#(also love the teen definition of early. it's good for me to balance out my 4:00 in the morning)

[spockandawe]

Hello! While I know this point must have already been talked about a lot in the fandom but since I have only recently read tgcf, I don't know much. I came across threads on where people talked about Hua Cheng being obsessive and toxic, with his existence being centered around Xie Lian and hence not having a grounding personality and life of his own + the scene of Ten Thousand Gods Cave.

Since I have been reading your metas, I was curious about your thoughts on this? Thank you!

Sure thing! Apologies for the slow response, this whole thing with my back has been really disrupting everything I want to accomplish. Now, I think that Hua Cheng is obsessive in a way that could easily become toxic, but calling him obsessive+toxic relies on only a shallow reading of the character and limiting yourself to the point where he is at the very start of the story, ignoring all the character/relationship development that happens over the course of a very long book.

Now, when it comes to the flashback books? Hua Cheng can have a little obsession, as a treat. I’m not going to say that the way he feels back then is any kind of basis for a healthy adult relationship, but Hua Cheng is approximately ages 10-17 over the course of book 2, and isn’t much “older” after his death as the ghost fire and as Wuming in book 4. He’s not relating to Xie Lian in a way that’s going to lead to a relationship of equals at that point, but he’s also a kid who’s worshiping a god who saved his life at a young age, twice, and who comforted and reassured him when their kingdom’s guoshi told him that he was doomed to bring misfortune to everyone in his life. All of their interactions in book 2 are extremely good reasons for why Hua Cheng would idolize him and obsess over him in that way, and I’m not going to fault him for any of it.

Now, I would say that the end of book 4 illustrates how badly that kind of idolization can go better than anything set in the present day, but it’s telling that this is also the point where Xie Lian abruptly realizes how much he doesn’t want to be Like This, and hauls his life around. Even eight hundred years later, he’s more ashamed to speak of this part of his life than anything else. He’s way more willing to laugh at his own pain and suffering than he is to even mention a time where he was cold and controlling with someone who offered themself to him.

SO. In the present, Xie Lian has a very good reason to know that he does not want to take advantage of someone else’s offered devotion. It’s an old memory, but when we see how much he doesn’t want to talk about it, it’s clear that it made an impression. If the direction of this book was only up to Hua Cheng? He’s already made it abundantly clear that he’s willing to sacrifice his everything, including his sense of self, if Xie Lian asks, but Xie Lian has confirmed very strongly to himself that this is not what Xie Lian wants.

And Xie Lian is walking a very fine emotional line in a lot of ways that he himself isn’t even fully aware of, but the early development in the book has this really interesting balance in the dynamic between him and Hua Cheng. He’s happy to rely on Hua Cheng for advice and help, but he’s also completely willing to worry for him (when he jumps into the sinner’s pit) and to gently scold him (when he jumps into the sinner’s pit). Hua Cheng worries about what will happen if Xie Lian finds out who he really is, but Xie Lian pretty much confirms it to himself, and when Hua Cheng is finally anxious enough to ask about it, Xie Lian’s main reaction is ‘isn’t the important thing that I like you as a person?’

If Hua Cheng was left to his own devices, he’d obsess over Xie Lian in a way that let himself suborn his entire identity to whatever Xie Lian wants from him, but Xie Lian has been so horribly lonely for so long, and even before a relationship enters the picture, what Xie Lian wants is a friend. And Xie Lian, on his own, is determined not to let himself take advantage of a person the way he took advantage of Wuming. And no matter how much Hua Cheng wants to submit himself to Xie Lian, what’s more important to him is what Xie Lian wants. The meta that’s been doing good circulation that I bet you saw was about how Hua Cheng developed his own independent sense of self over the last eight hundred years, no matter what he’d originally wanted, but as he gets to know Xie Lian in the present, Xie Lian makes it clear that Xie Lian likes who he became. 

Hua Cheng does still definitely take the position that ‘whatever Xie Lian wants is more important than what I want’, and that could go badly in so many ways, but from the very beginning, Xie Lian is firmly, firmly expressing, ‘I like who you are and I want to be friends.’ Xie Lian doesn’t scold Hua Cheng for being a dick to Fu Yao and Nan Feng, or for breaking heavenly artifacts, even one that used to be one of his own treasured possessions. He scolds Hua Cheng because ‘you jumped down into that pit and I was afraid you would be hurt.’ He doesn’t try to sand off Hua Cheng’s sharp edges or change him, and isn’t willing to sit back and relax as Hua Cheng puts himself in harm’s way. He doesn’t give Hua Cheng room to make himself a less-than, and (probably unintentionally) positively reinforces Hua Cheng when he lets bits of his own true personality show through. One of the reasons I love this book so much is because that relationship could have so easily turned toxic and controlling, but the main pair like each other so much that they manage to pull through into a healthy, balanced relationship.

It’s not a perfect relationship, because perfect relationships are boring and unrealistic, and there’s no tension in a story if two characters are perfectly in step. But by the end of the story, this is a more perfect relationship than I’d ever expected to be invested in, because they’re so in sync, haha. 

I think the moments that show the ways it’s not obsessive in a toxic way best come through in the times when Hua Cheng has some sort of grudge against a person that Xie Lian genuinely cares for. It starts with the shitty teens in the Banyue arc, but even near the story end, Mei Nianqing is Xie Lian’s old beloved teacher, and is also the person who told Hua Cheng ‘wow! you’re destined to fuck over everyone who ever gets close to you’ when Hua Cheng was just a little kid. It’s clear that Xie Lian likes and respects him a lot, and Hua Cheng feels not at all compelled to play nice. He’s happy to continue being nasty as hell to Feng Xin and Mu Qing, who are Xie Lian’s next two closest friends. He’s not even willing to be nice to E’Ming even as 1) Xie Lian pampers it, and 2) E’Ming is literally a part of himself. 

And he doesn’t hide this at all. He’s willing to act in ways not at all aligned with Xie Lian’s own opinions, especially as time goes on and Xie Lian doesn’t correct him. He’s willing to act against Xie Lian’s wishes in order to protect him (taking back his spiritual energy in the black water arc, overexerting himself to the point of dissipation at the climax), and it becomes more clear as the story progresses that he’s a person who wants only the best for Xie Lian, but who exists independently from Xie Lian, and isn’t willing to completely defer to Xie Lian’s desires or to override Xie Lian’s desires for what he thinks is best. To me, this relationship is primarily defined by how much the two of them like each other, and especially early on, I could see it easily tipping in an unhealthy direction, but it feels like most of the later relationship development specifically exists to undermine that particular flavor of toxic dynamic, and what we end up with is a very sweet, very balanced relationship. Hua Cheng’s willingness to submit himself to what Xie Lian wants is overridden by Xie Lian’s desire that Hua Cheng be himself, because that’s the person who Xie Lian loves.

[badboyfriends]

Bets Against The Void c7

ok i really like validation so its back again this week

crossposted on ao3

Whitelist AU by @petrichormeraki​

next chapter

last chapter

first chapter

They never quite fell back to sleep.

It took only three hours for them to start rolling out of their makeshift bed, and back to scrambling around the hobbit hole and making the most of the resources.

The two teens didn’t really talk, after how their last conversation finished.

Tommy peaked down into what looked like a not-so-hidden stripmine, before Tubbo’s head perked up.

“Someone’s at the door,” The brunett chimed, carefully striding their way over.

It was once again Grian, with a shulkerbox in tow.

“Sorry to bother you guys again,” Grian gave a sheepish wave while balancing the box against one arm and his chest. “I remembered last night that I didn’t leave any cooking supplies, or open up where the kitchen is.”

“It’s not just you,” Tommy decided to add, turning back towards where the entrance was. “That fuckin’ bird showed up again this mornin’. Woke us up.”

At that, Grian groaned. “Yeah..He does his own thing in the early mornings and at night. The hobbithole was basically his house. I’ll enclose him tonight, sorry for that.”

Moving the box under an arm, Grian tilted his head. “Can I go back and show you where the kitchen’s hidden?”

Tommy merely raised a brow. “It’s your house, ain’t it, dickhead?”

Tubbo lightly jabbed Tommy’s side.

“I made it, yeah, but you two are staying in it. As long as you’d like it, it’s yours and I won't come in without your explicit permission.”

With a second of baffled confusion, Tubbo cleared their throat and nodded.

“Yeah! Uh. Come in, I guess..?”

It took only a few minutes for Grian to expose the tucked away room by the super smelter setup Tubbo and Tommy were yet to investigate.

“I didn’t feel like decorating a kitchen since I already had so many plans with my megabase..If I had it my way I wouldn’t have made a kitchen at all, but the Jungle Gang of Hermits would’ve been severely disappointed if I was only having menu-crafted food.” He’d casually explain, pulling out a paper towel roll from the shulkerbox as he swiped down the tops and barren counters.

“How many Hermits are in the jungle?” Tubbo asked, brows furrowed. Their tablet’s visual narration was muted, as it repeatedly described Grian wiping off the dust from the counters.

“Ehh..Five? Including me? There’s also Ren, but he’s right on the edge, down in a masa. Beautiful setup he’s got going on.” He’d breezily explain.

Nodding along, Tommy glanced around the room.

“This is cool ‘n all but we don’t have to use this space. You left.. Shitloads of stuff, in the chests.” The blond had pointed out, turning back towards Grian.

With a shrug, Grian hummed dismissively. “Real food’s a much better idea, and i’m fairly certain steak’s most of what I got left, down here. Maybe for dinner but..Not really for breakfast, or anything.”

Tubbo shrugged. “Fair enough, yeah..We don’t exactly..Cook much? I mean- I know I certainly haven’t had the time to get much in me, other than coffee.” 

“Ooh, yeah, definitely a good traditional-prepped item.. Other than tea on occasion, I don't tend to stray from crafted food. Even on the days I sit down and eat it like a proper meal.” Grian nodded along, glancing off as he dropped the paper towels he had been using to clean into a little bin.

Tommy sighed, leaning against the wall. His head was pounding from the lack of sleep. “What’s the d-”

He was cut off  by a not-so-distant firework bang.

Tubbo flinched and ducked their head down, throwing their arms over their head. Tommy, on the otherhand, lowered to the ground, eyes sealed shut with his hands slammed against his ears.

“Hey! Hey, it’s okay, they’re duds, they’re fireworks! No firework stars, either, just a puff of smoke. You’re both okay. You’re in the hobbit hole. It’s fine, everything’s good.” Grian hushed, giving exaggerated movements as he demonstrated slow breathing.

The blond boy growled, turning to snap at Grian- “We’re not babies!  We’re fine.”

Grian nodded, stepping back to give them both more space. “Okay. It’s okay. And it’s alright if it’s not okay. That was probably just Scar. He’s gonna be in and out of there. He’s the closest neighbor.” He had calmly explained to the pair.

Tubbo had deflated, taking a breath. “Thank you. Sorry. Uh. Y-Yeah.” They nodded numbly.

Tommy raised, folded his arms and didn’t meet the gaze of Grian. His face was twisted as he glared down at the floor. He felt weak.

Taking a small breath, Grian tentatively stepped back towards the door. “I’m going to head out and let you guys cool down, okay? You’re both free to go anywhere you want.”

With that, he departed, leaving the two teens alone.

A brief, tense silence fell between them.

“..That was fucking stupid.” Tommy scoffed.

Tubbo’s brows furrowed, turning towards him.

 “Excuse you?” They spoke, voice edging towards accusatory.

“They’re gonna fuckin’ think we’re weak, Tubbo-”

“I’m sorry that i’m not a fan of explosions! Yeah- that- that one’s my bad, Tommy.” Tubbo growled, going to step away.

Tommy grabbed their arm with a loose grip. “That doesn't matter, Tubbo, we’re- we’re supposed to be able to do better than that! We look like kids to him. We look like cowards-”

“I’m not a coward, Tommy! Oh, void, can’t you just drop it?” They hissed out, yanking their arm free.

“For the love of Prime- Tubbo. Tubbo, I'm not mad at you! So I need you not to be mad at me-”

“Too late for that!” They spat, rushing themself out the door with a slam.

Left behind was Tommy, tense and red in the face with a growing pit of guilt.

...

The people slowly started to pour back into the server. With everything going as expected, the admin breezily flicked and dismissed his communication screen, leaning back as he rested atop the incomprehensible mess of community chests.

Frequent pings and beeps ran through his ears as the comms went off, mixed with alerts and chatting as people settled back down.

He hadn’t bothered to check the messages until an hour in, when a high-pitched chirp emitted. A private message.

Summoning his screen back, he read over it.

ItsFundy: Hey Dre? My messages aren’t reaching Tubbo. Why aren’t the two back yet?

Dream quietly laughed. The server could use a quick break from them. 

It only took a quick flick of the wrist to pull up Tommy and Tubbo’s info. They were both in a world. With the MCC servers closed to the public for maintenance at night, Dream could only assume the two had scampered off to Hypixel or something of the like.

Upon a brief investigation, the servers were left as unlisted.

...Nonetheless, Dream will allow himself to revel in some peace for now. Let them get a little scared. A little more respect for the server-

Dream sneered.

They’re lucky they’re as tolerated as they are, here.

...And without them present, well- that sure will leave L’manburg in an interesting situation…

Dream: Can’t say I know. Sorry. They probably ran off, dont worry too much about them.

Making up his mind, Dream scrolled back to the Player information.

“It would be a shame if they went M.I.A, especially with how fresh the wound on L’manburg is..” He mused.

A click or two on the screen and it was done. They were locked from the server. 

“Enjoy yourselves, idiots.” He yawned, kicking his legs off the chests and onto the floor.

His axe was summoned to his hand, and he stalked off, a chill running through the air.

[zackmartin]

Do you have any new headcanons for Izzy and Felix?

I don’t really have any new HC’s for Izzy and Fe specifically, but I’d love to introduce the two newest members of this little universe? If that’s cool? :)

Thank you so much for sending this, I love you with my whole heart 💕

So, first Izzy’s bestie-turned-girlfriend, then we’ll talk about the third sibling.

(Forgive me, I don’t have a last name for her yet, I haven’t had any spoons lately, so I haven’t been able to devote time to fleshing her out.) - Anyway, her name is Zaria - her FC is Swayam Bhatia - She is/was Izzy’s neighbor (up until she was a teenager when her parents moved to a new house, but they stayed in Swellview so it wasn’t like they were separated or anything.) - They have one those relationships where she’ll literally just like, walk into the Hartin house without knocking and she definitely sees Zack and Hen as like. Extra parents. But, because of that, she also respects them as such, so even though they always tell her that she doesn’t have to be formal with them, she can use their first names, she still calls both of them “Mr. H” until she’s in her early 20s because it just feels odd/weird to her when she’s a kid to call them by anything else since they’re like. Authority figures to her. - She definitely had a crush on Iz when they were in high school, but they had been friends almost since birth so she was too worried about ruining what they had to say anything. (but, they have a happy ending!) - Izzy is definitely the bad influence on her 😅 - Like Zaria’s very naturally gifted so she doesn’t have to work herself to death to get good grades, but she still prides herself on them, and Izzy is the devil on her shoulder going “well, but you don’t really need to study for that math test. You know the material! We could go to the skate park instead...” - But they balance each other out in that way - Also, I am stealing a little bit from Swayam’s role in Game Changers, but Zari’s a figure skater

Okay, anyway. On to the third sibling. I might be obsessed with Z-names.

- Their name is Zoey (I don’t have an FC yet, I’m still deciding) but they’re a year younger than Felix and they’re genderfluid. - They literally sometimes use different pronouns on a day-by-day basis (but they/them is always acceptable). Like, they can literally just stroll in the kitchen that morning and be like “it’s a boy day” and then everyone knows to use he/him that day (I know pronouns don’t have to be gendered, but that’s just how they conceptualize it.) But, their name stays the same, so they’re Zoey no matter what day it is. - They’ve kinda been bounced around to different homes a lot so they’re kinda hesitant to believe Zack and Hen at first when they say that can be their forever home if they want it to be, because they’ve been burned before. - (they actually started as a foster for London & Maddie, and the two of them wanted to try to adopt them because they knew what they really needed was stability and just. a place that was permanent, but London and Maddie already had a few teens in the house, and they didn’t want to end up stretching themselves so thin that their kids end up not getting the attention they need because the two of them took on too much)(and they weren’t really even asking Henry and Zack to take them, they just told of them of the situation, and Zack and Hen, being the big-hearted fools that they are, had a very serious discussion about it and were just kinda like “well, we have the room, we’re financially stable enough, we could provide the stability they really need” and like. Felix had highkey been begging them for years to give him a little sibling, so when they brought Izzy and Felix into the decision making process, Felix was THRILLED, and Izzy thought it would fun to have another sibling, so it was just kinda like. As long Zoey liked being there and wanted to stay) - It takes a few years, but they do very slowly allow themselves to believe that like, this could be their permanent home, but in the meantime, they just kinda have the attitude of like. The house is really cool, they like Izzy and Fe, they LOVE being in a house with pets, Zack and Hen are nice and they take care of them, and Zack makes relatively good money and he’ll let them buy fun stuff sometimes (and Izzy has definitely taught them how to “work the system” aka her dads using tears to get what they want) so they’re just kinda like, “I’ll just enjoy my time while I’m here until they send me somewhere else” - Zack definitely cried the first time they called him dad. Like, he didn’t cry in front of them, cause he didn’t want to stress them out, but he definitely cried to Henry afterwards aldkjf and Hen was lowkey a little jealous (but, it happens soon after for him too)

[curlyy-hair-dont-care]

Floral Pistachio

“We have to go there, Papa. It's grandma and my favourite,” Scorpius cried excitedly, dragging Draco by the hand. “That’s the shop right there,” he squealed and made a dash for it.

Draco jogged the last few feet and entered the shop called L’etoile . He leaned against a counter to catch his breath but the sight in front of him stole it away once again.

There was Scorpius, seated on a table top chattering away with none other than Harry Potter himself.

“Scorpius! What have I told you about running on the streets!” Draco chided, finally finding his tongue.

“I’m sorry, Papa,” the five-year-old pouted before resuming munching on a chocolate éclair.

When did he get that? “What are you eating, Scorp?”

“Chocolate éclair,” he mumbled, cream and chocolate smeared around his little mouth. “Harry always lets me try the specials of the day.”

Harry laughed and gently wiped the boy’s face with a napkin as Draco gaped at them.

“That’s not polite, Scorp,” he sputtered.

“Grandma doesn't mind, and I always thank Harry,” he said indignantly and Harry hid a snort.

Draco huffed and made a mental note to have a word about all of this with his mother. But not today. Today was her birthday and they needed to get back on task, which was buying her favourite cake from her favourite bakery as per Scorpius.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Please allow me to pay for this.”

“Please, it’s on the house. I can’t charge my little taste tester and critic here!” Harry grinned. “So what can I get for y’all today?”

“We’re looking for the ‘Floral Pistachio?’” Draco fumbled glancing at Scorpius who nodded effusively.

“It’s grandma’s birthday and she likes pistachios.”

“Great choice!” Harry beamed at Scorpius. “I just baked one this morning!” he turned and smiled at Draco. “It's got pistachios – obviously – cardamom, rosewater, a hint of lemon, balsamic-soaked strawberries and refreshing rose buttercream.”

Harry brought out a beautiful cake frosted in baby pink and pistachio green, topped with beautiful piped roses. “I just finished piping these before you arrived,” he proudly displayed his creation as Draco looked at it in awe while Scorpius eyed it hungrily. He had evidently inherited his sweet tooth from his dad.

“It’s also known as the Persian Love Cake,” Harry continued, “The story behind the name is that once upon a time there was a Persian woman madly in love with a prince. To make him fall in love with her, she baked him this cake, filled with magical love powers,” Harry said wistfully before remembering his audience. “I’m so sorry, I get carried away sometimes,” he blushed. “So, ‘Floral Pistachio’… I’ll pack it up.”

While Harry packed up the cake, Scorpius dragged Draco to the display case and showed him all his favourite confections.

“Will that be all?” Harry asked.

Draco hesitated. “Could we also have a box of the éclairs Scorp was having? They looked delicious.”

“Of course! These are on the house for my favourite customer,” Harry said as he handed over the items.

“Oh, no, Potter, we can't –”

“I insist! And please wish Narcissa a happy birthday from me.”

Draco nodded as Scorpius piped up, “We’re having a party for Grandma tonight, you should come, Harry!”

“Oh, I wouldn't want to impose,” Harry mumbled.

Draco’s not sure what made him do this, but he added, “You should come. I’m sure Mother would like that. Andy and Teddy will be there, too.”

“Yesss, pleaseeee, Harry,” Scorpius pleaded.

“Okay,” he relented.

Scorpius cheered as Draco gave him the time and Floo details before leaving the store.

Draco spent the rest of the day in a daze. Harry Potter was coming over for dinner tonight.

Harry spent the rest of the day with a smile on his face and a skip in his step.

At 6 pm sharp, Harry stepped out of the Floo at Malfoy Manor. He had left the bakery early, requesting Luna to cover the last few hours for him. After a quick change of clothes, he’d nipped to Grimmauld Place’s wine cellar to select a bottle of wine and picked up a delicate bouquet of blue agapanthus, white oriental lilies and large white roses.

Teddy and Andy were already there and Narcissa greeted him warmly. They made small talk, drank, ate and laughed. Harry was seated next to Draco during dinner and they chatted about Scorpius and Teddy, Draco’s job, and Harry's bakery. It was an unsurprisingly comfortable evening.

After dinner, they all retired to the living room. Draco played a few songs on the piano before cutting Narcissa’s birthday cake.

“Oh, this is simply gorgeous, Harry!” Andromeda gasped when the cake was brought out.

“Absolutely divine as always!” Narcissa raved after taking a dainty bite.

Once Scorpius had finished his second slice of cake, Draco decided it was time for bed. “Come on darling, you’ve had a long day, it’s time for bed,” Draco cooed and gently lifted his son off the sofa.

“Oh sit, Draco, I’ll put him to bed, it's Teddy’s bedtime as well,” Andy said as she took Scorpius from Draco’s arms.

The teen looked like he was about to protest but a look from Andy had him shutting up.

“Can cousin Teddy read me a bedtime story? He does the best impressions!” Scorpius asked cheerfully.

“Oh yes, Nan, can I, please?” Teddy asked, his hair turning a shade of platinum blond to match Scorpius.

“Oh alright, but just one story and you must brush your teeth and change into your jammies first,” Andy relented. “Now say goodbye to everyone and head upstairs.”

After a series of goodbyes and goodnights and I love yous and hugs, the kids went upstairs.

“I should get going too,” Harry said.

“Oh,” Draco replied. Did he sound disappointed?

“Why don't you stay for a cup of tea, Harry dear. I’ll just put the kettle on,” Narcissa said and left the room.

After a few beats of awkward silence, Harry spoke. “Thanks for inviting me, Draco, I had a lovely time.”

“Thanks for coming, and for the lovely wine. Oh and that delicious cake!” he moaned.

Harry flushed. “I meant what I said, by the way. You can come by Grimmauld Place whenever and I can show you the wine cellar. I’m sure you’d appreciate it more than me!”

Draco smiled, then snarked, “Of course, I’m an oenophile. But only if you promise to feed me some sweets as well!”

“It’s a date,” Harry laughed and Draco had a pleased blush on his face.

And if they heard some squealing and shushing coming from behind the kitchen door, they chose to ignore it.

It was past 6 pm on Saturday when Draco stepped out of the Floo at Grimmauld Place as instructed by Harry in his letter.

The house looked cheerful and airy, with large windows, light walls and comfortable furniture. It looked homey and inviting, unlike the house he had visited as a child with his mother. Harry had definitely worked on it.

“Draco, is that you? I’m in the kitchen, come on through.”

Draco followed the sound of the voice and found Harry in the kitchen icing a cake while wearing an apron that said ‘I cook as good as I look.’

“Hey, nice apron,” Draco smirked as Harry broke into a grin.

“Hi, make yourself comfortable. I’m just finishing this up.”

“What is it? Looks sinful,” Draco said.

“Our conversation the other night gave me an idea and I began working on it this morning,” Harry said as he piped the cake with concentration. “It’s a champagne cream and fresh strawberry cake. Perfect for a sweet toothed oenophile!” he declared.

“Here, taste it,” he said, cutting a slice and feeding it to Draco, then popping the rest of the piece in his mouth.

“Mmmm,” they both moaned. “This is gooood! Potter, cut me another piece.”

Harry did as told and fed the piece to Draco then peered at his face for a reaction.

“Is the balance alright? Do you think the strawberries overpower the champagne? I obviously can’t give it to my regular taste tester, Scorp, so you’ll have to do,” he rambled, then saw Draco staring at him intently and blushed. “Sorry, I get carried away sometimes.”

Draco grinned. “It’s cute… You’re cute… I mean, uh, your enthusiasm...” he petered off.

Harry stared at him with an indecipherable expression, then raised his hand to wipe off a smear of cream from the corner of Draco’s lips.

Draco’s breath hitched.

Harry hoped he’d read the situation right and whispered, “I’d like to kiss you.”

Draco nodded and closed the distance between them.

“That was amazing,” Harry panted as they broke apart.

“Strawberries and champagne are my new favourite flavour,” Draco declared, drawing out a laugh from Harry, who pressed their foreheads together.

“Mine is ‘Floral Pistachio’, it most certainly is ‘the love cake’."

This is my Wheel of Drarry Exchange gift for the lovely @hbee. I hope you enjoy this ball of fluff!

A big thank you to @crazybutgood for all the valuable help! You're a star!

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

April 2021 Picks

And we’re back with the end to another month. April! Wow! Lots more great picks to talk about this time. Lots of new ones to the list too. So, let’s dive in!

Spoiler territory ahead!

THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

or should I say Captain America and the Winter Soldier

I just finished the finale last night, so it felt right to start off with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I really enjoyed it and I feel the episodes got stronger as the series went on. Each one felt like a mini-movie and I was upset it was over and had to wait another week for another one. I think the finale was my favorite. Especially the reveal of Sam as Captain America. I love his suit, his speech and the montage of everyone watching him. The last part of the episode was definitely my favorite and one I can watch on repeat. I loved seeing happy Bucky and him goofing off with the kids in Louisiana. He deserves so much happiness as he has now accepted he’s no longer who he once was. Bucky and Sam’s relationship is fantastic and I can’t wait to see it more. I know there’s a possibility of a second season and they have to be in a future MCU movie. Regarding the villain, I feel I was confused for most of the show as to what their objective was. I’m curious if this is because they had to reshoot parts during the pandemic. I also am mad with Sharon. Like what happened with her? She is definitely the true villain of the show. I also don’t love that we haven’t seen the end of Walker (but Wyatt Russell did a fantastic job). I also loved Torres and I hope he becomes the next Falcon. Definitely so different vibes from Wandavision, but just as good!

THE IRREGULARS

This is a show that more people need to be talking about! It was SO GOOD! I feel like I heard some buzz about it when it first came out, but not much after. It follows the teens featured about who live on the streets during Victorian London. The leader of their group, Bea gets approached by Dr. John Watson (that’s right...as in Sherlock and Watson) to take on a case that has more supernatural qualities. The story takes off from there. I think the group dynamic was fantastic. There wasn’t a character I didn’t like and each one brought something else important to the group (which they even bring up towards the end of the show). [I’ve watched a few cast interviews since finishing the finale and they seem like they get along really well in real life too.] There is a kind of love triangle, but it didn’t bother me and was over fast. I did like both combinations though. Lots of twists and turns along the journey. I have no idea if there will be another season, but there should be. It didn’t end on a major cliffhanger, but definitely ended in a way where it could continue nicely. Come on Netflix. 

HBO’S THE NEVERS

From one show set in Victorian times to the next. The Nevers just premiered on HBO and HBO Max earlier this month. It follows an ensemble of characters, similar to other HBO shows, ranging from characters who are called “the touched” to men in government who are against them. Being “touched” means they have a special talent or power, which can range from healing to speaking other languages, being extremely tall, or being an expectational inventor (I seriously love Penance. I just don’t know how to explain her ability). Amalia True and Penance Adair are two of the main characters and they help bring in others who are touched to a remodeled orphanage that is a safe haven for people like them. Of course there are those who are against them existing. This seems to be at least two groups as someone is abducting and experimenting on some of the touched, but we don’t know who they are...yet. I love the fusion of a historical setting with a fantasy element. I am very excited to see where the show is headed. I also love seeing so many of my favorite British actors on the screen together.      

ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND

Time for a throw back. Fans of ABC’s Once Upon a Time might remember the short lived spin off following Alice in Wonderland (and some of Aladdin). It only lasted for one season of 13 episodes, but I remember loving it and I am so happy I can rewatch it on Disney Plus. It reminds me of why I enjoyed OUAT so much and I think this show deserved another season or more crossover with the original show. (Luckily the Knave got that opportunity.) I think it should have aired as a summer show or when OUAT was on hiatus, this way more fans would have tuned in. It is something I’ll believe forever. 

Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now... I love Alice. I think she’s a badass and a fierce warrior. If you follow some of my posts on my other blog, Lydia-yougowith-Stiles, you’ll know that I love a warrior romance and Cyrus and Alice fit that perfectly (even if they are apart for much of the series). I also love Alice’s hair and outfits. Everything about her is cool. Her relationship with the Knave is one of my favorite friendships ever. I think they balance each other out so well and how they spend most of the journey together. Back in the day, I totally shipped them, but now I definitely don’t. (Even though I don’t love Anastasia.) This is definitely worth the watch if you’ve ever heard of Once Upon a Time or not. There is very cheesy CGI especially for 2013, but once you get pass that you’ll love it. 

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

It was on a longer break than I expected, and I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would (which I know doesn’t sound good for a show), but I am still loving all the episodes this season. It feels like there are more musical numbers, which I love. Mandy Moore is killing it with the choreography. There are so many amazing moments. I also was a big fan of the newest glitch episode. Everyone is so talented and I also like that we’ve started to hear from more like Jenna and Tobin. Leif has become one of my favorites. I don’t love the new neighbor next door, but I think we’re done with his storyline. I’m not loving the Zoey love triangle, but I do like her with either Simon or Max. She seems really happy with Simon now. (FYI: I haven’t watched the most recent episode yet. The glitch one was my latest.) Can’t wait for more!    

KUNG FU

CW’s newest show this month was Kung Fu, which I just learned was a reboot. It follows Nicky who returns after 3 years to her home in San Francisco. Her family has mixed feelings as she has had no contact with them for the last 3 years. She is now a Kung Fu master and warrior, out to avenge her mentor’s death and stop a villain from acquiring mythical weapons. The show gives me Arrow vibes every time I watch it. It has similar flashbacks each episode to an earlier time in Nicky’s life. While Nicky’s mission is different, the style just gives me early seasons of Arrow vibes, which I am not complaining about. It stars Legacies’ Alyssa Chen, who I didn’t love on Legacies, but instantly fell in love with Nicky. I think she’s a bad ass character and love how she’s fighting for the underdogs on the streets of San Fran, while also taking down a bigger evil. The love triangle is heating up and I’m definitely team Henry (even though there’s some mystery there). I think he’s great and once again we have an awesome warrior romance. They balance each other so well and it’s only been like 3 episodes. Now they’ve also been sleuthing together and it’s just amazing. 

NANCY DREW

Are you sick of hearing me talk about CW’s Nancy Drew? I hope not because I’m going to fangirl again. I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH! I can’t wait till Wednesday comes and I tune in a little after it starts, so then I can fast forward on my DVR. Then when the episode is over I basically start it all over again and watch select scenes that were awesome. (More specifically, they tend to be Nancy and Ace scenes because I love them and we’re entering so much angst I don’t know if my heart will be able to handle it!!!) 

I’ll say it a thousand times: THIS CAST IS EVERYTHING! Their dynamic is amazing. You can have any match ups and it’ll be a great time. There is not one person I don’t like. I was so upset that there wasn’t a new episode last week (especially because it was my birthday). I loved the last one with the Hardy Boys and that Nace reveal! OMG! I’m so sad that Grant has left again because we barely had him, but I feel he’ll eventually come back. He has to. I loved the ending when he spoke to Thom by signing to him. (My heart!) I seriously can’t say enough great things about this show. It is not your typical CW show and deserves more love and views. So happy a third season has already been confirmed!! 

LAST NOTES

Just started Shadow and Bone on Netflix and am loving it! I’m sure I’ll have an entire post dedicated to it when I’m done. (Currently going to start episode 6.) I have no background on the universe or the books (just what my sister is filling me in with as we watch). I definitely plan on reading Six of Crows after this!

So what are you enjoying? Let me know. I’m always looking for more shows to add to the list! Can never have enough. 

[bookswritinghappiness]

Title: Some Faraway Place • Author: Lauren Shippen Series: The Bright Sessions (#3) • Number of Pages: 352 • Rating: 5/5 Published: September 28, 2021 • Read: May 18, 2021 - June 9, 2021

Content Warnings: family illness, death, imprisonment, injury, violence, manipulation

Goodreads Synopsis: Rose Atkinson’s mother can see the future. Her father can move things he doesn't touch. Her brother Aaron can read minds. And Rose, well, she makes a mean spaghetti bolognese. Everyone else in her family is Atypical, which means they manifested an ability that defies the limits of the human experience. At nineteen, well past the average age of manifestation, Rose is stuck defending her decision not to go to college and instead working in the kitchen of a local restaurant, hoping to gain the experience she needs to become a chef. When a rollerblading accident sends her to the hospital, she meets a girl she can't forget and she starts to feel like maybe her life isn't quite so small. But when she starts falling asleep mid-conversation, she thinks, then again maybe I’m doomed to never have good things. Rose should be happy to learn that she’s Atypical after all—that diving into dreams makes her a part of her family in the way she always wanted. But the more time she spends in the dreamworld, the more complicated her ability becomes. Trying to balance her work, her power, and a girlfriend who doesn’t know about Atypicals, Rose seeks help. But she soon discovers that being Atypical comes with dangers she never could have imagined. Even her carefully constructed dreamworld isn’t safe. This is the story of Atypical Rose, who discovers that your dreams coming true isn’t always a good thing.

My Review: I received a digital ARC of this book from Tor Teen via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I had the honor of getting a physical ARC of the first book in the series from Lauren herself back in 2019, and I’m a huge fan of the original The Bright Sessions podcast and its spinoffs, so I was super super excited to read Some Faraway Place early!! This one is extra special to me - there aren’t many queer Jewish characters in YA (let alone plus-sized queer Jewish characters), and they definitely don’t have many opportunities to be on the book cover, so when I heard Rose was getting her own book and then later saw the cover, I was just so happy. Needless to say, I was just as happy (if not more so) when I read it : )

Rose doesn’t get a lot of “screen” time in the original podcast, so getting a more in-depth look into her story and her ability was awesome!! It was especially cool getting to see her gradual discovery of her ability and how her relationship with her family changes as a result. Out of the three TBS novels, this one is definitely the most jam packed - not only does it include Rose, her dreamworlds, and her developing relationship with Emily, but it also includes characters from the previous two novels, some more significantly than others. But, because everything in this universe is connected in more ways than we will ever realize, it all works together well. There is a lot of grey morality in Some Faraway Place, and it definitely got darker at times than I was expecting, but all of those moments were perfectly balanced with the lighter aspects of the book - Rose’s relationship with Emily, her love for her cooking, her humor, her pleasant dreamscapes, etc.

Another aspect I loved was the variety of narration - most of the book is standard prose, but there are also social media posts and letters sprinkled throughout as well. They reveal important pieces of the characters and allow the reader to see some of the novel’s events from other perspectives… and they have so many easter eggs and fandom references, which was super fun for me since I know the podcast so well : ) But do not fear - people will still be able to enjoy and understand everything even without having listened to the podcast.

Lauren Shippen is one of the most incredible writers, and Some Faraway Place is a perfect sendoff and love letter to the TBS universe. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to read it early, and I’m so excited for everyone to get to read it in September : )

Some Faraway Place on Goodreads This Review on Goodreads My Goodreads Some Faraway Place on StoryGraph This Review on StoryGraph My StoryGraph

Purchase this book from Bookshop using my affiliate link to support indie bookstores while helping me earn a commission at no extra cost to you!!

[kuronanox]

I can’t let go-Nozel

(Authors note: This may be angst or maybe not haha I've been in the mood! Also I've been a huge ass simp for Fuegoleon and Nozel! Help I can't like them both)

"I can't stand the sight of commoners talking to royals like it's their business." Nozel sneers in disgust as him, Fuegoleon and (Your Name) stood all side by side and watched the party go on in the ballroom.

"I'm basically a commoner!" (Your Name) tells Nozel with a grin as he rolled his eyes. She wore a regal dark green dress and her hair was curled elegantly. The shining gold around her neck and ears. She was definitely royalty to him.

"Adopted into royalty." He said in a matter of fact. "So it makes you royal." He adds ignoring the way she looked at him with amusement.

"You just won't admit you like a good for nothing commoner like me!" She stuck her tongue out and joined some of them into the dance floor.

"Always so harsh on your words." Fuegoleon chuckles as he watches the young teenage girl dance with some squad members.

Nozel shrugs as his braid moved along side with it. The two teens watched for a moment of silence before Fuegoleon broke the silence.

"I've been meaning to tell her about my feelings."

Nozel froze in his spot, his rival was interested in (Your Name). "Why does that matter to me." He plays it off and knits his brows growing bitter after each minute passes.

"I was just going to ask how you felt since she is technically a commoner... not that it matters to me." Fuegoleon adds with a smile of warmth staring at her as she smiled back at him with a grin and she slightly lost balanced but laughed it off.

Nozel felt jealous of how fond they were together. "I don't care what you do in your love life. It doesn't concern me."

Nozel was staring into space as he heard a knock on his office door. "Come in."

"Im sorry I needed advice." The Crimson Lion Captain says in a rush as he took a seat across from the desk. Fuegoleon looked as if he was sweating a ton and he didn't sleep that night.

"What is it?" Nozel sighs and signs off some papers he still hadn't finished.

"(Your Name) is back and I don't know what to do! I mean we've been together since we were 18 but I want to celebrate it! She's coming home after so many years!"

Nozel clutched his knees a bit and let go before rolling his eyes. "She should stay in that nonsense village and go live with those commoners she helps all the time." He adds with malice and a coldness that lingered in his heart.

Fuegoleon was silent before taking his leave. "I don't know why you are so bitter about her? Has she done you wrong in some way?"

"No." Nozel states and looks back up to his rival. "Many has done me wrong but I won't say to what it is... Now! I have a lot of paper work so if you wish to talk more nonsense to me I suggest to go to someone else."

"Well ...you are always welcome to visit her when she gets back." Fuegoleon invites Nozel before taking a leave.

"Nozel! Guess what?!" She cheerfully says to him as they walked around the kingdom doing small task for their captains.

"What is it?"

"Me and Fuegoleon are dating!"

He doesn't say a word and continues to walk, what could he say? Congratulations? I'm so happy for you? No he couldn't because that's not how he felt. As much as he despite the relationship he could never stoop so low to tell her how he felt now. It was to late.

"Are you happy?"

"Always!"

(Your Name) smelt the air of the Clover Kingdom and sighed in happiness. She was glad to be home again after being away for so long. After helping the less unfortunate and other villages she decided it was time to head home and be with the ones she loved.

Walking into the entrance of the the Crimson Lion base she spotted her favorite person in the world waiting with open arms.

She grinned as Fuegoleon looked back at her with longing eyes. She dropped her bags running towards his embrace. "I've missed you." (Your Name) whispers into his neck as he kissed her head. "I've missed you too love."

"It's been to long, I can't believe we lasted this long." She exclaimed as he picked up her bags from the floor. "I never doubted us." He tells her with a wink as they walked linked together into the base.

"(Your Name)!" Leopold yells running towards her with full speed and gives her a bear hug. She laughs and hugs the boy back. "You've grown little one!"

"Of course! I can't wait to show you how strong I've been!"

"I can't wait!" She says to him as he jumps excitingly like a little kid again. "Where's Mereoleona?" She adds.

"She wanted to come see you but you know she's doing Mereoleona things right now." Fuegoleon says slyly as they settled in.

Nozel frowned as he looked up to the Crimson Lion base. He really didn't want to see them together being all lovely dovey yet he missed her dearly. He was cold to her at times but he didn't know how to show he cared.

He wasn't surprised to see there was a spot saved for him at the table. They were close friends for a long time till she left to help the villages.

"Nozel!" She yells with excitement in her eyes as she rushed towards him and gave him a big hug. "I didn't know if you would show up!"

"Of course, I had to see this stupid girl after so many years away." He warmly smiled at her as she held his hands and grinned before showing him to his spot.

"I'm glad you came. She was asking for you." Fuegoleon tells Nozel with a happy smile. It was as if they were teenagers again.

"She really asked for me." He thought sadly with a warm feeling.

"I wrote letters but you never got back to me." She says as the banquet continued.

He hesitantly tried to say something before he made up a lie quickly. "I'm sorry, I don't think I ever got them."

It happened at the young age of 24 Nozel was starting to get tired of his endless emotions he felt for (Your Name). He was on a night walk to clear his thoughts when he heard familiar giggles from ahead of him.

"Stop! Someone might see us!" She tells Fuegoleon as he shakes his head, chuckles and grabs her waist to pull her closer. "Shh no one will, stop screaming then." He says as she gives him a small smirk.

"I didn't think Mr.Serious could loosen up a bit."

"Stop teasing." He blushes and kisses her cheek.

Nozel was fuming with anger as he watched the two interrupt his thoughts. He wanted to escape the two only to find them acting like children.

"Let's go home and finish this then." She tells Fuegoleon and he pouts a bit wanting to see the beautiful sky that night. Ignoring her statement he pulls her into a passionate kiss to which she returns before he nods and guides her back.

"Insufferable." Nozel says bitterly as he makes way back home with a heavy heart.

"Are you okay? You've been tightly holding your fork for a while." She calmly guides him back to reality. Nozel clears his throat and continues to eat. "I'm fine, I was just thinking about a new method to train my squad."

"Well me and Fuegoleon have exciting news! We might be trying for some kids now!"

"I get Nieces and Nephews! Woohoo I'm going to be the coolest uncle!" Leopold cheers as some fire comes off of him from excitement. "How many how many?!" He begged to know.

"As much as (Your Name) will let me have." Fuegoleon respectfully says giving her hand a light squeeze as she returned the favor.

Nozel stayed silent the whole time trying hard to be happy but nothing was working. "I just forgot I have to be up early tomorrow, I will take my leave. I give you my early congratulations." He says and walks off.

"I'll see you off." Fuegoleon says and walks side by side with Nozel. There was silence between the two and it was getting uncomfortable for the both of them to break it. "Why did you lie to her?"

"I didn't lie." Nozel grits his teeth and looks forward.

"I saw her letters on your desk before."

"Why do you care so much. We are adults now, I chose who I wish to contact." Nozel says sighing in expiratation.

"I only wish you told me how you felt about her before we got together." The older man says with guilty eyes. "I would never wish you pain even though you are my rival."

"I know you knew, I didn't think you'd bring it up."

Fuegoleon stops walking ahead and watches as Nozel silhouette disappears through the night. He truly never meant to hurt his friend and companion.

Dear Nozel,

It's been so long, I'm not sure if you have gotten my letters but I reassure you that when I get back things will go back to as when we were kids! I can't wait to go on adventures with everyone again unless I plan other things back home. The village side is beautiful, I only wished you could see it too. The grass is so green and the air is so fresh compared to the kingdom. I hope you've found someone by now, a girl that can handle that attitude of yours! Hmph I know you will make her the happiest she's ever been. Over protective, cold but caring and kind. The greatest treasure someone could have would be you Nozel. Lighten up a bit and let go. I'll see you soon.

Nozel sits on his desk reading all the letter she's ever sent him and sorrowfully burns them in his fire place. Her heart was too connected to another to see how much Nozel wanted her.

Maybe he could find someone, but you don't find love you just fall into it.

(Authors note: Angst? Also please leave some characters you would like me to write!)

[peakyxtommy]

Last First Birthdays

Summary: Tommy & you celebrating your last child’s first birthday. You’re sad that the kids are growing up. Tommy provides a listening ear. 

Warnings: All Pure Fluff, slight mention of birth/pre-term labor. 

A/N: I am not a doctor, but did do some research. Enjoy, I loved writing this. Soft Tommy & Tommy with kids is my forever weakness. 

Word Count: 2.4K 

Today was a special day. Your last born was having his first birthday today. Attius James Shelby.

“Look at the birthday boy.” You coo, your fingers patting your son’s stomach as he releases a small squeal, happy to see your face. He had just awoken from his pre-party nap.

You dressed him in his 1st birthday onesie, khaki shorts, and clipped his pacifier to his top, which would come in handy later. His little blue orbs stare into your eyes, as you stand him up on his changing table, before lifting him into your arms.

“Let’s go find your dad and siblings.” You peck his forehead, brushing your hand over his brown curly locks. You walk down the stairs, to see the hustle and bustle of the last minute platters of food and drinks being placed. 

You walk into the living room to see Henry, your eldest son reading a book on the couch. Lydia, your second child with cards in her hands, slapping one down against the carpet. While Tom sits on the floor with Maeve, your third child, assisting her while laughing at something she says.

“Who’s ready for the birthday boy?” You speak gaining their attention.

“Me! I can’t wait for cake.” Lydia screams with excitement causing Maeve to scrunch her face up in annoyance at her sister.

“I am going to play with Jonas. He’s bringing his new card game over.” Henry responds, closing his book.

“Mummy we sing for Atty, right.” Maeve asks, calling her brother by his nickname, not able to pronounce his full name.

“Yes we will sing and have one slice of cake each. I will be watching.” You wag your finger playfully at Lydia. All the while your husband sits with a smirk on his face, his eyes fully enticed with yours. The doorbell rings, causing the kids to scramble to greet their family and poor Tom left with cleaning up the card game, but it wasn’t new to him with a house with four kids.

“Looks like you need some help Mr. Shelby. Bones of yours are getting old.” You tease, earning an eye roll, as he leans himself gently into you, as your free hand helps him off the floor.  

“Keep it up while it lasts, you are right behind me.” He chuckles pulling you into his side. “You look lovely, dress suits you well. Always a beaut.”

“Why thank you, my love.” Your lips press against his cheek.

“Let’s go birthday lad, we have to spend time with our crazy family.” You laugh as he takes your son from your arms, fingers entwined with yours as you make your way to the backyard. - The party was a smash. It was an overall great day with your’s and Tommy’s family and a few close friends. You hoped Tom was able to get Lydia to bed because she had a sweet tooth almost as bad as you, knowing someone gave that girl a second piece of cake (John), which was more unnecessary sugar the girl needed in her system, hoping she wouldn’t have a stomach ache from all the treats today.

Atticus enjoyed being passed around, trying cake for the first time, and being more interested in the wrapping paper than the presents. You took enough photos to last a lifetime.  

As you rock your son asleep in his rocker you mind couldn’t help but think back to what a year it had really been since he was brought into the world, a miracle really. You couldn’t take your eyes off the photos you would switch out periodically (as you took new ones) around his bedroom. Keeping the same ones you took of him when he was just born, when he arrived home, family photos throughout the year. The images floating in your head. The memories forever imprinted in your mind.

He was born eight weeks early in September.This pregnancy came as a surprise as you and Tommy weren’t expecting to have any more as your hands were full with three kids already. You both weren’t getting any younger. 

When you told your husband the news, he took it in stride, telling you how excited he was, despite the chaos of his world around you. All your pregnancies so far were a breeze but this one was stressful. Tommy tried his best to be home, get extra help around the home with the children, and get your older two children to be more helpful when possible.

Your water broke 8 weeks early and you had to have an emergency c-section. Tom was by your side through it all panicking on the inside but putting a brave front on for you. He wheeled you to the NICU to see your small infant son with tubes hooked up to him. Learning how to connect with him through the two small holes of the incubator. That was the start of a journey, for the family.

It definitely put a strain on your marriage of having Tommy balance work, the kids, and taking time visiting the hospital and helping you recover. Both your families provided as much support as possible. The car ride home was nerve wracking having to remember all this information and doing this without the help of the nurses.

Atticus settled in pretty quick to the environment and his siblings who would come to say goodnight to their little brother. It would be hard to sleep during the night with either one of always getting up to check on him, even if he was just sleeping peacefully. He was a little behind his milestones which was to be expected but each step of the way was worth it. He was growing healthily, was able to say little phrases, and was getting closer to walking. He was the calmest out of all your children and easy going.

Your heart was happy to celebrate his first birthday. All your children’s birthdays made you emotional, as you knew they weren’t going to stay young - little - forever. As much as you both wanted them to. This one was the last first birthday you were going to celebrate, as you weren’t planning on having anymore children. Atticus like the rest of your kids were going to grow on their way to independence and need you less and less. You knew you had to let them find their way in this beautiful but cruel world.

“Knew I'd find you in here.” His voice brings comfort to your heart as he whispers to you in the dim lighting across the room, opening the door, just leaving it cracked a bit.

“The rest of the crew are finally to bed and remind me to slap John on the back of his head the next time I spot him for giving Lydia a second piece of cake.” His head shakes with a roll of the eyes as he paces across the floor, to take half a seat on the arm of the rocking chair. You can’t help the smile that plays on your lips.

“Those two are as thick as thieves, poor lad can never say no to her. Spoils her rotten, like the rest of your siblings do to all our kids.” You reply knowing all the Shelby siblings loved all your children equally, each one having similarities to them all, but knew which children brought a weakness or were closer to their uncles/aunt.

It’s quiet for a moment, just the two of you, staring at your sleeping son in your arms. “You know he’s not going anywhere, none of them are. They’re always going to need you, need us. Hell, even I'll need you when I'm old and grey.” His lips peck the top of your head, fingers squeezing your shoulder with gentle reassurance.

He knew you like the back of his hand. His words rang true in your mind and heart, knowing this wasn’t the first time he found you in this spot, with the same thoughts, that come along with parenthood.

You wanted old and grey with Tom, you wanted to believe in it, even though you both knew it wasn’t promised not in his world especially. You were blessed with him thus far, this man aged like fine wine the older he got. You could tell he was getting older in trying to keep up with the energy of the kids, the glasses you adored, and the crow’s feet that was starting to make an appearance.

“I know, just working myself up over the small things. I know we don’t have to worry but I do. Just want to make sure everything will go right. Henry is going to be a teen soon, that boy is too smart for his own good. Lydia is just as stubborn as you are and free-spirited but reminds me of you. Maeve is sweet and our little helper, she’s only just started preschool. Both of them wrapped around your finger in different ways.

I accepted it then in my mind after Maeve but then Atticus came along. I think about the what if’s of that day, the weeks passed, but then I'm reminded of today. How it all feels right and complete. It all goes by so fast, I just want to hold on to this moment, ya know.”

He listens to your continuous thought, walking through it as you speak your mind. You were a deep thinker and took everything to heart because you cared so much. It was the little things that added up. That made life sweeter than the grand things. That was one of the things he loved the most about you, the thing that attracted him from the very beginning of your relationship. He doesn’t miss the quiet tears that release gently out your eyes, the smallness of your wet voice.

He knows what you mean because he has the same thoughts, even though he doesn’t always share them. He has enough nerves for his lifetime and lines in his forehead to prove it.

Henry the eldest reminded him of the earlier years of your relationship. Young, in love, just starting out. The excitement of your first born. He knew after Henry was born, he would do everything in his power to stay alive. He was smart, a leader, and enjoyed spending time with his cousins. He was a younger version of himself, but better. He was glad for it.

Lydia came a few years later and she took his heart when his blue eyes met her brown ones. She was a handful from the start (she was definitely his daughter). She reminded him of Ada in her sass and the mouth on her but also John as she was the child that brought the most laughter and entertainment to the family as she was extroverted. They would enjoy being silly together and tease you to no end.

Maeve was like you in all ways, sweet, loving, and ready to help the best way a 4 year old can. She was a shy girl but was definitely a daddy’s girl. Always searching for him when he was away or would try to sweet talk her way to stay up to see him before bed or read her an extra story. Would make herself comfortable in his home office to play with her toys or find a way to sit on his lap as he did paperwork. She would always ask him the sweetest of things or most serious things, trusting whatever answer left his mouth. He had the hardest time telling her no.

Atticus came as a surprise but in the best of ways. His birth changed something within him. Thomas Shelby wasn’t a religious man by any means, but when he watched his son get wheeled away by the nurses and was watching him through the big glass window the first few hours of his life, he prayed hard for the first time, in a long time, since he was 18. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing a child, let alone losing you.

He remembers your tears as he wheeled you to meet your son for the first time. Him reassuring you and himself, that it was all going to be okay. It was this child that made him slow down the most and rethink his priorities, putting them in check once again. These past two years were hard business and family wise. Managing the logistics of expanding and meetings, risky deals/death threats, raising 4 kids, with two under the age of 5 and in need of constant attention.

Handling the nerves of it all, your/his moods, and the tiffs you both would get in due to sleep deprivation, late nights working, stubbornness on both ends, or just not having a minute alone together or for intimacy. Moments like these, in the quiet night of his home with you and the children at peace made it worth every minute of the day. Made him want to be around even longer, even though it wasn’t necessarily promised.  

“I do too love, I know.” His fingers brush the sleeping infant’s cheeks, watching as he snuggles subconsciously closer in your arms. He knew he didn’t have to say much because in that small phrase communicated all you needed to know, to hear. The both you could read one another like a book where it speaks for itself.

“Come let’s get to bed.” He hums, blue eyes shimmering with affection, as his lips turn upward in one of your favorite smiles, reserved just for you. His soft lips press against yours lightly into just a small peck. The pads of his soft fingers, brushing against your wet cheeks to collect this remainder of the tears. He stands to his feet, holding the chair still as you get up to place your son into his crib.

“Goodnight, sweet Atticus. We love you.” You whisper, feeling the warmth of Tommy wrap around your frame, chin resting on your shoulder, fingers tangling together, bands touching as you both stare down at your sleeping son.

You knew that everything was going to be okay. Even though you weren’t going to be celebrating anymore first birthdays in your household, you knew every birthday after would still be as special as the last one. You always made sure of it as you loved celebrating birthdays as much as holidays. You had all you needed within yourself, the man you loved dearly, and the four sleeping children you called your own.  

[geekwithoutafandom]

Thoughts on Buffy Summers:

Some of this is gonna sound like rehash from my intial BtVS post and of disclaimer of these are just intial thoughts from first watch through.

Buffy is probably the first major protagonist I've really identified with. To be honest I feel like this shows some personal growth as I'm lifetime side kick / best friend/ side character identifier. The idea of power, responsibility, or being chosen are things I eschew or take so seriously I want no more. I usually do not think enough of myself to be a lead character. To me it shows I'm actually taking some control and agency in my life.

Now high school Buffy is the version I identify most with. Being an only child of a single mother Buffy's dynamic with Joyce was something that really hit home with me. Their love, the closeness and the fights. Like even down to the "then don't come back" fight b/c I have a personal parallel for that. However I will say this their dynamic is not one of a recently divorced set of parents. Like season one is not consistent with that unless Buffy's dad was rarely around to begin with.

While I know Buffy is framed as could be popular if she wanted to be but has different priorities now. I think it important to note that she's designed flip a different trope on its head. That it's usually the pretty blonde girl that gets chased by the monster/murder. (This has lead to many debates with my best friend about female protagonists me: all the powerful protags are brunette I'm always stuck with being the dumb blonde her: what are you talking about all the cool protags are blonde I'm stuck being the brunette best friend) However Buffy being more drawn to the "outcast" kids is another thing I relate too. I'm a pretty vanilla personality I get a long with most people just fine but I'm shy ( and fat and uncoordinated) so I usually ended up with the misfits but honestly I liked it that way. Much like how Buffy's slaying made her feel like a weird outsider.

Buffy is not stupid she might speak like a teen girl, but when given the chance you can see her put pieces together, make quick in the moment decisions and even be insightful and get decent grades. Buffy's difficulty balancing school and slaying and the resulting trauma really parallels some one who struggling with a learning disability. We're not stupid we just have different needs. While didn't struggle with grades til college it still at times made me feel alienated from my peers (not smart enough for the gifted kids but "too smart" for everyone else)

I think it's also important to note that Buffy is a very insecure person I know Xander an Willow are a bit more visible with that flaw, but Buffy has it too. I mean almost all teens and young adults do irl too. She is constantly seeking validation in her romantic relationships and that weird prom queen arc. Also that whole inferiority complex about her superiority complex ugh I felt that's so real. Reminds me of the time in middle school where I thought I was gonna get an award and because I was like "I'm gonna get it it's me" I didn't want it. Also the class making up a special award for me like Buffy's class made for her thing happened too. This was separate from the first one.

I do think they lost the plot sometimes with Buffy's depression and trauma processing by season 6/7. Like these things make her an enigmatic and empathic character. But in the later seasons it kinda falls flat. Like I know irl plateaus happen and it's rough but I still think they could have made it more dynamic. Buffy definitely ends up being a narrative punching bag and later on so Dawn. Like that coupled with the amount of interviews from the time where SMG admits to Joss making her cry, how did we NOT realize he was an ass hat???

While early Buffy tends to deeply internalize, later Buffy also tends to act out sexually (similarities are ending here). When she spirals she attempts to keep everything private. This is where I really love here friendship with Willow. They are very much two sides of the same coin. Willow deals with a lot of insecurities and and trauma not too dissimilar to Buffy's. But she handles it very differently. Willow leans on what is an allegory for substances and tends to be a bit of hurricane. Which these are the two major camps for maladaptive behavior. You either implode or explode.

But it was nice to finally see what my best friend sees in me as she has previously compared me to Buffy...

However then I remember she didn't know me when my cousin died unexpectedly or when I had a major depressive episode.... And maybe this is a good lead in for a Willow post...

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 18 + short Ep 1-17 english dub recap

AND I'M BACK WITH THE MADNESS.

Took a bit of a break from the Fruits Basket recaps because life happened and I wanted to focus a bit more on my art career and my webcomic. But, I came to miss doing the recaps! So, I'm gonna try and finish season 2 and do some of the left over recaps now in time for when Season 3 drops!

I HAVE however been re-watching the older episodes of Fruits Basket Season 2 with the english dub this time and I have a few notes!:

A shoutout to the wording used in the Yuki 'confession' scene on the beach with Tohru. However, in the sub the confession came across a lot more like platonic love to me and in the dub the confession came across a lot more romantic. (Especially in the episode after where Yuki says he doesn't regret kissing Tohru lol)

Laura Bailey stays killing it as Tohru. All the little vocal inflections are so freakin cute and make her sound more human! But that also speaks to the editing as well which is great. The balance between a little naive and scared and yet strong and determined in her scene with Akito was... amazing.

(Also... all of Akito’s most violent and hurtful moments are when it’s dark... I dunno I just found that cool and interesting lol)

Jerry Jewell in EPISODE 9?!?! His scene with Akito always gets me regardless but Jerry Jewell's performance was heartbreaking! Ah, I could cry. (I did) The little shake he did while declaring he wasn't in love with Tohru because he can't say that shit actually truthfully? 😩 Also... is he intentionally making Kyo’s voice sound a little deeper? It definitely sounded like it in that episode with Kagura. I like!!

While I LOATHE Akito, Colleen Clinkenbeard is amazing, I've never heard her sound this sneakingly evil! And yet... it's slightly carefree too. Reminds me a lot of Shigure. As I said before, Akito and Shigure's english VAs pair up so nicely in audible form.

I love how flirty Hatori was in the English dub when it came to him and Mayu’s episode. It was a really lovely performance from Kent Williams :) I always read that scene of Hatori just being friendly when asking Mayu out to get something to eat but this was a whole other wonderful take!!! <3

I LOVE KIMI TODO’S ENGLISH VA’S PERFORMANCE OMG. THANK YOU, CHERAMAI LEIGH 🤣

Kakeru’s English VA continues to sound cuter and cuter... 😘 Whassup, Aaron Dimsuke? I kid, lol

I lovee the fact that Haru calls Yuki ‘fragile and kind’ (two typically feminine presenting descriptions) and Yuki took it as a compliment! I dunno about the description of fragile as many people could take that offensively, regardless of gender, but the way it’s explained here it’s almost like he’s describing him as precious?... Coulda went with that instead...

I like the decisions for the moments where Mikaela Krantz emphasises on Momiji’s put on German accent and when she tones it down and return to his natural voice

But anyways... lol, this episode was... a LOT. Not an easy breezy one for me to come back to at all... I’ll be watching the english dub.

TIME TO DIVE BACK IN!

-------------------------------------------

- Hiro's so cute at the start of this episode talking about his sibling and how he wants to look out for his mum. Of course, it's in the most Hiro of ways but this scene definitely warmed me up to him a lot more :)

Hiro’s mum is like a future Tohru, haha

That hair animation they give Rin is always great 😂 I hope Takaya-sensei is proud.

It’s so curious how Hiro speaks so honestly and true to Rin yet is so careful of her emotions. He’s never really been like this with anyone but Kisa, especially not the other teens or adults. It kinda shows how much seeing what happened to Rin by Akito’s hands really got to him and traumatised him. Of course, Hiro’s not just doing this because of his trauma but cos he genuinely cares!

- I noticed that there was a slight parallel between Hiro + Kisa and Rin + Haru. Kinda highlights why breaking the curse is important to Hiro and gives more reason as to why that event with Rin and Akito freaked him out.

- I dunno if this is intentional or just an animation glitch but I’ve noticed that in that long panning shot in the opening theme that closes into Yuki, Tohru and Kyo looking at the sunset, it looks like Kyo’s experession kinda ‘glitches’ in between a smile and a stoic look. Again, I don’t know if it was intentional, but I like to think it’s as a little show of Kyo not really managing to attain true happiness fully (for now anyway).

- (Also, I think that this opening song might come third in my list of most favourite opening songs in Fruits Basket history!!! <3<3<3)

- I’m super glad that Shigure and Rin scene didn’t go any further than it needed to... 👀 but the fact that Rin thought ‘Gure would be up for using her body as a bargaining chip says more about Shigure than Rin in my humble opinion...

Self-loathing? From Shigure? Unexpected. Empathy? For him? A little.

...Damn it.

🤣

I’m sorry. This scene is very gorgeous, well lit and beautiful and dramatic. But, I can’t not laugh at how early 00s gothic romance this is! But, I love it. It’s sweet and probably the first ‘raunchy’ scene we’ve gotten in this anime, ooo la! But, that kiss animation was kinda awkward for me, sorry. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I hate that Rin is AGAIN getting Outfit Appreciation Award when she’s literally killing herself with stress and worry but... amazing wardrobe as always. 5 stars.

Is it just me or does every zodiac member see Tohru as a parental figure or associate her with motherhood, except for Kyo?... 

*mentally notes essay of Tohru being the depiction of being a ‘merciful God’ compared to Akito being the decpiction of being a ‘vengeful God’*

Heartbreaking. 

but... WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE TO HAVE PARENTAL ISSUES?!

Also, Briana Palencia in this scene was amazing. Everyone is so, so good in this show! Dub and sub!!

...I totally forgot about this bit of Rin’s backstory. I love that they really highlighted how drastic the change was from happy family to an abusive household. Obviously, there must have been some cracks in the frame of the happy family and Rin as a child was inquisitive enough to see them. ...Only for her to be later punished for it. 

Kazuma!!! He and Tohru just be constantly saving these zodiac kids, man.

- Rin’s parents might just be at the same level as Kyo’s dad on the ‘WORST PARENTS OF THE ZODIAC CHILDREN’ list. Well... until later...

🥺💝

Beginning to understand why they’re so attached and bonded to each other now. <3

- Also, lowkey, Kagura’s mum is great! From her protecting Kagura from going to the beach house because of Akito to her taking Rin in without question! And she seemed completely cool with Kyo too! Yay to good parents in anime!!!

- The confession scene between Haru and Rin is so pure and blunt yet romantic and just... so them <3

- I’m not even gonna put any screencaps from the final scene with Akito because I find Akito is just disgusting. But, really? Pushing someone off the balcony?! I mean... I remember why Akito’s feelings for Rin are so strong and darkly intense but I still can’t excuse their actions. I kinda don’t like that they presented this very abusive and violent moment as... poetic? I mean, it matches Rin’s ‘style’, I guess? But... this is just someone going past the limit.

- And her landing like that on the conveniently pointy stone? I was surprised she didn’t damage her spine...

----------------------------------------------------------

I’m so happy I’m watching Fruits Basket again! This anime really is the best! And it DESERVEDLY won Best Drama at the CrunchyRoll Anime Awards! Yayyyyy! Sorry, if this ended on a weird note, I did enjoy this episode. Just a very dark one to return to 😅

See you... soon? Haha!

[readingaccountability]

snow crash - neal stephenson

my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)

final thoughts:

okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.

the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.

one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.

however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.

the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.

y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,

i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)

please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.

i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!

honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.

the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.

and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.

i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)

ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.

howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.

the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.

[shifuaang]

Which of your fics...

Tagged by @praetorqueenreyna! Thank you so much for tagging me, I feel so honored! Just a warning to my new friends and followers that the majority of these fics will be Game of Thrones/ASOIAF because (believe it or not), I didn’t start writing ATLA fic until this year. If that’s not to your interest, I will make sure to tag appropriately so it doesn’t show up on your feed. Also your fics sound amazing, and I can’t wait to read them!

Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got: Definitely Winter to Spring, which is actually a transcription of a long-running tumblr RP that I wrote with my best friend @robb-stark. We archived it on AO3 just so that we would have an easier time reading it. I really didn’t think anyone else would sit down and actively choose to read an almost 700,000 word fic for such a niche pairing (Robb x Margaery), but it has the most hits/reviews of all of my fics.

Is your funniest: I’m not going to link it because I do not endorse some of my terrible early days of fic writing on fanfiction dot net (if you really want to find it, you can seek it out), but Five Times Blair Complained About Dan’s Hair [and the one time she cut it] is some good shit. 

Is your darkest/angstiest: I write so much angst, and I didn’t realize that until just now. I think the darkest might be The Winter Maid because it follows ASOIAF’s canon, and thematically it made sense to stick with the darkness of the canon. The basic premise is Robb surviving The Red Wedding in which his mother/wife/companions are killed and he’s held captive for a year, so it gets pretty bleak at points.

Is your absolute favorite: Probably I’ll Be Seeing You. I think it has such a good balance of dialogue/action/romance/emotion, and the way Robb and Margaery fall in love in this piece in particular feels very organic. 

Is your least favorite: Like everything I wrote as a teen. I’m also not keen on some of the ones that are smutty without much plot. 😂 I think they came from a place of being deprived of canon material about enthusiastic consent and female pleasure when I was younger (which is fair), but the older I get, the more I find smut boring. I skip over it if I ever reread my fics.

Was the easiest to write: I feel like I speed wrote Tell Me a Story. It was just a very natural process once I figured out the formatting/plot. It also helped that I had a deadline as it was written as a birthday gift.

Was the hardest to write: The ones I still haven’t finished. Firelight started off so well, but I am having the hardest time completing the final chapter, I think because the characters are separated and there is a lot of summarizing of events to do. (Not my forte.) 

Has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph (share it): 

“In the distance, the sound of a pipe drifts through the air, and soon it is joined by a collection of voices and the words to a song she does not know. It is neither happy nor sad; she does not know if it is in celebration of their victory or in mourning of their loss. But it reminds her of home – of bards and harps and fiddlers, of deep, soothing voices and dancing flowers in the breeze. Perhaps this is why she never liked the silence; she would sooner hear the croon of a dog or the clang of two swords than nothing at all. Her life was filled with music before she came to this foreign place.” - from Winter Dahlia

Have you re-read the most: The Seasons of My Love. The only reason I didn’t put this as my favorite is because, objectively, it’s not the best written. The pacing is off because the last chapter is extremely long and fluffy. 🙈  But listen - it makes me happy, so that’s all that matters.

Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time: Yours, definitely. If you are looking for something a little shorter (Yours is 15,000+ words lol), The Ghosts That We Knew or Tell Me A Story are good introduction fics. (Both under 5,000 words.)

Are you most proud of: This is difficult to say, but I’m going to go with either I’ll Be Seeing You or Yours. I feel like the pacing of these two is just right, and the uniqueness of the former makes it really stand out to me. To take the world of ASOIAF and plop it into a 1940s sci-fi AU was not an easy task, but I am so proud of the ideas that @robb-stark and I came up with. Yours is very dear to me because I wrote it seven whole years ago and feel like it still stands up; I’m still kind of in awe that I wrote it when I was only 20. 

Thanks again for the tag! I think all of my lovely ATLA friends have already been tagged, but if one of you missed out on this, feel free to do it!

[holyhikari]

Okay. Okay. It’s 2020, most of the world is shut down and the first episode of Digimon Adventure aired yesterday, missing a ‘Butter-Fly’ and with a colon to spare. Life sure is something. 

Gotta say I’m relieved. (For now, at least.) Sure, yeah, I got into the hype train for the reboot from the get-go and determined to just have fun, but. If I can picture all the ways something can go wrong — go BORING — down to excruciating details right from the first episode, why not? That’s what brains are for. So that’s what I did. 

Should have saved all that energy. 

I want to share with all of you my thoughts on this episode, break it down a little bit; how it made me feel, the few character introductions we got, the pace, the plot and its possibilities. 

As much as I want to approach this series keeping the idea of authenticity in mind, it is a reboot. They chose a certain set of (popular!) pre-existent characters to explore, to work with; a balance between creating and adapting. And I’m very interested in seeing how they’ll combine the core elements of Digimon Adventure with all there is unique to this generation of kids, teens and, you know it, adults who stuck around. 

Since all we’ve got is the introduction to the series, I’ll be contrasting TOKYO DIGITAL CRISIS to how the original Adventure kicked off back in 1999 with  ADRIFT? THE ISLAND OF ADVENTURE!

I did try to keep this as coherent and review-like as possible, but there’s a fair amount of fan-girling and it’s all seen through my very biased Adventure-stan-colored lens. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. 

‘99 starts with an image of our planet, and  ‘20 starts almost the same. This time, though, we can see we aren’t alone. ‘The Digital World affecting the Earth’ is something that happens, I believe, in every Digimon reincarnation. In ‘99, it’s deeply affecting our climate. Now, the issue doesn’t seem so drastic that it’s able to reach influence organic matter and mess up many Nature’s cycles across the globe, but it’s still not looking so good for our kids. (It’s the first episode and Hikari and Yuuko almost get train-sandwiched, but I suppose that almost having your head chopped off, courtesy of Kuwagamon, isn’t lovely either.) 

Anyway. 

I think this Digital World/Network shot isn’t actually part of the episode? I think it’s part of the opening (I mean, not the OP sequence with the song, obviously), and that we’ll be seeing it before each episode starts. Still, it’s an interesting juxtaposition, isn’t it?

A Glorious World is upon us! I wasn’t actually expecting Butter-Fly or anything similar to it, don’t worry. I’m glad the new OP is its own thing! I want Digimon Adventure ‘20 to be as authentic as possible without losing the original’s heart. The song is nice enough. I don’t want to compare it to Butter-Fly, but I’m only human. Give me a few episodes. Gotta let go. 

The OP has way more Taichi than the others. No surprise there. He’s our goggle boy. (Still, since they went for a quick throwback to the original opening, it’s a shame only Taichi was shown falling down towards the Digital World). 

Everyone got a part, though. Shout out to Takeru and Hikari for being yet again the ominous, powerful baby-faced duo that is definitely up to something. 

It’s so interesting that, while the other crests are shown very clearly and surrounded by sparkles, Light and Hope are only shown briefly shining in their partners’ shadows. Why is Takeru so far away from us, why is this so sinister-looking. Hi, mysterious plot. Nice to meet you.

Wherever Hikari is by the end of the OP, it reminds me of Vamdemon’s castle. Maybe she feels connected to Tailmon and follows her somehow? Angemon wasn’t shown in the OP with the older six children’s partners, just Patamon. I wonder if they’ll try to make us grieve for Angemon a second time. It’d work with me. Either way, I imagine we’re in for another last-minute Patamon evolution when everything looks hopeless. 

This time, though, we’ve got Hikari from the beginning (yes, I am VERY excited about this, thank you for asking, THIS IS WHAT I DESERVE), and, while I think Patamon is more powerful in regular conditions (as in, Angemon can probably take Angewomon in a fight despite the level imbalance, but as soon as Hikari starts glowing you know who’s winning), he will now be sharing the spotlight with another Archangel evolution… as his friend or as his foe, considering that Tailmon might be a double agent of some sorts in the beginning. Welp. 

Anyway. Toei isn’t fooling around, in the OP we can see MetalGreymon in a very scary-looking, glitchy fashion that I’m LIVING for, WarGreymon’s silhouette and, good grief, there’s even a glimpse of Omegamon. Talk about too much information. Maybe chill out a little? (I say this, but the adults already know all of their evos, and the kids just want MOOOOOOORE monstahhhhhrrrrrrsss….which is fair.)

MetalGreymon looks dope here. The others, though, are only shown up to their Adult evolution, even Gabumon. I don’t think they will have only Gabumon and Agumon reaching their Mega forms, and then fusing into Omegamon while everyone else only gets as far as Perfect.  Again.

They wouldn’t do this to us. Right? Yeah, they would. Maybe we can have Holydramon/Ophanimon and Seraphimon later on, as a treat. Aaaaaand, depending on how many episodes — how many seasons — this new timeline gets, I’m not giving up hope just yet. Let me have Phoenixmon, Toei, you heartless thing. 

Moving on to the actual episode… The first non-Digimon character to show up is the true protagonist. Our queen is back. Our little Digivice thief, Miko herself.

Just you wait, you ain’t gonna be Hikari’s favorite cat-like creature for long. 

Speaking of Hikari, LOOK AT THIS WITTLE BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2020 Taichi right off the bat was Taichi for me. He’s talking to Yuuko and yells “Hikariii~” so loudly Hikari hears it from where she stands, the short cutie. Their mom just hands down the phone for her without missing a beat so Taichi can comfort her through whatever she’s worrying about (her summer classes, probably). Such a sweet, natural little moment that flashes both characters out. I want more of that, please.

We’re then introduced to Koushiro! I’m not gonna lie, I cringed the first time I heard him speak. I thought the voice didn’t fit him very well. This impression faded quickly enough, though, and I’m already attached to his new voice. Later, I realized that part of the reason he sounded off to me was because of how nervous he seemed — around Taichi, of all people! In this version, they’re just meeting for the first time, so it’s very in-character for him. Guess I was kinda shocked seeing Koushiro not feeling at ease talking to Taichi. Poor thing is Anxious! And he’s overthinking about Summer Camp! And he’s happy Taichi is his neighbor! That certainly would’ve helped during the Vandemon arc back in ‘99. 

Koushiro gets a little bit over his awkwardness upon hearing the news regarding the cyber attack, something he’s curious about, and finally steps towards Taichi instead of away, which is spot on. These two fall into an easy camaraderie, as they SHOULD, and they head to the train station together, where Taichi decides to, I don’t know… run like crazy on the tracks until he gets to the rogue train where his family is and stop it with sheer force of will? Yeah! Sounds like him! 

And now to one of the most interesting parts of this adaption, is that they’re showing us the Crests early on and HOW they’re doing it. 

Taichi is able to meet Koromon because he’s being brave.

I mean, the first time, he was chosen because of his courage, too, but they all go in together. They’re taken. They’re washed off the Earth. And while Taichi had no idea he was going to be pulled into the Net, he chose to try to save Hikari and his mom (and, a few moments later, he chose to dive in towards Koromon). This time, it feels so much more personal. The screen switched back and forth between the Crest of Courage, Taichi and Hikari, who I believed called his name. The scene worked so well! (Following this pattern, Koushiro gets his Digivice when expressing curiosity, the will to pursue an explanation for what was happening!!!!)

On the other hand, it’s sort of bittersweet  they weren’t pulled in together. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they didn’t try to introduce all of them AND the Digital World at the same time again. But… ‘99 established them as a ‘team’ within seconds. It’s interesting, though. I’m VERY curious to see how their bonding will go this time around!

Taichi and Koromon meeting was beautiful. I was worried the soundtrack wouldn’t even stand a chance against the masterpiece that is the original one, but the musing playing was so delicate, so majestic. I felt I was witnessing a precious moment. Also, Koromon’s ears twisting into how we represent the DNA while he was evolving was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SUCH A GOOD DETAIL!!!!!! 

It cracked me up when Koushiro said that what was happening was very surprising while not sounding surprised at all. I wonder how long the kid has been looking into the cyber attacks. Oh, and the Network is pretty. Prettier than I had anticipated, though not that different from Appmon’s style, I think? I can’t wait to get a look at the actual Digital World and see if it has that unique feeling and that odd, watercolor painting aesthetic. I hope I can trust the OP:

 Did you notice that Agumon giggled a few times? He looked at Taichi with such love, familiarity and devotion and like he knew something. It felt… right. My heart. My poor, poor heart. (I know this Agumon probably has met Taichi before inside of this very Universe, like the Hikarigaoka incident in the original version, but I like to think about Universe-hopping platonic soulmates.) 

Overall the sound work was fantastic, but this scene deserves a highlight. The noise of the Kuramon lookalike moving after evolving was genuinely disturbing. And look at how pretty this is:

Speaking of evolution, AGUMON EVOLVING INTO GREYMON WAS THE SHIT. I loved how straight-up FERAL it was, while still keeping the “Digital” part of “Digital Monster” very much present. It reminded me a bit of Hosoda’s Greymon (most amazing Greymon to this day!) in the Digimon Adventure Movie and, now that I think of it, of him fighting in some Tri. Reunion scenes. Scary Greymon is the best Greymon. Yes. I like it when the Digimon manage to disturb and scare me, okay? They aren’t called monsters for nothing. 

I mean we got to see his horn literally bursting out of his skin. This is low-key terrifying. 10/10.

BUT WHERE IS THE EVOLUTION THEME SONG

I am: deceased. Cause of death: Hikari’s soft smile when she realizes her big brother managed to help them. 

Alternatively, this first pic had killed me on the spot.

FINALLY, we get to see Yamato, and of course, he’s staring down dramatically at Taichi on top of Garurumon like the intense person he is. And, no big deal, there’s a cyber attack in a U.S military base and, uh, apparently the next episode is the 2020 version of Bokura no War Game?! 

I— WHAT?!

No pressure, am I right? I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be falling off a good ol’ cliff with my camping buddies. 

To be honest, if they intended to end it like this, it felt like this should’ve been a special episode. Maybe one-hour-long or so? Why……….HOW……….. They wanna go from the pilot straight to a Bokura no War game tribute?! The very movie that introduced Omegamon. I swear, if Omegamon’s debut is the SECOND episode, I’m gonna break. How is this gonna work. Well, at least they have us… intrigued? 

The ED is so Yamato-focused it’s almost weird that his voice actor isn’t the one singing lmao. That amount of Yamatoness got me by surprise. Some of the pics look like a PowerPoint presentation of CD cover ideas for his yet-to-exist (or not) band… and I say this lovingly, okay? I love him so much. 

This is my favorite one!

I lost count of how many times I listened to this song!! It also got me hooked up. What’s up with Takeru and how the writers took the whole Angel aesthetic to a whole new level?! Is he sick? Is he dying? Is this why Yamato is so sad and lonely throughout the ED?????? EVERYONE GO BEFRIEND HIM. I heard he’s a good friend.

Be right back, I’m gonna tattoo this pic to my face.

Bonus commentary!

I bet I wasn’t the only one looking for  random cameos whenever they showed us crowds. Didn’t find anyone we know, but I’m sure this will change. 02 characters cameos, I’m ready for you. 

Soooooooooo the Tachikawa own a tech company this time?? For all we know they own Japan. That’s scarier than the Diablomon-like virus giving Trump a headache. If so, Mimi is gonna be way more spoiled than before. Oh, dear.

I HOPE WE SEE MORE OF THESE PIXEL BABIES! That was a perfect Easter egg.

If none of these icons at the bottom is the Digimon Analyzer, then what’s the point of my entire existence? 

I can’t wait for next Saturday! Even if solely to yell “WHY??????” at my screen.  

I can’t thank you enough if you read this far!

[knifesxedge]

hi pi! i hope you are well :) if you'd like to, could you share more abt poison and ghoul as parents? i love them so much <3

hi eden! i’m well ty!! and i would LOVE to

uhhh so they’ve raised a kid before, obviously, but when the girl was a baby all of them were teens (ghoul & poison specifically were about 16 when she came home for the first time) so the ‘parenting’ style with her was different than it was with charlie. mostly because it was their first time trying to take care of a child and so when charlie came home they were a bit more confident but ALSO definitely because they mellowed out a bit (poison mostly) when they got older. with the girl it was a more complicated situation — the fab four were somewhere between parental figures and older siblings to her, she was able to get away with a lot more stuff but also saw a lot more claps because they didn’t have any way to keep her from that. with charlie they were able to keep a bit more from her — the girl could watch her, when claps happened, and by the time charlie was born they’d stopped looking for violence/picking fights with dracs, crows, etc. too, which helped.

i think when they were talking about having a baby, one thing that was really important to them was being a Team. so they do their best to talk to each other about everything. and especially when charlie is very little, she always wants to be held, so they take turns passing her back and forth. if poison’s got her, ghoul will make her formula and bring it out for her, with a kiss for both of them and a can of power pup for poison. if ghoul’s got her, it’s poison who’ll get the clothes/bottle/diapers/etc. teamwork!

ghoul has a tendency to talk to babies like small adults. serious faces, serious questions, “uh huh, mm hm, tell me more” with babytalk. i think he kinda talks like this with charlie (and the girl. but this clip specifically makes me think about charlie). he’s very gentle, very good with kids, diagnosed with older sibling syndrome. the problem with that is that he can be a little fussy and overbearing when charlie gets older (he tries not to be. but sometimes he can’t help it 😔) um i think he’s particularly good at doing charlie’s & the girl’s hair. at the same time that he’s good with kids he also has a tendency to take the girl and later, charlie, to dubiously safe situations (ie bomb deals/trades with sort-of dangerous rough-and-tumble crews in like. a jerryrigged baby bjorn/sling with a bag of teddy grahams and a sippy cup in a diaper bag. it does occasionally help deescalate situations if the other crew is jumpy.) also i think ghoul will sing her little songs to help her go to sleep and keeps her with him if he’s working in the shed/diner and she’ll be in either her highchair or on a blanket with her toys where he can keep an eye on her.

poison loves kids and is an older sibling but is also very nervous about turning out like what he vaguely remembers his parents being. also between starting the crow program and leaving the city with kobra he wasn’t....the BEST older sibling (he was actually kind of a dick, and really regretted it later). and they really don’t want to project any of that (any issues whatsoever, really) onto a child, so they’re really careful with kids. they kind of treat the girl and charlie like they’re breakable, especially when they’re very small babies. almost....touch-shy? like especially as a teen he would smile at kids and play with the sandpups at gravel gertie’s when the four volunteered, but he wouldn’t want to hold them, wouldnt want to touch them too much, and that carried over a bit with the girl and even when they had charlie. they got better about that, though they still have a tendency to overthink the way he interacts with kids and talks to them. the upside is that he’s very soft with the girl & charlie, and once he got more used to it, he wanted to make sure they weren’t touch-starved and started being a lot more touchy-feely. it’s like all their sharp edges that outside crews see (and even some that friends/members of their crew see) get smoothed over with their kids. poison’s a bit of a pushover for the girl & charlie so they’ll come home from the market with a new pack of crayons and a little pouch of candy just because charlie pointed at them and made big puppy eyes. ghoul’s more willing to tell her no, so they DO balance each other out. on the other hand if poison is on a run alone with charlie there’s no one to stop them from buying her a new toy or stopping on the way to let her play at gertie’s even if there’s a time crunch <3 (and they will). poison will also take her out on drives if she’s fussy during the night, and he’s a night owl so he’s pretty willing to sit up late with her when she’s an infant and needing to eat formula or be held at like 3 or 4 am.

they keep her crib in their room until she’s old enough to have her own; ghoul made her a mobile out of meticulously cleaned and sanded down spare parts from discarded projects and poison painted the wall behind it. i don’t wanna call them crafty because that makes them sound like a diy pinterest couple (tho. modern au that’s honestly what they are) but they do make a lot of stuff for the girl/charlie (and even later jet’s little cousin) including but not limited to: a new highchair (the girl’s was a lil old by then and also uh. made of a crate and some wood planks), a set of blocks with her name on it, a drac-in-the-box, a monkey halloween costume based off a picture in one of cherri’s many books, and a plush animal (rabbit? giraffe? horse? yes) only a little more finessed than the one ghoul made for the girl when they first adopted her.

other assorted thoughts: they do the little swinging thing between them when they’re standing on either side holding her hands.

poison draws pictures with both the girl and charlie.

charlie will help ghoul make food in the kitchen and steal little bits of batter while ghoul pretends not to notice.

charlie loves being in on a secret so she gets to help plan birthday “surprises” for both her parents & uncle kobra and jet. sometimes it’s not so secret but she gets so excited about it that obviously no one’s going to point it out to her.

when she’s about four charlie finds a hurt baby bird out on the carpark in front of the diner and through the combination of her & the girl making a “presentation” on all the reasons they should be allowed to keep it and ghoul making soft sad eyes at the baby bird in the shoebox poison reluctantly says she can take care of it until it’s better. by the end of the chick’s stay with them poison cries when they have to let it go, so.

this isn’t necessarily a poison/ghoul parenting thought but it is charlie-related um i think the girl was super excited to be an older sister and even though they have a ~14 year age gap between them the girl and charlie are very close. charlie thinks the girl is the PEAK of cool and if they aren’t going to be doing something overly teenage and stupid the girl will let charlie tag along with her and her friends sometimes. she’s also very patient in playing games with her and charlie’s most vocal advocate when it comes to doing stuff she wants (charlie wants to go to see doc. charlie wants a popsicle. charlie wants to play at the playset in zone 3. charlie wants to borrow a movie from uncle cherri) and can understand her when she’s first learning to talk even better than poison or ghoul especially really early on. she’s the diner’s best CJ translator (also i think charlie has a bit of a speech impediment & is hard of hearing so for people outside of the fab four & their circle of friends it can be hard to necessarily understand everything she’s saying; the girl really helps with this and they practice sign language together with ghoul since he’s the best at ZSL in the crew. also she’s autistic just like poison)

anyways wah i talked a lot sorry but i hope this is what you were looking for! (i always love talking about my canon tysm for giving me the opportunity 🥺❤️)

[itsmonobun]

[compiling the answers i put to this thread here]

1. Who’s your main OC? What are they like?

i don't really have a main oc just the one (or few) i'm fixated on most which lately is robin (they/she) she's like the definition of super curious and eager to learn and explore! they're a newbie adventurer with the goal of seeing more of their world and honing their magic

2. Does your OC have their own world and lore, or no?

all of my ocs do and most of them group off into separate worlds of stories. some interconnecting and others just short solo stories but overall yea! :D

3. Does your OC have a lot of edge? Be honest

nah! 😂 Robin's gotta be among some of my least edgy ocs and i appreciate them for that (tho their story isn't without it's sprinkles of angst 👀 gotta have balance somewhere)

4. How old is your OC? Are they mature, immature, or a mix of both?

I'd place robin in their 20's (probably 23/24) she can be mature for her age but like any person they have their moments so a pretty solid mix

i think it's safe to say a majority of my main cast ocs fall into their late teens or twenties 🤔 all the others who are either younger or older are either side characters or one off background characters

5. Does your OC have any love interests? If you have art of the ship, share it!

yes! folks who've followed my art for a while might've seen me draw them together often but Robin meets Dai (them/them) early on in her adventures and the two end up traveling together. there's a lot of mutual pining between the two so they're among my favorite oc ships

6. Who is your oldest OC?

oof i've made so many but it's likely a close tie between these two: my earliest sonic oc jazz and my very old rp oc varona

jazz in specific gets the highest points for being oldest oc because despite her being a sonic fan character i wound up putting her on a whole other planet apart from sonic's world, with it's own magical gems and a "unique" govt system and everything

girl was the blueprint for my elaborate oc world building and i'm actually sad i've lost most of the old notes and fics i wrote

7. Who is your newest OC?

he wasn't even meant to be a full oc but this guy, elias

he literally started out as my player character in a mobile game and i'm still fleshing him out but i'm attached 😭

8. Who’s your least favorite OC to draw? Who’s your favorite?

i haven't got to properly drawing him yet but i know for a fact that i'm going to have issues with Sprig and his armor. meanwhile my most fave would have to be Aileen. granted i made their design simple on purpose but i've made up for it by giving her a big wardrobe

9. Did any games, books, or shows inspire your OC? Which ones?

a looot a lot! anyone who knows me is aware of how big sonic has been an influence but a lot of slice of life and fantasy anime and games have fallen into the inspiration category as well

i'd be lying if i didn't say it's embarrassing listing off specifics but stuff like botw, nichijou, durarara, sao, unison league even this children's book i read once the miraculous journey of edward tulane all had some influence

10. How much like you is your main OC?

I'd say Robin and I are very similar in that we're really curious about the world around us wanting to learn more about others but also learn and grow ourselves

something about personal growth not just for oneself but also to help others or something

11. Are you making anything with your OCs (I.e. a game, comic, novel, etc.)?

my goal is to finish comics for all of my ocs and their story's though i wouldn't be opposed to the idea of making a game for some of them either i know i've got a lot planned but lol hopefully i can start somewhere

12. Do you have a crush on any of your OCs?

i think the only oc i've ever considered even vaguely crush-worthy would probably be Kiren tho it might be because the earliest concepts i had for him came from a dream i had 😭

13. If all your OCs got in a fight, who’d win and why?

Robin or Spice and it'd be purely dependent on which part of Robin's journey they meet

Robin's due to become a pretty powerful mage (with strong fighting magic but also healing skills) meanwhile Spice can turn into a whole monster with scary destructive force and a lot of speed

in the end it'd likely be a matter of who's got the most stamina so then it's a matter of how good Robin's mana control is and how long Spice can hold her monster form else wise she'd be made to rely on weapons where's she's less skilled

14. Is your OC a heyyyy person or a bruh person?

Robin is definitely a person who says "hiii"

15. Is your OC an introvert, ambivert, or extrovert?

Robin's an ambivert! She can be really good as socializing and making friends but big crowds and being surrounded by more than a handful of folks will drain their social battery pretty quick

[thereadingmoon]

2020 READING LIST RECAP: SEPTEMBER

4. The Brilliant Death by Amy Rose Capetta

A while back, I reblogged a post on books written by gender non-conforming authors and this book grabbed my interest. Why wouldn't it? An Italian-inspired setting where gay witches stumble upon intrigue? This sounded so goddamn interesting and it definitely did not disappoint.

This book is about genderfluid witches taking down the patriarchy and written in a non-preachy and eloquent pen. Yes, it’s romance, and if you don’t like that, get out of here! It’s a YA LGBT romance fantasy novel that’s a flirtatious slowburn that still manages to balance the pining and the story equally. There is such a richness and art to the way the words in this book were written (ex. “Sunlight was a rumor here.”) and I also absolutely adore the characters-- Sly, tactical Teo and playful, mercurial Cielo. 

There was something about Teo that struck her as different to me than other YA heroines (or heroes, depending on the mood) I’ve encountered. Yeah, she’s described as the usual odd one out that always felt like she was different, but there was something else.

In hidnsight, maybe it was how she frequently got her shit together. She thought a handful of steps ahead and she was always planning something. When hell broke loose, she didn’t wait for someone to take the reins or tell her to do something: she thought of the plan and executed it. She was an active player, choosing things for herself. That’s not to say she was Mulan (2020). She was flawed, afraid, and still holding herself back from what she could be, and we watched her develop outside of the standards her family and society set for her.

I loved and appreciated the subtext on gender and sexuality in Teodora's narration while a more overt story on discovering one's identity takes place. I can’t really explain it, so I’ll just pull out some quotes from the book I adored so fucking much.

You don’t owe [your father] reasons, the magic said. Only love.

“Should I call you Teodoro? Or just Teo?” I felt a wave of pride, chased to shore by a darker one. Father had never acted this delighted when I was his daughter.

“You know who I would love to see tonight?” he whispered. “That girl I met on the mountains.” I shook my head. There was more to it than practicality. “You don’t like me this way?” I asked, my tone coarse, and not just from what we were doing. I did not wish to be with someone who disliked this version of me. Any version of me.

A lot more of this type narration happens in the second book, which has a lot more explicit romance scenes, inclusive characters, angst, and addressing toxic masculinity. Oh, and an anti-climactic confrontation scene early on that I will continue to be baffled at. But I digress.

Furthermore, I just love the relationship between Teo and Cielo. Arguably one of the more healthy relationships I’ve seen in this genre of fiction. They respect each other equally, they understand each other’s traumas, and they aren’t horribly possessive of one another... The only red flags as far as I know is when they do that thing teens do and make mistakes, have arguments, and forget to  communicate. And that’s great! Cause love is messy, people are messy, and being with people is messy.

This is such a wonderful book and I’ll throw it at anyone’s head when they ask for a recommendation. 

(PS: why are duologies so good??? is it because they know when to stop???? jfc)

Want to see more recommendations like this? Check out my blog’s masterlist for more book recommendations, and see the full year’s recap here!