#(Vida is not the one shipped with Death here)

[blackdragon-selfships]

Life and Death, heavy question here, what does it mean to be alive?

You’re asking the wrong being, niño/niña.

Simple. You are moving, thinking, and breathing as you should be after I lit your candle. Therefore you are alive.

[dinsdjrn]

the devils we keep | j. miller x f!reader

summary: After a messy end to things, you feel the only option left is to leave Jackson. For good. [wc: 1.6k]

a/n: this is part one of a series of standalones; they all follow Joel x same f!reader but at totally different points in their relationship.. they don't have to be read together or in any order.

content warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, ANGST with a side of ANGST, no use of y/n, established (and end of relationship), break up, post-outbreak!Joel, afab!reader, talks about loss and death, lack of communication, morning sex (blink and you'll miss it), graphic depictions of darkness, poorly edited, lmk if I missed anything <3

previous part | next part | masterlist

They always used to say that if you loved something, set it free, if it loved you back, it will return. Sometimes when you set someone free, they’ll still love you, and they’ll run as far away as they can.

The night offers some release, the darkness that surrounds you also understands you. It wraps its arms around you in a cold and unforgiving embrace, numbing your heart and soul. Momentarily releasing you from the ache that sits in where your chest meets your stomach. You thought that a “sinking heart” was just an expression, you have quickly learned, it’s a symptom.

You were not ignorant to heartbreak and pain, but previously it had come in exchange of survival. You didn’t have time to feel your heartbreak in the moment, you needed to keep moving and survive. The pain had always come later and your desire to survive always took president. So the dull ache in your chest was just a part of your daily routine.

“Movimiento es vida” your best friends voice rang in your head, movement is life. So you moved on from your grief, and moved forward to survive.

So you’ll take this pain, and you’ll push on, find somewhere new and start over.

Jackson had become so comfortable this past year you resided there. In all truthfulness, Joel had become so comfortable and he made it easy to forget a world beyond Jackson. He was someone you connected with so easily; he understood your best parts and forgave your worst.

You weren’t someone who was very good at connecting with others. Ever since you had lost your brother and best friend, you had become closed off. Maria, one of your only friends here, would describe you as a wallflower.

“Stoic and unreadable,” she would joke.

You would always roll your eyes at her. Jackson was safe but for the first few weeks you weren't convinced it was where you wanted to call home.

That was until you met Joel. He was arguably more closed off than you, but his scars matched yours. It was almost ironic how your pain matched his. You connected over the foals at the stables. Well, you and Ellie had connected over Shimmer. Joel came as a part of a package deal.

You had taught her all you could remember about horses and the equine world before the outbreak. It was what began to thaw your frozen heart; teaching Ellie how to ride, tack and untack, groom and even the different feeding protocols for the different horses. She wanted it all, and for the first time in so long you cared to share.

Your connection brought you closer to Joel, and proximity was all you needed to know that your heart matched his perfectly. You had originally planned on being two ships that had passed in the night, but life had other plans. Life with a little help from Tommy and Ellie.

None of that mattered anymore, the fondness that once sat in the memory of Joel had been buried beneath a field of darkness. Your whole life you could never seemed to pick up on when you had overstayed your welcome. Joel made it very clear that you had.

It can as a shock and surprise as you had always found yourselves talking about the future you had together. As you reflected, it was you who always brought up the future, he merely nodded along with you. Recently he had been more distant and cold, but in the moment this was a blind side.

“I think it’s time we both move on,” Joel said but wouldn’t look you in the eyes.

“What?” you whispered.

“We had a good thing goin’, something comfortable…” he paused, “But we want… no, we need, different things.”

His gaze was on the ground.

“If you’re going sit here and tell me you need a change. And that change is to let go of me… then I want you to look me in the eye as you break what you promised to keep safe,” you seethed.

His gaze met yours, his eyes were cold as the day you had met. Secrets, pain, and distance that you couldn’t tap into were all that you were left with.

He bore into your soul as he ripped it from your body.

“We’re done here. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. You deserve more than that, but it’s all I can give.”

“Fuck you, Joel. Fuck this and fuck you,” you spat.

In some other world, you handled things more gently, but you’re certain that world beat and berate you with heartbreak after heartbreak.

So here you are, surrounded by darkness, letting the burning pain in your chest turn to numbness.

You laid in bed for a week, with only the memory of Joel to hold onto.

The way it felt to wake up late with him, when Ellie stayed with a friend and Joel stayed with you.

The way he would kiss the nape of your neck and trace his hands down the curve of your side from the swell of your breast to the top of your thigh. He would pull you in close pushing your ass against himself. Knowing exactly where to put his hands and lips to ignite a fire within you. Then he would move into you slowly, softly fucking you in then morning light. Whispering sweet nothings about how you could live in those moments forever.

All of those stolen touches, kisses, slow mornings and heated midnights. They were all ghosts of loves watermark. They drowned you, plagued your thoughts. You couldn’t escape them in this bed, this house, this city. Joel had infiltrated every corner, nook and cranny of your existence in Jackson, it made it impossible to breathe.

You hadn’t slept much since that night, because at least the darkness veiled the details of Joel the light seemed to amplify. It provided short moments where you could process half of a coherent thought. Those thoughts always brought you to the same place. Washington. You swore you wouldn’t go back after the QZ fell, but it is the only place you know you’ll find safety. Safety and ghosts from your past that wouldn't haunt you leaving you feeling cold and lifeless.

So in the darkness you packed what you would need for a few weeks travel. As the morning sun peeked over the mountains you knew what you had to do.

With your small pack over your shoulder and a backpack of food that would last a week or two if you rationed correctly, you headed up the hill to a house that was all too familiar.

You knocked gently on the door and it had opened a few moments later revealing a man, that you thought would be easy to say goodbye to. You were wrong.

“Tommy,” you whispered.

“Fuck,” he said, “I thought you were Joel.”

“I know you have patrol soon I won’t be long. Just had something I needed from you,”

“What is it?” He asked, dreading what the response might be.

“I need a gun and horse, to get me to Washington,”

“I was worried you might say that,” He raked his hand through his hair.

“I have to go. I can’t stay here any longer. Please Tommy, I can’t take it,” your voice broke as you pleaded.

"C'mon now is there anything I can do to convince you to stay?"

"I can't keep feeling this way Tommy. I've lost so much so quickly and had no choice in whether or not they left. This though? It's almost worse, he chose me and kept choosing me. Until one day he didn't anymore and I still have to face him. To face this town, it's tearing me apart. He chose this, he chose to lose me, and now it is my choice to keep moving, keep living." Tears threatened to break and you could barely speak above a whisper without your voice cracking.

“I understand,” he said putting his hands on your shoulders and pulling you into an unexpected hug.

“Let me get something for you and get you on your way,” he said.

“Thank y-“

“Under one condition,” he said.

“Anything,” you said.

“You find a way to tell me you’ve landed somewhere safe,”

“Promise.”

So you went to the stable to tack your horse, Blues, and secure your cargo. Tommy followed a few minutes later with a shotgun, ammo and hunting blade to get you through to Seattle.

“Thank you, Tommy,” you said offering him a smile.

“Hey, be safe out there, alright?” He pulled you in for one final hug.

“Tommy, uh, one more thing?”

“Shoot,” he said.

You pulled a clip from your hair. It was a tulip hair clip that Joel had found for you. The gold of the metal clip began rusting over at parts and the pink wasn’t as bright as you’re sure it had once been. Joel had found it for you when he learned how much you loved tulips and their sign of new life in the spring. How they came and went before all the other flowers and their was beauty in their brevity.

“Can you give this to Ellie? She won’t wear it it’s way too girly, but I just need her to know I’ll be with her aways,” you placed the clip in Tommy’s palm and he put it in his pocket.

“Go on now, before everyone’s up and tryna stop you,” Tommy nodded toward the door.

You mounted Blues and off you went through the gates of Jackson for what you were sure would be the last time. Not even a glance over your shoulder, if you looked back you’re not sure you would’ve made it past the tree line.

next part

comments, likes and rbs are so greatly appreciated

tags: @undrthelights @pedgeitopascal @tightjeansjavi @joelsversion & lmk if you would like to be added or removed in future <3

[werepuppy-steve]

gay pirate brianrot (our flag means death)

just straight up vibes, mate

the chain - fleetwood mac

sweet creature - harry styles

could have been me - the struts

here i go again - whitesnake

love is gone (acoustic) - SLANDER, dylan matthew

let me follow - son lux

achilles come down - gang of youths

till forever falls apart - ashe, FINNEAS

i found - amber run

achilles heel - j. maya

pierre - ryn weaver

partners in crime - set it off, ashe costello

motion sickness - phoebe bridgers

arms unfolding - dodie

sea of love - cat power

hello hello - elton john

ready now - dodie

love like you - caleb hayes

this will be (an everlasting love) - natalie cole

abcdefu (angrier) - GAYLE

would you go with me - josh turner

if i ain't got you - alicia keys

ship in a bottle - fin

underground - cody fry

one (mono single version) - harry nilsson

simply the best - billianne

miss missing you - fall out boy

burn butcher burn - joey batey

in case you don't live forever - ben platt

never love an anchor - the crane wives

inkpot gods - the amazing devil

ruin - the amazing devil

i guess i'm in love - clinton kane

chicken tendies - clinton kane

like real people do - hozier

seven - taylor swift

our prayer - the beach boys

hallucinogenics - matt maeson

crazy on you - heart

locomotive breath - jethro tull

high on a rocky ledge - moondog

messa da requiem: 2. dies irae - guiseppe verdi, berliner philharmoniker, carlo maria guilini, ernst senff chor

sonata in e major, k. 380 - domenico scarlatti, khatia buniatishvili

gnossienne no. 5: modéré - erik satie, olga scheps

concerto for recorder and viola dagamba in a minor, twv 52:a1: I.grave - georg philipp telemann, hille perl

II triello - ennio morricone

perfect day - lou reed

träumerei (kinderderszenen, op. 15) - robert schumann, ronny matthes

2 arabesques, l. 66: no. 1 in e major - claude debusy, peter frankl

rêverie, l. 68: rêverie - claude debussy, jean-yves thibaudet

avalanche - leonard cohen

miles from nowhere - yusuf / cat stevens

go to hell - clinton kane

back to december - taylor swift

mine - taylor swift

break my stride - matthew wilder

viva la vida - coldplay

blackbeard's ghost - jesse rice

back to black - amy winehouse

change (in the house of flies) - deftones

we'll never have sex - leith ross

make up your mind - florence + the machine

everybody loves me - onerepublic

the captain's daughter - alison krauss & union station

easy on me - adele

hoist up the thing - the longest johns

gimme! gimme! gimme! (a man after midnight) - abba

right where you left me - taylor swift

super trouper - abba

soldier, poet, king - the oh hellos

raise hell - brandi carlile

ocean blue - moniker

no choir - florence + the machine

leggie blonde - flight of the conchords

little lion man - mumford & sons

rolling in the deep - adele

pirate song - ben barnes

i love you like an alcoholic - the taxpayers

hello my old heart - the oh hellos

a pirate's life - joel fry

to death we go - joel fry

hurts like hell - fleurie, tommee profitt

lay all your love on me - abba

judas - lady gaga

the moon will sing - the crane wives

this side of paradise - coyote theory

shrike - hozier

enchanted - taylor swift

the night we met - lord huron

dear wormwood - the oh hellos

iris - the goo goo dolls

favorite crime - olivia rodrigo

the foundations of decay - my chemical romance

curses - the crane wives

matilda - harry styles

if i could fly - one direction

welcome home, son - radical face

the mary ellen carter - the longest johns

sweet disposition - the temper trap

like ships need the sea - emily hearn

[lookalivesunshine2007]

playlist explanation as requested by @r-capa !! 100% this is the most effort i’ve put into a playlist ever and i think it turned out so well. i hope anyone who gives it a listen enjoys it as much as i do. i’ll link the playlist again so people who see this post first wont have trouble finding it. its also decently late for me so sorry about any grammatical errors lmao :)

Starman (David Bowie) honestly this is really just a vibe establishing song that fits better with events that take place pre-movie, but i can't bring myself to get rid of it lol. feel free to skip this one (depending on when you see this it might not even be on the playlist)

Starlight (Muse) the “real” start of the playlist and the initial “we’re in space on a mission wow this is so cool”

Muse’s vibes in general are super space-y i feel. A nice little “before everything went wrong” song. it’s a super upbeat song with rad space vibes, plus lyrics like;

“far away, this ship is taking me far away”

“i will be chasing starlight until the end of my life”

Violet Hill (Coldplay) is Capa reminiscing about earth while sending his message to his loved ones, as well as the rest of the crew doing the same. (Capa specifically because he’s the only one we visually see do it). It’s also partially fitting to be about the crew’s dedication to completing their mission and the state of earth as they left it. Some lyrics that really stood out to me in this song were;

“Was a cold and dark december, from the rooftops I remember there was snow, white snow” among other lines about freezing and winter.

“I don't want to be a soldier who the captain of some sinking ship would stow far below '', basically the crew just refusing to sit around doing nothing while the earth freezes.

The “love” mentioned throughout could fit the crew’s love for earth displayed by their willingness to be a part of the Icarus II mission.

Hysteria (Muse) is when Harvey discovers the emergency beacon from the Icarus I, and they decide to change their course. It also goes into the shield repair scene, and Kaneda’s death. No particular lyrics (besides maybe the chorus very loosely) stick out for me but the overall message and vibe of the song fit so well with these scenes for me. I imagine the solo/bridge of this song is where Kaneda dies. The rest follows not ridgid/particular events.

Icarus (Bastille) Mace, Capa, Searle, and Harvey have just boarded the Icarus I. This song basically covers their entire time aboard the Icarus I. A ton of the lyrics fit so well in my opinion, especially when applied to Capa specifically. This song also covers the four aboard the Icarus I deciding that Capa is the most important, and Capa, Mace, and Harvey crossing the gap between the two ships to get back to the Icarus II. I find the bridge is best for the little quiet moment where they are preparing to take the leap between the ships. I’ll quote the chorus here so you can really get the vibes.

“Icarus is flying to close to the sun and Icarus’s life it has only just begun. This is how it feels to take a fall. Icarus is flying towards an early grave.” SO GOOD. These can be applied to the crew as a whole, as well as explicitly to Capa.

Viva La Vida (Coldplay) With only half the crew left, and the discussion and discovery of the Trey incident, the crew is basically just waiting for their death now. This song is representative of everyone still alive essentially making peace with their fates now that they are aware they don't have enough oxygen to make it home.

Psycho Killer (Talking Heads) PINBACKER. I feel like there's very little explanation needed for this one but i’ll get into it anyway because i LOVE this song. The song is quite literally about a serial killer. The scenes I think fit well with this song are basically just the ones with Pinbacker making his way through the crew LOL.

“I can’t sleep cause my beds on fire” OKAY SUNBURN MAN.

“we are vain and we are blind” fits so well with his views of fundamentalism.

The line “je me lance vers la glorie” translates to (roughly) “I launch myself towards glory” which again, brings us to his fundamentalism characterization and the “holy” mission he talks about throughout.

Apocalypse Please (Muse) The lyrics. OH MAN. It so perfectly encapsulates the final part of the movie, where Capa basically blows the Icarus II and its airlock open and makes his way to the payload, fighting Pinbacker and setting off his bomb. The last minute sounds “sparkly” if that makes sense, which I feel is PERFECT for when Capa does set off the bomb and we see it start to go off, sparkles and all. These are some of my favorite lyrics that relate to these scenes;

“Declare this an emergency. come on and spread a sense of urgency and pull us through. And this is the end, this is the end of the world”

“come on it's time for something biblical”

“proclaim eternal victory come on and change the course of history”

My Way (Frank Sinatra) This whole thing is basically Capa as he “meets” the sun. It's a kind of recounting of the events that led up to this place while time is slowed down. I like the upbeat and triumphant but overall melancholy feel of the song and it just makes it fit super well here.

“and now the end is near and so i face the final curtain” and honestly most of the lyrics. This is just a really versatile song that’s great for cinematic type playlists in general.

Capa Meets The Sun (Underworld) a song from the movie’s soundtrack that serves as a moment for everything to really sink in, and an extra moment before you go on with your day. I loved that this ends with the message Capa sent to his loved ones, and it's a perfect way to end the playlist. I wanted to put the main theme (Adagio in D minor) as the final song, but I felt this one fit the intended purpose better :)

[maxarat]

Happy Valentines Day!

I'm using today to talk about my original series because I can! Also I've been tagging the characters a bit. The series is called Flowers and Forests, and the books follow the naming convention of "[a flower chosen with flower language] and [an alliterative tree]." It follows a Jewish German family during the World Wars so you can probably guess the content warnings but I'll go over them book by book. Details under the cut, as always.

Instead of the order I plan to write them or the order they were concieved, I'm going to go chronological, just to keep everything straight.

Poppies and Poplars

The only warning I can think of is war. Also any similarities to Im Western Nicht Neues are purely an accident I swear

Poppies and Poplars follows 23 year old newly wed Karl Bohmer, who is called on to fight in the trenches of the Great War right after he returns home from his mandatory military service. His regiment is optimistic that the war will be short, that the governments of Europe will get their heads of their asses. But then Germany invades France. Snow falls. The new year passes. Karl's son is born. His friends, those from home and those from the regiment, die. And they realize, the war will not end. The theme of the story is loss of innocence.

For the characters, I'm starting with Karl. He's optimistic and cheerful, almost naïve, and constantly cracks jokes, especially as things get darker and darker. He's quick to love and quicker to care, which causes trouble. Other main characters are Helmut Loritz, an stubborn and serious man, and Benedikt Rothbauer, his laid-back friend. They're in their early 40s, and went to university together. Last is Richard Holzknecht, a 20 year old Prussian man from a wealthy merchant family. He starts out as tempermental and full of himself, but has an arc about chilling out- as much as you can in the trenches.

Irises and Ivy

Xenophobia, queerphobia, and British imperialism will be discussed

Irises and Ivy is about Karl's nephew, 20 year old Welshman Friedrich Pugh. He mans the telegraph on an English Battle Ship in the second half of the war. It isn't very developed plot wise, but the characters are, and theme is going to be about guilt.

Fritz went to Naval school because he was bullied a lot as a kid. Most of it was for being effeminate, but there was also some xenophobia there, and he thought that if he could serve their country, his classmates would stop. Other than that, he's a very intelligent man, knowing many languages, and malicious compliance is his bread and butter. He often gets in trouble with higher ranking officers for this and speaking Cymreag. He works primarily with Christian Beirne, an Irishman who is incredibly anxious and draws to distract himself. They're both friends with Peter Allen, a doctor working in the ship's infirmary. He's a witty and sarcastic fella, and honestly the best way I can describe him is if Hobie Brown were a white Scottish adult. Also he's Fritz's love interest.

Wisteria and Willows

Again, this is under developed, and xenophobia is going to be even more a theme here.

Lisa Boemer was ten when the war started, 13 when her story starts. Her father is a German immigrant, and her mother is from the Dominican Republic. There was a lot of anti-German sentiment during World War I, and the original idea for this one came from my Gigi telling me about how her parents and grandparents wouldn't let her experience their culture because of their experiences during the war.

Lisa is a natural born leader. She's very creative and always has an idea. She will defend almost anyone to the death and is great at making it so that doesn't need to happen. Her main friend group includes Thomas Abrahms, who is transfemme genderfluid, an oldest child, and the straight man of the group, to use a comedy term. Polina Cahana and Vida Pasternack are both very random, Polina in a spaced out way, and Vida in an extremely hyperactive way. I'm still working on them both, to be honest.

Lisa and Friedrich's parents are both Karl's older siblings. The next few stories are about Karl's wife's niece, Ada Zingel.

Myrtle and Mapels

This starts after Kristallnacht, and going forward Nazism, fascism, antisemitism, and racism will be present.

Ada's oldest brothers, David and Model, are arrested, and the rest of her family is beaten. Three months later, they are released, and their family is determined to leave Germany for their safety. Josef, 14, and Ada, 11, are sure that if they wait things out it will get better, and because tickets are so expensive, it's agreed the two of them will stay with family friends for a while, but soon it isn't safe there, and they have to stay on the move. They soon meet Sinti grandmother and granddaughter pair Deana and Tsura, 12, and decide to stick with them.

Ada is a trans girl and comes out to Josef during this book. She's extremely curious and loves talking to people, but becomes a lot more cautious as the story goes on. She is very independent, and wants to be seen as capable of caring for herself more than anything. Josef is stubborn and idealistic, thinking the best of everyone. Tsura is a quiet observer, quick to trust, and quicker to assist. Deana is extremely worried, as she should be having to live in the woods with a bunch of kids. She's like the quintessential grandmother, and honestly that's the only way I can describe her.

Erikas and Evergreens

Deana and Josef die towards the end of M&M. Between the books, Tsura and Ada are joined by a Sorbian boy, Jurij, who ran away from his abusive father. During Erikas and Evergreens, which starts in 1940, they meet cousins Eduard Jundt and Bernhard Loritz, who are about to turn 18, while they hike across Germany to see Bernhard's friend, Margreta Rothbauer. Bernhard and Margreta are the grandchildren of Helmut and Benedikt, but that isn't important. They're also travelling with Greta's cousin, Christel Klein. From Greta's, the group plans to go to Switzerland to wait out Nazis.

Jurij is very temperamental, careless, and slow to trust, and his arc is about healing from his trauma. Also he's trans. Eduard acts wears his emotions on his sleave and has a pattern of taking drastic action, catastrophizing the bad and idolizing the good, basically. Bernhard is easily worried and usually closed off, but he hides this by being a happy-go-lucky nerd. He is very caring, and sort of takes in the younger kids. Greta is incredibly sarcastic and intelligent, but she usually hides it behind an oblivious demeanor. Christel has ADHD, POTS, and "pastel autism" as Summer would call it, very cheery and friendly. She latches onto the grumpier characters especially, and hyperfixates on medicine and botany.

Other stories that don't have enough to fit the rest of the formatting are Orchids and Oaks, which follows these kids through the rest of the war, and Cornflowers and Cedars, which has Ada, Eduard, Christel, and Tsura reuniting with their families after the war.

[big-cheesy-productions]

The Loose Ends

Pathfinder Pirate Campaign Character Reflection

Session 18-19

Context: We finally made it the ball we've all anticipated so much, but everything went wrong. We got what we came for -the obsidian amulet- without a hitch. That wasn't the problem. The problem was Piper's supposed forbidden lover, Viktor, showed up, and revealed was actually her husband. Eventually he revealed he wasn't a man at all. He was the Man in Yellow, Piper's patron, and the BBEG of our campaign. The session ended with the Ghost Captain's return, the reveal that our Captain was the legendary Diego Vasquez from centuries ago, and his subsequent beheading before we could save him.

Content Warnings: Death, grief, death of father, death of father figure

~

I’ve only screamed like this one other time in my life. Howling. Primal. Not fearful. Not mournful. Angrily. Furiously. Righteously. My world is gold.

…

As I ran through the streets, the scroll bitter in my mouth, I didn’t know what my plan was. Just get to the ship. Just get it away from her. My feet bring me to the Captain’s doors. My distrust of him was fading away. I found myself turning to him more and more. I wanted to go to him, to place my confidence in him, and his in me. Maybe I just wanted him to look at me like Captain Thorne did.

The scroll confirmed what he and Vida already suspected: Piper serves the Man in Yellow, knowingly or not. And now Edward… I didn’t mean for him to read it. Everything happened so fast. It was all getting so big, so out of hand. And Piper was holding something back, as much as I wanted to believe the opposite. It was getting harder and harder to ignore.

And the Watch… the Watch was accusing me, I knew it in my heart. Something was wrong, but again, I lied to myself, told myself they would take care of everything. But they looked at me, all of these familiar faces, ones I had drank with, celebrated with, served with, looked at me like I was a traitor. How in the hells could they think I would do this to my own people, my family?

Finally we’re at the ball we’ve anticipated so much, the stakes are so high, and I can’t focus. I’m so angry and confused, and I don’t know these peoples’ dances and pleasantries. I realize how out of place I am, and it only fuels my anxieties. I’m about to burst at Piper, when he approaches, and calls her “wife.”

Ever since the conversation with the captain, after the stalker in the tent- No. No, I’m lying to myself, and I can’t keep doing it. Ever since Piper first told us her story, I knew something was off, something was missing. She did not give us the whole story, but I left it alone, convinced myself she was young, naïve, lost. I let it blind me. The façade, the lie I was telling myself, finally comes crumbling down. Not only was she withholding, the tale she wove for us was entirely untrue. She was lying from the very first, she who I had called “sister.”

Edward slips me the amulet, the thing that brought us here, and it gives me a welcome distraction. I must find the Captain and Vida. I search and I search and I search. They’ve slipped into the crowd somehow, away from me. I glance up and see Piper on the balcony, standing with a man draped in yellow, and the Captain’s voice is in my ears, commanding us to leave. A familiar feeling washes over me. I let the adrenaline take me, and I make for the doors we entered through, but stop cold when I see him, his sword plunged through the Captain’s chest.

“Diego.”

It’s as if time freezes. In that moment, that split second, everything comes together. The puzzle before us, of which we only had the frame, suddenly filling up. The pieces slot together. The Captain, Vasquez, Piper, the King in Yellow, the Watch, their accusations, the demons, the picture becoming fuller. There’s just a few pieces missing: Us.

The blade comes down before I can complete the puzzle.

…

I’ve only screamed like this one other time in my life. Only once before, when they dragged me from my father’s room when he slipped through my fingers.

My throat rips and tears, the amulet hot and sharp against my chest. I roar. I bellow. My eyes and my heart burn, and my world is gold.

~

19 sessions in, and we're just getting started. Feel free to send me any questions!

[heavenlee773]

Salutations, cuties ! Welcome to my humble abode !!

On here I post my art, stories, and basically any thoughts I’d like to share!

If you have any suggestions, just ask in the comments!

Things I will NOT humor in any way;

1: Anything 18+/ inappropriate

2: Any ships or characters I am uncomfortable with

3: Vulgar Language

~If I think of anything else, I’ll add it later~

I like Object Shows, Lego Monkie Kid/JTTW, Sonic, FNAF, TMNT, Warrior cats, Spider Man into the Spiderverse, jellyfish (sea animals), Raggedy Ann and Andy, Kamisama Kiss, Horimiya, One Piece, Saiki K, Kimi Ni Todoke, ATLA, Dr Stone, Red Queen, Fruits Basket, Fairly Odd Parents; A New Wish, etc!

I’ll probably mostly be posting LMK or JTTW, My Oc’s, and any other thing that peeks my interest for now so ideas are welcomed!

My art socials are my Insta, and Tiktok (lovelylee773)

On my Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@_TheLandOfNoName_ I post (mostly gacha) videos following the story of my Oc [No Name]

And on my other channel https://www.youtube.com/@lovelylee773 I post interviews and video essays about day to day occurrences!

My art commissions will be opened once I start posting my art, so stay tuned!

~Thanks for reading!~

-🤍

[trudemaethien]

For the WIP Asks: oh who would ever wish to be mand’alor (in italics because it sounds like the title of a musical -- one that i'd buy front seat tickets for!)

A high compliment, thank you!

the title comes from Coldplay’s Viva La Vida, with one word replaced by mando’a, the way i have structured all the titles of my Mer AU so far (yes this is freaky fishy fic UwU)

Cody, spear of pure spun star-stuff in hand, dives to his death.

And that’s the opening line!

This moment, this line, is featured in another fic from another POV. He’s going to fight the Insidious Horror of the Deep aka The Abyss, with a spear, because, you know, Cody. I gave him Din Djarin’s beskar spear bc it’s cool and he deserves it.

Cody’s an orca, in a nation and lineage of predominantly sharks. He’s Jaster Mereel’s third son, after Boba and Neyo—but the mantle of mand’alor has passed to him because Shit Happened.

love interests: Obi-wan, an influential (my notes say sailfin one place and sperm whale another) mer with whom he’s arranged an alliance by marriage, but ALSO Fox, a land-man he’s drawn to.

(we see Fox again later, with a scarred love-bite from something large on his thigh, being a pirate on Seventeen’s tall ship)

the chips arc is happening, but it’s a reversal—Sidious controls all the undersea magic-users (Jedi) and has made them turn on the clones/mandalorians.

here’s a size ref (not an illustration from this fic) next to both Rex, who is a GWS and the next mand’alor, plus a human. the art is messy and i’ll probably not finish it (but see his cool 3-ray saddle marking? he also has white streaks in his long hair, not pictured)

[ophelia-jones]

Verity saw them approaching before the alarm was raised, her position at her window giving her a better vantage point than the gate post. She had always kept someone on the rooftop, but either Negan hadn't done the same or it was someone who wasn't paying attention.  It took nearly a full two minutes from the time she first saw the caravan alproaching to the time when she heard the remaining Saviors scrambling.  Seven Etta had killed, five more had jumped ship, and word from Dwight time her that the remaining men were losing confidence. Negan's heart wasn't in it, his desire to take over the world had faded. Now he was just trying to hold on to what he had left.

There are only a few moments in life when you know ahead of time that everything is going to change; most of the time though, it hits you at the most mundane times and places. Sitting at a red light and a drunk driver plows into your car, taking away your life or that of someone you love in the car. Maybe you come home early and find your best friend in bed with your spouse on a Tuesday afternoon. You go to the dentist for a crown and get a cancer diagnosis instead.

Today was the former, like a wedding day or the day a first child was born. She had known for a long time now that Negan's past would catch up to him. It had always only ever been a matter of time. She heard the rattle of the lock in the door being released. 

"They're almost at the gate," Dwight told her quietly from the open door.

"Where is he?" she asked, steeling herself for what she had to do.

"He's at the front door. They are planning to let them in the fence and pin them down in the courtyard. Like fish in a barrel."

"Thank you, Dwight," Verity told him. "You'd better get through that hidden exit now if you want to stay out of the line of fire. I hope you find her, your wife." 

Dwight smiled sadly and nodded. He turned to go but turned back briefly to speak.

"I hope this plays out the way you want, Verity," he told her before slipping away with a backpack full of supplies and weapons she had stashed in the apartment for him in preparation for the day Haven fell. Today was that day.

. 

"Negan!" Rick called out from beyond the gate. "We know you're here. If you come out peacefully, no one else has to die. There's been too much of that already." 

"Do you swear, Ricky? Like, Pinkie swear?" Negan replied via megaphone. The sound echoed in the courtyard and was followed by silence. When the gate swung open, the council representatives cautiously moved forward but stopped short of entering the courtyard. They would not be closed in by the gate.

"What we have here is a failure to communicate, Rick!" Negan said into his bullhorn. "You seem to be under the impression I have forgotten a promise you made to me. What was it you said? Maybe not today, not tomorrow… But I will kill you. Wasn't that what you said?" 

"There's been too much death, Negan. We have to stop killing each other if we are going to build a future for Judith, for Vida." Rick replied, surveying the courtyard to get an idea of who might be hiding where.

Negan was fuming that Rick would bring the kids into this. He was so agitated that he didn't realize Verity was approaching until she reached the door. 

"What? How the fuck are you out here? How the shit did you get out?" he demanded.

"My house," Verity replied. "My rules. Now you just shut up for once and let me say what I need to say."

To her surprise, and his as well, Negan did not speak a word.

"I know you're scared, Negan. Shut up and listen. Not a sound!" she told him, covering his mouth with her hand when he tried to object to her accusation of his being afraid.  "You do not get to decide who lives and who dies. I'm not talking about Glenn, Abraham, or any of the others. 

"I'm talking about Carl. I'm talking about Lana. Negan, I'm talking about Lucille. You didn't fail her because you couldn't save her. You didn't fail her - she wanted you to be free of the burden of guilt. She tried to take your guilt away, make it so you wouldn't blame yourself, and still that's exactly what you did! And then you set out to try and take over, to save as many as you could to make up for it. But you couldn't save them, either. Because it's not your responsibility. It's not up to you. She wouldn't want this for you, it has to stop!" 

Negan's jaw was hard set, his eyes nearly black as he stared at Verity. He had told her about Lucille because she said he talked about his wife in his sleep. Once he had begun to speak about her, he had shared his pain with Verity because he trusted her.  He had not trusted anyone since before the outbreak. He wanted to rage at her for daring to bring Lucille up - but she was right. He could practically hear her sweet voice saying the same words Verity had said. 

"Listen, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not, I am part of the deal. Where you go, I go. If they lock you up I will be there to stand guard. If they put you on work duty, I'll help you rake the garden with you or whatever you'll have to do. I will be there to be sure they are holding up their end." Verity's words were coming quickly now. She could hear chatter at the gate, they were getting nervous.  The tears in Negan's eyes made Verity's chest ache. He nodded his head sadly and wiped at his nose and eyes.

"Negan!" a woman screamed from the middle of the courtyard. She had passed the others at the gate and stormed inside. She was joined now by a shorter, slimmer woman with a Cuban hat on.  Both women carried pistols.

"Let me talk to them," Verity said, starting to hurry away but pausing and turning back to kiss Negan softly.

"What's that for?" he asked, his dark eyes searching her face. He didn't like the feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

"Me. That one was just for me," she replied mysteriously before venturing out into the courtyard with her hands above her head. 

"You must be Maggie," Verity greeted the pretty young woman with the broad-brimmed hat and holster on. It brought to mind an old West shootout. She almost wished she had brought her pistol out, and could have done this in a duel instead of having to try and convince Maggie not to kill Negan using only her words.  

"You're not Negan. Where is he?" Maggie demanded. 

"He's here, but I have a question for you first. Are you looking for justice, or revenge? Because I would be out for revenge, personally, if the roles were reversed. And killing Negan isn't much revenge. It'll be over for him, but it will never be over for you. It may be satisfying at the moment, but long run? It won't change anything." Verity stepped very slowly toward the woman as she spoke. 

"And revenge?" Maggie asked.

"Killing Negan won't hurt him for long, and to be pedantic about it, the truest equivalent would be if you killed someone whom Negan loved as much as you loved Glenn." Here, Verity dropped to her knees. "That would be me. So kill me instead."

Maggie looked at her coldly, raising her pistol and aiming at her. Verity did not flinch and showed no sign of fear.

"You would die for him?" Maggie asked quietly.

"I would," Verity confirmed with no hesitation whatsoever.

"I would have died for Glenn if I had been given a chance," Maggie told her. "I didn't have one though - and neither do you." 

"If that's the case, Maggie, I'm afraid you'll have to kill us both. And then my people and Negan's people will have to kill you and your people. How many do you think will be left standing, by the time the day is done? How many more people have to die for this to end?" 

"Does he love you? Is he capable of that?" Maggie asked, her gun dipping slightly.

"He is - he is a broken man but he is capable of love. And regret. And fear. It's fear and grief that are keeping this cycle of violence going, Maggie. We can stop it. You and I, right here, right now. I'll pay the price for him to have a chance to be the person I know he can be." Verity told the woman, never looking into her eyes.  Maggie raised her gun again.

"No! No! Wait!" Negan called, sprinting out, hands up. Rick was beside Maggie now, resting a hand on her arm, urging her to lower the pistol.

"Verity, you are the mother fucking stubbornest god damned woman!" Negan was cursing her, dropping to his knees and wrapping himself around her protectively.

"Maggie, you are better than this. You're better than HIM. Don't make yourself into the monster you're hunting." Rick told Maggie in a quiet, impassioned voice. Maggie's hand began to tremble. Tears of rage spilled from her eyes.

"He has to pay!" she told Rick. 

"He will, Maggie," Rick assured her. The air was charged as everyone stood silently waiting to see what would happen. Verity had risen to her feet but stood between Maggie and Negan. She was still, arms wide, shoulders back. She was making herself a target, shielding him.

Slowly, Maggie lowered her weapon, her shoulders shaking with rage and frustration as Rick took her gun from her. As everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, Verity's eyes fell on Rosita and she knew. She saw her hand moving, saw the hardness of her eyes. She knew what was about to happen, and moved instinctively, moving to put herself in the path of Rosita's bullet. 

"NO!" Negan's below echoed through the courtyard, bouncing out into the woods beyond. Everyone watched as she fell onto Negan where he was still struggling to rise. It all happened so quickly. 

Etta, who had been approaching the group slowly, broke into a run, disarming Rosita and hitting her with a left hook that should have knocked the smaller woman out. Rosita reeled backward but remained alert. The adrenaline from pulling the trigger was the only thing that kept her awake.   "Vee? You're ok, you're ok. Hey, look at me. Breathe. It's ok," Negan talked to Verity as she clutched her right shoulder where the bullet had pierced her. She nodded at him to indicate that she could hear him and she understood what he was saying to her. 

Negan looked at the tiny entry wound, placing his hand on it, and pressing down to stop the bleeding. Rick was beside him, helping him lower her to the ground while Daryl separated Rosita and Etta, standing between them with his arms stretched out as wide as they could go, palms up, and speaking to them like he would a frightened animal. 

"It's not that bad, Vee," Negan reassured Verity with a forced smile. Rick's face was not as reassuring; he had seen the exit wound.  She blinked her eyes, finding it hard to keep them focused, and reached up to wipe her blood from Negans face. She held his gaze for as long as she could keep her eyes open. 

"Jesus Christ! Jesus fucking god damned mother fucker! Why?" Negan raged at Rosita, standing and charging forward, hands grasping Lucille; but this time it was Etta standing between Negan and Rosita.

"Stop! Negan, this has to stop!" she declared, standing chest to chest-with the man who had once been such an intimate friend. He was raging, his face twisted with a mix of overwhelming emotions. Etta reached out and rested a hand over Negan's, her other hand reaching to grasp Lucille's handle above where his hand grasped.  

"The sooner you let go, the sooner we can get their Dr in here, ok? He can help but not until they know you aren't going to take his head off for trying."

Daryl, stood up straight and tall, broad shoulders back and chin out stood behind Etta, daring Negan to try anything. His eyes matched Negan's in intensity and he knew it was over. His jaw trembled and his mouth twisted up, and finally he released his grip on Lucille. Etta quickly took hold and stepped away so she and the bat were out of his reach. Negan stood, defeated, his face in his hands as Sidiq and the others rushed in and began trying to help Verity. 

Negan dropped to his knees, both hands in his hair and he wept.

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

Tomaré Tus Partes Rotas También

by Arilizve

Izzy está mirando fulminante a todos estos cabrones pavoneándose por la puta playa como si esto fuera normal. No puede creer que estos malditos idiotas trajeron niños para interactuar con putos piratas. ¿Qué clase de crianza irresponsable es esa? ¿Y también está Jim, enseñándole a la puta hija como lanzar putos cuchillos? No-- no lo hará. Nada de involucrarse en ninguno de sus jodidos-- ay maldita sea. Con un gruñido, Izzy se acerca a ellos. No es como si fueran a escucharlo, pero es mejor que intente intervenir ahora antes de que la niña reciba una puñalada y Mary intente asesinar a Jim. Algo le dice que ella sería capaz.

La vida en la barco continua. Izzy sigue estando adoptado a la fuerza y acosado por la tripulación mientras aprende que son las emociones, Su nueva recluta se adapta mejor a su nuevo hogar, todas las parejas siguen estando asquerosamente enamoradas y Lucius está harto de ser el único tripulante que tiene putos ojos.

(Si esta es la primera parte que lees, hay un pequeño resumen en las notas.)

Words: 18177, Chapters: 2/2, Language: Español

Series: Part 7 of Sin ataduras sobre mí

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, M/M, Other

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Frenchie (Our Flag Means Death), Roach (Our Flag Means Death), Oluwande Boodhari, Jim Jimenez, Black Pete (Our Flag Means Death), Lucius Spriggs, Wee John Feeney, The Swede (Our Flag Means Death), Ivan (Our Flag Means Death), Fang (Our Flag Means Death), Israel Hands, Original Trans Character(s), Original Cat Character(s), Mary Allamby Bonnet, Doug (Our Flag Means Death), Alma Bonnet, Louis Bonnet

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Black Pete/Lucius Spriggs, Oluwande Boodhari/Jim Jimenez, Fang/Ivan (Our Flag Means Death), Frenchie/Original Trans Character, Israel Hands/Roach (Our Flag Means Death), Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Mary Allamby Bonnet

Additional Tags: Found Family, Crew as Family, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Light Angst, Fluff, Gift Giving, Apologies, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, If you saw one of those ship pairings and are like, wtf that would NEVER work in a million fucking years, i hear you and youre valid but also maybe give it a try, can roach do better?, undoubtedly, does this work with all the character growth im giving izzy?, I’ll leave that up for you to decide, Izzy continues to be forcibly adopted by the crew, and stockholm syndrome is beginning to set in, talking and bonding over trauma, cause that’s what we do here on the revenge!, despite the trauma talk still mostly fluff, Established Relationship, Getting Together, those two tags refer to diff relationships if that wasn’t clear, lucius is tired of being the ship’s relationship counselor, but no one does it like him so what’s a gay to do, Ed is a chaotic yet lovable uncle, Ed is great with kids

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/44577562

[blackdragon-selfships]

Hola Dama de la Vida

Thank you for answering and I wouldn't want special treatment. But following that answer. Do you have any special technique or a certain little quirk that helps calm Señor muerte?

What an odd thing to ask…

No, I just leave him to get over it…even if it may take a while.

He always burns out in the end…

[izbelross]

Chapter 1 of Por la vida que soy libre

A/N: SO!! Here it is, the first Chapter, it will set us on the plot, be careful with the little chats between our protagonists 'cause they might make you believe something will happen but... are you sure it will happen how you expect it? 😏🥰 Btw I am in love with Sam and Bucky being in a relationship and no one can take me out of that fucking ship, thank you 😘 There are gonna be mentions of more characters in the future and appearances, beware. Tell me what you think my unknown friends of the deep fandom internet hole I'll love to read you as well.... and I tried doing reader gender neutral, forgive me if I failed that task.

My first taglist!! ASDFGHJKLÑ

Taglist: @scoliobean 😌🥰

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Black Widow!Reader x Frank Castle Soulmate au!

Warnings: angst ( i think all of my works have angst fuck) / fluff and fluff / enemies to friends to lovers (kinda) / violence, torture ( not that graphic) / character death / happy ending / drama / Very harsh language

Word count: 6,4K

Summary: everyone is born with a soulmate (a/n: wouldn't that be mental?) Soulmates can hear their thoughts since childhood, some others up until they're older. This connection only becomes stable when soulmates meet, but as it can be nourished to bloom into something solid it can also be stopped. Soulmates come with a free choice, you don't die without them, you can learn to live with the one of your choice, free will no matter what. Although those who chose their destined ones can coincide in one thing: "You could never regret it". But when you are raised like a puppet of violence, your free will in every aspect of your life seems to have never existed. Along with your chance of meeting the ones destined for you.

Prologue

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

"What is it they say about destiny? Do you remember? No matter the path, it always ends at the beginning."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·

The deafening sound of the London streets was a common occurrence at this hour of day. You were pretty sure that even if half the population left, the sound will still be as irritating, just as in every other city with busy capitals actually.

Vendors were trying to lull you to their little shops and a few street singers and dancers were giving life to the dull weather. Some of them wore capes, others barely any clothes to cover them up as how the play required it of them and thankfully for you, this was playing at your favour.

Dressed like one of the actress, you stood --as once did the lover of Shakespeare-- knee length boots, black trousers, white chemise and a long red cape that when you turned it over it became yellow. It was a decent outfit, meanwhile you stood aside the play, watching as a replacement of one of the actors and scanning the crowd in search of your next target.

Was a sad day when one of your lasts contacts betrayed you, selling your name and letting you down in the mud, meanwhile they took what you earned with your own sweat and time, your plan and your ammo.

Second chances were never given from you and nothing else could be say out of it. So, even if they had begged for your understanding, payed you the exact amount and more of what the contract said, you weren't near to trust them again nor let them free of punishment.

They could call you revengeful or a piece of shit that had no compassion. But you had learned by bad experience that not everything could be rose gold and shining and forgivable.

So here now you stood, watching as the crowd stared at the actors, laughing, tearing up with them.

You counted the seconds away from the Restoration of Trust plan. And at exact 3 o'clock, the piercing scream coming from one of the bystanders rippled through everyones ears.

You watched amused as a very drunk man was thrown out of a car by two men that started screaming at him, followed by a beautiful woman -- who you had payed earlier-- that looked beaten and traumatised. They three, started the new spectacle once the taller man spotted your red cloak between the greys and blacks of the crowd. Suddenly, the play wasn't as important to everyone as the poor girl that was crying so loud even some of the workers from the surrounding buildings took a peak outside.

The culprit still trying to come back to his senses, looked from here to there, not understanding what had happened, but as soon as the people around got the point of it the morality kicked in.

It would be a miracle if the man didn't die from all the pushes, kicks and punches from the enraged crowd. Honestly, it was amusing to watch, but you didn't have the time.

Waving a hand at the woman that was now being protected by... well, everyone, you took your leave at her slight nodding.

~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~~~

Being alone in what was left of this world, after Thanos, after Stark passing away, Rogers choice and- well, Natalia's' dead, meant that the family you made along the way, the family you found after being ripped from your biological one, would never get over the loss of such important members. And it was there, at the eyes of the entire fucking world, that the Avengers were no longer a group to reach, they became more a group to remember.

You would be lying if you said it didn't hurt, that it didn't pain you.

Even more at knowing that for five years your existence had been reduced to nothing and that when you returned, everything had changed, the people had grown, the time had passed and you still were wearing the combat suit in which you dusted away.

"Attention passengers, we'll be arriving soon, please take a seat and fasten your seatbelts"

Upon arriving to the States, the entire point of your travel lost meaning for a moment while you basked in the expanse of the difference between cities, the white of falling snow welcoming you. America would always be an exciting place to visit and wander, from South to Centre and North.

The memories you made plagued your mind. The people still alive that you cared for was still in the surroundings, trying to do good. Helping others that still needed them and guarding each others back. Yelena, Bucky, Sam, Sharon, Wanda, Strange. These were names that warmed your heart with only imagining what they could be up to, if they remember you as well as you did them.

Indeed, America was your home, even if you had been born in any other place, it became your home because your family was still here, waiting for you to come back.

Giving a long, long sigh you waited until getting out of the plane to call your sister.

~~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~~~~

"Hey красивая" you greeted Yelena just as she answered the call. "I'm on my way home, call the Captain and the Sergeant and tell them not to-"

Suddenly the sound of rustling and 'what the fuck dude!' Followed by more struggling cut you out of words. You rolled your eyes, already knowing who it was making the mess at the other side of the line.

"Hello sweetheart! How's been the most annoying being on the planet?" The purring voice of a man reached your ears and the chuckle hidden on his words made your smile widen.

"Hello to you too Barnes and well, you probably have been sucking Wilson's cock, right?" A snort of amusement and a hearty laugh rumbled all the way to your side of the line, a faint 'Oh yes, he has' made you laugh as well.

Bucky screamed at the voices and then he was back to you "And you shut up too, you leave for ages and the first words you tell me are those? Rude. Here, you deal with them..."

"Wait! Bucky! C'mon, don't be like that! I was joking!" You screamed between your wheezing but he ignored you and Sam's own laughs were your only answer.

"Now I have missed you (y/n)."

"Big Sam! Mi hermano! I have missed you so fucking much too, you all. How's Yelena? She wants to punch you in the face already? Or she waiting for you to give back the phone?"

"Bucky is trying to hold her back with those Mexican candies you sent." You smiled a little at that.

After being away for almost two years with little to non communication, you made sure to at least send two times a year enough presents for them that you bought along your journey, from space --which was a little hard considering you had to leave early given your poor stomach not adjusting to the extraterrestrial food-- and the comings and goings in your sweet, sweet Planet Earth. One of the presents were a lot of different Mexican treats and candies and pastries. Accompanied with carefully detailed instructions in how to cook Mexican food without getting poisoned in the process.

The shipping had been expensive, but you made sure that all the goodies would last them for the entire year or year and a half that you were away. And it had to be enough for the two soldiers, your sister and Sharon, that were the only ones who still had more contact between each other.

"I'll be there soon, I'm actually like two blocks away from home so-" Sam's screamed pierced your ears and you heard a thud before Yelena's voice greeted you with more enthusiasm than normal. She had knock out Sam without doubt.

"(Y/n)! You better get here right now or I fucking swear I'll shoot them- No, Bucky! Those are mine, you metallic slut!" You covered your mouth with a hand so your struggle to not laugh couldn't be heard. "Please (y/n), I can't deal with these monkeys alone and- Oh my god! What the fuck- Just hurry up!" Then she hung up and finally, finally you let out a long string of laughs that made your stomach and cheeks hurt.

The cab turned around and you were relieved to finally see your little home four houses away in the long, long street.

Even if Bucky was tangled with the fairy lights and a big wired deer, both hanging from each side of the chimney that had black smoke coming out in big exhales.

Sam was filming the tries of Sharon at disentangling him without letting him drop or the deer.

And Yelena at the side of the sidewalk and about to cut the string that made weight with the big ass looking deer.

"You sure is here?" Asked you the driver and the feeling of warmth ran through your entire being at answering that yes, those are my idiots.

~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~

"Castle, are you there?" The gentle thud of snow making contact with his large window accompanied Matt tonight. Not many thoughts were in his head but a headache. A constant reminder that last night patrol wasn't entirely healed.

"What'ya need Red?" Answered the man to his head, voice a strong baritone, sign that he wasn't even close to sleepy.

Matt stayed silent for a few seconds, there were a lot of things he needed. Starting for a black coffee that could erase the taste of blood in his mouth or the feel of silk behind his fingers after having to put his hands through broken concrete in search of a girl that was almost buried alive.

But in the meantime, "Tell me 'bout your day."

Frank let out a knowing sound, "It wasn't so different from the others." Murmured, a tinge of shame and tiredness on his voice.

"Didn't expect otherwise."

And so with a long sigh, Frank told Matt the entirety of his todays adventures. From the trail all the way to Canada he had to follow right to the empty radio station on the woods where a man was waiting for him and offered him a hint into one of the helpers for his family's murdered.

"You sure about trusting him?" Said Matt, a frown etched on his injured face. "Doesn't sound like a reliable source if you ask me."

"He knew about Cerberus and The Hand. 'Bout Russo and... and 'bout you, like Daredevil."

The stillness that overcame him was enough to make him forget his injured ribs. "How did-"

"'S'a mutant."

Matt knew what this meant. Frank was going to hunt down these people, whoever they were. And once he found them, then death would be the last thing in Franks mind.

For what seemed like hours neither of them spoke, but on his mind, Matt could hear the soft music coming from Castle's. It was their way of communicating.

Neither of them were good with words, being romantic or sensibles was something that got lost with time. So do the encouraging gestures or speeches they used to say to one another back to when Matt was a student and Frank wasn't a marine. Back when the world seemed to have value or a well drawn line into what they wanted.

But now this was what they could rely on. The soft sound of a ballad or the rhythm in a rock and roll song. The only kind of understatement that they could listen to all day long, while doing their jobs, while going out at night at vigilantes activities. Before going to bed or when the time to visit the cemetery was up to date.

Matt had never spent an entire day with Frank in another way but fighting against bad people. Villains and monsters that lurked the dark. Both of them having become the protectors of those that were in danger. And in those moments, with their soul-bond sighing in relief at their closeness, they never spoke about sensible topics or made a move to touch in a comforting manner the skin of the other.

It was an unspoken rule between them and something they were comfortable at following.

A few seconds of silence passed before Frank spoke again.

"I felt it again," Frank's voice startled him, but before he could ask what, Castle continued. "The pull."

There wasn't needed an explanation for that. The memory was still fresh on their minds, like it was yesterday, when they felt their souls being ripped apart, not from each other but from a third one, a third connection that was calling them with such desperation that they almost got mad with worry and rage and fear.

They couldn't do anything but try to reach that little, tiny cord that was almost broken but persisted, buried deep inside their minds and whoever their third part belonged to.

"I felt it too." Matt cleared his voice, suddenly a dry throat and a heaviness on his mind that mirrored Frank's. "I was at the courthouse when- I felt it more vividly this time, like it almost wanted me to notice."

"Ya think they're closer? Perhaps they feel us too. Pulling to get them."

"I hope so, Frank."

It wasn't of them to talk about their feelings or share opinions about each others lives. But there was a common ground were they two step at the same time, where both Matt and Frank wouldn't venture without the other. They could spent entire nights and days plotting about it, trying to get to a point of understanding and researching non stop until their heads gave up. And it was about their third soulmate.

Back in that day, when the pain radiated out of you and seeped into their minds, they lost all sense of control over their already fallen lives. They had no way of reaching to you, your mind wasn't open, your soul wasn't ready to be with theirs, and from that day on they doubted that it will ever be.

They couldn't search for someone they had never known or talked to or seen. They didn't know the sound of your voice, the world you lived in, your name was a mystery up until today!

"You think they're fine?" Matt's question was one that Frank wanted to say yes to, he wanted to believe with all his heart that whoever their soulmate was and whatever they were doing, they were better than the other times he felt the bond nip at him in a painful way.

But Frank Castle knew better than to wish upon dreams. Frank Castle knew that pain could come in more than physical ways. And not ever once had The Pull being without pain or sadness.

"I don't know, Red." Answered The Punisher, worry lacing his tone, a new heaviness settling in him.

"I'll go with you. To see this man and help you find with the target he gives you."

Castle scoffed "And then what, boy? Ya gonna stop me from getting to them? Think 'bout how it go last time, Murdock."

"I said I'll help you find them, whoever they are. What you do to them is really not my problem, Castle. I've learn that there's no power in this world to stop you from doing your will."

Frank almost laughs at that, there was a very strong power that could stop him from killing those mother fuckers and Matt not knowing it was him, the fucking Daredevil, that had many times unconsciously convinced him to do better was very, very amusing.

"Then better get'ya ass ready, Red. We're leaving in a week."

~~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~~

Christmas dinner was spend sharing stories of the past, that even if they still hurt, they were welcomed in the tiny living room, lit with candles and warm golden lights. The champagne Sharon brought and her own home made recipe of sweet potatoes and orange turkey was devoured by all of you.

She told you about the entire new team at her disposal and the also new vigilante that everyone called Spiderman and asked you many questions from London, your last stay, the vigilantes from there and if you ever met them in person or worked with them.

The only one that you had contact with was Strange and only in one occurrence. The rest you heard only gossiping; a white masked man or something like that.

Sam and Bucky had an entire drama to tell that lasted almost up until midnight, between Yelena cutting in once or twice to tell you about last year encounter with Clint and Kate, she spent Christmas and New Years there and she confided in you that having a family like that made her tear up a little. It was a home away from home, siblings that treated her like a sister, making fun of her without fearing her, complimenting her looks without wanting anything in return. It was refreshing. It was new and something she wanted you to experience as well. For the New Year you two would call Clint to go there for the upcoming celebration.

And you, you had not much to say that wasn't depressing.

You had been away because Erik needed you. You both wanted to make the world a better place for mutants, but first you needed to make sure the people that were still hunting your fellow sisters and brothers were taken care of, and so you two went on a killing spree all the way from Asia to Africa to Central Europe.

The betrayal wasn't planned but it was expected that, at some point, one of your teammates would fall to the lies of those in power. So you had taken care of each one of the liars and everyone involved.

At the end, Erik thanked you and got to his own way, back to Asia.

You didn't dare speak about all of this at such a happy reunion. They didn't need to know that and you weren't about to ruin the night by confessing that the travel, in search of mutants to aid, had become a hunting for bad people that wanted your entire mutant fellows dead.

That was the end of the night, with you all opening presents and basking in the special little moments of happiness.

~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~

The morning was cold when you step in your porch, the sun hadn't come out and the lights on the large street were still on, barely giving light to a peaceful white, grey and black morning. The snow ha covered almost every exit at the garage of the houses including your own and you would have to make a new shopping trip in case of a snow in.

You relished on the quite stillness of no one around you, only the cold, cold weather and the occasional chirp of a bird far away.

It was in moments like this when you wondered what would Natalia be doing right now? You liked to imagine how life with her still here would be. Her soulmate was a brilliant person, a truly loyal friend that used to shine upon everyones minds and made the days lighter, even for people like the Avengers.

Natasha adored her soulmate to the point of marrying in secret and gaining the ire of the one and only extravagant Tony Stark. That was an act of love that not even you were sure back then to have accomplished without ending fearing the revenge of the billionaire. You still can remember how Tony didn't stop pestering them both even in their "secret" honeymoon, which he casually invited all of you at the same place where the newly wed couple was celebrating.

Her soulmate, you thought how are they?

Yesterday you didn't dare to ask anyone about them for fear of downing the mood and the fear that came of knowing you haven't cared that much for them since you came back. It wasn't because of a lack of empathy, it was because seeing them and coming back to their shared home where you had been many times hanging out... it pained you.

You still hadn't say your condolences to them or showed up to their doorstep or even asked about them and-

A sudden whisper from a gruff voice made your head rise from the white grass.

You waited in silence just to hear it again. It was a man's voice, you could almost swear you heard someone saying something but you didn't quite catch up the words!

Taking a few steps further, your eyes tried to accommodate to the darkness in front of you. No one was there.

The movement from a bush startled you, but you kept your ground, quickly grabbing the first thing that was at your reach. A pot with a gardenia on it. You kept your gaze steady, your stillness making your other senses come into action, you could almost see the figure of someone right there... between the darkness, the silhouette of long legs and broad shoulders that started to move towards you, a hand that-

"What the fuck are you doing out here?" You let out a scream while turning around and throwing Yelena the pot, which she dodge slapping it away and making a mess of dirt and broken mud all over the front door. "What the hell (Y/n)!"

"You scared the shit out of me Yelena! What the fuck!"

She only grumbled in response trying to clean herself from the dirt on her pyjamas and saying something that you completely ignored, instead turning around and trying to focus again on the spot where the shadow appeared.

There was nothing there.

"Are you even listening? Hell, (Y/n), let's get inside. Jeez."

She turned and entered the house, leaving you alone with her grumbling fading inside the place and your heart still hammering in your chest.

"The next step for us is Clint's home and from there we should be okay with the enormous amount of canned food you bought." Sharon picked one by one the said cans and started placing them inside the cabinets. "You should eat more organics, you could get cancer with this things you know?"

"Talking Bucky out of processed products is like trying to make a dog fly." Said Yelena entering the small kitchen. Bucky smirked, he was in an unusual good mood for being nine in the morning.

"Talk all you want, doll, but the serum would never allow something like that to happen. Besides, I don't like cooking."

"But Sam does like cooking." You said from the stool at the counter. "I can't imagine him eating all this crap, Buck."

"Well, he does have Barnes for snack every day." Sharon mumbled while trying to read the nutrimental values from the pack. Bucky went deep red on his cheeks.

"Okey, that's it. I'm going upstairs."

"No! Bucky! I just came back, don't leave me!" Getting up from your seat you almost begged for him to stay, it was a fun sight; a man so big and feared by many, blushing with the teasing like a teenager. But with him coming from a year where it was uncommon from women to speak like that and he still getting used to it and all, it was actually endearing and understandable.

The teasing came back and forth, Yelena trying to help him understand all your jokes meanwhile Sharon and you tried your hardest to make him blush, giving specifics in how to please men.

Sam entered a little while later, when breakfast was ready and the tone of red in Bucky's cheeks made him arch a brow, Buck only shrugged and send him a wink before continuing eating.

"Sit down, man, Sharon cooked some bacon and pancakes." The Captain looked at you first, trying to gain your attention but you were too lost in your food to notice.

"First there's something you need to see. All of you."

At that, you did locked eyes on his and suddenly it felt very much like when you were all part of the Avengers and a debriefing was given by him, you being told what was the mission and your part on it. That gaze of you probably won't like it but he don't have a choice was one you knew very well.

"What is it?" Sharon took a seat beside you, looking less stressed, just as Yelena. But Bucky knew this man even better than himself and so, he knew that this joyous morning had ended, probably the rest of them as well. You two glanced at each other for a second, returning naturally to Sam's commanding voice.

"Strange sent a message for you (Y/n)" Sam put the envelope on the table, right in front of you.

"For me?"

"It's about Erik Lensherr, he's come back to America."

The air between you and the soldiers turned ice cold in a minute. Even if you haven't told them what exactly you did this past two years, they did knew you were alongside Erik, and he wasn't known for his moralistic tactics.

"He told me he wasn't coming back, not until Charles called him." You took the envelope, opening it with the other, inside were pictures of Erik leaving the airport and going inside a black car, each one of them was taken with a span of few minutes between the ride he made from the airport to the train station, then there were no more photographies. "He said he was going back to Asia."

"Perhaps he changed his mind." Commented Yelena, taking one of the pictures while munching on a piece of well toasted bacon.

"That's not all. He was last seen with a lawyer and his secretary Karen Page, the three of them where seeing entering 'Nelson, Murdock and Page', a law firm at New York. They stayed there for three hours and then only Erik got out. The rest stayed until their normal hours of work."

Sam sent your mobile the information about the entire visit to New York that Erik had made. Apparently he not only didn't tell you about his abrupt appearance but he didn't even let Charles know. He was wearing the helmet all the time, under a very weird looking hat, but yeah, you would recognised that big ass head of his while wearing his helmet at any perspective.

"Strange told me that he went to see him as well and asked some pretty interesting questions about specific people."

"Who did he asked for?" Sharon beat you to ask.

"For (Y/n), although he didn't specify exactly what. Then for some 'The Punisher' and 'The Hand'."

"What kind of names are those?" Sam gave Bucky a pointed look. "What? Its always "The" and whatever it comes next."

"Dude, you were "The Winter Soldier"" Yelena joked.

"And it was embarrassing! Honestly I think HYDRA at least could have come up with something shorter, or at least not as fucking boring." Whined Bucky with energy, Sam was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You could have been called The Hand." Sharon added.

"More like The Arm, I think." You snickered.

"We are not discussing that!" Shouted a very annoyed Sam, and your entire group tried to sniffle your giggles. "You," he pointed at Bucky that stopped cackling and gave him a seducing grin. "Go to your room and get ready for a mission." Bucky stoped grinning at him.

"What? Excuse you but- I'm the victim here, between these two," He screamed pointing at you and Sharon.

"Barnes, I swear, if you don't move your ass I'll make you." That was a actually the wrong thing to say because the ex-assassin only smirked and was about to give Sam a witty comeback when he started speaking again. "And because if you do not, then you'll sleep on the couch for an entire season."

"YOU WOULDN'T!"

Sam only crossed his arms and the pinch on his brows grew deeper, seconds tick by with Yelena still eating and enjoying the spectacle. Sharon and you were containing with a lot of effort the giggles.

After a few more seconds Bucky finally broke."Fine! But don't expect me to forget your alliance with the little gremlings!"

Bucky left the kitchen and his steps could be heard all the way to the guests room he shared with the Captain.

"He's so wiped." Murmured Sharon and instantly Sam's attention was on her. The blonde went rigid.

"Now you and you," he pointed at Yelena as well "need to get information about the firm that Erik went to. Don't get caught." They shared smiles with raised brows, it was kind of insulting for Sharon and Yelena, but at the heaviness in the air when Sam's attention shifted towards them, they let it slip and abandoned the kitchen. Murmured "see yas" and "byes" left at their path.

Now with you two alone, the entire weight of the situation started to make you sweat. The implications this would have with them and your new re-gotten life.

"Why you didn't tell us? Or at least one of us?" Your gaze dropped to the kitchen counter, hands fidgeting on the cold marble. "Why is he going around asking about you?" A barely heard "i don't know" came out of your lips but even for your ears it was obvious it wasn't an entire truth.

"We're family, (Y/n). We are the only ones left and we have to trust in each other. We need to trust in each other. If not... then- if not then we're not better than before and we all know how that went."

Sam's voice never raised an octave or got lower to a threatening level. It was soft like always, with that tint of understanding even if it was hurting him knowing you hid your real motivation. That was the worst part of it, the trust that he put into his words, behind the thinking that you knew this and understood, it didn't matter that you didn't took it into practice, but the thought that he trusted in you with this ideal, that he believed in you as if you didn't just hide such an important part of your trip to them, that was what cut deep through your chest.

"Sam's right, doll." You took a quick glance at both men, Buck crunched down on the doorway, trying to strap correctly his boots, Sam taking a seat in front of you, sipping from the coffee Yelena surely didn't finish. "We made that mistake many times for us not to learn from it."

Bucky stood up and send you wink, not giving you a chance to say something. "Just think it through, it's hard letting yourself be aid by others, trust me, I would know 'bout it." You smirked at that. "But we all gotta learn somehow, right?"

"Yeah"

Sam looked at you with the hint of a smile, the conversation finally settling in with the calming presence of this two, only disturbed by the sound of your ringtone. Taking your mobile, you arched a brow at the unknown number shining from the screen.

"Who's that?" Asked Bucky.

"No idea" was your murmured response right before taking the call "Who's this?" On the other side of the line the sound of wind got your attention. The soft spoken voice of a woman was soon to greet you.

"(Y/n)?" You didn't dare to answer, her voice sounding alarms in your head, you recognised that voice, you had heard her somewhere, but... the memory just didn't come at you. "Am I talking to (Y/n/ln)?"

"That's me. Who's this?"

"My name is Karen page," your eyebrows rose and Bucky, blessed his enhanced hearing, looked at you in surprise and whispered rapidly at Sam, letting him know who exactly was calling you. "I'm a secretary at Nelson, Murdock and Page's firm, I'm calling for the recent change requested by Erik Lensherr who has come to acquire new documentation in which we will need your assistance for the fulfilment of the last procedure. Can you confirm your assistance for December 28? Or if you wish to reschedule, can you let me know of the date best suited for you?"

You stared off into the distance for almost two minutes, Sam, fearing you were having an attack, kicked your leg under the counter, making you yelp in pain. " (Y/n/L/n)?"

"Yes, yes, I'm here."

"I'll really appreciate if you could give me-"

"I'm sorry, Miss Page," you interrupted "but what exactly is the last procedure? The new- uh, new documentation?" The woman on the other side didn't hesitate when she answered.

"His will, (Y/L/N), you are to sign as the first beneficiary of Mr. Lensherr's will."

~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~

"It's not funny, Barnes."

Bucky sitting beside you on the back of the car groaned in annoyance. "C'mon, doll, it's fucking hilarious! Now all we have to do is kill the bastard."

"Ugh."

You turned your head, ignoring all the different ideas for the "Getting granpa's will" operation that Sharon, out of the good of her heart provided you with. Sam was driving in the front, the copilot seat banned from everyone, including Bucky, after some pranks that almost got all yourselves into a massive crash on the free road.

Yelena went to the her secret dungeon, where she could easily find the right people and dig further into the lives of Nelson, Murdock and Page. Every little detail that could help in case of... well... it's not that you and the soldiers were paranoids or something, it's just that every thing needs to come with a plan B.

Now you were reaching the building of the firm, a little cornered place need the river, tiny and between more bigger buildings that surely stopped the sun to reach it, but you imagined, since it's kinda new for what little information you scraped, it's obvious that it wouldn't be as big as other firms.

Sam pulled up in front of the door and shutting off the car you all headed inside.

The first glance at the short stairs was like a living nightmare for Bucky and you, flashbacks of- of a very tortuous past coming back. Still you kept climbing until a door welcomed you with the names written on the glass. "This place needs maintenance." Said Bucky.

"All this neighbourhood, you mean." You raised your eyebrows at Sam who knocked on the door, apparently very amused with his little joke. "Shut up, children, and you better behave or else no going to the park later."

Bucky's shoulders slumped and he send you a look , "Are you pretending to talk to dogs or kids?" "Bucky, shut the fuck up, will ya?" The Captain snorted and you could swear you heard someone laughing inside as well.

There was some thrashing behind the door that now the three of you heard before the door swung open revealing a pretty blonde with a soft smile and there goes your heart running, you just couldn't function in front of beautiful people, and you thanked for the first time in your entire existence that your training as a widow helped you remain stoic and gentle. "Good afternoon, I'm Karen Page, we spoke on the phone."

She extended her hand looking at you "Miss Page, I'm (Y/n/l/n) and they are Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes." Karen obviously recognised the two man standing with you, if she was scared or amazed, she didn't show, instead made you come in inmeadiatly being greeted with no other than the man from the previous photographs. "Foggy Nelson," said the blond man, shaking your hand, he was really cute and seriously you should stop ogling people.

He gave you a professional smile and you walked aside to the second lawyer standing behind the table, with his hands on a cane and that told you everything you needed to know about his condition.

He as well extended his hand and you took it, giving a firm shake "I'm Matthew Murdock, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Like being dragged by a wave at the ocean you felt your brain being turned over and thrown to the rocks, with multiple ideas, so many memories trying to resurface, hidden behind your soft "Pleasure's mine" and calm movements while taking a seat. In front of you, Matt was fidgeting with his hands, minimal gestures that no one noticed, not even you that were about to have a mental breakdown for some unknown reason.

"So," Foggy clapped his hands, getting everyone's attention. "Let's get down to business."

The lawyer started talking about the papers in front of him, signalling some to which you nodded, without paying attention and noticing this he started talking to Sam.

You didn't know what was happening, what you were feeling. This pressure in your chest and a longing that dragged you into the ocean, more into the deep waters, it was just like that day, when you were screaming internally, without voice.

The room felt too small, the air coming from the windows not enough to breath.

"Matt?" Foggy's voice didn't even faced you, but still your eyes traveled to said lawyer, sitting still, hands under the table clenching and unclenching and his eyes hidden behind those red glasses, glazed over. Foggy's mood change, not giving a single fuck that you, their new clients, were sitting right in front of them. "Matt, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

His friend blinked once, twice and suddenly he got up on his feet looking at the three of you intently for a few seconds. When his eyes found yours the turmoil inside your chest wanted to combust you alive but you tried to will it to stop. "Matthew, what is it?" Asked him Page this time.

He didn't answer, just shook his head and stormed out of the room, not even daring to look back or apologise.

The five of you were silent for a long time, that continued into and awkward laugh of Karen "Uh, heh- He, uh, he does that sometimes. Don't worry." Chancing a quick look at her you she cleared her throat. "Foggy?"

"Yeah, right, uhm... we should continue."

Bucky turned to look at you, hearing a little the change in you breathing and letting Sam handle the situation at hand. "You okay?" Your gaze found his eyes and suddenly you were back with Natalia and Yelena, three teenagers locked up on the limits of the world, surrounded by chaos and not knowing what to do, how to react. "I don't know."

[jabondemanos]

Tu nombre, Toda la vida (spanish Bruabba playlist)

Songs that remind me of them, all in spanish, old and new music; indie, salsa, rock; from Mexico to Chile and even Spain, it's all here folks!

Think of this playlist as a timeline.

Overview: (part 5 spoilers)

1-7 are about about them seperately, 1, 3, 5, 7 are Bruno's; 2,4,6 Leone's

8 is about the team, when Abbacchio joins

9 is an interlude.

10 - 16 pining basically.

17 - 20 them owning their feelings and getting together.

21 - 25 Are love songs, them being together :-)

26 - 28 are about their deaths, and love in the after life

if you want to read how i justify my song choices in more detail lol:

Singling out some songs I want to explain further

(for my own sanity)

Some of these might just be my interpretention of the song, or just how it fits to the whole thing.

1-8

1 -Romance de Mi Destino- Is about leaving an old life behind and not having stability, it talks with metaphors with ships and naval things, so it fits as Bruno left his life as a fisherman w his dad to join the mafia.

2 -Que alguien me diga- Talks about someone who can't let go of someone they no longer have in their life, basically when Abbacchio see his partner die.

3 -Pistola de Balín- about experiencing and partaking in violence at young age and not being able to run away from it. Bruno and Passione.

4 -No soy nada- Feeling like they did wrong to someone loved and not being able to face them and apologize. This song is more self-deprecating, and Abba is in this spiral.

5 -Insistencia- Basically someone young going through an existencial crisis, wondering if they'll die alone. So I think Bruno didn't get to have friends or enjoy his childhood, and this song does talk about nostalgia and death-

6 -Chuchaqui- About a drunk person who is having a bad hungover and believe they will die. Abbacchio is an alcoholic, and this song also mentions the drunk person (Abba) praying and then cursing god for letting all bad things happen, which I think he probably did

7 -La Mafia- A person who explain they are a criminal and part of the mafia. I kinda read this as Bruno explaining Abbacchio his job.

8 -El baile de los que sobran- About the injustice faced by low and middle class people, kinda about class unity (it's a protest song) I think it fits the Bucci gang, and by this point Abba is with them.

10-16

10 -11 - 14 -Loco, Ventana, Señales- Are about being in love but not being able to express it.

12 -Maquillaje- Is about someone who doesnt want to be seen without their makeup, because they don't think they are pretty enough. To me this is Abbacchio.

13 -Enamorado tuyo- Someone who is denying being in love but doing a very bad job at it, which is both of them tbh.

15 -¿Qué se siente que me gustes tanto amor?- Is about being so in love you are basically at their mercy, a very Abbacchio song if you ask me

16 -Quiero- ok so I think this is the point where they start facing their feelings sort of, the song is sort of someone being in love but dacing around it. I feel like it's drunken ramblings

17- 20

17 -Ficción- About a romantic encounter bettween two people and their fantasy becoming real. At this point something happen bettween them

18 -Diez pasos hacia ti- They are sort of starting something, but they still scared about the consequences, and the song is basically about the begining of a relationship and getting to know each other and fall in love but being cautious about it

19-20 -Yo no sé mañana, Somos algo- both are about getting together because one can't be sure what the future holds so better be together now. And yknow Bruabba basically, and by this point they start a relationship officially :-)

21 - 25

21- 22- 23 -Solo tú, Piel Canela, Procura- These three are about finding that someone who makes them happy, and how they can only think about them. The second one it about someone with brown skin and black eyes, and while none of them have black eyes, I headcanon Bruno with brown skin, so I feel like this one is about Abba to Bruno

24 -Bésame mucho- Is about asking for a kiss like it's the last chance they'll ever get. Pretty self-explanatory

25 -Hay cosas- A song about intimacy and things that will only stay between two lovers. Bruabba have that sort of relationship, only being vulnarable around each other

26-28

26 -Te esperaré- Someone waits for a person they love but isn't there anymore, that will stay on their memory, from this song comes the name of the playlist. The song doesn't really says if the other person is dead, but I think about this as when Abbacchio died.

27 -Nuestro Juramento- a promise between to people, to love each other until the day they die, and even after death. Welp, this song always makes me emotional. It's their song guys, literally them.

28 -Si nos dejan- If they are allowed, they would love each other forever, they still got a chance of happiness, in heaven. So Bruabba reunites after death and get to spend eternity together, they reincarnate or maybe on the reset they get a second chance to meet again :-)

💃💃💃 let me know if you read this whole thing I hope you like it and yeah I know its maybe too much overthinking for just some dumb playlist but I I truly enjoy this process

[sayuricorner]

Miraculous Ladybug salt x Jojo’s bizarre adventure: “Biodad!Jonathan Joestar” AU

Headcanons part 1

Warning: English is not my first language so sorry if it’s confusing.

Warning 2: This AU content salt don’t like don’t read!

Warning 3: For the Jojo character’s palettes colors I use the anime palette colors as reference.

If you want to use this AU you can! just credite and tag me in return please! :)

----------------------------

So, in many ML biodad AUs Marinette’s bio dad is most of the time someone like Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, but how about:

                                 Biodad! Jonathan Joestar AU

I mean when you think about it both Marinette and Jonathan are alike in looks and personnality!

Appearance:

-Both got blue hair

-Both got light blue eyes

Personnality:

-Both are kind souls

-Both are selfless and think about others before themself most of the time

-Both got a strong sense of justice

-Both are very smart

-Both are combative when needed

-Both don’t hesitate to put themself in danger to protect others

-Both can over-react when they’re carried away by their emotions

And just imagine the story possibilities with this AU!

“But Sayuri! Jonathan Joestar is from the Victorian aera and Marinette is born in the french modern aera how Jonathan would be Marinette’s bio dad in this AU?”

Well the same way which make Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel Jonathan’s kids:

Yep! In this AU Marinette is another child born from Dio’s one night stands!

Now I know that make Marinette Dio’s daughter too and I know Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel are mostly know as Dio’s children but to be honest I consider them more as Jonathan’s kids than as Dio’s because honnestly outside of the head the rest of the body is Jonathan’s.

How Marinette’s conception happen then? Well here’s how:

Years before Marinette’s birth, a young adult Sabine Cheng was on a trip in Egypt, she meet Dio in a bar one night, he seduced her and they got a one night stand, with Dio having the intention to suck Sabine’s blood after, but at one Dio got a brutal crisis.

Normally anyone would get afraid and run away but instead Sabine, being the kind person she was, had done all she can to calm down Dio with all the tenderness she can give. And without being aware of it this actually saved her life.

After helping Dio to calm down both fall asleep, Dio woke up later in night while Sabine was still asleep.

Remembering the warm and familiar kind feeling he experienced during his “episode”, a feeling he didn’t feel for a very long time, he decided to spare Sabine under the pretext he wasn’t in the mood to suck her blood anymore before living to go back to his mansion.

In the morning Sabine wake up only to notice Dio left and never see him again after that night, she go on with her trip and when she go back to France she found out she was pregnant.

She decided to keep the baby, times later she meet and fall in love with Tom Dupain, both end up marrying to each other and Tom adopt Marinette and became legally her father.

The Dupain-Cheng couple also decided to give her a middle name “Joanne” in memory of one of Tom’s aunts with who he was close, making her full name “Marinette Joanne Dupain-Cheng”

Does that mean Marinette in this AU had the Joestar birthmark? Yep, she does! And she also got the Joestar genes when it’s come to body shape: as a kid she look like a shrimp but when she will be older she will get rather tall and will got more muscules to her peers’s surprise.

Did she had a stand in this AU? Yes!

Her stand is called [Viva la vida], a reference to the Coldplay’s song, this stand had the power to create miracles like making plants grow, healing illness and bad injures or being a big source of luck she also had a big affinity with plants and animals. But her powers had limits for example while her miracles allow her to bring back someone to life it’s only possible if the dead person isn’t dead for a too long time and make a powerfull miracle drain Marinette energy and she end up knocked out for a time.

When Marinette is Ladybug, [Viva la vida]’s miracles powers are stronger.

[Viva la vida] isn’t a stand know for her strengh but she’s very fast which allow her to make a lot of punches and kicks at the same time.

Stand’s appearance: [Viva la vida] is an humanoid stand with beetle features, her color schemes are black white and pink, she had beetle wings, big rond blue non-reflective eyes and her head is rond with two anthenas and is a head smaller than Marinette.

But if [Viva la vida] is a cute stand when Marinette is a civil, when the young girl took her Ladybug form, her stand took a more imposing and majesting appearance, she became taller, more muscular, her eyes smaller and almond shaped, her whole body get more armors features and her colors scheme change to black and red with black dots and she emit a rather intimidating aura.

Stand’s behavior: [Viva la vida] is a very expressive stand and very sentient and is a friendly and playfull stand. She’s very curious by nature and had the habit to examin in curiosity when Marinette meet new people or stands. Her being very sentient allow her to sometimes act as a conscience to Marinette.

She also love to eat cookies baked by Marinette.

When Marinette is Ladybug, [Viva la vida] is more serious and a more combative behavior.

Stand’s cry: “Mira!” a reference to “miraculous” and to the word miracle.

AU additional details:

-Class salt

-Bustier salt/bad teacher Bustier

-Adrien salt or Adrien sugar(it’s up to whoever use this AU)

-Lila salt

-Chloe redemption

-Class redemption, a part having a redemption or none of them having a redemption(you choose)

-Permanent miraculous user Luka

-Permanent miraculous user Kagami

-Stand user Luka

-Not everyone die AU/temporary death AU: if some Jojo characters like the Pillarmen, Caesar, Kakoyin, Avdol and Iggy are alive but others like Buccellatti, Abbacchio, Narancia and La Squadra are still dead but will not stay dead(You’ll see).

-Good father Jotaro

-Marinette's closed friends/loved ones calling her "Jojo" in reference to her middle name "Joanne"

-Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel adopted by the Dupain-Cheng

-Protective siblings Donatello, Giorno, Rikiel and Ungalo

-Marinette being the baby sister of all Jonathan’s and Dio’s kids

-[Viva la vida] being a cute stand

-Marinette, Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel not acknowledging Dio as their dad

-Protective Joestar family

-Jonadad

-Good parents Sabine and Tom Dupain-Cheng

-Permanent miraculous users Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel

-Badass Marinette

-Scientist Gina Dupain at Speedwagon Foundation

-Diavolo and Doppio getting differents boddies

-Akumatised Marinette with her stand being corrupted and turned into a sentimonster.(You’ll see! ;) )

-Temporary Ladybug!Giorno (You’ll see! ;) )

-Diavolo still stuck in the death loop(’cause it’s only canon if Diavolo die!)

-The Pillarmen knowing about the miraculous

-Shipping:You decide the ship you want just not Adrinette please

Arcs for this AU:

The bizarre origins arc:

This arc is about the origins of Marinette’s birth, her growing up and getting a stand, becoming Ladybug and learning to accomplish her duties as Ladybug while learning to control and use her stand and meeting others stand users.(ex: Luka)

The bizarre USA adventures arc:

Take place times after Lila’s return, the liar keep her word and little by little Marinette’s friends turned their back on her and the fights against the akumas are always very hard to not say harder especially ever since she became the guardian.

Seeing their daughter’s moral so down Sabine and Tom decide to send Marinette to Gina to the USA for summer break. After making sure to had Kaalki with her to teleport back to Paris when an akuma attack, Marinette go on a trip to the USA with her grandmother.

But what should have been a normal vacation trip will take a bizarre turn when Marinette will learn about Gina’s job at the mysterious Speedwagon Foundation which will lead to a meeting with four ancients Aztec gods of fitness, getting informations about stands and her mysterious lineage and a meeting with three american unknow brothers.

(In this AU the Pillarmen aren’t dead after Battle Tendency but they’re detained by the Speedwagon Foundation)

The bizarre mass resurection mystery arc:

A lot of things happened in Marinette’s life, things she didn’t expected whatever in good or bad.

Finding out about her grandmother’s job at the Speedwagon Foundation, learning more about her stand, finding about the existence of three brothers and having said newfound brothers being adopted by her parents, her friends isolating her thank to Lila and learning she by Bustier she and Chloe were banned from the class field trip...

So she decided with to create with other classmates from the school a trip club and after some successful fundraisers the club get a trip to Italy.

And since Hawkmoth seemed to not have attacked for a time there isn’t any problems to go on that trip.

In Italy, on Giorno’s side the part 5 events happen just like in canon while on Marinette’s side she and the trip club get a good time in Italy until a particuliary violent stand user akuma attack the country. He was akumatised by Hawkmoth ‘cause Gabriel Agreste was on a business trip in Italy and thought creating a akuma in the country would attract Ladybug and Chat Noir and give him an advantage since the akuma attack in a unfamiliar place.

The fight was very hard but in the end Marinette and her allies were able to beat the akuma and with her miraculous powers combined with her stand powers she revert any damage... it’s even worked for damage/injuries/death by stands leaving Marinette knocked out for a time since she use a lot of energy while using her stand’s miracle powers.

On Giorno’s side after he beat Diavolo and became the boss it was noticed that Buccelatti, Narancia, Abbacchio, the whole La Squadra were bring back to life.

Even Doppio was back but in a boddy of his own.

Everyone thought at first this was the work of [Gold experience requiem] but it was reveiled later this was the work of another stand which will put Giorno, his gang and even Jotaro with the SWF on a big infestigation which will lead them to the stand user resposible for this mystery and unknowly to them and to Marinette to one big bizarre family reunion.

The bizarre family arc:

With everything which happened in Italy, Marinette not only had to deal with Lila, Hawkmoth, the akumas and her guardian duties but also with the discovery of an extended families and horrible and disturbing informations about “one of her bio fathers”.

And one day Lila took things too far leading Marinette to unleash all her frustration, stress and anger making her akumatised and it will be up to Giorno as a temporary Ladybug holder, her true friends and her family to saved her from herself and from Hawkmoth’s influence.

But the task will be hard with not only Marinette being akumatised but also with her stand [Viva la vida] having being unconsciously corrupted by Mayura while trying to corrupt Marinette turning her into a sentimonster.

The bizarre final showdown arc:

A alliance between Hawkmoth and a mysterious priest will lead the miraculous villain to his ultimate plan by helping the priest to resurect a powerful man, a man infamous for being a curse to the Joestar family and to the world, with the promise to achieve Heaven and to gain a power which will allow Hawkmoth to do all he want.

It will be up to Marinette, her friends, allies and her new found family to put an end to Hawkmoth once for all and to beat this priest before the worst happen with the resurection of the infamous Dio.

But bizarre chains of events will lead to another resurection, the resurection of a man very well know by the Joestar family and who’s tightly connected to Marinette, Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel.

[big-cheesy-productions]

The Loose Ends

Pathfinder Pirate Campaign Character Reflection

Session 16

Content Warnings: Putting this at the top this time because this was a heavy session. This character reflection explores the thoughts of a character who is dying. Themes of death, dying, and grief are present throughout. Fortunately, there is a happy ending.

Context: After being tossed from the ship and fighting the aboleth, the party was pulled aboard and the worst of it seemed to be over, until Yunma, Edward, and Jhara collapsed, their skin drying and cracking, and getting worse and worse by the hour. No regular healing or medicine seemed to reverse it. It was some effect of aboleth, and no one knew what to do. As the three of them lay dying, they shared what they believed would be their last words, as Piper fought and begged and bargained to try to save them, to no avail. Yunma, however, sharing a link with his twin sister Esme, was able to commune with her and she had a key piece of information: they needed a curse-breaker. Quite literally at the last moment possible, Vida, the ship’s quartermaster was able to cast remove curse over them, and after several days of recovery, Jhara, Edward, and Yunma finally awoke.

~

The captain was a bad liar. 

When Monk revived me on the deck, and I saw Piper and Yunma pulled aboard, I thought the worst of it was over. I tried to help the other wounded, but I could no longer stand. I collapsed, as did Edward. It was dire, whatever this was. We were fading and fading fast.

I think of my crew. Being away from them was like missing a limb, a whole part of me. We were one, broken into pieces and scattered. They are lost and I will never find them, never hear their voices or feel their embraces. 

I think of this crew, still new and strange, but I found my place within it. They visit our bedsides often, Vida, Zula, Monk, and even the Captain. They care, even in the short time we’ve known them. If I had tears to spare, I might shed them. I had them all wrong. In my grief I was bitter, but they are a family like Vida said, and Zula and Monk are my friends, and they would make us family too. They are trying to save us, but I don’t know if they can.

I think of Yunma, fresh to the world outside his village, with only a taste of the wonders it held. This wasn’t how it should be. This wasn’t what this life was meant to be like. He has a duty, he couldn’t fail it like this. I think of his sister and I think of mine. What must it feel like, to lose your half with a link like he has? What would Esme feel? Would she not know until she slept and he did not appear? What would Unerri think if I never came home again?

I think of her, Uni, and Mamá, too. I’ll never come home again, to see the beaches and feel the soft sand, to sit at Papá’s grave. I haven’t been home in years. Shame and guilt kept me away. And now they’ll never know the truth. Or they will and know I haven’t been honest. Will they hate me even more than I’m sure they already do?

I think of Edward. I didn’t expect him. It was understated, quiet. He had become my land when I was drowning and I didn’t even realize. He had pulled me along and became a safe harbor in a storm. At the very least, I try to take comfort in the fact that we will enter the unknown together.

I think of those I may meet beyond the sea, the faces that may wait for me. I’m not religious, but I hope they’re there. Dhul, Kohaku, Zelfaen, Rali, Papá. I hope they’re there to greet us and guide us to whatever awaits.

But most of all, most of all I think of Piper. The thought of us leaving her here alone is more debilitating than the curse. That thought may kill me first. I didn’t care about the pain, the cracking skin, the burning. I took her hand and I held it tight. She deserved everything. I offered her the Watch, my crew, my family. Any of them to look out for her. She would not be alone. I wouldn’t allow it. Kaela said it takes a wild amount of will to keep a spirit bound to this world, and this might be enough to keep me here after my body is gone.

With Kaela holding my one hand and Piper holding the other, I drift off, not knowing what awaits when the dark takes me. I do not dream.

When I wake, for a moment I think I must have died. I do not hurt anymore. The pain is gone. And then a mass of hair is in my face, and arms are constricting around me. It is Piper, and I am alive, and I am holding her, and Edward is here and alive, and Yunma is here and alive, and we are alive. By some miracle- no, by Yunma’s sister and Vida’s magic, we made it. The crew is happy to see us too and the tears I couldn’t shed earlier fall now, and I couldn’t stop them even if I wanted to. 

And finally, a sight almost as beautiful as my friends with healed bodies and bright faces fills the horizon: Zaragoza.

~

There was lots of emotion this session, but fortunately we all made it through! Feel free to send me any questions!

[cristinardvaya]

Lo siento, tengo que escribir esto porque en mi cerebro tiene sentido y me gusta mucho

I'm sorry, I have to write this because it makes sense in my brain and I like it a lot

Hay una canción que descubrí hace poco que me recuerda a Spones, en la película III En busca de Spock

There's a song I discovered not so long ago that reminds me of Spones, in the film III The search for Spock

Se titula Desde mi cielo

It's entitled Desde mi cielo (From my heaven)

Link to the song (I appreciate if you just listen to it, no need to ship Spones, it's beautiful)

Es una canción de Mägo de Oz (metal). Es una balada (me encantan las baladas) que canta alguien (en mi mente Spock), que acaba de morir. Dice que estaba enamorado cuando vivía, pero nunca se atrevió a decírselo a quien amaba (en este caso Bones). Cuando canta se dirige a aquellos con quienes vivía (la tripulación del Enterprise) en algunos versos, y en la inmensa mayoría a aquella persona especial (Bones)

It's a song by Mägo de Oz (metal). It's a ballad (I love ballads) sung by someone (in my mind Spock), who has just died. He says he was in love when he was alive, but never dared to tell the one he loved (in this case Bones). When he sings he addresses those he lived with (the crew of the Enterprise) in some verses, and in the vast majority to that special person (Bones)

El título Desde mi cielo claramente refleja que su cielo es distinto al que normalmente se piensa. Cielo se entiende al lugar donde se va cuando se muere en el cristianismo, donde te espera Dios. Pero su cielo es distinto. Su cielo es la mente de McCoy. Desde allí les cuida y guía. Desde allí, dirige esta canción, les habla, sobre todo a Bones.

The title From my Heaven clearly reflects that his heaven is different from what is normally thought of. Heaven is understood as the place where you go when you die in Christianity, where God awaits you. But his heaven is different. His heaven is McCoy's mind. From there he watches over them and guides them. From there, he directs this song, he speaks to them, especially to Bones.

I'm going to translate into English the parts I like the most. I have to say that the song won me over from the melody of the beginning with the piano, and every time I listen to it (especially that same melody later in the song but now with an electric guitar), it breaks my heart. It's an intentionally sad song and I can feel it (even more if you think about Spock's death and the rest of the crew suffering his loss) 🥺

Voy a traducir al inglés las partes que más me gustan. He de decir que la canción me ganó desde la melodía del principio con el piano, y cada vez que la escucho (especialmente esa misma melodía más adelante en la canción pero ahora con una guitarra eléctrica), me parte el corazón. Es una canción intencionadamente triste y yo lo puedo sentir (más aún si piensas en la muerte de Spock y al resto de la tripulación sufriendo su pérdida) 🥺

To the crew:

Ahora que está todo en silencio

Y que la calma me besa el corazón

Os quiero decir adiós

Porque ha llegado la hora

De que andéis el camino ya sin mí

Hay tanto por lo que vivir

Now that all is silent

And calm kisses my heart

I want to say goodbye

Because the time has come

For you to walk the road without me

There is so much to live for

To McCoy:

Pero, mi vida, yo nunca podré olvidarte

Y solo el viento sabe lo que has sufrido por amarme

Hay tantas cosas que nunca te dije en vida

Que eres todo cuanto amo

Y ahora que ya no estoy junto a ti

Te cuidaré desde aquí

But, my dear, I can never forget you

And only the wind knows what you've suffered for loving me

There are so many things I never told you in life

That you're all that I love

And now that I'm no longer with you

I'll watch over you from here

To the crew:

Sé que la culpa os acosa

Y os susurra al oído: "pude hacer más"

No hay nada que reprochar

I know that guilt haunts you

And whispers in your ear: "I could have done more"

There is nothing to reproach

Y cuando todos los instrumentos están sonando al final, de repente todo para y quien canta dice:

Yo nunca os olvidaré

And when all the instruments are being played at the end, everything stops and who is singing says:

I'll never forget you (in plural)

🥺😭