#'that's just because it's very common' i think the majority of australians don't have a religion actually

[adiffident]

I am once again reading fics from recommendation lists and honestly no shade to the writers but if your writing about other cultures don't you do your research?? because it's very painful reading ships were one person is supposed to be german-ish or multilingual and you just have to put it down because it's painfully inaccurate

public transportation in Germany is generally pretty shitty, nothing's on time and trains also just sometimes don't arrive

Honestly if your character is a professor from a german university town he will not praise the efficiency of the U-Bahn in comparison to the New York subway because his city doesn't have a U-Bahn??

Some people think germany is digital heaven but that is not the case. It's very far behind in internet speed and digital equipment in schools and unis

Your professor cannot complain about blackboards 😭, especially if he teaches poetry. No, white boards are not more common. Like I'm a comp sci major and we have white boards in our building but all other lecture halls have blackboards and if I have my classes in the humanities or math department there's just blackboards??

Of course the equipment of the schools and unis is also dependent on state funding, donations and location but come on

People speak English, good English. Pretty much every non-British/American/Canadian/Australian etc. person speaks English, so keep up

Sometimes I try to force myself to keep reading because of the time period but no, making someone practically infantile while speaking English is fucking weird

Also just writing accents into the words is fucking weird and the way in which they're written doesn't make sense

(I also read a fic where the "Russian" accent just was german?? Google translate is free?? And also as a slavic person: what the fuck? There is a difference between da/ja and @ the people thinking slavic languages and german are equally harsh gibberish my relatives think my accent is "harsh" because I have a german one)

Also @ people incorporating german snippets into fics don't use the formal "you". I guess Americans don't learn different languages but formal pronouns are actually pretty common in most languages

Dirty talk in german is not sexy. It just isn't

Writing a modern AU with a German jew is very funny(but also very much not) because there are so few few jews in Germany today.. ever heard of the holocaust? Yeah european jews faced genocide and not just the German ones. I guess as an American it's pretty common to meet jews but that literally has a reason(!!!)

German people are also as a majority atheists or just christian-ish. Making someone fanatically catholic is weird (but more accurate if they're from Bavaria). Generally evangelism is more common

If you make someone speak another language *like so* using English idioms doesn't make sense (I always translate in my head and it doesn't work)

And accidentally "switching languages" like in fics doesn't happen or just if you are in an environment where you have to constantly switch between and translate multiple languages and are very tired but you realize mostly immediately

Knowing all vocabulary isn't realistic. Your vocabulary is dependent on the context for which you use those languages, so you can translate some stuff immediately but I mostly know the meaning of vocabulary separately but can't translate on the spot

...

Yeah I just can't read most fics ... :/

[yeli-renrong]

When Ken Hale sent the Jabugay tape, he'd urged me to try to find aspeaker of Barbaram, the apparently aberrant language that Lizzie Simmons had declined to speak to us. Certainly Dyirbal and Jabugay had very normal Australian grammar and vocabulary, not radically different from the Western Desert language, almost two thousand miles away. But from the few words that Norman Tindale had published of Barbaram, that language looked really different.

People at Mareeba had mentioned Albert Bennett, at Petford, and early one Sunday morning I set out to try to locate him. I followed the winding bitumen road through Mareeba to Dimbulah, a small Italian-dominated town whose main crop was tobacco, usually with a few fields of marijuana hidden away round the back. From there it became a faint sandy track with no signposts at all. ...

Albert was an oldish, square-framed man with curly grey hair. He was sitting stolidly on a bench just outside his open front door. I introduced myself, but he really wasn't very interested. He didn't remember any Barbaram language, but who'd want it anyway? What good was it?

Now Stephen Wurm had prepared me for questions of this sort. Don't talk about universities, Wurm had said, they won't know what they are. Tell them you come from the museum in Canberra. Everyone knows what museums are, and everyone thinks they are good things. Say you want to put their language in the museum because it's something important. So that it can be preserved - one day their grandchildren can come and listen to it, and see how the old people spoke.

I tried this line on Albert Bennett and he seemed to soften a little. But he still sat quietly chewing on a piece of grass, on the end of the wooden bench, just in the shade. I stood in the sun and hoped. Finally he volunteered a word.

"You know what we call 'dog'?" he asked. I waited anxiously. "We call it dog." My heart sank - he'd pronounced it just like the English word, except that the fInal g was forcefully released. I wrote it down anyway. ...

Barbaram was still a major priority. Following Albert Bennett's suggestion, I'd located Mick Burns, living with his daughter's family in a house on tall stilts at the south end of Edmonton. He was a tall, light-skinned man, very old. He hadn't thought about his language in years, and didn't think he could help me. But I persisted, mentioned a few of the words Albert had given, and he grudgingly thought a bit. Mick Burns sat on the top step, leaning against the door frame, and I squatted on the step below. He remembered twenty-seven words. ... When I did go back the next week, he declined to talk at all. He'd done a bit of thinking, he said, and could remember nothing else. I'd have to go back to Albert.

At her suggestion, I had telephoned Mrs McGrath and asked her to pass on a message to Albert about when I was planning to come, so that he wouldn't go out fishing. Albert seemed quite happy - if not pleased - to see me, and made room for me to sit on the bench with him, out of the sun.

"I don't think I can help you much more ," he said, when I told him about Mick. "I did remember three more words, but I can't think of them now. Oh, heck." ...

Four years later, when I was spending a year at Harvard and first met Ken Hale, he pointed out that the e and o had developed in Mbabaram in the same sort of way as in some languages he had worked on from further up the Cape York Peninsula. An a in the second syllable of a word had become o if the word had originally begun with g. So from guwa "west", Mbabaram had derived wo. We were sitting on a beach near Gloucester, Massachusetts one Sunday in September when Ken suddenly saw the etymology for dog "dog". It came from an original gudaga, which is still the word for dog in Yidin (Dyirbal has shortened it to guda). The initial g would have raised the a in the second syllable to o, the initial ga dropped and so did the final a (another common change in the development of Mbabaram). Ergo, gudaga became dog ­- a one in a million accidental similarity of form and meaning in two unrelated languages. It was because this was such an interesting coincidence, that Albert Bennett had thought of it as the first word to give me.

R. M. W. Dixon, Memoirs of a Field Worker

[literaticat]

Hello Jennifer! I found your podcast just a few weeks ago and I am loving it. I wrote a picture book and would love to get it published, however, I am Colombian. I can find lots of information about the publishing world in English and thus stared to look for agents and publishers in the US, nevertheless, it is hard to find a space as a white Colombian because it seems as if I do not fit either as a minority nor a majority. Any recommendations?

Thanks for the kind words about the podcast. It's been a lot of fun to do (though I am blessedly on hiatus now, because it's also a lot of work and a pain in the ass to do, lol.) I'm trying to reimagine it a bit because I've been stuck in a rut; perhaps there will be a new "season" at some point later this year. BUT ANYWAY.

I have a lot of things to say about this but I'm just not sure which apply to you. So sorry if this is all over the place!

I'd say at first: In terms of getting an agent or publishing deal, it doesn't really matter where you live, it matters if you are writing to the market you are trying to sell to. We have clients who live all over the world -- what they have in common is, they are writing books that have appeal in the USA.

In other words -- whether you live in Colombia or Australia or Zimbabwe, if you are writing in English and writing things that American publishers want to publish, they don't really care where you live, unless it is a country that the US doesn't do financial transactions with because of sanctions or something of that nature (that might be a problem).

The thing is: SOMETIMES people in other countries AREN'T writing things that American publishers want to publish. There are some very successful Australian writers, for example, who do well in the US also -- but there are probably a lot MORE Australian authors that are writing Very Australian books that might do quite well in their country, but don't have the same appeal in the US. That doesn't mean the books aren't good! It just means... the US and Australian cultural experiences and expectations etc etc are quite different, despite seeming similarities. And that is OK. Not everything is gonna translate (in either direction, I'm sure they don't want most of our books either!)

Another thing: It's also very hard for AMERICANS to sell picture books to American publishers. I think the difficulty "finding a space" in publishing has more to do with the fact that it's really hard to break into publishing, and less to do with your nationality, the color of your skin, or where your home is located. Not to say that those might not be hurdles at all -- but they aren't the BIGGEST hurdle.

(This is why most picture book writers don't just write ONE book, they work on several at a time, because you have better odds with more things out there! Even some very successful US authors don't sell EVERY picture book they write, this is just a fact.)

I also wonder - is English your native language / you are totally fluent? Or do you write in Spanish and translate? Or what? Because, well. If you write in Spanish -- there are publishers in Mexico and South America (and Spain!) as well. I don't know a lot about publishing in other countries but I do know they have books. And those avenues might be worth investigating, too.

Good luck!

[oftarotandnoodledragons]

Sixty-Three: Page of Cups (Reversed)

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. - Steve Jobs

It's the last day of September as I begin to write this, though possibly my calendar on the blog is still set to Australian time. The equinox has been and gone, and this onset of the greater night has seemed to provoke a greater application of the esoteric with me in the past: March through May in the southern hemisphere was when most of my blog posts were made in the past, and now that I'm in the northern, it seems that has also taken to the reversed season. However, it is also this time of year, regardless of season, that I've associated with being more emotional, and this increase of spirituality and emotion does play hand in hand with the Cups. But why, then, has the Page emerged Reversed?

For this question to be relevant, let me start the analysis. The Page of Cups is the third to appear so far, and just like the other two, it's templated, as will the Page of Swords be. Bunning and Thirteen implement them; arguably Bunning moreso, as she uses the same basic structure for her analysis and changes words in and out. This isn't a negative, though, as I've come to appreciate: these templates seem to be the way in to the Court Cards because they can be somewhat hard to understand otherwise.

Thirteen's templates are more discrete, and forms the basis of my analyses of the Court Cards. So, in the case of Page, it represents three things: a child or child-like person, a message, or a time/environment. Bunning, despite her brevity, focuses on the message aspect of a Page, and interprets the message to be one to act upon a suit's energies, or an Ace's promises. This is like I said for the Page of Wands, but in this case the message is to be "emotional", "intuitive", "intimate", and "loving". Thirteen is more pragmatic with his approach to the message, keeping it to the themes of the Cups: family matters, matters of the heart, intuition or creative endeavours. The last point is very much in Brigit Esselmont's views (and given that I use "Bunning" rather than "Joan", I'll try to remember her surname), with creativity being at the heart of her interpretations. She doesn't break her cards into quite as blunt elements like Bunning and Thirteen does, but even she mentions similar messages to Thirteen. The time/environment aspect really filters through much of the rest of her interpretations, though, with creativity being a focus of much of it: undertaking creative pursuits being a major part of that thread. Bunning, though, is far more broad with an interpretation of "suffuse with the spirit of love and emotion", and to "express and enjoy one's feelings"; however, Thirteen focuses purely on the love and romantic aspect, saying "puppy love and crushes". Fairchild talks about things not going as one hoped and to be open to alternatives and changes of plan — an environment perhaps relating to the volatility of water, but not exactly something that I would associate with this card. Paschkis follows the romantic bent: her page is on one knee proposing with a flowers and a Cup in their outstretched hand.

I want to go back, though, to the core message of Bunning's interpretation: to be emotional, intuitive, intimate and loving (although not necessarily all of those simultaneously), and a common, perhaps traditional, way of viewing a Court Card, and that's representing a person. So, an emotional, intuitive, intimate, loving person; but, as Thirteen cautions, this is tempered (there's that word again) by this card's "immaturity". Even Fairchild mentions "beware of childish behaviour". Bunning just glosses this over (someone with whom one's "interactions involve emotional needs, moodiness, love, intimacy and spirituality"), and Esselmont says nothing at all, which leaves Thirteen to unravel this personality. He describes an "airy-fairy" adult who isn't taken seriously, or a daydreamer that's hard to motivate with the mundane, or someone who is touched by the suffering of creatures, or who gives creative gifts to others partly out of great care of their opinion, or a great storyteller with an active imagination that could be over-active. Viewing these, I definitely see a child-like person: my own childhood. I had a very over-active imagination, I told stories, and believed in my own video-game inspired fairy tales long after others my age would have given these things up; yet, this put me in great stead for my own creative works of fanfiction through my later teen years and my early twenties. Just the other day, an old friend contacted me and showed me a vignette of something he wrote in honour of that time.

And were this card Upright, that would be my conclusion of the current energies. Like all of my cards that I've pulled since reviving the project, though, it's Reversed. So what does it mean, really? Is it something, or someone along the lines of Thirteen's immature emotional energies, of someone who brings others down with their depression, over-exposes their vulnerabilities and emotional sensitivity, throws tantrums when they don't get their way, or an adult with Peter Pan syndrome with unrealistic dreams about the future? Part of these descriptors have been modified with Esselmont's interpretations, as the Reversed aspect is where she talks about the personal aspect of the Page of Cups. That aside, while my more (very) self-critical eye would point this out and say, "yep, that's me alright", I don't feel that's necessarily grounded in reality and thus not what I feel is right. Esselmont also mentions keeping creative projects to oneself or doubting one's abilities; no, not that either.

Is there something from my Page of Cups childhood coming to the fore here that's being Blocked, then? Quite possibly, but not the whole picture. A big aspect of this card's energies that I've paid little mention to has been that of intuition, rather of being intuitive, and I think that's where it feels right. Upright, Esselmont talks about curiosity and the weirdness of following one's intuition, signified by the fish in the Cup; Reversed, it's a block to one's intuition, putting that into the light of being unable to tell if it's one's ego talking instead. That's kind of what I'm feeling at the moment. I mean, I probably could have done this blog sooner and moved on to the next card, but "what if it's The Tower" is what I was thinking, especially with Hurricane Ian passing through Florida — for sure, I would have had an even worse sense of dread were that card in my mind. So that was my ego coming into play for sure; but I feel there's more to it than that. Much of me writing this analysis has been my intellect rather than my intuition, and it's been very dry — I mean, discussing the templates, for example. Yet, this link to my childhood energy that was prompted from my writing, is also something from another Tarot reading that I followed thanks to Ediya, where she discussed dealing with feelings — emotions — from childhood of not being enough, of not being good enough. And I feel that, and that's part of the big Gordian Knot that I'm trying to untangle to move forward with my life. While I feel like I am getting somewhere with this self-examination, I feel like there's something in the way of the intuitive messages from that reading. What it is, I don't entirely know, but it's signified by this card.

Perhaps Fairchild has the last word here: amongst encouraging independence, others not understanding feelings and not letting emotions overpower, he says: "Patience wins in the end". And that's the lesson I'm going to take away from this card: to remain patient, and to not go for "the easy win".

Thus we head on to The Empress. And like the other cards of late, it's Reversed. Something tells me, my intuition perhaps, that I'm going to find some answers here.

[werevulvi]

Has radical feninism improved your life at all? What do you get out of it that other subbranches of feminism or trans activism don't give or offer?

You know what? Sometimes I ask myself the same question, lmao. It's a harsh branch, and I find myself unhappy with it as I have with any other ideology. But despite that, I still hold onto radfem, at least half-assedly. Because despite the greviances I may have with some of it, it is the only branch of feminism that is based on reality. The harsh, painful reality that tries to break me down. And I guess keeping my chin up in that sorta weather makes me feel stronger and more powerful.

Radfem helped me forgive myself for being female, and to dig into my internalised misogyny, which helped me find self-love. That is invaluable. Although that's not saying I think I owe radfem in any way. It also made me more angry at the world and feeling more trapped and hopeless. Because if I can't escape my female sex, then wtf can I even do? And can I even cry "misogyny" when I'm being rejected things I always thought I could take for granted as a woman/girl, perhaps even discriminated against, based on my masculine appearance? Or is it all my fault?

I felt my internalised misogyny get better after tons of self-therapy and healing, only to feel it again plummet to the bottom again, when I noticed that I'm being treated on some kind of a mass scale just for the way I look. Can feminism help me? Is that selfish of me to even utter? Who knows. I am not a collective of common women's issues to bring to the table. I am just me. Me and my stupidly unique issues.

But what I need to remember is that my suffering is none of radfem's fault. It only opened my eyes. I knew I might likely hate what I'd see if I did. Yet, I still chose to open my eyes. What depresses me is patriarchy, and frankly trans activism and it's near constant putting sticks in my wheels.

It might be petty, but to me, understanding that biological sex is immutable is not only the scientifically correct understanding of biology, but also the most logical one, but perhaps most of all... it's the only thing I can base my womanhood on. Trans activism is incredibly quick to discredit me as a woman because I transitioned and don't like "looking like a woman" (I dunno what that looks like, but I know it's not how I look) because they deem it transphobic to base womanhood (or manhood) on biological sex. Even when I do not even discredit trans women as women. (I mean I kinda do, but not like publically. I tread around that topic like a sleeping wolf.)

Honestly, I'm way too much of a nihilist (realist/pessimist) to even be able to hope that patriarchy can be torn down, within my lifetime or ever, so in regards to making real life changes... feminism is kinda pointless. The world is just too rotten. But I guess I see it as that I'd rather die trying, you know.

Although my allegiance to radfem specifically is waning. I don't like the collectivism part of it, nor do I like most suggested solutions like the Nordic model for solving the issue of prostitution (I'm a Swede, we have it here, it's awful, I'd rather vote for the Australian model.) As a starch centrist and libertarian, I also strongly disagree with the heavy socialist (not rarely even communist) thread that runs through radfem. Although I really don't care to fight others for being socialists, I just can't fully agree with that.

So with my string of rather small, but still, perpetual disagreements with probably most radfems... I'm straying all the more from the ideology as a whole. I'd say I more consider myself just a gender critical feminist nowadays. Which yeah, is probably "practically the same" for an outsider, but for someone's who's been digging around in it for a while... there's whole lotta difference between, for example Andrea Dworkin (radical feminist) and Posie Parker (gender critical feminist) and not just because the latter wears more makeup than the former did, lol. But that's not saying I'm 100% onboard with Posie's opinions either. They're both just examples.

With that all said, I think it's important for me now to take what I agree with about radfem and leave the rest behind me. Take what I like about trans activism, and leave the rest behind me. Think for myself, form my own opinions and walk my own road, come what may. I've never been much of the type that flocks or relate to whole communities.

But has radfem improved my life at all?

Yes, definitely. It taught me there's nothing wrong with being female. It taught me that womanhood has nothing to do with outward appearance or what sex stereotype you wish look like. It made me aware of my internalised misogyny, and helped me understand my sexual traumas better as well. All of that and more... helped me heal tremenduously. It made me realise that it's in being female I find all the gender comfort and stability I'll ever need... without even trying. That was groundbreaking for me, and it still is. Radfem gave me the view of womanhood that I sorely needed, which trans activism never could. And I am forever grateful for that. I said those same words 2 years ago shortly after I first detransitioned, and I will keep saying it.

I may casually call myself a "cis" woman, but it's just political and it's fun because the TRA's hate it. Someone like me openly identifying as a cis woman is exactly what the world needs... I think. Because that might actually change things. And that is... I think, probably the most impactful thing I can offer for feminism. My refusal to "look like a woman" (again, unsure what that means), yet being proudly a woman based solely on my biology. But I digress.

But point is I'm a "cis" woman by my own standards. I could never even possibly touch that label with a ten inch pole by TRA definition of it. This matters, because to them it's only trans and cis, and vast majority of people do not fit that model. No matter how much I listened to TRA's, they only ever had me spinning in circles, and radfem finally broke me free from that seemingly endless sphere. But I digress. Again. Fuck, it's 2am and I'm spiritually already asleep in bed. Was just gonna write a few sentences for a reply, I said. It will go quick, I said. Well, oh well... I think it's been an hour, and I need a smoke. So I won't proof-read this mess.

Sometimes I wonder if that's the only true "female liberation" there can be: to finally understand your trauma, and starting to defend/trand up for yourself and other women.

What radfem gave me was kind of a chance to turn my life all around, and finally transition from victim to survivor. And I think that's not a small gift. It's about the greatest thing I've ever gotten.

But please do keep in mind that I am a very multi-layered person. And most of the time I'm not even fully aware of what most of my brain is doing. Even when it’s not 2am. I'm not nearly as self-aware as I think I am, literally. I'm a bit fragmented still. Who knows what my billion different aspects and opinions are doing, but they’re surely not communicating, lmao. Alright I'mma go to sleep now. Sorry this response became so disorganised. It was a good vent though, and gave me a lot to think about, so I hope you like it.

[raintailed]

There are so many cool real-life places to turn into territories for warrior cats clans!

My mountain clans are near the blue ridge mountains, and I have another clan that is either located in NC's pocosins or maritime forests.

How cool would it be to make clans that live in places like the Sonoran desert? Or the Australian outback? And places like Isle Royale or Zion national park?

With the canon clans and my rewrite au, I've been making changes to the territories and available prey and stuff to match southern Scotland! It's really interesting to learn about the critters that live there and consider how the clans react to them and stuff.

Like, for example, I've taken notes about how ShadowClan apprentices will practice their stalking skills on common frogs, and how SC and RC cats have learned to identify poisonous newts. It's really interesting stuff to figure out.

The mountain clans are getting this treatment too. What's the weather like? What plants are common? Most importantly, how do my characters interact with non-prey animals? There are coyotes, raccoons, opossums, bears, bobcats, foxes, and more to think about.

I'm gonna have to figure out how to replace foxes and badgers as major dangers for the canon clans. Like, foxes would avoid clan territory - not only because of competition with the cats, but also because of how dangerous the clans are. Chances are, by the time a fox's scent trail is found, the animal that left it is long gone.

Then there are diseases. Rabies, for example - rabies has been eradicated from the British isles, which means that the canon clans don't have to worry about that. The mountain clans aren't located in a rabies-free area, however. If you were to introduce characters from these two groups to the concept of rabies, how would they react? I think canon cats would be super freaked out and maybe think a rabid animal is possessed, but the mountain clan cats would already know what the disease looks like and would recognize the danger of rabies.

And bobcats?? A canon clan cat would probably freak out too! Like, what is this creature?? It's like a domestic cat, but not?

Then there's human stuff. I like the idea of BloodClan being in a junkyard because, well, the very concept that monsters can die would be terrifying to a feral cat! Imagine a clan cat learning that monsters were created by twolegs, and that twolegs control them and are capable of destroying them!

Then imagine putting a ThunderClan cat in SpiderClan territory and seeing him get wigged out over abandoned twoleg stuff. Like, these cabins are different from the abandoned shack in TC's lake territory. And what if there's a broken-down old car somewhere? And the TC cat freaks out because it's a monster, but then SpiderClan's like, "it's just a car, it doesn't work," and "humans make those by the way." Then the other clans pitch in about their experiences with humans/twolegs, how ancient LaurelClan had to move because humans were literally carving out parts of the mountainside, and StormClan's stories about highways that stretch on forever. What would the TC cat think of that? He'd probably realize that twolegs aren't simply creatures with weird habits - they're essentially gods that can transform the world and defy death itself!

Anyway

That's my 3 am rambling

Sometimes it's nice to just dump ideas without trying to make them coherent

[infiniteglitterfall]

I was just reading an article about a study of Australian bisexuals that said,

"A majority of the sample, 58%, reported either high or very high levels of psychological distress, with histories of anxiety, depression, and eating disorders the most common reported diagnoses. And 67% reported they had been diagnosed with mental illness by professionals. Almost half of the respondents disclosed self-harm or thoughts about suicide within just the last two years. More than one in four (28%) had attempted suicide in their lives and 78% had thought about it."

Every single study that separates out gay and m-spec people, or gay and m-spec and a-spec people, finds that "spec" people have higher rates of these things than even our gay counterparts.

Here, they say 28% of m-spec people have attempted suicide, although 78% had thought about it.

I've been trying to track down any studies that talk more about WHY that's true. Like: do people think it's tied to our higher rates of assault and other kinds of abuse? How much of it is caused, or affected, by our constant erasure? Etc.

The article doesn't really go into detail about what the potential causes are, other than to talk a little about correlations.

But I also got curious about how the rate of m-spec suicide attempts compares to the gay and lesbian rates. Because I know that the rate of attempted suicide for trans people is 40%.

(And for trans people with disabilities, it's 54%. Same for trans people with unsupportive families; if you have a supportive family, it's 37%. If your unsupportive family is violent towards you for being trans, it's 65%. If they kick you out, it's 66%. If a religious or mental health professional tries to stop you from being trans, which is what the umbrella term of "conversion therapy" refers to, it's 58%.

Actually, I guess that gives us a great starting point for looking at "causes and conditions" of m-spec suicide attempts.

But my point was gonna be, I got curious about it because I had thought the trans suicidality rate was WAY higher than the "GLB" rate, and this means the m-spec rate is way closer to it than I had expected.

And it's really common, ime, to cite suicidality rates to illustrate how oppressed a group is, and try to get people to become allies.

But... I never see people do that specifically for m-spec and a-spec people.

So I was trying to see if the same is true for the gay and lesbian communities, and I stumbled across this interesting study.

"Social stress theories lead us to expect that compared with socially advantaged groups, disadvantaged groups are at a higher risk for mental disorders. 

"We thus hypothesized

"(1) that Black and Latino lesbians, gay men, and bisexual individuals have more mental disorders than do White lesbians, gay men, and bisexual individuals because they are exposed to more stress related to prejudice and discrimination associated with their race/ethnicity;

"(2) that bisexual persons have more mental disorders than do gay men or lesbians because they are exposed to more stress related to their experience of stigma in both gay and heterosexual communities; and

"(3) that younger individuals have fewer disorders than do older individuals because younger individuals came out in a less prejudicial social environment....

"We assessed the prevalence of psychiatric disorders in 388 lesbian, gay, and bisexual Black, Latino, and White individuals.

"Black lesbians, gay men, and bisexual individuals had lower prevalence of all disorders than did Latino and White individuals; younger cohorts had fewer mood disorders than did older cohorts [imho that's probably at least partly because they've had less time to get information or diagnoses]; bisexual persons had more substance use disorders than did gay men and lesbians; and Latino respondents attempted suicide more often than did White respondents....

"One plausible hypothesis is that a higher risk for suicide among lesbians, gay men, and bisexual individuals who are racial/ethnic minorities follows major stressful events, such as assault, abuse, or homelessness, rather than depressive or substance use disorders." [Or as well as depressive and substance use disorders.]

I'm especially interested in that part because our rates of poverty and homelessness are fucking terrible, as well as assault.

There's an m-spec convention locally this fall and I really want to do a presentation on this stuff. I think we should be armed with statistics on what our communities experience. So... don't be surprised if I post a lot more of this stuff!

Omg, I just went to grab the link to the convention, and I saw that they include a-specs!

"A conference and party for anyone attracted to more - or fewer - than a single gender.

October 12, 2019, San Francisco, California"

😍🤩🥰

[studyingkoala]

Hey! I was just wondering (as a fellow Aussie) how you buy a lot of your stationery (like muji) because I don't live near a major city and I struggle to find most of it online without crazy shipping.

Hi there! Well, I live close to the city of Sydney, so I have access to places such as Muji. But I mainly got my stationery in Japan because I lived there before. But in Australia, I get my stationery from these places:

Ebay. I would say that this is your best bet. You can find super cheap stickers, washi tape, and sticky notes here ($1-$2). Those are mainly China or Hong Kong based sellers. Also, you can find other stationery (such as everyone’s favourite mildliners, Sarasa, Pilot pens, etc.) for decent prices without the high shipping cost. These are around $2-4 each. Of course, if it’s a higher quality pen/mechanical pencil, it would cost more than that.

Amazon. Like eBay, you can also find a lot of stationery for decent prices here. Sometimes I find other things (eg. Stabilo pastel Swing Cool highlighters) that I can’t find on eBay.

Officeworks. There’s a lot of great stuff here at Officeworks! They have pretty much everything. You can find things that are popular amongst the Studyblr community, such as Pilot pens, Uni-ball, Pentel, pastel Stabilo highlighters, etc. I’ve seen mildiners on their online store (haven’t seen them in store yet.) It has a shipping cost, but you can choose the pick up option. They also have very high quality brands, such as Parker. Also they have super cute desk supplies and storage. A lot of my folders and book stands are from here.

Typo. This is one shop that I miss when I’m abroad. They’ve got super cute stuff here! The pens are aesthetically cute, but are pretty average when it comes to writing. So for practicality, I don’t recommend the pens. But notebooks, diaries, decor, storage, etc. it’s great! If you like Moleskin or Leuchtturm1917  notebooks (but find them too expensive), Typo has notebooks that are great alternative to them. They’re still slightly pricey ($20 or so), but they’re good quality and so much cheaper than Moleskin/Leuchtturm. I’ve been using one for a few years now.

Kmart. Kmart has seriously upped their game in the past years. They still maintain their super cheap prices, but their stuff has improved so much! They have really cute stationery and storage that’s worth checking out. The pastel rainbow washi tape that I always use is actually from here. I think it was $6 for the pack of 14.

Big W. Like Kmart, they have nice stationery for cheap. I’ve also seen Pilot frixion pens here. I like their storage, folders, notebooks, and sticky notes. I recently bought pastel artline pens from here.

Target. A little bit more expensive than Kmart and Big W, but again, they’ve got really cute stuff here.

Daiso. In Australia, almost everything is $2.80, but it’s still very cheap. I haven’t used their pens or highlighters before, but I’ve seen some people around use them, so I think the quality of them can’t be bad. But for me, Daiso is great for simple pen cases, folders, storage, sticky notes, stickers, and pen holders. They’ve also got some nice acrylic storages. They have acrylic drawers for makeup/stationery, but it’s very small, so I bought one just to store my stickers and small sticky notes. My main acrylic drawers (that you might see in some of my posts) was bought from eBay (Amazon also has them.)

Miniso. This only opened near me a year or two ago, I think. Like Daiso, this is another Japanese store with really cute things. I’ve seen a lot of people using highlighters/pens from Miniso. But like Daiso, I like Miniso for their pen cases, storage, etc. 

Kikki K. This is expensive, but you find it in many places. I absolutely adore their things, but I don’t shop here so much simply because it’s too expensive for me. But their stuff is adorable, unique and high quality.

Muji. I have easy access to Muji stores where I live in Australia, but I bought all my Muji things in Japan, so I haven’t needed to shop there yet. It’s there when I will come to need it though. However, if you don’t have easy access to one, I guess that your only option would be to buy it online. You can check eBay because there will probably be some there.

Kinokuniya. I don’t know where you live, but again because I have easy access to Sydney CBD, I sometimes buy my Japanese stationery (and books) from Kinokuniya. This is the only place I have seen mildliners sold in-store (in Australia.) They cost $3 each.

Rakuten/Dokodemo. These two are Japanese websites where you can find things for their original prices in Japan and you can find Japanese goods that you can’t find in other places. However, they have high shipping costs, so it would only be worth it if you buy a lot, I think. I’ve only used these when I’m desperate. Before buying on here, be sure to check eBay and Amazon first because if they have an item, it’s most likely cheaper there.

In Summary:

For writing implements and washi tape, I recommend eBay, Amazon, Officeworks. The advice I always give is: with Japanese or German stationery, you can almost never go wrong. So keep an eye out for them. Brands include: Zebra, Uni-ball, Pilot, Stabilo, Pentel, Artline, Faber-castell. You find find some of these even in Woolies (Extra tip: Woolies has $8 alternative notebooks to Moleskin/Leuchtturm notebooks that are really decent.) In Australia, German brands are found quite easily in most places. Also, the Crayola supertips are super popular amongst the Studyblr community (I’m not a fan of calligraphy so I don’t have them) and you can find those anywhere. For folders, sticky notes, deco, and storage, I recommend: Typo, Kmart, Big W, Target, Daiso, Miniso, and of course, eBay, Amazon, Officeworks. If you don’t mind pricey, but super cute and unique, Kikki K. If you’re desperate for Japanese goods, Rakuten and Dokodemo.

The important thing is to make use of what you have around you. There’s a lot of hidden gems in common Australian stores that other countries don’t have. 

I hope this was helpful and good luck!

[certifiedpestie]

The Most Destructive Termites In SEQ

New Post has been published on https://www.certifiedhomeservices.com.au/the-most-destructive-termites/

The Most Destructive Termites In SEQ

Advice and identification on The Most Destructive Termites in SEQ

Subterranean termites or white ants are a highly destructive timber pest, causing severe structural timber damage to homes and buildings in South  East Queensland  

A CSIRO Survey says almost 1 in 3 buildings have termites within their property boundary and  homes are more at risk,  if there are well established trees within 100 metres of the Homes or buildings. The reason being termites nest in Trees, some have visible nests and others nest within the tree crown.

Termite Nests in trees is very common

The Most Destructive Termites in SEQ

Termite damage to all Australian homes and buildings has increased dramatically since  1995 mainly due to construction methods eg: Concrete slab on ground construction and the phasing out of the toxic organochloride chemical under slab treatments and With the increasing use of softwoods in construction and the drop in building standards. The increased use of landscaping timbers and fencing and the destruction of their habitat and food sources. So the pressures have increased on our homes and buildings.. Termites cause in excess of a billion dollars a year damage to homes, buildings and other structures.. This is the reason you cannot get insured against damage caused by these destructive pests.

In this post i will give a full list of our Most Destructive Termites in South East Queensland and ways for you to protect your Homes. Most Termites in Australia are Subterranean Termites, which means they live underground. To identify a termite specie we rely on the soldier termites as they are the most distinguishable as most worker termites are very hard to distinguish. Starting with Subterranean termites.

We can identify the termites only by the soldier which protects the colony

NUMBER 1.Coptotermes:

These guys may not be the most destructive but by shear numbers they cause the most damage to structures in Australia. Commonly found throughout Australia - and especially in south east qld along coastal and urban areas and usually where there is gum trees . Yes Gum trees (hardwood)

There are a number 0f different species of Coptotermes throughout Australia but these White ants Cause more Damage than all the other species because they are more widespread and are a very secretive termite and don't have visible nests. There are more destructive species in Australia and if they were more prevalent it would be disastrous to Australian Homes but we will get to them later. In this map the coptotermes are found within the orange, green and brown areas so as you can see they are quite adaptable in most climates.

Coptotermes are widespread

Damage Caused by Coptotermes

This home was a young couple who had only just bought this home , they were completely devastated.

This termite will cause rapid damage to homes if undetected and are usually only found by mistake when cleaning, renovating or doors fall off. Some people say they can hear them chewing at night ,but what they are hearing is the termites communicating warning each other . They do this by shaking their heads which makes a clicking sound...Check out the video below you can hear them.

    This Homeowner only discovered termites because her door fell off

To keep them away from your home it is advisable to keep your Termite Barriers up to date and get regular Termite inspections Done.. Click on this link to find out more ways to keep them away from your Homes..

  Number 2 Schedorhinotermes .

  Schedorhinotermes are one of SEQ most Destructive Termites

Areas Found in Australia: Commonly found in South East Queensland - Mainly along the entire coast line to just below Sydney.

Nest Locations -Very Similar to Coptotermes, Schedorhinotermes generally build their nests in tree stumps, in the root crown of the living, dead and dying trees They also nest in subfloors under houses or within any enclosed areas where timber has been buried or stored in contact with the soil.

This nest was found in the subfloor and it was massive

Identification of this species is relatively easy with the soldiers and when you first find them, you can often see a major soldier (6mm in body length) and a minor soldier (4mm in body length). If you see both it is an indication that the colony is mature and there could be millions of worker termites and they can destroy homes in as little as 12 months and sometimes in a shorter time.

Schedorhinotermes sub nest behind where the hot water system was.

This specie if it was more widespread would equal or surpass the damage caused by coptotermes. We have found them in a lot of homes in Brisbane, Gold Coast and Ipswich areas and have had homes with over $100,000 worth of damage caused and even beyond repair.

These termites caused 120k worth of damage to this home

We have had them destroy hardwood and Cypress framed homes , so don't  think you are safe if your homes are constructed from these timbers. In fact our Most destructive termites hardwood is their preferred food. Even steel framed homes are at risk because there is plenty of timber elements in them.

Nasutitermes 3 .

one of the easiest termites to identify

Areas Found: Commonly found in southern areas of Queensland and NSW, ACT, Victoria and Western Australia - Found in urban areas or where trees are highly prevalent. These guys have visible nests usually in trees and ground nests which makes it a lot easier to treat and to eliminate the colony. This is probably one of the main reasons why they don't get put in the same class as the other two.

Treating Termites with Bait

    Destruction - Nasutitermes can be very destructive to buildings ,homes and other timber structures if not detected. Sometimes severe damage can occur, but not so much as the nests are usually visible. We always advise to treat visible nests as this will take the pressure off your homes. I get told by a lot of people if we leave them alone they won't come to my house but this is not advisable as termites need to feed their ever growing colony and are always foraging around for new food sources and our homes and buildings are a smorgasbourg for them.

  Nests are easy to find and treat

Visible Nests is the main reason these guys aren't classed as a major Destructive Termite, but they can cause severe damage to home if undetected.

Heterotermes 4.

  Areas found:  found throughout South East Qld, NSW, the ACT, Victoria, and southern parts of South Australia and Western Australia - Mostly found in urban areas or where  trees are highly prevalent. This termite is hard to identify and can get confused with Microcerotermes but these guys aren't classed in the major destructive category.

Nest located by fence

Nest Location - Heterotermes  will build their colony nest next to stumps, logs and in trees or other timber in direct contact with the soil where some wood decay or rotting is present.

Destructive Nature - Heterotermes  are  destructive to damp timbers and are usually found attacking fences, poles and other timber structures that have wood decay from weathering or from being in contact with the soil. This species can be confused with the less aggressive and destructive microcerotermes  species.

Both these species are found attacking retaining walls fences and landscaping timbers that are decayed and they are a smaller termite compared to the major ones.

typical damage found with Heterotermes to fences, mainly damage decayed timbers

They can cause damage to homes but it is unusual to find major damage but does happen on occasions.

This is a common sign of Heterotermes in a home with mud leads through the drywall

We recommend they get treated when found in your yard as they can cause damage to your home.

This specie is known for having strange mud leads..I have seen them making leads to nowhere..

The Last but not least Number 5 Microcerotermes..

Typical Micro nest

  Very Similar to number 4 and our least destructive out of the subterranean termites but as mentioned above they can cause damage to decayed fences, landscaping timbers and retaining walls. Generally the colonies a small compared to the other species and if you find the nest they are real easy to treat. Micros Rarely attack homes and if they do they will take a long time to do any significant damage.

  Drywood Termites...

The native drywood termite.

These were found in the Wynnum Manly area

The native drywood termite Cryptotermes primus is found throughout coastal areas and is common in most areas settled before 1940. It attacks the dead wood of living trees and timber in our homes. Colonies have up to 200 Termites and less than 10 soldiers. These Termites aren't considered a major destructive termite. Soldiers are a creamy colour, 4–6 mm long with short, thick, dark heads. Alates (winged reproductives) are pale yellow-brown with wings. They can cause damage to house stumps, flooring, skirting boards,  support beams, furniture and fences. The local drywood termite is  common in the  house stumps.

West Indian Drywood Termite Cryptotermes Brevis.

Here is one of the worlds most destructive termites and they have landed on our shores. If we find them we must report them to DAF who take over and treat them. They are trying to eradicate this species because if they get a foothold in Australia it will be a disaster. I have only found them 3 times and all have been in the Manly Wynnum areas. They can literally fly into your home and start a colony as they dont need ground contact and they get all their food needs including moisture from the timber in your homes. An indication they are in your home is the presence of Faecal Pellets.

west indian droppings

Lets just hope they can get rid of these guys because they can cause some serious damage.

AUSTRALIA'S MOST DESTRUCTIVE TERMITE (THE SUPER TERMITE)

Mastotermes_darwiniensis

Mastotermes darwiniensis, some of the names they go by, giant northern termite, the super termite and Darwin termite, and it is mainly found only in northern Australia. It is the most primitive termite alive. They have been found a few times in SEQ but let's hope they don't make it to our homes in SEQ. And they are hungry blighters and will eat just about anything and have been known to eat rubber tyres, leather, hide, plastic or electrical cables and even bitumen. These guys are the reason there is hardly any crop farming up north. Well that's about it for our destructive termites and we all have to be Vigilant at keeping our homes safe from these destructive pests because they do not discriminate they will quite happily destroy any building given the chance.

[generousbouquetchopshop-us-blog]

The only thing that we know for certain in life is that all of you reading this right now and myself will DIE. (NOT tonight - I just mean at some point in our lives - this is NOT a terrorist attack - believe me, I do NOT have malicious or evil intentions - well in my opinion at least, but sometimes our perception of ourselves differs to how others perceive us - but does that really matter? All I care about is what I think about myself) Wait, Hang On I Lied. There's one more certainty in life. That you and I are human beings. (Well, I do hope so. After all, I only know who I am. And only you know who you are) Yes I tried my best to think of an engaging first liner to grab your attention. (And if you're still reading this now - it must have worked!) I was just worried with all the 'clutter' and 'competition' out there that you could potentially miss this. And yes that's also why I have the photo of a cute baby. And also because we were all once babies at some point in our lives (well unless you came out another way which is not a certain opening in a female body) And before you amazing security officers out there, Who work super hard to protect your citizens, Even on the weekend (which is meant for rest with family) (and shout out to everyone in Australia who still worked today on Mother's Day -your sacrifice of your treasured time which could have been spent with your Mother (the technical economic term is opportunity cost - in case you were wondering - yes I know you all are secretly nerds) Will never be forgotten) Ok so back to you security officers Think of shutting this down, I assure you that this is NOT a security threat. It is NOT an act of cyber terrorism. 'So what is it then?' - you find yourself thinking (Yes I am a mind reader) Today marks a turning point in the course of mankind. Today marks a day that hope is restored in the world. What you are seeing today will be written in history books for future generations to come. We will make it in a Guinness World Record Book for 1. The most number of people clicking going on a facebook event 2. The most number of people posting on a facebook event page 3. The most number of people sharing the same message across social media I know what you're thinking. Well this girl sounds 'ambitious' Which were common responses I got Well yes, This is 'ambitious' I think so too But 'ambitious' and 'reality' are NOT mutually exclusive (is this the right term? I always struggled with probability in maths) But it's going to happen - keep reading on if you would like to see how history is going to be made :) (But technically, history is being 'made' every single day by each and every one of us just be being alive - even going to the toilet and eliminating waste is technically 'making' history) Every single person in the world will eventually receive my message. (And news outlets out there! Please choose a decent photo of me [ie. not one where my armpit hair is showing] Actually, I don't mind if you can find a photo of me with armpit hair. (Yes - that's a challenge!) (We all have hair - I don't see what's the big deal) (Why would you want to see a photo of me with armpit hair when you can just strip yourself down [yes I put this in just for you - you know who you are xD] and just lift up your arm and VOILA!!! Hair before your very eyes!!!!! ) (I'm actually super hairy In my opinion For a girl) Also, I'm going to keep on ranting about this (again, PMS is a real thing for the female population - have sympathy for us fellas!) Another thing I do not understand is why we must wear clothes And in some places in the world, Such as Australia, We can actually get charged with a criminal offence (and maybe be put in gaol) For stripping down in certain public places (with some exceptions such as nude beaches which are mainly filled with elderly people right now - I reckon we can diversify that a little) And showing our 'private parts' (but are our 'private parts' really even that 'private' after all if we all have them? (well I know it differs between females and males)) but yeah - and some of us have unique bodies - either born naturally or through operations - I respect that - it's your life and you choose how you would like to live it - and which gender you would like to live as and which private parts you would like to have) And in some places like Australia, Myth has it that the bigger something (something in a similar shape to a sausage) is The more masculine a male is Well to me, that's absolutely bullshit I don't know how these 'myths' even originated! All sizes are beautiful to me! Ok, so back to me and armpit hair: I filled in one of my friends' survey about hair and shaving yesterday. Why is shaving a thing anyways? We all have hair on our bodies (well some more than others but we all do) Why is it often socially unacceptable for girls have to have cleanly shaven armpits when they wear sleeveless tops or dresses? And why is often socially acceptable for males to not shave?? Now that is gender discrimination to the max! Why is this NOT written in the Discrimination Act in Australia?? (or maybe it is - I have to admit I haven't read it - and I highly doubt that my fellow Australian peers have either - but apologies! If it is in there!) And on that note of Discrimination, It is so real And close It still happens today in the 21st century!!! Right here in Australia This week, I had the privilege of talking to a beautiful Indigenous lady I've always been curious of Indigenous Australian culture (do you know that Indigenous Australian culture is the oldest surviving culture in the entire world???) WOW Because I certainly didn't know this. If Australia was a person And let's just say I was that person for theoretical purposes I would go around showing that off I would tell everyone I would tell the entire world I would be super proud of that I would make sure the entire world knows (but why doesn't the entire world know?- well maybe it's only me who is oblivious and ignorant and unaware - and maybe all of you do know this - please correct me if I'm wrong) Ok, so yeah. This beautiful Indigenous lady (and I do remember your name - I just want to make sure I respect your privacy before I decide to put your name here for the world to see because there's no way that I have been able to contact you) Said her dream was to become a cook (yes you go girl!) And she applied for a cook job recently. She was called in for an interview. But as soon as she showed up, They told her the position had been filled Now if that isn't discrimination to the max, I don't know what you call that I was super angry when I heard this. Now those of you who know me know that I don't normally get angry It takes quite a bit to get Leeann angry (I give off the impression of being a calm, controlled, sweet, pure and innocent girl) If I was present at the time, I would've taken those café owner(s) to court. And sue you for breaching the Discrimination Act Because the legislation is real and it is properly enforced (well I don't work in the legal field so I actually wouldn't know) But nothing in the world (I believe) cannot be resolved with Honest and open Communication. Just by opening our mouths and making some sounds (I think that's what we call a language), Together, we can solve any problem And we must learn to be accountable And take responsibility for our own actions Like a girl (why do we tend to say man? Are we trying to imply that females are less brave than men? My fellow female population Let's band together and prove them wrong -Trust me boys, you never mess with girls, We will make sure You Rue For The Rest Of Your Life Until The Moment You Die :) [just kidding XD- no I'm not kidding here] Yes, we must take responsibility for our own actions like a girl (I remember seeing a campaign trying to challenge gender stereotypes a couple of years back - that was awesome! I forgot what it was called though but I do remember it so it means it was effective) And I will illustrate this with something we all do -fart. Why do we feel the need to suppress our urges to fart? If you stink up a room with your own smelly gas, Then at least do it proudly! Make it as loud as possible! And admit it was you! And apologise maybe! OR, if that's too scary for you, I have another suggestion which has largely been inspired by one of my close mates (who I'm sure would probably appreciate it if I don't name and shame them - your very welcome in advance =D) This is no magic but You simply tell the person you're talking to or the people around you that you need to fart And head outside To do the deed. Then walk back in. And continue with your life. Easy. See, life isn't at all that complicated is it? (I know! I'm a genius!!!) Prior to my launch tonight, I shared my initiative 'Die To Live' with some fellow peers. I had many people who doubted me. But I also had many people who had absolute faith. Now, I don't blame those of you who I spoke to and doubted me. If someone told me that at Sunday 9pm on the 13th of May, 2018, Hope will be restored in the world, That the world will be changed And that it will be a major event in history, I will look at them And think they're nuts! (And no, in case you were wondering, I don't mean the pecan nut, macadamia nut, or peanut) And some of these people also looked like they wanted to lock me up in a mental health hospital. But what does it even mean to be 'mentally ill?' Am I considered 'crazy' just because I have different opinions that nobody else seems to have? Does that make me 'mentally ill?' (Correct me if I'm wrong, but in my humble opinion, that just means I'm a human being) While we're on the topic of 'mental illness,' Check out the School of Life and one of their recent videos Called something along the lines of - why the modern society makes us mentally ill I watched it over breakfast yesterday and could not agree more (i promise that this is not paid advertising/product placement or whatever we choose to call it) Because it's so good that I voluntarily choose to 'advertise' for them The School of Life does not need any paid marketing (yes you girls are awesome!) But at the same time, Yes, I get you. I wouldn't believe it either Until I see it unfold Before my very eyes Myself. But I certainty would not lock someone with different thoughts to mine in a mental health hospital, away from the rest of society. I would simply respect their opinion, try to understand and empathise from their point of view and then move on with my life. And I also had one special 'case.' You know who you are. You're the person I bumped into and didn't think I was 'insane' but instead thought I was plotting to commit suicide at 9pm Sunday May 13th and then upload 13 videos onto Facebook with each video incriminating a different person who lead me to end my life. -Just like the TV series - 13 reasons why Oh you funny!! (but I'm even funnier xD) But you had faith in me and that's all that matters :D Life is NOT a Television series!!! (For those of you who don't know what a TV is - it is essentially a virtual reality -trust me though, it's nothing special - and you're not missing out - because you're living your own reality instead - and I believe that is infinite times cooler than watching someone else's) But what I don't understand is why some of you who doubted me had absolute faith in science. (I'm not throwing shade here [or am I? - well too bad too sad because you'll never know what goes through my mind] but Shout out to that person I had an extremely heated intense friendly 2 hour banter sesh about science and religion a couple of days ago) Those words you used cut me But I forgive you Because I know you didn't mean it Because, in my humble opinion, science is a belief system in itself based off faith. For example, most of us in today's era believe that the Earth is round. And this is 'proven' to us through science. But until I personally travel up into space and view the Earth from a distance with my own very eyes, I refuse to believe this as an absolute 'truth.' (but even then, I may not even trust my own eyes - they could be lying to me - I could just be hallucinating) We often like to think we are 100% certain of many things in our everyday lives. Perhaps uncertainty makes us feel uneasy. In my opinion, we dislike uncertainty. Which is why we try to structure our lives and lock ourselves in some kind of routine to try and eliminate uncertainty (but this is simply NOT possible in my opinion - the only certainty in life is death - but even that's not even certain) Who said we should eat 3 meals a day - Breakfast Lunch And Dinner (for those of you who don't know what I'm rambling on about - because I'm aware you may or may not have ever eaten a proper meal (yet) - they're just names some of us use to tell ourselves when we should eat) Wouldn't hunger be a better indicator of when to eat instead of locked in time periods? And who said that we should aim for 5 serves of vegetables and 2 serves of fruit per day or something along those lines? (Yes it's a rhetorical question - I know who - 'official' nutritional guidelines or something I think) Because for me, if I know that the only certainty in life is death I would rather eat what I want to eat If I enjoy the taste of it But at the same time, it is all about the 'balance' (as Katherine Du likes to say) (there will be more on food and eating in the second part of my 'story' -I'm not going to tell you all of it now -just to make sure you keep reading heeeheheheee) And who decided that humans should sleep once a day? And it has to be at nighttime? And who came up with the guidelines that children need about 9-10 hours of sleep per night And that adults need about 6-8 hours per night? (Yes I know - it is scientifically 'proven' - but how did you scientists come up with these numbers? In saying this, I have the most utmost respect for you scientists -I'm just curious -it's hard work working in labs -I have some mates studying science/medicine and they tell me about their 4 hour lab sessions When I heard this, I was angry Because That's torture! Abuse of human rights!! Because I get hungry every 2-3 hours!!!) Wouldn't sleepiness and fatigue be more appropriate signals of when to sleep? Mum, I know you will read this. I did tell you that your friend's daughters will probably read my 'story' first Then tell their parents Then they will call you up And tell you to read this. (I wasn't at all wrong about that was I?) I have to main things I would like to say to you mummy: 1. Happy mother's day! 2. I love you Remember two nights ago when I got home and slept at 7pm Without eating dinner? And you were upset the next morning that I didn't eat your food? I apologise again if I hurt you, But I feel like it was not that necessary to 'lash out at me' when I asked (just innocently out of curiosity): Who decided that humans should eat 3 meals a day? OK so back to the science and religion 'friendly banter' I had Once again, the only certainty in life is death. (and I will repeat this numerous times throughout my 'story' just to annoy you - <3 - I challenge you to count how many times I mention that - and maybe there will be a prize for the person who gets the right number or gets closest to the right number! - just like those jelly bean in a jar guessing competitions! - just kidding - I'm not serious on this one - I can't be bothered to count myself - I have bigger fish to fry ;)) People thousands of years back were 100% certain that the Earth was flat. But they were somehow 'proven' to be 'wrong'. Now we (or just me) are 100% certain that the Earth is round. So in my humble opinion, we can only 'disprove' things but never 'prove' things. We merely get less 'wrong' each time round (Manson, 2016) But we are never 100% 'right.' Anything is possible. (Well maybe besides eternal life beyond Earth - but even that is not 100% impossible) So, an anonymous person who wishes not to be named recently brought to my attention how Fast the world is changing around us. For example, Facebook was invented in 2004 - it's only been 14 years - but I seem to hardly remember any parts of my life without Facebook in it) Wikipedia was launched in 2001 (and I didn't get this one from Wikipedia) (I don't know how I wouldn't 'survived' all those assignments without you! Thank you Jimmy Wales and Larry Sanger! And bless all you other inventors out there who invented something useful to humanity! Again, bless you all who believed me without needing to see it happen. You know who you are. I will never forget how you made me feel. There is nothing that fuels the human spirit like faith. (unless it's more alcohol) Complete And Utter Faith. Even my mother who raised me for 19 years and whom I crawled out of her (something - let's just say body) Doubted me. Yet some of you had utter and complete faith in me within minutes of talking to you for the very first time. And I reiterate again (mum, I'm not throwing shade at you here) If I had a daughter and she told me she's on a quest to change the world this Sunday at 9pm on Mother's Day, I (I don't know what I would do but I would probably not believe her) So….back to how Every single person in the world will eventually receive my message. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'read' because I am also aware that language translation will be needed. TIP: Try copy and pasting this into google translate! (man technology does wonders!!!) And also because not all of us are blessed to be taught how to read. As to why I chose to use English, It's because it just happens to be the language I'm most fluent in. And also because, for some reason, English also happens to be the 'universal' language used across the world. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'see' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to see. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'listen' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to hear. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'smell' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to smell. (this doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm saying today because in my humble opinion, I don't think we can smell a story??? - well feel free to prove me wrong - nothing is certain in life besides death. TBH (to be honest), I just wanted repetition for a couple of lines because I learnt in high school English, that it will help deliver my message across) And I also say 'eventually' because not everyone in the world as it currently stands has even seen what 'technology' looks like, let alone have access to social media. That’s why I'm relying on YOU all to translate my message and communicate it to these fellow peers. I'm just one person. And I need your help. I can't do this alone (but I will if I have to -but ideally not!) So you find yourself still thinking…. 'Ok, I still have no idea what this post is about.' (Yes I am actually a mind reader) Apologies! I'm only human and I'm flawed and I do occasionally get just a little side-tracked and distracted. You're life has value. You were born for a reason. And I will prove it to you. (Yes - I remember whispering this in one beautiful human's ear a couple of days ago. This beautiful human was so selfless and looked out for me when I was not in the best state of self (this hero walked into the female toilets since I was chundering and got kicked out of security guards as a result) (this hero was prepared to take me home on a 1.5 bus ride at like 11pm at night towards a direction which was completely opposite to where he/she lived) (and this hero probably got some of my churned up mix of food and alcohol on them too - soz) (and I apologise again for that other beautiful human who I chundered on their hand -soz not soz - HAHAHA -I do mean it when I say that (now you're probably wondering which part I'm referring to [well you'll never know! Heheee - <3] ) And thank you to you too! You know who you are! I love our long-as text message chats! And that card you wrote me for my 18th last year -those words really touched me Even though we meet up like once (ok I may be using hyperbole here - I'll say twice) a year, You mean the world to me To me, friendships and relationships in general are much more than hanging out in real life, To me, friendships and relationships are more about having that emotional/spiritual connection with another human being To me, friendships and relationships are not defined by physical presence (although I do believe hanging out in real life is nice too - but life sometimes takes us in different directions - and that is not always possible) You may love another person dearly, but that doesn't mean you necessarily have to be together with a physical presence. 'True' love, in my opinion, is when you genuinely want the best for the other person And being genuinely happy to see them happy Yes that night at Metro Theatre in the city, I got kicked out by security guards within 30 minutes of going inside for a combined university event. I think (and you never trust a drunk person's memory) I had about 11 shots of straight vodka that night (looking back, that was not the best idea) Those security guards who kicked us out were not the nicest people. I know that Deep Deep Deep Deep Deep Down That you guys are beautiful people - just please bring it to the surface and show it to the world You could've been a lot more nicer. After I got kicked out and as I was walking towards Maccas (yas I love you maccas - happy meals were my childhood - why are soft serves $0.75 now? They used to only be $0.30! Inflation is a real thing! That's why I love economics! - I'm expecting a massive surge in economics students both at high school and university heheehee - economics teachers and lecturers - you are very welcome XD) In my drunken and semi-conscious state, I remember vaguely rambling on saying things like Why are people like this? Why are people so mean? Why is the world like this? And probably also crying my chunder out at the same time I was always that good straight A studious nerdy student who always did my homework on time and listened to the teacher in class. I waited till I was 18 until I had my first legal drink. (well I did occasionally have some sips of wine at home over dinner but nothing substantial until I turned 18 -unlike most Asian dads, My dad encouraged me to drink at home - he was more than happy! - you're cool dad xD - just wanted to let you know that) I was at a university first years camp when I had my first drink. I remember feeling sad because the alcohol was way too diluted -and I was too 'heavy-weight' -and I couldn't physically drink that much fluid to feel drunk because I was too full Looking back, I was probably drunk and was probably on the verge of my limit But I didn't know because I've never felt what it was like to be 'drunk' Then about a month and a half later, I went to one of my mate's surprise 18th I wanted to 'test' my 'limit' I drank as many different types of alcohol I could get my hands on Rum Vodka Soju Gin White wine Red wine Whiskey Tequila You Name It (well probs besides Maotai which is $$$$ - and we were all young dumb and broke uni students - yes Khalid I love you) And you can probably guess How my night turned out My face was in the bathroom sink for about 3 hours (well it felt like 10 minutes to me but I've realised my perception is super distorted while under the influence) Thank you to those who accompanied me for the entirety or a part of those 3 hours - I'm sure it didn't make it onto the best nights of your life list I remember feeling so ashamed after. I could not stop thinking about it for at least 3 weeks. My reputation! Like most people who chunder for the first time, I vowed that It Wouldn't Happen Again. (deep inside I knew it would because I just wasn't happy and I knew I would turn to more alcohol to distract myself from that constant emptiness but I didn't see another alternative back then) But my brother and mates weren't at all that 'wrong' when they said something along the lines of That's what they all say. Within a couple of weeks (or months - if that detail matters), I Unsurprisingly Chundered Again. And then I repeated what I said previously. And I got the same responses as I did before (kind of like déjà vu) And then the cycle kept repeating itself so many times that I lost count of how many times I chundered Because I stopped caring My 'reputation' was damaged beyond repair anyways And I was happy with the new me (the person who started to care less about what others thought of me) I was always that super good girl who was sweet, nice and 'innocent' (whatever that means) But what does it even mean to be 'innocent?' What's the definition? A lot of my friends had often commented that when they first met me I seemed like an innocent girl then they realised they were 'wrong' like super 'wrong' - completely off Does the fact that I love alcohol And the fact that I've chundered more times than I remember And the fact that I like to squeal at high pitches to the point it may cause long term ear damage (apologies to those people who I have damaged your hearing permanently) And the fact that I really enjoy raves And love waking up to hardstyle music every morning And chucking a phat (someone please explain to me why it's spelt with a 'ph' - I tried googling but I never found an answer - I guess you can't find all the answers to life's problems on google) Muzz To start my day Make me any less 'innocent'? OK so back to that night I got kicked out of Metro Theatre. It was that night when I realised you beautiful humans had my back. And I will forever have yours too. You are all beautiful. And I still remember that night like it was tonight. And I will never forget it. It is around 9pm here where I am in Sydney, Australia right now. There are approximately 7.6 billion people in this world (rounded to 1 decimal place and 2 significant figures - or 'sig figs' - I'm not talking about the dried fruit here) (according to the World Population Clock at 12:18pm yesterday - Sydney time) I may just be one girl. But one girl can change the world. If you don't believe me, I will prove it to you. (200% guarantee Just take a screenshot of this message When you visit me in gaol/jail [depending on where you live in the world] Effective for one year within today HAHAHA in case you haven't realised already, I'm only kidding) Why must we rely on legal systems and laws to protect ourselves from lies? Why can't we rely on trust instead? I realise that it's probably impractical to scrap our legal systems together -but I do reckon mixing a bit of 'trust' into the mixture won't hurt And I am aware that I live in a hole (not literally) I have lived in Sydney, Australia for most of my life Which I know is not representative of the entire world. Some of the things I talk about may make absolutely no sense to you. But I only humbly ask that you take a moment to understand what some of your fellow peers on the other side of the globe go through on a daily basis or have experienced Even if it is super foreign to you. (If you check up on the news on a regular basis, This should be no different I guess But probs maybe just a bit more 'spicy' and realistic) I'm sure you would like to same favour (or should I say flavour HAHHAH - gosh I'm so funny!) to be returned to you. Can I count on you guys (and the entire female population - I don't know why it's normal to say 'guys' for both genders) to have a read of what I have to say first And try not to act on any prejudice or judgement Before you decide to shut it down? Yeah, sorry, I got a little side-tracked again So… The only thing that we know for certain in life is that all of you reading this right now and myself will DIE. So what is the point of staying alive now if it's all going to come to an end? Why are we living to die instead of dying to live? All of us have a mother. (assuming you are all humans like me and started with 'something' that happened between a male and female) I love my mum. Without my mum I wouldn't be here tonight. Without my mum I wouldn't have the opportunity to connect with you tonight. Without my mum you wouldn't be reading this tonight. In Sydney, Australia, Today is Mother's Day. And it's no coincidence that I've chosen this day to connect with you. This is because today we show our appreciation for the beautiful and incredible woman who brought us into this world, whether she is here with you or not today. Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who sucked up the discomfort of having a massive bulge sticking out of her belly for 9 months. Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who suffered physical pain and bleed from childbirth. I don't think there can be any other pain greater than the pain of childbirth (well I haven't given birth so I guess I'm not qualified to say so) (Yes the cute baby photo was specifically chosen to capture your attention) Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who blessed us with a life full of opportunity. Mother's Day is today, in Australia. Why are we on social media? And I am no hypocrite here. Why am I myself on social media tonight? Why have we felt the need to create a 'Day' for all our 'Mothers' out there? Is it because, without a 'Mother's Day,' we will forget to love our 'Mothers'? Shouldn't our mothers be appreciated every single day? (Same for all the 'Father's' out there!!! I love you Dad) In the past, all I did for Mother's Day was go to the shops and buy a box of chocolates or some flowers or whatever was on "Mother's Day Sale." But I've realised there are many things that Money Cannot Buy. (feel free to prove me wrong here) There are many things that cannot be Bought And Sold Based on demand and supply on a Market (Yes I love economics!!!) Love. Time. Purpose. Faith. Hope. Life. The List Goes On And On . . . In my humble opinion, I feel like some meaningful celebrations have been overly commercialised in some 'developed' countries. I feel like Christmas Day is more about buying presents and decorating the Christmas tree. I feel like Easter Day is about eating chocolate shaped in an oval egg shape (or bunny or whatever fancy shape chocolate is moulded into to make it more appealing to buy and eat and make it seem different but at the end of the day it's just chocolate - well maybe different in the sense that it has differing percentages of cocoa content - I'm personally a big fan of dark chocolate! - I reckon 70% is just 'perfect' - well just 'right' - because nothing is 'perfect' but also nothing is 'right' - so yeah, I just contradicted what I just said). I feel like ANZAC Day is more about eating ANZAC cookies and buying things with the Australian flag printed on it. And I feel like Chinese New Year is more about receiving free money from relatives (as long as you are unmarried). Now, I'm not suggesting that you should all divorce or remain single for life and go become Chinese. I'm just telling you about my 'blood nationality' and our culture. Also, while we're on the topic of marriage, I am not at all against marriage (I think marriage is wonderful and Western white wedding dresses are super beautiful on brides), in my humble opinion, I don't really understand the point of marriage? To me, Love is about remaining loyal both physically and emotionally to another human of our own choosing (in my opinion, regardless of gender). Personally, I don't see the need to have my 'love' with another human solidified by the legal system under a notion called 'marriage.' I believe if we truly 'love' another person, We should be able to trust them to remain loyal (both emotionally and physically) to us without protection under the legal system And live together happily ever after (Yes I'm a big dreamer and lover of Disney and I believe in happily ever after fairytale endings with my Prince HEEEHEHEE) And, while we're on the topic of Princes and Princesses and fairytale endings, (I know we all love a good romance on such a dark, romantic night here in Australia and most stories told through mediums such as books and movies tend to have at least a touch of love in them And some have a bigger focus than others *Cough* *Cough* Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet) One of my favourite TV shows (back in the day I still used to watch TV) was the Bachelor/Bachelorette <3 But now I prefer to live in my own reality TV show instead of watching another's on an electronic screen To my Prince out there, (yes you know who you are) Who wishes not to be named (and shamed - hahah just kidding - Well, hopefully you don't find what I'm about to say to be too embarrassing) The way I fundamentally feel towards you has not changed one bit And I'm not talking about hate here (jokes! I lied! I actually feel even stronger towards you now <3) And gosh, No other human on Earth has ever made me cry as many times as you have. No one can compete with how many rivers on Earth I've filled with my salty tears. (everyone else reading this, please don't try to break the Guinness World Record here - I reckon I've had my fair share of tears and breakdowns) And I meant it when I said nobody has ever made me feel this way. (or something like I've never felt this way towards somebody - or the other way around - well I guess that's not important) (and well I guess it does make sense that everybody feels differently towards each person because they're different people) -that paragraph was very coherent - I know I've already told you this directly but repetition surely doesn't hurt! Thank you for always considering what is best for me in everything you've done. (Well I hope that's what you've been doing - only you know what's going inside that interesting head of yours) Thank you for teaching me the importance of honest and open communication. I would never forget that night when you asked me out in the most romantic location one could possibly think of. (Solid memz) (And great place IF we have any future anniversaries) Thank you for all the 'fun' experiences we've shared together (Yes you know which one I'm referring to in particular ;)) I hope we have many more nights just like that (well maybe just a bit more) You're a Tim Tam Because You're Simply Irresistible And you know which Guinness World Record of mine (or personal best) I would like to break ;) (please don't go finding another planet to live on to get away from me) And I love how we always go 'hunting' for the same places when we're out and about in public ;))))) I also would like to say that I miss you. A lot. <3 (AWWWWW) And I've been thinking about you A lot. (AWWWW) And Just like how I've previously never envisioned a life without a uni degree till this Monday, I've never been able to envision a life without you in it (and I probably won't be able to - but nothing is certain besides death - so I could be wrong I guess) I was never quite a full believer in soul mates Until I met you There was always a 'mystical' feeling I felt around you. I never understood what it was Until now I thought it was just 'lust' Or you were just secretly a 'fuckboi' (whatever that means) But I realised it was much more than that. OK, that's the last (massive) chunk of cheese I'm feeding you guys (for tonight). And I'm sure the rest of you have eaten enough cheese for the day. And I don't want to make you puke tonight. Because that's not my job -That's the job of your significant other <3 I don't know what you were expecting when I messaged you yesterday asking for your permission to have your first name in my 'story.' Well, since you said no, I assume you probably weren't expecting this. (man I had some great jokes I wanted to crack with your first name - GRRRRR) But again, as I have already told you, In this life, If we would like to have a nice and healthy relationship, We must accept the fact that we have the right to both reject and be rejected by others. And others hurt us but we also hurt others. That's just part of life. So, I respect your decision. I had to get that off my chest. Because now, When I'm on my deathbed, I don't have to be wondering what could've been had I chosen to tell you. Instead, When I'm on my deathbed, I can spend my last hours reflecting on what a wonderful life it's been Surrounded by my family and closest friends. Now, I've done everything I possibly could within my control. Now, it's all on you now. And please respect how it's a private matter between us two from now on. Your own love lives are much more interesting than mine. Trust me. Why would you want to see how someone else's story ends (or starts) when you can be writing your own 'story?' So go out there and tell that person you've been wanting to tell how you feel how you've felt all along! Be a girl! Growing up, it was always drilled into me that guys should be the ones chasing girls and girls should not chase guys. And that girls should play 'hard to get' Wouldn't life be so much simpler if you start feeling like you like someone, To say something along the lines of: "Hey. I like you. Do you feel the same way?" Then it can either only go one or two ways (Well we all hope it goes one particular way) And then you can move on happily with life and find someone else who also feels the same way and live happily ever after (well unless you're super unlucky and get a fence sitter And apologies, if that's the case, I don't have any further advice for you - you're on your own then xD) I used to think that expressing my emotions was a sign of weakness. I was 'wrong' (whatever it means to be 'wrong' or 'right') But I've realised it actually takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you feel hurt by something they've done. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you love them. But, in my opinion, by telling others how we feel, It actually liberates us. It allows us to make amends Instead of letting resentment build And then exploding later Like our own internal Big Bang Because in my Theory (I guess you can call it the Big Bang Theory), believe me, in my experience, I have exploded many times (not literally) By letting my resentment build (under the influence [heavy] of alcohol) If you don't believe me, Believe Bronnie Ware!! For those of you who don't know Bronnie, She worked as a palliative nurse for 8 years looking after people in their final days alive. And she writes in her book "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying," That one of the top 5 regrets she heard from people with limited time on Earth was that they wished they had the courage to express their own emotions. I used to put on a face and act like something that really hurt me didn't affect me at all. I don't understand why I aspired to be a 'psychopath.' Because a key characteristic of a 'psychopath' is that they feel no emotions. Our ability to feel emotions, whether that be: Happiness Disappointment Joy Anger Resentment Love Is what makes us human. Why do we attempt to 'dehumanise' ourselves? So back to marriage…. Again, I am not against marriage. Well, even if I am, why should you care? It's your life and you choose and how you would like to live it. And believe me, in my humble opinion, life is too short for you to spend a couple of minutes writing a nasty comment trying to convince me of the importance of marriage. (Well if you decide to do so, I'm absolutely honoured! because it means I'm super important to you because you care a lot about what I think) But for me personally, I would just like to wear a nice white pretty long wedding dress for fun and take some photos around my closest family and friends Anyways, got a little side tracked again. Back to the topic: I know that many of us struggle or have struggled to find meaning in life. I'm one of them. And I'll be sharing my story with you. I know if I don't wake up tomorrow, I can Rest In Peace. Apologies, if I have generalised or made false assumptions in parts of my 'story' by using words like "We." I know that there is no other certainty besides death. But sometimes, it is 'easier' to do so to illustrate a point I'm trying to make. I hope you understand. If you don't like what I have to say, you can either (Mark Manson): 1. Do nothing OR 2. Do something I value all opinions and perspectives. I only ask that you do so in a courteous and respectful manner. Growing up, my dad was always the logical one and less of a 'dreamer' than I was. I tried having D&M (Deep and Meaningful conversations) with my Dad but they never turned out the way I hoped. 'Dad, what do you think the meaning of life is?' 'There's no meaning. You live. You die. That's it.' Wow! So optimistic Dad!! I love you Dad! Growing up, you also 'tried' (and I use the word 'tried' because you weren't that successful in doing so) to drill into me that it was a waste of time and energy to 'care too much' about the world Because you said there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to accept life the way it is. Well, back to Mark Manson's two options, You can probably guess which path I decided to take (and it wasn't to accept it I Refuse to accept the world as it is) To all my fellow peers out there, If I have offended you, please let me know. I am not perfect. I don't try to be perfect. And I don't need to be perfect. And as much effort as I've put it and how hard I've tried to minimise resentment and offense, (Just like how I'm trying to be at the minimum point on the parabola And at the maximum point on the parabola with my impact) I'm only human. And so are you. And to further illustrate my point that nothing in this world is 'perfect' (apologies if this sounds like an essay), My 'story' is not fully edited. I've ran through it once - made some changes and this is what you're reading now. There are errors. There are bits repeated. There are bits that make no sense whatsoever. This is to further highlight my belief that nothing in the world is 'perfect' (or the real reason could just be that I'm lazy and cbbs editing it) LOL DISCLAIMER: I do not accept any legal responsibility for any tears shed Or any laughs shared Or any puke vomited from cheese overload in the process of reading my 'story.' (Oh and in case you haven't realised already It's also R rated And if you don't know what that means Adults only!! - just kidding, anyone can read my 'story') I reckon that our mental state would be a better measure of our 'real age' Because our age is just a 1, 2 (or 3) (or 4) (or more) digit number which doesn't indicate anything about our 'maturity' level (whatever that means) nor our 'wisdom' (whatever that means) You are reading at your own risk. Remember It's YOUR own life. And YOU choose how to live it. (Please show appreciation for the fact that I've been nice and have made this disclaimer at a font size that you can actually see) [Tip: Get a box of tissues ready (don’t worry if you don’t know what tissues are - they just help absorb our tears) You can live without them! Actually we can live without a lot of things If my house was on fire, i know what i would choose to take - nothing at all - nothing but myself and my family - I slept in a room with nothing [not literally] but a mattress laid on top of the carpet on the floor with a blanket, pillow, oxygen, walls, life and I was clothed too] And in case you were wondering, I didn't choose to do that for fun. My house was under renovations for a couple of weeks (we repainted the entire house and changed the entire carpet) And during those two weeks, I felt like I was 'homeless' I can't imagine what it's like to actually be sleeping out in the open on the streets Or being a refugee I felt like I was being kicked out of my own dwelling and I didn't belong - I felt lost and very uncomfortable OK, so here's my 'story'. https://leeannchn.wixsite.com/dietolive/single-post/2018/05/13/Lets-Not-Live-To-Die-but-Die-To-Live