#<-- sorry for the weird tags but i want to make sure this is accessible to ppl who would benefit most

[fltwoodsmonster]

hey hold on a sec

I just realized both op and the commenter are insane trad christains so im deleting my reblog (because im not platforming their shit -- this is ALSO why im censoring their URLs I’m not going to give them traffic) and instead reposing it with the following links/information:

1) The WHO still actively hosts a guide on how to create safe milk substitutes when access to breastmilk/milk substitutes are unavailable on the Institutional Repository for Information Sharing (iris). The guide is called “Infant Feeding in Emergencies: A Guide for Mothers”. Relevant information starts on page 38.

2) Here is a link to the archived guide WITH THE CAUTION that I was not able to find out why its no longer provided by the WHO or iris. It could be that the information is out of date. I am only sharing it because I think the visuals may be helpful for people who have trouble reading written directions. Consult the above link first, then refer to this guide only if you need clarification on how to perform certain actions. Link to archive.

3) The language in that second comment throws up so may red flags. I cropped it to only the information needed to understand the context of this post because I find it immensely suspect. The repeated allusions to 2020 for no apparent reason (but I can guess why, as an infection disease scientist) come across as loaded or dog-whistely. I would advise against sharing the OP for that reason. But because the information being provided is important and not well known, I’m making this alternative post for people to reblog. 

4) The implication that the WHO is censoring information based on a 404 page is a really flimsy and extreme conclusion to jump to. The “Infant Feeding in Emergencies” guide I linked above also goes to a 404 page on the WHO’s main website - but again, can be accessed through iris instead. So no, the information on how to feed infants in a food crisis is not being censored by the WHO.

5) A more likely cause for the guide disappearing is that the link broke and they didn’t fix it. If you look at the original URL it indicates the guide was posted in a subcategory on the WHO’s website about International Crises, specifically in the Middle East. If you try to type in a shortened versions of that URL (specifically https://www.who.int/hac/crises/ or the slightly modified http://www.who.int/hac/crises/en/) you’ll see that the subdomain that was present with relevant info breaks around 2020. In fact, while testing this hypothesis, I came across this information page in a November 2021 version of the URL https://www.who.int/home/cms-decommissioning (which I was redirected to automatically from http://www.who.int/hac/crises/en/):

There is no nefarious conspiracy theory. The link simply broke - as many many many many links do on the internet. The second commenters reply is proven bunk by a little bit of fact checking.

sorry for the long post, but I think the information on infant nutrition substitutes is genuinely useful, lifesaving info -- but i’m not going to give more people with dangerous ideological views spouting nonsense a platform.

update (5/20/22):

I had hope this was a given, but I want to be explicitly clear.

Using an at-home formula substitute should be a last resort. Contact your infant’s physician or a pediatrician before attempting to make your own milk substitute.

I am also going to leave a link to the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine’s statement on breast milk substitute shortages.

Do not blindly follow internet posts in regards to the health of yourself or your children. I wanted to share this post simply because I, myself, did not even know it was possible to make milk substitutes and thought it was useful to be aware of in an time when access to substitutes is unprecedentedly difficult.

[aphsillyos]

silly lil designs for pf ez and aphelios blending into piltover :]

[therealcocoshady]

Ok sorry for blowing up your asks, but I have one that might be right up your angsty alley…

Marshall is having a particularly hard time on one of the anniversaries of Proof’s passing…🕊️ He’s super vulnerable with reader and she has to comfort him 😔🥺

DIFFICULT 🕊️

Eminem x Assistant Reader

Synopsis : Em is nowhere to be found as you're waiting for him for an important meeting. Turns out... It's the anniversary of Proof's passing and he needs you.

Tags : Vulnerability - Grief - Angst - Comfort

Author's Note : Thank you for this Ask ! I low-key love that you thought of me when it comes to angsty requests 👀. I got inspired and ended up writing quite a bit but I'm afraid it's all over the place. I hope you like it nonetheless. ❤️

Do you know where he is ? Paul asked, visibly unnerved. He should already be here ! 

He’s coming, you assured the manager. I reminded him of this meeting on Friday, don’t worry, he’s going to show up. 

It’s your job to make sure he shows up on time, Y/N, Paul added sternly. That’s what personal assistants are for. 

He’s never late, you said. I’m sure there’s a good reason. Something must have come up… 

It was unlike Marshall to show up late to a work meeting, especially when it involved music. In the past year, since you had started working for him, he had never shown up late anywhere. If anything, he was a bit neurotic about punctuality. « Early is on time, on time is late » he always said. And when it came to anything regarding his latest album, he tended to show up extremely early, polishing details up until the last minute. Except that, today, he was almost thirty minutes late and you were facing Paul and Dre on your own, and there was only so much small talk you could make. 

Look, if the album’s not ready for me to listen to yet, you guys just have to say so, Dre said. 

No, it is, Paul assured him. I mean, you know Marshall, he’s always trying to polish and tweak little things, but we have a version that’s more than ready for you. We wouldn’t have you come from LA otherwise… 

I’ll try an call him, you said. 

You got up and went to your office. You were starting to be a little freaked out. You didn’t want to be dramatic, but you were starting to feel scared that something terrible had happened. One time, he got into a car crash and was not even that late. Thirty minutes late for Marshall was basically four hours late for anyone else. You got out of the room and tried to call him, but he didn’t pick up. Had he lost his phone ? You knew he hated the iPhone you had convinced him to buy - to replace his more than ancient Blackberry - and he used it as little as possible, but him losing anything was unlikely. And he knew about this meeting. You had specifically reminded him of it. He wouldn’t show up late to a meeting with Dre. He had way too much respect for the man. You nervously checked his iCloud calendar, thinking that maybe he was confused about the time. Unlikely but not impossible either. You remembered adding the event « Meeting with Dre - ALBUM VERSION 1 » for this Monday, 9:00 AM a while ago. But it was nowhere to be found. Had it been accidentally deleted ? Had you dropped the ball ? No. Impossible. Not to toot your own horn, but you wouldn’t screw up like that. It was probably a bug. You checked the week’s other events. Deleted too. You knew he had other meetings and studio sessions planned, but they did not appear on the calendar. Weird. Especially since last week’s event were still appearing, and the following week’s too. It looked like someone had cleared this week’s schedule and you knew it wasn’t you. It had to be Marshall, then, since he was the only other person to have access to his calendar. You were worried. He would not clear a whole week’s schedule, especially not when he was nearly done with his album. Something had to have happened. Something awful, by the looks of it. Your mind immediately went to his family. They were the only people he would clear his schedule for. You decided to call Hailie, hoping that nothing awful had happened to her or her sisters. 

Hey Y/N, you heard her soft voice say as she picked up the phone. How are you ? 

Hey Hailie, you said nervously. Are you alright ? 

All good, she said. Why ? Are you ok ? Is there anything wrong ? 

Um… I don’t know, you said. I'm trying to reach your Dad. Have you heard of him ? 

Not since Thursday, I think. He told me he was spending the weekend with you. What’s wrong ? 

He’s just a little late to a meeting, you said as you tried to sound casual. I was worried that something had happened to you, your sisters, Nate… 

No, we’re all good, she said reassuringly. Look, I’m in Chicago, but I can try and call him… 

Don’t worry about it, you said. Enjoy Chicago.

Thank you ! See you ! 

Hailie didn’t seem too worried, so there was at least that. However, you were a little bugged off. You absolutely had not spent the weekend with Marshall and, frankly, you were a bit shocked that he had lied to his daughter about it. Not that you never spent the weekend together - in the past six months, it had happened quite a bit - but he was not the type to lie to his daughter. It was odd that he would use you as a lie, especially since your relationship - if you could call it that - was still in the developing stage. As far as Hailie was concerned, you were the closest thing her Dad had to a girlfriend but, in actuality, it was a bit more complicated. It wasn’t necessarily serious or committed, and there most certainly wasn’t any label on it. You were his personal assistant, whom he occasionally fooled around with. The only reason Hailie saw you as his girlfriend was that she had walked in on the two of you making out with very, very few clothes on. Thank God, she was an adult and didn’t really want to know anything about it. No one ever mentioned the incident but she assumed there was something between you and Marshall. And there was. In a way. But he wasn’t really the kind of guy to put a label on it and you knew it. He was extremely guarded and, even though you knew you were one of the people closest to him, you didn’t expect much. He was a really great boss, amazing man and more than satisfactory lover, but you knew him enough to know it would never evolve into anything serious. « I don’t do relationships, you know » he had once told you. And you didn’t mind. You enjoyed things just the way they were. The way you saw it, the sex you sometimes had - usually on work trips or late nights - was a perk to your job, along with the generous salary and health benefits. But regardless of all that, him lying about spending the weekend with you was extremely odd. You tried calling him again, but were sent straight to voicemail. You sheepishly went back to the conference room. 

Did you talk to him ? Paul asked. 

No news, you said. That’s odd. I’ll go to his place and if he’s not there, I’ll try the hospitals. I’m sorry. 

I hope he’s ok, Dre said. Keep us posted ? 

Of course. 

You made your way to your car and drove to his place. Security knew your car and plates and saw you often enough to let you through the gates. You parked in front of Marshall’s house and immediately noticed that the car he used the most was parked out front. He was home. Thank God, you didn’t have to worry about a car crash. You rang the bell but no one came to open it. Maybe he had slipped in the shower and injured his head ? Or fallen down the stairs ? No. You often joked about him being older but he wasn’t geriatric either. Still, you were worried so you used your spare key and let yourself in. 

The house was unusually dark and messy. You checked downstairs, the living room, kitchen, office… It was messy, like someone had rummaged through things, but Marshall was nowhere to be found. You tried every room upstairs, every closet, every bedroom, but he wasn’t there either. You decided to try the only remaining space you hadn’t checked : the basement (you doubted he was in the garage - he liked his cars but not enough to cancel a meeting about music). That’s where you found him : in one of the dimly lit rooms he had converted into a home music studio, laying on the carpet, eyes closed, headphones on his head. You gasped and almost thought he was dead. You immediately rushed to his side and checked his breath. As soon as you approached, he slowly opened his eyes and groaned. 

Marshall, are you alright ? You asked. Are you hurt ? 

No, he said in a raspy voice before sitting up. 

You examined his face : he looked like a zombie, or at least like someone who had forgotten what sleep and food were. And judging by the smell, he had also forgotten about showers. You usually enjoyed his masculine scent but now he was smelling as rank as a teenage boy addicted to video games. 

What are you doing here ? He asked. 

I came to check you weren’t dead, you said. You missed the meeting with Dre. Paul is furious. 

Wait… What day is it ? He asked in confusion. 

Monday, you said. April 12th. 

Fuck. 

He rubbed his eyes and scratched his beard, and you inspected him closer. His eyes were bloodshot, with huge dark circles. The beard he usually kept well-trimmed was all over the place, so was his short hair, and his breath smelled of energy drink. He had always had a penchant for soda and Redbull, but it usually wasn’t to the point of smelling like a candy factory. Well, if you added the smell of sweat, it was more like someone who ran a marathon in the Redbull factory. Marshall looked at you without saying a word. 

Are you alright ? You asked. 

Does it look like I’m alright ? He groaned. 

Not really, you admitted - not really knowing what to say. 

Why are you ask, then ?

If you hadn’t been so worried, you would have snapped at him for behaving like an ass, but it wasn’t him. You sighed and looked at the CDs he’d been listening to : « Searching for Jerry Garcia » and « I Miss the Hip Hop Shop » by Proof. That’s when it hit you : today was April 12th and April 11th was the anniversary of his best friend’s passing. The both of you were sitting on the carpet, not saying a word. He knew that you knew. 

Do you… Um… Want to talk about it ? You asked tentatively. 

I need a shower, he said. 

Yes he did. He definitely did. You got up and waited for him to do the same but he simply groaned as he tried to move. You gave him your hand and helped him up as he let out a moan and held his back. You wondered how long he’d been laying there, listening to music and losing track of time. He seemed to have trouble even standing up. « God, he must be exhausted », you thought. 

Need help ? You asked. 

Y-Yeah, he said. 

Shower ? 

Yeah. 

Without a word, you helped him to the nearest bathroom where he started undressing without even waiting for you to leave. You could feel your cheeks burn. You’d seen him naked before, sure, but this different than the two of you shedding your clothes in a passionate moment. Now, you had the feeling of seeing something you weren’t supposed to. It felt a bit weird. You watched him step in the shower and went upstairs, to his closet, to pick some clothes for him to wear. You grabbed boxers, some sweatpants, a wife beater and a hoodie and put them in the bathroom, near the sink before opening the windows to let in some light and fresh air, as you tidied up a bit. You’d spent some time in his house before but you had never seen the place this messy. 

Thanks for the clothes, Marshall said as he emerged from the bathroom. 

Feeling better ? You asked. 

Yeah.

When was the last time you showered ? You asked. 

I don’t know, he shrugged. 

Last time you ate ? 

Fri…Sat… I don’t know, he replied. 

He seemed gaunt and, even if the shower seemed to have done some good, Marshall seemed like a corpse. He was standing there, staring at you, not extremely responsive. You had never seen him like this and it was definitely a far cry from his usual self. Ever since you had met him for the first time, you had found him to have an impressive presence. Whenever he walked into a room, he naturally drew attention to him and he had such charisma that he seemed bigger than he actually was. But for the first time, he looked weak and lost. 

Are you hungry ? You asked. 

A bit, he replied. 

Sit, you said. I’ll prepare something. What do you want ? Pasta ? 

Whatever, he said. 

He sat on the couch and you made your way to the kitchen. Being the one responsible for his shopping, you knew the pantry like the back of your hand and knew exactly what was in there. You decided to make some homemade spaghetti, using Mom’s Spaghetti sauce with homemade garlic toasts. His lazy comfort food. When you brought his plate to the living room, he was manspreading, looking at the ceiling. 

Thanks, he said as you handed him the food. Chips would have been enough, you know ? 

You need to eat a real meal, you simply said. 

He nodded and started to eat. You noticed he was avoiding your gaze. He usually didn’t have much trouble maintaining eye contact, except for when he was ashamed, or sad, or tired. In this case, you knew it was probably a mixture of everything. There was no doubt as to his exhaustion and sadness, and you knew he would feel ashamed for missing an important work meeting. You looked at him and left the room to go and call Paul. 

So ? He asked. How is he ? 

He’s… sick, you lied, knowing full well Marshall wouldn’t want you telling people how you had found him. 

Sick ? The managed asked. What does he have ? 

The flu, you said. It’s pretty nasty. I cleared up his schedule for the week. He needs rest. He’s really sorry about the meeting. 

Alright. I’ll call him later, he said. Dre has to leave today, we’ll have to set up another meeting. 

I’ll let him know. 

You also texted Hailie to let her know you had managed to get ahold of her Dad. When you got back to Marshall, he was looking at a picture frame of him and Proof. From the looks of it, you guessed it was from 2005-2006. You sat next to him in silence. 

The flu ? He asked in a raspy voice. 

Couldn’t come up with anything better on the spot, you said. At least, it buys you the rest of the week so you can rest. 

No need, he said. I can… I can work. 

Bullshit, you sighed. 

He stared in your eyes for the first time all day and sighed. His eyes went back to the picture frame and you could see hum swallow dryly. 

Went was this taken ? You asked. 

March 2006, he said in a breaking voice. It’s the last picture of him I have… 

His breath was shaky and you could tell he was on the verge if tears. You placed a hand over his and gently stroked his skin. 

It’s ok to cry, you know ? You said softly. 

You weren’t too sure why you said that. Of course it was ok to cry. A man in his fifties, especially your boss, did not need your permission to cry. Or so you thought. Because as soon as the words left your lips, the tears started to flow and he started sobbing. You put a hand on his back and tried to soothe him while you saw his face redden and scrunch up, his tears wetting his face. It was painful seeing him like this and you wished there was something you could do. If that were possible, you would gladly take his pain and make it yours. 

Fu-fuck, I-I’m sorry, he said after a while. 

You have nothing to apologize for, you said gently. It’s ok. He was your best friend. It’s ok to be sad. 

I-I fucked up…

It’s just a work meeting, you reminded him. We’ll set up another meeting with Dre, I’ll move a couple of appointments, it’s fine. 

No, not… I-I…

He was trying to speak but he wasn’t making much sense. He was stuttering, his voice cracking, changing pitch… You put your arms around him, half-expecting him to push you away but he didn’t. You kept running a hand up and down his back to soothe him a bit and it seemed effective. 

Thank you, Y/N, he said. 

Were you like this all weekend ? You asked. 

Yeah… 

Is that why you told Hailie I was spending the weekend with you ? 

I… Yeah, he said sheepishly. I didn’t want the kids to see me like this. 

I see, you said. So… what ? You listened to his music, looked at pictures and lost track of time ? 

I guess, he shrugged. I… I tried to go to his grave yesterday but it was packed. 

I guess a lot of people miss him, you said. 

No, it was… I saw them and they were wearing… My tee-shirts. My merch. They were my fans. On his grave. And it drove me fucking mad. Because I couldn’t even get out of my car, and I had to see these people pay respect but they were fans. They didn’t know him. And I saw the posts on social media. And people keep on making it about me. 

His voice broke again. You had often had conversations with him about fame and how he was dealing with it. Most of the time, he was grateful for it, though he often gave the impression that he didn’t really get why he was famous and how people could look up to him so much. « It’s just me », he often said. Deep down, he only saw himself as a guy trying to make it in hip-hop, trying to be the best emcee. Fame was never really part of his plan, though he was grateful for the success and love of people granted him. But the way he was speaking, it seemed like less of a blessing and more of a curse. He explained to you that he felt guilty for people making Proof’s death about him. Sure, he was his best friend, but he was so much more, and he just wished people would respect his legacy and everything he meant to the hip-hop culture. He also felt guilty when he thought about Proof’s family, who didn’t only have to deal with a tragic loss but also his own fame, and always being asked questions about him. 

His wife… She always hated me, you know ? He said. She hated all of us. Proof was never home, always either getting in trouble with us or trying to keep us out of it. Now we don’t speak too much and… I mean, I get it, I was his friend, not hers, but… I don’t know. I was supposed to be an uncle to his kids, you know ? I’m supposed to be there for them, not make things difficult. I’m supposed to be the one sending flowers, not receiving them in their place. 

Do you keep in touch ? You asked. 

I try, he said. I mean, if the kids need something, they know they can call. Sharonda too. She never would, she’s too proud but… Yeah, I just wish I could do more, you know ? 

I know, you said. You shouldn’t feel guilty… 

No, I should, he shrugged. When he died, I was a massive asshole about it… I mean, I guess I made it a lot about me. But now it makes me so mad. And sad. And I miss him so much and I just wish I could apologize to him. 

For what ? You asked as you stroked his hand. 

Everything, he shrugged. For being ungrateful and not seeing everything he did to hold down the fort. Proof… He was strong when I was weak. And I never got to tell him how thankful I am. If it weren’t for him, I’d still be making burgers. 

I’m sure he knew how much you loved him, you said softly. 

I hope, he said. He was everything to me… Like… We didn’t love each other like that, you know. Like, no homo or whatever. But sometimes I think he was the love of my life. In a platonic way. Like, he was my other half, the one who made me a better person. And now that he’s gone… I’m just me. And it’s hard. 

You’re still pretty great, you said. And I know he would be proud of you. 

I… I don’t know, he said. 

He seemed lost in his thoughts. You realized you had been stroking his back the whole time and stopped. He turned to you with his eyebrows furrowed and he didn’t even have to ask for you to resume. It was the first time the two of you had such a prolonged physical contact without it being sexual and you wondered if he noticed, too. He closed his eyes and you looked at him some more. He was clearly exhausted and you weren’t too sure how long he would need to sleep. Probably a long time. 

You should go to bed, you said softly. 

I guess, he shrugged. 

You need rest, you insisted. I’ll do the dishes and go home, ok ? You can call me if you need anything. 

Can you stay ? He asked nervously. I… I don’t feel like being… alone. 

Sure, you said with a hint of surprise. 

Ok. 

He got up and headed upstairs. When he noticed you weren’t following him, he turned to you with a raised eyebrow. 

You don’t want to come ? 

Upstairs ? You asked with your eyebrows furrowed. To your… room ? 

You said I needed to sleep, he pointed out. I’m not sleeping on the damn couch. 

You shrugged and followed him. That was new. You had slept over a couple of times, but never in the same bed as him. The only circumstances in which you had seen his bedroom were strictly sexual. But as soon as the deed was done, he wouldn’t sleep in the same bed as you. And even when you had slept with him during work trips, you’d been back to your own room after. It was one of the many ways in which he could be guarded and you knew it had nothing to do with you. He just had his quirky, peculiar ways. He got in bed and looked at you intently. 

Come, he said. 

Ok, you said as you sat next to him. 

Remove your socks, he instructed. 

I’m not removing my socks, you said. My feet are cold. 

You’re not getting in my bed with your dirty socks, he pointed out. 

I just put them on this morning, you said. They’re not dirty. 

It’s a pet peeve, he said. Just… Socks off, ok ? And get under the covers. 

You scoffed. If he was in a good enough state to be oddly specific - as he often was about practically everything in his life - it was a good sign. You took your socks off and sat in bed, under the covers. It felt weird but Marshall didn’t seem to pick on it. He simply laid there and stared at you. 

You’re not laying down ? He finally asked. 

Um… Sitting is fine, you said. 

Can you lie down, please ? He asked. 

You looked at him with a raised eyebrow but still did as you were told. As soon as you laid down next to him, he closed his eyes. Given how exhausted he looked, you half-expected him to fall asleep right then and there but he didn’t. Instead, he kept on tossing and turning. 

What’s up ? You asked. Do you need anything ? 

I think it’s the Redbull, he said. I haven’t drank much else in days. It’s keeping me awake. 

Oh, you said. Let’s talk, then. 

About what ? He asked. 

I don’t know, you shrugged. We can talk about anything. What’s up with the cleared schedule on iCloud ? Did you do that ? 

Yeah… I don’t know, he said sheepishly. I… I went to the cemetery yesterday and when I couldn’t go and had to go home, I guess I lost it. There were these thoughts in my head and… I’m not sure I can do it anymore. Without Proof it’s… too hard. 

Tears were welling in his eyes again. It had been more than fifteen years since Proof’s passing and Marshall had put out quite a few albums in that time, but the wound still seemed fresh. It wasn’t a matter of his technical ability to do it without Proof - of course he could - it was about whether or not he wanted to. 

Ok, you said. 

Ok ? He asked. 

What do you want me to say ? You asked. Do you want me to plead for you to keep going ? I’m not going to. If you want to quit and retire, that’s ok, you’re allowed. 

Really ? 

I mean… Yeah, you said simply. It’s your decision. If you think you don’t have anything else to bring to the table, that’s fine. You’ve had a good run and a career people can only dream of having. If you decide to put an end to it, that’s fine. 

Wait… No, he said. I mean, your job is to talk me out of it. Is that some reverse psychology thing ? 

It’s Paul’s job to talk you out of it, you clarified. Me, I’m just a personal assistant. My job is to manage your schedule and make life easier for you. Whether or not you put out music, my job’s fine as long as you need me to do your shopping, come to football games with you and remind you of your dentist’s appointments. Next one is in two months by the way. 

He chuckled and you couldn’t help but smile. His face was still puffy and he still didn’t look his best, but hearing him laugh - however lightly - was good. He was a great person and you hated seeing him like this. Of all the people you had ever met, he was the one who had suffered the most, and deserved it the least. He was a good, hardworking, honest and generous man, on top of being one of the most talented people ever. His sadness was breaking your heart. If his career was making him sad, if keeping on going without Proof was too hard, he should be allowed to quit. He had earned it and, in your opinion, he didn’t have anything left to prove to anyone. 

So you don’t care whether I end my career or not ? He asked with an amused look. 

As a fan, I think it would be tragic, you said. Especially If you don’t put out that last album. It’s your best work so far. But as a person… What I care about is you, Marshall. I’m in the front row, seeing how hard you work every day. If you say that’s too hard, then that’s too hard and I trust you on that. If you think you’ll be happier doing something else, just enjoying life with your family and focusing on your charity, you should do that. 

Proof would kick my ass for thinking of quitting, he said pensively. 

I think Proof would want you to be happy, you pointed out. 

He hummed and looked at you. He brought a hand to your face and stroked your face as a single tear rolled on his cheek. You smiled and wiped the tear, letting your hand cup his face. You stared at each other in silence. It was unusual but, oddly enough, not uncomfortable. 

Thank you for staying, Y/N, he simply said before letting out a small yawn. 

You should really try and get some sleep, you replied softly. 

He nodded and closed his eyes as you heard him take deep breaths. A couple of minutes later, he was asleep. You could hear him snore lightly. You looked at your phone to check the time. It was only 1PM. You figured you’d stay there for a while and let him sleep while you answered a couple of e-mails. After a couple of hours, Marshall was still sleeping soundly. You thought you might as well do some tidying up in the house, but as soon as you tried to move, you felt his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him. You smiled to yourself as you realized it was the first time you actually cuddled with him - and you enjoyed it more than you probably should. Your back was against his chest and you could feel his heartbeat. This and the sensation of his arm around you were incredibly soothing and you allowed yourself to close your eyes for a minute.

(…)

Marshall groaned as you gently shook his shoulder to try and wake him up. He scrunched up his nose and let out a few obscenities. He looked pissed off as he opened his eyes. 

What time is it ? He groaned. 

About 7PM, you said. 

You better have a good reason to wake me up, he sighed. 

I think I do. You have clothes on your bed and ten minutes to get changed, ok ? 

I’m not getting dressed, and I’m not going out, he said with an eye roll. 

And I’m not giving you a choice, you said with a smile. Get up. Please. You won’t regret it. 

You made your way downstairs and prepared a bottle of water and a snack for Marshall as you waited for him. When he arrived, he looked a bit puzzled. He was still clearly tired but he looked a lot better. You made him get in your car and drove to the cemetery. You had called ahead of time and asked if they would do you a favor and keep the place open for a couple more hours. You used the « Marshall Mathers » card, which always worked when it came to getting a table at a fancy restaurant, borrowing a private jet or keeping a store open when Marshall needed to shop for his daughters’ birthday. 

What are we doing here ? He asked as you parked out front.

You know what we’re doing here, you said. It’s after hours and you get to pay your respects in peace. 

You… You arranged for this ?

I did, you said. They’ll be open until 8:30PM. I’m sorry, I didn’t find a florist open, though. 

He looked at you in shock and immediately engulfed you in a hug before whispering a « thank you » in your ear before getting out of the car. An hour later, you were leaning on the hood of your car, smoking a cigarette when Marshall came back. He seemed more at peace. You could tell he had cried - as people often do when they’re visiting someone’s grave - but he seemed alright nonetheless. He walked up to you and took you by surprise by kissing you. Contrary to all the kisses you’d shared until now, this one wasn’t greedy, hungry or passionate. It was tender and soft. Intimate and emotional. 

A-Are you alright ? You asked. 

Yeah, he hummed. Thank you for taking me. 

You’re welcome, you said with a smile. 

Ready to go ? He asked. 

Almost, you said as you pointed to your cigarette - knowing full well the hatred he had of your smoking habit. 

The drive home was a bit weird. You had kissed before but this felt different. You had always enjoyed his kisses but this one was, by far, your favorite. You felt a little guilty for enjoying it so much. If you were honest with yourself, it was a little scary, too. The only reason you had managed not to catch feelings for Marshall was because he was usually guarded and there were a lot of boundaries. But after today, after seeing him this open and vulnerable, you weren’t too sure you could go back to having casual sex with him. It would be too dangerous. 

Did you know Proof’s family would be there ? He asked as you parked in front of his place. 

Were they ? You asked in surprise. No, I didn’t. 

The cemetery must have called them, then, he shrugged. 

I’m sorry, you said. I insisted that you have your privacy… 

It’s fine, he said. I talked to Sharonda. Nasaan was here too. 

How did it go ? 

Pretty well, he said. I’m seeing them later this week. Over dinner. 

That’s great, you replied with a smile. I’m happy for you. 

Thank you Y/N, he said emotionally. For everything you always do for me. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to get through life without you. You put up with me, you make life bearable… And… Thank you for today, especially. 

You’re welcome, you said with a small smile. 

He cupped your face and kissed you again. You leaned into the kiss more than you should. A part of you knew that you should push him away… But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Not after he had such a hard day. So you kissed him back and enjoyed the sensation of his tongue caressing yours, of his fingers in your hair. 

Now, you should go and get some rest, you said softly. 

Are you coming ? He asked as he stroked your cheek. 

Do you need me ? 

Y/N… I always need you. 

And just like that… You knew you were screwed. You felt an army of butterflies in your stomach and your brain was nowhere to be found. It had left the chat as soon as you heard Marshall’s soft voice say he needed you. You were unable to think so your emotions took over as you exited the car and got inside the house, his hand in yours. 

[dearshelby]

What type of profile pictures would the Shelby brothers have?

A/N: I was struggling to write a fic, a cockroach entered my house and wrote this to calm down and distract myself lol

Tommy Shelby

• Doesn't have one, or didn't.

• Tommy doesn't have any private social media, he doesn't know how they work or what's even the point of them. The only ones which matter to him are the ones of the Shelby company and he's not the administrator of them.

• (Actually, he has an Instagram Finn made him a long, long time ago, it doesn't have a profile pic, the bio is only his name and the only post is a pic of a horse, he doesn't access it anymore and forgot to tell Finn to deactivate it.)

• However, Ada started to nag him, arguing texting him is like texting a stranger and he should put on a pic. Tommy argued everyone knew his number so a pic was unnecessary, but Ada insisted.

• The problem was, he didn't have any good pictures of him on his phone, he was never the one to take selfies. He only had a bunch of family and documents pictures.

• (He tried to take a selfie once and it turned out terrible. How a man as handsome as him turned out so bad was truly a mystery.)

• So during a family meeting, Ada took a pic of him with his children, he had one on each knee and a small smile on his face. If you get the luck of getting Tommy's private number, the image you'll see it's heartwarming (almost sweet enough to make you underestimate him.)

John Shelby

• John is a show off, everyone knows this.

• He has a Twitter, Tik Tok (his children forced him to create an account, he doesn't actually use it) and an Instagram full of posts which makes people jealous.

• A handsome face (and body 🤭), amazing views, food, travels, cars and a big, beautiful family. Truly enviable.

• Although he's a selfie king and always the one to take pics during family occasions, John doesn't have many posts which expose himself. He's related to the Shelby company after all.

• The only social media you can find a selfie of him is Instagram, the profile pic you can't zoom in or gather any information from.

• The rest of his posts are just showing off his expensive lifestyle.

Arthur Shelby

• Honestly? Another selfie king, but a little different from John. Arthur is good at taking selfies at the most random moments, the ones everyone else will look weird and blurry but he looks good.

• He has way too many pictures of himself on that grandpa angle, in which the phone is almost under his chin and somehow, he still looks decent.

• Differently from his brothers, Arthur has all social medias, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Tik Tok, Tumblr, he's like a curious cat and wants to know what the fuss is about.

• At first, he creates an account and doesn't add any information (even the email he uses it's fake), he spends a few hours checking on whatever the media has to offer and if he doesn't like it, he asks Finn to deactivate the account because he doesn't have the patience to do it himself.

• However, when he likes something, he won't get out so easily, he'll make sure his account is nice and organized. His favorite is Facebook and his profile picture is one of the many selfies he takes with a black and white filter.

• (Also, I'm so sorry but I can see Arthur having a Tumblr blog, compared to Twitter and Tik Tok is much quieter, he can block tags he doesn't like, there's only the content he enjoys on his timeline and there's much more fun people than on facebook.)

Finn Shelby

• Finn went from "sad boy with self esteem issues" to "asshole fuckboy" into "ex-asshole trying to be a nice husband," anyone could accompany his struggle through his Instagram.

• At first his profile pic was a selfie with Polly, then at some overpriced club and now it's a picture of him leaning on his car at some expensive condominium in the countryside.

• It was a long journey until the nice husband phase and Finn still struggles with addiction, his wife and Polly are his biggest supporters and keep his brothers/Michael/anyone at all from mocking him.

• After so long being forgotten, he's finally recovering. He stepped away from the bad side of the family to study law so he can still help anyway.

• In his Instagram you can still find pictures of him in the club, but with friends from college who actually care about him.

• Justice for Finn Shelby, I'm still mad about season 6.

MASTERLIST

[liesmyth]

hi! I've been doing some worldbuilding for a hypothetical Tenth House for oc og Lyctor reasons, and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on the subject? how would you go about it? Sorry if this is a weird ask :)

This is a super interesting idea to consider! I'm throwing it in the main fandom tags and if anyone has anything to contribute please jump in.

I'd never considered this until today, but some thoughts off the top of my head:

History: Since the Houses are named in the order they were founded, I think the OG founder(s) should be a second generation Lyctor & cavalier pair, born in the Houses. The reason why I suggest the OC should be part of the founder group for this Tenth House, rather than just a necromancer from there (like how the Seventh House existed when Cytherea was born; she didn't found it) is because we know that Anastasia DID found the Ninth, and the Tenth would've presumably come after.

Location: the Tenth House installation shouldn't be as far out as the Ninth, for two reasons. One, because the Ninth's whole thing is that they're from the ass backwards middle of nowhere, and them having a close neighbour would cause too many ripple effects that I'm not sure you want. Second, for logistical reasons - I think it's easier to get a House up and running in the limited time between Anastasia establishing the Ninth (or beginning to) and the Lyctors ascending and leaving the system, if they're closer to the rest of the population and have more immediate access to resources.

My suggestion would be to put the Tenth House near Juppiter (Fifth) Saturn (Fourth) or on Ceres (asteroid belt, between Juppiter and Mars/Second House.)

In the first case, the Tenth could be a off-shot of the wealthy and influential Fifth House, or alternatively a Fourth House splinter group. Both of those are gas planets, so presumably the Fourth and Fifth are also based on satellites, but there are so many satellites to go around there that you're spoiled for choice.

In the second case: Ceres is a dwarf planet with a rocky surface, which makes theoretically possible to build an installation on it. It's in the middle of the asteroid belt (so there'd be some difficulties navigating back and forth with whatever resources you need to build a liveable installation) but relatively close to the Fifth / the Second / even to Earth, which is a plus in terms of actually packing up said resources. wikipedia tells me that it's pretty stable in terms of tectonics.

What does the House DO? That would depend on what you need your OC Lyctor to do, in terms of necromantic specialty and any other stuff. If it's an off-shot of the Fifth, maybe something soul / blood / spirit related; if they schismed from the Fourth, a different interpretation of thanergetic fission? If it's in the astreroid field, maybe the House is involved in training up pilots for the Cohort, or stele travel. But I think I would reverse-engineer this part depending on what you need for your OC

[stoopid-turtle]

hello... 😅 uhm, first of all, i truly am sorry in advance for being awkward 😭 but for once i decided not to let my awkwardness keep me from sharing (what i think/hope are) positive thoughts with a stranger on the internet, so here i am.

i'm not around much and legit only made this acc bc like you i'm a late bloomer here and needed as many outlets for my yizhan/wangxian obsession as i could get my greedy hands on, in the big year of 2023... sigh. anyway, as an avid lover of meta/analysis posts since my early fandom days began around 15 (oof 🥲) years ago, finding your acc was such a lovely surprise. i agree with your views a LOT, and really appreciate how eloquent and well-written your posts are! even more so bc there's a lot i still don't know and most of the time the source material is very hard to reach and/or understand due to the language barrier, so having other turtles to rely on to access those, even if filtered by their own biases/opinions, is wonderful. besides, such input coming from a new fan is also comforting and imo refreshing, juxtaposed with that of older fans... it keeps the fandom alive and all that jazz. it's also very brave given how ruthless some folks can be on the internet, and on this corner in particular 😮‍💨 it just felt like reading my own thoughts written by someone else sometimes. i gasped and nodded at your posts soooo many times djskdjdj thank you for that!

(btw you followed me back the other day and i legit fangirled irl bc ??? whatttttt 😅 i still think it was an accident but okay omg djskdjdj AHEM. sorry)

then today i logged in and read your recent posts feeling squeamish about sharing more thoughts and as much as i 100% relate to you saying that kind of attention makes you anxious, i just... idk, i had to let you know i enjoy everything you post, even though adult life has kept me from being able to read it all so far. i understand you stepping back and i respect that decision, i'm not by any means asking you to go against what you know is best for you. at the same time, i can't help but hope you'll still show up every now and then bc your posts will be missed 🥲 i guess the whole motivation behind this is that it just made me sad to think your valuable insights will be something i'm yet again late to, if that makes sense?

djskdjdj again, i'm so sorry for being awkward and weird and dropping all of this on your inbox unprovoked. you don't have to reply (or read this AT ALL omg 😭😭), in fact i'm so embarrassed by this that you'd probably have to reach me through inquiry lmaooo 💀 anyway, have a great life, thank you so much for the great job, bjyxszd etc ❤️💚💛

Oh, don't be anxious! I'm really not a big deal.

Thank you for dropping into my inbox! I love hearing from other turtles, especially relative newbies, like myself! One of my fav parts of coming out of lurking mode is getting to talk to other people. I kinda follow back anybody who follows me, cause it seems polite? I don't know tumblr etiquette. I just follow the tags when I get the chance.

I appreciate the encouragement! I try to avoid dramatics, so I'm sorry for the upset last week. The situation is largely resolved, and I am feeling more okay. I kinda backed off because I wasn't sure of my footing here in fandom as compared to others, especially as I do think I have some takes that fall outside fandom consensus. Again, I don't mean to rock any boats and I'm not invested in convincing anybody that they should have the same opinions as I do. Hearing from turtles who do want me to continue posting gave me some more confidence there.

So, yeah, I expect I'll post some more as I have time. I'd like to post more on dd (cause he's my fav). I'd also like to try to figure out gg cause that dude is so confusing to me. I do have RL stuff going on, and I don't have the time to be super-active outside of occasional posts. But I'd like keep posting stuff. At least until I get all my Yizhan thoughts out.

[ceratonia-siliqua]

Hi! Super weird question to ask, but, I was wondering if you were the person that wrote a fan fic of Bucky/Peter called “Forever.” On Ao3? If so, I always wanted to know what happened to that fic, because it was literally the best of literature I’ve read on Bucky/Peter. It was so good that I would go back to read it again, and I was wondering if you still had that fic, or if something happened to it, I just wanted to know because it still eats me up to this day that I can’t read it no more 😭. Also if this isn’t who I think it is, then I’m sorry please ignore this!

Hi!!! I'm not sure how old this message is but yes, I am the person who wrote Forever. The reason it got deleted was actually not by my choice. The coauthor was found out to be lying about faking a terminal illness and so she deleted her entire account on ao3 and I believe on tumblr as well. Ao3 terminates even coauthored fics if one person decides to remove it so the entire thing was removed and I have just never gotten around to fixing the issue because it was so time consuming and during the aftermath I was still finishing by Bachelor's degree and didn't have time to sort through and make sure I had all the files. Sadly, after checking it looks like all the files were deleted at some point.

But! I do have some good news! Ao3 emailed me some documentation of the original fic so I do have a readable version, it's just not formally posted anymore. I keep telling myself I'll get around to reposting it and so I haven't released the link but I have a feeling I might never get to it so here's the link since I feel bad its been hidden in a backroom for so long.

It is the story in its entirety and pretty much all the original information. Really the biggest hurdle to me posting it on ao3 has been needing to divvy things up into chapters and do all the tagging again.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Let me know if the link works. I tested it while logged out to make sure you didn't need to be signed into my throw away account to access the info and it seemed fine but confirmation doesn't hurt.

[sorcerous-caress]

You're right and I know you are but I actually got so upset that I am now violently sick. I am literally only sharing this because I am fairly certain you're also autistic and BPD but I hate so much that like the one time in mainstream media we are given a bi/pan man who is effeminate and prefers men but isn't a derogatory stereotype but every post about him is like He’s The Most Masculine, Actually and actually the reason we don't see him express attraction to women is because he's so shy actually ignore that he can hookup with Laezel who would not stand for that and is main character trait is confident (and I don't think I've started fights so at least there's that)

I used to not understand the problem with the Astarion fandom but then I came to painful realization he has straight fans who actually seem to hate his canon character

Anyway sorry for all the Bobstarion… gay bpd bitches are gay bpd bitching. You're the best for reading this tho 😭💀💚

I know this feeling very well anon.

You've completely summed it up, he is finally a non-derogatory representation of an effeminate queer man and straight fans burnt his canon to the ground so they can make their dream masculine babyboy shy twink.

God it fucking stings doesn't it? It literally hurts just to think about how much Larian risked by even putting Astarion in the game. A western game at that too where forum after forum are full of incels complaining about women not being inflatable sex objects in their game.

Baldur's gate 2 and 1 never was this inclusive, it was strictly hetro except for the remastered npcs. Astarion by himself probably made them lose half their "old-school" homophonic demographic.

And the fandom takes all of that and makes him another fucking joke of a character? All the people who have never played the game would search up the Astarion tag and get a completely wrong impression of him.

Not once did a character before him made me leave a game because I was disgusted with myself. His storyline and writing is phenomenal because I too objectified him at the start then the game called me out for it in act 3 and it changed my world view so much.

God did you know early access had Gale and Wyll be awkward if a male Tav hits on them? That only Astarion was the always accepting person regardless of gender?

Even now he is still the only male character between the two who openly expresses his interest in men! Who embraces being flamboyant and doesn't try to fit into a narrative.

I completely understand anon, and I know how much bpd and autism highlights these feelings and make them dig like nails at your brain. Yes I have them too. And I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share your thoughts with me.

It must be more frustrating for you tho, for liking Astarion and being lumped in with the rest of his weird fans without your consent. You can't even filter their posts out because they treat their takes as "normal" and how it's not them belittling a queer character no! They're just being "wholesome"

Fuck the batstarion shit still gets on my nerves. I saw one with a baby bottle feeding him??? It just feels so infantilising because he isn't some cute animal he is a fully grown and matured person. If it's just a kink then sure idc but please tag it at least.

Then they make him "shy" around women. You know why that god awful take was probably born? Because most of his straight fans picked women and went into his romance. So they think that his clumsy personality in act 2 is because they're a woman and he is so used to men.

It's fucking disgusting, Astarion would treat both men and women with the same clumsy romance, all my Tavs were nonbinary and he never treated them differently.

You have every right to feel this way, you have every right to be furious at this. Especially with a character you care about so much.

But people will take advantage of that, people who want to start fights for the sake of fights or drama blogs who are itching to make a callout post. People don't like others poking holes in their logic no matter how good your intentions are.

Homophobia exists, racism too, look at how ignored Wyll is by these supposed fans. Look at how popular Gale x Astarion is than x Wyll because both of them are white.

It's okay to vent and it's okay to feel frustrated and stuck. God knows during some bpd episodes I come very close to deleting this blog bc of the smallest of reasons, so Imagine actually having a valid reason to be mad like you.

Take a step back, fuck those people honestly. Fuck anyone who ever did this shit just for their own self indulgence, who left all the media that panders to straight people and came and took Astarion too just to strip him of all of his traits and put him in the hetro box.

So leave them be, they suck, they're shitty and never willing to listen. Don't waste your frustration on them, it's better to yell at a wall, at least, unlike them, it might reply back with something productive one of those days.

Again, I hope you feel better soon. I genuinely do, these feelings suck beyond words can describe. Do something you like or revisit your favourite works that stay true to Asterion's character. Ground yourself with anything that might help.

Don't feed them or reply to their arguments, please. hopefully, they leave the fandom once the new manufactured tumblr sexyman is released and the Asterion tag.

[midnight-soulless-system]

We need to apologize.

Apology is below the cut. We are so sorry to everyone.

We started crocheting!! Omg it is so awesome so we'll be in crochetblr for a while, and probably taking a small break from tumblr. We are loving crocheting though and we've already made two projects! It's very grounding and also: autism.

Well probably post our stuff at some point but not right now because we don't have the spoons to do image IDs and want to make sure everyone has equitable access to see our projects (they aren't that great but I don't care)

Anyways, I'll tag this appropriately, we aren't actually apologizing, just wanted to say things will be really weird and then it'll even out again lol.

Have a day!!

[kato-neimoidia]

15 questions for 15 friends

Thanks @willameena and @somethingsteff for the tags!

1. Are you named after anyone?

No

2. When was the last time you cried?

About an hour ago! Just a little cry, my parents and brother have been visiting me over the weekend as it's my birthday soon and they'd just left so I'm back to being here on my own!

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I don't see that in my future, but am honorary auntie to my friends children

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

Currently playing field hockey. I've been playing for 11 years now. I absolutely love it, playing in defense and in goal, and also coach and umpire (umpiring only when they reeeeally need me to though!).

Have played - would be easier to list what I haven't 😂 I've played football, cricket, basketball, netball, volleyball, to name a few.

While being able bodied myself, a friend of mine who works with local charities for disabilities organised some wheelchair basketball tournaments that I'd been invited to play in. Quite an experience! Don't think I embarrassed myself too much, but a bunch of us from my hockey team put a team together, and we had fun and a laugh with the other teams involved.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, to my detriment. I once sarcastically agreed to be a hockey team captain one year, the sarcasm wasn't picked up and a couple of months later I see a facebook post advertising me as one of the captains :| I followed through and did the year, but never again!

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes, mouth, facial expression, gauging their interest in the current situation

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue and brown - brown around the pupils, kinda starbursting out into blue towards the edges (central heterochromia o.O)

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies usually, I'm a bit cynical and like it when there's a twist at the end where the bad guy wins!

9. Any talents?

Not especially, I'm reasonably good at as sports and crafty things. My 'weird' talent would be that my fingers are hypermobile, so my fingers bend a bit backwards at the knuckles, and I can bent the finger tip joints while keeping the rest of the finger straight

10. Where were you born?

Oxfordshire, UK. Moved to Bedfordshire/Hertfordshire area before I was 1 and have stayed here since

11. What are your hobbies?

Playing hockey, video games, reading, crafting and making little things, such as reconfiguring and painting funko pops, and recently made myself a Sabine Wren mando armour costume for halloween

12. Do you have any pets?

No

13. How tall are you?

5' 1.5"

14. Favourite subject in school?

I was quite partial to maths, biology, and PE

15. Dream job?

Not really sure.. I was always interested in computing and ended up with a job in the IT industry, but it's more in the 'business' side than computing. I've gone vegan and got an electric car over the last 2 years, and have been trying to be more 'green' in general. So it would be cool to be able to do something in that realm, making steps in that direction more accessible and financially viable for businesses and the general public. If money wasn't an object I used to want to work in Game or HMV so I could just play games all day and mess about with merch, while somehow not getting fired

No pressure tags (sorry if you've already been tagged, but enjoy another if so!) @briliantlymad, @isthisfree, @lesbianakins, @underacalicosky, @grapenehifics, @starwalkertales, @piecesofeden11, @trannakinskywalker, @sashkalive, @billowypantss, @mars-attacking, @bolshoiromanova, @vaderborn, @veloursdor, @tideswept

And anyone else who fancies doing this, open invite!

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Elli's Scribblings

Welcome!

This is my cozy little corner of this hellsite. Make yourself at home, have a look around, ignore the blood, that’s just... uh, anyway. Here you’ll find posts with a focus on writing and fictional suffering, but this is a main blog, so there will be a sprinkle of memes, queer stuff and everything else I feel like putting here.

An overview of my (published) writing is below the cut, more about me and my tags can be found on my about page.

My website where you can find most of my novels in free ebook/pdf format My ko-fi where you can support me if you like what you read

@elli-scribbles​ - all my original writing that was posted here @iridium-quality-salad - my video game side blog @cant-burn-the-ice-cream​ - random stuff (untagged; mostly cute things and memes that have no image descriptions)

About Me

Adult, at least on paper.

I curse quite a lot. Sorry (but not really).

I like tag games, but I have the attention span of a common house fly. Also sor— oh look a butterfly.

I run a queue, but I’m not tagging it. Good luck figuring out my sleep schedule.

Stuck between being a whump blog and a writing blog.

Fantasy books and video games are everything.

I will not reblog posts where important information isn't accessible, i.e. undescribed images or weird/small/colorful fonts.

English is not my first language.

My Stories

📖 General

Despite the focus on horrible things, my endings are too happy for dark fantasy, and despite the focus on relationships, I'm too ace for mainstream romance. This post contains extremely detailed (and extremely spoilery) content warnings for all stories that were posted here. All are set in the same universe, have a happy end, and are listed in chronological order below. My personal preferred reading order for Damien's and Merridy's story is Undeserved > Glass Shards > Nuisance > Fancy Boots.

🌿 Thorns and Jasmine

Synopsis: Healer Caldyn gets kidnapped and tortured by bad guys who want to claim his soul, and with it his unique magic. By the time he is saved, it is almost too late. Length: 150k words / finished Vibes: non-human / captivity, torture and recovery / old and new trauma / mostly whump Links: Masterlist

🌺 Twisted Thorns

Synopsis: Blinded and traumatized, Caldyn leaves his home, hoping the distance will allow him to regain control over his magic. But no matter how far he goes, he cannot outrun his past. Length: 98k / finished (eternally editing) Vibes: blind main char pov / dark magic / humans are the weird ones Links: WIP Intro

🪙 Nuisance

Synopsis: When Merridy is saved by the city’s most infamous criminal, she’s sure her life is over. Meanwhile, Cedric just wants to have his peace back. Set about 5 years before Glass Shards. Length: 48k words / finished Vibes: reluctant caretaker / misunderstandings / gay husbands / found family Links: WIP Intro | Masterlist | Ebook

🍬 Sweet Little Lies

Synopsis: When Laurent hides from the guards in a candy store, he falls in love with the owner. Despite his dislike for candy, he can't stay away. Standalone, set right after Nuisance. Length: 37k words / editing Vibes: blind main char pov / colorful glass jars / bloody handprints / dancing slowly at a grand ball Links: WIP Intro

☕ Second Chances

Synopsis: Valadan finds the love of his life, almost gets her killed, and then spends a summer making dick jokes instead of admitting his feelings. Standalone. Length: 46k words / finished Vibes: annoyances to friends to lovers / sword training (flirting) / lots of angst / perfect coffee Links: Masterlist | Ebook

⛓️ Undeserved

Synopsis: Trying to assassinate an ambassador, Damien gets caught and is made to pay for his crimes. The story of how he fucked up his life, told in three different timelines. Length: 47k words / finished Vibes: all hurt no comfort / dungeons ❤ / from bad to worse / shattered glass Links: Masterlist | Ebook

💜 Glass Shards

Synopsis: Merridy saves Damien from certain death. Leaving her life of thievery behind to make sure he recovers might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her. Length: 135k + words / finished Vibes: hurt/comfort / please don’t leave / quiet inn rooms / qpr ace love story Links: WIP Intro | Masterlist

👢 Fancy Boots

Synopsis: A familiar face shows up, disturbs Merry’s and Damien’s peaceful life, invites himself to dinner, and refuses to leave. Set about 2-3 years after Glass Shards. Length: 46k words / finished Vibes: enemies to friends, kinda / trauma / found family / homemade food Links: Masterlist | Ebook (part of Undeserved*) *Glass Shards is set in between Undeserved and Fancy Boots, but I decided to release them together due to recurring themes and characters.

🔔 Till Death

Synopsis: When wandering healer Finnian loses a patient, he is attacked and left for dead in the forest. Hermit Eilis finds him and nurses him back to health. Standalone. Length: 110k words / finished Vibes: falling leaves / so much torture / unreliable magic / self-sacrifice Links: WIP Intro | Ebook

🌈 Other Stories

Everything else that doesn’t fit one of the main story arcs, like background stories of side characters. Gwyneth: Hold On | Rescued The story of how Gwyneth met Raindrop The Rose A short fairy tale based on Beauty and the Beast April 1st I'm so sorry if you see what I did here

If you've made it to the end - have a cookie 🍪

[aikofanfan]

Obey me, Themis! [Part 3]

Summary: Things get more intense as more information rises to the surface.

Warnings: Tot Luke gets his shit rock by a demon I’m so sorry my boy.

A/n: Hey part 3 finally! Aside from Shay the rest are random OCs I made up for this story hope ya like em!

Tags: @noetophat how bout I just tag you myself :3

“Who’s Meph….um….istop….heles?” Rosa asks slowly as Diavolo was talking on his DDD.

“A pain in the neck.” You huff. “He’s a school reporter at RAD. I doubt he’ll tell us much willingly. Leave questioning him to me.”

“MC.” Lucifer says in a warning tone.

“I’ll behave!” You retort. Even Rosa and Artem gave you a doubtful look. You’ve barely been around Artem and he was doubting you already! Rude!

“MC are you sure?” Rosa asks.

“Absolutely.” You give her a thumbs up. Dia walks back over at that very moment.

“He should be here soon.” The prince informs. “MC, I heard you’ll be questioning him.”

“Yep- ARE YOU DOUBTING ME TOO?” You gawk at the Prince who only gives a sheepish smile. You cross your arms and pout as Dia doubles down but tries to reason his doubts. Just then Barbatos walks over with the demon of the hour.

“Lord Diavolo what is it you need from me? Oh Lucifer is here yet you called me? I’m honored!” Mephistopheles bows once he’s close to the Prince. Clearly ignoring you and the two attorneys.

“Mephis I actually asked him to call you here.” You spoke up, the purple head turned to you.

“Oh? And do you want?” He asks. You pulled up a picture of the plant Rosa sent you prior and show him.

“What do you know about this? Dia says you heard about some students passing it around at RAD.” You explain. He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at you.

“So what if I did?” He retorts. “It’s a plant found here, what’s a human like you need it for?” He scoffs.

“That plant somehow ended up in the human world and it’s already harmed or killed many people.” Rosa spoke up, getting irritated with this guy.

“Ah no wonder you two look so out of place. More humans.” Mephistopheles walked up to Artem and Rosa. “Well that’s too bad.”

“Mephistopheles this is serious.” You grab his forearm and yank him back over. “Whatever you might know will be a huge help.”

“Whatever is happening in the human world isn’t my problem.” He snaps, smacking your hand away. Just when you’re about to pop a vein, Diavolo spoke up.

“It is your problem. It’s all of our problem. That plant came from the Devildom, and whatever damage it causes is on our hands.” The Prince says. “So please. Whatever you might know, tell them.”

Demon and human alike knew that was more of an order rather than a request. Mephistopheles grumbles before turning back to you.

“I don’t know much. But I do know some students were passing it around the school and I happen to over hear one of them say something about ‘getting it to the human world’ or something to that effect. I didn’t think much of it but.” He trails off and glances at the two lawyers.

“Who were these students?” Rosa asks.

The demon took a moment to think before giving some names. “Zek and Crow.”

“Ah those guys.” You groan.

“You know them?” Artem asks.

“Yeah. They use to bug me and my mentor about making pacts with them just so they could have easy access to the human world.” You explain. “But wait, we never made pacts with any of them.”

You turn to Rosa and Artem. “I’d contact the rest of your group if I were you. We need to head back.”

~~~~~

Luke sneaks around an old shack, shoved in a small corner of the city. It’s one of the few places they could find that had held some sort of stash of these weird plants. But it seems it’s been cleared out already.

“There has to be something in here.” He whispers to himself. He moves boxes and old gardening tools around, before finding a small filing cabinet hidden away. Just as he was about to try and open it, something from behind grabs the back of his jacket and throws him away. He hits the wall with a loud SMACK.

“So you’re the one that’s been sneakin around.” A man about his height and looked about his age says, hands in pockets with a smaller framed woman behind him. “Nosy little bugs aren’t ya?”

Luke was about to get up but the man was faster and slams his foot on his back, making him grunt in pain. What was this guy?

“Hey you said you wouldn’t hurt him too bad!” The woman spoke up.

“I won’t I won’t. Just enough to get my point across.” The guy says, smushing the heel of his foot into Luke’s back some more. “Grab that filing cabinet though would ya?”

The woman nods and hurried off into the corner where Luke had found it. Luke tried to get up but was promptly pushed back down by the guy’s foot.

“Be a good human and tell me somethin. How did you find this place?” He asks.

“I have my ways.” Luke said and that result in the guy raising his foot and slamming it hard into his back, knocking the wind out of his lungs.

“I got the flies. Let’s go and leave him alone.” The woman came rushing back and tried to pull the guy off but he shooed her away.

“Not until he talks first. I wanna know how this guy learned about my gig here.” The man says and was about to kick Luke in the ribs until there was noise outside.

One bang on the door.

Two bangs on the door.

Three-CRASH!

“LUKE YOU IN HERE?”

“MC OVER HERE!”

Footsteps came rushing over.

“YOU!”

Green eyes met indigo eyes and you grit your teeth.

“Ah now I see.” Zek, one of the demons that use to bug you and Solomon, gave you a lazy smile. You looked down and found Luke on the ground, Zek’s foot digging into his back.

“Get off of him. NOW.” You order. Zek, ever the shit, just steps off before kicking Luke to the side like an empty soda can. You rush over to his side and that gave Zek and the lady with him enough time to vanish into thin air.

“Friend of yours?” Luke tried to joke through his obvious pain.

“Hardly. How was your first encounter with a demon?” You asked and that cut through the pain judging by the face he makes. You used a bit of healing magic to help Luke to his feet but a hospital visit was still needed. You pick Luke up piggyback style and take him to the car where Artem and Rosa was waiting.

“LUKE!” Rosa gasps as she rushes over, Artem not too far behind.

“I’m fine.” He smiled but was clearly still in pain. Fighting a demon never ended well even if they held back a bit.

“Our suspicions were right. Zek and probably Crow made a pact with humans in the city and brought that plant here.” You explain. With Artem’s help, you both get Luke into the back of the car while Rosa used your DDD to text Diavolo and Lucifer.

“He said something about a gig. This is probably more than just that.” Luke huffs and you lightly poke his forehead.

“We can talk it over once you get checked out.” You state. “I’ll stay behind and give this little box of a shack another look over.”

“But these guys know we’re onto them now.” Rosa says, handing you back your DDD. “Plus what about Marius and Vyn?”

“Relax, Rosy. I’ll be fine and meet up with you guys later. As for the other two, I called a friend or two.”

A friend or two was Shay and Solomon. It was only natural Solomon gets involved and Shay well, she had become a close demon friend outside of the boys and you trusted her with this. Just as you thought that your DDD rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey sugar!”

Speak of the devil, literally. It was Shay. You watch Artem and Rosa drive off to get Luke checked out while you walk around the old shack.

“Hey Shay. How are things on your end?” You asks, having your DDD on speaker and float with magic as you move stuff around.

“Boring so far. By the sounds of it not much else has been found and it looks like no one has a clue that there’s more of us onto their little scheme.” She explains. “How about you?”

“Luke found a shack but got attacked by Zek.” You report.

“That damn Zek! Your friend okay?” Shay asks.

“Yeah we got to him in time. Artem and Rosa are taking him to the hospital now.” You tell her. “Any word from Solomon and Vyn?”

“No. I think those two get along a little too well if you ask me. It’s creepy.” She shivers as she spoke. The two of you talk as you keep looking around the shack, after about 30 minutes you sigh.

“I figured there was nothing left but I’m no less disappointed.” You huff.

“No luck huh?” Shay asks as you take a hold of your DDD and turn off the speaker.

“Nope. I’m gonna go meet up with Rosa. And thanks again for helping out, Shay.” You say.

“No worries, hun! Stay safe now!”

~~~~~~

“Now that they’re onto to us, they’ve no doubt cleared out their other hiding spots.” Rosa mumbled to herself as she looks over what Luke, Marius and Vyn dug up while she and Artem was gone.

“I must’ve gotten there right when he did.” Luke comments from his hospital bed. He wasn’t badly hurt after he was healed with magic but the Doctor wanted him to rest there for the night just to be safe.

“Do we know anything about the woman that was with this Zek?” Artem asks. Luke shakes his head.

“Well once MC comes back, I think we can get an idea on where to look.” Rosa says. You had just walked into the room when she spoke.

“What about lil ol me??” You bat your eyes as you walk over to the three. They catch you up to speed and all you can do is scowl.

“I can unfortunately give you an idea on where to start looking. RAD has a whole class on how demons can lure humans into a pact with them. Since Zek and Crow are RAD students it probably wasn’t hard to find targets for whatever the hell they’re planning.” You explain, arms crossed as you began to think. Although after this they might end up as ex students.

“Or we can just tell you now.”

You turn around and look at the door, finding Solomon and Vyn walking in.

“Shay called me and filled us in, told me you’d all be here.” Solomon says. Vyn types at his phone before all of your phones chime.

“Luke, does this woman look like the one you saw?” Vyn asks. Luke looks over the picture he was sent for awhile before he nods. “She’s a patient of mine.”

“And the plot thickens.” You hum and lean against the wall.

“Her name is Maya Row, she came to see me just to talk and find the root of her problems. She suddenly stopped a few months ago.” Vyn explained. “I tried to call her a few times but she never answered.”

“Sounds like we found out why she stopped seeing you.” You comment. “A patient for a Psychiatrist definitely sounds like it fits the bill for a pact by a demon’s standards.

“Given she wasn’t in the best place of a mind the last time I spoke with her I’d have to agree.” Vyn sighs.

“Poor Maya…” Rosa frowned as she reads over the flies Vyn sent everyone.

“We find her we can find Zek.” You spoke up. Solomon holds his hand up to you, his way of saying to back down.

“While that’s true there’s still Crow and whoever he may have lured into a pact.” He points out. Ah right.

~~~~~

“So Zek and his human Maya huh?” Marius hummed as he reads over what Shay sent him. He was stuck in meetings most the day so Shay filled him in.

“We still don’t know where Crow is or who he may have made a pact with.” Shay says. “So get used to having me around.

“Oh how will I ever cope?” Marius teased and Shay sticks her tongue out at him. Just then she jolts before grabbing Marius and jumping to the left, a stop sign landing where they were, crushing into the sidewalk.

“Ah did you really have to go and dodge that, Shay?” A voice spoke up. Shay looks and finds a man yanking the stop sign out of the ground and looks over at her and Marius. Yellow and black mixed eyes stare into her own icy blue ones.

“Crow.” She hisses and helps Marius up. Crow spins the stop sign around a few times, eyes never moving off the pair.

“You know Shay it’s not too late for you leave and let me have a little chat with the human here.” Crow suggests only for his fellow demon to flip him off.

“You know as well as I do what you’re doing goes against what Lord Diavolo wants for the Realms, Crow.” Shay retorts, glancing at Marius who was hiding his phone in his hand. Gotta by him some time to inform the others.

“Blah blah blah. Get off your soap box, Shay. I don’t care.” Crow groans, stepping closer which made Shay move Marius closer behind her. “Why are you even protecting him? You made a pact or somethin?”

“No. Is it so wrong of me to want to keep him away from you and your stop sign?” Shay sassed at him. Marius hits send on his phone and hides it away in his pocket.

“If he starts a fight, I want you to run, understand? A human like you isn’t gonna put up a fight very long.” Shay whispers, still shielding Marius from Crow who hasn’t stopped eyeing him.

“Got it. You don’t have to worry about me.” Marius nods.

You were talking when all the phones of the NXX group chimed at the same time. Rosa was the first one to get her phone out and check.

“Uh oh!” She gasps and goes pale. All she does is show her screen to everyone.

[its-moopoint]

Cait should have a stronger word for shippers like this one who snooped the event in London looking for her. This was a private event for Sinéad not a red carpet show. Cait thanked @anniemacmanus and her friend @WeeMissBea for the invite but this stupid shipper saw a couple of general photos and because she didn't see Cait among all the attendees, assumes she didn't go but sent her "assistant". Cait posted thanks for being there, but this crazy took it as a trick to fool her and her cohorts, because in reality she's over the pond with Rolando. Karma is real though and she found a photo of a guy who looks like Tony. As for Cait, she dyed her hair blonde for The Cut which makes it harder to spot. Sucks to be this shipper! 🤦

=====================

sgiandubh

And until we meet again...

Last Thursday evening, The London Irish Centre organized a two-hour celebration of Sinéad O'Connor's life and legacy, which was attended by C, if we trust both her carefully worded post and her stans' fawning all over Twitter.

For an event of such amplitude it got fully booked in less than six hours from its announcement, there is surprisingly little available content on socials. Bear in mind I even did check their IG.

C is nowhere to be seen, either on stage or in attendance and I highly doubt they wouldn't have included her somehow. And I really paid attention, looked and ogled and took off my glasses and almost pulled my laptop screen near the tip of my nose. To no avail.

On such short notice, the Embassy/Centre would include anyone of note available and in attendance, by the way: I know very well how it's done. These happen on the regular, in my world, and I am often asked to help. LOL.

However, in all fairness, I also spotted this (sorry for the very crude/non-existent editing skills and the very ugly red arrow: it's almost half past four in the morning, here):

https://64.media.tumblr.com/3b79ef189ebd6ff09f27c59b98d5b860/8378e259134c9c94-18/s400x600/5fab15b9dd7bbba9d4046081b49fc05990f8b41d.gifv

If McSideburns went there, he might have gone by himself. How convenient, to send the PA, when you are probably somewhere else entirely.

Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

To be honest, I could not care less, as long as it's not with that greasy-haired social zero. I know what I know, and it is enough.

Maybe our super-sleuths could spot her, in which case my world would not be shattered. At all. So I simply leave this here and open for debate:

snowy-winter-11

It’s hard to have an opinion when there’s no picture of her. One thing is sure they know how to play fans it reminds me when she was in Houston? With Maryl and said her husband was in the crowd somewhere but no picture again… easy to say thing they’re good at that too good. Only my opinion after being for awhile.

2truthsandalie5

Couldn't find her in any of the socials for that ladies soccer game either, weird its like she's a ghost (or across the pond).

tatili

I'm here but I'm not really here, smoke screen!! 😏

bluemaypop

Very interesting. C is probably stateside.

sgiandubh

@bluemaypop - my best guess, too. And unsure if McSideburns was there, too. But wanted to cover all bases.

What's this list above, a tinhat convention??

Most illustrious members tagging along. How lucky that blogger to have had access to all the footage from the event and analyzed every angle and corner to claim C wasn't there. This is how stupid shipper canon comes to life.

She's not filmed there = she isn't there

She appears nowhere near SH in America = she's obviously there.

BTW how's the Tait divorce coming along? Any news from GRO? No?

[becauseplot]

Sorry if this is weird but I saw on the tags of one of ur reblog’s that you’ve been thinking about c!phil in the qsmp and can you expand on that??

I’ve genuinely been thinking about this for WEEKS as well and I’d love to hear ur headcanons!! Only if you want to ofc!!

Oh sure, I'd love to!! (SUPER long post incoming, hope you're ready lmao.)

Honestly they're not so much headcanons as they are ideas for plot?? I like writing, so a lot of my ideas are in the form of stories. The main reason I haven't attempted a fic yet is bc I don't have Enough plot to make anything atm, I've only got random scenes.

ANYWAY. c!Phil in qsmp. I'd probably take c!Phil as he is shortly after c!Techno's passing and chuck him into the qsmp story in the little bit of lore-downtime between the spiderbit wedding and when the election stuff started kicking up (but it's been announced by this point). It’s just so that I don't have to worry about working him into any major story arcs. Missa and q!Wilbur are also there because I said so.

The main thing I have in mind is just c!Phil seeing how different the community is on the island relative to his world---how united the island is, how alive the island is. People have waystones directly connecting each other to their bases and central areas; they drop in on each other all the time. People's comms buzz constantly as full conversations take place over global chat instead of through whisper-messages. There are security doors and reinforced walls but they're not necessarily to keep other islanders out; people share passcodes and access keys for emergencies. Everyone seems to know and trust each other despite the mysterious (and sometimes dangerous) circumstances they find themselves in.

In c!Phil's quiet, post-post-post-Doomsday world, where most were scattered to the wind or went into hiding, this would be a serious shock for him. I think it would take him a bit of time (and quite a bit of reassurance from q!Missa and q!Phil) for him to adjust to the fact he doesn't need to put a hand on his weapon every time someone gets a little too close. He'd probably be a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of people and how inviting they are (introvert/isolationist moment). q!Phil (also introverted and isolative by nature) would clock this Immediately and come up with excuses for c!Phil whenever he clearly needs a break. Suddenly being around so many people, especially after c!Techno's passing...it would be draining.

What else... Oh, the "tttt" system! I have a whole Idea(TM) about this scene so I won't say too much here but c!Phil marveling at how everyone shows up to help. Again, the whiplash.

Also, hearing about the upcoming elections would give him an immediate shot of anxiety. Like, someone mentions the elections and c!Phil's face goes white. Yeah. Elections and community division are what led to him making the worst decision of his life (killing his son---though c!Wilbur's downward spiral started long before the elections). He hates to think that this loving community could be corrupted like L'Manburg's was. Before he's sent back to his homeword, he definitely takes the time to warn them about the potential danger they're running into.

OH! And the Technoblade shrine Tallulah made! Again, I've got a whole Scene about the Technoblade shrine in my head, so I'll keep this brief as to not just write out the whole scene (lmao), but I think he would really appreciate it. In his world, c!Techno had a lot more enemies than friends, so seeing how cherished c!Techno’s memory is in this world (cherished by q!Phil, by Chayanne, by Tallulah, by everyone who has heard the stories about Phil's old friend) would probably be so...relieving for c!Phil, who has felt so alone in his grief. (Of course, he has c!Niki and c!Ranboo to grieve with him back in his world, but again---hardcore isolationist. It would be a long time before he felt the motivation to reach out.)

I have a few other small details floating around (talking to q!Wilbur, the fancy "technology"/mods on the island, using paragliders to pseudo-fly, complaining about the tropical weather, the dubious existence of q!Kristin, anarchist solidarity, interactions with Chayanne and Tallulah, and so on) but I've laid out the meat of it.

God this post got long lmao. Clearly I need to get to writing that fic. Thanks for letting me ramble at ya! If you’ve got any ideas u wanna share, send em my way! No pressure to respond to this at all ofc I know this is a Lot. Thanks for the ask :D

[unnecessary-feelings]

Tell me abt the oc u lovingly refer to as "weird arson motherfucker" pls

HI sorry i forgot to answer this, thank you for asking abt her!!! i’m still in the process of fleshing everything out so things might change but she’s my ace attorney OC! i’m putting everything under a read more because this post ended up being longer than i meant it to be and i don’t want this to be a pain to scroll through for anyone on mobile who doesn’t wanna read me rambling about blorbo from my brain, i’m sorry if this is hard to read i have trouble putting my thoughts into words for other people to read hdjdbfbdn, also spoilers for cases 4-1, 6-1, 6-3, and 6-5

i made her because i started wondering what would happen if dhurke and amara had a daughter older than rayfa that was in line to become queen before the khura’in royal residence fire and then i accidentally got carried away with her story lmao

her name is kaba’anyi padma khura’in (i was thankfully able to figure out a name for her after i created her tag, it means something along the lines of “daughter of the sun” because sun motif go brrr. ALSO i got to that name because nyi means sun in tibetan and khura’in is in the himalayas so i figured that link made sense. i’m very proud of her name because i struggle with naming characters so being able to make up a name for a character from a country that doesn’t exist is very big for me), or anyi for short, and she uses she/her pronouns. she was born in 1998 (for the sake of timeline consistency in this version of AA dhurke and amara are around 5 years older than they are in canon because after i had already chosen a birth year for her i realized that dhurke and amara would have been too young at that point in time shdnrhdh) and i played around with the idea of her committing a couple of crimes as a member of the defiant dragons, set a couple of government buildings on fire to get back at whoever tried to kill her and amara (she didn’t know it was ga’ran at the time but since they would have had to have access to the royal palace she knew they would have to have been high ranking and probably still were in that position) which is how i got her tag name but now i’m not sure if i wanna keep that part in or not lmao, now that i have a probably-concrete name for her i might move everything in her tag over to a new one, probably should do that sooner rather than later before the tag has too many posts

anyways, no matter if it was arson-related or simply because y’know, she was the daughter of the man who the country believed had murdered the previous queen, she was arrested, but she broke out and managed to fake her death to avoid being looked for (that part may be subject to change if i can’t figure out how exactly that happened, while i have a good grasp on the rest of her story there’s a gap between the royal palace fire and her moving to the US that is just kind of a loose collection of things i thought would be interesting for now hjsjdjsjfh)

so after that, she moved to the US when she was probably around 21 (still working on a concrete timeline but that’s somewhere around the right age) because of the rebellion. she changed her name to guinevere amos (i chose guinevere because the rest of the WAA except for trucy has mythology themed names so i figured arthurian legend would fit into that even though i’ve gotten all of my knowledge of arthurian legend from the mechanisms lmao, and i just chose amos because it was the first name of the main character of the book i was reading at the time and i’m pretty sure amos is also a last name so i went with it) and ended up joining gavin & co law offices which turned into a very awkward sibling reunion with apollo, i think she would have acted as a second co counsel alongside gavin (pretty sure that happened once in dd so i’m choosing to believe that double co counsels are a normal thing in the aa legal system) during 4-1 and helped apollo and phoenix get kristoph arrested, then she joins the WAA alongside apollo (although i think she would have joined a little bit earlier than apollo as she was quicker to accept phoenix’s invite at the end of 4-1) and then she helps the WAA with the rest of AA4 as well as AA5

as for AA6, anyi decides to go with phoenix to khura’in because it’s been nearly a decade since she was last in contact with her family and the rest of the rebels and she felt it was time to go back even if only for a couple of weeks, since she was now going under a different name she decided that it was safe to go back if she could keep her head low and avoid getting into trouble, obviously that didn’t happen, which marked the beginning of Guinevere Amos AKA Kaba’anyi Padma Khura’in’s No Good Very Bad Vacation, canon shenanigans ensue, you get the idea, when i get around to replaying the AJ trilogy (i’m intending on replaying it when it comes out on the switch but i might end up doing it before then as well) i’m thinking abt doing a liveblog thing (is it still liveblogging if you’ve already played the game in question?) where i also explain how anyi would interact with the events of the games if that makes any sense

after the events of 6-5. she stays behind in khura’in with apollo, and works with him at justice & co law offices, my original thoughts were that she takes back the role of royal priestess alongside being a lawyer and then quits when she becomes queen instead of rayfa but it could also be that she stays a lawyer and rayfa becomes queen like in canon, either way i’d imagine it could be a source of conflict between the two, although i think they would be able to work it out, unlike amara and ga’ran

one last thing, i’m currently working on some art for her and i am so excited to post it here because she is literally GORGEOUS i’m so proud of her design <33

i think that’s everything! i hope this made sense lmao

also is it normal to be nervous talking about your ocs to other people? it feels so weird trying to explain the things that come out of my brain like this

[space-blue]

Hi! Just want to say that I enjoy you and your writing and art!

I have a genuine question though, and please don’t take any of what I say the wrong way; I really mean no hate here. But, why do you ship Vander and Silco? I understand that they aren’t technically real blood brothers or anything, but for me personally it just feels weird because they refer to each other as genuine brothers and see each other as such. So shipping them feels off…but I’d like to know your thought process with that. Again, I’m sorry if I sound rude and I really don’t mean any hate here!

Heya Anon,

Don't worry, you do sound earnest, I'll answer your question! There's no shame in asking.

I'm going to make several arguments to give you a general picture.

First off, language.

Just checking, but are you aware of the term "Brother in arms"? I'm asking because I've met one fan who didn't know the term at all while trying to upbraid me about shipping them, months ago.

This is what we (meaning many viewers and most Vanco shippers) understand the term as. It's a well used expression in media. Vander and Silco fought together, they shared a political cause.

Silco also tells Finn that they used to fight "brothers and sisters" having each others backs against the oppressors. Silco is clearly not talking about him and his 12 unnamed siblings here. He's referring to everyone who fought for that cause as brothers and sisters (in arms).

Then, other languages. If you watch the show in Japanese for example, you'll see that Silco doesn't use a term that correlates with brother, but with comrade. It's the case in other languages too, I couldn't tell you how many since I don't have access to all languages on Netflix.

So imagine if I were a Japanese artist shipping Vanco and you came at me saying "they're brothers, it's wrong!" — I'd be hella confused, because I'd have watched all of Arcane without a hint of them being "brothers".

If they were truly brothers and not just very close partners, then certainly this would be carried across in other languages. It isn't. They use more suiting local expressions, that happen to not have the word brother in it.

Most Vanco shippers came to the ship never even thinking about them as "brothers", or have a very different understanding of the term. It helps too that Silco uses it with so much spite it's basically an insult, because Vander isn't his "bro" any more, hasn't been for years...

Secondly, character.

Speaking of that spite : they were very close once, yes, and maybe that sounds uncomfortable to ship to you, but they clearly haven't been for a very long time? They're canonically mortal enemies? Surely I don't need to point to the enemies—to—lovers tag?

They 100% don't see each other as close any more. Vander seemed surprised to see Silco at all, and Silco came out swinging with the intention to either recrute or kill. Hardly "brotherly" behaviour.

Silco and Vander are the way they are because of each other. Vander carries shame. Silco is on a war path. Vander taught Silco "how to overcome a more powerful enemy". He's made him into the ruthless man we meet. If there's no Vander, then there's no Silco. They're integral to each other's character.

That's extremely intense. Extremely intense relationships are hot. Period. They're acting like bitter exes. Like over the top divorcees. They have sooo much tension, literally nose to nose and forehead to forehead while choking and stabbing each other? Please.

Some may think that making them a couple cheapens that intense relationship.

And they're perfectly right to think so if that's how they feel.

There's no right or wrong about these characters, and everyone has a unique perception. I think that them being once together heightens their relationship, but I'm a gen writer at my core and can completely see the argument in favour of keeping them platonic.

That leads me into the next point : the Queer trope.

I'll let the images speak for themselves.

A lot of Vanco shippers are queer people who look at them and go "Ahahaha ooooh they were so married".

And really, that's enough? If you see the tension, recognise it has lots of erotic or emotional potential and want to explore it in fic or art… And the semantics of the "brother in arms" thing is meaningless to you or an actual bonus… then there is literally nothing stopping you from shipping them. And there shouldn't be.

Also, there are plenty of works, from game of thrones to fanfics, that cover actual incestuous relationships. These fics have a right to exist, AO3 agrees, certainly all mainline publishers agree, and people can find it hot simply because it's down their alley. I definitely know Vanco shippers who, seeing your question, would just shrug and say "And what if they were brothers? It's be even better." So that's also an argument.

There's a point where you have to look at a ship, see it has hundreds of devoted fans, and realise that you may never "get it", and that's perfectly fine. You find it uncomfortable, while to others it's a perfect OTP they have an incredible time interacting with. I can't explain why that is. We're all just different, with different pasts, different books we've read and media that shaped us, different levels of media literacy... So we all end up taking something different from the shows we watch.

Final point : Double Standards.

This is not an accusation, since you're anon and I don't know you. This is aimed at anyone reading with the same mindset as you.

Have you stopped to look at Jayce x Viktor with the same standards?

Jayce is literally the only character in a canon straight relationship, with a sex scene no less, and says to Mel that Viktor "is like his brother".

Somehow these two don't get the "omg ew, why would you ship them they are brothers" treatment. I wonder why…

Oh, I know : because we see them meet. So it's very textual that Jayce and Viktor met as adults, and fans can easily dismiss the "brother" line and remain assured they aren't "incestuous brothers".

Meanwhile, because we don't know Vander and Silco's past lives and don't know how they met, fans who are prone to very hardcore textual readings of the show, without diving into subtext, references, etc. tend to just instantly label them as "brothers" and not look back.

But Vander and Silco could meet at 18 as perfect strangers, have an intense relationship, drown each other, not see each other for 20 years, and then go on to sarcastically call each other brothers and you would change *nothing* from canon. Except if we KNEW that for sure, then no one would be out there saying "they were like brothers".

Instead, I think, they'd be saying "but they hate each other!" and I'd be here pointing to the sign...

Personally :

I like this ship because they're hot DILFs with a shit ton of angst between them. Literally stabbing and choking each other over grief that's DECADES OLD. They're obsessed. Can you imagine the amount of closeness they must have had, to spark so much resentment?

And Silco still trying to get Vander to his side, just in case he could be swayed and he could have his brother back? Ough— chef's kiss.

It's dark, it's painful, it's angsty, they're hot, they're dads and dad shaped, there's a stupidly sexy size difference, Silco has Vander strapped into that chair… Ahaha… It's perfect.

I actually like how much of their past is left up for the imagination. It has become the focus of many of my fics, and I'm so comfortable in my headcanons that I borderline don't want season 2 to burst my bubble lol

But yeah. The bottom line is that Vanco shippers don't see anything wrong with a good angsty ship between old men, and are generally a little exasperated to have a technicality used to dismiss the ship, but we mostly don't care and keep about our business. Our old men need love and they won't ship themselves!

Hope that clarified things. Again, if you still don't get it : it's fine. Nobody really cares, so long as you don't use your dislike of the ship to bully anyone. You're free to never get it, or free to try out fics of them until it *clicks* and you join our ranks.

I'll happily provide you with recommendations if you want!