#….maybe next pay check
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Genuinely sad I can’t justify this purchase.
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I've got $80 in my bank account but the demons say I should buy books.
#i just want the first onnibus of vampire hunter D light novels#my check this week is sad though so maybe next week the stars will align#especially since i gotta pay for the internet friday zzzz#but like i also want to actually make moves towards paying off my debt#but i also dont really care because i could also drop a couple bands on a hanfu for a lan wangji cosplay#and a custom suit for another cosplay which is more fun
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😢
#class today was HARD#I was struggling a lot today tbh#and of course this new guy started working in the care team#and he’s my age or younger#I’m sure I’ve vented about this before#but I get so incredibly jealous when it comes to young people doing good#and like it wasn’t just that#we were checking in and he did his and he said ‘happy’ and I swear I wanted to walk over there and choke him#so you’re saying you have a really good job that I’m sure pays great#and you’re happy#cool cool cool#both those things aren’t realistic or attainable for me#but whatever#I’m sitting in the parking lot and not sure what to do right now#normally I’d go out and smoke and chill for a bit#but since I’m trying to abstain it’s so hard#i did a lot of crying today so my eyes are tired#but I don’t want to sleep the whole day and waste it#ooooofda I should have left sooner#this family came out (parents and daughter) and of course they’re parked right next to me#and I see this mom and dad taking care of their daughter and showing up for her#fuck me I wish I had that growing up#anywayyyyyy#if you want to tip me so I can maybe go to a store and do some retail therapy#I wouldn’t say no#for now idk what I’m gonna do probably end up asleep 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️#shut up rosie
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having a tongue tie as a dyke is genuinely my biggest nerf….they knew i would be too powerful if my tongue had full motion
#don’t worry tho I still use my mouth like the best of them it just severely aches and also my mouth might bleed a little after#will I pay $4000 to remove this next time I can afford a big purchase like that . maybe#no but actually u should check ur tongue because they can cause problems if severe enough like mine &2$:&:#the more you know#ramblings
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i'm going to see an apartment i really really like on wednesday (it is SO BIG! right in the neighborhood i like best! outside building is beautiful, on a tree-lined street, hardwood floors, so many windows!!) but i like. am trying to keep myself from getting too attached ahead of time bc it's just like a littleeee too expensive and i really should be realistic and get something about 100-200 dollars cheaper. but i love it soooo much, i want it so bad lmao.
#liveblogging life#it's a two-bedroom but it just squeaked within my budget#but plus utilities parking and pet rent (?) it'll be about 100 dollars over what i want to pay#and even then it's still on the upper range#like i can afford it - i double checked - but it means i'll have to be more careful with spending cash#and i'll only be able to put so much away in savings#idk man i'm kind of waiting until after i see it bc maybe i'll actually hate it in person#but it's going to be a serious debate on if i want to spend that much more on rent for a bigger beautiful apt#or if i'd rather save my cash on a smaller less beautiful apt so that i can buy other stuff and save for a house faster#bc like. i'm probably not going to move again for a while so wherever i go i want to make sure i really like it#and like this apt i have now i do really like but i did have to choose it bc i didnt really have any other options#whereas now i am pretty much an ideal renter so i think i have my pick of the litter so it means i can really afford to be choosy#idk idk this is stressful lmao#i have like eight showings scheduled for next week im hoping one of them seems like the one so i can go ahead and apply#also like if im going to end up spending so much on an apt shouldnt it be for an apt with a ton of amenities? like a washer/dryer#or balcony or community rooms or s/t. arghhhhhhh.
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my mouth is bleeding inexplicably again
#google says i have an std (virgin) or a stress disorder (i don’t). mom says it’s a ph imbalance? could be. i think it’s an iron deficiency#course this is all talk. doesn’t matter cus we’re not going to do anything about it 🤷♂️ we can pay for three doctor visits a year and i’ve#already used up all three. maybe at my next general check up
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scanning the past present and future for What Is Making Me Anxious truly it is anyone's guess
#autism brain: hello??? *please hold for processing thoughts and feelings. current wait times are 2-5 working days. do not call again.*#worthy contenders:#made a personal post about being disabled and therefore unemployed.#it's hot so maybe it'll be hard to sleep tonight.#used my credit card to buy something that i can instantly pay off with my debit card as soon as it shows up on the banking app -#but it hasn't showed up there for me to be able to 'complete' it yet and is therefore looming.#getting a haircut next week.#currently resisting the urge to compulsively check and recheck the weather forecast.#LITERALLY COULD BE ANYTHING ELSE TOO :P#but we stay silly :3 i'm gonna listen to mumsy and cook dinner ✌️
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hey uh. if I'm playing your mobile game & hit an ad for a boost and you give me this shit you're not just advertising fox! you're also advertising literally any other mobile game similar to yours! because I won't want to play yours anymore! hope this helps ❤️
#i had it muted but i just saw him mouthing before putting on a mask & thought 'yep that sounds right'#mine#cat snack bar#fuck this game honestly i just want a cute idle thing to check in on#not something where i have to either pay or just do probably HUNDREDS of ads for the boosts needed to *MAYBE* win an event#before it fucking RESTARTS the next week & i have to do it all over
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wanted to order in some dinner today and then remembered what my credit card bill just looked like and well... nvm
#the concerts + the car + a bunch of books + registering for dance#and i had to pay for tuna's rabies/check up#plus i have to buy new glasses next month probably...#maybe i don't need take out#maybe i do have food at home
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getting a surprise tattoo happy saturday
#kinda scared if how much its gonna be but. fuck it we ball#and its one ive wanted for a while so :)#i really wanna pay for my bf to get a piercing but. ghats gona be a Lot :(#talk tag#edit jk it was only $75 so i left a good tip. i shouldve bought my bf a piercing too but i litch rally dont have enough in my checking to#do so :( we're maybe going again next week tho >:)
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more and more lately for some reason ive been considering getting a job w the national parks service or at some kind of state park like a forest ranger
#demi.txt#atm my main goal is just to get a stable job that pays enough that i can build/own my own house#government jobs like that are pretty good i hear#if i work that for like 20 years maybe i can get some solid retirement checks#40 with like a thousand or 2 checks in the mail sounds pretty good#i like being outside too#i think it would be a nice job#ive been thinking about job stuff a lot lately#im going to enter college soon#like next year hopefully#im just not sure what to study#i guess im kind of lost in like#deciding if i want to focus on my hobbies or something more stable#i thought about going into animation or game design but idk those are a lot less stable#and i hear both those industries are really difficult to work in for a lot of reasons#if i get a nice government job like this i could maybe do that for awhile and then focus on my other stuff later? ugh idk though#im worried ill like. lose my hobbies or passion for art if i get a full time job in something else#i work a small public service/city job rn and its like been making me consider getting into recreation as a career path possibly#my dad is a college art professor and he makes really really good money and doesnt even work full time and hes been suggesting maybe#that i get into that but idk if i would like teaching or be a good teacher#he gets really good benefits too though#like dental and medical#ugh but if i did that i would want to like. start quickly so i can move up to being a full professor fast too and i kind of want to#try different careers and shit. maybe thats something i could possibly go into once im older#hmm yeah#yeah#hough. idk though like if i become a forest service person and do that for 20 years would a college even wanna hire me?#i wouldnt really have the experience.. i would have to go back to college for that and then get some experience with that#ugh...... thinking about getting older is scary!!! :(#i need to hustle more
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got to campus an hour before my class started and dear fucking god did i apparently predict that my morning would go so wrong immediately FDLKSDLFKS
#ive walked so much in the past hour and stressed so much too KLFDSKL#i got to campus and had to get off the bus early and walk in bc there was construction going on#so the bus couldnt go onto campus so i walk to the library to print my paper#bc my printer at my apartment has been broken for a while so i was like 'okay ill come early itll be easy ill have time to spare'#so i went to the library to print and the printer wasnt working for whatever reason#so i went to the support desk like 'hey its not working?' and they were like 'oh maybe u deposited the money for the printer wrong'#so i double checked and it was in the right place and it still went back and it wasnt working anyways so they told me to try another printer#so i went back and tried all 5 and none of them worked#so they told me to go up to IT so i did and he said maybe theres an issue w ur card lemme reset the association#so he did and i reassociated it and it still didnt work#so he was like yeah go to the campus card office#so i have to walk across campus to go there and then walk up 4 flights of stairs and i talk to the lady at the booth#and i tell her the issue and she tells me that someone reissued my card in 2020??? i was not in the city KFLDSKFL#so she had to reprint it for me and she said that i could use the printer on the same floor next to the office#lo and behold: it isnt working KFDSLK so i have to walk BACK to the library across campus#and i FINALLY get it printed and walk ALL THE WAY BACK to the building where my class is#and i did all this with a mere 4 minutes to spare before my class started KLFSDKLFSDL#anyways im exhausted FKLDSKLFDS#iri.txt#i dont need to pay attention to this class anymore bc all the work is done so im gonna gif matthew as a treat for my struggle KLDSFKLD
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I'm envious of Mr Beast so much like if I had the money to throw around for the betterment of humanity I wouldn't have to give a 2 dollar tip I could tip everybody like 200 dollars!!! What a cruel world we live in
#I don't care if you hate mr beast btw I can maybe understand dislike but hate??#like he isn't one of the most committed modern day philanthropists. get real#anyways my goal in life is to become so bloated with money that I can throw it everywhere#imagine making enough fat checks to buy someone's entire amazon wishlist. fund their surgeries. pay off their house for the next ten years#sigh
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VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!
Baby’s upside-down :D
What a silly goof!
What a handsome lad 💕
#Spider#Nhandu Chromatus#This is the first time I've seen them do this! It's possible they've done it before like while I was sleeping or not paying attention#But I came home today and checked on them and they were! This!!#They're doing the spider thing!! So proud <3 <3#Only reason considering getting a newer device - potentially take better pictures of Baby lol#Anyway also update post time: I've been unfortunately busy for the last ~~~~ so the amount of Actually Finished™ stuff is sparse#But hopefully I'll have at least enough for - if not a TV Guide - then a few days next week#Still full of plenty of ideas just y'know - energy - time - ability - distractions - scratch work#Also hopefully gonna try for some streaming either this or next month to work on those scratch projects!#They just keep building up lol#To the point where my current scratch notebook is just about full actually I've got like maybe five pages left#I still can't find my favourite brand again :/ Someone send me black-cover Norcoms I'll open a PO box for Norcom 1 Subjects istg lol#Or else find me who own the distribution rights currently! It's not the ''Dollar'' family anymore#Then again I've only checked Dollar Tree but that's where it always was! Hhg overflow stores sheesh#Anyway anyway anyway
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not a very relevant post at all, once again just talking to myself, but I really feel my interest in the kpop industry and checking up on many groups fading so fast. wkly and lghtsm were the two “next generation” groups I liked the most and was the most attached to, and, idk, my enjoyment of them has become really … stunted mostly after the members leaving, and the obvious display of the fact that neither company wants to keep working on the (good) sounds and concepts they had going that I really liked … wkly’s next comeback (if ist decide to give them one at all) will probably not be in the same genre and style as ven para was, but I don’t think they’ll care to go back to bubbly, fun, songs sounding more like after school or tag me because that’s considered “too childish” and ist clearly doesn’t do that. with lghtsm it’s obvious a 180 is coming, and considering cube’s most popular group these days I don’t think it’ll be a 180 with…music enjoyable to me… plus idk the removal of the two members makes me feel so off. I like all eight, and I want to see the remaining six flourish too, but even if I end up liking the new stuff it’s going to feel…wrong.
#like if the moon girls and/or pitigi go I think I’ll probably not pay attention to anything in K-pop outside of song recs anymore#and watching old stuff#these are the four groups I recently have idk. clicked with the most#there are more groups I like but w o.nf for example even though they’re very likeable and nice I don’t get the same urge to watch their#shows and behind the scenes and check out what random festival they’re performing at next week#ujusonyeo I never felt quite as strongly ant as any of these while I still like them#but by the looks of it they…could very much be the first to go out of these#maybe the only in a long time#long post#negativity#a looong time ago I watched rv/ twice stuff but yeah I don’t do that anymore#but idk I’m miffed about the two groups that since their debut I was really looking forward to the future of were … stunted this early#and they feel like the least priority for both of their respective companies#despite having so much to give and having given so much#wkly even had a hit song! ugh#but yea after school was mini shine 2020 if#*i guess#judging by current kpop trends I don’t think there’s going to be any new debuts blowing me away lmao#not even going to bring up weme bc…..#*2021…omg#pov why are all of my fave groups mid tiers barely hanging on or ones that aren’t hdjshshs
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knowing i can do nothing right now vs feeling a need to do something right now
#the doctors thats 2 mins away from my house has not been accepting new enrollments for a year ish now#and they finally are and ill need to switch doctors bc im finishing uni and cant go to the uni doctor anymore#BUT im about to get my next t shot w this doctor so i don't want to jump to anything rash and shes nice and she seems#like shes okay w seeing me once or twice after my trip#but if i enrol w the new doctors now i could still get my shot I'd just have to pay for it which i dont at my current doctor#but! the doctors has an app so i booked an appointment for asap which is. 6 days from now#which is 3 days before my next t shot#so perhaps. i could enrol a few days later and that would work?#i booked the appointment to talk to her about it and to check vaccines before my trip#i would like to sort the new doctor and maybe meet them before my trip#but its midnight and until i talk to my doctor i dont want to do anything but im so scared enrollments will close again#i was checking monthly since like december last year and they were always closed for new enrollments#it would be so so good to be so close idk what their prices are like but i need a doctor so
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