#( which is saying something bc /you/ know i can drop a long rant about pearl when i want to )

[daydadahlias]

Ooh i would love for u to rant about why fine print ash is your fave! (If you want to ofcourse x)

beware: me talking abt my own fic like I'm not the one who wrote it.

thank u sm for this opportunity for me to gush abt my guys asdfghj i am abt to talk so much im sorry in advance wow

ok so FP ash is my fave for several reasons. Buckle up for a book report:

1. mans is hot. I absolutely love the "character design" of this Ashton. Which is to say: messy black hair, ascots, loose shirts, and nipple piercings!! I love his nipple piercings so much !! I mean I love this part of the fic just because think about it!! this is the kind of guy that not only gets his nipples pierced but wears fancy nipple rings! with pearls! that says so much about him right there.

Specifically, he’s drawn to the piercings on Ashton’s chest, the small decorative barbells that are on his nipples, a tiny pearl just beneath them attached to a silver ring that’s sparkling in the lighting of the hotel room.

2. not to pat myself on the back but he's funny. he's a little mean-spirited in his humor too, I think, but never to the point of being a full blown asshole (and his initial bitchy behavior is explained later so). Non-asshole but still semi-rude guy is Hard to write and I'm glad he comes across the way he does!! I think he's a sassy charming little guy with a heart of gold. Also this is just one of my favorite exchanges in a fic of mine ever:

He can’t help but grit out, “God, don’t tell me you’re homophobic or something now too.”

Ashton’s mouth drops open in a loud, disbelieving laugh as he stares at Luke. “Homoph—Dipshit, I’m gay.”

3. He stands up for himself. like, ok, was he kind of bratty to Luke in the beginning? yes he was absolutely. But he had his reasons and I’d say he’s fairly justified in having initial prejudices. And idk, I just really appreciate him being open abt that in one of his earliest interactions with luke. he doesn't mince words and he doesn't pretend to like him. he does his job but he makes it perfectly clear that he's not going to pushed around. He takes no shit!

“I’ve done this a long time, dude.” He raises his large hand to cut off any words Luke was even hoping on saying. “And I know by now that means you want an assistant but you don’t wanna pay the extra cash that job title and resume would require so—” He gives Luke a stiff smile that doesn’t reach his eyes— “I’m just saving us the time and orders and bullshit and I’m doing the job we both know you want me to do. So are you absolutely sure you want those nachos? Because you really seem like the kind of guy who wants a grilled salmon.”

4. he is a consent king!! one of the things I like about this Ashton (bc I’m me ofc) is that he is very careful about boundaries. And it's not in a... bend over backwards to not make someone uncomfortable way but just the acknowledgement that he understands why Luke is hurting and that he wants to do whatever he can to help. And it was also very important of me for Ashton to not only to acknowledge Luke's fear but also sympathize with it. He's the only person in Luke's life who agrees that he would also be scared if he were in that situation. And that's a reassurance Luke really needs at this time in the story so I think it's a great illustration of why these two little cuties make sense together!!

And then Ashton adds, bumping his shoulder into Luke’s and staying close, “I’m sorry. I get why you’re freaked out. I would be too. If there’s anything I can do to make you more comfortable in the hotel rooms, just let me know.”

5. He has the capability of violence but never actually acts on it. I really love protective characters and I love characters that can make their partner feel safe. Obviously, since Ash is Luke's bodyguard in this fic, his whole job is to keep Luke physically safe. And, a lot of the times, bodyguards are portrayed as really Intimidating and Scary people. And, yeah, this version of Ash is intimidating but I never really think of him as scary, which is an important distinction. for instance, the scene at the party where Ashton gets the impression Luke is in danger and threatens a guy for him.

And he says, nothing about his voice anything less than terrifying, “If you ever put your hands on him again, I will break them, do you understand me?”

This shows that Ash definitely has the ability to hurt people if need be. but also, it's important to note that even when Luke was with this guy and Ashton perceived him as threatening, he didn't Attack him. He didn't engage in any kind of physical altercation at all. He just asks what the guy said to Luke and then immediately focuses on Luke's well-being instead of attacking whoever he thought was the reason behind Luke’s distress. It shows that his priority is Luke's safety first, not violence or holding someone "responsible."

6. He establishes his own boundaries. I think a lot of times, in order to make others more comfortable, people neglect their own boundaries and that can often put pressure on a relationship and create a very unhealthy dynamic. so it was important for me to show that FP Ash isn't just setting aside his own comfort levels to take care of Luke. And, whenever their wants don't align, he offers compromises and other possible solutions. <3

He says, in as even and kind a voice as he can, obviously knowing the words are going to hurt, “Luke, I’m not going to sleep in the same bed with you, okay? Especially not when you’re drunk. That’s not something I’m comfortable with. I’m sorry.”

Luke’s vision is getting blurry. His voice comes out cracked. “No, I’m sorry. I’m just—I’m so tired and it helps when there’s someone there and I-"

“Shh.” Ashton lowers himself back to sit on the edge of the bed. “Luke, it’s gonna be fine. Here, I’ll sit with you until you fall asleep instead, would that be okay?”

7. He's cute!! Character contrasts can be really hard to write at times and this Ashton in particular is so... filled with layers and direct contradictions. it's difficult to make him somehow kind of a Dick but not Mean and sassy but not rude and youthful but not innocent or naïve and... yeah, he's a lot of things all in one and it was hard to make him feel like the same person throughout. And, for most of the fic, I wouldn't say this Ash is particularly adorable because he is consistently putting up walls to protect himself but then, as he gets more comfortable with Luke, there are little moments where he's just Cute and carefree as he lets his guard down.

Ashton trills happily and puts his toothbrush back, expressing enthusiastically, “Yesh! Thwanks. Lo’e my nwame.”

&

Ashton laughs at him, mocking an offended expression. “Mr. Hemmings! Sir! You can’t say a thing like that to me! You’re my boss!” He fans himself exaggeratedly. “Oh, whatever would the girls back home think? My superior attempting to invite me to a whore house! My God, I feel faint!”

8. He's a respectful slut. I've at this point in my fanfic career written a lot of slutty guys, as you may have noticed. I love writing slutty characters. And one of the things I really like about this Ash is that he is definitely sex-positive. He’s a touch of a whore. But, unlike a lot of my other slutty characters, he's not very... raunchy. He always waits for the other person to make the first move, even if he actively enjoys sex and talking about it at times. At no point does he actively flirt with Luke or try and entice him into sexual situations (even if he makes a few jokes about their fictional sex life and also gets a little defensive in the beginning of the story about Luke possibly contracting him for sexual favors). Once he and Luke are comfortable with one another, he is always careful to keep from pushing too far and after they kiss, he never so much as alludes to wanting to go any further. But he's also very open about enjoying sex!! and he doesn't feel bad about it <33 which is something I appreciate it.

Luke brows are drawn up sadly. He says, in a voice as quiet as he can make it without it being silent, “You’re not a slut.”

“Oh, I very much am.” Ashton giggles, rubbing his cheek against his arm. “It’s kind of a personality trait of mine.”

9. He understands the importance of having secrets. Obviously, in the last chapter of the fic, readers learn that Ashton has known the album was co-written the entire time. And he never told anyone. I think it says a lot about him that not only did he keep the secret to himself (even when he initially disliked Luke) but also, he didn't even tell Luke he knew because he didn't want to make Luke worry about it being used as blackmail against him.

“I heard you on the phone with him the first night,” Ashton explains like he's scared to, playing his bottom lip through his teeth. “I’ve known the entire time.”

“And you—” Luke gapes— “And you didn’t tell anyone?”

“Of course not.” Ashton reaches out to clasp at Luke’s knee fondly with a large hand, holding on tight. “That’s your secret. Not mine. I’m not gonna tell anyone.”

10. He never asks for more than someone's willing to give. This is genuinely one of my favorite "confession" scenes I've ever written just for this bit right here:

Ashton shrugs. “You gave a lot of yourself to him. I get it. And I get that part of you still loves him. Maybe part of you always will. But whatever part you’ve got left to give, I want it if you’re willing to give it. Whatever you want to give of you, I’ll take. I want all of it.”

11. He's so unbelievably chill. To this point in his life, FP Ash has been through a lot of bad stuff and he is at the phase where he just could not give A Single Shit. And I just love it. I love the casual attitude of "eh, if I can't control it, why bother caring about it?" It's something that's very important to balance Anxiety-ridden Luke out. It's the kind of attitude he really needs to be around, especially after being with someone who was also so terrified of perception.

He nuzzles into Ashton’s shoulder, chortling softly while blush decorates his cheeks and wonders, lips almost touching Ashton’s hot skin, “It didn’t upset you at all? Really?”

“No.” Ashton’s voice is close to his hair, proving to Luke that Ashton’s head is still currently tipped down to look at him and he probably still has that cute double chin. “That’s not a story about me. It’s a story about a guy with my face and my name but it isn’t me. So why would it bother me?”

12. He's a mystery. Everything we learn about Ashton's past, we learn from someone else without Ashton’s consent. In fact, it’s kind of implied that Ashton has been trying to hide his past. This is mostly a technical story thing but FP Ashton, for the most part, remains a mystery to us throughout the fic. And, honestly, even by the end of the fic we still don't know That Much about him. But I really like when Luke starts discovering Young Ashton through twitter and it's an entirely different version of Ash to the guy he currently knows. It insinuates that - in the world of this fic - Ash was a different person before. He was a session drummer from Sydney with honey hair and a more open, happy-go-lucky attitude. So that means that something happened to alter him. Something made him change career paths and give up music. Something made him dye his hair. Something made him different. What was it??

There’s one video that circles more than the others. A video of a honey-haired guy banging on a drum kit with a condor tattoo on the back of his neck. It’s Ashton. Maybe. Sort of. It’s a part of him. It’s a version of Ashton that Luke has never known before.

But this version of Ashton is the one that decorates his phone now. This honey-haired, dimpled young guy who plays drums and flips off the camera while giggling.

Luke thinks obsessed is a strong word to use… but he’s obsessed with him. He’s overwhelmed by him. This younger piece of Ashton who grins bashfully whenever the camera is pointed at him and plays drums in such a way that with every beat, a jolt of electricity rocks through him so his entire body moves when he plays.

Obviously, this description is meant to be a contrast to the Ashton readers have gotten to know to this point. Current Ashton isn't very bashful by any stretch and he doesn't have honey hair anymore and he doesn't play drums. At no point in Fine Print does Ash ever even so much allude to having played music in the past even though he’s working for a musician. So this insinuates that there's a tension between him and music. Which the begs the question!! why!! why doesn't he play drums anymore!! Who knows!! and we never find out lmfao!! I never tell you guys!! I just really love having a character that has so many questions a reader can fill in on their own if they want to. And this Ash is full of questions!!! There's so much about him readers simply don't know. All you know about him, really, is his personality. You know that he's a little sassy and a little sweet and a little cruel in the most kind way. And that’s all you really need to know to love the little guy.

So, yeah, that's why I love my boy <3

thank you sm for asking

[t4twolfstar]

Pearl Jam songs as the marauders' story

listen here

explanations under read more

Red Mosquito - Remus is bit by Greyback

two steps ahead of him, punctures in your neck…/ Hoverin' just above your bed... (2x)/ I was bitten...must have been the devil…/ He was just paying me…/ A little visit, reminding me of his presence…

Jeremy - most of the song, Sirius

Okay so we’re going to look at the verses not the refrain for this one bc (TW su*) this song is based on an actual boy who diy died in front of his class so like no we’re not relating to that part but the “Clearly I remember/ Pickin’ on the boy/ Seemed a harmless little fuck/ But we unleashed the lion….Daddy didn't give affection, no/And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear”

Daughter - Sirius at home

Trans sirius in an abusive household………. “Mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it/Tries to make her proud/ The shades go down, it's in her head/ Painted room, can't deny that something's wrong/ Don’t call me daughter, not fit to”

Leash - Sirius and Remus’ toxic codependent love and then yelling at the establishment/people who say they’re too young going too deep too hard too fast

“Troubled souls unite/ We got ourselves tonight, oh/ I am fuel you are friends we got the means to make amends/ I am lost I'm no guide but I'm by your side/ I am right by your side….We will find a way we will find our place/ Drop the leash drop the leash/Get outta' my fuckin' face”

Why Go? - Sirius becoming disenchanted w his family

Trans Sirius too of course. She seems to be stronger/ But what they want/ Her to be is weak/ She could play pretend/ She could join the game, boy/ She could be another clone….don’t come visit/mother/ why go home?

Blood - Sirius’ family trying to make him into something he’s not

Spin me round/ Roll me over/ Fucking circus/ Stab it down/ One way needle/ Pulled so slowly/ Drains and spills/ Soaks the pages/ Fills their sponges/ It’s my blood/ It’s my blood

WMA - basically about all the big pureblood families that can get away w anything

“He won the lottery when he was born/ Took his mothers white breast to his tongue/ Do no wrong so clean cut/ Dirty his hands, it comes right off” (tw for song: police, implied police violence)

Do the Evolution - Sirius ranting abt/mocking his family

Admire me, admire my home/ Admire my son, he's my clone…./ I'll do what I want but irresponsibly/ It’s evolution, baby/ I’m a thief, I'm a liar/ There’s my church, I sing in the choir:/ (Hallelujah, hallelujah)

Bushleaguer - abt the aristocracy etc

This song is literally about George bush lmao but I love it abt the upper class

“Born on third, thinks he got a triple…./The aristocrat choir sings, "what's the ruckus?”/ The haves have not a clue/ The immenseness of suffering”

Mind your manners - You guessed it - Sirius rejecting his family

I've got an unfortunate feelin’/ I've been beaten down/I feel I don't believe/ And now the truth is coming out/ What they've taken is more than a vow/ They’ve taken your innocence/ And then they throw them on a burning fire/ All along they're sayin’/ Mind your manners

My father’s son - SIRIUS

I am my father's son,/ Yeah, too bad he was a psychopath and now I'm the next in line, , dear mother, yes, surely she's a work of art,…/Can I get a reprieve?/ This gene pool dark and deep…./Now father you're dead and gone and I'm finally free to be me,/ Thanks for all your dark gifts for which I've got no sympathy,/ I’m living in a walled-up place in the bounds of 5th symphony

Yellow Ledbetter - Sirius

Okay so 97% of the the lyrics are indecipherable when Eddie sings them but you can hear I don’t wanna stay

Go - Regulus to Sirius as he’s trying to leave

(Abuse tw) So sorry about this one yall …… .but yes I think this is regulus finally realizing that he shouldn’t have let things get so bad at home (Sirius blames him for not stepping in even tho he’s a child there’s nuance here etc) and he’s begging Sirius not to leave him here “Oh please don't go out on me don't go out on me now/ Never acted up before don't go on me now/ I swear I never took it for granted just thought of it now/ Suppose I abused you just passing it on….I pulled the covers over him shoulda' pulled the alarm/ Turned to my nemesis…Please don't go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ please”

Rearviewmirror - Sirius running away

(Tw abuse) Time to emancipate/ I guess it was the beatings made me wise….Forced to endure/ What I could not forgive/ I seem to look away/ Wounds in the mirror waved/ It wasn't my surface most defiled

Can’t Keep - Sirius running away from home

I want to shake/ I want to wind out/ I want to leave/ This mind and shout/ I’ve lived/ All this life/ Like an ocean/ In disguise/ I don't live for ever/ You can't keep/ Me here

Hail, Hail - Remus and Sirius’ codependent strong love

A how I love you till the day I die...ah and beyond…/ are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?/ It’s egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry…

Release - Remus thinking about his dad

Remus’ dad is so full of guilt for his hand in remus’ transformations that he extracted himself from remus’ life. Remus laments here, “Oh, dear dad/ Can you see me now?/ I am myself/ Like you somehow” “I'll hold the pain/Release me” he’d would rather have a dad, guilt and all, here, than the self appointed absence but since you left me with the absence and grief and loss of it, at least release me from it, loosen your grip so I can move on.

Present Tense - Sirius and Remus talking probably laying in the forbidden forest assuaging one another’s beliefs of the gnarled beasts they think they are

BUGS - prob remus when he turns before the boys know

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Who you are - probably James at remus when he thinks he’s a big monster

Who are we?/ Who we are./ What’s your part? Who you are / You are who you are.

Save you - GOD THIS SONGG okay this is probably James @ Sirius when home life is bad and also Sirius @ Remus and also Remus @ Sirius it’s all of them @ all of them

Gonna save you fucker, not gonna lose you/ Feeling cocky and strong, can't let you go,/ Too important to me/ Too important to us, we'd be lost without you/ Baby, let yourself fall, I'm right below you now/ And fuck me if I say something you don't want to hear/ And fuck if you only hear what you want to hear/ Fuck me if I care, but I'm not leaving here/ You helped me when I was down, I'll help when you're down/ Why are you hitting yourself, c'mon hit me instead

Life Wasted - Sirius @ Reg re: leaving

I escaped it, a life wasted./ I’m never going back again…./ You're always saying you're too weak to be Strong./ You’re harder on yourself than just about Anyone/ Why swim the channel just to get this far?/ Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Severed Hand - Reg joins the death eaters

Big man stands behind an open door/ Said, leave your lady on the cement floor./ Got some kicks, want to take a ride?/ I said, yeah!/ Oh please understand I just need, my friend,/ A way a way a way home

Brain of J. - Reg and Sirius arguing after he joins the death eaters

The whole world will be different soon/ The whole world will be relieving/ You, you've been taught/ We’d been the same, now they got you in line/ Stand behind the stripes/ There will be order, so give it a good mind…./And by name/ The name they gave me/ The name I'm letting go

Deep - Regulus knows he’s in too deep

This is Regulus knowing he’s in too deep, Voldemort and the death eaters are such bad fucking people and he’s in too deep now (massive tw for this song for drugs and se*ual violence)

“Ponders his Maker, ponders his will/ in too deep/ can’t touch the bottom”

Pilate - Remus abt Sirius ;0)

Like Pilate I have a dog/ (Obeys listens kisses loves)/ Walks me out of town/ Still one's a crowd/ Making angels in the dirt/ Looking up looking all around

You Are - in love 🥰

Love is a tower/ Of strength to me/ I am the shoreline/ But you're the sea

Red Bar - the war begins

War, I’m crazy/ War I’m crazy I’m war the song is also a lil goofy so it’s maybe just like going crazy being so in it that it’s funny now

Porch - WARTIME EVERYONE @ THEIR LOVERS

It’s the war and everyone knows today could be their last day and tensions are running high in relationships and they love each other so much and need each other but snap at one another nonetheless

What the fuck is this world running to?/ You didn't leave a message/ At least I could have learned your voice one last time/ Daily minefield, this could be my time by you/ Would you hit me? Would you hit me?/ Hear my name, take a good look/ This could be the day/ Hold my hand, walk beside me

Thin Air - babes in love

There's a light, when my baby's in my arms,/ There’s a light, when the window shades are drawn…/ And I know she's reached my heart, in thin air.

All or None - More war time songs soz

Here's the selfless confession/ Leading me back to war/ Can we help that our destinations/ Are the ones we've been before?/ I still try to run on/ But it's all or none

Parting Ways - Lily @ James during the war

She knows their future's burning/ But she can smile just the same, same/ And though her mood is fine today/ There’s a fear they'll soon be parting ways

Love Boat Caption - Sirius/Remus, Lily/James, etc etc. during the war

Love boat captain/ Take the reigns and steer us towards the clear, here/ It’s already been sung, but it can't be said enough/ All you need is loveIt's an art to live with pain/ Mix the light into grey/ Lost nine friends we'll never know/ Two years ago today/ And if our lives became too long/ Would it add to our regret?…./Hold me and make it the truthThat when all is lost, there will be you

Evacuation - going into hiding

Lukin- Lily and James have to go into hiding

(Tw st*lking mention in explanation, gun mention in song) The song was written by Eddie when he was being stalked and he had to bring himself and his wife to a friend’s house for safety.

In Hiding - Lily and James are in hiding and enter Peter

No way in or out/ I turned and walked the hallways/ And pulled the curtains down…./I swallow the truth to keep from lying/ i'm no longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now/ Yeah, it's funny how things change so much/ It’s all state of mind

Once - Peter Pettigrew betraying the marauders

Literally about someone committing a mass murder. “Once upon a time I could control myself.” “Mimic whats insane.”

Around the Bend - I'm so sorry ummm but Lily to Harry on Halloween 💀

I am wishing you a well…./ I hold your head deep in my arms/ My fingertips, they close your eyes/ Off you dream, my little child/ There’s a sun around the bend/ Please forgive me, won't you, dear?/ Please forgive and let me share with you, around the bend/ You’re an angel when you sleep/ How I want your soul to keep, on and on around the bend

Garden - Sirius being taken to Azkaban

He’s just taking his fate as it comes to him.

The direction of the eye/ So misleading/ The defection of the soul/ Nauseously quick/I will walk, with my hands bound/ I will walk, with my face blood/ I will walk, with my shadow flag/ Into your garden/ Garden of stone

Even flow - IS SO VERY MUCH SIRIUS IN AZKABAN

sung from the pov of an incarcerated person waiting for life to begin again

BUGS - Sirius in Azkaban (yes I already said this abt remus but idc)

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Black - Remus lamenting about Sirius’ perceived deception

Remembering their love and how now so many of his memories are tainted (by) black and that all of this has changed him fundamentally (star imagery, “black”, “tattooed everything”)

Indifference - Sirius in grimmauld place, sirius in Azkaban

Sirius taking his home life in stride until he can leave, taking Azkaban in stride bc it doesn’t matter any way bc he believes he deserve it anyway

“Pretend I'm free to roam/ I will make my way/ Through one more day in hell/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I will hold the candle/ Till it burns up my arm/ Oh, I'll keep takin' punches/ Until their will grows tired/ Oh, I will stare the sun down/ Until my eyes go blind/ Hey, I won't change direction/ And I won't change my mind/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I’ll swallow poison, until I grow immune/ I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room”

Alive - Remus post ’81

Eddie originally wrote the song as a lament - why did I live when he didn’t? Why am I still alive?

“Is something wrong she said, of course there is, you’re still alive she said, but do I deserve to be?”

Animal - Remus after ’81 when he needs to transform alone

Feat. A throwback to being turned (so tw: abd*ction) “Torture from you to me, yeah/Abducted from the street/I'd rather be with an animal”

Nothingman - Sirius and Remus after ’81

Once divided nothing left to subtract/ Some words when spoken can't be taken back/ Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking/ Future’s above but in the past he's slow and sinking…./ She once believed in every story he had to tell/ One day she stiffened took the other side/ Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell/ One just escapes one's left inside the well

Smile - Remus @ the marauders (except it’s after ’81 and he just thinks of them fondly)

Don't it make you smile?/ I miss you already/ I miss you always/ I miss you already/ I miss you all day/ This is how I feel/ Three crooked hearts swirls all around/ Don’t it make you smile?

In my tree - remus abt sirius after ’81

I remember him, yeah…/ I swore I knew everything, oh yeah…/ They say knowledge is a dream, yeah…/ He's growing up just like me, yeah…

Light Years - Remus abt Sirius

But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why/ I’ve come up with riddles and jokes about war/ I’ve figured out numbers and what they're for/ I’ve understood feelings and I've understood words/ But how could you be taken away?/ Back pages and days alone that could have been spent/ Together, but we were miles apart Every inch between us becomes light years now

I’m open - Remus!!!! Post ’81

After spending half his life searching he still felt as blank/ As the ceiling at which he stared/ He is alive but feels absolutely nothing/ So is he?/ When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him/…..So this is what it's like to be an adult/ If he only knew now what he knew then

Thumbing my Way - Remus post ’81 again blah blah ikik

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me/ If there was a key you took it in your hand/ There’s no wrong or right but I'm sure there's good and bad/ The questions linger overhead

Rats - we know how remus like to soliloquize …. This is him waxing poetic about how fucking horrible Peter is

The song itself is kind of listing the many ills of humankind saying how rats don’t compare to people bc they don’t do all this. But Peter isnt really a rat. He’s a man and oppresses like a man and betrays like a man and takes like a man.

“Drink the blood of their so-called best friend….They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way….Don't take what's not theirs“

Oceans - Sirius escaping Azkaban

Hold on to the thread/ The currents will shift, glide me towards/ You know something's left/ And we're all allowed to dream of the next…..The sea will rise/ Please stand by the shore/ I will be there once more

Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town - Sirius after Azkaban

200004309248% sirius returning from 12 years isolated. He doesn’t really recognize most things. Remus wouldn’t recognize him. He’s different. Changed by being unchanged. He couldn’t grow and learn and morph and become. He stagnated yet decayed. But he’s back and he recognizes your skin and your breath. He’s back.

Off He Goes - Sirius is a Sagittarius in the first half, second half is post PoA

Know a man his face seemed pulled and tense/ Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds/ So I approach with tact/ Suggest that he should relax/ But he's always movin' much too fast/ Said he'll see me on the flip side/ On this trip he's taken for a ride…./ And now I rub my eyes for he has returned/ Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned/ For he still smiles and he's still strong/ Nothing’s changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown/ And now he's home, and we're laughing, like we always did/ My same old, same old friend/ Until a quarter-to-ten

All Those Yesterdays - and cue the bath scene, remus washes his lost love

Don't you think you oughta rest?/ Don’t you think you oughta lay you head down?/ You don't think there's time to stop/ There’s time enough for you to lay your head down tonight tonight/ Let it wash away/ All those yesterdays

[braverytaught]

(I love reading your meta posts. They're always a delight to read, tbh, and you make me love McGonagall more and more with every post. Which isn't that hard since she's my favorite to begin with.)

aw thanks friend!! i’m always delighted (and slightly baffled) to hear that people enjoy my metas - every time someone likes one, i always think, you actually read that whole thing? are you crazy? - because they’re super fun to write and think about, but always end up getting a little out of hand lmao. if i can spread the mcgonagall love then i’m doing my job :D

[acquagalaxies]

my bits for “Together Alone”

It’s incredible how much happened in just 11 minutes, as It’s difficult to even decide where to start. Hard was also to not scream every 0.5 seconds for all the things the crewniverse and miss Sugar dropped in. Since already many of us covered up a lot of the stuff that have been proposed in a marvelous way, with all the references of the case, I’d just write down some thoughts I had in mind. to join my rant about an episode that blow my mind and try to talk calm-

THEY LITERALLY CONFIRMED THE “WHITE PEARL/ONCE PINK PEARL” THEORY IN THE FIRST FEW SECONDS CARTOON NETWORK U WANT ME TO DIE I HAD A STROKE SOMEONE HOLD ME I CAN BEAR THIS WITH MY ONLY STRENGH.

Ehm. So. What is presented to us I think is something like we saw in “Jungle Moon”: one of Pink Diamond’s past memories that appears in the shape of a dream, distorted by Steven’s mind (since, is in fact a dream and not just a vision/hallucination), which is a normal thing while one is dreaming, the brain in the unconscious state works and interprets things in a little bit different way, especially when it comes to memories: in the dream world the situation can take some sort of “surreal” twist that of course changes from what happened in reality and from what you remember consciously, in this case Yellow Diamond’s massively long neck (I wonder if the crewniverse is aware of the fandom’s YD giraffe neck meme and add it on purpose).

(the fact this all could have been a dream is evident already by the very first frame of the episode, when we see all the Diamonds’ ships on Homeworld perfectly intact, this alone made me confused at first for how strange and impossible it was, since we all know Yellow and Blue had to leave their ships on Earth for their being broken at the moment due to the events of Reunited.)

Aside that, the moment I loved the most is watching the complicity between Steven and this pearl (pretending to perform their role as what they’re supposed to do/be in front of others, satisfying their expectations so said others would not have anything to argue with, like Yellow smiling seeing everything seems to be at its right place, and when they’re alone again goofing around happily) that is just an altered reflection from the memory, in this case what is really shown is the bond Pink Diamond shared with who seems to be confirmed as her former pearl.

I couldn’t hold only inside a smile, because it’s heart-warming seeing this kind of relationship with someone else, with happy moments, laughter and bubbles, you can see that Pink treated her pearl like a close friend and most important, like an equal (many gems should take this behavior as a suggestion and moral model, but it’s very hard in their so hierarchical society to treat “lower gems” as your peer). By watching first the Jungle Moon flashback and Legs from here to Homeworld, I feared the physical damage that the now-white-pearl shows is the result of Pink Diamond’s infamous bursts of rage (since the first time she is introduced in Jungle Moon, Pink seemed used to this bad temper from what is seen to us, by this “brat and capricious behavior” of going around hitting things bc your parents didn’t give to you what you’re whining for) ended bad. I’m glad to see otherwise it’s apparently not Pink’s direct fault after all instead, the two seemed to share a more than good relationship.

(little thought: the way Steven lands graciously on the floor after his juggler number sweetly reminds me a bit when the young Greg met Rose in the old temple after their conversation on the beach.)

By this carefree spirit of hers and peaceful kind attitude, even a bit childish, the other diamonds maybe thought that was the pearl being a “bad influence” for Pink, deciding after to replace her with another (that’s why it is a little heart-breaking in now we’re only falling apart while Pink is trying to have a conversation with Pearl, she probably missed that complicity and the chatty moments with her old pearl, and because she wanted them to be friends and buddies, not just servant and master, encouraging Pearl to have her own thoughts and be self-conscious).

• but why keeping a broken pearl and not directly get rid of if the society cares so much of maintain only perfectly functional gems? What if White decided to keep Pink/White Pearl to make her be a constant walking reminder to Pink Diamond of who is really the one who commands and of what could happen if she tries again to make a gem behaving “different from how she is supposed to be and do”, or treats them differently from “the value” they own (like treating Pink Pearl an equal despite pearls are considered so much less, especially compared to a diamond). That’s creepy enough, I question if White was so cruel to make Pink watching while her so loved Pearl and (only real) friend turns from that pink fluffy sunshine ball into an empty shell smiling puppet without anything else left, ripped away from thoughts and individuality, a perfect obedient servant that would never get against your authority or retort your words.

The even sadder thing is, even if Steven will succeed in “bringing” back white pearl at her old self (something still welcomed just sayin’, #save the precious), still Pink Diamond, her diamond, the gem she was made for and with she shared that bond, is not here anymore.

Pink pearl has cinnamon buns on her hair bc like them she’s a cinnamon roll herself.

another heart-breaking detail is, by hearing them laugh, the voice getting from Pink Pearl’s mouth is patently Deedee Magno Hall’s, so Pearl’s supposed-to-be true voice. I’m weeping.

Then everything, pinkish and joyful, slowly becomes a grey dull nightmare, with Pink Pearl fading away into the void. Puking hair (whatever your own or someone else’s) in a dream often is the representation of the desire of expression about something that is denied. The will of wanting to express and be yourself that instead is being repressed (by someone, some situation, ecc.).  Or can also representing, in this particular case, White Diamond trying to push outside by force Rose Quartz’s persona/facade, a fake self, away from her Starlight.

Also, we’re finally able to see White’s hands (nails rigorously polished, I adore, as the cloak, so in style). Is not such important stuff but I appreciated that.

The pebbles are so adorable, they seems to love Pink Diamond’s very much (probably she was the only one that treat them decently, since apparently the word “pebble” is used in gem language also as a not-so-kind epithet? See Peridot using it with Steven when she was released from the bubble seasons ago), and I found  somehow cute (?) hearing one of them exclaiming “Pink is moving again” (which is totally reasonable since gems don’t have total acknowledge of what dreams are and what means sleeping in general, since is not something needful to them as is resting for organic beings). Plus, they apparently became attached at Connie too, that’s so sweet. Just to add, the green male pebble (which is also incredible to see a “kind” of gem being a “he”) chilling with Steven’s phone from the previous episode is so #icon. I love these little creatures.

“It almost feels like home” just being immediately replied with Garnet underlining embittered “almost” like to precise no matter how much the pebbles make the furnishing resembling as much as they can the real ones from Steven’s house back on Earth, still is not really “home”.

That grasps my heart a bit by hearing Blue Diamond, so emotionally and happily, announced than “we haven’t had Pink in 6000 years!”, since they still believe the one in front of them is always Pink Diamond and can’t well comprehend yet this aspect is not just a form Pink shapes for her amusement (just listening Yellow saying to her pearl “help her since she seems to have so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld”. But time to time), and getting worried this choice would not be liked by White, labeled as one of Pink’s usual childish jokes.

Ok but, someone pointed out that, “if the Diamond don’t throw a ball from 6000 years, then what about the Cosmic Jubilee Lars crashed in?” Well good question, I guess that is categorized as some kind of another event to participate at? I don’t think from Pink Diamond’s demise they never threw any party for other celebrations (a new colonial conquering for example).

Steven in the pink diamond’s outfit is a babe. It gives me the impression he actually wears It better than his mother.

What Yellow Pearl means exactly with “accept” or “reject” the members of Steven’s court? And… what happen to the ones that has been rejected from their diamonds?

Just realizing White’s throne other being of her dominant white shade, it actually reflects the colors of yellow, blue and pink, in the spots they’re placed the other thrones. Beside than being pretty aesthetical, it’s calling me the fact real life pure diamonds, reflecting the light, could do those spectacles of colors and reflections.

“Everyone stay where they belong” and Steven immediately floats near his friends and family. Bae.   smol beam of sunshine.

I really loved the explanation of what means to have “fun”, something you like to do, could it even be a passion or a simple playtime, for the good feelings it brings to you.

The pearls interactions, and the discovering of Blue Pearl’s hobby for drawing and Yellow’s for being a model just gives me life. I love the pearls and still want to learn more about their dynamics. Still, one of the moments that gives me chills is YP saying that “her feelings don’t matter” and how proudly she actually said it. Not gonna be surprised, we all know the conditions and how the pearls are considered in Homeworld society, as I know how much YP worships her diamond and how she considers herself lucky by having the “privilege” to serve the maximum rank of all gems. But still, it’s sad hearing someone states something like that without a problem.

OK SO. Since the very first Diamond Days trailer I was curious about one scene in particular: the one in which Blue Diamond separates with such brutality Steven from the group. I didn’t want to speculate about this just because I wanted first the context of the situation, and after seeing it… it actually makes more sense. I know people addressed this as Blue having a bitchy behavior because apparently she doesn’t want a Diamond that mingles herself with other gems (that compared to said Diamond, still remain lower beings, is like don’t wanting the princess of a country to get along with the farmers and peasants), but now it’s kinda reasonable? I mean, it’s still hurtful, but since White Diamond would be there, she’s afraid the gem matriarch would not be happy to see this kind out-of-the-rules behavior, and I’m sure no one would ever want to see White angry, am I wrong? Blue someways tries to protect Steven (and everyone’s asses) from doing a mistake in front of WD that could cost them. Still, it’s just the impression all the scene gave me, maybe I’m wrong.

NO NO BLUE, I UNDERSTAND YOU CAN’T FULLY COMPREHEND THE EARTH AND THE HUMAN HABITS, HOW ALL THERE WORK, CHANGE AND GROW, THAT IS SOMETHING BEYOND YOUR USUAL KNOWLEDGE, BUT DON’T DARE TO ADRESS CONNIE A SECOND TIME AS A “PET”, ‘kay?? Maybe she doesn’t do it through malice, but I really want episodes in which Steven teaches them with kindness and patience the beauties and worth of Earth, the things Pink Diamonds saw in the nature and its creatures, what took her to re-think her colonial project to preserve all of this, how magnificent and so different can be life, the organic beings, to change their consideration of them as inferior, they (we) just have another ways to live, to think and to do, that’s all. And when it comes talking about Amethyst…

“oh boy, here it comes…”

I know millions already talked and pointed out this but, I’m so proud of the character development  Amethyst is showing to us, already from the Heart of Crystal Gems arc. She has let behind her shoulders all the struggle, the feeling out of place, “wrong”, for being so different from the other quartz soldiers (“different” doesn’t mean “wrong”, and this is a very important teaching); she matures and understood it’s as alright as the way she is, and mean words from others is not worth her consideration, her tears, anymore, while in the past the same situation and phrases would have back the reaction to burst into trembling fury or silent crying.

From this dialogue whatever, it makes me consider one thing, probably “overcooked” gems seem not to be that much of scandal and dishonor (unless, Blue would have made more fussing about Amethyst and not allowed her into the ball in the first place): as long as they are, even with their “disabilities” and disadvantages, functional and useful for the society, it’s more or less consented and accepted. To not forget, Era 02 was for Homeworld a time of crisis in the production of gems due to less resources, so it’s not so shocked to see gems like Amethyst, or our Peridot, with less compared to the Era 01 gems, but still capable to fulfil a purpose.

Blue, for goddammit sake, let Garnet alone, together alone, thank you. at least, I’m content they included in this episode more lore, talking about the other types of “Garnets” presented on this planet: the Hessonites, of which we already have some acknowledge, thanks to the name dropped previously in Legs from Here to Homeworld and the contribution of  the “Save the light” game, that gives us clues on how they look like (someone else, beside me, prays to have the pleasure to see the same Hessonite from the game in the show? That would be cool, I can’t deny);

but also the Demantoids

And the Pyropes

However, who Blue just listed apparently are not invited at the ball. I’m not sure what kind of gems the ones presented above are, but they don’t seem to be Garnets however (the designs of those on the left – the green/yellow group – are kinda fascinating, not the same in my tastes for the ones on the right, but it concerns almost the “Thomas the Tank Engine” gems. Bad design in my opinion, but good memes for that. Interesting the choice to their “skirts” resembling gears, reminding Homeworld reflects a perfectly mechanic system where everyone has its specific place and purpose, working as, in fact, a gear in this immense society, and by fulfilling that purpose, this said society moves on and on, like a huge mechanism moved by the work of every single of its components – it’s also directly/indirectly underlined by their dancing afterwards, especially in the shooting sequence from above).

Look, look how many beautiful Garnets. Jokes aside, I’m really happy having the chance to see other sapphires (other rubies would same welcomed, of course), I already get in sympathy the cheek-gem one and the other few steps behind with a similar hairstyle like our Sapphire, but shorter:

oooh look these sapphires that never saw it comiiiiing

This is a one more time love for Garnet: even if she says moments before she’d not come, annoyed and angry for Blue Diamond’s talk to follow with head down the rules, she decides to do it for Steven, as Connie suggested, to give him the maximum support at the point to stay unfused for him. This, is real love too.

Aaand now here it comes the Diamonds!! Spectacular entry on the red carpet. Yellow is particular amused about how the project of the ball turned out, complimenting with Pink/Steven for the result (if she arrives to the point to congratulate with you and said that your idea is brilliant, you really did a good job then).

(same we could say for the future episodes)

E X T R A diamonds posing the way of their murals portrait.

as it is releasing sparkles and shimmers through the throne room at your subjects. because they’re glimmering and magnificent (shine like a diamond 🎶)

Icons. I adore. I can’t blame the random crow gem dropping tears, it’s so relatable I’d do the same.

Or the other one getting thrilled by the entrance of Yellow Diamond. I can’t blame her either.

But honestly, dat blue diamond hips sway. She is so elegant in her postures, a queen.

I know it sound so out of contest in the current talking but damn, Blue Diamond’s voice is so ASMR, soft and gentle. I especially feel nice chills hearing her says “you’re doing great”. Just. Fantastic.

“White Diamond… has more important things to attend to”  but 🙃, for real bro? It’s fucking new Homeworld Era ball. Pink Diamond return!! guess it’s important???? Poor Steven, he was so hopeful to catch the opportunity to finally talk to her (comparing my reaction with his when this was announced you won’t find any difference)

“Therefore, I will be here to observe in her place.”

How nobody says nothing about? a P-E-A-R-L that has the permission to stay on her diamond’s throne and be presented at her diamond’s place in sostitution. I don’t believe is something allowed to the other pearls (owed by a diamond or another high rank gem), to substitute their master and sit on their place during these events, even for Yellow P. or Blue P., or even our Pearl in her time on Homeowrld at the service of Pink Diamond. But maybe due to being the pearl of the most important Diamond and, if it’s her Diamond that orders her, it’s understandable and accepted. Dunno buddies.

Also, among all these crowds, it makes me remember Zircon’s words at the trial of what kind of gems were once in Pink Diamond’s entourage: where are the Agates, since there’re amethysts and quartz soldiers in attendance. Wasn’t their job to keep them on the line? And those sapphires? Are Pink Diamond’s? Or, since sapphires are considered aristocratic and not so common gems, this small group represent the only and all sapphires in the entire Homeworld? Another question, if not and there’d be others to meet, all Homeworld!Sapphires are all like classical blue sapphires or exist others of different types, like Padparadscha, but without being “off-colors”?

Plus, I’m sure the green/yellow gems are not from PD’s court but from Blue and Yellow’s (tiny hinted by those two react with emotion at their entrance, and we don’t see them greeting Pink like the other group do), but… there is none White Diamond’s gems (except the pearl, of course). After all, Yellow Pearl said  gems by the Diamonds are accepted or rejected. Think about it, maybe it’s why there’re no white gems…

But seriously tho, does White Diamond actually have her own court or directly ALL the entire society with all its gems is considered as “her court”, the other Diamonds included? Since her being the Mother of all gem kind and its supreme ruler, that would actually make more sense than the other way around.

Ok now, everyone get crazy about Connie’s “clever” move to drag Steven into dancing with her. I want to say, I don’t doom Connie for, quoting from others, “have been dumb”, instead, I appreciate her effort to cheering her friend up, as he always does to her. She knows she can’t totally be part of this world (due to many things, not being a gem, living a kind of life style so different from Homeworld standards, another mind-setting, and also c’mon, she is just a very young girl, you can’t pretend) , but she wants to stay on Steven’s side and support him as much as she can, to make smile again a friend so emotionally and mentally tired and down. She believed few moments of dance, enough to raise up Steven’s moral, would not hurt anyone, and no one intended to fuse, that was accidental. Many other replied that, thinking of it, every time that they danced on screen, they fused, so how did not see that coming?. Yes, every time on screen, but all the other times, off-screen? Like, on other afternoons, and at Garnet’s wedding after the ceremony, we don’t see them on the dance floor but I’m sure they didn’t miss the occasion to dance together and have fun. Not less important to mention, it was supposed to be a call-back, as the title of the episode, at “Alone Together”, as “The question” from the previous arc did with the older episode “The Answer”.

Plus, even Stevonnie is so adorable with Pink Diamond’s outfit. Pure bae.

While watching this gesture with the hands, I like to think is Steven and Connie individually still holding hands from the dancing, just a second before realizing now the hands of one became the hands of the other as well.

Oh, and there we are. Things fucked up in the worst of the scenarios. (there’d be a lot to say in particular about White Pearl’s frown at the sign of Connie and Steven twirling happily together, but all my thoughts I collected in a separated post, giving to that theory its own space, that I’d link here). Yellow whisper with tight teeth “Pink what are you doing?” is a cause of bad news.

And then the Crystal Gems come at the rescue, with Garnet and Opal (!!! before taking her down in 0.2 seconds, why this cartoon network, do you really want, at the end of the series, people coming up with videos like “every time Opal shows up” just to be, if everything went good, two and half minutes long? Is what you really want, CN?)

But the real surprise came with her:

from the end credits of the episode it’s “Jade”, she is actually very adorable: this little missing tooth, these sunshine eyes and the gem-stones placed like two puffy cheeks make her even more sweet (judging by the combination of her dress, I was right saying the yellow and green gem from before during the entrances of the diamonds belong respectively to Yellow’s and Blue’s court). It’s admirable having the courage to do “coming out”, encouraged by the CG’s bravery, standing for what they have fate in and for what is right, even if it means getting against the society’s stricter rules and meet the judge of the rulers themselves, with all the possible consequences. I’m sure she believed Pink/Steven, by her influence dictated by her high rank status, would approve and legalize cross-gem fusions and decided to stay by this diamond side. “I knew I couldn’t be the only one” is sorrowful to hear, so away from Homeworld’s eyes exist other gems of different types that fuse for love, but have to keep it hidden to not meet an horrible fate (shattered or possibly harvested). That’s sad. Let them be.

Also, love Stevonnie and Opal staring at Garnet like “yo man, you’re the fusion expert, what about that?”, and Garnet is just idk stuff dudes.

ok but, it’s not that Ruby and Sapphire lost their wedding rings after being poofed, right? … right…? (#edit after ChangeYourMind watching: thank the Lord it didn’t happen)

Scene: *everyone poofed, delirium, everything went wrong and Stevonnie is grounded* the evil gremlin inside my head: new outfits/new intro?

Last thing, I just want to make a point about Stevonnie’s “prison”:

A dark locked place at the top of a tower. Now, some time ago, Rebecca Sugar took part on a livestream with other cartoon creators, on the occasion, while talking about different stuff, Alex Hirsch (creator of Gravity Falls), asks miss Sugar what would happen if a gem was placed in a dark room for a long amount of time. Rebecca simply replied “I can’t answer that”, surely because if she does, it could be spoiler for the upcoming episodes (this constant keeping it secret is an ongoing situation with her, lol). The fact is, we all know the physical form of a gem is a projection of light that shapes in actual matter, to allow them to interact, act and speak, and it’s from light itself a gem takes her nutriment (and not from food, like organics do).

So deprive a gem of light (whatever kind: the sunlight, the moonlight, the stars’ light, natural light or artificial light), of her only nutriment, is the equivalent of making her “starving”? Adopted as a form of torture for gems considered needing a punishment for a possible wrong action?

A gem in a room surrounded only by darkness, without even the tiniest glimmer of light, what happens when she reaches her limit and lost all the energies left? Would she became a simple, faded, inanimate gemstone as the our ones from Earth?

Bonus: Who noticed that?

Since the answer I always had the anxiety these two rubies get shattered for ineptitude towards the mission to strike down the rebels and protect Sapphire. I’m glad they’re still around then.