#<- tagging bc that’s where i see this characterization of steve the most

[livwritesstuff]

just came to the realization that my dad is so steve harrington-coded (actually my dad came first so steve is so my dad-coded)

my dad (a seventies kid, eighties teenager), played every sport under the sun, was very popular, captain of the football team in high school, and president of his frat in college.

all of this was news to me because as a fifty-something-year-old adult, he is completely asocial, obsessed with his garden, and exclusively listens to three fourteen-hour playlists he made by himself on spotify

they are aptly called upbeat jazz (self explanatory), rockin tunes (80s rock), and classical (also self explanatory)

sometimes he’ll shake things up and listen to hadestown the musical for a week straight

he is a very proud house-husband, a cat guy, wears the same clothes he’s had since 1998, and is VERY particular about wine and the shape and size of his coffee mugs. Anytime he accomplishes anything he always says that he “rocked it” and when things dont’t go to plan, it’s, “well that’s bogus”.

he’s a subtle wife-guy, a total pushover, has a rocky relationship with his parents, and always jumps in to help people even when he has no clue what’s going on.

(once, when our town was hit by a hurricane, a tree fell across the road near our driveway and when he saw people were trying to drive around it and getting stuck, he fired up the chainsaw and took care of it. he kept the tree for firewood).

anyways all this to say that there is real-life data to support the jock-teenager to lame af-adult pipeline i’ve seen people loving for steve and it’s great.

[hitlikehammers]

taste like loving

rating: t ♥️ cw: pre-relationship-to-established relationship, SUCH FLUFF ♥️ tags: idiots in love, pickles, slice of life, softness

for @steddielovemonth day seven: Love Is Silently Passing Them A Pickle Because You Know It’s Their Favorite (@steddieasitgoes)

@pearynice and @hbyrde36 suffered my languishing over this more than once; it felt wrong to delete it (which was the original plan) 🥒 (and yes I am well aware this is VERY late for @steddielovemonth but I had this one and one more that I never got to post bc schedules and I still wanted to...not-delete them? so the other one will go up sometime before the 29th's over worldwide) ♥️

The first time he notices is the first time they all hang out after he’s discharged. The first time it feels almost normal. Eddie’s still not mobile enough to leave the couch at most—at least a little variety of the one-room view of his bedroom, at least—but this.

This is awesome. Because there’s no hospital to remind him of the way he’s a mishmash of still-healing incisions that he can ignore if he doesn’t move wrong, or breathe to deep, and when he does breathe to deep and reminds himself it’s for laughing, it’s a raucous and joyful thing and it’s wild in a way he never knew he was missing because—or else, he thinks because—probably there wasn’t a deep pit inside him full of all the horrors they saw and stood against together, and so he’s got this new capacity to be bowled over and filled past the brim with a kind of giddy, buoyant relief that’s unbound in ways he probably didn’t dare to even tease at, despite all his ranting about conformity and letting your fucking freak flag fly: he never could have envisioned a time he could be this unbound. Untethered.

Just…fucking free.

Because these people have seen his literal fucking insides, right? One of them held those insides in his hands, held them where they belonged long enough for him to be sitting here cackling with them, aching for the jostling of his laughter but hell if it’s not worth it, if he pops a stitch or two he won’t even fucking complain because these people saw him inside-out, y’know, and from the first he felt safe with them, with all of him, spoken and unspoken because it really felt, for the first time, like all of the things that mattered to the world at large, that could get you killed in the wrong company: it all felt…dulled; distant, after what he’d seen.

What he’d survived.

So in the now: home, on the couch, with the Buckley and Harrington tag-team feature show splitting his fucking sides and making him feel like he’s drowning in only good things and breathing full for the first time in his fucking life—

That’s when he first notices it happen.

They’re opening the boxes with deli sandwiches from Leeanne’s down off Brooklyn, the big towering fuckers with the toothpicks in the center to hold them together, and Eddie’s fucking ecstatic about the Reuben he’s staring down because real-not-hospital-cafeteria food is still an honest goddamn thrill, but he sees Steve flip open his monstrous looking Club and it’s not even all the way flipped back, the top half of the little foldy-box, when Robin slips her equally-big-ass dill spear next to the one lined up against the bread of Steve’s lunch, flashing an overstretched grin as she plops it down:

“For my Dingus,” she nods to him almost graciously and he chuckles before he picks it up and chomps it almost…almost aggressivelyand yes, okay, fine: Eddie notices because he pays attention to his friends, especially some of his very best friends, but yeah, sure, he probably notices Steve’s biting enough to characterize it because, well.

And look, see: after Steve had set himself up as permanent guardian at his bedside?Eddie might not have had all the reasons for it, all the answers to the whys, but he did have Steve Harrington in the flesh beside him always, kinda day and night, and after that? Eddie had stopped telling himself it was useless, the things he was feeling, all the relentless want in him. It might still be hopeless—just because he knew now that Steve swung that nail bat for both teams didn’t mean he’d want Eddie specifically by default—but there was no harm in feeding the deathless little lust-monster that’d lived in him from sophomore year, and that now, fed by the knowledge that Steve Harrington was beauty and brawn and brains in a way no one never expected because it wasn’t theirs, all on top of a heart of fucking 

: the monster was now a full-grown beast that wasn’t…just prone to lust, anymore.

Whatever, though. Eddie could fucking look.

So he noticed the way Robin gave Steve her pickles. The way he playfully accepted and usually leaned into her, grateful and tactile in their shared-brain kind of way.

And if he keeps noticing, what the fuck else is he expected to do? The more he learns, the closer they grow, the stronger and bigger and louder his not-lust creature gets, its stomping like a riot in his pulse save no, that’s actually just his heartbeat for what it is: hopelessly and pathetically and godawfully smitten, kinda recklessly and unrepentantly devoted, and he…

Okay, so in the beginning, Eddie knows it’s a long shot. He knows what he was doing, but it’s easy to play off as something…less. Something just playful, instead of playful-and. He already sits next to Steve when they’re all together, on a floor or a sofa or in a booth: he’s expected there. That is his place. One side him, one side Robin.

Robin even takes across-from-Steve when there aren’t enough spaces. Eddie has somehow…made the cut.

He isn’t throwing a fucking party inside his ribs about it or anything, but.

(Yeah, he is.)

But it starts small, and sorta-almost-casual: when he pops his pickle on Steve’s plate the first time. And Steve blinks at him, tilts his head in that way Eddie associates with softness, with safety, with something so adorably protective, cute and yet let herbal, on alert while breathing slow: and there’s something irresistible in the dichotomy of it that has Eddie’s pulse ramping-up by instinct at just the little gesture, the little tip of the chin and then Steve’s grinning, slow but so big, and at him, and, okay. Okay, yes, fine.

Eddie may or may not be playing this like one of those fucking birds that brings pebbles to court their intended, that drops shining little bits and bobs of nothing special that mean everything special as they try to convince their mate they’re a good bet. It may or may not be a thing he should be at least a little embarrassed of, whatever.

The way Steve chomps with fucking gusto on that pickle though: the way he grins as he chews and keeps his eyes locked on Eddie’s the whole goddamn time?

Eddie’s not gonna be embarrassed of jack shit, if he gets that in exchange.

He’s also sure as shit not going to stop, when he gets that in exchange.

He tries to up his game as the gesture extends, expands: he does his best to make it clear that he fucking loves his beloved briny cucumbers, that the way he saves them and gifts them to Steve isn’t just mimicry of his platonic soulmate; that it’s deliberate and intentional and he��s willingly and willfully forgoing something he loves for something he loves—yeah, yeah he’s ready to say that, at least in his head, because the days turn to weeks turn to months and there’s no fucking denying it anymore—so very much more, and he just…wants to make sure Steve notices. Knows it and, like, whether he decides to act on it or not, Eddie just wants him to know that a choice was there to make, right? Like, he doesn’t want it to go unnoticed.

It’s only once Steve sucks half a spear through his lips, hollows his mouth wholly unnecessarily and positively sinfully, and puckers around the pickle with wide pleading but teasing, goddamn teasing eyes trained on Eddie expectantly with the bare half sticking out his mouth, an invitation from where he sits next to Eddie at the table: it’s only then that Eddie thinks maybe there was hope after all.

He bites the loose half clear just shy of brushing Steve’s lips because he’ll be damned if their first kiss—if this is where it’s headed, if this is really possible and a thing—he’ll be fucking damned if he kisses Steve Harrington for the first time over a fucking vegetable.

Given the way Steve’s lips ultimately close around a pout all on their own: Eddie thinks…yeah. Yeah, that’s where they’re headed.

Their first kiss is very much not-pickle-flavored, but they laugh about the almost of it, once they settle comfortably into a version of ‘we’ that’s not entirely unlike the one they had before; this one just says the love part out loud. Which honestly kind of highlights how much it was there, just unspoken, almost the whole goddamn time. Which is wild.

Then of course it grows. There’s always a jar of pickles on their shopping list, because there’s always a need when the last one’s always empty. Sometimes because he wanted something to eat in the middle of the night. Sometimes because he feeds a slice to Steve Lady and the Tramp style, and does lick the taste from him after, now, not because it isn’t momentous; kissing Steve. But more because it’s…it’s going to be momentous again, whenever he wants.

For, like, ever.

Though it’s carrying on in that fashion that kinda leads in to, about a year-and-change and going strong, Eddie getting his mind goddamn blown.

It starts, mostly, with Eddie thinking—mistakenly—that his boyfriend’s not gonna be late for dinner and honestly, Eddie just doesn’t want the spear to get all warm and floppy so he figures he’ll quick eat the ones he set out, cannot let a delicious pickle go to waste, and he’ll get a fresh one for the plates when Steve gets in, no problem, he’ll just—

He’s maybe almost fucking fellating the pickle when Steve clears his throat unexpectedly from the doorway to the kitchen.

“Am I interrupting?” the arch of his brow is enviable, and the giddy delight in his tone is delectable, and Eddie wants him to come over and kiss the fucking blush he feels just lightly heat his cheeks as he tries to decide what to do because…

Eddie’s never not given his pickle to Steve, or not shared his pickle with Steve, in Steve’s presence, okay? It’s just…that’s for Steve.

And Steve probably wouldn’t be grossed out with Eddie’s slobber all over it, but, like, he deserves better by default any—

Steve’s next to him before he fully notices him crossing the distance, and he’s nudging Eddie’s hand with just a finger, pressing the pickle past his lips, slow enough to chew but steady with the pressure, and hell if it’s not erotic as fuck.

Steve goddamn Harrington.

And he smirks when Eddie swallows with a gulp, leans to kiss him and comments kind of idly:

“That was hot, babe.”

Eddie huffs, and then looks at the pickle-less plates and remembers.

“I’m so sorry, Sweetheart, I’d have kept it for you, but I wasn’t sure how long you’d be—“

“Eds, relax,” Steve laughs, unbothered; “you don’t have to save me the pickle. I buy you whole jars.”

Eddie frowns a little, because that wording sound…off. He’s not quite sure why, until Steve picks up on his confusion, the grit caught in the works that he can’t pick out, because Steve always notices; and Steve always finds the catch to smooth it clean.

He’s amazing that way.

“They’re your favorites,” he goes and grabs the jar in question from the fridge, pops the lid and meticulously catches the drip on the glass lip before offering it to Eddie with a smile so warm Eddie can feel it in his knees, because it fucking makes them melty and shit even now; he prays it’ll never stop making them melty and shit, honestly, but—

“I never even really liked them, until you.”

And that’s the part that catches Eddie up entirely, almost chokes him on the end of his hand-fed pickle feast.

“What,” he pauses, clears his throat; “what d’ya mean?”

“Robin fucking hates them,” Steve shrugs, still smiling that knee-targeting smile; “so she always pawned them off on me, and I didn’t have any strong feelings either way, but then,” he reaches, traces Eddie’s lips and gathering any stray juice before sucking his thumb between his lips to clean it off. Eddie almost fucking feels his pupils dilate.

“You know I wanted it to mean something from the beginning,” Steve says simply, because Eddie did know; “and then when I found out it wasn’t just, like, convenient, but you liked them so much yourself, then it felt,” and then Steve’s biting his lip, which is that knife’s edge between adorable and hot-hot-sex that regularly threatens to explode Eddie goddamn brain, but than he’s smiling again, a little softer, a lot more fond:

“It felt like they meant you liked me,” Steve ducks his head solely to glance through his lashes, a little bashful even still; “it felt like it maybe meant you, you know, maybe, like maybe you loved me?”

And Eddie can’t handle the question mark there, dives in and kisses Steve sound and sure and licks his way in to rub away that bit of punctuation that could ever possibly cast any doubt on Eddie’s feelings at basically any point they’ve shared fucking air.

“It tastes like that, now.”

Eddie cocks his head a little.

“What tastes like what, baby?”

Steve leans and licks into Eddie mouth again, but this time it’s got direction, like he’s seeking something, but then just as quick he pulls back, though not far, and looks up at Eddie with a little extra curl to his lips as he murmurs between them:

“I fucking adore pickles, now. Because they kinda taste like you loving me.”

And Jesus H., this man is gonna kill him.

And Eddie—who can do nothing less than capture Steve’s lips again and let him taste this particular flavor of loving as long and as deep as he wants—Eddie kinda thinks that’ll be a fucking glorious way to go.

tag list (comment to be added): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 

♥️

divider credit here

[kaylawritesfics]

Marvel: Fic Rec 1

A collection of marvel fics that I’ve recently read that I thought were really good!

march 28, 2021

| Avengers |

@ijustwant2write : That’s Just Wrong (Avengers x lesbian!reader)

‘coming out to the avengers as a lesbian who likes pineapple on pizza and they’re super taken back - not cos ur a lesbian but cos of ur pizza taste’

this one is a super cute coming out story i loved it so much

| Bucky Barnes |

@moteldwelling : good girl (bucky x fem!reader)

bucky and reader turn eachother on with pet names, and smut ensues. dirty talk, couch sex, praise kink. this sort of turned into dom!bucky idk it just happened LOL

@crispychrissy : Healing (1940s!bucky x nurse!reader)

Tasked with examining the injured soldiers that were liberated from the Hydra factory, one sergeant in particular gives you a run for your money.

this one is one of my favorites

@tuiccim : Almost Had Me Believing It (Series Masterlist) (bucky x reader)

An undercover operation playing Bucky Barnes’ wife is a dream come true. Playing house in the suburbs while trying to take down a drug ring brings you and Bucky closer but a nosy neighbor causes trouble in paradise.

this is one of my all time favorite bucky series

@imaginexmeintheuniverse : Dog Tags (bucky x reader)

For your Christmas drabbles, could you write Bucky gifting the reader his old dog tags?

@pinkettepoet : In Which She Knows That They Don’t Know (bucky x reader) (avengers x reader) part 2

could you write a buckyxreader/avengersxreader where they like all forget her bday bc there’s just been a lot of stuff going on so even though she’s kinda upset about it she doesn’t blame them and something happens and they all realize what day it is and they go all out to throw her a party and it’s just really fluffy and happy avengers family? Sorry it’s kinda long!

| Loki Laufeyson |

@angelkurenai : One Moment (Loki x reader)

You have found a way to undo the damage Thanos did and bring everyone you lost back, all of your loved ones or at least most of them. As you travel back in 2012, however, you run into someone who is far too familiar. Unable to let go, even after all these years, of the death of the man - or basically god - you loved so much you forget all about the mision and decide to have one more moment with the one who sacrificed his life to save yours out of love.

@beskar-tano : Just A Taste (Loki x reader)

On a brisk walk through Central Park, Loki tries earth’s hot chocolate for the very first time.

@obscure-imagines : Loki x Valkyrie!Reader

imagine: being a Valkyrie that Loki was always in love with and when you show up in Sakaar he’s really excited to see you again

loki fangirling over the valkyrie reader is my aesthetic

@gingerwritess : Loki x reader

I’ve got a question I’d love for you to answer, because I simply adore your characterization of Loki. What sort of nicknames do you think he’d call his s/o? Both the lovey-dovey ones and the playful mean ones

this is so soft i love it

@too-attached-to-fiction : A Night In The Gardens (Loki x reader)

#2: ���It’s nearly midnight, what are you doing?”

@justeclipseblogs : Complicated (2012!loki x goddess!reader)

Based on Avengers (2012), where instead of Thor going after Loki - it’s Thor and his friend, Reader, who happens to be Loki’s… well, it’s complicated.

this is one of my favorite loki fics and i would love to see a part 2 to it

@yourfavouriterival : i will always love you; how i do (loki x reader)

@beskar-tano : Undying Fidelity (Loki x reader)

“I was just kind of hoping you’d y’know … fall in love with me.” + Loki Laufeyson Odinson

@jobean12-blog : A Smile In Bloom (loki x reader)

You and Loki bond over your mutual love for plants :)

@rorybutnotgilmore : Exist For Love (loki x reader)

Just some domestic baking and dancing with Loki.

| Natasha Romanoff |

@lethological-clara : Bikes and Bruises (natasha x reader)

Natasha teaches you how to ride a bike.

@saltybaltic : Downpour (natasha x reader)

Walking through the streets of New York you get caught in a torrential downpour and have to find cover

@saltybaltic : Save The Date (natasha x wife!reader)

On the day of your third wedding anniversary with Natasha, you realise that you’ve both been celebrating the wrong date

@saltybaltic : Cat Walk (natasha x reader)

Being friends with Natasha isn’t always easy, especially when you’re supposed to be helping her pick an outfit and you’re struggling to keep your mind out of the gutter.

gay panic

| Peter Parker |

@starshipsofstarlord : Screen Light (peter x reader

watching a movie does not always entail paying attention to it. However, there is innocence to the picture perfect distraction.

@baroquebucky : Truly, Madly, Deeply (peter x reader)

Truly, Madly, Deeply by One Direction with Peter Parker

one direction and peter parker is the perfect combo

@buckysbeloved : of sleep and safety (peter x reader)

in which peter parker slumps into your room exhausted and you have to try and get him into bed despite the height difference between you

| Pietro Maximoff |

@dem-obscure-imagines : Little Stark (Pietro x stark!reader)

Could you do an imagine of being Tony’s snarky sarcastic clever badass part-time Shield agent sister and Bruce’s best friend and therefore spends a lot of time in their lab while they’re your favorite people you are also brilliant, and therefore they also see Pietro always hanging around because he has a crush on you and Tony is protective big bro and everyone else just teases Pietro??

@helaintoloki : Meet The Family (Pietro Peter Maximoff x reader)

An innocent family dinner with Pietro’s new girlfriend reveals that life in Westview is not what it seems. Uncle Pietro introduces y/n to the family!

This one is sweet with a touch of Westview darkness

| Pepper Potts |

@rae-is-typing : Mother’s Day (mom!pepper x stark!reader)

It’s Mother’s Day, and you surprise your step mom Pepper

| Steve Rogers |

@ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark : Why Do You Hate Me So Much? (steve x reader) (slight bucky x reader)

You spend your whole life loving Steve Rogers, unfortunately he can’t even spare a minute to love you.

i really want a part 2 to this one

| Thor Odinson |

@rae-is-typing : She’s Not Dying (platonic!thor x reader)

You have a cold, and Thor thinks you’re dying.

| Wanda Maximoff |

@cap-n-stuff : wanda maximoff x reader

Wanda x reader angst (like reader gets hurt or dies maybe idrk lmao)

@beskar-tano : wanda x reader comfort headcanons

[starvels]

Fic Writer Interview Meme

tagged in this a while ago by the lovely @oluka ! thank you, bluebonnet!

name: starvels/dinosaur/dinostar/di/star or any combination thereof

fandoms: currently i have open fic documents for: marvel (616, 3490, AA, MCU and a secret one ~), naruto (yes i know 😪), avatar: the last airbender and fullmetal alchemist. i’m also obsessed w the locked tomb books over at @camillaloudhect

two-shot:

it's taking everything, it's taken everything is a legitimate two-shot about sex pollen trope subversion. it’s sad as hell and i’m rly proud of its style/narrative construction

funnily, are we satellites? is actually listed as a two-shot bc the map chapter that showcases s/t’s roadtrip path

and actually fourth time's a charm is a two chapter fic as well. it’s was a lil pinch-hit for stevetony secret santa about sparring and love confessions that i sometimes forget i wrote lol

most popular (marvel) fics:

by the numbers

wear it like a message: (v funny bc i’ve never had a person off of ao3 talk to me about this fic at all 😂) it’s a s/t ensemble cast kinkmeme fic about domestic shenanigans and dogtags/rings

we were meant for love: it’s the first in the we were meant verse about cliche, happy-no-hurt AU s/t falling in love at first sight

by measures of people asking me about it:

are we satellites? that steve/tony 616-inspired roadtrip with nature metaphors, takes the cake for sure

followed by some combination of any of my (overtly) trans fics like name it ever after which is a 3490 exploration and the firefighter/pyrokinetic as we touched and burned

actual worst part of writing:

that bit where you are 75% done with a piece and you can see the end and you know basically what you have to do to complete it all, but it’s SO close to being done that you’ve maybe started looking at other projects already/started crossing it off in your mind as done already.

that’s a hard space for me to be in and i run into it on anything over like 7-8k. i think the reason why is because the pacing of the writing changes so drastically - i will write 1k/hr easy when i’m in the zone, but when you get to 75%, you’ve got to start editing, nit-picking at things, being careful, filling in spaces, etc. that’s hard and i usually require handholding to get through that part lol.

how you choose your titles:

almost always a song lyric. i’m obsessed with finding new music and i’m constantly listening to different niche subgenres. when i find a song that fits the vibe of a fic i’m writing i will either listen to it ON REPEAT for the entire writing. wild! or i will make a playlist from it to write to. i like to pay homage to that inspiration.

occasionally, i will also do a word association tree and just nit pick through combinations like for syntax of bones

do you outline:

i generally do not and i would not recommend this style of life for other folks. it’s pure chaos lmfao.

i doubt that i will ever outline short (<6k fic) but i’ve been trying to be better about writing small outlines for mid-long length fics. i went through a phase when i was writing long fic a lot where i was doing a ton of moodboards and drawing of plot lines and literally breaking things down day by day for the text - which was fun! but i think there’s a balance b/w that and not outlining at all that i need to find somehow haha.

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice:

listed a bunch here and here! but also

more poly fic - janstevetony, carolrhodeytony, caroljessrhodey, janesamthor, etc! this is more about having background comic knowledge to do justice to each character. so much to read...

young avengers fic! this is actually really likely bc i truly do love otgay more than i love any other ensemble in marvel, and i did recently catch up on death’s head/strikeforce/empyre but i feel like i would need to do more specifically Fic Research to adequately get a handle on how to characterize everyone. and i haven’t done that yet lol.

war-time 616 steve’s relationship to gender/sexuality

mcu natasha/pepper start a relationship before im2, emotional fall out from the events of im2, tony both thumbs-up in the background

callouts @ me:

di, belief in yourself is the best writing tool you have! believe in your words. give them attention, give them water, give them space in your life. let writing be a habit for yourself and cultivate it how you would any other plant cutting. turn into challenges, bc they’re what keep you lively and growing. let your work be an average, rather than striving to make everything you produce your best thing ever. be kind and gracious with yourself.

prioritize EDITING before posting, oh my god, di.  щ(゜ロ゜щ)

best writing traits:

prose/description is the most commonly complimented aspect of my writing! and i agree :’) i really do love to play with the inherent poetry of human existence. i also think i am good at setting up emotional tension (i want people to FEEL as much as i do all the time) and crafting a subversive narrative (starting with a climax and exploring resolution/genre blending/turning tropes upside down/talking about gender/queer experiences through a non-cishetero lens, etc.)

tangential opinion: “Friends and support are a thousand times more important for your well-being as a writer than anything else.” - oluka

gonna echo this, actually! i’m a part of a lot of og writing groups and its really taught me how essential feeling safe talking about your work and sharing it is. that’s how you develop inspirations. s’why i’ve been attempting to slide back into discord lately, as i get into marvel again haha.

also, tbh, don’t be afraid to like things! enjoy what you enjoy and do so wholeheartedly and unabashedly. don’t be ashamed of feeling things - about your writing or as inspiration for your writing!

tagging: i do NOT know who has done this already sorry! but i’d love to hear from @viudanegraaa @hungerpunch @alexenglish @ironlawyer @msermesth @welcomingdisaster @veryvincible (if you already did it, link me pls!)

[overclocksaa]

mindwipe: world’s most wanted - present

i keep putting off actually talking about the ins and outs of this because it’s awful and terrible and all kinds of painful, but it’s probably better to just bandaid it and get it done.  i don’t even have to have my standard “forget what the mcu told you” warning for this because disney probably wouldn’t touch this part of it with a ten foot pole (well, technically i guess they kind of did with the whole barf nonsense but only in an oblique way so you can forget the barf nonsense if you want to - it doesn’t apply to 616).

so.  i mention the mindwipe a lot, in my rambling, in tags, in threads, because it’s kind of one of the (newer) foundations upon which tony’s modern characterization is built, at least since the post-civil war era forward.  and to understand why it’s such a huge part of his characterization you have to go back to civil war and move forward.

so in 616, civil war started over a piece of (american) legislation.  the superhuman registration act (you’ll see it basically referred to as shra literally everywhere, including the actual canon bc that’s a mouthful) was - at a passing glance - similar to the sokovia accords (yes, you can throw the sokovia accords in the trash, too), but was in actuality a much more insidious thing.

disclaimer: it’s my personal belief - and the place i approach civil war from - that 1. no one was right on either side of the war.  tony did things that weren’t good, steve did things that weren’t good, they both tore each other down until they ended up in that street with tony begging steve to finish it and kill him, a lot of mistakes were made on both sides.  there’s a reason the universes where things don’t come to a head either have tony and steve off the playing field or working together to fix shra into something they can accept.  and 2. that there was some emotional manipulation of tony on the pro-shra side of things and that miriam sharpe wasn’t on the up and up completely, because there’s a ton of evidence that’s exactly the case though it’s never strictly spelled out; whether it was orchestrated by the government to get the superheroes under their thumb, the skrulls, or by norman osborn is anyone’s guess, but someone was pulling the strings.

don’t touch my tinfoil hat.

okay, so let’s talk about shra.  something like it had been in the works for a very long time, spawning from all kinds of anti-mutant legislation and swelling to encompass all powered people and those of the superhero profession.  the claim was that left as they were, they were dangerous, and stamford was used as the straw that broke the camel’s back to bring it to the forefront.  sidebar:  stamford, connecticut was the site of one of those national tragedies, you know, one of those things that’s going to haunt the entire country forever.  basically, the new warriors - a group of superheroes because there are several groups of superheroes in 616, not just the avengers - were filming a reality show about being superheroes (kind of like a superhero version of cops, i guess, is that reference too old?) and ran into some seriously nasty bad guys hiding out in this little town. one of those was a guy called nitro, who basically can blow up at will.  well, when confronted, what do you think he did?  that’s right, he blew the fuck up.  in front of a school.   casualties were enormous, the avengers themselves spent a lot of time recovering survivors and bodies.  it was awful.

m-day also plays a role here (you know, where wanda was literally like “no more mutants” and like literally almost the entire population of the world’s mutants suddenly weren’t mutants anymore and a whole lot of other things happened and there was house of m and...it’s a long story, you should read the relevant comics for more info if you want), because it’s the real reason shra (or its predecessor) was even relevant at the time of stamford.  not entirely relevant to mindwipe but still good to know.

so basically shra worked like this:  if you were of the superhero type and did things as a superhero, it was required by law you reveal your identity and register with the government.  obviously a lot of superheroes had a real big problem with this (see: peter parker revealed his identity as spider-man and then immediately regretting that decision and going to the other side in the war).  it wasn’t necessarily public knowledge?  but hinky enough people who didn’t need to see it could probably find a way to actually see it. it was dangerous.  it was a bad idea, it’ll never not be a bad idea.   hell, i’m convinced tony knew it was a bad idea even if he was pro-shra simply because as much as he later is like “i did what i did because it was the right thing to do” what it basically translates to is “someone had to be on that side of things to make sure everyone else stayed safe and it might as well have been me”.  

there was also some other terms and stipulations within shra that aren’t exactly relevant to the mindwipe that’ll i’ll talk about another day, but it basically included having to get a license to superhero and undergo training and there was the 50 states initiative and...it was involved.

so flash forward a bit to cap almost killing tony in the street and realizing what he’s doing and letting himself be taken into custody before he can actually go through with it.  at this point tony’s already director of shield and they have a little chat (and by little chat i mean steve is furious with tony) about tony’s mental health and what extremis has done to tony and whether or not this means tony’s won and it’s a mess.  they don’t end that conversation on a good note.  it’s more...”well, you’re a sore loser, captain america.”  “you bet.”

flash forward a teeny bit and steve’s being taken to his arraignment, notices a laser sight on the guard leading him up the steps, jumps in front of it to take the bullet, chaos everywhere, and the next thing you know, steve rogers is dead.  (well, only kinda dead, there’s a princess bride joke in there somewhere but civil war and steve’s death makes me sad and tired and i can’t make it.)

cue tony losing his shit. i don’t mean he gets a little sad.  i mean he locks himself in with steve’s body on the helicarrier and at first talks to it like steve is alive and sitting there and willing to listen before he utterly and completely breaks down and by the end is ugly crying so fucking hard you probably wouldn’t even be able to understand him if you could hear him.  also secondary disclosure:  i’m in the camp that this - the confession - is about as close to a love confession from tony stark to steve rogers you’re ever going to see (and it’s not like...one of those slight of hand things, guys, it’s pretty blatant) and of course it happens while steve is dead because it’s safe to do it, there’s no fear of rejection.  he can do it and try to move on.

spoiler:  tony does not move on.

tony’s supposed to give steve’s eulogy.  he manages to get the podium.  and he manages to try to start.  and then he promptly breaks down and walks away and sam wilson ends up doing it instead (and does it very well, for the record).  also it turns out the body in arlington is a life model decoy, and tony, jan, and (skrull)hank end up having a private funeral for steve where the avengers originally found him in the ice.  tony does a little better, it’s private, it’s people that know him intimately that he doesn’t have to wear a mask for, and he’s able to be genuine.   and they send steve off.  with an ominous bit at the end where jan talks about how they’re all just going to have to move on now, right tony?   tony?  as tony doesn’t hear a word she says because he’s watching steve’s coffin sink into the deep, now under the care of namor the sub-mariner.

things really just go downhill from there.

tony’s dealing with the pressures of being director of shield, running the 50 states initiative, running the mighty avengers (he says carol’s in charge but he micromanages to a ridiculous degree), being turned into a jan clone with a bad haircut by ultron, hints there’s something weird going on in oklahoma (which turns out to be the mandarin), old friends become grudge-carrying villains...tony starts to crack a little.  he has a few literal, actual nervous breakdowns, he’s hardly ever out of the armor, he gets put on psych leave...and he starts having hallucinations.  not just any hallucinations, mind, not that any are fun, but these are directly extremis-related.  ghosts of the dead that tony blames himself for, showing up to deliver information tony’s brain has processed and stored in the guilt center of the brain.  and they’re vivid.  full on full sensory experience, from being able to smell sal kennedy’s blood to feeling steve start to crush his windpipe.

he gets a letter from steve from the lawyer handling his estate telling him not to let the dream die - that even that far in steve still trusted tony like that above anyone else - and tony tries to do that.  first, he hands clint barton the shield, because clint was part of steve’s first team after the ice, but that’s a bust and clint tells tony that he might has well have pulled the trigger on steve himself later.  then along comes bucky barnes deciding the only thing he can do for steve is kill tony stark, and instead ends up the new captain america after tony talks him down and shows him the letter steve left him.

people worry.  tony pushes on.

and then the skrull invasion happens, norman osborn (you might know him as the villain known as the green goblin) sets himself up as a hero, and gets put in charge of shield, while tony is unceremoniously fired.   well, he and maria hill.  tony knows osborn’s gonna come after him once he realizes that tony’s duped him on the shra database - tony set up a decoy to take care of that leaving one copy in existence as soon as osborn tries to access it:  tony himself.  so there’s only one thing to do, right.  get rid of that last existing copy.

when maria hill tells you you’re crazy for wanting to wipe your brain considering how tony and maria grate like sandpaper against each other...maybe...it’s not a good idea.  not that it being a bad idea stops tony whatsoever.  he starts a slow delete of his brain, using the suits as tools to help that along as he runs from place to place to stay ahead of osborn.  to maria, he entrusts a job of retrieving a harddrive from the old futurepharm building (hey that sounds familiar right guys) in oklahoma, where she almost ends up a battery for the controller (an old school iron man villain) until she gets free and beelines straight for black widow for help.  pepper he leaves to putting down stark industries and a suit of her own, rescue.

lots of shit happens as tony’s brain slowly deletes itself, the details of which aren’t important, but that ends with osborn catching up to tony in afghanistan after his mind’s mostly gone and with osborn bashing tony’s brains in on live tv for the whole world to see.  While wearing a red, white, and blue set of armor bc osborn is dumb and thought trying to mush together iron man and captain america into one symbol was a great idea.  it’s also built from tony’s own tech but kind of...a shoddy copy, because repulsor technology is not a thing tony left behind for osborn to get his hands on.

the result of this, and the brain deletion, is that tony ends up in a persistent vegetative state with massive amounts of brain damage.  he’s on life support.  osborn tries to pull the plug, but let’s be real, even a tony breaking down is smarter than norman osborn, and he’s left that in the hands of donald blake.  yes.  that donald blake.  thor donald blake.

so what happens, right, we’re finally at the meat of this where tony’s deleted his entire brain and everything that is tony stark is gone.   this should, theoretically, be the end, right? well, tony had a plan in case it was, but...never count tony stark out just because things look bleak.  a bunch of people start coming together:  donald/thor, steve (who’s back from the dead by the way, tony isn’t aware of of it bc he’s been on the run), bucky (who’s the current captain america at the time), rhodey, maria, dr. lisk.  it turns out pepper’s suit has a recording for them, and it’s tony, from before all of this really got rolling on his last day as director shield explaining what’s happening and how to handle it, and you can read those pages here, if you want.

after that recording there’s instructions on how to basically boot tony from disk.  pepper’s rt is transferred from her to tony, while her suit is stripped down because the wiring is needed.  the harddrive maria got, labeled x, has connectors that only fit old extremis ports in tony, and that has to be connected.  they need captain america’s shield because it’s a vibranium alloy, and they need thor/thor’s lightning to turn the rt on. that’s supposed to be it.  that’s supposed to get tony upright and walking and talking again.

spoiler:  it doesn’t work.

steve leaves, and goes to fetch stephen strange to see if a...different kind of treatment will help, and this basically ends with a trip inside of tony’s head, where he’s reliving the same scenario over and over again with the fragments of his memories that are left, refusing to basically wake up.  stephen cajoles him, gets him moving in the right direction, gets tony motivated to confront what’s keeping him inside his own head (which is full of symbolism, he keeps finding teeth with...personally that makes sense, dreaming of teeth is supposed to be a sign of stress and boy if there was ever someone that probably has a lot of teeth dreams...).  he wakes up, kicks ghost’s ass while rhodey and stephen both are down and out because things have gone badly on the real world end, and promptly asks, “what the hell happened to you guys?”

the next time steve shows up to the hotel they’ve basically taken over, now that tony’s up and moving, he asks dr. lisk how tony is and dr. lisk does that thing any normal person would do when having some bad news to deliver to captain america and not wanting to be the one to do it:  he squirms and waffles and gets steve Concerned and Irritated until he finally asks if anyone knows how long ago tony made that backup because there are things tony should know that he doesn’t.  that he’s missing time - a lot of it.

so here we are.  it’s taken us a long time to get here for what’s probably going to seem anticlimactic but bear with me a little longer.  so what does lisk mean by this, right, what does he mean tony’s missing time?  well, tony remembers up through forming the new avengers with steve.  he remembers getting extremis, a little bit after that.  and then...nothing.  not a single damn thing until he wakes up in a school basement.  a lot of people see it as a cop out.  a refusal to accept the consequences of his actions during civil war, but that’s stupid, because tony never, ever denies any of it even if he can’t remember.  he never complains about how he’s treated because of it.  hell, he never really asks any questions.  he has eyes.  he can read.  he can watch old news reports.  he knows exactly what happened even if it’s not firsthand anymore. and he definitely thinks he deserves it, i’m sure.  literally no one is going to blame tony harder than tony blames himself, and that’s a fucking fact. if you don’t think tony doesn’t blame himself entirely for what happened to steve you don’t really know tony stark at all.  he might not remember exactly what he did and why he did it, but he knows how to read himself and he’s really good at extrapolating data.

so why is tony forgetting all of civil war significant, right, it’s just a year, maybe he didn’t make any more backups after civil war got rolling.  see...you’d think that sounds reasonable, right, but...it negates a huge part of tony’s tonyness, which is that he is meticulous about his data.  super meticulous.  his suits record everything. he has terrabytes and terrabytes of stuff from all kinds of things, and if you don’t think he wouldn’t want to keep every bit of everything that’s in his head, you’d be wrong.  if you don’t think his backups weren’t especially meticulous you’d be wrong.  if you don’t think he didn’t know exactly what drive he told maria to get, out of what are probably multiple drives containing tony’s brain backups, you’d be wrong.  tony’s not careless and he’s not sloppy.  if he picked drive x it’s because drive x was made not long after he got extremis and he knew exactly what he was doing when he picked it. he knew exactly what that would mean for his memories of the war, and of steve’s death, and all the things that came after it.  it was on purpose.  not as a cop out.  tony takes it all, everything everyone gives him over civil war and the skrull invasion, and for a long, long time after the mindwipe tony is very small, he’s very broken, and he’s very submissive in a lot of ways that all signal tony thinking he deserves every bit of what’s happening to him, and only recently, years later, is he starting to come around from it.  

everything - everything - centers around steve’s death.  tony doesn’t predict the future, that’s not exactly the truth of what his brain does, but he can see possible paths and follow them to conclusion.  the idea that he already started putting this particular plan in motion when the buried steve in the ice isn’t farfetched and it’s not unbelievable.  he can see things coming down the pipeline a mile away, and this was probably one of those things.  and he had his contingency in place by the time he needed it.

but see...the funny thing about things like mindwipes, right.  is that it’s not a precise thing.  shit happens to you, your brain wrinkles a certain way.  tony can erase that year, but with it he lost a lot of little things.  how to tie a tie, for instance.  and conversely, once your brain is wrinkled, it’s wrinkled.  it’s there, in your grey matter.  so while secret empire overall is trash, it did raise a very interesting scenario, and that scenario is that tony’s ai - the ai he built from a scan of his brain - does remember the war.  there’s no reason for his ai to remember if it’s not actually still somewhere in tony’s head, right, which makes sense.  the wrinkles the events caused are still there, and tony is not dumb.  he doesn’t half ass anything, so i guarantee you he has an idea of how the human brain works and records thing.  he’d know he’d never fully get rid of those memories.  they’re still there, tony’s ai is proof.  he just...can’t access them.   something to think about.

anyway, here’s a ridiculous long explanation of the mindwipe and why it’s important, because tony not remembering civil war and steve’s death impacts everything from the moment he wakes up going forward.  it means there’s no closure because he can’t talk about it, he can’t say for sure when, where, who, why, or how, he can only guess.  and he avoids guessing.   thanks for coming, have a great day.

[moondeitys]

1, 2, 4, 5, and 23 :)

questions for multimuses / accepting.

1. Which muse(s) is/are your favourite(s)?

aaaaa im very very very fond of atsumu and sousuke honestly... atsumu bc i think he’s incredibly fun to write, nd i love exploring what his dynamics will look like with other muses (esp since hes a menace,,, just a teenage dirtbag baby,,,,, but hes also an incredibly kind nd selfless person at times nd the contrast between the ‘idc what other ppl think of me’ vs ‘i care what ppl who are close 2 me nd what they think abt’ is just very fun 2 explore :0) !! sousuke is my favorite to write bc i definitely connect with a lot of his mindset (like choosing 2 hide his injury for the longest time so he can swim w rin) nd also bc hes unexpectedly funny ??? hes this very straight-laced character nd whenever there’s a moment where i can write him 2 be funny i Will bc i think hes a secret comedian

2. Which muse(s) do you wish had more interactions?

any and all of my ocs JHGSDHJKGS as much as i love love lovee writing canon characters, i do wish i could have the chance to write my ocs as well nd rly explore what i can do with their development JHGSHJKGS

4. Name a muse you have written in the past. What was your favourite thing about this muse?

im trying not 2 fall into recency bias bc of goldstolen JHGSJKS so im thiNKING....... i dont write canons too often (most of my rping history is rooted in original characters bc i used 2 get like ... anxious over ppl who rp’d the same character as me) but i used to write steve rogers !!! my favorite thing abt him was definitely exploring how he healed and coped with being in a completely different era nd how he still was v kind nd stood up for his beliefs :) <3 to this day steve is still a huge comfort character 2 me but i do not see endgame LMAOOAOOA

5. Name a muse you wish to write in the future. What’s your favourite thing about this muse?

the way my mind jus blanKED LAMOAOAJKAJSHE a muse in the future,,,, i mean one day i’d like 2 write thanatos from hades ??? game-wise ive literally just met him once but my absolute favorite thing abt him is just like . the dialogue,,, he’s got quips yall . i would like 2 see it. than,,, if ur reading this,,, pls show up in my playthrough again .... elysium is a fuckin PAINNN

23. Tag a multimuse blog and write some positivity about them (their blog, their muses, etc.)

im gonna do a few bc <3

@isolov - hi layla ofc i was gonna do u first lOLOL anyways i love ur writing and ur characterization like every single time u just blow my mind away with how canon ur muses feel,,,, like u truly have a good grasp on all the characters u choose to write nd i can tell a lot of love nd care goes into them nd i absolutely adore u as a writing partner shipping partner nd enabler LOL

@lovenwar - we only recently became mutuals (but im pretty sure ive followed u on other blogs LMAOOO) but like,,,,,, the fact u can commit 2 so many muses,,,,, i want what u have JKEHHJES i think its v cool how u continuously are updating ur roster nd how ur always like,,,, in the mindset ?? i guess idk how 2 word this,,, of ur muses !!

@cherrywished - love u nd ur ocs nd ur canons i think u have such a good grasp on their characterization nd ur ocs are so rich w lore like u gotta teach me how 2 do it ...... also i think ur very nice nd fun <3

[pop-punklouis]

hey i saw your tags on that post about steve harrington and his redemption arc. did you not think he was an asshole in season 1? sorry if i misinterpreted that from your tags i’m just curious bc i love your opinions

I didn’t exactly say I thought he wasn’t an asshole in season 1, but the reasons most people link him to being in asshole is for things that shouldn’t tie him to that label. SO, in that respect, no I don’t think he was a complete shithead like the post states about his redemption arc.

Like, yes, of course, I’m not going to dismiss the spray paint on the marquee slut-shaming nancy, but that quite. literally was the only real indicative scene that showed steve being an asshole and not just a misunderstood jock who was cornered into bad characterization and the nerd-wanking-superiority writing of the duffer brothers. Let’s take a stroll through Steve’s season 1 and dismantle the entirety of his “asshole” tendencies shall we?

1. Steve always included Barb anytime Nancy went somewhere or was invited somewhere by Steve. He never put up a fight or whines about her “less than popular” friend tagging along even if he and Nancy did leave Barb alone downstairs to hook-up upstairs (which is more on nancy’s shitty behavior than steve’s). At the party Steve makes sure that Barb feels included and even speaks to her a couple of times to bring her into the conversation knowing she felt uncomfortable being there.

2. Steve was very careful and gentle with Nancy about having sex. He made sure she was completely alright and comfortable before even leading her to the bed. He never forced himself or his persuasion on her to sleep with him because he knew she’d never had sex before, and he was even sweeter about it after the fact to make her feel more supported about being with him intimately.

3. The biggest pointed finger of Steve being shitty is when he breaks Jonathan’s camera, but like. is that being shitty? Steve Harrington stumbled upon creeper photos of HIS GIRLFRIEND taken by Jonathan Byers and does what anyone would do in that situation, confront him and dismantle the entire issue. Jonathan wasn’t being sweet or misunderstood. He literally sat in the woods on Steve’s property and took photos of Nancy without her knowledge or permission. That isn’t something to flutter your heart at, it’s creepy and gross and tbh Steve was justified in tossing his camera on the ground after seeing them and hearing Jonathan’s bullshit excuse.

4. Steve gets upset when he sees Nancy hanging out with Jonathan and anger clouds his judgement which causes him to spray paint the marquee, slut-shaming nancy which isn’t alright by any means, BUT imagine seeing your girlfriend choose and defend someone that took up-close photos of her without her knowledge and was never going to tell her he took those photos. (was he going to continue if he wasn’t ratted out??) It’s incredibly confusing and upsetting and he shouldn’t have done something so drastic, but that’s the one time he veered away from being the steve harrington that was a good dude. EDIT: I was reminded by an anon that: Steve did not spray the marquee, it was clearly stated that Tommy did the spray paint and. it was also heavily implied that he already knew it was a bad idea. "I should have shoved that can of spray paint down your throat" is what he tells Tommy. Carol is also the person who calls Nancy a slut "with a heart of gold" to her face. My guess is it was Carol's idea, Tommy gleefully spray painted and Steve dumped them as friends. Steve's crime is that he was a coward in the moment, not an asshole

5. When Steve is sitting on his car, icing his eye, his friends start talking shit about jonathan and nancy and steve, even through everything, defends nancy and shuts them up before realizing he needs to immediately apologize to her.

6. When he’s met with the demegorgon at Jonathan’s house (which he sees nancy and sees her hand and thinks jonathan did something which hello??? the dude was a creep steve should’ve gotten protective) he goes back and helps fight the thing without knowing ANYTHING about it or why it’s there. He knew he needed to help defeat it, so he did (not to mention without his baseball bat, they wouldn’t have gotten where they did with the demegorgon).

I’m probably missing other things but i’m drinking my camomile tea and that’s all my brain can remember right now. anyways, the point is, steve didn’t need as much of a redemption arc as many seem to think and the only way the duffer brothers allowed this “redemption arc” to happen was to push steve into this loser character all because it’s a nerd’s fantasy to see the stereotypical jock (or boo-hoo popular dude) become inferior to the nerd when in reality the nerd is inferior in every way and the entirety of stranger things is just about nerds prevailing and “getting the girl.”

[nativemossy]

Cap-IM Rec Week 2019 - Wednesday

Rec Week- Angsty Wednesday @cap-ironman 

Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for your hardworking authors! they deserve the credit for the hard work they put into entertaining us with their fabulous works of art!

disclaimer: i genuinely struggle with the difference between angst and h/c, so the way i’m differentiating those lists is (mostly) by what the author tagged. 

the stillness of forgetting - by nasa

“Who are you?” Tony asks every morning when he wakes up and finds Steve lying next to him.

“I’m your husband,” Steve always replies.

-

aka Tony has Alzheimer's.

why rec?: ouchie, this one makes me cry a lot, so I don’t read it often. memory loss fics really get to me, so if thats something youre interested in this has it in stock! its so heartrendingly sweet and i just love it a lot

Orbital Mechanics - by Sabrecmc

Freshly out of the ice, Captain Steve Rogers definitely does not want to Bond with anyone. Until he does.

(Steve's POV for Celestial Navigation)

why rec?: tbh i’d recommend anything of Sabres (and multiple times at that - hence why i posted abt this on monday as well), but Celestial Navigation and by extension Orbital Mechanics both have permanent places on my instant classics list. just a lovely fic all around.

Something Death Can Touch - by thatdammeddame

Tony nearly dies in the field on a Saturday.

Steve breaks up with Tony the Wednesday after he's released from hospital.

why rec?: sad!! with happy ending!! its got a nice round conclusion, everyone comes full circle and is better for it.

Like A Comet Streaming On - by Sineala

Tony escapes Afghanistan with a functioning Iron Man suit and a perfectly normal heart. He even manages to bring Ho Yinsen home safely at his side. But he may as well have lost everything... because his wolfbrother is dead. Six months later, the Avengers find Captain America, frozen in ice, miraculously alive. Everything and everyone Steve has ever known is gone -- except his wolfsister, the recipient of the lupine version of the super-soldier serum, who was frozen in his arms. Tony has everything but his wolf. Steve has only his wolf. This is how their lives fit together.

why rec?: another fic that lives in my phone and travels with me - this is an instant classic for sure. i feel like i’ve recced this before no but i will be reccing it’s “fanfic of a fanfic” in tomorrows post, so I have talked about it. I love the psychic wolf premise, I hope to maybe do something in the future with it, though I could never dream of coming close to this amazing fic. If i’ve read this once i’ve read it dozens of times and loved it more each time. 

Wait & Sea - by Lenalena 

In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

why rec?: tagged as angst and humor and if memory serves that’s exactly right. perfect blend of the humor of the identity porn trope with the angst of constant misunderstandings. 

Born From The Earth - by venusm

Tony Stark's born an omega in a world where that means he's supposed to follow certain social rules. He becomes Iron Man anyway: Fuck biology.

If only his biology (and the world) would quit fucking him back.

why rec?: i debated real heavy about including this because it’s technically steve/tony/omc, but hear me out: A great part of this fic focuses on the developing relationship between Tony and Steve, as well as Tony’s relationship with himself and the world around him. This is, hands down, my favorite fic of all time. as far as writing in general goes it’s right up there with my favorite authors. if i could only read one fic for the rest of my life this would undoubtedly be it - unfinished or no. i cannot even begin to impress upon you how much I love this fic. I can only aspire to write like this. the author makes you angry when they want you to be angry, sad when they want that too. It’s a beautifully orchestrated rollercoaster of emotion and I fall a little more in love every time I read it (which is frighteningly often).

Never Too Late for Love - by Sineala

Steve has always believed that a soulbond is a blessing -- a rare and beautiful miracle, joining the thoughts and feelings of two people forever, from the first time they touch. Steve knows he's not going to be one of the lucky ones. He knows Gail isn't his soulmate. But he loves her, even if they're not soulmates, and he's going to do right by her. After the war's over, he's going to marry her, and they're going to settle down. They'll buy a house. They'll have children. He'll see his family again. Maybe Bucky will live next door. It's going to be a good life. He doesn't need a soulbond. He'll be fine without one.

Then Steve wakes up sixty years in the future to find that his wonderful life has moved on without him. His family is long dead. His fiancée married his best friend. And the only purpose he has left is leading the Ultimates, a misbegotten team of superheroes with flaws too numerous to count. Steve hates everything about the future -- but most of all he detests Tony, flashy and flirtatious, who embodies everything Steve hates about a world he never wanted to live in.

And, oh, yeah, Steve has a soulmate after all: Tony fucking Stark.

why rec?: so much relationship angst. so. much. angst. Steve has to get his ass in gear and his brain into the 21st century, and Tony probably needs to go easy on the poor guy. its also ultsfic, which I’m usually not a giant fan of bc of the assholery but the dynamic works for me here

Senseless - by Scavenge4Dreams

Blinded, deafened, exhausted, injured and afraid, Tony raised himself up into a defensive position, the knife coming up just like Nat had taught him.

“That had better fucking be you, Steve Rogers- it had better be you. Fucking disarm me. If you let me kill you, I swear I will be very, very pissed.” Tony snarled, sure it was Steve approaching. Had to be. Had. To. Be.

What if it wasn’t?

why rec?: it’s been a while since i’ve read this, but I remember this being a good one that involves a rescue, injury recovery, and some eventual upon a brief reread I can say that this fic also has established relationship going for it! it’s tagged angst but it’s definitely got it’s fluffy parts and a really fun ending

Thrust Issues - by Sineala

A battle gone wrong leads Tony to the unexpected and pleasant discovery that Steve is much more well-endowed than he could ever have imagined. But when Tony learns that Steve has never actually been able to sleep with anyone because of his size, Tony does what any good friend would do: he offers to relieve Steve of his virginity. Personally. Tony's determined, Tony's methodical, and Tony has a plan. He's going to get Steve laid. Tony just needs to make sure Steve never finds out that Tony's in love with him.

why rec?: look at this point i think we can all agree that i might be a little bit of a fan of sineala’s. just wanted to throw that one out there to start us out. 

so my rec has little to do with the oodles of pining angst (of which there is plenty) and much more to do with there being a specific line in this fic that boils down to “friends fist friends right?” and I think of it at least biweekly. the rest of the fic is beautifully written and the characterization is to die for, plus its got a lovely happy ending!

She - by isozyme

Iron Man is strong and muscular and masculine, and Tony Stark wears a three-piece suit and walks with his hips stiff.  No colors other than navy or muted red. No prints bolder than a pinstripe. No luxurious silks and linens. His outfits are tailored to hang crisp and straight, his slacks hemmed to a conservative medium break.  The public won’t know. Nobody will go digging deeper, for classified ads and witnesses who remember him from half a decade ago. Steve will never find out all the ways Tony’s ruined himself.

why rec?: i’m putting this here just in case I don’t make a post for Sunday. This is one of those fics that hurts so good - it’s so well written sometimes it makes my teeth ache because it’s so sad and as the reader you can see all the pieces but a character cant. I love that feeling, its a great feeling. Some of this stuff can hit close to home so heed the warnings and read the tags!

[tony-starkrogers]

Stevetony Fic Rec: Recently Read

I’ve read soooooo many good stevetony fics recently that I felt like I just had to rec some? Most of these fics I’ve never seen before and I couldn’t figure out how I hadn’t read them yet and I love finding new fics that are so amazing I just have to share them! So here’s my big long list of recs, feel free to add more in the comments! I will also post a rec list of tumblr fics too, since you all are so talented so.... more to come!

What We Deserve (T | 4k by Wordsplat)

Summary: Tony is certain he knows exactly what's going on between him and Steve. (Spoiler alert: he doesn't.)

My rec: High school au! Ft oblivious Tony and pining Steve. Actually, there’s more than enough pining to go around, it’s super cute and gives you all the awkward high school feels.

Be Somebody Else (The Mask and Mirror Remix) (T | 4k by Sineala)

Summary: When Tony invites the Avengers to a superhero-themed costume party, Steve knows exactly who he's dressing up as. He can't bring himself to ask Iron Man for assistance, so instead he turns to the man who makes the armor. Tony is more than willing to help Steve with his Iron Man costume -- and in the process, Steve learns a little more about the man behind the mask.

My rec: omg when I first saw this I was like “ok it’s a Halloween fic by Sineala, I’m going to read the shit out of this!” And yes, it’s just as good as you think it is.

And Then There's You (T | 6k by someonelsesheart)

Summary: and it’s funny that they’re like this, isn't it, because there's Tony, too-clever and too-fast, always having to be moving, selfish and desperate and cruel, and then there’s Steve with his kindness, his slow smile and his patience, selfless and calm and kind to everything and everyone. They’re fire and ice, good and bad, and somehow, somehow, it works.

Or, Steve Rogers teaches Tony Stark how to love, one year at a time.

My rec: This fic is a high school au focusing on Tony’ s early years. It’s Tony-centric, and the characterization is spot on. It’s also really beautifully written - another great work from this author!

Night Out (T | 1k by MusicalLuna)

Summary: Steve takes Tony out for their first date. The world is soft and shining and Tony thinks he'd like to stay this way forever.

My rec: I loooove first date fics and this is the cutest thing ever, they are both so soft and adorable in this fic.

Dangerous Kitchen Tools (E | 18k by ladyshadowdrake)

Summary: Engineering prodigy, billionaire, and heir to the Stark Industries empire, Tony Stark turned the business world on its head by opening a restuarant and burying himself in the kitchen. Years later, he covers an informal evening cooking class for his friend and fellow molecular gastronomist, Bruce Banner, where he meets famously camera-shy comic artist Steve Rogers.

My rec: a cooking au!!! This is my cup of tea. Tony is a famous cook and Steve is an comic artist taking a cooking class, which is brilliant imho. Also it is super hot.

Flower Child (T | 24k by itsallAvengers)

Summary: The point was this, though:In a hundred million universes, in a hundred million different lives, there would never be a single one of them in which Tony Stark deserved anyone like Steve Rogers. Ever.So this? Nonsensical.

My rec: soft!tony in this fic is adorable! I love the characterization and the backstory here is really good. So much fluff!

see a thing a thousand times (T | 27k by Mizzy)

Summary: Whoever came up with the rule that SHIELD agents in modern times had to be a certain age should be shot. Obviously the solution is for Steve to travel back in time. (If only things were ever that easy.)

My rec: a different kind of high school au with a side of time travel! I love fics where being with Tony makes Steve realize that he wants to stay in this time, and this fic does that really well.

A Wish Your Heart Makes (T | 4k  by Wordsplat)

Summary: Tony's magical night has a few restrictions. Thankfully, his friends are amazing and his prince is exceedingly persistent.

(Very vaguely a Cinderella AU.)

My rec: It’s a high school prom fic! If you can’t tell, high school aus are my favorite, and I love the Avengers as a friend group in this fic.

you really got me (and you shook me all night long) (T | 3k by shieldmaidenofrohan)

Summary: The one where... Tony and Steve are classroom neighbors, and the whole school ships it.

My rec: a teacher au! With post-it conversations and lots of pining (in a good way).

Iron Chef  (T | 4k by MemoryDragon)

Summary: Natasha has a broken leg, Tony is in the kitchen cooking, and Steve has a crush he's not sulking about. Chicken soup must be good for the soul, right?

My rec: Tony is feeling guilty (completely unnecessarily ofc) so he cooks (bc that’s totally logical right?) a really cute cooking fic that’s pretty close to early mic canon.

The T-Shirt Means I Love You (G | 1k by laireshi)

Summary: "You’re wearing my clothes.”

Steve wants to take the words back as soon as he said them, because obviously Tony isn’t wearing his clothes, Tony’s not wearing any clothes, Tony’s an artificial intelligence, but Steve wishes Tony were corporeal and wearing his clothes, preferably in his bed.

My rec: AI Tony!!! Steve with a crush! I love it! If you haven’t read the comics it probably won’t make much sense but you can still get by because why wouldn’t you want to read this fic???

Saving You (The Promises Kept Remix) (T | 1.5k by laireshi)

Summary: Tony knows Steve’s weak spot, and he knows that it’s him. For once, it’s not a scary thought, because he will do exactly what Steve asked him to do: he will fight, he will try, and he will succeed in bringing Steve down.

Because he loves Steve, and because Steve loves him, too.

My rec: mmm another great 616 fic by this author (seriously go read everyone they’ve ever written, you’ll love it). Getting Steve back from Hydra-Cap with lots of feels.

Lovesick (T | 3k by royal_chandler)

Summary: The depth of the flu aisle in the pharmacy is substantial, overwhelmingly so, and Steve is half-convinced he needs to return to the front and trade his basket for a full-on cart.

My rec: a super cute sick!fic! Steve takes care of a sick Tony and has lots of feels about it.

Let Me Be Your Good Night (T | 44k by malfoys_cousin)

Summary: Inspired by the prompt: "I was studying at 3am and accidentally locked myself out of my dorm room and you have a job with weird hours so you walked by to see me sitting by my door crying in my pajamas. Help me I'm a wreck."

Alternatively: Tony does not function without caffeine. He just doesn't.

My rec: college au! Tony is an oblivious (but loveable) idiot who really loves coffee (and Steve).

Anti-Virus (G | 4k by marinarusalka)

Summary: Steve didn't think he could get sick any more. He was wrong. Tony didn't think of himself as the caretaking type. He was wrong too.

My rec: sick!fic ft adorable Tony taking case of a sick Steve.

Ten Romantic Valentine's Day Ideas for Busy People (M | 3k by BlossomsintheMist)

Summary: Steve and Tony do their best to celebrate Valentine's Day together. They're busy and it's not perfect, but it ends up surprisingly romantic all the same.

My rec: valentine’s day fic! This is steamy hot and gives you all the good feels. Established relationship and they are so in love!

Be No Stranger (All Your Saints and Soldiers Remix) (T | 6k by jibrailis)

Summary: That's the twenty-first century love song, baby. Glitz and glamour and every one of us is a liar.

My rec: I love this fic sooooo much! A difference kind of time travel fic, where Steve gets stuck in Tony’s past and Tony has to go through different times in his life to find Steve and get him back. It’s amazing, go read it!

Tagging some people who might be interested: @nasafic @sabrecmc @itsallavengers @ishipallthings @goodmorningbeloved @sineala

[shyheadbanger]

im not happy abt that ending

this is just a vent post so sorry if it accidentally ends up in the tags for a certain character & ship that im trying to censor out

if you liked the ending hey good for you have fun with that im glad you did. there are a lot of things i genuinely enjoyed about endgame but i just wanted to write out my negative feelings about that ending bc while the way thors character was treated genuinely made me upset this is what i feel most comfortable talking about on my blog

beware: endgame spoilers!!!

i wanna start by saying i actually love p*ggy c*rter so much & i like st*ggy in some circumstances but rn the ship upsets me bc it just reminds me of that ending. like i feel kinda similar to before aou where i genuinely liked br*cen4t until the movie cam out, then i hated the ship, but im back to liking it in some circumstances but def ignoring canon decisions bc they were Not Good. i know i probably will end up being ok with st*ggy again but for now its in my serious NOTP area bc just thinking about it makes me upset

ok so im not happy with steve going back to live his life with p*ggy it feels so wrong esp since hes erasing the life she had after she had very much moved on. it feels like she has no agency in whether or not she gets to decide her future bc it seems like steve decides for her & therefore decides for her whole family. whole people have now never been born & honestly it makes the st*ron kiss in cacw so much worse bc steve has now made out with his own niece. like we dont see him truly grieving for the friends he lost in iw but for some reason hes super hung up on p*ggy now.

it also gives two potential alternatives to steves character, neither of which im a fan of tbh:

he does very little to change the past to ensure the future. i am not a fan of this bc it means that steve rogers sat idly by while hydra was growing inside of shield & while bucky was being actively tortured let alone having him try to stop other issues. it feels like a giant “fuck you” to the same guy who says “if i see a situation pointed south i cant ignore it” & “i dont like bullies. i dont care where theyre from.” that steve rogers could NEVER sit idly by while all that shit is going down. in cacw, we see bucky actively struggling with his self worth & he tells steve that “[he doesnt know if he’s] worth all this”, whether it be steves time, his care, whatever & then steve goes & proves him right by leaving him. even though ill admit im more of a stucky shipper, it doesnt matter how you see steve & buckys relationship, if he even slightly cared about bucky & even just looking at the fact that if this is the true path then he actively chose to do nothing with regards to his torture. im sorry but if this is who the writers claim he is then he should not be worthy of mjolnir or even p*ggy’s love bc that would say a whole lot about his character & i truly dont believe she could love a man who would do that to supposedly his best friend. this would not be steve rogers.

he actively changes things in accordance to what we know his character to be. he saves bucky, stops hydra, who knows what else, certainly not us. this means that even through all those changes the timeline would branch so little that it would let him come back to that timeline, which means that hydra are the most pathetic villain organization to exist because for everything hydra tried to do there was so little impact on the world. this undermines hydras use narratively as villains and also devalues buckys suffering and p*ggy’s achievements in the original timeline. it basically means that these powerful & important characters & everything they do is pretty much meaningless & has no impact or value. fuck that too.

honestly i have no conclusion for this post im just pretty unhappy with this characterization. honestly aside from the implications of the st*ggy relationship in the movie i loved steves character. ill admit i mostly had a lot of fun. maybe another day ill post about what bothers me about thors character but tbh thats really super personal for me & not just me being upset about canon so idk

[ff7central]

Creator Spotlight: Kizunatsudoishi

Miri here, with the next entry in our Creator Spotlight series. This time the random number generator has summoned artist Kizunatsudoishi (Kizu). ( http://Kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com )

Want to be on a future spotlight? Sign up on the FF7Central directory to get in on the list: https://goo.gl/forms/u0h5rJXmgv40zX9m2

Miri: Which of your works is the most memorable to you? I don’t necessarily mean favourite or best work, it could be the work that taught you the most making it or that holds a special reason in its creation.

Kizu: Hm, for some reason the sleeping elves!Sefikura popped up in my head. It was certainly one of those that took me weeks to finish. I learned so much about coloring doing that piece. Seph's thighs were thickened with layers of white and purplish white and blueish white and orangeish white because I couldn't get the pale tone right. I even beat myself over it for days. Thank god it turned out... not so bad...?

Miri: Comments on the reblog, or in the tags. Do you have a preference?

Kizu: Comments ANYWHERE. But anyway, from what I've seen, people are less likely to comment on the reblog because they feel like it's rude or something, but if you feel like that, please comment all the craziest thing and reactions in the tags. UwU I dare speak for all of the creators out there that WE LOVE COMMENTS. Especially the squeally over the top ones.

Miri: Who is your favourite character from the FFVII setting? What do you love about them?

Kizu: Aside from the obvious choices (the blond angry smol and the silver-haired mean assholery tol), in terms of characterization (and in-game stat), Cid Highwind is my lowkey favorite. Those moments featuring Cid Highwind is either hilarious or super inspirational. His speeches about his dream, the power of mankind and science, the planet Gaia, the goddamn tea... gosh. Cid Highwind gives the most powerful speeches and the most hilarious profanities.

Miri: Favourite media to work in?

Kizu: I actually have a love hate relationship with it but, pencil and paper.

Miri: Inquiring minds have asked if you have any tips for dealing with art block/slump.

Kizu: Hmmmm. Maybe... try to brainstorm exactly how you want to draw the thing. Come up with keywords that you can search by (aka finding references). Read/watch something visual and may inspire you to draw the thing since references can pop up in those visual media.

If nothing of the above works, force your stupid hand to at least draw *something* (Like, if you draw something that would involve a human, sketch their head first with a circle, and try to expand the face, where the face is facing towards, then expand pose from there with skeletal-ish pose.) If you don't know how poses work then feel free to look it up. At least, learn how to *sketch* poses with stick figures since that will save you from so much pain.

You can also listen to music that put you in certain moods.

Miri: Is there a character/idea you haven’t gotten to yet that you really want to do?

Kizu: I suppose most of the stuff I had always want to doodle *cough* frillysmexykinkydressesandflowyconcubineoutfitsandfancyhairdosforCloud *cough* I have done... to some extent. There's so much more Emperoth x Cloudcubine thing I want to do though... :Q_ I-I have this... constant need of putting Cloud in dresses. He just... looks too gorgeous in dresses. Mmm, Cloud in dresses...

Come to think of it, I kinda want to try doodling something fluffy or... school life-ish too...?

Miri: Any remake thoughts or hopes you’d like to talk about?

Kizu: 1. Have a section of land that looking towards Midgar that can trigger a flashback cutscene of Zack's final stand... and maybe his yellow flower...

2. Keep the W-Item glitch ;D

3. Explorable Midgar, maybe SOLDIER private quarters with snippets of the SOLDIER boys...?

4. Keep Cloud riding a dolphin. And the CPR part.

5. A dressing up montage of Miss Cloud with pink background and hearts flying while everyone ogles "her". (A thing that ACTUALLY HAPPENS in FFRK so I'm looking at you Squeenix you WILL give us a Miss Cloud dressing up montage).

6. We get to Omnislash """Executioner""" (a synonym for half naked) Sephiroth with Miss Cloud. In a purple dress. With a big bow. Wearing perfume. And diamond tiara. Yeap The Great Sephiroth was defeated by all of *that*.

7. Kinda overlap with the above but... maybe an attire option like we can change the party member's clothing (much like FF15). We can have a bunch of Shinra infantrymen and sailors running around in dirt.

8. Steve Burton and Takahiro Sakurai saying "Warrrk!!". If Lightning can say "Kweh" then of course Cloud has to be a chocobo whisperer.

9. After seeing the giant ass Diamond Weapon in Kingsglaives... I actually look forward to the Weapon boss fights.

Miri: Throw a headcanon at us that you’d like to see more of.

Kizu: I don't know... most of the headcanons I enjoy are all from you guys, like Sephiroth being a Scorpio, or he being the one breaking Ifalna and smol Aerith out of Shinra back then, or Cloud being a little shit... Usually I would think more about AUs. If it's an AU then I'd like to see more school life AUs. Listening to Bolbbalgan4 songs makes me think of a Cloud doodling stick figures on Seph's notebook in the library and they're playing footsies under the table ughf.

Miri: Favourite party idea when playing FFVII? They don’t have to actually work, so much as you like the idea of them together as a fighting party.

Kizu: I usually go for the OP team or the most practical so... Cloud Aerith Cid in disc 1 (I usually have Cloud as the healer/tank/everything else XD Aerith as main magic damage bc she is stronk with spells, and Cid). After that the team is Cloud Yuffie and Cid because of Yuffie's morph ability and her agility is stupid. Nothing can hit Yuffie... ever.

Miri: Do you have a favourite/easiest character to draw? Or a character you tend to draw when you need some comforting/relaxing art time?

Kizu: CLOUD.

Drawing Sephiroth, albeit very satisfying for the eyes, is a great burden. That ridiculous man has a too high standard for his face alone. And then there comes that stupid, geographically mountainous plane of a body, and his 84 miles of legs. Not to mention that unbelievable luscious hair. And don't make me rant on those *eyelashes* that stabs through the fabric of space and time itself.

Miri: Are you open for commissions right now? Drop your link.

Kizu: Well guess what, I AM. Poof: http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/161768170836/3-commission-open-%CE%B5

Miri: Anything you’d like to say to the community?

Kizu: I used to be in a too active fandom and it was a nightmare. I used to be in a dead fandom and it was so sad. But then... this FF7 fandom is by some magical blessings, is still an alive submarine after all these years. I know some may have been sour grapes to some other, but the people I found in my little trash can corner, I can say that you guys are one of the greatest creators and people I've ever met. You guys... are the best. UmU

Miri: Here’s a few pieces picked out with some help from friends) to share with everyone

Sefikura Ballet: http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/177615867741/ballet-dancerssefikura-performing-swan-lake

Sefikura: http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/172478852401/art-based-on-asreoninfusions-whiskey-kisses

Sefikura Week Art for a fic by RadiusZero: http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/170107270506/sefikura-week-day-1-showing-up-unexpectedly

NSFW Cloud for a fic by AsreonInfusion: http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/161495409636/oviposition-tentacles-au-this-is-based-on (NSFW)

NSFW Sephiroth Images: http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/165607580006/sephiroth-in-chain-lingerie-commission-for-anon  (NSFW)

http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/165966347761/another-kinky-ukeroth-in-chain-lingerie-for-anon-u  (NSFW)

http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/166560946871/ukeroth-commission-for-anon-xd-this-time-i-went  (NSFW)

http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/167444208926/ukeroth-commission-for-anon-this-time-with-lace  (NSFW)

And my personal pick, my Christmas card for my discord group (This one IS safe for work): http://kizunatsudoishi.tumblr.com/post/167932312851/a-merry-asgzc-christmas-for-asylos-and-the-folks

[dorkcresswxll]

i went...... hard y’all this is so extra and embarrassing but i spent like,, over an hour writing this down so ur all gonna see it u better.

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt?

im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!! alright so before i apped for crt the first time i was at…… a pretty low place confidence-wise bc i’d just left the first rpg i ever joined (also the first rp thing i ever did) and it was a pretty,,,, messy departure lmaoo i gotta admit i could’ve handled that better orz. BUT ANYWAY so i went looking through the ezra miller fc tag bc i’d just discovered this fabulous person and had vague ideas about a character that could fit the fc (dramatic, cheeky, a lil flamboyant) and was also thinking “i will never fall in love with a character the way i did my previous ones again” and more dramatic bullshit along those line bc like i said,,, bad time. obviously i didn’t find any active rpgs that had him in use so i checked crt bc i’d seen it around before and liked the look of it, so i sent the main an ask like “do you see ezra miller working for any of your open characters?” the admin at the time pointed me to barty crouch, peter pettigrew and dirk cresswell.

i just want to take a moment to digest that i could literally have played any of these three, cause all i had at the time was a vague idea of a character and a fc to match. i remember i spent days trying to decide between barty and dirk cause neither skeleton fit my vision perfectly and they both seemed aimed more towards an angry jock-type character (especially dirk his fc was miles teller which…. should give u a good idea of what the admin at the time had in mind for him) ( i mean the first skeleton. the one on the main now is one i rewrote after the main crashed back in june.) (just to clarify: the original skeleton had just as much potential to evolve to a complex and intriguing character as any other skeleton here at crt. i just had my vaguely dramatic ezra miller bby and i wanted it. lmao.) but i liked challenging set characterizations and bringing unique perspectives to contrast against any expectations the admin/s might have about a character. which is why i tend to go for skeleton rps, you get more freedom with those. eventually i decided on dirk bc i liked the sound of aversio and grey moralities appeal to me greatly. i spent a long time delving into the character’s backstory and personality and all those deep-seated insecurities and compelling contradictions that make dirk up to be the person he is now. by the time i submitted the app i was thoroughly in love with the character and haven’t stopped since. he’s my most developed and my most beloved character to play thus far.

Do you have a favorite holiday?

NOPE. as long as im surrounded by people i love and a lot of snacks im good.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

coffee. coffee coffee coffee.

What is your personality type?

INFP-T. the mediator. 86% introverted lmaooo.

What is your Hogwarts House?

ahhh. when i first read the books a few years ago i was like ‘iM A SLYTHERIN DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!’ but i…………literally have the subtlety of a bulldozing stampede of rhinos im sure y’all noticed. i took the pottermore test and had the glaring red n gold show up on my face and i shut the laptop down so fast like liES I BELIEVE NONE OF THIS. then i took a fan-made test that put me in ravenclaw and i was like…………….. ok i accept this compromise i can work with that. lmao im such a gryffindor tho don’t look at me im just *flops* pottermore was right….. i accept my place now i have stopped running from the truth orz.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Taurus.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

SURPRISE! i don’t have netflix. most recent stuff i watched tho are Stranger Things 2, IT (2017) and…. i can’t remember orz. but im obsessed with stranger things taLK TO ME ABOUT STEVE HARRINGTON PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *SOBS*

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

don’t call me out like this…………………………………. i don’t make friends in real life people are difficult and i am awkward orz.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

the ability to focus whenever i want at whatever i want for however long i want and actually manage to be productive with my time. what do u mean this is not a superpower i need it to be one.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

i have no sleep schedule to speak of. sometimes i sleep at five am and wake up at eight am to get to my classes, then have a six hour nap when i get home and stay up until four am again. sometimes i go to bed on eight pm and wake up at four in the morning and still sleep through my classes, take a small four hour nap when im home and spend obligatory time with the fam for a couple hours lmao. it’s like im just sleeping or waking up either way im always a step removed from a zombie. there is. no reason for any of this i just do it.

What is your favorite color?

YELLOW. it’s so bright and sunny and iouwodc. i love it.

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

ahhhh i can’t remember my memory is failing me. which is sad cause i used to pick up a new novel every other day but i just can’t be bothered anymore ugh. i think my favorite was the whole PJO & HoO series’ – i haven’t read the last book yet tho, so i’ll start rereading all ten books when i get the chance.

Where would you rather be right now?

on a bed. sleeping. alone. with a lot of blankets. solitude appeals to me on such a deep level guys u don’t even know.

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

the ones i remember are three – once when i was a kid with my mom, bc i wouldn’t go to sleep and it was approaching sunrise and i rambled about wanting to see the sun come up so my mom was like………………… ‘*throws hands up* ok u lil monster u win’ and took me to the roof to watch the sunrise lol. it was glorious. and cold. bc winter. the second time was with my cousins who were sleeping over (for the first time in a loooong tiiiimmmeeee) and we decided to spend the night up on the roof bc why not. the last time was with my brother i think he was up there fixing something or the other and i was just there….. to be annoying lmao.

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

oh no i can’t. i need everything and everyone to be quiet or i can’t write a thing.

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

what do i love about playing dirk…… his impulsive and his bright attitude and his endless optimism. he has such an uplifting presence and a cheeky sort of charm that makes it impossible for people not to love him, that makes his worming into other people’s hearts so entirely predictable and entertaining to play out. he is a myriad of contradictions – the difference between what he thinks everyone deserves and what he thinks he deserves is appalling, and with time it becomes clear that when he says things like “everyone needs someone to lean on” or “everyone could use some support” he is not referring to himself as a part of this ‘everyone’, if even on a subconscious level, does not find himself worthy of such kindness. he is a character so full of love he is spilling and overflowing with it, his raw emotions and his turbulent nature one of the dearest parts of him to me. the thin line he walks between being kind and violent, loyal and unforgiving, genuine and secretive. all the little details that make him up are reason for me to love him as dearly as i do.

What’s your favorite type of weather?

cold, but not too cold, y’know? just enough to wear a jacket but not so much you spend the night under five covers and a thermometer lmaoo.

What’s your best RP experience?

crt. no contest. and im not just saying that cause i’ve been in a bunch of rpgs by now and they all either a) lack dedicated admins/members b) are cliquey and non-inclusive at all or b) fall into inactivity a meager month or two after opening. crt is one of a kind.

Who inspires you?

this is actually a tough question cause i never really stop to think about it?? i draw inspiration from everything around me and it’s kinda like…. im constantly absorbing stuff from the environment im in and it’s like i’m always half-thinking about writing at any given moment, if that makes sense?? dunno.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

ahhh okay so. before i tried roleplaying i stumbled upon this rpg in the fandom tag over a year ago and it’s basically been the catalyst for my time in the rpc. i was looking through the character’s blogs and found someone playing peter and i was like……….. not fond of peter at the time tbh but this person’s writing was so fucking incredible i checked their blog daily, just to see how this thread or that thread would go. their take on a character i’d only held distaste for before was so compelling and complex i was drawn in all the way, i’d even come to love the character so much and was constantly disarmed by the smallest to the biggest details in that person’s characterization – at least the details i could pick up on, some i’m sure went way over my head at the time. some details i still remember vividly and they’ve helped me shape my first character and have influenced my writing thereafter. i learned a lot about the duality of a character’s mind and how to express inner conflict by observing that person’s writing. (yes i sent them a nerdy af message gushing about all that bc they hadda know man…. they hadda know.)

[fuckyeahblackwidow]

hey, i looked through your "captain america 2" tag and didn't find anything about this so. what's your opinion on nat's characterization in that movie? bc i see a lot of people (comics fans) talking about how they gave her sharon's personality/role, and that the only movie that did justice to her comics character in the mcu is iron man 2

In my experience the people who think CA2 gave her Sharon’s personality/role are Sharon Carter fans, not so much diehard comics Natasha fanatics.

As someone who likes Sharon Carter I do think the MCU has done her wrong and kind of boiled her down to only the love interest aspect of the character, rather than the compelling foil to Steve that she can be when used well. Sharon in the comics was be pretty conflicted about abandoning her duty and job to follow Steve in Civil War, and removing that internal conflict gives her a lot less to really do in the movies.

As to whether Natasha has Sharon’s role, well, that’s something else. If you see Sharon’s role as “being a spy” and “being cynical foil for Steve”, then yeah, that is what Natasha does in Captain America 2. But a lot of characters share those traits in Captain America stories, including, like, Wolverine and Nick Fury. Natasha has served that role from time to time, too, notably in the Ellis Secret Avengers comics that featured Steve in an uncomfortable role with SHIELD. Those qualities are both pretty broad and entirely in keeping with Natasha’s personality.

But I see Sharon’s specific role in the Captain America mythos as more detailed than that. Sharon someone who grew up believing in the sort of values that Steve sells by breathing, who joined SHIELD to honor Peggy Carter’s legacy. Sharon is driven by a dedication to duty and service that mirrors Steve’s own, and that inspires and undermines their romance. Predictably, she and Peggy both suffer for being women introduced in the Silver Age, and Sharon dies and becomes one of the many people Steve feels he has failed. But then Sharon comes back, traumatized by years as a deep cover operative, and feeling betrayed by Steve for never rescuing her, and betrayed by the things he represents for the hell she went through subsequently.

The Sharon of this era probably occupies the place Natasha has in Captain America 2 the most directly. Natasha and Sharon both have a semi-flirtatious rapport with Steve and have more brutal methods. They challenge his idealistic way of thinking over the course of the story, but at the same time are drawn to his dedication to doing the right thing.

But importantly, for me, Sharon’s relationship with Steve is colored by her own past with Steve and by Steve’s own perceived failures. Natasha in CA:TWS, on the other hand, is more informed by her own attempts to find redemption and her complicated relationship with trust. Steve’s skepticism of Natasha is motivated by her own past betrayals and reputation, something that mirrors her early experiences with the Avengers and SHIELD in the 1960s, and her decision to leave SHIELD and spying and look for herself elsewhere is frequently repeated in Black Widow stories.

Also, the role that Sharon plays in Brubaker’s Captain America run isn’t that, cynical, flirtatious deep cover operative; her role in that story is one of Steve’s tragic true love.  That plotline goes places the films never do, with Sharon being brainwashed and pregnant and in love, fighting off her attackers alone.  In some ways, with Bucky’s reintroduction as the Winter Soldier, he’s the one who comes to occupy the narrative space that Sharon did in the Mark Waid run, and Sharon’s later brainwashing is a mirror of Bucky’s trauma.

What I’m trying to demonstrate here is that Sharon Carter is both pretty cool and constantly screwed over, but also that comics don’t always repeat themselves but often rhyme. And so a lot of similar stories get told with the parts rotating around, creating a thematic continuity. And that’s kind of what adaptations hold to.

I was initially pretty skeptical of Natasha having a larger role in Captain America 2 because I was worried, as always, that it would be handled poorly, and because I was especially worried about them handling Bucky/Natasha, a pairing I like, in a way that I didn’t. I was generally pretty pleased with the film though, and most of the story beats it hit felt true to Natasha even if the details were mixed around. 

For me, Natasha’s appearance in Iron Man 2 was mostly unremarkable and bland, which was still a step up for movie superheroines, so I was mostly glad they hadn’t totally screwed her up. I really liked Avengers, and from there I just kind of pick and chose the parts of each film I like instead of taking them as separate incarnations. One criticism I do have of Natasha’s role in Captain America 2 that I haven’t seen echoed elsewhere is that by sticking these beats into a Captain America story (instead of the Avengers context where they happened originally, or even better in a standalone BW film) they sort of end with Natasha’s moral journey framed in terms of the triumph of Steve’s idealism.

I’d say that “Steve is always right” is at least accurate to the comics, but one of my favorite things about the original Winter Soldier comic is how Steve wasn’t successful in getting through Bucky’s brainwashing, and needs to use the Cosmic Cube to do it. So maybe that’s where my real dissatisfaction comes from. Who knows?

I also find there’s this impulse to criticize MCU Natasha for “taking over” things that rightfully belong to other characters— Wasp’s place as a founding Avenger, Bobbi’s batons and her relationship with Clint, Sharon’s role in Winter Soldier— just as there’s an impulse to blame Carol for getting the solo film that Natasha hasn’t. I don’t think that’s a particularly great way to frame feminist media criticism or a particularly fun way to be a fan, but that’s another convo entirely.

[tonyglowheart]

1, 5, 19, 22 for the salty fandom asks

hey, anon, thanks for playing! (….I only realized now just what a can of worms I may be opening, but hashtag yolo, I go down, I go down in a blaze of salty glory I guess)

under a read-more because this…..got long………why am I even so salty why can’t I Chill,,,,,, :’)

[send me more numbers if you want to see more of me being a messy salty windbag lmao :’)]

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Honestly I don’t even consider this an OTP bc I’m so ??? but like….phl/int?? I just. Do not understand. And to this day. Still do not. And yet it’s sUCH a huge one in the fandom???? somehow??????

Honestly I kind of have an idea of some of the impetus but that is something I don’t even want to get into right now lmao.

5.Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

oH BOY, has it 8) 8). e.g. I literally Cannot with st*cky bc of the shit some of the nastier ppl put us (st/ony/tony fans through) back in the day. Like…..I literally had to blacklist bc I cannot even look at them 8) and every time I wanted to find Steve meta it was all st*cky stuff somehow. Plus, there was a time when the prevailing characterization (or at least that I saw) was really REALLY like……codependent and stuff? Like honestly I didn’t even hate/dislike any other ships at first, I even watched Kings just for Seb Stan?? Who I thought was great in it, he’s got a real way of angsting wordlessly that’s really effective. And also benefited him as the Winter Soldier. But like……I have him blacklisted now because I just 8) 8) when I see that/stucky stuff. 

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

the fact that canon is just so *massages temples* like all the time? Like honestly, on one hand I get the whole “ignore canon and enjoy it anyway” dealio, but on the other hand, I actually AM really resentful that I was trying to get into comics RIGHT as there was just…so much shit going on? Like I think one big moment I remember was during AXIS, which is…yikes. and then SIM, which we don’t talk about, which is more yikes? And then idk some other stuff, and incursions and prevailing grimdark culture (like it was all “hah, you thought superheroes would save you? Think again, NO ONE can save ANYONE!” like. c’mon, guys. You still WANT to make money, right?), and then whatever the heck secret wars/battleworld was. And then CWII???? and then Neo-Nazis Everywhere now. So like. y i kes.

and I wasn’t even really around during the first CW, and I’m already incredibly tired of it everywhere, including in MCU. Plus, I feel like Steve has been REALLY getting the short end of the stick with regards to everything. He’s sort of been at the mercy of whoever’s writing, and I kind of get the feeling ppl have just been sublimating their own vision of who the Captain America ideal should be (or subverting it for grimdark ~gritty~ ~realism~) and then extrapolating Steve from that, even though they COULD have done interesting stuff with juxtaposing those standards, Steve’s own moral standards, and maybe the conflict between him being a symbol for people but having his own views and stuff. I only just now in CW feel like I REALLY got a sense of who Steve is as a character, but unfortunately what coalesced is hardly flattering to the character :/

And like……honestly there’s a lot of stuff fandom-side, too. Off hand, I don’t think there’s much I hate about the Stevetony fandom? but I guess in terms of who I think about for that, it’s a specific subset of people I’ve seen around and interacted with or have followed for a bit. Like I haven’t really followed anyone new for a while now. but the marvel fandom at large….like….yike…………..the MCU fandom…… so much yike there. That specific subset of shippers who still think shipping is a great expression of LGBT allyship, who are the ones going “who do people even ship xxx??”, or just like….hating on people lmao.

Another thing I lowkey hate that isn’t necessarily directed at individual ppl is like….when non-Stevetony/tony fans are like “wow why are stevetony/tony fans so hateful/mean, they keep calling Steve a snake” or w.e Like….I get it bc they’re part of, e.g. the stucky fandom, and they’ve had the blessing of only coming into contact with nice ppl and never was on the receiving end of attacks or bullshit. But boy howdy, have Stevetony/Tony fans Been Through Some Shit. There’s a lot of, honestly, hurt there, and part of it is we spent so much time like mild about it and apologetic and we want some turnabout. It’s like that one tumblr post that’s like “fuck anyone who says forgive them ‘for my sake’ I’ve worked hard to hate them,” like for a LONG time, we were like “yes we love Tony, yes we know he’s not perfect, yes we acknowledge his flaws,” like we couldn’t just straight-up say we loved him as a character, we had to caveat it, and it was seen as a perfectly normalized part of the experience, to expect someone to come like “okay but also he’s evil because xxx” and have to be like “yeah okay we acknowledge xxxx but xxx.” Honestly I will fight for the right of ppl to their salt and try to contextualize as much as I can when I see stuff like that. bc you may not know but we haven’t forgotten :’)

There’s also a thing where I can’t tell if they’re in the stevetony fandom or they just….make posts, but those like …. “relatable” shipping posts that I sometimes will see bc mobile will rec it? Like I honestly hate those lmao. I find them cringey and painful to see. (those ones that are like “people think I’m so sweet and innocent but really I’m thinking of my gay ship fucking” or w.e like. maybe at some point I was like “omg same!” but now I’m like “please get this away from my face.” Or those ones where it’s like chat format like “isn’t xx sad?” “yeah isn’t it sad my ship isn’t canon?” or whatever like. D: D: that just makes me nnnoOOOOooooOOOOOooo inside. If you search a smattering of tumblr popular ships in tumb search You Will See Them. like, if you search johnlock destiel sterek or something like that. bc these ppl tag them with a million ship tags)

on that vein, really anyone tagging stuff with like character/ship tags that, imo, really....aren’t so much abt the ship but about themselves? Like, someone tagged their salt ask answer post with the character tags and I had to see someone say they don’t like stevetony and think comics Tony is a dick. Can You Think Before You Goddamn Tag pls and just Not. like ppl who bARELY mention Tony and still tag him in the tags........you realize it’s all going in a page right? it’s not just for your own blog? (but even then, what use is it to your blog when you mostly say “yeah I’ll be talking about him a lot!” but don’t.....actually say much about him.....in your post.............

There is still a lot of tony hating but honestly I’ve got so many ppl blocked now that I see more ppl referencing the antis in the tags (ugh) than I do actually antis anywhere. which honestly also kind of annoys me bc like. I am going into the Tony tag for content on my fave not content on the antis. 

I am just now realizing the original question said “one thing” and I went on about Many Things, so I am cutting myself off now lmao whoops

22.Popular character you hate?

I think honestly the closest is probably Coulson lmao. Like. I just. Don’t see the appeal in him as a character at all. And recently I was watching a bunch of vid compilations for Iron Man and EVERY TIME there was like “and there’s someone else you pissed off. his name is phil” i”m like “:/ :/ but did that part REALLY have to be there??” like sure I get it it’s their vid compilation. But just. What Is The Appeal.

And honestly……I’m kind of :/ about MCU Clint, too? Like, Fraction’s Hawkeye is awesome, but somehow that doesn’t really register as Clint to me. AA’s Clint is fine, but for some reason my mind tends to default to MCU Clint unless there’s further elaboration, and I just :/ :/ >:( re: him.

I also hate Howard but idk if he’s “popular” lol. I seriously hope not 8)