#( not even gonna tag this as crack )

[housewifebuck]

911 texts 1/?

[johnslittlespoon]

I know it’s more cat vibes but do you think Buck ever uses a spray bottle on Bucky when he misbehaves?

I JUST LAUGHED SO LOUD WHEN THIS ONE CAME IN i slapped my hand over my mouth so fast PLEASEEE ???!!!!

i actually love this so much i'm so sorry i can't stop giggling.

imagine: post–war buckbucky, living together in a cute little apartment or rancher with a couple cats (they don't need a dog, they've got john, that's more than enough lol). naturally this means they've got spray bottles scattered around the house to protect the kitchen counters and the arms of couches from kitty claws.

thinking about john being very food motivated and always trying to waltz into the kitchen while gale is cooking to steal food behind his back, and gale doesn't really mind, but sometimes john eats just plain ingredients that he's not done with and then he has to chop up more and it's just a tiny bit frustrating (he can't ever actually stay mad though.)

one evening after an incident like this, john, unaware of the extra work he's created for gale and the patience he's drained, comes back in twenty minutes later for a second sweep through, and the moment his hand settles on a sliced tomato, he's spritzed in the face with a sudden blast of cold water.

the look of absolute betrayal and shock he gives gale as he blinks at him with water dripping from his curls, eyelashes clumped together, hand frozen on the tomato slice. gale's got the spray bottle aimed at him like it's a weapon and john can't help the laugh he barks out as he goes to pick up the tomato slice again in defiance, not expecting the second spray that gets him right in the open mouth this time.

sputters out a "hello?" and gale just twitches the bottle at him in a wordless 'and i'll do it again' and john reluctantly retracts his hand with a grumble, stealing the towel draped over gale's shoulder to dry his face, muttering "like i'm one of the damn cats" on his way out. only when he's gone does gale let out a snort, leaning against the counter as he laughs with the image of drowned–rat, kicked–puppy john replaying in his mind.

(bonus: one day they've got friends over in the dining room and john follows gale back into the kitchen under the guise of 'helping', but he's all touchy when he comes up behind him, pressing his hips a little too hard against gale's, and gale unthinkingly reaches for the spray bottle and gives him enough of a spritz to offend him out of his inopportune horniness lmfao.)

[average-dragon-enjoyer64]

why aren’t there more fics of teenage soukoku just. fucking around and everyone else having to suffer the consequences because of it.

like i wanna read a fic about how neither of them were ever allowed vacations again in the mafia bc mori gave them one and now they’re banned in several countries

i wanna read about how chuuya got drunk as fuck and accidentally released arahabaki on some guy who pissed him off and now there’s a random crater in the city somewhere and dazai will never let him live it down.

please give me skk fic recommendations where they’re just being silly criminal teens. preferably that give mori either death or a cancerous headache.

[sals-sonic]

This is a bit of a joke post but it's kind of funny to imagine an anti saying something like “fiction doesn't affect reality, huh? Well, what about the Bible?? That's a text that influenced reality!”, completely disregarding how religion is not treated as fiction by believers and that that is the reason why it can't be compared to a novel 💀

This is a made up scenario of course, so really I'm making fun of nothing, though I do hope that none of them could ever be this dense. Still, the fact antis, as a baseline, don't seem to understand that fiction doesn't predetermine a person's actions and/or brainwashes their morals, sometimes makes me worry if I have to be completely honest

[kindahoping4forever]

Calum @ The 5SOS Show Tour LA - 14 September 2023

[xxcherrycherixx]

Ok listen: ghost blondie lockes.

Bestie fucking died (no one knows, they just think blondie ran away from home and never came back) and lives as a ghost just vibing. When cupid comes to ever after high she’s surprised to see that ghosts exist here too, blondie ends up casually stalking her since cupid is new and shes still nosy even in death. Cupid confronts her and blondie looks shocked that someone can actually see her. The two become friends since cupid is literally the only bitch who can see or communicate with her, wacky hijinks ensue.

[welcometogrouchland]

Pls pls pls pls pls post the willow spiderman au pls pls pls for meeeeeee

[ID: a digital sketch of willow from the owl house with a Spider-Man inspired design. It's based on her flyer derby uniform, with red and blue swapped for green and yellow, and webs on the tank top. She has a mask on with yellow eyes and is doing an action pose. vines come out of her web shooters. the background is pale yellow. End ID]

Mob goon voice ON IT BOSS!!! And a BONUS just for you- Huntlow Spiderman kiss:

[ID: two pieces of fanart depicting Hunter and Willow doing the Spider-Man kiss. In the first image, Willow is in her Spider-Man design and hunter is in his golden guard outfit. She's upside down and they're both leaning in, about to kiss. The second image is the same as the first but with an alternate, pink and yellow colour palette. The background is pink in both. End ID] (@toh-described)

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Has Katniss or Peeta ever farted during sex?

Anon, I hate you right now. I hate you for how hysterically this ask made me laugh. I hate you because I wrote this *waves hands around vaguely* ridiculous thing, instead of making any real progress on my WIPs. So I'm gonna call you out for this, because your question is either that of someone with a very juvenile sense of humor, or someone who's had enough sex irl to know the kinds of funny/embarrassing/ridiculous things that can happen when bodies are involved. Or both. Enjoy whatever this is.

<3 kdnfb

“Katniss, would you please come out of there?” Peeta calls, leaning on his forearm crutch and knocking on their bathroom door.

“No!” she shouts. “Go away, Peeta!”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” he tries to soothe, but he knows he’s failing because he’s trying so hard not to laugh. “It’s not like you did it on purpose.”

The door flies open and he quickly tries to wipe the amusement off his face. Her narrowed eyes and deepening scowl tell him that he’s definitely failing.

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who farted in the middle of an orgasm!”

“I barely even felt it,” he says and then cracks with a short laugh before managing to get the rest out. “Even if I definitely smelled it.”

“Argh!” she shouts and slams the door in his face again. He takes a moment to get his laughter under control. Trying to understand how embarrassed Katniss probably is.

“Besides,” he says and knocks softly on the door again. “I’m choosing to take it as a compliment.”

“How the fuck is that a compliment?”

“Felt so good you just couldn’t control yourself,” he says and his mind easily jumps back to the sight of her above him, her body undulating in a frenzy and the loud, erotic sounds she was making. The feel of her riding his cock like that had him nearly undone right there with her. Her silence now, on the other side of the door, has him thinking maybe she’s remembering it too. How hot and incredible it was.

Until the hot puff of air hit his balls and the stench filled the room.

“Kind of like a belch being a compliment to a chef?” he offers and Katniss snorts loudly.

“Don't pull that stupid boy stuff on me. That’s not a compliment. It’s just bad manners.”

“Alright, Effie,” he says and rolls his eyes, grinning as he hears her protesting scoff through the door.

“Take it back!” she shouts and flings the door open when he doesn’t. She pursues him to the bed and pushes him just enough that he sits down. But he’s not complaining. Naked, infuriated Katniss does things to him.

Only she’s not entirely infuriated. Her lips are twitching. Peeta grins and wraps his arms around her waist, peering up at her innocently as he can.

“Alright, I take it back. But I’m never lighting romantic candles for us again. Wouldn’t want your flatulence causing our sex to literally send the room up in flames.”

[pocketgalaxies]

marisha's riegel ad-induced suffering: episode 3x05

[ex0rin]

You don't sound like a Fed.

You don't really look like one, either.

Jack Quaid | Woman in Red

Meant to appear harmless but to catch trainees' attention. She makes eye contact with the subject and smiles flirtatiously upon crossing paths. the matrix (1999)

[doublejango]

Bryce Tankthrust: What the fuck? Who are you people? Why are you staring at me? Are you checking me out? Where the fuck am I? Blitz: -grins- Hi, I'm Blitz. The O is silent, and frankly, I don't think you're ever going to earn it. Bryce: Ewww -checks calendar- Fuck, it's June! I meant, aww! Blitz: -grins more- Moxxie: -slightly manic smile- Angel: -finger waves from where he's draped seductively over a parked car- Charlie: -waves excitedly!- Vaggie: babe, no Bryce: oh my god, is this Hell? Nooooo, no, no no. See, no. No. There's no way, there is no fucking way I'm in Hell. I have paid off WAY too many charity thugs to end up here with the plebs! Lucifer: -strolls up, twirling his cane- Well, you finally got one thing right. Welcome, Ms. Tankthrust. We are thrilled to have you here... where it is always, ALWAYS Pride.

[gazelessmenagerie]

So I'm guessing he doesn't own a Naughty Dragon 😏

[disastersteps]

holds hands to their face

the thought of anita staring out, weither it was to strung a guitar or in the middle of the project, or just staring out. eyes blank, feeling afloat. floating. floating.

floating until two set of hands on their shoulders- each hand held firm and soft. but different.

and anita blinks, life in their eyes come, and they look up. behind them. ortega with her firm hand, and mortum with her soft hand.

anchors. how it is possible to have two anchors.

of course having two anchors hold you down from floating away, of course it kept you from losing yourself- who you were and who you are now.

and simply. ............. yeah.

[kisaraslover]

i was going for comedic violence but it looks too kinky i cant lmao i cant do it anymore i really cant

[not-eli]

Guys I left the td fandom alone for a month why is the aleheather tag so empty do y'all fr need me😭/jk ofc but what

[bluedalahorse]

AU part 2: in the YR early 00s megafandom, where are you reading your non-Wilmon fics?

You’ve probably seen my post by now about YR as an early 2000s livejournal megafandom, with speculations about what the different fanfic archives would be and how we’d all interact. You may have also voted in my poll about which Wilmon archive you’d frequent (but if you haven’t there’s still time.)

One poll remains, and that focuses on which non-Wilmon archive you’d be spending time at. If you are of my internet generation, you can answer this poll based on the ways you were doing fandom at the time. Confess your dark secrets! Or you can just go with vibes. This does not have to line up with your IRL YR fandom identity.

Feel free to reblog and add to your alternate universe fandom story! Tell us more about your crossovers, your sparkly graphics, your Y2K character playlists that you have burned onto a CD and cried over. (Don’t forget the time you ended up on fandom_wank!)