#‘is this… the will to write?’ i say staring anxiously at it from afar

[daisychainsandbowties]

i love that the urge to write the pjo au again has come back to me as a vision of camila wiping blood off ava’s face with a handful of mcdonalds napkins. i mean like yeah what is this fic about if not blood and mcdonalds?

[deadghosy]

JEALOUS HEAD CANNONS PLEASEEEEE

BET, also I’m doing my drafts of people who asked me of tbp. I guess I’m back to writing. I’m just taking it slow.

✦Jealousy✦

Summary: some dude is trying to hit on you while your partner/friend watches

Robin Arellano

(he is definitely the type to look not jealous but is)

Robin definitely is watching from afar seething in envy. It’s cause you are giving him attention more than Robin.

You haven’t glance at robin since you entered school. Robin walked up from behind and wraps his arm around you waist, he grips you waist and you squeaked. You turn to face him to see him glaring at the dude you were talking to with a smile and a vein popping out.

The dude looks scared and walks away. “Robin, what’s up dear?” You ask while tilting your head, blinking owlishly. “Nothing cariño..just tired.” He said with a tight smile.

You sensed something was wrong and just sighed..”alright, if you say so.”

After school you can’t get Robin’s right expression out of your head, you had to press him about it.

After finally pressing him at his house he snapped. “OKAY FINE, maybe I was jealous at that dude staring at my amor like that..but it was reasonable because you didn’t even glance at me once as if I was a ghost Bebé!” He stops to collect himself, he never yells at you so he just relaxed and grabs your hands. You nodded understanding and kissed his hand comforting him.

“I’m sorry Robin….I should’ve known you felt this way..” Robin just nods and lay his head on your shoulder and everything was better for Robin.

Finney Blake

(The anxious type to talk about it but does)

Finney is watching from his team at you talking to Bruce, you were giggling and touching his shoulder as Bruce laughs with you with his natural charming smile.

Finney bites his finger anxiously (I headcannon he bites his finger a lot by being anxious or randomly) later after his game finney was quiet as hell when you were walking him home. He wasn’t talking, looking, or anything.

You noticed and asked him, at first finney didn’t wanna say anything at first, he was just so anxious between asking “are you cheating on me” or “do you love me.” The sweet boy just wants to know but he finally gets the guts to ask you.

“Are you cheating on me..?” Your eyes widen shocked as you stopped walking and look at him crazy. “What the fuck….no..nonono.. Finn…babe..why do you think that?” You say asking. Finn starts to bite his fingers but you pull them from his mouth being serious.

“Finney, I know you know I love you..,okay?” “Then why were you being so friendly with Bruce?” He said anxiously… you just sigh and grab his hands, “Bruce is literally my brother… I’m adopted..we was just making jokes..”

And now finney felt embarrassed because you and Bruce don’t have the same last name. And that situation got cleared quick.

Bruce Yamada

(The type to pull you away from the person)

It was all because of some cocky baseball guy trying to get your number, his enemy team of one of his games.

Bruce was in between smacking him with his bat, or hitting his groin on purpose with the baseball bat when he swings.

Your honest reaction was walking away and Bruce snickered but stopped seeing the dude wasn’t giving up, so Bruce walked up and pushed him aside. Putting his arm around your shoulder and walking with you.

Bruce wouldn’t be the very like confronting type like Vance, but he will surly show he means business.

Vance Hopper

(The confronting type)

Oh, oh THIS MOFO IS CLEAN WITH IT!

You and Vance were literally hanging out in the store like usual with you watching him, some guy starts to flirt with you and at first Vance didn’t hear what the guy was saying until this

“Man I didn’t know Vance had a pretty little thang like you…”

Vance immediately stops playing his pinball game and looks at the guy who is flirting with you. You looked as if you were about to punch him but Vance grabs you with a nonchalant face and looks at the guy in front of him. Vance literally puts that guy to the ground with a smug smirk. “What was that?..say it again to my partner. I fuckin dare you, you will taste the floor for weeks if I see you by them/her/him again..”

After that you teased him about being jealous after the guy ran away, but Vance wasn’t ashamed, “hell yeah I was, he can’t be the only one looking at your beauty..” he then kisses your lips gently as you two get slushes

Billy Showalter

(The overthinking type)

Billy seen you with one of the most charming guys he know…he felt as if you were going to replace him? Was you? He didn’t see you try to for months and 1 year of dating..maybe you are just talking to him for a clas project. Right? Right?

He was definitely overthinking it as he closes his in his room at the memory of you talking to that guy in the neighborhood, maybe you were cheating? You didn’t tell him that you were gonna meet someone. He knows and you know that you can see other friends as he is not the controlling type. But he just felt jealous for some reason. And he can’t put into the fact that guy and you seemed so close…

His thoughts stopped at you knocking on his bedroom door before opening it with a smile. Billy swallowed his thoughts and put on a half ass smile, you got onto that smile quick as your smile faded.

“Yo, you okay?” You asked sitting in his bed where he was laying down. He just nodded but that wasn’t enough as you needed a verbal okay. You narrowed your eyes making it clear you want to know what’s up with him. He sighs spilling the beans and you listened and listened.

You comforted him about his feelings and hugged him, you told him that the kid was asking how to get paper boy job like Billy and Billy felt slight appreciated with an adorable smile.

It was an adorable ending with a sweet treat of you and Billy eating ice cream and watching cartoons

Griffin Stagg

(Feels like he is going to be replaced and not loved again until proved wrong)

With you being his older sibling figure and kinda of a parent figure as well, he actually felt jealous when other kids his age got your attention as he didn’t get most of it at home.

This little gremlin holds your hand with a mean stare but you scold him about that so he does it more secretly 💀

You never thought griffen would ever act this way which is weird to you as griffen wasn’t the type to show that emotion.

You had gotten a call from your class to the principal office only to see griffen with a book and the principal just sighing. Apparently griffin had thrown a kiddie book at some kid that was either talking smack about you or just felt a little leapy and just thrown it.

After griffen got scolded from you and the principal, he finally told you his fears of you leaving him for someone else and him not having someone to care for him like you do.

You comfort him and hug him, you guessed it as because of the amount of homework you got into that you didn’t give griffin much attention. But you did tell him to stop throwing books…it became quite a habit for him to do that.

[caramelberzatto]

second beginnings // c. berzatto

back at it again with another fic. i've missed writing for carmy so, so much.

Spring in Chicago was nothing like you’d ever seen. An already vibrant city seemed to welcome a new light as Winter loosened its frosty grip upon the streets. Gone was the slush and sleet that crowded the gutters and pavements, once treacherous journeys were now leisurely strolls. Small petals drifted down from the newly flowering trees that lined the sidewalk, and one landed in your hair as you wandered towards your apartment.

Having just spent the better part of Saturday morning in a crowded studio, steady hand guiding a finely polished brush over expensive canvas at some art class your sister had dragged you to, you were ready to get home and relax. There were avocados, cream cheese, and a bag of store-bought bagels on your bench, and you could almost hear them calling your name.

Matching your pace to the song playing in your headphones, you almost didn’t notice the man in the alley as you passed by a dingy building with newspaper covering the windows. You paused mid-step, taking a closer look. Plucking one headphone out, you called a name that hadn’t passed your lips in a very long time.

“Carmen?” The man turned, cigarette between his lips. “Carmen Berzatto?”

Starting down the alley towards him, you weren’t sure he’d even recognise you, but his eyebrows raised as he took you in. And as he said your name, welcoming you with a rough hug and a ‘no fucking way,’ you couldn’t help but grin.

It had been ten long summers since you’d seen him, and he was no longer the gangly teenager he’d been back then. You’d kept tabs on him through the years, unable to just let him disappear from your life after the monumental Christmas night that still made your blood run cold if you thought about it too much. Reading all those articles, watching from afar as he racked up achievements in the culinary world, working in the most prestigious restaurants across the world…

But then why was he here, standing before you in a back alley in Chicago, looking so… empty?

“You’re back in town?” He asked, hands still bracketing your shoulders as though he thought you’d disappear if he let go. “I thought you flew off to Italy or something.”

“I did, yeah. Hung out in Florence for a bit, eventually ended up in France. Brittany, but then I did a very, very brief holiday stint in Monaco. Fucking expensive there. Went and stayed with one of my aunts in Belgium, and—” You were rambling now, and Carmen was just staring at you, taking in every word.

“Sorry. Yeah. I’m back in town. Gonna stay around for a while, help my sister out.”

Carmy nodded, his gaze drifting skyward, then to the cars passing on the street, before settling on you again. “Yeah, cool. Your sister, she just, uh…” He snapped his fingers at his side, trying to recall whatever he was going to say next. “She just had a baby, right? Yeah, Natalie told me. At least, I think that’s who she was talking about.”

Nodding, a soft smile on your face, you were about to say something else when the screeching of metal broke through the Spring afternoon, and a door swung open spilling a young woman out into the alley. She was gorgeous, dark braids held back by a patterned bandana, with a kind face that, at the minute, was warped by a frown.

“Uh, chef, we’re gonna need you back in here.” She glanced over her shoulder, back through the door, hands anxiously fiddling with the cloth tucked into her apron. “Like, now. I’m so sorry, person I’ve never seen before, but who I can tell Carmy actually wants to talk to… from the way he’s staring at me right now.”

The woman smiled at you, offering a small wave that your returned. You liked her already. “I’m just gonna…” She jerked a thumb over her shoulder and disappeared back through the door.

Carmen turned back to you, sighing. Running a tattooed hand through his hair, still just as unruly as it had been in his youth, he shook his head.

“That’s Sydney. She’s, uh, she’s great. Talks a lot.”

You nodded, shoving your hands in your pockets. “She seems cool.”

“She is, yeah. Um, yeah, anyways.”

Silence descended, tainted only by the faint clatter and bang of… whatever was going on through that door. A breeze ruffled his curls, blowing them into his eyes, and he looked like that quiet wallflower again. The boy you’d once known. But as you stood there, taking him in, had he really changed at all?

His piercing gaze caught on yours, but he looked away instantly, almost guiltily.

“Well, I should go. It was… really nice to run into you.” The way he said it, like admitting a weighted truth, made something in your chest tighten.

Nodding, you said your goodbyes, and turned back to the street, continuing on your way home. Though the quick thud of footsteps on the pavement made you pause, and you turned to find Carmen catching up to you.

“Can I see you again?” The question flew out of his mouth before he could second guess it. “To, like, talk, or somethin’?”

“I’d like that.”

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

Friday Kiss Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @winterandwords!

This is an excerpt from Fucked at Five before the story takes place. Couldn’t decide between this or a fun little scene I wrote of friends assuring friends for Robots & Gardens. 

I tag (only if you want!) @jezifster @the-void-writes @writingpotato07 @ezestreet @manathen @kashas-stuff @nanashi23

“You know someone really did their thing with this drink.” 

Ian looked away from Elliot seeing Julie from afar hoping she’d come over and end this situation. This was supposed to be a break from the bullshit, hard to accomplish with Elliot right here. 

“Yeah truly. What makes you say that?” Ian responded absentmindedly. 

“For once I’m looking at you and don’t want to throw up in my mouth.” Elliot wiped his nose with the hand holding his cup failing to hide the embarrassment that arose from admitting it, “You’re not a bad looking guy. Your personality is just foul.” 

Silence fell between them for a moment. Happy squeals from little kids and drunken laughter filling the background. 

“Uh… Maybe you should–” 

Ian went wide eyed as he was cut off by a pair of drunken lips against his. His own hands grasping at the coarse dirt, but not moving to push Elliot off. 

Elliot broke the contact almost as soon as it happened and locked eyes with them ears and nose burning red. 

“I’m sorry I just did that. I should’ve asked first.” They turned their head and coughed anxiously into their shoulder, looking back to Ian. “May I kiss you?” 

Ian stared at him for a moment or two in silence, attempting to blink away the confusion. He swore up and down Elliot hated him. Though the disliking was pretty mutual. That’s not what this looks like. 

Ian’s eyes wandered, looking the man in front of him up and down. 

It doesn’t even suggest that. But it’s just one night, maybe for now the fellow deer morpher could be forgiven. 

“Yeah.” Ian breathed out barely catching on to the response that fell past his own lips. 

Elliot kissed Ian once more, properly this time. Capturing the breath and unease from it. 

Ian lazily rubbed their hand against their pants leg before allowing their fingers to trail along Elliot’s antlers. He focused only on the silent breaths and the fuzzy feeling of the new velvet of Elliot’s antlers. There was no elder morphers, no fear of ruining Julie’s night, no stress that he wouldn’t enjoy the night just Elliot. And for once that was okay. 

Elliot’s heart pounded in his throat, overcome with warmth from Ian’s actions. Ian may be a dick but he was sending Elliot reeling. He unconsciously smiled into the kiss, slipping a couple of his fingers beneath Ian’s belt pulling the morpher closer. He clumsily tugged on Ian’s bottom lip and broke the contact. 

They both pulled away letting silence settle between them again as they looked to one another awestruck and embarrassed. 

“Never tell Julie about this?” Elliot asked running a hand through his hair. 

“Never.” Ian responded immediately. 

Elliot reached for the empty cup he had forgotten and lingered for a second. He parted his lips to speak and shook his head, scurrying off back to the coolers. He couldn’t joke away this one, not yet. 

Ian gripped his shirt and stared into the campfire attempting to calm the rushing adrenaline. 

“That man is a menace.” Ian thought, happily taking the alcohol Julie had arrived with.

[bellewintersroe]

I would like a band of brothers matchup please!

I'm a 5'5, tattooed, chubby, bisexual cat mom.

My most defining trait is my maternal spirit (I need to know that everyone is okay all the time, I'll feed you, cuddle you whatever) and on the flip side I am willing to go to war for you too.

I am pretty self-critical, but I have been working on it quite a bit. So I think my confidence is at a 6 compared to a 3 previously.

I love reading and writing (but like a lot of my hobbies if I'm not immediately the best at it, I don't like doing it). I also love cross-stitching and embroidery.

Some little bonus things: I can’t ride a bike or drive, I prefer cats over dogs (though I do love my brothers dog very much), I bounce my leg and play with my earrings when I'm anxious, I’m doing my masters in sociology

hey!!! Thank you for your request!!So sorry for the long delay, I’ve not been very active with my writing, but hopefully back again <3<3

also if you guys get a ship with somebody but want another one feel free to request again just letting me know who you got last time& that you want a diff ship!

I ship you with… Carwood Lipton!!

Listen Lip here I feel like doesn’t have a set type, especially when it comes to physical features- he would see you and just be flawed by your beauty.

I think he’d deffo admire from afar at first, not wanting to come across disrespectful or break any fraternising rules if u guys meet in easy / serve / work together.

I said he doesn’t have a type but Lip would LOVE your curves. He has to literally build up the courage and fight against his demons to check you out- omg he’s so respectful and feels bad when his eyes roam over you for the first time. Maybe he’d accidentally catch a glimpse of your butt and noooo he feels so bad- but oh my god he almost found himself needing to stare even more.

scared of objectifying you, and like I said before being disrespectful as so many man can be (this is the 1940’s after all bffr). But he never does that, and never will.

I feel like there would be an established friendship between you before anything got romantic. It would remain this way for a while I feel like? maybe he see’s you bouncing your leg and panics because that’s something his mom used to do when she was anxious- before she got hurt.

he’d probably ask you if you’re alright, giving you that maternal kinda vibe back, and I feel like you’d give it right back and ask HIM if he’s alright and suddenly he’s at a loss because he’s never really felt cared for before?

a little bit of background on Lip but he lost his dad at a young age and his mom was also injured in the car crash that took his dads life. Lip is used the care taking role, he doesn’t see it as hard work because he genuinely loves taking care of the people he loves.

However let’s say he’s sick or wounded and you show him the same compassion and care he has and suddenly the roles are reversed. He falls deeply in love and attached to you, the way you’d smooth your hand over his head when he’s got a fever, or how you’d check up hed taken his medication at the right times.

He’d know fully when to take his medication, but would purposefully slip up just so he could see you again.

a very independent man, but just the smallest part of him feels very dependent and attached to you- the way you’d cuddle and feed him without him even asking- he’s obsessed. Of course he’d never let this become a known thing to the men around him, but everybody can notice his softness around you.

I think Lip would be so deeply in love and involved that if you’re self critical it would hurt him too. Like I can see him frowning and questioning why you feel that way. I think he’s very good with words, so definitely expresses his love and admiration for you in the best way possible.

Every time there’s a barrage of bombs Lip’s heart skips a beat thinking of you, he finds himself anxiously pacing around until he finds you- even just catching a glimpse at you is enough to know if you’re ok or not.

let’s say you take up a new hobby and don’t feel the best at it, Lip would be very hands on and try join in with you, helping you, even if he’s terrible. The two of you would be able to laugh about it. let’s say you’re studying, even tho he doesn’t have a clue what sociology is he’d try act immersed, but the confusion is written all over his face.

he tries lmao.

I think he see’s your love for dogs and cats after the war, he might see glimpses of it during- but there’s not really many animals running around the streets of Holland lmao.

If you took home a tiny puppy or kitten would day, you could just plop it on his chest and he’d think it’s the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

I think judging by Lip’s gentle nature he also too would LOVE animals. They’re just more pure than animals. Imagine a big burley guy like Lip, embarrassed to walk the tiny chihuahua you brought home, explaining that you picked up another stray.

would want to call it something cool like Rex or Bear. It deffo ends up being called something like Tinkerbell.

His smile would be so big, and I think he’d love all the little things you do, it brings him peace. Especially after the war you're perfect for him, you ground him, make him feel safe.

mist important the two of you care for each other, I think Lip if a very hard man to have a dispute with- so I can imagine this being a very chill, happy relationship.

feels like his head is in the clouds when he’s around you.

high key would LOVE showing you off, even if you’re a little shy, he loves people knowing you’re with him and vice versa.

not very jealous, he’s very secure and rationale and I don’t think he’s too overly romantic- but maybe when the two of you were just friends he see’s how caring you are towards one of the men, say Guarnere, and he gets a little jealous.

he soon shakes himself out of that mindset. This was war- you had to be there to take care of people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I ship you platonically with… Gene Roe!

Unlike you Gene had to learn the caring instinct when he gets chosen as a medic. I feel like he immediately goes to you for advice when he see’s your motherly instincts.

he feels safe around you, like he can be vulnerable, and maybe asks a little too many questions about everything- you don’t mind though, you’re happy to help.

the advice turns more into casual chats, and soon you’re walking around Toccoa talking about random stuff.

I think he’d be a very stable friend, no ups and downs, he can tell when you’re in a self-critical mood and probably tries to speak to you about it.

maybe he wouldn’t understand it? But you best bet he’d try.

asks you about you and Lip with a smirk on his face- he can see what’s going on the whole time between you and the sergeant ;););)

[duckymcdoorknob]

heya ducky - hope you're doing well!

truth be told, i feel like i'm close to having some kind of mental breakdown. i am an icarus; i genuinely believe that there's no point in doing something if you're not aiming for total perfection. anything less than exceptional or at least above average is essentially worthless to me. this attitude towards my life has only been further exacerbated with one of my best friends dropping out of university (i'm so proud of him for doing so because he was not doing well but i feel like there's a huge gap in my life now and as if i'm in a state of mourning). please may you do a sugawara, atsumu or suna comforting their romantic partner reader in some kind of isolated place (rooftop, garden, etc). thank you so much for everything you do <3

Hi Henry!!

I hope that by the time you see this you’re doing better, I know it’s been ages since you’ve sent this in, but I do my requests chronologically. So I hope that it’s not too late!!

I hope all is well for you and that you may be in any sort of place that’s better.

For you? I do all three characters :)

Okay suga’s got long as fuck, but I think he’s your comfort character if i remember correctly so ye :)

Suna’s is a little short bc I don’t know how to write for him oops 🫣

CW BELOW THE CUT: Severe perfectionism, self-health neglect

𝐾𝑜𝑢𝑠ℎ𝑖 𝑆𝑢𝑔𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑎

As we all know, Suga is very attentive and observant. He noticed the drop in your attitude right away.

He found it best not to pry, not wanting to be the reason that you became even more upset.

Instead, he tried to be as supportive from afar as he could.

He’d leave chocolates in your locker every morning, alongside a sticky note.

Sometimes they’d say something to pick you up, like a compliment or a joke. “Your shirt reminds me of you, beautiful and vibrant.”

Or, other times it would give you some kind of inspiring message. “I believe in you with all of my heart. I love you.”

He’d place it in your locker during morning practice, hoping and praying that his little gesture would be enough to get you through the day.

Suga felt his heart sank the day he saw you receive a certain assignment back.

This had been one that the two of you worked together on (oh no, cheating?? In high school? Unheard of!) and he felt good about.

He watched as you read the bad grade and gently placed the paper on your desk, subsequently staring blankly at the white board in front of you.

He didn’t know how, but he knew he had to step in and make sure you were alright.

So, he left another note.

“Hey! I have a surprise for you! Courtyard @3:30?”

All he could do now was hope and pray that you would show up…

When the clock rolled to 3:30, Koushi anxiously awaited your arrival on a bench. He sat patiently, holding a cool leaf that he would assign as your “surprise” if you were to ask.

With a sigh of relief, he saw you clearing the corner with a beaming smile on your face.

What he didn’t know was that you had put this smile on, two seconds before you entered the courtyard.

“Hello my love!” He chimed, patting the seat next to him.

“Hi Suga!” You beamed in response, sitting next to him, “So. What’s the cool thing you wanted to show me?”

Koushi gulped, still holding his smile on. “Look at this amazing leaf that Noya found for me this morning!” He showed you this leaf as if it were a $100 bill.

“Ah… wow!” You replied, flabbergasted. “That’s… that’s something alright!”

Your boyfriend sighed, suddenly leaning onto your shoulder. “Okay I might have lied. I just wanted to spend time with you.”

You couldn’t help but smile sincerely this time around. You ran your fingers through his hair absentmindedly. “I could use the time right now.”

“So I’ve noticed…” he murmured.

“What?” You asked, fingers slowing to a vault.

Shit.

Koushi sighed, unmoving. He took your hand and kissed it gently. “Please tell me what’s been going on. I’m so worried about you.” his voice was just above a whisper.

Your breath caught in your lungs as you registered his words, “Nothing im-“

“(Y/N). You barely reacted to the grade you got on the assignment we worked on. What’s in that pretty head of yours?”

“I feel so… so empty.” You whisper, gripping his hand suddenly, “Like nothing matters anymore.”

“I see. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, Suga. I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to find the reason to do anything unless if it’s absolutely perfect. I just want all of my efforts to be recognized.”

Koushi lifted his head off of your shoulder and pressed his forehead to your own. “I love you. So damn much.” After that, he held both sides of your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Anything that you do makes me absolutely proud. No matter how badly our ship sinks, we always get back up.”

He pressed another kiss to your forehead, “I don’t know who set such high standards for you, but I’m here to crush them. You’re doing just fine yourself and you don’t need anyone to tell you how to live your life. I’ll always be pleased with you, no matter what you do.”

“Thank you.” You whisper in reply.

“Anytime. I’d do anything for you.” And with that, he finally pressed the sweetest kiss on your lips.

𝐴𝑡𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑢 𝑀𝑖𝑦𝑎

Atsumu is such a sweetheart. This boy would do anything for you.

He learned from a fellow classmate that you had been in a pretty tough spot lately, so he immediately jumped into action.

“Good morning!” The blonde boy chimed as he stood next to your locker.

“Uff- hi ‘Tsumu.” You replied, clutching your chest, “you scared the bejeesus outta me.”

“Sorry!” He gave you a kiss on the cheek as an apology, “I have a big surprise for you later!”

“Oh? A surprise, for little ol’ me?” You teased, smiling in giddiness.

“Yep!” He cooed, “I can’t wait!”

As he turned away to go to his own classes, your boyfriend hoped that this would be enough to get you through your day.

To his delight, Atsumu was met with you at his locker at the end of the day.

He grabbed his belongings, chatting about his day with you. When he was all packed up, he led you to his house by hand.

“Okay so!” He beamed as he entered the house. “I noticed that you haven’t been your happiest lately, so I had ‘Samu help me with this…”

You immediately felt your heart sank. He had noticed? You were doing so well keeping it hidden…

Regardless, you quirked a brow at him out of curiosity.

“Surprise!”

When your attention shifted to Atsumu, he was standing in front of a bunch of random ingredients.

“We’re gonna make and decorate sugar cookies!” He chimed.

You couldn’t help but smile. Maybe this would be fun.

Unfortunately, everything decided to go against you. Your icing was too warm, so it melted as it came out of the bowl, there was a hole in your piping bag, and some of the cookies were too crumbly.

So there you and your boyfriend sat, covered in miscellaneous baking ingredients, and colored icing.

“Damn it,” you muttered through gritted teeth, “This was just another thing for me to fuck up, and I did a great job. Sorry, ‘Tsumu. I must’ve messed this up for you too.”

“Sweetheart, what do you mean?” Atsumu instantly put down his cookie and bag, taking both of your hands, “Here, come talk to me.”

He led you to his bedroom and shut the door. He sat you down on the bed and held you in your lap. “Tell me everything. Please don’t hesitate; I’m right here for you.”

So, you told him. You told him how awful you felt whenever things didn’t exceed the expectations that you had for yourself. You explained how you felt a huge void in your life since your friend left school.

“(Y/N), I love you.” was all he said.

He pulled you into a tight hug, kissing your cheek int he process. “I love everything about you. I love how passionate you are to succeed. Even though it may be a little much sometimes, your iron-will never lets you down.”

“I love how you can completely drop whatever’s bothering you, so that you can hang out with me. I know that it takes a lot out of you to pretend to be okay when you’re not. So, thank you.”

“And. I think you’re doing the best you can. I love you, but I think your standards are too high. You have to give yourself room for failure. You are human, after all. You can’t always have things go the way you want them to. But I adore you for trying your best every time.”

You sighed and squeezed him tighter, holding him as if he would leave you. “Thank you ‘Tsumu. I love you too.”

“Come on.” he said, picking you up from the couch, “We have cookie pieces to try and decorate.”

You nuzzled into his shoulder. He really did love you with all of his heart.

𝑅𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑜 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑎

When Rin noticed that you weren’t taking care of yourself, he immediately spiraled into an internal panic.

You were not one to ever endanger yourself, so he was automatically worried.

Whenever he would text you, you wouldn’t reply for hours straight.

Whenever he would call you, you would reply with “Can’t talk. Have to study.”

Whenever he would see you in the hallway, you would have the most prominent bags under your eyes.

Eventually, he couldn’t stand to see you tearing yourself apart.

He shot you a quick text one Saturday morning. “Hey beautiful. Meet me at the memorial at 1pm?”

To his delight, you replied immediately. “That sounds fantastic right about now.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then, love.”

Suna sighed and flopped backwards on his bed. What could he do to help you?

Hours passed as the middle blocker brainstormed how to approach the situation, and how to comfort you.

When it was time for him to leave, he left with the best idea he could come up with…

Suna arrived at the park and found you sitting by the fountain. He chuckled lightly to himself and made his way toward you.

“Hi, (Y/N).” He said happily, sitting down on the grass next to you.

“Hey, Rin.” You replied, immediately laying your head in his lap.

“So I wanted to ask you something important.” He said, running his fingers through your hair.

“And that might be?”

He sighed.

“Are you okay?”

Your breath left your lungs as you attempted to speak. “I- yeah. I’m okay, honey. Why do you ask?”

“Sweetheart please don’t lie to me. I just want you to be happy again.” He muttered, cupping your cheek with his hand.

You sighed and looked up to the sky. “No, Rin. I’m not okay.”

“Talk to me, please.”

“Nothing is worth it anymore. I try so hard to be absolutely perfect all of the time. My studies, my grades, my activities. All of it. If it isn’t perfect, I hate the result.” You explained.

“Right.”

“And I just don’t feel like I’m full anymore. There’s been a void in my heart for a long time, and I just want it to go away. I wanna be good enough. I want to be able to look at myself and see a successful person.”

“Well, you just need to look harder.” He replied.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Rintaro, what do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re perfect the way you are. Please stop trying to change yourself. You try the hardest at every activity you do. You try so hard to be the best and it kills me to see you neglecting yourself and your health. Please don’t hurt yourself anymore, I just can’t take seeing you so beaten down.”

“Rin, you don’t get it.”

“I understand plenty. We’re in a hard spot with our education right now, but there’s no need to have such high standards. I know how badly you want to succeed, but you already are. You’re doing your best at everything, and that’s all we could ask you for. I’m already proud of you, so at the very least that should be enough.”

You sighed and sat up, turning around to tackle him in a hug. “I love you, Rintaro.”

“And I love you more, (Y/N).” He replied softly, returning your hug tightly.

—————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎—————

[rodr1cks]

Hi! I don't know if your request are open, but I'd like to know if you could write a rodrick x reader where the reader is Rowley's sister and discovers her talking on the phone with a friend saying she's in love with Rodrick and tells Greg and he tells her that Rodrick has been in love with her for a long time and they try to put them together?

cw: none it’s pure fluff

word count: 1.8k

“I know! And he didn’t even apologize!” Greg ranted into the receiver.

“I’m sorry, Greg,” Rowley frowned, sympathetic nature as present as always. “Anyways, mom says dinner is ready, see you tonight?” Rowley’s tone lifted at the end of his sentence, excitement brewing as he thought about the sleepover he was meant to have with Greg later that evening.

You slid into the kitchen on your socks, just as Rowley was concluding his conversation with Greg.

Rowley sat anxiously through dinner, quickly consuming everything on his plate, including the vegetables. You observed him from across the table, cocking your head as your younger brother inhaled his peas like he hadn’t eaten in days.

He took his last bite before exclaiming, “I’m going to pack my stuff for Greg’s!”

Not without clearing his dishes first, of course.

You rolled your eyes at his charisma and headed into the living room. You slumped over on the couch, limbs splayed every which way as you called your friend, Marissa. You had been needing to gush to somebody about your newest crush, Rodrick Heffley.

You had only interacted with the messy haired boy in passing: family dinners, picking up Greg, dropping off Rowley, etc.

“I don’t know what it is, he’s just so- so- captivating. God, Mar, I swear I could watch him play drums for hours on end!”

Unbeknownst to you, Rowley had entered the room and was about to speak. You were too caught up in drooling over Rodrick to notice. “Hey, y/n-” He cut himself off quickly, curiosity getting the best of him.

“And did you see what he was wearing at Matt’s party? Those jeans? And that eyeliner? God I could just tear them-”

Rowley cleared his throat, unwilling to hear the rest. “Y/n can you take me to Greg’s, please?” He stood awkwardly with his lips pursed.

Your head whipped around faster than the speed of light. “Marissa, I gotta go.”

“Rowley, how much of that did you hear?”

He lied, something he wasn’t really good at, “Not much! I promise!”

“Rowley Jefferson you had better keep your mouth shut, or I swear I’ll-”

You stopped yourself, closing your eyes and drawing in a deep breath. “Just get in the car.” You breathed out in a scarily calm tone. Your red headed sibling nodded frantically out of fear and darted to the garage.

Usually, you would make him walk, but ever since your infatuation with Rodrick began, you were more eager to give him rides over there. The mere prospect of getting the slightest glance sending excitement throughout your entire being.

When you pulled up to the Heffley home, you gave him a final glare. “Say nothing.” He gave you the same shaky nod he gave you only moments ago. With that, he was bounding towards the front door. You made sure he got inside safely and drove off.

“Rowley? Everything okay?” Greg asked his friend, concerned with his behavior. Rowley couldn’t handle keeping secrets. His hands grew clammy and a slight sweat broke out on his forehead. Rowley had an uncomfortably fake smile plastered on his face as he tried to assure Greg that everything was just peachy.

All it took was one knowing look from Greg and Rowley broke.

“Alright, fine! I heard my sister talking to her friend about how hot Rodrick is and how she wants to-”

“Okay, okay! I get the picture!”

Greg took a moment to proceed, his brows furrowed as he brought a contemplative fist up to support his chin.

“Lemme get this straight. Your sister likes my brother?”

Rowley nodded slowly.

“Y/n likes Rodrick?”

Rowley nodded again, confirming Greg’s exclamations.

“But y/n is smart a-and hot!”

“Greg! Don’t say that!” Rowley groaned, rolling his head back in disgust. Greg threw both of his hands up in defense, “I’m just stating facts.”

“Wait, I have an idea.” A pit of dread grew in Rowley’s stomach, Greg’s ideas never turned out well.

“What if we set up y/n with Rodrick? Just hear me out, this could be good for him.”

Rowley mulled the idea over in his head, thinking that maybe dating you could make Rodrick more… agreeable? Maybe you could be a good influence on the intimidating teenager. A happier Rodrick would make sleepovers at Greg’s a lot more pleasant.

“I think that could work,” Rowley said apprehensively. “But how do we do it?”

Greg shrugged, “Simple, we just tell Rodrick there’s a really hot Girl interested in him.”

The boys proceeded to draw up a plan.

Phase one: The approach. Greg and Rowley nervously ascended the wooden steps that led to Rodrick’s room. Rodrick was laying on his back, spinning a drumstick between his nimble fingers.

He shot up immediately when he noticed the boys’ presence. “What are your dweebs doing up here?”

Phase two: Delivery. “Calm down Rodrick, we have some information you might wanna know,” Greg reasoned cooly, easing Rodrick’s anger from a roaring ten to a mild six.

Greg nodded over at Rowley, signaling him to start talking.

“W-well,” Rowley stuttered, “I uhm- heard my sister talking about you and she- she likes you and she was talking about your jeans?”

Rodrick blinked in confusion, processing this intel.

“Your sister likes me? Are you sure she meant me?”

“That’s what I said!” Greg exclaimed and Rodrick shot him a terrifying glare, silently telling Greg to can it.

Rodrick was honestly shocked. He always observed you from afar, deciding himself that a chick as cool as you would never go for him. This news was absolutely world shattering for the boy, he completely admired you.

Phase three: Action. “We have a plan.” Greg said, a conniving grin creeping onto his face. “Rowley calls y/n, tells her that he’s feeling sick and blames it on Mom’s pot roast or something. Then when she rushes over all worried, you greet her at the door. And then you work your Rodrick magic!” Greg smiled, abundant pride for his plan evident in his stature.

“It’s a go.” Rodrick declared, scrambling around his room to put on deodorant, a new t-shirt, and cologne before pointing at Rowley. “Make the call.”

“Hey, y/n,” Rowley groaned into the phone, sounding as sick as he possibly could. “I- I think I ate something bad and I really need you ro come get me.”

You sighed, telling him you’d be there in ten minutes and to have his things ready to go. You departed for the Heffley house for the second time that night.

When Rowley didn’t come out to your car, you trudged up to the red door to go retrieve the sickly boy.

You gave the door three lazy knocks, expecting Rowley’s face to be the one behind it when it swung open. “Hey kid, are you feeling okay?” You asked, not yet making eye contact with the figure leering in the doorframe.

Your eyes widened as you came to realize who it was.

“Funny seeing you here,” Rodrick drawled out, a smirk tugging at his lips. Your cheeks burned with the heat of one thousand suns, you were not expecting this tonight.

“Y-yeah,” you smiled awkwardly, staring at your feet. “Rowley called, he uhm, he’s not feeling well. So if you could just get him for me I can leave. Immediately.” You cursed yourself for your blubbering idiocy as you twiddled your fingers.

“Actually, Rowley is feeling much, much better.” Suspicion grew as you studied Rodrick’s devious expression. “What’s going on?” You asked, genuinely puzzled as nothing was making any sense.

“I don’t know, y/n. Why don’t you come in and tell me?” Rodrick was surprisingly smooth in this situation, despite his nerves being at an all time high.

“Rowley is just up here,” Rodrick said while guiding you up the stairs to his room. In the meantime, Greg and Rowley peered out from the hallway, watching you follow Rodrick upstairs and giggling to themselves.

The overhead lights in Rodrick’s room were turned on, the glow from his string lights illuminating the area instead. “Mood lighting,” as he had called it. Rodrick had already instructed the boys to stay far away once you had arrived.

You were still lost, Rowley nowhere in sight. “So? Where is he?” You asked expectantly.

“Here’s the thing y/n. You know Rowley can’t keep secrets, right? I mean you have to know that, he is your brother”

Shit.

“That little shit stain! I’ll get him, I swear to god!” You turned to bound down the stairs, ready to tear the entire house apart in hunting for him. Rodrick grabbed your wrist before your foot could even reach the first step.

“Y/n, relax, relax!” His grip on your flesh made your breath hitch and stomach churn. “It’s okay, I feel the same way.” Rodrick’s cocky facade dissipated into nothing as he revealed his feelings.

You got a glimpse of a more vulnerable side of Rodrick that you were sure he didn’t typically share. “But girls like you don’t usually like stupid guys like me,” Rodrick was staring at the ground now, grasp on your arm softening.

You were too unsure of your words so you opted to move your free hand to hold his bicep, closing a considerable amount of distance between the two of you in the process.

“Rodrick, I’ve never liked anybody as much as I like you. And I don’t mean that in a weird or creepy way it’s just that-”

Now it was time for Rodrick’s own addition to the plan. Phase four: The kiss.

Your rambling was cut short by a pair of warm lips pressing against your own. He kissed you with just enough force to cause you to stumble back a bit, causing you to brace yourself against his torso.

He carded a gentle hand through your hair and tugged back on your soft locks. You moaned at the vibrations tendrilling at your scalp and kissed him with even more ferocity.

Somehow, you ended up on his bed, straddling him. The blankets strewn across his mattress melded against your knees and the fronts of your calves as you stabilized yourself on his lap.

He placed apprehensive hands on your hip bones, unsure of what was okay and what wasn’t. You placed your hand on top of his larger one, assuring him that you were comfortable. You even allowed a small whimper to leave your throat as he tightened his hold on you.

You only pulled away to catch your breath, looking into his eyes for the first time that night. You smiled warmly at him as you cupped his cheek. Suddenly, Rodrick’s signature smirk returned to his face.

“Now tell me what you were saying about my jeans.”

[shingia]

hopefullyy this inspires u to write,,, can i request hc's of the boys getting jealous seeing their s/o work well with another person on a team/club? like good chemistry with a dance partner for example! (u can choose who u write but can it include iwa!!) <33

✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS SEEING YOU WORK WELL WITH ANOTHER PERSON ✗

a/n : kdjfkdjdkdj i love this request omg ty ! i did half hc/half scenarios bc i thought the request fitted this format <3

-> iwaizumi, osamu, kuroo, suna, tsukishima

-> warnings : kuroo’s a bit suggestive (tbh i don’t know about the rest. it’s just... kinda hot? (tsukki’s only fluff tho<3))

-> reblogs are >>>>

— IWAIZUMI

• iwa’s jealousy was practically non existent until he actually saw you interact with your partner

• don’t get me wrong, he absolutely loves your smile - but he especially loves to be the one who caused it

• he tends to get physically very protective of you, so expect his arm to stay wrapped around your shoulders most of the time. because to him it’s the easiest way to show the world (but especially your partner) that you’re his

• he also not-so-subtly offers you to wear his clothes on days when you have practice. and he secretly hopes that someone will ask you who they belong to...

« it’s cold outside. you should wear this ». iwa’s low and unannounced voice makes you turn around in surprise. leaned against the bathroom’s doorframe, he’s holding your favorite jacket in his hand - the one with his name written on the back, and you suspect that this might not be a coincidence... with a chuckle, you agree to put it on, noticing the proud spark in his eyes. « you know, i’m pretty sure everyone already knows i’m dating you » you tease him with a wink, all while also admiring the way his name takes up the whole width of your back. « oh yeah ? » he asks, a smirk tugging at his lips as he leans forward to rest his hands on the sink behind you. trapped between his outstretched arms, you watch his smirk grow just a little bit bigger as he lets out, very quietly, « well this is just a reminder... it better be the last ». his green eyes locked with yours could almost make you forget about his arm snaking around your waist at a painfully slow pace. almost.

— OSAMU

• look, he’s very happy for you. no doubt about it. but he’s so used to see people fawn over his brother that he can’t help but get a little protective from time to time

• since gifts are his #1 love language, he might buy you a workout-friendly piece of jewelry that you can wear during your practice

• he also insists on dropping you off and picking you up as often as his busy schedule allows it. especially since he learned that your partner was willing to give you a ride home...

• it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, obviously. he just doesn’t trust them yet

• and that’s why his kisses - and pda in general - are a bit more « intense » than usual

leg bouncing up and down, osamu is (very) anxiously for your conversation with your teammate to end. because after watching the entirety of your practice, he needs a little reminder that you two also have incredible chemistry together... a better one, even. so as soon as he sees you wave your teammate goodbye, he stands up straight, arms open just wide enough to welcome you against his chest. but instead of the chaste kiss you expected to get, you’re actually greeted by his left hand grabbing your sides while his right meets your lower back. disconcerted, you don’t even have time to say a word that his mouth crashes onto yours so eagerly that you have to lean back a few inches. « wh-what was that for ? » you pant as soon as his warm lips have left yours. « nothing. i love ya, that’s all » he smiles innocently, glad that you didn’t notice the cocky look he just gave your teammate who witnessed everything from afar... exactly as planned.

— KUROO

• passive agressive™️

• he would insist on properly meeting your partner but oh god they better brace themselves,,,

• because kuroo’s the kind of boyfriend that will shake their hand hard enough to make them yelp, all while having an angelic smile plastered on his face

• oh and you can forget being called by your name : he’s going to demonstrate the entire variety of nicknames he has for you. he might even come up with new ones just because he’s feeling « inspired »

• every single thing he says to your partner has to be a reminder that you two are dating. like « oh yeah they told me about this yesterday.. during our date ». just to make sure that there’s no misunderstanding.

« well... speak of the devil », kuroo hears you chuckle, your voice almost drowned out by his heavy breathing. he’s obviously planing on apologizing for being late... but not now. there’s something he wants to do first. still very aware of your partner’s presence right in front of you, he decides to securely yet eagerly wrap his arms around your waist before spinning you around proudly. « so... you guys were talking about me ? » he asks, glad to know that he’s the reason behind your giggles. « we were, actually » you answer a bit more seriously as he finally puts you down, still keeping both his hands on your waist. « well, i am your boyfriend after all... » he starts, interrupting himself to place a loud peck on your jawline. the only thing you can think is about is how awful this situation must be for your partner... kuroo, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered at all, as shown by the way one of his hands discreetly makes its way under the fabric of your t-shirt to rest directly on your skin. « hands off, kuroo » you order him with a slap on the back of his hand. an offended gasp leaves his lips, yet he complies reluctantly, thinking that your partner probably already knows everything that needs to be known about him.

— SUNA

• he doesn’t really mind it... as long as you’re willing to cuddle once you get back from practice. if you’re not, then he’s gonna start to worry

• because cuddling is probably his favorite ‘boyfriend privilege’ and he doesn’t want it to be taken away from him

• his schedule is pretty tight so he might not be able to attend any of your practices, but he asks you to record it as much as you possibly can so that he can watch the videos with you afterwards

• and seeing how smoothly you and your partner move together definitely doesn’t help with his worrying

it’s been thirty minutes now, and suna’s still not done watching the videos you took today. he loves to share these moments with you, snuggled up against each other the bed ; but most importantly, he has someone to keep his eye on... « babe- are you 100% sure that this was part of the choreography? » he suddenly speaks up, his eyes leaving the screen for the first time. you quirk a curious eyebrow, more surprised by his unusually suspicious tone rather than by the question itself. « oh, the hand on my waist ? yes, rin. it was ». at your words, his lips press into a thin line, he’s obviously far from being convinced. but you know your boyfriend well and you’re quick to reassure him : « you know, his hand might have been on my waist but you’re the one laying in my bed right now ». the frown on his face disappears almost immediately - much faster than you would’ve thought, replaced by a much more confident expression as his hands start to gently stroke your sides up and down. « mmh, i guess you’re right.... i mean, at the end of the day, only i get to have ‘all of this’ for myself » he smirks, playfully eyeing you up and down until he can’t resist the temptation of your slightly parted lips anymore.

— TSUKISHIMA

• tsukki’s not jealous, he’s just... well.. cautious. or at least that’s what he tells you

• but, deep down, he knows that simple cautiousness wouldn’t make spend his days and nights stressing about this new partner of yours...

• so, after a few weeks, his impassible facade starts to crumble a little bit. nothing too extreme, but just enough to let your partner know that you’re taken.

• and he knows he doesn’t need to do much : one of his signature scornful looks is more than enough. especially when he’s staring at your partner dead in the eyes while you’re greeting him with a hug and a kiss after your practice

« tsukishima kei, i’m waiting for an explanation ». with a sigh, your boyfriend drops his book on the table, turning his chair around to face you. « i don’t have one, i already told you. you told me to introduce myself, and i did. end of story ». you both know that tsukki did not just ‘introduce himself’ like any other human being would have done. and that’s precisely what you’re trying to make him admit - because your partner looked genuinely scared during practice today. « wha- no, i didn’t look down on him. it’s not my fault he’s so short... » he mumbles under his breath, trying his best to avoid any eye contact with you. but you know that only a slight tilt of his chin upwards is enough to make his eyes lock with yours - and that this is enough to have him admit anything. « you’re jealous, kei. and it’s painfully obvious by the way... » you smirk - but this smirk disappears in a split second as he slowly gets up from his chair, towering over you like he usually does. « ok, maybe i am. but i just wanted to make sure that he knew his place. and especially mine » he finally admits, his lips spreading in a scornful smirk that would be terrifying if his eyes weren’t filled with the infinite tenderness he has always felt for you.

✔️taglist : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @mochi-marie @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac

[nagichi-boop]

So this piece of writing is a little…heavier than my usual stuff. It also focuses more on Skyla and Elesa rather than Submas, tho the twins are in it. I’m desperately hoping I have handled this topic with the sensitivity it deserves.

cw // disordered eating, body dysmorphia/negativity

— x —

“Hey!” Skyla chirped from afar as she jogged towards the group, waving her arm in the air. “Sorry for the wait, guys! Hit a bit of turbulence on my way here.”

“Is that your attempt at a pun?” Ingo enquired bluntly, to which Skyla winked and stuck her tongue out, playfully bumping her fisted hand against her head.

“Was it that bad?” she replied.

“I have heard worse,” Emmet chimed in before giving Elesa the side eye.

“Aww Emmie, you don’t like my puns? Wynaut?” Elesa responded. Emmet sharpened his gaze disapprovingly while Ingo stifled a laugh.

“So we are headed to the carnival?” Skyla asked.

“Indeed we are,” Ingo replied. “We best make a move so that we arrive as scheduled.”

The four of them then began to head towards the carnival. Ingo and Emmet walked ahead, chattering away while Emmet swung his arms excitedly. Elesa and Skyla weren’t far behind them, but Elesa quickly noticed that Skyla was a lot more reserved than usual. She occasionally caught Skyla staring vacantly, then snapping back and looking at Elesa with a forced smile.

“Hey Skyla,” Elesa spoke up. “Is everything okay?”

Skyla tilted her head innocently. “What do you mean?” Elesa could tell something was off about Skyla. It wasn’t fully apparent what it was, but something was amiss.

“I don’t know,” Elesa replied honestly. She wanted to probe, but she didn’t wish to seem indelicate. “You just don’t seem to be your usual bubbly self I suppose.”

Skyla looked away briefly, then smiled at Elesa. She stopped and twirled. “See? I’m all good! Just saving my energy for the rides!” Elesa scowled. She didn’t believe Skyla, especially since the twirl lacked Skyla’s usual energy, but equally she didn’t want to push the matter since it was clear Skyla didn’t want to share.

“If you say so,” Elesa spoke softly. “But please let me know if you’re not feeling okay. I’m here to listen if you need me.”

The two of them remained silent for the rest of the journey until they finally arrived to the carnival. Emmet and Ingo excitedly pointed to rides they wished to go on which usually brought out a chuckle from Elesa. She was a bit distracted by Skyla’s offbeat mood, but she tried to act as usual to avoid suspicion from the twins as she figured a spotlight was the last thing Skyla wanted. The four of them began going on the rides, which mostly resulted in Elesa and Emmet laughing at Ingo’s obnoxiously loud screaming. By the time they were getting onto the fourth ride, however, Elesa noticed that Skyla seemed lethargic all of a sudden.

“You okay?” Elesa asked, gently nudging Skyla’s side. Skyla looked up at her and weakly smiled, raising a shaky thumbs up. Before Elesa could ask further, Skyla climbed onto the ride next to Elesa and the harness was lowered onto them. The ride began, getting faster and faster. Elesa continually glanced over at Skyla worriedly, taking note of how still and sluggish Skyla looked.

When the ride ended, Elesa hastily jumped off of the ride, picking up her and Skyla’s bags from the floor. She then walked back to Skyla and watched as she struggled to get off of the ride. When she got off, she wavered slightly, then walked towards the steps to get off of the ride. She then hesitated, her legs shaking. Ingo and Emmet turned back to look at her, then each extended a hand and helped Skyla down, with Elesa walking close behind her. It was then that the brothers began to realise that something was wrong.

“Is everything okay, Skyla?” Ingo asked anxiously. “You don’t seem to be coping very well.”

“I need to sit down,” Skyla said weakly, to which Elesa guided her to a quieter part of the carnival and helped her gently to the floor, then sat beside her. Skyla began to hyperventilate slightly and her eyes teared up, causing the others to be concerned on her behalf. She looked up at the twins, trying her best to force a smile so as not to worry the others. Her nerves then got the better of her, and she anxiously burst into laughter, leaving the trio troubled and confused.

“Maybe you should sit out on this next ride,” Elesa suggested, placing a comforting hand on Skyla’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Skyla agreed, her compliance catching Elesa a little off guard. “You two can go though,” she said, looking up at the twins. Ingo hesitated, but Skyla smiled insistently at them, so after some hesitation, the two of them went off to continue going on rides. “You can go too if you’d like,” Skyla added, turning to Elesa. “I‘ll be okay.”

“I’m good,” Elesa replied. “I could use a break anyways.” Skyla then rested her head on Elesa’s shoulder, closing her eyes from fatigue. “It’s not too loud here, is it? We can move elsewhere if you’d like.”

“I’m okay,” Skyla said meagrely. “I like noise. I find it comforting.”

“I see,” Elesa commented before she looked away from Skyla. “You’re normally pretty good with these types of rides,” she continued. “Any idea why you’re not coping well today?”

Skyla hummed softly, contemplating her response. She hesitated a little, then spoke. “I haven’t eaten in a while I guess,” she responded pensively.

“Did you want me to get you something to eat? It might help you feel better.”

Skyla opened her eyes somewhat desperately. “No, thank you,” she answered. “I’ll eat something later.” They both sat there silently for a while as Skyla rested her head on Elesa’s shoulder, who in turn eventually rested her head atop Skyla’s.

“Elesa,” Skyla suddenly spoke up. She hesitated for a moment before continuing. “If I tell you what’s wrong, do you promise you won’t hate me?” Elesa lifted her head slowly and sat up, which prompted Skyla to do the same.

“Of course I won’t hate you,” Elesa answered. “You’re my friend and I’m here for you, just like you’ve been there for me.” Skyla fidgeted with her hands nervously, thinking of the best way to convey her feelings while Elesa patiently awaited her response.

“Lately I haven’t been eating as much,” she began speaking, refusing to make eye contact. “I guess I have been worried. About how I look, I mean. I am a gym leader and I have had a lot of eyes on me recently, especially since I’ve been hanging out with you more.” She then became flustered and began to flail her arms. “Not that I’m saying any of this is your fault! I knew what I was getting into when we started hanging out!” She abruptly stopped waving her arms around and her body jolted forward, her breathing once again more laboured. She caught her breath and chuckled anxiously. “Sorry, I worked myself up too much there. Where was I?” She paused for a moment to think, then continued. “What I meant was I noticed how much people looked up to you. I’m one of those people. You have this…presence that you carry with you, like you can flawlessly captivate an entire room without even trying. And I’ve always wanted to be like that. I began to notice how…sloppy I look. So I thought I’d try to change my look. I wanted to be fun and girly, but when I started to experiment with my look, I began to realise just how much I hated my body.” Skyla fell silent, her voice beginning to waver. “I just…want to be pretty I guess.”

Elesa felt something snap inside her. She had been friends with Skyla for so long and had never realised this. Having it spoken aloud, Elesa could recall all the ways she had changed, including the numerous times they had gone clothes shopping together, how Skyla often asked for Elesa’s reassurance. She looked over to Skyla, who seemed to be trying to hold something back.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone,” Elesa responded softly. She glanced up, watching the carnival rides glow and flicker. “I do have to disagree with your observations, though.” Skyla looked up at Elesa curiously. “You seem to think of me as someone who can effortlessly turn heads, but that simply isn’t true. As a model, I feel like I am always being watched, scrutinised. Those times you think I am being - as you put it, ‘flawlessly captivating’ - those are the times I am performing the most. I feel like I can’t ever afford to make mistakes, even when I am out just having fun. And that sometimes carries over to when I am out of the public eye, too. Like deep inside I feel the need to always put up a front to make people like me.” Elesa then looked at Skyla, gently smiling at her. “And as much as you may not believe me, I admire you a lot. Your tenacious, confident, energetic: whenever you’re around, your energy is felt by everyone around you. In fact, I remember when we first met, I was actually sort of jealous of how you looked.”

Skyla perked up in disbelief. “You? Jealous of me? How’s that?”

“Well you see, I have often had issues with how I looked. If you can recall, I once confided in you that I felt I appeared too serious, but that’s only scratching the surface. I’ve always wished I could be more cutesy, that I wasn’t so tall. Being in the public eye is a double edged sword, you see. On the one hand, it can feel validating to have so many people openly admire you. But when someone points out your flaws, it stings so much more. You become deeply aware of them. Many people have commented on my height, saying how it isn’t ‘lady like’ to be this tall. So when I saw you, and how confident you were in just being you, how you had so many physical attributes that I wish I had, I felt a bit envious. And as cliché as it may sound, your confidence in who you are made you more attractive as a person. You felt free to just be yourself. But after being in the modelling business for so long, I gradually realised that we can’t be perfect because such a thing doesn’t exist. Our admiration of each other is proof of that – we both yearn for what the other has. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, but you shouldn’t break yourself to get there.” Elesa then smirked. “Otherwise you won’t ever be Tranquil.”

Skyla pouted, puffing up her cheeks in disapproval. “Now isn’t the time for your silly quips!” They looked at each other, then burst into laughter. After composing themselves, Skyla’s face shifted to a melancholy expression. “I’m sorry. If what you’re saying about me is true, I guess I’ve been letting you down recently.”

Elesa suddenly pulled Skyla into an embrace, which startled Skyla. “You haven’t let me down,” she spoke kindly. “No matter how you choose to express yourself, I just want you to be happy. The rest doesn’t matter to me. And from now on, I’m here to help you. You don’t have to fight alone anymore.” Skyla felt her eyes well up with tears. She gripped the clothes on Elesa’s back and began to weep into her shoulder. Elesa sat there patiently, holding Skyla gently and brushing the back of her head with her hand comfortingly.

“What did we miss?” Ingo asked nervously, surprising both Elesa and Skyla who jumped back from one another.

“I-Ingo?” Skyla stuttered. “W-when did y-you…?” Emmet approached Skyla and somewhat forcefully pushed a large Emolga plush in her face.

“This is for you!” Emmet chipperly announced.

“When did you get this?” Skyla asked in confusion, taking hold of the plush.

“You may not expect this of my brother,” Ingo replied. “But he has a knack for these types of games. He insisted we try out the booths to get something for you to try and cheer you up. We wished to return more promptly, but we had a difficult time choosing which plush you would like most.”

Skyla held the plush out in front of her, then blushed and cuddled it, burying her face into it. “Thank you, guys! I love it!” Elesa smiled, then gave the twins a thumbs up of approval.

Emmet suddenly shot his arm up. “Let us change tracks! To the Rondez View!” Everyone looked at one another, then nodded in agreement to the plan. Elesa stood up first, then offered her hand to Skyla, who took it and was lifted to her feet.

“My lady,” Elesa teased, which encouraged a giggle from Skyla. Elesa linked her arm with Skyla’s and they followed the twins, who enthusiastically guided them to the Rondez View Ferris Wheel.

— x —

Thank you for reading. Again, I know this is a bit darker than my usual pieces, but I kinda had an itch to scratch. I probably wont rly touch on this theme again this deeply again, but the implication is that Elesa would help Skyla recover since she knows words of affirmation can only go so far and desires for Skyla to be happy within herself again.

Hope you enjoyed this, or maybe felt comfort from it? Idk, I’m writing these comments while I’m depressed sooo~

[technowoah]

THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)

CHAPTER 3: YOU’LL BE BACK TIME WILL TELL, YOU’LL REMEMBER THAT I SERVED YOU WELL.

Chapter Summary: Declarations are written, you and Eret have a talk, finally you make a decision, and Tommy wants to fight someone.

pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader

an// I hope you guys want more of this story cause I have some more ideas for y/n to go through. 

⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, mentions of fighting, not proofread.

word count: 4.0k

part 2 - part 4

"Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of victory." Wilbur finished closing the book with a huff. 

You had been listening the whole time. Of course it was good, but you finally figured out what L'Manburg stands for even more. Wilbur made this place because of freedom. They wanted independence from the kingdom itself. It was sort of contradictory at first, You couldn't get your finger on it. All in all it was a beautiful piece of writing and it showed the true feelings of this land.

"What do you think?" Wilbur had gotten up and placed the book in a chest.

 He stayed over there by the chest in the corner leaning against said chest while staring at You still sitting at the huge meeting table. You sat there for a good 5 minutes. He had read the book slowly emphasizing the parts which were supposed to hit hard. You had to admit  it seemed rushed, but still beautiful.

"It was a beautiful piece!" 

"Thank you! I wrote it myself." Wilbur smirked as he sat down on the edge of the table.

"I would've guessed so." You laughed a little. It was still a serious matter to you. 

"I'm still curious as to why you are here." Wilbur had spoken out of nowhere. It was completely off topic.

"I'm curious as to why you still have me here." You shot back.

"Touchè" Wilbur thinned his lips as he looked out the van's window.

You followed his line of sight and saw what was happening outside. Tubbo was currently laying down on the grass while Tommy sat by him staring at the door of the van. Eret stood up talking to Tubbo and Fundy was lying on his stomach facing away from the group, but it seems like he was still listening because his fox ears kept perking up when Eret or Tubbo spoke.

It was a long silence before Wilbur spoke again and filled that silence.

"Tommy found a woman to join L'Manburg earlier on, but you were American so we didn't let you in. He didn't like that at all. I'm surprised he hasn't convinced Tubbo to shun you." Wilbur shook his head while laughing.

"So you let me in? Why?" You asked, still serious.

"You're Eret's wife now, also half American. Half." Wilbur explained while making pitching motions with his fingers.

Before You could speak Wilbur started again, "Also I said you intrigued me, you haven't found your place, I assume. L'Manburg might be your home."

You hummed in agreement. He was right, but you weren't going to tell him that. You were in the middle of a debacle all of a sudden. You just wanted to be a citizen of this new kingdom that your close friend was a part of. You felt so small, you felt like you had no purpose. Maybe this is your calling. 

You were conflicted. This could be a new home. But then.

Your eyes widened as you stared out of the window looking at Tubbo and Fundy laughing in the grass at what Eret said, and Tommy tapping his fingers on his thigh staring worriedly at the van's door. This can't be youhome. You were a spy. You were going to be queen. This is youplace, not some fake country in the woods. You eventually had to go back to Dream, Sapnap and George. That's your purpose.

"I'll be a part of L'Manburg. I want to become a part of L'Manburg. " You stated strongly, trying to make your facadè stronger.

"What if I say no again?" Wilbur smirked.

"I am going to be a part of L'Manburg. This is my home right" You smugly.

"We'll see after today. I'm going to take this and go outside and read out the Declaration to my fellow L'Manburgians. C'mon." Wilbur walked back over to the chest and took out the book.

Wilbur beckoned You over to the door and they both exited the HTO Van together.

"Oh my gosh! What were you two doing in there?!" Tommy shot up from his seat on the grass and sped walked over to the duo. Fundy was finally sat up by both Tubbo and Eret.

"Having adult conversations, which you know nothing about." Wilbur said laughing.

"Hey! I am a grown adult! At least more grown up than Tubbo over there!" Tommy complained pointing at the other kid.

"Hey we are the same in maturity I like to think!" Tubbo sat up from his spot. 

"I haven't been here for long, but Tommy is the least mature person here." You sighed.

"HEY!"

"THANK YOU!" 

"Hey children gather around!" Wilbur finally interrupted the meaningless conversation.

Fundy, Eret, Tommy, and Tubbo gathered around Wilbur and You.

"You wanted to know what we two were doing, well." Wilbur brings the book from behind his back into their view.

"This is the new declaration! Gentlemen, I need you all to sign this." Wilbur handed the book to Tubbo first and then passed it around.

They all seemed proud. Their eyes lit up as the book was passed around. You could see Tubbo trying not to flip through the pages, Fundy was over Tubbos shoulder looking at how intricate the book was. Tommy was impatiently waiting while Eret stood calmer to the side.

All of a sudden You heard something around the walls of L'Manburg. It was like a loud rustling of somesort. You quickly scaled the walls with your eyes and found a familiar set of netherite armor and black hair. You saw three other figures in that same area as well. You saw Dream and George and a new face you haven't seen before. He had tufts on blonde hair coming out of his helmet. He looked dangerous.

"Um guys. You have visitors." You said while still looking at the four soldiers over the walls.

"Oh god." Eret whispered.

"Um they are in here. They're in HERE." Tommy said anxiously.

"It's fine they can watch this. I want them to hear." Wilbur said as he beckoned the five of them to the top of the HTO van.

Once they made it all on the top of the van Wilbur faced the four before speaking out in a loud strong voice.

"THE DECLARATION OFINDEPENDANCE

Signed: Wilbur Soot, Tubbo_, TommyInnit, ERET, Fundy

Forever the nation of the DreamSMP have cast great sins upon our great land of the hto dog van. They have robbed us. Imprisoned us. Threatened us. Killed many of our men. This time of tyranny ends with us this book declares that the nation which shall be henceforth known as L'Manberg is seperate, emancipated and independant from the nation of DreamSMP. The union of the masters of men.”  

Wilbur began to pace around the area they were all in as he continued the long declaration.

“Together we are one. When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one to dissolve the bonds which bind us. Disregarding of this truth is nothing short of tyranny. WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT. THAT ALL _MEN_ ARE CREATED EQUAL The right of the people exists above the right of the king. The right of the government and the right of the economy. From the hto dog van we shall prevail. Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of victory." Wilbur ended.

"Im framing this fucker" The boys started cheering as Wilbur jumped down and entered the van. 

You couldn't take your eyes off of the soldiers. You watched as there was something that fell inside the walls. From afar it looked like a book, a book that fell on the ground inside the walls. The boys were still talking and cheering, but apparently Tommy followed your gaze to the book that fell. 

"What is that?" Tommy said and You and him hopped down and walked over to the book that was dropped. 

It had to be from Dream. You looked up the walls and saw no one there, they must've left. Tommy picked up the book and flipped through it.

"Uh oh." Tommy said suddenly.

"Uh oh what?" You peaked over Tommy's shoulder. 

He handed you the book and your heart dropped. "Declaration of War."

"Oh shit." You whispered 

"Yeah" Tommy and You headed back to the van. 

Tommy snatched the book from You's hand and yelled to Wilbur who was still in the van.

"Wilbur! There’s a book for you. He dropped a book!" Tommy yelled. Tommy and You made their way into the van and found Wilbur leaning underneath a door frame.

"Hold this for me. Let's swap books." Wilbur said.

Wilbur took the new book and began to read it aloud.

"Decla- uh oh."

"Wait, can you read it out loud?" Tubbo asked 

"What was it called?" Eret asked as well.

Wilbur made his way back into the meeting room, sat down, plopped the book on the table and everyone followed suit into the room. He placed his head into his hands and began to speak again.

"The dec- the declaration of war." He finally said.

"OH!" 

"Oh no!" 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are in a state of war." Eret said playfully next to me.

"This is how we consolidate our power! Men this is not something to fear, this is how we show that we are a nation. If we can hold this off, if we can thwart their advances. Do you know why they're attacking us? Power, greed," Wilbur paces around the HTO van angery still ranting about the situation.

"They're scared!" Tubbo added

"If we can show that our nation is strong enough to hold up against an army, then we can show that we are strong enough to run independently."

"You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Dream if you want independence." You spoke up.

The L'Manburgians were now outside since they followed Wilbur out here.

Wilbur turned around to face You with a neutral face. It was a contrast from just a few minutes ago.

"You're right. For now though we need to show we can stand up for ourselves, they think we are weak. We aren't."

"I understand." You hummed and an awkward silence fell upon L'Manburg.

"Y/N, would you like to become a citizen of L'Manburg?" Wilbur asked formally.

This was a part of the test wasn't it? So many thoughts were going through your head at the moment. This had to be a part of the plan. The whole Declaration of War. You wouldn't get hurt right? And then L'Manburg, you had to accept because if not everything would go to waste. 

You smiled, "I would love to Wilbur."

Wilbur extended his hand out for you to shake and You grabbed it and shook hand firmly. It was official.

"Aye! Did I just see what I think I just saw?!" Tubbo and Fundy appeared out of nowhere.

"I saw a handshake~! Very professional." Fundy said, adding to what Tubbo said prior.

"Yes it did! I am a L'Manburgian now!" You cheered and so did Tubbo.

"The first woman in L'Manburg." Wilbur said.

"WHAT? The first woman in L'Manburg is American?!" Tommy angrily stomped out from around the van.

"You're a good addition I think." Wilbur smirked at Tommy, who was fuming.

"Hm, we'll see about that." Tommy narrowed his eyes at You, but you just smiled at the boy. Apparently that made him even more upset.

Tommy began to walk away before Wilbur began to speak again.

"Before you all leave, we need to have potions, more enchanted bows, arrows, and armor. That's all for now. I'll figure out the rest tomorrow." Wilbur finished and the others agreed.

"Goodbye everyone!" 

"See you all tomorrow!"

Fundy and Tubbo left the L'Manburg walls leaving Tommy, Eret, You and Wilbur still inside the walls.

"Y/N can I talk to you for a minute?" Eret pulled you to the side. Currently Tommy and Wilbur were talking inside the van and You was chilling outside.

Eret took you away from the van and to a semi secluded place.

"Are you comfortable with what's happening?" Eret carefully asked.

"I'm unsure what's going to happen. I hate that feeling. I'm just worried that something will go wrong. I don't wanna die!" You said that last part while laughing.

Eret laughed a little too trying to lighten up the mood.

"I am too. We have to live long enough to become king and queen." Eret smiled and so did You.

"I don't want to die. Yeah that's one problem, but the other one is that I don't know where I belong. It's hard, is this your home Eret?"

Eret sighed, "Ahh! That's the problem! I would consider this my home." 

Eret paused looking at Tommy and Wilbur talking by the HTO van. He took a second and looked You in the eyes again.

"I have the same feeling as you, but I feel like this can't be our purpose. This isn't meant to be, this home is temporary like a wilting home. We can always buy a new one after the old home withers away." Eret concluded. 

You and Eret turned their heads to the noise of Wilbur and Tommy playfully bickering, they seemed like brothers, it was cute. The citizens of L'Manburg seemed like a family. 

L'Manburg was a calm place. It was a calm house in a huge storm, but sometimes the house can get destroyed by the storm and it will be time to find a new house.

"We'll be okay. You're right by the way." You hummed looking up at Eret.

"I know." Eret smiled down at You.

"You know that we'll be okay? Or-"

Eret cut You off by pulling you into a comforting hug.

"We'll be okay, Dream would never hurt us. You know that. And I am always right." Eret laughed and You joined.

"Hey fuckers, I'm out!" Tommy yelled as he made his way towards the two in a hug.

They pulled away as Wilbur made his way over as well and spoke in a baby voice, "The baby needs someone to take him home~!" 

"NO I DON'T! I'M NOT A BABY! I just don't want to get mugged." Tommy complained.

"He is a baby." Wilbur bluntly said.

"I AM NOT-" 

"Hey! I can take you home!" You spoke over Tommy. 

"Thank God, okay bye you two!" Eret laughed.

"Shouldn't you be with your wife?" Wilbur questioned Eret.

Eret shrugged, "I'm 100% sure you can take care of yourself, she can fight. Also she's not alone." 

Wilbur slowly nodded and then began to walk away. The rest of them followed to the outskirts of L'Manburg. The group all ended outside of the walls and split apart. Wilbur goes with Eret and You with Tommy. 

The walk through the forest was rough because Tommy always took the most difficult way. He walked his way into skeletons to fight them, He sometimes stopped to check his menu, He also kept talking while not waiting for an answer. It was a lot to travel with him.

They eventually made it into the greater part of the kingdom and saw the familiar sights. As Tommy led the way, he began another conversation from the long journey.

"So, I can't believe I haven't asked you this before," Tommy laughed "Let me begin with this: I don't like you, but I will put up with you"

Tommy walked backwards through grass as he talked. 

"Wow what a great start." You sarcastically said, rolling your eyes.

"Don't test me. I just wanted to know why you married Eret in the first place." Tommy turned around and kept the pace You had while walking beside you.

Damn it. You were so close, of course Tommy would be suspicious of you. He basically said he hated you and now You think that he wants you out of L'Manburg. This might all go to shit if you can't get the right answer out of your mouth.

"I love him of course! Why wouldn't you want to marry someone you love?" What a lie.

You continued, "We were set up by a close friend, I am still getting to know him more and more each day, but isn't that with all relationships?"

"It seems so," Tommy spoke.

Tommy began stuttering over his words,

"Of course I know! I've been with women! Anyways, I didn't even know you were apart of the kingdom so-"

"So you wouldn't know how long me and Eret were together! So whatever you were gonna say would be invalid!" You shot back while pointing at him with a smirk.

Tommy hummed, "You're acting very territorial, very defensive." 

"Is it bad that I am trying to defend my relationship?" You asked.

"You were very sudden with it." Tommy huffed.

An awkward silence fell upon the two as they kept walking, You not knowing where their destination was. After a while of nothing Tommy started a conversation again. 

"I overheard Big E talking about fighting! Do you know how to fight?" Tommy asked enthusiastically.

"I like to think I do!" You said proudly.

You had learned everything you knew from your own self training and Dream of course. He always talked about how great a fighter you would be, so he took it into his hands to train You.

"Well, are you? I didn't see you fighting that many skeletons huh?!" 

"Because you kept "running into them" and fighting them yourself!" You yelled back and did air quotations around certain words.

"Cause I wanna get stronger! Buffer! The alpha male!" Tommy boasted.

"Well why put yourself into trouble in the first place?" You sighed.

"Cause it's fun!" Tommy's voice got significantly higher the more he complained.

"You don't think I can fight?" You laughed in disbelief.

"Yeah!" Tommy challenged.

"Then I challenge you to a duel!" You crossed your arms over your chest and tried to size Tommy up, even though you were shorter than him.

"Woah, woah what?!" 

You smirked, "You heard me Tommy! I want to fight you." 

Tommy began walking faster and You had to do the same. He kept shaking his head and muttering something. You finally caught up with him and overheard what he was muttering.

"What would Wilbur think of this?"

He muttered.

"He would be okay! Fight me! C'mon pussy!" 

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" 

You got him. You really wanted to fight this boy. You could prove yourself to him and even the rest of L'Manburg. You might've been contradicting yourself because of what you had said earlier.

"You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Dream if you want independence."

You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Tommy nor Wilbur to gain their trust. But at the same time you REALLY wanted to fight, have some drama. You're hard-headed just like Tommy, so either way they were going to fight.

"Fine! We will fight by the HTO van tomorrow!" Tommy said walking backwards heading off the path that they were going. 

"Deal?" You reached out to shake his hand. 

"Fucking deal!" Tommy exclaimed while shaking your hand.

Tommy walked in front of you and made his way to a house made of dirt. It was well made and, although it didn't look horrible, it was probably a secret base.

"This is my home! I'll see you tomorrow for our duel. Don't be late." Tommy said while entering his house and closing the door on You before you got the chance to speak.

This is going to be very interesting.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here!" A british voice appeared to the side of You. 

Approaching the Prime Path was of course George and Sapnap. They always appeared at the right time because You were getting nervous you wouldn't make it back to the castle.

"Guys!" You exclaimed.

"Hey! We wanted to talk to you before, but you were occupied with "L'Manburg"." Sapnap put air quotes around L'Manburg like it wasn't real.

"We also wanted to walk you back home. Eret’s not being a good husband huh?" George laughed.

You spoke,"I was fine! Almost blew my cover though." 

"WHAT?"

"HUH?"

"Yeah I was walking Tommy home and he asked me why I married Eret and I panicked, but saved it!" You hurriedly explained to the two men.

"Jesus you would have ruined everything." Sapnap rubbed his face while walking ahead of George and You.

"But she didn't! You almost did." George sighed.

"I thought I did well." You hummed.

"Also sorry for the scare earlier." Sapnap said while laughing a bit.

You sarcastically stated, "Yeah the whole "Declaration of War" didn't scare me at all." 

"Aw boo hoo!" Sapnap mocked.

George shook his head while trying to keep in a laugh beside You. They were almost to their destination because you saw the huge castle in your sights. Sapnap dragged his feet on the path tiredly while George still had a small pep in his step.

You finally spoke up again, "Who was that other guy with the three of you? I've never seen him before."

"OH you haven't met Punz! He's one of the best fighters in the kingdom." George explained.

"Dream wants him on his side, he's getting many more warriors, "warriors", to fight against your L'Manburg." George put air quotes around warriors as he continued to explain. 

"He won't hurt you. None of us will, if that's what you're wondering." Sapnap said bluntly.

"I mean that makes me more comfortable now I definitely know." You hummed and so did Sapnap in agreement.

You would love to say that Dream would never hurt you, but that would be a lie. You never knew Dream's intentions from the beginning, but he always says that it's for your own good and it would work out in the end. You trusts Sapnap and George's word, you trust them with your life. Literally.

The trio made it to the castle's entrance and they all stopped. Sapnap yawned and George rubbed You on the back in a reassuring manner.

"Man, I have a lot to do." You sighed as you looked at the huge arches of the castle.

"Well get some rest! Ease your mind." George said.

"Yeah what he said." Sapnap said while stretching.

You smiled at the two of them before beginning to walk up to the main doors. Sapnap reached out to your shoulder and twisted you around to give the two boys a final look for the night.

"Are you 100% sure you are okay with this plan?" Sapnap said sternly.

"Cause you know we have to report back to the big guy." George added.

You paused for a moment. You looked back on the moment when Wilbur and yourself were in the HTO van

"You haven't found your place, I assume. L'Manburg might be your home."

That whole place could be your home. Her calling, but then Sapnap and George in front of you. What about them?

"When have I ever steered you wrong?!"

Dreams' words circled in your head again for what it seemed like the 5th time today. It was tiring, but it was true. Even if you weren't okay with it you would get killed, so you want Eret and yourself to be safe. You didn't have enough connection with the L'Manburgians to keep them alive. This has to be you calling. Please let this be your calling.

"I am 100% sure. Let's do this."

[mochii0park]

metanoia; 01 | kth

Title: Metanoia

Pairing: Taehyung / Reader

Part of series: Waterlilies and Japanese Bridge

Genre: angst I collage!au

Pairing: student!reader x photographer!taeyhung

Word count: 4,7k

Summary: Vante, a household name among photographers became known for his minimalistic photography style that came along with his secret persona. Never showing his face on his own exhibitions fueled the public’s desire to learn more about him which skyrocketed his fame. While preparing for his next exhibition Vante went missing. Disappeared into thin air and even now a year later was never found.

Author’s note: I am very conscious of any grammar mistakes. Although I have read this chapter three times I am sure I’ve missed some so bare with me. 

On another note, I have switched the dates of the chapters for Saudade and Metanoia. Since this story got more attention compared to Sauade I’ve decided to write it before the date.

This is my first attempt at writing on this platform and I hope it will reach out to a wider range of readers and catch your interest. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @ggukkieland​ @honig-und-millch​ , @deliciousdetectivestranger ,

Masterlist

Metanoia masterlist

< intro | next chapter >

You sink into the overaged draggled yellow chair, catching second-hand embarrassment at the sight before you. The boy walked about, his thrusts were not enough to keep the neon hula hoop from falling. He attempts to fumble his way out of the mess, but it was too late. The left ankle twists itself and before you know it, he hits headfirst against the wooden flooring. The professors rush towards him, medics following behind. The boy tries to pull himself up but fails his body slumping against the stage. To your left Mingi snorts, stuffing his face with popcorn amused by the scene playing out.

“I don’t mean to sound rude or whatever, but people need to search up the meaning of talent before their eyes skip to the word show.” Minnie ruckles her nose, her mouth loop sided.

“I find this highly entertaining,” Mingi speaks up, mouth full of food. He takes a sip of the cold beverage rested in his lap and shakes the mixture before swallowing.

To his left Yeonjun shudders at him, “Talent or not I would rather replay that scene than watch Mingi be a slob. It makes me want to bleach my eyes out.”

Mingi rolls his eyes ignoring Yeonjun as he pops more popcorn, oblivious to his own weird antics. Although the four of you are friends for years, Mingi managed to take you all by surprise with his uncanny behaviour.

The second act starts and suddenly you contemplate your university choice. Reasonably the overbearing staff of your university wanted the timid first years to feel welcomed hence this so-called show. In hindsight, you think a friendly party would’ve been just as good.

Halfway through the act, you feel a light tap on your shoulders, professor Kim Namjoon stands there like a sore thumb in the mass of students’ bodies. With his hovering height, freshly dyed purple hair and the rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose he was sure to stand out. He shifts his footing from one to the other foot anxiously waiting for you to follow him, few students commenting on the disruptions that his appearance caused.

You observe him for a second, accompanying him out of the theatre into the cold November air. He fumbles through his leather briefcase before fishing out a small, crumpled flyer. Opening it he shoves it into your hands while tweaking his glasses.

“I have a favour to ask you Y/N. There will be a course taking place here and I would love for you to attend it with your peculiar friends.” He says emphasising the word peculiar.

You knew that Mingi gave Namjoon the creeps even though the latter denied it.

“No.”

You push back the flyer spinning on the balls of your feet ready to join your friends.

“Y/L-…”, Namjoon groans, “Do it for your brother-in-law.”

Widening your eyes, you look at him shaking your head.” This isn’t the time to use our family relations to bribe me into a stupid course.”

“Did you even read what’s it about?”, you take the flyer from his hands skimming through it.

Photography course

Length: 10th November till 10th June

Time: Friday, 6pm -8pm

Attendance: Third years and above

Equipment not needed for the course

Your eyes pause at the date, laughing releasing itself from your chest. Surely Namjoon was kidding when suggesting this. You were in your last year which meant you would soon be flooded with work for your final project. In conclusion, there was barely enough time for you set foot out of your studies let alone attend another one of the university’s poor attempts to make a course for students to bond over.

“You understand I’m in my last year. I don’t have time to go out and have fun with my friends. How in the world did you think I would fit a whole-ass course?”

Namjoon releases a breath running a hand through his thick hair, desperation evident on his face.” I am sorry to have to do this, but I am cashing in my favour.”

You become stiff mouth agape, incoherent vowels coming out of you. It takes you a few seconds to gather your thoughts, “you promised to not cash it in. You gave me your word.”

“And you gave me yours.” Namjoon retored sassily, finger pointing at you, “I won’t tell Sunmi if you promise to do me a favour when the time comes.”

Pushing your tongue against the palate, you try to control the boiling anger.

The incident happened four years ago, back when you were still figuring out your college life. Namjoon and you were acquaintances, sharing one elective course called German Literature. Needless to say, both of you suffered greatly.

By the end of the year, you noticed your sister piqued Namjoon’s interest. Grossed out by the idea of your older sister engaging in any kind of relationship/activity with a twenty-three-year-old, you kept your distance until the faithful day.

Choi San was the synonym for the devil himself. With his fiery red hair and dazzling cat-like eyes, he lured you into his messy life of illegal parties and binge drinking. You still find yourself cringing at his pathetic excuses of professing his undying love to you when it was all under false pretences. His eyes bearing into your naïve soul, pulling your heart out and wrenching it until your friends came to pick up the pieces.

Sitting in the police station you counted down minutes before your older sister would burst through the door and finally decide to disown you. With your head nested between your knees you suck in the tears threatening to spill, the euphoria from the alcohol long gone. You’ve dialled Mingi’s number first, the others were a no go when it came to answering their phones. He picked up in a matter of seconds. After explaining the situation, you figured he would bring his own parents to bail you out instead Namjoon comes first, after him a stressed Minnie trying to keep up the pace with him and a Yeonjun who’s pulling his masks further over his nose in a lame attempt to be unrecognizable. Mingi idly meanders behind them in his pyjamas with not one care in the world. Namjoon pulls a small amount of money handing the police officer and not long after you were free.

At that moment you’ve truly recognized your friends as the people you wanted to keep in your life forever. Namjoon jokingly said he would someday cash in his favour. Little did you know the joke would get over your head.

“You’ve waited for four years to cash it?”

He shrugs and nods lightly. Quickly he composes himself, washing his features of playfulness and switching them up with hopelessness. “It’s really important for me that you and your clique of friends attend this course. Professor Seojoon organized it-“

At the mention of your favourite professor, your eyes light up making Namjoon shudders. The little “crush” you harboured didn’t go unnoticed by him. Putting his hands on your shoulders he gains your attention again before continuing, “his brother is the one to hold the course so you must come. I will put in a good word for you all. Maybe he will go easy on you during quizzes.”

You roll your eyes knowing fully well that you didn’t need Namjoon’s intervention although it was greatly appreciated. Putting the flyer in your back pocket you throw a thumbs up to Namjoon, “Well Minnie and I don’t need any favouritism and I am almost certain you can’t do much for Yeonjun and Mingi seeing as they are in different departments.”

“Oh?” Namjoon’s brows shot up at the revelation, totally dismissing the idea that you know each other any differently than through the classes you attend, “I thought Yeonjun was in the literature department, as for Mingi it’s far-fetched but I didn’t want to sound rude.”

“Actually, Yeonjun is in the Vocal department while Mingi is in the Physics and Astronomy department. He’s also on top of his class, both are.”

Namjoon seems stunned at the information you threw at him, but he recovers swiftly, “Bunch of nerds.” He chuckles at his own jokes before both of you bid goodbyes. You slowly make your way to the cafeteria mind set on pursuing your friends to join you and Namjoon running to the staff meeting hoping to extinguish the chaos caused by the talent show.

Pushing past the mass of people on the campus your sneakers squeak against the pavement, the chatter between the students becoming louder as you push the cafeteria doors. Making your way towards the table in the further left corner you spot Yeonjun’s eye-catching hair. The pink shade fits well against his pale skin making him noticeable from afar. The boy throws a piece of chips at Mingi, the latter catching it mid-air.

The rustling of your chair brings them out of their bubble. Minnie plops her elbows on the table, hand supporting her cheek as she lays it there, eyes staring at you amusingly. Mingi continues to catch Yeonjun’s chips, his attention now slightly focused on you. “How was the talk with professor Namjoon.”

“I need a favour to ask you.”

“Last time you asked for a favour we had to bail you from jail,” Mingi adds face void of any emotion causing Yeonjun to almost choke on the piece of chicken from his plate. Minnie reaches for his head hitting him hard on the back.

“That was four years ago for God’s sake.” You yell, a few students turning bothered by your loud voice disrupting their meal.

Slumping further into the seat, cheeks reddened from the heat of the sudden attention you gained you say quietly, “there is a course taking place this year and I would love if you could attend it.”

Mingi was the first to read the flyer once you push it in the middle of the old table. He hums a couple of times and gives you a thumbs up, unlike Minnie who scoffs.

“A whole semester? Y/N you know this is impossible to juggle this with our final project. As much as I would love to participate you know what you’re asking for is too much.”

You bite your lower lip remembering Namjoon’s words. “I know but professor Seojoon is organizing it, and don’t you think having him on our good side would mean a lot?”

Minnie shrugs and pops the strawberry into her mouth. “I understand, but it’s on Fridays. The only time I can spare for parties and clubs, and you’re asking me to spend it studying something I am not even remotely interested in?”

You turn towards Yeonjun knowing if he agrees Minnie will crumble under the pressure of your group. He scans it quickly and shakes his lightly head from left to right before agreeing to accompany you making Minnie collapse her shoulders in defeat.

“Fine but if it takes too much of my time I am signing out.”

“I love you guys so much.”

“Cut it with the sappy shit, I have piano lessons.” Yeonjun gets up telling you goodbye before he disappears in the ocean of students his pink hair no longer visible. A distant scream could be heard a few seconds after, “I love you too.”

You smile feeling the love of your friends.

“We love you too.” Mingi gets up and places a carton of freshly squeezed apple juice in front of you sending off a small smile. Just like Yeonjun, he’s gone.

                        -

Nose buried deep into the book; Taehyung tried his best to mute out his brother’s lame attempts of starting a conversation he never intended to finish. Legs resting on the polished marble table he did his very best to further fuel Seojoon’s irritation. The older one pacing back and forwards provoking Taehyung’s headache.

“If you would just listen to me.”

Kim Taehyung detested surprise, especially those he didn’t catch on early. This one though topped the cake. “There is no need to listen.”

“Quit being stubborn.”

“Oh, the irony.” Taehyung looked up catching his brother’s burning gaze,” contrary to your beliefs, I must say you are the one who’s stubborn here. When a person asks for space and time you give them that instead of forcing them, wait sorry what was the word again? Yeah, lightly pushing them into holding a course. One which they never asked for or showed the desire to hold.”

“You needed a little push in the right direction.”

“Arranging a one-year course isn’t a push you idiot,” Taehyung shouted; the book was long forgotten and tossed aside on his couch. His yell echoed in the empty room causing Seojoon’s to scowl. He found comfort in a small armchair adjacent to the marble table. “You can’t bury yourself in books and spend your days in the atelier. It’s not healthy Taehyung.”

“I don’t remember asking for advice.”

Seojoon was on the verge of giving up, letting the course get cancelled before it even happened hadn’t it been for the twelve people that signed up and Namjoon’s effort to recruit them.

“Look-“he takes a deep breath calming himself, “You can think of it as a one year course, but in reality, it’s eight months. When you count Christmas, New Year, Easter you can cut one month coming to seven months in total. I’ve gone all out for this course, please don’t make me go and explain to my higher-ups why it’s cancelled before it even started.”

Taehyung shut his eyes trying not to feed the growing frustration inside him. Seojoon takes the time to look at his brother, the embodiment of pain. The eyes that used to shine brightly at the sight of new opportunities were now dull and empty, almost as if his soul left the body. It tore him apart to see Taehyung like that, powerless and what added more to his pain was the inability to help him.  

“It’s been a year since I’ve held a class.”

“I know you Taehyung. You are a man of many talents and there is nothing that can convince me otherwise. You need to move forward and face the fear you’ve been holding onto. It’s been a year. Nobody will judge you.” Seojoon’s eyes soften as he walks up to his brother ruffling his hair, hoping that his sincerity got through to him.

“I don’t know Joon.”

Before Seojoon could even start talking Taehyung shakes his head and moves hurriedly reaching for the knob. Seojoon takes a step towards Taehyung, but he doesn’t even give him a chance to speak as he runs right out of the door leaving him alone in the atelier.

The water drips from Taehyung’s wet hair down his face creating a false comfort, the sound of water coated a perfect cover to hide his emotional baggage. It became a habit of his to seek solace in the bathtub surrounded by lavender soaps that Yuna bought. A tradition carried on from their mother to them. The scent took Taehyung back into his childhood spent in his family home in Busan. Carefree of responsibilities and the heavy burden the world carried.

He recalls the delicate touch of his mother’s fingers untangling his locks while singing Elvis’s song can’t help falling in love. Her voice heartening Taehyung as he wept over a dispute he had with his second brother Hyungsik. The vivid memory of his mother placing a kiss on the crown of his head before wiping away the tears from his cheeks.

“Siblings are there to teach you about life,” she whispers softly, “They teach you what it means to be kind, to be fair and to know you will not always be right. They teach you about teamwork, conflict resolution and most importantly Tae they teach you what it is to love and to be loved.”

Opening the door of Seojoon’s study, Taehyung is greeted with a sight to behold. Leaning against the door frame he watches Yuna and Hyungsik dancing in the middle of the muddled room, furniture pushed aside to create more room. They attempted to follow Yuna’s new choreography, Seojoon’s seated in the leather armchair grading assignments although he would glance up occasionally laughing at the duo. More like laugh at Hyungsik’s failed attempts but he didn’t need to know that. Noticing Taehyung’s presence, Yuna runs over linking their arms and pulls him forward oblivious to the slight tension between him and Seojoon.

“Idol my ass, “she scoffs at a gasping Hyungsik, “Taehyungie I need a dance partner for my new choreography. Hyungsik can’t even learn the basics.”

“Not my fault the younger generation goes overboard with their dances and outfits and singing. In my time we relied on our charms, and not how you call it? Fairy ending? What is even that?”

“It’s when idols finish the song, and the camera pans on of them giving them some more love and screen time. Right?” Taehyung looks at Yuna for approval. She places Taehyung’s hand over her shoulder, linking her arms around his waist while he kisses her temple and puts his cheek on top of her head.

“Admit it you’ve gotten old Hyungsik.” Seojoon derides.

That was enough to motivate Hyungsik to crack his fingers and reach for the tablet, “Give me the goddamn tablet. I’ll show you who’s old.” burying his nose into the gadget, he replays the video repeatedly.

By the time he made it through the first segment of the dance, Taehyung was sure he could blindly replicate the choreography himself.

“Couldn’t you ask one of your professors or other idols in training to help you?” Taehyung asks as the two observe Hyungsik’s rusty moves.

“One friend is busy finishing school projects and Jungkook-a has too many events lined up to help. I haven’t seen him since last Friday and I don’t feel comfortable asking Jimin-ssi to practice with me.”

“Isn’t he your professor?”

“Yes and no. He helps the idols which have already debuted in our entertainment company, that’s Jungkook. Jimin-ssi does occasionally step in when other professors are prevented from teaching. But his job is being a full-time professor at the EQ Royal Dance Academy.”

Taehyung nods, the information flying over his head as Hyungsik messes up a move and topples to the floor. He erupts into fits of laugher for the first time in weeks and Seojoon is suddenly reminded what’s it like to be happy. He knew bringing Yuna home for the weekend would do Taehyung some good. The sight warms his heart, his siblings bickering loudly, breathing some life into the old room. Resting the assignments on the nearby table, he sits up to join them. Catching Taehyung’s gaze he looks towards the boy, brows raised.

“I’ve thought about it and-” Taehyung stops for a second, but Seojoon’s soft gaze prompts him to continue. “I’ll take the job.”

“Well, you better get ready because it starts in two hours.”

“What?!”

                       -

There were many ways you could spend your Friday night, like partying for instance yet here you are sitting in your car listening to Minnie whining. Mingi’s soul stuck somewhere on his iPod the second he set foot in the car, his head bobbing to the music blasting from his AirPods. Yeonjon was the only one not present. Due to his idol actives, he was held back by his vocal coach, but he promised to be there for the second lecture.

Placing your analogue camera on the desk, you tug your hair into a ponytail mentally preparing yourself for two hours of dullness. Minnie sits to your right while Mingi takes the chair to your left. The three of you seating yourselves in the front of the classroom, Namjoon’s words bunch of nerds playing in your head.

Shaking the thought away you see the watch tick eight pm as the door swings open.

When Namjoon told you professor Seojoon’s brother would hold the course you had expected a man either older than him or somewhere around his age, not a handsome make you take a double look type of a man; two or three years older than you.

His features were nothing short of a Greek god. He stood head and shoulders over you even when you were seated, confidence radiating from every fibre of his being as adjusts his bag over his shoulder. Pushing his brown curls away from his face he allows you to look at it. Perhaps you were exaggerating but you never saw such a gorgeous man. Straightening himself up you take notice of his attire for tonight’s lecture. An orange blazer draped over a white shirt brought out his sun-kissed complexion paired with the same-coloured trousers. A type of anonymity laced itself with every step he took in your direction, his stare a mixture of coldness and determination.

He comes forward, eyes scanning each one of you before he sets his gaze on you. It lingers there for a second, his expression unreadable before he breaks it.

“Hello, my name is Kim Taehyung and I’ll be your lecturer for this course.”

For the first time, you see Mingi’s focus entirely on Taehyung. His presence demanded to be felt and a part of you was sure he knew it. Taking the camera in his hand he turns towards you.

“I assume you have at least once taken a photo, whether with your phones or camera. Moreover, I am positive you have attempted to make an aesthetic photo for your Instagram feed. How many of you were successful?” laughter filled the lecture hall,” The goal of this lecture isn’t to make a photographer out of you nor to help you improve your skills. The point is to make you fall in love with photography. The rest will come easy.”

He walks around the desk and opens an old leather binder. Walking towards your table he places it in front of Mingi allowing the three of you to peek at the content of it. There neatly stored in a plastic sheet were his photos. Mingi pushes the portfolio in front of you, allowing easier access to both Minnie and you. Slowly leafing through the pictures, you stop in total awe. Eyes trailing over a simple photo of a ray field, caught somewhere in later November or early December judging by the snow. The contrast was striking, the clash of the colours and the depth of field creating an imaginary line between the ray and the sky.

Taehyung observes your dumbfounded expression, intrigued by your sudden amazement he ambles to your side. He rakes over the photo, which was a thereby sheer mistake, panic rushing through him. In a reckless attempt to stop you from further prying into the photos he grasps the portfolio out of your hold knocking over your camera in the process. It hits the floor shattering the lens into pieces, the film rolling down until it stops near his feet. Cursing himself for his abrupt action, he looks at you. Your eyes drift from the broken camera to Taehyung’s face.

He hurriedly squats picking the pieces, analysing the damage. Beyond repair.

“I am so sorry. I-” he says placing the parts on your table trying to come up with more words of apology.

“It’s alright.” You shuffle awkwardly in your seat not liking the spotlight put on you.

“I’ll be sure to repay you the coasts of a new camera.”

You shake your head; the camera was already outdated, and you were sure Sunmi would let you borrow her digital one from the gallery. “It’s fine.”

Taehyung puts his lips into a thin line, the confidence he marched beginning to leave his body. Although you showed no anger or resentment towards him, he still felt the need to apologize. Swallowing the awkward moment, he paces towards the centre.

“Today we will start with simple terms such as ISO, Aperture and Shutter speed. Three things you should get familiar with.”

Fetching his Nikon camera from the case he turns it around. Swirling the button on the upper part of the camera he adjusts the mode to manual. Pushing another button towards himself the camera shows three circles in the middle of the screen.

“The first circle is shutter speed. That’s the speed at which the light of a camera sensor is exposed to light when taking a photo. Slow shutter speed captures the blur of subjects in motion. It’s valuable for night and landscape photography. On the other hand, high speed allows you to freeze a single millisecond in time.”

Pointing to the middle circle he continues. “This is an aperture, the opening through which light passes through the lens to enter the camera. Its size can be modified to control how much light reaches the sensor.”

Lastly, he shows you the third button. “ISO represents the sensor’s sensitivity to the light. The higher the number, the more information will be captured in other words the picture will be brighter.”

Taehyung fumbles with the camera for a few seconds before he focuses it on you and with a click and shutter of light, he takes your photo. With no time to recover you feel a blush creep at the thought of how the picture turned out. “As you can see this is the perfect setting for the indoor portrait. Now if we put the shutter speed high and the ISO low-“

He again takes a picture of you turning the camera screen to the students. The photo was dark, your features barely visible but still your figure could be distinguished. “This is an underexposed photo. Now if we set the shutter speed to let’s say 1/40 and places the ISO high-“

Expecting his move this time, you look up at the camera. Taehyung halts his action for a slight second before he presses the button. Looking at the photo, the brightness is overbearing. “This is an overexposed photo.”

He places the camera in front of Mingi, Minnie and you allowing you to take your time and compare the three photos he took. “Why am I showing you this? Because for your next assignment that’s what you will do. You will take three photos of the same object. The object you choose should be something that left a great impact on you. That can be your family, your friends or an inanimate object such as phones, books etc. The choice is yours.”

Pulling out stacks of paper he leaves them on the corner of his desk.” These here are today’s study notes. I don’t expect you to write down notes while in the class, but I do expect you to finish your assignments. That will be all for today.”

The students began leaving the room each taking one paper, Taehyung stood there, hands in his pocket looking through every pupil that passed by. Minnie was first in line, her flirt mode on. You see them exchange a few words, Minnie’s behaviour suddenly going from sweet to sour in seconds. You dally your way to the desk aware of his gaze burning holes in the side of your head.

“Sorry, Y/N was it?” You peek up not expecting him to spare you a second let alone address you.

“Yeah?”

Taehyung scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.” I am sorry for what happened to your camera. I know you said it’s fine, but I feel responsible for it. I would feel better if you let me repay you by buying a new camera or at least participating in the coasts.”

“No, really it’s fine.” You laugh as you say it for the fourth time today.” I will borrow my sister’s camera for the course. If I do find myself in a need to buy a new camera, I will let you know.”

Before Taeyhung could protest you nod politely and leave the room. Biting his lip, he couldn’t help to feel bad about the wreck he made knowing full well how much an analogue camera costs nowadays. Taking the Nikon one from your table he swipes through the photos deleting each one before he pauses on the last one. It was the first black and white photo he took of you.

Your eyes were focused on Taehyung, although taken aback by the light they held their composure your mouth pulled into an affiliative smile. The white light made your baby hair stand out in the black background. For an unexplained reason, Taehyung felt a small tug, one he couldn’t pinpoint the meaning of. Shutting off his camera, he exhales through his nose and throws the bag over his shoulder.

The first lecture was done, thirty-three to go.

all rights reserved @moochi0park

[asterroidd]

cotton sweatshirt

↬  College AU

↬  Pairing: Levi Ackerman/Reader

↬  Word count: 2.6k

↬  Synopsis:  Fatigue was slowly consuming you, luckily your roommate is there to save the day

↬  Notes: Thank you so much for the request anon! I apologize it took so long before I wrote it. Anw, I hope you enjoy it!

↬  no proofread whatsoever, capn’

5th and 12th prompts: “Give me back my keys! I’m fine!” and “Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”

    It was too much. All too much; the endless tasks, the studying, and numerous all-nighters that you had pulled by now.

    It was so taxing that your body couldn't keep up; eyes blood shot red from restless staring at the laptop screen, sunken cheeks due to the insufficient meal you are getting, and dark bags under your eyes that are evidently visible even from afar. If one would see you in such a state, one would assume you are a zombie or the living dead.

    Chewing your bottom lip, fingers anxiously taped against the wooden desk. Drained yes boring into the laptop screen as you tried your best to understand the text displayed in it. Your professor just had to be missing in action that week due to health reasons and as such couldn't attend most of the classroom session to teach. The replacement is just as worse—having no mastery over the lesson at hand that it only made it more confusing than before. So, you had to self-study for the sole sake of having a passing grade this semester. Finals weeks is looming around the corner and it's best that you understands the lessons beforehand so that you wouldn't have difficulty in studying once again later on.

    Your study session was supposed to be done before noon, yet here you are still hunched over the desk. A pencil at hand in attempt to take notes in the filler notebook. Your other hand curled up a fist full of hair, then ever so often tugging it in frustration. True, you did try to search online for other readings and videos that could potentially help you in your dilemma. Alas, you find yourself scratching your scalp and pulling your hair in frustration as you failed, yet again, to grasp the concept of the topic.

    Perhaps a book, you thought to yourself. There is a local library nearby—suppose a ten minute walk, could be even seven if you walked fast enough. For sure there are a handful of books there that could finally help you in understanding the lesson. And so with a drained sigh, you closed the lid of the laptop and stood up.

    You took in your surroundings; which was an utter mess. Eraser shards littered on top of your desk that some even fell to the floor due to you hastily sweeping them off. Mountains of books scattered around—some opened with a random item on top to act as a makeshift paper weight. Sticky notes plastered all over the walls and stacks upon stacks of paper everywhere. In short, your room looks like a battleground.

     Which it is; an academic battleground, that is.

    That said, you swiftly stuffed a handful of notebooks and pens into a small backpack so you could continue the study session at the library. Perhaps a change in environment would ease you off and clear your mind. When you exited from your room, you were surprised to see Levi lounging off the living room. A bowl of popcorn on his lap whilst lazily popping one in his mouth every so often. His eyes glued to the TV screen as it played a series, The Confession Tapes you presumed. Ever since you showed him the first episode a few days ago, he was so intrigued and thus became so hook with the story line.

    Oh, to have freedom and time for leisure activities like Levi. You would willingly kill just to have that.

    "I'll be heading off to the library for a while," you uttered under your breath. Levi turned his head towards your direction, slowly munching on the popcorn. "I might come home late so I'll bring the keys with me."

    He paused the movie momentarily to narrow his eyes at you. Levi looked at you from top to bottom, assessing and processing the current state you are in. Which was hell. You looked like a vampire that crawled out of your coffin after decades of isolation. Of all the years he and you had been roommate, Levi had practically memorised most of your mannerism and behaviour so much. And at the moment, he knew all to well that you would be, yet again, working yourself to the grave.

    With a sigh, Levi placed the bowl of popcorn on top of the coffee table before approaching you. "Can't you see yourself, idiot?"

    You scrunched up your nose in confusion. What does he mean by that?

    "When was the last time you ate?"

    You racked your brain for answers. When was it truly that last time you had a proper meal besides energy bars that you bought from the convenience store. You went silent for a moment, eyes cascading down.

    "I had instant noodles I think? Last night," you answered after a pregnant pause.

    "Then that means you have not eaten anything since this morning?"

    You only nodded in response, all too tired to argue back with him. All you wanted to do was to finally leave the apartment and resume your study session in the library. Where, in hopes, you could finally progress in.

    Levi clicked his tongue. No wonder you look like a living dead. You are barely getting any nutrition in your body at all! Being studious is a great thing—but being all too unforgiving and torturing one's body too much is an unacceptable habit.

    As swift as a fox, he snagged the keys from your hands. You, in your drained state, reacted poorly and sluggishly. Though, you gave him one ferocious glare.

    "Give it back, Levi." You held out your hand.

    "No. You should rest. You look like shit."

    "Give me back my keys. I'm fine!"

    Levi, much to your surprise, had a hint of worry in his eyes. Silence fell between you and him, eyes focused on each other. You thought of kicking him on the shin, then took the chance to grab the keys. But you find yourself unable to as your body slowly slumped over.

    You let out one tired sigh, eyes closing every now and then in drowsiness, but you can't give in. Not now. Not at least you'd finally understand and finish writing your notes. Still, exams is a couple of weeks away. Surely a brief break wouldn't hurt?

   You groaned, the floor beneath your feet swaying as you struggled to keep yourself upright. It was only then did you notice the ever growing itch in your throat which signifies tonsillitis, mucus flooding your nasal passages, and increased body temperature.

     "I'm fine. . ." you inhaled sharply. "Just—" you continued but was caught short when your knees buckled under your weight, causing you to lean forward. Luckily enough, Levi caught you just in the nick of time before you fell face first into the wooden floor.

     "Tch. Look at what you got yourself into," he huffed, palm pressing against your forehead. "You also have a fever, dumbass."

    Did you now? You let your head rest into his touch, relishing his cool touch against your flushed ones. Maybe you really need a rest.

   "How about you take a seat on the couch while I brew you a cup of tea?"

    "Sounds good. . ." you uttered under your breath.

    That said, Levi practically dragged your body towards the couch and helped you settle on it. Making sure that you are comfortable enough by placing pillows behind your head. The male crouched down to your level, bringing a hand up once again to your forehead to properly estimate your temperature this time.

    "Looks like a bad one. . ." he muttered.

    "You tell me. I feel like shit," you've managed to crack a joke despite your conditions. Levi rose his brow at you, shaking his head at your idiocy. Then you watched him as he removed his cotton sweatshirt that hung loosely on his figure. Suffice to say, you were beyond perplexed when Levi placed the article of clothing on top of your lap.

    "You're cold aren't you?" he shrugged his shoulders. "Wear that for the time being to keep you warm."

    That said, he soon disappeared inside the kitchen to perhaps brew you a cup of tea much to your delight. It is practically known that the male had an immense skill in brewing and perfecting the art of tea. And as his roommate, Levi practically forced you to learn how to brew yourself; mainly because he doesn't want you wasting precious tea leaves that are far too expensive to be wasted. You recalled the time spent with him, hours upon hours inside the kitchen while trying your best to not burn your hands as you, yet again, try to perfect boiling tea. Levi stood beside you, a scowl present on his face as he frowned at your blend.

    Do it again, he snarled. The temperature is not right.

    It was little moments such as those reminds you of how much of a stuck up bitch Levi is. Nonetheless, the male still have a special place in your heart as your roommate and perhaps crush.

    Gingerly holding his sweater in your hands, you took one deep whiff of his scent—despite mucus flooding your nose—relishing the soft floral scent of the detergent that he bought about a week ago. Yet, Levi's natural aroma gradually overflows your nasal cavity; refreshing and clean with a hint of musky scent. It was pure heaven.

    Blood rushed to your cheeks as you let his sweatshirt hug your body, encompassing you more with his scent. Truth to be told, it was your long time dream to wear one of Levi's clothing. Suppose it was the thought of you in his clothes that brings butterflies to your stomachs, or the pure concept of his smell flooding your senses. Either way, you liked it.

    "Hey. . ." Levi's voice boomed which slightly startled you. The male placed a mug full of tea on the coffee table before kneeling down and opening a pack of fever patch.

    "What flavor did you brew?" you mumbled.

    "Chamomile," Levi replied, brushing your hair away from your forehead. For a brief moment, he stopped to stare at your glossy eyes due to the fever. Small patches of sweat that peppered your skin that glistened slightly under the light. Not to mention your lips that he oh so long to get a taste of for months—but he wouldn't tell you that out loud. Red dusted his cheeks ever so lightly that you would've missed if it weren't for your keen attention to detail.

    Levi bit the insides of his cheeks, slapping himself internally to focus at the task at hand which it to place a fever patch on your forehead. That said, he carefully set it against your temples. Making sure that it is adhered on firmly as to not fall in case you tossed and turn in your sleep. A smile adorned your features as soon as the cool hydrogel rested against your skin. You mumbled a quick gratitude towards the male before snuggling deep into his sweatshirt.

    "Levi. . ." you started to which he hummed in response, helping you sit up. Then, the male gave you the mug with hot tea. Its heavenly aroma making you sigh in relax. "Come sit with me?" you asked, patting the space next to you.

    The male opened his mouth to argue; to refuse your request because he doesn't want to catch your germs and be sick himself. Though, with one look at your puppy-dog eyes and pouting lips, Levi knew that he wouldn't be able to resist you. "Fine. . ." he begrudgingly replied.

    You let out a small cheer of victory. Placing your head on top of his shoulder the minute he sat beside you. Even for just a moment—just for this day—you want to delve into your fantasies and revel in the company of the male. Levi looked at you from the corner of his eye, admiring how his sweatshirt that embraces your form. Due to him being quite short in stature, his clothes were not too big. So, naturally, most of his wardrobe would probably fit you. Which he has no complaints about.

    "Can we watch Kitchen nightmares?" you asked, taking one small sip of tea as to not burn your tongue.

    Levi shrugged, "Why not?" That said, he adhered to your request. Playing that one episode in the series that he knew you enjoyed watching despite the countless times you've already seen it.

    You relaxed back into the couch, letting more of your weight press against Levi as your hands cupped the warm mug in between. The brutal and fierce howls of criticism of Gordon Ramsey brings a small smile to your lips, and oddly enough, as well as Levi's. Watching Kitchen's Nightmares (as well as other shows that the iconic chef starred in) was a guilty pleasure, so to say, of both yours and the male's. There is just something so satisfying how the chef makes people humble down and admit their mistakes.

    One great thing that comes from watching his series was that Levi could learn a thing or two in cooking. Even though he was already great from the start. The male picks up a recipe or two just by watching the series, much to your satisfaction. Between you and Levi, he is the mother of the household, if you will. While you're just one lazy couch potato who would receive an ear full of scolding every now and then.

    Soon enough, you felt your eyelids closing involuntarily, yet you fought to keep them open. It was getting into the good part—the climax—of the episode and you didn't want to sleep through it. Though, you find yourself giving in and finally letting your eyes rest for once. You exhaled, rubbing your cheeks against Levi's shoulder blades in attempts to get more comfortable. The male shifted on the couch, allowing you to be cozy and warm with him beside you.

    In your dazed state, you swore that Levi slowly rest his head on top of yours. Nevertheless, you couldn't conclude if it was true since the sweet embrace of sleep consumed you. For the first time in that week, you finally had a good night's rest.

    Levi relaxed under your touch, finally relieved that you gave in and let your body get the rest it deserves after days upon days of continuous work. He contemplated whether to turn off the television so that the noise wouldn't bother you in your sleep, or keep it open since a part of him wants to finish the episode. Though, his thoughts were caught short when you murmured.

    "Levi. . ." you mumbled in your sleep, hands gripping his sweatshirt.

    "What?" he humored, despite knowing that you are in deep slumber and is probably sleep-talking.

    Then to his surprise, you whispered a phrase that he never anticipated would slip past your lips.

    "I love you. . ."

    He was taken a back, eyes wide while his mouth slightly hung open. Levi blinked once, then twice, trying to process if what he heard was real or was his imagination deceiving him.

    "Did you know you talk in your sleep?" Levi said, testing to see if you were truly asleep or was just toying with him. When he concluded that you were—in fact—knocked out and catching some Z's, he breathed lowly the three words he oh so wanted to tell you for months.

    "I love you, too. Brat." He snaked his hand around yours, intertwining his fingers around your hand.

    Little did Levi know, you were half-awake during his confession.

[imagineslashers]

wowowowow hi, your writing is so good!! ;A; can I please request a femme!blissfield butcher x reader? maybe a shy reader who previously had a crush on Millie and does even more now, but doesn’t know the truth? thank you thank you so much if u can!! or just anything as long as it’s the femme version fkfkdk

thank you so much! here you go! this gets a little saucy but nothing ott! hope you like it!

also, this is kinda tricky to write with pronouns, but because the reader assumes it’s really Millie, i use she/her and the name Millie until the reader realises they’re not really her, if that makes sense!

The anticipation is killing you.

The sound of your heart thudding is only drowned out by the rhythmic thumping of your fingers on the steering wheel as you pull into the seedy bar you’ve been invited to.

It was just on the edge of town, nothing special, the local watering hole filled with exhausted workers and eager players. Not the kind of place you would normally agree to meet someone. As you park up and step out of the car, the wind steals your breath, whipping your hair before retreating with playful whispers.

One text brought you here, and you can’t stop thinking about it.

Wanna play?

Harding’s Bar, 8 PM

- M

You tug anxiously at the bottom of your jacket and pull it tighter around yourself, stepping towards the bar, painfully aware of how loud your shoes are in the quiet evening. The only other sounds are muffled laughter and music pouring out from the slits of the doorway up ahead.

A warm hand grabs at your wrist from behind and you shriek, whirling around to find the calm face of the girl you’ve had a crush on for the longest time. Millie. 

She’s stunning, her red leather jacket reflecting the dim lighting and complimented by her slightly smudged red lipstick. The curls in her ponytail bounce as she tilts her head to survey you, inspecting your outfit, eyes roaming hungrily over your body with an intensity that makes you blush.

Finally, after a few painfully long seconds of her gripping your wrist and staring, she cracks a grin. “Don’t you look just darling.” She coos, releasing your arm which drops limply back at your side as you fumble for something to say.

“Hi Millie.” You manage to push out breathlessly, instantly cringing at how timid you sound. If she notices, she doesn’t show it, instead glancing at the bar behind you. 

“Wanna go for a walk, cutie?” Millie gestures with a jerk of her head towards the dark, empty park across the road. Confusion settles in your mind, wondering why she asked you to a bar if she’s not going to go in. Millie senses this before you can ask the question and she laughs, the sound echoing eerily back to you. “Come on, I don’t want any of those gross men in there seeing you looking like this.” Millie gestures to you, biting her lip for emphasis. “No, you’re all mine tonight. Let’s go somewhere more private.”

Numb and red in the face, you can only nod as Millie grins, easily gripping your hand with more strength than you had expected. She leads you across the empty road and you’re soon both swallowed by the darkness of the park.

You’ve been attracted to Millie for quiet a while, but were always just too shy to ask her out, or find out if she feels the same way. Instead, you’ve been admiring her from afar, pining over her like a puppy. However, you were not always that subtle with your feelings, and the Butcher caught onto those emotions very early, sparking a curiosity that meant he just had to find out more.

When Millie changed to this new bad-girl act, you weren’t exactly put off. It was hot, very hot, but a little concerning that Millie changed so quickly. You still can’t say what it is about her, but she’s different in ways that pull you in even more than before.

She brings you out of your thoughts with a sudden gasp that makes you falter, looking around for the source of her surprise. The playground glints in the moonlight and she pulls you harder, making you stumble as you try to keep up with her relentless pace. Only once she has reached the slide does she stop, turning and pushing you onto the bottom of it. You sit down at once to stop yourself from falling, looking up at her.

“Why did you want to come out with me?” You barely speak above a murmur, and she crouches in front of you at eye level, pursing her lips for a second.

“Hm.” She reaches out with one hand and brushes her fingertips along your jaw. “You’re so cute and innocent, I don’t know why she- I mean, why I never saw that before.” Her voice drops down to match your tone, a sultry murmur, as her fingers venture down your throat. She bats her eyelashes, smiling in a predatory way you’ve never seen her do before. “And you like me too, don’t you, Y/N?” Her hand rests over your throat, fingers curling around the back of your neck, her voice becoming colder and hungry.

You know you’re in danger, this isn’t the Millie you first had a crush on, but you can’t help the way your pulse thrums to life under her fingertips. Instead of backing out, of moving away from her lightly squeezing hand, you can’t help it.

“Y-yes.”

That’s all she needs before she pushes forward, shoving you further up the slide so she can trap you under her body. Her thighs straddle on the outside of yours to keep you in place, one hand on the edge of the slide, the other still lightly squeezing and releasing your throat rhythmically.

You release an involuntary moan and she doesn’t miss it, grinning against your mouth, kissing you like you’re her oxygen and she’s been drowning. Nothing matters, not how weird she’s behaving, not how public this is, not how badly you need to take a breath.

Millie pulls away from you, her hand around your throat now venturing below your shirt as you gasp for air. “You want me, don’t you Y/N? Want me to make you feel good? Want me to make you all mine?” The words becoming more and more threatening, shifting from a purr to a growl as she rakes her fingers across the soft skin of your stomach. 

You’re helpless beneath her and can only whisper your agreement, your fingers bunching in her blonde locks.

“Y/N!” The shout pierces the silence and fills you with alarm. “Y/N! That’s not Millie!” The flustered face of Nyla appears with Josh in tow, and a dark male silhouette following behind them. You’re confused, glancing between the three of them and then to Millie’s exhilarated expression inches from your face.

Time seems to slow as “Millie” begins to smile, swiping her tongue across her lower lip. “Aw, what a shame they’re spoiling our fun!” In a split second, you can see instantly that they’re not lying, no matter how bizarre it may seem; by the glint of mischief and cruelty in “her” eyes, you understand that this is not Millie - but then why are you still attracted to this dangerous stranger?

The Butcher rocks their hips and bites at the skin beneath your jaw while you contemplate how utterly screwed you are in this situation. Before Millie’s friends can reach the two of you, the Butcher grabs you by the hand and yanks you to your feet, taking off back towards the car park of the bar. In their hand, the keys to your car which you hadn’t even noticed them take from your pocket.

“Get in, baby, this isn’t over!” The mix of hysteria and desire in those bright blue eyes makes you compliant as you throw yourself into the passenger seat and strap yourself in tightly.

“Oh shit, what am I doing?!” You can barely say the words as the car is thrown out onto the road, screeching as it tries to grip the road before jumping off down the avenue towards town.

The Butcher laughs in response to your exclamation and pushes hard on the gas, leaving behind Millie’s friends and your sense of self preservation.

[sunny-sings-sooth]

Daphne

Words: 4.5k

TW: Sexual assault, abuse

Here's my retelling of the myth of Apollo and Daphne! Highly experimental, as I usually write in first person and not so poetically. Hope you enjoy, and if anything doesn't make sense lemme know and I will add some context here. (Also FYI some of the dialogues are pulled directly from Homer's narration)

_____________________________________________________________

Phoebus Apollonas had been alive too long.

He was young by god standards, barely over a millenia old, and still one of the youngest Olympians. And yet he had grown exhausted. He’d been suffering the curse of life long enough to see the boy he used to be -- Phoebus -- die. The demise of the boy began when, in attempt to protect his sister Artemis, he had committed his first murder and thereby lost her forever. The boy decayed further when he’d held the corpses of his sons in his arms. And he’d finally killed the boy with his own hands when he turned his grief-fueled wrath on mortals. Phoebus, the bright, the innocent, the golden prince of Olympus, was dead. All that remained was Apollonas, the destroyer, the terror, the monstrous god of plague.

Except he no longer wished to be Apollonas. Apollonas was addicted to alcohol, drowning himself in it so that he wouldn’t have to face the memories that had murdered Phoebus. Apollonas had struck his younger brother Hermes, the only friend he had left, in drunken rage. Apollonas was despicable and deserved death. He could never be Phoebus again; that he knew and had accepted. But perhaps he could rid himself of Apollonas and become just Apollo. That did not mean erasing Apollonas; he had too many crimes to pay for, and running away would be a dishonor to all those who had suffered at his hands. He would repent for everything he had done as Apollonas, and thereby recreate himself as Apollo.

The first thing he needed to do was to break alcohol’s hold on him, which meant distancing himself from Dionysus. He didn’t want to abandon his youngest brother, but the temptation to drink was too strong in his presence. He hoped Dionysus would understand, and that he would one day be strong enough to bridge the gap of his creation.

He had been clean for three whole days. It didn’t seem like much -- blink of an eye in the lengthy lives of gods -- but that alone had taken him all his willpower. In the absence of the gallons of drink he had been consuming daily, not only was he plagued by memories and sheer self-hatred, he suddenly became highly attuned to the gossip that trailed him. Every moment on Olympus, hundreds of eyes were trained on him, and the whispers never escaped his sharp ears. It wasn’t that he was not used to being the center of attention, but rather the harsh truth of their statements. Phoebus Apollonas is a murderer. He flayed Marsyas alive for daring to challenge him. He curses anyone who questions his authority. He has killed thousands with his plague arrows. He is a monster. He knew these were all true and that he deserved to be pierced by such words, but the anxiousness caused by his withdrawal made them unbearable, and he had to escape to the woods. Here he found solace. Here he could work to slowly put himself together again until he was strong enough to face those who he wronged.

If he hadn’t been so lost in thought, then perhaps he would’ve heard the flap of wings before Eros was standing before him. He nearly dropped the silver bow that he’d been restringing and looked up to meet the other god’s gaze. Eros was the only man Apollonas considered a possible competitor in terms of beauty; his fair skin was smooth as a pearl, his wings the color of one, his features the aspiration of every artist’s portrait. And yet there was something unnerving about the other god. Perhaps it was his hair that, while comparable to a young maiden’s blush, was also the same shade as blood. Perhaps it was the deep red hue of his eyes, made of crushed hearts and rubies. And perhaps it wasn’t his appearance at all, but the mystique that surrounded him; he was the fourth being to come into existence and was old as time itself, and that was one of the only two things Apollonas knew about him.

“Phoebus Apollona,” Eros stated in greeting, and Apollonas hated how wrong it sounded, though he couldn’t tell if it was the names themselves or simply the one who spoke them.

“What do you want?” He couldn’t hide his irritation. The other thing he knew about Eros was that he was the god of love, and love had only ever caused Apollonas pain. He had no reason to like the god nor felt the need to veil his displeasure. All he wanted was the solitude necessary to rework himself.

“I was simply admiring your bow, oh He Who Shoots From Afar.” There was no missing the mockery in Eros’s voice, and his eyes gleamed as he gazed at the weapon. “Why, your skill is almost comparable to my own! Perhaps with some effort, you can become the greatest archer in the land.”

“Are you implying that you are the greatest archer?” Eros nodded, and one glance at the winged god’s slim arms and the modest bow slung across his back sent Apollonas into a fit of laughter. It was many moments before he could calm himself enough to speak. “What have you to do with the arms of men, you feeble thing?”

“I am merely suggesting I may be god of archery as you are god of plague.” Apollonas’s head snapped up at the idea, and his hands curled into fists as he stood, towering over the shorter god. If Eros was a painter’s fantasy, then Apollonas was a sculptor’s. His toned body was the epitome of perfection, the ideal balance between strength and beauty. He was well aware of this fact, and though he rarely preferred to use his appearance for intimidation purposes, Eros’s insult necessitated such action.

“Do not lay claim to my honors,” he hissed, his sky blue eyes glinting with divine power. Archery was the one constant he could always rely on. With his bow and arrows, he could protect and punish, wound and save. It was the one part of him that stayed no matter if he was Phoebus or Apollonas or whoever, and he’d be damned if he allowed this worthless winged wretch to even suggest taking that from him.

“Let us put it to test, then,” Eros declared, unfazed by the archer’s anger. What would the ancient deity have to fear from the youth? He was well aware of his capability, and little did Apollonas know he was falling into another trap, his emotions and naivety deceiving him once more. He was but a pawn in Eros’s game. “What say you to a battle of skill?”

Apollonas did not grace the other with an answer, lifting his weapon and drawing an arrow from his golden quiver in response. The toned muscles of his back flexed as he pulled back the string and released, and the arrow had barely gone forth an inch before he sent forward another, and then yet another. His arms were but a blur as arrow after arrow went flying, striking the most minuscule of targets: the pupil of a fly’s eye, the thread of a spider’s web, the stem of a single olive. Apollonas did not stop until his quiver lay empty, and he took in the perfect shots before him that seemed almost artistic by his hand. No matter how low he may have descended in these past years, there was no denying the masterpiece he created from the most basic of weapons. This was his domain. He couldn’t keep his lips from curling in conceit as he turned to Eros.

“That gear becomes my shoulders best,” he declared, setting his bow back beside his quiver to draw emphasis to the weapons that had adorned him for centuries. “I wound my enemies; I wound wild beasts. My countless arrows slew the bloated Python, whose vast coils across so many acres spread their blight. You and your loves!” Apollonas couldn’t hold back his scoff at the mention of Eros’s inferior work. “You have your torch to light them. Let that content you. Never claim my fame!”

“Your bow, Phoebus Apollona, may vanquish all, but mine shall vanquish you. As every creature yields to power divine, shall your glory yield to mine.” At Eros’s threat, an enraged response was making its way up Apollonas’s throat, but before it could spill off his tongue, the love god drew his own golden-tipped arrow. In the blink of an eye, he shot it forth right into the other god’s heart before taking flight.

Apollonas stumbled back, a gasp more of shock than pain escaping him as he clasped his hands over his chest, fingers fumbling for the arrow. However, it had already dissolved into him, its magic making its home in his body. He felt something ooze into his heart and bloodstream, shoot up his spine, ensnare his mind. He turned his attention inward, trying to identify the invader, but he could not locate it, nor could he compare it to anything he had ever felt before. What had Eros done? He lifted his head, searching for the god, but instead his gaze fell upon another figure altogether.

There, a few feet away, stood the sweet river nymph Daphne. He knew her -- he knew the names of many of the nymphs that resided in these woods -- but beyond a passing glance and a murmured greeting, she had never caught his attention. But now… he couldn’t seem to look away, his lips parting in awe as he stared at her, dumbfounded. Had she always been so breathtaking? How could he have missed such a beauty? Her dark locks flowed down like a waterfall of ink. What it would be to hold that silky hair between his fingers, to braid it and adorn it with flowers and beads! Her eyes were a startling shade of not blue, not green, but something between the two, and he could spend hours drowning in their depths. Her figure had the slightest curve to it, the outline of a river, and he imagined that her body had been crafted to fit against his perfectly. He saw her, loved her, wanted her.

“Daphne.” Apollonas whispered her name, marvelling at the nectar-like flavor that coated his tongue. If just her name was so sweet, then how must her lips taste? Looking was not enough. The urge to find out was unbearable, the earlier argument stolen from his mind entirely as he found himself tossing aside his bow and quiver. What did archery matter when he could master the bow of her lips instead? He would claim it, make it and the rest of her his and his alone. He took a step forth, a giddy smile alighting his features.

“St-stay back,” the nymph stammered, icy fear coiling in the depths of her stomach. She could read his intentions clearly on his face, from the crazed look in his eyes to the wolfish grin he wore to the way his hands reached towards her. Daphne knew all too well what this man planned to do with her, and that should she fall into his grasp, she would not be able to stop him from having his way. So when he took another step forward, she turned and ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Apollonas gaped only a moment before rushing after her, an arrow released from its bow.

“Daphne, please wait! I am no foe! You don’t need to fear me!” he cried out after her. Daphne did not answer him, her thoughts only on escaping. Thorns and brambles tore at the bare skin of her calves, yet she refused to slow down. “You run as if I am a wolf and you a lamb, but that is not so! It is love that spurs me! Don’t fly so fast, lest you fall and wound yourself!”

“Leave me be, you horrid man!” she shrieked, not stopping even as her dress got caught on the surrounding plants and began to tear, revealing her to him little by little. Apollonas’s brows furrowed in worry at the sight of bloodied cuts on her legs. From within him a voice called out: What are you doing, Apollona? Why are you tormenting this poor girl? Leave her be! You will not have your way with her! But before the voice could say more, he caught a glimpse of the bare skin of her thigh, and everything left his mind. His conscience was once more bound and gagged by Eros’s power, forced to watch it all in horror. Speaking of the god of love, he also watched, flying unnoticed above them, yet he felt only amusement from the sight. The sheer terror that had contorted Daphne’s face and drawn panicked tears from her eyes made him smirk, and Apollonas’s frantic yelling drew out peals of laughter. They had both bent to his will so easily, and he was eager to see how this played out.

“You run because you do not know. I am no peasant, no shepherd!” Apollonas called out to her again. She was only afraid because he didn’t know who he was. He knew the moment she realized his true identity, she would stop and turn to him with a blessed smile. “I am the son of Zeus, prince of Olympus, lord of Delphi. By me things future, past and present are revealed. I shape the harmony of songs and strings. You will be happy as my bride, dear Daphne! I will see that your every wish is granted and that no desire goes unfulfilled. Please stay!”

“No! My only desire is to escape you!” Yet this would not be granted, as her body was beginning to fail her. Try as she might, she could not outrun Apollonas; he was strong from years of training and battle, and though she was swift and sure-footed, she had used up all her limited mortal strength. Her legs trembled with every step, her lungs two pits of fire in her chest. And so her traitorous body came to a stop as she gasped for breath, and Apollonas finally had her. He held her hip tightly, freezing her in place. Had he been in his senses and had control over his own body, he’d never have done this, and his conscience screamed within him. But he was deaf to it, the lust coursing through him silencing all else. His eyes soaked in her bare skin when he would’ve shielded them, his hands pulled her closer when he would’ve let her go, and he was ready to claim her when he would’ve done anything but this crime.

“My love.” His warm breath brushed against her ear as he leaned down, pressing his lips against the pale column of her neck. Daphne gasped and tried to pull herself away, but his grip was too strong, utterly unbreakable. How could she escape a god? She was helpless and frail, trapped and alone. There was no one to aid her, no one to stop Apollonas from running his hands down her body and forcing himself against her. And then he was turning her around, wishing to taste her lips, and a final plea escaped her.

“Help me, Peneus!” she screamed for her father. She knew her father could do nothing against an Olympian, but perhaps he could do something to her, and she would accept any escape from this fate. “Open the earth to enclose me, or change my form, which has brought me into this danger! Let me be free of this man from this moment forward!”

Daphne’s prayer was answered, and she was changing.

A stiffness had taken over her body, the swiftness that had protected her for so long sacrificed to escape Apollonas. Her arms lifted of their own accord, her fingers elongating up and her feet rooting into the ground. The dark waterfall split into a hundred streams that lightened to a soft green. Her curved figure fell away as her body thinned into a single arc, her legs fusing and her hands reaching higher and higher. Bark was creeping up from her extremities, down what were now branches and up what had transformed into a trunk. It conquered her shoulders, her chest, her neck. A soft sigh, her last breath, escaped her just as her lips were encased.

Apollonas’s lips met rough bark that cut at his soft skin. With a small gasp, his eyes flew open and he looked straight into Daphne’s piercing eyes. The waves in them had finally calmed, as the storm that had tormented them could no longer ripple its waters. He stared into those beautiful orbs, breathing her name, and watched as they shut forever.

Apollonas couldn’t tear his gaze away, his mind still unable to process the transformation that had unfolded before him. His hand trembled as he raised it, placing flat against the trunk of the tree. A steady pulse graced his fingertips -- a heartbeat. Daphne’s heartbeat. She was this tree, this sorrowful laurel tree, lost from him forever. His legs gave out beneath him as he wept, wrapping his arms around her and leaning his head against her bark. And yet the lust hadn’t left him, and he was kissing the wood over and over, whispering her name and an endless string of apologies as the skin of his lips tore and blood dripped down his chin.

“Oh, Daphne. My Daphne,” he cried, yearning what could’ve been. He thought the image of her smiling sweetly at him, kissing his cheek and calling him ‘husband’, was a vision, a prophecy promising that he could be the source of her happiness until the end of time. But he was wrong. It had been a fantasy, a dream that had slipped out of his grasp. And now she was gone. His sobs doubled in intensity as grief wracked him, and he didn’t notice Eros approaching until he spoke.

“Isn’t this a beautiful sight?” the god of love asked, his lips twisting into a smirk. “Phoebus Apollonas, broken and filthy inside and out. A slave to his desires. Do you accept defeat, oh lustful one?”

Apollonas turned to the other god, and the grief in him sharpened to rage. His beautiful Daphne, the love of his life, had been stolen from him, snatched right out of his hands, and the cause of it all was simply standing there, taking amusement in his loss. He reached for his bow only to find it missing, and so he lunged forth and tackled Eros to the ground, wrapping his hands around the smaller man’s thin neck.

“You monster,” Apollonas growled, his sky blue eyes glowing with divine power. This horrid creature had taken his Daphne from him and deserved nothing less than death. Apollonas would deliver him to the gates of Tartarus himself if necessary. The man must pay for his crimes. He increased the pressure, causing the other god to choke under his iron grip. “You did this!”

“Oh no, Apollona. I merely gave you a nudge. The rest was all you,” Eros gasped out, managing to laugh even as his windpipe threatened to collapse altogether. The sun god’s brows furrowed at the statement, and Eros subtly waved his hand, calming the effects of his magic. “And who knows what you’ll do next if I keep nudging you forth? You’ll be giving your father quite the competition, won’t you?”

The spell finally broke, and Apollonas’s grip slackened as the lust drained out of him and the truth became clear. He had chased Daphne. He had chased Daphne with the intention to force himself on her. He had tried to kiss her and claim her as his own with no care for her terror. He pushed her so far that she thought it better to lose her humanity than to be his. Oh Fates, what had he done? You are the most wicked person to live, Phoebus Apollona. You are no better than your father. You did this to that poor girl. You ruined her.

“N-no,” he whispered, backing away from Eros and clamping his hands over his ears, but it was in vain. The voice came not from outside but from within, where his conscience was finally free to reclaim its owner. And so Apollonas relived the incident that had just taken place. He saw himself chase after her just as Python had chased him and his family, heard his plans to ruin her just as he believed Orion had intended with Artemis, felt himself force himself upon her just as Zeus did to his mother Leto. Never in his life had something been so achingly clear to him as this truth: while he had spent his whole life painting others as wicked, he had been the most terrible monster all along. Apollonas doubled over, spilling his insides onto the earth as though he could purge the maliciousness from his body. But alas, he could not; he was born the destroyer, and he had truly lived up to his name. He could not tell if his scream remained in his soul or ripped out of him. He didn’t know if it was tears or fire spilling from his eyes. All he knew was the terrible truth that he has been blind to all his life.

“You are weak, boy. But I can make you strong,” Eros declared, towering over the hysterical god. He wondered how Olympus would react to seeing their golden heir broken on the ground, sobbing like a spoiled child. He could only imagine they’d be just as entertained as he. Still, the time for games was over. Making sure to avoid the pool of vomit, he crouched down and placed a thin finger under Apollonas’s chin, forcing the young god to meet his gaze. “Here is my offer to you: vow to me on the river Styx that you will follow my every command, and I will save you from further humiliation and heartbreak.”

“What, so I can spend my life blind and deaf, a mindless slave to a heartless man?” A dry, humorless laugh slipped out of Apollonas’s lips. He had seen and tasted truth, and he would not give that up to become Eros’s puppet. He scowled and spat at the love god’s feet, glaring into those blood-red eyes. “That is what I think of your offer.”

“I expected the god of intellect to be wiser than this, but I now see the difference between you and Athena.” Eros sneered, wrinkling his nose at the sorry display. “Do not be hasty, godling, and ponder my words carefully. I am offering you invulnerability. I will harden your heart to stone so that none may hurt you. Without your greatest weakness, you will be unstoppable. You will never have to feel such pain again.”

Apollonas paused for a moment, considering Eros’s claim. To never feel this soul-tearing agony again? To be free of the organ that rebelled against his mind at every moment? Now that he contemplated it, the offer was quite tempting. Without his heart, he would only have to rely on his body and mind, both of which were immaculate. He would indeed be unstoppable, finally the golden heir of Olympus he was expected to be. And yet… his gaze moved to the laurel tree, and a single leaf drifted down before him. Apollonas caught it in the palm of his hand, carefully tracing its pale green veins. If he were to remove his heart, to lose his ability to feel, would that not be a dishonor to Daphne? After all he had put her through, did she not deserve to be mourned and remembered? And what about all the others, every mortal that had suffered at his hand? He would be spitting on their graves by choosing to run away from the pain that, in the face of what torment they had lived through, was nothing. And so Apollonas rose to his feet, stretching to full height and then kneeling down so that his face was merely inches from the love god’s. “Rot. In. Tartarus.”

“You really should have chosen the easy path,” Eros muttered, the smirk sliding off his face as he grit his teeth. Apollonas wanted to regret? Then he’d give him reason to regret. His hands flew to Apollonas’s temples, freezing the younger god in place. Eros’s eyes glowed, twin pits of lava, and his voice boomed as he invoked his ancient power. “I curse you, Phoebus Apollona. May love be your enemy and your heart a traitor. May you be powerless to control the whims of your desire, and may you be the cause of pain to those you love, over and over until the end of time itself.”

Apollonas fell to the ground once more, struggling as the curse rooted itself deep in his soul, at the very essence of his being. By the time his throat had grown too raw for him to continue screaming, Eros had already flown away, leaving behind nothing but punishment. He found himself crawling back to the laurel tree, to Daphne, leaning his forehead against her trunk as he wept. He wept for her, for those before her, and for those after her.

“I’m sorry, Daphne,” he whispered, holding on so tightly the bark dug into his skin and realizing how powerless he really was. “I’d change you back if I could, sweet nymph, but I cannot. Instead, I swear by the river Styx, I won’t let you be forgotten. I bless you so that your leaves are never shed and instead will be woven in wreaths that will become a symbol of honor, the very thing I tried to steal from you. Let mankind see me to be the monster I am if that means your memory will live on. And even if your name no longer forms on the lips of men, they will live on eternally upon my own. This I vow to you.”

With this, he lay one last touch upon the tree before turning away, trudging his leaden feet back to Olympus. He heard the whispers as he arrived in the city, but he paid them no mind and made way to his house. Barely moments after he entered, his fingers scurried over the wall until they found the loose brick that he yanked out and tossed aside. His hands trembled in a moment of hesitation before reaching in. He grasped the bottle of his poison, his secret, his solace. Apollonas lifted it to his lips, tears running down his face, and drank his worries away.

[kuroos-moon]

Tetsuro’s Not-So-Secret Admirer

desc: You’re his biggest fan and shame on you for thinking he doesn’t know. When you disappoint him by not showing up during his match, secrets unfold just right after. 

wc: 1.5k 

warning/s: none 

a/n: ik this isn’t a request but it’s his birthday and i love him to the moon and back i’ll literally sell my soul for him 🥺also, i rlly enjoyed writing this pls give it a shot <333 

They won; they were going to nationals. Nekoma’s captain had all reason to be happy— ecstatic even; this wouldn’t be his last game and they actually have a shot playing Karasuno. Weirdly enough, he was in too much dismay to enjoy their victory, ordering his team to line up in front of their schoolmates who came to cheer them on.

His fan club was there, but you weren’t. He knows you didn’t attend his game; his eyes would always scan the crowd at every timeout and your absence would disappoint him each time, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek as he tries to figure out why you didn’t come to support him.

You were his number one fan, right? He pretended to not know and be nonchalant about how you ‘subtly’ admired him, but oh, he knows— and you’d be embarrassed to know how he found out. One last time, before leaving the court, he looks up at the stands; and still, you weren’t there.

Maybe he was twisted or obsessed, but spiking a ball, scoring off a block or amazingly digging a seemingly impossible-to-receive ball just didn’t feel as exhilarating despite the constant cheering of his name. Pride didn’t course through his veins all throughout the match wherein he led his team without flaw and he blames you for it.

He never got to see the head-over-heels look in your eyes, didn’t hear you shout his name or clutch at your chest anxiously at a long rally, and most importantly, you weren’t there to approach him after such a hard-earned and awaited victorious match. If you were, he just knows it was the time to ask you out on a date instead of settling for the ‘let’s like each other from afar’ relationship.

“Kuroo,” Kenma mutters under his breath, making the disheartened captain look up from his own shoes. He wonders why they’ve stopped, the bus was waiting, but when he sees you standing before his team, he’s rendered helplessly speechless.

You stood self-consciously aware that all of them were staring at you. Not that that mattered much, what really made you become a jumble of nerves was Kuroo’s passive stare. How could you even look at him in the eyes? The answer is you can’t, he was too glorious you’re bound to go blind. His hair was messy as usual and his tall figure made him stand out, black shirt beautifully sticking to his body and his red shorts just not long enough to shield your sight away from his thighs.

“The bus is waiting, let’s hurry up,” Kuroo nonchalantly says to his team, your heart sinking for some reason. What did you expect anyway? You were just another one of his fans and your unwavering feelings for him won’t magically make him like you back.

You just want to see him a little longer, cursing yourself for waking up late and not seeing his game. Before you knew it, one of them passed by you, and another, and another until finally, he walked by you as well, the momentary closeness of Kuroo Tetsuro just when he was beside you making your knees weak and your heart ache with longing.

Unrequited love is hard and being his fan is hard though it’s one of your greatest joys. Seeing him happy, knowing that he had aced another test and witnessing the grin on his face as he focused on something he loved to do made you ultimately content and happy, and that was enough.

But were you sincerely content with it or was it just a lie you told yourself to erase the pain of being a mere fan among many?

Screw loving him from a distance. “Kuroo-senpai!” You call for him, turning around with your body set on sprinting towards his bus if you have to. You were so sure you would confess today, in front of his team if you must without fearing his rejection; but what were you supposed to do when you’re met with his chest the moment you turn around?

He was right in front of you, hands inside the pockets of his unzipped red Nekoma jacket. You lose your voice and bravery, pathetically unable to move or even look up at him as you internally go into panic. He is looking at you and you know that he knows you’re flustered.

“I’m right here,” he quietly says and you gulp. “Weren’t you going to say something?”

For a second you doubt that they won, he just seemed so glum and scary. “It’s nothing, I- I’m sorry, I should go,” your strings of stuttered words were barely audible and your rushing to leave made him all the more frustrated, “after skipping my match like that you’ll run off so soon?”

You look up at him in surprise, “how do you know I wasn’t there?”

“Where were you?” He ignores your question, but you were more curious. “Why do you care?”

He involuntarily cracks a grin, just a second ago you were hardly coherent and you were obviously nervous but now you’re answering his question with another question without breaking a sweat. “I don’t have to answer you if you’re not telling me what it is you wanted to tell me earlier.”

You raise a brow at him, “I said it was nothing.”

“You called for me as if your life was on the line, I’m sure it was nothing,” he sarcastically says. You weren’t sure before, but now you’re positive that he was teasing you. He’s lost the depressing aura he had earlier and wore the cutest grin you’ve seen on him as he stares back at you.

You silently commend yourself for not breaking eye contact but now you don’t even know what to do, feeling cornered and restless. Now is the perfect time to confess, there won’t be another chance like this because you know you’re too chicken to go through another nerve-wracking encounter with him.

“Kuroo-senpai,” you softly say, and he subtly bites the inside of his cheek to fight off the smile that threatened to show upon hearing you say his name. “I- I think I like you,” you mutter, biting your lip as you immediately look away.

“You think?” He taunts, taking a daring step closer to you and smirking when you squeak instead of taking a step back. He’s got you wrapped around his finger and he knows it, “you sound unsure, and that’s not good enough.”

“Good enough for what?” You can’t fight it anymore, you just had to look back at him, wanting to touch him all the more that he stood this painfully close. “Good enough to be more than just my silly fan,” he chuckles, before stepping away.

“I have to go, and since you missed my game earlier,” he trails off in thought but you fail to register a word he just said because you were just so mesmerized at the sight of him. He genuinely looked happy and carefree, his eyes twinkling with excitement and his lips pulled up in a playful grin.

His victory earlier caught on to him but what really made him this euphoric was your confession. “Since you missed my game earlier, you could make up for it by going out with me.”

“What?” Your jaw drops, and his grin widens. “Text me later kitten,” he winks, slowly backing away as he takes steps back, his gaze still not leaving yours, “I assume you have my number.”

“I don’t.” You lie.

“Kuroo-senpai, you don’t know me, but I’m your biggest fan and I hope you ace your test today,” he playfully says, looking back at your horrified expression with a smug smirk.

He takes another step back, “senpai, it’s me again. I’d love to run my fingers through your messy hair, oh and you looked really dashing today in a lab coat.”

Another step, “Kuroo-senpai, you haven’t been sleeping well, I’m worried and I hope you start taking better care of yourself.”

“Stop!” You hiss.

His smirk falls off, replaced by a serious but soft look as he stares back at you, “senpai, you were really amazing today, but I don’t like you just because you’re tall, or handsome or an insanely amazing volleyball player and captain. I love how you care for everyone around you; I love how you’re always so eager to study for chemistry and I definitely love how you kindly flash a smile of gratitude towards your fans after every game. It makes me happy; I just like you very much, Kuroo-senpai, and I’ll support you at your every match since that’s the only time I could express how I feel for you without being discovered.”

“You even memorized that?!” You shriek, words couldn’t even explain how embarrassed you are right now as you cover your face with your hands; you’re pretty much close to crying at this point.

“You... broke off your promise, you weren’t there to cheer me on earlier,” his lips press into a thin line before he cracks a grin, “that was how I expedted your confession to go, but it’s fine,” he snickers.

“So all along you knew that was me?”

“I know you thought you were anonymous when you sent me those texts but I had your contact saved too, I liked you first you know,” he chuckles, “and for the record,” he bites his lip, hesitant to continue but he does, “I don’t even look at anyone else after a match—  I don’t flash a smile of gratitude to my fans y/n, I smile at you.”  

Giving you one last soft smile, he finally turns around and walks away. Who would’ve thought the man of your dreams had you in his every night far longer than you?

General Taglist: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @sunshine-hina @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle @franko-pop @moonlightaangel

[kojinnie]

Dream Me Home: Before Shiganshina

Pairing: Erwin Smith x Reader (gender neutral)

Tags: angst, mild fluff, established relationship (implied), canon universe. Reader is one of the Veterans. spoiler alert if you haven’t gone through anime S3

Summary: Moments shared with Erwin Smith leading up to his timely death. A three-chapter story, surrounding moments before and after the Battle of Shiganshina.

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Set after Levi tried to convince Erwin not to head for Battle of Shiganshina.

This will be a trilogy, with the next two parts coming up soon! All the time set before, during and after Battle of Shiganshina. Hope you enjoy this!

There was an evident pain in the eyes of Levi Ackerman and Hange Zoe as they stepped out of Erwin’s office, and you could feel the weight of their stares immediately fell to the floor when they met your eyes.

Your steps were heavy as you approached them, but it was obvious that they had no intention to making a stop at you. Just Hange passing sympathy to you, patting your shoulder in consolation and Levi, the ever so quiet soldier, murmuring with regret, “We couldn’t change his mind. Sorry.” 

And then they both strived on. Leaving the hallway leading to Erwin’s office as quiet as it was before.

You could feel the stonewall of Mitras grew cold at your touch as you leaned to it, as you gathered what’s left of your heart. You had been anxiously pacing outside Erwin’s office for hours, wishing that there was enough power in Hange and Levi’s words in convincing Erwin to turn away from the eyes of war. You had been wishing, that if your solemn plea did not get to Erwin’s heart, at least his camaraderie with Levi and Hange would. As it happened, it all turned out to be nothing but a wishful thinking.

The afternoon sunrays dispersed through the columns of Mitras, and they made a beautiful gleam of warmth on the hallway steps leading to Erwin’s office. There’s beauty in living, you thought to yourself and it saddened you because you did not understand why Erwin would want to leave this all behind.

You racked your brain, trying to gather all the things you would reason to him with. All the beauties in the living he could see: The glimmer of Trost’s cobblestones underneath the street lamps; the joyful shriek of kids basking in the summer heat; the piercing cold of winter expedition outside the wall; or even, the mundane military briefing with the odd bore that Darius Zackly was, where Erwin would steal a glance at you across the room. And then the smile you faintly threw back at him, or the butterflies within your guts as you saw him rose from his seat, laying out his battle strategy before the eyes of the Wall’s most important men. Would those be enough reasons to soften the hardened heart of Erwin Smith?

He knew you had been lingering outside his office, evident by his call to you just now. His deep voice seeped through the door that wasn’t fully closed, “You can come in now.”

You knew what it was not to cry, to dismiss your emotion for it was the worst weakness a soldier could ever possess. Battle-born and inured, you had no privilege of being fragile when it comes to the fate of all human: death.

So, you remained stoic, as you walked in to his office.

“Commander.”

“Captain.”

Your eyes met, and the look of agony was apparent in the skies of his eyes that had grown cold and tired. He averted his eyes from you, quickly to the paper works laid out on the desk in front of him. Your heart broke to see the struggle he had writing down simple notes, slowly and carefully by each alphabet, as he was still trying to make use of his left arm.

You closed the door behind you and made your way to him, repossessing all the self-restraint you had, “You’re a difficult man to sway.”

Once the door was closed, and there were only the two of you, you could feel warmth started to grew in Erwin. Something unbeknownst to other soldiers but you, “I am,” He said with a dim smile, “Unfortunately.”

“You must be proud of yourself,” there was a bitterness in your statement that you masked by pacing around Erwin’s office, staring afar at the view of the afternoon through his windows.

“I would, if I still had my right arm,” Erwin laid out a large parchment, and reached for the ruler, staring at the squad formation that he had strategized, “and not be a dead weight to my soldiers—do you mind?”

You quickly helped to hold the parchment and the ruler in place, as Erwin drew formation lines with his left hand. Shaky, he messed his inked.

He gruntled in annoyance and threw a new parchment on the table, signaling you to take over instead. You had become acquainted of Erwin Smith’s thoughts and ideas, and without much direction you drew the formation he was meaning to draw.

“I will lead the cavalry here,” he pointed at the forefront of the formation, motioning for you to draw accordingly, “the rear will be packed with new recruits. Unfortunately, it will be our most susceptible point. I’ll have Levi there.” You drew an x with red ink on the places he’d pointed at, a mark signifying the position of humanity’s strongest soldier.

“Where Hange and the kids will be?”

“They’re not kids anymore,” he retorted in dismay, there was almost a pain in the way he spoke, “not since the wall broke.”

He had grown to care for the kids, you came to realize. The 104th Cadets who got so deep in the crossfire of humanity’s last effort to survive, and now they’re at the front-line of it. Retaking Wall Maria was the mission, and Shiganshina was the destination. This was the city decimated by the might of the Colossal and Armored Titan years ago, the beginning of a prolonged dark sequence in a life that was already a living hell. And now they were to return, at the same place it started, facing the same Titans.

You remembered it, fighting for survival through the hurdles of cobbles and rubbles, as houses and buildings of Shiganshina flew like debris across your head. The uncanny stench of guts and blood, as you made your best effort to keep anyone alive from the wrath of the giant devils.

The way your Scout uniform latched on to your skin, dampened by the blood of mothers and daughters – is a memory forever ingrained deep within your mind. You were there, and the fear never left you. That’s why you left the Scout and joined the Garrison, “serve where you may” were the words that Erwin uttered the day you announced your repositioning, as you coped with the possibility of losing Erwin, each time he braced another expedition outside the wall. No longer with you close to him, or in any position where you may give aid whenever danger bruised him. You were selfish, but Erwin understood your decision.

“Is this the formation you’re going to use against the Beast Titan?” you asked. There was an immediate scare creeping through your spine as you mentioned the devil’s name. You had heard of this newly emerging titan; a creature of horror, one that was so menacing with capability beyond compare. The one that took Miche, and the one that Erwin had to face now.

He did not say a word, only a nod.

“Have you fought him before?” The wariness in your voice was getting apparent, as emotions started to defeat your trained restraint, “how do you know your standard formation would work on him?”

The Commander sighed, validating your fear. Ever since he lost an arm, his balance had been quite compromised. He put his hand on the surface of his working desk for support, as he sat himself down on his leather-bound chair.

“You don’t.”

“Yes. You’re right,” Erwin paused for a moment, and slowly tilted his head up to look at you towering over him. It was a foreign sight, to see him wounded and fragile as he had always been the shield of courage to your feeble heart, “I do not. I want you to know that.”

“What will happen then?”

Erwin looked down, his right hand reached to where his left arm used to be, massaging it softly. You knew he had not coped well with his injury, the sleepless nights, the ghostly itch, the deprecation he inflicted towards himself. Erwin Smith was not used to being looked down and pitied, and it frustrated him to no end. When the news broke that he would be heading for the mission, everyone thought the same, ‘He is going to die’, but no one had enough guts to tell him directly to his face but Levi and you. Everyone thought that Erwin was oblivious to this possibility, but only the two of you knew that Erwin already anticipated the possible lethal end for him, and still, it would not dissuade his choice. Erwin had made his decision.

Erwin reached for the ruler and pointed the lines and crosses you had drawn, elaborating the plan of capturing both Colossal and Armored Titan with the explosive device that Hange had invented. He talked about the prospect of retaking Wall Maria, its details and strategies, and it was upsetting that at times Erwin would treat you like you were only his soldier, not someone who had been close to his heart for years.

You softly put down the ruler in his hand to the desk, as your eyes fell on his, “Erwin, what will happen to you?” The Commander in Erwin dissipated in your presence, and you could feel his eyes started to display the vulnerability he had sworn to disguise to no end, “You’re in no condition to fight.”

“That’s true.” He muttered, holding the hand you had on his ruler. His thumb softly caressed the skin on your knuckles as he dragged his stare away from your eyes – gazing afar at the afternoon skies that had turned warmly tinted as the sun fell, “Levi was adamant that I’d return as a corpse if I go.”

The coil in your guts grew tighter as you gulped your despair down with the pretense of a toughened comrade, “I share his foresight.”

“You do?”

“Erwin, I do.”

The words hung in your throat like a tumor. You realized, death has countless faces, and you have encountered many of them, yet Erwin’s would be the one death you may never recover from.

Erwin smiled, taking your hand to his lips and kissed it long, closing his eyes with an odd serene look on his face, “In another world, you would say those words in a completely different circumstance, you know?”

You cackled, because you had no better response to that, but even trying to humorize the predicament you were in only pain your heart further, “Yes, I know.”

The tears finally broke soundlessly, it seeped through the crack of your broken heart, and cascaded down your face to Erwin’s relief, as he realized he still held what’s left of your heart, “What will become of me then?” you asked, “Without you?”

He stood up and pulled you closer, cupping your face with his coarse hand and kissed the eyelid where the tear had fallen from, as he said softly, “I want you to listen carefully.”

You nodded, and peeled your face away from his hand. Listening like an obedient soldier that you were.

“If I don’t make it, Hange will lead on as the Commander. Levi, he will make it out alive. He must.” Erwin eyes didn’t leave yours, “Many of us will not be returning home. If I be one of them… I want you to take me home. Whatever left of me. I want you to be the one to recover my body, and lay me next to my father.”

“My soldiers will need your help. If the time comes and a messenger has been dispatched to confirm that we have won the battle, I want you to bring your Garrison squad to Shiganshina, to help the wounded, and bring the bodies home – to peace that they have died for."

You nodded, although his words swarmed your mind like piercing knives. But you nodded, because you wanted to be strong even when the strength that you always leaned yourself on was to depart and never return.

You looked once again at the divine blue irises that taught you all about duty and tenacity, and imagined the life you could live on if Erwin and you weren’t born in the lap of despair that you called home. In another life, you would hear music of peace and pride, not somber wail of war and wrath. But for now, you chose to live and savor the painful taste of goodbye.

“I’ll be close behind, Commander,” you said with a faint smile, dusting yourself up, “you can count on me.”

Erwin passed a solemn nod as he pulled you in closer to the last embrace you would have with him, and whispered, “Dream me home, my darling. Dream me home when I’m no longer here.”

Hey guys! Thanks for reading it. So far, this is still one of the works that I enjoyed writing the most, so glad if you happen to like it!

ADD-ON: Anyway, if you like this and wonder how Levi x Reader version the night before the battle would be like, @weepinglevi wrote Levi's conversation with his S/O the night before the battle. And I really love her works so much, you can check hers here.

Hope you have a nice day and remember: Erwin loves you.

Or you can check my Masterlist here!