#‘can you please reign in your boyfriend’

[jameswilsonsupremacy]

whenever the ducklings start to get Too Worried about House’s Antics™️, they just casually report to Wilson. then Wilson soft-doms House into not being an idiot.

[theposhperyton]

What do you think would've happened if Asha just. Went for the other Marama. What ripple effects would it have throughout the larger narrative

[pucksandpower]

Blackmail Material

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: you love your boyfriend more than life itself but who can blame you for keeping a folder of all the blackmail material he has given you over the years … just in case

You hear a bloodcurdling scream from the other room. “Y/N! Come quick!” Charles yells.

You rush over to find him standing on top of the couch, a look of sheer terror on his face. “What’s wrong?” You ask.

He points a shaky finger at the floor. “Sp-spider!”

You look down to see a tiny little spider no bigger than a blueberry crawling across the hardwood. You have to stop yourself from laughing at the sight of your brave Formula 1 driver boyfriend absolutely losing it over this tiny critter.

“Really? That’s what all the fuss is about?” You don’t bother to keep the amusement out of your voice.

“Don’t laugh!” He says indignantly. “It’s a monster! Kill it, please!”

You kneel down and take a closer look at the offending arachnid. “Aww, it’s just a little jumping spider,” you say. “It’s actually kind of cute.”

Charles makes a strangled sound of disbelief. “Cute? It’s a beast from the depths of hell! I want it gone!”

You roll your eyes affectionately. “You race cars at over 300 kilometers per hour, but you’re scared of a little spider barely bigger than a piece of lint?”

“Yes! Spiders are my worst fear. Now stop teasing me and get rid of it!” He gives you his best pleading look from his perch on top of the couch.

“Alright, alright,” you acquiesce, grabbing an empty glass from the coffee table. You gently trap the spider under it and slide a piece of cardstock underneath, trapping the spider safely.

“Is it dead? Please tell me you killed it,” Charles asks hopefully.

“Of course not, I’m just going to let it go outside. Spiders are good, they eat other bugs.”

Charles visibly shudders. “Well get it out of here! I don’t want to see it ever again.”

You carry the spider carefully to the sliding door and release it on the balcony. When you come back inside, Charles is still standing on the couch looking suspiciously around at the floor.

“The horrible beast has been banished, you can come down now,” you say.

He hesitantly steps back down onto the floor. “Are you sure it’s gone? You didn’t just give it free reign to run wild in the apartment?”

You try and fail to hold back a laugh. “Yes, I’m sure. Your life is no longer in peril.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “This isn’t funny! Spiders are evil creatures with too many legs and eyes. They should not exist.”

You go over and wrap your arms around him comfortingly, though you’re still struggling not to giggle. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. But you have to admit, it’s kind of silly that someone who races cars at death-defying speeds could be so terrified of a tiny spider.”

He huffs indignantly. “It’s a completely rational fear. They’re all legs and eyes and they move so fast and erratically and some of them can be venomous. Absolutely horrifying.”

You smile indulgently and kiss his cheek. “Okay, I get it. I promise I’ll protect you if any more evil spiders invade our home.”

“Thank you,” he says, finally relaxing into your arms now that the threat has passed.

But you just can’t resist teasing him a little more. “It was just so small!”

He pulls back and gives you an unamused look. “You’re not going to let this go anytime soon, are you?”

You grin impishly. “Letting my big macho boyfriend stand on the couch and scream because of a teeny tiny spider? Yeah, probably not gonna let you live this one down for a while.”

Charles groans. “This is so unfair. The guys will never let me hear the end of it if they find out.”

You pat his shoulder sympathetically. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone that Charles Leclerc is terrified of itsy bitsy spiders.”

And if you happened to save evidence of his freak out just in case? Well … it’s not technically telling anyone unless you share the video.

***

You can’t help but grin as Charles paces back and forth in your New York hotel room, running his hands through his hair in distress.

“Chill out babe, I’m sure the airline will find your luggage soon,” you try to soothe him.

Charles whips around, eyes wide. “Chill out? How can I chill out when my La Mer is missing? Do you have any idea how long it took me to perfect my skincare routine?”

You stifle a laugh at his dramatics. “I mean, it’s just skincare products. Not the end of the world.”

“Just skincare products?” Charles looks at you in horror. “That’s like saying a Ferrari is just a car! La Mer is the cream of the crop, the holy grail of skin care! My face needs it to survive!”

You can’t hold back your grin anymore. “Wow, didn’t realize I was dating such a high maintenance diva,” you tease.

Charles huffs, crossing his arms. “I am not high maintenance, I just have discerning taste and an appreciation for quality.”

“Uh huh, sure,” you say. “Is that why you made us stop at three different Whole Foods on the way here from the airport until you found your favorite protein shake?”

“That is completely different,” Charles protests. “My skin is very sensitive, I can’t just use any old drugstore products.”

You laugh and pull Charles onto the couch next to you. “You’re cute when you pout.”

He tries to keep a straight face but ends up cracking a smile. “I can’t help it, I’m freaking out! Do you know how dry airplanes are? My skin is going to be a flaky desert by tomorrow.”

You run a hand through his hair. “Aww poor baby. However will you cope without your six hundred dollar moisturizer?”

Charles narrows his eyes at you. “You joke, but this is serious stuff. Do you want a boyfriend with wrinkles and acne?”

“I mean, a few wrinkles never hurt anyone,” you say, kissing his cheek.

He gasps dramatically. “Don’t even joke about that! I’ll be twenty seven soon, wrinkle prevention needs to start now.”

You shake your head in amusement. “Most twenty seven year olds aren’t this worried about wrinkles. But I guess Formula 1 drivers really are high maintenance.”

“With good reason! We can’t have crows feet interfering with our vision,” Charles says matter-of-factly.

You give him a look. “You’re just making things up now.”

Charles holds your hands, looking deeply into your eyes. “Mon amour, you must understand. Athletes age in dog years. We need anti-aging products just to keep up.”

You burst out laughing, shoving him playfully. “You’re so full of it!”

Charles grins cheekily. “But you love me anyway.”

You lean in and give him a soft kiss. “Yeah I do. Even if you are a high maintenance diva.”

Charles puts a hand to his chest in mock offense. “I thought girlfriends were supposed to be supportive! My skincare is obviously very important to me.”

You snuggle up next to him, running a hand through his hair. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Tell me all about this super special moisturizer.”

His eyes light up. “Well first of all it contains like crushed up diamonds or something. And they freeze each jar before shipping it to keep the ingredients ultra fresh.”

You make a mental note to Google this later, since it sounds completely absurd that diamonds would be an effective skincare ingredient. Though with Charles, you can never be too sure.

“Uh huh, diamonds. That’s totally normal,” you say, playing along.

“Exactly! And the founder makes sure each jar charges under the energy of a full moon before it’s sold. It’s really an intricate artisanal process.” Charles sighs longingly.

You smile and kiss his pouting lips. “You’re cute. I promise your skin will survive one night without magic moon diamonds.”

Charles snuggles against your shoulder. “I know, I know. Skincare is just part of my routine, it makes me feel relaxed and put together. And smelling like citrus blossoms is an added bonus.”

You kiss the top of his head. “I get that. Hopefully the airline finds your stuff soon. But in the meantime, want me to see if anyone sells La Mer nearby?”

Charles perks up. “Ooh yes, let’s check! I saw they have a Dior down the block too.”

You laugh and take his hand. “Of course they do. Come on, let’s go spoil you with new overpriced skincare products until yours turn up.”

***

You walk into the kitchen and see your boyfriend standing at the counter, a pile of uncooked spaghetti next to him. He takes a portion in his hand … which he proceeds to snap in half before dropping it into the pot of boiling water on the stove.

“Charles! What are you doing?” You exclaim in shock.

He turns to you, confused. “What do you mean? I’m just making sure the pasta will fit better in the pot.”

“But you can’t break spaghetti before cooking it!” You say incredulously. “That’s like a cardinal sin in Italy!”

Charles laughs. “Oh come on, it’s not that big of a deal. The pasta will cook just fine this way.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “I can’t believe Il Predestinato is out here breaking pasta. Do you have any idea how offensive Italians would find this?”

“I’m sure they will survive the absolute tragedy of some broken spaghetti,” he jokes.

You nod to your phone. “It’s a good thing I’m recording this for posterity then. The whole country needs to know about this travesty.”

Charles’ eyes go wide. “What? No, don’t record me!” He reaches for your phone but you spin away, giggling.

“The people of Italy deserve to know the truth about their hero!” You declare dramatically.

“Mon ange, please give me the phone,” he pleads, trying to grab your arm. You dance out of reach.

“Truth and justice will prevail!” You continue recording as Charles chases you around the kitchen island.

“Come on, delete it! This could start an international incident if it gets out!”

You pause to catch your breath, phone held high. “An international inchident? Wow, look at you being all dramatic now. I thought it wasn’t a big deal?”

Charles runs a hand through his hair in exasperation. “I didn’t think you’d actually record it as blackmail material! Please, mon amour, I’m begging you, delete the video.”

You pretend to think about it. “Hmm I don’t know … this seems like prime viral video content. Scuderia Ferrari Driver Destroys Pasta, Enrages Italy. Can you imagine the views it would get?”

“Y/N!” Charles lunges forward and tackles you onto the living room couch. You shriek with laughter as he tries to pry the phone from your grip.

“Noooo my video!” You yell dramatically.

Charles pins your arms above your head with one hand and reaches for the phone with the other. “Give it to me!”

You squirm underneath him. “Never!”

He leans down until his face is just inches from yours. “What’s it going to take for you to delete that video, huh?” His voice is low and gravelly.

You catch your breath, hyper aware of his body pressing against yours. “I don’t know, what are you offering?” You ask cheekily.

Charles brushes his nose against yours. “What if I made you your favorite dinner tomorrow night?”

You tilt your chin up in defiance. “That’s all I get for deleting potential internet gold? I don’t think so.”

He moves even closer, his lips just barely grazing your cheek. “Okay, what if I take you out for a nice date too? Dinner and a show at the opera, your choice.” His breath is warm against your skin.

You close your eyes for a second, affected by his closeness but not ready to give in yet. “Tempting, but I think this video is worth even more than that.”

Charles makes a small noise of frustration before capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You melt into it for a blissful moment before pulling back slightly.

“Well that’s certainly a start,” you murmur, your heart racing.

Charles lets go of your hands to cradle your face tenderly. “Mon cœur, please delete the video. I’m begging you. I’ll do anything.”

You search his eyes intently. “Anything?”

“Anything,” he confirms fervently before kissing you again, deeper this time.

You wrap your arms around his neck and give yourself over to the kiss. After several heated moments, you gently break away.

“Okay fine, I’ll delete the video on one condition.”

Charles looks at you warily. “Name it.”

“You have to let me drive your Ferrari.”

Charles groans and drops his head against your shoulder. “You’re killing me, you know that?”

You laugh and pat his head consolingly. “Those are my terms.”

He lifts his head to grin ruefully at you. “You drive a hard bargain. But for the sake of Italian nonnas everywhere, I accept your deal.”

You lift up your phone and pretend to wipe away a tear. “The souls of broken spaghetti can finally rest easy.”

Charles just shakes his head before leaning down to silence you with another deep kiss. As you lose yourself in the feeling of his body against yours, you quietly move the video into an encrypted folder. After all, you never know when it might come in handy.

***

You raise an eyebrow as you watch Charles carefully pour Red Bull into his Ferrari water bottle. “Do you buy those in bulk?” You ask with a laugh.

Charles gasps in exaggerated outrage. “Buy from the enemy? Never!” He screws the cap on tightly and gives you a sly grin. “Max and I have an arrangement.”

“An arrangement?” You echo in surprise. This is news to you.

Charles nods, looking pleased with himself. “Yes, a secret trade deal. I provide him cappuccinos from the Ferrari cafe and Max supplies me with as much Red Bull as I need.”

You burst out laughing. “Are you serious? You and Max smuggle each other contraband caffeinated drinks?”

“Shh, not so loud!” Charles glances around furtively, but the motorhome is empty except for the two of you. “It must remain a secret.”

Still chuckling, you lower your voice conspiratorially. “So the great Charles Leclerc betrays his team for energy drinks. The Tifosi would riot if they knew!”

Charles winces dramatically. “Do not say such things! It is not betrayal, merely … creative problem solving.” He takes a long swig of Red Bull and grins. “The taste of the enemy is sweet.”

“I can’t believe you drink that stuff. And I can’t believe Max is your supplier!” You shake your head in amusement. “Does anyone else know about this arrangement of yours?”

“Only Lando. We needed a neutral third party to broker the deal and make the exchanges.” Charles leans in with a playful smile. “So do not be getting any ideas about exposing our scheme, yes?”

You mimic zipping your lips. “My lips are sealed … as long as you share some of that!”

Charles pretends to think about it for a second before breaking into a grin and handing you the bottle. The carbonated liquid fizzes pleasantly on your tongue, the familiar flavor mingling with the surrealness of drinking Red Bull from a Ferrari bottle. You take one more sip then hand it back to Charles.

“Just don’t let Fred or Christian find out,” you warn teasingly. “Pretty sure this counts as treason.”

Charles just laughs. “They turn a blind eye. The team knows I perform best when properly caffeinated.” He caps the bottle and adds, “But no more for you, ma belle. I only have a limited supply!”

You pout dramatically. “Fine, keep your precious Red Bull. I guess I’ll just have to tell everyone what’s really in your water bottle!”

The can of Red Bull that Charles rushes to give you tastes even sweeter than usual.

[chrisevansonly]

𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜

ʚ charles leclerc x female reader

ʚ charles gets the one call he never wanted to get, and despite your worries about his precious pista, he doesn’t care about the car. just you.

ʚ angst, description of injuries (minor), mentions of blood, panic attacks, violence (minor), tears and lots of soft charles

ʚ okay idk why i thought of this idea, but i have and here we are, i know people have been asking for angst, this idk if it qualifies as the angst you’re all looking for but I will work on some other ideas too:)

Time was frozen as you sat in the driver’s seat of what once looked like a Ferrari 488 Pista. Only now you could make out the back of the car, the front of it might as well be in a what not to do when you drive a luxury vehicle catalogue. Your head was ringing and your chest pounding as adrenaline and anxiety pumped through your veins, as much as you’d started to feel pain in a multitude of places, your brain was thinking of only one thing;

Charles is going to be so mad.

To make matters worse, the man who had hit you was now cursing through the tinted window, claiming the accident to be all your fault. Deciding to think about Charles’s potential anger later you picked your phone up and called his number.

Thankfully it didn’t take long, 

“Hi baby, are you on your way back”

A pause 

“Um…I-I got in an accident Char…”

The line was silent before he spoke up, panic laced in his voice. 

“Qu'entendez-vous par ‘accident?’  Qu'est-ce qui s'est passé? Où es-tu, es-tu gravement blesse.”

“Charles, english please my head hurts so bad.”

Normally you’d be able to hold an entire conversation with him in French, but right now it was just too much.

“I’m sorry, where are you baby? Are you hurt bad?”

Sniffling softly, you hummed

“I am down by the marina; my head really hurts. The man who hit me…he-he is yelling loudly at me…can you-oh Charles your poor car….”

“No, don’t even worry about my car baby, you matter more to me, I can’t replace you, but I can replace the car. I’ll be there in ten minutes, keep the doors locked, don’t get out.”

You nodded, only then realizing he couldn’t see you. 

“Yes, okay, I’ll wait here…please hurry”

“I will chérie, I promise.”

-

Just like he’d said, a familiar black Alfa Romeo pulled up next to the crash site, Charles quick to get out and come towards the driver’s side door, only to see the man banging at the window. 

“Hey, can you step away from my car?”

The man turned to look at Charles

“Cette stupide salope a détruit ma voiture!”

“Je vous le redemande, éloignez-vous de ma voiture”

It was getting harder for Charles to reign in his anger, quickly pushing the man back, giving him a look that at this point in the evening, had him backing away, finally allowing Charles to open the door and see you

“Hey..hey.. I’m here, its okay?”

Charles swore his heart broke as you looked at him with teary eyes, a bruise above your eyebrow, but thankfully you appeared alright otherwise.

“I-I’m so sorry about your car Charlie, he just-he came out of nowhere, and I-I couldn’t-I am so so sorry!”

Holding back the sobs was almost impossible at this point, but Charles was quick to undo your seatbelt, helping you turn towards the door and put your feet on the ground. Once he had you turned toward him, he brought his hands up to hold your face, his thumbs swiping your cheeks.

“My love, listen to me, you are my main priority, you are the love of my life, and this car is just mental and parts, all which can be fixed, but you cannot, and I cannot have another one of you, ever okay?”

Sniffling you nodded

“Okay…”

In the distance you could heard the sirens coming your way, knowing you’d be going to the hospital, it was a given but for now you really just needed Charles, and he wasn’t going anywhere, that was for sure.

“Are you hurting badly baby?”

“No, just my head…can you help me up?”

Your boyfriend nodded, holding onto your arms gently as he helped you stand up, before bringing you into his chest, your arms wrapping around him, as he did the same to you.

“I am so glad you’re okay, you have no idea how worried I was…we’ll get you to the hospital and then i’m not leaving your side”

“Promise you won’t?”

Charles smiled as he saw your pinky finger come up, quickly linking his in a pink promise, a tradition you’d both been doing since your third date.

“I promise, i’m not going anywhere”

As the sirens got closer, you leaned further into Charles, knowing no matter what happened, he’d be by your side for as long as you needed him, he’d be there. It didn’t matter if he had a race, media or social events to attend, for you he’d drop them in a heart beat over and over again.

Because he never wanted to get that kind of phone call again.

translations:

-Qu'entendez-vous par ‘accident?’  Qu'est-ce qui s'est passé? Où es-tu, es-tu gravement blesse : What do you mean by 'accident?' What happened? Where are you, are you seriously injured?

-Cette stupide salope a détruit ma voiture!: This stupid bitch destroyed my car!

-Je vous le redemande, éloignez-vous de ma voiture: I'm asking you again, get away from my car

[more-than-fluff]

Unexpected Desires

Jungkook x Y/N

Genre - College Romance/Smut

Summary - You and Jungkook have been college roommates for the past year. You have been spending a lot of time with your boyfriend lately even if you had finals around the corner. Tonight was one of the nights, however it didn't go the way you had planned.

Notes - Please be kind! I wanted to write something to get me into the swing of writing again! If you have any requests please let me know.

You and Jungkook have been college roommates for the past year. You have been spending a lot of time with your boyfriend lately even if you had finals around the corner. Tonight was one of the nights, however it didn't go the way you had planned.

"You're back early." Jungkook says, looking up at you from the couch. You close the door behind you and step into the room. You try to hide your sobs as you say.

"...he...he cheated on me."

Jungkook turned to you instantly, his eyes widening. He took one look on your face and stood, stepping closer to you unsure how to handle this scenario.

"He what?" He asks, his voice tense, "He cheated on you?" His voice remains gentle, but a hint of anger comes through. All you can do is nod as you burst into tears.

Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to reign in his anger. No matter how much anger he feels against the man who hurt you, right now, you are all that matters.

"Come here" He kneels down to your level and gently wraps his arms around you to hold you close, rubbing your back and pulling you into his chest. "It's going to be okay." He says softly, trying to soothe you.

"I broke up with him, I had no choice." You say into his chest as he holds you close, you can't stop the tears from falling.

"Shhhh." He says, running his fingers through your hair, "I know, it's okay, just let it out. It's going to be okay."

He hugs you tightly and continues to hold you, rubbing your back and running his fingers through your hair. It's clear that he's trying to remain strong for you, because he knows how much you're hurting right now.

When the tears finally stop, Jungkook is still holding you, not wanting to let you go just yet. He rubs your back and sighs, finally releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I know... I know it hurts now, but I promise it's going to be okay," He says softly, "You did the right thing." He's not just saying it because it's what you want to hear either, he genuinely means it.

"I just don't understand, why did he do it? I thought we were fine."

"I know... I know." Jungkook says with a small sigh, his voice soothing you, "But some guys just don't know how good they have it until it's gone."

He gently rubs your back, moving a few stray hairs away from your face. He wants to wipe the tears from your eyes, but he refrains, because he doesn't want to add to the uncomfortable feeling of having just cried on him. "You're an amazing women, and he was lucky to have you."

You look up to him, "...not good enough." Tears start to fall again.

Jungkook can't hide the hurt in his eyes as he hears your response. He hates seeing you blame yourself for something that has nothing to do with you.

"No, no." He says firmly, "That's not true at all." This time, he does reach up to wipe the tears away. He looks down into your eyes, trying to make sure that you believe what he's saying. "You're not to blame for what happened."

A sob escapes you, "Then why did he do it? There must be something wrong with me.."

"Shhhh." He murmurs, gently rubbing your back again. "The problem was with him, not you. He cheated because he's a jerk."

Jungkook wants to shout, to tell you just how wrong you are. But he doesn't want to overwhelm you right now, and he certainly doesn't want to get into a debate over it. "Just know that you're the perfect women, and he's an idiot for not realizing it."

Another sob escapes, "I hate him Jungkook."

"I know, sweetheart." He says softly, rubbing your back, "I hate him too."

He wants to say more, but he knows it's too soon. "Shhh. Just take a deep breath. Everything's going to be alright. I promise."

You try to calm yourself but the tears won't stop. "I'm sorry."

"Shhhhh. It's okay. Really, it is…" he continues to rub your back gently.

"You don't have to apologize. But you have to promise me something."

You look up to him, waiting for him to speak.

"Promise me that you won't let him make you doubt yourself. That you're not going to take any of the blame for what happened. It's all on him. Do you understand?"

You look down, processing the question. "But..."

"No buts." He says firmly, his voice is gentle, but he's not backing down. He wants you to understand just how much of the blame falls on your ex, and he wants you to stop shouldering any of it yourself. He places a finger under your chin and lifts it gently so that you are looking at him, "Understand?"

You nod and let your head fall back into his chest.

"Good." Jungkook says, his voice soft again as he hugs you tightly. He doesn't move, continuing to hold you, still gently rubbing your back and soothing you.

"I'll be right here with you. You're going to be okay." he continues to whisper, hoping that he's getting through to you.

You hold him close for a few minutes. The sound of your phone snaps you out and you pick it up. You see your ex's name light up and look to Jungkook

"Hm?" Jungkook looks down at your phone, taking note of your exes name on the screen. He glances back up to your eyes, a frown on his face.

"Is he texting you right now?" He asks quietly, a slight edge of anger in his voice.

"...yeah." You open your phone and read the text. It's not a positive one. He's calling you all sorts for breaking up with him.

Jungkook watches you open the text, a wave of anger hits him. He can't believe the nerve of your ex, calling you names and acting so entitled when he's the one in the wrong. If he'd had any respect for you or the relationship, he would have never cheated.

"He's… really doing this. Now?" He asks quietly, barely containing the rage rising inside him.

You stay silent, a single tear runs down your cheek. Making you feel like you're the one to blame for this once again

"Hey." He gently brushes the tear away with his thumb. "Don't cry."

No matter how much he wants to call your ex every name in the book right now, he forces himself to be gentle and soothing with you. Because right now, you're hurting, and you need kindness and not the harshness of his anger.

You whisper "He says it's my fault that he had to go to another woman. I wasn't doing enough for him."

"That's bullshit." He breathes, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

Jungkook wants to take your phone and message your ex himself. He wants an even chance to be able to tell him just how much of an ass he is. But he resists the urge and focuses on soothing you again.

"Hey, listen to me." He says softly, "It is not your fault at all." His tone is firm, but gentle.

"What if he's right. I've been so busy with my finals that I haven't been giving him all of my attention."

Jungkook doesn't hesitate before answering your question. "No, he's not right at all."

He shifts his hands so that he's cupping your face, gently forcing you to focus on him instead of his phone.

"Your school work is important. In fact, if I remember correctly, I'm pretty sure you got a 100 on the last exam we took. That deserves praise and recognition. It isn't your fault that he couldn't be patient and support you."

You look up to him, feeling his hands cup your face and smile a little. "I worked hard for that 100."

He feels some relief when you smile, it means you're slowly getting past your ex and his manipulation.

"You did. And I'm really proud of you for it." He smiles back at you, wanting to encourage this happy and optimistic mood. He doesn't want your ex's words to take over. It took all his self-control not to snap at your ex, but he refuses to let him hurt you any further.

Your phone dings once more and before you can look. Jungkook grabs ahold of it

He catches your phone before you can read the message from your ex, not wanting you to see it and feel any more hurt.

He doesn't say a word though, he just takes the phone out of your hand and sets it to the side, not even bothering to look at what was sent. He doesn't care what your ex has to say, or how he's trying to justify his actions and shift the blame on to you. He knows it's wrong and that's all that matters.

"Don't worry about him." He says, still gentle and calm.

You look at him once more. "What do I do?"

"Ignore him." He says, as if it's the most obvious answer. "He's an idiot, and you've made it perfectly clear that you don't want to talk to him right now."

He shifts himself to move a little closer, closing the distance between them. "And I'm here for you." As he's talking, he holds onto your wrists, gently rubbing your knuckles with his thumbs.

You watch him rub our hand. "Okay."

"Promise me something?" He asks softly, "Don't let him get in your head. He's just a manipulative prick who can't even handle the consequences of his own actions." He doesn't know how else to describe him, so he just resorts to insulting him.

You nod at him. "I promise."

"Good." He says with a small smile.

He seems relieved that you're starting to realize the situation for what it is, and that you aren't going to fall for your ex's manipulation and blame yourself.

"Now," He continues, shifting himself to a more comfortable position. "Did you eat dinner yet?"

You shake your head. "No."

"I thought not." He says simply.

"I'm going to go make something. If you want, you can join me and we can eat dinner together." He offers up the option, figuring that it might distract you from how much an ass your ex is.

"...okay" You smile a little at how kind he's being right now.

He smiles back, genuinely happy to see the smile on your face again, even if it is faint and hesitant. He seems a little bit relieved that you're feeling better as he stands up from the couch.

"I'll just go and get started. Do you want something specific?" He asks, moving over to the kitchen.

"Everything you make is good."

"Okay." He says with a soft smile, turning away from you and moving his way around the kitchen. Jungkook is good at cooking, both because he was taught well and also because he's genuinely interested in cooking.

He gets to work, his back to you. After a while, you hear him humming a tune under his breath as he cooks. You sit at the counter and watch him work his magic.

As he cooks, he seems to be getting more relaxed and comfortable, enjoying working with the food. He feels like he can let his mind relax a little bit since you're there with him.

He keeps humming to himself, not really looking at you. But every so often, he glances back at your direction, taking small glances and smiling when your eyes meet.

The humming eventually turns into singing as he cooks. His voice isn't bad, but it's also not professional. He doesn't seem to care though, he keeps singing. You smile as you hear his voice. It almost soothes you after everything that happened today

He keeps singing as he cooks and eventually gets done with the cooking process.

Jungkook then puts a plate together, grabbing a fork and knife and setting them down. He turns around to put the plate in front of you. "Here you go."

You look at the plate set in front of you and it looks delicious. "Thank you."

"Mhm." He says simply, standing there watching you eat. He just wants to make sure that you get some food in your system.

Jungkook feels relief wash over him as you start eating. Sure, you're still heartbroken over your ex, but at least you're having something to eat.

"Feeling a little better now?" He asks softly, hoping that you've managed to process enough to start to feel a little bit better.

You nod. "A little, thank you."

"Good." He smiles at you, his hands moving into his pockets as he watches you.

Jungkook remains quiet for a bit, trying to process everything you just went through with your ex. After a moment, he speaks again.

"Do you feel like you may be able to get some sleep soon?" He asks. It's getting late, and your finals are fast approaching.

You take a deep breath, "I guess, I don't think I can do the exam. I haven't studied."

Jungkook shakes his head. "No no, you have to do the exam. You will do fine." He reassures, his voice firm but still gentle.

He's not going to let you flunk out of your exam based on some stupid, cheating ex. "You studied hard enough for the last exam and got a 100. There's no reason you shouldn't be just as capable this time around."

"My head is just scrambled I guess."

"It's understandable. Your head is probably still hurting after the breakup." He admits.

Jungkook sits down next to you. "But I don't want you to fail your exam because of some prick. You need to take the exam and pass it."

He pauses, looking at you for a moment. "And tomorrow, once the exam is behind you, we can do whatever you want. Deal?"

You look at him. "Okay, deal."

"Good." Jungkook smiles at you. The relief of seeing you start to agree with him is enough to make him happy. He's not going to let you flunk out of a perfectly valid exam just because of a breakup. "Now, get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning…"

"Okay." You stand and go to wash your dishes.

"Oh, you-… You don't have to wash the dishes." Jungkook offers up, standing up as well.

"I'll clean them up. Please go relax," He asks, his hands moving to take the plate from you.

"It's okay, I don't mind." You take the plate and start to wash it, "It's my way of saying thank you."

"No no, seriously," He argues.

"I don't mind doing them. You should go relax." He continues, trying to ease the plate out of your hands.

"Jungkook please, I can do them." You say, a little irritated.

"Fine, fine." He finally gives in.

Jungkook lets you keep the plate, and he watches you wash it. He's curious though how much is because you want to do it and how much of it is because you actually did want to wash the dishes. "Really, you don't need to do this… I'll do them."

You continue to wash the dishes, not answering him. You scrub hard, too hard. Your emotions getting the better of you He notices you scrubbing harder than should be necessary. He pauses, and watches you in a concerned and soft way. He reaches his hand out to stop you from scrubbing so hard, putting one hand on your wrist. He doesn't say anything yet, just watching you.

You try to fight him but he's much stronger than you, "I can do them!"

He continues to grip your wrist, stopping you from scrubbing.

"I know you can." He says. "But I think you're being a little too hard on the dishes and yourself."

You start to sob, "...I can do them."

Jungkook's gaze softens as he sees your emotions getting the better of you and the start of a sob.

"Hey, hey…" He speaks up, his voice soft and gentle. "Slow down."

Jungkook takes you into a hug now, hugging you close.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're tired, mentally and emotionally drained."

You sob quietly in his arms again, "…why… why did he do this..?"

"Because he's an idiot." He says, his voice sharp with disdain. "Someone selfish and childish who can't take responsibility for his own shitty actions."

He can feel you shaking in his arms. He wants to help ease your pain as much as he can.

You stay in his arms as you ask, "Can I sleep in your bed tonight? I don't want to be alone."

His eyes widen when you ask to share his bed. His mind races to thoughts he's been suppressing for a while, but he tries his best to not express them.

Jungkook nods, still keeping you in his arms.

"Of course." He says, almost in a whisper.

You hold onto him, "Thank you."

He smiles faintly.

Jungkook's mind is buzzing with thoughts now though. Does she want to sleep in the same bed because she's scared? Or because she wants to spend more time with him?

He knows he's probably reading to much into the situation. But he can't help but wonder. Once you calm down you start getting ready to sleep. You feel so tired after today that the bed has never sounded better.

He watches as you get ready, letting his eyes wander freely over your frame. You probably aren't aware of it, but he's been staring at your figure, taking in every single detail. The smooth skin of your shoulders, the curves of your back.

But he snaps out of it, reminding himself that he needs to be respectful. He's not going to act the way your ex did and take advantage of you when you're at your most vulnerable.

You stand near the sofa where he's sat, "I'm gonna head to bed, are you sure I can sleep in yours? I can use mine if you don't want me to."

"No you can share my bed." He says simply, not wanting to push you away in a situation like this.

"Okay, thanks."

"Mhm." He mumbles back, opening the door for you.

Jungkook waits for you to step inside the bed room before finally closing the door, making sure you're safe inside.

He sighs and starts to undress. He knows he probably shouldn't be sharing a bed with you, but he just doesn't have it in him to tell you no right now.

You climb into his bed and it feels so much better than yours.

Jungkook finishes changing and then gets into bed, the two of you laying under the same covers. He's laying on his side, his body pointing away from you so that he doesn't invade your personal space.

But being in the same bed is enough for him. Even that is better than being completely separate right now.

You get comfortable almost instantly and feel yourself falling asleep.

Jungkook's eyes are closed, as he tries to fall asleep. He's doing his best to ignore the closeness between the two of you, even if you're both on different sides of the bed.

It feels weird being this close to you like this, the warmth from your body next to his. He feels so much tension build back up in his stomach and his heart rate quicken.

Jungkook shifts to a more comfortable position and shuts his eyes again, trying to focus on breathing and forcing himself to sleep.

___________________________________

The light fills the room and it wakes you. You look at the time and prepare yourself for your finals exam. Jungkook is woken up just as you are from the bright rays of the sun. He looks over at the clock and sighs. He wasn't able to get much sleep last night, having been too agitated and filled with tension because of your intimate proximity.

He moves to sitting up. His shoulders are tense, and his stomach hurts. He runs his hands through his hair, trying to make it more presentable before standing up.

You shower and mentally prepare yourself for the day. Hoping that it goes a lot better than yesterday.

Jungkook does the same, his thoughts a bit of a mess. He's anxious about the exam, but his nervous thoughts keep drifting back to the fact that he spent the night sharing a bed with you.

He finishes getting ready, his hair damp and his body feeling like its being pulled in a million different directions at once.

You grab your bag and look at Jungkook. "Ready?"

"Mhm." he mumbles.

Jungkook's face has this neutral look on it, but his mind is racing with thoughts and emotions towards you. He keeps his feelings buried inside him, trying to get back to his neutral self.

"Let's go." He adds.

Once outside, he follows you to the exam hall. His mind is racing with thoughts though. He has an exam to pass, and he doesn't even have his head in the game. Everything he's thinking about is in regards to you.

He keeps his eyes forward, trying to suppress the distracting thoughts. He doesn't want to give himself away until after the exam, but even that will be difficult.

He continues to stay close to you as you walk towards the hall. Once outside the entrance you turn and look at Jungkook. "Ready to ace this?"

"I am." He nods, trying to keep his emotions out of his voice.

"Let's do this." He smiles half-heartedly, his mind still wandering to thoughts of you.

He continues to stay close to you, his heartbeat starting to quicken again.

You smile at himYou take the exam with ease. Jungkook was right about you not needing to worry. You finish with a few minutes to spare. You look around and see Jungkook, his face covered in concentration and you can't help but smile at him and walk inside, taking your named seat and wait for the exam to start.

Jungkook follows you in, finding his own seat with his name on it. He leans back on his seat and settles his hands in his lap. He's anxious and nervous, but he reminds himself that the next few hours are all about performing at his best for the exam. Nothing else matters.

The exam begins, and you both start to write in your answers. You're both focused on it, even though a part of you just wants it to end to go back to the comfort of each other's company. You take the exam with ease. Jungkook was right about you not needing to worry. You finish with a few minutes to spare. You look around and see Jungkook, his face covered in concentration and you can't help but smile at him

Jungkook is also near the end of his exam. When he sees you smile at him, he feels a moment of weakness when he should be focused on the exam. But he can't help but smile back and give you a quick wave.

He looks back at the exam, trying to stay focused as he finishes filling in his last minute answers. He glances at you every once in a while, but he tries not to let his eyes wander too often as to distract himself further.

"Okay times up." You turn to the professor as he starts to collect the papers.

You both finally hand in your papers, and make your way out of the exam hall. You're both so relieved and tired, both mentally and physically drained.

Jungkook walks next to you, his arm casually brushing against yours. He takes deep breaths, his nerves and anxiety slowly subsiding now that the exam is over.

"How did it go for you?" You ask looking up at him.

"I think I did alright." He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't feel terribly confident, but I did finish all the questions."

He looks at you and nods approvingly. "How about you? How do you feel about the exam?"

You smile. "Easy as always."

He gives you a light smile back.

"Good to hear that you found it easy." He says softly.

"I take it you finished in time too, then?" He asks, his tone playful as he teases you a little.

You chuckle, "Had a few minutes to spare."

"Oh, I'm impressed." He plays along with the joke, giving you a light and teasing smirk.

"So what's next for the day?" He asks, his tone still light as he shifts the topic.

"I don't know, maybe a celebratory drink? We did just finish our final exam of the semester"

"I'll take any excuse to celebrate, as long as I have good company." He smiles lightly, his flirtatious tone returning as he plays into the playful energy you're giving him.

"So drink it is? I don't know about you, but I could use a beer right now."

You nod and take hold of his arm. "Me too."

Jungkook chuckles slightly as you take hold of his arm, and he can feel himself being pulled along by you.

He likes the physical contact, even if it isn't much. The slight touching of your arm is enough to get his heart beating faster. He doesn't want to show it too much though, even if he can't help but smile back at you.

"Lead the way then." He says, his voice still playful with a teasing tone.

You walk together to your favourite bar, it's full of other students celebrating. Jungkook follows you, walking beside you and taking in the festivities around you both. It's clear that all the students who just finished the exam were feeling pretty celebratory.

"They're really trying to get wasted, huh?" He says with a chuckle, watching some guys down shots together.

You laugh. "I think we have some catching up to do."

"Yeah, I think we do." He adds playfully, starting to slow down slightly as you approach the bar area.

He follows you over to the bar, watching people pour themselves drinks. Everyone has their drinks, it seems, and many are trying to make their shot's last longer, using chasers and such.

"What do you want to get?" He asks you, letting his hand brush your lower back momentarily when he speaks to you.

"You choose." You say, leaning on the bar.

He thinks for a minute, looking over the different drinks on display.

"Beer or something stronger?" He asks, his finger absently tracing patterns on the bar counter as he contemplates the choice between the two.

"I think we deserve something stronger."

"I like that logic." He whispers softly.

He looks at the stronger drinks lined up on the counter. His eyes immediately land on the tequila, and his mouth waters slightly at the thought of it.

"Can I get a shot of tequila, please?" he says to the bartender.

The bartend starts to pour the shot, and Jungkook grabs a couple of glasses for water, which the bartender delivers to him along with the shot of tequila.

You pick up the shot and hold it in the air, "To finishing exams and shitty relationships!"

He raises his shot in the air as well, a slight grin on his face.

"Cheers to that!" He grins, the playful energy between the two of you making each glass clink sound more energetic than it should.

He downs his shot of tequila. The liquor is strong and burns his throat, but he does his best to hide his reaction.

You laugh at his reaction and ask the bartender for one more

He watches you as you order another round of shots. A light smile crosses his face when he sees you laugh at his reaction to the tequila.

Jungkook takes his glass of water. He doesn't want to get plastered off his one shot of liquor, so he opts for water.

He watches you down the shot of tequila, admiring you a little in silence.

You take the shot and enjoy the burn it gives you, "Too strong for you? Shall we have a beer instead?"

"Yeah, yeah." He says playfully, not wanting to admit that he isn't quite used to the burning sensation of tequila.

"Beer is definitely more my speed." He says back playfully as he orders a round of beer.

"You wanna stick to tequila though…" He adds teasingly, "or were you thinking of switching to beer too?"

"Well another shot is tempting… but I'll take the beer."

"Wise choice." Jungkook replies back playfully, giving your arm a small pat as he picks up his glass of beer.

"You still want to do shots don't you?" He asks slightly playfully, his arms resting on the counter as he continues to watch you and wait for your response.

You smile. "Of course!" You chuckle.

"Then let's do it." He smiles back, his playful tone matching hers.

He orders another round of shots. The tequila burns just as much as the first time, but he does a better job at hiding his reaction.

He takes his shot of tequila, this time taking a second glass of water afterwards as well.

"Shall we do one more?" He asks playfully, still holding your arm, his thumb casually tracing a circle on you wrist as the alcohol starts to get to him.

You nod, "I need ten more!" You joke to him.

"Oh you think you can handle ten shots of tequila huh?" He chuckles back, matching your playful energy.

He can feel the alcohol start to loosen him up slightly. He has less inhibitions about the playful flirting, but he tries to stay in control.

His thumb continues its gentle circling around your wrist as he teases you.

"I can, can you?" You ask, poking his shoulder playfully.

"Hey now…" he grins playfully, trying to keep up with your playful banter.

"I'm sure I can." He says confidently. "I could probably beat you in a drinking contest." He chuckles.

"Let's prove it." He says playfully, taking another shot of tequila.

"Fine, game on!" You take another shot and love the burn it gives.

Jungkook downs his next shot of tequila as well, the alcohol definitely getting to him at this point.

His expression is less serious now, almost becoming a smirk, he still has his playful side though.

"You feeling the effects yet?" He asks playfully, grabbing another glass of water after finishing his shot.

"Maybe a little." You definitely do, you feel good. The best you've felt in the past 24 hours.

"You look like you're definitely feeling it…" he chuckles playfully, noticing the effect that the alcohol is starting to have on you.

"But you said you can handle more shots… so let's see it."

Jungkook downs his next shot of tequila. The alcohol has his brain processing a bit slower than normal, but he doesn't feel too much to stop him drinking more either.

"Fine," You hold the shot and down it in one. "I am going to beat you." You sing to him.

"Oh… oh really?" He asks playfully, but it's clear that he's definitely starting to feel loose from the alcohol.

"I doubt that." He adds on, laughing as he grabs his next glass of water. "But we'll see… we'll see."

Jungkook takes his next shot of tequila, his eyes widening slightly at the burn it gives. But he takes it like a champ, his grin only getting wider on his face.

You follow and take another shot. Your favourite song starts playing and your eyes widen, "Jungkook, we have to dance!"

"Dance?" Jungkook asks, a little surprised by your sudden suggestion.

He laughs and tilts his head playfully. "Why do we have to dance now? Can't we just relax and chill?" He chuckles, a slightly goofy smile on his face as the alcohol takes even more effect.

You grab hold of his hand and try to pull him off his seat, "Come on, it's my favourite song!"

"Alright, alright." He chuckles a bit as you pull him to his feet. "Let's go."

Jungkook takes your hand and lets himself be led away. The alcohol has his mind a bit foggy, and he's no longer thinking as rationally as he normally would.

He's more likely to just go with the flow, especially when there's music and dancing involved. You lead him to the dance floor which is already crowded but you find a spot and move to your song.

He follows you to the dance floor without hesitation, making sure to stay close to you so he doesn't lose you in the crowd.

He listens to the music for a moment before starting to move. The beat is getting to him, though. He feels more relaxed and carefree when he's dancing, even if his mind is slowly being impaired by the alcohol.

Jungkook is pretty good at dancing and makes sure to blend into the crowd of everyone else who's dancing along.

With the alcohol, combined with the music and the joy from watching you dance, Jungkook feels even more carefree than usual.

He moves along with the music, his body flowing with it. He doesn't even think about his movements anymore. He's simply responding to the song that's playing.

The alcohol continues to make it's affect known throughout his body, and he starts to become more and more loose. He's not stumbling or anything, but he's definitely starting to lose some of his inhibitions.

He moves with you, the two of you dancing together.

He's getting a little bold with the alcohol flowing through his body though. He's starting to lean in closer to you as you dance, his hand on your hip pulling you slightly closer to him as you both move to the music.

The alcohol is definitely making him lean closer than normal right now. Normally he wouldn't even try to get this close, but right now, he doesn't seem to care how bold he's being.

The touch feels nice between the two of them and he doesn't seem to want to stop. He leans slightly closer, and continues to dance to the music with his arm around your waist. He's still holding your hand, not letting go for a moment.

He can't help but notice the feeling of you pressing into him as you dance.

He's so focused on the music right now that he barely notices your movements, or how close your bodies are.

He's slowly relaxing as you press into him, his own hands tightening on you as he pulls you slightly closer.

The beat of the music is starting to make his muscles move subtly and he's not realizing how bold he's getting with his hands.

You look up to him to find he is already looking at you. You don't stop moving, you have never seen him look at you this way. It's different. Not like a friend but something more.

Jungkook is just as caught up in the moment as you are, so when your eyes finally meet his, it takes him by surprise.

There's a slight tension and chemistry between the two of you that has been building up for a while, and the moment you lock eyes, it feels like a jolt of electricity going through both of your bodies.

Jungkook's eyes have never met yours in such a way, there's a clear shift in his expression that shows just how caught up he is in not only the night, but you…

It feels like time has slowed down as he closes the distance between you two.

Jungkook's eyes are locked on yours, his gaze full of energy and the smallest hint of lust. He's been wanting to do this for a while now, and the alcohol is only increasing the desire to take this further.

He's moving so slowly, but in those few seconds before he's pressed his lips to yours, the tension is almost unbearable.

The first touch of your lips is enough to send shivers down his spine. The kiss itself feels like a rush.

Jungkook takes you in, holding your body close against his as he kisses you. The music is still playing all around them, but it feels like nobody else exists except for the two of you.

Jungkook can't get enough of your touch right now, his desire for you growing with each soft brush of your lips.

Jungkook's heart was racing now; he could feel his breath quickening. As the kiss continues, he pulls you even closer to him, wanting nothing more in the world than to taste your lips.

Jungkook's hands start to run up and down the sides of your body, tracing the smooth skin of your thighs as you continue moving to the beat of the music. He doesn't want this moment to end, and doesn't want to think about anything outside of the moment here and now.

You pull back and look up to him. You feel a little confusion but it also just feels right.

Jungkook's mind has completely blanked due to the rush of the alcohol and the kiss.

He looks at you, a little confused as to why you pulled away. His eyes scan you, his mouth slightly open. It's like he's trying to process what just happened.

"We should head back." You say, looking into his eyes trying not to let them slip to his lips. All he does is nod before taking your hand and walking you both out of the bar.

The walk back is silent, you don't know what to do. The tension between the two of you has never been so high, you just want to get back.

________________________________

Walking into your apartment, your mind starts racing with all kinds of thoughts. Has he always felt like this toward you? Have you?

You run your hands through your hair and look at him, he's just stood there. His gaze is fixated on you.

"Listen I-"

Before you could finish your sentence he strides to you and takes you into a kiss once more. This time it's not gentle, he takes you. His mouth claiming yours, you don't hold back and let him in. His tongue dancing with yours, you can't help but moan at this sensation. He puls back and looks at you.

"I should've done this a long time ago Y/N."

You look him up and down, unable to reply.

His eyes scan your face, unsure what to do next. You help, you cup his face and whisper. "I wish you did." You bring him toward you and kiss him. He sees this as the perfect opportunity and lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and walks straight into his bedroom.

He gently lowers you onto his bed, stands up and removes his shirt. You have never looked at him this way before and you stare in awe at his physique. His tattoo, his hair disheveled makes him look even more hot.

He comes back down and kisses you over, his mouth moves to your neck and you lift your head to grant him access. His hands start roaming your body, your arms, your chest sliding down to the hem of your dress. He looks to you for your consent and your heart warms a little as you give a little nod. In one swift move your dress is off and laying on the floor. He stands and looks down on you, you should feel embarrassed but with him staring at you like that, it just makes you feel hotter.

"Beautifull Y/N, that man is a fool to lose you." He comes down to you, his face so close to yours but he speaks once more. "But i'm happy he did, because now you're mine." He kisses you, hard. Claiming you as his. You love it, your hips buckle under him and you feel the hardness of him against you. Your hands move to his jeans and move to undo them. He helps you, undoing his belt and taking his jeans off. You stare and move to take off his boxers but he pauses, placing his hand on yours.

You look up, worried you were tushing him too much but the stare he gives you turns you into a puddle there and then.

"Wouldn't be fair without you taking yours off sweetheart."

You blush instantly, he lowers himself down and leaves a trail of kisses, starting at your lips and moving lower and lower until he reaches to strap of your underwear. His fingers curl around them, teasing you.

"You want these off?"

All you can do is nod, your body is practically begging him. You hear him chuckle as he slowly slides them down your legs, the cold leaving a slight chill to your exposed body but you welcome it as the heat you feel right now is overwhelming. He follows suit and removes his, you almost gawp at his length but you try to hide it. Not very well as you see him smirk, giving himself a few pumps before grabbing a condom from his drawer.

He climbs the bed until he is hovering above you.

"You sure?" You look to him, his eyes holding a little concern as this was your last chance to pull out of this, he needs this consent before moving forward. You wrap your hands around his neck and answer. "Please Jungkook, make me forget about him."

His head dips at your words. "Oh Sweetheart, you'll never think of him again. I promise."

He lines himself up to you before pushing in, you both gasp in unison at the sensation of each other. He picks up speed slowly, your moans fill the room. It feels so good you don't want this to end.

"Jungkook" You moan his name and almost growls in return.

"God I love it when you say my name." He picks up speed and thrusts even harder into you. "Say it again Sweetheart."

"Jungkook please." You whimper as you just want more, you want all of him and nothing else.

He takes you even harder, his head falls beside you as he picks up his speed. "So good Sweetheart, you feel so good."

He keeps going, not slowing down. You feel the butterflies building inside of you. "Jungkook I'm gonna..."

He lifts his head and kisses you while taking you hard.

"Please Sweetheart, come with me. While I take you, yes Sweetheart."

Your moans grow in volume as you feel it build more and more until you see stars. Your back arches as you explode below him, you scream his name a final time before coming back down.

You feel his movement get sloppy as he slows down, he finished with you.

He comes to a stop and lays next to you, he takes you in his arms. Brushing your hair with his fingers. You lay on his chest and feel every rise and fall.

He holds you close, not wanting to let go.

You raise your head and look to him, he cocks his head as he listens to you.

"How long have you waited for this moment?" You can't help but ask him, he feels as if he has longed for this moment for a while so you had to ask.

He smiles while looking at you, still combing your hair.

"Sweetheart, I have wanted you ever since I laid my eyes on you. But you weren't mine to have then."

Your eyes widen as he spoke, you had no idea. You were so oblivious to his feelings.

"Until now." He leans down and kisses you, slowly.

"And I will never break your heart, you're mine now Sweetheart. No-one will be coming between us ever again."

You don't have to say anything else, you lay your head on his chest once more. You feel safe, and you know he will never do as others have done to you.

He's yours and finally you're his, and God don't you know it.

[norrisleclercf1]

Bad Reputation

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Sainz!Reader

Rating: PG-13

Words: 2.2K

Requested: Yes/No

Request: Omg this is random but can you pls write bad reputation max x super good girl reader? Like everyone says she shouldn’t go for max and criticising their relationship, saying he’s bad for her and whatever but they just don’t know him like she does and we all know max is the sweetest person irl (and Netflix is a bitch for pushing a bad agenda about him) and it’s just all the sweet secret moments they have between them? Kinda like the song ‘call it what you want’ by taylor swift & delicate (‘my reputations never been worse, so you must like me for me’) 🥺

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, secret relationship, Papa and Carlos are fuckers, Carlos is a petty bitch, nothing major honestly

Max Verstappen The Notorious Bad Guy That Stole A Championship 

You scuff at the news article on your phone. How ridiculous. Not only was it dragging up old wounds, but distasteful simply due to Max dominating right now. 

"Something wrong?" Your eyes peer at your brother over your sunglasses. "No, just another distasteful article about Max again." You try to reign in the anger of your words, but it's evident as the man across from you raises his eyebrow. "You defend him too much." Rolling your eyes, you want to bite back that you don't. 

It'd be a lie, of course. You knew Max better than everyone else. Yet, you had to keep that hidden from the world. "You're just jealous because he's been kicking your ass." Sticking your tongue out at your brother Carlos who flips you off. "Carlos, you put your finger down right now." Your mother hisses, fixing your hair which has you moving away. 

"She's not a baby, Mama," Carlos grumbles, leaning back into the lawn chair. "Carlos, your sister is a good girl. Don't sully her eyes." Your mother sighs, placing plates of food down. "Mama, stop. I'm not a child." You grumble, lowering the brightness on your phone. 

You hated having to hide your relationship with Max. But, he was known to have a horrible temper, foul-mouthed, cheater, thief, and everything else under the sun. But, to you? He was calm, a boy who grew into a man too quickly, chasing the records to be etched into greatness. Max's foul mouth was never pointed at you. That mouth gave you soft promises and sweet nothings. 

Everyone judged him because of DTS, his radios, and the fact he had no remorse when it came to the races, driving hard and winning hard. They needed someone to blame, and Max was the easy escape for fans and teams alike. 

I saw the article. You didn't steal it. You won fairly. They don't want to admit it. 

Hitting send, you place your phone on your lap, waiting for a reply. You knew it'd be late in Monaco as you enjoyed the summer break with Carlos back home in Spain. Throughout the night, you kept checking your phone, unable to help yourself. A soft buzz on your lap has your smile growing more than usual as you look at your phone. 

I could care less; I'll only care if they involve you. No one knows yet, and that's for the best. When do you come back? I miss you. 

Those three words have your heart beating faster. He missed you? Max and you haven't been together long, just shy of 7 months. Still, in that honeymoon phase, you always made excuses to your brother and his friends about why you couldn't hang out. Carlos was going suspicious, even once tried following you only to see you go to a bookstore. 

I miss you too. Have to go. Carlos is about to- 

You hit send just as Carlos snatches your phone. "Carlos! Give it back!" Swiping for the phone, Carlos steps back as he looks at your screen. He laughs as you two fight for the phone, but it dings, making you frantic. "Carlos, please. Please give me back my phone. I'm begging you." Desperation evident. "What? Texting your boyfriend?" Carlos jokes, but that smile of his slips when he reads the text. 

"Carlos, I can explain." He tosses your phone back, all traces of your brother gone, replaced with a pissed-off man. "Max answered your text. We'll talk later." He whispers in your ear, going back to his seat. The rest of the family joining the two of you now. Looking down at your phone, you see the text and know Carlos is about to lose his mind. 

Call me. Love you buttercup 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lying on your bed, you stare at Max's contact. You want to call him, but you know Carlos is waiting for the party downstairs to die so he can slip away. Max had texted you multiple times since the afternoon, ranging from asking how dinner was to asking if you were angry with him. 

"Y/n?" Shooting up, you fix your shirt as your older brother Carlos pokes his head in. "I'm still awake." Carlos pushes the door wider, fitting his body through before closing it with no sound. "Do I need to ask, or will you tell me?" He moves from the door to lay on your bed, you following him. "Carlos, please don't make me." He huffs, his larger hand holding yours. "Why? Because you'll know what I'll say? And I will say it, pequeña." You sit up, staring at your phone screen. 

It lights up, Max's smiling face staring at you. Unable to look at it, you hit decline and mute it. "He's good to me, Carlos." Your brother snorts, rolling his eyes at those words. "So what? You know his reputation. He's a loose canon that doesn't care who he hurts. You'll be a casualty in his warpath." Carlos sits up, rubbing your shoulder as he stands. "Dump him, pequeña. He'll only hurt you." Carlos doesn't wait for an answer, leaving with a sense of accomplishment, thinking you'll dump Max. 

Standing, you look at yourself in the mirror. The small silver bracelet with a little lion hides slips from your sleeve, reminding you of the day Max gave it to you. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 months ago 

"Max, I'm going to be late. Carlos and Papa are strict about curfew." It was stupid, but the men in your family still gave you a curfew. You did have the good girl image as the youngest Sainz to uphold. "We've got 30 minutes. Besides, I can get us back in 5," Max smirks, tugging you through the crowded festival. 

Smiling, you tug him back, wrapping your other arm around the one holding your hand. Unable to help himself, he leans down, kissing you without a care who saw. "Come on. There is one stand I want to visit." High off the kiss, you nod as you move around the people. Max stops before this tiny little stand with an older woman making jewelry. 

"Excuse me, can you make this for me?" The older woman smiles, taking a slip of paper in Max's hand. Opening it, her smile grows as she nods and gets to work. "What's she making?" Max shushes you, kissing your ear. "Be patient, buttercup." Unable to stop the blush, you turn away, hiding your face in his side. Laughing, he kisses the top of your head as fireworks explode above. 

The older woman finishes what she is working on, handing it to Max. Pocketing it, he hands over more money than needed. Before the woman notices, Max tugs you away. "Where are we going?" You yell over the loud music and fireworks. "Somewhere, quiet." The farther you walk, the music starts to fade, but the fireworks still burst into colors above. You gasp, seeing a little gazebo with a pond around it. "Come on." He urges, pulling you out of your haze. 

The two of you run to the gazebo, you jumping up the ledge so you can look Max in the eye. "How'd I get so lucky?" Max whispers, wrapping his arms around your waist. "I think I should be asking that." With a hum, you rest your head on his chest, watching the fireworks. Max says nothing as you enjoy the show and others' warmth. "Oh, this is for you," Max whispers, leaning down to grab something from his pocket. 

"Max, you shouldn't have gotten me anything." Hating when he spends money on you. "Stop. You're the light in my life right now. Let me be the one to make it burn brighter." Shutting you up with a kiss. Pulling away with giggles, he places the silver bracelet in your palm, looking away. Peering at it, your heart squeezes as you stare at a little lion head dangling off it. 

"We can't always be together when we're so close, sooo," Max groans, shy at admitting this. "This will prove that even though I can't always be next to you, I'm here." Pointing at the lion's head, looking up, he stops seeing tears in your eyes. "It's perfect. I love you." Your eyes grow wide as you both take in what you have just said. 

"Oh, Max. God, it's so earlier. I'm so-" Words get swallowed as his lips mesh with yours, kissing away your apologies. "Don't apologize. I love you too, Y/n Sainz." The two of you laugh, losing yourself in one another. Curfew be damned. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Present Day 

"Stay away from Max. Today is a race day, we don't need you getting caught and your name being ruined." Your father hisses so others don't hear. So much for trusting Carlos. He told your father immediately, not even giving you a chance. "Yes, Papi." Your father nods and lets you go, heading to talk to your cousin and Carlos. 

Carlos looks at you smiling, but you lift your hand, flipping him off; no shame in showing off the bracelet Max gave you. Carlos's face turns sour, leaning in, whispering something to your father, who turns his face filled with rage. "Mama, going for a drink." Your mother waves you off, slipping through people, careful not to be spotted by cameras or media personnel. 

It was stupid and reckless. You knew that walking that way was asking for trouble. You just couldn't help it, wanting one glimpse of Max. Stepping back and into the shadows, cameras come rushing past saying they just saw Max. Looking up, you feel a presence behind you and a hand on your mouth. Letting out a scream, it's muffled as that warm voice soothes you. "Buttercup, it's me." Automatically your body relaxes into his.

"Max?" Chuckling, he drops his hand, spinning you around. Fingers going for the lion head rubbing it. "Papi and my family know." Max's smile falls, fingers still, and he steps back. "Oh." You hate that he's doing this. Shutting down and refusing to talk about this. "Max, hey." Grabbing his hand, you pull him back close. "Please don't shut down on me. Please, I don't care what my family says. I love you." Max sighs, looking down at you as he yanks you into a hug. 

"I love you too, but I don't want my reputation to harm you." He whispers into your hair, his racing heart calming by holding you in his arms. "Fuck that. I want you, Max. I picked you. You were my first and last choice." Max leans down, kissing the bracelet, then your lips. "I have to go. Race is about to start." You nod, giving him one last kiss as you watch him rush off. 

"Where were you?" You control the urge to roll your eyes at your brother. You're tired of hiding how you feel, and you weren't going to be ashamed of it. "I was with Max. If you have a problem with it, deal with it." You hiss before joining the rest of your family, refusing to say a word. 

"YES!" You knew it was wrong to scream loudly when Max crossed the line, a photo finish with your brother. You didn't care. Max deserved this win, but Carlos didn't. The backstabber needed to feel this sting, and you're glad he would. Ripping off the headphones, you make a run to parc ferme, only to be yanked back. 

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Your father snarls. "LET GO OF ME!" People turn, your father letting you go immediately as you take deep breaths. "I love him! I love him, Papi! He's the only one who understands me and is a good man! But you and Carlos are so blinded by the media and the rumors that you don't see how happy I am! So fuck you and this stupid image! I'm going to kiss the love of my life." Laughing, you turn, bolting off, watching Max jump out of the car, celebrating. 

"MAX!" Hearing your voice, his helmet turns, looking at you. Without a second thought, he rushes over, scooping you up, pulling you over the rails as you hug him tight. "I love you, I love you." You repeat before you lean back, kissing his helmet. You can see his eyes scrunch in happiness. 

"I don't care what people say; I don't care about your bad reputation. You're mine, good or bad. I choose you." Max laughs, spinning you around as people scream and cheer. From the corner of your eye, you see a red storm past, not even looking at you. He'll get over it. Even if he doesn't, you still have Max. 

[nereidprinc3ss]

Ok but I think you hit on something in “in the dead of night” about how Spencer leans into his mammalian instincts. Imagine him angry and tense after a rough day and needing that and then talking you through the motions of it and why it makes him feel better because of the science and chemicals behind it all

i absolutely love this!! thank you for requesting:)

also experimenting with a new short and sweet format for blurbs/request! feedback is always appreciated<3

wc 800

warnings: fem!reader, very suggestive, d/s dynamics

“I don’t—Spencer—”

Something in your mouth keeps you from finishing the sentence. Namely: your boyfriend’s tongue. You gasp into him as he tugs your jacket off, arching your back against the wall he’s pressed you to so that the fabric can hit the ground with a thick thud.

“Spence, please,” you manage, barely, as his hand cups your jaw and his thumb presses under your chin, encouraging you to angle your head up and make room for his lips. It’s not that you don’t want this—you told him he could be rough with you and you meant it—but you’re slightly overwhelmed by this uncharacteristic display of nearing aggressive passion.

“What, baby?” he breathes, nipping at the sensitive skin of your neck while his hands snake under your shirt. Focused on the feeling of his hand pressed against your waist, you allow your eyes to flutter shut.

“You’re acting… different.”

A pause—his head drops against your shoulder as he reigns himself in.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No—you don’t need to stop, I just… it might make me feel better if I knew what this was about.”

He sucks in a breath.

“You want to hear about my day?”

The way his fingers trail downward over your skin is so gentle it feels almost dangerous.

“… Yeah.” But you don’t at all sound sure of yourself. A hum from him seems to rattle your skull as he drags his lips up your neck and over your jaw, kissing you with a softness that is almost certainly deceptive.

“You know what, angel? I don’t actually really feel like talking about that right now. Does that tell you—” he bites your lip, and it doesn’t really hurt, but you whine anyway, “what kind of day I had?”

No words are forming for you anymore, so you make do with an airy “mhm.”

The first button at the bottom of your shirt is undone before you even realize he was unbuttoning it.

“Have you ever heard of the ventrolateral ventromedial hypothalamus?” Spencer murmurs, undoing the buttons on your shirt with a practiced expertise that is hard to keep up with—especially when he keeps teasing your lips with his like this. It doesn’t even matter if you’ve heard of that or not; all the information you’ve ever retained is gone from the stores of your brain. If it doesn’t have anything to do with Spencer, it feels deeply unimportant. You shake your head no. “The hypothalamus does a lot. It regulates our appetites, our body temperatures, hormones…”

Why is this so sexy.

“It also has a lot to do with how we express our emotions. And that tiny part of the hypothalamus—the one I just mentioned—it’s where we process two really big feelings.” He undoes the last button, gently pushing your open shirt from your shoulders. “Anger.” Hands creep around your hips, blindly unzipping your skirt. “And arousal.”

Oh!

“In a disregulated brain, that can be a dangerous combination. But,” he tugs the straps of your bra down, “if you understand it, you can use it to your advantage.”

Your breath is bated as you do the work of kicking off your shoes, and he unclasps your bra.

“The human brain is fallible in so many ways. At the end of the day, we’re delicate, and vulnerable, and convoluted—but we’re also pretty simple creatures, motivated by a few basic instincts. Anger and sex are intrinsic to who we are as animals. For most of history, they’ve defined us. And they’re so closely related. Do you follow?”

Your response comes as a gasp when you realize you haven’t been breathing for a long moment now.

“Yes.” Does it matter if you understand? You just want him to touch you.

“Good.” His lowered voice gets even quieter as he continues, brushing hair behind your ear carefully. “You know I would never, ever hurt you, right?”

“I know.”

You don’t remember how all your clothes ended up on the kitchen floor, but they’re certainly not on you anymore as he presses flush against your bare skin.

“I will always take care of you and keep you safe. That being said—sometimes the best thing you can do when you’re having a really big feeling is to follow that basic animal instinct. It’s why sprinting can help when you’re having a panic attack. Your body is in fight or flight and it will relax if you follow the instinct to run.”

Spencer’s fingers slip under the waistband of your underwear.

“I’ve been having some of those really big feelings today. Do you know what’s going to make me feel better?”

You whimper. Fabric slips past your hips and falls to the ground as Spencer begins closing the small distance between your mouths—but not before uttering a word that has your heart racing.

“You.”

[gardnhee]

edging with choi soobin !

𝜗𝜚 warning(s). pure FILTH, edging (duh), fluff, cursing, combination of praise and degradation, switch!soobin, yn is a little mean :(, soobin is a mess, cum eating, sloppy bj, soobin begs like… ALOT, intentional lowercase - lmk if i missed anything !

𝜗𝜚 switch!soobin x switch!afab!reader

𝜗𝜚 song rec(s). if you think im pretty - artemas, mmmh - kai

𝜗𝜚 wc. 1k

𝜗𝜚 note. yes this is absolute filth, no i am not ashamed. enjoy! ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა ♡

“f-fuck!” soobin whimpers as you pull your hand away for the nth time today, “baby please…” he breathed, “let me cum, please…” you give him a sly smile, earning a frustrated groan from him.

“you wanna cum?”

his head immediately snaps back to you, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “y-yes..” you grab his dick again, angry red from all the stimulation- or lack thereof- it's been receiving.

soobin moans, the back of his hand placed on his forehead while the other grips the sheets beneath him. his chest heaves, entirely naked as you’re fully clothed. at first he thought it was unfair, but right now that’s the least of his worries. he just wants to cum.

he doesn't know how long you’ve been on your knees, or how long he’s been sitting on the edge of the bed; all he knows is that the familiar coil is building up again. “t-thank you … princess!” soobin strains, violently shaking as his orgasm is right around the corner. within reach. it’s right there…all he needs to do is-

you take your hand away.

he pouts.

“what the hell-!”

“i didn’t say i was going to let you cum, i simply asked if you wanted to cum.”

soobin scowls at your snarky remark, both hands gripping the grey sheets, knuckles turning white.

you snort, “so pathetic.” his cock twitches as he whines, “such a whore.” you grimace, slapping his cheek gently. with your fingers now digging into both sides of his face, you smash your lips together, drinking up every unholy sound shared in between.

to say you were taken aback was far from what you actually felt. your boyfriend - now reduced to a moaning, drooling mess- didn’t believe you could get him to this state…oh he was terribly wrong.

“you … what?”

“i want you to take the lead today, yn.” soobin stared at you with intent, “i want to see what you can do.” he smirks, leaning over the table, dinner long forgotten.

“are you underestimating me, choi soobin?”

“hmmm, maybe? but you can always prove me wrong..” his eyes travel to your shared bedroom, jutting his chin towards it.

and that’s how you ended up here, straddling him as his hard on rests on your stomach, standing tall and proud as it desperately awaits its release.

“baby - mff - please…” tears are brimming his eyes.

“hm? please what?” you taunt him, you always taunt him, and he curses himself for liking it more than he could admit.

“i need it … please.” soobin hiccups, tears now falling from his lash line. you bite your lip as you feel his hands squeeze your ass. he just looked so…fucking good.

disheveled blonde hair, a sheer coat of sweat covering his body, and drool pooling at the corners of his mouth. just a mess. a moan inducing mess. you’re nothing away from handing him the reigns and letting him use you however he damn well pleased.

you sigh, “fine. fine! i’ll let you have it just this once.” he eagerly smiles, hugging you tight as he presses his face into your chest.

“thank you…” soobin’s tears seep into your - his - shirt, making you shudder as they made contact with the skin underneath.

“i was going to walk out on you just like you do to me, but i’m feeling generous today.” he playfully gasps as you reveal your initial plan, kneeling down between his thighs once more. you quietly wince as the pain flourishes again, spreading along your leg muscles considering you’ve been putting pressure on them for hours.

you grab his dick, heavy and hot in hand. one thing about your boyfriend, he’s big. like…big. making space for him in your mouth was always a challenge no matter how many times you’ve done just that; you’re beyond grateful that he guides you through it with small, breathy praises and coos.

“yeah…just like that…careful…” soobin’s voice turned husky, propping himself on his elbows as he watched you bob your head. his eyebrows knit together in pure concentration, relishing in the intense pleasure. teeth sink into his swollen lips, holding any and all noises from slipping.

you pop him out of your mouth, “don’t hold back, you haven’t until now…” his cheeks turn bright red, nodding obediently.

“good boy.” soobin gulps, following your every movement. you wrap your lips around his shaft, “ah!- be careful i’m sensitive…” he utters, body continuously shaking as you sink your head until your nose taps his pubic bone.

“f-fuck im close…”

you hum in approval, greedily ripping a loud hiss from his throat. “you’re s-so fucking…” he starts, head falling back, “so fucking good, baby…” hand flying up to your head, he pushes you down, gag emanating from your sore throat as more saliva dribbles down your chin and onto his base.

you swirl your tongue, feeling every prominent vein that basically pulsates to the touch. “‘m cumming…!” soobin announces, trembling as his orgasm hits him like a wave. incoherent words that you doubt could ever become proper sentences.

you smile as his load hits your throat. “don’t swallow, dollface.” he leans forward, cupping your cheeks, “open.” the blonde haired boy demands, “mmmh.” he smiles, kissing you passionately. the older male smirked against your skin as his juices fall on his tongue. the whole act of cum eating was so intriguing to him- beyond arousing, he thought.

“c’mere.” he wraps his arms around your waist, manhandling you to sit on him again. “it’s your turn, yeah?” your boyfriend says, eyes zeroing in on your neck, then your collarbones. “by the way, you look so sexy in my shirt.” he connects his lips to your supple skin as you feel yourself relax under his hold.

“soobin?”

“hm?”

“i love you.”

he pulls back, beaming smile tugging at his lips, “oh, baby, i love you more.” he gives you a quick peck.

“here, lay down,” he instructs.

“what are you planning?” you frown, brows quirking up in wonder.

“i want to return the favor.”

you shake your head, “no baby, it’s okay. i did this out of pure pleasure. i don’t expect anything back.”

“you sure, love?”

“yes, soobinnie. i want to cuddle.”

he lays in bed with you, completely disregarding the fact that he’s sweaty and naked. but you didn’t mind as you lie your head on his firm chest, falling asleep to his steady heartbeat.

© GARDNHEE 2024, do not copy, modify, or upload on other platforms

𝜗𝜚 big thanks from the bottom of my heart to my amazing proofreader @heartryuu 🤍🤍

𝜗𝜚 this was mainly a smut practice, im not the best at it just yet but i do intend to practice more. also im sorry if the ending felt rushed 🙁 i wrote it in a hurry!!! please like, comment, and reblog. i would highly appreciate that 🫶.

𝜗𝜚 taglist. @stvrliighttt @strawbvrrie @haob1ni (lmk if you’d like to be added to my taglist!!)

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: idol!jeonghan x idol!reader, fluff, smut, afab reader, paris fashion week, established relationship, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

a/n: this is kinda a non-chronological continuation to this, but can be read as a standalone!

wc: 1433

masterlist

idol!jeonghan and idol!you who had been dating for a while and were now both scheduled to appear at paris fashion week together as ysl ambassadors.

after pining for each other for a few months (and very unnecessarily waiting for each other at the elevators every morning in hopes of seeing one another), the both of you had finally confessed your feelings, now discreetly dating accordingly to the company's policies.

you had followed their rules; kept your hands and eyes off each other in public spaces, and even keeping a distance around any staff or idols who were not privy to your relationship.

although you had the best imaginable situation in the world of idol dating (same industry, same company, same building, same friend groups and such), you and jeonghan still were unable to lead a regular relationship. your constantly clashing schedules left much to be desired when it came to seeing each other past those elevator rides whenever you were both in korea (yes, you still made it a point to see each other at the elevators every morning).

busy with comebacks, individual schedules, overseas performances, promotions, brand deals, and many other things, you and jeonghan hadnt been able to see each other for a few weeks now, going insane at the lack of contact.

it wasnt until paris fashion week that you found your schedules finally aligning, with both of you receiving invitations to attend paris fashion week under ysl's sponsor, even promoting together due to being part of the same company. with no legal conflicts about brands or companies, you and jeonghan basically had free reign over how much time you spent together in the public eye while in paris. this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for you to parade around with each other without any public scrutiny, knowing you could chalk up any interaction between you to being in the same company and sponsoring the same brand.

after having attended the main event, you and jeonghan went out to eat with your managers, followed by a romantic walk in paris under the watchful eye of your bodyguards (hey, at least you were in paris with your boyfriend!). after a few hours you finally ended up heading back at the hotel.

despite having booked separate rooms due to your relationship still being a secret to the public, you and jeonghan found yourselves running to his room, wanting to get your hands on each other after weeks of not even sharing a bed together.

that is how he now had you in your designer dress, panties ripped off, pressed up against the wall. him on his knees as he attempted to pull a second orgasm out of you with his skilled tongue.

"you looked so pretty today, angel. everyone had their eyes on you," his speech was muffled as he pressed endless kisses and licked at your thighs, keeping his lips close to where you wanted him most.

"no ... you."

he chuckles at this. "yeah? me? okay, whatever my pretty angel says."

"hannie .. more, please ..." you begged, feeling your core pulsing against his tongue as he lightly licked at you, slowly grinding yourself against it.

"okay, pretty. let me take you to bed, yeah?," he unglued himself from you, making you whine petulantly at the interruption of the stimulation on your clit.

once he led you to bed, he undressed you and laid you down, wrapping your legs around his figure as he leaned down to kiss your kips softly.

"pretty, let me see those eyes. keep them open for me, baby. wanna see you. wanna see my angel."

his words always made you melt. he treated you like the biggest luxury one could ever afford, always letting you know how good you were for him and how beautiful you were to him.

despite the difficult task, you opened your eyes to meet the look of adoration he always reserved only for you. his hair disheveled due to your hands pulling at it desperately earlier.

you used all the strength in your legs around him to get him to press himself even further against you, feeling his bare length press up against your stomach, the thought of it inside you after so many weeks making you cry out.

you tried to grind your hips against him from below, but the angle didnt allow for any friction between you in the places you needed him the most, making you annoyed at his lack of trying.

"please .. want it so bad. missed you so fucking bad," you closed your eyes again and threw your head back, frustrated at the lack of friction.

"aigoo .. does my poor angel want me? want me to make you feel good, pretty? tell me. tell me what you want from me," he swiped his thumb under your chin in a mocking way, enjoying your desperation for him despite knowing he wanted you just as bad.

before you could even answer, he readjusted himself above you and positioned his dick at the perfect angle to rub against your clit as he lightly dragged his hips against yours.

"fuck me, hannie. please. thought about you every night. wanted you so bad ..."

you continued your whining as he gave you the barest minimum of pleasure, wanting nothing more than to be filled by the handsome man who had just been stealing the hearts of anyone walking the parisian streets alongside you just a few hours ago.

growing frustrated of his own teasing, jeonghan separated himself from you once more and gently positioned you on your knees and elbows, adjusting himself behind you.

he felt you up and rubbed his hands all over your back and ass before entering you, wanting to worship the body he hadnt had the chance to hold in his hands for weeks due to your cursed schedules.

before long he entered you, letting out a breath of relief at the feeling of your tight walls enveloping him while you threw your head back at the pleasurable intrusion. he kept a slow and deep pace for the first few minutes, wanting to enjoy your warmth for as long as he could.

"god .. fuck, baby, you take it so good. so fucking good for me. my angel," he rambled, losing all composture as he began to sped up, bruising your hips with his tight grip on them.

you continuously pushed back against him, wanting to pull even more and more pleasure from him.

soon, you felt jeoghan's voice become high pitched as he neared his high, slapping his hips against your ass at an even faster speed, eyes rolling back at the pleasure you provided him by just giving yourself to him.

his pretty angel, he thought. so good and pliant for him. letting him do whatever he wanted as he let you know how much of a sweet thing you were for him.

he came before you, but swiftly flipped you around to shove his fingers inside you, rubbing at your clit rapidly as he chased your second orgasm of the night. you cried as he lowered his head to your breast and licked around it before lightly pulling at it with his teeth, alternating breasts as he fingered you.

"h-hannie fuck i'm- i'm gonna cum. dont stop. please!"

"dont worry, angel. cum for me. be good for me and give me another one," he breathed against your chest before pulling away to look into your eyes once more. "cum for me and i promise ill give you more and more until they have to drag us back to seoul. gonna steal you and keep you, angel, all for me."

his possessive words of affirmation were what finally did you in, wanting nothing more than to relive this weekend away with him over and over again, imagining a future where you and jeonghan would never have to be away from each other.

after allowing you to catch your breath, jeonghan left the room to get tissues to clean you up, proceeding to tuck you under the covers before joining you. with his arms wrapped around you, you turned to him and kissed his nose, playing with his hair as you both attempted to fall into peaceful slumber together

"missed this too," whispered jeonghan.

"missed what?"

"this. holding you in your sleep. cant sleep right without you anymore."

you felt your heart soar, knowing how much of a picky sleeper jeoghan was and feeling touched at knowing he missed your touch as much as you did his.

"wish i could stay here with you like this forever," you pouted as you pressed your face into his neck, breathing him in.

"one day, angel. one day."

a/n: not proofread! this is just word vomit atp

[supermarketbae]

sub whiny reader waking billy up in the middle of the night begging billy to fuck her. she’s sooooo horny for him she can’t wait, billy is mean cus she interrupted her sleep 🫣🫣🫣 I’ll let u take the reigns. UGHHHH I need this

Late Night Whispers

and other ways to keep him up

a/n: uhm helllloooooo now I need this too! 😭

warnings: smut, sub!reader, dom!Billy, praise, manhandling, or female anatomy of reader, slight(ish) breeding kink… uhm I think that’s about it

a/n: Idk what’s upppp I just couldn’t make him that mean in this one 🤷🏾‍♀️ but anyhooo if you don’t like it submit another request and scream at me or sum

A warm, slick, and to be frank, quite unwelcome heat was swirling in your belly. Of course, you had attempted to ignore this pounding feeling that caressed up your curving thighs and up to the source of your plush arousal in your cunt. Rubbing  your thighs together you ultimately make the problem worse as the slight friction kisses against your twitching clit in just the right way. Letting out a shaky sigh you roll over scooting to Billy—your boyfriend’s— sleeping figure. Needily, you nuzzle your head into his broad chest. 

Your lips quirk into a smirk that usually mirrors his, at the scent that is so distinctly him that you just have to smile. But, at the ever present tightness deep in your tummy, you nudge Billy’s arm once again, wanting nothing more than to be pounded into the mattress until all you remembered was his name and the dull ache in your cunt turned into the trembling of your thighs. 

“Billy…baby…” Your soft exhale ghosts quietly in the darkened room but nevertheless reaches his ears. You smile a light blush filling your cheeks as Billy’s strong arms tighten around you protectively “what’s wrong darlin’” the husky mumble has you keening and you subconsciously buck your hips back into his. At this, Billy chuckles darkly a sharp smile gracing his features as his large hands slip up your stomach to your tits, squeezing teasingly and slow.  “Such a needy fuckin’ thing angel.” His deep whisper goes straight to your cunt and once more, you clench around nothing. 

To your pleasure, Billy pulls down your shorts slowly, not even bothering to rid you of your panties before he thrusts into you evenly.

You let out a sluggish moan at this, boneless at the sensation of Billy’s thick girth. “Please—ah— just use me.” You moan tiredly, letting Billy’s strong hands guide your hips in the way he likes—slow, hard, deep strokes that have you clenching needily around him. “So fucking tight sweetheart—fuckkkk— so good-such a good girl.” 

Billy’s moans to you are deep, slurred drawls his tired state indicated on how clingy he was being. “Always take my cock so good baby~” he coos to your writhing form as he continues to piston into you. You mewl at his words nodding, at this point already cock drunk. The only thing you could do was bring yourself to claw at Billy’s large back as his hips continued to rut quickly into yours as your back arches up into his once more Billy sighs out a soft whine “I love you s—fuck— so fucking much.” The hazy admission has your mouth wobbling, forming a wide, pleasured smile and the warm giggle that slips out from your shivering body has Billy grabbing your face with reverent hands to kiss at any skin he can reach. 

As your breath comes out choppy and uneven, you ground yourself for just a second longer to keen out your reply, “I love you too.” Your breathy voice has Billy groaning. “Sweetheart— fuck— don’t- I’ll fucking cum.” Biting your lip sweetly you shake your head impishly at Billy’s warning. He loved hearing you say how you loved him. “You d-don’t want—ah- to hear that I love you Billy?” Each word punched out by a harsh thrust that hit your g-spot each time. Billy shudders as you say it again, a small whimper leaving his plump lips. “You don’t want to hear—mmm—th-that I love your cock?” Billy nearly growls at your words hand coming to play at your clit, your lips tremble, but you continue to talk.

“Doesn’t this cock love this pussy baby?” Before you can even get another word out Billy cuts you off “F-fuck yes— fuck yes I do sweetheart-you know I do.” His breathing comes out raggedly. Instinctively, feeling the tightened coil of your oncoming orgasm begin to unravel you wrap your legs around Billy’s waist. You want him closer. You need him closer. You cry out as Billy bites into your shoulder “I love you Billy.” You say breathily as he grips your hips tighter impaling you on his cock as he spills his cum inside of you. His hand continues to rock circular motions on your clit and not a moment later, your cumming hard moaning his name hoarsely. As you pant, you’re vaguely aware of his hands tracing your cheeks as you come down from your high. Smiling down at your stupefied expression Billy smirks. “Love you more sweet thing.”

[thebirdandthebee]

Aw Honey Honey (18+)

A Jake “Hangman” Seresin one-shot based on the above prompt + “Does he not know that we’re together?” This is unedited and a little corny, but I think it turned out cute! Smut and fluff ahead! 18+ only. If you enjoyed it, please don't keep it to yourself :)

Title: Aw Honey Honey Jake Seresin isn’t sharing his Sugar. WC: 3085

To some people you were the cute girl who worked in the corporate office of community engagement on base at Miramar. To others, you were Lieutenant Commander Jake Seresin’s very serious, long-term girlfriend.

While you weren’t enlisted, you felt spoiled that you had an office on base, but weren’t tethered to quite the same rules and restrictions that your boyfriend, or his group of friends were obligated to abide by. Sure, you didn’t have free reign, but you often used your office as a hideout for your friends and colleagues during the day when they needed a place to relax for a few minutes.

Of course, there was work to do as well. You were in the thick of scheduling sailors and aviators alike to visit classrooms at elementary schools next week for Read Across America Day. Everyone got a class to visit from kindergarten through fifth grade, would read a Dr. Seuss book out loud, and then left a copy for each child to take home. It was one of your favorite days of the year.

“Knock, knock,” looking up from your computer, you saw Dean ‘Hooper’ Lennox, one of the newest aviators to join the elite fighter weapons school – or Top Gun.

“Hi Dean,” you smiled warmly, gesturing to the open seat across from you desk. “How ya doin’?”

“I’m good, how are you?” He asked, forgoing the chair and leaning against your desk.

“Happy it’s Friday,” you replied, leaning back in your chair and crossing one leg over the other, missing the way he glanced at your bare legs.

“Big plans this weekend?” he asked, reaching over flicking this finger across the top of your pen cup.

“I think some friends and I will hit The Hard Deck tonight,” you replied, opening up a desk drawer to pull out a Milky Way, breaking it in half and handing the other over to him. He grinned as he dropped it into his mouth as you enjoyed your treat as well.

“I’m sure we’ll end up there, too,” he added, eyes zeroing in on a thread of caramel on the corner of your mouth. “Maybe I can buy you a drink,” he reached down, running his thumb over your soft skin. You blushed with embarrassment; you must have looked ridiculous with candy on your face.

“Never say no to a free drink,” you laughed.

“Hey there,” you looked around Dean’s body to see Natasha’s head in your doorway.

“Hi Phee,” you grinned, “we’re having a candy break,” you explained.

“Love some sugar, huh Hooper?” Phoenix asked, “I think Rooster’s looking for you,” she added.

“See ya tonight,” Dean smiled, giving you a wink before disappearing from your office. Phoenix dropped into the chair opposite your desk.

“Milky Way or 100 Grand?” You asked, opening up your drawer.

“You know I want the Milky Way,” Phoenix replied with a flat look, opening her hand palm-up. You tossed one her way and she easily caught it, tearing it open. “Hooper visit you often?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah once and a while,” you shrugged.

“He always get right in your space like that?” She followed up.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged.

“I miss candy hour?” Jake asked, standing in the open door way.

“Hi babe,” you greeted, “candy hour is just starting,” you insisted, opening your drawer once again and fishing out a Baby Ruth bar.

“Thanks Sugar,” Jake said, walking over and kissing your cheek gently as he took the treat from you.

“You just missed Hooper,” Phoenix announced, giving her teammate a pointed look.

“Big loss,” Jake commented, not having a particular taste for the newbie.

“Yeah, he was getting some sugar from your Sugar,” Natasha added. You rolled your eyes with a laugh. Jake whipped around to look back at you, taking a bite out of his candy bar.

“Does he not know that we’re together?” He asked, his green eyes looking rather focused.

“Well it’s not like I introduce myself as Jake Seresin’s girlfriend,” you laughed, flipping your laptop back open.

“Well you could,” Jake said as if it was the obvious thing in the world.

“Phee, back me up here,” you said, looking for some female solidarity. Phoenix shrugged, planting her feet back on the ground and standing up.

“I don’t know, I think he wants to fuck you,” Phoenix said, “but I’ve got reports to file, so that’s my cue – see you all tonight.”

“Bye Phee,” you sighed, looking back up at Jake whose gaze had really focused back on you.

“Why does Phoenix think Hooper wants to fuck you?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Baby, he came in here to get some candy and asked me if I had any weekend plans,” you said plainly, standing up from your desk, “Phoenix is being ridiculous – besides, what do I care what Dean thinks?” You wound your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his chest. “I’ve got you,” You smiled, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw.

Jake gave in, draping his arms down over your shoulders and hugging you against him.

“Is it the weekend yet?” He asked, lacing his hand up into your hair, giving it a gentle tug.

“Tonight will be fun,” you insisted. “But for now, back to work, Hangman,” you laughed, landing an open palm on his ass.

“I’m reporting you,” Jake frowned, leaning down to press a hot kiss to your mouth, “see you at home.” He gave your hair one more little tug before disappearing. Dropping back down to your desk, you glanced at the clock. The workday couldn’t end soon enough.

You beat Jake home that afternoon, immediately changing out of your work clothes and into a pair of Jake’s shorts and a tank top. You were throwing together a cheese quesadilla in the kitchen when you heard the front door open again.

“Sugar?” He called out, “where ya hidin’ baby?” he wandered into the kitchen, already unbuttoning his khaki shirt.

“Hi handsome,” you grinned, greeting him with a kiss. “Want a lil snack?” you asked, brandishing your spatula in the air.

“I got a lil snack right here,” he said, chasing your lips with a kiss.

“What time are we meeting everyone?” You asked, “do we have time for a quick shower?”

“Sugar, you know we always have time for a shower,” Jake grinned.

“Split this with me,” you commanded, transferring the quesadilla to a plate, the cheese gooey and hot. Carefully cutting it in half, Jake gladly let you feed him bite by bite.

“How about we go away next weekend?” Jake said, gladly chowing down on the snack you made.

“Where do you want to go, babe?” You reached up, swiping at the corner of Jake’s mouth with a napkin.

“Go up the coast, stay in Malibu for a couple days,” he said, “get a little tan.”

“I’m in,” you nodded. “Love seeing you in those little euro swim trunks,” you winked. Jake scoffed with a shake of his head, tossing his plate in the sink and taking your last bite.

“You have ten seconds to strip and get in the shower,” he pointed to the bathroom down the hall. When Jake meant business, he meant business, so you skedaddled through the house, losing your shorts and top along the way. He’d grab them anyway, Jake Seresin was an unbearable clean freak.

You’d just stepped into the stream of water when you felt Jake’s hands on your waist, shortly followed by his breath in our ear.

“Hi Sugar,” he whispered, holding back the shower curtain as he stepped in.

“Hi Jake,” you grinned, turning to face him, the hot water beating down on your back.

“You been a good girl today?” He asked, pushing your hair back from your face.

“Always are,” you insisted, giving him those big doe eyes he always loved.

“Don’t like you being sweet to Hooper,” He said, walking you back to press you against the shower wall. The tile was cold and he welcomed your arched gasp, pressing your body against his hips-first.

“Can’t help being nice, babe, it’s my nature,” you reminded, “seem to recall when you enjoyed me being so sweet to you.” You’d met Jake two years ago around this time, when he came barreling into your office about a community event, asking a favor for support, when he stuck around for some homemade caramels.

“Your sugar is just for me,” he said, fingers trailing down your stomach to your sex, swiping two fingers through your wet folds before bringing them up to his mouth. “My favorite,” he complimented. “Let’s see if you’re sweet everywhere.”

Your hands found purchase in his blonde hair as his lips traveled from your lips to your jaw to your neck. Sucking gently, you gasped as his teeth grazed your delicate skin.

It was all you could do to run your hands up and down his sculpted back, water cascascading across his muscles as he traveled around your neck and collarbone.

“Jake,” you whined gently, impatience thick in your throat.

“Come on, honey girl,” he hoisted you up, hands planted firmly on your ass as he forced your legs around his waist. When he slid his cock home, you sighed with relief. “There you are,” he huffed into your ear, “there’s my sweet girl,” he could feel his lungs expand in his chest.

“I gotta shampoo,” you reminded, eyes going cross for a moment as he stroked up into you. “Are you seriously thinking about shampoo right now?” Jake asked.

“No, baby,” you giggled at his affronted tone, but gasped as he doubled his efforts, hitting just the right spot inside of you relentlessly. “Jake,” you moaned.

“That’s better,” he grit out, legs shaking beneath him. He liked to think he was in fairly good shape, but the way your sex clenched around him had Jake second-guessing himself. “God you feel incredible, Sugar,” his brows knit in concentration.

Acclimated to the temperature of the tile against your back, you returned your hands to his hair, soothing the lines of his forehead from pure concentration.

“Fucking me so good,” you encouraged, head tilting back against the wall. “Always fuck me so good,” your hand gripped the back of Jake’s neck, fingertips stroking the fine hair there.

“Come on baby, give me that sugar,” he grunted, fingers returning to your clit, making you jump. Jake knew your body better than you, and he could tell, as your right heel dug into his lower back, that you were close. He pressed his forehead into your neck as he came, hips stuttering erratically, mindful to fuck you through his orgasm. With shaking hands, he swirled around your clit just right, shouting as you came, squeezing him in a way that caused black spots in his vision.

Jake, on unsteady legs, gently set you down, the shower filled with billows of steam.

Lazily looping your arms around his neck, he kissed you slowly, savoring the taste of your mouth.

“Lemme shampoo you,” you whispered, making him honk out a loud laugh.

“I swear you love your shampoo more than me,” He said, pressing a firm kiss to your lips.

“Baby, not more than you,” you murmured, “just as much.” A loud squeal ripped from your mouth as he slapped your ass.

Twenty minutes later, you were throwing a summery strapless maxi dress on, tying your hair back into a low bun.

“Babe?” You called for Jake, who was grabbing fresh clothes from the laundry room. He dutifully stepped into the bedroom, taking your necklace and clasping it around your neck wordlessly – a habit he was all too accustomed to. Appearing in the bathroom mirror, you frowned as you saw how red and splotchy your skin was from Jake’s ministrations, but applied minimal makeup nonetheless.

“Your boobs look good,” he commented, stepping behind you, hands cupping your breasts over your dress.

“Jake,” you laughed, “get out of the way or I’m going to get perfume on you,” you warned. He gave your breasts a quick squeeze before heading down the hall.

You still had twenty minutes or so until you needed to leave, so you’d grabbed the mail and sorted through a few items before picking up the living room and packing your purse for the night.

Jake busied himself in the office before Coyote text him that they were leaving quarters to hit the bar.

“Sugar, time to leave,” he instructed, pulling you from your pile of newspaper coupons. He held your hand as you stepped into your shoes, bringing you a little closer to his height.

You rode alongside him in he car, leaning into his side with an arm over your shoulder. You were grateful for the weekend and the chance to unwind. Planning for the reading event had taken a lot out of you this week and you were ready for the chance to decompress.

Upon arriving at The Hard Deck, Jake grasped your hand, leading you inside. It was already packed for the night, Fridays being the most popular time, and Jake spotted Coyote over near one end of the bar with Harvard and Fritz.

“Oh, there’s Tasha – I’ll meet you,” you assured, rocking up to your toes to peck Jake’s lips. “Buy me a beer?” You asked, already crossing the bar. Jake shook his head with a smile, knowing he’d get you anything you asked for.

“What the hell happened to you?” Natasha asked as a greeting. You looked back over you shoulder, wondering if she was talking to you.

“What?” You asked, brows furrowed, “me?”

“You look like you got fucking mauled,” she laughed sardonically, eyeing you up. Looking down, you could see the faintest yellow mark just below your collarbone. Grabbing Natasha’s phone, you flipped the camera to selfie-mode. Over the last half an hour, your red splotches had developed into yellow-green bruises all of your neck and collarbone. “What the fuck?” you laughed, rolling your eyes, “Jake.” You supplied as an answer. “It’s your fault actually,” you said pointedly, angling your body away from the bar.

“My fault?” Natasha asked, eyes wide.

“Yes! Jake got all in my business after you told him Hooper wants to fuck me,” you gave her a meaningful look.

“Well Hooper does want to fuck you,” she said plainly. “Here,” she grabbed her jean jacket off the high top next to her. “This will piss Jake off,” she grinned.

“I don’t really care what he thinks, I just look ridiculous,” you shrugged it on – letting it rest on your shoulders without looping your arms through the sleeves.

You and Natasha caught up for a bit longer, you leaning an elbow against the countertop.

After a good fifteen minutes, you noticed Hooper approaching from over Natasha’s shoulder, and you stood a little straighter.

“No drink in your hand?” He asked with a wide smile.

“Oh, her friend is getting her one,” Natasha smiled knowingly.

“Sure I can’t buy you one? I did offer,” he said, giving her a smile like butter wouldn’t melt. Maybe he was flirting with her after all.

“You’re sweet, but I’m all set,” you reassured.

“Can’t wait for the Read Across America event next week,” he said excitedly, a genuine smile reflecting in those blue eyes. You weren’t blind – Hooper was an attractive man - ocean eyes, fluffy dark brown hair and a chin cleft that harkened back to old Hollywood. He just wasn’t your Jake.

“Yeah, you been practicing your ABCs?” Natasha asked snarkily. You tossed her a look that screamed be nice!

“I’m glad! Not everyone jumps at the chance to entertain a class of 20 six-year olds,” you smiled.

“I’ve got a big family, lots of siblings – I also volunteer as Big Brother out of the San Diego chapter of Big Brothers Big Sisters,” he elaborated, watching the smile on your face grow.

“Yeah, you read to orphans, too?” Natasha asked, sipping her beer. You caught her eye, just to see her expression change and a feline grin take over her face.

“Hi there,” you could spot Jake’s voice anywhere. “Brought your favorite,” he said, setting a summer shandy down on the counter next to your elbow.

“Thanks Jake,” you smiled. “Dean was just telling us about how he volunteers at Big Brothers Big Sisters, isn’t that just the sweetest?” You asked, looking up and over your shoulder at him.

“The sweetest,” Jake grinned that cocky smirk that made you wonder what he was going to do next. “Sugar are you not sweatin’ in here with that jacket on?” He asked, gingerly taking the shoulder seams in his hands and dragging it off of your body, folding it in half and tossing it over the same chair it originally laid across.

There was no missing Hooper’s expression as he eyed up the gallery of color across your neck and décolletage.  

“Yeah, I um –” He watched, clearing his throat as Jake snaked his arms around your waist from behind, dropping a kiss down on your bare shoulder. “Started back at my old chapter in Kansas City, but transferred here… when I moved.” He finished lamely.

“That’s so kind of you, I wish I could do more philanthropically, but I get to fill that cup through work, so it’s a big bonus,” you smiled, Jake’s body pressed so tightly up against your back, there wasn’t room for even a piece of paper to slip between you. Natasha’s grin was downright wicked from behind the rim of her glass, the glint in her eyes absolutely entertained.

“She’s a real sweet girl,” Jake commented. “Sugar sweet,” he finished, squeezing your waist in hand.

“I think Tanker and Mad Dog are starting up a game of pool,” he said, eyes darting all around – “I’ll see you guys later, have a great night.” He practically left a cloud of smoke in his wake.

“Jacob Seresin,” you scolded, turning in your boyfriend’s grip. Natasha burst into laughter.

“Yes?” He asked, tipping his chin up to look down at you, that same cocky smirk on his face.

“You’re unbelievable you know that?” You asked.

“Better believe it,” he grinned.

“And what is all this?” You gestured to your colorful skin.

“I think it turned out quite well, wouldn’t you agree, Phoenix?” He asked.

“You’re a real piece of work, Bagman,” she shook her head, but smiled nonetheless.

“What am I going to do with you, huh?” You asked, leaning forward.

“You can start by giving me some sugar.”

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed Aw Honey Honey, you might also like Mighty Fine!

[gojosatoruwifey]

ㅡglub glub glub glub glub

✑ happy happy happy birthday to our red fishie ♡(◕ᗜ◕✿) as usual, this fic is written the day before my finals exam (・ω ・✿)

✿ warning/s: fluff, short, blushy! rafayel is the best rafayel, simps, let me know if i missed something!

✿ character/s: rafayel, fem! reader

📜🖋️🎀SUPPORT MY KO-FI🎀🖋️📜

it’s his birthday so you follow what he does that makes your heart skip a beat

rafayel is in for a surprise.

he already suspected that you’re doing something fishy behind his back, especially the date in the calendar that tells him that his birthday is around the corner. a good boyfriend that he is, he will just let you do your thing.

rafayel didn’t, in fact, see this coming. 

the smooch landing on his cheek was so swift that if he didn’t know you’re standing before him, waist bent down as you put your weight to your one arm and the other retrieving a small pillow beside him — he is thinking to check himself into the mental ward, complain to the doctor there that he is having a hallucination of you kissing him randomly and so suddenly at that as he lazily sprawled to the couch, phone in hand.

you, with all your might, maintained a composed face as if you didn’t just copy one of your boyfriend’s cute antics that he is unaware makes your thoughts haywire. rafayel’s gradient stellar eyes stare wide at you, perplexing surprise swirling behind those beautiful pools as he looks up at you from the couch.

a successful cheer erupted inside your mind. satisfied with his reaction, calling forth every cell in your brain to commit his face to memory. rafayel’s reddening cheeks all the way to his ears, doe eyes round and shiny. 

turning on your back with the pillow hugged by your arms, you act like you don’t mind him and continue on your way.

success!

to be honest, when rafayel gets whiny, begging for attention or dragging you to a spontaneous date, it awakens a dormant beast within you.

so, when it’s your turn to act cutesy around him, you’re looking forward to it.

internally, rafayel is losing his mind. whose fault is it? you, who else. what in the world have you been up to? your recent actions have become unpredictable and difficult for him to anticipate.

you're doing it again! he bit his lower lips he’s afraid blood would soon appear as you had a python grip on his arm, pouty and sulky dripping on your voice, “i want that one, win me artsy birb plushie! please? rafayel?”

“i…” where did his usual nonchalant of a bodyguard go.

he felt you get closer, “i will! i will!” rafayel maneuver the claw, his arm still pressed to your body, clinging to him. oblivious to the grin curled on your lips. the heat on his cheeks and ears hasn’t gone away, staying there much to his chagrin.  if he were to glance at the couple in the reflection of the claw machine plush’s glass, he might have not missed it.

another success!

now, onto the last one. you are not so sure how to proceed with this one. it’s not that you’re not confident to pull this move to him but rather, how to make the timing right. should it be on the day? to have better lighting? what of the place? should you hold this in the destiny cafe or at his home or yours? a date is a go-to since you can create a more romantic atmosphere so a date it is, then. you nodded to yourself.

on the other hand, rafayel’s heart will explode the more he lets you hold the reign. it's bad for his health. what will happen to linkon were their precious artist gets sick? he will blame you, really.

if you pull another one…

shit, he curses. it's late morning, brunch, unoccupied second floor with just the two of you, the muffled tappings of laptop keys below, the occasional bell ring when a customer enters and the staff greeting them, the beeping indicator of the hot water in the kitchen, the sound of beans hitting the bottom of the container, the rush of coffee cascaded in a cup.

and the warm sunlight pouring into the table where you two are sitting.

a finger lightly brushed the strands of his hair near his eyes. rafayel watches mutely. the words he has been practicing and the dramatic actions he thought last night are gone in an instant. you move away from the strays as you make eye contact with him, muttering, “there. i can see you better. don’t look down like that or you will hurt your neck.”

red bursts completely all over his face. steam coming out of his head.

“what’s the matter with you? you look like reddie.”

k.o!

[mncxbe]

Hello if possible maybe Akutagawa, Chuuya and Dazai when reader drags them out to a lingerie store with them and gives them free reign of what they can pick out for reader

oh my I absolutely love this prompt. I hope you like it♡♡

Victoria's secret

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂, 𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff/ a little bit of dirty talk♡

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂

let's start off with our favourite mafioso

you're on a date in town and suddenly spot a newly opened Victoria's Secret store and you just have to take advantage of the situation

as soon as you enter the shop Akutagawa blushes so much and although he tries to hide it you notice

please don't tease him about it too much he'll straight up leave

he's a big fan of black or white laced lingerie and slip dresses, anything elegant and cute; but also has a thing for body harnesses and leather accessories (the port mafia influences)

he ends up buying you a few items that he carefully picked and you both like

One day you're walking around town after Akutagawa finished work. It was late afternoon and the city was bathed in a shimmer of gold and orange hues. Just as you were about to leave the crowded boulevard you were on, a glowing sign caught your eye; it was a newly open Victoria's secrets store.

Without a warning you seized your boyfriend's wrist and dragged him towards the shop.

"We have to go in there Ryu. Come on" you said in a chipper voice.

At first Akutagawa was confused by your sudden actions and words, but then his gaze fell upon the magenta glass that made up the exterior walls of the shop and the 'newly opened' banner that hanged below the store's name; his body grew stiff.

"There's no way I'm going in there" he said in an annoyed voice, causing you to turn and face him.

"Aww come on Ryu they just opened and-"

"No. I'm not stepping foot in that place for nothing. Please, let's keep walking"

"But we'll only stay for a minute" you pressed as you clinged to his arm, leaning closer to whisper in his ear. "I'll let you choose something nice for me, ok? Whatever you want and I promise I'll wear it next time we-"

"Ok ok I got it" he interrupted, trying to conceal the blush that began to tint his face with the back of his hand. "Let's go then."

With that, Akutagawa walked towards the store with you following close behind. A sense of uneasiness creeped into your boyfriend's body as he entered the store; the place was packed with drawers upon drawers of lingerie, faceless mannequins wearing matching colourful sets and flimsy nightgowns and clothing racks bearing dresses.

You spared Akutagawa a quick glance. His face was contorted in a doubtful expression, nose scrunched in disgust.

"I really can't understand how anyone could enjoy... this?" he said, motioning towards the display. "Anyway, let's see what we can find for you."

There weren't many people in the store so you could easily move around maze of shelves and boxes. Akutagawa's demeanour slowly relaxed as he kept digging through the drawers packed with lingerie, carefully considering each piece; at some point you left to look around the store yourself.

Around twenty minutes later he returned to you carrying a baby pink bag.

"All done love. We can leave now." he said, handing you the bag.

You eagerly reached for it, attempting to remove the fluffy material that had been placed on top of the items but he brushed your hand away.

"Wait until we get home, ok? Be patient"

You let out a displeased groan but ultimately closed the handbag. Fingers gently intertwined, you made your way back to your apartment.

Once inside you seated yourself on your cushioned sofa and eagerly opened the bag. It contained two sets of laced lingerie: one of them was fully back and the other one was white, adorned with black and silvery rose patterns. The fabric was soft and lightweight, like a leaf.

"Wow Ryu they're beautiful. I love them so much" you beamed, pulling him into a tight hug. "You're amazing love"

"Wait, there's more." he said in a suggestive voice, reaching inside the pocket of his coat to procure a package. "I just couldn't help myself when I saw it."

You raised an eyebrow at him as you began to unwrap the light pink paper; it opened like a cherry blosson, revealing a strappy bodysuit. The thing lines of leather were bound together by shining circles of metal A blush rose to your cheeks.

"I- uh. It's really pretty love. I didn't know you liked this stuff tho"

"I love it, darling" he said in a honeyed voice, a hint of desire flashing in his eyes. "Now go ahead and try it on dear. The night is still young."

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

he's such a tease

he doesn't have that much money so he'll only buy you one or two sets but they're picked so carefully

but if he has more cash one week he'll surely get one of those silly animal print panties from the sales section

I feel like Dazai likes beige lingerie the most or those white see-through pieces with butterfly patters♡

trying on the clothes once you get back home is a must; like you're putting on a fashion show for him

It was a wonderful Sunday afternoon and your lovely boyfriend decided to skip work again to join you for a cup of coffee in town.

"Ah my bella if you keep tempting me with all these hangouts I'll surely lose my job" he said in an overly dramatic voice.

"You know the Agency needs you, so don't stress it. Plus, I hardly ever get a free day from work myself. Let's just enjoy it ok?"

Your remark caused a smirk to rise to Dazai's lips. The two of you quietly sipped your coffee before resolving to take a walk around town. As you strolled around the busy city, you suddenly spotted a lingerie store and an idea popped into your mind.

"Say, Osamu" you began in a tender voice "Don't you think you deserve a reward for skipping work today?"

"Oh really? And what exactly do you have in mind, bella?" he replied with a miscievous smile on his face.

You pointed at the lingerie store. "I'll let you buy anything you want me to wear."

Your sweet boyfriend could barely contain his excitement as he took your hand in his and began walking towards the store. "Well then let's hurry bella. I only have an hour until I have to get back to the office."

You've been in a Victoria's Secret shop before, but none of them was as large as this one; hundreads of drawers and clothing racks decorated the sides of the store while the middle was occupied by beautifully dressed mannequins and islands of boxes. People flocked around the cash register, carrying handfuls of garments.

Dazai whisteled in surprise. "There's surely many things I can choose from. If you want to you can go look around too."

You gave him a reassuring nod and with that, your boyfriend left. Around half an hour later, he returned with a couple of garments.

"I found these but I wanted to check with you if you like them." he said in a sweet voice. However, the glimmer of amusement in his eyes didn't go unnoticed. He held a see-through white bra adorned with drawings of vines and pink and red flowers in front of you.

"Look how pretty this is. You know what a perfect view I'll have when I use your tits to-"

"Osamu!" you exclaimed, covering his mouth with your hand. "You can't say that. We're in public"

Your boyfriend only chuckled at your reaction, gently removing your hand from his face.

"Ok ok I'll stop. But you got the point. You'd look amazing in this."

Then he cast aside the set and showed you a beautiful cream coloured silky dress; its cleavage was laced and it had two thin straps for your shoulders.

"I remembered you were looking for one of these a few weeks ago. Do you like it?"

A wide smile rose to your lips as you ardently nodded. It was indeed a lovely dress, which reminded you of a pearl; the material was soft and elegant and the colour perfectly complemented your chestnut hair and brown eyes.

"I love it honey. Let's get them"

"As you wish my darling" he beamed, walking towards the register.

That evening Dazai made sure you put on a show; he made you wear the things he got you, matching them with accessories you already had.

"Wow you look ravishing, dear. Do a twirl"

You obeyed and quickly spun around once, earning a smile from your partner.

"Now I also got you something else. I slipped it to the cashier when you weren't looking. Promise not to laugh, ok?"

"Um.. ok?" you said with a sceptical look on your face.

Dazai took out a pair of tiger print panties with 'Bite me!' on the front. You burst into laughter upon seeing them.

"I just couldn't resist they look so silly. Plus, they were on sale."

"But Osamu how will they even fit me? They look like they're from the kid's section" you said between ragged breathes, wiping a tear of joy from the corner of your eye.

"Well, there's only one way to find out if they'll fit. Go change bella♡"

𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂

this man when I tell you~ he's the definition of lemme spoil you babygirl

he's more than happy to oblige you

walks so proudly in the store and immediately starts picking up things from you

unlike Dazai, he doesn't care about the price; if he likes a £200 matching he'll get it so he probably ends up buying half of the store

while he picks up the pieces the likes he keeps telling you how beautiful you'll look in them and how he cannot wait to get home to try out some of the things he got you

Chuya likes black or burgundy lingerie the best, but also anything with straps

"Chuu" you cried out, pulling at your boyfriend's arm "Come on the shop's going to close soon."

You somehow managed to convince Chuya to come with you to the newly opened Victoria's Secret in town by promising him that he can pick anything he wants for you.

"I'm coming darling." he said as he languidly opened the glass doors of the store. "After you, my lady"

You entered the shop, barely able to conceal your excitement. It was packed with people and garments of all colours: elegant lingerie and nightgowns, shoeboxes and bottles of perfume.

"Woah! I didn't expect it to be this big" you exclaimed "What do you think, Chuu?"

Your boyfriend's gaze lazily wandered around the room; he seemed utterly unimpressed by the store.

"I mean, it wouldn't be my first choice for a shop. I prefer things from Bluebella or Bordelle, maybe even Fleur Du Mal. But I'm sure I'll be able to find something for you in here too" he said with a wink as he began walking around the store.

Naturally, you didn't know any of the brands he mentioned but you assumed they were luxurious; Chuya had an eye for expensive things.

Your boyfriend seem carefree as he carefully explored each mannequin and drawer.

"Wow look at this" he said as he held a pair of wine red see-through panties before you "You'd look absolutely ravishing in these."

His hand then travelled along the expanse of a mannequin's chest. It was wearing a matching set of black lace lingerie; the panties were connected to the bra by two leather straps, bound in the middle by a heart shaped metal. One of his fingers hooked under the iron heart, gently pulling at it.

"Oh darling what I'd do to you in this. Imagine how pretty you'd look wearing this and one of my leather chokers. My, my doll we must get this" he said in a teasing voice, causing your cheeks to turn a light shade of pink.

You only had about half an hour until the store closed for the day, but that didn't stop Chuya from buying you six sets of lingerie, two red bodysuits, a silky slip dress and two bottles of perfume. You stepped out of the shop, yoir boyfriend carrying six little pink bags.

"Darling we shouldn't have gotten all those things. They were way too expensive and-"

"Shh dear let me spoil you today, alright? You deserve it." he cooed at you, leaning in to place a feathery kiss on your lips. "Besides, you can make up for it tonight."

"And what exactly do you mean my that?" you said back, copying his alluring tone.

A smirk rose to his lips as his free arm snaked around your lower back, pulling you closer to him His breath was hot against the shell of your ear as he spoke, causing a shiver to run down your spine:

"I think you know exactly what I mean, dear. It involves you wearing that beautiful bodysuit I got you"

[vroomvroommuppett]

galex x grad student reader? maybe she’s studying arts or hospitality to work in the events side of the paddock one day and alex is always the one trying to convince reader and george to stop working so hard and chill with him

my asks are still open for requests! please send me some!

𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙

ynrussellalbon

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and others

ynrussellalbon studying while watching my boys kill it 🩵

tagged alex_albon, georgerussell63

georgerussell63 Don't study too hard, baby.

alex_albon We miss you too. Soon though we'll be able to see you.

lewishamilton Please come soon. I don't know how much longer I can hear George whine about missing his wife.

logansargeant Same with Alex. Please come soon mom. ynrussellalbon soon loves georgerussell63 I'm not that bad alex_albon Same lewishamilton "Lewis, I know I just got off the phone with her, but I miss her" logansargeant "Logs, I'm going through Yn withdrawls"

fan1 mother is back

mercedesamgf1 Come work with us when you graduate!

wiliamsracing no us! scuderiaferrari us! redbullracing no us please! visacashapprb what about us? mclaren we have one of your children stakef1 us please! haasf1 we need the help! alpineracing we have your french friends astonmartinaramcof1 we have your uncle nando f1 or you know us ynrussellalbon good to know i have options

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𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙

georgerussell63 and alex_albon

liked by ynrussellalbon, mercedesamgf1, and others

georgerussell63 The daily selfies we send our wife to remind her to take a break.

tagged: alex_albon, ynrussellalbon

ynrussellalbon my boys.

landonorris You look like you're dying.

ynrussellalbon you take that back about my husbands, norris landonorris Yes ma'am 🫡

oscarpiastri Not pictured is Logan and I ahead waiting for them.

logansargeant "Hold on! We have to take a picture for Yn to make sure she takes a break." ynrussellalbon and this is why you're my favorites

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𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙

ynrussellalbon posted a story

[caption: finally visiting my boys at a race]

𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙

ynrussellalbon

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and others

ynrussellalbon graduated, got my dream job working for two teams, and visiting my boys finally. no more long distance 🩷

tagged: alex_albon, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, logansargeant, williamsracing, mercedesamgf1

alex_albon It was way too long.

georgerussell63 You're ours now.

mercedesamgf1 welcome mother!

williamsracing we love you ynrussellalbon i love you too admins

georgerussell63 But in all seriousness, we're so proud of you baby.

alex_albon So so proud ynrussellalbon thank you my loves. i couldn't have done it without you two, reign energy drinks, your daily selfies for me to take a break, and helping me study. it was worth it in the end. and i get to work with both of my husbands.

logansargeant You really just had to post those?

ynrussellalbon you're my kid. what kind of mom would i be if i didn't embarrass you. besides you're stuck with me now oscarpiastri Love you too, mom.

lewishamilton Congrats, Yn! So happy to have you working with us!

ynrussellalbon Thanks, Lew.

landonorris Awwwww baby Logan and Oscar.

fan1 yay! mother will be back for good!

francesca.cgomez we need a girls night

flavy.barla YES PLEASE alexandrasaintlmeux Every week we're at a race together we should. iamrebeccad I'm down! kellypiquet Ooh yes! lilyzneimer YES! pierregasly What about your boyfriends? alex_albon Husbands* flavy.barla we haven't seen our wife in a bit. let us have this ynrussellalbon have a guys night

kellypiquet So happy to have you back! P has missed her aunt Yn.

ynrussellalbon P MY BABY. i have gifts for her. kellypiquet I told her your'e back and have gifts and she wants you to come as soon as you can. ynrussellalbon anything for my favorite girl

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𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙

i hope this is what you were wanting!

[fanfictilltheend]

❤️‍🔥Violent Heart Part 2:  ♪Remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving too ♫ (or the VERY DARK Stepdad!Mechanic!Covict!Joel x Afab!you one)❤️‍🔥

Hi I apologize that a lot of these reference pics are just of white girls. I tried to find "aesthetic" images that go with the story but so many of them are just of white people and I want to call myself out for this because in the fic's only descriptors are that she has hair and is AFAB -- nothing about race. I also realize that all of the girls in this are skinny too and Y/N's body type is never specified. Sorry fam!! These images are just to get the creative juices flowing and don't truly depict anything from the fic!!

A/n: It’s here!!!!!! 18+ Only. This took me 7 freaking months so you mofos better like, reblog, and comment. This is both my most and least personal fic I’ve ever written and it is dark and relies heavily on plot (smut this time tho!!) READ ALL OF THE TAGS DO NOT COME FOR ME UNLESS YOU DID THIS FR FR. This ones for my dark joel fangirlies(guys and NBies) and the daddy issues fam ily ❤️‍🔥 (also not me naming my fic in part after hallelujah by leonard cohen but there is a reason!!!!!!!!!!)

Summary: Part 2 picks up with Y/N at age 20 and how her relationship with Joel has changed and gets steamier.  SMUT and feelings <3 Also check out this playlist of music that’s in the fic!!!!

Tags (PLEASE READ): Afab!you, pov change, Infidelity, threats, age gap, dressing Joel up (swear I wrote this before he wore that outfit to the SAG awards — the mr.Darcy-core one), racist comment (from Y/N’s douchey boyfriend), douchey boyfriend, confidence issues, feelings, voyeurism, masturbation (m and f), kissing, penis in vagina sex — unprotected (wear a condom), lightest hint of ass play, scar worship?? kinda??, daddy issues, daddy kink, using music lyrics to move the plot, multiple orgasms (m and f), religion and god discussions, stepcest (kinda bc technically he is divorced from her mother), tagging psuedo-incest just to be safe!!, use of y/n

Word Count: ~13k

PART 1

AO3 Link

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a little crush on Joel Miller. How could you not have? The first day you’d met him had been like some kind of fucked up yet extremely satisfying whirlwind of a daydream. He’d come in, broad and tall and strong, and saved you from your evil (though you do love him somewhere deep, deep down) older brother’s onslaught. Protected you like a knight in shining armor from his punching, beating fists. Treated and touched you so tenderly, so many miles different from how your own father did that you’d been hit with whatever the pleasant opposite of whiplash is. And the way he finally punished Aiden after years of his reign of terror, the violence of it, the justice of it. You didn’t have words for it then, but the way you looked into Joel’s eyes when he was doling out that righteous punishment became some kind of strange secret understanding between the two of you. Maybe it was the first sign of love? You aren’t sure.

As a kid, he’d given you what you like to think of as quiet butterflies. They were always there when he spoke to you, looked at you, touched you, beat the shit out of your father and brother for you, but they were faint enough that you could ignore them. It was a comforting, fluttering kind of love, a gradual understanding of your loyalty to one another. But then puberty hit and the insects became incessantly loud when you thought of, wrote to, or talked to him. They ate at your heart day after day while Joel was in prison – the longing, the missing. Aiden told you that you were obsessed with him. Your mother told you to forget him, that he would forget you. But somehow, he didn’t. You wonder if those bugs live in him too. You wonder if they are quiet or loud and if they gnaw .

You think that they are probably loud. You think this for a few reasons. The first is that you know for a fact, you can feel it in the lining of your soul, and from the evidence of his constant correspondence and care for you, that he is just as obsessed with you as you are with him. The second reason is the fact that you think but aren’t one hundred percent sure is that the last time you’d hugged him he’d gotten a little hard (you don’t want to think too much into that because he is only a man who had been deprived of touch for a long time – but still you wonder…). And the third is the way he looks at you like you are the universe like you are the last drop of nectar and he is the last butterfly left on Earth in a famine. 

That’s how he’s looking at you now in the passenger seat of his old, clunky pickup. You know that he wanted to drive, but you wanted to show him how well you could because he had never seen. Never had the chance to see how well you had fixed, maintained, and took care of his baby and of course he gave into you like he always does. He's smiling at you quietly, but his eyes contain multitudes. Right now mostly pride at your driving.

Joel is a bit different than how you remember sitting near him in the truck the last time you were together, him as a free man, you as a little girl. Somehow, even though you are obviously bigger now, he still seems massive and broad and stronger than ever. His biceps are huge – probably from all the time he had to work out in prison – and peeking out under his blue t-shirt that you brought for him, you think you see the outlines of some tattoos. You look a little closer. On his right arm is text in curvy black ink. You think it reads, “Sarah.” You smile softly at that. On his other arm is a strange orange shape that you have to squint at to understand. The edges of the object are jagged but they form a shape like a badge – and then you know what it is! It is the guitar pick you made for Joel as a child. The one that had pricked his finger and drawn blood and he stuck it in his wallet. You can’t articulate how honored you feel that Joel loved you enough to tattoo something you made for him on his body, permanently, forever. 

“ Well , the light only turned green damn near eons ago,” he complains about your driving, but you know he is just teasing.

There is hardly anything wrong you can ever do in Joel’s eyes. He grins at you a bit lopsidedly and you smile back. You also can’t help but notice the greying of his brown hair. It’s a bit longer than it used to be too and the length gives it a little bit less of a shaggy look. You think it suits him, makes him look a bit older and more distinguished than when he first came into your life twelve years ago. 

Objectively, you know it’s weird to think that your ex-stepdad who is a convicted felon is hot, but it’s just something you’ve always known and thought like that the sky is blue or that orange is your favorite color. You know it’s weird to think of someone who was? – is? – supposed to be a father figure to you that way, but it’s already second nature at this point. You’ve had a few boyfriends (luckily all of them had treated you right), but none of the feelings you’ve ever had for them have compared to the cosmic-sized love and affection you have for Joel and you’ve never known anything different. The years you spent longing, missing, loving, obsessing over, and aching for him in every way under the sun, can’t be healthy, you know this, but they have eclipsed practically every other relationship in your life. No one has ever made you feel as safe and protected and loved as Joel has. No one else has ever looked at you the way he does. No one else’s entire existence has revolved around you the way his has. The sheer devotion in his gaze is enough to make the butterflies inside you scream and beat their wings against your insides like hungry bats. 

And you especially know you shouldn’t have these feelings about another human being violent enough to be capable of taking a life – inebriated or not. You’re grown now and know the man he killed was a scum-of-the-Earth child predator, and secretly you’ve always wondered if there was more to the story than Joel told the police in the official court transcripts you’d read as an adult, maybe even something to do with you since you had been there that day in the repair shop when they met , but you haven’t pressed because you’re sure the whole thing is quite traumatic for Joel and if he ever wants to tell you, you know he will. And more importantly, you don’t really care. Drunken, violent idiot or not, you were already deeply invested and never intended on wavering in that. You’re not sure there’s anything Joel could do to get you to stop loving him and that both terrifies and excites you. 

“Okay, whatcha wanna eat?” you ask, reaching out to rub Joel’s shoulder gently. “Now that you’re free you can have whatever you want! On my mom’s credit card of course. Swear I won’t tell her.”

Joel grins.

“Deal,” he tells you. “I was thinking of a nice steak dinner.”

***

You pull into the fanciest restaurant you can find in the tri-state area and sit down to order a regal, all-American, full three-course steak dinner (though you’re both woefully underdressed – not that you care – though the host gives you a dirty look). All the while, you tell Joel about your major (psychology) and how you want to become a counselor for abused children.

“That’s sort of beautiful, sweetheart,” he tells you with a genuine smile that used to be so hard to coax from him, but now seems to float over to you so easily and gently like a kiss from something as soft as the wings of a butterfly. “Wanting to help defenseless children. You’re kinda like a guardian angel for them, ya know? Damn proud of ya! Also, these mashed potatoes are goddamn delectable!” he exclaims after taking an experimental bite. “Have I mentioned that prison food is shit?”

You smile bashfully and want to tell him that he is your guardian angel (you wonder if he thinks the same of you) and inspiration in a backward sort of way for wanting to help kids in the first place since he was so good at protecting you for the most part (though you obviously don’t believe violence is the correct answer in your line of future work). But kids need protectors. Somehow you know that deep down you forgive him for all of the violence he caused because you would forgive him for anything. And him being proud of you? You don’t think there’s a better feeling in the world than that! You burst with pride. Your real father never said that to you, but Joel doesn’t feel like your father now. He is something different entirely. Something that entirely belongs to you.

“And you’ll meet my boyfriend, Max, tomorrow,” you nod as Joel moves onto the steak and lets out a soft moan at how good it tastes. “He’s heard a lot about you.”

Joel’s face flattens.

“And who is this kid exactly?” he sneers a little, attacking the steak with his knife. 

You smile internally at the obvious jealousy he’s trying to hide from his voice.

“Hey, Max is a decent guy!” you insist in his defense. “He’s pre-law. Real smart. He’s gonna be an important person someday, I know it. You’ll get on.”

That last part is a bit of a lie since you’re not sure the two will actually like each other. 

Joel examines your face, looks deep into your eyes.

“All I know is, just because someone is important, don’t mean they’re good to you or for you for that matter.” 

You can’t help but think of your father, the most “important” man you know and how much of a degenerate he is compared to someone ostensibly average like Joel who didn’t even have a status symbol like a college degree and how perfect of a man you think he is, despite his obvious flaws. You blush a little, scrunching up your nose. 

“Just lookin’ out for you, sweetheart,” he continues, smiling at the way you do. “He ever fuck with you – he ever break your heart, you know just where to send him, alright?”

“Yeah, Joel,” you grin. “Don’t need you getting any more jail time though, alright?” “You may have made a valid point,” he concedes with a smirk. 

***

When you two enter your shitty, one-bedroom apartment it’s already dark outside. Joel actually grins when he notices his and your guitars have both been mounted on the wall. 

“We can play ‘em tomorrow,” you tell him excitedly. “If you want to, I mean…”

“Hell yeah, I do,” Joel smiles. “Wanna hear ya singing for me, honey. I missed that.”

You smile to yourself.

“You can have my bed, and I’ll take the couch,” you decide, getting back to business. 

“No way, babygirl. I ain’t taking your bed.”

“Joel, you’ve literally been on a prison mattress for eight fucking years! Can’t imagine that’s been very comfortable.”

“That’s exactly why I won’t mind the couch. That’ll feel like heaven to me. Don’t want you messin’ up your back, sweetheart.”

You open your mouth, but Joel beats you.

“And that’s that,” he insists. 

“Alright, alright,” you concede, knowing by the look on his face he’s not budging. If one thing, Joel has always been stubborn, but you like that about him. “D’you wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Actually, baby, if ya don’t mind, I’d like a quick shower. Been dreaming about taking a real, private one for ages.”

“Yeah, of course!” you nod, motioning toward your bathroom door. “Towels are under the sink.”

Joel makes his way inside and soon steam is billowing out the bottom of the door. 

You busy yourself with some homework, but just as you walk past the door to grab a glass of water, you think you hear Joel singing.

You listen more closely over the fall of the running water and make out him singing the chorus of an old ABBA song with a deeper, sadder tone to it,

♪ “ Slipping through my fingers all the time / I try to capture every minute / The feeling in it / Slipping through my fingers all the time / Do I really see what's in her mind? / Each time I think I'm close to knowing / She keeps on growing / Slipping through my fingers all the time…” ♫

You feel like such a sap, but you feel a tear forming in your eye at the way Joel must be thinking about his and your relationship and everything he missed in your life. You aren’t mad at him, but his absence hurt in a way you didn’t know you could feel. And you’ve never blamed him, really, but the lack of him for eight years of milestones really did kill a piece of you. You can’t help but imagine a butterfly at the bottom of your stomach with its wings pulled off. That’s how you felt all that time without Joel – like a butterfly without wings. A writhing worm of a human being, senseless and lost in a giant world full of forces you couldn’t control. 

You listen to Joel’s beautiful, deep voice until you hear him turn off the tap and you scurry away and act innocent. 

Joel emerges from the bathroom then with nothing but a white towel around his waist, steam from the shower floating lazily into the room behind him like precession. And oh, wow, is he ever a sight to behold. His hair is wet, dark brown flecked with grey, and starting to get curly from the moisture. You also can’t help but notice his broad chest, the expanse of it, the dark curls of hair, his bulking, muscular tattooed arms, his soft, hairy tummy, the V-shape of muscle that descends beneath the towel, his happy trail. You are overwhelmed by the soaking beauty of him. You’d seen Joel shirtless before, sure, but it had never felt like this . 

“Gon’ grab some of those clothes you bought for me and then maybe we could watch something?” Joel asks as you try so fucking hard not to stare at him.

“Sure!” you squeak, staring down at your notebook at the kitchen counter. 

You think you see a smirk from Joel, but you're not sure because your gaze is averted as he grabs some clothes to change into and disappears back into the bathroom.

When he reemerges, dressed in a wifebeater and shorts that accentuate his form, you two sit next to each other on your cushy sofa and surf the TV for something to watch. You feel Joel’s hairy knees against your jean-clad one and your heart flutters.

“Can’t believe I’m really here,” Joel says softly as you pass re-runs of Full House, a dog show. “Like I gotta fuckin’ pinch myself to know it’s not a dream.”

Suddenly you feel a large, weathered hand on your cheek.

“Missed you so much, babygirl,” he murmurs, looking into your eyes, massaging the line of your jaw ever so lightly, trying to hold your skittish gaze. “More than I even have words for.”

First, you avoid looking at him a bit bashfully, but then you stare up cautiously into those big brown eyes that feel like a familiar kind of home and you’re such a goner. You lean into his warmth, the warmth of his hand.

“Missed you too, Joel. So much,” you admit, never wanting this moment to end or him to let go of you. “More than anything.”

He leans forward a little and for a second you think…but then he’s leaning in and planting a heavy kiss on your forehead. A kiss that has weight to it – not those soft, weak ones that Max gives you haphazardly when he’s drunk or high – the only time he’s brave enough to be vulnerable with you. This kiss says something, means it so sincerely too. 

“Love you, honey,” he tells you. Then his face falls. “Sorry I…wasn’t quite there to say that to you enough in person.”

“It’s okay, Joel. I forgive you,” you insist. “I love you so much, dummy. More than you even know!”

But you truly do appreciate the sentiment. 

***

You settle on an old, black and white classic, Paper Moon, that’s playing on the TV Land channel.

Joel wraps a big arm around you and you snuggle close. You’re pretty sure there isn’t a better feeling in the world than being this close to him. Even after all these years he still smells like Joel; like home (and, if you’re being honest, a bit like your vanilla shampoo) .

You lean against him, your cheek pressing into one of his firm pecs. You begin to feel sleepy, drunk on the steady sound of his heartbeat, alive and beating against you and really here . 

You nod off.

***

At first, you don’t believe it, but you feel someone with strong, firm arms lifting you into the air, cradling your back and the insides of your knees in a bridal-style carry. The movement wakes you, but you don’t open your eyes because the safety and security you feel is too good to give up. Joel carries you to your bedroom and lays you down gently in your bed. You’re still in day clothes and shoes so Joel takes off your worn sneakers with a feather-light touch and places them at the foot of the bed – you can tell from the soft thumps it makes. He maneuvers you so tenderly under the covers and tucks you in with love and care. You wonder the last time someone did that for you and pull up a blank. If anyone ever did that for you it was probably Joel. Maybe your mom did when you were really young. Certainly your father nor Aiden ever did – your father hadn’t liked to touch you except out of anger – kind of like you had some kind of weird, contagious disease. Aiden’s hands had almost always hurt too, but not Joel’s – never his. 

He breaks you from your thoughts by pressing another kiss to your forehead. Your eyes are still closed so you aren’t sure, but you think he watches you for a second and lets out a long sigh. 

Then you hear your bedroom door close softly so as not to disturb you. You smile, you can’t help it, and drift back off into a peaceful sleep.

***

You wake up to a mumbling, grunting sort of sound. You look over at your clock and read 3:42 a.m. You sit up. You can kind of hear some muffled noises coming from outside your room. At first, you feel a little concerned – like maybe Joel is in pain or something as he is the only one who could be making the noises. The walls in your apartment are paper-thin. Like you could hear him sneeze clear as day if he were to because sound travels through the shitty walls so easily. You should have told him that. But what the fuck is he doing up at 3 a.m.? 

You creep (and you mean creep) silently to the door of your bedroom and open it the tiniest crack. The way your apartment is laid out, the back of the sofa is the first thing you see and the back of Joel’s head about six feet away. He doesn’t sound in pain the way he’s groaning and then you understand exactly what he’s doing. Of course the man is jerking off! After being in prison, stuck around people for so long of course he wanted a good, private wank. He isn’t looking at anything from what you can tell, no magazines or anything. Must be using his imagination. You wonder what he’s thinking about, if he’s gotten good at that over the years.

You should turn around, slink back into bed, and cover your ears with a pillow so the man can have some privacy. But, fuck, the way he’s grunting. His voice is so fucking deep and sexy and then he lets out a soft, vulnerable moan and you feel heat envelope your whole body. You think you hear a soft fuck roll off his tongue and your heart almost beats right out of your chest. You can hear the lewd slapping of his fist on skin getting louder and more intense. Then you hear a soft take it, fuck. And Jesus, you are so fucking wet between your thighs. You ought to be ashamed. Instead, you reach down your hand feverishly beneath the band of your jeans and soaking underwear instinctively to stroke yourself ever so slightly. You sigh in relief, but you are fucking gushing, your fingers covered in your slick. You can’t see anything besides the back of Joel’s head, technically, so this couldn’t be that wrong, could it? He lets out a soft groan, you can tell he’s holding back so as not to be heard, but the desperation in the pathetic little noises this hulking man is making is turning on every switch inside you. Oh how you want to go over there and take him in your mouth, to taste him. God you are so fucked up! You’re still touching yourself gently, not really fully going at it yet, considering the possibilities that could follow if you went over there. But before you can decide to do anything, Joel positively whines, moans, and grunts fuck, unh, and you think but aren’t sure, babygirl, and finishes.

You stop dead still in what you’re doing. Did he really say “babygirl” or was that just your horny-ass imagination playing tricks on you? You’ve never heard Joel call anyone babygirl except you. Was he really thinking of you? On the one hand, if true, mega fucked up. On the other, wow, incredibly hot. You think about going over there and asking him to finish you off or something as crazy as in all those dumb romance novels you used to read in middle school, but just as quickly as the idea comes to you, you hear another noise: loud snoring. Joel is asleep.

Typical.

You snort to yourself. That was so quintessentially Joel. You don’t want to disturb him now. The moment has passed. And only then is when you remember you have a fucking boyfriend. 

That doesn’t stop you from closing your door softly, crawling back into bed, and reaching your hand down beneath your panties to touch yourself. You stroke your clit, imagining it is Joel’s rough hand rubbing against you. Holy fuck. You haven’t been this wet since you used to touch yourself thinking about him in the past. It’s like he can reach every part of you, every layer in a way that no one else can. You know the whole thing is so fundamentally fucked up, but you can resist sinking into your favorite fantasy. The smell, the touch, the feel of him. You imagine the noises he was making so beautifully on the couch, feel heat coil through your entire body, and immediately cum hard without even sticking a finger inside yourself. 

The pleasure you feel is so unparalleled and real you have to cover your hand with your mouth not to scream out your powerful orgasm. 

Sweat drenches your whole body as you come down. 

God, you are so fucked.

***

The next morning you wake up to the wafting smell of someone cooking eggs. You emerge from your room a little sheepishly from last night’s events to find Joel behind the kitchen counter making eggs and toast. 

“Mornin’, babygirl,” he grins, his eyes shining like he’s excited about something.

And then you realize: that something is you.

You grin back.

“Good morning, Joel,” you beam at him.

You were so afraid things would feel awkward after what you heard last night, but nothing ever feels awkward with Joel. In some ways, he’s still just your average dorky, friendly old ex-stepdad, convicted felon. In other ways, everything about him sets your heart on fire, but it would be stupid to ruin what you have with him because you think it’s remotely possible he might be interested back. You know this is dramatic, but if he flat-out rejected you, you think you might die. Truly. Like those butterflies inside you would beat their wings so hard they’d burst your heart.

“‘Membered you liked ‘em poached,” he nods, breaking you from your thoughts. 

He scoops two poached eggs onto one of your plates and grabs a piece of toast from the toaster which he smears with butter like how you used to eat toast as a kid. You can’t believe he remembered.

“Thanks so much,” you tell him.

He grabs a few eggs and toast for himself and sits beside you at the counter. 

“Nice to be able to cook me ‘n you some real food,” he remarks. “If I eat one more cup o’ noodles in my lifetime I swear to God Almighty…” he trais off.

He’s looking at you like you put the goddamned sun in the sky. Your heart melts as you stare at his features, the faint curls in his hair. Oh, how you want to reach out and touch him. But that just isn’t how you operate. You won’t ruin what you already have.

The butterflies in your chest howl. 

***

` You lay out the day’s schedule to Joel. You have plenty of time to hang about (you see him eyeing the guitars), and then you need to go shopping for some actual clothes for Joel since the things you brought for him don’t constitute a proper wardrobe. Then you will go out to dinner and meet Max. 

Joel grunts a nod at that last part. He doesn’t seem too thrilled.

“Wanna show me what you’ve been playing?” he asks hopefully as he gets up to put both of your plates in the sink,

“‘Course!” you nod enthusiastically. “Max says I need to work on my fingerpicking so I can’t promise it’ll be all that good.”

Joel rolls his eyes.

“Show me what you’ve got.”

***

You sit down on the couch right next to Joel, each of you holding your respective guitars in hand, across your laps. 

Joel looks ecstatic to have his guitar back in his hands. He fiddles with the tuning and finger-picks a faint melody.

“Haven’t played one since the prison band. But then some dumb motherfucker clobbered another sorry son of a bitch to death with a saxophone so that ended our music privileges,” Joel explains. 

“Jeez,” you reply.

Joel is sitting so close you can feel his body heat. You just want to hear him sing, but he insists on hearing you.

“Joel,” you try as innocently as possible. “D’you remember how to do an A-flat? I forget and I need it for my song.”

“Sure, baby. Lemme help ya. Now put one finger on this bit of the 4th fret here,” he begins, snaking a big arm around your shoulders so he can maneuver your fingers to the correct position. 

His touch is electric. He feels so good and warm. You feel the intense urge to climb into his lap and embrace and stay there forever. His big caloused hand full of scars places your fingers correctly for the chord. The same hand that must have jerked himself to completion last night…You can’t help but wonder how much cum there was…The truth is, you know how to make an A-flat. You just wanted to feel him.

He backs away and you whine internally at the loss.

“There we go,” he says soothingly, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “That one can be tricky. Now where is my performance?”

Your nerves are squirming around inside you but you begin to play and sing to the best of your ability. 

You look into Joel’s eyes.

♪“ You've got a heart on fire / It's bursting with desire / You've got a heart filled with passion /  Will you let it burn for hate or compassion?” ♫ you sing. 

Joel watches you intently, sitting up straighter. 

♪ “What's the point with a love / That makes you hate and kill for? ♪

You sing as best and as seriously as you can. You look up and think you maybe see a tear in Joel’s eye.

When you finish, it’s clear Joel is finding it hard to select the right words to convey what he’s feeling. 

“I–” he tries. “That was…well, let me just show you how I can answer that if anyone ever could to a performance as beautiful as that.”

You blush. 

He begins to finger-pick a familiar tune, Instantly, you are transported back to eight years old in the back of Joel’s old pickup truck, listening to one of his many cassette tapes. It’s “I’ll Never Find Another You” by The Seekers. The original version of the song is pretty happy and upbeat, but the way Joel sings it slowly in his deep and weathered voice makes you feel sad and achy inside. The emotion behind his voice is palpable.

♪ “But if I should lose your love, dear / I don't know what I'd do / For I know I'll never find another you / Another you / Another you…” ♫ he trails off.

It’s your turn to tear up a little. It’s crazy to know he means every word he’s singing too. He sings like every word is his last breath. When he finishes you are crying a little.

“You oughta record an album,” you sniffle, leaning into his shoulder, throwing him a side hug.

“Wanted to be a singer,” he replies with a small grin, leaning his head against yours. “Back when I was young.” 

You sit back up straight.

“You did? I never knew that.”

“Don’t tell nobody really,” Joel replies, looking a bit sad you left his immediate proximity. “Just a stupid dream ‘n all that crap.”

“‘S not stupid,” you tell him. “You really have a beautiful voice, Joel. It’s like if I could take it, hold on to it, and keep it forever in my chest pocket next to my heart, I would.”

“That’s where I keep you, baby,” he tells you honestly.

He reaches up a big hand to yours and guides your own to place it right on his heart over his plaid shirt. You can feel it beating steadily below your palm to the rhythm of something as delicate and ferocious as the beating of butterfly wings.

“Right here.”

***

You take Joel shopping. At his insistence it is nothing fancy, just the local department store. That doesn’t stop you from dressing Joel up in ridiculous outfits of your choosing. You make him try on a Hawaiian shirt, some golf polos like your dad liked to wear, a pinstripe suit and he lets you because saying no to you has never been in his vocabulary. He acts grumpy on the outside, but you can tell he is amused. You know in the end, you’ll just end up buying every flannel shirt and jeans combo they have in the store, but it’s just fun anyway. You watch the fabric hug his torso, his tummy, the slight bulge at his waist. At one point he comes out shirtless and you try very hard not to swoon as you stare at the hair lining his chest and his adorable little tummy that you for some reason have the urge to bite. The band of his Hanes boxers sticks up past his jeans and he looks so good. He even lets out a genuine smile. The middle-aged sales attendant who is helping you even takes a good look at him which makes the butterflies inside you swarm possessively. 

Finally, you make him try on a proper white-collared button-down shirt and black dress pants with matching black shoes and he looks so good you’re actually at a loss for words when he asks you what you think. They hug the curves and lines and planes of his body so nicely. All you can do is ask him to put on a black tie to match and he does at your behest following some customary griping that he would never wear such a monkey suit in the first place. The effect that a fully dressed-up Joel has on you is not one to be reckoned with. He might as well be wearing the men’s version of lingerie for how it makes you throb and ache between your legs. He looks like a force of nature, commanding and tall. It makes you weak. All you say is,

“Looking good, old-timer.”

He snorts.

When you finally ditch all the fun clothes and grab the essentials, Joel offers to go pick up the car while you pay. He tries to give you his eight-year-old credit card, but you insist on treating him on the condition he buys the “monkey suit.” After a bit of prodding, he gives in and you go to the sales attendant to pay at the counter. 

“Your dad is really cute,” the sales attendant giggles to you as she rings up the pile of clothes. 

Your cheeks go a bit red. You don’t really care enough to correct her.

“He’s my guy,” is all you say absentmindedly as you fish out your wallet from your purse.

The sales attendant hands you the receipt and on it, you see a scrawled phone number.

“For If he’s single,” she explains. “I’m Barb from sales.”

You look her over. She’s close to Joel’s age and conventionally pretty with long brown hair. The exact kind of woman Joel should be dating should he choose to get back in the game. Your stomach twists and the butterflies howl inside you.

You take the receipt, thank her, and join Joel back in the car (who is more than happy to be driving this time). 

“What took so long?” he asks casually. “You two writing a novel in there?”

You think seriously about what you should do. You consider letting the bugs have their way and tearing the receipt with Barb’s number on it to shreds. But you want good things for Joel. The chance of you two ever being together the way you wish is so far-fetched that you know you shouldn’t even be thinking it. A literal pipe dream. He was your stepdad for christsakes. He literally fucked your mother! (Gross!). Barb is exactly the kind of woman Joel should be going after if he’s up to dating right now. You hand him the receipt begrudgingly. 

“Sales Lady likes you,” you sat flatly. “Name is Barb.”

“Oh,” he says softly like he’s a bit flattered. 

He looks back at her through the glass door of the store and she waves at him. He waves back politely. You feel your stomach twisting into knots. 

“You think…you think you’re gonna call her?” you finally ask as casually as humanly possible, dreading the answer. 

Joel looks over at you, his gaze sweeping over you. Then looks back at Barb through the window. He looks her up and down.

“Nah,” he says with a smirk, looking back at you. “She ain’t my type. Only need one girl in my life right now anyways,” he winks.

Was that Joel flirting? With you?

Regardless, you smile back and then sigh in relief and grin to yourself as you two drive away. 

Much to your satisfaction, Joel crumples up the receipt and throws it out the window for good measure. 

***

You get ready for dinner, to go to a nice Mexican-Japanese fusion restaurant that Max picked out. You wear a red dress that accentuates your figure and matching heels and to your shock, Joel reemerges from the bathroom in the white button-down shirt and black dress pants you picked out for him (you had been sure flannel would be part of his ensemble). God, he looks good. A part of you wants to ditch Max and just stay here with Joel forever. He looks you over, his dark eyes sweeping over your frame. You think there is a tinge of possessiveness in his voice when he says,

“ Christ, you look beautiful, babygirl.”

***

You arrive before Max and sit down at the fancy white table-cloth-covered table next to Joel, a booth facing you. Max finally makes an appearance a half hour late and sits down across from you, sweeping his hair out of his face, sliding into the booth. Joel is frowning and the butterflies beat their wings inside you nervously.

“Sorry I’m late,” Max announces, puffing out his chest a little and smoothing out his collared shirt as he looks down at his watch and then over at Joel. “Hey, baby,” he says to you. Then, “And, uh, nice to meet you. Joe, was it? Heard a lot about you.”

“Joel,” Joel replies flatly, eyeing Max.

Max is a good-looking guy, everyone says so, but he looks more like a little boy than you’ve ever thought as he squirms uneasily in his seat under Joel’s unrelenting gaze and launches into a tirade about his frat’s inter-mural lacrosse team practice and how his team should have totally won the scrimmage and that’s why he’s late. And of course, he was the one to score the most goals.

“And the taxi cab driver was a nightmare. Only spoke Spanish. It’s like, if you come to this country speak fucking English, am I right?”

You notice Joel’s jaw tighten and his fingers clench. 

“Max, that’s so rude!” you tell him, frowning. “We’re at a fucking Mexican restaurant!”

“Anyway,” Max continues, rolling his eyes at the interruption like he barely even heard you, smirking. “Where’d you go to school? What do you do for work, Joel?  Besides making license plates, I mean. Kidding!” he insists as you stare daggers at him. 

Joel leans forward ever so slightly but you slip your leg over his to hold him back and he calms down a fraction. It’s like when you touch him, everything tense in him melts away. 

Joel sits up straighter in his chair and looks at you, stretching his arm across the back of your seat protectively like it’s a casual thing and not an unconscious sign of possessiveness.

“I’m a mechanic,” he grunts unceremoniously to Max. “I mean, I was anyways…Didn’t go to school.”

Max frowns ever so slightly. 

“You didn’t go to college? You must’ve gone to trade school at least?”

“Nope. Picked up what I know over the years. Not everyone gets a free ride from their parents,” Joel smirks.

“Free ride?” Max snaps. “I’ll have you know I spend every summer interning at a law firm!”

“Yeah, your dad’s,” you can’t help but snicker.

Max’s cheeks turn a bit pink.

“At least I’m not a psych major,” he shoots back. “I mean, no offense, babe!”

“What’s wrong with psychology?” Joel snarls, his eyes darkening. “You ought to be proud to have such a thoughtful and intelligent girl like Y/N studying such a topic.”

It’s your turn for your cheeks to go pink. 

“Joel–”

“Who said I wasn’t?” Max sneers. 

That makes you feel a bit better. 

“I’m just saying, she could have inherited the second-best law firm in the tri-state area from her pops if she was pre-law like me,” he smirks.

Your smile fades, used to hearing this kind of shit from him. He knows you and your father don’t get along at all, but not the full extent of it. He also knows you don’t have an interest in pre-law. But you swallow down how you really feel.

“It’s fine, Joel,” you tell him, placing a hand down on his thigh.

It’s not that you enjoy the way Max has been talking to you, but you are so used to it from the men in your life that it feels like the common denominator must be you. And sometimes it feels like maybe they have some kind of point. And fighting back only makes things worse. You’ve learned that over the years the hard way.

“It’s not fine!” he snaps like he’s trying to get you to see sense, looking deeply insulted on your behalf. Your heart thunders in your chest. “This boy has never worked an honest day in his life and he’s telling you what you ought to be doing? Bet his hands are soft as a baby’s ass. He doesn’t know shit about you, babygirl.”

You may not know the hardship of labor that Joel has taken on in his life, but your hands are not smooth. They are full of scars. And Joel is right. Max’s are soft like silk. You look down at the most prominent, ugly scar on your middle finger. You don’t even know which man in your life gave it to you. But you do know it means something. Shows you survived something. Survived your stupid father too, not that Max seems to care.

But Max never loses. 

“Whatever,” he smirks dismissively. “Sorry I’m not some, like, common blue-collar worker. But I guess I should be taking advice from someone who became a fucking convicted felon ‘cause they drank too much one night,” he shrugs with a terrible sneer.  

You know it’s over then.

But Joel surprises you. Doesn’t immediately strangle Max like you thought he might. Simply stands up tall and silent over Max’s frame which has suddenly begun to shake ever so slightly in obvious fear, his blue eyes widening. Joel’s fists are clenched tightly at his sides. 

“Wouldn’t mind them sendin’ me right back in, ” Joel growls low. “Drunk or not.”

You shiver and Max positively cowers. 

“Got something to say? Don’t wanna take it outside?” Joel leers, smirking ever so slightly at the trembling boy before him. “I’d even let a little boy like you take the first swing.”

“Your stepdad’s a freak, Y/N,” Max stammers, not taking his eyes off of Joel. 

“Joel, it’s fine, okay?” you growl, not wanting him to actually hurt your boyfriend. Let alone in public! “Shouldn’t talk about Joel like that though, Max! Jesus!”

“Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” Max tries, eyeing back and forth between you and Joel. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t get what you see in him with a real Dad like yours! Your dad has so much to give you!”

Look out for you? So much to give you? What could he possibly give besides a stupid law firm and two black eyes? 

Max looks a bit desperate. Him apologizing for anything is actually a new concept for you. Your heart twitches ever so slightly. He must actually like you a lot. But Joel would never do anything to hurt you if it was in his power. At least not intentionally, unlike your real father. 

“That’s it. I’m leaving,” Joel snarls moodily, turning around. “Don’t want to do things I might regret to Mr.Future-Corporate-Lawyer over here. Have fun with him .”

Joel looks deeply hurt. Like you are choosing Max over him or something. That’s never what this has been about, has it? Doesn’t Joel know you’d do anything for him? That the hurt on his face hurts you more than anything you’ve ever felt. Ever.

“Joel, wait!” you decide and disappear after him, leaving Max behind at the table.

“Babe, what the fuck!?” Max yells, but you don’t care. “Come back here!”

***

You ride back in silence, Joel’s hands turning white against his grip on the steering wheel. 

When you break through to the front door of your apartment, Joel finally snaps, the anger on his face directed at something that feels like you for the first time in your life.

“You really love that little son of a bitch, don’t you?” he sneers, uncharacteristically harshly towards you. 

“So what if I did?” you shoot back, a little shocked. “It’s none of your business, Joel. What the fuck?”

“It is so my business,” he snaps back. “That kid is no good for you, Y/N. He doesn’t understand you. You deserve someone much better than that who will actually go to the ends of the earth for you. He wouldn’t do anything for you.”

There is a desperation and vulnerability in Joel’s words and tone that you’re not sure you’ve heard before. He sounds like he had been waiting the whole car ride to say this, maybe even his whole life. You aren’t sure.

“Max does give a shit about me,” you try to convince yourself, getting angrier. “I mean at least he was there for me while you were gone.”

Joel flinches.

“How do you know what’s so good for me and what’s not when you dipped out of my life for eight years?” you continue harshly. “Because why? It wasn’t because you were drunk, was it? It was because you couldn’t control your anger. You never could.”

He stares at you.

“I controlled it for you,” Joel says so quietly you almost miss it. “ You are the only reason I did any of it.”

“What?” you stammer, not sure you want to hear more. “W-what do you mean, Joel? Any of what?”

A million thoughts begin to run through your mind, but you push them aside. Theories about the case and your ideas of Joel’s true nature all threaten to drown you but you push them away.

“Do you want to know why I really killed that sick son of a bitch?” Joel asks dangerously after a long moment of silence. You stare at him, your body frozen. He looks down at his hands, flexing them like he can still feel them punching or around that disgusting man’s throat. “Why I killed him all those years ago? It was no accident, I’ll give you that. Manslaughter, my ass. I killed that scum of the Earth because he threatened you . To do terrible things to you with those disgusting hands of his. So I broke each one, but it wasn’t enough. I killed him because I didn’t want you to get hurt and because I didn’t want you to live in fear of him. I was tired, Y/N. Tired of being afraid for you in a world that doesn’t let you do shit except fight back. I loved you so much, Y/N, it hurt me. It scared me, but I couldn’t let him hurt you. I’d die before I let anyone hurt you again, not him, not your father, not Max, not anyone. You have to understand. I love –” 

And then it’s all over. You’re not sure who moves first, but you think it might be you. The butterflies are rustling and thundering and screeching inside you and you kiss him. And Joel kisses back, devouring your mouth in his. You grab the back of his graying brown hair and pull him as close to you as you think is humanly possible. He cradles the back of your head so gently you almost lose your breath. And you are kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing. There is nothing else in the universe except this kiss. You have never felt anything like this in your life. It is like every butterfly inside you has gone silent. It is like the world has stopped just for you and something new is forming inside you.

Joel killed that vile man for you. To keep you safe. Like he always said or showed that he would. He gave his life away for you. He did the unspeakable for you.

He bites down on your bottom lip and all your brain can manage to coherently think is: more, harder .

But then Joel is breaking away from you slowly.

NO! your heart cries out, the delicious pleasure and pain draining away from you. The butterflies swarm dangerously inside your chest, worse with every inch he travels from your lips.

“Joel,” you whine. “What? You…you don’t want–”

“Don’t even say that, Y/N,” he growls dangerously. “Of course I want you. How could I not? I have spent my entire life wanting you in some capacity, baby, but I ain’t no good for you either, alright? I…” he says slowly like it takes every inch of his body to agree to say this. “I am not a good man, Y/N. I never have been. I’ve done wrong in every chapter of my life. You deserve someone much better. I don’t want to hurt you. Physically or mentally. Our history… The damage I’ve done…” he trails off.

“You don’t understand,” you swallow, tears forming in your eyes. “You have already loved and hurt me more than any human being on planet Earth. And yet somehow there is nothing you could do that would keep me away from you, don’t you get that? The Joel Miller I love is not a good man and I don’t care. I want all of you. All of the pretty and crooked pieces you try to hide away from me. You killed a man with your bare hands, arguably one of the worst things a human can do, and I don’t care. I still want you, Joel. Maybe even more because of it. No one has ever loved me the way you do and that is the love I want and it terrifies me.”

A single tear falls down Joel’s right cheek. You reach up to wipe it away, but Joel grabs your hand on the way reflexively, so you help him wipe his own tears away. 

“I love you,” you whisper.

“I would move the Earth for you,” Joel whispers back.

“I know,” you nod. “I’ve always known. I–”

But he is kissing you again before you can say another word, like a man starved. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingers caressing his stubbly beard. 

“ Joel,” you whine when you break for air.

“I wanted this so badly,” he says softly, grinning a lopsided grin. “Can’t believe this is real.”

“Me too,” you giggle.

You have to lean up a bit, but you press your forehead to his gently.

“Oh, baby,” Joel smirks. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive, ya know that? You like

it when I go a little rough, honey?” he smirks down at you in satisfaction, reading your mind.

You have to stop yourself from getting lost in the warm pools of his brown eyes, your panties soaked.

He reaches an affectionate hand down to rub your side softly.

“This okay, babygirl?” he coos, massaging his hand down your torso.

“I’d let you do anything to me, don’t you know?” you snicker. “Pain or pleasure, it’s all the same to me. I like all of that. I just want you so bad.”

“Think a safe word is in order,” Joel grins, leaning down to kiss your neck. “How about ‘butterflies?’” you suggest. 

“Sounds good to me, baby,” he grins, looking genuinely happy for the first time in hours. 

He leans down and places a calloused hand around your throat, not squeezing (yet – you hope) and plants soft kisses and bites down your expanse of skin. 

“All mine,” he mutters into your skin. “My beautiful babygirl.”

You feel his erection pressing against you through his black dress pants which makes you moan softly.

His hand trails over your crotch and he starts rubbing over the tight fabric of your red dress.

“That okay?”

“Yes,” you whine. “Want more, Daddy.”

Oh shit. You don’t mean to say it like that! You know it is about ten levels of fucked up to call Joel that, but how is it your fault that in every fantasy that’s how you think of him? You figure you’re probably past the point of weird and every other standard of decency, but you’re still afraid.

“Sorry…” you mumble. “I–”

“No, no, baby,” Joel says quickly. “It’s alright, you can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind, sweetheart.”

“You think it’s weird,” you mumble again, further stupid tears forming in your eyes.

He snickers. 

“Baby, I think we’re beyond weird at this point. Let me show you how turned on it makes me.”

Joel takes your hand and places it on his crotch. He takes your left hand, the one with the scar and you cringe a little, but he is rock-hard.

That’s good because you’re positively drenched.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. Daddy likes that more than you know, alright?”

You take your hand back, smiling, but you cover your scarred finger, shocked he will allow this fantasy for you.

“Whatcha hidin’ from me, baby?” he asks, noticing the positioning of your hands.

“I hate that scar on my finger. ‘S so ugly,” you admit.

Joel looks flabbergasted. 

“That’s the last damn thing I think of when I look at you. Ugly? Who in the fuck told you that?”

“How it got there is ugly. It’s marred skin, looks gross,” you mumble.

Joel moves to take out his cock, and when you nod he unzips and unbuttons his dress pants, pulling out his length. You have fantasized about his cock for god knows how long so you are more than excited to see it. He reaches to place your left hand with the scarred fingers around the length of his dick, which is thick, but longer than you expected. The leaking head is almost purple and your mouth begins to water as you stroke him gently.

“It’s part of you,” Joel tells you, his eyes connecting with yours. “I love it. It shows you survived. Gonna jerk off to it, Daddy loves it so much. And when I’m done you’re gonna love it too. Swear I’ve got so many over the years I can barely even count ‘em. Even got a few on my middle finger. Maybe even one from a certain guitar pick you made me. Nothing like that could ever make me stop wanting you, ya know that, right?”

You smile and take your time stroking him, wanting to show him how much you love and care for him, scars and all.

He grunts softly, closing his eyes, but then shoos your hand away with a feverish kind of want. 

“Yeah, touch yourself now, baby. Daddy wants to see how wet you are for him. With that scarred finger. C’mon, now. ‘S gonna make you feel so good.”

You do as you’re told and reach down underneath your dress and begin to touch yourself, especially with your middle finger. You stroke your clit and then your dripping wet slit. You moan softly as Joel’s eyes rake over you, taking in every sigh and groan you emit. The butterflies are forming something big inside you, which presses against the inside of your tummy and ribcage.

“Daddy,” you whine.

“Enough, little one,” Joel whispers. 

He takes out your hand and begins to suck the slick off of each of your fingers, groaning deeply, making intense eye contact the whole time.

“Fuck, angel,” he moans, having a tough time keeping himself together, you can tell. “Taste and smell better than like how I pictured. Like you were fuckin’ made for me, I swear.”

He reaches a hand of his own down to stroke himself and his moans become more desperate. Finally, he sucks on your middle finger covered in your slick and groans so deeply you feel like you might cum untouched. He stares into your eyes. 

“ Mine, ” he growls possessively. “Oh, shit! Gonna–”

Then he takes your left hand and leads it to meet his throbbing cock. You stroke him, harder this time, fisting his thick length, moaning softly and that does it for him.

Joel cums all over your hand, oozing white globs of cum over your fingers, once, twice, three times. 

“Fuuuuuck, babygirl,” he groans. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! Couldn’t help it. Yeah, suck it off, baby. That’s it,” he commands, and you do, licking up all of his cum, even the part that got on your middle finger. 

When Joel comes down he still looks half-crazed with desire.

“Sorry about the, uh, early release. It’s been a while since anyone touched me,” he babbles in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed pink. “But I don’t wanna hear shit about your gorgeous hands ever again, you hear me, babygirl?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you nod, snickering. 

He looks like that one word has set his entire universe back in order again. You honestly don’t care at how fast Joel came. You love how much it shows he wants you. And his heady taste is making you weak. You could taste him for days and days and never get tired, you’re sure.

“Can still get you off though, don’t worry. Shoulda let you cum first, but I couldn’t help it with the things you do to me. Goddamn. Can Daddy eat your pussy, baby?”

You grin, but then your face falls. 

“Didn’t shave,” you admit, feeling dirty. 

Max hates your hair down there.

Joel looks at you in confusion.

He laughs, his face scrunching up.

“Oh, sweetheart. You think I care about that? Only little boys give a shit about things like that. Not men.”

You shiver.

“Really?”

“Of course I don’t care. Didn’t ya hear what I just said? C’mon now. You can lie down on the couch.”

You follow instructions, pulling your dress over your head to reveal white lace panties and no bra. 

You move to take the panties off, but Joel stops you, staring at the lines and curves of your body. 

“Jesus, fuck,” he growls, taking you in.

You think you see his cock twitch ever so slightly. He palms his softening length instinctively.

“Beautiful,” he snarls, pushing you back on the sofa. 

You happily fall backward. 

He lies on top of you, his white button-down shirt pressing against your naked body tantalizingly. 

He bites your lips roughly and you groan against him.

“Daddy’s mouth,” he commands against you.

“Yeah, duh, Daddy,” you snicker.

As if he even needs to say it! 

He kisses down your neck expertly and you begin to shiver and whine, your pussy aching with need and neglect.

He stops at your breasts, sucking and biting each one.

“Daddy’s tits,” he declares, snaking a finger over the lace panties that protect your clit. “Of course,” you respond, moaning softly, grinding needily against him.

He continues lower, licking down your breasts and over your tummy which he plants with kisses that tickle and then one hard bite on your hip that leaves behind teeth marks.

“Daddy’s body,” he impresses upon you.

“Yes, Daddy. Only yours.”

“No more of that little shithead, Max,” he snarls, an inch above your clit.

“No more Max,” you repeat as he presses kisses down your pussy, still covered by soaked white lace panties. 

“Only Daddy.”

“Only you.”

“Good girl,” he growls.

He finally removes your panties and begins to eat and suck your clit and pussy so hard and enthusiastically, swirling his tongue around your bundles of nerves that you grow exponentially closer by the second.

“Joel,” you whine. “Oh my God.”

It doesn’t take long. The second his calloused hand is pressing a finger and then two inside of you it’s over. You were so needy for him that you could have even cum from just his mouth alone, but his hands are what send you over the edge. And something different happens as orgasm crashes down upon you. The butterflies all join together and transform into something bigger and softer, caressing your insides, cooing. It feels like a breathing white dove is spreading its wings inside you, the tips of its feathers brushing against your rib cage. And you cum harder than you ever have in your life. 

Pleasure engulfs you in currents, facilitated by the gentle flapping from deep

inside your body.

“ Joel,” you moan. “Oh my God. Daddy, pleaseee–”

“Please what, baby? Make my princess cum again? I would eat that pretty little clit and

pussy every day for the rest of my life if I could, fuck. God, so perfect and you’re so fuckin’ tight. Look how fucking hard you make me, angel.”

He takes one of your hands and places it on his half-hardening cock. Not going to lie, you are partially shocked at his recovery, but another part of you seems to know that if there was anyone in the universe that could do that to him it had to be you. 

“Never got hard again from anyone I’ve ever fucked before…” he trails off dreamily like he can read your thoughts. “You’re so gorgeous, babygirl.”

“Not so bad yourself, handsome,” you tell him lazily, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth as you pull him closer to you. 

The heat from his body keeps you so warm and tender and for a moment you lie on the couch, Joel’s still-clothed body pressed to yours.

“Can you fuck me, Joel?” you ask, squirming against him needily.

“You can’t say that shit to me, baby,” Joel groans, his cock getting harder. “Not quite ready yet.”

“Lemme help you out,” you offer, pouting. 

You reach down and stroke his half-hard length and then bend over and press a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock.

Joel swears, staring down at you with so much adoration it pours off his face. No man has ever looked at you like that before. You’re certain. Perhaps no man ever will again? Not like that.

“Shit, baby,” Joel babbles stupidly, his eyes threatening to swallow you up in that beautiful shade of umber. “Never gonna forget this moment,” he grunts as you begin to suck his cock properly, feeling it slowly get hard enough to throb between your lips with each thrust of your head and gluck of your throat. 

You stare up at him, your eyes wide and wanting and Joel lets out a soft, vulnerable moan as you begin to really suck him and take him down the walls of your throat.

“ Unh , babygirl, fuck,” he whines and you have never quite heard Joel so desperate before. “Gotta pull out or I’m gonna cum. Holy fuck.” 

It sounds just like it did the night you accidentally spied on him jerking off. 

“You’ve been thinking about me a lot, huh, Daddy?” you ask, releasing Joel from your mouth like he wanted, though his hips buck forward ever so slightly with desire, the tip of his cock just barely scraping against your mouth. He grunts.

“Maybe so,” he replies, looking a little guilty. “Don’t know how not to these days.”

“Heard you on the couch last night,” you whine yourself. “Had to touch myself ‘cuz of it, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

Joel reaches out a hand to cup your crotch and rub against your slick pussy.

“That’s so fuckin’ naughty, baby,” he groans. “Look how wet that made you. All for me.”

You steal a glance at his cock and find that the tip is weeping too. And he is so fucking big compared to the size of your hand. Fuck!

“You were thinking about me, weren’t you?” you whisper.

“All about you, baby,” Joel nods in agreement, his hips twitching ever so slightly. “‘Bout touching you just like this.”

He slinks two big fingers inside you and you moan deliciously, the feathery wings of the newly-formed dove fluttering against your insides. 

“Gotta stretch you a bit more,” he grunts into your throat, pushing in a third finger. “Daddy’s so big and you’re so tight, angel. Don’t wanna hurt ya. Not too bad at least. Not yet…That’s it, pretty girl, fuck,” he grins when you slide back on his thumb in pleasure which had traveled to the rim of your asshole “Good girl, so good for Daddy. So naughty too. Don’t think Daddy won’t punish you.”

“Want you to hurt me, Daddy,” you moan. “When you fuck me. Please fuck me hard. I want all of you – pain and pleasure. One hundred percent Joel. Joel, please, I need–” 

And Joel does stop for a moment.

“Never hurt you in a way you didn’t beg for,” he tells you seriously. “You know that right, baby?”

You stop your rutting against him and look into his eyes.

“Are you kidding? You would protect me with your dying breath. I know that, Joel. Never been afraid of you since I’ve really known you. Not once. I mean: fuck; you gave up your whole life for me. To keep me safe, for fuckssake. In every word you say and don’t say to me I can feel how much you love me.”

 “I do love you so much, babygirl,” he whispers, nuzzling your forehead. “If I had to, I’d do all of it all over again if it meant I’d get you. I’ve made mistakes, big ones, but protecting you, loving you was never one of them.” 

Warm tears trail down your cheeks, but Joel licks and kisses them away. 

“Wanna feel me inside you?” he asks. “Don’t wanna go too fast, but I need you, baby. Needed you for so long…Sweet little pussy’s just cryin’ for Daddy, huh? Gonna fit me just like a glove, I just know it — if you wanna…”

“Yes, please, fuck me, Daddy! Please, Joel Wanna feel you—ah!” you moan as Joel shoves his entire length into your pussy in one hard thrust eagerly. “Oh my God, please fuck me harder!” you moan, reeling from the deep blend of pain and pleasure of him sinking inside you, clenching down around the thickness of him. “Joel, please!”

He pauses, sweat glistening on his brow, sneering.

“You really want harder?”

You shiver. The way he says that makes your heart beat wildly in your ears.

“Because babygirl, I would treat you like porcelain if you want it so. I will never hurt you, my angel, my gift from god, my goddamn sweetest heart please know I will break my fucking hands before they would hurt you, before I would ever hurt you in a way that you didn’t want, no matter how much it hurt me. Do you understand me?”

“Of course, Joel. But you want it too,” you smirk. “You aren’t innocent in this, are you?”

“Fuck, of course i’m not innocent. I want you, babygirl. In every way there is to want another. Want every inch of you, inside and out. Wanna mark you up so the world knows you’re mine, honey. Want everyone to smell me on you and know I marked you, moved in you, darlin’, please, see, I’m no fucking Hemingway, I didn’t go to college, I’m not like you with words, but I need you to understand that I mean this with my whole chest and heart. Really, I’m not a big talker, never was, babygirl, but I need you to understand I—”

  “I do, you dumbass fucking fool!” you shout, giggling at his desperation. “I’d understand you even if you were speaking another language. You’ve made your intentions loud and clear. I don’t want a Hemingway, I want Joel Miller!”

You pull him in for a kiss and he thrusts in you again a second time and you end up moaning clumsily in his mouth, but you can feel him smiling , smiling like some dumb idiot against you and maybe you called him the correct insult because he is a dumbass fucking fool for you. And it turns out you must be one as well because you are smiling like an idiot for him too.

“ Joel,” you moan as he begins to move inside you, hitting deep places that Max or any of your previous exes never went. Pleasure is tracing itself along the line of your stomach. “Oh my god, I love you so much,” you babble and you’ve never meant that more than you do now.

You can feel Joel coming apart above you, plowing into you, sighing deeply. His grunts and moans and thrusts spur on the intense pleasure. 

“More!” you moan. “Oh my god. Harder, please, I need–”

Joel plants rough bites on your neck and kisses too like he’s trying to consume every inch of you. 

He places a large hand around your throat questioningly and you nod.

“Beg for it,” he commands in his deep, sexy voice — the voice that’s been in every wet dream you’ve ever had. You think you might just pass out from the sound alone. 

“Choke me, Daddy,” you whine as pathetically as you possibly can, batting your eyes. “Oh, please, I could cum from just this, but I want more. More of you. All of you.”

“As you fuckin’ wish, baby,” he snickers in amusement. “Bet no little boy ever fucked you like this, huh?” he growls, continuing his rough pace, slamming against your walls, his eyes growing wild.

“They don’t compare to you, Joel. It’s always been you. In every orgasm. Fuck, never felt like this! Shit! Shit!��

Joel reaches out his large scarred hand and applies gentle delicious pressure to your throat. You know even something like this can be dangerous, but you crave that feral look of violence in his eyes and the power that comes with it. You want him to own you completely – every inch of you. You want him to mark you just like he said he wanted to because he is yours and you are his and has it ever really been any other way? You can’t remember properly from the pleasure rushing through you, the white dove inside you spreading and fluttering its wings, cooing softly. You think it’s only ever been what you feel now.

“Joel, Joel, fuck!” you scream, orgasm building in you.

“I know, babygirl. I know,” he coos himself into your mouth.

He pulls you closer, presses his nose to yours, his lips to yours, biting and kissing like a starving man possessed. He looks into your eyes and it’s there! That look of pure predator closing in on its prey, that look of ownership but also the most intense love you think you’ve ever witnessed. You would recognize that look anywhere. Your starved brain cries out for oxygen beneath his iron grip. 

“Gonna cum again, angel,” Joel growls. “Gonna make you cum so hard you’re never gonna forget who you belong to. Whose pretty pussy this is.”

He is pounding so hard against your cervix and his dick is so big inside you and the pressure of his hand squeezing around you is so overwhelming and the scent of him could make you faint straight then and there, but you let go and feel yourself cumming in enormous waves as you squeeze down around Joel’s prick, the pleasure more intense than any single bodily experience you’ve had.

“ Daddy ,” you whine breathlessly, tears trickling out of your eyes. “Oh my god!”

“You’re mine, babygirl, always have been–FUCK!” he shouts into your throat, collapsing on top of you.

And then you feel him starting to empty himself inside you, painting your sensitive insides with trustful after trustful of hot cum. You’ve never felt so helplessly full and sticky in your life, the brilliant pleasure billowing through every inch of you. You want to feel like this every day, stuffed full of Joel’s cock, so close to him you can feel his heartbeat against yours, the one true place you belong. 

“So beautiful, babygirl,” he whispers in an exhausted type of awe.

When your words come back you reply,

“Shut up, you’re the hot one,” through a snicker. 

You look down at your body, covered in purple bite marks and bruises forming like galaxies across your body. 

Joel snorts. Then he sits up on the couch and you lean your cheek against him. You lean up to kiss his cheek and he blushes ever so slightly.

“I said a lot of stuff, Y/N, but I want you to know that I meant all of it,”

“Yeah, you probably said more in the last hour than you’ve ever uttered in your entire life,” you tease, sitting up.

“I’m serious,” he snickers.

“I am and was too,” you nod. “I’m so glad that you’re here with me — that we did this. I know that our…origin story is weird and unconventional and some might argue straight up wrong, but I need you, Joel. I don’t care about that or think I could go back to pretending to be what we were.”

“You think I’d want you to act like that?” he asks incredulously. “You think I want this to just be a one-time thing?”

“Of course not,” you smirk. “But as close as we are I can’t actually read your mind. I mean…how are we going to be together realistically?”

“I’m not sure,” Joel admits, frowning a little. “For now it has to be a secret unless you want your mother or brother in jail for murdering me this time around. But someday, I dunno. It’s dumb…”

“What?”

“I just have these thoughts sometimes about you ‘n me. I…” Joel’s cheeks turn a bit pink. “Had a lot of time to think in prison, you know? And I’d Imagine us living on a ranch somewhere quiet out in the country with a flock of sheep. I could work at the tractor and auto-body repair shop that’d be out there, you know, in this dream of mine, and you could be a counselor at a local school if that’s what ya wanted. I don’t know, l know it sounds silly, but nobody would know or bother us there. But I want you to finish school and have the best life possible, babygirl. I’d wait a thousand years for you, but if you didn’t want me anymore the way we are now, I’d respect that. And if you’d allow it, I’d still be there for you just in a platonic sense — or just there for you however you want because I can’t imagine my life with you in it. I’d do whatever it takes, brokenhearted or not. I just can’t be separated from you like that again. A day longer in prison and I could’ve keeled over and died. And it’s crazy how much I mean that.”

“I don’t ever want to be separated from you again, Joel,” you agree. “I know the original plan was for you to find work and get an apartment of your own and I would love for that to still happen, but with you being intimate with me in every way – even if it has to be a secret. I don’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I need you in mine. I’ve never needed something more than I need that. Understand?”

Joel pulls you into a hug and leans his chin on the top of your head. He kisses it then your forehead. You lean up and plant a kiss on his throat and then his Adam’s apple.

“Don’t mean to get too ahead of ourselves now. We can take things a day at a time,” he mumbles into your skin.

You yawn contentedly, the tiredness clawing at your eyes, so unbelievably spent.  

“I like hearing about your dreams and I’d go anywhere with you, Joel. But I am kinda dead from how good you just fucked me. Take me to bed?” You ask exhaustedly into his chest.

“Of course, babygirl,” he smirks down at you.

***

You don’t let go of Joel all night long, burrowed up against his chest, his heartbeat against your ear. And he doesn’t let go of you either. After the most intimate night of cuddles and snuggling you’ve ever experienced as well as the deepest and most restful sleep you’ve had in ages, you wake up to Joel gone from the bed. You frown, having wanted more than anything to wake up in his strong arms. Fear grips your insides as you wonder if he finally realized last night was a mistake and that you were never meant to be together in the first place (what you fear more than anything). A stupid vulnerable tear comes to your eye, but then you cock your head and hear music playing. Guitar music. 

You think of your apartment as shitty, but truthfully you care deeply about your little private space and one of the things you do actually love the most about it is the tiny balcony that overlooks a measly courtyard and part of the city. That’s where you find Joel in the deck chair holding his guitar, strumming it lazily.

“Mornin’, beautiful,” he says, fingerpicking a melody that scratches at the back of your mind with familiarity. 

“Morning, handsome,” you tell him softly, plopping your smaller hand down on his shoulder. 

The city hasn’t woken up yet, the soft glow of morning shining beams of light onto you and Joel, filling you with warmth. You sit down in the deck chair next to him, bathing in the sunlight.

“Whatcha playing?” you ask curiously, crouching to sit up on your knees.

“You know the song ‘Hallelujah’ by Leonard Cohen?” Joel asks in that beautifully deep voice of his. 

He isn’t even singing yet but you could listen to him forever. 

“‘Course,” you nod. “It’s a classic. You used to play it for me once in a blue moon.”

“Know what the word ‘Hallelujah’ actually means?” he asks. 

You think about it for a second.

“It’s about praising god and all that, right? Why d’you ask?”

He pauses, both his words and fingerpicking. 

“Babygirl,” he begins and you can tell he’s about to say something serious. “You know I’m not too good with words, but I need you to know this: I’ve never had much to thank god for in my life, except for Sarah, you know? But then He took her away…”

You place your hand on Joel’s and he looks at you sadly, but appreciatively. He flips it over and holds it in his giant paw of his own marked-up hand. 

“And I was so fucking angry. Nothing left in me. The only good part of me gone. I was a broken man. And I hated Him. But then He, despite the shit I’ve done…He gave me you . And I know our road hasn’t been easy or fair, and the pain you’ve felt and I have felt but…I guess what I’m trying to say is you are the reason I believe that any type of…goodness— of holiness— can exist in this universe. And I’m not a religious man, I don’t believe in most of that dogmatic type of shit, and I don’t think you do either, but I do think someone or something is up there and I wanna thank them for you. Does that make sense? Do you wanna hear what I mean? I just feel so damn grateful.”

A tear you hadn’t noticed was there rolls down your cheek. 

“Of course it does and of course I do,” you tell him.

You think perhaps this is the closest thing he can do to bearing his soul to you. 

And then he leans over and kisses the tear away and begins to fingerpick the familiar melody.

♪ “I heard there was a secret chord…”♫

You listen to his deep weathered voice as the sun grows higher in the morning sky, casting both light and shadow over Joel’s wrinkled, handsome face. The light trails over you too. You feel the dove inside you cooing contentedly, dusting its wings gently against the edges of your insides. 

♪There's a blaze of light in every word / It doesn't matter which you heard / The holy or the broken Hallelujah…”♫

When he finishes he places his large, scarred, calloused hand in yours and you hold it between your own scarred fingers.

“Thank you, Joel,” you tell him, meaning every word. “I think there’s hope for us, you know? I don’t believe in hippie-dippie type stuff, but something in this universe did bring us together. And I’ll be forever grateful for that too, ya know?”

Joel squeezes your smaller hand, his big fingers engulfing yours as the dove coos louder inside you.

“Babygirl, you know that I ain’t a good man, or a rich and educated one like maybe you thought you’d end up with, but I am less of a broken one because of you and I’m never letting you go. If we’re together, I think we have a chance.”

A/n:PLEASE COMMENT LIKE REBLOG IM BEGGING IM PLEADING IM CRYING DID THE SMUT LIVE UP TO YOUR DREAMS????

PART 1

PART 3 (coming soon)

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

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[kisseobie]

bro i’m literally going insane for jongseob fics, no one is writing for him???? PLEASE RECOMMEND BEFORE I GO INSANE 😭😭😭

i got u bff! here are some personal favorites of mine <3 wish more people wrote for him tho :( keep in mind that i put recs that are strictly just jongseob, there are lots of good ot6 headcanons/reactions though that u can find on here for more seob and piwon content :3

the firsts i’ve never felt by @sxtvrns

- an essential fic for seobrangis. it was my first jongseob fic and still reigns supreme as my favorite!

jongseob bf headcanons by @sminiac

- sminiac (hi oomf) has such great characterization of jongseob, please check out all of their work!

similarly.. jongseob as your boyfriend by @channiesgirlie

- more cute bf seob content :3

“i already know how it feels” by @sugawhaaa

- made me feel hot all over lowkey, kind of pushed me to write smut for jongseob so thank u sugawhaaa

damage to me ! pt.1 + pt.2 by @sminiac

- i’m begging yall to check out their page pls pls u won’t regret it

all my friends know by @kyocakez

- literally released a few hours ago and i was kicking my feet

i’ll go (+ alternate ending) on ao3 by an anonymous user

- almost tipped the firsts i’ve never felts’ crown as my favorite seob fic. so worth the read. i love seob and readers relationship in this one

… and of course my own masterlist is filled with seob and will continue to be filled with seob! hehe hope you enjoy these <3