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lotusglass · 4 years

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So about the ships, is it okay if I ask about headcanons about the ships and how they got together? Thank you!! The ocs are really intresting and I love the ships so I’m very intrigued lolol

Absolutely! I live for questions like this <333 this is very long so I’ll be putting it under read more. Small warning: a little spicy in some parts ouo;;; and I do apologize if they seem out of character

Leona and Anyu

They met during a maglift(magical shift? please correct me if I’m wrong;;) practice match, NRC against DCA(Belongs to Phoenix-Manga/phnxart!). One of the Savanaclaw students on Leona’s team were cheating and Anyu was REALLY not having it;; so of course he confronted him about it, but afterwards it kept happening and then everything went uh...downhill;;;

Since then they became rivals and Anyu swore that she’d beat him in maglift fair and square! The again, she managed to beat him a few times when they spar?? //sigh this girl asks for too much;;;

Though, she can’t help but appeal to his cunning and arrogant behavior, but does her best to deny it when someone brings it up. Like yeah, she thinks he’s cute, but he’s mean!

no chance, no way, I won’t say I’m in love

Even if they’re not dating, they bicker a lot and argue A LOT, but they still care about each other nonetheless, it’s a matter of patience and loyalty mostly patience though

Considering how witty they both are, they subconsciously flirt each other whether it’s one the mag lift field or in their respective dorms, they always have something to say to each other. Even Ruggie can feel the tension before calling them out on it.

Anyu likes to run her hands through his hair when they cuddle, or rather whenever Leona drags her away from studying to go AND cuddle.

Like a lot people, he calls her herbivore, but also princess while Anyu calls him a fur bag or kitty~

He carries her like a fucking potato sack, it makes Anyu Angry, but Leona still does it to push her buttons.

There’s a decent amount of PDA, but behind closed doors, it’s more...ravenous ouo;;; just don’t be surprised if Leona has hickeys on him or anything

They playfight A LOT especially after a fight and Anyu is always the one starting it

neither of them know this but their older siblings are already planning their arranged marriage due to politics

Overall, it’s push and pull between these two!

Azul and Pearl

Ah yes Ursula and Ariel

Pearl was actually childhood friends with Jade and Floyd so when they visited each other in their first year, she was introduced to Azul.

At first she was pretty neutral about him, but after she heard about his contracts, she had to distance herself a bit, but still remained good friends!

Out of kindness, she dotes on him lot, but Azul’s expecting something out of it, and Pearl always gets upset whenever he asks her

Although she does her best to be more understanding oh him, and ever since his overblot, she’s more doting and more open with him.

Their love is playful, tender, and surprisingly conniving! Being that Pearl is a matchmaker, she likes to ask her octo-baby for some help in pairing couples(aka getting Floyd and Jade to intervene), but in exchange she has to help him out as well whether it’s finding gems to see or sing at the mostro lounge. It’s an equal share between the two!

She lets Azul pull out scams and sometimes gets involved with them, although she pretends that she doesn’t know what’s going on when really, she KNOWS what’s going on, girl wants to make Azul look like an idiot for scamming her one time!

Pearl loves ballroom dancing and sometimes she would get Azul to dance with her, even though he tends to trip on his feet a lot hahaaaa!

They like to make inside jokes and they flirt with each other, although Pearl has a bad habit of getting too friendly with her male clients, which leads Azul having to lecture her about personal space. If it’s the male clients getting too friendly, it’s a whole different story, a scary one actually;;;

Azul tried to kiss her once in the VIP room, but alas Floyd and Jade ALWAYS cockblock him which then leads to Azul lecturing them, and Pearl scolding him for being rude to the twins. he just a kiss from his gf that’s all he asks

shalalala my oh my it’s like the boy’s too shy he’s gonna kiss the girl

Pearl knows what it’s like to be ostracized and bullied. Every so often, she pampers Azul after a hard days work and when he’s upset, she’s very patient and listens to his woe constantly, even if he doesn’t say anything, she’s there

Trey and Clarice

Met during a visit from NRC! Clarice was in the middle of sewing up her gowns on a mannequin and Trey and Cater walked in on her. Trey and her talk a lot about their crafts and of course Cater was just there to take pictures of it, not that Clarice didn’t mind!

Literally husband and wife

Trey is the kind of guy who’s an ideal boyfriend, constantly helping her with designs and encourages her. While Clarice helps him in the kitchen and whatnot!

But most importantly. she pulls him back from overworking, being vice dorm leader is never easy. Of course she’s no better, Trey can tell when Clarice hasn’t had enough sleep, or when he fingers are sore. Thus, Trey would have to pry her hands off the sewing machine and into a comfy chair

They play around in the kitchen a lot! She purposely puts icing on his face and he chases her around for it. There was also an incident where they played around too roughly and Clarice knocked a bag of flour onto the floor. Needless to say, Riddle was NOT happy when he saw the whole mess

They tend to feed each other sometimes and go as far doing the pocky game. Of course Ace ruins the moment by telling them to get a ROOM.

PDA? They always have their hands somewhere on each other, Trey’s arm over her shoulder, and Clarice’s hand on the small of his back hood boy

Kingsley and Riddle

Kingsley met Riddle when he was a wee first year! He always so obedient and being the dick the Kingsley was, he REALLY tried to influence him. However, Riddle was stronger than that and didn’t buy into his shenanigans like the good boy he is!

Before I go on, I headcanon that Riddle is bisexual or pansexual.

As mentioned, Kinglsey does flirt a lot with Riddle, and it goes as far as calling him pet names and compliments.

The result it either Riddle storming off with rosy cheeks, or “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD”.

He does care about Riddle’s well-being and has to remind him to take breaks. When there’s a fight going on and Riddle is too busy, he takes care of it for him. He treats his queen like no other.

If they were dating, I’d say he’s one for PDA and will deliberately fluster him in front of other people

Promised himself to tone down his playboy attitude for the sake of his beloved. The last thing he wants to upset Riddle.

They tend hedgehogs and paint teacups together, sometimes have private tea time when they get the chance!

Kingsley is also very much down to punch the daylights out of anyone who dares to hurt his Riddle, not on his watch!

Jamil and Elena

I feel they met during the school festival at DCA. She’s part of cultural dance club and happened to be performing with her dorm leader. Kalim and Jamil were both intrigued and after the performance they managed to talk to her

Elena knows when Jamil is pulling back and she LOATHES that, so often times she pushes Jamil to the point where he’s really showing his bets efforts and only then would Elena be satisfied.

Elena may be a tough girl and rougher than most, but she can be just caring as the next. She would always check on Jamil after he takes acre of Kalim, he works so hard has no acknowledged this??

They have this habit of dancing together during the more quiet hours of the dorm, whether it’s in Scarabia or Magiaoasis(Phoenix-manga/phnxart), they’re moving together. However, Kalim tends them about it, so before they do anything like that, they have to make sure the coast is all clear.

If it’s not Kalim, then Elena is always the first to taste his cooking. Also she’s a horrible cook so sometimes Jamil would help her out, even if it gets a little frustrating

PDA? It’s more private, they only hold hands or Jamil has an arm around her, nothing more or less. But in private? You can bet that Elena is showering him with lovebites and hickeys. Occasional praises, but nothing too far from it. Unless Jamil says, well you know how it goes 👀

The tension between those time is thick enough to cut through. Even if they walk past each other in the halls, their eyes says it all when they gaze at each other.

#[answers]#I'm so sorry if it too long I had so much info but I had to condense it #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #trey clover #riddle rosehearts #jamil viper #anyu zhang #clarice bellerose #pearl salacia #kinglsey princeton #elena #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc

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gaming-rabbot · 6 years

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Salmon Run and Presentation

A (not so) brief dissertation on narrative framing in video games, featuring Splatoon 2

With the holidays in full swing, I took advantage of a deal one day when I went into town, and finally got my hands on Splatoon 2. Having loved the prior game as much as I did, waiting this long to get the sequel felt almost wrong. But like many another fellow meandering corpus of conscious flesh, I am made neither of time nor money.

Finally diving in, I figured I might take this excuse to remember that I write game reviews, sometimes. You know, when the tide is high, the moon blue, and the writer slightly less depressed. I ended up scrapping my first couple drafts, however. You see, a funny thing was happening; I kept veering back into talking about Salmon Run, the new optional game mode the sequel introduces.

Also I might look at the Octo Expansion later, on its own. After I get around to it…

Look, the base game already has a lot of content to explore, and as previously stated, I am sadly corporeal, and not strung together with the metaphysical concept of time itself.

My overall thoughts, however, proved brief, so I’ll try to keep this short.

(Mild spoilers coming along.)

Gameplay wise, I think the story mode is much improved upon by handing you different weapons for certain levels which were specifically built with them in mind. Whereas the prior game left you stuck with a variant of the starter splattershot all the way through. This keeps things interesting, pushes me outside of my comfort zone, and it’s a good way to make sure players will come from a well-informed place when deciding what weapon they want for multiplayer; which, let’s face it, is the real meat of these games and where most players are going to log the most time.

I also love the way bosses are introduced with the heavy drums and rhythmic chants and the dramatic light show. It endows the moment with a fantastic sense of gravitas, and manages to hype me up every time. Then the boss will have an aspect of their design which feels a bit silly or some how rather off, keeping the overall tone heavily grounded in the toony aesthetics the series already established for itself.

Narratively, I felt rather okay about the story aspect of Story Mode. The collectible pages in the levels still have a certain amount of world building, though this time it seems more skewed toward explaining what pop culture looks like in this world, such as, an allusion to this world’s equivalent to Instagram.

Cynical as it is…

That’s definitely still interesting in its own right, though perhaps it’s less of a revelatory gut-punch as slowly piecing it together that the game takes place in the post-apocalypse of Earth itself, and the inklings copied ancient human culture.

We still got some backstory for this game’s idol duo, though. And that, I appreciate. It means Pearl and Marina still feel like a part of this world, rather than seeming obligatory for the sake of familiarity, given the first game had an idol duo as well.

Meanwhile, perhaps it is a bit obvious that Marie’s cousin, Callie, has gone rogue, and that she is the mysterious entity cracking into the radio transmissions between her and Agent 4. If I recall correctly, that was a working theory that came about with the first trailer or two. That, or she had died.

As soon as Marie says aloud she wonders where Callie has gone, I knew right away. And that’s just in the introduction.

That said, on some level, after stomaching through certain other games and such that actively lie or withhold information to force an arbitrary plot twist for plot twist sake, it feels almost nice to go back to a narrative that actually bothers to foreshadow these things. Plus, having gotten already invested in Callie as a character from the first game, I still felt motivated to see the story through to find out why she went rogue. And, loving the Squid Sisters already, there was a hope in me that she could be redeemed, or at least understood. In terms of building off the prior game’s story, Splatoon 2 is moderately decent.

Also, I mean, c’mon. The big narrative drive might be a tad predictable, but hey, this game is for kids. It’s fine.

That, I think, is something I love the most about Splatoon. Despite feeling like you’re playing in a Saturday morning cartoon, and being aimed primarily at children, it doesn’t shy away from fairly heavy subjects. Such as the aforementioned fact that the humans are all long dead and you’re basically playing paintball in the ruins of their consumerist culture.

Which brings me to what fascinates me so much about Splatoon 2: the way in which Salmon Run is framed.

You see, on the surface, Salmon Run appears to be your typical horde mode; a cooperative team (typically comprised of randoms) fights off gaggles of foes as they take turns approaching their base in waves. Pretty standard for online shooters these days, as was modernly popularized by Gears of War 2, and Halo ODST.

I say “modernly,” as the notion of fighting enemies as they approach in waves is not exactly a new concept for mechanical goals within video games. Rather, the term itself, as applied to multiplayer shooters, “horde mode,” became a point of game discussion when Gears of War 2 introduced the new game mode by that same name back in… 2008?

No, no that can’t be right. I played Gears 2 back in high school (I had worse taste back then, okay?). Which, from my perspective, was basically yesterday. That game being ten years old would mean I myself am old now, and that just can’t be. I’m hip. I’m young.

I am, to stay on theme here, fresh.

But okay, existential crises and game talk terms aside, the writing team behind Splatoon 2 probably decided to absolutely flex when it came to the narrative surrounding Salmon Run. It is one of the most gleaming examples of the nontraditional things you can do with writing in video games, to really elevate the experience.

Let me explain.

You see, narrative in video games typically falls into one of two categories: either the story sits comfortably inside of the game, utilizing it like a vehicle to arrive at the destination that is its audience’s waiting eyes and ears. Or the narrative, on some level, exists rather nebulously, primarily to provide something resembling context for why the pixels look the way they do, and why the goals are what they are.

Not to say this is a binary state of existence for game writing; narrative will of course always provide context for characters, should there be any. It’s primarily older, or retro games that give you a pamphlet or brief intro with little in the way of worrying over character motivation, and the deeper philosophical implications of the plot, etc (though not for lack of trying). These would be your classic Mario Bros. and what have you, where the actual game part of the video game is nearly all there is to explore in the overall experience.

Then you have games like Hotline Miami that purposely sets up shop right in the middle to make a meta commentary about the state of game narrative, using the ideological endpoint of violent 80’s era action and revenge-fantasy genre film as inspiration and the starting point to draw comparison between the two. It’s bizarre, and I could drone on about this topic.

But I digress.

Despite falling into that latter category, that is to say having mainly just an introduction to the narrative context so you can get on with playing the game, Salmon Run is a stellar example of how you can make every bit of that context count (even if it does require the added context of the rest of the game, sort of, which I’ll explain, trust me).

First, a (very) brief explanation of how the game itself works, for the maybe three of you who haven’t played it yet.

A team of up to four inklings (and/or octolings) have a small island out in open waters. Salmonid enemies storm the beaches from various angles in waves. Each wave also comes with (at least) one of eight unique boss variants, who all drop three golden eggs upon defeat. Players are tasked with gathering a number of said golden eggs each round, for three rounds, after which their failure or success in doing so shows slow or fast progress towards in-game rewards.

And it’s all an allegory for the poor treatment of labor/workers, utilizing the fishing industry as both an example and a thematically appropriate analogue. Yes, I’m serious.

First, Salmon Run is not available through the main doors like the other multiplayer modes. Rather, it is off to the side, down a dingy looking alley. And when you’re shown its location, either because you finally entered the Inkopolis plaza for the first time, or because the mode has entered rotation again, Marina very expressly describes it as a job.

A job you should only do if you are absolutely, desperately hard strapped for cash. You know, the sort of job you turn to if, for one reason or another, you can’t find a better one.

An aside: technically, playing Salmon Run does not automatically net you in-game currency, with which to buy things, as regular multiplayer modes do. Rather, your “pay” is a gauge you fill by playing, which comes with reward drops at certain thresholds; some randomized gacha style capsules, and one specific piece of gear which gets advertised, to incentivize playing.

The capsules themselves drop actual paychecks in the form of aforementioned currency, or meal tickets to get temporary buffs that help you progress in the multiplayer faster via one way or another. Which, hey, you know, that helps you earn more money also. Working to get “paid,” so you can get things you want, though, still works perfectly for the metaphor it creates.

When I first saw it open up for rotation, I found out you had to be at least a level four to participate. Pretty par for the course, considering it’s the same deal with the gear shops. But, again, it’s all in the presentation; Mr. Grizz does not simply say something akin to the usual “you must be this tall to ride.” He says he cannot hire inexperienced inklings such as yourself, because it’s a legal liability.

After returning with three extra levels, I was handed off to basic, on-the-job training. Which is only offered after Mr. Grizz (not ever physically present, mind you, but communicating with you via radio), the head of Grizzco, uses fairly typical hard sell rhetoric when it comes to dangerous, or otherwise undesirable work: calls you kid, talks about shaping the future and making the world a better place, refers to new hires as “fresh young talent,” says you’ll be “a part of something bigger than yourself.” You know, the usual balancing act of flattery, with just the right amount of belittlement.

Whoa, hang on, sorry; just had a bad case of deja vu from when the recruiter that worked with the ROTC back in high school tried to get me to enlist… several times… Guess he saw the hippie glasses and long hair and figured I'd be a gratifying challenge.

The fisher imagery really kicks in when you play. Which, I figure a dev team working out of Japan might have a pretty decent frame of reference for that. A boat whisks you out to sea with your team, and everyone’s given a matching uniform involving a bright orange jumper, and rubber boots and gloves. If you've ever seen the viral video of the fisherman up to his waist in water telling you not to give up, you have a rough idea. Oh, and don't forget your official Grizzco trademark hats.

It’s on the job itself where a lot of what I'm talking about comes up the most; that is to say, despite buttering you up initially, Mr. Grizz shows his true colors pretty quickly. While playing, he seems to only be concerned with egg collecting, even when his employees are actively hurting. This is established and compounded by his dialogue prior to the intermediate training level, in which informs you about the various boss fish.

Before you can do anything remotely risky, even boss salmonid training, Mr. Grizz tells you he has to go over this 338 page workplace health and safety manual with you. But, oops, the new hire boat sounds the horn as you flip to page 1, so he sends you off unprepared. “Let’s just say you’ve read it,” he tells you, insisting that learning by doing is best.

This flagrant disregard employee safety, in the name of met quotas; the fact we never see Mr. Grizz face to face, making him this vague presence that presides over you, evaluating your stressed performance with condescension; that we are not simply given the rewards as we pass thresholds to earn them, having to instead speak with another, unknown npc for our pay… It all drives toward the point so well.

The icing on the cake for me is when a match ends. You, the player, are not asked if you’d like to go back into matchmaking for another fun round of playtime. Rather, you are asked if you would like to “work another shift.”

The pieces all fit so well together. I shouldn’t be surprised that, once a theme is chosen, Splatoon can stick to it like my hand to rubber cement that one time. It has already proven it can do that much for sure. But it’s just so… funny? It’s bitterly, cynically hilarious.

Bless the individual(s) who sat in front of their keyboard, staring at the early script drafts, and asked aloud if they were really about to turn Mr. Grizz into a projection of all the worst aspects of the awful bosses they’ve had to deal with in life. The answer to that question being “yes” has led to some of my favorite writing in a video game.

All of these thoughts, as they started forming in my skull, really began to bubble when I noticed Salmon Run shifts become available during my first Splatfest.

Splatfest is, to try and put it in realistic terms, basically a huge, celebratory sporting event. Participation nets you a free commemorative t-shirt and access to a pumping concert featuring some of the hottest artists currently gracing the Inkopolis charts.

The idea, the notion, that a hip young inkling (or octoling) might miss out on one of the biggest parties of the year because they need money more than they need fun? It’s downright depressing.

It got me thinking. I looked at my fellow egg collectors. In-universe, we were a bunch of teen-to-young-adult aged denizens missing out on all the fun because we desperately needed the cash. We became stressed together, overworked together, yelled at by our boss together. But in those sweetest victories, where we’d far surpassed our quota? We celebrated together.

Spam-crouching, and mashing the taunt, something changed. I felt a greater sense of comradery with these squids and octos than I did in nearly any other coop game. And it’s all thanks to the rhetorical framing of the game mode.

It accomplishes so many things. It’s world building which wholistically immerses you in the setting. But mainly, its dedication to highly specific word choice does exactly what I mentioned earlier: it elevates the experience to one I could really sit down and think about, rather than use to while away the hours, then move on to something else. So many games make horde modes that feel inconsequential like that; it’s just for fun.

There’s nothing wrong with fun being the only mission statement for a game, or an optional mode of play. But this is exactly what I mean when I say this is the nontraditional writing games can do so much more with. And Splatoon 2 saw that opportunity, and took it. And what a fantastic example of bittersweet, cold reality, in this, a bright, colorful game meant mainly for children…

Happy Holidays, everyone!

#Rabbot Reviews #video games #review #Splatoon 2 #Salmon Run #narrative #framing

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sexy-bloody-slut · 6 years

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I wrote a Splatoon guro fic where an Inkling named Ray ends up on Marina’s very special game show! I hope you all enjoy it!

Ray was drowsy. He remembered...he had a drink...somewhere? He vaguely remembers there was a “Sorry” before he blacked out. He blinked a couple times before realizing that there was darkness all around him. He could hear a few murmuring voices. He opened his mouth to speak but he was so dry. When had he last gotten any ink? He tried to move his arms and legs but they were...strapped down? Was he on some sort of messed up operating table?

His brain was ready to process it all when the lights blasted in his face and he heard a shout of “And we're live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!”

Marina jumped forwards. “Hey everybody, welcome to another special show of Ink to Win!”

The noise of the applause deafened Ray, but he could still hear a small pump turn on behind him. He felt better. He could twist his head just barely enough to see that he was attached to an IV of ink. He looked around some more, noticing that he was strapped up vertically, facing the audience, but the lights stopped him from seeing anything.

“Now, everybody, let's meet our first contestant! All the way from Inkopolis, it's Ray!” Another round of applause as Marina went over to him with the microphone. “Ray, tell us, are you ready to play Ink to Win?”

“I...don't know...where I am...” He still felt so dry and confused.

“Hard night drinking last night, Ray?” Oh god she knew.

“I...what is...Ink to Win?” “So you're not ready.” Laughter from the audience. “Alright, who wants to tell Ray all about Ink to Win?” It got darker around him. He realized the spotlight had moved over to the audience, all of them jumping up with hands in the air.

And they were all Octolings.

His hearts started pounding. The haze was vanishing and it was all coming together, even as Marina was calling up a lucky audience member to explain the rules.

He started looking around and struggling for anything he could use. All he found was the straps getting tighter.

He listened to the tail end of the rules as Marina came over, handing the audience member a special T-shirt. “That's right, he'll have to answer every question correctly if he wants to get out of here with the grand prize! You got all that?”

“Y...yes.” Maybe he could figure something out. There was still time.

“Great! So let's start with Question #1. How many hearts do Octolings have?”

“F—four.”

“WRONG!” Boos from the audience. “We have 3. I thought you'd know that since Inklings have just as many. Let's spin that wheel!”

He heard a wheel spinning behind him. He looked frantically but couldn't see any of it.

“Oh, good start for the first round, at least!” Marina picked up a machete from a table. She came up to him. “Don't worry, things will be all right.”

The audience laughter couldn't drown out his screams as Marina chopped off his left hand. Blood and ink gushed down the table. He started wiggling his arm out of the strap, but realized there was no point. He just stared at the stub at the end of his arm and his hand sprawled out on the floor.

“Question #2!”

“I don't know why--”

“Ahem, I'm asking the question! Everybody remember what happens when you interrupt me?”

He should've listened to the rules. That's all he could think as Marina pulled out a nailgun and fired several nails into his chest. The pump sped up. It was obviously the only thing keeping him alive, but for how long?

“Ahem, question #2! What is Octo Valley's main resource?”

“...Ink?”

“Really? Everybody knows that it's steel! Do you even have a brain in there?” Marina laughed to herself as the wheel began spinning. “I guess we'll find out later, won't we? Oooo, maybe we'll get a look at it now!” She grabbed a power drill, and started it up as she brought it over and shoved it into his left eye. She held it there for a moment, the whirring echoing in his skull, before pulling it out, the eye still attached. “Looks like this just isn't your game. We'll have to see if Ray picks up any after these commercials.”

Marina's game show persona clearly dropped as a commercial for Sheldon's Weapons played on an overhead TV. Maybe Ray could talk to her now.

“Please...I don't understand...you're so nice on the show...”

“Of course I am.”

“But...you hate Inklings?”

She laughed bitterly. “You think that's what this is about?” She smiled. “I love Inklings. I love Inkopolis. I love doing the show with Pearl, I love arguing with her over Splatfests...but I'm an Octoling at heart.” She looked at him, staring deep into his remaining eye. “Do you like Octolings, Ray?”

He was stunned into silence as the announcer counted back down from commercial. Marina put back on her persona as Ray came to the fact that he was going to die here.

“And we're back! Ray, you haven't done great so far, and I'll be honest, these questions are only going to get harder! Are you ready?”

“Yeah...” There was no point in arguing. He thought he knew what this was about, but...he also thought he could just kick back and play Turf War for the rest of his life. That wasn't going to happen.

“So, question #3! And I don't want you to rush this one. How many Octolings have you killed?”

Before the audience was murmuring and laughing. Now there was just silence.

Ray gulped. “Um...I...” He thought for a moment. “I don't know.”

“Go ahead, let's make this fair. You get it within 10 and I'll give it to you.”

He tried to count. During the war, after the war...maybe add an extra few in there...

“...65”

“Not even close. Ray, it's 105. Now, our audience here is only 300, so...y'know, a third of them, that's how many you've killed in your lifetime.”

“I'm sorry” He whispered as the wheel came to a stop. He looked down, not wanting to face the booing crowd, only noticing what was going on when he heard the chainsaw rev up. He looked back up just in time to see Marina cut his body at the waist, blood and ink splattering everywhere. With his legs gone, it was a single arm holding him in place.

Marina looked at her next question. “I'm gonna be honest. You're not gonna make it to the grand prize round. Here, I'll make it fair. If you can get this one right, we'll call it even. I'll release you. Maybe you can crawl far enough to get some medical help.”

Ray blinked and nodded a little. He was barely conscious enough to say anything.

“For your freedom. Question #4. What was my sister's name?”

“Your....sister?”

“I'm sure you know her, Ray. After all, you were the one who murdered her. You were the one who assaulted her, stabbed her, called her 'takoyaki' as you covered her in gasoline and set her on fire. Or at least that's what I heard. That's what your buddies told me before they were on our show. So come on, what was her name?”

“K...kill me...”

“Oh, you're gonna wish I would.”

Ray blacked out.

Ray woke up and looked around. The blinding lights, the cheering crowd...no, it's just the TV. Marina and Pearl were discussing the latest Splatfest. He heard a page for a doctor.

Hospital. He...was alive? He took a moment to take inventory of himself. His waist was in pain but...so were his legs. They had been reattached. His eye and his hand were still gone, but...all he could think of was the generosity.

A nurse came in. “Oh, you're awake! You were dropped off here last night. How are you feeling?”

He considered telling her about everything that happened, but...who would believe him? “I'm...alright.” His stomach rumbled. “Hungry, though.”

“Well, you're in luck. Somebody dropped off some special sushi for you. Here, let me help.” She opened the container and picked up a piece with the chopsticks, giving it to him.

Ray took it and chewed. And chewed. This was...too rubbery. And it tasted weird.

This wasn't fish.

#splatoon 2 #guro

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robdwebster · 6 years

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Stuff of the year, 2018

"Mum, look! He's shitting out the thing again!"

Game of the year:

Two Point Hospital

Celeste

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

I dragged my feet on a lot of cool games this year. I didn't play Smash Bros. until the last week of the year, and got round to Celeste on NYD 2019! Smash is an unremarkable triumph - it is exactly the game I expected, but it's so good and there's so much of it that it was easily the best Switch game this year. Celeste is more interesting; brutal, but kind to the player, with a cracking soundtrack and some magical design. It gains a lot of points for being about something - that punishing difficulty makes you feel like you’re really climbing a mountain, and the frank way it discusses mental health is really phenomenal.

But Two Point Hospital - man! Like Sonic Mania last year, Two Point Hospital is a spiritual sequel to one of my favourite childhood games. Unlike Sonic Mania, it's not perfectly realised. I'm still not a big fan of the art-style, and there were some genuine balance / difficulty issues at launch affecting things like queue length and patient AI. That said, this game has had a ludicrous half life. I love the challenge, I love the mechanics, I love that it's easy to pick up but tricky to master. I love its tone, I love its sense of humour, and some 140 hours in I still don't feel like I'm done enjoying it. Just wonderful.

Other games I liked: Bomb Chicken, Donut County, Fallout 76, Graveyard Keeper, Jackbox Party Pack 5, Nintendo Labo, Pokémon Let's Go!

Album of the year:

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Gorillaz - The Now Now

Muse - Simulation Theory

Gesu no Kiwami Otome - Suki nara Towanai

Hey! A year where I loved more than three albums!

It's nice to have a new band in the top three; I'd never heard of Gesu no Kiwami Otome before this year, but their new album is great. It's even nicer that Muse's long-awaited new album is actually good! I pre-ordered it reluctantly, fully expecting it to be mediocre, but Simulation Theory is a dorky, retro joy. Best of all is that Gorillaz have released two albums-of-the-year in a row! The Now Now was a chilled out treat, the perfect record for a lazy summer evening. Or a winter evening. Or whenever, really. Just play it. It’s grand.

Other albums I liked: A Perfect Circle - Eat the Elephant, Kero Kero Bonito - Time 'n' Place, Polkadot Stingray - Ichidaiji

TV of the year:

James Acaster: Repertoire

Orange is the New Black

Aggretsuko

This year has been ridiculous for brilliant television, and there is so much that it's killing me not to include. Last year's winner Taskmaster aired one of its best ever series, but a more uneven run at the start of the year plus stiff competition kept it out of the top three. King of Bots is Chinese Robot Wars, it is berserk, and it has an even more berserk spin-off show - both of which I’ve omitted!

But, three shows that nailed it. Aggretsuko, with its charming characters and acerbic office satire. Orange is the New Black, which has no business being in such rude health after six seasons. James Acaster's four (four!) interlinked stand-up specials. Hard-earned!

Other shows I liked: Bojack Horseman, Derren Brown: The Jump, Disenchantment, Hilda, Inside No. 9, King of Bots, Taskmaster, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, The Horne Section Television Programme, The Mash Report, This is Fighting Robots, Who is America

Film of the year:

The Shape of Water

Isle of Dogs

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

I'm usually a bit sniffy about Oscar nominees - I always expect them to be worthy snorefests about how tragic life is. Maybe my tastes are changing, maybe I misjudged them - or maybe this year just happened to be a belter, but last year's Best Picture nominees were superb! I watched four out of the nine, and am gutted to have missed two more. Two of them were released this year in the UK, and are therefore eligible for this blog: The Shape of Water, which is beautiful, romantic, and turns the cold war into a romantic fantasy without sanding off its rough edges, and the morally grey but socially conscious Three Billboards.

Meanwhile, Isle of Dogs wasn’t nominated for any awards, but it was about some nice dogs, so that’s still good for second place.

Other films I liked: Mary and the Witch's Flower, Ready Player One

Podcasts of the year:

FiveThirtyEight Politics

Reply All

Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonalds?

Temptation is to try and make these lists different every year, but when Reply All and FiveThirtyEight keep nailing it, what else can you do? Reply All did have a slightly more muted year, mostly due to behind-the-scenes stuff, but earns its placement with The Snapchat Thief alone.

The sole newcomer in this list is Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonalds, an investigative journalism programme (or IJP) that isn't afraid to ask the big questions. Mainly, whatever happened to pizza at McDonalds?

Other podcasts I liked: Adam Buxton Podcast, All Killa No Filla, Everything is Alive, Hello Internet, Kermode & Mayo Film Review, Lovett or Leave It, My Dad Wrote a Porno, Oh No! Ross and Carrie, Off Menu, Pod Save America, Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast, Secret Dinosaur Cult, So You Think You're Smart, The Horne Section Podcast

Gig of the year:

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Gein's Family Giftshop, vol. III

I only went to a couple of gigs this year - all of which were good, but I wanted to give Gein's Family Giftshop a special mention.

GFG were already my favourite live comedy act - they perform as a three-person sketch group, a sublime blend of the crude, the audacious and nihilistic. They are fucking phenomenal; I've linked to one of their YouTube sketches above but it's only a tenth as good as the live show.

Anyway, when they played in Bristol, their third member had tonsillitis. Rather than cancel the show, Kath and Ed performed the whole show on their own, and stormed it! Live shows are always best when they feel spontaneous - the danger of knowing anything could go wrong (and to an extent already had!) adds an electricity to a room. Watching it all go right is even better! I laughed so much - one of those events where you just had to be there, and I'm so chuffed that I was.

Stuff of yesteryear:

Gesu no Kiwami Otome - Odorenai nara, Gesu ni Natte Shimae yo (album)

Arrival (film)

Nier: Automata (video game)

My annual category for “stuff that wasn’t released this year but I enjoyed checking out.” Nier: Automata was the right kind of ludicrous - full of batshit ideas. Arrival was a more low-key brand of batshit, but still incredibly inventive and oddly optimistic - one of those films where you emerge from the cinema and the world feels a little bit different.

But only one of these moved me to blog. Click here to read me very excitedly discovering Gesu no Kiwami Otome, back in May. The listed EP is the best, but you can’t go wrong anywhere.

Other parties I enjoyed arriving late to:

Games: Bayonetta 2, Cities: Skylines, DmC: Devil May Cry, Dishonored 2, Life is Strange: Before the Storm, Overcooked, Superhot

Books: Everybody Lies, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, The Humans, The Signal and the Noise

Films: Ex Machina, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Kubo and the Two Strings

Bands: Polkadot Stingray

Single of the year:

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Gorillaz - Tranz

Muse - Pressure

Gesu no Kiwami Otome - Onna wa Kawaru

I don’t really like this category because there’s a lot of crossover with album of the year, but it’s a pretext to post the Pressure music video, so... shrug!

It also means I can give Dream Theater and The Constellations honourable mentions even though they didn’t release full albums this year. Well done Dream Theater and The Constellations. I liked your nice songs.

Other songs I liked: Dream Theater - Untethered Angel, Kero Kero Bonito - Make Believe, Kero Kero Bonito - Dreams of Oneonta

DLC of the year:

Octo Expansion

Bigfoot

Sonic Mania Plus

Considering it's been my favourite home console franchise since the day it was released, I have given Splatoon short shrift in end-of-year roundups, picking Fallout 4 as my number one game in 2015 and Sonic Mania in 2017.

I don't regret either of those picks, but I'm delighted that Splatoon finally gets to run away with a number one placing this year. The Octo Expansion is incredible value for money, a more-is-more single player campaign with playable octolings at the end - the team nailed it. Phenomenal stuff.

Person of the year:

I did this last year, right? But everyone’s been so terrible this year!

Who did I choose last year? Rilakkuma? Fine - keep the crown, RK. No public figure has been better than a lazy cartoon bear. It’s yours indefinitely, until the world gets good again.

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