#'maybe your friends will show up this time' FUCKKKKKKK

[gennyanydots]

Show me the way home, honey Ch. 12

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!reader soulamate!au

Show me the way home, masterlist

“Mmmmm morning,” Bradley says his voice sounding rougher than normal.

“Hi,” you say back. You wiggle a little bit and Bradley loosens his arms just slightly.

“What time is it?” He asks.

“I don’t know but it’s dark out,” you reply.

“It’s dark out? Fuckkkkkkk,” he groans.

“What’s that about?” You ask.

“We’re late,” he says quickly sitting up and pulling his phone out of his pocket and going through his texts. “Really late.”

“Late for what?”

“Dinner with my squad,” he says as he stands up and stretches then heads to the bathroom.

“What kind of dinner?” You ask as you get up and open your suitcase.

“Just like dinner at the bar we go to all the time,” he calls from the bathroom.

You start to look through your clothes and settle on a cute sundress your best friend packed you with some sandals and shut his bedroom door, “I’m changing!”

He comes out of the bathroom, “Aww man! I have to miss the show?”

“Play your cards right and maybe I’ll let you see later,” you say as you quickly change.

“Yesssssss!” Bradley says putting a fist in the air in triumph. “I’m holding you to that!”

You open the door, “I have no doubt that you will.”

Bradley turns and looks at you, “Woah.”

“Too much?” You ask.

“Too pretty maybe but not too much,” he says and pulls you into his arms. “I’m going to have to keep my arm around you all night so no other guy gets any ideas.”

“Nobody could steal me away from you, Brad Brad,” you say with a smile.

“I’d like to see them try,” he says and let’s go of you then grabs his keys, wallet, and phone from his nightstand. “You ready?”

You grab your purse and nod, “ Yep! Are we going to that place our friends mentioned earlier? The Hard Dick?”

“Hard Deck. It’s an aviator term. Hard Dick is what I woke up with,” he says suggestively and winks at you before grabbing your hand and heading to the door.

“Bradley Bradshaw!” You yell.

He snickers and pulls you out the front door then turns to lock it and leads you to the Bronco that he promptly unlocks and opens the passenger door for you, “You brought it up.”

“Because that’s what my friend said!” You climb in.

“And Phoenix corrected her and I corrected you and now we’re on our way,” he says and shuts you door and gets in the other side.

It doesn’t take long before you’re at the Hard Deck and Bradley parks. He once again opens your door for you and you hop out and hold your hand out for him to take.

He grins and shuts your door before grabbing your hand and leading you inside.

You’re met with quite a few shouts of, “Rooster!” as you walk through the door. You look around at the busy bar. There are cups hanging from the ceiling. A couple pool tables. Some dart boards. A bar. And lots of people. Bradley pulls you towards a pool table with some high top tables near it that a number of people are standing around.

“Hey guys. This is my soulmate, Y/N. Please be on your best behavior,” Bradley says half in true warning.

“Hey,” you say and give a little wave and everyone around you says hello back.

Bradley points to each person in turn and tells you their name, you already know there’s no way you’re going to be able to keep them all straight. You also know none of the names Bradley just told you are their real names. You make sure to remember which one is Bob however since you already knew of him and have at least texted him before. You wave at each person as Bradley introduces you.

“You sure that’s your soulmate, Bradshaw? Looks too pretty for you,” a tall light haired man says to Bradley.

Bradley’s arm wraps around your waist, “Oh I’m sure, Bagman. It’s okay to be jealous. I would be.”

You reach up and kiss his cheek then smile at him.

“Come on honey let get you a drink,” Bradley says pulling you towards the bar.

A woman bartender comes over catching Bradley’s eye, “Is this her Rooster?”

“Yeah, this is her Penny. Y/N meet Penny Benjamin,” Bradley tells you.

“Hi! It’s nice to meet you. Bradley’s told me about you,” you say to Penny.

“I would say I hope good things but I’m sure they were. Your Bradley is a good kid,” Penny says with a smile.

Bradley blushes, “Hey Penny do you know where Mav is?”

“No sweetheart I don’t. Sorry. He should turn up here soon though. What can I get you guys in the meantime?” Penny asks.

Bradley orders a beer and hands over his credit card for the tab and you order a Dirty Shirley. Penny quickly gets you both your drinks and you head back towards the pool table.

“So Bradshaw you gonna show off your pool skills for your girl tonight?“ a man with a similar mustache asks Bradley.

“Why? You in the mood to lose, Payback?” Bradley challenges.

The man ,Payback, chuckles and hands Bradley a pool stick. You awkwardly take a few steps back not wanting to be in the way. You look behind you seeing a high top table with two chairs and you sit down in one. Out of the corner of your eye you watch someone come and sit down with you at the table. You look over and see Bob with a cup of peanuts.

“Hey! How was your trip here?” Bob asks you.

“It was good. Thanks for asking! It was a really early flight which kind of sucked but the plane ride itself wasn’t too bad,” you explain.

“Early flights when you’re not used to them definitely suck,” Bob says with a nod.

“Yeah, they do. I forgot to set an alarm so thankfully my friend came over early and woke me up. Speaking of have you seen her? Or Natasha?” You ask Bob.

“I haven’t. Umm I don’t know where they are,” Bob says looking around.

“Weird,” you say pulling out your phone. You swore your friend had texted you earlier asking where you and Bradley were. You quickly check and see that you were right so you text her asking her where she’s at and put your phone away.

“So did Bradley end up beating you up that one day after we got off the phone?” You ask Bob.

He chuckles, “He did not. I’m faster than he is.”

“Glad you got away,” You say with a giggle.

“It wasn’t too tough,” Bob said with a shrug, “Peanut?”

“No thank you,” you say.

“Soooo Y/N how much is Bradshaw paying you?” The one guy from earlier ,Bagman?, said as he walked towards you.

“Well that’s not very nice, Bagman,” you say raising an eyebrow.

“Name’s hangman,” Bagman says.

“No I think I like Bagman better,” you retort.

“Whatever,” Bagman says back with a shrug, “So how much is he paying you?”

“So like are you just an asshole for fun or did mommy not love you enough?” You ask him.

Bob chokes trying not to laugh and starts coughing.

Bagman glares at you, “Figure yourself out, Baby on Board.”

You giggle, “Is it your dick? Is it small? If it’s not mommy issues it’s probably that.”

“Bradshaw, get your girl in line!” Bagman yells.

Bradley walks over, “Naw, she seems to be handling this just fine.”

You smile at him and blow a kiss.

Bagman huffs and shoulder checks Bradley as he walks away.

Bradley chuckles and walks over to you and put his arm around the back of your chair, “Honey, it seems you’ve beaten Hangman.”

“Oh is that actually his name? I thought he was kidding,” you say with a laugh.

Bradley kisses the side of your head, “Do you need another drink?”

“Yes please!”

“I’ll be right back, babe,” he says handing his pool stick to Bob and heads towards the bar.

“You know I haven’t known Rooster for long but since you two found each other he’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him,” Bob tells you honestly.

“Thank you for telling me. That’s really sweet,” you say with a smile. “I’m really happy we found each other.”

Rooster brings you your drink and takes the pool stick from Bob, “You watchin me winning, baby?”

“I sure am,” you say with a giggle.

He kisses your cheek and heads back over to the pool table.

You smile as you watch him and hear giggling behind you. You turn and see your best friend and Natasha walking towards you both blushing and giggling. You look over at Bob questioningly and he shrugs.

When they get to you your friend comes and sits on your lap, “Hi babes!”

You laugh, “Well hello there! What’s got you all excited?”

“I dunnnoooooo,” she says with a giggle.

“Okay then”, you say with a laugh.

She reaches over for your drink and you smack her hand.

“Uhh no. This is mine. You’re already too giggly for this,” you say taking it before she can and downing it.

“Not fair!” She says with a pout.

“I’m sure,” you say sticking your tongue out.

Natasha holds out her hand, “C’mon babe. I’ll get you a drink.”

Your best friend happily hops off your lap and grabs Natasha’s hand and they go off to the bar together.

“Babe?” Bob asks.

“Beats me,” you say with a shrug.

A little while later an older guy with dark hair brings you a drink and you look at him funny, “Umm thank you but…”

“Penny told me you needed another and that I needed to come meet you,” the man says.

“Hey Mav,” Bob says.

“Oh! You’re Maverick!” You say.

“I am. And you’re Y/N my nephew’s soulmate,” Mav says.

“I am. It’s nice to meet you,” you say.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he says with a grin. “Bradley’s been a gentleman, right?”

You nod, “The sweetest.”

“Good. I’d hate to kick his ass in front of you but I would do it if I needed to,” Maverick says with a chuckle.

“I appreciate it. That’s very sweet of you,” you say with a smile.

Bradley walks over when he notices Maverick has arrived, “I see you two have met.”

You nod, “Yep just now.”

Maverick nods, “I was just telling her that if you weren’t being the perfect gentleman that I would have to kick your ass.”

Bradley laughs, “If I was being an asshole I would let you.” He walks over and puts his arm around the back of your chair again. “I was just about to ask if you need a drink but I see you’ve already got that covered.”

“Penny sent Maverick over with one,” you explain.

Bradley smiles, “Penny is the best.”

Maverick chuckles and points at Bradley, “Hey now. Back off. You got your own.”

Bradley laughs, “I’m more than happy with what I’ve got.” He pulls you into his side slightly and kisses the top of your head.

You smile and nuzzle into him.

“Shots!” Your best friend yells as she walks back over with Natasha each holding a tray of shots.

You laugh, “I’m not sure about that.”

She smiles, “We’re celebrating. And since we’re celebrating we’re all getting drunk.”

You shake your head, “But what about Disney tomorrow?”

“Disney tomorrow?” Bradley asks.

“Brad Brad we’re going to Disneyland tomorrow. Tonight we’re getting drunk,” Natasha says, handing Bradley two shots then handing you two shots.

“Jesus,” you say taking them from her.

Bradley raises an eyebrow and holds his two shots up. You giggle and tap your shots against his and down them.

“Ugh tequila? Really?” You ask.

Your best friend laughs and hands you two more, “Drink up.”

“Oh please no!” You groan.

“Oh please yes! We’re celebrating!” She says laughing.

“And what are we celebrating?” You ask.

“Finding our soulmates!” She smiles.

“What?!?!?!” You yell.

“Yeah! You found Brad Brad and I found Natasha,” she says wrapping an arm around Natasha’s waist.

“What?!” Bradley, you, and Bob yell together.

“I don’t know how much clearer we can say this,” Natasha says chuckling.

“You and me outside now,” you say, dragging your best friend outside.

When outside you turn to her, “When the fuck did you find this out?”

“Like two weeks ago,” she says shrugging.

“And you didn’t tell me?!?!” You yell.

“And miss you freaking out? Not a chance. Also, we swung by Bradley’s while you two were napping and grabbed my bag. I’m going to stay with Natasha. Also also I took the cutest pictures of you two sleeping together,” she pulls out her phone and starts to show you.

“Woah woah woah. Yes, they’re very cute, please send me them all. You hid this so I would freak out?” You asked.

“Exactly. Brad Brad and Bob are in there also freaking out probably so this was 100% for our amusement,” she said laughing. “Do you know how great it was seeing your face? Because I will remember that forever.”

You shake your head, “If this is what makes you happy. The making me freak out thing. But also she better make you happy or I’ll make Brad Brad kick her ass.”

She nods, “Fair deal. Ready to get drunk?”

You nod, “I guess. I’m not completely on board. I want to enjoy Disneyland.”

“We will! I promise,” she says pulling you back inside to the others. Once there she hands you two more shots and you roll your eyes and take them.

A couple hours later Bradley is carrying you inside his bungalow on his back.

“Weeee!” You say.

“Glad you’re having fun, honey,” he says laughing.

“So much fun, Brad Brad,” you giggle.

He unlocks the door and locks in behind him and heads for his bedroom and drops you nicely onto his bed, “Okay baby where are your pajamas?” He goes to your bag and unzips it.

“I don’t know,” you say pulling your shirt off.

He looks over, “Woah! Warn a guy.”

You grin, “Why? Don’t you wanna see?”

“Honey, there is nothing more that I would like to see ,however, nothing is going to happen when you’re drunk,” he says, finding what he thinks are pajamas.

“Fineeeeee,” you say with a huff and hold your hands out for your pajamas. “Turn around and I’ll change.”

“Oh so now that I won’t sleep with you tonight I don’t get to see?” He chuckles and hands you your pajamas and turns around.

“I mean have at it but you’re the one who will have an uncomfortable time falling asleep,” you say quickly changing then getting under the covers.

He turns around and pulls off his shirt and grabs a pair of comfy shorts and heads into the bathroom, “Baby girl, I’m going to have that problem regardless probably.”

“Nooooo come back I wanna look at you more. Now I’m going to have that problem!” You whine until he comes back out laughing. “Yay! You’re back!”

“I’m back but I’ll be right back,” he says heading to the kitchen.

“Nooooooooo,” you whine again.

He comes back in with a couple bottles of water and hands you one, “Drink it all.”

“If I drink it can I touch your stomach?”

“Yes, but only my stomach and only if you drink all of it.”

You quickly drink it all and make grabby hand at him.

He chuckles and slides into bed next to you and turns off the lights.

You run your hands over his stomach, “Are you even real?”

“I am very real,” he says laughing.

“You’re so pretty,” you say and snuggle into his chest.

“Thank you? I think you’re so pretty too, honey,” he says wrapping his arms around you. “Go to sleep, baby. We have a magical day to have tomorrow.” He looks down at you and you’re already asleep. He smiles and kisses your head and closes his eyes.

[twstwonderlandstuff]

Sleep depravity

You feel like shit.

Flashback

Ahaha, the new year! A time for fun and festivities! Surely, that’s what YOU’RE going to be doing, right?

Wrong.

Well, I mean right, but it’s not fun by what most of NRC calls as. So imagine this, right, you’re sitting in yo damn class doing your damn shit when suddenly, your classmate whispers to you from behind.

“Hey.” You nudge an elbow, to show that you’re listening. 

“You should watch ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’. It’s a really good series.” You nod in thanks at the recommendation and your classmate retreats back to his seat. 

And the day goes on as usual: Running around campus doing your part-time jobs, occasionally talking to your friends and seniors, feeding Grim, appreciating how fine everybody looks today- pardon me.

So now, it’s bedtime and you’re there listening to Grim talk as you do your homework. Then, he says: “Oh yeah, someone said something about a recommendation, right?”

“Right, I forgot about that.” You nod, finishing your homework in time. “We should check that out to watch for New Years. It’s in a few days.” You sigh, bouncing your leg. 

See, unlike from where you’re from, NRC has a different curriculum, where the OFFICIAL tests come out somewhere in the 3rd and 9th month of the year, not the 6th and the 12th, so this is just cooldown time for you to kind of chill and relax. 

“Right, holidays~~~ We don’t need to listen to Vargas anymore!” Grim hums cheerfully, and you nod. He’s already loud and super annoying every time he meets a slightly muscular kid, but add THAT with him rambling about safety protocols? Nah, man, ya can’t.

"Ah yes, the holidays where everyone goes home and leaves us here to wail and stay all alone with nobody- I mean I got you but you know- nobody and probably have to clean the school.” You take a deep breath. “Lovely.”

"That annoying guy is going to do something like that...” Grim complains, rolling over to flop on your stomach. “I don’t wanna!”

“Same...” You reply lazily, fist bumping Grim’s paw. “Hahah... hah...”

Despite your complaining, you feel a little giddy. I mean, come on, you get the FUCK around the school, all day by yourselves! What’s not to love about that? And the series is sure to keep you entertained.

Flashback end.

‘That was a terrible, terrible thing to think about.’ You thought blearily, thoughts swirling around your head as Grim falls asleep on you, *heetos and dorr*tos all over your body, making you feel sticky and gross. 

It’s now the actual new years, where everybody’s gone home and like you predicted, Crowley did assign you to tasks- fucking bird, so you and Grim’s ass didn’t do what he told you. Fucking hell, the school’s been functioning DAMN well without you, surely the tasks not THAT big of a deal, right?

After goofing around for a few days, you’re getting bored, so you drag your lazy self to Sam’s store (where his friends from the other side are tending it for him) and rent out a DVD- Crowley didn’t gift you a phone, unfortunately (but still fixed that old TV set??? Man’s got some weird priorities)

You bring this news to Grim, who immediately begs and whines for you to open and watch the show. So you did.

The first episode, you were intrigued, but only a little bit. The same went for the 2nd and 3rd episode. You’re about to call it a lame series when you hit... the 4th episode.

It was a wild ride of emotions and wow... that scene where Henry helps the king really brought you and Grim to tears. 

You were hooked. Or in other words, you were fucked. Fucked because now, you can’t THINK of anything BUT the series, which forces you to stay at home and watch the entire god-damn thing and now its 2 days after that.

At... you blearily open your eyes and notice the cracks of light shining through the curtain. “Oh god...” At somewhere around 8 am in the morning.

“Fucking hell... I’ve gone and fucked up my sleep schedule... shit...” And for some reason, tears began running down your eyes. What the fuck? Are you THAT tired that’d you’d cry over your SLEEP SCHEDULE?

Yes. Yes, you are.

You hear a knock at the door. “Oh my fucking god.” You curse, rolling down the uneven wooden floors, wincing as you get splinters. You lethargically stand up  and open the door and look up to see...

HEARTSLABYUL

Someone 5 cm taller then you- oh screw off, you’re 145 cm, its okay to be pissed, you know?

“Happy new year, prefect-” You interrupt him.

“Oh.. you’re cute!” You grin gleefully, pinching the red hair’s cheeks.

“U-unhand me at once!” The guy with red hair shouted, forcibly taking your hands away. “Or its off with your head!”

"What, you’re gonna- you’re gonna tie me up~?” You tease, punching the guy’s shoulder. “That’s kinky dude... like tone down the horny ya know...”

2 guys with red-orange hair and other with blue starts laughing loudly in the background and you laugh too.

The guy with red hair STARTS turning red- oh my fucking god, people can turn red?

“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” And a collar winds up around your neck.

“Eh????” You ask, lightly tugging at the collar. “What the fackin hell is this shit? Y’all really out here puttin’ collars and shit on people... in the middle of the day too... wow...”  You mutter, slipping into a country accent.

Flash! You hear a snap of a camera and turn to look at another person with a feather duster on his head- why does he have a feather duster- you know what, its cute, and you like it. You reach up and begin petting it, effectively blocking the phone he’s holding.

“Eto, prefect? You’re kinda- woah!” You look at him with a glazy eyes from those 2 days of non stop watching.

"Are you a...” You ponder, biting your lip as you blink repeatedly. “Are you... a fuck boy?”

(“CATER’S A FUCK- CATER’S F-FUCK- AHAHAHAHA-” Ace wheezes in the background as Deuce starts laughing harder, neither of them caring that they have collars on their first day back.)

Fuck boy has a bewildered look on his face, but before you could see his reaction, another hand goes to tug you back. You look up and... is that... is that lettuce, you see? No no way, it... it kinda looks like broccoli, though..

“Let’s get you to bed, prefect.” The broccoli tells you firmly, but like hell are you listening to a broccoli! Fuck man, you got higher standards then that, come on!

“No! I’m not listening to a broccoli!” You duck, effectively pulling out of his grasp and ran inside to wherever room you’re in and slam it shut. “YOU’RE NEVER GETTING ME, BROCCOLI MAN!!!”

(”Bro---brocoll-” This time, it’s Deuce’s time to collectively pound weakly at the dirt, one hand holding onto Ace’s shoulder as he looses it.)

Eventually, you slump on the ground and slowly... you don’t hear the brocolli’s voice anymore.. which is good (but like, why does his voice sound so... sexy??? Like, why??? It doesn’t make any... sense...)

---

Ace and Deuce finish from their laughing stock, having to hold on to the third years to get up from their position. “We’ll go check on the prefect.” Deuce tried to say, a snort or two making its way to the sentence.

“HAH- KINKY- KINKY FUCK BOY BROCCOLI--- AHAHAHAHAHA-” Ace was still loosing it as he walked inside, a tear streaking down his face. “I love the prefect so fucking much.”

Laughter bubbles up against Deuce’s throat as he walks in. “F...Fuck...boy...”

“W-where is the prefect, anyway?” They immediately see you, slumped against the hallway, snoozing away. With their strong powers, they gently lift and place you on the sofa, amidst all the gunk and shit that’s piled up.

“Ew, what were they even doing?” Ace cringes, looking at the mess. “It smells like shit.”

“They’re watching ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’- oh.” Deuce nods, in extreme understanding. He too, has pulled all-nighters with his gang to watch this series... oh how they cried like mad.

“Oh, that show... it’s bad. I don’t like it.”

“What?!” Deuce swiftly turns around. “But its really good!”

“No, it’s not, what? You got some poor taste, Juice.”

“It’s Deuce, not Juice! And you’re the one with poor taste!”

They bicker all the way, until they’re lovingly threatened by Riddle to NOT say a word, or its way more then off with your head, got it~?

SAVANACLAW

An extremely good-looking lion man- lion man, the fuck???- who lazily looks around at your dorm. Behind him is an EVEN better looking man, this one with a very fluffy tail and BEEG ears and BEEG body and my god, wow... he also sexy- like, sexier then lion man.

“Furry?” You mutter, your eyes falling onto another boy with animal-like ears and tail, except he’s shorter then the two, but his eyes seem to have more light in them.

“Happy New Year, prefect~!” He cheers on, his small tail wagging- oh that is cute oh my fuck- oh shit-

“...what the fuck? Why the fuck are there furries?” You gasp in alarm, running your hands through your hair in a frantic manner. “HAVE I MISSED A FUCKING GENERATION OF FURRIES?!”

“NONONONO NO NO NO THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY- NO-” You scream, falling onto the floor and grabbing a piece of your hair.

A shadow seems to loom over you, and you can feel something fluffy- or maybe that’s just you. “Prefect, are you okay- not like I’m worried, or anything, but...?” That line seems like something you’ve heard, but from where?

“Has the herbivore lost their mind?” Sexy lion man can be heard asking in the back, his voice quickly slipping into a yawn.

“Are ya worried, Leona?” The smaller guy teases, a ‘shi shi shi’ going past his lips.

“Tch.”

Well they seem like good friends- nice.

“I’m fine-” You look up and BAM WOAH WHAT IS THAT- SOMEONE’S PANTS AREA THING NOPE-

“I’M NOT FINE FUCKKKKKKK!” You scream back. The guy jumps back.

“Prefect, are you possessed?”

“By this stage? I might as well fucking be- HAH!” And you snort at that- it’s not even funny, you moron. “Oh, and also sexy lion man- yeah I’m talking to you, yeah you-” You point at said man. “I’m not a herbivore, okay? Like, I’m not a vegan (NO OFFENSE TO THE VEGANS OUT THERE), umm...” You slip into a dramatic accent where everything becomes more pronounced.

“I’m a fucking omnivore, and if you wanna like, insult me, please do it right. Thanks.” You pose, your hands making a heart shape, before slumping onto strong boy’s arms.

“Pfft- AHAHAHAH-” And Ruggie’s gone and lost his shit, because what’d you expect, right?

Leona looks surprised, before becoming very irritated, dragging Ruggie by the scruff/neck and walking away, leaving Jack to deal with you.

His seniors out of earshot and eyeshot, he glances at your sleeping form, which was nuzzling up to him, sighing in bliss as the warmth surrounds you.

He lets out a snicker despite his best efforts not too. Goodness, you surprise him every day.

He easily brings you inside with a princess carry, making sure to respectfully touch only your legs and you back to support you.

He glances at your sleeping form- what on earth were you doing that could keep you up so late, anyways? Oh, he finds out by passing through the living room, TV still on.

He finds your bedroom and lays you down there, not bothering to bring Grim inside- just kidding, he absolutely brings Grim in because he knows how much you love each other, but you didn’t hear that from me~

He glances at your form again and brushes some hair out of your face. The steady rise and fall of your chest eases him. Maybe he should stay here, just in case you wake up and act like THAT again and that’s something he’s sure a lot of people aren’t ready to witness.

He takes a chair and sits in front of you, once again having his eyes trained on you, seeing he has nowhere to look at.

A content smile passes your lips, and he smiles at that. What kind of dreams are you having, he wonders? (Little did he know its about him)

Wait.

If he’s waiting for you like this, isn’t that what you usually do for friends?! He stands up immediately, regretting his actions just as fast as he notices you squirm, sighing in relief as you settle back down onto your dazed state again.

“Happy New Year, prefect. Let’s make more memories together.” He mutters lowly, far too low for you to hear but somehow, you smile at just the right moment.

He leaves quickly, a red blush adorning his cheeks. No, that does NOT make him happy in the slightest! His tail isn’t wagging, his ears aren’t red, you’re lying!

Right?

Wrong.

Yeah, right.

Oh, god damn you and making him so confused!

OCTAVINELLE

An incredibly good-looking gent, with a smile on his face that doesn’t look as nice as it should. And look, he’s got a fedora! That speaks fancy~

“Happy New Year, pre-” You take the fedora and slap it onto your head, to the surprise and subsequent irritation of this man.

Or octopus. Honestly, they radiate the same vibe, so you wouldn’t know.

Then, you began doing the Orange Justice (cringe) as you hum- “Mhph, then you break it down! Down! Down! High! Down!”

“Is shrimpy-chan okay?” Oh what the fuck he’s so tall- THERE’S ANOTHER ONE YOU’RE SEEING THINGS-

“Oya oya.” HE HAS ARA-ARA ENERGY OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS- NONONONONO-

“Ara ara? Ara ara ara~ ara ARA!” You reply in kind, switching to a weird boogie as you sing offkey about a song.

“Under the sea~~~ under the sea~~ something, something, du do do do, under the sea~ under the grass, and till they fall~ ahhhh!!!” You grab the gent’s hands and drag him to you, paying very close attention to your feet as you attempt to tap dance.

The gent splutters indigation, so you leave him be and focus on your feet.

“Ne, that sounds fun!” The 1st double says, following you to dance- except he’s doing way better then you.

“Wha- how the fuck- that’s good! How the fackkkk... fuck... fucking... fucking fucking wop wop!” You giggle, trying to imitate his dance.

“Hehe, shrimpy’s funny when they’re tired!” Double 1 says, grabbing your waist as you shout in fright.

“Jade, maybe we should-”

“Let them be, Azul.”

Upon closer inspection, you realize that this ‘Jade’ has resonating vibes with Sebastian from Black Butler- wait, is this the twin cliche?! Where there’s the crazy one and the other’s the sane one?! But then again, he has that scary smile on his face... hmm, maybe that theory should be left alone.

You, still Double 1′s arms, shout: “Come on butler man! Join us!!!”

“Butler... are you referring to me?” He sounds surprised.

“Yeee! Come on dude,let’s vibeeee-” You stop mumbling and began singing again. “Oh oh, I’m a rebel just for kicks now! OWAH!!!”

“Owah~~” Double 1 joins, and Jade with a grin, joins in. “Owah~”

“...owah...” The gent also joins, albeit in a softer tone.

“What else, shrimp- eh??? They’re asleep!” Floyd pouts as he gazes at your non-moving body. “No fun.”

“Oya, maybe we should bring them back to their couch. It looks like a nice place to be.” Jade remarks, looking at the pile of chips and snacks on the floor. Floyd shruges, dropping you with a thud, but you don’t seem to wake up. Jade picks you up for Floyd and brings you to the couch.

Azul cringes at the sight of messy chips. “It’s giving me heartburn just looking at it.”

“Don’t lie, Azul. We saw you eating the same thing yesterday~” Floyd teases, a wide grin placate on his face.

“...I could’ve sworn nobody saw me! How...” Azul mumbles to himself, a red flush on his face.

“They’re asleep. We should leave them be.” Jade suggests, walking back to the group.

Azul nods. “There’s nothing I can make a deal about, anyway. And, the benevolent sea witch wouldn’t agree with that, wouldn’t she?”

"Yeah! Goodnight, shrimpy!” Still, you don’t reply, but Floyd looks happy enough since he hoists Azul up from his stand and walks out with him, princess style.

“F-floyd, put me down!”

“Nah, Jade looked really happy holding Shrimpy, so I’ll do the same to you~”

“Floyd!”

Jade walks behind them, watching as they have their fun.

Did I really look that happy? He glances back at your living room and gives a rare, sincere smile to the dimly lit room.

“Goodnight, prefect. I hope to get along with you better.” He whispers to himself, before closing the door gently behind and catching up to his brother.

SCARABIA

Sunshine??? in the form of a... homo sapient???? and a snake??? why the fuck-???

“Happy New Year, prefect! I brought you some food, a few blankets and oh!” The sunshine greets, giving you things, which you don’t have the strength to take, but nod as thanks anyways. He hands you a carpet, incredibly soft, 100% quality. “A carpet- eh, prefect?! Are you okay?!” The sunshine fusses, grabbing your cheeks in worry.

You melt, easing into the touch. “I’m okay now.” You lazily reply, giving him a slow wink. “Haha, get it? Cause- cause you’re here, and you’re the sun, and you’re cute, so like... haha? No?” You don’t let him reply as you sigh and nod, taking his hands of your cheeks. “Alright.”

The sunshine grins at your attempt. “I don’t really know what you mean, but thanks!” Oh my god he’s so cute-

“...hopefully, these things can dress up your broken- er, rustic house.” The snake replies, watching your behavior with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

You son of a bitch-

“Look, snake-man. No no no no, look at me. Watashi no eyes, you look at eyes- you see my eyes?” You stalk towards the snake, squinting at the bright sun (2 suns) as you trudge towards him. “Y-you see? Yeah, these eyes have tried their FUCKING best to fix up this dorm, so please, bro, please don’t like, mock it cuz like-- it’s really fucking hard- and you know why?!”

“Why?” The sunshine questions, just as you hope (but for some reason, the snake has backed away and is guarding the sunshine. You wonder why.)

“Lemme tell you why- lemme tell you why. So, this bird-man bitch boy I don’t fucking know, right-” The snake sort of laughs at this description as sunshine nods. “This guy, right, leaves ALL this SHIT to me- like BITCH, did you see the fucking state of this... I don’t know, um, SHACK?!” You point aggressively at the house. “Yeah man, it was SHIT! Like, there were holes, rats on the ground, and there were a insects everywhere...” Oho, snake seems to tense up at this, walking towards sunshine in a scared manner.

“The wood was rotting, it smelled like mold... the couches were moldy, the BED was moldy... it was... it was FUCKING shit mate, like the fuck?! You expect me to clean up that shit in what, like...” You bring up your fingers, not even counting. “Three fucking days? Like what the fucking hell, bitch? I’d like to- to- to know what the fuck crossed his mind, like the fuck, you know?”

“That seems hard, prefect. Do you want us to help?” The sunshine offers, but the snake interjects, saying: “Kalim (oh, so his name is Kalim, huh? Cute name for a cute guy!), how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t-”

“But it looks like they’re having a really hard time!” Kalim argues, pouting and looking at you pitifully, and you give the snake a woeful mourning face. The snake glares at you, before sighing heavily. Ah, damn, you feel kind of bad.

“Nah, it’s okay sunshine, I can handle it. Oh, by the way, have ya seen my baby?” You say nonchalantly, describing your feline friend.

“Baby?” The snake pales. “You have a baby?!”

“Prefect, why do you have a baby?” The sunshine panics too, eyes widening, forgetting the nickname you gave him.

“Yeah, I do! Wanna see-” Slump! You fall onto the ground before you can finish your sentence, leaning across the snake’s legs.

“Oh... they’re probably talking about Grim...” Jamil realizes, sighing in relief at the thought.

“Oh yeah, that’s probably it! Hehe, we think alike, Jamil!” Kalim grins, much to the chagrin of Jamil.

“Yeah, yeah, we do. Now come on-” Jamil lifts up your body, princess style and grunts. “Help me open the door.”

“Sure thing!” Kalim hums, opening the door. “What do you think they were doing, looking so tired?”

Jamil shrugs, walking inside ASAP, first giving the dorm a quick sweep with his eyes- he isn’t quite sure how to feel about the bugs you said. They pass by the living room and upon seeing the disarray, nod in understanding.

“Kalim, can you clean it while I put the prefect back in their room?” Kalim nods and gets to work, rolling up his sleeves.

Jamil smiles, nodding as he walks towards your bedroom, opening it with his foot. Surprisingly, it looks WAY cleaner then your living room- you really did stay up all night to watch whatever show was on, huh? The bed isn’t even creased.

Jamil sets you down gently, and you immediately roll to the side, sighing in comfort. He watches as the crumbs of snacks fall onto the bed, and thanks the graces that its not Kalim’s, or his bed that got the food spilled, phew.

Speaking of Kalim, how is he faring? Jamil walks back to the living room, fully expecting to see Kalim get distracted, but much to his ACTUAL surprise, the room is a quarter cleaned. The crisps are thrown in the trash bin and the blankets are folded up, albeit not neatly.

Jamil smiles, a little bit proud of Kalim. “Kalim?”

“Here. Shh, not so loud. Grim’s sleeping.” Kalim whispers back, waving from the kitchen. “I’m trying to clean the dishes, but...”

“Here, let me teach you.” And so, they two do their best to help clean the living room until it’s up to Jamil’s standard.

“I bet they’ll feel surprised when they wake up!” Kalim giggles, happy that it’s clean.

“I hope so, it’ll be a waste if we did all this and they didn’t notice.” Jamil frowns, crossing his arms, satisfied. “I’m sure they liked the gifts, Kalim?”

“Really?! I didn’t go overboard, right?!” Kalim worries, looking at Jamil in concern.

“You always do.” Was Jamil’s snide remark.

“Jamil!” Kalim pouts, and Jamil nods.

“It’s true.”

“Aww... I thought I really... aww...” Kalim shakes his head, cheering up immediately. “There’s always next time! Let’s visit Heartslabyul next, Jamil!”

“Let’s go.” And Kalim rushes out, shouting a ‘Happy New Year!’ to the dorm, despite his previous warning. Jamil says nothing, echoing his behavior as they walk out.

(And it’s true. After 14 hours or so, you wake up, walked towards the living room, and cried the SHIT out of your eyes. It really was nice to see, you know?)

DIASOMNIA

 You can’t distinguish who the fuck this person is, but they’re definitely tall. 

“Who the fucking hell??? Is so fucking tall?” You ask in a whisper. “Hello?”

“Don’t talk to Malleus-sama that way, human!” A guy that looks similar to a cucumber yells. 

“Shut up, my guy. Oh shit, sorry I probably sound really fucking rude hah.” You snort, pinching the nose of your bridge. “Um, what can I do for you? Or something?”

“You look pale.” A softer voice comments. You turn to look at him and oh fucking HELL he looks so... soft??? Princely???

“Woah.” You breathe, grabbing his face. He quickly pushes you off, but you don’t mind. “What the fuck... Your face??? Is?? Nice???” 

“Thank... you...?” He says strangely, stepping away. “Da- LIlia-sama, I think we should leave. ___ doesn’t seem to feel well.”

“Nonsense, ___’s fine. It’s probably just lack of sleep.” You let out a bark at that. 

“Hah, lack of sleep. More like lack of heat!” You giggle at that- why did you giggle at that it literally makes no sense. You turn to look at this ‘Lilia’ person and holy shit, is that a d i l f ?

“...Dilf?” You mutter, stetching out your hand to touch this short emo man. “Emo???”

“What is a dlif?” Emo man’s face contorts into confusion, one that is not often seen in his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that phrase...”

“Dad’s I’d Like to Fuck, because damn bro, you look- you look like you raised hot kids and set them on a frying pan do you get me, cuz like you’re also sexy? I don’t... yeah.” You nod  heavily at your sentence. 

Emo man and prince-looking guy’s face contorts into a grin and a horrified look respectively. Tall man seems to have the same face as prince-looking guy, while Cucumber just... freezes. 

“Are y’all okay??? You know what, I don’t- I don’t have- I’m not- I’m- I’VE GOT THE APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS- BUTTS- BUTTS WITH THE FURRR, THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT HER~” You break out into a song, changing your voice to a country accent. 

“SHE TOOK THE FLOOR AND GOT THE JEANS AND WENT LOW LOW LOW low low low low...” You sync in with the music, going lower to the beat until you lay your body on the ground and slowly lose sight (or blurry shapes) in front of you.

You don’t know what happens next, but you do know that someone’s riding a small cow. With big horns. And hair? With the bit of consciousness you have left, you reach up to touch the cow horns. 

“Sick...” You mutter, and your hands fall slack on the small cow’s horns and you finally fall into well-deserved sleep.

EXTRA

“Lilia.”

"SEE SILVER, I TOLD YOU THAT PEOPLE WOULD-”

“I DON’T NEED TO HEAR IT, DAD!”

“NONE OF US DO!”

“Lilia.”

“I- I’M A DILF- I- I’M A DILF- HAH, I’M- OW OW OW... ow.. my back... oh, yes... Malleus?”

“I’m bringing the human inside.”

“Sure..- argh, ow ow ow... Silver, Sebek, come help me!”

“Yes, old man...”

“...”

“Pfft... a dilf... a dilf....” Malleus snickers at your naming choices, lighting up candles that you’ve strategically set. Once the lights are on, he can’t help but squint at the messiness of your dorm. He walks past the living room and opens your simple bedroom door, placing you on your bed. You don’t seem to be unbetrubed, but you squeezing something in the air. Ah, perhaps you’re looking for the cat? 

Poof! Grim instantly nuzzles into you, and you both sign at the warm heat between you. Malleus smiles at the sight and leans closer to you, and whispers: “Happy New Year, child of man. Let’s make more memories together.” He gazes at your simple room, and his eyes falls at your bedside table. He smiles fondly at the picture on your bedside table. It’s you, Grim and him in Ramshackle’s living room, you making flower crown as you bitch on about physics, Grim agreeing and complaining as well. 

He gives you a small pet on the head and disappears in neon butterflies. 

“Shall we go?”

“Oh, young whisperer, you’re back. I take it ___ is back in their bedroom?”

A smile blooms on Malleus’ face. “Yes, now let’s go.”

“Dilf.. dilf...”

“I can’t... dilf... I can’t.. no...”

*

I don’t fucking know what this is

I just thought--- lilia... is a dad.... and he sexy

and memes... and i created this fic

please enjoy it

[tellywoodtrash]

khkt 19.09.19 lb

how the fuck has this fool gotten away with multiple affairs if he's this bad at sneaking around? lol, what a loser.

"tu iss waqt yahaan?”, he asks his brother standing in front of his own damn house. mensa candidate of the year, this one.

"main bohut confused hoon."

"aaaah. join the gang."

lol. idiocy runs in the sippy genes.

"karne KUCH gaya tha; ho kuch AUR hi gaya." trollolololol i am really enjoying this.

HEY. NO. YOUR THING IS NOT LIKE HIS THING, YOU LYING, CHEATING MANWHORE.

not so subtle warning that rohit will absolutely not stand for fuckery within marriage.

"loyal hoon main." yeah, to your dick maybe.

YES THE SCENE I HAVE BEEN WAITING MOST FOR.

yessssssssssss sumannnnnnnnn, go offffffff ma.

woooooooop. i'm not for hitting your kids irl, but tellywood mein chalta hai. especially when your crotch-goblin, like this one here, really deserves it.

also lmao, suman ne aisa lagaaya ki pari got sent to the shadow realm.

waah kya safaai se jhoot bolti hai even under the influence. she’ll make a fantastic actor!

i mean she's not wrong, and suman needed to hear it that she can't be controlling grownass adults, but i also feel like this is just gonna go on to reinforce suman's belief that controlling a kid's life makes a good girl like sona, whereas giving free rein creates this kinda monster.

lo gir gayi.

BITCH DON'T YOU TOUCH PULKI LIKE THAT.

suman's chickens have come home to roost. isse kehte hain karma.

this is his romantic life analysis spot. whenever something momentous happens regarding his relationship status, it's on this balcony.

lmaooooooooo he really cannot close his eyes anymore without having a powerpoint slideshow of sona run.

askdjhsajfhaskjdfhdskfhjk

ofc his alter ego is a SMUGGER bastard than he is.

"tv nahi dekhte ho na, iss liye. apni sona se pooch lo; usne toh badi badi problems solve kiye hain, apne aap se baat karke." bwahahahahahahaha.

"don't! overreact!" HELLO KETTLE, THIS IS POT, YOU'RE BLACK.

alter ego is not only smugger, but also bougier; the deliberate, accented mispronunciations of the dramatic hindi words like "dhoka". i can't stop cackling like an insane person.

"itni simple si baat samajh mein nahi aati tumhe? doctor kisne banaaya?"

"bohut hi rude ho yaar!" 

AB SAMJHE????? KI TUMSE NIPATNA KITNAAAAAAAAAA MUSHKIL HAI??? KABHI KHUD KO BHI SEH LIYA KARO, JAISE BAAKI KARTE HAIN.

"tumhara hissa hoon na, rude toh hoonga hi!" askldjksjlskjfdsfj

alter!rohit is so much smarter. can we have him instead of this other fool?

omfg is he comparing raima to a plant? rude.

"kabhi kabhi lagta hai ki raima nahi, tum coma mein ho."

gotdamn. this one dropping truth bombs like an american drone over a brown country with oil reserves.

"sirf rearview mein dekh ke gaadi nahi chala sakta koi. ayeeee, tumhe toh gaadi chalaani nahi aati." LMAOOOO OMG THE WAY ALTER!ROHIT IS ROASTING HIM.

alter!rohit is like bohut ho gayi bakchodi, i have a life unlike you, soooo.... chalo rapid fire.

"fiqar hoti hai uski?"

"of course, haan."

"apne aap se zyaada?"

"ABSOLUTELY." my god the conviction with which he said that!!!!!! rohit, you absolute moppet.

lo ji, ho gaya issue ka samaadhaan.

"i love sonakshi????????"

lmaoooooooooo the dramatic asshole, echoing "accept it! enjoy it! accept it! enjoy it!"

mum-daughter bonding timeeeeee!

"nashe mein hi sahi, lekin bilkul sahi baat boli hai woh. woh meri sona nahi hai."

HALLELUJAH! FINALLLLLLLLLLLLY. SONA KI KEEMAT BADH GAYI HAI ISS HOUSEHOLD MEIN!

lmao pari take zimmedaari for the house. ho hi chuka.

protip to all girls, via sona and tt: marry a dude who makes your family a priority, instead of subscribing to that shaadi ke baad, sasuraal hi tumhara ghar hai bullshit.

ooooooooh, mummy has prepared for eventuality that rohit will be the ladka.

aankh milaake toh bolo, saaf saaf dikh raha hai ki jhoot bol rahi ho.

mummy knows best. also i like how she said "emotionally involve". it's more accurate for what's happening here than just "pyaar".

notice how she specified that sona should end it *IF* it's "ek tarfa pyaar". not the same tune she was singing an hour ago about never marrying sona off to a sindhi.

WHERE HAS THIS SORTED, PRAGMATIC, YET LOVINGLY STERN SUMAN BEEN ALL THE TIME?!?!?!? I HAVE WANTED TO SEE HER FOR MONTHSSSSSS NOWWWWWWW. THANK YOU BAPPA KE AAP JAATE JAATE YEH DE GAYE!

yup. end this shittttttttttttttttt. good call. get some me-time; ask star plus to send parvati off to switzerland like they did prerna. aaraam se ghoom phir ke aana.

look at this cheesyass mfer.

"i love sona."

ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

JFC SHE'S..... VERY ANNOYING.

.... this is 4 years back right??? why is she dressed like aishwarya in action replayy, like it’s the 70s????

ugh ok i don't like her immature ass. is she the same age as rohit? max 2 - 3 saal choti hogi? why she acting like a fucking teenager?

arre waaaaaah, coma gave her ESP, she knows that rohit's moving on without her permission.

i propose a steel cage death match: the annoying senguptas. raima and her mom fight to the death so that we have to tolerate only ONE of their annoying asses in the show instead of both.

guess tanaaz is off to shoot something else?

small mercies: akash is finally over his petty little grudge with nishi.

is the rest of the episode just this??? saying bye to nishi????

ouff fwding.

"agar tumne roya, toh tumhe airport drop karne suman rastogi aayegi." lmaoooooooooooo i love yk.

oh hooooooooo, new watch.

ouff shut up naren.

mummy is having a shipper moment.

lol look how happy she is. and his face, knowing that she already knows what's in it.

the music is too sappily senti, middle class types, for a super rich dude putting on a watch that costs a minimum of 5 lakhs.

purest mom. so much softness between the two of them. ugh i wanna squish them both in to a nice hug sandwich.

LMAO WHAT, SAMUNDAR MEIN PHENK DI???? ISKE BEECH TU BEACH KAB GAYA?????????????

"chariyo! aath laakh ki ghadi thi!!!!!!!!!!!"

aslfkdjdlfjdslfjdslk i am veena. BITCH OLX NAAM KI BHI KOI CHEEZ HOTI HAI.

i don't really think he threw it away. he's just doing it to get a rise out of his mom, the brat.

but also my question is this; raima looks to be from a pretty middle class family, and she wanted to be an air hostess. HOW THE FUCKKKKKKK DID SHE AFFORD A WATCH THAT COSTS EIGHT FUCKING LAKHS?!?!?

no i have no such advice for you. jo plan hai, woh achcha hai. friend-zone his ass for a while.

"yeh naatak sirf naatak nahi hai, taqleef hone lagi hai mujhe." ouch. my poor girl.

lol pulki wants internship with rohit. great. WILL YOU PPL LET THIS POOR GIRL LET GO OF THIS GUY?!!?

———————————————————————

either sonakshi ran her the fuck over, or raima too is a KPK fan, even though she's been in a coma for the whole duration of its run. SUCH IS THE POWER OF PARVATI!

[taz-shipping-docks]

TAZ Amnesty Ending Spoilers; Oof Thats A Weird Ship

Spoilers and Thoughts below the cut 

So… that ending huh?  I guess I still don’t know how to feel about it? Most of it was good and really cool but…. I guess I might be experiencing post end of series blues but…..  Duck and Minerva …. Oh boy…  I’m not like hating on it cause I support others ships and stuff….  but, it felt really weird.

Like Minerva didn’t seem the type to ….. get together with anyone and I guess I kinda head cannoned her as either Aro Ace or Lesbian Ace??? But she just gives me asexual vibes at the least. 

and Duck…. he never really showed interest in that either. I could be biased because I love Indrid with Duck and a couple of other ships. And he called himself a bear once (Thanks Justin lol) In all honesty I kinda saw the boys taking Duck and putting him with Juno?? Not cause I shipped it as anything more than platonic personally but it felt like that’s what Griffin was going to hint at before Justin brought up Minerva and Duck.  Either way, I’m probably just gonna ignore the statement of the two of them getting together, not because I don’t support our good boys, but because it kinda weirds me out to see Duck and Minerva as anything but good friends because of their personal history and I guess the fact that Minerva knew Duck as a teen?? It just feels weird as heck. Just personal icky vibes The hints of Stern and Barclay made me happy and 

Aubrey and Dani living together and being super sweet just makes me so happy though. Like fuckkkkkkk my OTP hearttttttt and Thacker befriending that girl who is ambiguously probably the quell just made my heart ache. Just some good platonic vibes and healing vibes….  I needed more of Indrid tbh but I understand the time constraints and such so to fan-fiction I go!! 

Hell maybe I’ll get back into writing fanfics just because of this….. Anyways, tell me your thoughts I’d like to hear em. Im trying to process this whole thing still so hmu 

[jisokai]

Okay I think requests are open right? Can you please write what would the RFA+Minor Trio do when MC is mad at them and doesn’t look or talk to them? And if they are with friends or other people she basically pretends they aren’t there at all? I hope this isn’t confusing ;; have an amazing day! 💗💗

ohhh boyy can i hold a grudge,, but im also very sensitive so based on the person im either a ball of bottled rage or a fucking mess sdhskd… thank you for being patient and i hope you enjoy

rfa+minor trio with an mc who gives them the silent treatment when angry

(also im trying new formatting to make it better for mobile users so please just bear with any changes)

yoosung

HE FEELS SO FUCKING BAD

immediately trying to apologize and make things up but you just shut him out and walk away

he hopes it’ll blow over by the end of the day but nope

youre at home and STILL ignoring him poor baby hes gonna cry

and he does!! he doesnt know what to do and he just wants to make sure everything is okay between you two!!

and youre not expecting him to run into the room and cry, begging for forgiveness and yelling not to break up

but it makes you melt and soften, sighing and reaching to embrace him

you have to just hold him for a moment to reassure his confidence 

it really just turns into a “reassure yoosung that he is loved” situation and you cant even be mad anymore awaeew

zen

he can put up with it well

almost sees it as a game in public

but then you get home,,

and its?? still going???

he then realizes how serious and upset you are and he feels reallyyy bad

he tries to let you cool down for a while before coming in with a proper apology

he doesnt like waiting things out and will try to fix things asap

but hes also glad you have a way of sticking up for yourself and showing him when he needs to step off his box and apologize

jaehee

she takes things seriously

so her first response is to get down to the problem immediately

but when she realizes you wont even respond

she decides to leave you alone so you both can wear it off

but then shell come in and force you to listen to her apology (or lecturing you to stop being childish, all based on the situation)

itll pass over quickly

she always takes arguments seriously and doesnt like waiting it out

jumin

he likes the sassiness tbh

kind of a cat and mouse game? smugly trying to get you to talk back to him

but when you never give in or even smile at his antics, he shuts off the act and is very genuinely trying to get your attention

when you still dont respond, he resorts to letting you be for a moment

and if in public, he lets you talk to your friends without trying to get your attention to let you cool down

but when youre alone again or had time to chill, he comes up to you with a formal apology

it makes you crack and reply to him, which makes him so happy

he was lowkey really worried dkjdskj

and he gives you kisses and gifts to try and reclaim his love again

seven

jokes

jokes

why.. why arent you replying to the jokes???

when he sees how serious and stubborn youre being, he softens a little and tries to coax the words out of you 

not one for giving you tons of space and time, but instead tries everything to get a reaction

compliments everything about you, apologizing over and over, offering everything he can

when you still dont say anything, he gets really worried and tears may end up in his eyes

and crying seven makes me break so it makes you break too 

you give in to vent about whatever it was he did and hes just so happy you spoke to him that he cant even feel bad sdjskjd

will be quick to fix  whatever it was and get back to the loveyness,,,

saeran

hes holding a grudge too

silent treatment royalty

its kind of a competition now oh god

but he starts to crumble easily and tries to get your attention without being obvious

but you cant handle anything right now, pure rage blinding you from anything he does

and he just wants to go back to normal now but you still wont back down

so when he gently tugs on your sleeve and looks at you will such sad eyes

fuckkkkkkk

silent treatment who? idk her lol

(HOLY SHIT I GOT DEJA VU TYPING THAT WOAH)

when he gets in that kind of mood, you know he needs you, so you manage to put the fight away and comfort him

but hes like this because of the fight, so it gets resolved in the end

v

honestly doesnt even realize its silent treatment at first

after you argue, he just naturally gives you space so he doesnt realize youre holding a grude

WHICH JUST MAKES THE GRUDGE WORSE GRRRR

when he comes back with an apology and resolution, you cant even be mad???

he never even realized you were giving him the silent treatment??

he so quick to resolve things now you dont have time to guilt him

honestly just please never do that to him he doesnt deserve it

hes been through enough okay

vanderwood

just tsks and walks out of the room

theyre probably doing the same, but they let it go quickly

so when they ask what you want for dinner and theres no response, all they say is “youre doing that stubborn bullshit now?” and walk out

and now you dont have any fucking food because you never told them what you wanted

honestly you couldnt get much out of them

theyre too stubborn as well

maybe if its really extreme, theyll offer a curt apology and awkward hug thing

thank you for reading!! i hope you liked it

masterlist

[hotcocosharing]

Way To Celebrate (OTBS Gangbang)

Fandom: Our Two Bedroom Story Category: Smut Character: Minato, Kaoru, Chiaki, Shusei and Akiyoshi Notes: GANGBANG.. This has been in my head for some time but I already forgot most details >.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

One thing about being in the share house with your colleagues, you don’t need to worry about getting drunk when the bed is only few steps away and all the guys are pretty decent, well apart from Chiaki. So you don’t have to think twice when they decide to throw a celebration party for your recent award, your and Minato’s award to be exact. But, whatever, it’s your first official recognition as a journalist, you’re thankful to have Minato as a partner to work on such meaningful article.

“TO GET WHAT?” You yell incredulously. “I’m just saying you need to be careful. You alone with all the guys with all the alcohol…” Tam smiles with concern.

“But still… I wouldn’t get…” You couldn’t stomach the word out of your throat but your best friend Tam has finished the sentence for you.

“Gangbanged! You may get gangbanged!’”

“Oh my god, Tam shut up!!!” You slam your redden cheeks to clam yourself down but Tam has already planted a seed in your head. Of course you’ve fantasied them in your dream or when you’re helping with yourself in the shower. You live with six hotties, how can you not? But the thought of being fucked by all of them at once? No, it has never crossed your mind until now.

“Yo!! Stop spacing out!” Minato hits your head with a bunch of papers and shakes you back to brainstorming about the new project. It’s hard to focus but secretly pinching your thighs under the table sure help a little.

Why!! Why does Tam has to say something like that?! It’s not like you are the type to be engage in some hardcore sexual activity. They wouldn’t think the same thing, would they?

From the look on Minato’s face, he kind of fits the type although you’re sure there are only certain positions he’d agree to do.

“I know I’m good looking but could you quit staring and get back to work?!” Minato smirks at you after flicking your forehead.

You apologize and put up with the endless meeting for another hour till the chief editor comes to rescue you for some grocery shopping. The growler is exceptionally cute when he’s shy, he blushes whenever his hand accidentally touches yours. Gangbang, Akiyoshi? Not a chance!

Few hours later, the rest of the team begin to arrive home while you and Akiyoshi prepare the feast in the kitchen. Your heart rise whenever you steal a glance at the boss, a man who could cook is so sexy, he’s just your type. You can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to date him, to feel his touches and kisses. The party starts with a round of champagne follow by sushi and shabu shabu. The night continues with more cheers and alcohol plus some unexpected flirtatious questions. Do all men ask weird sexual questions when they’re drunk?

“Good to see you loosen up and enjoy yourself, ______.” Shusei smiles and pats your back.

“Oh someone’s getting cozy..” Chiaki gives a sly smile and a wink, then leaves for more booze.

“It’s too bad Kido couldn’t make it ay, he’s missing out.” Minato says then stuffs another roll of sushi into his mouth.

“He’s gone to Osaka to see his brother, I hope everything’s okay. Hmm, maybe I should give him a ring.” You head to the balcony and make a quick call.

The remaining men sit around the couch and watch you closely, every single one of them want a piece of you. It’s Chiaki who comes to you with beers in hand, “Want one?” Putting your phone away to receive the beer, you feel his hand slips to your waist.

“Chiaki!”

“Shhhhh..” He smirks, “Let’s make a toast.”

His hot breath is making your mind blank before you’d mumble something, Chiaki’s lips nibble your ears when he whispers another congratulations, his hand slowly travels downwards but Minato pulls you both back in the living room before things get out of hands.

“Stop sexual harassing her!” Shusei pouts when both men have their hands on your shoulders.

“She’s my partner!” Minato sticks his tongue out but Chiaki pulls you towards him and suggests you to team up with him instead. The two popular editors keep pulling you from left to right, like two boys fighting over their favorite toy. “Stop already!” Akiyoshi growls and everyone stay quiet but Minato suddenly kisses your cheek, making you yelp in shock!

“Minato!” Akiyoshi yells again but Chiaki swiftly turns you to him and seals your lips.

“Hmmmm!!!!!”

You’d expect it to be quick since everyone’s watching but it’s exactly why Chiaki isn’t letting go. Cupping your cheeks, he forces his tongue in and explores all he can until Shusei pushes him away when Minato hurries and has a taste too. “Wait, Min…!!!!! Hmmm!!!”

Both men are so forceful, all you’d taste is alcohol. Your head begin to spin while you vaguely hear more jealousy complains then you feel another kiss on your neck to see Chiaki has found his lips on your flesh again. Then Shusei joins the party too by sucking the other side of your neck and from the corner of your eyes, you see Akiyoshi’s eyes darken in silence.

By the time you’re aware of what’s really happening, the three men are stripped and showing their erected cocks on display while they are all busy groping and feeling up your body. Without thinking, your hands grab the nearest dicks and stroke them with dexterity, causing your hot teammates to groan in pleasure.

It makes you feel sexy and powerful.

You couldn’t help but wonder if you’d retain this feeling when they all stuff their fullness in you. One of them, most probably Minato bends you over while standing and thrusts impatiently. The sensation of having such a massive dick inside you cause you to moan loudly and increase the pace with the two cocks in your hands. The man from behind smacks your firm butt hard enough to make you yelp.

“I’ll make you cry and beg for more.”

Yup, that’s definitely Minato.

You know in the back of your mind that Akiyoshi is watching but you don’t have the guts to look, not when you’re being fucked by Minato with two more shafts in hands.

No, you don’t want to know what he looks like right now and you don’t want him to see how much you’re enjoying this either.

After a couple of thrusts, they pick you up and move you to the couch. You’re brought down onto the lap of Chiaki while Shusei pours some beer as lube and prepares your anus for a large insertion, it doesn’t surprise you with Chiaki’s huge cock taking over your ass.

As much as you hate it, your eyes meet with the growler as your mind break down from the sheer pleasure you are newly experiencing. It no longer matters how exactly do you end up to this, any remaining doubts you have are all forgotten, the only words you’d manage to escape your lips are, “Oh my goddddd!!” “Yesss!!” “Ahhh ahhhh ahhh!!” “Fuckkkkkkk hmmmm!!!” and more screams of joy.

You reach your climax in no time, shuddering and writhing. Your ass still clench around Chiaki’s fulfilling cock, milking it till its last drop is extracted to the condom. The hot and satisfying feeling of getting an anal creampie is something you’ve never experienced before.

Arching your back in amazement as Chiaki gives your neck a few more bites before he lifts you up and leaves you with the anticipating Minato and Shusei while he disappears to clean up.

*SMACK*

Looking over your shoulder, you see Shusei leaning his body to align with yours, sliding his member into your widened hole. “______, I’ve fantasied this for so long.” The ladies man confesses while Minato takes your free hand to stroke him.

“Oh I plan to fuck you all night long.” He smirks, clearly saving the best for last. The sounds in the room are occupied by moaning, grunting, high-pitched screams with grunts and gasps from the men surrounding you.

Including Akiyoshi!

You stare at your boss, the man you admire so much who is now pumping his manhood as Shusei furiously pounds your behind. Putting his hands on your shoulder, Shusei pulls your back towards him then asks the boss to join. But before he’d answer, Minato jumps in and positions himself.

With two cocks slamming rapidly in and out of your pussy and ass, you cry with both pleasure and pain, begging for them to fuck harder. The stimulation coming from both angles brings another orgasm rushing inside you. Seeing stars and moaning like crazy, you’re barely aware of the pulsing cock that’s emptying its load on your abdomen.

Coming down from your latest and greatest orgasmic high, your face is slathered with precum. Kaoru’s dick is giving your cheek a wet shine, no rational thought is left to stop you from welcoming your colleague whose cheeks are blushed at such erotic site. You have no idea who or how you are dragged in front of the man who’s been filming the entire thing but your tongue automatically lick Kaoru’s balls and tastes his sweetness. However, the usual quiet and reserved man can’t take it any longer. He pushes you down to the carpet and lifts your legs high while his hands roam and grope your body. He is as gentle as any girl could hope for, his warm hands casually brushes your hair as he pulls in and out of you while the rest keep playing with their shafts with you being under him.

“You want more cock, don’t you?” Someone chuckles, his voice hoarse and heavy. Flush with embarrassment, you nod and moan undoubtedly.

You truly do.

You haven’t had enough yet.

You haven’t had all the cocks yet.

With a particular hard thrusts, Kaoru and you cum together. You’re becoming more of a mess than you already are, never wanting the constant pounding to stop. You are moved into different positions every time one of the guys pull out to save themselves for the big finish.

You’d no longer tell who’s behind as your ass’s filled with one, your pussy is stuffed with two, plus one more in your hand but Akiyoshi keeps his distance. He stands and watches intensely, his dick has soften and harden several times with load of cum dripping to the floor.

But he never steps in to join. Every second is filled with nothing but orgasmic bliss. You are drowning in pleasure, completely satisfied.

Only one thing is missing, one man.

The night ends with you on your knees, cum leaking out from used condoms lying around the floor and your mouth open wide. The group of horny editors jerk their dicks feverishly, eager to end this celebration with one last thick loads. One by one, all four men release whatever reserves of cum they have left onto your face while you moan in ecstasy and rub yourself to another orgasm with your eyes fixed on your boss.

The men are either wasted or exhausted, lying and sleeping at different corners while you quietly follow the tall and muscular figure to the bathroom. Opening the foggy glass door, you sheepishly ask if you’d join.

“I never would have thought you’d do something this wild.” The growler sounds amused.

“Neither.” You mutter, “I’ve never thought about it with all of you.”

You quickly turn to the shower head as you realize what a stupid thing to say but the warmth of Akiyoshi’s chest pressing against your back makes you shiver with anticipation.

“Oh?” His hot breath tickling your ear. “You fantasied us?”

You nod.

“Any favorite?” His hand drawing circles on your inner thigh.

“You… chief.” You whimper, “I insist them to have protections.”

That triggers the growler to groan deep in his throat with his manhood teasing your wet folds. “You’re such a tease.”

“Hmmmm…. You’re so mean, sir.”

Grinning mischieviously, he rubs your clit with his fingers while he brushes his cock against your entrance ever so lightly. “How should I punish you for testing me all night?”

“Sir, please….”

“Call me daddy when we are alone.” Akiyoshi’s tone changes.

“Daddy.” Your breathing become heavy, resting your head on his shoulder as he picks up his pace. “Please…. please …. Daddy .. I want you.. inside, please…”

Your legs begin to shake after being fucked so many times a night, you’re at your limits.

“Who’s a dirty little slut?” His words surprise you, he doesn’t seem like the type with daddy kink and talks dirty but you’d say anything at this point.

“I… I am… I’m your dirty little slut.” Thank god you’re alone right now or else you’d died from embarrassment.

“What does my dirty little slut want?”

“Your cock, daddy! Please fuck me!”

You give in much faster than he expects but given what a long night it’s been, he couldn’t wait any longer either. Akiyoshi takes a step back and turns you around to face him, “I’ll give it to you good, little girl. You’ll never want any other cocks but mine.”

[creampuff-earper]

Kate McKinnon Fanfiction. Foldingchairs and the city of dreams. Chapter 10

Hey guys, I’ve decided to post my fanfic about Kate McKinnon on here. You can find it on AO3 as well: 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8275334/chapters/18957797

Summary: This fanfiction tells the story of a fan, just like any of us, meeting Kate and everything that happens after that.It takes off at SNL, later on Nino will be there and Kate is the most amazing person in the world. What could one want more?

Rated M 

Chapter 10

I look at the text one more time, just waiting to be sent out to the person that had me in her grip ever since that phone call last week. I fiddle with my fingers and contemplate if it's the right thing to do. She’d hurt me so bad with something as simple as not texting back, if I let her back in that meant I was, once again, putting myself in a position where she could really hurt me. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to feel that vulnerable, and risk getting hurt by her again.

I look up from my phone and spot the enormous Ghostbusters poster on my bedroom wall. I let my eyes wander over the paper and finally, they land on the character that had started this all. Holtzmann changed my life ever since I saw her on the big screen. After falling head over heels for this goofy weirdo, it wasn't long until I found out about the even goofier weirdo who had portrayed her. I was crazy if I didn't think that me meeting Kate, and actually getting to know her as she is in real life, was a gift that I shouldn't take for granted.  That weekend in New York had been one I had been dreaming about ever since I found out about Kate. But besides the amazing feeling of my dream of meeting her coming true, I had actually found someone who I could be myself with within a couple of moments, someone who had earned my trust ever since she admitted she had never done this before either, someone who had taken my breath away by just being herself.

Yeah... of course, it isn’t a question if I want to talk to Kate again, because I do, but it’s about daring to take a leap of faith and trusting her not to hurt me again. That’s what makes it so hard. I’ve already been hurt too many times in my life, I don’t really need any more pain or heartbreak. But she promised me. And I believe her.

Here goes to nothing....

20:12 M: Hey Kate, I am really sorry about drunk texting you last night... That wasn't supposed to happen... But I have thought about what you said on the phone and I really want to try again talking again... Not talking to you was very hard and I can't imagine my life rn without it... So that means I forgive you, but please, please promise me to never ditch me like that again...

I release a breath when the message is sent and shows to be delivered. I lock my phone and hook it up to the charger. Hopefully, in the morning, I’d wake up to a message that said something like ‘I’ve missed you too’ or ‘Thank you for forgiving me’ or maybe even ‘I’ll never hurt you again, now let’s get married and have 3 children’. Okay yeah, that’s probably never going to happen, but a girl can dream, right? Really, though, who am I kidding?

I fluff up my pillow and let my head sink into the soft fabric, closing my eyes and resting my still very hung over body. Just as I am about to drift off my phone buzzes and suddenly I’m upright again and reaching for my phone.

20:18 K: It's fine Mykah, I get it. You don't need to lie to me. I hope you and this girl are happy! You don't owe me anything. It was nice getting to know you. Bye.

My breathing starts to get uneven and I can practically feel my heart beating in my throat. What did she just say? Did she just say bye as in ‘We'll never talk again’ bye?! But I just told her I forgave her.... And how in the hell could she know about the girl...

And suddenly it hits me. Of course... How could I be that stupid? We’re Facebook friends. She saw the video of the karaoke bar when Alex tagged me in it... Fuckkkkkkk. I run my hands over my face and sigh. This isn’t how it was supposed to happen...

Something inside of me says I need to tell her it was nothing and that it didn't mean anything to me. But that’s a lie.. I loved spending the night with Alex and getting attention from someone who is actually interested in me. Just the thought of seeing her again is giving me goosebumps. That’s not really something I can just ignore..

Still, the thought of actually losing Kate forever makes me sick to my stomach. I couldn't just say goodbye to her after that phone conversation we just had, a conversation that had felt so real and honest, yet unbelievable at the same time. How on earth was I going to fix this…

------- 3 months later -------

"Hey babe"

"Hmmmm"

"I'm going out with some friends tonight, is that alright?"

I look up and see my drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend changing into something that made my fingertips tingle.

"Again?" I ask, and as she catches my eyes I silently plead with her not to go and just stay in with me.

"Sorry babe, it's Tessa’s birthday and she decided last minute that we're going out, and she really expects me to come..." She says and continues getting ready.

"But we haven't seen each other all week and I thought I would have you for myself tonight... You know..." I plead and raise my eyebrows at the last part of the sentence.

She had been staying at her place all week because it was more convenient with her night shifts she took at the hospital. However, that also meant that when she worked I slept, and vice versa. I really, really hated the night shift weeks.

"I know babe, but I really can't bail on another party, Tessa and the others are counting on me to be there..."

I sigh as I feel myself giving up. There’s no way I was ever going to be able to convince her not to go to this party.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise!" She says and blows me a kiss from where she's standing in the bathroom, applying her make-up.

"You better... I'm about to blow over here..." I groan and get back to the book I was reading on my bed.

After a minute or two, my girlfriend emerges from the bathroom, almost causing me to choke on my own spit when I look at her. Ho-Ly shit.

She's wearing a tight, short dress that leaves nothing to the imagination. Her hair’s pinned up and the lipstick on her lips is a shade of red that makes my blood boil.

"You are not going out like that" I simply state and have to control the urge to rip that dress off her perfect body right then and there.

"Oh, aren't I?!" She grins as she slowly walks over to the bed.

"Nope... No way in hell..." I choke out and watch her intently gazing at me with a small smirk on her lips and a wicked shade in her eyes. She’s up to something...

"Says who?" She seductively responds, finally reaching the bed and motioning for me to sit on the edge.

I obey immediately, allowing her to step between my legs, her hands coming up to rest on my shoulders. This woman is going to be the death of me one day...

"That's what I thought..." She smirks and lets her hands roam down my neck.  

I’m at a loss for words. All I can see and feel is her beautiful body so close to mine. We haven’t been intimate for over a week and my body is reacting to her in an almost primal way. I feel her slowly bend toward me and pull my head towards her simultaneously. Just when I think she’s going to kiss me she tilts my head to the side and ghosts her lips over my ear.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise..." I shiver as her hot breath hits my skin and groan as I finally comprehend what she just said.

"Nooo nooo, please. Please, I only need 20 minutes... Please, Alex, you can't do this to me, looking all hot and bothered and then leave me to let other people look at you, it's not fair..."

"Mykah, I can't, I'm sorry I really have to leave... And you know I'm yours, let them watch, you'll be the one I'm going home to in the end"

I put my hands on her hips and get up from the bed. "You better make it up to me so good that I won’t be able to walk straight for a week.” I groan into her ear and now it's her turn to shiver.

"Deal..."

"Deal... And now leave before my self-control falters and I'm gonna rip that dress of your body!" I say and give her a light peck on her cheek, making sure not to mess up her lipstick, being the considerate girlfriend I am.

"Thanks, babe, I'll try to be as silent as possible when I get home, kay? Have a good night!"

"You too! Have fun!" I say as she waves one last time at me and a second later I hear the front door close with a thump.

I sigh and slouch back onto the bed. Now what? It was 08:30 pm on a Saturday night and I had no plans. Usually, I didn't mind some alone time but ever since Alex and I started dating I really wanted to hang out with her all the time. I finally decide to text Alice, asking if she has any plans for tonight, and I get a simple reply that just said

Be there in 10 minutes’.

We spend the night watching TV-shows and drinking beer. By the time the credits of the 5th episode of How to get away with murder roll, we've finished 2 six-packs of beers and I'm starting to feel a bit light headed.

"Hey, Myk..." Alice starts and lingers when she spots Frank taking his shirt of very slowly.

"Yes, my dear hetero?" I ask and laugh at her as she continues to watch the show with a small smile on her face.

"Weird question, but have you maybe seen the news about Kate lately?" She finally says after the scene ends, and my fussy brain suddenly sobers up at the mention of her name. We haven’t really talked about her ever since Kate told me she didn’t want any contact anymore.

"Uhhh, no"

"Hmmmm" She hums and continues watching Frank making out with a way hotter Laurel.

"Why'd you ask?"

"Nah, nothing..." She mumbles and she takes another gulp of her beer.

"Alice, what the hell. Don't mention her and then say it's nothing..." I say, getting royally pissed off now. She knows how hard it’s been for me to accept that I fucked it up. Let alone try to forget about Kate when I started dating Alex 3 months ago. All in all, it hadn’t been easy.

"Alright alright, I'm sorry, I just happened to read it, and I thought maybe you had too..."

"Read what?!"

"That she's promoting her new movie and she's coming to Amsterdam next week..."

I don't know what happens exactly, but suddenly all of the color drains from my face, and my heart feels like it’s trying to beat out of my chest.

"Wh..., what" I stammer and Alice watches me with concern.

"Myk are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost...”

"Al... Are you... Are you serious?!"

"I read it on her own page... So I think it's pretty serious, yeah..." She carefully says and watches me absorb the information.

"Holy shit" I breathe out and fall back into the couch. The realization of her being in the same country as me hits me, hard. What does this mean... Am I going to see her, does she want to see me, am I even allowed see her? Do I actually want to see her?

What would happen if I do see her… I’m with Alex now. Shit. Alex. I never told her about the whole Kate thing...

In my train of thoughts, I don't even hear my phone vibrating on the table. It isn't until Alice holds it in front of my face that I realize Alex is calling me.

I quickly answer the call and hold it to my ear.

"Hey, babe" I say and hear thumping music and loud chatter in the background.

"Baabyyyy!!! Alex yells and I have to keep the phone away from my ear.

"Hey you, Alex is everything alright? Why are you calling?" I say, not able to hide the concern in my voice. She usually never calls me when she’s out.

"Yeah yeah, all's cool... I just wanted to tell you that I really wish you were here! It's soo fun! I wanna dance with you and make everyone jealous that you’re my girlfriend...." She stammers, struggling with some of the words in her drunken state.

"That's sweet of you.... Next time I'll come with okay?"

"Yeahhh!"

"Alright baby, have fun and look after yourself okay?"

"Okay, you too! Love you!"

I say nothing and end the call.

If I wasn't already on the verge of dying already, I definitely am now...

I let the phone drop from my hands and turn around into the couch and yell my lungs out. Doc comes running over and starts barking, making me realize just how hard I’m yelling.

"Myk stop! What is it? What happened?!" Alice yells and pulls me from the cushions, pulling on my arm to get me to look at her.

I look at her with a defeated look on my face. How on earth is this evening happening? This is too much to handle at once.

"Talk to me, please." Alice softly says, knowing how I shut down when things are just too much for me to handle.

I clench my jaw and hit my head, just talk you stupid ass...

"Alex just said, she told me- well....she said ‘love you’. "

"Oh..."

"Yeah"

"And you didn't say it back..."

"No"

"Hmmm........ I shouldn't have said she was coming huh..."

"I don't know..."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know... Dig a hole and never come out again? That seems most fitting in this situation."

"Yeah, that sounds about right..."

"AL!!!"

"Sorry, I'm trying to process this shit show the very best my compromised brain is capable of right now, give me a minute!"

"Maybe she just said it as a matter of saying... You know..."

"Uhu"

"And she's drunk..."

"She probably just blabbed it out without thinking about it... I tell you I love you all the time and I never mean it..."

"Sometimes I wish you weren't such an asshole who has to joke about literally everything..." I sigh and put my head in my hands.

"And sometimes I wish you'd never met Kate, but hey, we can't all get what we want, can we?" Alice spits out, and it almost sounds bitter.

I tilt my head to look at her and she looks annoyed.

"What did you say?" I spit back, for some reason getting mad at her for saying that.

"I'm just saying that if you hadn't met her, it just would have been easier..."

I sense she is going somewhere with this, but I dare her to actually say it out loud...

"How?"

"You know Myk, I think you know darn well that if Kate hadn't been in the picture, you wouldn't have freaked out about Alex saying those words just now because you would have said them right back. I know you... You don't do things halfway, but don't tell me you haven't doubted your relationship with Alex every time she gave you a reason to. You say you’ve let go of Kate, but deep down I know you are still hoping for a day where she is just going to show up and tell you she is sorry. And you know what the sad thing is, if she did, you'd take her back in a heartbeat... And for what? You saw her 1 day, 1 freaking day Mykah... You don't know her. You know someone on the other side of the world you happened to fall in bed with 8 months ago. That's not real... Alex is, and you are not being fair to her if you are going to keep this up...”

"Are you done?" I spit out after a second of silence from Al's side.

"Yeah.."

"Great, get out...." I state and point at the door.

"Mykah, what?"

"I said get out"

"Don't be ridiculous"

"Get the fuck out of my house Alice, now!" I'm practically breathing fire right now and the longer Alice stays in my sight the angrier I get. There is a second of shock on Al's face before it's replaced with a hatred. She shakes her head and gets up from the couch.

"You know what Mykah, fuck you. I'm always here for you and now you pull this... Fuck you and your problems, I'm done." She yells back and grabs her stuff and slams the door behind her.

The silence that overtakes my home if deafening.

I fall back into the couch and take a deep breath.

I fucked it all up....

------------------------------

When Alex returns in the dead of night and slips in the bed beside me, I pretend to be asleep. She softly kisses me on my cheek and slides her cold front against my warm back. "Goodnight Mykah" she whispers and within a couple of minutes I hear her doze off.

I feel sick to my stomach because of the guilt. Alice was right. After a couple of hours of cooling off after throwing Alice out, I had started to put what she said into perspective. I had convinced myself that I was over Kate, that I was really committed to this relationship with Alex.

I adored this girl and the physical attraction was through the roof with her. But thinking back now, that’s probably also what our relationship is built on.

After that night at the bar we got together for a couple of dates and at some point, we only needed to lock eyes to know we had to find a place where we could ravish each other.

It was exciting and thrilling to want somebody that much for the both of us, and because it was happening so often anyways we just decided being in a relationship was the logical thing to do.

Ever since that decision was made I felt that at some moments we weren't quite on the same page, but I had always thought that was just something that needed time to grow, especially after everything with Julie. A small tear escaped from the corner of my eye. If only she was still here... Things would have been so much easier. Kate would have stayed someone I could obsess over from across the ocean, and Alex and I had probably never met.

But she's not here. And that hurt like shit. She’s probably raging with anger up there because of how I’m behaving towards Alice. She has every right to. I shouldn't have snapped at Alice like that. But she made me realize the truth, something that been hard after months pretending everything was fine with Alex, and that I didn't miss Kate or wonder what was going on in her life. First thing this morning I was going to make it up to her. I couldn't figure this one out by myself, I needed her to do this with me, or I was going to lose my mind.

----------Tuesday evening--------------

So far Alice had slammed the door in my face 4 times, ignored all my calls and texts and made Josh come over to tell me she didn't want to hear anything from me. This was going to be harder than I had anticipated....

There’s also the fact that I’ve basically been ignoring Alex ever since she said those words, telling her that I was stressed out by work and didn’t have time to see her. Also, there was a constant nagging in the back of my head telling me I had to go to Amsterdam this weekend. So... I was definitely having a really awesome week so far...

I had told Alex not to come over tonight, but when she insisted, because she really wanted to watch MasterChef together, I eventually gave in. I didn't have the energy to keep fighting her on the matter and when she arrived that evening all cuddly and bubbly I had to try my best not to snap at her after only 10 minutes into the show.

She had done nothing wrong, so it wasn't fair. I just kept my mouth shut, watched the show and told her I was going to bed right after. Hoping she took it as a hint I wanted to sleep alone tonight, I pecked her lips and asked her if she would lock the door on her way out.

"But I was thinking of staying over tonight actually..."

I stop on my way to the bedroom and close my eyes; I had been dreading this moment ever since she convinced me to watch the show together. I swallow my chagrin about the matter and turn around to smile at her.

"Okay fine, but I'm going to sleep Al, I need to be up at 6 am tomorrow."

I see her face fall, but soon enough she is by my side grabbing my hand and walking with me to the bathroom. We brush our teeth in silence and I feel Alex glancing over at me every 5 seconds or so. When we finish she grabs my hand as I try to walk towards the bed and spins me around.

"Hey, I know work has you stressed, but you sure that's all? You've been really... I don't know... Ever since Saturday night you've been behaving weird..."

I look into her beautiful green eyes and see the pain flashing in them for a second.

"I'm sorry, Al. It's just I had this fight with Alice and she's not talking to me and it's just hard."

"Yeah, I know... I'm sorry about that..." She says softly and rubs my hand with her thumb.

I turn around again to continue my path towards the bed but when she speaks up again I stop and my heart breaks almost breaks.

"I know what I said that night on the phone Myk... Is that the reason you've been acting like this?"

I shrug my shoulders and sit down on the bed. With every second I feel myself closing up and if Alex isn't going to put a stop to it soon I wasn't going to be able to say anything at all.

I see Alex watching me with a hurt look in her eyes. "I knew it..." She walks over to take a seat next to me.

I close my eyes, finding it too hard to watch her being hurt by something I did.

"You didn't say it back..."

I slightly shake my head and clench my jaw, please don't ask, please don’t ask.

"Are you..."

No please Alex don’t, I plead with her in my head, but I know it's too late.

"Are you ever going to say it back?"

The silence that falls over us has so much tension it's almost suffocating.

"Please Mykah...."

I look up to her and see the tears form in her eyes and my heart breaks for the second time that night. I bring my hand up to wipe them away as they fall down her cheeks.

"I... I don't know...." I finally croak out.

"Why... what is it that makes you unsure?" She sobs, with wet cheeks and a runny nose.

"Please Al, it's not you okay? Please don't ever think that. You are an amazing woman and I do love you, just not in the way you want me to say it.... not yet"

I plead with her and rub her back, trying to soothe the sadness I caused.

"Is it because of Julie?"

"I don't... No... No this is not about Julie... I know for sure she would have approved of you. So no."

"Then what Mykah? Because I don't get it! The last 3 months have been amazing and now it feels like it has all gone to shit."

I look at the floor of my bedroom and try to figure out if telling Alex about Kate would be for the best, or if it would just make things worse... She deserves an answer, but I don't know if I have one.

"Tell me, please Mykah... Please..." She begs me and I take a deep breath.

“Okay, so uh… I went to New York in November. I went there by myself, to see SNL..."

"Huh, what?"

"Saturday Night Live, it's a comedy sketch show that airs every Saturday where comedians play out sketches about things that happened that week, like politics or just plain scenes that they've come up with. And they tape it live at the NBC studios in New York."

"Okay..." Alex breathes and is now facing me sideways on the bed. I keep my eyes focused on the floor, hoping to find some wisdom there about how on earth I was going to explain this to her.

"And I went there because I am a fan of one of the comedians who is part of the cast." I say and briefly glance at Alex who nods her head to make me continue.

"She's the same as the girl from Ghostbusters, the one where I have all the shirts of..."

"Holtzmann?"

"Yeah.... She's played by Kate McKinnon. So I went to New York to see her... And because of something that happened, I actually got to meet her after the show and we chatted for a bit and it was really amazing." I say and I try not to smile too much as I say it, my mind immediately going back to that night and replaying the moment I met Kate for about the millionth time.

"That's really nice Myk, but what does that have to do with us?" Alex asks and there's no turning back now. She should know.

"She contacted me after that night. She found me on Facebook and we texted for a bit, and then we went out to dinner, and from one thing came another and... I... I spent the night at her place..."

"Oh... But... It was one night, right? That doesn't mean anything..."

"It was a night, and a morning and when I got back we texted almost every possible hour of the day... And uhm... I know it's stupid and weird but I kinda... I fell for her that night and I have been falling for her ever since..."

I catch Alex closing her eyes and sigh in defeat in the corner of my eye and I know it's done...

"We haven't been texting anymore, not in the time that I have known you that is... Just so you know..."

She softly shakes her head and there's disbelieve in her eyes. Those beautiful green eyes that I wouldn't get tired of watching all day.

"So you’re telling me you can't do this because you are in love with someone you've seen 1 weekend? You do get that she's a celebrity and can take anyone home for that matter?"

"It was not like that Alex... At least, not for me."

She shakes her head and scoffs at me. "Mykah, I get that you are passionate about your TV shows and their actors but this is just ridiculous! Why are you holding on to something that never existed? And fucking up your real life because of it? I really don't believe you..."

I know I am not the victim in this situation but Alex's words hit me like a punch in the gut.

"I get that you don't get it..."

"So now what? You aren't even talking anymore, so what do you expect will happen. Because I’m not going to wait around for you to realize that I was right..."

The anger inside is starting to bubble up again and I clench my fists into the sheets from snapping once again. She didn't deserve that.

“I don't know what I want to happen Al. But I do know that I don't want to lose you.... and...."

"Yeah?"

"And that Kate is coming to Amsterdam this weekend..."

"What?!"

"She's promoting her new movie and Amsterdam is listed as a junket location."

Alice gets up from the bed and wipes her cheeks one last time before crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking at me.

"If you want to give us a chance Mykah, you don't go to Amsterdam this weekend.

If you do, you've made your decision and I'll pack my stuff and you will never see me again... I am not going to wait around until you get your head on straight and realize she’s a big mistake."

My eyes plead with her, silently asking her to please not force me to make this decision. It’s useless. She’s put her guard up and all I see are two cold green orbs boring right through me.

"Let me know" She bites back, and then rushes out of the room, slamming the front door behind her the same way Alice did last weekend.

I fall back onto the bed and sigh deeply. I’ve managed to make the two people who mean the most to me walk away from me in the timespan of 4 days.

And all that because someone on the other side of the world made me go crazy for her. This isn’t healthy, I can’t let my real life get influenced by something that was only real for one night and a morning.

I have to put a stop to this.

[bucketofchum]

I legit just fell asleep for 20 minutes and had a hyper-realistic dream that I was starting a possible budding cute possibly romantic thing with Simone Biles.

I was in a study room with a couple people (an older middle aged white woman (55-60) who was REALLY invested in her son’s relationship status and was upset that he just lost his girl – showed all of us his texts with her and she dumped him cuz he legit had a lewd website and was advertising himself and it was 100% his fault, but this lady was REALLY upset about it; there were probably two black guys? and maybe like a white girl and some Asian people, and me - and I’m just trying to do my work) and we had somehow eventually solved the mystery that this lady was The Murderer and was running this sort of black widow (and black widower?) scheme where she was trying to hook herself up with people and get their money and also hook her son up with people and get their money. idk it was weird. 

Anyhow, earlier in this dream, Simone had given me a pack of enormous crayons as a gift and I was??? So surprised?? cuz like 1) who gives me things and 2) she knew who I was?? okk. She is also best friends with Malia Obama, who, in this dream!verse, is also a smol gymnast and not 6 foot 1 like she is in real life (and looked a lot more like Sasha in this dream but even smoller). Anyhow, this verse, they are besties and almost always together and I’m just?? dumfounded okay. But it was a really random thing cuz like the whole interaction was like 3 seconds. “Hey, I heard it’s your birthday and you like art right? So I got you these crayons.” She hands them to me, and as Im just stammering there holding them in my hands, she and Malia are gone. I’m just…”did that really just happen”

So anyway later, I’m back at the study room - or a study room - and I’m working on a science project with…these crayons. They are freaking huge - like a single crayon is almost the length of my forearm with and the girth is a little thicker than my forearm. And I strip off the paper on the crayon and it’s got all these intricately shaped things carved into it and it looks like it’s like…a built in inkjet printer just…crayon shaped…idk I’m trying to figure this out when Simone comes in and is like “Hey whatcha doin?” or like “Hey how’re you?” and I’m so alarmed I have the dumbest response like “Oh yeah uh today is going great! Someone gave me these crayons, and–”

and she’s just interjects like “Yeah I got those for you”

and I’m nervous as hell and like “HAHAHHA YEAH! YOU DID. Thank you!!”

And she goes to show me this cool thing that they can do and goes to put the big crayon in the thing I was working on and pushes the whole set up out the window - weird things happen - and it comes back in, and she takes the crayon out and seems disappointed that whatever she wanted to happen didn’t happen. I say, “Yeah I’m still trying to figure that out” and now she seems a bit let down and awkward and she goes “Okay I’m just gonna head out now”

As she turns to head out, her body brushes against all my binders and papers and everything kinda goes flying and I’m so fucking embarrassed. She seems a little flustered too and offers to help, but it’s clear she’s got somewhere to be, so I assure her I’ve got it so she can dip.

I’m really pretty stressed out about all my papers and clipping out of order (it was a really really big complicated project I was working on, so I’m trying to concentrate on this thing), but Simone is still around and she tells me about her competitions and whatnot (she’s retired now in this verse I think - but like. Very recently. Like she just had a competition like 2 days ago and is now retired?? because she started to get these seizures.) I want to pay attention to what she’s saying but I can’t really focus because - GAH the papers and everything is ahhhh…! I have a very hard time concentrating on anything cuz I’m trying to both engage in conversation with her but my mind and eyes are at my mess of work and my ears are on her so I kinda just get neither done (like I could have given her my full attention or my work but nothing really worked out).

Eventually, she heads off and I’m left to sort myself out and regain composure.

Some time must had passed because I’m back to full concentration on my work. But as I’m working, I am vaguely mulling over what she was saying to me while I couldn’t pay attention. Out of the corner of my eye (and literally around the corner) - also because I could hear, I realise that Simone is just in the adjacent room that doesn’t really have a door so okay it’s the same room but it’s an inverted L shape  and I’m on the bottom leg of the L and she’s at the top. She’s standing to the right of the table, talking happily with a friend (not Malia haha) who is at the table working on writing some stuff, and I just watch her talk for a bit.

I probably watch her talk for only like 2-3 seconds before something looks a little wrong. She’s leaning forward and her eyes are unblinking. It almost looks like time has frozen and I’m trying to figure out what’s going on. My mind is trying to decide if she is having a seizure? (Didn’t she mention she was dealing with seizures now?) or if she is trying really hard to express something and can’t figure out how to say it. If I run over right now I can catch her before she falls and possibly injures herself IF she is having a seizure. BUT if she is not having a seizure and I run over and scoop her up, I would literally just die of social embarrassment cuz honestly can you imagine you’re in the middle of talking just fine and then out of no where someone zooms in and grabs you - that’d be fucking weird.

So all of those thoughts occur in…less than 1 second of real time. And finally I decide not to zip in like a fucking dumbass and embarrass myself to death. But once I make that decision I look up again and see her topple over. I run over but JUST too late to catch her and she just…thunk - faceflat into the ground. 

FUCKKKKkkk I should have caught her. I should have known it was a seizure - FUCK she TOLD me she was having seizures fuckkk fuck fuck fuck. ugh fuckk fuck fuck okay. I know that when people are having seizures you need to turn them around – stop. Pause time. She wasn’t seizing up - she just fainted. She literally just froze and fell over. This wasn’t going through my head but I just kinda recognised it on the spot? but I didn’t have the words come to me on the spot - usually the causes of fainting is a loss of blood pressure and thus a decrease of blood in the brain – so first, I turn her over. God, she’s so limp like a dead body I’m so fucking scared. She folds like a doll with the consistency of dough and I’m horrified. Her face is pale - like WHITE, and I straighten her neck and cradle her head first to make sure her neck is stabilised (I’ve had first responder training okay so this is kind of muscle memory). She looks better once her head is stabilised. I lift up her legs slightly so that blood can go back to her brain, and then…it finally occurs to me that I should tell someone to get help. The girl who was at the table talking with her had jumped up and ran into the other room in shock, but I tell her to go get help and she runs off.

[In retrospect while writing this, I realise I should not have asked the girl to call 911 because seizures/epilepsy/fainting spells, especially for people who have told you they have those tendencies experience them often and can recover from them fine, and unless there is clear damage, 911 i not necessary. But also, when I flipped her over, in this horrifying dreamverse, her head had shrunk to like fetal size and was basically folded into her neck so like???!! I think Dreamverse me did a good call about the 911 request for emergency service cuz that looked really really fucking bad and I was freaking HORRIFIED.

Oh wait I fucking forgot to mention okay.. when she fell, she looked SLAUGHTERED okay. So her right arm dislocated HORRIBLY at her shoulder and also at the elbow. The entire right wrist and thumb on that hand were also dislocated and some other fingers. I managed to pop everything back into place (horrified while doing so), all except her pinky finger and shoulder. God, I tried with the shoulder. It was a horror show okay I was very scared. Nevermind i take it back - I’m GLAD I had someone call 911 cuz that seemed serious.]

Anyhow, she is now laying on her back (which is not recommended for seizure cases but recall she is just fainted and not having a seizure), and I am at her legs/feet, kneeling with her legs resting on top of mine and I’m kind of rocking a little to facilitate gravitational blood flow. My mind is kinda all jumbled but at the same time it has reached a calm point because I know right now it’s just…waiting. Waiting for either help to arrive or for confirmation that Simone is okay, so I’m just sitting there quietly rocking.

Eventually Simone comes to, and I profusely apologise for letting her fall and explain the whole situation (probably too much explaining cuz I also explained to her my dilemma that eventually led to her falling face first smack into hard linoleum tile), but she seems to have a good laugh about it (I don’t), and we’re kinda just chatting and laughing now, her lying on her back and my chillin at her feet (I’ve moved it now her legs are kinda bent at the knees and her feet are on my hips) and we’re kinda having a decent time about it now, despite the weird situation. 

She suddenly slides back and props herself up on her elbows. Her colour has returned back to her skin and she looks relatively normal and her head is no longer creepy white fetus doll looking, and she seems okay.

So anyhow, she gets up (we’re both standing now) and I remember her shoulder and finger and ask if she’s okay. Yeah she’s perfectly fine. She popped them back in with no problem. I need to check to make sure cuz I saw how bad it looked and it certainly did not look like no problem, and I inspect her all over. Her finger…s??? she has like 3 amputated fingers? I never noticed this and I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before. her middle and ring finger on the her right hand are amputated at the first and second knuckle and her ring finger on her left hand is just missing the tip. Huh. I don’t make a comment, but I also notice she’s got a lot of scars on the underside her arms (now that her colour has come back to and scars are more visible) that look almost like scars on a whale’s body. I also make no comment.

Anyhow I make sure she’s okay, still super dubious and she assures me she is. I ask a dumb question that I know people who dislocate their shoulders a lot get (does that happen a lot? :/ are you sure you’re okay?) and she seems okay with my dumb questions. “Okay…” I’m kind of really awkward now and I tuck my hands in my pockets. I shrug my shoulders, still kinda awkwardly talking with her and start slinking off. She didn’t appear anywhere near as awkward as I felt then, so I guess that was a good sign.

And then someone called me and I woke up from the longest 20 minute nap I’ve ever had.