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crxss01 · 10 months

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— I Love You, Miles, But You’re Not Mine.

pairing ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ 42!miles morales x reader

summary ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ miles doesn't do dating so you have to settle for just being classmates in public and having extra benefits in private.

warnings ✧˖ ° angst, hurt/comfort, cursing, possessive miles, making out, mature themes, miles is bad at feelings and expressing them, cheating (not really, and not on reader: don't do this to people).

m. list, main m. list.

translations ✧࿓☾ muñeca: doll, bonito: handsome/pretty boy, nos vemos luego: see you later, mi princesa: my princess.

of course it had been a bad idea.

agreeing to have a no strings attached relationship with miles was the worst decision you had ever made in your life, you said to yourself that you wouldn't fall for him but you were just lying to yourself.

but the worst part was that you didn't regret accepting, even if the situation was breaking your heart little by little. you didn't even try to end it when you realized you were falling for him which was your second mistake.

you remember the first time miles noticed your feelings for him, something you would never forget about. it was four months ago...

your heart aching as you watched miles flirt with some girl from his class. smirking at her in a way that he used to smirk at you when you first met, sweet talking her like he used to sweet talk you, and calling her mami like he called you.

he still did all of those things with you, but it wasn't as usual anymore. everything changed since the first night, miles would only call you when he needed you and would be there if it was the other way around.

miles must have felt you staring because he looked your way and his gaze turned hard, it made shivers run down your spine. with an eye roll he nodded at the janitors closet, making sure that it wasn't obvious for the girl in front of him.

you nodded at him to let him know that you got the message and made your way there, after just standing outside of it to be slick about it you went inside, closing the door behind you and taking a deep breath in.

"don't let this be what i think it is..." you mumbled, closing your eyes.

after a few minutes, miles came in and locked the door. his stare was unreadable and you were scared of that. he definitely knew.

"you and me are not in a relationship." he went straight to the point, stating the obvious.

"okayyy..." you dragged out pretending to be oblivious. "i know that.”

"so why the fuck are you staring at my girl so hard like that, huh?" he asked. "i don't belong to anybody, so don't try that jealousy shit with me."

of all the things he said your brain only focused on two words. "your girl?"

"not yet, but she's pretty cute. my mom has been nagging me about getting a girlfriend so to stop that for a little while, i'll get one." he shrugged.

"what about me?" you asked confused, you didn't really know what your question was. what about not choosing you to pose as his girlfriend or what about the (sort of) relationship you two had? he once said he didn’t do dating so what was this?

unlucky for you, he only answered the first two.

"i don't want one my flings to meet my mom, and we can keep going with this." miles said like it was nothing. "i don't have feelings for that girl i just find her attractive."

the way he called you a fling hurt more than anything, but it was true that was what you were. just a fling, nothing more. it was sick, but it comforted you to know that he didn't have feelings for that other girl.

"okay." you nodded.

"so we clear on those feelings of yours?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

"yes."

"just yes?" he raised an eyebrow.

"yes, bonito."

"good." miles then slammed you against one of the walls of the closet, starting to kiss you. "then let's do what i wanted you here for, muñeca"

...the memory was not a nice one and you wished you could just forget about it, the girl and him weren't even together anymore.

they broke up after three months of dating, but the way he showed her off in public and the way he spoiled her was so real that you had doubts about him not having feelings for her at all. then again if he did had feelings for her he wouldn't have called you every other night to be with you.

you were considering ending it during those months that they were together but it was impossible because the words got stuck in your throat the moment you saw miles so your situation with him stayed the same.

but now you were ready, this would be the last time.

"what are you thinking about?" miles asked as he stood up from your bed, looking for his shirt and pants that now laid somewhere on the floor of your bedroom.

"i want to end this, miles." you said, sitting up and pulling the covers to your bra clad chest.

"mhm?" he hummed, not even turning to you and pulling his pants on.

"i can't do this anymore." you said, your eyes filling with tears.

"why?" he finally turned to you, and his eyes had something that you couldn't put your finger on which was not surprising considering miles was not someone who was easy to read.

"you hurt me, this—" you emphasized, tears cascading down your cheeks. "—this hurts me. you know how i feel about you yet you had made no attempt to end it when you clearly told me that you would end it the moment you noticed any romantic feelings from me."

"i did say that." he confirmed, acting nonchalant.

"then why haven't you? this feelings grow stronger the longer we stay together like this, you also said that." you stood up from the bed, now the tears were from anger more than sadness.

"you were a good lay, i didn't want to leave you 'cause of that."

you didn't know what came over you but you walked over to him and slapped him, hard.

"get out." you said, wiping your tears. you were not about to cry any more for him at least not in front of him.

"alright." miles simply said and grabbed his shirt off the floor along with his shoes, leaving your bedroom through the open window.

"don't ever come back!" you yelled after him and slammed the window shut, locking it.

you threw yourself on your bed, grabbing a pillow and crying into it..

spring break came to an end and you couldn't be more miserable, of course you couldn't be happy (or at least in peace). you just had to see his stupid, arrogant and handsome face at school.

"hey, gorgeous." you smiled, turning to marcos, one of the guys from your class.

"hey, marquitos." you said back.

"you okay? you look a little off." he showed concern.

this is what you appreciated about him even though you hadn't spoke much like you two did before you got involved with miles, marcos still cared for you. he was a sweet boy, rich and a total nerd which got him to get picked on sometimes and one of those times you defended him and after that you had become fast friends but it has been a while since you last spoke to each other.

"i have missed you." he admitted when you didn't answer.

"same." you agreed, in reality you haven't given him much thought. those were occupied with someone else.

"let's hang out this week or weekend, like we used to." he offered.

"absolutely." you agreed again, wanting something to distract you from thinking about miles. "how is that confession coming on?" you asked him when the bell rung and you both started to make your way to class.

"horrible, i don't know how to confess in a way that doesn't sound corny." marcos lamented. "i'm pretty sure she's going to reject me anyway, you know how she is."

"practice on me, i will let you know if it's corny or not." you suggested.

"that's actually a good idea." marcos nodded, excited. he was like a child like that. "maybe during lunch? i kinda don't want the whole class to hear me practicing how to confess to someone."

you laughed at that which also made him laugh as you both walked in through the door to class. your laughter died down the moment your eyes met the pair that belonged to miles, he had a hard look on his face, one you weren't familiar with.

"come on, let's sit together." marcos, pulled you to the two seats table at the far end of the room right next to where miles was sitting.

you did your best to ignore him even though you felt like he stared at you a couple of times but you assumed that was just wishful thinking.

you couldn't even remember the last time you actually had fun in a class, you were really glad that you were back to talking with marco and grateful that you two had all the same classes.

"this question is so stupid, listen.." he went on to read the question but the way he said was so not funny that it made you laugh.

"can you two stop? i'm trying to concentrate." the sudden harsh voice made you jump and you turned in your seat, looking at miles who was glaring at you and marcos.

"sorry, man." marcos apologized. "my bad."

"yeah, your bad." miles scoffed.

marcos put his hands up on defense and looked at you, his eyes showed that he was trying not to laugh and it made you smile.

after the first class all others went the same way with marcos walking with you to class like you two used to and making you laugh your ass off the only exception was that miles wasn't there to tell you both to keep it down since you only had the first class with him.

"no, but like seriously. she actually said that?" marcos asked for the fifth time, sitting next to you in the spot that you both liked to call the f.h.b.b.v.a.o, for the hottest bitches in brooklyn visions academy only. it was located in a deserted area and that's what marcos and you loved about it.

"yeah, she did." you nodded.

"i still can't believe that."

"me neither, but you know what they say." you shrugged.

"gotta expect the unexpected." you said at the same time then let out a chuckle at that.

"so, now that we are here." marcos clapped his hands together. "hear my confession out."

"it better be good." you pointed at him with your fork.

"hey! i have you here for constructive criticism, don't insult it before i even start." marcos defended himself.

"ok, ok." you put your hands up in defense.

"okay, listen." he took a deep breath, collecting himself. "i have liked you for sometime, and i have been meaning to tell you this but you were just so difficult to approach. i like everything you do, the way you laugh, the way you smile, your jokes even though they are terrible—"

"are you trying to confess or push her away?" you stopped him. "do better."

"but how?" marcos groaned, letting his head fall back.

"like this," you straighten up. "i like you and i honestly think you knew that because of the way i look at you," you laughed, yeah maybe he didn't need to add that. "the point is that i was wondering if you wanted to go out with me sometime?"

"that's perfect!"

"nah, it's really not." miles' voice cut in and you turned your head to the side to throw a glare at the boy.

"what do you want?" you snapped at him.

miles didn't answer instead he took hold of your elbow and pulled you up from where you were sitting, grabbing the back of your neck in his hand and pulling your face closer to his until your lips connected.

for a moment you got lost in the kiss, having missed miles for the rest of the spring break. the taste of his lips was a sweet one, demonstrating false innocence and giving hopefulness to anyone who got a taste of them but you knew better. the mouth might be sweet, but what came out of it was nothing but bitter.

then you snapped out of it and pushed him away, trying to shake your arm out of his grip on it but it was futile. marcos looked back and forth between you and miles with wide eyes.

"let go of me, you have let it be known really clear what i was to you already." you told him.

"leave." miles told your friend. "now." he added when marcos didn't attempt to move.

"it's okay, marquitos." you assured him. "you can go."

the boy looked skeptical but he nodded and left, leaving you alone with miles.

"so what do you want?" you asked him. "came to repeat what you said?"

"i know what i said, mami." his eyes now revealed guilt a look you have only seen once before, after he had cursed out his best friend ganke when the boy had found you in a compromising position in their dorm. "and i'm sorry, i really do. i have just been overwhelmed with this feelings and i didn't know what to do."

"what feelings? the ones you had when you told me i was just a good lay?"

"no, i.." miles sighed. "i regret saying that more than anything, i just don't know how to handle what i feel for you. i even got that fake girlfriend to see if i could forget about you, but it was impossible and she could see through me and immediately knew i was just trying to get over someone but she was also doing the same so she didn't say anything. you are on my mind twenty four/seven, when i see a couple all i think about is how we would look like in their place. when i see you smile, i think that you are the most beautiful girl in this world. when i hear you laugh, i think that it is the most beautiful sound in this earth. when i see you too close with someone else, i think about how i should be in their place. when i'm not with you, i long to be with you. when we argued and i saw those tears running down your face it felt like the whole world was coming down and that it was my fault, i felt like i didn't deserve you. you are too good for me so i pushed you away."

through the whole speech you stood there quietly, your brain processing every single word he just said. the confession was like something out of a movie and so not what you expected, miles morales opened up to you and you still couldn't believe it.

the fact that the fake ex girlfriend knew of his situation with you baffled you, all this time you had felt horrible for being the side piece but she had been aware and had been okay with it.

"but i kept thinking about the last thing so much that i spoke to my mom about it. she told me that the only way i wouldn't deserve you is if i don't admit the way i wronged you and apologized for it because according to her i deserve the world. and in my books, you are the world." miles let go of your elbow and grabbed your face in his hands. "can you give me a chance? i would do anything for you to forgive me."

"i didn't deserve that." you finally spoke up.

your emotions were all over the place, you felt excitement, anger, sadness, and fear. scared of what you might decide if he kept insisting about you two being together.

"i know, and i'm willing to wait for you. what i feel for you is something i have never felt for anyone and if you take forever deciding if you want to give me a chance then i will wait for you forever." miles wiped a tear that escaped you eye away with his thumb. "i never want to see you cry for me again."

"yeah, i need time." you nodded. "i can't do this right now." you said, you weren't in your right mind to answer his question. your thoughts were plagued with what he said to you that night, but the confession was making you consider. "just give me this week to think, and it will be better if you keep your distance."

"alright, i can do that." miles nodded, then looked deep in thought before speaking again. "so what was that between you and marquitos?" he said the nickname with disgust.

"don't start," you glared at him, your face still in his hands. "i was just teaching him how to confess properly."

"mmh." he hummed, then moved on of his hands to place a kiss on your cheek. "talk to you next monday then?"

"yeah," you nodded.

"just yeah?" he raised an eyebrow.

"don't push it."

miles smiled and it surprised you since it wasn't a smirk. his smiles were rare and they were mostly reserved for his mom, you knew that because sometimes she would call when he was with you and he answered with a smile on his face each time, so it being directed to you had you feeling butterflies for him all over again.

"nos vemos luego, muñeca." he placed one final kiss on your cheek before walking away.

you watched him go and noticed how there was a little hop to his steps which made you smile, a hand coming up to touch your cheek where he had kissed you.

this type of affection was unusual from him, he only ever kissed your lips never anywhere else. it made your smile even bigger, your decision had been made the moment he kissed your cheek, but you still wanted time in case you changed your mind.

the days went by quickly and suddenly it was monday again. you were nervous because what if you approached miles and he didn't want anything with you anymore? maybe you should wait for him to approach you?

"just go to him." marcos told you, the boy had demanded to know everything between you and miles after your encounter in front of him.

"but what if he laughs right on my face and says it was all a big joke? you do know he doesn't do dates and stuff." you reminded marcos.

"didn't he date that one girl from his class?" marcos asked, he clearly knew the answer to that question.

"that was different, he said that it was—" you stopped talking, remembering the real reason.

"exactly. it was all to forget you but look at that, he couldn't and wants you so..." he pointed across the cafeteria to where miles was sitting, airpods in and doing something on a notebook, probably sketching.

"no." you shook your head. "i can't do this." your head came down on the table, forehead hitting it way too hard and you immediately picked your head back up holding onto your forehead. "ouch, that hurts."

"good, crazy ass." marcos shook his head and pushed his seat back. "i'll fix this thing."

"how?"

your eyes widened when you saw your friend making his way to the table where miles was, you wanted nothing more than for the earth to open up and swallow you whole. what is this boy thinking?

the two of them exchanged a few words and marcos pointed at you making miles turn his head in your direction and you waved awkwardly, maybe you should get this done now.

miles nodded at whatever marcos told him, picking his stuff up and standing, making his way to you.

"hey, mi princesa." he said, taking a seat next to you.

marcos gave you a thumbs up and sat on the table where miles had been.

"hey," you said back. "so, obviously i made a decision."

"what did you decide?" his eyes looked hopeful and you were so glad he had dropped that cold front he always put in-front of everyone, his unreadable eyes were not unreadable anymore at least not to you.

"i want to give a relationship with you a try." you spoke after a moment. "but i want to take things slow, like maybe get to know you more. i realized that i don't really know a lot about your personal life."

"of course, anything you want. i'll tell you everything." the smile on his face was enough to lighten up your day, a matching one making its way onto your face. "so how about we go on a date after school?"

"we don't have permission to go out." you told him.

"then we escape, i just want to have a nice afternoon with my girl. they can't punish us for that." he shrugged.

you laughed, you should've expected that offer. "of course."

"is it too early to kiss you?"

"not on the first date." you shook your head putting on a fake serious face. "maybe on the twentieth one."

"i'll wait for the hundredth one if necessary."

you smiled softly, you loved how much effort he was putting into this even though he had never had a serious relationship before.

"i can kiss your cheek though, right?"

you bursted out laughing and he took that opportunity to grab you and leave multiple kissed on your cheek.

"i like you so much..." he said as he continued to attack your cheek.

"i like you a lot too." you said back, trying to push him away even though you actually didn't want the moment to end.

"not more than i do." he argued, placing his forehead on top of your own.

"i fell first, though. so i think i like you more."

"you did fall first, but i fell harder so i win.”

taglist: @anikaluv @janaeby @queerponcho @laylasbunbunny @onginlove @all444miles @banqnaz @fiannee @sp1dercunt

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ reblogs are really appreciated!

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yoongiseesawmp3 · 4 months

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ceilings - san

summary: pe teacher!san x single mom!reader. your kid is finally ready to go to school, and you're spiraling. thankfully, you find friendship with your kid's teacher and she becomes determined to become your best friend. simultaneously, she tries to set you up with the cute pe teacher, but you know him from somewhere deep within your past. can the truth come out without jeopardizing your future?

word count: 12.4k

warnings: afab reader so gendered terms, mentions of accidental pregnancy

masterlist / part two

"violet, come on, we're gonna be late!" you shout to your daughter. it's her first day of kindergarten, her first day of real school, and you're so close to tears. you want to cry because your baby is growing up, because you won't get to cart your little mini me around with you everywhere now, because you're so stressed about getting her to school on time. it's been a rough morning, and your daughter taking her sweet time is not helping.

"i'm almost ready!" she shouts back from the bathroom, and you suppress a groan. what does a five year old have to primp for?

"one more minute and i'm dragging you to the car!" you threaten lightheartedly, knowing she'll only take it to mean she has a minute before you go and help her.

"i'm done," she says proudly as she appears in the doorway to the kitchen. hands on her hips she asks, "how do i look?"

"ridiculous," you laugh. "is that my shirt?"

"and my belt!" she defends herself. "i thought it was cute."

"it is cute, baby, but maybe you should wear something more comfortable for the first day?" you offer. you shuffle over to the laundry basket you left on the stairs and dig around for an outfit, handing your stubborn daughter some jeans and a sweater. "just wear something comfy today, and later this week you can dress silly."

"i wasn't dressed silly, i was dressed like you," violet mumbles, and you roll your eyes. your daughter definitely got your sass, and your stubbornness, but the resemblance kind of stops there. she's a spitting image of her father, a constant reminder of the mistake you made when you were younger. but it wasn't really a mistake, was it? if it brought you the one thing that's made you happier than anything before, it wasn't a mistake at all. violet was the best thing that ever happened to you, and again, the waterworks threaten to fall as you think about dropping her off for her first day of school. a day, you realize, you're late for.

"c'mon sugar, we gotta go!" you shout, grabbing her hello kitty backpack. "i've got your stuff, meet me in the car!"

you work close enough to violet's school that you can be one of those annoying carpool parents swarming the school grounds every day. while violet may hate it, you're so excited for all the memories that will come from these trips to and from school each day. like today, you'll always remember how violet started crying a few minutes down the road, claiming she didn't want to go to school because she didn't want to eat school lunch.

"it's not that bad, vi." you tell her as you peek at her through the rearview. "i remember loving some days of school lunch so much i would always go, even if i was sick."

"but you only liked some days," she sniffed. "what if i don't like any of the days?"

"then i'll pack you a lunch," you assure her. "just try it this week, every day, because some days will be better than others. then if you don't like any of it i'll start making your lunch. how does that sound?"

"okay," she nods, her sad little sniffles clearing up. "thank you mommy."

"we're almost there," you say quietly, more to yourself than to your daughter. "are you excited, sugar?"

"kinda," she admits. "i'm excited to see miss jen!"

"she's gonna be a great teacher," you agree. "you're gonna learn so much, and you're gonna have so much fun with her and all the friends you're gonna make. right?"

violet nods again, and you're satisfied for now. you're sure your baby is alright to go off to school for the first time, at least for the time being. surely there will be another thing to freak about later in the day, but for now you need to worry about navigating this carpool line. a man in workout clothes with a haggard looking traffic vest is directing traffic, and while you pass him, you feel your heart skip a beat.

it can't be him, right? there's no way he works here. it can't be. you keep driving, following the cones until you pull up to the sidewalk and a very kind looking teacher approaches your car with a soft smile.

"good morning!" he chirps. "i'm mr. kang, the librarian," he says as he stoops to peer through your window. his gaze goes to the backseat, asking violet, "are you ready for the best day ever?"

she nods shyly, and you watch as she undoes her car seat and slides out of the car with her too big book bag engulfing her frame as she walks away. you shout her name and she turns, a nervous look on her face.

"have a great day, my love!" you blow her a kiss for good measure, and you carry the way she smiles proudly with you for the rest of the day. the man in the traffic vest is all but forgotten, but he watches from afar in confusion. was he seeing things, or were you really here dropping off a kid? a kid, in fact, who looked exactly like he did at that age. weird, he thinks, but he shakes it off and continues directing traffic, wondering how he could find a way to introduce himself over the next few days.

when you were younger, your parents always supported you academically, but they were never involved with the school itself. pta meetings were not their thing, and it was a struggle getting them to take off work for a parent/teacher conference. you had decided early on that you would be one of those involved parents, one that knew your kid's teacher well and participated in room mom activities. you were texting violet's teacher last night, actually, asking if there was anything you could bring to help celebrate the first week, and she was eager to have the help.

she'd asked you to bring lollipops, so on thursday afternoon you're searching for a parking spot before school lets out. you were going to drop the goodies off at violet's classroom and help jen with the goody bags during dismissal, quick and easy. except, an intimidating figure walking toward your car may not make this process as easy as you'd have hoped.

san saw your car pull up and immediately stepped out into the parking lot. as the unofficial carpool guardian, one of his daily jobs is stopping parents who try to cheat the system by taking up faculty spots so they can be first in line. san didn't know it was you or he would've approached with a different demeanor, but today was rough. he had at least two criers per class and one kid who ran so hard after lunch he puked outside san's office. he wasn't in the mood to deal with a privileged parent, so he lets out a deep sigh as he approaches your now open window.

"ma'am you can't park here-" he starts, but as soon as his eyes meet yours he chokes on his words. "y/n?"

"hi san," you smile shyly, heartbeat racing. "so i can't park here? there weren't any guest spots out front, and i need to take something to vi's class-"

"vi?" san questions, and you let out a deep sigh of your own.

"violet," you tell him. "my..my daughter."

"i thought that was you the other day," san admits, and you nod in confirmation. "well, um, if you're just coming to drop something off, you're all good, you can leave your car-"

"oh really? i can move, it's no problem-"

"no, no, don't worry about it-"

"are you sure?" you ask, finally stopping the awkward back and forth. "you won't tattle?"

"pinky promise," san laughs, holding your door for your as you get out. "but i'd sneak out before carpool starts up if i were you, it'll be hard to pull out once the lot fills up."

"got it," you nod graciously, slipping your hand into the backseat to grab the bag of candy. san is still standing there, so you clear your throat and try to leave. "well, thanks for letting me-"

"no worries-"

"it was good seeing you-"

"yeah, yeah..." san trails off. once you're a few feet away he calls your name. you turn to see what he needs, and he thinks about it before shrugging. "never mind," he says. "it was nice to see you."

"bye san," you manage to get out before you turn the corner, hands sweaty and heart doing funny flips in your chest.

you hadn't told violet about your visit, so when jen lets you into the room you hear an excited squeal followed by a pair of small arms wrapped around your legs. violet looks up at you proudly, a spot of something on her cheek. you forget sometimes, just how much she looks like san, but your exchange outside has him fresh on the brain. she has his smile. you shake the thoughts from your head and try to take a step, but violet won't budge.

"hey sugar," you laugh, ruffling her hair with your free hand. "go back to your seat, school's not over yet."

"but-"

"violet, do you want to show your mom where to put the bags she brought?" jen offers, and you send her a thankful look. violet tugs on your hand, bringing you over to the "treasure box" which is really just a filing cabinet jen must have filled with candy and toys. violet shows you each drawer, and you make her look away as you place the candy in it's appropriate drawer so it won't ruin the surprise for now. satisfied with her work, violet goes back to her seat as the bell rings for dismissal. you organize some of the other things you brought on jen's desk as she goes over reminders for the class, and then the first few rounds of students start leaving.

"thanks for bringing all this," jen says as she joins you.

"do you need help putting them together?" you ask, and she thinks for a moment.

"no, i don't want to keep you," she starts.

"well, i think i'm stuck for a while anyway," you inform her. "i had to park in a faculty spot, and carpool-"

"oh yeah, you're definitely stuck," jen laughs. "let me get everything set up, and then you can start while i help the rest of the kids leave, if you don't mind?"

"not at all!" you assure her, looking out to find violet watching you both like a hawk. "do you think we'll need another set of hands though?" jen follows your gaze and laughs before waving violet over. the three of you get everything set up, and you ask violet about her day as jen organizes the next group of kids for bus call.

"it was good!" violet says happily. "i liked lunch today."

"what did they have?"

"chicken sammiches," she says, and you laugh.

"sandwiches, baby," you tell her. "sammiches is a me and you word, but some people may not know what that means."

"i like chicken sandwiches and chicken sammiches," she nods. "and then we had pe and a boy in my class threw up. he had pizza."

"gross," you crinkle your nose. "you liked pe though?"

"yeah, it was fun!" violet goes off on a tangent about all the games, and jen rejoins you to help finish the bags. the three of you fall into comfortable conversation with violet as the life of the party. you like jen, you find yourself thinking. you hope it's not weird to be friends with your kid's teacher, because you could really use one here. you're lost in that thought, so you don't notice when someone appears in the doorway.

"mr. choi!" violet chirps, abandoning her task and rushing to meet him. never met a stranger, your child, because she's tugging his hand and bringing him over to you. "this is mommy."

"that's not her name though, is it violet?" jen asks, ever the teacher.

"y/n," san nods, and you don't miss the way jen looks from you to san to violet and back again. "did you get tricked into staying late?"

"no, i offered," you reply. "but i didn't have a choice, i didn't listen to your advice and couldn't leave before carpool started."

"you're all good now," he says, holding up his reflective vest all crumpled in his big hand. "just sent the last kid home."

"good to know," you nod. "vi, where's your stuff? we'll leave soon."

"no!" she whines. "i don't wanna leave!"

"don't you want a snack though?" you tempt her, and that sends the mini menace into motion.

"to what do i owe the pleasure of you stinking up my classroom, choi?" jen asks.

"i wanted to talk to you about the kid that threw up today," he says, and you must look at him confused because he asks you if anything's wrong.

"are you the pe teacher here?"

"yep," he answers. "i didn't know this was your violet," he says, nodding his head toward your kid. "she's a sweetheart. ball of energy too."

"you're telling me," you smile softly. violet walks over then, informing you that she's ready to go. you ask jen if there's anything else you can do, but she insists on you taking violet home.

"you've helped enough, believe me," jen tells you. "i'll see you tomorrow violet!"

"bye miss jen!" violet says with a smile. "bye mr. choi! i hope no one pukes on you tomorrow!"

jen waits for you and your kid to be far enough down the hall before she asks calmly. "so. how do you know y/n?"

"we, uh, we go way back," san says. "went to school together, college, all that."

"oh, so you like, really know her," jen says, a plan brewing in her head. she saw the way san looked at you. she also knows you're single. "you didn't know her kid went here?"

"didn't know she had a kid at all," san shakes his head, and he seems to get lost in a thought before he remembers what he came here for. "anyway, this kid today, you gotta tell him not to eat so much before pe..."

you and san didn't grow up together, exactly, but you have known him since high school. you floated around similar groups of friends, so you hung out regularly without ever getting too close. it wasn't until college that you actually became friends. you both went to a local school, at least as local as you can get for your small town. living in a city all by yourself was intimidating, but you weren't worried about not making friends. you knew they would come.

the day of your orientation, san saw you sitting by yourself in the auditorium and immediately recognized you. he brushed off his sweaty hands before walking over and softly calling your name. when you registered who he was, you smiled and invited him to sit next to you. both happy to see a familiar face, you spent the rest of orientation attached at the hip. in fact, you spent the rest of your time at school like that. san was your best friend, nothing more. he didn't always feel that way, but he did a good job of hiding his feelings. he was able to hide how he felt about you all the way up to the final semester of your senior year.

you were thriving, one of those seniors itching to finish school and get out into the real world. you knew you were just months away from a successful career, and you wouldn't let anything get in your way. you liked that you didn't know what was coming next or where you would end up after graduation. the prospect of moving to a new city, hell, maybe a new country, was exciting. this restlessness is what made san speak up. he was ready to graduate too, sure, but he was ready to get out of the city. san always wanted to be a teacher, and he already had offers all across the state, but the only job he cared about was in his hometown. it's where he wanted to be, and he knew that if he didn't tell you how he felt now, he may never get the chance. he wanted you to know so he could at least have a chance with you, even for a little while.

so he confessed, one night early in the semester. he was walking you home, his dorm only a few doors down from yours. at the door to your dorm he pulled you into a hug, which was normal for him. san was always a touchy friend, but what he said as he pulled away still bounces around in your head.

"y/n, i think i'm in love with you," he said earnestly. you looked in his eyes, trying to find the beginnings of a smile, some hint of a secret, that this was a joke. but he was serious. when you didn't say anything he shrugged, stepped away, and added, "i just wanted you to know."

you still don't know if it was shock or fear that kept you from saying anything that night, from calling his name and pulling him back in. but you didn't say anything then, you didn't say anything for months. san pretended like it never happened, and you just went along.

it didn't come up again until the going away party at the end of the year. school was over, finals done, and graduation was days away. everyone wanted to celebrate the past four years and freak out over what was next, all sharing where they were going and how scared they were. san was moving back home to be a teacher and wasn't scared at all. you were leaving for a bigger and better city the day after graduation and you were terrified.

later, san pulled you to the side and asked if you were ok. you knew he was referring to the job stuff, but you had other things on your mind. you were a little tipsy, so you decide that's why you leaned in and kissed him. it was quick, soft, barely a kiss, but you did it. you kissed him and pulled back faster than san could think, his eyes still closed when you parted and said, "i just wanted to know what it would feel like."

you were able to avoid him for the rest of the party, enjoying your last few hours with some of your best friends. you had an early morning, so you stopped drinking before everyone else and found yourself as a designated walker at the end of the night. you and san were elected to walk a few friends back to their dorms, dropping them off as you passed each building on your own walk home. inevitably, you were left alone with san at your door like that night months ago. san looked like he wanted to say something, and you didn't want him to leave, so instead of separating at the door you invited him in.

you'll never forget that night, and neither will san. but with your paths parting in a few days, you thought it would be something you could move on from eventually. a few weeks later, in your new city, at the perfect job, you found out you were pregnant. it hurt, the decision to not tell san, but the thought of stopping your life before it even started hurt more. you figured you would never see san again, or that you could at least keep the kid a secret if you ever hung out with your college friends again. you never thought that you'd somehow end up moving your daughter to the neighborhood where san grew up, or that the great school you fought to enroll her in could possibly be where san currently worked. but that's life, isn't it? or fate. or maybe just dumb luck. whatever it was, the universe was trying to get you to tell the truth and you're not sure you're ready to do that. to yourself, to violet, or to san.

san can't stop thinking about you. he tries so hard to catch a glimpse of you during carpool, but he's too busy focusing on a million other things and never manages to find you. he tries to think about how he could use violet to talk to you, like sending a note home with her, but that's inappropriate. he needs to see you again, though. that's when he gets an idea.

you and jen have become genuine friends, which has made things confusing for violet only because she treats jen like her teacher in casual settings. you met up for dinner the other night and violet raised her hand to ask jen a question, so hopefully she'll get used to it. san knows you two are close, and he knows if he asks jen about you she'll tell him whatever he wants to know.

at lunch one day he finds jen in the teacher's lounge and motions to the empty seat at her table. she lets him sit, but warns, "wooyoung saved the other seats for himself, so leave now if you want to."

wooyoung, one of the third grade teachers, was actually one of san's best friends. he's a hand full, yes, but fiercely loyal and caring. san doesn't necessarily want him to hear the conversation he wanted to have with jen, but oh well. as soon as san has that thought, wooyoung is bursting through the door with a stack of plastic containers from the lunchroom in his arms.

"m'lady," he nods to jen as he passes her a container. he looks to san and asks, "you want one bro?"

"what's in it?" san asks skeptically, and wooyoung shows off a stack of chicken sandwiches. "seriously?"

"hey, they're really good," jen pipes up. "the kids are lucky they get to eat these."

"how did you get so many?" san asks wooyoung as he takes a sandwich anyway.

"flirted with the lunch ladies."

"course you did," jen rolls her eyes, taking a bite of the sandwich. she chuckles to herself, and then shares, "you know, there's a kid in my class who calls these sammiches? no matter how many times you correct her, she won't say anything else. she told me this morning she didn't want to come to school, but she did because it was sammich day."

that's violet. san knows it is. he heard a snippet of your conversation in jen's classroom weeks ago, but he also knows he's heard violet say something similar when she comes to the gym. she loves those sandwiches, and san must admit, now that he's tried one he gets the hype. this is his shot though, he thinks to himself. he clears his throat and asks, "that's y/n's girl right?"

"who's y/n?" wooyoung asks, and jen responds, "san's girlfriend."

"no she's not," san says quickly. "she's kidding."

"you like her though?" wooyoung smirks, and san shakes his head.

"i-it's not like that," san explains. "i knew her a long time ago, and haven't seen her for a few years. that's all."

"so what about her?" jen asks.

"what do you mean?"

"well you brought her up," jen laughs. "you want me to tell her you asked about her? that feels very elementary of you, san."

"no, no, i was just, uh," san racks his brain for a response, "um, she's your room mom right? i may need to talk to her, for um, uh, field day."

"sure," jen nods. "i can give you her number, if you don't have it?"

"yeah, yeah," san nods too, "sure, if you think that'll be ok. i mean, i just needed to ask something, really quick, but, um, sure, yeah."

"if you really need to talk to her, she's coming in tomorrow i think," jen says, checking her phone. "yeah, tomorrow is violet's birthday, so y/n is bringing cupcakes at lunch. you can just stop by my class table and ask her whatever you need to ask her."

"oh, cool, great," san nods. wooyoung and jen share a quiet laugh, noticing that san seems like a bobblehead nodding so nervously. "yeah, tomorrow. lunch tomorrow. i'll be here."

you're running late. it's your kid's frickin birthday and you're late. you wanted to be supermom, make cupcakes from scratch, but work has been crazy on top of all the prep for violet's party, and you're just one woman. you can't do all of this by yourself, and it's times like these that you wish...no. that's not where you're going to let your mind wander today. today is all about violet, so as you rush out of the grocery store, you handle the store bought cupcakes with intense care. you can't be late and show up with smushed cupcakes.

thankfully this town is small enough that everything is within spitting distance, so you arrive at violet's school with just a few minutes left in her lunch. you hurry through the check in, rushing off to where you hope the lunchroom is. it would be just your luck to get lost right now, but you let out a breath of relief when you turn the corner and see the cafeteria ahead. you have to pause at the door to look for her class, and you hold back a sob when you see one very broad shouldered man sitting next to your beautiful daughter. you manage to walk up without violet seeing you, but at the sound of your footsteps, san turns. he smiles at you softly and he looks so much like violet it hurts. your eyes drift to your daughter, who's noticed you now and bounces in her seat.

"hey birthday girl," you say meekly, clearing your throat before you speak again. "how's your day been?"

"good!" violet smiles, showing you a half eaten vanilla cupcake with purple icing. "mr. choi brought me birthday cake!"

"aw, that's sweet," you say, looking to san. he's staring at you intensely as you ask, "did you tell him thank you?"

"i did!" violet confirms, but she turns to san and repeats, "thank you, it was yummy."

"do you have room for another?" you ask her, holding up the cupcakes you brought. violet already looks ready to bounce off the walls, so you'll have to apologize to jen later, but you ask if she wants to help pass out cupcakes to her friends. you hold the containers as she carefully hands out the treats, and you're pleased to know there were plenty of cupcakes for everyone. actually, there's some left over, so you start packing them up to take home but violet stops you.

"mommy, we need to give mr. choi one," she tells you, and you look to san sheepishly. "and there's one for you too, mommy!"

"i guess we're having cupcakes," you chuckle with san, offering him one of the last two cupcakes. "vi, can i take your spot?" she nods eagerly, letting you sit on the hilariously tiny lunch chair. you struggle balancing on it and look up to see san watching, trying not to laugh. violet is oblivious though, icing smeared all over her face as she talks to her friend across the table. "hey, no laughing. it's been a long day."

"sorry," san says, the remnants of a smile still on his face. "you doing alright?"

"i'm fine," you sigh slightly. you look at san again, really look at him, and you feel your heart constrict. "thank you for bringing her a cupcake."

"oh, sure," san says. "i didn't want to overstep, but jen told me yesterday, and i figured violet could at least take it home, but when i got here and didn't see, uh...you weren't here-"

"you can say it, i was late to my own kid's birthday," you laugh, rubbing your hand over your face. san finds himself staring at your fingers and something pops into his head.

"and again i ask, you doing alright?" he laughs with you. "being a parent must be hard."

"it has its bad days," you admit. "but for every bad day there's hundreds of good ones, so it makes the whole single parenting thing a little easier."

there it is. single. san looks down to your hands again, and has to hide his satisfied smirk. there's no ring.

"so, what-" san starts to ask, but the bell dings and the cafeteria erupts in even more sound. students talking, teachers yelling, chairs scraping as everyone is set in motion. jen walks over then, smiling when she sees you and san sat so close together. she waves hello before calling for her class, and you give violet a big squeezey hug and a kiss on the forehead before she takes her food and runs off. san watches you watching violet, and now it's his turn for his heart to twist. he's missed you. a lot.

"i guess i better go," you say as you gather all of the cupcake trash. san covers his hands over yours, stilling your movements and your heart, and says, "let me, i'll clean up."

"th-thank you san," you say shyly, and he waves you off. he can feel your eyes on him as he walks to the trash cans, and he can't help it, when he turns around he pulls a face that used to always make you laugh. his success rate is still high, because a beautiful giggle appears from deep within your chest, and then san is standing back in front of you. you know him, and you know there's something he wants to say, so you ask, "are you doing alright?"

"i'm fine," he nods, and you playfully push his shoulder. he smiles as he goes on, "actually, i was thinking about it, and i'll need your new number. for field day purposes, of course."

"oh," you breathe. "oh, right. room mom stuff. um, well unless you deleted my contact info, my number is the same."

"oh."

"yeah."

"right, then i guess i'm good," san says, looking around for any last bits of trash. "always good seeing you, y/n. tell violet happy birthday again from me."

"will do," you squeak out, calling out your thanks to him one last time as he walks away. you're left in the now silent lunchroom, heart and mind racing.

"i'm just saying, you and san would make a cute couple," jen repeats for what feels like the millionth time today. she's come over to your house early to help set up violet's birthday party, and you're thankful for the help but wishing the set up was less obvious. "you already know each other, so it's not like you'd have to go through that awkward dating phase-"

"did we put balloons on the mailbox already?" you cut through her words, grabbing a couple pink and purple balloons from the pile on the table. "i'll do that now, so people know which house it is. if vi wakes up, tell her i'll make birthday pancakes as soon as i'm done."

"will do," jen salutes you, taking the remaining balloons into the living room. "i'll tack these to the ceiling or something."

"please don't!" you call out before you shut the door, and you take a deep breath when you're outside alone. you don't know how to make jen stop talking about san, and it's draining. you've tried changing the subject and she always finds a way to bring san back into it. she means well, you know that. but what she doesn't know is that everything she says about san just rubs salt in the wound you inflicted on yourself, and it's getting harder to ignore. you're either going to snap and tell her to shut up, or you're going to snap and admit to what you've been hiding. either option isn't ideal, so fingers crossed violet wakes up soon and you can use her as a buffer.

tying the balloons to your mailbox ended up being more of an ordeal than you thought, so it takes you a while to trudge back into the house. you're tired already and the party hasn't started yet. you're making another cup of coffee when you realize the house is quiet, no sounds of jen and no sounds of vi. you let the coffee pot run as you walk around in search of the girls, and you hear a faint noise coming from the backyard. a peek through the window shows jen and violet running streamers from the back porch to vi's playset, and your heart warms. while they're outside, you get to work on the birthday pancakes in peace. you're almost done with them when you get a call, groaning to yourself thinking it's a parent calling about the party. you don't check the name before you answer, letting out a perfectly nice, "hello?"

"y/n, hi," san says on the other line. "is this a bad time?"

"um, n-no," you stammer, "it's um, no, i can talk. just for a minute."

"if you're busy i can call back-"

"no, san, go ahead," you insist. "just be warned i'm making pancakes, so i am a little distracted."

"oh yeah, you used to suck at those," san teases, and for a moment you're thrown back to college. you remember san staying over at your dorm, claiming he was too drunk to walk the fifteen steps down the hall. you let him crash on your floor, and he woke up to an awful hangover and the sound of you cursing over your batch of blackened pancakes. trying to be nice, san tried one anyway. you'll never forget the way you both belly laughed after he lied and said they were good with a look of fear in his eyes. later he admitted he'd never had something so bad, and you swore to never make pancakes again. san obviously remembers, because he asks, "what made you stop the pancake ban?"

"they're for vi's birthday."

"her birthday was on tuesday i thought?"

"yeah, but we're having her party today," you explain, and then you clap your hand to your forehead. you shouldn't have said anything.

"oh then i won't keep you," san says quickly. there's something strange in his voice, but you're so far removed from him that you can't pick up on it. "i hate to call about school stuff on the weekend, but this is the only time i had..."

while san explains the reason for his call (room mom duties + he missed you, but he leaves that part out), jen and violet come in from the backyard. streamers are done, and violet is wearing a torn one around her neck like a scarf. you wave her over for a hug and a kiss, and jen mouths, "who are you talking to?" so you show your phone screen. she gasps when she sees it's san, and it's like you're watching a lightbulb spring from her head. she's got an idea.

"invite him to the party!" jen hisses, and you push her away.

"is that the birthday girl?" san asks, and there's a softness in his voice that makes you melt. "do you need to go?"

"no, just one of the birthday elves being annoying," you grumble, trying to elbow away from jen but she grabs your phone anyway and says a cheery hello to her coworker.

"hey san! happy saturday," she starts off. "listen, are you doing anything around, say, one o'clock?"

"uh, not that i can think of-"

"great! then i'll have y/n text you her address, you should come to violet's party. there's plenty of food, and we'd love to see you!" jen says with an evil smile plastered on her face.

"um, can you hand me back to y/n?" san asks, and jen relinquishes your phone then disappears.

"san, you do not have to come if you don't want to, jen is-"

"jen's what!?" jen shouts from somewhere within your house.

"i want to come," san says, and you're so surprised you almost drop the pancake you're trying to flip. "if that's ok."

"i..." you trail off, and then you look at violet. sweet, lovely violet. you would do anything for that girl, but you know she deserves more. she deserves both parents, and the little part of you that's been wondering if san's reappearance was a sign is the part that wins you over. you say, "yeah, come to the party. i want you here."

"then i'm there," san says, and you can hear his smile. "should i bring a present?"

"no, god, don't worry about that. girl's spoiled already, she doesn't need another toy," you tell him, and san laughs.

"alright. then text me the address, and i'll see you soon i guess."

"yeah, see you soon," you mumble as you hang up and look around for jen. she's rightfully hiding somewhere, but violet's voice distracts you as she asks who you were talking to. "well sugar, i have an extra birthday surprise for you," you say as you plate her pancakes. "mr. choi might be coming to your party, is that ok?"

"mr. choi?!" violet shrieks as she stands in her chair. you remind her not to do that and she listens, but she looks at you and asks, "for seriously? he's my favorite teacher."

"hey," jen whines as she rejoins you, throwing away the remnants of wrapping paper in her hands. "and to think i got you the biggest coolest birthday present ever."

"really?" you and violet ask in unison, and jen nods enthusiastically at your daughter. when she joins you at the sink she whispers, "i didn't go overboard."

"yes you did," you whisper back.

"what did san want?" jen asks with that evil smile again, and you try to elbow her side but she darts away too quickly.

"i had told him about the game the kinder moms wanted our grade to do for field day, and he forgot what supplies it needed," you explain. "so he was calling about that, and the call was almost over when someone interrupted."

"y/n, listen," jen says sternly, and you both look over to violet to make sure she's distracted. jen keeps her voice down as she continues, "he likes you. don't ask me how i know, but i know. and the way you get so nervous around him, i know it sounds childish, but i think you have a crush on him-"

"jen," you say seriously. "please stop. you don't know what you're doing."

"no, y/n, you don't know what you're doing!" jen says, and you step back. "no, i don't mean it like that. i just mean, you said you were having a hard time doing this on your own. it may not be my place, but i think san could help. he'd be good for you and violet."

"you remember how san and i were friends years ago?" you ask, and jen nods, about to add to her case, but you cut her off. "we were close. really close."

"did you kiss?" jen asks excitedly and you roll your eyes.

"will you focus?" you smile anyway, and add, "we spent most of our time together, but then life stuff changed. we went in completely different directions, and it was just easier to say goodbye and go our separate ways. that was five years ago. well, six, now i guess," you correct yourself, your eyes betraying you as they flick back over to violet.

"oh my god," jen gasps. "no."

"yes."

"no way."

"yes."

"you're a liar."

"mommy's not a liar," violet chimes in, and you let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry. "miss jen, that wasn't very nice."

"i'm sorry violet, you're right," jen says calmly. she looks closely at violet and then to you. "but sometimes what's right is hard to do."

"i know that," you sigh. "believe me. but we can talk about this later."

"you bet your ass we are!"

"miss jen!"

"sorry, sorry!"

you and jen do a good job of ignoring the truth bomb you set off just before guests started arriving, but knowing san will be here soon keeps you on edge all day. violet is having the time of her life, which takes a little bit of pressure off of you at least. you just have to play host to your family and friends all while keeping one eye on the door for san.

he arrives just past one. you heard the doorbell from the backyard, but as you're walking through the house you see your aunt opening the door for him. it opens to a stunning version of the man you've tried so hard to hide from, and just looking at him makes you blush. he's dressed casually, but nicer than the work out clothes you see him in at the school. jeans and a sweater, and glasses. san never wore glasses in school, and you're wondering why this news is making your stomach flip. when san finds you, his face lights up. he makes his way around a group of kids and pulls you into a polite hug, mumbling his greeting into your hair. you wish time would stop for a moment, let you stay in his hold a second longer. but he's pulling away and shyly presenting a gift bag, his sheepish eyes saying "sorry but not sorry."

"i told you not to bring anything," you scoff, taking the gift over to the present table anyway.

"it's something small, but i think she'll like it," san says, and you thank him. it's awkward for a second as you both search for something to say, but in the quiet san reaches to push his glasses further up his nose and you smile.

"so you getting old, choi?" you tease him, pointing to the glasses. "how long have you needed those for?"

"just a couple years," san shrugs. "i don't mind them, but it's easier to wear contacts at work. i actually like the way they look."

"they're cute," you agree, and you feel your heart thudding in your chest as san processes the compliment. he looks around your house then, and he distractedly puts an arm around you in another hug as he says, "your house is great, by the way. you've really made a life for yourself, y/n." he looks at you while he says the next part, "i hope you're proud of yourself."

"i am," you nod, suddenly very aware of how many people are here and possibly looking at you two. you feign a cough and san gets the hint. he pulls away and you immediately feel cold, but you catch a glimpse of jen eyeing you in the corner of the room. you shake off whatever was distracting you because of the man at your side, and you're about to excuse yourself to find violet when the woman in question appears below you.

"mr. choi!!!" she shouts as she jumps in place. "you're here!"

"i am!" he replies, holding hands and jumping with violet. "are you having fun?"

"yeah! cmere, i wanna show you my swings!" she says excitedly, and then san is being dragged outside. you follow at a safe distance, wanting to see how they interact without making it too obvious you're watching san and not your kid. some of the school kids present recognize a big kid in san and soon he's got a whole herd following him around. you laugh seeing him be so silly, so freely himself with these kids, and you wonder if this is what he's like as a teacher. then you find your mind wandering to what san would be like as a dad. you know he'd be great, so what are you doing?

you know you have to tell him. you see the way violet is smiling and laughing, and you can't keep this kind of joy from her anymore. you don't know when, and you don't know how, but you will tell san that he's the father of your daughter.

violet's birthday party was perfect. she had an amazing time, her friends had an amazing time, and you had an amazing time. with san. he fit back into your life perfectly, and as you were saying your goodbyes at the end of the night, you had the intense desire to kiss him. you didn't, but that's only because jen came over with a sleepy violet that she thrust into your arms. you and san were cooing over the tired party girl and jen inconspicuously snapped a picture of the three of you. you and san, looking down at violet with so much love in your eyes, and violet smiling her biggest smile. jen texted it to you later and you were grateful to have this moment captured forever.

you were staring at that photo now, waiting for violet to finish getting ready for school. you weren't really paying attention to the time, caught up in admiring san. you felt a sense of calm and safety when you thought of him, looked at him, and you're kicking yourself for keeping that same feeling from violet's life. you were so distracted by your thoughts that you didn't hear violet walk up, so you almost jumped out of your skin when she says, "whatcha doooin?" directly into your ear.

"oh baby you scared me," you gasp. she giggles and points to your phone.

"you were staring at mr. choi!"

"i was not," you roll your eyes, but she nods and goes, "yeah huh."

"i'm not getting into a yeah huh nuh uh fight with you right now," you say as you ruffle her hair. "you ready for school?" it's then that you give her a once over and screw your face up in confusion. "where's that shirt from? i don't remember buying you that."

"it was my gift from mr. choi, 'member?" violet says proudly as she shows it off.

"yeah, yeah, i guess i do," you reply. "you wanted to wear it to school?"

"so i can tell him thank you," she says simply, and you place a soft kiss on her forehead. your sweet girl.

"i'm sure he'll be happy to see it. c'mon, let's go."

san had an awful morning. none of the classes would listen to him, half of his equipment for this unit was broken or missing, and apparently he was getting evaluated this afternoon. nothing was wrong, it was just protocol, but why did he find out about it two hours before it was supposed to happen? he was stressed, unprepared, and wearing a t shirt that apparently has a hole in the armpit. one of the unruly classes so kindly pointed that out for him. so yeah, it's been a bad day. that's why he sat down at lunch with a huff, interrupting whatever jen and wooyoung had been talking about prior to his dramatic entrance.

"what's wrong with you?" wooyoung asks bluntly, and san scoffs.

"one of those days where i'm considering child abandonment."

"san!" jen gasps.

"i'm joking, chill out," he sighs. "i just. can today be over? i'd like it to be over. or can i get a redo? that might be better, considering i have an eval today i know i'm not gonna pass."

"if you go into it like that then duh you're gonna do bad," jen says. "but it hasn't even happened yet, so why be so negative?"

"whatever," san huffs again, poking at his food like it's the root of his bad day. "how has your day been."

"great, my kids are angels and i love my job," wooyoung jokes, so san kicks him under the table.

"your class was the first one to put me in a bad mood this morning."

"yeah, because i told them i accidentally killed our class pet."

"wooyoung!" jen gasps again.

"accidentally!"

"how'd you manage that?" san asks with the beginnings of a smile on his face. not that he was laughing over the death of a very tiny pet, no. but he did enjoy seeing wooyoung making mistakes. makes the world go round, he thinks.

"i forgot to take it home for the weekend and i came in this morning to bob the beta fish belly up," wooyoung explains. he raises his carton of strawberry milk in a toast, which san and jen play along with. "he didn't live long, i didn't like him, and the kids barely knew he was there. bob, may you rest in peace."

"this isn't making me feel better," san whines as they clink their drinks together.

"oh!" jen says happily, "i have something!" she shuffles around looking for her phone, and excitedly pulls something up for san to see. she shoves the screen so close to his face he can barely see anything, so he takes her phone and blinks to let his eyes adjust. he smiles immediately when he realizes it's the picture of him, you, and violet. he's so mesmerized by your beauty, all these years later, that it takes him a minute to shift his focus to the equally beautiful violet squeezed between you. she's perfect, san thinks. if he had a kid, he'd want her to be just like violet: kind, funny, full of energy and life.

"who is that?" wooyoung asks, pushing his face close to san's to catch a glimpse. "ooo, is that your milf?"

it's jen's turn to kick him underneath the table, but san must admit, that was a little funny. he doesn't answer right away, though. something about the picture has caught his attention.

"no," jen says sternly since san has gone mute. "that's my friend y/n and her kid violet, we've talked about them before. san came to her birthday party this weekend."

"the milf?!"

"no!" jen repeats. "violet. i helped y/n with the party, and since she and san go way back, i kinda invited san without her knowing."

"nice," wooyoung nods. "good. get him into the house, and then into her heart. maybe the pants too-"

"dude," san finally cuts in. "what's wrong with you?"

"you two are boring me," he sighs. "sue me if i wanted to have a little fun with our conversation."

"you took this?" san asks jen, ignoring wooyoung now. she says yes, so he asks, "can i send it to myself? do you think y/n would mind?"

"no, i think that's fine," jen replies with a smile. "go ahead."

"thanks," san mumbles, typing his number in quickly to send the photo. he doesn't want to seem weird, sitting here staring at it, but there's still something he can't quite put his finger on. something familiar about it. not quite deja vu, but like he's seen this before. he hands jen's phone back to her, and she continues some inane argument with wooyoung as san checks his phone. huh, he thinks, taking one last look at the photo as he saves it to his library. violet sure has a nice smile.

san's day does not get better. the evaluation was mediocre at best, but the assistant principal doing the visit pulled him aside and promised better equipment in the new year. at least one good thing came out of this awful day.

well, two good things. san keeps opening his phone just to stare at that picture of himself with you and violet. his desire to patch things up with you only continues to grow, and he's been thinking about you so much that he swears he hears your voice calling his name at the end of the day. then a squeakier, tinier voice joins in, and san realizes, oh shit, you and violet are in his office.

"hey, sorry," he shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "god, sorry. how long were you standing there?"

"not long," you assure him. "i hope we're not bothering you?"

"not at all," he says as he stands. violet runs up to him then, turning from side to side with her hands clasped in front of her. san laughs, looking from her to you as he asks, "what's going on?"

"vi had a surprise for you, and she forgot she didn't have pe today so she got into the car crying because you didn't get to see it," you explain. "we turned around as soon as i got the story, and now we're here. do you recognize her shirt at all?"

"oh my god!" san smiles, violet joining in. san bends down to pick her up and swings her around to the sound of giggles. "you're wearing my present! do you like it?"

"i do!" she chirps, hiccuping a little as the giggles continue. san slows and carefully places her back down as she says, "thank you for coming to my party."

"thank you for inviting me," san replies, and you realize he's talking to you. you consider telling him now, you can feel his gaze pulling the words right out of you, but you chicken out.

"thank jen," you remind him. "she's the one who ambushed me."

"ambush?" san laughs nervously. "i hope me coming over wasn't an ambush."

"i shouldn't have said that," you shake your head. "i just." you take a deep breath. "it's been hard, you know, seeing you again. getting used to you being back in my life."

"happy to be here," san says coolly, and you pick up on the undertones. you knew he must have been upset with you, only wanting him when you couldn't have him. he'd given you so many chances to be his, but you grasped the last one. san was mad at himself first, and he's not mad at you per se, but the memory of that still hurts. he could have been in your life, violet's life, this whole time. it was you who kept the door bolted shut. now it's like there's little cracks filtering in bits of sunlight, and you're basking in them. you're just afraid that the warmth you feel from san now will burn you someday, that your past will be too hard to get over, and you can't tell him about violet until you know how he really feels.

"listen, we should go, but i want to hang out with you soon," you tell him, and san looks at you confused. "we need to catch up, don't you think?"

"sure," san agrees. "let me know where to be and when, i'll make it work."

that friday night, you have a babysitter (jen) and plans to meet san for dinner. jen is already here, you can hear her and violet whispering about something in the living room as you finish getting ready. this is not a date, but you're so nervous it might as well be. you could end up telling san tonight, if things go right. and if they go wrong...that's what's making you so nervous. the anxious side of you is already thinking of schools you can move violet to if the night goes bad, and the optimist is thinking about san finally being a dad to violet.

it's like he knew you were thinking about him, because his caller id lights up your phone (yes, his contact photo is that picture).

"you're cancelling," you say as soon as you pick up.

"what? no, freak," san chuckles. "i'm outside, but i'm sorry, i can't remember if your house has the red door or the blue one."

"you're what?" you ask, walking from your room to the front door. jen and violet watch on in curiosity, and you let out a sound of disbelief when you open the door to see san, standing by his car, looking from your house to the one next door.

"oh. found it," he teases, hanging up as he comes to the door. "you're not ready yet?"

"no, because i thought we were meeting there, i had more time," you say as you check your phone and notice you actually did not have time. "ok, i thought i had more time, but still. you didn't say you were picking me up."

"surprise?" san says sheepishly, peeking inside to wave to the girls.

"hi mr. choi!" they respond in unison, and san chuckles again.

"um, well, i wasn't expecting- i still have to-" you stammer out, basically turning in circles before staring back up at san. "give me two minutes."

"two? it'll be more like ten," san calls after you. you sort of sprint back to your room, checking that you look put together. your eyes look nervous, though. you hope san can't pick up on that. you grab your favorite necklace, one that violet picked out for you recently, and hold onto the heart pendant as you take a deep breath. you can do this. it's just san, your old pal! your friend! the father of your daughter who has no idea his life could have been completely different or that it's going to change with the information you're about to give him! great! let's go eat some tacos!

you and san both give violet hugs goodbye (she insisted) and jen says goodbye with a wiggle of her eyebrows. she thinks this is a date, and she spent an appropriate amount of time hyping you up tonight. she's known san more recently, so she gave you good insight on the whole telling him situation. she assured you that, while he may be frustrated by you not telling him sooner, under it all he'll be happy. he's wanted a family of his own since he started working at the school, so she's sure he'll be nothing but thrilled once the initial shock wears off. boy do you hope she's right.

san is being such a gentleman. first picking you up, then rushing out of the car to open your door for you, pulling your chair out at the restaurant...it's making this feel like a date. it's also making you scared that you're going to chicken out, but you can't.

"so," san says with a :] smile. "what did you want to talk about?" you take a moment to mess with the chips and salsa in front of you before you respond. you're taking so long that san takes a deep breath and starts, "i hope you know i'm not mad at you."

"what?" you ask in a small voice, chip halfway to your mouth.

"i'm not mad at you," san goes on. "i never was. i hope you know that."

"but i was a dick," you tell him, and he lowers his head with a laugh. you want him to listen to you though, so you grab his hand laid out on the table and squeeze. "no, seriously, that was such an asshole move on my part. only letting down my walls and letting you in the night before we both moved away? i've never forgiven myself for that."

"but you should," san shrugs. "i understand. i'm glad it happened. if i had to choose, i'd rather it happen the exact same way than not happen at all."

"right," and now it's your turn to look down. you let go of san's hand and go back to messing with the food in front of you. "i'm still sorry for how i acted."

"it's ok, i promise," san assures you. you aren't looking at him so he clears his throat and says, "actually, while we're talking about...back then. i have something to tell you too." oh no, you think. you nod to encourage him to continue, not sure you can speak right now. "um, well, here goes. i know it's been years, and we've barely talked since school, but..i don't know, y/n. i still think you're the one for me, and i was just wondering, maybe, since we're both in the same town again, and we see each other so often..."

"what, san?" you whisper, afraid of what he's going to say.

"will you go out with me?" he asks. "finally?"

"san," you sigh, and he shakes his head.

"no, don't say no yet. you can think about it. i know you have a lot more to consider than i do, so i don't mind waiting. but i wanted to put it out there. in case, uh, in case you were interested."

"put it out there? why are you talking about this like a couch you're trying to get rid of?" you tease him to ease the tension. "you just asked me out and now you sound like you're not sure."

"i'm sure," san says firmly. "very sure. but i don't want you to feel pressured."

"you've never made me feel anything but loved, san," you let slip, and you want to etch the look on his face into your memory forever. he looks so pleased, so purely happy at your words. they're hanging in the air as the waiter comes by to take your order, and that provides enough of a distraction that you both go back to a semblance of normalcy when he leaves. you fall into an easy conversation, catching up over your lost years. san tells you all about work, his family, his friends. it makes you happy that you chose this town, this school, to raise your kid in.

you fill san in too, but only the highlights. you don't want to ruin your dinner with the news, so you tell him about your career since he knows the least about that. he can't stop telling you how proud he is, and reiterates how amazing you are for raising a kid on top of it. you've got a steady blush on your cheeks as you keep chatting, and you notice then that the meal is over. your plates have been cleared for a while, and san paid without you knowing. how'd he do that?

"i was going to pay for my food," you protest.

"nope, my treat," san says. "let someone else take care of you for once."

"well thanks," you squeak out. "i've got you next time though."

"if there's a next time, i'm still paying," san replies so you roll your eyes and drop it for now. "um, before we go though, i was wondering...can i ask about violet? i feel like you barely mentioned her."

"oh, sorry," you laugh it off. "i don't get a chance to talk about myself a lot, so i'm not saying i forgot to mention vi, i just..."

"i get it," san nods in understanding. "you wanted to brag about yourself for a minute, that's ok. i'm glad you did."

"good," you smile shyly. "but, yeah, violet. what about her?"

"i wanna hear as much as you're willing to tell me," san says, and looking into your eyes, you know he means the father. "was there some great love of your life you don't want to tell me about?"

"san, it's not like that," you tell him, then think to yourself that in a way it is true. you think san is the love of your life, but you can't say that yet. "right, well, i have something to tell you, actually," you say in a voice stronger than you expected. you thought you'd be nervous, but it's like some mom power kicks in and you're able to stare directly into san's strong, gorgeous eyes as you speak. "can i?" you motion to his hands, and he holds them out so you can place your smaller ones in his. still looking into the eyes you've grown to love, you take a deep breath and say, "i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner. but san, you're violet's dad. she's your daughter."

"what?" he asks in a shaky voice.

"when we.." you try to explain, and have to start over, "that night. five years ago-"

"six," san corrects.

"six, you're right. that night was when she...yeah. i found out about violet a month later, after i had moved. i tried calling you. i did, i swear, and i know that sounds so childish but it's the truth. i tried calling you, tried figuring out how to tell you...but i heard how happy you were, how easy it was for you to settle into your life back at home. i didn't want to throw something unexpected at you and change all of that."

you rambled, and you're not sure how easy that was to follow. or how believable it was either, but you've said it. you're watching san take it in, and he's unnervingly calm. you can't read his face at all, but you realize you've been squeezing his hands and he's squeezing yours right back. you relax your grip then, but he doesn't. he stays quiet.

"san, say something."

"th-thank you," he stutters, finally slipping his hands out of yours. "thanks for protecting me from that, i guess."

"san, i-"

"no, y/n, it's fine," he shakes his head and stands. "come on, let's go. it's getting late."

the car ride is silent. san says nothing, but you can feel the emotions radiating from him. or maybe those are your own? fear, resentment, sadness...you always thought telling san the truth would make everything better. make you feel at peace at last. but currently you feel more ill at ease than you ever have. you want to crawl out of your skin, you want to scream at yourself, at san, just to get some kind of reaction out of him.

when he pulls into your driveway, he puts the car in park but doesn't unlock the door. you can tell he wants to say something, so you wait. you think you see jen peeking through the blinds, but you're not sure. a quick glance at the clock tells you violet's been in bed for a while, but knowing jen she probably let her stay up a little longer. you hope she's still awake when you go in, you could really use a hug from her right now.

"y/n," san calls your name softly. you turn your body completely so he can see you fully, and you see he's gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. "does she know?"

"huh?"

"violet," san says her name so carefully, so purposefully. like it's taken on a new meaning. "does violet now i'm her dad?"

"n-no," you stutter, and san slumps his head down. "but i told her about you. about her dad."

"she looks just like me," he says, and that's when you notice the sadness in his voice. he sounds broken, and it feels like your heart rips itself to shreds.

"san, i am so sor-"

"don't. just don't." you watch him carefully, and you think you see tears. "i can't..."

"can't what?" you want to reach out and touch him, to brush the tears away, but you hesitate.

"i can't believe you kept this from me," he says in a whisper so small you barely heard it.

"i was young and stupid and scared, san," you defend yourself. "i didn't know what i was doing, i should have tried harder to get in touch but-"

"i didn't get to be there y/n," he spits out, and you stop talking as he turns to you. "i missed her birth, her first steps, her first words. i wasn't in her life! she's my kid and you kept her from me for some of the most important years of her life."

"i know, and i'm..i'm sorry."

"sorry doesn't cut it." he's full on crying now. "i thought...i thought you cared about me. about what we meant to each other. how could you do this?"

"i was wrong to keep you away," you admit. "it ate me alive every day, but the longer i waited the harder it was to call you. and this is totally self inflicted but raising a kid on my own was hard! after i made that choice i barely had time to think about anything else!" you're shouting now, not out of anger, but frustration. "it was selfish, and i'm sorry. but i told you. you've always been part of violet's life. i tell her about her dad all the time. she asks about you, and i've never lied to her. i only kept your name, who you are to me, a secret."

"yeah that makes me feel so much better," san rolls his eyes, and you scoff before reaching over him to unlock the doors. as soon as you do, you're out of the car and rushing to your front door, san running behind you calling your name.

you get into the house and see jen moving around in the kitchen, but no signs of violet. san has stopped behind you, standing awkwardly at the threshold, so you grab his shirt and pull him along with you into violet's room. at the sound of the door opening she bolts up in bed. she looks confused, seeing two figures in her doorway, but when she recognizes you she makes little grabby hands for you to join her. again, san stays at the door, watching the two of you with a new perspective.

"cmere sugar," you whisper softly, sitting on violet's bed. you maneuver her so she's sitting on your lap.

"why is mr. choi here?" she asks, and you hear san take in a breath.

"his name is san, violet. and he's very important to me," you explain. violet is facing san as you ask, "can you tell us all you know about your daddy?" she nods, and then begins.

"mommy says he's very nice, the nicest man in the world!" violet starts out. "she says he's smart and strong and funny and handsome. she says i have his smile!" and with this she smiles, teeth and all, and san sees himself in her. it brings tears to his eyes, but she keeps going. "mommy says he's caring, and i had to ask what that meant. she says being caring means you're a good friend and you're nice to everybody. that reminds me of you, mr. san!"

"anything else baby?" you ask violet, stroking her hair. "what else do we say about daddy?"

"we love him very much," violet answers proudly. "and even if he's not with us, like in the same house or something, he's always right here!" and with that she puts her hand over her heart. she looks up at you then, asking, "did i miss anything mommy?"

"nope, you got it all sugar," and you kiss the top of her head, afraid to meet san's eyes. "thank you, violet. are you ready to go back to bed now?"

"yeah, but i want a bedtime story," she pouts, and you wonder if san notices how similar they look then too. "babysitter jen does too many funny voices, and one of them scared me."

"ok, i'll read you a story," you whisper, slowly and carefully dumping her back into bed as you stand. "but i need to talk to san really quick, is that ok?"

"uh huh," violet nods with a yawn, cuddling back up to her favorite stuffie. as san looks around her room, he notices a pillow he used to have, tucked in the corner of violet's bed. he used to call it shiber, it was something silly, but he loved that thing in college. it went missing the week before school ended, and san always wondered where it went. well, now he knows.

you carefully pull violet's door shut as the two of you back out into the hallway. the rest of the house is quiet, so you wonder briefly if jen has gone home. you look to san, ready to defend yourself further, get him to understand where you're coming from, but then you see the tears on his cheeks. now you do reach up and wipe them away, his hands covering yours and squeezing tightly.

"i am so sorry for keeping you away," you say one last time. "it was wrong. it will take time, but i will do everything i can to make that up to you."

"you can do it right now," san breathes out, the first easy breath he's taken since this conversation started. "let me be in her life. in yours. i missed so much, i can't miss anymore of it."

"we're here if you want us," you tell him, and san squeezes your hands again before pulling them from his face. he drapes your arms over his shoulders, his drifting to your waist.

"i do," he nods eagerly. "i want you." and with that, he kisses you. it's not a soft kiss, no. there's more force behind it than that. there's six years (maybe more) of repressed feelings in that kiss. it's the kind of kiss that makes you want to pop your foot up, the kind that sends butterflies soaring up from your stomach through your chest. you're so lost in the feeling that you don't hear violet's door open, and then...

"oh! mommy! mr. san is biting you!" violet shrieks, so you and san finally detach. you keep your foreheads together as you look down at violet staring disapprovingly at you.

"he's not biting me, we were kissing," you explain to her, but she doesn't like that answer.

"hey, i got in trouble for kissing a boy on the playground," she whines, and san looks at you in shock. you nod to confirm as you tell her, "that's because you shouldn't kiss at school. and you're too young. you can kiss when you're-"

"thirty," san finishes for you, making you both laugh as violet whines more.

"i was just gonna say when she's older," you whisper to him, and he shrugs.

"had to assert my parenting style somehow."

"why are you and mr. san whispering?" violet asks with a jump and her arms in the air. you're about to pick her up when san bends down and scoops her instead, so you can talk to her eye level.

"we're talking about you," you say as you boop her nose. "and stop calling him mr. san."

"what do i call him then?" she pouts, and you share your first silent parent language stare with san.

"actually baby, we have something we need to tell you..."

846 notes · View notes

jazzyoranges · 7 months

Text

Splitting Headache

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: Tara is there when you have a shitty day at work

Words: 1.0k

A/n: i didn’t spell check or anything so sorry if there’s mistakes 😇 also kinda inspired by a reddit story i saw on tiktok

Warnings(?): fluff, annoying customers

You’ve had a long fucking day at work. Your day was already bad when you woke up. There was a throbbing pain right in the middle for your forehead, but alas, the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache. Unfortunately, your headache only worsened when you somehow slipped on a chew toy in the kitchen of your apartment

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache or a bruise on your ass. You worked as a barista at a pretty busy coffee shop. There was always a constant stream of people ordering pastries, drinks, and sandwiches. At least you got paid a little more than average, right?

Luckily the car ride to the shop wasn’t too bad. Until you almost crashed into some dumbass driver that doesn’t know how to drive. A plethora of curses escaped your lips as you angrily beeped at the guy that almost made a dent in your car — your precious baby

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache, a bruise on your ass, or idiot drivers. You’re only a few minutes late so you quickly put on your apron and start making some drinks. The thing you hate most about your job isn’t the customers, but the overly complex and sugary coffees. Like, who the fuck is ordering a liquified birthday cake coffee at eight in the morning? The loud machine’s definitely didn’t make your headache better

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache, a bruise on your ass, idiot drivers, or loud noises. Thankfully your job was pretty simple. Well, to you it was a pain in the ass, but an easy pain in the ass. Take the order, make the drink, spell the name wrong, and serve. Sounds pretty easy, but there just so happens to be a certain time where the worst customers come in. Nine in the morning. At nine in the morning, all of the angry moms and the mean business men come in to have their morning coffee

And every single morning you have to deal with them

Every.

Single.

Morning.

Today was absolutely no different

“I asked for two pumps of vanilla! You only put one!”

“No, that gift card isn’t used up!”

“I get to cut the line. I’m more important than anyone else here!”

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache, a bruise on your ass, idiot drivers, loud noises, or annoying customers. Really, the only thing that was getting you through this day was your girlfriend. Your amazing, beautiful, wonderful, kind, beau-

“This is disgusting! You must be new, this is not the matcha coffee I ordered!” A woman snaps you out of your thoughts and you have to put on your customer-service voice

“Actually, i’ve been working here for about six months. What seems to be the issue?”

“Are you trying to smart-mouth me, young lady?”

“Not at all, ma’am.”

“Yeah the hell you are!” The lady was practically screaming at you, and you saw some phones recording your situation. At least you’d have proof of verbal harassment if you decided to punch her

“Please, ma’am, I’ll make it for you again.”

“No way! You’ve ruined my morning!” And with that, the woman splashes her drink in your face before you can react. Your manager catches wind of the situation, but he gets there too late. You’re already dripping green when he arrives. You storm off into the break room with a scowl on your face

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache, a bruise on your ass, idiot drivers, loud noises, annoying customers, or women that throw matcha coffee in your face. Thankfully your manager is nice and kind enough to know the customer isn’t always right. He offers you the day off, and you happily accept. You wash up before leaving and earn a few “I’m sorry she did that”’s and “She was in the wrong”’s, which makes you feel a little better knowing the other customers were on your side

The entire situation just made your head throb even harder

Originally you were going to go back home to take a nap, but you decide to visit the only reason you kept going today. You’re amazing, beautiful, wonderful, kind, girlfriend Tara. All you wanted to do was spend the rest of the day in her arms and kiss until your lips were swollen. Every sapphic woman’s dream, really

You pull into the garage of Tara’s apartment complex, and practically sprint to her room. One minute flat, a new record. Softly knocking on the door as to not scare her, you patiently waited to hear her footsteps check the peephole

“Baby?” Your girlfriend says behind the door before opening it. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

You choose to not elaborate, and pull her into a shoulder crushing hug

“What’s with the affection? Tell me what’s wrong, love”

“Bad day. Cuddle?” You mumble into her shoulder, and she laughs while shutting the door

“Of course.” Tara pulls your face to hers, giving you a deep kiss before taking you to her room. You can’t your giddy smile and it makes the younger Carpenter happy

There are random shirts and shorts from all the times you’ve spent over, and you quickly change before jumping into Tara’s arms. Burying your head into your girlfriend’s chest, you sigh at her smell. She’s exactly what home smells like to you

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong, baby?”

“Tired.” You mumble

“It’s only two in the afternoon my love”

“Just want you...” You mumble again in one breath, making Tara laugh

She had to be magic. Your worries washed away, and simply being with her made you feel better. Tara ran her hands through your hair, massaging your head. Simultaneously, your headache was nearly gone. Shitty days, mediocre days, good days, you knew your girlfriend would be there to pick you up. Maybe you wouldn’t mind if the world stopped spinning for Tara Carpenter

—

Bonus:

“Baby, why do you smell like matcha?”

“Long story.”

#jenna ortega x reader #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega #scream #tara carpenter #scream 6 #tara carpenter scream #scream franchise

540 notes · View notes

formulapai · 6 months

Text

HOSPITAL TRIP

part of the BROTHER IN LAW series

scenario: she wasn’t hurt that bad, they were just over-exaggerating..

warning: hospital, vomit, falling down the stairs, minor concussion

pai’s words: it sounds really bad but it’s NOT I promise. also, my brothers call me “ma puce” quite often, which is a REALLY known nickname in France, and it literally translates to “my flea” and it’s ?? weird ?? so I translated it as “sweetie” to match the vibe ! ALSO I had a concussion once when I was younger because one of them pushed me into a wall while riding a bike, fun times 👍🏻

based on a true story (I broke my pinky and my brothers acted like I was on deathbed, calling my UNCLES to tell them all about it 💀💀💀)

“Bon Océ, tu fais quoi là?” (Océ, what are you doing?)

She hears her twin brother’s exasperated grumble as she finishes getting ready, fastening her new heels’ strap around her ankle.

“Roh ca va Thuthur, je suis prête!” (Cmon it’s fine Thuthur, I’m ready)

She excitedly runs out of her room and down the stairs, ready to go to the restaurant with her brother. They’re joining their mum and older brothers there for their weekly dinner. Or well, they should have been, but the night’s plan are forgotten as Arthur sees her sister tripping in the stairs and miserably falling down. She’s at the bottom of them when he finally unfreezes and rushes to her, screaming her name. The woman stays unmoving but awake for a few seconds, too stunned to comprehend what has happened.

“Oh putain, ça va ma puce ?” (Oh fuck, you alright sweetie?)

Océane snorts and holds a thumbs up, trying to get up but quickly realizing her mistakes. She groans as pain shoots up her spine and bangs around her head. Damn, maybe her fall was a little worse than she thought. Her brother holds her as she sits up and grits her teeth as the banging in her head grows stronger. He sees right through her game and shakes his head.

“Va sur le canapé, je les préviens qu’on va être en retard.” (Go sit on the couch, I’m telling them we’re going to be late)

She tries to do as he said but isn’t able to get far as her vision goes black and she slumps back on the ground in a frankly humiliating position that she KNOWS her brother would have made fun of her for if it was any other situation. Once her vision is back, she finally manages to get up towards the couch and lets herself fall on it with a sigh. She slowly looks over at whatever she can see of her body, noticing that nothing seems broken or even bruised and she thanks her lucky star for it. In the back of her mind, she pictures Pierre nagging at her for choosing the very own shoes he told her to be careful with. Of course she didn’t listen, and of course she should have. It’s a known fact she’s the clumsiest person ever.

“Bon, j’ai prévenu Maman, tu te sens comment?” (Alright, I’ve told mom, how are you feeling?)

He sits next to her and does a quick visual checkup, coming to the same conclusion as hers.

“Ca va, ca va, juste un peu mal à la tête.” (I’m fine, I’m fine, just a headache)

Arthur frowns at that, concern written on his face.

“T’es sûre que ca ira ? ‘Fin tu sais, ils nous disent toujours de faire gaffe à ca justement, les cervicales, tout ca..” (You sure it’s going to be fine ? I mean, they always tell us to be careful about this, cervical impact and all)

Océane snorts, of course he’s going to compare her fall to the extreme risks of his job. As if she’s that hurt. She shakes her head but quickly regrets it when buzzing fills her ears and she’s hit with a wave of nausea. Quickly getting up despite her state, the sister rushes to the bathroom and kneels in front of the toilet. Her head is so loud, her vision doesn’t seem to be working as she’d like, and in the midst of it all, she can still hear her twin’s voice as he rushes after her. He stops at the door and waits for her to finish, ready to help her if needed. He knows something is definitely wrong, she probable hit her head during the fall.

“Bon, je previens Maman que je t’emmene aux urgences” (Well, I’m telling mom I’m taking you to the ER)

The other twin spits the water she was gurgling and turns around, eyes wide and arms crossed.

“Non mais tu vas pas m’emmener aux urgences pour une chute ?” (You are so not taking me to the ER because I fell?)

Arthur stands his ground and levels her with a glare, his mind already made up. She scoffs as she goes back to the living room, taking her phone and seeing messages from her brothers and his boyfriend. She’s about to answer to some of them when her phone lights up with a call from Lorenzo that she’s quick to accept.

“Va à l’hopital ma puce” (Go to the hospital, sweetie)

“Tu vas pas t’y mettre aussi Enzo, c’est n’importe quoi” (Not you too Enzo, it’s bullshit)

“Non mais il a raison, ca peut etre grave ! Vaut mieux prévenir que guérir.” (But he’s right, it can be serious. Better be safe than sorry)

In the corner of her eyes, she sees Arthur smiling triumphantly as he listens to the conversation and already has her bag in his hands, ready to go.

“Mais Enzo, je suis juste tombée, je suis meme pas blessée !” (Cmon Enzo, I just fell, I’m not even hurt)

Océane hears shuffling on the other side of the phone and rolls her eyes as Charles comes to the phone.

“Océ ! Va au moins voir si tout va bien, je t’emmène à ton café préféré demain si t’y vas !” (Océ, at least go there to check if everything’s fine, I’m taking you to your favorite cafe if you do)

“Bon ok, mais si je me fais disputer par les infirmieres parce que je gache leur temps, je dis que c’est de votre faute !” (Fine, but if the nurses tell me off for wasting their time I’m telling them it’s because of you guys)

She faintly hears her mother laughing as she hangs up and turns to her brother, vision becoming blurry once again. She doesn’t pay any mind to it and gets up, walking towards the front door and towards his brother’s Ferrari. Dumb boys and their dumb obsession with the Italian cars. As soon as they’re on their way, her phone’s connected to the radio, yet another person calls her. She shakes her head and answers, the car radio coming alive.

“Mon ange, j’ai eu Charlo au telephone, c’est quoi cette histoire encore ? Tu vas bien ?” (My angel, Charlo called me, what’s this all about ? Are you okay ?)

Arthur snorts and decides to expose her and her damn shoes, how she fell and pretty much every details there is to know about it. She’s very tempted to take the steering wheel and crash the car.

“Bref, on va pas en faire tout un plat, je suis tombée et ils exagerent, comme d’habitude.” (Anyway, no need to blabber about it, I fell and they’re overreacting, as usual)

Pierre chuckles and stays on the phone with them until they arrive at the ER’s parking lot, making his girlfriend promise to keep him updated. Arthur leads them towards the desk, her dizziness returning once she’s out of the car, and explains the story to the nurse there, turning towards his twin to see if she needs to add something. Océane tells her symptoms, how she feels as if her head is going to explode, how she felt sparks shoot up her spine when she fell and the pin just stayed in her head after that. They wait for a few moments, the waiting room surprisingly empty. Her brother distracts her and launches into a monologue about whatever game he discovered with his friends the night before during a livestream. It’s not long before she’s called over, having a nurse do a simple checkup on her, shining a light in her eyes, taking her temperature, the basics. Only later, when a doctor enters the room to tell her the diagnostic, she softly laughs. The professional assures her that it was a good thing they insisted on having her come to the hospital and sends her off with a few instructions.

“Un trauma cranien, TRES leger!” (A concussion, a very minor one)

Arthur shoots up his seat and joins you towards the exit, blabbering about how they were so right, how she absolutely needs to rest and drink and acting as if she’s a one year old. The nail in the coffin is when he insists on calling her boyfriend to tell her he needs to come ASAP to take care of her because “it’s his job as your boyfriend !”. They argue all the way back to the apartment and even after they arrive, the twin brother insisting on having her laying in bed for the rest of the evening.

“Arthur, t’es saoulant là, sincerement” (Arthur, you’re annoying, sincerely)

But he’s gone before she can finish the sentence, so she grumpily settles on the bed and waits. Of course he took her phone, claiming that the screen was going to worsen the situation. Again, for a minor concussion. A simple minor concussion. She’s soon lost in her thoughts, not hearing when voices are suddenly coming from the entryway, not even noticing the soft knock on her door. She does notice her boyfriend’s very amused face as he looks down on her.

“Non mais je reve, dis moi qu’il t’a pas dit de venir ?” (I hope I’m dreaming and he didn’t tell you to come)

Pierre’s facade breaks and he cackles loudly, slapping his thigh. He proceeds to tell her everyone is downstairs, her brothers absolutely serious in their worry, her mother enjoying the chaos and laughing silently. Océane decides the best to do is ignore it all and lets her lover climbs into the bed with her, enjoying the butterfly kisses he leaves on her head.

#pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly fluff #arthur leclerc #arthur leclerc fluff #arthur leclerc imagine #charles leclerc #f1 fluff #f1 imagine

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yours-mythically · 6 months

Text

The (not so secret) Secret

➤ pairing : mother figure!natasha romanoff x fem!reader (platonic)

➤ summary : natasha finds y/n's diary and discovers something that everyone except for her no one knew....

➤ warnings : nat crying but it's happy tears

➤ a/n : first oneshot yay (ignore any grammar mistakes)

It definitely wasn't a secret that Y/N saw Nat as her mother. Well, apparently to Nat it was, because when, one day, she found the girl's diary and decided to take a look into it out of curiosity, she was shocked at what she read.

"Dear diary, today Nat and I went to the park. We feeded fed some ducks and also saw some pretty cute dogs. After that we went and ate some ice cream. Nat let me have two scoops! After ice cream, we came back home and Wanda made dilicios delicious waffles. Later, I went to bed and Nat sang me some Russian lullabies.

Yu you can't tell this to anyone, but I see nat as my mama. She's so caring and always takes care of me and she's so pretty too!

Anyway, have a good night, I'll continue writing tomorrow."

While Nat read through the page, she couldn't help but smile at the few mistakes Y/N made; she was getting better and better at writing. But when she arrived at the bottom of the page, tears were already starting to form in her eyes. She took a deep breath and closed the diary before trying to calm herself down.

She had prayed for days, months even, that Y/N would see her as her mother. The girl was the sweetest child and Nat wanted nothing more than to care for her and love her.

Nat put her face in her hands and quickly wiped her tears of happiness away as she heard footsteps from down the hallway.

Y/N came into the room, surprised to see her favorite Avenger sitting on her bed.

"Natty? What are you doing here?" The young girl asked as she approached the woman. Her expression morphed into a concerned one as the redhead lifted her face to look at the younger one, "Have you been crying?" Y/N asked, concerned (and surprised) about the former assassin's action.

Nat made a 'come here' motion with her hand and Y/N came closer, sitting down next to the woman.

"I, uh, I've stumbled upon a little something and...found something out." Nat said, which worried Y/N even more.

"What is it?" She asked hesitantly.

"You see me as a mom?" Nat broke the ice.

Y/N's mouth opened and closed like the one of a fish that's fresh out of the water, "Uh-." She didn't know what to say. Would Nat be angry if she'd admit it?

"Well... you've just always been here and it just happened." Y/N said quietly as she looked down and played with her fingers.

Nat's face broke into a huge smile and without thinking twice, she hugged the girl tightly and put her forehead on the crown of Y/N's head.

"Thank you." She muttered quietly, her usual cold demeanor melting away.

Y/N was confused about what was happening, but hugged the redhead back nonetheless. They hugged each other for about a minute longer before breaking the embrace.

"You know," Nat began, "you've been like a daughter to me ever since I've met you."

"What?" Y/N asked, stunned, not believing what she just heard.

Nat nodded, the smile still very visible on her face, "Yeah." She whispered.

"So, what's gonna happen now?" Y/N asked her mother figure.

Nat shrugged, "Maybe we'll make it official?" She said hesitantly.

"You mean, as in you want to adopt me?" The younger girl asked.

"If you'd be willing to."

"Nothing would make me happier!" Y/N said loudly before she threw herself into the arms of her future mother.

She couldn't even be mad at Nat looking through her diary; as long as the two were together, now as mother and daughter, she couldn't be any happier.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #platonic #marvel #natasha romanoff x you #the avengers #yours-mythically #black widow x reader

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 6 months

Text

Addiction

Part One: A Chance Encounter

Warnings: Language, mentions of alcohol and being drunk

A/N: Ok, so not smut, but its coming, we have to set the scene first 😉

You felt your phone buzz in your hand, the screen illuminating your face in the dark dining room as you looked through your text messages. You rested your back against the bar located in the corner of the room.

Darien: Wish you were here. London is boring without you

You: That’s impossible. You’re literally in my favorite city right now

Darien: I’ve been in my hotel ever since work ended. My team went out to the pubs without me

You: You should really be going out with them

Darien: Always thought my first time in London would be with you. Love you

You: I-

You were stopped from responding by a glass of liquor being shoved in your face. You looked up to see Sierra in front of you, double fisting two glasses of what you suspected to be a rum and coke, your choice of drink for these industry events. You were among the Hollywood elite tonight in a New York City restaurant, celebrating some actor, whose name you couldn’t bother to remembers, fifth trendy and over-priced alcohol launch. You were far from a celebrity, but often made the guest list of these events on behalf of your boss. Working as the assistant for the VP of publicity at Atlantic Records admittedly had very few perks, one of them being able to rub elbows at parties with the latest TV heartthrob or whoever managed to be at the top of the Billboard 100 chart that week.

Did you sound a little jaded? Sure, but you were also borderline tipsy.

“Was that Darien?”, she asked, looking around the room as she took a small sip from her glass. “Ooh, Bad Bunny. That’s five.” Sierra bounced on her tippy toes as you narrowed your eyes to get a better look across the dark room. The two of you had spent the last hour trying to identify as many celebrities as you could. You were losing, having accidentally mistaken Kevin Jonas for Joe Jonas. You tried to argue that it was an easy mistake, given that they were brothers, but Sierra was unwilling to give you a pass.

“I don’t think that’s Bad Bunny, and yes. He just got done with his meetings for the day. He decided to stay in the hotel for the rest of the night I guess.” You took a big swig of your drink. You way past the part of the night where you were still feeling the effects of alcohol. “All of his colleagues went out to some bars.” You slipped your phone back into your clutch, tucking the bag underneath your arm again. You’d respond to him when you got home later.

“Dull Darien”, Sierra slurred her words as she giggled out the nickname she had given your boyfriend when you started dating over three years ago. You caught her just as she stumbled over her heels, making a mental note to watch how many drinks she had.

Sierra had been your best friend since essentially birth. Your moms were best friends, and you grew up two houses down from one another. When you were kids you were attached at the hip, and not much had changed over the years, as she became your plus one to all of these events. She knew you better than you knew yourself, and she was never shy about how she felt about your boyfriends. There had been Jerky Jacob, your high school boyfriend, Bossy Brian, a guy you had dated right out of college who Sierra was convinced was a narcissist, and finally Two-Timing Trey, who had earned the name for obvious reasons.

“Enough with the nickname, S.” You warned with a dramatic roll of your eyes, knowing she had no intention on stopping. “He’s not dull, he’s just-“ you were having a difficult time finding a word that wouldn’t edge her on. “He’s boring. Just say it. Not an exciting bone in his body.” You opened your mouth to object, but quickly closed it. Truthfully you had no defense. Darien was boring, and that was putting it nicely. The first time you met him, you definitely didn’t feel the usual butterflies of excitement, but you were just getting out of your relationship with Trey, and you weren’t looking for thrill or adventure, you were looking for safety, and if Darien was anything, he was safe.

“I’m just saying, you’re hot as fuck, you could probably have any guy you wanted. Hell, you could probably walk up to any of these celebs and go home with them.” You scoffed, tipping your glass up to get the last drop of top shelf rum. The dress you were wearing was borrowed from one of your stylists friends, a sequin cocktail dress from 16Arlington with a rather large peekaboo cutout at the front that showed off your cleavage. “Did you ever think that maybe I don’t want some random celeb. Maybe I like my dull boyfriend.” Your words sent Sierra into a fit of giggles, partially from her inebriation and partially because she knew you were lying through your teeth. “Please don’t pretend like if Drake came up to you right now, you wouldn’t jump at the chance to leave with him.”

“Damn, my money was gonna be on Brad Pitt. He seems like more your type.” You turned on your heels to see a tall figure, his chestnut curls hitting right at his eyebrows, a frame to his gorgeous blue eyes, the rest of his hair cut into a mullet. You immediately noticed his handsome smile as you studied his face. You had learned early on in your career how to identify which guys were someone and which ones were wannabes in this industry. He was tall enough to be an athlete, but too lanky. He still had life in his eyes, something that a lot of actors lost when they realized they were selling their soul for a recurring role on a CW drama. That left someone in the music industry. You recognized him, his face was hung up in the halls of Atlantic Records, but the name escaped you.

“He’s a little bit out of my age range. I prefer my actors to still have a will to live.” Your joke earned you a chuckle from the-, the mullet suggested alternative band, but the cocky stance and southern drawl to his accent made you think rapper- the rapper. “Well, tell me-“, he paused to allow you to fill the silence with your name. “Y/N, and this is Sierra.” You gestured at your friend who was having trouble standing up straight, her hand gripping the bar to steady herself.

“Well, Y/N, Brad Pits loss is my gain.” His words were suggestive, no doubt, but he spoke with such a confidence, you weren’t sure if he was actually flirting with you, or if that’s just how he talked with everyone. “I’m Jack.” He extended his hand out to you, and you cautiously accepted, quickly breaking apart.

“I know where I know you from. You’re Jack Harlow! I love your song”, she snapped her fingers carelessly, hoping it would jog her memory, “Business Class.” She punctuated her words with a hiccup.

“Close enough.” He chuckled, his gaze never leaving your face. He was trying his hardest not to look down at your body, even though he thought you looked fucking gorgeous. “I thought I recognized you from somewhere.” Jack’s eyebrows perked up when you spoke. “I see your face every day on my way to work.” You could tell you lost him when his face fell. “Sorry, I should probably explain. I work for Jason.” You could see the dots quickly connecting in his mind. “Oh, fuck yeah, I love Jason. He’s keeps me out of trouble.”

You felt your phone vibrate against your side. You were inclined to ignore it until you felt it pulse a few more times. “Sorry, I have to get this.” You just missed Jack’s look of disappointment as you looked down at your phone.

Darien: Couple of pictures of the view from my hotel. Wish you were here.

You scrolled through the photos, all different, slightly out of focus angles of the Thames. Leave it to Darien to also take the most boring pictures.

“Must be really important.” Your head shot back up at Jack, who was now resting his elbows atop the bar. “Oh, it’s nothing.” You shook your head as your phone slipped back into your bag. “Just a family member.” You weren’t sure why you lied in the moment. Jack didn’t know you, and besides the initial flirting, he wasn’t trying to make a pass at you. At least as far as you could tell; you were just starting to sober up.

“Let’s ask Jack.” Sierra was now standing in the middle of the two of you, leaning a little too close to Jack for comfort. He backed up as he smelled the vodka on her breath. “Jack, Y/N is dating this guy right now, and I think he’s just the most boring person on the planet.” Jack looked at you with a smirk on his face as you tried to hide your embarrassment, feeling the heat creep up your neck. Jack was hotter than any guy you had previously dated and was already more exciting than your current boyfriend just in five minutes of conversation.

“I mean, the only thing he likes talking about is Game of Thrones and his Lego collection.” Sierra continued, ignoring your pokes to her side to get her to shut up.

“He sounds like a fucking nerd.” Jack uttered under his breath, but you heard him loud and clear. Sierra did as well, frantically nodding her head. “He totally is.” She lowered her head, most likely thinking that was going to help her whisper, but her next words were loud above the blaring music. “Plus, she told me the sex is terrible. Like he barely lasts for more than a couple minutes.” You caught the look of smugness on Jack’s face as he listened to how unsatisfying your current sex life was.

“Okay, I think that’s enough. Time for you to go home.” You yanked at Sierra’s arm, causing her to fall into Jack. He caught her just in time, helping to hold her up. You roughly grabbed her phone out of her hand, pulling up the Uber app. “Fuck”, you cursed under your breath, seeing that the closest Uber was about 30 minutes away and surge pricing had gone into effect.

“Hey, I’ve got a car waiting that you guys are more than welcome to use to get back to your place.” Jack could tell you were more than done with the night, and he hoped his gesture would smooth out your less than successful meet cute. “Are you sure, we really can wait for an Uber.” As if she had timed it, Sierra’s knees buckled, Jack catching her under her arms. “I’m sure.

****

You rubbed your hands up and down your arms, crossing them over your chest as you left the venue. It was colder now than when you arrived, and you were wishing you had that coat that was laying on your bed back at your apartment. Jack followed behind you, Sierra’s arm draped over his shoulders for support. You quickly located the black SUV waiting at the curb, and opened the door, watching as Jack helped Sierra into the back of the vehicle, immediately slumping over to lay across the seats.

“Thanks, Jack, I really appreciate you letting us borrow your car. How are you gonna get back?” You looked at your feet as you asked the question, resisting the urge to look up at his face; his eyes were even brighter underneath the streetlights.

“I’m actually staying right there.” He pointed across the street to a tall metropolitan style building, the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. He stuck his hands into the front pocket of his trouser pants, his shoulders pinned to his ears as he tried to stay warm as well. “The car was just in case I wanted to head to another party, but the hotel bed sounds a lot more appealing right now.” There was that tone again, so suggestive, as if he was inviting you to his hotel room as well. “Have a good night, Y/N. Hope I see you again.” He extended his hand out, his nails perfectly manicured, and you found yourself wondering what his hands would feel like exploring your body. You let that thought ruminate in your head for a second before coming back to reality. You grabbed his hand, returning the gesture, the two of you lingering on the sidewalk. “Goodnight.”

Jack watched as you climbed into the vehicle next to Sierra, before jogging across the street to his hotel.

“He seemed like a nice guy”, Sierra remarked as she rested her head against your shoulder, closing her eyes, “and he was hot as fuck.” She let out a hum of amusement as she started to drift off to sleep.

“Yeah, such a nice guy.” You flipped the room key around in your hand that Jack had planted there. You grazed your thumb over the engraved letters, “The Waldorf Astoria Hotel, Room 1423”, emblazoned in gold lettering on the plastic card.

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#jack harlow #jackman thomas harlow #jackharlow #jackman harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfic

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radioisntdead · 1 month

Note

Eeeeee oki, so I just finished watching boy swallows universe (an absolute masterpiece) and I was wondering what if the reader was like sold drugs or just did bad stuff for money for their family, like they grew up pretty fricking poor and did whatever they could for the extra cash (which is why they're in hell). They die somehow, land in hell and get treated like absolute dirt because they're small and they're wearing plain ass clothes, not powerful at all. Then comes Susan, and she's like "I'm so sick of the pathetic youth today, I'm taking you home with me" and just teaches them how to be proper and less shy and stuff, and to tear people with their teeth (yhey never got used to the whole eating people thing, Susan rolled her eyes and asked if she was a vagitarian or whatever it was called) and this reader hardly talks to anyone but Susan. Then they get introduced to Rosie and Alastor and it's just Susan simultaneously boasting about them telling them to stand up straight

Good evening my dear! This is definitely one of my favorite requests that I have gotten,

I finished boy swallows universe while writing this and I cried, I'm trying to convince my best friend to watch it now, it was very good.

I'm imagining the reader to be around the size of Niffty, maybe a little taller?

Susan's grandkid

Susan & reader

WARNINGS!!

Drug usage, child neglect, cannibalism, murder etc etc Susan kinda treats you as a stray pet in the beginning, not proofread so apologies for any spelling mistakes!

You died young, tragically young, you died in the winter, cornered away curled into a ball, clutching your stomach, wearing a old thin sweater that your older brother gave you, overalls, flimsy socks with a couple of holes in them, and worn down sneakers, you were beaten and bruised, you wanted your mom to hold you and tell you that everything was alright but she wasn't coming,

Did she know where you were? How would she react knowing her kid was gone?

You were a good kid, you just made a couple of bad decisions for your family, you mimicked what you saw,

No one ever suspected the kid with a babyface was dealing, getting involved in shady stuff and horrible, horrible people who couldn't care less that you couldn't even drink yet.

You woke up with brimstone and sulfur around and a dingy old sign saying welcome to hell, It was unfair.

You wondered around aimlessly, you were small enough that most folks didn't notice you at first, and those that did well, they either ignored you completely, tried to kick or spit on you, or something else you didn't want to know.

You stumbled upon a mirror, you looked...

different from when you were alive, alot shorter, you kept the same clothes you died in though, it was a struggle the first few days but you managed to stay alive and relatively unharmed, you always were resourceful.

Eventually you ended up on the cusp of cannibal town, your overalls were covered in dirt and whatever else, you were curled up against to some wall when she found you, in all her old woman glory.

"Good grief youth today is pathetic, how'd you even get down here you little shit?" she tsked as she bent down and picked you up by your overalls, you barely had a chance to react before she put you on her hip and continued her way home.

She didn't put you down as she entered her home claiming that you'd get mud on her floors,

She filled up her bathtub with warm water and bubbles, she took off your shoes and plopped you right in the tub, she put a glob of shampoo into your hair and foamed it up like one would bathe a pet.

She left the bathroom as you looked around the bathroom , confused on why this random old lady just picked you up like a soggy stray dog and dunked you into warm water, and put soap in your hair.

You weren't complaining by any means but you were caught off-guard.

She came back within a few minutes carrying children's clothing like the other cannibals wore, she washed your hair and your back, scrubbing off the grime, she dried you off and put the clothes on you, the next few hours were a blur, she picked you up, sat you at a table and placed what looked to be part of a raw arm on your plate.

You stared at it while she went ahead and dug it,

She raised an eyebrow, "you one of those vegetable people?"

You shook your head, poking at the arm slice

"Speak up, are you mute?"

You look up at her, "No ma'am."

"Speak up you sound like a mouse, now use those teeth of yours and eat."

You simply nodded and opened your mouth to dig into the arm,

You'd rather not eat what you assumed to be another person but you hadn't eaten in days and well, it was rude to refuse a free meal, right?

After the meal Susan handed you a toothbrush and told you to brush, giving you a set of pajamas to change into before leaving you to do a night routine,

Once done she picked you up and tucked you into a bed, turning off the lights and closing the door leaving you in pitch black darkness.

Living with Susan wasn't particularly easy but it was better then when you were alive, you didn't have to worry where your next meal came from, or maybe you did considering Susan had a diet of sinner meat, you didn't have to worry about not making ends meet, about the possibility of the folks you dealt too coming for you,

You did miss your family terribly though, you wondered if they missed you, or if they've found your corpse yet, maybe you were permanently put as a missing person, maybe you were chopped up into pieces,You didn't want to know.

Susan would teach you how to properly eat someone, you already had sharp teeth so you were a quick learner in that regard [Although you did prefer normal food]

You would cower behind her and she'd grab you by your shoulder and move you Infront of her, telling you to stand up straight, smacking your lower back with her cane if needed, some days She'd place a book on your head and have you practice walking around with it to correct your posture.

You wouldn't talk much at first but soon became a chatterbox with Susan, and mostly only Susan, keeping talking to others at a minimum unless Susan made you, she paraded you around cannibal town getting you used to the tight-knit community.

You soon went from a rather timid and frankly weak child to a more confident person, Susan wasn't usually seen without you skipping along behind her, eventually once she deemed you as proper she took you to Rosie's Emporium to introduce you to her and obviously get some treats,

"This is [Name] I got them off the streets and I made em' into a proper member of society, [Name] stand up straight, say hello"

Susan said moving you to the front where Rosie was,

"Hello."

Rosie immediately adored you, after all you were small enough to put in her pocket, she leaned down to shake your hand, and in that time

Susan proceeded to accidentally left you at the emporium and Rosie saw her chance and took it,

"Well aren't you adorable! Let Auntie Rosie spoil you, okay?"

Within seconds you were sat in a comfy chair with a plate of cannibalistic desserts infront of you and Rosie across from you, chatting until Susan came back for you two hours later.

She knew she left you after like five minutes she just didn't want to make the trip back and let Rosie babysit you.

Another time she took you to Rosie's Emporium the infamous radio demon was there, and while you didn't particularly know much about overlords and the like since you mainly stuck with Susan, or in the safe parts of cannibal town, you did know that overlords were more or less dangerous,

Susan did not care though and immediately started insulting the radio demon,

"Why don't you have a wife yet? Do you not like woman? Then why don't you have a husband then??"

"Susan, I believe that's none of your-"

"It's because you don't brush your fucking teeth isn't it,"

"Susan-"

"You probably blind all the ladies looking like Rudolph's nose"

"Excuse me?"

You quickly intervene before Susan ends up being the radio man's dinner, Alastor tilts his head at you and bends down,

"And who is this Little one?"

Susan moves you Infront of her and puts her cane between you and Alastor,

"My grandchild, they're very well-mannered unlike you now get away before you influence them to listen to your modern jazz music"

"̵̢̯̫͕̀̀̓̕M̷̧̧͎̬̹̦͚̺̼̳͊͒̽̌̅͑́̕͘ỹ̶̱̮͙̕ ̴͇̹̣͙̖̉̽̏̊͜m̸̡̧̱̲̱͔͉̲̫͋́̄̎̄̔̈̈́͠ö̵̢̢̙͍̩̩̮̺́̃̿̎ḑ̵̰̪͎̀̿̔͊̒͛̄ͅͅͅę̸̪́ř̴̛̳̥̭̼̌͊̄̉̑̽̇̚n̴͕̥̗̻͕̊̅͐̒̂̌͆̚̚͜͠ ̵̛̪̹̔̈́̈́͂͝͝Ẃ̸̽̓̈́̾͂ͅH̵̨̢̯̳̗̦͕̭̯̑̈͆̇̚̕̚Ḁ̸͍̱̩̠̼͚̾̉̚T̵̥̠͓͛͊"̸̛͎̼̺́̔̀̎͛̀̈̕͠

Thankfully Rosie soon appeared before Alastor and Susan could get into a brawl,

She handed you a lil' box of treats and sent you on your way with Susan.

A very polite way to get kicked out in your opinion,

The next time you see Alastor he brings Niffty, trying to get her to influence you enough to drive Susan to insanity.

It backfired.

You, on the rare occasions you roam outside of cannibal town you see someone you may have known during life, you usually don't interact with them, but sometimes they recognize you too, they give a look of mixed disbelief, pity and guilt or just indifference, you made similar decisions to them.

You saw a member of your family, trying to sell something on the streets one time, you went up to them with the confidence of Susan talking to Alastor,

You know they recognized you, you may look different but you were still you, just better then before.

Their face dropped seeing you, filled with guilt and shame, you weren't supposed to be down here, of all places, you should've gotten to live to be old and wrinkly, shaking their head they shoo'd you away in what you assumed was a way to tell you to move on, make the best of your afterlife.

"I don't know you, now shoo' go home."

When you got home to Susan making cannibal meatloaf, nagging you about getting home in a timely manner as you take off your shoes and place them by the door, it gives you a somewhat nostalgic feeling,

You may never seeing the majority of your family again, after all maybe they're in heaven or below with you,

They'll always be your family and while they weren't perfect but they loved you, and you loved them, and you always will even if you were apart.

And now you had a new family member, Your Grandma Susan,

And you loved her, and while she didn't outwardly say it, you knew through her actions of making you a scarf, bringing you a bowl of peeled or cut fruit, or something else, she loved you too.

good evening folks! Hope you enjoyed this, I'm making my way through the requests now so tune on in later for those!

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #susan & reader #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel susan #hazbin susan #hazbin rosie

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callumsgirl · 1 month

Text

Beautiful Things...that I've got

pairing: Austin Butler x female reader (Elizabeth)

summary: Elizabeth is young and beautiful when she starts a bartender job at the Rough Wheel. A dimly lit bar known for its jukeboxes, pool tables and the Outlaw MC drinking and hanging around.

Elizabeth had been working at the bar for two months and had had a crush on Austin ever since she first saw him playing pool and he called her a Babydoll in a raspy, warm voice, and handed her his credit card. It only got worse from that moment on, because to say Elizabeth was inexperienced with men was an understatement. She was 21, unkissed and a virgin, and Outlaw's number two had it in for her.

warnings: mostly flirting, age gab (21 y.o. and 33 y.o.), light and heavy smut, kissing, sexual unexperienced woman, virgin woman, first sexual experiences, some hard wording, use of pet names, fist fight, blood and smut, tears and mental pain

word count: 15,7 k

A/N: English is my second language. Please have mercy with me!

POV Elizabeth // Chicago, USA

Today is my two month anniversary, and all of my classes at the college are going pretty well for me. My grades are impeccable, I'm almost done writing my senior thesis, and I've made $60 in tips in my last two shifts.

Also, my mother had finally stopped trying to fix me up with a smart young man from her church. She tries to do that all the time and it's annoying. Mom always wants to get me a good match. She's hopelessly romantic. I let out a silent sigh. After combing my hair, I put it up in a plait. A young woman with moss-green eyes and freckles on her cheeks looks at me in the mirror. Hoping to look halfway decent next to the other female waitresses and earn a few dollars in tips, I dab a little lip gloss on my lips.

I'm wearing my favourite dress. It's red, cute and not too short for working behind the bar. I made the mistake of wearing a skirt that was too short once in my first week at the bar…and it was awkward and disgusting when Jimmy - that weird old guy who always sits at the bar - saw my half-naked bum.

Since then I've only worn jeans, skirts or dresses that cover my thighs. I'm also the only one of the waitresses who doesn't wear red lipstick. Callie, a bartender friend of mine, thinks I'm a prude and pretty stupid to miss out on all the tips just because I don't want to wear red lipstick.

To be honest, I need every cent, but I'm not going to earn it by wearing red lipstick, batting my eyes and sitting on some guy's lap. I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.

I take one last look in the mirror before I leave the student hall of residence and get on my bike to cycle to the bar. My shift starts at 6pm and it takes me about 20 minutes on my bike.

When I arrive at the bar, it's still quiet and empty. I put my bag in my locker, tie an apron around my waist and start taking stock of the alcoholic drinks and snacks.

Just as I'm ticking off the last few lines of the list, Callie comes into the bar and smiles at me. She is tall, athletic and has flawless skin. Her full lips are all glossy and dark red. Callie looks beautiful and sexy without much effort. Life can be really cruel. I curl my lips a little enviously.

"Hey sweet girl. You look pretty. Did you put the dress on for Austin?" she teases me and winks as her hands clasp the hem of my red dress and she strokes it. She really winks at me!

I shake my head gently and feel my cheeks flush.

Damn it. Calm down Elizabeth, I think and give her a shy smile. Just one comment about Austin and my heartbeat goes out of control and I look like a tomato.

Sometimes I think she has an idea of how sheltered I grew up. That my parents kept me a million miles away from all the boys, that all I had to worry about was making sure I got good grades. But then she winks at me and makes these… comments about red lips and that I work in a bar full of hot bikers.

This bar is definitely a place my parents would never have let me go. Plus, this bar is far from my parents' idea of where I should work and who I should hang out with. But I haven't told them about my job yet.

The hourly wage is okay. The tips don't make me rich, but it helps me get through the month and I'm certainly not going to call my parents and ask for a dime.

I bite the inside of my cheek and lower my eyes, embarrassed. "Don't be silly, Callie," I laugh nervously. "I'm wearing this dress because I like it. Austin wouldn't even look at me if I - I gesture in her direction with my pen in hand, pursing my lips at her revealing outfit. "…if I wore something like you. It just doesn't suit me." I can feel my cheeks getting even hotter and quickly brush a loose strand of hair that has come loose from my plait behind my ear.

"You're joking, aren't you?" she asks, raising an eyebrow curiously. Her make-up is striking and dark. Her green eyes look so hypnotizing and intense with the black eyeliner and her red lips distract me.

I shake my head again and turn to more important tasks. Namely, finally getting through this list before the bar fills up.

"No," I reply and shrug my shoulders. "It's obvious that I don't fit in here and I'm sure no one here is interested in me. Look at me." I can't help but smile. It's obvious that I grew up differently and don't belong here. I stand out with my freckles, my clothes and the fact that I hardly wear any make-up. I often feel out of place. That's often the case. I press my lips together.

Callie smirks and brushes another strand of hair out of my face. "You're really sweet, Lizzie, and naïve," she says, pinching my cheek.

I gasp indignantly and frown. "What?" I ask in shock and blink at her. She can't be serious, can she?

"You're clever, and pretty, and cute. You're a lot more dangerous to the boys here than you think. Plus a lot of the men calling you by pet names. It's a good sign and more money for you, sweet girl." Then Callie turns her back to me and starts polishing beer glasses.

What nonsense, I think to myself and stare at her for a few more seconds until I get back to work.

Two hours later, the bar is overcrowded and I'm mixing various drinks in piecework time. I cut fresh lemon slices and decorate cocktail glasses. Then I pour beer and polish glasses again.

The air is warm, stale and when the front door opens again, a cool breeze blows over my heated, slightly sweaty skin. Only now do I realize how out of breath I actually am and how hungry I am. As if on cue, my stomach grumbles and I sigh in bittersweet despair. My break isn't for another two hours and judging by the rush at the bar, I'll be making a lot more cocktails before then. I let out another sigh and chew on my lower lip. The thought of my turkey sandwiches in my rucksack makes my stomach growl and I feel sick.

I roll my eyes. Pull yourself together, Elizabeth.

Then I work through the customers' drinks requests. I mix cocktails and pour beer. I fill the ice and lemons, rinse the glasses and polish them afterwards. Another blonde comes to the bar and waves for a waitress. Just as I'm about to approach her, Callie comes towards me and sends me on my break. Thank God!

I devour my sandwich and an apple during my short break between the current swing and the next. Then I stand behind the bar again and push full glasses across the counter. I'm slicing up more lemons and limes when someone throws a penny into the jukebox and selects a song. This Live by Curtis Stigers.

It's loud in here and it's hard to hear the music, but when the first sounds come through to me, I know immediately that he is here. Only one person in the bar would dare to play just this one song. I exhale loudly and my fingers tremble as I place the lemon and lime slices in a bowl.

My eyes sting slightly and I squint. While everything around me is black and yet so loud, I try to calm my frayed nerves. My heartbeat speeds up and a shiver runs down my spine. I bite my lower lip and whirl around to the counter as a woman's voice calls for the waitress again.

I see him out of the corner of my eye as I'm mixing two Bloody Marys. "Have a nice evening," I murmur in a loud voice and push the glasses over to the blonde woman waiting impatiently for her drinks.

As soon as she's gone, I wipe my hands on my apron and take two or three steps to the left. From here I can see the pool table, and I swallow hard when I recognize Austin among the bikers. It's not unusual for the MC to come here, but it's nerve-wracking for me. It's the closest I've ever been to a bunch of law-breakers on roaring motorcycles.

Young - and attractive, very attractive. He is tall, wears washed-out blue jeans and a black sleeveless top, with his biker jacket over it and has dark blond unruly hair and crazy blue eyes with which he surveys the entire bar.

I take another step closer to the end of the counter and scrutinize him. Describing Austin as handsome doesn't even begin to do him justice. I bite my lip and continue to stare. I don't normally do this, but I can't help myself…he's just so good looking.

"Oh, my God," I moan softly and lean over the bar a little, standing on my tiptoes as Austin takes the pool stick from a younger guy. A prospect I guess. They're all wearing biker jackets and I can feel my pulse fluttering under my skin.

The jackets of the older members are decorated with various patches and the prospects wear completely naked jackets. I don't really know much about life in an MC, but I've overheard conversations from the girls at the bar and know that the prospects have to earn their patches. With character and courage, sometimes with strangely dangerous tasks and other times they have to take a beating. I think it's exaggerated and dangerous, but nobody asks me.

"Damn, kiss me, fuck me," I sigh and watch as he leans his upper body over the pool table, focuses on the balls in front of him and then shoots. An electric wave rushes through my entire body and I press my lips together helplessly.

"Yeah, you'd like that," Callie suddenly mumbles behind me, scaring the hell out of me. I don't even know that I said it out loud.

But Austin isn't paying any attention to me and is smoking his cigarettes and playing pool with his boys. I press my lips and eyes together in shame and turn to face to Callie. "I didn't…"

"Shut up, sweet girl," she puts a finger to my lips and leans closer to me, her lips almost touching my cheek as she murmurs in my ear: "I'd fuck him too. He's really hot."

The two of us watch Austin as he leans on the edge of the pool table with both arms. The subdued light makes shadows dance across the deep ridges of his muscles. His muscles are firm and pronounced and as he slowly raises his head, mumbles something to himself and shoos one of the contenders away, our eyes meet. I need a moment to find my voice again. If this man had any semblance of a middle-class and less dangerous life, I would probably throw myself at him. But he lives for the MC and that… is not for me.

I have been crushing on him since the first night he handed me his credit card, called me with a raspy voice Babgirl for once, and asked me to start a tab for him. That was the starting point and it only got worse from there.

I gasp out loud - once again I feel caught out tonight and as the corners of his mouth lift slowly and sensually, his lips curl into a knowing, dirty smile, my stomach tightens. I stumble back half a step and bump my back against Callie's torso.

"Sorry," I mumble breathlessly and turn around in a flash. I disappear into the break room and sit there for five minutes until my heart rate calms down.

Pull yourself together, my sense of honor whispers to me and pulls my shoulders back. It raises its little chin to the sky and then gives me an encouraging nod. Get out there and keep serving drinks, Elizabeth.

I have regained some control of myself as I step behind the bar. It takes all my mental strength not to turn my head and look back at the pool table, but I persevere. Over the next half hour, I continue to serve drinks and the memories of Austin are pushed back into my mind. However, the biting feeling of shame in my chest continues to remind me that I've made an idiot of myself.

That's just the way you are, the cynical little voice in my head etches, jabbing me in the ribs. Prudish, untouched and not wanted.

Austin is in a different league to me. I scrape together the last shreds of self-respect and lock all my thoughts of him away in a little box in the back of my head.

I am overcome with nausea and only by taking deep breaths do I manage to shake off the feeling. I turn to polishing more glasses when I suddenly feel a dark, slightly cheerful and vibrant presence behind me. My back muscles tense up and I lift my chin slightly. My senses are on alert.

I hope it's not Jimmy again, I think wistfully and curl my lips into an unpleasant grimace. Just as I've mentally resigned myself to having to deal with Jimmy today, I hear a pleasantly hoarse voice murmur: "Hey Babydoll, are you free?"

I stifle an annoyed groan and grit my teeth. Then I breathe in and out quietly before I start draining another glass of beer. Austin called me Babydoll, again and a tiny part of me likes it. Very much so. Apart from the life he leads, which I absolutely don't want for myself, he's insanely handsome. I mean, what's the big deal if I look at him from time to time. As far as I know, no one has ever died from being adored from afar. My self-esteem grinds its teeth alarmingly and crosses its arms in front of its chest. I shake my head slightly, worried about the direction my thoughts are taking, and grab another glass to polish. "I'm busy. Please leave me alone."

"Doesn't look particularly busy," Austin replies. "If you're already behind the bar-"

The day had started so well and now - after my embarrassing reaction to what? A brief eye contact and I'm done. I interrupt him, annoyed and angry at the lapse in my self-control. In one fluid motion, I turn to him and the words flow uninhibited from my lips: "Then what, asshole?"

Shit! I'm fucked, I think the moment I recognize my words. I open my eyes. My subconscious lifts its little head in shock and stares back and forth between me and Austin. It's completely beside itself and hisses angrily: Are you crazy? I stumble a step back and my butt bang against the back of the bar. My hands are shaking and I barely manage to put the glass of beer down on the counter.

A few seconds pass and everything around me suddenly happens in slow motion. The music is muffled and only reaches me to a limited extent, the shouts of the waiting guests are far away and the laughter over at the pool table barely touches me.

"Asshole, hmm? I wouldn't have trusted you to have such a dirty mouth, babygirl." Austin's ice-blue eyes scrutinize me attentively. The intensity of his gaze and demeanor gives me the creeps.

"Don't call me, babygirl", I grumble angrily. Then I hesitate and lower my gaze. I stare at my sneakers and then raise my head again, heart pounding. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have insulted you."

"Ohh, you can call me whatever you want. I've been called far worse," he laughs lightly and licks his lips.

Oh, I can immediately think of some suitable names; arrogant idiot, fool, arrogant ass…I follow the movements of his body and watch as he rests his elbows on the counter, his muscles bulging, and then murmurs dangerously darkly, "Why not? Do you have a boyfriend I should know about?"

"What?" I squeak and blink like crazy. "Do I what?", I add. My gaze is still glued to his lips. Wow, what pink, full lips. I wonder how they would feel on mine....hmm. Stop! I squint my eyes. No, I think angrily. He's a tease and he's making fun of me.

"Do you have a boyfriend, little girl?" he asks again, continuing to look me in the eye intensely as he leans a little further over the counter and reaches for a bottle of brandy.

"Hey," I grumble. "Put it back down," I demand of him and there's that amused glint in his eyes again. To my surprise, or perhaps more likely his own, he puts the bottle back down and raises his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. At least make me a drink."

I snort and step hesitantly on the spot. None of my colleagues seem to have noticed what's going on between him and me.

Then it suddenly occurs to me that he could get me fired quicker than I'd like. A nasty look from him and Tom, the owner will sack me. I lower my eyes to my feet once more and then tighten my shoulders. I take two steps to the front bar and pick up the bottle of brandy.

"With cola? With ice?," I ask and take a heavy crystal glass from one of the lower cupboards.

"No, just ice," he shakes his head and as I pour the brandy into the glass, he doesn't take his eyes off me. As I break some ice in the cooler, I don't notice how he slowly raises his left arm and shortly afterwards I feel his rough, warm knuckles on my cheek. When his knuckles touch my skin, I feel like sparks are flying. Embarrassed, I pull my head back. Must have been static energy. I blink, about as fast as my heart is beating. I lift my head slightly and look at him with a slightly trembling lower lip.

"What are you doing?", I whisper. "Please stop." I turn my head slightly to avoid his touch, even though it burns me and feels good.

Again, he doesn't answer my question. Instead, he repeats his, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Why does he want to know? He's certainly not checking out his chances with me. I inwardly roll my eyes at this unnecessary comment and the clear side-swipe from my subconscious.

I sigh half annoyed at his arrogance, half shocked that he's touching me. "No, I don't have a boyfriend. Please let go of me."

"That's a real shame," he murmurs, his husky voice doing strangely heated things to me. I'm blinking too fast, breathing too loudly and my hands are shaking badly as I put the full brandy glass on the counter and push it over to him. "You have really nice lips. Not as made up as the other girls here."

I turn deep red. Once again, and when he recognizes the heated glow on my cheeks, he finally leans back slowly. But before his knuckles leave my cheek, his thumb brushes over my bottom lip, tracing its outline. My breath catches and I can't move. Austin raises the glass to his lips and takes a small sip. "That really is a waste, babygirl," he replies, and I swallow hard.

As soon as the meaning of his words get through to me, I tear myself away from him. With unsteady legs, I stumble back and slap his hand away. "Stop it. I'm not one of your whores!"

I feel hurt and humiliated. Really offended by his words.

His eyes flash in astonishment. His slapped hand hovers in the air for a few moments and then he lowers it. He still looks unimpressed and completely calm. But the expression in his blue eyes has changed. In addition to the glitter, shadows now dance in his eyes and it's really creepy.

I really did beat him. Fuck!

Well, not really, but it was wrong. Now he has every reason to have me thrown out.

He strokes his own lip with the thumb that was just touching mine. The way he strokes his lips is hypnotizing and dangerous at the same time. "Hmmm… you're not really," he murmurs, fixing me very slowly. "If you were one, my hands would be around your pretty, slender neck right now."

He can't possibly be serious. My pulse quickens. Why is he upsetting me like this? Is it because of his outrageously good looks? Is it his penetrating gaze? Or is it because he keeps tracing his lower lip with his thumb and glaring at me menacingly? Can't he finally stop doing that?

I catch my breath and unconsciously lift my own hands to my neck. He grins wickedly. "Exactly… I would squeeze and squeeze until your eyes glaze over and your beautiful lips open slightly. I would make you beg and punish you", he confirms without any humor in his voice and stares at me.

"You're physotic," I reply in a low voice. I hardly trust my own voice anymore. The words slip out before I can stop them.

He gently shakes his head again, amused by my choice of words. Then everything happens very quickly. Austin leans over the bar again and grabs my wrist, pulling me towards him with a jerk. The tips of my feet touch the baseboard of the bar and I gasp in his face, startled and frightened.

I blink around, looking for help, but still no one is looking after me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Callie at the other end of the bar and I want to call out to her, but one look into Austin's eyes and I fall silent. He raises his free hand and brushes a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. My whole body trembles with tension and sheer fear.

"No, I'm not," he contradicts me. "I just grew up differently to you, babygirl," he explains, lowering his eyelids briefly. His voice is surprisingly soft. Austin stares at the neckline of my dress from above and can see my breasts rising and falling quickly. Then his eyes fall on my necklace. He licks his lips and takes the small cross between his fingers.

I expect him to say some stupid line about God and Jesus, but none of it comes out of his lips. Instead, he leans down so that his cheek brushes my chin and I raise my hands, clasping his wrist as he strokes my lips. "Just as innocent and pure as I suspected."

"You don't know anything about me", I stutter and in the next moment, I close my eyes and press my lips together. God, how can anyone be as stupid as me?

Austin is grinning and he is so close to me that I can breathe in his scent. He smells intoxicatingly of aftershave, soap and engine oil. I greedily soak up the smell.

"Oh no?" he asks, amused. "Then listen carefully Elizabeth. You're young, so damn pretty and innocent. I could have you broken and floating in five fucking minutes. Don't tell me you're a bad girl who kisses random strange men and spreads her legs," he stops and I jerk my eyes open. Austin leans back enough to look me in the eye again. "You're pure, you're perfect, and yet you're in this fucked up place…with me."

"Please let go off me", I beg.

Austin tilts his head slightly and looks at me. "You've got my attention now and I'm not done with you yet."

His words are both a threat and a promise. What does it all mean?

There are so many confusing thoughts chasing around in my head. I can't bring order to the chaos and when Austin brushes my lips again, muscles I didn't know I had tighten deep inside. "Do you know what the problem is with beautiful things in life, Elizabeth?"

I shake my head, barely noticing. Somehow I fear something bad and I try to pull away from him. The corners of his mouth twitch again. Sick bastard! He's having way too much fun with this whole thing. Intimidating young women like me and making fools of them is probably one of his habits. Austin smiles, fascinated, and loosens his grip on my wrist. A brief illusion of control and freedom that I try to take advantage of. I tug and tug, but he tightens his grip again.

"Shh, shh," he whispers. "You don't have to panic, babygirl. Just answer my question."

"I don't know, what's with the beautiful things, Austin?" I sound much whinier than I would like and shrug my shoulders cluelessly. I just want to get out of this bar and crawl into my little bed in the dorm.

"They are only beautiful until they are broken. What will break you?"

He loosens his grip and slowly lets go of me. I immediately increase the distance to him and wipe my palms over my cheeks. There are a few tears and I quickly wipe them away. Then I rub my wrist gently and look at him, scared and angry.

There is a satisfied, ashamed grin on his lips as he stands up and pushes the brandy glass over the counter. He toasts me and strolls back to the pool table.

I wrap my arms around my torso and try miserably to calm my nerves and my raging heartbeat. I just want to get out of here and wash the entire day off my skin. But when I look over at the wall clock, it's only 11 p.m.

I keep glancing nervously over my shoulder and catch Austin staring in my direction. Maybe this is another one of his strange habits, I think distractedly and purse my lips.

Then a rarely romantic thought rises up in the depths of my mind and I wonder if there is any hope left that there is still some light shimmering in Austin. I'm naïve, but not naïve enough to think I can change him. I realized early on that I'm not the girl that guys quit their jobs or move across the country for. A guy certainly wouldn't give up his lifestyle and values for me. Not when it involves motorcycling and a god damn MC.

It's after midnight when Callie goes into the break and the bar is half empty. I start refilling a few shots, washing glasses and wiping down the bar. When I've done everything behind the bar, I grab a fresh cloth and start wiping down the empty tables in the entrance area. I replace the burnt-out candles with new ones and refill the serving dispenser and cutlery.

It takes me about ten minutes to finish the first tables and say goodbye to the other regulars. Austin and his biker friends are still there. While some continue to play pool or darts, Austin sits on a chair. He sits upside down on it and leans his arms over the backrest, holding a half-empty glass in one hand. A cigarette burns between his lips and I quickly look away from him when I realize how much I'm staring at him. Just after… everything.

"This is so stupid," I mutter to myself after turning my back on him. "Get over him , Elizabeth!" I wipe down the next tables. Some have stains, others are sticky. I scrub like crazy. I'm finally done, my hands a little rough and dry from the detergent. Just as I'm about to disappear behind the counter, I bump into a guy.

I squeak, startled, and stammer: "Sorry, I didn't see you."

"No problem," a pleasantly warm voice replies, and I feel two large hands on my upper arms, gently pushing me back a few steps. "Didn't see you, sweetheart."

I think his name is Benny. He's so young and a prospect in the MC. He does the dirty work and has to be pushed around by the older members.

But for what?, I ask myself.

I take a closer look at him and notice that he has a nice smile, even though he's completely drunk. His brown, wispy hair sticks out in all directions. His dark eyes are narrowed.

"It's okay," I smile. "Maybe you should go home. You've had a lot to drink," I suggest in a cautious voice.

He looks at me silently for a breath, maybe two. Then he nods slightly and makes a slightly snivelling face. "I can't leave until the others do. That's what being new is like."

"Ohh," I gasp in surprise. "I didn't know that."

"It's alright", he reply. "You're really pretty by the way", Benny adds.

His thumbs rub lightly over my bare upper arms and I start to shiver. I tilt my head back slightly and giggle. "Really?" I ask. "Am I pretty?"

He frowns in confusion. "Yeah…"

"Benny, come here." A harsh, hoarse voice cuts through the air. I feel Benny's fingers tighten around my upper arms. Inevitably, I hold my breath and take half a step back. Benny drops his arms and when his hands leave my skin, I feel a chill run through me.

"I'm sorry," he begins. But once again his words are interrupted by Austin's hoarse, strained voice. I press my lips together and close my eyes.

"It was nice talking to you, Benny." I say with a small smile and circle around him.

Just before I stand behind the bar again, he murmurs in a q uiet voice, "I'd like to talk to you more often."

The corners of my mouth twitch and for the first time in a few hours, something feels normal, and nice. I nod slightly, "Okay Benny."

From a distance, I hear a chair scraping loudly across the wooden floor, and then Austin appears in the corner of my eye. He comes towards me with determined steps and I open my eyes in shock as he stretches out an arm and jerks Benny around by the shoulder. For a fraction of a moment, Benny is completely surprised, then he tries in vain to push Austin away from him. Austin wraps a hand around Benny's neck and holds him tight. But it is futile. Austin presses him closer to his chest and his lips almost touch the shell of Benny's ear as he whispers hoarsely in his ear. Meanwhile, his icy blue eyes lock on me. An unstoppable storm rages in them and I stumble back.

Benny looks completely tense. He nods mechanically to everything Austin hisses into his ear. Then Austin lets go of Benny's neck. I breathe a sigh of relief. My heart is pounding in my throat as Austin presses Benny's cheek flat against the sticky counter with a deafening slap. Benny groans painfully, but makes no sign of resisting.

"Do you hear me?" Austin hisses angrily. "You will never talk to her or look at her again or I'll break more than your fucking ribs."

"Austin," I scream, terrified. "He didn't do anything."

"Shut up, baby girl. He needs to learn his place." For a split second, I see something like humility and remorse in his eyes. Then it's gone, leaving behind the dark shadows and the raw aggression that runs through his veins.

I stumble back a few more steps until my legs hit the back of the counter. My fingers rebel as I clutch my hands hard around the edge of the counter, turning my head to the side as Austin pushes it down on the counter once more. A whimper escapes me and I immediately slap my hands over my face.

"Now take it like a man, Benny," he demands and lets him go. Austin takes a few steps away from him and takes off his jacket. He hands it to a guy with a long white beard. I think his name is Hank.

The scene in front of me makes no sense to me at all. I want to intervene and object, but I don't understand what this is all about. My lips open, but I close my mouth again. What should I say?

The other bikers have now also stood up and some of them, mainly the older ones, are watching the show with amusement. Then Knickers comes over to the bar and leans sideways on the counter. He gives me a surprisingly sympathetic look. As if he can grasp my confusion, he says, "It's not personal, sweetheart. Those are the rules at the MC and Benny has to respect them."

"But he only spoke to me," I mumble in exasperation. Austin's lips are curled into a promising grin. The tip of his tongue darts out from between his lips and he moistens them. Then he raises his hand and holds up exactly one finger. "You have one free stroke, Benny. Then I'll finish you off."

"What?" I gasp. "Hank?" I chastise in shock and open my eyes. "He's not really hitting him, is he?"

"Relax, little one. It'll be over quickly." He pats my hand like I'm five years old.

"No." I shake my head wildly. "I can't let that happen." I'm halfway to stepping out from behind the bar when Knickers grabs my hand, gently but firmly. "Stay here, little one. Austin can be a moody son of a bitch, but he's fair."

Fair?! This is a really bad joke. I audibly expel the air from my lungs and watch as Austin encourages Benny with a wave of his hand. "Go on!" he shouts.

Benny raises his fists and in the next moment he dashes forward with a big stride. He swings his right fist and misses Austin's chin by a hair's breadth. I squeal and squeeze Hank's hand.

Then they circle each other like predators and it's as if Austin is taunting him and deliberately not landing any hits. A frightening darkness flickers in his blue eyes again and I bite my lower lip. Benny takes advantage of the moment of inattention and delivers a brutal left uppercut to Austin. I squeeze my eyes shut and the next time I open them, Austin is wiping his thumb over his split lip and spitting blood onto the scratched wooden floor of the bar.

"You little fucker!" Austin curses and spits again, this time right at Benny's feet. This is followed by two quick steps and a combination of uppercuts and frontal punches to Benny's ribcage.

A deafening crack followed by pain-filled moans pierces the bar and my ears. Benny sinks to his knees and a breath later Austin pushes him to the floor and starts hitting him with wild combinations of punches. All I can see is spurting blood and hear loud, uncontrolled breathing.

I pull my hand out from under Hank's and flee to the back of the bar. As soon as I reach the back office, I push through the crack in the door and close the door behind me. Salty tears run down my cheeks and I try to contain the adrenaline rushing through my body. I stroke my cheeks, then my hair and walk in circles.

My head is spinning. What the hell just happened? What have I got myself into?

"Fuck," I mumble breathlessly. "Benny…what have I done," I cry. I throw myself onto the brown leather couch and pull my legs close to my chest, crying bitter tears. I am overcome by a wave of guilt. It all happened so fast - one second I was wiping the table and the next Austin was pining over some poor, innocent guy…because of me. I am the reason for this outburst of brutal, bloody violence. My chest rises and falls heavily and I gasp desperately for air. Tears blur my vision and I sniffle, and sniffle. It's no use and within a few minutes my nose is completely blocked and my cheeks are burning from the salty tears. I wipe my face roughly with my hands.

I'm so lost in my thoughts and tears that I don't even notice the heavy footsteps approaching me. It's only when the office door opens and Austin steps into the room that I raise my head, startled. My legs tremble and my fingers feel numb and cold as I struggle to my feet. Defiantly, I jut my chin up and sniffle: "I didn't invite you in."

"You didn't have to, babygirl," he replies harshly.

Damn it, go away, I plead silently and when he doesn't move, I scrutinize him from head to toe. My gaze first falls on his clenched fists. His knuckles are swollen, partially burst open and full of blood. I feel sick in an instant. I quickly turn my eyes away from his hands and look him in the face. His ice-blue eyes gleam wildly and impenetrably in my direction and I bite my lower lip. His lower lip has split open and blood is slowly drying on his chin. I swallow hard and turn away from him. "I don't want to see you. Please go away!"

Again, there is no answer. I don't hear the door either and the next moment I feel two warm, large hands resting on my upper arms and turning me around. His arrogance pisses me off and I want to scream at him, but at the same time I'm terrified of him. Austin has just beaten up a man…over an innocent conversation.

"That's not true," he insists in a gentle voice. "Why are you crying?" he whispers. He hugs me to him with one arm while he lets the fingers of his other hand glide tenderly over my cheek. I avert my gaze and close my eyes. His fingertips trace the contours of my face and when his thumb strokes my lower lip, his breath catches and I open my eyes. Austin looks me in the eye, and I return his smoldering, bewildered gaze before his shapely mouth catches my attention. Despite the swelling already setting in and the dried blood, his lips are still pink and full. For the first time in my twenty-one years of life, I want to be kissed. Even if all the circumstances speak against it.

Damn it, kiss me!, I beg him silently.

"You hit him," I whisper in a trembling voice. I'm paralyzed, completely captivated by him. I stare at his mouth, spellbound, and Austin looks down at me with a darkly veiled gaze. He cups his palm around my cheek and chin. His touch forces me to lean towards him.

"He was looking at you," he explains and I stare at him, confused.

What? "Just like every other guest tonight. Do you even hear what you're saying?" I ask, frowning. I raise my arms and press my palms to his chest, which turns out to be a clear mistake. He doesn't move an inch and feeling his warm, firm muscles and heartbeat under my fingers feels so wrong and yet so outrageously good.

"Even if I explained it to you, you wouldn't understand," he sighs and strokes my cheek again. This time his cracked knuckles touch my skin and I flinch. Austin shows no pain, though. "The rules in MC are very specific. He had to understand that there are rules, and you're one of them, babygirl." He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and shakes his head almost imperceptibly, as if to answer my unspoken question. When he opens his eyes again, the expression in his blue eyes is distant and there is a steely determination in them.

"Elizabeth, I'm exactly what you don't want out of life," he whispers.

Excuse me? How does he know that? Where did this sudden change of direction come from? Surely that's my decision alone, even if he's absolutely right and my reason applauds his words. My thoughts swirl out of disappointment at his confusing rejection. "You don't want me! I'm fucked up," he announces, swallowing hard. "I'd only break you," he adds hoarsely, gently pushing me away from him.

No!, my subconscious screams as he detaches himself from me and half turns away. Suddenly I feel very lonely and exposed. He watches my reaction carefully and a thought flashes through my mind: I wanted to be kissed, I made it damn obvious, and he didn't do it. He doesn't desire me.

I feel like a naive fool.

"You can't just say something like that and then walk away!" I mutter indignantly. The disappointment at his rejection and the cryptic meaning of his words make me angry. I grab his wrist and force him to look at me. "What do you mean I'm part of these MC rules?"

Austin looks at me silently for a while. Then he nods slowly and licks his lips. "Okay babygirl," he murmurs softly.

How can just a few words sound so enticing? I let go of his wrist and sit down on the brown couch. I look at him expectantly and watch as he somehow searches for the right words. Wow! I didn't think it was possible that someone like him - dark and dangerous - could be speechless; reaching for the right words.

"Some of us enjoy certain…privileges because of our rank in the club. We eat first, drink first, pick women," he pauses and rubs his knuckles together. "I picked you, and that includes the other guys keeping their distance from you."

"You did what? Picked me out, reserved me?" I shout at him angrily and stand up. I don't normally tend to use loud words and I immediately lower my voice again. Shouting has never helped anyone.

I straighten my shoulders and stare at Austin. My pulse starts to race. Something tightens in my stomach and the next moment I push past him wordlessly to leave the room. I can't believe it - I feel objectified, like an thing that can be reserved. My eyes start to sting again and I bite the inside of my cheek. This evening is a nightmare. I just want it to be over and I can leave. I'm sure if I find Callie and tell her I'm not feeling well, she'll let me go.

Just as I grasp the doorknob, an arm wraps around my waist from behind and spins me around. I collide with Austin's chest and gasp in shock. His fingertips tighten their grip around my waist and squeeze the fabric of my dress. He grabs my chin with his other hand and forces me to look him in the eye. My lower lip trembles and my choppy breath collides with his as I open my lips slightly. Austin stares at me, dark and promising. Is he going to kiss me after all?, I wonder, and in the next moment I receive a powerful jab between the ribs. My inner voice warns me and shrieks wildly. Fight him off, growls my subconscious. I silence it.

"Yes and no…I was protecting you with it, Elizabeth! Don't you understand that at all?" he asks, his jaw grinding.

How is he trying to protect me? He reserves me and puts his brand on me, and then?

"Protecting me? You're kinding right, Austin." I roll my eyes and press my hands against his chest. I desperately try to break away from him, but he won't let me escape. I turn my head jerkily and tear myself away from an engaging touch.

I hit his damn hard chest again. Son of a bitch!

He doesn't budge an inch and I realize how my nerves are slipping away from me repeatedly that evening. My blows become more uncoordinated, sluggish and weaker until my palms are just resting on his chest.

He lifts my chin again and I reluctantly give in. "Would you rather I kept my mouth shut and let some random guy throw dirty comments at you, grab your ass or pull you out of their laps, huh?"

I shake my head dejectedly and pause for a moment. I take a moment to memorize the sight of him. I have him to thank for the fact that I have mostly been left alone for the last two months, neither adjusted nor pulled onto any laps…after all the silence and my silent, bittersweet pining, he is still looking at me. Why me? I don't understand.

We remain silent. All thoughts are blown away and what remains is darkness and emptiness in my head. I risk a furtive glance up at him and at his lips. When Austin notices, his lips twitch.

He tightens the grip of his arm around my waist a little more and presses my upper body against his. My hands are now trapped between our bodies and suddenly the atmosphere in the room changes. Maybe it's because we're in such close quarters, or maybe it's because the hint of blood mingles with his unmistakable scent and numbs my senses. Tense, heated anticipation is in the air. My breathing and pulse quicken and he lowers his head a little. His eyes shimmer like liquid ice water and I bite my lip.

"Oh, shit!" he curses. "Maybe I'll regret this later, but I want to break you so badly, Elizabeth." He wraps one hand around the back of my neck and before I know it, his hips are pressing against mine. My God! I can't move my hands and desperately stand on my toes as one of his lips touches mine and he kisses me. His lips soften beyond measure and I moan into his mouth as I taste the blood. His tongue explores my mouth and then my own glides over his. I slowly feel my way forward and then our tongues begin an erotic dance. He spins me around and pushes me backwards a few steps until my ass touches the edge of the desk. I can feel his erection against my stomach. Wow… it's explosive.

We are both breathing heavily when the kiss ends. "You're amazing and beautiful," he gasps.

Beautiful. The compliment brings a blush to my cheeks. Austin thinks I'm beautiful. I risk a glance into his glowing eyes.

"Have you ever been kissed by anyone?"

"No," I whisper back. I do my best not to sink into the floor with embarrassment. Well…maybe Bobby tried to kiss me once in high school…never mind. It was childish and not worth mentioning.

"How is it that no guy has knocked you out yet? I don't get it. Men must be crazy about you." Suddenly my mouth is numb. Austin runs his fingers down the back of my neck and twists my braid around his wrist, forcing me to look him in the eye. I suck in the electrifying air around us. He gives me a wolfish grin, and I promptly feel that strange tugging in my abdomen again.

"You really are pure, so perfect." His thumb glides over my lower lip. His words act like an accelerant on me; my blood boils. He leans down to me, kisses me passionately and sucks on my lower lip. I moan and he smiles against my lips. "How old are you, Elizabeth?" he then asks in a low, raspy voice and I frown at his curiosity.

Why does he suddenly want to know? I swallow and open my mouth. "I'm twenty-one, almost twenty-two."

Something dark flashes in his eyes that I can't place. "How old are you?" I ask before I can stop myself.

A shadow flickers across his eyes and he continues to trace my bottom lip. "Thirty-three."

Oh man! There are several years between us. I slowly pull my hands back and intertwine my fingers.

"I really should leave you alone. You're far too young for me. Far too beautiful and I shouldn't want to break you."

It's that little compliment again. It's the second time he's said that he thinks I'm beautiful. I try to hide my stupid grin. Do you hear me now? He wants to break you?. my inner voice is shouting at me. My subconscious raises its head weakly. At least it's still alive. It's been suspiciously quiet for the last few minutes. Where was it when I needed it?

"What happens if you stay?" I whisper and his breath catches. "What happens then?", I add.

He grins darkly. "I don't know if you're naïve or just inexperienced, but you're remarkably brave," he says, his voice hoarse.

His words encourage me. They set me completely on fire and I press myself closer to his body. My hand trembles as I lift it and slide it along his neck. Austin freezes at the touch and blinks about as fast as my heart beats. My eyes fall on his lips again and I blush. He kissed me with those lips…wow.

I take the next step and run my fingers from his neck to his cheek to his chin. The blond stubble feels surprisingly soft and I look at his slightly swollen lips. The blood has dried and a crust is slowly forming. My fingertips hover in the air and I hold my breath with a pounding heart as I touch his lips. "Does it hurt?"

I don't know who this hurts more. Him or me. Austin stands perfectly still, not making a move. Only his fingers twitch around my waist and send pleasant shivers down my spine. "Not really. I've had far worse injuries after a fight," he explains with a sphinx smile. He opens his mouth slightly and licks my fingertips with his tongue. I gasp and then it takes my breath away. Why is that so sexy?

"Would you feel better if you tended to my wounds?" he whispers, hitting the mark with his words. I would really feel better if I knew that nothing was wrong with him. Not really I mean…my inner goddess sleepily lifts her head as she realizes we're about to touch Austin again. Suddenly she is wide awake and full of energy.

I nod gently and he releases me with a confident grin. My breathing is shallow; I can't take my eyes off him. He grabs a first aid kit from the filing cabinet next to the couch and places it on the desk next to me.

"Ready?", he asks.

"Hmmm," I hum and he puts his hands on my hips. He lifts me up in a flash and sits me on the tabletop. I squeak and open my eyes. Now I'm almost at eye level with him and he smiles in amusement at my reaction.

I turn my gaze away from him and take the first aid kit in my hands. I open the zipper and examine the contents. There are plasters, bandages, cleaning cloths, gloves and… condoms. My cheeks flash deep red. It's not really much, but it will be enough. I press my lips together in concentration and think hard about what to start with. I've never treated anyone after a fight before.

"Clean first, then treat", he helps me out.

Then I expel the unconsciously held air from my lungs and grab a bottle of disinfectant. I pour some of the blue, alcoholic liquid onto a white cloth and hesitate, muttering, "It'll probably sting."

Austin's eyes twinkle in amusement. "Go on, babygirl. I can take it."

I dab gently over his forehead, his cheeks, and when I reach his lips, his hands suddenly settle on my thighs, clasping with gentle pressure. My movements stutter and he grins smugly. What a bastard!

I squint slightly and press the cloth against his lips harder than necessary, wiping away the dried blood. Austin hisses softly and now I'm the one smiling with satisfaction. Ha!

"I didn't know you could be sadistic," he teases, watching me put the cloth away and reach for some ointment. A wave of heat chases through my body again.

"I'm not," I contradict and demand: "Hold still", I command then.

The corners of his mouth twitch, but he holds still. I put a little ointment on my index finger and stroke his eyebrow, his left cheek and his lips. He breathes in loudly through his nose while I concentrate on my work.

"Just keep telling yourself that," Austin murmurs, and a feeling of hot lust flashes through me. He stands in front of me, looks me in the eye. He's so damn sexy.

I ignore his words and ask instead: "Have you been caught anywhere else?"

"I don't know." He shrugs and then whispers playfully, "But you're welcome to look, Elizabeth."

I gasp for air. He's clearly taking the piss.

"I'm serious, Austin."

His fingers twitch around my thighs again and squeeze lightly. His palms are warm and rough. Every slightest movement of his hands makes all the senses in my body sing on high alert.

"Me too, babygirl." His hands wander up my thighs and reach the hem of my dress. My heart stops beating.

"Do you have any idea how seductive you are, Elizabeth?" He lets his hands wander tenderly over my thighs and pushes the red, fluffy fabric up. I automatically spread my legs for him and he steps closer to me. "Do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you?", he adds as I whimper softly.

The muscles deep inside me contract deliciously. I would love to close my eyes, but the wild expression in his blue eyes hypnotizes me. Unpredictable waves of lust and darkness break in his eyes and I want to drown in them. He releases one hand from my thigh and I immediately miss the feel of his warm fingers there. But then he curves his hand half around my chin, half down my neck and leans in for a short, sweet kiss.

"Once you say yes, there's no going back," he whispers and as I realize he's not only offering me a warning, but also a way out of this messed up, heated situation, my nerves are completely shot. I breathe in and out frantically. I can almost feel the chaotic feelings - or is it the hormones? -that are coursing through my body. The voice of reason calls out to me and holds out its small hand. Ready to take flight with me, but I stare at Austin unblinking. I want him so much, even though all reason rebels inside me. I wrap my hands around his upper arms and feel his firm biceps.

His blond hair is tousled, his black shirt clings tightly to his chest - his blue eyes flash out at you. "Yes, please," I whisper. Honestly, I'm not sure what exactly I want from him. I'm just sure that I don't want him to let go of me and walk away.

"Please what?", he asks teasingly. His gaze is very intense, half in the shadows and half in the dim light of the office.

"Please kiss me, touch me, Austin." ...fuck me. As soon as the words have left my lips, he kisses me again. So wishes can come true after all.

He breaks away from me, his face only centimetres away from mine. "I'm not exactly known for being gentle, babygirl. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You know that, don't you?" He sounds very serious, almost desperate, and his eyes are glowing. His words surprise me.

Who would have thought that this handsome, tough biker would care about my well-being. "I would never do anything I didn't want to." As soon as I get the words over my lips, I'm not so sure anymore. Right now, I'd probably do anything he asked of me. My answer seems to satisfy him, though.

"Show me!", I demand and the corners of his mouth twitch furiously. His lips meet mine again and the kiss is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. Not that there's much to compare it to.

He strokes the contours of my lips with his tongue and asks for entrance. I open my mouth and our tongues touch. A muffled moan escapes me and he intensifies the kiss. Then his lips leave mine and he breathes feather-light, moist kisses on my jaw and neck. When he starts to suck on a sensitive spot under my ear, I shiver.

"You react very intensely," he whispers huskily. "Your skin is so soft and you smell good," he adds.

Why does he say he can't be affectionate? His words make my arms and legs melt and heat rushes through my veins.

Austin lets go of my chin and grabs my own with his hand, pressing it to his chest. My fingertips twitch and I feel a surge of nervousness race through me. He wants me to touch him, it occurs to me, and I run my palm hesitantly over his bulging pecs. He pulls his head back so far that he can look at me and I breathe heavily. I avoid his gaze and continue to stroke his covered upper body. Despite the fabric, I can feel his warmth and the hardness of his muscles. Both his hands rest on my thighs again and this time he doesn't stop at the hem of my dress. He grips the hem and crumples the fabric in his fists, pulling it up until he catches a glimpse of my white lace panties. Luckily I'm wearing nice underwear!

"Fuck," he growls and licks his lips. "Your skin is flawless. I want to smell and taste you. and get you all dirty, baybgirl."

His uninhibited, rough words totally arouse me. I turn red. His dirty words are in stark contrast to his gentle touch. His fingers glide over the insides of my thighs and he spreads them wider. I'm putty in his hands. He exhales audibly and closes his eyes as he runs the knuckles of his right hand over the soft lace fabric. I gasp for air and my toes curl in my shoes. Oh…how can I feel that touch down there?

"I love delicate lace," he murmurs, pushing the red fabric of my dress further up and stroking the lace pattern of my panties with the fingers of one hand. His next kiss is demanding, his tongue and lips teasing mine. I cling to him and crumple the fabric of his black shirt. He presses his body against mine, pushing my upper body back until I'm lying half on the tabletop. One hand clasps my bare thigh, the other moves down my back to my waist and my bum. As he thrusts his hips forward, I feel his erection.

I let out a muffled moan and swallow his quick breath as he kisses me again. I carefully stroke his neck and hair. It is soft and yet unruly. I tug gently and he moans hoarsely. He runs one hand over my collarbone and pushes me down onto my elbows with the flat of his palm on my chest. The cold wooden board collides with my bare arms and sends shivers down my body.

I expect him to undress me, but he doesn't. He lets go of me, straightens up and sinks to his knees, grips both my thighs and pulls me jerkily towards the edge of the table. He's not going to, or? My inner goddess swings her hips in boundless anticipation, while a little voice in my head whispers doubts. However, I don't have time to get to grips with the chaos in my head. My legs float in the air and then they suddenly rest on his broad shoulders and I close my eyes, fluttering. He kisses the inside of my thighs and gently scratches my hip bone with his teeth. He gently nibbles and kisses his way from my left hip bone to my belly button and sinks his tongue there. I moan again.

Seeing him on his knees in front of me and feeling his mouth on my skin is unexpected and exciting. My whole body is on fire and the excitement comes over me in waves. I try in vain to control my loud breathing. He looks up at me with his blue eyes under his incredibly long eyelashes, kneads my thighs and licks his lips. His nose grazes my skin down there. Before I know it, he leans forward and pushes his nose between my thighs. I can feel him down there. His hot breath collides with my own warmth. Oh God!

"Hmmm…you smell so good," he murmurs, inhaling deeply. I let myself fall back onto the tabletop and chew my lip. Something seems to explode deep inside me.

He blows lightly against my covered centre and I shiver. "Ohh," I whisper and he chuckles. He spreads my legs wider and bends my knees upwards. I'm completely exposed and can't think a sensible thought as Austin drags his knuckles over my centre. Although the touch is light as a feather, I can feel the reverberations all the way to my abdomen. I press a hand to my mouth and gasp for air. Oh boy, that's intense.

When I briefly lift my head, there is a sensual expression in his eyes and he lowers his lips. His lips move over the thin lace of my panties and he growls. The vibration reverberates deep inside me. One of his hands grabs my briefs and pushes them aside, revealing me and then I feel his lips on my bare skin for the first time. I moan, feel the pulsation between my thighs and how wet I am. Please, I beg silently as one of his arms wraps around my stomach and stops me from wriggling around. I clutch his forearm and dig my fingernails into his skin.

"Have you ever touched yourself and brought yourself to orgasm?" he whispers smokily.

I try my best to sound offended. "Yes," I breathe breathlessly - but none of my touching has felt anything like what you do.

"Maybe one day I'll watch you rub that sweet little pearl and moan breathlessly."

In the depths of my foggy mind, the thought arises that I might even like it. To see him in front of me, half naked, and his eyes are only on me. That would be definitly something.

His lips open and with the next breath I feel his tongue. The tip of his tongue slowly and sensually circles my clit. His fingers part my labia and when he briefly lifts his head and blows against my wet centre, my body rears up. But Austin holds my hips in an iron grip and I sigh in sweet agony. He doesn't let up and continues his sensual assault.

"Now let me explore this litte thight hole." He strokes my entrance with one finger and I feel my muscles tense and pulsate down there. He pushes a finger inside me, again and again.

When he stops circling my clitoris and starts sucking lightly instead, my vision blurs and all my muscles tense up. Something knots in my stomach and I chase after a tingling flicker. His finger pumps into me at a steady pace, becoming more urgent as he adds another. A cry of pleasure escapes me as he speeds up.

"Please," I beg and throw my head back. My lips open and my legs tense and tremble.

"Let go, babygirl." His teeth scrape over my clitoris and he slides two fingers inside me. Just before he pulls them out again, he curves his fingertips and grazes a sensitive spot inside me. My eyes go black and I see stars. I cry out and freeze. The madness! I've never experienced anything like it.

My eyelids are heavy as I flutter them open again. He lifts his eyes and looks at me with a satisfied, dark grin. I return his smile shyly and am sure that I have just collided with the sun. I feel like Icarus who flew too close to the sun and got burnt.

I come down from my orgasm with a gasp. His hands glide over my thighs and he slowly rises from his knees. I prop myself up on my elbows and watch as he grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls the fabric over his head. Oh wow…Adonis and David's michelangelo can pack their bags next to him. Austin is outrageously hot. A light film of sweat glistens on his skin and I wander with his eyes over the peaks and valleys of his pronounced muscles. My mouth is watering and I'm suddenly overcome with the desire to taste him on my lips. I straighten up into a sitting position and reach out for him.

Excitement and triumph dance around in his gaze and he breathes heavily. "How was that?" he asks in a raspy voice.

I blink and think about what would be a suitable answer. Exciting, explosive… definitely world-shattering. "Good," I whisper back. He laughs and grabs my face with both hands. Then he kisses me and I taste my own arousal…it's dirty…and exciting…and feels far too good.

"You're killing me. How can you be so innocent?"" With his fingers he gently grips my wrist and directs my movements up his chest and along his ribcage, then down to his stomach and my fingers graze the path of blond hair disappearing under his waistband. I stare at the spot where our hands rest and widen my eyes as I see the bulge in his jeans.

I swallow hard and there's that promising, dangerous grin on his lips again. He lets go of my wrist and unbuttons his jeans, then pulls down the zip. I hold my breath. His palm is pressed against his erection and he closes his fist around his cock. I slide my fingers over his upper stomach muscles and they tense under my touch. It's a heavenly feeling to be so turned on. He pushes his jeans down and kicks his boots off his feet. Then he's standing in front of me in just black, tight-fitting boxer shorts and when his fingers slip under the fabric, I bite my lip. Tense excitement slowly builds up and watching him touch himself blows my mind… insane!

Austin takes half a step closer to me and wraps his other hand around my chin. I crane my head and sigh as he kisses me again. It's wild and hard on the edge of pain as he presses my head back and stretches my neck muscles. This time I feel braver and search for his with my tongue. He moans in surprise at my initiative into my mouth. I slide my hands further down his stomach and touch his forearm. He's still pumping his hard cock and I wrap my fingers around his forearm and wrist.

"Let me…" I stammer awkwardly. His muscles quiver under my fingers. "Show me how…"

He nods and pulls off his boxer shorts. My eyes widen. His cock is big. The tip is red and wet, and he grabs my hand again. "Keep your fingers loose, babygirl," he instructs me and I obey. When I look into his eyes, there's a lewd grin on his lips. I want to punch him in the face, but I'm too nervous and curious about what's going to happen next. He clearly enjoys my stunned expression and lays a quick kiss on my lips. It's smooth, wide and beautiful. I want to touch him, but I don't know how.

Austin leans down to my ear. His lips brush the sensitive skin there and I lick my lips in anticipation. Hm…all right.

He guides my hand towards his penis and whispers. "Close your fingers." I close my fingers into a fist and gasp. His cock is much harder than I expected in my hand, but also soft and warm. "First slow and firm," he whispers, moving my hand up and down, and his eyes shimmer like boundless oceans as he looks at me. He sets the pace for my movements. My mouth is slightly open, I lower my gaze and watch our hands glide up and down, mesmerised. It's fascinating how the wet tip of his cock keeps disappearing and reappearing between my fingers. I wonder what he tastes like?

"That's it, babygirl." He lets go of my hand and cups my face with both hands, then leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes in pleasure. Seeing him where…aroused and out of control fires me up and I grow bolder. When he thrusts his hips forward slightly, I involuntarily tighten my grip.

A deep groan echoes from his chest. Ha! He likes it and a new, electrifying warmth spreads through my chest. It's a sound I'd like to hear more often. I remember Callie and the other girls talking about blokes and how they like it. So I speed up my movements a little and at the same time carefully slide my thumb over his glans. I watch his reaction carefully.

"Shit", he growls in a deep voice. Austin opens his eyes, and I repeat the slide of my thumb. I also start to twist my fist a little with the up and down movements and get another deep, hoarse moan from Austin. He's both hard and soft, like steel, covered in velvet, and when I switch hands, bringing my wet thumb to my lips, he tastes amazing, good, a little salty. While I'm not so sure about this flavor, one look at ihim and I don't care. Seeing him so aroused and wild is worth it.

Austin groans and thrusts his hips towards me more and more often. I continue with the twisting pumping movements of my hand. I feel powerful! My tiny little inner goddess is delighted with my skill. I can drive him crazy with my hand. Again I let my thumb glide over his tip and his hips jerk. "Fuck, babygirl and you've never done this before?," he growls and when I make a sign to lean forward, he shakes his head breathlessly.

I bite my lip and shake my head. "Never."

Why not? Before I can sulk, he whispers: "If you curve those pretty pink lips around my cock now, I'll come deep down your throat." I feel the muscles in his legs tighten and he breathes heavily as he closes his hand around my wrist, slowing my movements before pulling my fingers away from his cock.

My pulse quickens as he grabs the hem of my dress and pulls it over my head. Now I'm only wearing my white lace bra. "I'd much rather feel your tight little pussy around my cock when I come."

I shudder at his crude words and he flicks my bra open, slips it over my shoulders and as the cool room air brushes my breasts, my nipples harden. His fingers glide over my one breast as he kisses my neck. He rolls his thumb over my nipple and I feel a longing tug between my thighs. His lips leave wet kisses on my neck, my collarbone and when he cups my one nipple, I threaten to burst.

The next second he kisses me again passionately, completely wildly and wraps his arms around my back. He lifts me off the tabletop and stands me on my own feet. I cling to him with wobbly legs. But before I can wrap my arms around his naked torso, he turns me around so that my bare back touches his chest. He grab a condom package. What is he up to?

"You're really pretty, Elizabeth," he whispers and I shudder. His hands wander over my shoulders and down my arms. Then they rest on my hips, exploring the soft skin of my lower back, and when he slides one palm between my shoulder blades and presses me forward onto the ice-cold tabletop, alarm bells start ringing in my head.

He wants to take me from behind. I press my palms on the tabletop and push against him. His palm presses further into my back and I panic.

No!, my little inner goddess screams indignantly. This is not how she and I had imagined my first time. Part of me resigned myself some time ago to the fact that there would be no roses, candles and sweet words, but being taken from behind… hard, that's absolutely non-negotiable for me.

The echo of Austin's words reverberates through my head. I'm not exactly known for being gentle, babygirl.

I realize that if I don't say anything now, he will take me from behind. He's probably used to getting his way and the women he normally fucks have long since resigned themselves to not experiencing romance or expressing their desires. But I'm certainly no whore…I grit my teeth as he traces the contours of my ass with his fingers.

I feel his warm body firmly behind me and as his fingers slide between my thighs, I press my legs together, even though it feels damn good to be touched by him. I lift my head, "No!"

He pauses in his movements. "No, what?" Austin asks roughly.

I take a deep breath and think about what to say. "No," I repeat stupidly. "I don't want it like this. You're not going to take me from behind like one of your whores."

The pressure of his palm on my back finally disappears and I straighten up. When I turn around, there's an indefinable expression in his eyes and I swallow. He looks so lost; like I've slapped him in the face. Oh, Austin.

For a fraction of a moment, I can see through the walls he's built around himself. He frowns in confusion. Austin almost doesn't understand my objections, but then it hits me like a blow. How could he know otherwise? That's the way he lives, and it makes me a little sad.

It's the first time I've seen something like vulnerability flicker in his eyes. Austin seems speechless and overwhelmed. So if I want this to work, I have to do something.

I don't have any sexual experience, but I know what I don't want. That includes a hard fuck from behind. I sigh softly and wrap my arms around his chest. Then I stand on my tiptoes and lift my chin until my lips hover over his.

He finally wakes up from his stupor and presses his lips to mine. The kiss is different - somehow full of emotion and when he puts one arm around my upper back and the other around my bottom, I press myself against him. We are both breathing heavily when the kiss ends and he suddenly lifts me up. I automatically wrap my legs around his hips and he walks over to the couch. He sits down with me on his lap and his hard cock slides right between my labia. I freeze and shudder at the same time.

"Once you say yes, there's no going back," he mumbles and it feels like deja vu.

"Please take me," I whisper and press myself against his naked body. I don't know where the courage comes from, but I lean my cheek against his, lick the shell of his ear and rock my hips against his lap. "You're not going to break me right now, Austin," I add in a soft, gentle voice. Even though there are some doubts in my mind about that, I continue to encourage him. At least not immediately and completely, my little subconscious grumbles.

I dispel the unpleasant thoughts in my head and blow a kiss on his jaw. His hands glide over my back and within a breath he has spun us round and my back is pressed into the seat of the couch. I blink and shiver like a deer in headlights. So it's really happening. Bloody hell! Now I'm getting a little scared. I think of his big cock. How is that supposed to happen? How?

Austin pushes his knees between my thighs and leans over me. His arms are propped up next to my head and I stare up at him from below. My mouth is dry as dust and I whimper softly.

He slides one of his hands round the back of my neck and holds my head in place. As he lowers himself onto his elbow, our naked bodies touch and his hard pecs rub over my sensitive, hard nipples. I gasp and follow his words as he murmurs, surprisingly calmly, "Pull your knees up a little."

I look between our bodies and chew on my lip as the tip of his cock rubs over my clit and then slides along my labia. A pleasant muffled sound suddenly hums in my ears and I don't know whether it's me moaning or him. "Take a deep breath and relax, babygirl. I'll let it pass quickly."

I lift my head and take a shaky breath. I wrap my arms around his ribcage and press my fingers into his warm, firm skin in joyful yet anxious anticipation.

His glans slides further down and as he pushes his hips forwards a little, he finds my entrance. His blue eyes glow intensely and unyielding desire, lust and the devil of darkness dance a tango in them. I close my eyes and take another breath. Then he lowers his forehead against mine and whispers in a smoky voice, "I'm going to enjoy breaking you, Elizabeth. Quick and dirty until there's nothing left of you, babygirl." I open my eyes and he thrusts his hips forward, penetrating me deep with a single thrust.

The unaccustomed stretch burns and the feeling of being completely full squeezes all the air out of your lungs. I gasp for air and squeeze my eyes shut. A whimper escapes me and when Austin's fingertips twitch on my neck and he kisses my cheeks, I realise I'm crying.

"Ah, you're so fucking tight," he whispers and kisses me. All my muscles are tensed to the breaking point and only when his lips part and his teeth pull lightly on my lower lip does a little tension leave my body.

I'm out of breath and a ball of fire races down my spine and explodes between my thighs as he slowly pulls back and then slides back inside me. More fluid and deeper this time; I run my hands from his ribcage to his cheek to his hair. I bury the fingers of one hand in his unruly hair and tilt my head back as the burning sensation turns into a less urgent pain and subsides.

"That's it!" he praises me and slides out of me, only to penetrate me more firmly the next moment.

I press my lips into the crook of his neck and lick and suck at his skin. "Austin," I moan, overwhelmed.

"You take me so well, babygirl." He gyrates his hips and new sensations race through my body again. My toes curl and I wrap one leg around his hips. He sucks on my neck and scratches my sweaty skin with his mouth and teeth open. "You smell so good."

I melt under him. Why does he say he can't do the romantic thing?

Before I can follow the loose thread of thoughts in my head, he lifts his head and his eyes lock on me. His fingers slide from my neck to my throat and wrap around it. I blink at him under half-lowered lids and then his thumb slides over my parted lips and he grins wolfishly. His eyes darken as my hot breath hits his thumb and then something unexpected happens. The grip of his hand around my neck tightens. He squeezes the air out of me with controlled pressure. It's close to the pain threshold and I panic.

The corners of his mouth twitch devilishly and his eyes darken. He savours the hint of my panic and as I slide my hands out of his hair and around his wrist, he intensifies his gyrating hip movements. I groan again and notice a tingling sensation building in the depths of my muscles…just like before when he knelt between my legs. I swallow restricted by his hand and the grin on his lips darkens into something…more dangerous, more unbreakable.

In something that really scares me. Scraps of memories from the past few hours appear before my eyes. Austin's first grab for my wrist at the bar, then the gruelling back and forth of our gazes across the evening, to the fight with Benny, and his lips between my thighs.

Austin narrows his eyes and licks his pink lips. His thrusts alternate between fast, and slow and hard. Then he changes the angle of his hips, leaning from his elbow back onto his hand. He wraps his fingers around my neck a few shades tighter and I gasp slightly.

Panic flutters over my body and I try to squeeze my legs together. But with him between my legs and over my body, I hardly have a chance to defend myself or move. He enjoys my reluctance and takes pleasure in my burgeoning panic. Sick bastard!

"Yes," he grins devilishly. "Lose yourself in desire, babygirl." His thumbnail traces my lip and then slides into my mouth. My vision blurs and I suck on his thumb. He growls and suddenly there's no holding back. Austin speeds up his movements; sliding in and out of me, again and again with heavy breaths, and I melt beneath him.

The panic and my desire for redemption are close together. I can't keep the two feelings apart as they blur and send hot, cold shivers through me.

"You look so pretty underneath me," he whispers. "So fragile," he pushes hard again. "So wonderfully dishevelled," another hard thrust. "…and so fucking wet around my cock. Do you like that, babygirl?" His thrusts are hard on the edge of pain and as the tingling continues to brew in my stomach, spreading through my arms and legs, my eyes begin to water.

"Austin", I shout. Go easy on me, I beg silently. The grip of my hands around his forearm weakens and as he realises this, he loosens his vice-like grip and oxygen floods my airways.

I gasp and scream with pleasure as my orgasm approaches. "Come for me," Austin whispers, breathing heavily, and I burst into a million pieces. He thrusts hard a few more times until he comes too and pours my name into me, panting.

While I try to calm my racing pulse, my thoughts sink into chaos. Wow… that was amazing. That was… erotic and psychotic.

He lowers himself onto his elbows and presses his entire body weight onto me. He breathes loudly and heavily into the crook of my neck and I pull out my arms, which are now trapped between us, and wrap them around his neck. His muscles twitch under my fingers and he is still inside me. Then he lifts his head slowly and looks at me with a dark gaze. The unstoppable storm in his eyes has receded and for a brief moment I think I recognise something like warmth and tenderness on his face, but then he shuts up again.

Austin kisses me softly and then murmurs as he looks at me, "I've never seen soemthing that was so beautiful while I was breaking it."

It's strange that he says something like that. Basically, I don't feel broken, just cracked open. I swallow, barely comprehending his words. Austin has cracked my hard shell, and sticky, sweet infatuation oozes out of me.

He slowly slides out of me and I close my eyes. "Oh." I wince at the unfamiliar sensation and immediately wrap my arms tighter around his back as he try to stand up. "Please stay. Just a minute."

Confusion flickers in his eyes again, but he nods almost imperceptibly and lowers his face into the crook of my neck. To be honest, I don't know what I'm doing, but asking him to stay feels terribly intimate. Austin isn't the kind of guy you cuddle with, but a tiny spark of hope ignites in my chest as he relaxes over me and stays put.

I run my fingers through his slightly sweaty hair and enjoy the weight of his body on me. "Are you okay?" he asks, still hiding his face in the crook of my neck.

I hesitate and close my eyes. For a moment, I hush inside my body. A bittersweet burning sensation sets in between my legs now that the arousal has subsided and my muscles feel heavy. Tomorrow I will have sore muscles everywhere. A giggle escapes me and he lifts his head. I slap a hand over my mouth and mumble, "Sorry. It's just so ironic that you ask me that after you…well…choked me."

His blue eyes glow. "I'm well aware of that," he says dryly, lowering his gaze to my neck. His fingertips gently stroke the sensitive skin and I sigh silently. "Was I too rough? I know I can be pretty wild", he adds.

Pretty wild and hot. A little scary and controlling, but hot. I give him a gentle smile and kiss his jaw. "I'm okay, but thank you."

Now that he has cracked my hard shell, the feelings just bubble out of me. Butterflies are dancing around in my stomach and I know that things will only get worse from here on out.

I feel strangely cared for as he rubs his knuckles over my neck and whispers: "Your skin is so beautifully red from my hands." He drags his thumbnail across the edge of my chin and my toes tense. My body twitches beneath him and he grins triumphantly.

Then he leans towards me and kisses me tenderly. Just as I'm about to lose myself in his lips, he ends the kiss and makes an effort to get up.

That's it now, isn't it, I think disappointedly. No, that can't be all. My subconscious lazily lifts its little head and blinks at me. Where has it been for the last hour? It eyes me skeptically and shakes my shoulders. Pull yourself together, Elizabeth. Understand that he doesn't stand for romance. He's rough, wild and unrestrained. I grin mischievously at the thought.

I watch Austin stand up and reach for his boxers and jeans. He quickly puts them on and when he reaches for his shirt, I'm on my feet in a flash and pick it up off the floor. He gives me a wolfish, playful look.

"What are you doing, babygirl?" he asks, clicking his tongue.

I realize I'm still completely naked, and in another situation I'd be damn uncomfortable, but I try to stop him. At the ridiculous performance, my sense of honor props his face in his small hands and shakes his head. Fuck that! This can't be the end.

"I don't want you to go." The words pass my lips before I can stop them and his eyes widen.

Then he looks at me very seriously and comes towards me. He reaches out a hand and curls it around the back of my neck, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not staying the night-guy. I'm just not like that, babygirl," he states dryly.

Everything inside me roars. I know, I know. I press his shirt against my bare breasts with both fists. The bitter disappointment that he wants to leave and leave me alone hits me unexpectedly. Even though the sensible part of me had foreseen all of this.

"So you're done with me now after you broke me?" I sound more emotional than I should. I taste the bitter truth of my words on my tongue. Austin blinks at me, startled by my emotional outburst, and rubs the back of his neck with one hand.

"Don't do that. Don't make it so hard on yourself, Elizabeth," he murmurs. "You knew what you were getting yourself into. I'm not your prince in shining armor."

I squint my eyes. "Obviously." I sound hurt and biting. He takes a step closer to rip the shirt from my hands. I shake my head, barely noticing. I dare him to do that!

"So I'm only worth one fuck?" I then ask, suppressing the trembling in my voice with all my might. "Got it. that you won't take me out or love me, but do you have to be such a bastard. You just took my virginity and you're so - ah -," I mumble angrily, my tongue flicking out of my mouth. "…such a fucking bastard! Couldn't you at least have had the decency to cuddle me for a few more minutes?"

Austin grinds his jaw and his blue eyes flash emotionlessly. The hardness in his gaze makes my blood freeze in my veins. "It's better if you're angry with me. Hate me if you have to, but don't fall in love with me. You don't want me in your life," he makes it clear and rips the shirt from my hands.

Too late, I think.

"It scares you," I say, startled. As the words slip past my lips, his eyes widen and he freezes in front of me. Apparently I've hit the bull's eye. "You finally care about something in life besides your MC and now you're trying to push me away by being disgusting to me. Stop it, you son of a bitch!"

Austin growls. "No, you're wrong." He leans his lips so close to my ear that I can feel his warm breath on my skin. "That didn't mean anything to me with you. It was just a fuck."

My pulse quickens and I jut my chin out. Even though his words hit me hard, I blink into his eyes and murmur, "If it didn't mean anything to you, you can spend the night with me. It wouldn't change anything, right?" I raise an eyebrow defiantly, and the moment Austin inhales loudly through his nose and licks his lips, I know I've hit his sense of honor.

Maybe my provocation is pathetic and maybe I'm making a fool of myself because it really meant nothing to him, but in the way his muscles tense and the corners of his mouth twitch, I know I've found a vulnerable spot.

"Fine," he grumbles in a low voice. "As soon as the sun comes up, I'm gone. Come here." I can hardly believe my triumph and I stifle a squeak with all my might. His big hand clasps mine and pulls me towards him. "Lift your arms," he instructs me and pulls his muscle shirt over me. Then he picks up my panties and helps me into them. I watch him without comment and bathe in the tingling waves of my little victory.

He walks with me by the hand to the couch and lies down. His back is half leaning against the backrest and when he spreads his legs and pulls me between them, I almost trip over my feet. Austin wraps his arms around me and looks tense as I rest my cheek on his bare chest. I close my eyes and just before I fall into a dreamless sleep, I feel his fingers stroking my hair and a soft, husky voice. "Maybe you just mean too much to me."

Hey FELLAS ❤️

OMG, I can't even believe I wrote this emotional and steamy adventure! Please commet down below your thoughts and feedback! It would mean the world to me if you reblog the post, show it to your friends and community or like it 🫢

It would make me the happierst author in the world if you (my fave people) commet down belong.

tagging: @bloodynereid @obsessedvibee @avonne-writes @austinbutlermischief @austinbutlerslovers @hogans-heroes @sempervera @sagesolsticewrites

xoxo callumsgirl

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carolmunson · 11 months

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baby, as if (the flashbacks)

the flashbacks: part one. baby as if: masterlist (read with caution.) i looked at that poll and i said 'absolutley not, you'll take what i give you.' jk, but i realized it'll just be easier for me if i take this a few chunks at a time, so i give you the beginning of 'the flashbacks'. here, you'll see eight, six, and five and a half years ago. a little entry way into how reader and (not so) f!boy eddie met and started getting involved. tw: 18+, oral (f recieving), not much in terms of tws for this entry, discussions of drugs and drug dealing -- otherwise pretty fluffy. our timeframe setting starts out in 2007-ish. (take all actual year timelines with a grain of salt, i just like incorporating the early aughts into shit.) but here we go, i give you the beginning of baby as if: the flashbacks.

8 Years Ago You didn't really know each other when he started working at the shop. Your dad had mentioned 'my daughter' in passing, but you didn't go to Hawkins High or middle, you went to the highschool in the next town over using your aunts address because it was a better school. Your parents didn't want you to end up stuck like them, but you'd already beaten them by not getting pregnant at nineteen. He knew you went to college in Fort Wayne to study English -- he thought that was stupid since you spoke English already. Why would you have to spend all that money to study it? That didn't make sense to him.

He did know your little brother, Beau, often found small and sugar high at the end of a long day at kindergarten being dropped at the shop by your mom so she could take more clients at night in the salon. Eddie would take the morning shift on cars and then the afternoon shift as a baby sitter until the shop closed at 5:30. He'd take that time to teach him how to read -- but only the best books. He started with the Hobbit and went from there.

On one particular hot summer night, your mom didn't come by to drop off your brother which made sense since it was the summertime -- but he still heard the pitter patter of his light up sneakers against the concrete floor.

"Beau, don't run please!"

He hadn't heard that voice before, it wasn't nearly as nicotine soaked as your mom's or your aunt's. Eddie feels the slam of a tiny skull against his mid thigh and looks down to see Beau looking up at him with his big baby eyes.

"Hi," Beau says -- breathless in the way little kids are when they run or take a big gulp of water. He reaches up at him with his arms over his head, "I didn't wanna go home yet so I asked sissy if she could take me here after camp."

"Sissy?" Eddie asks with a quirk of his brow, hoisting him up onto his hip, "You're gettin' big dude, I don't know if I can keep pickin' you up."

"My sissy," he says, pointing over to the office your dad normally spent the afternoons in, but there you were right outside of it. Summer sun soaked, shorts tight over your thighs, run down sneakers and an old weathered sweatshirt completed your look. Eddie gulped at the sight of you but you were too preoccupied with your phone to pay attention.

"Mumma, can you tell Eddie about the dragon I saw at the zoo?" Beau asked, shimmying down Eddie's body to get back down on the floor to run to you.

"Okay kid, is she your sister or is she your mom?" Eddie asked, trying to hide confusion and surprised. You look up at him with a gaze that immediately makes him feel stupid, but intruiged.

"Ew, no, I'm definitely his sister," you answer while snapping your phone closed, hand falling onto Beau's head, "Can you guess which one of us was the mistake?"

Your playful grin makes him laugh, "Sorry, he called you mom so -- I just didn't know."

"Don't worry -- it's sorta like when you accidentally call your teacher 'mom' when you're a kid. He just gets confused," you shrug and introduce yourself before asking, "What's your name?"

"I'm Eddie. I uh --"

"Oh! You watch Beau when he's out of school!" you interrupt, "He talks about you all the time."

"You're not telling him about the dragon, sissy," Beau whines and squirms, "I seen a dragon today."

"You saw a dragon today, B," Eddie corrects, "I saw, not I seen."

"Still seen one," Beau crosses and uncrosses his arms with a dramatic eye roll, already bored with the conversation enough to scurry over to another co-worker.

"He saw a bearded dragon lizard at the zoo today," you smile.

"I swear he's five going on fifteen with all that attitude," Eddie says with an exasperated sigh through puffed out cheeks, "Gives me a run for my money..."

You laugh a little out of your nose and flip your phone open, he's stunned at how fast you text. Your thumbs flying over the keyboard of your Sidekick iD. All he had was some Nokia burner from Rick and an iPod he stole at the gym.

"Uh, your dad's in there, by the way. Like, you can just go in," he says. His coverall feels too hot and scratchy, noticibly concious of how much is pools around his sinewy frame. He doesn't look like a man the way the other guys who work here do, he doesn't really feel like one either. Too soft. Too gentle. Even when he was lugging around tires and getting into fights at The Hideout.

"He's on the phone," you scrunch your nose while you point at the door, keys in your hand jingling. He thinks about what you'd do if he reached forward and tapped his finger on it. If he traced down the bridge gently. You look so touchable.

"How come I've never seen you around before? I've been here like, almost a year," he says, running the rag that was over his shoulder through his hands to occupy himself.

"I'm not around a lot, normally in Fort Wayne 'cause I go to school there. I stay with a friend and work at the school over the summer to make some money," you explain, "Trying to save up for my own place."

"Oh, cool," he nods, swallowing the disappointment in his tone. Of course you don't want to stick around this shit hole town. You have better things to do. You're literally in college.

"What's your SN? I'll add you to my buddy list and tell you all the weird shit Beau says this weekend," you giggle.

"What's an SN?" Eddie asks, throat running dry. Is this some kind of joke? Are you trying to make fun of him or something? "SN? Your screen name?" you reply, cocking your head when he still doesn't know what you mean, "Like your AIM screen name?"

"Oh!" he says, embarrassment continuing to creep up on him, "Like, on the computer? We um -- I don't have one at home so I never really signed up for it."

"Oh," you say softly, nodding, "Um, well like, what's your number then? Gotta keep up with Beau's replacement older sibling."

He internally gags when you refer to him as your replacement. Did you already put him in that catergory? The friendzone? That's what they called it at the comic book store when they had their D&D nights and just talked about girls.

"Here," you say, handing the phone out to him with the 'New Contact' page up. He takes it, albiet shakily, unsure if Rick would want him to be giving out his number to just anyone -- but you're so cute and girls never ask for his number. Not even after they hook up with him in his van outside of the bar. Rick would understand.

"Thanks, it's saved under Eddie M," he replies sheepishly, "In case you know any other Eddies."

"I don't," you smile, "But I'll keep the M."

The door to the office opens and your dad appears, tired and disheveled but glad to see you.

"Hey kid, where's the gremlin?" he asks you gruffly.

"I don't know, probably doing something illegal," you shrug, but the pitter patter of light up sneakers on concrete starts up again across the garage.

"Let's go, buddy," he says while Beau leaps up into his arms.

"That was a big jump dude. What, are you half spider monkey or something?" Eddie teases.

"We saw them at the zoo, today!" he calls out, before turning to his dad, "And I also saw a dragon."

"That's very cool, you'll have to draw me a picture when we get home," he says with a nod before putting his attention on Eddie.

"I'm gonna head out, but are you good to lock up here with Mark?"

"Yeah, for sure," Eddie nods. A smile spreads across his lips, maybe you'll think he's important or something, "It was um...it was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too," you say softly while you head toward the door with your dad. He tries not to look, but there's something about the way your cut off shorts hug your ass that has heat rushing to his cheeks.

You turn back as the door is about to close behind you and grin, "I was the mistake, by the way. I'll shoot you a text after nine!"

You do text him after nine.

'heyyy. how r u? :)'

No one ever really asks.

Six Years Ago

He didn't mean to fall for you, but how could he not? Your weekly to bi-weekly phone calls during your senior year of college were all he looked forward to. Outside of pay day and parties at Rick's. And D&D campaigns. And shows at The Hideout. You were up there, you were top ten. He swore it.

He knew when you came home for winter break last year, helping your parents bring Beau to swimming lessons and indoor soccer. It started with small, yearning, glances when your daddy would invite him home for dinner, or you'd drop off lunch for the guys. Soft little flicks of brown eyes from under envious full lashes to watch you watching him, leaning over his work bench to ask him a question for your dad. Watching you live your life in your family’s small house while he ate brisket and showed Beau how to do shading in his coloring books. He nearly died when you grabbed his hand in the kitchen, manicured nails dancing over the new burnished silver jewelry on his fingers and asked, ‘Are these new rings? Where’d you get them?’

He'd survey you while you helped your brother with his math homework when your mom was busy with her fourth haircut that night -- your aunt who wouldn't pay her and your dad too burnt out to do anything but drink in front of the TV in his recliner.

"Oh, no, that's not right," Eddie pipes up gently. You looked up at the sound of his words, sitting across the kitchen table while you stood over your brother's shoulder.

Eddie blushes, scrunching into his shoulders, "Sorry, sorry, it's just, you're a little off -- when you're converting ounces to pounds you--"

"I don't need you to teach him about grams, ounces, and pounds, Munson," you say softly, a little giggle escaping your chest. He flushes deeper than before, "I think he's a little young for that." Everyone knew what Eddie did on the side, it didn’t take much to find out what he always had hidden away in his beat up backpack. Your daddy said that it taught him good entrepreneurial skills and as long as he wasn’t getting into trouble or selling to kids, he was fine to work at the shop until the cops came knocking – and they never did.

"Sorry, I just -- Just because it says 5 doesn't mean it's a half pound. 5 ounces isn't a half pound, it's like a 'gotcha' question," he explains. Your brother's eyes are glued to Eddie, his cool rings and long hair, his leather jacket, the soft stubble on his chin. Eddie was the coolest guy your brother had ever met, so if it meant he had to learn weight conversion from a drug dealer, then so be it. He'd listen to him before he’d listen to you.

"How many ounces are in a pound, bud?" he asks.

"Sixteen," your brother replies.

"What's half of sixteen?"

"Eight."

"You're so sharp, dude," Ed encourages, "You should skip second grade, for real."

"So even though it says point five, it's actually eight ounces? Not five ounces?" your brother asks, pencil tracing over the question on his work sheet.

"Exactly," Eddie grins, "See, you get it."

He meets your eyes for your approval and when you nod, running a hand over your little brother's head comfortingly, he has to hide the giddiness on his face in his hands.

"How come Eddie's good at math and you're not?" your brother asks. You laugh, Eddie's snort comes out from behind his hands, dancing through his silver rings.

"I haven't taken a math class in a while, Eddie does math every day," you say, like a kindergarten teacher trying to explain bomb drills.

"How come?"

"Oh, um," you look at Eddie, his flushed cheeks and boyish smile, "He's just -- Eddie's really smart."

You stayed out in Fort Wayne for six months after graduation until your mom got let go at the salon. 'Making room for new talent', they'd said. She'd developed joint pain, recurring carpal tunnel -- she couldn't do as much as she used to. So, like every good first born, you moved back home to help out -- taking whatever job you could find. At first it felt bad to be back in your childhood bedroom, forced back into the mundanity of the world around you. The embarrassment of running into people you knew at the mall or getting gas. But at least one thing was fine, you got to see Eddie -- and he was kind of exciting. Way more exciting than your job at the diner you picked up back in May. It worked out fine, you guess. You'd have mornings off some days to take Beau to school and to soccer, or baseball, or whatever sport he was into that season. Your mom would do hair in the kitchen for the older ladies -- roller sets, perms, colors. She could take her time with them, they had no rush. Then you'd leave for the diner when Beau came home and your mama would take more clients in the evening. Your daddy would be home at five thirty to take on the heat.

Things were easier on your parents when Eddie started coming around to keep Beau occupied. The second grader had a lot of energy, even after sports practice or game days. Eddie's personality matched his in intensity -- always finding new ways to keep him engaged in his homework, in his reading, in the way he navigated the world. Beau was at a fourth grade reading level by the end of the school year and whipping through math like he was born to know it. Your daddy started taking Eddie to boxing matches and monster truck shows with Beau. Your daddy started to forget you were there, too.

Except when Eddie’s big brown eyes started to linger a little too long at you one night when you were at work.

“Munson, I’m old. I’m not stupid,” your dad’s voice grumbles like a bad engine when he talks, “You wanna ask my daughter on a date, don’t you?”

Eddie sputters into his orange soda, smattering it onto Beau who throws into a fit of giggles.

“Uh – what?” he gasps, “Sir, I – excuse me?”

“I see how you’ve been lookin’ at her since you saw her two summers ago,” he shakes his head, coughing a cigarette cough into his fist, “You’ve got the most love sick eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Eddie can’t help the blush that grows in his cheeks, “Sir, I dunno about that.” “Everyone knows you have a huge crush on sissy, Ed,” Beau says matter of factly, taking a big gulp of his chocolate milk. Ed reaches for the cup as he goes for a second gulp and eases it out of his hands. “Slow down, kid,” he huffs, “And gross, dude. Girls have cooties.”

“Sissy has her cooties shot,” Beau shrugged, “She told me when I said there’s no way you liked her, ‘cause girls have cooties.” “Did sissy ask if I told you I liked her?” Eddie asks with a smile. Beau smirks and giggles, tiny teeth shining back at his dad – he’s a troublemaker but he’s no good at keeping secrets. Your dad smirks into his coffee mug, too.

“Did she ask you if I liked her?” Eddie’s heart pounds in his chest when your dad nods at his question.

“Did um – did she say if she liked me?” he stammers out. He pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth to squeeze out any remaining moisture as he saw you walk out of the kitchen to one of your tables. Two regulars, construction guys -- Bryan and Charlie, always come in at the same time and always tip big cause they think you're pretty. Eddie hates that he hates when you talk about them -- you aren't his, it shouldn't make him so upset. He smiles to himself for a minute when you press a hand to your lower back, scrunching your face in pain. He can tell it’s because you always pop your hip to one side when you take an order.

“She might’ve mentioned something,” your dad shrugs, “But I asked you a question, kid.”

The sticky heat from outside flows in through the door and into his chest, “Am I allowed to ask her on a date?”

“She’s twenny-two, she can do what she wants,” he laughs, “Just don’t have her coming home in a cop car and you got my blessing.”

“I promise I won’t have her come home in a cop car,” he breathes out. His excitement outweighs his embarrassment when you come over to the table. To him, your diner dress fits you just right. To you and your dad, you wished it was a little looser. He swallows hard when you plop your hands on the linoleum and lean forward on your palms. Your manicured nails click on the plastic when you drum them a few times, the pen in your hand shines.

“Anything else I can get you boys?” you ask with a smile.

“I think we’re heading out, pum’kin,” your dad’s jagged grin shines through his eyes while Beau crawls over Eddie to get out of the booth, “Gotta take this rugrat to the movies for his friend’s birthday party.”

“But um,” your dad chuckles while he stands up, stretching a bit before adjusting his biker vest, “I think Ed’s gonna stick around. Said he had somethin’ to ask you.”

Five and ½ Years Ago Money flows when he makes it. Your first date was to the movies, nervous hand holds on your knee – uncertain arm around your shoulder. He smelled like Suave body wash and cigarettes. Your second to some restaurant out of town, he stumbled over his drink order and yours but it made you giggle in a way that made him giggle too. He wore a ‘nice’ shirt that Wayne let him borrow but he shifted in it all night – rolling up the sleeves and opening up the collar. Some chicken scratch tattoos on his forearms. He kissed you in the van with warm full lips and smiled all the way home. But as the months went on and Rick started giving him bigger plays, bigger bricks to move – two years in the trenches had his seeing stacks he had only dreamed of before. You got to reap the benefits. A pair of earrings, nicer dinners, paying for your manicures every now and again. New tattoos on his arms, on his chest, littered in them – good ones too, he’d go out to Ohio for them. He’d work his shifts at the garage with your dad and then on some nights and weekends do his business. Your daddy still looked the other way, if the cops weren’t knocking then it didn’t matter. Eddie was making you happy, he was making everyone happy, so there wasn’t any reason for him to worry. You spent your shifts at the diner thinking about when he’d come pick you up. Thinking about when he’d come in during your opening shifts and flirt with you while he had a cup of coffee – sometimes in his coveralls, sometimes in his clothes from the night before. He smelled good, new colognes – he got a couple. You liked the one he wore on date nights and loved the one he wore during the day. Got some silver chains to match his rings – subtle upgrades. He’d started to fill out some – making more money, eating more, more muscle, more cash, more confidence – still yours. Still lovesick. ‘The most lovesick eyes I’ve ever seen.’

His hair tickled your thighs while he had you splayed out on the mattress in Rick’s guest room, the ‘welcome to the weekend’ party still raging down stairs as the night begins to approach the early hours of the morning. Perks of living on the outskirts of town – no neighbors to call the cops to tell you to shut the fuck up. The thud of the music makes the walls vibrate, putting you in a steady trance in the dark. The joints you were passed earlier had made their claim, body languid and floaty — he could have you just how he wants you.

“Fuck, you taste so good,” he whispers into the crease of your thigh while his hands push your knees apart further. His tongue is his best feature, and he knows it now. Easily his strongest muscle with the way it’s started to get him in and out of anything. Sweet charm turned as silver as his rings as he got more and more successful, more and more of Rick’s approval. His tongue lies flat in slow intentional drags between your legs, spit pooling out in its wake. He likes to take his time here to build you up, your soft ‘hm’s encouraging him to keep his pace.

“It’s nice like that, huh?” he asks gently, pressing a kiss to your clit, “Using my tongue on you?”

“Yeah,” you breathe out, eyes closed and sleepy. His head pokes up from between your legs when he notices your body reacting less and less to his mouth. Your sounds get progressively quieter, losing enthusiasm.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks, crawling up over you.

“Mhm,” you respond, eyes still shut.

“You fallin’ asleep on me?” he laughs, thumb coming up to run over the side of your head, “You little lightweight.”

Your lips stretch into a smile, the weight of your high pressing you further into the mattress. Each time you take a breath you feel yourself falling further and further away, it’s almost scary until it's not – because he’s there. You feel the pad of his index finger run down the bridge of your nose and slide over your bottom lip. He quietly eases off the bed, grabbing your panties and jeans from the floor to put them back on with the finesse of a person who’s had to redress their passed out friends many times before. You’re almost out like a light when he drapes the throw blanket over your legs, adjusting it to slouch messily over your shoulders. You barely feel the kiss he leaves on your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispers, before heading back down stairs for a drink. You wake up to the music still blaring downstairs, mouth dry and disoriented – realizing that what woke you up is the sound of the door opening.

“Hey sleepy, didn’t mean to wake you,” Eddie whispers, wincing a bit as the music gets louder. He closes the door with his hip, clicking on the overhead light making you both squint, “Well, technically I did, but I didn’t mean to wake you up like this. I brought you some food, baby.” Heat rushes to your face at the name. Baby. No one had ever called you that before. Not other hookups or boyfriends - always ‘babe’, never ‘baby’. Always ‘babe’, never ‘angel’, never ‘sweetheart’, never ‘my girl’. Eddie called you every sweet name he could think of. “Thank you,” you smile, eyes falling on the ringed hand cradling a paper plate with two slices of pizza, dripping in grease. The other held a can of Pepsi that he watched your eyes fall on for a brief moment.

“They didn’t have Coke, m’sorry,” he scrunches his nose, leaning in to give you a kiss while he places the plate and can on the side table, clicking on the lamp.

“That’s okay, this is fine,” you smile, he smiles back while clicking the big light back off. He crawls onto the bed next to you, the warmth of him enveloping you in his scent, his body heat, his essence. Things moved fast since your first date. You’d never felt loved like this, you’d never been kissed how he kissed you. It’s like he wrote the schematics for your body and kept them a secret until the day you let him touch you in the back of his van. The day you let him take you in your bedroom when your parents went to watch Beau’s baseball game. Even his stare made you flustered. Eddie would say the same about you. Gareth and Jeff would label it as lovedrunk, Rick said he was more addicted to being with you than he was to making him money. Sandra at the diner said he’s obsessed. Obsessed with you. It had a nice ring to it.

“Thank you again,” you nod, cracking open the can of Pepsi that soothes your dry mouth instantly.

“Anything for you,” he smiles while his hand reaches to yours, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“I heard what you said, by the way,” you smirk, “When you left the room.”

His face somehow blanches and fumes red like sweet cherries at the same time, “You weren’t supposed to.”

“Didn’t want me to know that you love me?” you tease, shoulder bumping him with a laugh. He doesn’t laugh back, he just looks at you with soft eyes – big and brown, begging.

“Is that stupid?” he asks softly, disappointment weighing heavy on his tongue.

“No! No! It’s not stupid,” you quickly assure, “No, I um –” You smile down into the can of Pepsi, manicured nails on your opposite hand drumming on the aluminum. “I love you, too,” you whisper, “I was nervous that maybe it was too soon. I didn’t like…I didn’t wanna scare you.” “Scared by my girl saying she loves me? Nah,” he shakes his head, teeth gleaming in a smile that hurts his cheeks, “That’s the best shit I’ve heard all year.” “Why don’t you eat first,” he starts huskily, taking your Pepsi can and placing it on the side table. The cologne on his skin had mixed pleasantly with tobacco, enveloping you in sandalwood, fruit, and smoke. His lips were plush as he pressed first against the corner of your mouth and then the other, holding his index finger in the center of yours. He nuzzled your nose gently before easing himself into a deep kiss, index finger tracing down your cheek. “As I was saying,” he starts again, a light giggle floating out of his chest and escaping pink cheeks, “Why don’t you eat first and then maybe we can go to mine and I’ll show you how much I love you.” “What about Wayne?” you ask, looking at his distorted face with your foreheads so close together. He steals a quick kiss from you again, another on your cheek. “Wayne’s staying close to the plant to do a morning shift, so he won’t be home until tomorrow night,” he grins, “We can play house all day tomorrow.”

“You’re stupid,” you laugh, leaning back to take the pizza off the side table to take a bite. “What? You don’t wanna be my baby all day?” he gets on his knees on the mattress to lean into you, lips finding their way to your cheek and jaw. You squirm under his touch, a feather light gasp coming out of your mouth when he nips at the spot at the top of your neck. “What’s got you so flustered, hm?” he teases into your ear, his ringed hand trailing up your thigh. Your hand covers his and he stops his journey, pulling back a little. “Nothing bad, s’just – I really like it when you call me baby,” you hide your face with one hand, “I don’t think I’ve said that before. It’s just really nice.” “Baby,” he pours out like warm syrup, it sounds so natural in his nicotine soaked voice. He pulls your hand away, smattering slow soft kisses across your cheeks. Mumbling between each one, “Baby, baby, baby.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #dark!eddie munson #dark!eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fan fiction #dark!eddie munson x you #modern!eddie #modern!eddie munsn #baby as if

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binniebeams · 4 months

Text

The Sweetest Drink

Pairing: Jongho x AFAB Reader

Genre/Rating: Vampire AU, Smut, 18+. MDNI

Summary: Seeing the boost your friend gets after her late night adventures at a certain club, you decided to join her and see what all the fuss is about…

Wordcount: 2.4k

Warnings: Club settings, alcohol consumption, sexual conversations, blood, descriptions of feeding (Vampire). NSFW warnings under the cut.

A/N: This is so delayed but hopefully it lives up to any expectations!! Also my app crashed mid editing and formatting so there may be mistakes I missed! I’m so sorry!

Tags: @twisted-tales-of-all @yoonguurt @kwanisms @kpop-stories-21 @stardragongalaxy

NSFW Warnings: Vampire biting/feeding leading to sexual desire, fingering, bloody make-out session, fwb-ish relationship.

---

It had only been a few years since the government released the information regarding their acknowledgment of vampires living among humans, following it with new laws and regulations to make living beside each other a safe and harmonious experience. Restaurants had to expand their menus, and grocery stores did not have to partner with blood banks or donation centers to ensure everyone was accommodated appropriately. Those are all wonderful options but once the sun sets and hunger arises, people resort to…less organized or regulated options… Underground clubs started to pop up left and right, causing a quiet stir among the more curious humans. One of them happened to be the very reason you found yourself sitting in front of your mirror and getting ready for a night out.

“I don’t know why you’re so nervous to go, I’ve been going for months” Kelly was on a whining spree again as you finished up your eyeliner. She was a regular at the club, forming a feeding pact with some guy she said was named Yeosang if you remember correctly-. A change was definitely noticed in her ever since she started seeing him, from her hair looking better, her skin being clearer, and this air of confidence coming from her every time she walked into a room as if she was commanding attention. You wanted that life so badly, you wanted even an ounce of the power she was oozing… “Oh I don’t know, maybe the idea of someone biting into me and sucking my literal blood out is just a bit nerve-wracking?” Your retort had her rolling her eyes in a playful demeanor as you both slipped your shoes on to head out. Clubs weren't really your thing, you were a homebody, and the idea of a bunch of hot and sweaty strangers grinding on each other just didn’t seem like your cup of tea…But here you were, standing at the door waiting for Kelly to pay your cover and get your hand stamped.

An intoxicating smell of alcohol and sweat filled your senses as you made it through the threshold of the building you questioned the structural safety of-. There was no time for trying to distract your mind with small worries like that, you felt yourself getting tugged to the bar where Kelly let out a sort of squeal from seeing her feeding mate “Yeosang!!” Oh boy, here we go, It's time for her to cling to this dude and have heart eyes while leaving you to the wind. “This is Y/N~ That friend I told you I was bringing for Jongho~” Jongho? Who the hell was that? Did she only bring you along to keep some guy company while she escaped off with Yeosang-. “Her? Yeah, I guess she fits his…type” What an ass, what did he mean by that? you were a catch so why did that feel so condescending? He was eyeing you up and down as if he was analyzing you, all the while he had your friend strung up on his arm.

Yeosang pulled out his phone and typed a few things, you could tell it was short and brief from the fact that his volume was on so the sound of his keyboard echoed in your ears when it should have been the blaring music attacking your drums. He didn’t seem to respond to what he had read on the screen, moving his phone to his pocket and whispering something to Kelly as you stood there like a child waiting to hear whatever mom and dad were talking about. You would never get the answer to the questions in your mind, since Kelly had pretty much begged Yeosang to escape away behind the curtain to what you could only assume were private rooms for whatever use seemed to be needed at the time. A roll of your eyes was paired with the sound of her happily being led away and leaving you there at the bar with your almost empty glass and an urge to order some shots.

“Y/N I’m assuming?” The voice that you heard beside you could only be described as blunt but buttery like he almost commanded you to look at him and that's exactly what you did. His eyes pierced into yours as he approached the bar and leaned against it in a way that indicated to you that he had definitely been here before. “And who is asking?” Your voice was laced with a tone of your guard being up, leaving you only to assume this is the ‘friend’ everyone had been mentioning… “Yeosang told me someone was coming and asked me to show you around.” Oh, he’s lying right through his teeth but your judgment was becoming slightly hazy, due to the mix of alcohol and being around him. Jongho could tell you were on edge so he went ahead and ordered a shot for you and waited for you to down it before gesturing for you to follow him. ‘Do you know what this place is for? I’m assuming you do since people don’t just stumble into a place like this”

Did he think you were dumb? Or just blissfully ignorant? If you wern’t so dead set on getting some action tonight, you’d yank your hand away and head to the dance floor. “I sort of have an idea, I just had no idea it was like…this?” There was a pause as you spoke, watching the curtains go past you as he lead you down the hall and your ears were immediately assaulted with sounds of pleasure mixed with pain and subtle cries coming from behind rows of doors. One of which was the threshold you would be stepping through and it was like the world was suddenly so quiet that you could hear your own heartbeat. “I’m not going to kill you, you don’t have to act like your ready to slap me” Jongho released your hand and moved to sit on the plush looking couch in the room, grabbing the drink menu off the small coffee table and starting to browse through as he left you to make yourself comfortable.

“I just uh, haven’t really done this before…” you slowly warmed up to your environment, deciding to make your way over and sit beside him but still at a reasonable distance to where he couldn’t immediately pounce on you. “I can tell, I’m guessing your friend convinced you, enticed you with what kind of place this was and how you would feel?” How did he know? He hit the nail right in the head-. Kelly would go on non stop about Yeosang and how the interactions felt and how it revitalized her in a way, is this just how it makes everyone feel? “She used to be more like me, I guess that’s why we became so close, but lately she’s seemed like a whole new person, like the better version of herself”. As you spoke, he kept his eyes on the menu and just offered subtle nods or small sounds of acknowledgment to your words.

“Did she explain to you how this happens exactly?” This is when he finally turns to you, eye starting to have a hint of red to them and an obvious darkness filling his gaze. “You just have to lay there and be good for me, give yourself to me and everything will go smoothly. Can you do that for me baby?” The distance between you two started to close and you had no idea what was taking over your body. Was it your growing neediness or was there something more to that tint in his iris?…either way, all you could do was nod obediently as he moved you to lay down, his body leaning over yours as he gazed over you to take a look at his…meal for the evening. “I need you to tell me this is okay, that you give consent my dear…” for someone who seemed like a predator looking at fresh prey, we was considerably cautious in the beginning. That is, until you uttered a quiet “I want this” then it was all self control out the window and his lips attached to yours for what felt like eternity but in reality was only a few moment before those plush lips of his were moving their way down to your jaw, then your neck, giving him the chance to get a hint of your sweet smell.

“Do you even realize how delicious you smell…god this is going to be fun” Jongho didn’t frequent the club much, so he made sure to take full advantage of the time he had here, fingers trailing down until the reach the bottom hem of your dress, expertly slipping it up as his attack on your neck continues and all you can do is let out the sweet song that he wanted to hear. Jongho shifted his body to where he was further down and his face was now near your thighs and burning core, exactly where you needed him as he laid kisses to your inner thigh and his fingers worked to slip your undergarments down and tossing them aside to be collected later. be collected later. They were not the primary focus, what was however, was the breath tickling your core and the fingers dancing dangerously close to your clit that was practically begging to be touched.

“Can you hurry up, it will be daytime by the time you get started..” the request, or demand rather, came out as just a whine and the flushed tone on your skin gave away at the fact that you didn’t actually want him to hurry and end this soon. In fact, this prompted him to take even longer, his thumb drawing slow antagonizing circles on your bundle on nerves as he spoke “For someone so quiet. You sure have your own way of being loud”. You could hear his smug attitude without even seeing his face with those words, his hands working expertly before one of his digits teased at your entrance, testing the waters in how you would react. Once he found a reaction from you that let him know you were ready, he slipped one finger in and let you get used to the feeling before continuing.

The cold touch of his skin felt like ice melting on you when your walls squeezed his fingers so deliciously, it brought a whole new sensation to your core and made you clench so sweetly as his lips did their job to explore your inner thighs. Was all of this necessary for Jongho to feed on you? No, but it sure as hell made it more fun. The next touch made you shift slightly, almost like your fight or flight was kicking in and your brain was in prey mode. Newer textbooks and scientific journals can do their best to try and describe the feeling of having your skin punctured by a vampire's fangs but they fall short in telling the full story. It starts with a burning sensation and what feels like a fourteen gauge needle breaking your skin but not deep enough to reach muscle quite like a vaccination or implant. Once the initial puncture was complete, his teeth receding to standard k-9s and the blood starting to flow past his slightly puffy lips and coating his tongue, inducing a groan from him that seemed so animalistic yet erotic at the same time…

The work he was doing with his fingers increased in pace as he sensed you tensing up from the likely pain you were starting to feel, adding an extra finger in and curling his digits pressing against that delicate pressure point inside of you that he knew would drive you crazy. Bloody lips pulled themselves away from your thigh. His gaze stabbed daggers into your expressions, watching the mixture of pain and pleasure overtake you as he spoke “That’s it, focus on me, not on your pain…you’re so good for me…” ironic coming from the guy that’s gripping your thigh as if you could float away and your blood painting his chin. Jongho was growing increasingly hungry but this time in a way that blood wouldn’t be able to satiate, he needed another essence of yours…that however, would take time, he didn’t want to have the whole meal right away.

A knot was quickly forming in your lower half, there was no denying that his hands were like a sculptor making his next piece of art. Pleasure washed over you as you unraveled, causing a smug smirk to decorate his mouth and make his features look all that more proud. The bit of your blood staining his lips was just a cherry on top of the overall look he had as you started to sit back up but your body felt so weak from the feeding and the end of your dry spell. “See, wasn’t so bad was it?” He prided himself in the fact that you wernt crying in pain and still managed to look fucked out from his fingers alone, wiping his mouth and helping you sit up and collect yourself. This rush of dizziness but satisfaction was all you could feel as you reached to grab your panties and slip back into them as he settled himself into the couch, watching your every move but also going back to that damn drink menu. Is this how all the interactions always went or was this only for the first one?

“Do I need to sign anything or is there anything else involved?” This was your way of trying to hint to him that you satisfied but also this lingering sense to be around him, almost like you two have bonded… “No but next time don’t wear lotion, it messes with the taste when I need to bite”. That damn smirk was going to be the end of you but you couldn’t help but smile to yourself mentally at the idea there was going to be a next time. Was it already having an affect on you? Only time will tell but one thing was for sure, this wasn’t going to be the last time you stepped behind that curtain. Now to find Kelly and actually get a club experience in before you needed food to replenish-. Hopefully she was done already, but if she wasn’t, you knew where you could turn…

#mfu-net #cultofdionysusnet #cromernet #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #Jongho #Choi Jongho #jongho fanfic #Jongho fic #Jongho smut #ateez smut

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minkkumaz · 10 months

Text

A SUMMER WITH YOU

spending your first time with your friend woonhak made you yearn for more time together. you had the whole summer ahead of you, and maybe you wanted to be a little bit more than friends.

THE DAY I MET YOU series

PAIRING kim woonhak x fem!reader WC 6.4k TAGS adults dni. fluff. mutual pining. they're so in love oh my gosh. cocky woonhak for a hot minute. kissing wink wink. TAGLIST @woon2u @lumixen @woonhakist @jungwoning OMI NOTE holy shit i've been absolutely dreading writing this but i finally pulled through SEVENTEEN pages later god i am literally tearing up because i finished. definitely not proofread and i am not sorry for any spelling mistakes.

that night probably changed the entire trajectory of your summer. once you were secure behind your closed curtains, you jumped up and down with pure happiness, before lunging yourself on your bed to scream into your soft pillows. how the hell did you end up getting courage to be so casual with woonhak?

you rolled on your back to stare up at the ceiling, holding his cardigan close to your chest. the scent of it was very prominent, making your face heat up. the whole thing replayed in your head in an endless loop, making you lightheaded trying to think about it. there was something about him.

what if it was the way he looked at you, making you feel as if there was a slight chance he felt the same way? your heart fluttered at the thought of it, unable to hide your smile. sleep came easy as you dreamt about the handsome boy next door.

the morning greeted you with melodic chirps of numerous birds, and the sound of an object hitting against the glass of your bedroom window. wait, what?

jumping out of bed, you slipped your feet into cozy slippers and approached your curtains to unravel them. as you revealed the outside world, the light made you rub your eyes sleepily in an attempt to adjust.

in front of you was woonhak, whom you could not stop thinking about last night. he wore a grin on his face and gestured for you to open your window. if you weren’t awake a few seconds ago, you were now.

“morning, sleepyhead. did i wake you?” he asks curiously at your tired figure. though he was entirely trying to keep his cool. it felt like when he met you for the first time, and he was convinced there wasn’t a time that you weren’t absolutely adorable.

“a little, what time is it?” you hum.

“just a bit after eight am. i– i was wondering if you wanted to come over for breakfast! jaehyun is cooking as an apology for making us leave early last night.” his words have underlying desperation. how could you tell him no?

“sounds good, woon, i’ll be over in a sec, kay? just need to wake up a little.” you mumble, moving off into your room without closing the window. in the corner of your eye you saw him running off downstairs like a puppy.

slipping on woonhak’s cardigan, you lazily make your way to the bathroom. once you turn on the tap to splash your face with water, you feel a little more awake. you go throughout the rest of your usual morning routine; brushing your teeth, applying skin care, and using other products to refresh yourself.

ready to go over, you shoot your mom (aka, the less strict parent) a message to let her know you’ll be at the neighbors house for breakfast. she was an early riser, definitely much so in comparison to your dad. and to add onto that, she was much more understanding.

neither of your parents knew about this mystery boy yet, but it was better to briefly tell your mom rather than your dad. he would probably kill you and forbid you from going outside the house ever.

you crossed over to woonhak’s front door and knocked. there was a little bit of laughing behind the door and what you’d assume to be harmless fighting, before he opened to greet you. “hi– ahm come in!” woon’s eyes immediately darted to the piece of clothing that wrapped you snuggly. the piece of clothing that just so happened to be his.

“thank you for inviting me over woon.” you tell him, toeing off your shoes to set to the side and walk in. “uhm, i also have your cardigan from last night!”

in your attempt to take it off he rushes to pull it back over your shoulder, “no– don’t even worry about the cardigan. it’s still kind of cold, yknow aha… unless you want another sweater i have plenty upstairs but um! for now you can wear it is what i mean…”

“thank you then!” you smile, trying your best not to make him feel awkward.

when he walked alongside you into his kitchen, you saw the familiar faces sitting around a table and passing around plates. the sight was really cute, boys in your previous state were much more mundane when it came to their friendships. it was refreshing to see everyone taking care of one another. because of this observation you realized you never really got all of their names.

“hey, y/n! did you and woonhak have fun last night?” jaehyun, the only one you knew, asked you while wiggling his eyebrows.

“yeah! the party was a lot of fun, i appreciate the invite.” woonhak pulled out a chair for you to sit down next to him. blushing, you take a seat.

“i realized about two seconds ago that i never really introduced these guys properly.” woonhak said.

you sigh with the relief that you wouldn’t have to ask. he pointed to each boy as they waved back at you.

“jaehyun, he’s kind of like the leader of our little friend group. sungho, his shoulders are crazy broad and he’s always planning ahead. leehan, the fish fetishizer. riwoo, the tame one. and taesan, every corner you turn he’s taking a photo.” he explains in one breath, taking a deep inhale afterwards.

“fish fetishizer? really?” leehan rolled his eyes, smirking at woonhak.

“i only speak the truth.”

“oh then you wouldn’t mind me telling y/n about how last night you called us scream–” jaehyun tried before getting cut off by a tater tot being chucked across the table.

“shut up jaehyun! i think that nose bleed went to your head.” woonhak mumbled nervously.

“my bad bro. y/n, don’t mind him he’s a little feisty in the morning.” jaehyun jokes before handing you a plate.

the rest of you talked casually as you ate the (somewhat burnt) food jaehyun prepared. one might think that being in a group with your boy crush and all of his best friends would be awkward, however it was anything but that. they were just as welcoming as woonhak was. having the right people to hang out with wouldn’t be as difficult to find as you initially thought

there was much laughter around the table, and lots of teasing towards woonhak. some things you learned were that they were all trying to start a band called boynextdoor. ironic, right? and that they all had their own distinguished hobbies. each boy extremely unique and likable, but woon was always your favorite.

once breakfast was finished up, you all went in woonhak’s room to hang out some more. he had a lot of basketball related things around, as well as actual basketballs. but what caught your attention enough was the large teddy bear in the corner. you immediately went towards it and wrapped the bears arms around you.

“so, what were you guys wanting to do?” taesan wondered out loud, scrolling on his phone.

“we could hit up the arcade that just opened up down the street! i heard they have really good food in there too.” jaehyun suggested eagerly.

“oh shit, do they have pizza?” riwoo perked up.

“that’s basically criminal if an arcade doesn’t have pizza, so they better.” woonhak claimed.

“i think it would be fun! i enjoy arcades.” you beamed at the idea, having not been to an arcade in awhile.

following your minor discussion, a gameplan was decided. you would all go home to get ready, then meet up in about half an hour to leave for the arcade. once it was settled, you left them to run back to your house.

it didn’t take very long for you to get ready. you hastily dug through your closet to find something nice to wear, holding up the different options to your body. you settled on something casual and comfortable to get you through the day.

a mixture of feelings stirred in your stomach as you walked down the stairs, and left back over to woonhak’s house. all of his friends were very kind and welcoming to you, it was a breath of fresh air. this made you smile to yourself before knocking on the door again.

woonhak gave you a familiar up and down look when he opened the door.

“hi! have we met before?” you joked, playing with the hem of your top.

“maybe we have, maybe we haven’t.” he played along, gesturing you to come inside. you ran up the stairs, quickly met with the boys you were with not too long ago.

riwoo and leehan were doing god knows what, laughing like crazy people. you grinned at jaehyun’s confused expression before woonhak appeared behind you once again.

“y/n’s ready! let’s head out.” he grinned, putting two hands on your shoulders to shake you lightly.

“is it far?” you turn your head to look at the boy, underestimating the proximity of your faces. he lets out a sudden exhale that brushes against your eyes, making you blink. the rest of the boys watched silently, holding back a laugh at the awkward moment.

“um– it isn’t that far, right guys?” he stammers.

“totally not far at all pshh”

“just a ten - fifteen minute walk yeah.”

the boys murmured over eachother as the two of you pulled away, your red face continued to deepen. everyone paraded out of the bedroom in an instant while you tread on the heels of woonhak. it’s not like you guys haven’t gotten super close before. all things considered, you kissed him on the cheek. so why was it different now?

you paid it no mind, instead trying to replace your thoughts with eagerness to spend the day playing games and eating yummy food.

as soon as you got to the arcade, your vision was immediately swarmed with glow in the dark lights and the booming sound effects of video games. there were colorful stars lining up the carpet and a handful of kids running around, drunk on energy.

there was a chorus of ‘wow’s’ from the group, woonhak enthusiastically pointing at some of his favorite games while jaehyun was hopping around him. their bond was noticeable, puppy on puppy behavior if you had to compare it to something.

tables and chairs were placed around a certain part of the scenery, where the smell of food wafting through the air became obvious that it was the food court. riwoo yelled over the noise to alert the rest, saying something about how good the food looked.

the loudness gave you the slightest bit of a headache, but you tried to ignore the discomfort in a futile attempt.

“you okay?” woonhak asked, getting eerily close to make sure you hear him.

“yeah! my head just hurts a little bit, this is definitely a lot louder than the party!” you shrug it off, not thinking much of it since you assumed it would pass.

“no worries! here, would this make it better?” he scavanged through his pocket before pulling out an airpods case. you examined him, puzzled at how they would help.

woonhak pulled your face a little bit closer, pushing a pod into each of your ears, holding his hands over them for a second before letting you go. there was significant noise cancelling, making everything slightly quieter.

“better?” he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear that was caught in the ear bud.

“yes.. thank you.” you nodded timidly.

by the time you went to look around for the remainder of the group, they seemed to be all at their respective games. riwoo and sungho were head to head in a game of mario cart, using their whole bodies to turn the steering wheel.

“guess it’s just us then? what do you want to play?”

“we can do whatever you want to do! weren’t you looking at the basketball game?” you try to think back to what he was pointing at, but his face lights up telling you your answer.

“if you want to see me absolutely dominate then i’d love to take you over to basketball.” he brags, wiping imaginary dust off his shoulders.

“let’s see if you can live up to that then, yeah?”

“you’re on.” he holds his hand out for you to grab, and you take it with confidence. you giggle as he drags you over to the basketball game, excited to show you his talents.

“watch the pro handle it! if i beat the highscore you owe me a favor coupon.” woonhak smirks, swiping the card against the reader and handing it to you before the timer begins.

“and if you don’t, i get one! so you better win before i make you do something stupid like kiss jaehyun.” you light - heartedly threaten, amused at the shivers woonhak visibly gets.

the bright red numbers count down to zero, initiating the game to start. woon swiftly grabs each basketball and chucks it into the basket. most of them make it with nothing but net, making you doubtful of the little bet you guys enforced.

the counter continued to rise as you watched in horror, as he was unexpectedly really good the game. fortunate to him, he got one last point that secured his high score. tickets poured out of the machine while he cockily looked back at your wide eyes.

“oh my goodness i won!” he smiled, ripping the tickets from the feeder.

“okay maybe i underestimated you a little bit, that was actually really impressive.” you complimented, clapping lightly.

“i impressed you?” he blushed, biting back a huge smile.

“don’t make me take it back woonhak!” you said, making him laugh at your response. he pushed the pile of tickets in his hands into a complimentary bag they gave upon purchasing your credits.

“let’s see what game you’re good at now! your turn to pick the game.” discussed with you, slinging the bag back over his shoulder.

“can we try stacker so you can watch me beat the high score as well?” you declared.

“hey, for the record we don’t get a bet for this one! i already beat you fair and square and my favor coupon is looking real nice in my head.”

“then– if i win you have to win me something from the claw machine!”

“pft, i’d do that for you anyways, y/n.” he poked your cheek before walking away from you to the stacker game. where’d all this random courage from him come from?

once you got to the machine, you were focused enough to happily say that you were able to keep your word as you quickly beat the game. a few passerbys gaped at you surprised. arcades weren’t normally something you went to all the time, but when you did, you had a history with the stacker machine.

blue blocks moving side to side became written in your brain cells while you put on a spectacular performance. a large ‘jackpot’ sign flashing on the screen.

“guess i’ll be walking out with a stuffed toy, right?” you hold your hands behind your back, looking up at woonhak cheekily.

“guess you will.” he exaggerated a sigh, trying not to dwell on how cute you looked right now.

“there’s one just around the corner that i saw when we were coming to this one. it had a lot of cute plushes, can we try that one?”

“you have too much faith in me.” he complained, walking with you to the crane of your dreams.

pastel sanrio plushies littered the floor of the bottom, with a large claw towering over it. your eyes sparkled as you stared at the one you wanted, immediately jumpy.

“woon i think i might explode, this yellow cinnamoroll is so precious!” you awed, making your plushie obsession quite obvious.

“i’ll try to get it for you using my magic skills.” he teases, pressing the card into the reader. music started playing and he wrapped his hand around the joystick, focusing carefully on the one you wanted.

the claw unfolded, grasping the edge of the stuffed animal before closing on nothing, leaving you empty handed for the time being.

“trust me i’ll get it the next time!”

approximately twenty - two more attempts later, woonhak finally got you the plushie. you were practically sleeping over the machine until you felt it shake, as something dropped down the bottom. he placed it in your arms while you got all of your energy back to smile ear to ear.

“oh my gosh after the eighth attempt i didn’t think it would happen!” you expressed your doubt.

“hey i told you i’d get it. a promise is a promise, right?”

“thank you, woon! i really love it.” you hugged him, your cinnamaroll still in your hands behind his back.

he was tall enough that his head rested comfortably against the top of your head. you would’ve stayed like this for longer if you didn’t hear the call of your names over the ambiance of the arcade. the two of you pulled away shyly, seeing jaehyun wave you both over.

“guys! we’re about to order food, taesan is looking for a booth for us.” jaehyun called out as you approached him.

“damn riwoo must be really hungry.” woonhak kid around.

“don’t mess with riwoo and his appetite, he’ll probably order two whole pizza’s.”

all of you joked while finding the other four boys seated at a booth. the server had just left, leaving room for all of you to squeeze into the leather seats. you sat in one of the corners with woonhak, sungho settled next to you.

“you already ordered?” jaehyun asked.

“yeah we just got three pizzas and some chicken wings. that cool?” riwoo informed you guys since you had just gotten there.

“pizza sounds great. i’ve been craving it ever since you mentioned it at the house.” you added.

“it’s not really busy over here so they said it should come out quick.” leehan mentioned.

there was busy conversation amongst you all while waiting for the food to come out. you heard the tales of how sungho apparently ‘destroyed riwoo’s sorry ass’ in mario cart while leehan was casually playing frogger by himself the entire time.

and apparently, jaehyun wiped all his credits on the spin wheel games that he settled for watching taesan play fruit ninja for the past two hours. you happily bragged your stuffed animal that woonhak won you, ignoring the smirks and wiggling of eyebrows they all gave him.

as the grumbling of everyones stomachs got louder, all of the food came out just on time. sungho helped clear the table to make room before everyone immediately began digging in.

laughter was shared over the shit ton of food that riwoo ordered, as well as a small debate whether pineapple actually belonged on pizza or not (and you stood proudly on the pineapple side, because there’s nothing wrong with a little sweet on a banging savory dish).

yet in between all of this, the food was gone as quickly as it came. a second round of wings as well as some dessert was ordered, but you just leaned back completely full. seeing riwoo and leehan absolutely obliterate the menu was funny to watch, but nothing you’d be able to do yourself.

“what do you mean you’re not as good at fruit ninja as i am?! i beat the high score like twice!” taesaen argued with jaehyun.

“okay bro, but i’m just saying if you had let me get behind the screen i would’ve devoured you!” jaehyun scoffed playfully.

you watched their argument, barely noticing the yawn that left your lips.

“are you tired already?” woonhak looked at your half - lidded eyes.

“a little bit. standing there watching you fail miserably at the claw machine tuckered me out.”

“um– here.” he pat his lap gently, “you can lay down– only if you want to i know you’re tired and i think we’ll be sitting here for awhile so–” you cut him off by letting your head fall against his lap, the rest of the boys too caught up in conversation to notice.

“thank you woon.” you spoke sleepily, staring at him through your eyelashes.

“of course..” his words wobbled, feeling tense at the closeness.

and while normally you’d be freaking out, you were too exhausted to care. you found amenity with the slight touch of the skin below his shorts against your head. it made you feel close to him, immediately being lulled to sleep.

the boy above you could only stare at your sleepy expression, making you look more perfect than you already were. he let his hand cup the side of your face to prevent you from slipping off, slightly intertwined with your hair.

you lay like this for a bit, clutching the soft yellow fur of your plushie to your chest. woonhak thought that you made something so mundane like sleeping look so beautiful. you cuddled your cheek into his hand unknowingly. making him grin.

nobody around the two of you noticed how long you’d been asleep for until sungho’s hand brushed against your shoe that was closely curled up against the rest of your body. in an attempt to apologize he realized you weren’t awake, and woonhak was too caught up staring at you.

“you look kind of creepy staring at her woonhak.” sungho’s words snap woonhak out of his intense gaze.

“what? i wasn’t i was just zoning out a little.” woonhak rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.

“oh my god you were totally staring at her! you like her, right?” jaehyun shouted, making woon quickly cover your ears in the case you woke up and heard.

“dude!”

“you’re like leehan when he’s staring at his fish, so i’d be crazy to think you didn’t like her.” taesan chimes in from across the table.

“how did she fall asleep anyways? i’s really loud in here.” riwoo mumbles with a full mouth.

“she was just tired. it’s starting to get late so we should dip soon.” woonhak suggested.

there was a simultaneous agreement around the table, so everyone began to clean up and pay while you still slept soundly.

“are you gonna wake her up?” leehan asked woonhak as everyone else started to get out of the booth.

“ah– i don’t want to bother her.” he thought to himself for a moment, before getting an idea. “actually leehan can you help me get her on my back? i’ll just carry her back home it’s not that far away anyways.”

leehan nodded with approval, helping get you on woonhak’s back. woon moved your arms around his neck and held you by the scruff of your knees. once you were properly settled, he followed the rest of his friends out of the loud interior of the arcade.

“woonhak!!” jaehyun whined, “you’re so cute why don’t you carry me around like that.”

“sleep with one eye open, jae.”

you felt your body bouncing up and down slightly with every step woonhak took. the boys conversed while walking down the sidewalk, as it became more audible the more awake you became. as your eyes stirred open, you felt fluffy hair tickling the side of your face. which now you reallize was woonhak’s.

the crook of his neck was warm from you resting your head there, and the breeze was light in the air. you squeezed your hands tighter around him, letting out a quiet hum.

“you awake?” woonhak whispered as you let out a muffled ‘mhm’ into his shoulder.

“was i asleep for long..?” your voice was a bit cracky from just waking up.

“probably for like an hour? we left ten minutes ago, i’m surprised you didn’t wake up while i tried getting you on my back.” he explained to you.

“oh my– i’m sorry woon you should’ve woke me up!” you became more awake now, feeling embarrassed.

“y/n it’s fine! i really don’t mind at all. we’re super close to the house so just hold on for now, yeah?”

“hh okay…”

you let woonhak carry you back to your shared street, holding yourself close to him in order not to fall. he felt the rise an fall of your chest against his back, making him aware that he wouldn’t of done this for anyone but you (maybe jaehyun if he begged hard enough).

and when the houses grew near, you found yourself disappointed of another night coming to an end. you didn’t want to leave him, hoping that these nights could last forever and ever.

pulling up to the familiar grass spot in between your houses, he gently lowered you back on the floor. though he made sure to hold you in case you stumbled.

“this feels familiar. almost like we did it last night too.” you pointed out.

“let’s hope it doesn’t feel repetitive for the rest of the summer.”

“right.. thank you again for tonight woonhak, it was nice to properly meet all of your friends and whatnot.”

“what can i say? you’re apart of the group now.” he answered, putting his cold hands in the pockets of his varsity jacket.

“i’m glad to of been welcomed so quickly, i really like hanging out together.” you mentioned.

“then i’ll see you tomorrow with something new to do, y/n.”

woonhak watched as you walked back into your house once again, a sight that he hoped he would get used to for the rest of the summer. or preferably, the rest of forever.

everyday beyond this point you hung out with woonhak and his friends. they welcomed you into their daily activities and random nonsense, making you feel optimistic for the future. and over time, you became a lot more comfortable around all of them.

you bonded with the boys a lot, and some of the times they would side with you over woonhak to see him get mad. shooting him with waterguns when the sun was barely rising over your homes, pulling harmless pranks like zip - tying the spokes of his bike to the chain stay. just a lot of stupid things that helped you grow closer to the group.

playful teasing always ensued between you and jaehyun, meaningless arguments over who woonhak loves more. and despite all fun and games, it has always been you. ever since you moved next door it has never stopped being you.

maybe love was stupid, how quickly it can change people. however the feelings he had for you didn’t change him, rather make him a better version of himself.

not only did the relationship between you and the other boys grow, there was something about you and him that would always be special. woonhak was extremely driven by physical contact, it was evident with him and jae.

so even in the least romantic situations like hugging tightly against his back to shield yourself from water balloons, it made both of your hearts flutter.

one month into summer and you wouldn’t trade it for the world. you woke up on a slightly hotter morning, sweating from your room feeling like an oven. on your nightstand, your phone was already blowing up from texts from the groupchat and a couple messages from jaehyun saying he’s leaving the group chat forever (but he usually came back in the span of ten minutes after taesan re - invited him).

you opened your window to get some fresh air, adjusting your curtains so they’d stay tied to the side of the frame. across the way, woonhak was doing something on his computer that you couldn’t bother to pay any attention to.

quickly going to your nightstand to unplug your phone, you shot him a text message.

‘come to the window woonie poopy!’

back at the window frame, you leaned on it with your elbow while waiting for woon’s phone to light up and him to come give you attention. he gave a quick glance to his phone, seeing your name pop up and immediately smiling.

he pulled off his headset and lifted his window open to greet you, “good morning sleepy head.”

“pleasure to see you too, woonhak. do we have any plans for today?” you ran a hand through your messy hair, trying to flatten it a little bit.

“nah not as a group. leehan is busy cleaning up his fish tank today, that’s how you know it’s getting real. sungho and jaehyun are playing video games together right now, i see them both online. for the rest i have zero clue.” he explains everyones plans.

“damn i have nothing to do today then.”

“actually i was thinking we could hang out in a bit. maybe just me and you..?” he offered.

“that sounds really nice woon. figure out a plan and i’ll go over to you!” you exclaimed, rushing to go get ready.

when you got to the bathroom, you quickly did your morning routine, not to keep woonhak waiting. the slightest bit of toothpaste dribbled down the side of your mouth while you fought with the jammed cabinet, trying to get out your deodorant.

once you were finished with everything, you applied little bits of makeup and put on your jewelry that would match with the outfit. you ended up settling with a cute tank top and some of woon’s little boy shorts you stole last time you were at his house.

the fit was complete and you were out the door. the sun felt warm against your skin, swiftly disappearing once you were under the awning of his porch. you left three gentle knocks before you heard someone coming down the stairs to open the door.

“jeez you got ready quick, you ready to go?” he joked.

“wait where are we going anyways, do i need a jacket?” you looked at the light jacket woonhak was wearing over his t - shirt.

“i don’t think so, this is just for the aesthetics. we’re going to the mall, i’ll buy you breakfast there?” he tells you.

“ouh breakfast! can we go to that one spot next to the pasta place in the food court? they have really yummy breakfast burritos.” your stomach grumbled at the thought, he nodded with a laugh.

woonhak pulled his bike from the garage while you happily sat yourself on the back, holding tightly to his waist like the first time you guys met.

“i think you should invest in a bike soon since we use them so much.” woonhak mentioned while starting off in the direction of the mall.

“are you trying to get me off your back? literally.” you giggled at your own joke.

“i’d never get rid of you i’m just saying!” he tried defending himself.

“whatever whatever, maybe for christmas?”

the ride to the mall was slightly longer than your usual bike ride, but you and woonhak talked so much that it barely felt like five minutes. he had that effect on you, making time pass like crazy. he parked at a nearby bike rack and locked up before coming back to you.

like all shopping centers, it was filled with the rustle and bustle of people carrying multiple bags on their arms. you ran ahead of him towards the food court, craving absolutely anything.

“woon it’s right here!” you pointed at the sign, waiting for him to catch up.

“just a breakfast burrito right? i might get a pancake combo plate, i’m kind of hungry too.”

“yup! i heard the pancakes are really good here, promise to share a bite with me?” you plead.

“i guess i could give you a little.” he pretends to be annoyed while you’re just beaming with joy.

at the counter he orders while you search for a table nearby, most of them are occupied even though it’s pretty early in the morning. luckily your eyes land on an empty one, so you seat yourself to wait for him.

woonhak comes back with a tray that holds both of your meals, and you melt at the smell of it growing closer. he places your food in front of you before sitting on the chair.

“thank you woon!” you unwrap the foil from your burrito in awe.

“don’t mention it. here, you can have the first bite.” he cuts into the pancake with his fork, getting a little bit of the whip cream, “say ahh.”

you opened your mouth slightly as he drew the fork to your lips, biting down on the soft batter. as soon as you tasted it your eyes immediately lit up.

“oh my gosh we might have to trade.. this is the best thing i’ve ever tasted.” you practically melt in your seat.

“no way! i didn’t even get to try it yet!”

“okay fine fine, this burrito is just as good.” you pout.

“wait y/n– you have something on your face hold on.” he takes the tip of his finger to wipe a bit of whip cream from the corner of your mouth suddenly, “all better.”

“ahm– thank you…” you thank him sheepishly, darting your eyes away from his.

“it was nothing, let’s eat?”

the two of you began to casually eat your meals, making more talk in between bites. he kept telling you how good the pancake was to tease you, and you might’ve gotten a few more pieces from him after the slightest bit of begging. how could he say no to you?

when you were all done and your stomach’s felt full, you both ventured off into many different stores and browsed through a variety of items.

woonhak spent a decent thirty minutes trying on hats and sunglasses, while you accepted or denied them like you were on tinder. you took many photos of him for memories, laughing together at the stupid point fives you got.

there were also a couple cute outfits you scanned through, woon insisting that he grab something to match because it would be cool. wasn’t that something that couples normally did? you didn’t care much as you two did look really nice side by side.

“that dress looks good on you.” he blushed as you twirled around in front of a mirror.

“you really think so? i don’t know if blue is my color.”

“well for the record it’s one of my favorite colors and you definitely do it justice.”

store after store you ended up with more bags, exhausted from the weight of it all. but as long as you were with him you could learn to ignore all of it.

but there was something that made him uneasy the closer the end of your hangout became, and you couldn’t really figure out why. he fidgeted with his fingers, fixated on you.

“woon there’s a photo booth over there! we should go check it out before we leave yeah?” you tug his arm towards the white machine with a curtain. his heartbeat quickens.

placing your bags outside of it, you move the curtain and climb inside, immediately seeing you and woonhak’s face show up on the screen.

“hmm two strips for five dollars, i think i have a five dollar bill in my wallet actually hold on!” you rummage through your wallet.

“ah– it’s just five dollars i can pay for it, don’t worry.”

“but it was my idea, plus you paid for my breakfast this morning i swear it’s fine.” you furrow your eyebrows, holding the corner of the bill in your hand.

“oops i already put it in.” he slid the money into the slot before a timer popped up, it was too quick to complain so you just set your wallet to the side.

the first photo, you and woon did peace signs, making silly faces towards the camera. the next one after that the distance between the two of you became slightly closer to get the pose right, your thigh touching his.

you intermingled your arms, squeezing eachothers faces cutely to make fish faces. the action makes both of you laugh.

“leehan would like that one.” you emphasized the after shot on the screen before the timer moved back.

“if you show him a photo of me as a fish he might fall in love with me, i don’t know though.” he insisted, making you shove him playfully.

“just hurry up and pose for this next one.”

woonhak smiled big for the camera, leaning his head to touch yours. you smiled as well, feeling a wave of euphoria rush over you after seeing both of you grin so big next to eachother.

in the short moment you pondered what to do next; a hand heart, finger guns? woonhak tapped your leg to get your attention, making your head turn to look at him, faces adjacent.

“uh– can i tell you something, y/n? and you promise you won’t get mad?” he stuttered, his hands gripping onto the hem of his jacket sleeves. “mad? why would i get–” fingertips found their way to the sides of your face, holding you gently, palm barely ghosting over your cheeks. woonhak leaned in to kiss you, lips finding yours perfectly. you both closed your eyes, embracing the sense of familiarity that you felt against him. 3… 2… 1… snap!

the kiss lasted no more than those long three seconds, but the spark in between felt so real. when he pulled away, you heard the sound of your film dispensing outside of the machine. you looked at him with a flushed face, mouth slightly agape.

“i really like you, y/n. and spending time with you this summer has just proved that so much more for me. am i stupid to think that you might like me too?” he confesses, hands still cradling your face.

“woonhak.. no you’re not stupid at all i– i really like you too.” you smile, feeling the pressure of your crush get a little lighter.

“you don’t know how glad i feel to hear you say that holy shit.” he kisses you again and again.

“i almost would’ve told you myself if things didn’t speed up.” you giggled at the feeling of his lips on your cheek. "does this mean i can use my favor coupon to get you to be my girlfriend?"

"of course i'll be your girlfriend, woonhak, it's no favor."

“oh my gosh.. we need to tell the boys they’ll freak out!” he realizes.

“jae will probably cry out of jealousy.”

“yeah no he’ll definitely start crying.” he laughs, trailing his hand down to yours to lace your fingers together.

woonhak pulled you out of the booth while you picked up your things. he immediately came back to your side with two strips in his hand

the photos held a memory the two of you would never forget. three photos above showing a fond relationship between friends, and the last photo showing something a little more.

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THE DAY I MET YOU series

#⋆｡˚ my works #woonhak x reader #kim woonhak x reader #woonhak fluff #kim woonhak fluff #boynextdoor woonhak #boynextdoor fluff #boynextdoor fanfic #boynextdoor scenarios #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor #woonhak #boynextdoor jaehyun #kpop fanfic #kpop x reader #kpop fluff #kim woonhak x you #woonhak x you

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rogersideup · 2 years

Text

The Senses of Steve

Taste

Series masterlist

Previous part: Smell

Summary: With no one around, and nothing but a head massage to occupy your mind, you finally felt like you knew where you belonged.

Word count: 14,580

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI.

Authors note: Hi besties! We’ve finally made it to the end :,) this chapter is currently un-edited because I wanted to push it out without you guys having to wait another day. I’ll be back to edit it and add proper content warnings tomorrow. Thank you for all your love and support on the series and dealing with the mistakes if you’re seeing this before the edit. I appreciate you all sm <3

"Here!" Steve announced as he walked into the room and placed a glass of freshly made iced coffee onto your vanity from behind you. "Drink this, coffee usually relaxes you, right?"

Your hair was up in a high messy bun and your makeup was only halfway done. You definitely looked a little crazy, but you kept telling yourself to trust the process. At some point you'd look like the best version of yourself, but right now... "Thank you, Baby." You smiled, dropping your eyeshadow brush from your hand to pick up the coffee.

He was right, vanilla cold brew was one of the most comforting tastes in the world to you. You drank it every morning without fail, sometimes you'd go for a second cup mid-day as a pick me up. Through good days and bad, you could always count on a good cup of coffee to wrap your senses up in a big hug and comfort you through any chaos life threw your way. One sip in and your nerves were slightly calmed, not enough to stop overthinking everything about the night ahead.

"Your dress is almost done being ironed, I'll grab it since I have to go get my suit anyways." He told you with kind eyes looking into yours through the mirror. "How are you feeling?"

His big warm hands gripped your shoulders, rubbing and squeezing away at the muscles to try and ease the anxiety. Tonight was a big deal, all of the avengers were asked to partake in an after award ceremony for the bravest men and women in the military. As a team you would smile, shake hands, and thank those for the sacrifices they've made after they were awarded with titles of great honor. Some people work decades for titles like these.

That in itself wasn't the issue, if it was just that you would have no problem attending.

The problem was that a few avengers let it slip that you would be receiving your own award tonight. The highest award the nation had to offer for gallantry, the Medal of Honor, all because you ran into that building with that bomb.

Oh, and your mom was going to be there receiving her own award.

Said mom you haven't spoken to since eighteen years old. Doesn't know anything about your life Mom.

"I don't understand why I need an award for doing what I signed up for." You huffed. "Oh you did the bare minimum? Here's a shiny medal!" you mocked, finding any and all ways to not show up tonight.

"What you did was not the bare minimum." Steve giggled at your antics. "You deserve the award, and you deserve to accept it." He kissed your cheek. "Stop deprecating the value just because you don't want to go. This is a big deal, we're going to celebrate our brave girl accordingly."

"Steve?" You questioned, he leaned down to rest his chin on your shoulder to get a better view of his favorite face in the mirror.

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember the year 1941?" You asked rhetorically.

"No, not at all." He shook his head with a mischievous grin.

"Oh, so you don't remember when you stood up the United States Senator in a room full of reporters and 10 members of the Parliament by not accepting your Medal of Honor?"

"Doesn't ring a bell" Steve giggled.

"Huh" You contemplated his lie.

"What can I do to make this easier?"

"Promise me we can leave right after it's over?" You begged.

"Promise." He agreed.

"Yeah? And what if the senator comes up to you and is like 'oh! Captain Rogers! It's so nice to see you! Let's have a fourteen hour long conversation about the political climate of our country that's so boring our partners are going to want to gauge their eyeballs out!' Hmm? Then what?" You challenged, earning more laughter from Steve.

"I'd say, sorry Mister Senator. My beautiful girl just got her Medal of Honor and has very important business to attend, I hope you have a wonderful night." He assured you.

A groan full of nothing but pure dread slipped past your lips as you slumped forward letting your elbows hit the vanity and your head fall into your hands.

"Baby, it'll be fine." His serious voice came out.

"I don't want to see my Mom." You complained fully understanding that you probably sounded pathetic to him. "I don't want to see my Mom, I don't want you to have to see my Mom, I don't want to hear anything she has to say, I don't want to have to fake a smile for a crowd as she walks across the stage we're on, I don't want to shake her hand, I don't want pleasantries, professional courtesy, and small talk where she pretends to care about anything I've been up to just because I'm an avenger now."

"What are the chances this is going to go poorly?" He asked.

"90 percent" You mumbled.

"That's a 10 percent chance that it'll go well." He raised. "We've made miracles happen with less than that, yeah?"

"I think the only thing worse than seeing her again going poorly is it going well. I don't want that." You lifted your head. "I don't want anything to do with her."

"Okay." Steve nodded in understanding, pressing a series of gentle kisses to your shoulder. "Then take it for what it is, okay? One night. Just a couple hours where you have to coexist in a room with someone who's a stranger now. You shake her hand once, you smile for the photo. Then when the time is right, you accept your award from all of us, we shower your in all the love and pride we could possibly give you, then we sneak out have some fun at the private after party, and the two of us will go to bed peacefully and completely relieved that the night is over."

"You missed a huge part" You reminded him. "Socializing, mingling. We're always expected to mingle."

"And I'll be with you the whole night" He grinned. "If she approaches, I'll do whatever I can to get you away. I'll make sure nothing terrible happens."

"How do you feel about tonight?" You questioned, trying to check in on his mind.

"Fine. Not too keen on meeting someone who caused you so much pain but getting to celebrate you outweighs all of that."

"You're too sweet for your own good, you know that, Rogers?" Your eyes closed and your face scrunched up with delightful giggles as he purposefully placed feather light kisses in the crook of your neck to tickle you.

"Remember how you got your dress altered?" Steve asked.

"Uh huh?"

"Took all that pretty fabric off the bottom cause it was too long for you." He smiled, still looking at you in the mirror. "I had them turn some of the extra fabric into a pocket square for my suit so we can match. Doesn't that make you like... a million times more excited to go?"

"A milliondy-trilliondy times more excited." Your smile stretched from ear to ear.

"It's going to be so great. Everyone in the room will know that the prettiest, bravest girl at the event is all mine cause I get to carry a little piece of your dress in my pocket."

"You're so sweet, I'd be lost without you." His arms wrapped around you from behind, and squeezed you generously.

"I'm the lucky one" The smile in his voice was apparent. "I'm going to the store really quick with Bucky, when I get back I'll bring your dress."

"Thank you" You appreciated his warmth for the last few moments with a big deep breath, lifting your hand up behind you and placing it on his cheek. The little hairs growing along his jawline were longer than you've ever seen or felt them since meeting him, it made you smile knowing he was feeling far too lazy to shave.

"Don't worry, I'll get rid of this thing on my face before tonight." He read your mind.

"I wasn't worried." You opened your eyes to read his expression. "I think you pull it off nicely."

"You know how much I hate shaving" Steve pouted.

"So why not grow a beard?" You questioned with a tiny bit of skeptical confidence.

"I don't think people want Captain America to be anything but clean cut." He admitted.

"I think Steve should be whoever he wants to be, and Cap is just going to have to be okay with that." You smiled as he nudged his cheek further into your hand. "You're perfectly capable of saving the world with a handful of hair on your face."

"I'll take that into consideration, beautiful." Steve giggled and kissed your hair once more. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay, have fun with your boyfriend!"

"I will" He laughed. "I love you, you're going to be fine."

"I love you too."

Steve came back about an hour later with your dress when you were finally done with your makeup and just finishing up your hair with a final run through of hairspray to keep all your hard work in place.

The both of you get dressed together and you couldn't help but to be endlessly thankful for him in those moments. He was helpful from cracking jokes to ease your mind, making you laugh as he cursed his three piece suit for being so confusing and having too many buttons, down to helping you zip up your dress and insisting on buckling the straps of your heels.

When you were both fully dressed, perfumed, and styled to the public's standard you took one final look at each other. Your shaky hands reached to straighten out the dark teal colored satin pocket square made of your dress, and centered his tie one last time before his hands caught yours.

He kissed the back of each one and professed that you were the prettiest girl he's ever seen, and in true Steve fashion, admitted that you were, in fact, so pretty that you still made him nervous.

Your love was so sickeningly sweet that the only thoughts that filled your head as you walked down to the event was questions of how you got to be so lucky, and what you could've possibly done to earn the life you had. The life where you were an avenger, and your boyfriend was quite literally the superhero of your dreams.

The same superhero tale that was told to you as a kid, the very one you dreamed would sweep you off your feet and provide you with the love you desperately needed and craved when you laid awake at night as a teenager, wondering what you did to deserve a dead father and a mother who didn't love you.

You had him now. You felt proud that you didn't need him to complete you. That teenager angst of two half's coming together to make a whole had been thrown out the window and been replaced with something so much healthier, and safer. You and your knight and shining armor were two wholes that enjoyed the luxury of love and affection. You could only hope that your growth shined through your posture and glowed through your skin with a golden, glimmering sheen.

You grew exponentially faster and larger than life since the last time your mother saw you. All you wanted now was for her to see it with her own eyes, and drink in the harsh reality that you were whole without her. Though not by choice, you were whole without your father. You are whole without your superhero, but a little extra shiny and radiant with him by your side.

You stepped through the large double doors into the luxurious and lively event room, a nostalgic wave of emotion overtook. It felt like parent open house night in elementary school, that after school event where your parents come to see your classroom, meet your teachers, and see some physical proof of your hard work.

This time your artwork didn't hang on bulletin walls with your name signed at the bottom with glitter glue, you weren't reading your poetry to classmates and their parents, your teacher wasn't praising you for being a joy to have around and a good example for your peers.

You couldn't help but to wonder if she felt the same- if your mother had grown and changed in your years of not speaking. Perhaps she bloomed and blossomed the same way you did, the harsh reality of life turning you both into diamonds. Maybe she was whole without you too, maybe she found the half of herself she lost with the passing of your father. There was a chance she was golden and glimmering, shining brightly with radiant wisps.

Steve pulled you out of your thoughts by squeezing your hand with excitement as he recognized a handful of friendly faces he hadn't gotten a chance to see in a while. You shared that joy with him when you finally worked up the nerve to look around the room too and being met with a whole bunch of old colleagues, mentors, and commanding officers you were more than happy to introduce to Steve.

Most of them reunited with you through kind words, congratulations, and praises higher than you thought you deserved. You accepted them modestly, mostly because if you didn't Steve would fight you tooth and nail until you did, then invited them to the private after party in the private sector of the compound.

If you didn't invite people to your own after party, then Tony would be the one to fight you.

As more familiar faces approached to reconnect, you soon found yourself in a bubble of love. The smile on your face never dissipated and laughter began to slip out as if you had nothing to be worried about in the first place.

The room continued to fill and more people began to take their seats in time for the ceremony to start. The Avengers were expected on the stage the whole time to take pictures and congratulate those who received their medals, so before they started their work, she wanted to loosen up a bit and start the night off right.

Steve was having a conversation with a group of people you didn't recognize, so you made a brave choice. When the moment was right as to not interrupt anyone, you let go of his hand and placed it on his upper arm to grab his attention. He leaned over a bit to hear you more clearly in the crowded room. "I'm going to grab a drink really quick, I'll meet you on the stage okay?"

His eyes became concerned and he continued leaning down to speak quietly in your ear. "You want me to come with you?"

"It's okay, Honey, it'll be fast." You reassured him. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'll have what you're having" he grinned and sent you off with a quick kiss to the crown of your head.

"Okay, I'll see you up there" His actions brought a smile to your face as you walked up to the bartender.

You waited in line before placing an order for two drinks, and as you waited for them, a hand landed on the curve of your waist.

"I made a promise to stay with you all night, I can't break it." Steve reminded you.

"Well I'm feeling better than I thought I would so it's perfectly okay if you do." You let him pull you close into his side, his big hand was keeping you warm.

"Is she here yet?" He questioned.

"Haven't seen her" You shook your head.

"Right now I think I might be more nervous than you are, I keep looking for features of your face in every person I talk to wondering if it might be her."

"Well, I've always been told I look more like my dad anyways." The bartender handed her the two drinks, she grabbed them both with a polite thank you and handed one to Steve. "these should help."

"Do you think she knows we're together?" He asked, trying to further understand the situation at hand like he was plotting the best way to fight a battle.

"Look at us" You giggled with a slight snort between your first and second sip. "Matching bracelets, matching outfits, I think the whole world knows we're together."

"...and that article was published in tmz last week" he thought out loud. "I'm just trying to figure out if she would approach me."

"Maybe." You shrugged. "But her opinion of you means shit to me."

Steve took a long sip of his drink, silently praying he would experience a miracle and maybe feel even a slight buzz from the alcohol. "I've never met any of your family before, even if you don't care I still feel like I care."

"Steve" Your hand found its way to his chest. "Everyone you've met tonight, the team, literally the people we both live with and see every single day are more like my family than my mother is. You have met my family, and news flash, they all love you. Everyone loves you. I love you."

"So if she hates me?" He asked.

"You get to join the club! She hates me too" You smiled, Steve bit the inside of his cheeks to try and hold back a laugh at your statement before shaking his head. "You're so handsome."

"You're deflecting" he raised an eyebrow.

"No I'm not" you denied. "I'm simply distracted by your beauty."

"You know, I've been thinking about what you said earlier." Steve let you know.

"Oh no, I say a lot of things all day long."

"I think Cap is okay with trying a beard"

"But you just shaved like an hour ago" You pouted.

"Steve shaved what an hour ago?!" Natasha's voice rang from behind the two of you.

Steve scoffed like a disappointed dad at her innuendo. "My face."

"I'm trying to get him to grown a beard."

"You missed a spot" She reached up and poked his chin, naturally he looked down at where her finger was pointing and she took the chance to drag it up his face to annoy him like two children in the elementary school playground. "Ha-ha made you look" she taunted.

You let out another adorable half snort as you laughed at the banter.

"You're so lucky we're in a room full of people right now or I'd be chasing you around the compound." Steve stated.

"So scary" you lied and over exaggerated your words, throwing your hands up in defense to hype up Steve's words. "Natasha, I'd be scared if I were you."

"Yup. I'm terrified." She said flatly. "Anyways, I was told you needed to get your freshly shaved face up on that stage. You too, teal dress."

"Sure thing" Steve nodded, and offered you his arm to walk over together.

The two of you followed Natasha since the three of you needed to get to the same place anyways.

You took your spot between Steve and Sam, anxiously playing with the straw in your cocktail as you felt eyes on you from all over the room. Once the guest speaker started, you tried your hardest to keep your eyes down on your feet to avoid meeting the gazes. Sam caught on to your nervousness, and in attempts to ease your mind he subtly put his arm around you.

He grabbed Steve's wrist and booted his arm off of you, just to take the formerly occupied spot and pull you into his side. Steve looked over at him and quickly shot a questionable sad puppy dog face, and Sam used his free hand to motion for him to relax.

"See this woman in the front? Blonde hair black dress. I saw her trip over her own heel in the parking lot earlier." Sam whispered in your ear. "And the guy next to her, blue suit, tried to catch her but ended up falling on his butt."

You tried to contain the laughter as to not draw attention to yourselves, trying your hardest to uphold the Avengers respectful and professional reputation. To get him back, you gently nudged him with your elbow and stepped away from his hold.

Focusing on the speaker made time fly so fast, before you knew it they were presenting you with your medal. Since you weren't technically in the military anymore, and the avengers held a special place in the hearts of the nation, an exception was made and rules were changed so that the team were the ones to present the medal to you at this ceremony completely separate from the rest.

Tony was able to say some remarkably kind words about you before placing it around your neck, surrounded by the very team who you thought all deserved it more than you did. They were the ones who assisted you in that very moment, the only difference between them and you was being in the right place at the right time.

As it was placed around your neck, you had no choice but to look straight into the crowd of people who were clapping for you. Unexpectedly, someone stood from their seat.

It caused a ripple of everyone else following the lead, and before you knew it everyone was standing. You wish you could tell them to stay seated, you wish you could hand the medal right back to where it came from, but you were stuck.

Your eyes were now glued on the woman who stood first for you. Your own flesh and blood, aged a couple years, grey streaks littering the hair color you once knew, standing and clapping for you with a smile full of pride smeared across her face.

Maybe she did change, but your teenage defenses came flooding in and your felt yourself become small. You shrunk inwards, prepared to tiptoe quietly as to not mess up the smile on her face that was always so fast to disappear at the smallest of accidental disappointments. The chances of her getting better were slim, but the chances that she was smiling and clapping for you, her precious daughter, was all a show for her own peers in the section around her was larger than your life itself.

Steve sensed your drop in confidence the very moment it happened, and followed your gaze. When he saw her he didn't even need to ask for confirmation, because although you denied your similarities, he found a woman who shared your smile and nose.

Unsuspectingly, you started receiving hugs and congratulations from each avenger. When Steve left a quick kiss on your cheek and pulled you in for his turn, you took the chance while you had it.

"She's here." You told him quietly, pretending as though he was congratulating you again for the millionth time that day alone.

"I know, I see her." Steve let you know. "Are you okay?"

"Yep" you had to keep it short and sweet to stay inconspicuous.

You managed to hold it together regardless of your personal feelings. Steve was right, there was so much love and happiness to be spread around tonight surrounded by your colleagues that you managed to bite your tongue and swallow away the bitter taste her presence left in your mouth.

When it was her turn to shake hands and take pictures with the team, they all did you a solid by taking up all the available space surrounding her. You managed to get away with a disingenuous smile at the very end corner of the group photo you knew she was probably dying to post on social media to show off your success.

The same success she had no part in nurturing, no reason to be proud of.

Years of your professional life was spent perfecting a handshake that was firm enough to show confidence, and soft enough to come across as friendly. She got your absolute worst, a single shake with a flimsy grip.

Petty? Maybe. Immature? Possibly. But you made it through a night you were dreading for months, so you were just proud of yourself for getting through it.

The moment the event was over and your professional engagement was no longer required, all of the Avengers were ushered off the stage and into the back halls to go straight to the private after party.

As insisted, you were going to have a fun time and nobody was going to take any excuse as a valid reason to not let loose. The moment you made it into the room where the party was, Tony placed a shot in your hand, and you immediately took it.

The vodka shooting down your throat pulled your mind away from the icky feeling that lingered in your soul. Your medal was taken off your neck by staff you'd trust with your life and was placed in a safe locked box in your room.

Music started, heels came off, and more people arrived to fill all the empty and quiet places with nothing but love.

Bucky and Sam grabbed you mid conversation with your old commanding officer and you were flung over Sam's shoulder. More shots, so much dancing with whoever could get their hands on you.

Every once in a while you'd look around to find Steve, and he was always somewhere around the room being pulled in a million directions talking to someone new with a big smile on his face. He seemed to be having just as good of a time as you were.

A few hours and a few shots went by before you needed a break from the high energy on the dance floor, so you grabbed a water and sat at the bar next to a friend you were happy to catch up with.

You swore you chatted her up without a care in the world, fifteen minutes felt like three hours. She got up to go to the bathroom and you chugged down the rest of your water before another person approached you.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing at a place like this all by herself?" Steve spoke smoothly like he was in an old time movie.

"Well you see, I'm not one to frequent a place like this, but it was dark and stormy out. I needed a warm place to go." You went along with the joke, your eyes did glance out the window to make sure it was, in fact, dark and stormy out. It was probably getting late but you had no concept of the time at the moment.

"Well, did you find it?" He questioned.

"Find what?"

"A warm place to hideaway from the storm?"

"Well, I certainly found a handsome fella to occupy my time while I wait for it to pass. With a face like that I outta' come around here more often." You shamelessly flirted with your own boyfriend.

"You found just the right man, Miss. You know, a beautiful dame in a dress like that in this part of town is quite dangerous. I'm going to have to beat everyone away with a stick." He smirked.

"Yeah? What would I have done without you?" You bat your eyelashes.

"Who knows." He shrugged.

"And what would those people have done to me?"

"They wouldn't appreciate you the same way I do." He shook his head.

You stepped closer to him and he took the chance to put his hand on the small of your back to keep you close. Feeling quite possessive of your sweet soldier, you claimed him too with a hand on his chest as you leaned in to make it a little more provocative.

"So, what would you like to do to me?" You blinked slowly.

His mouth dropped and cheeks flushed as you started pushing his buttons in a room full of people closest to you.

"Seems like you're not such a nice girl after all." He shook his head, eyebrows still raised and cheeks stippled with shades of pink.

He looked so cute like that.

"Never said I was, Captain." You instigated once more, definitely a little too drunk for your own good.

"Okay that's it" Steve laughed. "You're in for it now."

"No I'm not." You denied in a fit of giggles as you started taking big backwards steps towards the exit.

"Where are you going?" He questioned, taking large playful steps towards you. "You can talk the talk but can't walk the walk?"

"Oh you wanna walk the walk right now? In front of all of these people?" You questioned, getting ready to run. "Never knew you were such a... voyeur."

"Baby, you're bad." Steve laughed as you turned around to face forward and squeaked out a drunken giggle, running barefoot through people trying to lose him.

He followed as fast as he could to the best of his abilities until he saw you run right out of the party ballroom into the more calm and quiet compound hallway.

With no people in his way now, he was able to pick up his speed and catch you from behind the second you let your guard down. His arms around your torso allowed him to pick you up and twirl you around causing another eruption of laughter.

He couldn't help but to laugh at your chaos and take on your contagious smile when he spun you around once more to face him.

"If I'm so bad then why'd you run after me?" You laughed, very gently play punching him.

He did a very good job at blocking your punches just as gently as you threw them at him.

"You're so bad" he repeated, shaking his head once again. "And when you walk around looking like this?! Truly a danger to my health and well-being"

"I feel like you brought this upon yourself." You threw the tiniest of punches to his shoulder, but his hand caught your wrist. "Who let you think that Captain America in a three piece suit was legal? Hmm? You're killing people, Stevie."

"You're so drunk" Steve laugh rang out.

"You're not drunk enough" You bantered.

"I tried to match you, but it's not working."

"Well obviously you're not trying hard enough!"

"Have you eaten anything in the past few hours?" He asked, poking your sides to instigate your childish laughter.

"You're so pretty, I'm going to eat you" You caught his arm the same way he caught yours a few seconds ago, and took a big ol' pretend bite right out of his bicep.

"Maybe you need more water" He rubbed the part of his covered arm that you pretended to bite, unable to wipe the stupid smile off his face.

"Bucky!" You exclaimed as Bucky walked out into the hall.

"Are you trying to eat him?" Bucky asked. "I came to rescue Steve from the cannibal in the hallway."

"You can't blame me, he looks and smells so yummy." You defended yourself, lifting Steves arm up to Bucky. "You want a taste?"

"I'm good." Bucky laughed, grabbing Steve's arm and placing it back down to his side.

"More for me" you shrugged.

"Sam and Nat wanted to know if you would take another shot with them?" Bucky asked what he actually intended to come all that way for.

"I don't know if that's such a great idea, big guy over here thinks I should be eating more food and drinking more water." You shook your head with a smile.

Bucky gasped and wrapped his arms around you from the side, cradling your head in his metal hand. "Steven! You're trying to sober her up? On her big night? You monster!"

"She tried to eat me!" He defended himself, hands up in defense, cheeks starting to feel sore.

"He sucks" Bucky rocked you back and forth. "Another shot?" He asked again.

"Will you hold my hair back while I puke?" You questioned right back.

Bucky released you and stepped away. "Sorry, not my job. Steve can help you out with that"

"I'm trying to prevent that" Steve defended the situation.

"I don't know who I'm supposed to trust anymore!" You said dramatically. "You both wouldn't hold my hair back for me, that's so mean"

"I didn't say that" Steve denied.

"Bucky, I don't think Steve would love me if I was a worm" You told the other soldier.

"I'm sorry, Doll. I would love you if you were a worm even if he didn't." Bucky played along.

"If you were a what?" Steve questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"A worm, Steven." Bucky scoffed. "If she turned into a worm, would you still love her? Really, it's a simple question."

"Baby, if you turned into a worm I'd make you the worm house of your dreams and take care of you." Steve claimed your statement to be false.

"Ha! ...and Bucky wouldn't even hold my hair back."

"Which is exactly why you're my girl and not his." Steve proudly claimed you, following Bucky's actions and claiming you in his own arms after seeing you wrapped up with his best friend.

"Hey, give her back!" Bucky pouted.

"Nope, all mine" Steve denied as you laughed in his hold.

"I guess I should tell Sam and Nat no more sho-" Bucky started, but was cut off.

"Chameleon?" A fourth voice made you freeze in place, and the nickname you haven't been called since childhood made your once happy heart sink to the pit of your stomach.

You didn't want to look, you didn't want Steve to let you go, and you hoped that it was an odd coincidence from a stranger trying to pass through the halls.

Unfortunately, life doesn't always work that way. Steve slowly let you out of his arms, immediately fixing his tie and pressing down his suit jacket while standing tall.

Bucky cleared his throat, "Yeah, uh, I'm going to go find Sam and Natasha." He turned on his heels and walked right back into the event.

Steve didn't really know what to do in that moment, but you knew that you felt stone cold sober now and you wished you could go back to three minutes ago when you were having a blast annoying the soldiers.

"Captain Rogers, honor to meet you." Your mom appeared in front of you, reaching her hand out to shake his for a second time tonight.

For the first time ever, you saw Steve in a moment of being rendered speechless. He didn't know how to respond, if it was appropriate to congratulate her on success in the military, or if he should be yelling at her for being unauthorized in a high security building approaching a private event with no invitation.

He shook it, and opened his mouth hoping that something, literally anything would come out. Instead, she spoke once again.

"You two seem to be comfortable with each other!" She enthused. You knew where this was headed, and you immediately wanted to cry. "And my gosh, my little chameleon, you've become not so little anymore. I hardly recognized you, you've grown into yourself so well... an avenger? Wow."

"Is that so hard to believe?" You questioned, speaking your first words to her since 18 years old.

"Do you remember that photo of you that your dad took when you were 8 years old? The one where you were running around the back yard with a plastic Captain America shield?"

"Mom" You warned, already feeling embarrassed enough to want to fall through the floor.

"I still hear that tiny voice screaming loud enough for all the neighbors to hear that you were going to save the day. And here you are." She looked from you, to Steve, then back at you with judgmental eyes. "Yeah. It's a little hard to believe."

There was no super hero in the grand scheme of the entire multiverse that could come and save you from being belittled in front of Steve. You knew he couldn't cut in unless she was being downright disruptive, and he couldn't leave and live with himself for breaking a promise to you.

"And why is that?" You shrunk into yourself and glued your eyes to the floor, suddenly remembering your bare feet.

You were no longer glowing or radiant, you didn't feel quite as big as you did all those years away from her. You knew now what she saw, a drunken disappointment in the hallway, an imposter, a mess with no shoes taking advantage the only man who could fill the broken void of your childhood.

But you never thought of Steve that way, and certainly that's not why you fell in love with him. Standing in front of her and next to him, you had never felt so insecure.

Did you subconsciously fall into the lap of this relationship to heal parts of yourself that therapy couldn't? Was it weird or morally wrong to be romantically involved with Steve? Did you trap him with a sob story and make him feel too bad to leave?

Holy shit. Did you have do defend this behavior and your relationship in front of your mother?

Maybe it was time to retire this career and start a new one somewhere else. Something small and simple, maybe a barista in an independently owned coffee shop, or a florist spending your day with your nose deep in the flowers.

"I guess when you were a kid you were just so focused on yourself and so... heartless... it's hard to imagine you living a life revolved around selflessness and empathy." She spoke so casually you almost accepted those words as true.

You could hear Steve take in a big breath, he squirmed in place, visibly uncomfortable with the situation and upset by her words.

"Heartless" you repeated quietly. The room spun around you but you weren't sure if that was the anxiety or the alcohol. "Selfish. How? How are those the only two words you could think of to describe me when all I did with my life before adulthood was take care of you?"

"Take care of me?" She scoffed. "You know how hard I had to work every day to keep food in your mouth and a roof over your head?"

"That's the bare minimum you sign up to do when having a kid." You mumbled.

"After all these years I thought that maybe you would've changed your mind about me being some sort of villain."

"You've done nothing to change my mind. No apologies, no effort to mend our relationship..."

"Maybe it'll take you having your own kids to understand how hard it is to be a mother." She cut you off. "But seeing as you can't treat your own flesh and blood with respect, you aren't fit to be one yet."

"I think you've mistaken this event as an open house, and I think you're here way past your allotted time." You finally spoke up.

"And this continuing to be your behavior even under today's circumstances and in front of one of the most respected men in the world is disappointing." Her voice got louder to undermine the fact that yours did too. "Imagine explaining this to your 8 year old self. What would she think? I know your father would be disappointed at best."

"What exactly are you here for, ma'am?" Steve instantly snapped when she tried to weaponize his very existence using her dead father.

Your vocal cords were tied tightly into a knot, nothing could come out, you could barely breathe, and a single tear fell down your cheek. In attempts to not let her win, you wiped it away as quickly as you could.

"I wanted a chance to congratulate my daughter, but I'm not so sure she deserves that anymore." She spat venom at you. "You know, a flashy title and a medal around your neck means nothing without a family to love you."

"She does have a family that loves her, they're all in that room right now." Steve proudly wrapped his arm around you and pointed to the party. "There's a reason why you aren't allowed in there, so I suggest you leave. Especially because I'm sure your commanding officer would be disappointed to hear that you're continuing this dishonorable behavior in front of one of the most respected and remarkable women in the world."

You couldn't even help the sob that escaped the back of your throat before covering your mouth with your hand and hiding your face into his side. He could've used his own title and authority to scare her off, but instead he picked you up off the floor she held you down on and placed you on a pedestal above her head.

She tried to make you feel small, perhaps that's how she always saw you, but Steve always thought you were larger than life. His actions and words continued to prove that in every difficult situation.

He was always so soft and kind around you that you forgot that he even had such a stern and commanding bone in his body.

"She is my daughter." You mother stood her ground.

"You do not own her. Leave." Steve practically growled.

The silence was loud as she scoffed and walked off with a stomp in her feet, hands balled into fists.

Steve left you for a moment to tell the nearest security to escort her out and make sure she actually exited the premises this time, and by the time he got back and placed his hands on your shoulders to console you, he was nothing but soft again.

Your hands hid your face, too embarrassed to even speak to him at the moment. Overwhelmed, ashamed, consumed by anxiety on the brink of a panic attack, you couldn't step foot in that room again.

Not with tears streaking your mascara and the hem of your dress bunching against the floor due to your lack of heels.

Steve felt his heart squeezing in his chest when you couldn't even open your eyes to look at his face, he could only imagine you were feeling belittled and embarrassed. He would do anything to take that weight off your shoulders, make sure you knew that you had nothing to be ashamed of, but no words would break through the barrier you had to build in order to protect yourself.

You needed your own time and space to break that down, and you would. You were brave enough to do so. Just not right now, not when you desperately needed a bulletproof casing to keep all of the harsh words and criticism out of your mind.

"Baby" Steve's hands traveled from your shoulders up your neck and onto your own hands that hid your face. "You're okay, I love you. It's okay"

"I have to go" Your voice shook.

"That's okay" His thumbs ran along the backside of your hands. "I know you need some alone time, but would you like me to walk you home or are you going to be okay getting back on your own?"

"I'm fine." You inhaled deeply and rubbed your face once more before dropping your hands and crossing your arms over your chest tightly. "I'll be fine."

"Alright" Steve kissed the top of you head. "I'll come check on you in a bit."

It was hard for him to let you walk away by yourself when all he wanted to do was make sure you got home okay and tuck you in tightly under your blankets, but letting you go alone was what you needed in that moment so he forced himself to take that step back.

He walked back in that room and explained the situation to Tony and Bucky, and stayed a little while longer acquainting himself to all the important people in your life who loved you so deeply.

About an hour and a half later, it was well into the middle of the night and guests started leaving so he took the opportunity to sneak out and contemplate his next move on the walk back.

He didn't want to bother you or make you feel pressured into being around him if you still felt defensive, but the thought of you sleeping in a cold bed alone all night when you were already so sad made him want to cry a little bit.

He decided that the best thing to do was to change out of his formal wear and into some sweats before going into your room to check on you. Maybe some extra comfort would be beneficial to the both of you.

Unlocking his bedroom door and stepping through, he kicked off his shoes and ran a hand through his styled hair before noticing the lump under the covers of his bed. It made his heart beat a little faster before it melted into a puddle.

He changed into sweatpants and a hoodie as quickly as he could, as he brushed his teeth he took note of how you turned off the soundproofing to hear the rain putter against the roof and floor to ceiling windows.

Once he was ready to submit to the night, he walked over to the side of his bed you were sleeping on. Normally it was his side, but he could tell you planted yourself there for a reason, and who was he to disturb that?

He kneeled next to the bed, and only when he tucked your hair behind your ear did he notice that you were sound asleep.

All the makeup you worked so hard on was gone without a trace, your eyes were swollen and your nose was stained pink. Although you were sad, he couldn't help but to smile. He thought you looked just as beautiful this way.

Realizing he didn't want to wake you, he planted a feather light kiss to your head before walking back to the other side to slide in next to you.

Though he tried his hardest, you woke up to slowly being engulfed by your favorite strong arms, and pulled against your favorite warm body. You shuffled backwards a bit to meet the front of his body with the back of yours, one of your hands intertwined with one of his while the other held onto his forearm that was keeping you safe and secure. You brought the back of his hand to your mouth before kissing it and tucking it into your chest close to your heart.

"I'm sorry" you sleepily mumbled, feeling a pang of physical pain as he held you so tenderly.

"I'm not allowing you to apologize for something that's not your fault." Steve denied. "None of that has ever been your fault."

"You shouldn't have had to hear that, or see me like that. So, I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be." Steve settled, his chin nuzzling into the top of your head. "I'm sorry you've been treated like that for so much of your life. You deserved so much better."

"I'm not allowing you to apologize for something that's not your fault" You repeated his words. "Thank you for sticking up for me, that's the first time anyone has ever spoken up to her."

"Anytime, Princess." He squeezed your hand. "I hope you know that you aren't the one your father would be disappointed in."

You nodded, feeling the tears rush back to your eyes. If you speak another word they would flood the gates and flow until you got yourself to sleep again.

"He would be proud, so so proud of you. I'm proud of you. Everyone in their right minds is proud of you, and the world owes you an un-payable debt."

"I didn't even do anything that special" Your voice accidentally jumped an octave higher in your losing battle against your tears.

"Yes you did, and I'll shout it from the rooftops until you understand." He squeezed you a little tighter. "I think the whole world of you. No matter what your role, daughter, avenger, friend, girlfriend, maybe even mom one day if you want to be, you hit the ball out of the park. You exceed all expectations, and if someone can't see that, that's on them. That's not on you. I'm the luckiest man in the universe to have the privilege of loving you."

"I love you so much" You told him, squeezing your eyes shut to try and stop the tears.

"I love you too." He calmly exhaled. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need a snack or some water?"

"I'm okay, I think I just need to sleep." You slowly flipped onto your other side to face him.

"Okay." He let you dig your face into his chest as he held you tightly in his arms to hide you away from the world that had hurt you tonight. "Wake me up if you need me, alright? Sweet dreams, sweet girl.

"Sleep tight." You mumbled into his chest.

He woke up pretty late the next morning given that everyone had been awake until 2am the previous night. The sun was shining aggressively bright through the large windows and hitting his eyes, he could hear birds chirping and the hustle and bustle of whatever was going on outside. You weren't with him in bed, but he could hear the sounds of cookware in the kitchen, the unusual whirl of the mixer being used.

He got up and stretched, not even bothered to fix his hair before dragging his feet all the way to the common area that was oddly empty except for you.

You could hear him coming, the shuffling socks on the hardwood was a dead giveaway. He stopped and looked around before blinking slowly at you in confusion.

"Where is everyone?" He questioned sleepily, sitting down on a stool at the island and letting his head and back slump forward onto his elbows.

"Deployed." You answered, measuring out powdered sugar to add to the butter and vanilla in the mixer.

"Really?"

"Yep" you popped the P dramatically. "Literally everyone but us two got put on emergency last night around 4. They must've heard what happened and decided to cut us some slack, we have the whole place to ourselves." You grinned with amusement.

Your dimpled cheeks were so refreshing to his worried and busy mind.

"Hmmm" he hummed, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander for a while.

After a few minutes, you placed a cup of coffee in front of him just how he liked it before rubbing his back and kissing the adorable blonde mess on top of his head. "Still sleepy?"

"I'm getting old, baby. I stay up late for one night and I feel like I have to sleep for two days to recover." He complained, perking up at the smell of coffee.

"Well, you can sleep all day if you want and nobody is here to make fun of you for it." You noted, stopping the mixer once your frosting was nice and smooth.

"Sounds so nice" Steve yawned after taking down some coffee and letting his head fall again.

As you put the frosting into a piping bag with a metal tip on it, you mind couldn't escape last night. You were trying your very hardest to disregard all the weird thoughts your mom planted into your head, especially the ones about your relationship with Steve.

You never questioned the dynamic before, no one has ever brought it up, but now you were clouded and fogged by worry.

A morning alone with him should feel domestic and happy, a small glimpse into what the future could hold if you chose that for yourselves.

Rain falling outside, both of you bundled up in your coziest clothes, your extra lazy boyfriend falling asleep slumped over the island with a hot cup of coffee, homemade cupcakes that were begging for some frosting.

People would kill for moments like these, and you couldn't even enjoy it through your racing heart and even faster mind. Your mom made you question your intentions with your sweet boy with one single glance, and now you couldn't help but to feel like he deserved better all over again.

You should've been brave and stood up for yourself. You should've told her how you really felt, aired out all your dirty laundry, screamed it from the top of your lungs, but instead you mumbled and muttered and cried.

Brave, mighty, strong, none of those words seemed to suit you. Maybe this really wasn't the job for you, and that feeling of uncertainty you had the first few weeks here was more of a gut feeling you weren't cut out for this.

You mindlessly piped frosting onto the cupcakes and got halfway through the dozen before Steve's head popped up in realization and pouted.

"You're baking?" He asked.

"Mhm" you nodded quietly, eyes fixed on the cupcake you were working on.

"Not feeling very talkative?"

"Just a little tired, that's all." You tried to convince him you were okay as to not inconvenience him any more than you already have.

He didn't do much in response to that, and it made your heart sink. You fully convinced yourself that he had given up on you.

You officially annoyed him and pushed jokes too far while you were drunk last night, you shouldn't have let Bucky hug you the way he did, maybe you should've found a different color dress that matched your complexion a little better.

"Oh my god!" You squeaked in surprise when you were lifted up and placed sat on the counter. "What the heck, man?!"

Piping bag still in hand, cupcakes pushed out of the way, Steve stood between your legs. You didn't even notice him get up or hear him coming.

"I love you, do you not understand that?" Steve questioned with all the seriousness in the world dropping from his tone.

"I'm confused" You cocked your head to the side.

He took the bag of frosting out of your hand and placed it on the counter. "You only bake when you're sad. I can tell your mind is running away from you, and you're shutting me out."

"I didn't mean to shut you out" you admitted sadly, your gut already telling you what's coming.

"You don't have to lie to me and say that you're tired instead of saying what's actually wrong. You know I can tell the difference."

"I'm sorry, I- it's just tha-" you scrambled to try and explain what what going on in your head. "I'm trying to process. That's all."

"You still won't even look at me." Steve told you, coming your hair through his fingers. "Why?"

You made it a point to look at his face, and all you saw was golden honey, the sweet angel who you've grown to love with all your heart.

You sighed and slumped.

"You can tell me the truth" he reminded you sweetly.

"My mom takes my self esteem and crushes it into tiny little pieces" You let the words leave your mouth. "Right now, I'm trying to convince myself that everything my brain is telling me is a lie and that I deserve to be here with you."

"Look at me" He grabbed hold of your chin between his thumb and pointer finger to direct your head back up. When you looked him in the eyes, he continued speaking. "I love you. All of you. Everything about you. If you need me to say that a billion times to believe it, I'll do it."

"Do you want a cupcake?" You offered, picking up a frosted one off the counter.

"I love you"

"There's no sprinkles yet but I can put some one really quick"

"I love you"

"It's vanilla cake with american buttercream" you started unwrapping it.

"I love you"

"I know you like cream cheese frosting but we were out of cream cheese so this was the best I could do."

"I love you"

"Steve" You complained.

"Hmm?" His hand rubbed your thigh while the other remained on your back.

"Will you please eat this cupcake before I lose my mind?" You pleated.

He took it from your hands and put it to your mouth prompting to take a bite first, and once you did he took one too.

"Oh my god" he thew his head back. "So fucking good. Another reason why I love you so much."

"Steve"

"What?"

"I love you" You told him.

"I know you do" He set the other half of the cupcake down, taking note that he would definitely finish it later. "Quite honestly, I'm a little offended that you don't know that I love you. Means I'm not doing my job right."

"I know you do, you're doing your job very well." You told him, he pulled you forward so he could touch just a little more of you.

"But?" He raised an eyebrow.

"But... how I'm feeling right now is not your fault. You shouldn't feel a responsibility to fix it. I'll be okay, I just need some time."

"Can I have more frosting please?" Steve asked politely.

Too wrapped up in your own mind to verbally respond, you grabbed the piping bag next to you, and squeezed some onto his finger that he had held out and waiting.

He quickly smeared the frosting onto the tip of your nose before his cheeks turned pink and a laugh escaped.

"Oh you suck" You but the inside of your cheek to try and contain the smile you didn't want him to know you had. "Jokes on you, you didn't even get to eat anymore frosting. Let me help you out with that"

You squeezed the bag as hard as you could over his lips, he turned his head to try and get away but it ended up smearing all the way up the left side of his cheek.

His mouth hung open for a moment in surprise before swiping it off his face and into his mouth.

"Just as delicious when I eat it off my face" He stated, then boldly licked it off the tip of your nose. "And yours"

"You're crazy" You said while wiping your nose with the back of your hand with joy that seemed to be breaking through the thick barrier of sadness. "And still so handsome, even with frosting face"

"Yeah?" A lopsided smile poked through.

"Yeah"

Steve grabbed the sides of your face before going in for a steady kiss, lengthy and impassioned. Just his lips alone were telling you everything you needed to know, like he was speaking to you through through physical touch. Just when you started to feel like you needed to catch your breath, he pulled away and let his forehead settle on yours.

"However you feel, however she makes you feel is not your fault." He whispered against your lips. "But what I'm never going to let her do is dictate the way you feel about yourself, and let her get into your head about the way I feel about you."

In a moment of lust and desperation to not have to process the hard emotions that came with the words he was speaking to you, you initiated another buttercream flavored kiss. Vanilla and sugar tasted oh so sweet on his tongue as his hands traveled down to your hips. Once again, the unfortunate human need to breath to survive got in the way of your plans to shut him up.

"I've never doubted your ability to keep up. You are your own toughest critic. I've never met anyone more capable of being here and being mine." He continued, planting a few quick pecks to your silky smooth lips. "I thank the universe for you every day, and I love you."

"Damn it, Steve." You dramatically flailed your arms before running your hands up his back. "How do you always know what to say and do to make any situation better? How are you this perfect?"

It started becoming a little hard to speak between kisses, and even though you were now glued to his front and latched onto him like a koala, you still couldn't seem to get close enough.

"I just thi-"

"Will you stop for a second and just keep kissing me?" You spoke against his lips. "I can't get enough of you."

"Yes ma'am" He nodded with shades of pink quickly stippling across his cheeks before following strict orders.

Passing time was a concept that completely dissipated as the two of you entangled yourself. Seconds, minutes, hours, none of it mattered. Not when your mouths tasted like cupcakes and your bodies were so warm to contrast the winter rain hitting the windows.

Your hands were never shy to roam and dance around his incredible body, you loved gliding your hands over all the smooth bumps and ridges of muscle. As you snuck your hands up the back of his hoodie, they found their rightful place on his shoulder blades. He physically shivered and you could feel goosebumps raise on his skin causing both of you to giggle into each others kiss.

"You know the good part of the whole team being gone is that we get to eat all the cupcakes by ourselves" Steve spoke again now that he found a natural break in the heat of the moment.

"I'm sure you'll have no issue accomplishing that" You agreed with him.

"And you know the other good part of the whole team being gone?"

"Hmm?" You questioned.

"I get to take my time with you." He kissed the very corner of you jaw right under your ear. "Savor every square inch of you" working his way down your neck, he made it to your collar bones. "You get to be as loud as you need, and I get to take you right here, right now."

His words got you worked up embarrassingly fast. The crimson headache flooded all of your logical reasoning, and every single part of your body was aching to get him closer, take him deeper, crawl into him. It was intoxicating.

"People eat on this counter, baby" You tried reasoning with him, though you were a little more than excited for what was about to come.

"I'll clean it" He pulled your sweater over your head just to be visibly annoyed by your tank top underneath. Attaching your mouths in a steamy kiss dialed up a thousand degrees, more worry filled your head.

"The cameras" You wined feeling like there were too many obstacles in the way. "What if someone hears us?"

He had never been this risky or adventurous before, it had your head spinning and your center throbbing with need. "Friday" Steve called out to the artificial intelligence controlling the building while working off his own sweatshirt.

"How may I assist you, Captain?" She responded just as he got it over his head and tossed it on the floor.

"Turn on private sector soundproofing, and turn off visual and audio recording" He had to practically pry you off of him as you started making advances on him, your hands wandered down the front of his stomach while you kissed his shoulders in attempts to get his pants off.

He caught your wrists in his hands and shook his head before attaching your lips together hungrily as Friday assisted in the necessary steps before the two of you could shed more layers.

"Request complete."

"This isn't about me, so don't even try it." He informed you, voice husky with arousal. "I want you to feel how loved you are, so all I want you to do is relax, feel good, and take it. Okay?"

"That seems a little unfa-" He cut you off by attaching your lips and grabbing the bottom of you tank top to pull over your head.

"Okay?" He asked again once you were in sweatpants and a bra. It was less of a question and more of a demand.

"Okay" You released a shaky breath and a semi-nervous nod.

No matter how many times you found yourself in this position with him, you never found yourself to be less nervous about it. He always made you feel comfortable, cared for and so so good, but he was just so incredibly beautiful and commanding.

It was like ravenous butterflies exploding out of your stomach, and flooding upwards into your racing heart, tingly lips, swarming in your brain. Just looking at his blown out pupils and fast breathing made you feel needy and restless until you got exactly what your body needed.

He pulled your body closer once more, kissing you as one hand unhooked the back of your bra and the other held the back of you head steady. You shrugged it off and he tossed it onto the floor.

Steve couldn't help the satisfaction as you began to take off your own pants for him, so quick to trust him and allow him to make you feel good that you did the work to get him exactly where you needed him as fast as you could. All while his hands massaged your boobs, nipples between his thumb and forefingers, and his lips sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin on your neck that always left you whimpering.

"You looked so beautiful last night" he stated as his hands made their way to your hips, they squeezed gently before they removed the last remaining piece of fabric from your body leaving you completely bare for him. "I thought, wow how could anything be more beautiful than my girl right now? Then I woke up and saw you, and somehow I'm having those same thoughts all over again."

He kissed slowly down your body while pulling you forward to the very edge of the counter, and just as his lips made it to your lower belly, he stood back up and kissed your lips. He used his own body to encourage you to lay back onto your elbows as his hands massaged you thighs, they squeezed and moved in appreciation, celebrating how strong and soft they were. A risky movement occasionally sent a finger too close to where you needed him, and when his mouth attached to you right nipple, you almost saw stars.

Steve pulled his favorite sound out of you, tiny whimpers traveled from your throat, into his ears and right to his dick. Pleasuring you was his greatest form of gratification, nothing made him harder more than knowing you felt good.

"Baby" You complained, obvious need dripping from your voice.

"What's wrong, honey?" He pouted at your whine, almost mocking you.

"You're such a tease"

"We've got all day" He devilishly grinned, more fingers grazing your center. "So much time"

You felt so needy, throbbing beyond comprehension you couldn't even help yourself. You needed something, anything. "Please" you begged.

"How would you like me to please you?" He asked, just the idea of getting to choose made you let out a little noise.

Steve knew that you were completely oblivious to the way your hips were subtly rocking back and forth to try any feel anything at all, your thighs squeezed together to try and create friction. He wasn't having that, so he spread your legs apart and stood between them again so you physically couldn't close them.

"Something, anything" Your head spun.

"I just love you so much that I want to kiss every inch of you." He justified his actions. Holding onto your wrist, he kissed all the way down your upper arm to the back of your hand. Grabbing the piping bag once more, he squeezed frosting onto your two dominant fingers before shoving them into his mouth to lick it off and letting them linger while he coated them the best he could. You were speechless and so turned on that you we're convinced the pressure in your pussy would make you explode if you didn’t do anything about it soon.

"I want you to love yourself as much as I love you" He popped your fingers out of his mouth and guided your hand downward, making you touch yourself. "And since you're feeling too desperate to let me warship you the way that I want, you're going to practice some self love."

You couldn't even control yourself as you ran your fingers through your folds before adding pressure and drawing little circles around your overly sensitive clit. Letting out a moan, you couldn't believe how good you felt. All of this behavior was so new to Steve, it was naughtier and dirtier than your very private and vanilla prince ever let on. The whole scenario added to your pleasure as your mind ran laps around how hot it was.

"There you go" he sighed, finally feeling like you could both have exactly what you wanted.

Usually you'd feel a little self conscious under anyone's watchful eye, let-alone someone who looked like Steve, but his eyes were telling you that he wanted to devour you whole.

More moans continued to slip out past your mouth as you pleasured yourself in front of him, and he massaged, nipped and sucked anywhere he could get access to.

"How does that feel, princess?" He questioned, kissing you before you even got the chance to answer. "You making yourself feel good?"

"Mhm" You moaned out something close to a response.

"You look so pretty like this" He spoke into the shell of your ear. "Is this what you do when we're away from each other?"

"Yeah" you squeaked. “Miss you too much when you’re gone”

"When you send me all those naughty pictures when you know damn well there's nothing I can do to help myself?" He teased. "It's even more beautiful in person- watching you get off and I'm not even doing anything to help."

"Steve, please" You moaned, his words carried you a lot further than you'd like to admit.

"Nuhuh. Nope" He denied. "I'm not even going to think about touching your pussy until you give yourself all the love you need. Make yourself cum, then I'll consider."

New mission in mind, you started working towards your goal. Slipping in two fingers, one after the other while continuing to play with your bud made that fire in your belly burn even brighter.

Steve could tell you were getting closer, all he could do was prey that you'd climax soon because he's never wanted to please someone more than in this moment. You just looked so helpless, but that was something you'd have to get through all on your own.

"Besides, I'm enjoying the show a little too much to put an end to it yet." He smiled.

Although he was putting on a front, he wasn't a complete asshole and he still wanted you to feel his love stemming through every moment your bare skin was under his hands, so he continued to play with your nipples to deliver as much gratification as he could without touching you where he vowed not to.

More moans flowed and each one was louder and more worked up than the next, that pressure kept building and that fire kept burning hotter and hotter but it never snapped.

Thoroughly frustrated, you babbled out what you think was along the lines of "ugh,baby, I can't. I can't- please"

"Yes you can" Steve reassured you. "Come on, sweetheart, make yourself cum."

You thrusted your fingers in and out of your hole a little faster, rubbed your clit a little harder, and felt all the more frustrated.

"You make such pretty sounds, my love." He cooed in your ear. "We've got so much time, why do you want to cum so fast? Hmm?"

"I want you to fuck me" You cried out.

"Wow, all this just for me?" He asked. "Can't even imagine how pretty you'll sound when I finally touch you."

The pressure built and built...

"I've never wanted to make love to you more than I do right here, right now. Cum for me, let me make you feel good honey." He whispered.

His lips met yours once more then...

Snap.

You gasped and moaned a little louder than usual, Steve smiled against you.

"There she is!" He exclaimed proudly as you painted and tried to catch your breath. "How was that?"

"So dirty." You finally giggled, feeling a million pounds lighter with release. “I love it when you’re naughty like this.”

“You left me no choice” Steve tucked your hair behind your ear. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Oh, I feel great” You nodded with a tired attempt at a smile.

“Yeah? You wanna keep going?” He questioned searching for a genuine response. “This is all about you, my love.”

His genuine concern for your well-being during sex always made you want him even more.

“Please.” You nodded before reaching your hands around his neck and pulling his bare torso against you and attaching your lips. All you wanted in that moment was to feel his skin on yours.

“Need a break?” He offered.

“Steve”

“I love the way you say my name” He admitted, kissing your nose.

“Will you please just fuck me?”

“I will” He reassured you. “…eventually.”

You closed your eyes and accepted that you would get what you wanted with time.

“But for now, I have other plans.” He stood up to his full height, never allowing his hands to remain still against your skin. “Just relax”

“It’s a little hard to relax with you between my legs” You admitted.

“That sounds like a personal problem” he stated before sinking to his knees, and his hands finally making it to your pussy. His thumb very gently started working your clit again until he felt like you were ready to take his fingers. After sliding one in and curving it slightly upwards, your beautiful sounds came back to warm his soul. “Poor baby, you’re so wet.”

“Wonder how that happened” You sassed, eyes remaining closed to try and allow yourself to actually relax and concentrate on the sensation he was providing to your body.

With no warning, his thumb disappeared and was replaced by his mouth. His tongue explored for a few moments before his lips attached and started sucking and licking your bud.

It pulled a heavenly moan and you rocked your hips before falling back onto your elbows, your fingers lacing in his hair. Steve’s head popped up in a small moment of concern.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked, hands roaming the curves of your hips.

“God no- that felt so good” You shook your head, opening your eyes to look at him. “Keep going.”

“Okay, let me know if something hurts” He said, you knew he was always scared of not knowing his own strength accidentally hurting you. This conversation happened a minimum of once per every sexual interaction you two had.

"Darling... I'm not made of sugar" You reassured, caressing his head in your hands.

"You sure do taste like it" He retorted before attaching his mouth again.

His mouth was so warm creating a lovely contrast between the cold marble counter you laid on and his fingers made good work of that spongy spot inside your hole that he loved to call his best friend.

“Holy shit” You gasped, trying to bring back lost air from your lungs. “Oh fuck, yes, right there, keep going” you exclaimed as his mouth deliciously worked your clit in tandem with his fingers. That fire came back and burned bright with a vengeance.

You tried your hardest to keep your hips still, but the feeling was so overwhelming you couldn’t even control your movements.

Steve loved it when you started riding his face because he knew he was doing his job right. He was rewarded with your fluttering walls gripping onto his fingers, you dripped down his chin and coated his mouth deliciously.

“C-an you even breatmmmmm holy fuck” You cried out.

Quite honestly, he could’ve cum in his pants just from the noises you made alone. If he wasn’t so entranced by the taste of you on his tongue, and focused on making your mind think of nothing but him and his mouth he would’ve told you that he didn’t need to breathe, and that he could always catch his breath after he died of suffocation.

If that’s how he left this world, he would have gone a happy man.

“Right there, right there” You moaned out, completely unsure of how he even knew how to make you feel this good in the first place. “Just like that”

Since he was a smart man, he kept doing exactly what he was doing. His mouth continued licking and sucking as his fingers remained at the same pace.

As you panted and babbled out words and sounds that no longer made sense, he couldn’t help but to focus on the way you tightened around his fingers. You were so warm and wet his cock was twitching desperately in his pants, impatiently waiting for its own turn to please you.

Apparently, his mind ran so far away from him that he didn’t even notice the way you shuttered and bucked your hips right before your second orgasm crashed over you so hard that your legs shook and you couldn’t even squeak out a sound if you tried.

It pulled his mind right back to you, and he continued the motions with his tongue, licking up every last drop until your head lulled to the side and your body went limp.

You managed to produce a few pathetic whimpers as he continued going, it was becoming a little too sensitive to bare so grabbed his face and pulled him up. “Okay, okay, holy shit”

“Wanna taste?” He asked before hungrily attaching your lips.

It was intoxicating what he did to you. Your body felt limp and spent as if you could sleep for two weeks without a single care, yet when he attached his soggy face to yours and the taste of buttercream was replaced with your own essence, you found the energy to sit yourself up and kiss him until you were the one suffocating.

You reached for the band of his sweatpants, and he was two steps ahead of you trying to kick them off without having to remove his grip on your body.

Pulling them down for him, he was able to step out of them while keeping his mind and body focused on making out with you. You did the same with his boxers, and when his dick sprang free all you wanted was to take it into you hands.

It was his turn to gasp as you reached between your bodies to stroke him. He was hard as a rock, already twitching and leaking out in anticipation.

Just looking at it had you gushing all over again, completely unable to grasp how you could possibly be the one making him so pathetically hard without a single touch.

“Do you see what you do to me?” He questioned, taking himself into his own hand and pumping while you spread your legs in anticipation.

You nodded and gulped down a mouthful of drool, just wishing he would let you taste it but you knew that wouldn’t slide in this very moment. “Please, let me feel you.” Your arms found their way around his neck.

“You sure?” He checked in one last time just to make sure.

“Are you going to make me do it myself?” You asked desperately, only moments away from sticking it in for him.

“I’m all yours” He told you before stepping towards you one last time to close any distance, then slowly slid in the tip.

Watching your face warp with pleasure was the most beautiful sight and it gave him the butterflies every single time. As he kept slowly pushing his length into you, it felt better than a physical connection. It was always more than that.

It felt like intertwining your souls, becoming one being together. And when he was fully sheathed, he never failed to be incredibly loved by you. You gave him so much of yourself, so much of your body, so much of your trust that he felt a responsibility to do the only thing he could- make you feel just as loved in return.

No matter how hard he had to fight the urge to move, he always waited until you moved first. His eyes squeezed shut and his mouth parted as you gave him the physical green light to start rocking his hips.

He started slow until he could feel your body relax around him, then he thrusted faster. “There you go, you’re taking me so well Honey”

You felt absolutely ethereal, letting go of every single thought that wasn’t Steve in that very moment.

As he continued to thrust into you, he laid you back util you were fully laying on the counter with your legs crossed around his back. He leaned over you and cradled his hands under your head to hold you close and make sure you were comfortable.

He kissed you passionately, sweeter than sugar as your hand roamed his back and the other squeezed the back of his neck.

You moaned into each other’s mouths as he found that sweet spot inside of you once more, and your mind went completely numb. He detached your lips but kept his face close to maintain eye contact.

“You’re absolutely decadent, my sweet Angel” he panted, and although his thrusts were slower than his normal pace, it felt overwhelmingly good. He was conveying his message perfectly, this was nothing but making love. “Nobody could ever make me feel the way you do, you know that?”

He continued hitting your sweet spot over and over again, making your eyes squeeze shut and your waist curve up off the counter.

“Open your eyes, sweetie, let me see your face”

You listened to his words, and he smiled when he saw your eyes again. His face was full of pleasure, and the thought of him feeling just as good as you were made your walls squeeze tightly around him.

“Holy shit, baby.” His head dropped into the crook of your neck as he savored your warmth, but it quickly popped back up again to look at you. “I love you so fucking much”

“I love you too” You moaned, running your fingers through his messy hair.

His thrusts turned into deep, long strokes that had you seeing stars.

“Oh my god, oh my- jesus” you gasped, fluttering around him.

“You feel so fucking good” he cried out. “Only you. You are the only one who could ever make me feel like this. Do you understand how incredible you are?”

You whimpered some more, holding onto him for dear life, “Steve-“

“I know, baby.” He kissed you, and when he attached his lips to your mouth he felt you fluttering even more.

So, he kept kissing you and trying to hang onto the pressure building in his own stomach as his balls twitched with every thrust.

You two stayed like that for a while, holding each other in your arms, kissing until you couldn’t breath, basking in the pleasure of each others bodies while he tried to fuck the very concept of your own greatness into your hard head.

Nothing but the sounds of moans, breathing, and skin slapping filled the room while you opened your eyes and looked up at him again.

Your heart skipped a beat or two as the realization of what he’s been trying to tell you finally sank in. Tears filled your eyes as you really looked at his sweet face, and his love clouded all of your senses.

You looked deeply into his blue eyes that held nothing but admiration for you, they were turned slightly upwards, desperate to make sure you understood the gravity of his true feelings. He touched your body in all the right places to make you feel all the right things, but at the same time he touched your heart and connected your souls. You could hear verbal affirmation of your effects on him. Heavy breathing, heavenly moans, and constant declarations of love. He genuinely meant and believed in every single one of them. The smell of his fresh cologne and your bodies mingling filled your nose, with the occasional whiff of vanilla cupcakes. But you were okay with that, vanilla always reminded you of him. When you tasted the product of your sacred love on his lips, it all seemed to make sense. You loved him, and he loved you back.

It really was that pure. It really was that simple.

So when there was physical evidence that you finally understood his point, and you made love to him so decadently, the efforts of his love washed over you once again.

A big physical release, along with a big mental release of all the self doubt you had been harboring since the moment you met him in that hallway.

His love spilled into you as the euphoria set in your brain, and you held him as close as you could. Sitting up as his movements became still, your arms locked him in tight, and your face shoved into the crook of his neck.

He left little kisses on your shoulder as he pulled out. He could’ve been speaking words to you, but you didn’t hear them. All you cared about was soaking in this moment.

Especially when he picked you up in his strong arms and you wrapped around him like a koala. He brought you into his room and got the two of you snuggled up in his bed for maximum comfort.

He could always clean the two of you up later, and the clothes on the kitchen floor weren’t going to run away if he didn’t immediately retrieve them, but right now was a moment that needed to be savored.

The two of you caught your breath together amongst the soft blankets against your bare skin.

Your arms squeezed him nice and tight before your body went limp against him. Snuggled up to his side with your head on his shoulder, legs tangled, your hand on his chest and his hand playing with your hair.

You intertwined your free hands, they rested comfortably on his stomach and your eyes focused on the matching friendship bracelets that have seen better days.

With no one around, and nothing but a head massage to occupy your mind, you finally felt like you knew where you belonged.

It was a place where you didn’t have to change yourself as a defense mechanism like a chameleon.

You didn’t have to put yourself under so much pressure that you shifted into something completely different like carbon into a diamond.

You didn’t need to save the world and all the people in it to prove your worth.

You were already worthy.

You belonged with Steve.

“I love you” You told him sleepily and spent.

“I love you too” You mumbled back, kissing the top of your head.

He smiled knowing that this time, you genuinely believed him.

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