#‘oh i must get home to my 3 toddlers and husband so we can pay the mortgage’

[mirandahamilton]

just an update now that i’m working my dream job: it’s cool but i hate my fucking life!!!!!!!

[thefanficmonster]

A Little Childish

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF

Summary: Corpse and Y/N go to visit Y/N’s parents for New Year’s. Corpse was promised good food, good company and A LOT of snow. Needless to say, the place didn’t disappoint - quite the contrary actually, it exceeded any and all expectations he had.

Requested by @waterflowersposts Hi there! Sorry for how long it took for this fic to be written :( I hope the final result makes up for the long wait! I also thought it would be appropriate to post it during the holiday season, so I hope you don’t mind. Hope you enjoy the read and I’m looking forward to hearing your feedback and any more requests you may have. Stay safe! Happy Holidays! Love, Vy ❤

I watch as Corpse is basically floating from one room into another in our shared apartment as he’s throwing random articles of clothing in his open suitcase. I have already packed my bags, knowing full well what the appropriate attire is for where we’re going.

I look away from my laptop when Corpse comes in for maybe the sixtieth time today, this time carrying a white tee causing me to chuckle. “Corpse, I know it’s very trademark for you, but the only way you’ll be wearing that when we get there is under a sweater for some extra warmth. I’m not looking forward to having my boyfriend freeze in my parent’s house.”

He smiles, looking at the shirt in his hands, and shakes his head, “Fine, guess I’ll do without it for a week or two.” He throws it in our room, not even bothering to check where it’ll land before he comes to sit down next to me on the couch, “Keep in mind, you have set my expectations pretty high up there. If I am not waist deep in snow the second we step off the plane, I’ll be disappointed.”

I give him a side glance, a smirk playing on my lips. Must say, taking on challenges you know you’re gonna win is the ultimate high-and-mighty feeling. “Honey, you’ve got a big snowstorm coming.”

                                                               *  *  *

All throughout our trip - I’m talking the drive to the airport AND the flight over - I have kept my eyes glued to Corpse, observing as his eyes sparkled more and more with each foot we got closer to our destination. He has told me the most snow he has seen was less than an inch and I immediately felt it was my duty to change that by introducing him to the magic of Canada - my home. My parents own a getaway cottage in the mountains of Calgary where we used to go every holiday season. My earliest memory is playing in the thigh-deep snow with my older sister and crying whenever our parents had to drag us back inside. 

The West Coast of the US was a rather odd surrounding for me, having grown up surrounded by snowy mountains, experiencing Christmas with no snow whatsoever was a true let down and underwhelming feeling. Since Corpse and I started dating about a month after Christmas time last year this will be our first time spending the holidays together and Corpse was more than enthusiastic to visit Canada when I mentioned how much I enjoyed my winters there. We couldn’t go for Christmas, but we’ll be there for New Year’s Eve and the first two weeks of 2021 and I am really excited. I have been dying to see my family that has actually expanded since the last time I visited - my sister has had yet another baby, making her and her husband parents of three very energetic toddlers. The six year old twins - Ashley and Alex - and the three year old Andrew. Or, as I like to call them: The 3 As.

I have warned Corpse about them like seven times despite the fact that he’s already familiar with their energy, convincing him that if that’s more than he can handle we’ve still got time to cancel the trip. He didn’t bat an eye though, each time telling me not to worry and focus my attention on reliving the moments I’ve missed so greatly instead of making sure he was having a good time.

“If you’re there...“ he said, “I’ll sure as hell be having a good time.“

One step out of the airport and he’s already mesmerized. His eyes are shiny reflecting the glow of the snow all around. It’s gonna be funny to see his reaction when he witnesses the real deal - the snow in the mountains. This compared to that is a pathetic excuse.

“I know it’s not waist-high, but that’s because they shovel it and melt it.“ He is looking around, not paying much mind to my words. The utter amazement and disbelief on his face just makes me want to wrap my arms around him and kiss him. He’s simply adorable! I see fragments of the child in him swimming up to the surface in the form of temptation - temptation every kid feels when they see snow: Dive in and lose track of time. “Wait till we get to the cottage.“

This manages to catch his attention, “You weren’t kidding.“

I laugh at my precious kiddy boyfriend. “Whoa there, Corpsie. If your mind is already blown, I’m worried about how you’ll react to the real deal.“ 

I have a feeling I know exactly how he’ll react cause I react similarly - I set the child in me free. After all, no parent can tell you to stop playing and go inside when you are a 23-year-old.

                                                             *  *  *

Walking up to the cottage from the cable-car station has to be the first time I’ve breathed with my lungs’ full capacity in the last five years. The sharp cold air screams ‘home’ to me like nothing else ever did. I am still surprised as to how my sister prefers summer. My family jokes I’m a winter wolf in disguise and I think they’re right. I do like to roll around in the snow much like a wolf. No judgement! Having a few extra years added to my age doesn’t change everything.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God.“ If I could take a shot every time Corpse has repeated this phrase I’d be dead due to liver failure. He is absolutely stunned. And I’m pretty sure he hasn’t blinked at all. Who am I to talk - I haven’t either. These mountains keep getting prettier and prettier, I swear. Taking my eyes off them would be a crime.

“Told you. I wish we made a bet, I could’ve made some easy money.“ I tease him, gently bumping my elbow against his as we walk up the trail.

“I’m glad I didn’t propose such a thing. That would’ve been fucking stupid of me.“ Judging by the tone of his voice, he is not really present in this conversation, so I decide not to let it go on any longer.

Not that I could’ve done differently, seeing as how barely three seconds latter I see three smiling faces coming at me at max speed.

Oh boy.

“Auntie Y/N!“ Ashley and Alex arrive first of course, wrapping their arms tightly around my waist. Little Andrew stumbles his way to me as quickly as a three year old possibly could.

Without wasting a second, I put my bags down and crouch so I can hug them properly. “Hi my babies! I haven’t seen you in so long.” Their hugging strength surprises me and warms my heart at the same time. The twins pull away, leaving room for the little duckling in a jacket two times his size and weight. “Hi Andrew! I nice to meet you! I’m auntie Y/N. Mommy and daddy have told you about me, haven’t they? If not I’ll kick their asses.”

“Y/N, I swear, I’ll tell Amy you’re teaching her kids swears at a very early age.“ Corpse says teasingly, stealing the attention from all four of us.

“She curses like a sailor, these kids probably know more swear words than I do.“ Ash and Alex run straight out of my grasp and to Corpse, proceeding to hug him around the waist as they did with me. They met Corpse when my sister and her husband Finn visited me back in the summer. They immediately fell in love with him. I specifically remember Alex telling me I have a ‘really cool boyfriend‘ and he only uses the word ‘cool‘ when he really likes something or someone. Corpse was honorably declared cool by Alex and that still warms my heart till this day.

“Hi guys, long time no see!“ He too crouches down to hug the little demons that immediately cling to him like koalas.

I scoop up the bundle of clothes with a face and stand up, balancing him on my hip. “Let’s attempt to get inside, shall we?” With my unoccupied arm I grab the handle of my suitcase.

Corpse nods and follows my lead, picking up the bags he also left in the snow. Ash and Alex bolt it back to the house while we struggle to follow, lowkey embarrassed by the pace we’re walking with.

Andrew struggles against me, reaching out towards Corpse. I look at them both apologetically. “You’ll meet Corpse when we get inside, darling. Chill out.”

“Y/N!“ My sister’s voice steals my attention. She emerges from the house, followed by the twins, a huge smile on her face. Her eyes land on Andrew who has calmed down is now resting his head on my shoulder sleepily, “Oh I’m so sorry about them, Y/N. I didn’t know they would charge at you the second you stepped foot on the property.“

Amy motions for me to give her her son but I hand her my suitcase instead. When she takes it I use my now freed arm to hug her as tightly as I possibly can with one arm and while balancing a baby on my chest. “It’s ok! I couldn’t have dreamed of a better welcoming.” I release, giving her a big smile.

She loses interest in me and goes to hug Corpse, taking a bag from him as well before giving him a hug. “Oh my God, Corpse, it feels like it’s been forever. I’m so glad to see you.”

“Happy to see you too, Amy.“ My sister has never liked a single guy I’ve dated. EVER. Corpse is the only one she warmed up to and that’s a huge deal to me. Corpse’s happiness when I told him that was something I’d pay to have filmed just so I can watch it every time I’m feeling down.

“Let’s get you both inside, you must be freez-“ She cuts herself off, rolling her eyes at me, “Of course, you’re not.“

I laugh and blow her a kiss as we keep carrying onward.

“Um, guys?“ Corpse’s voice makes me pause and turn around. He’s still standing in the same spot, looking- unsettled, I guess you could call it.

“What’s wrong?“ I walk over to him, taking his hand in mine.

His hand automatically gives mine a reassuring squeeze, “Nothing really, it’s just that...I’m meeting your parents for the first time and-...What if they don’t like me?”

I open my mouth to go off and start stating the obvious that they indeed won’t like him. They will LOVE him. It’s impossible not to love this man! But my sister beats me to it when it comes to stating the facts.

“Look, Corpse, they already love you. Heck, sometimes I feel like they have known Finn and you longer than they have known Y/N and I! They speak so highly of you and haven’t even met you - that should tell you more than enough about how they see you.“ She waves her hand towards the cottage, “Now walk in there and blow them away.“

Honestly, I’m glad Amy beat me to it. I couldn’t have said it better myself. 

And just like that, hand in hand, Andrew still in my other arm, we walk in.

                                                             *  *  *

Corpse is officially the main attraction, stealing the spotlight from Amy, Finn and I - something the three of us are incredibly thankful for. Amy was right with every word she said - my parents are absolutely in love with Corpse. Luckily for Finn and Amy, the 3 As are all over him as well. Especially Andrew. The second someone sets him down he just waddles his way over to Corpse who picks him up and settles him in his lap while he answers my parents’ questions. 

When the kids were finally talked into taking a nap, Corpse and I snuck out to have a little walk in the snow and, of course, take some pictures. I made it my personal goal to make as many artsy and aesthetic photos of him as possible. His favorite - a hand only pic of him holding a snowball - was my idea and I think I have never felt prouder of myself.

“I am definitely posting this one.“ He says, turning the phone so I can see the screen. I give it a quick glance, thinking he’s talking about the hand pic but do a double take when I realize it’s a picture of me that he has taken without my knowledge.

I actually look rather decent, so I give him a green light in the form of a big thumbs up, “As long as you post the hand one too.”

“Hey, Y/N!“ We look back at the house which isn’t far from where we are right now. Amy is hugging the jacket tightly around herself as she approaches us with fast steps. “You know where we haven’t been in like forever?“

I raise an eyebrow and shake my head as I rack through my brain trying to dig up what she’s referring to. It could literally be any place on this mountain!

“Hello! The Waterless Lake? Ring any bells?“

Oh...it sure does.

Brief explanation: it is a huge circular dip in the ground which fills with water when the snow melts and becomes a lake but empties by the time winter comes back around. That being said, when the snow is still not melted, it’s an absolute wonderland to play in. I suddenly remember all the barrel-rolling Amy and I did there as kids and feel really nostalgic.

“Oh God, yes! I miss that place!“ I say, snapping out of my reminiscing trance. “Let’s go while it’s still light enough.”

“Finn is making dinner right now, or trying to at least.“ She rolls her eyes, turning to Corpse, “But it’d be our pleasure if you tagged along, Corpse.“

Corpse shakes his head, “I’ll politely decline. You ladies can reminisce and chat in peace, while I’ll be helping Finn in the kitchen.” He gives me a quick peck on the lips before excusing himself, “Have fun!”

“You too!“ We call back to him in unison.

Amy gives me an amazed, wide-eyed look, “He can cook?”

I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly, smirking, “Oh, you have no idea.”

She laughs, linking arms with me as we begin walking our way to the Waterless Lake. The place probably has a different name or no name at all, but we named it that as kids and never told our parents where it was. It’s our spot, and it is very surprising Amy offered Corpse to accompany us there.

“Sis, you are very lucky. I hope you know that.“ She tightens the hold on my arm with hers, pulling us closer together.

“I tell myself that every time I look at him, Aims. I am fully aware.“ I say dreamily, recalling all the times I’ve spent with Corpse. Almost one full year and I could never imagine that year, nor the upcoming ones, without him.

                                                                *  *  *

Upon returning, we’re met with the most wholesome scene I have ever seen - Corpse and Finn are making snowmen with the 3 As. It seems like they’ve been at it for a while, considering there is an army of snowmen of different designs, shapes and sizes all at different spots throughout the perimeter of the clearing in front of the house.

“Oh dear Lord.“ Amy mumbles, “I had a feeling this would happen.“

The five snowman-builders don’t even acknowledge our presence when we approach them. Ashley and Alex are running around with Finn, looking for sticks to use as the snowmen’s limbs while Corpse is helping Andrew gather as much snow as possible for the body.

I don’t realize there’s a huge smile on my face up until the point I’m trying to say something. Nothing comes out, though. My words are being muffled by all the overwhelming emotions that have taken over - collapsing my senses. 

With a roll of her eyes, my sister opens the front door, taking a step into the house. The second the door opens, however, I get a whiff of the delicious smell coming from inside. Best guess, and probably the right one - this is Corpse’s doing. 

If I wasn’t already hungry, I sure as hell am now and I’m in no mood to be in that delicious food’s proximity without attacking it. 

“Come on, guys! Dinner time! Get your butts inside!“ I call out to them from the doorway.

Corpse turns to look at me with the sneakiest smirk I have ever seen. He narrows his eyes at me, “You have done the very thing you despise!”

It takes me approximately three seconds to connect the dots and scrunch up my face, picking up all the snow I can an forming it in a snow ball, throwing it at Corpse. Growing up doing this exact thing has given me great aim, therefore I hit Corpse square in the chest.

“Oh you’re so in for it now.“ He laughs, picking up snow to form his own snowball.

“Snowball fight!“ Ashley yells, ditching the sticks to make a snowball for herself.

“Oh no...“ I poke my head in the hallway just as a snowball hits my upper arm, “Aims, I need your help!“ 

Before Amy can respond, I run to take cover behind the nearest snowman that, luckily for me happens to be one of the larger ones. I hear Amy call out my name when she exits the house, followed by a surprised yelp from her when three snowballs hit her. “You are all dead!”

While she is fighting blood and fire (well, water really), I am making ammunition for us both to use. I’m on my eleventh snowball when snow showers me from above as though it has fallen from a tree branch.

“Hiding, I see.“ I am still in shock, hair and upper body covered in snow, when I hear Corpse’s taunting voice.

My vengeance instinct kicks in having me grab two snowballs and turn to throw them at him. To my dismay, he’s faster then me and doesn’t allow me to even get my arm at an angle where I could throw properly. Instead, he turns me back around and picks me up with ease, one arm wrapped around my waist, another grabbing two of my prepared snowballs from the ground.

“Let’s show them who the bosses are.“ I see him wink at me from the corner of my eye and it takes me little to no time to catch onto what he’s insinuating.

In short, with joined forces, we took out the opposite team in no time - like a true couple 😉

[vexing-imogen]

the persistence of 3/?

read from beginning | read on ao3

Whitestone shouldn’t feel familiar to her. Percy says it’s their home, sure, but she’s never stepped foot in this city, had never even heard of it before today. The streets, the buildings, the surrounding forest and distant mountains are completely foreign to her. And yet...

The square around them is thankfully empty, save for some unnaturally lifelike statues that, after a moment of intense focus, Vex realizes are...them. Vox Machina. She studies her own stone face, and it’s like looking in a broken mirror. The features are undeniably hers, but the expression is one of such aching sadness that she has to turn away. She hadn’t considered until now that there might be things from the past five years that she wouldn’t want to remember.

She feels Percy tense when she buries her face in his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“My head is killing me.” It’s not a total lie. Her skull is still throbbing. And the eerie deja vu of this place isn’t likely to help her maintain any semblance of balance.

“Oh, god, of course.” He lowers them both to the ground, her back supported by the giant tree. “Pike, do you have any healing spells left?”

“I’ve still got my big one,” Keyleth offers. Vex winces as a hand touches a sensitive spot on the back of her head, but the pain is quickly replaced by a flood of healing magic. She opens her eyes to Keyleth’s smiling face. “Better?”

Vex nods, grateful that the motion doesn’t trigger any pain or nausea. “Loads,” she says, squeezing Keyleth’s hand. “Thank you.”

“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” Scanlan asks, turning to Percy. “I’m assuming you’re not going to make us pay for rooms?”

“Right, um...” Percy thinks for a minute, runs a hand through his hair. “I was thinking I’d take Vex to the manor for the night, have the lot of you stay in your rooms at the castle.” He turns to Vex. “If that’s alright with you, dear?”

She eyes him warily. “Is there a reason why we can’t all sleep in the same place?”

He hesitates. “I suppose not, if that will make you more comfortable. If you’d rather stay at the castle, I don’t mind. But, Vesper is at the manor, and as I haven’t seen her in nearly a week, that is where I will be tonight.”

“Of course,” she murmurs. “Is the manor not big enough for everyone?”

“No, it is,” he says. “But, trying to get an excitable toddler to go to bed when nearly all of her favorite people are in the house?” He chuckles. “I’d have more luck trying to wrestle a bear.”

She gasps at that last word. “Trinket! Where is he?” she asks, looking around frantically. “We didn’t leave him behind, did we?”

Percy smiles gently. “He’s at the manor with Vesper and her nanny. I can send him up to the castle for you if you’d like?”

She thinks it over, finally shaking her head. “I want to come home with you.” She swallows hard. “And if it’s really been almost a week that we’ve been gone, I don’t want Vesper to think that I’ve abandoned her, or something awful like that. And I do want to meet her, I’m just-” She looks up into the foliage, blinking back tears. “This is just really overwhelming, and I don’t want to do it alone.”

Percy is quiet for a minute. “Would it help if one person came with us? Maybe Pike or Keyleth,” he suggests. “That way it’s not just you and me, but it’s not a madhouse either.”

Vex nods.

“I can come,” Keyleth offers. “That way Grog and Scanlan aren’t left totally unsupervised.”

Percy turns to Pike. “Can you fill Cassandra in?” he asks.

“Of course.” Pike gives Vex a tight hug before she sets off after Grog and Scanlan. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay? I promise you, we’ll fix this.”

============================================================

That uneasy feeling nags Vex through the entire walk to the manor. Her feet seem to remember this path, jumping over or sidestepping holes in the cobbled street that would trip her up. Percy raises an eyebrow at her after the third time this happens, and she shrugs. “Muscle memory?”

“Must be,” he says, the look in his eyes growing a little more hopeful.

“Tell me about Vesper?” she asks, hoping to distract them both.

Percy fully smiles for the first time since she woke up. “What would you like to know?”

“Anything. Everything.” She sighs. “I don’t want to feel like a stranger to her.”

By the time Percy is pointing out the manor to her, he and Keyleth have filled her in on everything from Vesper’s favorite stuffed animal (a wolf, named Woofers) to a myriad of nicknames (Nugget, Cub, Little Bug). Of course, none of this prepares her for actually seeing her daughter for the first time.

They’re outside of the manor, playing in the twilight; Trinket, a dwarf woman who must be the nanny, Rika, and Vesper. Vex freezes in the street, her breath catching in her throat. If she had any doubts left that this was real, they’re now dispelled.

She feels Percy’s hand on her back. “Are you ready?”

She shakes her head, tears spilling over. “She’s so beautiful, Percy.”

“Well, she does take after her mother.” Her heart does a wicked little flip in her chest. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Too much, I know.”

“You don’t have to apologize, darling,” she says, taking his hand. “It was sweet. C’mon.” She steels herself and starts walking to the front gate.

Trinket spots them first, bellowing a greeting. Vesper squeals when she sees them, and runs for the gate as fast as her little legs will carry her.

“Mama, mama!” She launches herself at Vex, who just manages to catch her and not send them both tumbling to the ground. Everything Percy told her leaves in that instant. Vesper is a comforting, familiar weight in her arms, and she’s fighting back tears because she doesn’t remember her.

Still, she’s nothing if not a good actress. “Hi, sweetheart.” She peppers kisses across the little girl’s face, earning a peal of giggles. “I missed you so much.”

She gets a wet kiss on the cheek in return. “Missed you too, Mama.” She starts wiggling in Vex’s grasp. “Lemme go, I catch fireflies now.”

Percy scoops her up before she can dart across the yard. “Actually, little miss, I think it’s time for your bath.”

“Daddy, noooooooo.”

He taps her on the nose, ignoring her pout. “If you take a bath now, Aunt Kiki can read you an extra story before bedtime.”

Vex barely registers what he says to Rika, or what the dwarf says to her as she leaves the manor grounds. The distant sound of the front door shutting behind Percy snaps something inside of her, and she doubles over, sobbing.

Keyleth stays by her side, rubbing her back, whispering soothing nonsense. Trinket allows her to wrap her arms around his neck and soak his fur with her tears. There’s a horrible yearning in her chest that she can’t rid herself of, no matter how hard she cries. Not that she wants to get rid of it, and that’s the problem, isn’t it?

She loses track of time, but the sun hasn’t fully set when she heaves a deep sigh and wipes the last of her tears.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Keyleth asks, still rubbing her back.

“I feel like an imposter,” she says after a minute. “This is...everything I’ve ever wanted, Keyleth. A home, a family. Someone who loves me. Not even Vax knows how badly I’ve wanted this. And it’s all right here in front of me, and everyone’s telling me that it’s mine.”

“But it doesn’t feel like it is,” Keyleth guesses.

She sniffles, a few stray tears falling. “Is it really my life if I don’t remember building it?” she asks. “It feels like I snuck in and stole it from someone who actually deserves it.”

“Of course it’s your life,” Keyleth says. “This isn’t like one of those stupid books where someone has an evil twin that legitimately tries to steal their life. You’re still you, Vex. This is your house. Percy is your husband. Vesper is your daughter.”

“And if none of this works, and I never get those memories back, what then?”

Keyleth pauses for a moment. “That won’t change the way we feel about you, Vex. You’ll still be our friend, our sister. No one’s going to stop loving you.” She shakes her head. “It’s like Pike said, though, we’ll figure this out. We’ll fix this.”

Vex turns towards the house, scratches Trinket’s ear absentmindedly. “I wish I could believe you.”

[eastonia-blog]

I’m going to do a weird.

I know a whole lot of us are stuck at home due to the COVID19 outbreak and all our respective governments attempting to flatten the curve. So I’m going to break out my VAST library of fanfiction recommendations for you to read! Please bear in mind that my tastes in fics are not necessarily like yours so the following 15 Fandom reccs might be hit or miss. All ships and above T ratings will be tagged with brackets, all crossovers will be mentioned in those same brackets. Also, if I mention it’s part of a series, I’m not just recommending the fic I mentioned, I’m recommending the whole series. I’ve tried to recommend a different author’s fic each time. So! Let’s start with the 3 fandoms I mention in my blog description.

1) ATLA Fate Deferred (Zutara) Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. Sozin’s comet comes, the world keeps turning with no Avatar to save it, and by the time he’s finally found by a waterbender and her Fire Nation husband, a lot has changed. [Zutara established relationship full series rewrite; Now on Book II: Earth]  Cheating at Pai Sho (Canon Divergence) “You said you were the Avatar!” “…I lied?” Aang doesn’t get rescued in episode two, and no one’s seen him go glowy yet… so he starts bluffing. Hard. Or: “The Avatar joins Zuko’s quest to find the Avatar.” In which Zuko doesn’t join the Gaang, the Gaang joins Zuko.  The Undying Fire: Blood and Fire (First in the Undying Fire Series, eventual Zutara) Book 1. In which rescuing the Avatar from Pohuai Stronghold doesn’t end so well. It’s a tough life being a banished prince trying to get home, especially when the Avatar just wants to be your friend and keeps making everything confusing. Oh, and did Zuko mention he somehow healed the kid? Yeah, that happened. Stalking Zuko (First in the Stalking Zuko Series, eventual Zutara) Katara has developed a new hobby. At the Western Air Temple she takes to stalking Zuko. Much silliness and shenanigans follow. In chapter 20: Katara and Zuko return home to the others. Katara hates the F word and she comes to a decision regarding Zuko.  Embers (Canon divergence) Dragon’s fire is not so easily extinguished; when Zuko rediscovers a lost firebending technique, shifting flames can shift the world…  2) Percy Jackson and the Olympians The Father (Percabeth in the GFFA, eventual Anidala) It all started with a wish, but because it was Percy Jackson it couldn’t have been a friendly goddess granting him a wish. No, it had to be Nemesis, goddess of revenge and balance. Now Percy and Annabeth are stuck in a strange new galaxy right when an ancient and powerful darkness finally begins to stir.  Glass Figures (MCU Mashup) I lifted my gun, pointing it towards the minefield of shattered fragments, and kicked the small coffee table out of the way.Only to stare down at an awfully familiar face, which split into a somewhat lopsided grin. The intruder raised his hands in a mocking surrender. //“Long time no see, dude.” //I lowered the gun. “What the hell are you doing in South Peru?” //Or in which Clint Barton and Percy Jackson have a long personal history that starts in high school. All Together, Cousins (Canon divergence) When Thalia ran away with her toddler brother, Jason, she slowly gathered her cousins: she and her cousins being Big Three children. As Jason gets older and their motley group expands to six, Thalia resigns herself to the fact that she won’t always be the leader of the pack. As she accepts that, something more is coming, able to challenge even the gods above. A Crown of Golden Leaves (Historical AU) Annabeth, a Lady from the declining polis of Athens, must marry the Heir Apparent of Rome to save the rapidly expanding world from a threat even the gods couldn’t foresee.  Deluge (Percy in the Arrowverse) Barry has to deal with yet another Metahuman that Zoom has pitted against him. But this ‘Metahuman’ is an unwilling pawn in Zoom’s plan and really wants to find a way around killing the Scarlet Speester. But how can he when Zoom is holding something against him? 

3) DC Firework (First in the Sparks in the Dark Series) Orphaned and removed from the only life he’s ever known, Dick feels like there’s no light left for him in the world. His new benefactor, however, still sees something worth saving… Chronological beginning of the Spark in the Dark series.   Iron, Fire, Mirror-Glass After a brutal confrontation with Bane, Bruce comes away with a broken spine and the certainty that his days as Batman are over. An unexpected discovery offers him another chance—but at what price? The story of a man who risks his soul for the sake of his mission, the dangerous creature he names Robin, and the unlikely partnership that will shape the legend of Gotham’s Dark Knight.  Get Back Up There was a mole, one who played a long game. The team was betrayed, crushed. Robin nearly died. What are they going to do now? Only one chirped the answer. Get back up. WARNING: lots of talking, little action, many follow ups  Five Times …Five times Damian thought of Dick Grayson as his father, and the one time Dick thought of Damian as his son. Future-fic. YJ characters will show up later. Batman!Dick and Damian as Robin. With guest appearances from Jason, Tim, Cass, and Steph.  Unveiling the Mystery Series of one-shots about the team learning a little about Robin (Dick Grayson).   With all the fics, I heavily suggest you also read what else these authors have to offer in their archive.

And now here’s the plethora of other fandoms I read fics in under the cut!

4) Harry Potter The Horse (Mature) Looking after a Muggle animal should be easy compared to saving Hogwarts from Voldemort. Harry and Draco might disagree with that. Featuring Luna, Marauders, peppermints and, of course, a tall, black, badtempered horse named Simon. The Potions Master’s Nephew An accident occurs and Professor Snape finds himself trapped in his fifteen-year-old body. Enrolled into Harry Potter’s fifth year, he is forced to hide his true identity. Girls, drama and teenage angst do not bode well with Severus. Keeping Up with the Grangers (Dramione, Mature) Mr. Malfoy, I invite you and your mother to tea next Tuesday, May 25th at 2o’clock to discuss recent events. Dr. Helen Granger //…  …// He glances at the boxy too-uniform numbers flashing on the face of Richard’s radio. It’s nearly noon, and he should be getting ready to leave; but there is still a harsh tension in his shoulders and neck that he wants to work out before Hermione finds him. It is, after all, Tuesday; and while his Tuesdays were designated ‘tea with Helen’ days previously, they are now ‘lunch with Granger’ days, ever since the chance meet-up with the Weasel’s wife and the insufferable swot herself. Faceless (Dramione, Mature) New year. New love. New threat. A powerful enemy is on the rise, and Hermione Granger finds herself intertwined in a relationship with Draco Malfoy – only she doesn’t know it’s him. / / RUNNER-UP: Enchanted Awards Summer 2017 for Best Relationship Development 

5) Devil May Cry And the Rest is Silence (Mature) The destruction of the Saviour wasn’t the end. Too many people had too much invested.  An Uncle’s Thoughts Dante’s thoughts and feelings regarding one particular quarter-demon kid. Vignettes that span from the start of Devil May Cry 4 through Devil May Cry 5, and beyond. Fortuna’s Fool Events after DMC5 with flashbacks to the events we briefly see in DMC4SE only with Vergil telling Dante all about Nero’s mother. Family ties are so complicated, aren’t they? Family of Happenstance Some orphans have happy endings, getting adopted or finding their family. Having a demon slaying half devil for a father tends to throw a tiny monkey wrench in the process. AU Father!Dante, Son!Nero. Rated because hunters don’t exactly have clean mouths.     

6) Power Rangers (Focus on Might Morphin’ and Dino Thunder teams) Of Love and Bunnies Set just after Dino Thunder. When Angel Grove announces another Power Rangers Day, Tommy takes the Dino Rangers to Angel Grove for a reunion with the original team… including Kimberly. TommyKim, JasonTrini, KiraTrent. The Reason (Part 1 of eclyptyk neo‘s Dino Thunder AU) COMPLETED. DT. AU. Years go by as Tommy Oliver becomes accustomed to his job as a teacher. A person from his past returns. The new ranger team grows interested in its outcome. How will these new changes between rangers young and old be? Sequel: Ordinary World Change of Hearts (Wild Force)   PRWF: When Jindrax and Toxica set out to find themselves, they had no idea that their greatest adventure was only beginning. Chronology Conundrum DT/MMPR - After a strange mutation is released in Reefside, the five Dino Thunder Ranges find themselves thrown back into the past, circa 1995 Angel Grove. Somehow, they have to figure out how to make it back to their present without destroying it or themselves. And if they succeed, they must navigate the consequences of their actions in the past, while still protecting Reefside. 7) Merlin (Mergana leaning) The Other Version of Events What if Merlin and Arthur had met when they were children? What if a mysterious illness fell over Ealdor and Merlin was blamed? What if Arthur had actually felt sorry for him? What if destiny was thrown at them in a whole new way? AU, no slash, Bromance, A/G M/M… You get the idea.  Flipping the Coin, Part 2 of Coins (2nd story in the Coins Sage but 1st multichapter) Merlin and Gwaine are sent on an adventure to discover their past and stay one step ahead of Morgana. Fearing for them, Arthur and the other knights set out to find them, but soon discover much more than they bargained for. Alt version Season 5. Sequel to “Two Sides of the Coin” Angst, Adventure, BAMF, Bromance, Redemption, Twists on Arthurian Legends.  The King’s Legacy “I hope you are rolling in your grave brother, I will find your son, and I hope he is like you. I will ruin him and gain a lovely weapon in the process.” Cenred spat on the grave, “I win Balinor.” .Sequel posted.  The Warlock’s Quickening (First in the Albion Cycle) Merlin might have come to Camelot to master his magic, not to end the Purge, but he’s not going to sit idly by while his kin suffer. Oh no. Whether it’s releasing a chained dragon, smuggling sorcerers out of the city, or trying to change Arthur’s mind, he’s fighting back. Now. Series rewrite beginning after 1X02 featuring Proactive!Merlin. AU. 

8) Dragon Ball Under the Radar (Gohan/Videl) Gohan is living life as a secret superhero, but Videl is making it her business to find him out! How will Gohan manage her and Saiyan hormones? Will he fess up? Or will he try to live his life -puts on sunglasses- “Under the Radar”? *applause* Thank you! Thank you! And GOODNIGHT! G/V obviously. Rated T because adult situations and language in later chapters. COMPLETE! Golden God (Mature) To save the lives of millions, Gohan is forced to expose himself as a Super Saiyan, proving that his tricks are indeed very real. And it drives the whole world to insanity. Warning; becomes a little graphic goes as it on. Walking Towards the Sunset Bardock’s curse sends him to a mysterious place where weaklings are abundant and an odd trio claim to be his family. Eventually giving in, he stays with them to discover that Earth is more unlucky than Planet Vegeta. Impatiently waiting for his son’s arrival, Bardock has to survive a new life with his estranged family and a certain girl set on finding the truth. (Saiyaman-Buu Saga) Plus One (Gohan/Videl, Mature) Tired of being pursued by the gold-digging, glory-seeking, Satan obsessed freaks of the world, Videl will resort to the only method open to a celebrity like her to find Mr. Right. 9) Sailor Moon (Mainly SenshiShitennou) The Crystal Age (Rewritten) In an alternate version of Season 1, as a result of Beryl’s curse at the end of the Silver Age, Tuxedo Mask and the reincarnated Shitennou are fighting a losing battle to save the city and find the lost princess. Sailor Moon has disappeared, Sailor V is working on her own, and the other Senshi are still just ordinary girls. Sequel to The Silver Age. MxU, SxS. Please R&R. Hooligans It’s after Galaxia and time for University. The Senshi and Mamoru settle into life in Great Britain and meet some old friends. Inner Senshi x Shitennou and Usagi x Mamoru. Modern Timeline. Strong language, crude humour, hilarity and sexual situations abound, be warned, there will be some heavy angst later on too. Never Gone R A single choice can change the course of Fate: a choice, say, like waking up on time. If that choice were made, Chiba Mamoru would never meet Tsukino Usagi; but, he WOULD meet Unami Seiya and the burden of Terra’s future would fall onto his shoulders. Never Gone AU. The Dinner Hour (Part of The Dinner Series) It can be hard to be patient in the face of eternity. But good things come to those who search and refuse to give up on their dreams. R/J. (Sequels: Dinner And Again, Dinner at Last completed!)

10) Les Miserables (Warning: Enjonine ahead) When Apollo Met Persephone (1st of the 1830s AU) The revolution, or at least the first part of it succeeds. Enjolras confronts political and personal realities. Eponine is suddenly faced with more opportunities than she ever thought. Can they guide each other in a world that needs them as much as they need it? Les Choses Qui Sont Arrivées Après “You must flee Paris at once.” Enjolras and Eponine. The thief and the leader, the marble Apollo and the dark street girl… two wholly different survivors of the Revolution are forced together under a dangerous circumstance. Can they successfully fight their demons as well as each other? Neither of them knows quite what is going on, or what will happen when they figure it out.     Teacher of Man The first time Enjolras and Éponine meet, it is their wedding day. (arranged marriage AU) My Best Friend’s Wedding Éponine Thenardiér always thought that Marius would eventually come back to her, until the wedding invitation came in the mail. Now she is going to do everything that she can to get him back from that blonde tart Cosette. Nothing goes according to plan and even her partner in crime Enjolras is becoming an obstacle. E/E. 11) Naruto Beginnings  Naruto was six years old when he met the man who changed his life. …Now he’s kind of just hoping he survives it.  An Inch of Gold (Part of the Legacy of Fire series) Team 7 is sent on a mission to investigate a disturbance outside of the village, where they encounter an unconscious girl in a crater. The mysterious Sarada insists she’s a shinobi from the Hidden Leaf trying to rescue her teammates. When the team discovers she possesses a Sharingan, things become even more unbelievable. [Part of the Legacy of Fire Series]     Guilt of Innocence Uchiha Sasuke abandoned Konoha in his persute of power to join Orochimaru. However, this was only a cover story. In fact, on Tsunade’s orders, Sasuke is to act as Konoha’s spy within Otogakure. One agreement and his path had changed forever…  Blind (SasuSaku) It was almost time, Orochimaru was going to take his body as a vessel. He hated being used…he refused to be used. With that thought, he took the kunai in his hand and slashed across his eyes.     

12) Legend of Zelda (Zelink) The Conviction to Save The princess is dead. Those are the words being whispered in the streets. A great shudder sweeps across the land of Hyrule as news of its beloved monarch’s passing spreads like wildfire. In the midst of the ensuing chaos, a humble village doctor happens upon the body of a gravely injured young woman on the road. Legend of the Miraculous (Concepts taken from Miraculous Ladybug)   A legend retold through many a tale, but when a darkness resurfaces after so long, Athena and Sheikhan Wolf must return again! Will Link and Zelda be able to combat this threat? and will they figure out each others’ identities? Come inside and take a look! Hit List AU. It all started as a typical day at Ordon High, until a sudden school shooting turns the life of Link Hero upside down. Now, surrounded by enemies, can Link save his friends and escape the school alive? (Edit 10/2015) Counting Stars Link finds himself caught in the middle of an elaborate gang war. Lucky for him, being a B-list superhero makes that predicament a tiny bit easier. / Modern AU ZeLink, inspired by Spider-Man. Under Revision! 13) Hunger Games Vox Libertas Due to things playing out a bit differently in the last few minutes of the Quell, the rescue also goes a bit differently than expected. Now Peeta has the responsibility of representing the Rebellion thrust upon him. No pressure. *AU Mockingjay. Part I of Dandelion in the Storm AU. Mainly Peeta POV.*     Someone To Watch Over Me (Everlark, 1st in the Series) A HG rewrite. What would happen if Peeta was just a little bit bolder, and Katniss a little less emotionally confused? You’d be surprised. Let the Games begin. This is an AU, but I’ve tried to stay as canon as possible. Rated T to be safe.     Enthralled (Everlark, Gadge, Mature) Thrall (þræll), n., a slave or serf in Viking Age Scandinavia. After a successful raid, Gale is rewarded with a slave girl: the Saxon noblewoman Madge. Meanwhile, shieldmaiden Katniss grows closer to captive monk Peeta. Gadge/Everlark historical AU with background Odesta and other pairings.   Katniss, Vampire Slayer (Mature) “Into every generation a slayer is born.” the man droned out slowly, quietly, in a way that made her think he was quoting something. “One girl in all the world. A chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer.” //  Haymitch mocked. “One girl in all the world. Ain’t I just lucky it had to be you.” 14) How To Train Your Dragon Becoming Lífþrasir (Hiccstrid) People often wondered what kept Hiccup going during those early years. When that single, most-treasured thing is taken from him, there is little left to keep him on Berk. The day Stoick returns, and the day before the best recruit is finally chosen, Hiccup leaves Berk; little knowing that he would one day return under … strange circumstances. H/A, R/F, rated for violence.     HTTYD Easter Special Sequel to “The Unholy Offspring,” set after the season finale. When Alvin the Treacherous threatens Asgard with a rogue demigod’s help, Hiccup and Berk’s Dragon Riders must prevent an early Ragnorak. It doesn’t help that Alvin has learned to tame dragons, and that the only god that can help Hiccup is a sullen, suspicious boy named Mud. Happy Eos week, Hiccup!     The Blacksmith’s Apprentice (Hiccstrid) AU. Hiccup never took the shot on that fateful night-and the war continued. Three years later, Berk is beset by dragon raids and hostile tribes while the boy who should have saved the island is merely the assistant in the forge. With only Astrid as his friend, fate gives Hiccup one more chance to end the war and become the hero he was meant to be. Hiccstrid. Snap (Hiccstrid, Mature) He was just supposed to fix her back, and she doubted that at first. She definitely didn’t expect to get dragged into the ethics of a girlish crush. Modern AU. 15) Star Wars Double Agent Vader The one where Vader turned double agent for the Rebellion about three years after ROTS, and Leia is now his primary contact with the Rebellion. Or,  a man attempts to escape slavery by turning into one of his culture heroes, teaching his daughter how to do magic, killing people, and flower arranging. A New History During a heated battle, Dooku escaped into the past! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker follow to stop him, but discover that Dooku went to the past where Obi-Wan is a young padawan to a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, the two must go undercover to stop Dooku’s plans from coming to fruition in order to save not only the future, but also young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. Pulse AU for ROTS. As Padme’s life hangs in the balance on Mustafar, a stream of brilliant light causes Anakin to reconsider his choices. Jedi Shmi AU Shmi leaves Tatooine with Anakin and goes to the Jedi Temple.

[dont-let-me-stop-you]

Singing superstar, American Idol breakout and The Voice coach Kelly Clarkson gets her own talk show. And, boy, does she have a lot to say!

Clarkson is still shocked that NBC crowned her the host of her very own daytime talk show. “When it was brought up to me, I was like, ‘What? No one’s going to watch!’” she says, with a self-deprecating laugh. It’s exactly that everyday charm that makes Clarkson so relatable—and so perfect as the host of The Kelly Clarkson Show (premiering Monday, September 9, at 2 p.m. ET on NBC). She calls the opportunity “a dream I never had but didn’t know I loved—and wanted!”

Clarkson, of course, is no stranger to television. The Grammy-winning songstress got her break in 2002 at the age of 20, after winning the inaugural season of American Idol. She went on to serve as a mentor on ABC’s singing competition Duets and as a bubbly coach on NBC’s The Voice, where she’ll return alongside Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani and John Legend when season 17 begins September 23.

She grew up singing in church alongside her fellow parishioners in Burleson, Texas, not realizing she had a special talent until she was asked to join the junior high choir. “I was like, ‘Nerd alert!’ And then I became a nerd!” she jokes. It was then that Clarkson realized she had a versatile range and was a natural onstage. “I was oddly comfortable. Even from the first time; I never was nervous.”

Her mother, a first-grade English teacher, wasn’t exactly thrilled that her daughter turned down college to pursue a singing career. “When I said I wanted to be a singer, she was like, ‘Well, a lot of people do,’ and she was right.” But Clarkson appreciated the nudge to perfect her craft and go after her dream, which was initially to be a backup vocalist for noteworthy acts. “On Idol, I saw so many parents lie to their children, telling them they’re awesome and should pursue it when they were so off-key,” she admits. “My mom inspired me to work extra hard.”

She now thinks of early days on Idol as “the ultimate boot camp.” With the network still figuring out the show’s concept during season one, the contenders were frequently whisked from one location to another, asked to perform songs they didn’t know minutes before taking the stage, and worked through exhaustion. “I feel like I can handle anything now!” Clarkson, 37, says confidently, which will definitely come in handy for her own show, as she will be filming The Voice and The Kelly Clarkson Show simultaneously, rushing from one NBC set to another on a golf cart. “It’s going to get a little tricky, but I think we figured it out,” she says with her signature perk and optimism.

Dream Guests Clarkson has learned a few tricks from appearing on so many talk shows herself. As her own career progressed from Idol breakout to format-spanning superstar, she found herself a guest on just about all of them, talking about how she came from a little town in Texas, went on to win TV’s biggest talent show and amass dozens of awards (including three Grammys)—as well as notch more than 25 Billboard Top 100 singles, including the No. 1 pop hits “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You),” “My Life Would Suck Without You” and “A Moment Like This.”

She’s a true talk-show fan who “grew up on Oprah,” she says. “My mom and I watched her every day after school.” She also appreciates the humor of Ellen DeGeneres—in fact, her new show will lead into The Ellen DeGeneres Show in the NBC afternoon lineup—and says she hopes to infuse elements of her talk-show idols into her own show format. She wants to provide a lighthearted escape from the day while tackling more serious topics.

Her dream guest is Oscar-winning actress Meryl Streep. “I’m a tad bit obsessed,” she says. She’d also love to wrangle some of her musical pals, like Dolly Parton and superstar country couple Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks. But Clarkson is just as excited to sit down and chat with everyday folks doing noteworthy endeavors. She’s quick to rave about a woman who runs an organization that throws birthday parties for homeless youth, whom she had on the pilot test run of her show. “I hope we bring her back!”

But music, naturally, will always be a recurring theme. “We’re opening up every show with music and highlighting artists we love,” she says, teasing that she might even join a few of her guests onstage. She also promises a mix of serious and heartwarming moments, hilarious skits and interesting guests across the board. And expect “anything and everything to happen,” whether she’s prepared for it or not.

“The thing I’ve learned from people like Jimmy [Fallon], Seth [Meyers] and Ellen is don’t plan too much because life takes hold of the show and things start happening,” she says. So Clarkson is ready to go with whatever pops up, a skill she demonstrated when hosting the 2019 Billboard Music Awards several months ago while battling appendicitis and requiring emergency surgery hours after exiting the MGM Grand Garden Arena.

The multifaceted star, who’s had hits on the pop, dance and country charts, admits she had somewhat of a déjà vu moment weeks later when she had an ovarian cyst burst seconds before going live on The Voice. “I grabbed Blake’s arm, Carson [Daly] said, ‘We’re live,’ and I thought, Oh Lord, here we go!” she recalls. Clarkson battled on and wound up back in the ER, joking that she felt horrible for making the paramedic attending to her so nervous that he had to poke her three times to find her vein for the IV.

The only thing that scares her, she says, is potentially not knowing the backstory of all of her guests ahead of time. “There’s no way I could possibly know everyone,” she says, candidly. But she’s surrounded herself with a team to keep her prepped, a lesson she learned from country superstar Reba McEntire, who she’s looked to as a mentor throughout her career (and who is her husband’s former stepmother). “She told me once, ‘You’re caring too much about too many things. You have to have people in the right spots,’” says Clarkson, who deemed the advice life-changing.

Clarkson is mostly unfiltered, which she likes to think is a positive trait. “Sometimes my husband doesn’t agree,” she jokes—and she does her best to make everyone feel comfortable on her set.

Family Affair Speaking of her husband, you won’t see Brandon Blackstock, 42, on the show—if he has anything to do with it. Clarkson admits her attempts to drag him out during the practice rounds were futile. “But I’ll probably force it somehow!” she says.

They’ve been married for almost six years. They met in 2006 when Clarkson performed on an Academy of Country Music Awards telecast and reconnected six years later at Super Bowl XLVI after Clarkson’s then-manager, Narvel Blackstock (McEntire’s ex-husband and Blackstock’s father), reintroduced them. “I found out he was single and I was like, ‘Yes, please!’” she says, recalling that he ticked all the boxes—including that he had career in the industry, meaning that he would understand her life in the limelight. The duo later learned they were, coincidentally, raised in the same small town, which further cemented their bond.

Today, Blackstock manages her, and Clarkson deems him her ultimate teammate. “We both love what we do, but we’re really good about checking out whenever we make it home from work,” she says. They spend time together every night after putting their kids to bed. “Sometimes we’ll go out or we’ll just listen to music,” she says, noting she’s “the bold one” and will often initiate a slow dance. “I’ll ask and he’s like, ‘OK!’ He’s probably just trying to get lucky!”

When she’s not at work, Clarkson prefers the quiet life and quality family time with their kids, River, 5, and Remington, 3, and Blackstock’s two children from his previous marriage, Savannah, 17, and Seth, 12, at their homes in Los Angeles and the Nashville area. “We go bowling, putt-putt, have movie nights, color together, ride little bikes in the backyard,” she says. In her physically demanding line of work, it’s also important to prioritize her health by planning quieter times, whether that’s harvesting honey from her backyard beehives or cooking with eggs from her hens. And she credits her typical happy-go-lucky persona to decades of hard work.

“I used to suffer from depression and I could easily slip back into that if I weren’t steadily paying attention to time management. With all the things that I do, I definitely need time for me,” she says. One of her favorite self-care practices includes keeping a gratitude journal. She is a sucker for a good self-help book and a big believer in surrounding herself with positive people. “Once I started weeding out [negative] people, it made a huge difference,” she says.

Another must is constantly trying new things. “I like being all over the map. I get really bored with monotony and I can’t stand to do the same thing,” she says. Clarkson enjoyed voicing the character Moxy in the animated movie UglyDolls early this year. “It was a fun challenge to hop into the [recording] booth,” she says.

Beyond her new TV series, she has her sights set on Broadway. She admits that between her current work and raising kids, it would be hard to pull off logistically. But she’s hoping to sneak in an upcoming NBC Live performance. “I want them to do White Christmas and I want to be Rosemary Clooney!” she says.

She acknowledges that she has enough on her plate for the time being, juggling multiple jobs, family and kids of all ages and stages. While her toddlers are in what she describes as a “cute stage,” which involves them adorably singing along to her vast array of tunes, her 17-year-old stepdaughter’s musical choices sometimes lead her into some interesting new parenting terrain.

“I’ll be in the car with her and I’m like, ‘What are we listening to? Do not let your father hear this,’” she says, with a laugh. “She’s a good kid, but if those hardcore lyrics ever lead to action, then stepmom is gonna take it away!” she playfully threatens.

Clarkson believes she’ll be able to handle whatever comes her way—on the new show or off. “I’m into a lot of stuff that maybe normal 37-year-olds don’t know about because of teenagers,” she says. “But then I am super into Disney because of our toddlers. I’m also a working woman and I own a business.” On The Kelly Clarkson Show, her goal will be to connect with her guests while letting her natural personality shine.

“I’m not going to try too hard to be anything. I feel like they gave me a show because they like me,” she says. “So I’m just going to lean into KC and hope it works out!”

[ramblings-of-a-gen-z-teen]

Ten Years of a Better World Part IV - A Post Kingdom of Ash Fanfic

Perranth

Elide is jolted awake by a sharp pain in her ankle. The bed shakes with the bouncing crawl of a little one climbing into her parents bed. Lorcan is awoken by a hand to the face and a quiet voice. “Oops, sorry Daddy,” Lorcan’s dark eyes cloudy with sleep open to find Mary’s dark eyes and rosy cheeks filling his vision. Even now, when he’s just awoken, Elide can already feel his power, a firm brace around her ankle. She smiles, rubbing her eyes against the pull of sleep. “Good morning, beautiful,” she says to Mary. “Good morning to you too,” Lorcan replies fluttering his eyelashes at his wife. “Da-ad. She meant me. You’re too ugly.” Mary laughs. “Och, I’m not beautiful?’ Lorcan feigns hurt, “What about my flowing locks?” He flicks his hair over his shoulder dramatically. Mary giggles grabbing his hands to stop him, “Okay, Dad. You are beautiful,” she laughs again, “But not more than me.” Lorcan howls lifting her in the air, “Your right! How could I, even with such dashing hair, be more beautiful than you, my gorgeous girl,” 

Elide’s heart swells. Her warrior husband always surprises her with his gentleness. He sheds his armour with family though it makes an appearance when with their friends. Armour really is the only way to survive around them, she supposes, especially Aelin. Lorcan’s name and title is not something the Queen will drop, not even after ten years. But even so, Lorcan is more loving and openly affectionate than she ever would have hoped when they first married. And he melted when Mary was born, he cried, he will do anything for her. Which is great, although sometimes he goes a bit too far and Elide has to be the tough parent. But even then he always backs her up at a seconds notice.

“Come on, Tiger. Let’s get some breakfast.” Lorcan says getting up. Mary bares her teeth, dark eyes glinting. She growls, the animalistic sound a low rumble in her chest, obviously inherited from Lorcan. She pounces on her father giggling as Lorcan catches her, swinging her around before falling back on the bed. “My tiger truly is a fearsome predator,” he says then promptly dies. Elide laughs. Mary certainly is a dangerous mix of both of them. Quiet but ruthless. Shy but deadly serious. Strong but… strong. She’ll lull you into a false sense of security then attack. Lorcan winks at Elide as he takes Mary out of the room. Elide winces as she drags her ankle from under the covers. The pain is near unbearable these days. Bone grinding against bone with every movement. She dreads the pain of Yrene fixing it later this month but she also dreads every movement. Every step she takes. Every morning getting out of bed. But mostly her motivation is Mary. She’s nearly five and so active. It kills Elide to not be able to play with and look after Mary as much as she wants. She feels like a bystander in her own daughter’s life. The smell of bacon draws her from her thoughts. Mary’s giggles drift from the kitchen as Elide reaches for her salve. Before she can dip her fingers into the sticky paste Lorcan appears at the door holding two plates. He places a plate of bacon, eggs and potatoes on her lap, taking the salve from her. “Now,” he says as Mary clambers onto the bed, “be careful. I don't want to have to sleep in your breakfast tonight.” Mary nods seriously as she receives her breakfast then starts digging in like the wild animal she can be. Lorcan kneels beside Elide. “Eat,” he says softly. She rolls her eyes at her fae husband. So overprotective and fussy but she loves it. Lorcan massages the soothing ointment into her ankle. It doesn’t provide much relief anymore but she will take what she can get until Yrene heals her.

The next morning is an early start. Mary is barely awake as Lorcan dresses her in her riding gear. They’ve got a full days ride to Orynth ahead of them. Elide is packing food for the trip while Lorcan tries to get some breakfast into a now dressed Mary. He patiently spoons porridge into her mouth like he had to when she was a toddler. Once everything is ready they head out to the horses. Lorcan helps Elide into the saddle and straps her ankle in. “Don’t push yourself too much, okay. We don’t have to make it there today, we could stay at Lysandra’s or Evangeline’s.” Lorcan says gently. “We’ve done it in a day before, even with Mary.” “You know that’s not what I’m worried about.” His magic pulses pointedly around her ankle. “I’ll be fine,” she smiles, “I’ll tell you if I need a break. Now you’d better strap that child in before she goes to sleep right there on the grass.” She laughs, looking fondly at their child curled up in prime napping position on the dewy grass. Lorcan scoops Mary off of the ground a sleepy smile crosses her face quickly erased by a deep yawn. By mid-morning Mary is fully awake. “Faster, Daddy! Go faster!” she giggles her raven-black hair flowing in the wind. Lorcan looks to Elide, the unspoken words clear on his face. Are you okay? She nods. Go. “Hold on, Tiger!” Their horse races ahead of Elide, Mary’s screams of delight carrying back to her on the wind. A short while later Elide catches up to where Lorcan and Mary have set up their picnic lunch. The horses drink from a small creek while they sit in the shade of a few trees. Elide rubs her aching ankle absentmindedly while she watches Mary chase the butterflies. Lorcan startles her as he slips off her shoe and sock to rub ointment onto her ankle. “Don’t push yourself,” he reminds her. She shakes her head, “I’m fine.”

Mary’s head lolls from side to side as they ride alongside the sunset. Lorcan’s magic propping her upright as she sleeps. As the sky dims they can see the lights of Orynth. Flickering firelight in the castle windows and The Lion’s Gate, imbued with Aelin’s magic, permanently shines. The Lion’s eyes glint and glisten as though in firelight. The thirteen’s statue also glows but not like flames. The statue glows bathed in bright white light, Rowan’s magic. They stop to pay their respects to the thirteen, bowing their heads for a moment. They move on stopping just short of The Lion’s Gate. Here they bow their heads again, this time to remember Gavriel before they pass over the ground he died on. Lorcan’s eyes glisten in the moonlight when he finally lifts his head again. When they move forward again the gate swings open revealing Aelin and Rowan waiting for them. Lorcan hops off the horse and gently plants Mary on his hip, careful not to wake her. “Long day?” Rowan asks in a hushed tone, nodding at Mary. Lorcan nods, “But she loved it. I think it was a longer day for Elide though.” They both glance over to where Aelin helps Elide out of her ankle straps.

“How are you?” Aelin asks as she helps Elide to the ground. “Fine, but I’ll be better when Yrene heals this rutting ankle.” Aelin nods sympathetically, “The pain must be unbearable by now.” “I suppose, but the really unbearable thing is Lorcan’s damned fussing.” They both laugh. “Damned fae bastards,” Aelin chuckles knowing full well both males can hear them.

“Here they come,” Rowan says as they wait in the stable for the girls, “Oh, I forgot to mention-“ “Lord Lorcan Lochan!” Aelin drawls, “What a pleasure to have you in our home.” “She’s been rehearsing,” Rowan finishes. Elide chuckles from behind Aelin as Lorcan’s eyes turn black and his jaw clenches. “Aelin,” he somehow manages to grind out between clenched teeth. “Lord Lochan, as lovely as it is to lay eyes on you I notice you’ve a little one in your arms. Perhaps I should layoff and later we’ll have a lark once you’ve laid this little lady down to sleep.” Aelin smirks, her eyes sparking at the muscle feathering in Lorcan’s jaw every ‘l’ sound she makes. “Lady Elide, shall we cease loitering and head inside?” Once Aelin and Elide have gone Lorcan says, “I’m about ready to kill your wife, Rowan.” From down the corridor comes Aelin’s voice, “Just try to lay hands on me Lord Lorcan Lochan. We’ll see who has the last laugh.” “Is she a heavy sleeper,” Lorcan asks menacingly. “Light as a feather,” Rowan chuckles as Lorcan groans.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

[daneeelleee]

Kismet on Aisle Three

Rated T for a few swear words

Prompt 68. Robin cuts in line at the supermarket. Regina is not having it.

@oqpromptparty

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12625375/1/OutlawQueen-Prompt-Party-2017

Milk, eggs, lip balm, the damn poster board her wonderful son needs tomorrow that he forgot to mention until this morning at breakfast. Yes. That’s it. Right? Still, it feels like something is missing. Where is that list? Ah, yes. Milk, eggs, lip balm, poster board… shit. Glue. Henry needs glue for his science project. Regina’s heels click as she turns around and marches hurriedly to the back of the supermarket. She’s cursing the layout of this store for keeping the school supplies on the back two aisles almost as much as she’s cursing the long day that kept her at the office later than usual. She really should have changed before this. These are heels made for sitting in an office, not walking on concrete floors and standing in long lines. But, her son has homework to do and a bedtime to meet, so she’ll bear the pain and before bed, she’ll have a nice, long, calm talk with her 8-year old about procrastination. Then, she’ll pour a glass of wine from this lovely cabernet sitting in the cart and throw these murderous heels in the trash. She’s already dreading waiting in line as she walks back to the front. There are never enough cashiers.

She’s almost made it to the front and is walking straight to the lit up number 3 and the cashier with the shortest line when a man comes bumbling in front of her, cutting her off. He’s not paying attention, is speaking rapidly into the phone pressed to his shoulder and dropping items on the ground from the pile haphazardly thrown in his arms. She’s so stunned by the nerve of this man, that she’s speechless for a moment, staring wide-eyed at his back as her jaw drops in indignation. She regains her voice with an irritated “excuse me” as he piles his items onto the belt and continues his phone conversation without noticing her.

She catches bit and pieces of his call, knows he’s talking to a woman named Belle. Hears the English lilt of his voice as he asks “did you try the airplane thing?” and the obvious frustration at whatever her answer must be. And really, this is ridiculous. She tries to get his attention again – Regina Mills has never been one to back down – with a louder “Excuse me!” and this time he turns around, flustered, confused, and gorgeous. Her stance falters before she takes a moment to find her composure and stare him down. She is not going to be distracted by blue eyes and a pretty face.

It’s clear she’s caught him off guard. He frowns at her a moment before quickly asking the woman on the other end of his call – probably his wife, get it together, Regina – to hold on a moment before he addresses her with a polite but perplexed “May I help you?” She takes a deep breath and sends up a prayer to whatever higher being may be listening that she doesn’t look as flushed as she feels. She’ll blame the pink that colors her cheeks on her ire rather than admit to the unexpected and sudden wave of attraction she feels for this rude stranger. With her exhale, she finds the sass she’s known for and tosses it at him with a “Yes. You can help me by getting off the damn phone and paying attention to what’s going on around you. You cut me off.” He flushes red and blinks at her in stunned silence before turning away and muttering into the phone “Belle, I’ll call you back. Tell him to hold on, daddy will be home soon.” As he speaks, she looks at the belt in front of her. Children’s ibuprofen, tissues, pedialyte, a little stuffed monkey… oh. Oh. Suddenly she knows why he was so distracted, and she feels like an ass.

As he turns around to face her again, she gets a better look at him. He looks wrecked. He has all the sure signs of an exhausted parent, from the worry lines that shadow his face to the bags under kind blue eyes. In a moment, she goes from simmering irritation to sympathy. She’s been there. The sleepless nights with a warm, fevered little body curled up next to you. The worry that comes with every temperature spike and hacking, chest-rattling cough. The absolute helpless desperation of watching your child suffer and knowing all you can do is wait. Wait and watch and do everything you can to make him comfortable. So you hover and you provide warm blankets and whispered words of love and butterfly kisses, and still your heart aches at every sniffle.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t…”

“How old is he?”

He’s barely begun to utter an apology when she cuts him off, and it’s clear she’s caught him off guard again.

When he only squints at her in confusion, she repeats herself, “Your son. How old is he?”

           He stammers for a moment, trying to figure out why the beautiful stranger before him is no longer scowling.

           “Um… four. Roland is four.”

Her eyes warm at that as a small smile grows on her face and Robin feels his heart stutter at the sight. Really, how did he not notice her before? He’s cursing his distraction as he gazes into deep brown eyes. What an excellent first impression to make. Way to go Robin, you look like an absolute git.

He worries for a moment that he said that last bit out loud as she lets out a barely audible chuckle. But as he focuses on her now instead of internally chastising himself, she speaks again and he’s lost to her velvety voice.

“Ah, I remember that age well.” She says with fondness.

And, oh. She’s a mother. Well, of course she is. It’s not likely that someone so stunning would be single. He’s sure she must have a doting husband at home currently running around after her own children.

The thought gives him pause. Why should he care so much about the relationship status of a perfect stranger? But perfect is the operative word isn’t it? He’s not sure he’s had this kind of reaction to another woman since his wife passed two years ago. But he’s enchanted. Everything about her is lovely, from the little spark of fire in her eyes that he caught a glimpse of a moment ago to her dark flowing hair that looks as soft as silk and has his hands twitching with the thought of running his fingers through it. Full lips hide straight white teeth that he catches a glimpse of as she reveals a nervous smile and shit. He’s staring at her. Snap out of it, Robin, before she thinks you’re also crazy.

The moment is broken when they both turn their heads at the sound of the cashier calling for a price check. It appears that the little old lady in front of him is going to be holding up the line for a bit. He hears the woman beside him groan and mutter something about wanting to light the lady’s coupon book on fire, and yes. He likes this woman, sass and all.

He chuckles and her eyes go wide. Caught. “I have a feeling neither of us are rushing off to our sons anytime soon.”

He deflates at that and looks dejectedly to the collection of items he’s piled onto the still unmoving belt. With one comment, their little bubble of levity has burst and she’s regretting her words instantly.

“He’ll be fine. I know it hurts to watch them hurt, but kids are resilient. You’ll be chasing after him again in no time.”

She’s not sure why she feels the need to comfort this stranger. Perhaps it’s the kindred feeling of another parent lovingly nurturing their child. Perhaps, it’s just the way his dimples melt her a little as they peek out with his weak smile. Either way, she’s glad to see his smile, even if it’s small.

“Rationally I know that. I know that the flu is only temporary” He sighs out a weary breath and looks heavenward. “I guess this is all a bit new. So much has changed lately. And this was so much easier before. My wife and I had a system. We figured it out together and now she’s gone and I’m in a new city with a child that adjusted to the move and the new daycare by getting sick for the first time in years. And of course the bloody facility didn’t call me to let me know he was poorly. So I arrived yesterday after work to a feverish and grumpy toddler that won’t eat and won’t sleep without his favorite toy that I’m fairly certain was lost in transit. I’m still living out of boxes and I’m sure my son is infecting my sister with his virus as we speak….”

He’s rambling. He knows he is. But he just can’t seem to stop. That is until she cuts him off with a soft “Hey” as she gently grasps his arm. If she’s bothered by his little outburst, she doesn’t show it, just holds on to his arm for a moment longer and looks at him with so much sympathy that he has to tell his tired brain not to cry in front of this kind stranger.

She takes a deep breath, and it reminds him to do the same. God, he’s exhausted. He’s suddenly acutely aware of what a mess he must appear to be. She’s probably counting down the minutes until she can be free of him.

She doesn’t let him stew in his embarrassment for long. She smiles gently at him and removes her hand from his arm. He misses the warmth instantly.

“Parenting alone is hard. No parent is perfect. All you can do is love them and do your best, something you’re clearly doing. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

There’s something in the way she says it. A sort of genuine understanding. But the moment is gone before he can question it as the belt holding his items suddenly moves, startling him. It appears the woman in front of him has finally finished.

He looks to her and remembers what started their conversation with a burst of embarrassment.

“Would you like to go first? I did cut in front of you, after all.”

She scoffs at the very idea, “nonsense. Your son’s medicine is more important than this.”

He begins to argue with her but she cuts him off with a glare that turns into a satisfied smirk when he rolls his eyes in amusement and gives up. She thinks she catches him mumble something along the lines of stubborn woman as he turns to greet the cashier politely. And if she happens to glance appreciatively at his form as he does, well, she’s only human.

This time, he’s the one with a smirk as she glances up to see him looking at her. And ok, that wasn’t very subtle, was it? But as her cheeks heat, he simply returns the favor as he gives her a slow once over that makes her want to squirm followed by a wink that makes her scoff and roll her eyes to hide her embarrassment.

“Don’t be so smug.”

He chuckles at that and bites that tempting bottom lip to hide his smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He’s playing at innocent, and good god almighty, this man is adorable.

Before she can answer him, the cashier is calling out his total and it appears their moment is over. He pays her and takes his few bags as he glances back at Regina. There’s a hesitation in his eyes that she feels echoed in herself. But he has a sick little boy at home and she needs to get home to Henry to cook him dinner and help him with whatever this silly poster board is set to become.

He smiles warmly at her one more time and tells her, “It was nice to meet you.” He takes a deep breath and adds a sincere “And thank you. You were really very kind to the jerk that stole your spot. I’m sorry I talked your ear off.”

She shakes her head and tells him with a smile, “Just don’t let it happen again, thief.”

His chuckle is rich and full and warms her to her toes as he tells her “Yes, ma’am.”

But still, “Don’t call me ma’am.”

“Ah yes of course, your majesty.”

He completes his ridiculous statement with a dramatic flourish of a bow, and she can’t help but to laugh.

“Better.”

He smiles at her one last time and tells her goodbye before reluctantly turning to leave.

He’s made it a whole three steps from her when she shouts “Wait!” making him turn back to her as the people behind her grumble about her holding up the line. She gathers her nerve and walks to him with all the air of confidence she can muster.

He looks at her questioningly as she pulls a card and a pen from the purse that rests over her shoulder. She jots a few things down on the back and hands it to him.

“Here. If you’re looking for a better nursery, one that will actually call you when your child is sick, Granny’s is the best in town. It’s where I took my son when he was younger. That’s her number on the back as well as my cell number. It’s a hard place to get into, but if you use my name, it’ll help. I have a bit of pull around here. And if she still won’t let Roland in, call me.”

He turns the card over to read the front. Regina Mills. Storybrooke Mayor. And well, he supposes he wasn’t all that far off when he jokingly called her your majesty. Small town royalty, it would appear.

“Regina”

He utters her name with such reverence that she can’t look away from him.

“I like it. It suits you. I’m Robin, by the way. Robin Locksley.”

Regina tamps down her blush at his compliment as she reaches for his outstretched hand and shakes it in greeting.

He holds on for a moment as warmth floods them both before he hesitantly releases her to look at the card again.

“Thank you. This means a lot.”

“It’s nothing, really.”

“It’s so much more than nothing.”

“Go. Your son is waiting.”

He sighs before he nods and thanks her again then bids his final goodbye. That night she goes to bed thinking of blue eyes and his warm voice. He falls asleep to the snores of his little man and the memory of her smile.

 Author’s Note: Hey, lovelies. Thanks for reading! This is my first fic so I hope it’s not too terrible. I haven’t written much in years. Special thanks to Clare @its-a-story-of-love for looking over this for me and convincing me to publish. I’m going to hide now. Please be gentle! :)

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

Disney Prompt List

As promised, here is the mobile version! 

Here are all of my Disney prompts (so far). If you would like to request one, please send in the movie/theme and the number you want with the pairing you want. For example, “Bucky Barnes x reader, Aladdin #3.” If you want something more specific included in it, please include that in your ask. For example, “Bucky Barnes x reader, Aladdin #3, where they both get kidnapped by Hydra)

I tried to make the prompts gender neutral(ish) but I may have missed a couple. If some of them say he/her it can be changed around when writing, so it doesn’t have to be exactly accurate to what’s written. If you have any questions or request, please let me know!

I haven’t finished all of the movies, so if you see a name crossed off it’s because I haven’t gotten to it yet. I will update as I do. But feel free to request something that isn’t finished yet if you want!

If you have any questions, or ideas for other prompts, just let me know! Happy requesting! I know there’s a lot, so send a few in, but try to mix up characters! :)

Real World Disney Adventures:

Going to Disney World/Land for the first time

Disney World/Land proposal

Person A showing person B their favorite Disney movie (pls include film)

Singing a Disney duet together (bonus points if it’s gender reversed)

DISNEY MOVIE MARATHON

Running a Disney marathon together

“How can you hate ___ ride?! It’s the best!” (pls include ride)

“You can’t make everything Mickey shaped” “WATCH ME”

Meeting your favorite character at the parks

Wearing any of the princesses’ outfits (Because they’re pretty, THAT’S WHY!)

Aladdin:

“Who disturbs my slumber?”

“You’re only in trouble if you get caught . . . I’m in trouble!”

“If I were as rich as you I could afford some manners.”

“If I do marry, I want it to be for love.”

“Well, you do kind of stand out.”

“Do you trust me?”

“That two faced son of a jackal!”

“I must have hit my head harder than I thought.”

“You ain’t never had a friend like me.”

“I can’t make anyone fall in love with anyone else.”

“Phenomenal cosmic power! Itty-bitty living space.”

“He/She’s got these eyes … and his/her hair! And his/her smile … ah”

“But you’re so old!”

“That’s something I pride myself on, I’m a excellent judge of character.”

“I am not a prize to be won!”

“Tell her/him the truth!”

“I can show you the world.”

“Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?”

“Did you think I was stupid? That I wouldn’t figure it out?”

“I’m getting kind of fond of you. Not that I want to pick out curtains or anything.”

“You’re speechless, I see. A lovely quality in a wife!”

“Read my lips and come to grips with reality.”

“I never realized how incredibly handsome you are.”

“He’s a little punch drunk.”

“You’re not gonna find another girl/guy like her/him in a million years.”

“I gotta stop pretending to be something I’m not.”

“You’re free.”

“I choose you.”

Alice in Wonderland:

“Curiouser and curiouser …”

“Oh dear, I do wish I hadn’t cried so much.”

“Never a beginning, there can never be a stop.”

“I’ve changed so many times since this morning.”

“Most everyone is mad here.”

“A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

“Something seems to be troubling you, won’t you tell us all about it?”

“Those are the things that upset me!”

“If you don’t think you shouldn’t talk.”

“I have an excellent idea! Let’s change the subject.”

“When I get home I shall write a book about this place.”

“I give myself very good advice but I very seldom follow it.”

“Do you want us both to lose our heads?”

“What do you know?” “Nothing!” “Nothing whatever?” “Nothing whatever!” “That’s very important!”

“OFF WITH THEIR HEAD!”

The Aristocats:

“You’re going to be as beautiful as your mother/father.”

“Females never fight fair.”

“Ladies don’t start fights, but they can finish them.”

“How romantic!!”

“Haven’t we met before?” “And I’m so glad that we did.”

“I’m not exactly her/his husband/wife.” “Well either you are or you aren’t.” “Alright, I’m not.”

“And when we needed you, you were right there.”

“Well I guess you know best, but I’m gonna miss you baby.”

Atlantis: The Lost Empire:

“How did you get in here?” “I came down the chimney, ho, ho, HO!”

“Excuse me, you drop your, um, dynamite.”

“I used to take lunch money from guys like this.”

“I swim pretty girl, um, pretty good.”

“I know! Why don’t you translate, and I’ll wave the gun around!”

“Come on, we better make sure they don’t hurt themselves.”

“Do you have any suggestions?” “Yeah, don’t get shot!”

“I have to hand it to you, you’re a bigger pain in the neck than I thought possible.”

Bambi:

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

“You can call me a flower if you want to.”

“You’re a little wobbly, aren’t you?“

“Faster! Don’t look back! Keep running!”

“They’re twitterpated.”

“Well it’s not going to happen to me.” (About falling in love)

“______ ought to be proud.”

Beauty and the Beast:

“For who could ever learn to love a beast?”

“But you’ve read it twice!” “Well it’s my favorite…” (include fave book)

“If you like it all that much it’s yours!”

“No beast alive stands a chance against you, and no girl for that matter.”

“I’m making plans to woo and marry _____.”

“YOU MUST CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!”

“Flabby, fat, and lazy then you walked in and oopsie daisy!”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

“I want to do something for her. But what?” “Well there’s the usual, flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep…”

PERSON A GIVING PERSON B AN ACTUAL LIBRARY

“Perhaps there’s something there that wasn’t there before.”

“You look so, so...” “Stupid.”

Person A reading person B their favorite story

“Take it with you. So you’ll always have a way to look back and remember me.”

“I let her go.” “Why?” “Because I love her.”

“He’s no monster, _____, you are!”

“Did you honestly think she’d want you, when she had someone like me?!”

“At least I got to see you one last time.”

“Please, please, please don’t leave me. I love you.”

Beauty and the Beast (2017):

“It’s about two lovers in fair Verona.” “Sounds boring.”

“You’re so … athletically inclined.”

“It’s never gonna happen, ladies.”

“Wonderful book you’ve got there.” “Have you read it?” “No, but … books.”

“It’s the ones who play hard to get that are always the sweetest prey.”

“Please just tell me one more thing about them.”

“We could never make each other happy.”

“Everything I am is because of you.”

“I will never marry you, ________.”

“I’ve found that most troubles seem less troubling after a bracing cup of tea.”

“You really want to marry into this family?”

“ Not until my whole life is done will I ever leave you.”

“Days in the sun will return, we must believe as lovers do, that days in the sun will come shining through.”

“Was that a joke? Are you making jokes now?”

“You’re too good for her/him, anyway!”

“I am not a beast.”

“How would you feel about growing a beard?”

Big Hero 6:

“Nothing! No ideas! Useless, washed up brain!”

“Stop whining. Woman up!”

“My family! I love my family!”

“I am not fast.”

“He/She/They should have lived a long life.”

“Why are you stopped?” “The light’s red!” “There are no red lights in a car chase!”

“My brain hates my eyes for seeing this.”

“He/She went in there to save you.” “That was his/her mistake.”

“This is not what _______ would have wanted.”

“I’m not giving up on you. You don’t understand this yet, but people need you.”

The Black Cauldron:

“That black-hearted devil!”

“I know you want your breakfast, but right now thinking is important!”

“I’m not afraid of _____.” “Then you are a fool.”

“What are you doing here?” “I came back to be your friend.”

“Why do you have to judge every word I say?”

“Oh good you’re safe!” “Well of course-”

“How dare you take his/her side!”

“You love struck witch!”

“I’ll never forgive you for this. Never!”

“You have lots of friends. I don’t have any.”

Someone forcing Person A and Person B to (finally) kiss. (Gurgi inspired prompt.)

Bolt:

“It’s alright tough guy, you got them all.”

“I wanna take him/her home this weekend.”

“You’re a degenerate creature of darkness.” “Yeah, granted.”

“I eat danger for breakfast.” “Are you hungry?” “Starving.”

“I swear, it’s like I work with toddlers.”

Brave:

“No weapons on the table!”

Having people compete in games for your hand in marriage. You decide to compete for yourself. (AKA Brave AU)

“It’s marriage, it’s not the end of the world!”

“Are you willing to pay the price your freedom costs?”

“I’ll always be right here.”

“There’s no one to blame but me. I know now that I need to mend my mistake.”

“Let them win his/her heart, before they win his/her hand.”

“I did this to you, to us.”

“You have always been there for me. You’ve never given up on me.”

“Our fate lives in us, you only have to be brave enough to see it.”

Brother Bear:

“One thing always changes into another.”

“Come here, loverboy.”

*Person A wakes up* Person B: ���So you’ve decided to join the living.”

*Arguing* “Big nose! …sorry.” “You went too far that time.”

“How about no? No talking.” “Okay, then I’ll sing!”

“Wake up!” “Two more months, mom.”

Faking a Canadian accent and adding “eh” to the end of everything

“This year, I lost ___” “Quit telling everyone I’m dead!” “Sometimes I can still hear their voice…”

A Bug’s Life:

“You’re weird, but I like you.”

“If I hadn’t promised not to kill you, I would have killed you.” “Believe me, no one appreciates that more than me.”

"I only got 24 hours to live, and I’m not gonna waste it here!“

“The circus! The circus! I love the circus!”

“Come on, you can rub lotion on me later.”

Cars:

“I eat losers for breakfast - breakfast, maybe I should have had breakfast.”

“That’s really embarrassing, but I wouldn’t worry about it - cause I didn’t do it! Hah!”

“I haven’t gone this fast in years. I’m gonna blow a gasket or something.”

“I create feelings in others that even they don’t understand.”

“Oh _____’s just a little bit shy, and hates you for killing their flowers.”

“Even here in Hillbilly Hell we have standards.”

“You’re in love with _____! You’re in love with _____! You love them! You love them! You love them!”

“I knew it! I knew I made a good choice!” “In what?” “My best friend.”

“They quit on me.”

“Best for everyone? Or best for you?”

“I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

Cinderella:

“Just learn to like cats.”

“Hmm, there must be something good about them.”

“And I’m so eligible!”

“Even miracles take a little time.”

“Don’t you think my dress-” “Yes it’s very- Good Heavens, child!”

“The young prince bowing to the assembly. Suddenly, he stops. He looks up. For lo… there she stands. The girl of his dreams. Who she is or whence she came, he knows not, nor does he care, for his heart tells him that here, here is the maid predestined to be his bride.”

“So this is love? This is what makes life divine.”

Having to leave at midnight, and not being able to tell the other how they felt ( AKA Cinderella AU)

Person A leaving behind _____ and person B trying to get in back to them (AKA the Cinderella Story AU)

Cinderella (2015):

“When I am king, you shall be queen.”

“Have courage and be kind.”

“Where there is kindness there is goodness, and where there is goodness, there is magic.”

“I must go very soon, my love. Will you forgive me?” “Of course I forgive you.”

“If you’re worried about telling me, you mustn’t be, if it will lead to your happiness.”

“I’m not alone, I’m with you.”

“Just because it’s what done, doesn’t mean it should be done.”

“I shall trick him/her into loving me!”

“They’re all looking at you.” “Believe me, they’re all looking at you.”

“Surely you have a right to your own heart.”

“I have never shown this place to anyone.” “A secret garden!”

“This is perhaps the greatest risk any of us will ever take - to be seen as we truly are.”

“Are you ready?” “For anything, as long as it’s with you.”

Dinosaur:

Dumbo:

“You better look out for Mr. Stork.”

“There they go without a friend in the world.”

“You like to pick on little guys, why don’t you pick on me!”

“Baby mine, don’t you cry.”

“Rest your head, close to my heart.”

The Emperor’s New Groove:

“You threw off my groove!”

“Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes, yikes, yikes. And let me guess, you have a great personality.”

“What’s he babbling about? He’s like that thing that wouldn’t shut up.”

“It is no concern of mine whether your family has… what was it again?” “Uh, food.”

“No touchy!”

“I’ll turn him into a flea, and then put him in a box, and then put that box in another box. Then I’ll mail it to myself and CRUSH HIM.”

“Oh right, the poison. The poison for _____. The poison chosen especially for ____. _____’s poison.”

“This story is about me, not him.”

“Maybe I’m new to this rescuing thing, but this to me, seems like a step backwards.”

After CPR, “For the last time, it was not a kiss!”

“Thanks, my wife made it.” “She knits?” “No, crochets.” “Nice!”

“Come on, ______, no one lives forever.”

Enchanted:

“I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss.”

“Lips are the only thing that touch.”

“We shall be married in the morning!”

Having to walk around New York in your giant wedding gown. (It’s raining, too.)

“Is this a big habit of yours, falling off stuff?”

“I wish you every happiness.”

“How does she/he know you love her/him?”

“I knew it was you.”

“Over my dead body.” “Alright, I’m flexible.”

“I guess that makes you the damsel in distress, huh, handsome?”

Finding Dory:

“Would you ever forget me?”

“The only reason to travel in the first place, is so you never have to travel again.”

“Please help me find my family.”

“Off! Off! Off!”

“‘I’m fine, how are you?’ ‘I’m fine, too!’ New’s flash, no one’s fine!”

“Caution, joker at work!”

CUDDLE PARTY!

“______, ______, ______, don’t you dare be sorry!”

“Suck it, bipeds!”

“I’m gonna ask you to do something crazy!” “I’m okay with crazy.”

Finding Nemo:

“Shh, you’re gonna wake the kids.”

“You think you can do these things, but you just can’t!”

“He/She touched the butt.”

“Can you help me?” “No, you got yourself in there, you can get yourself out.”

“We want you in our club, kid.”

“You mean you don’t like me?” “No, it’s because I like you that I don’t want to be with you.”

“Just keep swimming.”

“Next stop, knowledge!”

The Fox and the Hound:

“I’m not going to be so lonesome anymore.”

“I just can’t stay angry with you, you little imp.”

“We’ll always be friends forever.”

“Why you blasted female!”

“Watch it, it’s loaded!” *shoots up at the sky* “Now it’s not loaded!”

“I just wanted to say goodbye to ______, but I’m too late.”

“Forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things.”

“Yet from your sadness our happiness grew.”

“Goodbye may seem forever, farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory, and there you’ll always be.”

“After last night nothing looks beautiful.” *Looks at Person A* “Wow!”

“There’s something really familiar about those eyes.”

Frozen:

“Go to sleep.” “I can’t. The sky’s awake, so I’m awake!”

“Cuties! I’m gonna keep you!”

“I’m right out here for you. Just let me in. We only have each other.”

“Don’t know if I’m elated or gassy, but I’m somewhere in that zone.”

“I can’t wait to meet everyone! GASP! What if I meet the one?”

“This is awkward. Not you’re awkward, but just cause we’re- I’m awkward, you’re gorgeous. Wait what?”

“You look beautiful.” “Thank you, you look beautifuller!”

“If you swoon, let me know! I’ll catch you!”

“Your physique helps I’m sure!”

Sock sliding through a place you shouldn’t (A la Hans and Anna)

“Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?” “Can I say something even crazier? Yes!”

“Oh, look at that. I’ve been impaled.”

“Catch! *jumps into arms* Thanks, that was like a crazy trust exercise!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, feisty pants, just calm down!”

“You tell me when, I’m ready, I was born ready!” “Calm down, crazy.”

“Well that happened.”

“Do me a favor, grab my butt.”

“Does it look bad?” “… No” “You hesitated.”

“Because I love you ____, I insist you run!”

THEY’RE JUST A BIT OF A FIXER UPPER

“Let’s go kiss ____! Who is this ____?!”

“Don’t you see? I can’t.”

“Oh, ____ if only there was someone who loved you.”

“Some people are worth melting for.”

“I don’t even know what love is.” “That’s okay, I do.”

Person A dragging Person B around with a blindfold on, and running them into a pole.

“I could kiss you! I could, I mean I’d like to. I’d- May I? We me? May we? Wait what?”

The Good Dinosaur:

“You’re a papa.” “And you’re a momma.”

“Sometimes you gotta get through your fear to see the beauty on the other side.”

“I’m not like you.” “You’re me and more.”

“If you’re not scared, you aren’t alive.”

“You’re alive? I can’t believe it! It’s you!”

A Goofy Movie:

“What if the neighbors see us?”

“Well I was sorta, kinda thinking, that I’d love to.”

“I told you men are easy to deal with.”

“Getting there is half the fun.”

“Deal.” *Reaches out hand to shake on it, other person kisses you*

The Great Mouse Detective:

“You made this just for me?”

“I won’t be a part of this evil any longer!”

“I would spend many a sleepless nights if something unfortunate were to befall her/him/them.”

“There’s always a chance as long as one can think.”

“You have been hanging upside down too long.”

“You delightful little maniac.”

“I feel utterly ridiculous.” “Don’t be absurd you look perfect.”

“No one could have a higher opinion of you than I do, and I think you’re a slimy, contemptible sewer rat.”

Hercules:

“I’m a damsel, I’m in distress, I can handle it. Have a nice day”

“So did they give you a name with all of those rippling pectorals?”

“Memo to me: maim you after my meeting.”

“You’ve gotta admit, that was pretty heroic.”

“It’s alright, the sea of raging hormones has ebbed.”

“When I’m with you, I don’t feel so alone.”

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone, no one can hurt you.”

“At least out loud I won’t say I’m in love.”

“He would never do anything to hurt me.” “He’s a guy!”

Person A is Person B’s only weakness

“If you face him, you’ll die.” “There are worse things.”

“People do crazy things when they’re in love.”

“Are you always this articulate?”

“A true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.”

“A life without _____, even an immortal life, would be empty.”

Home on the Range:

“Yeah, they’re real. Quit staring!”

“You go before I start using words no proper person should ever use.”

“You know how I get about overly emotional displays.”

“You were sleep fighting again.”

“I’m old, but I’m not that old.”

“Don’t embarrass me in front of my partner.”

“Do you ride him/her/them on odd days or even?”

“Stay with me and you may begin to like the other side of the law.”

“You wanna get nuts? Let’s get nuts.”

The Hunchback of Notre Dame:

“As your friends and guardians, we insist you attend the festival.”

“Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.”

“Look at that disgusting display.” “Yes, sir!”

“You speak of justice, yet you are cruel to those most in need of your help.”

“The only fool I see is you!”

“1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9- So there’s ten of you and one of me. What’s a poor girl to do?”

“What a woman!”

“You son of a-” “Careful, we’re in a church.”

“Are you always this charming or am I just lucky?”

“You fight almost as well as a man.” “Funny, I was gonna say the same thing about you.”

“What do they have against people who are different anyway?”

“I ask for love I can’t possess.”

“He/She’s gotta love a guy/girl like you.”

“You’re either the craziest person I’ve ever met, or the bravest.”

“Why is it when we meet I always end up bleeding?”

“You’re lucky, that arrow almost pierced your heart.” “I’m not sure it didn’t.”

“You’ve got a funny way of showing gratitude.”

“She’s got her knight in shining armor, and it’s not me.”

“What makes a monster, and what makes a man?”

The Incredibles:

“Girl, I don’t even wanna know about your mild mannered alter ego, or anything like that.”

“Sometimes I think I’d just like a simple life. You know, relax a little and start a family.”

Fighting crime literally right before your wedding.

“Shut up, you little insect!”

“It’s okay kids, we’re just having a discussion.” “A pretty loud discussion.”

“I never look back, darling, it distracts from the now.”

“NO CAPES!”

“You can’t count on anybody, especially your heroes.”

“Yes, mom/dad, I’m completely stupid.”

“We’re dead! We’re dead! We survived but we’re dead.”

“Get a grip or I will ground you for a month!”

“When the time comes, you’ll know what to do. It’s in your blood.”

“Next time you gamble, bet your own life.”

“Mom and Dad’s lives could be in danger, or worse, their marriage.”

“Let go of me! Let go, you lousy, lying, unfaithful creep!”

“Don’t touch my sister/brother!”

“You married _____ and got busy!”

“Greater good? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”

“I can’t lose you again!”

“I like movies, I’ll buy the popcorn.”

Inside Out:

“What did we do to deserve you?”

“When I’m through, the other people will look at their own outfits and barf.”

“You could get lost in there.” “Think positive!” “I’m positive you will get lost in there!”

“I’m too sad to walk, just give me a few hours.”

“I would die for ______.”

“I just wanted Person A to be happy.”

“Take her/him/them to the moon for me.”

“I miss home.”

The Jungle Book:

Lady and the Tramp:

Getting a literal puppy for Christmas!!! (Lady and the Tramp AU)

“Just for tonight.”

“I don’t imagine anything could take their place in our hearts.”

“Homewreckers! That’s what they are!” [Talking about babies]

“Hey, pidge, what are you doing on this side of the tracks?”

“Dogs don’t talk!” “He’s talking to me.” “Okay, he’s talking to you.”

“You’re too nice a girl to be in this place.”

“They’ve got their mothers eyes.” “But there’s a little bit of their father in them, too.”

Lilo and Stitch:

“Leave me alone to die.”

“Did you ever kill anyone?” “We’re getting off the subject.”

Practical Voodoo aka “My friends need to be punished.”

“People treat me different.” “They just don’t know what to say.”

“You rotten _____, your butt is crushing me!”

“I’m sorry I bit you, and pulled your hair, and punched your face.”

“This is your badness level. It’s unusual high for someone your size.”

“_____ is troubled. They need desserts!”

“She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know, I read her diary.” “She thinks it’s fancy?”

“Be careful of the little angel!”

“I can’t sleep with him loose in the house.” “You’re loose in the house all the time and I sleep just fine!”

“Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten”

“Wanna listen to the king? You look like an Elvis fan.”

Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride (AKA learning how to surf)

“I’ll remember you though. I remember everyone who leaves.”

“I owe you one.” “That’s okay, you can just date me and we’ll call it even.”

“You’re vile! You’re foul! You’re flawed!” “Also cute and fluffy!”

“This is my family, I found all on my own. It’s little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”

The Lion King:

“What am I going to do with ___?” “They’d make a very handsome throw rug.”

“Before sunrise, he’s/she’s your son/daughter.”

“Forgive me for not leaping for joy. Bad back, you know.”

“Pinned ya!” “Pinned ya, again!”

“Danger? Ha! I laugh in the face of danger!”

“You’re not scared of anything.” “I was today. I was scared of losing you.”

“Cause no one messes with your mom/dad!”

“Oh, it’s just you. We were afraid it was someone important!”

“I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“Come on, you gotta get up. We gotta go home.”

“Look at him! He’s so cute and all alone! Can we keep him?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” “Good, we don’t wanna hear about it!”

“Lie down before you hurt yourself.”

“When the world turns it back on you, you turn your back on the world.”

“What else matters? You’re alive!”

“You said you’d always be there for me! You’re not, and it’s all because of me.”

“He/She/They lives in you.”

“Remember who you are.”

“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.”

“The King/Queen has returned!”

“I finally got the sense knocked into me. And I’ve got the bump to prove it.”

The Little Mermaid:

Person A: “Salty sea hair, wind in your face, perfect day to be at sea.” Person B: *vomiting* “yes, perfect.”

“Shark! Shark! We’re gonna die!”

“You’ve got an aesthetically pleasing configuration of hair.”

“And now look at me, wasted away to practically nothing.”

“Teenagers. They think they know everything. You give them an inch, and they walk all over you.”

Person A saving Person B from a ship wreck, and then Person A can’t find Person B again (AKA The Little Mermaid AU)

“Oh, you really delight in these sadistic strains on my blood pressure don’t you?”

“She’s out there somewhere, I just haven’t found her yet.”

“Run away with you? This is all so sudden!”

“Daddy, I love him!”

“Just imagine. You and your prince, together forever.”

“Don’t underestimate the importance of body language!”

“I lost my voice and I’m trying to tell you that I love you” (AKA The Little Mermaid AU #2)

“This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most embarrassing day of my life.”

“You gotta bat your eyes like this, you gotta pucker your lips like this.”

“You are hopeless, child. You know that? Completely hopeless.”

Wearing any of Ariel’s clothing. (BECAUSE IT’S PRETTY THAT’S WHY)

*horrible singing* “Someone should find that animal and put it out of its misery”

“Yes, you want her. Look at her you know you do.”

“What a lovely little bride I’ll make, my dear I’ll look divine.”

“Have I ever been wrong? I mean when it’s important?”

“I lost her once, I’m not gonna lose her again.”

“You’ve got to get away from here.” “No, I won’t leave you.”

“Then I guess there’s just one problem left.” “What’s that?” “How much I’m going to miss ___”

Mary Poppins:

“I feel what’s to happen, all happened before.”

“Though we enjoy men individually, we can agree taht in a group they’re rather stupid.”

“Well it’s not exactly Buckingham Palace, still, it’s clean.”

“Practically perfect in every way.”

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.”

“You never think of pressing your advance.”

“A lady needn’t fear when you are here.”

“Anything for you, _______, you’re our favorite person.”

“Faster, my beauty, faster.”

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

“People who get their feet wet must learn to take their medicine.”

“I say there’s nothing like a good joke.” “And that was nothing like a good joke.”

“First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear, I never explain anything.”

Meet the Robinsons:

“That’s what happens when you have a science geek for a roommate.”

“Knock ‘em dead! That was a figure of speech, please don’t kill anyone.”

“Go show them how special you are!”

“I propose a toast to _____ and his/her failure. May it lead to success in the future.”

“It’s bee a long hard day of turmoil and dinosaur fights.”

“Yes, thank you, we’ve established that.”

“Let’s see, take responsibility for my life or blame you? Let’s see, blame you wins!”

“I hate to foil your evil plan and run, but, ta ta!”

“You just focused on the bad stuff, when all you had to do was let go of the past and keep moving forward.”

“I’m always right. Even when I’m wrong I’m right.”

Moana:

“____, that voice inside is who you are.”

“He/She couldn’t save ______, he/she’s hoping to save you.”

“Every turn I take, every trail I track, every path I take, every road leads back, to the place I know where I can not go. Where I long to be.”

“I can’t leave you.” “There is no place you can go that I won’t be with you.”

“I know it’s a lot, the hair, the bod.”

“I could watch that all day.”

“If you wear a dress, and have an animal sidekick, you are a princess.”

“That is literally the nicest thing you have ever said to me.”

“I’m not killing myself so you can prove you’re something you’re not.”

“The call isn’t out there at all, it’s inside me.”

“I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me that come what may, I know the way.”

“This is not who you are. You know who you are.”

“It suits you.”

Monsters Inc.:

“Hey genius, wanna know why I bought the car?” “Not really.” “To drive it.” “Come on, you could use the exercise.”

“I’m so romantic, some times I think I should just marry myself.”

“I’m watching you, ______, always watching!”

“It’s my professional opinion that now is the time to panic!”

“Actually, uh, that’s my cousin’s sister’s daughter.”

“Put that thing back where it came from or so help me-”

“First of all it’s cretin, if you’re gonna threaten me do it correctly.”

Calling each other ‘googlie bear’ and schmootsie-poo’

Monsters University:

“Woo-hoo the hot coco train is coming through! Next stop, you!”

Sleep talking: “I know you’re a princess and I’m just a stable boy-”

“I can’t go back to jail!”

“I know how you feel.” “Don’t do that! Please don’t do that! You do not know how I feel!”

Mulan:

“Bring my family honor and glory.”

“This is your chance to prove yourself.”

“I will never pass for a perfect bride/groom.”

“If I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.”

“Do I look like a sucker to you? What do you mean a loser?!”

“We have to work on your people skills.”

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!”

“My little baby, off to destroy people.”

“Why was I a fool in school for cutting gym?”

“I never want to see a naked man again.”

“A girl/boy/person worth fighting for.”

“You can guess what we have missed the most, since we went off to war!”

“Stand aside, that creature is not worth protecting!”

“She’s a woman, she’ll never be worth anything!” “You pompous-”

“You don’t meet a girl like that every dynasty.”

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” “Would you like to stay forever?”

The Nightmare Before Christmas:

“Great _______, everyone.” “Yes, it was absolutely horrible.”

“You’re a witch’s fondest dream!”

“Something’s up with ____. Don’t know if we’ll ever get him/her/them back.”

“This year, Christmas will be OURS!”

“The job I have for you is top secret. It requires craft, cunning, mischief.” “And I though you didn’t like me.”

“And leave that no good (Person A) out of it!”

“You don’t look like yourself. Not at all.”

“Well, well, well, what have we here?”

“Oh, brother, you’re something! You put me in a spin!”

“I’m ______ and you ain’t going nowhere.”

“There’s something in the wind that feels like tragedy’s at hand.”

“And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it’s not to be.”

“And will we ever end up together? No I think not. It’s never to become for I am not the one.”

“Are you a gambling man? Let’s play!”

“I’d listen to her! She’s the only one who makes sense around this insane asylum!”

“We’re simply meant to be.”

Oliver & Company:

One Hundred and One Dalmatians:

“Our dogs just ran after each other and now we’re tangled together and wow you have nice eyes and shoot now we’re in a river” (AKA the cutest story ever)

“How are you?” “Miserable as usual. Perfectly wretched.”

“Oh, _____, you are an idiot!” (With love)

“She/He’s even greater than dad/mom!” “No one’s better than dad/mom.”

“I’m so hungry I could eat a whole elephant.”

“They say the old place is haunted or bewitched.”

“We’ll have a dalmatian plantation”

Peter Pan:

“Poor ______!” “Poor ______?!?”

“And sooner or later, people have to grow up.”

“But I don’t want to grow up!”

“Girls talk too much!”

“Second star to the right and straight on till morning.”

“When there’s a smile in your heart, there’s no better time to start.”

“Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza. Not in good form!”

“You’re banished forever!” “Oh please not forever!” “Fine, then a week.”

“You dare to come near me again-”

“We were only trying to drown her.”

“This ain’t no place for a respectable pirate.”

“A jealous female can be tricked into anything.”

“Your mother and mine.”

“I wanna see my mother/father.”

“Don’t you understand you mean more to me than anything in this whole world.”

“I have the strangest feeling I’ve seen that ship before.”

Pinocchio:

“When you wish upon a star your dreams come true.”

“Always let your conscience be your guide.”

“I’ve got no strings to pull me down.”

“What does an actor need with a conscience anyway?”

“It will take a miracle to get us out of here.”

“A vacation on pleasure island.”

“Being bad’s a lot of fun, ain’t it?”

“What does he think I look like, a jackass?”

“Why are you crying?” “Because you’re dead.” “No I’m not.”

Pocahontas:

“I’m not about to let you boys have all the fun.”

“Man overboard!” *Falls into the ocean* “Hang on, ______, I got you.”

“I’ve seen hundreds of new worlds, what could possibly be different about this one?”

“Seeing you gives me great joy.”

“But he/she’s so … serious.”

“Should I choose the smoothest course? Should I marry _____? Is all my dreaming at an end?”

“What is my path? How am I ever going to find it?”

“He/She has a good soul, and handsome, too!” “Oh I like her/him.”

“I shouldn’t be seeing him/her again. I mean I want to see him/her again.” “Who wouldn’t? I want to see him/her again.”

“I could have killed you.” “Not like that you won’t, keep both eyes open.”

“I lied for you once, don’t ask me to do it again.”

“_______, please, you’re my best friend, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You killed him/her.”

“I’ve gotten out of worse scrapes than this. Can’t think of any right now, but-”

“It would have been better if we never met. None of this would have happened.“ ”_____, look at me. I’d rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years never knowing you.”

“I can’t leave you.” “You never will. No mater what happens to me, you’ll always be with me. Forever.”

“Please don’t let it be too late.”

POOH

The Princess and the Frog:

“We’re all going out dancing tonight. Care to join us?”

“Well keep ‘em coming until I pass out.”

“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

“There’s been trials and tribulations, you know I’ve had my share.”

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” “What a coincidence, I have been avoiding you everywhere!”

“For someone who cannot see their feet, you’re very light on them.”

“You do have a soul, don’t you, _______?”

“When a woman says later, she really means not ever.”

“There are plenty of young ladies waiting for you to waltz them into a stupor.”

“Aren’t you just as pretty as a magnolia in May.”

“I reckon you want a kiss?” “Kissing would be nice, yes.”

“You know, if you’re going to let everything bother you, it’s going to be a very long night!”

“Do not kiss her/him.”

“Life is short, when you’re done you’re done. We’re on this earth to have some fun.”

“We’re going to have ourselves a Mardi Gras wedding!”

“Ooh, girl, I guess you and your boyfriend got a little carried away!”

“I’ve never danced.” (AKA I’ll teach you how to dance.)

“I will do whatever it takes to make your dreams come true, because I love you.”

“You minced.” “I did!”

“I admit it was a charmed life until the day my parents cut me off. And suddenly I realized, I don’t know how to do anything.”

“I have been with thousands of women…. No. Like two, three, just other women.”

“My dream wouldn’t be complete without you in it.”

“You just kissed yourself a princess!” “And, I’m about to do it again!”

Ratatouille:

The Rescuers:

“Rescue me.”

“I just can’t believe that _______ would run away.”

“Someone’s waiting for you.”

“I can go by myself, thank you!”

“He/She’s utterly mad!”

“_______ comes with me. I’m quite attached to him/her.”

Robin Hood:

“Oh she/he’s so handsome, just like her/his reward posters.”

“I’m scared of ___, he’s cranky.”

“An outlaw for an in-law.”

“Hey remember me, we were kids together. Will you marry me?”

“Be gone, long one!”

“My dear emotional lady why should I?” “Because I love him.”

“_____, my darling, I love you more than life itself.”

Sleeping Beauty:

“We’ve met before” “We have?” “Yes, once upon a dream.”

Person A waking person B from a sleep/coma/etc by kissing them

“She’s in love.” “Oh no this is terrible.”

“It looks awful.” “That’s because it’s on you dear.”

“They say if you dream a thing more than once, it’s sure to come true.”

“Why doesn’t your daughter like my son?!”

“You think you could defeat me? Me?! The mistress of all evil!”

“I just love happy endings!”

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs:

“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”

“One love that has possessed me.”

“Just whistle while you work.”

“She/he’s beautiful! Just like an angel.”

“Someday my prince/princess will come.”

“We’ll be happy forever, I know.”

“You’ll sleep in my bed.”

“Why, ____, you do care!”

“Yes. One bite and all your dreams will come true.” (AKA the poison apple au)

The Sword in the Stone:

“No one could decide who was rightful heir to the throne.”

“Everybody’s got problems. The world is full of problems.”

“Just because you can’t understand something, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

“Out smart the big brute!”

“You see I’m an ugly, horrible, grouchy old man!”

“That love business is a powerful thing.”

“They might even make a motion picture about you.”

Tangled:

“This is the story of how I died …”

“Flower gleam and glow . . .” (AKA magic hair AU)

“That’s the funny thing about birthdays, they’re kind of an annual thing.”

“I can’t believe that after all we’ve been through you can’t trust me.”

“I know why you’re here and I’m not afraid of you.”

“I know not who you are, or how I came to find you, but can I just say, hi!”

“I have made the decision to trust you.” “A horrible decision really.”

“Here comes the smolder.”

“I can’t believe I did this! I can’t believe I did this.”

“Best day ever!”

“Give me back my guy!”

“Who’s that?” “They don’t like me.” “Who’s that?” “They don’t like me either.” “Who’s that?” “Let’s just assume that everyone here doesn’t like me.”

“A fake reputation is all a man has.”

“I think he/she likes me.”

“If he’s such a dreamboat, put him to the test.”

“Are you tired from chasing the bad man all day?”

“All at once, everything looks different, know that I see you.”

“Where will you go? He/She/They won’t be there for you.”

“Frying pans! Who knew, right?”

“If you let me save him/her/them, I will go with you.”

“I can’t let you do this.” “I can’t let you die.”

“You were my new dream.”

“Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine.”

“Did I ever tell you I’ve got a thing for (hair color)s?”

“After years and years of asking and asking, I finally said yes.” “Okay, I asked her.”

Tarzan:

“You’ll be in my heart always. Always.”

“Are you sure this water is sanitary? It looks questionable to me.”

“He’s alive! He’s alive- You idiot! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

*About to scare person A* “Don’t even think about it.”

“It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.”

“Person A has to stay with Person B. Person A, stay.”

“No matter where I go, you will always be my _____.”

“I’ve had it with you and your emotional constipation!”

“You came back?” “I came home.”

*Jumping off a boat and then running into the arms of the other person to tackle them in the water*

Toy Story:

“You’ve got a friend in me.”

“Howdy, little lady.”

“Go on without me. Just go!”

“There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.”

“The word I’m searching for I can’t say because there are preschool toys around.”

“That wasn’t flying, that was falling with style.”

“This is the perfect time to panic!”

“To infinity, and beyond!”

“There’s gotta be a less painful way to get my attention.”

Toy Story 2:

“I’m sorry, but toys don’t last forever.”

“Aww, _____, you’re worth more than that.”

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going, God-spilla.”

“It’s you! It’s you! It is you!” “Please stop saying that.”

“Why the prodigal son has returned.”

“This is for _____ when you find them.” *kisses cheek* “Alright, but I don’t think it will mean the same coming from me.”

“Don’t think just because you’re a girl that I’ll go easy on  you!”

“When he/she loved me …”

“None of them will ever love you the way I do.”

“Hey! No one does that to my friend!”

Toy Story 3:

“Reach for the sky!”

“He/She held me, they actually held me!”

“It’s the perfect time to be hysterical!”

“First thing you’ve gotta know about me, I’m a hugger.”

“I’m sorry, _______, they broke me.”

“You would not believe what I have been through tonight.”

“I wish I could always be with you.” “You will be.”

“So long, partner.”

Treasure Planet:

“They’re so adorable at that age.” “Ah yes, deplorable - ahem adorable.”

“You know what they say, familiarity breeds contempt, uh well but in this case-”

*After showering compliments* “Oh shut up, you know I don’t mean a word of it.”

“You give up a few things chasing a dream.”

“That’s more fun than I ever want to have again.”

“You have wonderful eyes.” “She/he’s lost their mind!”

“You want the map? You’re taking me too.”

“I’m not leaving my _______, um, unless they look at me like that.”

“Just wait until your mother/father hears about this! Although we may play down the life threatening part.”

“Hey, you actually hugged me back.”

Up:

“Adventure is out there.”

“You don’t talk very much, I like you.”

“Cross your heart.”

“That one looks like a dog. Ah! It is a dog!”

“I have just met you and I love you.”

“I would be happy if you’d stop.”

“These people are no longer intruders, they are guests.”

“It might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most.”

“I don’t want your help, I want you safe.”

“Sorry about your house.”

Wall-e:

*Kissing each other and getting literal sparks*

“Define dancing.”

“I didn’t know we had a pool!”

“You just need someone to look after you.”

“I can’t just sit here and do nothing!”

“I don’t want to survive! I want to live!”

Only referring to each other by your first name, up until the point where you can’t hold it in anymore, and you confess your love. (AKA Wall-e AU)

Wreck it Ralph:

“You’re bad guy, but this doesn’t mean you’re a bad guy.”

“Thanks, Satan.”

“I am bad, and that’s good, I will never be good and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

“Anything to declare?” “I hate you.” “I get that a lot.”

“It’s make your mamas proud time!”

“Flattery don’t charge these batteries.”

“Hey, why are your hands so freakishly big?”

“Enjoy your little tantrum, diaper-baby?”

“Are they in there?” “No, lucky for them, or I would have slapped their corpse.”

“You’re a full on criminal, aren’t you?”

“Come on, a work of art like this must be signed.”

“And I bundle myself up like a little old homeless lady.”

“You are one dynamite gal.”

“You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses! You hit a guy … with glasses.”

“I’m already happy, I’ve got the coolest friend in the world.”

Zootopia:

“Blood! Blood! Blood! And… death!”

“You ever know how we got to be so darn happy?” “No.” “Well we gave up on our dreams and settled. Right, hun?” “That’s right. We settled hard.”

“It’s great to have dreams as long as you don’t believe in them too much.”

“He was right about one thing: I don’t know when to quit.”

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” “And also bears.”

“When is there not a need for a taser?”

“I’m your new neighbor.” “Yeah well we’re loud. Don’t expect us to apologize about it.”

“Tomorrow’s another day!” “Yeah, but it might be worse.”

“Uncool, _____, my tax dollars pay your salary!”

“Life isn’t some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and your insipid dreams magically come true.”

“It’s called a hustle, sweetheart.”

“Does seeing me fail somehow make you feel better about your own sad, miserable life?” “It does. 100%.”

“Never let them see that they get to you.“

“I was small and emotionally unbalanced like you once.”

“If the world’s only gonna see me as shifty and untrustworthy, there’s no point in trying to be anything else.”

“You know, I think you’d actually make a very good cop.” “Ugh, how dare you.”

“I’d just like to say I’m sorry for how I behaved in my youth. I had a lot of self doubt that manifested itself in the form of unchecked rage and aggression. I was a major jerk.”

“Alright get in here. You _____s are so emotional.”

“They offered me what I could refuse! …….Money!”

“They’re the opposite of friendly…… they’re unfriendly.”

“I implore you: try. Try to make the world a better place.”

“You know you love me.” “Do I know that? Yes. Yes I do.”

[dfnews]

Episode Recap of "Could It be Twins?"

Stop teasing people with the twin crap! Nobody cares but you.

Season 3, Episode 2 - First Aired: January 23, 2017

From TV Guide;"Ben hops on the stage when he and Jessa, who's expecting baby No. 2, attend a Flame concert. Meanwhile, Jinger's wedding planning continues." Just kill me now..............

1. The show begins with a lot of clips of what happened, nothing, and what is about to happen, nothing. The clips seem to be just filler to make up for having nothing to film. Izzy is fussy and crying in the first scene which sets up my mood for this recap. I'm in no mood for this insipid twaddle concerning the Duggdillawaldolos but I continue cause I love ya'll.  

2. The Seewalds arrive at the Dillard's home. Well, it's not really their home. Jill and Jessa have been married for two to three years now and neither of them yet own their own homes with their husbands. They are all still living under Jim Bob's roofs. Such leaches! Anyway, Jessa is coming over to see Jill for her typical crappy prenatal care. Jill holds questionable credentials as a midwife and is known for having no common sense. She and Jessa's first births were near disasters but they decide to go the same horrible pregnancy and birth routes that failed them before. Anything to save a few bucks. Jessa, at 18 weeks along, hears the heartbeat and is reassured that there is a baby inside and she's not just sick. So this pretty much confirms she has not seen a doctor. Next will be the storefront baby ultrasound place to tell her what the gender is instead of an actual doctor. You know those storefront businesses that don't know anything about genetic or general abnormalities. Good luck baby Seewald. You're starting off life horribly. Then the twin talk begins. I was aware of Michelle's two sets of twins but never heard that her mom had two sets of twins. In all these years nobody has ever mentioned that Michelle had twin siblings. I wonder why? Is it even true?  Next up, to get the mostly hidden Duggar boys involved in the show, the producers ask them what Jessa should name her baby. The boys come off as dolts.

3. Jinger wedding prep for the already aired wedding is still happening. Ms. Linda is back on the show to help Jinger choose some food for the rehearsal dinner. I thought that job was for the groom's parents. I guess since TLC is paying for most of the wedding, the Vuolos got off easy in the wallet department. Jinger tries a few of the pasta dishes even though she has no clue what she's eating. She decides on a rigatoni spiral white sauce and red sauce cheesy thing...she has no clue but it tastes good. Then on to choosing the food for the reception. These receptions are always good for a chuckle. She decides to do cheese, crackers, a relish bar???, coffee and meatballs. WTH is a relish bar? Oh, "It's a lot of pickled stuff." Yuck! I don't eat beef, so screw the meatballs. I don't eat pickled stuff because it's gross and then to mix pickled stuff with coffee and cheese? If I ever attend a Duggar wedding, I will be bringing a take-out box of chicken parmesan and wine and I will have everyone dying of envy.  Joy explains that the wedding is in the afternoon so people at the reception shouldn't expect a meal. On what planet, Joy!? People come to help you celebrate your big day. They don't have to come. People bring gifts to help you start out your new life as a married couple. They are expected to bring gifts. You ask for them to buy gifts through your registries. It is then protocol that in return you are expected to feed your guests a decent meal no matter what time of day. You can have a breakfast reception or a brunch, a lunch, an early bird supper, a late night dinner or an all-nighter binge, but you are expected to feed your wedding guests. Your problem is in inviting too many people. Who the heck invites 1000 people? That is just showing off. Duggar weddings are all about me and screw those who attend.  

4. Cheese testing Duggar style. There is a lot of face making, nose holding, and no clues about what they are eating, but the groomsmen want a cheese table so Jinger steps out of her American cheese safety net and experiments. The boys suddenly come out of the wood work, because you know they don't have school or real jobs and are always home, and start power eating cheese. Jim Bob is again banned from the set and the show. Yay! Then the producers, who are doing everything they can to kill this show, it must be why they all remained after the scandals, ask the kids this profound question, "If Jinger were a cheese, what kind of cheese would she be?" If Jinger were a cheese? How about asking, "If Jinger were a free woman, where would she flee?" That question might boost the ratings a bit. Joy says Jinger is not that moldy cheese even though most cheese has mold in it so I guess Jinger is not cheese. She's a spice. Jinger decides to go with the "more classic cheeses". I guess a field trip to a cheese factory is out for this family. They would hurt their faces too much from the exotic aroma. They might want to avoid The Cheesecake Factory as well. Too scary!

5. Anna makes an appearance on this episode in order to bring a TLC check home to the child molesting adulterer. She and her kids and Jill and her kid are visiting a kids' play place. Izzy does the normal baby thing and pushes Meredith which causes Jill to explain that 18 month old Izzy is entering his "training twos". Woof, woof! Hey, we have puppy training classes, how come we don't have toddler training classes. Izzy, Spuddy, Meri walk in a circle, heel, sit, roll over,  beg for goldfish crackers. I guess babies are a little more complicated than puppies which is why we DON'T call raising children, training. Except for potty training. I'm all about leashes and swats on the nose with a roll of toilet paper there. Anna looks happy to be out of the house and away from Josh for the afternoon. Her kids are adorable and she is glad to spend time with Jill before she goes "overseas" again. Jill hasn't been overseas since she went to Nepal. What is she talking about? Central America is not overseas. And this woman is homeschooling her kids? I hope at least not in geography.

6. Ben is excited to take a road trip to see Flame in concert. This is his first time seeing Flame and Jessa's first concert ever. Ben raps in the car on the way to the concert and if Spud wasn't buckled up in the back seat it looks like Jessa was considering bailing out the window. Jessa says she appreciates the lyrics of Flames songs but the rapping is too fast for her catch. Jed, in a talking head, says, "The Duggars haven't attended many concerts. We like to watch things maybe as a family but when we have to go out in a crowd we rather stay home....blah, blah, blah. He's making excuses for their isolationist beliefs. People scary...hide under the bed. Jessa gives Ben permission to be a part of Flame's show. He was assigned the task of spraying the crowd with water guns. It's safer for the white guy to pull out any type of gun these days.

7. Cindy shows up not to see her best buddy Michelle, who is absent from this episode, but to visit the church locations with Jinger and Joy.  Cindy, who has a sense of humor, has Jinger make a prank call to Jeremy to tell him that Jinger is going to sing to him during the ceremony. When Joy sees Jeremy on the phone, she says, "Hi babe." Such a flirt! Jeremy and Jinger giggle at the horrible idea of her singing and then say goodbye. Now the trio are heading to a different church building where the reception will be held. Such a step up for the Duggars to not be planning a parking lot reception. This has to be the Vuolos' idea. The reception room just looks like an auditorium. It has rows and rows of seats and a stage. Not really an ideal location for meatballs and cheese. Maybe this isn't a step up after all.

8. Flame sings, Spud, with ear protection on, falls asleep, and Ben is a nervous wreck about his role in the show. The crowd cheers when Ben runs on with the water gun but I'm not sure if the cheer was for him or the cooling spray. Ben is so hyped with the experience that he looks ready to run away from home and join Flames' concert tour. Instead of being a deadhead with the Grateful Dead, Ben can be a Flamer for Flame. We need more flamers in the world. ;) Seriously, we do.

[walduissymavelleyq94insuran-blog]

How much Insurance do I need to pay for a 2.5 million hause.?

How much Insurance do I need to pay for a 2.5 million hause.?

How much Insurance do I need to pay for a 2.5 million hause.?

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SOURCES:

How much Insurance do I need to pay for a 2.5 million hause.?

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How much Insurance do I need to pay for a 2.5 million hause.?

[survivinglifescurveballs]

It’s that time of year where I get to count down the days until glorious freedom playing in the sun on sandy beaches with the majestic ocean within reach.

6-12 months before

Pick dates

Look at your calendar at home, work, school, consider possible extracurricular activities that will be going on at that time of year, etc. Find a week (or more if you are REALLY lucky) to mark yourself as unavailable.

Find the perfect place

Location, location, location

Are you more of a mountains or beach person? Where do you go when you need to heal your mind, your heart, your soul? Water and trees speak to me. Living in Ohio I can trounce around in the friendship of trees anytime the weather is agreeable, so our family heads to the beach. Occasionally I toy with the idea of a trip into the mountains, but the truth is I am afraid I won’t find the same joy I do oceanside.

Once you have a general idea of where you would like to head, you can begin to look at rental properties, hotels, or bed and breakfasts. Booking early provides the most options. We typically book our condo 6 months in advance. Sites like VRBO and Home Away have been helpful for us in the past.

Amenities

What are the most important amenities on vacation for you? Are you willing to pay more for a few extras or is staying within budget the priority? Is the kitchen stocked with everything you typically use? Choose your price range, number of bedrooms, and all the extras that matter to your family. If you have questions the description does not answer, email the owner or rental company. I have always found them to be friendly and quick to answer.

The single most important part of my vacation experience is the view. I want to have an unobstructed full on view of the ocean. It’s not vacation unless I can wake up and drink my coffee on the balcony/porch listening to the waves crash on the beach while the cool salty air dances through my hair. Outside seating is also a must-have for my husband. The kids need a swimming pool. Yes, they go into the ocean, but they are more comfortable swimming in a pool.

Once you feel that you have found the perfect place show everyone else who is going to see if they are just as excited. They may remember something that you have forgotten. When everyone is certain it’s their dream getaway, Book It! Sign the contract, put the deposit down, then begin the countdown until you arrive.

Insure your trip

Get travel insurance that allows you to cancel your trip and receive a refund. Without insurance you can be stuck paying thousands of dollars for a trip you cannot take due to a health or other personal emergency. When you are planning trips 6-12 months in advance you are really counting on everything working out exactly as you plan. How often does that really happen? Mother nature has lots of surprises (forest fires, hurricanes, landslides, just to name a few).

3 weeks before

Compile a packing checklist and also a checklist of items that will need to be completed before you leave.

Packing Checklist

What you need to pack will depend on where you have chosen to vacation. We head toward the beach every year. The water soothes my weary soul. The age of your children will also determine your packing needs. My packing checklist once included baby baths, playpens, and diapers, where now it encompasses colored pencils (because crayons melt in a hot car), headphones, and iPads.

Traveling with toddlers packing checklist

Traveling with pre-teens packing checklist

Some beach condos come complete with beach equipment (chairs, umbrella with base, boogie/skim boards and sand toys) or included/free beach service. Read the description and clarify before taking up unnecessary space in the trunk. Sadly, our regular condo does not include any of those items. Boogie and skim boards are flat and not needed until you arrive at the beach so they are perfect for putting on the bottom on everything else.

It’s important for perfectionists like me to remember that there are stores everywhere to pick up any items that have been forgotten. Focus on the irreplaceable items like medicines, favorite stuffed animals, or pillows you can’t sleep without.

Food

Will you pack your food and take it with you, will you buy it all when you get there, or are you planning some kind of combination? My husband and I talk about what we would like to do on vacation, do we want to eat out a lot, which meals, which of his favorite dishes would he like me to prepare there. Typically we eat breakfast in our condo. Some mornings it’s just fruit and cereal and others I bust out the griddle for pancakes, sausage, toast, and eggs. Lunch and Dinners are split between being prepared at home and dining out.

When we first started taking vacations I would plan nearly every meal and snack, pack a cooler with ice, and cram everything we would need into the trunk for a thirteen-hour drive. That was crazy! I am a little crazy. Sometimes I can be inflexible, yeah I know, big surprise. Between couponing and purchasing local, hormone free beef, I had a difficult time paying full retail and considering grocery store meat. I have come to the realization that one week of vacation food is just part of the experience, not to mention a lot less to pack, plan, and cram into the car. Did I mention we take a Honda Civic with 4 humans in it for a thirteen-hour drive?

These days I pack a few shelf stable items and my spices. Spices are not cheap and there is no reason to buy a brand new bottle for preparing a few dishes, besides they take up minimal room. Also, COFFEE, check what kind of coffee maker will be available. We have Keurig at home, but most of the condos we have stayed in still use ground coffee brewers. Don’t forget filters! This is an extremely important part of my first morning away. Although, there is always the backup of running to the local coffee shop for your morning joe.

Overnight bag

It takes 13 hours to get to our beach destination and we choose to break that drive up into 2 days.  

Some people may have a predetermined stopping point, not us. We don’t like to be too constrained on where we need to stop for the night. Some trips we make it further than others on the first leg of the journey. It depends on how we are feeling. For example, our last trip to the beach we had car trouble and we did not make it very far at all on the first day. Having a reservation somewhere would have compounded to that stress.

Our family’s preference is to stay at a nice hotel with a pool. We stay at hotels several times a year so I have joined the Marriott rewards club and downloaded their ‘Find a Marriott’ app to my phone. When we are thinking about stopping for the night I open the app and look for nearby hotels with a pool. We are prepared to drive for another hour or so because there may not be one super close that stays along your route.

Once we get to the hotel we do not want to lug all of our bags into the hotel when all we need are a few items for a brief overnight stay. We pack an overnight bag complete with toiletries, swim suits, pajamas, and a change of clothes for the next day.

For the Car

Plan your route and share it with someone who will not be going on your trip with you, just in case. I have found google maps to be incredibly accurate.

Schedule needed maintenance for the car. At the very least check all fluids and tire pressure. Be sure you have an emergency kit in the trunk (jumper cables, basic tools, tire pressure gauge, caution cones, road flare, rain poncho etc.).

How will you and everyone else stay entertained without disturbing the driver? For our family that means iPads for the kids with headphones, a book for me, and full radio control for my husband. In the past, I have packed junk food snacks for the kids, but the result was a backseat mess when we arrived. Now I prefer to stop, get out of the car and eat. Most of the time we stop at a restaurant or a nature rich rest stop for homemade sandwiches.

Drinks are tricky too. You want to keep everyone comfortable and hydrated without stopping every hour to use the restroom. This requires patience, experience, and intermittent reminders about liquid intake. Most importantly, when you stop make everyone get out and try even if they don’t feel the need. Because if you don’t someone is going to need to go just a few miles down the road.

Beach bag

When packing for our trip I pack the beach bag full of the things we will be taking to the beach so it’s ready to go. The beach is usually the very first thing we do when we arrive, sometimes even before unloading the car. A spray bottle of vinegar in case of jellyfish stings is a necessity as getting stung seems to be my annual beach trip tradition. I think in all the years we have gone I have missed being stung only once.

1 week before

Solidify plans to have your mail and newspapers brought in. If you have someone caring for your pets, have them over and show them where they can find everything they need. Make sure anyone needing keys to your home has them.

You may also want to have someone walk your trash totes out to the curb on trash day and return them to the house. Trash totes left unmoved can be a signal to thieves that you have an unattended house.

The day before

A little housekeeping

Oh, the wonderful anticipation is at its peak. It’s easy to get carried away with excitement, but there are a few last-minute things to take care of to ensure you return home to a pleasant atmosphere.

My very first vacation as an adult was wonderful until I opened the door to my apartment upon returning. It smelled like something died in there while I was away. Turns out I had forgotten to take out the trash and left dirty dishes in the dishwasher, ew!

First, clean out your refrigerator tossing or giving away foods that will spoil. After you have eaten the last meal at your, run the dishwasher. Clean out the sink and run the disposal.

Be sure you have plenty of pet food on hand if someone will be caring for your pets at home.

Get all the laundry done and start packing.

Clean all the windows in the car and ensure there are no streaks.

VACATION, it’s finally here!

Finish packing

Road trips are more enjoyable if I am comfortable and for me, that includes being freshly showered. This means most of my toiletries cannot be packed until the day we leave for the trip. When I step out of the shower, I towel dry my bottles and toss them into the toiletry bag.

One last check through the bags to make sure we have most everything we will need.

Walk through the house checking all windows and doors, unplugging everything except the refrigerator (just in case).

The trip

 Check all fluids and tire pressure one last time. Make sure you have sunglasses, directions, phone, and phone charger.

Let your family know you have left and when they should expect to hear from you again.

When stopping for the night I always send those same people the city, state, hotel, and room number of where we are. I know in an emergency they are too far to help, but in the event something happens, they would have an idea of where to start.

Dress comfortably in loose-fitting, soft clothes. Take a deep breath, now enjoy the experience!

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[welliwood-farm-blog]

How does this weekend homesteader get ahead?

There are many challenges facing the beginner homesteader… and even the more seasoned practitioner who is running out of wind. Recently, I had the opportunity to reflect on these challenges in my own personal journey, and actually went out to get some answers. For those of you following the humble beginnings of Wellwood Farm, I have a full-time off-farm job (two jobs if you count family life). I’m also not from around these parts, and am really just trying to figure stuff out as I go, especially since I have no background in agriculture. Basically my challenges are linked to limited resources, namely (and in no particular order) time, money and community. So I was thrilled to learn that, in exchange for a bit of my time, the organizers of the Guelph Organic Conference (which usually occurs the last week of January) were allowing me to save hard earned $ getting connected to like-minded individuals.

The deal is, you get free access to all workshops when you volunteer that day. If you want maximum flexibility, sign up for Saturday set-up and/or Sunday teardown, but there’s also coat check, registration desk, workshop facilitation, etc. I signed up for Saturday setup as I wanted to be free for all 4 workshop sessions that day, and although it’s tough getting there at 6am, I can tell you now that I’ll be doing the same next year. We greet tradeshow vendors, help them unload their stuff and find their booth, and most of them are very grateful there’s someone there who knows what’s going on. There are some breaks in the waves of equipment, supplies and props, and that’s when you start chatting with your fellow volunteers about their experiences and which workshops they’re interested in. Like the guy that started telling us about a farm that grows native pawpaw trees under black walnuts as they’re the only ones that can, hence reduced competition and…Oh, hold that thought, there’s a truck backing up that needs to be unloaded. Anyway, it’s a cool way to meet new people, some are veterans, some are newbies, but we’re all there to help out and have a good time. Look at my fellow volunteers in the first two photos, for example.

So, was it worth it, did I get what I was looking for? Here’s what I learned that day.

1) Resource management (time and $)

The first workshop I attended was hosted by Hanna Jacobs of Matchbox Garden & Seed Co, and her catchy title was “How to turn a profit on under 2 acres”. Although I’m not looking to give up my day job, i figured she must have a few nuggets of wisdom if she turns a profit on the same space as I break my back on every year. And although her profit is a third of what I need to raise my family and pay for my banker’s extravagant lifestyle (aka mortgage), there were many a gold nugget to be found in her honest talk and subsequent chat that evening as the tradeshow was closing down for the day (sorry!) Her main points were: know what you want, be realistic, diversify into niche markets, have a business plan…and keep revisiting those as you go along because things do change…all the time.

The last workshop of the day, presented by Catherine Stilo, was geared toward the casual gardener rather than the professional business. It wasn’t clear whether the husband and wife team had off-farm jobs, but the abundant produce coming from their rural backyard was shared mainly with family and friends (and one very lucky neighbor). She touched on the principles of permaculture, perennial gardens and thriftiness, but what I loved the most in her presentation was those summer photos where she’s holding a fresh-picked veggie and all you can see is that smile!

Both these ladies stressed the importance of enjoying life in the process. I realized somewhere over the past 4 years I had lost that because my expectations were disproportional to my reality at that time. Eager to recreate eden on earth, I planted everything and anything in much greater quantities than I could handle. We all know those seed catalogues are awfully tempting, but would I plant as many if I were saving seeds year over year like Hanna? And if I had a smaller space and decided to use raised beds as Catherine did, would I plant that many tomatoes (and beets, and beans, and squash, and…)? Probably not. Instead, I find myself with an overabundance of food fit for a CSA that I have neither time nor energy to devote to. Now, if we were part of a community that shared the same values, the story may be different.

2) Finding a community

Last year when attending the conference, I only went to the free tradeshow looking for seeds and to see what was out there. I was a little overwhelmed at the number of booths with all their different agendas. From large scale farming equipment to co-operatives to consultants to NGOs to home gardening tools and products to food brands…and all the nuances in between. This year, I was hoping to make some good connections to recreate the community we left behind in our home country. In addition to the two speakers mentioned above, I was able to ferret out a couple of booths that could be interesting leads. The first was Fiddlehead Nursery, located near Collingwood, which offer tours of their edible forest setup. Not only is this a great way to see something new that works in our climate, but they also mentioned there was a community not far from there where some young aspirational homesteaders had started buying up properties along a stretch of side road from the previous generation (lucky snowbirds), each bringing their own contributions for the common good. I can’t wait to find out more about these guys, and even maybe meet some of them when I visit Fiddlehead Nursery in the spring. Another great conversation I had was at the Rare Breeds Canada booth, where I was told they could probably hook me up with an old timer in my area that could talk my ear off about which chickens would be best for our setup. And this post would not be complete without the lovely Nicole at Upper Canada Fibreshed, who immediately drew us in with her spinning wheel and wining smile (proof in photo above). Her group seeks to connect local wool producers, and particularly from rare breeds, directly with consumers.

Then there was Ivan, a budding consultant at Eden in Season with lots of great ideas. Although I was a bit confused at first trying to figure out what his booth was about, he was very engaging, pulled out a map of the area and circled my approximate location compared to his. I found out he did a bit of everything, with the aim of helping confused souls, like myself, explore possibilities and connect with opportunities. Although he avoided my initial question of “do you do mushrooms”, I’ll definitely be connecting with him in the near future and hopefully go out to see what he has achieved in his area. There were also several cooperatives, buying clubs, councils, organizations and associations that I need to do a bit of research on before providing an opinion. There’s a photo above to give you a little idea of the homework awaiting.

Lastly, I recalled talking to a guy promoting Outdoor schooling in a previous tradeshow, but was sad not to find him this year. As our toddler miraculously blooms into a child (when did we start having conversations all of a sudden?), we’re starting to look into school options, including homeschooling. I can only imagine there’s a whole universe just waiting for us as we go down that path, which I’ll be sure to report back on.

3) Other learnings

The two middle workshops were related to native plants for carbon sequestration and providing wildlife habitat, with an emphasis on pollinators. Although they didn’t help in my quest for resources, it definitely added to my list of cool things to try on the farm. Some are embarrassingly simple, such as tying reeds together and making a mini sand/rock garden, whereas others involve intensive rehabilitation more fit for experts. I had previously read about switchgrass and was thrilled to find a booth with someone knowledgeable to answer my questions, photos and even bowls of the stuff to get a feel of the product (last photo above).

So, in short I got what I came for and more, with the caveat that I’ve only scratched the surface and need to do a bit more digging (pardon the puns). Thankfully, we have another 2 months in good ol’ Zone 5 before we can really get outside, so as long as the passion doesn’t fade, there should be some exciting changes on our farm in 2017. Bring it on!