#“this is your sentence karris”

[a-tenno-called-prin]

30 minute sketch turn into 2 HOURS because I refused to use a reference and ended up just redrawing the same hand 30 times anyway it's 2 am here she is with her hair down i'm sleep now bye

[autistpride]

Thanks for the tag @ye-olde-trojan-horse and @chace-vito

RULES: Put your playlist on shuffle. For each of the 10 interview questions, select a lyric from the random song that comes up (skip if there aren’t any lyrics and make sure to drop the name of the song in your interview answer).

1. First off, how would you describe yourself in one sentence?

You've got your mother in a whirl

She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl.

Rebel rebel -Bowie

2. What kind of [Aries] are you?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Fix You- Coldplay

3. You’re visiting your favorite spot, what are you thinking about?

I am nothing less

I am holding on

Still holding on

And every now and then

Life begins again

Still holding on

Crawl -Breaking Benjamin

4. If your life was a movie, what do you think the first review would say about it?

Now I know your name but not who you are

All my Love - Noah Kahan

5. Say you get a book deal, what are you titling your memoir?

Each horizon is a new beginning

Rise and reign

Valhalla calling -Payton Parish

6. What would you say about your best friends?

These people raised me and i can't wait to go home

Castle on the Hill -Ed Sheeran

7. Think back to when you had everything all figured out in high school, what was your life motto as a teenager?

My whole life, I've felt like a burden

I think too much, and I hate it

I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring

Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence

Silence -Joy Aileen cover (song by Marshmello)

8. Describe your aesthetic now:

And this is who I am when

When I don't know myself anymore

And this is what I choose when

It's all left up to me

Breathe Into Me -Red

9. What’s a lyric that they’ll quote in your eulogy?

No, this can't be how the story ends

Rescue Me- Karrie Roberts

10. And for our final question, say we believe in soulmates, what do you think their first impression of meeting you will be?

I wonder what it's like to be loved by you

Wonder -Shawn Mendes

NP tagging these people because I haven't seen you answer yet or you be tagged yet in others post @siriuslybea @calamitoustide @basicallyjustmuggleremuslupin @not-rab @roomwithanopenfire @starman-o7

[drunken-drengr]

Six Sentence Sunday

Thanks for the tag @noire-pandora, this is the first time I’ve done this, I believe. This is a bit more than six sentences, but oh well, I think it’s a nice, small little excerpt. I wanted to start another story, focusing on how Karrie and Solas didn’t get along well at first. Gotta say, I was very inspired by your wonderful story! I’m absolutely loving it so far.

“You’ll make it through this, I promise.”

In that moment, all her pain eased, her headache subsiding, the burn in her hand gone. Somehow, she mustered the strength to open her eyes, her mouth, trying to form words of response to the voice who called out to her. But the only words that jumped unto her tongue upon opening her eyes and seeing the origin of the voice weren’t that of gratitude. She saw a man, sullen eyes staring back into her own, whose hand caressed her own in a comforting way. 

“Knife-ear!” Karrie snarled, gritting her teeth again, and pouring all her regained energy into digging her nails into the man’s hand. Suddenly, he cried out, that gentle look upon his face twisting into that of fury and anger. 

“What are you doing, fool!” she heard him hiss as he pulled his hand away, and with that swift motion, all burning pain came back to her. The dwarf cried out in pain, squeezing her eyes shut, tears forming in the corners.

[shewantedtobeasecretgirl]

10. Bathroom wall (Part Three) a.k.a. a queen bee, Prince in the shower and a backup Casanova

In the previous parts: The bunch spends a free evening in a bar, where local girls are trying to get closer to the band members. Dave suggests Jeff that he should make Judy jealous but she’s too busy with being outraged about a girl named Claudia dancing with Stone. Finally, Claudia backs down; after a fight with Stone, Judy reveals to Karrie, that her made-up stories about Stone had to do something with her reaction. In the meantime, Mike is feeling sick and refuses Karrie’s advice to take his health issues more seriously. She also shows him pictures of Effie but Mike’s evening ends with a surprising twist. Judy tries to calm down with the help a relaxing shower but she gets unexpected company in the common bathroom… 

@shadowsonoureyes I think I almost completed your drabble challenge 😉

“I got a lion in my pocket and baby he's ready to roar…”

God, I wish this was only a nightmare and I woke up suddenly realizing nothing of this madness has happened actually, maybe I could even laugh at the whole setting. But now, laughing is the last thing I feel like doing, I’ve been standing here since who knows when, I’m freezing, I wanna finish my shower, I wanna dry myself, I wanna get out of here… this with the lots of “wannas” sounds like some random lyrics of The Ramones… But as things stand at the moment, I’ll grow old and die here because this skinny hippo has been splashing beyond the wall for at least fifteen minutes, performing the longest and most inconsistent mix of Prince songs ever, deliberately altering the lyrics, changing the range of lines or even skipping some of them whereas repeating other ones infinitely like a broken record player.

“You got the horn so why don't you blow it…”

Actually, I’ve even started playing with the idea of turning the water on again, maybe this capybara enjoys listening to his own voice enough not even to hear it. But no, that’d be too risky. But I could definitely get rid of the shower gel bottle to be able to rub along my body against cold, I’ve been squeezing that little plastic flask at full strength since he entered here, as if it could help me become invisible. I slowly stoop to place it on the ground in the corner feeling like a compromised spy who’s ordered to put her weapon down without making any suspicious or ambiguous move; but due to the slippery surface under my soles I lose my balance and as I catch towards the wall to prevent myself from falling I drop it… and it lands with a loud crash in the metal shower tray. Fuuuuck… I freeze immediately and perk up my ears holding my breath trying to figure out if he heard it too… of course he heard it, it was as ear-splitting as a rocket launch but maybe he was too distracted and…

“Is somewhere there? Who’s that?”

He heard it…

“Who’s that? Scully? Is that you? Don’t be so shy, we’ve known each other for ages, I’ll even wash your back if you need help…”

Okay, Judy, you can’t hide any longer, you have to find out something, anything… what if I just ran out with a battle cry and grabbed my towel and… okay, maybe something more discreet would be more adequate.

“Scully? I’m coming over…”

“NO!!!” I scream.” It’s not Scully… it’s me… Judy…” I manage to reveal my identity only for the third attempt since my voice won’t obey and insists on sounding comically high-pitched. “And thanks but I’d skip the offer, I can reach my back.” Jesus, I don’t know why I’m babbling this, it’s like…

“Oh… I didn’t know it was you. Actually, I thought I was alone, you were so silent… I couldn’t even hear the water running at you…”

“Because… because… it wasn’t running since… it’s a part of my shower routine, I begin it with hot water then I turn it off and stand a few minutes until I start feeling I’m freezing, this method works wonders on the blood circulation…” I basically yell the end of my bullshit excuse since I turned the water on in the meantime to finally put an end to this awkward situation. Unfortunately, when I turn it off, I can hear he’s still humming, seriously, how much time does he need to dry his balls?

“Anyway… you were right.” he speaks up out of the blue.

I was right? Meaning what? You’re a pervert? You’re a bitch who would bang everything that moves?

“The acoustics in this room are truly excellent.”

You don’t say…

‘I’m flattered by the fact that once in a blue moon you are willing to agree with me. And, uhm, I’m ready with my shower and as you’ve probably already noticed, my towel is hanging on the wall on the other side so… so I’d feel honored if you left…”

“If I left?”

Yes, I mean get the fuck out you pig, you heard it well.

“Why would I leave? I want to enjoy these fascinating circumstances a little bit longer…“

I should have known this wouldn’t be easy, this must be like a dream come true for him: holding me hostage, taking advantage of my miserable situation…

“But seriously, just listen: I really get a dirty mind whenever you're around… Awesome!”

I roll my eyes so hard that I can see my own frontal lobe… Being forced to listen to Stone’s falsetto serenade while being butt naked, fuck, I didn't know what I was missing in my life until now.

“What do you want? Should I sing a fuckin’ duet with you for my freedom?”

“That’s not a bad idea, actually… what about Together Forever by Rick Astley?” I hear him snapping with his fingers and giggling at his brilliant idea.

“Well, the performance of Under Pressure would sound more honest from my mouth right now…”

“You’re just so negative, nothing can please you today seemingly. But as a sign of my generosity, I’m ready to give you that towel.”

How can a voice be so irritating? This nasal tone with the mannered Northwestern accent makes sound everything what he says extremely annoying, I could punch him even for citing the headlines of a newspaper.

“Ha-ha, very funny, Gossard. But let’s skip your cheap tricks and move your aaa…self out of here.”

“Cheap tricks? I don’t think there’d be anything interesting to see here, plus, you’re forgetting about a very important factor: I’m out here wearing a towel whereas you are in there wearing nothing so it is me who makes the rules. But, again, I’m a genuine guy so I give your towel to you, all you have to do is to ask me.” the pain in the ass goes on with his rant.

“Okay. GIVE ME THAT FUCKIN’ TOWEL!” I scream angrily stomping of helplessness.

“Why do you have to be so rude? You’re hurting my sensitive soul all the time; if you want me to cooperate, you have to be kind and ask me nicely.”

Once I get out of here, I’m going to fuckin’ kill you, I swear, I’m going to kill you ten times, I’m going to kill your reincarnated bodies too even if you will be reborn as a cute kitten or a baby giraffe…

“GIVE ME THAT FUCKIN’ TOWEL! Please?” I yell again and append a fake, cheesy appeal to my words.

“You see? It sounds immediately completely different.” he snickers satisfied.

“Okay, but we have to clear the logistics first. I think the least awkward way would be you standing facing the door, handing the towel backwards to me and I would reach out for it and…”

“Do you really think I wanna peep?” he asks with amused smugness in his voice.

I do? I don’t? Shit, there’s no right answer to this question, I mean, I’m not interested in him at all, I don’t care what he might think about my look, my body, I don’t even know whether he would think anything at all or he’d just act neutrally like I wasn’t a woman or human at all but fuck, I’m a human, I’m a woman, I could be the possible subject of a guy’s interest too and when I mean “a guy” I don’t think necessarily about him although he’s a guy too…

“I don’t give shit about what you want, what I want is to minimize the level of my retinal damage by not seeing your face, so please do me a favor, turn away from me and give me that goddamn towel.”

By the time I’ve finished the sentence, a pale body with something bright blue at waist-level appears on my horizon with funny side-sliding steps. He’s standing with his back to me, as far as I can judge it even without my glasses, my assumption is only based on the dark trail of his hair on his back. Or he’s an aberrant psychopath who covered his face with his hair to deceive me. He pulls my towel off the wall… okay, that means he’s truly facing the opposite wall unless his shoulders are especially flexible… damn, he reaches it backwards to me lifting his arm to the same height… I’m still not sure about his exact posture…

I slowly walk to the edge of the shower tray, hesitating for a few seconds which one of my body parts I should keep covered before reaching out for it. With a deep sigh, I opt for my breasts and try to grab my towel but there’s still almost a one-yard distance between our hands.

“Stone… you’re too far… could you come closer?” I moan in agony.

“Interesting… until now, you wanted me to go away and now you’re asking me the opposite. Or you’re just trying to trick me into touching you and then get me arrested for sexual assault… no, Camden, I don’t buy it. Anyway, walking backwards is dangerous, what if stumble and fall and break my neck? It’d be safer if you came out of your hiding place, you can’t spend the rest of your life there when I’m gone, I don’t care…”

I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this but I obviously have no choice… I approach him with sneaking steps while terrible thoughts are chasing each other in my mind… What if he can rotate his head 180 degrees like owls? What if he’s got extraordinary eyes like chameleons and due to his particularly developed peripheral vision he can see basically everything around him?

As I finally touch the terry cloth fabric, I immediately tear the towel out of his hand and wrap it around myself. His arm swings automatically back to his body as if it was pulled by a spring and while I pull back into my shelter to dry all my body parts, he keeps standing at attention on the same spot.

“Ahem… I’m ready so… you can go…” I make an attempt to get rid of him.

“You’re not a quick learner… and you’re pretty ungrateful… I haven’t heard the magic word yet.”

I can’t believe this. And I can be grateful to him for not humiliating me even more…

“Thanks…” I mumble.

“I didn’t understand it… it’s strange, the acoustics in that corner must be different, it absorbs sound waves…”

“Thank you, Stone Almighty Gossard, nothing could express my eternal gratitude, you’re my savior, I’d be nothing without you, from now on, I’m your slave!!!” I shout paying special attention to my articulation.

“Could you hear the echoes too? Much better.” he clicks with his tongue satisfied and disappears from my sight with the same hilarious moves he made earlier. “Good night, Judith, and if you happen to have erotic dreams this night, please keep them for yourself, I’d feel embarrassed if you told me about it…” he adds and as I open my mouth for some snarky retort, I hear the door slamming.

Finally. This… prick is just unbelievable, after his performance at the bar he thinks he did me a favor by not behaving a like a perv? And erotic dreams? Come on, I’d rather puked myself to death of his sight.

I have to use the awkward choreography I invented earlier to get back to my stuff I left on the chair, although I myself don’t really understand either, why, I’m alone after all... As I lean down for my glasses, my fingers reach out for… nothing. They’re gone! I grope the whole chair along… still nothing! I put down the shower gel bottle and try to crouch down to check the floor under the chair, which is not easy to do at all without exposing my intimate body parts. I keep adjusting the towel with my left hand while I try to scan trough every inch of this goddamn place with the other one and I’m about to drop the freakin’ towel when I hear a weird noise from behind my back. Snorts… silent snorts… like someone was suppressing laughter… oh shit. That moron, that son of a bitch… he’s Satan, I told it.

I straighten up as fast as I can, I can only hope he didn’t see my backside or my nipples or… why can’t I die here and now without more suffering?

As far as I can see him without my spectacles, he’s leaning against the sink and checking me out with folded arms.

“Taking away my glasses? That’s the most creative idea you could find out? Seriously, where are we, in third grade maybe?” I attack him but in the meantime I realize I should calm down, seeing me being upset is probably his favorite entertainment. “Okay, Gossard, go ahead. I don’t know why you crafted this vicious plan with trapping me here, taking away my glasses, stalking me… let’s get over with it, whatever you want…” I shrug resigned.

“Firstly, I didn’t know you were here, I just came in since I have the right to have a shower too. Secondly, I have nothing to say to you, it is you who should talk.”

“Me? Do you think I want to have a chit-chat with you here and now? Are you completely nuts? Just give back my glasses and get out of here!”

“Well, that has a price.” he answers irritatingly slowly, I can hear clearly he’s grinning.

“Is this a blackmail?” I scream outraged.

“Why do you have to use always such tough words? It’s a… mutually beneficial offer. You want your glasses whereas you also owe me an apology and I’m ready to accept it.” he explains with fake generosity.

“I’m not gonna beg you, you idiot.” I hiss between my teeth and grab towards his hands but I’m not fast enough to catch him off guard. He raises his arm high before I could get my property back and smiles down at me with a smug expression.

Does he want me to bounce like a puppy? Well, I won’t. Actually, the only possible weapon that comes to mind is as childish as his stupid little trick but the end justifies the means… But I have to be quick since my one hand is busy with keeping the towel around my body and I don’t want to grope him for too long time either. But he didn’t leave me any other choice, unfortunately.

“Fine, Stoney…” I pretend giving in. “You’re right. So listen to me carefully because you’re not going to hear this from me too often…”

“I’m all ears.” he spreads out his free arm.

Piece of cake.

“Sooo…” I approach him cautiously “Stoney, I just want to say… TICKLE ATTACK!!!” I yell and poke my fingers between his ribs.

The effect is beyond expression. He immediately doubles over letting out a wide range of animal sounds and it only takes a few seconds to tear out my spectacles of his hand maintaining the offensive with my other hand.

“Ha, victory!”I yell chuckling at his convulsion but as I hear a weird noise over his whining, I immediately stiffen. “What was that?”

“What’s… what?” he asks still groaning.

“Didn’t you hear that? I think someone slammed the door…” I stutter as I place my glasses on my nose. “And that means someone had opened it before… and maybe saw us…”

“Bullshit. And even if it happened as you think, all that could be seen was you committing sexual harassment on me so…” he smirks sassily leaning back against the sink.

What an obnoxious asshole. And he’s also wearing flip-flops, which I’ve always hated on men, seriously, I could slap him with them…

“Sexual harassment? I would rather jump on a male tapir than engaging into an erotic intermezzo with you!” I tuck my hair nervously behind my ear.

“You and a tapir? I wish I could see the offsprings…” he keeps grinning and flips his wet hair back… actually, it’s surprising, usually, he’s not a big hair washer. A tiny waterdrop is swinging on the end of one of the dark strands that are wavier than usual, this must be their natural state… then the drop slowly falls on his shoulder and follows the line of his collarbone, changing direction at his neck only to gain momentum and now it’s pulling a trail along his flat stomach and…

“Ahem…” he clears his throat “shall we go? Or do you want to examine my naked body for a while?”

“Let’s go” I start like I was waking up from a dream and I can feel my cheeks are burning for some mysterious reasons. “But you go first, I don’t want to make myself ridiculous in front of more people tonight.”

“Okay, okay…” he walks out with lazy reluctance. “All clear!” he shouts and I put my head out of the door to check he’s not trying to trick me again. How can he walk so leisurely, isn’t he bothered by the fact he’s almost naked? And why did he wrap that towel so tightly around his waist that it shows every curve of his…body parts…?

“Do you want to spend the night in there?” he suddenly turns back and I can only hope I managed to look away fast enough.

“No… no…I’m coming…” I mutter and follow him in duck walk, squeezing my toiletry bag.

He stops at his door and leans with one shoulder against the door jamb, of course he wouldn’t miss out my clumsy performance.

“Wow, gracious. You were born to the catwalk.” he giggles.

“Shut up or I scratch your eyes out!”

“Okay-okay but I hope we can agree that we’re even.” he waves an imaginary white flag.

“We are. And I say now good night before you happened to die under unclear circumstances.”

“Good night, Miss Hundred Pounds of Concentrated aggression.”

His audacious grin mellows into a boyish smile and I don’t know if I am only hallucinating or for a fragment of a second, he scans me from head to toe…

He pushes himself away from the wall and disappears in the dark room, leaving me frozen in the hallway. I stumble back to my room and I plop down on my bed. But what was that stare? He was probably just mocking me as usual, he’s surrounded by beautiful girls and he must find my dwarf body structure ridiculous. But he said we’re even… I stare at the toiletry bag on my lap, although I didn’t turn on the light, its pattern is clearly visible in the street lights filtering through the torn curtain. Musical notes, treble keys… wait. He claimed he didn’t know it was me in the shower. But who else in the bunch would have a bag with these motifs? He knew it was me. He knew it and he still came in. He wanted to humiliate me, it wasn’t just an embarrassing coincidence. Stone Gossard, we’re everything but even.

***

„These piggies are so cute.”

“Yes, they are totally adorable.” Layne agrees observing them with a tender smile. “Look at their mom, how patiently she’s bearing as they’re pestering her… geez, some of these little fuckers are pretty aggressive… look at that one!”

He points at a spotted piglet which is the greediest in the bunch; I don’t know much about domestic animals, I can only guess he’s a tiny boar. He’s tossing away all his siblings to get free access to his mther’s teats and even after he gets one of them, he keeps her poking with his power outlet-shaped nose. Well, moms are the most patient creatures on earth, I’m sure I’ve caused a lot of trouble to mine too…

“I wonder if we can stroke them, their hair seems to be so fluffy…”

“A bit later, now it’s mealtime. Their mother is very protective of them, she would bite your fingers off… I think she’s going to pass out in a few minutes, you can try to grab one of them while they’ll be playing around her.” the farmer-looking guy answers. He can’t be much older than us but he speaks in a slow, prudent manner, which makes him sound like a grandfather. He must be an employee of this place… whatever this place is…

“Effie would love them.” Layne remarks, still fascinated by the nursing process.

Effie? Layne knows Effie? Interesting.

“Is she here too?” I stutter confused.

“Of course, dude, you bought her here, remember?” Layne glances at me and raises one eyebrow.

“Really? And where is she know?” I scratch my chin still not understanding how she got in the picture.

“She stayed in the house. She was interested in the greenhouse and the gardener happened to be there, you couldn’t drag her away from the orchids. Seriously, Mike, are you stoned our what? You should take more care of your girlfriend if you want to take this thing between you seriously.”

Girlfriend? Effie is my girlfriend? Okay, that sounds strange too not that I want to complain…

“And… what’s that house you mentioned?”

“Shit… I’m not gonna help you out with weed ever again, this stuff has obviously terrible side effects on you, you’re like a drunk goldfish. Hey, Jer, tell to this asshole where we are!” he shouts at his approaching bandmate.

“Estamos a la hacienda Cantrell, hombre! This my ranch! And in a few hours, we’ll be eating the best food you’ve ever tried, Consuela is the most badass cook in the entire world! But we have the whole afternoon, I want to show you my new golf course, we could even play, I have tons of golf clubs, I can lend you one of them…”

Wait, something’s wrong here. I know they have their share of success because of this Seattle madness too, not that they don’t deserve it, they are a fuckin’ amazing band but I never knew Jerry had a ranch, I mean, it must have cost a buttload of money and however much I like him, I must admit he’s not that type who prefers savings to poker, dope and strippers.

“How… how long have you owned this… this huge farm?” I wave around clumsily trying not to sound too stupid.

“For like… ages…? Hahaha, man, I know my beautiful maids drive every man crazy, that was my point when casting them and choosing their uniform. But you can’t complain either, I checked the little blondie out, nice catch! That cola bottle-shaped body, damn…” the skirt-chaser underlines his words by drawing the mentioned contour in the air flashing a filthy grin. I don’t like this tone, I don’t like the idea of Jerry talking about Effie or looking at her, fuck, I don’t even like the idea of any member of Alice In Chains staying in the same state as her for more than three seconds.

“But first, we have to choose the dinner. Which one do you want?” the guitarist nods towards the pigpen and knowing his dirty humor, I’m not sure whether he refers to any food-related or he’s called hookers or what?

“How… how do you mean?”

“Mike, this is definitely not your day, just pick one!” Layne giggles glancing amused at his bandmate.

“But… what?” I still don’t get where this whole thing is going.

“Geez man, okay, I”ll do it for you. Come on, little dudes, it won’t hurt, I promise you!” Jerry leans over the fence and grabs two piglets by the skin around their neck.

“No, no, are you trying to say we’re gonna eat them? No, never, this is the cruelest thing I’ve ever heard, you can’t…” I protest shocked but the asshole doesn’t give a shit about me and carries the two victims under his arms to the pickup standing close to us. He ignores the desperate squeals of the poor little things: he throws them in the truck bed and climbs after them.

“Jerry, where are you going? You can’t… stop, don’t do that, man!” I yell almost crying but he just keeps laughing with that typical, pedophile Santa Claus laughter of him.

“What do you think, for what purpose do I breed them? They are cute and all but just think about a crispy, red, roasted pig spinning on a skewer over the fire… yummy… Consuela has a secret recipe, it��s delicious. I takes hours to prepare it, though, but I think I can keep myself busy until then, you know, that blondie is waiting only for me…” he winks and I catch to my stomach. Effie… Jerry… no, that can’t happen, I think I’m going to vomit, Jesus, this is terrible…

He pats the side of the truck bed twice, signaling to the driver that he can start the engine.

“Yes dude, until the pork gets ready, I’m gonna bang Effie… bang Effie… bang Effie… bang Effie…”

His words get mixed with the squealing of the piglets and the roar of the engine and the terrible sounds keep echoing in my head distorted by the Doppler-effect until the car disappears on the horizon.

“Bang Effie… bang Effie… bang Effie…”

…

I wake up with a start. My heart is beating so fast that it almost rips my chest, the blanket is soaking wet of my sweat, even my hair is stuck to my head and neck. This was the worst nightmare I’ve had in the past years… wait… if it was a dream, why can I still hear the snorts?

I slowly turn my head in the direction of the sound and suddenly, everything falls into place. The girl with whom I spent last night is snoring next to me… Her red lipstick and black eyeshadow is smeared all over her face making her look like a slutty panda bear and the little stream of drool in the corner of her mouth makes it even worse. Thus passes worldly glory… not that I have any right to criticize her look, I must look like crap too and honestly, I also feel like that. My head is about to explode, my intestines are burning… but I can only blame myself and that bottle of pure vodka we consumed last night together. At least the sex was satisfactory... yes, satisfactory is the best term, not more, not less. The beginning was creepy, though, with those weird outbursts of her about her nonsense prohibitions… I mean, who the hell wants to do stuff like that? Poor girl, she must have had hard sexual experiences. But that cowboy roleplay could have been even good with the hat and slight bondage elements and all… but her exaggerated behavior kept it in conditional. After all, we both got what we wanted and I don’t have to feel guilty. I didn’t force her, she offered, I just played along… it was basically her who fucked me. I don’t know if it had anything to do with me being the guitarist of Pearl Jam but even if it has, come on, is that really such a terrible crime if the “also ran” member of the band takes advantage of his situation once in a blue moon? The girls are never cueing in front of my hotel door, I deserve to have blast when a rare occasion occurs for some mysterious reason. And I don’t owe anyone any explanation, the guys and Eric are not my chaperones, I’m a single guy with needs and I can’t live in a fantasy world for good, pathetically sobbing after someone I haven’t even met yet, right?

Hydration. That’s the first thing I need right now. The only problem is that she’s sleeping with her limbs spread in four different direction and her left arm happens to rest on my chest. Shit, I wish I had left after we finished it as I always do after one-night stands, it spares both the girl and me awkward morning scenes, these things are not about romance, anyway. But this time the sex was intense and the booze was kick-ass so we both must have passed out after getting on top.

I try to slide out of the bed basically in horizontal position placing the pillow on the same spot where my upper body used to be hoping she’s sleeping deeply enough not to notice the change. I freeze when she lets out a few louder snorts after my maneuver but after a few satisfied smacks, she calms down and keeps snoring. I tiptoe around the bed to collect my clothes and I found all of them except my boxers… fuck, she must be lying on them. After a few seconds of hesitation I get dressed without them, they’re clean since I didn’t have any “accident” yesterday so trying to get them back is not worth risking.

I silently walk out in the kitchen and immediately spot a few bottles of mineral water on the counter… but taking one of them would be stealing, right? But if I turned the water on, she might wake up… I open all of the cupboards until I find a larger glass and turn the water tap cautiously until a thin spout starts running from the pipe. It takes a while until I fill the glass with this method but I gulp the content of it with one breathe in a blink of an eye.

My rumbling stomach directs me to the fridge, even if I don’t want to take anything, I can check its content, right? The cool breeze feels unbelievably good as I lean into it… let me see… further bottles of water, some milk, a piece of moldy cheese which probably isn’t supposed to be moldy, expired yogurt and a bunch of bananas. Shit, banana is my favorite fruit, the best resource of potassium and I’m dying to eat one. But I decided not to steal anything… but come on, it’s only a banana.

As I’m about to leave the crime scene, I notice a notepad and a pencil on the table. Maybe… maybe leaving a note would be a polite way of giving an explanation for what I did, right? Yeah, that’s it! Okay… “Dear…” Fuck, what was her name? Clarissa… Claudette… CLAUDIA! “Dear Claudia,” Shit, this is going to be harder than I thought… should I thank her for the sex? “thanks for the evening. I didn’t want to wake you up so…” so I ran away like a coward “I decided to say bye in this note. I was really hungry so I served myself with a banana.” and last night I served you my banana, Jesus, I’m a gross pig. “Sorry for doing it without asking, as an apology, I drew you another one.” I try to sketch the schematic picture of a banana but it looks like a nonfigurative or even phallic symbol from any possible angle. Shit, I can’t leave it like this. Luckily, the pencil has a quality eraser on the top so I can make the terrible scribble disappear and correct the message. “I drew you the only thing I can draw:” I close my eyes to recall the logo I’ve copied everywhere more times than anything else… “KISS” at least I can still do it… I go over the message again, I think it’ll do the trick. “I wish you the best, Mike”. I stop in the kitchen door on my way out. Even a KISS logo can’t undo a theft. I should offer her some compensation… I walk back and grab the pencil again. “Ps. Next time we come to Charlotte, I’ll invite you for a coffee.” But what if we bump into each other anywhere else? “Of course I also invite you in case we encounter anywhere else.” Okay, ‘Cready, you don’t have to write an epistle, you don’t have to surpass Tatiana, just leave finally before she wakes up. But what if… what if she doesn’t like coffee? Now that I glance around, I can see no coffee machine here… “Ps2. In case you don’t like coffee, my offer applies to tea or soda too, of course.”

Okay, enough, she won’t even notice, who the hell takes inventory about bananas? I shake my head, take a deep breath and sneak out of the apartment.

***

Coffee. The first thing that comes to mind in the morning. I know I drink way too much coffee but caffeine addiction is sort of an inevitable outcome if you’re a rock musician at nights and an espresso guy at daytime. Of course the receptionist or janitor or whoever confirmed my initial aiming: this shitty motel doesn’t sell any food or drinks apart from the broken vending machine in the corner of the lobby. He also said I can take all of its content if I manage to fix it. No, thanks, the late seventies-looking chips bags with their probably fossilized content aren’t particularly tempting.

I’m heading to the bistro on the other side of the street, it’s probably not much better than that place but a coffee without hair in it and a decent breakfast would already satisfy my needs. On entering I must admit, the smells are better than expected and as soon as I take place in a booth, a polite waitress appears at the table handing me a menu and producing a cup out of the blue. She immediately fills it with the hot beverage I was longing for. A cigarette would feel good with it too but there’s no one around I could grub from…

I’ve taken only a few sips of my precious drink when I see a familiar hat appearing at the entrance and in a few seconds, its owner plops down opposite me, munching a banana.

“The prodigal son has returned, huh?” I remark with a wide grin.

“I know you missed me, just admit it.” he answers with a deadpan. “God, I’m starving…” he grabs the menu and begins to study it.

“A coffee, sir?” the waitress emerges again and spills coffee in his cup too without waiting for the answer. “What can I get for you?” she inquires helpfully as she pulls a small notebook with a pen out of the pocket of her apron.

“One Aspirin and a bullet in my head, please.” Mike groans with a dark face.

“Excuse me sir?”

“Give us a few more minutes, please.” I try to send a “don’t ask” signal with my eyes and it seems to work because she leaves with a confused nod.

“The last time I saw you, you felt sick. But somehow you must have resurrected like a phoenix from its ashes since you were out all night… so… go ahead.” I lean back but my bandmate is avoiding my gaze, turning his head around like he was distracted by the interesting furniture of the diner.

“Look, it’s Judy over there!” he shouts pointing at the counter.

“Mike… no… please…” I groan in pain but it’s too late.

“Hey Jude!” he shouts and waves frantically.

Great… I bury my face into my palms.

Unfortunately, Mike comes to the brilliant idea of stretching his leg along the seat he’s sitting on while she’s approaching us; so by the time she gets to our booth, her only option is sitting down next to me. Which she isn’t willing to do, she’s just sending reproving looks at me until I realize the reason of her reluctance is my right arm on the backrest. When I remove it, she slides in the booth as far from me as possible, she’s probably sitting with half butt on the air.

“Hi Judy.” Mike greets her pulling his small metal flask out of the inner pocket of his jacket.

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.” she tries to tear it out of his hand without even greeting us.

“Easy Jude, it’s empty, okay? It’s just a bad habit that I keep checking it.”

“Anyway, I doubt he would begin the day with spirits, seeing he was drinking the whole night…”

“What?” she screams outraged.

“Jesus, are you blind? He’s, like, the quintessence of hangover, circles under the eyes, grey face, he looks like a dirty dish cloth…”

“Jesus, guys, do you really have to talk so loud??? Anyway, thanks Stone, you know how to compliment…” Mike moans rubbing his forehead with his hand.

“I’m just telling the truth. Come on, tell us how did you get so fucked up… or… no… I don’t want to know the details.”

“You probably think I got wasted with a few local dudes I don’t even know and I fell asleep in the corner and when I woke up, I realized someone had drawn a dick on my cheek.”

“You left out the pissing-and-puking part but yeah, sort of. Ouch!” I whine when she tosses me with a strict face at full strength in the shoulder. “What’s wrong with you, do you think he’s a saint or what?” I complain.

“Don’t even listen to him, unlike him, I’m interested in the details. So tell me… were there pubic hair on the dick too?” she leans closer confidentially, flashing a cheeky smile and however much annoying I find her, I can’t help snorting.

“Jesus, six of one, half a dozen of the other.” Mike rolls his eyes. “Anywayyy… I wasn’t with some unknown dudes… but I wasn’t alone either…” he shrugs with a mysterious smile.

“Okay, you’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final. I don’t want you to get sued by teen moms from every single town we stop in.” I shake my head.

“Not that I’m the Casanova of the band, are we going to talk about the favors you’ve done to Seattle’s female population too? Do you begrudge me it or what?”

“I’ve had a long string of girlfriends, so what?”

“What?” our band parrot squeaks in again.

“A long string? There’s a herd of them!” Mike goes on.

“Just stop!” she screams and we both fall silent, surprised by her sudden outburst. “I’m new here. Explain.” she adds in a mellower voice.

“Judith, maybe you should improve your “reading between the lines” skills. My colleague is trying to say that he spent the night with a female acquaintance, I guess we can call her like that with some euphemism. And I recommended some fertility restrictions regarding Mike’s wasted adventures are like the cliché bad examples in sexual education videos.”

“As if you…” my bandmate is about to reply but he gets interrupted by the returning lovely waitress, and honestly, I don’t mind, somehow I don’t want him to reveal my dating history before the girl who never misses any occasion to point out my flaws.

“Did you manage to choose in the meantime?” she inquires.

“I’d like to have… scrambled eggs with ham and a sesame seed bun, fresh orange juice, pancakes with maple syrup, a peanut butter sandwich and chocolate chips with vanilla ice.” Mike reads enthusiastically.

“A sunny-side up with bacon and a cherry pie á la RR.” my neighbor lists.

“A vegetarian cheese plate and I’d like to try that deliciously sounding pie too.” I smile at the waitress.

“It’s even better than you think, Sir.” she winks back at me and as I watch her collecting the menus, I can see Camden’s disgusted face from the corner of my eye.

“Sooo… a Twin Peaks fan, huh?” I nudge her. “From now on, I’m gonna call you Nadine, it suits you in every sense.”

“Nice try, Bob… Anyway, Mike, if this is your hangover appetite, what is your normal state like? I got nausea even of listening to you…”

“I burned a lot of calories last night so…” he grins proudly, making me cackle up.

“Here we are, I want details!” I imitate a drum snare with my palms on the table.

“Jesus, guys, are you really going to disc…” Miss Prudery clucks in but luckily, my bandmate ignores her whining.

“It was… wild.” he smirks firmly.

“Wilder than that escort girl in L.A.?” I giggle since this is one of my favorite stories with which I tease Mike from time to time and it’s also a great topic to outrage this first communicant next to me.

“What? Mike? You’ve paid for sex???” Bingo.

“How many times I have to tell that…” Mike pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers with a nervous gasp. “Judy, it wasn’t the way you think… when I was living in L.A. with the Friel brothers, I met a nice waitress at a concert venue… we sort of hooked up, she’d visit me at the record store I’d work at… she was busted all the time so I’d lend her my spare money, I mean what I didn’t spend on booking gigs for us… and Chris Friel tried to warn me gently that every time I’d give her money, we’d sex afterwards… and once we ended up in a strip club after a gig and I found out she was a stripper, she worked there, I mean, she was dropping her clothes right in front of me… and she wasn’t only stripping. So I realized that what I thought to be a friends with benefits situation was actually a prostitute-client relationship, she was just too good-hearted to enlighten me. Stone, are you happy now???”

“Awww, Mike, this is so sad… but it’s also somehow so sweet… I hope you got a discount at least. But what’s with that girl from last night? What’s her name?”

“Someone has suddenly become curious, interesting…” I throw in.

“Errrr… her name was…”

“Jesus, Camden, you know nothing about one-night-stands, don’t you?” I ask to buy Mike some time but to be honest, I don’t know what to think seeing the industrial amount of condoms I found in her toiletry bag last night. Either is she a wild cat and a really god actress at the same time or this tour is like a project for her to get rid of her virginity. Ten times at least. And Jeff Ament has the honor to assist. Jesus.

“Why, I only asked…”

“He doesn’t know shit about her, let alone her name.”

“You banged…” she yells but realizing everyone looks at us, she suddenly takes the volume back “You had sex with her and you didn’t even ask her name?” she whispers between her teeth.

“Why? Names are overrated. Anyway, she introduced herself, I just… can’t remember her name anymore. And she didn’t even care about my name either.”

“Judith, I understand this is new to you, you probably insist on swapping business cards before petting and ask the guy even to show his ID before the penetration but in most cases, these things are going in a simpler way…” I use the occasion to torture her a bit and she starts reddening so much that I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

“Hey Stoney, don’t mock her! Jude, there’s nothing wrong with being cautious. I mean, the social security number can even be useful in case your partner suffers a sex injury.” he tries to help her out clumsily and glances at me for reassurance.

“Yeah, let alone the blood type in case he needs a transfusion after the experience.” I scoff.

“Could we go back to Mike’s experience?” she squints towards me with popped eyes making a nervous gesture. “I hope you had protection…”

“Jesus, of course, she was prepared…”

“She??? Mike, how can you be so irresponsible, it’s always the guy’s task, I would never ever… go out with a guy who expects me to provide him with condoms, Jesus…”

Ha. The little liar…

“Are we seriously analyzing these details? I mean, how was the chick?” I exclaim, earning one more toss arriving from my right side.

“She was… nice. I mean, she had that crazy vibe… It was weird, everything was okay until we left to her place, we drank, we played pool, she started flirting, I reciprocated it and so on… At one point, she threw herself on me, by the time I realized what’s happening, she was basically already licking my tonsils… not that I minded. So she dragged me to her place.”

“That doesn’t sound that bad…” I grin.

“Something tells me there was a “but” in the story…” the queen of condoms reacts ignoring my remark.

“Well yeah… she disappeared in the kitchen to bring more booze, so I turned on the TV, I thought some decent erotic channel wouldn’t hurt in the process but I stopped at a documentary, it was filmed in Kenya, I think, with beautiful shots and interesting narrations… she came back at the part on mating lions, she asked me if liked it, I found her question odd but I answered “of course” and she got completely hysterical.”

“How… how do you mean?” she asks fidgeting anxiously with her coffee mug.

“She… she freaked out saying she couldn’t believe I’m into that too. It so strange, out of context, I guess it was probably some dark secret with his ex, so I didn’t ask.”

What a coincidence!

“Interesting, the same…” I reply but a nervous little hand beats me in the thigh under the table. What the hell is she doing?

“Go… go on Mike, and what happened after that?” she inquires with a forced smile.

“I managed to calm her down, switched to Playboy channel, and you know… we begin to get  into the thing on the couch… but my stomach started rumbling, I was starving since I hadn’t eaten the whole day. So I asked her if I could grab some food before we… you know… and she almost begin to cry, explaining she never mixes food into sex, it was so incoherent, I couldn’t even understand what’s happening…” he recalls causing me a lightbulb moment.

“Jesus Mike, I know why she acted like that…” I exclaim chuckling since it I know this is more than a simple coincidence, his story has too much in common with my conversation with Claudia. Actually, now that it’s not about me, it actually sounds funny. Hilariously funny, I can’t stop shaking of repressed laughter… But those restless fingers pinch me in the thigh this time and when I turn right to challenge her, all I can see are two, huge, warm, brown eyes, begging me concerned… and suddenly I realize what they are trying to say.

“And why?” Mike asks back. Okay, I have to find out something, and I have to do it fast, think…

“Because… because… she chickened out!”

“Yes, that must have been the reason.” she agrees as quickly as possible. Okay, crisis averted.

“She didn’t.” Mike smirks. “She finally allowed me to grab some snacks and then… mature content.” he illustrates with fitting hand moves the events. “Okay, she turned out to be into rodeo roleplay, which was new to me but… after all, it was fun.” he shrugs not too convincingly.

“Was she wearing boots with spurs?”

“Damn, Camden, you always grasp the most important details…”

“She wasn’t… but she had a hat made bondage stuff to me but it was fine.”

Our meals arrive in the meantime but somehow the consumption of my vegan cheese plate seems to be incompatible with the picture of the naked Mike tied to a bed and ridden by Claudia only wearing a cowboy hat.

“A lot of people are into it but of course, there are different levels.” our troublemaker plays the expert with her mouth full.

“It was the enjoyable level bondage. Anyway, she had one more outburst, when we were finished.” he tells stuffing a considerable pile of scrambled egg into his mouth. “After the action, she went out to the bathroom but she threatened to slit my throat if I’d follow her. Like, why would I do that?”

I snort but I manage to fake a cough fast enough not to be noticed by Mike and abused by the travel-size Terminator.

“I don’t know, shower sex?” she shrugs casually munching too. Like she knows.

“Yeah, but that’s a good thing, isn’t it? Whatever. Anyway, guys, how was your night?”

“Terrible.”

“Awful.” we answer at once.

“Why, was it because of the motel or…?”

“I had nightmares… I mean, during that one single hour I slept. I didn’t really dare fall asleep because of the cockroaches… and I kept dreaming about them.” she begins to play with the food pushing it around on the plate.

“Stone, you had nightmares too?”

“Oh, no… although I had every reason to do so. I don’t know, the bed was uncomfortable.”

There’s an awkward silence. Mike devotes all his attention to his food and honestly, probably neither of us minds that he stops asking about last night. Anyway, as for the Claudia thing, she was right. He was proud of his conquest, facing him with the fact he was only a backup target would have totally ruined his confidence. I have to warn Scully too, he’s such a gossip. And Ed would certainly disapprove it but come on, Mike just wants to enjoy being the member of a rock band. He doesn’t fuck girls in every bush we pass by, I don’t think he should be executed for it. Jeff isn’t better either, drooling over you colleague, how immature and irresponsible…

“Hi Jeff!”

Speak of the devil. Anyway, why is she so suddenly so enthusiastic of seeing him?

“Hi guys. Wow, that looks good.” our bassist leans over to check my plate while Mike pulls his leg back to leave him space. Of course he couldn’t do that a few minutes earlier, so typical.

“If you ask me, it tastes better without Mike’s bizarre sex adventures but it’s a matter of taste.”

“Bizarre sex adventures? Something tells me I have to catch up.” he laughs. “How are you, Judy? You disappeared tomorrow so early.”

“Thanks, I’m fine, I was just…tired. Look, Jeff, I was thinking… if you wanna hang out today before the show? I mean, you said you’d show me a few chords and…”

I can’t believe my ears. What made her change her mind? If Dave’s jealousy trick worked out, I have to re-evaluate my knowledge about dating.

“Sure.” Jeff’s face lights up. “Anytime.”

“Aaaanytime, Juuudy…” I mock. ”Just don’t forget to put some money in his G-string.” I add mumbling.

“Jesus, Stone, you’re gross!” Mike drops his fork annoyed.

“I’m the gross? Remember, Mike…” I’m ready to remind him of his various drunk performances but as the debate is about to get heated, Eric shows up in the diner followed by Ed and Beth.

“Guys, we have a problem…”

[klanceficatalogue]

You guys are all doing an amazing job! Just wondering if there are any fantasy au’s that you would recommend that are just pure fluff? I’m running out and I need to stock back up for the next few weeks! Thank you so much!

thank you!!

fantasy tag

Nightshade (1/1 | 8,145 | Teen And Up)

“Finally ready to let me into your heart, Babe?” Lance cooed. He started, “I knew you couldn't resist -”

Keith placed his hand over Lance’s. Lance looked quickly at the other man’s hand then back at Keith, words lost. Keith leaned in close enough that under the crappy fluorescents, Lance could determine that Keith’s eyes were a smouldering steel blue. If he hadn't blinked it might have even seemed to glow. Lance’s mouth felt dry, unable to form legible sentences as proper responses mashed and jumbled on his tongue. Keith had never actually flirted back; Lance didn't actually have a backup plan for if he ever did.

“You've got me there,” Keith replied. His smile became toothy, sharp. “I really couldn’t resist.”

or, Delivery Boy Lance unknowingly falls for a werewolf who gets Full Moon Cravings

Flower Boy, Magic Boy by MilkTeaMiku (1/1 | 3,000 | General)

A flower born from magic seemed like a very heartfelt, very profound gift. Lance started to like Keith a little more after thinking that. Anyone who saw the great value in his flowers made him happier to work for them.-Lance's family runs a business creating magical flowers. When an order from a fiery customer comes in, it's entrusted to Lance to fulfil.

(shallura)

That One Time Lance Brought A Wolf Home by Kivea (1/1 | 4,211 | Teen And Up)

‘Lance, that isn’t a dog.’

In hindsight, he probably should’ve known. But he didn’t. All he knew was that there was an injured animal in the bushes by their apartment, and he wasn’t about to leave it for dead. It’s just that he’d assumed it was a particularly big dog. Like an off-coloured German Shepard or something. Black fur and beautiful eyes that danced with stars like the night sky.

But no, it wasn’t a dog. He wasn’t a dog. Judging from the pained look on Pidge’s face he really, really should’ve known.

‘Does it matter?’ Lance threw his arms in the air. ‘He was injured! I wasn’t about to abandon a cute animal like this outside! Not when we have heating and a first aid kit.’

‘Uhuh,’ Pidge gripped the bridge of her nose. ‘And did you manage to get that first aid kit to fix his problems?’

‘Well…’ he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. ‘No. I didn’t. I don’t know the first thing about animals.’

[cadenceoftherain]

I HAVE!! Nico going back home after an exhausting day at work (a storm outside) and then finding her best friend Karolina cooking in her kitchen - they aren’t roommates, Karo just have a key. “Bad day?” “Not anymore, not with you here.” and then after some fluff Karolina says she loves her and Nico freezes, Karo run away thinking that she made a mistake, she takes the elevator and leaves. Nico runs after her (she takes the stars because fuck she’s too late to stop the elevator now) and then +

I hope this is good, I wrote most of it with like three hours of sleep to claim 😂 this was fun though, my stuff usually drags forever and I feel like this could be a real learning opportunity. Thank you for the submission! 😘

_____________________________________________

Anger seethed from the very core of her being. Above, the sky was dumping buckets of rain, uncaring and joyful despite the utter misery of underprepared pedestrians. Footfalls squelched in soggy shoes and echoed against concrete and steel beams as Nico Minoru approached her apartment. She looked longingly at the elevator, but with the lightning she'd rather not risk getting stuck in it. Up two flights of stairs, who were now showing signs of being trampled often after nearly three years of tenancy, and she was home, ready to shed her sodden clothes and fall into the arms of her couch and not rise again until she had to go back to that godforsaken hell hole. 

Surely she was deserving of basic fucking human decency. Surely after working her ass off for three years she deserved some sort of "thank you" and that promotion would have been fantastic, but no. Not even a little pay raise had come her way. She had been raised to be persistent, to be stalwart and headstrong. Instead, she'd grown stubborn and proud and couldn't bear to hold her current position much longer. Her attributes would be put to better use elsewhere, she knew, and had been anxiously checking her email to see if a potential hire had taken a nibble at her resumé. 

Thunder struck and lightning flashed just as she reached her door, finally under the shelter of the awning. Her key slid in easily, but Nico saw there was no need upon opening the door. It was no unusual thing to come home and find her best friend hanging around. They'd had keys to each other's living spaces for years now, and could usually be found at one or the other at any given time.

Pop music could be heard from the kitchen, and very poor singing accompanied it. Something smelled amazing too, was that curry? God, she hoped it was curry. 

Once inside, Nico sloughed off her hoodie, soaked completely through before throwing it into the dryer. 

"Nico? That you?" A voice called, and Nico's heart lifted. The music paused as Karolina rounded the corner, a smile gracing her already angelic features. It quickly slipped, however, when she saw how badly Nico had fared in the storm. "I'll grab you some towels," 

"Thanks, Kar," Nico called to her retreating figure, and then decided she might as well throw everything else in the dryer too. Silently, she prayed her phone had survived. It was water-resistant, after all, but with the day she'd had…

By some divine power, her phone was spared, and she blew out a long, slow breath and continued stripping down. 

At least that's one positive thing for today, she thought. And I don't have to cook tonight. And it might be curry. 

Karolina returned with two fresh towels, blushing furiously when she caught Nico naked in the laundry room. She was grateful she had cooking to tend to as she made her way back to the kitchen, unwilling to let her eyes stray. "Bad day?" She called out, hoping Nico didn't notice how high her voice sounded. 

Nico, of course, did not. "Not anymore, with you here. Work fuckin' sucked though," she replied. "They passed me for promotion. Again. I've been there the longest and I've now trained all my supervisors." 

"I'm sorry," Karolina said, coming back from the kitchen satisfied the chicken wasn't in danger of burning. She should have stayed there, however. 

One towel wrapped around Nico's waist, the other was on her head as she dried her hair, leaving a very naked, very toned, torso completely bare and covered in goosebumps. 

Clearing her throat, she kept her eyes strictly trained on Nico's face. "Well, I'd hoped we'd be having a celebratory dinner tonight, but that's okay, we can drink and hope for better tomorrow." 

Nico had to laugh at that. "As soon as I get an offer, an attractive offer or even a mediocre offer, I'm quitting. Then we can really celebrate. What are you cooking?" 

"Your favorite." 

Nico smiled fully then, any dark moods or thoughts forgotten. "Thank the Goddess above, I love you."

Karolina's heart flipped in her chest. 

"It'll be ready soon if you want to get some clothes on. Should be done by the time you get back." 

With the promise of hot curry, Nico bolted to her bedroom. 

Karolina took the time to put the finishing touches on the dish and make their plates, being generous with Nico's portions. In the dining room, she set the table and poured wine, this time her favorite blackberry bottle, and lit a few candles. 

Nico returned a few minutes after and glanced down at her choice of dress. It was nothing special, just leggings and a faded T-shirt. "I feel underdressed." 

Karolina chuckled. "It's just dinner, Nico." 

"It was just dinner, then you added wine and candles," she retorted, but took her seat all the same. After a day like hers, she was not going to waste time when she had curry in front of her. 

They are in companionable silence, Nico savoring every bite and Karolina savoring her enthusiasm. When they were finished, they moved into the living room with their wine and the bottle. 

Nico is finally relaxed now, leaned back against the cushions as the wine found its way to her bloodstream. 

"I really appreciate this, Kar," Nico murmurs. She was warm and dry now, and perhaps a touch wine-drunk. Had it been two glasses? One? She wasn't sure, but something about wine always had her feeling looser than it should. She didn't mind it, though. 

The other blushed lightly and sipped from her glass. She could hold her wine more easily, but her nerves had her stomach tied in knots. The wine felt thick in her throat and acidic in her mouth. 

"I certainly don't mind, but I wish it were under better circumstances." 

"Eh, one day," Nico sighed. 

"There's something I'd like to talk with you about," Karolina began, building her nerve. She carefully leaned forward and set her glass on the coffee table, facing Nico fully. 

Whatever wine-haze she'd found quickly fled as she grew nervous. "What's going on? Is everything okay?" 

"Everything's fine, I just need to tell you something." 

"Okay…?" Nico arched a brow. 

"I… I'm proud of you." Karolina diverted suddenly. "You probably don't hear that at your job very often, but I can see how much you care, and thought you should know someone appreciates you." 

Nico was touched, but still cautious. "I… thank you, Kar. I feel like there might have been more--" 

"And I love you." She rushed out, her heart pounding in her chest.

The girl balked. "I love you, too, Karrie." She said softly. It was no unusual thing to express feelings of love and familiarity, but this was different. Somehow. Karolina was watching her carefully, almost frightfully, afraid to sit too close or speak too softly.

A deep part of her swooned at that nickname, but she couldn't let herself get distracted by it. "I mean… I've felt this way for… a while now and I wanted to be honest with you about it… I'm in love with you Nico." 

Ocean eyes were pleading as Nico stared back at her blankly, then with startling clarity as the words sank in. 

"Oh. Oh. Oh, fuck."

And her heart shattered. 

"You know what, just don't even worry about it, it's probably just wine talking, you know how wine gets you lusty, but I should probably just go, I'll, um, I'll call you tomorrow." And she was gone, before Nico could attempt to throw a complete sentence together. 

"No, Kar, I lamp--oh fuck," she said, scrambling to stand. She hastily threw on shoes and raced to the walkway where the distinct ding of the elevator solidified her fear. 

She had to race the elevator, and she was the slightest bit tipsy. She bolted down the stairs, nearly wiping out had it not been for the handrail, and desperately searched for Karolina. The rain was impossibly heavier now, hammering against asphalt and roof alike. It was hard to see, but she'd only been a few seconds late. 

"Karolina!" She called, desperate to shout over the cacophony of rain and thunder to no avail. The girl kept walking, shoulders hunched in the onslaught of rain. "Karolina!" She tried again, taking leaping strides to catch up with her. She finally made it, her hand wrapping around Karolina's wrist as she tugged her to a stop.

She turned, her tears hidden by rain. "Nico, it's okay really, I can get over it just-" 

Nico had to stretch up on her toes to reach, but she was just tall enough to capture Karolina's lips. She halted any further thought, and the world fell away. She was warm against her, though wet, too. Her lips were impossibly soft and she wondered how sweet her mouth was. Daringly, she darted out the tip of her tongue, begging entrance.

Karolina obliged, her hands coming up to cup Nico's face gingerly. She swooned when she felt Nico's arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer as her tongue slipped past her lips. It was hungry, but not forceful. Desperate, but not needy. 

Breaking away, Karolina pressed her forehead to the other's, breathing unsteadily. Neither spoke for a moment, content to hold and be held while rain poured over top of them. 

"How long?" Nico asked softly. 

A gentle chuckle shook her form. "Always? I didn't… I didn't know if you'd reciprocate, and I didn't want to lose you…" 

"Karrie, I've had a crush on you since the third grade." Nico admitted, pulling back to meet the girl's eyes. "Every year for Valentine's day, I made a card for you. Everyone else got the standard drugstore, fill-out-the-names-and-throw-some-candy-in-it cards, but not you. Never you. And I continued that into high school and college in the name of some silly tradition, but really to comfort myself and the idea that I might never get to give you one for real. So I would pretend one day out of the year. I didn't want to lose you either, I didn't want to scare you." 

That was deep. Deeper than expected. Karolina could only listen with rapt attention and kiss her again. "You've really crushed on me since third grade?" 

Nico laughed, the sound music to Karolina. "Yes, really. I've loved you for a long time, Kar." 

She couldn't resist another kiss. And another. And another. Thrilled that she could, thrilled that it was wanted, that she didn't have to ignore the fire in her chest anymore. 

"Why don't we go back inside?" Nico asked, her lips teasing the edge of the blonde's jaw. "We can get dried off again and talk about what we'd like to do, or we can just see how it plays out. Either way, I have pajamas with your name on them, a bottle of wine, and a queen-sized bed with no one to share it with." 

Karolina chuckled at that, and stole one more kiss. "I'd love nothing more." 

FIN

[anavi-ivy]

… This is your sentence, Karris. And I am confused. Who?… HIGH RES-FILES: This picture on Imgur: https://imgur.com/a/wnLs59Y This picture on Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/anavi-ivy/art/Warframe-This-Is-Your-Sentence-808799871

Art block hit me hard this time and I decided to break it by changing art style~ 

© Andrijana Josifovic (Anavi-Ivy)

[karij]

OCtober Writing Prompts Day 19 - Reversed Personality

It’s cold and dark. I can feel cracked flagstones beneath my bare feet. Dark. So dark. I can’t think, can’t breathe. I look around desperately for any sign of light… there! It’s faint but there’s something low to the ground, off in the distance. Light, blessed light. 

I start running as fast as I can, tripping and stumbling in my desperation to reach the light, and then… a shadow swings down. A horrible, squelching noise. A cry of pain. And the light is gone. I fall to my knees, crying out in fear. The light is gone! There’s nothing but the dark, pressing in, suffocating me. Then… it’s back. Smaller, fainter, but coming closer. 

I reach for it as it approaches, tears of terror running down my cheeks. As it gets closer I can’t help but feel I’m forgetting something. Something important. Haven’t I been here before? Done this before? There’s a figure in the light that's coming closer. They seem familiar. The dim light reflects from their gleaming armor. Hobnailed boots clack on the cobblestones with each step. A huge weapon rests on their shoulder, an axe. It seems to absorb the light that ought to reflect off of it. Even without touching it it feels cold, an unearthly chill. And the figure, they’re short, even for a halfling. Almost my height. No, exactly my height. I remember now. My eyes widen with the horror of recognition and I scramble backwards, wanting to scream but not remembering how. 

But I can’t get away from the light. That horrible light. I know what it is now and I don’t want to see it. But it’s getting closer. She’s getting closer, both of them. No! This isn’t how it happened, leave me alone! The tempo of hobnails on stone picks up, just slightly. They’re closing in. I flip over to my stomach, scrambling away on all fours. I have to get away! I can’t do this, not again! But a gauntleted hand grabs my ankle and drags me back towards that hateful light. A ragged sob of terror escapes from my lips, no, no! Let me go! I kick and flail in a useless attempt to escape but they flip me over onto my back and plant a boot on my chest, pinning me in place.

I cover my face with my hands, no, not again! Leave me alone! A familiar voice rings out. Soft yet firm. Confident. Mine. Or… it was.   

“What’s wrong Karri?” I can’t look, I know what I’ll see. “You should be happy! We did it!”

I shake my head, still covering my face. No. No this is wrong! The voice is frustrated now.

“This is what we wanted! Why are you hiding from it?” She’s angry, but I can’t look. I can’t. “We did it! We did it for you! Look, damnit!” 

A clatter of metal as something heavy hits the flagstones. Then she’s reaching down, she’s grabbing my wrist and pulling it away. I fight but she’s too strong for me, I cover my eyes with my other hand. She forces my wrist down and pins it with her other boot. She reaches down and pulls my other hand away, holding it tight. I scream and struggle but it’s no use. She roars now, so incredibly angry.

“Look! Look at what we did, together! Look at me!”

I don’t want to. I don’t want to but I can’t hide from the light, it filters through my eyelids. My eyelids flicker open against my will and I sob. No! I don’t want to look, this is wrong! But I do. And there she is. There they both are. Kendra, standing over me. Dark hair pulled back into a braid, my green eyes looking down at me, tears of fury dripping down her cheeks, my cheeks. And hanging from her right hand, dangling by her golden locks. Her head. Tredora Goldenbrow. Her blue eyes dull, her mouth gaping. That cry before… it was hers.

I look away, tears of terror running down my face. I gasp, trying to choke out a reply. Kendra looks down at me. She’s confused, she’s angry. I can’t fight her. 

“What? What is it? Are you happy?” She shakes the head, blood splattering from the open neck. “We did it! She’s dead. That’s what you wanted isn’t it? Justice.” 

“No!” I choke it out, gasping for breath, “No! This.. isn’t what happened! This is wrong!”

Kendra snarls, a vicious, hateful noise I hope that I’ve never made. “No, it didn’t happen. Because you were too weak to make it happen. Because you let HIM stop you.” She glares down at me, disdainful. “You were always weak-willed Karri. But together… when you were me, you at least pretended to be strong. Now you’re just a whimpering little girl. Again.”

“N-no!” I shake my head, “You’re wrong! I’m not weak, I’m just not…” 

“Not what?” 

“I’m not you!” I’m screaming now, trying to convince myself as much as her. “I’m not a killer like you! I’m not… I’m not like you! What you did was wrong! I didn’t know!” 

Kendra looks startled, confused. “What are you talking about, Karri?” She narrows her eyes. “We killed them all together. I’ve been with you since Donnard, since before. I was with you for Teskerwill, for the Prince, for all of them.” She laughs, incredulous. “I was with you for Tredora too, but apparently that wasn’t enough to stop you from being pushed aside.” 

“I… I’m not like you! I’m not you! You’re just a fake!”   

“Really?” Her eyes are hard now, judging. “Because from where I’m standing, I’m the one who saved Brindol. Without me you’d be lying in a ditch. You need me. Without me, you’re just a scared peasant girl running away from home. Mother’s little disappointment.” 

“I don’t- I’m not-” She’s wrong, she’s lying! “I don’t need you! I hate you!” 

She stops and looks down, she looks tired. “I know.” She shakes her head and looks back up at me. Her eyes are sad, angry too. “I know you hate me, Karri. I just don’t know why.” She lets go of me and steps back. Dropping Tredora, crossing her arms. “We did so many things together. We were heroes together, but you threw me away. And now you’re starting over without me.”

“That’s… we only thought we were heroes.” I’m tired too. I just want this to be over. “It was a lie. We weren’t heroes. We were pawns. They just told us what we wanted to hear.”

“No.” She looks down, her face tight and angry. “No! We saved people, we saved Brindol! We did amazing things! I don’t care what happened after, we were heroes Karri! And you gave it up!” Her eyes are filled with tears, running now. “You threw it away with your self pity. You could have done so much! We could have been the greatest heroes ever seen, we could have been legends! Why? Why did you quit? We could have-” She stops with a gasp of pain, cut off mid sentence. A silver blade protrudes from her chest, thrust through her back. I know that blade. I look up, and there he is. Sidhedan. Tall, clad in flowing black. Utterly pitiless, his face blank despite the brutality of his actions. He twists the blade free and she falls to the ground. Dead.

I just stare up at him, terrified, as the light dies. And then I’m left there in the dark as he fades from view. And I’m alone. This is just a dream. He can’t hurt me here. She can’t hurt me anymore. She’s gone. She’s dead. I fall to my side, curled sobbing in a ball in the endless dark, waiting for morning.

[official-impravidus]

should i finish this?

This is a French Mistake fic I wrote about The Flash and Supergirl. What do you think? (The spacing is really weird for some reason)

“Breach incoming!” Team Flash cautiously approached the breach room, prepared for any hostile enemy that could enter. Instead, a familiar Kryptonian popped through.

“Kara! Hey!” Barry went to give her a hug but she held her hand up. It was only then he noticed how out of breath she was.

“No… time…” she pulled his arm. “Speedster… breached… come…”

After speeding off to get his suit, the two hopped dimensions.

“We have time. Catch your breath,” Barry instructed the blonde girl. She shook her head.

“We don’t have time. This woman opens breaches at such a fast speed that it catches people as they run away. People of National City have been disappearing, all after coming in contact with her, we don’t truly know the extent of her powers.”

He nodded as listened. “And what about the speedster?”

“She is the speedster.”

His mouth went slightly agape, now understanding the severity of this foe. “Well we just have to be faster.” Kara took one last deep breath and blasted into the sky, Barry following close after.

Unlike speedsters connected to the speed force, this woman didn’t have lightening. In fact, she didn’t have any indicators that she should be moving that fast, making her harder to track and harder to follow. Her transdimensional connection to the multiverse was impossible to track unlike breaches, and before Kara and Barry could even process what was in front of them, they were running full speed into one of her breaches.

“Alright cut! That’s it for today! Great job everyone.” Kara and Barry looked around in confusion and concern. A group of people stood around them with cameras, chairs, and lights, all clapping.

“Uh thank you?” Barry responded to the strangers. The people dispersed into their own conversations, cleaning their equipment and grabbing their things. “Kara?” Barry whispered.

“Yeah, Barry?” She responded, relieved that this was the Barry she knew.

“Where are we?”

The two wandered around the populated area, trying to find any leads.

“We must be in a parallel universe. Just, which one?” Kara whispered.

“Obviously it’s one where we exist. They didn’t seem to not recognize us. Maybe this us was filming a message to National City.” He responded. Before he could continue, a man approached the two.

“Grant, Melissa, there was a change to tomorrow’s script. Jesse cut the DEO scene and added a new apartment scene. The pandering to the Karry shippers will boost the ratings for sure.” The man smiled and handed the two packets of paper. “Get some good rest. Tomorrow the fight scene.” He pat Barry on the shoulder and went his own way.

“Kara, I don’t have my powers.”

She tried to use hers with no prevail. “I don’t have mine either.” She sighed. “This is Music Meister all over again.”

“Wait. He didn’t call us Kara and Barry. He called us Melissa and Grant. That must be our doppelgängers.”

She pointed her finger, perking up at the realization. “So if we can find out more about them, maybe we can find how to get home…” A woman approached the two, making Kara cut off her sentence.

“Make sure you get your costumes back to costumes before you head out.”

“And where should we do that?” He asked the woman. She laughed.

“Oh, right, your trailers. We had to move them during the shoot. They’re just past the food table, on the right.” She pointed.

“Thanks so much. Have a good night.” The two speed walked to the trailer marked “Grant Gustin” and “Melissa Benoist.”

“These must be it,” Kara stated.

Barry nodded. “Do you want to get changed and we can figure this out when we do whatever this us has to do.” He motioned to his suit.

“But I don’t want to leave my Supergirl outfit.”

He sighed. “Neither do I. But if that’s what they would do, we have to too.”

She nodded. “You’re right. Meet me back here when you’re done, okay? I’ll try to get into Melissa’s phone or laptop so we can do some research on who we are now.”

Nodding, Barry entered his trailer, gawking at the amenities for a moment before changing into normal clothes. He didn’t enjoy losing his powers once more, but recently he hadn’t been misusing them for menial daily tasks.

Kara had an easier time changing out of her Supergirl outfit and changing into something that was much more Kara Danvers than Melissa Benoist. She returned her dress to costumes, after getting lost on the way, and came back to her trailer, rummaging through Melissa’s things before finding her phone. She was surprised to see a photo of her and Mon-El as the screensaver.

Barry entered the trailer, turning her attention away from the phone. “Hey, I’m back.”

She opened the phone, pointing at the screensaver to him. “What’s with this?”

Barry took the phone and typed in Melissa Benoist. “Well it seems Mon-El here is actually someone named Chris Wood.”

“Huh. He doesn’t seem much of a Chris.”

Barry continued to type. “That’s not all. He is your fiancé.”

Kara’s eyes went wide. “Oh no. You can’t be serious.”

“That’s what Google says, at least.” Barry pointed to the articles.

“I can’t face Mon-El here! He’s married and from the future and not in my life anymore. I just moved on.” She buried her face in her hands.

“There’s more.”

She looked up. “What do you mean?”

“Well, we’re pretty famous.” He continued to surprise himself as he scrolled through Wikipedia. “Melissa Benoist has been on Broadway and portrays the character Supergirl on CW.”

“What about you?” She asked.

“Weird,” he muttered seeing the articles with his face but that had nothing to do with the real him. “Apparently he’s known for a musical show called Glee, being Baby John in West Side Story on Broadway, and for playing Barry Allen on The Flash.

“So we aren’t even real here. We are characters on a TV show?”

Barry sighed. “I guess we are.”

“Okay, think Barry. This isn’t a normal breacher because there would be two versions of us, right? Instead we replaced Melissa and Grant with us.”

“So does that mean they are in our universe?” Barry asked.

She shook her head. “When we were in National City people were disappearing.”

“So, maybe we are in a new universe entirely. Maybe we got misplaced in time and space and when we leave, they’ll come back.”

Kara snapped into a finger gun, indicating that he was on the same page as her. “But how do we get out?”

“This obviously isn’t like our mind musical, because we don’t follow any sort of plot. Maybe we have to find our way out. A portal or a breach.”

“But we don’t have our powers,” she interjected.

Dejected, he responded, “you’re right.”

“Maybe if we find Cisco then…”

“He doesn’t exist on this earth. His name is Carlos Valdez and he is very much just human.”

[the-salamanders-xo]

Humans Are Space Orcs: A Mash Up

My first post has over 300 notes, and given I have like, 9 followers (hiya peeps!), that's great. Gonna try for a short (ish) story thats been rattling around my head for a bit, see how it works out.

This may have several parts, so hold on to ya butts!

~~~

Karry huddled in the corner of the cramped compartment in which she had spent all too long. Outside the sealed doors the drag of inhuman feet drifted and echoed through the vast emptiness of the ship, and she knew from painful experience that very, very few of their owners where friendly.

Only a few days before she had emerged from relative safety to seek water and food, driven by the pains in her belly and brain and the instinct to survive. Food and water had been found, but so had the owners of those echoing noises.

The ship, once the palace-ship of some Collector's race, stuffed with samples of riches and flora and fauna of a thousand worlds, now in a period of weeks reduced to drifting wreckage, the original owner's bridge their tomb.

They had picked her up in the alley of some trash-strewn city on Earth, half frozen and starved, a homeless urchin of the streets and suburbs. At first she was grateful to be saved from certain death, but gratitude soon soured to resentment as she realized that they had no intention to let her go her own way.

She did not know what had caused the other prisoners to burst their bounds, or even what had allowed them to. Only that the ship had shuddered, the lights dimmed to near darkness, and no food or water had ever made their way to her small prison.

When hunger drove her out to search for necessities, the skills and habits learned from life on the streets served her well. Hiding in the shadows, listening to the sounds of the new rulers of the ship as the restlessly patrolled, and memorizing the way back to her sanctuary, it was four days before she saw her first true alien.

It was a corridor ripped and shredded by something Karry couldn't have even guessed at. Pipes and wires were exposed, and foam hardened by air marked where emergency systems had detected atmosphere leaks and engaged automatically.

She carefully contorted herself to avoid the wires and jagged metal shards, and so deep was her concentration that she almost didn't hear the sibilant hiss of the striking predator before it struck.

A sticky tongue of yellow and purple shot from the darkness of a section of enlightened corridor, catching the corner of her eye, and she twisted her head painfully to avoid the spikes and barbs that coated it's slimy membrane. It caught on a fallen plate of alloy, and pulled back with savage speed. The plate flew with it, whipping around and cracking against Karry's temple with a dull thud, spinning her to the deck. She fumbled for a handhold as she lost her footing and her vision with the blow, pulling a length of pipe from the wall with a groan.

Through tears of pain, her fingers cupping the side of her head, and the blood that began flowing sluggishly from beneath her hand, she saw the creature begin. To glow a sickly phosphorescent green as it crawled from hiding. Its glow revealed what remained of what ever victims it had already claimed as the metal plate dropped to its previous meals, great shells of keratin or bones and skulls from nothing Karry recognized. The alien, a great purple gelatinous mass of limbs and glowing organs, opened a great wide maw to strike at her again.

She raised her arm to protect herself, and the tongue struck the up raised long like a bat. Spines and barbs penetrated the thin jumpsuit she wore and into her flesh, binding and searing, before dragging her back towards a hungry maw. Her right arm clung to the bent pipe in the wall with desperate strength, even as she screamed from fear and pain and surprise and oh Lord the Pain! Adrenaline courses through her veins as the barbs tore and ripped her skin, and some sick venom poured I to her blood. The tongue lost it's grip just as the pipe separated from the wall with a loud clang, and Karry scrambled up from the deck to flee, swinging the pipe as a staff to part the wires.

In the corner of her eye the creature seemed to pause and it's light dim, and for a second she thought it would give up on her, but it's wide mouth opened again and it shot the tongue out again. This time it caught her foot, throwing her to the deck like a sack of potatoes and dragging her back toward the horror.

Twisting around she tried to hit the thing's appendage with the pipe, in hopes of releasing herself from it, but it did not seem to noticed her panic filled blows. With no other option, she kept swinging and a scream she later realized came from her echoed down the corridor. The pipe clanged against the deck again in her struggle, and again the creature lost it's grip on her and it's light dimmed. Now it was but a silhouette in the shadow, and Karry's brain connected the dots.

Sound. Sound was her key to escape.

Slamming her weapon to the deck, the metallic clang of sound definitely produced a reaction. The creature dimmed more, until only the cavernous mouth with it's sickly tongue could be seen retreating.

She struck the deck again and it retreated farther back. She slowly limped back the way she had came, blood and pain making her footing uncertain, but the metal pipe and it's noise kept the thing at bay.

Rounding the corner she hurried as best she could back to her small compartment, to the jury-rigged lock and door she had pried open in search of water and food, every sound and vibration making her freeze in place. Finally reaching safety, she collapsed against the sealed door, as panicked strength and wet tears dripped from her like rain. She didn't know how long she lay there, but when she finally stood, she nearly fell again from the pain.

The barbs and venom of the tongue had tore deep into her left arm and foot, and for a few terrifying moments after she had torn off strips from her suit and bound them over the wounds and the continued to bleed she thought she would die then and there from the loss of blood. But sure enough, the blood flow slowed and she slowly slumped against the bulkhead, too tired to even drag her self the few feet to the flat hard bed in the compartment. There she sat, silent tears of pain and fear, the fear of dying alone and far, oh so very far, from the only home she had ever know. Silently those tears fell, but before long they were joined with real sobs, the first sound besides panicked screams and pained breaths she had made since who knew when, before consciousness faded and she slumped down in sleep.

~~~

When the ship had been built, it was designed purely for the comfort and pleasure of its possessors. Denizens of a dying world, rich beyond measure and proud, so sickly proud of their race's superiority, they sought not only to escape the pull of the entropy of their civilization, but to deny such a thing had ever occurred. They wanted comfort, their bread and circuses, and so they fled.

At every world they came across, they stole a piece. A citizen, a gem, a new pet to amuse them, in their arrogance they did as they pleased, forever fleeing and denying their flight.

This was their end.

They made the mistake of abducting the four alien troops on a lonely outpost on an equally lonely moon, soldiers and warriors of a 'empire'. They laughed at the thought; how could something named a Klingon presume such?

When those Klingons voiced their objection to their imprisonment, they laughed. The second time, their so-called playthings did not give them the chance to do so again. They stormed the bridge, and decadent as they were they fought to the last, slain for their insult, the last of a meaningless breed. There, too, the Klingons perished, satisfied with their honorable deaths and in their revenge.

But as the automated systems remained. As parts and section walls failed, killing vital components and releasing the former playthings, the ship dropped out of its FTL drive. It drifted through the interstellar medium at a velocity humanity could never have dreamed of seeing, making Karry the first human to have traveled at anything close to relativistic speeds.

But no ship, however expensive or vast, nor the importance of purpose or lack thereof, is immune to physics. In the weeks after, eventually it began to pass through the very edges of a star system, and even in the vastness of space collisions happen.

~~~

An acrid smell wafted through the compartment, accompanied with a guttural language whose sharp tones pulled at Karry's ears. Bright lights instantly illuminated her face with unbearable intensity, and she blinked up at them.

"W-what? Who's there, what do you want?"

The ceiling chirped, and the voice spoke again. "Language verified: Terran, Eng-leesh. Repeating message. Attention all occupants: collision imminent. Please enter your designated crash-couch or rest-zone immediately. This is not a drill."

The ceiling chirped again as the voice, computerized and cold, fell silent, and the wall dislodged a panel, tilting down and opening. A bed, or something like it, like a tube or giant pipe. For a minute or two, Karry just stared, until the chirps came again.

"Please enter the rest-zone." The voice, now sounding slightly impatient, jarred her from her daze. Limping to the now-open capsule, she swung her injured leg up and in, laying herself down on the foam pad. She lay there for a moment.

"So, now wha-" Midway into her sentence, a sleeve of some rubber-plastic material for itself over her uninjured arm, and from the bottom of the enclosed space an amber gel spurted up, starting to enclose her legs and lower torso. "What?! Hey, the hell is going on? What is this stuff?"

A different voice, slightly deeper and slower, answered.

"Please remain calm. You are being monitored for elevated stress levels. To prevent injury, an anti-ballistic gel solution will enclose sufficient body mass to secure you. Do not be alarmed."

"Oh, right" Karry snapped. "Like being abducted, fighting off goo monsters, and being trapped in a coffin is going to do anything else!"

Silence ensued. Then:

"Medical scans indicate toxins in your system. Suggest immediate medical care. To stabilize your condition until such can be provided, you will be injected with a universal neutralizing agent."

Karry pounded her fist against the glass 'view plate' above her head. "How about no? Does that stuff even work on me? You're aliens! Or, maybe I am, but whatever!" She slammed the glass again. "Don't just pump me full of that crap!"

What ever it was, the computer charged with her medical care didn't seem to listen. The sleeve around her arm tightened, and a sharp prick told her that it was indeed injecting the agent. All she could do was fine in silence. The silence stretched on and on, with occasional chirps from the computer and a growing sense of dread. Imminent collision? What the heck was going on? Obviously no one was really controlling the ship anymore, it must be on autopilot or something.

And if they hadn't hit anything by now just how far away was this collision? Why hadn't it happened yet?

Every moment was a torment, but what came next was even worse.

"Attention," the computer said. "Collision in t-minus 30 seconds. Cyro-freeze initiated.” Karry felt sudden heat and cold flow from the sleeve and the needles jabbed beneath her skin, and the air was pumped out. 

“Wait, I can’t breathe-” The air left her lungs, just after the various compounds and chemicals flooded her system, shutting down every organ and microbe. Still trying to shout and pounding at the glass, Karry was left a statue frozen in cold-hardened gel, nervous signals frozen.

~~~

Moments after the ship wide shutdown, the ship and comet collided. Both were fragmented upon impact, shards of hull plating and chunks of icy rock scattered into the void. Karry’s compartment was left open to space, peeled like a fruit by the explosive decompression, and Karry’s unwilling refuge only meters away from cold space. 

There she floated, moving faster than most anything Man had ever flown, almost halfway to light speed, for how long she would not know...

Until the wreckage eventually found its way into another distant solar system, and the automatic distress beacons in her pod were heard by a lonely soldier among the stars.

~~~

So ends Part 1. My first try at sharing something of my story telling with someone besides a sibling, I hope it works just as well outside my head as in.

This will cross into Star Trek, mostly the DS9 and Next Generation stuff, and I’ll be trying to put in some stuff I’ve seen in other fiction. None of this is meant to violate copyright, it’s just fanfic and my mental musings, so hopefully this covers my butt if any lawyers come calling. 

Next part should be up within the month, so like, share and reblog if you like, cause that is my best motivation here. 

[littlelonghairedoutlawllho]

Phan Survey 2018

There have been a lot of new faces lately, so I thought maybe we could use this survey to get to know each other better, maybe find more kindred spirits to follow? (I, personally, also find it difficult to keep track of people across platforms, and I think this will help.)

Reblog or start a new post with your answers, and feel free tag people if you’d like! Don’t forget to use the #phansurvey2018 tag so we can find you!

(I clean forgot about doing this and then remembered it out of the blue this morning)

Basic info Name (or what we should call you): Shauna/LLHO Age: 23 Pronouns: she/her Location: Ireland Discord: shauna [littlelonghairedoutlaw] Rabb.it: not quite sure, actually FFN: littlelonghairedoutlaw AO3: ponderinfrustration Deviantart: i’ve tried to forget it exists Instagram: still haven’t decided if i’ll get one or not Shop(s): zilch Other: nada

Phan history 1. General phan since: October 2015 2. Part of Tumblr phandom since: November 2015 3. One-sentence summary of how you got into Phantom: listening to JOJ’s solo albums made me decide I should get on this 4. Phantom-related performances attended: alas, none 5. Adaptations you’re familiar with: Kay, ALW, Cherik 6. Other relevant tidbits you’d like to share (collections, costumes, celebrity encounters, etc.): i have a decent bootleg collection but the majority of it i still haven’t listened to

Blog 1. Main blog: littlelonghairedoutlaw 2. Phantom sideblog, if applicable: none 3. Other sideblogs you’d like us to know about: none 4. Your blog focus/aesthetic, if you have one: a shambles 5. Types of fan content you produce, if any: fic 6. Types of content you reblog (Phantom or otherwise): whatever catches my eye really or what I’m currently obsessed with. Art, fic, gifsets, occasional stream announcements. Interesting political stuff. Cool maps. A lot of WWI photos and other bits of history. And cows 7. Do you post or reblog NSFW content? not really and when I do it’s generally of the fic variety 8. Other general interests: History and medicine are two biggies, especially when they’re together and that’s 3/4 of the reason I love Doc Holliday. I also love books, cows, tea, and music and my taste in music is surprisingly broad. I love films but I don’t watch hald enough of them which is something I need to get on. I am an autumn child and I love that late October aesthetic of mist and crunched up leaves on the ground. Also, lately, hurricanes

Phan favorites 1. Favorite adaptation(s): Seeing as it specifically says adaptations I’m going with Kay. Mostly because it made me catch feelings and dragged me in the fandom 2. Favorite character(s): It changes on the reg, but probably Christine. Who I haven’t written half enough of lately 3. Ship(s) you ship, if any: Pharoga, E/C, R/C, Philippe/Sorelli, probably most other ships too, and I like to think I originated Christine/Sorelli 4. Favorite actor(s): There’s one man for me and that man’s Peter Karrie. Though I do love Alexander Lewis. And I have something of a crush on Gina Beck 5. Other Phantom-related obsessions: I like so many things on a deep level that at this point I can’t pinpoint what’s an obsession and what’s not and what I just made up

Fandom involvement 1. Favorite phan blogs: I love so many people that the list is longer than I have fingers 2. Content you’d love to see more of: More content exploring ships other than E/C. More rarepair stuff too. More domestic fics and I can always do with more hurt/comfort especially if there’s injuries and illnesses involved and too many feelings all over the place 3. Phandom discord server(s) that you frequent: I’m not in either of them a whole lot tbh 4. Do you/would you attend phan/-hosted streams? If so, what would you like to see streamed? I do my best to attend as many as I can, if it’s not too late or I’m not too tired, or otherwise tied up keeping cows in line. I love seeing bootlegs though because mostly they’re of people that I’ve been meaning to check out and just haven’t gotten around to 5. Do you read fanfiction? If so, what kind(s)? Not half as much as I used to, but I’m still a sucker for a good hurt/comfort. And cuddling. And soft sweetness especially when it has a side of angst. AUs in different time periods and soulmate AUs. And post-canon stuff, especially when it’s post-canon that’s working in actual historical events (ahem). And I am surprisingly fond of kidfic 6. Anything else you’d like to add? There are so many stockpiled ficlets on my laptop I’m not sure when I’ll ever get them all posted

I’d tag peope but most people have probably done it already

[drunken-drengr]

for the writing prompts, maybe “You deserve someone better than me.” or "You owe me."?

Thanks for the ask! I haven't wrote anything in awhile, and believe me when I say that I had a lot of ideas for this one. Went back and forth between a happier, fluffier drabble, and the horrible angst. Evidently, decided on angst, because my writing is very chaotic. Decided to rewrite that one Storm Coast Blackwall romance scene because uhhh angst. It needed more. Maybe I'll write something happier to follow this up. Also I wrote this while sadly listening to this song.

“You deserve someone better than me.”

Rain fell on her cold, barren cheeks, as the clap of thunder drowned out the sound of pouring rain for just a brief moment, before the downpour came back as calmly as ever. The clouds above them were a dark grey, and showed no sign of letting up the storm. Even so, the weather calmed Karrie, the downpour drowning out all her thoughts and washing away all else besides him. He stood there, motionless, gazing off into the distant body of water, waves overlapping over and over in an endless yet seemingly stagnant cycle. It was just them out there, far from all else in the world. It was all that mattered in that moment, then and there.

Following another clap of thunder, Blackwall’s voice cut through the rainfall, somehow so clearly. “A horde of darkspawn here, some number of years ago,” the man said, hesitating to turn halfway and look back to gaze at the woman who he confided all his hopes and dreams in. Their eyes met for a moment before Blackwall instinctively cast his gaze back to the horizon, though still turned, still acknowledging her presence.

“Men died here. Good men. Maker knows they didn’t deserve it, Maker knows I…. I didn’t deserve to…” His voice trailed off as yet more thunder made itself audible. Through a flash of light, Karrie saw his gaze fixated on the ground, completely stopping him in his sentence and erasing all words he had left. Following his locked gaze, the dwarf saw it. A small badge, made from silverite, bearing the Grey Warden symbol. And for a brief moment, glancing back into his eyes, she saw it. Just as lightning had flashed, so did terror in his eyes. That look, the plummeting of his heart in an instant. She could feel it in him. But, just as the waves washed over each other, so did the terror in his eyes get swept away, and replaced by a settling grimness.

“I didn’t deserve to walk away alive, like I did,” he finally finished, brows furrowed, and gaze still locked on the badge that lay on the soaked earth. Slowly, he knelt down to the ground, reaching a hand out to grab it ever so carefully. There was a sullen air about his movements as he stood back up, clasping the badge in his gloved hand.

“The Warden Constable badge,” Karrie offered quietly, raising a brow and gazing up at him almost expectantly. “Your badge.” And so suddenly, she saw in him all contemplation and consideration turn into realization, as if something had dawned upon the man.

“...Yes.” Hesitantly he returned. Wiping away raindrops with his thumb, he continued with more certainty. “I suppose it must be. After all, I did earn it. I shouldn’t have let it go so easily.” He gave a gruff sigh and gestured to their surroundings. “This, was my life before I met you. Crumbling ruins, endless battles.” He paused for a moment before stealing one last glance at the badge. “Death.”

A silence filled the air between the two, allowing Karrie time to think. But the feelings rushing around inside her, writhing like serpents yet fluttering like butterflies, wouldn’t allow her to reason. She had always cast aside all doubt, threw all caution to the wind, let herself be reckless. Why was she hesitating to do so now? When it came to people, this feeling wasn’t one she had felt before, nothing she thought she could ever feel. And, with such a feeling, why try to wrap your head around it, why attempt to understand what was previously unknown if she knew what was going on right there and then? In truth, she didn’t know what was going on. Up until now, she let herself indulge in the new and warm feeling he gave her, trusting in him, trusting that he knew what was going on, that he felt the same thing, just as deep and pure as she did.

But those looks flashing in his eyes, the way he indulged yet pulled away. He didn’t know what it was, either, did he? He was just the same as her. “I am no stranger to death and ruin,” the dwarf finally returned, catching his gaze on her. “Maybe that means we’re fated for each other. One battle hardened warrior to another.” As she approached the tall man, she saw a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

Letting out a small chuckle, his grim look was washed away as he allowed himself to smile. As the red haired dwarf slowly reached for his hand, almost questioningly, he dropped his guard and allowed himself to give into her. What fool could resist such a woman? “You tease,” he smiled, pausing with a small sigh. “Maybe.”

Taking her hand in his, he smiled down at her. Ever so softly, they eased into an embrace, standing there in the midst of the storm, rain pouring around them, wind lashing and tugging at their hair, but everything seemed so still to them. It seemed time itself had stopped as they stood there in each other’s embraces, warmness seeping between them, their smiles, the small tears forming at the corners of their eyes. There was no patter of the rain, no claps of thunder, no clash of the waves. Only the steadiness of their own breath.

And suddenly, it all became so clear to Karrie. It dawned upon her, like the sun rising on Skyhold, what this feeling was, all along. And for a moment, it scared her.

Love.

It hit her like a ferocious wave hits the shoreline. She loved Blackwall, she loved him ever so dearly, like she had never loved before. She had loved her family, she loved Solas, she loved Sera, but she loved him. Was this what the fabled feeling felt like? True bliss? A high you seemed to never come down from? Karrie was overwhelmed by so many emotions, all swarming her at once. Joy, excitement, anticipation, sorrow, fear. She was scared of truly loving for longer than she could remember, perhaps long before that arranged marriage. Scared of change, fearful of the new experiences. But that’s all her life had been, hadn’t it? Change. The very thing she feared most. But why didn’t she fear this? In a way it comforted her, put her at ease, knowing she finally had what she deemed impossible all this time.

Finally pushing aside all her racing thoughts and feelings, Karrie opened her eyes to stare lovingly into his own. “You deserved to live,” the warrior grinned up at him. “And you deserve to live. You deserve to love, Blackwall.”

Blackwall. Hearing that name, his smile faltered for a moment. As he looked down unto her eyes, the eyes of perhaps the only woman he truly loved, the only woman that truly loved him in return. And it all came back to him, why he brought her here to begin with. He had lied straight to her face, her of all people, how? Even now, as she finally gave in, and gazed at him with full trust, smiling like she never had before, he couldn’t bear the burden. If he truly loved her, why would he put her through such turmoil and heartbreak?

His smile faded as his embrace loosened, casting his eyes back to the stormy, grey skies. Though he couldn’t see it, he could feel Karrie’s smile disappear as well. He felt her arms around his sides fall back to her own, but not before grasping his hand. He felt her confused gaze on him, on the verge of sorrow, but could not bring himself to meet it.

“Blackwall?”

It was like a jab to the chest, hearing her plead, seeing her frown, her, the woman who he had never once seen cry. It was foolish, though. He almost let himself get away with it, too. To think she would have still loved a man who wasn’t who she thought he was at all. “I...I’m sorry, My Lady,” he breathed, choking up on his own words. “You deserve someone better than me.”

And with that singular sentence, the world jumped back into motion around them, it seemed. Karrie was taken by surprise, her heart dropping at his words. So much time spent going back and forth between them, casting out and reeling back in, not quite fully opening herself up to a new experience, a new change. And here she was. Just as she finally came to terms, finally accepted the undeniable, finally realized that she truly loved him, he backed out in an instant. Gaze locked with his eyes that wouldn’t meet her own, unbreaking, the tears welled in her eyes. She suddenly remembered why she didn’t want to love. This was exactly what she feared.

She felt him give her hand a soft squeeze before releasing it from his grasp. His lips moved, but she did not hear any words come out. She refused to hear them. Watching him turn away and leave her there in the rain, Karrie didn’t know what to do. Usually, she would chase him down, demand an answer, force him to see eye to eye. But her legs wouldn’t move. All she could do was watch his figure, blurred by tears, fade off into the distance. After what seemed like a dreadful eternity, her knees gave out, falling down to the soaked earth. Softly, her fingers touched her cheek. Rain mixed with tears, but she could still feel the warm, salty tears running down her face. Why was she crying so? She hadn’t cried in ages. Never once had she allowed herself to cry since the Conclave. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt, not the kind of love she was taught about as a child. But it hurt so badly. When you truly loved someone, did it hurt so horribly when they left? All that the dwarf could think about, as she knelt there, soaked by the rain and soft sobs drowned out by thunder, was why.

Why?

[shewantedtobeasecretgirl]

10. Bathroom wall a.k.a. a queen bee, Prince in the shower and a backup Casanova (Part Two)

Finally, that Donna Summer song is over… Although disco is not my favorite genre, I have nothing against her generally but now… the part in which she’s repeating “Hot-hot-hot-hot stuuuuff” reminded me of the sound of the rototiller which would break down in every single winter and my grandpa would always have to try for hours and hours to breathe life into it in spring. And the music was also way too loud in comparison to the fact the clientele of this place consists mostly of exhausted truck drivers who only want to chill to Chris Rhea’s Road to Hell. If they wanted noise, they would go to a strip club to see Miss North Carolina ’86 dropping her clothes to something from AC/DC. Probably Highway to Hell. Variations on a theme. But probably this little dump doesn’t even have a proper strip club.

Luckily, this shabby roadhouse has a separate room for pool tables; it’s pretty hidden and easily approachable without being noticed. Not that I don’t like hanging out with the guys… okay, that’s also a part of it, we’ve been basically locked in a tour bus, concert venues and hotel rooms since last September. We’re each other’s company all the time, the only place where I can spend a few hours by myself is basically the ever-changing setting of my incoherent dreams. Only mentally, of course, since basically there’s always someone snoring around. And of course, they also keep showing up in random scenarios and with people they don’t even know but that’s the point of dreams, your brain forces you to put jigsaw puzzle pieces together that don’t match. Or they do, you just don’t know about it… Long story short, there’s no way to get rid of these dudes… Okay, it sounds as if they annoyed me… shit, they do annoy me more and more often and I hate this feeling. We’re basically friends; we wouldn’t be able to play in the same band if we didn’t get on well. But before we started touring, we’d all had our own circles including friends and colleagues, different hobbies, natural habitat… and music and the band had been only the intersection of them. We met when we had to do something as a band, we spent time together to write songs, rehearse, record… and in the remaining time, everybody lived their own life. That we don’t have anymore.

Usually, I try to not see only the dark side of this situation but now, I’m not feeling able to put on a smiley face. Maybe the fact that my whole digestive system is burning doesn’t help either… I bought a cola at the gas station next to the bar and smuggled it in under my jacket. That’s the only piece of advice of the doctor that is also useful under tour circumstances. I mean, I can’t just drop everything and lie down when the pains are coming, I can’t spend my evening sitting on the loo when I have to play a gig and who cares about diet when you can’t even eat or sleep on a regular basis? But cola is always there, no matter where I am. It’s the only thing that eases my nausea effectively and isn’t very conspicuous at the same time. And this one is as cold as ice, it feels good to press the bottle to my stomach as I’m crouching in fetal position in this armchair. Although the doctor probably wouldn’t approve, I spiked it with a few drops of rum. To be honest, they were bigger drops but I finally wanted to empty my flask. I decided to give up drinking spirits, beer makes me unpredictable enough and mixing drinks only fucks my digestion up too.

“Here you are, finally! I knew you were somewhere here too!”

So much for hiding…

“Hi, Karrie…”

“Man, you’re missing the best parts… some local chicks started courting the guys, they even got them to dance…”

“Awesome…”

“Mike, can you hear what I’m telling you? I said the guys were made to dance… I mean, the guys such as Jeff, Dave and Stone… and dance, like, moving the body rhythmically to the music… Although the girl who picked Stone had a difficult job…”

“Let me guess: she failed.” I remark in a bored voice and shake the bottle in small circles not to waste a drop of my drink.

“Mike? Is something wrong with you? Normally, you would basically drop everything and rush there to see the end of the scene but… yes, something’s wrong with you...” she answers her own question with a concerned face sinking down slowly onto the other armchair.

“I’m fine…” I mumble as I embrace my knees and lean my chin against them.

“Mike, I haven’t known you for a long time but I’m pretty sure that sitting alone curled up like a hedgehog is not your normal state. The pains, again, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t like being taken for an idiot. Ninety percent of my job basically consists of watching every move of yours and trying to figure out your needs before you would even think about them. Do you think I haven’t noticed you’re suffering?”

I should have known. She usually stays in the background, doesn’t meddle in the business of the others but she’s all ears and eyes… she knows everything about us.

“All I know is that it must be something with your stomach or intestines… I don’t know exactly how serious it might be but it seems to be serious enough to be treated…” she goes on ignoring my stubborn silence. “Have you already seen a doctor? Have you already been diagnosed?”

I’ve seen several ones. I have a diagnosis. But I doubt she wants to hear the detailed description of my medical history, in particular the analysis of that delightful feeling when objects are being put up into your butthole.

“Do the others know about it?”

Oh, sure… like the inexhaustible source of Stone’s stupid anal jokes needed any feeding…No, thanks. And enlightening the others about the fact that pissing in the corner and running around naked aren’t the only sorts of accidents happening with me from time to time isn’t one of my top priorities either.

“Look, Mike, you’re an adult. Legally, leastways. I can’t tell you what to do and I’m finished with the heart-to-heart, I promise but… come on, all I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to feel ashamed and you can live a quality life whatever your problem is, for example Effie…”

“Effie?” I try not to sound like a maniac but I almost kick the table over as I jump back in regular sitting position. “You mean she…?”

“Hasn’t Judy mentioned it?”

“What?” I ask so far as I’m able to speak at all due to the lump in my throat that grew out of nothing of the mere mention of her name.

“She’s been waiting for new kidneys, or at least one new kidney for months. It’s pretty difficult to find a suitable donor for her… but she’s optimistic, as always. And also angry a bit but it only helped her move on.”

“May I ask… what happened to her? I mean, I understand if it’s not public or…” I try to form coherent sentences, which is not that easy at all after this shock therapy.

“It’s not a secret, it’s the result of medical mistakes.” she starts telling the whole story. The chain of her ordeals is more than simple misfortune, and honestly, as I’m trying to recall that compelling but still playful voice, it’s difficult to believe her life depends on permanent medical help. “…and that’s where we are now.” she finishes with a deeps sigh.

“Poor girl…”

“She’d cut your throat if she heard you. She hates being pitied and tries to keep her life in the normal track very hard, limits and obstacles have always annoyed her… but she’s not that kind of girl to whom you can explain that life can be complete without sky diving, rock climbing or space travel too.” she shrugs with a bittersweet smile.

“Does that mean she keeps going on with her studies and…”

“That’s the problem. She’s suspended her studies, gave up her student jobs but she’s already regretted it. And Annie, I mean, her mom is overconcerned and wants her to rest and stick around until the transplantation will have been carried out. And that’s one of the reasons why I recommended Judy as my replacement…”

“They need money…”

“Yup. But the point of my coming up with Effie’s case is to make you understand you’re not alone, having an illness is not a shame but I hate clichés so I rather shut up. I don’t want to lecture you, I would just feel guilty if I didn’t even try to talk about it with you.”

“I have already heard so much about her… do you have a picture of her or something? I’m curious… I mean, it’d be nice if I could connect a face to all those awesome stories…” I hear myself talking. Gaah, I don’t want seem to be pushy or a psycho stalker but I need to see her face.

“Uhmm, I used to keep a few family photos in my wallet, if you’re lucky I still have them…” she begins to rummage in her purse. “Ah, here it is. But no, that’s an old one.” she puts the picture back before I could take a look at it.

“NO, I WANT TO SEE IT.” I grab her forearm. “Please…?” I soften my voice seeing her puzzled expression. So much for avoiding deranged behavior.

“She was like seventeen when it was taken, it’s the yearbook photo from her senior year I guess.” she hands it to me.

I don’t know what I was expecting or if I was expecting anything at all but one thing I know: I wasn’t prepared for THIS. Judy mentioned she was blond and had blue eyes and normally, I would pair this combo with a Barbie-type girl in my imagination. But she’s everything but a Barbie-doll, her clear, shining, honest eyes stare into the camera with some cautiousness but if you examine her face carefully enough, you can discover hints of impishness playing around her lips and those tiny freckles around her nose and her skin that was still wearing the last kiss of late summer sun when the picture was taken… Jesus ‘Cready, you’re not a poet, you’re not even sane. Yes, I must have lost my mind, I’m hearing music in my head… “Drea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream…”

“Mike… Mike… Miiiike…” I find myself in the reality again when Karrie snaps a couple times with her fingers in front of my face. And I realize I didn’t grow a DJ in my mind, the song of Everly Brothers is actually playing in the bar.

“I take this now back, I found another one.” Karrie has to basically disentangle my clenched, grabby fingers from the photo but my eyes are still glued to the face in it, greedily collecting the tiniest details until it disappears in the wallet. “Here.” she pushes the other picture in front of me. “It’s from last year, I think, her hair is curlier here but that’s her natural look, she doesn’t have it straightened too often.”

The second photo gives that human tornado, that young woman clearly back whom I’ve imagined so many times since that very phone call and of whom now I know that she’s officially out of my league. It’s definitively confirmed, not that I had any chance to meet her in real life or at least talk to her again…

“You know what? You should consider talking with her about it. I think she’d understand it better than any of us.” Karrie remarks casually while sliding the pictures back into their place.

Oh. Yes. Sure. Why not call this angel to tell her I’m a disgusting pig who doesn’t have the slightest control over his metabolism, lets out disgusting sounds involuntarily and shits in his pants at least once in a week. Yes, that’s something I would totally chat with her about…

“It’s just an idea, I’m sure Judy would help you find a way to get in contact with her… of course, only if you want to…”

“Houston, we have a problem… Karrie… there’s a situation… we need you…” Scully basically falls into the room breathlessly.

“Jesus, what happened?” she jumps up terrified.

“It’s Judy… you should go after her…” he gasps pressing his hand against his right side. “I’ll tell you on the way…”

“Sorry Mike, we’ll talk about it later…” she shouts back on leaving.

At least my interrogation is over and I can spend some time alone since the others seem to be busy with that “situation”, whatever it is… Maybe I could practice pool tricks, I still haven’t given up my goal to beat Stone at least once in this lifetime. Even if we aren’t playing against each other, he keeps bothering me with his sarcastic comments and doesn’t let me try things in my own way, I can’t really improve my pool skills when he’s around.

After playing a few rounds against myself and winning, of course, I realize the pains have almost gone… It’s so weird, you immediately notice discomfort but you’re always unaware of the lack of it for a while, especially if you manage to direct your thoughts on something else. I guess I should look for the others, I hope Judy’s okay…

“Sorry” an unknown female voice addresses me with a short cough “have you got light?”

***

„So… what’s the plan?” Dave asks leaning on the counter with his elbows facing towards the tables.

“What plan?” I ask back positioning myself in the same way to be able to take a look around.

“For the evening… with the ladies.” he winks meaningfully.

“I don’t know… I guess we’re just hanging out. But why are you asking me? It is you and Jeff who are allowed to have any plans with any ladies… I have a beautiful girlfriend at home, remember…” I answer and I feel my lips pulling in a wide grin; I can’t help, I’ve developed this instant reaction that occurs whenever my gorgeous blondie is on my mind.

“How could I forget… you’d never miss an opportunity to rub this fact in our face. Anyway, Jeff doesn’t seem to be interested in them either, for obvious reasons…”

I squint at the pinball machine where the two second fiddles whose names I’m simply unable to recall are trying to break their personal records. I don’t really get why they think screaming helps them keep the ball on the play field but at least they prevent Jeff from falling asleep; he’s suppressing one yawn after another while stealing glances alternately at the basketball match on the TV screen and the table around which Scully, the slightly deranged leader of the girl bunch and our pocket-sized roadie are having an apparently deep conversation.

“He shouldn’t torture himself, his obvious reason doesn’t give a fuck about his awkward performance.”

“You can never know. Maybe she ignores intentionally that he’s ignoring her intentionally. But I guess you’re happy about it, the super professional band leader who’s against within-band hook-ups…”

“You know my opinion…” I shrug. “Just think about Fleetwood Mac and what happened to them.”

“Uhm, they became a world-famous top rock band?”

“You’re right! Come with me in the restroom, NOW!”

We both burst out in a dirty, tipsy laughter and it takes a few minutes until we calm down enough to be able to speak again.

“So, what are your plans?” I nudge him still shaking of warm-down snorts from time to time.

“I guess if the dynamics don’t change very quickly in the opposite direction, Jeff will vanish in less than ten minutes… and I’ll have to sacrifice myself and keep both chick entertained in the rest of the evening. But I don’t mind, they’re both cute.” Dave takes a sip of his beer wiggling his eyebrows satisfied.

“Both chick? What about… Caledonia?” I nod towards the black-haired alpha female of the trio.

“Her name is Claudia, geez man, you’re hopeless… but no, thanks, her behavior reminds me of that psycho woman in Fatal Attraction too much.” he frowns. “Stoney, be a man and do what you gotta do.”

“…which is…? Jesus, I’m not interested in any random girl I encounter and as you said, she’s totally insane, while we were dancing…”

“… while she was dancing…”

“… I felt as if I had been caught by a boa constrictor that was squeezing me tighter and tighter and I swear, it must have been an extended, super long version of Hot Stuff, I thought it would never end, like, it was at least three minutes longer than usual…” I go on since I’m not willing to react to his undisguised reference to my dance talent.

“Just go back to her, have a polite chat with her and say bye in half an hour… maybe I can keep Jeff here and you can use each other as excuse for leaving. I’ll be here and keep an eye on you and in case she gets out of control, I call the local herpers to catch her.” Dave presents his concept about the strategy I should follow.

“Herpers against herpes, it sounds like the name of some non-profit organization... Okay, approved but if I start yelling “red code”, you launch the rescue operation, that’s the signal.”

“Just go finally, the sooner you begin, the earlier you can get out of here.”

I grab my beer and walk to the small company around the table but as soon as I arrive, all its members fall suddenly silent.

“What’s up, Scully? Hi Claudia.” I greet them and get a dark look from the third person whom I’m trying to ignore to get away with the situation as simply as possible.

“Scully… what kind of name is that at all?” Claudia mutters listlessly; for some unknown reason her energetic behavior has gone; she’s playing with her hair bored leaning her face against her palm.

“There are some who call me… Tim.” Scully uses the occasion to crack a Monty Python joke.

“Tim the Enchanter.” I finish the quote basically swallowing the last syllable since I hear the other girl uttering the same words simultaneously.

“Is that some inside joke of yours?” Claudia mumbles unwillingly.

“Kind of.” I answer in the same style. “But his real name is Timothy, that’s the truth.”

“Anyway, these weird nicknames are pretty common in your crew. Scully… Stone… I wonder how you got this one.” she goes on in a monotonous voice. It’s strange, she doesn’t sound like someone who feels like having a conversation at all. Maybe she’s that depressed type of drunk.

“Guess what: from his parents.” the annoying little smartass answers instead of me raising one eyebrow.

“Oh, really? Your name is almost as bizarre as you.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck. I don’t mind if she spares me an uncomfortable talk and leaves me alone before I would ditch her but why is this turnaround?

“Judy, you promised you were going to play foosball with me! Come, the tables are finally free!” Scully jumps to his feet pulling his colleague by her hand.

“What? I didn’t promise anything, I…”

“Come on, you have a mind like a sieve, of course you did! We could invite the others too and you could teach us those mind-blowing tricks!” he drags her enthusiastically in the direction of the foosball tables; she seemingly protests a little but finally gives in and follows him reluctantly.

“Uhm… I hate to admit but she’s a first-class player.” I speak up with a sentence I didn’t want to say at all but the urge to break the awkward silence was strong enough that my mind forgot to look for better topics.

“Wow.”

Gosh, I’ll need anti-depressants, if she goes on like this.

“I everything okay?” I try to look in her eyes. “I mean… you seemed to have fun when you came over, you even danced… but now… I mean, if it’s a private thing, you don’t have to answer…”

“Stone… you are a really nice guy and all, handsome, actually funny but… I don’t think we would match.”

Thank God. But something I can’t explain makes me ask for the reason instead of confessing I’m not available anyway.

“Oh. I see. And… what makes you think we’re too different?”

“I don’t know… there are just so many antagonistic characteristics… For example, I don’t like animals. I mean, I just can’t get on well with them, I don’t even like watching documentaries on them.”

“I love them, I have a cat called Red and I love dogs too, my family has always had dogs. But I know there are people who feel strange when animals are around, I’m okay with that… what else?” I inquire; the suspicious feeling keeps telling me something’s not okay here, something’s FUCKIN’ not okay here. Maybe if I ask further questions, I get closer to the reason of her behavior.

“I don’t eat red meat at all.”

“Haha, then we have something in common. I have vegetarian phases from time to time and I’m right in the middle of one. I have nothing against meat but I only consume them at special occasions.”

“But that’s the point, I hate these special occasions!” she blurts out passionately. “And I loathe even the smell of beef, let alone touching it.”

“I repeat, I can live without it.” I laugh. “And… your concern about differences is really sweet but I have to tell you something: I have a girlfriend at home, we’ve been together for months so…”

“I know! And you’re so lucky to have someone who accepts you the way you are, even if your taste is everything but ordinary and…”

Let’s wait for a second… how does she know about Amber? And what’s this babbling about my quirky style? And what was this madness about animals and meat? My mind switches to replay mode and I try to recall the moments of the evening double-time… I see ourselves arriving, them coming to our table, us dancing to the fast-forward version of Hot Stuff, them disappearing in the restroom, them getting back from the restroom and joining Scully and J…STOP! Her. That. Little. Shit. It could be only her. She must have said something about me, something crazy shit, because that’s what she’s doing all the time, she tries to turn everybody against me and ruin my reputation and… Okay, first I have to get rid of Claudia, it’s not her fault, after all.

“Thanks for saying that, it’s very nice from you. And I’m sure, sooner or later you’ll find a guy who really fits you. I hope I didn’t hurt you but I don’t really like to talk about my private life. But I guess my friends enlightened you about the details to avoid misunderstandings…” I squint at her playing the gentle refusal routine. If my presumption is correct, it’ll turn out here and now.

“Oh yes!” she jumps on my words immediately. “Judy told me everything. She cares about you a lot, she’s such a good friend!”

“She is.” A good friend of cheap tricks and pretended innocence. But she’ll pay for this. “Her problems are usually similar to mine so we are pretty much on the same wavelength.” Whatever it is, I throw the shit back at that viper. “But this is so awkward and I don’t want to waste your time so… I wish you all the best and good luck with guys!” I stand up already thinking about medieval methods of torment I would gladly try on that two-faced dwarf.

“Thanks… and be happy with that lucky girl!” she sends a saddish smile and I feel guilty for a second for leaving her alone right when she stopped playing the role of the tempting seductress. But while I’m walking to the foosball tables, my thoughts are going back to my unfinished business with that hypocrite, mean…

“No, Scully, the point is in the right angle, look, I don’t shoot the ball until… hey, Scully, you’re not even watching… oh.” she suddenly falls silent and flushes as she follows the gaze of the pale, petrified guitar tech in my direction as I arrive to them. He was obviously trying to save her ass but I don’t blame him, he hates fights, he probably feels being between two fires.

“You know what? I’m also dying to learn more about your little tricks.” I stop at the foosball table with folded arms.

“Oh my God, I love tricks.” Claudia’s enthusiastic friend chirps from the other side of the table. “What? I do love them!” she whines not decoding the strict face the third member of their bunch sends at her after nudging her to finally shut up.

“S-sure, I gladly show them to you too…” the manipulative little beast stutters.

“Face-to-face.” I cut her off in my coldest voice and I can basically hear how hard she just swallowed.

“Ugh… let’s look for Jeff and Dave.” Scully steers the two confused, reluctant friends of Claudia out of range basically tossing them towards the bar counter.

“So, what do you want to know?” she asks almost cheerfully; what an acting performance.

“Oh, I want to know a lot of things… if aliens exist… where the other half of my favorite pair of socks might be… what’s the equivalent of blushing at chameleons… why Claudia suddenly started treating me as if I was a leper…”

“They do. Probably in Jeff’s suitcase. You can’t embarrass a reptile. Maybe she has finally seen the light…” she lists her answers shrugging nonchalantly. “But I guess it’s a relief for you, so we’re happy now, huh?”

“It depends. I wonder if someone helped her out with some useful information about me…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about… not that it matters as for the result…” she starts spinning the sticks in the table for no reason, since no one else is around, it’s probably just a pathetic excuse for avoiding eye contact.

“You know, I like to decide on my own with whom I want to spend my time.”

“Do you absolutely exclude the possibility of other people feeling the same way? What if she just didn’t enjoy your company?”

“That’s not impossible but the marvelous change in her behavior makes me think something happened either in the restroom or at the table… and guess what? You were there the whole time too.”

“Are you stalking me? Jesus, should I have reported what I was doing at the loo? And I’m even sitting at tables, holy shit, that’s a federal crime.”

“She herself told you on. I haven’t figured out yet what you told her but I know Scully like the back of my hand; he’s obviously trying to cover for you but keeping secret and acting aren’t his strengths. Sooo… you can play dumb but it’ll take me less than two minutes to get everything out of him.”

Her hands stop fidgeting in the second she realizes there’s no point in denying.

“If you’re convinced that much, then why are you asking me? Just execute me here and now…” she stretches out her arms playing the role of the innocent, targeted victim.

“Nah, you can’t get away with it so easily. I wanna know why you did what you did.” I stand in her way since I can see her eyes mapping the possible escapes.

“Why do you want to know why I did what you think I did?” she asks back still keeping the poker face. She still thinks she can win, unbelievable.

“Well… it’s just interesting. Jeff and Dave danced with those girls too but as far as I can see, their popularity hasn’t decreased, I wonder why…” I turn around for a second and nod towards our table where the guys are laughing hard at something with Scully and Claudia’s friends, Claudia seems to have been vanished in the meantime, though.

“Because they don’t have girlfriends...” she remarks earnestly staring at them, not even noticing she broke the character.

“So that’s it? That’s why you did it? You think I can’t even look at other girls since I’m not single?”

“You just shouldn’t. I mean, you found a girl who meets your special needs, you wouldn’t have such luck once again in this lifetime.” she sits back on the high horse again.

“What special needs?” I ask eagerly hoping I can finally put the whole picture together.

“I don’t know, four boobs, tiny brain, large bed, I guess…” she goes on with the bullshit.

“That’s you theory about my needs? Wonderful… So you think I would have cheated on my girlfriend without your machination?” I raise my voice.

“I didn’t say that…”

“Did I kiss her?”

“You didn’t but…”

“Did I hug her?”

“You didn’t but…”

“Did I grope her?”

“You didn’t but…”

“Then what the fuck did I do that bothered your sensitive soul so much that you dared intervene in my business?” I lean over her making her back away.

“You laughed and…”

“What?” I scream. “You think me laughing with someone wearing skirt makes you entitled for shit-talking? You’re insane. You know what? You can play the self-proclaimed moral police of the crew or Seattle or the whole fuckin’ universe, I don’t give a fuck. Just leave. Me. Alone. Mind your own love life. Oh, wait? You don’t have one? Maybe that’s the problem?” I cover my mouth with my palm pretending shock.

“Screw you, Gossard.” she whispers hoarsely and tosses me away with her shoulder rushing past me.

***

I catch her at the entrance, in front of the building. Scully was right, she seems to be pretty upset.

“Shit, shit, SHIT!!!” she shouts emphasizing the last “shit” by kicking at full strength in the dumpster standing on the side of the road. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” she bounces with painful groans on one leg until she almost loses her balance and limps back to plop down onto the curb.

“I heard that Converse was planning to launch steel toe sneakers, first I thought the brand managers were tripping on something but seeing you it totally makes sense.” I remark as I take place next to her with the moves and in the pace of a seventy-year-old woman; this position is anything but comfortable for my permanently aching knee.

“Ha, very funny. I should have kicked him in the balls. With steel toe boots…” she mumbles taking her foot in her lap. “I hope I didn’t break my big toe.” she tries to make a diagnosis by palpation.

“If I’m not wrong, you’re talking about the genitalia of Stone Carpenter Gossard.”

To my biggest surprise, it’s not the anatomical term that catches her attention.

“What? Carpenter?” she asks snickering but she also wipes out an involuntary teardrop with the back of her hand from the corner of her eye in the meantime. Whatever happened, it must have actually hurt.

“Yes, that’s his middle name. But: you didn’t hear it from me. And, I know the temptation is huge but try to keep this information until you can use it with cool head.”

“I’m as cold as an icicle.” she sniffles bitterly.

“As a melting icicle.” I stop a next teardrop rolling down on her face with my thumb. “Come on, what happened?”

“Nothing. I’m just so sick of it. So sick of him.”

“What has he done?”

“You mean apart from getting addicted to oxygen twenty-something years ago?”

“Did he say something?” I ignore her sarcastic response.

She laces her arms around her knees and begins to examine her shoes.

“Did he do something?”

She insists on remaining silent and resists my interrogation pretending the patterns on her socks require all her attention.

“Or didn’t he say or do something? That’s the problem? Look, I don’t have to care about your childish quarrel. I just wanted to check if you’re okay since Scully was worried about you. But frankly, maybe too many people are already busy with trying to keep your war over sandbox toys under control.”

“You could finally decide on whose side you are…”

“Obviously on Stone’s. But it has practical reasons, Mike mentioned once he had drunk expired beer during a gig with his previous band and he’d vomited in the amplifier…” I try to ease the tension. “But Jesus, Judy, joke aside, I’m on nobody’s side, of course. I’m just trying to help but if I don’t know what happened, I can’t. And I’m helpless since believe or not, I know he’s a really great guy and I also know you’re an awesome chick and honestly, I have no clue why your arrival has turned him completely inside out.”

“So it’s my fault.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I’m just… so sick of him.”

“You’ve already said that.” I fish a tissue out of my pocket and hand her so that she doesn’t use her forearm to clean her nose.

“You know… he’s not the first smug prick I have to deal with, I met enough of them at Juilliard… but usually, I just ignored them.”

“Then why don’t you ignore him too?” I ask although I know there are several reasons that make this idea extremely difficult.

“I’m not in the position in which I could pretend he’s invisible. And inaudible. I mean, letting it slide sounds like a way that could be even effective, maybe he would get tired of torturing me after a while… but it’s not like high school bullying, I don’t have years to get rid of him, at least you have a glimmer of hope every year there that maybe the bullies find a new victim in the freshman class… But… despite what this whole situation looks like, this is the adult world. This is my job, the management is my employer and if the band is not satisfied with me, I’m going to be fired.”

“But they are satisfied with you…”

Her disbelieving expression makes me correct my sentence.

“They are not dissatisfied with you…”

“Stone is. And he’s the leader and main songwriter of the band so if it came to a dealbreaker… guess who would draw the short straw.”

“Who talks about a dealbreaker? At this point, you’re my trainee. You’re under my protection.”

“And you know what’s the most irritating part? That I’m trying, I’m really trying… I do everything to fulfil his wishes…”

“…which are often ridiculous, let’s be honest. I mean, he’s an immensely talented musician but he… all of them have to learn that being loud and raw isn’t the most important thing…”

“Exactly… I just want to turn up the volume until his monitor box explodes and then just shrug, like “you wanted this, fucker”.“ we both giggle recalling the awkward moments and the looks we exchanged at sound checks. “But what’s your strategy? How can you convince him?”

“Well… I don’t try to convince him with explicit arguments… somehow I learned how to make him believe that my suggestion was originally his idea.”

“Clever… but ah, I couldn’t make it… he disagrees with everything I come up with… it’s like an innate reflex at him.”

“Aaand you’ve just caught the point!” I snap with my fingers.

“…which is… that it’s a reflex and he can’t help it?” she frowns.

“No, the other thing you said… he disagrees with everything that comes from you.”

“…aaand…?” her hands circling around each other urge me for getting straight to the point. “Yes, I’m the problem, I know, there’s nothing new in that.”

“NO! And actually… I’d rather keep you in the dark about it. Namely, we’ve got a plan.”

Two plans actually, in case plan A doesn’t work…

“We? You and…?”

“Schmitty, Brett and Scully. None of them is particularly good at keeping secret but this time they are holding on, I’m very proud of them. But as far as I know you, you’d ruin everything if you knew the details.”

“I can’t wait… if it doesn’t involve a pair of dirty, stinky socks getting stuffed into Stone’s mouth, I’m not interested in it, anyway… whatever… sorry for being skeptical, the guy is smart, he smells plans and tricks from miles… and even if he doesn’t, he ruins your self-esteem and drives you into series of mistakes and then” she claps suddenly making me start ”he gets you and makes fun of you.”

“You don’t need to exaggerate, he’s not Satan itself…”

“Are you sure?” she narrows her eyes meaningfully. “I had finally gained some confidence by the time I graduated from Juilliard, I mean, I finally believed that being admitted and receiving a degree there meant I could really… achieve something… and now... I feel like I’m at the start again.”

“The situation is certainly out of your comfort zone… but you came from a different world… and his world is strange for you too and…”

“If it was only about this!” she cuts me off. “He’s mocking me permanently, at everything. Everything. Like in elementary school, he makes remarks about my look, my dresses…”

“But you mock him back!”

“… my love… life…” she goes on in a thinner voice. “Or… rather the lack of it. Rude remarks.”

Whoa, that’s new. Obviously, I’ve heard him cracking jokes about her innocent look and Jeff’s admiration for her that he rather disapproved than encouraged, by the way… but he hadn’t humiliated her publicly only for being single… I need a context.

“What did he say exactly?”

“He told me not to put my nose into other people’s business… and that I should to stay away from his private life and insulted me by saying I didn’t even have a love interest…” she recalls in a bored voice like she was reciting a textbook.

“That doesn’t make any sense… what happened before?” I inquire. Something tells me that’s only the second half of the story…

“We had sort of a… disagreement.”

“You don’t say…” I squint at her. “Come on, don’t make me pull everything out of you word by word!”

“Can I have a cigarette?” she asks out of the blue.

“But you don’t even smoke!” I protest.

“Do you want me to go on or not? Just give me a cigarette, please.”

“Oookaaay…” I hand her the pack with my lighter in it.

“So… there were those girls who showed up in the bar… they sat down to the guys’ table…” she begins as she hits the pack with her index finger a few times to set a cigarette free.

“Yes, I saw them, they even danced with them, it was hilarious!” I giggle. Honestly, not only the recall of the scene cracks me up, her fumbling with the lighter is hysterical too.

“One of them… Claudia… she hit on him. I mean, on Stone.” she utters with disgust as she succeeds in lighting the cigarette for about the sixteenth attempt.

“Oh yeah… she seemed pretty pushy.”

“Pushy is not the right term, she was just shameless! I encountered her in the restroom, she started asking questions about him, you know, if he’s single, what kind of girls he liked, stuff like that. And I… ahem… I told… ahem-ahem… I told her… ahem… I told he had a girlfriend ahem-ahem-ahem-ahem…”

Even the first drag drives her on the verge of choking.

“Are you sure you want to smoke it?”

“Yes, I am… ahem… I’m okay… I’m just… ahem. Okay. I think it’s over.” her breathing calms down finally. “So” she takes another drag, a perceptibly more cautious one “long story short, she didn’t even care… and that asshole didn’t even resist.”

“I didn’t see him reciprocating her approach… What should he have resisted?”

“Everything? OUCH!!!”

Due to her outraged hand moves, she managed to drop the ash onto her forearm.

“Okay, you give that to me…” I grab her by the wrist and take the cigarette between my own middle and index finger. “When you’re smoking, you have to ash it regularly to avoid accidents like this. It also burns while you’re talking, just sayin’…”

“Damn… but it’d feel really good to hold a cigarette in my hand while I’m flailing…” she whines still rubbing her forearm.”

“Here. But don’t even try to light it. We can pretend you’re smoking it. Go on.” I hand her a fresh cigarette and begin to puff the one I confiscated.

“And I got just… so angry! I mean, how can one be such a slut?” she gestures on with wider moves.

“Well, a lot of girls just want to have fun and…”

“No, I’m talking about him! He’s got a girlfriend… who must be beautiful and smart and perfect and… “

“Wait, you don’t know anything about her…”

“That’s true but guys like him obviously wouldn’t date any girl…”

I’m dying to know what she means by “guys like him” but maybe this is not the right moment to ask it straightforwardly…

“But he didn’t do anything particular with that girl…” I try to defend him effortlessly.

“Were you there too? Because I was. And trust me, without my intervention, a lot more would have happened…”

“Wait, your intervention?” I perk my head but receive no response. “Judy??? What did you do?”

“I… I might have said her a few things… about Stone…” she confesses with burning cheeks.

“Things like…???” I claim a detailed explanation. Maybe she’s not as innocent this time as I thought…

“I told her things about… what he likes…” she answers reluctantly.

“Like beer or dogs or disco music or what the hell? Tell me the whole fuckin’ story or I leave, I swear!” I flare out at her.

“Things… he likes in… bed…”

Oh. The idea of Judy disclosing Stone’s bedroom secrets sounds dangerous enough to make me choose my words wisely.

“But you… you don’t know what kind of sex he likes… do you?”

“Jesus, of course I don’t, I don’t even want to think about the fact that that freak has sex at all! Jesus… not even in my worst nightmares…” she rolls her eyes staring in front of her.

“But then… how did you know…”

“I… used my… imagination…” she sums up with a brief shrug.

I’ve never heard a more euphemistic synonym for lying. “I used my imagination…” Wicked woman.

“Oh my… and what was your intention with that?”

“To make her reconsider her choice… and to defend Stone from her… you know, I wanted to help him getting out of this situation, guys just never have the strength... I basically did him a favor!”

Of course, Judy helping Stone. I could even imagine it but strictly only after the arrival of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

“Thinking back about the beginning of our conversation, he couldn’t be particularly grateful for the helping hand…”

“Well, the thing is that the nature of our relationship sort of… influenced my word usage…”

“Judy, I’ve known you since your birth, you don’t need to use vague sentences… just tell what you told her finally!”

“I told her he liked watching animals, I might have mentioned mating animals. For example, watching David Attenborough video tapes before he…”

“I get it, I get it… but that’s not that extreme, thank God you didn’t say he liked animal porn in which people do it with animals…”

“Maybe I mentioned further preferences too… maybe I said something about him liking eating from the girl’s body…”

“That can even be hot, a lot of people are into it, that’s not that bad at all, Judy…” I snicker.

“…unusual food… like bloody steak with Worcestershire sauce… with knife and fork…”

I immediately stop giggling and freeze because I have the sinister feeling she still has something to confess.

“Uhm… I thought you were talking about potentially erotic food like strawberry and whipped cream but in case the girl likes steak too…”

“…and it’s possible I said things about his… performance too…”

“Oh, no.”

“I remember mentioning… he needs, uhm, special actions to become… motivated.” she fidgets with her shoelaces absent-mindedly, wrapping them around her index fingers.

“Okay, whatever, go ahead, I’m prepared.” I cover my eyes with my hands as if they could prevent me from visualizing her bizarre ideas.

“As far as I can recall… I claimed his main turn-on was watching the girl doing her business…”

“You mean doing the business? Like… pleasing… herself?” I ask back since don’t want to believe what I heard.

“I said doing her business… on the toilet…” she repeats with a miserably groan, reddening and avoiding my gaze.

“Judy… you know I’m always ready to defend you from anything or anybody but… it’s no wonder Stone attacked you again.”

“No wonder? He deserved it! After all that bitching…”

“He deserved it? Helping hand, of course… you basically humiliated him in front of a girl!” I scold her trying to keep a serious face, which is not easy at all.

“Do you think I went too far?” she asks innocently with sincere concern. For a second, she turns back into the ten-year-old version of herself who was scared of everything and everyone and it costs me a lot of restraint not to hug her. “Anyway… thinking back… it was so funny, you should have seen the girl’s face.”

I admit, this is the most hilarious shit I’ve heard in the last few years and Stone does deserve some payback from time to time but I don’t want to confirm her behavior. I’m sticking on my plan about getting them to make up or at least to normalize their relationship.

“Judy…” I begin with a deep sigh “Most guys are very sensitive as for their masculinity and sexual abilities, even if they are not typical machos. When they are joking about themselves – that’s okay, a guy with a healthy amount of self-irony is usually considered funny or even attractive. If another guy teases them with sexual topics – they just fire back, with words or their fist. But if it’s a girl who makes fun of their performance – they just freak out, they can’t hit you, they can’t assert they are sex gods either, their only way to defend themselves is attacking back verbally and they try to be at least as rude as you were. Or even ruder.”

“Oh, please, Karrie, I don’t need to be lectured on the psychology of men. He didn’t even know what I said exactly, he wasn’t there of course.”

“But it was you who said he’s smart, he probably figured out the point of it, the chick didn’t seem to be a rocket scientist and she probably didn’t even realize she got in the middle of your death match…”

“Or he was just taking shots in the dark and had luck. Scully was there and Stone was about to torment him so that he would tell him everything word by word… poor dude… So everything will turn out, anyway. By the way, Stone immediately thinking that I’m the potential reason of him being refused by a girl is insulting but also flattering at the same time…”

“Judy, I’ve never denied that it’s pretty difficult to bear Stone’s remarks without saying a word. But getting a taste of his own medicine only gets him fired up all the more, he always wants to have the last word, he’s simply just like that. And if you want to be the quicker one and make his jaw really drop, you have to get your shit together. But to be honest, I’d be happier if you’d keep your quarrels on the level of innocent teasing…”

“It was already everything but innocent in that very moment he heard my name for the first time. It didn’t depend on me, it’s all his fault and he has to face the music at least once his lifetime!” she declares determined.

I better activate plan A as fast as possible before someone gets killed.

***

I can’t wait this terrible day finally come to an end. I just want to take a shower and have some sleep… but I don’t even know how I could get myself to close my eyes, this place is a mess. What if cockroaches come out of their hideouts in the second I turn off the lights? But I’m so tired… what if I asked the driver to open the tour bus for me? Sleeping in the bunk bed sounds definitely safer… but what if he’s already sleeping? I don’t even know his room number and the reception desk was empty too; I don’t feel like looking for the staff in this haunted house. I better start with a shower, it always helps clear my mind. I’m so busy with my own thoughts that I basically bump into Beth in the hallway who’s walking sleepily towards their room; she must be coming from the shower judging from her wet hair.

“Already back here? It wasn’t a long evening…” she mutters in a tired voice.

“I’ve had enough of it. Is everything okay?” I examine her resigned face.

“Yes… uhm… Ed was typing lyrics the whole evening and then he passed out… so I had a shower and I’m about to go to bed too.” she rubs her eyes. “Carefully with the water tap, I almost scalded myself due to that crap. It’s better to wait at least thirty seconds before standing under the water and be careful when you try to change the temperature, there’s not much transition between ice cold and scalding hot, I had to mess around a lot until I could find the optimal level.”

“If I can’t work it out, I’ll just shower with cold water, that wouldn’t be the first time.” I wave.

“Ugh, if you’re a masochist…”

“It’s not the most pleasant thing I can imagine but at least it’s not dangerous either. It can be even refreshing sometimes.”

“Oookay… as you want... And there are no hooks in the shower either, by the way. But no bugs there so far either… Good night!” she pats my shoulder with almost closed eyes and totters to their door.

As I unlock the door of our room, I reach in with one arm to turn on the light and wait for a few seconds before entering; I don’t want to see my little roommates running in the corners. I lift the blanket on my bed only to realize the bedclothes aren’t the cleanest and there’s no towel prepared for the guests. Thank goodness I didn’t listen to Effie when she tried to dissuade me from bringing my own one; she claimed hotels always offer towels and travel-size personal care products… So much for Effie’s assumptions. Of course I also brought my toiletry bag decorated with treble keys and musical notes containing small bottles of shower gel, body lotion, a tiny tube of toothpaste and… due to the foresight of Effie, my “emergency package” now includes also gratuitous amount of condoms that stare at me accusingly every time I unzip it. I decide to leave my clothes in the room since I don’t like when there’s no place where I could arrange them properly, I don’t want my sleeping shirt and boxers to get wet either. There’s no living soul here, no one would see me walking a few meters only wearing a towel…

But when I pull it out of my backpack, I realize there’s one thing I didn’t take into account: I brought a smaller towel to spare place for other clothes. As I wrap it around my body, I have to trick for a while until I can arrange it in a way that it covers both my chest and my backside at the same time. Since it’s not only narrow but also short, I can forget the ordinary method of walking, I can basically only waddle pressing both arms tight to my body without exposing anything. I try to exercise this ridiculous way of moving pacing back and forth between the two sides of the room a few times and I end up sitting back on the bed hesitating if I should dress up again. I’m at a public place, after all. But fuck it, I’m tired, I had tequila and this day can’t get any worse, anyway. I peek out to the hallway to make sure I won’t get unexpected company and I set off to cover the longest twenty meters in my life. In duckwalk. But my bravery pays off, I encounter no one so on entering the shower, I finally allow myself to relax.

I put the toiletry bag on the classroom chair in front of the sinks in the forefront and fish out the shower gel bottle. I leave my glasses on the bag and head towards the innermost compartments. I decide to hang my towel on the wall separating the opposite compartments and after turning on the water, immediately jump backwards to safe distance. Beth’s advice on the adjustment proves to be useful and a few minutes later, I’m already enjoying the pleasant, warm water. Of course I brought my favorite, rough sponge too, it always helps refresh my blood circulation.

I catch myself rubbing my body stronger and stronger as I involuntarily recall tonight’s events. What a prick. Of course he deserved everything, I don’t have to feel ashamed about anything. It was him who looked for trouble. His girlfriend would have felt terrible, if she’d seen that disgusting scene so I did the right thing. His huge ego just can’t accept, this time someone was smarter than him. It’s so pathetic when a man needs this cheap kind of confirmation to feel his masculinity ensured. But come on, Stone Gossard’s name referred in connection with manliness and masculinity is the most ridiculous idea in the world, he’s got the body and mind of a thirteen-year-old.

I turn off the water and spill a few drops of shower gel into my palm but as soon I touch my shoulder with it, I hear a noise. A squeaky noise. A squeaky noise of an opening door. Oh no. No, no, no. The smacking sound of slippers on the tiled floor leaves no doubts that I have a visitor and the lazy, shuffling steps are approaching. I pull in the corner and don’t even dare breathe, I’m shivering but not only of cold, shit, what if it’s a stranger? What if it’s a man? What if I make some noise only with my mere existence? I got trapped here naked and… The sound of steps ceases and the water starts running right in the shower cubicle next to mine. Luckily, the wall is high enough to hide me although I can’t check the other person without revealing my presence either. A few seconds have gone by when humming gets mixed into the sound of water… Oh shit, it’s a male voice. The humming slowly turns into singing and my blood runs cold when I realize: I know this nasal bleat.

“If you didn’t come to party, don’t bother knockin’ on my door…”

[jennyfair7]

Phan Survey 2018

Thanks @wheel-of-fish​ and @onemaskedball​ for the tag, sorry for the delay!

Basic info

Name (or what we should call you): jennyfair

Age: 35

Pronouns: she/her

Location: Ohio, USA

Discord: N/A

Rabb.it: N/A

FFN: jennyfair

AO3: N/A

Deviantart: jennyfair, but I haven’t posted in years!

Instagram: private

Shop(s): N/A

Other: Trade list at the-fairground.webs.com/index.htm 

Phan history

1. General phan since: around 1992

2. Part of Tumblr phandom since: earlier this year

3. One-sentence summary of how you got into Phantom: Saw the Charles Dance miniseries and heard music from the ALW musical at various school chorus concerts

4. Phantom-related performances attended: I’ve seen the ALW musical 43 times (and counting) since 1996.  Toronto, Broadway, London, Las Vegas, and the US Tour (old and new versions)

5. Adaptations you’re familiar with: Any of them I can get my hands on.  If it’s even vaguely Phantom-y, I’m there. 

6. Other relevant tidbits you’d like to share (collections, costumes, celebrity encounters, etc.): I have a decent collection of souvenir brochures, SFMBC music boxes, random merch/memorabilia from various productions.  One of my favorite items is a cast/crew bath robe from the old Stuttgart Production.  A favorite phan moment was meeting Ian Jon Bourg during the VIP experience in Vegas with @jollyhigh!

Blog

1. Main blog: jennyfair7

2. Phantom sideblog, if applicable: N/A

3. Other sideblogs you’d like us to know about: N/A

4. Your blog focus/aesthetic, if you have one: Pretty much all Phantom, all day

5. Types of fan content you produce, if any: fan fic, audio boots

6. Types of content you reblog (Phantom or otherwise): production photos, art, fic, whatever I like

7. Do you post or reblog NSFW content? Technically I posted a slightly NSFW fic, so yes?

8. Other general interests: my cats

Phan favorites

1. Favorite adaptation(s): the ALW musical

2. Favorite character(s): Erik, Christine

3. Ship(s) you ship, if any: E/C and R/C 

4. Favorite actor(s): Too hard to narrow it down, but a few favorites are Peter Karrie, Scott Davies, Lisa Vroman, Elizabeth Welch, Michael Shawn Lewis

5. Other Phantom-related obsessions: I love when Phantom actors get vocal/pervy about it - give me all the gasping and moaning.  Trading/trying to catch ‘em all.    

Fandom involvement

1. Favorite phan blogs: Still new to the game so I’m enjoying all the lovely Phantom content out there!

2. Content you’d love to see more of: Production photos, one-shot fics, art

3. Phandom discord server(s) that you frequent: N/A

4. Do you/would you attend phan-hosted streams? If so, what would you like to see streamed? Haven’t attended one yet, may attend one in the future!

5. Do you read fanfiction? If so, what kind(s)? Yes, but the motivation comes and goes.  I’m not usually partial to modern fics, I prefer ALW/Leroux/Kay based.

6. Anything else you’d like to add? It’s great being part of a Phantom community again!  If you remember me from the PFN/PPN/POL/etc days, feel free to message me or say hi!

I know I’m late to the game so probably everyone has been tagged already, so I’m only tagging @jollyhigh to stay safe! ;)

[afaimscorner]

Why the Supergirl Fandom is the most horrible Fandom on tumblr

So appearantly everyone left in the Supergirl Fandom on tumblr is an asshole.

I started a new Arrowverse Blog only a couple of days ago that collects my 100 Favorite things (characters and ships so far). I dared to include Kara and Lex as a ship into the blog an named then Kalex. Of course I was informed immedatley that this was the wrong ship name because I belonged to Kara and Alex. I then said, that Kara and Alex are Superagent or Danvers Sisters to me and I never saw Kalex used for them anywhere and pointed out that it I came up with Kalex for Kara and Lex and was proud on it and it took some time to came up with it and therefore did not want to change it (it is my blog after all, if I would want to call them BestLoversintheUniverse it would be within my rights). And yes I dared to use the hashtag, but along with the hashtags Kara Danvers and Lex Luthor. The post got exactly one like and one reblog, I am literally the only person who ships those two in any shape or form. And I am pretty sure there are other fandoms where Kalex is a ship name for someone else as well. So no one would ever think this post is about Alex Danver, because it literally conatained the  title: Kalex: Kara Danvers/ Lex Luthor.  And then two pictures of Kara and Lex, the name of the Arrowverse shows and one additional sentence.

In theory you are allowed to post anything you want on your own blog, but not on tumblr. I was again informed that Kalex as an Kara/Alex Shipname predates the show and that it was the tag on AO3 - again this is tumblr not AO3, where by the way a lot of tags a used for more than one thing. Maybe I am smarter then the rest of the world but I always realized that Jarley Fics that starred Joker and Harley Quinn were not about Marley and Jacob when they popped up among my “Glee” Fics, and again, this was one post on tumblr, not a fic or anything for AO3. Apparently I was disrespecting the established “realitvly small“ Kalex Fandom. Because yes, it’s totally okay to attak another person if this person is a singular person, but a small community who just has to accept that there is one post with one like and one reblog out there that uses their shipname for another ship in the same fandom is totally the victim here.

I get it, The Shippers That Shall Not Be Named have destroyed the show and the fandom for all of us. But that is not reason to make life for everyone else harder. If it offends you that someone “steals” your shipname in a singular post in their own blog that is in no way official and won’t ever be official because no one but this persons is interested in this ship in any way, you really should turn of the news some times to get an perspective.

Believe it or not, it takes time and work to do a new blog and to make a new post, it takes time to come up with a new shipname for a ship that can easily get confused with the Ship That Destroyes Them All here and everywhere else or you know Clark and Lex.

But, yeah, I get it, I can be aggressive too: From now on Kara and Lex will be forever: The Ship I am not allowed to call Kalex because of Kara/Alex Shippers. You think you are different from those Stans that destroyed the fandom for everyone else? Newsflash: You are exactly like them!

Everyone here is. And I am so sick of this.

You know I don’t care if someone other means Kara and Alex with Kalex or means Laurel and Oliver with Canarrow or Wally and Barry with Westallen. I do care however if someone forbids me to use those names for the characters I use them for. Because the first thing it in everyones right, because shipnames are not canon, and everyone is entiteled to use the one they like - Kanvers and Superbat, Karry and Superflash - most ships have more than one name. But if there is new ship without name and someone makes one up for them that is already taken, you damn well let them have it and either ignore them or feel offended  in a silent way. Or you know, you could start using the secondary one for your ship,which I know is out of your way of thinking.

So let everyone know that Kalex-Shippers suck as much as those that turned them and everyone else into a sobbing mess.

Here, I said it.

Supergirl is dead on tumbl. Thanks to all of you people.

[karasmoak01]

Bonds, a Karry story

*I do not own any of the characters of DC

Chapter 1: strange arrival 

He had just given his eleven-year-old daughter her supper when Joe heard a loud bang, like a car crash, but he knew, in his cop gut that this was not an ordinary car crash. “Stay here Iris.” He told his daughter, before getting up and taking his gun with him. “What is going on?” Iris said, a little panic in her voice. “Don’t worry, I going to check it out, but stay here ok sweetheart?” Iris nodded.

“Oh my god!” Joe said, once he saw the cause of the bang he had heard. “What is that?” he asked himself, when he came closer to the object in front of him. Once all the dust had cleared out of the air, the detective saw clearly this object, but it wasn’t an object, it was a spaceship! “What the …?” he paused, once he saw what was in the ship: a young girl the same age as his daughter!

He took the top of the spaceship slowly and carefully, so not to scare the little girl inside of the ship. “Don’t worry, you are safe.” Joe said, giving her his hand calmly and slowly so the girl could understand what he said and not be scared by his movement, but with the confusion on her face, Joe could tell she did not understand a word he just said. But, even if she could not understand him, the young girl still took Joe’s hand and let him take her inside his home, even if she was clearly scared.

Once they got inside, Joe felt the girl tightened her hold on his hand, but did not expect it to be so strong, she almost broke his hand. “Who is this?” another girl came in the living room. “Come here Iris, but slowly.” Joe said to Iris, which the latter listened and came slowly to her dad. “This is a girl I found, she crashed here, I hope you will be kind to her, she might stay with us for a while.” Joe explained to Iris, who nodded, but knew their new guest did not understand him, from the confusion still in her eyes.

The next day, Joe brought his guest to the precinct, where he worked, but did not take him to his desk, but to the forensic scientist’s lab, where a man was already working. “Danvers, could you help me with something?” Joe asked, knowing this ma had a little history with weird things, almost extraterrestrial, from his old job in the government. “What can I help you with detective West?” the man asked, looking toward the child who was holding Joe’s hand. “I found her last night, she was in a spaceship, I know you use to work for the government about that kind of stuff and you studied that kind of stuff, so I was wondering if you could help me with her.” Joe asked, no longer holding the child’s hand but putted it on her shoulder. “Of course, I can help, first, what did the pod look like, it might help with knowing what she is, so we can teach her English and our world.” M. Danvers said, a smile on his face. “Here, it looked like this.” Joe said, handing a picture he had taken from the ship before coming inside with the kid the night before. “Well it is alien that is for sure, you brought her to the right person.” Danvers said, “But I am not sure which race though, I will go check it out right now.” He went to his computer and scanned the photo and began his research of the symbols from the pod. “I think it is a Kryptonian ship, so she must be from Krypton.” Danvers said to Joe, who came to check on his research. “Ok, so how does this help us Jeremiah, how can we help her with this knowledge?” Joe asked, looking between M. Danvers and this young girl he had found. “It depends, do you want to raise her yourself or do you want to give her to someone else?” Jeremiah said, looking right in Joe’s eyes. “I don’t know, I want to help her, but I don’t know if I can help her and raise Iris all by myself…” Joe said, wanting to help. “Well I could help you, but if you accept my help, you will have two daughters to take care of when I will be done. I know enough about Krypton to help you teach her English.” Jeremiah said. “It is a good idea, so when could you start?” Joe asked, “I could start now, I don’t have anything to do since I’ve already finish what the captain asked me to do.” Jeremiah told Joe, who nodded and pushed the young girl in his direction, before leaving to go do his own work.

“So… where do we start…” Jeremiah asked himself, looking at the little girl in front of him. “I think we should stat with this…” he said, getting up and and going toward a shelf on the other side of the office, taking a pair of glasses laced with lead, we had since his encounter with Superman two decades back. “Here, take these, they will help you.” He said putting the glasses on the child’s face.

A few hours later, when Joe came back from a crime scene and wanted to go pick Iris from school but first he had to get the child he left with Jeremiah Danvers. “Dad!!” Joe heard when got in the lab, he did not have time to dodge what came at him with superspeed, a young girl who gave him a big hug. “So, you thought a few words huh?” Joe asked Danvers, after ending the hug. “In a few hours I thought her all I could, which is a lot, considering a third of it was to teach her her powers she gets on this planet. I also got her name: Kara Zor-El, she is indeed from Krypton.” Jeremiah said looking at Joe. “I did what I could, it is your turn to do your part, she can’t control al her powers, but she can control her heat vision now, so you don’t have to worry about broken beds.” Jeremiah added before getting his coat. “Close the door behind you when you leave.” Joe nodded. “So, Kara huh, can you tell me about you?” Joe asked, while he walked with Kara to leave to precinct. She did a ‘no’ sign before shoving her face in his leg, Joe could feel her fear, but he understood it, Kara had lost her entire world.

Joe was making dinner for him and his daughters, following Jeremiah’s instructions regarding Kara’s food diet, which was to eat a lot according to Joe, he had to cook for ten, even if they were three. In the living room, he could hear Iris teaching Kara how to pronounce new words, because for Kara, a sentence was only including a pronoun, verb, and the object, but the wrong type of pronoun. A smile could be seen on Joe’s face, he was happy Iris had a sister to play with and have fun.