#(also i know how to cook some southern italian well it's like the only decent thing my dad's side taught me lol

[roseband]

oh my god i watched the eric nam episode of chrissy and dave dine out and like ...i didn't read the description first

but it was a korean-jewish fusion restaurant and the poor man's face when being told what matzoh was for the soup??? lol

but also there is no original idea, cuz my fiance has tried to get me to make matzoh balls to put into chinese stews lol

i wanna see if i can rip the episode to make gifs omg

[aikoiya]

LoZ - Hyrulean Cultural Aesthetics

Important to note, Hylians, Sheikah, Gerudo, & Lupáns are all considered human.

Those with pointed ears are referred to as Cuspan & those without are called Ovelian.

Overall Cultural Influences:

Central Hyrule & Hylians specifically = Medieval Germanic & Arthurian English with some variation depending on location. All Hylian towns will likely have a little bit of this in them.

Ovelians = Rural, small town, down home, farmer, tough as nails, survivor, rough around the edges, traditional, conservative, but still rebellious, & generally very good-hearted. That means they are the rednecks, the cowboys, the military men, the American Southerners, the Vikings, & the Celts kind of characters. You're salt of the earth types. At least in feel, though not necessarily in culture. It's because of this that humans generally get along well with Gorons. Either way, humans stick mostly to the agricultural & ranching settlements for the most part.

Zora = Hard to tell as they generally don't wear clothing, but they do wear a lot of jewelry. If I had to give them clothes, I'd definitely say they'd be something flowy. Possibly Roman or Greek in fashion to go with the water theme? As for sensibilities, maybe a bit of French Rococo. I also get the impression that the Zora's Domain is actually divided into 2 levels: the Upper Domain & the Lower Domain. The Upper Domain is what we see in the games & consists of the commercial district & palace. The Lower Domain is entirely underwater & is where the Zora actually live. The reason we don't see it is because Link can't dive.

Rito = Northern Native American. Aldean specifically. Maybe a bit of Latin American.

Goron = A mix of Maori (Polynesian), African, Dwarven, & maybe a bit of Old West mining town, though it's hard to tell for certain as they generally don't wear clothing. At the same time, their general architecture seems to have a Town of Bedrock-type feel to it. Definitely something with a decent source of friendly machismo (not what is considered "toxic masculinity;" actual machismo). Something masculine & tribal, but also community oriented & friendly.

Gerudo = Egyptian/Middle Eastern Amazons with some Orc influence. Possibly with some hints of Hindu too. At least as far as fashion goes.

Korok/Kokiri = If Peter Pan & the Lost Boys were Hobbits.

Twili = Possibly Scandanavian? Also Chinese with some Japanese influences.

Mogma = They seem to be Brooklyn-ish. Maybe even a bit of an Italian-American Mob feel, but more so in the "friendly gangster" way. So, I'm seeing some Bensonhurst influences, which is a specifically Italian-American borough within Brooklyn, I believe. Maybe even a bit of New York Jewish? Like, they come across as being Italian mafia adjacent, but only in so much as the accent, the attitude, & family-oriented organization. Sort of an "it takes a village" & "we take care of our own" type of mentality. Not in any way actually mafia though & certainly not in the romanticized view of gangsters as I don't actually see the Mogmas being the types to actually commit crimes on the reg. And despite being avid treasure-hunters, they seem to have a general culture of altruistic generosity. By that, I mean that their love language is gift-giving.

Yeti = Norse Viking.

Minish = Borrowers.

Anouki = Inuit.

Lokomo = Possibly Greek?

Zonai = Mesoamerican.

*Búralupán = Gaelic, Celtic, & Nordic. (This is a race I made up, if you wanna know more, go to Wolf Link & the Lupán Race.)

Smaller Settlements:

Hateno = I'm getting Gaelic Scottish farming town. Also maybe a bit of Spain, Italy, & Greece. Mostly inhabited by humans, both Cuspan & Ovelian.

Kakariko = Japanese with maybe a touch of American Old West. While primarily Japanese, there's also some definite South Korean influences. Especially in their cooking.

Mabe = Rustic dairy ranching town vibes because I'm putting Lon Lon Ranch there. Based on how AoC & LA's Mabe was designed, their roofing is colorful terracotta tile & generally has ivy & such growing on their homes, so maybe Colonial Spanish. Mostly inhabited by humans.

Goponga = I'm getting rural Luisiana Bayou vibes, most likely due to it being located in a swamp. So, primarily Cajun, French, & Colonial Spanish with some Zora inspiration maybe. Mostly inhabited by humans & Zora.

Deya = Not sure yet, but I'm giving them a vineyard, peach orchard, & making them use them to make moscato, so maybe an old Tuscany winery & fishing village? Mostly inhabited by humans. From what we see in the games, it was actually the biggest settlement in Hyrule besides Castle Town, so it could've been a full-on town or city.

Ordon = Has a rural ranching feel & might be inspired by a southern agricultural town in Italy called Ordona. So, maybe rural Italy with American South mannerisms & sensibilities. Culturally, though, I get Gaelic Irish vibes. It might be the smials… Also, maybe a little bit of Welsh too. Either way, it's mostly inhabited by Ovelians & Lupáns (more Ovelian than Lupáns) with the occasional Hylian, Sheikah, & 1 or 2 Gerudo. (For more of their overall culture, go to Ordonian Culture & Ordon Cooking Culture.)

Lurelin = Rural Hawaiian fishing village. Maybe a little bit of Caribbean & Okinawan? With a little bit of Mesoamerican mixed in due to Zonai influence from the nearby ruins.

Ealiyah = Tibetan-flavored Gerudo farming & brewing town. Maybe a little bit of Russian & hints of Norse too? Also, interior decoration is eclectic & cluttered but cozy & colorful in a vibrant, rustic Bohemian sort of way. There are also some influences from humans, including Ovelians, Hylians, Lupàns, & even Sheikah to a degree as several of each race lives there too (all men), but overall, the culture remains mostly that Tibetan-Gerudo sort of style. They do a lot of weaving & sewing as well as dying. (This is a town I made up, for more on its culture & history, go to Ealiyah Town & the Highlands Gerudo.)

- Hànmalàn Hamlet = A small majority Upper Middle Eastern/Southeast Asian-flavored Gerudo settlement in the Faron Jungle with some Lurelinites & a number of Sheikah living there as well. Located in Damel Forest.

Tabantha Village = Norse with Rito, Yeti, & Lupán inspiration. So, old Norse Viking, Aldean, Celtic, & Gaelic with a Russian & Welsh accent. They use a lot of furs in their clothing. Mostly inhabited by Ovelians, Hylians, Rito, Yeti, & Lupán.

Shadow Hamlet = Dwarven possibly, with Goron inspiration. So, very masculine. Maybe a bit of Old Western Mining Town. A mix of Gorons, Hylians, & Ovelians tend to live here.

Koholint Domain = This is on the Koholina Archipelago, which Eventide Island is the smallest island of & will eventually become a fishing & port town. In-world, it has influence from Zora, Rito, & Lurelin. But, from a real world perspective, it's mostly Polynesian, coastal Native American, & coastal Hindu with some ancient coastal Greco-Roman (even Atlantis-like) influence for the underwater sections of the settlement. As well as in their formal fashion. There would likely be a tiny bit of Carribean & Okinawan influence in there too. The population is made up of Euryhaline Zora (able to survive in both salt & fresh water), Coastal Rito, & Lurelin humans. And, much like with how I think the Zora's Domain is built, the settlement's commercial district is on land, while the Zora residential area is underwater. The Rito & human residences, as well as the Cheiftain's home, are also on land. (For more on the specifics of this, go to Euryhaline Zora & Coastal Rito Port Town.)

Gatepost, Outpost, & East Post = These are all a package deal. These are mostly military towns, so that'll definitely factor in. They are positioned in such a way as to protect Oldcastle. Mostly inhabited by Hyrulean Humans, but with smatterings of the other races too.

Oldcastle = The site of OoT's Castle Town, a.k.a. the Great Plateau, so there'll be some DEEP historical significance going on. As such, it's mostly Medieval Germanic & Arthurian English. Mostly inhabited by Hyrulean Humans.

LoZ Cultural Masterlist

[estrellami-1]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Thanks @nburkhardt!! ❤️

1. Are you named after anyone? No? I don’t think so at least

2. When was the last time you cried? Well I laughed to the point of tears about 2 hours ago… other than that… I legitimately Do Not Know. I don’t cry a whole bunch. Just kinda tend to explode when it all gets to be too much 🙃

3. Do you have kids? I don’t have any of my own lol, not yet, but I nanny an adorable one-year-old and a slightly cantankerous three-year-old.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Pshh, what, me? No, never! How dare you assume such a thing.

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Ballet when I was 3. Other than that nothing 😂

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Honestly it changes from person to person. The Chicken Express employee? Their pink & black hair. A manchild in front of me at Walmart? The fact that he was wearing a belt yet if he hadn’t been wearing underwear (red) I would’ve been able to see his asshole. (Some people, I swear to God.)

7. What’s your eye color? Brown 🤎

8. Scary movies or happy endings? I hate scary movies, honestly. Happy endings all the way!

9. Any special talents? I don’t think so? I’m kinda a jack of all trades, master of none lol. Though I am a pretty decent shot with a rifle even though I’ve only been to the range once. That’s nice. I was definitely channeling my inner Winter Soldier/Black Widow. 😂 and I can make a mean steak! Honestly I cook a FEAST for my family (6 of us) every time I make steak lol. I do potatoes, peppers, onions, garlic, spinach, and cherry tomatoes too. (The garlic, spinach & cherry tomatoes are thrown into the pan I used for the steaks. It’s heavenly.)

10. Where were you born? Texas, born ‘n’ raised, y’all! I don’t have a southern accent. I started saying ‘y’all’ ironically and I regret it because it’s now part of my daily speech. Actually my family is from Spain and Argentina, with quite a bit of Italian mixed in. I don’t know what that means, accent-wise, but three years ago the Walmart pharmacist complimented my pronunciation and I will never forget that.

11. What are your hobbies? Cooking, reading, writing, playing music, crocheting, sewing… essentially any form of art that you won’t find in a museum 😅 I’m no good at any of that. I also like dancing, though I don’t do it enough to call it a hobby, I think.

12. Do you have pets?

His name is Gus ❤️ (technically he’s my sister’s but we’re ignoring that since we all live in the same house.) technically she also has a fish and 2 Guinea pigs but Gus is mostly all of ours.

13. How tall are you? I like to say I’m 5’ 1” on a good day. 😂

14. Favorite subject in school? Well I’m an English major so… 😂

15. Dream job? Christ I dunno. Scrolling Tumblr all day? Can I just get paid for this? Because that would be fantastic. Thanks, y’all.

This was a lot of fun! Tagging @madigoround @thatonegreyghost @ghosttotheparty @onearmedlegend @justforthedead89 @every-aj-needs-an-angel @mickalaem @ilovecupcakesandtea @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @artiststarme @piratefishmama and whoever else wants to do it! ❤️ (shhh ignore the fact I didn’t tag 15)

[underimagines]

Let's talk about headcanons about Food

Now, Mod Sync here is a decent enough cook. Put a recipe in front of me and I’ll be able to cook almost anything, and I can cook some things from just memory. I was making omelettes and looking up recipes and I wondered “What about the Undertale cast? What do they eat outside the game?” So, here are some things I’ve thought up about the main four!

If anyone remembers the Anniversary Q&A that happened (oh, who am I kidding, of course you guys do), then we know some things about that already. HOWEVER, I’m only going to partially use this info here. These are headcanons after all, so I don’t have to quite follow canon. 

Now, if you wish to continue, I shall leave these under a Read more, because this is gonna get wordy and also for you guys who are avoiding food for whatever reason. Also will include some other AUs.

Undertale Cast

Sans, without a doubt, loves anything greasy and fried. Pub food in partcular; burgers and fries are his go-to faves obviously, but also cheese sticks, stuffed potato skins, fried pickled, and so on. Hot pockets and mini pizza bites become a staple in his diet once on the surface. Anything he can pop in the microwave real quick. Also, mac and cheese with all the ketchup.

On the healthier side of things; He’s also very fond of anything with a large amount of tomatoes. Tomato soup with grilled cheese, sun dried Tomato slices, and many, many Italian dishes, though Papyrus has to sort of make him eat it. Except V8 juice. That shit is nasty.

Cooking-wise, he’s decent. He can make a number of different quiche by heart, and anything simple. He’ll need a recipe for anything else, and if it get’s too complicated, he’ll opt-out. Too lazy for anything fancy, leave that to his bro.

Papyrus is head of the kitchen in the Bros’ house. Strangely (or not so much) though, he’s the opposite of Sans; Paps is perfectly capable of making beautiful, complex dishes you’d see at a five-star restaurant. He likes the challenge. He could easily make Boeuf Bourguignon, Coq Au Vin, Backed Alaska, Curry from scratch, etc. But, when it comes to simpler things like Spaghetti, he’s thrown off. In his head, it’s too simple, so he adds things that the recipe doesn’t call for, thinking it will be better like his more complex ones. But…. yeah, the things he adds aren’t always even edible in general.

At the same time, he’s very fond of simple dishes. His favorite food is Oatmeal, an extremely simple dish to make for most. He has a cheese sandwich and an apple for lunch. Maybe he likes these because they’re so hard for him to make, like complex dishes are to normal people. I’d garner that the quiche Sans makes was another thing Paps favored but couldn’t make, so Sans made it for him sometimes. 

Aside from Italian, Paps would like fruit salad or salads in general, yogurt parfaits, cheese omelettes; simple, healthy things. He hates greasy foods, but he’s not above taking candy from the Inn lady, so he’s definitely got at least an ‘All things in moderation’ mentality.

Undyne is an odd ball here. We know that, similar to Sans, she’s fond of greasy foods, a call noting that she likes Grillby’s cheese fries. She also has soda and hot chocolate as choices when you hang out with her. It’s not a far stretch to say Undyne likes junk food. However, as an apparent fitness nut -stemming from needing to stay strong as Captain of the Guard- I’m sure Undyne knows that too much junk food is bad for her. However, there is one thing I can garner off her personality and one particular physical trait of hers that can tell me about what she might eat: her teeth. 

Undyne’s teeth are pointed. Meaning her teeth are sharp. I would go as far as saying that if Undyne is any particular kind of fish, it’s a Piranha. And what do Piranha like? Meat. Undyne, without a doubt, would love meat and grilling. Anything at all. Fish, Chicken, Hotdogs, Veggies, Kabobs, anything she can stick on a grill. 

Seafood is another thing entirely. I’d think seafood is more on the side of comfort food for her. Clam chowder in particular. It stems from a headcanon of mine about Undyne’s family, I’ll talk about it later if you guys want. Sushi is definitely a thing she can get behind, though may take a bit for her to build up to Sashimi.

Tea was another thing in the choices at your hang out. It stemmed from her time while training with Asgore, and she keeps some around. I think she drinks it when she’s stressed. It helps her relax and think.

Alphys is another junk food lover, but only because she’s busy with other things and doesn’t have the time to cook. Cup Ramen is her go-to, but she’s got some other stuff stored away. Finger things she can eat with one hand and type with the other. On the surface, Undyne gets her to start eating grapes or trail mix instead. 

On actual cooked foods, she’s fond of anything hearty; stews and thick soups, stir-fry, and anything served in a skillet. Also, of course she’s into oriental food. The first time she tries REAL ramen, she’s in heaven. She loves noodle dishes and once again, soups. Oddly, she has an extremely high spice tolerance, easily popping whole habaneros an a snack. Undyne refuses to kiss her after she has been.

Alphys herself is fairly decent at cooking. She learns to make a number of Japanese dishes once on the surface; onigiri, bento boxes, and her own sushi and ramen.

(I haven’t come up with any more than the skelebros of other AUs at the moment. Might do another post at a later date about with other characters if it is wanted.)

Underfell Skelebros

Sans, again, loves greasy pub food. He loves anything with a kick too. Jalapeño bites and pepper jack cheese are a constant. He also loves foods with layers or can have lots of toppings; pizzas with everything on them, subs and hotdogs piled high, and obviously his bro’s lasagna. (Don’t let him near a Cincinnati three-way, you will never hear the end of all the perverse jokes if you do.) He’s also fond of Cajun and Creole cooking.

On actual food, one of the few leafy greens Papyrus can get Sans to eat that he likes are Mustard greens, so more often than not, Paps will sauté some up as a side to whatever he’s cooked to get Sans to eat something relatively healthy. Otherwise, it’s limited to whatever Paps can sneak into a dish. Strangely, Sans is also fond of Southern style Sweet tea, even though he doesn’t care for sweet things otherwise.

Sans is an ok cook, but prefers not to if he doesn’t have to. If it isn’t microwaveable, it better be simple, or he’s gonna need a lot of motivation to make anything with more than 4 steps.

Papyrus is a literal Master Chef. He’d put Gorden Ramsey to shame. Paps can take almost anything and make it taste good. It’s the reason Sans eats anything healthy at all. Unlike UT!Paps, he can actually cook simple things too. It’s something besides his strength that he prides himself in.

On his own diet, he does love his lasagna, but also anything you can make in a casserole dish. He’s not overly picky, aside from keeping his own food to a tolerable spice level unlike his brother, but he does favor things that can last for a while and be reheated. In a world like Underfell, sometimes there are days were it’s just not safe to go out, so having a lot of leftovers can be helpful when stuck inside. So casseroles, stews, anything that can sit in the fridge and not taste bad after a day or two.

On another note, he’s fond of breads and baked goods. He makes some hella good garlic bread, and always has dinner rolls or biscuits or whatever ready as a side. Just don’t tell Sans how much he loves Monkey Bread, it’s one of the extreme few things he indulges in.

Underswap Skelebros

Sans our little taco man. Yes, he loves Mexican food. No, it’s not the only thing he cooks. No, his food isn’t that bad. He has a tendency of burning things because he gets distracted, but he knows better than to put inedible things in his food. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get a little… creative with his cooking, but at least they’re all things that are supposed to be edible.

Through his love of Mexican food, he has a decent spice tolerance, and, though Tacos are his fave, he’s very fond of rice dishes as well. And black bean soup. He makes some fine salsa and guacamole from scratch too.

On the other hand, he’s not really picky. He’ll try anything once. He’s pretty fond of most any beef and chicken dishes. Though Paps has forbidden him from straight sugar and coffee, Sans can wip up some damn good sweets, like Mexican brownies and chocolate filled Churros. At least that way, Paps won’t drink straight honey while still getting his sugar fix.

Papyrus, on the other hand, is practically a sugar addict. He loooooves everything sweet. Candy, pastries, ice cream, anything with sugar. He’s Muffet’s taste tester if she’s making something new. Aside from honey, he’s particularly fond of chocolate in general and fruit fillings.

On the normal food side, he’s not as fond of spicy things as Sans, so Sans usually holds back on Pap’s food when it comes to spice. He also isn’t fond of complicated dishes unless it’s sweets. He likes simple things; sandwiches, salads, rice, anything you can throw together real quick or pop in the microwave. It’s not that he won’t eat healthy, it’s just it tends to be disproportionate to the amount of sweets he eats.

This also shows in his cooking. If it isn’t simple, he’s gonna have trouble. He’s not bad, he just gets a little nervous and that can lead to being a little clumsy. He’d rather Sans do the cooking, or at least keep an eye on things if it’s something he needs a recipe for.

[ohgoditsamy]

Am I a clean or messy person? Relatively clean Am I a tea or coffee person? Tea all the way! Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Neither Am I afraid of heights? Not really Am I allergic to anything? I hope not Am I an early bird or a night owl? Definitely a night owl Am I an extrovert or introvert? Introvert Am I an innie or an outie? Innie Am I easily embarrassed? Definitely Am I in a relationship? Yup! Am I left or right handed? Leftie! Am I much of a daredevil? I wish.. Am I scared of the dark? No Am I social? Uh I guess Am I superstitious? It depends Am I ticklish? Oh god.. Can I bake? Not well Can I cook? Again, not well Can I curl my tongue? Yup Can I dance? Uh.. I can do the charleston, the macarena, YMCA.. so uh Can I drive? Nearly!! Can I juggle? Lol nah Can I play poker? Lol nah Can I roll my r’s? You bet Can I sing? Well I’m not tone deaf but I wouldn’t go as far as saying I can sing Can I spell well? I hope so Can I swim? Yup Can I wiggle my ears? Kinda?? Do I correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes.. Do I have a collection of anything? 50p’s, squashed pennies, cool money Do I have a strong accent? Nah Do I have any nicknames? “Weema” - my dad Do I have any pet peeves? Bad grammar, when people spell it “defiantely”, people who put the milk in first Do I have any piercings? Nah Do I have any strange phobias? Let me think about that one idk Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Probably 50/50 Do I have much of an ego? God no Do I judge a book by its cover? Uh, I guess as first impressions Do I like bubble baths? Too right Do I like classical music? Yeah Do I like clowns? Nope Do I like my handwriting? God no Do I like roller-coasters? Sure Do I like scary movies? Yeah Do I like shopping? Yup Do I like to gossip? Not really Do I like to talk on the phone? Depends who it’s to Do I like travelling? Yeeeepp Do I play any instruments? Piano! Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Of Do I smile at strangers? I try to Do I suck or bite lollipops? Suck, cheeky Do I talk to myself? Yup Do I tend to hold grudges? Unfortunately Do I use earphones or headphones? Earphones, but I prefer headphones Do I use sarcasm a lot? Dunno man, do I Do I want any tattoos? Some cute flowery ones Do I wear glasses? I did for a year? But now I don’t need them? Have I ever been on a plane? Once Have I ever been on tv? Not that I remember lmao Have I ever been to the hospital? Yup Have I ever crashed a car? Not yet Have I ever got in trouble with the law? Not yet Have I ever had a rumour spread about me? Well if it was, I dunno about it Have I ever had braces? Nope but soon I will Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yup Have I ever skipped school? Yup, karma got me though Have I ever started a rumour? Idk I hope not Have I ever thrown up in the car? Uh?? I dunno man How long does it take for me to get ready? Not long, I spend most of my getting ready time drinking tea How many relationships have I ever had? Just the one How old was I when I first got my period? I dunno like 12 How tall am I? 5ft 8? What am I most likely to be doing when I am outside? Walking most probably What am I usually doing on a Friday night? Sitting in bed What are my favourite bands? God um, Arctic Monkeys, Two Door Cinema Club, RHCP, Green Day, Gorillaz - idk it changes every 10 minutes What are my favourite flowers? Roses, Daffodils What can I smell in the air? Not much really, maybe shea perfume What colours mostly dominate my wardrobe? Black, blue, crimson What is my appearance like? Pale complexion, brown hair, blue eyes What is my culture? Idk, white british? Is that right? What is my current wallpaper on my phone? A collage of the same picture of my boyfriends face What is my full name and why did I get it? Amy Helen Blackford, because my parents chose it lmao What is my greatest strength? Lmao probably art, I’m just mediocre at everything What is my greatest weakness? Nerves. What is my guilty pleasure? The 80s What is my Hogwarts house? Ravenclaw What is my most expensive piece of clothing? Uh a pair of duck egg coloured docs at a guess What is my most heavily used makeup product? Revolution Flawless Matte 2 What is my most used phrase? Currently “lmao” or “man” cause I’m a generic piece of shit What is my most used word? I don’t really have a personal word count so.. What is my personality like? A bit bland, occasionally funny, easily pissed off, indecisive, persistent, annoying What is my personality type? INTP? Idk I had to google this one What is my religion? Unspecified, I’m not bound to a religion and I as never baptised  - who knows what / if I’ll be. What is my spirit animal?  What is my strangest talent? Uh, this is a weird one but if I were to place my hands as if I were to clap them I can make a weird ass fart noise with my hands?? I haven’t got any decent talents. I’m a bit useless. Oh wait I can cross my legs twice too What is my zodiac sign? Gemini What is one trend that I completely bought into? The 90s trend? What is something I can’t do no matter how hard I try? Fucking piano exams. Playing piano in front of people. Guitar.  What is something I hated as a child that I like now? God, too many things. Eminem, the colour pink, more feminine things What is the last thing I bought? Other than my final set of driving lessons, I bought my boyfriend Mass Effect Andromeda What is the longest I’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably like 20 hours? 22? What is the pet I would like to have? Just more dogs, oh, and a fox What is the worst injury I’ve ever gotten? Spraining my wrist, I’m a bore What language do I want to learn? I know some French, but I’d like to be fluent What video games do I play when I want to relax? Destiny, Overwatch, GTA V.. What was the last book I read? Black-Eyed Susans What was the last movie I saw? Ghost in the Shell, cinema last night What word do I always use as an exclamation? FUCK! What word do I always use to describe something great? Like anything positive, it can range from “cool” to “HOLY SHIT” Where do I currently live? Near Leicester, UK Which is my favourite season? Summer / Autumn

Favourites

What is my favourite accent? French, Russian, posh British (Southern), German, Italian.. most accents really What is my favourite animal? Just dogs, I fucking love dogs What is my favourite band? I dunno this! It changes every 10 minutes! What is my favourite childhood book? I had this giant bumper Disney book  What is my favourite colour? Pastel pink, blues, yellows, greens What is my favourite drink? TEA. What is my favourite flavour of ice cream? Vanilla What is my favourite food to eat on a rainy day? Soup What is my favourite food to eat on a sunny day? Depends, if it’s hot then ice cream! What is my favourite number? 19, no reason it’s just a nice number What is my favourite place on the planet? Scotland What is my favourite radio station? Radio X What is my favourite sandwich? Ham, cheese, lettuce, cucumber and salsa (specifically Subway #NotSpon) What is my favourite snack? Tea and biscuits What is my favourite song? Currently Love by Lana Del Rey What is my favourite swear word? Fuck. It just fits every situation. What is my favourite word? I just came across the word “Idiosyncratic” meaning distinctive, individual and I love it. What is my favourite thing to wear? It’s generic but mom jeans, they’re comfortable as fuck and I have a pair with flowers on so they’re super pretty !

People

Do I remember the day I met …? My boyfriend. The day I met him. Hell yeah he was a weird kid standing on a table - he shook up an energy drink (specifically Rockstar Guava which I happen to love) and stabbed it with a pin so it spirted out. He continued to do this for a few days. Little did I know it was actually to get my attention specifically. How are my mother and I similar and different? We looked exactly the same at the age of 5. However she is very quick to judge people I am not so What are the compliments I have given other people? I like your outfit, makeup, eyes, hair, smile, eye colour, music taste, art skills What are the compliments people have given me? Nice outfit, You’re pretty What do my best friend and I have in common? We’re both gemini and left-handed. This is also my boyfriend. I have a few other close friends but idk if they consider me as close What gifts would I like to give everyone? Everything they want. Paints, anything yellow, games, clothes, anything. What if I could meet anyone on this planet – who would I choose? Bob Ross Where is my best friend? At work, sucks to be him. Which actors & actresses do I trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? Leo DiCaprio, um.. Which teachers inspired me the most? None of my school teachers Who are my favourite characters? From what TV shows? Tony Stonem, Cassie Ainsworth - Skins. I can’t think of any film ones right now.. Who are my friends? Everyone in my college course, a few I met on Xbox Who are my parents? The ones who.. y’know, made me. Those people. Who are my sisters? Just the one, she’s annoying. Jk lmao. Who are the new people I met? – their names and where we met. Kirstyyy!! Met at college and became friends cause she was wearing an MCR shirt that day. Plus all the other folks at college. Who are the writers I trust enough to read anything they write? I need to fuckin read more. Who brings the sunshine on the days I see nothing but a grey sky? The bae lmao plus all my friends. Who is my best friend? I swear we have had this question. Who is my celebrity crush? 90s: Leo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder. But also Kaya Scodelario, Chris Pratt. Mate just anyone if they’re famous and reasonably attractive. Who is my favourite youtuber? Emma Blackery, basically the only youtuber I still have the time and patience to watch  Who is my role model? Probably Emma Blackery Who is my secret valentine? Secret one? Uh, the bae. SECRETS OUT LADS Who is someone I admire? Admiration and appreciate for Bob Ross if you please Who is someone that saved me? Nathan, from my cripplingly low self-confidence and ability to speak to people Who is the most intelligent person I know? This guy called Jamie, can play guitars ambidextrously, is a killer at maths and science. Who is the most supportive person in my life right now? Nathan and Kirsty thx u guys Who was the last person I texted? NATHAN Who would I like to go on a midnight adventure with? Idk man who was I just talkin about Who would I love to randomly see this week? Any friends, I love meeting up with friendos! Who would I really like to hug? NATHAAN Who would I really like to punch? NATHAAAAAAAAAN Why am I grateful for …? Who? Nathan? Cause he’s cool, talks about problems n shit, treatin me right  Why am I grateful for dad? Cause he helps me out with a lot of shit Why am I grateful for mum? Same as dad to be fair

Music

A playlist for 12-year-old me - Every album ever written by; My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Fall Out Boy A playlist for throwback Thursday, Bohemian Rhapsody, Daydream Believer, Spin me around, Snow (Hey oh), I’m Just Here For The Free Beer A playlist for when I’m angry - Survival, This means war, Lake of Fire A playlist for when I’m in love - Spin Me Around, Love A playlist for when I’m in the mood to party My House, I’m not in love, Earthquake A playlist for when I’m sad - Everybody’s gotta learn sometime, Kitchen Sink A playlist of songs that I have on repeat - My house, Where the girls at,  A playlist that makes me want to dance - Nancy Mulligan, Galway Girl A playlist that makes me want to sing - Mr Brightside, Ruby, Chelse Dagger, Don’t you want me A playlist to inspire me - Anything by Lana A playlist to listen to on the bus/train - Anything by Lana, Twenty one pilots A playlist with the classics - Like a Prayer, True Colours,  A song that really speaks to me - I’m honestly not sure A song that was stuck in my head today - Love, by Lana Bands and their logos - Arctic Monkey’s logo is cool, as is Nirvana’s Song lyrics - “I wanna fuck a dog in the ass” lmao just the funniest lyrics I know from Blink 182 What are the first 6 songs when I put my playlist on shuffle? Semi-Automatic, Are you gonna be my girl, First Date, Blue Jeans, Walk, Lake of Fire What song always brings a smile to my face? Spin me around

Places

A place where the architecture made me want to wake up and see the city skyline every morning - Not that I’ve been there but New York A place where the customer service made me tip £100 - God I hope that’s not a thing A place where the memories were unforgettable - I know too many places for this A place where the nature made me want to live in the middle of nowhere - Scotlandddd A place where the people restored my faith in humanity - Scotlaaanddddd How to get to my favourite place - A seven hour ball-ache of a drive to..... SCOTTLAAAAANDDD Places I have never been to but want to see. Grand Canyon, Great Wall fo China, Great Barrier Reef, The Phillippines, Canada Somewhere I want to go before I die - Australia / America Somewhere I want to go before I turn 20 - ‘MURICAAA Somewhere I would rather be right now. - Wait for it.... SCOTLAAAAND What are the popular places in town? - In my town? The cinema, Costa? I dunno What is the worst place I’ve been to? Blackpool. Where is my favourite place to shop? Urban Outfitters Where was I born? George Eliot Hospital

Lists

A list of every single song on the albums released by my fav bands “fav” lmao I’m dying can I just list some good songs here thanks

Stolen Dance - Milky Chance Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey Trees - twenty one pilots Stan - Eminem Human - Rag’n’Bone Man Nancy Mulligan - Ed Sheeran

I cant think of any more

Every tom and jerry’s ice cream flavour (I want to try).

Fuck my LIFE all of them

Places I would like to see.

Grand Canyon Niagra Falls Cute beaches Mountains

Sounds I like.

Piano Birds Water

Sounds I dislike.

My dad shouting up the stairs at me : ))

Sports I like.

Badminton Basketball

Star signs.

Gemini? Idk?? 

The first 5 things I saw on my way home.

I only left the house for my driving lesson today idk

The first 5 words that come to mind.

I don’t know what to write

The main roman gods.

Is this a test

The main Greek gods.

Zeus. The end.

Things I don’t own but like.

Self appreciation

Things I want to buy.

An iPhone 6S, I have an iPhone 5S and the home button’s broken

Top 10 episodes to watch

Skins S1 Ep’s 1-9, then carry on. Just go past 10 episodes and finish S2.

Top 10 favourite quotes.

“What, you egg!       [He stabs him]”

“Hamlet: O fuck.      [Exit Hamlet]”

I probably have some favourite serious quotes but I forgot them

Top 10 movies to watch.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 10 Cloverfield Lane Every single Harry Potter Girl, Interrupted Every single Star Wars

Techically that’s more than 10

Top 10 people I want to meet.

I’m not even sure, Emma Blackery? Bob Ross if he were here?

Top 10 places in Manchester.

None I want to visit.

Top 10 restaurants I love.

Rossini’s, Prezzo (though I actually recently heard bad reviews so I may retract that one), Zizzi’s, Windsor Tiffin

What is the sentence on line 13 of page 23 in the book nearest to me?

The book nearest me is a Piano book and I’m not going to write sheet music on here. The song on Pg. 23 is called Here, There and Everywhere though

What movies do I watch when I’m feeling down?

Kids movies - Toy Story, Finding Nemo etc

What tv shows do I always recommend?

Sk-Sk-Sk.. SKINS

What were my favourite tv shows as a child?

Doctor Who (I accidentally just typed Doctor Whom and I’m pissing myself holy shit), Tracey Beaker, 50/50, Raven, Trapped! Drake and Josh

What words don’t seem real to me?

Albertopolis, Bindlestiff

Wish list

That fucking iPhone 6S

Experiences/Memories

A memory in summer

Walks down to a nearby village to have picnics

A memory in winter

A drunkard Christmas party in which I threw up on myself 3 times, twice missing a plastic bag as it was folded over and the sick just kinda rolled onto me.

A memory with my family.

Going to France

A memory with my friends.

Wetherspoons Wednesday!!

I’ll never forget the day (a teacher) did this.

Made me write a half page essay about a poem as I did not answer 3 questions on it for homework. I completed this essay in about 2 minutes having read the poem, she looked shocked I’d done it so fact so I got up and left.

Memories from high school

“Are you emo?” “Are you goth?” “You were a lot of black” None of this I do anymore.

Special moments I want to witness.

One of my mates weddings, he’s engaged

The story behind my first kiss

The most awkward peck on a street corner as a goodbye, however it was good

The story behind my last kiss

It simply just happened, probably again as a goodbye for the night

The stories behind my scars

I have a scar on my chin, about an inch and a half in length due to a birthmark I had removed at the age of 8.

What are the memories I never want to forget?

Basically everything the year I met Nathan and everything this year for these have been some of the happiest years of my life.

What is my saddest memory?

I recently lost a guinea pig I’d owned for 4 years, I hadn’t had the time to give her attention in the latter months of her life so I never really said goodbye to her. I’ll regret it forever.

What is the first thing I remember?

Being pushed down the slide by some bitch called Charlotte at the age of about 2. I was really pissed and blamed her up until about 6 months ago when I realised I was in fact the asshole as I was climbing up the slide. I didn’t see the problem with climbing up it until recently lmao

What is the funniest thing I remember?

Um.. itS SEXUAL SO... I’ll save it for another time.

What was my most embarrassing moment?

I was on a school trip, they took all of our water bottles off us on arriving at the destination. I was parched as I never got my water bottle back like everyone else, and when I did I drank the entire thing and it went through me. On the way home from the school trip I had to stop the entire double decker coach because I was about to piss myself.

What was the happiest day of my life?

Idk meeting Nathan for the first time and going on a three hour walk around my small village

What was the last concert I went to?

Busted, last May

What was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed?

Breathtaking views from Scottish Mountains?

What was the most disappointing thing in my life?

I’d been wanting a Nintendo DS lite for a good year, every time the adverts came on I’d scream about how I wanted the pink one. Did I get one? No. My younger sister, aged 4 at the time got one. 

What was the most nervous I’ve ever been?

Holy shit there are so many examples, having teeth out etc..  Most recent though was a piano exam I was 100% prepared for, in the exam my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t play.

What was the saddest day of my life?

Finding out my boyfriend had done something which apparently I later found out he didn’t do, at the time I was distraught however.

When was I last scared for my life?

I don’t think I legitimately ever have been

Letters

A note to my favourite teachers. You were great.

Dear Nathan, I would like to tell you. That you’re awesome and you should love me forever lmao

Dear 5-year-old me. MAKE FRIENDS YOU FUCK

Dear 10-year-old me. GET PIANO LESSONS NOW YOU FUCK

Dear 13-year-old me. STOP BEING EMO YOU FUCK

Dear 15-year-old me. WELL DONE, YOU’RE IMPROVING BUT SORT UR HAIR OUT

Dear 16-year-old me. Ur gonna be fine, look at u now, cheer up man

Dear 18-year-old me. Get drunk, go on, ur 2 months ahead of me

Dear 21-year-old me. IF YOU DIDNT GRADUATE FROM UNI I WILL CRY

Dear 25-year-old me. I hope you have a house and your engaged or something decent, please have a job

Dear all the boys I’ve liked. Lmao why did I like you 

Dear someone I need to forgive. You’re forgiven, whoever you are?

Letters to my future children. fuck off you sperm cells

Questions to answer

A wise person learns from the mistakes of others – do I agree? No, a person becomes wise from learning from their own mistakes. 

Advice to any if the new kids at sf. At the what?

Am I a bad loser? It depends what it is :(((

Am I a good liar? If I want to be

Am I a writer? Hell I wish

Am I an artist? I mean sort of

Am I good at giving advice? Hell I wish

Am I happy with myself? Good joke 

Am I happy with the person I’ve become? Well from what I was, yes

Am I the kind of friend I would like to have as a friend? Ew no

Books I always reread. Uh..

Can insanity bring on more creativity? I think so, sadness does

Do I admit when I’m wrong? Rarely

Do I believe that people are capable of change? Sometimes, but remember I said I hold grudges so I’d probably not trust you for years

Do I belong here? Belong where? I’m in bed so fuck yea

Do I hold grudges? WHAT WERE WE JUST TALKING ABOUT

Do I have trust issues? Yup..

Do I like confrontation? I can confront people, but I don’t like being confronted

Do I live or do I just exist? Existing, waiting to live.

Do I prefer to be on camera or behind it? Behind, but if I totally had the confidence I’d wanna be in there

Do I really want a cat? Cats are cool

Do I trust easily? What the fuck this is the same question, no I do not

Have I ever been bullied? Sorta?

Have I ever been on a date? I don’t even know lol

Have I ever felt like I wasn’t enough? All the time

Have I ever felt rejected by my friends/family? All the time

Have I ever had a friend turn into an enemy? Idk some former friends hate me, and I hate some former friends. No enemies, no arguments though.

Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Used to see someone walk around my dads house and hear banging in the loft - both stopped around the same time however so they’re probably related.

Have I ever had a public perception of me change from good to bad? Idk, Idk what “the public” think of me

Have I ever had a song or poem written about me? No but how cute would that be

Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? WHAT WAS I SAYING ABOUT PIANO.

Have I learnt from my mistakes? Yes but I never follow through cause I’m useless

How am I feeling? Useless man I should be doing college work

How do I find comfort when I’m sad? Tea and biscuits.

How do I vent my anger? Arguing, shouting.. it’s bad.

How do I want to be remembered? As a decent person

How could I avoid getting hurt? Pretend you’re not. Be sarcastic n fuckin take it like a truck.

How does a (any appliance around the home) work? Well you see, with a vacuum right, you plug it in and you turn it on. Then it sucks away the dirty shit on your floor. Why is this a question.

How I think will determine how I live – agree or not? Yeah, your thoughts impact your decisions, your decisions impact what happens around you.

How would I define my sense of humour? Sometimes dark, sometimes punny, memes, shit.

What am I like when I’m angry? Argumentative, aggressive, talk back

What am I most afraid of? Being forgotten, left behind

What are some things that stand between me and complete happiness? Self-confidence, nerves

What did I like about being a kid? Not giving a fuck

What did I want to be when I was younger? Fashion designer, teacher, hair dresser, doctor, F1 driver, artist.. you name it.

What do I admire most in others? Kindness, generosity, respectfulness

What do I hate about sf? WHAT THE FUCK IS SF

What do I hate most about myself? My huge ass nose, teeth, nerves, personality

What do I love most about myself? The fact my eyes are blue ? 

What do I notice first when I see someone? Eyes

What do I think about selfies? Sometimes I take good ones

What do I think about the most? Tea

What do I think could be improved in the educational system? Pretty much all of it, the way personal and social skills is taught specifically.

What do I think people think of me? Annoying

What do I touch first when I stick my arms out? My dog

What do I wish I didn’t miss? Um?

What do I wish for every night? To be more productive, a cup of tea

What does a rainbow mean to me? Usually that it’s been raining, I’m pretty black and white.

What fictional character do I wish was real? None really?

What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Harry Potter or something, maybe X men. Have a wand or some special ability, it’d be cool.

What is an experience that has made me stronger? Getting a job which requires speaking to people

What is an item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My half 50p necklace

What is my biggest dream and how do I plan on making it become a reality? Going travelling.. I have no idea how.

What is my biggest what if? What if I’d never met Nathan. Would I be a not talkative emo fuck

What is my greatest achievement? Designing the logo for my local carnival? Designing a company brochure (in the making)

What is my greatest failure? Hopefully not my driving test next week.

What is my secret weapon to get someone to like me? Uh. My killer dank memes.

What is one aspect of myself that I feel confident about? My makeup. 

What is one thing I am interested in learning more about? North Korea

What is something that makes me feel vulnerable? My nerves and easy ability to be angry or upset by something

What is the best gift I’ve ever received? My half 50p necklace

What is the first thing I think of when I hear the word ‘heart’? FUcking hell.. the heart emoji. I want to die for that answer, but if I didn’t put it I’d be lying

What is the hardest lesson I have had to learn in life? What I do when I’m learning something, it won’t be perfect first time.

What is the ideal age to be and why? 18 forever, old enough to be responsible for yourself, young enough to go places and have fun.

What is the most scandalous situation I’ve ever been involved in? I broke into an abandoned house?

What is the nicest thing about a person? Their kindness

What is the single best decision I’ve made in my life so far? Switching to Graphic Design course over Art and Design cause the people on Art and Design were shit and I wasn’t happy.

What is the single worst decision I’ve made in my life so far? Being emo aged 12-15

What makes a great relationship? A good balance of friendship, love and lust.

What makes me smile? A good joke, hanging with friends What motivates me to succeed? University, the idea of success

What part of my life would I relive if I could? Most of my childhood?

What part of my life would I remove if I could? The old person part, I don’t wanna be frail, ill and dying unable to do anything and it’s just a waiting game to death.

What question am I afraid to tell the truth to? None really?

What questions would I ask to get to know someone better? What stuff they’re into?

What was I doing at 12am last night? Talking to friends

What was I like as a child and how did my personality change as I got older? More understanding, loving, friendly now

What was my favourite subject in school? Art What was the last lie I told? I can’t remember, who knows, I could’ve been lied to and I don’t know

What was the most ridiculous thing that made me cry? My piano exam, having my teeth out, several films, nothing

What will I do in university? GRAPHIC DESIGN BOI I’M EXCITED

What would I change about my sf? My what the fuck

What would I change about my life if you knew I would never die? Uh.. I don’t wanna not ever die it’d be lonely.

What would I change about the world? Be rid of the old arseholes in Government, disrespectful people, terrorists

What would I like to change this year? BE MORE PRODUCTIVE (ironic I’ve been doing this for over an hour)

What would I do differently if you knew that no one was judging me? Everything.

What would I do in the event of an apocalypse? Probably plan a living strategy

What would I have to see to cry tears of joy? Dogs.

What would I want written on my tombstone? Idk probably something funny like “Active 23 mins ago” or some quote I like

When did I experience stage fright or nervousness in front of a crowd? FUCKING. PIANO. EXAM.

When do I feel most at peace? In bed.

When did I last send a handwritten letter to someone? My french pen friend, year 8

When did I not speak up, when I know I really should have? Several times.

When did I witness something controversial and had to keep it a secret? I don’t think so

When was the last time I cried? Wednesdy, over my FUCKING PIANO EXAM

Where do I see myself in 10 years’ time? uh, in my own house I hope

Where do I want to live? Still not figured this one out

Where is the best place to get pizza? Rossini’s omg

Where would I go if I got a plane ticket to anywhere? ‘MURICAAA

Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains

Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Used to just be girls but now both really

Who do I miss the most? No one?

Who do I need the most? Nobody cause IM A FREE WOMAN

Why couldn’t I get out of bed this morning? Because it’s me and I’m lazy.

Why couldn’t I sleep last night? Because it’s me and I’m shit.

Why do I hate insects? Because it’s me and I hate them.

Why do dogs hate me and I hate them? Wait what no

Will you lend me a hand – how do I think this idiom got started? Because I can’t carry something or I’m confused

Would I ever spread gossip? I hope not

Would people consider me a diva? I hope not? I don;t think I am?

[thesassybooskter]

THE LORD MEETS HIS LADY by Gina Conkle: Spotlight, Excerpt & Giveaway

NOW AVAILABLE/SOURCEBOOKS CASABLANCA

Lord Marcus Bowles has stained his family’s reputation for the last time. Only after spending a scandal-free year restoring some far-flung property can this second son return in good graces. But Marcus isn’t one to abandon a lone damsel on a dark country lane.

One stolen kiss and Genevieve Turner’s handsome midnight savior disappears. Typical. No matter, Gen is finally on the way to her new post, and hopefully to finding her grandmother as well. Instead she finds her mischievous hero is her new employer. Surely a few more kisses won’t hurt…

Buy Online: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iBooks

Add to Goodreads

  How to Enjoy London Like a Georgian

The Georgian era was a fascinating shift from pastoral to urban living. The economic boom brought scientific advances. Much of the populace elevated themselves to a better place in life—especially the merchant class. Entertainments abounded. Life’s little luxuries were affordable. People enjoyed a diversity of products pouring into London on a regular basis.

In researching the Midnight Meetings series, I came across many surprises. You could call this list 5 things for an interesting life in London:

The British Museum. Seeds for the world-renowned institution were planted in 1753 with the death of physician Hans Sloane. A naturalist with a love for all things exotic, Sloane had purchased the house next door to warehouse his unique collections. People traveled far and wide to visit the house in Bloomsbury, finding a hodgepodge of international oddities. Trustees of Sloan’s estate didn’t know what to do with Sloane’s things. They tried to give the collection King George II, but he didn’t want it. Parliament acquired the collection and by 1759 the official British Museum opened its doors to the public.

Hot air balloon-mania hit England in the 1780s. It’s been reported that 200,000 people (royalty included in that number) showed up at the Artillery Ground of Moorfields to see a demonstration by Vincenzo Lunardi. He ascended without incident (other than his cat, which he took along for the ride, getting sick). The charming Italian was quite popular. Hawkers sold Lunardi fans, garters, and bonnets.

Pets ranged from the regular to the exotic. Unusual pet ownership spread amongst all classes with animals like a mongoose, ring-tailed lemurs, and marmosets. The Tower of London had a zoo open to the public, featuring jackals, lions, monkeys, baboons, and even an Indian elephant. Great beasts from around the world were housed in the Tower as far back as the 13th.

Fine furniture became egalitarian with Chippendale’s innovations to the industry. In the past, fashionable homeowners clamored for furniture fashionable made by high-end designers. Those men signed each furniture piece they made the way painters sign a painting. Then along came Chippendale. He published his Gentleman and Cabinetmaker’s Director (a design book) which changed how the English bought and made furniture. Design books weren’t new, but Chippendale’s approach was revolutionary. He presented the furniture as part of interior design: think presenting whole sets for a drawing room rather than an individual piece on a page. Chippendale hired men to make furniture for him, but his book not only changed ensemble decorating, it fostered a Do-It-Yourself approach to fine furniture-making. Humble gentry purchased Chippendale’s books and crafted their own fine furniture (such as my character, Mr. Samuel Beckworth in The Lord Meets His Lady).

The resourceful woman created her own future. The nobility watched over their daughters lest those young women go astray, but other classes of London enjoyed a kind of bare-knuckle freedom. Life was harsh on the fair-sex. Yet, many women refused to be victims of the times. Some forged a good life in commerce. Publisher Elizabeth Nutt is one such example. She ran a cluster of shops near the Royal Exchange where she sold respectable publications. She was also listed as “Mercury Woman”, a printer of seditious and sometimes salacious material on Grubb Street. She ran the business with her daughters.

London, no matter the era, was and is a place of opportunity for those who seek adventure on its streets. ~Gina

  Excerpt

Lord Bowles set one hand on the dark-stained oak and pushed, all the while watching her with gentle determination as she rose awkwardly from the floor. Iron hinges whined a lethargic turn before the door clicked shut on honking fowl. The entry dimmed but was no less luminous for the unexpected sparks between them. Lord Bowles was a dose of good French brandy at the wrong time of day, enticing but entirely unsuitable.

“Do I make you nervous?” he asked.

His lordship missed nothing. He was like a thief-taker digging for the truth. In their two meetings, he’d shown more substance than the aimless wastrel people claimed him to be. For the first time since she left London, she missed the clamor and the crowds. This quiet between her and Lord Bowles, it denuded her. 

“Nervous? A little.” Her attention flittered over him. “The part of me that finds you handsome. Too handsome for your own good.”

He blinked, his lips parting. Well-shod feet shifted and another beat of stillness passed. Did she surprise him? Good. Unease melted off her back from satisfaction of his lordship being the one off center. Served him right for coming here like this.

She wiped dough-flecked hands in her apron as though she had all the time in the world. “And since I’m being forthright, milord, I wanted some time to myself. You don’t get much of that living above The Golden Goose.”

“No, I suppose not.”

With his wind-mussed queue and rumpled brown velvet coat, Lord Bowles could be any man awaiting acceptance of a social call. He was a dangerous flirt with genuine, friendly appeal, endearing qualities that played havoc with her resolve, but she would be firm.

Her head tipped at an open doorway off the entry. “The parlor is that way, milord. I’ll fetch some coffee for you.”

She headed to the kitchen, her skin prickling across her bottom and thighs. Lord Bowles watched her. Ambling footsteps sounded in the small dining room behind her. He wasn’t going to be a docile guest.

Did his lordship think he’d found a convenient light skirt?

Crossing the kitchen, she tensed, expecting footfalls to follow her on the flagstone floor. A knee to a man’s baubles sent a clear message to overzealous men at The Golden Goose. With her employer’s friend, she’d have to use different tactics.

At the hearth, she checked the roast in the cooking hastener, but no footsteps came, nor did a hand palm her bottom. One glance at the kitchen showed Lord Bowles lounging in the doorway, one hand resting in his coat pocket. The corners of his mouth curled up as if he read women all the time and knew their secrets.

“Thought I’d wait here, save you the trip to the parlor with my coffee.”

“Because I’m of delicate constitution?” She reached for the spindle jack hanging from a rafter above the hearth.

“No, because I like watching you.”

Her cheeks warmed and her nipples poked her stays. “Lord Bowles…” she began sternly.

“I know,” he said smiling shamelessly. “I’m being inappropriate with my friend’s housekeeper. Can we agree to talk freely when we’re alone? I’ll curb myself when others are around.”

“I can’t lose this position, milord.” She started winding the spindle jack, a slow and noisy effort. Her breasts jostled and the flush spread down her neck and chest. There was no denying, it was nice being the object of his improper interest.

The Beckworth kitchen was bright with limestone walls and a cheery, yellow cabinet, not a typical haunt for the likes of Lord Bowles. He’d seek amusement elsewhere. With turnips on the table and bread rising in a bowl, his boredom with this rustic kitchen was her best weapon.

“There is a point to my visit,” he said loudly. “I come bearing an offer of help.”

“Help? With what?” she asked above the cranking cogs.

Lord Bowles stepped cautiously down into the kitchen. “I’d rather have a decent conversation with you than yell across the room.” He gestured to the long pine table near the hearth. “May I have a seat? I promise to behave. We’ll have a table between us.”

Her arm burned from working against the spindle’s tension and the heavy roast by her knees. She was about to give him a set down, but she spied that silly hole in his stocking and softened.

“No flirting, milord.”

He smiled boldly. “On my honor, none. We’ll be solemn as clergymen.”

“Clergymen,” she huffed and blew a wayward wisp off her face. “A few minutes. No more.”

He crossed the kitchen and took a seat at the table. She cranked harder. The string was nearly wound around the pulley.

“What is this offer of yours?”

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  About Gina Conkle

Gina Conkle writes sensual Georgian romance and lush Viking romance. Her books offer a fresh, addictive spin on the genre, with the witty banter and sexual tension that readers crave.

She grew up in southern California and despite all that sunshine, Gina loves books over beaches and stone castles over sand castles. Now she lives in Michigan with her favorite alpha male, Brian, and their two sons where she’s known to occasionally garden and cook._ Find her at www.ginaconkle.com.

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THE LORD MEETS HIS LADY by Gina Conkle: Spotlight, Excerpt & Giveaway was originally published on The Sassy Bookster