#ð€ . . . ᶻ ð ð° (á á)
you're all i have left ⯠ft. childe
angst bcs idk what else to do w/ my life
pt. O1 : pt. O2
the fatui harbingers lead dangerous lives, including childe. with his newborn son, it's getting harder and harder to keep everyone safe. and as much as it pains him he might just have to leave.
notes : 1245 words of pure angst :DD
Ajax sighs, gently setting down the sleeping baby in the crib. His son. He has the same hair color as you, but he shares Ajaxâs eyes. As the baby finally begins to settle, Ajax takes a step back.
The door is ajar, light from the hallway seeping in. You're asleep on your guysâ shared bed, arms curled against you chest.
Ajax misses when they were wrapped around him.
âIâŠâ Ajaxâs voice cracks, âIâm sorry,â he whispers to his son. Ajax knows the baby canât understand, but he doesnât care.
Youâre a weak spot for him. Someone can easily exploit you to get to him. Or worse, someone could hurt you. Ajax canât let that happen.
He kisses the baby on the head. Come morning, Ajax will be gone.
Heâs about to leave the room quietly when he sees you stir in your sleep. You let out a soft sigh before settling back into sleep again.
Ajax is suddenly overwhelmed. He canât just do this, he canât just leave you here. He grabs the blanket from beside the crib and gently places it over your shoulders. He wants to wake you but he also wants what little rest you can get.
Ajax wants to stay.
But he canât.
You slowly crack my eyes open, âAjax? Whyâre you up so late?â you move to the side of the bed, âCome back to bed.â
Archons. How can he do this. Tears well in the corner of his eyes, and heâs never been so thankful that darkness of the room hides them.
Ajax walks back to the bed. Thereâs something different about him.
Your eyes grow wide when you make a connection. He looks like he just woke up himself.
âIâŠâ he pauses. He canât tell you the truth. But he doesnât want to lie to you. His eyes dart around the room as he struggles to come up with an excuse. âI saw that you were cold,â he lies.
You know. Youâve read him well enough. You know heâs lying but you know the truth would hurt more than the lie.
âYou weâre going to leave?â
âDarlingâŠâ Ajax sighs, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face into the crook of your neck. Heâs holding you so close.
Youâre everything he has, and the way he feels the tears that stream down your face and fall onto his shoulder makes Ajaxâs resolve waver.
He doesnât want to leave you.
He wants to stay.
But he canât. Heâs told himself that a million times tonight, his mind running endless scenarios of what can happen if his enemies ever find out about you. He loves you too much to stay.
Your grip on his shirt tightens, and you bury your face deeper into the crook in his neck. âPleaseâŠâ Archons, you can barely see through your tears, âPlease donât leave. Youâre all I have left.â
Ajax swallows hard. He hates the lies. He hates having to do this. His love for you is the biggest reason to stay.
YetâŠ
He has to.
Ajax looks you in the eyes.
Can you tell that something is wrong? Or do you believe the lie? Ajax is holding back tears as hard as he can. The words feel like rocks in his mouth. He hates himself for doing this but it has to be done, for both your safety and the sleeping childâs.
âShhh,â he whispers in your ear, âgo back to sleep.â
Your voice is wavering with every word you speak, âNot without you, please donât to this to me, I cantâŠâ Your voice trails off.
I canât do this without you.
Ajaxâs hands are shaking. Heâs tries to hold back his tears but some have slipped free. He brushes cups his hands against your face.
Youâre crying because of him, and it breaks his heart.
âDarlingâŠâ he replies softly, âlisten to me. There are enemies trying to hurt me. Theyâre looking for me, not you. If I go then you can be safe our son can be safe.â
Ajax kisses the top of your head, âI love you. I always will but youâre not safe with me.â
âBut it doesnât matter! We can get through it⊠Ajax i canât do this without you.â Your tears are freely streaming down my cheeks. Your voice breaks and you stare up at Ajax with a blurry vision.
You break Ajax. How you whisper to him, how desperate you look for him to just stay.
Your words do what Ajaxâs resolve couldnât. Ajax hugs you tightly, refusing to let go. He doesnât want to do this, he doesnât want to leave you.
But the world is a cruel place, and Ajax knows how much a burden he could be to you and your guysâ son.
The two of you are his everything.
Yet his words still taste like poison in his mouth.
Ajax kisses you. Slowly, gently, tasting every inch of your lips. His lips taste like salt from his tears, and the kiss holds no desire or lust.
Instead, his kisses are soft, sweet, and desperate.
He doesnât want to go.
He refuses to.
But his kisses tell you that as much as his words refuse to, he might have to.
He knows the pain heâs about to cause, but he canât bear causing more. So even if it physically hurts him to leave, he has to.
âI love you,â Ajax whispers. âI love you more than anything. I never want to leave you.â
âBut, I have to.â
Ajax walks to the crib. He picks up the now crying baby and rocks him gently. He wipes away the babyâs tears as he continues speaking to the baby.
âDarling, listen to me, listen to me. Youâre going to be okay, okay? I love you very very much, very very much and that will never change. Daddy will always love you, okay?â
He speaks through tears to his baby son. His words are strained but the emotion he feels is raw and honest.
Ajax looks back at you, wanting more than anything to kiss you one last time but knowing he would never be able to leave if he did.
With a final kiss on his sonâs cheek, Ajax sets his baby down in the crib. He looks at you once more. There is a pleading in your eyes. In your eyes, he can see how much this is hurting you.
âIâm sorry.â He whispers.
Heâs about to leave.
Ajax looks at you one last time. He swallows hard, taking in every last detail of you. Your eyes. The shape of your lips. Your hair. In the darkness of night, he can see the stains of tears against your cheeks.
He knows he wonât see you again for a very long time, and his heart is breaking. The pain of letting go and the pain of holding on are tearing him apart. But he has to go.
Ajax backs towards the door.
And right before he opens it, he turns.
âGoodbye, darling. I love you.â
Ajaxâs voice is thick as if heâs trying to fight off tears once more. He wonât win this fight. He can never win this fight, not against you. Not against your eyes, your lips, your love for him and him for you.
He leaves, shutting the door after him. It isnât long before you hear the sound of footsteps on grass and then silence.
Heâs gone. And youâre on your own.
© kainyte do not repost, copy, edit or translate
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Last updated: Aprilâ¢7â¢2024
Fem!Reader/masc!reader will be specified, otherwise itâs all gender neutral
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free emojiz !! â¡
à 𧷠⧠Ë. áµáµ ðà«®ê° Ë¶â¢ àŒ â¢Ë¶ê±á â¡âŸâïœ¡ðŠ¹ Â°â©â¡à§ â§âË ð® â
âËââ§ê°á â à»ê± â§âËð«§â Ë âàšà§Ëᶻ ð ð°ââ
Ëââ§âËâ©åœ¡ââ(ããâ)ââðŠ¹Â°â§â
à¹à£ ââ Ëâàšâ¡à§â Ëââ.à³à¿*:âËâ¹â¡âËÊ á¢âË⧠ïŸ.ౚà§â â¹Ë àŒ à³âËðŠ¹â§Ë°.â§âËðïžâ© âËð§â¹â¡à³ðð°ã
€/á - Ë -ãð¥.ð¥ Ý Ëà«®âŽ˶⢠. ⢠â
âáËËË â
ËËËâ
âËâ¹ á°ââ®àŒâê©â Ëâàšà§Ëð¢ÖŽà»ð·ÍÖðááâð§â¹ð¹Ëàšà§âËââ¡ððžâ° â®ð®â©Â°ïœ¡ââž ð§â®â¹Ë. â¡âË-ËËââââââ â
â® â
ââ©â©:â©â©ð¥â§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ.ËËË â¡ ËËËðŸð¥ð( ê© á¯
ê©;)â âà»ê°àŸàœ²ã£Ë -ê±àŸàœ²à§§ËËË ê° â¡ ê± ËËË`âŠ Ë ÖŽÖ¶ ðâ¹(à¹>Øâ¢Ìà¹)ðŸð¥ðà³ ðš â§ Ë ð â¹Ë. â¡ð®ðŠŽÊðÉððŸð®ðŠŽÊðÉððŸà§ â§âË ð® â
âð¥ 圡 ৠË.ৠâ§âË ð® â
âà³ ðš â§ Ë ð â¹Ë. â¡(à¹>â¡<à¹)(à¹>â¡<à¹)(à¹>â¡<à¹)ê°àšà§ê±ê°àšà§ê±â Ë âàšà§ËãÂ°Ë ÊðÉ êŠê·â©©ð«Â°â¢`^âðŠŽ.°`â¢ðà 𧷠⧠Ë. áµáµ âËðŸË°ð°ðžâïžâËðŸË°ðŸðâð®ððŠŽð§â(à¹>â¡<à¹)àâ¡áµáµ ð®ððð§ðŠŽðŸð§ ðð€à«®ê° ˶ËáË˶ê±áð®ð ðŠŽðŸð ð§ðððŠð¥ð®ð¹ð¶ð€ð§·ð¥£ððŠŽðð¥ð¥ð¢ð§ ð¢ðð©žððŒðŸð§ââïžâ°ïžð¹ð®ð·ïžð€ðð³ðªð¶ð«ððð¥ðŠŽðð¥£ðªŠðððð§ ðžð¥©ð¥ðžð§ð¡ððŸâê°â
â¢Ì¥ ê³ â¢Ì¥ â
ê± Â·Â° à ð® ᶻ ð ð° áµáµ ââ§ËÊðÉËâ§ïœ¡â ð®ðŠŽÊðÉðððŸð®ððŸ. ⢠ðð°ðŸ ⢠.
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ââ
WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!â
â Ëââ§ê°á â à»ê± â§âË
àšà§im strawberry-chan <3 this is my cute and sweet blog for everyone!!
âabout meâ à»ê°àŸàœ²ÂŽ Ë ` ê±àŸàœ²á
ê°ð§ê± i like cute stuff,sanrio,plushies,2000s. â§âËâ©åœ¡anime,bugs,kitties,breakcore,d4dj and more stuff (à¹>â¡<à¹) âËÊ á¢âË⧠ïŸ.
ê°ðŸê± i use she/her pronouns âã(ããâ)! also i speak both english and spanish â(ãÏ·)v
ê°ð®ê± i will post : Ë àŒ âïœ¡Ë â§ Ë àŒ âË
ð€safe stimboards (âžâžáŽï¹áŽâžâž) ᶻ ð ð°
ð§Œmood boards ê°àŠá¢.ˬ.á¢à»ê±. Ëâºâ§âËâ¡Ëââ§âºË
ðrandom gifs/pics (*â§âœâŠ)
ðprofile pictures/carrd resources *ପê°â
â¢áŽâ¢ïœ¡ê±à»à©*
ê°ð¥£ê±DNI if :
âbasic dni criteria (*áŽÍˬáŽÍ)ê€*.ïŸ (r4cist,hom0phobic,ped0file,z0ofile,etc)
â
pr0shippers/c0mshippers
ânsfw blog/g0re blog â Ëâàš ÊÉ à§â Ëâ
â
hate speech blog
âl0licons/sh0tacons
âïžmy blog is a place for anyone to enjoy cute stuff,i dont want anything disgusting in it,if you ignore my dni and still interact,you will be blocked ïŒŒïŒ `â³ÂŽïŒŒ ïŒ
thank u so much for reading,i hope you enjoy my blog <3 if u have any requests or just want to say hi,dont be afraid ê°âÉ̶̷̎ ·̮ É̶̷̎âê±!!
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Snoozabelleð€ .𧞠à¹à£ âðᶻ ð ð° ๠࣠â.
â ð®ðâ¯â¯ð ð¹ðâ¯ð¶ðð â
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Sleepy Time with Little Apple
Have you been having trouble sleeping? I have :c itâs not a nice feeling⊠but I found some ways that have helped me, and maybe they can help you, too! guide below! à»ê°àŸàœ²áµ áµ áµ ê±àŸàœ²à§§
â® â Ëïœ¡ðŠ¹ â°⩠(âžâžáŽï¹áŽâžâž) ᶻ ð ð° â® â Ëïœ¡ðŠ¹ â°â©
𧌠Time to clean up! ð§Œ
This doesnât just apply to toys! Take a shower or bath, use baby wipes, or even just wash your hands â whatever you can do to help you feel cleaner, take a few minutes to do it. Youâll feel much better!
𫧠Brush your teeth! ð«§
This is super important if you drink juice, or other sweet drinks! Brushing your teeth helps prevent cavities and other yucky things, but it can be hard to brush if youâre feeling sleepy, sad, sick, or any other reason. Mouth wash is a good option!
ð§Have a drink! ð§
Since itâs sleepy time, you can have warm milk, tea (make sure itâs decaf!), or just regular water. I always have a bottle of water next to my bed! If youâre gonna have milk or juice, you could do it before you brush!
â€ïžâ𩹠Take your medicine! â€ïžâð©¹
Do you have a nighttime medicine? Are you feeling icky? Make sure to take care of yourself, and take any medicine you might need ð€.
ðš Do something calm! ðš
Coloring, reading a bedtime story, playing with a quiet toy⊠whatever makes you calm and helps you wind down is important to do. Itâll put you in a good headspace for sleeping!
âïž Tuck into bed! âïž
Crawl under your cozy blankies and turn off the big lights. If you donât like the dark, you can add a nightlight, some twinkle lights â even a little projector to cast stars on the roof!
ð€ Extras ð€
ð§ I like to listen to soothing white noise, rain sounds, and soft instrumental lullabies. You can find lots of pretty online to fit your needs ð©µ
ð€ If youâre like me, a paci helps me fall asleep. Make sure to have the right size!
𧞠Do you have a stuffie you love? Maybe a blankie? I love cuddling with my blankie and stuffies to fall asleep.
I hope this helps you with your sleepy time routines. Goodnight!
â©(*áŽÍˬáŽÍ)ê€*.ïŸ- ð
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intro post ðŸ ᶻ ð ð°
m name is ramu.. m a guy and i love my future bf a lot à«®âŽ˶⢠. ⢠â
âá im a minor under 16 ð¥ using blr as m virtual diary for stuff abt m master n regressing.. there also might just be fun things! audhd n bpd.. im irl yan ( rdms )
i am proship ð this blog isnt about that but i am àš â¡ à§ i also age regress and pet regress.. little age is 8-10.. ð
if you a want a kid friendly time on my blog ð° then please block my yandere tag because there might be triggering content (â¡ËÍ ê³ ËÍ)
tags ð ᶻ ð ð°
#ð® â ramu ramble
#𥩠â ramu yandere
#ðŠŽ â ramu puppy
#ð€ â ramu repost
#ðŒ â ramu kiddo
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you're all i have left ⯠ft. childe
angst bcs idk what else to do w my life
pt. O1 : pt. O2
the fatui harbingers lead dangerous lives, including childe. with his newborn son, it's getting harder and harder to keep everyone safe. and as much as it pains him he might just have to leave. and so he did, but as his time comes to a close, he just wants to see his lover one more time.
notes : part 2 because yall made me feel bad :,)
tags: @solarrclxud @childesbimbo @linnyta @ari-sheizou srry if unwanted i jst tagged everybody who commented on part one hjskfhdjg
1 year and 40 days. That's how long it's been since you'd last seen Ajax. And yet, every night you'd miss the warmth of him and how comforting his embrace felt.
Your son is now 3 years old.
Youâve raised your son all by yourself. Every night you tell him about his father and how wonderful he is. You tell him of how much Ajax loves him, even if Ajax isnât there to do so himself.
Youâve struggled to pick up the pieces of a broken life in Ajaxâs absence. The first few months were spent waiting in agony to see if he returned, if heâd come home.
But as days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, you started to lose hope. And finally, one night, as a final piece of yourself drifted away, you accepted it. Ajax was gone. It would be difficult to move on, but you had a son who needed you more than ever with a fatherâs touch missing.
The air in the room is still. Only a light breeze makes its way through the window, and the curtains to sway in the wind. The moonlight glows through the window and paints the room in a dark glow
Your eyes are heavy with sleep, but your mind is awake and buzzing with memories of your husband. So many happy memories. So many moments. The laughter. The joy. The love.
A gentle knock at the door breaks the silence. Your eyes flutter as you come back to the present. As if your thoughts about Ajax summoned someone to the door.
It hurts. Every time someone knocks at the door, you don't know who it is. Your heart jumps to the thought of it being your husband returning, but it never is.
The knocking comes again. Someone is clearly desperate to have your attention.
You sit up in bed and rub your eyes, trying to wake up quickly and answer the door. Was your mind playing tricks on you in your sleep or is someone actually here?
You stand up and hurry to the door. Slowly, you put your hand around the handle and twist it.
Your heart jumps to your throat, and it beats so fast you can hear it against your ears. What if it really is Ajax?
Please be him.
You hear the knocking again. A gentle but persistent tap. Like a knock from⊠no, no it couldnât be. Not him. You know Ajax is gone. He had left.
âJust a sec!â You call out as you get out of bed. With a slight shake, you start to walk towards the door. Slowly. Like this moment is everything to you. As if youâre trying to delay the inevitable.
Slowly, you twist the door open. AndâŠ
Itâs him.
Itâs Ajax.
Ajax stands in the doorway, arms crossed, with a stoic and silent expression on his face. He looks the same, just like how you remembered him.
âDarling,â he says softly, âcome out. We need to talk.â
His words sound as emotionless as always but his gaze on you speaks volumes. You feel a mix of emotions. Happiness, relief, panic, but most of all⊠fear.
You canât feel anything, âAjax.â You can see your body tremble, but you donât feel it. Your vision goes blurry, presumably from how youâre tearing up.
He walks over, taking your hand in his.
âDarling, look at me.â His eyes meet yours. His expression is soft, worried, âWhy are you crying?â
The question makes you scoff.
âWhy am I crying?â Of all the questions he could ask, why does he choose that. You take a breath, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. Then, slowly, you look up at him, meeting his gaze for a moment⊠before looking away.
âItâs too much, Ajax. Itâs been too long.â
âIt has been too long, darling,â he says softly. âAnd Iâm sorryâŠâ
He pauses.
âDo you remember why I had to leave?â He asks calmly, a hint of regret in his tone.
His question makes you look back at him. Heâs watching you intently, waiting for a reply. Waiting for the answer youâre afraid to giveâŠ
"I remember." you mumble. Your gaze never leaves his face, its has been too long.
Ajax swallows hard. He already knows your answer but he wants to hear it.
He wants to know the pain you went through. He wants to feel guilty. He wants to beg. He wants his heart to break all over again. He wants the chance to make it up to you, however he can.
And he's going to make you say it.
âTell me,â he whispers, his voice breaking a little. He canât hide the desperation, the pain. âTell me why I had to leave.â
He sighs when you donât respond.
âDarling,â he says, âI never wanted to leave youâŠâ
Your heart breaks when you see the remorse in his eyes. The remorse for all the time heâs missed with you and your son. For all the moments he shouldnât have been away.
âButâŠâ
His words are followed by a silence. One that makes you feel the weight of the world sitting on your shoulders. You want to beg him to stay. You want him to stay even if it means he has to leave again.
âBut you know I had to.â
âAjax,â you whisper, âplease. â
"So do you understand?" He asks. He's not trying to be cruel, but you can hear the fear in his voice. The fear that you'll reject him, kick him out, or something worse.
"Darling, please, just answer me. Do you understand why I had to leave?"
You can see the desperation in his eyes and for the first time, you understand what he's trying to tell you. The fear he's experiencing. The dread. It's like he's reliving that day one year ago when he had to leave you.
"I understand Ajax."
You look at him and, archons, how youâve missed him.
Ajax smiles at me and lets out a strained laugh, "Darling, I've gotten weaker. I had a feeling that..." He trails off and when you look back at him there are tears in his eyes.
He tries to stifle his tears. He's not usually so open with his emotions but after all you've been through, he doesn't want to hide from you anymore. He looks at you with pure, unfiltered love. And you can't hold back any more.
You move towards him, closing the distance between you two. You hug him tight, burying your head in his chest and letting out a soft sob. Ajax holds you back the same way, his breath shuddering with each exhale. You lean back and just look at each other, both of you filled with joy and relief... and fear.
"I think this might be the last time we'll be able to see eachother." Ajax whispers, "I just- you know what my job comes with. I've gotten weaker, this delusion, it's draining me.."
Tears stream down his face.
"Don't say that," you whisper in response. He's so weak. So much weaker than you remember him. The months of isolation seem to have taken a toll on him.
The thought of losing him again fills your chest, you're practically overflowing with dread.
"Don't do this to me, Ajax," you whisper again. "You're my life. I would be happy to end mine just to be with you forever."
You're half joking of course, but with the way your heart aches for him... you're not so sure how much of it was kidding after all.
Ajax kisses your forehead, looking at you with tears in his eyes. "Darling-" he starts. Before he can finish his sentence, you stop him by placing your finger on his lips.
"No," you say softly, "I don't want to hear what you have to say. I'm not losing you. I lost half of myself when you left. If I lose you again, I'll lose all of myself."
Your voice isn't soft anymore. It's hard and resolute, "I'm keeping you this time, Ajax."
© kainyte do not repost, copy, edit or translate
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left ⯠ft. scaramouche
fluff, wee bit of angst if u squint
it was just a small misunderstanding, and yet kunikuzushi is left in tears.
notes : first post on this blog
kunikuzushi knew you like the back of his hand. he knew what all your little faces meant, from small pouts to the twitch of an eyebrow. so he knew you were upset
with him tonight, yet he never thought you'd react with this.
kunikuzushi was asleep, his body curled under the covers. the blanket was tucked under his chin and over his shoulders. unconsciously, his pale hands reached towards you, yearning for your sweet warmth. yet he couldn't find you.
his eyes shot open, franticly searching for you. usually, you could be found asleep, beside him. but not tonight. your side of the bed had been left empty, the sheets messy and wrinkled. kunikuzushi remembered slipping into bed with you; you'd curled up snugly against his chest right after laying down.
where are you? he scrambles off the bed, almost tripping over the hem of his pants in the process. "[name]," he calls out softly, "a-are you there?" no response. panic was beginning to stir, a sick feeling sitting in the pit of his gut.
"[name]?!" he called again, a little louder this time. still, no response. tears begin to well in the corners of his stark blue eyes. kunikuzushi's mind is spiralling. what if they left? did I do something wrong? he stumbles, searching behind doors and under beds.
kunikuzushi collapses onto the shared bed once more, "[n-name]" he whispers, tears freely streaming down his cheeks, "please don't leave me..."
"I would never leave you, kuni." you bring your hands to his face, gently cupping his tear-stained cheeks, "I love you, kuni." he sniffles burying his head into your chest. his arms reach around you, trapping you in his hug. you stroke his hair gently, trying to cal him down.
"I thought you'd left me," kunikuzushi sniffles, "w-where were you?" he looks up at you with teary eyes, a small pout adorning his lips. "thought you'd left me..." he mumbles again.
"I was thirsty," you respond, "so I went downstairs to get some water." you let your hands trail from his face to his shoulders, gently resting your hands on them. "I'm sorry if i worried you."
"I-" kunikuzushi whispers, "no, it's fine. 'm just glad you're here." his arms tighten around you, "can we go back to bed, please..."
you press a kiss to his hairline, closing your eyes and leaning into him, "of course, darling." he leans off you and grabs your hand, slowly leading you towards the shared bed.
you push the blankets to the side, giving space for your lover to lie. you lay beside him, letting his arms wrap around you once more. "I love you, kuni," you mumble.
kunikuzushi rests his forehead against yours, letting you gaze into his stark blue eyes. he smiles.
"I love you too. [name]."
© kainyte do not repost, copy, edit or translate
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I hate how I can't send asks through my other account ugh!!!!1
i love this theme by da way
WAIT WHY CAN'T U SEND JELP???>?>?>?<?><
also ues orv theme theyre so mentally ill it's insane.......................,
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im gona bite u
nom nom fr
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growls at you
hey pookie wookie sorry for dying on uâŠ
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ð€ ì¬ë / kaito or kai â
16y.o. ; she/he/they ! hispanic&filo â SFW
ð€ . . . masterlist !
left ⯠ft. scaramouche fluff,
wee bit of angst if u squint
you're all i have left ⯠ft. childe
1245 words of jst angst uhm la dee da
you're all i have left pt. O2 ⯠ft. childe
part two bcs yall got me feelin bad... dhshj
love no more ⯠ft. scaramouche
angsty angst; rewrite fr old blog :3
© kainyte do not repost, copy, edit or translate
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