#( character study: performance )

[astranauticus]

soliloquy

(edit once again i drew something with my ipad screen brightness too high and now that i've posted it nothing is visible. sad!)

[professional-rat-eater]

What I look like on the outside when internally I am having to physically restrain myself from publicly dunking on Marius de Romanus for the fifth time in less than a week:

(He just makes it so easy. All I have to do is quote his actual dialogue. He’s lowkey becoming one of my favourite characters to analyse. The drafts are piling up. It’s becoming a dissertation.)

[serenhob]

Going through a Howls moving castle cycle atm and why did nobody tell me that Howl is voiced by PATRICK BATEMAN, I can't get over it.

Every time he speaks all I can picture is this.

I'm gonna rewatch it in French cause I can't deal with that .

Edit: PEETA BREAD MELLARK VOICES MARKL. NOTHING IS REAL, REALITY IS AN ILLUSION AND IM LOSING MY MIND😭😭😭😭😭😭

[mochimouiemarty]

mime bomb redesign/drag persona!?!?!? ARGH. I will do more research and update design as I go.

very simple, a bit too similar to another persons awesomesauce design (person whom made this idea im looking at you), but he's pretty and that's all that matters/j

wanted to keep his outfit a bit breathable? flexible. idk.

i have so many more thoughts but I'm currently )()([)![)(#)@()+((1111?11?!?!!!1!1!1!1!1!1!!1!1!1 tired

( @artisthoi might wanna see this gang!!!)

[j-esbian]

anyone else hate the way that physical books are treated like sacred objects

look at me. you’re allowed to exist and have a physical impact on things and leave a mark on the world in whatever way that looks like

[lizord-lord]

(sidles up to you in a dark alleyway) hey. kid. i see you got yourself a blorbo there. couldn’t help but overhear, you said you’re an ‘apologist?’ oh- no judgement from me, none whatsoever, i just was wonderin’ if you wanted in on a trick of the trade, a little secret, yknow?

you don’t….GOTTA apologize. like, if you really think they’re doin’ alright, that’s one thing, all the power to ya kid- but if you’re twisting yourself into a pretzel tryna justify, or it gets real exhaustin’ bein’ on the defensive so much… y’know, it’s okay to like a fucked up little guy for being’ fucked up. sometimes you just wanna crack open their brain and take a peek inside, we’ve all been there! a blorbo ain’t a role model! i can’t even begin to tell ya how freein’ it is to not be worried about how justifiable a character’s bein’, just have FUN with whatever they’ve got goin’ on! and to be real honest with ya- sometimes thinkin’ about why someone can do fucked shit for an understandable reason can do ya some real good.

but again, just a tip, take it or leave it.. just sayin’. real weight off your shoulders just to say “this here’s my little guy, they’re the worst, and i love ‘em SO MUCH!” worth tryin, i’d say!

[shadowedvales-gone]

jane has a very warped, toxic relationship with the void, which stems particularly from her time with her friends, in the early days, opposed to her time in hawkins lab. she expects punishment in the lab for noncompliance, which is why she does everything papa asks of her, in fear for what may happen if she refuses. she soon comes to believe that her only use in the party is to find will, or they'll “send her back to pennhurst or wherever she comes from.” it’s a different kind of punishment, but the pressure to comply is the same. jane gets her first taste of freedom in season one, but still spends it imprisoned and in a role where so much of her is demanded physically and mentally. the scene especially in episode seven, when they're all around joyce's dining table, talking about her like she's a machine, proves this tenfold. at this point, she is off in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror, crying because she can't help these people. a twelve year old girl who has never been outside in her life, crying because she's letting these strangers down… and they're doing absolutely nothing to help her along with it. to make her feel secure and safe.

mike: but she's drained. dustin: like a bad battery. joyce: well, how do we make her better? mike: we don't. we just have to wait and try again. nancy: well, how long?!

it's all well and good when joyce tells her that she's right there for her when jane enters the void, tells her she is brave. but they are all, for the most part, willing to sacrifice her, her feelings, her safety, to get will back. they don't know the void, and while jane is physically there with them, they have no idea what it could do to her. i understand joyce is his mum, of course she'll stop at nothing until will is returned, but it doesn't justify the way jane is treated and spoken about like she isn't even there. joyce should be on her hands and knees thanking jane for traumatising herself to find her son. and hopper literally selling her out to the hawkins lab people, putting her back in brenner's custody don't even get me startedddd. like she isn't a little girl, like she matters less than will does. she is basically treated like a metal detector for the better part of the season. [like a dog. like a makeshift girlfriend. she's placed into so many different roles and uses by these people, and is never given a chance to determine what she may want.] i understand that no time could really be wasted in terms of finding will, but if even one of them had asked her how she felt, if she needed to take a break, it would have made all the difference. she would have pushed herself regardless, but at least it would have shown that not only will mattered.

but no one did ask. and it leaves jane feeling like it's okay to sacrifice herself to the void; it leaves her treating the void like it's less dangerous, less unknown than it really is. they are her friends, she loves these people, so if they say it’s fine for her to do this, then she believes it, and never stops believing it. this ties in so nicely to the debate between max and mike regarding her powers in season three: mike thinking jane should limit herself to keep safe, and max arguing that it's up to jane, that she knows her own limits. where in reality, she doesn't know any limits, because she was never taught to have them. [i don't specifically blame the boy's in this instance, because they were just kids in season one, but joyce and hopper, even nancy and jonathan, could've stepped up.] if anyone told her back then, when she was even more impressionable than she is now, that if she was scared, if she didn't want to do it, she didn't have to. she still would have, of course, but then and there it would have instilled the fact that she had choices. so when mike proclaims that it's not good for her to be in there for that long, jane thinks nothing of it, because she should have been told these things three years prior. it leaves her using the void like it's no big deal, never taking a minute to consider how it could be affecting her body and mind.

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A digital drawing based on María Álvarez from the film María, llena eres de gracia. There is a dull red border around the piece. Maria's face is only visible in a small square near the left corner of the border, looking off to the side with her hair messily drooping onto her face. Her mouth is open to show a sliver of her teeth, but her expression is unclear. This square is situated above a drawing of Mary - mother of God - but the angle is off and the elements don't align perfectly. Mary - who has a hand placed over her heart - is drawn with a blue, hooded robe atop a long-sleeved red shirt with a gold trim. She's wearing a doubled-up pearl necklace, which resembles the halo that is around both of their heads. This halo is made up of white, wrapped-up pellets of drugs. The background for Mary is a blue colour while María's is purple. On the border, the phrase "nombres/given name" (which is usually present on Colombian passports) is written, and below the border, in a larger text, it says "llena eres de gracia". The lineart is a thin, invariable, and dark blue.]

Inktober - Day 7 (Passport)

Film - María, llena eres de gracia (Joshua Marston, 2004)

[immobiliter]

pre-AQ, whenever furina opted to work with a theatre troupe, director or production, she would always insist that she is treated no differently to any other actor or member of the cast/crew. of course, the reality is a little more complex, i think having your god be a part of your show will absolutely impact your overall attitude, especially when that god has an incredibly keen eye and vision when it comes to offering advice or constructive criticism to a play or film. things famously don't end well for theatre troupes when you don't heed lady furina's expert advice.

but aside from her very strict personal stipulations when it comes to lending her talent to a troupe ( mostly the "on screen kissing is not allowed during rehearsals, only during the show itself" thing i've touched on before ), furina will work the same hours and to the same standard as anyone else working on the show. she will eat the same food, mingle with cast and crew ( i do think that some of the closest bonds she made while archon, outside of those who worked at the palais, would be within the world of the theatre. they are still mostly superficial and not long lasting seeing as her association ends the moment the show or production is over, but as someone who forbids herself from forming deep bonds they still matter to her ) and be an active part of the team.

her diva behaviour tends to arise when she doesn't get her own way or if she is already in a bad mood lmao. but on the whole, if you get along with her then she will generally be pretty agreeable and hardworking, such is her passion and love for the arts.

[controlledhues]

“ Now I have a third one I can study... ”

[lucksea]

being pretentious about popular characters sucks so bad because i have to keep seeing people who are living in different universes. like 1 youre taking the homophobia L and its not a good look. 2 you fell for it. you fell for his ruse. you looked at the mask and saw a face. he got you. he tricked you. you took performance for personality. youre not even winning. we are on different planets right now you and i

[christophersonhq]

i'm laughin' with my lover, makin' forts under covers trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

kyle christopherson x week five family week

"well...uh, i'm an orphan or whatever, and the only family i really got is max and his family so...this song is for max."

[clarkhq]

for a shield from the storm, for a friend for a love to keep me safe and warm, i turn to you. for the strength to be strong, for the will to carry on, for everything you do for everything that's true I turn to you.

catrina clark x week five family week

"well, for a while know it's been just me and my dad, and we don't always agree on everything, but he's so important to me, and he's like...my rock. so this is for my dad. and any other dad's here today that need to hear how important they are to their daughters..."

[smythehq]

sebastian smythe x week four disney week: glee performance

if a wall should come between us too high to climb, too hard to break through i know that love will lead us and find a way to bring me to you

[curiositysavesthecat]

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[girl4music]

I have to post this brilliant character study video analysis again and provide some commentary for it now that I have figured out what I actually want to say.

Five By Five Takes mentioned ‘Performance’.

“So much of Willow’s evolving identity is tied to the idea of performance. Becoming a competent witch helps Willow project a very curated idealized image of herself. One of the first iconic insults that Cordy makes towards her is about her appearance. It’s not just that she’s a nerd, it’s that someone else has dressed her. Think about the implications of that. So for Willow, her appearance, her identity and her confidence with magic becomes deeply entwined. And we can even see this with Dark Willow. Even grief-stricken, there’s a layer of performance here. Black hair, dark clothes, the corny maniacal villain lines. I’ve seen the dialogue here and Alyson’s performance get criticized as too hammy or cartoonishly evil but I think that’s kind of the point if we read Willow as purposefully putting on a front. So much of Willow has been costumes. This is just her latest and most intense.”

This piece of commentary is on the money for Willow.

I always talk about performance regarding Willow Rosenberg. I believe in this interpretation so much that I actually think Willow never appears authentically as who she actually is throughout her entire arc. But at the same time - I also believe that because her authentic self isn’t ever a solitary or specific thing at any point. Her identity is not solid or permanent. It’s malleable and fleeting. It fluctuates wildly all the time to the point where anything she identifies as is entirely performative. It’s only who she is to make up for her negative perceived image of herself and the image that she believes of others constantly perceiving of her. And both these images are one and the same. Because she deep down perceives of her character as the weak and ugly loser, she also believes everyone else that she loves and that love her perceives of her character that way too. And there is quite a few moments where there is evidence for this so she’s not just making it up entirely based on her paranoia of not having control and neurotic feelings of unworthiness. She has experiences where people do actually express that she’s weak and ugly. It’s just those people don’t really know her very well and therefore don’t matter. Like Percy for example. He directly expresses the way he perceives of Willow to his then-girlfriend and Willow hears these comments about her and immediately gets uncomfortable at the notion that Percy sees her as a nerd and therefore not physically appealing. It bothers her and is on her mind so much that she directly expresses it to Buffy over the phone what he said and immediately defends her character. She hasn’t been a nerd for a long time. She’s cool now.

Does she actually believe it or is she just performing? Is she just trying to tell and convince herself that this perception of her character isn’t true but ultimately fears that it is and always will be the truth about her?

Well, it’s hard to say for sure until her dream in ‘Restless’ that she feels this way about herself because there’s no direct statement of it by her. However, I am very well aware of this behaviour in insecure people. So no, I don’t believe she truly believes and perceives of herself as “cool now”. I think she’s just performing as “cool now” and that her immediate defensiveness proves that she is because truly authentic people don’t have to defend their their character at all. Like Oz. He is never boastful of his “cool” identity. Other insecure people like Xander point it out for him. He never needs to because, to him, it’s not a big deal if he is “cool”. He is just himself because he is happy being himself. He wears his confidence authentically and so “cool” naturally follows because he isn’t trying to be something that he is not. He never really needs to think about his identity. It’s his nature that he is conflicted on but that’s only because he is a werewolf. If he wasn’t - nothing would ever faze him. He’d always be confident in who he is or how he is. Contrasting somebody like Oz with Willow is quite the striking difference because while Willow is so insistent on performing an identity, Oz has no such needs or desires to perform as anyone. And I love how he always tries to tell Willow that she doesn’t have to prove anything to him for him to love her and stay with her. It’s not about her at all why he eventually breaks up with and leaves her. She’s the one that believes of it that way. Of course she would.

So ‘Performance’ is a key part of Willow’s entire arc. It’s practically the only thing that she ever does in the show. And sadly, this is never truly ever properly addressed or concluded for much of the reasons Five By Five Takes mentions. But it should have been because this was Willow’s real problem. Not addiction. That occurred because of the aforementioned issues. If they didn’t make it so much about the magic but rather how Willow uses it to offset her insecurities how the addiction becomes a major problem, then I reckon she would have had a better concluded arc. I have said that I do really like her endgame - but at the same time - I do have quite a few criticisms with it.