#((thank GOD for tumblr updating the image limit))

[wolfsbaneandthistle]

How do the worm holes of tLB universe work?! I'd love to know

I have needed to flesh space travel out for so long so thank you to @milkyfederation for giving me the inspiration and motivation to do this

Text is in the ID if tumblr decides to be mean about the image quality. In addition to the gate being very small, wormholes are only open for extremely short amounts of time. The smaller, more efficient generators can stay open for a few hours at a time, but most other gates can only open long enough for a single ship to go through. What causes this problem isn’t a lack of or the desire to save energy, but is rather the instability of the wormholes themselves. Wormholes just really do not want to exist, and keeping one open long enough to get a ship through safely is a struggle as-is. Gates can close and reopen multiple times in a short span though, so this isn’t necessarily an issue.

and oh my god long post. uh oh

What is more of an issue is scheduling.

The way wormholes are scheduled to open in the Little Bird’s setting is heavily regulated by the galactic government. The way it’s set up is that they want all of the active wormholes to bend reality on one plane, kind of sectioning the universe. They do this mostly for safety, because they don’t know what would happen if they tried to bend the universe in too many directions at once. This means that each gate will have a set destination for a certain amount of time, and their destination is determined by where they’re scheduled to go.

The plane reality is bent on does change, usually every week or so, so that each planet’s local wormhole can have a different destination for some time. But overall it does make travel, shipping, and communication at some times to be rather difficult.

Communication is heavily affected by wormhole access, but less so than the other two.

Little guy. These are allowed onto ships and planets, so you don’t need to go all the way out to a transport wormhole to get the news. Granted. They aren’t really good for talking to other people on other planets. There are a handful of ‘websites’ that run on these guys, but when you’re actually in a populated area you can really only open them for a second or so. More than enough time to download the morning news or send a pre-written email, not enough time to load a social media page.

When on a planet there are usually a few of these in orbit, so anyone on-world can stay updated. These ones can also stay open for quite a bit longer. Or turn off and on again, whatever needs to happen so that your feed is actually up to date. The ‘websites’ that run on them are usually government, military, or the one really large social platform though, so if you want to use those your options are still limited.

The Little Bird having one of these is a little unusual, since it isn’t a deep space ship, but it’s not unheard of.

And uhhhhh

I'm a little sad I can't put a read more under a read more. anyways map :)

[ask-dgs-221bbakerstreet]

heya everyone!! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ it's your favorite little sister from the future!

soooo polly left for khura'in again a few days ago, and now it's just me, daddy, and athena... (╥﹏╥) the service over there isn't that great, or so i hear, so it might be a while before apollo says anything again. but!!! i won't let that get me down, especially ever since hearing polly might actually be a distant relative of daddy's!

anyway, business has been reaaally slow lately, and i'm getting ready for university so i can't help out as much as i'd like.ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ which is why i'm hanging out with athena today!! we haven't been able to spend time with eachother as much so i thought it would be nice to do that, and since she hasn't met you all yet, i thought she could introduce herself today!!

apparently, she's going to set something up for her big reveal! i'm not sure what it is, but i'm handing my laptop to her right now just to set it up!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ

- trucy ☆♪♡

......

Hmm...

This has got to work somehow...!

.......

...........?

!!!

Trucy, get over here! It actually worked!!!

!!!

Seriously...?!

I knew you could do it, Athena!

Aww! Thanks, Truce!

Bonjour!! I'm Athena Cykes, Attorney at Law! I work with Mr. Wright and Trucy, here at the Wright Anything Agency.

I'm also pretty good at analytical psychology, which I helped to implement in the courtroom!

You're not just pretty good, 'Thena! You're the best!

Well, you all already know me! Trucy Wright, magician extraordinaire, in the flesh!

We probably won't be using this method of communication much, since it took so much time to set up, but Athena wanted a big entrance so...

It was a fun few hours, though!

Hehehe, I couldn't help myself!

W-Well, anyway! I hope to talk to more of you soon, especially Miss Mikotoba! She really inspired me to become an attorney, among other things.

Cykes Out!

Get a grip, Athena!

Shut up, Widget! You're ruining my moment!

- Athena Cykes ☆

((athena 2d sprites!

i hope this wasn't too much, mod! i had a lot of fun making it, i probably won't do too much of this but athena just had to make a big entrance y'know!))

---

THIS IS INCREDIBLE!

I would love to see more of your technology, Thena!

I wonder, has future technology been adapted from ours? This seems quite like Daddy and I's projections.

O-Oh, I inspired you, Miss Cykes? That's so wonderful to hear...

It's wonderful to meet you, Athena Cykes! Everyone else says hello, too!

[decamarks]

I know people have stated many times before that Tumblr's presence as a social media site is distinct from others due to its sense of community—and this brand identity is definitely being encouraged by the site's staff/marketing team—but it genuinely does make me happy, and it makes the site itself feel worthwhile and worth caring about. I'm always intrigued by the little changes being made, regardless of if they're good or bad; it's not like other sites where every update is nigh incomprehensible to its users, and generally followed with nothing more than a sigh and a "Oh god what is it this time". I'm genuinely interested in the mechanics of all these new updates: what they serve to improve, the purpose behind their implementation, etc. That or I'm saying "Oh god what is it this time" with a bewildered, morbid sort of glee, which is equally good.

This interest is encouraged by staff blogs like changes and wip, and that's just a fun kind of relationship to have to a website. Rather than silently accepting whatever new nonsense a corporation has decided to do to their site (presumably in the interest of exploiting their users in terms of time & money), Tumblr's sense of community tends to encourage exploration of what exactly it is being changed—critically, analytically; it doesn't go unnoticed. And 'critical' and 'analytical' are two adjectives you don't find most other social media platforms encouraging in their user populace, LMAO.

It helps to see the silver linings in these types of things. The frequency at which features are added, removed, altered, broken or bugged, speaks to the humanity of the site's coders and staff—and, more likely, the occasional complete incompetency of their higher-ups, but let's not get into that LOL. Aside from a few particularly awful or unintuitive elements, these uncertainties and imperfections tend to be enjoyable and even valuable, in my eyes. They're quirks, but not in the sense of a 'quirky' fast food brand with a 'silly social media guy'—who is, in reality, the result of highly calculated marketing efforts. What differentiates Tumblr in this case is that these imperfections aren't really artificial. They're simply being embraced. And that's… kinda nice?

In a site that serves to foster expression through the digital medium in so many different ways, there are bound to be certain boundaries broken, for better or worse. Think of all the strange, inexplicable glitches Tumblr has experienced through the years. The relative lack of limitations—on file size, on media type, on character counts—naturally leads to all sorts of strangeness. A few months ago I made a post that displays as an image when viewed on a blog page, thanks to some HTML style elements I was strangely able to include. I don't know why that's possible, but it is! Even excluding silly exploits like that, users are free to play around with comically long, obtrusive posts whenever they please. The fact that "Do you love the color of the sky" is a site-wide staple speaks volumes about the kind of platform Tumblr is.

You're allowed to reblog a post 100 times in a row, and that post can be an obnoxiously long sequence of the sky. Rather than fight against pitifully low character counts, you're free to type up sprawling, rambling blocks of text, and it's up to you whether or not that goes under a read more. Your images aren't cropped or downsized, or crammed into neat, tiny aspect ratios. In terms of a clean, intuitive user experience, this is... objectively awful. And that's what makes it great. You're allowed to be obtrusive. In the near infinite space allowed, you're free to exist in any format you see fit.

It's easy to be cynical about this stuff; trust me, I'm well aware that this sense of 'humanity' is propagated primarily to create a likeable brand identity, also in the interest of generating profit from its users—but come on, that's just kind of a given, and severs aren't free. I don't think it's bad to embrace the community formed as a result of this, and I'd argue that having an interest in the site surrounding the community you enjoy is just genuinely good. I still highly encourage everyone to learn how to make their own websites (due to the plentiful easy to use resources and platforms available), but I recognize that this isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. There are many benefits a large social media platform has over an independent website, and you'd be ignorant to ignore them. And when so many websites are being sanitized, sterilized, and swallowed whole by an all-consuming interest in profit alone, it's nice to see Tumblr try to cultivate chaos instead. Basically, it's a cool social media website with a cool community, relative to the other options out there. And that's pretty cool!

Anyway all of this is to say that I still think the new 30 image limit is awesome. SERIOUSLY WHAT OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITE WOULD LET YOU DO THAT

[bobcatmoran]

Les Misérables: The Not-Scanlation, 3.3.2

Previously on Les Mis Manga: Marius sees a pretty girl in the Luxembourg Gardens, and Courfeyrac, Prouvaire, and Grantaire try to give him romantic advice.

Coming up: Marius. What are you doing. Oh my god. Stop. Please.

I finally have a working scanner again, so forward motion on this can continue! Also, in the...er...two years? Holy crap, it's been two years. Anyway. In the two years since I last updated this, machine translation has moved forward in leaps and bounds, so I used Google Translate for this just to expedite the process since it's super great at Japanese-to-English.

As always, beneath the cut are scans, followed by the script in my best attempt at translating (I continue to not be a pro at this, and corrections are always, always welcome). Translations up through this point as well as of the entirety of the barricade, can be found at my [manga masterpost]. Overviews of all the chapters I haven’t translated yet can be found there, too, up until the very final chapter.

I highly recommend buying the actual manga from any of the links [here]. The art truly is more amazing in person, and by buying either the Japanese original or official French translation, you’ll be supporting the artists!

Going forward, these updates will be shorter, since Tumblr has instituted a 10-image limit per post, alas.

Preview has a girl looking at him, oh no, help him, please:

Wow, Google Translate is so good at this! I'm gonna keep using it!

(Not. April fool's! Though the translation of this chapter is 100% correct, that's no thanks to Google Translate and yes thanks to Takahiro Arai having a giant chunk of dialogue-less pages. You're gonna have to suffer through my semi-fluent, sometimes awkward translations, which are still probably better than any machine translation)

Next time on Les Mis manga: Marius' friends try to help him out again, and he has a fateful run-in on the streets.

[writtenbyancientghosts]

Tag 10 people you’d like to know better

Thank you for tagging me @danceintheskies !!! I don't have very many friends on Tumblr but I will tag the few I have :0

Relationship status: I am very single!!! I have been really happy lately with my friends though, so I'm having a good time hanging out there!

Favorite color: My favorite color is this garishly bright red! Honestly it kind of burns my eyes to look at for too long, but something about it makes me very happy! It tastes like a Shirley Temple and feels like flour-dusted dough. It's the most tangible color of them all to me.

Favorite food: It is mapo tofu hands down. I went vegan semi-recently, which has really limited my food options! But mapo tofu is perhaps the best food ever, and it still fits in my diet!! It's very spicy and filling and tastes so good with the rice... Before I went vegan, an everything bagel with butter and an egg that was runny in the middle was my favorite food ever though. I had it every morning for breakfast!

Song stuck in your head: Diamond City Lights by LazuLight...... Iluna just debuted so I am feeling very VTuber OTL

Last thing you googled: "bright red" for the image!! LOL. Before that, frantic google mapping for the worldle.

Time: It is 1:37 AM! I should. Go to bed soon. (Update. finishing this at 9:41 PM a week later.)

Dream trip: Oh literally so many places... I'd love to go somewhere where I can speak the local language, though! So maybe somewhere Spanish speaking (after some more practice), and hopefully in a few years a place that speaks Mandarin! I also think New Zealand and Norway are really pretty...

Last book you enjoyed reading: The most recent book I read that really smacked me over the head as a fantastic read was The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo!! I went in knowing nothing, and that was really really good for this book specifically. Would recommend.

Last book you hated reading: It's been a long time since I've read a book I've genuinely hated. Maybe in middle school, the Matched series? When I was a kid, bad books made me feel actually a little sick to read, and this was one of them. I was sad this happened because YA dystopian romances were my jam back then.

Bonus:

Favorite thing to cook/bake: UM. Banana bread. Always a winner. (Once again with the vegan thing, banana bread is pretty easy to make vegan and still good.)

Favorite craft to do in your spare time: Probably writing!! I've always loved writing, like my whole life, and I've been meaning to etch out more time for it in my daily schedule!

Most niche dislike: This specific feeling. When you've had a bad day and your shoulders are SO tense and you want to splay out on your floor and watch a loud Youtube video, and you finally get back to your shared living space and your roommate is asleep so you have to quietly walk back to your bed and just lie on it in the dark. Like, when you want to fall apart loudly but you have to be restrained even in your living space as to not wake up your roommate. THE WORST EVER!

Opinion on circus(es) now and in history: Fascinating question. I honestly like the vibes of an old circus in history. Modern circuses ... aren't real? I've never heard of one ever. Oh, cirque du soleil. Scary, would rather go to a theater.

Do you have a sense of direction and if not what is the worst way you ever got lost: (This one's longer because i DO have a story.) After I have taken a route a few times my sense of direction gets cemented pretty solidly. Before that it's between god and google maps. This being said, one time I was on a two hour drive to my friend's house. I was dressed as Lemon Meringue from Strawberry Shortcake for important reasons. My phone (my entire nav system, my car was made in 1997), was at five percent, and I was running on FUMES on a massive road with an unnecessary number of lanes. I could not find a gas station for the life of me. I pulled into a town, and then what I think was a prison. Some very nice people directed me to a gas station, and I immediately took the wrong turn and ended up on the huge road again. It was 85 degrees. I finally made it to a gas station but BARELY, and then sat in the back of a CVS for thirty minutes to charge my phone. That was pretty embarrassing. My friends made me share my location with them so they could save me if my phone and car simultaneously died.

@ladyrainmaster @mintyfishuu I'm holding a gun to your heads, politely.

[gigglinggoblin]

Image used with permission from hypnoskies. It’s part of a set of YCH hypno-themed templates they’re offering here —you should go commission them! Their work is gorgeous!

[pov: any, nsfw, 2nd person, hypnosis, pollen, drugging, pink mist, brainwashing, fantasy nonconsent (moderate), plant, sleepy, being made horny and dumb]

Oh, you’re wandering awfully far off the path, aren’t you?

Curiosity, you tell yourself, picking your way through the forest over mossy stone and blossoming briar. You’d never seen a plant like that before. The Evergreen Forest was a dangerous place, but surely just a few steps off the path—with no fey around, no one to take advantage—surely there was no harm in that.

Curiosity, you repeat to yourself, stumbling after the twisting vines, watching the berries gently pulse with that strange pink light.

You’re just... curious.

There’s no harm in wandering a little off the path, is there?

No, of course not. The lights glimmer and vibrate, dazzling your vision, keeping you walking forward, filling your head with a rosy sunset glow. No harm in wandering a little.

As you proceed deeper into the woods, vines trail under your chin, stroking your neck. Petting you. Encouraging you. The lights flash.

There’s no harm in it. You’re just taking a little stroll, you tell yourself, as the vines creep around your waist and seem to help... guide you along. That briefly concerns you, but then the berries flicker and flash, pretty pink lights right in your eyes, and you... you forget why.

The vines are just curious, after all. Just exploring your body. Touching you. Stroking you.

It feels kind of... nice, in fact.

The lights flash. Glimmer. Pulsate.

Feels nice, you think fuzzily, obediently letting the vines lift your arms so they can tug your shirt away from you. No harm in letting them wander. No harm when it feels so nice.

The vines lead you deeper into the darkness, but you aren’t worried. You follow after them with a happy glow swirling through your head as the vines snake around your neck and creep into your hair, pouring the pink pulsing lights right into your open mind.

It feels good to follow. Feels good to be led.

To be... lured.

You dimly realize you have a sleepy smile on your face. A dumb, happy, obedient smile.

But... why shouldn’t you? The lights pulse and shimmer around you. Of course you’re happy. You’re being good.

It feels good to be good.

No harm in letting your mind wander a little.

A slight moan slips from your lips as the vines start to caress lower. You almost pull away—but then pretty pink flowers drop down around you, and they’re puffing pretty pink mist all around your head.

And it smells so sweet. It feels so good.

Feels so good to be good.

As the vines slip beneath your trousers, your lips part, and you squirm, almost losing your footing. But luckily the vines are there to catch you. To keep you walking along obediently like a puppet on strings.

The loss of control... oh, gods, it feels wonderful.

You slip deeper into the happy molten haze as you breathe in more and more sweet pink pollen.

Your mind sinks deeper into the pretty pink mist as the lights pulse around you, drowning all thoughts in hot, heady obedience.

Your body sinks deeper and deeper into the vines’ power as the pleasure begins to trickle into your body, as their touches grow even more forward, even more daring.

What’s the harm, you wonder dreamily? What’s the harm in... in...

You whimper and whine and sink to your knees obediently as the flowers draw you deeper down. And when they bid you down further still, it feels like exquisite ecstasy to simply collapse as commanded.

It feels good to be good. It feels good to obey.

[Thanks for reading! There’s more after the break, but if you enjoyed this story and want to read more like it, there’s tons more content on my Patreon. For just a few dollars a month, you gain access to alternate Bad Ends, bonus stories, polls on future content, early updates, erotic text-based roleplay/D&D games, and much, much more! If you can afford to, consider pledging, so I can keep posting Tumblr fics like this one on the regular! Thank you! <3]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Evergreen Forest has a firm rule: There is one true path. Do not ever, under any circumstances, wander off of it. Fey are limited in their ability to harass or hypnotize those travelers who walk it in good faith, but they will be merciless if they encounter a pretty thing silly enough to leave its protection.

Mindless plants do not follow these same rules. And while plants might generally be essentially harmless, easy to escape or be rescued from in time, they can leave a traveler an impossibly tempting target for any pretty fey who should stumble upon the hapless prey~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You find yourself lying in a bed of pretty pink flowers. Dimly, it occurs to you that you should get up, but they keep puffing pollen over you, puffing until you are positively blanketed in sweet pink mist.

You gasp and moan, wriggling happily in their clutches even as the vines tighten their loving embrace. And with every second, you are more and more their pliant, adoring plaything.

With every breath, your mind melts into more of a gooey, lovey-dovey mess.

With every flutter of your eyelids, it gets a bit harder to keep your eyes open, a bit harder to tell the difference. Even with your eyes closed, those lights flicker and pulse, reminding you of how good it feels to be good.

All the thoughts in your mind are dissolving into puffs of pink fog now. You moan and drool, bucking in their clutches.

Their sweet, obedient toy.

Some part of you knows you really ought to get up. And yet you sink deeper and deeper, bucking and writhing as pleasure begins to pour into your mind, as thick and gooey and heavy as pink honey.

Yoiu know you should get up.

But, the vines remind you sweetly, pouring the intoxicating, addictive mist of pollen into your lungs...

... a cute, weak-willed toy like you really shouldn’t be wandering off.

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[criminalmindzjunkie]

The Reward of Suffering

next chapter

Summary: A retelling of the events of season 12 episode 13. 

Gif credit to the wonderful and talented @imagining-in-the-margins​

A/N: After several months of contemplation, I have finally decided to post part one of my first ever fic on Tumblr! This fic will follow the event of Spencer’s prison arc, so needless to say there will be SPOILERS. This first part is super long, but I felt that it needed to be in order to set up the plot. I hope you all enjoy reading! If you would like to be tagged on future updates, let me know!

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Fem! Reader

Warnings: no smut (yet), mentions of past frug use, cursing, typical CM case talk

Word count: 12.1k

           “Reid is in jail.”

           I felt the color immediately drain from my face and an intense feeling of dread began to wash through my body. I sat up in my chair, back ramrod straight. I briefly looked towards the faces of my teammates, Luke and JJ to my left and Penelope to my right. Their faces were all contorted, displaying varying degrees of shock and confusion. It was hard for any of us to process what we were hearing. The idea of Spencer Reid, the same Spencer who wore a mask to the office on Halloween and put on elaborate magic shows for everyone’s children, doing anything that would warrant being put behind bars was preposterous.

           Surely, this is all just a big misunderstanding.

           “Jail?” Penelope squeaked out. My eyes flitted to her, taking note of the way her eyebrows were drawn together in disbelief. She was thinking the same thing I’m sure we all were; that there was no way Spencer Reid had engaged in any illegal activity. Spencer was a well-educated, highly regarded FBI agent, for Christ sake. He knew the laws of the land better than any of us.

           “In Mexico.”

My attention focused solely on Emily. In the few weeks since I had come to know her, I had begun to look at her not only as a sort of fearless leader, but also as a kind of fiercely loyal friend that I was incredibly lucky to have. Emily somehow managed to find the perfect balance between being accommodating and stern. She was the kind of boss you could have a drink and cut up with after a long day, but she also carried herself in a way that demanded the utmost respect in the workplace. Emily Prentiss’s bravery was unmatched, and I admired her for that.

It shook me to my core when her eyes met mine and I saw the pure, unbridled fear in them. If Emily was scared, then this must be leagues worse than we could have ever imagined.

“What the hell is he doing down there?” JJ asked, crossing her arms and shuffling from one foot to the other.

“I don’t know. I didn’t talk to him. The call came in to Cruz from their lead investigator.”

Luke was the next to chime in. “What’s he being held for?”

“Drug possession,” Rossi said, before taking on, “with intent to distribute.”

For the second time that day, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Images of Spencer sitting across from me in a dimly lit coffee shop, tripping over his words as he confided in me, spilling his deepest and darkest secrets in a voice barely above a whisper. His voice had grown stronger as he neared the end of his story and he had dug deep in his satchel, producing a small golden coin. We both had tears in our eyes as we looked at the writing engraved into the coin; unity, service recovery. Spencer Reid was ten years sober, and the pride on his face was as clear as day.

There was no way he would throw all of that away.

“What type of drugs?”

“Cocaine and heroin,” Rossi said, his voice shaky.

Rossi and Spencer had always had a good relationship. Spencer had admired his work long before he met him, having read and reread every book he had ever published. It had delighted Spencer that he and Rossi had managed to develop rapport so quickly. Rossi was the only one talented enough at the game of chess to even think of giving Spencer a run for his money, though many of us had tried. In one of many hushed conversations shared on the jet, he had once told me that he had begun to think of Rossi as somewhat of a father figure; he didn’t quite fill the role in the same way Gideon had, but Spencer was thankful just the same. One look at Rossi’s troubled expression was enough to tell me that the feelings were definitely mutual.

“Oh my God. This can’t be happening.” JJ was positively crestfallen, clutching a hand against her own chest in an attempt to ground herself. Her other hand came up to her face as she absentmindedly pushed her hair away.

“We need Lewis and Walker here, ASAP,” Emily directed her order and Penelope, who was quick to comply.

Everyone sprang into action, but I found myself unable to move, weighed down by the deeply unsettling circumstance. It felt as if I was no longer in my own body, like I was watching everything unfold from an outsider’s perspective. Maybe I am, I thought. Maybe this is all just some horrible nightmare. Any second now, my alarm will go off and this will all be over.

I waited and waited for my alarm to sound, but that never happened. Instead, Emily crouched down in front of me, grasping my arm firmly in her right hand.

“I know how devastated you must be. Trust me, I do,” she sympathized, her deep brown eyes boring into my own. “But Reid’s going to need you now more than ever. You’re his best friend and you know him better than anyone. Did he ever mention to you that he was going to Mexico?”

I shook my head numbly, my motions feeling alien and stilted.

“Never. He told me the same thing he told you; that he was going to Houston for a few days to meet with his mother’s doctor,” I whispered. I feared that if I raised my voice any higher, tears would begin to fall. Maintaining my composure was becoming harder with every passing second, and I wasn’t exactly privy to breaking down in front of my boss. “I guess I don’t know him as well as I thought.”

Emily sighed, letting go of my arm before straightening up.

“Apparently, none of us did. But I know damn well that this has to be a mistake. We’ll get him out of this.”

           The apprehension in her voice told me that even she wasn’t sure we could pull this one off.

--

           “This has got to be Scratch,” Tara stated, her voice wafting through the speakers of Luke’s laptop. Emily, Rossi, Luke and I were currently in the jet, on our way to the jail where Spencer was being held. All of us were huddled close together around the computer, listening on with eager ears. “He was laying low, and now we know why.”

           “Crossing the border as a fugitive is a huge risk,” Luke pointed out.

           “The reward is even greater. He’s been punishing the team, and now his target is Reid.” Emily’s voice was full of frustration and contempt.

           “Peter Lewis dropped off the map after attacking Tara’s family,” Stephen chimed in. Not even his deep baritone voice could do anything to calm my frazzled nerves. “Maybe he’s been hiding in Mexico this whole time.”

           “We also have to consider that it isn’t related to him,” I murmured. Several pairs of eyes locked on me, shocked. I had been uncharacteristically quiet since this whole ordeal began, limiting my responses to one word replies and hums of acknowledgement. On a normal day, I’d be throwing in my two cents any time I saw fit. Today, I was struggling just to keep breathing.

           “Who else would it be?” Rossi asked.

           “Drug cartels. Could’ve threatened Reid and used him as a mule.” Saying his name was painful, because it reminded me that we weren’t just talking about a victim with whom we had no personal ties; we were talking about our colleague and beloved friend.

           “Agreed,” Rossi nodded. “This could simply be a case of bad luck. Reid was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

           “Spencer’s mom is okay.” JJ’s announcement was like music to my ears. I let out an audible sigh of relief. “The home nurse he hired said all is stable.”

           “How long did he tell the nurse he’d be gone?”

           “Three days.”

           “That sounds reasonable. After the Palm Springs case, Reid said he had to get back to Houston to talk to his mom’s doctor,” Emily interjected. I nodded along in agreement. He’d told me the same thing when I talked to him the night before last.

The fatigue in his voice had alerted me to the fact that things hadn’t been going so well with his mother. Her condition had been rapidly deteriorating in the recent months, prompting Spencer to make the tough decision to remove her from the assisted living facility she was at and into his own apartment. His main argument had been that no one could possibly take better care of his mother that him; that he was familiar with her condition and how best to respond when she had an episode. When I had asked him how he was handling it all, he was quick to reassure me that it was not anything he couldn’t handle.

Spencer’s loyalty ran deep; so deep that I knew he would do anything in his power to take care of Diana, but I’d never imagined that it would land him in fucking jail.

“Well, Houston is only a five-hour drive from the border,” Tara mused. “The question is, why did he go down there?”

“And why does he have narcotics?” Rossi was the first to speak on what was at the forefront of everyone’s mind.

“Yeah, exactly. He wouldn’t… He wouldn’t do that. Those drugs were planted on him,” Penelope insisted.

“Absolutely, but there’s something bigger in play. That’s why he crossed the border and kept it a secret. There’s something he didn’t want to share with any of you.”

I cringed at Stephen’s choice of wording. Spencer and I were as close as two people could be, and there was nothing I withheld from him. He knew everything about me, every dark and embarrassing thought that had ever crossed my mind; yet, he accepted me just the same. I had always assumed that it went both ways, that he was just as honest and forthcoming with me as I was with him. It hurt to know that there were things he kept from me, secrets that he felt he couldn’t trust me with.

But most of all, it absolutely gutted me to think that he was dealing with something so horrible that it landed him in jail, and he that he had to do it all alone.

“Okay, so what would make him risk everything?” Emily pondered aloud.

“His mom.” My answer was instantaneous.

A ping sounded from the other end of the video call, and we all leaning in, our interest piqued.

“Cruz just sent me the arresting report,” Penelope announced, clicking away at her computer before continuing. “It says here that Reid was involved in a high-speed chase.”

“What?” I choked out, my voice coming out several pitches higher than usual. “Spencer hardly ever drives.” I could feel my stomach begin to churn, bile threatening to force its way up my esophagus. This isn’t right, I wanted to scream. Our Spencer would never get himself involved in something that would put himself or others at risk.

“None of this sounds like him,” Penelope whispered, her thoughts mimicking my own. “It says he was wearing jeans and a baseball cap and that he was really confused. According to the arresting officer, he was really high on something.”

Unity, service, respect; ten years sober. All down the fucking drain.

I shot up from my seat, bolting down the walkway and into the bathroom. I immediately fell to my knees, barely managing to push my hair out of the way before retching into the toilet bowl. I continued like this for several minutes, only pausing momentarily when I felt large, soothing hands running up and down my back. Soft murmurings of reassurance alerted me to the fact that it was Luke who was sitting with me. I let out a strained ‘thank you’ before another wave of nausea hit me, rendering me speechless. Luke held my hair back, never once leaving my side.

When I had thrown up the entirety of my breakfast and all I could do was dry heave, I slumped back against the wall, relishing in how cool it felt against my flushed skin. A stretch of silence passed before he decided to break it.

“That was an extreme reaction,” Luke pointed out, still sitting in the floor with his legs crisscrossed. I noticed how closely he was watching me, his eyes focused on reading my expressions. He was profiling me, that much was obvious. It was an unspoken rule between us all that we would never profile one another, but any fight I had left in me had long since dissipated.

“He worked so hard to get clean, Luke. I wasn’t around when it happened, but he told me about it. He was so proud of himself,” I whispered. My throat was now raw and my voice came out more than a little bit hoarse.

Luke’s eyebrows came together, confusion clear on his face.

“Get clean? What are you talking about?”

I let out a shuddery breath. It felt wrong to divulge information on Spencer’s personal life; like I was betraying his trust. Given the circumstance, I supposed he wouldn’t mind, but it still felt treacherous and left a bad taste in my mouth. Sorry, Spence.

“Ten years ago, Reid was kidnapped by an unsub with DID. He kept him in a remote cabin for several days, alternating between beating him senseless and shooting him full of so much hydromorphone that he couldn’t remember his own name. At one point, he even,” I trailed off, hot tears spilling out of my eyes and running down my cheeks. Luke took my hand in his in an act of reassurance, his way of telling me not to rush. Luke hadn’t been with us for long, and our interactions thus far hadn’t gone much farther than conversations about work. Seeing the way he was offering himself up to me as a confidant and shoulder to cry on made me feel guilty for ever having written him off.

Thank God for Luke Alvez.

After a long pause, I managed to continue. “Spencer ended up having a seizure and he died for several minutes. The unsub’s more benevolent personality, Tobias, was able to resuscitate him. Eventually Spencer was able to take him down, but the trauma mixed with the exposure to such a highly addictive drug led to him developing a dependence on it.”

Luke swore and ran a hand through his hair.

“I never would’ve guessed it. The kid carries himself so well.”

A small, fond smile tugged at the corner of my lips.

“He’s amazing, really. He detoxed all by himself and started going to NA meetings. This past October marked ten years. We celebrated by going to one of those really fancy museums he likes and he insisted on taking the guided tour so that he could see how many errors the guide would make,” I let out a light laugh at the memory. “Every time they’d get something wrong, he’d lean down whisper the correct information so that only I could hear it. I don’t think I’d ever seen him that happy,” I reminisced, allowing myself to forget about the current situation for the tiniest of moments. I wondered if I’d ever get to experience a day like that with Spencer ever again.

“You two are close, I take it?”

I nodded. Luke had fit in with the group so seamlessly that I had forgotten that he had only been with us for a short time. He didn’t really know the dynamics of everything yet.

“He’s my best friend.”

Luke hummed, and I could feel his eyes looking at me inquisitively.

“And that boyfriend of yours, he doesn’t mind?” Okay, maybe Luke was a little bit more perceptive than he let on.

Gavin and I had begun dating at the end of my first year with the BAU. He and I had meet in the most cliché of ways; bumping into each other in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. Gavin was more than a little bit handsome, but what had reeled me in had been the way he taken one look at the box of cereal in my cart and immediately scrunched his nose up in disgust.

“Plain Cheerios? Are you some sort of masochist, or something?” he had asked, a playful lilt to his voice. Normally, if a strange man had approached me in public, I would’ve been quick to express my disinterest. If my job had taught me anything, it was that a woman being approached by a strange man was a recipe for trouble. But something about him seemed wholly unthreatening, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his forwardness, raising an eyebrow at him.

“As if your choice is any better. Lucky Charms? What are you, six?”

“Don’t even go there. Lucky Charms are magically delicious, thank you very much,” he sniffed, feigning superiority. “And if we’re touching on the subject of age, the only person I know that eats plain Cheerios is my eighty-six-year-old grandmother. You look a bit young to be worrying about heart health, and I refuse to believe that you actually enjoy the taste, so what gives?”

“First of all, I find it concerning that you are so familiar with cereal slogans,” I breezed, leaning against my shopping cart. “Second, I am curious; do you make it a habit to harass people about their cereal preferences?”

“Only if they’re cute.”

And that had been that. Several dates later he had asked me to be his girlfriend over a dinner he had attempted to make himself. I said yes and he kissed me, nearly knocking over his plate of burnt chicken parmesan in the process.

“We, uh, have an understanding. He knows that Spencer and I are just good friends.”

Gavin and I did have an understanding, but it wasn’t a very solid one. In fact, I was sure that he damn near despised Spencer’s very existence. He had done a good job at hiding it for a while, but after coming home one night from an impromptu movie night with Spencer, he had revealed to me that he had a jealous streak a mile long. I reassured him that there was absolutely nothing that he needed to worry about, but I could tell he didn’t believe a word of it. Gavin had out flat demanded that I cut all ties with Spencer, and I had laughed in his face.

“I’m not the kind of girl that likes to be told what to do. Either you learn to live with him being a part of my life, or you can find someone else to boss around, because I can tell you right now, that won’t fly with me.”

My threat had proven to be effective, and he had apologized, and that had been the end of that. He still wasn’t fond of the idea that Spencer and I were such close friends, but he hadn’t tried to proposition me with any more ridiculous ultimatums.

“That’s good to hear,” Luke hummed, squeezing my hand before rising to his feet. I could tell that he didn’t necessarily buy into what I was saying, but I was thankful that he didn’t press it any further. “What do you say we go back out there. We’ve got to be getting close by now.”

I nodded and he helped me to my feet. I bent down to the faucet, swishing some water in my mouth before spitting it out.

When Luke and I returned to our seats, I was immediately aware of the way Rossi and Emily were eyeing me; like I was a delicate thing that needed to be handled with kid gloves.

I absolutely hated it.

“Sorry about that. It won’t happen again,” I said, before turning my attention back to the video call and saying, “so, what did we miss?”

--

The police station was surprisingly small. The hallways were narrow and the light bulbs above me gave off an almost green tint, casting an eerie glow on the place. The sounds of disgruntled detainees calling out drifted through the hallways, sounding akin to the moaning of a ghost. My eyes darted around constantly as we walked, the uneasy feeling in my stomach growing with every step we took towards the heart of the precinct.

“Thank you for calling us.” Emily’s words were directed at the police officer, Chief Castenada, who was leading us down the hall. He was a short man with graying hair and a seemingly permanent frown etched into his face. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that he wasn’t happy that four federal agents were in his jail.

“A U.S. fed in our custody isn’t something we see every day,” the man said, his tone entirely unfriendly. I grimaced.

“Have you gotten any of his tox screen panels back yet?” I prodded, quickening the pace of my strides until I was walking alongside him. He looked down at me like I was a pesky gnat that he wanted to bat away.

“No.”

Color me unsurprised.

“You’ll need to expedite that. We have cause to believe that Doctor Reid was drugged.”

“He was definitely high and driving like a bat out of Hell. Not to mention he had $20,000 worth of heroin in his possession,” he sneered, ceasing to walk and staring down at me with distaste. “Both of which put my officers at risk. You’re in our jurisdiction. Don’t forget that. The rules are different here.”

I opened my mouth, ready to fire back with some smart-assery of my own, but a hand at my elbow stopped me. I turned and saw that it was Luke, who nodded his head to the left of us. I looked in the direction he was referring to, and I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

Just up ahead was a holding cell with several poorly constructed benches in the center of it. On the very first row of seats sat Spencer, who had seemingly retreated in to himself. He was hunched over, his arms wrapped pitifully around himself, much like you’d imagine a child might do to keep warm. Spencer’s clothes were tattered and dirty and a bandage adorned his right hand. His usually beautiful chestnut curls were flying around his head in a mess of tangles and dirt. Despite the fact that Spencer towered over most of us, I couldn’t help but notice how incredibly small he looked.

Even as awful as he looked in his current state, a direct contradiction of the way he usually presented himself, I’d never been happier to lay my eyes on someone in my life.

My feet carried me forward before my brain had time to catch up. I closed the distance between me and the cell, pausing and taking a good, long look at him before allowing myself to speak. He hadn’t noticed me standing there yet. His gaze was instead trained on something at the other end of the room, his eyes red rimmed and glassy and his face completely slack.

“Spence?” I called out, the nickname falling from my lips like a prayer. In a way I suppose it was; a prayer that he was alright, that the horrible things Penelope had told us about were nothing but a horrible lie. At first, I was worried that he hadn’t heard me or that he was too out of his mind to even register the sound of my voice. Just when I opened my mouth to speak again, he turned his head in way that I would have described as comically slow if the situation hadn’t been so serious. The spacey look in his eyes told me that my prayers wouldn’t be answered.

Spencer’s eyes locked with mine, but his face remained completely blank, devoid of all expression. I stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, until it hit me like a ton of bricks; he had no clue who I was.

I wanted to be mad. I wanted to scream at him, to ask him how could he forget me, of all people. My anger was irrational and unfair, but I couldn’t help it. While I understood that it was no fault of his own, that the drugs coursing through his veins were to blame, it didn’t make it hurt any less.

I swallowed down the emotions that threatened to spill out, pushing them down into the depths of my being. I couldn’t let my emotional attachment hinder my judgment. I needed to be as vigilant as ever, no, more vigilant. The fate of my favorite person in the whole world depended on it.

“It’s me, Y/N,” I explained, keeping my voice as steady as I could manage. “It’s good to see you, Spencer. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

He watched me for a moment before standing and making his way to where I was leaning against the bars.

“Y/N,” Spencer murmured when he reached me, as if testing my name out to see how it rolled off of his tongue. His stare was still vacant, but having him in front of me after worrying about his wellbeing for the last five hours was more than enough for now. I’d take him however I could have him. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, we came,” I murmured, my eyes raking over every inch of his body for any signs of distress. Other than the bandage on his hand, he seemed to be in one piece.

Rossi was quick to join me, coming to a stop at my left.

“We’re going to get you out of here, kid,” he reassured, his tone more serious than I’d ever heard it.

           “We need to work out some details with the locals, okay?” Emily said, waiting for a response but getting none.

           “Who was your contact down here?” Luke asked.

           Spencer was quicker to respond this time.

           “Rosa,” he mumbled as he grabbed his shirt sleeve and pulled it up. On his inner arm, the name Rosa Medina was written in what was undoubtably his own handwriting. Spencer was notorious around the office for having the worst handwriting. I like to blame it on the fact that he was a doctor, which always elicited a laugh from him. “I think she’s a doctor.”

           Luke pulled his phone out from his pocket, snapping a picture of the name.

           “Where did you meet her?”

           Spencer shook his head and a frown pulled down at the corner of his lips.

           “I… I don’t remember.”

           “If you saw her, would you remember her?”

           Spencer nodded in affirmation.

           “You’re missing time, aren’t you?” I asked, causing him to look at me once more. His brows furrowed together and he was nodding again, slightly surer of himself this time.

           “It’s peeking out. It’s coming in flashes.”

           “And you’ve been drugged?”

           I didn’t know it was possible for his face to fall any more, but the look of shame that manifested itself when he registered my words was absolutely heartbreaking.

           “Yeah, but I didn’t take it myself,” he insisted, a spark of life burning bright in the depths of his eyes. Somewhere in there, under the haze of narcotics, was the same Spencer that had fought tooth and nail for his sobriety all those years ago. My heart broke for him.

           “Of course, you didn’t, Spence. We know that,” I said, almost reaching out to touch him before thinking better of it. “We’re thinking it might be Scratch.”

           Just like before, when I had first spoken to him, absolutely no sign of recognition showed itself on his face.

           “Scratch,” he muttered detachedly, much the same as before.

           Luke’s phone rang then and he excused himself for a moment before stepping away. I looked to Rossi and Emily, who seemed to also be at a loss for words. The silence that filled the room was excruciating, and I once again started to feel like the walls were closing in on me. I wanted nothing more than to scream, to cry out in frustration. The whole situation was unfair in a way that I didn’t think was possible. I was a big believer in karma; put good in and get good out, or something like that. But now, standing outside of a holding cell that looked more like a dungeon than anything, I was ready to throw away that belief entirely.

Of all the people that I know, Spencer was the least deserving of something like this.

           Just when I began to consider ducking outside for a breath of fresh air, Luke returned.

           “Hey, the team sent this. Is this the doctor you met?” he asked, pointing to a picture of a woman he had pulled up on his phone. The woman was of Mexican descent, with short, choppy gray hair. She appeared to be middle aged, from what I could guess.

           Spencer stared at the picture before nodding.

           “Her alias is Rosa Medina and her real name is Nadi Ramos. Garcia tracked her to a motel just outside of town. Does that sound familiar?”

           Spencer’s brows furrowed and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

           “No.”

           “Okay, we’ll need to take Castenada and his officers with us,” Emily announced, before turning and heading towards the door.

           “Do you want company here?” Rossi asked.

           Spencer seemed to take a moment to process before answering with an almost imperceptible nod. He turned his head and focused his gaze on me.

           “Can… Can you stay?”

           Rossi turned to face me too, raising an eyebrow as if to say ‘are you okay with this?’ I gave him what I hoped was a convincing smile. Honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure that I could handle this; the this that I am referring to being a nearly catatonic Spencer Reid. I was used to the Spencer who regaled me with interesting tidbits of information whenever there was a lull in conversation. The Spencer that stood before me now was a shell of his former self, and that terrified me.

           “I’ll be fine here. Let me know if you guys find anything,” I told Rossi. He nodded once to me before enveloping me in a tight hug.

           “Resta forte mia piccolo colomba,” Rossi murmured in my ear. I hadn’t a clue what the phrase meant, but the words draped over me like a warm blanket. Suddenly the weight of the current situation didn’t seem so heavy, and I felt immensely thankful that a man like David Rossi was in my life.

           Rossi pressed his lips to the top of my head before releasing me. He gave one last, despairing look to Spencer before hurrying off after Luke and Emily. It could’ve been the light playing tricks on me, or maybe the exhaustion, but when Rossi turned away from us, I swear I saw tears welling in his eyes.

           And then there were two.

           I took glance at my watch for the first time all day, cringing when I saw the time to be 8:17PM. Quantico was an hour ahead, meaning Gavin was probably losing his shit wondering where I was. I sighed, fishing my phone out of my back pocket and turning it on.

           “Spence, I’m going to make a phone call really quick,” I murmured. He offered no reply, just as I had come to expect. He was watching me, standing stock still in the same place he had been the entire time. I moved to stand in the doorway, hopefully far enough away that he couldn’t hear me anymore.

           As soon as my phone booted up, a plethora of notifications came through. Seventeen missed calls and twenty-four unread text messages, to be exact. I decided to forgo reading the messages, instead pressing the return call button and tapping my foot anxiously against the floor. Gavin didn’t keep me waiting long, picking up on the very first ring.

           “About time you answer your goddamn phone,” he hissed out. “Do you know how worried I’ve been? I even called your office phone and no one would answer that, either. What the fuck is going on? Where are you?”

           “I’m… In Mexico.”

           A long pause followed and I held my breath, waiting for the onslaught to begin.

           “You left the country without even bothering to tell me?” Gavin asked, his voice raising in volume. I could picture him now; probably sitting on our sofa, fists balled together and jaw clenched. “Would you like to enlighten me as to why you’re in Mexico?”

           I closed my eyes, frustration bubbling deep inside me. Today was arguably the shittiest day of my entire life, and I certainly didn’t need Gavin harping on about how I hadn’t been in touch. Honestly, informing him of my whereabouts had been the furthest thing from my mind.

           “It’s Spencer,” I began, trying to think of the proper way to word it all. “He got into some… trouble. We think he’s being framed by Scratch.”

           “Isn’t that the guy that just went after Tara’s family?”

           “Yeah, it is. He’s been laying low for the past few months, and I guess he was just building up to all of this. It’s really bad, Gav,” I whispered the last bit, hoping that Spencer couldn’t hear me. If he did, he made no move that indicated it. “He’s high out of his mind and can’t remember anything.”

           “How long will you guys be there?” Gavin asked, completely ignoring the fact that I mentioned Spencer at all. I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from saying something I might regret. I understand that he doesn’t like the guy, but he could show some common decency and at least pretend.

           “I’m not entirely sure. Rossi, Emily, and Luke just headed out to go check on a lead. I don’t know how long that’ll take.”

           “Wait, so, where are you?”

           “I’m at the jail with Spencer, why?” I inquired, running my hand through my hair and absentmindedly combing out the knots that had formed. I was sure that I looked a right mess, but I couldn’t be too bothered to care.

           “Let me get this straight. They left you alone with a guy who is wasted on God knows what, not knowing how he’ll react to it?” A bitter laugh flowed through the phone speaker. “Sounds like you don’t exactly work with the smartest bunch. What if he tries to attack you or something?”

           I let his words hang in the air for a moment, unable to formulate a reply that wasn’t something like you’re being an absolute fucking dick bag right now. No, I was a grown woman and I was going to communicate like one, despite the fact that his ignorant reply was making me shake with rage.

           “The first thing I’m going to address is the fact that this is not some guy. We’re talking about my best friend and teammate, and his name is Spencer. Use it,” I said through gritted teeth. “The second thing is that he’s not some wild animal. He’s not going to try to come through the bars and pounce on me. What he’s going through right now is traumatic, and he doesn’t need to be left alone right now. Show some compassion.”

           “Yeah, okay, I’m sorry,” Gavin muttered. It was the most unapologetic apology I’d ever heard in my life, prompting me to roll my eyes. I don’t understand how I can love someone and want to throttle them simultaneously. “I’m just worried about you, is all. How are you holding up?”

           “I’m as good as can be expected,” I sighed, bringing my free hand up to rub at my eyes. “I’m just tired of watching this guy terrorize all of my friends. First, he takes Hotch from us, then he nearly kills Tara’s brother, and now this. I’m beginning to think we’ll never catch a break.”

           “I know you’re tired, baby. Just try to hang on a little bit longer. As much as I question some of their decisions, your team is good at what they do. You guys will catch him. I have faith in you.”

           There it is. That’s the Gavin that I fell in love with.

           “Thank you,” I murmured. “It’s been a long day and I needed to hear that.” I cast a glance back at Spencer, who was now staring down at his bandaged hand, an indiscernible expression on his face. He looked so lost, standing all alone in the grimy holding cell. The lights cast shadows on his face, making his already angular face look gaunt. The Spencer I knew was the human embodiment of light; filling up every room he was in with his delightfully idiosyncratic presence. The Spencer in the cell was so shrouded in darkness that the room seemed to be swallowing him whole, taking his brilliance and crushing it into smithereens.

“Gav, I think I need to get back in there.”

           “Yeah, alright. Just keep me in the loop this time, please. I don’t like not knowing where my girlfriend is.”

           “I’ll make sure to check in whenever I can,” I promised, before tacking on a, “love you.”

           “Love you, too.”

           I pocketed my phone with hands that shook, no longer from rage but from apprehension. I liked to think that I was good at my job. I had done well at the academy; not well enough to have graduated at the top of my class, but I did manage to be in the top ten. After lucking into the job of a lifetime, I had fully committed myself to learning to be the best profiler I could possibly be. Two years of piecing together the innerworkings of criminal minds had taught me more than I ever could have imagined about the human psyche. I had talked many a deranged psychopath down from the ledge, and I had saved more than a few lives along the way. Unfortunately, not all cases can end favorably. Those are the ones that taught me the most.

           For all that I learned, nothing could’ve prepared me to deal with the shell of a man that stood before me.

           I was standing in front of him now, fiddling nervously with my hands. When Spencer had originally told me about his battle with addiction, I had taken it upon myself to do some research of my own. I wanted to be able to identify the signs, God forbid he ever relapse. While conducting my research, I had read somewhere that the best way to support someone during a come down is by remaining positive and creating a calm, safe environment.

           I was currently the antithesis of calm, but for Spencer’s sake, I was going to do my best.

           I took a step forward and offered him a small smile.

           “I’ve never seen you in jeans and boots before,” I said. I was proud of myself when the words came out sounding relatively casual. “It’s a good look on you, but I have to admit I prefer the academic look. I suppose it’s the sapiosexual in me.”

           He gave no response, but the tinniest tug at the corner of his mouth told me that he found my comment amusing.

           I let my eyes drag over him again and I fixated on the bandage on his right hand, frowning.

           “Do you remember what happened to your hand?”

           Spencer raised his hand up, absentmindedly flipping it over and inspecting it.

           “I don’t know,” he murmured. Spencer’s usually high pitched voice came out gravely, no doubt a byproduct of dehydration related to the drugs. My eyes skimmed across the holding cell and I frowned when I saw no water fountain in sight.

           “M’ gonna go get you some water, okay?” I turned away and pivoted on my heel, taking one step before a hand wrapped around my upper arm. I spun around so fast I nearly caught whiplash.

           Spencer’s eyes were wide and full of panic, conveying more emotion than he’d had since we’d arrived. His eyebrows were drawn together as well, contorting his face into a pitiful expression.

           “Don’t go,” he rasped, his hand still firmly grasping my arm. “Please.”

           The hopelessness in his voice was like a dagger through my heart. I nodded fervently and placed my hand over his, prompting him to loosen his grip. He did, and I took his hand in both of mine. I rubbed my thumbs over his skin, haphazardly tracing patterns in an attempt to calm him.

           “Yeah, okay. I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” I soothed, bringing his hand up to my mouth and placing a chaste kiss to the skin. “I’ve got you, Spence. It’s all going to be okay.”

           The look of panic slowly washed away the longer we stood there. He held onto my hands like I was a lifeline, the only thing tethering him to the ground. While I longed for nothing more than to really embrace him, to pull all of him into my arms and hold on for dear life, the bars that separated us inhibited me from doing so. So instead I just relished in the feel of his hand intertwined with my own.

           It would have to be enough for now.

--

           Nadi Ramos was dead.

           I didn’t have to ask Emily to know that the situation had gone from bad to absolutely fucking terrible. We knew Scratch was a horrendous individual; that much had been proved by his preferred modus operandi. We also knew that he had become fixated on taking down each of us one by one. He’d tried twice with Hotch, even going as far as to target his son, resulting in the two of them joining WITSEC for their own safety. The next blow had come when he had set his sights on Tara, or, more specifically, her brother. We’d gotten lucky with that one, having located and freed her brother just in the nick of time. After the incident with Tara’s brother, we all expected the next attack to come in quick succession. When several months passed with no sign of Scratch, we all became terribly on edge. No one was saying it, but we all were waiting to see which one of us would be next, crossing our fingers and hoping it wouldn’t be us.

           I knew that none of us were exempt from Scratch’s wrath, but for some reason, I’d never imagined him targeting Spencer.

           And target him he fucking did.

           “We know you didn’t do this,” Emily spoke for the group, knowing good and well that we were all on the same page.

           “How did it happen?” Spencer’s back was to us. His shoulders were slumped and his face downturned.

           “She was stabbed multiple times. It looked personal,” Luke answered, his voice low and careful. It was obvious to us all that he was being extra careful with his wording, making sure to broach the subject carefully. We all knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Spencer was innocent; but that didn’t mean that Spencer did.

           Chief Castenada trudged into the holding cell, the portrait of all things cranky and unpleasant. His presence acted as a proverbial storm cloud on an already shitty day.

           “We got the results of your blood work. There’s cocaine and heroin in your system.”

           “What else?” Emily asked, causing Castenada to give her a confused look.

           “He was in possession of cocaine and heroin when he was arrested. I found what I needed.”

           I felt myself bristle and before I knew it, my mouth was open and I was spouting out pure venom.

           “Thanks so much for doing the bare minimum, but we’re going to need a full tox screen panel. We’re looking for scopolamine.”

           Emily’s eyes cut over to me and if I hadn’t been fighting on Spencer’s behalf, I would’ve withered under the weight of the shut the fuck up look she gave me. Instead, I continued on, silently praying I’d still have a job after today.

           “It’ll take longer, but we need it,” I explained in what I hoped was a slightly more accommodating tone. Castenada gave a curt nod in reply before exiting the room, grumbling something in Spanish that had Luke and Emily shooting daggers at his retreating figure.

           “Do I want to know?”

           Luke shook his head, shooting a small smile in my direction.

           “Let’s just say he’s not your biggest fan, and we’ll leave it at that,” he offered, before straightening out his expression and turning back to Spencer. “You were given a speed ball. The opiates block the dopamine in your brain. That’s why things go from clear to hazy. The combination of the drugs causes a dissociative state and explains the memory loss. Are you coming down now?”

           “I think so,” Spencer said. His cadence wasn’t as slow as it had been earlier, which was a relief.

           “Do you think you could do a cognitive interview?” Emily’s voice was hopeful, and if Spencer was one thing, it was a people pleaser. It was obvious that he was overwhelmed; I had taken note of the fact that he was displaying one of his nervous ticks. Spencer was touching the pad of his thumb on the tips of his other fingers in rapid succession. Despite his obvious discomfort, he nodded his head in agreeance.

           “I’ll try.”

           Rossi took the lull in conversation as an opportunity to hold up the plastic bag in his hand. I narrowed my eyes at it inquisitively. There were five vials of a murky, dark brown liquid in the bag.

           “There were five of these in your bag at the motel. Do you recognize them?”

           Spencer’s eyes zeroed in on the bag and its contents, his brows furrowing. It wasn’t long until a look of partial recognition flashed across his face. It was so faint that if he hadn’t been in a room of profilers, it would’ve gone unnoticed.

           “What is it?” I asked from my place at his side. He’d been somewhat clingy since the incident that had transpired while everyone was at the motel, gravitating towards me as soon as we all had been granted entrance to the holding cell. I knew that he needed familiarity right now; he was in a very vulnerable state and he needed something that made him feel safe and secure.

           Butterflies erupted in my stomach when I had realized what he was doing, that I was that thing that made him feel safe and secure.

Spencer opened his mouth once before closing it, as if trying to put his thoughts into words was difficult. He did this a few more times before settling on,

“Whatever’s in those vials, I was giving it to my mom,” he said, his eyes darting around the room as he spoke. “That’s the only thing I’m sure of.”

           “I’ll have them run it through the lab,” Rossi said, before leaving and heading towards the direction in which Castenada had retreated.

           Emily and Luke were quick to hop into a rushed conversation, leaving only Spencer and I still in the cell. I looked up at him, at the way his forehead creased as he bit his lip in quiet contemplation.

           “Are you sure you’re ready for a cognitive? I know the effects may be wearing off, but you’re gonna be cloudy for a while. If you don’t want to do it now, all you have to do is say the word,” I murmured, keeping my voice low so that only he could hear it. “I can tell that you’re a bit overwhelmed, and that’s okay.”

           Spencer’s response came in the form of a shrug of his shoulders.

           “I want to try, because I know it’s important. I just don’t know that it will be of much help,” he replied, casting his eyes down to me.

           “Yes, it is important, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’ll figure this out even if you can’t remember it all right now.”

           Spencer nodded once before running his tongue across his chapped bottom lip.

           “I don’t remember what happened, but I know I didn’t kill her,” he whispered, barely audible. Even though his words were quiet, I could hear the desperation in them; almost as if he was begging me to believe them, begging himself to believe them.

           I made the irrational decision then to throw professionalism aside and wrap both of my arms around his torso, my grip tight and assured. Spencer’s aversion to touch was common knowledge amongst us all, but for some reason that never seemed to apply to me, and I could see in his eyes that the way we were all treating him like he was fragile was wounding him more than he would ever admit. I hoped to remedy that with my embrace, and the speed in which he reciprocated was so fast that I was certain he was thankful. He wrapped his injured hand around my waist, the other finding purchase in my hair. I felt his chest move as he let out a shuddering breath.

           “I know you didn’t, Spence. Everyone on the team knows you didn’t,” I reassured him, my words muffled as my face was pressed against his chest. “And we’re not going to stop until everyone else knows it, too.”

           I was well aware that our embrace had garnered the attention of our teammates, but Spencer’s hold on me hadn’t faltered in the slightest, so I didn’t let mine either. Instead, I gripped the fabric of his flannel shirt tighter in my hands.

--

           When Emily exited the room in which they had conducted the cognitive interview, the look on her face was grim. I visibly cringed at the sight as I felt the sliver of hope that I had left die a miserable death.

           We are so beyond fucked.

           “How’s he doing?” Rossi asked, obviously taking note of the distress on Emily’s face.

           “He’s made some breakthroughs, but I’m not sure how helpful they’ll be,” she sighed, running a hand through her jet-black hair. When none of us spoke, Emily’s eyes flitted around, finally noticing that our expressions were a direct reflection of her own. “What is it?”

           “They just charged Reid with the murder of Nadi Ramos.”

           Hearing it said aloud wasn’t any easier the second time.

--

           While the rest of us had taken it upon ourselves to lean against the cement walls, Luke had begun pacing down the short hallway. After about ten minutes of unbearable silence, he decided he’d had enough.

           “We can’t get him out of here, can we?” he finally spoke, his voice a mix of anger and desperation.

           “I don’t know how.”

           “He didn’t kill her,” I reiterated, speaking more to myself than the three of them.

           “If all I had to go on was the evidence, I would swear he did,” Rossi sighed. I knew he was right; Spencer’s personal belongings were all over the hotel room, which was about as incriminating as you could get. “But knowing Reid, hearing the cognitive…”

           “Yes, he said there was another person in that motel room, but,” Emily pressed play on the audio recording, and her voice proceeded to flow through the speakers.

           “Who has the knife? Who is stabbing Rosa?”

           “I don’t know. It’s in my hand.”

           Emily pressed the power button and the screen went black.

           “Right now, this is just more evidence against him.”

           “So, what do we do now? Do we just sit and twiddle our thumbs until the consulate agrees to the extradition?” I asked. “There’s got to be more we can do. We can’t let them take him to jail, he won’t survive in there.”

           “I called in some help from IRT. Clara Seger and Matt Simmons will be arriving at any moment,” Emily said, checking her phone after hearing it ping. “In fact, that would be them. They’re here.”

           I breathed a sigh of relief as we all fell into step beside Emily. Having people from other areas of expertise that are willing to help is a good thing. Maybe they’ll be able to see something that we didn’t.

--

           “We come bearing good news,” I announced, leading the group as we all entered the holding cell. Spencer was quick to turn around and the corners of his lips pulled upwards as he set his sights on all of us. “Back up is here.”

           “Hey Spencer,” Matt greeted, offering up a small smile before crossing his arms across his chest.

           “Hey,” Spencer replied, moving to stand up from his spot on the bench. He was still a little wobbly on his feet, but he was doing much better than he was when we had arrived. “Thank you for coming.”

           “Yeah, of course. Jack and me are finishing up a case in Costa Rica, so we hopped on a commercial plane to get here,” Clara explained.

           “We’re trying to stop you transfer to El Diablo.”

           Spencer’s eyes darted over to me and he swallowed hard before speaking.

           “Do you think it’s possible?” Hearing the hope in his voice tugged at my heart strings. The way that he could manage to stay optimistic at time like this was a true testament to his character.

           “Yes,” Clara began. “Lab reports on the vials came back and some of what was in there hasn’t been approved by the FDA, but there aren’t any illegal substances.”

           “That’s great news,” I sighed, letting out the breath that I didn’t know I had been holding.

           “Is there anything else you remember about your time here?”

           “I remember what happened to the vials at home. My mom threw most of them out.”

           “So, that’s why you were here. To get more,” Clara said in an attempt to clarify.

           “It must be,” Spencer murmured, shuffling anxiously from one foot to the other.

           “Well, you’re off the hook for that. There’s no contraband involved,” Matt announced. Okay, this is good. One less thing to worry about.

           “Yeah, but we’re still looking at the planted drug and the murder charges, which could keep you here for a long time.”

           “Can we do anything to delay the transfer?” I wondered aloud. Clara took into account what I said and sighed, before turning towards Spencer once again.

           “You said that you met Nadi, who calls herself Rosa, in Houston. Why didn’t she just give you the vials in the U.S.?”

           “I don’t know,” Spencer said, running his uninjured hand through his hair. “I don’t know, but she helped us and I trusted her. I was right to. I still believe that.”

           “Well, she convinced you to cross the border multiple times. She had you risk your life,” Matt argued.

           “Because she must have something to lose, too,” I mumbled, eliciting a series of fervent nods from Clara. “Family, maybe?”

           “We need to know more about her,” Clara said.

           And then, something glorious happened. It was like a switch had flipped inside of Spencer’s head, and all of the sudden the lights were back on. I could tell that he had been struck with an idea, and it was a wonderous sight to behold.

           “What was in those vials?” Spencer asked, only solidifying my observation.

           Matt produced a paper with the lab results and began reading off the results.

           “There are so nootropic compounds like Ampalex, uh, but also some more natural stuff; coral calcium, jimson weed, coconut oil, a variety of vitamins. B12, D3-”

           “Where are we right now?” Spencer interjected.

           “Matamoros, Northern Mexico.”

           “Jimson weed, otherwise known as the Devil’s Snare, originated in Mexico but its natural growing region is further north or south of the border,” Spencer said, his words flowing out rapidly. I felt my heart soar and I didn’t even try to suppress the smile that fought its way to my face.

           “Boy Genius is back,” I announced, and for just a moment, the mood in the room lightened for the first time all day.

           “So, if it isn’t from here, then were did she get it?” Clara asked.

           “Let me get Garcia on,” Emily murmured, dialing the number and tapping her foot as it rang. On the third ring, Penelope’s bright and cheerful voice filled the room, a sunbeam shining through on a cloudy day.

           “Please tell me you’re calling to tell me some good news.”

           “Garcia, I have some questions for you.”

           “Hey, Penelope,” Matt greeted, earning a pleasantly surprised gasp from the woman on the other end.

           “Oh my God, it’s the dulcet tones of Matt Simmons,” Penelope gushed. “Are you there to save the day?”

           “I’m trying. Clara’s here, too.” A relieved sigh floated through the speakers.

           “Knowing we have you guys as backup is providing me some much-needed hope, and I work better this way.”

           “Hey, lady,” Clara greeted. “We’re trying to catch up on a few things. Where is Nadi Ramos from?” Before Clara even managed to finish her sentence, the sound of Garcia’s acrylic nails tapping away at her keyboard could be heard.

           “Mm she lives with her family just north of Matamoros.”

           “That must be where she got the jimson weed,” Emily pointed out.

           “What’s weird in she crosses the border, like, a lot.”

           “Why?”

           “Well, she works in Houston at that clinic, but she also helps at a low-income healthcare center. I can’t find a visa on her, which is double weird. And, in finishing the weird trifecta, there’s a social security number on her W2 form.”

           “Social security? She’s an American citizen?” I asked. Matt confirmed my suspicions with a nod of his head.

           “Yeah, she had dual citizenship. She was born in Houston, and her family had to move back to Mexico. She lives with them and she works in the U.S.”

           “This changes everything. We need to talk to the consulate,” Emily stated.

           Just as things were beginning to look up, Chief Castenada decided to grace us with his presence once more; and this time, he had an entourage.

           “It’s time for his transfer,” Castenada announced, looking pointedly in my direction.

           “We’ve had a break in the case,” Emily argued, shaking her head at him. “The victim was also American, and that calls for extradition.”

           Castenada merely shrugged before walking past us all.

           “I’ve got orders, sorry,” he muttered, making Gavin’s apology from earlier in the day sound heartfelt in comparison. Castenada wasted no time in beginning to place handcuffs on Spencer, locking them in place with a definitive click. Spencer and I shared a look of panic before both of us looked towards Emily in a silent plea.

           One of the men roughly grabbed Spencer by the arm and led him from the room. I watched in horror as they led him away, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest. I barely registered the fact that Emily was now on the phone. I just stood there, staring blankly at the entrance to the cell.

           “With the victim having dual citizenship, we now have concurrent jurisdiction. It was my understanding that the official order to extradite SSA Spencer Reid would be evaluated,” Emily damn near snarled into the phone. She paused for a moment, listening to the voice on the other line, before a look of relief washed over her face. “I understand, thank you.” She promptly hung up the phone before turning to face Luke. “They’re taking it to their brass. Go get him.”

           Luke took off in a rush, not needing to be told twice.

           I only wished I could be there to see the look on Castenada’s face.

--

           “We’re working on all channels here. Matt Cruz is on with the consulate right now. We could get an immediate extradition, but it’s just the beginning,” Emily explained, her voice stern.

           Spencer regarded her with a weary expression. The drug induced haze had finally lifted, leaving him painfully aware of how dire the situation was.

           “I really screwed up and I’m so sorry,” he choked out, resulting in a crack forming in Emily’s hard exterior. I couldn’t blame her; it wasn’t easy to stay mad at Spencer Reid. Spencer’s eyes were like kryptonite to most; big and brown and full of emotion. I’m sure if you searched ‘puppy dog eyes’ in the dictionary, a picture of Spencer Reid would be found in example.

           “It was for the right reason.”

           “I can’t remember what happened, but I know I didn’t kill anyone.” It was obvious in the way that he kept repeating the words that he was desperate for us to believe him. No amount of calm reassurance from us could quell the voice in his head that was surely telling him that we thought him guilty.

           “We do, too.”

           Clara was first to enter the cell, immediately followed by Matt.

           “Hey, they approved the extradition,” Clara announced, smiling brightly at the three of us.

           “Effective immediately,” Matt added on.

           We all exchanged relieved smiles before Matt and Clara led Spencer from the cell. Emily and I were quick to follow, right on Matt’s heels when we were stopped by Castenada.

           “I must point out that I feel like justice isn’t exactly being served with this move.”

           I pursed my lips together. In the short time we had been in Mexico, my feelings towards the man had grown from distaste to almost a full-blown hatred. That being said, I couldn’t help but understand where he was coming from. If Spencer hadn’t been a federal agent, he wouldn’t be granted the privilege of the extradition. Nor would he be allowed to fly home with us. I hated to admit it, but Castenada made a valid point.

           “I understand, but I can assure you that this has gone to the highest ranks and there will be a full investigation,” Emily reassured him.

           “Thank you for working with us,” I offered in an attempt to smooth over the rift I had created earlier. Now that my judgement wasn’t so clouded by my need to defend Spencer, I could see the error of my ways. I hadn’t been the most professional.

           Castenada nodded once in my direction before turning his attention back to Emily.

           “For our reports, I would like to have the recording of that cognitive interview.”

           I felt my blood run cold. That interview would just add to the list of things that could be used against Spencer in court. He had openly admitted to holding the murder weapon in his own hands, an admission that would surely earn him twenty to life.

           We cannot give him that recording.

           Emily seemed to be on the same page as I was.

           “I didn’t record it.”

           Castenada’s face contorted into an ugly frown.

           “But that was our agreement,” he squawked angrily.

           “I determined he was still under the influence. Anything he said wouldn’t have clarified matters.”

           Castenada’s gaze never faltered, eyeing Emily in an attempt to discern if she was giving him the run around. Luckily, Castenada was unable to find a hint of dishonesty on Emily’s face, and he nodded in resignation.

           Years of profiling will teach you how to control your micro expressions.

           “You’re committed agents. And I’ve worked with the IRT before. I trust you know what you’re doing.”

           “We do. I promise,” I stated, my voice giving off more confidence than I felt. Yes, I thought to myself, there’s no doubt that we’re good at what we do.

           But so is Scratch.

--

           All was quiet on the jet, the steady thrum of the engine being the only sound that could be heard. Rossi had been the only one able to fall asleep, something that I would be sure to tease him about later. Next to Rossi sat Emily, who had busied herself with flipping through Spencer’s arresting report. Clara and Matt sat across from them, engulfed in their own hushed conversation.

           Spencer had opted to sit on the couch, but he didn’t allow himself to sprawl out like he normally would have done. He was visibly exhausted, wiping at his eyes frequently in an attempt to keep the fatigue at bay. It was almost like he was punishing himself; like he didn’t feel he deserved the solace that sleep would bring.

           “You should go talk to him. See if you can’t get him to lay down,” Luke whispered encouragingly from his seat beside mine.

           “I have no idea what to say to him,” I confessed. I tore my gaze away from Spencer and turned my attention to Luke. “There’s nothing I can say that will make this any better.”

           “You’re not wrong about that, but maybe just letting him know you’re here for him will help. Just go and sit with him, I’m sure he could use a friend right now.”

           Luke was right. I let out a dramatic sigh before shooting Luke a pointed look.

           “Since when did you get so insightful?”

           A grin stretched its way across his face.

           “Always have been, sweetness. It’s part of my charm. I’m more than just a pretty face, you know.”

           “And on that note, I’ll be going,” I announced, standing up from my seat and walking the short distance to the couch. Luke’s chuckles sounded off behind me and I couldn’t help but smile; note to self, make more of an effort to get to know Luke Alvez.

I approached slowly, hoping not to startle him as he seemed to be lost in his own world. He didn’t notice me until I came to a stop in front of the couch. Spencer’s head shot up suddenly, the worry on his face melting away to form a small smile.

“Hi,” I greeted, returning his smile tenfold. “You looked like you could use some company. Do you mind if I sit?”

Spencer gave me a soft smile and scooted over, patting at the space next to him. I lowered myself onto the couch, angling my body so it was facing him.

“You’re tired,” I observed, leaning back into the soft cushions. Spencer shrugged in reply, opening his mouth to argue, only for a yawn to slip out. I let out a light laugh. “Don’t even try to argue. There’s no telling how long you’ve been up. Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”

Spencer’s eyes reluctantly met mine and I felt almost paralyzed when I saw the sheer vulnerability in them.

“Researchers from the University of Cardiff conducted a two-part study looking at whether people’s daily frustration or fulfilment of their psychological needs, such as feeling autonomous or competent, affects their dreams. The results from the first study showed that people who were frustrated with their daily situation tended to have recurring dreams in which they were falling, failing or being attacked,” he rasped out, his words jumbling together as they fell from his mouth in rapid succession. “The lead author on the study concluded that negative dream emotions may directly result from distressing dream events, and might represent the psyche’s attempt to process and make sense of particularly psychologically challenging waking experiences.”

“And you’re worried your dreams will reflect what happened today.”

Spencer bit the inside of his cheek before nodding in affirmation.

“I can’t promise you that you won’t dream about those things,” I began, my voice coming out soft. “But I can tell you that sleep deprivation can cause lots of very unfortunate symptoms like impaired memory, reduced physical strength, and inability to concentrate. Do you know how I know those things?”

A light flush dusted over the tops of his cheeks.

“Probably because I’ve made it a habit to bore you with my information dumps.”

I shook my head adamantly, reaching a hand up and ruffling up his hair. He batted my hand away, ducking his head to try and hide the smile tugging at his lips.

“Never a bore, Spence. But yes, I know those things because of you and that remarkable brain of yours. And we’re going to need that remarkable brain in tip top shape if we want to get you out of this mess, understood?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he relented.

I patted a hand on my lap, an invitation for him to use me as a pillow. He seemed hesitant, eyes flitting from my face before going back down to my lap.

“Don’t act shy around me, Pretty Boy. I know better than anyone that you’re a secret cuddle bug,” I teased, earning a snort from the man next to me.

“Am not,” he harrumphed, before deciding to take me up on my offer. He laid his head down on my lap before stretching his legs out across the expanse of the couch. My heart lurched pitifully when he nuzzled his head into my leg before letting out a loud sigh.

“Thank you,” Spencer whispered, voice thick with emotion. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, casting tiny shadows on his face. I smiled at the sight and began carding my hands through his hair.

“No need to thank me,” I murmured, raking my nails against his scalp and eliciting a pleased hum from him. “Don’t you worry about a thing, okay? We’re going to get you out of this. I know we will. And don’t worry about your mom, either; I’m going to check on your mom every day, I promise.”

Spencer’s breathing stuttered at the mention of Diana, and I worried I had crossed a line. He stayed silent for a moment, before moving his hand up and squeezing my knee.

“You’re entirely too good to me.”

“Yeah, well, you’d do the same for me. That’s what friends are for.”

No more words were exchanged, and within five minutes Spencer’s breathing evened out and he was asleep.

--

Several hours later, we were all filing out of the elevator and into the bullpen. I shivered slightly as the cool air hit my bare arms, but I tried not to show my discomfort. I’d shrugged off my sweater and offered it to Spencer the moment we stepped off the jet, draping it across his cuffed hands in an attempt to conceal them. Spencer had thanked me with a pitiful smile and I returned the sentiment, blinking several times to try and stifle the tears pooling in my eyes.

JJ was the first to greet him, with Stephen, Tara and Penelope following closely behind. I watched on for a moment before my attention was pulled elsewhere. Stephen’s phone had rung, prompting him to slip away from the group and retreat further down the hall. I furrowed my brow at this, taking advantage of my colleagues’ distraction as I wandered towards Stephen. I strained to hear his whispered words, but just as soon as I neared, he ended the call.

“What was that about?” I asked quietly. The look on his face told me that the news couldn’t be good, and I didn’t want to ruin the reunion going on just down the hall. They all deserved a few moments of relief.

Stephen let out a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair before speaking.

“I, uh, just got a call. Reid isn’t eligible for the bureau’s legal assistance.”

Stephen’s words sent a jolt of white-hot dread through me. “How is that even possible?”            “Spencer went without being briefed, and he wasn’t in Mexico on government business. They refuse to represent him.”

I let my wary eyes drift down the hall, towards the group of wonderful misfits that I had grown to think of as family;

Penelope, whose optimism never wavered, even in the face of the absolute worst that the world had to offer.

JJ, a devoted mother with a heart of gold and a fierceness that inspired me every single day.

Tara, one of the most intelligent and caring women I had ever had the privilege to know.

Rossi, a father figure to all with enough wisdom to create a legacy that would inspire generations of profilers to be.

Emily, a fearless leader whom I trusted with my life and would follow into battle without question.

Luke, a newcomer who took special care to comfort me when I was at my worst.

Spencer, a man too remarkable to even try to describe with words. A man that anyone of us would defend until our very last breath.

That undeniable truth gave birth to the tiny sliver of hope growing inside of me. Spencer Reid was innocent, and we are all hellbent on proving it.

I nodded once in affirmation, more to myself than to Stephen, before allowing myself to meet his gaze.

“We’re on our own.”

And if anyone could pull this off, it was this team. My team.

There is a point when facing the unknown stops being a longed-for adventure and becomes a terrifying reality.

           -Storm Constantine

[smitecreatorday]

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As you may or may not know, we do accept submissions! However, we would much rather reblog your work from your original source so that we can support you as much as possible! But if you would like to submit your work or for us to reblog it, it must adhere to our  guidelines listed here:  

Mild Gore is accepted, however extreme and excessive horror is not accepted. Please ask a Mod if you are unsure if this applies to your work.

No pedophilic content or associated content under any circumstances - this includes any content that is inappropriate stuff involving minors or Gods/Characters that may be perceived as children.

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We do accept NSFW but it must be tagged as #NSFWSmitecreatorday so that people may blacklist it if they do not wish to see this content. If it is not tagged it will not be posted or reblogged. NSFW content produced by minors will not be reblogged, you have to be 18+.

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Content submitted has to include some form of SMITE. We do accept Crossover art and God Concepts (not in text formats at this point in time)

You can submit a maximum of 5 posts per theme, they will all be posted and reblogged as long as they are tagged!

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We are aware that this is a community filled with many different people and that we continue to grow everyday! We encourage constructive criticism, but only if the Artist or Author welcomes it!  But of course there are some instances in which Bullying or Harassment may be concerned, so we’ve listed our policies on it here for anyone who may ever need to refer to this.

We unfortunately are not Tumblr Staff and we cannot take down a blog, or a post. If you feel targeted, harassed or bullied we absolutely 100% encourage you to block that person and report it to Tumblr. We are limited in what we can do but we will do everything in our power to help you, please speak to our Mods about your situation if you ever feel that you are in this circumstance. We are always ready to lend an ear and help you where we can.

Constructive Criticism is not a guise you can use to openly criticize a blog, person or their work. We are all entitled to our opinions of course, but if you are seen to be commenting on a piece of work submitted for SCD or posting about another blog/person/or that piece of work in a nasty or targeting manner (i.e. Vague Posting, Commenting, Hateful Asks) then you will be warned, if you continue to behave in this manner you will be blacklisted and no longer allowed to participate in this event and your work will no longer be featured here.  

We do not support bullying of ANY type,  if you are seen to be doing this to ANYONE participating in SCD, you will be immediately blacklisted.

We are not here to take sides or get involved with any drama, petty arguments or disagreements, these will not be classified as bullying or harassment.

We are not here to police the entire community, only what is associated with SCD so if someone is bullying/harassing you on Private Messages or Anons concerning your submission for SCD please block them and alert our Mods.

Harassment of any of our Mods is not accepted, if you send ANY form of harassing or abusive messages or asks to this blog or any of their personals or SMITE blogs you will be blacklisted, blocked and reported to Tumblr.

[seigyokus]

Producer Letter #14

Same old 80% translation, 20% paraphrase mix as usual. Hit the jump to read more!

To everyone supporting Idolish Seven,

This marks the first producer letter of 2018! We have just finished releasing Part 3 in the game, and episode 15 marks the end of our regular airing schedule for the TV anime. (TL Note: no fear, the anime's not over yet! more on this later)

The Idolish Seven Exhibit has been open for about half a year following our second anniversary, and the exhibit closed yesterday. We are very happy that we were able to tour various cities with everyone's help, and we thank everyone for your support!

There is currently an event going on at VR ZONE called "PRISM NIGHT", hi-resolution versions of our music* are available at SONY, and our idols will be acting as the advertising representatives for JR Tokai Tours's "OFF/Journey Campaign!" 

We are happy that our talents are getting so much work, and we truly feel as if we've taken a step towards the future we envision for our project.

PRISM NIGHT　 SONY Hi-res Audio  JR Tokai Tours　

*TL Note: not sure if this encompasses the entire i7 discography but a side note, "hi-res audio" refers to .flac files aka God Tier Lossless A+++ Sound Quality, whereas most tracks available for digital download are in mp3 or m4a format, which are great but not fully lossless! I actually can't watch the video rn because I'm a fool and forgot my earbuds but I believe that is what's going on!

Today, we'd like to talk about the following topics...

【The Project as a Whole】

◆ Part 3

Thank you for walking alongside our idols all the way from April 27th, 2017 through Chapter 20! 

We've received continuous support ever since we started releasing Part 3, and we are truly happy we were able to deliver all of Part 3 to everyone without fail.

Part 3 is a turning point within the work, as we've stated in previous producer letters, and the characters have undergone various changes as they confronted hardships and advanced forward within the story.

It took a long time to deliver all of Part 3, and we'd like to thank you for your patience from the bottom of our hearts. Although it took a long time, we've gleaned equal amounts of confidence and were able to present a lot of stories and carefully craft the songs as a result.

We hope to continue crafting this project with the utmost care, and we thank you for your continued support.

◆ The Anime

Looking back, we spent about a year working on the anime script with TROYCA. As for the anime series composition, the last episode of the anime’s regular broadcast aired yesterday with episode 15. 

The image of Director Bessho declaring, "Let's do a good job on episode 15*, and make episodes 16 and 17 one episode!" still firmly remains in my memory. While I cannot go into great detail as some of you may not have watched episode 15 yet, we firmly believe that viewers will be able to enjoy episodes 16+17 precisely because of everything that has happened thus far and because of everything that we have built up through episode 15.

We hope you keep watching until the end!

Episode 16・17 will be broadcast during the following dates and times (JST):

TOKYO MX　2018/5/19 Saturday, 19:30～ KBS Kyoto　2018/5/22 Tuesday, 23:00～ Sun TV　2018/5/22 Tuesday, late night 1:30～ TV Aichi　2018/5/20 Sunday, scheduled for late night broadcast TV Hokkaido　2018/5/19 Saturday, scheduled for late night broadcast TVQ Kyushu Broadcast　2018/5/20 Sunday, late night 3:35～ BS11　2018/5/24 Thursday, late night 1:30～

※ In the case that any changes are made to the broadcasting schedule, please check the TV anime's official site or the official Twitter for the anime.

Volumes 1 and 2 of the Blu-ray/DVD are currently on sale as well!

◆ 1st LIVE 『Road To Infinity」

We announced this concert back in January of this year, and holding this concert is one of our many dreams regarding this project.

It has been in planning for two years now, and it is thanks to the anime production committee that we are able to have our idols take such a grand stage. Not just that, we are truly overjoyed that we have the opportunity to have all three groups (IDOLiSH7, TRIGGER, Re:vale) perform live together.

We have one more important announcement to make regarding the concert!

People who have cleared a certain requiremnet in-game will be given the opportunity to enter the lottery for concert tickets. We will be revealing more details on this soon.

The campaign start time, requirements, and specific website for this campaign can be found via "In-game Announcements" and we plan on releasing this soon. Please remember to log into your game, and we hope you look forward to it!

◆ Fan Thanksgiiving Event* *TL Note: kanshasai for anyone used to the romaji form

We started holding these events back in 2017, and this time we'll be holding Volume 3 of "Kimi to Motto ×2 Ai wo Kataranai to!"

Additionally, we will be holding live viewing sessions for Vol. 3, and we hope to have tons of fans enjoying the event in real-time!

Live Viewing Ticket Reservation Time Period April 7th, Saturday, 12：00 (JST) - April 22nd, Sunday, 23：59 (JST)

More details can be found here at the official site!

◆ Music

How is everyone enjoying the songs from the anime?

We've included tons of surprises so all fans, both new and old, can enjoy the anime!

We would be delighted if people became more interested in the world of Idolish Seven because of the songs that adorn the franchise!

Additionally, the BGM for each scene from the TV anime will be included in the OST, "SOUND OF RAiNBOW" (on sale April 25th, 2018)!  

There are two comprehensive CDs filled with songs, so we hope you purchase it!

Furthermore, "Nanatsuiro REALiZE" by IDOLiSH7, the last unlockable song from Part 3 of the game story, will be on sale on June 20th, 2018.

We have also started on the "12 SONGS GIFT" series of birthday songs for each idol, and we thank everyone for the high praise it has received. 

We hope everyone continues to enjoy this series as we show more sides to each idol, and we will be doing our best to ensure this.

◆ Music Videos

The full version of the music video MAPPA produced for us has been released, and we hope everyone watches it!

Additionally, TRIGGER's newest music video, "DIAMOND FUSION," will also be released soon.

We hope to continue to create more videos for everyone's enjoyment, so please look forward to it.

"Nanatsuiro REALiZE" marks the 7th installment in the Idolish Seven Music Video Animation Project. We hope to deliver more to everyone and try a different format from YouTube, so we hope everyone looks forward to it!

◆ Comicalization & Novelization

We will soon be finishing up the comicalization of "Banri Ikkuu!" 

"Senko Fuma" and "Hyakusai Mukyuu" will also be released for a limited time only on Hakusensha Novels, and we also intend on comicalizing these parts as well.

We thank you for your continued support!

【About the Game】

We hope everyone is enjoying the game alongside the anime!

We have tons of new songs, events, and scouts prepared. The anime's finale will be airing soon, and we hope everyone will enjoy it!

【Future Game Adjustments & Additions】

◆ Events

As we mentioned in the previous Producer Letter, we are focusing up on making the game easier to understand. For example, clearing up which items are necessary for helping your idols grow and where to get them, what the requirements are for moving an idol to the Waiting Room, etc. 

As we approach the two and a half year mark, we hope to make game functions and each type of event easier to understand, and improve upon each.

With regards to this topic, we will be giving more details through each subsequent update, in-game announcements, and the official twitter rather than here in this letter.

◆ Questions, Comments, or Concerns about the Game In the case that you would like to express your opinion to the staff, please contact us through the official site.

Thank you for reading all the way through this letter! 

I'm sure some of you may be thinking, "You didn't answer my question!!" 

But in response to that, there's one thing we'd like to promise you: 

We guarantee that we will deliver only the best to you!

Last but not least, we would like to thank all of our hardworking staff, and we hope to continue working with everyone.

Let's all watch the anime! And let's all play Ainana!

TL Notes/comments:

I, too, would like to thank everyone for reading this far too! I am a day later than I would’ve liked for putting this out, so thank you for guys your patience.

As for other translation stuff, 9.5 will be posted later today and Chapter 10 is currently in the works! Now that Part 3 is over, I can finally catch up without fear of the next part dropping! Woohoo!!!!

As always, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, do not hesitate to drop me an ask! I don’t check tumblr chat messages as often, so if you’d like to bring something to my immediate attention, the best avenue to do that is via askbox!

Once more, thank you for reading!

[hirezajax-blog]

Can you walk us through the process of god design? From concept to release. (From tumblr)

I’m happy to answer this fun design question that can apply more generally to other games and genres. I’m definitely going to cut down on detail for this as it could be a VERY long response, but here are the primary steps. I’ll use Skadi as a constant example for each step.

1. Future Planning/Lore Research

The first step of designing a god is to identify them and schedule them. I'm listing these 2 concepts as one step because they often go hand in hand. Its pretty hard to schedule a god without learning about it first. We have a large doc filled with interesting gods and brief lore descriptions that we constantly update. We plan out many gods in advance to get a good rotation of pantheon, class, art style, gameplay style, and personality. Gods that make it on the schedule usually have 1 clear defining feature at this point. The defining feature can be either visual, gameplay or both. For example: Skadi was specifically added because we wanted to do a pet class.

2. Conducting brainstorming sessions

The next step is to get some rough ideas for how the god would act, look, or fight. We have sessions with lots of different SMITE employees where designers present some historical images and lore and we collect feedback about the god. Artists help us narrow down their important visual characteristics or personality, programmers, designers, and QA can help us narrow down gameplay mechanics. Skadi’s design allowed for many different ways to control a pet in SMITE, so we explored lots of these options at this point. This is also when the esports team helped us create the new type of CC used in her “permafrost” ability.

3. Giving feedback on art, theme, and tone

As soon as brainstorming begins the concept art team begins to design the character visually. We usually do many iterations of art work for one god that designers give constant feedback on. We advise them of the possible gameplay and what visuals would help tie into that. We describe the personality and themes and make sure the visuals reflect that. The concept art team is responsible for the details and unique choices that make our gods SMITE gods and not just lore copies. Designers just provide information to help guide them until we reach an iteration everyone agrees on. Here we solidified Skadi’s visuals that represent winter and hunting, and decided how Kaldr would look and why he existed. He is actually an ice elemental who takes the shape of a wolf in our lore! We also decided on her personality. Although she is technically a Jotun (ice giant) we wanted her to be more warm and caring. This fits with her animal caretaker style and her lore as a goddess that protects and guides you through winter.

4. Designing the ability kit

We have now wrapped up the brainstorming and have a nearly finalized visual concept of the god, so it's time to do some REAL gameplay design. Designers take all of the information and feedback from the previous phases and rough out a few kits (set of 3 abilities + 1 ultimate + 1 passive). Each god has about three complete kits proposed on average, each with completely different abilities. Sometimes 1 kit jumps right out at us, sometimes we mix and match our favorite abilities from each kit. The important thing is that we focus on the key visual and gameplay themes of the kit. All of Skadis kits involved icy abilities and ones that included Kaldr. We also determined early that her damage would be high because of Kaldr and thus mobility would need to be limited.

5. Assigning tasks to other departments

Before we get really started on producing the god, the designer will create and allocate the tasks to artists and programmers. This mostly includes the gameplay programming team and the FX art team. FX art handles all of our projectiles and particles. They are the most important art team in early prototyping. At the same time the Concept team will mark the god as complete and hand it off to modeling, then rigging, and then finally animation. Animation and Tech Art teams will provide us with temp models and animations until the final ones are completed. Skadi required an exceptional amount of code work to get Kaldr moving naturally and pathing around the map. There was also increased art costs because the design included 2 characters.  We used the Fenrir model to start on this early and paired it with Athena’s model to be the temp for Skadi.

6. Iterating with gameplay programmers to prototype and implement the kit

This is when the designer and programmer start working together daily to create the kit. We want to get early feedback on how viable the kit is so we test it as soon as we can with placeholder art. We borrow projectiles and FX from other gods and combine them to create entirely new gods. This involves designers spending a lot of time in our database as they set up all the abilities. We do a lot of manually entering numbers, checking boxes, and selecting in drop downs to get the god working. Designers also spend a lot of time here determining balance numbers. We do a lot of math, spreadsheets, and comparisons to other gods to estimate reasonable damage, scaling, mana costs, and cooldown numbers. We learn a lot about the kit before any at work is done. Re-doing art work is VERY difficult so we want the design to be solid before art gets too far in the process. Skadi’s first kit involved Kaldr having a unique function with every ability she used. This was extremely clunky and difficult to control, so he was changed to be controlled by a single ability with some limited interactions in others.

7. Polish and Balance

After we test the kit and make necessary changes and tweaks, we start to put all the pieces together. Designers serve as the midpoint between artists, programming, UI, and other teams. We make sure that all of the necessary parts and pieces of a god get into the game and work as intended. Designers write the voice packs, audition actors, and direct them in the voice sessions to make sure we fulfill our vision of the god’s personality. At this point the model and animations will start streaming in. Designers will review these and make sure they fit the goals of the god and clearly communicate what is going on in battle. The final visual FX for all of their abilities will be finalized and tested also for clarity and uniqueness. Designers will also be making balance level changes to the kit by tweaking numbers slightly to get the god feeling good. A lot of Kaldr’s damage and hit points rules were tweaked here.

8. Maintaining and update the god after launch

In a game like SMITE the launch is only the beginning. We take careful steps to monitor and adjust the gods performance over time to make sure the god finds a healthy balance state. Designers look at stats and community feedback and have lots of discussions with the balance team. We also take bug reports and follow up on those to make sure things are working as intended. Skadi launched with extremely strong stats, although the community took a long time before they agreed about how strong she was. Kaldr had some pathing bugs and was frustrating to fight against, so most of Skadi’s balance changes focused on reducing that frustration.

Thanks for reading! 

[jarienn972]

The Right Place - Chapter Five

Trying to get lots of updates in this week while things have slowed down with family life.  Chapter Six is actually already done as well and already up on both FF.net and AO3.  I’ll add it to Tumblr in the next few days.

Earlier chapters on Tumblr:  Prologue/Chap One  Chap Two  Chap Three  Chap Four

Tuesday afternoon, Portland Medical Center

At some point, Emma discovered that she'd dozed off, not entirely certain how she'd managed to relax enough to drift off to sleep. Awakened by the sound of a cough, she initially thought it came from Henry but a quick glance over toward the window revealed the teen still fully engaged with whatever was on the screen of his phone. She stretched, forcing herself out of her drowsy state as a second louder cough emanated from her left, followed by a wheezing gasp for air and a rustling of fabric.

"Killian?" she called out to him, spinning around just as he lurched forward with a coughing fit that had her nearly as frightened as his earlier panic with the breathing tube. His eyes were squeezed tightly closed as he fought against the spasms, trying to pull air into his lungs while clutching at his chest as the cough turned into dry heaves. Watching him struggling to breathe was agonizing and suddenly had her wondering why none of these contraptions he was connected to had alerted a nurse to his distress. Shouldn't someone be in here by now? She couldn't just sit here while her husband was suffering so she pressed the call button to the nurses' station, but there was no immediate response. Okay – why wasn't anyone responding? "Henry – I'm going to get help. Stay here with Killian…"

Henry nodded and sprang to his feet as his mother rushed out into the corridor in search of a nurse. He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do as he stood there at the bedside worried that his stepfather might tear open his stitches with the force of these spasms but as swiftly as the coughing fit had begun, it gradually subsided. Killian was left struggling to catch his breath – sucking in precious oxygen in rapid, shallow gulps. It was only when he saw the pirate's eyes opening that the boy dared move closer to the bed, allowing Killian to take in the unfamiliar surroundings until his gaze finally settled on his stepson's face – thankful for that one recognizable sight as he raised his hand slowly to lift the irritating plastic mask from his face.

"Henry…?" His voice was raspy, but audible; his question hesitant as though unsure if he'd even be able to speak. "Where the devil am I?"

"A hospital. In Portland," the teen replied.

"Hospital...?" Killian repeated, slowly beginning to make sense of his earlier sensory overload but so much was a confusing haze. "How did I get here? …Did Ursula…"

Ursula? Why was his stepfather asking about the Sea Witch, Henry wondered? Had everything that had happened to him over the past few days made him a little delusional? The question would have to wait for a while though as his mother came through the doorway followed by a taller woman with short raven hair cut in similar style to how his grandmother wore hers.

"Killian!" Emma exclaimed, elated to see her husband awake and at least partially alert, the coughing fit passed for now. She wanted to hug him fiercely, but that didn't seem to be a particularly good idea at the moment, so she settled for giving him a sweet little peck on his forehead as the nurse fussed about him, a somewhat stern scowl on the woman's face that had Emma concerned that something still wasn't right although she ignored that possibility for the present time. "You had me worried with all that coughing. Are you alright?" God, what a dumb question to ask, she thought after the words had crossed her lips.

"I believe so," he replied with a weak attempt at a grin, his hand and arm still pressed against his aching chest while the less than jovial nurse checked his vitals. He was exhausted despite having just awakened and really wanted the dark haired woman to complete whatever tasks she needed and leave them be.

"I'm going to page Dr. Wallace," the nurse stated as she made a couple of adjustments to one of the machines above his head. "She'll want to examine you now that you've regained consciousness, Mr. Jones." Killian groaned his displeasure at the thought of being poked and prodded by various medical instruments, hoping only that this doctor would have a better bedside manner than Whale. The woman then at last left the room in search of this Dr. Wallace, leaving her patient fully aware that another interruption was imminent when all he wanted to do was speak to his wife, certain she'd be able to help him sort out the jumbled disorder that filled his head.

"I'm so glad you're finally awake," Emma gushed after the nurse was out of earshot, her voice echoing with both relief and a hearty dose of uncertainty. "I've got so many questions to ask you, but they can wait until you're ready…"

"Ready?" He didn't quite understand why she would say that, certain that he'd been left with some sort of delirium from whatever events placed him here. "Swan…, I'm so confused…" His chest cavity felt as though it had been ripped open; his throat was as parched and scratchy as though he'd traversed a desert. What the hell had happened to him? "The last thing I remember was hearing the Sea Witch's voice… Was I drowning?"

"The Sea Witch...? Ursula?" Emma questioned aloud, fearful now that his injuries might have been more severe than believed. Had he suffered a head injury that hadn't been detected or been without oxygen too long or had he simply been hallucinating? "Killian – you did nearly drown. Two lobster fishermen found you on a beach, miles from the harbor area where you were last seen…"

"She took me there…?" he mumbled as his coherency began to fade. Emma was poised to ask him why he thought that but all discussion of the Sea Witch was rapidly tabled when Dr. Wallace, the woman in the white lab coat and floral dress who'd been present for his earlier incident strolled in carrying the silver clipboard that contained the collection of various staff notations to his medical files.

"Mr. Jones," she addressed her patient, drawing what was remaining of his fleeting attention. "My name is Dr. Wallace. I've been overseeing your treatment for the past few days…"

"Few days…?" an increasingly befuddled Killian managed to eke out. Every new bit of information was only making matters worse. "How long have I…?" He lacked the energy to finish the query but the doctor understood and finished his sentence.

"How long have you been here? This is your third day here in our facility. Until today, you've been unconscious so we were unable to fully address the severity of your injury. It seems that you're aware of your identity and recognize your family so that's a good sign. You may have limited memories of the trauma you suffered and that's normal."

"Three days…?" His mind was reeling now as he screwed his eyelids closed again, a replay of disjointed images and sounds playing across his subconscious. Had these things really occurred three days ago? There were so many brief flashes – a damaged sail torn lose by a heavy gust of wind, a conversation with an older, blonde woman, blood dripping from his hand and then the sound of the Sea Witch's laughter. He wanted more than anything to ask what all these images meant but when he opened his mouth all that came out were more frenzied convulsions leaving his lungs burning. In a swift motion, Dr. Wallace repositioned the plastic mask he'd removed earlier, holding it firmly in place to force him to breathe in the pure oxygen.

"Enough talking for now," the doctor stated as the coughing fit abated and she took her hand away from the mask. Reaching into the right pocket of her lab coat, she withdrew a pre-filled syringe, removed its cap and injected the contents into his IV. "This should help keep some of the coughing at bay so your body can get some rest. You need to keep this mask in place though. You need the oxygen and if necessary, I'll put the tube back in, but I'd prefer not to do that."

Killian nodded in understanding, exhaustion overwhelming him as he allowed himself to fade back into sleep, smiling at his wife despite her worried visage. His questions would wait for later.

"He wasn't making a lot of sense," Emma informed the doctor. "I mean, something just seemed off…"

"That's not uncommon," the doctor replied. "He's been through a great deal of trauma so it's not surprising that he's experiencing some confusion. He's been unconscious for the better part of three days so we have to give his brain some time to sort out the events. If he continues to have issues with coherency, we'll address it. I gave him some medication that should help relax his diaphragm and cut down on those spasms, but until his lungs are clear of all fluid, you can expect the coughing to continue but we'll have to keep monitoring him because I don't want to risk reopening any of the sutures – especially the ones that repaired the hole in his diaphragm. If you notice him having any difficulty breathing or if the cough becomes uncontrollable, please notify my staff immediately."

Now it was Emma's turn to nod, her earlier elation tempered by the reminder that he wasn't out of the woods yet but for the sake of her son standing behind her, she was going to remain cautiously optimistic.

Tuesday evening

It was close to dinner time when Killian woke again. His bleary eyes opened to the sight of clouds tinged pink and orange by the setting sun just beyond his room's window along with the shadowed form of his stepson becoming visible, dozing peacefully against the wall. He expected to see his wife by his side but despite hearing her voice nearby, she wasn't in his viewable vicinity until he redirected his gaze toward the entryway where she stood in conversation with an unidentified man. Emma was clearly comfortable with the stranger's presence but his attire didn't match that of the medical staff so she must be an acquaintance from somewhere else. He made an attempt to eavesdrop on their whispers but it was far too difficult over the constant hiss of oxygen flowing through the mask and the infuriating beeping of some device behind his head. He shifted his body slightly against the pillows – as much as he could manage without inflicting agony upon himself and it was that subtle movement which garnered his wife's attention.

"Hey," she spoke up loudly, interrupting her chat with the as-yet unidentified person while she returned to his bedside. "Good timing. Deputy McCallen just stopped by at the end of his shift to get an update, so if you're feeling up to it, maybe he can ask a few questions?" Killian started to raise his hand to remove the annoying mask from his face, but hesitated as the doctor's words from earlier came back. "It's okay," she stated as if she'd read his mind. "You can take it off for a few minutes at a time to talk." Sensing his reluctance, she leaned in and eased the mask over his chin and let it hang around his neck. "See – it's okay…," she assured him, her voice soft and gentle to his ear. "I'll bet you're thirsty…" He nodded in affirmation, his brain still foggy as he watched her lift a beige pitcher and pour a small amount of water into a paper cup. She brought it to his lips and held it steady while tipping it forward to offer small sips. His throat burned as he swallowed the first minute amount, but subsequent sips began to quench the fire – at least until the liquid reached his empty stomach and it responded with swells of nausea.

"Thank you," Killian responded when he finally summoned the strength to speak, gently pushing her arm away to let her know he'd had enough water. "I see I've bored the lad…," he grinned as he gestured toward Henry.

"It's been a long day," she said with a somewhat sarcastic smile. "Anyway, Killian, this is Deputy Aaron McCallen with the local Sheriff's department. He's the primary investigator trying to find out what happened to you - starting with who you actually were and how you ended up stabbed and near drowned on one of the islands off the coast. Do you think you'd be up to answering a few of his questions?"

"I'll try," Killian responded, honestly unsure of how much of the events he'd be able to recall, but he'd try his best to remember what he could.

"Mr. Jones, I'll appreciate any additional information you can provide at this point," the young deputy stated as he extended his hand in greeting. Killian returned the gesture and shook the hand of the young, maybe quarter-century old man to whom he'd simply been a nameless victim until hours ago.

"Can't promise it will be much, but as I stated, I will try to remember what I'm capable of," the pirate responded as Emma took a seat beside him, resting her hand atop his forearm in a gesture of support.

"Well, we've gotten a few bits and pieces of Sunday's events so we know that you were taken hostage after a robbery attempt at a convenience shop near the ferry terminal. We know you were there waiting for the ferry to take you back out to Peaks Island, but what we don't know is what happened after you left the store. There are nearly three hours unaccounted for between the robbery and when a couple of fishermen found you on that shore. Is there anything you can remember to help us fill in some of the missing timeline? Whatever you can provide will help us in trying to identify and locate those two men who were responsible…"

"Three," Killian interrupted, correcting the deputy. "There were three individuals involved…"

"Three?" Emma asked, slightly skeptical of his answer as Jean Scott had only recounted two perpetrators and McCallen hadn't mentioned more than two persons on the security video. "Are you sure?" Maybe he was suffering from hallucinations after all…

"Yes – I'm quite certain of it. The two would-be thieves and a third man who'd been hiding on the vessel they used to take us out to sea – some sort of powerful, motor-driven boat…" Emma noticed that her husband didn't describe it as a ship so he was clearly referring to a smaller watercraft.

"Like a speedboat?" McCallen wondered, "or more like a yacht?" Killian had seen enough of these modern types of sea faring vessels in Storybrooke's harbor to have an idea of the differences, but neither fit the description of the craft they'd used.

"No – not a speedboat," Killian replied. "It was larger, the size of a small sailboat but without sails and the hull was not as sleek or fancy as a yacht. I remember seeing fishing equipment, but it wasn't a trawler either. I'm not exactly certain what you would call that type of vessel…"

"Sounds like some sort of pleasure boat," McCallen speculated. "It's not quite that season yet, but I've seen a few of them out around the bay. Could you identify the type of boat if you saw it again?"

"Yes," the pirate assured him. He never forgot an enemy vessel.

"Good. I'll put together some photos of potential matches and contact the harbormaster and see what vessels matching your partial description might have been moored there that morning," McCallen said as he scribbled notes into his memo pad. "Now, back to those three men – did you see any of their faces?"

"Two of the three. I pulled the mask off of one of them and got a good look at him…" Killian paused for a moment to take a few breaths, already succumbing to exhaustion. "Can't quite say the same for the man who stabbed me because I was already fighting to remain conscious after he climbed out of the hold, but I know I would recognize him if I saw his face again."

"Do you think you got a decent enough look at him to describe him to a sketch artist if we sent one over?" Killian nodded an affirmative, his chest aching from exertion and his throat raw once again. "Great," McCallen sensed that he needed to wrap up the inquiry soon. "I'll contact the forensic artist we use and see if I can get her over here tomorrow to work up a sketch and get the image out to law enforcement as quickly as we can. We'll also continue to keep a deputy posted outside that door at all times…"

"You do know that isn't really necessary…," Emma countered, intending to remind him that she was a sheriff herself and was more than capable of dealing with anyone who'd attempt to come after her husband, but she stopped short of actually saying the words.

"My boss would have my head if I even thought about pulling the guard," the deputy stated, almost as if he'd read her thoughts. "Mr. Jones is the sole person able to identify his assailants and we intend to protect him until either those individuals are captured or until he's well enough to leave Portland – although we'd certainly prefer if you'd stay here until these men are brought to justice."

Almost in unison, Emma and Killian both shook their heads. This poor young deputy would likely have a heart attack if he knew who he was really working with. He was still young and idealistic, not yet possessing the jaded nature of experience. He had no idea that the man he was working so hard to protect was actually a fearsome pirate captain. He only believed that Killian had an admiration and affinity for classical pirates – not that he actually was one of them.

"Well, we appreciate the gesture," Emma replied graciously.

"I'm taking a shift myself this evening," McCallen advised them. "I'll be back here around 10PM. If you think of anything that might be helpful, please let me know, okay?"

"Of course," she smiled, answering the question for Killian as she knew his strength was fading rapidly. "Thank you for everything today, Deputy McCallen." McCallen returned the thanks as he said his farewell before leaving the room. Emma could hear part of a conversation out in the corridor as the deputy paused to speak with his colleague for a moment then departed to the elevator. The bits and pieces she heard were about their upcoming shift change and a reminder to check all identification badges.

"Seems like an earnest young fellow," Killian whispered as he noticed his stepson shift slightly in his sleep. He didn't want to wake the boy so he lowered his voice which proved to be more difficult than he'd expected. He wanted desperately to take a deep breath but he couldn't get his lungs to comply and before he could even contemplate raising the oxygen mask back over his nose and mouth, Emma had already anticipated the need and repositioned it for him.

"Breathe," she said it like an order, firmly, yet still lovingly. "You've been talking too much."

"But I like to talk," he mumbled in protest as she lowered the mask which only elicited a glare from her jade green eyes as she made sure the elastic strap was tightened to hold it in place.

"How about I do the talking for a bit? You can think of ways to reply without speaking, okay?" Too weary to argue, he responded with a sarcastic grin and a simple nod of his head. "Okay – the store owner, a Ms. Jean Scott, told us that you were waiting for the ferry back to Peaks Island. Is that where you left the Jolly Roger?" The slight dip of his chin confirmed her belief. "I'm guessing it's cloaked using Cora's old spell?" This time, he cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow as if in disbelief that she'd even ask that question. Of course she's cloaked, he wanted to say, but his body language seemed to make the statement clear. "Okay, okay…," she chuckle. "I figured you would. Just had to be sure." Then she changed the direction of her questions. "You said the third man was the one who stabbed you but you got the mask off of one of them?" He nodded yet again as she pointed to the still painfully swollen bruises around his right eye. "Does one of them have a matching black eye?" His laughter and proud grin were enough of an answer to that one so now she had to get serious again. "Earlier, when you first woke, you mentioned Ursula. You were just regaining consciousness so we were a little concerned that you might have been delusional or even experiencing hallucinations. Be honest with me – did you really think you saw Ursula?"

This time, he lifted the mask off his face to verbalize his response. "She rescued me," he stated flatly.

"Are you really sure? Killian, honestly, you were rescued by a couple of lobster fishermen who spotted you unconscious on a deserted beach…"

"How do you think I managed to get to that beach?" he persisted. "She pulled me out of the water and got me to the shore before I drowned. I know I wasn't hallucinating…" Getting frustrated that his wife wasn't believing his tale, he started to feel the coughing fit coming on before it hit, but there was no time to prevent it. His chest constricted making the simple task of just filling his lungs with air a difficult task and all Emma could do after replacing the oxygen was watch helplessly as he fought through the spasms until they passed leaving him gasping for air.

"That's enough for now," she insisted. "Do you want me to get the nurse?" He quickly shook his head as his body gradually relaxed and allowed him to shrink back against the mattress. "Okay then – just rest," she said as she slid closer to him on the narrow bed, pulling him closer to her until his head rested on her left shoulder, holding him tightly as his chest continued to heave. "I've got you…"

He allowed himself to collapse against her as he waited for his racing heart to slow and for the searing pain in his lungs to fade. He tried to sleep, but his brain wanted to try and replay that fateful afternoon. He remembered attempting to tread water for a while after he'd been thrown overboard, but too far from shore and defenseless against the bitterly cold water and lashing swells, he should have drowned. He was semi-conscious and rapidly succumbing to hypothermia so common sense would dictate that he truly should have drowned. How did he manage to get to that beach? Had his memory of Ursula aiding him been nothing but his imagination? A deluded vision dreamed up by his failing mind?

He had to get the memories to return – at least those from the moment that those two masked men shoved him onto the motor boat after he'd promised to take them to his ship using more doubloons as a lure. But what had happened next?

[deliciousmelodies-blog]

//SOLI DEO GLORIA

Hello there. I finally found a reason to update, to celebrate my Saviour and King Jesus once again on the world wide web. It’s been awhile, tumblr audience, but oh 2017 has been incredible. Back in my homeland of Melbourne, to this day I’ve learnt so much and am deeply humbled to fix my eyes and daily depend on the only constant and best person for me, the person of Jesus Christ, all glory to you my love!

GOSPEL WEEKEND 27-29th OCTOBER 2017.

27.10- Starting the weekend bright and early at the Melbourne Town Hall. So privilege to usher in Jesus, and those who are created in the Image of God (aka fellow human beings aka my neighbours) throughout the day with a stellar bunch of volunteers at The Justice Conference. Challenged by speakers such as Lisa Sharon Harper, who spoke of the injustices of her ancestors as African-Americans, and to see all of humanity bearing the image of God. As we are made in the image of God we are called to exercise dominion but we must wisely govern as to govern in a way that crushes or limits the capacity for any people group to exercise dominion on this land we are destroying the image of God in this world. Wow. Where have I exercised dominion unjustly? Elective #1 was a call to protect the poorest nations (our neighbours in this greatly interconnected world!) in our changing climate- reinforcing as privileged Australians, we have a mandate to rule in servant, sacrificial leadership and not violent domination. SELAH moment at St Paul’s Cathedral during the night with >100 COAH brothers and sisters from across Melbourne, Geelong, Brisbane, lifting up praises and worship in song to our good Father, and our #cityonahill #inourday celebrations have begun!

28.10- On Saturday more truths proclaimed at TJC. Re-analysing the Good Samaritan story through the justice lens, and not just the pious lens, got me thinking.  Luke 10:25-37. The Samaritan moved from theology of equal recognition to the politics of difference. The world doesn’t see how we read this story but how we respond to it. Our narrative is to serve our neighbours in the Kingdom of God. I was acutely aware of my petty thoughts during my service, oh Lord, may I never grow weary or complacent of doing the good works in which you have prepared in advance for me to do. May I continue to extend the hand of justice and mercy with a contrite heart to truly love my neighbour.

29.10- COAH’s 10th Year Anniversary Service at the Town Hall once again, oh, what a glorious day! Praise you Father for the multitudes of your sons and daughters coming together as the Bride of Christ pours out our praise and adoration for what You have done in this church, as we seek to Know Jesus and Make Him Known in this land. May you continue to reign in our day, in this world, and remember mercy in wrath God, even if the lost turns their backs on you! As you have taken the cup of suffering that we deserved dear Jesus, upon yourself and satisfied the Father’s wrath so that we may be reconciled to our Father as heirs and co-heirs with Christ! Thank you for your love, oh Lord. We pray revival in our day! Habakkuk 3:2. Filled with so much joy especially for my beautiful sister Sandy who got baptised (amongst 11 others!) :D And we got to rejoice later over lunch too! :) Such a beautiful, incredible, wonderful day, God, all Glory belongs to you alone! Then a break with some city friends before meeting up with my dear friend Shawny and his wife Rach (all the way from London!), cousin Jo and best friend Shaun haha it was such a fun dinner catching up on all the times… how we have struggled over the years but how we’ve come so far, so glad to spend some time getting to know Rach too- couldn’t be more happier for the two of them in their Christ-centred marriage! :)

SO THANKFUL, SO GRATEFUL for you Jesus. All of my praise for your GLORIOUS GRACE! <3

Peace.

[kelolon]

On “Agape”

(Or, The Closest I’ll Ever Get to Meta, Probably)

This is like some kind of weird, disjointed masterpost on why I love Agape. It’s not particularly deep or thought-provoking and it has a lot of bad words (sorry) - I’m not the best at this stuff. But it’s something I felt like writing about, so here we are. Enjoy! (Or don’t, see if I care.)

6/22/17: Updated with info from the guidebook!

So. Agape.

Where to even start? I love everything about Agape. The song, the choreography, the overall message - it’s far and away my favorite program. Please allow me to talk about it at unnecessary length.

Yuri: “Damn it. Who cares about agape?”

Me, that’s who.

The official stuff

The guidebook has this to say about Agape (this is a somewhat rough translation - feel free to correct!):

With unconditional love as its theme (in opposition to Eros) is the impressive "In Regards to Love ~Agape~", with its boy soprano overflowing with the feeling of translucence. When he was assigned the song by Victor, Yuri said "this innocent image makes me wanna barf," but during his mandatory trip to a waterfall, memories of his time with his grandfather surfaced, and he put those feelings into the program. He had realized that the feelings from when he was very young and he skated to see the joy on his grandfather's face were agape. From the choreography, it was said to be "made in the image of things like a white bird or something holy (Miyamoto)", so it feels light as a feather, and yet you can also feel the strength of the will of someone who has something to sacrifice.

There's beauty in the limit of what can only be done "now" with an androgynous appearance. It's an earnestly flexible and delicate program, but the jump composition includes two quads in the second half, putting it at a high level and prompting Yuuri to name him "a beautiful, ever-evolving monster." Although the triple axel is in the first half, you could say that the program composition is challenging for Yuri, who is still young and lacks stamina. Also, in the same way as Yuuri's "Eros", the filler between components is strong, making it a difficult program as well. With a firm foundation in ballet thrown in, movement is in the orthodox Russian skater way, and the costume can't be overlooked.

The concept

What is agape? baby don’t hurt me Okay no, this is serious shit. It’s one of at least four Greek words for love, two of which should be immediately recognizable to YOI fans (the other being eros, of course). The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy has a lot to say about love, including agape-flavored love:

Agape refers to the paternal love of God for man and of man for God but is extended to include a brotherly love for all humanity. [...] Agape arguably draws on elements from both eros and philia in that it seeks a perfect kind of love that is at once a fondness, a transcending of the particular, and a passion without the necessity of reciprocity.

Beautiful, right? Almost brings a tear to your eye. Or maybe that’s just me. Anyway, I feel like this sets the stage pretty well. Agape evokes certain themes: purity, selflessness, clarity, innocence. Not necessarily traits that embody Yuri as a character, but that’s what makes it interesting, isn’t it? (I’ll go into this more later.)

The song

Yuuri: “It’s very clear and innocent, like someone who doesn’t know what love is yet.”

Holy shit. I really, really love this song. I can listen to it over and over and have done so many times. It’s just gorgeous. I do enjoy Eros, too, but something about Agape just really resonates with me. I’m going to punctuate this liberally with lyrics (fun fact: music with lyrics wasn’t allowed in ISU competition until 2014), which I have taken from the YOI wikia in the case of the Latin-English translation. The Japanese-English ones were done by me.

Since my life is only temporary, it desires ardently the eternal love

The translation of this line from Japanese to English (rather than Latin to English) is somewhat different:

This life, driven by passion, is like the briefest flicker I pray for an eternal love

The addition of “driven by passion” is fitting (as opposed to the Latin’s use of “desires ardently”). It makes it seem a little more forthcoming, which is very appropriate for Yuri, who is very obviously driven by passion.

I will believe, I will give, I will wait, I will honor I will work, I will give thanks

Here, too, the Japanese-English translation differs slightly:

I believe, I sacrifice, I seek, I revere, I bear it and I give thanks

I feel like these lyrics in particular do speak to him at least a little. When you remove the religious connotations (whether or not he’s actually religious at all seems to be up for debate - personally, I take the giant, gaudy cross necklace he wears in WttM with an equally giant grain of salt), a lot of these words ring true. Sacrifice? Check. This kid provides for his family, who he rarely gets to see, and has little in the way of friends. Work? Double check. He’s been busting his ass almost his whole life. The waiting part is iffy, but I guess I have to give him credit for holding off on doing quads while still in the junior bracket, even if that was only to get Victor to choreograph his next program. It totally counts.

And at the end, opening doors hidden to us, solemn and famous, it will take care of us to us, solemn and famous, it will take care of us

And the Japanese version:

At last the hidden door is exposed God's great spirit appears, bringing with it pure healing

Clearly, the second is more explicit when it comes to the religious themes. I think in some ways the Japanese version kind of expands on the Latin version, which seems a little more vague.

One can certainly speculate that there are death themes at play in this song, with death presumably being the “hidden door.” The final two verses can be interpreted to be a reference to death as well (the Japanese version is not much different, so I’ll only share the Latin):

The grand, grand Mercy. Ah! I hear your voice My freedom is near! My life with love, the peace of benevolence That this is the eternal happiness, I pray.

The only real difference between the Latin and Japanese versions are that "Mercy" is replaced with "god's love" in Japanese. Whether this “eternal happiness” refers to something like the afterlife is probably subject to interpretation unless there’s some translated commentary floating around that I haven’t seen (which is certainly possible).

On the other hand, it could just be some kind of reference to opening your heart to God’s love or whatever. Who knows? Not me, clearly. 

Yuri: “Switch them! That piece isn’t me at all!” Victor: “You have to do the opposite of what people expect. How else will you surprise them?”

Yuri makes it no secret that he doesn't care for this song. He's Not Into It. When Victor plays it for him and Yuuri for the first time, he proclaims that "this innocence crap makes [him] want to barf." He wants Eros, but of course that's not how Victor assigns them and he winds up with Agape. This is the part where I admit I'm really glad, because Yuri is my favorite character and Agape is my favorite program. What can I say.

The choreography

How do you take a song (and concept) like Agape and a character like Yuri and make it actually work? The program itself, of course. Choreographed by Victor (as he originally promised), it does a fantastic job of turning an angry little hellspawn of a teen into the embodiment of the highest form of love.

(Please excuse my extremely fake photoset - tumblr will not let me do what I want. Thanks tumblr.)

The program begins with him facing the ground, and then reaching up towards the sky. Possibly to a higher power? As the program comes to an end, he’s got both arms extended upwards, hands clasped together as if in prayer. That makes it a little less ambiguous, especially considering the song closes with the words esse oro, or “I pray.” 

The program composition is as follows, according to the official guidebook:

Triple axel Flying sit spin Change-foot camel spin Quadruple salchow/triple toe loop Quadruple toe loop Step sequence Combination spin

It also notes that the planned components were not changed for the Grand Prix Final.

You can watch the choreography as performed by a real person on the second BD, and you can also watch Johnny Weir do part of it on Instagram!

The costume

Yuuko: "It's the see-through costume of legend from Victor's junior days! I never thought I'd see it in person! It's so beautiful..."

I don’t know what to say here. It’s pretty. Look at it. (It’s my phone case.) I do think it’s worth noting the vague cross shape over the chest and the fact that the shoulders look somewhat like angel wings, tying into the religious themes of the song.

The part where I ramble aimlessly

Yuuri: "Everyone's drawn into Yurio's agape performance. I can tell it's completely different from what I saw in practice. No one can look away from this beautiful, ever-evolving monster!"

I think the fact that Agape is at such odds with Yuri's personality has a lot to do with why I enjoy it so much. He's called "a beautiful monster," and aside from the implication that his off-ice persona is quite different from what he typically exhibits on the ice (with the obvious exception of Welcome to the Madness, which is basically him going “hahaha, fuck you” and finally doing what he wants - I highly recommend reading @ice-tiger-kitten​‘s fantastic WttM meta!), Agape (and Allegro, I guess) really embodies the “beautiful” part of that, whereas the monster comes out in WttM. Agape is very ethereal and angelic, playing into his “Fairy” nickname quite well. Which he undoubtedly hates, but hey. I happen to enjoy it. In the end, the “Punk” nickname comes out on top, anyway - WttM cemented that pretty solidly.

Yuri: “Agape... unconditional love. To me, that means grandpa.”

With that said, I don’t think Agape is that outlandish a choice for him. He did find his “agape” in his grandpa, after all. It takes him a little while to realize it - and even longer to really embrace it - but it’s a perfect example of unconditional love. It’s when he’s with his grandpa that we get to see what he’s like underneath all the prickly bullshit. He may not form relationships easily, but I think when he loves someone, he really loves someone. Maybe not unconditionally, but it’s obviously a mistake to think he doesn’t feel things besides anger and arrogance. Aside from the scenes where he’s with (or thinking about) his grandpa, he also shows this side of him when he goes out of his way to bring Yuuri pirozhki on his birthday and in his friendship with Otabek, who he actually roots for in spite of their inherent rivalry. Honestly, that’s a post of its own for another day, but I think it’s worth mentioning.

Yuri: “Sorry, grandpa. I'm too busy trying to skate the program to really think about agape at all!”

At Yuri’s first performance of Agape at Hasetsu, his performance is technically correct, but the “agape” feeling isn’t there, and he winds up losing to Yuuri. The next time we see it, at the Rostelecom Cup, he’s thrown off when he discovers his grandpa can’t stay to watch his performance and becomes angry, falling on a jump he hasn’t screwed up in a long time. In his inner monologue, he claims that he’s “not feeling agape at all.”

Despite the initial difficulty getting into it, though, Yuri nails Agape during the Final and manages to break Victor’s world record short program score. If he was simply going through the motions, stringing together jumps and spins, he would not have scored as highly as he did. This isn’t to say he doesn’t employ strategies to maximize his points (like backloading programs and doing Tano/Rippon jump variations, aka the thing where you raise one/both arms in the air), but there are elements of IJS scoring that focus on presentation - the program components score, which includes the following:

Performance/Execution: Performance is the involvement of the skater/couple/teams physically, emotionally and intellectually as they translate the intent of the music and choreography. Execution is the quality of movement and precision in delivery.

The performance aspect of this score includes “style and individuality/personality.” In addition, choreography is scored based on things like “purpose (idea, concept, vision)” and interpretation is based on the following:

Effortless movement in time to the music

Expression of the music's style, character, rhythm

Use of finesse to reflect the nuances of the music

Needless to say, if Yuri wasn’t able to pull off the concept of Agape, his scores would have suffered. It can certainly be argued that it’s just the performer in him that gets the job done, but I think the fact that he becomes able to infuse his own feelings into the program is what closes the gap.

Lilia: "His short program will have 'agape' as its theme. I believe he's found an entrance to 'love' through his many encounters with others. People shine brightest when they seek to understand what kind of love sustains them."

He may not like it - indeed, when left to his own devices, he does things like WttM, which could not be more different from Agape - but it works. They both do, somehow. He really does make Agape his own, and it’s completely believable.

...Well. Mostly.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

15 podcasts guaranteed to tell you a fantastic story

What's the magic ingredient of a really great podcast, the thing that makes people tune in time after time? It's simple in theory: Have a really good story. But how? 

There are all sorts of ways. Take Serial, the investigative journalism podcast that launched with the true story of the unsolved murder of high school senior Hae Min Lee. It's been downloaded more than 350 million times as of 2018. Come September 20, it will debut its third season. Or, consider This American Life, where producers have been sharing good stories since 1995. 

SEE ALSO: This is the most important thing you need to start your own podcast

However they do it, one thing is for sure: You won't want to stop listening. These 15 podcasts deliver on story-telling like no others. 

1. Serial

Image: Serial/facebook

Serial's first season earned its popularity with its strategically timed narrative, quality production, and a dogged attempt to get as close as possible to the 15-year-old murder of Hae Min Lee, for which her ex-boyfriend was convicted — don't worry, this isn't a spoiler: It's merely where the story begins before delving deeper into the case.  

In Serial's second season, the podcast focuses on the true story of U.S. soldier Bowe Bergdah, who returns home from Afghanistan in 2014 after being held prisoner by the Taliban for five years. Bergdah's celebratory homecoming is cut short when the public suddenly denounces his hero status, calling him a deserter and traitor. Bergdah shares the events that lead up to the public's general disapproval of his actions in Afghanistan.

What makes Serial so captivating, whatever the season, is host Sarah Koenig's dedication to uncovering the truth behind each story, and delivering key findings, research, and conversations with the people involved. 

2. Longform

The Longform podcast is made alongside Longform.org, which curates some of the best longform journalism, like Atlas Obscura's overview of Britain's secret nuclear bunkers and the New Yorker's speculation of whether or not Facebook has had a direct impact on democracy. 

Each episode features an interview with journalists about their most hard-hitting stories, their methods, and their connection to their subjects. Well-known interviewees have included Gay Talese, Malcolm Gladwell, and Michael Lewis. Learning what happens in the making of a story gives listeners a better understanding and appreciation of journalism as a whole.

3. The Moth

The Moth has been around for about as long as This American Life, though not necessarily in audio form. The New York City-based nonprofit started with live storytelling events and contests (StorySLAMs with themes like "Saved," "Scars" and "Gratitude"), and now has a podcast featuring these short stories. 

What makes the podcast so great is its simple format: people sharing their stories. The tales are heartfelt, humorous, original, and sincere, and they're  told by everyone, from comedians to professional storytellers, like Hari Kondabolu and Elna Baker. You'll hear of exotic dancing, heartbreaking high school rejections, and experiences with Australian wild life that will make you laugh, cry, and everything between.

4. Strangers

Strangers comes from Peabody award-winner Lea Thau, former director of The Moth. The podcast's ethos is the notion that you can create a connection to someone despite their being a complete stranger just by hearing their story. 

Thau explores heartbreak, the connections we make, and what happens when you realize you're not the person you thought you were. You'll hear about a person whose parents control their dating profile, what happened when a Somali refugee family moved to Vermont, and learn of the enduring career of a bank robber. 

But what really makes this a great storytelling podcast is when Thau shares her own stories. In the three-part episode "Love Hurts," she delves into the difficulty she faces dating. Her vulnerability and openness is emblematic of the series' ability to evoke your deepest emotions. 

5. Uncivil

Image: uncivil/gimlet

History buffs keen to learn more about the Civil War should listen to Uncivil. The 2017 Peabody Award-winning podcast delves deep into lesser-known Civil War history. You'll hear stories about everything from political uprisings to corruption scandals, and wonder why, or how, these stories were left out of the textbooks. 

The podcast connects abolitionists' stories to the world we live in today, making the past thrilling, and revelatory, for today's listeners.

6. Snap Judgment

Snap Judgment, like The Moth, is based off a live storytelling show. The difference is that Snap Judgment, which is produced by NPR and hosted by Glynn Washington, adds musical accompaniment to stories, usually making for an experience more along the lines of slam poetry. Public listening risks public tears, thanks to Snap Judgement's moving and affecting stories.

7. Backstory

The aim of Backstory is to take the headlines of history, both banal and historic, and make them into stories. It's hosted by three American history scholars, so you'll get both accuracy and fun — thanks to the hosts' undeniable chemistry and interactions.

Sure, you could just read a history book or google events you're yearning to learn more about, but then you'd miss out on all the links being made to current events, not to mention the hosts' witticisms. Learn about the history of college sports, utopia, and extinction in America, among many other things.

8. Radiolab from WNYC

Radiolab makes human interest stories out of science and philosophy's most difficult questions, interweaving these mysteries with music. Popular recommendations include "Falling," "Numbers" and "Limits" — episodes exemplary of Radiolab's ability to tackle big themes.

9. The Truth

Image: the truth/facebook

The Truth offers short stories — frightening, funny and heartwarming — woven through with audio elements, like narration and sound effects, to make them come alive. Subjects include everything from co-ops to mall Santas. Then there's the episode "Brain Chemistry," in which a cryogenically frozen man returns to life and finds it is not what he expected. 

10. Welcome to Night Vale

If you like your stories creepy and soothing at the same time, you'll love Welcome to Night Vale. This podcast blew up with the help of a Tumblr fan base, and has been spinning tales of the weirdest supernatural fictional desert town in America ever since. 

The podcast is formatted as if it were a traditional local radio news program, giving its community updates on things like mysterious hooded figures, a sentient glowing cloud, and an old women who lives just outside of town with a bunch of angels. 

Watch out for now-renowned one-liners like, "Weird at last, weird at last! God almighty, weird at last!"

11. The Thrilling Adventure Hour

The Thrilling Adventure Hour is based on a live production staged in Los Angeles, and it has the nostalgic charm of old radio. Each episode features three unique stories, along with fictional sponsored ads and songs, lending the show an eclectic and whimsical vibe. 

With a collection of well-known guest stars and an expanding universe of story arcs, you might want to start at the beginning — and listen to them all.

12. We're Alive

While many of these podcasts are trying to keep the radio form alive, We're Alive has been focusing on keeping it undead. It's a serial podcast that tells the story of one group of people surviving the zombie apocalypse in Los Angeles. 

Tune in for vivid and dark descriptions of the apocalyptic landscape, the creatures that inhabit it, and the close bonds formed among the main characters. The characters reveal their hardships, fears, and hopes for survival in this emotional drama.

13. The Leviathan Chronicles

Leviathan is a science-fiction audio drama with high quality audio effects and an original soundtrack. The premise might seem too stuffed — a secret race of immortals in a city called Leviathan underneath the Pacific Ocean in the midst of war —but it gets a human face with Macallan Orsel, a genetic scientist in New York, who becomes embroiled in a war when she finds out she's descended from the people of Leviathan.

14. The Habitat

Image: The Habitat/gimlet

Ever wonder what it would be like to live on Mars? Well, so did the six people who signed up to reside in a concealed, imitation Mars habitat in Hawaii for a year. This podcast documents the true story of what occurred during this NASA-organized project.

The goal of the project was to help NASA gauge what they could expect upon visiting Mars, and the results of the project are fascinating. The Habitat recounts the experiences of the volunteers, and what life is like on Mars, well, fake Mars, anyway. You'll learn everything about the mission, from the freeze-dried food ingested to the meticulously monitored and curated "Mars" landscape.

15. Dirty John

Dirt John tells the true story of interior designer Debra Newell, who meets and becomes entangled with John Meehan, a handsome doctor who seems to fulfill all of Newell's needs. But something's not quite right with Meehan. Eventually, he's revealed to be a con-artist, and he becomes the menacing center of the story — terrifying not only Newell, but also the people who surround her. L.A. Times' Christopher Goffard, who reported the story, also hosts the podcast.

WATCH: In honor of 'Solo' hitting theaters, we talked about what makes Star Wars so magical

The story was originally published in 2014 and updated in 2018.

[legendaryearner]

My take on the questions: Why Affiliate Marketing? What is Affiliate Marketing?

- Daniel Burns

The reason for choosing affiliate marketing is simple...but first let me ask you a question...How much money do you want to make?

(above image is my earnings.) 

Because I made that amount in a short amount of time with some training and using the training as it was meant to be used and in the process, I began to see results that was pleasantly surprising and rewarding for me.

But I’ll get back to that .

Affiliate Marketing enables financial freedom in a nutshell. How often do we wake up when we don’t want to, to go to a job we don’t want to (unless you love your job), spend gas we don’t want to that we aren’t getting reimbursed for, to go to a place to do tiring annoying tasks to get paid, just so we can do it over again over every 2 weeks and thank god (or your faith) for the weekends (unless you work them too)...it sucks, and guess what, the majority of you make enough just to get by, buying things you know you probably shouldn’t to feel better about your current situation and lifestyle. For some of you, you make be content for a time each time...and for the others your sick and tired of it. The daily grind can take its toll on even some of the most accomplished individuals.

Having a degree doesn’t always mean that a job is guaranteed or secured. Maybe if your a military veteran with hardcore skills, experience and training in your previously enlisted there could be security in that knowledge if implemented correctly via the best networks and channels available to you. But again the guarantee is limited in reality because if its cheaper to not have you even if your over qualified and a perfect candidate for their company then guess what...your search continues...and trust me there's a lot of skilled military vets on the unemployment line every year...thanks uncle sam.

For single parents that have more than two mouths to feed its especially hard because the funds from any job is split up, bills are increased, and food is consumed twice as fast costing some of you more money in the long run because the older our children get the more they need and want and as parents we want to give our children what they need and want in an effort to provide the best for them.

Hey, I get it...

Affiliate Marketing enables everyday people like you and me to make a lot of money online. Working from home or where ever we can get an internet connection via wifi or mobile device. A Mobile Lifestyle is the most versatile, freedom to travel and not be locked down to one location if your single, or if your married or in a relationship with a family the freedom to spend more time at home enjoying quality time with your family instead of wasting time with a tiring 9-5 or a night shift job in place that has you reevaluating life.

Perfect Indicators that you need something better:

Ever had a full night of rested sleep...but your still mentally drain as soon as you get to work?

Does your workload constantly disappoint you? i.e more work less pay, more time same pay, stagnant position, raises close to nonexistent?

Do you go to work being around people you can’t stand but have to (especially your boss?) p.s look your boss knows he or she is hated lol you can’t hide that but he or she probably revels in that knowledge because guess what? they’re your boss at the end of the day they pay you for your services, labor expertise or whatever you want to call it at the end of the day so why should they care? I won’t say that all of them are like that because that's not the case all the time but to find that is rare in most cases.

Now,  If you’ve answered yes to those questions then you need a career and lifestyle change. Because people are enjoying life the way a lot of us dream about...after a hard days work. Affiliate marketing awards that option but it depends what affiliate option you work with that pays the most amount of money.

But what is Affiliate Marketing?

Affiliate Marketing is the process of selling a product for someone else and getting a share of the profit as a commission, simple right? the idea its easier said than done and a lot of it is hard to figure out for a great deal of people but once sorted the income potential is limitless.

Now i'm an affiliate marketer and I love it and here's why...

I earned this commission within a program I use called Legendary Marketer. It was simple enough using the training the program provides from David Sharpe the CEO of the company himself along with other successful entrepreneurs, and that's the true value of the program. Now they payout every 2 weeks from the commission made that goes into a ewallet account from there you have other options of payment i.e mailed check, cash card that commissions get loaded, direct deposit or wire transfer.

(above is a payout from Legendary sent to my ewallet which I had sent to me as a check)

Now bare in mind that there are other programs out there that offer training that you can use to promote their products and I’ll cover that in another post, but the point here is that you have options if your considering affiliate marketing as a career move.

Hopefully this answers your questions of why affiliate marketing and what affiliate marketing is 👊👌 the question is what are you going to do now? and what program are you going to go with when there’s so many out there?

Follow my tumblr to stay updated on the next post!

If your interested in Legendary Marketer as your starting point into Affiliate Marketing then click this link 👉 Get Started Here

For More Details visit my website 👉 LegendaryEarner.com

Daniel Burns

Proud Legendary Marketer Member

[pierresonalthoughts]

im feeling like talking about myself to The Void™

so heres a whole ask prompt that im just gonna answer without nobody really asking for it or reading it, actually

ice cream asks

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

when i was 16, bc my best friend had kissed my our two best friends in a party, drunk off champagne, and she surprise gave me a kiss like a week later to keep it even. I answered saying ‘hey, i guess its a nice time to tell u that im gay?’. we laughed, got real awkward and never talked about that again

but if its the actual kiss that i did wanna have + w a boy, it was when i was 17, one week before the college exam for the one im currently in. bc it is technically the most difficult college exam of the country, or at least the one with biggest competition, i was so fckn nervous that i went on a tinder date with some boy who ended up being such a bad kisser, such a bad conversation and an acquaintance to like half my closest friends.

french vanilla: how old are you?

18, but nearly 19

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

germany, japan and england. i used to want to go to USA but with the whole current shituation? nope

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

im trying to learn french, german and japanese so theres those

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

no cosmetics, we die like goblins

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

depends on the mood. i love walking through the outdoors but i literally spent 70% of this semester in my bed, so thats both a reason to favor both options

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

nope, used to want to play guitar but rn ill just sing badly under my breath

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

i have a little playlist of songs that im listening ad nauseum at all times, but rn its either Praying, the whole Melodrama album or the whole Red Velvet new album

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

between two lungs, the only exception, sakura-colored time capsule

cheesecake: what's your zodiac sign?

libra sun, virgo rising and idk my moon or the rest rly

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

pool is p much bootleg beach but i love both. but the whole beach is so good? walking by the shore, the activeness of the water, beach food, the sound of waves, just all in all 10/10

chocolate chip: what's your most popular post?

absolutely this 270k post

bubblegum: books or movies?

with the books i can just savor the story for way more time so books? and i can do it like at random times and places so thats right within my aesthetic whipping out a book at random moments.

but i both wish i had time to read in my shit rushed life and i definitely need more money to spend on actual books. so i end up watchin more movies since i can just watch it at 3am and with some easy pirating

pistachio: manga or anime?

same feelings about books vs movies

salted caramel: favorite movies?

i dont even know really

birthday cake: favorite books?

probably the hitchhiker series, but i love me some classical lit like jane austen and machado de assis

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

i love kuragehime with my life, mob psycho with my soul and jojo (parts 4,6,7) with my full love for extraness

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

oh man, im going for the ones that made the most impressions on me, like ouran, madoka, bokurano, katanagari, nichijou and psycho pass

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

like all? i shit you not that i liked all my subjects in high school and now in engineering college, i loved algorithms and data structures

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

nope but i rly want a cat

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

a friend of mine convinced me to read homestuck right after cascade, and when i read it i started following the updates here. so, since october/2011? the truly darkest times of this site. i remember seeing a full episode of doctor who in a 200 gifs gifset when photosets had no image limitation

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

i wanna say cloudy weather but that just makes me depressed. but i love when its raining enough to streets go empty but not enough to it being fully inconvenient when you have an umbrella, bc it makes for the most aesthetic strolls under a nice umbrella, with only my thoughts and music, and protected from the elements

black cherry: four words that describe you?

gay nerd depressed and supportive, i guess

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

my life, all the things i need to do and the possibility of stopping being good at the only things im good at

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

i really cant find a pattern on my music taste so idk

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

i absolutely sold my soul to Fini, not even a question

toffee: a card game that you're good at?

ill kick anyones ass in Uno and ill kick my own ass in solitaire

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

yes im one of the few people i know that eats the breakfast from my college cafeteria, but thats mostly bc breakfast food is a loophole in my hundreds of picky eating no-nos

dark chocolate: turn ons?

any boy with piercings gets instant +3 on my 1-10 scale and im a sucker for perfume

fudge: turn offs?

general shitty personality, smoking and i guess i still have some fatphobia to deconstruct too

peach: how do you relax?

haha i dont. but i guess watching anime, scrolling through this hellsite, listening to some tunes, walking around aimlessly and making a cocoon out of myself in my bed count

praline: a popular book you haven't read yet?

im so out of touch with the current trends that i cant even say what i havent read

superman: do you like sweaters?

im living in hoodies for the last month or so but the general weather here is not exactly sweater weather and my hometown only goes from 25-31 celsius everyday of the year

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

i hate tea and most of my liquid intake is in coffee with milk

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

the piano i guess

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

ofc, either with videos in the interwebs and with my friends

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

a more efficient use of internet data when in mobile, bc good god im losing my life waiting for things to load

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

i love every webcomic that i follow

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“too gay to function” is absolutely an accurate definition of me tbh

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

no color and 6/10 were bit off

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

indirectly by a girl friend i had in my school, and by my bestfriend’s brother this may

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

hahahaha im pretty sure i had at least four painfully hopeless and debilitating crushes on straight boys ever since 2013

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

my sleeping schedule is so fucked up that i just pass out in the middle of the morning, afternoon or night, so thats both naps and my actual hours of sleep

mint: the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

hahaha nope, not unearthing any memories, nope, thank you

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

no

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

i wanna be home, in fortaleza

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

yea, ever since i was 5 and i cant see shit without them

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

neapolitan, cream and theres an ice cream shop in my hometown that has a lemon pie flavor that actually sent my soul to heaven