#<- also i'm still bitter about his popularity and what happened to me after i left the show

[thegardengrows-infrozenrain]

bitches be getting me all hyped up drawing c!paul and future!tom standing next to one another and uploading that with a link to a fanfiction and i click and check the tags and it's just another boring-ass basic bitch-ass "ooh c!tom and c!tord fall in love during the war" stockholm syndrome-ass fanfiction

[skz317cb97]

Valentine's Don't

Bang Chan x Female reader

Word count: 4k

Synopsis: Sick of spending every Valentine's Day in a rut you impulsively ask a cute guy at the bar to go out with you. Will your plan to meet up backfire in your face?

A/N: This was a wonderful idea brought to me by one of my sweet friends. I'm not sure if they want to be named but they know who they are. I loved this idea as soon as I heard it! I was hoping to have it all done in one part for Valentine's Day but couldn't quite make it. Oh well. Hope you all enjoy! If you do please like, comment, share, shoot an ask, I love to hear from you all! Also there is no smut in this part but there will be in part 2.

Warnings: None really. Swearing/strong language, drinking/mentions of alcohol. That's it I think. If I missed something let me know!

Why, why did you let your friend talk you into coming to the bar one week before Valentine’s Day? You always hated the ‘holiday’ ever since elementary school. It was just a popularity contest that you never won, hell you never even placed. Now you were at the bar alone, ditched by your friend that made you come out in the first place when the first halfway cute guy approached her. Not that you blamed her. If a halfway hot guy approached you right now you probably wouldn’t be so bitter but alas you clearly weren’t winning any popularity contests still. Which may be your fault, you were not always the most approachable person, but your past had taught you to be guarded. 

You were working on your third drink since your friend had disappeared and after you emptied the glass you happened to catch a look at a guy from across the bar. He was way beyond halfway hot he was scorching, fire, lava. What’s hotter than lava? He was that! He looked away when the two of you made eye contact.

Had he been looking at you? Only one way to find out. Tipsy you was about to make a big move because why the fuck not at this rate? The worst he could do was say no, well no, the worst he could do was laugh in your face and tell you you’re dumb and ugly. You were going out on a limb that he wasn’t the type to say that. You approached him with all the BDE you could muster. 

“How many times a day do you get told your gorgeous, it's gotta be in the double digits.” He turned towards you smiling and his ears instantly turned red. 

“Probably about half as much as you do.” You grimaced. 

“Yikes. That bad huh?” He laughed at the jab you took at yourself not realizing it was one hundred percent true. No one ever walked up to you let alone walked up and told you you were gorgeous. Maybe it was the ‘don’t fuck with me’ look that had a way of unintentionally appearing on your face or maybe they thought... you were hit with a realization you, for some stupid reason, hadn’t considered before approaching him 

“Oh wait, oh shit, I’m sorry you have a girlfriend don’t you. I’m so sorr-” He shook his head. 

“No no. You’re fine I don’t have a girlfriend.” You quirked an eyebrow. 

“Boyfriend?” He laughed so hard his dimples appeared. 

“No boyfriend either no, I’m single.” You nodded. 

“So do you come to this bar a lot?” he wiggled his hand back and forth. 

“Sometimes, some of my friends are in the band.” 

“What about next Tuesday?” It was so random, and you asked so quickly it caught him off guard. 

“Oh uh...” He thought for a moment. 

“Ohhh isn’t that Valen-” You waved and shook your head. 

“Yea okay look I’m gonna give it to you straight is that okay?” You legitimately waited for his reply, and he nodded. Just lay it all out for him, fuck it. 

“You’re probably the prettiest person I’ve ever seen in my life, and I don’t even know your name, but I have never had a good Valentine’s Day, I’m always angry and alone. I don’t want another repeat, I’m sick to death of it, for once I’d like to go out with a cute guy and actually enjoy the stupid holiday. So here it is, I’m going to come to this bar at 7 pm February 14th. If you think spending Valentine’s with me might be fun, meet me here. If you don’t, well then, no hard feelings.” You turned to walk away, and he caught your hand to stop you. 

“Chris...” You looked at him confused. 

“My name...it’s Chris...” You smiled and nodded then turned and headed straight out of the bar. You would text your friend to tell her you left, you had to go after that move. As soon as you were out the door you were mentally kicking yourself. God that must have seemed so desperate, you hoped it came off as confident. Ugh why did you do that!?  

Every day that week up until Valentine’s Day you went back and forth between freaking out and trying to be optimistic. He did laugh and he’d told you his name, but you were never very good at being optimistic. Your internal monolog was louder. ‘He could have been laughing at you not with you, Chris is so generic he probably said the first name that came to mind.’ Then you would be back to freaking out again. 

Valentine’s Day. You had decided you were going to go, now all you had to do was muster up that same BDE that you’d had when you asked him out in the first place. You dressed nicely but not too fancy, put on a little make up and just threw your hair up, a few of those stubborn pieces refusing to stay put, falling around your face. Your nerves started to get to you again, and that voice. ‘No sense in trying too hard, he won’t be coming.’

You second guessed even going yourself and you had just about talked yourself out of it, then you saw yourself in the mirror. You had put in a little effort to look nice already, you could at least go and have a drink then leave when he doesn’t show. No one would know the difference anyway.  

So you were sitting there at the bar about halfway through your first drink, you were trying to pace yourself, but when you looked at the clock and saw seven fifteen you downed the rest of your glass and signaled to the bar tender for another.

At seven thirty and two drinks down, you decided you would rather get drunk at home alone than in a bar full of couples groping each other while wearing literal heart eyes. You threw some cash down on the bar and went to leave. As you were making your way through the sea of people you could hear someone from the crowd behind you calling for someone. 

“Hey! Uh... wait hey!” The voice sounded like it was getting closer and closer. Whoever they were looking for was evidently in your direction. 

“Wait! Fucking hell, I... I don’t know your name... fuck. Hey gorgeous!” For some reason that struck you and made you turn. When you did you saw that the person who had been yelling was in fact yelling for you and that person was Chris. You must have looked shocked when he walked up. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late I was taking care of something really important and it took me a little longer than I thought it would.” You still stood there stunned. He actually came? You shook the cobwebs in your brain loose and remembered how to speak. 

“Oh, uh no that’s fine, I just figured...” He frowned a little. 

“I was standing you up? Sorry, I’d have texted and told you, but I didn’t know your number, or your name...” He chuckled rubbing the back of his neck. 

“No really it's okay, did you want to grab a drink?” He shook his head. 

“We should probably get going if we’re going to make our dinner reservations.” You stood there stunned again. 

“D-dinner?” He laughed, his eyes scrunched and his dimples showed. 

“Yes, dinner. It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m taking a cute girl out to dinner.” You started giggling like a teenaged girl talking to her crush. Your giggle transformed into a cough as you cleared your throat, trying to maintain your cool façade from the week before. 

“Right of course dinner. Let’s go then.” Chris smiled and placed his hand on the small of your back. You wished it didn’t send a shiver up your spine. God you were touch starved. Chris led you out of the bar and to his car, opening the door for you. Right at that very moment you actually stopped and thought for a second. What you were doing seemed so crazy you hadn’t told any of your friends. Cute or not, no one knew you were meeting this guy and you were about to climb in his car. You hesitated getting in. 

“You’re not some serial killer, are you? If I ask and you are, you have to tell, that’s the rule.” Chris laughed with his whole body. You really liked his laugh; it was warm and made you smile.  

“I think that’s for undercover police but no, I’m not a serial killer.” You nodded side eyeing him. 

“That’s exactly what I’d expect an undercover cop to say.” Tears were in his eyes, every time he thought he had a hold of himself you had him laughing again. What Chris didn’t realize was humor was your security blanket when you were nervous. It was kind of hard for you to make friends, it wasn’t easy for you to open up and be vulnerable enough for people to really get to know you. When you did make friends it was usually because you made them laugh, so that was your go to safety net when you weren’t sure if being yourself was okay.  

After a short ride you pulled up to a small restaurant. The only way it stood out was the neon sign with its name in cursive. You could blink and miss it. When Chris led you into the dimly lit restaurant you could hear salsa music playing. There was limited seating and a dance floor took up quite a bit of space. The only time you had ever danced was at prom and that was more shuffling back and forth while being groped than it was actually dancing.  

“We don’t have to dance. I picked this place because they have great food and music, the dancing is optional.” He must have picked up on your immediate apprehension. 

“We can dance.” The fuck were you saying? 

“Looks fun.” FUN!? Oh God why was your overzealous mouth sabotaging you like that. 

“Really?” He asked surprised and you nodded 

“Yea really!” ‘Yea really’ you mocked yourself in your head as you continued to speak without thinking. 

“That’s great, I used to be a dancer. I don’t get to do it very often anymore.” Of course he used to be a dancer, look at him. Making an ass out of yourself in front of a hot amateur wasn’t enough, go ahead and make a fool of yourself in front of a hot professional instead.  

“You used to be a dancer?” That was in fact what he said. Braindead much? He nodded and suddenly your mouth was overriding your brain again. 

“Exotic?” Chris laughed shaking his head. 

“No no, mostly hip hop but some contemporary and ballroom as well.” Fantastic. You dropped the subject as you made it to the table. Maybe it wouldn’t come up again. Once you were both seated and your drinks were ordered you started to loosen up a bit. You had a little small talk, but you still didn’t open up about yourself.

Chris was friendly and open. He struck you as the type that never met a stranger. You both ordered your food and he was right, the meal was delicious. The music was good, and he was pleasant to talk to also. After you ate you both sat there listening to the band. Chris smiled and tapped his toe along with the rhythm.  

“You know someone in the band here too?” You asked sarcastically and sipped your drink. His dimples appeared again. 

“Yes actually.” You almost spit your drink out. 

“Really?!” He nodded smiling ear to ear and pointed. 

“See the buff dude playing drums?” You shook your head. 

“That’s my friend Changbin, he fills in here sometimes, but he usually plays at the bar where we met.” Then you recognized him, you had seen him playing at the bar before. 

“So how about that dance.” You laughed nervously. You really hoped he’d forgotten about that. 

“Aren’t you supposed to wait twenty minutes before dancing after a meal?” Chris shook his head laughing again. You really liked his laugh. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s swimming but if you don’t want to-” You quickly shook your head. 

“No, I want to!” Internal face palm. Way to not take the out he gave you genius. 

“You sure?” You nodded. There you go! Double down on your chance to look stupid, why not? 

“Great come on!” He held out his hand and you took it. As he led you towards the dance floor your heartbeat got louder and louder in your ears, you almost couldn’t hear the music. When he turned to face you, you had no idea what to do. Chris picked up on that pretty quickly if he didn’t know outright from the start. He pulled you closer by your hips, then he placed your hands on his shoulders before grabbing your hips again. 

“Just follow my lead.” You gave him a small smile and shook your head as he started to sway both of your hips to the beat of the music.  

“There you go, now look at me.” Your eyes had been glued to your feet. Two of Chris’ fingers placed under your chin tilted your head up to look him in the eye. 

“Perfect. Gorgeous.” You could feel yourself starting to flush. 

“Now when I take a step forward you take a step back and when I take a step back you take one forward. It’s easy.” He took a step back and you followed taking a step forward. Chris’ hips swiveled to the rhythm as he took a step forward and you back. 

“A natural!” You bit back the smile trying to force its way out. 

“Yea a natural disaster, just like a tornado.” You scoffed and Chris laughed. You made it through the first song only stepping on his toes a few times, then a slower more sultry song started.

Chris pulled you closer, your hips almost pressed together, you didn’t think your face could burn any hotter when his hips started swaying with yours, his arms around your waist, yours wrapped around his shoulders. You bravely toyed with the curls at the nape of his neck while watching your feet again. When you did, he started rubbing his thumbs gently against your lower back making your skin erupt in goosebumps.  

“So why do you hate Valentine’s Day?” He suddenly broke the silence between you. You looked up and shrugged your shoulders opting to look over his shoulder and not in his eyes as you attempted to be a little open. 

“Might as well be Friday the thirteenth to me. It’s just never been a good day, I dunno. Break ups always seemed to happen around that time for me, I always end up alone. When I caught my last boyfriend cheating on me on Valentine's Day that just kind of sealed the deal for me.” 

“How long ago was that?” You just shook your head. It had been years but you had given up on finding someone, trying to be content in your loneliness. This stupid holiday just always got to you. You finally willed yourself to look at him, Chris gave you a tight smile.  

“Sorry.” You shook your head and tried to laugh it off putting up the wall again. 

“What are you sorry for? It’s just some corporate holiday to make money off saps. It’s not that big of a deal really.” You looked back over his shoulder again focusing on the wall behind him hoping he wouldn’t press the matter as you tried to hide the overwhelming sadness you felt suddenly. He didn’t thankfully and you finished dancing to the song in silence.   

“Come on let's get out of here.” 

“Where to?” Chris shook his head. 

“Nnnope, it’s a surprise and why I was late. I hope that it makes up for it.”  

“You’ve already more than made up for it just by coming at all Chris. Thanks.” He smiled and his hand braced the small of your back as you both got your things and left the restaurant. Once you both were in the car and on your way a silence hung between you again and that internal monolog of yours came back. ‘You sounded desperate before now you sound sad and des-” As if Chris could sense the spiraling thoughts in your head, he finally broke the silence. 

“So Valentine’s Day is a bust holiday for you, what’s your favorite?” You thought about his question and then shook your head not wanting to give him the sad answer. 

“Come on you can tell me, please?” He pushed his bottom lip out and it was too cute not to give into. 

“Halloween was my favorite when I was a kid.” Chris smiled. 

“All the candy is pretty awesome.” You shook your head. 

“No, I mean yeah, the candy was great, but I liked it because I was able to be someone else for a day, anyone else. I don’t know just someone that wasn’t me.” Chris’ brow furrowed. 

“Why wouldn’t you want to be you?” Chris was pulling up to an iron fence and parking as he asked. You couldn’t help your attention suddenly being drawn to your surroundings. 

“Just because I... uh Chris why are we at a cemetery?” He shook his head. 

“It’s not a cemetery it’s a botanical garden. A friend...”  

“Plays in the band here too?” He laughed, that warm sweet laugh of his. 

“No no they run the place though and when they closed at seven I met her and got the keys to the place. Which is why I was so late. Sorry again about that.” You shook your head, you were shocked. If Chris put so much effort into a Valentine’s date with a total stranger he must be a really good friend. You hoped after that night you could be friends.  

He unlocked the gate and led you into the garden. It was kind of hard to see just at first then Chris disappeared for a second and the next thing you knew hundreds of thousands of twinkle lights lit up the whole garden. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Suddenly Chris was by your side again startling you.

You turned to him with your hand still over your heart. When you looked up at him you couldn’t speak. He was beautiful, you knew that, anyone with eyes knew that, but with the lights and the garden, his smile that scrunched up his eyes, he was stunning, hence the speechlessness. Finally you forced yourself to form words. 

“Chris... I... just... you did all of this for me? Dinner? This garden? For me?” You were genuinely confused because you had never met anyone like him before, as beautiful inside as he was outside. Your cool façade was melting, you had no joke or punchline. 

“Well it’s not like I strung up all the lights or anything, but yeah! I know it’s not much-” You kissed him. You threw your arms around his shoulders and kissed him and he kissed you back. It was a soft innocent kiss, a thank you, that words alone couldn’t convey. 

“Thank you.” You whispered as you pulled back with your eyes closed. He tasted like mint and smelled like the woods. 

“You’re welcome-” His voice was a breath; he cupped your face and immediately kissed you again. There was more passion behind his lips the second time, his hands cradled your face as he tilted his head, his plump lips slightly parting to taste more of yours. You followed, your lips parting, head tilting. Chris’ tongue gently invaded your mouth, teasing yours.

You toyed with the curls at his neck again as the two of you slowly, softly kissed. Chris let go of your face and wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you closer. After a moment you two broke the kiss, having to breathe being your only reason. You both stood there flushed, chests rapidly rising and falling with heavy breaths, arms wrapped around one another. He chewed at his bottom lip and smiled at you, forcing a small smile onto your face. 

“Um, heh, uh why don’t I show you around the place hm?” You nodded and Chris grabbed your hand and started to lead you through the garden. You both walked quietly for some time looking at all the beautiful flowers and reading different descriptions before Chris’ voice cut through the silence. 

“You know you really are gorgeous.” It caught you off guard. You must have looked shocked. You had been looking at flowers, but Chris had really only been looking at you this whole time. 

“W-what makes you say that?” He stopped walking and turned to you, grabbing your other hand holding both in his own. 

“Because you are and because I really want to kiss you again.” Before you could even think of how to reply to that Chris’ lips were softly pressed against yours again, his fingers threading through your hair. You gripped the front of his shirt and kissed him back, things getting heated rather quickly between the two of you. Finally Chris broke away apologizing. 

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m... uhh, I’m trying to be respectful, just... when I kiss you...” He wasn’t even sure of what he was trying to say. 

“It’s okay Chris...” You pulled him closer by his shirt and kissed him again both of you getting lost in the other momentarily. When your lips parted again you both started laughing. 

“How about I get you home?” Chris chuckled and you nodded, smiling the biggest smile you had in the longest time. You walked back out of the garden the way you came in so Chris could turn off the lights and lock back up. You both hopped in his car, you gave him directions to your place, and you were off. The car ride there was accompanied by some soft music Chris had put on. Once you got to your place Chris parked the car. 

“Hold on l’ll get your door.” Before you could insist that it was unnecessary, he was out of the car making his way around to your side. He opened the door and helped you out. He kept a hold of your hand the whole way to your front door. You fished your keys out and stood there a moment. 

“This has been the best Valentine’s Day Chris. Thank you.” You couldn’t look at him only your feet, you felt so vulnerable at that moment. Chris traced the back of his fingers along your cheek, you tilted your head up and he leaned in and kissed you goodnight.  

“Thank you for inviting me to spend the evening with you.” Just before you opened your front door Chris cleared his throat. You turned and looked at him confused. 

“Well I was just wondering I mean... I’d like to take you out again some time if that’s alright?” You nodded smiling. 

“I’d really like that Chris.” He stood there for a moment like he was still waiting for something more. 

“Would it be okay if I got your number?” He handed you his phone as you laughed. 

“Of course, I wasn’t even thinking!” You typed your number in and hit call. Your phone started ringing and you hung up. 

“There now I’ve got yours too.” You handed Chris back his phone. 

“Just one more thing?” You stood there waiting for his final request from you perhaps another goodnight kiss. 

“What’s your name?” Oh holy shit, you had gone this whole evening and not once did you bother mentioning your name! 

“Oh my god Chris I’m so sorry!” He laughed then you leaned in and kissed him, your lips slightly parted from his. 

“y/n.” He nodded and gave you one more peck on the lips smiling. 

@acciocriativity @caroline-ds-world @chansynie @ughbehavior @jquellen27 @hyunelixies @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny @owo-manii-uwu @armystay89 @b00dyguts @purplenimsicle @caticorn61 @lauraneuuh

“y/n... gorgeous.” 

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

[according2thelore]

happy wincest wednesday!!! i really want to pay it forward from the ask you sent me last week and ask what you (both?) think sam and dean's favorite books are! i mostly answered based on what books i had already read, so i'm really curious if in the books you've read you'd have different opinions! if not though (or in addition if you'd like!), i'd love to know what you think their favorite movies are, too :) give dean's favorite medium a moment in the spotlight, too 💖 (@incesthemes)

hi! happy wincest wednesday!

hmm--i think sam has a long, enduring, passionate love affair with the hardy boys and nancy drew books. i think he longs in some ways to be the hardy boys/nancy drew, because they get to solve mysteries and be hypercompetent while also having a secure home environment. in nancy's case, she's popular and has a boyfriend and also gets to explore thick tomes of town lore. they were so easy to find at libraries across america, and super easy to steal/shoplift because of how thin they were.

(dean also makes fun of him by calling him a hardy boy for a long time, i imagine. you also cannot tell me dean would not get an absolute fucking kick out of calling sam "nancy")

i also think that as he gets older, he gets more bitter/disillusioned about both series, but still has a secret fondness for seeing their covers in bookstores.

as he gets older (high school age), sam definitely gravitates towards more gothic, as you mentioned! i think he finds wuthering heights compelling, but can't quite put his finger on it, and never tells dean because dean would make fun of him for liking such a girly book. science fiction/horror novellas are also fun to him (frankenstein, poe, dracula, jekyll, the murders in rue morgue).

we know dean is a closet intellectual at his own choice, so i imagine he steals/lifts books from libraries/stores, and keeps them in the bottom of his duffle. i think a lot of this happens after sam leaves for college and dean suddenly has 80 hours of free time a week now that he's not huffing sam's boxers and staring at him lovingly in the rearview mirror.

in terms of books that they had to read (and inevitably read/reread over and over again as they move to schools that haven't read them yet):

sam likes: tale of two cities by dickens, telltale heart by poe, in cold blood by capote, inferno by dante, to kill a mockingbird by lee, yellow wallpaper by gilman, matilda by dahl sam HATES: romeo and juliet by shakespeare, heart of darkness by conrad, a separate peace by knowles (he hates that he finds himself in gene), tess of the d'urbervilles (bc he also hates he strangely relates to it)

dean likes: in cold blood by capote, hamlet by shakespeare, 1984 by orwell, lord of the flies by golding, and then there were none by christie, count of monte christo by dumas, any western he can get his hands on dean HATES: frankenstein by shelley, a good man by o'conner (HATES IT), catcher in the rye by salinger (it makes him angry that he gets called out), lolita by nabokov (it makes him a little nauseous how much he likes it, he agrees that humbert is a pedophile, but the depth of the "devotion" there makes him ill), dense histories like war and peace/tale of two cities/les miserables, etc.; he hates anything by dostoevsky--he finds the morality to be posturing and tiresome

i think they BOTH love the LOTR series--books and movies. as they both canonically watch GOT together as adults (and considering dean is more into LARPing than he likes to admit) i think they both love fantasy.

dean saw two towers while sam was away at college and has been dreaming nonstop of dying in an epic battle protecting those he loves in heroic and sexy ways like in the battle for helms deep.

but he still mostly refuses to watch the parts with frodo/sam in return of the king because "frodo is annoying" (because he gets uncomfortable and scared when frodo and sam touch foreheads and cry and sam picks up frodo because he can't carry the ring but he can carry frodo, and hearing frodo scream sam's name in agony makes him nauseous)

dean swears he likes LOTR for the fights but sam knows better.

(secretly, i think dean used to read chapters of the hobbit to sam when he was really small. it's the first book john buys him after the fire because john grew up with his own dad reading it to him before he disappeared.)

i think as an adult, dean gravitates towards more crime thrillers. they have clean cut endings, and he likes how the main character is usually a grizzled, alcoholic washup looking for redemption with his estranged wife (he completely cannot relate). he also likes brandon sanderson until he finds out Nerds also like them, so he gives up on them.

and i think sam might gravitate towards nonfiction/realistic fiction/historical fiction. he doesn't want to read about quests, he doesn't want to read about chosen ones, he doesn't want to read about brothers having to watch each other die, he doesn't want to read about how Bad is Always Bad.

bonus: they both read 50 shades after the craze in like 2015, and dean was scandalized to read this in a book while sam was like...this is it? he hits her a couple of times??

i've mentioned this a MILLION times, but i think they both love the die hard movie series. mostly the first one, and mostly dean, but they try to catch the marathons on cable every christmas.

dean loves the lost boys (because COME ON OF COURSE HE DOES!!! little brother and vampires and the good guys win! no moral complexity!), ghost busters, roadhouse, quick and fast murder mysteries with easy solutions, dirty dancing, tombstone, rocky, jaws, and--secretly--little women. he cries like a fucking kid being dragged away from a candy store.

sam loves indiana jones, star trek, friday the 13th (bc if he follows the Horror Movie rules, he and his family are safe!), the rear window, ET, it's a wonderful life (a movie about how your life has meaning even if you think you're making everyone's life worse...come on...), and a million arthouse movies about how life is strange and vulnerable.

they both like/watch together: star wars, bill & ted's excellent adventure, die hard, jurassic park, LOTR, the early 2000 fantastic four movies (they're not good, but they're mindless; dean wants to be johnny storm and sammy would DIE to be reed; dean likes to joke that sam's jessica alba instead), oceans 11

sam doesn't like monster movies anymore. dean doesn't like war movies anymore.

THIS WAS SO MUCH LOL I'M SO SORRY--i have a lot of thoughts about their favourite books/movies apparently! thank you so much for this ask--it was SO FUN to answer, lol! <3

i have texted charlotte and will reblog with her opinions when she responds! (she is busy gworl)

-lizzy

[uncontrol-freak]

Obligatory Outsider submission or Jacob :)

sdkkasjdkjdksad okay >:)

Outsider

How I feel about this character the light of my life, the void in my heart. I speak through him to the world. only he can convey things I have on my mind. I love him, in simple words, though it lacks the depth.

All the people I ship romantically with this character obviously Corvo. occasionally Daud, if I feel like.

My non-romantic OTP for this character BILLIE. I'm literally obsessed with their post-doto friendship potential (or maybe I'm just too brainrotten after a few nice fics I've read). I kinda like that this friendship is often considered as Almost Canon.

My unpopular opinion about this character revealing his backstory in dh2/doto was a good move, I don't think he's lost any charm after we've been told he's a former human (though I guess this opinion would be called unpopular somewhere on reddit lmao).

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. that damned Harvey Smith's commentary where he mentions him having coffee and pastries. it should have been in the game.

(also weird void sex with Corvo) who said that

Jacob Boyer (thank you for letting me ramble about him)

How I feel about this character honestly I feel for him. he's the one out of pack that I oddly resonate with. I want to protect him at all costs (or maybe make him worse). also he looks cool hehe.

All the people I ship romantically with this character to be honest he strikes me as someone barely interested in romantic relationships. I kinda get the appeal of Jacob/Dev though.

My non-romantic OTP for this character OH MY VOID. IT'S REMI DE LA FUCKING ROSA. maybe I'm biased and suffering from duckling syndrome because Jacob and Remi was the first combo I did with my friend but oh void these two have such a fun chemistry. I couldn't get enough of their banter. they give off found family vibes tbh, and this is what I liked the most. Remi saying "everyone knows I'm the daddy" still lives in my head rent free.

My unpopular opinion about this character (Redfall fandom and popular opinions are two never crossing parallels unfortunately) he's a bit of stereotypical 'loner merc' type of character but honestly I don't care much.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I would ADORE more interaction between him and Miss Whisper. the gal gave him that eye. for what reason? why it's HIM out of all people?? and she doesn't even control him via that artifact??? I need answers. also yeah I'd love more reaction from him to her death because of the reasons above. like he gets really bitter during Addisson mission but barely reacts when it comes to the one who turned him into a cryptid. hello Arkane??

[just-a-carrot]

Hi Carot!

Finally binge played the whole main game and side games (except for T2A2G, which was the first game I played)

I think I had a different emotional journey in OW than most players; I was interested in Orlam from the beginning.

I’m aromantic and don’t enjoy the situation where a love interest already has a hardcore crush on the protagonist (though I could sympathize with Iggy’s struggle about how blurry the line between romantic intimacy and sexual one is for allo/allo people), so a character who’s not involved in the love triangle somehow being a love interest seems interesting for me.

I’m not sure that you were expecting people to find out what exactly happened between Genzo and Orlam (something romantically or/and sexually intimate) before Arc 3, but I could tell there was something more than just a bully and his victim going on between them.

For example, in the BBQ scene where Orlam tried to hint at Genzo's sexuality and the conversation from the first Orlam’s revenge, the combination of dirty jokes and the mention of "after-prom" were so obvious.

I was fully convinced that Genzo didn't just bully Orlam awfully but also broke his heart when fake guilt-tripping Genzo in Kiddie Kruise mentioned that Orlam helped him after the loss of his sight. Why would a victim help a powerless bully? Orlam’s body sitting on a bed instead of lying is a dead giveaway (pun intended).

After the disappearance of Genzo in Arc 3, I thought Iggy would find out Orlam turned out to be a monster and was going to cry, so the choices caught me off guard. Choosing a man whose heart was broken by your friend over the forementioned friend who has a crush on you? SIGN ME UP ALREADY. (Don’t get me wrong, I like Genzou, but I'm here for THE INTENSE GAY DRAMA) (I’m also here for THE COMPLICATED TRIC TRANSMASC DRAMA) (but they once caught my eye PHYSICALLY and tried to pop it out MY EYEBALLS WANT TO STAY IN THEIR SOCKETS COMFY HELLO???????)

The emotional roller coaster ride of the end of Arc 3 was WILD, and his relationship with Iggy was also a good surprise, so when I reached Arc 5.15, seeing he's suffering from something I would never experience was really painful.

Whe I played Save the Last Dance, I figured out the way to get End 2 out by the hint (the player should gain points) and Orlam’s personality; he loves being in a dominant position and fears betrayal.

The game makes you trick him to get the wrong hope that Genzo will choose him over Iggy and stab him in the back (figurative language) (technically he stabbed him in the front this time). That's exactly what he did to him on the after-prom.

Now we know Arc 2 Genzo was not a ordinary person who was traumatized by the experience of killing someone he knew from his childhood; he killed someone who's happy in his last second of life because the man who once broke his heart cried for him.

Their fucked up relationship is one of my favorite parts of the game, and I'm also happy for the sidegame version of Orlam, who is no longer suffering from his feelings (we could see he's still bitter about Genzo, but as long as they're not trying to kill each other literally, I’ll take that as a win).

BINGED, MY GOD that must have taken so long I feel hghgjgy even aside from the long main game playing all the side games would take a while too 🤣💦 I am both impressed and honored that you'd play through everything like that LOL

and I'm very happy you like Orlam!! Orlam is such an interesting character for me personally just from a reception point of view as he's gone from a char no one seemed to like to the most popular char of the entire game... (and often with such intensity that I feel a tad overwhelmed at times jjgjfhg 💦). but I do find his story in general to also be one of the most interesting and he's easily the one I've always had the most fun writing and his scenes are always some of my favorites LOL there's a reason I spent so freaking long making sure the climax of his character arc, so to speak, in 5.15 was the best i could absolutely do 🥺

I don't really talk about the whole Genzou and Orlam thing outside of the game itself much. for one, because it's one of the many things I kinda would rather leave open to interpretation and for people to take away whatever they want from it (similar to some of the other stuff i don't go into detail much, such as some specific moments of all of their pasts, some of the chars' reasons for doing things, etc). and for another, because I don't really wanna romanticize it at all (and honestly feel uncomfortable if I see ppl doing so) so I mostly just avoid it in general jghgjgh to me they are awful for each other in every way, which is why I love how tragic and awful the whole thing is, but I don't like pushing it more than that LOL I do enjoy their dynamic in the AU-ish side games though as in those games I tend to head canon most of the Most Awful things as not having happened so they're not as toxic but they still clash horrendously which just makes for funny banter

I'm very happy you enjoy their tragedy and drama though dhdhdh sob this whole game is just pure convoluted drama laced with a bit of horrible death and a few bad jokes I swear 🤣💦 and tbh it grew more convoluted as production went on because both arcs 3 and 4 turned out a lot different from how I'd planned (4 especially). I still think 4 might be my favorite of all the arcs just because of how serendipitously I feel it all came together and also how much it broke my heart... though arc 5 once it's fully finished might take its place just because I love how it brings all the chars' arcs to their heights (and also I think the production value is the best LOL). Arc 3 though was where the game finally started to get a bit of traction (and also took such a huge turn) so I've always been fond of it, too

I feel like I might have gotten off track with this answer though that might be due to the aforementioned bit about me generally avoiding talking about those two too much so I instinctively veered LOL but I really am glad that you've enjoyed the game and its chars and all its tragic horrible drama so much!! 😭💦 And also thank you for taking the time to write out such a long and thoughtful message!! 💕

[wegonbealright-09]

Jimin getting that number gagged everybody hey!

Him going number one on BB100 had everybody chocking on their D. The whole of kpop was gagged, the members were gagged and someone at the company was losing his hair.

The whole of kpop was gagged because the biggest GG in kpop still doesn't have a BB no1 and jimin is considered to not be that popular in SK for certain reasons, him getting something that veteran kpop idols and groups couldn't get so unexpectedly and made it seem so easy gagged them. And I think the members were gagged because as much as he's known to be "the third most biased member" they didn't except that from him, they expected the kind of response Tae got because most of the fandom is tkk shippers and they don't like jimin even the members know that. Them being gagged got them bitter and jealous in the process.

I'm going to start with namjoon for various reasons. This guy last year seemed so done with bts, like he was so done being the leader and he wanted this freedom, he was so excited to go solo. He then released indigo which was beautiful but also mehh. His album pulled better numbers that BTS's own. He was so happy you could see the glow in he's eyes he was genuinely happy. He was considered the next bts by various articles he was so happy. Then face was announced and happened all of sudden he's not satisfied with his numbers he wants to pull more numbers he's releasing Collab after Collab. He released sprite with that girl during the same period and Vibe and then another one during jimin's debut. What was he hoping to achieve, more numbers, more listeners. He then became obviously bitter when LC went number 1 posted a story saying he wrote lyrics. A simple congratulations would have been enough what was he hoping for, recognition? What? He already got a paycheck he's credited as a write we know. He was so done with the group last year he looked so done, in his debut he didn't mention BTS at all literally now all of a sudden he's mentioning BTS every second because being arrogant and idgaf only works for certain members and he started feeling insecure about his numbers after Face, okay.

Then there's Tae who's only friends with jimin when it benefits him. Well he grew up poor( they all did except Jin but this is about him) and as a person who grew up poor like me you try to fit in to get the bag because at all costs you tryna get the bag, you have to secure the bag. But at what cost. He's basically losing himself he doesn't know if wants to be cute, sexy or a bad boy or whatever because his personality is made up he's just fabricated because he's genuinely such a boring person you can tell by his voice. Before FACE when smfpt2 was about to be released he posted something in weverse about looking forward to midnight or something idk. But it was about smfpt2. Then he went missing literally he posted nothing after that, imagine your best friend, your soulmate achieving such a feat and as someone who's chronically online you don't post about it? Tell me how. He was gagged I'm sure he kept on clapping hands every five minutes because he couldn't believe it. How jimin achieved this before his gf's group, how he achieved it when the fandom literally doesn't like him.

Then there's jk and yoongi whom I have a lot to say about but I won't say anything at all because I'm just tired of these two like literally. When's yoongi going to the military like nigga move your scrawny legs to the fking military he's probably not going to be in the field like others because of his shoulder thing meaning he's going to serve more months than others yet he's still here doing lord knows what just go please for the love of God and everything holy just go. Then jeon jungkook I've talked quiet alot about him to the point where my little blog started to feel a bit toxic, and it seemed like I was a jk anti whereas this is just a mere jimin focused blog nothing else. As for Hybe I'm done talking about them hell no.

And as for jimin. I hope he one day gives back the same energy he receives but the reason why he looks younger than all of them and doesn't even need a face routine for glowing skin is because he truly give zero fucks.

Anyways I'm just ranting because whilst having a glass of wine I was thinking and I wish Tumblr had voice record option because typing tires me

[kmze]

Hey.How much do you think actor's race played into the writing for Tyler Lockwood, him getting sidelined and eventually killed off so unceremoniously? I have heard Trevino is Hispanic but I'm not sure about Tyler.His mom was caucasian as far as I remember.Also, do you think Joseph Morgan's popularity as Klaus and of course 'Klaroline' factored into Tyler's disappointing arc?

Oh I definitely think it played into it and shows you how deep the showrunners' racism is because the character is white but the actor is not (Trevino is Mexican). I think what happened is JP and Dries (I'll omit KW since he was gone before Tyler's SL picked up a lot) lost their enthusiasm for Tyler once he had served the purpose of being Caroline's LI and his storyline really started to suffer. I think the death blow was when they de-powered him back into a human with an un-triggered werewolf curse at the end of S5. Getting de-powered in this 'verse as a man is a death sentence for how much the writers are gonna care about you, look at Stefan in S8. Even Tyler's writing in S6 went against a lot of his character traits from earlier season like him willing to let Bonnie die in the prison world for Liv.

As for Klaroline/Klaus affecting Tyler my feelings are a bit complicated. I think it played a part for sure but I think it was more KC/Klaus elevated Caroline into a higher tier because the way women survive and thrive on this show depends on how many high tier (usually white powerful vampire/hybrid) men love them. The problem for Tyler was Klaus moving Caroline into "it girl" status meant the writers wanted to give her more high tier men, so their attention turned back to Stefan for her. If Tyler was white he probably would have been used in a love triangle with Stefan in S5/6 (which would have been so easy because there's pre-established animosity sigh). Instead the writers used Enzo as a Klaus-lite until S7. And Tyler had even less of a shot in S6 because he was human again and that's probably the reason Trevino didn't sign on after that season (he could feel the lack of enthusiasm in the scripts I bet). Then he shows up for like random plot stuff until he was UNCEREMONIOUSLY MURDERED FOR NO REASON and basically no one cared! As opposed to when Enzo died and it was the most awful thing ever even though he was the biggest NPC ever on this show (no I'm not bitter or anything).

So for me it's more Klaus' popularity helped Caroline and that hurt Tyler more indirectly. Without Klaus I think Tyler and Caroline still would have broken up eventually but it would have taken longer. I also think Caroline would have been used as a prop for SE instead of Stefan being Caroline's love interest (and LBR a prop to her story in the end lol). It's possible that Tyler and Caroline would have gotten back together after Caroline was used to bring SE back together but IDK because that storyline could have really hurt her, like I can't guarantee she wouldn't have just been killed off. If you watched Arrow I have a bad feeling it would have been like when Laurel was killed off and she told Oliver he was the love of her life but she knew she wasn't his with her dying breath. Tyler was probably screwed either way, but yeah I definitely think the direction his storyline ended up going in had to do with the showrunners' not being enthusiastic enough about him. Because he's not white and they have severe internalized racism.

[the-crow-binary]

🔥 for ships ? Both as in specific ships or shipping in general

Welllll :3

Talking about ships in general, i'm all for shipping whoever you want (in terms of fictional characters, that is). The way i see shipping, it's not so different from engaging in certain activities with other consensual adults/people of the same age as you, wether it being sexual or not. It can be a safe way to experiment whatever you want, when it's not just straight up fun/interesting. (you go girl, ship that abusive relationship ! write about it ! make it worse why don't ya <3 as long as you know it's an abusive relationship and don't condone it irl, ofc <3) People just need to stop forgetting the line beetween fiction and reality everytime something they don't like happens (I'm not into quite a few things but i also don't care if others are. liking something in fiction doesn't mean you like it irl. i mean i'm an afab loving women who simps for fictional men lmao, there's many things people are into when it's fictional but not irl, like, psychopath characters. i just don't see why suddenly what you like in fiction automatically means it's what you like irl when it comes to more "sensitive" subjects)

NOW ONTO SPECIFIC SHIPS (everything from this point forward is Castlevania only because i'm obsessed):

Mathias x Leon: LEON TOPS. MATHIAS BOTTOM. TIRED OF MATHIAS TOPPING. PRETTY BLOND BOY HAS A MANHOOD TOO LET HIM USE IT ON HIS BESTIE !! (not to mention i think Leon is physically stronger than Mathias, wich is kinky, and also, smoll top toll bottom <3 well the height difference isn't that big but still)

Walter x Joachim: Same as Mathias/Leon. LET JOACHIM TOP !!! Let Walter manipulate him by making him feel in control even though he's just a pawn in his mischievious hands <3

Alucard x Maria: Is it even a popular ship ? Idk. But i don't like it. I don't feel the chemistry, Maria going after him seems too forced, it's like a cheap DracuLisa knockoff and THEY didn't get ONE SCENE together lmao (though Richter was cute for encouraging her to go even though he must've been in SHAMBLES after the traumatic events he just went through)

Dracula x anyone: i am once again advocating for letting Dracula switch once in a while. Lisa definitely pegged him

Soma x Mina: Big meh for me. Especially because i prefer to imagine Mina as being Sarah's reincarnation rather than Lisa/Elisabetha even if it's probably not the idea intended lol (Mathias x Sarah ? That sure is an awkward crack!ship) But also, none of them really impress me... eh.

Idk what over ship to talk about... but in terms of ships i have that are unpopular, well...

Dracula x Mathias (i have two reasons to ship it: one because it's hot. two because it can make for a nice story about self-love and the bitter acceptation of your fate <3)

Dracula x his Castle (I AM ONCE AGAIN STATING THAT DRACULA WILL NOT STUCK HIS PP INTO THE WALLS. THIS IS A STORY OF ABSTRACT LOVE)

Isaac x Trevor (?? is it even unpopular idk. It shouldn't be. I mean have y'all seen THE STABBING SCENE ?? And have you seen it in JAPANESE ??? WITH THE ASMR KING ISAAC ??)

Isaac x Grant (it started as a joke but i'm not so sure anymore)

Mathias x Walter (They did not get to interact in the game and it should count as a CRIME. I WANT TO SEE THE SCENE WHERE MATHIAS SEDUCES WALTER WITH HIS WORDS AND PROBABLY OTHER THINGS AS WELL. I WANT TO SEE THE TWO MANIPULATIVE BASTARDS TRYING TO GET INTO EACH OTHER'S HEADS AND PANTS. THEY !!! GAH)

Will I dare include a ship with Benedict ? Yes i will. BB x Isaac they're just so good for each other

Anyway. It's all that comes to mind for now <3

[theangrygnomeempress]

I hate Astarion, A Vent Post.

PLEASE SCROLL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FAVORITE CHARATER GET HATED ON.

IF YOU ARE A FAN, FINE. GOOD FOR YOU.

TW: Astarion, all of them.

I hate that this fictional character made big time news.

I hate how everyone just loves him, wants to do right by him, thinks he's such a sweetheart.

I especially hate how much praise his lack luster story gets. There is nothing nuanced about it.

He is a textbook narcissistic bastard. Alot of his bad actions get swept under the rug because of course he's acting like that, he's traumatized.

I'm not expecting the guy to be magically healed by the tadpole. I don't expect him to be all sunshine and rainbows.

He's angry, and he should be. His whole life was taken away from him. He faced so much abuse. And after all of that, of course you've not going to be ok just coming out of that. He's kill or be killed attitude, snarkyness, camp, and antisocial behavior is not the issue I have with this character.

Hell, because he garnered so much attention, I saw one tiktok and thought "understood".

I get why he's popular, he story hits home for alot of people. And a very loud portion finds him hot. I don't see him as all that hot as everyone else does though. Like, he's cute but Wyll, Dammon, and even Gortash are hotter in my opinion. But I also thought Miguel O'Hara was ugly too.

But after looking into the game, how is anyone ok with this character?

I can understand from what I've seen in acts 2 and 3 but act 1? Really?

Forget the whole "He pulled a knife on you" argument, valid due to circumstances for him to to that.

His bite scene is triggering in more ways than one. You wake up to him trying to hurt you and you either kill him, let him bite, or tell him to leave. And he does intend to hurt you. Per his origin story perspective, he wants to know if he could drink against his master's wishes. Playing as a Tav, he'll pull his wet cat eyes performance and say he's starving. But even when you let him bite, he still needs more. He even gets blood drunk after finding a bear. He didn't need you to trust him, he needed you to let him use you.

So you let him bite you as a Tav, you always have to push him off! As a origin Astarion, you roll to stop yourself from draining your companion if you choose so. As a Tav or other origin, you need to push him off. How was anyone able to keep him in their party long enough to see his story? That's a basic disrespect of your character's autonomy. A huge red flag. That's not what you consented too. You shouldn't have to push or fight someone you're supposed to trust off. He didn't care, he just wanted to use you.

Bad or good ending, it's all the same narcissistic tactics. His love is abusive, disingenuous, and parasitic.

What kills me the most is the fact that after going through all that hell, he doesn't just want to kill his master and gain power to feel safe again. He specifically wants to be in Cazador's shoes.

I'm not saying its wrong for him to want power to feel safe, or to be tempted into taking the ritual for himself, or even being bitter about not thinking of the other victims. I am saying it's wrong and gross to want to be your abuser.

It's completely normal and understandable for a survivor to want the false security wealth, power, and prestige can provide. But he wants so much more. He wants slaves, he wants to be a tyrant, and he wants a pretty pet he can use all he wants. He wants to be superior in every evil sense. And that is exactly what happens when he ascends.

Fine then, just don't ascend him.

Even then he has a high chance of leaving the party, cursing you, or fighting you after all you've been through. Even if you kill Cazador without Astarion there, he also has a high chance of leaving once you tell him what you did.

But if you manage to win him over, congrats you "fixed" him. Same reason I hate beauty and the beast, you cannot fix someone. His whole arc is fix him or make him worse. News flash, if a man treats everyone poorly, you will not be treated differently.

I'm sick of feeling like the only afab person who's grossed out by this character. When I say "Gale creeps me out because he's a egotistical frat boy role playing as a nerd.", I'm not alone.

But as soon as I say anything negative about this character, I'm met with petty side comments.

Look, loving problematic characters is fine and all but so should hating them.

If Neil wasn't such a good actor, you'd probably wouldn't love astarion as much. Neil is too good in all of his roles.

I just hate how this clearly evil character gets all his horrible actions justified by truma. Specifically, wanting to be in Cazador's place. He has a superiority complex to a dangerous and scary level. The sense of entitlement is just off putting. To clarify, I find Astarion's entilement to be a tyrant like Cazador disgusting.

My evidence,

Astarion> to place him in a position in such esteem the world will need and offer their necks

Tav> it's sounds like you envy him

Astarion> of course I envy him. Why wouldn't I? The problem with what Cazador has done is that he did it to me. If the time comes and I'm one move ahead of him, I'll take his place before his blood can hit the floor.

....................

Astarion>it seems now I do.

Tav> you should free them. You owe them that.

Astarion> and what am I owed? What about the injustices I suffered. Am I not entitled to anything?

So.....

For a guy who's whole story is about losing and finding bodily autonomy after abuse, that's quite disheartening that hear. It's obvious that Sébastien is that darling boy he's was distraught about.

But after seeing all your haunting conquests staring at you, even talking to them right before using them for your own personal gain, you can just kill them? Not feeling bad about sacrificing his "family" is one thing. From what we see of his "siblings", their quite mean to him. I don't blame him for not feeling anything about that. But Sébastien? They locked eyes with the eyes only past lovers hold. Heartless.

Also, while this is arguable about the gur children, he doesn't seem all too upset about them. He treats it like it was his middle school emo phase.

Again, ew. This whole character is ew. What's the nuance? The abused wants to be the abuser?

I get that because there's so much content and so many routes, not everyone will see every option. And to be fair, he does have lovely moments. Especially in act 3 and the whole drow issue. It can really make you feel seen.

It's just shameful that they could have made him power hungry who got more corrupt over time. Instead, they paired all those lovely heart meaning scenes with a monster.

I get he's traumatized, but he is also traumatizing.

Trauma explains but it does not justify.

Astarion had every right to kill Cazador, it would be a sin to let Cazador live. What Astarion does not have the right to do is feel entitled to other people.

He's not entitled to bite whoever he pleases, kill whoever he wants, or sacrifice 7007 souls who he says are innocent.

And please don't get me started on all the many different ways he says, "I know murder is wrong and all but you want what's best for me don't you? Love you. Now if you love me too, let me do the ritual? Babe? Please? Think of all my- our power!"

Look, I have my fair share of fictional men I've fawned over who were evil. I understand the appeal of murder hobos, and how in a controlled environment like fiction, you could love someone like this. We love a good goofball evil villain.

....*ahem*.....(skeletor)....

But to me, there is a line. Astarion crosses the line for me because he's a hypocrite. Yes Tav can make him good. But be honest. You know that is basically cannon that he would have done the ritual a good 80% of the time.

Again, it hurts how a character who's story is meant to sympazie with abuse victims is also a character that doesn't seem to care about those who lost like he did. He's uncaring. Beyond selfish.

His face was plaster everywhere earlier this year, and I fail to see how he's the beloved elf he his. Yes, he has his moments. Perhaps if they had better writers, I would have liked the character. Like show him struggle, to second guess sacrificing those souls. Have him show he has a soul. Give him more time to truly process his emotions.

[justumaithoughts]

The Past, the Beautiful Memory, and the First Love

The "first love, meet again after years and still fall for each other" trope is quite popular these days. I recently watched a movie about this, and there's also a newly-aired series with this trope (though I haven’t had time to watch it yet). Honestly, I'm always amazed at this trope because it does happen to some people in real life. While I really love this trope because it’s so sweet and I want to be loved by someone for years too (without me knowing, lol) I, myself don’t think I could stay in love with my first love for that long. Especially if we never really got to know each other well in the past.

Realistically speaking, at my age, I don’t think I'd fall for my first love again so easily like in the movies. It was just puppy love back then. I didn't really want to date him, it was a very innocent love where just knowing he attended class and was healthy was enough to make me happy, even though he was busy dating another girl, hahaha. We've both become adults who have gone through many different experiences in life and love. While there’s always a possibility of me falling for my first love at this age, it is not rational or logical for me when I think about it. Well, watching a lot of movies and series with this trope makes me want to write about my first love memory. So, here it is.

Back then, my first love was my ideal type, he looked like one of my celebrity crushes at the time. I’m not sure if I thought they looked alike because I was blinded by love or if he really did resemble that celebrity crush of mine! But I don't think I would see him as my ideal type now if we ever met again. I fell for him when I was very young and pure, with my biggest concern being my grades. I liked him just for his appearance, but as an adult, appearance is not the only consideration when you want to date someone, right?

I’m not sure if my first love is still single (all I know is that he’s not married), but I don’t think I would be interested in him now. I know I can’t control my feelings, and I don’t know what would happen if I encountered him again after all this time, but rather than rekindling romantic feelings, I think i'll be able to be friends with him, which could be better for my memory.

Right now, he remains a first love I admire from the past, and that alone is beautiful. I learned what it feels like to like someone for the first time and to experience the butterflies dancing in my stomach, all thanks to him. Although it was unrequited love, I don’t feel bitter when I recall the memory of my feelings for him. I was just too young to be hurt by such puppy love. For me, the past should stay in the past. To preserve the beauty of my memory of first love, I feel like I should never fall in love again with him. I’m actually thankful that I never dated him or got too close to him, as that might have altered how I view my first love as a beautiful experience. Since I liked him from afar, my first love remains a cherished memory.

When I think about it, it's wonderful that I can look back on my first love with gratitude. I’ve grown and changed since then, and my perspective on love, ideal types, and priorities has evolved over time. Honestly, I don't know what kind of person my first love has become. He might be an amazing person (I’m sure he’s a good person) and there's a very small chance I might feel attracted to him again if I ever see him again. I'm not closing any doors because anything can happen in life. But because I don't know him well enough now, his views, how he’s been living his life, what he values in his life, I can confidently say I probably wouldn't fall for him now.

I never feel the need to revisit or rekindle my feelings for my first love. It's amazing to see how what happens in movies and dramas where people meet their first love again after years and fall for each other can come true in real life. In my case, though, I don’t think he ever fell for me in the past, so even if we see each other now, he wouldn’t feel anything because I really liked him all by myself back then while he dated other girls (which didn’t really bother me as I didn’t want to date when I was still in school, I was honestly just really focused on playing with my friends and studying). For me, it would be very hard to fall for someone I haven't seen for years, someone I don’t even know right now, someone I fell for when I was very young and immature.

Lastly, since I talked about my first love here, I'd like to talk about a song by Bruno Major "A Place We Won’t Walk." the song that I associate with my first love because it beautifully captures the essence of my first love that never really "happen" and remains a cherished memory. The lyrics, "We pass through the hands of time like a river ever flowing," reflect how my and his lives have moved on. Though I’m not sure what will happen in my life in the future, the song represents the end of that chapter and the beauty of what once was. Just like in the song, where we find places we won't walk, for now, my first love is a place I will always remember but never revisit.

[icharchivist]

I do feel you on the orchestra page

I know it's a gacha game and they make money by presenting girls with big boobs, but I agree that the character can really suffer from being overly sexualized like that 😔

There isn't anything we can do about it, but it is frustrating. I would've liked regular Magus just fine

I guess we should thank our lucky stars that they went equal opportunity fanservice with Last Sumo Warrior and that Suwabe put his entire pussy into that performance at least. It definitely would've been a missed opportunity if it were Narmaya all the way

aah glad you think so

usually i do try to let it slide, like, once in a while it's whatever, but it's just been constant lately it's leaving a bad taste in my mouth that doesn't have the time to fade away before more is added to it yaknow

on the orchestra page it's frustrating to me in a special way because it totally blindsided me. the charas so far had a thematic going on for it, and straying from this thematic for the most blatant case of fanservice just leaves me bitter. Esp since Galleon is hyper-used for the sexualization (again she's one of the only 3 characters with a body pillow after all).

Like, if at least we had finished the anni charas first before that, i could have imagined "and now we're focusing on important franchise" and would have accepted it, but like. idk man. Fennie was right here, Sabrina if they wanted someone who could be sexy, and like. the Society snob is even more unforgiveable to me if we're just moving to popular saga while ignoring the popular saga which has an anni event yaknow? (like i'm not even big on the Society but this feels so??? out of place to me??? i was holding on to Cassius or Yatima at the Piano, re: Clair de Lune, but too much for themes i guess.). (like it may still happen!!! but wasted timing)

Or the fact two of the go two characters for those two events are little girls make it harder to sexualize. woopsies. If you chose Cosmos instead of Yuni maybe this wouldn't have been the problem. (not like i personally want it i love Yuni there, it's about the logic that seems to be going on))

and the summer charas still frustrate me so damn much. esp on chara like Magus and Horus who's designs aren't that different than their base sprites, except for just some inches of clothes removed lmaoooo what a joke. at least Tefnut got a new art? but the problem is still there.

and well, i'm mostly thanking it in a small voice because again i'm at a point of purely saturating, and as i play as Djeeta i think i would have seen Naru's scene without knowing Seofon's scene also existed, i would just have rage quited the game. The fact it's equal service fanservice barely salvages it to me.

(for all i talk about Seofon bc i encourage ppl on here and the inbox is down bad he's.... still not one of my favorite character nor someone i'd like to think of in this situation, but tbh i wouldn't have wanted to see any of my favs in this situation at all. maybe little ace things i guess. The only chara that could have made me let it slide would be Belial because at least it's on brand.)

so yeah no i'm just tired because it feels like hit after hit and i don't even have the time to forget about the previous hit, so it hurts double now and it is genuinely tiring me.

i'm trying not to let it bother me nor cloud my vision because i do love gbf so dearly so, but it's been trying my patience for sure.

but well. don't let me bitching get to you tho DLKJFDLKF those are my thoughts and well. shrugs. it is what it is. if that's the direction granblue wanna secure their fanbase with, godspeed. Too bad it's losing me a little tho.

[mechazushi]

Story Idea 6#

French Take The Lead but GAY, staring Michael Buble's Higher and Sabrina Carpenter's Looking at Me.

Honestly. What it says on the tin. Had this in the old file cabinet in the back for a year I think, and with the late news of Ice Adolescence being dropped and its Pride Month, here's a story for some one to take and make popular to spite Mappa execs

So I have no names for these people so its going to be Brother, his Sister, and the newcomer Hip because it stars a brother, his sister and a guy that did hip hop. Also, in case this wasn't obvious from the Take the Lead reference, they're all black. Brother is bald, btw (still handsome, just bald). And they live in France, kinda important?

Story goes as this. Brother and sister are an unbeatable ballroom dancing pair and have won several awards. There's no bitter rivalry undertones, they get along very well (with typical sibling shenanigans) but after a while, they decide enough is enough and part ways for a bit, wanting a break from the dancing scene. Few years later, they get back together and they are bored. Yeah, it was nice to get out of the spotlight for a while, but since then they have both been looking for different dance partners and have been failing miserably.

As they are discussing this on a lunch date, they walk through a local park and stumble across a live dance demonstration. It's a group of locals doing a free Hip Hop show and looking like they're just having fun. Both of them stop to watch and Sister gets really into the music. As a joke, the two of them try to make an improvised tango routine on the spot. This gathers both the crowd and the hip hop group's attention. Taking the competition in stride, the break dancers invite the ballroom dancers to a friendly dance off. The siblings agree and sh*t gets real. Halfway through the dance off, the other main character stumbles into Brother's arms and he instinctively plays it off. Hip and Brother look each other in the eyes and decide to floor it and go with the flow of the music. It's a lovely display and left the crowd feeling like the song ended too soon.

After the show, the siblings approach Hip and ask if he'd ever be interested in trying ballroom. He initially says no, but thanks anyway. They give him their number and separate. Something happens and now Hip need money (or some other excuse as to why he needs to try ballroom dancing/ add stakes) He goes back and, for whatever the reason is, explains upfront why he's doing this. (There would be no late stage misunderstanding of motives arc if I was going to make this myself, but I'm leaving this to public domain, I.e. you can if you want...I guess..) either way, he's ballroom dancing now.

How this gets gay, though, is explained by the second episode. Brother and Sister are trying to teach Hip how to dance fancily and its not going well. Hip is paired with Sister initially and he's stepping on toes and missing beats somehow. Once it becomes clear that Hip might need a different way of explaining, Brother steps in and miraculously, Hip is a better dancer now. Couple more rounds of this and It becomes clear that Hip can dance, but only if he's paired with Brother. So now the rest of the show is shipping fuel for Hip and Brother getting together and , you know, the actual plot of the story. Probably winning a competition or some typical bullsh*t. (But we're not here for that-we're here for french flavored yaoi 😁)

There is also a reason why I mentioned Michael's song Higher and its not that its a perfect tango song. I had an idea for a scene where Hip is thinking about quitting and Brother is trying to convince him not too. They're at the Arc de Triomphe and for those of you that may not know this, It's the square arch building in France and there's a massive roundabout surrounding it. And there's no lines separating traffic, its chaos.

Hip unknowingly walks out into traffic and almost gets hit by a car. Brother saves him, but is now stuck in traffic with him. Higher starts to play as the two of them find their rhythm again dancing through traffic, literally. At one point in the song, Brother manages to toss Hip into the air, slinging him one-handed over a car, and its played up as it's in slow-mo, with the two of them looking each other in the eyes in amazement, realizing that this is possible... they are possible. They make it to the other side safely and Hip reconsiders leaving behind his dream/goal.

There's another scene where the three of them walk into a more local, less stakes competition to practice in front of a crowd. The bouncer won't let them onto the floor as they're male-male partners and the rules haven't been changed to reflect the new times (This is a one off time for a joke i'm trying to set up, hold on). Hip gets pissed and has to walk away. Sister comes up with a brilliant idea and drags Hip into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, Hip and Sister changed outfits, with Hip looking deceptively feminine. Brother gives Hip a long hard look, evaluating the outfit while Sister douses herself in praise for the idea. Brother becomes lost in thought, wondering if this is possible (maybe a little questioning of his sexual identity as well). Unfortunately, he's staring right at Hip's chest in the dress.

"Excuse you, my eyes are up here." says Hip. An embarrassed Brother drags Hip to the dance floor and passes the bouncer, while the bouncer doesn't question anything. On another note, they won fourth place in the local competition.

[sattlersquarry]

Gonna send you another thing I hope you don't mind.

🍹What I want to see in s5 is Steve having an actual arc that isn't solely about his love life. I want him and Dustin to have deep conversations and finally give us a hug. I want Steve and Lucas to bond because they are fundamentally the same person, especially because we got robbed in s4. Kinda wish we get a conversation about popularity and their love for basketball, but realistically that won't happen. Still bitter it wasn't in s4 tho. And I want Steve to show emotions about Max, I need to know what's in his letter. In general I need to see him break down and finally acknowledge the trauma he went through since '83.

What I think we get tho is him still running after Nancy and how they set up s5 he will spend some time proving to Jonathan that he's a changed person because the Duffers can't let him move on and have to remind him he was the worst in high school. I think we'll get a good fight scene, but I don't think he'll die. Finn said every character gets the ending they deserve, and while I don't have high hopes for a meaningful Steve storyline, they will give one to Dustin. And Dustin wouldn't have a happy ending without his brother. There will be a scene where he'll do everything to keep Steve safe so he won't have to repeat the Eddie situation. The Duffers confirmed Dustin will be grieving Eddie, to take away Steve would be too cruel.

As for the general ending I have zero clues other than almost no main character (not sure about El and Jonathan) will die because Stranger Things was never a show where it ends in a massive massacre. I do think the show will be set in an apocalyptic setting and that the monsters from the UD will get to the real world. Kinda wish Nancy's vision comes true because idk why it was included otherwise. But yeah idk about the general ending bc I mostly care about Steve and his closest friends. I do wish he leaves the show with Robin and Dustin, everything else would be unacceptable lol. And lastly the Kas theory is complete bullshit and I hope Eddie stays dead.

I don't mind at all! Send as much as you want!

OOH my thoughts on all this below the cut!!!

I agree that I want Steve to have more of an arc. I'd love if he did find someone special though, but I don't want that to be all he does. He and Dustin definitely need to have a real heart-to-heart, especially now that Dustin's lost Eddie.

Steve and Lucas have so much in common! I think they could be as close as Steve and Dustin honestly. We deserved to see them bond more for sure, and I hope ST5 rectifies that.

WHAT IS IN STEVE'S LETTER?!!?! I want each letter read, but I especially want to know what Max put in his. I feel like we should've seen more of them bonding as well. One thing that really bugged me about Season 4 was Steve complaining about staying behind with the kids while Nancy and Robin went to the asylum. I feel like that's out of character compared to the Season 2 Steve that went so far to protect the kids. However, one could argue that Steve was so adamant to go to the asylum because he's so desperate to get answers for Max, which feels more in character.

The Duffers absolutely are going to try and force Stancy and I'm not happy about it :( Steve has changed sooo much and if Jonathan doesn't realize that at this point, he never will lol.

I also don't think Steve will die. I feel like the Duffers like his character so much. I think they'll tease his death, like how they did at the end of Season 4 Ep 6, but I don't think it'll actually happen. I agree that Dustin's happy ending includes Steve being safe.

I really really hope that no one dies, but that's probably wishful thinking 😅 My theory is that they'll kill off primarily side characters. For example, I think if Murray is in the season, he's going to be killed. I also could see them killing Karen Wheeler or something, if only to motivate Mike and Nancy in the final fight with Vecna.

I'll be furious if El dies—she deserves the happiest of happy endings! Jonathan dying would be so sad but he's been sidelined so much. I hope he gets a real proper storyline in Season 5.

I'm so down to see an apocalypse. I want Hawkins in shambles, as fucked up as that might be lol. I totally could see Nancy's visions coming true, with the monsters killing soldiers and flooding the town. Maybe that'll be the big final battle.

OOOOH I'm actually not even sure how I feel about the Kas theory. On one hand, the Duffers love to reference D&D creatures, so it makes sense to me. However, they follow the rule that if someone dies on screen, they're dead for real. (That's how they could bring Brenner back, because he only ever got attacked off screen.) I guess Eddie coming back as Kas would still follow that formula, because the theory hinges on Eddie dying completely and being resurrected, but I just don't know if the Duffers will go that far, you know? Also the cast is already insanely big, so they might keep him dead.

One thing I think about a lot is how is it even worth it to bring Eddie back? Like, if he comes back as Kas, what sort of happy ending could he even get? Or would they bring him back to just die again? That would suck, so I absolutely hope they don't do that.

[drbtinglecannon]

I have such mixed feelings on dalador

Cuz on the one hand

it's really funny

I feel like it could happen canonically, though hopefully years down the line rather than anytime soon

they were once so close as kids/teens but something happened and it led to bitterness and pain for decades that maybe can't ever be fully healed but can be remade into something new which has the potential to be sweet

But on the other hand

I think Darius' found family relationship with Eber & Hunter (and also Raine & Eda but not as close) is a billion times more important to his character and more compelling to me as a fan than dalador could ever be to the point I don't really care for it in comparison

it'd probably be plain unhealthy to even attempt dating for years given the amount of bitterness they had festering for decades

both Darius and Alador have the far more important task of fatherhood coming up (newly for Darius but Alador has been failing at it for years cuz of his neglect from his own abuse)

it's unfair to Em, Ed, and Amity for Alador to immediately hop into a new romantic relationship after all his years of neglect. Also Em & Ed weren't even around for the falling out between Alador and Odalia so they don't have that extra layer of understanding/acceptance that Amity does

it's unfair to Hunter too, like I imagine he'd unintentionally take that as a sign he's not actually wanted around if Darius was focused on a new relationship, and Hunter deserves all of Darius' attention

while Alador did ultimately choose the right side in the end, he actively helped make the rebellion more difficult all the way up until the end which almost got everyone Darius loves killed and that's uh, probably gonna be an issue for a while on top of the decades of bitterness. Add on he was the last to see the kids & now everyone's extra pissed at him. Like if Eda doesn't kill him Darius might himself

we don't know what caused their falling out and it could be extremely justified, so the lack of knowing for sure makes me a bit iffy

I feel like they're kinda fundamentally incompatible on bigger moral issues, the ways they approach magic, and personal ideologies. This isn't unchangeable but idk, I'm thinking about how Dana talked about Darius as a char and wonder how well that would mesh with Alador for a long term romantic situation

I know it's not really popular but after OTWAT I think daraeda is a way more interesting dynamic if I'm gonna ship Darius at all (tho under specific circumstances i.e. it's Raeda & Darius is very casually involved cuz I don't really see him as the type to settle down himself & Raeda is the OTP they're getting married it's non-negotiable it is happening in canon I am manifesting it... but anyway he occasionally goes on dates with them and such but for the most part he's doing his own thing which includes being Hunter's dad & Eber's bestie/brother & just his own personal time cuz he's a man that highly values his me time & I love that for him)

I still have mixed feelings on Alador after how he was acting in King's Tide (like dude... You're the adult be more mature? Also don't threaten a clearly abused child with sending him back to his abuser???? The fuck you were abused too dude you should have more compassion in such a situation. His moments with Amity were sweet but also I'm still mad they didn't go get the twins. All in all he's not off to a great start here)

I was vehemently opposed to it prior to COTH so I'm still not fully convinced

dalador being funny is the main reason I enjoy it which isn't a great reason imo lmao

out of the ships I think will happen/are canon, easily the one I care the least about by a wide margin

See found family point again cuz my god that reason is everything to me

[patroklides-archive]

so, now that i have played scarlet blaze, some thoughts! under the cut because spoilers.

THE GOOD

the premise of the route (and the game itself) is very interesting and i thought the game did an excellent job of showing how the characters have been impacted by the ripple effects of byleth being absent.

i really enjoyed getting to see a softer, warmer side of edelgard than what is shown in CF. i have a lot of thoughts on why, but in short: it has little to do with the difference between byleth and shez and everything to do with monica's fate. (i'm going to make an entire headcanon post about this at some point.)

i really enjoyed hubert and lysithea's supports, and after a bit of consideration i have decided to incorporate hubert having living siblings into his primary canon as well. marie and i are working on developing his sister and hashing out the specifics but i will make a big post once we have things nailed down.

ALSO HUBERT+HAPI SUPPORTS? COFFEE BUDDIES? I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED THEM TO HAVE SUPPORTS BUT THEIR SUPPORTS WERE PERFECT.

the game did a fantastic job of showing edelgard as someone who wants to minimize casualties and even had her explicitly say that she didn't want to kill rhea — which was also there in the first game, but ig it was too subtle for a lot of people becaue "edelgard wants to murder all the nabateans" is such a popular "edelgard critical" talking point lmao

i love everything about monica von ochs.

shez is a delight and they make for a FANTASTIC foil for byleth.

byleth having spoken dialogue is SO good bc i feel like while byleth's character is essentially the same as the base game, having them be voiced and not player-controlled means you get to see it from the outside, so it makes byleth feel like a character in a way that they didn't in the main game.

scarlet blaze's treatment of petra was a HUGE improvement over cf's. she gets much more agency, it's clear that she's there of her own volition and that edelgard sees her as an equal, and in particular, she's allowed to be angry and bitter (particularly in her supports with caspar).

the lords getting to actually talk to each other in the chasm???? edelgard and dimitri getting to actually speak???? edelgard and claude getting to actually WORK TOGETHER for their common goals??? GOD. it's not quite the "golden route" people wanted/hoped for but it's still very good.

the game's take on ferdie's relationship to his father is VERY good and i really enjoyed his supports with edelgard and hubert in this game.

edelgard not having any particular romantic interest in shez but then immediately going "sooooo 😳 what do you think about the ashen demon" to hubert as soon as byleth is recruited and talking about how she feels "drawn" to them is SO funny to me. A+. perfect. no notes.

THE LESS GOOD

the game very much feels like it's trying to "fix" three houses and/or respond to complains from the fans, to mostly good results, but there are a few instances of it trying to fix what's not broken. (the ferd.ithea supports, for example, and cute on their face, but feel a bit like a reaction to the people who thought that dorothea was unfair or too mean to ferdinand in the main game, which imo kind of... undermines their dynamic a bit.)

they just made the empire dads act just like their kids which feels like the laziest possible way of characterizing them. esp count varley. while they do have bernie acknowledge his abuse and she seems to have moved past being afraid of him into just not liking him/not caring about him, and i do like that in a sense, it feels like it's a bit at odds with what bernie says to byleth in their A support.

the ending felt a bit... underwhelming. i get that they wanted/needed to have rhea die but didn't want el to be the one to kill her, and there is something kind of poetic about thales and rhea killing each other, but i did just sort of stare at the screen like "...that's it?" when that happened and then after the game immediately ended.

i feel like i will have a lot more thoughts esp of the "mixed feelings" variety when i get to azure gleam given what i know of el's fate

[sunjaesol]

THE MANY CRUSHES OF LUKE PATTERSON... AND THE ONE THAT STUCK

💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌

1982

Luke Patterson's first crush ever was Haley Martin. He adored the colour of her hair — like the clementines his mom bought — and the way she finger-painted, enough for his four year old eyes to stare at her in awe.

He watched her make mud pies in the sandbox from the monkey bars, only to ruin them to get a rise out of her. He couldn't understand why she didn't like him the way he did, so he nagged his mom to explain.

"Teasing girls should be fun for them too, sweetheart," she soothed. "This Haley clearly didn't like it."

He blinked. "Huh?"

Her smile stayed warm, similar to hot chocolate and whenever grandpa conjured candies from behind his ear. "Why don't you share your grapes with her tomorrow? I'm sure she'll like that."

His nose scrunched up. "Why?"

"Because it's sweet, Luke."

"I don't get that," he shrugged. "But I'll try."

The next day, he sat beside her during storybook time and that seemed to help a little already. By the time it was lunch, her mood was lifted, which excited him too, and urged him to offer the grapes.

It earned him a featherlight kiss on the cheek.

Luke squeaked in surprise, flushing a firetruck red, to which she giggled and plopped another grape in her mouth.

Three days later, his crush was gone from his mind and he began sharing his grapes with his new friend Reginald instead.

1986

"Can you ask Jessica what she thinks of me?" Luke hurriedly whispered, eyes flickering between Reggie and the girl from across the courtyard.

Normally, Luke Patterson exuded confidence. The resident class clown, always opening his jaw to react to the teacher without raising his hand, catching fights with stupid classmates, sneaking into dad's stationwagon to create mixtapes.

Fearlessness was his freaking middle name. (It was actually Beck, but whatever. He wished it was something cool like Duran Duran though.)

But when it came to girls... he got so nervous. Because they were girls! He didn't understand them! They hated rambunctious boys and only listened to stupid pop music and blabbered about how they stole makeup from their sisters.

Jessica, however, somehow made his heart flutter and his stomach twist up. She just looked cool in her dungarees and she had a pretty smile and she didn't wear that overwhelming, sugary perfume that was now popular.

Reggie snickered, in the way only eight year old boys could. "You liiiiiiike her!"

"No!" He scowled. "I–I'm just curious."

"Sure," he drawled, but then shrugged in agreement, the oversized leather jacket rustling on his shoulders. He stole it from his older brother after he saw him kissing (!!!) some girl and figured it held some magic to impress the ladies with.

"Just do it!"

With a dramatic flourish, the boy left their hiding spot, Luke lurking around the corner of the alcove to watch. Jessica looked up from her hard work of creating friendship bracelets and smiled at Reggie.

Oh, gosh. She was pretty.

A minute later, a sheepish Reg slowly crawled back to him, cheeks red and fiddling with the zipper of his jacket.

Luke grabbed his shoulders, urgent. "What did she say?"

"Uh... well..."

"C'mon, dude!"

Reggie sighed. "She... likes me, buddy. Sorry."

His hopeful face crashed into one of devestation, quickly covering it up with a laugh and a squeeze of the shoulder. Oh, man, what would Steven Tyler do?

"That– that's dope!"

In the end, Reggie and Jessica were boyfriend and girlfriend for a week while he wrote an angry poem about how stupid dungarees were.

Huh... it was surprisingly good.

1988

"Hey, Luke," Gwenn greeted, shy, tucking her hands in her Camp Wacky Rocka hoodie. "I really liked that song you made about your guitar."

Jumping from the tree branch to the ground, Luke dazzled her with an appreciative smile. From above, Reggie and their new friend Alex watched on curiously.

"Thanks!"

Who would've thought that summer camp would be the first time he made a real, girl friend! Gwenn was super cool and she played the saxophone and she liked Joan Jett and her hair was all curly and big and it reminded him of pretty clouds.

Looking over her shoulder, he noticed a gaggle of girls staring at them. Like they were waiting.

Gwenn stared at him. "Can you close your eyes?"

He frowned. "Why?"

"Just 'cause."

Whatever. Maybe she wanted to show him something cool and would stick it in his hand. Complying, he closed his eyes and impatiently waited, bouncing on his heels.

"So?"

Suddenly, he felt a light, warm touch on his mouth and — oh! She was kissing him!

Luke staggered back in surprise, gawking at a blushing Gwenn as she squeaked a sorry and ran back to the now giggling and screeching girls. They ran away like a flock of birds.

It was a dare! His first kiss, stolen by a dare!

His boys jumped down beside him, awed.

Reggie hollered. "You kissed Gwenn!"

"I don't get it," Alex muttered.

Luke's face twisted up in a sour expression. Camp Wacky Rocka should be all about the music and becoming legends and Gwenn ruined it!

He stuck his tongue out. "Whatever. Let's go to the mess hall!"

1989

When Luke turned eleven, he kissed someone for real.

His birthday party was at the arcade, loud chatter and robotic sounds clashing together in an amazing cacophony. His parents hated the place, which is why Luke loved it.

Of the twenty guests, Yasmine clapped the loudest after he finished his song with the boys — Math Is For Losers! — and grabbed his hand as they walked to a duel game.

Luke felt fuckin' giddy the entire time. (Freakin' in front of his parents, fuckin' with friends.) The swoop in his stomach, his cheeks stretched into a wide beam.

Freshly eleven and the king of the arcade, he boldly asked if he could kiss her.

She smiled, her purple headband glittering in the neon lights, and nodded.

It was short and warm and her lips tasted like pink lemonade and sour gummies and it gave him an entirely new buzz. It was exciting.

He kissed her a couple more times the days after, eager and curious, until she claimed she was now only interested in twelve year old boys.

Since Luke now held the record of most kisses between him, Alex and Reggie, he wasn't too bothered by it. They shook hands, complimented each other on the kissing, and that was that.

1992

"Are you or are you not my boyfriend?" Olivia bit, crossing her arms.

Luke sighed, lazy gaze drifting from her to his band waiting by their bikes. Damn, he thought having a girlfriend would be way easier. Why was she so tense?

"I am," he said. "Why do you think I'm not?"

"Because you ignore me, like, all the time!" Pouting, she fiddled with the hem of her tartan skirt. "And now you're going to be with your band!"

He shrugged. "You can come with us and listen, if you want."

Luke met Olivia this year as deskmates in French class. Her raven hair was long and thick and her lips were all shiny from lip gloss and maybe he got a little cocky, thinking he could be dating the hottest girl of freshman year, so he naturally asked her out.

Maybe he should've considered beforehand whether they had anything in common, but he'd always been the overzealous type. And besides... she was a good kisser.

She scoffed. "That's not any better. Whatever. I'll just hang with Tina and Priscilla then. Laters!"

Plopping a kiss on his lips, she turned around and stalked to her whispering friends. Luke puffed, adjusted the beanie and made his way to the boys.

Girls were confusing.

"I bet dating boys is easier," Alex mused. "Like, equally terrifying, but also... easier. I think. Maybe."

Bobby laughed. "How's the girlfriend, Luke?"

"Ha ha," he deadpanned. "Let's go. I got this new song, Crooked Teeth, and it's a fucking banger!"

Olivia broke up with him after Sunset Curve's first, official gig at the arcade with the explanation that he loved music more than her. He never loved her to begin with, so maybe that was the problem.

She made out with Bobby that same night.

Holy shit, man. He supposed that bitter feeling at the sight of them tasted like rock 'n roll, the one thing he actually craved.

What a funny, funny feeling. (He wrote a hell of a lot of songs about it after. He never quite looked at Bobby the same way either.)

1995

"Hey, Maisie." Leaning against the locker beside the girl, he shot her a million dollar smile. "You comin' to our gig tonight? It's at The Orpheum."

Maisie was fucking awesome. Always in short, flowery dresses and fishnet tights and thick eyeliner like a rockstar, always listening to something new on her walkman. She came from a rich family, but that didn't hinder them from becoming friends.

Her jaw fell slack in awe, him instantly gaining more confidence. Ducking his head to meet her eye, he leaned a little closer. He knew damn well what he was doing, and he got a thrill every time it worked.

"Really?" She gasped. "That's awesome! I'll so be there!"

"Sweet," he grinned. "And stay after too."

A brow quirked up, intrigued. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Just 'cause."

"Right," she drawled. "Nothing is 'just because' with you, Luke."

"And that's why you gotta stay," he teased, nudging her shoe with his. "To find out."

If they rocked that gig and he felt like a fucking legend, he hoped it would end with the two of them hooking up. He wasn't interested in dating — having learned his lesson after Olivia — and he knew she wasn't either, but she was fun.

And that was the most important to him: to have fucking fun. Luke Patterson was here for a good time, not a long time.

And if nothing happened between him and Maisie, then he'd still feel like a legend. In a couple of hours, he was going to play at The Orpheum! How gnarly was that?!

2022

Twenty-seven years later, Luke was still seventeen years old. While he preferred to not question the science behind ghostly activities — he flunked physics anyway — he was happy that he froze at this age.

Because Julie was seventeen, too.

And, man. He was madly in love with her.

He loved everything, from the babyhairs curling around her ears, to her voice and compassionate soul, to her beautiful smile, all the way to her cute, doodled sneakers.

Her epic music taste, her snark, the way she always found his gaze, the way she finished his lyrics, the way she always knew what to say to make him feel better.

His heart melted to a flickering candle whenever she hugged him, a raging wildfire erupting between every kiss. He was a fool for her.

"Stop moving," she giggled, one hand coming up to hold his chin.

He grinned, "Sorry, Jules."

Shifting closer, she dabbled more glitter on his cheeks. They were playing at a black-light club tonight, so Julie and Flynn bought all the glow in the dark makeup available at the store for the occasion.

They looked ridiculous in daylight, Julie's weirdly pink lipstick claiming all his attention, but he knew they'd look fucking cool once the lights went down.

"You want to watch a movie after the gig?" she whispered.

Luke rolled his eyes, playful. "You're gonna fall asleep."

"Yeah." With a bashful tilt of the shoulder, she leaned in closer. "But then you'll be with me."

"Julie! How scandalous," he teased, though his chest swelled at the thought of having some alone time, some cuddle time, with Julie.

"So?"

Murmuring a yes, he closed the little distance to kiss her, sealing the deal, only for her to chase after him — an attempt to wipe the lipstick stain off his lips.

"Nah, keep it." A smirk grew. "So the people know."

She tsked. "Idiot."

"You like it."

"I'm still taking it off though, seeing as you're supposed to be a hologram," she pointed out. "But... you can kiss my lipstick away after the show."

He sighed, dreamy. "I love you."

Finishing his glitter and removing the stain, she dazzled him with a satisfied smile. "Love you too."

She rose up from the couch and went to search for Reggie, the boy likely with Carlos. For a moment, Luke was alone in the studio, allowing himself to sink into that warm, fuzzy feeling.

No matter how many blunders he went through with girls — Haley, Jessica, Gwenn, Yasmine, Olivia, Maisie — they all prepared him, in one way or the other, for Julie.

To not only recognise when an awesome girl was standing right in front of him, but also how to treat her — because Julie Molina deserved the fucking world.

Even if that world now included the supernatural.

Whatever. They were all a little crazy.

💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌

@bluefirewrites @blush-and-books @pink-flame @ourstarscollided @constantly-singing @unsaid-emily @willexx