#<- that's a borrowed quote but i can't remember where it's from

[kiyomitakada]

what if kiyomi was the first Kira and misa was still second Kira

i wonder!

(bleh that's one of my older ficlets it's before i realized L is polite to literally everyone except light… so it ought to be takada-san but that's fine.)

anyway this ^ was my first attempt at the idea but it has been plaguing me for months and it looks very different in my head now. here are some Thoughts:

kiyomi as first kira

kiyomi is a very outspoken character who is relegated to the most passive position in the narrative. i don't think this was intentional, i think it was Misogyny of the Author, but it is very interesting to me in the context of this AU. i imagine she picked up the notebook fully intending to throw it away but hung onto it for instincts unknown (light also says in canon that "that notebook has a power that makes you want to try it"; i don't really subscribe to the idea that the notebook controls you but i feel like it's fair enough to say it has some kind of weak draw), and then didn't try it until ryuk showed up and she freaked out.

ryuk would be like well if you don't want to use it then just give it back to me. kiyomi "superiority complex" "control freak" takada refuses immediately. i think she'd rather die than get her memory wiped (i have not thought far enough to get to yotsuba arc yet. don't worry about it) and the idea that ryuk dropped it randomly and giving it back might result in some ~mass murderer~ getting it would be horrifying to her.

so of course she has to use it.

i actually have a different post in my drafts about how i think each dn character would use the death note but here is what i have for her

kiyomi: picks up the death note out of curiosity, scoffs, fully intends to throw it away but forgets until ryuk shows up. at which point she starts killing specific government officials at a rate of about one per day (she can't stomach indiscrete killing the way the others can). all the officials are found with a fingerprint-less knife stuck in their chest, so the police suspect a mundane serial killer, but no level of protection has been enough to save any of them yet. kiyomi probably tries to make them write down political demands as her "calling card" and then gets mad when she can't do that (the death note doesn't allow people to write things they don't know). instead she has to send tapes to sakura tv, where she interns, to get her manifesto out. the one time a knife isn't immediately available, the death note makes the politician die of a heart attack, which the media naturally attributes to stress. but Something Feels Off to L… do you know how much i would pay for the protagonist kiyomi takada version of death note do you KNOW she'd be so insane in a completely different way

i stand by this. kiyomi is way more politically minded than light, she talks to him and mikami about supporting kira entirely of her own volition, her first move when light tells her to start airing her own opinions is to talk about how she thinks the education system should start teaching kids about kira and how kira should instruct the army on how to act. kiyomi takada is fucking terrifying. Do Not Let This Girl Into The Government.

"but she supports the canon kira so wouldn't she act like him?"

well the problem is kiyomi has the intention but never has the resolve until pressed

(i have the manga panels to prove this but i can't be bothered to dig them up right now. sorry. One Day i will write a full kiyomi analysis and it will even be decent)

in this way she is much like chapter 1 light yagami. light going on a murder spree because he thinks his soul is about to be taken = kiyomi shaking and bloody in the back of mello's truck thinking i have to judge as many people as possible right now.

so in this scenario, since she didn't start killing until ryuk showed up and explained things to her, kiyomi is not motivated by fear for her life but rather fear for her memory + her canon support for killing everyone + "if someone else had this they'd do much worse than me" (just like light, with that one) (who else would have the guts?). so she does kill people but not as many. she puts thought into each one. ideally she wants to kill as little as possible for maximum impact.

i think she wavers between staging these deaths as suicides (invoking the societal stigma around them & so that there would naturally be a suicide note, etc) or making them obvious murders and would eventually go with the latter because she . also has a god complex. i mean nooo obviously it's because politicians will be more scared if they know someone's out there to get them!

anyway

what the fuck does the first arc look like

kiyomi imo gets just as mad as light does about being called evil. but unlike light she has more experience being called a cold bitch, snake, little miss perfect, etc, so she sees lind l tailor and does deep breathing exercises because killing him on air would do nothing but traumatize generations of children

so basically the broadcast ends and nothing happens until sometime around midnight lind l tailor drops dead of a heart attack

interpol was originally very mad at L for staging this whole thing because he has far less evidence that the killings are supernatural in this one, but they're kind of creeped out by this because of that other politician who had a heart attack — tailor was in the prime of his health and everything (L picked the death row inmate with the least history of cardiac disorders)

anyway [sighs really hard] this whole plot has to be reworked from the bottom up because kiyomi doesn't have access to police information and, unlike light, is not invested in The Game as much as she is societal change, so she wouldn't want to draw L out and eliminate him in the first place.

(i think kiyomi and light share the same fundamental loneliness in their souls — "if you were smarter this could've been interesting" / "you're the only man i've ever actually admired" — but kiyomi is drawn not just to intelligence but to people who share her principles, whereas light is drawn to people who can beat him at his own game. this is one area where they are different! thank god!)

(you could argue kiyomi is too, considering her reaction to misa, but her immediate response when misa starts getting under her skin is trying to leave)

(and besides i'm not even sure if kiyomi ever realizes lind l tailor was a scheme. like presumably she knows L is still alive and panics the day after when L is like hi. im still here. but since her killing was time-delayed L might not be able to get as much information and so he has no reason to gloat.)

anyway kiyomi's not giving L any clues so basically things are going to be a lot harder for L

but she's also going to spread kira's message through news stations so…………… more information source there? better not fuck up with that voice modulator kiyo

misa as second kira

oh thank god, l lawliet thinks, a development, i was about to die of stagnation

thankfully no matter how things shake out in first arc i think misa would still try to use the tv stations & the fake diary to get to kira, so that doesn't change. although since kira's voice is already becoming established she might have to do it in a more roundabout way (remember she also didn't want the cops to figure out she wasn't the first kira)

maybe this is how we can get manga misa to sing i'll only love you more????

anyway. they meet in aoyama, still. kiyomi went for the same reason light did: she has to size up her threat (see: inviting misa to dinner)

light & kiyomi significant difference no. 2: perceived gender

misa voice kira is a GIRL?!?!?!?!

she still buys all the information she can get on kiyomi. ("kiyomi takada… what a boring name.") (fun fact kiyo's pretty much the only character in death note with an entirely normal name; this is why her death is so shocking)

so misa shows up at her house all casual-like

light & kiyomi significant difference no. 3: where light's thought is "this girl isn't as stupid as i thought" kiyomi's thought is "this girl is the most dangerous person i have ever met"

like as far as kiyomi knows L is kind of useless. misa is the first direct challenge she has ever faced. misa can kill just by looking at a person. misa has a death note and she is sure as hell not giving it to kiyomi.

because if you interpret kiyomi this way, she hasn't avenged misa's parents

(i wonder if i could come up with a reason for her to do that because i admit the whole misa arc doesn't make as much sense otherwise… but let's assume not for now)

so why does misa want to meet up with her anyway?

well. who else is there who would understand.

anyway i kind of picture them close to this yagamane dynamic (sorry yagamane i'm stealing your valor). misa doesn't have any reason to be grateful to kiyomi, but she does want to be useful still, wants to have a purpose. wants to have people she can talk to in perfect honesty, but also has kiyomi's real name dangling over her head at all times and wants her to know that

also. crucially. she wants to have a perfect family because of course she does. in canon light is her gateway to this: by becoming his girlfriend she can integrate into the family dynamic. calls soichiro her dad, calls sachiko her mom… but this doesn't work with kiyomi because she's a girl and misa, as we all know, is totally one hundred percent heterosexual.

so. so:

Kiyomi sighs. "Okay. I… I suppose it's a deal." "Yay!" Amane jumps up and flings her arms around Kiyomi's neck; she's warm and unexpectedly bony and smells like artificially flavored shampoo and Kiyomi's heart spasms in her chest. It's been a long time since anyone's hugged her like this. She's a mature young woman and that means she doesn't hug people. "You won't regret this, Kiyo-chan!" "I am already," Kiyomi mutters. It's far too mean, far too revealing, but — oh, who cares, Amane already knows she's a serial killer. Amane's triumphant smirk as she pulls away carves its way into her skin regardless: she knows Kiyomi didn't mean to say that. "I'm so happy," Amane keeps going, patting her dress down like she's worried Kiyomi's gotten lint on it. "I've always wanted a little sister!" Kiyomi stares. "What." The look Amane casts her is pitying. "Didn't you know? You're a year younger than me." "That is not the problem here," Kiyomi hisses. (It is sort of the problem.) "I'm an only child!" "I know," Amane says very patiently, "I bought all your records, remember? I'm an only child too!" Is this a bonding moment? Is Kiyomi finally experiencing Lady Macbeth insanity? "We don't look anything like each other," she points out. "If you're planning on another disguise—" Amane rolls her eyes. "Ugh, you're so serious all the time. Lighten up a little! I'm joking! We can just be sisters from different mothers, or whatever they say. Together forever, you know? Through thick and thin? You won't die on me, will you?" Kiyomi, being an only child, is not entirely sure what having a sibling is like, but she's pretty sure the rage(?) coiling in her stomach isn't it. "…Not unless you kill me." Amane smiles. It's not as wide as usual. "Well, that's a start."

[jellybuttons]

Crowley's "oh" moment wasn't him realizing that he's in love

Okay so we've all talked about the scene where Nina asks Crowley if Aziraphale is his "bit on the side" or whatever and Crowley has that visable fanfiction "oh" moment on his face afterwards. And I know a lot of people think it must have been Crowley realizing that he was in love with Aziraphale, but that's never sat right with me. Crowley is emotionally repressed and oblivious, sure, but he's been down bad for that angel since the beginning. I just can't believe he didn't know it the whole time. That can't have been what he was reacting to. Hell, just the nervous swallow he does at the beginning of that conversation implies that he knows exactly what Nina is about to ask him, meaning he at least already has that idea in his head.

I think what he was reacting to was Nina's last comment, "other people's love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own" (I'm quoting from memory but I got the gist of it).

Crowley has been in love for a long time by this point. He's also, for that entire time, understood that nothing can be done about it. Up until Armageddon failed, there was no universe where Crowley and Aziraphale could safely be together, and Crowley cares too much about Aziraphale to truly risk his safety (although he does have his selfish moments--that need to know that Aziraphale cares for him too, that he's not completely alone in this partnership). Nothing could change, so there was no point in doing anything about it.

In the few years post Armageddon, though, it seems like QUITE a bit has changed for the two of them. Remember, these are two immortal beings...a few years is milliseconds to them. But in those milliseconds, it seems like Crowley has become a regular establishment in the bookshop, glasses off and all. Aziraphale felt comfortable enough with him to ask to borrow the Bentley, Crowley's prized possession and his literal home. They've gotten COMFY in a very short amount of time, objectively, and I'm sure it felt like big change to Crowley, who knows better than to ask for things he doesn't think he can have.

But Nina's comment. "Other people's love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own". A direct parallel to exactly how Crowley has been thinking about her and Maggie this whole time--two people who just need a push (romantic awning, anyone?) and everything else would fall into place. Easy. Uncomplicated.

Crowley's "oh" moment isn't that he's in love with Aziraphale. It's that maybe being in love with Aziraphale doesn't have to be complicated.

Other people's love lives DO seem more straightforward than Crowley's own. But if Nina feels that way about him, as sure as he is about her and Maggie...could it be that easy? Could he have that with his angel? I don't think at this point that Crowley has any doubt about whether or not Aziraphale feels something for him (whatever that something may be in Crowley's mind), but after all...Aziraphale asked him to slow down. So he's been taking it slow. Hanging around more. Leaning into his space. Soaking up every second of Az's smiles like a dying man, content with whatever he's given.

But Nina. She thinks they're together already. No doubt in her mind. She thinks it's so straightforward, that of COURSE they're together, two people who look at each other with that much love in their eyes must be, right? And I think that "oh" is Crowley's realization that maybe it IS straightforward. After all, they're them, right? No more Heaven, no more Hell, no actual reason they couldn't just...be together. In that moment, Crowley isn't realizing that he's in love with Aziraphale. He's known he's in love for a very long time. No, that moment was him realizing that, maybe, he can stop pretending not to be, that maybe all they have to do is stop pretending they aren't everything to each other. Does he need to slow down if there's no danger to avoid?

When Nina and Maggie confront him at the end, encourage him to confess...objectively, I don't think Crowley as a character would agree to anything nearly that vulnerable without a LOT more convincing. But he does agree. And you could argue that it's because of Gabe and Beez, sure, but when has Crowley ever used other angels and demons as reasoning behind his choices? No, consistently, Crowley has followed humans every time. Gabe and Beez are nothing but conveniently timed examples. I think that even without G and B running off together, Nina and Maggie could've convinced him after nothing but this "oh" conversation with Nina.

When Crowley is choking out his confession in the final 15 of episode 6, so desperate to make Aziraphale understand...he says "we're a pair, a group, a group of the two of us, and we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't". That's the point he's trying to get across. They can stop pretending, they can stop pretending, please, god, stay here Aziraphale and don't make him keep pretending.

Please, Aziraphale, he's saying. Don't go back. I only just realized that it doesn't have to be complicated. He realized that, maybe, finally, he was allowed.

Oh, he thought, out there on the sidewalk with Nina, there's nothing left but me stopping me from being happy.

Oh, he thought, while Nina and Maggie urged him to communicate, the couple that so perfectly mirrored his own wants, I could tell him how I feel.

Oh, he thought, as Aziraphale looked at him with excited eyes and explained that he wanted them both to go back to Heaven, that Crowley could become an angel again, that they could go right back to working for the very thing that had been keeping them apart for thousands of years. Oh, oh god. I thought it was over. I thought we were free. I thought that, finally, maybe, it could be easy. Maybe we can stop pretending.

And he kissed him. Because fuck, just like with Nina and Maggie, he thought it could finally be easy, but then communicating didn't work and nothing was easy and all he had left was one fabulous kiss and vavoom and he was desperate and off script and so, so scared and then he was alone in the Bentley, driving away from the bookshop, completely alone.

Maybe Crowley should've kept pretending. It would've hurt less.

[13as07]

Elegant #1

(Shino Aburame)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to JUHiHUJi]

Requested by: Anonymous

Word Count: 3,502

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

It's a western theme wedding style cause I was lazy and didn't want to do research

Alcohol Use

———————————————————————

     I let out another strained breath, glancing over my wedding dress in the body mirror again. What if Shino doesn't like the style? What if he's getting cold feet? What if he leaves me alone at the altar? What if -

     "Wow," a voice says softly, drawing out the word. "You're so... beautiful." My sights jump up, glancing in the mirror to figure out who's behind me. Naruto's frame fills the mirror as he walks closer, settling behind me as his eyes jump over my dress. He's smiling ear to ear, with stars hanging in his eyes as he looks at me. "You're the second prettiest bride I've ever seen."

     "Second?" I ask, smiling back at him.

     "Ya, sorry but you can't beat out how pretty Hinata was at our wedding. She'll always hold that first place price."

     I laugh at the love-struck newlywed. Hinata and Naruto got married two months ago, and I swear he still looks at her the way he did at their ceremony.

     "Now, I know Sakura will drag me out by my ear if she catches me in here, the whole bad energy from seeing you - "

     "That's only for the groom, Naruto. Groom's men aren't included in that," I correct, shifting around so we can face each other. My squadmate looks pretty nice when he gets dressed up, even if his hair is still messy and pointed every which way.

     Naruto's cheeks dusty a slight pink as he rubs the back of his head. "Oh, right. Anyway, I remember the whole 'new, old, borrowed, blue' thing from my wedding. I don't know if you're doing that like Hinata did but I did bring you something blue just in case."

     "I wasn't planning on it but I appreciate the thought, Naruto," I tell him, leaning forward to wrap my arms around him.

He wraps his arms around me too, being careful not to mess up my perfectly constructed look for my special day. "Anyway, you want to see my gift?"

"Yes, I do."

"Just so you know, this is fully from me. I did it - well Hinata stitched it - but it was fully my idea, all of it," Naruto rambles, digging through his pockets in search of my gift.

He tugs out a square cloth, the main color being a rich blue with the edges being his signature obnoxious orange color. Naruto holds it in front of me, letting the cloth tumble undone to its full size. It's no bigger than a napkin. In careful stitches is the quote 'Trust is knowing that when a squad mate pushes you, they're doing it because they care'.

"Naruto," I mumble, reaching forward to hold the ends of the cloth.

"Pretty nifty, huh? Hinata had a section of Neji's robe turned into a handkerchief, so I asked her to do the same with my old jacket. I figured you could pin it under your dress. If not that's cool too. Oh! And don't worry, Hinata cleaned the material like a bazillion times."

     "Naruto," I call again, tears in my eyes as I lunge forward, wrapping my arms around his neck again. "You dumb gushy fox," I say with a smile and tears of appreciation.

     "Do you not like it? Oh! Please don't cry, you're going to ruin your makeup," he rushes out, carefully slipping at the water that threatens to ruin the makeup I spent an hour on.

"I love it, Naruto," I tell him, smiling at him to send the point home. "You big goof. Would you pin it to my dress?" I ask, shifting my skirt around to figure out where I want it pinned.

"Of course! Let me go find a pin."

————————————

"Just some final touches," Sakura mumbles, running the makeup brush over my cheeks again. "Oh, and a few puffs of perfume," she says, jumping to her feet and rummaging around the table covered in different products.

     "I can't wear perfume, you know that. It messes with Shino's kikaichus."

     "So, you know how Shino has been queasy off and on the last couple of months?" She mumbles, now digging through her bag.

     "Sakura," I utter, my tone warning because of the way our conversation is heading.

     "Well, it's because Hinata and I have been testing different perfumes," She finishes, standing up with a small box in her hands.

     "Sakura!"

     "Oh calm down, it was only a handful of times and only a squirt or two every time. No Shinos and no kikaichus were harmed. Besides, it’s your wedding day. You should be wearing a new perfume to celebrate. It just so happens to be the only perfume that doesn't annoy or make your husband's parasites sick. Now come here and let me spray you down."

     I roll my eyes at her but do get up from my spot. I twirl in a slow circle, letting Sakura coat me in the flower-scented perfume. "See? So much better, plus you can wear perfume more often since it doesn't mess with Shino."

     "I guess so," I mutter, shaking my head at her. I swear Sakura never uses her brain outside of missions.

     "Alright, I'll leave your fancy new scent here on the table," She says, making a show of putting it back in the box and leaving the box on the table. "We need to get going for your first look and such." Shino isn't much of an emotional man and is rarely emotional around other people, so we decided a private first look would be best.

     She leads the way, my veil in her hold, held above her head so it doesn't drag on the ground as we head outside. "Wait here," she mutters after the short walk, stopping long enough to situate the clips of my veil into my hair.

Sakura slips away, leaving me to admire the cherry blossoms as she goes looking for my husband. I do just that, walking along the small path and toying with the heavy branches being weighed down by the weight of their blooms.

Enjoying the scenery helps with some of the anxiety surrounding today. I'm more than thrilled to spend the rest of my life with Shino, but it's still nerve-racking to think about all the things that could go wrong today, let alone the future.

"You don't always have to be such a lug!" Sakura's voice rings out after a few minutes, tugging my focus in the direction we came from earlier.

My best friend is dragging my very soon-to-be husband down the short path, a blindfold wrapped around his eyes to ensure he's not cheating. Shino looks nice, dressed fancy for once and his hair slicked back instead of loose and bushy like usual. "I do not see the point in doing this. I will see her when she walks down the aisle," he grumbles, slowly trudging after Sakura as she pulls him my way.

"I don't want you loosening your macho-ness because you burst into tears in front of everyone," I tease, causing his head to snap in the direction of my voice.

A group of his kikaichus slips out, eagerly flapping their way toward me. Some stay buzzing around me, with a few others clinging to different parts of my clothing. This has been a common thing during our relationship, Shino's bugs ditching him to investigate me or chew at a bit of my chakra. I freaked out the first time it happened but he insists they mean no harm and it helps him feel close to me. Since then, it's come to be something that calms me down, which I need with how loud my heartbeat seems to be.

"I would not and will not cry," he mumbles, stopping in the spot Sakura leaves him in.

"Lug," she murmurs before turning toward me. "I'm going to go make sure everything is settled. Once you two are done, send Shino in and come wait in the corridor, alright?"

"Alright, I'll see you in a few minutes."

With that, Sakura turns on her heels to head towards the waiting guests, leaving the two of us alone for the first time today. "You don't think you're going to cry when you see me?" I ask, reaching forward to toy with his sunglasses that Sakura slithered the blindfold under.

"No, I do not," he whispers, his hands sliding up to wrap around my arms, causing more of his kikaichus to spill out, coating both of our arms now.

I slowly slide my touch backward, taking my time to rest his glasses on his head before I tug at the knot keeping the cloth in place around his eyes. Once the cloth is loose, I take a step back, letting the material dangle from my fingertips.

Shino's eyes are squinted because of the setting sun. I knew they would be, but I want to see his whole reaction especially since this is something that won't happen again. His sight crawls around my body, falling down my dress like a waterfall before climbing back up my frame like a mountain. "Perhaps," he starts, voice cracking as he repeatedly blinks. "Perhaps, I was wrong."

     Once the words are out, he breaks, tears rolling down his cheeks, chasing away the kikaichus that have been clinging to his face. Shino moves forward, enveloping me in his arms so he can hold me. "You look elegant, my Ladybug," he whispers into my hair, his little friends following their leader and knotting themselves in my locks.

     When Shino pulls back, his focus shifts from me to helping his beetles untangle their legs, being careful not to mess up my hair and not to hurt his bugs. He spends the whole time trying to blink away the fresh tears forming in his eyes; he fails, forming water lines down his cheeks.

     "Oh, Shino," I coo when he pulls the rest of the way apart from me. I cup his face, using my thumbs to brush away his tears. "You look very elegant too."

"Not as elegant as you, my dear," he mutters, leaning down to brush a kiss against my lips.

————————————

I shift my dress again, making sure it's laid perfectly as I wait for Kakashi to join me. There's about ten minutes until I'm expected to walk down the aisle with my Sensei giving me away to my husband, to my Shino. My nerves have evened out since our time together under the cherry blossoms, leaving me filled with nothing but joy.

"There's my gorgeous daughter-in-law," Shibi's soft voice calls from behind me.

I turn a bit, making sure not to mess up my carefully laid-out dress and my thin veil settled on top of it. I decided on a royal-length veil, more so because that's what Shino wanted than me, but it is his wedding as well. If he wants me to wear a long veil that trails behind me, I don't mind.

"You look lovely," Shibi compliments again, making his way forward. He stops in front of me, careful hands cupping my cheeks. He tilts my head down, brushing a gentle kiss to my hairline. "You are beautiful. The most beautiful bride my son could ask for."

"Thank you," I mutter, tilting my head back up so I can look at my father-in-law. A soft smile is on his face as he looks down at me. This is one of the few times I've seen Shibi truly content, which only solidifies my decision to marry his son. Shibi is the smartest man I know, and if he agrees with my decision it must be the right one.

"I have a gift for you, a temporary one," he mutters, pulling away from me. "Since Shino and you decided to have a night wedding, I figured a little extra glow would be nice," Shibi tells me, throwing up a few hand signals.

Soft flapping fills the space, a small squirm of bugs following the command they were given. "What are you doing?" I ask, tilting my head backward, watching the bugs settle in a neat line along the hem of my veil.

"Watch," he orders, shifting his hand placement to send out another command.

The bugs shift their wings, a soft glow coming from them, decorating my veil with the soft yellow coloring. "Shibi!" I call in joy, lunging forward to catch him in a hug. "It's beautiful! Thank you."

"You're welcome," he utters, unclinging my arms from around him. Shibi isn't much of a touchy person, a trait his son inherited too. "After the ceremony, I'll need them back, of course."

"Of course," I echo, sending him another smile.

     He nods his head, letting his hands fall back down to his sides. "I should get seated before the ceremony begins. I look forward to seeing you walk down the aisle," Shibi mutters, nodding his head once more before he slips around the corner, heading into the crowd that's eagerly waiting for me to enter.

     I adjust my dress again, carefully toying with my veil so I don't hurt or knock off any of the lightening bugs clinging to it. I have a few moments of silence, giving my anxiety the chance to crawl into my rib cage again. After today, Shino and me will be bound together forever, until the end of our time.

     "There you are," my Sensei calls, pulling me out of my head. "I didn't know you were done getting ready yet." He mutters, adjusting the pin-comb that's holding my veil in place. "You look like an angel."

     "You don't look too bad yourself," I tease, glancing over Kakashi's put-together look. It's weird seeing my Sensei out of his usual outfit.

     He rolls his eyes, letting out a disapproving hum. Despite the small banter, Kakashi still leans forward, resting the side of his head against mine with his arms loosely wrapped around me. "The lightning bugs are a nice touch," he whispers, squeezing me before he tugs himself away.

"They're a temporary gift from Shibi."

"Well, I have a permanent gift for you. Just don't tell the others, they might get jealous."

"Ya?" I ask, watching Sensei dig through his pockets, the familiar sound of our training bells filling the air when he tugs them out of his pocket.

Kakashi hums again, giving me a rare masked and closed-eyed smile. "Naruto gave you his gift already, yes?" He asks, clinking the bells so they'll ring again.

"Yes, he did," I answer, lifting a layer of my dress to show off the handkerchief Naruto pinned to my dress.

He nods again, bending down so he can kneel on the ground. Kakashi works carefully, unlike my clumsy squad mate. Sensei moves slowly, unpinning the handkerchief and laying it on his knee so he can wrap his bells around the pin before pinning both items under my dress again. "There, now you'll have all three of us attached to you during the night."

"When did you get all gushy?" I tease, shaking my leg a bit. You can't hear the bells around the fabric but I can feel their imprint against me.

"When Naruto got married, and again now. I'm sure it'll happen again when Sakura and Sasuke get married too," Kakashi answers, straightening up before taking his spot next to me. "Are you ready to do this?" He asks, prompting his arm out toward me.

     "As ready as ever," I answer, clinging to the bend of his elbow.

     "That's my girl," he mutters, poking his head around the corner to send Sakura the signal that we're ready.

————————————

Shino's hands cling to me for dear life, his social anxiety at an all-time high as he spins us in slow, small circles. His left-hand grips mine, his ring digging into my fingers, threatening to leave an imprint. His right-hand rests on my waist, clinging to the material of my dress. "I despise dancing," he mutters, focus flickering around the millions of eyes watching us have our first dance.

"I know."

"Everyone is watching us."

"I know."

"You are my wife now."

"You are my husband now," I echo, shifting forward, I loop my arms around his neck, laying his head on my shoulder. Shino gratefully takes the change, his arms tight around my waist and his nose buried into my neck.

We sway, still moving in slow circles around the dance floor. "I will not be dancing again tonight," he whispers into my neck, the feeling of his kikaichus exploring the new position, little legs tugging at the material of my dress.

"I know, I appreciate you doing this though."

"Of course, Ladybug."

Shino reluctantly pulls away from me as the song comes to an end, fresh tears raining on his face. "What's wrong?" I ask, hands jumping up to wipe away his tears before anyone else notices.

"Nothing, my dear," he answers, fingers wrapping around mine to pull them away from his face. "You... are perfect," he mutters, glancing around before quickly pressing a kiss to my fingertips. "Can we go sit now?"

"Yes we can," I murmur, smiling from ear to ear as my husband tugs me off the dance floor.

Cheers from the guests fill the room, a few of them jumping up from their spots to take up the dance floor as the next song starts. Kiba and Naruto are beaming from the head table, as are my bridesmaids; Sakura and Hinata. "Our baby is all grown up!" Kiba cheers, Hinata giggling and nodding in agreement.

"Be quiet," Shino mumbles, helping me into my chair before he sits down alongside me. Once we're situated, his hand messes with my dress, ruffling my layers in search of a small amount of skin on skin. "What's that?" He asks as his fingertips slide over the pinned presents from my squad mates, head tilting down to glance at the items.

"Bells from my Sensei and a handkerchief from Naruto," I answer, helping him move my dress out of the way.

He hums softly, fingertips digging into my knee as he clings to it. His thumb slides over my knee on repeat, a kikaichu or two crawling over his fingers, occasionally dipping down and crossing my knee. "You are perfect," he repeats, sending me a rare smile before turning to hell at Kiba again.

I smile to myself, soaking in the repeated compliment. "Well, Mrs. Aburame," Sakura teases, a huge smile on her face as well. "What does it feel like being officially married now?"

"Wonderful."

————————————

Sakura and I belt out jumbled lyrics of the song playing, the liquor in our system commanding our dancing with both of our wet blankets of partners watching. Sasuke and Shino are sat near each other, both men's full attention on us as we dance. "What do you think they're thinking right now?" She asks, her arms dangling over my shoulders as we move in beat with each other.

"Well, knowing Sasuke he's probably talking himself out of killing me and Shino might have one or two more songs in him before he gets clingy again."

Sakura lets out a loud cackle, the alcohol chipping away the bubbly cute persona she tries to maintain. Her laughter only increased when Shino starts heading our way. "You're wrong about Sasuke but it seems you were right about Shino."

"Right about what?" My husband asks, impatience in his voice as he stands next to us, both of us still swaying to the music.

     "About you wanting my attention," I answer, pulling away from my friend to wrap Shino up in my arms.

     "That is not what I want," he mutters, staying still as I squeeze him in my hold. "I wish for us to go home. I would like some alone time with my wife," Shino airs out the last word like he can't comprehend being able to use it.

     "What kind of alone time?" I ask, sliding my hands up to toy with the ends of his hair, fluttering my eyelashes at him.

     "Just... alone time," he whispers, a hint of pink dust on his cheeks. "Should I have it announced that the ceremony is over?"

     "Have them announce the party is over in thirty minutes," I mutter back, letting my arms fall to his shoulders, leaning myself against my husband. I tip my head up, lips brushing against his ear as I speak. "If you can't wait thirty minutes I'd be more than happy to give you a little... support." I let a hum out, flickering my eyes down.

     Shino's face is full red now, mouth gapping a bit. "That is not... we cannot... Ladybug," he stutters, as flustered with my straightforwardness as ever. "I am... that is something I have been excited about today, but that... that is an at-home activity."

     "I know, I'm just teasing."

     He lets out a sigh of relief, gently pulling me off of him. "Your mind is lacking the elegance the rest of you possess."

     "I know."

———————————————————————

[class1akids]

New Horikoshi interview from Da Vinci Magazine

Some rough TL under the cut

A long interview with Kohei Horikoshi (Da Vinci Magazine, August 2024) - snippets (using google translate)

It has been 10 years since the series started in 2014. The weekly manga serialized in WSJ reached the milestone of 40 volumes.  Volume 41 is scheduled to be released on August 2nd.

About the “best hero”

When I looked back on the path that I have taken so far, at the end of the first episode, the main character, the young boy Midoriya, said, ``This is the story of how I became the best hero.' I really feel that letting him talk was a decisive move. If "strongest" is determined by a numerical value, "best" is determined by something that cannot be quantified. ``I thought it would be a series that explores what ``the best'' is.''

``In the early stages, I tentatively envisioned the best hero as one who can save people with a smile, but I think that will probably change. This is not a hero manga, but a story about people aiming to become heroes. It's a story about how a group of young boys arrive at the ultimate hero, a vague idea for which they still don't know the answer. 

In a volume extra, you revealed that the main character's nickname Deku is borrowed from Kenji Miyazawa's poem ``Ame Nimo Makezu” / Be not Defeated by the Rain

In college, I was reading the poems of Kenji Miyazawa because it was cool.  When drawing “Heroaka” I felt that I couldn't move forward unless I solidified my own image of the hero. As I was reading books by great historical figures and looking back on things I had seen and heard in the past, I came across something amazing that Kenji Miyazawa said in ``Ame-nimo-makezu.'' [The quote the poem] That’s what I remembered.”

When drawing the final act and thinking about where this manga will end up, I realized that the world can change a lot if you just take a moment to consider the people next to you. As we were trying to bring the story to that point, Ochako and her friends from Class A realized that there was no way they would leave Deku alone, so that's how they created the story.''

The Rooftop Speech was originally a karaoke scene:

``In that scene, Ochako shouts from above the UA Rooftop to encourage Deku.”

I used an idea that I had at the beginning of the series, but ultimately discarded.

When Deku enters UA High School, he is the only one who doesn’t do well in class. He’s feeling down about not being able to do it. The students all talked about having a social gathering and ended up going to karaoke after school.

Okay. Everyone sings together after introducing themselves, but Deku is depressed and sits alone in a corner. Ochako is next to him.  When it was her turn to sing, it is Miyuki Nakajima's ``Fight!” This is a song that gets exciting after the chorus hits. 

When Deku was about to leave, she turned towards Deku as she sang the chorus, as if she was encouraging him.  It's like cheering someone up by singing.

At that time, I felt like it wasn't the right time to do a scene like that, but I kept thinking that I wanted to do it, and that ultimately led to the scene where she gave the speech on the rooftop

When I watch anime, I feel like I can't lose.

[They talk about the 2015 Horikoshi – Kishimoto interview]

Having an anime is an indicator of success, isn't it? I remember being surprised at how quickly I reached that goal.  When I was told that there would be a movie, I couldn't believe it. The movie adaptation of the “Jump” anime is “DRAGON BALL” or “ONE PIECE”. Only the flagship works.

In addition to the joy of meeting new readers who picked up manga because of the anime, the existence of anime also stimulated Horikoshi.

The anime and the manga try to compete with each other. To take on the challenge of providing the kind of power that can only be obtained from manga, something that can never be obtained from anime - If I did that, I would end up spending a lot of time writing names and drawing things, and things would become more and more difficult.

At the same time, he began to feel pressure from the expectations of those around him.

It's a stupid story about feeling so much pressure that you feel like you're going to collapse.

How did you overcome that?

Mr. Monji, the editor in charge at the time, said, ``It's okay.'' That's what he kept telling me. That was a huge relief. As I continued to draw while thinking that it was painful, once I was able to draw a story that made perfect sense to me, I started to think that everything was okay. I realized that it would be easier for me if I didn't worry about popularity and just made the manga interesting, and I feel like I was able to draw it more easily from there.''

About Movie 4: You’re Next: This time too, it is a movie that would get anyone excited.

In the series, the final stage of the final battle is being depicted at the time of the interview. When the 4th movie will be released on August 2nd, there will already be a strong hint of the final episode. 

As with previous works, Horikoshi serves as the general supervisor and character designer for the movie.  

What made me happy was that Kuroda-san (screenplay) said in an interview, ``We have to value Deku's sense of being a student.''  It’s the same vision as mine.

[... He talks about the 3rd movie and how his confidence in the anime staff solidified] 

The 4th movie also incorporates many of your ideas. For example as regards the original villain in the movie version, All Might's fake "Dark Might". In fact, once the gist of the story was almost finalized, Horikoshi felt that the villain needed some ingenuity, so he suggested Dark Might.

That’s right. At work, I casually proposed something like this. However, now that I think about it, among the various plot ideas that Kuroda-san came up with, there was one called ``Black All Might.'' There was a story behind it. I think that's what I had in mind. Also, I added flowers and other stylish elements to the visuals.” I feel good this time. I think we also talked about how it would be more interesting if we changed the color.'' 

Regarding Dark Might's existence and ``quirk''

Although this theatrical version is a bigger spectacle than ever before, it also delicately depicts the preciousness of different "quirks" and "personalities" coming together, and the closeness of small hearts.

If we can express something like fraternity in a broad sense through the original characters of the movie, the movie will be different from what we've seen before, and we'll probably be able to see what Deku and his friends in the manga will be like in the future.''

The 4th movie is the final installment of the series.

The story was written precisely because of this timing.

``The movie is designed in such a way that you can understand it even if you haven't read the original work or followed the anime series. Even if you just go to the movie theater without any prior information, you'll be like, wow, that's interesting.

You should be able to think of it. This time too, everyone will be excited

I think it's a movie that will make you feel good.

Don't let your guard down until the end, but enjoy it until the end

As we approach the end of the series, what will happen to the series? What is the story you are trying to portray in the final battle of the final chapter?

``I think what we're doing in the final battle is peeling off the labels and attributes that the characters have cultivated. We're peeling off all the things that this aloof hero wears.  By stripping away the things that the diabolical villain wears, I find that there are parts of him that I can empathize with as a human being. I'm going to look for it to see if it exists.

“Fun” includes the fun of interacting with readers through manga.

Sometimes we think of others as beings who stand at a height we cannot reach, or as beings who live in another world where we cannot communicate with them. However, if you realize that they are also human beings and neighbors living in the same society, you can get closer to them.

“Even though it seems like we're talking about a really big story, we might actually be telling a really small story.''

The series will soon reach its final episode.

“This work is my third serialized work. However, since the previous two series didn't go well, I thought it would be the end if the next one failed.

I thought this was my last chance to draw in Jump. Since it was my last time, my first priority was drawing a manga that I would enjoy. Fortunately, I am still able to enjoy drawing even now. 

The reason I feel this way is because I haven't been able to write a weekly series properly, the number of pages has been reduced, and I've had a lot of time off.”

However, unlike when I started the series, I am no longer enjoying it on my own.

“When I first started, I just wanted to have fun. 

However, if you can tell an interesting story, readers will respond better. The numbers in the reader survey skyrocketed, and I cried when I received the fan mail. When I get feedback like this, I wonder if I was able to provide a good manga experience, and I started having fun imagining what I could do to give them an even better manga experience. 

Nowadays, “fun'” includes the fun of interacting with readers through manga. I was able to get to the point where I felt like I could land properly, even though I was a bit torn up. 

“I want to enjoy drawing until the end. I am.”

(May 2, 2024, somewhere in Tokyo)

[kpiuniverse]

Ani Book Club #4: The Message

So, there's this Animorphs book club going on right now. I have dreamt of finding people to gush over this series for years, but now that the Club is on, I can't find the time or motivation to participate.

But the thing is; I read them as they were released (one per month) when I was a kid, and reread them a hundred times over the years - except for the #14 and #17, I had to borrow from my best friend and for the last ones (#47-#52) that NEVER WERE TRANSLATED IN FRENCH.

So I figured, why not make a post about: what I remembered vs what I take when I read again now. Here goes #4 The Message.

What I remembered:

This is the one where they find Ax

Cassie has bad dreams, yadiyada, Tobias too, yadiyada, Jake only take it seriously because Cassie (so in character, my guy), yadiyada, they go to the ocean, yadiyada, they find a sunk Dome ship which they don't even get to explore, yadiyada, battle as usual, yadiyada, Deux-ex-machina 'look there's a way to combine DNA so that the alien of team can pass as a human for the upcoming 50+ books. The end.

The battle with the sharks is the first one that shocked me back then - and convinced me to keep my mouth shut about the books toward any parental figure I had.

What strikes me now:

The beginning about 'I can't tell you my name...' is soooooo cheesy... I forget how much I used to jump over it (unless it was Marco's. His were always fun).

My writing style has 2 characterizing attributes: I write from a main character's POV who usually speaks to the reader, and I systematically end my chapters with a statement that describes an action or a fact whose implications will be tackled next. Gee, where could I have ever learnt that?

Oh, so Rachel really does write quotes on Post-it notes and put them on an inspiration board. #canon accepted.

Second (and last?) trout morph.

Okay, so the shark battle is as bad as I remembered. And Applegate let in on heavy on 'forget about aliens and monsters, earth predators will be the death of us'. Note #1: rereading the series, no wonder I never understood all the fuss about Game of Thrones' Red Wedding. Dude, go read Animorphs as a 12-year-old and come back to talk about your 50-minute TV-induced trauma. Note #2: I have been low-key terrified of the ocean since I was a child. Never questioned it before. Starting to wonder if - maybe - the impact Animorphs had on me back then was more extensive than I ever realized. BEST BOOK CLUB EVER, guy

Okay, there is actually a whole plot to get them to reach Ax with 2 attempts, the seagull morph - I forgot it came from this book, the ship disaster - talk about 'on the fly plan'. My bad.

"I'm nobody's Prince." Buckle up, Big J., only 50 books left before you gain the title for real.

There's a mention about 3 alien races fighting the Yeerks; Andalites, of course, but I thought Anati and Leirans came into the fight later. Missed opportunity or history rewriting from Applegate here?

[olderthannetfic]

Having a crisis over my friends casually repeating anti talking points— like the anti-"smut in YA" arguments generally reminiscent of Alice Oseman's statements on the matter, as well as more serious things like believing anyone who ships or wrote (insert taboo topic - in several talking cases it was pedophilia) is a suspicious and untrustworthy person. And everyone around them seemed to just casually agree?? They're not hardcore antis or anything but they clearly believe this is just normal. (Bonus points for the guy who started unironically arguing that pedophiles - real life ones as opposed to people who ship age gap ships - are subhuman and deserve the death penalty. I had an aneurysm giving him a talk about human rights.)

People... when I said I used ao3, I didn't just mean I wrote funny things on there. I have read horrors beyond my comprehension and there are doubtless more of them awaiting my reading list. No amount of moralising disgust will have me agree with you that certain topics don't deserve to be written or read by certain demographics (but the children! - I can't believe they're also parroting right-wing talking points as a group of self-proclaimed progressives). I don't remember where I saw it, but I did manage to change one mind by quoting that post that said a librarian is not responsible for curating who borrows what book, such as not stopping a child from borrowing A Song of Ice and Fire.

I'm just in disbelief at the various debates I've had like this among real people. Half of them aren't even what you would call "internet-savvy", and I highly doubt they've been online in ways that makes them terminally online. It seems to have just leaked into the general consciousness in very concerning ways.

--

It leaks into the mainstream from fundies, not fandom.

[the-crepuscular-queen]

I don't have my GtN book to quote anything ( it's being borrowed) but I'm relistening to the audio book, and I can't stop thinking about how the second time "Dulcinea" talks to Gideon she sounds very similar to Mercymorn talking about the age gap of lyctors and regular humans (Phhaa! Babies! Yuck!). Just the way she says she feels old, she feels she has lived forever, how the 4th are babies compared to her. If I remember correctly, she refers to Gideon as a child, but in the context of knowing about Cytherea, my mind has gone crazy over the snippets where she talks to Gideon about how she describes how old she feels. Maybe the first time around reading or from Gideon's point, it was that deep feeling of sad words from a lady who was dying and every year of time draws on as she awaits death that makes her feel old. Really, it's just a Lyctor and their language to call non lyctor teenagers babies (?) and just feeling incredibly old as being lyctors compared to a regular human teen

I can't get over how I momentarily paused when I heard "dulcinea" call the 4th babies, and I'm just thinking how the Mercymorn is showing. How this interaction feels like foreshadowing now that I know what it all means to Cytherea more than the Dulcinea she pretended to be.

Or in reality, I'm looking WAY to deep into this (highly doubt for this book series), not lining up what I listened to properly, I potentially don't have the best memory to be writing this out, or this has probably already been mentioned by someone with more braincells than me before. And that's all dandy.

[itspikamefan]

More Quotes cause I'm tired and need to cope (Hopefully the last one, will also probably contain spoilers)

Hiroaki: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Hiroaki lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my designers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! Okazaki: What's the big deal about borrowing money? I do it all the time. I sometimes even pay it back. Kamimura: I'm not creepy... I'm petty. There's a difference you know? Hama: You look good in my jacket? Harada: You know where else I'd look good? Hama: ...My bed. Harada: By your s- Wait what? Hiroaki: What's your body count? Hayashi: Sex or murder? Hiroaki: Relationships should be 50/50. Ojima cooks us dinner while I sit on the counter looking pretty. Hasegawa, trying to flirt: Hey, I'm getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Kamimura: Why? You never taken a fucking shower before? Harada: Hama, what are your plans this evening? Hama: World domination. Harada: Bit ambitious isn't it? Hama: You are my world. Harada: Awwww! Hama: Harada: Hama: ... Harada: OH!

Hiroaki, talking to Hama: You sure Harada's Bi? They barely even looked at me. Chiba: Why is everyone obsessed with Top or Bottom? I'm just excited to be sharing a Bunk Bed! Hiroaki and Ojima: ... Hiroaki: I'm gonna tell her. Ojima: DON'T YOU DARE! Tsuno: Okazaki... I'm beginning to question your sanity. Kamimura: I never questioned it. I knew it was missing from the start. Hiroaki: Did you take Yanagi out? Hayashi: As requested. Hiroaki: You have my gra- Hayashi: Was a nice night. Romantic Candlelit Dinner. Hayashi: He proposed. We're filing the wedding papers. Watari: Well... Has Hiroaki been wrong before? Ojima: How wide are we willing to open this up?

Kamimura and Hasegawa: *Playing Videogames* Tsuno, tired: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning to play Videogames? Kamimura and Hasegawa: *Silence* Tsuno: ...You guys never went to sleep, did you? Hasegawa: Yeah... Kamimura: Piss off. Hama: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess. Chiba: What kind of Subway are you going to? Sasaki: Substitute Teachers deal with so much shit... Harada, red in the face: GUYS!!! Okazaki: I sleep with a gun under my Pillow. Kamimura: I sleep with a Knife. Harada: Both of you guys are pathetic. Okazaki: What do you sleep with, then? Harada: Sawa. Chiba, trying to be tough: I am darkness. I am a power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Hiroaki: A doll Hama: A cinnamon Roll Harada: A sweetheart... Chiba: ... Chiba: ...Stop it... Harada: Psh, that's ridiculous! No way Hama has a crush on me. Watari: Yes he does. Tamba: Yup, he does. Hama: Yeah, I do. Harada: This food is too hot, I can't eat it. Hama: You're very hot, and I still eat you. Dining Hall: DEAD SILENT Hiroaki: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!!! Ojima: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!!! Watari: Ugh... Okazaki. Harada: Remember when she threatened to get us all executed cause I wouldn't marry her? Hiroaki: She's always trying to trick me into giving her my house!!! Kamimura: Caught her stealing my fucking moisturizer one time. Isono: You bring Kamimura? Harada, gesturing to Sasaki: No, but I brought the next best thing! Isono: Sasaki? I thought the next best thing would be Hayashi. Sasaki: I would be offended, but Hayashi is freakishly strong. Hiroaki: Guys... I need to tell you something... Ojima and I are dating. Tamba: *Gasp* Watari: *Gasp* Tsuno: *Gasp* Ojima *Gasp* Hiroaki: ...Ojima, why are you surprised?! Tsuno: What makes you all smile? Harada: Friends and Family. Wada: Snacks Hiroaki: Victory and Success. Kamimura: Face muscles...

[backstage-autorin]

I can't stop thinking about the HTDIO scene where the characters read the blog post

Content note: the quotes from the blog post will have ableism in them, which is called out in the context of the show but may not be what people want to see on their tumblr feeds.

I've seen the show twice, once in early January and again at the closing performance, so I didn't pick up on everything (unfortunately I forgot what Tommy's line was and until my 2nd time seeing it I misremembered which character had a specific line.) The first time I saw it I felt the breath get sucked out of the room at the opening line that Dr. Amigo read; I didn't get quite the same feeling the 2nd time but I saw it but I feel like the closing show was more fans seeing it one last time/who had seen it already and had somewhat braced themselves for the scene. (That being said, the 2nd audience cheered more when Remy's livestream included the phrase "Nothing about us without us, while I heard less of a reaction from the audience my 1st time).

But one thing that stands out to me about that scene is how the lines are perfectly crafted to tie into the characters' storylines and hurt each character individually.

To break it down by character with the caveat that the quotes are gonna be incomplete paraphrases(in alphabetical order except for Drew because I remember his line being last in the scene):

Caroline: "most will never marry or have children" (a few scenes ago she was singing about hanging family pictures down the hallway with Jay) (when I first saw the show I thought this was Marideth's line, tying into her conversation with her dad about dressing like Santa for her hypothetical future children)

Jessica: "most may never be able to live on their own" (throughout the show she has been working on trying to move out of her mother's house by learning life skills like cooking and the fact that her crush on Tommy is partly due to her search for a boyfriend who can drive so she no longer has to use unreliable government transport)

Marideth: "the nightclub is full of loud noises that can cause meltdowns and tantrums" (Marideth's sensory issues are prominent throughout the show--her opening line is an opinion of the scent of soap, she hates zippers that touch her skin [at least that's my interpretation of hoodie zippers being ok when dress zippers are bad] and the loud sounds in the diner stress her out. However, we also see that she has strategies to deal with unpleasant sensory input, like noise-canceling headphones)

Mel: "kings and queens for one night" (erases their existence as a nonbinary person)

Drew: "when you think you can't do something, think of the young boy with autism asking a girl to dance" (not gonna lie I also saved this one for last because there's so much to unpack. Given the fact that Drew is a high school senior, "young boy" is pure infantilization. At the end of Act 1, we see him want to ask Marideth to the dance but end up asking her if she wants to borrow his book about Pangea instead. In the long run this works because the book helps Marideth process her feelings for Drew, but in the short run the article line looks like it was written to taunt Drew for chickening out at the last second. This line in the article also ties back into the beginning of the song under control, when Drew contemplates his life thus far and the pressure he feels to "be the poster child for if he can then you can")

I just feel like the way the lines are individually crafted to each character's storyline needs to be talked about. Also if anyone can remember what Tommy's line was (with or without a connection to his storyline) that would be appreciated.

[rook2ii]

wtf i just spent the last five hours making an entire fucking. essentially complete song. which i've never done before. i have not ever COMPLETED an original song. (i mean. it borrows a couple lyrics from some other songs in like. one part. but other than that it's all original.)

apparently my meds are way fucking stronger or something when i'm not at school because DAMN have i done a helluva lot over the last week.

(i uh. haven't worked on any school stuff yet... but still.)

here's the song if uh. anyone cares lmao.

warning tho ig that parts of the audio quality (especially vocals) might sound kinda shitty. but that was mostly on purpose lmao. there's not any sudden loud noises, but it might be a bit noisy in general?

idk, I really like how it turned out :3

lyrics (+ a bit of rambling) below the cut :> [[EYESTRAIN WARNING for the art I talk a little about there. Just different versions of the drawing I used as the cover]]

Cryptid mania hours~ Cryptid mania hours~ Cryptid mania hours~ Cryptid mania hours~!! Cryptid mania hours Got me feelin' like I got superpowers I wanna be fucking devoured Getting dressed up, my final hour Writing and writing and writing for days I got motivation flowin' through my veins I feel like a monster, I'm going insane!! Nah, it's not really that bad lol, I just... Got a little carried away I guess A million thoughts lapsed over each other There's so much that I wanna say, but You'll never hear all the thoughts in my brain I hide them, I hide them away! (Cryptid mania hours~) Lose, lose, lose my fucking mind Win, win, win until I die They're not like the other guys You can't tell from your disguise (Cryptid mania hours~) All my colors fill the scene My eyes are bleeding on the screen Fuck a path in the woods! I'm gonna write my own fucking destiny (Cryptid mania hours~) Ohhh~ Jump, jump, jump up high!! (Cryptid mania hours~!!) Ohhhhhhhhhh~~

Quotes lyrics from "LOSE, LOSE, LOSE" by kittydog and "Sun Spots" by ivycomb (+ a lil Slay the Princess reference lol)

Okay, so. I was thinking about how weird it was that it felt like my ADHD were being. a LOT more effective over the course of spring break than they were during school.

I've had a lot of spontaneous motivation, generally have had a more elevated mood, not being able to fall asleep, and having a lot more trouble remembering to eat to the point I would feel light-headed and almost not feel able to get up with how suddenly starving I felt.

I both felt more like myself than I had in at least a month and also like I was slowly turning into some sort of cryptid at the same time.

Which led to me drawing this piece:

Which then gave me the spontaneous idea to try to record a shitty song that encapsulated the feeling as well, remembering the time I saw kittydog improvise making an entire purposefully shitty song on stream one time (METAL PIPE CORE)

And so I made a little melody on BeepBox, then put it into BandLab, and then. Just started recording whatever lyrics I thought up basically on the spot with my laptop's shitty built-in mic. And then I finished it?????? And I actually really, really like it???

And while it encapsulates the feeling itself pretty well, the lyrics are just a little bit everywhere in terms of what they're actually talking about...

Some of it is just various thoughts and feelings were at the forefront of my mind, some random shit I came up with here and there, and, of course, quoting lyrics from some songs I sing to myself fucking over and over again.

Also, when I came up with the "All my colors fill the scene" lyric, I realized "Oh!! I should make a version of the drawing with 'my colors' (orange and purple) to use for the cover! :D"

so I did

Anyways. I'm so shocked that i just. made this. but i rlly like it. so.

Did I mention I made this entire thing basically running on fucking fumes?? Also that it's 3am where I live rn.

[savelockwoodandco]

Hi Admin, hope everything is fine with you, because I truly need your insight.

Whilst I understand that we must approach a battle with high spirits, the way the world goes and with it the media industry really saddens me.

Are we really gonna get the show back?

Do we think CF or the Strouds will really tell us to stop if they think all is over?

I might be far too cynical, but for the Strouds any publicity brings more people to the books.

As for CF, it's still free publicity.

I know that of course none of them will ever be straightforward with us - if anything is happening behind the scenes - because they can't, I guess, but where does the Clowning stop and become simply Delusion?

I keep looking at CF reply for their 5000 followers, and I get it, it looks sus. But are we building a castle made of thin sand out of it?

I'm sorry, Admin, I don't want to upset you. :(

I will still support the show campaign, but I'm so, so, so sad about everything...

Hi Anon! Thanks for the question, and no worries, you didn't upset us! We've got decades of experience in this media game (and in cancellations specifically), and we understand that it can be challenging and frustrating at the best of times.

We totally get being discouraged due to the state of the media industry. It's never been a particularly kind nor relaxed space, and everything about it seems to have been heightened within the last decade or so. What's good -- acknowledging the impact that actors have, the ability to tell stories that would have gone unseen in years past, feeding fan interaction through behind-the-scenes looks while filming and the newfound safety of transformative works (i.e., fanfic) -- has become really, really good. On the flip side, the bad parts of media -- encouraging division and in-fighting, poor treatment of non-administrative professionals, the blind-eye to any profit beyond exponential growth -- have gotten worse.

This isn't a doom-and-gloom statement, though -- these things come in cycles. The Hayes Code Mentality is coming back into full swing, but at least we're past the point of forcing actors to get married in order to promote their films. Some things improve, some things fall back, lather, rinse, repeat. We get being discouraged due to the media landscape -- but remember, all problems are temporary, and bad things will come and go just as often as good things. The good things, the progress, the encouraging changes are no less good simply because they're accompanied by uncertainty.

And if we had to pick a mission statement for answering this ask, I suppose that would be it. There are so many good and encouraging things that have happened -- watch this space, as I (tumblr mod) am going to have Twitter Mod, in all her beneficence, grab me some screenshots from Twitter to show off good/hopeful/encouraging things that have happened recently, since not everyone (including me!) is on Twitter -- that, while we may encounter doubts, disappointments, and uncertainty, it would be as foolish to throw everything out as it would be to assume that we're completely in the clear.

Recency bias, negativity bias, and plain ol' uncertainty have a way of reminding us that there's still doubt and uncertainty surrounding us in this campaign; at times, to borrow a quote, we can feel like we're braving a storm in a skiff made of paper. When a day, a week, two weeks, or more pass without Absolute Confirmation of being picked up, it's easy to lose confidence, to become discouraged, and to believe that nothing we do matters.

And yes, to just simply get sad. And that's okay, that's normal and understandable.

To answer the question posed at the beginning of this ask: yes, we still firmly believe that we're going to get our show back. So many good things -- Nice Things -- have happened and continue to happen (once again, watch this space for a screenshot-heavy post about those things!), that I think it would be wrongheaded to ignore them.

Yes, CF would tell us if there wasn't a chance. It's not really 'free publicity' to encourage people to support a campaign to save a show that they don't have a stake in.

And yes, they make Lockwood and Co; but without a second season, there's no opportunity to make more profit off of it -- sales off DVDs only apply when the show will be put on DVD, after all, which is increasingly uncommon for streaming-premiered shows. Positive word of mouth of "oh they made that really good show that netflix unfairly cancelled" -- a true statement -- only goes so far when negative word of mouth -- "they led fans on when they knew there wasn't a chance" -- is the trade-off.

CF isn't a huge company, they need that positive word of mouth to draw in viewers for current and future projects. On top of all of that, they're human. It's tempting to see every business, no matter the size, as a soul-sucking machine that wrings fans dry for profit, but that simply isn't true, especially of smaller outfits.

The same goes for the Strouds -- there was so much of a rush for the books when the show first came out; people had to wait weeks and weeks for more copies to be printed and sent out through Amazon/Barnes & Noble/other booksellers, and libraries had hold lines for months. That fervor only holds out so long, though, without something concrete -- another season -- to keep it up. In this age of 'receipts', Stroud isn't going to risk his reputation (and provide a lot of clean-up work for his agent) by stringing us alone without any hope.

Everyone involved in this, from the production studio to the author to us, the fans, has a vested interest in not just creating buzz but in actually making a S2 happen. Simply from a business standpoint, it's better business to supply an in-demand product than to not. Attention spans -- and business experts' opinions of attention spans, which is almost more important -- are famously short nowadays. Businesses cannot and do not plan on a small injection to produce long-lasting loyalty and results -- and when they do, like Netflix has been, it bites them in the rear repeatedly.

The sad, sorry fact is that they can't be open and transparent with us about renewal efforts, you're completely right about that. The legalities of contracts and deals within the media industry demand absolute silence until the ink is dry, and sometimes for a bit after that. To use a recent example, the showrunner for Warrior Nun tweeted in March that the show being saved would be because of fan efforts to make it happen. A full 3 months later, he was allowed to announce that the show had officially been picked up. The wheels of media move slowly, but they move.

When does clowning become delusion? The only situation where it would would be if CF came out and told us to stop and that there was no chance. Barring that, it doesn't become delusion. We like to toss around the term 'clowning' -- and it's a fun term that we, the mods, use regularly -- but all we're referring to is the process of distilling what we see into tangible data.

I don't mean to make it sound like some scientific process, but...isn't it? Isn't this all some grand experiment in the name of a grand hobby?

We plot, we plan, we infer, we record, and at the end of the day we turn all of that effort into tangible results. Those results -- trending every single day since cancellation, usually with multiple hashtags/phrases, numerous articles written about the show, its cancellation, and the efforts to save it, a petition with nearly 25k signatures, award nominations, you name it -- are very real, and very helpful.

While ultimately we can't sign the contracts or enact the business deals that will cement our pick-up -- trust us, if we could, they'd be signed by now -- we can provide strong reasons through our engagement for business to want us. The higher we raise demand, the more of a no-brainer providing supply -- a second season -- is.

To all of LockNation, we thank you for your continued efforts. Your tweets, posts, fanart, fanfic, hashtags, signatures, articles, and most importantly, your relentless cheerful dedication, mean the world. We heartily thank you and we heartily encourage you to take breaks, to take care of yourselves. We're confident that, in the future, we will be able to look down at our little skiff made of paper and find that it was made of sterner stuff than we thought.

We're confident in the continued future of Lockwood and Co. We can do this. Look to other successful campaigns; we may have months to go, but we can get through them and come out the victors on the other end.

[astro-rain]

delicate character quotes:

quotes from songs that align with characters from my bucky fic! (if u wanna read)

bucky:

“You look so pretty, pretty like the sun / I could watch forever while you shine on everyone”

“It's all in my head, it's all in my mind / I see the darkness where you see the light / It's all in my head, who do I trust? / I thought that you loved me, what is happening to us?

“Even in my worst times / You could see the best of me / Flashback to my mistakes / My rebounds, my earthquakes / Even in my worst lies / You saw the truth in me”

“And I woke up just in time / Now I wake up by your side / My one and only, my lifeline”

“Your kiss, my cheek / I watched you leave / Your smile, my ghost / I fell to my knees”

“I will follow you way down wherever you may go / I'll follow you way down to your deepest low”

“Everywhere I go leads me back to you”

“And if I'm not the one for you /You've gotta stop holding me the way you do”

female lead (reader):

“A curse or a miracle, hearse or an oracle / You're incomparable, fuck, it was chemical”

“It's all in my head, it's all in my mind / I'm so selfish, you're so kind / It's all in my head, baby, I can't breathe / I look in the mirror, what has happened to me?”

“I wanna be perfect like all your other friends / You look so pretty, pretty like the wind / Every time you touch me, I feel adrenaline”

“There was something 'bout you that now I can't remember / It's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender”

“And I fall, I fall for you / You caught me at my weakest”

“If you're not the one for me / Why do I hate the idea of being free?”

“Tossing, turning / Struggled through the night with someone new / Lantern, burning / Flickered in the night, only you / But you were still gone, gone, gone”

“Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow / Tarnished but so grand”

“My house of stone, your ivy grows / And now I'm covered in you”

“My mind is a place that I can't escape your ghost”

“I'm a wreck without you here / I'm a wreck since you've been gone / I've tried to put this all behind me / I think I was wrecked all along”

“I still love you, I promise / Nothin' happened in the way I wanted / Every corner of this house is haunted”

“Everything I know brings me back to us”

“Skies grew darker / Currents swept you out again / And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone”

quotes for the relationship:

“I felt it, you held it / Do you miss us, us / Wonder if you regret the secret / Of us”

“And when you're far away / I still feel it all / And when you're far away / I still feel it all the same”

“Everyone thinks that they know us / But they know nothing about / All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation / My hands are shaking from holding back from you”

“Wait and pretend / Hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end”

“How's one to know? / I'd live and die for moments that we stole / On begged and borrowed time”

“These hands had to let it go free, and / This love came back to me”

[magicalyaku]

Ok ok, let's get back on track. Work was draining these past weeks, but I'm on vacation now, so time to catch up! June was the month of the library books. I put a bunch on hold in April and May and they all came in at the same time. And after up to 10 weeks of waiting I was not about to push a single one back further, so I had to work a bit there. 8D Also, according to my list I've read 51 books in the first 6 months of the year. I seem to remember wanting to read less this year? Yeah. Not going well.

Gwen & Art are Not in Love (Lex Croucher): I read it in the very first days of June, which was basically an eternity ago, so my memory is a bit wonky. I do remember I had lots of fun! It was funny and sweet with a solid story and serious times when needed, nice characters, good adventure. The female lead did not get on my nerves! There was a cat! And a girl with a (legendary) sword! I think, though, it's a bit unfair that both boys ended up with permanent bodily harm while the girls got away scratchfree … Go read it!!

Thief in the Night (KJ Charles): I didn't know anything about this other than the summary when I put it on my waitlist in the library. After 10 weeks it finally came in and my first thought was "Is it broken?!" because it's only about 100 pages! It is a full story, mind you, I was just so suprised by it (and because I waited for so long!). It's a companion story to The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting, featuring the brother of the protagonists of that one. It's pretty cute. Super short, but just the right length for a simple story. We can have a simple story once in a while. I had a good time reading this.

The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting (KJ Charles): I borrowed this right after Thief in the Night. This is a full-length novel, so it has a lot more time to dive into characters and intricacies. It's nice. Like not groundbreaking, but very enjoyable. There's this thing about (pseudo-historic) British aristocracy that just calls for mocking them. I liked a lot how the climax and ending played out!

Flowerheart (Catherine Bakewell): Now this was another difficult book for me. I thought with time I'd get a little more chill with YA fantasy heroines. Seems I'm not there yet. The heroine here has these whiny self-pitying phases that really annoyed me. She's like "Oh maybe he never liked me in the first place" just because the guy didn't want her help at one thing. But: 1) He was her very close childhood friend, that was not a lie. 2) She has like one day of training in and can't control her magic, so her help would be … probably no help at all. And 3) when he told her before that he needs her on the weekends she said no, she can't … So why is she getting upset?! I hate characters like this. /D But thankfully, this is only half of the time, the other half she's pretty ok (the guy as well) and I actually found myself liking the book. The romance is acceptable and it does have some nice imagery going on with all the flower magic and stuff.

Sounds Fake But Okay (Sarah Costello & Kayla Kaszyca): My one non-fiction book of the year. :D It's about seeing the world from the perspectives of a_spec people. Like taking apart all that amatonormativity and all these ideas about romance and family and stuff that most of our world sees as right and normal. So it's not just a "let me tell you what aromanticism and asexuality are"-book but dives a bit deeper. I found it insightful. I think, both a_spec and allo people can take something away from reading this. Challenging our social constructs in thought at least can't hurt after all. Regarding the ebook library edition I read I didn't quite like the layout as the incorporated community quotes where not well marked and I stumbled over them a few times before realising it's another quote. That's probably no issue in the paper version though. I also struggled to tell the authors Sarah and Kayla apart. They introduce themselves and their stories in the beginning but I immediately jumbled them up ...

Captive Prince Trilogy (C.S. Pacat): I borrowed the English edition from the library … and didn't want to return it! Which is stupid because I own the German version in paper. But that kinda sums up how I feel about these books. Captive Prince was not the very first gay fantasy book I read almost two years ago but the first one I liked. (The actual first was Rowan & Ash by Christian Händel which had a terribly selfish love interest and shied away from all the important conflict. (And yeah, long before that I did read The Raven Cycle but I picked that one up for the Ley lines and the no-kiss-promise. The gay was just a pleasant surprise, so I don't count it.)) Which is funny, because especially the beginning is so filthy! I remember being quite put off by this the first time around, but apparently it was intriguing enough to continue reading. I like the incredible slow-burn of Damen's and Laurent's relationship. The slow building of trust in a surrounding where trust is so rare. How shit happens between them and they have to sort it out on page before progressing. How you only catch glimpes of Laurent's true self for a long time. I like it when authors feel smart through their writing and writing Laurent's and the Regent's intrigues and all the different settings with war strategies etc. sure does feel smart to me. I like the slow-burn in stories as well when things start at some point and only get important much later and all weaves together beautifully. It's so rewarding. Look, where we started - look, how far we've come! Hah. u3u

Riley Weaver Needs a Date for the Gaybutante Society (Jason June): For the end of the month I went for something light and funny. Of all the authors I read last year F.T. Lukens and Jason June stuck with me the most. Lukens for the cozy charming fantasy and June for the slightly silly noisy onea. Riley Weaver is no exception to that. It does have a serious undertone and message, though, but due to the framework of the story it manages to never feel dull or preachy.

I also tried to read Dragonfall by L.R. Lam, but gave up after just 50 pages. I can't even say if it's good or bad, because I don't know. I couldn't stand the viewpoints. Like, there's three people. The first one is a 1st person narrator, who refers to the second person as You, but in the narration, not dialogue! That put me off so much. It was so … icky! The second person narrates 1st person as well. If there's another "you" I don't know because I didn't make it to the point where they meet for real. And then the third person comes along and … it's 3rd person?! And I screamed! God, I hate that. I mean, it can work and I have read books that I like with inconsistent viewpoints but there was nothing here for which I was willing to endure. To be fair, I don't like dragons in the first place, so maybe we never were a good match from the start. :'D

That's it for June!

[ghostmemesource]

👻୧‿︵‿︵ rupaul's drag race sentence starters

these are quotes taken from seasons 11-15 of rupaul's drag race. send in one of the prompts below for my muse’s response. please change pronouns where you see fit. remember to specify muse if you're sending it to a multi muse.

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 15 Quotes ❝ Bad bitchery is as bad bitchery does. ❞

❝ Ain't no rest for this bitchface. ❞

❝ All that's left for to win is the crown. ❞

❝ Shady, hairy, and a thief. ❞

❝ I'm happy for you because I feel like you're finally entering your bitch era. ❞

❝ It's the grunting for me. ❞

❝ Oh, you gonna show your disco stick? ❞

❝ Feel how you feel, baby. Let it out! ❞

❝ This is gonna be fun! Should I sabotage somebody? Should I?! ❞

❝ I said what I said! ❞

❝ It's a new day of me being crazy. ❞

❝ I live for the couple's therapy right now. ❞

❝ Rest in peace to my hairline. ❞

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 14 Quotes ❝ You not gonna slap me, are you? ❞

❝ The last time someone handed me a key, it had white powder on the end of it. ❞

❝ It's chocolate. ❞

❝ I gave you a call, and guess who didn't fucking answer? You! ❞

❝ I need a diaper. ❞

❝ It's okay to be wrong sometimes. ❞

❝ I think I've established that compromise is for losers. ❞

❝ This is like the most hellish ASMR you've heard of. ❞

❝ She enjoys long walks on the freeway and coffee enemas. ❞

❝ I need to fucking retire, is what I need to do. ❞

❝ Emote! Through your face, not your ass. ❞

❝ Any hole is a goal. ❞

❝ Can you bend those legs behind your head? ❞

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 13 Quotes ❝ Well, you’re gonna discover I can rap! ❞

❝ As much as I love these bitches, athletes don’t go to the Olympics to make friendship bracelets. I’m ready to take these bitches down. Love them so much. ❞

❝ If you glue your lips, doesn’t it look like I’m a Jenner now? ❞

❝ When you put beautiful men in front of me, everything goes out the window. ❞

❝ A few weeks ago, I was “winner, winner, chicken dinner!” and now I am Lunchables. ❞

❝ When I look at you, I think of tap water! ❞

❝ If I ain’t gonna win a crown, I’mma win a man! ❞

❝ Ah-choo! She's sickening! ❞

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 12 Quotes ❝ That’s the thing on the TikTok that the kids do. ❞

❝ Do you have a condom I can borrow? I know you’re always safe. ❞

❝ You’re the prettiest girl on the planet … of the apes. ❞

❝ The truth is, when people are super vulnerable, we fall in love with them. That’s the hard point is being willing to be honest. ❞

❝ Thank you! Burn in hell! Go fuck yourself! ❞

❝ Here they come. Just act natural, act natural. ❞

❝ How do you feel about glitter? ❞

❝ I love glitter! ❞

❝ Look over there! ❞

❝ I fall for it every time. ❞

❝ You look like a Barbie out of the box. ❞

❝ I hope you can hear all that air I exclaimed from my body. ❞

❝ Well, that was a long flight. ❞

❝ Are you ready to live a little, sin a lot? ❞

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 11 Quotes ❝ When you feel your own oats so hard you forget there are other oats there. ❞

❝ Spooky Dooky. ❞

❝ I WAS READY! ❞

❝ Meh. ❞

❝ I'm currently oozing. ❞

❝ Twerking is a blessing baby. ❞

❝ You got to pick a struggle. You can't struggle at everything, bitch! ❞

❝ You 80s-looking porn star. ❞

❝ An ugly girl can never come for a pretty girl. ❞

❝ Hoe, you must go. ❞

❝ Bitch, I'm back! ❞

[spookiesmausoleum]

❛ 𝐈 𝐀𝐦 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 ❜

Sentence starters from quotes from the movie in question! Remember to specify for multi-muse blogs and change pronouns as needed.

"I have heard myself say that a house with a death in it can never again be bought or sold by the living. It can only be borrowed from the ghosts that have stayed behind."

"The memories of their own deaths are faces on the wrong side of wet windows, smeared by rain. Impossible to properly see."

"For those who have stayed, their prison is their never seeing. And left all alone, this is how they rot."

"Of her books, I have read fewer than nine pages of only a single one...and all the while suppressing a very bad taste. I am not even sure of the title."

"I can be sure of only a very few things. The pretty thing you are looking at is me. Of this I am sure."

"It has always been that wearing white reassures the sick that I can never be touched, even as darkness folds in on them from every side, closing like a claw."

"You had so much to say in those first years. When you lived here with me. Enough to fill a book. And then... nothing."

"You turned your back. You turned your back, and you turned your back so many times... that soon your feet were facing the wrong way altogether."

"I did nothing but sit and listen. I made no noises. I welcomed no visitors. And here, now, you've come back. But only to hurt me, only to show yourself, but not to let me see."

"You poor, pretty things whose prettiness holds only one guarantee. Learn to see yourself as the rest of the world does, and you'll keep. But left alone, with only your own eyes looking back at you, and even the prettiest things rot. You fall apart like flowers."

"Couldn't sleep. The first night in a place always weirds me out, you know."

"Why would you say that to me right now, in the middle of the night when I'm here all alone?"

"I can't imagine what I'd say if he did. I mean, what does a person say? "Remember that time we almost but then didn't get married? 'Cause I do.""

"On my very first night in the house. A death. But I cannot see it. Not yet. But I can feel it shifting its weight from bare foot to bare foot."

"So that's where you're hiding. They told me there wasn't one of you, and I don't mind telling you, I was a little worried."

"Because time spent in a house with a death in it passes more quickly, you know. Eleven months. Passing like the night."

"This is how you rot."

"It was fine when I first moved in, but now I think it's gotten much worse in the past few weeks."

"Possibly a mold of some kind. Likely there is some plumbing behind the wall, a pipe that runs up to the bathroom."

"You say you haven't seen it anywhere else?"

"It's just that a confusion like that is usually with the memory of someone significant."

"Heavens to Betsy, no, I haven't. No, um, I scare too easily."

"Well, there is a not-very-good movie, if you prefer."

"That would be much, much worse. I'd likely run down to the road screaming. And who'd look after [name]?"

"The pretty thing you are looking at now is me."

"I left the world just as I came into it. I am wearing nothing but blood."

"I am as white as a sail. I tell this often to myself. I tell myself that nothing gets on me. But it does me little good. The words pour right through. I am too full of holes."

"Grow up, you dumb old scaredy-cat. It's just a bunch of silly ol' make-believe typed words on paper."

"And even if I was fiendishly tempted, I have refrained from pressing the subject with her."

"Though it seems safe to assume that, as endings go, [Name]'s was not an especially pretty one."

"Quite dead but not quite buried. Carelessly concealed in a grave too shallow to be rightly called a grave at all. Better to call it a... hiding place."

"The walls and windows are as thin as bones. A person could walk right through them. Just up and leave this old house."

"I haven't really looked. I... I kind of hate the sight of it."

"I can sometimes see her struggle with the shape of it, more as if trying to remember a song she once heard, and not as she might remember an event."

"How does one forget something as essential as that? How does one forget a death?"

"Maybe it is the body that remembers. And without the body, there is nothing to hold to."

"We make our own ghosts by looking, but pretending not to see...and then forgetting ourselves altogether."

"It is a terrible thing to look at oneself and to all the while see nothing. Surely this is how we make our own ghosts. We make them out of ourselves."

[litrumi]

(Main Story FINALE Spoilers) "A Drop of Light in the Night"

*(Note: These are VAGUE, ambiguous spoilers for my fanfic. But I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I absolutely just needed to write this down. Even if they might not be part of the final product, which is an EON from now. Only time will tell.)*

Any of these tracks fit: Machine in the Wall (Mausoleum) or Innocence Mangled (Depths)

Italics = Inner thoughts "Quotes" = Talking aloud

Enjoy!

--

Even though we walk on and on, it almost feels like no progress is being made whatsoever.

I just can't shake the feeling we're in another one of those instances...

But the pup behind me doesn't seem all that worried.

"You're not even a little scared?" I ask as we keep going down the dark, cramped, and rocky path.

I hear a small chuckle from him. "We've gone through how many whacky and dangerous adventures now?" He replies. "Besides, we've known about this place for almost a year by this point. I'm surprised this is the first time we're exploring it."

"Only because that research-obsessed elephant wants to know what's down here..." I sigh. "Why didn't he tag along?"

"You could've asked that same question about literally every other time," the dog tells me with a sheepish grin. "Does this place really make you that anxious? It's not nearly as crazy as everything else. And we haven't even heard about a single thing happening around here until now."

"I just have a very intense sort of bad feeling about this place..." I admit, focusing on keeping Dogday's hand held in my own as we venture further, with me taking the lead.

And even though I look at these cave walls, no matter how they all look the same and formed as one would expect the innards of a rocky formation to be, some of these spots give off a familiarity to them.

"Well, when we get back, maybe we can just tell Bubba that we don't wanna go exploring anymore," Dogday suggests. "We'll make this our last expedition, if you want," He smiles at me. Then he looks at a pocket watch he holds in his hand. He examines it, and tilts his head when he notices something funny. "That's weird..."

"Hm?" I sound out, stopping us in our tracks and turning myself to look at him. "What've you got there, Pup?"

"Oh, didn't you hear that last part of the page he found?" He asks me directly.

I muse on the thought. "All I remember was him saying that the page hinted at 'letting reality guide us to our destiny' or something like that," I explain.

"Well, he also said something about wanting to know how long we've been in here once we got started, so I borrowed this from him before we left," he looks back at the watch, shaking it a bit. "But maybe this thing is just broken... I swear it's gotta have been at least thirty minutes by now."

"Let me see," I say, as he then gives the pocket watch over to me. Holding it in my other free hand, I look at it closely.

The canine rubs the back of his head with his other hand. "It's at the same time from when I checked, you know, as soon as we started walking around," he says.

But even as I look at the watch, I notice that not a single hand is moving. Not even the hand representing "seconds passing."

Then, my eyes widen.

Oh no...

Frantically, I look around us.

"Huh? What is it?" Dogday curiously asks.

With so many sudden and worrying thoughts running through my head...

This just can't be. This doesn't make any sense.

I don't see anything or anyone out of the ordinary, but I tense up because the atmosphere now feels so much more sinister than before.

I don't like this.

I really don't like any of this...

"Catnap, what's wrong?" He wants to know what I'm thinking.

It is another one of those times...

Where time means nothing.

"Dogday," I look at him instantly.

"W- What is it, Kitty?" He looks at me with a little concern.

"No matter what," I begin, my body shaking a little. "Stay close to me and don't let go of my hand. Never let go," I plead.

"Huh?" His eyes widen a little.

"And please, please promise me," I gulp, feeling a lump in my throat. "Promise me... that you'll watch your back."

"What?" He seems unsure yet saddened. His own brain is trying to comprehend my fluctuation in emotions. "Don't you mean 'our' backs?"

I shake my head vigorously. "No," I tell him. "No matter what, please, watch YOUR back."

He doesn't understand. He seems more perplexed and worried than anything else. We stand in silence as he tries to process my request.

But I mean exactly what I said.

And even though he would usually try to lighten the mood and calm the tension, I could tell he knew exactly what I was feeling. He could sense just how deathly terrified and serious I was.

"..." He blinks, looking at the ground only for a moment before letting our eyes meet again. "...G- Got it..." He nods.

I grip his hand even tighter in my own. "...Good," I nod in return, believing he understands the situation better.

Without another word, we press on. But now everything just feels heavier. And it's a mess we no longer can just leave behind so easily.

Please... I'm begging whoever's out there... If there's really anyone at all...

I hope and pray, marching on into the darkness with the one I care about most.

...Just let us get out of this, together, in one piece.

That's all I ask.

--

Anything's subject to change when I get to this point in the story. Just thought I'd leave that out there. I definitely wanna give this portion the vibe of "This is it, it's almost the end... There's just one last thing to do."

And all that. Yup! That's it! Take care~