#[gintokis insides] is not a place we are allowed to enter

[epicdogymoment]

something comforting about how sorachi admits that he also doesnt know whats going on in gintokis head. me and you and everyone else

[gintokisimp]

Whatsername Chapter 2: Extraordinary Girl

More Angst and more Pain. This chapters theme is the song “Extraordinary Girl” by Green Day

Genre: Angst, Romance, Pining

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,568

She's an Extraordinary Girl In an ordinary world

The sun had already gone past the point where it was possible for it to shine it's rays into the city. The faint golden beams reflected on the metallic structures of the ceiling. It would have been a beautiful day, if it wasn't for the strange atmosphere and the deep, heavy clouds forming over Yoshiwara.

A womans delicate arms rested on the railing of a simple balcony in the middle of the shady town, right above a small shop and a busy street.

Beautiful, silky blonde hair was brushed behind her ears on one side and falling loosely over a noticeable big scar on the other half of her face. Her amethyst, dull eyes were fixated on something in the sky only she could see.

Suddenly, a rift that was the color of crimson formed in the dark clouds, shining the last light of the day down on her. The first raindrops hit her illuminated face, steadily growing into a heavy downpour drenching her white kimono decorated with an expensive flower patterns.

Despite the depressing weather, as if nothing mattered in a town of endless desire, an equally big flood of people roamed the busy streets of Yoshiwara.

The courtesan of the suns eyes flickered from the sky to the ground below over the horde of bodies, roaming over the busy streets beneath her. The colors of the vastly different individuals mixed together in her blurred sight, creating an almost homogenous mass of flesh and fabric.

Minutes went by without much change. The woman almost appeared lifeless to anyone daring to take a look up to the balcony.

By late noon, the sky had darkened up and turned the buildings of the town into lifeless gray tones. Only the buzzing electric lights faked a world full of wonders and salvation.

The skies split, a loud rumbling opened the gates of hell.

On days like these, she had weak moments. They invited her mind to spiral down the paths of sorrow.

Humans can have weak moments full of despair. It was ok. But still, it felt like she gave up everything that she had worked so hard on. She didn't want to feel like a woman desperately clinging to a man whom she couldn't reach.

The damsel in distress. The weak princess waiting for the prince to safe her.

That wasn't her.

And she can't seem to get away

The chains of Yoshiwara ceased to exist. They ceased with the death of Hosen, yet no one was really free.

She wasn't free.

She had other responsibilities that she couldn't escape from. Responsibilities she didn't want to escape from. But still, sometimes she felt like running away. Disappearing like he did.

Hinowa forced her to take a day off. Since he left, she had worked day after day. Tsukuyo had dressed well for the day. She wanted to go out, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the room. Her fear of someone catching her weakness kept her inside the house.

But everyone already knew how fragile she was.

She thought she had accepted that he would never love her back. She thought it was enough for her to know he was well.

And right now, she just wants him to be back home, wants him to be happy.

Without her.

She could live with that.

But knowing he was gone, she could not live with that.

A faint image of permed white hair in the crowd caught her attention. Without a second thought, the muscular women leapt over the railing, dashed through the mass, and made her way to the image she saw. Her heart was beating in her throat, tightening it to an uncomfortable degree.

But there was no one there..

The person she thought she had spotted was never there.

A hallucination.

He wouldn't come here.

Tsukuyo remained standing in the pouring rain. Lightning brightened the sky, but she didn't move an inch.

It has been two years. Get over him already.

Her eyes turned up to the silver clouds grazing the skies, mirroring the mess that was corrupting her heart. The heavens cried and so did she.

Heavy rain mixed with her tears, dripping down her porcelain skin.

No one could tell she was crying.

To the surrounding mankind, she was just a courtesan standing in the rain, probably waiting for a customer to take her away, take her to the promised paradise.

Would he still remember her if he ever came back?

He won't come back.

Her fingers touched her pinkie.

He lacks the courage in his mind

He dreamed of her every night.

Holding her Hand.

Holding her in his arms.

Sometimes she fed him Dangos with the warmest smile on her face.

The samurais body was completely drained of energy, yet it desired her deeply.

He dreamed of her hand touching his bare chest.

Her underneath him.

He wanted to hold her, hold her until he died.

Waking up was pure horror.

Dreaming was pure torture.

Sometimes he didn't sleep just to escape the feeling, staring at the dark sky, restraining himself from thinking at all.

Like a child left behind Like a pet left in the rain

Another sunset painted the sky in the most beautiful colors, drenching the giant rock beneath the fully shed tree in red shades. The crickets had stopped their singing, no wind was rustling through the trees, no sounds we carried over the dream like scenery.

It was silent.

Silent, like something went missing along the unstoppable movement of time.

The rock was empty.

No wood scratching over stone was heard, no silver hair was seen in the peaceful landscape.

Instead, slow steps carried a samurai through the streets of a small, lively town. Not paying attention to his surroundings, with no clear goal in mind, he stumbled through the clusters of people taking up the street. Nothing really caught his attention, but driven by hunger he subconsciously aimed in the direction of a small inn.

Unexpectedly, olive blonde hair in a familiar hairstyle passed him and he tensed up.

Tsukuyo.. Tsukuyo

The head he was focused on turned and revealed an old woman. Of course, it wasn't her. What was he thinking.

His limbs gave up and he landed on his back. Sulking in pain, he closed his eyes. The loud noises around him echoed in his head, but one voice was particularly obnoxious.

"Young man"

Gintoki opened his eyes and they met with and old wrinkled face. His throat was too hoarse to speak, he hadn't used it in months.

"What's wrong, are you okay?" His eyes only stared back at the man, uninterested in what he was saying.

"Everything okay?" The man asked again with a more worried tone.

Gintoki didn't reply.

"Get up young man, come with me, you look like you need some care." The man lightly shook his shoulder and Gintoki sighed before hesitantly getting up on his shaking feet. He was friendly and something made Gintoki believe, he was not allowed to say no to this old geezer. They entered the small Inn. It was packed with the towns residents, but the man led him through the masses, up a staircase into a hallway of private rooms.

"Go and take a shower and come downstairs when you're ready." The man said warmly, opening one of the doors.

"I don't have money" Gintoki replied.

"You don't need money. I can't let you meet your family like that"

"What family"

The man inspected him and replied after a long pause.

"I know they are waiting for you. You can't run away from them forever. You shouldn't meet them in this state."

"Why"

"In this town, we help each other and I'm sure you can do the same."

"..I hurt her" Gintoki whispered, ignoring what the man had said.

"You can drink and eat today if you promise me to meet her." And with that, he closed the door. Gintoki was left alone in the room. Still unsure about what was happening, he undressed and let the water stream run down his battered body. The water washed away his thoughts and he felt his body welcoming the change of sensations.

I don't deserve this.

There wasn't a lot of time spent in comforting silence. It came back faster than he wished.

Minutes later, he sat down at a table. No one dared to sit close to him. The old man brought him a full meal and Gintoki ate it voraciously.

After some time, a young woman sat down next to him, sheepishly looking at him, eyeing him with great interest. She would have been beautiful, if he had the eyes for that.

"Do you have a home?" The girl asked Gintoki. "Where do you live, I can take you home" She added suggestively.

Nowhere.

"You can sleep at my place" She whispered in his ear. "You're a handsome man, I can make you feel better" The woman placed down her hand on his, touching his ring finger.

Make you feel better.

Only one woman could do that, and she wasn't here.

Only one women was allowed to touch him like that.

Only this one women taking over his whole mind could make him feel better. Touching him in places that were eternally reserved for her. But she would never touch him.

She wasn't here.

She wasn't here by his side.

She will never be by his side.

The Samurai ripped his hand from under the woman's tight grip. His eyes glancing over to her, glowing with menace. She looked at him in fear, stumbling backwards before rushing out of his sight.

The Shinigami Tayuu is eternally mine. There was no place for any other woman.

Why did she reject him back then.

Why

If she just had said yes.

Or just... anything.

She's all alone again Wiping the tears from her eyes Some days she feels like dying She gets so sick of crying

All tears had already been shed. There really was nothing left that she could cry about.

Yet, she caught herself crying again.

Her cries had been noticed.

Yet, no one really heard her anymore.

She sees the mirror of herself An image she wants to sell To anyone willing to buy

No one needs a man to rely on. Care and live for yourself.

The champions of women, they couldn't be weak to men. She couldn't be weak for anyone, especially not for him. It was only leading a bad example, displaying a weakness they wanted to abolish. Be strong.

But was loving someone really a weakness?

He steals the image in her kiss From her heart's apocalypse From the one called Whatsername

What's worse than realizing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?

I don't mind being only yours.

Lies. You belong to no one. You could never belong to anyone.

Loud creaking of wooden floor tiles caught the courtesans' attention. The sound crept in her ears, finally braking her endless stream of thoughts.

Careful, limping steps made their way in the direction of her door.

Or were they hesitant?

She's all alone again Wiping the tears from her eyes

Somedays he feels like dying

The sweet, burning liquid wetted his parched throat. Every inch of his body, every single cell revolted against the intruding poison, making him feel alive and close to death at the same damn time. It was his first cup of sake, but it intoxicated him like a whole bottle.

"More" he demanded. The old man who's name he had never asked for looked at him with worry in his eyes. Gintoki ignored that.

"Who's gonna pay for that, country samurai?" A mischievous voice bickered from behind him.

"Who're you calling a country samurai, ehhh you wanna fight?" Gintoki blurted back. Without waiting for an answer, he leaped from his chair and dashed in the direction of the voice. His fist made contact with a stubbly face and he smiled satisfied. A whole group of intimidating looking men stood up and gathered around Gintoki.

It was over in mere seconds.

The men were scattered over the floor, Gintokis hands covered in their blood.

It wasn't the alcohol that made him act like this.

He had disappointed the people that tried to help him. Again.

Suddenly, the room shifted. Everything reeled around him and his whole body tingled.

I need fresh air.

He stormed outside and stopped, leaning on a broken lantern.

Gintoki gasped sharply for air and his sight darkened.

Breathtaking sunrise loomed over a huddled silhouette, outlining the man holding a dead body in his arms. The morning sun reflected in the lifeless amethyst eyes.

Blood.

Blood everywhere.

Blood on the soft fabric of her Kimono.

Blood tinting her blonde hair red.

Blood on the tanto he held. The tanto that stuck out of her throat.

Its your fault.

Gintoki blinked and the vision was replaced by a different one.

The swirling mess in his brain turned into a hospital hallway filled with fog. Clean. Too clean.

Aggressive smells desperately tried to over stench the smell of death.

"She's going soon. Do you want to... ?" Asked a bodyless voice. It led him through a plain looking door. Big bouquets of red roses were placed around a hospital bed, obstructing the view on the patient. Floating closer, his eyes caught short white hair framing a thin face. The scar on her face was unmistakably. Her face had sunken in, but she wasn't old. It was something different.

"Gintoki,..'s that you? You're back.." Her white clouded eyes couldn't focus on his face.

"Tsukuyo, there's one thing I never told you." His hoarse voice echoes through the foggy room.

His hand reached out for her face. Black markings covered them, contrasting heavily with the pale skin. Gintoki touched her cold face and her lips formed words he couldn't hear. He leaned closer to understand them.

But he never needed to hear them. He knew them and he himself couldn't say them.

He cried.

Their lips met

and Tsukuyo cried her last tear.

Before he grasped what had happened, the scenery changed quickly.

A sunny day, a cup of sake in his hand, wooden railing under his finger, the smell of tobacco in his nose, a balcony in a familiar underground district.

He turned his head and saw her smile. Her beautiful smile.

Whether it's spring or winter, if I can be next to you like this once in a while and blowing poison gas in your face, that's enough to make me happy.

The way she looked at you. She loved you and it was killing her. And you were never able to reciprocate it.

Drenched in sweat, struggling for air, his left hand clawing a pole, stars dancing over his vision, his eyes focused on his strained limb.

The long gone strand of silky, olive blonde hair on his ring finger blazed his flesh.

It burned his skin crisp like an insect lost on a summer heated street.

It easily set his arm on fire like the small, unimportant dry twigs in a fire pit, spreading to his heart, causing an unbearable pain with every muscle contraction.

She had tied it on his ring finger herself. She deliberately chose to tie it there. Carefully placing the loops, lovingly knotting it.

A quick glance and he knew it.

She meant it.

He thought about all those things time and time again and still denied it.

Nothing else belonged there. No one was allowed to touch him there. Only her hair.

The promise they made to each other.

Don't die

The promise he made to her.

Yubikiri Genman

Gintoki tied his own strand of cursed white hair on her pinkie, knowingly, making the lovers promise. To her. Only her. Only her.

うそついたら uso tsuitara (if you say a lie)

I'll never leave you.

針千本飲ます hari senbon nomasu (I'll let you swallow a thousand needles)

I'm eternally yours.

指切った。 yubi kitta. (and) cut (my) finger.

She tied it on his ring finger... his ring finger. His ring finger.

And I broke the promise.

His soul died when he left Edo.

I broke the promise.

I left her.

You don't love her. You're alone. You just don't want to be alone. Stay away from her. She just makes you feel better about your miserable life, you don't love her.

Because you don't destroy people you love.

Gintokis body revolted. Leaned onto the lantern, he threw up. It felt to him like throwing up his long-lost dreams, throwing up his hope and throwing up his reasons to keep going. He had left all of those things in Edo anyways.

His shaking hands reached out, grasping for support. But there was no one to help.

No one to hold onto.

No one to aid him.

Even if she was there to carry him, his blood covered hand were in no right to reach out for her tender fingers. Reaching out for someone's hand is coming close to reaching out for their soul. Tsukuyos soul was so clean and pure, touching her would only corrupt it and doom her endlessly.

What happens if you constantly hurt someone?

They love you less. After a while they start to forget that they loved you at all.

I hope she's happy.

Happy without me.

I hope she didn't suffer.

You know she suffered and it's your fault.

It's all your fault.

Your fault.

His legs gave in and his back collided with the hard soil.

Somedays it's not worth trying

Crashing to the ground, his only line of sight that was left, was the deep night sky.

And there she was again.

The moon.

Above him, shining on him, taunting him, scaring him, mourning with him.

His ears caught the sounds of a small squad of men, probably the same ones he picked a fight with earlier that gruesome evening.

"He's totally wasted, easy target for us" He heard them mumble. The first face obstructed his fixation on the moon. A primal wrath began to rush through his veins, he hadn't sensed this instinct for a long time, wondering how his body still remembered this sensation.

Don't obstruct my sight.

Flooded with pure fury, the Shiroyasha watched them take their next move.

And they scrambled in fear.

Once again, the heavenly body brushed his silver hair, bathing him in silver light again, illuminating the tears rolling down his face.

Crimson eyes stared directly at the moon, battling for dominance with an inanimate object.

It was soothing. It was reassuring. It was like a silent pact.

He wasn't afraid of the moon anymore and what was to come.

It's worth trying.

The broken samurai dragged himself to his feet, in his new-found purpose of collecting the parts of his soul and body he had believed as lost. They were never lost, he just left them with someone. Someone who was so important to him, he couldn't form it into words.

Gintoki slowly stumbled his way back to this rotten town.

She had his heart.

Reality could only keep him away from her for so long.

Somedays it is worth trying.

Now that they both are finding

Tsukuyo.. I'm coming..wait for me

She gets so sick of crying

He's coming back, I believe in him. I want to tell him the things he missed, when he comes back.

The footsteps in front of her door stopped.

Hinowa.. please..

.. I don't want to talk.

She's an Extraordinary Girl

[pasteleren]

a world of color

He first died by the hands of his father. His second time was his mother.

Stabbed by his father, choked by his mother, he died.

And then he woke up.

Scared and disgusted, his parents caged him inside an empty straw house until a priest came to set him on fire. It was his fifth time dying. 

Nameless and abandoned by his own parents, the boy wondered what was wrong with him. Was it his silver hair? Or was it his red eyes? He sat motionless in the straw house for who knows how. He died two times of starvation in the straw hut until the door opened. He was filled with hope and the light returned to his eyes. His parents were-- weren’t back. It was a man.

And that man set a fire.

He; the demon was four years old. 

His sixth time was when he wandered into a battlefield. The seventh time was the same. The eighth time was no different. By then, he could use the sword well and he was known as the corpse-eating-demon.

“I came here to meet the corpse-eating demon… but you’re too cute to be one.”

For the first time, the ‘demon’ became Gintoki and he stopped dying.

For the first time, the monochrome world he lived in was filled with color.

The demon was four years old. Gintoki was five.

The man who picked him up was Yoshida Shouyou and he had the kindest smile. Light hair and brilliant eyes, Gintoki strived to be like him. Gintoki… Gintoki wanted to be a human like him. For the first time, he hated his unusual coloring. He didn’t want red eyes or silver hair. He wanted--

“So, Gintoki. Stop imitating me and become your own samurai.”

Gintoki thought the paradise he lived in would continue on forever. He thought the fates would finally allow him to live the life he wanted for so long. No, he thought that he would finally be able to live as a normal person. 

A normal person grows. They age, they live, they die.

Gintoki isn’t a normal person, but he wanted to be one. 

-

Gintoki was attacked when Shouyou was looking for a suitable place to open a temple school. Large burly men appeared in front of him with malicious smiles and Gintoki wanted to do nothing but to ask for the hands of the demon. However, he promised Shouyou that he would fight as a human to protect his soul.

“From here on, wield the sword not to strike down enemies, but to strike down your own weak self. Wield it not to protect yourself, but to protect your soul."

So Gintoki died once again in the desolate streets.

That day, Shouyou saw Gintoki. He saw the fatal wounds knit themselves back together. He saw that he was the same as him… and he wanted to protect him.

Shouyou lived his earlier days with never ending torture and isolation. Gintoki wouldn’t. Gintoki would live his days as a normal child.

-

“Gintoki.”

Gintoki turned from his seat, his sword nestled comfortably on his shoulder. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with his yukata opened. It was apparent that the fatal scars never healed. There was a stab wound on his heart, there were light, mostly healed burn scars, and there were several scars near his chest. The latest one was on his abdomen.

“I’m like you, you know,” Shouyou said. “I can’t die.”

The younger boy’s eyes widened at the proclamation.

“The agonizing feeling I had back then… I don’t want you to experience that,” Shouyou whispered. “I want you to live a beautiful life until the end,” he gathered the silver-haired boy into his arms and let him weep.

That day, Gintoki weeped.

That day, Shouyou felt a heavy feeling release him. It was replaced with determination.

The demon was four. Gintoki was eight.

-

“You should try to preserve the life you live as long as possible,” said Shouyou. “Don’t fight with disregard for your life.”

Gintoki looked up at his teacher, his master, his… father.

Shouyou continued, “Fight to strike down your weak self. Not your enemies, not your friends. Wield it to protect your soul--your life you have right now.”

Sometimes, Gintoki and Shouyou would continue to spar. Other times, they would retreat to make themselves food. Shouyou would cook--Gintoki would help. 

Shouyou never complained when Gintoki would approach him to sleep next to him.

The demon was four. Gintoki was ten.

-

More time passed and Gintoki eventually met two boys. Sleeping in a tree, he woke up to the loud sound of talking. Snotty and arrogant, Gintoki immediately knew that he would dislike the speaker. Gintoki thought to stay in the tree, but before he knew it, he had thrown the sword down at the ground.

Those actions changed the rest of his time with Shouyou.

At first, it was the short-haired boy. Starting as a dojo-challenger, Gintoki didn’t spare much thought. The boy kept returning, though. Coming back even with the injuries he obtained from the previous day. Somehow, this meeting eventually made him and the long-haired-boy join the school.

The demon was four, and Gintoki was happy. 

-

He died in the fire. Again.

People came to take Shouyou away, burning the school down in the process. Gintoki had fought them so hard, but a human had no chance. Instead, he was stabbed and thrown into the fire. Moments later, Gintoki stumbled out of the burning school, unscathed, his eyes burning crimson. He stepped forwards, prepared to fight when--

“Gintoki.”

The people who took Shouyou away glanced at each other, silently communicating.

“Promise me,” said Shouyou. “Even when I’m gone, you’ll protect everyone for me.”

As Shouyou disappeared into the distance, Gintoki was once again thrown into the fire, but this time, the people were watching him as he remained unscathed. Even when the flames licked his whole body, his clothes were the only thing that burned.

The demon appeared for a second. It was now thirteen. Gintoki was also thirteen.

The people eventually left him and his classmates replaced them. Their eyes widened at the burning building--and even more at the state of Gintoki’s yukata.

“What happened?” asked Katsura.

“Where’s Sensei?” Takasugi added. Both were urgent questions.

Gintoki coughed before saying, “Gone. He was… arrested.”

The students were outraged at the prospect of their teacher being taken away. How could he? Their teacher was the most righteous person out there.

“Gintoki,” whispered Katsura. He touched the ripped areas of his yukata, his hands directly on the area where he was stabbed. “There’s blood…”

“I’m not hurt,” Gintoki immediately said. “I’m not,” he stood up. “But we need to get Shouyou back. Who knows how long until he might get executed.”

-

“Shouyou… it’s okay, right? To turn into a demon to protect what’s precious to you.

“Shouyou… I miss you.

“Shouyou… I’m sorry.”

And.

“Shouyou… I’m scared.”

Takasugi and Katsura returned one day, talking about entering the war. 

“Sensei’s in the hands of the Bakufu,” Takasugi explained. “And there’s apparently a negotiation going on. If we join--”

“But at what cost?” Interrupted Gintoki. 

Gintoki didn’t want it to happen. He saw war. He died in a battle. He didn’t want them to see that, but…

“Everyone agreed to join, but you don’t have to.”

“Promise me. Even when I’m gone, you’ll protect everyone for me.”

In the first battle, Gintoki didn’t turn into a demon. He watched as his classmates emptied the contents of their stomach afterwards… and he watched as one of them looked at him.

“You’re used to it,” it wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

Gintoki didn’t say anything to the boy.

When Gintoki allowed the demon to wake once more, their battles were more wins than losses. The demon sang when it got a name. Shiroyasha, it gleefully said.

Shiroyasha and Gintoki were the same people and at the same time, they were two different people.

Gintoki was strong, but Shiroyasha was stronger.

Gintoki had dull red eyes. Shiroyasha had bright red eyes.

One was kind, the other was ruthless.

One had color, the other was monochrome.

-

Three eventually became four. 

When Sakamoto laughed, the whole world brightened. Katsura’s was more calm, Takasugi was lighthearted, Gintoki was a human.

However, all things eventually end. The Bakufu betrayed them and they lost their supplies. Even with Sakamoto’s money, they were still behind on soldiers. More dying than recruited, they were obviously losing.

“We can ambush the ships that arrive--”

“How many enemies?”

“... The ship’s filled with weapons, food, and the Amanto.”

“The Bakufu?”

“They’re also going to be on the ship.”

There was a sigh. 

“Katsura, we’re desperate, but not that desperate. We can’t afford to lose anymore troops.”

“But--”

“The ambush would take many soldiers and most would die. If the plan fails… we lost our precious soldiers in a moment of desperation.”

“Still--”

“My mind will not be changed. Goodnight.”

Sakamoto wouldn’t be here for long, Gintoki knew. The man wanted to enjoy the stars. He wanted to be free from the war. That’s why…

“I’ll go. I’ll ambush alone.”

There was a scoff. “You’re the Shiroyasha. We can’t afford to lose you--”

“I’m not asking for permission,” Gintoki interrupted. “I’m telling you. That’s all.”

“That’s absurd! If we lose you, the war would--”

“And we would lose at this point too. Take your pick.”

He relented, giving Gintoki a simple flag. Fireworks would be too dangerous and there were no other communication tools.

“Raise this when you’re finished. If there’s more than one, use it on the mothership.”

Gintoki left when the sun began to rise. He was fifteen and Shiroyasha was also fifteen.

-

“Where’s Gintoki?” said Katsura. He looked around.

“He’s probably in the bathroom--”

“I checked,” Katsura interrupted. “He wasn’t there--he’s not here.”

Takasugi and Sakamoto looked up from whatever they were doing. This wasn’t a joke.

-

Gintoki arrived at the ship when the sun began to set, basking everything in gold. Bakufu guards and the Amanto surrounds the ship and Gintoki silently curses his bad luck.

A large ship--larger than he expected with not only one or two, but five smaller ships. It was obvious that the ships were going to be used to crush all the ‘rebels’ as fast as possible. His eyes never left the canons on the ship even as night fell and the stars were lit. 

He moved.

Shiroyasha’s movements were swift and wasted no time. With darkness obscuring their view, no one noticed that everyone surrounding the ship was killed and the demon easily got on to the largest ship. Despite facing difficulties, he danced in the blood. Twisting and turning, it wasn’t long before the people on the other ship began to notice what was happening. 

“Don’t fight with disregard for your life.”

…

“I’m sorry.”

He let himself be stabbed to destroy the enemies as fast as possible. Restricting the movements of the enemies, he made them unable to leave their ship to get to the mothership. 

Midnight arrived and he was on his third ship. 

He died five times.

On his fourth ship, he died another two times. 

On his fifth ship, he died two more times.

On the last ship, there was no cargo. Only soldiers. Gintoki died once and then blew the whole ship up.

This was the scene the soldiers saw.

-

The soldiers, including the commander, Katsura, Takasugi, and Sakamoto spotted the flag on the mothership but they stopped when they heard yelling.

The farthest ship--the battle seemed to be ongoing. Clashes were going on and the commander told everyone to back away when--

The ship exploded.

“Don’t tell me--”

“Don’t tell me that… that silver perm was on that ship,” Takasugi snapped. 

Sakamoto nervously laughed. “Maybe Kintoki exploded it on purpose?”

“The other ships were taken care of, apparently. Go to the largest one start the ship,” ordered the commander.

“Is the Shiroyasha dead?” one of them whispered.

Katsura glared at the soldier. He walked past them to catch up to Takasugi and Sakamoto. The three were silent and they avoided looking at the burning ship.

“We should get out of here as fast as possible,” said Sakamoto. “They’ll notice the fire soon.”

-

They were preparing to leave when there was a large sound from the burning ship. A large crash-- and then--

“Oi, it’s rude to leave people behind, you know.”

“Gintoki, you’re alive--”

Gintoki (was it really him?), in complete red. His clothes were red, his face was smeared with blood, his hair had clotted blood, his eyes were bright red. Most of all, he was burning.

“Gintoki! Get the fire out before you burn!”

The tide turner for the war was also… when the three realized that Gintoki may have not been normal as they thought.

-

Gintoki didn’t hesitate when killing his teacher. 

He would be alive.

He would be okay.

It’ll be fine.

But it didn’t stop the tears.

Still, he knew he wouldn’t be able to meet the man’s eyes. He had broken the promise. He became a demon. 

That’s why he left the war as soon as it ended. He wandered, doing nothing in particular until he met a man attempting to sell his daughter in exchange for his freedom.

He dies five more times in jail. Starvation and beaten to death.

“He’s a demon,” the guards said. “We haven’t fed him in months.”

They were right.

-

Gintoki is a corpse when an old lady visits her husband’s grave. He wakes up, though, and makes a promise.

This time, he won’t break it.

Shiroyasha is sixteen. Gintoki is seventeen.

-

The next time Gintoki dies, it’s less than a decade later. He dies under the hands of a disgusting alien. He was consumed and digested by it. He manages to slash his way out with a blunt wooden sword.

Gintoki’s arm was destroyed at some point when he was smashed into the wall and Kagura’s dad saw it. His eyes widened in shock as his arm slowly mended together as if there was never an injury to begin with.

Apparently, Kagura’s mother was like him.

It makes it three now.

Shiroyasha is sixteen. Gintoki is twenty-five.

-

He dies under the hands of Benizakura and in the arms of Shinpachi. The boy panics as he carries the larger limp body to his house. Gintoki only wakes up when he’s finally patched up.

He almost dies when fighting with Benizakura. The bandages are a pain to keep on when there aren’t any injuries under them. He thinks of taking it off and then--

“He’s a demon.”

“He’s no son of mine.”

And he stops.

“You never hesitated in killing him,” Katsura stated.

Gintoki looked away. “I never killed him and he’s not dead.”

Katsura sighed.

-

Gintoki--doesn’t exactly die, but he used sandpaper to wipe his dump off. That’s still a secret, though. He’d rather not talk about that incident.

-

As much as he does it, Gintoki doesn’t like dying under the flames, much less an explosion. That takes quite a while to regenerate. Still, he does it anyway, burning when he crashes the helicopter. 

He hears cracks as his limbs realign themselves and his body mending himself back together.

Shiroyasha is still sixteen. Gintoki is twenty-five.

-

Umibozu once spoke about a son. He had two children. A son and a daughter. Gintoki only met his daughter until he entered Yoshiwara.

He never let Shiroyasha go on a rampage, no matter how many times he lost. 

Instead, he allowed himself to die. Two, three times, Gintoki continued to die. He hoped that his deaths weren’t noticed by anyone--especially by Kagura or Shinpachi. At least Housen was defeated. The man died when the roofs of Yoshiwara finally opened and Gintoki doesn’t notice the shrewd stare from Kagura’s younger brother.

For some reason, the next time he visits, he dies once again after insisting that he’s here for work. Stabbed and slashed open, he dies once, and then again after drowning. Embarrassing, isn’t it? He’s sure that the ninja heard the cracks, though. The sound of bones realigning and healing.

-

Gintoki wonders just how many times he has to die. He’s pretty sure that Shinpachi and Kagura suspect something at this point and he’s too tired to care. Is this how Shouyou felt when he continued to die and return to the land of the living?

He dies when he attacks Jirocho, harshly holding the chains of Shiroyasha back as he fights. He loses, of course--and he dies.

At least Otose was alright. 

He hoped his blood was enough for her to heal.

He was right.

He wakes up later than Otose, waking under the worrying eyes of his newfound family. He doesn’t know if they knew he was dead… but they don’t ask. 

He fought with Jirocho that day and he was surprised that he didn’t die. Injured, yes, but not dead.

-

Gintoki dies under poison three times. 

When he entered the castle, never had he thought that he would have to fight with the group that arrested Shouyou. The head of the group--Oboro seems to recognize him as he seems unsurprised when the poison needles that pierce him have no effects from the outside. On the inside, he died three times.

“A monster that howls for the heavens,” said Oboro. “How sad that you will eventually outlive everyone here.”

He feels Tsukuyo’s questioning stare and ignores it and fights Oboro instead, using his body that doesn’t die as a way to fight against him.

“Don’t you want revenge?”

Gintoki doesn’t fight the man in front of him. He fights the man in his mind; his alter persona. The chains are rusted and it wouldn’t take long for him to appear--but he’s trying. He’s trying to keep Shiroyasha from appearing once again.

-

Gintoki comes close to dying when he fights Takasugi.

“I knew you weren’t human,” whispered Takasugi. “Ever since that explosion.”

The cut on Gintoki’s wrist immediately healed, showing no marks of ever being there. However, Takasugi continued to attack and Gintoki let him, barely fighting back. 

“Why!” Takasugi yelled. “Why don’t you fight back? Why didn’t you fight back when Sensei was killed? Why… 

“Why did you kill him?”

Gintoki kicked Takasugi off of him, stumbling to stand upright. 

“I knew what he held dear,” Gintoki whispered. “I knew too well… of the precious things.”

Gintoki doesn’t say that Shouyou was like him. He says nothing, but Takasugi knew everything. The man asked questions when he already knew the answer, only asking to confirm his discovery. He knew Takasugi understood that Shouyou held every student dear to him and…

“I haven’t been expelled yet, have I?”

He was never expelled. While in any normal situation, Takasugi would’ve been expelled, along with Gintoki, but Shouka Sonjuku wasn’t just a school to learn. A school to be expelled from. 

It was a family where no one was disowned.

-

Gintoki died when he was blasted by the crows. 

Yet, he survived.

Fighting head-to-head with the man who wore his teacher’s face, he knew; this man was Yoshida Shouyou… or his alter persona to be exact. Both disregarded their own lives to fight each other as their swords clashed.

“Of course,” said Utsuro. “A demon can only be killed by another demon,” he blocked a slice, kicking Gintoki into the wall.

Everything was still frozen when Gintoki appeared from the rubble, unscathed. 

“No,” said Gintoki. “A demon can only be killed by a human.”

Utsuro’s empty red eyes stared at the younger male.

“A human that turned into a demon, perhaps,” Utsuro agreed. “But not a demon born as a demon.”

In a clean slice, Gintoki was beheaded.

“Gin-chan!”

“Gin-san!”

“Danna!”

“Yorozuya!”

Cries for the silver haired man rang out as large amounts of blood flew from the beheaded body. In a heapless ‘thump’, Gintoki’s dead body hit the ground.

And the chains snapped.

“You haven’t told anyone, have you?” said Utsuro, pointing his sword at the headless body. “Your past, your condition, anything. Why don’t you get up?”

He easily blocked the kick from the vermillion-haired girl, throwing her off to the side. 

Utsuro continued. “I could kill everyone here if you don’t wake up,” he glanced at Kagura. “How about we start with her?”

And this time, the fight truly began.

“Go,” said Gintoki in between clashes. “I’ll hold him off. Go.”

“Gin-chan--”

“Kagura, I’ll be fine… I’m always fine.”

Reluctantly, everyone began to head to the ship, leaving Gintoki with Utsuro. No, Shiroyasha with Utsuro. With Shiroyasha, their skills were almost equal, if not a little weaker than Utsuro--but it was still stronger than when he fought as Gintoki.

Utsuro suddenly stopped mid-slice to look up at the sky. He smiled.

“Go home,” said Utsuro. He tenderly grabbed his chin. “My son.”

Shiroyasha was twenty-five. Gintoki was also twenty-five.

-

“Gintoki,” said Katsura. “When you told me that he wasn’t dead, I didn’t believe you.”

Gintoki scoffed. “Who would believe me? I killed him in front of you.”

Katsura smiled. “That’s different. You told me that you didn’t kill him.”

“...”

“That day of the explosion during the war, you know how scary it was?” asked Katsura. He paused, then continued, “An explosion right in front of our eyes and you were nowhere to be found on any of the other ships.”

“And then I appeared,” Gintoki added.

Katsura nodded. “And you appeared right on the deck. You were in red head-to-toe and your eyes--Gintoki, we always used to joke that your eyes resembled a dead man. Back then, it looked more like a--”

“A demon, right?” 

“Your burning clothes didn’t help anything, either. You were in red, burning right in front of our eyes, and you smiled like nothing was wrong…” Katsura hesitated. “How many times have you died?”

Gintoki sharply inhaled. “I stopped counting at twenty-nine,” he replied.

-

There was no confrontation back then, but the question remained. Who was Sakata Gintoki and how is he alive? A man who was beheaded in front of them who came back. It could’ve been a dream… but the scar on his neck said anything but. A thin, but noticeable scar on his neck that looked like death chained him.

He began to cover his neck with a bandage afterward.

-

Gintoki died numerous times on the planet of Rakuyou. 

The fight with Kamui began well. They were simply… fighting, but then Kamui went berserk. He crushed Gintoki’s skull, snapped his neck, destroyed his whole body, but he never died. Regenerated slower, perhaps, but he never died.

Umibozu watched with one eye as Kamui continued to kill Gintoki, failing to do so every time. Gintoki kept on getting up, creating more openings for Kamui to kill him. At this point, the possibility of Gintoki actually dying seems higher. Gintoki’s using up much of his Altana and he sees that he’s running out of it. His regenerations were getting slower and slower and he feared that it might stop.

Kamui stopped, however, falling unconscious on his sister’s lap.

That’s how the battle ended.

[dietarysalad]

Street War – Chapter 12

The rain continued to fall heavily, and Kagura’s umbrella did nothing as a barrier for the two teenagers. Despite his desire to just not move for the rest of eternity, Sougo knew that thought was unreasonable. Silently, he let go of Kagura’s hand and stood up. Kagura did the same, feeling a little colder now that Sougo’s warmth had left. It’s hard to believe that the Sadist even has any warmth.

But, before she could leave for home, Kagura shivered and sneeze loudly. She was definitely feeling a little under the weather, and there was no-one to blame but herself. Gintoki was definitely going to kill her. At the sound of her rather guttural sneeze, Sougo stopped and stared down at her shivering form. Before she had the chance to walk away, he pulled on the back of her soaked parka.

“My place is closer, wash and dry up there before you get sick.” Kagura, in a state of shock, looked up carefully at Sougo. She blinked thrice at him. “What in the world are you doing?” she questioned, her eyebrows raised. In reply, Sougo turned from her, his eyes conflicted. “If I let you go home like this and you get sick, the Yorozuya boss will kill me. He’ll probably send the entire Yorozuya over to decimate this handsome boy.” I don’t believe him for a second. Nonetheless, she followed after him, her umbrella raised again despite it having little to no use. After all, she was not going to turn down a warm shower when she was freezing her butt off.

Sougo, on the other hand, was panicking under his cool mask. Someone smack me. What am I doing? If Hijikata’s home, he is definitely going to be mad. He sighed. There was not much point in worrying, now. It was too late for that. He looked up at the stormy sky and glared. “I’ll deal with it when the time comes,” he mumbled quietly, hoping that the rain would cover up his voice and Kagura would not hear him.

During the short trek back to his apartment, Sougo watched out of the corner of his eye as Kagura’s eyes dimmed the harder the rain came down on them. He briefly wondered if she hated the rain, but then figured that she probably would not have come out in the rain like this if that were the case. It must be something else that’s not any of my business, like that time when we were fighting the Kada gang.

Sougo continued walking for a bit more when his thoughts wandered back to Kagura. Although, this also wasn’t any of her business… Shaking his head, his eyes glinting with a foreign determination, Sougo turned his head to face the girl walking beside him. “Oi,” he stated. “Hm?” murmured Kagura, her eyes gazing dully at him. “I never got my answer,” Sougo prodded. “Why did you stay today?”

Kagura could not give him a response right away. She hesitated. Images flickered across her eyes – her mother, her father, the rain, Sougo’s sister. They overlapped and spiralled throughout her mind and, as the rain pelted down on her back, Kagura’s vision began to blur with tears. Sougo watched silently as Kagura’s inner turmoil stopped her in place. He also stood still for a moment, then continued walking. They were close to his apartment and it would probably better to quickly get out of the rain than stay where they were.

Sougo had walked two steps when he felt a tug on the back of his dress shirt. He did not look back, but stopped. “When I saw you… standing in front of your sister’s grave… it really hurt,” Kagura mumbled sadly, her voice almost swallowed by the sound of the rain on the pavement. Sougo blinked. “The pain of losing someone you care about, it hurts so much. But, to see you stand there without crying, that must have hurt so much more. Keeping everything bottled up.” Sougo turned and walked back to Kagura. “’The pain of losing someone you care about’…?” he asked, tilting his head as he looked down at her trembling form, water dripping from his bangs. Kagura scrunched her face up and looked to her feet, signalling the end of their conversation.

Sighing, Sougo turned back and continued walking towards his apartment. It was getting late and he was sure that the Yorozuya boss would throw a fit if his precious daughter didn’t come home on time.

When they arrived at Sougo’s apartment, he quickly told Kagura to stay out of sight. Swiftly, Sougo unlocked the door to his apartment and opened it, scanning the shoes in the small foyer area. Sighing in relief at the absence of Hijikata’s shoes, Sougo led Kagura inside and quickly grabbed two towels for the both of them. He told Kagura that it would be best for her to take a shower first and go home, and Kagura decided not to argue. She entered the bathroom while Sougo fished around for a plastic bag to put Kagura’s wet clothes in as well as some of his old clothes for her to wear temporarily.

After he was successful in his search, Sougo knocked on the bathroom door, announcing to her that a change of clothes was right outside the door before seating himself on the ground outside the bathroom. He was still soaking wet, himself, and did not want to move around the house too much. Fifteen minutes later, he heard the shower turn off and he promptly turned his back to the door to allow Kagura some privacy as she grabbed the change of clothes. When Kagura opened the door, her breathing hitched a little at the sight of Sougo. Quickly, she grabbed his old shirt and pants and shut the door again.

Sighing, Sougo relaxed and allowed himself another small respite as the sound of thunder made its way to his ears. His eyes narrowed slightly. It’s really coming down, outside. He reached for his phone and searched online for a weather report, flicking through websites until he landed on a live cast of a news report. Coincidentally, the news report was at its weather section. “Ketsuno Ana reporting! At the moment, Tokyo’s weather isn’t looking too good. This torrential rain is looking to continue throughout the night, and I don’t recommend that anyone go out tonight. So, I’m sorry – if you had a date night planned, it’ll be best to cancel it! How about you reschedule for tomorrow night? The weather’s looking a lot better for tomorrow. That’s all from me.” At the conclusion of Ketsuno Ana’s weather report, the news channel switched to a long spiel about the state of Tokyo’s economy and Sougo – who had immediately grown bored – locked his phone and placed it on the floor beside him.

Though he appeared calm on the outside, Sougo’s mind was racing. Do I send China back in this rain…? Argh, I can hardly do that. But if I don’t, the Yorozuya boss might end up calling a war to get back his ‘kidnapped’ daughter. Damn. Hijikata will have my head, too, for sheltering a Yorozuya. “Tu ru ru ru ru. Tu ru ru ru ru. Tu ru ru.” Sougo’s train of thought was interrupted, a strange song cutting through the drone of the rain. Feeling a prickling down his spine, he turned to find the source of the ominous sounding song. Eventually, his eyes landed on Kagura’s phone which she had left on his kitchen table.

It had lit up and was ringing with the Yonimo Kimyona Monogatari theme song, sung a capella courtesy of Kagura. Sougo’s left eye twitched at the sound. Silently, he walked over to the kitchen table, his towel wrapped around him to prevent too much water from leaking onto the floor, and checked the caller ID. ‘Gin-chan’? Ah, the Yorozuya boss. Hesitantly, he picked up the phone to hand it to Kagura. However, in trying to not get the phone wet, his fingers accidentally hit the accept call button. Shit.

“Kagura! Where on Earth are you?! It’s late and – have you seen the weather?! Why aren’t you home, it’s like a freaking hurricane out there!” Sougo recoiled from the phone, Gintoki’s booming voice was way louder than he had ever heard it before. Slowly, he tried to explain himself. “Ah, Yorozuya boss. Um, China…“ he paused. “No, I mean, Kagura’s drying off right now. She was caught in the rain and was soaked through to the bone, so I let her borrow the shower. But then the rain got really bad, so I’m not sure how she’s going to… get… home?” Sougo trailed off, a little worried about the lack of response that he was receiving from the other end.

Finally, after an excruciatingly long pause, Sougo heard a low rumble. “Who is this?” Gintoki bellowed into the phone, his voice dangerously low. Sougo gulped. “Okita Sougo,” he nervously replied. “Shinsengumi?!” Gintoki sounded surprised. “What are you doing to my daughter?!” “Nothing, it was purely circumstantial. If you’d like, I can send her home right now.” “There is no way in hell I’m letting her go out in the rain right now.” Gintoki took a deep breath, then continued. “Let her stay the night. You live with the mayo-freak, right? Put him on.” “Uh, he doesn’t know that she’s here. He must have gone out and got caught in the rain. I don’t think he’ll be home tonight…” And I’d rather he not come home tonight to see this mess. “Fine, if he finds out about this then I’ll speak with him myself. For now, just let Kagura stay. Tell her not to bother you or your sister too much.”

Sougo was quiet. “Sis passed yesterday,” he said sadly, unclear as to why he was telling the boss of his rival gang something so personal. Gintoki was silent for a few seconds. “Was her funeral this morning?” he gruffly spoke into the phone. “That’s right – due to her circumstances, we had been preparing for it for quite some time.” “I think I get why Kagura is with you, now. You have my condolences – she was a kind soul.” “You knew her?” Sougo asked, a hint of surprise in his voice. “In passing. She seemed about the only person who could make your boss happy, and that’s saying something.” “I see.” “I’ll leave Kagura with you, then.” There was another pause. “Take care of her, she isn’t too good with rain.”

Gintoki hung up the phone, though Sougo was sure he could hear a dog yipping with worry in the background before Gintoki could cut the call.

When Kagura walked out of the bathroom, she was met by Sougo’s hard pectoral muscles smacking her in the face. Blushing, she turned her head up and glared at him. “Oi, move-!” she began to yell at him. “Your boss told you to stay,” Sougo spoke curtly. “He doesn’t want you out in the rain.” With that, he pushed past her and closed the bathroom door, locking it. Kagura, now clean and dry, narrowed her eyes at the closed bathroom door moved to the kitchen to grab her phone. After checking the call log, sure enough, she had received a call from Gintoki.

Sighing, Kagura got to work on trying to connect to Sougo’s Wi-Fi. She made herself comfortable on the couch and laid down, her fingers tapping away at her phone. It wasn’t too hard to find the Wi-Fi – the name “MayonnaiseIsLove” gave everything away. The problem was the password. Wracking her brain, something she usually didn’t do, Kagura tried as many passwords as she could think of. “Mayonnaise” was rejected. “Sadism” and all its variants were also wrong. “Shinsengumi” was a no-go as well. She even tried “password”, hoping that they had tried to reverse psychology people by using such an obvious password. But that, too, was incorrect. She was beginning to get a little fed up when she thought back to the entirety of the Shinsengumi, crowded around Okita Mitsuba’s grave. Kagura’s fingers slowly typed out her name into the password slot and clicked enter. Connected. Kagura gave a small smile. You were very well-loved.

After a short while, Sougo left the bathroom and found Kagura curled up on the couch. His old shirt may have been too small for him, but it was still much too big for Kagura and she had needed to roll the sleeves up quite a lot. His pants hung loosely against her legs and he could see that she had needed to adjust the waist of the sweatpants to be four times smaller so that the pants would stay up. He quickly turned before any strange thoughts could enter his head. “I’ll let you stay,” Sougo called, heading off toward his bedroom. “But you need to make your own dinner. You hear?” Kagura gave him a lazy look. “Alright.”

Ten minutes and three minor explosions in the kitchen later, Sougo had chased Kagura out of the kitchen and agreed to make dinner for both of them. “It’s either that or the state of my well-being, I guess,” he grumbled, sighing heavily. Kagura pouted and immediately began ordering him about. “Oi, Sadist!” she yelled childishly. “I want ochazuke! And sukonbu!” “Ah? I’m making fried rice,” Sougo shot back. “Haven’t you heard that beggars can’t be choosers?” “Hmph, I’m no beggar. I’m a guest. Haven’t you heard that you should be kind to your guests?” “All I see is a piggy.”

Kagura fumed. Taking advantage of her athleticism, Kagura jumped from behind Sougo and landed on his shoulders, crossing her legs around his neck with her hands over his eyes. “Ochazuke! Sukonbu!” she shouted once again, her pitch raised to an even higher tone. Sougo, surprised at the action, did not have enough time to react and his balance was put off. He began falling backwards and Kagura, sensing imminent doom, abandoned ship. “Whoops,” she said, landing to the side as Sougo landed on the ground in the kitchen. “Well, let’s make a compromise. Just ochazuke, and no sukonbu, okay? I’ll be in the dining room!” Sougo could only groan, flopping back onto the ground, not wanting to move.

Patting her engorged belly, Kagura gave a sigh of content. “Man, for a sadist you sure are a good cook,” she announced with glee. “It was tea on rice,” Sougo said, his temple throbbing in irritation. “Ochazuke.” “Which is tea on rice.” “Which is good. Though the extra toppings on top were pretty good, too.” Knowing that he would not be able to get through to Kagura, Sougo leaned back in his chair and watched as Kagura flicked through her phone. “For a girl, you sure don’t look worried at all that you’ll be spending the night alone with a single, very good-looking male specimen,” he spoke with no hint of real concern in his voice, his half-lidded eyes staring at her with contempt. “Where? I don’t see one,” mocked Kagura, her eyes scanning the room to add to her insult. “Ah, my bad. You’re not a girl. You’re just Miss Piggy.” “Hmph!” Kagura growled at him, standing up from her seat and moving towards the living room.

Sougo sighed and left the table to do the dishes. When he got to the kitchen, he heard the sound of the rain intensify. Quietly, he thought to himself that they should probably go to bed soon as it was getting rather late. The rain was going to let up tomorrow and Hijikata would come home. It was probably better for him to not know about Kagura’s visit to their domicile. The earlier they could wake up, the sooner she could leave.

Finishing up the dishes, Sougo left the kitchen to tell Kagura to get an early night in when he saw that the couch in the living room was empty. He quickly scanned the room to find Kagura seated by the window, her eyes staring out into the distance. Sougo walked up to her quietly so as to not disturb her and followed her gaze. There was nothing discernibly interesting about the scenery. He turned back to Kagura and found her fidgeting, her eyebrows knit together and her mind obviously very far off.

Sougo thought back to what the Yorozuya boss had mentioned to him, about Kagura’s distaste for rain. But why? He couldn’t believe that Kagura hated the rain arbitrarily – that was no reason for her to act like this. Silently, he sat next to her. As he knelt down beside her, he could feel her shift at their close proximity. Was that an uncomfortable shift? Or an I’m-making-room-for-you-please-sit shift? After waiting a few moments, he began speaking to test the waters.

“Sis’… was a good person.” Kagura’s body tensed. “I’m sure you know, since you’ve met her,” Sougo said. “You know how much everyone in the Shinsengumi loved her, especially us, seeing as you managed to get into our Wi-Fi. I thought of her as a mother. I didn’t have one, growing up. My parents both died when I was very young – too young to be sad at their deaths. That’s why, sis’ doted on me. She took care of me, she’s the reason why I’m alive today.” Sougo paused to look at Kagura. “I’m not going to thank you for what you did today,” he continued, turning his head from Kagura for a quick moment. “But… I’m sure my sister would want to thank you. Thinking properly, I’m sure my sister would not want me to bottle my emotions up inside. That’s why, for my sister, I wanted to thank you.”

Kagura looked up at Sougo, a little surprised to see sincerity in his eyes. His face was calm and cold, as it usually was. But his eyes, still a little red from having cried for so long, held in them a gratitude that burnt at Kagura’s gaze. Gratitude, and something else that Kagura was not sure of. Her heart pounded as Sougo spoke again. “I’m not saying I’ll comfort you, but I do know how to pay back my debts.” Turning her gaze from Sougo, Kagura stared back out the window and paused before whispering her next words. “I miss them.” “Hm?” “Mami… Papi…,” Kagura wheezed out their names. “On days like this, I miss them.” Sougo quietly turned from her, his eyes resting on the rain outside. “I don’t like… death. My mami and papi were good people, but death still took them away. Days like this only remind me of the rainy nights when they left this world.”

Sougo closed his eyes. “So, my sister…” he started. “She’s beautiful. A beautiful, kind woman. My mother, too, was a beautiful, kind woman. And yet, they both fell ill. And, all too suddenly, they both passed. It’s so… unfair.” A pause – then, Sougo continued. “And that night, with the Kada gang…” “I was scared,” she answered before Sougo had the time to ask the question she knew would come. He opened his eyes. “Scared?” “My papi, one night, when we were sleeping… a robber broke into our house. He was armed… with a knife.” Sougo remembered the knife that the Kada gang member was wielding that night and he understood. “Papi tried to protect me and covered me with his body. And then, there was so much blood. And…!”

A brush of fabric against her cheek caused Kagura to stop. She looked up at Sougo, who was using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away at Kagura’s tears. Sometime during her story, Kagura had begun to cry. “Ah? Oh, sorry.” Sougo turned towards the window. “No. It’s fine.” Kagura silently thanked him for turning as she began to cry. The events of the last couple of days, especially concerning Okita Mitsuba, had brought up the memories of her parents’ death which she had always been trying to keep out of mind. She sobbed, the images of her mother’s life fading from her face and the blood covering her father’s back all too much for her to handle.

After a period of time, Kagura felt a Sougo’s hand gently press her head against his shoulder. She continued to cry. “What happened to not comforting me?” she managed to choke out. But Sougo was silent. Kagura’s sobs began to lessen, the scent of Sougo’s cologne and the feel of his palm on her head relaxing her. The strain of crying for so long eventually tired her out and she fell asleep against him, her cheeks streaked with tears.

Silently, Sougo picked her up and laid her on his bed. His hand reached out to undo her hair, and he smiled sadly as she called out in her sleep. “Mami… Papi…” Letting his hand linger for a little too long, Sougo left his room and moved to sleep in Hijikata’s room. He never heard Kagura whisper his name, coupled with a small “thank you”.

Author’s Note

Yeah, we’re about half-way through, now! If you’ve stuck with me for this long, thanks so much! Also, yeah – this chapter is a teensy bit longer than usual. It’s actually three chapters all put together – I thought they’d flow better this way.