#{ I’m on mobile 70% of the time >:[ }

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

me doing data entry when a man lists his beneficiary as “live-in girlfriend”: mm-hmm. ‘girlfriend.’ enter.

when a man lists his beneficiary as “domestic partner”: mm-hmm. ‘partner.’ enter.

when a man lists his beneficiary as “long-term significant other”: mm-hm. ‘S.O.’ enter.

[leondxs]

so rude of tumblr to not allow copy and pasting on mobile now

[scientia-rex]

A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.

If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.

If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.

If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.

If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.

You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.

You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.

But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.

Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.

[parasold]

oh yeah btw it has also been over a year since I last pulled a shiny fighter i am starting to suspect they do not exist

[fortune-maiden]

More things to love about Vestaria Saga II

The thief character is absurdly broken:

- great growths

- great availability

- Personal Weapon #1 is one of if not the only ranged swords in the game AND grants Critical Reprisal

- Personal Weapon #2 is a physical weapon that out damages and out crits anything else I’ve seen in this game, including the mages. In a game where nothing has Res (I saw 45 damage and 75 crit rate)

- By the time you get PW2 you can also have an item that prevents weapon durability depletion.

- Personal Accessory grants 3 Def & 15 Res. In a game where nothing has Res.

- has Canto

In conclusion: Drake is probably the most ridiculous FE character out there and this includes Laguz Royals, Fates Royals, and all of the 3H nonsense

[iznsfw]

One Hop Ahead Of You

ARTMS' Jeon Heejin + woo!ah!'s Nana (Kwon Nayeon) x Male Reader Smut

18,039 words

Categories | bunny girls FTW, stepcest (kinda), blowjob, threesome, daddy kink, cunnilingus, angry sex, spanking, breeding

Bunny kpop idols are the best. There's Eunbi, Tsuki, then Heejin and Nana... Thanks for commissioning me this piece; sorry for the late post! Enjoy all the synonyms I could use for "but" :D

Phone on, headphones plugged, music loud. That’s your story for road trips such as these, and you’ve zero plans about rewriting the plot. 

The scenery of beautiful mountains and blooming trees can’t break your focus on your mobile device. Your parents can’t either, as hard as they try; they’ve told you once or twice during the whole trip to look up from the screen for once. No, actually, scratch that: they’ve berated you about it at least every five minutes, and you’re starting to grow sick of pretending you can’t hear them. Your nonchalant continued stares on your phone don’t exactly convince them you can’t hear a thing.

Yeah, this is what happens when you give your toddler an iPad. The boomers might be right for this one. You can’t live without staring down at a bright screen, clicking at a bright screen, watching a bright screen. Eh, well, so what? Technology is a necessity in these modern days, and it just so happens that you need this kind of distraction on the road trip. Your mother and father think otherwise, but that’s because they live like it’s still the 70s or something. You don’t know. That’s how parents are.

Mobile data serves you well anyway. Your combat skills do not. You’ve been trying to kill a character on this app for a while, and it stuns you how strong her damage is. You click the sickle attack button more times than you can count and choose a special damage in between three taps, but you still end up dead. You’re seeking vengeance because the player talked shit about you on the main chat, and it doesn’t look like you’re going to show them up. You've got two deaths to go before you're seen as a pathetic little shit who tries too hard, and five kills to cement yourself as someone who isn't.

God, you’ve been playing this game for years—how are you still not good?

“Jay,” you could hear your mother call out from the edge of your earphones. She’s driving, her ringed hands firmly on the wheel. She meets your subtle gaze through the rearview mirror. “Jay.”

Groan. That’s your job as a son: to moan, groan, and drone on about everything and anything. You’re exceptionally skilled in this profession. “What now, mom?” you ask.

She gives you a sarcastic but playful little grin. “Oh, so you can hear me.”

Alright, you’ll let her have that one. But still: “Only because you’ve been nagging me for the whole trip.”

“Now now, don’t talk to your mother like that,” your father chides. He’s a kind-looking dude; he’s got triangle-shaped glasses and stubbles of a dead beard on his chin. “It’s true, but rude. Very rude, not a good look.”

Your mother clicks her tongue. She gives your father a millisecond glare before returning to driving. “Hey.”

“Honey, you know I love you, but your mouth—”

“Leave it at that,” she warns, voice dangerously tight.

Your dad doesn’t heed her warning. “—can be a nuisance.”

“That’s it. I’m pulling over. And you’re driving.”

He raises his hands. “Okay, okay,” he says passively, “I’m sorry.”

They harrumph at each other for a while, then kiss and make up, and you laugh a little. Subtly, of course. Everyone knows that part of going through teenage years (well, you’re a little past being a teen when you’re nearly twenty years old, but your mind is still the same as when you were sixteen) is denying with all your heart that your parents make you happy. You’re just going with the flow, as usual. 

It especially doesn’t help that you’re already an adult according to the Korean age system. Adulthood brings a kind of defiant independence in you, which you don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not. It has its moments, you guess.

“Oh, look at that,” says your mother, nudging your father, “Jay’s laughing!”

“I’m not!” you reply, biting your cheek so the smile doesn’t grow. Must. Not. Show. Them.

Your father peeks at you from behind the headrest and grins mischievously. “See? We still got it, don’t we?” 

The car swerves, barely making you match your fist bump with him. For this, you allow a slight smile—as much as you like to hide it like a career-ruining secret, you love your parents. They’re like two peas in a pod. Your father’s a rambunctious joke-loving guy your playful mother falls in love with everyday, resulting in, well, having you. 

Plus, because of that, you haven’t felt the need to regret being born or despising your parents, unlike other people your age. Their love for each other inspires you, and although every moment with them is guaranteed to have you be a third wheel again, you don’t mind. You love seeing them happy.

“Now that you’re back to earth,” your mother says, “can you please appreciate the surroundings? It’s too beautiful to go ignored.”

“That’s right. They won’t surround you when we fly back home.”

“Dad,” you groan, rolling your eyes. But doing a little observing is the least you could do. You can go AFK on this match for once. You’ve still got more mobile data to last a few days, so worrying isn't needed.

Look up. Blink once. Twice. It’s like a whole new world. Humble homes peek from between forests in the lower sides of the mountains. The sun is shining brightly, casting a yellow light on the trees that decorate the sides of the swerving roads. And the sky… has it always been that blue? The wispy clouds are just the cherry on top.

This place is so different from the urban city where your apartment resides. There’s no smoke, no cut trees, no rising buildings. It’s nature in its most pure state. 

There’s no traffic either, but—

“Mom, look out!” you yell, but you’re just a little too late. Just a little, and it would count, but for this one it doesn’t.

You can’t do anything about it then. The large truck that ventures on the wrong side of the road has a mission. Whether intentional or not, it can’t turn back. It collides heavily into the windshield, and you’re wrapped in dizziness and despair as your old car launches backward, rolling in the air a few times before roughly settling on the very curved edge of the road. 

Then it slides downward. You’re stuck in a spiral blurred with green and wood. What you remember is the feeling of being tortured and tossed through trees, and the truck following suit. It chases you long after its mission is complete.

Another thing you recall from the accident, as you’re lying down on the rough grass with blood on the side of your head, are two rabbits that stare curiously at you.

They seem to be sisters.

-

Voices, male and female, scruff and saccharine. They fill your ears like music but you can’t open your eyes to see to whom they belong. They speak of confusing topics and jumbled words. Can’t get a grip of their meaning. All the while your soul is yearning to rise from sleeping when it feels like you’re dying and the force inside you is struggling in defying a black fate. 

Your body, however, is blank of any pain. How strange. Strange enough that it’s a strong alarm for you to finally open your eyes. They’ve been glued together for a while, so when your vision greets you, you surprise even yourself. There’s a person in a white lab coat, and a white blanket mantles you. Is this heaven? Isn’t heaven’s signature color white?

First things first: how the fuck did they let you into heaven?

“Ah, so you’re finally awake.” A man with a rounded cap smiles at you. “How’re you doing, bud?”

Blink. So… this isn’t heaven? Do they wear caps in heaven? You don’t think so. Whoever invented denim caps deserves a nice little throne next to Lucifer. “Um. Alright, I guess?”

What should you even say when you’re trying to piece together who he was? You know you’ve seen him before when you were younger, but you’re not sure exactly when. All you’re aware of is that he looks too familiar. Kind of like deja vu. The beard and wrinkly skin tell you of a tale old as time.

“Hello, I’m doctor Kim,” says the woman in the lab coat as she approaches you. She extends a hand to you and you shake it politely. “You experienced a car crash in the morning near the terraces. Luckily, a man saw the tragedy and dialed 911.”

“Tragedy?” you wonder out loud. You’re still alive, so why would it be called that?

Doctor Kim lowers her head. “Your parents died immediately from the impact of the crash, sir. I’m sorry.”

Grief comes strangely to you, even when you’ve heard the news. You’d say you’re mourning, because you are, in a way—from that moment, you miss your parents dearly and wish that time travel existed so you’d prevent the accident from happening. But you aren’t… crying. You don’t burst into tears on the spot. There’s not even wetness in your eyes to help. Moreover, you haven’t made a small prayer for easier things to happen. It’s like the stages of grief avoid you at all costs and don’t even bother to orient you about their loss.

Maybe you’re just in denial. You’ve been staring at a blank spot on the hospital wall for what seems like ages, and you’ve only been conscious for minutes. Something’s changed within.

Wonder who’d be your parent now that both of yours are gone. You’re an orphan. You don’t even know how to drive back home or go back to the convenience store where you make your money. All your belongings for the road trip that was supposed to go beautifully are gone in the accident. 

Bite your lip thoughtfully. “Was it quick?” you ask quietly.

The doctor knows what you mean. Whether she’s lying or not is the question. “Yes.”

That comforts you a bit. What eats your insides from guilt, though, is that you never bothered to enjoy the road trip with them. You were always stuck to your damn phone. You didn’t talk much with them during their final moments, and it would haunt you forever. It doesn’t show on your face, though—it’s completely empty, devoid of any expression or pain.

“You really don’t recognize me, bud?” the man laughs, like he actually couldn’t believe it. 

Blink. Then it hits you. “Chan hyung…?” you ask. Hope you got it right because you’re steepering on sureness now.

“Bullseye.” So you did. He sits down on the edge of the hospital bed and cups your hand. “I’m a friend of your parents. They told me to look after you in case anything happens. They really loved you, y’know? Still do.”

You look down meekly and nod. Yeah, he’s right. They did. The other part’s true, too; if they had souls and were secretly watching the whole ordeal going on, they’d still love you. That’s how unconditionally they did it.

“I’m on the emergency contacts list, FYI.” He hands you his phone. “They even had a will and all. I hate that we got to meet again like this. Could have been in better circumstances. But that’s life, you know. Plus, it was quick enough to be painless.”

Your hand, linked to the dextrose, hardens in pain as it wraps around the device, but you go on. There on the screen, see that your parents did in fact keep him on the emergency contacts. He’s telling the truth. Now you understand why he looks so familiar.

Look up from the screen, (like you should have in the car when your mother and father tried to make conversation with you.) “I—I used to play baseball with you,” you say in childlike wonder. 

Chan laughs. “So I did. I’ll be happy to look after you. Probably even be your father, if you’d like.”

Your heart rises. “You’d really do that?”

“Of course! Your parents were good people, and I’d be glad to have you in my care. According to them, you’re a pretty good kid. Hope that’s true.”

“No promises.”

He laughs. He’s still got the same not-too-serious sense of humor like he did years ago. “What do you say, kid?”

He’s being a good guy, a good friend to your parents even after they passed, and you appreciate it. But being his son this quick after so much time seems like… betraying them. You know that’s not how it works, and your parents would have loved for you to gel quickly with him, but you’re just not ready. Something’s pulling you back.

What could it be?

“I…” you say, fidgeting. You don't know the right words to put it. “C-can I think about it first?”

The look on his face drops, but he smiles anyway. He must be a really good friend to be this understanding. “Of course,” he replies, retracting his hand from yours, “shouldn’t have put you on the spot. Just tell me yes or no when you’re ready. Deal?”

-

Three days is how long it takes for you to recover. To be fair, you already were—your limbs are working, and that’s enough for you. The doctors, however, insist on a lengthier stay and you kind of want to start shit in the living room and tell them how they were money-greedy exploitative little shits, but you’re not in the mood to cause a ruckus. Maybe some other time, when you eventually break all your bones and wheel out of the hospital cursing them for the bill. But yeah, some other time would work. Of course.

“I took the liberty of packing your stuff up for you,” says Chan, bringing over a luggage bag. It’s full to the edge of the zipper with clothes and other essentials. 

You wonder how he went to your home and back here to the hospital this fast. “How did you—”

“I had some help,” he replies simply. You don’t question any further.

You’re in a clean pair of clothes now. You hated wearing the hospital gown. It’s like they attempted to make hospitals less sad by fashioning a bib into a larger size. There you are with your assumptions again. Maybe the stages of grief have come for you after all. Why do you feel angry all the time? This can’t be normal.

What stage would it be if you’re afraid to get into a car because of their loss? You step into it with shaky legs, looking back and forth, as if you’re scared the vehicle would lurch forward suddenly. To be fair, it is a possibility, but a rare one. Your fear, therefore, is completely irrational, yet there you are: suddenly scared of… cars?

Get in finally. The breath you let go, however, has been keen on getting out. 

Chan knows well to avoid the path your parents went on when they died. He avoids it for both of your own wellbeings. They were close to him, too. He would hate to go down the road they died on. Like you, he wants to remember them fondly, not like the injured bodies that he said goodbye to at the morgue. Again, it’s for the best.

“Hey, kid,” he says. His peer at you through the rearview mirror gives you painful flashbacks. “You okay?”

He’s more attentive than he gives himself away as; he somehow notices your blank stare at the window and weak smile. He’s got you figured out, and you suppose that’s a good thing—it just shows how he could play his role as your dad pretty well if you let him. But then there’s the sense of yearning in you that’ll end up in no good. It’s yearning for your parents to come back, the yearning for them to somehow have the breath of life in their lungs again and have them rise from the morgue and walk back into your life. If they do that, you’d make an oath to be the best son. 

Ah, you know that won’t happen. It’s impossible. It’s wishful thinking that won’t amount to anything.

“You could talk to me.” His eyes stare straight at the road, but he’s not really looking at anything. “I miss them, too.”

“I’m fine, hyung,” you say. You’re not, but who needs to hear that? Not the guy to whom your parents entrusted you to. You’re twenty years old—who needs to hear an overgrown child’s lamentations? 

You don’t want to burden Chan at all. What you don’t know is he’s actually willing to hear all of it. You should have lamented about not knowing his openness rather than everything else. It would only lead to more sadness. 

The sadness evaporates a little upon seeing his house. It’s a nice place, with two stories and a nice terrace to lounge at. Maybe, from the other side, it’s your parents’ way of still loving you: giving you a nice home and a nice (future?) dad.

They're still looking after you. Look up in the sky and smile. Chan catches it, and for a second you blush in embarrassment, but he smiles, too. "See?" is what he says, followed up with: "Everything's gonna be fine."

Trust him on that.

Open the front door and it welcomes you into his home. Its main color is pure white. You start to wonder how the white walls are unblemished even with its ruinable color. Maybe he had it cleaned up for your sake. The furniture's good, too, but all it's good for right now is to be a bed for your luggage when you start to arrange things. 

"Your room's right over there," Chan says, pointing to an open door to your left. "Feel free to get some food or water. Whatever you like. You're family now." He steps closer and pats your shoulder. "Always been."

Smile appreciatively. Resist the urge to hug him and replace it with folding a few of your clothes into a pile to bring it over to your bedroom. Graphic shirts in one pile here, underwear and sleeveless shirts in the other over there. Add your headphones on top of the pile and you’re ready to start adjusting to your new room. Just one look and you could already tell it’s bigger than the one back at home. Well, former home, to be exact. You keep forgetting this is a whole new place that’s going to be where you sleep, rest, and laugh.

That voice gets your guard down, and so does the girl standing in front of you. That deep voice certainly can’t belong to the sweet-but-indifferent-faced girl leaning against your door frame. Look around for a bit to see if it’s anyone else’s, but there’s no one around. Just you and the alluring woman blocking the pathway to your new room.

She gestures to the stack of clothes in your arms with her brows. “You plan on doing anything with that or what?” she asks. 

Yeah, that deep voice definitely is hers; you can hear it loud and clear. Not one syllable could belong to anyone else, no one but her. What’s her name? It’s—

“Heejin,” says Chan exasperatedly. Amusement is present in his tone too as he walks over to break it up and sling an arm around his daughter’s shoulder. “Don’t scare the new guy and let him in his room, please?”

“I’m just being curious, daddy,” Heejin explains. 

Oh, so that’s her name. Heejin. Jeon Heejin. Neat. Has a nice ring to it, but it somehow spells trouble. You swear those letters can’t make up that word, but with Heejin, it sure does. Not only does her name spell it, but so do her eyes that are way too observant, tracking your every move with prolonged glances, and the tilt of her head as if she were a trained German Shepherd rather than the animal she reminds you of: a bunny.

A bunny? 

Wait—

"Oh, it's you!" you say. Almost drop your clothes on the floor when you realize it. How could you not have caught on?

Heejin smiles. It brings the sense of familiarity to wash more over your mind like waves. "Thought you would never recognize me, Jay," she says. "Hi there."

Try not to gawk with all your might, but you do anyway. Just hope it isn't obvious because see here, the Jeon Heejin you know used to be a shy little thing, never wanting to come out and play with you when you were younger out of embarrassment. Now, she writes confidence into each and every one of her moves, with a dazzling little smile to go along with it. How did she manage the transformation? You need the tips ASAP.

"Oh, right." Chan slaps a hand to his face and shakes his head. "You two've met before, right?"

She's a little sleazy when she rests her back on the frame again and nods, eyes never leaving your body. If anything, she's the one who's gawking and even if, for argument's sake, you are, it's just an eye for an eye. The two of you are just amazed at how much the other has grown up. Nothing more.

(Or… ?)

"So it seems," she says bluntly.

"Ah, should have known. But it was a long time ago, wasn't it?"

"Mhm." Heejin looks you up and down and smiles. "You've grown up."

"So have you," you reply, because she has. Toned muscle clings to her arms and she’s let go of the rectangle-shaped glasses. Now, circular Harry Potter spectacles sit on the bridge of her pointy nose. She stares at you through them for a while. She's a CCTV; she's monitoring your moves in HD and watching you put your clothes in neat piles in the cabinet drawers. Heejin gives you a stare that lingers long after you're done folding them. She's thinking of something, and you're not sure if you want to know.

"Daddy," she calls out. 

You don't know what you're doing when you turn your head in her direction. Much less when she winks at you. Blush furiously and hide your face behind spread shirts.

Chan peeks from the living room. "Yeah, hon?" 

"I think Nana's waiting for you to pick her up? It's 3 p.m.."

"Ah, right. Can’t forget about that little rascal.” He wipes his mouth and gets up. “Help Jay with his stuff, please, Heekki?"

It only takes seconds for Chan to find his keys, but for you it takes hours. Your heart beats loudly at the thought of being alone with Heejin, and you can’t differentiate its drumming with being nervous or excited. When he finally gets out and you hear the car pull out of the way, you’re stuck. Heejin’s somewhere near the corner of your room but it doesn’t look like she’s the one who has nowhere to go. 

She’s stunning with all those locks of shiny dark hair curtaining her shoulders and fit body. Her legs do more than peeking out from her low-cut shorts as she navigates your new room. The round glasses that sit on her nose just pull her whole, gorgeous look together. You can’t believe how beautiful she’s become. She was always a pretty girl, but the maturity and growth that coursed through her early years of adulthood made her glow. It’s like you’re looking at a new, refined version of her.

“I’m sorry about your parents,” says Heejin. She picks away at a poster of a famous basketball player, name redacted. “They were good people.”

“Trust me,” you sigh, “I know.”

God knows you didn’t appreciate your parents much. It’s a pet peeve of yours to be reminded to be grateful in grave situations, but your mother and father were different from other pairs of parents. Others were abusive, neglectful, cruel. Yours knew how to take care of you while letting you dip your toes into the pool of freedom at the same time. Your parents loved you. Not a lot of people could say that.

“And they told my dad to take you in, huh?”

“Does that bother you?” you say, with an unintentional bladed edge to your voice. Realize how you said it and immediately shut your mouth.

Heejin blinks, disarmed for a while, then recovers quickly with a smile that’s just as dazzling as her. “For what it’s worth,” she says, taking the chance to place herself beside you a little too close for anything that isn’t lustful intent, “I’d love to have you over here as long as you like.”

You don’t know what to say. Her being this close with you is setting off fireworks inside of you. Put a pillow snug in your lap just to be sure and nod. “Thanks, Heejin.”

“Of course.” Heejin rests her chin on your shoulder and whispers so softly that it could’ve been your imagination deluding you again: “I’ll make your time here worthwhile.”

Jerk your head, but she’s already scampering to the door and exiting your room. She doesn’t even look back. 

“Hey,” you say, trying to break the ice that only freezes you, “Chan hyung said you would help me with my stuff!”

No response.

So you were right to think that she’s trouble. But god, would you love to be wound up in her.

-

You’ve stared at the ceiling for too long, but now, it’s not out of grief. It’s out of fear. Are you doing the right thing by wanting to fuck your sister? Well, she’s not exactly your sister yet, but she’s somehow related to you now considering her father treats you as a son, too. A stepsister, maybe? There’s no other fitting term than that.

What should you do? Is gawking at her and her desirable body going to make your parents in the afterlife proud? You’re sure they’d be disappointed. But is it your fault that Heejin’s grown into this naturally flirtatious woman? Not at all. Is it your fault that she’s so damn attractive? The answer is no, too.

It could be a yes though, because it isn’t Heejin to blame that her new brother wants to have sex with her. You’re both in the wrong, and two of those don’t exactly make a right.

Look around your room, then at the door where she leaned on as she successfully intimidated you. Is it locked? Fuck it, you don’t know, and you probably don’t even care. What you do know is that you’re too turned on by the thought of your new sister Jeon Heejin, and you need to do something about it.

(To the cracked hole in the fourth wall, you say, What? I have needs, too, you know. And you do, too—why do you think you’re reading this now?)

Lift your comforter just a little and slide your hand south. Cup your bulge, caress it, then spring it out. It’s already solid, and it doesn’t need too many strokes to have the blood rushing there completely. Your stiff rod aches for a touch, aches for Heejin, and stimulates itself to the thought of her as you start to jerk off.

You think of how she could swing those full thighs over each side of your face, and though her form would burden your chin, you’d happily eat of her. Bet that her pussy’d taste just as good as her lips. You’d lick and suck her clit while she moans and writhes until the two of you couldn’t take it anymore; her core would feel numb after the pleasure and your jaw would ache for days.

You recall how her lips were just inches away from you earlier, only barely touching the curve of your ear. Think of how those lips would feel much better if they were on yours. Yearn for your mouths to meet to the point that you’re moaning in each other, taking in the natural scent of skin and sex.

Finally, you think of the changes you’ve seen in her. Where was the shy, antisocial Heejin of yesterday? Now she’s grown, just like you, and looks far better than you’d imagine. She’s turned into this will’o the wisp goddess.

“Heejin,” you say, as quietly as you could, “Heejin, Heejin, Heejin—”

“God, I really turned you on that much, huh?”

Your pumps stop, and your sight catches onto the said woman you’ve been jerking off to. She’s in the same place as she was earlier, at her opening scene at the door frame. You’re more than happy to see the pretty Heejin, but she can’t show up now. Not when you’re jerking off. She can’t just appear in the corner like she teleported for the pure purpose to catch you in the act.

“Heejin!” you yell, pulling the covers onto yourself. “G-get out of my room!”

She’s wearing her sleep clothes now, but she still looks like she dressed to impress. Her body pulls together the skimpy shorts and loose shirt she sleeps in into something that could have been worn on a haute couture catwalk. Her raised brows, haughty eyes, and quirked mouth all show how she’s smugger than the word itself.

“Aww,” Heejin says, walking over to sit on your bed, “what should we do to you now, oppa?”

You’re horrified, to say the least. It’s your first day at a new house and you’re already doing something wrong. The bare minimum you should do in this situation is to tell the girl to fuck off. Tell her to go far away and flee to anywhere but your room. You can’t just stare at her like she’s a dream come true, even if she is.

Let’s see: you have your new sister on your bed who caught you jerking off. There has to be some other way this would end, but the two of you know where this leads. The question that remains is if you’d be able to hold back.

You make the first step to resisting the inevitable outcome. “Heejin,” you say, breaths shredded into panicked little gasps, “I’ll only say it again and no more. Get out of my room.”

She smiles sweetly and shakes her head. “Can’t make me. I want to know what you were doing, Jay.”

“No!” You won’t be saying it, you won’t dream of saying it, you’d rather die than to be caught saying it. It’s already bad enough when it goes unspoken. What more if you pronounce what you were doing with each syllable more embarrassing than the other?

“Then I guess I should just”—she tugs the covers off—”oh my, Jay oppa. You were touching yourself to me. And I thought I was just being narcissistic.”

Your cock leaks in the cold air. Heejin laughs tauntingly. It sounds so much more attractive than it should, especially when her voice is deep and rich. It sounds… sexy?

Oh, what are you doing? You should feel embarrassed, maybe even petrified at the mere thought of your childhood acquaintance slash new sister slash new crush seeing your dick. But your mind doesn’t brew with insecurities upon seeing her eyes glimmer with eagerness.

She can’t do this. No, no, no, you can’t do this either. Let fucking her remain a fantasy pirouetting in your head, not one that comes true. It’s so much more awkward when it translates into real life where you somehow think it into existence. 

Awkwardness isn’t in Heejin’s dictionary, though. She looks far from uneasy or disgusted. In fact, you swear there’s a small grin dimpling her cheeks. It’s like she’s actually flattered that you’re jerking off to her.

“If I knew you had such a big cock, Jay oppa…” she says, placing a hand on your hip to prop herself on it. You jerk involuntarily, which happens at the worst time; your cock almost brushes her cheek. “I would have let you fuck me in front of daddy. Or would you rather I call you daddy?”

“Why are you here, for god’s sake?” you say. You’re biting your lip to suppress your humiliated screams.

“Well,” she taps her chin, a feat that would be adorable if you’d just cast the situation aside, “I thought I heard something, and it was just as I suspected.”

“Fine, I’ll say it for the third time: Jeon Heejin, get the fuck out of my room.”

“Oh, that’s right. Say my name, oppa. Daddy.” She winks. “Say it and I might just put my lips on this big fat cock.”

“No, you won’t.” 

It sounds more challenging instead of intimidating, and it’s clear that Jeejin doesn’t cower away from dares anymore. “Watch me.” 

She lowers herself onto your lower body and admires your length with bright bunny eyes. “I’d let you blow in my mouth as much as you like. I’d fuck my throat on it and give it a nice good kiss. Oh, right, you wanna know how? Like this.” 

She engages with your dick into an open-mouthed osculation, swallowing the tip and suckling it, too. Groan, but when you pull your hand out to do the opposite to her head, she’s already sitting back up. You really can’t have your way here, not when your new sister knows of her danger and puts it to good use. She’s resourceful like that, and it both impresses and scares you.

Heejin wags her finger in your face as if she were scolding a trouble child. “No, no, Jay oppa,” she reprimands you. “That was just a teaser. If you really want me, jerk off to me. Say my name.”

You can’t say no to her. Well, actually, you can—you just refuse to. You’re fifty-percent scared of the outcome of making this deal with Heejin and fifty-percent excited. There’s an Alice-like curiosity in you that yearns to see what might happen. Would she really keep her end of the deal and suck you off? Or leave you with blue balls like she did earlier?

Wrap your hand unsurely around your penis again. She nods encouragingly. 

Do your usual routine: up and down. Murmur her name over and over, your gaze connected with hers. Her smile grows bigger as your pumps become less measured. You start to spiral out of control. How can you not when she’s just too fucking hot? Her succubus stare, thighs that look fuller as they rest on your mattress, her intent that grows more clear as she rubs your thigh. You’re trapped in lust, and you know you have to settle down a little before you completely lose track of all senses, but you can’t stop. How could anyone when there’s Jeon Heejin as she lives and breathes in front of you?

Say her name, say her name. 

Say it like a poem, say it like it’s one of fame. 

Say it like you’re about to cum, which you are, and your climax isn’t one that’s too far—

“That’s it, Jay,” says Heejin in a tone that’s almost loving. As your cum shoots an obscene, one-direction spurt, she replaces your hand with hers. “Cum for me. You want to fuck me so bad it’s pathetic.”

Her touch is as rough as it is soft. You say it’s too much in between thin whimpers of pleasure, but her flexed hand is determined to keep pumping. Her fist tightens and her jerks grow stronger. 

“Naughty, naughty oppa. Look at this thick hot cum. Is it all for me?”

You’re spraying all over her and her meaty thighs. Her shorts get stained and you try with all your might to contain the bursts of white, but you end up on the edge again. You end up releasing more. Your thoughts run in circles and bump into each other—they’re scolding you, hurting you, asking you why the fuck are you cumming from your new sister’s handjob. You’d answer them by saying you don’t know, but you know the reason probably more than you know yourself: 

Heejin is unbearably alluring, and her giving you a handjob is unbearably wrong. Strangely, both of these facts get you going. The mere truth that she shouldn’t be doing this with you makes you want more of it. Has grief taken a more different route in traumatizing you? Oh god, what would your parents think?

What would Chan think? He trusts you enough to be a good big brother to Heejin. Would you really throw his trust in you away, all for his irritatingly hot oldest daughter?

If you’d take a look at the situation—you having just ejaculated on her—it seems like it.

“No,” you say. It’s a crack in your integrity knowing that you could stress her name in any way or form, and she’d still be hot as fuck. It wouldn’t undo what she did to you and what you let her do. “P-please. We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“That’s what makes it fun, right?” She wipes your cum from her thighs with her shirt. “Besides, I did say I’ll make your time worthwhile.”

How does that work? A brother and sister, whether related by blood or not, should bond by having sincere talks and treating each other, not by having sex. 

(But she’s right about the fun part. Looks like Heejin is just as fucked in the head as you are.)

“I want to have some fun, Jay oppa,” she explains. She places her palms on her thighs caked with cum, and pouts. From that, you know you can’t resist. You wouldn’t dare. “Won’t you let me, pretty please?”

She’s both hot and adorable. Hot enough to drive you crazy and adorable enough to convince you to do any of the most mundane things out there. You don’t know how to do this with her. It seems like no matter how cute or sleazy she poses herself as, she’ll always get what she wants somehow. 

It’s dumb of you to even try, but you do: “Okay, what fun do you want to have?” Say this while collecting tissues from the little box at your bedside table to wipe down her thighs. You expected to use the tissues for self-love sessions and nights when the tears couldn’t stop. You never thought that you’d have to use them to clean your cum from your new sibling’s legs.

“You know exactly what I want: I want this”—she points at your cock—”in here”—then at the center of her shorts.

Immediately your already gray morals come out to play. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Heejin,” you say, biting your lip to stay quiet. It’s not intentionally hot or whatsoever, but Heejin’s mind particularly hangs onto that for a while. “We’re brother and sister now. We can’t do this. What if your dad finds out?”

“Aww, I get it. I do, really. But you’re so going to hit my guts if you fuck me right now.” She throws off her shorts, leaving her in nothing but a set of cute pink panties. Then, she scoots herself over so that your cock rests upon her small belly, right in front of her core. “See? You can spread me that well, and I won’t mind at all. I promise.”

Look at your cock and how far it can reach inside her, how it can push her walls apart. Oh god, it’s tempting. Everything about her, from her perfect face to her spread thighs, calls for you to forgo propriety and just fuck her. 

“This bunny’s waiting for you, oppa.” Heejin does more than wait and pulls down your boxers. Pulls down her panties. Pulls down your ethics and morality and principles and everything you used to go by; down they go into the river of fire. “This bunny girl’s gonna fuck herself on this cock. You want that, don’t you, daddy? You want me to ride you and call you daddy. Make me call myself your little bunny. Yeah, I’ve got you all figured out.”

What she’s doing may be wrong, but what she’s saying is right. You, in all unfiltered honesty, want to see Heejin bounce on you and ride you endlessly. Her toned thighs and calves are made for it. She deserves getting what she wants after jerking you off.

But does Chan deserve this: have his new son and his daughter betray his trust? Turn the family upside down all because of lust? 

Oh, who cares what he thinks? When Heejin slides her pussy down your cock in one try despite her refusing tightness, you lose your thoughts. The will to take her roughly, just like she deserves, takes its place. It rules your head with an iron fist, just like how you rule Heejin’s impossibly tight pussy with iron-clad thrusts. 

“Oh, oh, oh fuck,” she gasps. She squeezes her eyes shut and grabs onto your shoulders. Her hold is tight. That’s one thing it has in common with her cunt. “Daddy, you’re so big. I can’t, p-properly ride it, you’re too big.”

Your cock is held hostage by Heejin’s stubborn cunt. She wants it to stuff her fully, but never could let it inside her. She’s too tight. Your hands on her waist, you push her down as gently as you could. She lets out deep groans and sighs. 

“That feels so good, daddy,” she tells you. After that, you achieve a dream you never thought would come true, as light as it is compared to fucking her: a kiss. It’s not as passionate as her bouncing on your crotch, but it’s good enough to have you blushing. “Yes, you like it when your little bunny girl kisses you? You like how tight she is?”

You nod. That’s all you can do when you’re speechless. What else can you say to her? You can’t tell her that it isn’t true when every iota of her words are true. 

“You can do better than that, daddy,” Heejin gasps, head tossed back. A storm of black hair hangs over your bed clothes. “I know you can. Yes, just like that. Do it. Fffuck me harder, I want it, fuck—”

Clearly, slow, precious pumps into her tiny hole aren’t going to work. So it isn’t exactly all your doing when you lift Heejin and suddenly have her pinned to the bed. The balance of power is reversed—you’re now pounding her to your mattress, spreading her legs and propelling your thrusts into the perfect target: her small, damp hole. You take advantage of how wet she is by thrusting bluntly and exclude the rest of your length for a chance to breathe. With Heejin, though, there’s no such thing as breathing. She’s left you gasping for air since your reunion.

“Hnnn, lookie here, daddy.” She lifts her shirt, revealing a surprising set of subtle yet hard abs, where your bulge appears and disappears. “You’re so big that you’re, fu— fucking reaching my tummy. That’s why you have to go deeper. Can’t waste such a big cock, right?”

She grabs your waist to aid your pumps. She must have done some serious lifting in the gym; those harsh tugs and pulls have got to be from somewhere. You’re thrown into a looped route of jamming your tip against her G-spot and cervix hard. Heejin’s grippy pussy refuses to let you go through the night without going down on her. Not that you’d have it any other way. Silly how just moments ago you were telling her not to continue her advances, yet now you’ve advanced past flirty banter with her.

Make it a point, no, a goal to thrust upward rather than only forward. She spreads her legs more, and you reach under her loose shirt to squeeze her breasts. Her nipples are perky and deserve each of your tweaks. Heejin whimpers, as if she were an actual bunny caught into a trap. What a terrible hunter you are, but it’s simply revenge. The disguised predator, Heejin, was actually prey—she’s caught into the ropes she went to with confident hops.

The hunter becomes the hunted.

“Fuck, you’re going to put a baby in me,” whines Heejin. “C-can’t do that, just—no, just cum on my stomach, please. My mouth, my legs, anywhere.”

When she puts it that way, it makes you spite the fact that it’s forbidden. You want to release in Heejin and make her feel your warm cum. Let it infiltrate her womb and give her a baby. You can’t have that happen, yet you want it to happen. It shouldn’t be like this.

“Please,” you say. You’re getting incredibly close that it rides on your tongue like the aftertaste of a dessertful. You can’t believe you’re actually begging to cum inside her, but any man would if put in your place. Anyone who thinks it’s pathetic clearly hasn’t met Heejin face to face.

“Daddy,” she says, “you can’t…”

Saddening news, and she isn’t too happy about it either. The tremble of her lower lip is one you capture with a firm kiss. Your breaths get caught in her mouth as you near climax. And the orgasmic Heejin’s wrapping her legs around you tight, as if daring you to breed her even if she’s clearly told you not to. It’s like her legs, sealed around your hips, bear the weight of the advantages and disadvantages and spread them out for you, yet the thing in between them makes you forget all about the cons. 

It’s scary how you almost give in.

Just in time, however, you pull away and bust a load on her tummy. It’s the product of all the jabs your rod did at it. It’s only fair it gets to show the plentiful result laid all over the muscled skin. 

Heejin looks down at the pool of cum while gasping for air. She swallows, then smiles. “Not bad for a guy who’s gonna be my big brother.”

-

You can already tell having sex with her is going to become a usual affair. The look she flashed you before leaving for school is telling enough. When she woke you up with a sloppy blowjob, saying in between soft suckles that “I have at least one hole you could fill,” you went insane. You’ve made your bed. Now you have to lie in it.

To be fair, you’d lie in Heejin forever if you could. But as a son, you have duties to fulfill. Although Chan told you that you’re free to do whatever you wish, you still have the sense to help around the house. You don’t want to be seen as a burden. You’d want to be anything but the new son who doesn’t know how to do things, especially for your new sisters.

Your new relationship with Heejin, though, exceeds familial bond. Will you hide it from Chan or put a stop to what she’s doing before it transforms completely? Down the road feelings from both ends might get involved and increase the overall taboo of the situation. Chan would probably get suspicious. 

You don’t know what to do.

Take your mind off things. Make an extravagant meal, or at least a style-over-substance one. Follow the instructions of a recipe for mashed potatoes at the back of the gravy powder packet. Hell, you could do this: set cut and peeled potatoes in a pot of briskly boiling water, mash them after smearing them with butter, shake pepper onto those motherfuckers… done! 

Put your masterpiece into a bowl and set it on the table. It actually looks pretty good. Maybe being a chef is your calling. You can already imagine the scenarios you’d go through as one. Chef Jay doesn’t sound too bad, right?

Chan is at work while Heejin’s at college. You’re glad you won’t be seeing Heejin for the remainder of the day; as much as you’d hate to see her go, meeting her would make you feral. She left a to-do list on a post-it sticky note on the fridge door, which looks like it’s been there for a while if you take into consideration the boxes all being checked. 

A more recent one, however, is Chan’s own reminders written on a piece of ruled college notebook paper, apparently addressed to you and Nana: 

Good morning! Have an awesome day ;)

Please treat yourself to the Mcdonalds in the fridge, just reheat it pls

Take care of yourselves, love you!

Ah, you wouldn’t have made mashed potatoes if you knew Chan had left some McDonald’s. You hope that he still remembers your favorite from years ago: a classic Big Mac with medium fries to go.

Open the fridge eagerly and—

There’s nothing?

You know who it is. That voice is decidedly more youthful than Heejin’s, but not anymore that high. It’s Nayeon. Nana, to be exact. Everyone you know calls her Nana in order to avoid confusing her with Im Nayeon who’s somewhere in the line of the kids of your parents’ friends.

Nana’s younger by only a year, hence being the perfect playmate for you back then. The two of you would run around and yell at each other gleefully, basking in the joys of childhood you didn’t know would last that short. 

So, when you step closer to her, you don’t really believe it’s her. If there’s anything in common between the bright Nana and the laid-back Heejin, it’s that they’ve both grown up beautifully. 

“Nana?” you ask. 

Her hair was a silky black then, often wrangled in between with sand and dirt, but now, it’s a mass of coffee brown. It looks like she’s gotten glasses, too, aside from a light fringe that settles prettily on her forehead. 

But then there’s Nana’s body, which you used to pick up as a child to mimic flying heroes with, which has grown… voluptuous. In the volleyball shorts and casual statement tee, it flatters her medium-sized bust and meaty thighs just right.

(It probably even coaxes you into thinking she’s the perfect… girlfriend?)

Her face still is adorable as ever. If someone were to put the cutest face in the world with the perfect body, the outcome would be Nana. She’s more than that, actually; she just so happens to be exactly your type.

Oh no, here you go again. Your feelings for her from your youthful days resurge, and you realize you’ll probably add another fuck-up to the list before this day ends. Meeting Heejin was one thing, but Nana, your first grade playmate slash friend slash childhood crush? Slash new sister? You’re as good as dead to Chan if he finds out what you want to do to her.

“Jay oppa!” says Nana. Her smile has grown more beautiful, just like the rest of her. It’s still cheeky, but wider. “You remember me, right?”

How could you not? “Y-yeah.”

“Aww, sweet!” Nana pokes you on the shoulder. “Anyway, I ate your Big Mac, sorry. I got hungry.”

Oh, so Chan did remember your favorites. 

“One meal wasn’t enough for you?” ask her, grinning. You still got that playfulness in you with her. Hopefully she reciprocates.

She gives you the finger. 

Scoff and turn away with raised hands. “If it makes you feel better, I made potatoes for you,” you announce, “but I guess I’ll have them since you ate my Big Mac.”

“Meanie.”

“Overgrown baby.”

“Jaybird.”

It’s just like the old times, except for today, nobody gets hurt. The two of you know the truth: you’ve missed each other so much. Not a day goes by when you don’t think of each other. You’re embedded into the depths of everyday thoughts, the times when she’d say oh no, I wasn’t thinking of you but only because she doesn’t realize it because you’re layers upon layers upon layers of idle thought. 

It would take an expeditioner to navigate through the history you and Nana have.

You’re childish. What makes up for it is what you say next, because it’s kind of true and isn’t merely something to say just for the hell of it, as you step forward and lower your gaze to her with a sobering glare: “Brat.”

Nana approaches you with her hands folded behind her back. She tilts with each step, as if contemplating on whether she is one or not. “Am I?” 

She’s so much smaller than you, yet your hands fill up when you place them on her hips. Her waist is tiny compared to the slopes of her hips and thighs. Her cheeks (on both parts, to be clear, because you know what you’re thinking) are sizable, too, and you can’t choose between the two pairs on which to squeeze.

“Yeah.”

“Can you handle it?”

You see where this is going. You’re still a mirror of each other, and the glass still reflects lust. “Nana.”

“Fine,” she says indifferently. She hops on the kitchen island and crosses her arms. That should be a sign that she’s going to be anything but. “Be like that. Pretend you don’t know what I wanna do. Even better, pretend you don’t like me.”

She’s got it all wrong. Draw in some air and let it out immediately. “I do like you, Nana,” you clarify. “But—”

“But?” 

How do you tell her what the matter is without revealing that you just had sex with Heejin the night before? You’ve no idea how to go through this. Your feelings for her collide with your attraction to her sister, as well as what you did with her.

No outcome of this is morally right, but who cares for morality? You do, although you’re the last person who should be talking about that. You’re trying to salvage what’s left of your ethics and piece it together to make yourself believe that you’re a good person. Newsflash: you’re not. No good person would fuck his new sister and want to fuck the other, too.

Whir the script you used for Heejin for her younger sister. “We’re family now,” you say weakly. 

Nana rolls her eyes. “Get off your high horse.”

“It’s not a high horse. It’s… it’s decency.”

“Hm. Okay.”

It’s surprising how quick Nana concedes. Her simple answer should have led to a simple result: the two of you never talking about this again and respecting the boundaries of the other. But no, she’s walking towards you, setting her hands on your shoulders. Her mouth is nearing yours, somewhere you’ve dreamed of it residing despite it being so wrong.

“Then stop me,” she dares you. It’s a tougher dare than the ones she made you do on the playground. “If you’re so righteous and don’t want to kiss me, stop me.”

You shouldn’t kiss her. You want to, but it’s something that should never happen. Your feelings for her since your childhood days can’t come out to play when she’s your new sister. No unspoken law of morality says that it’s fine for you to sweep her up in your arms, kiss her, and take her to bed. If you do, you’re committing multiple crimes. 

Nana is the braver felon. She presses her lips on your mouth, and you have to admit, in spite of the wrongness, that it’s everything you’ve dreamed of. Her chapsticked mouth is soft and sweet. You really should have held back. Nevertheless, her tongue is in your mouth, and soon you’re holding her head in your hands so you could kiss her properly. 

She’s turned you into a felon, too. So rob her of her breath. Hold her body hostage on the island. Kill your hesitation. You’re one of the same, yet only one of you has shown any hesitation in doing this. In fairness, there’s still a voice in the back of your head that commands you to stop. 

You don’t listen to it.

“Did your dad put any CCTVs in the house?” you ask breathily. If you’re going to do something wrong, you should at least try to hide it.

“He’s old as shit. Of course he didn’t,” says Nana, giggling. “If you eat my pussy right now he won’t know. Unless, of course, you want to get caught.”

“So you’re scared of climbing trees but not getting caught having sex?”

“Hey, I’m not scared of climbing trees anymore! Now shut up and eat me. Consider this… your lunch, since I had your McDonald’s.”

“By all means, Nayeon,” you say, pulling down the shorts that live up to their name and the flimsy set of pink panties.

“It’s Nana—ohhhh…”

Her correction gets lost and translated into moans. You’re sending quick, dainty licks on her clit. Enjoy the shivers Nana does. You know well to prey on that area after that, besides your experience with an old high school fling and sex ed. You also know to caress her thighs to send chills up her body, somehow even bringing heat to her core.

She’s too light to cause injury, but she almost, almost does when she squirms her hips harshly into your face. “Oppa!” she squeals. Her fingers are wrapped at the edge of the island as she lifts her lower body up for you to devour. “Th-that feels so good—fuck—”

“Thought you didn’t like to curse,” you say. Break the contact with her clit and let your finger take its place. 

“And I thought you were a virgin.”

You don’t realize that your finger rubbing on her sensitive little nub takes the offense out on it. “The fuck?”

“Y-yeah, I know.” Nana hisses. She rolls her hips up and down. “I thought you’d be too scared to have sex with me. You know, besides the obvious reasons.”

“So you’re saying I should be the guy you thought I would be? And stop?”

“Don’t you fucking dare—”

Laugh. “Relax,” you tell her. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll eat this delicious pussy of yours till you’re screaming, I promise.”

Nana laughs as well. She rests her calves on both of your shoulders and smiles. “Spoken like a true non-virgin.”

It helps that she’s so fucking delicious. You’d start having her as a rewarding meal after tough days rather than McDonald’s. She’s the perfect balance of sweetness and tanginess, filling your mouth like a rain of sugar. Wrapping your lips around her nub just brings out more wetness and moans that are just as sweet. Her sounds of pleasure are exactly what you’ve fantasized about them being: soft yet high, clinging to pitched tones and increasing in volume when you slurp on her nub. 

Her sounds are so much different from her sister’s. Heejin’s moans are deep and unearth even deeper feelings of lust for her. Nana’s drive you crazy in a different way. They urge you to keep eating her, to keep suckling harshly on her little clitoris so you’d have her stiff nipples poke the front of the cloth of her shirt, to keep doing away with her tiny hole so that she’s begging in that cute little voice of hers. 

She’s more passive than Heejin, too. It took rough patches for you to finally be able to fuck her sister into temporary submission. For Nana, it only takes a few licks here and there, and she’s already shaking. Still, you can’t choose between them. 

Why choose anyway when you can have them both?

Nana, of course, is good enough for now. Though she’s got you in a padlock between her thighs and forcing you to keep eating her, you give in happily. Your hands are curled around her thick soft thighs to maintain her sprawled position on the island. And dear god, are you taking advantage of it. The suction of your lips is almost cruel, and the poor girl has to alternate between loving it and being overwhelmed.

Run your hands along her delicious backside then squeeze the two round globes. She moans appreciatively, and she’s faced with another two decisions to choose from: to reverse herself into your hands so you could play with her ass more or to go forward to have your mouth absolutely devouring her. Both options are sure to provide her pleasure, but she can’t choose just one. So she moves her hips forward and backward, grinding on the tip of your tongue and your rough palms. It feels so much better this way for her. She’s finally found a good routine.

“Oppa, oppa, Jay oppa,” groans Nana. “Please, p-please.”

She doesn’t specify what she’s begging for. She doesn’t need to anyway when you know the answer. That’s why you run your tongue along her soaked labia, then let it peek into the hole they welcome you in. Delve your tongue inside her deeply. Her ass lifts off the surface and you have to pull her down to earth though she’s close to meeting heaven because of you. No, she’s staying here, under your control and touch. She isn’t going anywhere.

Not that Nana would rather be anywhere else. She’s content with having you orally please her. She likes the feeling of being sprawled out before and under you and letting you have your way with her. She was wrong to think you were a virgin; the wildest laps of an inexperienced mouth definitely won’t feel this good.

She should eat your lunch more times if this is how it would end.

“Your tongue, fuck,” she says, voice shattered, “ it feels so good—don’t stop, please, I can’t—”

You don’t plan on it. Nana’s too delicious, too sweet to stop eating of. She’s definitely miles better than what you were supposed to have for lunch. Although your head still swirls at the idea that you’re actually having sex with your crush, hesitation is a faint dream. Her moans, sweet and whiny, prod you on and tell you a story of a climax approaching.

Draw out the plotline by tracing a line from her slit to her pearl, repeat then, shove a plot twist in there by suddenly curling your tongue inside her. She provides the dialogue and ending line:

“Jay oppa, I’m cumming!”

Nana’s screams switch to squeals when you spank her bubble butt while continuing to eat her out. She reaches for your head and pulls it deeper between her thighs, while her other hand rests on her left nipple. The combined pleasure unexpectedly makes her leak of squirted girl cum. Of course, you waste no time in licking that up.

“T-too much, fuck, oh yes,” she gasps. Her breaths are burdened with each word. “Spank me, oppa, just like that!”

Everything you do drives her crazy. From your spanking and sucking, her hips never fail to lose control. They knock, sway, and dance while her pussy drips with more accumulated wetness and cum. Despite her satisfaction, it’s clear that you won’t be able to drink all of her juices when the mere act of doing it forms more.

“Oppa, oppa, stop.”

Pause and look up at her with a mouth smeared with juices. “What’s the problem?” you ask. You’d hate to have done something wrong to her.

“I think daddy and Heejin unnie are at the driveway.”

Shit. You immediately pull away from Nana’s cunt. She barely gets her shorts on right when Chan and Heejin come in. Pray that the kitchen smells of what it’s supposed to instead of sex. You can still catch the slight scent of gratification in the air. 

“We’re home!” says Chan. He comes bearing gifts: supermall department store paper bags strung in a single wrist. You’re strangely more drawn to Heejin rather than the clothes that might be brought home; she counts as a gift, right?

She’s barely wrapped, though. A tube top designed as a blue handkerchief dangles around her bust. The shawl doesn’t exactly play the probable role of a ribbon when it’s thinner than one. 

Oh well, easier to unwrap and break into pieces.

“Hi, Jay oppa,” says Heejin. Her smile is wide; she knows you’re flustered by her choice of fashion today. She looks at Nana with a comparably colder gaze. “Nana.”

Sibling rivalry, you assume? The tension is incapable of going unnoticed. You wonder what it’s for. There must have been history between them. You wouldn’t know, however; you’re an only child. Were. 

“How was the…” you say, trying to break the thickness in the air but find that you don’t have the words to do it. Why do you even bother? Oh, right, they’re your sisters now—as a big brother, you have to try and help them make ends meet. 

“Oh, the mall?” Chan says. He’s unknowingly rescued you from awkwardness. He throws you the bag. “Pretty good! I got you a shirt. Heekki bought some stuff, too.”

“You didn’t get me anything, daddy?” asks Nana disappointedly. The redness in her face is lucky to be passed off as the heat’s doing.

“Maybe if you didn’t spill that water on the floor I’d give you your present early.”

The youngest sister tilts her head, but when she turns around, she realizes what her father means. Just when you thought you’d left the coast clear, there’s one piece of evidence you failed to hide: Nana’s slick and cum. It drools from the edge of the island and on the ground. Even worse, your shirt is stained, too. 

“I—uh, daddy—”

“What? Gonna cry, Nayeon?” Heejin asks. She flashes her sister a taunting grin.

What is going on between these two? Why is Heejin bullying her? Why is Nana looking angrier than she’s ever looked in her life? You truly don’t understand. 

“It’s Nana,” the younger girl replies. Her shoulders are visibly tense.

Chan gives them a stern look. You know what that means: cut it out, or I’ll make you. You’ve learned to translate those looks from parents of unruly children at public places. “Girls,” he pacifies them. “Don’t want to start a fight in front of your new brother, do you?”

“She started it!” Nana says protestingly.

“And I’ll end it. Cut it out and clean your mess up.”

Heejin smiles sweetly yet artificially as her sister obeys what she’s told to do. Then, she drags you to the bedroom out of sight.

Cut to black.

-

“You’re a bad person, Jay oppa.”

Those are the first words Heejin told you after she pulled you into her room. Her kisses aren’t as passionate anymore when they’re more angry than lustful. Her lips mash on your neck, mouth, and chest, all while she unbuttons your shirt with quickness you’ve never seen in her.

Your shirt’s torn off you before it could even live on to be a hand-me-down. An angry Heejin, you find out, can do things like that. She isn’t all seductive and sweet when she’s furious. And right now, she’s burning on every end with wrath.

“I think that’s why you agreed to have sex with me,” she says. Pulls off your bottoms so she can sit her bottom on you. “Because you wanted some kind of fucked up stress relief. And then you see me, and you go ‘hey, I could fuck this girl and since she’s such a slut she wouldn’t mind.’ That’s what you thought, right? That I’m just another dumb slut bunny?”

None of that crossed in your mind. All you knew when you were reunited with Heejin was that you were very attracted to her. “Heejin, it isn’t like that. And you’re not a slut.”

“For you,” Heejin throws her shawl to the corner of the room, “I am.”

She said it, not you. Still won’t agree to it. But when Heejin’s riding you at this pace that you can’t keep up with, you might change your mind. 

Her thighs ripple photogenically when they slap onto yours. Your face can’t say the same. From the moment the door was closed, she pounced on you. She takes the role of a hunter again. She has her hand on your chest and her ass perched on your crotch. It all starts and ends there.

“Oh, and you looove lording it over me, huh?” she asks. She’s yelling at you, angry at you about something you don’t even know yet, which is supposed to make you feel scared. You should be cowering and promise yourself to never ever underestimate her again. Instead, you feel…

Aroused? 

Your cock is hard enough to push past her slick walls and bask in their embrace. You hear your own breaths partner up with Heejin’s.

“You know I like you and your dick so much,” she continues. Her bounces are strong. Days and nights spent at the gym keep her stamina strong. Is she a singer, too? Her voice hasn’t cracked once. Or maybe she’s just that angry. “That’s why you like making me jealous. You know I can’t control myself around you.”

“Heejin, it’s n-not like that.” Surprised that you manage to get those words out of your mouth. All that’s coming from it are moans.

“So what is it?” 

“Wait, is this about Nana?”

She growls. Her pace quickens, and you’re off the edge again, your hands planted on the white mattress shaking and failing to keep you up. Her voice is like a trigger word that shuts all your systems down. 

“See,” she says. She shuts her eyes and bites her lip. “You even, hahm, call her Nana, too.”

Give up on trying to remain stable. Place your hand instead on Heejin’s ass to help her meaningful grinding. “Everyone calls her that.”

“But you don’t even call me Heekki or anything. It’s not fair, you know. You and your fucking crush on that bitch.”

Well, she’s right. You do have a crush on Nana. She doesn’t have that wrong. The thing is—

“I’m sorry, Heekki.” 

You’d tell her that as many times as she wants if that’s what makes her feel better. You still want more sessions like these with her, maybe less violent, in the future, even if your feelings for her sister are beyond mere lust.

Right, Nayeon. Nana. What do you do about your attraction to her? Could you like Heejin and her at the same time? It isn’t fair to both parties, including you. You can’t just lead them on. You’re not supposed to, to be more precise; they’re your sisters. But of course, you break that taboo and are fucking the eldest sister to her guts in her bed after having just eaten her sibling’s pussy. You wouldn’t choose one over the other.

“Hnnn, yes.” Heejin minces her words in heavy, dark tones that sound a lot more desperate than the real her. It really is your fault. You’re making her this way. “Call me that again, Jay oppa. Please? I’m, I’m your Heekki, right? Your only bunny girl?”

Little white lies, little white lies. “Yes, Heekki,” you reply. “Now hop on daddy’s cock like a good little bunny.”

“Yes, of course I will, daddy!” She’s nearly sobbing when she resumes her riding. The flexes of her thighs help her lifting and resting on your crotch. She gasps because of your hands sneaking under her handkerchief top and squeezing her ample breasts. “D-daddy, please, Heekki loves your cock, please fuck me harder!”

Jerk upwards. Heejin’s perfect pussy is a real-life fleshlight. She could be your toy anytime, one you’d bring and fuck anywhere. She’s too fitting for all the secret desires embedded in your heart. Who wouldn’t want a slutty little bunny girl toy like Heejin, with an unexpectedly sexy deep voice and a fit body?

You’re all too focused on her tiny cunt. Her hole is just made to be bred. You have to remind yourself you can’t do it. It’s hard to resist when her cunt is virginally tight and the flesh of her ass is enticing to play with. Even her groans tempt you, all those little whines and pleas shoot right at your heart (and dick.) You want to fuck her like nothing’s wrong, like she isn’t your sister and you’re not supposed to be doing this.

“Daddy, daddy, oh, daddy—” Heejin gasps.

Swipe at her clit and she screams. Shut her up with the finger you used to rub her nub, sliding it into her unprepared yet otherwise welcoming mouth. “Shut up, slut. That’s what you are, right, Heejin? Daddy’s slutty bunny girl?”

Self-contradicting or something. Oh, you don’t know. 

Still with your fingers forcing her mouth open, she nods. “Mmm. Mhmm, daddy, your slut bunny, yes—”

Heejin isn’t angry anymore. Your cock turns out to be the solution to her problems, even jealousy. You’d hate to tell her that her envy is rational. 

How would you tell her?

She sucks on your fingers, eyes glowing with tears of need. “Cumming’n you, now, daddy,” she breathes. “I want to be daddy’s only bunny girl, t-the one who gets to cum around his big cock everyday, please. I’m not mad, Heekki’s not mad anymore, I promise.”

Kiss her, and for a moment you forget about your own trials, too. The world gives its toughest times (resisting the urge to fuck your new sisters dumb) to its strongest soldiers (you).

-

You have more secrets about yourself and what you’ve done than you can count on ten fingers. Not even a sworn oath could drag them from your lips. Torture like waterboarding or a knife to your throat would be useless. Your lips are sealed at all times. No exceptions.

That’s why you’re able to fuck both Nana and Heejin without them knowing about it.  It’s been months and it’s still going on. You can’t believe it reached this point. 

You enjoy the differences between the two girls whenever you fuck them. They don’t think that you’re fucking the other either. The angry sex you had with Heejin *reduced her worries about your possible (and very real) attraction to Nana by a lot.

*(Citation, if required:

The girl was on your thigh, a night when Nana and Chan were out. You and Heejin made up an excuse: we’re too tired. It’s a school night. Some shit. The point is that the two of you threaded the circumstances and made it line up to you being alone. No distractions.

Heejin still calls you daddy, and that time was no exception. She was naked from the waist down. Her upper body being clothed in a tight baby tee didn’t make it less sexy. Seeing how the piece of clothing wrapped around her lithe form turned you on already. To add to that, she was riding your thigh, hand on your length. You made the small living room your heaven.

“Fuck,” Heejin whimpered. She chewed on her bottom lips as she rode your thigh, making use of your bounces and your hands on her hips. “Daddy, how’s it that you’re so good even when your dick isn’t inside me?”

You were flattered. Therefore, (and it was the only right thing to do in response to that), you bounced her harder. Let her grind down on your knee and stimulate her clit on the curved edge. She’s a good girl. No past tense for that one. Heejin is always your good girl, and you’re her daddy who spoils her too much. No past tense for that one either. You truly do spoil her too much—you let her drag you in the bathroom when you’re shopping just so she could drop to her knees to suck you off. You buy her expensive brands though you’re sure she makes more money than you. You do too much for her.

Her payment is better than anything you give her. She’s a good little girl who bounces on daddy’s lap and has his cum as milk before bed. Remembering that, you lifted the baby tee up to kiss her nipples. You let a slight chew ride the edges of the brown little area, then sucked hard. It gave you the reaction you wanted, the reaction you craved: Heejin cumming on your thighs. 

Her grip on your cock was too tight and she never stopped jerking you off. You came on each other, bathing skin with love and lust. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.)

Nana’s the more oblivious one. She knows she has you wrapped around her finger, too much in fact that she doesn’t entertain the idea of you liking Heejin, too. *She was eager but scared at first. Now, she fucks you without doubt, without regret.

*(Another citation:

It was after a meaningful talk that she suddenly brought up that “you haven’t fucked me yet, Jay oppa,” she said. Her natural pout made it easier for you to dive into the subject.

“Sure I have,” you replied. “What are you talking about?”

You thought back to the times you fingered her to squirt and put your mouth on her. Nana was always weak for that, and you assumed that was the only way she liked it. That was why you didn’t bother extending it past that.

“Yeah,” said Nana, looking at the night sky from the terrace, “but you haven’t, like, actually put your cock in me. I want to see it! I want it inside me!”

“Alright.” You sat up. “Sure.”

“Huh?” Her cheeks reddened. She didn’t expect that at all.

“What? Let’s do it.”

“I thought you’d be all hesitant or something,” Nana explained shyly. She looked everywhere except your piercing gaze. “I think that’s why I asked. Um… what am I even saying? I want your cock, Jay oppa.”

“Come get it then.” 

You loved seeing Nana so shy and bashful. It was so different from the playful arrogance she sets when she’s around you. She could be so cute sometimes. 

All the time. You still haven’t gotten over what you felt for her. It’s been long since you were adopted by Chan, yet your crush on Nana’s been longer. You think that maybe she does have the same feelings. After all, why would she let you fuck her? But you keep telling yourself you’re making it more complicated than it should be. To keep on Nana’s good side, and out of your own fear, too, you need to fuck her. No sappy feelings mentioned, just the good ol’ rawdogging.

You’re happy about getting to fuck Nana. Still, it isn’t the same as getting to be her boyfriend.

You went on, nonetheless. The first time she sank down on your length, she let out the cutest sound you’d ever heard. Nana was adorable in every way. Her hands scrunched up to her face like a bunny’s would as she shyly let her pussy take in your size. 

“You’re so big,” she said.

“Heard that a couple of times. What’s new?” 

“Asshole.” Nana slapped your shoulder. “You sure I could do it?”

“More than. You’re almost there.”

You tried to act like you were no stranger to this and therefore didn’t care. It was difficult when Nana’s pussy was so closed around your girth that you had to guide her downwards. Her thighs twitched and her moans were higher than they usually were. When you went down on her with your tongue, she always screamed, or when you fingered her under the blanket while watching a movie. This sound from her, a whiny gasp tangled in between a shout and a cry, was new. 

You wanted to become more acquainted with it, for which you started to thrust.

“Fffuck,” she whispered with a wince. Why was the pain good? It wasn’t supposed to work like that. “Jay oppa, that feels really good.”

“Doesn’t hurt anymore?”

“Just a little. Just keep, fffucking. Me. And I’ll be okay.”

You couldn’t help it. You dove in for a kiss. You held her face in your hands as you pumped away inside her. This time, you made sure to be careful. It was the first time you had ever penetrated her. 

It was the one of many times, though, that you made her cum.)

“Jay.”

Deja vu hits you. Or maybe you’ve been substituting grief with it. It’s been almost a year and everything still reminds you of your parents. Jay isn’t exempted from that. You zoned out on him, just like you did to your mother and father. 

It’s your duty to look at him and pay attention. He’s done so much for you already. It’s the least you could do. It’s what you would have done if you’d known that fateful day that your parents would die. “Yeah?”

Chan smiles. “Are you alright?” he asks you. He pushes the tinfoiled chocolates towards you. Dessert is an everyday thing in his house. “We lost you there a little.”

Unwrap one and pop in your mouth. “I’m fine, thanks. What were we talking about?”

“I was saying I got a promotion.”

You smile. Good things happen to good people. “Congrats, hyung!”

“Thanks, Jay! But…” Hesitantly, he continues, “because of that, I’m going on a business trip. I’ll be gone for two days.”

Heejin’s eyes widen theatrically. “Oh no,” she says in faux disappointment, “oh no, daddy.” 

It sounds like she’s addressing you rather than her own real father. More context clues: she’s inched closer to you and has a hand on your thigh. She gives it a nice squeeze, causing you to straighten suddenly. This is the riskiest Heejin has gotten.

Steal a glance at Nana, who sits at the opposite side of the dinner table. She’s staring at the two of you with fire in her eyes. While she’s too cute to be menacing, she still sends a clear message: get Heejin off you now. She can’t bear with her sister being all touchy-feely with you, or having you alone with her. If she didn’t want to save face, she’d have pounced on the table to tear Heejin’s hair out.

And she’s got such a pretty, pretty face to save, doesn’t she?

“D’you think you kids could behave while I’m gone?” Chan asks. He scratches the back of his neck. “I mean, you’re all of age, and it’s technically legal, but if you want me to stay—”

“Oh, daddy, it’s fine!” says Heejin. She looks at you sweetly and raises your joined hands. “Jay oppa and I are good friends! We’ll keep the house clean!”

“What about you, Nana? What do you think?”

Nana’s glowering stare at you and her older sister is prolonged and envious. She truly can’t look intimidating with such an adorable face, but you feel her anger. It’s telepathic how she could sit there in silence and still tell you wordlessly that she’s angry. Furious is probably a better term; you can see flames rise from her eyes.

She swallows and composes herself the best she could. “I’ll be fine,” she says quietly.

Chan asks his daughter if she’s sure, and asks the older girl the same as well. He doesn’t leave you out either. He wants to balance a family and work life properly. Both should hold the same weight on the two pedestals. 

That’s how you end up with him gone for two days, and during the first few minutes of his departure, you and Heejin are kissing each other. Nothing more than that is what you promise. Chastity isn’t the best virtue to go by in terms of happiness, but you attempt with what you could to keep it pure. 

This is where you understand the self-contradiction, for Heejin’s stark naked from the waist and up. You can feel every bit of unclothed flesh beneath your palms. You can be the expeditioner, Heejin could be the map. You’d spread her, map out each bit of pale milky skin in the connection of your two bodies’ threshold. You’d tear her and use her to the point of impurity. 

But as you said: chastity.

It’s not like Heejin’s a saint herself. The skimpy booty shorts grind down on your lap as you kiss in her bedroom. Play with her nipples you will, then also take the time to appreciate her soft thighs. 

“These thighs are fucking amazing, Heekki,” you say. The nickname’s a familiar aftertaste in your mouth now. A delicious one. 

“You want to fuck them, oppa… daddy? What should I call you?”

A hand on the nape of her neck, you lay Heejin down on her bed. “I don’t care. Whichever, just make sure you let me fuck these legs.”

“Oppa it is.” Heejin grins cheekily. She spreads her arms just as much as she tightens her legs together, letting you appreciate the smoothness of her pits and her slim, beautiful arms. Not to disregard the muscles denting the skin, though. “Isn’t it so sexy? I’m fucking my big brother, and my little sister can barge in anytime. It’s so risky, right, Jay oppa?”

Slip your cock between her pressed flesh, and you easily discover that her thighs are as good as they look. Slide in, slide out, and repeat the cycle like a habit of vice. You’d never want to recover. Something could speak to you in the back of your head, urging you to let go of what’s wrong, and you wouldn’t listen. Even if that something was, let’s say, Nana?

Speaking of…

“What’s wrong, Jay oppa?” said girl’s older sister asks, curious about your sudden alarmed look.

You’d say a lot of things to her, now that you have the chance to. Only one comes to mind: “I, I think there’s someone at the—”

“I fucking knew it.”

That’s how it all starts. It begins with the scene that goes like this: Nana stands at the doorway with shock veining red in her eyes. Her hand is firm on the door knob; looks like someone forgot to lock before they fuck. That someone may be you or Heejin. You never know. It’s too late, anyway. Nana already knows.

You’d adlib a lot of things in this situation, too. However, none of them sound plausible. You can’t speak when you feel this odd sense of guilt brimming in the core of your heart. Seeing Nana’s horrified expression, you realize that it’s rooted from you thinking you’ve betrayed her. There’s her, obviously being your childhood crush and the girl you’ve fucked weeks on end, and then there’s you, fucking her sister in the bedroom where she’s supposed to flee for sisterly advice and familial gossip. It’s so incredibly wrong, all of it: your girth being locked between Heejin’s thighs, her obviously enjoying the way the underside of your cock rubs her preyed pussy, and Nana, the other girl you’ve been fucking. The other sister you’re fucking.

“You lying bitch,” spits Nana, glaring at Heejin. Such a word should never escape her mouth when she looks that pure and sweet, but she isn’t what she looks like, sexually speaking. Emotionally speaking. “I’m gonna tell dad, and you’re so fucking screwed.”

“Then I’ll tell him you fucked me, too,” you fire back. Venom laces your words. 

Heejin looks at you in horror. “What?”

Oh no. 

Oh god. 

You definitely should have thought before you spoke. Now, the cat’s out of the bag. The taboo secret you’ve tried to hide for so long from both siblings is out in the open. You can’t lie or fuck your way out of this anymore. It’s not going to work.

Nana catches on a loose thread in her sister. She tugs it to sew back her own pride. “Yeah, that’s right,” she says haughtily, “he fucked me, too. What, you thought you were special or something?”

“Hey.” She’s really going in for the kill. You have to put a stop to it before it escalates: “Let’s all just calm down—”

Heejin turns to you and laughs after a short, bitter little scoff. “No fucking way, Jay.” She drops her legs and kicks you away. Tumble into the bedroom cabinet. “You tricked us.”

She’s right. You’ll admit that because you can’t even deny it yourself. It’s true through and through; you hid two secrets from three people: your sisters and new father. But secrets always come to light, and today just so happens to be the day for your dirty little secrets.

“Yeah,” pipes up Nana. “You wanted to use two girls as your personal cumdumps you could just throw away. You don’t—”

She stops. The older girl is awfully silent and suspicious, though you are for other reasons as well.

“Oh.” She stares at Heejin for a moment, then laughs. The palm she’s placed on her mouth is only there for dramatic effect; she doesn’t bother stifling her smug laughs. “Oh. I see it now.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

Nana walks over with surprising confidence in her steps and wraps her hand around your cock. That’s the last thing you expected her to do. Your moans are a little rougher this time because of that. Nana doesn’t bother stopping to reconsider what she’s doing: jerking off her new brother in front of her sister who shares her own blood and flesh. 

She pouts so pitiably that it could be a genuine emotion if she pleases. “You don’t let him cum inside you, do you, my sweet unnie?” she asks. “That’s right. I know you don’t.”

Heejin’s eyes go all bunny wide. The irony of it all could be entertaining enough for your average telenovela enjoyer. It helps that she plays her role of the shocked and offended domineering sister so well.

But this isn’t a telenovela; this is real life. You’re actually going through this. You can’t turn it off in spite of your desire to. When there’s the yearning inside you to see what more there is to unfold, though, you give in. You don’t say a word to stop the sisterly quarrel. You simply stand there prone to Nana, who jerks you off with an unrestrained anger.

Heejin, who’s used to playing the cruel girl to her sister, finds herself in a position she’s never had to experience: getting the short end of the stick. Getting pierced by the end of the stick. Was her sister’s all-too-true accusation the forbidden apple to the shame she feels out of nowhere for her naked body?

She stutters. You’ve only heard her stutter when you’re fucking her. It’s so strange to hear how she clumsily stumbles over her words in real life where she’s got no escape. “Okay,” she says, giving up, “so I don’t let him cum inside me. So what? It’s not my fault I’m not a slut like you.”

“Oh please,” scoffs Nana. Waving off her sister’s insult is also a first for her. “Tell me something I haven’t heard before. At least I get to feel his warm, thick cum inside me. You’re too scared to even let him fuck you in a position that isn’t missionary.”

“Girls,” you say, in one last futile attempt to calm them down. Do you even want to calm them down? You’re not sure.

Nana pulls you away from her sibling and smiles with such untainted sweetness that it makes you forget she was mad in the first place. Well, she’s still a little mad for what she says next: 

“Come on, oppa. 

“Let me do something for you that she can’t.”

Her shirt becomes a figment of your imagination. You swear it was on a few seconds ago. But now, you see how it is: no bra. Not even a white camisole. Her perky breasts are there for you to toy with. You have multiple choices, actually: her soft tummy and wide hips are there, craving for your attention. Of course you give it to them, in the form of lingering hungry touches. 

Your lips are on hers all of a sudden. It doesn't even take minutes for you to have your mouths and tongues all over each other, licking where you can and kissing till the lust ferments. (Hint: it would never.) There’s an imaginary time limit going on for you and Nana, and so you’re tearing clothes off each other and stealing kisses as fast and as needily as you can. 

It doesn’t take the whole time limit for Heejin to get jealous. “Get off him,” she growls. She kisses your back, the touch sending shivers on your skin. Her nipples push on you. “You like me better, don’t you, daddy? I’m your Heekki, right?”

You don’t know. As of now, you like the other bunny girl better. “We’ll see.”

“‘Daddy’?” Nana giggles. “That all you got, Heejin?”

“Where’s the ‘unnie’?”

“You’re not the unnie unless you prove yourself to be one,” the youngest of the three of you answers in a sickeningly flattering tone. She brushes Heejin’s cheek. “So what’s it gonna be?”

Heejin stammers again. The smarmy and arrogant her is lost in the jealousy she gathers because of Nana pushing you down the bed. When she sees how you react to it with your needy face and hands on her waist, the anger burns inside her harder. 

Still, it surely can’t be the flame of fury that’s making her this hot and bothered, can it?

Nana backs off to present her ass to you. She circles her hips in the air, giving you a show, then places a hand on both of her cheeks. The denim shorts barely cover up the swells of her ass. “Take this off me, please, oppa?” she asks. And it’s so polite that it isn’t really your fault that you give in and tug the messily cut thing she calls shorts down.

“Daddy!” Heejin says in protest. She’s naked as well, but she’s still left out.

“I think I should be the one calling him daddy here,” gloats Nana. She rubs her ass on your cock. It perfectly pleasures the underside of your length. “After all, he’s the one who’s going to put a baby in me. But I’m sure you won’t mind.”

Her panties slide down her legs. And now, she descends.

Down she goes, but she’s only going higher. Your cock splits her pussy open, and it’s just as good as the first time. Nana still brings the same thrill you get when you fuck her hot body. Her bounces are more precise, and she learns to give you more than just the benefit of getting to screw her—she gifts you a show of her bountiful backside unintentionally clapping with the other cheek.

Spank her for that, though you should really reward rather than punish her when she’s only making you feel good. Doesn’t matter; she loves it. She looks back at you and bites her lip sultrily. 

“Fuck,” you groan, “such a good girl, Nana.”

Her moans are perfected with pitch and pleas. Nana’s expressions are timed well with your thrusts and guiding hands on her hips.

“I’m a good girl, too, daddy,” Heejin says softly. She kisses your mouth. “I’ll show you, okay?”

Chan’s eldest daughter climbs on top of your face. You pull off her shorts as well—you welcome all kinds of pleasure here. Nana slams herself down harder, and right on the second you groan due to it, Heejin’s already planted her pussy on your face.

See, these are the thighs you’ve dreamed of. These are the kind that would actually crush your head. Her muscular skin ensures that your head is subjected not only to thick softness. And yes, you’ve eaten Heejin out before, in times when you’d keep her prone on the edge of her bed while you pull orgasm after orgasm out of her with just your tongue, but this time you do it with increased gusto. The sisters’ blended moans sound better than any choir of your choosing. Name a band as well, while you’re at it, and Heejin and Nana’s voices would still outdo their songs.

“Yesss, thank you, daddy!” gasps Heejin. “Oh, mmm, I’m your good little girl. And because you’re my daddy, you should always eat your good girl out.”

“You talk like an attached trophy wife,” Nana remarks with a snortle. That’s not fair on her part; you know how desperate she can get when you’re fucking her, but you can’t really oppose it when Hejein’s muffling your mouth.

The other girl can’t retort either. Your tongue’s too good to her. “Shut up. He likes my pussy more. And he treats it sooo well, don’t you, my daddy? Better than you do Nana?”

Let’s see: well, you don’t know. Both sisters have amazing bodies you’d do any time of the day. You haven’t really given the intensity you submit to them much thought. It’s hard to think now when Heejin’s urgently riding your tongue while Nana rides your cock.

“No answer,” Nana says triumphantly. “I guess he’s biased there.”

“Hmph.”

“The better girl for oppa is the one who doesn’t immediately cum just because he’s touching them. Bet?”

“It’s a bet,” replies Heejin. She really shouldn’t be giving in to a deal she’s sure to lose; you know what the quintessential quiver of her hips mean. Then again, she’s not one to back down from a competition.

It’s kind of entertaining to see the differences between the two girls. It counts back then as well. It’s like they switched personalities with how the other fits the former just as well. Nana’s not afraid to use you. She rides you at a lightning-impulsed pace, rocking your cock with a tightness you’ll never forget. Her cries are wrapped with weak gasps. On the other hand, there’s Heejin, who’s still used to being the submissive little girl to you when it’s nothing close to her real cocky attitude out of the bedroom, who’s still afraid to use you. Oh, don’t forget her moans—their depth and groany tinge make your cock throb. Too bad it’s inside Nana.

(It’s actually not that bad at all; the pulsing and twitching cause Nana to shake deliciously. Her slow, meaningful grinds bring you to life.)

Hence, you’re fucking Heejin with your tongue faster, with no care for the juices that slide down your chin and the sides of your mouth. Her clit bumps your nose. It’s an advantage you take—you push and pull her back and forth to get her shivering whenever her precious pearl hits the tip of your nose.

Nana isn’t left out of the equation either. Push your lower body upwards so that your tip meets the end of her pussy. Shimmy them so that it rubs her walls. She gasps girlishly and soon finds out that she isn’t made for the fight she started with her sister. She’s chosen to fight the wrong battle.

“I’m close,” she whimpers. Her eyes are sealed shut. “You’re too good, oppa.”

“M-me too!” Heejin says. Her voice is on the brink of a yell. Sloppily suck her clit and she’s past that. “Daddy, daddy, daddy, keep licking me like that, oh!”

“Shit… Jay oppa!”

You’re soaked on both ends. Try to clean up Heejin’s stream of cum the best you could and pump Nana’s slick out of her. In the midst of everything, you don’t stop. You want to keep hearing the girls’ beautiful cries of pleasure. 

“God, enough, daddy,” begs the shaking Heejin. She’s slapping her own breasts, lip bloodied under her teeth. “I want to cum on your cock, too.”

A better premise. “Sure.”

“Wait.” Nana stops the two of you. “Who came first?”

Heejin turns away with pink cheeks. 

Nana’s known her all her life, so she reads that look better than anyone else could. “Of course you did.” She rolls her eyes. “You don’t deserve to sit on his cock.”

“I do…” Her eyes are glossy. Her desperation really doesn’t go away with shame. If she were to be honest, it’s the shaming that deepens it. “But please, daddy, please—”

“Fine. Let’s ask oppa what he wants us to do. We’ll see who’s the better girl for him”

You can’t recognize Nana anymore. You know how big of a sub she can get, yet you didn’t realize how rough she can be as a dominant party in the bedroom. With how she orders around her sister and you, you’d think it’s a usual thing for her. Maybe it is. 

“Nana-ya,” Heejin says, trying to bring the tone she lorded over her little sister with back. It ends up weak—it’s to no avail.

“Do it,” Nana tells her with a pitch of finality. “Ask him.”

“Fuck,” the other bunny girl says nervously. She swallows, then turns to you. You’re just as on the edge as she is. “Daddy, what do you want us to do?”

You have plenty of situations you could make them turn into reality. Some even cross the line. There are already plenty of boundaries you’ve soared past. You just have to choose one out of the many fantasies you have because now that you’re looking back at the chaos of it all, you wanted this to happen. You wanted them to find out. There’s a fucked up voice inside you that insists on becoming riskier, becoming more careless. It’s supposed to be blocked out.

Still and all, there’s Heejin and Nana beside you on the bed, with their shared pouty lips and eyes glistening with want. Said distinct, glossy features give you an idea.

“Suck my cock,” you say finally. In other settings that would have been a grave insult to the average middle school outcast. For Heejin and Nana, it’s the word of a deity himself.

Both girls don’t waste precious time on questioning if two sisters sucking their new adopted brother’s cock is morally right or not. What matters above all is that their lips decorate your length. It’s like they’re determined to give it a bath. It’s the only way you know how to explain it when Heejin’s round, doll-like eyes stare in awe at her sister running her lips up and down the sideless shape of your cock and your sensitive slit. Shiver on the occasion she licks there. Nana knows how to take cock as much as she’s learned into the art of fucking your face. It goes both ways here, you see. You wouldn’t have thought she was the one who was just recently a virgin.

Heejin leaves the tougher things to the expert. While she’s the one who first sucked your cock between the two of them, it’s clear that Nana’s better at this. She can hear your ragged moans. She remains determined to please you. She kisses your heavy balls, sucking on the prickled skin on each and licking at them lovingly.

“Fuck… Heekki…”

That’s a sign for Nana to up her game. She glares at you, and it’s everything but subtle. She throws out all the anger she’s held in her heart after the PDA you put on with Heejin recently onto sucking your cock. Her throat is tight and her mouth is warm as your cock enters and exits, stabbing through the breaths for air that never quite make it to her lungs. She doesn’t mind losing air. She does, actually, but she’s quite more focused on getting your attention back on her.

Heejin doesn’t let up on the competition. Like you said, she isn’t the type of girl to back down from a challenge. Whatever she competes at she’ll give it her all. She might have lost and came earlier than expected just a few minutes ago, sure, but she’s a competitive girl. She always wants to be on top. Or if not, underneath you. 

That’s why her lips alternate between your testicles. Bite your lip to suppress yourself from tugging her hair. It doesn’t work; your hand ends up sifted in her hair and tugging so that her nose pressed on your pubic patch. From there she has to take in your musky scent and have the precum from your tip drip down the side of her face.

“We’re being good girls, Heejin,” Nana says after pulling away from your cock. 

“You’re not too bad yourself,” the older one of them admits. She licks the underside of your base teasingly, sending a gasp and a sudden shot of cum out of you. “What d’you think, daddy?”

They seem to not have noticed that you orgasmed a bit. They keep lapping and kissing your cock like nothing could compare to it. No piece of arcade candy or slice of cake could match the taste of your cock. They feast on it, the little devils they are—Heejin decides to take a turn at swallowing your cock whole and succeeds while Nana kisses your thighs. You’re sensitive all over, and they have no signs of stopping. They’ll keep suckling and licking all day if you don’t conquer control again.

Therefore: get up like your latest orgasm didn’t occur. 

“On your stomach. On the bed. Now.”

Soon they’re scrambling to follow your orders. Aren’t they always? Their butts are in front of you side by side. They say sisters have a lot in common—for this situation, it’s the wetness rolling droplets down their luscious thighs and the two replicas of the same, passive look as they turn their heads to you. They’re waiting for your next command.

You don’t give any. It’s all on you now.

Push yourself inside Heejin’s slick pussy. Perhaps she deserves to be fucked, like she says. So don’t bother to extract lengthy inches and just fire short, driven thrusts. Spank Nana to keep her occupied. Her moans are as sweet as her sister’s, much more when you finger her.

Tandem and might. They’re foreign concepts to you since you weren’t a sporty kind of kid. You still find yourself taking all those out on the two girls. You position yourself so that you’re able to pump fast into Heejin while keeping the deep thrusts going while curling your fingers into Nana’s weak spots. 

“That’s not fair, Jay oppa,” she tells you, face buried into the sheets. It’s lucky that you even get to make out a fraction of her words. “I was the one being good.”

“Maybe he just likes me more,” quips Heejin wittily. It’s a lost sound when you punish her with a pronounced pump. Little do you know that she’d find it hot. “Fuck yes, you’re amazing, daddy.”

She gives up on trying to keep her head raised. She drops it and groans with the bed muffling the way of her voice. Who could have ever found out that the tuck of her bottom lip under her teeth, an action so simple, could fruit such lust inside you?

“Of course you’re being good, Nana. Only good girls get bred.”

They don’t get what you mean until you pull out of Heejin and slip into the sister you mentioned. Nana’s back curves beautifully and she sighs as she’s filled to the point of overflow with your hot and sticky cum. You slap her ass hard, leaving a red trace of your hand on her cheek. She grinds seductively into your cock burying itself to the depths of her pussy.

“Noooo,” sobs Heejin, green with envy. “Please, gah, just let me have your cum. I promise I’ll let you cum inside me all the time. Can do it even with my dad watching, or Nana, just please—”

“Desperate little slut. Will you let my naughty big sister have what she wants, oppa?”

In one way or another, Heejin always gets what she wants. She could be the one underneath you, sure, and she’d remain the benefactor.

Such is the beauty of having her cum beautifully and instantly on your fingers after you finger out some cum from Nana’s pussy into hers.

-

Chan never does find out what the white on Heejin’s bed is from. Is it from a girl’s problem that isn’t too known? He doesn’t know. It might be glue. Whatever. He’s not that well-versed into feminine problems, so he simply assumes those are the source of them. 

He also doesn’t know why the sisters suddenly don’t fight anymore. It’s a well-kept secret that you’ve made a pact with them, told them that you could be theirs as long as they kiss you and don’t tell. It works well to keep the sisters in line, and it’s beneficial for Chan, too. He doesn’t have to pacify repeated arguments anymore.

So far the peace in your new home is maintained. The bedroom is exempted.

Obviously. 

[queenofcoquette]

anti-aging: the good and the bad

not to be all “we live in a society” but i’ve noticed that on social media at least, there’s horrible discourse about anti-aging, pushed by beauty companies that pressure people into botox, fixating on their apperance. etc. so i want to talk about the good and the bad- agingin healthily vs. being superficial.

anti aging- the good:

good mobility/flexibility. a lot of older people get injuries due to their lack of mobility and flexibility. as we age we naturally lose these skills, but by working out and staying consistent we can ensure that we’re strong even when we’re older.

healthy diet. younger people usually don’t think too much about their diet, since our bodies just kinda take care of themselves most of the time. but for an older person an unhealthy diet can lead to a whole lot of problems, so it’s important to invest in a good diet that keeps you healthy and happy.

healthy lifestyle. staying active now and when we’re older is another way to stay young, mentally and physically. having good hygeine, having hobbies, things like that. take care of your body, not just for the sake of looking good, but for the sake of feeling good.

staying mentally sharp. another factor to anti-aging is constantly learning. keeping an open mind and being fascinated by things. continuing to learn instead of being stuck on the past.

living life to the fullest. life shouldn’t stop when you turn 60 or whatever. my grandma’s sister is one of the strongest people i know. she lost her son and her husband yet even in her late 70s she volunteers, she went to Hawaii. her life is still fun and she’s surrounded by people she loves!

anti aging- the bad:

fixating on wrinkles. having good skincare and sun protection is important for the health of our skin, but fixating on not having wrinkles can be damaging. certain skin conditions can lead to getting wrinkles younger, or just if your skin is drier or oilier. i’m tired of seeing influencers pushing ‘anti wrinkle straws’ or telling people to smile less. its dumb- we’re all gonna get wrinkles.

fixating on a youthful appearance. we only have a bit of control over how “youthful” you look. like if you have a more angular face and dry skin, you’ll look less youthful then someone with a rounder face and oily skin. there’s no way to control that, so who cares?

what we can do:

stop giving in to these toxic ideas. i see so many girls on TikTok freaking out about wrinkles and all those things. i was scared a while ago cuz when i smile i have tiny lines on the corner of my eye- but i realized everyone my age has those! stop engaging in toxic content.

health over beauty. focus on longevity- working out to be strong in the future, eating good to feel good when we’re older. when you prioritize being healthy you’ll automatically look younger. so you’ll look and feel good- it’s a win win!

keep learning. even when we get older we should always prioritize learning new things and broadening our mind. my grandpa is 83 but he’s still open-minded, he’s willing to hear different political points and that keeps him young.

reflecting. age only brings wisdom if you’re willing to learn and reflect. 

remember that life never loses meaning as old as we are. the people who think life stops being fun when you’re 40 are the people who act old. plenty of people can be old and have fun. i saw a 97ish year old guy who goes to the gym everyday, a 93 year old lady on Instagram celebrating pride and going to parties with her friends. life only stops being fun when we close off our minds.

conclusion:

instead of fearing what we’ll look like in 60 years, let’s think about how we can live our best life 60 years from now. anti-aging should be about health, to live life to the fullest when we’re older, instead of worrying about little things that don’t matter. life is kinda short, so we should make the most of it, and ensure that we can always have fun. we shouldn’t spend our whole lives worrying about wrinkles or living in the delusion that life stops being fun with age. living long is a blessing that we should all use to the best of our ability. life only stops being good when you give up.

[garglyswoof]

Fragile Things

ao3 For @kastleexchange Come What May Day 1, "What Could Be" The first thing they say to each other in Daredevil: Born Again. Please note i have no clue what canon is anymore, except (hopefully) in terms of characterization. She knows it can’t last, like it’s a truce the world has temporarily granted, fragile and held together by the most tenuous of things. A house of cards, really, and she eyes it warily, even as Matt’s let down his own guard now that Fisk isn’t around. No one has stepped up to the plate to organize criminal activity on the scale Fisk had managed, his empire ran haphazardly by lesser minds, as lesser threats.

So yes, Matt has let them in more, her and Foggy, now that his nightly excursions seem almost too easy. Not that they don’t leave him bruised and battered, but he seems less afraid of pulling his friends in when there’s not a criminal mastermind behind them, just poor attempts at the throne.

Still, she‘s tense that whole spring, into summer, then the fall, waiting and watching that house of cards. The Jack of Hearts looks a little bit like Foggy, who’d grown a goatee and then shaved it off in favor of just a mustache despite Karen needling him mercilessly for it.

“Karen, I’m going through my eras of TV Hunk. We’re in the Tom Selleck phase, do you know how many women swooned over his mustache? I will not be bound by societal changes.”

“Does Marci like it?”

He glances sidelong at her, pauses then lets out a defeated sigh. “Yes, or you know it would be gone in 30 seconds.”

“Ok I’ll work on her. Every time you come into the office I picture you sliding across the hood of a 70s muscle car like you’re in Magnum P.I. and I can’t take you seriously.”

“Reminds me of that time when Fr--” Foggy stops himself, but she knows.

“Yeah,” she says softly, her eyes flicking up to meet his gaze then leave it. “Yeah it does.”

It would be a lie to say she didn’t think about Frank, but Murdock, Nelson and Page had been a good distraction this last year. Setting up the firm, finding a new office in the Kitchen, and just playing serious legal catch-up to the two avocados at law were enough to keep thoughts of him to a dull roar (she’d bought them little namesakes, glass-blown ones with painted-on sunglasses and a mustache, from a stall at one of those weekend art festivals that were always popping up around the city).

Still, at night when she tosses her keys on the side table and the lonely weight of her quiet apartment settles into her bones, she thinks of him. Of how he couldn’t look at her in that damned hospital room, eyes darting, of how he pushed her away with his own stubborn, selfish aims. Yeah. Yeah, she’ll have a lot to say to him, if she could. 

But he’s been gone this past year, or maybe just terrorizing some other part of the country’s criminal organizations. Like she’d thought earlier, New York was missing some of its seedy underbelly these days. It’s why it worked, this house of cards.

It comes crashing down that Thursday night. 

It had been a good day, Matt heading into court in the afternoon, Foggy finally breaking the industrious quiet by announcing he’s always wanted a putting green in his office. 

Somehow that has evolved into a three-hole miniature golf course where the final hole is a ramp to Foggy’s blown-up face from an old political poster with the mouth cut out. Karen’s sides hurt from laughing as the city settles into the dark of evening. 

“Wow, you really suck at this,” Foggy laughs.

“I did not know I needed to practice -” she bursts into giggles -”putting a ball - oh god - p-putting a ball into your m-mouth”.

Foggy loses it too until a text buzzes both their phones. They both sober up from the laughter, each thinking the same thought as they reach for their mobiles. Matt’s been gone too long.

Sure enough, it’s a text from him, and Karen’s heart sinks from the vagueness of it.

Won’t be able to make it out tonight. You two have fun and see you in the a.m.

She looks up to see Foggy’s expression as he studies the words on the screen like an Ancient Text, the backlight and the now dim light in the office lending him a haggard expression. It's the first time she’s seen it in a year.

“He’ll be okay, Fogs.” She isn’t sure she believes it, but she says it anyway. She doesn’t think he believes it either, but he smiles all the same. She marvels, not for the first time, at how trauma is a form of time travel. Because despite the progress of this past year, her and Foggy both remember Matt, before, and they are right back there again in an instant.

Foggy’s expression almost breaks her heart as he nods and takes an absentminded last putt, the ball rolling up the braille legal book ramp and straight into the picture’s mouth.

---------------------------------

Karen hasn’t changed a bit, despite all that’s happened, and she knows this is a bad idea but can’t stop herself all the same. She’d said goodbye to Foggy at the office doorway, mumbling something about cleaning up the casserole dish from one of their recent sliding scale (if you could call it that) clients. Foggy had been on the phone with Marci, but had paused - Karen’s heart aching with the kindness of him - for a moment, holding his hand over the speaker.

“You sure?” He'd mouthed before speaking in a whisper. “This isn’t about Matt, right?”

She’d shrugged her shoulders. She wasn’t going to lie about that, at least. “Maybe it is, but it’s okay. I just want to have some time to think, and scrubbing cheese off this casserole dish will sadly give me time.”

He’d left then, with one worried glance backwards. She’ll have to keep an eye on her phone tonight, she’s willing to bet he’ll at least text to check in on her. 

It had been the silences from Matt that had scared them the most. She isn’t doing that to Foggy.

Still, she’s pretty sure he wouldn’t approve of her rifling through Matt’s files, her notes, and the Bulletin trying to triangulate where the hell Daredevil is off to tonight. She figures it out when she sees the line in the local crime beat from last week, from a paper she hadn’t yet let herself start reading again until now. 

Ex-FBI Officer Charged with Death of Priest, FBI Officer Escapes From Prison

She drops the paper and scrambles to her desk, pulling out the drawer that holds her purse, shaking, and grabs her gun, her breath ragged in the quiet of the office, the gun almost sucking the light out of the room, matte black. She stares at it for a moment before raising it in both hands, her feet unconsciously shifting apart to ground her. She feels the trigger under her finger, safety still on, she knows, and she presses the trigger once, twice, three times, over and over until her face crumples and she slides to the floor. 

She doesn’t give herself much time to let the pain rule her, she never does. If Bullseye is back, then that’s what Matt is looking into, and she knows he’ll need help despite not wanting it. Not to mention she has a score to settle with that psycho. Her hand shakes as she locks the office up until she stares at her fingers, willing them to calmness.

The church still looms taller than her faith, which isn’t hard to manage, she thinks wryly. The night holds an early fall chill, a breeze off the river teasing the hairs at the nape of her neck where her hair is pulled into a low ponytail. Quiet rules the street with the church lit gently by low exterior lights as she eyes the windows and tries not to think about the past. She’s almost about to give up, thinking that she’s guessed wrong, when she sees the heavy front door shift. A figure darts through, too broad-shouldered to be Matt, she thinks, then the door shuts without a noise and she’s staring into a face lit lowly for just a second before the man ducks into the shadows. 

Frank. She’s frozen there, on the sidewalk, and she knows it’s the stupidest thing for her to do so she darts off the path onto the grass that edges the church’s lot. She’s not sure if he’s seen her, and can’t spot him anymore in the darkness, and she has a moment to think - god how on earth did he just disappear like that? before he’s in front of her, finger to his lips at her impending shriek of surprise, his face familiarly blood-spattered and sporting an almost goofy grin. It doesn’t make sense, any of it, and she stares at him in confusion as he tugs her hands into his, holding her out like he wants to look at her, take stock, that grin lowering like a sail as his eyes grow more intense and how can he be so casual and what is going on and -

“Ma’am,” he says, his tone teasing. 

She relaxes, because there can’t be any danger here if he’s acting like that, but then tensing back up because honestly, what the hell? 

He must see it in her face because he rumbles an apology. ‘M’sorry. Just…seeing you like that, reminded me of…” he trails off, dropping her hands to tug at his hood in mimicry of his beggar routine. That happened forever ago, but he still remembers. So does she. “And you’re still all heart, I don’t even need to ask.” 

Something about the way he says it, almost proprietarily, pisses her off. Her eyes flash in the shadows they’ve found themselves in, pulling deeper in as a car passes and breaks the silence with loud, low bass.  “Yeah, Frank? What clued you in there?” 

She wants him to say it. Doesn’t want to have to spell it out.

His head punches back slightly, taking the blow. He changes the subject, or maybe it’s still the same one. “I came back as soon as I heard. The church’s been clean so far, surprised though. Guy like that usually wants to win where he lost.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too,” Karen admits. “So what’s with the blood?”

He touches his face, as if reminding himself. “Research.” 

She almost laughs. 

“Where’s Red?” He rasps out.

“This was me trying to find him,” she says and watches his face soften out of the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry, Karen.”

She waits, staring down at where the grass, wet from the day’s watering, sticks to her sneakers.

He clears his throat. “I wasn’t there for you when he came after you the first time. Fuckin' killed me to hear about it. Killed me to know you were hurt and scared and I wasn’t around to help.”

He’s not saying the right things, but they’re still good ones. She smiles a timid smile, glances up and lets him give her what he can. She’s got a year of therapy on one Frank Castle under her belt.  “It’s okay, Frank.”

She knows he wants to say more, say something about the hospital. She pulls him in for a hug, kisses his cheek in a spot bare of blood. Maybe she’s the one that isn’t ready this time. 

“It’s okay.”

She feels his lips on her neck, a brief chapped kiss, before he pulls back and stares into her eyes like he’s trying to solve her mystery.

“I just want to find Matt, Frank. Make sure he’s okay.” 

Maybe he hears it in her voice, the unspoken later, maybe he just senses the urgency.

“Alright then, let’s go.” He grabs her hand again, pulls his hood up with another. She’s so in shock that she doesn’t move until he starts tugging. He looks back at her, casually throws back, “You’re going to do it anyway. At least I can keep an eye on you this way.”

It both pisses her off and makes her smile. Her feelings are never black and white for Frank Castle, but it definitely seems like he’s accepted some things about her, at least. She squeezes his hand that dwarfs her own, callused and warm, and follows him away from the church, into the heart of the city.

[darkskywishes]

Being disabled/chronically ill is expensive!

I don't know if people realize how freaking expensive it is to be disabled. I have a complex medical history, which includes two rare genetic illnesses, comorbidities associated with those two illnesses, and several mental health conditions. Just to give an idea of how expensive it is (USA-centric):

I'm forced into living in a specific city, since that's where the medical specialists for my illnesses are located in. On top of that, sometimes the specific specialists I need aren’t covered by my insurance, so I have to pay out-of-pocket. Each medical specialist (when covered by insurance) costs me $40/visit. I average 2-3 visits per month.

Wheelchairs and everything related to wheelchairs are ridiculously priced! If you’re a regular manual wheelchair user, for example, you likely need what’s referred to as a “custom ultra-lightweight wheelchair”. The main companies known for making these wheelchairs are TiLite, Quickie, RGK, Kuschall, and Ki Mobility. If you go on the websites for these manufacturers, you’ll see that just the frame will start you at $2,000+. Need titanium instead of aluminum to make the chair lighter? Extra $1,000. Need to add a seat cushion? More $$. Need to add a power assist device like a SmartDrive? Extra $6-7,000

Seriously, wheelchair parts are expensive. Manual wheelchair wheels will run you about $500 to $800 each (take a look at websites like Spinergy to see what I mean). Wheelchair tires will run at about $300 for the pair.

Mental healthcare! Competent psychiatric care is difficult to come by, at least where I live. Most psychiatrists are not contracted with any insurance companies. My own psychiatrist is $200 per visit, and that’s considered cheap in my area. Then, add on the cost of weekly therapy. My therapist is $150/session. Again, typical price for the area. Need residential treatment? As an example, my insurance quoted me $750 per day until the out-of-pocket max of $6,500 was met.

The monthly cost of medications! I take 7 medications. Even if each medication was “only” $10/month, that would total to $70/month.

The cost of specialized diets. Many chronic illnesses require special foods, supplements, and overall diets. A lot of these diets require extra time and expenses beyond what the average non-disabled person spends.

I wanted to spread some awareness on this issue because, even among my friend group, I regularly get surprised reactions on this topic. Disabled people are often low-income due to being unable to work consistently or at all, while also having some of the highest expenses—with many of those expenses having to be paid for completely out-of-pocket. While a lot of the examples I used above were specific to the US healthcare system, I’m aware that it’s still similarly expensive to be disabled in other countries as well.

A lot of this wasn’t even taking into consideration the cost of more expensive medical equipment, like power chairs, as well as irregular medical costs that occur more frequently among disabled people—like surgeries, hospitalizations, and the cost of diagnostic testing (MRIs, X-Rays, bloodwork, etc.).

Disabled people are taken advantage of when it comes to the price of medical equipment and medications because we don’t have a choice if we want to live and/or have any quality of life. We pay it, or we suffer.

[doberbutts]

The real tragedy of lateral violence is we’re each other’s best advocates. Like I’m only mildly disabled but having to fight for basic accommodations has made me positively rabid about accessibility. Most people in my field don’t even use color blind safe palettes and meanwhile I’ve spent literal hours researching headings, alt text, ARIA tags, keyboard navigation, etc etc. Like I’m still learning to code and haven’t reached full WCAG compliance but at least I’m trying.

No that's it exactly.

It's only recently that my father has mobility needs- he's 70 so it was bound to happen eventually but he's also been deaf since he was 6. He can get in the door just fine but actually being able to use the services is another thing entirely. Then of course you add the intersection of him being a tall, broad black man with a big booming voice, no volume control, slurring and mispronouncing words, and unable/"unwilling" to follow commands and this goes from being inaccessible to outright hostile if he's mistaken for being drunk or high in public as a result of simply being deaf.

Now that he is getting older he also has had a double hip replacement and fell and broke the part of his pelvis that's still bone so he has a lot more trouble getting around. So take that description I just wrote and add "stumbling, halting, unnatural gait" and "sways in place when standing still".

We need to advocate for each other because at a moment's notice we can be in each other's shoes. We need to advocate for each other because for some of us this is life or death. We need to advocate for each other because we are always, always stronger together.

It's funny you should mention your field- I assume web/interface design/programming? That was my original career path before I switched tracks due to hating my clientele. Back in 2009 when I was still going to school for it, my professer was very strict about accessibility standards, requiring every single one of our projects to be up to the level suggested by W3C at the time. So in 2018 when the figurative whip was cracked and websites *had* to change, and all these companies whined and moaned about it, I had zero sympathy. Sorry but this had been suggested standard for nearly a decade so you can't say you didn't know your websites weren't accessible. There were even free engines you could run your source code through to make sure it would pass. Your website needs a complete overhaul and you're a company that's been around since at least 2009? Sounds like a you problem.

[littlespacereader]

My Trip to Walt Disney World’s Epcot as a Regressor✨🥰🪩 Part 1 (SFW!)

Here’s the First part of a thread talking about my day as a Regressor at Epcot! Below I’ll talk about the rides and the park’s layout!

See the thread below! 🧵⬇️

Disclaimer- No one in my life knows about my Regression so I couldn’t fully fully regress, you know. Didn’t stop me from slipping a few times. I mean Disney is made for the kid inside of all of us! Perfect place for a Regressor!😄

Click here for part 2 of my Epcot adventure (food, countries and shopping)😁🛍️⛩️🥨

First and foremost let’s talk about Florida right now (January)🌴

This is honestly the best time to be visiting Disney World/Florida! It’s the off season meaning while everyone is back to work or school after the holidays, the parks are very empty! This means lower wait times for ride and character meet and greets!

Weather wise is relatively nice! It’s not too hot (60-70s Fahrenheit) which is great weather for Florida which is usually in the high 90s. I wore a lightweight long sleeve and leggings and was comfortable all day! Just be sure to look out for random rainy days😬

Next let’s talk about the layout of Epcot!

Epcot is massive! It’s very long and has a lot of walking! For those of you who have issue with mobility this is something to keep in mind when you visit here. In total I walked over 8 miles🤯 and I felt it💀 My legs were killing me😭 The best thing to do is pace yourself. While my health issues aren’t with mobility I could feel myself starting to get dizzy and nauseous from walking so much. But then I took a moment and sat down and relaxed. Then I started to feel better.😌

Epcot is split into two different sections, The World Celebration & The World Showcase!

Let’s start with The World Celebration!

Rides in the World Celebration🏎️💨

The World Celebration is the place for rides!! While there are some amazing rides in the World Showcase, the World Celebration has the majority of Epcot’s rides. I’ll break the rides down based on headspace😁

For younger headspace Littles these are the rides for you:

Living with the Lands - a boat ride around Disney’s Greenhouse. Nice to sit back, relax and eat something while riding along. Also super interesting!

Journey into Imagination - I LOVE THIS RIDE!! AHHHH!! Super cute!!! This ride has me regressing like crazy! Now I’m a bit biased, I love the main character of this ride Figment🥰 Figment is this cute Dragon Dinosaur looking guy who’s super energetic about imagination! It’s a super inclusive and calm ride. You slowly ride around the imagination center and go through “test” to spark your imagination. I highly suggest this ride to everyone!

Spaceship Earth - This ride is IN THE EPCOT BALL🤯 Another cool ride talking about the evolution of humanity. It’s a slow sitting ride that you just sit back and enjoy!

Soarin - This ride is sooooooooo relaxing! You sit in a little hang-glider and fly around the world thanks to a projection screen! Super fun and in my opinion very relaxing!

The Seas with Nemo and friends - I sadly didn’t get to go on this ride so I can’t give an opinion on it. But it looks like fun from what I’ve seen online.

I would like to mention, the World Celebration has more thrill rides than easier rides. I would say the World Showcase has better rides for younger Regressor, for people who have issues with motion sickness or for people who just enjoy slower rides instead.

Now for my older Littles and thrill seekers:

While my headspace is on the younger side I have to admit…I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS/FAST RIDES

Test Track - One of the fastest rides in all of Disney World in Florida! This ride is so much fun! You’re essentially the test dummy for a new car, going through an obstacle course in your car and then you go on this long straightaway that reaches speeds of 65 mph!!

Guardians of the Galaxy Cosmic Rewind - As a huge marvel and rollercoaster fan this is a match made in heaven for me! The ride was so much fun! It does great fan service to any fan of the guardian. They have great twist with the preshow. Every ride has a different song! I got Blondie - One way or another, which was a great song for this type of rollercoaster! LET ME WARN YOU, this rollercoaster doesn’t just turn fast, go up and down, it spins a lot! If you are a person who get motion sickness from spinning this isn’t for you! But if you don’t mind it I highly recommend this ride. Below I have a photo of the lobby when you first enter (left photo) the spaceship outside the attraction(middle photo) and the loading area when you get on the ride (right photo)

Mission Space - Now this is where people who have been to Epcot might disagree with me. Honestly I’m not the biggest fan of mission space. The ride is a simulation ride that makes you feel like you’re being launched into space. The ride has two options, one that actually put g-forces on you to actually simulate the feeling and another that doesn’t. I haven’t been on the g-force one but my friend have and they got very sick from this ride. I went on the safe version and it’s honestly kind of boring. I would skip this.

Onto Epcot’s World Showcase⛩️

Epcot is primarily known for its 11 pavilions for countries around the world! This is where you spend most of your time walking around because this lake is HUGE.

The countries are: Mexico, Norway, China, Germany, Italy, America, Japan, France, United Kingdom and Canada.

Rides in the World Showcase🐀🧑‍🍳

Mexico’s Grand Fiesta Tour - This is a have to ride for all regressors, Caregivers and everyone in between! I really love this ride! It’s like it’s a small world but only for Mexico! It stars the three caballeros which includes Donald. It’s a boat ride tour of Mexico with Donald Duck’s antics! I took a video for you guys of the finale with the three caballeros! Enjoy!🥰💞

Norway’s Frozen Ever After - Another boat ride through Elsa’s ice palace! It’s really fun! It does backwards at one point! Super cool! And the special effects are out of this world!

France’s Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure - This ride is adorable!! You gotta try to get on this ride! As a huge fan of the movie I made it a point to go on this ride! You sit in a little mouse car. Everything is giant to simulate you as a rat yourself! It’s absolutely adorable and so much fun! More photos below!😄

Thank you for reading🥰! Click here for the second part! If you have any Epcot questions comment below!😄

In the second park I talk about the parks food, the shops and the overall experience! Plus more photos!

[anya-chalotra]

i finally secured a new job and started this past week, but it’s part-time compared to the full-time hours i was doing before, and while some income is obviously miles and heaps better than no income, it still feels very much like trying to regain footing on a slippery slope. my first full paycheck isn’t until the end of the month—which makes money way too tight to be comfortable, with so many expenses and so little breathing room. there’s rent for both the rest of this month (my landlady has been kind enough to accept it in weekly payments for the time being and that’s the only reason i’ve been able to afford it) and next month to worry about, not to mention the $100+ that just went to a few different bills. and with the random snows we’ve been getting in the middle of 70-degree weeks, i’m worried about rideshares for the days i can’t bike to and from work.

so i’m going to be offering commission work for just a bit longer on the side in the hopes of making some much-needed extra money. all prices and info are covered in the graphic, but just in case:

ICON PACKS STARTING AT $3 icons above were commissioned by the lovely joey (@nikolaislanstovs) and becca (@helloinej) + you can find some more examples of what i can make here

LAYOUTS/ICONS AND GIF HEADERS STARTING AT $6 here are two example headers that were commissioned by emily (@genyazafin) and makilah (@yennefer) + both my desktop and mobile headers were made by me as well

GIFSETS STARTING AT $10 here is a set i did for jagoda (@ughmerlin) + you can find more of my work here [limited to fandoms unless footage/scene packs can be provided, but anything within my scope of knowledge is welcome]

if you are interested in commissioning something, you can message me here or through tumblr’s IM system. OR if anyone is feeling generous or wants to help without going the commission route, here’s my ko-fi and my paypal. any reblogs would of course be a huge help as well. ♡

[yamaylander]

hey, it's me again! after a whole 2 days, i've finished redoing Nightmare. to be honest i didnt expect myself to work that fast but i guess i was THAT devoted to redoing her entire character. it's a really long file so it's obviously gonna be put under read more. there'll be a preview up until her profile below

special thanks to @cherry-blossomtea and another friend for helping me research DID as well as talking about their experiences with DID themselves. and obviously thanks @adorablegorilla for inspiring me to do this (although i did take a lot of liberties remaking Nightmare's character. found the evil alter thing distasteful)

of course, feedback is always appreciated so i know what parts work best and what areas i need to improve upon, especially in regards to DID as this is my first time engaging it. so do send if you have any!

without further ado, i present to you what i'm calling: Y5 Nightmare!

----- Nightmare, Medic Operators of Rhodes Island, will provide help no matter who’s currently in the moment. Who is it I’m talking to today?

Codename: Nightmare Class: Incantation Medic Real Name: Nyx Rebel Pasbelletti, Gloria Gender: Female [Both] Experience: 6 months [Nyx], 1 month [Gloria] Place of birth: Victoria Date of birth: June 1st [Nyx], March 12th [Gloria] Race: Feline Height: 156 cm Infection status: Visible internal blotches, infection confirmed

(file continued below)

Physical examination Strength: Normal Mobility: Standard Endurance: Normal Tactical acumen: Good [Nyx], Normal [Gloria] Combat Skill: Good [Nyx], Standard [Gloria] Arts adaptation: Excellent

Token: A glow-in-the-dark doll, handmade. Nyx said it’ll protect you from bad dreams.

Skills (Rank 7)

Soul Reflection - ATK increases by 70% and attacks two enemies at once, healing two allies in range; each attack binds enemies for 3 seconds

Phantasmagoria - Range expands and stops attacking; decreases movement speed of enemies by 60% and drains 20% of their health every second with Arts damage, while healing operators depending on how many enemies are currently in range

Talent Fronting - Healing effectiveness increased by 20% when equipped with skill 1; Obtains 18% ATK when equipped with skill 2

Profile Nyx is a Victorian operating under the codename Nightmare with her headmate, Gloria. Prior to their entry into Rhodes Island, Nyx was a college student who studied medical Arts. Gloria came later during her life due to an unspecified event* before her subsequent infection. They now currently work in Rhodes Island’s triage section, working to help patients as well as Operators in the battlefield.

*Gloria has asked to keep this event classified until both her and Nyx come to a consensus to speak about it.

Clinical Testing Imaging tests for this Operator showed a blurry outline of internal organs with visible unusual dark spots. Unusually high concentrations of Originium particles were present in her circulation, indicating signs of infection and confirming her as infected at this stage.

[Cell-Originium Assimilation] 16% Surveillance is recommended for rare cases like this.

[Blood Originium-Crystal Density] 0.33u/L Infection is in mid-stage and continues to spread. First-level medical plan recommended. Pathological Monitoring Protocol Label: Red (signed by Dr. Kal’tsit, see medical file for more detail).

Archive File 1 Operator Nightmare suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder. In rudimentary terms, DID is when a person suffers from having two or more personalities, also known as alters, in their consciousness. Currently, Nightmare has two headmates that are present, that being Nyx and Gloria, the latter of which tends to be fronting much of the time.

Gloria is known to be gentle, almost to a fault. She doesn’t strike anyone as the type who would go out in the battlefield, instead giving the impression that she would rather stay and help others in the infirmary. This view is only half the truth. While Gloria does indeed want to help others, she wishes to do so in a manner that both soothes and protects her fellow operators onboard. In the ship, she is often the one who consoles others during their time of need. This is especially true for those who are currently experiencing traumatic stress. Surprisingly Gloria seems to have a good handle on how to deal with such matters, to the point that she could very well apply to be a therapist. It’s even more surprising that Gloria chose to become a battlefield operator, though this is because by her and Nyx’s volition, they want to help people wherever they can.

On the subject of Nyx, who is the oldest alter before Gloria came to be, she appears to be far more reserved compared to the more sociable Gloria. She usually remains dormant for long periods of time, often letting Gloria front whenever possible. On the chance that Nyx is fronting however, she shows herself to be far quieter than Gloria is. When talking to others, she speaks in a hushed voice and is quick with her words. She also tends to be more upfront and honest, which has led to others conflicting with Nyx from time to time. From Gloria’s words however, this isn’t because Nyx chooses to be mean, this is only because Nyx isn’t sure how she can talk to others. 

Currently, Gloria is undergoing talks with Nyx in order to help her open up, but she also stresses that Nyx must be given time before she can properly do so. On that note, Operators should be mindful of who they are speaking to at the moment and that proper respect should be given to Nyx’s situation.

Archive File 2 Both Nyx and Gloria have an interest in medicine, psychology and Originium, a somewhat broader range of interest compared to others. Although Nyx was born in a Victorian city that focused on artistry, with her father working in the pottery business, Nyx opted to follow her mother’s footsteps, who worked at the local hospital.

Nyx has attended many classes regarding medicine and psychology, to the point that she often spent time reading up on the subject matters during her free time which has resulted in her stifled sociality. This may have also given way to her blunt nature, as Gloria admitted that Nyx often got into trouble by her own volition simply because she was honest in a manner that hurt others. Nyx doesn’t seem to understand why this is but seeing as this was the consequence of her honesty, she wishes to learn how she can avoid hurting others in the future.

Her interest in Originium came about after Gloria had manifested. Both have been seen attending classes and reading up on Originium and its effects in Rhodes Island. As Gloria stated, “We want to know about Originium simply because we don’t want others to suffer because of it, as well as helping others become safer around it”. To say that Nyx and Gloria are determined to work hard and help others is an understatement.

On the subject of medicine and psychology, it seems the interests somewhat split with Nyx leaning more into studying psychology and Gloria studying medicine more often. Nyx appears to be up to speed on most mental disorders and knows how to deal with them in their proper manner while Gloria’s knowledge on medicine allows her to work in Rhodes Island’s infirmaries without trouble, assisting the doctors if she is available. Their efforts in both departments are commendable and their knowledge will prove fruitful to Rhodes Island’s advances in care.

Archive File 3 For someone so young, Nyx shows a surprising aptitude for battle. Although Gloria has only had one month of combat experience and has focused mostly on first aid, Nyx seems to have the battlefield almost under her control. This is attributed to her Arts unit, which was discovered to have two functions based on whoever is currently fronting at the moment.

When Gloria is fronting, the Arts unit becomes more effective at healing operators on the field, targeting multiple people at once. The healing Arts is immensely effective, allowing operators to stand longer and keep fighting. It also has the effect of making our operators feel more alert and thus more vigilant during their battles, increasing their performance in combat.

On the other hand, when Nyx is fronting the Arts unit becomes focused on keeping enemies back. When used on enemies, it puts them into a dreamlike state where their consciousness appears to dissociate from the current reality. This often causes them to give up fighting in bizarre ways, the most common of which involves them dropping their weapons and staring up at the sky, with some of them slowly wandering the area aimlessly. Why this happens is currently unknown, as Nyx refuses to divulge for the time being. Many operators who have been in field missions with Nyx have said it to be unnerving, unsure what to think when they see the people they were fighting with “suddenly fall asleep while awake”.

One notable incident happened during one of Nightmare’s field missions with Nyx fronting. While fighting a particularly dangerous enemy, she wound up forcing them into a REM state. This resulted in the enemy panicking as though experiencing vivid nightmares, constantly screaming for nonexistent entities to stop while begging for their life to be spared. It was only when they were knocked out that they ceased their panic. After this, Nyx was told not to do this again although it doesn’t seem like she was particularly affected by this event.

Archive File 4 After a long time, Nyx and Gloria eventually agreed to share how they came to be. Upon their request, this file should also be kept secret from the general staff of Rhodes Island.

While walking back home from college to visit her parents, she decided to take a quick shortcut through one of Londinium’s districts to head there faster. However, she wound up getting caught in the middle of the Kazdel-Victoria crisis where the district she was in ended up getting caught in the middle of the artillery barrages. With nowhere else to go, Nyx was forced to run aimlessly through Londinium in an attempt to get away from the situation. Although mostly successful, the event left her deeply traumatized. In the state the district was in, she had to fend for herself no matter what.

The next few days were described to be a living nightmare. She ran afoul with some of the district’s residents whose rationales were gradually deteriorating. Nyx wasn’t an exception as she also began to steal from others whenever she could just so she could make it to another day, even going as far as to attack others who attempted to steal from her. This all eventually culminated into her breakdown when one night, while hiding away in a shelter, someone had broken into it and attempted to steal her supplies. When Nyx tried to fight back, the attacker was far more aggressive than she thought and nearly killed her. Out of desperation, Nyx casted her Arts onto her attacker. Rather than putting them to sleep however, the blast was powerful enough to not only put her attacker to near death but also caused him to experience live nightmares. The end result was that the attacker was left screaming for help for the next few seconds before finally perishing.

Horrified by her actions, her stress finally broke her down. She underwent a severe mental and emotional breakdown before her mind eventually “quarantined” the stressor. For the next few minutes, Nyx had no success of calming down until she suddenly heard Gloria’s voice, who immediately began to reassure her and that everything will eventually be alright. After that, Gloria was able to help Nyx through the crisis however she could, right up until they joined Rhodes Island when they entered one of our buildings in Victoria.

The event has changed Nyx forever and it is certainly not something she’ll easily forget, but she is forever grateful that Gloria was born during her greatest time of need.

Promotional Record Prior to them joining Rhodes Island, whenever Nyx and Gloria switched they often forgot about their alter’s activities during their time fronting. Gloria was the first to notice this problem when she spoke to Nyx during their time in Victoria, after hearing the latter ask what Gloria did. With this problem in mind, Gloria had the idea of using a journal she found to document both her and Nyx’s activities so that until they find proper shelter, their alter can remember what the other did so that they are aware of what happened.

To this day, Nyx and Gloria have been continuously communicating to each other about their activities this way but after their therapy sessions, have also been figuring out alternative ways to break down their amnesiac barriers. This led to them creating a headspace of their own, which Gloria described to be a small bedroom in the middle of the night, with a nightlight on at all times. According to Gloria, this is what they find most comforting.

Dialogue Normal text is Gloria speaking, italics is Nyx speaking.

Appointed as Assistant - Oh, it’s really bright in here… Doctor, do you mind if you turn down the lights a bit?

Talk 1 - When we got into Rhodes Island, we weren’t sure what we were expecting… including the kindness that everyone was expressing! It’ll take a bit for Nyx to get used to, but I think she’ll also do just fine here!

Talk 2 - Our staff was given to us by Nyx’s dad. It has the power to sorta put people to sleep but to be honest, using the staff isn’t really a wise choice if we actually want to sleep…

Talk 3 - When I’m alone and Nyx is awake, we talk to each other. The same goes for Nyx too. Hm? Do people think it’s weird? I don’t think Nyx would care, as long as she has someone to talk to… and, well, she’s right for it.

Talk after Promotion 1 - There wasn’t a moment where I could get a good night’s rest back in Victoria… but when Gloria came along, I was finally able to rest. But… I do feel bad for making her go through those horrors. She’s a really brave person.

Talk after Promotion 2 - Oh, what’s that? Our Oripathy is worsening? Yes, that’s been a really big concern of ours… but we’re sure that Rhodes Island can do something. Right Nyx? … mhm.

Trust Talk 1 - Erm, let me apologize on Nyx’s behalf! She really didn’t mean to start that fight in the hallway, I promise! It’s just been a while since she properly talked to someone so her social skills are a bit rusty… but I promise, I’ll help her learn how to socialize better. Just please be patient with her?

Trust Talk 2 - If I’m allowed to be a little morbid here… you’re essentially the leader of Rhodes Island, right? If you die out there, I’d imagine that your operators… your friends, they wouldn’t take it well. Well, that’s why we’re here! We’ll protect you, and everyone, from the threats outside. That much we can promise.

Trust Talk 3 - You get tired from time to time, right? With that pile of work, surely you do lose a lot of sleep doing it… well, what if I have a solution to that? I can always just make you sleep for a day or two. All you have to do is say the word… and I’ll come right along with what you need… haha, just kidding. Too scary?

Idle - … sweet dreams.

Onboard - Ah, hello! I’m Gloria, but you’ve already seen our resume right? My headmate’s name is Nyx! Oh, but give her some time, she’s not used to talking to people yet… codename? Hmmm… well, I think Nyx would want something intimidating like Nightmare but… w-wait, you’re already registering it?! H-Hold on!

Watching Battle Record - So this is how you get stronger…? Intriguing…

Promotion 1 - When we came here, we thought we’d simply be patients getting treatment… but we’d never imagined that we’d be so much more…!

Promotion 2 - It feels like I’m not qualified for this promotion at all… but since Gloria insists, I’ll take it too. I’m just lucky to be alive at this point. So, whatever you need us to do, we’ll do it.

Appointed to Squad (S1) - Mhm, got it. Appointed to Squad (S2) - I’ll do my best.

Appointed as Squad Leader (S1) - W-Wait, can I really do this alone? Appointed as Squad Leader (S2) - You won’t be alone.

Depart (S1) - We’ll get a good night’s sleep after this, right…? Depart (S2) - Curious… what kind of things will you pull off?

Begin Operation (S1) - I see them… over the horizon… Begin Operation (S2) - So, these are the enemies we’re facing…

Selecting 1 (S1) - Are our supplies safe? Selecting 1 (S2) - I’ll keep them safe.

Selecting 2 (S1) - I’m ready to fight! Selecting 2 (S2) - Be sure you won’t regret this.

Deployment 1 (S1) - So this… is our battlefield… Deployment 1 (S2) - I see no difference in battlefield.

Deployment 2 (S1) - I’ve only fought a few times, please bear with me… Deployment 2 (S2) - It’s been a while since I’ve been somewhere like this.

In Battle 1 (S1) - Don’t get too rash now! In Battle 1 (S2) - I’m only getting serious.

In Battle 2 (S1) - Keep yourselves calm! In Battle 2 (S2) - Relax. You'll only be sleeping for a few seconds.

In Battle 3 (S1) - Have a nice rest! In Battle 3 (S2) - Sweet dreams.

In Battle 4 (S1) - We’re still advancing? O-Okay! In Battle 4 (S2) - Don’t waste our time.

4-Star (S1) - D-Doctor… did we just… do something incredible? 4-Star (S2) - So this is what total victory feels like…

3-Star (S1) - And that’s that! Good work everyone! 3-Star (S2) - It ends here. Well done.

2-Star (S1) - Ahhh, is anyone hurt?! I’ll be right there! 2-Star (S2) - We’ve won… but it’s costly. I’ll go clean up the mess.

Failure (S1) - Are you hurt?! W-We need to run, now! Failure (S2) - This… can’t be happening…

Assigned to Facility - Where should we sit…

Tap - Ah-! Oi.

Trust Tap - Oh, hello! Hi.

Greeting - Good morning, Doctor! Are you well rested?

Title - Akunaitsu.

[ilayas11]

How to Make Armor Stats Work for YOU in Lightfall

If you are a new, returning or just really confused player this guide is for you!  Destiny has made a lot of changes to the armor/stat systems and my previous guide (which a number of you are still faving) is horrifically out of date.  What hasn't changed is Bungie doing a poor job explaining things to new players. So let this tumblr guide (yes tumblr your number one source of video game theory crafting) help you better understand this system.

Sats, what do they do and how do they work?

Destiny has 6 armor stats that can be divided into 2 categories lets call them class stats and ability stats.

Before we get into what you should be prioritizing there are some important things we need to go over.

First Important Thing The game only cares about increases of 10. For example there will be no improvement from increasing a stat from 30 to 38 but there is for raising it to 40.  Any stats over 100 are ignored and offer no additional benefit.

Second Important Thing Class stats do not have diminishing returns and actually see an improvement at higher levels. Ability stats start getting diminishing returns after 70.

Third Important Thing The first armor mod slot is for stat mods. Here's a screen shot I put text over because this guide didn’t have enough pictures.

___________________________________________________________

PVE Stats

As of the writing of this guide the number one stat that everyone should be prioritizing regardless of class, subclass, and build is Resilience. You wanna know how that rank whatever absolute Chad of a guardian is blowing through your strike/battle ground and not dying while you are getting shredded? They have 100 resilience. With 100 resilience YOU could be that guardian.

OK what about all the other stats? The advice I give here is going VERY generalized and not build specific so keep that in mind.

Hunters Hunters are in a weird spot. The class is designed around using your dodge and would indicate you want to stack mobility. But mobility, as it stands, has less utility outside of the doge cool down than recovery and resilience. So ultimately it comes down to a matter of play style. If you are a hunter that uses your dodge a lot get at lest 80 mobility. If you are a hunter that does not play around their dodge then aim for 80 recovery.  

Warlocks If you can get 100 recovery to go with your 100 resilience great!  This is something worth aspiring to but for those of you just starting out aim for 80 Recovery.  Rift is powerful, you want it as often as possible and the increased health re-gen is useful even when you aren't using your rift. The only time I care about mobility on a warlock is for jumping puzzles. Particularly the ones that require you to jump high. Cus.. sigh... warlock jump is a cruel mistress some times (personal experience but 50 mobility is all you need to get past most puzzles). You can use mods to temporary boost your mobility so ideally your armor should have as little mobility on it as possible.

Titans Resilience is your class stat congrats!  High fives all around! (Or fist punches I don't know what you guys do I'm a warlock main.)   Recovery is a great stat that works both in pve and pvp. If you want to get the most out recovery get at lest 80.  100 recovery is great but don't stress if you can't make it work.  Mobility actively makes some Titian abilities/exotics worst. Avoid this stat unless you having issues with a jumping puzzle.

So about those Ability stats........ As this is a generalized guide an not a super specific build guide I'm going to recommend prioritizing Discipline over Strength and Intelligence. Grenades are just too good right now. Aim for at lest 70. After that it’s kind of up to you and your play style as to if you want to stack intelligence or strength.

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PvP Stats

Full disclosure, I'm a pve main and I suck at pvp. I am however friends with a few rather good pvp players so much of this information comes from them.

If you are terrible at pvp (like me) then this is your stat priority:

100 Resilience

80 Class Stat/Recovery  

80 Discipline.

This allows your good pvp friends to use you as “bait” without getting one shot.

If you are good at pvp specifically if you have good enough positioning that you avoid getting hit often resilience becomes less useful. Titans still should go for 100 resilience as it is their class stat, non titans are good at 30 and instead should stack both recovery and discipline/their class stat.  

Intelligence is far more useful in pvp than pve. It really shines in game modes like Trials of Osiris as passive re-gen is going to be how you get the majority of your super charge making it more useful than strength. ___________________________________________________________

How Stat Distribution Works

This is an entry level guide and I don't want to have to break out spreadsheets so I'm going to tell you some things that are not entirely true to keep it simple. Class and ability stats have separate stat pools and to get double 100's in class stats you will need to use armor mods and stat boosting subclass fragments.

Please enjoy this Actinium War Rig I own which is one several exotics that breaks the rules and shits over damn near everything I just said.

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How to Get the Good Armor

This where I tell you how to farm up your high stat perfectly allocated armor. And when I figure out how to do that I'll let you know. Until then you can go to your ghost shell and slot a stat mod in the 3rd slot. This will guarantee that whatever armor that drops with random rolls will have at lest 10 of that stat.  Do note that this will be canceled out by any other effects influencing armor stats if they are in the same stat pool (unless stated otherwise). So if you are doing an activity that rewards high Strength armor and you have a Resilience mod in your ghost you are fine. But if you had a Discipline mod in they would cancel each other out.

All right you've got your ghost modded in and you are ready to start farming them high stat armor pieces. What you want to look for is activities that have Tier 2 or above powerful and pinnacles as rewards.  Dungeons, Raids, Iron Banner and Trials also reward high stat gear. In addition to those look for any engram focusing that specifically says it rewards high stat armor.  It's important to take a moment to note that Bungie considers anything  55+ to be “high stat” (which is bullshit) the community (and myself) consider 60+ to be “high stat”. So keep your expectations measured.   

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What to Masterwork and What to Delete

I like itemized lists so get ready for some bullet points:

Master working armor not only opens up all the energy slots but also gives you +2 for each stat (even class items).

The first thing you should master work is a class item.

Ability stats are in a different stat pool than class stats so you should ideally be able to reach your desired target using little to no mods. This frees you up to use those mods for class stats.

Some sub class fragments can raise and lower your stats.

Just because something has a lot of stats doesn't mean it has the stats you want.  

While more stats does not always equal better stats do not bother master working any armor below 60 stats. Trust me when I say you will get something better.

When deciding what to masterwork I find it's best to plan around an exotic armor piece and subclass you want to use. Exotic armor is kind of a pain to farm for so it's best to build around it. Now you can absolutely sit down sort through your vault and do the basic math necessary to determine what you want to masterwork.... OR you could let D2Armorpicker.com do all that for you.

Just link your Destiny account (don't worry this is secure) and enter in the stats you want, what exotic armor you are using and your subclass. It will search your inventory and give you all the possible armor combinations that achieve that. For best results scroll down to advance settings and check assume all legendary exotic and class items are masterworked.  If you see any pieces of armor that come up frequently when look at different builds those are the ones you probably want to focus on masterworking first. Depending on what the stats look like on the exotics you are using there is a good chance you will need several master worked items in each armor slot to consistently hit your desired stat targets.

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What About that Artifice Armor I've Been Hearing so Much About?

Artifice armor has an extra mod slot which can be used to increase any stat of your choosing for +3 at no additional energy cost. Which is insanely useful. Now before you get excited know that at the time of this guide Artifice armor ONLY drops from master dungeons. This is not an entry level activity nor is it solo friendly. Before you decide to attempt a master dungeon have a solid set of armor ready to go and clear the dungeon on normal mode at least once.

Hey look another bullet point list!

There are currently 3 dungeons that have a master version in the game: Grasp of Avarice, Duality and Spire of the Watcher

Shattered Throne, Prophecy and Pit of Heresy do not have master versions.

There will be a new dungeon added in season 21 (Season of the Deep) and another one added in season 23. They will have master versions.

The last boss in a master dungeon has a chance to drop high stat armor in every slot.

The newest dungeon can be farmed (you can run it multiple times and still get drops)

Older dungeons will only drop gear once per character per week. UNLESS it is the featured dungeon. Featured dungeons can be farmed and change weekly on a set rotation.

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Closing Thoughts

I made this guide because I enjoy playing Destiny 2 and I want others to enjoy it as well.  Being frustrated because you don't understand game systems is not enjoyable. Hopefully this guide helps you murder hobo your way through the enemies of humanity a bit better than before.  

That all said I really want to stress, particularly to new players, that you don’t need a perfect set of armor (artifice or otherwise) to play this game. Getting that perfect set (or as the case may be multiple sets) of armor is something worth aspiring to not something worth stressing out about.

I use glaives because they are fun, the meta be damned!

If you have any questions or corrections feel free to ask! There was a mountain of additional info that I wanted to include but this guide was already too damn long.

-Ilayas

[talokanda-forever]

THESE THOUGHTS HAVE BEEN PERCOLATING FOR A WHILE

This is a long one. My hope is to eventually distill this into a TikTok edit, but keeping things short and sweet is not my strong suit—obviously. But I also may not ultimately have the time. 😬 I must thank @cutelatinagirl for her recent “deep dive” posts. The way you’ve formatted them helped me gather my thoughts for this one.

When viewing the attacks and accusations made against Tenoch over the past few months ONLY within the context of his vocation as an actor, it doesn’t make much sense. It is illogical for the powers that be, with virtually unlimited influence and resources, to take time to not only insult him but degrade and dehumanize him on various social media platforms. He is an actor. Tenoch himself has stated he has no political power. He does not come from an influential family with a lot of money. And I know some tend to think because someone is an actor they must be ‘rich.’ I obviously have no visibility to Tenoch’s finances, but I’m going to hazard a guess that he doesn’t have a vault filled with gold coins that he swims in from time to time like Scrooge McDuck.

However, when viewing this coordinated smear campaign in the context of Tenoch’s social activism, it should not be surprising. Unfortunately, it should have been expected. We have seen this before in the US—most notably during the civil rights movement of the 60s and 70s.

I have often mused at how the conditions Tenoch so vividly conveys about racism/classism/colorism in Mexico seem to align with where we were in the US 60+ years ago. It is evident to me that he has actually studied our civil rights movement. Unlike today’s white-supremacy-denying politicians in the US who can only quote a couple of lines of Martin Luther King’s I Have a Dream speech as evidence that he would not have agreed with the Black Lives Matter movement (GTFOH).

Revisionist historians would have us think MLK was a universally beloved figure while he was still alive. That could not be further from the truth. You’d think his assassination would be enough evidence to the contrary, but nah. So how do mischaracterizations of history such as this get a foothold? Because those in control of the narrative decide what information is shared with the masses, and what remains obscured— and they do so BY DESIGN. Sounds an awful lot like what’s happening with Tenoch.

What is not widely disseminated is that the FBI took an active role in discrediting civil rights leaders in order to silence their voices and prevent their messages from mobilizing the masses.

The screenshot below was pulled from the ACLU website at this link:

I highlighted those portions that seem to apply most to what Tenoch is experiencing. Although the breaking up marriages bit doesn’t fully apply since he’s been divorced for some time, the accusations that have been made could very well have an impact on any current or future relationships. And don’t come at me with, “Well, these tactics were used in the US years ago and has nothing to do with Mexico in 2023.” This is more about human nature. The objective of the FBI is no different than the objective of a piece of shit billionaire media mogul. RETENTION OF POWER. The goal of employing such dirty tricks to take out those who are a threat is not restricted by an artificial, man-made border. And guess what? The FBI and CIA have had a presence throughout Latin America longer than most of our parents and grandparents have been alive, so don’t think their dirty tricks weren’t passed along to those nations. They have been in practice ever since. The people in power today are the offspring of those who were in power yesterday, whether by blood or in spirit.

COINTELPRO involved not only wiretapping, but as the investigation showed, attempts to disrupt, discredit, and defame perceived political radicals. Hoover targeted few figures as relentlessly as Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. (There is a similar fixation on Tenoch) The charge, Communist influence in the civil rights movement. FBI Director, Hoover:

Below is an excerpt of a transcript found on the NPR’s website about some of the activities by COINTELPRO specific to MLK. The full transcript can be found here:

(Soundbite of 1970s report)

Mr. J. EDGAR HOOVER (Former FBI Director): The Communist Party of America is doing everything in its power to steal the minds and the souls and the hearts of our young people. (Tenoch is constantly aiming in message to youth because the power to change the future lies with them)

CHIDEYA: In August of 1963, Reverend King gathered more than a quarter of a million Americans on the Mall in Washington to champion Civil Rights.

(Soundbite of 1970s report)

Rev. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. (Civil Rights leader): Free at last, free at last. Thank God, Almighty, we're free at last.

CHIDEYA: That march spurred Hoover to action. A little more than a month later, the FBI Director petitioned the Attorney General, then Robert F. Kennedy, to approve a wiretap on King's telephone. (High profile appearances by Tenoch are soon followed up with coordinated online attacks—see more on that below) Kennedy only agreed, according to his attorney Nicholas Katzenbach, in order to protect King.

(Soundbite of 1970s report)

Mr. NICHOLAS KATZENBACH (speaking as Robert F. Kennedy's attorney): He did not let Hoover tap King's wire. That would be used, really, as almost proof that King was being influenced by Communism. Bobby thought that if he tapped it he would find out that you were not.

CHIDEYA: And in fact, Kennedy was right. The Church Commission found that the wiretap showed that Dr. King did not support Communism. (Fabricated charges with no independently corroborated evidence) And that his two associates who may have been allied with the Communist party didn't influence King's views or his organization. (Associates (PP) are the offenders but Tenoch constantly gets pulled in by association and because of his visibility) But documents suggest that Hoover's campaign against King was as much personal as political. (Fixated on Tenoch like they’re chasing a white whale) And the rift between the two men deepened in 1964.

Although what’s going on with Tenoch shouldn’t be surprising, it doesn’t make it any less irrational. Why? Because it is rooted in FEAR of losing power. Actions rooted in fear many times don’t make sense on the surface. Those who have gained power through the covert and overt subjugation of marginalized communities must also find ways to maintain that power. Remember, those who owned plantations were outnumbered by the men and women they enslaved. But there was a SYSTEM in place that kept them terrorized, disoriented, and disorganized.

Tenoch is stirring the masses and he is doing so on an international level where Mexico’s cultural elites CANNOT CONTROL THE NARRATIVE.

As some have pointed out, like @cutelatinagirl in the Tweet below, the timing can’t be ignored. Neither can the reach of his message. Releasing statements on certain platforms only in English (MER’s response to Tenoch’s only public statement) and constantly @ing Disney speak to why they are so desperate to slander Tenoch in such a public manner. Truth and facts be damned. It doesn’t matter that they have no proof. They are willing to take the risk as long as they are successful in their primary objective of taking him down.

Also, let’s not forget about this year’s Festival Prieto. I recall comments linking Tenoch’s statements about Jesus being black with how Messiah-like he looked in the footage of him walking through the crowd to get to the stage (see the video below from a post by @luzsp9-1981 ). I tried to find the exact comment but couldn’t so I’m paraphrasing. For those of us who aren’t triggered by seeing Tenoch adored by fans—many of whom are part of marginalized communities—it was taken as a lighthearted comment. I audibly giggled. However, when someone has a fear of their power being challenged, or worse yet diminished or stripped, these same images become concerning and are no laughing matter in their eyes. And there is no question his activities and online responses are being monitored. Tenoch appeared at Festival Prieto on May 25th. MER shat her half-baked Tweet on June 9th. More than enough time to coordinate a new phase of the attack.

I know we are a generation that prides itself on being well-informed and media savvy. You can’t hoodwink and bamboozle us like our unfortunate predecessors who didn’t have a world of information at their fingertips in the form of smartphones, tablets, and wearables. No siree! However, bullshit wrapped in slick packaging, designed to look like what we perceive as credible information, is still just bullshit. We have ALL been duped at some point. It is exhausting at times to dig deeper and to NOT stifle our curiosity. But we have got to stop acting like asking questions when you don’t fully understand something is a character flaw. Or that remaining neutral when a SA accusation has been revealed BY CHOICE in a PUBLIC FORUM somehow demonstrates you are a heartless bastard/bitch who denies assaults ever happen at all. Sorry, but I’m not casting aside my critical thinking skills just so Tumblrland, Instaville, and the Twitterverse might recognize me as a caring human being for the millisecond that my post/reel/Tweet is retained by the reader.

@cutelatinagirl @cantstayawaycani @observers-journal @sarahivi @luzsp9-1981 @aolechan @oakzap425 @love-too-believe @soledadmiranda @venting402 @v4mpires0ap

[android-and-ale]

AU Where Spock Lives Out Both Sides of a May/December Romance

I had an angsty A.U. idea drop into my head where Spock gets to be on both ends of two different May/December romances. Since I am all about lighthearted shenanigans right now, I’m putting it out there for anyone else to use, in whole or any bits and pieces you like. 

TL;DR - The timeline here has changed so Pike and Kirk are separated by 50 years. 

Spock meets Pike when Spock is in his late 20’s and Pike is in his 50’s. They end up together for the rest of Pike’s life. 

After Pike’s death, Spock is only in his late 70’s, which is still younger than Sarek was when he married Amanda. He goes back to the last place he felt belonging and contentment before he met Pike, which, of course, is Starfleet. Within a few years, he’s risen in the ranks to become the Chief Science Officer of the flagship, the Enterprise. A brash young Captain takes over. Kirk is 50 years his junior, not to mention his CAPTAIN, but despite his best efforts to resist, there’s a spark between them. 

THE ANGSTY DETAILS:

The biggest difference here is Pike and Kirk’s personal timelines. Instead of their service overlapping, they’re decades apart. 

Spock meets Pike fresh out of the academy and there is an instant mutual attraction. Since he’s not a predator, Pike decides OH HELL NO, this kid is way too young for me. Meanwhile, Baby!Spock has just ended things with T’Pring and is entering his Slut Era. Pike resists Spock’s charms for a couple of years, but during an away mission gone wrong when they both think they’re going to die in the next hour, they end up furiously making out and giving each other handjobs. 

When they’re rescued Pike says listen, kid, that can’t happen again. Spock is prepared for this. He makes a PowerPoint outlining why this relationship is logical. They’re intensely compatible, mutually attracted, and frankly, their lives will only overlap for a maximum of five years. After all, they both know Spock is on a fast track to being promoted to X.O. of a science vessel, and later his own command. Let us acknowledge the fleeting nature of time by embracing this all too brief opportunity to be mutually beneficial to one another. 

Pike tells himself he’s going to hell for this - a lot - but gives in. 

Over the next decade, Spock does get promoted up to Chief Science Officer, and eventually also steps in as X.O. when Pike’s Number One is offered her own command. Starfleet repeatedly tries to give Spock his own ship, but he’s happy where he is, at his Captain’s side. Life is good. 

And then Pike’s accident happens. 

Starfleet Medical says it’s bad. Really bad. There’s no brain damage, but his body is a ruin. He’s going to spend the rest of his life essentially with locked-in syndrome, only able to communicate with the outside world in a very slow binary. 

Spock calls bullshit. Instead of taking Pike to Talos IV like he did in The Menagerie, he contacts Una and asks for the biggest favor of his life. Transport both of them to Illyria and put him in touch with people who can use their genetic engineering technology to help Pike. 

Una says she’s so glad he called, because if he hadn’t, she was planning to kidnap Pike herself for that very same reason. As soon as they touch down on Illyria, Spock resigns his commission so he can be there for Pike. 

Pike spends the next two years on Illyria getting treatments and therapies. Eventually, they’re able to restore his hearing to 70% of what it was, his vision to about 20/80 (so now he wears sexy glasses), his VOICE, and a limited amount of his mobility. He’s still disabled, but he has autonomy again. He’s able to get himself in and out of his wheelchair, and even take a few steps when absolutely necessary, but he’s never going to walk unaided. He needs at least 10 hours of sleep a night to be fully functional, but when he’s awake, his mind is as sparkling as ever. 

Because of the differences in how much sleep they need, Spock ends up living two lives. When Pike is awake, he’s the center of Spock’s world. When he’s not, Spock maintains a thriving part-time career in the sciences. As far as he’s concerned, this is a very satisfying have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too compromise. 

Pike tries to tell Spock to go back to Starfleet. Pursue his own command. Stop wasting his time with a disabled old man. Spock tells him sorry, it’s too late for that. I told Starfleet we were married in order to get access to your hospital room, and Una backed me up. I meant to tell you, but we’ve been busy, you know, kidnapping you then performing illegal medical aid. According to Starfleet paperwork, we’ve been married for the last 3 years. Our anniversary is in March, and Una will be throwing us a party. Do you really think I would break Starfleet’s (very human-history-centric) laws and bring you here in the first place just to abandon you?

Because of Starfleet’s draconian anti-genetic-engineering laws, Pike essentially loses most of his citizenship rights. He and Spock give zero shits. Sarek steps in and says hey, your husband has a lot of diplomatic experience, having been Captain of the Flagship, and you Spock grew up in my shadow. Let me set the two of you up in a new career. Spock and Pike become a well trusted power couple, frequently sought out by anyone needing fair and impartial diplomats. 

They stay together for the rest of Pike’s life. 

And then, in the worst year of Spock’s life, within three months he loses both his human husband and his human mother. 

He knew this would happen. Human lifespans are so much shorter than Vulcan ones. On top of that, Pike was well into middle age when they met. That doesn’t make it any less devastating. 

He’s only in his 70’s, which for Vulcans is pretty young. Sarek didn’t marry Amanda until his 80’s, and it’s not uncommon for Vulcans to put off starting a family until they’re over 100. Everyone he meets tells him he’s young enough to start his whole life over, and he wants to punch them all. 

The only person who understands is his father. 

Both he and Sarek are devastated. They lean on one another in their grief. After a year, Sarek asks Spock what was his last happy/contented memory before he met Pike. Spock tries to deny it, but when he’s finally able to be honest with himself, the answer is Starfleet. He spent years there before he met Pike, and was well on his way to what everyone expected to be an illustrious career. Sarek says perhaps you should go back there? It’ll be different than it was decades ago, but that too is a good thing. 

Una’s still around. Illyrians have longer lifespans than humans, though shorter than Vulcans. When he asks her advice she says if he didn’t bring Starfleet up soon she would’ve. She’s already reached out to her many contacts in the fleet about putting together an unofficial refresher course so Spock won’t have to go through the academy again.

He buries himself in taking virtual, updated versions of academy classes, and uses his diplomatic assignments on a variety of ships as an excuse to get a real world refresher in modern ship design and culture. When he’s satisfied, he gathers his new transcripts and references and sets up a meeting with an admiral (because he’s the kind of diplomat who can casually do that). They agree to put him on a smaller vessel to get his feet wet again, but with full understanding that he will absolutely be able to rise quickly in the ranks if Starfleet is still a good fit for him.

He spends a year on a science vessel, then a year on an exploration vessel, then is offered the position of Chief Science Officer of the Enterprise - the very post he left when Pike was injured all those years ago. Yes, Sarek and Una are absolutely pulling some strings in the background, but Spock rises to the occasion. 

He’s missed this more than he would admit to himself while Pike was still alive. His duties bring him contentment and peace - but also excitement and adventure. He has no regrets about the decades he spent with Pike, but now his One True Love is space. 

A few years into his service on the Enterprise, the ship gets a brash new captain - James T. Kirk. And god dammit, there’s a spark. Kirk likes what he sees, and flirts mercilessly. Spock tries to tell himself he’s not into it, but deep down, he isn’t sure how long he’ll be able to resist. 

At this point, Spock is 50 years Kirk’s senior. He desperately wishes he could talk to Pike again. Pike would laugh his ass off at Spock getting his comeuppance. Now you know how it felt, all those years ago, when you were a tasty morsel who wouldn’t take no for an answer! On nights when the chess games with Kirk feel a little too intimate, he listens to Pike’s Captain’s Logs from the years when he was resisting Spock’s advances. This mirroring of their lives makes him feel closer to his dead husband. 

Spock gets the biggest shock of his life when his father announces he’s not only remarrying, but taking another human wife. 

Spock rages at him. How can you do this to yourself AGAIN? 

Sarek points out that first, the very few Vulcan widows his age do not want him. Second, he’s used to having a human around. And third, at his age, he and his wife will actually grow old together. Their estimated remaining lifespans are within a decade of one another.

He reassures Spock that yes, he would’ve preferred to grow old with Amanda, but he always knew that their lives together would be cut short. Being with her as long as he could was still worth it. Then he tells Spock not to let the pain of his loss prevent him from seeking out future happiness. That’s not what Pike would’ve wanted. Or Amanda. 

Sarek has seen Spock and Kirk together on assignment, and he knows a lot of Spock’s anger is because he’s repressing his own feelings. He points out that with modern medical technology, if Kirk can avoid getting himself killed in the line of duty, he could realistically expect to live another 70+ years. It’s not a perfect alignment with Spock’s aging trajectory, but they could reasonably expect to be middle aged together for decades. 

Spock says there is no damn way he’s getting involved with another human. The heartbreak isn’t worth it. He’d rather spend the rest of his life dedicated to science. He’s had his Romance Era and now that part of his life is over. 

Until one day, he and Kirk are on an away mission gone wrong. They’re trapped in a cave, and realistically believe that they have less than 4 hours left to live. Kirk says hey, we’re going to die, we should give in to this UST. Spock protests he’s too old for Kirk. Kirk laughs and says they’re both going to be dead in four hours, so who cares? Let’s live a little before we die. 

Spock remembers being the one who said the same thing to Pike. He’s hit with an overwhelming sense of deja vu as he gives in and lets Jim kiss him for the first time. He’s terrified of opening his heart again, but when Jim says his name like a prayer, he thinks yes, I could do this for the next 70 years. It’ll be worth it. He kisses Jim back, and in that moment it feels both like coming home and the start of something new. Losing this man will break him, but not as badly as turning away from a lifetime of love.