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#[ IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE HE'S SPOKEN AND SAID ANYTHING; GUYS. ]
orchideae · 4 months
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Lantern Rite leaks (I know these are just things so far, etc. usual):
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Listen, listen, listen, I've been so highly anticipating Lantern Rite 2024 since it ended this year (it was my first one, it was amazing; one of the reasons why Liyue will always rate so very highly for me) and I'll be thrilled with whatever it is that we get, but!!! Light negative nancy incoming (understandably so, I think), forgive me, stop reading if you'd prefer: no Ningguang, no Beidou, No Madame Ping?? NO YELAN at all??! (Me: listen, I'll be happy to just see her, doesn't even need to speak, I will never expect more, it's perfectly IC)
Edit: Ok ok, we're better. I got so frustrated at the '19' that I missed the 66. But also, IS THIS STILL LANTERN RITE OR IS THIS CHENYU VALE?
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samandcolbyownme · 6 months
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Summary: anon request - "can you do one where y/n likes Colby and he likes her but they don't really do anything about it but flirt until they're at the spot and a ghost/demon thing (you can completely make up the scenario), torments and targets y/n to the point she's crying and runs out with Colby chasing after her? Pleaseeeee"
Warning: This one shot will start out kinda funny and flirty between reader and Colby, but it will get dark and contain the reader being targeted by the spirits and some actions include; being touched, pushed, choked, scratched, spoken to, and other things some readers might find a bit creepy. There will also be mentions of murder at the place of exploration and other bad things some readers may be triggered by.
Read with care my lovelies!
Word count: 10.3k
Disclaimer: I completely made this story up!
"We're going to explore the Hellriegel Manor in a few days.. you in?" Colby says on the other end of the phone. You smile to yourself and sigh, "I suppose I can make time in my very busy schedule for you."
You are always up for doing a video with them, even hanging out with them off camera. You've known them for a while, so sleeping over at their place or in the same tent while in the middle of some haunted woods wasn't that big of a deal, or so you thought.
"You better, y/l/n. We need you on this one." Colby chuckles to myself, "Plus, we kinda miss you out here."
You liked Colby, a lot actually. Sam is always teasing you guys, mainly because he knows he likes you too, but you both always shoot it down for stupid reasons.
You thought that maybe it would be best if you just kept him as a close friend, but the light flirting and how comfortable you are with each other makes it incredibly hard, not to mention, you and Colby are always thinking about each other though, especially when you crash at their place, and when you're asleep in a tent within in an arms reach away from each other.
You laugh as you hear Sam in the background yelling, "Don't let him lie to you y/n. He's been crying like a baby every night since you've been gone."
Point proven.
"Shut up, dude, my god. She can hear you." Coby says with a groan and you can tell that he's getting shy, "Fuck." You picture his big smile as you grab your laptop, listening to them bicker back and forth like usual.
You had to admit, you missed them, too. Even though you're visiting your family on the east coast, you honestly felt homesick.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow." You bite your lip, waiting for a response but it's quiet, "Um, hello?"
You hear muffled yelling, and you already know that it's Colby trying to get Sam to keep his mouth shut, "That's great, y/n! See you tomorrow!" Colby yells over Sam trying to yell out.
"Stop it. Please." You can hear Colby laugh, and Sam yells, still slightly muffled, "Bye!"
You hang up and shake your head laughing as you click open a new tab and type in the place Colby said you're going.
"Hellriegel Manor." You repeat to out loud after reading one do the old newspaper headlines. You scroll down as your eyes scan over the screen,
Multiple prostitutes brutally murdered in Hellriegel Manor
Callum Hellriegel is the devil himself
The ruthless murder of Hellriegel Manor revealed
Callum Hellriegel, killer found dead by self inflicted gunshot wound to head
The town thinks workers at the manor were involved
You blink a few times, shaking your head as you let out a sigh. You reach for your phone and FaceTime Colby.
He picks up fast, "Hey."
"So a possible demon. That's nice." You look into the camera and tilt your head. He takes a deep breath and lets out a long sigh, "I was trying to wait until you got here to tell you, but I guess cats out of the bag."
You nod, "Yeah, yeah." You laugh slightly and squint, "Oh no." Colby looks behind him then back to you, "What?"
"It's quiet... did you finally kill Sam?" You smile slowly and he laughs, "No, no. He's upstairs editing."
"So I called at the right time then, huh?" You tease and he nods with a smile, "Yeah, yeah, you did."
You move back onto your bed, continuing to look up the manor, "Colby."
"Yes?" He asks staring at you through his phone, but he looks away when you look, "This place looks fucking creepy, and it sounds even worse."
You know what he's about right say next, so you cut him off by speaking, "I'm still going." You bite your lip as you read, "I think with having a girl there, it might help us figure out what really happened."
He nods, "I was taking to Sam about that, too, actually. It also might be the worse because of how bad that Callum dude is made out to be."
"Yeah, but.." You nod slowly as you read more, and your eyes widen, "Colby."
"Y/n."
"Do you know what Hellriegel means?" Your eyes move over to your phone that's propped up against your computer screen and he shakes his head, "Probably something not good."
"It means the Devil, in German." You swallow slowly, "Fuck I have the chills now."
"Again.. if you do-"
"I'm going." You smirk, "My flight is already booked and.." just as you were about to say something really sweet, you hear Colby groan and Sam appears on the screen, "Ayo!"
You laugh and wave, "Hi again Sam."
"She's looking up Hellriegel Manor." Colby looks up at him and he sighs, "Does that mean you cancelled your flight?"
You scoff, "Please. Do you not have any faith in me, Golbach?" He smirks and rolls his eyes, "You right. Plus you'll have this guys, Mr intimidator here, to protect you." He grabs Colby's shoulders and shakes him slightly.
Colby's face is turning red, but so were your cheeks. You had to admit, it's getting a lot harder for you to resist each other, especially when he is making sure you're okay in the middle of an investigation.
He was and is the one you run to when you're jumping out of your skin scared.
"Yeah, yeah. Okay. I gotta go tell my parents that I'm leaving tomorrow." You pick up your phone and set your laptop down before you get up.
"Text us your landing time and we'll be here." Sam says and you give him a thumbs up. He walks away and Colby points the phone back to him, "Tell them we said hey and I'll see you tomorrow."
You smile and nod, "I will, and I'll see you tomorrow."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You couldn't stop thinking about what Colby said, about this possibly being a bad idea about you going, but you never turned away an adventure with Sam and Colby.
You're not going to start now.
As you walk through the airport, you hear your name being called. You jump slightly and turn, seeing Sam and Colby walking up to you.
"How was your flight?" Sam asks bringing you in for a hug. You hug him back, "It was alright, boring but alright." You look over at Colby who can't wait to have you in his arms, as you lean back from Sam.
"Glad you made it here safe." Colby wraps his arms around you, pulling you in close to him. You close your eyes, happy to be back with them until Sam clears his throat, "Maybe get a room or something?"
"Dude." Colby says loosening his arms from your waist as he turns to him trying not to laugh. You roll your eyes, "You'll never quit will you?"
He shrugs and holds his hands up, "Maybe if you guys would just admit that you like each other.."
"Oh my god." You try to hide your smile, but ayour cheeks regaining that blush of pink like normal doesn't help matters at all, "Can we just go please? I'm hungry."
Colby laughs slightly and wheels your suitcase behind him, "Yes. Please." He glares over at Sam who can't help but smirk at him.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Back at the house, they give you the rundown on what they know about Hellriegel.
"So as you already know, Callum Hellriegel was a very.." Sam trials off as he tilts his head and you raise your eyebrows, "Devil of a man?"
Sam nods, "Exactly."
Colby speaks up, "There's been a mix of good and bad investigations, so it's really hard to tell what exactly we'll be dealing with."
You nod, "Hmm. Well I mean, if it gets too bad we can always high tail it out of there."
Colby nods, "Yeah, exactly. did you read up on anything else after our call or no?" You shake your head, "Since you said you wanted to fill me in, I figured I'd wait. Hear what you have to say." You smirk slightly and he nods.
"How nice of you." Sam says laughing, "But on a serious note guys.." he looks to Colby and back at you, "we truly have no idea what we're going to walk into."
"That's the exciting part though, right?" You shrug and smile, trying to stay positive because you were actually shitting your pants about going to this place.
"Bingo." Sam points and looks at his phone when it goes off, "That's the owner of the manor.." he answers, "Hello?"
You and Colby exchange smiles as you look back to Sam who is nodding, "Alright sick, yeah thank you." He hangs up and looks between you and Sam, "Tomorrow night."
You're kinda shocked but then again, kinda not surprised that it's happening this soon, "Oh great."
"What? Getting scared are we?" Sam teases and you side eye him, "Where is your faith in me, Sam? We talked about this." You laugh and he shakes his head, "I honestly didn't expect him to let us in that easy. It's always been a fight for other investigators to go there."
You smile, "You guys are changing the world, how could they not?"
"You're a part of this team too, y/n.." Colby smiles and looks from you to Sam, "So we are changing the world." He looks back to you, "You sure you're up for this?"
"I'm sure."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
It wasn't until two am when you stared up at the ceiling, wondering if you really are sure about this. The more you thought about it the more it scared you but this is what you do, you remind yourself over and over again.
This is what you do.
Luckily, this isn't the first time you've been in this situation, and each time you are, both Sam and Colby make sure you're okay, along with each other of course.
You let out a sigh, rolling over to face the tv and your phone lights up. You reach out, grabbing it to pull back over to you and you see it's a message from Colby, I know you're nervous about this place and honestly.. we are too, but if things do turn bad, we'll get out of there.
You turn onto your back and a smile rests on your lips and your thumbs quickly tap the keyboard on your screen, I was actually needing that reassurance right now. I can't sleep because I am very nervous about tomorrow, but we've probably been through worse, right?
As you're waiting for a reply, you see a twitter notification pop up at the top of your screen and you laugh slightly, "Fucking Sam."
You click on the notification,
@/SamGolbach: New video popping up soon! @/Colbybrock, @/yourtwittername, and myself are going to be spending the night in the Hellriegel Manor. Stay tuned!!
You like the tweet and retweet it with a bunch of nervous face emojis and Colby instantly likes it.
You click on your group chat with both Sam and Colby, So we're all just up huh?
Sam texts back, Um, no. Only losers who won't confess their love for each other are awake at 2 in the morning
Same texts back again, talking about you Brock
Colby sends you a text separately then replies into the group chat, I'm not up what are you talking about?
You laugh as you type, bring the party down here, I'm kinda freaking myself out
Sam instantly replies, Take it to Colby's room
"Sam!" You hear Colby yell from upstairs and then a door opens, "Only trying to help." Sam says as he comes down the stairs, a shirtless Colby behind him, "Only making it worse, brother."
You sit up, looking back at them, "Can you turn the light on, please?"
Colby nods, flipping the light on and Sam instantly yells, "Oh my god, behind you."
You jump up off the couch, running backwards towards them and you push Sam when you turn to him, "Asshole."
"That wasn't cool, man." Colby shakes his head at Sam and you look up at Colby, "You can laugh." He fights it, and shakes his head, "No.. no.. it's alright."
You roll your eyes and make your way back to the couch, turning on a YouTube video about the manor, "Let's learn all we can shall we?"
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You don't even know when you fell asleep, you just know that when you woke up, you weren't alone. You look up at a still sleeping Colby, smiling slightly as you listen to him snore softly.
Your attention is ripped away when you hear Sam coming down the steps carrying his backpack, "Mornin' sleepy heads.. or head.. I'll let you wake the beast."
You smirk and shake your head, looking back at Colby, staring at him for a few seconds before tapping his chest, "Hey, Colbs."
He doesn't budge so you tap harder and lean in, "Colby." He jumps slightly and looks at you with an immediate smile taking over his face, "oh hey." He stretches his arm slightly, "What time is it?"
You tilt your head back, "Sam what time is it?"
"Almost time to leave."
"That doesn't give me a-"
"It's nine." He smirks when you look at him, raising his eyebrows as he motions to you and Colby, making a heart with his hands. You wave him off and look back at Colby, "It's nine."
He sighs and sits up, "Okay. So we have an hour until Sam wants to leave."
"You know me so well." Sam says walking over and grabbing stuff off the coffee table. You tilt your head, "More like you drilled it into our heads repeatedly last night."
He mocks you before sighing, "Do you have to fight me on everything?"
You stand up and stretch, "Would I be one of your friend if I didn't?"
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
After getting everything around, you finally make your way to the car.
"I figured we could film the intro once we got there?" Sam says playing around with the camera. Colby nods, "Works for me."
You lean back in the seat, clicking on the message Colby sent you before they came downstairs last night, I really didn't expect you to be awake so this is awkward, but you know you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, right? And I don't just mean that with the ghost hunting.
You smile to yourself, but snap out of it when Sam starts talking and you know he's recording, "We are on our way to Hellriegel Manor, we just left a little bit ago so we should be there in like two hours or so. How are you guys feeling?"
He turns the camera to Colby, "Colby. How are we feeling, buddy?"
Colby shrugs and laughs, "I am ready to try and get answers on whether this is truly a demon or not."
Sam turns the camera back to you, "Y/n. You shaking in your boots back there?"
"No but I will be once we hit that final stretch towards it." You laugh, "I'm excited."
Sam turns the camera around so it's on all of you, "We will keep you guys updated along the way. So far it'll be driving but you guys, luckily get to skip that part." He cuts the camera off and you can't help but laugh.
"What?" Sam asks turning and Colby laughs with you, "I'm laughing because she's laughing."
You sigh, "I don't even know why I'm laughing. I think I'm nervous now."
"Well, we can drop you off here. It's not a long walk back." Sam teases and you know he can feel your glare through the back of his seat, Colby's too.
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding." Sam laughs and it's pretty much just joking back and forth the whole way there because let's face it, you were scared to go there and you were all worried about each other.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Sam clicks the camera on as you drive through the rusted old gate, "We have arrived at our destination." He points the camera to Colby and he gives a big smile as he laughs, "I think I just shit my pants. This place is fucking creepy even in the day time, man." He leans forward, looking at the huge, visibly old house.
"Look at those pillars." Sam says with a sigh, "I have a feeling we underestimated this guys."
You nod, "Mhm." Sam puts the camera on you as Colby parks the car and you purse your lips together, "I just got cold."
Both of them turn back to look at you, "Really?" Colby asks and looks at Sam, "That's not good."
Sam turns the camera around and makes a face, "We literally just pulled up and already one of us is feeling something. If that doesn't say anything about this place.."
"You guys didn't feel that? I mean maybe it was a freak thing, but as soon as we went through the gate, I felt something and then the closer we got to the house I got a chill."
"Wow." Sam is shocked, "Alright, well on that note, we'll see you guys in a second." He ends it and turns back to you, "Are you good?"
You nod, "Yeah, yeah. I'm good." Colby looks back at you, giving you an are you actually look and you nod again, "Let's go."
As you get out of the car, Sam starts rolling again, "Alright guys, we are here at the Hellriegel Manor." He shows the old building, "This place is just.. I don't know."
"I'll tell you what it is, insane." Colby says while straining his voice as he leans into the camera.
You knew tonight wasn't going to be a good night, for you at least. You have continuously felt energy since the moment you crossed through the gate, and some of it wasn't good.
"Y/n?" Colby says walking over to you, "You good? You just like zoned out for a minute there."
You blink a few times and look up at him, "We might not be spending the whole night here."
Sam moves up to you, "Really? Why do you-"
"Something just moved in that very top-right window." You point and Sam moves the camera up to it, "Shit, are you serious? Colby did you see that?"
Colby shakes his head, "Shit. No."
"You Sam and Colby?" An older guy who's followed by two more guys, yells out.
"Hey, yes sir.." Colby says walking over and you and Sam follow him, "I'm Colby, this is Sam, and y/n."
You all shake hands and the guy sighs, "I'm Dean, these are my two sons, Riley and Luke. What all have you heard about this place?"
"Callum Hellreigel is a big name attached to this place, right? He was the one who caused all of the prostitutes to go missing?" Sam asks as he hands the camera to Colby.
Dean nods, "Yeah, in or around 1927, it was rumored that the reason he was killing these women, was for sacrifices, but people who have worked in the house swore up and down he didn't but who knows.." as Dean goes on explaining more about the manor, you suddenly feel a wave of dizziness was over you and you close your eye.
"No shit." Colby nods, "Do you know why he was doing that or .. anything?"
"Whoa. Hey, y/n." Sam moves to your other side and taps your arm, "You with us?"
You slowly open your eyes, "He doesn't like us talking about him." You can tell everyone around you tenses, "Sam once you said his name, I got dizzy."
"He likes you." Dean says wagging his finger at you, "He always likes the pretty ones."
Colby shifts towards you and you look over at him. He hands the camera to Sam and looks back up at Dean who sighs, "You might have the best of luck tonight, y/n."
"Great." You laugh slightly, "We also heard that it's hit or miss with how good or bad it can be."
Dean nods, "Oh yeah. Very much so. We've had people come in who didn't get anything but a few knocks and we've had people who were so overwhelmed within two hours they had to leave."
"That's crazy, dude." Sam says and looks at you and Colby. Colby shakes his head and laughs slightly, "Well we mean no harm, we just want to try and figure out if those old news articles were right."
"There's another figure in the window." You point to the same window and they all look up but it disappears.
"Are you talking about the far window on the right?" Dean slowly turns towards you and you nod, "Mhm."
He nods, "That's where his room is."
"Am I seeing him?" Your heart starts to race and Dean shrugs, "Very well could be." He nods towards the house, "Come on, we'll give you the tour."
"Are you okay?" Colby asks holding onto your arm. You nod, "This is going to be a very good video for you guys.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"You know. During the day it's not as scary." Sam says with a nervous laugh, "Right?"
One of Dean's sons laughs, "Wait for sundown."
"I don't wanna wait for sun down.. sun please stay up." Sam laughs along with the rest of you.
"Now this room is the room where he held about five woman at a time. They'd come in here and basically wait for their turn with Callum." Dean opens the door and you guys walk into a small room, "There was always a guard, or whatever you want to call them, in here with them at all times."
"Oh wow." You shake your head, "This is.." you look around, "They were scared." Right after you say that, there's a thud and you all look towards the door.
"that sounded like it came from downstairs." Sam whispers, and soon after there's another thud, but closer. Colby walks over and looks, "There's no one out here dude. That was so loud, though."
"I'd say they were more than scared, sweetheart." Dean walks over and lifts up the loose wallpaper, revealing names that were scratched into the wall behind it, "Even the guards would mistreat the women who were held here."
"And he never got caught? How many years did he do this for?" Colby asks slightly confused, "like no one ever thought of check on the missing women from the town that's right down over the hill?" He laughs and looks at Sam who nods, "Right like you'd think that."
As they talk, you think for few moments quietly before tilting your head, "When we walk in, I could have swore I heard a whisper and now that I see this.." you walk over and bend down, "It was definitely Izzie."
"No fucking way." Sam says and walks over, showing the wall to the camera, "so like right when you walked in it was like bam someone whispering Izzie?"
You stand up and look at him, "I swear to god. I thought maybe I brushed against something like my jacket did.." you scratch your jacket off the wall, "but no. It was clearly a whisper."
"Oh my god." Colby says dragging it out slightly, "This is crazy."
"There's two more rooms you need to see, one of them being the basement." Dean motions for you guys to follow him and you make your way to the master bedroom.
"So this is where he stayed most of the time?" Sam asks, "With these prostitutes or whatever?"
Dean nods, "Yep, yeah he basically lived in here and right.." he pauses and walks over to the window and points on the ground, "..over here. Is where he shot himself."
"So wait.." you point to the window and walk over, looking out with a gasp, "oh my god." You look out at the spot you stood in when you seen the apparition in the window.
"Correct." Dean says and turns, "He would bring the women in here one at a time, do what he promised them lots of money to do and then they'd just never leave."
"That's dark, man. Sad too." Colby frowns and shakes his head. Dean nods, "So the other girls caught on pretty quick as to what was happening."
"I can't imagine the fear that was brought onto them as they waited to just die basically." Sam looks around amd Dean points to you, "If you want to try contacting him. You'll probably have the best luck. Lay on the bed if you feel brave enough."
Your heart sinks, "Oh shit, I don't think-" you look at the door quickly, but whatever was there vanishes, "the door way. Someone is watching us."
You walk over, looking out but nothing else is there. You turn back towards them, camera on you, "It's really cold right here."
"You're the first to honestly say they saw something in this room." Dean says and you raise your eyebrows, "Really?"
"Does he move around a lot or does he mainly stay in this room?" Colby asks but jumps when there's footsteps in the hallway. You lean back and shake your head, "Nothing."
"I've had people come in and say there's many, many spirits here." Dean points, "but the one I get feedback on most on the time is the basement. Lots say it's the worst, and I'll show you why." He motions for you to follow him.
Sam cuts the camera off, "I think you may be right, y/n." You walk with him and Colby as you follow the others, "We definitely underestimated this place." You look between them and walks down the steps.
As you approach the slightly skinny basement door, Sam starts recording as Dean turns to you, "You might not like it down here." He looks the door and he reveals a, very unsettling, dark stair well.
You turn and give the camera a fake crying face, "Oh no."
"There are no lights, we did put lights in, but they must not like them, so you have to use flashlights so be careful coming down." Dean says and everyone pulls their phones out and switches the flash on.
Dean and his sons go down first and you and the boys follow, "Hold on, I just want to see how dark it is." Sam switches off the light and everyone covers their lights, "Oh fucking hell."
You immediately grab onto Colby's jacket and his hand immediately goes to the side of your leg, both keeping a hold of each other until Sam turns the light back on. Colby laughs, "that's the, you can't see your hand in front of your face dark."
"Now, keep that in mind because down here.." Dean pauses, "They only had candles for light down here I'm pretty sure.."
You reach the bottom and your heart feels like it's working overtime. You feel dizzy, grabbing onto the first thing you could, Colby's arm, to not fall back.
"Whoa." He wraps an arm around your waist and you nod, "Dean.. let me tell you something.." you laugh slightly and point at him.
He nods, "You don't like it down here do you?" You shake your head, "Not at all." Your eyes scan over what you can see of the old jail cells.
You felt pain and sadness, and just flat out awful.
"Down here, they kept at least twenty more women at a time, five to a cell." Riley points, "Right above the last cell over there, is where the five upstairs were, so that cell you could hear almost everything, because there's a vent, for whatever reason."
"Did they make that vent so they could hear the screams and shit on purpose or?" Sam asks looking over towards the cell.
Dean nods, "I mean, it's very possible because it's literally just a straight shot, so. I wouldn't have put it past him, he was-"
A bottle rolls down the steps and you close your eyes, "No, no, no." You laugh nervously, "There's no fucking way."
"Are you kidding me right now?" Sam turns to Colby, "We didn't even start the investigation yet and a fucking bottle.. rolls down the steps?"
Colby's eyes are wide and his mouth is open, "Did you catch that?" Sam nods, "then sound and then maybe the end of it coming down." He sighs, "Oh what the hell did we get ourselves into?"
"I don't know but I'm scared." You admit, "This isn't going to be easy." You say into the camera and Colby crosses his arms, "What would they do down here exactly? To these women that were just held here waiting?"
Dean shrugs, "All of it.. and right over there around the wall of the stairs." He points and walks you guys over, "He had the women who, in the words of what I read and was told, couldn't please him like he wanted, tortured for hours on hours I guess."
"What did they do with the bodies? Do you know if they buried them or.." Sam asks and Dean shifts around slightly, "I just got a chill, but um.."
"Wait you just got a chill?" Colby steps forward, "It doesn't feel any different to me so that's creepy."
Dean chuckles, "Yeah, so anyway.. it was rumored they tried to cremate them theirselves, but I don't think it worked out, but when we were trying to clear some stuff out around the house, there was a well that was discovered and it had human bones in it, but no one really knows what happened to them they just vanished one day and no one asked questions."
"So there is a lot of pent up negative energy surrounding this manor." One of the guys says, but you're not focused on who. You shake your head, "Some just want to be free." You look at Sam and Colby, "Something is keeping them here and I think I know who it is."
"Oh god." Sam yells and jumps forward, spinning around really quick, "Something just grabbed my shoulder, swear to god."
"You good, man?" Colby walks up to him, and Sam nods, "Yes, yes. That just scared the shit out of me. Like I was just standing here and it felt like someone did this to me. But lightly." He demonstrates by grabbing Colby's shoulder.
"That may happen a lot more when we leave." Dean says and motions with his light to go back up.
Once you make it back outside, he turns towards the house, "Just keep reminding them why you are here and that you're the ones in control."
"Will that actually work?" Sam looks at Dean and he nods, "It'll definitely work for him." He points to Colby and you smile as you remember someone else telling Colby he's intimidating.
"I have been told that I intimidate spirits so.. that's my house now." He makes his voice strained, "No, im kidding. He laughs and Dean shakes his head, "No that's exactly it. Show you're in control and you should be fine."
"Should be, that's not too selling there, Dean." Sam says and looks at Colby. He shrugs, "I mean, it works for me."
"Well, good luck and if you're still here, I'll see you in the morning."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
After getting the equipment from the car and talking for a little bit, it's almost dark so the three of you agree it's best to just start since you were already getting so much activity already.
"You good?" Colby asks as he sets up some stuff, getting it ready. You look up, "Yeah." You let out breathy laugh, "I'm nervous, but otherwise good."
"Oh shit." You hear Sam yell from outside, "No fucking way." You and Colby look at each other and run out, "What? what?" Colby asks going over to him.
You follow behind and he points, "I think I saw what you saw earlier, y/n. I turned the camera on but by the time I looked up, it was gone."
"Yeah, like it only wants you to see it, if it lets you." You run your hands over your face, "Okay so I think we should try and get something before we're basically chased out of here."
You come to regret saying those words, later on.
"Okay, yeah. So the living room area? See if we can get in touch with someone who worked here?" Colby says and Sam nods, "Let's do it."
As you walk up to the door, you turn around and look at Colby, "Did you just whistle?" He shakes his head, "No that wasn't me, was it you?" He points to Sam and he shakes his head, "No."
"There's a light whistle, but it sounded like it was right behind me." You close your eyes and shake your head, "Oh god."
"It's alright. Come on." Colby leads you into the living area and you stand over to the coffee table and set down the EMF, waiting for Sam and Colby to come in.
"Okay. Ill put a flashlight on the mantle here and-"
A loud knock cuts Sam off, "Did you hear that?" His eyes move between you and Colby and you both nod. He lets out a sigh, "Alright."
He starts rolling, "So we are here in the living room area of the Hellriegel Manor, and we've been hearing knocks.."
"A bottle rolled down the basement stairs, this place is absolutely insane already, but now we're here and we're going to start by asking some simple questions." Colby takes the camera from Sam so he can lay a flashlight on the mantle like he said, "We have just a regular flashlight here and then we have the EMF over there by y/n."
You switch it on and move away from it, "Do you want me to start?"
Immediately both the flashlight and the EMF lights up green. Sam and Colby both yell out, "Oh fuck dude."
You freeze, "Um. Okay. My name is y/n. I come with peace and just wanting to find out the truth about what happened here. Is there just one of you talking to us right now?"
You wait a few moments and as soon as you look at Colby it lights up red and the flashlight switches off.
Your eyes go wide as you look at Sam. His eyes search the floor as he thinks, "My name is Sam, I too come with peace, I just want to ask, are you trapped here?"
Colby moves the camera from the EMF to the flashlight, "Y/n. Repeat what Sam asked."
"Are you trapped here?" You ask and it's an immediate green light, no flashlight, "Am I speaking to one person now?"
Red light. Flashlight turns on making all of you gasp and yell. Colby shakes his head, "Dean was right, they must be drawn to her more than us."
Switches green and the flashlight stays on.
"That wasn't even a ques-" something falling from a shelf makes you jump and you bolt in between them, "Oh Jesus Christ."
"I'm Colby. I also come with peace. Was that you that just knocked that stuff over?" A few moments go by and nothing.
"If that was you, can you do it again, please?" You grip Colby's arm, "the hairs on the back of my neck just stood up." He looks down at you, "really?" You nod and Sam brings his hand up behind you, "It's literally only cold right here."
Suddenly you're pushed away from Colby, not hard, but enough to make you lean back.
"Did you just get pushed?" Colby asks, "You pulled me with you tha-"
What sounds like empty tin cans, hit the floor and roll, stopping in the entry way of the living room.
"Thank you." You say, "Am I speaking to the original owner of this house?" You let go of Colby and walk over to the doorway.
"Y/n, stay close please. This house is too un-" Colby gets cut off by the EMF lighting up red.
"Are you saying no to y/n's question?" Sam asks quickly and it flashes red. Your eyes go wide and you make your way back over to them, "Do you want me to stay close to Sam and Colby?"
Flashes red and the flash light turns on.
"Fuck me." You lay a hand on your face and the emf lifts up green.
"No." Colby says almost immediately, "You can't have her."
Flashes green and the flash light stays on.
You look at them, "I have to ask if it's him."
Flashes green again and the flash light goes off.
"Dude this is fucking wild, oh my god." Sam runs a hand through his hair, "Are you okay?" He looks at you and you nod, "Yeah, I'm good."
"I have a very important question for you." You move over and sit in the one chair, "Am I speaking to Callum Hellreigel?"
Lights up red and you feel kind of relieved until you see a shadow move on the stairs, "Fuck, the stairs. Something just went up."
"Are you going upstairs?" Colby asks and waits patiently. The EMF goes off and it's red, "Are you one of the women who were lured here and promised money?"
Lights up green.
"Is anyone else with you?" Sam asks and rests his hand against his chin.
Lights up green.
Just as Colby is getting ready to ask something you stand up, "Something just.." you point up and shake your head, "I just heard come on. Like something said come on."
"Is that you Callum? Are you trying to lure y/n up stairs?" Colby hands the camera back to Sam and looks over at you, no response.
"Okay, so they definitely move around." Sam sighs, "Fuck man. Y/n. How are you feeling?" You look over at them slowly, "Oh I'm great." You stand up, "Maybe we should move.."
"Where to next?" Sam asks and you walk over to them, "Upstairs. I don't think he killed himself."
They're both taken aback by what you said and Colby shakes his head, "Do you feel something towards that?"
You nod, "I have this.. uneasy feeling in my stomach and I get chills thinking about it. I don't think he shot himself."
The EMF reader lights up green and you jump slightly, "Fuck." Sam looks around, "Did you kill your self Callum?"
Nothing.
Colby repeats Sam's question exactly, nothing.
They both look at you, along with the camera and you take a deep breath and shake your head, "get the spirit box."
Sam stops recording, "That's a good idea. Where do you want to set up?"
Colby walks over to you and lays his hands on your arms, "You good to keep going?" You nod, "Yeah I need to find out what happened, I'm nosey." You laugh slightly and lean around to look at Sam, "Maybe top of the steps?"
He nods and you grab the equipment and look at the steps. Your eyes move up and down, getting a weird feeling about it, "Wait." You stop Sam and point to the floor at the bottom of the steps.
Colby starts recording and Sam sets it down, "let me just turn it on." He turns it on and a soft white noise fills the area.
Sam motions to you and you bite your lip, debating on which question to ask.
".. Up .."
"Yo, no." Sam covers his mouth and Colby laughs nervously, "No fucking way."
"Do you want us to go up the stairs?" You ask and chew on your nail.
".. Wall .. name.."
"Are you asking about the names on the wall in the room where the women were held?" Colby asks, "Did you whisper Izzie to y/n when we went in there earlier?"
A soft, 'y/n' is whispered behind you and you let out a slight yell, "Fuck, no. Someone just said my name."
"..Yes.."
"Callum was that you?" You close your eyes and shake it, letting out quiet, high toned "oh shit."
"Bed."
"Do you want us to go to the bedroom? Callum's room?" Colby asks rubbing his eyebrow and pulls you to him when you all clear as day hear,
"Just... her.."
"You can't have her." Sam says looking around, "You can't have any one anymore, do you hear me?"
".. Blood.. shed .."
"Doesn't mean blood shed, like bleeding or?" Colby asks Sam and he shakes his head, "I don't know, man."
"So scared."
"I know you're scared." You say and nothing else comes through.
"Why do you want y/n?" Colby asks moving the camera around, "Are you scared of us? I promise we mean no harm to any of you."
".. Pretty... girl .."
"do you guys feel okay?" You fan yourself, "I just got really hot all of a sudden." Colby hands the camera to Sam and feels your forehead, "You feel cold to me."
You're suddenly pushed backwards away from Colby's touch, "Fuck." He says pulling you over to Sam. He turns from recording the stairs, "What happened? What?"
Colby sighs, "She just got pushed again, dude."
"Maybe we should just go up." You close your eyes as Colby instantly disagrees, "Mm. No."
Sam cuts the camera off, "Colby. If she thinks she can-"
"We don't know what we're dealing with here, Sam. I'm not going to send her into a room alone." Colby argues.
".. Stop .."
"Stop what?" You ask and Sam turns the camera on, "So.. Colby felt y/n's head because she said she was hot and when he did that, y/n got pu-" a loud thud is heard from up stairs and Sam quickly turns the spirit box off and turns the camera to you guys, "Did you hear that?"
You nod, "Almost like.. a body falling onto the floor."
"That's what I was thinking." Coby says nodding.
Sam waits a few seconds more before picking up where he left off in a whisper, "So basically, whatever is here doesn't like us being close to y/n."
"Dean did say that she might be the target for tonight, just because of all the history with this place." Colby says.
"I think we should just do it because it's either his room or the basement and I'll tell you right now I'm not ready to go back down there yet." You chew on your cheek, "So let's just go up there and hit those rooms up there."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
There was a sudden decrease in activity in the other rooms but it quickly picked up when you moved back towards the bedroom.
"I think we should put the REM pod where Dean said he was shot." Sam suggests and you nod, "Yeah. That's good."
You have this feelings that something is watching you, and no it's not just Colby.
"Sam." Colby says, "You don't think.."
Sam stands up after checking the pod, "What?" Colby nods towards me, lowing his voice, "You don't think he's.. targeting her because of me do you?"
Sam glances at you and shrugs, "So you're admitting to liking her then?"
Colby sighs, "Yes, Sam. I'm admitting to it finally." He smiles but shakes his head, "That's not the point, how are we going to do this without any danger coming to her?"
"Why don't we just ask him?" You step forward, "You can be right outside the door."
Colby shakes his head, "No."
There's a loud bang and you jump, "Colbs. I got this. If anything happens, you'll be right outside." Sam starts rolling the camera, "So we are now in the room where Callum supposedly shot himself and y/n has decided to lay in Callum Hellreigel's very own bed. Alone."
Sam turns the camera to you, "How are you feeling?" You take a deep breath, "it is what it is right?" You shrug, but Colby didn't like that answer.
"I'll be fine." You hold two thumbs up and Sam points the camera at Colby, "Wanna tell them what we're doing?"
Colby clears his throat as he holds up the EMF, "We are going to set up y/n with the EMF as well, and she'll ask yes or no questions and hopefully we can get some answers.."
"Then we'll come back in after a little while and set up the spirit box, maybe catch something on that? I don't know how you guys feel about that.." Sam trails off and you nod, "Sounds good."
Colby's whole demeanor changed since you said you'll stay in the room by yourself. You keep looking at him, and he looks at you, but he has worry in his eyes.
"Alight so we're just going to put this in the corner here.." Sam says as he sets up the camera on the one stand, angled towards the bed and window.
Colby walks up to you, cupping your cheeks, "Anything, and I mean anything happens, yell, scream and we'll be here."
You nod, laying a hand on his, "I can handle this." You jump and Sam yells as something falls outside of the room, "What the fuck. That sounded like something massive."
"Shit." Colby says taking his hands away, "Sorry. Sorry." He holds his hands up and steps back from you. Your eyes move around the room as you make your way over to the bed, sitting criss cross, "See you soon."
"You're sure?" Sam asks one last time. You take a deep breath, "Yes." Colby's eyes are on you until Sam fully shuts the door, leaving you in the darkened silence, alone.
"Callum Hellriegel." You call out, "If you're here, can you go over and touch that little box that's on the floor for me?"
The red light flashes, indicating no on the EMF.
"Am I talking to someone else?" Your eyes scan around the room, taking slow deep breathes as you try to get used to the dark, no answer, "I should’ve stayed home." You joke quietly to yourself,  "Is this where you wanted me?"
Instant green light.
You chew on your cheek as a chill washes over your body, "Fuck." You rest your hands on your head, "Did you kill all those women, Callum?"
Instant green light and the REM pod goes off.
"Did you kill them because they couldn't please you?" You rest your hand on your cheek and jump slightly when the EMF goes red.
"Did you kill them beca-" The EMF flashes red over and over again, "Stop!" You say loudly and it's soon followed by a loud bang on the window.
"Holy fuck." You sigh and place a hand on your chest, "Do you want us to bring the spirit box in so you can talk?"
Instant green light.
"Callum Hellreigel.. did you kill your self?" Your eyes move from the REM pod to the EMF, waiting for something, "Did someone else do it?"
Instant green light.
"Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Okay, okay. Was it someone who worked for you?"
Instant red light.
"Was it one of the prostitutes?"
Instant green light.
"Is there anyone else here?"
Instant green light and you suddenly feel like you're being choked. You try to yell out as loud as you can, "C-Colby!" You feel the pressure on your neck vanish and you start coughing as soon as the boys bust through the door.
Colby is right next to you, "What? What? Y/n. Talk to me."
You're gasping for air still as you try to comprehend what just happened.
Sam brings the camera over, almost dropping it when he sees the finger marks on your neck.
"Holy fuck- Colby." Sam moves your hair to show the camera, "Oh my god. Are you okay? Oh fuck."
Colby's eyes are glued to your neck, "Can you breathe? Are you okay?"
"I-I.." you clear your throat, rubbing your hand over the prints, "I believe.. I was talking to Callum, and then I asked if anyone else was here and it went to yes and then i just suddenly felt like I was being choked."
"What the fuck, okay let's just get out of this room, I don't.." Sam sighs and shakes his head, "I don't like this."
As you're gathering the equipment and getting ready to walk out, you're pushed into Sam causing him to stumble a step forward, "That wasn't me." You say quickly as he turns around, "are you okay?"
Colby shuts the door with a slam and sighs, "This is fucking insane.. I can't believe this happened."
"Did you hear that?" You look down the steps, "Something just moved into the living room."
Sam points the camera, the light shining down and there's nothing there, "What the fuck, what the fuck?!"
"Shh. Shh." You shush Sam and look around, "I thought I heard whispering."
Colby lays a hand on your back, "Let's go outside, talk about what happened and then we can figure out what we wanna do."
Colby was just worried about getting you out without anymore damage.
You make your way outside, camera still rolling, bending down to the ground, "Oh my god."
"Okay. So y/n.. she got attacked basically and we're trying to figure out why. She's okay. She's okay.. it's just.. " Sam keeps the camera off of you until you stand back up, "Fuck."
"So." You walk over to them, using your hand to hide your neck from the camera, "As soon as you guys left, it was.. weird, it was fucking weird." You laugh slightly and shake your head, "I asked if it was him. Said no. Then I asked if it was someone else, no answer and then I asked if I was where they wanted me and that was an instant green light."
"What if.. what if it's not Callum?" Colby looks between you and Sam and Sam gasps, "One of the women?"
You hold your hand up, "Oh just wait. So then I asked if he killed all those women. Instant green light. I then asked if it was because they couldn't please him and it said no."
"Wait, y/n.. Did you tell stop at one point?" Sam asks and you nod, "The red light kept flashing over and over, so then I told it to stop and then it sounded like something hit the window. Hard. It was loud."
"Wait what?" Colby looks to Sam, "Did you hear anything?" Sam shakes his head, "I thought I heard her yell stop but it was much quieter than she says she yelled."
"Do you think.. wait.." Colby looks at you, "Izzie. That's what was whispered to you right?" You nod and he shrugs, "What if she killed him?"
"That's actually something that very well could have happened.. He favorited her maybe and she developed this jealously? Oh my god, the story just keeps unraveling." Sam points the camera back to you and you continue, "I asked if they wanted us to bring the sprit box in and it said yes. It also said yes to me asking if someone else killed him.." you look between them, "..and to if it was one of the prositutes."
"Yo, no. Are you fucking serious!?" Sam's mouth drops, "Is said yes to that?"
You nod, "Sure did."
"Izzie probably is intimidated by you." Colby says, "I think we have this all wrong." You run your hand over your head, "Mhm. But it was like not even a second after the light went green I felt this pressure around my neck and I couldn't move. I wasn't even sure if you guys heard me calling."
"I heard you scream Colby, a lot louder than when you yelled stop." Sam shakes his head, "If I would have known we would have came in.." he looks at Colby, "They said about the spirit box.."
Colby shakes his head and looks at you as Sam moves the camera onto you, "I think we should just take a break, give them time to settle, if they will." You suggest and Sam nods, "That's a good idea."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
The whole time you guys took a break, Colby hasn't left your side as you guys discussed and agreed on what you were doing.
He found himself glancing at your neck every so often, wondering if him putting up more of a fight would have kept you safe.
"Colby.." you whisper, "Colbs." You finally get his attention, "Stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Not your fault. I chose to go in there." You lay a hand on his cheek, "Okay?"
He nods, not really convincing you but you go with it as Sam walks over, "Are you ready?" He looks at you and you nod, taking Colby's hand in yours, "Yeah. We're ready."
"Anything else happens and I'm throwing you over my shoulder and taking you out of there myself." He whispers low into your ear as sam walks towards the house.
You smile slightly, "Don't threaten me with a good time."
He keeps his arm around you until you reach the front door. He walks in but you stop, staring up the steps, "Sam. Don't move."
Colby looks between you, Sam and the steps, "What?" He whispers quietly and you point slightly, "There's a woman.." you raise your voice, "Izzie?"
The figure you see turns from the top of the steps and goes into Callum's room.
"We need to do the spirit box."
You make your way up to the room and Colby walks in first. Then you, then Sam. The REM pod gets put on the floor, and turned on. Sam backs away from it and you take a deep breath.
"We mean no harm to anyone that is here." You say and look around, "Izzie. If you were the one that choked me, can you touch that box on the floor over by the window?"
You close your eyes as soon as it lights up.
"Fucking shit dude." Sam says pointing the camera to you. You open your eyes and step towards the bed, "Did you get jealous of the other girls? Make that light up for me if you were."
You look over at Sam and Colby, who are whispering stuff to each other, and back to the pod as it lights up.
"one more time if you want us to turn on the spirit box." You run a hand through your hair and turn back to them as it lights up a few times in a row.
Colby takes the camera and Sam grabs the box, walking over and setting it on the window sill, "You will be able to talk to us using this box here."
Colby moves over closer to you and Sam and as soon as Sam flips it on, "Why did you choke y/n?"
".. doesn't... belong.."
"She doesn't belong here in general or doesn't belong to Callum?" Colby continues and you chew on your nail as you wait patiently.
".. not.. his..."
"Can you tell us who isn't his? Are you talking about Callum?" Sam interjects, "Y/n doesn't belong to Callum."
"..Mine.. my doing.."
"Are we talking to Izzie or Callum?" You rest your hand on your cheek, "Can you please tell me who we are talking to?"
".. Colby.." 
"What the hell?" Colby groans and laughs slightly, "Can you tell me who I'm talking to?" He asks giving the camera to Sam, "I'm right here."
".. not.. yours.."
You look at Sam then go to Colby.
"..out.. out.. Izzie.."
"Did you kill Callum, Izzie?" Sam asks, "Was it you who shot him in front of the window?"
" .. y/n.. stay .."
You let out a quick scream as something grabs your arm, "No. I'm not staying. You cannot have me." The same bang on the window that happened while you were alone, happens again.
Colby aims the camera to the window, "fuck, what was th-"
".. keep her safe .."
"We are keeping her safe." Colby says as he pulls you in between him and Sam, "Do not touch her. Do not touch us."
You look around, "Shit." You jump, "Izzie. Leave."
" .. Sam .. "
"Okay no. No that's.. no.." Sam laughs nervously, "Do you want us to leave?"
" .. Colby ... and Sam .. "
"Alright we're done." Colby hands the camera back to Sam and turns off the box, "I don't think Callum is a demon. I think Izzie has some jealousy to figure out and she won't be doing that with you." He looks at you and you nod, "Fine."
"That was fucking insane, dude. What the actual fuck was that?" Sam shakes his head, unable to comprehend what just happened.
You hear another whisper as you turn towards the door, "did you hear that?" Sam and Colby stop talking and go quiet as they listen.
You turn towards them, "Please don't go is what I just heard.."
"We're going." Sam and Colby say in unison which makes you all kinda laugh, fear still in overdrive. You spin in a slow circle, "Whatever is in this room, this house, who ever you are, you cannot follow us out of this house. You cannot follow us home. You can not come with us."
As Sam bends down to pick up the REM, Colby lays his hand on your back but you wince and gasp, "What the fuck?"
"What?" Colby asks looking over you, "What happened?"
"Lift my shirt." You turn back around and Sam comes over with the camera, the light on top shining onto your back.
Colby slides your shirt up, "We're done. That's two fucking scratches l, Sam." He looks at Sam and you turn around, "Two?!"
As soon as you stand all the way up, you get dizzy and stumble back slightly into the wall. You suddenly feel like your emotions aren't yours anymore and you feel tears welling up in your eyes.
Flashes of a woman in a long dress and a man undressing her appear in your mind. 
She's screaming. Crying. There's two more guys, but they're standing in the corners, watching it happen.
You feel like you're seeing someone else's vision until everything goes black and you start to regain the imagine of Colby and Sam standing in front of you.
"Y/n.. hey." You hear Colby say as he shakes you gently, "Y/n. Hey where'd you go?"
Your head snaps up to him, "What?" You look around, shaking your head, "I don't.. what just.."
"You weren't you." Sam says, "You went back into the wall and then you were in a stare, Colby tried for like two minutes to get you to look up."
"We.." your chest rises and falls quickly, "I'm so scared right now." A loud thump on the wall behind you rattles the room and you high tail it out of there.
Down the steps and out the door as Sam and Colby follow you.
"Y/n. Hey, hey wait." Colby yells, "Y/n." He walks up to you and takes you into his arms. You freak out for a second until you realize it's him and you let your body fall into his.
"Is she okay?" Sam asks running up, "What the fuck just happened?"
Colby shrugs, "I have no idea. But I see why they don't just let anyone in here."
He looks down at you, arms still tightly around you, "Hey. You're okay. I got you." You tilt your head up, slowly looking back at the building.
You let out a slight laugh, "Did I.. just.. did I just get possessed or something?"
They're both looking at you worried, "I saw a woman.. screaming as a man was taking off her dress and two other men in the corners were watching.. I don't.. was that.."
"We don't have an answer for that, but what I do know is that we're getting far from this place as possible." Colby lets you go as you stand up straight.
You look at Colby and point your finger at him, "Remember what I said to you last night, about us probably having been through worse?"
Colby nods as his hands move up and down your arm.
"Well, this is worse." You laugh anxiously, tears welling up into your eyes again, "What the fuck was that?"
"We're going home. It's okay." Colby wraps his arms around you, "Sam, can you drive home?" Sam yells out a quick 'yeah' as he packs the trunk back up.
"Come on. We're going home."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Thinking of maybe doing a part 2? Not sure yet, maybe like the aftermath of the Hellriegel Manor?
Likes and reblogs are appreciated!
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mrs-kmikaelson · 8 months
Text
Our Song and Dance³
Pairing: Finnick Odair x reader Summary: You'd grown used to dancing the same dance over and over again, the victor's dance, but then you start dancing with Finnick Odair and you feel things you never thought you'd feel. So you let yourself enjoy the dance, even though you knew that every song inevitably came to an end. Warnings: long, exploitation of minors, mentions of forced prostitution, suicidal thoughts, implied torture, violence, complicated relationships, complex mental health issues, and i involve finnick more in everything Words: 8.1K
Masterlist | Part 4
a/n: switching it up, so this part is from finnick's pov. it's basically mockingjay one, then i'll do one more part for mockingjay 2. ly guys!
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Finnick Odair was not sure that love existed. Or, at least he wasn’t. He could barely remember what his parents looked like, let alone if they loved each other. But he had Mags; she proved to him that love existed because he loved her. It was the falling in love that he was unsure about.
And then he met Annie Cresta and it was like he suddenly understood. Yes, this was what the poets were talking about. This was love. 
But they couldn’t be together.
He was being sold off all the time, taking countless visits to the Capitol. He couldn’t endanger her like that, let her get involved in the fucked up world he lived in. So he didn’t. He loved her from afar, knowing they’d never really be together.
He thought it’d end there, but then one night, he saw you. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was all his own will, but he walked up to you. He’d seen you at these events before, back home, and on TV, but standing there so close to you, it was like it was just hitting him how beautiful you were.
You were a victor, too. But he realized just how alike you were when he watched as you left a hotel room, in the same state as him. After that, it was you who took a chance on him until he almost looked forward to coming to the Capitol, just to see you.
You weren’t Annie. You didn’t remind him of what poets had written. No, he couldn’t describe you or what you meant to him in just words. What he grew to feel for you over time wasn’t akin to anything he’d ever read. This was so much more than that.
He loved Annie, he always would, but being with you made him realize what it was like to be in love.
But he never told you this, never said any of it out loud out of fear that he’d lose you.
Now he lost you, anyway.
The doors to his hospital room opened. He knew it was Katniss, but he didn’t say anything, staring right at the ground in front of him.
If he looked hard enough, he could see your face.
“Finnick.”
He looked up from his feet, but still didn’t look at her. He already knew what she looked like, and it wasn’t much better than him.
She was mad at him. She’d barely spoken to him since they got to 13, but he knew that she couldn’t have been much more mad at him than he already was at himself.
His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I wanted to go back for them—for Peeta, and Johanna, and Y/N… but I- I couldn’t move.” He twiddled his fingers with the rope in his hands, wishing it was your hand he was holding, but he wasn’t. You weren’t there. He left you.
He finally looked up at Katniss. She looked both emotionless and so emotional at the same time, lifeless but alive. “I- I love her, y’know?” He looked back down at the knot he was tying, sniffling involuntarily.
He was trying to keep it together, but without you, that was like trying to fix a broken glass without any glue. 
You were the glue that held him together.
And now the Capitol had you.
The words left his lips without much thought. “I wish she was dead.” He chose to stare at a spot on the ground instead of looking at Katniss’ reaction. His chest tightened. “I wish they were all dead and we were, too.”
If they had died, then at least they wouldn’t have been going through this, having to live but feeling so dead, anyway.
Katniss was silent until he eventually heard her leave the room.
There were words she didn’t say that still floated around the room, agreement that she didn’t voice. She was just as broken as him, holding on for dear life. He hoped that she’d keep holding on.
He had to have hope. He had to have hope that he’d see you again, that this wasn’t all for nothing, that they could build a better world that you could both live in. He needed to hope.
That hope was the only thing that kept him holding on, too.
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He was in the cafeteria, sitting next to Katniss and Annie when it happened. The fanfare started playing, Caesar Flickerman’s face coming to the screen. He scoffed, tuning out and looking back down at the food on his plate, swishing it around. Recently, it had been hard for him to work up an appetite.
He looked back up when Katniss grabbed his hand, hers trembling. He soon realized why.
It was Peeta, on the Capitol TV.
Katniss got up, walking to the TV and standing right in front of it, shocked. He would’ve gotten up and followed her, tried to console her, but it was as if he was paralyzed.
Peeta was on the TV.
And you were nowhere in sight.
He heard the conversation that had everyone on the edge of their seat through muffled ears. Peeta didn’t look exactly like himself, but he still looked like the golden boy Panem fell in love with. It was so obvious that the Capitol was using him, playing him like a puppet, but what confused him was that they were using him and not the much more powerful weapon they had in their arsenal.
You were the Princess of Panem. Plutarch and Coin knew that; that’s why they wanted you. Katniss could light a fire, but if they also had you, then together you could cause an explosion. If the Capitol wanted to sway public opinion, why wouldn’t they just use you, someone who the people trusted and adored?
Suddenly, his stomach fell.
If they weren’t using you, then it was because you weren’t in a condition to be shown to the public.
He felt a hand on his, turning his head to see it was Annie, looking at him with a sympathetic expression. As if she could hear his thoughts, the smallest of sad smiles grew on her lips.  “It’s gonna be okay, Finnick,” she whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
How the tables had turned. Now it was her assuring him.
In that moment, he understood Annie like never before.
Because he wasn’t so sure she was right.
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After Peeta’s interview, Finnick didn’t leave his room much. He’d lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, pretending that you were there with him. He could withstand the silence if he had you by his side.
But now, the silence was deafening.
Sometimes, he didn’t hear a thing. Other times, your voice would fill the gaps, memories of you flashing before his eyes like a movie. Sometimes, they weren’t memories at all. Sometimes, he imagined a different life for you where you were both happy, in love.
And, sometimes, he imagined what they could’ve been doing to you in the Capitol.
Whenever these awake-nightmares got too vivid, he’d find Katniss and sit with her, knowing she must have been going through the same thing. It was what you would’ve done, what you did with him and Johanna.
You wouldn’t have wanted them to suffer alone.
The next time he was around everyone else, it was per Coin’s request. She announced to them all that Katniss agreed to be The Mockingjay and that, in return, she’d look for an opportunity to extract you, the victors that had been taken.
Katniss moved next to him. “Finnick, I made the deal for Y/N, too.”
It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Hope—this was hope.
“Good,” he said. For the first time since he left the arena, he smiled. “That’s good, Katniss.” A small chuckle left him.
Maybe he’d get a chance to make those dreams of his a reality.
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With a newfound ardour, Finnick threw himself back into the ring instead of avoiding the fight like he had been, sitting in on meetings and doing whatever he could to make this work. He would see you again; he’d make sure of it. 
He went with the propo team to 8, watching as the Girl on Fire did exactly what they’d all been waiting for her to do. He wasn’t the only one that was hopeful—so were people in the districts, the people in 13.
They played her propo at the next assembly. The crowd cheered, but as he stood with The Mockingjay herself on the sidelines, she didn’t look so cheerful. Finnick understood this, he understood it well, but he couldn’t afford to think like that with your life hanging in the balance.
She shouldn’t have to either, he thought.
He leaned closer to her, quizzing, “You don’t like hearing a fight song at a funeral, huh?” She looked up at him almost in the same way she did when he made that joke in the arena. At the memory of your response, a small smile arose on his face. “The more people on our side, the closer we are to Peeta and Y/N,” he reminded her.
She nodded, muttering, “Yeah,” and then turning back to the crowd. She didn’t look so convinced, but he left it there, knowing she was coping with this in her own way.
If Katniss loved Peeta even half as much as he loved you, then he’d let her do whatever she felt comfortable with.
But at the end of the day, it was love that kept them both going.
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The next time Peeta was on TV, it was a wake up call for everyone. He didn’t look so refined anymore, so clean. There were bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.
If this was what Peeta looked like and they still had him on TV, then what about you? 
A bile rose in his throat. He ran to the nearest trash can and threw up whatever they served that morning for breakfast, your face flashing underneath his eyelids. You weren’t smiling like in the dreams he had, but screaming.
He knew you weren’t dead, that the Capitol wouldn’t kill you, but when he pictured your face, you didn’t look so alive.
Oh, he wished he could’ve made you smile more. But in the world you lived in, sometimes it was too hard to even do that.
That’s why we’re doing this, he reminded himself. We’re trying to build a better world. But there were no words that Coin could say to shake the guilt he felt, guilt for leaving you, guilt for being the reason this happened to you. There was no band-aid he could put over this wound, no pills that could kill this pain.
But he had to push through it, and he couldn’t do that by sitting in his room by himself; every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. So he went to Katniss’ room, finding her in a position so similar to his own.
That was the man she loved on TV, even if she hadn’t come to terms with her feelings. She must have been just as guilty as him, if not more so. Finnick could remember a time when he rejected his feelings for you, too, scared of caring for somebody, scared of this happening.
He went through the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell, being sold when he was only sixteen, but falling in love with you was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced.
If that’s how Katniss felt, then he didn’t want her to be alone, not when she reminded him so much of you.
So he sat next to her in silence, letting all of the words he wanted to say hang in the air, hoping that she heard them. They sat there wordlessly until Gale came in, telling them it was time to go, that they were going to 12.
It was only when he was about to leave that he finally spoke, deciding that these were words he had to make sure that she heard, words that he needed to hear, too.
“We’re gonna get them back, Katniss.” 
She looked at him, forming somewhat of a smile and nodding. After staring at her for a few seconds, he left the room, going to get ready.
She didn’t know it, but the entire hovercraft ride on the way to 12, he repeated those same exact words to himself over and over again.
We’re gonna get them back.
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While nothing could really ease Finnick’s worries, seeing the people fight back certainly helped. The revolution was picking up traction. The videos they shot in 12 had moved people so much that they were willing to put themselves at risk, just out of hope for a better Panem.
If they could do that, then he could, too.
He wondered if you knew about any of this, if you were even aware of what was happening or if the Capitol was just keeping you in the dark. Did you know? Did you hear Katniss sing?
Did it remind you of him the same way it reminded him of you?
He had so many questions, and so little answers.
Rebels in district 5 bombed a hydroelectric dam, cutting power in the Capitol. Not long after, Peeta Mellark was back on TV, talking about it. He no longer even looked like himself. He didn’t look like a victor, but like someone who had lost.
But Finnick supposed that was what a victor was.
Beetee managed to get through the Capitol’s firewall, cutting Peeta off with Katniss’ propo. They watched as tears filled his eyes on screen.
That was the first time he looked like himself.
Are you, are you comin’ to the tree?
He faltered. “Katniss?”
Finnick watched as Katniss got closer to the screen, shaking her head. She saw it, too. She saw the man that went into that arena with them.
But then, like a victor would, his mask went back up so quickly. 
“The attack on the dam was a callous and inhuman act of destruction-”
Where a dead man called out for his love to flee.
Peeta inhaled shakily, his lips so slightly quivering. “Think about it,” he said. “How will this end? What will be left?” Finnick walked closer to the screen, like he was caught in a trance. Peeta’s previously calm façade had broken and was replaced with someone who looked stricken by panic. “No one can survive this. No one is safe now. Not here in the Capitol.” He shook his head. “Not in any of the districts.” 
He stopped, looking right into the camera as if he was staring into Katniss’ eyes. He may not have known it, but he was.
“They’re coming, Katniss. They’re gonna kill everyone.” They heard quick footsteps behind the camera as Peeta rushed to get his words out. “And in district 13 you’ll be dead by morning-”
Then the camera cut out.
Finnick didn’t know what to say, glancing over at Katniss to see her cupping her mouth in shock.
Haymitch was much more calm. With Katniss spinning out, he had to be. “He’s warning us. That was a warning.” Behind him, Boggs said something in agreement.
Katniss looked to have gotten over her shock, frantically turning and fretting, “We have to get him out before they kill him.” She was ignored.
What about you? he wondered. Where did this leave you? But right now, what they needed to worry about was where it left them.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t have anything to come home to.
“It’s time for an air raid drill.” Seconds after Coin spoke, an alarm went off. Everyone that’d been fixed to their spot in the room was up, like they’d been preparing for this for a lifetime, and from what he heard, they had been.
Katniss went running, searching for her sister while he went looking for Annie and Mags, grabbing them and descending down the stairwell as soon as he saw them. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, his mind blank, just as it was in the arena.
If he let his thoughts take control, then he’d lose it, and he couldn’t do that right now. He couldn’t slip up right now with what was at stake.
It was your life on the line.
He couldn’t lose you.
But a part of him knew that, the second you were in Snow’s hands, the you that he knew was lost forever.
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Down in the bunker, Finnick sat on the bottom bunk with Mags off resting by herself while Annie had fallen asleep at the top. Sometimes, with her episodes, it was easy to forget that she was a victor, too, that she had danced the same dance you had. But she was, and she was dancing like never before.
He could tell that she had been trying hard to keep it together, but with all of the panic and the noise, it was hard. She fell asleep easily. 
Although the bunker was pretty quiet, his thoughts were still so loud. The last time he saw you played out in his head. He could still taste your lips on his, still feel your soft skin, still see your beautiful eyes.
I’ll see you at midnight?
Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.
But he didn’t. He never saw you again. He would’ve never let you go if he’d known then what’d happen. He would’ve held you longer, kissed you longer. He would’ve told you he loved you.
If he’d known this’d happen, he would’ve told you long before The Games. The truth was, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he fell in love with you. It had always been Annie for him, and you were just there.
But that was exactly it. You were there. You were always there. 
Maybe he started falling for you after the first time you slept together. Maybe it was after your fifth time mentoring together. Maybe it was after the time he had a nightmare and you let him hold you. Maybe it was after you smiled, and really smiled, for the first time since you decided to start pretending to be a couple. He couldn’t be sure, but somewhere along the way, you became so much more to him than just Y/N Y/L/N, Princess of Panem and victor of the 67th Hunger Games.
You became the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
He just wished he could’ve told you that.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when someone walked up to him. “Hey.” He looked up, seeing Katniss. She looked beat, her voice quiet. “Can I sit?”
He nodded, moving over so she could sit next to him. She had her family down here, that’s why he hadn’t gone over to her, but he understood why she was coming to him. After going through what they went through, it was easier to be around people who went through the same thing, who were going through the same thing.
Like she was reading his mind, she asked, “Are you thinking about her?”
There wasn’t any need for further explanation. Truthfully, he answered, “Yeah,” looking down at the ground. Every moment he had that wasn’t dedicated to this revolution was spent thinking about you.
After a second, she spoke up again. “Snow’s using her to punish you. He’s taunting us with them.” She scoffed a little. “I didn’t understand that until just now watching that stupid cat.”
She was right. This wasn’t just about propaganda. This was about Snow’s little puppets misbehaving.
So now he was showing them that, even in 13, he still owned them. He still owned Finnick. He still owned Katniss. He still owned Johanna. He still owned Peeta. And he still owned you.
He was using you against him because he knew how much you meant to him, the same way he knew how much Peeta meant to Katniss, even if she didn’t see that herself.
Finnick sighed, debating on whether or not he should say what he was thinking or keep it to himself before deciding that he had held enough in, that holding his thoughts in had never done him any good. So he turned to Katniss and started, “I- Y/N and I, we hadn’t met until after she won her Games. We weren’t really friends, at first, but rumours start fast in the Capitol, especially when ‘royalty’ is involved.” He humourlessly chuckled. “People were saying that we were dating, and so she- she thought the best thing for us to do was to let them believe it, let them have their love story. The alternative, two people coping together- that was a lot darker than what the Capitol could handle.”
She tilted her head, furrowing her brows. He watched as she put it all together. “Wait, are you saying that…”
He nodded. “Yes. It was fake. Our love story was just that: a story.” Surprise was painted all over her face.
“But… you told me that you love her.”
A ghost of a smile came to his face. “I do. I love her. It wasn’t like that at first, but over time, I fell for her, Katniss.” He saw a look pass over her face: understanding. What he was describing wasn’t just you and him; it was her and Peeta. “Y/N and I, we learned how to play the game. If anyone could spot a fake relationship, it was us. After your first Games, we thought your whole romance was an act. We expected you to continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta’s heart stopped and he nearly died that… I knew I’d misjudged you. You love him.”
Katniss looked away, like what he was saying was something she’d never even considered. It was so clear to everyone that she loved him, everyone but herself.
“I’m not saying in what way,” he added, understanding her feelings so well because he’d right where she was. “Maybe you don’t even know yourself. But anyone paying attention can see it.” He maintained his stare, even as she looked away.
With the life they lived, you didn’t want to give yourself to love, to admit that to yourself, to allow yourself to be vulnerable. But you could only hide a love so strong for so long.
She swallowed, gaze still aimed at the floor. “How do you live with it?”
You’re asking the wrong person, he thought, but that wasn’t an acceptable answer. That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Right now, Katniss was lost; he needed to point her in the right direction.
Even if he still had trouble doing that for himself.
He paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say. “I drag myself outta nightmares and there’s no relief in waking up,” he confessed. “But I- sometimes, when I’m awake, I let myself dream about her.” Finally, she looked over to him. “I dream that, one day, when this is all over, we’re living in a better world, happy.” The corners of his lips quirked up at the thought. “It’s hope, Katniss. That’s how I live with it.”
Katniss eyes were dull, red, tired, but even in the darkness of the bunker, he was able to see a tiny spark light up in her eyes.
Hope.
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They’d fallen asleep in the bunker along with everyone else until Finnick woke up to Boggs shaking him, telling him that they had to go. Coin wanted Katniss to get in front of the camera, tell Panem that they were still standing after the attack.
But, as soon as they stepped outside, he watched her fall apart.
Roses.
A rose?
They’re a Capitol favourite.
You hated roses. Looking at them himself, he couldn’t even blame Katniss. He felt sick, too.
She couldn’t do it. She was almost hysterical, so of course Boggs let her go. They couldn’t put her on TV when she was like this. But they also didn’t have time to wait.
With Katniss gone, Haymitch and Boggs pulled him aside to a briefing room, getting started on a new plan.
“Okay, what are we doing?”
They gave each other a look, much like the look Plutarch and Haymitch traded right after the Quell, like they knew something he didn’t, like they were getting ready for him to explode.
“Finnick, the dam that went down in district 5 cut power in most of the Capitol,” Haymitch started. “Their defences are down—Beetee’s gonna be able to get in now.”
His brows furrowed. He already knew that. 
Sensing his confusion, Boggs cut in, “We’ve gotten word that the victors are in the Tribute Centre.”
Suddenly, it was like his heart stopped.
You were coming home.
He echoed his thoughts. “You’re going to get them?”
“Yes, I’ll be leading the mission-”
“Well, I’m coming.” Again, they both shared a look, like they were expecting him to say that, and why wouldn’t they? You were his girlfriend; of course, he wanted to be there to save you. 
“Finnick-”
He cut Boggs off a second time, repeating himself, “I am coming with you.”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”
He scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Finnick-”
“If you’re going to get Y/N, then I’m coming with you-”
“You are too valuable to this revolution for them to let you go,” Haymitch said, but Finnick really couldn’t give a damn about whatever reason they threw at him. You were all he could think about.
“I’m not just gonna sit here and do nothing while they’re being rescued,” he retaliated. For over a month, sitting around and doing nothing was practically all he’d been doing, fantasizing about you, unknowing of when he’d see you again or if he’d ever see you again, trying to imagine what you could’ve been going through.
He couldn’t just stand by while you were in a live or die situation.
If you died- no, he cut his thoughts off, refusing to finish the sentence.
You couldn’t die.
Haymitch sighed, glancing away before looking back at him. His eyes were always hard, but at that moment, Finnick saw flashes of sympathy. “You won’t be doing nothing.”
His eyes slightly narrowed. “What do you mean?”
The two shared another look before he told him, “Katniss can’t record right now. But you can.”
Another scoff left his lips, an incredulous look on his face as his voice was laced with sarcasm. “You want me to film a propo while you save Y/N?”
Haymitch didn’t respond right away, just staring at him like he was trying to properly articulate his words. The way he was looking at him unnerved him, like whatever he was gonna say could shatter him into a million pieces.
“Not a propo, Finnick,” he finally said, hesitation evident in his tone. “It’s a lot more than that.”
And, as Haymitch explained to him what they wanted him to do, Finnick learned just how much more that was.
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Finnick Odair. That was a name synonymous with royalty, luxury, desire. Before he even met you, that was the name he’d built for himself—or, rather, the name that was thrusted into his arms.
A sex symbol.
When you won your Games, he could remember listening to the Capitol chatter. Stunning, refined, intelligent: a princess. You both already had so much in common, both from the same district, both so young when you won, but suddenly, as he watched you leave that hotel room that night in the Capitol, he realized that you had much more in common than he thought.
You were one and the same.
Those nights you spent together in the Capitol, out in the cold, you were silent. And then, even as you spoke to big Capitol fishes and gave speeches, you were still silent then, too, never speaking out about the injustices you’d been faced with.
Now, Finnick stood outside in the darkness, cold, but this time, you weren’t next to him. You weren’t next to him, and that was because Snow took you.
So he wasn’t going to stay silent anymore.
You deserved better than that.
He glanced around, almost as if he was trying to tell if his surroundings were real, if he was really doing this. 
He looked back when Cressida called his name, a careful look on her face. “Yeah,” he said, conveying he was okay without saying it, even if he really wasn’t. 
She didn’t look very convinced, but she still responded, “Okay.” She paused. “Take your time. Just remember to keep talking and don’t stop.”
He lightly nodded, looking up in front of him, seeing his breath in the air. For a moment, he was silent, but that moment didn’t last long. 
He had been silent for far too long already.
“This is Finnick Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games,” he introduced himself, even though he knew that anyone watching must have recognized him right away. “And I’m coming to you from district 13, alive and well. We’ve survived an assault from the Capitol,” he recited. “But I’m not here to give you recent news.”
What he was going to tell them was much more than news about this rebellion. What he would reveal was about a war that’d started long before this rebellion ever did.
“I come with something much more valuable.”
I haven’t dealt in anything as common as money in years.
Well, then how do people pay for the pleasure of your company?
“The truth. The truth about being a victor, about being royalty.” Bitterness seeped through his tone. “Not the myths about a life of luxury. Not the lie about glory for your homeland.” He looked straight at the camera. “You can survive the arena. But the moment you leave, you’re a slave.”
We will never be free, Y/N.
He took in a breath before he spoke his next words, knowing that they held power stronger than a weapon. He may as well have been pointing the gun at his own head. But if he had to get burned to burn down the Capitol, then he would do it. He would do it a thousand times over.
And so would you.
“President Snow used to sell me. Or my body, at least. I wasn’t the only one.” Your face flashed in his mind. “If a victor is considered desirable, the President gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them. If you refuse, he kills someone you love.” Johanna.
It’s not fair. He killed her family. She said no, and he killed her family.
I know. It’s not fair, I know.
It was never fair. No riches or glory could ever be enough to compensate for that.
“To make themselves feel better, my patrons would make presents of money or jewelry. But I found a much more valuable form of payment.” The corners of his lips upturned slightly to form a small, humourless smile. “Secrets.”
The secrets he knew had the power to rip apart the Capitol’s so called “peace” at the seams. For him, for Katniss, for Johanna, for Peeta, for Annie, for you—this peace had fallen apart ages ago.
Katniss was forced to become the voice of thousands when she could barely do that for herself. Johanna turned to rage. Peeta turned to charm. Annie lost her mind. And you… what about you? 
It was about time that this peace was destroyed. It was about time that people understood exactly what victors really lost. And that Panem’s monsters weren’t hiding under the bed.
They were sitting on thrones.
“See, I know all the depravity, the deceit, and the cruelty of the Capitol’s pampered elite. But the biggest secrets are about our good President, Coriolanus Snow.” The biggest monster of them all. “Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you may ask, did he do it?” He paused, looking right at the camera as if he was looking right into Snow’s eyes.
He hoped he was watching.
He hoped he was watching as they burned the Capitol to the ground.
“One word.” He lit the match. “Poison.” And then he dropped it.
“He stopped every mutiny before it even started. There are so many mysterious deaths to adversaries. Even to allies who were threats.” He could remember being at one of those dinners, watching a man fall onto his plate, his life over so quickly.
Once you were on the playing board, it didn’t matter how powerful you were. To Snow, you were all just pawns that he could knock off the board easily.
Not anymore.
“Snow would drink from the same cup to deflect suspicion. But… antidotes don’t always work, which is why he wears roses that reek of perfume. Help cover the scent of blood from sores in his mouth that will never heal.”
When Finnick learned this, he could remember the feeling he had, the satisfaction in knowing that a man who had spilled so much blood was bleeding himself. It was karmic.
How ironic was that?
“But he can’t hide the scent of who he really is,” he continued, remembering Cressida’s words. Don’t stop. “He kills without mercy. He rules with deception and fear. His weapon of choice is the only thing suited to such a man. Poison.” He scoffed. 
“The perfect weapon for a snake.”
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Moments after Finnick’s last words, they were off the air. Cressida’s hand went to her ear, a dark look passing over her face. The Capitol air defence system’s coming back online, she said, and she didn’t get to say much else before he went running inside.
Much like every other day he’d spent in 13, your face came to his mind, but this time was different. This time, they went in to save you.
What if they couldn’t?
No, they had to bring you back- they had to.
He ran and ran until he got to ops, seeing Katniss crying in Haymitch’s arms. As soon as she saw him, she latched onto him and he reciprocated her hug tightly. He had to hold on. He had to.
He wouldn’t survive the fall if he let go.
He knows, he knows they’re in the Tribute Centre, she cried, and then for the second time that day, his heart stopped. He knew. Snow knew about the rescue mission.
His ears rang, eyes going blurry. And then things got a little blurry after that, too. Eventually, he ended up back in his room by himself. He didn’t know how he got there, but he did. All he could hear was your voices in his head.
No, you are coming home-
Finni-
We are both coming come. We are both coming home, Y/N, I swear.
He was supposed to protect you. He promised. He promised you that you would both make it home. But now where were you? You weren’t with him.
You never came home.
At one point, Annie came in, trying to be of some consolation, but she ended up leaving, unable to get through to him. He couldn’t hear her over your conversations that replayed in his head on a loop.
I told you. I’m not letting you die.
A tear raced down his cheek. He knew that you were maybe still alive, that you still had a chance, but that didn’t matter. It was never supposed to get to this point. He was never supposed to let it get to this point, a point where you could be dead.
He was supposed to bring you home.
Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.
The doors suddenly slid open and Katniss walked in, breaking him out of his spell. He wiped the tears that’d fallen, clearing his throat. “Is there any news?”
Solemnly, she shook her head. “No.” He sighed as she sat down next to him, a big exhale leaving her lips, too. Both of them had passed the point of exhaustion, but it wasn’t like they could rest. Finnick wasn’t sure that he could sleep if he tried.
With this song playing so loudly, how could he?
Katniss was dancing the same dance as him, fighting the same battles. The man she loved was out there, too. She must have been just as scared as him.
They sat in silence for a while until she broke it, her voice raspy and just above a whisper. “Finnick?”
He turned to see her looking down at the ground. “Yeah?”
“I-” she stammered. It was only when she looked up at him that he saw the look in her eyes and knew why she was so nervous.
He shook his head. “It’s fine-”
She scoffed. “No, it’s not- it’s not fine-”
“Katniss-”
She cut him off. “I’m sorry.” Her words made him swallow. He knew she was going to speak them, but for some reason, hearing them was so different, surreal. She exhaled again, maintaining eye contact. “I am sorry.”
Finnick looked away. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her apology, but he felt uncomfortable, looking into her eyes and just seeing the pure sorrow, pity. No, Katniss hadn’t been through exactly what he had, but at that moment, looking into her eyes was like looking into a mirror.
He couldn’t handle that right now, not when he stood at the top of the tallest mountain in the world and had such a long way to fall, everything to lose. 
He nodded, accepting her apology without words. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know, she didn’t know him back then. She hadn’t been a victor long enough to know yet. If anything, he was glad that she didn’t get to know their world, that she wasn’t sucked up by the same darkness that took you and him.
He was glad that her and Peeta got time in the sun, even if it was only for a little while.
“Y/N…” At the sound of your name, he turned back to her, seeing her brows furrow, eyes glazed over. “When I met her, she said something to me.” Realization flashed across her face as she looked up. “Was- was she-”
He cut her off, “Yeah. Yeah, she was.” When he blinked, he saw you walking out of that hotel room, the look on your face. He’d never forget the way you looked at him that night.
May the odds be ever in your favour, darling.
“There were more,” he admitted. “Any victor that the Capitol found desirable was taken. Annie only couldn’t because of her madness. Johanna-” a humourless chuckle left his lips. “Johanna refused, and her entire family paid the price.” He look back to Katniss to see that her mouth had fallen open, a look of horror on her face. “You and Peeta were spared because you were together. Hell, that’s the reason Y/N and I got together, to escape all this. And now look where we are.”
With you on the verge of dying and Finnick on the verge of losing everything.
You. You were his everything.
And you didn’t even know it.
“I never told her, Katniss.” He was breathless, like the wind had been knocked out of him. He’d realized this before, knew that he made a mistake, but now it was like he was realizing that he may never get the chance to correct it. “I- I never told her I loved her.”
I’m your girlfriend now?
Oh, come on, Y/N. You can’t be serious right now.
I am so serious right now.
You had no idea. You had no idea that you were the reason he kept living, that you were the reason he kept going, even when it hurt so badly. He’d walk through Hell if he could get to Heaven and be with you.
But what if you never knew that?
What if you died without knowing how he felt about you?
Katniss grabbed onto his hand. He looked to see tears welling in her eyes. “You will,” she whispered. “Hope, Finnick. You need to have hope.”
“Hope,” he echoed. Just like how he saw your face, he was able to see a future just as easily. It was so clear. That better world that Coin went on about, the better world that they were fighting for… it was just within their grasp. He nodded, managing to form somewhat of a smile. “Hope.”
He needed that, now more than ever. If he ever wanted to make it to that better world, to live in it with you, then he had to have hope—hope for the both of you.
Katniss didn’t say much after that; neither did he. Both of them were reflecting on their own, still trying to process all the turmoil that the day had caused. He spent his time thinking of you, imagining that better world.
In a better world, you and Finnick would’ve never been sold. You would’ve met, and he would’ve gotten the chance to fall in love with you the right way. He wouldn’t have been so scared to tell you. You would’ve given back to the community, not taken kids to their deaths.
You would’ve been so happy together.
But that wasn’t the world you lived in.
In the world you lived in, you and Finnick were sold at ages far too young. First, you sold your souls by winning The Games, and then your bodies were sold to people who had no business touching you.
In the world you lived in, you were only brought together because of tragedy. You only dated to try and save yourselves from a much greater evil, not because you loved each other.
In the world you lived in, Finnick fell in love with you. But he couldn’t tell you that, not when his biggest fear became losing you.
But in the world you lived in, he lost you, anyway.
So he had to have hope that a better world was possible- he had to. Not having that was another blow he wasn’t sure he could take.
When imagining your better world turned into reminiscing over all that’d happened to you both, he cut his thoughts off. He couldn’t let himself stop and break down now, not when he was so close to the finish line, so close to you.
So he pulled rope from his pocket, tying the same knots over and over again, a habit he’d picked up at a young age. Focusing on the knots was able to take his mind off everything, allowing white noise to play instead of this song.
He didn’t want to hear it without you.
He did this until he lost track of time. It was only when the doors slid open again that he was broken out of his trance. Katniss perked up right away. It was Haymitch behind the door, looking as enthusiastic as Finnick had ever seen him. “They’re back.”
She gasped, getting up and running right away, but it was as if Finnick was cemented to his spot. They’re back. 
You were back.
Just like that, he was shaken out of his shock, standing and quickly catching up with them.
They ran until they were in the medical area. As soon as they got there, he saw Johanna, ripping an IV out of her arm. Her hair was gone, shaven off, bruises all over her pale, pale face.
“Johanna,” Katniss muttered, but Finnick’s attention was elsewhere, eyes darting around the room, searching for you, heart racing.
And then he saw you.
His eyes went wide. “Y/N!” Without waiting another second, he ran to you. After over a month, here you were, right in front of him.
But it wasn’t so simple.
You flinched as his hands went to touch you, making him retract them right away. Your eyes didn’t look in his direction once.
Like you were scared of him.
At the thought, his heart clenched. It was only then that he noticed you were shaking, even as you were covered in blankets.
Your body was littered with cuts and bruises. You were pale, too, so clearly malnourished and sleep deprived. But it was your eyes that really got him. Your beautiful eyes no longer looked so lively. They looked empty.
You looked like a ghost.
“Y/N?” His voice cracked simultaneously with his heart. Why weren’t you looking at him? “Y/N-”
He was cut off. “Mr. Odair.” He turned to see a doctor standing on the other side of your bed, a hesitant look on her face and a look in her eyes that made a shiver go up spine. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”
He glanced back to you, seeing that you still weren’t looking at him. Your gaze was fixed on a spot on your bed. You hadn’t looked up once, even as the doctor spoke. Confused, he nodded, letting the woman pull him to the side, out of earshot from you.
But even as the doctor started speaking, he couldn’t get your eyes out of his mind.
That look in your eye was somehow worse than any of his nightmares combined.
“Mr. Odair, Ms. Y/L/N’s condition is… it’s quite complex,” she cautioned. He furrowed his brows, his worry increasing.
“What do you mean- is she okay-”
“No, I meant- physically, I’m not seeing much to be worried about. Of course, she could be better- much better, but this is what we were expecting.” She paused, glancing at you. “Mentally- I’m not even sure where to begin.”
He glanced back at you, too, to see that you were still staring at that same spot on your bed. He let the doctor’s words register in his brain. You weren’t okay.
“We’ve informed psych, but for now, you’re just gonna need to give her time.” Time.
He let out a breath, feeling his eyes getting wet as what she was saying really soaked in. “You’re telling me to leave.” Just as he got you back.
“Mr. Odair-”
“You’re telling me to leave.”
“Finnick.” She cut him off with a strong call of his name. “Your girlfriend’s mental state right now is unstable. She’s in shock; she’s not herself right now. It is going to take some time to get her out of this state, and it’s going to be hard for you to see her in it. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for her is take some time to collect your thoughts.”
She was telling him to go off and think. Did she know that’s all he’d been doing for hours, thinking and throwing himself into the worst possible scenarios, only to realize that one of them had become a reality?
But he didn’t tell her this, instead looking back at you. You were lifeless. When he looked back at the doctor, there was a pleading expression on her face. He didn’t want to leave you, but she made it sound like the best possible thing to do for you. So he did.
But the truth was, he just couldn’t bear to watch you when you were like that.
You were the love of his life. It was like his heart started beating again when he saw you there, alive, but then it dulled once he really looked at you.
You didn’t look like the girl he fell in love with, the girl that went into that arena, or the girl he said goodbye to. It only took a month, and now you looked like a completely different person, like you had seen things no man had ever seen.
In his haze, Finnick made it back to his room, but he didn’t make it to the bed, collapsing onto the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as his mind spun.
You were alive. He thought that, when he finally saw you again, all of his worries would be erased, that everything would be okay again, that the world would go back to being in colour instead of this black and white that he’d been stuck in with Katniss.
But nothing seemed more colourful.
Nothing seemed better.
You were here. You were back, Y/N Y/L/N, the same woman he loved, the same woman he’d dreamt about for weeks. You were alive. 
But, oh, he should’ve known it couldn’t have been that easy.
Your heart was beating, your eyes were open, and you were there… but that didn’t mean you were alive.
I told you. I’m not letting you die.
Little did Finnick know, you were already dead. 
Taglist: @avoxrising @mxacegrey @littleshadow17 @lovelyteenagebeard @nasyanastya @catastrxblues @zodiyack @zulpix-blog @mushroomelephant @muggies @lantsovheiress @hobiebrowns-wife @notplutos @faeriepigeons
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charcoallbaby · 3 months
Text
fake marriage
smuttyyyyy ofc so 18+ also a lil toxic
tired asf i’ll do a spelling check tmrw thx for reading!
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having a fake marriage was definitely one of the best thing to ever exist especially since i get paid to pretend to love a man who is basically heartless, well to most people he is.
i get to live in a giant penthouse in the city of boston, i get a huge bedroom, with a ensuite plus a balcony, free clothes, mostly everything gets handed to me.
as much i love being in this fake marriage, there are some cons mostly because of matt. i mostly hate hearing him fuck girls in the room next to me, when i can’t do anything like that, he’s very protective of me, he gets jealous very easily, he doesn’t really let me talk to any male being while he’s with me. he punishes me by not paying me that week which doesn’t really effect me, the amount of money i’ve made since this marriage is insane, it would take me months to run through it. but in matt’s eyes he’s somehow “punishing me.”
tonight was a black-tie event for one of his many company’s. he got me a vintage chanel dress from the 90s. it was the most beautiful dress i’ve ever laid my eyes on, i knew the price of the dress would be nothing to him, he just wantedme to look good standing beside him.
“ready?” matt asked while fixing his cufflinks on his wrist. “yeah, i just need to get my heels on.” i grabbed my silver heels from my collection of different types of heels.
“the cars outside y/n.” he looked me up and down. “fuck, can you grab my bag?” i asked slipping myheels on. he rolled his eyes and grabbed my bag off my vanity. “thank you.” i took my small clutch from his hands and made my way to the elevator.
“behave tonight,” matt whispered in my ear before placing his hand around my waist, smiling for the cameras. “i always do.” i say through my teeth. “we’ll see about that love.” he pressed a light kiss to my cheek.
everything is for the cameras and i mean that. the touching, the kissing, theres no contact between us at home. before today i hadn’t spoken to matt in probably 3 days. not that he would talk to me anyway. he only talks to his parents, his 2 brothers, the maids who clean the house(mostly flirting) and the girls he fucks in the guest bedroom, matt would never dare to fuck a girl in his own bed, he’s really weird about that type of thing, he hates when anyone goes into his room well everyone but the maids, as i said he flirts with them a lot, just to make them blush, it boosts his already massive ego. after i come home from picking up some groceries up or going to visit my friends, i hear him making up some story of how he saved an animal or how much money he gives to charity which i know he does. but he hates people, hates them other than the couple people he talks to.
mine and matt’s hands were interlinked as we walked into the building.
“how long have you guys been married?” the older women infront of us asked. i looked up at matt before speaking, “well me and matt have been together 3 years, married for 1,” i gave a fake smile to the women. “that’s just so beautiful!” she chimed. matt gave the women a small smile. “wait!” “what about kids, do you have kids?” matt’s let go of my hand and put the hand i just holding around my waist. i cleared my through before awkwardly laughing. “no, no,” “not as of right now,” i smiled. “maybe soon,” matt finally spoke. “oh really!” she exclaimed. “yes matt really!” i looked up at him, he looked down at me before looking back at the women. “maybe not soon, but in the future.” he licked his lips. “wonderful!” “it was nice talking to your mr and mrs sturniolo, i’m going to find my husband he wanders off!” she laughed. “you too.” matt gave her a straight lined smile. “bye.” i smiled.
me and matt watched her walk away. “fuck,” he took a deep breath. “having kids soon are we?” i turned to him. he moved both his hands around my waist as he looked down at me. “only said that for people to have something to talk about,” i could feel his warm hands through my dress. “it’s crazy how such a cold hearted person can make something up like that,” i teased him. he looked away from me, chuckled before looking back at me again. “you look good.” he licked his teeth. “yeah you too.” i touched his right bicep.
“thank you everyone for coming tonight,” matt awkwardly had his hand in his pocket as he gave a speech. “i would like to thank my team and my wife,” “thanks.” he awkwardly put his drink up in the air before taking a sip.
the room was filled with people loudly clapping.
“what’s wrong?” matt asked as he came down by from the stage. “my feet hurt.” i whined. “y/n baby, i didn’t marry you to whine about your feet come on let’s get a drink.” he put his hand on my back and guided me towards the bar.
“what would you guys like?” the bartender asked. “scotch on the rocks,” “y/n?” matt asked. i looked at the bartender. he smiled at me. i gave him back a small smile. i cleared my throat. “i’ll have a-” “she’ll have a glass of white wine,” matt interrupted me. “alright, that’ll be coming straight up,” he looked at me. “are you trying to piss me off?” he leaned down and whispered into my ear. “no,” i gulped. “you were flirting with that guy,” “matt i just smiled.” “we’re going home, come on.” he grabbed my hand.
the car ride was silent. matt was on his phone making the back of the SUV slightly light up. i looked out the window, mostly trying to notfall asleep.
matt pressed the button for the elevator. he stood there my heels in his hand while looking down at the marbled floor on the lobby floor.
the elevator opened, no one inside. we both walked in. matt pressed the number for our apartment before leaning his head against the wall behind him, closing his eyes. he looked so sexy, his jawline was sharp as fuck, his long hair falling over his eyes and his tie wrapped around his shoulders, he took it off when we got in the car. i pressed the emergency button making the elevator immediately stop. matt’s eyes darted open. he looked at me.
“why’d you stop the elevator y/n?” he groaned. “why are you so overly protective with me matt?” “you know i don’t flirt with guys especially in front of you, you love to make shit up did you see me flirt with that bartender?” “i simply smiled at him as a nice human does,” i crossed my arms. matt rolled his eyes. “what would you like to pretend that i don’t care?” “y/n, you think i care about who you flirt with?” “i actually couldn’t care fucking less, i just you know like to make this marriage look a little bit realistic,” he leaned over and re-pressed over apartment floor button. the elevator began moving again. “this marriage would be a little realistic when i have people over for you to not be fucking some girl,” i looked down at my nails. “what’d say?” “you heard me loud and clear,” the elevator doors opened. “thanks for holding my heels baby.” i grabbed the heels from his hand and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek just to piss him off even more.
i made my way to my room before matt grabbed my arm turning me around. “who do you think you are?” matt asked. i shrugged my shoulders before turning back around. “y/n!” matt yelled, pulling me back and pressing me against the wall beside us. “come on baby, tell me,” matt roughly held my waist. “i’m your wife matt,” i looked up at him. “your my wife y/n and i would like if you actually listened to me when i talked to you,” his grip on my hips became softer. “i’m sorry, i promise i’ll listen better next time daddy,” i batted my eyelashes. his eyes rolled into the back of my head. “i’m going to bed.” he backed away from me. “sweet dreams husband.”
after the little scene matt made, i changed out of my dress and walked into the kitchen to find a snack to eat.
i sat myself down at the kitchen island, a bowl of ice cream in front of me, my phone in my left hand, the spoon in my right. i had been thinking of eating this ice cream all day and now i finallygot a chance.
i was nearly half way through the bowl before shirtless matt walked into the kitchen, he had those plaid pj pants he loved with of course the waist band of his boxers sticking out. i rolled my eyes before focusing back onto the ice cream. i could hear matt open the fridge. i quickly looked at his back. it was so defined, his tattoos making it way hotter that it actually had to be.
“do we have any spare batteries anywhere?” i spoke. matt turned around, opened-water bottle in his hand. “why?” he asked. “for my vibarator,” i popped the spoon into my mouth. matt choked on his water. “do you know?” i asked. he cleared his throat. “yeah, there’s some in the uh-in my office on my desk.” he swallowed. “okay thanks!” i cheekily smiled. matt mumbled something i couldn’t make out before walking back to his room.
i opened matt’s office door to find him sitting on one of the couch’s controller in his hand playing his playstation. hm coincidence.
“sorry i just need to grab those batteries,” i walked past him and looked around his desk. i couldn’t see them. “matt where are they?” i turned around and looked at him. “they should be there,” he said not taking his eyes off the tv. i rolled mine while looking back down at the desk. “matt it’s an empty packet,” i held it up. he finally looked at me.“oh shit yeah- i was just being a nice husband, i already put the batteries in for you there sweetheart,” he flashed me a smile before looking back at the tv. i stomped over right infront of him. “i can’t see the tv princess,” “pause it then,” i bit the inside of my cheek. he paused it, placing the controller beside him. “you went through my stuff?” “you held my viborator!” “yeah, it was a nice one,” he smirked at me. “what the fuck!” “your insane!” i yelled. “eh,” “i’m not that bad love.” he opened his legs, man spreading.
i exhaled. “why would you think that would be a good idea?” i put a hand through my hair. “it was a nice gesture, don’t you think?” he poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. i groaned. “it’s fucking weird!” “your not even my real husband!” “well if this makes you feel any better i did it so it would make the marriage more realistic,” he titled his head at me. “don’t bring that shit back up matt!” i whimpered.
“come on, it’s okay,” matt pulled himself more towards me. he placed his hands on my waist while looking up at me. “matt what are you doing?” i groaned. “it’s okay.” he pressed his warms lips against my stomach. i slowly closed my eyes. his lips stayed on my stomach while he slipped a finger up my shorts and into my underwear. he slid his finger into my soaking core. i let out a moan. he moved his finger inside me. after a few seconds his finger left me. i opened my eyes. his finger in his mouth. “oh fuck, you taste good,” he moaned. “let me eat you out,” he pulled me by the waistband of my shorts towards him making me fall down onto his lap. i quickly felt how hard he was underneath me. “lay there,” he said moving the controller onto the coffee table in front of us. i nodded my head. i layed myself down. matt licked his lips before pulling my shorts and underwear off. he placed himself between my legs. he was quick to slowly suck my clit. i cried out. “all you do is touch yourself y/n, i bet your dying for this,” matt groaned against me. he slipped his tongue into my licking up all my juices like it’s the best thing he’s every tasted. my hands were pulling onto his hair while parting my mouth open in pleasure. “ma-matt!” i cried out. “nearly there baby?” he pulled away from me making his warm breath hit off the pool he was between. “mhm.” i mumbled.
matt gave me one long stride between my folds before pulling away from me. i opened my eyes and whined. i was on the edge of coming. “i wanna fuck you,” matt said feeling his hard on through his pants. “okay-okay.” i breathed out. “not here, in my room.”
matt placed me down onto his bed, his lips softly meeting mine. we’ve kissed before around people but not alone, it felt so much more different this time.
“you on the pill?” he asked pulling his boxers down. i nodded my head. “i’m gonna fuck you without a condom cause to be fair, i don’t really care if i get you pregnant, your my wife after all.”
matt was inside me, not moving. i was trying to adjust his size. “you can do it, i know you can, matt whispered into my ear. “mhm,” i mumbled. he started to move inside me slowly but then started to pick it up. his arm was hovering over me, grabbing the headboard for support “fuckkkkkkk,” he moaned. “y/n, i’m gonna fuck you until the sun rises okay?” he grunted. “y-yeah.” i let out. “such a girl good for me.” he placed a kiss to my lips. his necklace that had a horse pendant was dangling over me, i got him it for his birthday that he claimed to only wear when we have to put our act on but he wears it all time.
i clenched around matt for like the 4th time in the last 2 and half hours.
matt dropped himself down beside me. “it gets better every fucking time y/n i swear.” matt said before sucking a nipple into his mouth. “mhm, i know baby.” i closed my eyes and put a hand through his hair and down his neck.
he popped my nipple out of his mouth before looking up at me. “you wanna order food, we can fuck inbetween don’t worry, i just hungry as fuck when i have sex,” he leaned his chin between the gaps my boobs. “yeah i could eat something i’m starving,” i ran my hand over his cheek. “your choice to pick.” he said before kissing my lips and getting up to throw his pj pants back on. i looked up at him sprawled out on his bed, naked. “am i the only girl you’ve had in this bed?” i asked. “pretty much,” he grabbed his t-shirt from the ground. “i feel special,” i grinned. he jokingly rolled his eyes. “don’t worry, not gonna happen again,” “that’s what you say until you hear me moan your name while my vibartor is between my thighs,” i sat up. “you think of me?” he chuckled. i nodded my head. “my wife actually thinks of me while masturbating, im a lucky man.”
“yeah, no more sex.” i spoke before rolling my eyes.
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cieloclercs · 1 month
Text
what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc
PART: 7/7 (read part 6 here)
summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more
warnings. angsty but with a lil catharsis at the end (yes it’s a happy ending i’m too weak to keep the angst up 😔) swearing as per, your bestie and charles SCHEMING, y/n being a teenyyy bit annoying but it’s fine she’s heartbroken we accept it 😚
pairing. charles leclerc x artsy!reader
face claim. tara michelle
author’s note. FINAL PART!! it’s been a long time coming (sorry about that sixth form’s been kicking my ass 😔) but thank you to everyone that has been interacting with this series! i love and appreciate you all sooooo much!! 🫶 anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy the finale of what would you say (if i told you i love you)? 💗
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yourusername happier than ever 🩶
view all comments…
username me when i lie:
username y/n baby you’re not fooling anyone with that caption 🫠
username ok billie eilish
username y/n may be a boss ass bitch but when you’ve been best friends with a guy since you were 5 years old AND you were in love with that guy it’s gonna fucking hurt.
username it’s so weird to me that everyone says she loved him like they confirmed anything? they were literally just friends 😑
username that may be so, but when two people look at each other the way y/n and charles do there’s NO WAY they’re just friends…
yourfriend you know there’s something called taking my advice maybe you should try it sometime 😃
username erm hello?? excuse me??
username what’s going on here then? 😳
arthur_leclerc sure you are ☺️
username the SHADE 😭
username arthur is truly one of us 🫡
username i want her and charles to make up NOT because i think she should forgive him but because she’s clearly miserable and denying herself a chance to be happy ☹️
username why does this feel like a cry for help
username i miss the old y/n 😢
username shut up she’s still y/n 🙄 don’t be one of those girls, people are allowed to change !!
username PREACH
leclerc_pascale ma fille pour toujours / my girl forever 💗
yourusername 🫶
username hey y/n! if you are truly happy then i am so proud of you <3 but i know that sometimes say things to hide the pain they’re actually feeling. what i’m trying to say is please don’t think you need to act as if you’re doing great all the time! we all love and support you no matter what, and all we want is for you to be happy! 💗
yourusername i think this is the sweetest comment i’ve ever received?? 🥹 thank you so so much for your kind words and for checking in! i love you ❤️
username crying this is the purest interaction on this app i’ve ever seen 🥲
username username PREACH!! this is the kind of energy all y/n fans should be having right now!!
username username no truer words have ever been spoken! yourusername we’re here for you no matter what! 🫶
*yourusername liked this comment
charles_leclerc all i want is for you to be happy.
*charles_leclerc deleted this comment
username CHARLES WE SAW THAT
username he really thinks he’s slick 😭
username we all saw the charles comment right?? i didn’t hallucinate it?? 😀
username how was it up for less than a minute and yet we literally all saw it 😭
username lol it’s expose charles day
username he really thought he could hide from us 🙄 rookie mistake
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f1gossip BREAKING! Charles Leclerc and Y/F/N, best friend of Y/N Y/L/N spotted together in Monaco! Do we smell a backstabber? 👀
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username YOU WHAT NOW
username THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING
username i actually have no words.
username oh 😃
username guys it might not be what it looks like!! we don’t know the whole story
username well it looks pretty incriminating to me…
username i knew she was a fake little bitch 🤢
username RIGHT?? i’ve always said it and no one ever listened to me!!
username she’s definitely jealous of y/n 🙄
username you guys sound so pathetic right now you don’t even know the whole story??
username right all the fake y/n fans talking shit about y/f/n need to SHUT THE FUCK UP.
username LITERALLY the switch up is insane 🫠
username yes!! first of all no one knows the full story, and second y/f/n has been nothing BUT supportive of y/n throughout this whole situation! switching up on her now is really unfair ☹️
yourfriend this is unbelievable. f1gossip you have no right to post this without any understanding of the full story.
username yourfriend stop trying to play innocent we all now you’re a fake backstabbing skank 🤮
username username if you can’t think for yourself without trusting everything the TABLOIDS tell you then just do us all a favour and shut the fuck up 🥰
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yourusername
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responses:
yourfriend thank you, y/n
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f1gossip Charles Leclerc spotted with a HUGE bouquet of flowers outside Y/N Y/L/N’s apartment in Monaco! Is reconciliation on the cards? 👀
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username OH MY GOD IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING
username CODE RED 🚨🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL GUYS I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
username charles i am PRAYING that you don’t fuck this up i need my otp back together 🙏🙏🙏
username he’s finally come to his senses
username NOW THAT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
username y/n girlie for the love of god you better not shoot him down after all this 😔🙏
username after all of what? a bouquet of flowers? he needs to try a bit harder than that 🙄
username have you not seen him grovelling AT HER FEET for the last six weeks 😀
username tbh if charles leclerc turned up at my door with flowers i’d melt. no matter how angry i was 🤷‍♀️
arthur_leclerc FINALLY
username ARTHUR 😭
username arthur bestie what are you doing here 😭
username he’s so us
username he stans charlesy/n just as much as we do 🫶
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one week later…
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tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername i’d say i love you too ❤️‍🩹
view all comments…
charles_leclerc thank you for giving me a second chance, mon amour ❤️
yourusername always 💫💗
charles_leclerc i love you so so much
charles_leclerc i’m the luckiest man in the world
yourusername aw charlie 🥹
username such a SIMP
username simp charles is my favourite charles
username oh he IN LOVE in love 🫠
username hold up so everyone was talking shit about y/f/n but the whole time she was actually plotting to get charles and y/n back together… 😳
username yep…everyone say sorry and thank you y/f/n right now!
username sorry yourfriend and thank you for doing god’s work 😔🙏
yourfriend you’re welcome guys ☺️
arthur_leclerc DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT
arthur_leclerc ELEVEN FUCKING YEARS
arthur_leclerc I DESERVE COMPENSATION FOR EVERY TIME I’VE HAD TO LISTEN TO YOU TWO PINE OVER EACH OTHER BUT NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
yourusername way to expose us arth 😔
charles_leclerc sorry? 😃
username CRYING ARTHUR IS SO DONE WITH THEIR SHIT
username arthur is the true winner in this situation 😭
username bless his poor charlesy/n heart 😔
username yourusername charles_leclerc LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THE POOR MAN. YOU’VE BROKEN HIM
joris_trouche it’s about damn time
yourusername ok lizzo
username THIS IS SO ADORABLE IM SOBBING
username FINALLY
username THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED. THAT’S IT MY LIFE IS COMPLETE
username ok but did you NEED to put us through all that pain? 😅
username it’s called character building bestie! we survived the charlesy/n friendship breakup so now we can get through anything! 😃
username the first picture 🥹🥹
leclerc_pascale Ma belle future fille / my beautiful future daughter 💗😉
charles_leclerc maman 🤦‍♂️
arthur_leclerc just propose already you’ve been saying you want to marry her since you were sixteen
charles_leclerc ARTHUR
yourusername CRYING 😭
yourfriend ARTHUR YOU DID NOT 😭😭
username IM SCREAMING ARTHUR WHY WOULD YOU EXPOSE HIM LIKE THAT
username poor charles can’t say anything without arthur exposing him 😔
landonorris i better be invited to the wedding 😏
carlossainz55 me too! 😘
charles_leclerc absolutely not.
yourusername landonorris carlossainz55 ignore him! of course you’re invited 😃
scuderiaferrari Our favourite couple ❤️
yourusername 🥰🫶
username even ferrari’s a charlesy/n fan
scuderiaferrari username *Biggest fan 😉
lorenzotl congrats to my favourite sibling (and charles) 😚
yourusername love you enzo ☺️💕
charles_leclerc rude??? 😒
username i love how they left us in suspense for a whole week after that gossip post and only NOW decided to confirm it ☺️☺️
username ROLL THE DAMN CREDITS.
taglist: @cxcewg @incoherenciass @formula1mount @allywthsr @meabhcavanagh @driveswiftly13 @zzblooda @gaslysainz @be-your-coffee-pot @siovhanroy @hwienv @xoxozoedagyal @alireads27 @glow-ish @eviethetheatrefreak @nmw-am @buendiabebeta @laneyspaulding19 @imthebadguyyy @marialovesf1 @f1wintermoon13 @topaz125 @aundercover @sainzluvrr @sunny44 @justdreamersdream @lordperceval-16 @needtokeepfeelingsincheck @midnightappleade @remuslupinsbitch @taylorslovesswifties13 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lillianacristina @lifeless-firefly @bbygrlllllll @405rry @1655clean @drthymby @ang-26 @dhe3reads @mishaandthebrits @caitdaniels @missenclod @lovely-blackinnon @smnthnclj @sofs16 @dark-night-sky-99 @c3leste888 @christcat @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @cixrosie
thank you all so much for the love on this series! i’m going to miss it 🥲
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atydblack · 10 months
Text
"demure" part 2
best friends dad! james x reader
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masterlist (requests open!!!)
PART 1
glad u guys liked part 1 because i can not stop thinking about this version of james .
warnings: age gap, cheating, rough sex (not too much smut in this one tho soz), jamie is kinda a dick, everyone is of age!!!
MDNI
---
It had been 3 days.
3 whole days since the night you spent with James and he hadn't spoken one word to you.
In the grand scheme of things, 3 days isn't too long. But when those 3 days are spent longing after someone who is pretending you don't exist it is.
You were frustrated in every sense of the word, and with just over a week until you go back to Hogwarts - you were becoming desperate.
Every one was floating in between the kitchen and living room. It was rare that there was ever a quiet moment at the Potter's which made it even more difficult to find James alone.
You sat with your head resting lightly on Ron's shoulder whilst him and Hermione chatted about something you couldn't even focus on, your mind a million miles away.
Surprisingly, you had barely felt any guilt towards your actions a few nights prior. Every time you felt a bit bad about what you'd done, Ron would piss you off and it all made sense again.
You had even tried to somewhat recreate the incident with Ron, actually trying it on with him every single night but he would just make fun of you or would already be asleep before you'd even had the chance to touch him.
"Y/N?" Ron pushed you off his shoulder. "I said, are you okay?"
"Yeah," you half heartedly smiled. "I'm just gonna grab some water."
"I can get it for you-"
"No, it's fine."
You stood to your feet and wandered through to the kitchen and there he stood.
James was leaning against the kitchen counter, a mirrored image of how he was stood just a few nights ago.
Your breath hitched in your throat.
A white shirt hung from his body as he had just gotten back from his job at the ministry under an hour ago. A half empty glass of red wine sat in his hand as he spoke intently to Remus.
When he noticed you enter, he stopped talking and his jaw tightened.
He had been on your mind 24/7. The way his hands felt on you, the way he spoke softly into your ear, the way he made you feel.
It was constant, you couldn't think of anything other than James.
James broke eye contact after a brief moment. He muttered something inaudible to Remus before quickly walking past you.
James' heavy footsteps echoed through the house as he almost stormed up the stairs.
Remus nodded his head at you. You couldn't tell wether he was indicating for you to follow him or if it was just a simple greeting.
You didn't care either way, you were bored of being ignored.
Turning swiftly, you padded quietly up the stairs after James.
You were unsure of what exactly you were going to say to him, but something was better than nothing.
The house was huge and you weren't exactly sure which room he had gone into.
You decided on his bedroom.
You slowly opened the big oak door before entering quietly.
He wasn't in there, but it still caught your attention.
A strange feeling overwhelmed you as you took in the detail of the room James shared with his wife.
Jealousy? Guilt? You couldn't quite put your finger on it.
Everything was perfectly clean. On one bedside table sat a picture from their wedding day and the other was a picture of Harry.
Chewing your cheek out of anxiety, you stepped closer to the one of James and Lilly's wedding.
You had always been under the impression that they were so in love, so happy. Yet James had done this.
It almost felt like you had dreamt it all.
The door to the bedroom opened, making you jump.
You turned around to see James stood there with an angry look on his face.
"What are you doing?" James grumbled, stepping forward.
"I-I don't know." You muttered, your cheeks growing red.
"You can't do this, Y/N." He demanded, almost like he was telling you off. "I- What happened between us... it can't happen again."
He was frustrated, breathing heavy with his eyebrows furrowed.
You stood there twiddling your thumbs, unsure of what to reply.
"I fucking mean it-" James began pacing back and forth. "Shit, I could get in so much trouble for this, Y/N, you don't understand."
A ball of anger was whirling up inside you uncontrollably at his words.
A little voice inside your head telling you that he used you, he regrets you, he's embarrassed of you.
"You can't just ignore me!" You spat out. "I'm not just someone you can touch like that and then pretend doesn't exist!"
"I don't have a fucking option, Y/N." He came closer to you. "What did you think was going to happen? This can't be anything."
"What did you think was going to happen, James?" You bit back, sick of him talking down to you.
He was taken aback at your words, veins almost popping out of his forehead as he looked as if he was at war with himself.
"Fuck!" He spat, turning his back to you.
You weren't scared of him, he couldn't just use you and act like it never happened.
"You need to stop fucking doing this to me, Y/N." James muttered.
"I-I'm not doing anything!" You expressed, "I just want you to-"
Before you had the chance to finish your sentence, you were pressed up against the wall with his mouth on yours.
It happened all to quickly.
He lifted you up, legs wrapped around him.
James connected his tongue with yours, hands travelling all over you.
"I can't stop fucking thinking about you, Y/N." James muttered against your lips.
You could feel his hard cock pressing into you through his trousers as he pushed himself closer to you.
"Your sweet little moans,"
He pushed your dress up to your waist, hands travelling underneath to your breasts.
"Your tight little pussy,"
You let out a gasp as his cold hands brushed over your nipples.
"You think I haven't always noticed the way you look at me?"
In a swift movement he had you pressed up against the wall, ready to take you from behind. Your dress pushed up to your waist and his trousers around his ankles.
"Not so fucking innocent around you, Y/N?"
You must be dreaming. You must have dreamt this whole thing. There was no way your fantasy was unravelling in front of you.
"Do you want this, baby?"
You nodded with no hesitation.
"Words, kitten."
"Yes, James." You groaned. "I want you."
"Good girl." He muttered as he pushed his cock into you.
You gasped, he was much bigger than you'd ever had before.
It took a second for you to adjust but soon he was thrusting into you.
James couldn't contain himself, fucking you relentlessly as you moaned his name over and over.
"Have you been thinking about this, baby?" James groaned, choking you from behind. "I bet you have."
He was like an animal with stamina you didn't know existed.
"You gonna cum for me, sweet girl?"
You couldn't muster any words in response, just a loud moan harmonising with the clapping of him pounding into you.
It wasn't long before you were riding out your high, another unexplainable feeling he'd given you for the second time.
You tightened around him, only causing him to quicken his pace.
"Fuck-" He choked out as you felt his warm cum between your legs, his thrusts slowing down.
You both stood there attempting to catch your breath.
"No matter how hard I try," James said after a short moment. "I can't get you off of my mind."
"Likewise." You muttered.
"Y/N?" You heard a voice from the hallway. It was Ron.
"Shit." You whispered. "You- You stay here."
You quickly tried to fix your hair, pulling your dress down and trying your hardest to act like you didn't have James cum dripping into your panties.
You walked out to the hallway and smiled at Ron.
"What were you doing in there?"
"Just snooping." You shrugged, grabbing his hand and quickly pulling him back downstairs.
-
part 3 will be up tomorrow!
1K notes · View notes
minswriting · 4 days
Note
okayyy so…. been thinking about jesus reid with his cane lately and i was wondering if you could do a little blurb where spencer is having trouble…. finishing, maybe cuz of his leg (idk how that would work but like) and spencer’s getting all frustrated so coworker!reader offers to help him out and he’s all whiny n shit 🤭
nsfw | mdni
i can imagine this being like he rarely ever has any free time so he tries to get off when he takes a shower but standing for too long hurts his leg. so he went to work without being able to get off. i hope you guys enjoy!! this is fem!reader btw as all of my works are!
warnings: nsfw content, blowjob, female reader, whiny spencer
—————————-
when spencer came into work looking defeated, you immediately knew that something was wrong. you weren’t quite sure as to what it was. but as the genius doctor walked with his cane, you just assumed it was likely to be his leg bothering him. you had felt bad at the fact that he had been shot in the leg and was suffering through walking with a cane. and judging by the look on his face, the one of frustration and annoyance, you could tell it was most certainly his leg that was bothering him.
it was one of those rare days when there wasn’t a case and so the only work to do is paperwork or reading up on old case files. your desk was right next to spencer’s as you looked at your computer to check your emails. you glanced over at spencer, who was reading an old file. he was biting the inside of his cheek as his finger followed along the text, his hair falling to his cheeks. he looked tense and you couldn’t help but speak up.
“spence?” you asked, looking at the genius.
spencer looked up from the file to look at you. “yes?” he replied softly. his voice was usually soft spoken and you loved that about him.
“are you okay?” you asked with a concerned look in your eye. “you’ve seemed frustrated and annoyed all day,” you added.
spencer took a deep breath, stretching his arms. “i-i mean for the most part i am,” he exclaimed, “it’s just this damn leg. it’s been…a hassle really.”
“have you been elevating it?” you asked, tilting your head at your coworker.
“when i can,” he said with a small smile. your concern for him softened his frustrated demeanor. “it’s hard though, alone at home. especially because i have to do everything myself,” he said, licking his lips and running a hand through his hair. “i-uh barely have time to…take care of myself, and when i do, it hurts to stand on my leg for that long,” he whispered nervously, not knowing how you’d react to him.
“take care of yourself how?”
spencer’s cheeks reddened. “i uh you know what? it’s not appropriate, i’m sorry i mentioned anything at all. let’s just not talk about it, yeah?” he said, going back to looking at the file.
your eyes widened as you realized what spencer had meant. you quickly composed yourself, clearing your throat and going back to what you were doing. though with the redness of your own cheeks, it was obvious to tell that his words had some sort of effect on you.
the day went by without anymore conversation with you and spencer which bothered you a bit. it most certainly had felt awkward after that. though you couldn’t help but think about the idea of spencer trying to get himself off, jerking himself off. it was likely he did it most in the shower judging by how this job has early days and very late nights.
today, being the rare day that it was, everyone had gone home at 5:30 PM. when you had gone home, your thoughts were still on spencer. wet, long hair clinging to his skin as he leans on his bathroom wall, looking down at his cock, jerking himself off. you could imagine just how hard it was to stand that long on his leg, especially since you doubted he brought his cane into the shower with him.
around 8:00 PM, you decided it was time to be a good friend and help spencer with his issue.
you knocked on the door of spencer’s apartment. you stood there a bit anxiously, biting your lip as you waited for him to answer. you were wearing the clothes you had worn to work, a black pencil skirt and a red blouse. your hair was down. after a few minutes, you heard the tapping of spencer’s cane before it stopped and he opened the door. his eyes widened as he saw you, not expecting you to be at his apartment.
spencer was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a FBI sweatshirt. you licked your lips nervously, looking at spencer. “oh!” he exclaimed. “y/n, what are you-“ he cleared his throat as he realized his voice was a bit too high. “what are you doing here?”
you took a deep breath. there was no backing down now. “can i come in?” you asked, looking at spencer. he moved to the side, allowing you to come into his apartment. you stepped inside and he closed the door behind you.
he walked over to the couch, taking a seat. you looked around the apartment before you turned to look at your coworker. “so,” you began. “when you told me, you’d been…struggling,” you continued, “i thought perhaps…i could help you.”
“w-what?” he stuttered, looking at you with his beautiful big brown eyes.
you walked over to spencer, your heels clicking on the wooden floor, before you kneels in front of him, between his legs. “i-i could help you if you let me,” you said softly, looking up at him. you put your hands on spencer’s thighs.
spencer licked his lips, looking down at you with a look you’ve not seen before. you could tell that your words had an effect on him, judging by the fact that he was already semi-hard in his sweatpants. “i-is this real?” he whispered.
you nodded your head. “yes,” you whispered back.
“i-if we do this, it’ll effect our whole dynamic,” he whispered, reaching a hand to move your hair out of your face.
you looked up at him, biting your lip. “i want you, spence,” you exclaimed softly. “and you need help. i want to help you,” you said as you moved your hand higher. you began palming him through his sweatpants, causing spencer to moan softly. “can i help you?”
spencer nodded his head, bucking his hips into your hand. “yes,” he said shakily. “please.”
you let out a breath of relief as spencer had given you. you put your hand on the hem of his sweatpants, pulling them down enough to reveal his cock. spencer let out a gasp from the cool air on his cock. it was red and angry, a signal that he hadn’t had relief in a while. his cock was long but not girthy. about seven inches or so in length. you smiled slightly, looking at spencer’s reddened face as he looked down at you.
you gave his cock an experimental tug, causing him to let out a small whimper. the sound was like heaven to your ears. the genius fbi profiler had been reduced to a whimpering mess by a simple tug of his cock. and it was powerful.
you lowered your head, giving the tip an experimental lick. spencer let out a shaky moan, bringing a hand to your hair. you slowly eased your mouth onto his length, stopping about halfway before going back up. your mouth moved up and down slowly, creating a rhythm as spencer whined and moaned, bucking his hips into your mouth.
it was all very new. you’ve of course done this before with other partners. but to do this with your coworker, someone you’ve had a crush on since you began at the BAU, it’s most certainly surreal. and clearly, spencer needed the help. so really you were just being a dedicated coworker.
“oh-oh fuck,” spencer moaned as you hollowed your cheeks, sucking his cock a bit faster. “feels so good,” he whined, closing his eyes in pleasure and throwing his head back. his fingers were entangled in your hair as you sucked him off, tugging at your hair gently. “mm!” he moaned. you hadn’t expected spencer to be so vocal but you didn’t mind it at all. it sent pools of arousal to your cunt, soaking your panties.
spencer began thrusting his hips into your mouth, unable to help himself from doing so and you allowed him to. what you were doing was for him. and if he wanted to use you for his pleasure, you were more than allowing him to do so. “oh my god,” he groaned, thrusting his hips up into you. “your mouth feels so good, y/n,” he said as he opened his eyes to look down at you. your messed up hair, your glistening eyes looking up at spencer, you were absolutely gorgeous.
spencer felt his cock stiffening as the heat in his abdomen grew bigger. he let out a loud trail of, “oh fuck, oh fuck, i’m so close, oh fuck.” he was about to pull out of your mouth but instead, you kept him in your mouth, sucking him off to completion. spencer let out a whine as he began cumming into your mouth with ropes. “oh my god,” he said, shuttering as his load shot down your throat. and being the good girl that you were, you swallowed greedily.
when spencer finished, you pulled off of his cock, leaving a trail of saliva and cum. spencer was breathing heavily, looking at you with a look of lust and gratefulness. he caressed your cheek, running a thumb across your bottom lip before bringing it up to his own mouth and licking it. “thank you,” he murmured to you, grabbing your hand to pull you onto his lap. you were careful to not hurt his leg at all.
“anytime,” you murmured back.
“i think i should show you how thankful i am,” he said before kissing your lips hungrily. and that kiss began a night of immense pleasure to the both of you.
it was safe to say that the two of you were no longer just coworkers anymore.
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gg-pedro · 29 days
Text
spin worlds - joel miller x reader oneshot
masterlist
summary: strings attached are easy enough to ignore when you're only trying to survive. when joel gets hurt, the world stops spinning, and you realize that you matter more to each other than you ever let yourselves believe.
warnings: 18+ MDNI, post outbreak!joel, boston!era, joel x reader, AFAB!reader, protective!joel, implied age gap, non-established relationship, set a few years before tlou hbo, hurt/comfort, non-gratuitous descriptions of a wound, hurt!joel, unprotected piv, fingering, end of the world sex, rough!joel, heavy on the petnames, drug/alcohol use, lots of feelings, its boston QZ joel so, angst with a happy ending, angst with fluff
words: 3.6k
a/n: is this what i really think the people want? maybe! is this what I want? absolutely yes!!!!!!!!!
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-
Hundreds of nights spent with Joel since you’d been in Boston. Thousands of hours, words spoken to each other, yearning to stay in his arms longer and say more. 
The time you had with each other used to feel fleeting. Always after dark, sneaking around the QZ like you were teenagers together. It was a strictly private thing. It was almost like the two of you kept it a secret to feel a kind of thrill again, something from a past life, as if there was still right and wrong in the world and a little bit of something wrong was all you had left. 
That thrill wore off eventually, and you were with Joel for more than just the adrenaline hit. He made things more bearable and cut you deeper all at the same time. 
Flattened on his bed for yet another night, you got the feeling that something was bothering him. 
The sensation of cotton sheets was rough against your skin, acting as a futile means to abate the cold that was swirling through the apartment and raising the hairs on your arms. Your view was of his back, and the long, jagged scar that ran close to his spine. You reached your hand out to touch him and he flinched away.
“‘M goin’ out tomorrow. Without you,” he said, before you even had to ask. “Too many close calls lately.”
His voice was quiet and rough, sore from the dry air. You tried your luck at smoothing a hand across his shoulder, and this time he let himself lean into it.
“Doesn’t seem like that means you should go alone.” You pressed a kiss against his shoulder blade.
He turned his head to the side, not far enough to look you in the eye but far enough to confirm that you were there and not some twisted hallucination that he had dreamed up. “I’ll come back fine. I always do.”
Joel had this talent of convincing others that his word was his bond. He hardly had to try. When he spoke, it was like everyone sensed that they were in the presence of a kind of profit, and that he was privy to some knowledge or confidence that could keep people alive.
It didn’t help that he seemed to hold all of the knowledge in the world– knowledge about the important things. He could fix the leaky faucet in your bathroom blindfolded. Always knew what direction he was going in. Knew how to tie a million useless knots. Could look up to the night sky and point to Polaris like he was pointing to a map of Austin, showing you his old favorite diner that he went to every Saturday. I’ll come back fine. I always do. 
But Joel didn’t know anything. You’d been close enough to see that. He was just as frightened as you. But now more than ever, you wanted to trust him. Turn your back and fall, bet on the fact that he would stop the world from spinning to be there in time to catch you. 
Perhaps you were too easy, too willing to take what he gave. It was still heaven. Heaven, in a crumbling apartment building, sometimes with your restless mind placated by downers, draped across his silhouette. Sometimes you wondered, between the two of you, who deserved this life less. When you thought about it for too long, the answer was always Joel.
“Who are you meeting?”
He rubbed his palm against his forehead in slow circles. “One of my guys. Said he wasn’t gonna smuggle into the QZ anymore, son of a bitch.”
You only hummed in response, working your thumb into the knot in his shoulder. “And you trust him?”
“No.” He turned fully this time, his big hands roaming to the small of your waist and his lips to your jawline. “Sure as fuckin’ hell not enough to bring you out there this time.”
You grinned and smoothed his hair back off his forehead when he looked at you again. “Don’t have any faith in me, Miller?”
“You know that ain’t it, baby doll,” he whispered. “Don’t wanna take any chances with you.”
“Oh, yeah?” You laughed as he pulled you up onto his lap, looking deep in thought as he deliberated over where to plant kisses across your face and neck. “As if you’re ever careful with me.”
“I could be,” he said. “If you wanted.”
“Mmh, I don’t think I do.”
You looped your arms around his neck and he took your face fully into his hands. You felt almost engulfed as he kissed you. There was a fire blazing between you, and it felt like your clothes had melted away rather than been taken off with how quickly they disappeared. Your skin buzzed with desire, blood flowing to your most sensitive points. You felt limp like putty, lying in wait to be sculpted with the rough smearing of his hands across your body.
He was unrestrained in the way that he removed your roaming hands and pinned both arms above your head against the bed. “Y’think this isn’t gentle, princess? Yeah, let me show you rough.”
He split your legs apart, hand traveling to your warmed and wet entrance like a magnet. Three of his fingers were pumping short rhythms into you before you could even breathe, and your vision nearly went white. You writhed, helpless to the desperate moaning that was slipping past your lips until Joel pressed his hand against your mouth.
It all hurt so good. The sparking pleasure came and went so quickly with his movements that it felt like a continuous wave of ecstasy, even if he was stretching you close to your limit. 
He wouldn’t stop murmuring things in your ear throughout. “Think I’m gonna let you out there? Get you hurt? No, baby. I only hurt you ‘cause y’let me. Don’t you, hm? Can’t have you screaming, not with the neighbors.”
Despite his best efforts, he was only muffling the litany of sounds that you were producing as he finger fucked you raw.
After he could tell that he had brought you close to your tipping point, rough hands grabbed your waist and forced you to flip over. He pulled you up on your knees, and he turned your head to the side before forcing it down against the bed.
With one hand he fumbled with his belt, cursing in desperation as he struggled with it for a few moments. He went silent for a beat before white hot pleasure shot through your, and all you could hear was the rough slapping of your bare bodies connecting with each other. 
He was not gentle. It was clear that his pace and frequent position changes were to fulfill only his desires, and your own intense satisfaction was just a byproduct. You couldn’t complain. In fact, it would be foolish to complain. If this is what he was offering, then you would take all that he would give. 
He came quickly. He always did on nights like these, when you had given him some sort of permission to just use you for a while. You stared out to your left, looking for Orion in the cluster of stars outside his apartment’s window. You felt warm liquid spill into you and begin to drip onto your thighs as he continued thrusting. Tears blurred your vision as you followed suit, unraveling into a perfect little mess beneath him. 
“Knew you could take it, honey. You feel okay?”
“Mhm,” you said in a high-pitched tone, biting back tears as he sat you up.
He gathered your naked form into his arms and held you there for a while. He kissed the top of your head, and you wished you could’ve watched the starlight reflecting in his eyes for a little while longer.
“C’mon, I’ll get you cleaned up. Shower,” he said, more of a command than anything.
You followed his directions without responding. It wasn’t him that hurt you, not really. It wasn’t the vulnerability that stung you too deep. It was just the reminder that your relationship with Joel was far from merciful, cut from desperation and an utter decimation of the people you used to be. In another life, you knew that this wasn’t the way you could’ve loved each other.
After a luke-warm shower and a poor attempt of washing yourself clean of sin, you sat at the kitchen table in nothing but one of Joel’s denim flannels. Your hair was heavy and wet with water, leaving dark blue trails down the back of the button-up.
He smoothed an errant strand back from your forehead as he sat in the chair across from you, pouring whiskey from his decanter into two glasses. You suspected he had been drinking before you came over, but you never said anything.
You took a long drink before speaking. “When’re you planning on leaving?”
“Early.” You watched him pop a few white pills in his mouth and down the entirety of his glass. “Back before dark.”
“Could’ve just used water,” you mused. “Do you want me here when you get back?”
He looked over at you fully, that lazy smile and those sweltering brown eyes. “Hard times, darlin’. Hard times.” He removed his gaze to shake a couple more pills out of the cloudy plastic bag, leaning over the table to drop them next to your half-empty cup. “And yeah, I do. Stay.”
You stared blankly at what was in front of you, shaking your head. “Let me come, Joel.”
“You can’t negotiate with me on this. It’s a hard no.”
“Just don’t be an idiot. Please,” you bargained. “This doesn’t feel right.”
You watched him stand and walk over to you, resting a large hand on your upper back. “I’ll be back before dark,” he said again.
You looked up at him. “And if not?”
“I’ll be back.” He leaned down to kiss your temple. “I will be.”
You nodded. “I’ll be here.”
“Good,” he all but whispered. “Good, that’s all I want.”
-
True to his word, Joel was out early. 
Doubly true, with blood and sweat dripping from his hairline and into his eyes, Joel dragged himself forward as the sun set over the harbor.
November in Boston. Brutal, wintery wind whipped past his face and stung the open wounds that had been hashed into his skin. His vision swam, and he brought his sleeve up to his head again to try and stop some of the bleeding coming from the left side of his head.
You were right. Always right about nearly everything, you were. It was a trap. Maybe he could’ve taken the three guys that met him at the deal site if you had been there too, but he razed each one alone and hardly made it out alive.
You. He would’ve stopped a few miles ago if it weren’t for you. In the moment he could’ve cursed your name and damned you to hell for what you drove him to do. He could’ve sat on the curb, rested his aching back against that old lamppost with moss and flora to cushion his injured head. Shut his eyes and die already, a death that would’ve been so easy, one that he begged for a million times.
You. He stared up to the sky, praying to something that his directions were right as his eyes landed on the north star. A mile or two east, and he’d be at the QZ. His blurred vision made the light astigmatic, so he could only hope.
The pistol in his back pocket felt red hot as he stumbled eastward. The only force driving him forward was the thought of putting a bullet through the head of anyone that touched you.
This was his fault, afterall. He should’ve taken someone. Maybe it was your fault then, for mattering so much to him that nothing could bring him to put you in even the slightest bit of danger. No, none of it was your fault. Nothing was. You deserved a whole world that Joel couldn’t give you.
He’d get to you. He would.
-
Making good on his promise, you woke up cold in his empty bed.
You could’ve sworn you saw your own breath freeze in the air, through sunlight that shone through the infinite planes of the apartment. You reached a bare arm up towards the ceiling, trying to catch some of the warmth that it gave.
You had an entire day of work ahead of you, likely doing maintenance on the water system or making house calls to troubleshoot issues with the electricity. Life here had made you more useful and skilled than you had ever been before, and sometimes work felt like a welcome distraction. 
You got yourself up and dressed, picking up around his place before you made it out the door. The discarded pills on the kitchen table swirled down the sink along with yesterday morning’s coffee.
You knew how to take care of yourself more than he did. You weren’t sure why Joel fought you so hard on some things.
On the return trip to his apartment far past dinner time, you were smeared with dried sweat and soot. Your eyes passed the stars, and you repeated a silent prayer to yourself that Joel had already beat you home. 
Scaling the stairs to the third floor, you saw that fate had cruelly twisted your own wishes.
“... My fucking god, J– what happened? Hey, hey, look up at me, please–”
You were crouched before Joel’s slumped figure, barely aware enough to respond to your voice or your touch. His flannel shirt was torn, exposing a bloodied white undershirt rising and falling along with his rapid breathing.
He had a hand almost glued to this side of his head, stained with dried blood. He made a strained groaning noise as you pried it away to reveal a nasty gash to the area. You could’ve screamed yourself at the mere sight of the state he was in.
It was clear that he only had the strength to drag himself to his own front door because you had been idiotic to lock it before you’d left that morning. A stupid force of habit left over from a lifetime where locked doors and tidied apartments actually mattered. 
“Don’t… don’t, m’hurt, just…” his voice trailed off as his glassy gaze passed over your face. He was still trying to catalog you, ensure that you were still in one piece even while he was in stitches.
“I know, I know… you have to get up with me, Joel. Give me something here, fucking hell– on three, okay?”
You managed to get him to his feet as you jammed the key into the door and shoved it open. You were shouldering most of his body weight as you helped him to the first available chair at the kitchen table. Aside from his head, there was no other major injury to his body– it was mostly fine grazes and blossoming bruises on his chest and arms. You filled a glass with water and poured it over the wound on the left hemisphere of his head, trying to clear away some of the dried blood that had matted down his curls.
He writhed in his seat and you tried to soothe him with gentle words and touch as often as you could. It was deep, as if he’d been hit with something dull, but not deep enough to be fatal itself. You exhaled at that conclusion and begged to the ceiling that you were correct about it. 
You sterilized the area with whiskey poured onto a kitchen rag and bit your lip as Joel hissed and swore in response. You made him hold the cloth there as you scavenged the apartment for something, anything that could be considered proper to wrap the area with.
“Bad deal… it went bad, baby, I tried… thought they were gonna hurt you here…” he mumbled to you once you returned with a t-shirt you had begun to shred into ribbons.
“Hurt me? I’m fine, and god, you aren’t. I’m fine. Nobody’s gonna hurt me. Us,” you added quietly, slowly removing his hand from his head again.
“Mkay… ow, you’re killin’ me, darlin’, s’fine, you don’t gotta do all that,” he said weakly.
You said nothing as you tried wrapping the makeshift gauze tightly enough to still apply pressure around his head. Realistically, he needed stitches, or at the very least some sort of proper medical assessment. Curfew had already passed and doctors were few and far between to begin with, so you could only hope that this would be enough to stop the bleeding. Keep him awake and alive.
When you were finished, you slumped down in the chair next to him, your hand still gripping tightly onto his shoulder. “What’s your birthday?”
“Why’re you–”
“–Answer me, Joel, I swear to god–”
He squeezed your hand limply. “September 26th. It’s November now, ‘18, I think? What, you want me to say my ABC’s too, or…”
Your laugh cut him off, shaky and very nearly turning into a sob. “I hate you. I hate you so much, you know that? I told you not to be an idiot, and you…” your voice trailed off, and he took both of your hands into his.
“I know. Hate you too, baby… can’t believe you patched me up.”
You couldn’t believe it either, or the fact that he cared enough about you to drag himself from the city back to the QZ out of fear that whoever had hurt him was going to hurt you, too. If that wasn’t the closest thing to love you’d ever been shown, you didn’t know what was.
He slept very carefully in your arms for a few hours that night, after you had gently washed the rest of his body and cleaned some more of the noticeable wounds. You couldn’t sleep at all, kept awake by a compulsion to check the bleeding on his head and make sure that he was still breathing through all of it. 
Despite it all, the two of you didn’t feel fragile. Something unspoken was heavy in the air, something that said you both cared for each other so deeply that no circumstance could stop you from taking care of each other. Joel would do it for you, too. In the meantime, you were glad he didn’t have to.
-
In the morning Joel explained how he’d been jumped by his supplier and a few of his friends, and how he’d lost both the ammunition he was trading and the opiates and cigarettes. You thought that was a small price to pay for escaping with his life, but his stubbornness fought you on that point. 
You paid a sort of friend of yours– a former nurse– all of your ration cards from the last week to stitch up his head the following afternoon, much to Joel’s utter dismay and protest.
“It’s already done. I already paid,” you had told him, staring into his eyes with a hand cupped to his cheek. “Please just let him. Please.”
For you, your words said. For you, I would. 
He said nothing, but he sat for the few minutes of what must’ve white-knuckling pain to let the wound be sewn shut. I would, too, he echoed back. For you. You held his hand through it, even if that comfort was more for you than it was for him.
You forced him to just rest with you for the rest of the afternoon, hoping that the expired antibiotics you had been saving would nip the traces of the fever he had started to run. If that didn’t work, you promised him you would look for something that did.
Staring up at you in bed, he tucked your hair behind your ears and looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t. “You didn’t have to do all this, y’know. It was my own fault.”
“I did, though,” you replied as you smoothed your thumb across his cheek. “I  couldn’t do all of this without you.”
He cracked a smile. “Don’t flatter me just ‘cause I’m dyin’ over here. You’re better than me at ‘all of this’.”
You had hoped that your effort to keep him alive would’ve told him that you did in fact need him, almost more than anything, but in the moment it was fine. You would show him a million times over if that's what it took.
Instead, you rolled your eyes. “You aren’t dying. Don’t be an asshole. I do need you. How else would I spend my time if I didn’t have you to worry about?”
“Don’t know.” He grinned up at you. “You’d be a hell of a lot richer, I think. Not wasting all your rations on some old man.”
“Mmh, maybe, but I like to spoil you,” you said through a smile.
He pulled you down next to him with a soft c’mere, and you laughed as he tucked you in close to him and he buried his face in the space between your neck and shoulder. You could tell the wear on his body was making him achy when he tensed before having to let you go.
You smoothed his hair off his forehead, your fingers brushing against the clean bandages wrapped around his head. “I’ll run you a bath, if you want.”
He shut his eyes against the cool touch of your hand and nodded. “That’d be nice, honey. Real nice.”
That’s all he would ever have to say. Even less and you’d still do anything for him. He would never even have to ask.
-
246 notes · View notes
sonamytrash · 1 month
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Nothing exciting
❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃
Tags: Levi x Reader, pregnancy, secret pregnancy, Fluff, Krista is a cutie.
❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃
The mess hall was a cacophony of clanging silverware and low conversations, the air thick with the scent of fried onions and meat. Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Ymir, Reiner, and Krista sat at their usual table, their eyes trained on you and Levi, who were sitting a few tables away. They had been watching you both ever since they had seen the scene at the stables, and now they couldn't help but wonder how long it had been going on for. The group had spent the better part of the last few days speculating about the nature of your relationship, with each member offering their own unique theories.
There was you, with your playful demeanor and unabashed affection. It was like a breath of fresh air in the otherwise stuffy environment. And Levi? Well, he was the strong, silent type; the rock upon which the survey corps relied.
The interactions between the two of you were fascinating to watch. Even the most casual of glances or gestures seemed to carry a weight of meaning that the others didn't quite understand. The way you both would sneak a touch or a quick brush of fingers against each other's arms as you passed one another, was enough to send the more observant scouts into a frenzy of speculation.
Sasha leaned in, her voice low but curious. "I wonder if they've been hiding this from us all this time," she mused. "They've always seemed so close, but I never would have guessed..." She trailed off, lost in thought.
As they continued to watch, Krista couldn't help but smile whenever she saw you both stealing a moment of privacy, or when Levi would blush and avert his gaze at one of your more forward advances. The air seemed charged with an electricity that was palpable even from across the room. Her curiosity getting the better of her, "Do you think they've been dating long?"
Reiner shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Hard to say, really. They've always been pretty close. You remember, back when we first joined up? They were inseparable even then." He turned back to his meal. "It would be reasonable to assume they have been hiding it all this time."
Armin, who had been listening quietly to the conversation, piped up. "I heard they grew up together in the underground," he said, his tone thoughtful. "They must have some pretty deep history between them, and their reasons for keeping things quiet, it isn't unusual given the nature of this line of work for them to be cautious."
Mikasa couldn't help but wonder how you must feel during the times when the scouts were beyond the walls. It was one thing to be apart for a few days or weeks, but when the missions lasted for months at a time. The thought made her heart ache for you just a little.
Ymir decided to chime in with a suggestive joke. "There must be something about the miserable bastard that makes her like him. Maybe he's packing." she says suggestively, earning a few chuckles from the others. "You guys are at the stables this afternoon, right? You'll have to tell us if anything exciting happens." She adds, looking over at Krista and Armin.
The mess hall emptied out, and the scouts went about their business. Some to train, others to muck out the stables or tend to the horses.
You were in your element when you were around the horses. You had a way with them that was both gentle and firm, earning their trust and respect without fail. The soldiers looked up to you, admiring your knowledge and your dedication. You were strong, capable, and unapologetically yourself.
Which is why it seemed so unusual when Hange stopped by and told you to be careful around the horses, "Don't push yourself too hard and to make sure to gave the soldiers more work to do." Their words were softly spoken, meant only for you, but they carried weight nonetheless. Krista and Armin overhead the conversation and quickly averted their gaze, looking at one another with the same questionable look. Hearing you insist that you were fine and not to worry. It wasn't long before the captain himself made an appearance, walking straight over to you, his expression softening but still relaying something that only you seemed to understand as you sighed at him, leaving the stables.
After mucking out the stalls and exercising the horses, Krista was keen to hop into the showers. As she turned the corner, she let out a sigh of frustration as she approached the bathroom door, an out of order sign taped to it. Her heart sank. "Great," she muttered under her breath. The alternative facilities weren't as nice or warm as the main showers they would have to do. With a sigh, she decided to brave the less-frequented bathroom at the other wing end of the building.
As she approached the familiar bathroom door, she could hear muffled sounds coming from within. Curious, she placed her ear against the wood, and she heard someone retching violently, followed by the sound of someone vomiting into the toilet. She quickly knocked on the door. There was no reply, so she knocked again, a little harder this time. "Excuse me, are you okay in there?" She asked, concerned.
The sound of the door swinging open made her jump. Your face was pale and clammy, "Oh, hi Krista," your voice soft. "I didn't expect anyone else to be here. The water in here is always cold, you know that, right?" You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, a blush creeping across your cheeks.
Krista swallowed hard, her heart still racing. "Are you okay?" she asked concerned, her voice barely above a whisper. She couldnt help but notice that you were wearing your casual clothes, and the faint outline of a bump was visible beneath your shirt. Her eyes widened, the conversation between you and Hange at the stables, the captains attitude towards you still doing strenuous activities all made sense very quickly.
You smiled at her realisation, "Well, I'm not feeling my best right now, but I'll be fine." You paused, leaning against the door frame. "And I guess this means the cat is out of the bag." You chuckle to yourself.
"Look, Krista, there's something I need you to promise me." Your voice taking on a gentle but serious tone. "You can't tell anyone about this, you understand?" You gestured to your midsection, your fingers grazing the fabric of your shirt. "My uniform just about hides it for now, I know it won't be long before it's too obvious. But it would just be easier to keep things quiet for as long as possible. You know how it is around here, people talk." You explain.
Krista nodded. "I-I won't say anything, I promise." She bit her lip, feeling both honoured that you trusted her with the information, still completely shocked.
"Thank you, Krista." You reply relieved, "I don't know what I'm going to do. The survey corps isn't exactly known for its family-friendly policies." Your brow furrowed, and you ran a hand through your hair, tugging at the roots as you let out an exasperated sigh.
Krista nodded understandingly, not used to seeing you like this. Her usual passion began to shine through in an effort to be supportive and positive about the situation. A baby was surely a wonderful thing. "I'm sure there's got to be a way to make it work. You're a valuable member of the team. We need you here! and I'm sure Captain Levi will do whatever it takes to make it all work out to-" She bit her lip, hesitant before continuing, realising she had just assumed Levi was the father, confirming your previous comment about how people gossip around the headquarters. "It is Levi's, right?" She asked, blushing furiously, her voice barely above a whisper. Your face lit up, and you smiled at the mention of Levi's name as you let out a small giggle.
"Is it that obvious, huh?" You ask, slightly embarrassed that your relationship with the captain seems to have become common knowledge, you had both done such a good job of hiding it for so long. "That's one of the reasons I need you to keep it between us. You know how he is." You say, rolling your eyes playfully "He can be a real pain about our private life. Hange knowing makes him nervous enough." You chuckle.
Krista smiles sweetly and nods, "How did Captain Levi take it?" she finally asks, her voice curious, the question was burning in the back of her mind and she knew if she didn't ask now, she would never find out. The smaller details and intricacies of your relationship were fascinating to her. Having watched from afar all these months.
You hesitated for a moment, then smiled, it wasn't like you had been able to share this news with many people. "He was... surprised, at first," you chuckled. "But once he got over the shock, he was actually really happy. He's been so supportive, you know? I know he doesn't come accross as the fatherly type, but I know... I know he'll be a great dad." You said affectionately, resting a hand on your small bump. Krista smiled brightly, reaching out to take your other hand and squeezing it lightly.
"Congratulations, that's amazing, really! And a little scary, too, I imagine." She said thoughtfully. "But when you're ready, everyone will support you. Of that I'm certain." She said in an effort to reassure you. You smiled at her "Thank you, Kris. I appreciate it."
The next morning, as the group walked past the stables, Krista saw you sat down, leaving the more strenuous tasks to the cadets, Levi by your side drinking tea quietly, keeping an eye on you no doubt. You smiled sweetly as your eyes met hers, and you gave her a knowing wink. She smiled back at you, Ymir raised an eyebrow. "What was that about?" Krista shook her head, "Nothing exciting."
325 notes · View notes
sunflower-lilac42 · 3 months
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✧ 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐞 || quinn hughes ♔
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album & song: fearless (taylor's version) ; you belong with me (taylor's version)
summary: y/n always thought she was the one for quinn, and he slowly starts to realize it too
pairings: quinn hughes x neighbor!friend!reader, temporary quinn hughes x fem!oc
warnings: small mentions to throwing up, sad quinn, asshole girlfriend, quinn thinking he's not good enough, mentions of an injury (reader's)
notes: it's been a while since i posted not related to flowers and it's been a while since i posted an actual fic fic in general so here it is. i think my cole fic might be out next but no promises and yeah. hope you guys enjoy it and be sure to leave your requests in the inbox or just message me in general. story notes -> i totally forgot that in the music video they are actually neighbors, so i guess that's a bonus. they met in 2021, so they have been friends for 3-4 years. quinn started dating chloe in 2022 (probably near the end of the year, so it’s been a year-ish) look for the music video easter eggs because i took a lot of inspiration from it since it's literally one of my favorites! also she does stuff for the social team because it's important for the plot (well for one part). the time doesn't really matter in this story but if you're confused just let me know. if there is a time it is supposed to happen, i'm pretty sure i mentioned it. add yourself to the taglist ➺ taglist!
publish date: 01/21/24
fearless masterlist | nhl x ts masterlist | nhl masterlist | main masterlist
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‘you're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset she's going off about something that you said 'cause she doesn't get your humor like I do’
She had just sat down in the living room when she heard voices, more like a voice, outside her door. It really wasn’t her business to know who it was but they were standing outside of her door, so she took it as her duty to know what was going on outside her apartment. 
She walked to the door, abandoning her dinner and computer on the couch. She placed her head right up against the door, her ear straining to hear anything being said. It didn’t take long for her to recognize the voice of her friend, Quinn. He sounded lighthearted when he said, ��I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
Y/n assumed it had been at least a minute or two since Quinn had spoken last, her ear starting to hurt from being pressed against the door for that long. When the man outside her apartment finally spoke again, his tone was much different than before, “I was just making a joke, Chloe.”
There was more silence before she could hear him again, “No you always blow things so out of proportion. It was just a fucking joke you don’t need to get so upset about it. I was listening to you talk and I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
Once again silence, and y/n could only assume that Quinn was being yelled at from the other end of the line. She rolled her eyes, she never really liked Chloe, though she only met her once maybe twice. She was always mad about something, and usually, it was because of something stupid. She usually made underlying digs about y/n and her job, stating that she only took it because of the guys and how she wanted to meet someone.
She heard Quinn speak a few more times, mostly mumbling profanities and more thoughts that he wouldn’t even dare to say to her face. It was silent for quite some time after that, not even movement from the man outside as he just stood in front of his door staring at his phone dejectedly. 
Y/n stood up and straightened herself out before opening the door slightly and peeking her head out. Quinn looked in her direction as he heard the door click open and gave her a small smile.
“You okay?”
Quinn only smiled before responding, “Tired of drama.”
She frowned, “Sorry.”
He just shrugged, fiddling with his keys in his pocket. Y/n turned away, looking back at the pot of Mac N Cheese that sat on her stove, ready to offer Quinn to come inside, but when she stuck her head back out into the hallway she noticed that Quinn had already made his way inside his apartment. 
She sighed before stepping fully back into her entranceway, shutting the door behind her. All she could think about were the three words that she had been wishing to say since she met Quinn.
✧༺✎༻∞
‘i'm in my room, it's a typical tuesday night ‘i'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like ‘and she'll never know your story like I do’
It was a game day for the Cancuks meaning that not only was Quinn at Rogers Arena but y/n as well. She was wearing her fleeced-line leggings with a long-sleeve t-shirt, her Canucks cardigan thrown over it. She hadn’t had a chance to wash her hair so she just threw a beanie on top and decided it was good enough.
She had been in her office since the boys had left for the locker room, editing and sending pictures to the social team. She had her earbuds in, not wanting to disturb anyone if they were still at the arena working as well. She was listening to the playlist Quinn had made for her when she found out he played for the Canucks.
When y/n moved in next door to Quinn, he had already been playing with the team for two whole seasons. Quinn had been walking out of the apartment building when he noticed the girl struggling to carry up all of her boxes from the UHaul to her new apartment. He offered to help her, especially since it was a rare day where he didn’t have a game nor did he have practice.
He ended up offering her to have dinner at his place when he realized they were next door neighbors. That night she ended up explaining to him how she got her BA in art and design and got a minor in sports management. He was surprised when she told him she was starting a new job for his team.
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
“Yeah, I got my ba in art and design and then I decided to get a minor in sports management just because I was hoping that would boost my chances of getting a job for a sports team, which ended up happening.”
Quinn raised his eyebrows as he cut up his food, “Oh really? Who are you working for now?”
She sallowed the piece of food in her mouth before wiping her mouth with her napkin, “I’m working for the Vancouver Cancuks. I was pretty surprised when they said they wanted me, I mean they are an NHL Team.”
Quinn choked on the water he had been drinking when she said the Canucks, “You’re wokring for the Canucks?”
She looked at him oddly as he coughed up the water, his eyes watering. She didn’t understand why he was acting like this, “Yeah? Is there a problem that I’m not aware of?”
“Um, I play for the Canucks.”
Her eyes widened, “No fucking way.”
“Yeah, Quinn Hughes, number 43.”
“Oh, that’s a weird coincedience, I guess. I mean how often does stuff like this happen?”
Quinn chuckled, “Not very.”
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
Later that night Quinn had taken her phone and made a playlist for her of the songs that always made him feel better before a game or just in the morning when he was on his way to practice. Ever since then, she had listened to that playlist when she needed a pick-me-up, wanting something familiar to her. 
She understood why Quinn liked this music before a game, it was upbeat and productive music for her. She was able to go into work mode when the song played, cleaning her office, editing photos and adding graphics to them when the social team asked for some extra help.
When she was done she sighed when she saw it was 11. She knew she shouldn’t be driving this late at night but she had no other choice. She walked out into the hallway and walked outside the arena. It was cold in Vancouver, snow was falling on the ground. She wrapped herself tightly in her winter jacket as she made her way to her car but paused when she saw Quinn heading to his own.
He turned when he heard footsteps coming from behind him and waved when he saw who it was, “Hey, y/n/n!”
“Hi Quinny. Didn’t expect you to be staying here this late.” 
The boy shrugged, “Had a lot to talk about tonight, I guess.”
She nodded, “Yeah. Sorry about the loss.”
Quinn just sighed and nodded, “Thanks. Do you want a ride home? I know you hate driving home in the snow, especially when it’s this late- wait what were you doing here this late?”
She blushed but it went unnoticed due to the fact that her cheeks were already turning a slight shade of pink from the cold, “I was editing photos and doing some stuff for the social team. They like it when I help, which is weird because I didn’t even really go to school for that. Also why do you know that I don’t like driving home in the snow?”
Now it was Quinn’s turn to blush, “I just remembered I guess.”
The two got in his car, Quinn reassuring her that they could go back in the morning to get her car. The first ten minutes of the ride back their aparments was silent, the quiet sports channel of the radio playing in the background. When they brought up the Canucks lost from that night, she could tell Quinn got tense since his knuckles turned white as they gripped the steering wheel. 
“You okay?”
Quinn relaxed a little at her voice but his body was still tense a little, “Yeah, just… I feel horrible right now.”
“Did Chloe ever text you? You know, to say something about the loss?”
That was a worse question. Quinn was annoyed at the question and also upset. She hadn’t texted him, in fact the two hadn’t talked in five days with Chloe being across the country doing a string of photo shoots. He shook his head, “Nah, she’s probably sleeping, it’s like what? Three in the morning there?”
She just nodded her head and moved her head to look out of the window again. She watched as they past buildings, still mesmerized by the snow and how it fell on the ground and on the buildings. She looked back over at the boy to now see a sad look on his face, “I know how you feel, Quinn. And just know, it’s not your fault.”
“But it is though, right? I’m the captain, I’m supposed to make them better, I’m supposed to lead them to victory.”
“You can’t make them play better, Quinny. That’s what practice is for. You’re there to motivate them, inspire them, help them. You can’t make them do anything. Trust me, I know.”
Quinn looked at her in confusion, “You do?”
“Yeah, I was the captain of the girls hockey team in college.”
“You played hockey?” Quinn asked, a grin making its way onto his face.
She shrugged, “Yeah. I was okay, I guess.”
“Okay? If you were the captain you had to be more than okay.”
She nodded, “I was captain for only half of a season and then I got injured. Really set me back, especially during senior year. I was supposed to be out for almost the rest of the season. I could’ve played if we made the playoffs but we didn’t. And that was the extent of my hockey career.”
Quinn could see how sad she looked talking about this so he was quick to change the subject. The two were now talking about random nonsense, saying whatever was coming to mind until they reached the doors of their apartments.
“I should not have stayed at work that long. Tomorrow’s going to be a pain in the ass.”
“You’re telling me, I hate back-to-backs. We play well for the first one and then suck ass for the second because of how tired we are.”
“Well, you sucked ass today so maybe you’ll play well tomorrow.”
Quinn laughed at this, shooting her a smile, “Or maybe we’ll suck ass even more.”
✧༺✎༻∞
‘walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans i can't help thinking this is how it ought to be laughing on a park bench thinking to myself hey, isn't this easy?’
It was one of the rare off days that the two of them had and Chloe, as usual, wasn’t around. The two were quick to set up plans with one another and go walking around. When y/n walked out of her partment she saw Quinn standing otuside of his, getting ready to text her, “Hey.”
The boy looked up from his phone and smiled, “Hey.”
Y/n gave Quinn a once over, noticing his pair of worn-out jeans, “You need some new jeans there, Quinner?”
He laughs, “Probably, but I never have time to go shopping.”
She grins, “Well luckily we are going out so we can go get somethings. Come on!” She grabs his arm and pulls him to the elevator, the two sneaking glances at one another as they wait for it.
Quinn offered to drive them around, but she immediately said no, wanting to be able to walk around. The boy was amused by her immediate response and nodded, “Okay okay. We can walk, you weirdo.”
“Hey! Thank you for noticing.” She smiles and the two walk around downton Vancouver for awhile, stopping at a clothing store to get new jeans for him.
About an hour later all Quinn could hear was the complaints coming from the girl, “I’m tired. My feet hurt. And ‘m cold.”
“I told you we could’ve taken the car.” He threw an arm around her shoulders, allowing her to lean some of her weight onto him.
“But I wanted to walk- Quinn look!”
He looked over to wear y/n was now pointing and noticed the small ice cream shop on the corner, “Ice cream? It’s like 30 degrees out.”
She gave him a look, daring him to argue with her, “So?”
He held his arms up in surrender, lifting his arm from her shoulders leaving her feeling colder than before. His arm felt a little colder too, actually his whole right side of his body felt colder as she moved away from him. They both looked at each other with awkward smiles on their faces before he ushered her to move forward, “Well come on then.”
She grinned and followed after him, a new found pep in her step. When they got their ice cream, they made their way over to the park and sat down on one of the benches. Quinn was not fond of this idea, his whole body was cold and with him eating ice cream now, he sure as hell wasn’t getting any warmer.
They were talking about the upcoming banquet for the team, “I don’t understand these banquets. I don’t wanna go.”
Quinn whined like a little kid making y/n erupt in laughter. It was easy between them, they didn’t have to force conversation whenever they were together, they worked together so they saw each other almost all of the time, they understood each other’s life styles, each other’s humor. Quinn could always talk to her about hockey which was nice especially when it was a hard game. 
That’s all y/n could think about as they sat on the bench, how easy it was. She didn’t want to be selfish but truly, why was Quinn with her? She had never once heard her ask him how his game went, he always told her that she was busy at a premier or doing whatever she was doing while she was away. She always yelled at him over the phone, she acted possessive, truly she felt bad for Quinn. He deserved better.
✧༺✎༻∞
‘and you've got a smile that can light up this whole town i haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down’
Quinn’s smile was y/n’s favorite thing in the world. It made her smile, it made others smile, it was contagious. Every time she would be taking pictures on the ice and she would see Quinn with a smile plastered on his face she took a picture, and usually saw others around him smiling as well. 
Truth be told, it was rare with Quinn smiled, at least a full one. The most she got out of him lately was a small smirk or a tiny side grin when she would make a joke or any time they ran into each other really. She didn’t know if it was him just being him and not wanting to smile or if it was Chloe.
They had a fight a couple weeks ago, probably the worst one yet. She had been granted a small leave from the photo shoot so she came back to see Quinn, which shocked him. He had come home late from the game, they had won by a landslide and Quinn had gotten his first win as captain. They went out for drinks, even inviting y/n and some of the wags to go with. She accepted and made friends with some of the girls, some even joking that she would be one soon. 
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
Y/n might have had a little too much to drink, causing Quinn to have to drive her home, as usual. Quinn laughed as she stumbled down the hallway, talking about how she got so many pictures of him from tonight’s game, “I’m sure you did.”
She giggled, “I did! Believe me! They are all on my computer, I should make you my background.”
The boy blushed and shook his head, “Okay. I think you’ve had way too much to drink. Come on, where’s your keys?”
She could only mumble now, becoming increasingly tired as the thought of her bed on the other side of the door plagued her mind, “Pocket.”
Quinn reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the keys, keeping her upright with his arm wrapped around her waist. He unlocked the door and ushered her inside but before they even got a step into the apartment, Quinn’s door opened, “Quinn!”
Quinn looked suprised as he looked at his girlfriend standing in the entry way of his home, “Chloe? What are you doing here?”
“They gave me a break so I thought I would come and surprise you but I see you’re a little busy.”
A heavy glare settled on her face and Quinn looked apologetic, “Let me just get her inside then we will talk.”
Chloe only rolled her eyes and scoffed, walking back into his apartment. Quinn moved y/n to her bed, taking off her shoes and her jacket, “You need anything before I go?”
She shook her head. Quinn smiled at her before patting her calf and walking out of her apartment and into his own. It was only five minutes later that she could hear the screaming from the neighboring home. Y/n groaned at the noise before getting the urge to puke.
She ran into the bathroom and emptied her stomach into the toliet, groaning from the action. She leaned her head against the wall and listened to the sound of the two bickering back and forth. Ten minutes later and she still sat there when there was a slam followed by footsteps outside in the hallway. 
She frowned when she heard something being thrown across the room and sighed to herself, wishing she could help him.
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
And ever since then, Quinn’s smiles had been slim to nonexistent even when they won a game, or he scored a goal. When they hung out and watched a comdey movie he didn’t smile, just a small upturn of his mouth and that was it. 
Now it was the beginning of November and everyone was buzzing from the incredible start the Cancuks had gotten off to. They were currently 8-2-1 going into the game against the Oilers and they were hoping to extend their win streak to four. 
Y/n was walking around in her usual attire in the arena, gathering pictures for later. She had gotten plenty from warm-ups and during the periods, taking a small break during intermissions before heading down to get some in the tunnel. 
Everyone erupted in cheers when the game was over, they had won 6-2. Y/n quickly put her skates on to head out for the stars of the game, trying not to get in anyone’s way as she did her job and they did theirs. She smiled when they announced Quinn as first star of the game, watching as he threw a stick over the boards, capturing the moment he turned around with a grin on his face.
All she could think about was that she was definitely going to use this in a video soon, even if Quinn did kill her for it. 
✧༺✎༻∞
‘oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry’
It had been a hard game for Quinn. Not only was it hard for Quinn with it being the Hughesbowl, but it was a hard loss for him and the team. They had done so well of getting back in the game, scoring three in 3rd, but alas it wasn’t enough. 
Quinn was taking it harder than anyone else, claiming how he should’ve done more for the team in order to win. He hadn’t done much the game, blaming it on him for not doing enough for them. Before going out with his family he told them he had to do something, going to y/n’s office and knocking on the door. 
He didn’t get an answer, mostly because y/n had already left since she was extremely exhausted from the amount of running back and forth she had to do during the game. Quinn left disappointed, meeting back up with his family for dinner. 
He came back home and stopped in front of her door, “Y/n/n.”
Luckily, she had been right at the door, doing a little bit of cleaning around her apartment. She heard the whisper of her name, it was barely audible. She opened up the door and smiled when she saw him, “Hey Quinn. What’s up?”
He didn’t say anything, just motioning with his hand if it was okay that he came inside. She stepped aside and the boy walked in, falling down on the couch. She approached him hesitantly, “Quinn? Are you okay?”
He looked up at her with tears in his eyes, “I’m not good enough am I?”
All the emotions came rushing to Quinn. Being constantly compared to his brothers, being constantly asked about them. Chloe was just using him for his money which he finally recognized a couple days ago. He kept being told that he was overrated and that he shouldn’t be captain.
Y/n’s eyebrows furrowed and she walked over to him wrapping him in a hug, “What? Of course, you’re good enough Quinn. Who said that?”
Quinn shook his head, burrying it into her shoulder, “I can’t escape it, y/n. Every where I go everyone is always comparing me to Jack and I’m so sick of it. It’s like I can’t do anything right. I let the team down, I should’ve done better tonight. Now everyone thinks I’m the worst Hughes and someone said Luke shouldn’t even be looking up to me. And they keep telling me I’m a failure.
Y/n’s heart broke at his confession but it shattered when he said the next words, “And no one loves me anymore, y/n/n. Chloe’s just using me, she never wanted me. God I’m so stupid, I should’ve seen it coming.”
She rubbed his back and just let him let out all of his feelings. When it was silent for two minutes she pulled away from him and made her look into her eyes, “Listen to me, Quintin.”
He slightly smiled at the name, “You are no failure, Quinn. Believe me. You have been doing amazing this season, both personally and leading the team. You have led this team to 16 victories this season. And you led them to overtime twice and only lost one of them.”
“Yeah but I still lost them 8 games.”
“You couldn’t have done anything more than what you did, Quinn. You know what your guys’ record was last year through 25 games? 10-12-3. You won 6 more games this year. You have more goals at this point in the season then you did in the entire year last year, Quinn. Who cares that people, who are nobodies to you, are comparing you to Jack? You two have different experiences, you play two differnet positions, you play for two different teams. You do so much for Luke, I promise you. That kid will look up to you no matter what.”
Quinn’s eyes glistened with tears at her words, and the best thing was was that he believed her and that was all that she could ask for. He nodded his head when she was done and slowly unwrapped himself from her, missing the embrace immediately.
She didn’t want him to be sad, or at least leave while sad, so she said the only thing that came to mind, “If it makes you feel any better. I think you’re the best looking Hughes.”
Quinn laughed loudly, wiping the tears from his eyes that were threatening to fall, “Thanks y/n/n.”
“Any time, you want some ice cream?” He only nodded and she got up to get it.
The two spent the next hour and a half eating ice cream on her couch watching a movie, before falling asleep on each other. 
✧༺✎༻∞
‘and I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams think I know where you belong think I know it's with me’
It was a late night for both Quinn and y/n. The two were hanging out in her apartment after Quinn’s practice. They hadn’t had a game that night so they were on her couch watching whatever hockey game was on at that moment.
Y/n was sitting on her laptop editing some photos from the previous game, switching in between tabs quickly. Quinn was in the kitchen making dinner for the two of them after he offered. She could hear the sizzling from the pan and claled out, “What the hell are you making over there?”
Quinn looked down to see the noodles and furrowed his eyebrows, “Noodles!”
“I thought you were cooking up a mean meal, but noodles? I let you into my house and allow you to make me dinner and you make me noodles?”
She walked into the kitchen with her laptop and sat down at the counter. Quinn looked over at her offended, “Hey you said you didn’t care.”
She giggled, “I know. So Chef Quinn, what kind of noodles are you making?”
“Fettuccine.”
“Oh so you’re making me fancy noodles. I’ll forgive you.”
“Why thank you m’lady. Whatcha doing over there?” 
Quinn walked around the counter to look at her laptop, “Are you looking at pictures of my teammates?”
“If we’re being honest here, they are my main models.”
“And I thought I was your favorite.” He placed a hand to his chest before going back to check on the fettuccine.
“You are, I finished yours already. See there’s a folder that’s called ‘Captain Quintin’.” She spun her computer around and showed him, “Awe you love me.”
She shrugged, a blush rising to her cheeks, “Maybe…”
“You want to listen to some music?”
She nodded and pulled up Spotify on her computer, “What’s you’re favorite song?”
“And why do you want to know?”
She looked up at him with a deadpan face, “Are you shitting me?”
He smiled, “No.” He took the laptop and typed in his favorite song and added it to the queue, and then a few more after that.
“What’s your favorite?”
“And why do you want to know?”
“So I can add it!”
“It’s You Belong with Me.”
Quinn quirked an eyebrow but said nothing, making sure that song played first. When it came on, y/n immedaitely started singing it and Quinn looked over at her with a smile. He could get used to this.
When dinner was done, she took her computer back to the living room and sat it down before walking back into the kitchen to sit down at the counter once more, making sure they could both see the TV.
Halfway through eating, Quinn looked over at her, “What’s your dream?”
She finished the piece of fettuccine she was eating and looked at him, “What do you mean?”
“Like what’s your main dream for life.”
She shrugged, “I don’t know. I really like my job so probably keeping that job is part of it. I want to have two or four kids. And I want them close in age or at least two of them are. Like the oldest would be close in age and the youngest would be close in age.”
“Why two or four? Why not three?”
“Because I had two older brothers and they were both like 8 years older than me and I always felt left out. I don’t want my kids to feel like that. I mean not that you are like that with Jack and Luke but at least you guys are close in age right? You guys like the same thing, hell you do the same thing for a living.”
Quinn nods, understanding what she was saying, “Yeah, I see that.”
“What about you? What is your dream Quinn Hughes?”
He looked flustered, “I want to keep playing hockey, of course. I want kids but I don’t know how many. And I want a good partner. I want someone that understands that I have to travel a lot for work and how much pressure it is. I need someone who understands hockey and likes it. Chloe understands it, which is nice.”
She nods and smiles but saddened by the fact he still was with Chloe. She wasn’t good for him and she thought he was slowly starting to understand that. They continued to eat in silence, negative thoughts chewing away at both Quinn and y/n’s minds.
✧༺✎༻∞
‘can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? been here all along so, why can't you see? you belong with me’
Y/n stepped into the hallway, taking out the trash that had been overflowing in her garbage can for the past two days. She took a couple steps and saw Quinn stepping out of his apartment, “Hey.”
She noticed his tux he was wearing, he was fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves when she spoke, “Hi.”
The two stood in an awkward silence before Quinn asked, “Are you going tonight?”
It wasn’t that she forgot the banquet was tonight, it was more of the fact that she didn’t wnat to spend an entire night looking at Chloe wrapped around Quinn. She shook her head, “Nah, I’ve got some work to do.”
He nodded, confused a little since she had said ealrier in the week that she planned on going. He shrugged it off as just a simple plan change and frowned when he looked her in the eyes, “Wish you were.”
She smield and nodded, “I’m sorry to leave you to the wolves, Quinner.”
“You should be, it’s heartbreaking to know that my favorite person isn’t going to be there. How will I survive this evening?”
“You won’t, trust me.” She patted him on the back before going to walk to the garbage chute, “Here, I’ll just take it downstairs, I’m going that way anyways.”
She went to protest but Quinn was already taking it out of her hands and walking away, “Thank you.”
He waved her off, shooting her a smile, “Anytime.”
She walked back into her apartment and walked into her room, staring at the dress that hung on the back of her closet. She didn’t want to go, but after the comment that Quinn made she had a change of heart. She didn’t take long putting her makeup on, curling her hair as fast as possible. She threw on her dress and raced out the door, driving to the venue as quick as she could.
✧༺✎༻∞
‘standing by and waiting at your backdoor all this time how could you not know, baby? you belong with me have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me?’
Walking into the venue, y/n was nervous. She knew little to no people there mostly because her friends had already said they weren’t going or were going to be later than she was. She only knew a few guys on the team, including Quinn, and their wives or girlfriends.
She waved at some of the guys she walked past, lots of people making a clearing for her because of how she looked. Some of the guys that were single looked at her with a wide gaze, trying to decide if she was single or not. 
The piece of paper she had burned a hole through her pocket as she walked. It took Quinn five minutes to notice that she was there, having turned around and locked eyes with her. His eyebrows raised in amusement, a grin maing its way onto his face.
He waved bye to the group he was talking to and started to make his way over to the girl. He only got a few steps before Chloe took him by the arm, “Hey Quinn. I’m surprised you didn’t see me yet. You look so hot tonight.”
Quinn just smiled awkwardly before pulling away and continuing his previous path to the girl. Chloe looked at the two in shock and scoffed, walking away from the growing crowd. When he stood right in front of her he smiled, “I can’t believe you’re here.”
She nodded, “Yeah I had a change of heart.”
The boy couldn’t really make out any words, starstruck by how beautiful she looked. The only thing he could do was reach into his pocket and pull out a folded piece of paper. He straightened it out and showed it to her and she grinned, tears making their way into her eyes as she pulled out her own.
Everyone gasped in awe as they read the signs, both of them saying ‘I Love You’. He pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her cheek, “I can’t believe you remembered.”
“I remember everything about you, y/n/n."
✧༺✎༻∞
‘you belong with me’
It had been a long night, the game had lasted longer than everyone had expected. The two now always drove to and from work together when they could. Quinn would stay after the game until she was ready to go and vice versa.
Right now, they were laying in Quinn’s bed in his apartment, Quinn watching as she edited pictures from tonights game. He had an arm wrapped around her as she laid her head on his chest, her knees brought up so she could lay her computer on them.
He smiled when she kept getting pictures of him and he went to say something, “How many pictures of me do you have?”
She smiled, “You’re my boyfried now, you are going to have a lot of pictures of you taken. Plus, I don’t think the fans would mine, I’m doing god’s work Quinn.”
“What are you trying to say there? Do you think I’m cute?”
A blush rushed to her cheeks, “No, like I said. I’m just doing the fans a favor.” 
Quinn shut her laptop, placing it on the nightstand, “I think you’re doing yourself a favor.”
She hid her face in his chest, “Maybe.”
He laughed and wrapped both of his arms around her, tightenign his hold, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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phthalomushroom · 2 months
Text
The Family (3)
last next
pairings: modern!mafia!aemondxreader
summary: You had left Kings Landing and the Targaryen family four years ago. Now back and living with your old roommate you realize that the life you had thought you escaped had seemingly been waiting for you. But will the family really let you go? Will the people you left behind forgive you? Can you forget the past and look to the future?
word count: 3.3k
warnings: language, mentions of trauma, mentions of shooting, alys rivers, Italians, drunk aemond??
notes: this felt rushed but it is also long - sorry about that, idk what happened I've been super busy!!!
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You hadn’t spoken to Baela the entire way home.
To say you were more than pissed was an understatement. You couldn’t tell if you were more mad at the situation or at your best friend for keeping such monumental information from you. You stormed into your apartment with a plan to shut yourself in your room for the night when Baela stopped you.
“I was told not to tell you.”
You whipped around. “What?”
“Aemond… wanted to be the one to tell you.”
“And how would he have told me?” You had blocked his number and his social media when you left the city, fully shutting him out of your life. She gave a weak smile.“He didn’t say.”
You crossed your arms. 
Baela let out a long breath. “Listen, even if Aemond didn’t ask me not to say anything, I wouldn’t have brought it up.”
“You're my best friend Baela, I should have been told. What kind of friend are you?”
“One that remembers how fucking destroyed you were when you two broke up. One that remembers you leaving the city, fleeing from everyone all because of a fucking guy.”
“Which is why I should have known!”
“Why!” Her voice rose. “So you can run again?”
“I wasn’t running!”
“Then what the fuck were you doing?”
Escaping.
But you couldn’t say that. You couldn’t say that because it would make everything that happened that night too real. It would make everything and everyone you had shut out all these years pointless.
“I couldn’t deal with another 10 hour train ride,” Baela said after a minute of your silence. “Clearly there is still something you have towards Aemond.”
“Baela-”
“Whether it’s feelings or unresolved shit, I don’t know. Just… maybe seeing him, talking to him, will help you.”
She moved past you to go towards her room. She stopped with her hand on the door. “I’m sorry for the part I played in this, but Aemond asked and-”
“You couldn’t say no.”
She frowned, opening the door to step into her room. “He’s the head of the family now since Otto is in jail. You know whatever is asked goes.”
Your heart dropped. 
Aemond was head of the family?
********
You had an awful night's sleep. You tossed and turned, thinking about what Baela had said. 
Aemond was head of the house, he now ran the family which meant he called all the shots. He finally achieved what he had wanted all those years ago, but how he got there is what plagued you.
Your clock was nearing eight in the morning when your phone chimed. You looked at it seeing a message from an unsaved number, your heart sank as you read the screen.
Heard you're back in town, we need to catch up. - A
The fucking bastard. 
You had half a mind to tell him how caught up you were when you decided against it. You threw your phone on your bed and began getting ready for the day, making your way to the kitchen. You saw a note on the table from Baela, apologizing for last night and how she wanted to talk it over more when she got back from the dinner tonight.
You crumbled the note throwing it in the trash. You had already forgiven her in all honesty, you couldn’t be mad at her for long. Besides you were being too harsh on Baela, after all you hadn’t told her anything from that night. She only knew that you and Aemond weren’t together anymore and that you needed to leave right away. In the end you were taking a lot of your frustrations out on her rather than the real person causing it. But to redirect those feelings meant that you would need to talk to Aemond and that wasn’t going to happen.
Not anytime soon anyway.
You sent Baela a quick text telling her all is forgiven and that you would see her when she got back from the celebration dinner. 
You rummaged through the cabinets trying to find anything to eat but it seems like you’d need to do a grocery run. Thankfully you didn’t start full time at work till next week, your employer understood that you needed to settle into your “new” home. 
At least that's what you had hinted at when they asked when you could start.
You put your shoes on and headed out of the apartment, going to the cafe that was a block away from where you lived. From what you remembered this place had the best chocolate croissants and made the best drinks you’ve ever had.
You had just put in your order, sitting at one of the corner tables, scrolling through your phone as you waited for your name to be called, when the chair across from you screeched.
You looked up meeting the delightful green eyes of Alicent Hightower. 
You nearly choked on your spit.
She smiled cheerily at you. “I heard you were in town.”
You smiled back, putting your phone in your bag. “I just got in yesterday, I was gonna call but-” 
She held her hand up. “Best not to, there are prying eyes and listening ears all around that house I swear.”
You laughed. Alicent Hightower had been like a mother to you when your own mother left. When you had come crying to Aemond freshman year when your family was falling apart, Alicent was the one who wrapped her arms around you and let you stay in the house until you were ready to go back.
You still remember her rage when you had told her about the note your mother left.
She truly was one of the things you missed about the Targaryen family. 
“What are you doing on this side of the city?” Alicent, along with most of her family lived in an estate on the East side of the city that overlooked the canal.
“You know this side makes the best pastries.” She gestured to the boxes by her feet. 
“Georginos is pretty stellar.”
She grinned, reaching across the table to give your hands a squeeze. “And how are you doing?”
You put on a convincing smile. “Great, no problems yet.”
She nodded. “Good to hear. After what Aemond told me, I’m surprised you decided to stick around here.”
Your heart dropped. “What?”
“The rats, dear. I don’t know how you and Baela are able to live in an apartment with rats in it.”
You swallowed your confusion. “A lot of traps.”
“Aemond said he’s heading over later to talk with the exterminator, I’m confident he’ll take care of you.”
You nodded along. “Yup!”
She squeezed your hands again. “I’m so happy that you and him could remain friends all these years, I mean I had half a mind to drag him to Winterfell and make nice.”
You nodded along, hoping your face didn’t show the confusion and anger you felt.
“Anyway, what is your number? I've missed our chats.”
You hastily reached into your bag, wanting the uncomfortableness of this conversation to end. You pulled your phone out and along with it, the invite from Alys.
Alicent’s eyes widened, upon seeing the crumpled invitation. She looked up at you smiling. “I was hoping Aemond would take my advice on inviting you.”
You gave a half hearted laugh, shoving the invite back into your bag.
Could this get any worse? 
“So I take it I'll be seeing you tonight then.” She stooped to pick up the pastry boxes. 
Come fucking on.
“I actually wasn’t planning on attending.”
She frowned. “Why not?”
You stumbled over your words. “I’m Aemond’s ex.”
“But you're part of the family.”
“It wouldn’t look good if I came.”
“And why not? You and Aemond are still best friends, it would be absurd for you not to be there.”
“I just don’t think Alys-”
Alicent snorted. “Screw what Alys thinks, I’m the one paying for the whole damn charade. I might as well get a say in who gets to come.”
Just then your order got called. She grinned pushing in her chair. “Till tonight, dear.” 
You watched her walk out, at a loss for words frozen in your seat.
What the fuck just happened?
********
You had managed to fill Baela in on the phone of what happened in the cafe. Telling her about Aemond’s lies to his mother and the insistence of Alicent that you attended the dinner. Baela was able to stop by after work so that you two could walk in together.
You had just managed to find a dress in the back of your closet that would work for the formal occasion, your boxes from Winterfell still hadn’t come yet, to your dismay. The dress was slick black that had a perfect neckline that accentuated your boobs and yet didn’t do too much to make it seem like you were trying. Baela had described it as ‘tasteful sexy.’When you were looking in the mirror you couldn’t remember for the life of you where you had gotten it but didn’t care as you quickly left for the event.
You were already late and you didn’t want to have to spend anymore than an hour at the dinner. Luckily it was at Federicos, the whole place having been shut down for the special event. 
The restaurant came into view as you walked up the street, you could see Jace, Luce, and Rhaena all standing outside waiting. 
“You ready?” Baela asked. “We can bail out now, Luce can vomit on cue.”
“Tempting but gross,” You responded. You let out a long breath fidgeting with your handbag. “If I don’t show up Alys will be smug, and Alicent will hunt me down.”
“You don’t say no to the family.” She squeezed your hand.
You approached your friends, plastering on a smile that you knew you’d have on all night.
Rhaena hugged you first. “Finally, I’ve been trying to get Baela to let me come over to see you.”
“Yeah, it's been a crazy first day back.”
“Are you ready to go in?” Jace asked.
 “Of course, I’ve been wanting those garlic knots since we left last night.”
You hated faking it for them. You’d rather leave, you’d rather not be here. But maybe this was a fateful way of telling you to face your shit head on. So you took a deep breath as everyone filed inside, squared your shoulders and knew that you would get drunk as shit after this.
For now you picked up a cocktail from the bar with the others and sipped carefully, you needed a clear head for the night. You already spotted Alys making her rounds around the room, but hadn’t noticed Aemond among the crowd. You looked around again seeing Alicent sitting at the corner booth, nursing a glass of wine.
“I’m gonna go make an appearance with Alicent,” you told Baela.
You snaked your way through the crowd, all mostly being people from Alys’s side with a few Targaryens and Hightowers mixed in. A part of you wondered why more of the family hadn’t come but those thoughts were put on the back burner when you took the seat across from Alicent. 
She smiled. “Glad you could make it, love.”
“Glad to have been invited.
She waved you off. “Of course.”
“This place looks amazing, Alys really outdid herself.” You looked around at the black and white monochrome decorations that were dispersed around the restaurant. 
“It’s tacky,” she frowned. “And dull.” 
You chuckled. “You are just as blunt as I remember you.”
She lifted her glass. “Always.”
Her eyes drifted over your shoulder just as you heard a voice say your name. You turned to see a wide eyed Aemond Targaryen standing in all black with an empty whisky glass in his hand and a beer in the other. His hair that was cut short the last time you saw him had grown out and was now tied in a bun at the nape of his neck. He was as handsome as ever and the skip your heart did told you everything you needed to know.
You needed to be strong and you needed to be cold. 
You swallowed the panic that rose and instead raised your glass to him. “I guess congratulations are in order.”
That seemed to knock him out of his stupor as he gave you an easy smile. 
You heard Alicent get up from her seat, rounding to her son. “I can take this to the bar, you two should catch up.”
Aemond let her move past him, taking the empty glass from his hand before he slid into the seat opposite of you. He leaned back like he didn’t have a care in the world, his eyes glazed. “You never answered my text.”
“What text?” You took a sip of your drink.
He smirked, taking a sip of his beer. “You never were a good liar.”
“I blocked your number.”
“I got another number.”
You shook your head, he was still insufferable it seemed. “Seems like a lot of trouble to contact an ex.”
“You’re worth it.”
“You're engaged.” You weren’t going to let him win this. 
He leaned forward putting his forearms on the table as he set the beer down. The veins of his forearms strained slightly. “I was going to tell you when we met up.”
“And how would we have done that?”
“Well if you were going to continue ignoring me it was going to be more of an “accidental” meeting. I think that would have been charming.”
You rolled your eyes. “You’re insane.”
“And you are still as beautiful as the day I first saw you.”
“I wonder how Alys would feel about that comment.”
“Alys isn’t here,” he slurred. 
Now that pissed you off. Yes, you hated Alys Rivers but like hell were you going to be treated like some mistress. “You're an asshole, you know that?”
He shrugged, leaning back as he took a swig of his beet. “I don’t understand how I can be the asshole when you're the one wearing a dress that I bought you. That is just insulting to my soon to be bride.”
Your stomach turned. That’s where you knew the dress from. Aemond had gotten it for you on your last anniversary. But if he was going to be an asshole about it, so could you. Strong and cold, that’s what you needed to be. 
You shrugged like he did. “A lot of men have bought me a lot of things over the years, I must have just forgotten.”
Something flickered in his eyes at that, like a fire had suddenly been lit. “You’re lying.”  
“Kinda like how you're lying to your mom about us.”
His face blanched, clearly taken aback. “What are you talking about?”
“We’re best friends? You’re helping with the rats in my apartment?”
He regained his composure quicker than you thought. “We are best friends and I did help with the rats.”
“That was the first week we moved in and it was one.”
He waved his hand. “Semantics.”
“We haven’t talked in years and from what your mother tells me it’s like we talk everyday.”
He leaned on the table again“What are you doing here, (y/n).”
“I was invited by your beautiful fiancee and your mother.”
“No, what are you really doing here?”
You ground your teeth. “Your mother invited me. You don’t say no to the family.”
“Except you.”
“What?”
“Everyone else can’t say no but you.”
You frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“You were always the exception, (y/n). Then, now, always.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“I know that if you really didn’t want to come here you wouldn’t have, rules be damned. So why did you really show up here in a dress I bought you for our anniversary?”
You hadn’t realized it but during your exchanging of words his hands and yours had moved closer, your fingertips just touching.
Just then Alys came around the table sitting on Aemond’s lap, he pulled his hands away snaking them around her waist. “We’re doing toasts soon, honey.”
His eye drifted to you, before he looked at Alys. “I’ll be there in a minute, just need to finish this conversation.”
Alys suddenly looked at you, her eyebrows shooting up as she tried to look surprised. “Oh, you came! I gotta say I didn’t think you’d show.”
You looked at Aemond then. “I’m just here for the celebration.”
She smirked. “Well I hope your gift is nice, gods know enough of these people only gave us cash.”
She stood up then, leaning down and giving Aemond a long kiss. You looked at your now empty glass. 
He pulled away first, giving her a weak smile before she darted off back in the crowd. He folded his arms over his chest. “Celebrating Alys and I’s engagement? Seems very mature of you.”
You scoffed. “And how would you like me to react Aemond? Smash all the glasses, destroy the present table, burn the whole place to the ground?
It was his turn to scoff. “Well at least it would be a reaction, instead of this cold whatever.”
“I have been nothing but polite since we started talking.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”
“Then what are you talking about, Aemond?”
He leaned forward. “You’re shutting me out, putting walls up, being cold.”
“And what’s the problem with that? You were the one who told me to leave, Aemond. Then I come back and you’re trying to act like we’re friends. I don’t know you.”
“You’ll always know me, just like I will always know you.”
“Then how come I look at you and I don’t recognize you.”
“Maybe you don’t want to recognize me.”
“Don’t do that.”
He smirked. “Do what?”
You gestured to him. “Those stupid fucking games - answering my questions with questions, giving stupid fucking philosophical answers.”
He crossed his arms. “And why is that?”
You huffed. “You’re a prick.”
He shrugged. “At least I got some reaction out of you instead of that ice princess bullshit.” His voice went high pitched as he mocked you- “congratulations are in order, beautiful fiancee.”
“Is being nice a crime now in your family?
“No but being a liar and a coward is.”
You rolled your eyes. “Get a grip, Aemond.”
“What’s the real reason you came tonight?”
“I was invited by Alys and your mother, you know how they both can be.”
“Bullshit,” he spat. “I think you came here because you were curious, you couldn’t stay away.”
You wanted to laugh. This was such bullshit, what even was happening right now. Was he mad at you cause you weren’t mad? 
“Admit it.” He scooted closer.“I think you wanted to be here tonight to see for yourself if you could get me back.” He was leaning across the table now, his eyes flitting between yours. His voice dropped. “The ring was always yours, she’s just keeping it warm for ya darling.” 
You could smell the alcohol on his breath. He was clearly drunk and now he was being cruel. When you knew him he would never have let himself get to this level of intoxicated and he certainly would never have been so mean to you.
What the fuck happened when you left?
You shook your head, looking away from him.“I’m not here for you, Aemond.”
He arched his brow. “Then why’d you come?”
“To see for myself that everything we had was a lie.”
He leaned back, shaking his head. “What are you talking about?”
“Seeing you tonight like this, with her, I understand now that it wasn’t love we had but convenience.” You started getting up. “I hope you two are very happy together.”
He stared wide eyed, watching as you began pushing through the crowd. “Wait.”
“Goodbye, Aemond. Have a good wedding.” You waved over your shoulder as you walked away from Aemond Targaryen.
Tag List: @dixie-elocin @liannafae @toodlesxcuddles @watercolorskyy @zenka69 @bellaisasleep
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loaksky · 1 year
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— 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴
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the lowdown — the one where you’re madly in love but ao’nung doesn’t want a thing to do with you. 
the who — ao’nung x fem metkayina!reader 
the word count — 2.1k
the tags & warnings — language, angst, ao’nung is an asshole when his friends are around, all around shitshow lol, unrequited love
the notes — based on this request! was really excited to write more for ao’nung ! this probably won’t have a part 2 because i like the idea of leaving the ending open, so it’s up to you guys if ao’nung and reader end up together aheh. 
masterlist
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You should’ve known better. Should’ve known better than to love harder than your fragile heart could take. Because now you’re hurting far more than you prepared for and the object of your affections is the cause of it all. 
Ao’nung had a way of brushing you off, of putting as much distance as he could between the two of you. And you’d run regardless, cross as much of that stretch if it meant a chance at capturing his heart. You were shameless, persistent, sweet on the boy who wouldn’t even bat an eye at you. 
Because at one point he had, when you two were little warriors growing into yourselves. But you can’t trace when things had soured, couldn’t understand why your heart grew fonder while your friendship fizzled like dissolving seafoam. 
“Look what I found,” you’d coo excitedly during excursions you’d tag along to, remnants of a scrounged shell thrust triumphantly in the air. 
You all hadn’t become teenagers yet, teetering over the fine line of figuring out what was blossoming in your heart. 
His friends couldn’t be bothered to hide their laughter, jostling the leader’s son as you swam nearer to close the fragment in his palm. It was like you were giving him pieces of yourself, happily, willingly.
It took you too long, his friends would argue, to realize that he was letting the fractals fall to the seabed once you turned your attention to something else, to anything bigger and better to signify the beating of your heart to him. 
When you had successfully completed your rite, had crawled from under your parents’ worried thumb, had started to become a woman, you pressed further. 
“Wanna go for a swim?” you’d ask him right after eclipse and the waters would glow something fierce. Almost as if the ocean was cheering you on. 
“Nope.” The answer’s always spoken without second thought, scoff following shortly after. 
And you’d hear him from your family’s marui, splashing and laughing with his friends late into the evening, a dull ache in your chest at being rebuffed so easily when all you wanted was to be seen by him. 
And it’d been like that for a while, chasing chasing chasing like you had the stamina of every little thing to grace the face of the moon, but he was always so out of reach. 
“He’ll come around,” the elder who’d taken you under her wing had said one evening when the cracks were becoming too much. 
“Hope so,” you whispered, watching as the stars twinkled something fierce against swathes of blue.
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The final fissure was humiliating, made your cheeks burn unbearably. 
As a young woman, ready to spend forever, you’d gathered what was left of your courage. Had taken the plunge, and with your heart in your hands, you told him. 
“Since we were kids,” you say shakily. “It’s always been you.” 
Frankly, you catch him off guard. He didn’t think you had it in you, didn’t think you’d be able to get over your little crush and finally say something, but here you both are, standing a little ways from where his friends are watching with razor sharp eyes and pricked ears. 
Ao’nung doesn’t know what to say, watching as you fumble with something in your little bag. 
You continue, his silence making way for bubbling words. 
“You’re the only person I could ever see myself–” 
The laugh he scoffs out sends his friends tittering in the distance and the first crack is deadly. 
“Be realistic,” he says flatly. 
You try to mask the hurt that eclipses your features, a semblance of hope dancing in your chest that maybe he’d tell you he’s playing a cruel joke. That of course he sees you, of course he’d be with you. That after all these years of you chasing him, wanting him, loving him, he’d learned to do the same. 
“Did you really–” He can barely contain his amusement. “Did you really think I’d reciprocate?” 
“I- I mean–” you suck in a deep breath, throat thick with tears as you fiddle with the tie you’d made for his hair, corded with fragments of buffed shells and sanded beads. 
His eyes flit to your fidgeting and a protest dies on your tongue when he snatches it from your grasp and turns the dinky little thing over in his wide palms. 
“What’s this?” he asks. 
Fuck, you’re beyond embarrassed, breaths stuttering as the corner of your mouth twitches into a frown. 
You didn’t think Ao’nung could be this heartless. Thought that he’d be curt, quick when it came to turning you down, but this feels like an eternity and you want to disintegrate. 
“This supposed to be for me?” he snorts, pinching it between his thumb and forefinger like he can’t stand to hold it. 
“Yeah,” you whisper brokenly, after a moment of silence. “Made it for you.” 
“Yeah, no thanks,” he chuffs, and you’re scrambling to catch it before it hits the sand. 
You look up at him from where you kneel, eyes blurring as he stares down at you in contempt, like he can’t stomach the thought of you being in love with him. 
“You’d offer nothing to this village,” he says spitefully. “To any man. Don’t be ridiculous.” 
He leaves you there, kicking up sand as he rejoins his howling circle of friends. 
How pathetic, you hear them whisper. The olo’eyktan’s son, really? 
When you’re alone, when you hear them splashing through the waters like they hadn’t just shattered your heart, you shred the tie.
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“You are unkind, Ao’nung,” Tsireya tells him a few eclipses later. 
His eyes swing from his catch, eyebrows furrowed. 
“What are you on about?” he asks flatly. 
“________,” she says simply, like he should know his atrocity. 
And maybe he does. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about that night since. He’d barely given you a second thought all these years, but when he and his friends had returned the way they left you, he’d seen the tattered remains of the ocean weeds nearby. Seen the beads and shells from the tie scattered among the loam. They’d been smeared red. 
Had he been too harsh? Been too unforgiving under the gaze of his expectant friends? You’d always been easy to pick and prod, so soft and unrelenting in the way you pursued him. But that night, something had shifted. He’d felt it so, didn’t realize that others did too. 
After a moment too long in his head, all he manages is a shrug. 
“How would mother and father feel?” she asks, obviously far more annoyed with how flippant he is about the situation. 
“Why would they care?” he bites. “She’s a nobody.” 
The look his sister gives him makes his heart stutter and his stomach twist. 
“She is kind,” Tsireya says softly. “She is compassionate, skilled, strong. Her lack of status means nothing to mother and father if she is capable of leading with heart.” 
When he is silent, she continues. 
“You let your friends cloud your judgment,” she says. “You know better than anyone what’s right.” 
His throat bobs. 
“Apologize, Ao’nung,” she says fiercely. 
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Ao’nung’s never had to search for you. You’d always been there, even when you were on the perimeter, waiting. But now it’s like you’re a mere thought that refuses to solidify. 
“Have you–” He scratches the back of his head. “Have you seen ________?” 
The elder you spent much of your time training under merely blinks at him. Tells him that she hasn’t seen much of you lately and he simply nods, bowing his head before taking his leave. 
It frustrates him, makes him want to scrap this entire endeavor, but his sister’s words are etched into his mind and the bits and pieces of the tie you’d made him weighs heavy in a small pouch tied around the band of his loincloth. 
He stumbles upon you purely by accident, near the edge of the reef. You’re all alone, a ball of weeds near as you weave quietly. It’s his chance, he realizes, just the two of you with no prying eyes and no pricked ears. 
You nearly jump out of your skin when his fingers close over your shoulder. 
Your expression softens and hardens in a matter of moments, standing so quickly you accidentally kick sand up into Ao’nung’s face. He splutters as he reaches blindly for you. 
“Wait, wait,” he pleads. “Don’t go–” 
“Don’t fucking touch me,” you hiss, lip trembling as you grab your materials quickly.
He shouldn’t be stunned. Shouldn’t be surprised that you’re upset, but he can’t help it. Not when you’ve been nothing but sweet to him, when all you’ve wanted was to be seen by him. 
He murmurs your name quietly, blinking quickly as he knuckles away the particulates in his eyes. 
“I don’t want to see you again, Ao’nung,” you hiss.
The words pierce him, brands him like hot iron when he sees clearly enough to make out the hurt painted all over your face. 
He’s after you in his next breath. 
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes quickly. “I- I-” 
You deflect his reaching hands, shaking your head vehemently when he moves to take another step towards you. 
“I have loved you since before I even knew what love was,” you choke, unable to get a handle on all the emotions swarming beneath the surface. “All I have ever wanted was to love you and be loved by you, but all I receive in return is humiliation. Hurt.” 
You wipe the tears away angrily and Ao’nung is frozen as he watches you unravel, bears witness to every sentiment that you’ve kept a tight grip on. 
“So, no, Ao’nung, I’m sorry,” you spit, face aching as you shudder through your declaration. “I wish I could go back and tell myself that I was being fucking stupid for wanting you.” 
He flinches and you take one last look at him, like you’re committing him to an infalliable memory. 
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Time lapses, no matter how long he yearns for it not to. 
Nights bleed into days, into weeks, into months, and you aren’t letting up. The taste of his own medicine is bitter, deserved, when he seeks you out at every turn and all you do is widen the gap. 
His agony is silent, consuming as he watches you grow from afar, sees what a wonderful woman you’ve become. Not that you hadn’t been before, but now he beholds you in all your glory and he is gutted. 
You are every bit the definition of incredible, makes something visceral claw at him every passing moment both near and far. Because you’re healing, moving past such an awful suffering being bound to Ao’nung by what was once your desperate heart. 
“This is your own doing,” Tsireya tells him one night, when the sting burns especially so. 
He can’t help but watch you across the fire, the way you smile at one of your friends gently. Can’t even bring himself to retort something snarky to his younger sister. 
Your eyes meet his from across the way, smile leaving your lips when you find his gaze already on you, and his heart sinks. 
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Your parents have arranged your union with someone else, he hears. 
“Pity the poor soul,” one of his friends scoff when the whispers finally reach his circle. “Forever with her sounds like–” 
Ao’nung doesn’t know why, but it feels so right with his fist coated in his friend’s blood. Something like sick satisfaction curling through his veins when he clutches his nose in horror and asks what the fuck is wrong with him. 
He knows he doesn’t deserve it, your time, but he’s mapped the course to your family’s marui well enough and he’s rushing down the woven path. 
Your suitor looks happy, triumphant, as he stands before you and your family. 
It should be me, is the only thought that crosses his brain as he sees the way you shift in stance, the smile not quite reaching your eyes. And you clock him before he can draw nearer, eyes glazing over with tears before you let out a deep sigh. 
“Ao’nung,” your parents greet cordially, clearly unaware of the chaos brewing between the two of you the past few months. 
“Don’t be rude, Maite, say hello,” your mother prods after a moment of awkward silence. 
You bite the inside of your lip, toes curling as you give Ao’nung a curt nod. 
“To what do we owe the pleasure?” your father asks, turning all of the attention over to the olo’eyktan’s son. 
It’s his last shot at the two of you, at being able to make you his. His friends weren’t forever, but you were. 
His shoulders square and he steels his nerves, eyes never leaving yours as he speaks. 
“I’ve–” He takes a shuddering breath. “I’ve come to ask for her hand.” 
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neng © 2023
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taglist; @nao-cchi , @jkiminpark , @philiasoul @amart-e , @s-u-t , @netesbby , @tayswiftlovebot , @dumb-fawkin-bitch , @neteyamo , @fanboyluvr , @mazemymirror , @theycallmesia , @girlpostingsposts, @athenachu , @hiya-itsamber , @morks-watermelon , @sanfransolomitatm , @lovedbychoi
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saerins · 5 months
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⋆୨ chapter two ୧˚ a million miles away, still you connect me in your way
⋆୨ if not for you (masterlist) ⋆୨ previous: chapter one - thorns without flowers, bars with no drinks <> next: chapter three - for a while, you were all mine ୧˚
⋆୨ synopsis ୧˚ neither of you want this. both you and sae reluctantly agree to this marriage, although sae’s dissatisfaction far outweighs your own. with hidden agendas and old flames, will this ever work out between the two of you, or will your forced spark be doomed to fail?
ೀ series: sae x f!reader | wc 3.8k | ೀ content warnings: fluff/angst, modern au, arranged marriage, rich!sae and rich!reader, gaslighting, generally bad parenting across the board, miscommunications/misunderstandings | notes: looks like i made it for this week after all !! not proofread though because i’m still sick <\3 & hehe i heard you guys asking for sae redemption arc … hmm :)
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To the whole world, your marriage with the eldest Itoshi son is a fruitful event. Both your parents, having history as college classmates turned business rivals, have put their differences aside and green-lit the marriage. (It kind of perplexes you, since it’s their idea in the first place, but both you and Sae know that it’s always better to just leave things be.)
“You both need to get along well, do you hear me?”
Ever the authoritative figure, your father, naturally, expects you to do the impossible and get your husband to—you don’t really know, actually. To be a husband?
“Dad, we just got married and we barely know each other, can’t we just—”
“Then do something about it.” The line clicks before you can say anything else, a long sigh leaving your lips. That’s easier said than done.
It’s been a week into the marriage and the most Sae has ever said to you was “here, got you the keys.” Which was on day two. And he hasn’t spoken to you since. Except to respond to your (fake) chirpy good morning! with his own lacklustre “morning”.
And it isn’t like you haven’t tried. On the off chance that you do catch Sae when he’s at home and not frolicking around outside, you try to ask about him. Foolish you thought that maybe if he saw you trying then he’d at least entertain you.
Of course, life isn’t that kind to you. Any time you try to speak to him casually, you’re locked out by his icy stare, quick to glare at you like you’re some weirdo who just happens to live in the same apartment.
Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if you were the type to initiate such things but you’ve never been so until now. And it’s killing you inside everytime you try.
“Save me, please.”
Reo’s chuckle rings over the speakers, your heaved sigh drowned out by him. “Not even a month in, are you sure you can last with this your whole life?”
“Stop rubbing it in, Reo,” you whine, nearly dropping your breakfast on the floor.
It’s a Thursday morning and you’d been given a week off to acclimatise to life as a newlywed. From what you know, Sae was too. Problem is, Sae hasn’t even been home. He leaves early in the morning and comes back late in the night; there’s really no difference than when he’s actually going to work.
And given your… situation, you don’t really want to ask where he’s been and sound like, well, a wife. It’s stupid and crazy for you to think that when you are his wife, but it’s the sticky feeling of the two of you being strangers that makes you feel like you can’t act that way.
That night when Sae comes home to see dinner still untouched, all handsome as usual in his white dress shirt with the top unbuttoned, he gives you a brief once-over before toeing off his shoes. He reeks of alcohol when he walks past you but you don’t comment on that; he doesn’t look tipsy one bit so you have a feeling he was just surrounded by the people doing the actual drinking. 
“Why haven’t you eaten?”
You bet he’s only asking because you’ve meticulously placed yourself at the dining table, not moving even when he almost shuts his bedroom door on you. There are two empty plates set out on the table—one for you and one for him.
One glance at the clock sets the time at 9.30pm. Entirely way too late for dinner—or well, a normal one, at least.
Tonight is different from all the other nights, because before tonight, you’d resigned to cooking and eating dinner alone. But given your earlier talk with Reo, he’d convinced you to try forcing Sae into it, as bad as that sounds, and you want to see it through.
“I was waiting for you,” you say, back faced to him.
In this huge apartment, your soft voice bounces off the walls.
You can hear Sae hesitating for a while before finally speaking up. “I already ate.”
It’s like a huge joke, whatever this is. It’s nothing that you can put into words because you expected as much but you’re disappointed that you have a husband who doesn’t care about your feelings yet you can’t actually fault him for it because your circumstances aren’t exactly… normal.
You don’t even realise you’re tearing up until you hear the abrupt sound of Sae’s bedroom door shutting, your tears falling from your cheeks as you jump in your seat.
From your father pressuring you to make this marriage work, to Reo who—bless his pure heart—believes wholeheartedly that you can, and lastly to Sae, who seems absolutely determined to see this marriage through to its divorce, you’re tired.
There’s no such thing as failure to your parents—you’d known that ever since you were born. Especially not to your father, who tolerated nothing less than perfection from you. He wouldn’t even let it go when you failed to bag a huge client and decided that scolding you in front of the entire office was the least he could do.
As his name lights up your phone screen again, you stare dumbly at his message.
So? Are things going well with him?
You would mistaken it for parental concern if not for his next message.
Don’t screw this up like you always do. No one else would want you anyway, hear me?
He has a way of kicking you when you’re down. It’s almost like he decided you not being born would be better.
Just as you’re starting to lose your appetite, you hear the click of the door handle, your heartbeat the only sound you hear before the familiar shift of Sae’s feet against the ground. Half of you thinks he’s just forgotten something and is coming out to get it, but the other half of you is so stupidly optimistic that you can’t help but wish he’s had a change of heart.
Still, you wipe your tears away—a stubborn habit you’ve had since young to not let anyone see you crying, another byproduct of having parents who scolded you even more when they do see your tears—and pretend like you’re completely fine, sitting at the dining table all alone at 9.30pm having cooked entirely too much for a single person.
You can almost laugh at yourself looking at how pathetic this all feels.
But when you see Sae out of the corner of your eye, he’s changed out into more comfortable clothes, just a white oversized shirt with black shorts, taking a seat across from you.
“Let’s eat, then.”
To the outside eye, this might seem like a lacklustre dinner, like there’s nothing noteworthy about it at all. But to you, in that moment, it feels like everything. For once, you can see that even if Sae doesn’t want to, he’s trying. Just like you are. 
“Here.” He’s quiet when he eats. Apart from when he’s offering you more meat, quietly picking the bones off of the fish and discarding it onto his own plate and the meat in favour of yours.
You wonder what’s happened today that could contribute to his sudden change of decision. But it’s enough for you to feel his efforts, so you don’t harp on it.
“Do you… like it?”
Even though Sae doesn’t look at you all night, he does respond to you. Which is more than you can say for the past week.
“Mhm.”
And suddenly, it doesn’t feel so lonely.
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Your father’s talking about visiting, so hopefully we can all meet again soon!
Sighing, you toss your phone aside and stuff your pillow on your face. Trust your mother to be the bearer of bad news like she’s always been, somehow resigned to being your father’s messenger whenever he feels like he loathes to speak to you directly.
Without even thinking, you know this is just his way of ‘checking up on you’, making sure that everything is going according to his plan. You’re not really sure why he insists that this marriage has to last when divorce happens to be all the rage these days. Sadly.
You can just envision the reprimand you’ll get if he comes over and finds out that you and Sae are not even sharing a room, often not even seeing each other apart from meal times and barely ever speaking at all. He will get to say that he knew all along that he has a useless daughter who can’t even do this simple task right.
Even at this age, he doesn’t want to vanquish his hold over you, always threatening to push the burden onto your sister instead, knowing that you won’t allow that to happen, banking on it to be the catalyst that drives you to obey his every command.
It’s a Saturday, and you haven’t heard the main door open today—unless Sae left the house before 6.30am which is unlikely—so you grind your teeth, weighing the pros and cons of going up to Sae and asking him for a favour. Really, the worst he can do is shut the door in your face, so what are you so scared of?
So ten minutes later, after whining internally to yourself and prepping for what you’re going to say, you find yourself at his bedroom door, quietly knocking on it a few times before hearing his show pause in the background and opening the door.
Sae’s eyes look tired, same as they’ve always been, teal eyes hidden behind those long lashes and his hair more of a mess than usual.
“Yeah?”
It’s stupid for you to think that hey, at least now he’s speaking instead of just grunting at you but your relationship is at an all-time low so you excuse yourself for that.
“We need to talk.”
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Minutes later, Sae is sitting on the couch, arms crossed, brows furrowed helplessly as he listens to your ‘favour’.
“So… long story short,” Sae sighs, and you’re awkwardly shifting in your seat on the adjacent couch, anticipating his response. “Your parents might do a surprise visit and we need to look like an actual couple, is that it?”
Well, at least he was listening.
You nod, your fingers fiddling with each other. Somehow, you’ve become a nervous mess whenever you’ve had to interact with your husband.
“That won’t do.”
Your heart sinks just from those three simple words. You’re looking at the ground, polished and white, cold like real marble. You should’ve expected as much, but you really really don’t want to risk this impacting your sister.
“But if you could just—”
Before you know it, Sae’s right in front of you, forehead pressed against yours and teal eyes coldly calculating, as though he’s evaluating some statistic you’re not aware of.
He sighs and you can feel his hot breath against your lips, and suddenly you forget how to breathe, until he pulls away and sits back down where he came from. Sae’s eyes are still fixed on you, unrelenting.
“How are they gonna believe a thing when you’re that awkward around me?”
Sae can do all he can to make this believable, but it sure as hell won’t work if you’re this shy and nervous around him. Your parents are like his own, like vultures, they’ll pick this tension up in a second and they’re just going to know something is off. Then your plan will be all for naught.
“Um, well…”
He can tell you haven’t thought of that yet, so he brushes it off. You look like you’re going to hyperventilate if he pressures you on this any more. You looked cute though, all flustered when all he did was close the gap between you—but he keeps that to himself.
“Never mind that, what else do we need?” Because even without you saying, Sae can tell that this marriage doesn’t seem the slightest bit convincing. It just seems like two strangers sharing an apartment together.
“I was thinking maybe we could… takesomepicturesandframethemup on the wall?”
This time, Sae doesn’t hide his perplexity, blinking profusely at your statement. You’re averting your gaze too, and Sae nearly finds himself laughing, nearly. Your nervousness is quite amusing. It takes him a while to fully grasp what you were saying.
“Fine,” he relents, leaning back against the couch, internally snickering at the way you seem like a puppy, starry eyes gazing at him when he agrees. “You book a studio, put it on my card. Anything else?”
He’s like a businessman through and through, you realise, releasing everything off his to-do list in one fell swoop. You go to the next item on the agenda in your head.
“Oh… about finances,” you approach the subject carefully, knowing how it’s a sensitive topic for most people. “Should we just split everything fifty-fifty?”
For this, however, Sae wastes no time. 
“That’s fine, I’ll pay,” he says, matter-of-factly, in the most no-nonsense way he can manage. Though, the next thing he asks of you is one you never expected. “How much do you spend in a month? Excluding bills.”
You blink at him in surprise for a while, before trying to calculate it in your head. “Without bills? Um, maybe ¥150,000?”
Sae nods, pulling up his phone and typing on it for a while before looking back at you. “I don’t know how much you have in your bank, but I’ll open up a joint savings account, you can put everything else aside from your monthly expenditure in there. If you need any urgent expenses, just withdraw it as you need to.”
The way he says all this stoically nearly makes you mistake this for a business meeting.
“Excuse me? You want me to… transfer all my money into this account?”
“Except for your monthly expenses,” he corrects you, back to staring at his phone. “I’ll handle everything else, taxes, bills, whatever.”
This somehow sounds like all the scams you’ve watched on crime shows. That’s why you’re hesitating, but you have an inkling that Sae’s not that kind of person… is he?
“Um… what if…” You trail off, hesitant to get the words out, afraid of how he might take it.
Sae looks at you, putting his phone down on the table, his fingers interlaced with each other. He seems to understand your conflict, but he doesn’t explain anything further. He just asks you something simple. “Do you trust me?”
The simplest answer would be no, because you barely knew each other. Yet somehow, you feel the “yes” coming out of your mouth before you realise it, and Sae nods in acknowledgement. 
“I’ll send you the details soon,” is all he tells you before you see his phone lighting up, vibrating with a call. You manage to see the nickname ‘dummy’ come up before Sae grabs his phone, looking at it seemingly nostalgically before saying a “I gotta take this” and retreating to his bedroom.
The call ends as soon as Sae shuts the door to his bedroom. But just as quickly, he sees a new text popping up, and it’s irritating how he’s quick to open it immediately.
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Maybe it’s a little pathetic of you to be in a good mood simply because Sae’s become a little more open now. And by open, you just mean he’s not just cold and silent and distant, but is now being more receptive.
Another two weeks have passed and you’re beginning to see a lot more progress. Like how Sae tells you what time he’ll be back so you can coordinate dinner. Or how he’ll be the one to settle dinner if you’re the one getting home late. His texts are a lot more than just simple acknowledgements and you find yourself smiling at your phone even if he’s there complaining about old geezers at work and how they’re so irritating and asking why they won’t just shut up.
“I guess that means everything’s going well in the new Itoshi household?”
Across from you, Reo’s smirking as he sips on his udon, noticing how your lips curve into a smile as you form a text. You pout and kick his shin lightly, annoyed that you got caught red-handed.
“Maybe,” you tell him, giggling.
For someone rumoured to be as rude and negative as Itoshi Sae, you find that he’s not all that bad once you get to know him a little. He’s just a regular guy, or maybe one that has a bigger chip on his shoulder than most people do, but you know better than to pry on that a little too early.
Reo ruffles your head, making it a little messier than usual but somehow, you don’t care too much about that now. “Just make sure he treats you well, ‘kay?”
You grin and nod in response, “yes, sir!”
For the lack of love your parents failed to provide, you’re more than grateful that you can get such concern from your best friend. You guess you can count yourself luckier than most.
That same afternoon, you get home from work with a hop in your step as you get a message that your photos have been delivered to your doorstep. And just as promised, it sits on your mat tied up neatly in a box and you squeal as you hurriedly unlock the door and unwrap it.
The still shots of you and Sae look perfect, all thanks to that professional photographer you managed to hire. Sae was less than thrilled to be there, but somehow, even with his stoic expression, the photos work. There’s shots of him with his arm around your shoulder, head resting on yours as he looks at the camera. Other shots where he follows your poses and sticks his tongue out. And when you get to the bottom of the pile, you see the last shot, the one you remember the most, because it’s the one where you’re just looking at the camera and Sae, without any direction at all, just leans in and kisses you on the temple.
At that moment, your phone vibrates, a message from Sae popping up.
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But night falls and it’s suddenly 8pm and you haven’t touched the food on the table, sweet and sour pork long forgotten on the dining table because you’re busy setting up the pictures all around the house.
To his credit, the frames Sae picked are beautiful. They’re made of a dark wood to contrast the impossibly white walls and the white backdrop of your photoshoot. Though, he managed to order way too many of them so you idly wonder what you can do with the rest of the spares.
Once you’re done with the living room, you find yourself left with a few photos you reserved for the master bedroom, and you hesitate before going in. After nearly a month here and you realise you’d never actually been in here before.
It looks nice and clean and Sae’s a lot less messier than you thought he’d be. His towel is thrown sloppily on the floor and his bedsheets are a mess, but other than that the rest of the place is relatively spotless. Heck, you think even your room’s not as well-kept as his. Somehow you feel a little shameful about that.
Shaking your head, you snap out of it, getting back to the task at hand: meticulously placing these photos so you can act like the perfect couple once your parents decide to visit. (There’s a little glimmer of hope inside of you that hopes that by then, it wouldn’t have to be an act.)
Fifteen minutes later, you’re all about done in there, except when you accidentally gave yourself a paper cut trying to fit the photo in nicely. Clambering to the bedroom to find the nearest first aid kit, you find one in the nightstand—the other side of where he sleeps, judging from the way his blanket is thrown. Grabbing the plaster out of there, you stop in motion when you see a small A4-sized black gift box inside, a translucent gold bow rimming its sides.
As you bandage your finger up, you try not to think about it but your curiosity gets the best of you; it’s wrong but you can’t help yourself. Your fingers grab the box carefully out of its place, and you open it to see Sae’s alien face.
Only alien because he actually looks happy in those pictures.
The first few pictures you see are of Sae with Rin, who you know is his younger brother. They look alike too, and in some ways, it reminds you of you and your sister. It brings a smile to your face, but only momentarily, before you get bombarded by a ton of pictures of Sae with a girl you’ve never seen.
She’s pretty; brown hair down to her chest, having those beach wave curls that make you envious, piercing green eyes that shine through her bangs. A petite frame, with a style that’s already sophisticated even when she was a teenager back then. 
You can’t help but wonder who she is, though you don’t really need to when you have your gut instinct telling you it’s an old flame. And judging by the amount of photos he’s kept, it’s someone he still can’t forget. Is she why he’s been so hesitant?
All the photos were taken in those old school photo booth machines that used to be all the rage. That’s why their pictures always have filters and little scribbles drawn on before printing. It’s heartbreaking yet you can’t stop looking. So Sae is a person who can smile a lot, as long as he’s with the right one, it seems.
Most of the pictures have scribbles of M+S on them, and you assume M must be her initial. Is it crazy for you to be hurt by this? It’s a whole side of Sae you’d never seen, and it was on full display for someone else. It must seem like a fever dream for you.
You try to think positively, like it doesn’t mean much that he still keeps this even though it was a love seemingly long gone. You should have faith in him… right?
But then, the last in the pile is a normal picture, taken by camera and developed by film. It’s a picture of Sae and M lip-locked, his arms on her waist, her wanton smile visible even from this angle. Behind it, like a secret love note meant only for the lovers’ eyes to see, written in bright red:
itoshi sae, will you love me forever?
forever and ever, dummy.
And then you remember the same nickname flashing across his phone that night, and it all comes crashing down on you. And you feel like the stupidest person on the planet. These pictures are from forever ago, but it’s entirely plausible that he’s not finished with whatever it was.
Somehow, it feels like everything is in reverse.
You want Sae’s love, and this is your marriage—you and Sae’s—but then why, even as his wife, do you feel like the third party instead?
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taglist: @kimvmarvel @mxplesyrvp @yuzurins @futuristicxie @kiopanxp @k0z3me @y-sabell-a @sae1toshilover @xoxojisu @karmatiz @sagejin @minnieminnie00-got7 @hearts4heidi @shiinobu-x @n1uh @prepchuu @leeyzhuo @shidouryusm @tsukishiro-yue2402 @kaiserkisser @pookiebearcave @dcvilxswish @saeskiss @whtflrr @arminseas @raphsimp *bolded: can’t tag you due to your settings >_<
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kairiscorner · 8 months
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question of the day: who would fall the hardest if they ever fell in love?
well... i've got 4 candidates in mind, and i think... (2/4)
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
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miles morales. — guilty of falling hard for you.
summary: he didn't think it'd happen so soon... well, love always takes place in the most unexpected places and times, no? pairing: miles 1610 x gn!reader genre: fluff !!
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miles morales believed he was never one to fall easily, to fall first, or to fall... hard; but you helped him realize that he, in fact, was all of those things. the moment he met you was the moment he realized what he wanted, who he wanted, in life. you were the one who made sense of his life, the one who opened his eyes to the person he wants to be with, and you were the first person to ever want to be more than a stranger that captivated his whole heart and soul this way--you were special, and always will be to him.
miles morales is literally the sweetest boy you've ever met; he acts like he could be anyone's friend, anyone's brother, anyone's cousin–he gets along with nearly everybody, and that's the nicest part about him to you. he's always so friendly with everyone, especially towards you–a stranger he just met today.
miles morales started off as a stranger, started off as this cute, yet lost, looking boy to you that you stumbled upon at a busiest part of the campus. you were both new kids, and you were both incredibly lost, and weren't looking where either of you were going.
miles morales bumped into you by accident–it was practically a collision, actually. you two crashed into each other and were seeing stars, with him apologizing that he bumped into you in the first place. "sorry, i wasn't... wasn't looking, ow..." he groaned out as his once blurry vision cleared and he caught glimpses of your face.
miles morales he didn't know what to say at first, or how to even say anything to such a... a perfect person. he didn't feel worthy of being spoken to, being apologized to the same way he did to you.
miles morales was caught in his own world, drowning and getting lost in the vast expanse of your beautifully colored irises, the length of your eyelashes, the shape of your nose, the way your eyebrows crinkled in pain at the impact--the way your voice captures his attention with how sonorous and captivating it is; and the way the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck rise up at the feeling of your gentle, supple flesh of your hands against his is.
miles morales pulls away from your touch, he accidentally picked up your books instead of his; his mind is a mess right now since, wow, it's been a long, long while since he's felt this way. he actually doesn't even remember if... he's felt this way for anybody before you, and it's crazy because... he's never known you existed until now. "sorry! sorry, um, i'm... wow, am i such a klutz. here, lemme help you, for real this time." he said with a chuckle as he handed you his books and picked his own books off the ground.
miles morales thought helping you out, flashing you a smile, and apologizing to you would be the end of it, because who would spend extra time chatting with a stranger who bumped into you? well, apparently, you would. as he began to walk away, you instinctively reached out and held him by the arm--that sent sparks flying from his chest and a heat creeping up his face as he turned to look at you.
miles morales couldn't believe you'd really stop him in his tracks to properly thank him. he's had his fair share of strangers that never end up in his life again after that one chance encounter he's had with them. he's gone through many people in his life, doing things for them and them doing things for him, and he always thanks them, but hardly ever gets thanks--especially like this. he doesn't know how to feel about it, he isn't sure on how to feel about it; it's so new to him... and he's craving for more of you, to know you even more from the inside out.
miles morales is a stuttering, flustered mess. a smile is drawn on that innocent, loving face of his that isn't sure of how to react; surprised, taken aback, or... grateful? grateful that you were kind and patient enough to consider the person behind the kind act and thank him. "i-it's nothing, really! i'm always happy to help such a pretty-- um..." 'crap, i slipped.'
miles morales is wincing at him slipping up and admitting that, yes, he found you very adorable, attractive, though you were both strangers--and... he wants to get to know you even more, badly. he craves to be your friend, but he didn't think you'd want to--you were both strangers to begin with, but... maybe this is his chance to show you just how much sweeter he can be the more you get to know him, he's already taken a liking (understatement, really) to you.
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tags !! @k4tsu3 @onginlove @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @solecitoszn @meowmoraless
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peaky-shelby · 1 year
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Say My Name Three Times | Kylian Mbappè
Pairing: kylian x reader
Series: Take Me On The Field
Request: Heyy, can I have a Kylian Mbappe request maybe they’re at a game of his and she goes to surprise him, she’s his girlfriend and an actress they haven’t seen each other in a month
Writer's note: this is the first story of the take me on the Field series. send in requests for our favorite players. You can check my prompt lists here.
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When I reached Qatar I was praying to everything holy for no one would recognize me. So far I had done a great job at convincing Kylian that I wasn’t going to make it to the final because of reshoots for the new project. The thing I loved most about him was that he didn’t even get mad about it. We were the exception of the rule that footballers dating actresses never ended happily. We both understood each other’s busy schedules, even when it wasn’t in our favor.
Of course the fact that he didn’t get mad didn’t mean that he didn’t complain. He wanted me there as much as I wanted to be there and it was eating us both alive. When I got the ok two days ago to leave the movie set I decided to surprise him, instead of telling and giving him a boost of confidence from the sidelines.
The hat covered most of my facial futures, along with my eye vision which was the reason I bumped into about 20 guys wearing Messi’s shirt. But thankfully my mask hid the rest of my face, as did my black as night sunglasses. To mix with the crowd I was wearing one of Kylian’s jersey’s and an old pair of sweatpants. Nothing about me was screaming celebrity, which was exactly the way I liked it.
The only one helping me with everything and knew I was coming was Giroud. He had spoken to the drivers, so one of them would be waiting for me. On the way to the French base, I stared out of my window, at the people, dressed and blue and white or in dark blue carrying the french flag over their heads. I smiled, truth was, kylian or not, football had been a part of me since I was a kid, the view made me emotional. When we reached the French base, the team had already left for the stadium. One of Giroud’s assistant was waiting for me on the foyer.
“Bonjour Mademoiselle!” he exclaimed when he saw me. He dealt with the security and helped me find my way to kylian’s room. All the way to his room, he’d mumble about how happy he was the Giroud has trusted him with this mission. I laughed at his excitement and thanked him a bunch for his help. When we got inside it instantly felt like home as Kylian’s perfume filled all my senses and I almost snuck in the bathroom expecting to find him by the mirror, shaving. I left my stuff next to the bed, as I raised my head I noticed he had a picture of us by his nightstand. I must have stood there looking at it for a long time because Giroud’s assistant, patted me on the shoudler “We have to go Mademoiselle!”
I nodded quickly, picked just my scarf with the French’s team’s logo, my phone and my jacket and ran outside with him. Everything else happened too quickly, the drive to the stadium, sneaking in with Giroud’s passes and all the way to the dressing rooms my phone was buzzing with Mbappe’s picture. I stopped just right outside the dressing room, smiling at myself. Giroud’s assistant looked at me confused as I answered the call.
“Babe! Où étais-tu ?” he asked, stressed, before I even had time to say anything.
“Je suis désolé! I got caught up at work! Has the came started?”
“Non!” I could hear the nerves in his voice. “Two minutes before we go out! I need your good luck!” While he was speaking I peaked through the door of the dressing room, all the boys were there sitting on their benches. Talking, laughing, putting on their uniforms. Mbappe on the other hand wasn’t there at all.
“You have all my good luck! You know that!”
“HEY! KYLIAN! JE DOIS ALLER AUX TOILETTES, MEC ! SORTEZ !” I heard somebody yelling through the phone.
“FUCK OFF ! Je parle avec ma copine!” he said shot back, my heart sinking when he called his girl. It sounded beautiful in any language he’d say it. I finally walked in the dressing room, everybody started exclaiming until I shushed them with my finger “You shouldn’t be talking to your teammates like the kyky!” I walked behind the benches, high fiving giroud as I passed him and got to the hall that led to the toilet. Tchouameni was knocking on the bathroom door. I guessed Kylian must have been inside.
“They shouldn’t be interrupting me when I’m talking to you.”
I patted Tchouameni on the shoulder. He jumped and covered his mouth when he saw me, he was as shocked as I hoped Kylian would be. I tilted my head to signal him to away for a moment and I got closer to the door. I could swear my heart was tied with Kylian’s because the closer I would get the more I felt it beat, like it wanted to jump out of my chest and right into his hands. I leaned on the door.
“If they gotta pee, the gotta pee Kyky!”
“Can I face time you?”
I smiled “I don’t have time. I have to go meet somebody.”
I heard him sigh and curse. I imagined him covering the microphone because I only heard it through the door, the he said on the microphone. “I really wish you were here, mon cheri!”
“Say my name three times, I might appear out of nowhere.”
He did it without thinking, he’d believe in anything if it could get me to be where he was. I laughed and knocked on the door.
“Putain de merde ! Laisse-moi tranquille Tchouameni!” He yelled, making me laugh again! So I knocked, with my palm, loud, like I was his teammate in need of the toilet. “PUTAIN!” He yelled and I heard him stand up, my heart reaching the speed of an airplane about to lift off. I heard him unlock, my breath becoming so stiff I thought I would choke right then and there and then-
“Merde Ts-“ he stopped. His eyes starring blankly at me, his voice eaten, his body frozen. I thought he was on facetime and the connection had fallen as it usually did and he was gonna stay like that for the next hour. I was scared to even touch him, as if he would reload and disappear completely. Then he spoke, relief filled my lungs, he was real. “Merde..” he said, this time softer, this time like a prayer. He didn’t even waste any time to put his phone back on his pocket, he just let it slip off his hand and wrapped his arms around me, lighting me up. I tied my legs around his waste, hiding my face in the crook of his neck, taking In his perfume and his skin. A drug I had long missed. He spoke curses and muffled words in my hair, until I pulled my head back, just so I could look in his eyes. I smiled widely and kissed him, the way I’ve waited for a month. He walked until I was against the wall, still kissing me and holding me like I was part of him. It felt easy, it felt as it should be.
We pulled back to breath and I leaned my forehead against his, our eyes saying a thousand words as we stared into each other’s souls. He was smiling like a dork, I think I was too.
“Hi.” I whispered and he laughed. Still unable to believe this was real. He shook his head.
“You came.” He whispered, his one hand reach my cheek, stroking it. I leaned to his touch.
“You said my name three times” I whispered back, getting another laugh from him. Then his expression got serious, his eyes fell on me with lust burning out of them.
“I’d say your name every second of every day non stop if I have to.” He answered and leaned in to kiss me again, this time deeper. We were interrupted by someone flushing the toilet. We hadn’t even realized his teammate had walked passed us while we were reuniting. When he came out he gave us a teasing look. Kylian kicked him in the ass, cursing him and then we looked at each other, laughing. It was as it should be.
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trensu · 7 months
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have another snippet of stasis in darkness! just 'cuz i'm bored tbh, and kinda stuck on all my wips i'm currently working on.
The seventh night:
“Has he spoken to you yet?”
“How could he when you’re here yammering my ear off every night?”
“He’s a god, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard for him to shut me up.”
“Even gods have their limits.”
“Oh, har har. The warrior’s got jokes. You didn’t answer my question.”
“...not yet,” Steve said stiffly. 
“It’s been how long now? A week?” The man hummed in a falsely thoughtful manner. “Maybe he’s just not that into you, man. Maybe he’s letting you down easy.”
At his words, Steve involuntarily curled his shoulders inward, slightly, ever so slightly, in defense. He'd been wondering that same thing earlier that day. Steve had toiled hours in the sun to fix up the shrine; to make it welcoming; to encourage a divine visit. 
He had stopped wearing his armor to free up more time to work. Putting it on and taking it off took too long, and he didn't have to maintain it as much if he wasn't wearing it regularly. He stuck to only his chainmail. He'd kept his shield stored away, too, so it wouldn't get in the way while he worked. Though, he made sure to keep his sword nearby.
He’d taken his knife and traced over the etchings of stars in the alcove that served as a backdrop to the statue. His knife had been ruined but it didn't matter. The Lord of Night would probably want the stars of his dark sky with him, he reasoned, and these had worn so thin. Sadly, it was the only detail he could bring out of all the stone. The statue’s face was so crumbled that Steve couldn’t even begin to guess what it had originally looked like.
He had discovered that the vines he chose to keep were moonflowers. They had blossomed every night since he’d removed the other more invasive plants. He'd draped them carefully so they lay across the statue's shoulders, wrapped lovingly around its torso and clung to its waist before the ends of the vines trailed off at the knees. 
The strange man might have made himself a nuisance during his visits but he never stayed the whole night. Steve had been able to get a few hours of makeshift prayers at the shrine every night. He’d done all this, yet dawn broke every day without a single sign that the Lord of Night had been listening.
“Warrior?”
Steve broke out of his reverie. He refused to look at the man. He had to clear his throat roughly before he could speak.
“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been rejected by someone I love." Steve tried not to dwell on his father's perpetual scowl and his mother's infinite disinterest. "I’m pretty used to my devotion being one sided by now.”
“That’s a bummer,” the man said. His sympathy was meant to be teasing, Steve could tell, but it came out surprisingly sincere. “Good thing you have a whole pantheon! Strong guy like you? Any god would take you to be their warrior in a heartbeat.”
“What are you talking about? No, I’m nowhere near done with his shrine,” Steve said determinedly. “I know a silversmith and a stone mason who’d give me a hand, and Dustin and Robin have been dying to come up here to bring him offerings. The only reason they didn’t come with me is because I had to do the pilgrimage on my own if I wanted a shot at earning his blessing.”
The man spluttered.
“Are you insane? A god rejects you and you’d come back? What kind of stupid–were you dropped on your head as a child?
“A couple times, but that doesn’t have anything to do with it.”
“Are you sure? Have you checked? You should go to one of the gods of medicine. Owens, maybe. Have him take a look at your head,” the man huffed in frustration. "For stars' sake, why would you want to come back?"
He ignored the insult to his intelligence. For stars' sake. Steve murmured the words to himself, letting them settle in his mouth to get a feel for them. He'd never heard of that one before. He liked how it rolled off the tongue, natural as anything. 
The man waited for his response. Steve took a moment to try to sort out his words. He kept his head bowed towards the shrine as he ruminated.
“People barely remember my god,” Steve finally said. “And when they do, they remember him as something he’s not. Even if he doesn’t believe I’m worthy of carrying his crest, he shouldn't be forgotten.” 
The man said nothing. Steve took a shuddering breath before the quiet could take over. 
“Having someone forget you is…it’s very lonely. Which is the worst feeling. I…I guess I don’t want him to be lonely anymore.”
The silence that followed his statement stretched long enough that Steve started falling into that meditative state he’d learned during his many nights at the shrine. It helped dull the twisted up, unsteady sensation that lingered from the man’s prodding at his every self-doubt and fear.
“He hasn’t rejected you yet, though,” the man broke Steve's musings awkwardly.
“He hasn’t reached out to me either. It’s fine. I’ll keep coming either way.”
Another silence. It was around the time the man usually left Steve to his worship. He didn't hear retreating footsteps. Instead, the man cleared his throat, and when Steve looked up at him, the man turned his face away, shrouding it in gloom.
“Maybe he’s nervous. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t contacted you yet.”
“Nervous? No way.”
“He sounds like a godly weirdo,” the man said. “Maybe he’s never had a holy warrior before and doesn’t know what to do.”
“He’s the good kind of weirdo! And there’s no way he’s not had a warrior carry his symbol. He must’ve had loads back in the day. I probably don’t meet his standards,” Steve smiled lopsidedly, playing off his insecurity.
“I’m serious!” the man exclaimed. “It’s possible! Some gods never get warriors. Some never want them at all!
“Look, even if I was the first to offer to be his, he’d know he didn’t have to be nervous,” Steve insisted. "I’ve never served a god before either! I wasn’t sure I could have faith at all until I learned about him. So like, if he’s new to it then so am I, and we’d figure it out together.”
“...you really mean that, don’t you? You’d let him make it up on the fly if he took you on.”
“Well, yeah,” Steve shrugged.
“You’d keep coming back even if he rejected you?”
“Yep.”
“But why? That’s so stupid. Nobody would do that!” The man sounded frustrated.
“I’m not really known for my smarts,” Steve said matter-of-factly. “Robin and Dustin had to translate the only book we found about the Lord of Night because I definitely wouldn't have been able to. It was a tiny book but it still took them ages to do because the language doesn’t really exist anymore. So they told me it’s possible it’s not accurate. It felt true, though, to me. 
“There was this quote, I can’t recite it word for word, but…it was something about how monsters don’t always look monstrous, and the monstrous aren’t always things to be feared.”
“That sounds ridiculous,” the man protested. Steve shook his head.
“No, it’s true! Like, I know I’ve got a pretty face and really great hair,” he smirked when he heard the man scoff, “but I was such a fucking asshole when I was younger. I went around hurting people on purpose, tearing them down for no reason other than I was hurting too, and that’s the shittiest reason to hurt anyone. I had to get some sense knocked into me by the people I call friends now. 
“My friends are the greatest people I know, and I’m really lucky to have them, but to everyone else? My friends are losers. They’re rejects because they don’t act right or they don’t look right; they talk too much or too loudly. People treat them like shit because they're different. 
“And after I noticed that, I started seeing it more even if I don’t always pick up on it. And I still mess up sometimes. I'm not a god, I can't change the world but…in the stories Robin and Dustin translated, the Lord of Night helped people like my friends because it was always the weak and rejected that try to hide themselves in the dark. I want to help those people find him again so they know they’ve got someone holy in their corner. They should know someone loves them enough to protect them.”
Steve didn’t really know where all those words came from; he wasn’t a wordsmith like Robin and Dustin. He always had a hard time verbalizing his thoughts, and he usually messed up the words. Nonetheless, these words had almost burned to be said. 
When the speech that flowed from him finally reached a natural end, he felt…lighter, cleaner. He felt like his shield and sword when they were polished to a shine. But when he turned to see his audience’s reaction, the man had gone. Steve felt strangely dejected instead.
The eighth night:
“Hey, it’s me again. My supplies are low and I don’t know what your thoughts about hunting on your land are so I’d rather not…I don’t want you to think I’m disrespecting you. I might have to leave soon to get more supplies,” Steve swallowed nervously. “Which isn’t an ult..ultimate…? No, damn, what is it called? I’m not trying to force you to talk to me before then, is what I mean. Not–not that I could! With you being a god.” 
Steve scoffed at his own blundering. He should’ve had Robin help him make speech notes. Cards with conversation starters. Something! He took a deep breath and tried again.
"But I'm coming back, I promise. I meant what I said about fixing up your shrine. I’ll commission a new plaque and I’ll talk to the stonemason about replacing your plinth. I don’t know a lot about sculpture, but I’ll get you the strongest type of stone and get something nice carved on it. Your flowers? Or cats? Cats are cute. Maybe your bats would be better…?” Steve trailed off.
It was quiet save for the faint rustle of leaves in the cool breeze. The full moon illuminated the area more than ever before. The shrine must have really been a beautiful sight back in its heyday. The thought of it sent a pang of longing through his soul.
The hour came that the strange man usually showed up. Steve steeled himself for another round of questions, another jab at his faith. The hour went by with Steve alone in the clearing. Steve frowned.
“Do you think he’s okay?” 
Steve’s question went unanswered.
After another hour without seeing his stranger, Steve had finally convinced himself to round the perimeter for a quick check in case the man was nearby or in need of assistance. When he found nothing, he checked again in case he missed something. 
Still nothing. Uneasily, Steve gave up his search and returned to the shrine. He knelt before it again, head bowed. He cleared his throat.
“Lord of Night, I don’t know his name, and I know he’s been rude–annoying–but could you please watch over the man? Please keep him safe from harm for as long as the stars shine tonight. Thank you.”
He received no response, but Steve had faith. He knew he was heard. He knew his god wouldn’t let an innocent come to harm if he could prevent it.
ps: i do not do those reader tag list things. if you’d like to keep up with my stuff, follow my writing tag: trensu tells stories
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