#''Stop telling me you're lonely. [Family name]s are supposed to move out into the middle of buttfuck nowhere in the deep woods --

[crystalkleure]

Very Strong sneaking suspicion that I might have AVPD

[amindofstone]

A pirates treasure

a/n: I am in love with a broken character. I am in love with a man that has “death” tattooed on his fingers. I am in love with a freaking 2D character that has the name “Surgeon of death”. Call me crazy but hey, the owner of a heart was never able to choose in who it falls in love. Yeah, to put it short I am in love with a character that barely has any romantic, lovely or sweet traits but still gets me screaming at 2 am whenever he appears. I am in love with Trafalgar D. Water Law.

a/n edited: My attention was drawn to a huge mistake of mine. I really don't want to justify my mistake and just delete it as if nothing happened. So therefore I'll do a quick explanation.

As you can see I used the picture above as a "cover" for my imagine without making any researches about the artist of the amazing work. I got the picture send by a friend with the request if I could use it and so I did without thinking twice. I should have done my job properly by finding the artist and asking for permission but I didn't and simply neglected that. And I'm truly and really sorry for that and genuinely apologise from the bottom of my heart. I hope I'll be forgiven. The picture used was that of the artist @666deaddash999 that has a blog here on tumblr and definitely should be seen. And again my apologies. 

a/n edited pt. 3.: I am in f***ing tears. I don´t deserve this much kindness. This artist, the dear @666deaddash999​ , is truely an angel. I really am garteful for being allowed to use it. Like damn they even liked my fic!!! I am in tears and emotional AF!! Anyways have a nice day and thank you for reading my work!

Genre: anime imagine? One Piece imagine?

Character(s): Trafalgar D. Water Law x Rose (reader)

Warnings: Maybe grammar or spelling mistakes. (I genuinely apologize. English is not my mother tongue and I´m really trying to improve. So please be so kind and have mercy)

Words: 4257

Info: Keep in mind that the words in italic are Rose (reader) train of thoughts.

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. This took me a lot of time. So please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture used is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner. !!!

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"Are you insane?! Can you hear what you're saying right now?! No! Do you know what you're saying right now?!", asked the now furious woman. "She lost her mind Marcus. Your daughter lost her brain on the way back home!!", the woman with the probably most expensive tiara on her head was running around the salon while making sure her husband understood her point in their daughters failure. "For the sake of sanity Marcus say something!!! Won't you?!", the woman yelled at her husband who was sitting on his chair in front of the chimney. “I regret the day I gave birth to you? I regret those nine months I carried you. I did not give birth to you so you can end up like this! This is not what we taught you!”. The king was clearly overwhelmed by the whole situation that had to happen two weeks before the king and his spouse from the neighboring island would come. Right at the moment in which he and his wife decided to make their daughter marry their son. The king who usually was always in a good mood and had a smile on his lips was now the total opposite. He was sad and felt lost. He didn't know how to cope with the situation his wife; or rather life confronted him with.

With a hand covering half of his face and closed eyes he focused on his breathing and just let his spouse calm down first before he spoke what was on his mind. He kept telling himself to breathe in and breath out when the queen’s next words made him stand up and leave the room.

"You traitor! How dare you sit there like you're the victim, you disgrace! You disgusting piece of shit! Where did you leave you honor and pride?! In the bed of that scum?!", the words of the mad woman made the young royal look up for the first time she entered the salon. The princess, the third daughter of one of the most powerful kingdoms, was in tears. A hand covering her mouth with the hope to keep her screams of pain inside she just let the tears stream down her face. “Look what you did you cheap piece of shit. I am disappointed in you. No wonder I never was fond of you and your existence. You are absolutely not capable of anything in this world. And Marcus calls something like you his beloved daughter. Get out and get back to your chambers. I don´t want to see you out of your quarter before the royal family whose son you´ll be marrying will come. You heard me! And I dare you to start another tantrum about the marriage or else I make you regret existing.”, Rose nodded and left the salon without a word.

On her way back to her quarter her brother, the crown prince, saw her and wanted to stop her and ask what their mother said, but she didn´t let him touch her or talk to her. He wanted to hold her and comfort her since he knew how their mother can hurt one with her words but she didn´t let him come closer. She silently left him behind and ran to her save place so she could cry out loud with the hope of getting rid of the pain in her chest. She cried and cried until her maid came with her dinner. The maid tried her best to make the young princess stop crying and eat something but she couldn´t make it. When the food she brought her got cold she tried to at least make her calm down but to no avail. Before the sad maid left the princess alone she took the food she brought her and asked her with pleading eyes if she could do anything for her. The maid thought that she won´t answer her while still shedding tears when the princess who was sitting on her bed looked her in the eye for the first time since she entered her chambers. The maid gave her a genuine and friendly smile while telling her that she´ll do anything for her. But the words of the princess made her stop smiling while the little spark of hope died down. “Kill me and put this miserable life of mine to an end.”, the maid did not know what to say so she left her chambers with a soft apology and a deep bow.

Silence.

Suffocating silence took over her chambers after a while when no sound of her could be heard anymore. Her throat was sore from the hurt screams that left her. Screams she tried to suppress with a pillow or her hand. Screams she held in for weeks. If her throat wouldn´t be hurting by now and if she had just a bit more energy she would be screaming more. She would be screaming from the top of her lungs while trying to get rid of the pain in her chest that seems to be clinching onto her for dear life. Her heart was aching. Her soul was helplessly trying to understand what was happening right now while her brain stopped functioning. She was lifeless. She looked like a corpse sitting on a bed. She didn´t move an inch or dared to breathe aloud. When someone would have entered her chambers they would have thought a doll was sitting on the massive bed and not the princess. The princess the whole kingdom loved for her genuine smile and friendliness. A princess that was loved by ever person that saw her because of the kindness she holds in her heart and eyes.

The princess. A young lady whose beauty was known all over the world. Whose kindness anyone knew and mentioned. A young royal with a genuine heart, a heart as pure as that of an angel. A young royal in the age of 19 that was able to make any person walk over broken glass if they could make her smile. But what happened to her? A young lady who used to walk around the kingdom with a smile upon her lips and a childlike playfulness. What happened to the girl that used to be the happiness of any person in the palest and the kingdom?

Rose, never thought that the day would come she needed to be told how beautiful life can be. She never thought that the day would come where her siblings and maids would have to come and tell her that life is full of love and happiness 

Isn´t it funny how fast a person can change? How fast the happiness of a person can be taken away from them. Isn´t it funny how something that is supposed to be good can break a person and ruin their whole life? How can something that she was always told about as the most beautiful and powerful thing on earth break her and be the cause of her pain. Why does it carry so much pain and tears when it´s supposed to be the reason a human lives? This doesn´t seem logical to her. It seems like all the things she was told were lies. Lies and lies told one after another. Why did they lie to me?

Rose was freezing. The dress she was wearing at the moment was obviously not able to keep her warm anymore. She needed to change. She needed to take a bath. But she had neither energy nor motivation to do anything so she kept sitting there while looking out of her huge window. Her window was wide open and let the fresh but cold wind of the spring night enter her save place. Her curtains were waving more and more due to the slowly stronger getting wind. Just when she thought that she calmed down a bit, she suddenly started to remember the words of her mother. Words that were sharper than any knife or sword. Words that cut her heart into pieces. Disgrace, she said. Disappointment, she said. She regrets giving me live, she said. And again tears fell down her cheeks. Tears filled by pure hate towards herself. She hated herself. She hated her body and wanted to die. The couple that used to shower her with love now hated her. Slowly more tears started to stream down her face while she tried to muffle down her soft sobs by putting a hand over her mouth. The cold wind that entered her chambers through her open window and door to her terrace stopped by now only to be replaced by rain. It seems like the sky was the only one that understood her pain and cried with her out of empathy. Day, weeks and now months passed and a forbidden longing accompanied her through her lonely days filled with regret. I wish I never went to the harbor with my maid. I wish I could erase that day from my life and memories.

When she thought that the pain she felt couldn´t get worse a person called her name with so much love it hurt her. She was confused and scared at the same time. With panic written all over her face she looked around her chambers only to be greeted by a tall man who entered her bedroom through her terrace. Slow steps were made as if he knew that she´d be overwhelmed by his sudden presence. She couldn´t see his face but knew that he was looking straight into her eyes. Just when he was about to enter her bedroom he stopped at the door of her terrace and allowed her to hear his voice. A voice that was able to get her weak and lose balance and fall on her knees. But luckily she was now sitting on her bed in the same position since a few hours now. “May I enter?”

A soft whine erupted her sore throat, while her heart started to race. As if she ran from one side of the island to the other. She couldn´t believe her eyes. She wanted to scream his name and jump in his arms. She wanted to kiss his face, hands and shower him with all the love she felt for him but she didn´t move but gave him a small nod that allowed him to enter. Am I imagining this?

His hat he seemed to love so much and that turned into his signature got recognized by the heartbroken princess next to his sword that accompanied him through every fight and battle. But his clothes changed into something she thought he would never wear. It changed into something elegant but at the same time simple. A black long cloak was loosely hanging over his shoulder that was decorated at its collar with a thick pitch black fur. Under the cloak she could make out a white wide loose shirt that gave away a beautiful sight of his toned and tattooed chest. He looked like a sculpture that was awakened to life. She couldn´t believe what she was seeing. She was staring at his face, his hands, his slightly wetted clothes with the hope that her eyes were playing a stupid game with her heart. She couldn´t look away while all this time he was slowly coming closer to her and the bed she was sitting on. Just when she realized who was standing in her chambers she quickly tried her best to pull herself together and speak in a half decent steady voice but sadly to no avail. “Don´t come closer and get back to the place you came from.”

She tried. She tried her best to talk in a convincing and steady voice but she failed, miserably. Her trembling voice and body betrayed her. Her hands that were holding tight onto her sheets betrayed her. Her knuckles that turned white from the pressure she put on them betrayed her. But most of all it were her eyes and tears that betrayed her. Her whole body screamed to be touched by him. Her hands longed for his warmth. Her heart screamed to be consoled and her eyes gave away all of the love she had for him. She shouldn´t be able to cry anymore thinking about the whole day she only cried but unlike a few minutes ago she was now shedding tears of pure joy. “Are you sure that you want me to leave?”, the man in front of her asked her to not only convince himself that this is what she wanted but also to give her the chance to rethink her choice, but the black haired woman nodded what she instantly regretted.

Regret. What a simple word to use when it hold so much emotions and thoughts.

The moment she saw him make a step back and put a distance between him and her, a quiet pleading to not leave her left her lips that made him instantly drop his sword. The sudden sound of his falling weapon surprised her and made her look down to the place it fell. She wanted to ask if he was doing fine when the next move of the man that ruined her life shook her to death. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. He took of his hat and threw it somewhere she couldn´t make out only to get on her bed and connect their lips. She didn´t wanted him to kiss her. She didn´t wanted him this close but still grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. Rose´s hands were trembling while her tears still didn´t stop falling. It felt like a dream, a dream come true when she remembered her mother’s words and pushed him away from her.

Trafalgar D. Water Law.

What or who gave you the permission to enter my live and turn it upside down. The tears that were falling down her cheeks were that of pure happiness to have him in front of her but slowly with her mother´s words coming back to her mind they slowly turned into tears of pain and fear. Law wanted more. He wanted to kiss her more and hold her. He wanted her all to himself. He took her hands, that were still holding onto his shirt, in his and kissed each and every finger of her one by one. “She´ll kill you.”, she said with a quivering voice with the hope to make him understand in what kind of situation they were but he didn´t care at all. “She said she´ll execute you in front our nation.”, but still the pirate didn´t care. In fact he intertwined their hands and started to kiss her all over her face. “She called you so many names and said that she´ll kill any person you are close to right after she killed you. Law are you listening.”, she kept telling him what her mother the queen said but her lover didn´t seem to care. But to make clear that he indeed was listening to her he nodded and hummed in her ear before he made his way to her neck. But before he could place his lips on her skin again she said something what made him stop in his tracks. “I´m getting engaged in two weeks and married next month.”, just when she thought that he´ll get made and push her away she heard a soft chuckle before he laid her down and get back to kissing her while making sure to leave marks here and there. She felt pathetic. She felt horrible. She felt like agreeing to her mother’s words that she is not worth being a royal or a princess. “Law, don´t you understand in what situation I am right now? I feel like I´m a joke to y….”.

“Am I a joke to you? Are my feelings a joke to you?”, Law stopped her midsentence just to leave her with a question that made her rethink all the thoughts she had in the last weeks. But she had no time to think because the man on top of her stood up and left her bed. Panic overcame her and she started to breath quickly. “Please don´t leave me. I beg you Law. I don´t know what to do without you. Please!”

If the princess could see the man’s face at this moment she would have seen his genuine smile of pure happiness and relief. “Who said I wanted to leave you?”, said the tall man and made his way towards her door just to lock it. No matter where he went Rose followed all of his steps around her chambers. He closed the window and the door to her terrace while also making sure to close the curtains. If her maid did not came to light the candelas on her nightstand it would have been pitch black and she wouldn´t be able to see what the pirate who sneaked into the palace would do right now. He took of his shoes and placed them neatly next to the armchair in front of her chimney. Slow and carefully he took of his slightly wet cloak and put it over the backrest to dry. While she wondered if he wasn´t cold with what he was wearing she realized a bit too late that he took his shirt off and went to light up some other candelas in her room while giving her a full display of his tattoos. How on earth could someone as beautiful as him fall for me? What happened that made him love me to an extend he came all the way to the palace to me? Do I deserve this much love? Rose was looking down to her hands that lay on her lap when she felt the bed shift. She didn´t dare to look him in the eyes. She felt cheap and used. How can I marry a man that I don´t love? How can I get married while fully knowing that I gave away the most precious thing I had to a pirate that told me he loved me? I am being the naive and stupid woman my mother called me. “Do you regret losing you virginity to me?”, the sudden question of the criminal she fell in love with surprised her and made her look up to him with widen eyes. “Do you regret letting me be your first kiss? Do you regret letting me lay in your arms?”, Law took her hands back in his to intertwine them again. An act he does without realizing it by now. He was used to place her hand in is. He wanted it and needed it. He wanted to feel her and her warmth. He needed a reassurance that she really was sitting in front of him. He needed something that made clear to him that he wasn´t dreaming and really was beside her and not in his or the strawhats ship sleeping.

“Do you want to marry him? Are you fine with your parents marring you off to someone you don´t love neither know?”, the princess was overwhelmed not only by his question but also by his eyes which were filled by sadness. His grey eyes that usually had something playful and fierce in it. His eyes that used to always soften whenever the landed on her who was his lover, his woman, his absolute everything. The princess placed her hands on his face and caressed his cheeks. If only she knew what that little gesture did to him. If only she knew how much control she had over him. If only. “Trafalgar Law. I gave you everything I had. I let you be my first love and my first lover. I let you be my first kiss and my first time not for you to ask me if I regretted it. Law I love you. Although my miserable live won´t allow me to be with you I can assure you that I would throw everything away only to be with you.”, Laws eyes were closed. He couldn’t think properly anymore. His heart was racing. His mind was an absolute mess. He wanted her close to him. He wanted to feel her. He needed her so he sat her down on his lap and leaned back. With his head resting on the headboard of her bed and the royal lady on top of him he tried to calm his heart down and make it stop racing. “If I wouldn´t be a doctor I would have thought I was about to die whenever I had you near me.”, the young princess looked at him with concern in her eyes. “At that time I couldn´t understand why my heart was racing or why I felt like I was getting crushed. There was always this feeling of something or someone putting a huge amount of pressure on my chest whenever I thought about you. And whenever I had you close to me I felt like I was drowning and losing all my powers. But now I know that it´s alright to feel like this because this is how it´s supposed to be. Because today I know that it´s because I love you.”, Law was not someone that spoke out loud about his feelings. He wasn´t the type of person who shared his thoughts but when he did he was able to blow any person away. The words of her lover made her heart race while guilt over came her. “Stop. Please stop.”, begged Rose while hiding her face in the crock of his neck. She knew that she was hurting him by telling him to stop. She knew that she wasn´t supposed to react like this but what could she do, she was promised to a prince of a neighbor island. She shouldn´t be kissing him or hugging him. She shouldn´t be laying in his arms while he told her how much she meant to him. She should be sending him away like a worthy daughter and princess should do.

“Do you want me to leave. If so than just tell me and I will leave you alone tonight. I really don´t have a problem with that. I can´t bear seeing you sad, my love. I will come tomorrow. Would you like that?”, hearing his words made her look up and see his face to make sure he wasn´t playing with her but no, he was serious. He was smiling down to her while caressing her cheek. The look he gave her broke her heart. She knew he loved her. No matter how many times she told herself that she meant nothing to him her heart told her different. “This is not how it works, Law! You are such a fool. You idiot! I just told you that I´m promised to a prince and here you are telling me that you will come tomorrow if I don´t feel well. What is wrong with you?”, tears were falling down her cheeks. Thinking about the amount of tears she just shed today makes one wonder how she is still possible to cry more. Rose hit him a few times on his chest before she left his lap and sat down next to him. She couldn´t bear being this close to him so she tried putting some distance between him and her when Law laid her down and hovered above her.

“Tell me what is wrong with you? Do you really think I let your parents take you away from me? Do you really think I let some random bastard marry my woman? I am a pirate Rose. If I want something I get it and when I have it I won´t give it back. Do you understand?”, Law spoke in a soft tone but one full of power and determination. Rose didn´t know what to say so she simply kept quiet and kept listening to him. “You are mine. My treasure. My property, You are mine all alone and I don´t share what is mine. And if anyone is so foolish to try to take what is mine I won´t hesitate to cut off their heart.”, the dreaded pirate spoke in his calm but deep voice and made the woman underneath him stare at him without daring to move an inch. “Now tell me do you really thing I let you get married to anyone that is not me?”, Rose was numb. She was awestruck and speechless so Law took the matter in his own hands and took her face in his hands and shook her head in a playful manner. He knew that his words took her by surprise what could he do? It was her guilt that he was head over heel in love with her. “No, my darling. I won´t let go of you. Just wait a few more days and wait for me. I have a little plan to get you out of her.”, the last words the pirate spoke made her widen her eyes. Law indeed loved the effect he had on her. The princess wanted to say something but the pirate didn´t allow her to speak up. He placed a short kiss on her lips before he slowly started to unbutten her dress. “Law?!”

“You can´t imagine how much I missed you. Please allow me to show you how much you mean to me, my dear. Hold me and show me that your presence is not a dream. Please allow me to love you.”

[chanlixformysoul]

Sounds easy, right? [ Chanlix ]

rating: mature

word count: 2217

chapter: 1

next chapter: 2

summary:

➥ Felix was sent to kill Chan but he got hurt and now Chan is nursing Felix back to health, they might also fall in love on the way.

song recommendation:

estimated reading time: 17.1 minutes

ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Felix would sneak his way in, kill Chan and get his goddamn money.

But oh boy he was in for a ride. The 'Big Boss' as people would call him wasn't that big nor great at all, he was just the co-CEO of the company, one position away from being the big CEO. His brother, Chan's dad, died besides his mother 7 years ago in a car accident , leaving Chan as CEO of the company. The Big Boss used Felix whenever he wanted to, but he never put Felix in a position like this before, to kill a person. He knew that if he disobeyed the Big Boss he would get beaten up and tortured, plus he would never get the money promised back and the fact that he was a cat hybrid didn't help either. The Big Boss told Felix to kill Chan, he would sneak in his house and get rid of him because he needed to not because he wanted to.

Sounds easy, right?

Well it actually isn't, not when Felix tripped because the welcome mat at the entrance was crooked sending his head into the door with a loud thump sound. As he tried to get away fast he lost his balance and was sent once again flying down the big and grand staircase. The door immediately opened, revealing a distressed looking man, shirt halfway undone and one shoe off. Felix knew Chan rushed outside because of the noise that he made but he couldn't help but admire his figure.

'Hey buddy, care to explain?' Chan said as he crossed his arms one over another raising his eyebrows.

'I umm... actually.... sorry, I gotta go.' But little did he know that falling down a huge staircase can do this much. Pain started to shoot from his ankles to his ribs and back. The big impact with the door sure left it's mark as he felt blood dripping from his blonde locks to his eyebrows. He pulled himself from the ground, trying to not make a fool out of himself more than he actually did earlier, wincing and shooting silent cuss words at himself for being so goddamn stupid.

Before he could walk down the street, he wanted to run but he weighed his options and he knew that if he started running it was only a matter of two steps before he came crashing to the ground once again.

He was about to do his second step but suddenly a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

'What the heck happened to you?'

'Oh... as I said I have to go, sorry.'

'You're not going anywhere, not with that head of yours.'

Felix couldn't believe what just happened, he screwed up the mission. He could say goodbye to this month's rent, goodbye to any decent meal he would allow himself to buy with the money check. Maybe if Big Boss would have some mercy he could leave him and not kill him, maybe he would understand, but deep down Felix knew he was gonna be tortured again by the thoughts of affording to even live when he opens his eyes every morning.

He couldn't stop trembling and his legs started shaking with fear of being killed by Big Boss because of his failed mission. Before he knew it he started crying, like full on sobbing and at last collapsed to the ground leaving a distressed Chan picking him up and urgently calling his doctor to come see the boy.

Chan was confused, really confused. This boy, he wanted to do something, right? But at the same time he couldn't help but feel a little weird because of the younger one. He had such a pretty face, rosy cheeks accompanied by constellations of freckles, lips that looked like petals of the rarest and finest flower you could find on earth. Chan found himself admiring the boy after the doctor left. As the doctor said it there weren't such serious issues but it wasn't something little either. The paper entitled prescription was long and let's say not even close to Felix's budget.

Chan kept a washing cloth by his side all the time, slowly stroking the youngest arms and forehead. He placed Felix on his bed justifying his actions in his head saying 'the couch is too small'. As he was making his way to the kitchen,Chan saw a little head that popped up in his bed. He made sure to bring the glass of water and the pills that the doctor prescribed. Felix woke up, and by that he knew he had officially fucked up real hard.

He tried to escape the blanket, kicking it off of him but the pain started once again as well. His ribs, back, legs, head and ankles hurt like hell. As he cleared his vision he saw Chan... he was done for sure.

'Hi there, I see that you woke up. Don't worry just stay in bed and take these. Oh and the bill for the medication, I took care of it.' He simply said smiling while placing the pills and water down on the nightstand.

Felix immediately came to his senses when Chan sat besides him on the bed. He tried to get off the bed but he was once again stopped but this time not only by the immense pain, but by strong arms.

'Where are you going?'

'To my house? I didn't ask for your kindness you know? You could've just let me be on the ground. It would've been better that way for the both of us trust me.' Felix said with no emotion in his voice.

'Hey, you can go to your home once you will recover, I'm not letting you out like this especially at this hour.' That made Felix turn his head for the nearest thing that indicated time only to read it as 11:34 pm. Fucking great isn't it. He knew the busses wouldn't be out that late and he knew that from this wealthy neighbourhood to his small apartment was an immense distance that he couldn't travel by foot.

'At least tell me your name, mines Chan.'

'Felix...'

'That's a cute name, Felix.' Chan said while trying to get the younger one to look at him in the eyes. He was getting closer and closer until he saw that Felix was crying once again.

'Hey what's wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?'

'I failed, I'm gonna be left in the streets again, I'm so sorry. Please let me go, please. I'm a bad person, you don't want me here.' Felix continued sobbing, putting his hands to cover up his face and turning his head so Chan couldn't look at him.

'No you're not a bad person, Felix. If you want you can stay here with me, I'm always lonely, I rarely go out because of my work. I'm either at work or at home. You can stay with me for as long as you want to, I won't force you, just come here...' Chan says looking at Felix with gentleness in his eyes before climbing over the mattress to hug the youngest little frame.

'It's okay, Lix, I'm here you don't need to worry'

'Why are you being nice to me? I was supposed to do a bad thing to you.' He says sniffing and letting more tears fall down.

'Felix, I like you, that's why I'm being nice to you, I want you to stay with me, please tell me what's wrong' Chan said, voice trembling, not knowing what to do.

'Please don't hit me or do something, your uncle s-send me to kill you, I didn't want to but he would torture me if I didn't and I wouldn't get the money, I need the money so I can live, I'm sorry ' Felix sobbed harder than before as he looked at Chan. Chan shifted, Felix immediately twitched expecting a slap and then to be beaten up and thrown away just like Big Boss's men do with him all the time, Felix was shaking so much he fell out the bed into the hard and expensive wood flooring. His back started hurting more but that didn't matter he started to run to the door. Chan was quick and caught him pulling him to his chest.

'Did uncle really say that?'

Felix couldn't even look in Chan's eyes as he nodded. Tears trailed down his cheeks again.

'I'm sorry, I'm going to leave you. I don't have the money for the medication but I will give it to you, I promise just please don't hurt me. I swear I will disappear and you don't have to see me again, I promise...' Felix cried into his hands, his knees starting to give in so he dropped to the floor. He winced in pain as he made contact with the floor. He felt exhausted but he would go to his apartment, he had to.

Chan quickly went down to Felix picking him up while whispering that he's not mad at him and that he is just a little shocked. Felix was still saying that he didn't need to be carried, he just wanted to go home but Chan insisted that he will have to stay here till his pain is gone. Felix being exhausted physically and emotionally he agreed. Chan carried Felix to his bed placing him gently on it.

'Let's sleep for now, we will talk tomorrow,ok?'

'It's ok' said Felix going down on the floor again, this time intentionally. Chan just watched the younger not understanding what he was doing.

'Good night.' Said Felix as he laid on the cold flooring, feeling his back and ribs ache.

'Felix I-' Chan was cut off by Felix.

'Oh sorry, I will go in the living room'

'No, don't do that. I was just wondering what you were doing on the floor?'

'Trying to sleep?' He said looking confused as well.

'Felix, come here' Chan said as he patted the space next to him.

'I know we've just met a few hours ago but please stay with me, I beg you'

'I don't know, Chan, I have nothing to offer you, I have no family, no friends, no money, I'm also a cat hybrid. I'm practically useless, better off dead.' He said as he slowly got on the bed, staying on the edge so he could occupy less space than he needed to.

'Don't say that, come closer, I want to hug you if that's ok'

Felix didn't say anything he just got closer to the older. Raising his head to look at Chan, he found the older's eyes comforting, this time Felix hugged Chan burying his face in Chan's chest and collarbone. Chan let out a chuckle, Felix feeling the vibration through his chest.

'So what's your answer?'

'If I'm not a bother, I want to stay.'

'That's perfect then, can we sleep like this? I want to cuddle you while sleeping.' Felix turned red feeling his ears burning.

'O-ok then' Chan only nodded in agreement, setting them down. Felix didn't know what to do so he just stayed still not even daring to look at Chan.

'Do you not want to cuddle?' Asked Chan as he propped his head up a little.

'I never did it before, I don't know what to do...' he looked down in embarrassment.

'Really? That's okay. Do you want to face me or not?'

'I want to see your face'

'Okay then, sweetheart, come closer'

Felix could only smile at the sudden nickname clinging to the older, as he snuggled into him.

'I'm sorry for everything'

'You didn't do anything, bub, it's all ok now, we are together and that's what matters in the end.'

'Aren't you mad at me? I got you in so much trouble...I feel bad, i didn't want to accept the task, but I didn't have another choice, they would torture me and beat me and then throw me out like a dog... I didn't want that to happen again, I'm sorry Chan, I really am...' Felix said looking up at Chan, putting a hand gently on Chan's cheek.

Chan put his hand above Felix's hand noticing how tiny it was.

'Don't worry, it's none of your fault, you were the victim and as soon as you get better we will go and confront uncle.'

'No, please don't do that, please. You will get in trouble for me and he will come for you. I don't want to lose you' Felix started tearing up again but now Chan was here for him. Chan held him closer whispering that everything is okay.

'Don't worry Felix, uncle will be punished for everything he has done to you. I can't believe he will actually do that to someone, how cruel can one be?'

'Thank you, Chan, for helping me and letting me stay with you.'

'Felix, no need to worry, okay? You're here with me from now on. Let's sleep, it's gotten late.'

'Thank you, Channie.....' Felix mumbled cutely as he drifted into the land of dreams but this time his dreams weren't nightmares this time, his dreams were full of Chan's face, laugh, touch.....he was feeling happy. Was he allowed to feel that way?

᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚

my ao3: Mrs_SnowPitch

my wattpad: ChanlixForMySoul

my masterlist: iza’s masterlist

[p3kchan]

Summary: Taishiro toyomitsu grew up with his best friend (f / n) (l / n) with the same dream of becoming heroes, they fall in love and end up confessing their feelings, They continue with their relationship until the last year in Shiketsu where a (f / n) Something serious happens to her and he leaves the city for years, and then returns with the same feelings in his heart, waiting to be reciprocated again.

Clarification:

(F/n)= First name

(L/n)= Last name

English is not my first language, let me know if you see any errors in the text

Enjoy ! Happy weekend

♤ IN THIS PART ♤

Chapter 1: When I meet you.

How Taishirou and (f / n) met, kind of like a prologue, I was going to make it longer, but I decided it wasn't necessary for an introduction

[22 years ago] 5/10/ XXXX | 22:23 p.m

External narrator

-------------------------------------♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

- But mom! Why do we have to go? I do not want! Mom! No!

The anguish on the face of (f / n) mother's face, Lisa, was the only thing she could express right now, she had to understand it, she thought.

- (F / n) we have talked about this a long time ago, you have to accept it, we have to move to Japan, and I have already told you that it is not my choice!

- Mom!

splah

She had finally reached her limit of patience and hit her daughter in a desperate attempt to keep her calm, but only fear and shock were reflected in (f / n).

- Mom? .. what's going on? | (F / n) sister Kirai finally made her presence known after hearing the heartbreaking sound of the blow. Lisa just looked in horror at (f / n) who was whimpering on the ground.

---------------------------------------------------

Later that night Kirai sneaked up to (f / n) 's room in order to comfort her poor sister. She knew what was behind it.

- (f / n)… I know this is difficult, but we, no, our family is different, and ah born in a different place, we have to go back to Japan where they will stop persecuting us.

- I was happy here, I don't care about people.

- You will understand (f / n) we have to be strong

Finally, Kirai gives her sister a big hug, waiting for her to calm down for the next morning, the day of the flight, a goodbye to the place that although with difficulties she was able to call home, and make friends.

----------------------------------------------------

[Osaka] 18:45 p.m

The cold morning wind whips the pale face of (f / n); a large house of black wood and marble loomed over her, this was to be her new home, and that of her family.

- Well, well, we can start to take our things out of the packaging, who wants to help papa girls? Lucario says trying to raise the spirits of the girls.

(F / n) remained silent, still, and powerless behind her sister, Kirai does not want to sit idly by, raises her voice and pulls (f / n) from behind her back

- We ,dad!

- You don't understand right Kirai, what are we doing here? We promised to stay in America, become heroes and fix the world, stop running away, we just run away! I'm not going to do it! Judging her last word (f / n) she shoots out without looking back, in the background the worried words of Kirai, Lisa and Lucario are heard, but (f / n) she did not want to listen.

Exhausted after crying (f / n), she managed to reach a park that seemed lonely enough to drown her sorrows.

- Po-por-r-que-e! Because ah had to * sniff * be like that * snif * Heroes don't run away, save! I promised myself! How can I be a hero like this? * sniff * damn, heroes don't cry ...

- It's true little girl! Heroes don't cry! You are weak!

A group of 3 children got together and made a chorus around the poor heartbroken girl, all three wore the same clothes and were identical, he supposed they were spoiled triplets.

- I don't care what you tell me! Get out of here, you don't care what happens to me!

- And why would we care? (The middle boy spoke) We are going to be heroes, the best, so you better shut up making the idea filthy girl, we can't leave weak scum in our way, (I'm talking about the left) Yes! You filthy girl! We won't let you get in the way!

Despite the shock of (f / n) she still had her feet on the ground, and was not afraid of any of the children, she was born with a natural sense of justice and she was not going to back down.

- Do you really think that you are going to be heroes with that attitude? You only give pity to those who see you, a hero must protect and console civilians not try to frighten them, people like that disgust me a lot, you are worse than slag-!

* Shas * It was the second injury of (f / n) in the week, one of the children ended up exhausting his patience and attacked (f / n) with a quirk of blades.

- You will regret it damn! How dare you talk to us like that !? You will find out who we really are! * CLASH *

(F / n had a lot of courage, but his quirk was still very unstable and he did not know how to use it, he did not know what to do against the blades that were approaching his small body at a frightening speed.

- Watch out! | Something had gotten in the middle of (f / n) before the blades dragged his body.

- What-?!

- You're good? An amber-eyed blond boy had saved (f / n) she was stunned, the boy turned his head to (f / n) with a strong smile looking for answers, What (f / n) couldn't believe was that the blades had sunk into his plump body.

- Hey! Toyomitsu! Don't you dare get into this, that girl has a very long tongue!

- No matter what Kota said, I will not let you hurt her!

- Then ... you will go with her! Withdrawing the blade, and the three of them pounced on the boy who called himself "Toyomitsu"

The 4 traded blows, but by the advantage of Toyomitsu units it was starting to hurt. He no longer seemed to react well to blows.

- (What am I doing? This kid is risking his life to save me and I'm just standing here! MOVE! YOU'RE GOING TO BE A HERO! YOU HAVE TO BE A HERO! PROTECT!)

| Unable to bear the impotence any longer, (f / n) 's eyes now turned gray, forming a kind of mist.

- But- but what? Because I feel so heavy, huh! Wait ! Your!

- Thanks girl! If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have been able to win this, | (f / n) did not know how or when, but Toyomitsu had become completely skinny and a light although not very large dwarf from his fist.

* Splashhh *

The energy blow had set the children back considerably, they had minor injuries all over their bodies, they were all in their last years.

- Kai, Kota! Let's go from here! They are nuts!

Finally the triplets ended up leaving the park by legs, leaving an exhausted Toyomitsu and a stunned (f / n). Finally he turned and repeated.

- You're good? | He still had that contagious smile on his bruised face.

- I- I .. why did you save me?

- Eh? That! That ..that's it, * because that's what heroes do * | As if all the wires in the brain of (f / n) had been connected, he began to cry uncontrollably, remembering what his goal in life was.

- Hey! Do not Cry! It's okay! I'm fine! I always deal with those three, (He offered her his hand) I'll take you to my house so that my mother can heal us.

(F / n) I finally stop crying | Eh eh? She looked at him still shocked by the situation.

- Come on, I can't call myself my hero if I can't help a pretty girl like you, | As if he had just realized what he said, he immediately became nervous and began to ramble on how to get to his house, or how Mrs. Toyomitsu was going to look when she saw him.

- It's okay. | (f / n) He had the prettiest smile Toyomitsu had ever seen, immediately the blood started running down the young man's face, |

- Come on, it's going to get late… | He turned his back to hide his blush but still indicated that he should continue extending his hand towards her.

- (f / n) (l / n), call me (f / n) | With this he finally took her hand and they set out on a gentle path home.

-------------------------------♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Let me know what you think in the comments!

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

No one's POV

"Squad leader (Y/N)! The scouts are back! They retook wall Maria!", (Y/N) was woken by Diana's excited yelling. She barged into Levi's room, mud all over her shoes. (Y/N) woke up with a jolt and noticed it. "Levi will be pissed..." she thought but she didn't say anything to Diana. This wasn't the time for it. She knew that she had to see if Levi and Erwin returned safely or not. "Diana, saddle my horse. Fast" (Y/N) commanded Diana as she went to the bathroom to change out of her nightgown. She didn't take long to change and when she was done, she immediately ran for the stable, her heart fluttering with joy. They are back. They are successful. They are one step ahead for humanity's victory.

When (Y/N) reached the stable, Diana was done saddling the horse and (Y/N) immediately got on it and galloped for the walls. The fluttering feeling in her heart turned into an uncomfortable clench when she reached the wall. An elevator with nine people was coming down. An elevator can hold about twenty people. "Was that all the people who survived?" she thought, the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach increasing. The lift seemed to come down for eternity. "Are they dead?" (Y/N)'s mind whispered to herself. She had no idea what she would do without Levi. Without Erwin, her only family left. When the lift came down finally, (Y/N) felt like her heart stopped. At the front was Hanji, her eye bandaged. Behind her was Levi. (Y/N)'s eyes widened at the sight.

"No... This isn't happening..." her mind shouted. Levi noticed her on her horse and bowed his head. "He didn't protect Erwin..." (Y/N)'s mind whispered at her. Out of instinct, (Y/N) turned her horse and galloped towards the Survey corps headquarter, not stopping even when Levi shouted, "(Y/N)! Wait!" loudly.

(Y/N) went straight into Levi's office. She needed to know how Erwin died. She needed to know if Levi tried his best to save him. After what seemed like a lifetime later, Levi entered his office to find (Y/N) sitting on one of the chairs in front of his desk. "How did it happen?" (Y/N) asked him in a quiet voice. Her face scared Levi. It was what he saw the day he first met (Y/N). Emotionless and cold. There were no tears in (Y/N)'s eyes. She almost looked like she was tired, like she was bored. Levi didn't know how to explain everything to her. He was never too good at explaining anyway.

With a sigh, he said, "Both Erwin and Armin were seriously injured. I had to use the titan serum on one of them and I decided that it was time for Erwin to rest.". "So, you killed him..." (Y/N) stated, her voice showing...nothing. No anger, no regret, no sadness. Her voice was like of a dead person, void of any human emotion. "(Y/N), I had good reason to..." Levi tried to explain but (Y/N) held her hand up, signalling him to stop. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say." she said before walking towards the door. "Don't try to follow me. I don't want to see your face again." she told him, not bothering to look at him before walking out of the office.

(Y/N) felt numb. Memories of Erwin and Levi making promises shot through her mind. "How many times will I lose everything dear to me?" she thought. To her, life seemed more meaningless than ever. She walked towards her office. Yes, she had her own office but she preferred to work with Levi. She felt lonely doing all the work alone. Ironically, loneliness was all she had now. She took a pen and paper and wrote a letter.

"Ms Hanji Zoe

Commander

Survey corps

Subject: Resignation letter

Dear Hanji,

Please accept this letter as my formal resignation from the position as squad leader of the Survey corps, effective from whenever you get the letter.

I appreciate the opportunity of growth and development you have provided me.

Sincerely,

(Y/N) (L/N)"

This was it. She knew she had to run from this life. Being in the Survey corps meant she had to witness the death of loved ones again. She had to face Levi again. (Y/N) walked towards Erwin's office. "I will never see him sitting in there again" her mind whispered to her. She opened the door to find an empty room. "Hanji didn't move in yet.." she assumed. Memories of when she was chosen as squad leader, when she asked him to walk the aisle with her on her wedding passed her mind. The wedding would never happen now. She remembered the ring in her finger. "Should I leave it with the letter?" she thought, not being able to make up her mind. At the end she decided to keep it.

As a symbol of her old memories of a Levi she knew she loved. (Y/N) placed the letter on the desk and went out of the office, out of the headquarters. She didn't take her horse or her possessions, she didn't have the time to. She walked towards the place where she made the decision of joining the Survey corps. To the orphanage.

(Y/N) POV

I knocked on the door of the orphanage and the matron opened the door. Seemed like the news of Uncle Erwin's death spreaded like wild fire since the first thing the matron did was hug me and say, "Oh (Y/N) dear! I'm so sorry...". "Ms Winkler (the matron's name), can I stay here for a few days? Till I get my own house?" I asked her calmly. "Your own house? Aren't you getting married soon?" she asked me, confused. "I'm afraid the wedding won't take place. After what he did..." I sighed. "My dear, I don't know what the captain did but you rejecting him means it must be something horrid. You're welcome to stay here for as long as you want. I'm getting old, so a bit of help is always welcomed." Ms Winkler smiled as she took me in.

Ms Winkler showed me my room a while back. I sat on the bed, trying to remain calm but I felt restless. The depth of the situation was finally hitting me. Uncle Erwin is dead. I left Levi. I left the Survey corps. I have absolutely nothing left to live for. I felt emotionally unstable. I felt all energy from my body being drained. "I can't take this anymore. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts..." my mind was screaming.

I walked to the bathroom. Conveniently, there was a blade there. I had to cut myself. Drown my sorrows by causing external pain. Just before the blade touched my skin, I remembered that I wasn't alone. I still had my child. "I'm sorry honey... I completely forgot about you... I'm so sorry I almost hurt you..." I whispered to my stomach, which bulged a bit now. I caressed it a bit as I sat on the bathroom floor, whispering sorry as tears streamed down my face. I have to take on all the pain the world throws at me. I have to make sure my child gets a happy life.

A week later

"(Y/N), you need to eat properly... You're eating like a mouse, dear... Both the baby and you needs the food..." Ms Winkler tried to convince me to eat. I honestly tried my best to eat as much as I can but I had no appetite. After the happenings of last week, nothing felt good. I slept for two days, eating a few bites of bread whenever Ms Winkler got it to me. She was worried about my and my child's health and even if I was grateful that she was making the effort, I just couldn't eat. My sleep schedule was all over the place too as my nightmares came back.

It's been a while since I've been having nightmares every night. Being with Levi helped but now... There's nothing I could do about it. I've been helping Ms Winkler with her household duties, looking after the other kids, and keeping myself as busy as possible to forget the events of last week. Hanji didn't send me an approval of the resignation letter yet and I thought about going to the Survey corps headquarter to make sure if she got the letter or not but later decided against it as there was a chance of running into Levi there.

I still didn't know why he decided to let Erwin die but I decided that it's best if I don't know as the truth on it might only be more hurtful. I rented a house last day too, where I was supposed to move in to next week. The owner, a lovely old lady, was really understanding of my situation. I was peeling some potatoes in the kitchen when Ms Winkler came into the kitchen and told me, "(Y/N), someone is here to see you."

Levi POV

It had been a week since (Y/N) left. I understood why she did it. What I did was unforgivable. However, I couldn't keep any regrets, right? My sleep schedule had been shit for the last week, the insomnia returned, as well as the nightmares. All I did everyday was bury myself with paperwork, clean any place with a speck of dirt and drink to some extent at night. My good alcohol tolerance didn't help at all. At least that kept my mind off things... Apparantly everyone was surprised when I cleaned the stable by myself two days back. I couldn't blame them because I made cadets do things like that since I became a squad leader. I was working on paperwork when Hanji entered the room.

"What do you want shitty glasses" I asked in a stoic expression, not looking up from the paperwork. "Oi, I'm the commander now. At least give some respect..." Hanji teased, trying to make me talk. She had been doing these for a while as I haven't talked to anyone much since last week. There just was too much on my mind and the amount of paperwork was intense. "It's been a week since she gave that resignation letter. What are you planning to do about it?" Hanji asked me. Yes, she wanted to leave the Survey corps. Because of me. It was all over wasn't it? "Aren't you in charge of writing the approval letter?" I asked, restricting any emotions in my voice.

"Levi, stop acting like you don’t feel anything. Before her commander, I'm her friend and I know that you want her to be happy as much as I do. You need to go and explain why you made that shitty decision. At least try to get her back." Hanji told me, her voice sounding angry. "I tried to tell her. She didn't want to listen" I answered. Hanji looked at me like I am horse shit.

"You went up to her and told her that you made the decision to kill Erwin. It's obvious that she wouldn't want to listen to you. And you stopped trying because of that one time? I honestly had better expectations from you, Levi." she told me, getting angrier. "What am I supposed to tell her? That I don't regret making that decision? You think she will like hearing that?" I asked Hanji, frustrated. She was right, I should've tried harder, but, how?

"But you do regret it don't you? Even if it probably was necessary according to you?" Hanji asked, in a soft tone. "I'm not supposed to regret it... Erwin said.." I was interjected by Hanji, who simply said, "Erwin regretted not being able to see what's in the basement, didn't he? Thus you had to make the decision for him and he had to die. Sure, the downfall was big but it caused one of our biggest victories didn't it? We know so much now... I suppose, regretting might give some good results too, doesn't it?" she explained. I was silent. She was right. I regretted my decision.

However, it had to be done. I had to explain everything to (Y/N) and leave the decision to her. "Levi, let's not delay things more. I got news that (Y/N) is staying at an orphanage nearby. Let's go together and convince her to talk to you. As a friend, I want her happy and as a commander, she is a huge asset to the survey corps, given that now we only have 9 survivors from the last mission. I'll tell someone to saddle our horses." she told be before getting up and going out of my room. I didn't feel as nervous as I feel now when I proposed (Y/N)...

It took a while for me to arrange all the paperwork I was working on into neat piles before going to the stable. Hanji was already there, on her horse. Diana, (Y/N)'s second in command was standing there. She probably was the one to saddle the horses. "Commander Hanji, when will squad leader (Y/N) return from vacation?" I heard her asking Hanji. Yes, the survey corps members and other higher ups were told that (Y/N) was on vacation as she needed some time alone due to Erwin's death, and not to talk about it to the press. The only people who knew about the resignation letter were myself and Hanji. "Well, we are going to talk to her about that now." Hanji smiled at Diana, who saluted me as I arrived near them. I motioned her to be at ease as I got on my horse. With that, we galloped towards the orphanage she was in.

We reached there in a few minutes as it was pretty close. "I'll go inside and talk to (Y/N) first. I'll call you when I have convinced her to talk to you. I have a feeling that she will refuse to talk to you at first." Hanji explained. I nodded as a reply. It was depressing to think that (Y/N) would refuse to talk to me. I got down from my horse to find a few kids staring at me and the horses. "Oi brats, you know where the stable is?" I asked them. One of them, possibly the leader, a small brunette kid, walked up to me and said, "I'd tell you if you were nice to me." with a pout.

"Listen, brat, I am being nice. I'm not in much of a good mood now, so don't give me this bullshit. Where's the stable?" I asked the kid in my monotone voice. "Mhhm, I won't tell you unless you're nice." she pouted. "Kid, don't expect every single stranger to sweet talk to you." I sighed. Kids were annoying. "Well, Ms (L/N) was a stranger. She was nice to us." the girl told me. "She was? Well, Ms (L/N) is a nice person. I on the other hand am a piece of shit who made her sad." I sighed, my expression showing some sadness even if I tried to hide it. The girl looked at me for a moment before saying, "The stable is in the backyard. Follow me.".

I followed the girl, the group of kids followed me. "You're captain Levi right?" the girl asked. "Yes. I am." I answered, as I walked with the horses. "How did you make Ms (L/N) sad?" she asked me. "Well, as you know, the commander of the survey corps is dead right? I had a lot of things to do with it. The commander was Ms (L/N)'s uncle and... You know how that works." I explained. "So you're here to talk to her?" the girl asked.

"Yeah" I answered as I got the horses in the stable. "You know, she won't be happy if you keep using your potty mouth. If you're nice to her, she will listen." the girl advised. I was surprised that a 10 year old was advising me about how I should talk to (Y/N). However, she wasn't entirely wrong. I only had a chance if I calmly explained everything one by one. "You're right, kid." I answered as I closed the stable door. "Oi, what's your name?" I asked the girl. "Stella." she answered as Hanji came out. "I figured you'd be near the stable. (Y/N) agreed to talk. Let's go." she said. "Best of luck out there. You need it." Stella told me with a smile.

(Y/N) POV

"Hanji?" I was surprised to see her here. I honestly thought she will just send an approval letter. "(Y/N), we need to talk." she told me. "I'll give you two some privacy" Ms Winkler said before getting out of the room. "I expected you to send an approval letter..." I started but Hanji interjected. "(Y/N), both you and Levi are my best friends. I want both of you to be happy. What you two are doing right now isn't gonna make either of you happy." she went straight to business. "Hanji, I'm happy this way. I don't want him in my life." I told her.

"Don't try to trick me, (Y/N). You're as thin as a scarecrow. I could tell you can't eat properly. Don't be so selfish (Y/N). We both know that you're not happy. Do you think your child will be okay without any explanation of why you left his or her father? You can't deny your child of his or her father just because you are angry." Hanji told me. "There is an explanation, Hanji. He decided to let Uncle Erwin die. He chose some Cadet over Uncle Erwin." I was interjected again.

"(Y/N), you weren't there when it happened. I saw the whole thing and I don't blame him. I don't know what he was thinking but I witnessed everything. He was going to give Erwin the injection. He was almost killed by Mikasa in the process. Eren begged him like his life depended on it. He ignored every one of them. I saw from far away that he almost pushed the needle in Erwin's hand but then Erwin shot his hand up, away from the needle and said something to Levi. That's when Levi gave the injection to Armin. I think, it was something that Erwin said that changed Levi's mind. Trust me, he wanted to save Erwin but I don't think Erwin wanted to be saved. If anyone broke a promise, it was Erwin. Not Levi." Hanji explained to me what she saw.

Was I blaming Levi for nothing then? What did Uncle Erwin say to him? "Levi hasn't been sleeping for the last week and he honestly looks as old as his age now. I don't want any of you two to suffer. Please, at least talk to him about it. Let him explain." Hanji told me in a serious tone. "Okay. I will talk to him." I sighed. If Hanji is right, I probably am making a big mistake by leaving him. I just had to make sure. "Ah, great! I will get Levi here in a minute. He's right outside!" Hanji said happily before skipping outside. That crazy woman is always prepared...

After a long minute, Levi entered the room. Hanji wasn't kidding when she said that Levi looks older. He had eye bags and looked like he had a bad case of a hangover. How much has he been drinking? I've never seen him having a hangover... Even after all that, he still managed to look almost as good as usual. "So, explain" I told him as he sat on the chair beside me. We were sitting at the dining room. "I decided that I will tell you everything from the beginning. After that, you're free to make any decision that you see fit." Levi told me. He looked like a defeated man, like he lost everything dear to him. "Okay" I replied before he started.

"We were losing the battle. The beast titan was throwing boulders at us, cornering us. If we were to wait longer, everyone would've died. We were in the inner walls of wall Maria. My squad and Hanji's squad was in Shiganshina. The colossal titan was coming towards us from Shiganshina. Eren was unconscious on top of the wall. Everything spelt defeat. I proposed Erwin that I would sacrifice myself so that he and the others could ride Eren and escape. It was a botched up plan anyway. Erwin then told me that he had a plan which included him and every other soldier in the inner wall to charge at the beast titan, making themselves potential targets. They would shoot flares at the beast, distracting him and I would use the line of titans next to him to get to him.

Erwin wanted to see what's in the basement and to attend the wedding. He wasn't willing to make the decision. I, at that time, decided that humanity's victory is more important because I wanted you and our child safe. Even if you leave me for it. I made the decision for him and he told me to take care of you two. The plan was a success. I got the beast titan but I hoped that Erwin was alive. I didn't kill the beast titan so that Erwin could turn into a titan and eat him. I was wrong, and the cart titan took the beast titan and ran off. He commanded his titan army to kill me but I killed the titan army as fast as possible before following the beast.

I found him talking to Eren but he saw me and ran again. My gas was finished when I reached Eren. There, I found that Armin was almost burnt to death. He defeated the colossal titan earlier by sacrificing himself. Berthold was captured by Eren. Eren told me to use the serum on Armin. I hesitated because there still was a chance that Erwin might be alive and I was right. Erwin was badly injured and dying. I made the most obvious decision, which was to save Erwin. That's when Eren started begging. Mikasa shot at me with her sword when I hit Eren to get him out of the way. I just... Felt weak.

Who was I to choose that their best friend, a person who was almost like a brother to them, should die? Even after all that, I knew that I had to save Erwin because I promised you that I will keep him safe. Hanji came later and took Mikasa off me, explained them that it has to be Erwin. That's when Eren mentioned how Armin wanted to see the ocean. I realized that both Erwin and Armin had dreams that made them go on. I still decided to bring Erwin back to life. Just as I was about to push the needle in his hand, he shot his hand up and muttered with his dying breath, "Teacher... How'd y... find out that they don't exist?". I remembered something that Kenny said at that time. That everyone has to be drunk on something in order to live.

It matched with something Erwin told me earlier, that he wanted to die many times but it was the mystery of the basement that kept him alive. If he knew what was inside the basement, he probably wouldn't want to be alive like this anymore. And, that would be a loss for humanity nonetheless. Armin on the other hand had goals that was far from reach. I made the decision that felt would be best for humanity and the safety of you two. On the view point of a captain, I have no regrets, but, in a personal view point, I regret this decision and will continue to do so all my life." he explained.

For once, I think I understood why he did it. "Levi, I understand why you did it. I think I will forgive you too, but, give me some time. I need to think it all over, and convince my mind to forgive you. It really wasn't your fault but I lost someone dear to me. I just, need some space till we get married." I replied. "You... You won't leave me? We are still getting married?" Levi asked, his voice and face showing surprise. "Yes. I won't leave you and we will get married on the date we fixed. However, I want to stay alone till that day. I need to give myself the time to forgive you." I explained.

"(Y/N), thank you so much for reconsidering... I don't deserve to be forgiven. I'm sorry..." Levi muttered. "It's okay Levi. By the way, how much are you drinking?" I asked him. "Oh, just every night." he answered with a smile. "Don't drink that much. It's bad for you. You look older." I told him. "Okay. I wont." he told me, holding my hand. I didn't know what came upon me because I got up and hugged him. He was still sitting down, his head was on my chest. "I'm so sorry.." he muttered. "It's okay. We will be okay." I told him, caressing his hair. He hugged be back in a few moments and I knew that I would never regret this decision of not leaving him.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: (Y/N) WILL GET MARRIED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! Sorry, I might have mentioned in chapter 18 that (Y/N) will have her kid after 6-7 chapters but I decided to give the characters a bit more development before going into that. So, (Y/N) won't have her kid in a few more chapters.]

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder