not incredibly thrilled with what’s going on here
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I love Trucy so much but I’m just thinking about her and Phoenix’s first couple of months living together
Trucy moves so silently (“she’s like… the twins from that scary movie”), so Phoenix either has his eye on her constantly so she won’t get into trouble (or hurt herself) or
“Hello Daddy.”
SHIT— has to restraint himself from flinging what he’s holding into the nearest wall, “o-oh! Hey Trucy!”
Staring at him with her All Seeing Eyes, “do you want to see something cool.”
Oh— oh god please don’t let it be a body. Do we have mice? Did she catch a mouse??? “Oh, yeah, sure thing kiddo.”
Tenderly takes him by the hand and pulls him into her room, “I organized all my socks by color.”
“…oh. Wow. Cool!”
“I also organized all my construction paper by color but that seemed less important at the time”
“Uh-…huh”
AND AN ASIDE I THINK ITS VERY IMPORTANT that Phoenix takes EVERYTHING IN STRIDE, like yessss king, water off a ducks back, this is your child now
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next month me and my grandma are going to visit my godfather who lives in Spain, but instead of being excited (it's gonna be my second time abroad in my life) I'm anxious af, because even though I'm an adult I live with my parents and I need to tell my father about it. normal parents would - y'know - be happy that their children have opportunity to visit another country, but instead he's gonna be insufferable about it, because it's my mom's side of family and he despises my uncle. but what is he gonna do? kick me out of the house even though he promised that as long as I'm studying or working I don't need to worry about such thing, humiliate me as usual, tell me that I'm childish and spoiled or make my mom's life a living hell again? I'm aware of the fact that the longer I'm putting it off the worse his reaction is gonna be, but I'm just not mentally able to tell him that, because I don't know how he will react. I don't need any money from him, I don't have to use my phone during this trip (I dunno how the roaming and stuff work), I just want to be sure he's gonna behave like a proper human being towards my mom and my siblings when I won't be at home and not act like a total asshole while talking with me about it.
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later half of the workday today was turning into bird watching simulator oh my god (vigilantly watching the sky so hawks didnt swoop down and grab one of our little dogs in daycare) (i saw like three of them today and one flew RIGHT OVER THE SMALL DOG YARD) (i literally dont know what im supposed to do if a hawk DOES come down. do i try to beat the shit out of it with the crop ???? i was also the only one out there so i was w the big dogs yard so they dont kill each other am i supposed to launch myself over the fence to beat the fuck out of a hawk because how am i going to get there fast enough if i dont jump the fence ??? 😭 i dont think im strong enough for that) (this post wouldve been funnier if i didnt yap so much in the parentheses but. its who i am . a yapper </3)
also saw like two monarch butterflies and four butterflies in general????? quick pic of one of the butterflies under the cut 💥
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alright. mutuals does anyone want to house me for like a year so i can disappear from here
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Before my father died, he gave me approval for my choice of girlfriend. I mean, he didn't know she was my gf but he took one look at her and that was enough to get him to routinely bring her up. He only had good things to say about her. He said he really liked her. My father was never one to comment on my friends. Even ones I brought around constantly. The fact he took such a liking to my girlfriend that he brought her up completely unprompted seemed really significant at the time. I haven't thought of it since we broke up but I just remembered and oh man. I guess it was really just random.
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I have another gig in a week and I'm so nervous 😭 I get paid hundreds of dollars for only five hours of work, but it is so nerve-racking and the work environment is so stressful, like literally every time I'm there I'm on the verge of tears or I have to take a 2 minute break before the show starts just to run to the restrooms and cry bc I get so stressed out. And then when I clock out I just cry my eyes out in my car while driving home. But hey!!! Hundreds of dollars!!! For five or six hours of my time!!! Only a few days a month!!! Hundreds!!! Of dollars!!! So it would be totally stupid to quit.
I wouldn't have been able to afford pampering myself on my last two F/O anniversaries (and currently placing an order for a rose bouquet for Six's anniversary for the 18th) if I didn't have this second job... but if it didn't pay me such a large amount of money each time, I probably would have quit by now bc it makes me so damn anxious. The show isn't even for one week and I'm sitting here stressing about it! I have one thousand other things to stress about and this job shouldn't be one of 'em 😤
I just keep trying to think about Ken hugging me while saying "Aw, sweet girl, don't be nervous! You JUST started this job, you've only worked three shows -- you think you're gonna be perfect your first try?? You're gonna be so good once you get the hang of it. Just look at me! I've been doing Beach for 62 years now, and I still don't know what my job is supposed to be... but I know I look So Cool™ 😎"
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