#'season one was so BAD but here's my recs if you have to watch it *all episodes but the tie-in ones that disappointed people*'

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Favorite Season 6 fics

So these used to be called "Fic recs for my BFF", but unfortunately I was unable to sway her to buddie, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ these are just for me now (and you guys too I guess 😅)

Season 6

🔥Curl Up in My Heart and Let Me Keep You by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Animal Transformation | 10K | Teen): When an orange tabby cat starts hanging around the Diaz house, Eddie doesn't think anything of it. The little guy's cute and cuddly, and seems to always know when Eddie's having a bad time. Weird how the cat's never around when Buck is, though.

🔥let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-Coma AU | 54K | Explicit): “It’s just that—I died,” Buck continues, voice unsteady enough that Eddie wonders if this is the first time he’s acknowledged that out loud. “I died, and there’s so much more. There’s so much more I want to do, things I don’t even know I want to do yet, and I almost had the chance to have and live them taken away. I don’t want to die and regret missing out on everything else, Eddie.” “So let’s make a list,” Eddie says. “Let’s do them.” or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

🔥like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): The kid with blood pouring down his shins is not so far from the dog lonely enough that he thinks breaking his housetraining is worth it for the ten minutes of berating that come with it, the ten minutes of undivided, if reluctant, attention. Buck thinks, sometimes, that at least he wasn’t the kind of puppy that gets put in a sack and drowned at birth. He wasn’t always unwanted. And he isn’t anymore. or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

🔥Something Dumb to Do by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 8K | Explicit): "Too bad we can't just date each other." Eddie laughs. "What?" "No, I'm serious!" Buck sets his beer down, the better to gesture with both hands, face lighting up, and Eddie just—he really loves the guy, okay. Ridiculous as he is. "It would be so much easier! You wouldn't have to introduce a new person to Chris—he already likes me anyway—and you could tell Pepa so she'll stop setting you up on dates that don't go anywhere—" "And what would you get out of this?" Eddie asks, grinning. — Or: Buck and Eddie try something out together. (Part 1 of homeward bound)

🔥find a way to you (if it kills me) by foxwatson/ @eddiediazes (Post S6E13: Mixed Feelings, Pining | 19K | Mature): It’s something about the way Eddie phrases it. Something about the combination of his words and the way he’s staring down at the floor, and the flush in his cheeks and the way he’s fidgeting. Buck thinks, abruptly, he’s going to ask me on a date. “Well I - wanted to tell you first, and I need someone to watch Chris, anyways - I know he’s getting old enough now he doesn’t like feeling like he’s got a babysitter, so I was hoping - sorry. Not the point. Uh. I have a date on Saturday.” Just as abruptly as his own hopes had come soaring up above the cloud cover of his own unawareness - they go crashing back down to the floor - to the basement, and into the mud. “A date?” Buck rasps out. — the one where eddie decides to start dating again, buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief

🔥Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Time Travel, Post-S6, Getting Together | 80K | Teen): When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica.

🔥 Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Coma AU, Multiverse | 58K | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

🔥 Both Blade and Branch by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S6 | 62K | Mature): The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.

🔥 where all of the people dancing and clapping would greet me with such warmth by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (Season 6, Magical Realism | 15K | Mature): In the fall, Buck begins to disappear. (or: Buck can see that people become transparent when they're about to die) (Part 2 of All I Am, All That I Am)

🔥 Ace of Hearts by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): "I've been wondering…" Maddie pauses, watches Buck make a face like he's bracing to be smacked. "What happened with Eddie? You two were dancing around it for so long, and then… what, it just didn't work out? Was the date really that bad?" She's expecting another wince, or even for him to duck out of the conversation entirely, but instead Buck is staring at her like she's grown a second head. "Maddie. I've never been on a date with Eddie." Or: the poker game was a date. It takes Buck a while to catch on, though.

🔥 situations, circumstances, miscommunications ( i just may like some explanations ) by heartbeatdiaz / @lonelychicago (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 4K | Teen): "You didn't know?" Eddie asks, calmer but not less confused. He frowns. "How could you not know?" "You never said anything?" Buck tilts his head to the side. "We were dating?” “I guess not,” Eddie sighs. His heart is beating a little faster, an unpleasant buzz beneath his skin as he all but chokes on a feeling he can’t quite name— it could be hurt or disappointment or maybe a mix of both. In that moment, he knows three things very clearly. 1. Buck is going to be the death of him. 2. He is in love with the most dense, most oblivious man on planet Earth. 3. He is too gay and, honestly, too old for this shit.

🔥listen to you breathing (is where I wanna be) by Yavilee/ @theladyyavilee (Presumed Dead | 41K | Teen): The thing is – and Eddie should have known this, has been taught this cruel lesson over and over and over again – the thing is most of the time the worst day of your life will start like just any other day. A million small moments, so familiar and mundane you almost don’t even notice them slipping by - until you would give anything to go back and get just one more. (You can’t.) — Or the one where Buck is presumed dead after a building collapse and Eddie has to live through the reminder that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone

🔥Eddie Diaz vs The Feelings by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (Season 6, Sexuality Crisis, Demisexual Eddie | 62K | Explicit): Eddie dives into the mysteries of attraction, romantic love, and asexuality because there's a good chance he's fallen in love with his best friend. AKA demisexual!Eddie figures out he’s demi and finds the happily ever after he’s been longing for

🔥tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Time Loop | 43K | Mature): "Think I can get a hug from my best man on my wedding day?" he asks, quietly hopeful in a way that makes Eddie want to tear off his skin. "Sure," Chris replies with a shrug, turning to throw Eddie a cheeky grin. "Dad, Buck needs a hug." Two things happen at once then: Eddie has to plaster on a smile authentic enough to convince the one person on this planet that knows him inside out—except he doesn't really have to fake his smile, not at first, because of number two—he sees groom-Buck for the first time. And groom-Buck is every bit as beautiful as Eddie might have imagined him over the years. For a moment, Eddie falls into the greatest betrayal his brain has ever laid out for him, imagining that he might have got to see Buck like this for the first time from the other end of the aisle— (OR: eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia)

🔥 Muscle Memory by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S6, Amnesia AU | 40K | Teen): After a disappointment in his personal life, Buck wakes up one morning to find everyone he loves has forgotten him completely. No memories. No recognition. Almost like he was never really there.

🔥 but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

🔥 a blaze in the dark by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Post-S6, Eddie Coming Out | 117K | Explicit): Set post-Season 6, where Buck has inadvertently sacrificed his friendship with Eddie in order to focus on his new relationship with Natalia, and is shocked when Eddie comes out to the team and subsequently reveals that he is dating a guy.

AUs

🔥Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU, Post-S4E13: Suspicion | 27K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

🔥 Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent - Supernatural Elements, Ghost Buck | 67K | Explicit): When Eddie's son claims he has an imaginary friend, Eddie doesn't think much of it. Christopher is seven, it's what kids do. But then weird things start happening around the house, and Eddie starts dreaming about a handsome blue-eyed man. Turns out, Christopher's friend isn't so imaginary. Their house is haunted.

🔥like when the sun came out by spaceprincessem/ @spaceprincessem (Canon Divergent, Ghosts | 39K | Mature): He completely pulls the charger from the wall as he fumbles to put in his passcode. He doesn’t know who to call first. Everyone is busy, carrying on with their lives and Buck is stuck here in the loft with the terrifying ghost of his childhood like an omen. Out of the corner of his eye he catches the Crooked Smiled Man now standing in the dark entrance way to his bathroom. He swallows around the taste of blood in his mouth, hands shaking, useless as his list of contacts blur beneath the burn of tears. Eddie Eddie Eddie. He doesn’t know where the feeling comes from, but it’s sudden and sharp and excruciating. Eddie is the first name at the top of his list, his most recent calls and texts, and he doesn’t hesitate to hit the call button. [or buck can see ghosts au]

🔥All My Shattered Oaths by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampires AU | 107K | Explicit): Eddie wants to stay away from his family’s legacy and give his son a normal life. Buck’s desperate to find a way to get over the love he lost. Fate has other plans for both of them.

🔥 Further Than Blood (Or Than Bones) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampires AU | 50K | Explicit): Once, Eddie chose to save a newly turned against his better judgment. Five hundred years ago, Buck was saved by a rescuer he thought was a hallucination. Now they're together again and about to find out just how far either of them will go to try and deny what they are to each other.

🔥 let it pour out of your soul series by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Magical Realism AU, Witch Eddie | 3 works | 71K | Complete):

collectively unconsciously composed (S4E6: Jinx | 46K | Explicit): Or: in which the author re-watched Buck Begins and Jinx and thought: what if this was gayer and had actual magic?

that systematic drug (PWP | 5K | Explicit): Eddie’s mouth goes dry when he opens the door and sees Buck. He’s clean-shaven and with his hair carefully styled back, smiling at Eddie sweetly and a little teasingly. Buck is wearing his dark jeans and his light blue v-neck polo shirt, the one that’s tight enough that it shows off the bulge of his biceps and the definition of his pecs and abs. Eddie knows this shirt. Buck's favourite, because he knows he looks good in it.

something binding us together (Established Buddie | 20K | Teen): Or: Eddie plans a long-avoided visit to his parents, discovers some things about his magic, and begins to build his family a home in LA's witching community.

[rosielav]

Desperately need to find another currently ongoing podcast to listen to. I have nothing in my feed that releases new episodes except for MBMBAM and that's not nearly as exciting as I'd like it to be haha

PLEASE REC ME YOUR FAVORITE PODCASTS, PREFERABLY ONES STILL ONGOING OR WITH LOTS OF EPISODES!!!

Blease 😭😭😭😭

[xveenusx]

Wanted

Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader

Summary: in a world where someone had everything, she still got treated like she was nothing. all she wanted was to be wanted.

Authors note: I wanted this piece piece to be as real as possible. It's not simple, its messy. We've all gone back to that one person we know we shouldn't just because being alone seemed worse. Also she gets absolutely railed so that helps. So please be kind to her lmfao.

Rating: smut, 18+, mdni, ANGST

Song rec: making the bed by olivia rodrigo

Part 1: Guilty

Bored. 

I was so incredibly bored. I leaned against the built in bar as I watched Topper and Kelce take body shots off some tourists they invited. The loud bass of the music did little to tune out the annoying voice of Amy Culpo, who stood next to me, and rattled on about my mother’s latest line. 

“I mean, it’s absolutely stunning.” I know it is. I was there when she designed it. “Any chance you have tickets to her next show?”

Ah, there it was. The brutal truth he reminded me of all those months ago. Every interaction was a strategic move to climbing the next prong on the social ladder. Everyone always wanted something. 

I used to fight that notion. I thought I was better than them because I actually cared about other people. My wealth did not define me nor how I treated other people, but despite every effort I made both before and after him, I realized none of it mattered. 

I couldn’t escape my wealth. It was permanently engraved into my body and no matter how hard I tried to scrub, it wouldn’t go away. I’ve now fully embraced that ugly truth and decided that I might as well use it to my advantage. I almost always had something that others wanted and I just had to figure out what they were willing to give. I didn’t need any more money, but there were things that were far more valuable. Favors, tickets to the hottest openings, plane rides. Since everyone already saw me as a spoiled little rich girl, I might as well play the part. 

‘Depends. Are those last season MIU MIU?” I asked, tossing a look at the shoes on her feet. 

“There from the season before-“ I pulled a face at her words. Before last season? I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything last season let alone the season before. 

“Oh honey, if those are two seasons old, then I highly doubt you have anything I want.” The shocked look on her face dulled the aching pain that seemed to permanently reside in my chest. 

“I can charter a plane-“

I raised my hand to silence her. “You don’t have your own?” 

What was she even doing here? 

This was a new little project of mine. I tossed away all those societal niceties that did little for me in the end. I still couldn’t get anyone to stay. This was much more fun. You’d be surprised by how much stuff you could get away with if you cut out all the bullshit.

Amy’s cheeks flushed red and maybe once I’d have felt bad or be disgusted by how I was treating her but I was numb. I realized nothing really mattered. Whether I was nice or rude, people all wanted the same things from me. At least this way, I could armor myself. 

“There’s my pretty girl.” Warm hands curled around my waist, tugging me against a hard body. 

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't his anything, Rafe knew that but he’s always had a flare for the dramatics. Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir filled my nose as I swatted at his hands, hands that I’ve grown quite familiar with. 

“You left me.” I shot him a bratty look, one he met head on with a smile. Amy still stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat in an obvious attempt to gain my attention. 

I turned around in Rafe’s arms, debating my next move. Almost immediately his chin came to rest on the top of my head while his arms curled around my front.

My eyes shot one last distasteful look at her outfit, before tossing out my arm in the opposite direction. “Shoo.”

She huffed before stomping away but not before shooting me one final glare. A look that would have made me cry before, but now it simply dinged off the impenetrable armor I’ve suited myself with. 

“I was hoping it’d build character, but clearly that didn’t work.” I could hear the smile in his words as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head. 

“The entire conversation was dull. She didn’t even have a jet, plus her shoes were two seasons ago.” I shuddered in disgust. Could never be me.

Rafe clutched his chest in mock disgust,”Not two seasons.” 

I let out a huff, my chest going warm at the teasing glint in his eye.

There was no spark. There were no butterflies. Just familiarity and warmth. It was safe. We both knew what this was and expected nothing more. For now, we were just having fun. Despite the fact that I spent most nights at his place and rarely found myself without him.

I’ve found somewhat of a friend in Rafe. Someone to share the burden of being from a family like ours. He understood me. He enjoyed shiny things just as I did. 

We spent a lot of our time going to the mainland because the idea of running into him still sent me to my knees. This was a small island. One that he was spending all his time running around with her instead of me. Rafe never said a word about it, never mentioned his sister or her pogue friends. And for that, maybe I do love him a little.

“You make fun of me now, but you’d still be wearing polo shirts and plaid shorts if it weren’t for me.” My hands smooth down the front of his linen light blue shirt, the first several buttons open paired with some black Gucci slacks and a black belt from Dolce & Gabbana. He no longer looked like a frat douche but a member of upper class society. 

The same can’t be said about his friends.

“C’mon. Top and Kelce want us over there.” Rafe grasped my hand and tugged me in the direction of drunken yells. I pursed my lips but trudged behind him. The idea of being thrown up on was less than appealing, but being by myself was even less appealing.

“Hey guys.” Rafe nodded at them, taking a seat on the adjacent couch, a table with all sorts of drugs littered on it in between them. 

The pair of them were obliterated, both their pupils blown wide and their speech slurred. That didn’t stop them from tossing me a sloppy grin and shouting a greeting. 

The spot next to Rafe was vacant but on the other end was a couple gnawing each other's faces off that had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. He surely didn’t expect me to sit next to that?

He didn’t even bat an eye, instead Rafe patted his lap, tugging at my hand to sit down. “Wanna drink, baby?” 

I nodded, deciding to once again indulge. It was better than feeling that stabbing pain that burned in my chest. It was a horrible solution but one that Rafe always supported, in fact he often took part in self-destructing with me. We were done with trying to be perfect for parents who couldn’t give less of a fuck. 

A red solo cup with a familiar yellow concoction was waved in front of me. The pungent scent of tequila burned my nose and I shot him a secret smile. Rafe’s blue eyes narrowed in on me, glued on my smile before he shook his head in amusement. 

“That’s the kinda night we’re going for?” He asked, his hand slowly gripping my thigh. 

“Unless you don’t want to?” I sighed dramatically, pushing his dark blonde strands back from his face, something I knew he loved. 

“If I ever say no to that question, feel free to shoot me.” 

A giggle escaped my lips as I tapped my cup against his before bringing it to my lips, tilting my head back and zeroing it out. 

The tequila left a burning trail down my stomach that I welcomed. It meant I was one step closer to not feeling anything at all. 

“Another?” Rafe’s eyes pointed at my now empty cup and I nodded. 

Being responsible was so overrated. 

Lifting his hand up, almost immediately two younger boys, about 16, appear. Rafe pointed at me, muttering something before the pair nodded and took off.

I raised my eyebrow at him, confused. 

He just shrugged, leaning forward to touch the golden pendant that hung from my neck. “I promised them tickets to the Charleston basketball game if they did whatever I said.”

“Why?” 

“I was bored,” He hummed in response,”This is new, it’s pretty..” 

I smiled back at him, the very picture of nonchalance, before replying,”Thank you. You bought it for me.” 

His ocean eyes rested on me, the infatuation clear as day that had my stomach clenching. “Course I did. I have great taste.” 

Rafe gave me his card about two months ago, not that I needed it, but he enjoyed taking care of me and I didnt mind. Plus, whenever he made me mad, I made sure to run the bill up, hoping for some type of reaction but it only left him amused. 

Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the intense eye contact. Maybe the lines have blurred slightly. Clearing my throat to try and break the tension, I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Want to see what else you bought me?”

“Enlighten me.” 

I flashed him my freshly manicured nails, “What do you think?” 

Rafe caught my hand, a half smile painted on his face, and kissed it. “Is that passion pink?” 

“It’s actually bubblegum blush.” 

“Beautiful, baby. I love it.” His words burned into my chest. 

It was hard to describe. His approval had butterflies thrumming in my stomach. Maybe it was because we were stuck in similar situations, but his approval suddenly meant something to me. Being with him meant I wasn’t alone. 

“You know we’re right here, right?” Topper's voice cut through the tension and I let out a laugh, relieved to look away. 

“Fuck off.” Rafe laughed, regaining his composure as well. 

Topper leaned forward holding out a black AMEX for me to take. My eyes paused on the card before shooting him a flat look. 

“Are you kidding?” 

Topper gave me a blank look, not a thought behind those eyes. 

I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose up in mock outrage. “Rafe does it for me.” 

The annoyed look on Topper’s face sent a thrill through my body. He was the easiest to rile up and Rafe knew it as he hid his chuckle with a quick cough. 

The hand on my bare thigh slowly drew circles, the action almost unconscious, which had my brain blanking. It was a relief to not think. To not remember. To not feel. 

“Are your hands broken?” 

“No. I’m too pretty.” I shrugged, batting my lashes at him.

Topper openly scowled at me, his eyes dropping to where Rafe’s hands held me tightly. “What happened to the nice little girl who cried about everything?”

“Lay off.” Rafe snipped, leaning forward and snatching the AMEX out of his hand. His movements were quick and precise, with ease that only came with experience. 

He separated the coke into three lines, one for me and two for him, just like always. 

Bending over, I snorted the line quickly. Turning to hand Rafe the hundred dollar bill, his fingers dust off any remaining powder off my nose, before he bent over and did the same.

I leaned back into Rafe, the mixture of the tequila and the sting of the coke had me feeling sublime. It was a perfect balance. The alcohol got me warm and buzzed while the coke kept me awake and alert, an upper and a downer, a perfect description for every emotion in my body. 

“I grew up.” 

Topper hummed. “You certainly did.”

For the next hour, my mind never drifted to him. I enjoyed having thoughts that were my own, that didn’t revolve around him. Instead, my thoughts focused on the man below me. Rafe was always touching me. Even more so than usual, his hand never left my body once. If I let go of his hand to reach for my drink, he’s just moved it to my thigh. It was almost possessive which was odd, we didn’t do possessive. 

Every couple moments, he’d pause in the middle of a conversation to press small kisses anywhere his lips could reach. It seemed performative, but I just couldn’t prove it.

“You’re thinking too hard.” His hot breath hot against the shell of my ear. 

I said nothing for a moment before licking my lips and muttering,”Are you okay? You seem more clingy than usual?” 

He just nodded, pulling me to his hard chest, his eyes darting to the side. “I just like having you with me.”

The sentiment was sweet and my heart tugged at his words. But, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was missing something. “I like having you with me too.” I allowed myself to give him a sliver of vulnerability, something I’ve avoided like plague, because it was true. He made living just a bit easier.

My head began to spin as I felt the lines of our odd friendship begin to blur. I knew neither of us would admit the sudden shift but it was there. I could tell with each lingering gaze and those secret touches. Maybe there was something here. I just had to give in.

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” He responded, but once again his eyes are not on mine but darting around me. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” My voice comes out hushed, hoping it would get him to lower his voice. 

My smile from his previous confession dimmed. Nerves slowly began to surface as I tried to read between the lines.

“You do belong with me, at least that's what you scream every night, isn’t that right baby?” He was boasting, loud enough to have his boys give him lame-ass high fives. 

The small burst of happiness curdled like old milk in my stomach. I wasn’t a prude, not by a long shot, but I was a private person. Rafe knew this and he was still flaunting our private moments in a way that made me feel dirty. 

“Stop talking about me like that.” I said, “What’s gotten into you?” 

I felt Rafe go rigid under me. Frowning, I tilted my head back to make sure he was alright but his eyes were glued ahead. 

“Rafe, I’m here for my stuff. Where did you say you put it again?” 

My head turned and my stomach did a backflip. Sarah stood at the entrance of the room, looking immensely uncomfortable. 

John B stood behind her, his big brown puppy-like eyes widened at the sight of me on Rafe’s lap. Or maybe it was because of  the coke laid out in front of me? 

But wherever he was, JJ wasn’t far behind. John B whispered something in Sarah’s ear, her eyes jumped to me for a split second before returning to his. She nodded and John B made a beeline for the other room. 

I let out a choked laugh. I’m sure he was going to report back to his little lap dog. What were they even doing here in the first place? It’s not like Rafe knew-

My brain clicked into place. The constant need to touch me and the over the top PDA was because he was here. Rafe knew he was here and wanted to rub it in his face. 

Rafe’s words were never for me. They were for him.

None of this was real. Not the endearing names, not the proclamations of affection. An ice bucket of realization poured over me and I felt like a fool. A fool for thinking that somebody else could want me, could maybe even love me.

Fuck this. Fuck both of them. 

“You knew.” I accused, shoving his hands off of my body. 

Rafe said nothing, but the flicker in his eyes gave him away. I wasn’t safe with him either. Embarrassment oozed into me, the feeling painstakingly familiar. We agreed to never make each other feel this way since our parents did it enough, but he did it to me. 

Don’t think. Don’t feel. 

Snatching the cup out of his hand, I forced it down, gulp by gulp, wincing at the burn. Straight tequila. “Babe-“

“Shut up.” I hissed, moving off his lap and shoving Topper to move over. Everyone always wanted something from me. 

They never just wanted me.

Maybe I was defective. I had to be. 

JJ didn’t love me when I was me. When I cared about other people and sacrificed pieces of my happiness for them.

Rafe didn’t love me now. When I was a spoiled brat who treated everyone like a transaction. 

It didn’t matter if I was nice or a total raging bitch. Either way, I couldn't get anyone to love me.

I was just the stepping stone they used before they found the person they really wanted to be with. I was just there to make them feel good about themselves. For them to take and take just to toss me aside when they were done. Leaving me a shell of a person with no one, not even myself.

I guess, I was impossible to love.

“Line it up, Topper.”

“Can I at least get a please?”

“Be lucky that I’m even talking to you.”

Topper scoffed but did what I asked, lining up two lines of chalky white powder. “There you go, princess:” 

A rolled hundred dollar bill was held out in front of me. Plucking it out of his fingers. I bent over the table. Don’t think. Don’t feel. 

Dragging the cylinder bill down the crystal snow powder I’ve grown to love, I inhaled deeply. The chemicals flowing through the nose. I could practically feel the coke dissolving into my bloodstream, my body vibrating in response. 

Dropping the bill on the table, I tilt my head back, begging my brain to shut off. I closed my eyes and chose to focus on the beat of the music that had my heart thrumming in my chest.

Then it happened.

All the air in the room was sucked up. The hair behind my neck stood up and my body suddenly awakened in a way it hadn’t in months. 

My body recognized him before my brain did. The moment I opened my eyes, his eyes clashed with mine.

JJ.

It was like seeing him for the first time, a memory I thought I would never get the chance to feel again. 

Heavy set blonde brows framed his bright blue eyes beautifully, the strong cut jaw that was currently clenched, and his lips soft and pouty, tightly pressed in a flat line. This face, his beautiful face, wouldn’t be complete without some mark. A bruise, a soft purple and yellow hue, decorated his cheek bone. His bottom lip busted. 

He was so beautiful. 

My body reacted before my brain could follow. I stood up quickly, too quickly that the blood rushed to my head and the room seemed to spin. 

God, he was beautiful. And I fucking hated him for it. He was supposed to be like me, a complete and total mess, but instead, he looked the same, even better actually. 

That thought alone had me ready to jump off the balcony.

My movements were clumsy and I drunkenly stumbled while standing still, his eyes clocking that in seconds. 

Despite the loud music, I noticed the silence coming from the couch. 

My eyes jumped to Rafe. All the laughter around us died off and everyone was exchanging nervous looks. It didn’t take a genius to read the room and the situation I’ve somehow managed to put myself in. 

Blue eyes flickered between the two of us. It cracked my chest open wide and opened the floodgates I’ve been trying so hard to keep closed. 

The crushing inescapable weight of shame hit me first. I was plastered, obviously so, and high as a kite. The evidence of what I’d been doing displayed out in front of me like a flashing sign. And I was fucking the one guy he hated. 

It was unreasonable, I know. He left me and even pushed me in the direction of the one guy he hated and yet, I was the one feeling bad. He hasn’t even opened his mouth yet and it’s been turned onto me. But love never makes sense. It made the most sane people lose every coherent thought, I was the prime example.

“You should probably go, bro.” Rafe said, his tone was anything but. 

He moved from his spot on the couch and stopped beside me. Rafe shoved a hand in one pocket while the other reached for mine, but I folded my arms across my chest. Mostly because I was mad at him, but a part of me didn’t want JJ seeing that. 

JJ didn’t spare him a second glance.

He had on a dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with black cargos and chunky black boots on his feet. A backwards red hat settled nicely on the blonde mass of wavy hair and his shark necklace hanging against the exposed part of his chest. 

It was so JJ. All of it, right down to the colorful bracelets that littered his wrists. 

A hand grasped my chin and tilted up. I held my breath. His fingers slid along my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over the skin. His eyes felt like lasers, honing in on every detail of my face. 

I swallowed audibly. JJ leaned in closer, bringing his height down to mine. His thumb brushed a soft stroke below my nose while his lips brushed against my ear. 

“You had a little something on your nose.” 

JJ let go of my face, his expression hard. Then he brushed past me, leaving a gaping wound in his wake. 

Tears burned behind my closed eyes. He didn’t need to say it because I already knew what he was thinking. Sure, JJ smoked some weed but he never touched any of the hard stuff, not wanting to pick up the same habits as his dad. Hard drugs were a hard limit for him and he found me snorting several lines of it. 

I went and became the very thing he hated, just like he wanted. It didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Instead, I felt like I lost another piece of myself. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Rafe, finally gathering the courage to open my eyes. 

He shuffled beside me. “Him being here wasn’t going to change anything.”

We both knew that was a lie.

“It’s him, Rafe. It changes everything for me.” 

Rafe scoffed and shook his head. “You’re really going to try and go back to that?”

“I’m not saying that-” I spluttered out, outraged as his voice continued to carry across the room. 

“He didn’t want you.” 

People around us began to whisper, their heads huddled together with their phones out. Wet hot tears threatened to fall as the control I took months to master began to unravel. 

“Yeah, well you don’t either.” 

“What the hell are you talking about? Before he got here, everything was perfect.”

“I’m not stupid. You think I didn’t notice what you were doing? That wasn’t for us, that was for him.”

“I didn't mean for you to think I was using you-“

I gripped his chin, and pulled his face down to my height, my eyes brimming with angry tears. “You don’t use me. I use you.” I shoved his face back, needing to collect my composure. 

Everyone’s eyes were on us and I was desperate to save face. It was the only thing I had left. 

“Get the fucking picture?”

“Crystal clear.” He responded through gritted teeth, his eyes hard. 

“If you want a whore, go buy one.” 

Rafe cleared his throat, his face iced over. “I thought that’s what I was already doing.”

I stood there for a moment, not understanding what I did to deserve to be treated like this by not one man but two. I felt like an idiot. Like the stupidest fucking person on this god forsaken planet. 

Two hours ago, I thought that maybe Rafe had feelings for me and played with the idea of exploring that with him. And now, I was a gold digging whore. 

I felt another piece of my heart break off, mourning the loss of the only friendship I really had.

Pressing my hair down with my hands, I look down to fix my dress, swallowing as I went, hoping to pull myself together and buy some time. 

“I’m glad to hear how little you think of me.” I sent him a sad smile,” I guess I’m keeping up with everyone’s expectations.” 

I stepped around him, heading to the direction of the bar, the adrenaline from all the excitement having effectively killed my buzz. 

Staring at the bottles of liquor on the counter had me frowning, all being some bottom shelf brand I’ve never heard of. I moved around the bar to the cabinets behind it, looking for the good tequila. It was the least Rafe could do seeing as though he just blew up whatever the fuck we were doing. 

Spotting the only tequila I drank, I grabbed the entire handle. Twisting the top off, I tossed it aside carelessly before taking a healthy swig. Then another. And another. 

I stumbled into another room, shoving people out of my way. I ignored the angry shouts because I was way past the point of caring. I just-I just wanted to see him.

As if someone heard my thoughts, I spotted JJ leaning against a wall with a lit joint dangled between his fingers and a beer in the other. 

He had so much charisma, it demanded the attention of the room. People gravitated towards him all the time but he refused to see himself that way. 

Even now, he stood surrounded by several people, including a girl who was too close for my liking, and they were hanging onto every word. All of their bodies angled towards him, nodding along. The people around them curiously moving in to hear more of the story that had so many of them laughing. 

It was almost ironic. It was the point I was trying to prove all those months ago. Kooks vs. Pouges was bullshit. Because, right now JJ is telling a story to a bunch of Kooks who were eating it right up. Neither parties cared about their status, they just wanted to socialize and have fun. 

Why couldn’t he see that? 

The organ in my chest began to flutter, the butterflies erupting in my stomach at his nearness. Panic began to set in. I thought I’d pushed it all down. 

All it took was seeing him. Just once. For the last couple months of progress to be thrown out the window. I made sure to not feel anything anymore, because the alternative destroyed me. And yet, there he stood, looking like every dream I’ve ever had, and completely disarming my very being with one look. 

I never wanted to feel that way again. My heart was open and my soul was bared, but I was naive. I thought love was supposed to be empowering. But really, it was poison. It slowly entered your bloodstream, coating every vein before slowly taking over every organ. It leaked into your brain and made you lose all common sense. The poison tricked you into thinking that certain treatment was okay because at least they were here. At least, they still wanted to be with you because they love you, right? 

But eventually, like all things lacking an antidote, it began to cut off your oxygen. It curled around your lungs and squeezed until you gasped for breath with tears staining your face. It didn’t matter how much you screamed and shouted, nothing came out. The last organ it takes over is your heart. That silly little organ who was so trusting begins to pump faster, desperately trying to get that oxygen to your brain, because maybe then you’ll finally be able to think clearly. But in the end, it slows down. Each pump is slower than the last until finally it comes to a stop. The heart broke. 

It’s the closest thing to dying I’ve ever experienced.

It was like drowning on dry land.

His words did not leave me dented, but destroyed. 

I lost my sense of myself. I lost my identity. I put on a performance every time I left my house, wanting to see just how far I could get away with treating people the same way they treat me. 

At first it didn’t feel good, but now I didn’t feel anything at all. Or so I thought until I saw him again. And I just want to see that he was doing okay and maybe, if I can admit it, to see if he still loved me, however little that may be.

I watched from my spot on the other side of the room as the crowd began to disperse, leaving JJ with some blonde. I vaguely recognized her from a shoot for one of my mom’s brands. I believe her parents worked in the fashion industry as well. Which would have been fine, had she not said something that had him give her one of those rare smiles, the ones he used to give me in private. 

Nausea roiled in my stomach, maybe it was all the tequila or maybe it was seeing him smile at someone else when all I wanted was for him to smile at me. 

She leaned into him, a coy smile played her lips, running her fingers down the shirt I bought him, which basically made it mine. And I hated when people touched my things.

The mix of tequila and coke emboldened me. I found my feet moving in their direction before I could stop myself. 

“I wouldn't waste your time.” I could not get myself to stop talking.

“Why’s that?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, her cheaply manicured hand resting on JJ’s bicep.

“JJ doesn’t go for kooks or so I’ve been told.” 

“Maybe he just didn’t go for you.” Oh, how cute. 

“Oh honey,” I sighed dramatically and took one step towards her, tilting my head to the side, dragging my eyes up her body, in obvious distaste. “Are you new here?”

“Well, yeah but-“ She tried to explain. 

Clearly, she needed a run through on how the social ladder worked here. I was at the top and everyone else was at the bottom. 

“Your mom works for some brand from Paris right?” I watched as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. 

“She does. We moved here because she’s doing a collab with-“

“With my mom.” 

“So I suggest you take your hand off of him,” I smiled on cue, my tone dipped in sugar before batting my eyelashes at her innocently,” Unless you want her blacklisted?” 

I could see her debating what to do. She didn’t know if I was bluffing but she'd learn rather quickly just how far I was willing to go. 

“Hmm, cute shoes.” I hummed, “Chanel?” 

She nodded, apprehension on her face. 

“Won’t be able to buy those anymore if your mom doesn’t have a job.” 

Her hand fell and satisfaction settled into my like molten lava. “You can go now.” 

The blonde pursed her lips and stalked off, leaving me alone with JJ. “Trying a new type”

“And what type would that be?”

“Desperate.”

JJ tipped his mouth, saluting me before taking a sip of his drink. His eyes already glazed over from the joint in his hand. 

“A thank you would be nice?” I muttered, taking another pull from my tequila. I couldn’t talk to him sober or I’d lose my nerve.

“A thank you?” He appeared almost amused, adjusting his red hat. 

“Yeah, I just saved you.”

“I didn't realize I needed saving.” 

“Self-preservation was never really your strong suit was it?” 

JJ laughed, his eyes straying to the bottle cradled in my arms. “I could say the same thing, Princess.” 

Fuck him for calling me that. So what, I’ve learned to indulge just a little. It made everything in my life a little more manageable. 

“It’s called having fun, JJ.” Pouting as he snatched the bottle from arms just as I went to take another shot. “Since when did you become the responsible one?”

JJ leveled me with an unamused stare. 

I huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of my face. “Tough crowd.”

JJ snorted, pushing the leaves of a nearby plant back before dumping the remaining tequila. My mouth dropped open as he wasted every last drop of my liquid courage. 

How the hell was I going to talk to him now? 

I pursed my lips, “That was mean.”

“I’m doing what your boyfriend should have done an hour ago.” His gaze fixed on my face, the intense stare causing my cheeks to turn red. God, would he stop staring at me?

“He doesn’t tell me what to do.”

“Then he shouldn’t have left you alone.” His tone laced with annoyance, “You have all these fuckers staring at you and you’re wasted.”

I tilted my head back to stare up at him, the annoyance I knew came from a place of panic. That was just how JJ was wired. 

“So you’re in love with me?” Someone come arrest me, because I cannot keep my mouth closed.

JJ shook his head clearly fighting back a smile. “You’re so crazy.” 

“What else could that mean?” I asked truthfully and I knew I had a love struck smile on my face. One that I’ve only given to one man in my life and he stood in front of me.

I just wanted to be near him. I wanted to hear his laugh and see him smile.

His face softened at my words. “Are you okay? Does he take care of you?”

“Of course, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

“Only one of us is fucking loaded.” 

I rolled my eyes and plucked the joint from his fingers. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and we both know I rarely am, are you not high too?” 

“Not from cocaine.”

“Already back to judging so soon?” I mused, taking a hit off the joint, the familiar stinging sensation wrapped around my lungs and squeezed. “Careful, I might think you care.”

Kill me now. Thank god, he took away the tequila.

“Who said I ever stopped?” My heart lurched in my throat.

I blew the smoke out slowly, my fogged up brain rushing to keep up with his words. 

Someone stumbled in front of me, slamming into my shoulder sending me flying forward into JJ’s arms. Something cold and wet splattered onto me, the bitter liquid dripping down my legs.

“Are you blind?” I shouted, shoving another drunk party goer off me. Looked like a tourist. 

She held her hands up in apology.

“I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” To my absolute horror, this fucking tourist used a napkin and went to scrub the stain. Are these people animals? This was custom versace.

“Stop!” My cheeks flushed, from the weed or from my constant streak of bad luck. “Clearly, you’ve never owned anything worth keeping but this is Versace, you dick.”

I needed to go home before I burned this entire house down. 

“Is that how you talk to people now?”

I let out a loud groan. “Oh fuck off, JJ.”

I shoved him away from me, before grabbing the skirt of my dress and heading into the nearest bathroom, which just so happened to be Rafe’s. 

In reality, I just needed to get away from him. I needed my hands to be busy so that I couldn't grab his face and kiss him. Because I really wanted to do that. 

The sound of footsteps have my eyes widening in panic as I take in my ruined dress. All because of that blonde asshole next to me, if he hadn’t showed up, I’d still have my tequila and my sanity.

“I wanted to talk.”

I made a noise at the back of my throat. That didn’t sound like JJ at all.

“Fine, whatever. Close the door.” I didn’t need a million other people to see me lose my shit. I was already at my quota for the day. 

Jj stared at me with a confused look. “Close the door.” I nearly shout as the footsteps get closer but he moves just as quickly and slammed it shut, putting the lock in place.

“I just got this piece too.” I grumbled, huffing at the stained skirt. It was the Medusa 95’ Cut Out Mini dress in a stunning pastel pink. And now ruined with a beer stain from that horrible girl outside. 

“I remember this one.” JJ spoke from behind me. Of course he did. He remembered everything I bought. 

He always demanded fashion shows after all my shopping trips. He knew nothing about clothes but he always paid attention to me. He used to sit for hours while I prattled on and on about clothes.

“Unzip me?” 

“I’m sorry?” He choked out, setting his beer down.

“I need to clean it before it stains. Unzip me.” 

In hindsight, I was goading him. I wanted to see what he would do. I could tell he was already on edge since seeing me with Rafe. I wondered what a little push would do.

Neither of us moved for a beat. JJ puffed out a breath from his cheeks before he walked toward me slowly. I remained stock still, watching his every move in the mirror.  “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.” 

My heart fluttered at his nearness. Something I wanted since the minute he turned around and left. Home, I wanted my home back.

I jumped up at the feel of his warm breath against the back of my neck, goosebumps rising instantly. The tug of the zipper had me swallowing the lump in my throat. His other finger caressing every inch of skin, the zipper surrendered. 

The sound of the zipper stopped but he never dropped his hand. Instead, I watched as JJ swallowed before lifting his head, those storming blue eyes connecting with mine in the mirror. 

I stood on my Magda Butrym Appliquéd satin sandals and a flimsy pair of tiny panties. 

“I feel like this is a test.” I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“Is it?” I mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. 

“Yeah and I’m failing.” 

The pads of his thumb brushed along my bottom lip, dragging it down slowly. My lips parted as a soft whimper escaped. 

“You’re still so beautiful, it hurts.” He murmured, almost angry with the revelation. 

Blistering hot satisfaction dripped over me. 

JJ’s other hand grazed my bare back, the contact immediately chasing my back to arch. Sparks of sensitivity erupted from my skin as my body trembled with hot desire. 

His hand moved higher, gripping onto my hair before wrapping the long strands around his hand, tugging my head back, demanding my attention. 

He stared at me with heavy lids, eyes like ocean blue blades. My body began to heat up. 

JJ’s eyes dropped back to my lips causing me to the lick them quickly. He backed me up against the Jack and Jill sink, my back resting against the cool granite counter. 

I blinked slowly, making the decision for him, angling my head up and smashing my lips to his. 

A groan ripped from his chest as he met my kiss with the same crippling desperation. His rough hands dropped from my face to my hips, his nails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin. 

My legs began to slightly shake as his tongue finally brushed against mine. Oxygen was something neither of us needed as we fed off each other's energy. 

His tongue licked and twirled around my own, another moan vibrating between us. JJ’s large hand trailed up skin, goosebumps appearing in its wake, before locking around my throat. 

His grip was strong, not enough to cut off my oxygen but enough to garner my attention. He pulled me up to my tippy toes by my neck, my nipples brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt making me gasp at the contact. His mouth clashed with mine once more, his lips wrapped around my tongue, sucking gently before pulling back and biting out a curse. 

My hands were desperate as they began to unbutton his shirt quickly, pushing the fabric off his shoulders. JJ whipped off the shirt just as my hands began reaching for his shorts, my fingers fumbling with the button. 

The laugh he let out was devastating. His smile was purely lethal for my heart. “We got all the time in the world, princess.” 

My stomach clenched at the nickname he gave me all those years ago. But, we didn’t. We both knew this moment would end the minute we came to our senses. 

JJ unbuttoned his pants and dropped them in one smooth movement before pressing his warm body against mine once more.

“Up, baby.” My arms wrapped around his neck immediately, my nose grazing his. JJ gripped my thighs tight as he placed me on top of the counter. 

He rested the palm of his hands on either side of me, enclosing my frame, daring me to move. JJ leaned down, his lips leaving phantom kisses along my collarbone, nipping as he went along. He stopped at the swell of my breasts, both hands encasing my heavy aching breasts before pressing them together. 

He pressed scorching hot, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed skin. His tongue pressing against my swollen nipples before closing around one and giving a strong suck. I was a mess beneath him, my chest heaving with heavy pants. 

He nipped and tugged at the soft flesh of my breasts, leaving small purple love bites scattered on my chest. He pressed a kiss on each one, a pleased hum echoing within the bathroom. 

JJ dropped to his knees slowly, each hand running down my bare legs. I wanted to see him. 

I leaned back on the palm of my hands and arched my back in a teasing invitation. Pulling my legs from his grasp, I propped my feet up on the counter, but kept my knees bent, the tops touching.

The utter obsession that painted his face had me biting down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Jayj.”

He stood stock still, similar to a statue. It looked like he almost stopped breathing as I slowly pushed my knees apart. I was drenched, I could feel myself soaking the skimpy fabric of my thong, my thighs glistening with the evidence of my arousal. 

JJ’s eyes went black, locking in on my wet pussy before jumping back up to me. His hands found my thighs and roughly dug into the skin to keep my legs from closing. 

He leaned forward, his index finger hooking the front of my thong before curling the fabric and tugging it up roughly between my lips. “Fuck.” I mewled, watching as he pressed his face between my legs and inhaled deeply. 

I could feel my clit throbbing, needing to be touched. With one more tug, JJ slaps the side of my thigh, having me lift my hips up to take the last piece of fabric off my body. An insatiable grin formed on his face that went straight to my clit.

The first touch onto my lips had my hips shooting off the counter, his touch like electricity. He blew a breath against the aching skin, his hot mouth watering at the sight of me. Two fingers pushed apart my drenched folds, rubbing against the sensitive skin again and again, turning me into a mindless puddle. 

He smirked at my trembling legs. “You okay, baby?”

“Fuck off.” I responded through gritted teeth, trying to gather myself. 

He dipped forward, gathering saliva before slowly spitting it out, the stream of spit pattering against my spread lips. The sound was obscene. 

“That’s not very nice.” 

Tears of frustration began to build up as I discarded my hands into those loose blonde strands, knocking his hat off. “You love it.”

The grin he sent me was feral and I knew this was exactly what I needed. “I sure do, princess.”

He enclosed his mouth against my swollen clit and sucked roughly, a loud shout erupting from the depths of my chest. JJ parted my lips again, forcing his tongue inside and out, again and again, devouring every inch of my pussy. 

My cunt clenched against his tongue making him moan loudly. My body was burning as he swirled his tongue along the bundle of nerves once more. Another cry left me as I tried to find something to grab onto. His tongue lapped up all the fluids that continued to come out and I found myself forgetting how to breathe. 

I pushed his face deeper, grinding against his nose that continuously rubbed against my clit, my fingers tugging at his hair, needing a release. The knot in my lower stomach began to tighten as I whispered his name again and again like a prayer. The sound of my breathy pleas spur him on as he slipped two fingers in my pussy, meeting no resistance. 

The squelching noises had me throwing my head back against the mirror which had begun to fog up. I clenched around his large fingers that rubbed against my sensitive walls wanting him to lose control. 

JJ curled his fingers upward causing my knees to buckle and my mind go blank. I was close and he knew based on the tremors the shook my legs. I could barely hold myself up as everything went fuzzy. 

A choked moan escaped my lips that curled into a ‘o’ as his mouth sucked that rigid spot of flesh while his fingers continued to hammer into me. The invisible band snapped and as a wave of pleasure washed over me. My body finally began to relax as I tried to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically. 

I spared a glance at him. JJ’s eyes were low, eyes pitch black and glued to my face, and his cheeks flushed red. He looked pussy drunk. 

“Looks like I have to clean you up.” He mumbled against the flesh of my thighs. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as his hot tongue began to catch all the arousal that dripped down my thighs. I was sensitive and tried to move back, but his hands locked around my thighs to keep them open. Shives forced their way up my spine as he lapped all my fluids up, humming as he went along, not leaving one bit of skin untouched. JJ pressed one last kiss before pulling back and licking his lips.

My heart hammered through my chest and vaguely though my haze of pleasure did I hear a murmur.

“Huh?” I felt him smile against my thigh, clearly finding my delirious state funny.

“Barry, man, have you seen her?” Rafe’s voice drifted under the door. 

I froze at the sound of his voice, my eyes darting to JJ who just smirked from his spot between my legs. 

“She’s right here, man.” JJ whispered, straightening up to press a kiss on the crown of my head. I shook my head at him, my eyes wide with a silent plea, but JJ disregarded it. 

 “She’s a little busy at the moment.” 

I shook my head, pressing my palm against his mouth, his next words coming out muffled. He never knew when to shut up. The last thing I needed was Rafe finding us in his bathroom.

I kept my hand on JJ’s mouth until footsteps faded and we were alone once again. 

JJ nipped at the palm of my hands, his tongue slipping out. My face screwed up as I let out a squeal, “Ew, Jayj.” 

“Shouldn’t have tried to shut me up to protect your boyfriend’s feelings.” He said the words lightly, but I could hear the slight edge in his tone. 

Pushing him off my softly, I hopped off the counter with shaky legs. “Since when do you care about Rafe’s feelings?”

I winced as I tried to take a step, my knees nearly knocking together from the aftershock. JJ always left me a shaking disheveled mess afterwards, but I felt lighter, because he was looking at me the way he used to. 

And, I wanted that to last just a bit longer. 

“I don’t care about his feelings-“ He scoffed, before pausing at the teasing smile on my lips. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Too easy.” I let out a shriek of laughter as JJ's arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.

That was how I found myself sweaty, pressed against Rafe’s sheets, struggling to breathe. The violent sound of skin slapping echoing in the room, my raspy moans intertwining with his hot pants. 

One of JJ’s hands gripped the back of my head, pinning me to the mattress, the other pushing down on my back, forming a deep arch, to pull his cock in deeper. 

I couldn’t register anything he was muttering as he bottomed out since of me, my mind go blank. My walls spasmed against him with each rut of his hip, sucking him back in every time he pulled back. 

I was soaked, my pussy dripping around him. The sopping wet noises spurring him on, his pace quickening with those deep purposeful strokes. 

I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The smell; the feel of him. The way his cock continued to brush against my cervix made me borderline delicious. 

“Fuck,” JJ shuddered, rolling his hips in and out of my pussy had me clamping around him once more, a tidal wave beginning to build up inside me. 

 I whimper left me, the coil in my stomach pulling tight as I searched for a release. The tip of his cock pressed into me repeatedly, forcing my legs to shake once more. 

My hands searched for something to hold onto as I tried to anchor myself from being drowned in pleasure. “J. J, I-I cant-I’m gonna-“

I felt his pace begin to pick him, his cock twitching inside me as he continued his movements, grinding his hips against the globes of my ass, until there was no space between us. 

It was like he was imprinting himself into my skin. Like he didn’t want me to forget him. 

As if I could ever forget JJ Maybank. 

My whines got louder, his words becoming more and more depraved. His large calloused hands ran all over my body like he was etching it to memory. 

Quick and quiet gasps bled from my parted lips, as he hammered into me from behind, his hands lacing with mine against the sheets. 

The coil in my stomach snapped, white flash blinding my vision, this orgasim more intense than the first. I could feel myself coating his hips and upper thighs, fluids dripping on the sheets. 

I could hear JJ’s voice whine, he began to babble nonsense under his breath, with each languid thrust. 

My heartbeat was in my ears as I pushed my hips back to match his thrusts, wanting him to finish despite all my sensitivity coming to head. His nails dug my hips, my cunt suffocating as he continued to grunt his cock into me. 

“Fuck, Kiara.” His grunt echoed in the room.

Kiara? 

I went numb. I couldn’t breathe-I couldn’t, I needed-

Bile coated my throat as whatever childish hope I had shriveled up in my chest. So I laid there, not knowing what to do, as JJ continued to pump in and out of me, but the soft intimacy we shared before dissipated. 

Why did no one ever pick me? Why didn’t anyone want me? 

I let my body go limp even though everything in me wanted to shove him off, but I just couldn’t get myself to move.

That was all it took for JJ to realize the slip of his tongue. JJ froze behind me as I shoved my face into my arms and choked on a gut wrenching sob. 

“Fuck, I-hold on,” JJ’s panick was audible as he slowly pulled out of me. I cupped my mouth to try and muffle the scream I wanted to let out. 

His blue eyes widened in horror at his mistake but it was too late. The words were already burned into my mind, replaying on a torturous loop.

JJ’s hand reached out for me, but I shrank back, scrambling to the headboard, desperate to put distance between us. 

I curled into myself, pressing my back hard against the headboard, willing for myself to disappear. 

“What did you just call me?” My chin wobbled. I tried to remind myself to breathe but with each inhale, my lungs were saturated with pain. 

“I-That was an accident.” He stuttered, raking his hands through his hair roughly.

“Get out.” 

“It just slipped out, I didn’t mean it.” 

“Get the hell out, JJ.” I yelled, and pointed at the door with a shaky finger. 

Like I said, his words never dented me, no they completely destroyed me. They cut me like a freshly honed razor blade.

And I was going to die of blood loss if I didn’t get him to leave this room. He had no problem leaving me then, why was he fighting it now?

Was he thinking about her the whole time he was inside me? 

Thought after thought haunted me. Was he comparing our bodies? Was he comparing the sex? 

Mortification had my stomach churning as I debated what to do next. My body was wound tight, on the verge of hyperventilating. 

Did he love her? Did he love her like he used to love me? Did he fuck her the way he fucked me?

I hated him. Before him, none of these thoughts would have crossed my mind. I may have been alone but at least I liked who I was. I never would have questioned myself the way I am now. But after him, the only thing I hated more than him was myself.

“Was Kiara not available,” I murmured, “so you came to the one person you knew would say yes?”

JJ didn’t find my joke funny. The air was tense, as if we were trapped in a steamed up bathroom, making each breath harder than the last.

“Kie and I aren’t together.”

“JJ, you know where the door is. Use it.” 

“I don’t want to leave.” He shook his head, his eyes flickering with something heavy. 

“You had no problem doing it before.”

“That was-“ JJ squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He shuffled closer to my body, but still wasn't touching me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks hastily. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. “I am so so sorry.”

I lost my grip completely as those eyes perverted mine. His eyes were so blue, it was easy to get lost in them. 

Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth. With wary eyes, I watched as he stood up and disappeared in the bathroom before appearing again with his shirt. 

JJ reached for me before pausing, his eyes asking a silent question. I nodded, forcing myself to loosen the grip I had on the sheets. 

I let him put the shirt on me, its protection better than the flimsy sheet. JJ dropped his head on my chest, his tan arms wrapped around my waist, curling himself into me. 

“I’m sorry.” 

I was sorry too. I waited for months for him to be back in my arms, but he ruined every independent thought I had. I couldn’t stop the overthinking. I couldn’t stop the pain.

I was hurting too, but I was the one comforting him. I was always the one comforting him. What about me?

I laid on the soft sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Our heavy breathing echoing in an otherwise silent room. His heavy arm tossed over naked torso, his fingers softly tracing the curve. The whisper of his breath caressing the nape of my neck where his face was buried. The familiar tickle of his golden strands brushing against my nose, his coconut shampoo wafting my senses.

The JJ induced haze began to clear up and the ugliness began to set in. 

A single tear escaped my eye, its trailing burning it’s way down the side of my face. I loved him. Even after he willingly abandoned me. After he humiliated me in front of everyone. After he called me her name.

I couldn’t cut him out. It didn’t matter what he did to me, the minute we’re within the same vicinity, my self preservation disappeared. Then I was left, treading water in the middle of a storm, with nothing but a life jacket. 

I had no one to blame but myself in this situation. I knew how he spoke to me, how easily he left me, how embarrassed he was of me. But he just smiled and it was like everything melted away. 

I so badly wanted to feel again, but not like this.

So all I can do is lay here. In this bed. With a boy who made me hate the kind person that I was. 

I made my bed. I didn’t realize this was how I’d feel when I lied in it. I turned into someone I hated. And suddenly I was bone-tired, exhaustion suffocating my lungs. I had no idea who I was and I was tired of being someone I wasn’t. 

“Where are my clothes?” I said. God, I needed to leave this room before Rafe found me. 

“I wasn’t really focused on that part, babe.” JJ mumbled, burrowing himself deeper into my side. 

My stomach lurched. I thought I’d feel different. I thought that maybe this would fix everything. That in some deluded way, we would get back together and everything else didn’t matter. Like he didn’t leave me standing at the party after stomping on my chest.

“I need them.” I mumbled. I choked down the need to throw up. The feel of our sweat coating my body and his soft breaths against my skin had me almost hyperventilating. 

Home, he used to be home. But, I’ve never felt like more of a stranger than in his arms right now. This was no longer my home. 

Kook pussy. Daddy issues.

I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up. 

This only made me feel worse. I was good enough to fuck, but not enough to stay. 

“What are you in such a hurry for?” His fingers paused their persistent movement. 

“I have to get back-“

“To who?” JJ snapped. 

I moved to sit up, dragging the sheet with me as I avoided his gaze. “You know who.”

He didn’t need to know that Rafe and I basically ended. I just wanted him to hurt in the same way I did.

He let out a scoff. “You can’t be serious?” 

“Dead serious.” 

“This isn’t like you-“

“You left. You don’t know who I am anymore.” 

“Clearly,” he chuckled under his breath, “But suddenly Rafe does?”

I shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“I don’t give a fuck who he is-“

I tuned him out. I was too busy trying to get his actual voice out of my head. 

Kiara. Not me. Kiara. Not me. 

It had taken every bit of strength to not chase after him that day. To not call and text, begging for him to give me the time of day. And I know, I know I should be stronger. I know I should have said good riddance and moved on, but love was never simple. 

When I saw him tonight, I thought that maybe it was fate. So all the waiting, all the practice of self control paid off because he came back. But, was this what was waiting for me?

“You slept with me,” I said, “ but you’re thinking about her?”

I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask it. It was just one of a million questions I had since the day he walked away. Was there something I could have done differently?

I was wracking my brain to see where I had gone wrong, but maybe I just fell in love with the wrong person.

“From what I hear, you don’t care about anything these days. Why would you care about this?” I couldn’t detect any emotion in his words, just cold hard facts. 

I really was out here exceeding everyone’s expectations of me. 

But, he had to know that when it came to him, I always cared too much. That’s why his words caused another jagged piece of my heart to puncture my chest.

“Why would I care?” I whispered, shaking my head at him. “Are you listening to yourself?” 

Had I deluded myself so much into thinking we experienced the same love in our relationship? How could he even question that. Everything I did was always for him.

“I care about you, that never changed.”

Something pained flickered through his gaze. “Care about me? Yet your fucking Rafe Cameron.” 

“You’re mad about that?” I choked on a humorless laugh,”Let me jog your memory real quick since apparently you’ve got amnesia, you were the one that told me to be with him.” 

“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually do that to me.”

I threw my arms up in the air, exasperated,”Then why say it at all? Wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. You’re the king of saying shit you don’t mean.” 

“Saying shit and actually doing it are two different things.”

“Well, you did do it Jayj.” My lungs hitched. 

His jaw tightened, tension seeping out of him in waves. 

“You left. You did the one thing you promised you’d never do. You didn’t even look back as you did it.” I shouted, tears blurring my vision as my body continued to shake from adrenaline. “All because what? Rafe hurt your feelings? Because I have more money than you?”

I wanted to understand him. I thought I did once, but the more I thought about our breakup the more I saw it had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with him.

“Do me a favor and grow up. This is the real world. You’d swap places with any one of us in a second if you could.” 

JJ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want any part of your world. I thought I made that clear.”

“I’m aware. But I was there, remember? For every bonfire, for every boat ride with you and your friends. What was it you guys said again?” It rushed out of me, “to going full kook?”

He watched me stoically, his fingers tugging at his bracelets. 

“I guess you’re the only one that can have the money in the relationship?” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to respond. 

The beautiful blonde boy that seeped into my bloodstream and made me love him. But, ruined us in the process. He destroyed everything he touched. 

He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes, 

“What happened?”

“You want to know what happened? You fucking happened.”

That familiar anger flared in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was going to do. What he always did to me, but this time, I wasn’t going to let him erase me. Not again.

“Let’s talk about who you turned into?” JJ spat vehemently. “What? Rafe buys you a nice purse and you’re suddenly snorting lines of coke?” 

“It was actually a couple purses.” 

JJ shot daggers at me. “So what? You’re proud of that?” No, I only wanted someone to care about me if I died.

“I’m only doing what you told me, I’m sorry you don’t like the person you turned me into.”

I didn’t like her much either. But, JJ never gave me more and I realized he would never give me more, no matter how much I pushed. No matter how hard I tried to get him to see that I was the one he should be with. 

It pained me that it took all of this for me to realize that there were parts of JJ he would never let anyone have. 

“Why are you still here?” I said quietly. “I’m not going to let you sit here and make me feel like shit for how I chose to cope with what you broke.” 

I was done giving the men in my life power over me. I needed to stand on my own two feet even if that meant I had to do it alone. 

“Feel like shit?” JJ nodded his head with mock outrage,” Princess, you just let me fuck you in your boyfriend’s bed. I think you feel like shit already.” 

He was right, but I still recoiled back at the venom he spat at me. I sagged with exhaustion. He was just lashing out the way he always did.

“I didn’t know, JJ.” My voice cracked. “I-I didn’t know. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.”

JJ’s head snapped up at the waver in my voice. His ocean eyes showed a clear battle, one I knew he’d lose. “S-Sometimes it just felt like I wasn’t good enough.”

His confession broke me. I knew the thoughts that ravaged his brain only because those same thoughts now drown in mine.  

My fingers twisted the hem of the shirt that my body was swimming in, a nervous tic I never got rid of. “But I never said that to you, you listened to everyone but me. You were more than enough.”

A tortured look passed his face, like the obvious miscommunication had disrupted everything. “I thought I was being paraded around to prove a point.”

I roughly wiped the tears that kept falling, “It’s okay to not want to struggle for everything in your life, JJ. You were exhausted and I just wanted to help you.”

“I didn’t know. I-just didn’t know.” I continued to repeat.  And I didn't. I had no experience with love. I wanted him to have the world since he was born with less than most people I knew, yet he deserved so much more.

“You let your friends help you, I don’t understand how I was any different.”

His blonde hair was sticking up in multiple directions, a clear sign of his obvious distress. "Because they’re my family."

Irremediable sorrow burrowed in my chest. "But, I was your family too."

I felt layers of grief his me in waves, quick and hard, one after the other as I came to terms with the fact that JJ never considered me any part of his family.

"You were the only family I ever had. I thought I was your family.” I sniffled, my ribs began to ache from the constant crying. 

A loud crack had me jump back as Rafe bursted into the room, chest heaving from exertion. He paused, his eyes locking in on the messed up sheets before dragging over to me and scanning my disheveled appearance. 

I thought we hit a milestone. JJ finally started talking and letting me know exactly what was going on in that brain of his. And maybe, that would be enough for me, for now. This all happened because JJ didn’t know how to communicate and I knew that wasn’t his fault, but at one point he needed to grow up. 

I was willing to hold his hand while he did it. But I watched as JJ’s eyes clocked the necklace Rafe wore with my initials. His gaze narrowed at the purse in his hand and my car keys in the other. 

The jealousy was evident in the way he rolled his shoulders back, his face granite. “Cute necklace.”

Rafe smirked, tilting his head to the side. “Thanks. It looks even better swinging in her face.”

JJ’s cool demeanor dropped, his blue eyes darkened into a brewing storm. “Enjoy my seconds, bro.” He clapped Rafe on the chest. 

My heart popped in my chest at his words, another bandage would do little to fix the shards that once resembled a heart. And, I knew then, that JJ confirmed the conclusion I just came to myself. 

“JJ?”

“What?”

“You were right. I do deserve better than you.” 

Loving him cost me something much greater: myself. 

I couldn’t continue to hide myself in any man that told me pretty words. I was no longer my own person, just a mere extension of them. One that they treated poorly and only took out when they were bored. I was always willing to do what they would never do for me.

I was just a girl, in love with an extraordinary boy who couldn’t see past all the things he was not.

I walked over to where Rafe was, forcing myself to remember his cruel words also. It was the only way I could get myself to walk out of here. My eyes lingered on the necklace for a second before I pulled my keys from his grasp and grabbed my purse. 

I wore nothing but JJ’s shirt, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. I left my clothes in Rafe’s bathroom, deciding it was better to leave them then spend another second in either of their soul sucking presence. I could always buy another dress. 

I couldn’t buy another me. Not if I kept letting these boys break me. 

This time, I was the one that never looked back.

Side note: I WROTE THIS THREE TIMES so pls pls pls be nice to me. I tried to incorporate a lot of people's ideas. I know the OC is very wishy washy but she's so real for that.

TAG LIST: @maybankslover @theficshop @cantbecreative @plk-18

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[chlerc]

back in barcelona ; joão félix

— summary; catching her in the stands while he’s playing for barcelona is certainly not the way he thought he’d ever see her again.

pairing — joao felix x old-friends-actress!f. reader ( third person story )

social media au + 1085.

content — old friends, she studied in joao’s school but moved back to barcelona and they were only mutuals on instagram but never talked. joao pinned over her.

NAVIGATION + author’s note: back in chicago trend but make it back in barcelona cause you can never take the man out of the barcelona girl!!!

song rec for this fic — end of beginning!!

Liked by hugofelix18, itsnicolewallace and 3,827,197 others

ynusername did you miss me, Viseu?

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itsnicolewallace I MISS YOU, regresa a mí!!! (come back to me)

evaruiz tan hermosa (so gorgeous)

maddisonarg love you

ynusername @maddisonarg love you too!!!

gabrieloxguevaraa eres tan bonitaaaaa (you’re so pretty)

ynusername @gabrielxoguevaraa halagándome guapo (flattering me, handsome)

ferrantorres 🔥

yn.officialupdates Drop dead gorgeous

hugofelix18 meu irmão sentiu sua falta (my brother missed you)

ynusername @hugofelix18 saia do aplicativo 🤦🏻‍♀️ (get off the app)

Liked by joaofelix79, louispatridge_ and 4,817,912 others

ynusername THE LAST TIME ON SET!!! Super excited for this to go out on @netflixes soon, catch Through My Window coming up. Really really love this one, please look forward to it 🤍

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juliopfernandez por favor espera #ATravésDeTuMirada!!! (please look forward to Through My Window)

carlitosalcarazz Le conté a mi mamá sobre nosotros 😉 (I told my mum about us)

ynusername @carlitosalcarazz sin habla 🤦🏻‍♀️ (speechless)

siramartinezc Eres tan bonita te quiero tan mala (you’re so pretty I want you so bad)

hugofelix18 legal, vou dizer ao meu irmão para assistir (Nice, will tell my brother to watch it)

ynusername @hugofelix18 HUGOOOO, ir para a cama 😠 (go to bed)

joaofelix79 @hugofelix18 você está cheio de merda, o que você está fazendo e dizendo aqui? (You’re full of shit, what are you doing and saying here?)

gqportugal 🤩🤩🤩

gqspain ¡nuestra princesa! (Our princess)

IT COULD HAVE BEEN the lack of sleep catching up on him from yesterday but he swore he wasn’t seeing things. Amidst the sea of faces in the crowd, his gaze kept drifting to a familiar figure seated near the team’s bench where he stood nearby taking a quick gulp of water.

There she was, with her eyes the colour of earth kissed by spring rains, the hue that promises to stir life from dormant seeds, the nascent plants guided upward by the light before blossoming into the vibrant colours of a new season. Her hair was the brown of aged mahogany, rich and deep, yet with the subtle hues only time brings. Those strands that he was too familiar with, staring at the back of her head back in the days whilst she sat in front of him in classes.

She was a constant presence in his thoughts, a captivating enigma he couldn't shake off. Her laughter echoed in his mind when the lights dimmed in his bedroom, her smile a beacon of warmth that drew him in. But here, in the midst of the pulsating stadium, João couldn't believe his eyes. Was it truly her?

Throughout the match, João’s mind oscillated between the thrill of the game and the enigmatic presence of her. His concentration wavered, his thoughts drifting to moments shared and conversations unspoken. With each passing minute, the field seemed to blur, his focus slipping away like sand through his fingers.

But duty called and he pushed aside the distractions, channeling his energy into the game, his every touch eliciting roars of approval from the crowd for those seventy three minutes he played. He thanked his lucky stars and the coach for subbing him off early today, finding himself a seat within her distance. João’s neck awkwardly craned and turned just to catch a glimpse of her, her eyes everywhere but on him.

And when he catches her eyes before he could realise he was staring, his breathing becomes harder, the pensive look on him melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. His body squirms just a little as his muscles relax but he just threw a thumbs up her way, acting as if everything was fine. There was something about that gaze of her he’ll never find in another woman.

As the final whistle blew and Barcelona emerged victorious, João’s heart raced with adrenaline and triumph. But amidst the celebrations, a lingering doubt gnawed at him. Should he have approached her? But it was probably her lookalike, the last he checked her Instagram, she was still on set and busy. At the end of the day, he knew deep in every nook and crevice of his heart that it was probably her and he was just lying to himself, no mistakes on recognising the girl he secretly pinned after in highschool.

There would be other matches, other moments. For now, João embraced the euphoria of victory, knowing that somewhere amidst the chaos of the stadium, she lingered, a silent specter in the tapestry of his dreams. He made a mental note of checking her Instagram later tonight and stop his brother from commenting outrageous comments about himself.

Liked by joaofelix79, judebellingham and 4,917,137 others

ynusername back in barcelona, i feel it 🤍

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judebellingham wrong place bruv, thought we talked about this before?

ynusername @judebellingham literally born in barcelona before i went to UK and befriend you whilst on shoot??? the ego, jude…

judebellingham @ynusername YOU’RE SOOO MEAN, did you just call me egoistic? Not gonna talk to you ever 😞

rolemod3lyn @ynusername Y’ALL ARE FRIENDS???

claaragalle no podría extrañarte más (couldn’t miss you more)

drewstarkey you visiting home but I don’t see you? (I’m supposed to be your home) 😠

ksi #drinkprime!

ynusername @ksi this is not the football team you sponsored mate????

ksi @ynusername ohhh i thought…

Liked by fcbarcelona, joaofelix79 and 8,816,192 others

ynusername off season for me but always cheering my number 1 and childhood team on with Laila! ps ksi this is the team you sponsor.

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ksi #DRINKPRIME

judebellingham how bout you come to madrid and visit your friend (me) too!

ynusername @judebellingham thought someone didn’t wanna talk to me 😒

judebellingham @ynusername we LITERALLY FACETIMED after my comment????

fcbarcelona Welcome Back Home ✨🏠

barca.4life SHE A CULER TOO???

davidrenzo she just got more perfect

forblaugrana One of our own, culer 💙❤️

ferrantorres Bienvenido de vuelta amiga, gracias por venir! (Welcome back home friend, thanks for coming by!)

ynusername @ferrantorres no hay problema chico tiburón 👉🦈 (no problem shark boy)

itsnicolewallace Dijiste que me llamarías cuando hayas vuelto a España, mentirosa (you said you'd call me when you're back in spain, liar)

ynusername @itsnicolewallace ¡Te iba a sorprender! (I was going to surprise you)

The last time he was playing in the stadium and on the pitch was when she was here. And she literally was here after her two recent posts on her social media platform accounts. And he was right, João would never recognise the wrong woman, not when he memorised every bit and parts of her before she left Viseu.

In the velvet night, the shining light of the stadium shone upon her, illuminating each and every feature of her. João legs unable to carry himself forward, entranced by her with his match jersey in one hand and a towel in the other. There she was looking right at him, dead in his eyes whilst a small grin plastered across her face.

“You’re staring at her like you love her.” Ferran nudges him by his shoulder, a small hint of banter evident in his voice. “She’s your friend though, isn’t she?” João questions, his once agape jaw now capable of finding words to speak, arms hanging around Ferran’s shoulders as they walk towards where she was.

“Yeah but we aren’t that close like you are with her.” Ferran shrugs nonchalantly, removing João’s arm around his shoulder before patting João on the back and pushing him towards her before running into the tunnel. “Good luck, I know you can do it.” He heard the whispers of Ferran before actually processing what happened.

“Long time no see and talk, great goal today Floki.” She rubbed his shoulders, calling him by his nickname she had for him in school. She was the whole entire point of naming his own dog Floki, just to have the simplest and smallest yet memorable thing of her by his side.

His palms turned sweaty at the moment, nibbling at the lower lip of his and he swore he could hear his heart palpitating against his chest, yearning to be freed from the tightness within him. “Thanks, it’s so good to see you after all these years. You still look gorgeous.”

Her eyes curved into crescents, his favourite thing about her. “Really, you think so?” Her fingers are linked together while she fiddles with them, swaying her body a little from side to side. “I don’t think so, I am sure. Anyways, what brings you here?”

“You, I heard you have been loaned to Barcelona for the season and I thought to just drop by some matches to watch you while cheering for the team.” She turns João around, pushing him to walk into the tunnel while she follows behind. He didn’t know how to reply, losing all capability of talking when he couldn’t find the right words without messing it up and showing his anxiousness.

“That’s good, I was hoping to catch you in Barcelona when I saw your Instagram post. I mean not that I follow up on it but nevermind, I’m not explaining myself clearly.” He waved his hand in the air, a sign for her to shrug the conversation and whatever he just said off.

“It’s okay I miss you too João, you can just admit it.”

Liked by joaofelix79, hugofelix18 and 7,821,427 others

ynusername Floki & Laila’s papa and mama reunion

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judebellingham uh, Floki as in João Félix’s sausage dog? 🤔

ynusername @judebellingham RUDE! You’re calling Laila a sausage too? You’re calling her fat? BLOCKED.

judebellingham @ynusername YOU’RE PUTTING WORDS INTO MY MOUTH. SAUSAGE DOGS ARE CUTE IS WHAT I MEANT.

bornaswaglife OMG??? THE CROSSOVER

joaofelix79 Laila and Floki’s mama 🤍

ynusername @joaofelix79 you too papa!

ferrantorres 😆😆😆

livenolaughnolife TWO DACHSHUND OMGGG EVEN MATCHING DOGS

barcawag.planet This is literally so unexpected and cute

Liked by ynusername, ferrantorres and 4,927,197 others

joaofelix79 Laila’s mama but myself and Floki’s new mama now 😉

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pablogavi 👏👏

andr34daurent bros pulling 10s on and off pitches

marcguiu9 lindo hermano (nice one brother)

forblaugrana 10/10

ynusername my favourite dog papa 🤍

joaofelix79 @ynusername & my favourite mama

blaugranaplanet ustedes dos son muy lindos juntos, se complementan bien (you two are really cute together, complement each other well)

lamineyamal ¿Tienes dos perros salchicha, papá? (You got two sausage dogs papa?)

fcbarcelona Floki’s Star papa & Princess mama!

[erins-quinn]

Do you have any sydcarmy fic recs? I feel like I’ve read a lot of the ones on ao3

*rubs hands together maniacally*

(organized by rating. canon compliant unless stated otherwise (like an AU u know the drill)

(If there’s a star by the author’s name you should read more of their work. read everything read it all)

General Audiences

Crush on the Red Line by Blissymbolics*

Did you call me baby? by imenawriting

la valse de sydney by malariamonsters* (@songkangsbottomteethcirca2020)

Teen and Up

viscum album by cruciomione* (@cruciomione)

They Know by tiltedtemple*

before you came into my life (i missed you so bad) by hotelfoxtrot*

106 miles by MissAmyShay* (@missamyshay)

almost home by papercranium*

you change all the lead, sleeping in my head by adogwithabirdatyour_door*

two worlds collided by heydoeydoey

let lips do what hands do by wispenwillows

Mature

Copenhagen (let me go home) by turbulenthandholding (@turbulenthandholding)

Again and Again by 2shytheshippy

child with a child pretending by emilybrontay* (@sennenrose) (single parent AU)

Why Can’t We Be Friends? by currymanganese*(@currymanganese)

write me like it’s your last time, I’ll read it like it’s my first by puzzlepuppy (me! :D)

Fire One Chicken Noodle by DoubleApple* (@doubleappled)

Seasons of Sydney by shewalksoverme (@shewalksoverm3)

it’s all for you, everything I do by Amiera_Sapphire* (@amieraisposting) (pregnancy AU)

and I can tell that you’re my good girl by mariyanas

nobody ever got my soul right like she could by seh28* (@yangsharperavery)

infraction by bobaheadshark

as if the dream of you, it sleeps, too by icouldnotsee (herprettysleeper)

Explicit

the raspberry room by shroooms

Mouthful of Petals by Galatria57 (hanahaki AU)

The Support by peachybunnybabie* (@ethxocore)

These Stones Will Shout by Anonymous

A Pear Tree (or Any Other Tree in Bloom) by OysterKnife*

Fundamentals for the Fun and Mental by bioloyg* (@bioloyg)

gotta get up to get down by somethingdifferent

if i’m butter then he’s a hot knife by minecrafter42

fireproof by kneeinjury

with the intention of forever by sashafiercer* (@sashafiercest)

his private joy by tvfanatic97

if you want it you can have it by mediumsweet

You With The Dark Curls (You With The Watercolor Eyes) by swaggnation

bonus:

this isn’t sydcarmy but sydlip (from shameless) and I’ve been fucking obsessed with it despite never watching an episode of shameless a day in my life so. yeah. read it. Two Ghetto Geniuses by sashafiercer (@sashafiercest) (college AU)

all of this shit up here hits so hard. sincere and joyful and angsty and passionate and everything in between.

this is just a drop in the bucket. if you’re on this list please keep writing. if you’re not on this list please keep writing. keep writing and keep writing and keep writing and keep writing. this is me telling you your words have so much fucking value and they’re so beautiful I am BEGGING you not to forget that if you write fic at all.

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of fics like the book Red, White & Royal Blue as requested in this ask. The fics all have varying combinations of the main tropes of the book (enemies to friends to lovers, royalty, famous/famous, and/or fake relationship). You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

💙 Queen of Arizella by seducedbycurls

(M, 277k, omegaverse) Harry is King of Arizella, he needs a Queen and who better than an omega on the run from death? Louis will learn to become the perfect Queen -the perfect fake Queen, but only for a few months.

💙 The Greatest Thing by @infinitelymint *

(E, 163k, canon) Harry and Louis haven’t spoken since the band broke up when a dangerous combination of Niall Horan, tequila, and an ordained Elvis impersonator means that the two of them have to embark on their biggest publicity stunt to date - together.

💙 Façade by written_with_no_end / @written-with-no-end

(NR, 133k, famous/famous) An AU where Louis is the lead singer of The Rogues, Harry is the lead singer of White Eskimo and both are sick of being in the closet so kiss one night to fuck with the media.

💙 Lightning Strikes The Heart by @fournipplesau , @justalarryblog

(E, 130k, historical) As expected every year, the Lockhart House hosts the season’s opening ball, and its invitation is the motive of the hustle in town, and every family hopes for the invitation. This year is no different, but this year everyone's attention is focused on the new Duke of Montgomery, His Grace Harry Edward Styles, and whether he will attend it.

💙 Paint Me In A Million Dreams by green_feelings / @greenfeelings *

(M, 112k, famous/famous) When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese's next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity?

💙 mirrorball by cherryboys

(NR, 102k, famous/famous) When Harry is asked to fake date Louis Tomlinson, an actor he hates because he bad mouthed one of Harry's songs in the beginning of his career, he is opposed to the idea.

💙 white winged dove by duchessy

(M, 100k, arranged marriage) Pressured to marry in order to save his family from financial and social ruin, Louis finds himself caught between wanting to be selfish and doing what he needs to do for the sake of his sisters, if no one else.

💙 king of my heart by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze *

(E, 83k, adaptation) A Red, White, and Royal Blue AU where Hollywood elite, Louis Tomlinson, finds himself falling for the closeted Prince of England.

💙 A Night in Hollywood by Sax246

(NR, 71k, famous/famous) Louis quickly comes to realise Harry is only enjoyable on the screen and not in-person. When the two get caught in a fight by paparazzi at a celebrity party, the media goes crazy, and they are forced into a PR-relationship against their will.

💙 don't want no other shade of blue by padfootyoudog / @louisisworthit

(E, 58k, omegaverse) it was foretold that Alpha Prince Harry would be mated to a beautiful male omega with eyes that could rival the stone amethyst, but Omega Prince Louis refuses to believe it.

💙 Need So Much of You by @lululawrence *

(NR, 46k, canon) the would-have-been canon compliant, fake relationship, friends with benefits, friends to lovers fic where Louis wonders if this thing going on with Harry is going to break him or change everything for the better.

💙 walk my days on a wire by sunshiner *

(E, 38k, famous/famous) when actor Louis Tomlinson used to daydream about dating Harry Styles, this is not what he had in mind.

💙 (we will be) as if chosen by @alivingfire *

(E, 35k, secrets)  Under the watchful eyes of millions, Louis has to figure out how to keep his carefully constructed house of cards from falling, and the first step to accomplishing that is to keep from falling in love with the irritatingly charming Prince Harry, who just won't stop showing up and trying to whisk Louis out of the constraints of his boring life.

💙 Lies & Liability by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

(M, 34k, historical) Harry Styles wishes that he will enter matrimony out of true love, no matter how favourable the match with any which alpha may be.

💙 Sail into the Sun by orphan_account

(E, 31k, Prince Louis) Louis needed a way out, Harry needed a husband. It was a mutual agreement. Doesn't mean they have to like each other.

💙 Dancing With Masks by @softfonds *

(E, 18k, famous/famous) With awards season coming up and new films on the way for both of them, Harry and Louis' managers decide it's time for them to date for publicity. 

💙 rapture in the dark by stylinsonsupporter

(T, 13k, hate to love) Harry does the Winter Girlfriend routine with Louis instead.

- Rare Pairs -

💙 Love Like This by @reminiscingintherain *

(E, 32k, Zayn/Louis/Liam) A Zouiam RWRB AU, featuring Louis as the First Son, Liam as the Prince, and Zayn as Liam's friend and equerry. 

💙 Be My King (I'll Be Your Queen) by transteverogers *

(E, 15k, Zayn/Liam) That one where Zayn's a royal bad boy and Liam's his PR agent/Personal Assistant and basically everyone knew they had feelings for each other before they did.

[minniesmutt]

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: I.N X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: SIREN!JEONGIN, PIRATE!READER, MURDER MENTIONS, FIRE, NON SEXUAL NUDITY, ALCOHOL MENTIONS, SEMI-PUBLIC SEX, ORAL (F. REC), BRAINWASHING (NOT SURE BUT JUST PUTTING IT HERE JUST INCASE), BREEDING SEASON MENTIONS, BOOB PLAY, MARKING, UNPROTECTED SEX, SEX IN WATER, CREAM PIE, DEGRADING, NAME CALLING (WHORE), TENTACLE BUT NOT? ☾ ━━━ WC: 1K ☾ ━━━ repost from old blog ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     “Grab their treasure. We’ll sink the ship after.” Y/n sauntered off as she put her pistol back on her belt, making her way back to her ship. 

      She thought by now everyone knew these were her waters. She’d been on land and heard what people said about her. They never did anything nice, to say the least.

     Her crew at least respected her enough to not get on her bad side. They gathered the remaining crew that she hadn’t shot after taking out their captain.

     “Captain!” One of her crewmates called, making her turn around

     “What?” She questioned.

     “They got a siren,” He said.

     “Bring him aboard.” Y/n smiled

     Sirens were somewhat rare, but also natural enemies to pirates. Consistently fighting over the sea. The majority just hid deep in the blue, similar to their less violent cousins—mermaids. Seeing one was rare. Catching one was unheard of.

     Y/n fixed herself a drink as her crew brought their bounty aboard. The first they brought on was the fish boy. Setting him on some crates from previous ship raids. Y/n walked back up to the deck and saw the boy. Noticing they had left him nude after he dried out, gagged him, and tied him up.

     “Take their clothing! The siren needs it more than them!” Y/n called to her crew as she walked over to the boy. 

     Y/n set her glass on the crate next to him as he eyed her suspiciously. Then removed the tied cloth gag from his mouth. “Do you have a name?” she asked, stepping back and giving him space.

     He hesitated for a moment, “Jeongin…” he finally said as a crew mate ran over and gave the captain a sack of clothes before running back to the other ship

     “I’m Y/n,” she told him as she grabbed her knife and walked back to him.

     Jeongin flinched a bit as the blade came close to him. “I’m not making you a fillet, don’t worry,” Y/n told him as she started cutting his ropes.

     “You’re a pirate. I should worry.” 

     “You haven’t given me a reason to kill you like they did,” Y/n mentioned the crew that had previously captured him, “How’d you get caught?”

     “Was hunting and got trapped in their net. Couldn’t tell you how long I was with them. Just know I’m too far from home.”

     “Sorry to hear that. Should be more careful.”

     “Sound like my friends.” Joengin laughed as she got his wrist free, “How do you know I won’t run back to the sea?”

     “Do you know how to use your legs?” Y/n asked, kneeling down to cut the rope around his ankles

     “...No.” 

     “Only ever been in the ocean?”

     “Yeah. Don’t go on land much.”

     Y/n nodded as the rope fell away. Y/n stood and put away the blade before grabbing a shirt and pair of pants for the siren. Tossing them over to him and finding a pair of shoes for him. Jeongin threw the shirt on over his head and just stared at the pants, trying to figure them out. 

     “Need help?” Y/n asked

     Jeongin looked up at her as she set a pair of boots down next to him. “Would you mind?”

     Y/n took the pants and helped him put them on his legs. Jeongin watched her carefully, learning how to do it so he didn’t have to ask her again.

     “Jump down,” Y/n told him.

     Jeongin slid off the crate and almost fell over. Quickly grabbing the crate behind him. Y/n slid the fabric the rest of the way up before closing it. “There.”

     “Thanks,” Jeongin said as he pulled himself back up onto the crate. Y/n helped him with the boots before grabbing her drink again and taking a sip. The two watched the crew members load her ship before pushing off from them. 

     Setting fire to the wooden ship as they left. Letting it burn and crumble into the sea. The crew moved the cache below deck for her to look over later. Jeongin hadn’t noticed just how much was below deck with him until they were moving everything. He’d learn over the next month just how much the crew would manage to take. 

     He’d so recognized a lot of the ships she would capsize. They’d sail by his pod's home cave all the time. Part of him was a little happy with what she was doing. Fewer issues for them later on. 

     During the month he was with the crew, he learned how to walk thanks to Y/n. She’d done a lot to help him on the ship despite the long history between the two species. 

     During the day the ship was busy and everyone was running around. Jeongin did his best to stay out of the way during the day. Mainly stayed below deck and came out at night. Sat and watched the sea drift by. 

     “No one stopping you from leaving.” Y/n’s voice came as he was sat on the railing

     “I know,” Jeongin said as she came to stand next to him.

     The two had become somewhat friends over the month. Having friendly conversations here and there. Y/n never made him feel like a prisoner on the ships. Always giving him opportunities to leave. Even as the months went on. 

     Friendly night conversations turned into him coming above deck and talking with her when she had downtime. Even carrying into the night they’d keep talking about everything. From sea to land. 

     One particular night seemed to change the course of their relationship. Both sitting on a rock in a cave near the water. The ship had docked on an island to explore the place and regather some food and supplies. Everyone else had turned in for the night. Y/n didn’t find the siren so she went looking for him, finding him with his tail out in the cave.

     The conversation led to the two talking well into the night

     “Didn't know sirens had a breeding season,” Y/n said 

     “Every spring,” Jeongin told her

     “You know you are more than welcome to leave here. You can go be with your friends during the season if it makes it easier for you?”

     “I know. Don’t think I want to though.”

     “Why not?”

     “As odd as it sounds, I think I’ve grown attached to you.”

     Both of them locked eyes for a moment. Letting the words hang in the air before he leaned forward. Pressing his lips onto hers. Y/n, far too easily, responded to the kiss. The siren boy had a certain charm about him. It was easy to give in to him as he grabbed the side of her face and leaned her head back to deepen the kiss. Pushing her down onto the rock underneath as Y/n moaned into the kiss, arching towards him.

     Jeongin laid his other hand on the rock as he slipped his tongue inside her mouth. Y/n let another moan into his mouth and grabbed hold of his wrists. Her hips grinding themselves against his tail.

     “Tell me to stop captain,” Jeongin told her between kisses

     “No,” Y/n told him, “Don’t. Don't stop.” 

     “Don’t say I didn’t try,” Jeongin warned her

     Jeongin pushed her shirt up over her chest, dipping his head down to kiss the top of her breasts. Y/n flung her shirt off her body before lacing her fingers in his wet hair. The siren all but tore her bra off of her and wrapped his lips around her nipples. Y/n tugged at his hair as his hands moved down to the waistband of her pants.

     Y/n lifted her hips and Jeongin pulled the fabric down and tossed them somewhere. She had already set her boots aside to dip her feet in the water while they were talking. Jeongin had her almost completely at his mercy.

     He slid himself down her body, his own body slipping back into the water, till he was face to face with her cunt. He pulled her closer to the edge, skin getting roughed up from the jagged rock as he did so. Y/n let out a little moan as he placed her legs over his shoulder. Jeongin glanced up at her as he licked between her folds. Not easing into it at all.

     “Jeongin!” Y/n gasped, her voice echoing off the walls of the cave

     The male hummed and the noise reverberated through her body. Her legs tightened around his head on instinct. Jeongin grabbed her thighs and spread them open for him as he continued eating her out. Not once letting up as his tongue slipped inside of her. 

     Her moans bounced off the walls of the cave along with the wet noise coming from him eating her pussy. Y/n caught a glance of his eyes— those siren eyes that could kill. Then he started humming as his lips wrapped around her clit. At first, it seemed like nothing but stimulation, and then everything in her mind went blank.

     “In…” Y/n called

     He kept humming the tune till her body convulsed and her orgasm washed over her. Her high never felt as intense as it had then in the past. She could barely process the siren cleaning her out and that he had stopped humming his tune. The coolness of the water he dragged her into did nothing but make her arch into him.

     Jeongin smiled as he leaned in and kissed her neck. “Thought you’d be more guarded against a siren, captain.” 

     Y/n laid her head back against the rock as he marked up her neck and chest. He wrapped her legs around his hips, “Not a single thought behind those eyes, huh?”

     He had her in a trance from his song. The strong-headed captain he had grown attached to was now at his total mercy. His webbed hands groped her breasts.

     “Innie,” Y/n whined as she tilted her head forward

     “I’ve got you. Gonna let Innie relieve himself in you?”

     The tip of his dick peeked out from a slit in his tail. Swimming its way to her entrance, rubbing itself along her folds. “Please In…”

     “Should keep you like this, let your crew see just how much of a brain-dead whore you are?” He growled in her ear and his cock breached her entrance. Pushing itself into her. Y/n grabbed onto his arms in her cloudy gaze. Everything looked almost blurry if it wasn’t Jeongin. Tales of a siren’s voice didn’t give an accurate description of how it affected humans— probably because most people who had encountered a siren never came back to tell the true tale.

     Jeongins cock seemingly had a mind of its own. His hips didn’t move but she could feel his cock thrusting up into her rapidly. Y/n gripped his arms tightly as he leaned back and just watched her. 

     The water barely moved around the save for his tail swaying underneath to keep them afloat. He tightened his hold on her breasts before moving them down to her hips. Grinding her clit against the scales of his tail, making her clench around him.

     His cock thrusted in faster the tighter she got. Her walls pulsed around him with every thrust till he had her cumming on his cock. Body shaking against the rock and disturbing the water around them. 

     Jeongin kept her moving against his scales. Keeping her stimulated even when she whined it was too much. He didn't pay mind as he twitched inside of her before releasing his seed into the pirate. 

     Y/n whined as she felt his warmth fill her as he pulled her to him, hand wrapping around her neck. “Spend all spring cumming inside of you captain.”

☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST    TIP JAR

☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[idyllic-ghost]

title: To Choose A Mortal Life

pairing: Vernon x gn!reader

genre: fluff, comfort, established relationship

warnings: mentions of having a bad day

synopsis: you've just finished watching your favorite film trilogy, and Vernon has the nerve to insult your favorite character.

wordcount: 1k

taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag, @d0nghyuck, @fantasy2wonderland, @seunghancore, @woozixo, @niktwazny303, @lllucere, @uniq-tastic, @wonwoospartyhat, @stariightjoyy, @hyneyedfiz, @cali-snow, @pearlygraysky, @crazywittysassy, @yeosayang

rating: PG 13

a/n: yes, this is self-indulgent leave me alone. got this thought last night and had to write it out this morning, so this is for all of the nerds and vernon lovers who follow me

join my taglist

masterlists

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Vernon looked over at you as soon as the credits rolled, a content smile on his lips. You, on the other hand, were gripping the edge of the blanket like your life depended on it - tears staining your cheeks as you sniffled. Although he didn't mean to, Vernon couldn't help but laugh. It was quick, barely noticeable really, but you heard him. You whipped your head towards him with a glare that could kill a man.

"I'm sorry-"

"Why are you laughing?" you whined. "That was beautiful!"

Vernon let out another laugh as the tears came rolling down your cheeks again. The two of you hadn't been sitting far apart, but for the sake of your well-being, Vernon moved a little closer and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

"Babe," he whispered, "you've already seen this movie... a lot."

"Because it's good! You think so too, right? Why aren't you crying?" you whaled, and Vernon couldn't help but laugh again.

"I've also seen it-"

You buried your face in your chest, and Vernon grinned as he wrapped his arms around your frame. His unwillingness to cry only made you more upset. It was cute, really. Then he saw a name on the credits that he recognized and something he had been trying to figure out clicked.

"Oh. Now I remember where I've seen him before," he said, referring to earlier in the movie where he had tried to figure out one of the actor's filmography from memory. "He's that guy in the second season of Stranger Things."

Your sniffles stopped, your body stopped quivering, and Vernon knew he had said something wrong. He let you go as you tried to get out of his grip, and when you looked at him you were met with a cheesy smile that screamed "Please forgive me!"

"Sam did not carry Frodo up Mount Doom to be known as 'that guy from Stranger Things!'" you exclaimed.

Vernon threw his head back with laughter as you tried your best to argue with him - it was impossible, he was laughing so hard that he could barely catch his breath let alone answer you. He had spent the majority of your rewatch of the Lord of the Rings trilogy trying to figure out where he had seen Sam before. It wasn't anything he had thought of before, so of course he wanted to know. You had asked him to not go on his phone, watching the movies was very serious for you - even if you frequently talked over the movie to explain certain things. That was allowed, of course. Vernon didn't complain, he enjoyed watching you be so enamored with a movie. He was just happy that you had finally started to relax after your hard day at work.

"I'm sorry," he said in between snickering. "I just saw the actor's name on the credits, I didn't mean to offend Sam."

You looked at him with a pout, your eyes still glossy from crying and the skin around them slightly puffy. You looked like a mess, but Vernon still thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. His grin never faltered; eventually, it got you to break into a smile. You cuddled up next to him again, and he wrapped his arms around you. The credits kept rolling, but neither of you felt like moving to turn them off.

"I still don't understand why Arwen was dying," Vernon mumbled.

"She chose a mortal life," you murmured, "And since she was opposed to Sauron, she would've died if he got the ring back. They all would have."

Vernon nodded at your explanation. You were tired; he could tell from the way you yawned and the fact that you didn't go into a full-blown explanation of why Arwen was dying towards the end of the trilogy. He placed one of his hands on the top of your head, letting you take the other in your hands and play with his fingers.

"Would you choose a mortal life for me?" he asked.

"Yeah." You intertwined your fingers with his, looking at them as if you were studying the way his hand fit in yours. Usually, you would've teased him for asking such a question - called him lame, and maybe flicked his forehead, but not tonight.

"Even if I called Sam 'that actor from Stranger Things?'"

"You're pushing it." You looked up at him with a teasing grin. "But yeah."

"Thanks," he said with a grin that matched yours.

You pursed your lips at him, silently asking him for a kiss, and he obliged. It was short and chaste, almost just a peck. His lips were slightly chapped and tasted like salty popcorn, but you didn't care. When you pulled back from him, his eyes were still closed as if he was trying to savor the moment. You put your head back on his chest without saying a word, even though you had plenty of ideas on ways to tease him floating around in your mind.

"Do you want to go to bed?" he asked after some time of silence.

"Could we just stay here for a moment?" you asked. "I'm comfortable here."

"Sure."

Even though one of Vernon's legs was falling asleep, even though he actually needed to go to the bathroom, and even though he was so tired from watching Lord of the Rings for nine hours straight, he wasn't going to move. Because you were comfortable because you were relaxed. If you felt this safe with him, that you could yell at him for not respecting your favorite film character enough and that you could fall asleep in his arms just a moment later, he was going to do everything in his power to let you keep sleeping. Maybe he wasn't as brave or as good with a sword as Aragorn, but he still wanted to protect you at all costs. He wrapped his arms around you tightly. As cheesy as it was, he really would choose one lifetime with you over facing forever alone.

[renthony]

🏳️‍🌈

(Drop a 🏳️‍🌈 in my inbox and I’ll respond with a queer media recommendation!)

Disenchantment is probably the least-popular creation of Simpsons & Futurama creator Matt Groening, but I think that's a damn shame, because it kicks total ass. I think everyone was expecting "medieval Futurama," but it very quickly developed its own, narrative-driven vibe. This show has a long-term story. I'm re-watching it from the beginning with my husband right now, and there are hints at the endgame from the very first episode. It's awesome.

The basic premise is that Princess Tiabeanie of Dreamland (called Bean for short) is trying to escape being married off for an alliance between kingdoms. Alongside an elf and a demon, she runs off and gets up to drunken hijinks before stumbling into a huge mess of magical destiny, family pacts with Hell, and invasion from a distant steampunk kingdom.

Here's the trailer:

As for why I'm recommending it as a queer show:

So many people had an issue with the line "gender is a spectrum" being spoken by a genderfucky griffin laying an egg in season one that they wrote it off entirely. I personally thought it felt more like "the writers tried to do something trans-inclusive but missed the mark a little" than "intentionally making offensive jokes", but a lot of people refused to keep watching after that, so they didn't see the show's other queer characters.

Princess Bean is canonically queer. She has casual hookups with men throughout the series, and she eventually also enters a relationship with a woman. The characters Odval and Sorcerio are in a romantically-committed gay relationship throughout the whole show, and they have mixed-gender swinger orgies for fun. The series ends with an on-screen MLM marriage. The happily-ever-after shows two different canon queer pairings (one MLM, one WLW) happy and in love. It's great.

If you gave up on it/didn't bother with it because it seemed like it would be just another offensive crappy adult cartoon, please give it another shot. The story has all kinds of wild twists, there are multiple hot evil women, we get to see a shitty father actively learn how to do better by his kids, and the show is led by a gender-nonconforming, awkward, angry young queer woman who does drugs and drinks and makes bad decisions and has mommy issues that are literally from hell. I fucking love her.

Ask For a Rec | Other Media Recommendations | Support Links

[aziraphales-library]

hi, i wonder if you have recs for fanfics written after the release of season 2 which are set in the time between s1 and s2? thank youu

Hello. Here are some fics set between series one and series two...

To the World by mehrto, SkysongMA (G)

"Really, Crowley, it's bad enough having everything replaced without you moving things. Don't tell me you're still tired after that nap you took." "After the events of the last eleven years, I believe I will be tired for the rest of the century." Crowley's voice turned uninterested, but he shifted his weight in the chair in a way that had nothing to do with the angle of the sun and everything to do with the topic. Aziraphale studied him. Crowley was still relaxed, ready, as ever, to slip into a nap wherever he was, but something was off, exactly like the arrangement of the bookstore. It was no fun to complain if Crowley wasn't immediately rushing to fix everything, even as he pretended he wasn't. Aziraphale drummed his fingers on the box, then clucked. "Well, if you're still tired, let me freshen up the spare bedroom. I ought to see if anything's changed there anyway."

Conversation on a park bench by CatelynStark956 (G)

Aziraphale is sitting in the park, reading and watching all the humans that pass by. Crowley suddenly joins him, furthering his musings on this and that until they’re interrupted by a gentleman who seems to have got the wrong impression

i come home, she lifted up her wings by junoshusband (G)

Oh, he could remember. Before everything, when angels groomed each other's wings in Heaven. Even after Heaven and Hell split into different factions and started their bickering, some of them would bask in the Earth's young sun as it fell between Eden’s verdant leaves and preen. But Gabriel usually chased them off, telling them they had work to do and that they didn't have eternity anymore. Whilst writing his account of the Apocalypse That Wasn't, Aziraphale broke his quill and then broke down. Crowley offers a feather and some comfort. Or, the story of how Aziraphale got the black feather seen in the Good Omens: Lockdown video.

Under the Stars by rockinellie (G)

Crowley sets up a stargazing picnic for Aziraphale, and they spend an evening enjoying one another’s company.

sense my heartbeat chase your constellations; burn but never fade away by Shaleschnueffler (T)

“Why don’t you drive us somewhere?” Crowley could not help his lips from parting and his brows from rising in heartfelt bafflement. Aziraphale- actively asking to endure Crowley’s driving that he despised so fervently? Intrigued, he jolted into motion, turning his entire body to face Aziraphale fully now. “...really? Like where?" Only upon saying these words out loud did Crowley realise that he’d already swung his legs around and placed his feet on the ground. Following this, there really was no use in letting Aziraphale answer his question. Crowley was going to go along with it, with anything, either way at this point. Less than a minute later, they were speeding past dangerously yellow lights with an unreasonably high number on the clock. or: Having successfully averted the end of the world, one night, Crowley proposes they do something nice. Aziraphale has a suggestion. Crowley rolls with it. They talk, and drive, and sip wine under the star-covered night sky, getting lost in their own world.

In The Next Room by maidenimage (M)

Crowley doesn’t know it yet, but this is going to be the first, last, and only night he spends in the bookshop.

In which Crowley and Aziraphale get drunk, play poker, and then everything changes. Or: Why TF is Aziraphale giving Gabriel his spare room while he let Crowley live in his car for years? Oh, this is why.

Set in canon between season 1 and season 2. Title lifted from a Neon Trees song of the same title.

- Mod D

[bbyquokka]

its me again BUT I CANT HELP IT the new challenge video of minsung... its a different thing BUT. jisung coming home with this outfit.. of course he is tired, he directly heads to living room to catch a breath, before even he can say something you sit on your knees in front of him, he gets what you want and smirks .. you slowly unbelt his pants,,,,,as u give him a head he calling u 'you're so pretty' 'my little slut' as he caress your hair 😖😖😖 you take slow as he guides you. okay enough.

so pretty !!

SMUT BELOW CUT – MINORS, AGELESS & DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | gender neutral reader, idol au, oral sex ( m rec ), some guidance during oral sex, dirty talk & thoughts, degrading name: slut, semi proof read. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 0.7k ~ ( 749 )

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

he's so tired. he's spent all day at the studio filming for the lalalala practice video. the theme of the video was racer. he's spent all day dealing with stylists and make-up artists making sure he looks good before entering the dance studio and filming the video with the back-up dancers.

after he filmed the youtube content, it was then advised that him and minho filmed a challenge video for youtube shorts and instagram reels. by that point, he just wanted to go home and luckily for him, it only took one take to do before he was finally able to go home for the day.

he doesn't mind it, of course. it's fresh new content for stays. it's just comeback season is always tiring for him (and everyone else) the schedule forever being packed. interviews here, flying to japan there. stage after stage after stage performances – it's never ending.

due to how busy he has been, his needs have been neglected. you know this more than anyone considering how short tempered he is slowly becoming. you wish you could help him but you know he is also tired from working and most likely just wants to sleep.

but that's far from the case. jisung is tired but he is horny: blue balls horny! he misses you. he misses your touch, your scent, your taste. he misses the way you look at him, pleading for him and moaning for him. he wants you so bad, it hurts! 

he walks into the apartment he shares with you, mumbling a small “hello” before flopping onto the couch. today has been extra tiring and extra hard on him. he didn't even bother getting changed from the racer clothes he was put in. everything he did and everywhere he went he imagined you being with him. he imagined fucking you from behind in front of the studio mirrors. imaging your moans echoing and bouncing off the walls. he's had to try hard not to get hard and it's been so painful for him.

you notice him shifting in his seat. he readjusts himself, giving his semi hard-on a squeeze. he groans, kicking his head back a little and lips parting. you watch him massage and squeeze himself, watch as his cock grows and gets hard in his pants.

“fuck.. i shouldn't be doing this. i need to shower and eat but it feels so good.” you hear him mumble to himself. you watch him unzip his pants, pulling them down to his ankles and squeezing and palming himself through his underwear. you see his cock grow hard and throb. something stirs inside of you and before you know it; you're down on your knees in front of a hazy and horny looking jisung.

“oh. hey doll, didn't see you th–” he swallows thickly as he watches you reach up and pull his underwear down. “... h-hey babe. you don't have to do that. im fin–fuck!”

his cock has sprung free from its restraints. you look up at him with doe eyes as you rub his shaft slowly. he bites his bottom lip gently before grabbing the base of his penis and tapping it against your lips.

“open.” you part your lips slowly as you maintain your gaze on him. you lean down and gently suck on his tip, giving it long and slow licks.

“that’s it. fuck that feels good, darling. you're so good for me, mhm.” you give him a simple hum as you stroke his shaft from the base. “think you can take a little more of me, darling?”

your eyes flutter close as you lower your head further down. the corner of your lips stretch a little and burn. saliva gathers in your mouth as you feel stuffed. you slowly bob your head up and down, body shivering as you listen to jisung pant and whimper.

“that's it. such a pretty little slut. gosh, you feel so good around my cock.” you continue to suck and stroke him, free hand reaching up and cupping his balls. his hands caress your hair slowly and gently, giving it the occasional tug.

“hollow out your cheeks darling. that’s it.. make sure your tongue is flat and breath darling.” you do as instructed, listening to jisung giving you hints and tips on how he likes it. he praises you, forever telling you how well behaved you're being and how good he feels.

“my little slut looks so pretty with my cock between their lips.”

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 | @reboggingfun ; @fairylouist ; @poody1608 ; @maximumkillshot ; @bintific ; @fun-fanfics ; @septicrebel

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Oh, Maker

"The humans are strange and graceful as they explore the garden, explore themselves, explore each other. The trouble is, the humans stare back, which makes him uncomfortable; there’s nothing particularly interesting about him. And, though he rarely admits it to himself, the humans make him lonely; he has no Other to explore." Or: how many times can you take a bath with your best friend before you kiss him?

Length: 57,034 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥

Best for: Mostly Safe in Public, At Home, Angst, Romance, Slow Burn

Triggers: None/ Religious Trauma themes

Read it here, fic by voluptatiscausa

*Minor Spoilers* I've had this fic bookmarked for months, I love this author and all the stories of theirs I've read. But my ADHD often has me piling on more without diving into what I already have saved. So, when I was about to begin the author's latest fic, I paused. I realized I needed to prioritize this story first, and appreciate it fully. And now, I want you to do the same!

This is a pre season 2 "through the ages" story, visiting some of the historical settings we're familiar with and adding new ones as well. We watch as the weight of the world hangs on Aziraphale and Crowley’s shoulders. The impossibility of alleviating human suffering, the pain of being abandoned by their Creator, their Mother, and the lingering desperation for her approval. So when they've burnt out, they turn to each other. They comfort each other with warm intimacy through baths, manicures, brushing each other's hair, each taking care of the other and showing us how holy love can be. It's gorgeous and heartbreaking all at once. Their love is so true, even if they have trouble believing they're worthy of being loved and desired. “It’s because love can’t be earned, sweetheart. It’s given.”

The beauty of fanfic is that it can exceed the canon. This is not just in character; to me it's more in character than the canon itself. The book and show are comedies; they don't have time to dive this deeply into their characters' motivations and histories. And, of course, that's not a bad thing, especially since it brought us all here. But when I read something like this, something that brings a real depth and understanding to the characters, I'm amazed. This isn’t the only fic I’ve felt this way about, but it’s a prime example of that feeling. It’s just that, when I read a story that specifically focuses on their entire 6,000 years together and all the history they’ve gone through, I get frustrated that those moments are played for laughs in the book/show. The Flood, the Crucifixion, the Spanish Inquisition all throw away lines that don’t stop to dive into the wealth of story that’s possible there. I get why it doesn’t linger, I do, but fic narratives are so much more interesting to me than what the canon alone can provide.

This is a deeply moving and powerful story. Full of musings on shame, desire, religious trauma, and the beauty of the world we live in. Life is a terrible and wonderful thing. While this is mostly safe for public, I really suggest making this an at home read. It's a bit heavier, something you want to be in the right headspace for, and it features very rich prose. Never dense or hard to follow, but very beautiful, and you'll want to give it your full attention. I realize I may have made this seem like full angst, but it’s not! There's some wonderful loving fluffy moments to be found as well. Be sure to check out the other works that belong in this series! They are devastatingly good as well. Pair with some fruit for the full effect!

Read it here, fic by voluptatiscausa

[grapehyasynth]

young royals fic rec, 34/?

i’m (slowly) working my way through the wilmon tag on ao3 and thought that as i go i might shout out some fics i enjoy along the way! i’ve tagged authors where i knew their tumblr url, but please feel free to tag folks or dm me if you know ones i’ve missed!

see all my rec lists here

1. Second First Meetings by @insi - Simon leaves Hillerska the Christmas after the video is published. Five years later, Wilhelm and Simon meet again at university and stumble upon a second chance neither thought they would receive.

2. It seems a place for us to dream by @skibasyndrome - It's so cheesy, fuck, it's ridiculous, he thinks, and for a split second fears his worries confirmed when Simon's lip curls upward and he's getting ready to be laughed at when- oh. There's a glint in Simon's eyes that Wilhelm can place immediately and it makes his already shallow breathing hitch, an entirely new emotion creeping in and setting the pit of Wilhelm's stomach on fire.

3. Vegas, Baby! by @iwouldnevergetintofanfic - Wilhelm, crown prince of Sweden, wakes up in Las Vegas with one of the worst hangovers of his life. He can't remember much from last night and he's not even sure who the stranger buried under the covers next to him is. Going by the clues in the room and by the random memory snippets that keep coming back to him, he fears he might have fucked up. Royally.

4. Every Eventuality by @gulliblelemon - The 'season 1 finale' of What Would I Do Without You? An AU in which Felice and Wille were best friends pre-Hillerska. Wille asks Simon to spend the weekend with him. Lots of things go right, and lots of things go wrong.

5. Sore loser by @piebingo - How Simon (badly) handles seeing Wilhelm fall in love with someone else on a reality TV dating show.

6. The Crown Prince and the Mamá by MyVainSaints - When she next met the Crown Prince there was still a lingering sense of that gentle boy from lunch but it was hidden by a shift that no one seemed keen to acknowledge. At first Linda swept all the change into grief and the pain of mourning, but watching her own son retreat into himself as his importance was denied made it all clear.

7. Inside, This Place is Warm by @unfortunate17 - Simon is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and Wilhelm is an idiot who can’t recognize his own sweater

[tarzelladraws]

Hi!! My name is Jenna! I just saw your amazing art and edits! Thanks for sharing your talent! I was very curious after seeing your AU artwork if you have any fanfiction written or a fic rec list you could share?

Aw thank you, i'm so happy you like my art! Sorry for the delayed response, I was on vacation. Here’s a list of some of my favorites in no particular order, just my oldest bookmarks to more recent. My all time favs are marked with **

Links are attached in the titles and i hope you like them! I have so many more!

** Mitan, Midi by animal rated E (Rey inherits a home in France, angst)

**Code of Honor by c_ike rated E (my favorite Rey background)

Forbidden by koderenn rated E (Jedi Rey x Senator Ben)

we could plant a house, we could build a tree by Like_A_Dove rated E (Ben and Rey grow up together, heavy angst)

** All Our Days by voicedimplosivesrated E (cannonverse Persuasion AU)

** Good Day, Professor by faequeentitania rated E (College student Rey x professor Ben)

A Royal Mistake by reyofdarkness (mitslits) rated E (Mechanic Rey x Prince Ben)

Compatible by AttackoftheDarkCurses rated E (friends to lovers, sexy vacation)

give you my wild (give you a child) by lizzysbennett rated E (babysitter rey x single dad Ben)

Mistranslations by MissCoppelia rated E (BDSM, Japanese mafia)

** stuck in colder weather by redbelles rated E (More college student Rey x professor Ben)

Ruby Woo Red by HeartSabers rated E (Celebrity Ben x MUA Rey)

set me on fire by no_loose_wire_jokes Rated E (roommates, rey is turned on by him swearing lol)

Good Fences by quamquam20 rated E (Witch Rey x Vampire Ben neighbors)

And Your Kingdom Too by vuas rated E (fantasy royalty au, arranged marriage, single chapter)

Olive and an Arrow by sadboykylo rated E (bodyguard Ben x president's daughter Rey)

Sunshine After a Storm by enloeddmedia rated E (modern cowboy au)

**A Royal Mix-Up by AttackoftheDarkCurses rated E (Ben x rey have a one night stand, he forgets to tell her he's a prince)

Awards Season by gracediamondsfear rated E (actor Ben x personal chef Rey)

**It's Just Us Now by KyloZen rated E (cannon divergent Kylo and Rey are stuck on Hoth together)

**Lifeblood by ebongawk (makeshiftcandy) rated E (modern au vampire ben)

**rumor has it by dachenabritta rated E (spoiled rich girl rey asks ben to sleep with her)

He's got them bad boy blues by Blueyedgurl rated E (high school au)

Three by JenfysNest rated E (an ode to three finger fingering)

**Soup from my Mouth by v_for_verona rated E (HEA TROS, food as a love language, this one speaks to the food insecurity i had growing up)

**D Major by star_pilots rated E (Ben fingers rey on a school bus lol)

**Show Me Your Teeth (i'll show you mine) by KnightFalling rated E (gentle vampire Ben x Rey who has vampire related trauma)

Shadow Song by SageMcMae rated E (ben is in a coma/also a shadow being protecting foster kid rey)

**Diet Coke by Pacificwanderer (CNichole) rated E (Ben is a hot construction worker that rey watches from her office window)

Dog Day Open Hydrant by LinearA rated E (firefighter ben is called to shut off a hydrant that Rey opened)

**Leave It All, Lock to the Tide by alantieislander rated E (Rey lives on a remote island, soldier Ben washes up on the shore)

**Don't Feed It (It Will Come Back) by Aaveena rated E (Rey works at a diner for the supernatural, Ben is a newly turned vampire)

you're the tall kingdom I surround (think I better follow you around) by havingaheavy rated E (Rey stalks Ben, Ben is obsessed with Rey)

To Have and to Hold by bunilicious rated E (historical AU, arranged marriage)

[the-amber-fox]

Young Royals Fic Rec List 2023

The holidays are coming early for this lovely fandom. I present you my favourite fanfics from this year to tide us all over until season 3.

Canon / Missing Moments

a running start (T) by This_time_its_just_me It’s so surreal to see him standing here in the Palace, in the Royal apartments where Wille had grown up through all the good and the bad of his life. It’s an image he couldn't have imagined, not in the sheer unremarkable and yet truly remarkable way it feels in reality. Sure he’d conjured up images of him, ghosts of memories and fantasies tangled together in a love-sick teenager's ache of loss. However, this is him here, pragmatic and tangible and real and it’s just difficult to wrap his mind around it.

Post Canon (maybe)

The equation of you Whiterabbit11 Simon is hurt and unconscious at the local hospital. Rosh watches, Ayub sleeps, and Wille is not happy.

All my loving (I will send to you) (M) @pagegirlintraining „Especially now that they’d been happily dating again for nearly ten months, Simon could’ve easily just teased Wille about being a drama queen and then kissed the pout off his lips. He didn’t, though. Instead, he kept staring at Wille’s handwriting, usually scrawly but now tidy and precise, feeling his heart slowly break for the sad, lonely boy who’d written and never sent this letter all those months ago.”

Baby, We Are Front-Page News (M) Ripki When Wille says, it was me, in front of the whole school – in front of the whole world – Simon feels simultaneously light with joy and leaden with trepidation. Once again, he is suddenly thrust from obscurity into spotlight, from normalcy into absurdity. He is certain though that together he and Wille can face anything. However, that is soon put to test, when a hurtful article about Simon hits the press.

no need for verbier (NR) starrystoryteller simon finds out about verbier

Fix Its

The daisy follows soft the sun (G) @romanticalrj Simon has two dark red seeds inked into his skin just below his belly button. He has always had them. He doesn’t remember a time when he looked into the mirror and that pair of burgundy seeds weren’t staring back at him. To Simon, the marks are an obligation. He doesn’t ever want to be tied to someone in this irreversible, caging way. But, as in most things in his life, Simon doesn’t get a choice. The seeds sit and sit on his belly for years, ignored and hidden and resented.

AUs

Ivy (M) unfortunate17 Wilhelm raises his eyebrows as well. “Pirate Captain Simon Eriksson.” He watches as Simon swallows, stepping forward to set the coins down on the countertop. He still smells like the ocean, Wilhelm notes vaguely, like sunshine and sea-salt. Ayub looks between the two of them, alarm twisting across his features until Wille sighs. “I’m not here to arrest anyone.”

obviously (M) grapehyasynth In their final year of secondary school, Simon and Wille find themselves entering a potent, secret relationship that threatens to upend both their lives. It can't last, but neither can they stop being a part of each other's lives. Over the next few years, even as everything around them changes, even as they hurt and lose each other, they keep finding themselves drawn together. Normal People AU.

Can you see me now? (T) kimmeke wilhelm needs eye surgery and has no one to help him with his recovery. he turns to his only option left: his next door neighbor simon

You're Still the One (M) queerfrogprince Simon and Wille meet on tumblr as teenagers, but when they lose contact, Simon doesn't think he'll ever hear from Wille again, much less bump into him in a supermarket in Stockholm one random afternoon. It's been five years, after all. He barely even thinks about Wille anymore. But, it seems, Wille never stopped thinking about him. Maybe it's not too late to rekindle what they had at fifteen, after all.

Hetero of the Year @girls-are-weird Prince Wilhelm is nominated for the Hetero of the Year award at the QX Gay Gala. In response, he freaks out. Simon, his popstar friend who's been pining for him for the better part of a year, worries this might mean Wille's secretly homophobic. After all, what other reason could there be for him to get so upset?

Slightly unhinged - but so worth it

Sorry this is awkward, I didn’t mean to airdrop that to you (T) @piebingo Wille accidentally airdrops his own fanfiction to a stranger in the library. (Written for the yr week 2023, the prompt of day 2: Alternate Meeting)

fighting dragons with you (T) burntromacesea “You have another knight in shining armor come to rescue you from my evil clutches and my murderous dragon,” Simon comments blandly, handing his husband a cup of coffee, “he should be here by this afternoon.” https://archiveofourown.org/works/45092605

Simon-Appreciation-Posts (T) DrogonTheDragon Wille didn't mean for it to blow up as it did. He didn’t.  … or Wille makes a secret Simon Eriksson fan account and it gets a lot more attention than he intended.

Of Dinosaurs, Unicorns and the Perfect Proposal (G) @groenendaelfic Five-year-old Wilhelm steals his Mamma’s engagement ring to propose to Simon. Linda questions her life choices.

E - Rated

One, two, three, four, five, sex on my mind (E) pagegirlintraining, TheAmberFox When Wille first sees Simon, the rest of the world simply fades away. Which would be romantic and all, if it didn’t lead to him blindly stumbling into the sex shop Simon works at. Once he figures out his mistake, it’s already too late. But Wille wouldn’t be Wille if he let that stop him from pursuing the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen. If only things didn’t keep getting in the way of his plans…

Fuck the Monarchy (E) itsme_hi_imtheproblem Simon and Wille get stuck with each other when they both intern at the riksdag. Wille is intent to just get this dreaded thing over with. Simon can't believe he of all people has to work not only with an old conservative but with the literal prince. Both are surprised by the inexplicable and inevitable pull they feel towards each other.

say my name, say it loud (E) margosfairyeye (Skittery) The argument scene in the locker room in s02e04, but this time there's sex. (inspired by how much I thought there was going to be a spicy scene when I saw Simon come out in that towel)

Three Floors Down (E) emerybemery Simon hates how he can’t keep his eyes off Wille whenever he sees him. He hates how Wille seems to stare back at him with a borderline intoxicating intensity.

A Marvellous Time Ruining Everything @earlgrey-lateatnight Henry accidentally witnesses an intimate moment between Wille and Simon. How will they deal with the fallout?

The darker stuff Watch out for the trigger warnings and tags.

when you find me, let me in (G) paintersong Simon winced with guilt as Wille’s wide eyes traced his laptop. “Crown Prince Wilhelm Denies Involvement in Viral Sex Video” glared back, and Wille blinked, stepping away from the screen, away from Simon, away from the sting of betrayal.

Everybody loves you now (M) lc2l International pop sensation Simme has announced on Instagram that he will be celebrating the end of his sold out world tour with five consecutive shows in Stockholm starting TONIGHT and running through the week. This will be his first extended stay in Sweden in four years, since he graduated from high school and flew to L.A. to sign a record deal. And what is Wilhelm supposed to do with that.

In Another Life (E) @ungaroyals Wilhelm never returned to Hillerska after winter break, and he has spent his entire life regretting it. Nearly a decade later, he runs into Simon. He had hoped he'd successfully moved on from his feelings after all these years, but clearly, he was wrong. The two spend a passionate night together, expecting it to be their last. That is until it happens a second time when the two come arrangement that suits both their needs. Friends with benefits? No, they'd have to actually be friends for that to be the case. So this is it for this year. I must confess I did not have time to read everything. So if you have things that are missing in this list put them in the comments please. I also don't know everyones tumblr, so feel free to share with your mutuals.

The list from 2022 you can find here

[antianakin]

Hi, do you have any fic recs for Clone War fics where Ahsoka (and possibly Rex?) recognize that Anakin is a bad general/Jedi? I recently started rewatching TCW after my last time watching it, back when I was still a preteen, and I'm just shook at how much of an asshole and horrible general Anakin is?? I am quite literally on episode 6 of season!

Most of these are taken straight from my previous fic rec list specifically for anti-Anakin fics (there's others in there where other characters like Obi-Wan, Padme, and Fives figure out Anakin's a piece of shit too if that's up your alley).

and the tide rises, the tide falls series by blackkat: This one probably is going to fit your request the most since there is a LARGE focus on Rex and Ahsoka coming to terms with the Tusken massacre and what this means about who Anakin truly is and their relationships with him.

Wasted Training by TheSecondBatgirl: This one has Ahsoka getting some revelations about that training Anakin gave her in TOTJ being perhaps not so great.

The Burden of Secrets by Peppermint_Shamrock: This might be more Anakin-positive than you were looking for, but it deals with Ahsoka finding out about the Tusken massacre and how she deals with that. It also is set just after the Rako Hardeen arc, so there's some mentions of how Anakin isn't managing his feelings about that in a healthy way, too.

"... if you remain his student" by peppermint_shamrock: This one fits within the "Clone Wars" timeline by a hair since it is set DURING Order 66 in an AU where the Wrong Jedi arc doesn't happen (or Ahsoka just didn't leave, I can't remember) and so she's at the Temple when Anakin marches on it with the 501st. Ahsoka has to come to some VERY quick realizations about her master and doesn't get long to really dwell on it.

The next two are not TECHNICALLY set "during the Clone Wars" because one is set post-Order 66 and one is a happy fix-it AU set post-war. I am including them because they do definitely have storylines about Rex and/or Ahsoka having to come to some realizations about Anakin, but they don't technically fit your request.

Slices of Happiness series by kj_feybarn: This one is focused more on Obi-Wan, but there's some stuff in here about Rex coming to some realizations about Anakin, too.

The Greater Crime by kj_feybarn: This is set post-Order 66 in an AU where Rex and Ahsoka meet up with Obi-Wan and Padme and they all go on the run together, so obviously Rex and Ahsoka find out the truth about what Anakin's done pretty quickly and struggle with that revelation. It also has a follow-up fic Cruel by TheStageManager that's more Ahsoka focused.