#(and it works bc i want a good and nice and happy redemptive things for all of them)

[thedragonagelesbian]

Something something second chances...........

“And you don’t have to worry about threatening to kill me if I hurt him,” Anders added. Where he had been sheepish before, he now spoke with that disconcerting certainty that had scared Varric so much so many times over the last year. “If I hurt him again, I’ll take care of that myself.”

Varric could’ve just let the comment go. He was tired enough as is, and Anders had already given him enough grief for a lifetime. It was probably well within his rights to let the self-loathing slip by.

Instead, he sighed and said, “Blondie, you’ve got to stop saying shit like that.”

“I mean it.”

“I know you do. That’s why you have to stop. As a storyteller, I get the appeal of the whole tragic self-sacrificing lovers thing. It makes for one hell of a dark romance novel. But as your…” Varric’s tongue stumbled into it before his mind did. For a moment, he actually paused to try to think if he knew a word for the recently acquired partner of his partner who was also once his dearest friend until being directly responsible for ruining their lives. For all his years of wordsmithing, nothing came to mind, and he tried to cover up his faltering with a cough. “Point is, this is real life, not a novel, and in real life, sometimes you hurt people you care about. You have to be okay with that without immediately jumping to this ‘he should want me dead’ shit.”

“After what I did in Kirkwall—”

“We’re not in Kirkwall anymore!” Varric didn’t mean to snap with quite as much vehemence as he did, but there was a hole in his heart where his home used to be, and all the self-flagellation in the world from Anders wasn't going to fill it again. It just reminded him of how much his chest ached. “Cyrus made his choice. He wants you to live. Start wanting it for yourself too.”

Anders had been looking like a kicked puppy ever since he had slunk into the Gallows with his tail between his legs. He had the self-hating pout down to a damn art form, and still he managed to outdo himself then. Head ducked, shoulders hunched, spine buckled underneath the weight of what Cyrus and Varric had asked of him. He'd only look more pathetic if he was sopping wet, and damn it if Varric didn't feel his heart stirring with pity.

“Look,” he tried again. “Cyrus and I have talked about why the two of you separated the first time around. You freaked out because he did his 'please let me die for you' shtick, right? Remember how scary that was to listen to? That doesn't become a fun, cool, normal thing just because you're the one doing it.”

“I…” Anders' voice cracked. “I suppose I see your point…”

“I sure fucking hope you do, because I already have one dead-set would-be martyr in my life. I don't want another.” He paused, shook his head, and let out a rough chuckle. “Fuck, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe the two of you deserve each other.”

“He deserves you,” Anders insisted quietly. “You don't know… It's so difficult to stop thinking like this. It's hard enough for me to imagine starting down that path, let alone making the progress Cyrus has… had, until I… But even then, you were there to stop him from spiraling further. You've helped him so much.”

Varric folded his arms and sighed again. “If you stick around, I'll help you too, Blondie.”

For the first time, Anders turned away from the fire to stare at Varric, his eyes wide and trembling. “Do you really mean that?”

Varric responded with a shrug, as if this was a simple, off-hand matter. As if he wasn't still boiling with anger over all the mage had cost him, had cost Cyrus. Maybe it was. Maybe he wasn't, or at least wouldn't be forever.

“What can I say? I'm a fixer.” He glanced past the fire to the elf curled up on their shared bedroll, sleeping as soundly as he ever did, escaping from all the horror and loss and tragedy, if only for a few hours each day. “We both are.”

[eddiesxangel]

Redemption| Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: after committing a petty crime, Eddie is forced to work community at a retirement home; what he didn’t expect was the pretty girl at the front desk, you. This is so self-indulgent don't come for me

Word count: 3.8k

Cw: mutual pining, male masturbation, Perv!Eddie, Dom!Eddie/ Sub!reader, unprotected sex, corruption kink? breeding kink, sex at work. (Briefly proofread)

An: after 85 years I finally got around to finishing this! It’s not where I thought it would go originally bc it was just suppose to be a fluff piece but the horny gremlin took over

Boredom wasn't even a way to describe how you were feeling. The phones were dead, the day had been dragging on, and it was not even 12:00pm. The residents of the home were also not doing you any favours. Having to repeat yourself about six times in a row at the top of your lungs was starting to get old; your day had just not been going the way you wanted. Any other day, you'd be happy to help, happy to repeat yourself, but today was not one of those days. You were irritated and annoyed; your work bestie was off today, so you couldn't even complain to her about your shit day.

 A sigh of relief fills you when the phone rings, a rare occasion, but today has been so slow you were begging for something to do.

 "Sunny Acres Retirement Home! How may I help you?"  your customer service voice was overly sweet, too sweet. However you can't seem to turn it off, being the people pleaser that you are. 

"Jesus Christ'' You hear mumbled from the other end of the line. 

"Hello? How can I help you?" you roll your eyes, having to repeat yourself, but keep up the chipper act.

 "Yeah, listen, I was assigned to do community hours at this place, and I need to talk to a manager." Damn, this guy had an attitude. 

"Yeah! Sure thing. Can I get your name, please?"

 "Seriously?" 

What the fuck crawled up this guy's ass?

"It's company policy, Sir." You rolled your eyes again, not wanting to deal with more bullshit.

"Eddie"  

"One moment, Eddie, I'll transfer your call." You put him on hold and transferred him to the manager with a good luck warning. 

The next day, you were in much better spirits; your work bestie was with you, it was casual Friday, and you were allowed to wear jeans instead of business casual attire.

It was around 1:00pm when you saw Chief Hopper walk in accompanied by someone you had not recognized. 

"Hey Hopps," you greet him with a smile.

"Hey, you." He said with a smile.

You and Chief Hopper had a friendly relationship because you're close friends with his girlfriend's oldest, Jonathan.  

"To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Brought in another delinquent for you to roughhouse into shape" he steps out of the way.

Your giggle dies as you lock eyes with the prettiest boy you've ever seen. 

"This is Edward; he is here to complete two hundred hours of community service, and he will be starting today."

"It's Eddie," you hear him mumble under his breath. 

Oh so this is the jackass you spoke to on the phone yesterday... a really cute jackass.

He looked to be around your age, but you didn't recognize him. You'd only been in town since the second half of senior year, hating your parents for making your move to a new school so close to graduating. You have been in Hawkins  six years now you're here working 9-5 as a receptionist at Sunny Acres Retirement Home.

"Nice to meet you, Eddie." You introduce yourself and proceed to call the manager to let her know he is here. Once Hopper leaves and your manager shows him around, you immediately call your best friend, Robin's, extension.

"Get over here now! We have a code, hottie," you whisper into the phone. Whenever you see a cute person enter the building, whether it be adult grandchildren, paramedics, or firefighters, you always let one another know when there is one on the premises. No less than two minutes later, she approaches your desk.

"Where are they?"

" There," you point to the dining room directly across from your desk as he is being given a tour of the building.

"Eddie Munson?!" she half yells before covering her mouth. 

"You know him?" you ask excitedly.

"Know him? He's the town freak," she scoffs.

"I'm sure he is a freak, alright?" You wiggle your brows at her." 

"I'm serious! He's bad news." 

"Clearly, he is doing community service hours." 

"Seriously? That is what you're into?" she giggles.

"I don't know? There is something about him?" You bite your lip as you check him out from afar. He turns back to walk towards you, and you quickly look away, not wanting to be caught.

You've always been into bad boys, but your golden retriever, good girl image, always scared them away.

Eddie notices you staring at him because you're not very subtle.  He isn't mad that he caught you staring because he felt that you were checking him out rather than judging him. Unlike your co-worker standing beside you...

Just his luck, he recognized Robin from high school. She was always neutral towards him and didn't say much, but he knew how the people in this town operated. She would turn you against him in no time.

"Buckley." He nodded.

"Munson," she mimicked back.

You watched the scene play out, hoping she would introduce you. Wrong. She goes straight in for the kill.

"My friend thinks you're cute." She points her thumb at you, and you immediately slap her shoulder as a gut reaction.

"Robin?!" you scold her. Mortified about what she admitted to him just to break an awkward silence, you feel like you want the ground to swallow you whole. 

Eddie gives you a cocky smirk before the manager comes back to continue with the tour. 

"Why do you hate me? Did I do something?  Are you punishing me?" you whine. 

"You know I just blurt out things when I get uncomfortable!" 

All you can do is roll your eyes, you loved the girl, but she could be really dense. 

Eddie couldn't stop thinking about your brief interaction all night. Was Robin telling the truth? Did you really think he was cute? Or was she teasing? He hoped that she had grown up since high school and was telling the truth because he also thought you were cute, like really, really cute. He hadn't seen you before, and Hawkins was a small town; he must have known you from somewhere? He wraps his brain around any memories of your face, but he comes up empty. He had to find out more about you. He needed to know you. Something about you infatuated him so much. He thought about how your body looked in the adorable outfit you had on. He thought about what was under the outfit to... Maybe being forced to volunteer his time at Sunny Acres wouldn't be the worst thing that happened to him after all...

The next day, you were assigned to show Eddie some of the duties he was to do for the residents. Talk to them, run bingo, help them with their phone if the line was giving them any trouble, or their TV if they put in the wrong input, serve them beverages, and get to know them and keep them company. A lot of them don't have families or anyone to come visit them. The staff are their family. That was the main reason you stayed at this job for so long. 

Eddie was quiet the whole orientation. The tension from yesterday was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Small talk was not your strong suit; you dreaded it, but you also really wanted to talk with Eddie, so you went for it.

"So what did they book you for? Steal candy from a kid on the playground?" trying to make light of the situation. 

"Murder," he deadpans to you.

"Ha ha. Nice try. They don't give community hours to murderers." you couldn't keep your eyes on the task in front of you.

He was dead silent, but you could feel his eyes burning into you.

"Okay, don't tell me; I'll just keep guessing until you do." you gave a cheeky smile, trying to lighten the mood. 

Another eye roll was shot your way, but you swore you saw a glint of something behind those eyes. 

"So what was it? Trespassing? Vandalism? shoplifting? Public intoxication? Speeding?" you raise a brow at him.

 Eddie just smirked and shook his head as you interrogated him. Your bubbly personality was nothing compared to his. He noticed how you would light up the room when you walked in. The residents of the home adored you, and he could see why. You were one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen; your eyes sparkled, and he loved how you styled yourself. He wasn't used to being so infatuated by someone so cutesy. He noticed you wore a lot of pink and has yet to see you in anything black. He thought of what you would look like with black underwear... then he snapped back out of his thoughts. He tried to think of something less sexy, but as he was trying to do so, your top slipped down when you went to reach for the deck of cards across from you. He caught a glimpse of the frilly light yellow bra you had on under your top.

Eddie noticed the room was getting hotter, or was that just him? You made him nervous; he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of you more than he already has. He felt shame that we had to be waltzed in here by the chief of police, never mind what offence he committed. So he stayed quiet, not wanting the next thing to come out of his mouth to be offensive or crass. So he kept quiet, not saying anything or indulging in the conversation more than he had to.

Another week went by, and you still hardly spoke to Eddie. Work was unbelievably slow yet again. you thought that would give you a chance to speak with Eddie, but you hardly had time to see him because the residents kept hogging him. That was until your manager asked for you to help with the Bingo because everyone decided to show up today. Eddie was in charge of rolling and placing, and you were in charge of announcing and checking.

This was it, this was your chance to speak to him...

"How do you like it here so far?"

"It's fine I guess." He mumbled. 

"Everyone really loves you." You smiled.  

Eddie gave you a look that said what the fuck?

“No really! … Do you not like it here?” What you were really asking was do you not like being around me?

"Don't you get it? How can I serve these snotty rich people when all they do is look down on someone like me?"

"Eddie, are you blind? The residents love you." 

Eddie scoffs at your confession. "I'm serious! When you are gone, Pat always asks where you are! And Linda always refers to you as her boyfriend, and I overheard Martha and June arguing over who got to braid your hair next. You're a real ladies' man around here," You giggle. 

"A ladies man you say?" his mood slowly changes as he smirks at you. That made you blush, the heat rose to your cheeks as you looked away bashfully. He was just so pretty… and the way he looked at you like how he is now is making you so shy.

"Yeah, I'm kinda jealous of Linda, if I'm honest." You flirt. You feel like your stomach was in your ass by the time you finished the sentence.

-

"What's the next number! come on!" Bob yelled from the table. You had completely forgotten about the game.

Small glances were stolen throughout the following weeks.  You would feel the heat rise to your cheeks every time he caught you, and you couldn't tell if he found it endearing or annoying. You never got a response out of Eddie after your admission to being jealous over an eighty-three-year-old.

Eddie definitely thought it was endearing and he can't seem to get you out of his head. He would think about you when he was alone in his room at night. He would think about how you always smelled like marshmallows, how your hair looked so cute with the little bow you put in it occasionally, or how you tease him by wearing those short skirts with stockings underneath. He knew you were teasing him. Everyone else bought the Goodie Two Shoes act, but not Eddie. He saw right through it, and he was fed up. He felt like if he didn't have you, he would actually explode.

Eddie had been watching you from afar this whole time. He would sneak around your desk, finding things he could take home with him as a keepsake. Like little doodles you would leave out, or the pen you were using, or your lip balm. The best was when you left your purse out, and he got a chance to take the travel-size perfume that was lying there on top of everything. There was a reason he got booked for defacing public property and not theft. Theft he was good at.

Eddie sprayed his pillow with your perfume and then used your lip balm that smelled and tasted like strawberries, fuck, everything about you was so sweet: your personality, looks and smell, even your fucking lip balm. He thought about how his lips were touching the thing that touched yours as he applied it to his own, and his dick got hard. Then he thought about how your strawberry lips would look around his hard cock.

You were taking over Eddie's senses as he began to tug at his cock. He thought about how he would love to flip up your skirt and fucking you in one of the empty rooms. His imagination ran wild. He thought about your voice, how your tits would look bouncing in that frilly yellow bra he got a peek at. He wanted you in every position, especially under him. He knew you would be the perfect little sub for him. He needed you to be; he was so close to cumming. He thought about you crying from how much you needed his cock to fill you. He thought about how good you would look and feel swallowing his cock. He needed to take what he thought, no needed to believe, was your virgin pussy.

Eddie came so hard that night, the first night he indulged in his fantasies of you with your smell lingering in the air of his room. The mix of your sent with his was too much. He needed you, and he would do anything to try and get you.

"Ok, I can't take this anymore, you need to talk to him." Robin shook her head. 

"And say what?" 

"Yo Munson, come here!" 

"Robin!" You scolded.  

As Eddie approached, you felt your heart rate go up; you could hear the blood pumping in your ears. What on earth was she going to say now? 

"Okay, I can't take watching you two dance around one another any longer." "She thinks you're cute. Okay..." Robin gestured to you. "Do you think she is cute?"

Eddie didn’t say anything, he just slowly nodded his head.

The tension broke when the shrill of phone ring broke you out of your trance and shook you a little. You just stared at the phone and Robin butted in.

“I’ll take it, you take your lunch” she gave you a wink and you looked to Eddie.

“I could eat.” and he wasn't talking about the chicken they were serving for lunch.

You felt your stomach do a flip-flip; you heard the insinuation in his tone.

"Um, uh- yeah. Okay." You cleared your throat and went to find an empty room for some privacy.

You guided Eddie up to the eighth floor. There were a lot of vacant rooms up there, and hardly anyone went in the west wing since no one was living there yet. The elevator ride up was silent; you felt an awkwardness, like Eddie was looking into your soul even though he wasn't even looking at you... The elevator dinged, and Eddie let you step out first, guiding him to the privacy he yearned for.

809 Eddie read on the door as you fumbled with the lock and key. Finally, you opened the lock and guided him inside. The room was completely empty; it echoed a little as your footsteps filled it.

"So..." You started but Eddie had no time for talking. He wanted you and he wanted you now.

Eddie surprised you by cupping your face and kissing you passionately. No one had ever kissed you like this before; it was strong and hard but also careful.

"You have no idea what you do to me, sweetheart." He spoke into your mouth. The kissing got more and more sensual. You ran your hands up his middle before you knew what was happening he quickly turned you around and pressed you up against the wall.

"You think it's cute? Teasing me for weeks with your sweet little outfits?" Eddie's hand was wrapped around your mouth to keep you quiet as his fingers explored you meat of your ass.

"Mmmmmph" You were so scared someone would find you in the empty suite, but it also turned you on more than expected.

"What was that sweetheart? I didn't quite catch that?" His fingers found the waistband of your stockings and pulled them and your panties down with one swift motion. His hand loosened its grip on your jaw so you could speak.

"N-no," You whimpered. This was turning you on way more than it should. You thought you would come up here to talk; maybe he would ask you out on a date. You never thought you would be fucking!

"I don't believe you."

You felt your skirt flipped up and a cool breeze on your wet pussy.

"Tell me, sweetheart, has anyone ever filled this pussy?" Eddie asked as he ran a single finger through your wet folds.

"Yes," You admit shakily. You gripped Eddie's wrist of the hand that was clamped around your throat.

Eddie can't say he was surprised that you’ve had men before him. You were beautiful, smart, funny, adorable. It's too bad you had to be with them before he got a taste.

"What a shame you've had to suffer through that before meeting me, babydoll."

"Why is that?" you ask bravely.

Eddie chuckled darkly... "Because baby, I'm about to ruin you for all men."

That made you gulp. You can't believe you were about to fuck your crush in the middle of the work day. You didn't do stuff like this! you were a good girl, a rule follower.

Before you could think anymore about the consequences, Eddie, he slipped his throbbing cock into your needy pussy.

"Holy fuck!" You screamed, and Eddie's hand clamped back down over your mouth to keep you quiet.

Just when Eddie didn't think you could get any hotter, the curse word you let slip from your mouth made his cock twitch inside of you.

"Fuck me, you stretch me out so good," You whine, and Eddie thinks he will bust a nut right then and there. His perfect little angel had the mouth of a whore.

"Yes, you like that, don't you, you dirty little slut." Eddie jerked his hips up into you. It was sharp and hard and hit that delicious spot inside you each time. “You wanna be my good girl? Or my bad girl?”

“Good- oh fuck- good girl. I want to be your good girl!”

“That shut the fuck up and take it like I know you can”

"oh my god, you're so big." Your eyes rolled back into your head as he became more controlled with his rhythm. His hands gripped your hip, and he wrapped his hand in your hair, yanking your head back like he was riding you.

The view Eddie had was your ass bounced off his cock was making his head spin. He knew you would hand a perfect pussy. It was his now and only his.

"This pussy is mine now, understand? Im going to fill this pussy so good you won't know what to do for days. The only thing you're going to be thinking of is me and my fat cock."

All you could do was moan in response. "Yea you like that you dirty little whore. You like that I own this pussy now…” Eddie slowed down, he rolled his hips slowly into your pussy and he swore he saw the light “You have everyone convinced you're a goodgirl but all you are is a cumslut. Tell me how much you want my cum coating your walls"

"I want it so bad!" you cried.

You've never had a dick like this before. Eddie was right, he's ruined you for all men and he hadn't even made you cum... yet. You had full faith that he was able to do so because you could feel it. The warm fuzzy feeling was bubbling up in your core. Eddie had picked up the pace at your omission, and fuck if he wasn’t hitting your g spot with each delicious stroke of his cock hitting your walls.

"Fuck I'm going to cum!" You scream, all caution thrown to the wind, you'd forgotten where you were. The only thing you could think of was Eddie and his delicious cock.

"Fuck yes, babydoll. Come on this cock." Eddie's hand let go of your hair and wrapped it around your throat, pulling you flush to his body.

"More" You whisper.

"Greedy greedy girl."

"Please" You begged. You needed him to touch you.

"There is my good girl." His hand that had gripped your hip slid down and started playing with your swollen clit and your legs almost gave out.

"Next time, I'm keeping my word, and I'm going to eat this pretty little pussy." Eddie growled.

That did it for you; your inner walls squeezed, and you felt your orgasm rush through you. Eddie trusted in you as your body convulsed around him.

"Fuck you're so fucking tight," Eddie grits through his teeth, and he fights off his impending orgasm. He doesn't want this moment to end, he wants it to last forever. What if this is the last chance he has to feel your pussy wrapped around him?

"Please, Eddie, I want your cum! I want your cum so fucking bad, my pussy needs it."

That did it for Eddie, he let go and his hot seed was being shot into you with a roar.

After minutes of silence and heavy breathing, Eddie bent down and pulled up your panties and stockings for you, trapping his cum with it. You turn slowly, afraid to look him in the eyes, but Eddie doesn't allow it. He brings your cin up, guiding your eyes to look into his.

"Don't shy away from me now, babydoll. You're going to go back down to the lobby and finish the rest of your work day knowing my cum is going to be seeping through your pretty little panties, ok?" He ordered, and you dumbly nodded your head, still fucked out by the amazing dick you just received.

"Good girl" Eddie patted your ass, and you walked to the elevator with wobbly legs. Eddie laughed and held you stand straight before letting go before you reached the first floor.

You returned from your break fifteen minutes later than allotted, but Robin covered for you. You couldn't even look her in the eyes, and she knew you got freaky with the freak of Hawkins.

[wooawi]

my top 10 worst bits of season 5 so far have got to be:

10. adrienette becoming a thing in the worst way possible. like no previous issues were talked about or fixed, they just… became a happy perfect couple. i frl wanted them to have stuff to work through. and like arguments and problems and the like. the “getting together” bit would’ve felt so much more rewarding then.

9. felix being a “nice guy all along”. blaming it on colt’s jealousy and just having us believe he rly had his heart in the right place this whole time!!! he was just misunderstood and abused!!! rly it was his dad’s fault!!!! gestures aggressively to chloe

8. luka going to peru (iirc) to study under su-han. for reasons. u know, instead of actually thinking of how his identity knowledge would’ve affected the plot. yeah, shoving him aside to circumvent that entire thing sounds like a great idea, good job u guys! /s

7. lila having 72 identities and 35 mum’s for each one. u know the hate goes far when shawty’s prepared fake identities for when shit hits the fan. she’s obsessed with u fr

6. chloe bashing arc. totally worth my time and energy to watch yet another episode explaining why chloe sucks and i shouldn’t be a fan of her. /s

5. the other characters becoming permanent holders. it’s bad enough that alix is missing out on the rest of her childhood bc she’s been tasked to watch over time for the rest of… well, time. but instead of just fusing miraculous when need be or, and hear me out, just doing away with auxiliary heroes and powers all together, we… give the miraculous back full time with inexperienced high schoolers. idk, not even a little training at least beforehand? nothing, just: “here’s the power of a god. i’m trusting u to overhaul ur life and join me in the fight against evil permanently. no i’m not asking if u want to, u have no choice in the matter.” reminds me of someone who’s name rhymes with caster gu

4. adrien dropping his feelings for ladybug like it was nothing and marinette (temporarily) doing the same about her own crush. like what happened to the obsession and the “i’ll love u forever” and ending the world due to the strength of ur love. now all of a sudden it’s “didn’t work out x”??

3. gabriel is going to be revelled as a hero for his great sacrifice and basically given the redemption to end all redemptions. because he’s a misunderstood character who only wanted what was best for his wife and son and never rly meant to cause anyone any harm at all /s

2. chloe getting stuck with audrey as a punishment. it’s so vile i’m still trying to understand why that would ever be a good idea. remember the days when chloe was a pathetic loser of a bully who’s worst action ever was insulting marinette’s bakery for the umpteenth time? yeah, me neither

1. marinette?? keeps?? adrien’s??? amok????

[zukkacore]

🌤️ & ☔ !!

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

okkk so this is cheating b/c this is actually. From an old draft of If You Want Divinity that was way darker. But I might reconstitute it for a new thing b/c I do.... like it, it just didn't fit with the tone:

“Or is this all a… What do you call it? A leap of faith?” He grabs Porter by the hair, pulling his head back so that he’s forced to look him in the eye. “Was there ever a moment you doubted my devotion?” His other hand wraps nicely around Porter’s throat, resting pretty. “Or did you always know I would choose you?” A Message. I can feel everything. All your rage, your shame, your desire, your lovely desperation. Your envy… Does that frighten you? To know you can never hide from me again? It must be some sort of miracle for him to actually intimidate Porter, but rage emboldens him. He’s kept two people under his skin so long that the company is comforting. You don’t have the guts. “You sure?” says Jace. A beat. Do it. His grip slackens.

I am gonna count Message as dialogue :')

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

I have a couple that I'm not sure if I'm gonna finish or go for. A lot of these are kinda ambitious which i used to take on with gusto but i do have a problem with abandoning shit (and delayed gratification) so the idea of committing myself to a big piece is like. Maybe.... maybe.... At the same time, i am that kind of ambitious person, short things are not normally what i do. I have a few ideas that are not the most fleshed out:

I do genuinely really like the idea of doing a You've Got Mail rival academies AU but i also know that would probably take a tone of work and i'm like..... ughhhh. But i think they could do the hate to love thing. Its the Nora Ephron n Meg Ryan collab i think is the most fitting for the two of them (although if there was a when harry met sally (evil version) Take..... maybe)

Vaguely a timeloop au sounds fun. I LOOOOVE a timeloop. and have been wanting to write one for forever but i don't have a strong Vision on it right now. Don't know if its a timeloop to change what happened kind of timeloop or a timeloop to realize you can never go back kind of timeloop. There's also the Timeloop as Redemption angle that i think is fun, that's the groundhog day thing that's the happy death day thing and i think there's precedent of it being like. a Chronomancy thing. Aguefort subject these bitches to a timeloop so you can put them back on your payroll im begging you

Althought time loop purgatory also goes hand in hand with my joke that Porter and Jace should be subjected to a Bad Place Elmville as hell punishment. A vaguely inspired Good Place AU would be really funny i think. Again, it's too formless for me to know what to do with it. I don't actually think it should be that they think they're in The Good Place, i think the trick should be they're convinced ankarna gave them a second shot at life so now they life in elmville only everything is shifted slightly to the left bc its a pocket hell dimension meant to torture them. Like Chidi and Eleanor, oops they fell in love. Again. This is formless.

ALSO kinda goes hand in hand with my joke abt Ankarnatown i made a while back like Jace fetching Porter from hell??? no notes. But like. damn i gotta make it myself?? That sucks

I honestly sincerely might write some zara/clones or lucilla/clones stuff. That ones purely and indulgence. Purely just for me. I wanted to include a small zara/jace throughline or a lucilla/j2 implication in Almost but it just like. Did not have the air for that i just felt like it didn't fit for the tone it just kinda was detracting (as much as zarajace making porter jealouse wouldve been fun) and just in there for me b/c i like Persephades Orphydice

Again this is formless. All i'm gonna say is i drew a gamechanger au. and now i think the idea of Aguefort subjecting his staff to gameshows for personal enrichment is so funny. Aguefort heaven is porter hell its a very efficient system

[mostlymaudlin]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me. 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

544,914. (again. woagh)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)

man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!

anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading! 

i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.  

ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.

that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3

[icy-watch]

We are missing soooo much of what went down with the Brotherhood, I'm curious. Like, they gave Tripitaka POWERS. Makes you wonder what he did that makes Peng hate him sm, y'know? Other than ~ Wukong now yielded to an agent of the Celestial Host ~ something we theorize is also, what Mackie might have hated the Monk for. Honestly, he said it right. "Azure is so good at convincing everyone he's the good guy, he's even fooled himself." Mackie's wisdom stats are leveling up XD And because we ALL love taking Mackie's words to others and seeing how they relate to him as well, or at least I do, I was just going hmm at this. And also, I guess dissecting people is kind of his thing if he wants to be able to mess with them. So Imma be scrolling all the way back to your ep 8 liveblog and going from there. The Brotherhood. A little LMK AU where Monkey King's sworn brothers are combined with demons of the same name. Mei is the only one still with the program, even I was going back and forth on what to think of Azure. Sadly being chill was not going to work in this scenario. "The Monkey King, who's only allegiance was to his people." Well YEAH. They're just living their lives, not running an actual kingdom. We love our grandfather of monkeys lol <3 but OOH boi yo, the way Azure looks at Wukong like he's a warrior and a king MMM. He's just a silly guy who always up for friends and companionship. "We followed our king into glorious rebellion." For the love of everything, stop romanticizing this and putting Wukong on a pedestal BUT AT THE SAME TIME what fascinating psychology exposed in the way you treat your view of things. Can we also look at how Wukong looks back. "The Monkey King failed." Sir...the surprise on his face, almost as if he was looking for his friends to be behind him in this moment as well. We see The Brotherhood all gathered together. Macaque is there. They're over a natural shadow, so I imagine this is where Mackie had them all escape, leaving Wukong to his fate. He might not be the biggest fan of Wukong's new friends or this entire plan, but well, wouldn't want to get caught too, right? I'm also eyeing how the moment Wukong's staff hits the ground as he gives up it has the same exact sound effect as every time MK tried/hit Macaque's eye. Good grief, Azure's storytelling is another thing from Mackie's like??? Hella effective and seeping in a very specific image of Wukong and away from the inner feelings of everyone else involved. I need to dissect this lion. Because he's not even trying to be manipulative, he genuinely sees it like this. "If the Monkey King had in his power to create a paradise on earth." I'm going to stop you there buddy. POWER??? Please. If you took their happy little FFM life as "stripping the surrounding land of life to raise the buildings of Camel Ridge." You have a severe misunderstanding of how Wukong made FFM such a nice, happy place and why. Because this ain't it chief. Notice the lack of Mackie in this scene and the very disappointed Mackie as he shares the origin of this place with MK. Hilarious how "tired but satisfied with sparkles" there are in this scene and "oh the Celestial Realm didn't like the competition" haha sure, funny how they didn't respond this way to FFM isn't it, Azure? Monkey King IS a hero, and I too was confused like MK bc I was like yoooo?? Tripitaka and Gang are like an on-call superhero team now lmao???? But they spent a lot of time making the Celestial Realm as the enemy here, and a lot of time treating The Pilgrams as The Redemption Gang For Wukong. So. What think.

Hhmmmm. Very interesting. I can see the Og Pilgrims as a way for Wukong to be redeemed. But that would be inserting Abrahamic beliefs on a book that is mostly based mostly around Confucianism, Taoism, and Buddhism.

[thegeminisage]

tng update time!! last night we did "the mind's eye" and "in theory."

the mind's eye: REDEMPTION FOR GEORDI??? they wrote this episode for me specifically to heal me from my geordi holodeck trauma

actually when they first said he was going to risa my heart dropped like a stone...i don't want to see him next to a woman ever again

happily, he got brainwashed <3

i will say though that there was a fantastic setup with absolutely no follow through. come with me, Brainwashing Connoisseur, on a journey. what are the three most important factors in a brainwashing story? 1. indiscriminate murder one will later feel tortured about 2. Big Scene where we break the conditioning 3. the little chairs they always put them in

this episode only managed to hit 1 out of 3. and the little chair was great! i was horrified, and also twirling my hair about it. we did also have bonus point categories "doubting sense of reality," "unknowing agent of evil," and "amnesia about the conditioning" ticked off. HOWEVER.

not only was geordi NOT allowed to murder people or even get a good attempt in, he didn't even get saved by anyone important (like data). the closest we got was him shooting o'brien in the holodeck simulation. and that was fun and made me really excited for what was to come, which was a lot of nothing. data figuring it out and then NOT rushing to be the one to intercept geordi and lovingly, as a bestie, wrestle him to the ground? letdown. why tf was it worf. why were those random klingons holding him back. what were we DOING people did they just not know how to cook up a good brainwashing in 91 or what!!! honestly

that said i did like the plot twist about the klingon guy being evil because he was genuinely so helpful in a non-suspicious way and disliked that other klingon guy that worf and i dislike. i'm always happy to be surprised like this

also i really hope worf gets his honor back someday im tiiired of people being mean to him about it :(

and geordi's little therapy session at the end was funny too. he's like haha i don't remember being tortured in a brainwashing chair at all! and deanna's like oh you're Gonna remember. and then he starts to remember and we roll credits. perfect. 10/10. could not have asked for a better ending

or beginning for that matter. it was just the middle that sucked :(

in theory: this was another episode with a very nice set-up and a lackluster payoff

firstly can we not disrespect data or tasha yar by pretending they did not fuck...it was weird, and it was in a bad season, but they DID fuck and to act like data is a virgin is ridiculous. maybe he doesn't know "dating" since they didn't date but he definitely knows how sex works cuz he had it. with tasha yar. may she rest in peace

i actually really liked this at first because data's gf seemed to get a huge kick out of all the insanely weird shit that is just constantly coming out of his mouth, which is right and just. i think they leaned a little too hard on data taking things literally and being "people stupid" in this episode, but i could have forgiven it bc she looked SO FOND every time data was being weird. i even said out loud with my mouth "this is a requirement to love him and be his gf. you have to love the dumb shit he says."

BUT THEN THEY HOOKED UP AND SHE IMMEDIATELY STARTED TRYING TO CHANGE HIM? like, telling him how to receive her gift, telling him to paint and not paint and paint again, and she's like well at least you're trying, you'll get there, BITCH HE IS PERFECT AS HE IS i would date data and i wouldn't make him change ANYTHING

also, it's so stupid. he obviously knows you're supposed to say thank you when you get a gift and i bet he's learned "please don't let me interrupt" isn't always meant to be taken literally either. dude has like two decades of experience now he wasn't activated yesterday

that said, the section where data asks everyone's opinion on whether or not he should date this lady was 10/10 except for picard's response which was sexist. my absolute favorite was riker's he was like oh buddy. you are gonna get LAID if you date this girl and then you can find out why everyone loves SEX like I DO did i mention SEX IS GREAT?? and i do kind of forgive riker for not knowing data and tasha fucked bc tasha asked him not to tell. so it was just funny the guy is such a slut (affectionate, honorific) that he's excited for data to get some too. it was very healing after that whole thing with beverly to see him happy about his buddy getting laid or whatever.

also i'm so fucking thrilled we got to see his cat again i love spot so much fr <3

my other gripe with this episode, aside from this woman dating an android and then being shocked he acted like an android, is...what even was that b plot? it had NOTHING to do with anything. normally they're at least tangentially related and i kept waiting for the gf to be secretly behind it or to get killed by it but this time it really was just some random thing. which frankly i think could have been saved for a better episode bc putting that lady through the floor was probably the goriest think trek has done up til this point. it ruled. give us a whole 45 minutes of that shit (just no morgue scenes please).

again, great setup, could've been lots of fun, mostly wound up being watchable but lackluster. bordering on disappointing :( theme of the evening.......

TONIGHT: redemption parts i & ii. i normally dont like finishing a season and starting one in the same evening but watching percy jackson put us off one so i'm gonna be a grownup about it. goodbye season 4!!!

[timingmatters]

I don’t currently like Penelope very much BUT I hope now that she’s on her villain era and has no friends nor someone to lust over (and I’m sure next season as she has no friends to feel pity for she’s gonna harm tons of people) I really hope they stop doing her hair that way. The actress its soso pretty and they always have her in the worst hair (her whole family really). Hopefully as she isolates herself from her family and friends that means her looks will be more distinguished too. I also hope the upcoming season is Benedict’s. For one, he’s one of my fave characters lmao but ALSO:

1) Eloise and Teo are incredibly cute together, and If Eloise is to go with the plant dude like in the books, one more season to close better the whole Teo arc will be good. If the finale of this season was supposed to close that, it didn’t do a good job. It doesn’t feel like a closed chapter. I would be all for them to changing from the books and have her with Teo or a girl. But I doubt as much as they change, that they’ll change the characters pairs of the main seasons. So it can’t be Eloise’s season yet.

2) I don’t want it to be Penelope’s season bc she’s still excusing (and many viewers too) her actions too much. It would be better to go fully “idgaf” next season so she can truly get a big shock on the harm she causes and solves her relationship with Eloise before her romantic arc truly starts. Because if next season is her season, then it would immediately be about her and Colin, and she needs some redemption and to grown, learn more before I care about her romantic relationships. That’s not a bad thing. As much as I don’t like her right now, it also means I’m interested in what they do with her character next aside from romance. If they throw her in romance it would be boring. Plus it would be nice to start seeing her grow far from romance (both in Colin but also in her writing) and see her character grow into herself more before a relationship-focus storyline starts.

3) People who are fans of the books were disappointed Eloise found out about Penelope before Colin. Because Colin knowing first was important for their relationship. THAT SAID, listen lets be honest. Those are kinda very heterosexual, non groundbreaking books. That is to say, the feminism (and in the show too) is very superficial. There’s a lot more worth in the storyline of Penelope’s secret being about her relationships with other women and how those women feel about gender roles and how they manage to fight and then (hopefully) find each other again learning and growing in a man’s world, rather than her secret storyline being about her relationship with a man :/

i much prefer the next season to be about someone else’s romance and to see Eloise and Penelope both grow into feminism (that means Penelope letting go of the idea that Eloise couldn’t be happy for her or jealousy, and Eloise learning to accept women who are more average and don’t exactly think like her), AND to see them come together again with a new perspective and understanding of their friendship and how to move forward (and maybe work together) to allow the writings to aid women’s future. Letting the feminism of the books AND show be a lot less shallow. And the romance plot can be for Benedict, who is complex now enough for a season with his desires AND funny af shfjfj. And in the show he is the perfect getaway to either Colin or Eloise’s season being s4 as Benedict is the one who interacts the most with them. Also before Eloise’s season I hope they work more on her bond with Daphne. Eloise looks down on Daphne a lot (and other women) because she doesn’t respect that they don’t aspire more work wise like Eloise. But Eloise overlooks how much Daphne has been willing to risk in the past for her family. She made many jokes on Daphne in s1 completely overlooking that Daphne’s life was on the line a lot. I want that to also be something they touch on before Eloise’s season. None of the “comparisons” to Daphne. I want them to be sisters.

Edit: fuck the books I want Eloise and Theo to make it work so bad pls i am sjfjfjf they have such good chemistry????????????

[yesimwriting]

Hi! I have been having an off day I’m kinda exhausted and anxious slightly snappy haha. I was wondering how would the darkling react to an anxious reader that he cares about. 😊

a/n ive been a little MIA but im working i promise!! i felt really apathetic about writing for awhile bc of some personal stuff but ive been trying to get back into it bc im genuinely happier when i write :)

--

- ok so i think how he reacts to an anxious person that he cares about depends on where you're at in the relationship,, which might be kinda a 'duh' but it needs to be said for how im setting this up lol

- bc if he's kinda just starting to figure out his feelings, i think he'd be so surprised by how much he cares that he has to hold back his immediate reactions, bc he may have his faults but he's def protective once he realizes something is affecting/hurting the person he sees as the sun

- that protectiveness stems from wanting to be what makes you happy, he wants to feel like he's your shelter so that he feels like he's good enough for you. He wants you to be happy so he can feel your warmth but he also really wants the redemptive feeling that comes from knowing that he's your protector in a way.

- he wants to protect and make you happy so bad, sometimes you need to be like 'umm...i really appreciate that you want to torture the person that bumped into me a little too hard on a bad day,, but maybe let's not??' especially if you are still in that phase where he kinda scares/intimidates you bc you know him more as the General

- not only are his more over the top reactions a little scary bc you don't want to offend him by not wanting to talk about it to avoid blowing the situation up,, they're also confusing

- bc you had no idea he cared if you lived or died let alone cared if you were nervous or not?? but sometimes it makes you feel really comforted, bc if someone as hardened as the darkling can care that much about how youre feeling than you can't be as awful as you're feeling

- and it's also comforting bc he's clearly strong and powerful and when he puts a hand on your shoulder and stares at you like you're the only tangible thing in the world and telling you that he's not going to let anything happen to you,, the rational part of your anxiety is appeased to say the least.

- alright but that's at like the first stage of the relationship for him, bc i feel like he def has like twenty stages he goes through before finally being in a committed relationship bc even though he wants an attachment and love so badly bc he hates his eternal loneliness, he has a lot of layers to work through before he feels secure enough in you as a person to risk vulnerability

- so if he's at the point where he's accepted what he feels for you,, but has yet to really act on it, this is where he starts to give himself away a little

- like you'll mention being stressed about training in the Little Palace, or not getting along with someone and he immediately jumps to encouraging you. It's kinda funny bc at first he seems like he's just trying to be a supportive pal bc at this point ur sorta friendly (at least more friendly than anyone else is with the darkling) but then he kinda losses himself in talking about how amazing you are.

- and if youre feeling anxiety/bad bc of someone in particular, you better not mention their name unless you're 100 percent sure you're furious at them.

- sometimes it causes some strain bc you don't necessarily want him to get involved, and he's not above lowkey guilting you into telling him the full story, but it's not really intentional. He just starts talking about how much trust he puts in you and you just let the little things go after making him promise to leave things alone.

- if your anxiety is general,, or just bc of a. bunch of little things and he's at a point in which he's accepted how much he cares about you but has not told you yet,, he'll try to hide how soft he feels, but sometimes he slips up.

- honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if a really big relationship milestone came from that.

- like you crying one night and the darkling finding you, and then him taking you back to your room and promising to stay so that you don't have to feel alone and then the next morning you wake up and he's holding you

- at first ur like ?? but he acts so normal you're like maybe that can be platonic? but then it starts happening more and more and neither of you mention it and then when you two finally do get together youre like 'ohh? im stupid'

- and if your anxiety comes from your worry about him?? wow--he'll have to stop himself from kissing you

- this is a man who is so used to being hated/feared that the concept of someone worrying about him so much they physically don't feel well?? that would hit him STRAIGHT in the chest, and he'd be so quick to pull you to him, and then you'd be like--are you ok??

- wouldn't be surprised if that's how you found out he had feelings for you,, like he'd say something like "i didnt know the brightest star in the sky could want to protect the darkness instead of banish it. You're the brightest light I've ever known, it was more than enough for me that you weren't repulsed by my darkness...and now..."

- anyways,, if you were already established together and you were anxious, he would have no need to hold back

- if he notices your hesitant to let him 'help' he might do a thing or two to reduce sources of your stress without telling you...which sometimes leads to you getting a little mad, but depending on how extreme his actions were, he normally smoothes it over quickly

- i mean,, it's just how he shows that he cares, he's never had someone that could snap their fingers and get rid of his adversaries or reschedule a thing or two to make his life easier

- he sees no harm in it,, and even though sometimes other people may give you a bit of a hard time bc of his evident favoritism,, you know it just means he cares

- if he goes really far, you're more willing to be mad at him, but honestly when youre upset all you want is to be near him bc there's nothing more comforting,, so you agree to hold off on arguing lol

- i mean there are always lines that get crossed, so there are times he cant charm himself out of your anger, but the longer youre together the more he tries to hold off on doing things that make you really angry,, unless he feels like the person really hurt you, then nothing can stop his anger

- if youre actually together he's much more quick to comfort you physically if youre feeling really anxious,, he'll kiss you everywhere until he's all you can think about, which works for when your anxious over small things

- if your problem is larger, he cant exactly kiss it away though i cant say that doesnt help but it's still comforting and relaxing bc duh,, so i feel like he's really touchy if youre upset

- kissing sometimes leads to other stuff,, but that should be its own fic/headcanon bc i have a secret head cannon that feeling needed or like the only one his partner has is a turn on for him bc it returns some of the power he feels like he gives up by letting his partner care about him

- might have to write that fic now that im thinking about it....

- if youre so anxious you dont want to be touched, it'll be a little harder for him, but if he reaches for you and you back away he'll try to talk you down and remind you that he's not going to let anything happen and as long as he's breathing he'll make sure you're okay

- if youre officially together and youre anxious about something small, he's actually surprisingly nice to talk to,, before you were close you felt like you were bothering him with small, insignificant things,, but once you know that he cares about you he's a patient listener bc he likes being really present with you when he can bc he's busy so often

- sometimes if youre worried or upset he jumps to anger towards the object of your distress before comfort, but once youre at the dating part, you know that that's just how he is, and anger is how he shows love in a way?? lol, so you just have to clearly tell him that you'd rather him stay with you then rush out and like smite someone, he'll stop and comfort you

- sometimes how much he cares makes him angry at himself bc he begins to question if he'd pick you/your happiness over his goal, if he can't convince himself that you'd never get in the way of that, he gets a little cold until he feels assured in his loyalties or at least assured in the fact that your happiness would never conflict with his goals

- that can happen at any point in your relationship,, i feel like it'd happen more when he's unsure about his feelings bc seeing how much he cares about someone that's nothing to him makes him want to banish his nerves

- overall though,, once he cares about you, whether he's fully accepted it or not, he'd burn the world down to make you feel okay again,, or stay in bed with you for awhile, or both--whatever you want, really

[hyunjinspark]

hi jade !!! oh my gosh i just finished reading chapter 9 and the amount of emotions i felt is insane 😵‍💫

starting of with the yongbok situation, oh god how do i start. FIRST of all i don’t know if i’m starting to dislike him, but i do feel a little bit bad for him, i mean i get what yeonjun said, he might just be insecure after being y/n’s best friend for years, he’s used to y/n being always next to him, and hanging out with him all the time, he might just be scared that hyunjin’s taking his place or maybe he’s scared that they will fall apart, but i still don’t think this excuses the way he treats her. he should try to at least talk to her about it instead of blowing up and leaving y/n to be confused or lead to her overthinking. i mean they’re BEST FRIENDS and i thought there’s supposed to be no secrets kept from one another yk? yeah i don’t know if i’m mad at yongbok or not but ik i just don’t like him rn, maybe he’ll have his redemption arc when he finally tells y/n what’s going on 😕

ANYWAY moving on to hana ! she didn’t really make much appearances in chapter 9 but re-reading the last chapter, i just noticed how manipulative she is to y/n, i don’t know if it’s on purpose or she really doesn’t know she’s doing it BUT sometimes i feel so bad for y/n when hana starts talking sometimes, especially the time she was planning yongbok’s birthday, i wouldn’t be happy to be called “a pain in the ass” either. but yeah, i really need y/n to talk to her about this if hana continues to speak hurtful things about her, like if she’s doing this on purpose i need y/n to drop her ASAP. also i feel like she has a trick up her sleeve.. i can’t explain it but she’s a little suspicious 🧐 i guess we’ll see in the next chapters though :D.

OKAYYY now about yeonjun. i feel really bad about him honestly, especially with how his best friend doesn’t want to talk to him, aka yongbok, but i think he’s happier and i’m glad y/n saw him at the bar and kept in touch with him. i know hana and his break up probably hurt him too, and the way they’re treating him is so unfair, because like they said, hana broke up with him. they could’ve made it work even if he moved to another city. i know hana was probably scared but the way she keeps blaming yeonjun? it’s really unfair :( but either way he’s been such a good friend to y/n and he’s probably one of my favorite characters ! the way he didn’t hold grudges, love that for him <3

okay now for y/n. i feel really bad for her, that’s what i wanted to say the most. she has been feeling probably like shit lately with yongbok arguing with her and the hyunjin situation. i’m glad she has a friend like yeonjun for her to lean on bc if it weren’t for him she would probably be in a worse mental state right now. but yeah anyway, she’s probably really guilty with how everything is turning out and thinks everything is her fault even though it’s not 💔 i really hope she gets to resolve the argument with yongbok so she can help him with his issue or talk to him about what’s happening. she really doesn’t deserve how she’s being treated rn because all she has been was nice and sweet idk what their problem is with her, but they do take advantage of that a lot, knowing y/n will always forgive them and make them think she’s always at fault.

lastly, THE hwang hyunjin. it’s funny how much he denies that he likes y/n, i mean it’s so obvious to everyone about how in love they are with each other, even yeonjun thought they were together !!! hyunjin really needs to make up his mind because y/n is starting to think that he just sees her as a friend and him avoiding her probably made her feel worse but i am glad that he wants to talk to y/n about his art again and probably explain himself which will probably lift some weight off her shoulders. i really hope they resolve this issue bc he’s so good to y/n :( this is yongbok’s fault /j.

ANYWAYYYY oh gosh i’m so sorry this is so long 😭 but thank you sm for this chapter !! i’m looking forward to what’s gonna happen in the next one 🤩 stay safe and take care lovely !

- 🥟

idk how i missed this 😭 thank you for sending me such a beautiful review of part 9 🥺

understandable, yongbok is in a sad situation and doesn’t really know how to act regarding it. definitely letting insecurities and jealousy getting the best of him 😔 as for hana,, im not sure if what you were talking about was resolved in part 10. but she can be manipulative, even if unknowingly.

happy to know that yeonjun is one of your favorite characters, and yn definitely did go through all the shit with feeling guilty and like its her fault :/

don’t apologise for it being long, im sorry for missing it in my inbox 😭 thank you so much for telling me your thoughts :)

[lorebird]

I’ve been thinking about Darkstalker a lot today....... so what else to do but dump all my thoughts into an essay lmao

I haven’t reread the second arc yet, only the first, so I’m working off memory here — but I wanna try to articulate the way I’d like to see him written. This works in some magic system revamps and stuff which I’ll explain when relevant!!

Funny little criticism

First off. I REALLY don’t like the way animus magic is written,,,,, what on earth does it mean to lose parts of your soul, in a way that isn’t just plot convenience?? Again, this is just from memory of arc 2 and the special edition, but it feels like animus magic doesn’t have much consequence Until It Does. Like,, DS was selfish and manipulative BEFOFE HE WAS BORN?? He’s “evil” from the beginning for fun and flavor, what does his magic actually Do other than change around the ratio of good:evil in his funky lil soul reader,,, it feels like we don’t see anything on the spectrum between “a few spells here and there without consequence” to “time to murder my family!” I also despise how albatross is written but that’s a rant for another time

Idk I’m just Really not a fan of canon animus magic. Idk exactly how I’ll be redoing it, but I know I’m cutting the soul stuff entirely. I think it’s more interesting and adds more nuance if Darkstalker’s descent isn’t as involuntary as animus magic makes it seem.

Anyways, on the topic of DS being Evil from the start — his redemption??? Like, you’ve got Scarlet, who is only ever acknowledged as evil. She’s never given anything close to a chance at redemption, bc she’s illustrated as Evil™ through and through. But Darkstalker, who is arguably worse than her, gets to start over (against his will???). Girl why??? I have a theory that DS was written to be a tumblr sexyman industry plant actually /j

Ok actual rewrite ideas now

So another magic related thing is moon-given powers. My rewritten world has “moon gifts” for each tribe, from fire resistance in MudWings to frost breath in IceWings to color changing in RainWings. This is cuz I’m writing things slightly more grounded in biology, so having magic abilities from moonlight made it a bit more sensical (as opposed to coming up with biological mechanisms for it all, plus why IceWings would develop frost breath from their common ancestors that breathed fire).

Anyways, all this to say that mindreading and future sight is pretty common in Darkstalker’s time, because it doesn’t require a full moon. Any amount of moonlight lets the abilities develop somewhat, and it’s on a scale — you can go from full Clearsight-level premonitions to vague ideas of the future that seem more prominent than others (“I feel like we’re having soup for dinner more than the possibility of having steak for dinner”). This is sorta what Fatespeaker’s got!! Same goes for mind reading, you can have incredibly clear visions of what others are thinking down to above-average empathy from picking up emotions.

Because of this, ancient NightWings were actually a very emotionally in-tune tribe who were very aware of each other (it helped that they didn’t have to endure the food shortage issues of modern NightWings). Enter Darkstalker: an incredibly powerful dragon who had the potential to be the greatest and most empathetic of them all. And yet,,,,,

I want to tackle DS’ arc with the idea of “frog in hot water.” I wanna look at the gradual change, keeping in mind the environment he grew up in, and go more in-depth on how those ACEs affected the way he used his magic. The way I kinda see it is “used to help others” > “used to help loved ones” > “used to prevent harm” > “used in a way that infringes on others’ autonomy” > “used in a harmful way against enemies” > “used in a harmful way against dissenters” > “used for violence/widespread discord”

By the time he comes back during arc 2, he’s full-gone and stuck in the boiling water. But he’s still got his charisma and an understanding of what it’s like outside the pot, and that’s how he ends up freed and causing chaos. It’s only with enough experience outside his isolated worldview that he can come to realize how wrong he and his actions were, and willingly give up that power. With that reset, and without the trauma that edged him into the path of abusing his power, he gets to start over in a better environment and live a quiet but happy life! Though I’ve got some personal hcs about the magic not staying buried, and letting DS/Peacemaker redeem himself by having access to the same power as before, but making the right decisions this time around. Idk I just think it can make for a nice story about overcoming trauma and self-loathing if he does find out who he used to be

TL;DR I think Darkstalker is much more interesting by removing the built-in issue of losing his soul. To me, it’s more interesting to write him in a way that examines the effects of unlimited power in the hands of someone who keeps pushing past boundaries. Imo it also makes Peacemaker more interesting to eventually unearth those abilities and memories, but remain a good person

[loveijun]

Can we hear your thoughts on KnT Soulmate? English chapter 7 just got released yesterday.

omg hii 🧞‍♀️ ill probably talk a lot more about it later when i read the new chapter but these are some of my thoughts 💗 1 im so glad kurumi gets her own story because after the whole situation with her and sawako in high school, they had such a weird but delicate balance of friendship and i became curious abt what would happen with kurumi later on but the story moves past it and we have to forget about her sadly... 2 i just think the soulmate chapters are amazing and beautiful and I HAVE TO MENTION that it basically confirmed for me that ms karuho shiina did in fact do the questioning of sexuality type of undertone throughout the manga on purpose.. it didnt start off with the typical kurumi and eiji falling in love but with kurumi and sawako being together + kurumi in this umm head space where she's thinking of sawako from so many different perspectives (romantically 💖‼️, as a rival and a peer to learn from, a monumental figure in her life since sawako basically helped her grow as a person and guided her unknowingly to a much healthier mindset, and a close friend she actually felt comfortable with for the first time since elementary school) and coming to the conclusion they are soulmates regardless of anything else. it's also obviously kurumi's personal redemption story but not as some evil villain becoming good... she was never really evil but just a very misguided teenager who at the time made decisions with consequences. this is her chance to... almost like what happened to ayane when she finally let herself go (not a 1-time complete healing but the beginning of it: she took a step out her shell and stopped devaluing herself for deserving love) and redeemed herself in her own mind - is what im waiting for in this series for kurumi. she's confident and loves herself somewhat but is constantly quesitoning her motives, thinking she didnt deserve to be forgiven, and is full of doubt so she clashes constantly in her mind and ends up numbing her sense of urgency, gentleness, and care when dealing with herself. i really want her to cherish herself as fast as possible but she cant just overcome it on her own (omg that theme keeps coming back - you can't grow [to love yourself] in solitude) and it's lacking for her to just suddenly become better when a guy shows up and at the same time rush a discovery process like that so i really love the bit with sawako in the beginning. alsoo i cannot forget im so happy and proud that sawako matured from her intial earnest but unsettling awkwardness to a hmm not mellowed but a more transparent ease with communication and presenting herself while still retaining her honest character. i love love loveee the fact that shes also a lot more secure with kazehaya and when i saw them joking around with each other i had to pause for a moment bc in the beginning shes such a precious and selfless person and that's great and all but she didn't believe in herself at all.. like when the high school class pulled the dating prank on her the way she handled it is hard to watch and very telling of how she sees herself.. she underestimates gestures of love towards her as mere kindness and at the same time overestimates the effort she needs to put in to repay it while also setting a thick boundary and voluntarily putting herself on a level lower than others. but the way that she's now able to understand favors that ought to be repaid, the difference between that and a gift - defined a thing given willingly to someone without payment, helping others without hurting yourslef, being a healthy amount of selfish and etc ❤️ i cant get enough. she even set up a blind date for kurumi can you imagine how far we've come??? now for when eiji appears i was just observing in the beginnig but i love his personality so much it feels like he was gonna be a classic romance mc just rude and insufferable or a stuffy/overbearing kind of nice but his moments of vulnerability and unpredicatability are GENIUS bc kurumi has never met someone like this before (she gets so flustered and is so cute when shes around him sometimes

i feel like crying aww). oimg and i cant forget how interesting this is just becasue its a college setting and not highschool so its more (i hate reusing words 💢 but mature is the word and theres more oppurtunity for things and various situations i think. 'real' dates and staying over at each other's place... and i want to see them in those^ types of situations so badly but i dont think we'll see much 💔). also their dynamic is everything i love how unique their character is and shes (the author) definitely put a lot of effort into every single one of her characters but i did not expect her to give eiji that much depth (i know hes from one of her other works and i need to read it soon and i want to know what happened before he met her so bad 😭.....) ^like at all. i dont have much more to say but i hope kazehaya shows up and meets them all again bc im want their reactions, and i think kurumi is so adorable and eiji is the hottest guy of the series excluding sanada. the end 💗

[dameferre]

i also wanna know abt who am i really 👀

okay. so. ‘who am i really’ is the first zukka thing i ever wrote, started before i had even. finished watching the show lmao

basically i have 25k of it written, probably another 4-5k written in notes and an outline, but i am mature and knowledgeable of my own shortcomings enough to know there’s no way in hell i’ll ever finish it, because that 25k? isn’t even. 20% of the fic if i were to actually write it, like this shit would approach 200k in its final form and i very simply do not have the time to actually. write that lmao

but i’m happy to talk about it! so basically it was the whole ‘oh my god they were roommates’ premise except zuko is sokka’s downstairs neighbour, they fight over music volume, and for the first part of the fic zuko’s a bootlicking son of the city police chief and starting out at the police academy, who calls the cops on sokka for his music one night

aand i just realised how long this is gonna be so under the cut!

so we start from the ‘zuko’s a fucking asshole’ stage and move on from there, and then due to a couple of different mildly traumatic events  zuko realises the police system is inherently evil, has his whole redemption arc slash emotional breakdown and quits the force, he gets cut off by ozai and moves in w sokka for cheaper rent bc sokka is a nice person (who’s seen the way zuko has been walking around looking like absolute Death for weeks) and also needs someone to help w the rent

we also start from the point where sokka’s dating suki, and zuko’s still coming to terms with his sexuality, so there’s all that to work through

basically it just goes into the development of zuko and sokka’s friendship, and zuko’s development as a person going from an incredibly sheltered, incredibly privileged life to... the opposite of that lmao and how his friendship with the rest of the gaang grows, and his personal journey, and whatnot, just a nice little mirror for canon except w more swearing and the author talking about how all cops are bastards

it’s all self indulgent nonsense and little bits of shit that popped into my head so i wrote it down, really, but here’s my favourite bit

“So I was thinking.”

“Never a good sign.”

“Ha, ha.” Sokka deadpans. “Seriously though. I want a GNO. Drinking, dancing, questionable choices, might even get some action if I’m on my game.”

“And you think this is something I would enjoy.” Zuko, the introvert who can’t dance, responds.

“You’ll enjoy it because you’re going with your best friends, one of whom is just getting over the emotional hangover of the end of a three-year relationship.” Sokka pouts. “We can even go to a gay club! It’s been ages since I’ve been to one.”

Zuko snorts, and looks back to the TV. “I thought you wanted to get some ‘action’.”

“I mean, I would also be fine with just a fun night out with the gang. But if there are interested parties.” Sokka shrugs.

“Well, forgive me if my idea of a fun night isn’t watching Toph beat the shit out of you for creeping on lesbians at a gay club.”

Sokka makes an exasperated noise. “C’mon, you know me better than that.” He says, throwing a cheeto at the side of Zuko’s face. “I said interested parties. I can be strictly dick-tly for an evening, no sweat.”

Zuko turns, brow raised. “What does that even mean.”

“Y’know. I wouldn’t say no to a girl of the bipan persuasion if she wants to make a move, but if I’m actively pursuing anyone, it’ll just be guys. And, y’know, any non-girl people who seem into it.”

A record scratches in Zuko’s brain. “You… why would you pursue a guy.”

“I dunno, if he’s hot?” Sokka says, looking at him like he’s crazy. “Or has a nice smile? Shiny hair? I dunno, why do you usually pursue guys, Z.”

“But.” Zuko stammers, staring at Sokka. “But I’m attracted to men.”

Sokka blinks at him. “…so am I?”

What. “What.” No seriously, what. “What?!”

“Is this… are you trying to be funny?”

Zuko stares at his roommate, frantically trying to understand what’s going on. “Are you trying to be funny?!”

“No, I’m being bisexual.” Sokka says, slightly defensively. “Because I’m bisexual?”

“Since when?!”

Sokka stares at him, then gestures to wall. “Zuko, that’s been up since I moved in. I know you’ve seen it.”

Zuko turns to stare at the wall, but all he can see is- “The flag?”

“Yeah, Zuko, the fucking flag. Did you think I just thought it was pretty?”

“Is-” Zuko flounders. “Is the flag significant?”

Sokka looks intently, somewhat crazed, at Zuko’s face, like he’s searching for something. Whatever it is, he obviously doesn’t find it. His arm is still held out towards the wall, and he uses it to gesture towards the flag again, more aggressively this time. “It’s the fucking bisexual pride flag, Zuko!”

“I.” Zuko gapes at him, still confused. “I thought the pride flag was a rainbow?”

“Oh my-” Sokka starts. “Are you fucking with me right now. Is this you fucking with me.” He pauses, staring at Zuko. “Jesus fuck, Zuko, there are different flags for different sexualities. That’s the bisexual one.”

Zuko stares at the flag, then back at Sokka, then back at the flag. Then back at Sokka. “Well how was I supposed to know that?!”

“Everybody knows that, Zuko!” Sokka exclaims, then brings his hand up to rub at the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I guess you just. Didn’t know that. Somehow. And that’s fine. Point being, I am bisexual. I am attracted to all genders, I’ve been- I thought- out since I was sixteen. So yeah. I’m bi.”

“But.” Zuko’s brain has been trying to process this information, and now rejects it entirely. “But that. You can’t be.”

Sokka gives him a weird look. “I can’t be?” His face shifts, into something sort of… defensive. Wary, almost. “Do you have a problem with bisexuals?”

“What?” Oh shit. “No, of- of course not! I- I love bisexuals! All of the- um,” Zuko’s mind races, trying to think of a bi person he knows personally, and then frantically widening its search to any bisexual human being in all of recorded history. “Jet! Jet’s bi! Love Jet, he’s, um. Yeah! Bi.”

Sokka’s face isn’t defensive anymore, but it is shocked. And- something else, Zuko can’t quite place. “You love Jet?”

“What?”

“You just said you loved Jet.” Sokka says, sort of quietly. “I just- I guess I didn’t know you guys were at that point.”

Zuko absolutely does not love Jet. Only Jet loves Jet. But Sokka’s looking at him, lit by the artificial glow of the TV, still the most attractive thing Zuko’s ever seen. So Zuko’s self-preservation instinct kicks in. “Uh. Yeah, you know.” He swallows. “It’s still pretty new, but. Yeah.”

“Well hey, that’s.” Sokka gives a small smile. “That’s great.” He places his hands on his thighs, pushing up off the couch. “I’m just gonna text everybody, see if we can get the night planned.”

He walks away, leaving Zuko to his mental breakdown in peace.

Sokka’s bi.

Sokka.

Is bi.

[later that week or some transition i haven’t written lmao]

“Zuko, you know I’m bi, right?” Suki laughs, but the grin slides off her face when Zuko hesitates. “You know that, right.”

Zuko makes a reluctant face. “I know now…?”

“Oh my-“ Suki stares at him, then looks at Sokka who makes a face as if to say ‘see, what did I tell you’. “Ew, Zuko!” She cries. “Ew, you thought- you thought I was straight?!”

“You had a boyfriend,” Zuko defends himself weakly.

Suki looks like she wants to scream. “I’ve never been so offended in my entire life.”

“Now you know how I feel.” Sokka says.

“Me! A straight girl!” She laughs, slightly hysterical. “Me!”

“Okay, I guess I just-” Zuko starts, but Suki holds out two fingers in front of his face, shutting him up.

“No no, that’s enough from you today.” She looks, wide-eyed, at Sokka. “What do I have to do, paint the fucking bi flag on my face?”

Sokka snorts. “He wouldn’t recognise it, anyway.”

Suki turns back to glare at Zuko. “I thought we were friends, Zuko.”

and then in a perfect world this would be followed by a montage of all the times sokka has definitely been openly bisexual in front of ‘still coming to terms with his own sexuality’ zuko who’d just. wrote it off as bro culture

[unkwn0s]

Vincenzo Ep. 20 (Finale) Ranting.

What a rollercoaster that was you guys! (SPOILERS AND LONG POST AHEAD).

I'm writing this right as i finish watching the drama bc the feelings and thoughts are still very fresh and this is a ranting + some analysis too.

Let's start w the death of Jang Han Seo: I'm truly sorry to everyone but me and everyone else saw it coming, even if you denied and hoped it to be a trick. His development was amazing and well written but if there's one thing i've learned watching kdramas is that not just bc you had a redemption arc you'll have a happy ending alive (Hi TOTNT lee rang), i do not think it was necessary to kill him, having chayoung and vincenzo lose their parents and people dear to them but i guess the writers really wanted that shocking factor to contribute on making Jang Han Seok into a monster that no one would feel guilty getting rid of (which honestly worked for me).

The parallel of the hospital scene. I confess i would have been pissed off if we didn't get that one (partly bc i love mirror scenes so much it's such a pleasure to me). But what got me the most is that from the moment Chayoung took the bullet she knew Vincenzo would feel guilty and first thing she did when she opened her eyes was to tell him it wasn't his fault and on god for a non romance drama their feelings for each other were so strong that i felt it slapping me across the monitor even without a proper dolled up typical confession scene.

Choi Myunghee ending. RIGHTFULL, one of the best things i've ever watched in my whole entire life. I don't know if the actress was that good or is it the hate i have for people who quietly evil things and think they are so right about it but there were times i felt more anger towards her than Han Seok, maybe bc his character was (as said on that trial) a lost psycho case since always but not her, she was cold headed and hearted, she was very rational and even tho she kept getting owned up by Vincenzo she never showed signs of slowing down so her ending was predictable but deserved.

Jang Han Seok: for the same reasoning of Choi Myunghee it was satisfying and deserved. I don't know how it might sound but particularly i agree w the line of thought Vincenzo had "Justice doesn't help you solve ALL the problems, sometimes you need to think like a villain to take down a bigger evil". i saw a tiktok a few days ago that talked about how South Korea has been exploring dramas that deal with corruption lately and for that i think Vincenzo was brilliant on approaching the topic in such a different way. The other options rather letting people like the prosecutor and the biggest enemy to either run away or spend jailtime (when they either could get out easily or live comfortably w no heavy conscience of what they have done, just by using some bribes). So giving them that dramatic ending reinforces the thought that dialogue and conventional justice are not always a solution that brings satisfaction. I love revenge plots so you'll never see me complaining about "an eye for and eye" stories.

The Geumga tenants: amazing, brilliant, never done before. The definition of family is not always a blood thing. So nicely written the way some random people who would be easy for Vincenzo to wipe out to get to his point became so reliable. "Alone we go quicker but together we can go further away". Love the cast so much.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST. MY CHAENZO BABIES. Now as i said in the other post i wish people would understand that Vincenzo was neither a Romance drama or made to be based on his relationship with Chayoung, their story was something that grew in the middle of chaos (i'd like to say like those little plants that you see on concrete, they might seem weak but even tho you try to tear it apart it grows stronger again). From strangers, to partners, to friends and WHEW to lovers. I can't find english words that describe how much i love their construction over the episodes as i've said in the previous post they don't have the typical storyline of love interests other dramas have and they speak w actions louder than words. Chayoung accepted Vincenzo and his ways and still held onto her morals (who seemed grey by the start of the drama and honestly could still be but she still had boundaries) and Vincenzo knew that the moment he became aware of his feelings for her AND respected it. Now i know there will be people upset over the ending but i honestly had this in mind and considering the circumstances of their relationship i think it was decent and fair, as his last lines said he won't change his ways but chayoung was welcomed to his life. I think it was a mature view on relationships and perfect for those, like me, who love a dramatic story.

[shitididnthaveablogfor]

less is morgue brainrot time whoop

so ik bubba was being a shithead when he kidnapped riley, v obvious, but also not only has he expanded on his lack of social skills in S2E1 i also really got the vibe that it was more his brother that had fucked up views on how dating works and bubba was more going along with it, granted that might be just bc we couldnt understand bubba in the ep or maybe me not wanting to blame him for his own actions bc of his mental state but anywayyyyyyy

i am a shipper, its what i do, i get sad and then i bash fictional charcters together like theyre barbie dolls until im less sad so when riley was nice to him and he wanted to take them on a date i was already seated in the bubba redemption train

and the court episode really just helps a lot with this bc it characterizes bubba more than the few scraps we got before

also side note! ik riley is ace but do they have a canon romantic orientation? bc if theyre aro im gonna sound real dumb haha anywayyy

i just really like the idea of bubba seeing the error of his ways and genuinely apologizing to riley and evelyn for the whole kidnapping thing and then after a bit they go back to being on good terms and then they become actual friends and bubba makes them a face mask 🥺 which riley appreciates bc its a nice gesture but also sick thats a dead guys face hell yeah and i just want riley to wear it (ev thinks its gross and weird but supports her bestie bc shes nice like that) and bubba is incredibly happy abt it, but riley ends up eating it bc its literally a snack on their face!! ofc they eat it!! and maybe theyre worried bubba will be sad (not sure how theyd show that tho since its yk riley) but bubba is just happy they liked it in the first place and did expect them to eat it at some point anyway

also i want them to hold hands

it is 2am thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[red-hood-vigilante]

hbo spn storylines, drabbles, ideas, thoughts, wishlist, whatever you may call it. it’s messy, nothing makes sense and pretty sure a lot of these contradict each other

more of sam at stanford with jessica/flashbacks. jessica potentially lives but is revealed to be a demon (but she developed actual feelings for sam and really did come to care for him because a demon falling in love with a human would be SO interesting) OR she lives but her memory gets wiped like dean did to lisa OR she dies like she did but she is a ghost that haunts sam (he welcomes it but eventually he lets her go -> character arc). he still dreams about her though and he has her keepsakes with him wherever he goes, her rings, her favourite book, anything that was left of her from the fire

you have to be extremely careful when making deals with demons because they are cunning and evil creatures. they will follow the rules of the deal but will find loopholes to put some sadistic twist on the terms. you want money? of course, too bad you’ll be arrested for fraud before you can use any of it and spend the next ten years in jail before i drag you to hell. you want a perfect husband? sure he’ll love you. in fact, he’ll love you so much he’ll keep you locked up in the basement to keep you safe etc etc. saving a person often becomes the person that causes or leads to your death.

the creation of jack: after s5, when lucifer is trapped in the cage again lucifer fuses his own soul with a human soul to create jack, who escapes to earth to find sam and castiel. i have a longer post about this saved in my drafts

lucifer is trapped for good in the cage after s5 but if he was to return again, dean would kill him while sam would kill michael - this would be nice parallels and a sort of fulfillment of the “one brother must kill the other” prophecy because one brother DO kill another brother, just not their own

more azazel and how he came to the plan of how to free lucifer; opening a hell gate earlier, more experimentations with the demon blood etc

mary was infected with the blood when she was a baby, sam is the first and only second generation special child (longer post about that here)

personally, i want to see more and know more about john and mary’s relationship. when mary died, john and mary had fulfilled their destiny (having sam and dean) so does that mean that his love and dedication to mary post her death was falsely fabricated by the angels to ensure sam and dean would grow up in ideal conditions to become hunters? or maybe, after mary’s death, john wakes up from the spell with two kids he doesn’t recognize and a wife he thinks he loved, but the memories of the past years of his life are like a fever dream; he never wanted to live in a town like this nor was he interested in having kids? but here the house is, and here are his kids, but now he’s alone and empty and with no answers. (idk i just find john and mary and their relationship very fascinating) if the latter, if john and mary see each other again it’s like the spell activates again and they become blindly in love with each other, but once gone, they return to their confused and hazey state of mind, like just woken up from a coma

i do like mary coming back but i love how in s5 when she wasn’t found in heaven it was hinted that she was just discarded because she had fulfilled her “purpose” and i think this adds to the whole notion of how heaven and angels can be really cruel AND how mary is this mythical, religious figure to both sam and dean and we only get to know her through their lenses, like religion and faith

ruby is present for a longer amount of time to make the reveal even more shocking. at one point or another, dean does actually trust her and they all work together on cases for a while. ruby’s backstory as a witch is more explored. i like her death in s4 because she’s in this total state of euphoria and has achieved a goal only she was entrusted with, and she is so convinced sam will understand, until sam holds her down while dean carves her heart out. so we either keep that or she serves lucifer for a while (until he kills her which she is happy about because of her blind loyalty to him, could again mirror dean and john/castiel and heaven) or she serves lucifer and like crowley she realizes lucifer will kill demons after humans (redemption arc, but i don’t really like that, let her be evil!!)

dean and sam helps bela out of her deal and she becomes their go-to person when they need a magic item or book. she doesn’t like it but she owes them. regularly hooks up with jo.

angels are really hollow soldiers - they only follow orders and don’t understand the concept free will or choice or individuality at all. they are extremely righteous and strike without warning often on a whim, often very bloody (explosions a la castiel in swan song). if something fall into what they consider justice they will kill it. no concept of love, attraction or gender. real form can’t be perceived by humans unless they want them to, which leads to eyes melting (pamela) or breaking a person’s mind (in 5.16 zachariah actually says that sam and dean sees him in his vessel bc they’re ‘limited’. so.)

castiel, anna, maybe uriel and some others are exceptions to this, but only becomes so after longer exposure to human’s world. even then, they don’t change their violent whims, just the reasoning and where their loyalty lies

hbo spn is s1-5 stretched out for 8-10 seasons with the aesthetics of s1-2. i’m cutting out demon dean, purgatory, the mark of cain, the men of letters, the alphas, leviathatan, god being the real villain all along and the other worlds because it was just too much and far remived from the roadtrip aesthetic. keeping kevin, charlie (she is introduced via ash bc they’re hacker friends), the trials, rowena, uuuh the angels falling is such an interesting concept but idk if it would fit. maybe metatron? but his motivations are different. soullessness + the concept of souls might be kept if it’s explained better. i’m torn on whether or not to include the campbells

hell, heaven and purgatory are explained but only seen in glimpses, keep these ideas ambiguous and up to interpretation outside of what we hear. remember the line ‘hell is...well, it’s like hell. even for demons’? leave it at that. the exception is 5.16 bc that episode fucks so hard

if we end on swan song and let the show be the tragedy it is, i want to keep the ambiguous ending. is that sam or lucifer? if it’s sam, will he contact dean or walk away? we will never know! there is also no ‘the world is ending’ more than once, it really lost its impact after the second or third time.

idk how i feel about the men of letters - it is logical that there would be organized hunting and an established network and system on how to do things, but for the sake of keeping it hbo-style and grounded, there are no networks beyond the roadhouse and singer’s salvage yard.

i want sam and dean not have a permanent home except the impala, motels and impala ONLY. the bunker had potential but it was just for the sake of convenience it was there with all the lore and answers they needed when it was necessary. maybe eventually they do stop travelling so much when it becomes more about the Big Stuff instead of the episodic cases that requires driving all the time but it will be like an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. i want sam and dean to never have a physical house as a home but they scrape together whatever they have make something similar to a show

as the show progresses, sam and dean become pretty hated by other hunters because they’ve started apocalypse and have an increasingly shitty reputation. and john was an infamous good hunter but also a dick. everybody knows that people who work with the winchesters often end up dead, that one brother will sacrifice anything and anyone to save the other and that they frequently work alongside demons. even the ones they DO work with (jo, ellen, bobby, rufus, bela) are hesitant to be involved with them

sam’s powers are strong but after killing lilith and the truth revealed to him, he represses the powers in shock and fear of how blinded he was by them and the rush of power they gave him. a little more about how sam fears what the lust for power and strength did to him. he continues to repress his powers, often to a dangerous point where he will be on death’s door as a result of not using them. when meeting jack and mentoring him in using his powers, jack asks him about sam’s powers after sensing them. sam eventually decides to lead by example and embraces his powers again, but remains extremely careful about using them (this also fulfills dean’s arc of having to let go of the holy-innocent-pure-ideal-not a person but an idealized version of sam-little brother sam he has put on a pedestal for so long)

bobby is viewed as a father figure by sam and dean but bobby makes it clear he doesn’t want that burden or relationship in his life after his wife died. he makes this clear to them too, but sam and dean have fucked up perceptions of parental figures so they don’t think bobby means it (they just latch on to whatever parental figures they can find)

we see more of sam’s relationship with the side characters; sam and jo hunt together on occasion, he hangs out with ash and talks hacking when visiting the roadhouse. he and ellen loves playing poker together. if anything, dean is the one who’s isolated - he only ever really cared about mary, john, sam and cassie, and never really had any friends. sam is way more well adjusted and sociable after spending time at stanford where he’s had conversations that didn’t only revolve around dead bodies and lore. 

this could also feed into dean’s extreme abandonment issues and isolation he feels and how this would affect his psyche

sam and dean are both unknowingly prepared to become the perfect vessels; sam loses his humanity by becoming more and more like lucifer (defying his father and his will) while dean becomes prepared by doing what michael did; casting his brother away in his time of need (blindly following his father and his will). very much like in s4 but even more intense and brutal (i love angst :))

we see different hybrids; demon/human (antichrist), human/(arch)angel (nephilim) and demon/angel (???), but none of them are all powerful bc narratively that’s really boring. they’re strong but have very specific powers that affects them and/or their surroundings in catastrophic ways (but no other worlds bs, we stick to the road trip aesthetic, keep it grounded). i want the only all powerful character to be god but he doesn’t show up at all, he’s the ultimate absent father. is it chuck? we never find out!

powers would for example include giving people diseases, force anyone close to them to tell the truth (not consciously, it’s just the air around them), read minds, create storms, light things on fire when they’re angry, make people hallucinate etc. like fucked up shit but not things that are too grande because again - that’s really boring

abbadon, the princes of hell and the four horsemen are more fleshed out villains instead of the one season reign the each had. 

being a prince of hell is a title that is inherited - after azazel dies, sam gets the title because he is the one with azazel’s blood in him OR meg does, but idk if that would be as interesting (if she actually was his daughter)

it remains a horror show throughout, lots of gore and blood

the moral code and ethics of the brothers are the opposite of the beginning; dean thinks in black and white, sam sees shades of grey and individuals instead of what they are. however, as the show progresses, their train of thought becomes opposites; dean becomes more open to how people are true evil and how monsters are often victims of their circumstance while sam becomes harsher and less forgiving after ruby’s betrayal along with finding out the truth of his existence and how there’s been demons around his entire life. eventually they’re on the same page and they see the circumstances. 

on the other hand; i also really fuck with the idea of dean maintaining his black and white morals on that all monsters=inherently evil, humans=inherently pure and good, but he is the only human on team free will. sam is half demon, castiel is an angel, jack is a nephilim, rowena is a witch, garth is a werewolf, mary is a zombie etc

demons become demons in hell by agreeing to become the torturer and thus giving up their humanity to be free of pain, does that mean they could become humans again by regaining some humanity? by doing good deeds? (potentially this is confirmed with jessica and how she came to love sam; genuine love and care for a human could reverse the demon process?) this also means dean was a demon in hell but was purified/turned back again when castiel raised him. this also plays into dean becoming like michael; in trying to absolve himself from what he did in hell he becomes ruthless, unforgiving and righteous to evil, much like the angels, regardless of his personal connection to a person and what he would consider “evil”

dean and pacifisim: after dean is cured from being a demon/the mark of cain/is made aware of his blind righteousness that he used as an excuse to kill, he becomes firmly determined to reign in his anger and violent tendencies by becoming a pacifist (like sam in s11) as a way to redeem all the blood he’s spilled. of course in his profession and true dean fashion he won’t be able to do it 100% so he decides to only act in self defense, and he only goes batshit violent on the offense when it’s about protecting sam

OR. dean’s self righteousness becomes his own downfall; the belief that all evil must be eradicated, refusal to see the circumstances and the shades of grey is what pushes him to lose his humanity and become a demon and therefore, in a potential ending the ruler of hell, because i think it would such an interesting journey from a to b, that dean starts out human, revels in his holiness, executes and kills in the name of his own holiness in the belief that he’s becoming the ultimate angel, the ultimate hero when it’s doing the opposite. if this happened then sam would take the opposite route; starts as a human, becomes more and more demonic, stops himself and returns to his hopeful and optimistic self, has faith and humility and that is what makes him ascend from abomination to purified and holy (trials). 

this could be a perfect 10 season structure as well: s1-5 are when sam and dean start off humans; dean becomes holy and as close to an angel a human can be, while sam drinks the demon blood and almost becomes one to gain the freedom and power he wants, but begins to turn it around to send lucifer back to hell. s6-10 is when dean becomes the unholy and sam becomes the holy even though neither realize because now there’s no grand master plan - this is who they are, who they choose themselves. don’t know how this ould end though; either as normal humans again (but there wouldn’t really be a ”normal” after everything) or they really go off the rails with sam like ruling heaven (not as god though, just as a good and just man) and dean ruling hell. castiel is human and stays on earth with jack.

the gothic americana aesthetic is kept throughout the entire show and is only shot on film

after s5 castiel returns to heaven to help restore order, and he takes charge for a little while, but eventually returns to earth after trying to introduce democracy to angels who didn’t get it. in his place, anna takes over and she rules heaven well (after trying to kill mary when going back in time she isn’t killed by michael, but narrowly escapes and remains in hiding to heal until castiel reaches out and finds her)

when finding out they are The Vessels and will be brought back regardless of what they try, sam and dean explore what this means more. dean throws himself into dangers and to protect others. he is burned, blown up, stabbed, electrocuted, beheaded and eaten, but wakes up the next morning in his bed without a scratch, without any pain and memories of his deaths. he revels in this untouchability. sam kills himself over and over only to be resurrected again and again by lucifer. he remembers the pain and blood.

that being said, while dean is like angel royalty, sam is demon royalty. the demons don’t go after him, they don’t hurt him. some even offer up themselves to be drained of blood, even after lilith’s death. it makes it really difficult to stay clean but he pulls through with dean and castiel actually supporting him. to help sam get through his addiction, dean stops drinking alcohol and they go through their withdrawal together

the angels almost worship dean as the michael sword and have an open disgust towards sam for being lucifer’s vessel - they always answer dean’s prayers and calls for help, they follow his orders if need be and don’t hesitate to heal him if he needs it. sam could pray until his vocal chords bleed or call out for help while holding his guts in his hands; none of the angels would come to his aid. the only one who answers sam’s prayers is lucifer as a voice in sam’s head or a hallucination. sam could call demons to help him out but he refuses

sam isn’t the first hunter to drink demon blood, to try to enhance his own abilities using the supernatural as a means to get there - there are hunters who have altered themselves with parts from werewolves and vampires to become better hunters, like the styne family (the guys from s10), blurring the lines again of what’s good and human vs what is evil and inhumane

if angels can’t find a vessel to volunteer, they will force them to say yes - the how is not important, only that the ‘yes’ is said, whether its meant or not, any verbal yes will do. the angels never sleep and they never eat, which is disturbing to sam and dean who are exhausted all the time and eat scraps whenever they can

castiel, like all other angels, is taught to despise and not care about sam winchester at all, but the more castiel gets to know sam, he becomes fascinated with him, how lucifer’s ultimate vessel, starter of the apocalypse and destroyer of god’s creation can be so kind and gentle, so full of faith, acceptance, optimism and hope. in dean castiel sees a good man, yes, but also a man who’s bloodthirsty, rages, revels in war, resorts all problems with violence, loves conditionally and expects unquestioned loyalty. sam too, has a darkness and bloodthirst in him, but it only comes out in glimpses. castiel thinks it’s funny, how sam turns out to be the opposite of lucifer while dean is so alike michael