#//how sunday outwardly acts: :)

[carnivoraformes]

@bishonenprince asked, “Don’t I deserve this one little fantasy?” - Sunday

‘an offer from a gentleman’ prompts || Status: Accepting

He had hoped their meeting would be a one off ordeal and that he could go off planning for the Charmony Festival and working against the ill intentioned heathen hidden in what should be a utopia.

Still he tried to smile despite the fact many nights his mind had been so busy worrying, fretting and dealing with the various figurative fires going off around him that there was for no true rest. Just work, wanting to scream, more work and various people forcing him to pleasant just so he would not come off as an ill mannered man.

This being one of those people.

"Might I suggest pursing such things with other people? As much as I would love to indulge you I have my hands tied. Believe me, I'm sure a man such as yourself could find many people that would love to share this evening with you."

[drdemonprince]

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and willingness to explain how queer spaces can be a lot less transphobic than discourse within the trans community can make it seem. A lot of the past few years for me have been spent closeted out of fear that reactions around me would be uniformly hostile. Things are obviously going to be different for me as a transfem, but I have a much easier time being optimistic now!

I am so glad! Listen, the people who post online all the time about how miserably hard it is to find a place for oneself as a trans person create a kind of reverse survivorship bias. They are the people who have already convinced themselves it's best to forever remain closeted or that forging any kind of accepting community for oneself is impossible. Often, they are also people who once harbored unrealistic fantasies about just strolling up one day into a pre-existing community that was perfect for them, not realizing that we must form our relationships painstakingly one by one (it tends to be the white eggs/unhappy lonely trans people who are most prone to thinking of community in that way). there's plenty of trans guys who are doomers like this too and they really tend to actively encourage one another to remain locked away. it's like incel kind of behavior when it's taken to its most extreme form. sometimes, it can be outwardly really nasty homophobic shit too (especially among "afabs" who complain about "cis gays" never accepting them and being super privileged). in its milder form, it's just extreme trauma brain.

The people you do not hear from so much are the people who are busy out in the world going on dates, acting in plays, getting their asses spanked in dungeons, playing tabletop roleplaying games, and going to farmer's markets with their three also transgender wives. Those are the people who know (that is to say, have learned!) how to interact with their fellow queer people, have spent some time out in the community, and in all likelihood have many rich friendships with cis lesbians, cis gay men, enbies, asexuals, bisexuals, straight ish poly people, and everybody else under our big umbrella.

I don't want to be overly pollyannaish because of course trans people have a tough time, and especially trans women have unfortunately to be on the lookout for really vile transmisogyny. But I think when people are wounded and traumatized by these things, they sometimes make the entire world sound incredibly unwelcoming, which creates a self-limiting feedback loop of isolation and mistrust. That is what trauma does! But it is not the truth. and we only learn otherwise when we give other people the chance to prove our worst fears wrong.

Like, just for an example, this Sunday I was at a silent book club at Dorothy, a gay bar on the west side that skews lesbian but is for everyone. I'd never been there before but it was an absolutely charming experience! Dozens upon dozens of lesbians draped over couches and curled up in chairs with their books, quaffing cocktails, alongside a few random dots of gay and/or trans men. Trans women were just a natural completely unremarkable feature of this environment. I couldn't even tell you how many t girls were there. It would be like counting plus sized girls or butches at this lesbian function. If it's a good lesbian function, there's gonna be a diverse crowd and it won't be weird or a big deal to anyone, they'll just be like any other women there. a lot of the big lesbian events here in Chicago (like Strapped) are organized by trans women, so of course there's a robust trans femme presence there.

And all of these groups at this function were getting laid. the couches were overflowing with women, so many that girls were grabbing pillows to sit on and huddle together with their books on the floor. Girls canoodled and cuddled on couches. I saw a cis alt girl covered in facial piercings flirting with a very prim and proper trans girl who was dressed like a victorian governness. they didnt know one another, but after the silent book club hour was done, they left for a while together, then came back with some food. across from me and my friends, i watched them gathering up on the couch, the space between their bodies slowly closing up into nothing over the course of the evening. they flirted and touched and then left the bar together to (and im no expert on body language but i could pick up on this one) fuck eachothers tits right off.

and of course plenty of other lesbians and wlw paired off or tripled off and had their fun too. again, just like steamworks, fat people, thin people, black and brown people, white people, disabled people, neurodivergent people, trans people, older people, younger people, everybody was there. like any good queer space, it was just a reflection of humanity. there is always more that can be done to make these spaces more broadly accessible to full community. but part of that is by putting ourselves there.

again i dont mean to make it sound like finding and making one's space is easy! especially not for trans women! but I also don't want people to get seduced by the hopeless jadedness that some foment online. there are spaces that some trans women I know will never go to -- even an explicitly trans affirming bookstore like Women and Children First gives many trans women I know bad vibes they cant quite explain but all feel (the store is owned and run by old white cis lesbians, it's not surprising to me that it's a little fucked no matter their good intentions) -- and ive heard people say transmisogynistic stuff at events, particularly from "ill date anybody but cis men" type t boys (my brothers, i hate you). shit can be tough. very tough. but also, the world isn't all uniformly as hostile as it's made out to be. there are people who are desperate to meet you. I hope you will come out to find them.

[krawlernyannyan]

IT'S ALL ABOUT ENA (ft. SUNDAY WAS THE BAD GUY ALL ALONG)

After the v2.2 trailer I'm really starting to think the events going on in Penacony are somehow deeply tied to Ena the Order. At first I thought all the Order motifs (i.e. the eye symbol of Order being all over) around Penacony were just cool worldbuilding details about how the Harmony must've adopted the Order's symbology on top of THEIR Path, but now...

Like the thing that's really tipping me off here is all the goddamn puppets. The final boss of which is religiously-themed.

This is an insane idea but what if everything that's been going on in Penacony has been the result of somebody trying to re-establish contact with Ena and/or the Path of Order? One of the major discoveries we made in v2.1 was that something's wrong with the Harmony, so what if the Harmony on Penacony is being corrupted in such a way that it aligns more with the Order? It's not even hard to see how.

The Harmony should be about cooperation, resolving differences, mutual understanding, but on Penacony that's not remotely the case. The Family's main tactic to keep the peace has been robbing people of their memories and emotions - keeping them in control not necessarily so people can heal, but to keep them in line and serve their designated functions. The Family on Penacony has already been debasing its population into obedient puppets, doing everything possible to maintain the facade they've created.

There's also the fact that Penacony used to be a prison, a setting that embodies the kind of control and forcible penance that Order represents. Xipe's attention was drawn to it because its prisoners began uniting together in the dreamscape but what happens if Penacony reverts back to a prison?

There's a lot of things that click neatly into place with one extra assumption, that the person ultimately behind this distortion is the most Order-adjacent character in the Penacony cast: Sunday.

He's the most outwardly religious person on Penacony in terms of his faith and he's straight-up covered in the Order's eye symbol, even having them on his halo, plus his major character trait is being a control freak. Circumstantially, he fits.

At this point it's been hammered in that there's a traitor in The Family - as the person in charge of the Family (only answering to the unseen Dreammaster) he's literally pulling the strings on Penacony and in the best position to manipulate its environment, so him being the literal puppetmaster behind everything would be a neat turn of phrase.

While he's outwardly devout to Xipe it could be the case that his appeals are specifically to those aspects of Xipe that THEY absorbed from Ena.

Sunday's ultimate goal is to create a truly perfect paradise in Penacony, but his idea of that could be reliant on the complete control of its population to stop all conflict, hence why he's going to such lengths to get Ena's influence.

It's been stated that a lot of the Dreamscape exists thanks to blessings from Xipe the Harmony, leading to its relative safety, but if the Harmony starts getting corrupted and weakened, then that would weaken those effects and that could be why the deeper dreamscape is starting to flood into Penacony. (This would be an unintentional side-effect of trying to bring about Order, or at least one Sunday thinks the influence of the Order could resolve in its own way.)

Sunday's been putting more resources into finding the serial killer than he is into the Charmony Festival, upsetting other Family members. If he's the one behind everything, he should already have a plan in mind for the Charmony Festival and so it's not a concern to him but the serial murders act as a chaotic element upsetting his attempted Order so stopping them and restoring Order is his higher priority.

On the subject of the serial murders: one detail we got in v2.1 is that the victims seem to be entirely random with no correlations or similarities between them. It could be that we just don't know the underlying reason but what if it is random? Intentionally random because doing it like that means there's no order to them. Something chaotic to disrupt the mastermind's plans to re-align Penacony into the Order. If they're Enigmata-themed like Gallagher, the random killings serve the double-purpose of obfuscating their true intent by making people try to find reason where there isn't any.

(I want to emphasize here that Sunday wasn't behind Robin's murder. This idea only works if he and the killer are on opposing sides, plus when he confronts Gallagher about her death I believe he's genuinely upset about it. Her investigation into the Harmony on Penacony is probably why she was targeted but I still believe Sunday would've tried other ways of getting her onto his side if she found out.)

Now, Robin did presume he was innocent, but we can excuse that on the basis that it's unlikely she would assume her own brother had ulterior motives, and his "death" at the end of v2.1 could simply be a narrative red herring to make us think he's only a victim in all this.

The last point I want to make here: the main event of the Charmony Festival is supposed to be Xipe's incarnation descending (in this case Dominicus, who was referenced in v2.1). If someone is actively trying to tilt Penacony away from Harmony and towards Order, then by the time the Charmony Festival actually arrives it might be not be Xipe's incarnation we see descend, but instead an incarnation of Ena. Hell, we might have actually seen that exact situation happening in one of The Great Septimus' attacks:

[valentinesparda]

as far as personalities for everyone:

lav is very much a robot with a bit of a curious streak, and the longer they interact with people the more that they start to mirror human expressions and reactions, even if just for the appearance of being a real person, even if it means they are looked at weird and told not to become too aware. but this is overwhelming in all sense of the word to them, eventually becoming all too familiar with the negative experience of being aware of your feelings. they lash out at the world because they only have one thing they are programmed to protect

pandora is calm and deadpan, but prone to feeling perhaps a little too deeply as well - becoming flustered over time as they contemplate their existence just like lav, but for the most part they outwardly remain unaffected by their emotions and keep things to themself. they are generally serious and maybe a little too blunt, but they have a hidden soft side that rarely shows to anyone they don't trust. eventually they crumble under the weight of their expectations and fears as they lack a healthy support system, and are given an impossible amount of responsibility that it drives them mad

sunday feels emotions too deeply, but the only expression they generally share is concern and anxiety, as the real world tends to be scarier than the inside of the laboratory and they tend to only immediately trust anyone in a lab coat or suit over anything else - but they're a pretty nice person beneath the slightly off-putting exterior they have and eventually grow a bit more of a spine. they're kind in their own weird way and definitely act before they think sometimes, and they rarely enjoy fighting, but most of all they begin to unlearn their warped view of the outside world and learn to love it and its natural wonders

robin is the most normal outright of all four of them - while they perhaps took a little too much inspiration from reno in how they should act in a professional setting, they're a bit of a social chameleon, and prefer to talk their way out of problems rather than do any work. this is turned on its head when they experience the conditioning used to become a tsviet, having lost even more of their inhibitions and acting much more on instinct and out of desperation than they had been

[theworldwalkerswols]

Ishgardian 3 and their relationship with Halonic faith brainwyrms

DISCLAIMER/CW: This is deeply colored by my experience with Catholicism; one of my parents grew up Catholic and parts of that side of the family still are, but I was raised in a secular household and am now a pagan witch, go figure this has been your PSA

HAURCHEFANT

does what he must to be perceived as a good Halonic man. There is a small chapel at Dragonhead and he makes an appearance there every Sunday unless pressing matters prevent it. The ritual, the habit, is comforting to him, but he’s long since thought the Fury wasn’t listening, if She was there in the first place. But still, he tries to pray, especially for the protection of those he cares for. But he’s been hurt too much, and has seen too much of Her glorious War. He’s sick of it.

ESTINIEN

felt deeply connected to the Fury as the avatar of righteous destruction. She’s been there with him in his darkest hours, his only solace when the rage and grief are too much. Felt for years that even if he failed to avenge his family, She would ensure it was done.

The truth takes his feet out from under him. But his crisis of faith is undercut by the chaos of the death throes of the Dragonsong War: he hardly has time to process it, let alone grapple with its implications, before he’s possessed by Nidhogg. After coming back from the brink he’s left with more to think about than he can handle. This is one of the reasons he leaves Ishgard. He has So Much to process and he needs to be outside its sphere of influence to manage it. But he still prays to Her. Sometimes guiltily.

AYMERIC

has had a number done on him. Even with his parentage being only alleged for most of his life, possibly being the Archbishop’s son, born in and of sin, he was Devout in his young life to compensate. He needed to be. It was a defense mechanism.

When he was young he believed it. But as he grew, it became more and more performative, more and more the facade he put up to avoid yet another avenue of censure. Some days he still prays to Her like he used to, still feels sheltered by his faith. Some days he hates Her. How could She be said to destroy the wicked and shelter the needy when his people are starving and freezing to death? Her war takes and takes and takes and grants no succor. But still he attends mass. Like clockwork, nothing less than an attack on the city preventing him. He HAS to be seen there, HAS to be seen entering confessional even if the things he says while there aren’t, in his mind, truly sins. (Even if sometimes he relishes the act of sinning in itself, his own private, unspoken rebellion.) Even if he’s going through the motions, he persists in his performance. His reputation is ever on the edge of a knife and if it takes him playing at devotion to stay balanced, so be it.

When the truth comes out, part of him feels vindicated. Part of him feels grief. And part of him is enraged. He stops going to mass unless he actually feels called to attend (not often, but surprisingly, sometimes, standing in the back). He stops pretending. He holds his tongue, there’s no need to further damage his image when he’s already had an assassination attempt and more death threats than he cares to count, but his relationship with his faith becomes outwardly what it’s always been: deeply personal. He believes in the Fury, aye, and prays She watches over his loved ones, but he also, finally, lets himself be angry with Her. Lets himself feel the rage and indignation he’s choked down for decades. And, keep it close to the vest or not, he lets himself despise the church. What it was built on, what it puts its people through, how brainwashed and closed-minded and hateful so many of those it ensnares become. And he hopes for a better Ishgard, a better faith, and a better church, one that is more open, and loving, and kind. One befitting the age of peace he hopes to build. Even if all he can lay in his lifetime is just the first stone of the foundation of that peace, that better Ishgard, it would be enough.

[sweetnvery]

On social media or something (or: does anyone relate to this or am I going crazy)

Somehow everything we learn in my lit class is scarily relevant to my life? In the past couple months, as I've gained a significant amount of confidence in myself, I've secretly (maybe it hasn't been so secret) become more & more obsessed with the idea of growing up to be one of those Bushwick influencers/creatives/models/friends of models who have random business making artsy planners or crochet cat hats or overpriced phone cases. They have cool, chic, cluttered apartments. They are smart and cultured (well-read and interested in Godard films, Patti Smith records, and vintage designer clothes). They post on Instagram casually & constantly, in a way that suggests a lack of any planning or afterthought. While these @dreamgallllllls and @bigbookladys* are seemingly carefree and wild--unable to act in any manner opposite authentically themselves--I can't help but notice how calculated they must be in order to uphold this fundamentally aesthetic-less aesthetic.

I, who spent the last 17+ nights stoned & paralyzed scrolling through my meticulously curated Pinterest boards (my pride and joy at this point in my strange and seemingly simulated college half-life), exert a majority of my energy trying to become someone who is outwardly, effortlessly "cool"--someone who is intelligent & accomplished, but primarily who looks good doing so. I wasn't doing anything during this time... I was supposed to be spending my break resting & recovering from my bout of mono. Yet, I felt compelled to find & capture, for example, the most aesthetic corners of my bedroom, the cutest effortless "sick day" outfit, the most obscure (but relatably curated) Spotify playlists. But this wasn't a one-off event I experienced over my break where I had nothing better to do. I think I've been thinking this way for a long time. In retrospect, it feels fake and so endlessly silly. On one hand, I genuinely enjoy where I am in life: I feel confident, for what feels like the first time, in my appearance; I devour well-written books willingly; I love my friends; I'm constantly inspired to create. On the other, I wonder if I'm subconsciously doing all of these things to curate a specific persona...

But why must I fit in one box or another? Why must my life, above all things, produce a perfectly picturesque Instagram profile? Why do I feel compelled to make everything I do a performance? A viral TikTok? A pretty picture?

These thoughts have all been at the top of my mind recently, but they resurfaced, specifically, during my lit class this morning in which we were discussing Edith Wharton's The House of Mirth. Lily Bart, the heroine (Is she a heroine? I think I'd say so. I've only gotten through eight chapters so far.) of the novel, is a striking and unmarried 29-year-old socialite. She is described as extremely observant--and throughout her life, she has always noticed the superficiality of upper society: everything that is done is done strictly for appearances. This applies to men and women alike, but women--whose main purpose in society was to find a wealthy husband and to settle down--especially, were expected, above all, to keep up appearances. The upper-crusts read books not to gain knowledge for themselves, but to discuss their readings with others. They collect antiques only to brag of their acquisitions. They attend church only to be seen in their Sunday best. To them, things aren't worth doing unless they'll be shared with others--unless they will be rewarded socially for doing them. Is this not so scarily relevant today, almost 120 years later? This is social media! Like Lily Bart, I feel compelled to participate, despite recognizing how harmful and trivial it all is.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all this, but it is something I have really been struggling with, guiltily, amidst all of this serious & tragic global conflict. Why should I care so desperately about posting a video of the outfit only my 9:45am, 12-person art class saw when children are being murdered by the minute in Gaza? When so many people are living in poverty across the world? It is such an obviously blind, unfeeling, First-World problem. What are these strange social constructions which have lasted from 1905 to now? Why do we place so much meaning in the trivial? Why do I care so much about appearances? I have a feeling maybe it's not that deep. Maybe Instagram is just Instagram. I think I should spend less time thinking about all this made-up stuff and spend more time doing my Econ homework. Bleh.

*Not to name drop influencers!!!!! nothing against them!! love these ppl!! so much!!! wish I were them!!! tbh!!

[wildwoof]

I saw some artwork && it got my brain buzzing tbh. I've talked about firs year Koga & his baby ponytail before, how I'd love to know if there's a reason on why he went from growing out his mullet to suddenly having short hair. While there's a chance that there wasn't ANY reason for his actions aside from just getting a haircut. Say maybe his mom or family in general decided he really needed to get his hair cut.

Or.... it had some symbolic reasoning for what he decided to no longer done the small ponytail. Did it perhaps have something to do with the ultimate change in Rei's outward demeanor? After all, Koga didn't know ALL the details of what Rei went through. The trials & tribulations, the constant pleasing of others up until a breaking point. KOGA DIDN'T KNOW. Clearly from later conversations, he knew SOMETHING transpired. After all, he shown through words he was aware of what Rei went through being labeled as one of the 5 Eccentrics during that first year.

But he didn't KNOW the details of the crack between Rei & Keito at the time of Crossroad. He also wasn't caught in the middle of the crossfire, thanks to being left out of the details. Keito "disbanded" DEADMANZ while Koga sought out Rei during one of the times he returned from abroad to bring Adonis in & form UNDEAD, which Koga admitted later he named due to crying out to Rei to keep going.

But we don't actually know what all HAPPENED at the end of the that year, aside from fine's ultimate victory of the War into the next year before Anzu transferred into Yumenosaki. There's an uncertain period of what HAPPENED. Because Koga would have had to come face-to-face with the drastic change in Rei's outward persona that'd ultimately trigger a switch inside Koga. There's a POINT that's missing. A small detail kept out, because when Anzu meets Koga in game, he's already solidified his wall he built up around himself.

He's already easily agitated with sharp tongue & dangerous mouth. His expressions are already so cut-throat with aggression ( even if most people tend to see past it eventually ). He's also never outwardly honest. But also ??? HIS PONYTAIL IS GONE.

Some artwork I saw depicted Koga cutting the ponytail off himself, which automatically had my brain just buzzing. Like imagine the first time Koga comes into contact with someone who's not the man he used to know. Someone who's changed so drastically from the way he looked up to. It's clear in Resurrection Sunday's story that Rei's still the same at that point in time. His personality hadn't changed yet, but Koga was already dedicating the group's name to UNDEAD. So, at some point, Rei came back from constantly going abroad, the 5 Eccentrics were beaten down completely by Eichi & fine, && the school was reformed. Which then Rei finally decided he was tired, switching how he acted on the surface.

The very change from the person he aspired to be like. So it's no surprise as emotional as Koga is that he internalized. I can picture him at home, standing in front of the mirror, && realizing so much was crumbling around him that he had no way to control. With that all in mind, can't you just see Koga grabbing up a pair of scissors && just cutting his ponytail off ??? It's very fitting for Koga to have been growing it out thanks to how much he looked up to Rei, how much he strived to be recognized & taught by Rei, to stand by Rei's side.

To just GRAB all that hair in his hand & chop it off without question. Perhaps at the same time he was doing it, he also had tears in his eyes ??? Like Koga's EMOTIONAL. His temperament revolves around the emotions bottled up within him. It took until the Repayment Festival for those emotions to burst over & finally open up. If it wasn't coming out as anger over something else, Koga clearly bottled stuff in. He aspired to be like who Rei used to be. Even in Succession match, he shot down when Adonis said he was acting just like Rei. Like Koga said himself, he's only taking INSPIRATION, but he's still HIMSELF. Because yes, even during his second year in the academy, he wasn't EXACTLY like how Rei used to be. He took some of Rei's mannerisms to attempt to keep hold of something & show Rei who he used to be, but it was not him BECOMING Rei, he was still himself.

Thus, I can just see... him in his emotional state with Rei so drastically different from how he remembered & aspired to be, that he'd take up a pair of scissors && cut his own hair off. Though, it's a given if he did that, he'd end up going to a barber to get his hair fixed because that would not have cut well himself.

[shivunin]

happy Sunday! 💖

Philautia 3 & Ludus 3 for Maria / Philia 5 for Arianwen / Eros 5 for Emmaera

Happy Sunday to you as well! 💗

(Some discussion of sex below the break and in the tags)

(7 Forms of Love Asks)

Philautia 3: Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?

Maria is harder on herself than she is on anyone else. I think her standards for others vary based on the other person's situation---she has a very low opinion of the rich, for example, because they do so little to give back---but in general, she holds herself to a high standard. When she fails, she internalizes it and struggles to let it go. That isn't something she would show outwardly, though; she laughs a lot off and dwells on it in private. Only the people who know her best have any idea how personally she takes failure.

Ludus 3: How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?

Ooof. Yeah.

Definitely not something she ever thought about before Fenris. Maria found people attractive before him, and flirted and dated (a little), but Fenris was the first person she actually wanted to have sex with. If she'd thought for a second that it would be a one-night thing, she would have told him to go home. After that night, she really, really struggled to find a balance between wanting him to stay around (and remain her friend) and trying to put her feelings for him aside.

(I think from his perspective...the only thing she could think to do was not touch or look at or be near him at all. Given how affectionate she is to all of her friends otherwise, the contrast was as stark as it was painful...but this question isn't about Fenris)

The most logical solution she could come up for to solve this problem was dilution. Maybe she couldn't forget that night because it was the first time. Therefore, she would just drown out the memories with a lot of other experiences and then, obviously, all of those confusing feelings would go away and she could have her friend back and everything would be just like it used to be.

So Maria spent a few weeks of focused experimentation at the Rose trying every sex act that sounded even remotely interesting. It was nice enough, interesting from an experiential perspective, but the sex never felt like what she'd had with Fenris. There was no emotional connection, and without that the whole experience remained somewhat academic.

She was working up to one-night stands when Leandra died, and after that it all seemed a bit pointless. Fenris was so present for her, especially after the fight with the Arishok, that she finally conceded that she was just going to have to live with being in unrequited love with him forever. At that point, I don't think she ever seriously considered casual sex again--though she did have suitors in the gap between acts 2 and 3.

Philia 5: What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

Safety and happiness. Wen would even refrain from killing to make this happen c:

Joking aside, Alistair is her dearest friend. By the end of the Blight, he's family to her. I think her deepest wish for him is that he eventually can have a life that he chooses for herself. She is well aware that she's the reason this couldn't happen, but she didn't see any other choice at the time. She would gladly and easily assassinate the nobility to make his life earlier, but more importantly she would let them live for his peace of mind. She remains his closest confidante even at a distance even though it's really hard for her to act in that capacity. When he calls her to Denerim to act as an advisor for important meetings, she neither complains nor climbs out a window.

(Morrigan, who is her next closest friend...Wen is willing to let Morrigan go if it really makes her happy. At the end of Witch Hunt, it breaks her heart a little bit to say goodbye for good. I like to think they connected again later, after Morrigan came back to the material world with Kieran.)

Eros 5: How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

I don't think Emma is especially preoccupied with her appearance in general. If she were to think about it, she would suppose she looks pretty enough, but then she'd move on to something more interesting. Her confidence is linked very strongly to her mind; her body is a secondary consideration most of the time. She does try to present a particular image, especially given her role as the Inquisitor, but I don't think her idea of self-worth is tied to her physical appearance at all.

But then, she is my absentminded professor OC and forgets she even has a body half the time when she's comfortable. The hardest times in her life are times where she is forced to feel herself intensely for long periods of time: after she is stabbed, when she loses her arm, the rough period in Kirkwall when she's going into Darktown several times a week and having to heal constantly.

[nepofmwren]

kristine   froseth.     she/her.     cis   woman.      ›spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   wren   lafleur   ,   most   likely   listening   to   gypsy   by   fleetwood   mac   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty one    gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -insecure   yet   +creative   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you’ll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   a   smile   that   can   light   up   a   room,   mascara   stained   eyes,   a   room   filled   with   vintage   fashion,   dancing   barefoot   in   the   rain   ,   followed   by   eau   de   soleil   blanc   eau   de   toilette   by   tom   ford   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   making   a   sex   tape   with   her   manager   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .   

BASICS

Full Name: Wren Lafleur

Age: 21

Siblings: Wesley Lafleur (fraternal twin brother)

Birthdate: August 18th, 2001

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Hometown: Marseille, France

Current residence:  New York, New York

Occupation: social media influencer & model

LIKES/DISLIKES

LIKES: Vintage fashion, Fleetwood Mac & Stevie Nicks, early 2000′s pop music, stuffed animals, cheesy romantic comedies, handwritten notes, Starbucks, chocolate covered strawberries, makeup, shopping, mini skirts, her overflowing shoe closet, Sunday brunches with her besties, daddy’s credit card

DISLIKES:  Rude people, spicy/tart food, sleeping in past your alarm, bad hair/makeup days, chipped nail polish, canceled plans, getting spoiled for the end of a book or show, not understanding a joke, being yelled at

MINI BIO

Trigger warning for mentions of anxiety, depression, death

Wren and Wresley were born in France to parents Lisa Kapone and Alain Lafleur, being one of the most famous and prominent names within Europe. Everybody wanted to know and be a member of the Lafleur family, considering her parents had high connections in the hospitality and fashion industries.

Her childhood was nothing short of magical, it being something anybody would envy. Both her and her brother were spoiled rotten by parents that saw them as their 'golden twins'. Their life seemed perfect. Well, almost too perfect that is.

The tone of her family dynamic took a negative turn after the infamous cheating scandel in her parent's marriage along with the passing of their mom. The Lafleur family had one too many scandles hit the front page news and weren't as squeaky clean as others pegged them to me. A preteen Wren didn't quite know how to handle this kind of spotlight on her family.

Wren always was a bit closer with her mom in comparison to her dad ( though she liked to think she had a good relationship with both of them ). So, her death did hit her hard even if she never always outwardly showed it.

Wren began to go to therapy to try to talk through her intense feelings that she was having from her mom's passing. She was diagnosed with panic discorder and depression and was put on medication for both.

Generally, her anxiety has always been worse than her depression. It causing her to lose sleep and effect her day to day life. Thanks to regular therapy and medication, a young Wren was able to be "okay" for the most part.

When she transitioned into her teenage years, Wren would begin her 'rebellious' streak. Befriending older models from photoshoots and shows, she would find herself sneaking off underage to house parties and clubs. Fake ID's didn't really matter when she had major connections thanks to her last name. That chunk of her life ( around fifteen to like nineteen ) was probs her most intense party stages. She is still very much a party goer, but she's tried to clean up her act a lil' bit.

College wasn't much of a thought for Wren, already knowing it would be a waste of time for her. School was never really her thing, even though she graduated from high school with decent marks. The girl knew that she wanted to continue with climbing up the ladder of the fashion world and raise her follower count on social media.

So right now, she's just kinda vibing??? Continuing to take modeling gigs and doing her social media stuff. Her short term goals do include starting a podcast and fashion line.

HC'S/FUN FACTS/OTHER INFO

Wren stopped going to therapy and regularly taking her medication after high school, becoming too busy with her various jobs and feeling like it wasn't necessary for her anymore.

As an alternative, she just hits her dab pen a lot and has found other hobbies to curb her anxious thoughts ( adult coloring books, yoga, making handmade jewerly, etc ).

Wren spent her high school years vlogging her teenage years and posting weekly updates on her youtube channel ( very much Emma Chamberlain tbh ). Overall, she has always wanted to appear geninune and relatable to her fans/audience. Her content ranged from thrifting hauls, school vlogging, get ready with me's, music recs, etc.

As she got a bit older and youtube wasn't become as popular, she transitioned those vlogs over to her instragram and tiktok.

She has been coined as one of the most "powerful" up and coming young influencers in the fashion industry. Basically, teens and other young adults pin her outfits on pinterest and she has made certain "trends" go viral.

Wren is an extroverted introvert. She's very "mirroball / the archer / this is me trying coded." She can be considered a bit of a social chameleon. She can put on a good outwardly appearance when it is needed for her career and social outings. She tries to be friendly and generally see the best in others but ultimately, she tends to keep a smaller inner circle of close friends. When she is in party mode, it's a different story. Bestie is talkative af when she is tipsy and on other sustances.

The rumor about her is 10000% true. She ended up going to a last minute party with her manager that went waaaay too crazy. One thing lead to another and BOOM, a sex tape was recorded. She is pretty terrified of it getting leaked, knowing it would ruin her reputation.

WREN IS A SWIFTIE. She has been one since the start!! If you asked her for her favorite albums from her, she is torn between folklore/ lover / reputation.

Bestie is a hopeless romantic :// known for having her fair share of flings and one night stands but has had very minimal partners. She has a big heart but is very insecure and hasn't quite found the right person to really open up to.

Honestly....she is a bit ditzy. She can have her head in the clouds at times and be a bit naive and be a little too trusting of others who probably will stab her in the back.

Overall, Wren is a very eccentric famous model / influencer who is a pretty messy but means well <33

FULL BIO

coming soon.

[selormohene]

day 90 (sunday, october 1st 2023)

During the AG concert I had a sudden flash of inspiration. I was texting a friend about my PhD (and about his experiences working in tech and living a different kind of life) and my mind went back to the plan of moving to California and then finding a job doing something mathy in the next year. I still want to spend next year in California (although there would be the matter of a potential relationship to think about, because I do think I might be ready to start one back up again), but simply dropping out might be more difficult than I'd originally anticipated. All the same I do want to finish my PhD, and I do think I'd be able to do something that I'd be both mathematically and philosophically proud of, even if more the latter than the former, but math is always there.

I've been thinking about the idea of being more than what you appear to be, or what you have done. I've long felt as though I was more than I might appear to others, at least regarding the ways in which I'm conscious of appearing to others. And I think it's easy to characterise reticence or inarticulacy as mere shadows of the expressiveness and eloquence that lay dormant within me, or what would appear to be carelessness as sprezzatura. But I've often wondered if my characteristic ways of expressing myself, to the extent that they would appear to fall short of the ideal versions that exist in my head, might not simply be the thing itself, and the ideals mere delusion.

It occurs to me that we all experience our own inner lives, but we only experience the expressions of the inner lives of others. Or, at any rate, we experience the outer expressions of others, and the sense in which we experience their inner lives is simply that in which one's actions are expressions of oneself; that's not to say that the inferences and associations we come to draw on the basis of what we see outwardly will necessarily be accurate. But there are different ways one can respond to this realisation (or at any rate act given this fact). Some people recalibrate inwards, doubting their beliefs about themselves if they don't correspond to their actions or what people take their actions to be. Some people recalibrate outwards, coming to take others to be far more complex than any particular facet of their expression (or even the sum total) might suggest, based on their conviction that they are themselves more complex than their expression might suggest. Other people naïvely take themselves as exceptions, while yet others consciously take themselves as exceptions, convinced that they're the only ones who are complex and multifaceted and everyone else is simply nothing more than who they appear to them to be.

There's the view, popularly attributed to Sartre, that there's nothing more to who you are than what you do, than the expression. But I do want to recognise a distinction between self-deceiving beliefs of the form "I could be doing more than I am with regard to X" — I'm a better student than my grades would suggest, if only I put in the work I'd blow people away with my talent, etc. — and genuinely true beliefs of this form. But I think a way of strengthening the Sartrean sort of view (I make no claims about the relation of this view to Sartre himself) is to hold that (and this is something I've mentioned in a prior post) what you have the potential to do, what you could do, what you are in potentiality, isn't simply what you do consistently, but it can't quite float free of what you do consistently even in the face of systematic opposition, because what you are in potentiality is also how you respond to the obstacles which systematically present themselves to your doing whatever it is that you have the potential to do. And that response is itself a form of doing which contributes to making you who you are. So it's not usually quite the case that two people can have the same capacity for X and yet one consistently does it and the other doesn't but "totally could have, man" — because there's a question of what was preventing the other from doing what he could have done and why he didn't overcome what was preventing him. And although there will be systematic differences in barriers, I don't think this is the universal sufficient explanation for such cases. I'll have to keep that in mind as far as my goals of strengthening my memory and developing my will and agency and discipline and impulse control and all those things go.

[growwithmeastrology]

Sunday, August 6th 2023

Sun in Leo ♌️🔥Moon in Aries ♈️🔥

The best way to attract what you want, is to become it. We can’t give from an empty cup and what we already have within is what we attract more of.

The Moon in Aries trines Venus retrograde in Leo today. It’s important to determine what our true individual values are by taking a look at the things we’re putting value on. This is the time for reviewing our relationships and financial situations but also for looking deep within ourselves to let go of the limiting beliefs that are holding us back. If what you truly want isn’t the life you’re living, it’s time to adjust accordingly.

The Moon in Aries will square retrograde Pluto in Capricorn. This energy will stir up some of those internal struggles and have us in combative mode with ourselves. This can turn into manipulation. And while you may be able to win the battle by acting as though everything is fine, you’ll end up losing the war.

The Sun in Leo is squaring Jupiter in Taurus and while this boosts our confidence and optimism, when coupled with the other present energies, it can have us wasting away our precious energy on the things more outwardly that make us feel good in the moment, just for the sake of saying everything is fine. It’s better to use this energy to lead the way towards real and tangible results.

What does all this mean? Well, like this post began, it’s time to be what it is you want to be. We don’t think we purposely attract unto ourselves what we don’t want in our lives, but we do. Our words cast spells. We are the creators of our existence and what we allow or say, typically doesn’t align with the core value system. We all do it. But now it’s time to align with our true, heart felt desires. ☮️💚💫

📸: Fernanda Meier Photography. Check out her work at FernandaMeier.com

Learn more about your personal energies and how the daily forecast affects you! Comment below⬇️ or DM me for a FREE consultation.

Grow With Me Astrology provides astrological roadmaps that empowers people to take full control of their lives. Let me reveal to you the most powerful tool you already possess.

If you’d like to support or donate:

🅿️ PayPal @KameyBatizWilson, Venmo @KameyBatiz or CashApp $NaliniFlor

[e-devotion]

the biggest risk

I continue to preach through the messages to the churches of Revelation (chapters 2 and 3), and this past Sunday we were in Sardis.  God had some issues with the church.  In fact it resembled a lot of places I have seen in my years going to church.

The writer said that they had a reputation for being alive.  They did good things.  They even sounded good.  But a reputation is what God is looking for.

They were dead.  On the outside they looked the part.  On the inside there was no life.  Jesus spoke to this as He encountered the Pharisees.  Listen in to that conversation that got very real …

Matthew 23:37-38  NLT  

"What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs-beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people's bones and all sorts of impurity. 28 Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.

The problem that I shared about is the fact that doing nothing brings many issues to the surface.  In fact the riskiest thing we can do is to do nothing.  We are saved to serve.  We have faith that shows in how we live.

Luke 12:8  NLT  

“I tell you the truth, everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, the Son of Man will also acknowledge in the presence of God’s angels.

It is easy to miss so much if we do nothing.  We will miss God.  We will miss what God is saying.  We will miss what God is doing all around us, and we don’t want to miss Him.

That is why the church at Sardis was warned to return to God and to repent of where they missed Him.  It is so easy to miss His guidance and His generosity and grace.  Make a change that will change you and change the people around you.

Acts 3:19  NLT  

Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away.

I have heard many times that things we will regret most in life are the things we didn’t do rather than the things we do.  The biggest risk we can take is doing 

May we take the steps God has put before us and walk in the direction that might seem a bit risky.  You won’t regret it.  And you will experience the freedom that God offers.

John 8:36  NLT  

So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.

[meatmechapilot]

AU August 2022 Day 8 and Day 18 - Literal Hell/Choir

Heaven's Light and Hellfire

Summary: Priest Levi lusts after choir boy Eren.

The first time Father Ackerman laid eyes on Eren, the light from outside the Cathedral struck just right through the stain glassed windows, so that it looks like the choir boy is encased in heavenly light.  The sight took the priest's breath away, and also stirred something forbidden in his loins.  Levi hastily looked away, banishing the sinful thoughts before they could form fully in his mind.

The second time Father Ackerman saw Eren, the choir boy was in the middle of Sunday Choir performance.  Even in a group, Eren's beautiful voice stood out to Levi, and he heard it rang out throughout the cathedral.  The voice stirred the same forbidden feelings in Levi again, and he begin to imagine how it would sound in more sinful circumstances.  As if reading Levi's mind, Eren's head turned toward the Priest and they made eye contact.  Levi felt a surge of lust and quickly excused himself.  That night, Levi masturbated until his hand started to cramp and he tried very hard not to think of the story of Onan.

The third time Father Ackerman saw Eren, it was in a confessional booth.  The boy was clearly distressed and was struggling to express himself.  Levi patiently calmed Eren down and listened to him confessing about having sinful thoughts about other boys.  Outwardly, Levi was the perfect Catholic priest, but inside, he was elated that there's a chance that Eren could start seeing Levi in the same light as how he himself sees the choir boy.  He suggested some additional spiritual guidance meetings between the two of them, to which the boy gratefully accepted.  That night, Father Ackerman made plans involving underage seduction instead of sleeping.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth time Father Ackerman saw Eren, they are at the spiritual guidance session.  A lot of things were discussed but each session saw the choir boy and the Priest grow physically closer.  A hand on the shoulder led to a make out session; a heated look led to a blow job; a confession led to an invitation to the Priest's home.  That night at home, Levi's busy preparing.  He wants their first time to be perfect.

The seventh time Father Ackerman saw Eren, he's at his doorstep.  Levi ushered Eren inside and offered him refreshments and snacks.  Afterwards, Levi led Eren into his bedroom and took his virginity.  The Priest consumed the choir boy; his body is a garden of delight, and Levi gorged himself, slaking his lust in between Eren's legs.  Levi doesn't care that he pretty much broke all this Priestly vows and is sinning against God, so caught was he in satisfying his carnal desires.

The Preist realizes that he's probably going to hell, but right now, with the choir boy in his arms, he's experiencing a taste of heaven.  Levi doubts that real Heaven is as good as this; for now, Levi wants to savor his piece of Heaven as long as he can.  Levi was shaken out of his thoughts when Eren woke up and pushed Levi to sit with his back to the bed board.  Eren climbed onto Levi's lap started bouncing up and down his cock.  Eren's voice ringing around the room, just as wanton as Levi always imagined, ever since he heard him sing in the choir.

Later, Levi would flip Eren on his hands and knees and pound him into the mattress.  The boy is responding to his appetite beautifully, pushing back while he thrusted forward, their bodies perfectly synchronized.  The sinful acts continued long into the night before both are finally satisfied and rest was to be had.  

It was at an ungodly hour that Eren woke up.  The choir boy extricated himself from Father Ackerman's arms and started to pull on his clothes.  He threw a look at the sleeping Priest, whose spend is still dripping down his legs.  Another Soul successfully corrupted, this one a so-called man of God.  The succubus congratulated himself for a job well done.

[mcbex]

**Sucking the Marrow Out of Life**

What is sin but my humanity trying to dominate my precious soul. It's no secret that I'm searching for something. The search for treasure or gold may prove fruitless but the search for Christ will not.

Another political event has come and gone and while some are happy, some are mad, most of us are caught in the middle watching the puppets dance in a show that is really mostly just distracting. I firmly believe we are meant to find happiness, but I think I have to be willing to find that joy looking beyond what the world has concluded is our purpose.

I went to a different church last weekend. I had no time on Sunday so I joined in elsewhere Saturday night and got a different take on things. They spoke of satisfaction in regard to how sometimes when we feel satisfied we pause and just try to stay contented and possibly completely miss that there could be more. It sounds innocuous enough, right? Find joy, keep joy, rinse, repeat. But when we are satiated are we missing spreading prosperity to others? Do we miss being more generous. Or worse, do we miss the real fulfillment of God? I asked myself quietly as we prayed, although I wanted to stand up and shout, "what happens when you aren't satisfied!". What happens when you are ready to act but feel stuck where you are. I'm sure they had words to say to placate me and send me on my way. But I don't want blank answers that are nonspecific to my needs. So I continue my search. The calling that will take me a life time to complete.

When it comes to generosity, I know I do what I can, but still feel like a scrooge hoarding my pennies for a rainy day. I want that feeling to dissolve. I want be the person God wants each of us to be. I am 100% sure being less than pleased with my own performance is part of that play. I want more Christ, more love, more give, more action and if there is a way, I want more faith in Jesus. I feel like the awakening IS the calling. It's the recognizing that while I need more rendering... I need less of me to suck the marrow out of life. The awakening is realizing I'm standing on the "X" and I need a plan to move. A plan of action. Because finding the treasure isn't X marks the spot, it must be following the treasure map to sharing Gods loves in any way we can. So I will push for the goal, look for the truth, ask ALL of the question and fight harder knowing the truth is out there. Satisfaction or not there is nothing this world can really offer me other than the chance for this.

Romans 13:11-14 And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.

Colossians 3:15-17 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

2Corinthians4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

[stpaulbulletins]

MAY 29, 2022

ST PAUL LUTHERAN CHURCH, LCMS

REVEREND DAVID HOEHLER, PASTOR

MAY 29, 2022

                OUR ORDER OF WORSHIP

PRELUDE, RINGING OF THE BELL, WELCOME

HYMN OF INVOCATION #851

“Lord of Glory, You Have Bought Us”

LITURGY Divine Service Setting Three p. 184

SCRIPTURE READINGS:

First Reading: Acts 1:12-26

Psalms Psalm 133

Epistle: Revelation 22:1-6, 12-20

Holy Gospel: John 17:20-26

NICENE CREED p. 191

HYMN OF THE DAY #832

”Jesus Shall Reign”

SERMON –John 17

OFFERTORY p. 192

PRAYER OF THE CHURCH

SERVICE OF THE SACRAMENT p. 194

DISTRIBUTION HYMN

#570 “Just as I Am, Without One Plea”

BENEDICTION

CLOSING HYMN #687

“Thine Forever, God of Love”

ACTIVITIES THIS WEEK

Today’s offering is designated to General Fund

Offering plates are located in the narthex

NEXT SUNDAY 9:00AM WORSHIP SERVICE

10:15AM BIBLE CLASS

OFFERING – Ministry – Armed Forces

THE LUTHERAN HOUR Dr. Dean Nadasdy reflects on five images from the book of Revelation and shows how God’s Word plus

faith and imagination equals hope. (Revelation 22:1-7)

Hear Guest Speaker of The Lutheran Hour:

Rev. Dr. Dean Nadasdy’s Message:

“Imagine That!”

On WPMB at 12:05 or KFUO at 12:30 or 5pm.

HOLY COMMUNION

Please note that we commune only those who are communicant members of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod.  Although we long to share this precious gift with you, we also recognize that where one receives the Sacrament outwardly, this also identifies that person’s confession of faith. If you desire to learn more

about our beliefs, pleases speak to Pastor.

PRAYERS: Zoe, Ron, Brenda, Braden, Sherrie, Luella,

Rodger, Joe, Melody, Bruce Robb, Marcella, Ed

LWML Mite Boxes are on the table in the narthex.

Take one home, fill with change & bring back when full!

[jesusgenerationblog]

Dear Jesus Generation,

Happy Sunday to all.

The Bible says Hebrews 9:13,14

The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean. How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God.

Jesus Christ, became our Ultimate Sacrifice once and for all. His Sacrifice made a way for us to be called “Children of God”. He saved us from Sin, Death and Eternal damnation. He became our Substitute and also our Saviour.

Being Forgiven, is the Greatest feeling you can have today. Thank God for this Everlasting Gift and be grateful for being a part of God’s Eternal Kingdom.

God bless !!!

#jesusgenerationblog #jesuschrist #Jesus