#'you said “forever” (in the end i fought it) (and i almost bought it)'

[weepynymph]

not ANOTHER ship I can think of when i'm listening to 'i miss you, i'm sorry'!!!!

[waywardcrow]

Dress.

Summary: After a mission where they crossed a line, Bucky decides to talk about what happened that night with you.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader.

WC: Almost 1600.

TW: Avengers kind of things, talk about weapons, sad reader and sad Bucky, misunderstendings, agents talking shit because of jealousy, SMUT (do not interact if you're not +18) some kissing, dancing and boners lol, semi public make out, oral (f recieving) fingering, hint of other things but not so much because I'm so bad a t this, sorry, let me know if I missed something.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language, please tell me if I make grammar mistakes.

You hated everything that night, the happy people who were eager to get drunk and forget about the ending year, the music too loud that didn’t let you think, the beautiful dress you bought for that very occasion specifically because you wanted to impress a certain super soldier in the New Year's Eve party but that was before last mission, before you messed it all up.

If you closed your eyes, you could see everything playing perfectly in your mind, how unprofessional you were, how much space Bucky put between you two in the quinjet, the tension that followed you the last days and the words of the agents who probably knew about what happen from him. It was a disaster and you wouldn’t escape from it, Tony would never let you go without an explanation if you requested a transfer to another area.

Distracted, drinking your problems you didn’t noticed Bucky’s gaze tearing apart the pretty gold dress you were wearing as if he could feel your skin against his like that night.

It was a simple mission, find the target, watch it until Valkyrie and Wanda could secured the evidence –an arsenal of Asgardian weapons- and then arrested everyone but your cover was necessary and thanks to your powers, the ability to manipulate brain’s perception to make your audience see what you want- make you perfect to blend with him in that shady club pretending to be just a couple looking for a good time.

Easier to say than done, Bucky fought his boner all night with you dancing too close to him, whispering things in his ear, sitting in his lap… sure you could feel how much he wanted to fuck you there in front of everybody, he indulged in his little fantasy when he feel your own arousal, he told himself it was for the mission when he took you to a semi empty corridor to kiss you dumb.

You tasted better than he imagined, like honey and salvation, Bucky was sure that if he kept kissing you he would find heaven.

“Are you ok, terminator? You look like you’re about to have an aneurysm” Sam pulled him out of his mind just in time before he got in trouble righ there in the middle of the party.

“I’m fine” he wasn’t and Sam let out a chuckle.

“Just go and talk to her, you can’t keep avoiding each other forever.”

You were avoiding him, Bucky just gave you space after you walked away from him when the mission was over, like he didn’t almost cum from having you exactly where he wanted you, with your perfect legs around him with just a thin layer of clothes between you.

“I said I’m fine” he said again, not looking at Sam when you made your way to the elevators, going after you.

It was better for you to leave early, too many drinks and you could end up crying or doing something you’ll regret, like talking to Bucky, who jumped in the elevator you called before the doors closed.

“Going to bed already?” he asked and you stared at him like an idiot, how could he look that good all the damn time? A black suit and white shirt shouldn’t make someone that hot, it was cheating “are you alright, honey?”

How have you missed his voice! A simple taste of him and you wanted more, you wanted him to touch you like that night, like he couldn’t get enough of you, like if time was against you both and every second he wasn’t making you feel all of him was a sacrilege.

“Why are you here, Bucky?”

Cornered, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, drawing his attention to your breasts, the memory of his lips pulling softly at your nipple made you want to close your legs to get some sort of friction, trying to calm the need for him.

Like he could read your mind, he licked his lips, wanting to pull your dress and bury himself in your chest but Bucky needed to have a conversation with you first.

“Are you going to avoid me forever, hon?” the super soldier lifted your chin to make you see him when you set your eyes in your heels “I can take a rejection, sweetheart but not you shutting me out completely.”

Bucky had made lots of friends with time but you were his first one, he didn’t want to lose you; you, in the other hand, were more confused than ever.

“What rejection? If anything, you’re the one who is not interested!” boldness coming from the alcohol made you talk before thinking about stopping “and don’t give me that look James Buchanan Barnes, you know perfectly what I’m talking about.”

The elevators door opened and you stormed out, going to you room, the audacity of that man!

“Can you explain to me what are you talking about?” Bucky took your hand and made you face him when you reached your door, all his cocky attitude was replaced by confusion.

“Please don’t pretend you didn’t tell Carla and Ashley what happen that night, I heard them talking the morning after in the gym” Above all the embarrassment there was hurt, you thought he could be trusted but Bucky proved you were an idiot “they were talking how you hated being assigned with me and to pretend to make out with me.”

Bucky’s heart hammered in his chest, what the hell were you talking about? He didn’t say anything, at all but you looked so sure he couldn’t speak.

“You made it very clear putting distance between us in the ride home but you didn’t have to tell them” your voice trembled, still you refused to cry, if that was the kind of man Bucky was, he didn’t deserve your tears.

“I swear I didn’t say anything, honey, I swear” he promised, making himself small to look at your eyes “I don’t know how they know, please believe me.”

You shake your head; you wanted to believe him but…

“I told no one, I really thought you were mad at me for taking advantage of the situation, that I misread it” he mumbled, desperate to prove you he was telling the truth, taking your face in his hands “I should have been more professional, more of a gentleman, ask you properly on a date, not acting like that, no matter how much I wanted it. That’s why I put space between us; Wanda and Val were looking at me like they would spray me with cold water if I breathed near you.”

Bucky wished you could read his mind to see he was honest but you still could, sensing his desperation matching yours.

“Do you really mean that?”

His heart broke at how unsure you sounded, he would spend every day of his life proving to you how much he meant it.

“I do, honey, you’re not only a friend to me, why do you think I requested to be with you in that mission?” with his arms around your waist, you put your hands in his chest to feel his heartbeat “I can’t be apart from you, I needed you close while I was gathering courage to confess my feelings but then I couldn’t hide it and…”

You interrupted him to kiss him, not giving a damn about anything but Bucky’s lips in yours. He opened the door and you took him with you to your room, tossing his jacket to the floor and taking your heels off.

“You should keep them on” he said between kisses, guiding you to your bed.

“Maybe next time” you promised, opening his dress shirt, he gave you a smirk while he took it off, like he couldn’t wait.

“This dress has to go, even if I love it.”

“I only bought it for you to take it off” you confessed, mesmerized by his hands undressing you before he placed you softly in your bed, earning a grin from him.

“Really? Well, you deserve a reward for thinking about me, honey”

Before you could ask, he was with his knees on the floor, ripping your panties to eat you out like he needed it to keep breathing.

It barely gave you time to let out a lewd moan that only encourage him more, putting your legs in his broad shoulders, nipping at your sensitive bud and teasing your entrance with his fingers.

It was real? It was the alcohol? You could think so if it wasn’t very improbable, your imagination couldn’t make this up, not something this good at least.

“Please” you begged and he shove one finger in you, then almost immediately another while licking you and going back to your clit, moaning at the taste of you, humping the mattress to get some relief, especially when you pulled at his short locks, making him groan.

“Bucky! Pleaseplease…” were the only words you could form but then he decided to replace his fingers with his tongue and you were gone, the orgasm hit you like a thousand waves and you could swear you fainted for a second, only coming back to yourself when you tasted your own arousal in his kiss.

Surprised to being this responsive with him, you kissed him back and he looked at you, fire blazing in his eyes.

“Come back to me, honey, we are just getting started” he promised against your lips and dear God, he was a man of his word. Hors later, the fireworks were loud enough outside but you both couldn’t care less, you finally have what you wanted: each other.

So this is my first time writing smut and I wanted to do it for New year's Eve, it was fun! Tell me what you think and happy new year!

Love, Lily.

[reidmania]

I MISS YOU IM SORRY | spencer reid

good riddance x spencer reid one shot series masterlist!!

summary; Spencer calls after being broken up for a month.

warnings ; fem reader, hopeful/happy ending, angst, exes to lovers, mentions of arguments, breakups, miscommunication, avoidant reader, loving spencer, break up bc reader pushed him away bc of self doubt, pretty tame. i love this i think

an ; RAHH fic twoooooo ehehehe. risk is coming soon i just had to pump out the angst really quick ok bare w me!!

You said, "Forever, " in the end I fought it Please be honest, are we better for it? Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called And said, "I miss you", I caught it. You said, "Forever, " and I almost bought it I miss fightin' in your old apartment. Breakin' dishes when you're disappointed. I still love you, I promise. Nothin' happened in the way I wanted. Every corner of this house is haunted And I know you said that we're not talkin' But I miss you, I'm sorry

The call came as a shock. When you were holding onto the doors of your pantry, leaning back slightly as your eyes skimmed over the contents of it — Which was not a lot. You we’re thinking about that fact you needed to go grocery shopping.

How long could you avoid that?

It started right after you and Spencer broke up, where you refused to go because of the chance that you might see Spencer there. It was right between yours and his apartment so the chances weren’t completely low — and normally you and Spencer did the grocery shopping together.

It would normally consist of you dancing around the store picking up random things and Spencer watching you fondly as he pushed the cart. He would mutter something about what was healthiest and you would hum approvingly then grab the opposite of whatever he suggest because it ‘tasted better’ He would chuckle and press his lips to the top of your head.

You wanted to relive that so bad that the idea of being inside the shops without him seemed so wrong. It felt like doing something behind his back. Like watching an episode of the show you two were watching together without him. It just felt wrong.

So you decided you would go to a different shop, an hour drive away. Just to be safe, but who just had time for that?

Which was how your pantry had gotten near empty.

You still had the big bag of his coffee beans that he left here. The ones you weren’t a fan of buy it didn’t matter because Spencer would compromise and just buy both, or just yours. You had use all of yours and started using the ones he left here.

They left a bitter taste on your tongue and a sweet sensation down the back of your throat, they were strong and kept you awake for hours longer than your normal ones did — but weirdly enough; they felt like home.

The bag was brand-less, and you should’ve memorised what it was you were sure you knew. You just couldn’t remember.

How were you suppose to ask? Call him? Message him? Pop by his house and ask. You were sure if he got any soft of contact from you— about anything, you would be blocked in milliseconds. The feeling that thought provided made your stomach tighten more than you’d like to admit.

You almost stumbled over your own feet when you closed the pantry as your phone started to ring, you saw it light up with a contact but your mind paid little attention as you answered, not even actually looking at your phone, your attention elsewhere.

“Hello?” You muttered as you walked towards the coffee machine you and Spencer had decided to get as an anniversary present. To fuel both your coffee addictions. You shoulder held your phone against your ear as you grabbed the bag of coffee beans — Spencers coffee beans.

You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone, “Hey.” The voice. His voice. Tired and groggy as if he had just woken up but you knew him well enough to know he didn’t. You pulled your phone away from your ear as your mind clouded foggy. Your eyes danced over his contact for a moment. He was calling you — He called you. it sent familiar butterflies to your ribcage.

“Spencer?” You exhaled, despite already knowing it was him. You wondered if maybe this was some prank, if he was just calling because he needed something or maybe to call you and degrade you over every mistake you made in the ending of your relationship — you deserved that.

He had every right to hate you for how things ended, he had every right to hate you, period. You had assumed that was how he felt towards you. Hatred. You knew he loved you throughout your relationship, that wasn’t something you had to question but the idea of that still being the case after everything unfolded the way it did.. It didn’t even seem fathomable.

“Hi” He repeated. His voice was low and quiet, you didn’t know what that meant and it was driving you insane. Your feet pattered around the house suddenly feeling cold in the kitchen. Nothing but memories fogging your mind every corner you looked — that didn’t go away as you moved around the house. It was filled by him and it was consuming you whole. 

You let out a heavy breath. “Do you need something?” It didn’t come out how you wanted it to. It wasn’t harsh or anything but your voice weakened half way through your words making embarrassment creep up the back of your neck.

The other side of the phone was silent for a minute, making anxiety pool in your stomach. Your head tilted as you sat on the corner of the couch, wrapping yourself in the blanket on the couch — the one you used more often than you’d like to admit, since some night sleeping in the bed that was suppose to be shared with Spencer felt all too consuming, the way his scent lingered faintly over the sheets and his little nothings covered the window sill, his jacket still hung up in the closet.

“Spence are you okay?” The nickname fell from your lips before you could try to stop it. You heard a muffled sound on the other end of the phone making your stomach twist. Slight worry and confusion filled the wrinkles by your eyes as you squinted slightly.

“Ye- Im.. Im okay” He breathed out his voice heavy and filled with something you couldn’t place if you tried. You were sure it was an emotion you had felt since you felt a sick feeling of familiarity in your abdomen. “I just- Can we talk?” He asked.

Your eyebrows furrowed as your knees pulled to your chest. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?” You asked, in your mind there was a point to this conversation, there was something specific he needed to talk to you about or why else would he call. He wouldn’t, you thought.

“No-Not like that, i just- I just want to talk to you, about anything. Whatever you want I just—” There was a pause, his voice got quiet, almost a whisper, “I miss you.” The words that left his lips buried themselves deep inside your chest, building themselves a home there.

Your head span. He said it so quietly you were scared you might’ve missed it if he said it any quieter. But you didn’t, you caught it. A deep breath left your chest as your hand came to your forehead, your mind was so focused on the fact that, he missed you. He called because he missed you. You almost forgot to answer him. You figured if he said the comment so quietly, maybe he didn’t want a reply on it, so you continued on with the conversation as the words interfered with the rhythmic beating of your heart.

“What coffee beans to do you buy?” You settled on. You heard him chuckle on the other side of the phone before passing a comment asking ‘why? You hated them’ It made your heart flutter uncomfortablely. The two of you continued talking about coffee beans for ten minutes before he muttered about how he had to go, you knew it was probably work related. But god he sounded so sad saying it.

“Spencer?” You asked softly, your voice coming out quieter than what you expected. You heard his soft hum on the other side of the phone. You didn’t want to admit how much you missed him, how your entire being craved him every minute of everyday regardless of what you did — nothing in the world could fill the him-shaped- hole that took up the space of your gut.

“I’m sorry” You apologised and you hoped it was clear you were apologising for everything, for the arguments, for the breakup, for pushing him away for no real good reason beside your own self doubt. It was the sorry you were too proud to mutter out a month ago.

There was a moment on the other side of the phone where you were almost convinced he was going to hang up — you worried you brought up what he didn’t want to talk about.

But instead, “I miss you.” He said louder this time, as if he believed you didn’t hear it the first time. The words made your stomach clench tightly and your muscles both tighten and relax at the same time.

You sigh, you should have shut up. He had to go, you know that but the words came out honestly as “I still love you” You said. You wanted to slap yourself in the face, now you really weren’t gonna be surprised if he hung up and blocked you.

There was a heavy breath, you couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. “Well-“ He huffed, “If you still love me, and- I still love you..” He muttered out intentionally, hoping you caught on to what he was insinuating. Your mind however was captivated by the fact that, he still loved you.

“We should probably talk” He finished when you didn’t, “Please?” It was thrown in there both to use manners and to show how badly he wanted this. You weren’t ever gonna say no in the first place.

“We should. Do you need to go grocery shopping?” You asked, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you almost smiled. You could almost imagine his confusion.

“Um— I guess that depends —Do you?” He asked. You huffed out a small laugh, nodding your head absentmindedly as you realised he couldn’t see you. “Do you still go to-“

He cut you off, “No. No i started going to the one across town, about an hour away” He said, honestly. You head tilted slightly as you realised he started going to the one you were going to. The conversation continued as you both ignored — or forgot the fact he needed to go.

“Why?”

“So you didn’t feel uncomfortable if I was there when you were” He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. It made your stomach scrunch up and your chest to bruise your ribcage as the beating of your heart only increased.

“Let’s go grocery shopping, at our shop. Then um— you can come here and I can make you coffee?” You suggested slightly awkwardly, as you worried about the chance of rejection and the embarrassment you would feel.

“It’s a date.” He smiled, you could hear it in his voice.

“Okay.” You exhaled out.

[jenomi]

i miss you, i'm sorry

pairing: idol!jeno x idol!reader

you weren't anticipating seeing jeno at your gig today. you were at a live lounge to perform your new song and a cover of "I miss you, I'm sorry" by Gracie Abrams. you'd be lying if you said you weren't thinking of jeno when you picked that song.

jeno was here to promote his new song with his group, but you didn't bother to check who the other feature would be when you signed up for the show. nobody knew about your relationship except close friends, not even your manager so they couldn't warn you of this. both of you had to keep it a secret due to the nature of your careers.

but it was 5 years. 5 years with jeno, the love of your life. or was it now the former love of your life? it hurt your heart to think about it.

when you bumped into him and the rest of nct dream, you said your hellos politely. you used to be friends with the rest of the dreamies, but the relationship faded as you stopped dating jeno. every time you would look at jeno, it's like he had a radar for you so he would look back at you immediately. it hurt to look at him in the eyes, so you looked away quickly.

you went on stage first, performing the title song to your new mini album. it was an upbeat song, describing the freedom you feel when not bound by ropes holding you back. but for your real fans, they would study the undertones of your new song and know that it's actually a sad song about the longing for those boundaries you once had.

jeno listened to your song, because of course no matter what, he still supports you. he was by your side as you rose to fame.

looking back, you realized your relationship with jeno was a little suffocating. having to keep it a secret, not being able to eat out at your favorite restaurants, or even walk on the street together. it was fun at first and you believed you loved each other enough to make it work. but jeno started to get more and more nervous about your secret relationship, especially seeing how other male idols caught in dating scandals were treated. you tried to ease his mind on the topic, but as time went on, it was beyond saving.

you just didn't think jeno would be able to leave so easily.

"The next song I'll sing is a cover by one of my favorite artists. Um..." you weren't sure if you should give any background information, knowing jeno was backstage and might be watching, "I hope you enjoy."

"Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you?"

although the end was messy, you still cling on to the better moments in your relationship. when you went to the beach together, covered by hats, sunglasses, and a big umbrella, backs more tan than your chest from lying on your fronts to hide from the public. it was ridiculous and excessive, but you would always laugh at each other's uneven tan. when he would come home after being away for months on tour, locking himself in your house to catch up on lost time.

"You said, 'forever,' in the end I fought it. Please be honest, are we better for it?"

being together for 5 years, naturally you talked about marriage. it was forever for the both of you, you especially couldn't imagine yourself with anyone else. but now, you watch jeno from afar and online and see that he's happy. you also got some freedom back after breaking up. you can't help but wonder if maybe you outgrew each other? are you better off without each other?

a piece of your heart broke off every time you would answer 'yes'.

"You said, "forever," and I almost bought it. I miss fighting in your old apartment"

you begin tearing up as you reach the latter half of the song. you always found sanctuary at jeno's apartment. there were memories all over it.

jeno was watching from side stage. he could hear the slight quiver in your voice. he couldn't miss it, he could always tell your mood from your voice. he loved you for 5 years. how could he forget? he could also hear how much of your heart you were pouring into this song. he couldn't help but reminisce about your relationship. he felt a lump forming in his throat as he became overcome with nostalgia from your relationship.

"And I know you said that we're not talking. But I miss you, I'm sorry"

jeno told you to stop messaging him. it came out harsh, but it was too hard to stay in contact with you and not want to get back together. in the moment, he thought he was doing the right thing, but now looking back he doesn't quite remember the reason for breaking up in the first place. he kept up with your activities, he would watch your performance videos to see how you were doing and add up the streaming numbers for your success.

as he watched your videos and you performing live, he realized he messed up. how could he live without you? the time after your breakup were a blur, jeno kept busy to prevent himself from thinking about you in his free time. watching you now, crying as you sang a song about a messy breakup, much similar to the one between the two of you, his heart broke. he missed you, too. he'd like to think this song is dedicated to him - but he'll confront you after your set to talk.

as you sing the outro, you're trying your best to keep it together. too many memories were flooding back. you knew what you were getting into when choosing this song, but seeing jeno in person for the first time after he walked out on you opened the gates to all the memories you shoved in the back of your mind trying to forget.

when you finish, a tear slips down your cheek before you're able to swipe it away. the crowd cheers and coos as you bow and say your thank yous before rushing off stage.

you stop in your tracks when you see jeno standing side stage with sad, tear-rimmed eyes.

"y/n-"

the tears are about to burst just hearing your name on his lips. you hold up your hand and walk quickly towards your waiting room. you pass the other dreamies on your way as they call your name, their voices laced with concern.

you hear the producer call them on stage. good, jeno won't be chasing after you. after all, he put his job above you in the end. by the time they were done, you'd be long gone.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

part 2 here!

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

I Miss You, I’m Sorry || Tom Blyth x Singer!Reader

Summary: In which after your break up with Tom, you write a song about him and fans start to speculate that it is about the two of you.

Warning: swearing, kinda toxic Tom?

Wc: 1,123

A/n: someone asked if I would do a Sabrina Carpenter x Tom fic but I thought I’d do it with Gracie Abrams instead bc I absolutely love her <3 (I don’t mention Gracie, it’s still an x reader)

Tom Blyth x singer!reader au masterlist

Divider by @pommecita

Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you?

You squeal in excitement. You had just dropped your first ever album. “I’m so proud of you, my darling,” Tom hugs you tightly as he kisses your hair. “Thank you,” You says against his ear.

That night, the two of you stayed home, ordered pizza and drank wine in each other’s arms. Tom was so incredibly proud of you, he knew the hardships you faced that year when composing the songs and everything else that was going on in life.

You felt so blessed to have had Tom by your side during the particularly rough year. “I love you,” You whisper, your breathe fanning Tom’s neck as he pulls you closer to him. “I love you more,” He whispered back as you smiled.

Then all of a sudden, you're sick to your stomach, Is that still true?

Tom felt sick in the stomach knowing what he had done. It was a simple drunken mistake that he could never forgive himself. He cheated on you. He could never forget how he absolutely shattered your pure heart, all because of his drunken actions.

You said, "Forever, " in the end I fought it, Please be honest, are we better for it?

“I will forever love you, y/n.” He says against your lips before kissing you. You melt into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck as you bring him closer to you.

“You said you’d love me forever Tom- I-I don’t understand why’d you would do this-“ You furrow your eyebrows as tears had blurred up your vision. “I’m so sorry y/n, please-“ He tries to say as his hand touches your arm but you pull away from him, too hurt, too broken.

Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called and said, "I miss you", I caught it

You pick at your fingernails as your leg bounces up and down. You were sat at your desk, alone in the house. It had been a month since you broke up with Tom. And you couldn’t help but think about him every single day.

He was your everything. You couldn’t just get him out of your head that quickly. You flinch at the sound of your phone going off, buzzing on the table as you turn your phone over revealing his name on the caller id.

You stare at it for a few seconds, contemplating. “Hello?” Your voice was quiet as you hear a silence on the other end. “Tom? Are you there-“ “I miss you,” You hear him say, his voice just as shaky as yours; you bite your trembling lip, trying so hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to come out.

Good to each other, give it the summer, I knew you too

Little did you know that that summer was going to be your last one spent with Tom. He hadn’t told you that he had cheated on you yet, but you felt a shift.

You felt a change that you tried to ignore the best you could until you couldn’t handle it anymore.

But I only saw you once in December. I'm still confused.

You saw him once in December. That was all. You didn’t know why he was ignoring you and being so distant.

You said, "Forever, " and I almost bought it. I miss fightin' in your old apartment

“Forever.” What a fucking lie. “Why are you being so fucking distant towards me!” You yell, walking into his apartment as he slams the door behind him. “I’m not! I’ve been busy with my own fucking life y/n” He screams back as you both stare at each other.

“You could still try and make an effort Tom! I’m your girlfriend!” You storm up to him, finger pointing at him as he shoves your hand away from him, walking away without saying a word. “Don’t walk away from me-“ You shout as you follow him upstairs, “I don’t want to talk right now,” He seethes, slamming his bedroom door on your face.

You stand there as you scoff. You lift your hand up to knock but figured it would be no use, so, you walked back downstairs, grabbed your things and left.

Breakin' dishes when you're disappointed, I still love you, I promise

“Why-Why couldn’t you just tell me y/n,” He pulls at his hairs as you sat on the couch, knees to your chin as you look down on the ground. “I didn’t know how to,” You say quietly, not sure if he heard you.

“Y/n,” He sternly says as you look meet his angry eyes, “I said, I didn’t know how to tell you-“ smash. You flinch, gasping at the noise of mug smashing into little bits. Tears started flowing down your cheeks as you bury your head in your arms, sobbing.

Tom breathes heavily as he realises what he’s done. “Fuck,” He walks to you on the couch, his hand softly touching your hair as he listens to you sob. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry y/n,” He whispers he sits beside you, placing a gentle kiss on your arm.

“Please forgive me, darling,” He cooed. His anger got the better of him. You look at him, teary eyed. He wore an apologetic look on his face as you cry even harder, sitting on his lap as he hugs you tight, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

Nothin' happened in the way I wanted. Every corner of this house is haunted

You stand in the living room of your house. Eyes puffy from crying, and a bag in hand with your things that you collected from Tom’s place. Looking around the place gave you flashbacks of you and Tom.

You got this house soon after you started dating Tom nearly 4 years ago now. There were so many memories made here and you couldn’t stop thinking about them.

And I know you said that we're not talkin', But I miss you, I'm sorry

You felt somewhat guilty for missing him. After all, he was the one who cheated on you. Tom told you it would be better to go our seperate ways and limit interactions with each other as much as possible.

It still hurt. Waking up and knowing your relationship with Tom ended. The one person you could confide to was no longer there for you. The one person who knew how to cheer you up after a rough day wasn’t by your side anymore.

The one person who would travel with you around the world for concerts, and if he couldn’t, he would make sure to face time you every day no matter how early or late it was for him.

[perfectlywrongformend3s]

I miss you, I’m sorry-Conrad Fisher

A/n: I have fallen deeply in love with Conrad so except a lot for him. Haha!

Song: I miss you, I'm sorry

Written: Gracie Abrams

-Samantha

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

'Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you? Then all of a sudden you're sick to your stomach, Is that still true?'

I was on my bed looking at all the pictures Conrad and I took together. All I could think about was how much I miss him and wish I could hold him again. I heard a knock on my bedroom door which made me let out a sigh.

" Come in." I said

Belly walked in and sat next to me. She pulled me in for a hug which made me brake down. She rubbed my back trying to calm me down.

" Why doesn't he want me Belly?" I whimpered out

" Y/n/n, you know he loves you, he's..."

I lifted my head to give her a small glare. " If you loved me, he wouldn't have broken my heart." She sighed. " Y/n, what I'm trying to say is he probably did it for a reason. You know he's been going through a hard time."

I just fell back on my bed with tears still running down my face. I saw Belly get up to leave.

'You said."forever" in the end I fought it. Please be honest, are we better for it? Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called, And said, " I miss you" I caught it.'

'Flashback'

I was watching Conrad pace around the kitchen. I didn't understand why he was stressed out. He never really tells me anything.

" Connie, what's wrong?" I asked concerned

He turned around and said...

" I think we should break up."

I looked at him with my jaw dropped, " What?" I said shaky

I was trying my best not to cry. He looked perfectly fine while I was trying not to break down. " I just have a lot going on and I don't want to drag you down with me." He said

" But you said " forever" Don't you love me?" I whispered

He took a shaky breath. " OfCourse I love you. I just don't think I'm in the right mindset for a relationship."

'Present'

I couldn't help but pick up the phone. I wanted to hear his voice so bad. Before I could push his contact I saw his name pop up on my screen. I immediately picked it up.

" Connie?" I said softly

All I heard was his breathing. " Are you okay?"

" I miss you." He whispered super low but I could still hear it. Before I could respond the phone beeped telling me the call ended. I felt like crying again, just from hearing his voice.

'Good to each other, give it the summer, I knew, you too, But I only saw you once in December, I'm still confused'

'Flashback'

I was lying on the pool chairs trying my best to rest, but felt wet droplets land on me. I opened my eyes to find Conrad. I smiled up at him, which had him smiling. He leaned down to kiss my lips.

'Present'

Just thinking of that memory brought back how much fun we had together. All I wish to have  Conrad back . But then thinking about summer was getting me thinking about how he barely showed up for the winter. He only ever showed up at my house once through the whole season. I wished he showed up more to visit me.

'You said," forever" and I almost bought it, I miss fighting in your apartment, Breaking dishes when you're disappointed, I still love you, I promise, nothing happened in the way I wanted, Every corner of this place this haunted, And I know you said that we're not talking, But I miss you, I'm sorry.'

'Flashback'

I was in the kitchen of the beach house just messing around on my phone when I heard someone walk in. I looked up to find my boyfriend. I gave him a smile, but all I got back was a glare. I got confused and carefully asked...

" Did I do something, babe?"

Conrad just shook his head. He then went to grab a cup but it slipped and landed on the floor. We both flinched when the glass made contact with the floor. I immediately went to help, but he grabbed my wrist. " No, I don't want you to get hurt." He mumbled

I nodded and watched him walk away to get something to clean the glass up.

'Present'

I wanted to call him and tell him I miss him too, but he told me to never speak to him again. But it's not like I'm breaking it. He did it first. I pushed on his contact letting it ring. I then hung up because he normally answers on the second ring. I placed my phone on my chest and started thinking about why he would break up with me.

'Everywhere I go leads me back to you, I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse, Everything I know brings me back to us, I don't wanna go, we've been before, Everywhere I go leads me back to you.'

I was back on my phone when Steven barged in my room. " All right, get up!" He stated

I looked at him. " Um, no!"

He then walked over to me. " Don't make me drag you."

I groaned and got up. " Where are we even going Steven."

He shrugged, " I'm just trying to get you out of the house."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We've been driving for about an hour already and everything is making me think of Conrad. Without Steven knowing I grabbed my phone and texted him.

I miss you so much It hurts. And I'm sorry for still having feelings for you. You don't have to respond, but I'm just letting you know. I also never stopped loving you.

I hit send before eI could regret it. I then just tried to enjoy the ride with my brother.

Conrad's POV

I heard my phone buzz and when I picked it up I was shocked to find a text from her. I thought she hated me ever since the break up. Reading her message brought back those feelings that never seem to go away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I'm not sure if I like this one. There's just something about it. But if you like it please let me know or if you have any feedback let me know. Thank you so much again for reading. Please enjoy!!

-Samantha

[bigoltrashpile]

All Mine (Yandere Slim x Reader)

The lovely @tkspersonaldump commissioned me for a yandere Slim x reader! It does get spicy near the end, so I'll put a read more right before that. Thank you for commissioning! :D

Slim sighed.  You were over at the skeletons’ house, once again.  It seemed like you were here more often than your own house.  Which Slim was happy about!  He loved you, of course!  But…it made him jealous.  Really jealous.

Right now, Butch was leaning against you, gently petting your hair.  Slim was pretty sure he could see him whispering something in your ear, but he couldn’t hear it from here.  At the same time, Papyrus had your hand in his, occasionally pressing kisses to the back of it.  The rest of the skeletons were trying hard to be as close to you as they could, all while you watched some tv show.  Everyone except Slim.

Trying to contain his jealousy, Slim looked away.  As if that would stop him from hearing your gorgeous laugh.  Subconsciously, he let out a small growl.  He knew about how the others felt for you, of course he did.  All of them loved you, more than anything else.  But Slim knew.  He knew that you would never love him back.  Not when you had all these other much cooler, sexier, more charming versions of him and his brother.

Trying to stop the dark thoughts, Slim left the room.  He didn’t want to ruin your good evening.  He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice your soft footsteps following him.

Slim shut his door, before flopping face down on his bed with a loud groan.  Sadly, his pity party was interrupted by a gentle knock.

Immediately, Slim sat up.  Nobody else knocked like that.  It was either a loud, constant pounding, or a shave and a haircut pattern.  No in between.  Was it…you?

Cautiously, Slim opened the door.  His eyes went wide.  It was!  You were here!  Right outside his room!  “Can I come in?” you asked.  Your beautiful eyes didn’t meet Slim’s.  What he wouldn’t give to be able to gaze into your eyes for hours and hours and oh fuck he was quiet for way too long.

“yeah, yeah, come on in, uh, do you want a drink?  wait i don’t have any drinks in here, do you want me to go get you a drink?”  Very smooth, Slim.

“No, I just wanted to talk to you, actually.”  You pushed some hair behind your ear.  “Can we sit down?”

“uh huh, have a seat.”  Gingerly, you sat on the edge of his bed.  Slim had to fight to not squeal in excitement.  Fuck, you smelled so good!  And now you were on his bed!  He sat next to you, close, but with a bit of room in case you were uncomfortable.  All his previous bitterness was completely gone, just from the novelty of having your complete attention.

You fidgeted nervously.  “I wanted to…to tell you something.”  You took a deep, shaky breath.  “So…we’ve been friends for a while.”

Slim nodded.  Oh stars, this was sounding an awful lot like a breakup.  Slim fought to keep away his dark thoughts.  What if you were trying to leave him?  He couldn’t let that happen.  His eyes drifted to the closet, where he had a few ropes, bought just in case his jealousy got the better of him and he needed you to stay with him forever.

Oh wait you were still talking.

“I know the others like me,” you said, a slight blush on your face.  “It’s kind of hard to ignore.  And I like them too!”  There was that jealousy again.  “But…”  You took a deep, shaky breath.  “I like you the most.”

“....what?”

“I like you.  A lot.  Like, a lot a lot,” you said with a laugh.  “I might love you?”

Oh stars.  Was Slim dreaming?  He had to be dreaming.  He dug his fingers into his ulna.  Yep, that hurt.  He wasn’t dreaming.

“holy shit,” Slim whispered.

“-I understand if you don’t feel the same, I just wanted to have all cards on the ta-”

“i love you too.”

You blinked.  “You do?”

“fuck, honey, i love ya so much!  more than anything!  i just thought there was no way you’d fall for me when ya have all these choices,” he laughed, almost giddy.

“Really?”  You laughed too.  “Wow!  That’s such a relief!”  You put a hand on your chest, as if calming your heart.

For a moment, the two of you just smiled at each other, like big dorks.  Finally, Slim broke the silence.  “sorry to ask, but…can i kiss ya?”

You jumped, like you weren’t expecting it.  “Y-yeah!”  You shifted so you were facing him more directly.  Carefully, like you were made of glass, Slim put a hand on your cheek.  It was warm.

Slowly, Slim leaned closer.  His eyes were focused firmly on your lips, the lips he had dreamed of kissing every night since he had met you.  With a shaky breath, he closed the distance.

It was even better than he had dreamed.  Your lips were soft, softer than he thought was possible.  He gently moved his teeth against your lips, and you instinctively tilted your head to deepen the kiss.

Suddenly, Slim felt something touch his teeth.  He jumped.  It was your tongue!  You pulled away, seemingly afraid you had messed up.  “I-I’m so sorry, I just thought-”

Before you could say anything, Slim slammed his teeth against your lips again.  This time, he was more than ready.  His tongue invaded your mouth, like you would disappear if he stopped for even a second.  His hand cupped the back of your head, tangled in your hair.

The two of you kissed for a long while, until your hands finally found Slim’s shirt.  Without breaking the kiss, Slim helped your cute little fingers undo the butons, before eagerly stripping you of your top.

Slim pulled back just long enough to take in the sight.  “fuck,” he whispered.  “you’re gorgeous!”

You seemed embarrassed.  “You’re more gorgeous!” you pouted.  Slim just laughed.  The two of you fell onto the bed, Slim landing on top of you.

“do ya wanna go further?” he asked.  Fuck, he wanted to go further.  It was all he wanted, to mark you inside and out, so all the others knew exactly who you belonged to.

“Please,” you whimpered.

Unable to hold himself back, Slim tore your pants into shreds.  You yelped.  “i’ll buy you new ones,” Slim panted.  “i just…i need ya.”

His words, along with the display of strength, seemed to really get to you.  Despite the fact that your thighs were squeezed tight together, Slim could smell your arousal.  Fuck, he hoped your scent stayed in his bed forever.  “O-okay.  But I really liked those pants.”

Slim laughed, before gently pulling your legs apart.  His mouth watered at your scent, and at the sight of your wet folds, on display for him.  And only him.  He looked you in the eyes as he let his long, orange tongue loll out of his mouth.

You swallowed hard.  Almost instinctively, you tried to squeeze your legs together again, but Slim was much too strong to let you.  “no ya don’t,” he growled.  “only squeeze those pretty thighs around my head.”

A soft moan escaped from your mouth, but you let him pull your thighs over his shoulders.  Then, without further ado, he let his tongue get to work.

Slim tried to go slow, to savor this moment he had yearned for, but he couldn’t help himself.  You tasted too damn good!  Plus, you had said you loved him.  He would be able to have you whenever he wanted~

True to his word, your thighs squeezed his skull beautifully when he hit an especially good spot inside of you.  You tried to muffle your moan, but Slim nipped the inside of your thigh in warning.

“don’t ya dare hide your sounds,” he growled.  “i’ve waited too damn long to hear ya.”

You let your hands fall to your side, and when Slim found that spot again, your moan was beautifully unfiltered.  Slim was sure that this was what heaven was.  His thumb found your clit, and you practically screamed as your orgasm washed through you.

---------------

Downstairs, the rest of the skeletons paused in their bickering.  They had been fighting over who deserved to cuddle you next, when they heard a gorgeous sound.  Your moaning.

“what the hell?” Hound muttered.  “is she jerkin’ off?”

Sans scanned the room.  “nah, slim’s gone too.”

A bitter silence filled the room, only interrupted by your beautiful noises, coming faintly from Slim’s room.

Lucky tried to fight back the proud expression from his face as a pleasured scream echoed through the halls.  “I Guess That Solves Our Little Argument,” he smiled.

[hvghes]

i miss you, im sorry ft. quinn hughes

pt 1

Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you?

there was never a day that passed where the old couple didnt think about each other. about every happy memory. about where it all went wrong. they could’ve still been happy together, in love in Vancouver. but she left. she was heartbroken leading him to become heartbroken.

You said, "forever," in the end I fought it Please be honest, are we better for it?

forever. the word they always used. “i love you. you’re my forever.” “we will be together forever.” it was all a lie. nothing was forever. not since the break up. and especially not since quinn got a new girlfriend. some blonde girl he met at a bar after a game. every dream he had with you went out the door the same moment you walked out.

Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called and said, "I miss you" I caught it

quinn left many voice messages. your heart broke the moment you listened to them. you play them over and over since he moved on. “i know i wasn’t there much but i promise if you come back it’ll be different. you’re my everything. everything hurts without you and im so sorry. im sorry that i didn’t notice. everything got so hard that i wasn’t in the right head space. im sorry..” “i miss you” it came out as a whisper but you still heard it. you cried for hours. you missed him.

But I only saw you once in December I'm still confused

December. possibly the worst month. the month you walked out only for a year later the next December for him to have a new girl. you were back in Vancouver for work and decided to get a few drinks with some old friends. thats when you saw him. the ex love of your life with another girl in his lap. your heart shattered in that moment, before he could see you, you told your friends you weren’t feeling well and left.

You said, "forever," and I almost bought it I miss fighting in your old apartment Breaking dishes when you're disappointed I still love you, I promise

there were small arguments here and there. but everything always ended on good terms. life was perfect with quinn. he was your home and you were his. you were the one thing that brought him comfort and peace. his family loved you. your family loved him. they knew you guys would get married. the love and connection you had was strong. the love never died. even if he had a new girl.

Nothing happened in the way I wanted every corner of this house is haunted and I know you said that we're not talking but I miss you, I'm sorry

every dream, every plan, every hope of a future together fell apart. you tried to piece it back together. you still had some of quinns old stuff that you held during nights where you cried until empty. your new home didn’t feel like one. a place of not belonging, a sad feeling haunting you everywhere you went. you’d do anything to get him back. he’d be there waiting for you because what you didnt know was him and that girl only lasted a month its been 6 months since December. leading to summer.

I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse Everything I know brings me back to us I don't wanna go, we've been here before everywhere I go leads me back to you

ellen had invited you to the lake house for the summer. she missed you, and she knew her eldest did too. quinns a mommas boy after all. she knew you still loved each other. you were scared to go. you needed to get out because staying in this house started to bring you to a state that would be hard to get out of. you needed to fix things with quinn. you didn’t want to ruin things more than they already were though. with the comfort of ellen telling you everything would be fine you packed your bag and headed off to the lake house. one thing about you and quinn is that no matter what through destiny fate or whatever you always ended up back in each others presence. you and quinn knew each other as kids but he later moved. it was heartbreaking. but somehow in between the time he came back. you attended the same high school together. finally confessing to one another you guys got together. and here you were this time you found your way back to him.

[fullstcp]

"minor" by Gracie Abrams Sentence Starters

FRIEND

"I just thought you should know I never wanted closure."

"I just can't believe you don't know what I'm feeling."

"Guess you got the best of this."

"I hate the way you love me."

"I hate that I still care."

"Funny how you feel like we would ever talk again."

"How could you think I'd be your friend?"

"I'm sure you're doing fine but I don't wanna hear it."

21

"Hate to picture you half-drunk happy."

"Hate to think you went out without me."

"I'm sorry if you blame me, if I were you, I would."

"Thought you'd see it coming, but you never could."

"I couldn't stay forever."

"You'll be the love of my life when I was young."

"I get a little bit alone sometimes and I miss you again."

"I'll be the love of your life inside your head."

"Just because you're hurting doesn't mean I'm not."

UNDER / OVER

"How come you're not still in my head?"

"We got too much time on our hands."

"I'm not chasing feelings that I don't understand."

"How'd it go from easier to everything's still leading back to you?"

"Can I tell you something? I think about you constantly."

"You're closing every door, but now I'm looking for an opening."

"Maybe I'm just getting confused."

tehe

"You never let me in, so I stopped wanting it."

"Now I know it wasn't right."

i miss you, i'm sorry

"Do you remember happy together?"

"You said 'forever', in the end I fought it."

"Please be honest, are we better for it?"

"You said 'forever', and I almost bought it."

"I miss fighting in your old apartment."

"I still love you, I promise."

"Nothing happened in the way I wanted."

"Every corner of this house is haunted."

"I miss you, I'm sorry."

"Everything I know brings me back to us."

LONG SLEEVES

"You were the catalyst."

"You're good to everyone, all of them but me."

"I can't love you even if I want to."

"You don't know where I've been."

"It's been a long time coming."

minor

"I'll be home at some point."

"I would drive all night to get to you."

"I would run for miles to get to you."

[venturismcdonald]

"I miss you, I'm sorry" by Gracie Abrams is so Dasey, a complete analysis (inspired by @filmmakerdreamst having it on their playlist for Dasey.) It's canon compliant angsty goodness. And fuck it, I'm making it Derek's point of view for shits and giggles.

I had so much fun doing this, please request other songs for me to do because these are a blast.

Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you? Casey gets engaged a few months after he leaves and Derek is fucking destroyed. They were happy. He knows he ruined it but still, fuck, he didn't think she'd fall in love so quickly. Were they just fake? He must've just been a rebellion, just like he worried. The perfect keener princess's one spot of rebellion, it didn't mean anything to her.

Then all of a sudden, you're sick to your stomach. Is that still true? She might've not been the one to run away, but to say Casey was completely innocent in their dissolution would be a lie. It wasn't because she was anxious, it's because she met Simon and threw up because they'd gotten the call he was being born while making out. Is she still pretending nothing happened?

You said "forever," in the end I fought it. Derek ran. He fought it just as hard as she did, if not harder, for years, but the concept of a long term relationship with a girl who wouldn't even hold his fucking hand when they were home... Yeah, he fought that. It broke his heart in ways that probably can't be healed (which is so stupid. Because Casey obviously doesn't give a fuck. He was just her rebellion and freshman mistake) because they were on the precipice of labeling what they were when he ran away.

Please be honest, are we better for it? Despite popular opinion, Derek isn't a complete idiot. He knows he was worse for running away at first, knew it the moment he boarded the plane. But he might be better too. Without running away, they never would've had the kids. Still, his stupid heart worries he's wrong. That it was the biggest mistake of his life.

Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called. The expected outcome was for Casey to fucking hate him and never speak to Derek again. Instead of that, she was the first to initiate contact after he left with just a note to her.

And said, "I miss you." I caught it. She missed him. What a fucking thought, that the girl who Derek loved so much it was a physical pain in his chest. And now here she is, confessing (in a whisper so quiet Derek would've missed it was he not a pathetic shell of a pining man) that she misses him.

Good to each other, give it the summer. They agreed: wait the summer out to see each other in person. It would allow any remaining feelings to go away.

I knew, you too. Better than anyone else on the planet, Derek knows Casey. And she knows him in the same way.

But I only saw you once in December. Christmas became the only time they saw each other. And even then, with the kids and careers and Derek touring, Christmas wasn't always when they'd see each other. They just didn't. It sucked but they didn't see each other.

I'm still confused. It's been over a decade since their moment. But Jesus, Derek still can't still screw his head on around her. He still has so many questions about their Kingston days and his own feelings, but especially Casey's.

You said "forever" and I almost bought it. If Casey wouldn't panic every time Simon was brought up, every time someone even mentioned their siblings, he would've bought that she believed in a future for them. One with labels and a defined relationship. But he was smart and knew she was an inch from running away if he didn't.

I miss fighting in your old apartment. Fighting about absolutely anything was a rush. Casey... Fighting her is wired to turn him on, alright? So yeah, of course he misses fighting her. Anywhere. But in college, in her shitty dorm, fights could end in such fun ways.

Breaking dishes when you're disappointed. Did she ever actually break a dish? No, Casey thought that was a waste of money. They came pretty damn close doing the dishes at George and Nora's a few times when he'd do something particularly annoying and instead of doing the flush bright pink all the way down to her toes thing, she'd just get quiet.

I still love you, I promise. With every single woman in London, so many random one night stands to try and get over her, none worked. Derek Venturi has been in love with Casey McDonald for what's probably a pathetic amount of time.

Nothing happened in the way I wanted. Sometimes, when Sky's with her mom for the weekend and he's out with the boys, Derek will think back to his stupid teenage fantasies. A life, kids with Casey, getting her to split his name once a day and always, always making her smile. That's what he wanted. Not this weird friendship where there are so many things they don't talk about (Kingston and Peter, mainly) and there's an ocean between them.

Every corner of this house is haunted. Part of why Derek visits home so rarely is that every inch of George and Nora's has a memory with Casey, she's fucking everywhere. Like a... Evil ghost or something. Whatever it is, she is responsible and evil. And now she took over their new house! And he's living in her goddamn guest house and really, Derek should stop calling places home if he doesn't want them to be haunted by Casey.

And I know you said that we're not talking. Not in so many words, but there were a couple of years there where they just didn't talk. He got it; Casey has responsibilities and was in law school while raising a toddler and dealing with a neglectful husband but still. It hurt.

But I miss you, I'm sorry. Even when she's just a few dozen yards away, Derek misses Casey like a hole in the head. And heart.

I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse. Once they're reunited at George and Nora's, Derek knows leaving means going to a life knowing Casey's drowning and that's the last thing he wants. Staying is for her benefit as much as it is his own.

Everything I know brings me back to us. Music equals Casey, hockey equals Casey in his jersey (a dangerous thought), for fuck's sake, having a kid equals Casey. Everything is Casey, somehow. It's disgusting. He kinda loves it.

I don't wanna go, we've been here before. Because really, they've been together. He doesn't want to leave because he's had this gut feeling him and Casey are on the edge of something before. This is his chance to not fuck it up.

Everywhere I go leads me back to you. For god's sake, he went to Paris to get away from her and it didn't work. Casey is what the Derek Venturi compass always points to and he is simply a man. Who is he to deny destiny or whatever the fuck it is that has his heart practically labeled with her name?

[tys-kitty]

Well it ain't quite a cottage, but I do live in the country! It's one of those small everyone-knows-everyone towns and there are at least 5 other towns in walking distance.

I don't mind London as a day trip. During the summer my mama and I are going up on the train to visit some of the museums and see a show, but I don't think I could handle being there long term. I'm very much a homebody, you know? Most of mom's side of the family is down here with us, and I think if I didn't have that support system I would break down in a week.

I first read the Percy Jackson books when I was eleven, and I was practically vibrating waiting for the show. In the books it always broke my heart that Percy had to tell Annabeth her brother was a traitor, but honestly Annabeth being there made it so much worse! Leah is such a brilliant actress that I almost started crying!

If the picture Percy keeps of Annabeth in the next season is not one of her at Disney world, I may actually riot! "Be a kid" MY HEART

I think the angst may be one of the reasons QoAaD is my favourite. Sometimes you just need a good cry and a hopeful ending, you know?

(Also the art piece in particular I was talking about was this piece

https://images.app.goo.gl/hkPrdB6a1ad5YrB48 )

Sorry for ruining St. Valentines day for you, I guess? I know it's kind of morbid but I love the story. It's one of the only holidays I actually observe.

So I had never heard any of the songs you picked, so here's a running commentary:

Say don't go

"I would stay forever if you say 'don't go' " HOLY GUACAMOLE ITS SO KIT

"And I'm yours but you're not mine" I don't know if this is what you were thinking but I think to the Blackthorns (at least subconsciously) they're always gonna be Ty's Kit and Livvy's Ty.

"I said 'I love you'/you say nothing back" ITS LITERALLY THEM

"But you won't" it's so them it's actually painful

Into you

"A different country, yeah, maybe that'd be better" Kit absolutely heard this song and took it literally

"I wish we didn't have so many friends in common" that is in fact the downside of making friends with your crushes family and only your crushes family

"So I don't run right into you/even though that what I wanna do" it's so Kit it hurts

"I'm so defenceless when it comes to you" I fully believe Ty, Tessa, Jem and Jace are the only people to really see through Kit's guard (maybe dru, I haven't finished Secrets of Blackrhorn Hall yet)

I miss you, I'm sorry

"You said 'forever' in the end I fought it/please be honest are we we better for it?" Honestly, I think even if the resurrection hadn't happened, they still would have ended up splitting up for a bit, if only so Ty could learn to be just-Ty and not Ty-and-Livvy

"You said 'forever' and I almost bought it" I'm crying

"Nothing happened in the way I wanted/every corner of this house is haunted" screaming, crying, throwing up etc

"Everything I know brings me back to us" no but really, Ty and Kit only knew each other for what, a few weeks? Maybe a month or two at most? (I'm not good with timelines) But everything keeps coming back to each other, no matter how much they may not want it to

I know it won't work

"But it's a lot/all the shine of half a decade fading" I know it was only three years for them, but seeing them break down years worth of inaccurate mental images is going to break me

"And part of me wants to walk away 'til you really listen/I hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different" Cassie is a big fan of miscommunication, I know this, I'm prepared for this, I'm probably still going to end up crying tears of frustration

Your song choices have left me shaking, they're so perfect it's unreal

If I had to choose?

The night we met by Lord Huron

Let me down slowly by Alec Benjamin

Oh boy. Um, can I say all of them? Probably not. Magnus and Alec, definitely, as well as Kit and Ty. The third? Probably Henry and Charlotte

My hard question: top three platonic relationships in TSC?

-☀️

(P.S. don't worry about it, you take as long as you need)

I totally relate! I‘m also from the countryside, but am currently spending a lot of time in the city because of university. (To be fair the city isn‘t that big and has about 1 Million citizens)

You definitely have to tell me what your favourite museums and spots in London are! When I visited London last summer I was extremely fond of the Fleet Street, the St. James Park and the National Gallery. And I totally understand you (I’m a homebody myself). So when I moved out last October it was really tough and the only thing that was really reassuring was the fact that I share a flat with my sister and drive home every weekend (the city is only an hour ride from my hometown so it‘s fine)

So true! I‘m actually thinking about rereading the PJO books after watching the series. And yes Leah did such a great job, she‘s just the perfect Annabeth! I‘m so excited for the next season, I always loved the second book! Which PJO book is your favourite btw? Mine would have to the fourth (I have always been super interested in the labirynth!

Okay okay, I have to give it you. I‘m currently rereading QOAAD and I absolutely love it. It‘s been four years since I read it and I totally underestimated how good this book was. It has so many interesting plot lines and I just CAN‘T STOP READING!

Please don‘t feel sorry for sharing the true Valetine‘s story with me! It‘s actually super exciting to learn new things every day!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMFG! Not you listening to each song and sharing your commentary with me? 😭 I absolutely adore you for that (and sorry if those songs left you shaking - I think that‘s part of the experience)

STOP! The night we met is one of my favourite songs of all time and fits them so well! 🥹 And let me down slowly?

It fits them so well oh my lord 😭 (I love how we are giving each other song suggestions that are perfect for another nightly KitTy cry)

The really hard thing about this is to only name three because I love so many! But if I really must pick three it would be: Ty and Julian, Jem and Will, Matthew and James

What are yours?

My hard question: Your two favourite parabatai couples in TSC

[clouds-in-my-tea]

You said, "Forever, " in the end I fought it

Please be honest, are we better for it?

Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called

And said, "I miss you", I caught it

Good to each other, give it the summer

I knew you too

But I only saw you once in October

I'm still confused

You said, "Forever, " and I almost bought it

Nothin' happened in the way I wanted

Every corner of this house is haunted

[cursivebloodlines]

Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you? Then all of a sudden, you're sick to your stomach Is that still true?

You said, "Forever, " in the end I fought it Please be honest, are we better for it? Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called And said, "I miss you", I caught it

Good to each other, give it the summer I knew you too But I only saw you once in December I'm still confused

You said, "Forever, " and I almost bought it I miss fightin' in your old apartment Breakin' dishes when you're disappointed I still love you, I promise Nothin' happened in the way I wanted Every corner of this house is haunted And I know you said that we're not talkin' But I miss you, I'm sorry

I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse Everything I know brings me back to us I don't wanna go, we've been here before Everywhere I go leads me back to you (You said, "Forever, " and I almost bought it) I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse (I miss fighting in your old apartment) Everything I know brings me back to us (Breaking dishes when you're disappointed) I don't wanna go, we've been here before (I still love you, I promise) Everywhere I go leads me back to you (Nothing happened in the way I wanted) I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse (Every corner of this house is haunted) Everything I know brings me back to us (And I know you said that we're not talking) I don't wanna go, we've been here before (But I miss you) Everywhere I go leads me back to you I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse Everything I know brings me back to us I don't wanna go, we've been here before Everywhere I go leads me back to you

@overnightheartbeats

[colemorrison]

I miss you, I'm sorry by Gracie Abrams with r76? 🙏

Do you remember happy together?

I do, don't you?

It was crazy, he and Gabriel had been the happiest they could have been. They loved each other and they loved their job. “Gabriel Reyes, if you pull my hair one more time” he seethed rolling over to lay on top of the other “but your hair, its so soft.”

Then all of a sudden, you're sick to your stomach

Is that still true?

The explosion separated them, making Gabriel sick to his stomach, the smoke made it unable to breathe, his body trapped under rocks he would have died here. Maybe if he spoke to Jack again, him being sick to his stomach would have changed.

You said, "Forever," in the end I fought it

Please, be honest, are we better for it?

Yes he had meant forever yet now, he didn’t mean it anymore. Jack fought that word, and the ghost of his lover with it, Gabriel was gone, he had died in that explosion. Taking half of Jack Morrison with him, “are we better for it..?” The question was to no one, and everyone, it was directed to Jack’s mirror, the place he was free to watch how broken he had become.

Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called And said,

"I miss you"

I caught it

The letter was poorly sealed, Soldier 24’s chicken scratch handwriting covering the paper, he wasnt able to read it all without the tears flooding his eyes and dripping onto the paper. “I miss you..” were the only words he was able to read before his knees buckled and he hit the ground.

I caught it

Good to each other, give it the summer

I knew, you too

That summer they could to have spent together, if that god forsaken explosion didn’t kill Reyes and the rest of their relationship. They were happy and loving to each other, Jack knew him, REALLY knew him, yet now.. He didn’t know who he was, just what he used to be.

But I only saw you once in December

He hadn’t meant to find him, he just wanted food, a late night meal he and Gabriel had gotten when neither of them could sleep. His lovers eyes stared back at him but they were… different, they were red and angry. Yet somewhere in them laid his best friend and partner, he was confused, he had died yet he sent letters and was now around.

I'm still confused

You said, "Forever," and I almost bought it

I miss fighting in your old apartment

The toxicity of their work tore their relationship apart, Soldier stressed over the fact overwatch was banned, Reyes, trying to run Blackwatch but destroyed soldier’s love for him. Now that he and Gabriel didn’t talk he missed the arguing in their apartment, over silly little things. Yet maybe it wasn’t silly, maybe it was for the better that they split, love wasnt all flowers and they clearly experienced both sides of the petals.

Breaking dishes when you're disappointed

I still love you, I promise

Nothing happened in the way I wanted

They were two traumatised grown men, dishes being tossed around and shattered against their floor, yet no matter what Soldier remembered he still loved the other man. Everything that happened was against all of the now white haired man’s dreams, he wished it had gone differently, why couldn’t they have had different lives.

Every corner of this house is haunted

And I know you said that we're not talking

But I miss you, I'm sorry

Soldier stayed in their old apartment, he didn’t actually live there, he kept it in his name, paid the bills. He couldn’t stomach living there anymore, it hurt, Jack had his first real time here, he fell in love here. His heart was here along with all of his feelings for Reyes, Soldier blamed himself for their ending.

“I miss you, I’m sorry”

I have this hc that when he really missed soldier he’d send letters, not signed or anything but full of words that he wished he could say.

Thank you for requesting, enjoy :D.

[cycloptics]

This is basically a diary entry that gets dark but maybe it’s onto something? I needed it okay

Basically I’m just talking about art and being autistic and quitting my job after hitting burnout

And also some personal traumatic shit I guess

Please don’t feel inclined to read this if you don’t want to I think I just needed to put out my real fucking feelings into the world ya know?

Something really crazy has happened since I hit burnout.

I spent forever hating every piece of art I did, whether it was painting, drawing, or nail art. I’ve hated all of it, never thought I was good enough. I still don’t, of course, but I do atleast feel like I see potential during the process.

But now, since I’ve got the support of people who love my work, or love me, I’m able to look at it again (after a break of hyperfocus) and I can say “okay.. wow, that’s pretty good. I like that.” And that’s fucking HUGE! But what’s even crazier is I looked back and old work I did, work that sat in my sketchbooks abandoned forever, and I am like holy shit. I did that. And I love that.

I painted this in 2019-2020, I’m not even sure when, but I remember being in my apartment, I remember this being one of those pieces where I was desperate to make art. I desperately looked for ways to make a living doing art, just so I’d be able to paint. I bought a Wacom pen and a laptop, I was determined to learn digital art.. and I hated it. Then I bought an iPad and Apple Pencil, still didn’t love digital art. Then someone said “you should do nails” and I thought it was perfect. Then I went to school and did that. Worked my ass off. Went to the best salon in my area and worked there, killing myself and burning myself out in the process, trying to be perfect.

**TW: death, PTSD, loss of a pet, loss of a parent, hospitals**

Then my cat got sick, and even though I syringe fed him prescription food and cat pedialyte, gave him meds, and tried everything, he died.

Then a week later my dad tore his Achilles and ended up in the hospital with 2 DVTs and a PE. He then fought for 2 months to stay alive for us. I watched my dad code and survive multiple times, spent Christmas in ICU with him on a bipap to breathe, watched him lose his fucking mind, praying to god, almost fighting god, seizing, shaking, crying, desperately kissing me and my brothers heads while not being able to say anything other than beg god. I tried everything I could to bring his mind back, because it was my dads biggest fuckin fear was losing his mind. I brought pictures and showed him.. the guilt I feel for going to work while my dad was in the fucking hospital. The calls I got. The way he begged me to break him out of there, and I will always regret not doing that. I’ll never forget it the faces my dad made, the sounds he made, when delirium took over and he was so scared, and looked nothing like himself. Covered head to toe in bruises and restrained to the bed, because they tried to put a Bipap on him when he was sleeping. I’ll never forget seeing how broken my dad was, a man who was so prideful and stubborn, and whose biggest nightmare came true when his youngest daughter had to help him use the bathroom. The way my dad never wanted to seem weak, and the way my stepmom humiliated him. The way she made him sound so pathetic to the doctors that they gave him too much oxygen constantly, because she said he couldn’t do anything without almost suffocating. The way she lied and said he was on 2 liters every night, because that’s how she got her oxygen. She was on 2 liters. My dad refused to use it. The way that him getting too much oxygen made his COPD worse. How that’s what ended up being the cause of death. Not the blood clots that I was so terrified of, that it was COPD. I’ll never forget New Year’s Day and me having full blown OCD had texted everyone in my family begging them not to do laundry because it would mean my dad would die, and finding out my stepmom did laundry because she isn’t superstitious.. then that day finding out my dad was never gonna make it out. I’ll never forget moving to comfort care, and trying to make sure my dad heard all his favorite songs as we all said goodbye to him, or the fact that when it came down to it, my dad was taken off of everything and still refused to die in front of his kids. That my brother made us leave. And he died soon after we left the room. I’ll never forget falling asleep and swearing I’d hear his voice. Crying to Al green in my car. Going fully nonverbal after he died. I thought I knew death because my mom died, but I was wrong. I didn’t know death was so fucking UGLY.

Probably the worst part of death is finding out that it’s so fucking gutwrenchingly ugly. it’s so rarely peaceful. The portrayals I saw of it or heard of it, those were coping mechanisms from grieving people just hiding the reality of it.

I also can’t forgive my stepmom for cremating my dad when he had a literal plot next to my mom, with a headstone my grandfather carved (family biz was monuments) or the fact that she told everyone he didn’t want a funeral.

My dad would never have deprived his kids of the opportunity to grieve him properly.

So I don’t have his ashes, we never did any service, and I’m still pretty fucking fucked up from it.

Then two weeks later one of my best friends died, she was the same age my mom was, with kids the same ages me and my brothers were when my mom died, and she died suddenly with no warning, just like my mom. Her parents called me to tell me. Her dad a week before had reached out to see how I was doing when my dad passed. The universe really is funny that way.

Then another friend died, liver failure. Fucking what? And I couldn’t go to that funeral because I had to work, and I had already taken off too much time for all the other deaths. Couldn’t be the sad employee with all the dead friends and family members apparently. And it gnawed at me that I let work keep me from being with my dad when he was dying, that I missed a funeral because of the pressure to be at work, that I was having breakdowns during nail appointments and only heard about how fucking slow I was.

So I quit my fuckin job. And I regret nothing.

Am I broke as fuck? YES. Have I figured out how to make money for real? Nope. Have I listed anything? Nope. But I will.

Because burnout really taught me that I know what my real passion is in life and what makes me happy, and it’s fucking paint. And art supplies. And doodles. And hyper focusing on something and picking it apart for hours and not having someone over my shoulder telling me I’m too slow, or it’s not good enough.

I’m still in burnout, but if I didn’t hit it, I’d never have allowed myself to heal. I’d never have let myself focus on my actual needs, because I never let them matter. Just had to be a machine that did perfect work to make money for others while I took enough to pay my bills.

And tbh, I’m fine with only getting by, as long as I am doing something I actually enjoy.

Anyway. This started about me realizing that I don’t absolutely suck at art, but I think I really just needed to let out all of these feelings without worrying about anyone else’s. I people pleased through grief. What a dumb thing to do. Fuck masking. Fuck it. I’m done.

[purpleyearning]

Everybody: “YOU SAID FOREVER AND I ALMOST BOUGHT IT!”

Me: “YOU SAID FOREVER IN THE END I FOUGHT IT.”