#//siobhan my beloved i am coming back to you!

[kennheir]

writing fucked up lil klaus daughters is good for the soul actually

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 1

We're SO Back

School is back in session y’all!!!!

Fantasy High has returned to us after a long break and I am thrilled to come out of my recapping hiatus to bring back the Report Card for Junior Year! You know I could let my favorite chaotic high schoolers go un-analyzed! 

This episode wastes no time in getting started so neither will I. Brennan makes what I think is a very strong narrative choice by starting us in media res at the end of a classic Bad Kids adventure. It is the summer between Sophomore and Junior Year and the party has spent the last four months hot on the trail of the dreaded Night Yorb.

We catch up to our Intrepid Heroes in the Red Waste and they’re trying to catch up to the Night Yorb which is a big, eldritch, manta ray like monster who threatens to plunge the entire world into darkness, creating a very slow (but still effective!) apocalypse! The Night Yorb is flanked by its groupies, made up of members of the many cults dedicated to it (collectively known as “Yorbies”).

As I said, the Bad Kids are hot on its trail, in (and on) the Hangvan. Gorgug (who has been leaning more into his Artificer vibes lately) has outfitted the top of the Hangvan with a solar lasso that can be used to capture and reel in the Night Yorb so that Fig and Adaine can defeat it with a magical sigil. I’m gonna quickly run down where everyone is and what they’re doing:

Adaine and Fig are both standing on top of the Hangvan in order to spring the sigil when the time comes. Adaine is also joined by Boggy and a new addition, Moggy the Doggy (aka, Mordekainen’s Faithful Hound), which is a very round, very cute, very invisible Pomeranian looking dog. 

Gorgug is also up top with them because he’s manning the solar lasso. 

Fabian is inside the Hangvan along with Baby (aka Wretchrot, aka Fig’s screeching blood imp who has no mechanical benefit unless she takes another level of Warlock as Brenan keeping reminding us) and Ecaf, a mirror with a sultry voice that Fabian is *heavily* flirting with, much to everyone’s discomfort. It’s tres Narcissus. (Also, ha, Face backwards. I see you Brennan).

Kristen is in the back with Fabian and Riz is driving, even though he is WAY too small to effectively be driving a Gorgug sized van. 

The Hangman–Fabian’s trusty motorcycle/hellhound–is out in front of the Hangvan.

Also Squeem is on the roof with the others! Beloved, fan favorite Squeem!

Yeah, so this episode does a thing of pretending like we’re jumping into the last episode of an arc that we’ve seen every episode of and introducing characters in a very Sam Reich, “He’s been there this whole time” way even though it’s their first appearance. I think it’s very funny and it reminds me of that Community episode where they’re all flashing back to episodes that never aired. But anyway, I mention this so that if I mention a name and you’re like “Whomst?” it’s probably just a bit, you’re not forgetting a major character.

Anyway, we’re joining this chase already in progress which means our kids are hurt and down spell slots but their opponents are as well. The distribution is pretty uneven–Adaine is way less hurt than Fabian and Kristen for instance, which honestly checks out (curious how they decided on that though). 

Because this episode is just one big battle sequence for the most part, I’m going to follow the precedent I set in the recaps for The Seven and just give the highlights in bullets and then do an analysis on where all the Bad Kids are right now at the end:

Murph comes in hot, using his first action of the new season to shoot his gun and doing 30 points of damage with a 27 to hit. New year, new Murph! 

Siobhan invokes the corn cuties debacle from fight one and all the falling off the tables that happened. Clearly, a bit of Adaine’s oracle energy is rubbing off on her because the next thing that happens in that Fabian decides to jump on top of the Hangvan to cast Faerie Fire on the Night Yorb (which has shrouded itself in magical darkness), rolls the first Nat 1 of the season, absolutely eats it, and gets run over by Riz–narrowly avoiding going down. He’s ultimately fine–The Hangman comes and picks him up–but it’s not a very auspicious star from Master Fabian. 

Emily and Murph have a cute moment of womping Brennan back to back by using Silvery Barbs to make him reroll two attacks on the Hangvan–one of which is a crit–and then giving each other the advantage on the next roll.

Kristen is a real pillar in this encounter–holding up the Circle of Power spell that allows her friends to ignore big chunks of damage that absolutely would have dropped them. But throughout the entire fight, her patron goddess, Cassandra, keeps trying to talk to her and Kristen keeps leaving her on read–we’ll get more into that in a bit. 

Adaine comes in clutch with a Nat 1 portent roll to stop the NIght Yorb from resisting Gorgug’s attempt to reel it in further. Truly, the best time to roll a Nat 1 in this game. Divination Wizards are awesome!

We learn that “Don’t Speak of the Night Yorb” is more than just a silly bit when Fig realizes that saying its name makes it heal up which isn’t great because they’ve been *very* cavalier about invoking its name. 

Squeem gets a big emotional goodbye with Gorgug on top of the Hangvan, heroically leaps off to fend off some Yorbies…and then rolls a 2 and totally faceplants. No! Squeem! Beloved fan favorite Squeem! They already had to revivify you once! 

On the Night Yorb’s turn, Brennan does an attack and shakes so many dice that it sounds like maracas. It’s 61 points of damage and squishy wizard Adaine goes down, but everyone else stays up–large in part due to Kristen’s aforementioned Circle of Power. (Siobhan, describing how bad her saving rolls were zings two separate friends saying, “It was Fabian level nasty. I fucking Murph’d it.”)

Luckily, Fig and Gorgug are up on the roof with Adaine so she does not go sliding off the van when she goes down. They catch her before she can fall. 

At this point the Van has sustained a lot of damage so Murph reminds the teacher that they have homework/Brennan that they have to roll for a mishap. That turns out to be the breaks blowing out. Now, all the Van can do is accelerate! It’s just like the movie Speed!

Two more characters who we totally know and have been here this whole time show up to help–Balthazar and Duggan McCann! A cool grizzled veteran and a centaur cowboy. Riz immediately starts doing cool guy banter with them because he’s somehow convinced them that he’s cool (which he is for the record, just in a completely different way lol). Unfortch, Baz almost right away gets eaten by the NIght Yorb. Who’s gonna take care of his litter (?) of parrots?????

 At this point in the fight, everyone gets a ping on their crystals, reminding them that school starts in three days. This stresses everyone out more than the fight that they’re currently in. 

Fig brings up Adaine with a Healing Word but she immediately has to do Wis save with the rest of the party. She and Fabian fail, but once again Fabian is saved by fear negating effects of his dad’s eyepatch. So Adaine starts to have a panic attack about the fact that she’s fighting the Night Yorb while standing on the roof of a moving vehicle which, real talk, very normal and valid reaction. In fact, probably concerning that she’s reached a point in her life where that *isn’t* the default reaction. 

The Hangvan is coming up on a jump it’ll have to make to continue following the Night Yorb (and it can’t even try to stop because the brakes are cut). Riz fails the roll which means that the van is probably going to fall on its side. Adding insult to injury, a pillar of rock falls and is going to crash into the van, doing even more major damage. 

Fig watches this, and almost dissociates, feeling the weight of the entire summer taken from them to do this quest. Feeling so so tired. Feeling the fact that even if they win, they’re just gonna have to go back to school and adventure some more. A piece of magic she’s been holding inside of for a long time flickers and she hears an enticing voice whisper in her ears. “If you would take me, you know what you would save.” She smells a sour, curdled scent and she knows that if she says yes, she can save her friends. Maybe there’s another way, but she just wants this to be over. “I’m yours,” Fig says. 

There’s a flash of “lemony, yellow, creamy” light (hmmmm) and the rock stops falling. The Hangvan starts righting itself.

And then there’s a sick gurgle from Fig’s stomach. 

Uh-oh, gang. 

For those of you who are new to these recaps, every week, I give one PC Detention and put one on the Honor Roll for their in-game actions. We’re starting off hot this semester with:

Detention 

Kristen Applebees for Being a BAD Friend to Cassandra 

Like, OK. Faith is complicated. Kristen’s relationship with religion is complicated. Being a cleric is complicated. But notice that I didn’t say being a bad *cleric*. I said being a bad *friend*. To be clear, she’s also being a bad cleric, and I’ll talk about that later. But having understandably conflicted views on religion doesn’t make sliding in your Fantasy Airpods while the being who is essentially a lonely teen girl and who is keeping you and all your friends alive tries to talk to you NOT seem like a giant dick move. Come on girl, get it together. 

Honor Roll

Brennan Lee Mulligan for Being a Great DM!

I realized as I was writing this that I’ve given Brennan Detention but never Honor Roll so he’s getting it today. It feels so good to have him back in the dome with the kids and he drew me back into the world, right away. I’m so psyched that we have a full season of this ahead of us! 

CHARACTER CHECK-INS

Like I said earlier, because this is the first episode back, I want to really quickly check in with all of the Bad Kids and where they are, character-wise. I’m going to do this roughly from least concerning to me to most concerning to me. 

-Adaine: Adaine seems like she’s living her best life. She has her frog! She has her dog! Her character art is so much more chill and she’s coming into her own. This season, I’m hoping we get to see more of her relationship with her sister (yes, I’m a predictable bitch. Sue me) and with Zayn (who is also living at Mordred in her tower) who I think has a lot of potential to be an interesting supporting character with more spotlight. But yeah, go Adaine! 

-Gorgug: Gorgug is making his parents proud (not that they ever weren’t) by taking another artificer level. He’s not a 7/3 Barb/Art split. I love that he’s gone from calling himself dumb to taking on this very technical skill. He also apparently has a homunculus? Fascinated to see what that looks like. 

-Riz: Now that his big investigation is over and he knows his dad is a cool secret agent, Riz has switched his subclass from Inquisitor to Arcane Trickster which means he’s got tons of gadgets and that he’s a ring guy now. Love that for him. He’s very much not a chill person though so I’m very curious to know what the next thing he’ll latch onto is. He the kind of guy who always need something going on, you know? 

-Fabian: Fabian is a fancy, dance boy now (6/4 Fighter/Bard)! But that doesn’t mean he’s any less athletic. I mean, have you ever seen a male ballerina? He still is, however, a total disaster. And I mean that affectionately. I mean, his current love interest (?) is a mirror that is showing a fuzzy reflection of his own face. My guy, what are you doing? Although I will say, idk if that’s more or less toxic than him dating Aelwyn. 

-Kristen: Kristen. GIRL. 

OK, so first of all. There is nothing inherently wrong with getting super jacked and like, respect. But in this context it feels like a red flag. Like the kind of thing you do because you’re on the rocks with your girlfriend or if you’ve recently broken up. I will be *very* interested to know what Tracker is up to as she’d not mentioned in this episode. Last we heard, she was out doing cleric stuff for the Moon Goddess, right? Long distance can be hell on a relationship. (Also, idk how seriously we’re supposed to take this but Ally mentioned the one shot it happened in in this episode so Kristen was also totally trying to flirt with a college girl in that college visit oneshot. Brennan shut it down pretty quick, but it very much did happen). 

Also, speaking of cleric stuff, Cass. I feel SO bad for Cass. Like, a god isn’t owed followers, but Kristen chose that role. She CHOSE it. This isn’t like a Helio situation. Cass wasn’t pushy. She specifically says in this episode that she doesn’t want to be pushy. Hell, she says in the episode where she’s introduced that if people don’t want her around she’ll go away. But Kristen chose to be her follower, knowing what the implications of being the sole follower of a goddess is. Cass is made in her image. That’s how deeply entwined they are. Her goddess is made in her image. In The Seven, we learn that Ost’s god hasn’t talked to anyone in years. Kristen has Cass coming in like a mom offering snacks mid battle and Kristen is leaving her on read! It’s honestly kinda hard to watch her be so blithely dismissive of someone so dependent on her even though it’s played off as kind of a joke. I felt like I was watching a loyal puppy get kicked every time they interacted. 

And like, I said this before, Cassandra is made in Kristen’s image. But specifically, she looks like Sophomore year Kristen. Still all skinny and still in her tie-die shirt and shorts. There is a definite vibe of almost wanting to kill the part of yourself that embarasses you, you know? It feels like she's being mean to Cass but also to herself. 

Also, mechanically speaking, it’s wild to be just ignoring the person you’re getting your powers from like this. Like, this is real Wizard behavior. You don’t have to answer to anyone if you studied for your magic but you absolutely do as a cleric. Does Kristen even want to be a cleric? It honestly doesn’t seem like it. She’s shown a pattern of behavior of chafing at every god put in her path, even the ones she literally made up. I thought Cass might be the end of her searching, but we’re right back on the Merry Go Round. The party absolutely needs a healer though so idk how she deals with that. 

I saw the snipped clip of Ally’s interview about Kristen’s arc this season involving what happens when chaos stops being cute, and I can def see seeds being planted. Fascinated to see how they explore that because this feels like a real ticking time bomb of a situation. 

Oh also, her Dex went DOWN????? GIRL!

Fig: I had a lot more to say about Kristen but Fig has to be last on the list for making a deal with a literal devil lol. Like, classic Fig though, right? This WOULD happen. Emily talked about potentially retiring Fig and getting reeled in by some enticing plot hook from Brennan and it feels like we might be about to find out what that is. I won’t speculate on it too much right now because we’re presumably about to find out but there were a LOT of yogurt themed adjectives when that magic activated which has me very split on whether this is about to be deeply concerning or deeply silly. Or both! It could be both! 

Random Thoughts

I LOVE that we have a proper theme song now. It feels so fitting and I love the opening art and it’s all so cool. The show’s so profesh now!

Also, shout out to @caitmayart for making the new art! It has the quality of a professional and the extra love of a fan. It’s my fave D20 official art so far. 

I don’t know when this feature was added but I love that there is a full transcript you can pull up and search and jump to that time in the video now. That’s gonna be SO useful for me. 

One of my favorite things about Adaine is that she’s generally polite but occasionally she’ll just absolutely verbally decimate someone so casually and this episode she said to the Solesian Yorbie they encountered, “What movie theater were you assistant managing before you decided to become a Yorbie?” Brutal. 

Also love how vehement she was about the fact that Brennan couldn’t touch Moggy, even when she went down. You are absolutely NOT gonna kill that dog Brennan.  

“Object interaction, touch Gorgug’s foot.”

Fig asks Gorgug how they can heal a van and he says, “Take it to a shop for 3-4 days.” Zac, underrated comic genius. 

I really can’t overstate how funny it is that Fabian spends most of this episode flirting with his own reflection. I’ve said this many times but something I love about Lou is that he’s not afraid to make Fabian deeply uncool, even though Fabian’s whole thing is being as cool as possible. 

Kristen says she needs to have an intense conversation with Cassandra when the fight is over and what does that mean? Like a breakup conversation? Which I guess would kill her because then she’d have no followers again? I am, como se dice, concerned. 

Also, just looking ahead, Tracker is also a cleric. A pretty faithful one from what I can tell. I have to wonder what her take on Kristen completely neglecting her goddess and church is. 

I think it’s so funny that Emily was thinking about retiring Fig so she could just ride off into the sunset with her cool rockstar life and awesome girlfriend because Riz’s big thing last year was being worried all his friend would pair up and leave him so for him to accept it and then have his fears validated right away would be like, welp. 

At a certain point, Murph has to roll damage and he rolls 45 out of a possible 50 damage. That’s crazy. Let’s see how long that luck holds.

[unsleepingtales]

Happy holidays from all of us here on fantasy high tumblr.

Coming back to the top having just finished the ep. I feel insane. ANYWAY.

Our name is ally brennan beardsley mulligan!!

I AM FRIENDS WITH PETE WENTZ FROM FALL OUT BOY WHO IS WANDA CHILDA’S (RECENT) EX BOYFRIEND???????

Ok glad we’re talking about spies tongue curse. Bc what was that

Oh my god this episode is three hours long

Sklonda what’s your goal here bestie

I’m really distracted rn so not many notes are being taken I’m definitely gonna have to rewatch this episode over the weekend

But god all the soil stuff is weird

Something in his office??? Something like maybe the mirror where baron first appeared??

Yeah just throwing energy into external things to avoid feeling your own feelings. Is a thing that happens.

THANK YOU RIZ please please talk about the students freaking out

Oh godddddd the soil it all comes back to minerals and soil somehow ok

Diamondized blood 😭

I love tired Adaine she’s trying her bestttt

Goddd the bad girls are everything to me. They are every triad ever.

You’re giving the identity spell a stroke guys

Holy SHIT Beardsley

Oooooooh DOME COLOR CHANGE

Saint Kristen Applebees motherfuckers

Okay that’s horrifying!

Ok so that was fun

Zac is SO smart

‘Gorgug….. so good’

Godly whale fall……… Zac Oyama your mind

It’s like burning man 😭

Burning Man as Whale Fall. Maybe I’ll write the paper.

Planeshift is a spell guysssss you have used it before

The way he talks to her makes her mad!!!!!

Cassandraaaaaaaaaa

Gorgug <3

Your enemy the beekeeper!

THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT IT

Yeah Fabian probably does not want to go to Aelwyn’s house

Riding a scooter. Classic Adaine.

Devastating.

OOF

Yeesh.

Yeah the last friends Aelwyn had we’re not good!

🚨🚨 ZAYN MENTION 🚨🚨 Zayn my best friend Zayn Darkshadow 🖤🖤🖤

Brennan’s physicality as Aelwyn is so funny

Aelwyn and Fabian leave it alone!!! Don’t!!

What? No! No! What? What? What? No!

One thing about Ally Beardsley is they’re gonna talk about Joe Biden.

They’re good crimes? You’re having fun with the crimes? Come do crimes with us!

Aelwyn librarian era??

Holy shit Emily

What the fuckkkkkk

Absolute dream terrorist Figueroth Faeth

Gertie my beloved!

Dark red honey oooh

Kristen x Gertie let’s goooooo

HELLO????????

OKAY I GUESS THATS HAPPENING FANTASTIC LOVE THAT FOR BOTH OF THEM

Also that makes Gertie campaigning for Kipperlilly 100x funnier

Whattttttt

I need fic. STAT.

Yayyyy a bit of financial breathing room for Riz

Mazey!

My mind’s still back in the cafeteria I can’t wait to see fantasy high tumblr’s response to Kristen and Gertie

Do NOT get tracker. NO.

Oooh so we finally have info on the bylaws

Where did you get wanda childa’s resume???????

He’s really committed to the neck tattoo thing huh.

They’re all so good. They’re just good.

Gorgug!!!!

THEY FINALLY REALIZED!!!!

We’ve been sooooooo intense about it I wasn’t even sure if they had realized lol

Ok! Nephew. Interesting.

Henry helped build Grix. Ok.

Henryyyyyyyyy

God we can’t trust any of the teachers really. That’s so depressing.

God if only you could actually just go let’s end the meeting right there every time you were uncomfortable

The ENTIRE family is going yeah

THEYRE BRINGING ZAYNNNNNNNN

I’m so glad they’re bringing Zayn my best friend in the world Zayn Darkshadow

His art makes me so fucking happy.

Ooh good thinking Siobhan

Telemaine oh boy

Oh god

Gilear time!!!!

(haunted and suspicious)

Awww she called him dad

Sometimes Brennan just says shit

He really had to get rid of the puppy fast

She killed my god- NO- fine. She helped my god die.

That actually makes so much sense. Once things are good after they’ve been bad for ages you don’t know who you are without the bad things

It’s me fig! From the phone!

(all talking at once about Kristen’s kisses)

What

What??

Babe how could we not clown

RIZBERT

We could have been calling you rizbert this entire time

WHAT????

Telemaine leave Riz alone

RUVINA?????? Winter in fallinel for the first time in eons????? Ruvina maybe??

Oh yeah the name of the religion is literally wolfSONG

Fantasy Hamilton

It’s so funny that they’re calling her bee girl bc there’s an npc named bee boy in my current campaign that we all love SO much

Aelwyn. Babe.

Gorgug white knuckling the railing to avoid Telemaine

There is NOT an option for under 18s on any kink dating app

Sandra Lynnnnnnnn I would be so good to you you don’t even know

Okay but wasn’t Gilear cursed way before he put the armor on???? This is what keeps tripping me up. Gilear’s life was like this before.

My only daughter in the world 😭😭😭

Fig. Fig honey. That’s not. That’s.

Fig and Sandra Lynn. They fuck me up so bad.

Sandra Lynn Faeth the woman that you are………….

Zayn is coming to the church! Zayn Darkshadow my best friend in the world!!!

SPY’S TONGUE

Ohhhhhhhh okay

I love that it’s canon that Aelwyn and Zayn are wizard buddies who worked for Kalina together

Using devil’s nectar too much causes you to to believe your own lies. Fabulous.

Divinity is so weird

Name heist?

Winter Break! I believe in you!!

Kristen. Kristennnnnn

Narnia Burning Man 😭

Oh god

Oh god!

She will be risen!

It is SO cold

OUCH

Guys what the hell is going on

Yeah of COURSE she’s deeply bothered. Kristen is doing the same thing to her that she did earlier. They bother each other. They need each other to understand.

This kills me. This kills me so deeply.

Ohhh thank you for thinking about Ruvina

They’re BEST FRIENDS

They’re rolling initiative to decide who goes first in secret sylvan. I’m gonna fucking cry.

ADAINE THATS SO SWEET

Fabian. Fabian this is actually so nice. Please think about this. It will make them not attack you. Adaine wanted to help you with your fear.

Fabian we know you can give good gifts

Murph is running a tight ship on secret sylvan

(attempted tearing noises)

That’s actually really nice

They’re tactical!!!!!!

I love this so much

That’s so nice oh my god Kristen you know Riz so well

They love each other so much

GORGUG HAD FIG IN SECRET SYLVAN. Be still my figgorgug heart.

Brennan stopppppppppp

The intense zoom on Ally doing this.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Is she like me.

Zaynnnnnnn

Sorry I’m incredibly not normal about Zayn Darkshadow I’m sure you couldn’t tell from how I react when he has .5 seconds of screen time

Girl WHAT

God they’re good

Riz Gukgak!!

IS THIS WHERE CASSANDRA WAS MARRIED

Dig bitch!

Oooooooooooh baby

Adaine I love you

Oh fuck oh god oh fuck

Zayn nooooooooo

Oh god why

KRISTEN

The idea of watching the moon get fuller is really cool

Oh god

MIRRORS?

Somehow I completely forgot baron was in this episode. I was so distracted I forgot what was coming.

Awww Cassandra is protecting her paladin

Oh my god this is insane

Oh no oh no oh no

Don’t break a mirror don’t do that not right now not here

Oh my god?????

They’re married <3

BARON HELPING??!

BARON ART BARON ART BARON ART

Is Zayn okay :(

You can’t ALL go in the briefcase can you???

WARDING BOND 😭😭😭😭 oh my god I can’t handle that

Death bond <3

What the fuckkkkkkkkk

Hello???????

NAT 20 DEX SAVE FROM KRISTEN APPLEBEES

Where the fuck are they.

Ooooh fig’s bedroom art!

How did this happen.

BARON MINI NEXT WEEK

[endlessly-cursed]

Primrose Gray’s Legacy, Act One, The Younger Years, Chapter Six: One Last Name

A/N: After a long block, I finally came around and finished this!! This chapter is as hilarious as it is angsty and cute. Enjoy!! 

Summary: Primrose’s mother summons her on a weekend to Winbourne, and when she finds out the reasin why, she cannot just accept it. But she can get rid of it with womanly wits. 

OCs featured: Henry of Alderly, Malcolm & Estelle Stolberg-Burke ( @gaygryffindorgal​ ) William Devlin ( @unfortunate-arrow​ ) 

OCs mentioned: William Devlin (more mentioned than featured tbh) Siobhan Llewellyn ( @kc-and-co​ ) (briefly) 

Warnings: Angst, mentions of inbreeding and being part of the nobility

Word Count: 3.0k 

Taglist: @gaygryffindorgal​ @nicos-oc-hell​ @camillejeaneshphm​ @hphmmatthewluther​ @catohphm​ @thatravenpuffwitch​ @magicallymalted​ 

Easter had fallen upon the castle, and many spoke of how excited they were for seeing their families for two weeks before coming back for their exams. Primrose had been among them when she rose, but the moment her mother sent her the awaited letter, everything changed.

To my dearest daughter,

Easter is almost upon us, and having you back home is a joy that no words in any language could my heart express.

This Easter is special, for these holidays we have an important guest: your dear cousin, George Barton, who just turned ten and five and has been looking forward meeting you. He is the son of my beloved aunt and godmother, and a gentleman whose reputation is beyond reproach.

I have sent you a dress in which I want you to dress in during your journey back home. I expect you to be on your best behaviour, for impressing this man is capital for us. I’m afraid we’ll have to postpone your friends coming over for another time. This is family business.

I also advise that we hush about Hogwarts. During his stance here, you are studying in Switzerland and just came back.

Your most loving and affectionate,

Mother.

Primrose moaned as a complain of having to impress a toot. Henry noticed and looked at her, questioning what had happened. Not hungry anymore, they headed towards the gardens. Malcolm noticed them and waved them.

“Come join us, Prim!” Estelle cried.

They obliged and Primrose barely touched her toast. Estelle raised an eyebrow “You seem preoccupied.”

“Yeah,” Henry followed “what is it?”

“Your secret’s safe with us.” Malcolm assured.

Primrose sighed and handed them the letter. Malcolm read it aloud and Henry squeezed her hand. “That sounds suspicious. Why so keen on impressing a cousin?”

“Estelle,” Malcolm warned his sister.

“I’m with Estelle,” Henry concluded “your mother’s matchmaking campaign isn’t over.”

Primrose’s eyes widened and felt a lump on her throat “But… he is my cousin!” She cried, horrified by the idea.

“You wouldn’t be the first one to marry her cousin.”

“I’m afraid that’s true. For what I’ve seen in History of Magic, it is a common practise still.”

“Not only in history, but here. The Gaunts have inbreeding practises still. And they’re not the only ones.” Estelle added.

Primrose cringed at the idea and fanned herself, trying not to throw up out of disgust. Estelle and Henry quickly fanned her as well as Malcolm waved his wand and his cup of water was now cold enough. Primrose gulped it all rather unladylike and sighed “Thank you, Mal.”

“No problem. Cold water is good for cooling off disgust. You were starting to turn green.”

Henry and Estelle giggled and Primrose covered her face in her hands, moaning again in despair “Maybe I can say that I am bedridden because of Flying class?”

They all laughed as Primrose whined, knowing that this dinner had no escape.

Saturday had come, and Vincent Gray was on his way to pick up his daughter. If he wasn’t thrilled at all, he didn’t show it. Instead, he kissed his daughter’s forehead and smiled at her “Look on the positive side: if you get bored, you can fake food poisoning and retreat earlier.”

Primrose looked at her father curiously “And how does one do it?”

Vincent smirked “Get into the carriage and I’ll happily teach you.”

William was there to bid her goodbye, and he had to kiss her hand “I hope you have a pleasant holiday and that we can see each other soon,” he said, as it had been requested by the viscounts and rehearsed.

Primrose, with an equally rehearsed smile, inclined her head towards him in thank you and turned to get into the carriage with his help.

“Take care of yourself, William, and remember my advice.”

He only nodded before drifting off to his dorm. He’d be picked by the viscountess later.

As the carriage passed the magical barriers, Primrose, with her blue navy riding habit, looked at her father “I believe that you were about to tell me how I could fake food poisoning. I hope it does not require actual poison.”

Vincent smiled knowingly “Leave that to your dear father.”

As they arrived, Primrose had been asleep after a thorough class on food poisoning and was clueless of the receiving she was about to get. Vincent had an eagle’s eyes and soon woke up his daughter and applied the water spell to wash off the sleep off her face and straightened out her dress.

The door opened and all of her servants curtsied to her in line as her mother, the Dowager Duchess Olympia and a tall, blonde boy around her age stood there, arrogance in his eyes. Beatrice soon put an apron on the muddy floor as Vincent helped his daughter off the carriage and Beatrice cried out “Lady Primrose Sabrina Gray, Heiress of Winbourne!”

The boy in question didn’t wait for her to come to him and kissed her hand. He was around fifteen or seventeen and had a sneer on his face “My lady. Your generosity knows no bounds, though I expected you to be taller.”

Primrose, having been in her friend Siobhan’s influence, had to bite off a sarcastic comeback and simply smiled as she curtsied “My lord. You honour me with your presence.”

“Indeed.” Vincent said, a sarcastic tone on his face “We are much obliged to host you here.”

“Of course you are.” He smirked.

Primrose was not a violent woman, but a slap for his arrogance would’ve been gratifying. She simply greeted her mother and great-aunt. The old Olympia squeezed her cheek and smiled “What a handsome young girl you are! You shall be the bane of many men’s existences.”

“You honour me, Your Grace.”

“Oh, dearest, call me aunt!”

She nodded as they went to take tea and Primrose went to change her riding habit to a baby blue dress and her hair in semi-collected hairdo and applied eau de cologne with the smell of primroses. She went down the stairs and Beatrice mouthed good luck before she entered the room. There, Olympia smiled “My grandson George is just a jewel of a boy, is he not?”

“Indeed. A man of respectable wealth, looks, lands and reputation.”

“How do you like your tea, dear cousin?”

Primrose almost spilled out her cup of water “Pardon?”

Olympia cried “Hasn’t your mother told you? I was the sister of your late grandfather, and godmother of your mother! Oh, Vicky, you and your secrets…”

Primrose’s heartbeat dropped as she looked at her mother in despair. Her mother smiled “Surprise, dear!”

She stood up to leave and lock herself in a room, but the moment her feet touched the ground, she fainted. She could only hear her mother crying out for a doctor before she gave into the darkness.

Three hours later, she woke up, and Vincent covered her in kisses, trying to supress tears falling from his eyes. Beatrice started fanning her and Primrose thanked her before throwing a pillow to her father.

“Primrose! To what do I owe this behaviour?!” He cried, equally surprised and hurt by the hatred in his daughter’s eyes.

“Did you know?! That we are cousins?!”

“I’m afraid so, dearest.”

“And you’re alright with it?! Does Viscount Carlisle know that you’re trying to throw him under the train?!” She demanded, in a higher voice than it was proper.

“He does not, and neither did I till I came to fetch you at Hogwarts. Beatrice told me—,”

She turned around violently towards her lady’s maid and cried out “You knew?!”

Beatrice turned red in shame and bit her lip, nodding “Your mother’s maid told me via letter and I…”

“You what?! Kept quiet without telling me?!”

“Primrose—,”

“Get out! All of you!” She screamed, her cheeks burning hot, her heart going fast and breathing hard, trembling with rage. They all obliged and left, and Primrose hid her face in a pillow as she cried and screamed into it. She yelled many times that she would not go to the dinner, and stayed that way during all Friday night.

On Saturday morning, Primrose had woken up from the third time, and the day was about to begin. Putting on some petticoats and boots, she used the vines from her window to sneak out and ran towards the stables and soon picked her beloved horse, Ledger, and soon set off to the forest, riding for a long time. The wind in her hair, in the early morning, where the birds had woken with her and not even the milkman was to be heard with his cries, Primrose soon stopped her horse when she saw that she had reached the limits of her estate.

Spotting a tree with many fresh apples, she saddled her horse and climbed the tree, picking several apples. She bit into the red one and sighed, trying to get off her image the nightmares of waking up in a wedding dress and, when she went downstairs to fetch her mother, found herself in a church where everyone looked at her as George laughed at her. The third time she had that nightmare and woke up panting and barely breathing, she took off then.

Having eaten something, she closed her eyes as she enjoyed the early morning’s breeze and the chirping of the birds, the sound of being the first person to wake up in the morning.

She almost forgot about George and her mother’s attempts to replace poor William with her first cousin. Almost. When a baritone voice woke her from her inner peace “Excuse me, miss?”

She opened her eyes to find a man, about twenty, squinting his eyes as he asked “May I know why are you in my dominion? Are you lost? Where are your parents?”

She started stammering as she got down from the tree, some apples falling off her nightgown. She had never felt to bare and vulnerable. She started to clean off the crust and stepping back from the gentleman “I was—I was just leaving.”

“It’s alright, just tell me your name.”

“G-good day, sir!” She cried before mounting Ledger again and storming off the fields. She rode and rode as fast as she could, praying that she would not be followed. Suddenly, another neigh called her attention and she stopped in short, finding her own father in a full riding habit and with a worried expression. Primrose now felt truly doomed.

“Primrose Sabrina Gray!” He cried “Where on earth have you been! You left in the morning, no note, escaping from the window like a bandit, undressed and without an escort!” He had never raised his voice at her until now. Primrose’s eyes glassed, trying to collect herself “What if a bandit found you? He would’ve kidnapped you! He would’ve killed you, or—or… Godric, just why! What if I didn’t find you?! How could you be so—so reckless and stupid?!”

He finally his daughter’s silent weeping as she dismounted her horse, trembling of pure sadness and guilt, the hem of her nightgown full of detritus from trees and the horse grunting, feeling her owner’s pain. Vincent finally mellowed at such sight and dismounted his loyal horse as he dropped to his knees, hugging his daughter. She was quick to squeeze him in the hug and she muttered “I am sorry, Papa. I—I couldn’t sleep—and I had—I had nightmares and—and then—I rode off and—and and—,”

He covered the crown of her head in kisses “It’s alright, darling girl. You’re here, in my arms and safe, that’s all that matters.” He kissed her again and wiped her tears “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you—,”

“You were not. I deserved it.”

“Hey, hey! Look at me.” He cupped her small face into his hands “Never once think that you deserve to be disrespected or disregarded in any form by a man. Much less me. You’re a lady, and what’s more, you’re a human being, worthy of respect. Never tell me that you deserve to be yelled at or any sort of disrespect again. Alright? Now, come here, I’ll sneak you into the house and give you a bath before your mother realizes you’re not sleeping.”

“Will you ever forgive me?” She asked in a raspy voice.

He kissed her nose “I already had. The moment I saw you safe, I forgave you. And you? Do you forgive the poor sod of your father?

She hugged him tightly, and he allowed himself to be in his little girl’s arms for a while before going back to the estate.

After such a morning, Primrose dressed in beautiful violet tulle and brushed her hair, glad to have put all that behind. Of all the options she had been given, marrying someday William wasn’t as bad as her own cousin or a stuffy duke who’d be older than her. She was going to reject him in such a kind way, he couldn’t possibly be mad.

As lunch approached, the knock on her door let her know that the battle had begun, and she’d win it at any cost. She had learned from her aunt Alina that in the high society’s game, when you were a woman in power, it was either winning or winning. An example of it was the queen herself. She had won by being visible, quiet, patient and wise. And she would be no less. In these less bloodthirsty times, the cunning and intelligence was of great importance when it came to power, no matter how small it was.

Going down, she bowed to the respective guests and family members and sat down, wanting to look as innocent as ever, though, despite her tender age, she did catch up on some things quickly.

“Tell me, my little peony, do you enjoy poetry?” Dowager Duchess Olympia asked.

“Oh, very much! At my school, dearest Willie reads me some of it.”

George cleared his throat “Who?”

She looked at him with a clueless and innocent semblance “Why, my betrothed! Such a lovely boy, he is!”

Primrose didn’t care whether he was jealous or just pissed off that someone beat him at the game. He could choke on that feeling, whatever it was.

Vincent, catching up on what his daughter was doing, smiled “Oh, yes, little Will! Our little blossom just adores her future husband. William this, William that, he is just the perfect match for me, she says!”

Victoria’s eyes twitched with a fake smile “Ah, yes, a girl’s infatuation. Priceless feeling.”

“What infatuation, Mama? I already love him! You two picked the best man for me, honestly.”

Victoria hissed in her ear “Stop that now!”

She just smiled innocently at her guests. Olympia was uncomfortable, for she considered that a promise was a promise “And how long have you been promised to him?”

“Oh, a few months—,”

“Since she was but eight years old. She adored him already when they met, and he is very much charmed with her!” Vincent smiled proudly.

“That is rather a long time,” George observed. How Primrose wished she could photograph that moment.

“He is the love of my life, I can tell!” She smiled. Best to serve the cake now “How I wish to be Mrs. Devlin and give him dark-haired babies!”

Her father had to drink wine to hide his laughter “It shall pass, my girl.”

George was fuming, having got the hint that were he to propose, she’d say no, and Olympia was convinced that she loved that boy. Beatrice had to go to a servant’s hall to laugh in muffles.

It seemed like the Barton’s visit would be over in a few hours.

When saying goodbye to their visitors, she whispered to George when he wished her well “We may share one last name and family, but that will never be enough for me to ever become your wife.” She smirked and said in high voice “Thank you for your visit. You shall be missed!”

Some servants snickered and her father bit his lip. Victoria was displeased.

When they left, she said “To my office, Primrose. Now.”

With her head high, she followed her mother and sat with ladylike manner. She turned around “Since when do you have affections for that boy, hm?”

“He is a good boy and he treats me well.”

She scoffed “I am trying to rid you off a loveless engagement and you just hijack it!”

“And trapping me in another will make me happy by marrying my cousin?” She asked.

Victoria massaged her temple “I am buying you time. Engagements can be broken!”

“I am quite satisfied with my own.”

“That,” Victoria cried “is a farce! Everybody whispers how the Carlisle’s have tricked us into his little bastard marrying into the family!”

“Let them whisper. I’d rather be engaged to a good man than my blood cousin who happens to be a git.”

“Primrose,” Victoria warned.

“You talk of love, of how I will love the husband you choose for me. What about me? Can you not trust my decision? Or my criteria, just because I am young? Have you ever thought whether I want to begin my adult life married and carrying numerous children? No! You don’t, and never have. You just want me to follow your path, don’t you?”

Victoria raised her hand, but stopped in short when Primrose ducked in advance. A sepulchral silence haunted the room before Primrose left, not wanting to be in the same room as the woman who had wanted to slap her.

Hours later, she asked her father to take her back to Hogwarts. He agreed upon hearing why. And when she arrived in the dorm, she laid in her bed, trying not to cry before her classmates until it was very late. It’d be one of the few times Primrose ever stayed late.

[witchofinterest]

It’s my birthday! well, i’m making this post in advance, but i’m gonna post it on my birthday! i haven’t liked my birthday in years, but i love you all, so let’s talk about it!!! okays, it’s today! god, i love you all so much, and you’ve all given me a real sense of belonging and i wanna say thank you again! and if i somehow missed you, know i love you too, i just have a bad memory.

@foxesandmagic hey birthday twin!! yiu have lovely and you are so so nice i love any chance to converse with you!

@twinmasks you were the first person i was really friends with on here, and a big part of me feeling welcome in the community and i think you should know that! also, you are just so cool and talented, and i am always in awe of everything you say and make!

@nolanhollogay water sign besties! i adore you, it feels like we’ve been friends for 20 years allready! i hope we are friends for a lot longer, also you are one of the best people i know, and i want you to know that!!!!

@luucypevensie grace you are the sweetest girl ever!!!!!! ever!!!! you are sunshine in human form!! i love you so much!!! 💛💛💛

@whindsor hey nich!!!! i love you so much, you’re an excellent and amazing friend, and i adore you beyond words!!! god, i love you so much and i am so so proud of you, from your consistent updates to finishing your story!!!!! you put so much into life, and yiu deserve nothing but the best back!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@kazinejghafa keke my beloved!!!! you are like, a real life disney princess! i mean, birds should follow you around if they allready don’t! i love you! you always make me feel like: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💛💚❤️💛💙💛❤️🧡💛💚💚🧡🧡🧡🧡❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@ocfairygodmother you absolutely live up to your name! you are the backbone of this community and i couldn’t be more grateful to have you as a friend!!!

@anotherunreadblog you are the mutual!!! you are so nice, sweet, cool, talented, cultured, and i could keep going on forever! love you!! 💙

@darknightfrombeyond you are the cool, slightly intimidating because their so good, mutual!!! you are also one of my sweetest mutuals, with the coolest updates! you’ve got it all! love you! ^ _ ^

@water-writings hey mel!!!!! you are so sweet and supportive to everyone and your are so talented too and i love you!! and i am so happy your at a better job now!!!!! 💙

@elenapetrova hey tessa!!! god, we’ve been friends for so long now! this is the second birthday i’ve been your friend and i hope many more to come!!! you are so strong and so good and so so amazing!!! i love you a lot and i hope you know that!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@taylorswiftrulestheworld heather! we just started talking, but your really sweet and talented and i had to include you!!

@perhapspearl pearl!! hello friend!!! i love whenever you rb things, and wow your writing is so good, regardless of whether it’s for your wonderful ocs or canon! and you have a gift for gifs too!! you are wonderful and talented!!

@richitozier hey mara!!!! you are so cool and you have such good taste in like, everything, and you are so fun to interact with!!!! love you!! ❤️

@lizziesxltzmxn hey Ali!!!!! you are a beloved mutual and i love talking to you and i love when you update about the things your watching/reading/etc, bc i always love to hear your thoughts on things!!!!

@starcrossedjedis hey sara!!!!!!! you are one of my favorite people ever, and even if your going through a rough time right now, your still the best, and ill always believe in you! love you a lot!!

@aceyanaheim hey acey!!!! you have the coolest ideas and i am so excited whenever i see you in my notifications and on my dash!!!! i love you!!!

@wokenhardies hey Siobhan!!! taking with you is a treasure!!!!! in fact, your a treasure!!!! i love you a lot!!!

@squirrelstone Squirrel!!! my cherished friend!!! i love you and all of your creations so so much!!!!!!! also, you are just the best!!!!!! this site wouldn’t be the same without you in it and i am so glad your here!!!

@alghulnyssa hello Flop! you probably didn’t know many others on this list, but we’re buddies and i wanted to put you here! you have the best taste in so many things! and the prettiest edits!!! your last nyssa one lives rent free in my head! and you are part of the reason i made this blog! also, i am gonna to try to be on instagram more, im sorry.

@randomestfandoms-ocs hey maddie!!! ah, you are such a good friend and i love you so much!!!!!!!!!!! you are the sweetest and super talented!!! ❤️❤️💖💖💖💜💜💜💜💜

@iron-parkr hey Rory!!!!! i am super proud of you and how you handle all your responsibilities!!! all of your stories you have out are so good and i love them all! and even more, i love you!!!!

@myoc-eansmind hey sof!!!!!!!! we haven’t been friends for too long, but you are such a good one and i love you!!!! also, you are just the sweetest!

@nightwingshero hey jodeci!!!!! your writing is so so good!!!! and i love your ocs, they have such cool and unique storylines!!! also, you are so nice and cool!!!!!!! :)

@ceruleanmusings mack!!!!! hello friend!!!!! i swear, reading anything you write is an absolute privilege i’m glad you allow!!! also, talking to yiu is always a highlight of my day!!! 💙💙💙

@raging-violets hey Ri!! Hey Rhu!!! god i love you both so so much!!!!!! from bonding over to shared interests to learning about things like narnia! being your friend is so so good!!! riley i admire your confidence in life! rhuben i admire your ability to never give up! and i love both of you so much!!!

@ben-bcrnes hey becca!!! you are so passionate about so many things and i love seeing you on my dash!!! ❤️❤️❤️

@stanshollaand hey!!! your blog and your ocs are so so cool, and even there only half as cool as you are!!! i hope to interact more in the future bc your awesome!!!

@cecesxwickedxocs hey cece!!! you are one of the most creative people i know!!!!!!! also, i love hearing about how your days going and your interests!!!

@fiercefray rachel my beloved!!!! i love you so so much!!!!!! you always come up with the coolest stuff for your ocs, and you have so many awesome interests!!!! and behind that, i just really love you a lot!!!!

@inkoutsidethelines ink!!!! hey buddy!!!!!!!!!!! you are so so amazing!!!! i love learning about you and your ocs and i hope to more!!!!

@padmeisqueen aaron!!!!!! we don’t talk a lot and i hope to change that, but from what i know you are super sweet and nice and make the prettiest aesthetics!!!!!

@the-october-reviewer hey ash!!! it’s been a minute, but if course you’d be on this post!!!! we’ve been friends for about 2 years now, if i’ve done my math correctly, and it’s been amazing!!!!! i love you so much, and i always love hearing about what’s caught your eye!

@pock-galliard sairaid!!! you are so cool and i love seeing all your posts on my dash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@codenamekryptonite V!!!!! hey, love. it’s been a minute since we’ve talked, but i love you so so much, so i had to our you in this post!!!!!! you are such a good person and i love you and your ideas so so much!!!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@superspookyjanelle hey janelle!!! you put out so much quality content and i admire you so much for it!!!!

@ofbadcharacters hey gabbie!! idk if you still check your blog, but i love and miss you, and you made me feel so welcome last year, i had to include you in this post!! you are such a good friend and i really miss you! love you! ❤️

@phoebestarks hey phia!!!!!! you have the best, super intricate plots and i am constantly in awe!!!! also, you are so nice to converse with!!!

@whctsherncme-archive hey madi! you de-activated, bir i love you and you belong on this list!!!! you were such a good friend with the best ideas and i miss talking to you, and you, so much!

@mystic-scripture gwen!!!! it’s been a minute since we’ve talked, but we’re friends!!!!! i love you and your ocs so much! you always knock it out of the park from the mcgrath clan to alex!!!!! your so good!!!!

@avengiers hey ari!!!!!!!! you are so so cool, and everything you make is so so pretty, and i just wanted to tell you that!

@shanaoharas hey dylan! you stopped using this account, but i wanted to include this bc we were good friends! and i have been meaning to catch up on your excellent stories! love you a lot!!!!

@cassercole hey lizzie, you are no longer with us, but i didn’t manage to make this post when you were like i meant to, so I wanted to add you. you were the first oc creator i followed (first account, actually) and you always made me so welcome in everything! you introduced me to so many things i love and i really miss you.

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 85

Chapter Summary -  Danielle and Tom wake up after finally being able to sleep properly again, but the day is anything but easy.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @damalseer​ @hiddlesbitch1​ @winterisakiller​ @fairlightswiftly​ @salempoe​​ @wolfsmom1​​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom woke after sleeping soundly for the first time in over a week. Danielle was curled up against him, her fingers gripping his t-shirt as she seemed adamant to keep him next to her.

They had enjoyed their meal in the pub, it was as delicious as she had said it would be, their conversation, since they had discussed the serious matters in the car, was light-hearted and pleasant; Tom telling her about Milan and some of the clothes he had seen and Danielle telling him of what occurred in Ireland during her time there.

He shifted slightly and Danielle groaned, her head getting tucked in more next to his shoulder. "That is not an overly comfortable place to be." He smiled.

"I beg to differ, it's a great place to be."

"How long are you awake?" Tom questioned, noticing her sleep was neither slurred nor half incoherent as it tended to be immediately after she woke.

"A few minutes."

"You said nothing."

"I didn't want to, I just wanted to relax like this."

"I can relate." Tom looked around the room, it was dated, but in an antique manner. "So this is your grandparents' house?"

"Yep, my dad was born in this room."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm, my aunts and uncle too."

"Wow, what about the hospital?"

"Tom, the nearest hospital is over an hour away in Galway, my grandparents didn't have a car, my dad would have been starting school by the time she'd have walked there." Tom chuckled next to her. "It was the done thing, you had them at home with a neighbour helping."

"You said your grandparents were farmers?"

"Yeah, the farm sheds are mostly gone, but there are a few outhouses left. The fields were sold by Nan so she'd be able to keep the house after granddad died, hence why this little acre is going to be worth a pittance." She stretched. "I better get ready for the auctioneers actually." she made to move but Tom stopped her, his cerulean blue eyes filled with lust. "Tom, we can't," she warned; her voice a whisper. The night before they had been tired on their return from the airport and their stop for dinner meant they were late getting back, so they stripped to their underwear and had fallen asleep quickly.

"I know," He acknowledged, Danielle had warned him that the walls were thin at best and her cousin was in the next room and she knew her aunt would be there soon. It was one thing to be in a bed together, something she knew Bernadette would be angered by anyway, but if they were heard doing anything, that would only cause issues. "But you know what we have not done in a week?" Danielle's brows furrowed. "I have not kissed you." he leant over her, looking for permission to kiss her silently.

"If we do, will you control yourself?" She asked quietly.

"I have little choice." leaning up, she pressed her lips to his, a sensual moan escaping her as she did so. "Okay, enough; I can't, not if you are making noises like that, if you are going kiss me like that, I will…" Tom pulled back.

"Yes, I can feel that." She grinned, implying she could feel a very hard and eager appendage on her thigh.

"You can hardly blame me, I have you back." He smiled, looking down at her before his face went solemn. "I am so sorry about…"

"It's done." Tom's brow furrowed. "Though next time we have an argument, don't try and use sex as a Band-Aid."

"I wasn't trying to, I just wanted to show you how much I love you." He explained. "I hope there isn't a 'next time'."

"We will argue Tom," She scoffed, he toyed with his hair, "We just need to deal with it better."

"I like how you say 'we'." He smiled. "So many people, myself included, can be unable to look at their actions."

"No one is perfect Tom."

"I come fairly close though, right?" He joked.

"Maybe to some of your crazier fans, but I know you better." Danielle kissed him again. "I better get up for the auctioneer."

"This room is cosy," Tom commented, watching as Danielle got some clothes out of her suitcase.

"This whole house is really, wait until you see everything. We came in in darkness, you have not seen it properly yet." she grinned.

Curiosity got the better of him and Tom got out of bed too. "I know this might seem vain, but your cousin…"

"Yes, she was staring at your ass yesterday," Danielle laughed.

"You aren't…"

Danielle tied the button of her jeans and zipped them up before coming over and cupping one of Tom's ass cheeks. "Well, it just happens I am with the man that won 'rear of the year', I have to accept that that can mean girls are going to be staring at your ass from time to time. I am also aware that a considerable amount of people are somewhat interested in the this," She snaked her hand to his crotch, "And you, in general."

"Out of curiosity, is it a dislike of doing anything in your grandmother's house in general or when others are here."

"The former," Tom swore. "You sound like someone who is going to suffer 'blue balls'," she scoffed.

"I may just, I have my sexy girlfriend and a desperate want to show her in a very thorough manner, just how much I care for her in every way." He said in a sexy voice.

Danielle was about to say something else when raised voice caught their attention. "The hell?" Tom finished putting on his pants and she opened the door, as soon as she listened to the no longer muffled voices, she groaned. "Bernadette is back."

"Your aunt?" Danielle nodded. "Was she supposed to be gone?"

"Herself and her husband Kevin were supposed to come back this morning after dropping Laura and Richard to Galway," Danielle told him. "Jesus, this is going to be fifty shades of bullshit now, she is going to be an absolute bitch." More arguing began, causing Danielle to listen to the words being spoken. "Oh?"

"Elle?"

"You know what, I think we better go down." Tom looked at her in confusion, "Laura needs saving."

"I thought you didn't really like her."

"I don’t have anything in common with her and we are not close, but I don't dislike her and right now, she needs someone to take some attention off her," Danielle explained. Unsure why Danielle was being so kind as to allow herself be a scapegoat, Tom tied his shoes and walked out the door behind her, on hearing what an older woman was effectively shouting at her daughter, he immediately agreed with Danielle's choice to go downstairs.

"And where is he in all of this, or is there even a he?" Bernadette demanded of her oldest daughter.

"There probably is a he, otherwise we've got the second coming happening in Galway, fuck Mayo and their beloved sighting of our Lady in Knock." Danielle scoffed walking into the sitting room. "And could you keep it down, there are people on Croagh Patrick that can probably hear you."

"You keep out of this," Bernadette warned.

"I would believe me, only as someone with a background in a medical field, I know the damage to the health of a pregnant woman that stress can cause, but you are being so loud it is involving me and you are making a holy show of yourself, which is utterly embarrassing for me."

"What embarrassment to you, this is nothing to do with you?" Bernadette dismissed. A moment later, Tom entered the room, doing his best to seem unphased by the horrible atmosphere and demeanour. "Who is he? Some hitchhiker you found on the side of the road last night I suppose."

"Yeah, I thought it wise to bring a random stranger home with me," Danielle stated sarcastically. "This is my boyfriend, his name is Tom and I can say here and now that though his family has never been anything but lovely to me, you have, in thirty seconds, embarrassed yourself in front of him, from your manner or lack thereof to your daughter, me and indeed him, so cheers for that anyway Bernie, and if you have nothing better to say or do, I would ask that you talk and not yell as we are all in the one house, which, though you seem to think is the size of Kilkenny Castle is actually a small farm cottage, so you know, we can hear you." Danielle walked into the kitchen, not saying any more to her family as her aunt stared at her in anger, her uncle looked at Tom as if wondering how he had not noticed the other man in the time they had been at the cottage, while Laura, who had been upset, stared at him as she tried to recognise how she knew him.

Tom, who felt incredibly awkward, gave a small nod of his head and walked into the kitchen after her. "She's as lovely as you described," Danielle said nothing. "Elle?"

"I'm sorry," She gave him a smile that was more of a grimace. "I literally look like I come from absolute mud."

Tom put his arms around her, "No, you warned me about your aunt and I met Siobhan and spoke to Richard who are both normal, well, Siobhan is a tad mental, but she is a nice person, so I know that you come from a normal family, but every family has that one person, they are not always a snob, but there is something about them that makes them less than pleasant," he kissed her head. "Though she's a special case on many levels."

"You have no idea." Danielle groaned.

"This house is gorgeous." Tom looked around. "Exactly everything I imagined a small farming homestead to be."

"Look out the window." Danielle pulled the curtain back. The design of the house meant Tom had to stoop down, the way he inhaled confirmed Danielle's idea of how he would take it. "That's why I love it here."

"Now I understand why you moved to Suffolk."

"It is a lot like here."

"Did you live nearby?"

"Not too far, a few kilometres away, a bit closer the water."

"Will you bring me there?"

"If you want, today is fairly full-on, but we will have to get a few bits, so we can pass it on the way to the shops." Danielle smiled before sensing someone in the doorway, looking around, she saw Laura. "You okay?"

"Thank you."

"Where's your Mam?"

"Gone to the car to call Uncle Richard that you have some 'dirty Brit' staying in Nan's room with you."

"Well then, at least you're not the only slut for the laundry." Danielle winked.

"Were those things actually real?" Tom asked, horrified.

"Yes, they were," Danielle informed him, causing Tom to shiver. "Tom, this is Siobhan's sister Laura, Laura, this is my boyfriend, Tom." Danielle introduced them to one another. Laura waved from the doorway. "How far along…?"

"Ten weeks, I thought I wasn't suffering too badly so I could come, but she went snooping my bag and found my folic acid and my appointment card," Laura explained.

"Bitch," Danielle growled. "What's your plan now?"

"I rang Julia, she's coming to collect me, Evan is going to meet me in Galway."

"Good, look after yourself, forget your Mam, you've someone else more important that needs you." Danielle smiled.

"Are you okay, mum is going for you in this thing."

Danielle winked at her, "I can handle Bernie, I have my dad's stubbornness and my mam's bitchiness."

"She always hated your mum."

"The feeling, I can assure you, was mutual."

Laura gave another small wave. "I am going to flee while she is on the phone having a conniption." She turned to see someone behind her. "Hey."

"Ready, I have the kids in the car?"

"Yeah, thanks, Julie."

"No problem, who is…?"

"Danielle and her boyfriend."

"Danielle has a...?" As another one of Danielle's cousin's poked her head in the door, her face turned to one of shock. "TOM HIDDLESTON!"

"Who?" Laura looked at Tom again.

"You…but…Danielle…Him…"

"Yes, he is Tom Hiddleston," Danielle confirmed.

"You are going out with Tom Hiddleston, you, Danielle, my cousin?"

"Yes." Danielle nodded.

"How?"

"I lived next door to his mother, we know each other a few years."

"You never said anything," Julia stated indignantly.

"In all fairness, who'd have believed me?" Danielle laughed. Julia continued to stare. "You're married with kids." Danielle reminded her. That did not stop Julia from staring. "Go, before your Mam is off the phone." Danielle encouraged.

"Wait, so he is famous, my mind isn't messing with me?" Laura asked.

Danielle sighed. "You literally asked Siobhan two days ago if she would see the new Kong movie with you."

"Wait, he's THAT actor…how did you…?"

Danielle shook her head. "As you can see," She turned slightly, Tom still had his hand on her waist, "my extended family thinks so much of me."

"But you're normal," Laura said, as though it was some type of defence.

"Well, I feel special." Danielle scoffed. "Thank you both, you are so good for the old confidence."

"But, he was with Taylor Swift…"

"Yes, was, now I have upgraded, substantially." Tom smiled politely, bringing Danielle closer to him.

"You have all the luck," Julia growled.

"Yes, I do." Danielle grinned. "Now, we are coming again soon so if you want a proper conversation, we'll meet then, as for now, you need to leave."

She's right, come on." Julia insisted, ushering Laura to the door. "You alright to handle Bernie?"

"I'm Mattie Hughes's daughter."

"Uncle Mattie always kept her in her box."

"Now it's my turn." Julia went outside, a cold comment to Bernadette as she did.

"She'll be in in a second," Danielle sighed.

Tom kissed her head, "You're able for her." Danielle gave a non-committal noise, "Will they say anything?"

"Does it really matter?" She heard Bernadette coming in. "Here we go." She inhaled deeply.

"In my mother's room." She began in disgust.

"Well, you want to sell the house so if me having my boyfriend in her room is a desecration to her, your going against her command to not sell this house will have her turning in her grave."

"Your father would be sickened."

Danielle felt her pulse race, "Yes he would, that his sister would think she can decide for the whole family what is to happen because she wants more money, a woman that doesn't know a days work getting up her own arse and for what, to keep up with people that wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire." She spat. "My dad would only care that I am happy and three seconds in Tom's company and I know he and Mam would be delighted. You hated dad, though that means nothing, you hate everyone, and now your daughter is having a baby that will have to realise that you are a twisted bitch too, so just go and get a loan like the rest of us and leave nan's alone."

"I will do no such thing you little tramp," Bernadette hissed, "And it's going to happen, so you better get out of the way."

"I can't actually, I have a realtor on his way." Bernadette's eyes bulged. "Oh, didn't Uncle Richard tell you? I am getting the house looked at, so it can get a proper assessment. I know you had your friend's son give a price, which I know it is fifty thousand over market value for anything in the area, so I am having a guy from McCarthy's in Galway take a look at it to make sure anything that any assessment given is a proper one." Bernadette looked at her in disgust. "So, you can stay or go, but I am staying, and I am getting it priced honestly. Then we will get back to you about it."

Bernadette looked to Tom, "What are you even bothering with her for?"

"Well personally, I find Elle to be a beautiful, intelligent and wonderful person to be around, my family adore her and in truth, I find her strength and independence to be exceptionally alluring."

"Too many big words for her there," Danielle warned. "Tea?"

"Please, darling." He smiled back. "Is there any porridge?" the pair began readying their breakfast as Bernadette became more enraged at their lack of attention to her and stormed off. "Luke will have heart failure with you yet."

"I know, I am worried for him."

"Are you serious you want too…?"

"Yes," She confirmed. Tom smiled at her lovingly. "You're all clear." At that, he frowned.

A moment later, Siobhan snuck out of the back room that held the washing machine. "Phew, so what are we having for breakfast?" She asked walking over, before turning to Tom "Ooh, is Chris single?"

"He's married, remember." Danielle reminded her.

"This is Marvel, there are about thirty guys called Chris." She retorted.

[kickthecan-revolution]

I just realized my first meeting isn’t until 10am. As I was getting ready to leave, getting the garbage together to take to the dumpster on my way to the car, putting music on for the cats, Minnie came to the couch and snuggled under the blanket. She does that so infrequently and it immediately made me want to just stay and be still for a second and contemplate a bit on what’s happening in my inner life right now.

I am building routine; when I wake up, what I do in the mornings, when I take a shower, how I clean a little bit everyday, the evenings that I clean a lot. There is something in me that’s leaning into routine right now, maybe because I’m hanging with a group of people who are trying to manage into and out of difficult seasons of their lives. That is a contributing factor but I think it’s something else too.

I’ve been in a substantial funk these last few weeks. A low energy, a darker, more somber cloud, not suffocating or panicky but just...present.. Despairing about my future. Elaine widely pointed out that tax season can do that to me but what I think is happening is that I’m not as easily distracted from it anymore. I think it’s always been there, I just powered through my life like a bull, my head down and brain off, just push and move and fight and conquer. When I look back at these last three years, it’s incredulous; I can’t believe everything I did. That bull like instinct is softening, I guess.

The language for what’s happening is beginning to form. It comes down to trust. At the core of me, an inability to trust myself and others and that’s where this despair sits so deeply. I don’t trust that I’m meant to have love, have good things. I don’t trust God. I don’t trust strangers. I lock on to big organized macros that feel safe, like organized religion and companies to be that North Star of safe and I have adrenaline rushes of intimacy but something happens where the bubble bursts, and I move back to this core belief. I don’t trust Elaine, I don’t trust Dan, I don’t trust my boss, I don’t trust Siobhan, I don’t trust my financial planner but mostly I don’t trust myself. I read once that discipline is making an advanced decision about something. I love that. And it’s what I struggle with most. It’s why I don’t like myself a lot. I think I have to start here, with cultivating an experience of trust for myself, then maybe I see how that goes.

I was going to have brunch with my beloved C from work this weekend but I asked for a rain check. At first I was going to lie and say there was an emergency in Seattle but I didn’t, I said, “I just need some Diane time.” He acknowledged that. I think a year ago I would have panicked, worried that I just did something to make him leave but that kind of conversation in my head has to stop. It’s taking up too much space and time. Time at a certain point soon will become my most valuable resource; trusting myself with how I spend it? That’s where I need to begin. Wasting this time I have, I’ve done that long enough.

Thank you Minnie.

[janyolski]

Fic: The One With The Dog Mom And Hot Vet

Chapter 6: The One With The Birthday Party

Link to the whole story on FFN | AO3 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Summary: AU. Cosima is a crazy loving dog mom and Delphine is a crazy hot veterinarian. Cosima is also super gay. Mrs. S, Sarah, Felix, and Kira make their appearances!

"Wait, you mean the vet Kira keeps talking about?"

Sarah Manning's voice comes through the phone Cosima has tucked between her ear and shoulder as she pours dog food into Pancho's dog bowl.

The older sister (only by eleven months) speaks with an Irish/British accent from growing up and being raised by Mrs. S. in London. Sarah was definitely the rebel, wearing her hair in a permanent bedhead which she claims is sexy, and her fair share of stories of wild nights and trouble-making for her foster mother. Sarah grew up with a natural disdain for school and learning institutions, with a knack for pissing off and butting heads with authority figures, her foster mother included. Mrs. S. labeled her as the Trouble Monkey while Felix, her other foster child, was the Fabulous Art Monkey, as a joke. Of course, this was no less accurate.

Cosima, on the other hand grew up in San Francisco Bay Area, on a boat to parents who were professors at Berkeley. She lived, breathed knowledge and learning. She transferred to Canada for a PhD scholarship grant and to be with her sister. Mrs. S. labeled her the geek monkey.

The two sisters grew up in two different continents and their differences were innumerable. But, while each having a personality that's worlds apart from the other, their resemblance and connection was absolutely undeniable the moment they met. Side by side, they looked like identical twins.

"Yes. That's her. Have you met her?"

Cosima places the food bowl in the puppy's pen. Pancho is already up on his hind legs, leaning against the plastic fence of his playpen, tail wagging like mad in excitement for his food. He starts digging in before the bowl even touches the ground.

"No, haven't met her yet. S and Kira are always the ones who take the dog to the vet."

Cosima mumbles an 'mhmm'. Sarah would never be bothered to do something like that.

"Dude… The first time I saw her, I puked rainbows."

Her older sister's laughter rings through her ears.

"That hot, eh?"

Cosima moves to her cupboard, grabs the box of Frosties and sets it on the table. She then grabs a bowl, a spoon, turns to the fridge and grabs the milk.

"I mean… Just… Phew."

She pours cereal into her bowl, then pours milk.

"Mmhm. Yeah. So, do you want me to wing you on my kid's birthday party?"

Cosima almost drops the carton of milk as she pours some over the cereal. She thinks she would have thrown it at her sister if Sarah were across her.

"No! Absolutely not. Sarah, it's your kid's birthday party… my niece! And I love you, but you're the shittiest wing-woman ever."

Sarah laughs again.

"You telling me about this woman and her being invited to the party means you want me to help you. You know can't do this without me."

Cosima digs into her cereal. Sarah could hear the crunching and munching over the line. The older sister speaks before Cosima could respond to her challenge.

"Cos, are you eating shite food again?"

Cosima swallows.

"Dude, if I wanted to be winged, Felix would do a better job than you. And I'm not eating shite food. I'm having cereal."

The pet owner laughs at her own imitation of Sarah cursing. Sarah doesn't even comment on her sister mocking her.

"For dinner? Jesus fuck. You have to eat better food Cosima. And I know you secretly enjoy it when I wing you."

Cosima scoffs.

"Sarah, you are worse than a group of middle schoolers teasing me about a crush. I do not want to be humiliated in front of this one, please."

Sarah laughs at her again.

"Cos, you know you love it because you get to bond with your favorite sister."

"Dude, Felix is my favorite sister. Not you."

Cosima laughs this time. It was true. Not the Felix is her favorite sister part, because she loves them both equally, but the part about her enjoying Sarah playing wing-woman. It was for the simple fact that she gets to share a bonding moment with her long-lost sister. If Sarah's attempts were not successful, it at least made for funny stories to tell Mrs. S. However, they usually do this in bars where Cosima knows no one and her good name wasn't really at stake.

"Oi, Cos, I have to put Kira to bed. Talk to you later, yeah?"

"Okay. Tell monkey that I love her. And good night to you both."

"Yeah, okay. Good night, Cos. Bye."

"Bye."

Sarah hangs up. Cosima puts her phone down and continues eating her cereal. She thinks about the French doctor and hopes that Sarah doesn't have too much fun trying to be her wing-woman.

"Auntie Cosima!"

The birthday girl immediately comes running to her the moment she stepped foot inside Mrs. S' house. Cosima bends down to catch her in a hug.

"Hey, monkey- oof!"

Kira throws her arms around her aunt's neck and the child almost tackles the woman to the ground. Cosima chuckles at her niece's excitement to see her. Pancho, who she brought along, of course, was walking at her side. The puppy was definitely infected by Kira's excitement and is wagging his tail and barking for Kira's attention.

"Happy birthday!"

Cosima leans back from the hug to give Kira a big kiss on the cheek to match her greeting. The child giggles.

"Thank you."

The birthday girl then notices Pancho. She rubs the puppy's torso as she hugs him. Pancho just tries to lick her face.

"Oh, he's gotten bigger!"

Cosima smiles at what is probably the purest thing in the world - the scene of her beloved niece playing and cuddling her beloved pup. A warmth spreads in her chest.

"Yes, he has gotten bigger. And so did you."

Cosima only noticed that Mrs. S. and Felix, who was in an apron, are both standing, leaning against each side of the door frame that leads to the kitchen, watching the scene. She gives her niece a pat on the head and gets up to give them both a hug, turning to the matriarch first.

"Hello, chicken. Thanks for coming in early to help."

"No, problem at all, Mrs. S."

Felix smirks and greets her with a one-armed hug, his other hand carrying an apron which Cosima suspected to be meant for her.

"Well, I finally get to see my favorite lesbian. Here's an apron. Make yourself useful."

And the pet owner suspected right. Cosima laughs and takes the apron.

"I missed you, too, Felix."

Just then, Sarah comes bounding down the stairs beside the door frame.

"Ah, the geek monkey is here."

Kira giggles at her mother calling Cosima a monkey. The little girl was carrying a surprisingly calm Pancho in her arms.

"You just missed me."

Cosima shoots back at her sister. Sarah, who's wearing her signature sleeveless band shirt and messy hair, raises an eyebrow at Cosima as she comes to stand beside her younger sister.

"Miss you? I talk to you almost every day. If anything, I'm sick of you."

Cosima rolls her eyes and puts an arm around Sarah's shoulders, giving her a side hug.

"Ha-ha, Sarah. Pretending to not have feelings to keep up your cool, badass image is so last season."

Mrs. S. chuckles.

"Aye. She got you there, love."

Sarah rolls her eyes but fails to hide her smile.

"Whatever."

The four adults proceed into the kitchen to start the preparations for Kira's backyard party. It was still early in the morning and the guests won't be arriving until lunch time.

Cosima ties her apron snugly around her waist. She is on cake baking duty today. Felix is starting the fire for the grill. Sarah and Mrs. S are setting up the balloons and other decorations up. Kira takes Pancho to the backyard where she introduces him to Babu and the two pups run around together after the initial wariness.

"Delphine, welcome! So glad you could come."

Cosima almost drops the cake she was pulling out of the fridge after she hears Mrs. S. greet the French doctor who just arrived. Kira and her friends were already laughing and enjoying burgers and drinks outside while the clown Mrs. S. hired gave a magic show.

"Hello, Siobhan. I'm not too late, am I?"

The French doctor smiles. Mrs. S shakes her head. The matriarch takes Delphine's coat and the two women walk further into the house, passing the living room and going into the dining area and kitchen.

"Oh, no, not at all. In fact, you're just in time for the cake."

The Irish woman gestures to the cake on the counter top, purple and pink frosting decorated with flowers made of icing. Delphine's eyes land on the woman behind it, holding nine birthday candles in blues, yellows, and pinks.

"Oh, hello, Cosima."

Delphine smiles at her and Cosima feels a fluttering in her stomach. A smile tugs at the corners of her lips.

"Hi, Delphine."

Cosima unties her apron and takes it off. She moves around the counter and takes the cake and candles with her.

"Kira would be so glad to see you-"

"I hear Kira's not the only one happy to see you, doc."

Sarah cuts in and surprises the three women. She had walked through the door from the backyard without any one of them noticing.

The alarms in Cosima's head go off, her eyes go wide as she processes her sister's sudden presence and her statement. A look crosses Cosima's features, one that Sarah recognizes.

Cosima thinks, oh no.

Sarah smirks.

Oh, yes.

[ascottywrites]

Love on a Silver Platter -- All Hallows Eve

                                        Love on a Silver Platter

                                            All Hallows Eve

          Behold the power of the Tide and all the wishes made wherein…

12:00 AM October 31

  A fog rolled in over the city, covering it like a winter coat. An unusual sight for the time of year. But that’s not what set this day apart from the other, going unnoticed by the one who most needed to see it. Though, perhaps if those involved would have been more wary and there would not be a story that needed telling.   In the stead of ominous weather, it all started because of a book. A thick leather-bound thing that took obvious care to create. Something taken as so innocuous it could be given as a gift from one friend to another. A petty little parcel accompanied by a birthday card with sarcastic note written inside:

  All Hallows Eve. The one night of the year when the link between the two worlds is at its peak. Doors are opened. Spirits can cross. Wishes can be made and magic appears where magic did not exist before. Happy Samhain.

  Happy Birthday weirdo! Open on your birthday ONLY and go to the marked pages. I’ll know if you don’t you cheating cheater who cheats.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Love you Asshole                                                                                                                                                                                                         Call me in the morning

   Blinded by ignorance, none took heed off that rolling fog or the series of perfect events Siobhan Ferguson unwittingly set in motion that would make this gift something far from trivial.

2:00 AM

Happy Halloween my lovely weirdos!

   Veronica Torres replied to your comment: Yooooo! Happy Birthday asshat! Did you open my gift?

   Penny Sutherland replied to your comment: Happy Anniversary of the day of your birth! Why are you still awake anyway?  

   Siobhan Vonnie Ferguson: Veronica I did open your gift and did so at the specified time.                                                Penny you know, the yoose. I lit the fireplace too late. Waiting for it to die so my apartment doesn’t catch fire while I’m sleepin’. Thank you both, my best loves!

   Siobhan snorted when the chat window popped up at the bottom of her screen.

Veronica: Your only loves you fuckin’ liar. Open it! Siobhan: I did open it you asshole. A book of spells? Really? Penny: Hahahaaaaaa!! Veronica you’re such a dick! Veronica: No. I’m a godsend. Penny I got the book, true. But really I got her the specific spell inside. Penny: OMG I’m afraid to ask. Veronica: It’s time for her to get laid. She’s gonna be 40 before we know it. Penny: A love spell? I just died laughing. Siobhan: I’d appreciate you two not carrying on like I’m not here. Veronica: But frfr have you ever thought of it? Siobhan: What? Being a virgin until I’m 40? Seriously? Penny: OMG! Please! Why am I friends with you two? Veronica: No you idiot. Veronica: Are you telling me you never thought Oh my birthday is on Halloween. Maybe I could be a witch? Siobhan: LOL No. Penny: Bullshit Siobhan: Eh? Penny: Every girl our age that laid eyes on a TV growing up at some point thought she could be a witch. Veronica: True Penny: I mean Justin Timberlake in your closet. Saving the world every week and looking hot doin in? Penny: Come on Siobhan: Lol Penny don’t pass out. Penny: Whatever Vonnie ijs. If I could live in a bomb ass Victorian instead of my current shitty apartment and blow shit up. I’m down. Veronica: ANYWHOOZLE Veronica: In all seriousness. Happy B-day Von. I still love your non-magic havin ass. Penny: I guess I do too Penny: Speakin of love. We getting together soon? I miss you nerds. Siobhan: Right on, love you guys too Siobhan: I agree. We should make it happen soon. Veronica: Talk about it in the morning? Penny: Sure Siobhan: Sure. Everything should be cooled off enough anyway. I should go pass out. Veronica: Do the spell. See if it works Siobhan: Seriously Penny: If you get a man I wanna try it Siobhan: omg Veronica: Couldn’t hurt. Night! Penny: G’night! Siobhan: Love you guys

    Setting her laptop aside Siobhan took a sip from her wine glass, a festive little thing that was too big to constitute a normal serving, more goblet than glass, and sported an obligatory conical hat toting witch caught flying across the face of a full moon. She hummed, squinting dubiously at the book setting on the coffee table in front of her.      It was interesting if she had to admit anything. A touch faded and well worn. Something that probably would have been passed down along the generations had it not somehow found its way in the back of whatever thrift store Veronica liberated it from.      Setting her glass to the side, Siobhan reached out to graze cool-tipped fingers across the edges until she could dig her fingers to the split seam, wedged open by the ornate bookmark Veronica placed inside.    “Almost thirty and you’ve never been in a real relationship.” She huffed. “…couldn’t hurt.” Then ripping it off like a band-aid, she wrenched open the book. Then there is was, after a complex looking spell to bind and tagged as ‘Romani’ and before a simple seeming, non-descript incantation for peace, the ‘gift’ Veronica meant: To Call for Love.   It began as all good recipes do, with a description. A short blurb that described the spell as a combination of invocation and summoning. That both were precarious in their own right and could be even more so when forced together. That because of the inherent danger of dabbling in matters of the heart and summoning the unknown, one should be pure in their craft and sure in the work they will commit in influencing the natural currents of life and love.   “Don’t do this if you’re just lookin’ for a good time. Got it.”   She read on

                …One virgin candle to ignite desire and a waxing moon…  

   Well, she had that mulberry scented candle she lit every evening when she came home and she wasn’t all that worried about the phases of the moon. A little improvisation couldn’t hurt anyway.     Swiping the half spent, burnt candle from the side table she set it on the coffee table beside the book.   “Anoint the candle with your vaginal secretions from the bottom up.” Her face scrunched in distaste. “Well that’s not happening.” And that was that. “Conjure the image and characteristics you would desire of a perfect mate and hold them tightly in your mind’s eye.” Well that she could do with veritable ease. Had been doing it for a good while if she were being embarrassingly honest. Which is probably the very reason why Veronica had stooped to the supernatural in the first place. She winced at that.   “Goodness gracious. Let’s just get this done.”   The last of the fire diming in the hearth went unnoticed by Siobhan as she closed her eyes.   He would be strong, passionate, desperate to love her and hot with a touch of villainy to keep things interesting. Always having had a weak spot for dark hair and light eyes she was not surprised by the image that sprang to life in her head. One with a gaze the brightest of blues and a head of perfectly coiffed golden hued brunette hair. She laughed at what her mother would think. Her lips pulling up her crooked mouth. Just another black girl mixing it up with some white guy that was going to undoubtedly ruin her life in the end. Not that she blamed her mother for her opinions, not with their family history.   Not that it mattered. He wasn’t real. Just a mesh of ideas she’d put together in her head. And after a slew of bad dates…oh who was she kidding, they were all completely horrible, disappointing failures of the worst kind and she deserved this fantasy.   “As you hold onto this ideal gaze into the flame and repeat the incantation three times. Each time with more conviction than the last:

                      During this dark witching hour                       I call upon the witch’s power                      Take this description near to thee                       And bring my heart’s desire to me”

     She repeated the words and each time with more determination. Staring deep into the blue of the flame. Caught in its hypnotizing sway. Half wishing that it could all be real. As if to prove itself the candle flickered and blew out. Severing the thrall its dance dragged her into.      “What in the world?” Curious and confused, Siobhan leaned forward. There was no breeze from an open window. No air from the A/C. She had not touched the flame or moved near it.       Her heart raced wildly in her chest. Blood thrumming in her ears. What now? Then as the world around her became still and quiet the flame flickered back to life and a sound crash came from behind her.      She flinched with a hard yelp, spilling the wine in her lap.   “God damn it Pogue!” A haughty meow came from the kitchen. That cat was going to be the death of her. Sucking her teeth, she wiped at her lap. It was useless, the wine was going to stain. Sighing, she carefully moved to stand.     Setting her glass atop the coffee table with a little more force than she meant the stem snapped. The broken glass slicing into her palm. She hissed a curse, cradling her bleeding hand. Completely engrossed, the few drops of blood that sizzled on the newly lit candle and the flickering flame that held strong went unnoticed.

3:30 AM

  Wrapped in the snuggliest blanket burrito known to man  Siobhan snuggled deeper into its warmth. A sigh of con-- "Oh fuck!" he eyes snapped open. She forgot the chili on the stove. She screwed them shut. "Whatever." The embers in the ash heap, the leftovers, the mess of glass and wine, they'd be alright 'til morning.   If the window in her living room cracked open just a bit, well…she was one the fourth floor, that would be fine too.

5:45 AM 

  Siobhan groaned. Unsure of what it was that woke her in the middle of her beloved REM. Whatever it was, though, it left her buzzed and when one wanted nothing more than to sleep, to feel electrified from skin to boney center was the last thing desired.   Fortunately for her she knew her body, even in her sleep inebriated state and the best, sure-fire sleep remedy she had up her sleeve was one good orgasm.   She’d rub one out like a pro and pass right the hell back out.     Her eyes slipped shut. Fingers slipping into the juncture of her thighs to find the nubbin waiting just there. She wasn’t ready, not in the slightest. But she didn’t have to be. Her imagination was solid and just the idea of what would bit sitting at the end of the other side of the rainbow was enough to make her flutter. Dry, wet, it wouldn’t take long either way.   She thought back on the face she created of her perfect man. Imagined how his body would look. How it would feel against hers. How warm he would be.   …How beautiful his hard cock would look jutting up from his lap. Looking like an offering sitting relaxed on her couch. Waiting for her to take the initiative, to come sat astride his lap. The next she knew, he was moving against her, around her, inside her. His words whispered hotly against her ear, deep and desperate and harsh, “Fuck –yea. That’s it. Wanna feel you come on my cock.”   Oh! All right brain we’re just jumping right into the thick of it then. Which that was just fine, she didn’t need to build up just the release and there was nothing that was going to get her there faster than the desire to beat her partner to the finish line. To give him what he begged for and to take everything he offered.   Her skin turned hot to the touch, burning beneath the blankets, her breath devolved into short bursts pushed out by the rapid beat of her heart. A fresh rush of arousal surged forth to slick her way around the engorging nub.   She imagined large hands clinging desperately to each cheek of her ass, thick fingers dinging in deep enough to leave bruises. “I’m gonna come.” His voice brought to a reedy whine by her ministrations. He wrenched her closer. “F-fuck. Gonna come in you.” He could. That was fine too. Because even if he did, even if he pled for her to slow down, to give him a respite from his oversensitivity, she would keep riding until she finished. She would take and take until there was nothing left. Ring him out until he was a goddamned husk if it came to it.   When she came it was with a seize that took her whole body and to the idea of a pathetic sounding whine coming from the barrel of a finely sculpted chest.   “Goddamn. Well that was fuckin’ new,” she whispered to the darkness of her room.   It wasn’t long after that she was fast asleep once again.

8:00 AM 

  She shot up with a start. Restless. An unusual buzzing trapped beneath her skin. Not so unsimilar to that surprise the few hours before, if only a little more subdued. She chalked it up this time to the gruesome details of her fading dream. Goodness, had it been the wine?   Whatever the case may be, the results made her shudder in disgust all the same.   But the further away she moved from the realm of sleep the fuzzier the dream became, leaving her with mere vestiges of what happened in it. Like trying to see into the farthest reflection of a mirror in a mirror. But there was still a piece of her that knew it was something horrible. Something involving her friends.   Something…that made bile sting at the back of her throat and sent a cold shiver racing down her spine.   But…whatever it was slipped through her fingers like sand through a sieve until there was nothing more for her to grasp onto and she was left with just that feeling of that restlessness.   Christ, she needed to get out. Needed fresh air. A walk would do.   She cleared her throat against the burn and clenched her hands into tight fists. They were shaking. What the hell was wrong with her?   …Air.

9:00 AM

  The next thing she knows, Siobhan is stepping through a dinner door. The chime overhead startling her enough to bring her into the present. How had she gotten here?     “Mornin’. How many?’   Hearing the words felt strange, as if they had been the first sounds she heard since going to bed the night before.   “Uh — jut me.” She followed on suddenly unsure feet when the over-coffee’d waitress pointed to one of the empty booths seated along the windows.   “So what can I do ya for?” She wasn’t from around, that was for sure.   “Just coffee for now, thanks.”   “Cream?”   “No thanks.”   “Be just a minute then.”     What the hell was she doing here again? Old fashioned Greasy spoons, while not unheard of in a city like San Francisco, the city’s eclectic aspects catnip for hipsters interested in such hospitality throwback, weren’t places she typically found herself spending her time and she’d definitely never seen this place before.   But that wasn’t the point. Point was…well… what the hell, she couldn’t remember. Her mind was slipping and sliding, this way and that, racing in some thoughts, sluggish in others. Tugging in all opposing directions. Almost as is if it was actively working against her. Keeping her distracted.   “There ya are hun.” The waitress returned, shocking her out of her inevitable spiral. “Did you get a chance to look over the menu?”   “Sorry.” Siobhan cleared her throat, embarrassed. “I haven’t even looked.”   “Well that’s alright. Take your time. I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.”     Siobhan returned her sweet smile with and uneasy one before she flitted off to another table.   “Try the French toast. It’s pretty good here.” His voice rang clearest of all among the den of senseless chatter and Siobhan couldn’t help looking up at its source.   Oh wow, he was beautiful. She stared up at him, transfixed by eyes the deepest blue, shaded by thick, dark lashes.   He took the seat across from her. Plopping down comfortably, confident he wouldn’t be turned away.   “So, French toast?”   She grimaced, her stomach flipping at the idea of the sweet treat…or was it because of him? Holy hell, she was losing it.   “I think maybe I drank too much last night,” she confessed, unprompted and rightly confused to why she felt comfortable enough with this stranger to do so.   “Ah.” He smiled, commiserating. “Then you need the hash browns.” He took her menu, flipping it to the back, mulling over the options listed there, “Maybe with bacon, sausage, and two over-easy eggs. Sound a little more appetizing?”   “Over-easy?” Siobhan asked, admittedly a little more lost than she liked. As if she just couldn’t keep up. What the hell is going on?   “Sunny side up. Goes good with toast. It’ll help with your uneasy stomach.” Then the stranger smiled, and it was like a punch to the gut. Everything about him grew clear as if he existed superimposed on the world around them. The most prominent thing to exist in the hazy mess of people around them. And in that moment, she knew him. Those blues eyes were familiar, that sculpted collar and thick neck revealed by the three open buttons of his soft looking Henley…familiar.   “Holy shit,” she breathed. It worked.   “I’ll take that as a yes.”

9:30 AM

  They chatted through breakfast and into a late morning dessert… “This place has the best New York Cheesecake in town.”… and if she was so caught up in it that she didn’t notice that she’s missed several calls well…enough had been missed so far, what’s one more drop in a pail full of water?

5:00 PM

  After a reluctant goodbye and a date planned for later that evening Siobhan finally put the leftover chili into the refrigerator and cleaned out the fireplace. The restless feeling suddenly dissipates and the exhaustion that had been lurking around the edges finally takes its toll. She laid back along the couch, happy to take advantage of a few winks, and before she knew it, she was sound asleep.

6:45 PM

  Unprovoked, Siobhan leapt into consciousness, cursing with a quick glance to the time. She was supposed to meet Him in fifteen minutes. There was no way she would make in on time.   In her haste she tripped over Pogue, the cat screeched, and she went tumbling into the coffee table.   Pressing her hand tight against her stinging bicep she was sure that when she lifted her hand, she would pull back blood.   “Fucking shit! Goddamnit Pogue.” She couldn’t go like this.   Then, as is the way of things, her phone started buzzing, rattling persistently against her breakfast bar. The name flashing across the screen, one she couldn’t remember adding to her contacts. She answered anyway.   “Hey! I was just calling to see if you wanted to try this Irish pub I found instead of going to the Mexican place we were talking about earlier.”   “Peter?” she asked, needing the confirmation. When had they even exchanged numbers? She shook her head against the errant unease creeping up on her. “Oh my goodness, your timing is incredible. I was just going to call you.”   “You’re not canceling on me are you?” He chuckled into the phone, a suave sound that made her forget any possible blooming discomfort. She smiled at it.     “No! I mean, I was going to ask if you wanted to just hang out at my place tonight. But if you’re dead set on that pub—“   “No-no. I’d be happy to spend time with you anywhere. Just text me your address and I’ll be there soon as I can.”     “Great. I’ll be here.” I’ll be here? What the hell? Where the hell else are you going to be? “See you in a bit,” she blurted, fumbling to hang up before she said anything else embarrassing. Good job you awkward ass. She looked down to her cat, “At least he was kind enough not to laugh.”

 7:30 PM

  Pogue has never been of the friendly sort. Not even towards Siobhan, the hand that feeds him, no matter how reluctantly at times. Siobhan and Pogue are enemies caged in an apartment that is not big enough for the both of them. Their war a near daily one beginning with a cat slap to the face and a reciprocated angry toss worthy of a football quarterback.   While other smarter, more humane people with a fully developed sense of self preservation would have called it quits long ago, the two had instead come to an understanding that one day one of them would wake up dead and when push came to shove, both of them were fine with that dysfunctional set up.   That being said, when it came to strangers, Pogue rarely paid them the time of day. Would have lazed about the apartment, being his usual blaze self, preferring to pretend that whoever that cretin to deign to exist in his space simply didn’t exist at all. So when Pogue hisses something fierce, bats at the air, his hair standing on end, before shooting off as if the hounds of hell are on his tail leaves Siobhan standing flabbergasted in her doorway where Peter waited patiently to be allowed in.   “I’m sorry about that,” she mumbled. “That was weird, even for him.”   Peter shrugged it off, a half smile tugging at his lips. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Some cats just don’t like me.  Call it my personal curse.” His eyes flickered to the bandage on her arm when she shifted uncomfortably. “What happened? You bleeding?”   “It’s nothing.” She shied away, trying to hide in her invitation.   Peter asked nothing more about it after that. In fact, he wouldn’t say much at all for the rest of the night. But Siobhan wouldn’t judge. Wouldn’t think on it at all really.   It could have been the way he touched her, a gentle graze against her skin. Or the way he looked at her, with hunger lurking just beneath the surface. Being able to pinpoint what it could have been exactly was of little consequence in the grand scheme of all things.   All she knew…all she needed to know…all that mattered was his mouth on hers. Was how it felt when searching hands tugged impatiently at the hem of her dress; groping, desperate, and moving with a single purpose: to bring her to the height of pleasure and hurl her over the cliff.   She never thought she would be the type. One to fall in bed –couch…semantics…whatever—with a veritable stranger. The kind so willing to be devoured. Such a severe about face from who she knew herself to be.   The change was exhilarating, and she lost herself in it…him. In that mix of pleasure and the right side of pain he coaxed from her. Burning her from the inside out. Lost herself in his breath, his moans, his grunts, his praise, and everything else that was him.   It was dangerous. She couldn’t bring herself to care.   She groaned, a sound birthed from deep in the hollow of her chest at the press of his hand against her throat. His thumb pulling roughly at her bottom lip. Tilting her head back. Arching her spine. His grip tightening with each forceful thrust of his hips.   For a moment she thought she might die as he filled her overwhelmed by the feeling of being both empty and full.   Then came the swell, building from the tips of her fingers and toes to converge at her center and form the tightest of knots until it was strained to its limit and shattered into a billion pieces. The world around her falling to white noise.  

11:59 PM

  The fire is dead. The food is still out. The wine she poured, spilled against the white carpet in the living room. Siobhan remembers these things for little more than a second during the five minutes of lucidity wherein she also notices that she’s alone. Five minutes of a flash of worry and oppressive insecurity fighting to rear its ugly head.   But then, he was slipping back beneath the blankets with her and where he when, why it was long enough for the sheets to turn cold, none of it mattered. And when he started touching her, his hands warm against her skin, God, nothing else outside of him mattered and in that moment,  she wasn’t sure she could ever be convinced that anything would again. It made it so easy to ignore the fact that his hands were wet and that the room suddenly smelled more of copper than sex. To instead, bury herself deeper into his warmth.   “I’ve never met anyone like you before,” she whispered into his mouth.    She felt him smile against her when he said, “I’m one of a kind.”  

  That he was. Wouldn’t her friends be proud.

  Happy Birthday to me.

undefined

[crystalrmurphy-blog]

Inseparable by Siobhan Davis

Wow! I am obsessed over these Siobhan Davis novels! I love her style of writing and her incredible imagination. Since this story is written in parts, I will be splitting this review up into parts to correspond with the book. So here it goes....

Part 1 (Senior Year of High School) 

It all started with the two boys that lived next door to Angelina by the name of Devin and Ayden. Having all known each other since they were toddlers, they grew up to be inseparable. What started off as three bestfriends going into senior year together, it took quite a turn in the opposite direction when everything started to change.

Angelina has been harboring feelings for Devin for years but has never acted on it. One night while Devin and Angelina are alone at her house, lines are crossed and in the heat of the moment they confess their feelings to one another. During their make out session, Angelina divulges that she is still a virgin and has been saving it for Devin. Not thinking he's good enough for her, he wants her to think on it first before giving it up to him and claims they'll talk about it the next day.

Weeks go by and Devin is still avoiding Angelina and his relationship with Ayden lately has been strained, and neither of them will tell Angelina why. Not too long later, Angelina catches Devin in the act with her arch nemesis from school, Becky. Heartbroken, she flees the party in tears and into the comforting arms of Ayden, who figures out what happened. Feeling betrayed and unable to forgive Devin for breaking her heart, she ends their friendship, cutting him off. Already having a strained relationship with him, Ayden also makes the decision to cut out Devin.

As time goes by, Angelina and Ayden grow even closer, if that's even possible. One night after getting back to Angelina's house, Ayden just plants a kiss on Angelina without warning. Wanting to get over Devin, Angelina agrees to go out with him but over the course of the next few months of being together, Ayden starts becoming distant and drinking more. Coming to the conclusion that Ayden and her would be better off as friends, she decides she'll break things off before they leave to college together. Only she doesn't get the chance as the day they are suppose to leave, Ayden reveals that he won't be going to college and instead joined the marines leaving that day.

So far, I am loving this book and can't wait to see what happens next. Bare with me guys because this is going to be a long review.

Part 2 (Freshman Year of College)

This is the second part to the story and boy are you in for a roller coaster.

After going with her plan to attend college although Ayden is not with her, Angelina is taking it day by day. Agreeing to attend a frat party with her bestie, Angelina is in for a shock when Devin shows up as some guy is hitting on her. After getting through her first initial reaction of anger, she agrees to hear him out. Baring everything to Ange, Devin reveals that during their senior year, he discovered the guy who raised him wasn't his father and in fact, his uncle was his biological father. After meeting his uncle, he agrees to go to rehab to get help, with the financial help from his uncle/bio dad. Finally getting sober, Devin knows what he wants, and attends college where he was set to find his Ange. After hearing him out, Angelina is able to finally forgive him and they easily fall back into their friendship.

As the next couple months pass by, Angelina can't help but still have feelings for Devin. After trying to fight them for so long or at least until Ayden is back so she can tell him in person, one thing leads to another and they succumb to a night of steamy passion. That is not all though because when they wake up, Ayden is there and he is furious. Betrayed by his best friends, he storms out, wanting nothing to do with them. Hoping he will come to terms, they give him some space but not too long after he left, they get a phone call.

This is where tragedy has struck as we come to find out that Ayden has taken his own life after the events that happened that day. Falling into depression and blaming herself, Angeline blackmails her father into giving access to her trust fund and creating a new identity, leaving without a single goodbye.

Part 3 (Almost 5 Years Later) 

After almost 5 years of searching, Devin still can't find out where Angelina went. Even being a cop himself and having connections, there is no trace of her. Finally while attending a buddies bachelor party with some strippers, Devin is shocked when he sees one of the strippers faces and its none other than his beloved Ange. Ange isn't the sweet, innocent girl he knew, now she's an emotionless drunk that likes to hook up with random guys to ease her pain. Seeing what a mess she has become, he sends her to rehab to get the help she needs.

Over the course of 90 days, she finally makes a turn around and her old self is restored. As part of her recovery, she needs to tell Devin a secret she has been keeping over the last 5 years. When she ran away, she found out she was pregnant and due to health complications, her baby boy was born still born and revealed that Devin was the father. As time goes on, they are finally able to heal together and forgive one another and move forward.

Fast forward a little while later and they receive the real reason as the why Ayden committed suicide, via a video message he left to them. As it turns out, Ayden was gay and in love with Devin. Feeling as if he could not tell anyone, and disgusted with him self, he ended his life. Grateful to finally get the closure they deserved, but saddened that Ayden felt that he couldn't tell any of them, they are finally able to move past his death.

At last this book is over, and what a journey it has been. This book had me on an emotional roller coaster as each chapter went by. It included a multitude of things such as a love triangle, tragedy, forgiveness, healing, and a whole lot more. I am so grateful to have stumbled upon this author and all of her novels. This book was another amazing read that had me laughing, crying, and healing along with the characters of the story.

I was not contacted to read and review this novel and willingly read it on my own.

5 Stars!!

[justauniform-blog]

Well hello there!!

How on earth are you beautiful humans on this, what can only be described as grey day?

Well it’s official, Autumn is well and truly here. It is dark when I wake up, there is at least 10,000 leaves entering my house each day, and it’s getting rather chilly. I am sure that this is making at least 80% of the U.K population happy. However if you’ve been reading my ramblings for a while now, you will know that I am not Autumns number one fan. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one that well, how do it put it, hates it. Strong words I know, but true.

Don’t click away just yet, this isn’t a “I hate Autumn / Winter” post,  (although I could quite easily write 10,000 words on that) but how I intend to enjoy Autumn……. by wearing epic clothes of course.

Photography by @jaidepoppy

Normally when it comes to this time of year, I feel a bit cheated. I feel like my Summer clothes haven’t got the exposure they deserve. This is normally due to the U.K’s rather poor showing of that big yellow thing in the sky.

Things are different this year, I feel well and truly ready to transition into Autumn attire. Yes, you heard it here first, I had a good and long Summer.

As this was the case, I was determined to nab (technical term) the most important AW piece early. This being, THE COAT! Every year I put off purchasing a new coat until it is completely necessary, i.e snowing. I am usually left with slim pickings, kicking myself for not buying back in August, when lets face it, all the Autumn apparel arrives.

Well I am feeling rather my smug with myself, as this year I am ready for you Autumn! I have had an epic coat and I’m not afraid to use it.

This sixties inspired plaid beauty is from Emily and Fin, a phenomenal British brand who’s designs take inspo from the past. I first came across Emily and Fin whilst interviewing The Whiting Post for my beloved column in Cene Magazine (which you can read here ). I was instantly impressed with the cut and the quality of their pieces.

So you can imagine my delight when Emily and Fin got in contact and asked me to pick a piece from their AW collection. Learning from my mistakes in previous years, I just knew I had to pick this coat. It is so warm, has a cute collar, ticks the checked trend that is oh so now! Oh and can we talk about those deep pockets? We all love pockets, right?

Hats are my favourite, I am one of those fortunate ones that was given a head for a hat. I’ve never met a hat I did’t love. You’re already probably sick of seeing this Baker Boy but errrrmmm, you are probably going to be seeing so much more of it, or at least one of its relatives.  Anyhow, it was the perfect accompaniment to my sixties coat and plus it meant I didn’t have to wash my hair for brunch. WINNER!

I seem to have a new obsession, watches!! I now have one for every day of the week and every occasion. You can never have too many, at least that’s what I tell myself. Although functional, I see watches as more of an accessory, because lets face it we all use our phones to see what the time is. Don’t tell the others but this Adexe wonder is a firm favourite of mine. I love the retro vibe that it gives to my outfit, the navy face with the gold detailing is a match made in heaven. The huge watch face means that it would look equally as marvellous on my husband too, but don’t tell him that.

Before I dash, I want to mention that I know that seasons don’t need a capital letter BUT you know, I’m wild and I prefer them to have one. I figure they’re rather important and if months have a capital letter why shouldn’t seasons? OKAY Siobhan time to leave…. my English teacher would be so proud.

Thanks for reading!

BIG LOVE,

Siobhan

I've found it!! The perfect Autumn coat from @emilyandfin Well hello there!! How on earth are you beautiful humans on this, what can only be described as grey day?