#[ he never wants to hurt his loved ones but he will constantly bc he loves so much and freely and carelessly and im

[itsalwaysforyou]

just remembered a wip i had which was jay at uni meeting normal people and desperately trying to act cool and normal whilst internally screaming about being in a whole new place with all new people and not having his gang with him

[mewtwo24]

You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.

Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡

Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme

[loverdotpng]

Found more really cute images of him

[skunkg1rll]

i cant stop thinking abt him... have been doing that all daynd i feel so sad nd my heart hurtsso bad nd i long for him sm it's just a bad day :((

[pirateborn-a]

      he is literally So selfish im just--

[vampsired]

Random things about JJK characters

cast ᯓ✦: gojo, geto, shoko, nanami, haibara, utahime. BOLD = favs

GOJO SATORU

1. Will interrupt you with the loudest ‘WHAT?’ if he couldn’t hear the start of whatever you were saying.

2. Chokes on food and drink too many times to count

3. Has a violent pollen and dust allergy but still loves flowers and is the first to go headfirst into old dusty places (twin)

4. His jokes almost always fail… horribly

5. Sun burns easily

6. Doesn’t know how sit like a normal human being and hates sitting still for too long; just asks to go to the bathroom to get a lil stroll in

7. Addicted to sweet stuff

8. Gets everyone sick when he’s sick, but always denies it

9. Hates silence, he’s mr yapper #1 - (haibara is #2)

10. Whenever he gets a crush or a slight interest in anyone, it’s everyone’s problem and everyone has to hear about it

11. Violently extroverted and the biggest hypocrite you have ever met

GETO SUGURU

1. Tackles people as a form of bonding and he loves poking people bc he knows it hurts

2. Laughs a little too hard at jokes Gojo makes which were not funny at all so he doesn’t feel bad

3. Smacks his hair into peoples faces whenever he goes to redo his bun

4. Thinks different hair textures and types are so cool

5. Owns an electric guitar (rockstar geto🥴)

6. Defo wants to own a motorcycle or alr has one

7. Obsessed with horror movies that it’s almost borderline worrying

8. Loves breakfast foods

9. Can sleep anywhere, no matter the surface or what going on around him

10. Gives the stankest side eye whenever someone comments on his bangs

11. Has a very good spice tolerance ~ puts hot sauce on everything

SHOKO IEIRI

1. Notorious for eye-rolling

2. Loves medical shows and cackles whenever someone (namely gojo) gets disgusted by the portrayal of organs

3. Hates cooking

4. Complains about having a dry throat worried she might’ve contracted a cold while smoking right infront you

5. Can’t nap unless she’s extremely tired, like she can’t nap until her body is borderline shutting down (same)

6. Always says she’s going to stop smoking, stop eating junk food, stop having energy drinks, stop ordering out - but never sticks to it

7. Trips over stuff constantly and stubbed her toe alot

8. Has a obsession with minture stuff

9. If she wears makeup, she always removes it off her mole and quite likes even tho she was told to remove it when she got older (she never did <3)

10. Yells at the TV whenever something she’s watching annoys her

11. Giggles at the nude medical diagrams in textbooks

NANAMI KENTO

1. Absolutely loves the smell of books

2. Has prescribed glasses for reading and writing but doesn’t wear them unless he’s by himself

3. Knows cool random facts

4. Hates when people touch his face

5. Doesn’t particularly like hugs unless it’s from someone he likes

6. Loves cats

7. Very peculiar about shoes

8. Enjoys poetry and horror mangas (exchanges mangas with suguru)

9. Very talented at drawing, haibara always asks him for help to draw little stuff on cards or to show him how draw small things on his book in class when it’s boring

10. Absolutely hates liars. When people drag on jokes with lies for a little longer than needed; he hates that too

11. Hums sometimes and gets v embarrassed when he’s caught + he tells no one his music taste, haibara probs noticed it tho

HAIBARA YU

1. Very passionate about Spider-Man (me too bro) - loves Miles

2. Cuddles with a stuffy or pillow whenever sleeping/napping

3. Hates long car rides because he feels cramped

4. Day dreams with his eyes wideee open

5. Whenever he wears socks on wooden floors he’ll slip atleast once

6. His eyebrows furrow whenever he’s thinking

7. He’s such a bad liar, it’s acc so funny bc he can’t contain smirking

8. Accidentally wears mismatched socks and some teachers sanctioned him for it

9. Quotes well known saying wrong

10. Always is dropping his pens trying to spin them in his fingers like nanami can, but can’t rlly get the hang of it

11. Loves juice, his favourite is mango and apple juice. He doesn’t really care for orange juice.

UTAHIME IORI

1. Plays with the ends of her hair a lot of the time

2. Always cold

3. The worst person to send notes to because she makes it so obvious

4. Has beautiful handwriting

5. Is very bad at understanding sarcasm and also gets very mad when sarcasm is used to point out a stupid question

6. Scared of dogs IRL but loves watching cute dog videos

7. Violently dances to girly songs

8. Loves hugging her girl friends for a long time, find it awkward to hug guy friends in general but doesn’t mind it

9. Jumps up and down and air punches when describing a situation which annoyed her. (realll)

10. Dress to Impress fiend alongside Gojo and Haibara, (Suguru helps Gojo, and Nanami helps Haibara ~ however they both dont like the game but have good opinions)

11. Is the type to get irrationally mad at that one friend who purposely gets them mad (Gojo)

© vampsired on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.

🔗 divider link (credits) masterlist send requests ᡣ𐭩

reblogs are heavily appreciated ᡣ𐭩

AN: the support I’ve been getting recently has actually surprised me, thankyou so much everyone <3

[strwberri-milk]

Hi! Can you do each lad boy on how they would be with a sensitive reader? (As in like they are emotional and get their feelings hurt easily and stuff)

im combining these two bc they are very sim to me <3

Zayne is very good with your feelings, thankfully. He learned very quickly what sorts of things upset you - not by doing them himself but simply by asking you what your boundaries are. That means typically, he's not the one who's going to be hurting your feelings unless something very extreme happened.

More likely than not, if you're upset it's either because of something you saw or something someone else said to you. Thankfully he's going to try to comfort you, telling you that whatever they told you doesn't matter because at the end of day you know who you are and that's all that matters. You thank him for helping rationalise your feelings, knowing that you can always depend on him to help you out whenever your feelings are hurt.

When you're watching sad movies Zayne always makes sure he's already holding you. He tucks your head under his chin and wipes away your tears whenever you start tearing up. He thinks it's adorable how touched you are by movies but he'll never say it aloud, worried you'll grow insecure if he points it out.

Xavier seems a little apathetic when you don't know him as well which means sometimes you worry he doesn't actually like you as much as he says he does. It takes him a bit of time for him to pick up on your insecurity but once he does he's very good at affirming his love for you through his words. He doesn't speak much but when he does he definitely makes sure his affections for you are felt.

He also doesn't shy away from defending you if someone says something to you while the two of you are out. He's more than happy to defend you and make sure that you know that he doesn't think whatever it is that the other person seemed to be insinuating. He'll remove you from the situation and comfort you once things settle down, wanting you to use him as an emotional crutch.

Whenever you watch a movie that makes you sad Xavier's there to wipe your tears away. He lays down with you as the two of you watch, holding you tightly as he tries not to doze off to keep an eye on you. Even when he does the comforting sound of his breathing thankfully helps keep your emotions at bay, letting him hold you as you watch the movie alone.

Rafayel is a little tough at first because his words can definitely be biting. He's playful and a little harsh at times which means if you take everything he says personally you will not have a good time with him. That doesn't mean that he's going to hurt your feelings on purpose - just that sometimes the things he say might hurt you if he doesn't think about it.

Despite that he's very gentle with your feelings. Once he figures out what sorts of things you don't want to hear he'll be more intentional with his words and reassure you whenever you need it. He also does have lots of pretty words for you which is very great, letting you bask in them if you're having a rough day emotionally.

The two of you get affected by movies, but you more physically than him. Rafayel tends to keep his more intense emotions on the inside but when you're openly reacting to a movie he's there to comfort you however you need to. Whether that be wiping your tears or being a punching bag when you get mad at a character he's there for you.

Sylus is also hard at first, more so than Rafayel only because he doesn't seem playful about his biting words. If you don't pay attention to the way he looks at you or the softness in his touch towards you then you might not realise that he's actually very deeply in love with you.

He'd have to explain himself to you time and time again and tell you that he does care for you. He definitely does become softer over time but his way of speaking might just be disagreeable if someone is incredibly sensitive. You don't have to doubt his feelings though because he's constantly holding you or trying to kiss you silly, gently teasing you if you're needy and reminding you how much he loves you.

He'll tease you slightly for reacting so strongly to movies but he's the one holding you to his chest and running his thumb over the back of your knuckles. He's comforting you physically even if he's slightly teasing you, reassuring you that you aren't too much for him and he really doesn't mind taking care of you.

[ssailormoonn]

❛ GENTLE ❜

HImejima Gyomei x Fem!Wife!Reader

WC; 1.3k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW :: x fem reader, fem pronouns, fem bodied reader, oral -> female receiving, male giving, fingering, praise, slight overstimulation? implied size kink, reader is smaller than Gyomei + probably more

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) could you write a Gyomei Himejima x reader smut. Because I think her would be SO gentle if her ate them out. And would constantly check in on her and maybe at the some after care. - ANON

A/NOTE :: This has been re uploaded bc it wasn't showing up in tags :(

m.list | demon slayer m.list

You were sprawled out beneath Gyomei, your legs over his beefy shoulders and your head thrown back against the plushy pillow beneath your head. There was also a smaller pillow propped underneath your hips, Gyomei said that it would make it more comfy for you and it did. He always worried about your pleasure and comfort.

"G-Gyo," you whimper out as his nose bumps against your clit.

"Are you okay?" he asks, worried about how much your voice was whimpering at the small amount of contact with your most sensitive area.

You squirm under the hold Gyomei's hand on your thighs, back subtly arching into his face, wanting to indulge further in his touch. 

"Yeah," you say breathlessly.

"You'll be alright, my love," Gyomei reassures, placing soft and fluttery kisses on your stomach.

You shiver underneath the simple gestures, awaiting when he puts his tongue and fingers to use. 

"'M know, Gyo," you replied, your fingers interlacing with his short black strands. "You're jus' so big."

Gyomei lifts his head towards yours, wondering what you meant as his intent was to pleasure you on his tongue. However, he quickly realises that you were referring to how thick only one of his fingers was, and he would usually use two. A frown crosses onto his face, worried that through out all the times you tow have been intimate with each other, he had been causing you pain. 

"Have I been causing you pain, my love?" he asked worriedly.

"Wha-! No, Gyo," you replied. "It's just' you're so much sometimes, takes me so long to get used to and I finish so quick." 

You finish so quickly because of the sheer size of him.

Gyomei descends once more to your most sensitive area, your soaked cunt. "You need to tell me if I hurt you."

"You never hurt me, Gyo," you said while a shaky breath leaves your mouth.

A whimper leaves your mouth when he places a kiss on your clit and your thighs clench around his head. You attempt to arch away from the overwhelming sensation but Gyomei's grip keeps you in place. 

"G-Gyo," you moan out.

"I know, love," Gyomei reassures. "It's okay, I'm here, tell me if it's too much."

God, he was so gentle with you that it felt like you would break beneath his touch. His grasp on your thighs somewhat relaxed, giving you a tangible reassurance that you could pull away if necessary. However, he cherished it because you were so little in comparison to him and beneath him that he was afraid to shatter you.

Once more, Gyomei's nose brushes up against your delicate clit, and your grip on his hair tightened. A satisfied sigh seeps through him into your folds as a mewl from your full lips.

"Are you okay?" he asks before licking a long stripe up your folds and you moan, your back arching and your cunt pressing further into his face which he relished in. 

You whimpered before answering, trying to gather your scattered thoughts, "Yeah, 'm am, Gyo."

He loves you so intensely it hurts, and your response makes his heart sing. His tongue climbs up from your wet hole to your clit while you let out a moan. Your thighs tighten around his head as a result of his constriction, and as you grind down on his face, a moan echoes through your clit. Your lips were filled with chants of his name, and he relished every moment of it.

"Gyo, f-feels s' good," you moan, tears welling in your lash line, he was making you feel so good. 

"You're okay?" Gyomei asks.

When you feel a thick finger push past your closing walls, you furiously nod your head, your eyes expand, and you cry with delight. It felt so fantastic that you never want it to finish, even though you thought you would break because he was so huge.

His finger pressed up against that soft spot inside your walls. Gyomei was slow with his pace as he curled his fingers every time he entered your cunt, along with sucking and licking at your puffy, sensitive clit. 

"You're being so good, you're doing so well," Gyomei moans against you, refusing to rut his hips into the mattress, this was your pleasure, not his own. 

A moan arouses from you and your hips grind themselves onto his face. He let you for once have some sort of control over the situation, and he decided that if you came quicker he'll let you do it more often. "That's it," he praised.

His motions become more rapid and needy as you cry his name through broken letters, and the one hold he held on your leg tightens. Your stomach coil tightened, and your fingers wrapped around his locks to stop him from moving and make him sigh deeper into your folds.

The only thing the groans did was push you over the edge, and when he placed his tongue firmly against your clit, a quiet scream from your lips. Your stomach coil unwound, soaking his face completely.

He slowly removed his fingers from your drenched pussy, your cum spilling out from your puffy folds. Before rising his head, he places a kiss on your clit and your mewl softly in overstimulation.

"Are you alright, love?" he asks worried, kissing away the pleasure-caused tears streaming down your cheeks and the side of your face.

You hmm in peaceful contentment as he peppers gentle and soothing kisses to your face. "I am, dear," you reply.

"You did so well, you took me so well," Gyomei praises.

A mumbled thank you leaves your lips before you wrap your arms around Gyomei. "I'm s' tired," you slur out.

"I'll clean you up, don't worry," Gyomei says. "I'll wash you up."

Your eyes widen, "But what about you?"

"Giving you pleasure makes me feel more pleasured than anything," he reassures before adding, "Let's go clean up." And he picks you up to take you to the bath.

The warm steam rises from the bathwater as you and Gyomei settle into the large, wooden tub, its surface rippling gently with the movement of your bodies. The fragrant scent of lavender and eucalyptus fills the air.

Gyomei helps you ease into the bath, his strong hands guiding you gently. The water is pleasantly hot, enveloping you in a soothing embrace. As you both get comfortable, Gyomei sits behind you, his broad back against the tub’s edge, creating a space for you to lean back against him.

So warm.

He takes a soft washcloth and dips it into the warm water, wringing it out before gently placing it on your shoulders. His touch is careful, his movements deliberate as he begins to wash away any pain or soreness that you have gotten.

"You did so good for me," he murmurs, his voice a calming rumble against your ear. "I’m proud of you, you're so good."

You close your eyes, savouring the tenderness of his touch and the warmth of the water. Gyomei's hands move with care, his touch so gentle with your body, ensuring you feel safe and loved by him.

As he washes your back, he occasionally leans forward to press soft kisses to your neck and shoulders, each one causing butterflies to rise in your stomach. You can feel his breath on your skin, adding an extra layer of warmth.

After you’ve been thoroughly pampered, Gyomei carefully helps you rinse off, his hands guiding the water over your body with a steady, reassuring touch. He then takes a moment to gently brush your hair, running his fingers through it.

Once the washing is done, he wraps you in a large, fluffy towel, his movements slow as he dries you off with care. His touch is gentle, making sure every inch of your skin is dried and warm. His steady heartbeat and the warmth of his body against yours create a sense of profound peace, and you feel a deep connection with him.

"You’re my everything," he whispers, his voice filled to the brim with love. "I want to take care of you always."

You smile, resting your head on his chest, and let the soothing warmth body against you lull you to sleep in his hold, because you know that if you fall asleep, he will be there to dress you and take to to bed. And you will be safe in his arms. 

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | demon slayer m.list

[hannieehaee]

can u do how svt members act during their girlfriend's first time, please? sorry for my bad english

18+ / mdi

their first time with their virgin s/o

content: established relationship implied, smut, mentions of penetrative sex, reader is a virgin, mentions of losing virginity, etc.

wc: 724

a/n: such a cute concept omg i hope u like it!!!

masterlist

seungcheol -

goes crazy at the thought of being your first but holds back to prevent scaring you off. plans your first time to the t, wanting to make it as loving as humanly possible. sensual in the way he undresses you, kisses you, gets you ready and eventually makes love to you. would have to constantly muffle groans at the pleasure you so effortlessly gave him.

jeonghan -

coo's and praises you constantly. treats you like royalty, teasing you but also overwhelming you with his touches. drives you to the edge of losing your mind many times before taking it all away with a wicked laugh. super soft during it all, but still tortures you with pleasure you'd never felt before.

joshua -

the epitome of a gentleman. seduces you for days until you finally fall into his arms and beg for him to take your virginity. touches you in places you didn't know could bring pleasure until driving you into desperation. slow and attentive when it comes to actually making love to you.

jun -

so nervous aaahhh!!!! but he's an absolute gentleman and prioritizes you over everything so he pushes any nerves aside to make your first time as perfect as possible. has to hold back from cumming the moment he sees you naked for the first time, but manages to make the experience perfect for you.

soonyoung -

will try not to show it but he'd be soooo anxious to be your first time. sometimes his emotions get the best of him, so he'd be afraid that his lust would be too obvious. would still be super soft with you, becoming instantly infatuated with your naked form.

wonwoo -

would be so soft and attentive to you, never letting his hands stray away from you. kisses every inch of your body with murmured praise into your skin. your pleasure absolutely comes first, so he'd prolong his own to prioritize yours. goes at your pace and holds himself back to make you feel as comfortable and loved as possible.

jihoon -

visibly nervous and fidgety, but super sweet to you. stops every five seconds to ask for permission before making any move, then proceeding to ask you if you were okay or if it felt good. loses his mind the moment he feels you, but still holds back and remains a gentleman throughout.

seokmin -

so so so so thankful to be the one you decided to give your virginity to. literally worships you every second in which he holds you in his arms. anxious about it all but pushes it aside to prioritize your pleasure and comfort. literally the best person to take your virginity bc he takes it to heart and gives you his soul.

mingyu -

prepares the perfect night for you, cooking a romantic candlelit meal and grooming himself perfectly for seduction. guides you through it all and teaches you everything there is to know without judgment. provides you with the greatest pleasures possible, creating the most loving atmosphere for you.

minghao -

he's the perfect person to lose your virginity to lol he'd be so loving and such a gentleman throughout it all. whispers praise and compliments into your ears and marks your body with love bites. draws out the experience for hours by making you cum with every other mean possible before actually taking your virginity.

seungkwan -

super nervous about it!!! does not want to risk disappointing you or somehow hurting you so he's just a nervous wreck. in the end, he lets himself relax by communicating with you during it all, wanting nothing more than to provide you with a loving and memorable experience. would maybe make some jokes during it whilst also worshiping you.

vernon -

is mostly casual about it, but is still slightly nervous to be the one to take your virginity. would be super nice and go at your pace, dropping a few jokes to make you feel comfortable and at ease. immediately entranced by how pretty you are and driven by the lust you cause him.

chan -

super cheesy about it all. plans a day with you in which you'd do it and creates the perfect ambience with rose petals, wine and candles. makes love to the entirety of your body with his lips before finally fucking you. the type to cuddle and hold you the entirety of the night.

[7ndipity]

BTS As Girl Dads

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: Headcanons about how the members would each handle being girl dads

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks to @coffeedepressionsoup for this request! This got me soo in my feels, they’d all be such great dads(I may have gone a lil self indulgent but who cares lol). Obviously, some/most of these could also apply to any kid, regardless of gender, but for the sake of the Hc, we’re focusing on daughters

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

He’s honestly such a girl dad, argue with the wall

I totally see him wholly embracing the title and all the things that are typically considered ‘girly’, like pink and sparkles and all that

He would indulge every single one of her interests. She likes animals? They’re going to the zoo every weekend. She likes music? He’s signing her up for lessons for whatever instrument she’s into

I have this mental picture of them sitting on her bed together while he’s reading her bedtime stories, using all these silly voices and wearing one of her princess hats or something bc she insisted he needed for the character and just-😭

Yoongi:

Yoongi would be the softest girl dad ever, like she had him wrapped around her finger from day one. He took one look at her tiny little scrunched up face, that reminded him waay too much of his own expression when he’s annoyed, and he was a goner

I see him just sitting soo patiently while she gives him makeovers, wearing like three different pairs of clip-on earrings at the same time

He would really focus on teaching her to stand up for herself and makes sure she never takes any shit from anyone

He might come off a little stern sometimes, but it’s just because he worries and wants the best for her

Hobi:

Okay, Hobi as a girl dad might be one of my favorite headcanons, bc he’d be soo fucking sweet with them!

The tea party King. Like he shows up dressed in the most ridiculous outfits to make her giggle, and ready to talk imaginary gossip with her and any plushies that are joining them🤭

He would love shopping with/for her, constantly trying to find the coolest outfits or pieces for her, and they would definitely wear matching outfits when she was little(she would be the best dressed toddler ever, lol)

I also see him being quite protective of her at times, being super nervous/worried about her doing things like riding a bike for the first time or on her first days of school

Namjoon:

Omg Namjoon as a girl dad would be soo fucking protective. Like if someone does anything to hurt or upset her, they’re fucked

I see him loving daddy-daughter days out together, taking her to the park or museums or bookstores, really just wanting to indulge her curiosity and interests

Like Yoongi, he would really work to make sure she knows how to stand up for herself, as well as others

For all of his sternness tho, he would have the biggest soft spot for her, he’s 100% the type to let her have dessert before dinner or something bc she gave him puppy eyes

Jimin:

Omg he’s soo girl dad coded, like it’s not even funny(he literally confirmed that on that ep of “are you sure?” like 🥺)

He would treat her like a little princess, doting on her at every possible opportunity, buying her toys/clothes/treats, taking her on special outings, etc. If she wants something, he will do whatever he can do give it to her

He would not be able to stand seeing her in any sort of pain. Like even her just having a scraped knee would make him slightly misty-eyed, even tho she’s not upset/crying about it

I see them having lots of long talks about whatever’s on her mind. He would really strive to be her safe place to ask questions about anything, from school and friends to life and the future

Taehyung:

I see him being an amazing girl dad! He has this amazing, comforting dynamic with the girls that he’s worked with/is friends with, so I can only imagine how supportive he would be with his own daughter

He would be so indulgent in whatever she wanted. Ice cream before bed? Heck yeah, let him grab a spoon too. She wants a new plushie/toy even tho she just got one like yesterday? Well, the new one needs a friend, soo-

But he would still have his more stern/protective moments with her, just moreso in little ways like making sure she’s always wearing her helmet and elbow/knee pads, brushes her teeth, does her homework, etc

He would play along with all/any of their imaginary games, fully committing to the role(and adding waay too many silly death/fainting scenes bc they make her laugh)

Jungkook:

Junkook would absolutely adore a daughter. Like she would be his little princess and anyone/anything that upsets her will have to answer to him.

On the flip side of that protectiveness tho, he is so unbelievably gentle with her. As an infant, he handled her like she was made of glass, and as she grows up, he would always speak to her in a softer tone than he uses for anyone else 

(Also dodon’t think about him singing her to sleep every night as an infant. Getting up with her in the middle of the night and walking her around the house, singing to her softly till she drifts back off to sleep in his arms)

He would love teaching her things and playing games with her(I totally picture him teaching her boxing in tiny and falling over all dramatic when she lands a hit, lol)

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @classicalelephant @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @universal-travel-er @bo0ghol @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[mybelovedwoo]

song mingi as boyfriend - headcanon

headcanon, romance, fluff, smut

gn!reader x bf!atz

wc. ~0.8k

an: happy mingi day everyone!!

you can request headcanons if you want to (please only headcanons)!! if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3

masterlist

- the type of boyfriend who will be obsessed with you, and his whole personality would be around loving you and being the best boyfriend possible

-his lockscreen is you smiling for a picture he took on a date, he has playlists on his phone made just for you that you listen to whenever you are together and he talks about you all the time, like always has a fun fact to add about you in a conversation "you know when y/n was a child she liked that too" or "my girlfriend can also do that"

-he would give you the entire world if he could, unfortunately, he can't, but he would do everything with his power to make you feel like you are the most important, precious thing in this world (and next to him you actually feel like it)

-he would quite literally take you everywhere with him, to his studio, to dance practices and schedules, and if you go somewhere he would follow you around too, shopping and even meeting up with your friends

-he likes casual dates, like going out to eat (but not a too fancy place, more like a bbq) or going to the arcade or to the movies

-has a list on his phone about the things you like, and every time a birthday or Christmas, or any holiday comes he opens it and buys a thing from the list. looooves to give you gifts, especially clothes that he thinks would look good on you

-incredibly loyal, he will never leave you behind ever, and you can always count on him, he literally would drop everything if you ask him to

-he LOVES to be pampered, I mean he is just a big baby who loves cuddle time, and also appreciates when you cook for him (it just makes him fall in love with you even more)

-he can get very jealous sometimes, he just gets very sulky those times, but you just have to give him attention and lots of kisses for him and everything is okay

-constantly on a mission to make you laugh, but what makes you laugh actually the embarrassing things he does to make you laugh not the actual joke

-he loves to kiss the top of your head when you lean on him, it's a habit of his that he picked up due to his height

-he thinks you are the cutest human on planet earth and you think the exact same thing about him (bc he is)

-he will get all giggly when you initiate a hug or a kiss, but his favorite is when you hold his face and look deep into his eyes, he probably would get a heart attack from that, he can't take compliments either he would blush so hard

-his kisses are very slow and soft, but he would hold your face with one hand a bit roughly just to hold you secure, and the other hand is around your waist to keep you close to him

-he would call you nicknames like baby, princess or his personal favorite pumpkin, which is even your contact name on his phone

nsfw +18!!!

-so I think mingi is a switch, he could be a soft dom (but not as soft as san if you know what I mean), but he's rather a sub, he likes it when you take control, he thinks it's extremely hot, but doesn't mind taking control either if you're in the mood for that

-it always starts out very soft and romantic, just like his kisses. cuddle times lead to sex 70% of the time, he just wants to feel you even closer to him

-other times he is just really horny, but that's a whole different kind of sex, it would be hot and steamy, like when he comes home all frustrated from practice because he was thinking about you the whole time, or when he gets a bit jealous because you got a bit too close to another member

-when he is a dom ohh boy you'll have a long night. he would do literally anywhere, in the kitchen, in the shower, on the couch

-manhandles you shamelessly, pushes you against the wall, and loves to slap your booty (but not in the way it actually hurts)

-but when he is a sub, he is so loving and careful, all light touches and tender kisses, he just wants to be babied at those times

-for positions, sub mingi loves it when you ride him, he loves the view he gets, but dom mingi loves a good doggy, also loves to view from behind 

-i think vocally he is a bit shy in the bedroom, wouldn't speak much during it, just groans a lot

-aftercare is really important for him but prefers it when you do it to him, or at least for it together, would be really soft and kinda in a sentimental mood after

[heartshapedcigaretteburns]

(RAHRWAHRAHAHAHWAHRAWR 😩‼️)

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who hates leaving you even before you start dating. He worries about you 24/7 while he's on a mission even if he knows you can take care of yourself.

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who can't help but feel like you're already family. You're at his parents house every holiday get together and you're friends with all his cousins and siblings. You're his plus one to every wedding. It'd be so easy for you to take his last name.

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who convinces you to move in with him. He says it's cost efficient but really it's because he can't stand being away from you more than he has to. He loves coming home to you just lounging or cooking bc it makes him feel like you're his little wife waiting for him to come home ☹️ he just wants someone to hold him when it's over. It also doesn't hurt that he gets to see you prance around with wet hair in just a t shirt (no bra 😏) and panties bc you hate the feelings of pants on your freshly moisturized legs.

This doesn't help the problem Childhood Bsf Soap! has of talking about you to his team like you've been married to him for years. Calls you his lass, the missus, his lady. "Can't make it to the bar tonight, the missus has been looking forward to this new movie so I'm gonna take my lass to see it." The first time he complained about your new partner his teammates were stunned bc this whole time they thought you were his gf/wife. Soap likes the idea of people assuming you 2 are a couple.

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who has never liked any of your past partners and always made it very well known bc this boy can't hide his emotions. If he has to be around the person you're talking to romantically he's constantly like this 😡 in the corner literally POUTING. He'll even go as far as trying to convince you to break up with them for something. "They didn't even know your favorite childhood cartoon! They obviously don't care about getting to know you on a deeper level maybe you should end it now 😁"

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who already knows your relationship preferences and love languages. When he finally decides he's had enough of the just friends thing he takes full advantage of the years he's spent listening to you rant about love and ramble about your dream partner. All of the sudden he's hitting you with all the aspects you want in a partner and it's not an opportunity any sane person could pass up.

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who traps you in the bedroom the night before a mission. He got the call just after lunch and you haven't left the bed since. Hours later, his head is on your chest and you're lazily stroking his mohawk and watching some cooking show on the tv. He stays buried in you all night even after he goes soft just to be as close to you as possible before he has to leave. He's praying he's allowed to come back to you again this time.

Umh 2nd ever time doing something like this 😬not as proud of this one bc I don't read much about Soap personally but I figured I started with Gaz so I might as well do another underated one. Soap needs some love too fr 💕 I really don't know what I'm doing y'all 😔😭

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen would act as a webtoon fantasy world prince

this was written with those virtual character dating simulation thingies in mind btw?? like. those unrealistic webtoon isekai-esque stuff. ive never played them before but this is based on my interpretation of them lmao

masterlist

seungcheol

either you fall in love with prince seungcheol at first sight or it's some charged enemies to lovers dynamic until someone finally realises they've fallen. he's just such a huge and great and formidable presence and he is just The Best protector. there's ofc gonna be some sort of altercation where you get hurt and you can bet that his eyes go stormy and he's asking "who did this to you" in a low voice, full of promise to murder anyone who hurt you. watches you with stars in his eyes when you descend the staircase in the beautiful outfit you're wearing as his partner to a royal ball, and that's how he knows that you're the one

jeonghan

prettier than you. every time he appears on screen there's a bunch of shiny sparkles and floating hearts and at least one of the other faceless side-princesses has to faint at his beauty in the background of the scene. he's charactertised by his soft eyes and the glinting teeth in his smile and the way he always has the most out-of-pocket sentences that leave his lips. he's really pretty and really smart but also???? unexpectedly does little things that show that he cares about you. prince jeonghan is written as the webtoon trope where he looks like a laid-back pretty boy but secretly loves you dearly and would defend you with his life

joshua

childhood friends who drifted away due to circumstances in their own kingdoms before finally reuniting at a ball and realising oh god... they both grew up to be so beautiful. there's some underlying, dramatic plot involving betrayal and corruption in the temple (dude it's always the temple) but your love for one another is always there, unspoken but ringing true constantly. does it kind of give you plot armour? yeah, bc the writer doesn't want anything to happen to joshua. (or you. but mostly joshua.) but there's also at least 6 shirtless prince joshua scenes bc the writer loves him so. take what you can get.

junhui

he's just Doing His Best okay. he's been married off to you, a royal from another kingdom, and he's kinda having a bad time bc the climate of your kingdoms are just so different but you're also kind of being all snappish with him like he chose to be married off to you?? but you're also really pretty and sometimes you're quite nice and it's obvious you're a good person from how you talk about your subjects and he knows that you don't like him but he thinks he might be falling in love with you, which is kind of confusing for everyone. comedy-fluff-misunderstandings webtoon style.

hoshi

playful younger prince. rebellious. you first meet him in some rundown, peasant area and you genuinely think he's just the illegitimate son of a noble rather than the prince himself bc he's just so friendly and blatantly disregarding all sorts of common court etiquette. as someone stifled by the rigid aristocratic structures, you find it refreshing, and talking to him is just so easy and you get to express yourself so well around him. before you know it, you're in love, and when you feel horribly betrayed at the reveal that he's the prince, well.... perhaps someone else out of the two of you managed to catch feelings too.

wonwoo

he's always so calm and composed and it makes you want to climb him like a tree and wring his shoulders to finally ruffle his leaves a little and find out what makes him tick. you want to be the one to crack the secret to prince jeon wonwoo, basically. will he let you? no. he hates you. at least, that's what you think, before something happens at a horse-riding tournament through the woods that you're participating in and your horse becomes out of control, and from then on, wonwoo never leaves your side. almost as if he was scared that he'd truly lose you, and he realises that he never wants that to happen, ever.

woozi

guys. guys prince jihoon is perfect for a prince x knight trope. prince jihoon who's head knight and always ends up sniping with you, the one knight in his charge that always snarks back. prince jihoon who spars with his knights often and always seems to be the closest in skill level with you. prince jihoon who mostly sees you in your armour so to see you dressed in finery at a ball makes him blink because you're actually rather beautiful. and you, who feel torn between your duty and the comfortable banter that you've developed with the crown prince that makes you crave more and more every time he turns to leave.

minghao

you rarely go out to balls but this time your family convinces you to come to the masquerade ball the royal family are holding for the crown prince. there, you meet a handsome masked man, who leads you through one of the fast dances and has you laughing into him before you share a fascinatingly intellectual conversation with him until the ball ends and from there, you're whisked away by your chatty (but well-meaning) family and you never see him again until a dramatic encounter at the market where you're about to get robbed but a familiar voice steps in. is it a cliche plot? yeah, but prince minghao is drawn to be utterly gorgeous so people will stay for the art

mingyu

is literally soooo drop-dead gorgeous that you promise yourself you're not gonna fall in love with him bc like???? he's the prince from a neighbouring kingdom that you're being forced to marry. this off-the-charts handsomeness is just a ploy to get you to act out a cliche of falling for him. but the more time you spend with him, the more you find that despite being (almost terrifyingly) handsome, he's also kind of... adorable? so... maybe you'll rethink your decision to not fall in love with him.... especially when he trips over his feet and accidentally blurts out how he's in love with you when on a walk in the palace gardens

dokyeom

ray-of-sunshine crown prince who is so annoyingly perfect that you feel kind of irritated. literally it's soooo obvious that the writer has a thing for puppy-coded sunshine bright boys bc it even makes the reader fall for him too. you have an (admittedly one-sided) rivalry with him, bc he's just so kind and loved by all and it fills you with hatred bc you've been nothing but despised and shunned your entire life. but then, some small, kind gesture that he does to you marks the beginning of change in your feelings, and it's as his eyes find yours during yet another ball that you realise... oh. perhaps you've fallen for him after all.

seungkwan

spoilt brat. but also your childhood best friend, so you've learnt to deal with his tendencies and know how to hold him back from kicking someone in the shins in a very un-royal way, and have even grown to love him. like a friend, ofc. however, the weird feeling in your stomach from seeing him having to entertain foreign royalty.... it's definitely not jealousy, right? definitely not. at least, you don't think it is, until seungkwan and you overhear his parents talking of an arranged marriage with another kingdom and you realise with startling clarity that you never want to lose seungkwan to someone else

vernon

honestly. vernon is probably the ordinary guy who was isekai-ed into a fantasy novel as the crown prince. but like, Why does he manage to do so well in his role???? he's panicking the entire time, but he's not necessarily doing badly, and he manages to make you fall for him even harder than you do in the original novel. the second male lead doesn't even have the chance to be an option bc vernon is literally the only person you see. he doesn't know how it happens, but he speed-runs the entire book in one month and then you're confessing your love for him and uh. he might actually be in love with you too.

chan

prince chan is the most gentle and most courteous prince of all time. bows all deeply and respectfully when you first meet him, and he's careful not to touch you without your permission. has such a captivating smile and such captivating words that you can't help but find your gaze gravitating to him at all times. stares at you all awed when you laugh at a particularly funny joke he made. he will 100% definitely treat you right forever. kisses you all soft when he leaves for a battle, your handkerchief tucked into his clothes as a reminder of what he can never leave behind

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @hanniehaee @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @jeonghanfr

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hi there!

If you still take stardew valley requests please write hurt/comfort with Shane and (gn) reader about Shane getting progressively more worried about the farmer each time they go mining because of all the injuries they get there to the point where one day he snaps and breaks down in front of the farmer. It would be nice if you could show shane slowly loosing his mind each day but that would probably make the fic longer so no pressure. just pls make sure theres comfort after the hurt, bad endings make me sad :(

Thank you in advance, and even if you choose not to write this i hope you still have a lovely day.

I'm always down for Shane angst <3

In my main file I fear he's like this bc I'm constantly coming back from the dangerous mines/skull caverns on like 1 hp at 1:50 am

......

(Spring, Year 1)

"Hi, Shane!"

"God, what do you want now?"

"Nothing. I'm off to the mines." You grinned at the rugged man in front of you, holding up your pickaxe. "I'm shooting for level 120 this time, and hopefully I can pick up more gems along the way."

Shane raised a brow. "...and I care because?"

"You don't have to. Just thought I'd let you know."

'What? Like you think I'll go looking for you if you pass out? Forget it. Whatever happens is your own damn fault."

"I know the risks, but thank you." You politely answered, ignoring his blunt rudeness before checking the monster slayer guide. "The Adventurer's Guild wants me to slay a ton of bats...only 200 more to go."

""Adventurer's Guild?" Sounds stupid and childish." He grumbled, taking a swig of joja cola in his grasp. He was already running late to work, and he didn't want to get yelled at by Morris.

And he certainly didn't want you, the new farmer who made it their mission to annoy the shit out of him everyday, being the reason.

"Well it's neither of those things. It's actually thrilling." You chuckled, before digging an emerald out of your pocket. "I meant to sell this yesterday, but you can have it."

"...the hell? What am I supposed to do with this?" His brows furrowed at the green mineral you shoved into his hand.

"Keep it..for good luck, I guess?" You shrugged. "You can put it in your pocket and forget about it if you want. I just wanted to give you something nice. Plus, not to be weird, but...it kinda reminded me of your eye color."

Normally, any other villager would've been thrilled that you wanted to befriend them with gifts that reminded you of them.....

Yet Shane just stared at you as though you've confessed to stalking him.

"If you wanna give me something that's actually "nice", buy me a beer at the saloon next time." He sneered, brushing past you and continuing towards JojaMart, while you headed north of town, already knowing what you're gonna do tonight.

When you looked over your shoulder, you could see him pocket the emerald rather than throw it away despite him passing by several trash cans.

And you smiled.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(Present Day)

"Awh, you still held onto that emerald even after all this time?"

"Yeah, so what? It was the first gift anyone's really given me.." Shane confessed, heat rising to his cheeks as he held the mineral between his fingers. "I never believed in all that crap about crystals and "energy" that Emily talks about. But..I just like keeping this one around. It's like...erm..."

"A testament to the start of our friendship and eventual marriage?" You cheekily grinned as you polished your weapon, before looking to your husband.

He nodded. "Exactly what I was gonna say."

"I know you so well." Chuckling, you walked over to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm gonna head to the mines, okay? Welwick says the spirits will shower everyone in good luck. I wanna see if the fabled prismatic shards really do exist."

Almost immediately, Shane froze..and he found himself wanting to desperately say "no" and convince you to stay on the farmhouse.

But he didn't know why.

From the moment he met you, he knew you sought adventure and profits in the mines, fighting all sorts of monsters for the Adventurer's Guild. He's seen skeletons, mummies, and golems caged up at Spirits' Eve festivals, but never the wild ones below the surface who attacked you relentlessly.

Yet you never let the constant dangers deter you from exploring.

Mining was exhausting work, yet rewarding every time you cracked a stone open to find a diamond or discovered a treasure chest. With the materials you've gathered, you were able to craft some rings to wear, enchanted with powers to help make your excursions easier and safer.

Despite being well-prepared, though, Shane did have his concerns...especially as once you came home after clashing with skeletons, a scar on your head from a flying femur bone that still hasn't fully healed.

You only went to Harvey to get it checked out after your husband--who was your boyfriend at the time--insisted on it.

Even before that, he'd see you around town, bearing a new bug bite, scratch, burn, bruise, or bandaid on your body.

It never worried him before, but after that skeleton incident, he finally understood that those monsters were real and you were seriously getting yourself hurt.

He'd go to the mines with you if not for his fears that he'll only make things worse. There's a good chance he'll slow you down and find himself getting swarmed by slimes, bats, bugs, and whatever the hell else was there....and he wasn't exactly the most fit to swing a sword or pickaxe.

Simple walks made him tired.

What good would he do?

"Shane? What's wrong?"

Blinking, he snapped out his thoughts and saw your concerned face. "Nothing, sweetheart." He dismissed, giving you a little smile. "Just be careful out there, alright? I'll take care of things here."

"Thank you, baby." Smiling back, you gave him a kiss before heading out the door with your backpack and tools. "Off to the bottom of the mines I go!"

Shane tensed.

"Wait-"

As quickly as the door opened, it slammed shut, and he was left by himself in the cabin.

It was an uncomfortable silence.

'Maybe I should've tagged along.....buh, what am I saying? They'll be fine. They do this all the time. Stop getting so worked up, idiot..' Clearing his mind yet again, he went off to check things around the farm for you, deciding to watch TV later on.

There was gonna be another Tunneler's game tonight, so at least he had that to look forward to.

Nothing like that, some good food in the fridge, and this cozy cabin he got to call home...

And it was all because of you.

If you could build everything here and still having the energy to go mining and fight monsters, why should he worry?

.

.

.

.

.

1:20 AM

After a productive day, Shane managed to fall asleep early for once.

Only be woken up by the creak of the bedroom door.

Light almost immediately flooded his vision, stirring him from his slumber as he grumbled and tried to shield his eyes, wondering what time it was.

"Fuck..morning already-?"

"No, honey..it's...just me. Sorry.."

He blinked, sitting up to see that it was only you coming into the room, removing your rings. One of them served as your light source, yet it didn't hide the numerous scratched and bruises that littered your skin.

And they were all fresh.

"Babe, wha...are you okay?" Shane was now fully awake, watching as you peeled off your jacket and trousers, tossing them into the corner of the room before dragging yourself into bed.

Only then could he see your injuries up close and personal, and his heart began racing. "What happened? You look like hell."

"I'm fine, Shane. I just..need to sleep it off.."

"B-But...there's blood everywhere.." He mumbled, his eyes going to the clothes in the corner. "I can call Harvey-"

"No..don't. I already patched myself up. I'll be fine in the morning..I just wanna be here with you." Smiling weakly, you kissed him, before putting the prismatic shard into his hand. "Look. It exists...haha...it's so pretty, right? It's yours."

He didn't know what to say, staring dumbfounded at the mineral.

What hell did you go through to get this?

And as much as he loved it..why get it for him?

Why risk your life?

But when he looked back to question you further, you were already passed out beside him, looking peaceful despite the wounds on your body.

Eventually, he slid the prismatic shard under his pillow and laid back down, only to hesitate in wrapping his arm around you.

All he could do was gaze at your exhausted face..and the dried blood under your nose.

Least to say, he had trouble falling back to sleep.

..........

Ever since that night, Shane's grown increasingly worried over your safety during your mining trips. And it began to affect his usual routine around the farm.

In fact, calling it "worry" at this point would be a heavy understatement..

It became straight-up paranoia.

Whether you headed off to the mines or Skull Caverns early because of an "extra lucky day" or simply because you needed a specific resource, you'd always come back home the same way:

At later hours, with more injuries and bandages than last time, constantly on the verge of passing out and barely able to hold a conversation with him.

Of course, you'd have breakfast with him, and you'd never leave the farmhouse without giving him a kiss...but it did nothing to ease his mind, as he'd constantly see your wounds and dread whatever horror stories you were about to tell him.

Even though you're perfectly nonchalant as you talk about a serpent who tried wrapping itself around you and squeeze every last breath out of your body, it made Shane feel utterly sick to his stomach.

How could you be so calm after so many brushes with death?

He didn't understand.

On the surface, he seemed fine with you leaving. But when you did, he'd find himself turning to beer to calm his nerves..although most days he was able to resist the urge and occupy himself with farming tasks or video games.

Despite this, he hasn't outright told you anything. He knew mining was your passion and thought you'd chastise him for "worrying over nothing".

So he kept it to himself, thinking his anxiety was being stupid.

Then the final straw came the evening when he got a call from Harvey's clinic around 5PM.

One that he hoped to never hear:

You passed out, and were currently being treated for serious injuries.

He bolted out the cabin, all the way to the town square and damn near broke the door down. There, Harvey, Linus, and Marlon were at your bedside, the latter two having brought you in after seeing you fall unconscious in from of the elevator, covered in blood and shrapnel.

Fortunately, you were expected to make a full recovery with just stitches and some IV fluids to rehydrate your body...but you still owed Shane one hell of an explanation.

This time around, you landed in an "infested" area of the 100s, trying to use a bomb to kill off most of the monsters.

Only to trip over a stupid lava crab and drop the bomb after you just ignited it, damn near losing your leg trying to kick it away from you in time.

And by the grace of Yoba, you were able to limp your way back to the ladder, return to floor zero, where Linus so-happened to be passing by the mine entrance.

You gave the poor old man quite a fright, as he didn't know how much blood on you was from the monsters...or you.

In the end, the bomb left shrapnel in your flesh, searing your clothing and requiring stitches to ensure you didn't bleed out. You appreciated Harvey for his quick work and for Linus and Marlon for taking you to him.

However nobody in that clinic was more terrified over your condition than Shane, who was in disbelief that you were able to stand and walk back home with him after getting discharged.

He wouldn't talk to you, although his hands shook as he helped you into bed, still sleeping beside you like he did every night before this.

But this time...he had the worst nightmare possible.

He was down in the mines with you, except he felt stuck and couldn't do anything to warn you or save you from the impending danger.

It was like he was spectating a game, instead forced to watch as the bats and monsters made of shadows descended upon you with their teeth bared and claws out, tearing into your body. You had yelled for him to save you, to stop being useless, damning him for not stopping you from leaving...yet their horrible noises drowned out any further shouts.

Then you were gone.

You were gone and he failed you.

And it was all his fault.

It made him joltbwide awake at 3 AM, and he felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest. His mind kept going to you, constantly checking to make sure you're still breathing, unable to fall back to sleep for a while.

When he did, he was in tears.

..........

"No."

"Shane, I know last night was bad. But I'm not-"

"You're not going to the mines today. I mean it."

Dumbfounded, you gazed at Shane, who was physically blocking you from leaving the cabin. A scowl was written all over his face.

You sighed and rubbed the side of your head. "It's only the first few levels, honey. Willy needed bug meat for-"

"Right. The "first few" you say, and then I'll get a call from Harvey at 2 AM about you needing emergency surgery again." He gritted his teeth, tears coming to his eyes. "Whatever he or anyone in this damn town needs in those mines can wait. Why can't you just stay?!"

"I don't understand.." Your eyebrows furrowed. "You never cared before if I went there. What changed?"

"What changed....? What changed is that I've been having a lot more of sleepless nights lately! I can barely eat or do anything except worry and worry about you. And it's because...because..." He trailed off.

"Because what?"

"......."

You sighed. "Shane, if you're not gonna tell me what's wrong, then I don't see why-"

"Because you've been scaring me to death okay?!" His hands now gripping your shoulders as he stared at you. "You think you're invincible, but you aren't. What don't you get?! How badly are you gonna let those things hurt you?! Or be the reason YOU DROP DEAD AND DON'T COME HOME?!!" He screamed.

Your own eyes widened, stunned by his words..and eventually you saw the realization flash across his face as he blurted out his true feelings.

The ones he tried to hide from you, yet consumed him for hours upon hours whenever you left for the mines.

It made your heart plummet.

His breath hitched, and you then saw the tears beginning to fall from his greenish eyes.

"Shane..."

"[Y/n], you saved me from throwing my life away. And...i-it's like you're throwing away yours for no reason!" He sobbed. "Night after night, I have nightmares of seeing your limp body..a-and....and I can't save you. I can't do anything except scream and beg them to stop hurting you! But they never listen! A-And...I just...I-I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you..."

He looked totally shattered, making you finally realize how serious this was.

Your guilt right now was immensurable, watching the man you loved fall apart right in front of you.

And it was your fault.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." You pulled him into a tight hug, and he completely broke down in your arms. His quiet crying became muffled by your shoulder. "I..I had no idea you were feeling that way. Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares sooner?"

"You would've thought..th-they were stupid. Or that I sound "needy" or controlling.." He sniffled. "I-I know I can't stop you from going, but...I just..a-after what happened to you last night, I...I.."

"Oh, honey..that was my dumb mistake. The monsters had nothing to do with my injuries." Rubbing his back, you gently kissed his head. "I was tired and got clumsy with a stupid bomb..but I promise it won't happen again. You're right. I'm not invincible. I need that reality check sometimes."

He didn't say anything, instead holding onto you tighter.

You never realized how badly your mining trips and injuries were affecting him...affecting this very relationship.

The Shane you met back in Year 1 could care less if you dropped dead. He outright said he'd never go looking for you and that whatever happened was your own fault.

But the Shane you knew now was crying in your arms over the mere thought that one day you'll go into the mines and never come out, holding it all in until he couldn't anymore.

You've really helped him open up to you, but now you were tearing him apart inside and never really knew it until this point.

"W-Will you just..stay here today, please?" He finally spoke, not caring about how needy or pathetic that sounded.

"...I will." You answered. "I'll take a break from mining for a good while."

"....you would do that for me?"

"Of course. I'd do anything for you, Shane. Hell..I'd give that up altogether if you wanted me to."

You felt him shake his head, and you chuckled, squeezing him tightly. "I'm only kidding, but I promise. No more mining this week."

Shane raised his head up, looking to make sure you were serious. And he saw nothing but sincerity in your expression.

You sighed softly and cupped the sides of his wet face, seeing the torrent of anxiety and frustration raging like an ocean current in his eyes. "You must've felt so lonely and terrified, baby..I'm sorry. I won't make you feel that way ever again."

He sniffled again as you brushed away his tears, before taking ahold of your wrist to kiss your palm...where your first scar from a rock crab came from.

How badly did he wanna kiss away every scar those bastards left on you until none remained.

Some faded with time and care, but others were more permanent--testaments to your survival down in the mines..as well as your several brushes with death.

Heat rose to your cheeks, watching him become so affectionate and gentle with you, even though he knows you're not made of glass whatsoever.

Eventually, his tears ceased as you both decided to go lay down on the bed together, with Shane cuddling up to you and resting his head on your chest. All he could hear was your strong heartbeat drowning out the noise in his mind.

It was still kicking, like you.

"Thank you..god, that was exhausting.." He mumbled. "I'm sor-"

"You don't have to be sorry for being honest with me." You reassured, petting his hair. "I just..wish I picked up the signs sooner."

"INah, I should've been clearer...and maybe that would spare myself this headache I got now.."

"Hmm..how about we sleep in until you feel better? Then we can check on the chickens."

Feeling him nod and wrap his arms around you, you took that as a "yes" and chuckled softly, knowing you weren't gonna leave this spot anytime soon.

But that's okay.

There's no other place you'd rather be. Not even the mines.

[reidmania]

let the grass grow | spencer reid

summary; you love spencer too let him stay while your world falls apart at your own hands.

warnings; hurt x comfort w no comfort, exes, angst w no happy ending, self depricating thoughts, insecurities, self sabotaging, avoidant attachment reader, fem reader, early seasons spencer, mentions of not eating, scars but never says whats from, arguments, but u guys love each other. its just sad tbh. 1.7k words

an; this is purely for my own sake and i wanted to make it a comfort but i genuinely couldn't bc this is a very real and relevant issue that no comfort seems to comfort so.. enjoy the pain?? song is let the grass grow by ruel, my man my man.

‘so I'll leave before you go, ‘cause there's no tears when it's my fault this self-sabotage, all of our other scars don't compare. take the river to the sea, drown myself, so I don't sink, find my peace there, underneath the hurricane, break a promise, so I can leave, burn a forest so i can sleep. lay my head stone and let the grass grow over me’

You could feel eyes on you everywhere, constantly throughout the entirety of the day. Even though deep down you knew no one was really staring at you the amount you built it up to in your mind. Constant judgement and quiet questioning from the gaze of your co-workers made your stomach fill with an overwhelming sense of sickness, it made you want to crawl into a hole and remain there in a foetal position for the rest of the time life offered you.

Quiet whispers of worry bounced around the building from your co-workers to one another, each one who had asked if you were okay throughout the day – multiple times, every to which you’d reply with a nod of your head and a forced smile on your lips that left indents on your cheeks, when your eyes remained the same distant and sullen that caused their worry in the first place.

It wasn’t until you were leaving the building you heard the same question after a whisper of your  name, but from Spencer.

Your head turned towards him faster than you meant it to, you swore any faster and you would’ve ended the day with not only a worse mood than you woke up in but also whiplash. Your eyes met his and you wished they didn’t. The care is held and balanced evenly in his eyes, causing a slither in the walls you had built up around yourself and everything that fell below surface level.

“Are you okay?” His eyes studied your face as if he would find any hint of truth in your expression since he knew better than to believe the lie that fell from your lips. Spencer Reid wasn’t an idiot, anyone and everyone was painfully aware of that, you were painfully aware of that. He hadn’t asked the question the same amount everyone else did, he hadn’t even talked to you today until now.

You nodded in response, casting your eyes away from his and back to the elevator you wished would hurry up. Two weeks, it had been two weeks since you broke up with Spencer, it had been two weeks of Spencer everyday asking you why, and it had been two weeks of you being unable to provide an answer that seemed good enough for him. Nothing you said seemed to help him understand why you would break off something that was going so well, that made you both evidently happy, everyone could see it, everyone watched you both pine after one another for years.

“Talk to me” He begged for what felt like – and probably was, the hundredth time.

Your head shook, because what were you supposed to say? What did he want you to say? You didn’t know and for you that meant you were better off not saying anything, maybe because the truth you fought to keep away from the open air seemed so pathetic and embarrassing it was better left unsaid. He was asking you to show him the deepest and worst parts of you and you were refusing and he just wouldn’t let it go.

“I don’t have anything to say” You replied, the same response as every other time he asked. It wasn’t enough, not for Spencer because he knew it wasn’t true.

He frowned, and it broke your heart. 

“I just want to understand,” He pleaded with you, reaching out for your hand. You pulled it away, what you were doing was mean, you knew that, it was unfair and mean to both him and yourself. Depriving you both of what you both wanted and yearned for so deeply all because you constantly felt like the world was closing in on you and things fell apart under your touch, it was just mean – but you weren’t cruel enough to allow Spencer the touch of your hand to pull it back all over again.

“I wish you would” You mumbled out, muffled enough you could convince yourself he didn’t hear even though you knew he did. You didn’t intend to be mean with your words, you wished he understood that you were physically incapable of what he was asking from you, it wasn’t something you could bring yourself to do.

The elevator dinged and the door opened and you were thanking the world, until Spencer got on next to you and now you were left in a confined space with the one person who seemed to break through the box of self deprecation you would bury yourself into, time and time again. You didn’t want him there, you didn’t want him in your space, in your mind and in the middle of your emotions that took you down day in and day out. 

You wanted him, that wasn’t something you tried to hide, just something you deprived yourself of because you didn’t want him to want you, you didn’t even want you. The fact someone else could, someone like Spencer, was overwhelming in a number of ways and it only furthered the insecurity that consumed you.

“I’m here, I know there’s more than what you’re letting on.” He said, you wanted to appreciate his effort of reassurance but it didn’t help. You loved Spencer, and you were now certain he was the sweetest person to ever exist. How could you allow yourself to indulge in something so sweet and so pure when you deemed yourself the opposite. You fell apart and buried yourself in your own issues, you spent days lying in the darkness of your bedroom body starved and scarred, you’d mull over every mistake you ever made and everything in your life that should have belonged to someone more deserving.

You didn’t answer him, so he spoke again. “I have been and I'm going to be here until you’re ready to talk about it” his voice was gentle and dripping with reassurance you wish you could accept because his words were suppose to be reassuring but they left a bad taste in your mouth and just made your heart clench tighter in your chest to the point you thought it might’ve stopped beating.

“I didn’t ask you to do that.” You said, not turning your head to face him but you were sure enough that they best portrayed what you were feeling, too much.

He let out a breath, a sigh of a sort and shook his head as he spoke, “I never said you did, I don’t mind waiting for you–”

There it was.

“I don’t want you to do that.” You snapped slightly, guilt instantly infested your gut but you couldn’t help it. You didn’t need him to wait around for this feeling to go away because it never did, your entire life, it never had and you didn’t imagine that changing. “I don’t want you to wait for me, Spencer. I don’t want you to just wait around for something that’s never going to happen, this won’t change. I made my decision” you huffed out the most you had said to him since that night you ended things which consisted of a teary eyed argument.

He dragged his hands through his hair as he tried to figure out what to say, then the elevator came to a stop and you were moving off it quicker than his brain could process and then he was following you and he was reaching out for your hand, even though he knew better by now. “You said you loved me, you said that while you were breaking up with me. You said you loved me and that you were sorry, you couldn’t do it anymore and then gave me nothing else” He stated, his eyes pleading for some sort of answer, something he could blame himself for.

That's not what you wanted, you didn’t want him to blame himself – that was almost a part of the whole point. If he blamed you for this, if you ended it now then there was no chance it would happen any other way. You could live with him blaming you with this, much better than you could live with getting hurt or inevitably hurting him. “I do love you Spencer” You said, you weren’t going to lie about that. 

Your arm pulled away from his touch but he only reached out again, “I’m trying to respect your decision, but I don’t understand. You love me but you don’t want me to wait, you love me but you broke up with me – I just- You’re doing this thing where–  you like to shut down and shut everyone out and I don’t want you to do that. If you don’t want to be with me then I’ll respect that but If you think I can stand around and watch you fall apart you don’t know me, and I would really prefer to think you did because for the longest time I thought I knew you and now finding out that maybe I don’t is– Well it sucks.”

You huffed out, you knew it was unfair and contradicting and you almost wished you had never gotten involved in the first place because you hated the fact you were hurting Spencer right now because your emotions were confusing. It was unfair. “I’m sorry” You started. He was right, you knew him and he knew you, on the slightest of a deeper level.

“Don’t do that. Don’t apologise and then brush it off. I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to be honest. You keep everyone at arm's reach, on surface level– I want more than that, I want to know you, and understand you, I want to understand this. Tell me what you need and I'll do it, but I need to understand why first.” 

How were you supposed to tell the single handedly most sweet, kind and perfect person that you were unable to provide him with the one thing he wanted – to know you. How were you supposed to admit that something as simple as that was too much to ask for. 

“There's this expectation that I can't reach, that I never have, never will and I love you, Spencer, that's true – but I'm not going to let you sit around and watch me fail time after time again to reach the expectation of basic human existence.” You shook your head as you pulled your hands away from his grasp, your body turned as you walked away.

He stood calling out your name but his feet stayed glued to the ground, and there was no response from you.

[ciy0]

☆*:.｡. MY ANGEL .｡.:*☆

Summary- Mingyu’s heart always had and always will belong to one girl. No matter how much she pushed and kicked him away he would always come back crawling on his knees gladly, because to him she was his everything.

Word count- 9.8k 💀💀 [say sike rn]

Content Warnings- 18+ Sexual Scenes and Vulgar Language, Angst!, Romance, Some Humor, Hurt and comfort, POV changes, Y/n is a ice queen/tsundere, Implied Foreigner, Mental health, Idol au!She is also apart of Le Sserfim, Nayeon & Mingyu date, other idols appear, Cheating mentioned, Insecurities, Breakups and Makeups, Verbally Abusive Parent, Mingyu begs on his knees, Head over heels inlove with Y/n, Cutting mentioned, Soulmate type beat, Y/n has it rough pls be nice to her, Pet names [PLS BE SAFE AND INCHARGE OF THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME]

A/n BRUH i WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS TO BE SO DAMN Long. I just wanted to write one scene i swear but then i had to make it make sense so then it jus kept getting longer and longer then i got invested oml. Anyways i used to write fics for anime’s but i retired that hat a while back, i’ve been inlove with Mingyu since forever so i felt compelled to write a fic about him bc he’s my comfort space :3

☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆

To many people being able to win the affections from Kim Mingyu was seen as a blessing from God and it was - atleast for Nayeon- but as her rose tinted shades slowly began to dissolve around month 3 in their fresh relationship she begrudgingly noticed many things in which she had not before (curse her attentiveness).

Finally getting to proudly proclaim Mingyu as hers within their idol friend circle was a dream come true. And to her he was nothing less than perfect, always attentive to her wants, needs, and desires and constantly showering her with boundless amounts of affection. But even she couldn’t fool herself as the new relationship smell began to waft away, and despite her desperate attempts to be as wonderful to him and he was to her one thing became painfully clear; Mingyu was not inlove with her.

Well obviously he didn’t hate her, nor did he make her feel less then. She’s sure that he had some sort of love for her since they were friends before becoming lovers but it wasn’t the kind that would lead to the house and the kids and the big white picket fence she so often dreamt about. It wasn’t the kind that she held for him.

In the beginning it was hard to tell, being so blinded by finally being able to be by his side. She had finally gained the courage to confess when he walked her home after an outing with mutual friends, ever the gentleman. Maybe it was the shots of soju at the time or maybe it was time of year where everyone wanted a lover for the winter holidays. She remembered faintly hearing a corny christmas song in the distance, probably from inside a nearby store, and the snow gently pattering on her face as they walked in a comfortable silence.

“I love you,” she whispered meekly seemingly out of nowhere. Her cheeks heated despite the cold weather as she stopped walking, eyes glued to the snowy ground. She worried maybe he didn’t hear or thought she meant as a friend but she heard a long exhale of breath from her left as his footsteps also came to their own halt a few paces ahead of her own. It was quiet for a bit, the only sounds being a distant holiday tune and the wind accompanied by snow. She squeezed her eyes shut preparing for the embarrassing rejection she foolishly set her own self up for. Mingyu always treated her well but never treated her more than a friend or different than anyone else and she knew that so why did she have to go and say something so dumb, so stupid! Was it because he offered to walk her home? Well he’s always like that it’s nothing special, ugh what if she ruined-

“… Then,” Large feet suddenly appeared right in front of hers jolting her out of her spiral of thoughts and a large warm hand rested on her cheek, gently urging her head up until her eyes met with his.

“…Are you busy tomorrow?” He grinned wolfishly with a small tilt of his head.

A few weeks of courting and cute dates led to him casually introducing Nayeon as his girlfriend at a friend’s dinner party, hands held together. It was so sudden but she couldn’t help but cheese goofily as he sat her down on his lap before smoothly joining into the rooms conversation. He’d softly caress her thigh and give her chaste kisses periodically throughout the night. She was happy, very happy in fact, happy and inlove. She finally had what she thought she always wanted and wished she could’ve lived in that bliss for forever but alas life was never that simple nor accommodating.

The first thing she noticed was the zoning out. The times when he’d be aimless staring at some spot in the room completely lost in a daze. It honestly didn’t happen too too often, a soft tap of the shoulder would instantly bring him back to her but she noticed it regardless. But one time it happened during a night of passion that often plagued her thoughts more than she’d like.

Nayeon buried her head further into the pillows as Mingyu rolled his hips languidly into hers. She gasped softly as she angled her head to gaze upon the adonis behind her only to see that far away look in his eyes again.

“ Fuuuuck,” He groaned throwing his head back,” Angel - ah sh-shit!” He shook his head as she squeezed him tightly from the endearing new petname [presumably meant for her] kicking him out of his stupor. He took a second to catch his breath, blinking in quick succession before laying his body on top of hers leaving a wet smooch on her shoulder.

“ That’s new” She moaned seductively before he drew his hips back to resume his pace from before. All he gave was a breathy laugh and more kisses as he focused on pleasuring her until she couldn’t think anymore.

She quite liked that nickname honestly, and the way he said it too “Angel”. He never called her so desperately before and quite frankly it turned her on so much— too bad she never heard it again though. Well not aimed at her.

The second thing she noticed was his chest. Well moreso his heart beat or lack there of? Whenever she was with him her chest would always be a mess of butterflies, hands shaking, breath short and yet when they’d cuddle on the couch, head pressed to his toned chest there was… nothing? Well aside from a very normal beating pattern which gave signs of life of course, he was as cool as a cucumber.

The involuntary signs of love weren’t there for him like they were for her despite kissing the ground he walked on. He never struggled to stare her deeply in her eyes, his palms never sweaty when holding hands, kisses- albeit plentiful and wonderful -never starved and desperate. She knew he’d been with many girls before her and that he was use to female attention so maybe those intense signs of love weren’t appearing because he had a lot of experience, or atleast that’s what she told herself to cope until she could no longer.

Nayeon hung out back stage as Twice just finished their performance followed by Seventeen at the MAMA awards. She giggled softly as her members poked fun at her pink cheeks watching Mingyu onstage from the TV in the break room.

Soon after they finished Super the thirteen membered group filed in the break room, mingling amongst the various groups, getting snacks and cooling down. After grabbing a bottle of water Mingyu made his way over greeting Twice along the way before wrapping his arms around Nayeon and snuggling into her.

“Ewww you’re so sweaty” She teased pretending to be grossed out when it was the quite the opposite, the sweat glistening off his caramel skin doing sinful things to her.

“Hehe hi baby,” He scrunched his nose as he kissed her cheek playfully.

They bantered back and forth amongst the low chatter in the room watching as the next group went up to perform. She wasn't quite sure when his side of the conversation had quieted down but when she looked to her side he was staring intently at the live broadcasting. She too aimed her attention towards the TV to see what had him so preocuppied.

"Ohhh Le Sserafim?" She nodded knowingly, " They're your label mates now right? They are so popular these days, I'm a big fan too haha my bias is Chaewon!" She danced a little in her seat as the point choreo of Antifragile came up in the performance, " Which one's your fav?"

She leaned her head on his chest, cheerful humming coming to a quaking halt when she felt the thundering pulse of his heart beat blaring against her eardrum.

"... Y\n" he murmured mindlessly, eyes never once leaving the Tv.

" Ohh um yeah!" she sputtered quickly trying to regain her cool, "She's a really popular member, her stage presence is really solid too for only being active for about 2 years i think its been... she's very beautiful, uh she's cool with Jihyo and Somi they hang out sometimes..."

Nayeon wanted to slap herself for the needless word vomit but she couldnt help it. She was pulling for straws, not expecting the reaction she's been trying to pull out of Mingyu to happen now of all times and apparently not because of her. Perhaps he was just tired from his performance still, maybe his was just a big fanboy - men will be men even Mingyu it seemed, perhaps she was reading all too much into it. She decided not to say anything more and just stayed cuddled up to him. He smoothly brought his left hand to her arm rubbing it gently pressing her into himself chuckling softly at her frazzled manner.

" You did well today babe, go ahead and rest for a bit" He whispered as he pressed a kiss to her hairline, " I'll be right here."

Maybe she did need a nap she thought to her self but even as she yawned sleepily she couldn't help but notice the thundering in his heart rested only when their performance finished.

But what really nailed it in the coffin was what Nayeon saw later that night at Somi’s after party, and moreso heard. It’s one thing to come to the conclusion that the man she loved didn’t love back in the same caliber as she did but atleast he chose to be with her right? Atleast he only looked at her and only cared about her. Right?? She could work with that at least even if it was one sided but there’s another level of pain when the reason his palms don’t get sweaty, the reason his eyes don’t glaze over in adoration, the reason he’s never said “i love you” back is because he’s so hopelessly inlove with another that he could hardly contain himself.

The venue was crowded with so many different faces, some known and unknown coming from various groups and companies. Owe it to Somi to know everyone. Nayeon and Mingyu were together as always, a few drinks in watching as Hoshi spoke animatedly making the group of friends laugh. It was a start to a great night after the adrenaline rush of their earlier performances.

“Oh wait! Y/n” Somi suddenly shot up running over to you as you jus entered the venue before dragging you into their circle , “Everyone say hi, Y/n say hi too!”

Nayeon watched as you smiled softly at Somi’s antics before bowing and greeting the people around you. You had a naturally alluring vibe to you that made it hard to not look away. She wasn’t a hater, you were stunning. And as she followed the harsh intake of air next to her she realized she wasn’t the only one who felt the same.

Nayeon gave it to Mingyu for trying but she wasn’t a fool. She had spent so long looking at him like he was the only person in the world that she quickly surmised he was only zoned in on one thing that night, that thing being you. You were a bit harder to read but woman to woman she could tell that you skillfully avoided eye contact in their general direction. And from the lovesick face he pathetically failed to conceal and longing gaze; this went above petty attraction.

Suddenly feeling lightheaded Nayeon excused herself to the bathroom, her mind bombarded with questions. Is he cheating one me? How do you know each other? Who is she to him? Do they have history? Is she… the reason he never looks at me like that?

She felt her eyes burn as she gazed in the bathroom mirror. She felt pathetic. It takes being in love to know what it looks like and Mingyu was looking at you like how she looked at him. Like you were his world. He was trying to hide it, desperately so, often cutting his eyes away from you if he caught himself staring for too long or boisterously jumping into the conversation to distract himself from you, giving Nayeon’s hand a squeeze every now and then but she saw through it all. And she loathed you for it.

By time she calmed herself down and made it back to the table her heart fell to her stomach seeing as the two people plaguing her thoughts were both suspiciously missing. Of course no one picked up on the disappearance act of the two but a quick check in with Somi directed her to the direction Mingyu excused himself too. With a quick thank you she followed swiftly, anxiousness pooling in her gut

Following down the hall the sounds of the party quieted until she heard a pair of new voices a little further down out on the balcony. The voices she had been looking for.

“You did amazing today, Angel”

That burning sensation returned to Nayeon’s eyes as she discreetly listened from inside. Angel. That was undeniably Mingyu’s voice.

“ Mingyu, i told you to stop calling me that” you corrected with a sigh, “ and thank you.”

“Fuck- I know i’m sorry, It’s still a bad habit,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly , “ I-I miss you, you know… I know we didn’t end on good terms but-“

“Is this what you followed me out here to say? If so i’m going back to the party-”

Nayeon heard your heels swiftly clack shocking her thinking she would’ve been found out but then they suddenly stopped. She dared to peek over to properly view you both.

Mingyu grasped your wrist firmly, brows furrowing in frustration, “ Why are you being so cold to me? Do you get a kick out of hurting me like this huh? Is that it? I know you- look at me y/n” he tugged you softly yet firmly to face him again, eyes gazing into yours desperately look for anything, “ i know you wanted to ended things with us but do you really have to treat me like a stranger, did you really forget everything, do you really feel nothing for me anymore? I still-“

“Sunbaenim,” you looked up at him icily yanking your arm from his grasp ,” This is hardly appropriate, you have a girlfriend. It’s been months, let it go. It would’ve never worked between us anyways, Nayeon is good to you don’t be reckless over a little fling”

“Fling?! H-how could you- a fling doesn’t last for over year, a fling doesn’t make love like we did, a fling doesn’t meet your family, a fling doesn’t talk about moving in and getting married in the future dammit y/n i was inlove with you!, “ his voice trembled, fists shaking by his side, “You just iced me out of no where, ignoring my messages, stopped answering my calls, and then suddenly breaking up over text?! You keep playing down our relationship as if all of it never happened. You never even gave me a proper reason, I’m supposed to hate you for casting me aside like nothing by and yet why can’t I huh? Even while you’re glaring at me like that with those big beautiful eyes all i wanna do is make them roll back.”

Nayeon couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw his knees hit the floor, You pulled at his shoulders with a curt “enough of this” but he shook you off in favor of furrowing his head into your stomach .

“ Youre so cruel Y/n, how can you show a man heaven then yank it away from his grasp like this. You’re going to drive me insane. You know I can’t live without you, you’re the one who ruined me like this and you can’t even take responsibility for it…”

Nayeon wasn’t able to see your conflicted expression as Mingyu grasped at your waist sniffling onto the fabric of your dress but she didn’t need to.

She moved to the exit as she couldn’t bare to hear anymore but she wasnt quick enough to escape the last words Mingyu whispered.

“Fuck-I…I love you so much, Angel”

Heartbreak doesn’t even begin to describe Nayeons current emotional state. She dashed home without a word, cried in the shower and then curled up on her bed in a pile of misery. Mingyu didn’t stop by to sleep over like normal that night and it drove her mad. All she got was a goodnight text saying he was gonna stay with wonwoo. But is that really where he was? Maybe he was with y/n, moaning angel [she mocked in her head] and giving her all of himself forgetting he had a whole girlfriend. So when ever he got that distant look in his eye was he thinking of her? When he moaned angel, was that what he’d moan in her ear? Was he wishing to be inside her instead? When he was backstage did his heart beat out of his chest just by the sight of her? The reason Nayeon feels like shit is all because of her.

It took her a while before she decided to respond to Mingyu. She ignored his texts and inquiries for about a week before she sent him the “we need to talk” message. She didn’t know what to expect or where to start but she was hoping that their previous friendship would be enough for him to not completely run over her feelings anymore than the whole situation had.

He came over the the next evening after his gym session sporting a grey sweatshirt and pants combo. She couldn’t tell if this was on purpose but she had to stay strong to find the answers she so desperately needed. He gave her a quick kiss to the cheek that still made her heart jump after everything that she’s heard before promptly sitting on the couch.

Nayeon sat down awkwardly across from him not sure where to start. “um do you want anything to drink? i think i have-“ she started looking anywhere but at him.

“Nayeon,” he called gently making her look up hesitantly, “ Ask me anything, I won’t lie to you.”

He looked her earnestly in the eyes and it took Nayeon a second to come to the conclusion that he knows that she knows. Before she could question how he answered for her.

“ Somi told me you were looking for me that night,” He started slowly, “ You suddenly going home, not answering your phone, and then saying we need to talk… i pretty much guessed what was up… so ask me anything and i’ll tell you everything, you deserve to know”

She felt her eyes well up in tears at his honest reply not being able to stop herself from the question she wanted to know the most.

“Did you sleep with her while we were together?!”

“ No, I hadn’t talked to or seen her for months before we got together. I don’t know how much you saw the night of the party but I didn’t sleep with her then either.”

“…Did you want to?”

“N-Nayeon-“

“ Please just a-answer the question”

“…yeah”

She felt the frog in her throat at that but kept the questions searing her heart coming.

“ How did you two meet?”

“ I heard her singing in the practice rooms at Hybe before her debut, but i first saw her physically shortly after her debut at Mnet”

“ H-how did your relationship start?”

“ I think i was drawn when i first heard her voice from way back then, when we officially met I-I wanted to get close to her and the more time we spent together the more harder it got to stay away”

“ We’ve been friends this whole time, how come i’ve never met her?”

“ She didn’t want anyone to know we were dating. So we never interacted in public only wonwoo really knew. Since we live together”

Nayeon tried to think back to around the time they were supposedly dating. She’d sometimes catch hints of hickies on his neck or him smiling at his phone but she just thought he was just fooling around and not committed to anyone. She remembered feeling severely envious though, because that was the happiest she had ever seen him. And if everything he says is true it matches the depressive episode he was in months before they got together, if that’s when she cut him off from what he said that night.

She wiped her tears feeling a bit more whole to look him in the eyes again, “ But why her? Don’t get me wrong she’s pretty and all but you’re not the type of guy who only cares about that. The way she talked to you at the party—she seems like a fucking bitch”

He actually laughed out loud at that, a soft look taking over his face, “Yeah i know, she’s hardheaded, mean, and rude but that’s just one aspect to her. She’s also creative, headstrong, caring, and sensitive… Nayeon I’m sorry,” he switched suddenly, “ I might’ve not physically cheated on you but i still disrespected this relationship and our friendship. I enjoyed our time together and i really wanted it to be you, I wanted to forget about Y/n and live a nice easy love with you b-but seeing her at the party reminded jus how far gone i am. One look and i’m back where I started” He lowered his head in his hands, “You don’t have to forgive me but please know nothing is wrong with you, you are amazing I just- I’m-“

“In love with Y/n right?,” Nayeon finished tears flowing freely at some point. She wish she could yell and scream and call him names but even now she felt his apology from the bottom of his heart. It was never her, it was never gonna truly be her.

She felt the couch next to her dip and the warmth of his embrace. She couldn’t help but fall into it, her cries tumbling into hiccups, mourning of her love lost. “S-So are we done? You’re breaking up with m-me? Are you going to her now?”

He patted her back softly, “ I don’t want to hurt you anymore, knowing i can’t give you what you want and deserve… and even though i love Y/n as i’m sure you heard she’s adamant on pushing me away. We haven’t even talked since that night… plus i’m pretty sure y/n still has my number blocked lol”

“I d-didn’t know you liked emotional unavailable girls Mingyu,” she tried to joke between her gasps, “i would’ve changed my tactics” she wailed into his sweatshirt.

She felt his chest rumble in suppressed laughter before whispered apologies into her hair. It hurt so bad but she could never hate Mingyu. You on the other hand is a different story but she knew albeit not anytime soon she’d eventually have to come to terms with this and hopefully one day her and Mingyu could get back to how they were before, as friends.

☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆

Mingyu left Nayeon apartment guiltily feeling lighter despite breaking his friends heart. In times like these he cursed you so much for causing all this chaos in his life and at the same time he imagines you in his embrace, whispering sweet everythings into your ear.

He threw his keys in his dish tray once reaching his apartment before grabbing a beer and joining wonwoo in the living room.

“…Well you don’t have any scratches on your face,” Wonwoo analyzed, “ So i’m guessing things went well i hope?”

Mingyu scoffed sarcastically while cracking open his can, “Hyung what the hell am i doing, something must be wrong with my head…” he pouts before taking a big gulp.

“Yeah they say love is one hell of a drug,” Wonwoo offers, “But honestly are you really okay with ending things with Nayeon, it’s safe and certain unlike Y/n”

Mingyu takes a deep breath before answering, “ As long as Y/n exists I don’t think i can truly be happy with another. I don’t know what she slipped into my food when i wasn’t looking but nothing compares. Nayeon is everything right on paper but why…. i jus can’t- It’s ugh,” he gives up and ops for his drink again.

Wonwoo ponders for a moment, “ You are a bit of a masochist,”

“Ya.”

“ So when are you gonna talk to Y/n? Makes no sense breaking up with Nayeon because of her if not to work things out right?”

“ But hyung, that’s what i tried to do at the party, literally begged on my knees and she still left me there,” he laid back in the couch as if he were in a therapy session, “ I jus don’t get it, we were doing so well. As long as we were together everything was gonna be alright, the power could be out and she’d find flashlights and build a pillow fort. She’d find the coolest art pieces and trinkets and gift them to me, she’d always be my second hand in the kitchen even if it’s jus stirring and taste testing. Everyday felt like a dream, there was never a dull time. We could literally have the time of our lives trapped in a cardboard box. We’d spend nights just drinking wine and talking about our hopes and aspirations and everything under the sun, i’d do anything to make her dreams come true and she had the nerve to say it was a fucking fling??”

Upon reminiscing he couldn’t help the tightness in his chest and on top of that the resurfacing of anger because how can all of that happen and you act as if it didn’t. No matter what you tried to paint it out as he knew it was real for both of you.

Wonwoo patted his shoulder reassuringly feeling him getting worked up again. “ Didnt everything change after she came back from visiting her family after the Le Sserafim mini tour? I remember didn’t all her members go visit her family too?”

“Yeah why?” Mingyu questioned not understanding what he was getting at.

“Try asking them, maybe they know something you don’t. I’m not judging but I always thought it was weird how she never talks about her family. Whenever you’d ask to meet them she’d change the subject. Maybe it’s got something to do with that,” Wonwoo was really wracking his brain overtime trying to find some sort of lead. He’d seen Mingyu and Y/n before all this mess and he was convinced they were soulmates then so maybe they just needed some guidance now.

Mingyu drunk in silence as he thought over Wonwoo’s words more. He remembered how scared you were when you first met his family despite his adamant affirmations that they already loved you. You were so jittery and out of your element telling him later that night you’ve never seen a family so loving. He considered his family pretty average though. He remembered the fear in your eyes when he asked to meet your family only for you to pull him in for a hot kiss purposefully rendering his brain off course. He didn’t think much of it at the time but now he’s starting to see Wonwoo’s train of thought

“I’ll try contacting Yunjin”

After asking around in a couple of friend groups he finally was linked to Yunjin’s Kakao. Despite being head over heels in love with a member in her group she had little inkling about the severity of his and Y/n’s relationship until the end that is. Normally Y/n would sneak out to his place which was why Wonwoo knew her pretty well, but her members only found out when Mingyu barged into their dorms demanding to talk to Y/n after her casual “let’s break up” text those many months ago. He had no idea how the explaining went after that but Yunjin didn’t seem too surprised at his, “Hey yunjin, this is Mingyu… do you think we could meet up and talk soon. I’m sure i don’t have to tell you to keep this between us.”

A couple hours later he received his reply.

“Sunbaenim! Ofc we should be back in Korea in a week. Cafe by hybe sound good?”

A week came sooner than one would think, his mind giddy because maybe he could finally get some progress in understanding why you left him. He waited patiently at the back of the cafe with a baseball cap tapping away at his phone. He opted to swipe through his secret gallery of pics he saved of you even after the break up, thumb running softly along the pixels of your cheek.

“Sunbaenim!”

Mingyu jumped at the sudden appearance of fiery hair as Yunjin sat down. He greeted her before calling the barista over to get her drink settled along with his.

“ How were the concerts in Paris?” He made small talk.

“ It was our first time going, it’s so beautiful there and God the food was amazing,” she spoke animatedly before squinting her eyes knowingly,” but i know that’s not what you messaged me for.”

He held his hand ups in defeat with a sheepish smile, “How is she?”

“ Honestly… Y/n-ah is normally the one who brings us all together and the glue to our group but she’s been so quiet lately which is so unlike her, “ Yunjin eyes glossed a bit, “I worry about her a lot because only few know how much she cares and how much she hurts. She never lets us in and that’s why i was so shocked that she was seeing someone but i was glad because she was so happy. Her smile really reached her eyes you know, even though at the time i didn’t know who it was and i only found out cause she left her phone in the living room and i saw the name “Nose Picker🩵” and you messaging you loved her and for her to get some rest.” She giggled softly at the memory.

Mingyu’s heart squeezed at the stupid nickname he asked her to change a million times. “ D-did she tell you anything after i stormed into your dorms, sorry about that by the way,”

Yunjin looked hesitant not sure how to phrase what wasn’t in her place to say. “Um- after you left she just got so quiet b-but that night i heard her crying and so i went over to her and held her. But she jus kept saying so many negative things about herself and repeating the things her mom-“ Yunjin clasped her mouth feeling wrong for exposing your problems like this without your consent. You explicitly told her to never talk about that night but Mingyu staring at her with desperation in his eyes was breaking her resolve.

“Yunjin what is it?! Please tell me, more than anyone i want her happiness Yunjin please,” he grasped her hands tears threatening to drop,” Please”

Orbs shaking Yunjin sighed in defeat before continuing in a meek voice ,” The other members didn’t really understand because her family speaks english but I understood…. I understood e-everything…”

Yunjin followed as you led the girls into your childhood home. That morning you were on edge but since the last touring city ended up in your home town everyone insisted on meeting your family and sleeping over that night. Yunjin was excited to see a part of you you don’t normally share in hopes of getting closer to you and bragging about you to your family.

Your family were relatively normal looking and kind enough to them as everyone gathered around the dinner table. The spread of food was vast for such short notice, not having to worry about diets since you all were on break after this was a nice bonus as well. Everyone fell into a lull of conversation but something felt strange to Yunjin. You were so quiet, just poking at your food aimlessly. To liven up your spirits she was about to compliment your parents home until your mother finally directed her attention towards you.

“What why aren’t you eating, i cooked all this food for you and your little friends the least you can do is eat it.” Your mom stated quite abrasively.

With out lifting your head or taking a moment to breathe your responded, “ I’m not hungry”

Your mom laughed condescendingly at that, “You? Not hungry, ahh come on you use to be so big when you were younger you’d eat up everything. You afraid to blow up like that again? Actually maybe you shouldn’t eat, you don’t want to look like that again right. Oh my i remember I used to be so embarrassed taking you anywhere with me. All your cousins were so small and here you were taking up so much space. It’s good you finally stopped eating so much, you’re so pretty now too! You really take after me now ya know-“

Yunjin watched in complete horror as your mother rambled on stabbing knife after knife into your esteem with no care in the world as you just sat there taking the public embarrassment. You always stood up for the girls against the strict dietary guidelines and always reassured them how beautiful they were and yet here you were, eyes listless as you absorbed everything your mother spewed like a sponge.

“-You know i was so worried about you, especially when you use to cut yourself in highschool. I mean who does that do you know how bad that made me look and you missed so many days of school doing Lord knows what. You almost got me in trouble it was so humiliating when your teacher had to visit our home, you know everyone in the neighborhood saw that. And then you randomly wanted to go to korea to become a performer, Haha that one gave me a good laugh for the longest time but hey who knew there was actually something you were good at, i’ve been spending your monthly checks at the new med spa that opened down town-“

Yunjin felt her own tears welling up in her eyes, she wish you’d say something, she wish she could say something but she was in such shock. She grew up in a loving family, albeit they had their problems but she’s never witnessed a catastrophe of a dinner like this. She glanced back at you and reached for your hand under the table but you didn’t react at all. Until the next batch of words your mother had for you.

“ And why didn’t you tell me you were dating! I was worried you’d end up alone you know, you never brought a boy home, i mean i know you were a bit chubby but atleast one boy had to have liked you,”

“…How did you know i’m dating someone?,” You finally spoke breath caught in your throat.

“It was about a week or so ago, i ran out of the money you usually send so i was calling for more which after all i’ve done for you raising and keeping a roof over your head i don’t know why you have me on such a small stipend but anyways a man picked up. His english was a little choppy but he introduced himself as your boyfriend ha! can you believe that. I was curious how he looked so i googled his name and I have to hand it to you, i don’t know what he sees in you but make sure you keep that one, he’s one hell of a catch. I bet you havent told him about your little stunt in highschool or how huge you used to be, makes sure he never finds out or else he’s not gonna want you anymore, okay honey, men like that like their women with no baggage and i want grand babies before i die, all the nurses at the hospital are always bragging and showing pictures and i have nothing to show” your mother finally finished

You were shaking. Yunjin was holding your hand so tightly. Chaewon picked up on the unpleasant vibe but knew better than to say anything. Dinner concluded, you all thanked your parents for dinner and cleaned the table before all the members packed up in your childhood bedroom for the night. When she was sure everyone was asleep Yunjin turned to you.

“Y/n-ah I’m so s-sorry,” she weeped into your side. But you didn’t say anything, you jus hummed before turning over and going to sleep.

The next morning you all packed up to head for the airport. Yunjin overheard your mom asking for more money before giving you a hug after you wired it. She told you she loved you but you didn’t reply.

“A few weeks a-after that, “Yunjin hiccuped,” is when you barged in the dorm. A-and that night Y/n-ah finally cried and she-“ Yunjin was full on bawling , “ She was saying s-so many bad things about herself a-and i didn’t know what to s-say. I’ve never seen h-her like that.

She buried her face in her hands recollecting that night. And Mingyu… he was furious. Furious for entertaining that witch on the phone, furious for not seeing sooner how far your insecurities went, his face red in anger but also guilt for being so blind. So much made sense about you. You would never fully finish your meals, you always wore such baggy and covering clothes when not on stage, you hated when he took pictures of you and you hated smiling critiquing how your cheeks spread, you always were one to listen to others venting but never partook in your own, you always talked about dreams of the future cryptically as if you’d never be around to reach them, when he tried to be affectionate with you in public you’d always slink away from him and last and not least you pushed him away in fear of revealing the bits you so desperately wanted to hide; afraid it’d affect his perception of you.

But you were so so wrong. He needed you to understand, he saw you, his angel. Maybe it wasn’t as clear in the past but he saw you now and it changed nothing. He loved you with all his being and God he really fucking needed to see you-

“-Where is she?” He demanded determinedly already packing his cup and phone getting ready to go.

“I-I don’t know,” Yunjin answered honestly,” When we aren’t on schedule she leaves her phone at the dorm and just l-leaves-“

“ What! Do you know how dangerous that is, why hasn’t anyone stopped her!” He could feel himself falling apart, he needed to see you very badly, he needed to make sure you were okay with his own eyes, and if you weren’t he needed to make you okay somehow.

“ She always leaves at the most random times, she normally gets back in the e-evening?” Yunjin wiped her red eyes for the umpteenth time.

He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to run around Seoul like a chicken with its head cut off but he had no clue where to look. He felt like he was going to hyperventilate at this rate, he felt like such an idiot, he should’ve fought harder if only he had known how deep the hurt went. He couldn’t help but curse out loud.

“W-Wait Sunbae,” Yunjin spoke up with a revelation, “I’m checking our group chat, I-I think she might’ve taken her Apple Watch, look”

Yunjin turned her phone around showing your supposed location. He looked at the map on her phone, the glowing dot was resting in a building in Myeongdong. He quickly took a screenshot of your location, thanking Yunjin before sprinting to the company car he brought with him that afternoon. He was pretty sure he spilled some of his drink and stepped on some toes on the way to the vehicle but he couldn’t be bothered to even look back.

☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆

To say you were surprised to receive an invitation from Nayeon of all people would be a complete understatement. You never gave her your number so it was probably received from Somi. But here you sat at a fancy restaurant awkwardly staring at each other in silence. You normally just wandered around till it got dark when there wasnt any schedules but you decided to bring your watch just in case your body goes missing. You are aware her and Mingyu broke up and you are pretty sure this invitation out wasn’t to begin a beautiful friendship with the way she was glaring at you.

“ So-“

“ I-“

You both tried talking at the same time. Cringing inwardly you bowed your head for her to take the lead.

“ You know i don’t like you right.”

Oof straight for the throat but you didn’t have much to say to that, cause you didn’t like you either.

“Yeah i figured as much,” you sipped your water, “ so why the invitation?”

“ I wanted to see for myself what’s got Mingyu so wound up,” She tilted her head scrutinizing you, “ So far i’m unimpressed.”

“ Listen if you just invited me here to take jabs at me-“

“ You’re pathetic.”

Okay that one made you roll your eyes. You gathered your purse ready to get up and leave until she continued.

“ You have an amazing man so completely enamored with your very being and yet you are stomping all over his heart. At first i thought you were just a bitch-“

You put your purse back down, uncomfortably shifting as she stared you right in your eyes.

“ I’ve been watching you ya know, you walk around like a pile of self loathing on a stick, it’s so hard to watch. I don’t know your story but I can assure you right now nothing will change how that man thinks of you. And as his friend you hurting him is a me issue now. That fool is so hard headed i’m pretty sure if i told him you murdered puppies he’d still love you” she scoffed, rolling her eyes as the waiter finally came with your appetizers.

You weren’t good at conversations like this. Well was this even a conversation moreso you were being aggressively spoken at. “Stalking is a crime you know,” you mumbled stabbing a fork into your salad.

“Is that really all you have to say? Don’t play with me, we are not friends. Do you even love Kim Mingyu?” she frankly asked with a chicken wing pointed straight at you.

“Loving him has nothing to do with-“

“ I didn’t want to have to do this but you are being so difficult,” with her clean hand she opened her phone pulling up a compromising picture of Mingyu asleep in bed with Nayeon snuggled to his side. It was clear what they finished doing before it was captured “Answer my question or i’ll keep swiping”

Your nose flared at the photo, jealousy swirled in your stomach even though you had no right. You pushed him away so you had no right to be envious but nevertheless you were. You remembered how that use to be you, losing track of what time you had to sneak back to the dorms because he was so warm and safe and so- Mingyu. Your eyes darkened as she swiped to the next photo, him sucking a hickey onto her inner thigh, looking up at her with those beautiful brown eyes. Your self esteem might’ve been in the gutter but you knew how to be shameless too.

“ Delete all of those pictures right now and I’ll answer,” you challenged staring her right back down.

She picked at some stuck chicken in her teeth with her pinky acrylic, “ Wah you’re so easy, fine fine i’m deleting them. Wasn’t that many anyways- he didn’t like me taking pics,” she mumbled the last part as she clacked away on her phone.

Once you were positive they were all gone your expression finally softened, lips parting, “I love him so much that i’m scared. I’m scared because i can take when others hurt and abandon me… but if Mingyu does… if he ever gets tired of me or casts me aside i really won’t be able to survive it. That’s the one thing i won’t be able to bounce back from. When i’m with him my heart is no longer my own and that terrifies me. Trust isn’t something that comes easy but i have no control over myself because of him. I’m used to everything blowing up in my face, always being the butt of the joke, nothing ever working out in my favor so why should i believe for once that the good that is Mingyu isn’t going to turn on me one day as well?”

“ Because it’s fucking Mingyu,” she stated matter of factly , “ Gods apology to man if you will.”

You huffed at that, finding it hard to disagree with that childish logic. After that you both jus ate in silence, probably both thinking of Mingyu to some compacity. By time the entré came out Nayeon was ready to talk again.

“ I knew he never loved me,” she sighed,” but even then he tried his hardest to. Gosh i wanna jus cry, the sex was so bomb too — i hate you so much” she pouted as she cut into her steak rather aggressively.

This time you actually laughed. A real one that touched you eyes. You held your stomach finding it hard to stop, lost in your mirth. In that moment Nayeon felt like she caught a glimpse of the Y/n he described a week ago.

You both payed for your separate meals, Nayeon left with a “I would offer you a ride but i still don’t like you” so you made your way down the street, no destination in mind, shaking your head softly at the fiasco that dinner was. You didn’t make it far before a pair of large arms wrapped around you from behind. You should’ve screamed for help if it was anyone else but you knew this embrace.

“Angel,” he whispered against your neck out of breath

“Mingyu what are you doing,”. You tugged on his arms to avail, “I was about to call the police on you, you can’t just grab people like that in- hey are you listening to me”

No he wasn’t in fact. To busy burrowing his head further in the crevice of your neck, humming softly as he pulled you flush against him. You tried to atleast to turn around in his hold but was met with a stubborn whine.

“ Mingyu, people are looking.. s-stop before someone recognizes us,” You try to shrink away from the onlookers.

He intakes your scent with a deep breathe before finding the willpower to release his limbs before dragging you to what seemed to be a parking lot. You don’t fuss much at that point letting him tug you along until you were seated and buckled safety in to his passenger seat of his car. You kept your eyes forward as he ran to his side and slid in himself. Before he moved to pull off you felt him staring shamelessly at the side of your face. Your own face starting to warm at the intensity of his gaze.

“ What is up with everyone today,” you rolled your eyes before turning in your seat to face him square on, “Care to explain to me how you knew exactly where I was? Are you stalking me too??”

His eyes were still darting around every inch of you with that silly expression on his face, “You look so nice today, did you go out to eat? Are you still hungry? What do you mean too, is someone bothering you? Also I know this nice spot by-“

You move to unbuckle your seatbelt but his hands beat you there, grabbing both your wrists in one hand. “Mingyu let me-“

“Gyu.”

“What?!” you huffed failing miserable against his hold , “ This is not the time to act cute, I’ll scream I swear I-“

This time he yanked you forward by your wrists and slot his lips against yours in a searing kiss. Instantly your body like muscle memory became liquid in his grasp no longer caring to escape him. With his free hand he held your chin between his thumb and pointer finger angling you side ways so he could eagerly push his tongue past your soft lips. He didn’t mean for things to happen in that order honestly. He wanted to make sure you were safe and okay but seeing you always scrambled his thoughts and now he’s sucking on your tongue in the parking lot getting high off your breathy moans. Lost in the nasty wet tongue kiss he subconsciously loosened the grip he had on your wrists in favor holding both sides of your face as he swirled his tongue around yours.

You cursed yourself in your head for clutching onto his tshirt pathetically as you let him defile your mouth. At the rate he was going you were gonna pass out from the lack of air and intimacy of it all. You dragged your fingertips up to the juncture of his jaw line and neck before giving a firm enough pinch. Understanding you immediately he pulled back just to give you a couple more passionate smooches, eyes low as you both watched the string of saliva slowly give way between you. It’s landed on your chin which he brazenly licked off before sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. Finally done with the impromptu makeout you both gazed at each other out of breathe, periodically looking back down at each others lips.

He caressed your cheeks with his thumb softly, something he’d been dreaming of doing again for months , “Hi” Those charming canines of his flashing at you.

You didn’t have it in you to play aloof with him in that moment, not after you jus swallowed an embarrassing amount of his spit. “Gyu how’d you find me?”

“Yunjin,” He answered quick leaning back in ready for round two, tongue already sticking out but you pushed him back by his forehead.

“ …Gyu you’ve been wanting to talk to me about the breakup since it happened right?,” you closed your eyes in defeat, some of Nayeons words urging to on, “I’m giving you the chance now, so are we gonna talk and i can’t guarantee if there will be later. I know you didn’t come all the way here just to make out. ”

“Shit fuck that’s-“ he rubbed the back of his neck in shame, “I’m sorry I just got so carried away, yes we need to talk please. Can i take you back to my place?”

You sighed but nodded turning your head to focus on the road. He quickly started up the car not wanting to ruin this chance but not before pressing a chaste kiss to the side of your forehead, hopefully you’d let that one slide just for him. You made no comment on it as he sped back to his place in silence.

Always the gentleman he kept your door on child lock so you wouldn’t get out without him opening the door for you once you reached. You couldn’t help the small smile at his childish mannerisms. Such a big baby. You allowed him to hold your hand as you both made your way to his place. Once inside you were hit with the nostalgia of his apartment, his heady scent was everywhere already making your heart race.

He locked the door behind you before getting you something to drink, “Wonwoo is out on a brand trip,” He offered once he’d heard you sit down on their couch.

You hmed at the information too busy looking all around the apartment you use to frequent. It brought back a lot of memories of the past from the chaotic cooking dates, snuggling on the living room floor staring up at the cheap star projector, to fucking like teenagers in your epic pillow fort till all the sheets collapsed around you both.

The sound of your cup of apple juice being placed down on the table took you out of your reverie as Mingyu sat down next to you. Ever the offender of having no sense of personal space, he situated him self directly against you despite the plentiful seats in the living area. You felt like you should’ve told him to move but you found yourself being honest for once; you didn’t want him to.

“So um,” he decided to break the tension, “C-can i hold your hand again while we talk?”

You relinquished your hand to him, both of you angling you bodies inwards to each other before you looked up at him waiting for him to ask his questions.

His heart compressed painfully at the sight of your big eyes but he forced himself to stay focused.

“ As i’m sure you know me and Nayeon broke up.” He waited for your acknowledgment before continuing, ” I won’t lie and say our meeting at the Somi’s party wasn’t the catalyst for alot of things but it made it clear especially despite trying to move on I physically can’t. I can’t move on from you and I don’t want to move on from you.” His thumb brushed your over knuckles, “When you broke up with me like that I wanted to be done with you, you hurt me Y/n… so so bad.”

Your eyes reflected the same glistened look as his as the guilt of carelessly casting Mingyu aside finally was catching up to you after all those months of dodging feelings. You bit your lip waiting for him to proceed.

“I just wanted to mean something to you, and when i finally was getting back to myself one look from you and back to begging on my knees like i was months ago.”

“G-gyu” you sniffled and went to cup his face in your palms. He probably didn’t even realize the single tear you were currently thumbing away at. “I- no amount of apologies will ever equate to how i treated you. But regardless I’m sorry for taking out my insecurities out on you. God knows you’ve been nothing but amazing and i still desperately tried to sabotage that all. I still think you deserve a better girl, don’t settle for me Gyu you deserve the world.”

He held onto your hands to keep your touch on him. “ I don’t care what you think i deserve, I want you. Even after everything I forgive you whether you want to be forgiven or not a-and Yunjin told me about seeing your parents-“

You sharply sucked in a breath before trying to yank your hands back to your lap but he held them firmly bringing them to his chest, “Don’t do that Y/n, don’t try to close up on me like that please. Not again, Don’t- shit angel don’t cry”

His heart broke at your vulnerable expression, lip quivering as you tried to lean away from but he wasn’t having it. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled your securely into his chest, caressing your spine while cooing into your crown.

You hiccuped uncontrollably into his chest, “ Sh-she promised she wouldn’t saying anything, she promised!”

“Please don’t blame Yunjin, I didn’t really give her choice, I just needed to know why you came back to me so closed off. Im sorry for picking up your mother’s call back then, I had no right to but Y/n don’t feel ashamed please. You are so strong, so beautiful, so worthy of everything despite what she says. My mom loves you ya know, you can share her if you’d like,” he peppered kisses across your face, “you’ll just have to marry me of course…”

You choked on a laugh between the ugly cries that wracked through you. Maybe it was the tears but your mind felt a bit lighter, “Gyu… I-I love you but i’m terrified. “ You admitted “after years of constantly being ridiculed and belittled as if im nothing i can’t help but believe it. I’m so embarrassed about having a mother like her and i’m ashamed with myself. But wh-whenever im with you i feel alive but she always finds a way to say the exact words to knock me all the way back down. For my own mother to think so lowly of me how am i s-supposed to stand proudly by your side. You are so blinding, so kind, so talented, so honest, so good; everything i’m not.”

“But to me you’re all those things and more. I’m only my best self when i’m with you, because of you. You really have no idea the power you hold not just on me but the people around you. Your mother doesn’t deserve you and she doesn’t define you. How someone can treat such a wonderful daughter like you like that still blows my mind. You deserve to be valued and praised just for existing simply because you are you. ”

By this point your foreheads were pressed together, your hiccups finally simmering down. He kissed your nose softly before wiping away your tears. “I know years of hurt can’t be done away in one night but can you promise me something Angel”

You sniffled cutely before looking up at him again , “Mmhm”

“Let me see the ugly, it’s okay if you cry, scream, yell but do it to me. Let me share your burdens, you don’t have to do it all alone. Please rely on me, it’s what i’m here for”

You wrapped your arms around him sighing into his chest. You felt so drained and lightheaded so tired but still you couldn’t deny the immense relief you felt off your heavy heart, “… You love me?” you whispered timidly.

“More than you’ll ever know,” He kissed your brow sweetly.

“Okay then… I’ll be in your care from now on” you unhurriedly pressed a kiss to his jaw before yawning,” I know there’s still so much more we have to talk about but can we talk more in the morning?”

He smiled fondly as you rubbed your eyes sleepily, nose still stuffy from your tears. He leaned down to press a proper kiss on your plush lips, “Of course my Angel,” You both gazed longing at each other a bit longer neither making the move to get up. He took the bait again and gave you a languid open mouthed kiss before whispering dreamily against your lips, “I love you.”