dragons-and-yellow-roses · 17 days ago
Text
Just remembered I have a psychiatrist appointment so early tomorrow. And I obviously dyed my hair so recently because there's green staining on my face. I don't think it's going to look great for the bipolar diagnosis, to disclose that I was feeling impulsive and wanted to get control over something, so I dyed my hair at midnight.
#i dont really like this psychiatrist but ive only seen her once so i figured i should give her one more shot#last time i saw her she adked how i liked my anxiety meds#i said i love them. theyre helpful and have no side effects since my body got used to them#and i said i explicitly didnt like ky old ones cuz of how they made me feel#she prescribed the old ones and said i should just tey taking a smaller dose. even though im on meds i like#but the bigger problem is#we went over all my previous medications. ive been on several. a lot of antidepressants especially which is really bad for bipolar#the worst antidepressant cause pericarditis (swelling around my heart) that made me go to the emergency room#we went over that. i told her everything i just told you#my bipolar leans heavily into the depression so she decided to tey another antidepressant along with my mood stabilizer#can you guess which antidepressant she prescribed? can you??#and i didnt realize it at the time because she called it the generic name so i couldnt explain she shiuldnt prescribe me that#and i meant to callher about it but it completely slipped my mind and i thought i had more time#and then suddenly my appointment is tomorrow#or the other thing she recommended was lithium. which feels like wuite an escalation#eapecially since she said it can cause irreversible damage to (maybe remembering this wrong) my kidneys#like i feel like there must be a better option. none of which are anxiety meds i dont like. an antidepressant that sent me to the hospital#or something that could cause irreversible damage. like i feel like theres a better way#i also need to talk to her about setting up an adhd assessment#i had an assessment a few years ago in which i was told im 'too smart to have adhd'#calling adhd people not smart is bullshit. you cant be too smart to have adhd. and i feel like i was just dismissed because im female#he said he wished he could score as hugh as i did on the knowledge tests#man me too. maybe then you wiuldnt be such an idiot. how did you get a license to practice. how did you pass any higher education#are you just a random guy that walked in off the street? i refuse to call him a doctor#i call him a quack or by his full name because i don't think he deserves the respect of that title#what was i talking about. oh yeah trying another assessment with an actual doctor this time#wish me luck with my appointment tomorrow bcuz she might try to kill me again#or dismiss my concerns of adhd like she dismissed my dislike for my old anxiety meds#im in hell. being mentally ill is hell a little bit#actually its not. im fine with my mental illness. im not fine with how doctors treat me because of it
2 notes · View notes
gibbearish · 2 months ago
Text
btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
4 notes · View notes
8millionscorpions · 6 months ago
Text
bored. need to rest in bed due to being in the ER last night for a rly bad head injury they did not treat me at all for and told me I had to walk home w a head injury, refused to give pain meds when asked (I asked for Tylenol or ibuprofen. they said we'll prescribe u 600 mgs which is over the counter strength), at 1am w it about to thunderstorm after only 1 blood test. they would not hold me the whole night. despite me showing heavy signs of a concussion
anyways my head hurts and I'm resting in bed for a while and taking it easy. I can't Decide
2 notes · View notes
ozlices · 8 months ago
Text
i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person
#mine#i rly do not have it in me to make appointments dawg i have medical trauma can i get used to one new doctor#before im tossed around like a gd hot potato to numerous others. i literally attend my appointments w my cane#what's not clicking abt me having VERY fucking low energy in the aftermath of sm straining stress bruh#but like i dont have a choice bc i could have some of my meds stopped if i dont see certain doctors & im just here like 🫠#i feel somewhat stupid like damn i rly thought finally i had a chill doctor w common sense but no i still gotta fight for my gd life#just be given say over MY OWN GODDAMN WELLBEING#'oh well this causes physical health concerns' to be completely blunt idfc anymore.#truly i fucking do not#my body is a fucking nightmare my entire system resents at this point bc we always have some lvl of bs going on w it#we've no choice but to stop fucking caring bc the numerous mental strains we're dealing w worsen them ON THEIR OWN#& also like literally fuck off bc my body wouldn't be this shit if doctors actually TOOK CARE OF ME PROPERLY#before it got this bad.#there's no fucking fixing shit now by worsening my already overwhelmed & strained body/mind by making me a gd hot potato#if im not Actively Perishing or on the immediate brink of the risk IDC#I NEED TO FUCKING BE ALLOWED TO //CHILL THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT//#//that// SHOULD BE THE PRIORITU#ive been strained for YEARS but esp since last year to a CONSTANT degree#can i fucking get one GODDAMN foot on the ground to pick myself back up jfc#im so tired & annoyed & sick of there always being SOMETHING#i just wanna fucking chill & finish my preps to stream again & get back to pursuing what i love please#im gonna LOSE MY MIND
2 notes · View notes
bunnyb34r · 1 year ago
Text
Huh... apparently my dr forgot to send in one of my meds TWO WEEKS AGO and I didnt notice til now... that explains why I've been so irritable and anxious 🙃
2 notes · View notes
thewispsings · 3 months ago
Note
Hi can u do a smau with max where reader is a doc for f1 and when max unfortunately has an accident she is one of the first responders(dont know what they are called!!!) And he just stares at her and its like love at first sight for him(he fell first and HARDER!!!!!) and everyone online could see it as well
Some teasing from other drivers as well
And proceed how u deem fit
Loved the sister in law one!!!!!!!
doctor lady | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x doctor!reader
summary: max never thought he would be happy getting a injury that puts him out of racing for three months, but when he has a doctor like you? he can’t help but be a little happy.
Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 816,074 others!
maxverstappen1: we are allllm good guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are aliveee wnd well babybyvy 🤘AND me and lanHOE (becuare he id a BOE) got a pretty doctory lady 🥰🥰🥰 she’s sooooooooioiiooooo nice and prety AND she made us NOT feel pain so we love her 😍😍😍😍😍
view comments below!
user1: they got him on those GOOD painkillers
user2: we’ve seen drunk max, but drugged max? a whole new level
landonorris: guy our lady doctor is soilioooooooooo prety 😍
maxverstappen1: HEY NO 😡😡 i alreadys called dibs!!!!!! she’s MY prety doctor lady. she game ME her instagran and i’m takin HER on a date!
yourusername: if my supervisor is reading this, i gave him my instagram and agreed going on a date with him because he was being difficult, started crying, and wouldn’t take his medication until i did.
maxverstappen1: HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE
user2: started crying??? max verstappen started crying???
user3: pain meds do that to you 🤕
user4: i need a video of that right now
user5: he is out of IT. i can’t wait till he wakes up and realizes what he’s done
charles_leclerc: happy you’re okay mate!
maxverstappen1: oh charles i have missed you dearly 🥰🥰 so happy you got 1st!!!!!!!
charles_leclerc: thank you max ❤️
maxverstappen1: i can wait for you to meet my future wife!!!!!!!! you’ll love her! she saved me life ❤️
charles_leclerc: someone please take his phone away
maxverstappen1: NOOOOO I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY FUTURE WIFR 😡
user6: max, charles is just trying to save you from the embarrassment
user7: when he sobers up, he either won’t give a shit and continue OR he’ll be so embarrassed and he’ll never show his face again
yourusername: everyone, please don’t pay mind to max, he is under very heavy drugs, and is not in a right state of mind. we have tried confiscating his phone, but he starts kicking and becomes difficult.
user8: i know this girl is scared for her job 😭
user9: having max as a drugged out patient seems horrible
user10: literal nightmare material
maxverstappen1: MYYY LOVVER HELLO
user11: good lord #freeyn
danielricciardo: i would say, i hope you recover, but i have a feeling you don’t want to recover?
maxverstappen1: I DONTTTT I NEVER EANT TO RECIVER BECAUSE THAT MEANS NOT SEEING MY BEAUTIFUL LADY DOCTOR SO NO!!! NO RECOVERY FOR ME
danielricciardo: screenshotting all of this for later 🤣
landonorris: i’m hungry, maxie can you tell lady doctor i’m hungry?
yourusername: you can talk to me lando. i’ll go get you something.
landonorris: NOOOO I CABR TALK TO THE LADY DOCTOR MAX SAID I CANT AND HE DAID IF I DID HESS GOING TO KILL ME AND I DONT WANT TO BE KILLED AHHHH
maxverstappen1: YOU FONT GET TO TALK TO MY PRETTY DOCTOR LADY IM GOING TO JILL YLY LANDO
user12: this is genuinely like the funniest shit ever 😭
user13: can’t believe in 10 years from now we’re going to look back at this and laugh
user14: 10 years?? bitch im LAUGHING RIGHT NOW
redbullracing; speedy recovery max! 💓
maxverstappen1: NOOOO NO SPEEDY RECOVERY NO RECOVERY FOR MAX
user15: head injury so bad he lost his love for racing
user16: on a serious note, his injury’s did seem pretty bad, especially his leg…
user17: honestly i’d be surprised if he returned to racing immediately
landonorris: maxie and me got separated :(((( 😞☹️😕😭🥺 lady doctor is is MEAN
yourusername: you two were arguing and disturbing the other patients.
maxverstappen1: DONT CALL MY LADY DOTCIT MEAN!!!!
user18: went from being worried to laughing out loud because wtf is this??
user27; lando and max crashing was NOT on my 2024 bingo card
user28: f1 having a big crash was not on MY 2024 bingo card
Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, landonorris, 619,027 others!
redbullracing: unfortunately, due to last weeks crash regarding lando norris and max verstappen. max has been forced to take a three month leave of absence from racing, as he has severely fractured his lower leg. he has immediately started physical therapy, let’s wish him a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹
view comments below!
maxverstappen1: what a shame 😕 truly saddened by this outcome 😞
user19: what??
landonorris: take a wild guess as to who’s going to be his doctor for three months?
user20: PRETTY LADY DOCTOR???
maxverstappen1: maybe 🥰
user21: we’ve entered the era where max does not gaf about racing as long as he gets to see yn
user22: does this mean he’s not winning the wdc?
user23: he still can, he just has to win basically every race after the 3 months, which isn’t exactly impossible for him
charles_leclerc; so sad for max!
user24: your ass does not feel sad for max 😭
user25: he has his eyes on the wdc!!!
user26: HE ACTUALLY HAS A CHANCE TO WIN BOW
maxverstappen1: @/yourusername, ready to take care of me for 3 months :D
yourusername: no
maxverstappen1: 😕
user27: HAHAHA
danielricciardo: LOSER
landonorris: HAHAH GET REJECTED
charles_leclerc: EMBARRASSING
oscarpiastri: that hurt to read
maxverstappen1: SHUT UP WHO ASKED YOU
user28: tbh i wouldn’t be excited to have max as a patient for 3 whole months with how he acted that night in the emergency room
user29: that man is secretly crazy and you can’t convince me otherwise
user30: i love how max is clearly like head over heels for yn, but she can’t date him because he’s her patient 😭
user31: she can’t?
user30: NO!!! that’s unethical, she can date him after the 3 months but not during
user32: that not being common knowledge to some people is concerning…
Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 917,027 others!
maxverstappen1: day one of physical therapy a success ✅
view comments below!
landonorris: so, how many times did she reject you today?
maxverstappen1: ZERO.
yourusername: 10**
landonorris: TENN??????
maxverstappen1: i just don’t understand why she won’t say yes 😞
yourusername: because it’s severely unethical and will get me fired
maxverstappen1: so what i’m hearing is that you’ll go out with me when i’m no longer your patient?
user33: let the countdown begin
charles_leclerc: missed you at the race today!
maxverstappen1: no you didn’t
charles_leclerc: no i didn’t! MAX IT FEELS SO GOOD TOO WIN
maxverstappen1: yeah i KNOW.
yourusername: don’t worry charles, he was watching you during his whole therapy session, and cheered so loudly when you won that we got complains from patients on the other side of the building!
charles_leclerc: I KNEW IT!!!
maxverstappen1: you said you wouldn’t tell anyone yn 😕
user34: it’s so…unsettling seeing max be so publicly affectionate
user35: RIGHT?? like why is he so open about this??
user36: he has no shame…
yourusername: i told you to stop taking pictures of me while i’m working
maxverstappen1: but you just look sooooo pretty
danielricciardo: she doesn’t want you bro
maxverstappen1: SHUT UP
user37: she’s stronger then me, because if i had max verstappen down bad like that?
user38: no literally, i would’ve made him mine the same day we met
user39: why is max posting regular pictures?? it’s weird
user40: he’s trying to impress yn
user39: well he’s going about it all wrong. because these photos just don’t match?? cat, hospital, and then a crappy photo of a therapy room?? horrible horrible HORRIBLE
user41: damn…
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 619,017 others!
maxverstappen1: 2 months down…1 more to go!
view comments below!
user42: HE IS COUNTING DOWN
user43: WE KNEW IT!!!
landonorris: i can’t belive you tricked me into going to a photo shoot for you
maxverstappen1: that is not what happened.
landonorris: you told me we were going golfing, next thing i know i’m watching you get your picture taken like 92884 times 😑
maxverstappen1: just say your jealous
landonorris: OF WHAT???
user44: he’s getting better at being aesthetic
user45: he’s learning!!
user46: are we all going to skip past the fact that max, a hater of everything, had a whole as photo shoot for his instagram?????
maxverstappen1: yn told me i should post more photos of myself for the instagram
user47: so you had a whole photo shoot????
maxverstappen1: yes
user48: oh he’s in love
danielricciardo: looking good max 😍
maxverstappen1; thank you for the support daniel!
landonorris: was that a dig to me?
maxverstappen1: yes.
landonorris: I WAS EXPECTING GOLF
yourusername: looking good max
maxverstappen1: really??? you really think so??
yourusername: yes (with the upmost professionalism)
maxverstappen1: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
user49: why did max just add “yn thinks i look good 🥰” to his bio
user50: LMAOO I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING???
user49: no 😭 he very literally put “yn thinks i look good 🥰” in his bio
user51: why does it look like max is in the doctor training room?
maxverstappen1: because i am!!
user51: THEY LET YOU IN THERE????
yourusername: my boss is a huge f1 fan. so he lets max do whatever he wants 🙄
user51: i’m sorry that’s so funny 😭
user52: does max just follow her around all day??
yourusername: pretty much, yeah
user53: you have no idea how much i want to be you
charles_leclerc: wow max looking good
maxverstappen1: thank you charles
charles_leclerc: aren’t you going to put “charles thinks i look good” in your bio?
maxverstappen1: i don’t care about you enough for that
user54: DAMN THATS COLD
user55: those cats are so cute 🥺
Tumblr media
. . .
Tumblr media
. . .
Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 914,078 others!
maxverstappen1: guys i did!!!! i got a date with the pretty doctor lady 🥰🥰
view comments below!
user56: when he falls first and harder >>
user57; this man is literally obsessed with yn it’s insane
landonorris: beat me too it
landonorris: THIS IS A JOKE PLEASE DONT KILL ME
maxverstappen1: nothing funny. i didn’t laugh. you aren’t funny.
landonorris: 😕
user58: WE CHEERED!!!
user59: i still think it would be funny if she just said no even after the 3 months
yourusername; i thought about it, but he’s rich and pretty so 🤷‍♀️
maxverstappen1: pretty :D
user60: she’s so pretty
maxverstappen1: like i’ve been SAYING.
user61: i’ve never seen a man so down bad before
user62: it’s unnerving
user63: a doctor, pretty, and funny?? max hit the jackpot
user64: they both hit the jackpot 😒 it pisses me off
user65: LMAO WHY??
user64: seeing people live the life i want makes me unexplainably mad
danielricciardo: you’re joking right? she’s not actually dating you?
maxverstappen1: what’s that supposed to mean
danielricciardo: it means she’s too good for you @/yourusername are you being held hostage
yourusername; yes
danielricciardo: OH I KNEW IT. DONT WORRY HELP IS ON THE WAY
maxverstappen1: you guys are mean.
yourusername: this means i can never be your doctor again
maxverstappen1: what if once day, on my way home i crash, and its a big crash with smoke and fire, and i get taken to the hospital but i refuse to let anyone touch me that isn’t you, would you still not help me?
yourusername: there’s just something so undiagnosed about you
user65: HAHAHA
user66: max is just so unexplainable
charles_leclerc: are my eyes deceiving me or did she finally say yes 
maxverstappen1: SHE SAID YES
charles_leclerc: OH YEAH OH YEAH I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT BUDDY
maxverstappen1: OH YEAH OH YEAH
user67: my lestappen heart 💔
. . .
notes: enjoy this while i spend the rest of my night learning how to play the sims
thank you for requesting!!
5K notes · View notes
racew1nn3rs · 3 months ago
Text
─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘷. (𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴) 🐅
⤷ summary: spain and canada. lando's rizz is negative, mission is failed. plus, mclaren pr is about to fuck shit up 🗣️
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
Tumblr media
liked by ynusername, zbrownceo, and 42,908 others
mclaren spain you were forgettable at best 😔 on to the next one
18,980 others
user1 y/n don't insult your team on the team account challenge
mclaren is it really an insult if it's true
user2 we got a lando photo but at what cost
user3 lando fans can never win here
mclaren why you would ever choose to be a lando fan to begin with is beyond me
user2 you're so right queen i'm sorry
landonorris DON'T APOLOGIZE WTF
user2 fuck both of y'all honestly
user4 at least mclaren fans can always count on content, even if we can't expect results 😭
user5 lando and y/n in their friendship era, how the fuck did we get here
landonorris you're posting me now? oh you want me so bad 🥴
mclaren sending this to hr immediately
ynusername YOU'RE FIREEEDDDDDDD
user6 damn she logged into both accounts just to make sure he heard her ass 💀 double homicide
user7 oscar fans i can't even tell if we won or lost
user8 we didn't get a face pic but... we didn't get whatever the fuck the 3rd slide is
landonorris guys pLEASE
landonorris i won't post it she says... it's just for me she says
user9 LMAOOOO AND YOU BELIEVED HER???? 🤣 🫵
landonorris going dark, no one call me
user9 was anyone going to anyways 💀
user10 LET HIM GET UPPPP
oscarpiastri i'll pay you 20 dollars if you don't ever do this to me
mclaren 🤝
mclaren i mean you were never the target but now you will be if i don't get my money!!!!
oscarpiastri oh ok
lilyzneimer i have pictures you can you use if you need bb <3
oscarpiastri WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON
zbrownceo Very funny Y/n! Keep up the good work 👍
mclaren Thanks boss! (:
landonorris ZAK WHY
user11 zak is so supportive now, wait until he sees her comments 💀
zbrownceo I have seen her comments! Very funny! 👍
user11 blink twice zak, we can help you
maxverstappen1 This is the highlight of my week, thank you Y/n!
mclaren hey max verstappen of redbull racing! not sure if you heard but you did win the grand prix this weekend
maxverstappen1 No i know, this is just definitely better.
ynusername where's my photo credits 🫵
mclaren my bad bbg 😍
user12 nurse she got out again
oscarpiastri we'll win next time!!
mclaren who told you that 🤨
oscarpiastri the voices in my head
logansargeant you hold on bro, we'll find your meds soon
user13 i think moto moto likes you ahh image
user14 i need to shrink him and put him in my pocket and keep him there
user15 which one?
user14 lando
landonorris nuh uh, pick again
maxfewtrell you can't post pictures without consent mate
mclaren i didn't??
landonorris i didn't consent.
mclaren who are you gonna believe max? me? or the solid concrete evidence in front of you
user16 he looks like he can do some crazy tricks on a trampoline
landonorris this is the only comment about myself that hasnt made me viscerally angry
oscarpiastri unfortunately i feel the opposite
user17 lany/n at it again
user18 literally what the fuck do you mean
user17 if you dont get it, i can't explain it to you
user18 okay cryptic ass, fuck you 🙄
user19 they're in love guys, just wait and see
user20 yall just love saying stupid shit on this page huh
user19 i hate getting accused of some shit i actually do 😡 like yeah i do love that but who told you
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
Tumblr media
user20 op be so fr right now
user21 everytime one of these illiterate f1 drivers pulls one of the hottest women on earth a fairty dies
user21 *fairy
user22 fairty
user21 you shut the fuck up 🫵
user23 people when coworkers are seen together at their place of work
user24 do you hug your coworkers and follow them like a lost puppy when you could be on a break
user23 wtf no
user24 EXACTLY MF, THIS IS NOT COWORKERS BEING COWORKERS
user25 history will say they were just colleagues 😔
opeightywon this shit is a national tragedy
user26 every time i see a post like this i think about the fact that she has probably seen this and i shiver
user27 honestly praying on their downfall
opeightywon wtf
user28 lando fans be normal challenge
user27 idgaf about that white man, she's just too hot for him 😕
opeightywon oh yeah real
user29 i need another youtube video where they stare at each other longingly again asap or i fear i may start having withdrawal symptoms
user30 another hot girl lost to an average white man's swagless looks and cringe fail personality i feel sick
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer, and 44,786 others
mclaren not our best results in canada but we improved i guess 🙄 but on a much better, more exciting note: NEW MCLAREN YOUTUBE CHALLENGE OUT GO GO GO GO
17,998 comments
user31 my crops are watered, my skin is clear, my funds are tripled
mclaren all me 😮‍💨
user32 "yay challenge video" we all cry in unison
user33 OSCAR FANS IS IT REAL??? HAS IT COME TRUE??? IS THAT A FACE PIC I SEE
user34 and it's good quality too 🤩 what did we do to deserve this
mclaren you don't, but oscar bought me coffee all weekend
oscarpiastri yes i bribed her, i feel no shame
user35 lando's back in the dog house bro, he's back to no face pics
user36 but look at his beautiful brown eyes
mclaren babe they're greenish blue with the TINIEST bit of brown 💀
user37 how long you gotta stare at a man's eyes to know the exact paint blend 🫵
user38 DOWN HORRENDOUSSSSSS
lilyzneimer insert comical heart eyes here
mclaren flirting with your man 🤢 on MY cellular device
lilyzneimer my bad bb, he doesn't mean anything to me anyways 🥴
oscarpiastri ok what the fuck
danielricciardo DROP THE CAMERA SETTINGS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS
mclaren check dms 🤲
danielricciardo thanks love you're the best
landonorris LOVE??? LMAOOOO
user39 bro is losing the dgaf war MISERABLY
user40 the way lando is staring at her the whole time she's behind the camera 😫 oh he's not even down bad, bro's down under
landonorris can i get the camera settings
mclaren has anyone ever told you how good you are at photography?? i'm not saying that, i'm just asking 😀
landonorris oKAY fuck you.
user41 the way she doesn't even pretend to care about the results
landonorris i know 🙄
mclaren i know p13 is nawttt talking back to me right now
user41 OHHH SHE ATE YOU UP HUH
landonorris y'all are some fake ass fans fr
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
8:57 PM.
Y/n stared at the flashing numbers on the digital clock in the boardroom and huffed quietly. The table in front of her was covered in a mix of shredded mozzarella cheese and vibrant, red pizza sauce. Flour with evidence of handprints and bits of pizza dough decorated the wood and the woman internally sighed at the thought of clean up. Eventually she would have to get back to work.
Lando was on his phone across the table from her, and she fought the urge to stare at him. Oscar had left a while ago, having an earlier flight than them out of Canada. Lando and her had made the executive decision to stay and finish the pizza the two men had made during the "not my hands" YouTube challenge. It was messy, and didn't fully resemble a proper pizza, but it tasted good enough if not a little bit burnt. The two had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the time being while they ate.
In the time Y/n had gotten to know the British man, both on and off the track, she found herself warming up to him considerably. He was kinder than she gave him credit for at the beginning of the season, and far funnier. She could see now that more often than not he spoke without thinking or having any consideration, and maybe he was more than a little bit arrogant, but he also felt things deeply and cared passionately.
Before she could think about what she was doing, Lando's eyes met hers and he smirked. Y/n's face burned but she rolled her eyes at him and took another bite of their burnt pizza. Her ears caught the sound of him placing his phone on the table, and when she looked up again he was leaning his body across the table and toward her instead.
"What are you staring at? Hm?" He teased and she scoffed.
"You," she started and took another bite of her pizza, "have pizza sauce all over your face, you idiot. And I'm just thinking, not sure if you're familiar with the concept." He grabbed a napkin quickly and began wiping rapidly at his chin and mouth, and even his nose. She couldn't help but laugh loudly. There was nothing on his face. He was perfect actually. Unfortunately.
"Did I get it? Why didn't you tell me sooner, traitor!" She doubled over but nodded anyways.
"What are you thinking about?" he questioned as he settled back down.
"Just the season, you and Oscar," she muttered.
"Me? Thinking of little ol' me when I'm right here in front of you," she rolled her eyes with a groan.
"You have selective hearing Lando," he laughed and nodded.
"Well what have you thought about it? The season I mean. And myself of course, don't care much what you think about Osc," he leaned on his hand and stared at her intently. Y/n couldn't help that being stared at by Lando felt a little bit like being ocean, being pulled and pushed by the moon's gravity. Her brain didn't work properly around him.
Or maybe I'm just really dramatic and he's just hot, she thought miserably, Probably the latter.
"I just think maybe you and me got off on the wrong foot," she said as she fumbled with the lid of her water bottle, "and I think that maybe I enjoy this job a lot more than I thought I would." The comments seemed to sober Lando's mood up slightly.
Maybe I shouldn't have been truthful. Maybe it shouldn't have been that serious.
"What did you think of me?" He asked quietly. "When you met me I mean."
"Do you want me to be honest?" He looked at her quizzically.
"Of course I want you to be honest Y/n, or I wouldn't have asked."
"I thought you were kind of an asshole," she whispered and he laughed.
"So the beef was real for you," he smiled slightly and she let her face fall gently into her hands.
"Yeah," she breathed out a laugh, "yeah maybe a little."
"Doesn't seem like a little," he goaded and she shot him a glare.
"Okay Lord Lando, maybe more than a little," he pointed at her triumphantly.
"AHA! So it was the instagram comment. I thought you knew I was kidding," A loud groan filled the room as she smacked her head on the table. Lando's giggling could probably be heard down the hall but Y/n found she didn't care all that much anymore.
"It wasn't just the instagram comment," she defended weakly. There was a brief silence as Lando stared into space and shook his head.
"Wow... I can't believe you were actually mad at me and I just didn't know."
"It wasn't that big of a deal I guess, I just felt like you didn't really take me seriously."
"Well I mean you're not a very serious person," Y/n's heart fell to her stomach.
"What?" She asked, staring at him. She couldn't have heard him right.
"Well it's just that you're not very serious are you? Like since I met you, it's never felt like you were a serious sort of person." He added as if that was some sort of defense.
As if that isn't more hurtful.
"You're not like Zak or Andrea, or really anyone else here you know? You're just you, you're different. It was hard to be serious with you here because that's just who you are." He continued.
God just shut up, please for the love of God just shut up.
"This is my place of work Lando," she muttered bitterly. "I mean do you hear yourself." His eyes widened and he put his hands out placatingly. Like she was some sort of rabid animal he needed to calm down.
"No no no," he muttered quickly and stood up to round the table, "that's not what I meant Y/n, you know that."
"Stop Lando, just stop," she said as she began to clear off the table.
Why did she expect him to be different. What made her think he could've changed.
"You made it perfectly clear what you mean. What you think of me and of my work, my career" she spit out, swiping everything on the table into the trash. They hadn't finished eating the pizza and now it was in the bin, but Lando didn't deserve to eat the pizza she helped him make. He didn't deserve to be here at all. He wasn't her friend, he was her coworker and nothing else. It was better she accept that now.
"You misunderstood what I said," he grabbed her arm to stop her from cleaning and she whipped it out of his grasp.
"Stop Lando," she said raising her voice. She knew her eyes were teary but she didn't care. She knew her face was red with embarrassment and her hands were shaking with the force of her humiliation but she didn't care. Lando Norris could go fuck himself.
He looked at her in shock and winced as he saw her face. She steeled herself. She had never cried over a man before, why would she do it now.
"You need to leave, you have a flight in the morning," she said emotionlessly. "And I have to clean so I can go home." He tried to speak and she put her hand up, stepping away from him.
"Get out please, you're in my way," she said and his brows scrunched. He was angry? Good, so was she.
"I'm in your way?" He asked incredulously, as if she didn't have any reason to be upset. "You're not even going to hear me out?" He scoffed.
"No Lando, I don't have time for this. I have a job to do and you're in my way," she said emphasizing the words as if speaking to a child. His face fell. He looked angry.
"Whatever Y/n. What fucking ever," he muttered, grabbing his bag and storming out. Y/n waited. Footsteps in the hallways continued until a far off door slammed.
Y/n wilted like an unwatered plant as tears began to fall.
So much for friends.
She knew deep down she was hurt about much more than just friendship.
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
Tumblr media Tumblr media
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
Tumblr media
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
Tumblr media
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
this is the second to last chapter of part one! i hope you enjoy! please feel free to comment and send requests, i'm excited to hear your thoughts <3
-
𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666
1K notes · View notes
rafeandonlyrafe · 8 months ago
Text
gamers
Tumblr media
words: 800
warnings: vague descriptions of video game violence and gore, established relationship
“is it scary? i don't wanna play if it's scary.” you pout as rafe places the controller into your hand.
“ill protect you, promise.” rafe says, reaching over to flick the lamp on the side table on, that way more than just the light from the tv is illuminating the room.
“fine, but you can't get mad at me if i get your character killed.” you watch as rafe navigates the game easily, opening it up to the character customization screen, just doing default settings for himself.
“oh my god, im gonna make my girl look so cute!” you gush, taking your time to carefully choose her hair and outfit, even though none of the options are stylish, you create the best look you can out of the post apocalyptic clothing choices.
rafe doesn't care that he has to sit and wait for you to perfect your character, not when he finally got you to agree to play with him.
“okay, done.” you nod as you choose a pair of pink sneakers, practical but still cute. “so what's this game all about? just running from zombies?”
“basically.” rafe says with a light chuckle. “we gotta get to the safe house for this round. just follow me, gonna pick up some weapons.”
you pick up the hang of the controls easily, concentrating on the tv as rafe drops a knife and gun for character to use to protect yourself just in case.
“this isn't so bad.” you hum, pausing to admire the scenery in the background of the game, mountain peaks poking up into the sky. “where are all the zombies?”
“they give you a few minutes to get weapons before the storms start.” rafe says, eyes scanning the screen as you head into a building, rafe knows there's med packs in there that he will need when he sustains damage keeping your character safe.
“storms? that sounds scary rafe.” you scooch so you’re closer to your boyfriend. “and it's getting dark.”
it's already dark outside your actual window, but you can tell that it's getting darker in the game as well, the sun setting as you follow rafe down the desolate street, crashed cars and trash strewn about just like if it was a real apocalypse.
“here they come!” rafe warns, clicking the buttons quickly as his character shoots at the zombies moving slowly towards you. your eyes widen upon seeing the gore, cringing and turning to hide your face in rafes shoulder once your character is hidden behind a stopped car.
“i don't like this rafey!” you whine once the gunfire stops, peeking up to see a literal pile of dead zombies. “it's scary.”
“i know, but i kept you safe, didn't i? we are almost done with the first level, just gotta get to the safe house then we can take a break, okay?” rafe offers, keeping his eyes on the screen but turning his head to press a kiss to your cheek.
“fine.” you groan. you like playing games with rafe, but your preference is him watching you dress your sims or decorate their houses after using a cheat to get them more money, only wanting your sims to have the best furniture.
you navigate your character to follow him down the sidewalk, occasionally stopping to kill the zombies. you even manage to shoot a couple.
“wait, baby, be careful.” rafe warns. “dont go that way.”
but his warning comes too late as a zombie jumps out of a dumpster that you’re standing directly next to, making you scream as it takes up your entire screen, not just attacking your character but also jumpscaring you.
“i got you, hold on.” rafe is pressing the sprint button as hard as he can, as if that can somehow make his character get to you faster. rafe manages to kill the zombie before it has the chance to bite you.
your chest is heaving up and down like you were the one to get attacked. “come on, the safe house is just around the corner.” rafe wraps an arm around your shoulder, using one hand on the controller until you’re both behind the barbed wire fence, the game switching to a cutscene. 
“i hate this.” you look to rafe with a pout on your face. “can we play stardew valley instead? please?”
rafe sighs. he should have known better than having you play with him. you are extremely adverse to any sort of shooting game. “yeah, sure.” rafe saves his progress, just in case he can convince you to play with him again before switching to stardew valley and handing you the main controller.
“yesss, thank you.” you smile, pressing a kiss to rafes cheek as your character wakes up. “you’re the best boyfriend ever.”
“you just say that because you need me to go into the mines for you.” rafe says with a laugh.
“well, its scary!”
taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @die4niyahhh
578 notes · View notes
munsonsprincess11111 · 10 months ago
Text
Panic attacks.
Eddie munson x reader
Summary: Eddie's having a bad day in school. He's doing everything not to have a panic attack. He doesn't even know what's wrong with him. He's sat at lunch leg bouncing. Hands sweaty. He needs help but the man will never admit it.
Eddie's sat at lunch n he's a hot mess. Shaking. Heavy breathing. He feels like the rooms spinning. Like everything ten times louder. Feels like he could throw up. He needs help. He doesn't even know what's wrong. Will he ask for help? Nope.
"Dude are you sure your OK?" Gareth askes concerned.
Eddie just mumbles and keeps his face in his hands.
You come walking over. Smiling ans joyful.
"OH no the devil in disguise." Jeff jokes as you approach the table.
"Hilarious honestly you should ditch hellfire and join the comedy club your that funny." You joke back. You look down at Eddie and your face goes from happy to concerned. "You OK hunny?" You ask noticing his state.
He nods but other then that ignoring your even stood there. Normally Eddie's hands would be all over you by now talking non stop. You know somethings wrong.
"You sure?" You ask raking your fingers through his mess of curls. As your nails make contact with his head he flinches. You pick up Eddie's tun lunch box and hold your other hand out. "Common." You say to Eddie.
He finally looks up at you confused. "Let's go Common." You walk off. Eddie looks at the rest of hellfire and then gets up and walks off with you. Once you exit the cafeteria his head drops to your shoulder as you walk along taking his hand in your free one.
You both say nothing. Just walk down the halls in silence. Enjoying eachothers presence. However Eddie is still on the verge of his break down. "Where did you park?" You ask quietly "normal spot." HE mumbles back. You nod and walk to where Eddie parks.
He unlocks the side door opening it for you then climbing in after him. You pull the sofa in the back and turn it into the bed. You kay down opening your arms for Eddie. Eddie comes over and lays down next to you. Putting his head on your chest arms around your waist and hooking one leg over your legs.
You wrap your arms around him holding him close to you. Eddie closes his eyes and his breathing starts to slow down. His leg still bouncing slightly. But he's finally calming down.
"What's going on hun?" You ask quietly. You sit still holding the boy. He let's out a shakey breath. He hides his face in the crook of your neck finally speaking.
"Everything is becoming stressful again. I wanna skip lessons but I don't wanna fail. I'm not sleeping until late cause I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. And when I wake up I wake up late so I forget my meds which really isn't helping. By the time I remember I'm in first period. I go home take them and bam another night not sleeping. But if I Dont take em all together then I feel worse. I just need a break. And I feel like I've barely seen you and I really just need you and only you right now. The only time I see you out of school is with someone else present where its a group hang out. And I feel really fucking selfish but I just need something."
He broke. His eyes welled with tears. His breathing uneven. And a shaking mess. You run your hand comfortingly through his hair.
"Babe. You should've told me. We can hang out anytime just us you say the word I'm all yours OK? Don't feel selfish for needing something. How about I come stay at the trailer tonight? We van watch some movies and start fixing your sleep schedule for starters. I'll stroke your head until your asleep. N ill make sure we wake up on time and you take your meds." You whisper stroking his back.
He let's out a relaxed breath. "I don't deserve you. Your fucking perfect thank you love you so much. N yeh I sleep way better when your at mine no Idea why guess its just comfort." HE removes his head from your neck looming at you
"I love you to n ill always be here for you. I'll stay tonight so u get up for school n ill stay the weekend even Sunday night? That OK?" You ask. Eddie nods putting his head on your chest. 10 minutes later you both walk back into school hand in hand. You take Eddie to class and he promises to meet you at your class after school and you part ways.
-next morning-
6:53am. The clock read when Eddie woke up. He looked at laying on your side. Arm still drapped over Eddie. He squeezes you tighter kissing your head. "Babe, gotta wake up sleepy." HE says laying sweet kisses on your face.
You stir awake amiling at Eddie. He kisses your lips and you scrunch your face. You knew full when you had morning breath but Eddie didn't care. "Howd you sleep?" You ask running your hand up his side.
"SO fucking good. Best night sleep in about a month I won't even lie to you." HE says kissing your neck.
"You fell asleep so early 9 o'clock u went." You smiled at Eddie.
"Mmm was the head and back scratches." HE lays next to you hugging you.
You smile at him happy you could help him. Laying your head on his chest. You stayed in that position for another 5 minutes before getting up and dressed for school.
Your making toast for you and Eddie as he walks out slipping his top on giving you a brief glimpse of his happy trail which your eyes went to immediately.
"After school." HE winks kissing you.
"Meds hot shot." You says as the toast pops and you butter it. He opens the cabinet getting out his anxiety and adhd meds popping one of each in his hands.
"DO I need the adhd one I'm so fun without it." Eddie askes smirking popping both pills in his mouth drinking some milk from the cartoon.
"Mmm your fun on it to even better actually." You say passing him his toast.
"Mmm ok" he eats his toast and then you both brush your teeth. He stands behind you keeping one hand on your waist as you brush your teeth. And then off to school and you arrive with 10 minutes to spare.
You both approach the hellfire members and they look shocked to see Eddie. "Morning ladies." Eddie greets himself to the boys. Lighting a cigarette in the process pulling you close to his side inhaling and exhaling the smoke. "Cold isn't it."
"Dude your early to school jeez." Gareth says hugging his girlfriend trying to keep warm.
Eddie looks at you and smiles. "Thanks to y/n made me sleep n get up never knew actually needed to do that." HE said finishing his smoke tossing it on the ground.
Everyone parts ways ad the bell goes but you and Eddie. He walks you to the you both had kissing you. "Do we have to go in." HE smiles into your lips.
"Yep common." You kiss him one more time. "I love you."
"I love you too." ONE last kiss and a sutle ass swat and Eddie and you walk into class and arrives on time to the teachers and everyone else's response.
Yeah his anxiety gets the best of him sometimes. But he knows he will be OK as long as he's got you.
You and Eddie sit in the back wanting to be out rhe way. And Gareth walks in sitting in the middle row. "OH my god he came in on time shock to everyone thought the freak couldn't tell the time the amount of school he's missed." Jason comments seeing Eddie his friends laughing. Eddie gets a devilish grin on face.
"OH my god Jason carver came in 30 seconds thought he'd be able to count the amount of school he's attending or can't you cause your heads to full of me. If that's the case I'm honoured Jason but I have a girlfriend maybe one of your boy toys there will get u there in 23 seconds." Eddie smirks putting his arm around your shoulder. You can't help the smirk that creeps on your face.
Jason looks stunned at Eddie that he actually just said that infront of the class. Gareth still staring at the front then chimes in for Jason.
"He's backkkkkkkkkkkk."
196 notes · View notes
deliriumbubbles · 4 months ago
Text
After all the discourse about who was "more" wrong, It's exciting to see Apology Tour put the foot down and remind us that this is Blitzo's story. It's about how he changes and grows. It's not about just letting it go because we know he hates himself. You actually have to take steps toward improvement, and that's really fucking hard to do.
Are there psychiatrists in Hell? Cognative Behavioral Therapy?
So first off, anyone who was dying for Blitzo to be the one sending tons of text messages and coming back trying to talk to Stolas, congrats because he's definitely doing that. And annoying the crap out of Stolas and just hurting him more every time he talks to him because he keeps trying to make them revert their relationship BACK to "I'm just here as part of a transactional fucking." The big problem between them, that he can't believe that Stolas would like him even though Stolas has told him multiple times by now, remains because it's not something he can just hear once and get over.
Moreover, this is his story, so he's just going to say more hurtful things, but Stolas at least, this time, manages to use his own words (likely bc he's not triggered at that point and has some defenses up), and is able to tell Blitzo that his words are hurtful. Instead of magicking him out. Because Blitzo would just pop back over the wall.
So we get a brief, humorous montage of Blitzo going around and apologizing to everyone and not meaning it and he ends up at the Fuck Blitzo party and by degrees, and after Stolas singing a song that suggests that he still kind of blames himself for being foolish and thinking Blitzo cared, it does start to sink in and they talk a bit.
Interesting that this is the first time Blitzo has SEEN Stolas knocking it back because we the audience know he does this kinda regularly. Along with his own damn meds. Geez, these guys.
I also like that they didn't have to villainize Verosika in their conversation. She got hurt because it seems like their relationship was going pretty well until she let an ilu slip and that just sets Blitzo off because he can never believe that. It's like being compliment shy to a million degrees. And so he turned on her, he hurt her, on purpose, and she's angry because of what he did but also because he acts like it's her fault.
IS this party a monument to pettiness? Oh fuck yeah, it is. Maybe people should just learn to let go. I dont' think that's her entire career, but now whenever they're near each other, they both snipe at each other because she was hurt and doesn't feel like forgiving him when he's not sorry. But it was a good conversation between them. Blitzo hit another milestone, admitting out loud that he doesn't want to have to be like this forever. He does it deliberately, and it doesn't excuse it, but he's seeking change. He had to get here before moving forward.
So. Now he's had "a fucking minute" to process what Stolas said, has said, keeps on saying. He's heard that Stolas craves someone to love and want him. It's out there that Blitzo stopped Striker the first time. Unspoken things are moving forward.
I heard people fussing about this being their make up episode, but given the next ep (which probably will be in October), Blitzo needs to be at a low before he starts turning things around. It's his show and more than anything, the arc with Stolas is highlighting how he can't accept good things happening to him.
Stolas still has things he needs to work on as well. Highlighted in this episode is getting a more realistic sense of what romance is kind of like because he's basically a babygay rn. He doesn't have to have another full on relationship to realize that other people could want him. It could happen, but it's not necessary. He just has to recognize that he's not unlovable. That's not the problem with Blitzo. And for him to heal from his father and Stella he does need a little more experience.
Headcanon for me: Stolas and Verosika are gonna be besties after this until I'm proven otherwise.
39 notes · View notes
landos-meat-rider · 1 year ago
Text
1999, part four - final part!
oh my gosh. final part and what a surprise, she's a long one again💀💀ive loved writing this silly little series so so much and i love all of you very very much🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽please give me requests on what to write next bc my mind is completely blank rn, all i can think of is the cold war and bolsheviks from my history revison and i dont think they would make v good fics🤡🤡
lmk what you think of this part and your fav moments, enjoy!!
warnings: tiny angst, mostly fluff, swearing
conrad fisher masterlist
masterlist
Tumblr media
༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝
conrad’s pov
Since Y/n is unable to hold a phone herself, I'm tasked with a lot, but I didn't fully realize the worry of her family until she had me working through each task with her.
No wonder she’s overwhelmed. The number of texts from Laurel, Mom, Belly, Jere and Steven she has to sift through in a given hour would drive anyone insane.
Or maybe I'm just going crazy by sitting this close to her. The smell of her coconut soap is permanently ingrained into my memory as she sits flush against me, pointing at different texts with her uninjured hand.
I can tell her nerves grow stronger as the Uber near the hospital.
Her knees bounce up and down as she dictates message after message I need to send, confusing me more and more with every word.
The work doesn't stop there. After we check in, a nurse hands us a clipboard filled with pages of information that need to be filled out. Y/n stares at it like it might catch on fire at any moment.
"Here." I pass it to her.
Her eyes shift toward the exit. "Will you help me please? I can't write like this." Her voice drops to a barely audible whisper.
"Okay. Tell me your answers and I'll write them down."
Her throat bobs as she scans the first line. It takes her far longer than necessary to read the first question.
"Do you mind reading the questions aloud for me? I'm too stressed to concentrate right now." Her overcompensating smile irritates me.
"Are you sure? Some of the questions are probably personal."
Don't be a dick. Just do what she says.
"I don't care.”
The rigid way she sits in her chair says the complete opposite.
She seems to be one minute away from breaking down, so I concede. I sigh as I grab the pen and get started on the first question. The paperwork doesn't take us as long as I anticipated, so Y/n and I sit together in silence. She stares at the exit longingly.
The way her eyes dart around the room as she gnaws on her bottom lip makes me feel merciful enough to save her from the anxiety eating her up inside.
“If it's any consolation, I hate hospitals too."
Her head swings toward the direction of my voice.
"Yeah?"
I nod. "Haven't been to one since…"
"I know." she says as she sees my chest heaves as I remember the millions of times we’ve been here before.
I keep my eyes focused on the soundless television playing in one corner.
Her good hand clasps onto mine and gives it a squeeze. I'm grateful she understands me enough not to ask any other questions. The idea of offering another raw part of myself feels like a betrayal of the years I've spent carefully developing a certain kind of persona.
"I hate them too." Her voice cracks.
"Why?"
She stares down at her swollen hand. “My dad…” She pauses, and I give her hand a reassuring squeeze like she gave me. "Let's just say mom ended up in the ER a couple of times for being clumsy."
I take a deep breath to stave off the anger bubbling beneath the surface. "And did you have issues with being clumsy?" If she says yes, I swear to God two men will end up floating in the Chicago River tonight.
She shakes her head rather aggressively. "No. No." My rapid heart rate can be heard through my ears. "If you were, you can tell me." While I can't promise I won't do anything about it, I can promise to make him hurt. A lot. With sulfuric acid or something, those pre-med studies are starting to come in handy now.
The overwhelming sense of protectiveness hits me hard, and I don't shy away from it. There is nothing I hate more than men who use their fists against innocent women and children.
"It never got to that point. Suze made sure of it." she says with a small smile.
"How?"
"She caught onto the signs and interfered before things got bad. Used her savings from my grandpa's life insurance policy to help Mom get a divorce and start a new life." A tear slips down her face, and I can't stand the sight of it.
I brush it away with the pad of my thumb, but the damp trail still lingers. A driving force inside of me wants to erase the sad look on her face. "Did her plan also happen to include a jug of sulfuric acid?"
She forces out a laugh. "I think concrete shoes were more in style back then."
I fake shudder. "Remind me to never make mom angry again."
"Forget her, you'd have to deal with me." She holds up her injured hand like a war trophy.
"I'm absolutely terrified."
"Miss Y/n?" a nurse calls out.
Y/n doesn't move at the sound of her name.
"That's you." I place my hand on her thigh and give it a squeeze.
She sucks in a deep breath as she stares down at my hand.
Her chair nearly tumbles behind her as she bolts out of the seat, throwing her one good hand up in the air. "I'm here!"
The nurse leads us through the emergency room bay.
Individual beds line the wall, each area divided by a paper curtain.
The empty bed meant for Y/n is unacceptable. Between the person retching behind one partition and the individual on the other side hacking up their lung, I refuse to let her be seen here.
"I'd like my…my friend, to be taken care of in a private suite," I speak up. I know I sound snotty right now but honestly, I’ll be damned if I let her already horrible hospital experience get any worse.
The nurse grimaces as her gaze licks across my body. "This is a hospital. Not the Ritz. Take a seat and wait for the doctor like everyone else."
Y/n hops on the bed without any complaint, and I'm tempted to grab her and go elsewhere. The nurse doesn't seem the least bit bothered by all the noise happening around us as she checks Y/n’s vitals and asks some routine questions.
Y/n answers each one while chewing her bottom lip raw. This atmosphere couldn't put anyone at ease, least of all her.
The nurse hangs the clipboard at the foot of the bed, and I decide to try again.
"I'll pay whatever it takes to have her seen somewhere quieter. Money is no object."
The nurse only replies by shutting the paper curtain in my face.
Y/n laughs while I stare at the curtain, dumbfounded to be treated like this.
"You find this funny?"
She nods, her eyes alight for the first time all night. "Did you see her face when you said money is no object? I think if she didn't put the clipboard away, she would have slapped your face with it."
"It's not my fault she isn't accustomed to how things are done in the real world."
"Wake up baby. You're living in the real world." She waves around our room.
"It's terrifying." I say, looking away so she couldn’t see the blush that appeared on my face at the nickname.
"Come here. I'II make it better." Y/n pats the bed.
Doubtful, but I'm a glutton for giving her what she wants lately. Paper crinkles as I sit next to her. I take up most of the bed, giving her little room to get away from me. My thigh brushes against hers. She tries to scoot away, but there isn't enough space.
“Isn’t this cozy?" she quips.
I give her a small smile before she asks, “Hey! Let me see your tattoo.”
God I’d forgotten all about them. I move the collar of my shirt to show the two small ivy leaves we’d gotten. She gasps and gently touches my skin, “Oh my gosh it’s so pretty Connie.” she stares at it for a moment before I ask to see hers.
She lifts up her shirt on the side, exposing her ribcage and the two matching leaves.
“I can’t believe you agreed to get a Taylor Swift referenced tattoo with me Con.” she says as I admire the tattoo for a bit.
I smile until saying, “Hey I might be quiet and mopey but at least I have good taste in music.”
She softly smiles at me before eyeing the IV bag with horror before checking out the exit.
"What’s wrong?”
She leans closer to me and whispers, "Is now a bad time to admit I pass out whenever someone tries to stick a needle in me?"
My lips lift at the corners. I don't know why I find the idea hilarious, given her ability to watch eight consecutive hours of true crime documentaries without so much as flinching.
"You're afraid of needles?"
She sputters. "No. I'm not afraid. It just happens to be a bodily reaction I can't control."
“That's good then because the nurse needs to set you up with that IV when she comes back."
“No! Don't tell me that! I thought she was one of the good ones.”
I nod, pressing my lips together to prevent myself from laughing.
"She lied to me!" She bolts from the seat and would have tripped over her own heels if I didn't reach out and catch her.
*Careful." I place her back on the bed and decide to stand guard in case she gets any ideas to flee the scene.
Her eyes fit from me to the gap between two curtains, as if she is thinking how she can get past me.
"I'm joking.”
She scans my face for the truth before she slaps my shoulder with her good hand. "Asshole! I believed you!"
Laughter explodes out of me like a bomb, stunning her.
“Did you just laugh?”
"No."
“Yes." Someone calls out from the other side of the curtain.
“Now, do you mind shutting up? Some of us are trying to get some sleep over here after having our stomach pumped."
Fuck this place and the people in here. "We're leaving."
"Not so fast. You can't leave before I check you out." The doctor strolls in and points at the bed with his clipboard.
Y/n remains tight-lipped as the doctor checks her chart. He asks her some questions about how she got hurt, all while staring me up and down like I'm the person she was trying to injure. She is taken away for a few scans, and my breathing doesn't return to normal until the nurse brings her back.
That should be my first sign that things are getting out of hand on my end. I'm inching closer to an emotional minefield without any kind of map, only one wrong step away from exploding.
The doctor checks the scans. "It looks like you have a boxer's fracture."
Her face brightens. "That sounds badass."
I glare at her. "Calm down, Muhammad Ali. I wouldn't count today as a victory by any means."
The doctor's eyes lighten. "Next time, avoid any initial contact on the fourth and fifth knuckles."
"Please don't encourage her."
The doctor shakes his head with a laugh before giving Y/n a detailed set of instructions regarding the healing time. I'm skeptical about the whole visit and, given the setting, doubtful about the level of care. I'll be damned if Y/n sustains permanent injuries because of Dean. My chest tightens at the idea.
“Great Thanks, Doc!" She hops off the bed, but I hold my arm out, stopping her
"I’d like a second opinion." The command bursts out of me without any rhyme or reason. Deep down, I know a boxer's fracture isn't the worst thing that could have happened. But things aren't right in my head where Y/n is concerned. At least not anymore.
Both of the doctor's eyebrows arch. "For a small fracture?"
"Don't mind him. He tends to be a bit overbearing." She shoots me a look as if I'm the crazy one out of the two of us.
"Okay..." the doctor says.
Maybe I am losing it because why else would I care?
You hate it when she cries.
You wouldn't mind murdering someone who hurt her.
You took her to the hospital even though you despise them with every fibre of your being.
The signs all point to one thing: our situation is quickly crumbling, and I'm the only one to blame.
Y/n interrupts my thoughts. "I'll be sure to wear the brace for a few weeks and avoid any kind of activities that could aggravate the injury."
"Perfect. And don't forget to schedule a follow-up visit with your physician. "The doctor gives me one last look before handing Y/n the discharge paperwork. "Nice meeting you."
"Will you help me with this?" She holds out the clipboard with her left hand as the doctor leaves.
I grab it from her and fill it out.
She checks the time on her phone. "Well, at least that didn't take as long as I thought it would. I'm sure you're dying to get back home."
That's the scary thing. I didn't think about anything or anyone once during our entire time here because making sure she was taken care of was my only concern. I've spent the past seventeen years of my life thinking solely about my future, and all it took was one girl to make me completely forget about my responsibilities for a few hours.
As if that doesn't scare me enough, it only takes one glance at her makeshift brace to make my blood burn hot under my skin. I know exactly why her injury angers me more than anything else.
It's the same reason I feel the urge to push Jere away from her whenever he gets too close or the way I unexplainably need to see her whenever she is out of my sight for longer than a few hours.
You’re in love with her.
Fuck.
                ༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝
y/n’s pov
We’re in an Uber on the way home, sitting in comfortable silence until Conrad breaks it.
“Why’d you get with Dean anyway?” My stomach doubles over.
Comfortable silence is so overrated.
I sigh. I’ve been dreading this question for ages now.
“I don’t know.” I answer vaguely.
Conrad gives me a puzzled look, “What do you mean you don't know? You must’ve had a reason.”
His restlessness gets me more agitated.
“I don’t know Conrad. I don’t know why I got with him, I don’t know why I was waiting on you for so long either.” I look out the window as the car stops in front of the house.
“What? What do you mean?” he says as I get out the car and speed up to the front door, taking the keys out of my pocket and refusing to carry on with this conversation anymore.
Conrad keeps yelling after me as he follows me upstairs to my room, both of us trying to ignore everyone else who joined Conrad and are trying to ask their own questions.
I slam my door shut and collapse on my bed hearing Conrad trying to calm everyone down and telling them everything that's happened until he asks them all to give me some space for now.
I cry in the silence as I hear everyone leaving from outside the door until it opens.
“Hey.”
Steven. Thank God.
“Steve…” I say sniffling.
He looks at me with a sad smile before sitting on the bed with me and taking me in his arms.
“Con told us everything,” he says after a few minutes of holding me, “did you really get a boxer's fracture?”
I laugh in tears before showing him my hand and saying, “You should see the other guy.”
Steven and I laugh together before going back to the silence as he hugs me.
“He really cares about you, you know.”
“No he doesn’t. He hates me. I yelled at him and now I’m crying here on my bed like an idiot.”
“Did he say anything to you?” Steven looks down at me.
I shake my head before saying, “He asked why I got with Dean.”
“Oh. That’s not too bad.”
“No it’s not.”
“Then why are you so upset?”
“Because I’ve been waiting for Conrad for so long and I’m just sick and tired of always being there to help him get over his breakups when he’d be so much better off with me. I know I sound selfish and none of my reasons are justified but I just thought that after everything we’ve been through together, he’d maybe like me just a little bit.”
Steven hugs me again and softly says, “He does.”
After that almost everyone but Conrad came in to check up on me and make sure I was okay, making me feel even more guilty about being all emotional like this. It’s not until Susannah’s holding me and whispering sweet nothings that my eyes start to feel heavy.
I think I fell asleep after that, I don’t remember much except waking up to the sun shining its very unwelcome face in my eyes.
I step out of my room after freshening up and I’m about to make my way to the kitchen for food until I’m stopped by something in the hallway.
Or should I say someone.
“Conrad,” I bend down and stroke his hair out of his face, “Conrad wake up.” I say gently.
He stirs for a minute before sitting up and taking my hands in his.
“Have you been out here all night?” I ask.
“Yes.” he says in a raspy voice.
God that voice would make my knees give out if I wasn’t already on the floor with him.
“Why?”
“I need to talk to you.”
I sigh before he interrupts me, “Listen, I heard everything you said to Steven last night and I know I shouldn’t have and I was eavesdropping but I’m sorry it was by accident. And I know I don’t deserve any more of your time…I’ve already wasted a lot of it but just hear me out for ten minutes.”
“No.” I try to get out of his grasp.
“Stop fighting and give me ten minutes.”
“No way.”
“Nine then.”
“Five.”
“Eight and a half.”
“Six.”
“Seven.”
I pause, knowing that he won’t let me go anywhere before I hear him out.
“You don’t deserve seven seconds, let alone seven minutes of my time.”
“How about seven words then?”
I laugh. “I’d like to see you try.”
“I am falling in love with you.”
I blink up at him. Either I am still sleeping or I must have not heard him correctly because there is no way Conrad Fisher just admitted that he is falling in love with me.
Absolutely no fucking way.
Right?
I squeeze my eyes shut as if that can erase the words from my memory.
"You're joking.
"I'm not."
"This is just another part of your game." I try to push him away, but he doesn't budge.
"It stopped being a game for me a long time ago."
"You're lying."
His brows pull together. "Ask me why I hate when people touch my bookshelf."
"Are you serious right now? What does that have to do with any of this?" I think back to his bookshelf he won’t let any of the others go near but loves to let me organise and re-organise each year.
"Because I did it for you."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I read somewhere online that organising objects like books and things is good for people with anxiety, because then they can feel in control of something and know exactly what to expect especially if things are the same as they've predicted all the time. You love reading too, so I changed it. Bought all the books you like to read so that you’d stay and read with me more often. I forced everyone else out of my room and especially away from that bookshelf. All because I wanted to help you."
Emotions clog my throat, preventing my ability to reply.
What can I possibly say that could compare to that?
Conrad doesn't give me an option as he continues. "Want to know why I kept this plant you got me?" he says pointing to the small green cactus with “Don’t be a prick” written on the pot that we could see looking into his room from the hallway.
I nod.
"Because it was the first time someone got me a present that made me laugh."
If hearts could melt into puddles, mine would be liquified right about now.
I take a deep breath.
Remember what he did.
“Con that doesn't change anything you still ignored me for a whole year. Every time I tried to call you or text you, you’d just leave me on read or decline, and now you’re telling me you love me? Who does that?"
"Someone who doesn't understand the first thing about loving someone, but is willing to try if you give me a chance."
"You want me to give you a chance after everything? Do you think I'm stupid?"
He winces, and a bit of my anger fades away at his vulnerability.
"Intelligence has nothing to do with this."
"Easy for you to say when you're not the one who feels like a fool."
"Really? Because based on your reaction today, I'm feeling pretty damn foolish for ever admitting that I'm falling in love with you." He gets up off the floor, leaving me feeling chilled to the bone.
"Con..." I reach out, but he takes a step back.
My eyes sting from his rejection. It hurts.
“I’m not asking you to love me back. I don't expect that and I'm not sure if I ever will because I'm the furthest thing for lovable. I'm selfish, and rude, and don't know the first thing about being in a proper relationship with someone. But that doesn't mean I’m not willing to try for you if you let me."
How am I supposed to be angry at him when he thinks he is unlovable?
A pain rips through my chest at the thought of him talking about himself this way.
I get up off the floor and walk straight into his chest. His arms quickly wrap themselves around my waist, holding me even tighter.
"Just because you make selfish choices doesn't mean you're a selfish person. At least not completely."
This boy had been there for Belly, Steven, me and Jere for years without any kind of payback, especially when Susannah was going through her cancer and despite feeling an immense amount of pain himself, he shoved all his emotions aside so that he could be there for us. For me. If that isn't a selfless sacrifice, I don't know what is.
"Your logic is half-baked at best."
"So is yours, seeing as you called yourself unlovable."
His body tenses. "I'm stating facts."
"I don't know what bullshit your father told you over the years, but it's not true. Your brother loves you."
"He’s obligated to."
"No one is obligated to love someone else. Blood or not."
He takes a deep breath. "You're right."
I smile up at him. "I could get used to hearing those words."
He reaches up and cups my cheek. "Give me a chance and I'll tell you them every single day."
I sigh and look away. "I don't know.”
"Tell me what's stopping you."
"You don't do relationships."
“Good thing our feelings lead us here rather than our minds, and mine are willing to try then."
I avoid his penetrating gaze. "What if my feelings are telling me to run?”
“It's cute you think you can outrun me, but I'll give you a head start just to make things interesting." he smiles down at me.
"Do you always have an answer for everything?"
"Not for the one that matters most." The way he looks at me stirs up something deep inside of me.
Longing. I want to give him a chance, regardless of the potential fallout.
You might get hurt.
I might, but I might miss out on something special because I’m too afraid of the what ifs. I'm done being that person. Even if it means getting hurt, I'd rather try and fail than never try at all.
I stand on the tips of my toes and press my lips against his.
He holds me tight against his chest, as if he is afraid of letting me go.
I pull away, only to clasp onto his chin. "This could be a disaster, but I'm willing to try."
He shuts me up by pushing his lips against mine, sealing our new deal. The way he kisses me is different than any time before. He cups my face with the palms of his hands as his lips mold against mine, teasing me until I feel dizzy. His thumb brushes across my cheek back and forth, and heat rushes down my spine straight to my belly. He makes me feel cherished. Protected.
Loved in a way that makes me never want to come back down to reality.
I could spend forever being kissed like this and still feel like it isn't enough. While Conrad might not be the best with words, his kiss says it all.
He is falling in love with me. And I’m falling in love with him. No translation necessary.
                ༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝༝ ˚ 。⋆ 𓇼 ⋆。 ˚ ༝
ahh i cant believe its finished omg😔💔...
anyways, onto the next one😍🙏
again please lmk what you think of this and please give me requests on what to do next!!
144 notes · View notes
pulisicsgirl · 2 months ago
Note
You and him being together but declan, Lauren, benny and his girl dont like you
You work in a hospital
Let's say one day Mason had his family and friends over and starts to not feel good, and to have a big ache in his tummy zone
He tries to let it pass, but it gets worse, so they take him to the hospital you work into
He leave his phone to declan/benny and asks them to call or text you to let you know he is there and come to see him once your shift is over
They never text you obviously
Let's say one/two hours pass and they found out it might be his appendix, but they need to do more tests cause it's not raptured yet
One nurse who is taking care of him and knows you are together Goes to his room for a check-up and asks him if he has asked someone to call you and he tells her told his friends to do it, and she is like oh that's weird, her shift finished 30 minutes ago she should be there by now
So she's like let me check where she is
Thankfully, you stopped to talk to a colleague, and she finds you in the changing rooms, and she tells you about Mason
So you run to him, and he asks you if you received a message from his friends or something so you immediately check your phone and see no-one had texted you
Casually his family and friends work in, and he immediately asks benny/Dec if they texted and they can be like oh yeah we did with our phones she didn't answer so Mason is like we'll I think you should go now, she is here I don't need you there
Thankfully it wasn't his appendix rupturing so you are sent back home a few hours later
nurse!y/n, my specialty 🤭🤭
his friends have tended to be a bit suspicious of you, not because they particularly have anything against you, but they’re just so protective of Mason and they’re afraid you might be with him for the wrong reasons. so when they decide that Mason needs to go to the hospital and he says to call you, they’re thinking it’s not really their biggest priority at the moment, and just push it to the back of their mind and never really come back to it
as soon as your coworker finds you in the break room, your heart would just sink when she told you Mason was there, immediately assuming the worst. maybe she hadn’t gotten the details on why he’d come in, so as she’s leading you to his room, you’re wracking your brain for what could’ve been wrong, thinking he had just been planning to hang out at home with some friends that night, and you were going to come over after your shift
as soon as you make it to his room, you’re immediately rushing to his side. by then, they had already given him some meds to help with the pain, so he’s already feeling a bit better, and he can’t help but admire you in your scrubs, your hair a bit disheveled after a long shift, while you’re fussing over him
and of course you’d be all “what’s wrong? are you okay? has the doctor seen you yet? why didn’t you call me?” asking a million questions at once, and Mason’s all “no, someone should’ve called you, i told one of them to,” gesturing to Benny and Dec sitting off to the side, but when you check your phone, there’s nothing
Mason is beside himself, immediately laying into them because he knows why they hadn’t called and telling them that he would be well taken care of with you there and they could just go. he even rolls onto his side, facing away from them, huffing as he does so because he’s hurt that his friends clearly don’t think very highly of you and he’s feeling a bit exposed and vulnerable, lying in the hospital bed with everyone fussing over him. you’re a bit taken aback by his behavior
you come out a few minutes later to find them in the waiting room after talking with Mason to get caught up, and they both look ashamed as you speak to them. you had suspected for a while that Mason’s close friends weren’t your biggest fans, but you were determined to put in the work to get to know them better and prove to them that you really care for their friend.
you wind up exchanging numbers with them, promising to keep them updated on Mason’s condition as you found out more, and they’re so relieved at the end of the night when you let them know that the two of you would be heading home as it was nothing serious.
the both decide that perhaps they were too harsh in their treatment of you, after seeing the way you looked after Mase and how attentively you updated them during a stressful time for everyone involved, and they vow do better and get to know you instead of judging you from afar
22 notes · View notes
xr0tt3nxfl3shx · 9 months ago
Text
👁💊My Medicine is underdeveloped and my Amygdala won't work.💉👁
Twomp[AU] fanfiction + art !! Pertains to the events in this post. [No beta we die.]
⚠️‼️TW: VOMITING / OVERDOSE / SUICIDAL IDEATION / UNREALITY / CORRUPT MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM / GENERAL MENTAL ILLNESS THEMES‼️⚠️
A/N: i didnt wanna mention it tbh but just in case, ive been down the chemical consumption road 3 times, an i mention because i know the internet has opinions on mental illness in writing. But ive been there myself. All up close and personal like. so i think i can speak on it (dont castrate me)
POV: 👁Argos👁
I scratch at my skin in the dark of my room as if that'll hold in the tears from spilling over my burning red cheeks. The feeling of rage and overwhelming depression clash within me, and leave me to switch every few minutes between cursing the name of every therapist who ever told me that "I'm not even trying to get better" and crying over the idea that they might be right.
My heartbeat is so vigorous that it feels like at any moment the tendons will tear away and my heart will burst in my ribs. How could anyone say that to me? I seethe and hiss through my gritting teeth. Why can't I get better? I cry enough to fill an ocean and nearly drown in my tears.
I should be able to control all of this by now, I'm not a child. Yet, I can't stop thinking about putting the heads of those who hurt me on a platter. Or banging my head on my bedroom wall hard enough to dull the heartbreak. My eyes are running dry from all the tears, I've been at this for a while. My head is pounding from the adrenaline. All reasonable thoughts are drowned out, with intrusive and irrational ones taking the place of my internal voice of reason.
I can make it better, I can make this better. I just need to try a little harder! Just.. go a little further. These feelings, it's just a chemical imbalance right?
I'm running out of options, types of therapy, pills, at this point I might as well just get a lobotomy. I'm sure my therapist would like that.
There's still time to make this right. I don't have to end my life to end my suffering right?
I can prove them wrong. I will prove them wrong. It's just a chemical imbalance. I just need to fix it.
I rummage through the medicine cabinet above my bathroom sink, overlooking the blood crusting around the drain. There has to be something in here that can make my head stop pounding or my thoughts quiet down if not for just a little while. Maybe everything all at once? Yeah that should do!
Laid out in front of me on the cold tiled floor of my bathroom are various pill bottles. The amount of pills actually in them is varied, they like to switch my meds every other week it seems. I try to be hasty with this, pouring out a small handful of gel capsules into my hand. Each one smooth, glossy, and slightly cool to the touch.
You know, I've been here before, and typically there's some survival instinct in me, paralyzing my hands before I can do any damage. But all I can feel is anguish. And anger. And there's no more room for self preservation in me.
I take my first dose before I can come down from my emotion fueled adrenaline rush. Quickly now don't let the self preservation come back. I take my next dose of a new pill type, a tablet. It was a bad idea doing this dry but oh well!
Before I know it I'm slumped against my bathroom door, unable to continue my self medication on account of the mounds of pills I dry swallowed having begun triggering my gag reflex. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about this, but it had to be done. My therapist is always urging me to take steps in the right direction!
(Though admittedly he never mentioned which direction is the right one.)
I make it back to my bed, dragging my feet and leaning on the wall for support the whole way. It's not even five minutes in when I start to feel the effects. I probably should've eaten before taking my pills like the instructions say.
This is different though, I feel my connection to reality slip right through my jittery fingers. Like the shadows in my room are divulging their presence. Like they are reaching out their hands, ready to take hold of me, pull me in and make me one with unreality. An emptiness overcomes me, something I've truly never felt before. And it's the strangest thing, because simultaneously I've never felt more alive in my life.
Everything is really funny, I've never noticed how funny everything is up until now. Every little unorganized thought that pops up in my foggy, spacing-out head manages to get a strained laugh out of me.
Visual snow floods my peripheral, the colors of the world begin to become one with the static in my eyes.
Ah, I remembered what I was going to do in here. I need to call Mr. Plant. I need him to know that I'm going to get better, and how much I love him of course. Oh he'll never understand just how much I love him! I love him to death, haha! Literally.
I dial in the number. Moving has proven difficult, like trying to control a vehicle while tired and out of it, or in my case trying to control a vehicle through the most debilitating brain fog I've ever experienced. The disconnection from body and thought is almost calming.
The ringing of the phone is such a funny thing as well. I could lose myself in the methodical rhythm and loose vibrations running up my hands- oh look here he's answered!
"M‐r… plant! I ha-ve.. s o me thi.. ng to tell you."
I am fighting to get the words out. The weak sounds I manage to get out of my raspy throat come out in uneven tones with jarring stutters. Why is it so hard to speak?
"I took.. a lot o-f... my me-ds. Ha-ha!" He hangs up immediately.
Is he not happy for me? It wasn't long before I heard sirens closing in. Did he call the cops on me? That's no fair, no fair at all.
I've never been rolled into the back of an ambulance on a stretcher before but there's a first time for everything I suppose. It's too bad I'm too out of it to really experience it.
In the ambulance is when the first wave of nausea hits. I could barely even feel the EMT insert the IV or hear when they asked me questions.
———
The heart palpitations do their diligence distracting from the perforations left in my arm from the injections of various medications and the IV drip.
My respiration is just as irregular as my heart's chemical damaged rhythm. I feel like I'm drowning in this heavy air and it feels like the knots in my stomach have spread to my heart. This pain is so unbearable that I feel the need to crave it out of myself with a blade.
The world is doubling- no tripling, blurring, and mushing together all at once. I can feel the hum of the fluorescent hospital light buzz through my head. The scent of rubbing alcohol and sterilized equipment is evident throughout the cold medical facility.
By my own hands I've made my body a place unsuitable for living. I've "almost drugged myself to an early grave" as the hospital staff keep reminding me.
Speaking of body, I can no longer tell where I end and the wires of the EKG machine begin. Neuropathy has set in and nerve sensation has dulled for the most part, except in my stomach and heart where it hurts the most of course. But me and the machines they have me hooked up to might as well be one as long as they are taking the place of my dysfunctional body systems.
When they run the EKG scan, which they do about every half hour, they ask me to stay as still as I can, but it's hard to control the shaking when I don't know where it comes from in the first place. I'm by no means cold, or if I am I really can't feel it.
Have I mentioned the shaking? The tremors? I need to grow accustomed to the flavor of raw stomach acid soon, because that's all I've been throwing up anymore. It's all that's left.
The nausea begins to build all over again, like my stomach is writhing and contorting in my torso. I can feel the knots being tied. Over the next few minutes it builds and builds, I'd do anything to stop the encroaching bile now. The nausea completely overwhelms my senses right before another round of the most violent retching I've ever experienced. Accompanied by the most awful squelching and splattering sounds as it hits the rest of vomit already resting at the bottom of the bag.
I feel like I'm nearing being turned inside out everytime it happens. And I've filled yet another vomit bag. This isn't going to stop for days as the doctor told me. I doubt I'll get the luxury of unconsciousness.
The activated charcoal they gave me to drink is like this black sludge, "slow and steady now, don't drink so fast you throw it all up but not so slow that you succumb to the consequences of your own actions." Well maybe that's not what they really said but it's how it felt. I can tell the staff are judging me, I just know it! They think I deserve this.
At least the charcoal is cherry flavored.
My many eyes dart around the clean and pristine hospital room erratically, glancing off in every direction. I don't want anyone to look at me anymore. I can't stand the buzz of the lights and I can barely bring myself to move enough to blink. Or even move enough to breathe. I am much too dizzy and light-headed to even consider standing up. I'm so dizzy I could swear I'm phasing in and out of my body. The only thing keeping my consciousness bound to this body is the unending pain ancoring me in the reality of my situation.
It's growing increasingly unbearable.
Above all else I am losing my mind trying to figure out where I went wrong tonight. These chemicals were supposed to fix all these feelings. The pills were supposed to fix me. My psychiatrists and therapists all told me that I'm sick, disordered, and all I needed was to buy a few more medicines.
It must be my fault, it must be if hundreds of milligrams of mood stabilizers can't just make it better.
Tell me, anyone tell me, why I'm so useless that I can't even help myself?
Why am I so worthless that my medicine won't work on me?
Tumblr media
I am almost entirely suspended in unreality. The prozac, olanzapine, mirtazapine, and everything other useless drug they gave me were meant to cure me. I've tried everything!
I've done the very most I can to try and make the bad thoughts quiet down. And are the thoughts that tell me "I'd be better dead", my own thoughts, or a symptom of one of my diagnoses?
Is the reason I'm like this the same reason I don't deserve love, or do I not deserve love because I'm like this? I want to get better. I swear I really do.
So why does no one believe me?
"Sir, you have a visitor." The nurse informs me in a harsh yet hush tone.
The words barely make it through my chemical head. I'm practically catatonic in this hospital bed. But when I do process them I pray to every divine that it is who I think it is.
Red petals on the top and bottom, two yellow petals, one pink and one blue. I was right!
I can't believe he came all the way down to this void to come see me. I really thought he'd stay home. I don't think anyone or anything could possibly understand the pure desperation I feel coursing through my veins. Right alongside the saline they're using to flush my IV of course.
My boyfriend entered my hospital room, #34 I believe, I saw when they rolled me in on the stretcher. Tears well up in my dried eyes, I couldn't feel enough of anything to cry while drugged out of my head but seeing him, well, I need him more than I have ever needed anyone before.
The look on his face when he saw me is one I didn't know he was capable of, pure horror even. I must look horrible stained with my own bile in these itchy hospital scrubs. He is quick to clasp my hand in his and rub along my knuckles and the back of my palm. Through the blurred vision and tears I can't even make him out anymore but I don't need to, I just need his touch. I need it so badly.
I have no depth perception at the moment, or hand eye coordination, and again everything is quite blurry so it was mostly unintentional when I pulled him in by the sweater. He leans into me and wraps his arms under my upper back, holding me against his chest.
He's warm against me, holding me gently in a hospital bed. I can't feel much at all other than the pain, his warmth was the only other sensation I could pin down in my head. It was such a harsh contrast from how I normally see him acting.
With him so close I can't tell where he ends and I begin this time. Even in one of my most painful moments, I feel a familiar comfort in my palpitating heart. He's the only thing keeping me from going entirely mad. He has no idea what I'd give to melt into him right here right now, become an amalgamated abomination of our half hazardly bonded flesh and bone. I'm afraid I'd ruin him and all his perfection with me and all my misshapen and grotesqueness.
I am especially disgusting as of now, making him worry about me like this. Can I not be horrible for just one second? Selfish, that's it. I must be selfish. I take another go at speaking a moment after we pull away. All I can muster is an apology that comes out more like a pathetic stammer through my tears.
Tumblr media
The way his cold gaze met mine shook me. I've never seen real tears stream down his face. He looks so... distraught. Its like he's looking right through me and simultaneously looking directly at me. And on top of everything I've never seen him sign so frantically. He rarely signs at all.
"Please don't be sorry."
"Don't strain your voice."
"Just stay right there, okay? Do you need anything?"
"I'll get you anything, I'd do anything for you."
I knew he cared about me, but I guess I never realized just how much. Or maybe I just forgot. How horrible am I?
Is it possible I'm actually worth something to him? Worth enough for him to call me an ambulance, worth enough for him to comfort me in the hospital bed, worth enough for him to cry over me?
Was I really worth staying with all this time?
My thoughts are interrupted by another round of retching, it seems those knots in my stomach weren't just anxiety. Mr. Plant holds my hand through it. I'm gonna be here a while, I know that. But he's here with me, and from the looks of it he isn't leaving my side anytime soon.
I'll make it out alive, not for myself, just for him. And for the possibility that maybe he needs me just as much as I need him. I wish my mind wasn't so scrambled, so I could find the words to express just how much I love him.
I love you Mr. Plant.
61 notes · View notes
savnofilter · 2 years ago
Text
Wisdom Teeth Aftercare
Tumblr media
                    LoV + Giran x [GN]Reader
Tumblr media
CONTENT WARNING(S): sav attempting fluff, mentions of wounds & medicine doses, def an insert, semi established-relationships.
WORD COUNT: 1.5k [5 mins].
READ MORE: masterlist + [students & adult masterlists]
A/N: im in so so so much pain. wrote this because im lonley and would kill to have one of these beautiful characters to aid me. these would be longer if i wasnt so delirious rn. (not proofread)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Dabi knows what to do but also does not. 
hes been through a lot of painful situations wheres hes needed to take medication, and most times he isnt even able to take any. 
hes trying his best to comfort for you in his own little warped way. 
"Hey, sit back down" Dabi snaps at you in annoyance as you attempt to leave your bed, and rolls his eyes at your mumble-whining. "You're delirious right now, don't argue with me."
he makes sure that your night stand is always replenished. hes like a little nurse and even in your medicated haze, you find it super cute.
♱ you cant tell him that tho… he'll get pouty. not something you hate but its the bratty behavior that follows it.
gives you tons of forehead kisses because he cant give you cheek ones cuz of your swollen cheeks. 
its practically killing him he cant just cup them while theyre big the way they are. 
is definitely teasing you as he takes care of you. sometimes putting stuff out of your reach or eating a burger in front of you knowing you wont be able to do that for a couple of days. 
"Fine fine, say ahh-- oh wait." Dabi snickers. 
he really thought he ate, huh? i guess he did (literally).
Tumblr media
Shigaraki does not know what hes doing. 
"You want cuddles or sumthin'??" He tilts his head as you look at him with the most annoying puppy dog eyes you can muster up. 
he unfortunately believes that you could suck it up but we all know its because deep down he enjoys pain a little too much. 
is actually persistent on giving you your meds for you to heal with.
although dont expect it to be accurate all the time…. 
he isnt as attentive and usually drops by to spend some time with you since he doesnt want you to be alone too much. 
even with how awkward it is, he'll give you the "normal'' amount of affection and give your head and cheekbone area light kisses for you to feel better.
"You know I can go steal a way stronger dose right?" 
If you could frantically shake your head no you would.
he'll sometimes let you play video games with him so he can also keep himself entertained as well. 
he doesnt assimilate into your schedule like Dabi does but he tries his best to still help you no matter what.
Tumblr media
Toga in a very odd way is ecstatic that youre in pain. 
♱ not like she isnt “odd” already,,
shes very excited to play nurse and help you heal. probably dresses for the part too.
"We'll get you back up on your feet in no time!"Toga declares happily, shoving a small spoon into your mouth with applesauce on it. 
is whistling or humming as she helps you out and somehow acquired some non-prescriptive cute glasses. she'll tilt them up or press them closer as she checks the doses. 
shes actually pretty on top of it (but you do have to double check if its correct because you know how careless she can be without ill intent).
she'll get you stuff animals and blankets for you to nap in. 
has it so shes sleeping over (not that thats new anyways).
gives you lots of affections but makes sure to be soft so she doesnt hurt you by accident.
if youre in any kind of pain, you can always count Toga be there to aid you. 
Tumblr media
frantic. 
youd think with Spinner's cool demeanor would make you think otherwise but nope. 
hes clocking your schedule and making sure you got everything set. 
"You have everything for 12 pm right?" He checks in and takes your small little nod as a yes. He releases a small sigh to himself and leaves to take a tinkle. He let's out one of the most loudest sighs of worry you've ever heard from him. It's pretty funny when you realize he's been trying to keep composed this whole time.
unlike Toga, he has actual glasses. 
looks like such a grandpa taking care of you. 
youre so entertained by him that honestly it distracts you a bit from the soreness and the pain. 
he gets mopey when he cant cuddle you on days where youre in too much discomfort. 
has you basically nesting as you recover. 
a little all over the place? yes. would you still rate your experience with his 10/10? 
of course.
Tumblr media
literally do not expect too much from him. 
with all Twice's sides it really differs on what youre getting that day (sometimes throughout if its a hectic 24 hours).
he is trying his best since he doesnt like seeing you in pain and gives you lots of kisses. 😭
idc what anyone says out of the whole league, hes the most caring. 
when hes attentive, hes on it. 
checking your temp, getting your foods, making sure you have your cool & hot pads. also has alarms so he can remind himself when to check up on you. 
unfortunately he doesnt want to seem like a bother so he tries to not to be too much in your space </3
he knows you dont mind but he gets self conscience as he normally does. 
even when hes not tending to you hes just chilling in your vicinity when you two arent interacting. 
he thinks he couldve helped you more but you think he did great. 
Tumblr media
Mr Compress is all the extravaganza. you said calling in sick, bro heard "time to pamper and preform".
even if its the smallest things he'll give it to you in fun little ways so you arent bored out of your mind. 
♱ and also so you dont feel skipping out on doses and actually take them. 
you werent aware but this mf also has multiple costumes?? youre pleased to have learnt this. 
he is a show man after all…
of course he doesnt over do it, he wants you rested not overstimulated. 
is a very chill man to be around when hes not doing flip and tricks and you cant decide which of him you like more (you dont choose ultimately).
of course he has a little something up his sleeve to keep you on your toes but you cant complain with that. 
did he essentially treat you like a kid? yes. 
do you care tho? not at all. 
Tumblr media
Kurogiri is the most put together out of them. 
(youre supposed to be surprised by this revelation.)
i mean, what do you expect from a man who has taken care of another man for years…?
makes sure youre doing everything so you can recover expeditiously. 
isnt doing all that affection stuff honestly. 
he drops in, replenishes everything you need and dips. 
he kind of treats you like youre sick and it lowkey hurts your feelings with how much he avoids you. 
in general hes give an average amount of affection so you sometimes have to speak up when he hasnt cuddled you for some time. 
even with all your requests he never seems bothered how much you ask and what you ask for. :')
he is pretty good but sometimes you wish he could be a bit softer (sue me).
Tumblr media
imagine Toga but 2.0. 
Magne isnt as energetic and into the role of the 'nurse' but is very much still doting. 
feeds you in the beginning stages before you gotta remine them that they definitely dont have to. 😭
when youre feeling extra cranky theyll try and coax you into it (consensually ofc who do you think youre with?!)
"I know you don't feel like it but you'll feel much better once you take it." Magne rubs your shoulder as you whimper in pain, and presses a gentle and chaste kiss to your temple. 
even with how bubbly and outgoing they are, they are just as stern. 
is one to make sure youre having a laid experience while making sure your lazy attitude will not interfere with your healing process. 
makes sure to have a big celebration thing when you are fully healed and gives you all the cuddles that you may have missed out on when you were healing. 
Tumblr media
AHT AHT stfu hes on the list dont say anything. 
Giran's methods may be ghetto but he gets the job DONE. 
"Y'know I got my own knocked out by and old friend of mine" 
"Mmphwha…?" 
"Crazy shit, I know! But he's some psychiatrist or sumthin' so I trusted the bastard anyways!" 
um… moving on…
is in and out of your place but makes sure that youre well taken of when hes there. 
its like a roulette if when you wake up he'll be on your bed watching TV or if hes nowhere to be seen without a trace. 
will give you the rare kiss but more of his gentle behaviors are like little pokes to your cheeks just because of how puffy they are. 
♱ got you those get well presents and theyre so cute. </3
his treatment is nothing special but it definitely helped you feel better. 
441 notes · View notes
idkwhatever580 · 14 days ago
Text
Agatha All Along Commentary
⚠️WARNING⚠️ AGATHA ALL ALONG 1x6 SPOILERS AHEAD
you’ve been warned
Im late again guys 😣 alright. Here goes nothing. I’m seriously considering taking my anxiety meds before these episodes because atp that might help.
Started watching at 3:00 pm
I stg I stg I stg I stg if this turns out bad I’m gonna throw up. And that says a lot considering I have emetophobia
Ooh fancy he’s Jewish
I’m not familiar with the Jewish religion but seems pretty cool.
Okay so we have established that this is Billy Kaplan which idk how y’all dug so deep to figure it out but I guess it was common knowledge and I do not have common knowledge so it adds up
Ooh now there’s a party funnn lol
I wish I had parents that were proud of me
Lmaooooo “you’re both disgusting” is so fucking real
4:25
ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???
She’s kinda hot guys. I have daddy issues but I’m a lesbian lmaoooo
5:14
WTFFFF I CANT DO THIS SHIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT SHES TOTALLY LYING TO HIM IN THIS
5:42
wtf does the tower reversed mean bitch
6:14
Hearing her say baby is so fucking hot I’m gonna nut everywhere
Oh lord guys I seriously have problems… but don’t say you weren’t thinking it too 😏
6:51
WTF IS THAT THING A PROTECTION SPELL OR WHAT?!?!
DID SHE PLACE THE SIGIL?!?!
Omg if she placed the sigil on him that would be insane
7:46
If y’all out there with the theories about Billy maximoff’s soul taking over Billy kaplan’s body im kms because that’s so valid
——id like to let y’all know that I know nothing about the marvel comics and I do not intend on learning or digging that deep kk? I also don’t know what Wiccan is but I guess it’s Billy maximoff? Not looking for someone to explain it tho lol——
IM SCARED J DONT WANNA SEE MY BABY
NO WANDA NO WANDA I DIDNT NEED TO HEAR HER VOICE
8:34
Holy shit.
8:39
Watching it disappear is so sad. Like I know she’s hurting and saving the rest of them
9:00
OH MY GOD THE PARENTS STAYED ALIVE I THOUGHT YALL SAID THEY ALL DIED OR LIKE TWO DEATHS
9:33
NO FUCKING WAY THIS SHIT IS ACTUALLY TRUE
Y’all playing too hard
9:52
No fucking way. I’m actually so done right now. I’m so fucking done I need to scream at someone and it needs to be the fucking producer
10:15
That must be so fucking scary to go to “sleep” as Billy Maximoff and wake up in someone else’s body. Like in Disney shows when they switch and shit they have a moment where they look in the mirror and scream but this is def more realistic
Also I thought someone said there were two deaths. I don’t see no dead people up in this bitch
10:55
wtf is this?? inside out?
11:06
Noooohohohoooooo I forgot that Billy M can mind read and shit
12:33
That dog knows
Why is it always the dog that knows?
13:44
Having to call her mom must have sucked balls
15:22
Damn he already trying to fit the part bro. Moving on too damn fast
Him and his mom with the lying bro ✋🙄
Stop I sound like Agatha 😭
16:02
SHE DID PLACE THE SIGIL ON HIM WTFFFF
16:26
Okay I see you little emo gay kid having more piercings than me and having kissed more people than me and I’m older than you 🙄
17:26
Damn that’s crazy. He actually is telling this dude his shit
18:40
Damn that’s so fucking crazy his smile is creeping me out bro
Also I totally knew little Billy M was meant to be a little gay baby
19:24
Damnit all of these hoes have connection with him. Of some kind
19:57
You found a guy on Reddit. And you’re meeting him? That sounds like you’re getting killed.
OMG WHO IS IT TELL ME WHO IT IS
ITS RALPH NO ITS RALPH POOR RANDALL SORRY RANDALL ITS JUST WE KNOW YOU AS RALPH
21:06
Damn he went kinda crazy from being with Agatha all that time huh? That means the only one that can handle her is rioooooo
21:42
Don’t take my wife’s name in vain hoe
lol I’m kidding
I also apparently have multiple wives
Lmaoooo please ask about Agatha harkness
24:06
YOU FUCKING MURDERED SPARKY I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS I DONT CARE IF SHE MADE YOU DO THAT SHIT I HATE YOU
24:19
Omg I can’t do this shit
Does this mean that Tommy is also in someone’s body?
25:27
I seriously do wanna know what kind of crazy that lady eats for breakfast. And I hope it’s me 😏
26:24
Yeaaaahhhh this song eats me up.
27:20
HOHOHOHHHHH THAT PICTURE IS THE IMAGE OF A FA- a gay woman. A gay witchy woman…. 👀
27:36
OH YEAH THEY BROUGHT MY GIRL DOLLY INTO IT
DOLLY PARTON FOR PRESIDENT 2024
Ahem… excuse my political views ✋😭
28:20
Omg omg omg he’s going on the road to find Tommy I’m gonna cryyyyy
29:43
Oh he’s so emo with his eyeliner and his black heart boyfriend and his belt chain and his witchy witchyness
…okay maybe im jealous
29:55
Ugh mommy. They’re both so hot. I know we only see Agatha in this part but I’ll nut to the thought of Aubrey Plaza
30:06
You’re seriously using a fucking house lamp you idiot ✋😭
30:29
You tell me to stop I’ll do it mommy
OH LAWD I HAVE ISSUES
I have to shit bro 😭
31:07
Hooligan is so fucking funny 😭
31:33
Guys I’m nutting everywhere from her sitting like that she’s soooo gayyyyyy
The producer really said “gay” and Kathryn Hahn said “yes”
32:16
I think if I was in that situation as teen, I’d say I want to. I want to poke that damn bear and see if she’ll throw me on the desk and- oh. Right right. Not the point ✋😭😏
I ALSO JUST REALIZED THAT SHE IS WEARING A SHIRT THAT IS RALPHS RANDALLS? Idk anymore bro
32:59
Wait… this is so fucking funny bro 😭😭😭
33:45
OMG SHES LIKE IN THE INTERROGATION TABLE AND ITS ACTUALLY HER HOUSE BRO
I NEVER MADE THAT CONNECTION 😭😭😭
34:21
HOT HOOOTTTTT SHES SO HOT RIPPING THAT TAPE IS SO HOT
34:28
THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY BRO
34:46
Hold on these side swipe things are going too fast I’m so lost. 😭 I hate having a horrible memory that makes me not be able to remember every single detail when we’re going back to something from a different pov
35:10
STFU SHE COULDNT HEAR EITHER TIME AND BOTH TIMES HE SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT I WONDER WHAT HE SAID ON THE ROAD WITH THE OTHER WITCHES
35:19
YEEESSSSS IM SK GLAD WERE BACK TO THE ROAD
35:28
Yes! Pull yourself out of that mystery goop!!!
36:11
FUCK YOU BITCH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DONT BREAK THE SIGIL PIECE FUCK YOU
37:53
Wait. I am so gullible I like her being nice bro ✋😭
38:00
COVERED IN MYSTERIOUS ROAD GOOP OR NOT THAT POSE IS FUCKIGN HOT
38:09
I can’t tell if she’s crying because she’s happy the SIGIL is broken and she’s right or if she’s crying because she actually liked the kid
38:33
FUCK SHES BEING EVIL AGAIN I NEED A GOOD AGATHA AND I KNOW IM NOT GETTING THAT BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM
38:45
I’ll kill someone for you Agatha
39:05
Wait when she’s like don’t feel guilty about your talent I feel like she’s trying to be evil but it’s kind of endearing. Like. Shes so strong about it which means so many witches have felt guilty about their talents before and she doesn’t want that to hinder him. Even if she is evil that’s pretty sweet.
39:53
OH FUCK YOU BITCH KYS KYS HAHA THATS WHY YOU CANT USE YOUR POWERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD GOOD NOT DECENT GOOD
40:43
Stfu Agatha. Don’t mess with our bitch.
Robo papa? BAHAHAHAHAHAAA
she knowsssss
41:34
BAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA
42:02
“Got it” not her being serious for once ✋😭
42:25
DONT I KNOW IT BITCH YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL ME IM WATXHING YOU LITTLE MAXIMOFF BITCH
Post watching notes:
I seriously needed some Agathario shit and I didn’t get that and I’m mad. IM SO MAD THAT THE INTIMACY COORDINATOR WAS FOR TEO LITTLE BOYS I NEEDED MY MIDDLE AGE WOMEN TO MAKE TF OUT THEY ARE TEASING ME 😖😖😖
10 notes · View notes
herofics · 6 months ago
Note
Hii, idk if you take emergency requests, so I apologize in advance if you dont, but i was wondereing if you could please write a hurt/angst/confort oneshot in which Present mic or midnight (or both) walks into their niece room (Aizawa's daughter) and find her attempting suicide. And they they have to tell Aizawa about it?
Thanksss, love ya ✨️
A/N: There’s been a lot of Aizawa lately, but I don’t mind. I consider requests like this to be a priority, so I wrote it as soon as I could. I’m sorry if this is kinda OOC, I haven’t watched the anime in ages, but I tried to do it as well as I could. I still have two more Aizawa requests that are just WIPs at this point, but those are probably gonna take a while, because I wanna write other stuff too. I picked Midnight for this, since I don’t really ever write about her. If you want more of these kinds of things, check out the masterlist in the pinned post
You were sitting on your bed, a pile of pills in your hand, when there was a knock on your bedroom door. You scrambled to hide the pills under your pillow, but a few of them fell on the floor next to the bed.
“Hey sweetie, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine, Auntie Kayama. What are you doing here?” you said as nonchalantly as you could.
“Your dad sent me to check in on you, since he’s gonna be late again tonight” Kayama said.
“No offense but why does he suddenly think I need a babysitter?”
“He’s worried about you… we all are” Kayama said, as she sat down on the chair that was by your school desk.
“You really don’t need to be, I’m fine” you said, looking down at your feet, now noticing the fallen pills.
Kayama followed your gaze down to the floor, now also taking note of the few tablets that were laying on the floor.
“What’s this?” she asked, leaning down and picking up one of the pills.
“Oh, I must have dropped it while taking my meds earlier” you shrugged, evading direct eye contact with her.
“Honey, I know a lie when I hear one” Kayama looked at you compassionately.
You sighed in defeat and lifted the pillow to reveal the pile of pills. You weren’t even sure why you did that, maybe you just wanted her to talk you out of it.
Kayama had heard about what was going on with you from Aizawa. You’d been hurting yourself and acting in a self-destructive manner otherwise too, so your father had been worried about you. They’d agreed that you might have an easier time talking to Kayama, since you’d been so distant with your father lately. She never would have thought her timing would be this on point though.
“Oh sweetie” Kayama said, and moved to sit next to you on the edge of the bed. “Come here” she continued as she opened her arms to hug you.
You leaned against her and let her wrap her arms around you.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked as she rubbed your upper arm.
“Honestly, I don’t really know. I just don’t want to bother anyone, I’m enough of a burden already”
“You’re not a burden honey, and you’re not bothering your dad, or me, by talking to us. You can call me anytime if you need someone to talk to, I’d much rather you call me at three in the morning than you hurt yourself” she smiled sympathetically.
Kayama talked with you for a while, and you cleaned the pills off the bed before turning in for the night. She sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea until Aizawa came back. She’d barely drunk any of it, she just sat there, thinking, with the warm cup in her hands. She’d known you since you were just a baby, and you were like family to her. How did it end up like this? She knew Aizawa was a wonderful father, even if a very busy one. Kayama snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the front door open and close.
“Hi” she greeted Aizawa quietly as he walked into the kitchen.
“So, how did it go?” Aizawa whispered as he sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, opposite of Kayama.
“We talked, they definitely need some help, and I don’t know if we’re enough. They were considering trying to kill themself and I’m pretty sure they would have attempted it if I didn’t happen to come by, but I think it’s safe for now. At least I really hope so”
“I knew they were having a really hard time lately, but I was hoping it hadn’t gone this far” Aizawa sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
It’s not like he was angry with you, he was just extremely worried about you. No parent wants their child to be in pain. It was his job you keep you safe, but how could he when the danger was your own brain? He would just have to be patient, walk alongside you wherever you were going to go, and help you pick up the pieces when you were ready. There was nothing he wanted more than for you to be happy and healthy.
“What am I going to do Kayama? How do I talk to them about this?” Aizawa asked.
“I think it’s best to just be honest. Tell them you’re worried and that you love them. They were worried about being a burden, especially to you”
“I wish they didn’t think that, they’re not a burden, they’re my kid” Aizawa sighed.
This was his first time raising a kid, at least one of his own. He had seen all kinds of teenagers pass through his class, so knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. There was not a single parent on the planet that knew everything their kid was up to, but he just wished he had intervened earlier, maybe he could have stopped things from snowballing to this extent.
“It’s going to be okay, Aizawa. I know things are not going to change overnight, but with a dad like you, I’m sure they’re going to make it through this” Kayama said.
“Thank you, Kayama” Aizawa smiled tiredly.
“I need to head home now, just keep an eye on them and talk to them, but most importantly, listen” she emphasized the last word.
“Good night, get home safe” Aizawa said, hugging his friend goodbye.
“Take care” she waved as she walked out into the night.
Kayama was like family to Aizawa and to you as well, and he was just glad you’d been able to open up to her. He just hoped it would give you the motivation to start talking to him as well. It’s not that you didn’t talk, maybe he just didn’t know how to ask the right questions, but he certainly wanted to learn. For you, he was willing to do anything, for you, his only child he would go to hell and back, especially so you wouldn’t have to.
22 notes · View notes