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ethan-torchio-angelo · 3 years

Text

Oh, love

Summary: It takes a year of trial and error, of love and heartbreak, for the two to finally realize there's no one else they'd rather be with. Or in which she becomes they're photographer for a summer tour and falls in love with the dark haired drummer.

Word Count: 10.3k

Warnings: swearing, angst, sexual content

A/N: I just want to say a huge thank you to @ethanesimp for proofreading and hyping this fic up, thank you so much amore! This is the first piece I've written for any of the members of maneskin, and also the longest thing I've ever written! Feedback is greatly appreciated!

January

It’s a call in the middle of the day that begins it all. She’s been in a shoot all morning, running around snapping photos of a wanna-be teen idol. She’s been here many times, being hired to do promo shots for someone who never makes it farther than this. But this call, she knows it’s different. She’s heard the name, seen some videos, she knows this won’t be like the rest. She’s instructed to clear her schedule for the week and to be in Rome by the end of the day.

The cold air hits her as she leaves the building, suitcase and camera bag in hand. This is the moment she’s been waiting for since joining the company, the chance to become a permanent fixture instead of hopping from gig to gig. She’s told that they requested her specifically, that one of the band members saw her collection from a festival last summer and was dead set on booking her for their summer tour. It’s all new to her, the feeling of being the first choice and not second best. She barely hears anything that’s said on the plane by their manager, too busy trying not to freak out.

It’s only a few hours plane ride, but it feels like a lifetime. Thoughts run wild in her head as the seconds tick by, she can’t remember the last time she’d been this excited, or nervous, for something. She’s greeted by more people from their team as she steps off the plane, and is quickly ushered to the villa they’ve been staying in. She barely has time to process the beautiful new city she’s in before she’s hidden by walls of an even more beautiful place.

They give her time to relax and unpack, but clear instructions to not leave the property without security. Things have been crazy, she’s told, since their winning last year fans have become more clever with their tactics. She laughs at some of the stories, but heeds the warning all the same. She’s seen quite a few things that have shaken her to her core, so she knows to be careful and wary.

Music floats through the halls and into her room, the band practicing on the other side of the villa. The music fills her veins with a feeling she can’t quite place, but it’s a welcome humming that gets her blood pumping. She grabs her camera and follows the melodies, laughing at the jokes thrown around in english whenever someone messes up. She angles herself behind a corner just right where she can take pictures while still being hidden from the band.

Her heart races at the scene in front of her. It’s a family like she’s never seen. They all seem to orbit around each other, pushing and pulling each other into their atmospheres. She watches Victoria dance around the room, bass in hand, strumming the lines to an old song. Thomas lays on the floor with a notebook reading off words, Damiano repeating them as he draws on eyeliner. And Ethan, who sits at his drum set, twirling the drumsticks in his hand as he observes the scene before him.

She captures picture after picture of their dynamic, taking the most of Ethan, who seems to have a magnetic pull to him. She only pulls herself from the moment when she’s spotted. “Sai, qualcuno chiamerebbe questo strano comportamento.”

The words are warm against her ear, and she jumps at the unexpected presence. She turns around, laughing to hide her embarrassment, trying to translate the words in her head. She freezes when she sees it’s Ethan, trying to figure out when he slipped away from the rest of the group.

“Ah, niente italiano. Er, it’s unusual, what you are doing.”

Another nervous laugh leaves her lips, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be creepy. There’s something about the way the group is when no one is watching, it’s hard to ignore, it needed to be captured.”

He smiles at that. It’s soft and warm and she feels as if the world has stopped spinning. A song plays between their hearts as a silence falls over them. There’s a beauty about him that makes it hard to focus on anything but him.

A series of crashes followed by loud curses in Italian breaks the spell that they were under and Ethan pulls himself away from her to go and manage his friends. She uses this moment as an excuse to slip away and tour the rest of the house, ending in the kitchen where dinner is being prepared. She snaps a few photos of the chefs cooking, already envisioning the blog post they’ll go along with.

When everyone has made their way to the dining room a toast is made; to new adventures, to new friends, and to family. Sweet wine and light rain makes the time pass faster and the evening flows into night easily. The group parts only moments after midnight, long days ahead calling them to catch up on sleep now.

The month flows by with days and nights blurring together. It seems the studio is really the only place they call home, spending every waking moment in the room that houses their instruments. She stays with them through the long hours, snapping photos of the weird things they get themselves up to. Her hard drive slowly fills with collections of each band member, ones for the public eye and ones she sends to them to make them laugh.

The end of the month brings a party, something small to celebrate sold out tour dates. A night out to a local bar and far too many drinks. She dances with Victoria, who has become her best friend in the few weeks she’s been with them. Damiano and his girlfriend are not far away, but much more caught up in their own world. Thomas has disappeared somewhere, no doubt warming someone's bed for the night. But through all the commotion, she can’t stop watching Ethan.

He’s sitting at a table nursing the only drink he’s had that night, planning to take on the role of babysitter at the end of the night once everyones had too much to drink. He drums his fingers on the table, following the beat of each song that plays. He seems lost in his own world, content with being by himself. She moves away from Victoria, who easily finds another partner, and makes her way to the table.

“Sembri solo,” the words fall from her lips quietly as she takes a seat beside him.

He smiles at her, “Seems your little lessons are paying off.”

She blushes at that, not realizing he’d picked up on her daily lessons with their English tutor. “Only enough to not seem like a tourist.”

A small chuckle escapes his lips, and she wishes she could bottle the sound.

“But don’t change the subject. Tonight was about having fun, celebrating a big accomplishment. Yet you’re sitting here alone.”

He sighs at her insistence, “Sometimes we don’t need to celebrate everything so publicly.”

Something pulls at her heart. She can’t imagine having such a public life, but she understands how it must feel to never have anything to yourself. Before she knows what she’s doing, she places a hand on his arm and gives it a reassuring squeeze, a light tingle shooting between the two of them.

She pulls her hand away quickly, a small blush forming on both their cheeks. He offers her a small smile to make the moment less awkward, and she returns it.

The night ends not too much later, the rest of the crew having decided that warm beds would be much more comfortable than the crowded bar. She helps Ethan herd their friends home, laughing along with him at their drunken antics. Victoria jokingly calls them mom and dad as they help her to bed, and the blush that was plastered on her face earlier that night makes a second appearance.

It’s almost morning by the time she makes it to her own room. Ethan isn’t far behind her, realizing for the first time tonight that they share the same hallway. “Buona notte,” comes his voice from down the hall.

She turns to face him, catching herself stuck in his stare. She can’t quite place the look in his eyes, but it gives her butterflies all the same.

“Buona notte.”

February

February brings more time in the studio and less time outside the walls of the Villa. While winter in Rome is not like the ones you’d experience in colder places, it still brings a chill to her bones. She steals one of Victoria's sweaters after a night spent lounging under the stars, a small break from a busy schedule.

A fire had been lit and a bottle of sweet wine was making its way around the group. She’d set her camera aside for the evening, planning on enjoying a night without the calls of work. She doesn’t know when it happens, but suddenly she’s swaying to a drunken beat in the arms of Damiano who can’t stop giggling at her two left feet. The man had not believed her when she said she couldn’t dance, but was now biting his tongue as they moved around the courtyard.

As the night seemed to come to a lull, a game of truth or dare was proposed and all were in agreement. She finds herself sitting beside Thomas on the floor as Victoria begins the game, a stupid dare aimed towards Damiano that earns him a new haircut. The night drags on in a flurry of laughter and silly dares. By midnight half the group is wearing someone else’s clothes, and the others have barely any on.

She’s moved to be sitting by Ethan, who has an arm casually draped across her shoulder. It shouldn’t feel so electric, his skin touching hers, but it does and it’s the only thing she can focus on. Her heart feels like it’s almost beating out of her chest and the blush on her face isn’t caused by the alcohol in her system.

Damiano is the first to notice her situation, and starts poking fun at her whenever it was his turn to ask her something. It started off innocent enough, small questions aimed towards her love life, but it soon caught the attention of Thomas who was the first one to issue a dare towards the girl. This was how she’d ended up sitting beside Ethan, cuddled into his side. Ethan was oblivious to the things going on around them, until Victoria dared her to kiss him.

It seems as though time stops, the laughter fades and the silence becomes deafening. She turns towards Ethan, a mixture of panic and excitement painted on her face. He smiles at her, “We don’t have to, amore.”

“A dares a dare.” She shrugs at him.

A round of cheers raises up around them as the two lean in. It’s meant to be only a small peck, something good enough to count in the eyes of those around them. But as she goes to pull away his hand reaches up to tangle in her hair and he pulls her closer. Their lips meet again without any hesitation and it’s like the world lights up around them. Blame it on the alcohol, but if she were to die right now she’d be happy.

They pull away a second later, a small laugh leaving both of them, chests rising at an unsteady rhythm.

“Awe, they’re blushing! How cute!” Comes the voice of Damiano, further pulling a blush from the girl.

She grabs one of the pillows beside her and aims it at his head, laughing when she misses terribly.

The night fades into morning and they all climb to the roof to watch the sunrise. It’s a moment she wants tattooed in her memories forever. She’s got her arms wrapped around Victoria and the three boys huddle around them, alcohol still flows through their veins and they’re all singing different versions of the same song.

March

The beginning of spring in Rome is magical. Flowers start to bloom, mornings are coated in a light dusting of rain, and clothing starts to become less of a necessity. She takes photos of the band trapezing the streets. The Villa studio has become too familiar, moving instead to a studio in the city.

By now, a routine has been put in place. Mornings sipping coffee and eating fresh pastries while she laughs at the varying states of wake the band is in. Afternoons in the studio, recording their new album while she collects photos and videos for their ‘making of’. Evenings spent in restaurants and bars, eating some of the best food she’s ever had, and she swears she’ll never eat anything better.

She’s never fallen in love with a city like this before. Maybe it’s the city, or maybe it’s the people she’s with, but she swears she never wants to leave. It suffocates her in the best way possible, the feeling of being home. She hopes that when the tours over and her contracts up, that she’ll move here, maybe even keep these people she’s grown so close to in the past few months.

She’s thrown out of the daydream by Thomas yelling at her in a mix of italian and english for not paying attention. It’s the middle of the afternoon, they’ve taken a lunch break at a restaurant down the block, and Thomas is expressively telling a story. His hands are in the air and he’s almost knocked his wine glass over too many times to count.

Damiano sits across from her, fiddling with her camera, snapping his own photos that he presents to her proudly. She laughs at every one, but never discourages his actions. Victoria is on her left, Ethan on her right, both vying for her approval as they argue over something. She’s overwhelmed by the different directions her brain is being tugged, but the hand that snakes its way into hers calms her.

She looks down to see Ethan rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand, a soft smile grazing his lips as they make eye contact. She returns it, whispering a small thank you to the boy.

That night, she lays in bed, in the room she’s begun to finally call hers, thinking of the boy with stars in his eyes. She doesn’t know if it’s feeling like she finally belongs somewhere, or the wine that still coats her veins, but there’s something about him that she wishes she could become a part of. She wants to wrap herself in it and never leave. She’s falling for him, hard. Vaffanculo.

April

It is Victoria's birthday and everyone has decided that she must be princess for the day. Ethan and Damiano have been up since dawn making an extravagant breakfast, something that should be put in a five star restaurant. Her and Thomas had disappeared shortly after waking, returning with a stack of presents that was almost as tall as him, and the best bouquet of flowers she could find.

After decorating the patio with anything and everything they could find, it was a mad dash to Victoria's room to wake her up. She protested, claiming that sleep was more important than being awake, but at the mention of presents she was the first one out of the room.

It was a morning of happiness, and a much needed break from their hectic schedule. She recorded the entire day, from the dramatic wake up call to the celebratory sparklers that were set off that night, it was all captured.

After breakfast the princess requested a trip to the beach, and no one would dare refuse her. They found something private, a little hidden oasis an hour's drive from the villa. They spend hours there, switching between swimming and laying in the sun. She finds herself alone on the sand with Ethan at one point, watching the others like proud parents.

She tries not to think about how close his body feels to her, how she can feel the heat his body is radiating seeping into her, the smell of his body wash. He’s invading all of her senses and she’s trying so hard to focus on anything but him. “Let’s go on a walk?”

His voice is warm as the question escapes his lips. She turns to look at him and she’s thankful to be able to blame the sun for the blush on her cheeks. She nods and gets up to follow him, brushing off the sand that’s clinging to her bathing suit and wrapping a towel around her shoulders.

They disappear down the beach, walking side by side, a comfortable silence enveloping them. It’s not till they’re halfway down the beach that either of them speaks. “Are you enjoying your time?”

She doesn’t miss the hint of worry that laces his voice, and she’s quick to reassure him that she is. “Yes, very much. This is probably the best job I’ve had in years.”

He softly chuckles at her words, “Good. Good. We’re trying to make you feel like one of us, don’t want you running away.”

She’s grateful for the confession, glad that they don’t see her as just another person that works for them. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

He bumps her shoulder with his, a small smile forming on his face, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They head back to the group soon after, realizing they’ve let the day slip away and need to leave soon if they want to make their dinner reservations.

A small vineyard hidden in the valley, they’ve booked the place so it’s just them, and ordered every bottle of wine on the menu to taste. They laugh away the night, enjoying plates of delicious food and letting their minds wander. A gorgeous cake is brought out at the end, half of which ends up destroyed thanks to an impromptu food fight. More presents are opened and Victoria starts tearing up, blubbering about how much she loves the idiots she’s surrounded with.

They walk through the dark streets of Rome, singing happy birthday loudly in every language they know. It’s unusually cold, but she’s somehow been wrapped in Ethan’s jacket, his arm slung over her shoulder. She’s holding Vic’s hand, Damiano and Thomas taking turns with her camera.

The air surrounding them is electrified, she looks up into the sky and thanks the stars for the life she’s living.

May

The summer tour is fast approaching, and nerves are starting to set in. The already high energy group somehow is bouncing off the walls even more, making for an interesting collection of photos. Nerves are starting to get the better of them, and she often finds one of them wandering around the Villa at odd hours of the night. She’s good at being able to channel her nerves into something else, focusing all of the energy on a new project.

One night though, it gets the better of her. She tosses and turns in her bed for hours before she decides that sleep isn’t coming. Instead of lying in bed willing her brain to shut off, she throws on a pair of shoes and heads for the front door, thinking a walk in the warm spring air will do her some good. What she doesn’t expect to find is Ethan sitting out on the terrace, cigarette in one hand and a book in the other, lost in his own world.

She doesn’t mean to catch his attention, hoping to allow him this little bit of uninterrupted peace, but he spots her anyway. “Buona serata,” He rasps, voice laced with the quietness of the night.

“Buona serata, Ethan.” She returns the greeting.

He motions for her to sit down in the chair beside him, closing the book and placing it on the table. “What’s troubling your mind tonight?”

She’s not used to the way someone can read her so well, but there’s something about Ethan that brings her comfort in the fact that he can. “Nerves, I guess. I’ve never done a gig this big, never spent so much time with one group. I’m used to being moved around a lot, still getting used to being a permanent fixture I guess.”

The words are heavy on her tongue, never having voiced her worries out loud before. He takes a long drag of the cigarette hanging from his lips, “La vita ci dà solo ciò che sa che possiamo gestire.”

“Some would think you were a poet in a past life.”

A small laugh escapes his lips, and he shakes his head. A comfortable silence falls over them and she wishes she could bottle this feeling to keep with her forever. He turns to look at her, and it’s hard to put into words the feeling that washes over him. He’s not sure where it comes from, the urge to kiss her, but it sends him spiralling.

He reaches his hand up to brush a few strands of hair out of her face, “Le stelle brillano più luminose nei tuoi occhi, amore.”

The words and his actions cause her heart to raise and her breath to hitch. They’re close now, the closest they’ve been since that night in February, and all she can think about is that kiss that they shared.

Neither knows who leaned in first, but suddenly their lips are touching and it is everything and nothing like they remembered. While the other kiss had been hesitant and brief, this one was full of purpose. Their noses brush and their breaths tangle together, he bits her lip for a moment and a small moan escapes her. He swears it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

He grabs at her hips, lifting her from the chair and placing her so she’s straddling his lap. She tangles her fingers in his hair and tugs softly, earning a groan from the man. The sound sends shockwaves through her and she rocks her hips against his almost involuntarily. His lips move from hers to the side of her neck, pulling small whimpers from her as he nips and sucks at the skin. It’s everything she’s ever imagined and more. The feeling of his body pressed to hers, the pleasure he can so easily give to her.

She moves her hands down to fumble with the hem of his shirt and that’s when he pulls away. “While I would normally love to do that here, how about we continue this somewhere more private?”

She nods eagerly and removes herself from his lap. He all but drags her inside the villa and towards his room. She trips over her own feet and they both laugh at her clumsiness, falling into each other as he tries to catch her but trips over his own feet in turn. He leans in to kiss her again as their bodies collide, this one sweeter and softer than the previous one.

The moment passes quickly and soon she’s being dragged through the halls again, only to be met with a half asleep Damiano standing in the doorway of his room. They stop in their tracks, jumping apart, trying to act like nothing was happening. “It’s rude to have a party and not invite everyone, you know.”

She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, glad that he didn’t know what had been happening moments prior. Ethan is quick to explain that they were just having a cup of tea on the terrace and were now heading to bed, and thankfully the lie is believed. Damiano wishes them a goodnight, heading back into his room, and the two are left in silence in the hallway.

“Maybe we should go to bed,” he whispers to her.

Her heart sinks, but she nods her head in agreement and turns to walk back down the hall to her room. She’s not really sure how the night was going to end, but this was definitely not how she wanted it to; walking in silence next to someone her heart aches for, pretending that nothing had happened between them.

He walks her up to her door, still ever the gentleman, and places a gentle kiss on her cheek. “Buona notte, amore.”

The words should not sound as sad as they do, and she tries her hardest to keep the tears welling up in her eyes at bay as she watches him turn and walk away.

June

How do you go back to being just friends after making out with someone? Well, you don’t. At least, not fully. They dance around each other without knowing it, avoiding any contact that could lead to something more or allude to something else, but there are still moments where the world seems to slip away and it’s just the two of them.

The tour kicks off at a festival in Amsterdam. Blue skies and sunny days greet them as they get off the plane. They have a day to explore before their first show, and no one can decide how to spend it. In the end, Victoria drags Thomas off to do some shopping, Damiano plans a trip to a few museums with his girlfriend, and she is left with Ethan.

She’s not truly stuck with him, but she doesn’t feel like wandering a forgein city all by herself. Since the night in the Villa, they haven’t spent longer than a few minutes alone together, both refusing to acknowledge what had happened.

A trip to the beach seems like the best place to be, and within the hour she’s lounging in the sun listening to Ethan read a book. It’s peaceful, the sound of the waves and his voice lulling her into a half sleep. She’s got a drink in her hands, something sweet and fruity, and she’s sharing a cigarette with Ethan. It’s a scene she thinks one would find in a movie.

She rolls herself over so she’s laying on her back, staring up at Ethan who sits beside her. She places her hand on his leg and traces random shapes into his skin. Goosebumps rise in the wake of her fingertips, and he tries to stay focused on the book in his hands but finds it hard to do so. “You are very distracting, amore.”

She looks up at him innocently and she can’t help but admire him. His hair is tucked away in a bun, but a few pieces have fallen out and are flying in the gentle breeze. He’s only wearing a pair of swim trunks, broad chest on full display. He catches her roaming eyes as they make their way back to his face, a smirk slowly forming on his face. “Or maybe I’m the one distracting you, no?”

She smiles shyly and looks away from him, because yes, he is distracting her, and she’s finding it very hard to not kiss him right now. He chuckles at her, reaching his hand towards her face and turning it back towards him. He leans down towards her, “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

All she can do is nod, and a second later his lips are on hers. It’s sweet and slow, she can taste the tobacco on his lips and it’s intoxicating. She moves so she’s sitting up, leaning into him more, the world around them fading out until all that is left is them.

A few days later they find themselves in a hotel room in Munich. There’s music playing and everyone’s laughing. Her camera hasn’t left her hands all night, every moment needing to be captured as they ride the after show high.

She’s in the middle of recording Thomas’ one man act when a pair of arms wrap themselves around her waist. She knows exactly who it is by the scent that invades her nostrils and sends her brain into overdrive. She lets out a sudden, loud laugh, as his fingers trace themselves up and down her sides, collapsing into his chest as she struggles to breath.

He picks her up and spins her around, letting out an equally loud laugh at her protests. He’s happy, and it’s something that looks better on him than any designer outfit he could ever buy.

He falls onto one of the beds, pulling her down with him. She lands beside him tangled in his arms, he’s looking at her with a goofy grin on his face. The world seems to silence around them as their eyes lock. Her smile softens and she reaches her hand over to brush an eyelash off his cheek, he catches her hand before she can pull it away and brings it to his lips, kissing it gently.

He looks ethereal in this moment, hair strewn all over the place, a wild look in his eyes. She reaches for her camera and brings it up to capture him, never wanting to forget this moment.

The streets of Prague are empty, save for the two of them walking hand in hand down them. It’s early, almost too early to be considered an acceptable time to be awake, but they continue on nonetheless. A wild craving for something sweet had brought upon their adventure, and with the look she was giving him, he couldn’t say no to accompanying her.

They had been sitting on the balcony of her hotel room, watching the sun starting to peak out over the horizon and sharing a cigarette when she had turned to him with a mischievous look in her eyes. “I want something sweet.”

The comment had earned her an offer to order room service, but she shakes her head at the idea, standing up and walking back into the room. “No. Something real, maybe a coffee too.”

He follows her in, watching her pull on a shirt to cover the bralette she had been sitting in. “È presto, amore. Let’s go to bed. We can order something when the sun is awake also.”

She smiles at his words, but makes no move to stop dressing. She grabs her wallet and room key before heading to the door, stopping to turn and look at him, a question in her eyes.

“Fine, I’ll come with you.” He says after a moment, throwing on his jacket and walking over to her.

It’s 7:30 in the morning, the sun is starting to make it’s daily appearance, and they are happy. The small bakery they stumble into is just opening for the day and they’re greeted by the owner, an older lady with the sweetest smile. She speaks in broken English, an obvious language barrier between the group of them, but no one seems to mind.

She orders herself a poppy strudel and a coffee, Ethan ordering a croissant and an espresso, before sitting down at one of the small tables. He sits beside her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into his side. He presses a soft kiss into the crown of her head and she sighs in content.

Moments like this are what she lives for. She might only be here because she works for them, but somewhere along the way she’s become part of their little family. She looks over to Ethan who’s lost in conversation with the owner, and she whispers to herself, “Penso di essermi innamorato di te.”

She doesn’t know that he hears her, his smile spreading wider across his face.

July

The turnover from June to July happens mid concert in Stockholm. She swears she can feel it, the sudden shift, a slight change in the air. She’s running around in front of the stage capturing pictures of the band in what she’s come to call their ‘natural habitat’. There’s an indescribable buzz in the air as they perform, the crowd becoming louder and louder with each song.

She keeps catching Ethans eye and there’s something primal in the way he looks at her. During a song switch, while Damiano rambles to the crowd, he motions her on stage. He tells her to get closer to everyone, promising that they won’t bite, and she giggles at him. She does what he says nonetheless, capturing some up close photos of the band and a few great shots of the crowd.

All too soon the show is ending and everyone’s piling into the car, a small party taking place in the backseat. Damiano has music blasting from his phone, Victoria and Thomas are dancing along to the beat, and Ethan is belting out the lyrics. She watches the group of them, laughing so hard her sides hurt, and she’s never felt more at home.

When they get to the hotel he’s quick to pull her towards his room, thankfully void of a roommate for the night. The second they get into the room, his lips are on hers. He pulls her close to his body and her hands tangle themselves in his hair. It’s nothing like any of their previous kisses, it’s heated and fast, every thought trying to be conveyed by the fever of it. She pulls back slightly to catch her breath and he leans in to whisper in her ear, “Join me in the shower?”

It’s not so much a question as a statement, but she nods her head eagerly, quick to follow him into the bathroom. He strips himself of the few clothes he’s wearing (most having been thrown off during the show), before turning to her. He reaches his arms out towards her, pulling her close to him and tugging on her shirt. She barely registers him pulling off her clothes, too focused on his body in front of her.

She’s never seen him so bare, and she’s having a hard time focussing on anything else. It’s not until her body hits the warm water that she snaps back to reality. He looks wild, eyes blown with lust, a wicked smile on his face. She firmly plants her lips on his, moaning into the kiss as he grabs at her. His hands are skilled and know every way to pull those delicious sounds from her lips.

It’s quick and dirty, and it is everything she has ever imagined it would be.

An hour later, she’s tangled up in the sheets of his bed, his entire being engulfing her as they watch the stars outside the window. She wonders if they are watching them too.

Paris is the city of lights, a statement she’s never been more sure of. The streets are lit with every light, shining brighter than the stars. She’s in a permanent state of bliss, after the night she shared with Ethan. Their relationship is hidden from the public, living in stolen moments and nights in hotel rooms, but she’s never been happier to be someone's dirty secret.

The band is electric on stage, something about the city they’re in taking their performance to a whole new level. The show goes on longer than it should have, but none of them even care when their manager comes over to reprimand them. They hang around to greet fans and take photos with anyone and everyone, and it’s not until security has to kick them out that they finally leave.

They find themselves in a bar, not sure what part of the city they’re in, but no one cares when the night feels like this. They drink expensive drinks that they can’t pronounce the name of, dance to songs they don’t know the words to, and feel more alive than they’ve ever felt. It’s like the world turned itself up to 11 just for them.

She dances with Ethan, not caring who sees because the night is theirs and no one cares. She kisses him in the middle of the dance floor and he pulls her into a vacant bathroom. It’s hot and heavy and the smell of alcohol envelopes them, but they couldn’t care less. Is this love? They don’t care. They’re young and dumb, and well, you only live once.

Back at the hotel they spend the night wrapped in bedsheets on the balcony, a bottle of champagne and a pack of cigarettes shared between the two of them. He points to the stars, a stupid grin on his face, “Le stelle brillano solo per noi.”

She snorts, throwing an abandoned pillow at him. He grabs her arm and pulls her into him, tickling her sides until she’s begging him to stop, tears staining her cheeks but a laugh like no other leaving her lips.

As the night bleeds into morning, and both are hazy with sleep, he whispers to her, “Sei il mio universo.”

They walk down the streets of London, his arm slung over her shoulders as she rambles away, both blissfully unaware of the few fans snapping photos down the street. They don’t notice the group of girls following them, cameras and phones in hand, capturing picture after picture of the couple.

By the time they reach the shop, the photos are already out into the world.

As they order, reposts and comments start flowing, and their phones start lighting up with notifications.

Before they can pay, she’s crying.

Rule number one of being in the public eye; never look at the comments, distance yourself from social media as much as possible, it will never end well.

The final stop in Rome was supposed to be a welcome home. A big celebration was to occur after their last concert, but now, it’s nothing more than finding the quickest way back home. She sits in one of the dressing rooms the entire show, waiting for it to end, scrolling through her social media.

She knows she shouldn’t be, that’ll all it’s doing is hurting her, making her feel worse. But she can’t stop. The comments aimed towards her and the drummer are terrible, and she wishes she could just delete herself from existence. They aren’t even dating, at least not officially, but she’s been deemed the girlfriend from hell. She’s unknowingly stolen something that never belonged to anyone to begin with.

Damianos girlfriend is in the room with her, telling her of her own horror stories dealing with fans, and she knows she’s just trying to help, but she really wishes she would just shut up. She loves the girl to death, she’s been a blessing this entire time, but she feels her mind is too far gone to be saved from the madness.

It’s only a few minutes later that the band wanders in, the usual after show high replaced with a sudden heaviness. Ethan comes to stand by her after putting his things away and pulls her into a tight hug. “Amore mio.”

He’s sweaty and could definitely use a shower, but the hug is comforting. She rubs his back soothingly, knowing this is just as hard on him as it is on her. Their management team has told everyone to remain quiet about it, disappearing from the internet until further notice while they figure out how to manage the situation. It’s maddening, the inability to speak out and protect her. He wishes he could snap his fingers and everything would be fixed, but he knows nothing is ever that easy.

They make their way back to the villa in silence, the car filled with a strangeness. She’s sandwiched between Victoria and Ethan, leaning on the bassist's shoulder, watching her play a game on her phone. It’s not how anyone wanted to end the tour, but the world is a strange and cruel place. Everything good always comes burning down.

August

There’s a party at the villa one night. Things have calmed down enough that she doesn’t spiral every time she looks at her phone, but there’s something in the way Ethan acts around her that makes her uneasy. She’s standing out on the patio, trying to avoid the questioning eyes from everyone in the house. She hasn’t spoken to Ethan all day, and the alcohol coursing through her veins makes her even angrier than she knows she should be.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees him walk out the door beside her, a small scoff leaving her lips as he tries to speak to her.

“Couldn’t be bothered to talk to me all day, what’s changed that you’ve decided to grace me with your presence?”

He looks at her, stunned. “I don’t get what you mean.”

She scoffs again, placing her glass on the table across from her. “Since London you’ve done nothing but ignore me. I get that this wasn’t easy for you, but it wasn’t exactly a cake walk for me. I needed you, Ethan, and you left me.” Her voice is raw and scratchy, the feeling of wanting to cry tickling the back of her throat.

“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how Dami does it, how he can deal with the comments and messages. My brain won’t shut off, I can’t stop thinking about how if I had been more careful, I could’ve protected you and none of this would’ve happened. I feel stupid for thinking I could have. I hate seeing you like this, I wish I could take you away from all of this.” His voice slowly lowers, till it’s nothing more than a whisper, words meant only for her.

“I was never what you wanted, was I? This was just all some stupid game to you. I was just someone you could use to get off.” Her voice is laced with pain, a small crack coming out as she speaks.

He shakes his head, laughing slightly, and turns to look away from her. He walks a few steps before turning to face her again, “No. No, you were exactly what I wanted. You were everything to me. We were the same type of crazy.”

“I don’t understand Ethan, then what was the problem? This feels like a confession and a break up all in one.” She crosses her arms and leans against the wall, watching as he pulls a cigarette out from his pocket and lights it.

The familiar sight creates something warm in her chest, memories of summer nights like this flash through her mind. Spending the evening sitting on the balcony of different hotel rooms, sharing a cigarette between the two of them while they let the events of the day soak in. She’d give anything to go back to one of those moments. He blows a breath of smoke out and starts to speak again, “I don’t know, amore. I don’t. I want to tell you I love you, to hold you and call you mine. But I can’t.”

“Can’t, or won’t.” It’s not a question, but a statement.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t turn this into something it’s not. I want to, believe me, I do.” He steps towards her and reaches out his arms, “But we both know we can’t.”

She doesn’t know where the tears come from, but they’re there, pooling in her eyes. It’s only been a few months since they’ve met, there were no promises to be anything more than a summer adventure, but this doesn’t feel right. Her heart should not be breaking at the thought of losing someone she barely even knows.

He stops when he notices her state, reaching out to wipe the tears falling down her cheeks. “Merda. Merda! This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.”

She looks up at him through clouded eyes, “Then how was this supposed to go, Ethan? Breaking my heart wasn’t supposed to hurt me this bad? I was supposed to smile and tell you that I'm not madly in love with you and these past few months meant nothing to me?”

His heart breaks slowly at her words. He never meant for the night to go this way, and he wishes he could just pull her into his arms and tell her he loved her, that everything could be okay. But he can’t, so he pulls away from her, “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”

They’re the only words he can manage to get out without breaking down. He takes a second to watch her, memorize all the features of her face, before turning around and walking away. It’s a sight that rips her heart out, watching his form disappear back into the house. She knows this is it, the goodbye she’d been preparing for these past few weeks, but it doesn’t hurt any less.

Before she can help herself, she’s calling after him. “Being in love isn’t a weakness, you know!” But the words fall upon deaf ears.

Vic finds her standing in the same spot an hour later. She’s got a smoke lit in her hand, the third one from the pack. She hasn’t touched her lips to any of them, but the smell and the feeling of holding it brings her comfort. She was never really one to smoke, but she found it entrancing to watch Ethan do it, and right now, it’s the only thing keeping her grounded. It’s silly, how something so small can mean so much.

Her heart aches in the most unbearable way, but she can’t bring herself to do anything about it. Vic doesn’t speak, just stands beside her. She doesn’t need to ask to know that she is well aware of the events that have just unfolded, she’s just grateful for the company.

September

It’s stupidly hot in London for the time of year, but mother nature loves her unexpected heat waves. She’s home now, having left Rome shortly after the fight with Ethan, assuring their manager that she would be able to edit and upload all of the photos and videos from the comfort of her own flat.

Vic and Thomas had driven her to the airport, had walked her all the way to security and hugged her tightly before letting her go. She’d promised to keep in touch and Victoria had made her pinky swear that if she was ever in Rome again, she’d come visit. The flight was short, and she was glad the time difference was only an hour.

Her sister had picked her up and dropped her off at her flat, and she’d immediately collapsed into bed. That was three days ago, she’d barely moved since. Someone had caught her at the airport and the photos were everywhere, articles upon articles had been released, she’d had non stop messages from everyone, but all she could bring herself to do was turn her phone off.

Her photos make it to the front of magazines, her articles getting featured all over the globe, she’s made a name for herself. She gets emails from prospective clients wanting to book her in at shows, her boss sending her information for more high end gigs, but all she can think about is her drummer boy.

Her phone still sits turned off on her desk, she refuses to turn it on for anything, resorting to using only her email, but she knows everything that’s going on with the band. She’d been asked to join them again in a few months, to become a permanent part of their team. She hasn’t been able to reply.

She gets panicky thinking about seeing him again, about the things people will say if she’s caught in the same country as him. She’s stopped receiving death threats, but there’s still comments that creep in, fans thanking whatever gods made them seperate.

Victoria tries to reach out every few days, worried about the state of person she’s become, but she can’t even manage to type out an I’m okay. The world seems to be too fast and too slow, too bright and too dark, too much and not enough. Her heart aches and it’s a pain so deep she thinks she’ll never be okay again. Love is a cruel, cruel creature.

October

She finally brings herself to go back to work at the beginning of the month. She books herself in for a small band, someone no one really knows but she hopes they will one day. She’s in Amsterdam now, trying hard not to think of the memories the place brings. The band is good, the music heavy and the beat strong. They find a way to tell a story that leaves everyone with a soul searching question by the end of the night. Do you know who you are?

She’s only with them for a few nights, a short gig, but something she needed to get the ball rolling, to remember why she was doing this in the first place. After submitting the photos and writing an article that sends another wave of offers her way, she takes a few days to explore the city. It was wonderful before, when the air was warm and it felt like there was magic enveloping the city. But now, with the change of seasons, it’s even more beautiful than she remembers.

She walks the empty streets one night, huddled in the safety of her hoodie, camera in hand, and captures moments. A couple standing under a street light, a cafe closing for the night, kids running. It’s not until she hears a laugh she’s all too familiar with that her heart stops and her blood turns cold. She turns, ever so carefully, hidden behind the side of a building, and sees him.

He’s beautiful, even more than she remembers, and he looks happy. He’s walking with two girls, the resemblance making her sure it’s his sisters, but in this light she can’t be sure. She’s never met them, but he talked about them often, and she felt a pang in her chest for the homesickness he must have felt.

She tries to run, tries her hardest to get away, but she’s in an alley that leads nowhere and he’ll for sure be able to see her no matter what. The voices of the three get closer and she starts to panic, but there’s nowhere to go and she knows she’ll have to pull on her big girl pants and face him. But her heart won’t stop beating so loudly and she’s afraid she’ll break if he looks at her.

She pretends to be busy with her camera, focusing all of her attention on settings she knows are perfect, but a voice carries it’s way to her ears. “Hey stranger.”

It’s soft and it makes her knees weak and she hates herself for it. She looks up at him and his expecting eyes and her heart breaks all over again. She can’t help it, but suddenly there are tears running down her face and she can’t breathe. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.”

He places a hand on her shoulder but she pushes it away, “No it’s not.” She says between breaths.

“I shouldn’t be here, I should not be here. I have to go.”

She turns to leave, but one of his sisters stops her, “Let us walk you home, please. My brother may be a dumbass, but we have good genes. Let us make sure you get back safe.”

She doesn’t know why the words calm her, but she nods her head and lets the girls lead her in the direction of her hotel. The twins, Eleanora and Lucrezia, talk to her in fits of italian and english, trying to keep her brain occupied. But her whole body is on high alert, too aware of the man trailing behind them and how much of a fool she must look like. She feels like a mess, like someone drowning in a foot of water, but she can’t help it.

They walk her into the lobby of her hotel, the girls wish her a goodnight before shoving Ethan towards her. She doesn’t want to talk to him, and he must see it in her eyes because he tries to leave. But his sisters won’t let him, they stand tall and he looks like a child being scolded by his parents.

“Can we sit?” He asks, pointing to a couch.

She doesn’t want to, she wants to run up to her room and cry, but she nods. They sit and it is silent. Her stomach is in her throat, her eyes hurt from trying not to cry, but she sits and she waits. She studies his face, the crease in between his eyebrows that only forms when he’s confused or thinking, she wants to reach over and smooth it out. He turns towards her and catches her staring, a small smile forming on his lips.

He takes her in, allowing himself to really look at her for the first time in months, and something in his heart breaks. How did he ever let her go? Why was he so stupid to ruin something so beautiful?

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out before he can stop himself. “I’m so sorry, amore. I know I can’t say it enough, I know it’s not as easy as that, but I’m sorry and I love you. So much it hurts.”

The words hit her like a truck, they knock the air out of her lungs and the tears she was trying so hard to keep at bay start falling down her cheeks. She stands up so fast she gets light headed, “I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.”

She turns and starts walking towards the elevators. He calls after her, but she’s determined to leave, to get away. He runs after her, catching her right before the doors of the elevator close, and he wishes she didn’t look so broken. The doors slip close and she is gone and he feels like he could break something.

Her room is cold and she wishes she was home in her flat. She throws herself into the shower, the water burning her skin, and she sobs. She sobs so hard her body shakes, she screams and hopes no one can hear her.

He’s still standing by the elevator, crying now, too. His body aches in a way he’s never felt before and he hates that he isn’t holding her right now. He knows he messed up, he beats himself up for it everyday, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. He can’t just say sorry and expect everything to be okay, but he has to do something.

November

The ground is covered in snow. It is peaceful and quiet. He’s not used to this, the cold and the snow, but he understands the appeal. He’s standing outside her flat, or at least what he hopes is her flat, Victoria wasn’t exactly sure which one was hers. He’s bought her favourite flowers and he’s prepared to pour his soul out to her.

He paces outside her door for what feels like hours, trying to get himself to knock, but before he can, she opens the door. “Ethan?”

Her voice is soft, his heart sings at the sound of it. He turns to face her and the sight before him takes his breath away. She’s wearing a dress that shows off everything he loved about her, a coat thrown over her arm, she looks like an angel on earth. “Do you have a moment?”

She’s running late for dinner with her sister, but she’s afraid if she says no to him, she’ll never see him again. She hasn’t forgotten that night in Amsterdam, wishes she would have been brave enough to stay and talk, but she can’t change the past. “Yes, yes. Come in.”

She lets him into her flat, taking the flowers he hands her, and brings him over to her couch. “So.”

The script he’d had prepared in his head is suddenly gone from his memories. “I’ve thought this through a thousand times, planned this out a million different ways, but I can’t figure out the right words to say. I’m sorry, amore mio. I can’t say that enough. I never should have left you, shouldn’t have let things happen the way they did. Loving you was easy, and I think that scared me.”

She takes a deep breath, not sure what to say. She feels tears bubbling in the back of her throat and she hates that this is her response to everything revolving around him. He notices the shift in her, can tell she’s about to cry, “Amore mio, please don’t cry. I’ll start and then neither of us will be able to do anything else.”

She laughs quietly at his words, “I don’t think there are any tears left inside of me. I cried them all for you.”

His heart breaks at her confession. He moves closer to her and wraps himself around her. She hates how easy it is for her to melt into his touch, but she enjoys the comfort of it. “Tell me how to fix this. Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you’ll have me. I’m yours amore.”

“Please, don’t leave me again.” The words are barely more than a whisper, but he hears them.

He pulls her tight to his chest and holds her. She doesn’t care about anything else but this moment and him.

She wakes up the next morning in her bed. The sun is streaming in through the windows and she can smell Ethans body wash laced in the fibres of her bed sheets. She rolls over, expecting to see him beside her, but is met with an empty bed. Her heart sinks, afraid that everything he’d said was too good to be true, that he’d left her, again. But the sounds coming from her kitchen prove her wrong.

She gets up, quickly changing out of the dress she was wearing the night before, and follows the sound of clinking dishes. She’s greeted by the sight of a shirtless Ethan, back turned to her, hunched over her stove. There’s the smell of coffee brewing and something soft playing from the radio. If she doesn’t think too hard, she can almost imagine this being a daily occurrence.

He turns around when he hears the floorboards creak, a smile on his face, “Buongiorno amore mio.”

“Buongiorno.”

He hands her a cup of coffee and plates the pancakes he’s made. She smiles at the domesticality of it all. He sits down beside her on the couch and they eat in silence, leaning against one another. Afterwards, she washes the dishes and he dries them. Neither one of them says anything until the sun is high in the sky and they are laying in bed together. “I love you.”

It is the first time she’s said it in such a permanent way, she recites it like it is a fact written in history books. He looks down at her, she’s curled up on his chest, a hazy look on her face. He reaches down to tuck her hair behind her ear and leans his head towards her, “Ti voglio bene.” He seals the statement with a soft kiss.

It’s light and barley there, she chases after his lips as he pulls away, and he chuckles in a way that sends butterflies into her stomach. She places herself on his lap, weaving her fingers into his hair as his tether to her waist. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

He stares at her, memorizing all of the features of her face. He loses himself in thoughts of days spent exactly like this, of a life he hopes isn’t just a dream. He flips them over carefully, laying her down on the bed. He hovers over her, arms on either side of her head, “I’m going to show you how much I love you.”

December

“Move in with me.”

It’s early in the morning and they’re sitting in bed sharing a pot of coffee and a pack of cigarettes. His arm is wrapped around her shoulders, she’s leaned into his side, and he whispers those words.

She hasn’t yet told him about the offer from the band's manager, to become their permanent photographer, but it seems like the perfect moment to. “Yes.”

“Really?”

She laughs at his shock, “I was offered to come and work for the band full time, I haven’t replied yet. But I want to take the job.”

A goofy grin makes its way onto his face, “Do it! Right now. Tell them yes, come and stay with us. Be my girlfriend?”

He’s rambling and he doesn’t care. She smiles at him, her heart bursting with love for the man. “Okay, yes! Absolutely!”

Christmas is celebrated in their apartment in Rome. The band is there, her sister flies out and his family comes too. It is a day filled with love and laughter. They eat a grand lunch that they spent the previous day cooking, his mom brings a homemade panettone. They exchange gifts in the evening, and it is everything she’d dreamed of.

On New Year's Eve they make a trip to the villa. They sing songs and drink expensive wine. Fireworks light up the sky brighter than the stars. They sit out on the porch and tell stories of things that seem so far away. He’s sitting beside her, hands intertwined. He tells her about all of the things he wants to do in the new year and she is mesmerized by the way he talks.

There will be a moment in time when the world stops spinning and everything goes quiet, and she thinks that if that were to happen now, it would be the perfect way to go. Surrounded by the people she now calls family and the person she loves most in the world.

Fireworks go off in the distance, someone shouts out a drunken happy new year! and as time flows from one year to the next, she realizes that this is all that will ever matter.

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hopefullystillatheatrestudent · 3 years

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i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.).

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.)

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy.

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

#cockles #cockles ask #liz answers #i really just. spend hours. writing about misha and his boyfriend.#why. why do i. do that #long post for ts

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levbug · 4 years

Note

FBI OPEN UP, UR UNDER ARREST FOR BEING WONDERFUL AND AMAZING!!💞💞🔫U may not know me and I may not know u, but it's Thursday [Check my pinned post to fully understand🙃😊😔🔫] I'm gonna scare everyone aight– anywaYS, if u r taking request, how about nekoma and shiratorizawa with a foreign manager? If u can do it, have fun writing!!💞💞

hi!! omg thank u for deeming me fit for ur surprise request game!!! im 🥺🥺!! my requests aren’t open but i decided to do this because,,,,im soft for shiratorizawa </3 (i didn’t end up doing nekoma but i hope this is still okay!) thank you for taking the time to request btw!!!

#pairing ー shiratorizawa x gender neutral! reader (platonic)

#warnings ー none uwu

#wc ー 1.1k

▪ oh, you're in for a wild ride with these guys

▪ they will bombard you with questions about your culture and language

▪ and by they, i mostly mean tendou :/

▴ he'd probably just ask you to teach him curse words and stuff tho </3

▴ oh tendou, you silly goose! *80s laugh track intensifies*

▪ it wasn't that the others were disinterested in you, because they totally are! you're their manager and they love you like family! most of them just preferred to question you when you weren't busy :(

▴ of course there are times when their curiosity ends up getting the best of them and they ask you during practice and you answer and oh, look, now they're all sitting cross-legged on the gym floor, eyes gleaming with interest

▴ coach washijo ended up walking in on that and gave you a long, harsh lecture on your duties as a managers as the boys did 40 rounds of their punishment conditioning :((

▪ anyways </3

▪ since you came from a foreign country, your social norms and way of living is (probably) different from that of the boys, in whom none have ever left japan's soil

▴ tbh they were probably confused when they saw you greet someone with like,,,a kiss on the cheek or a good ol' pat on the back despite you not really knowing them.

▴ deadasss goshiki almost combusted when you first greeted him with a hug </3 he was so flustered you swore you had seen blood slowly trickling down his nose :<

▪ as i said earlier, they're all really interested in knowing about your culture! but they're all interested in different areas, i think.

▪ tendou would be interested with pop culture stuff

▴ like all the celebrities (so he can simp for them LMAO) and all the tea ☕ and stuff idk i feel like he's just into the gossip </3 (becos same HAHAH)

▪ shirabu would bug you less, but he'd still love to hear when you'd talk about this one medicine your country had discovered or a medicine that's illegal in japan but available in your country

▴ + shirabu heart points if you bring him some so he can study it and be a big nerd </3

▴ (i don't think it's canon that shirabu likes studying medicines and their compositions and stuff but i like to think he does </3)

▪ i think reon would know the most about you though???

▴ he has no specific area of interest, but he knows the most because of your weekly tea times </3 he's even picked up on a few words in your mother tongue by listening to you speak

▴ also he TOTALLY doesn't find your accent endearing </3 no not reon not ever </3

▴ and he TOTALLY doesn't just *heart squeeze* when you mispronounce something or make a grammar mistake beCAUSE IT'S JUST TOO CUTE OH GOSH HE CAN'T HELP IT YOU MAKE HIM HAVE HAPPY TEARS

▪ anyways :D

▪ semi would be interested in the music (i went for such a basic route wOW)

▴ but fr tho he wants to know more about your countries indigenous people and all the instruments and rituals and just know more about the sound of your country (cos he wants to incorporate it into his own music ☠)

▴ like full-on scribbling notes in his tiny little notepad as he nods along to what you were saying, hanging on to each and every word </3

▴ (did i forget to say i love semi? because i love semi !! semi OWNS me for friques sake pLEASE LET ME MARRY HIM)

▪ our lovely libero, mr. yamagata would probably be interested in the food??

▴ if you bring him one of your countries local foods!!!

▴ even if it's street food he's gonna treat it like it came from like,,,a restaurant as fancy as the one in ratatouille

▴ and if you let him have bites of your lunch? ,,,, you might be unintentionally holding yamagata's heart in your hands </3

▪ NEXT IS KAWANISHI!!!

▴ this is so out of order oh my </3

▪ kawanishi probably wouldn't ask you anything tbh? i feel like he'd listen if you spoke about your home country and what it was like there, but he wouldn't bug you about it.

▴ like yeah he wants to know but he wouldn't pester you??? does that english 😭😭

▴ but sneak a peek out of the corner of your eye and you best bet you can see kawanishi listening just as intently as the others as you told them about this one ethnic celebration you had attended

▪ speaking of kouhais, our sweet baby ace goshiki has yet to take a turn!!

▪ he loves to hear about the rich culture of your country! even if he can't understand some things, he still loves listening to you! the shine in your eyes when you speak about all your friends and shenanigans back home, as well as all the traditions and rituals you had experienced was enough to content goshiki. he loved seeing you happy!

▴ (SIMP!!!!)

▪ finally, our king (and captain), mr. ushiwaka </3

▪ he's kind of like reon in the sense that while he doesn't really ask, he knows the most about you

▴ he would listen more intently than reon imo because mr. waka-kun definitely wants to travel the world someday (and maybe even play professionally for another country!), so he'd love to learn about different cultures <33

▴ watch him even try to learn your mother tongue and actually be kinda good at it </3

▪ OH one thing these guys all share in common tho is being interested in your countries volleyball team during olympics season </3

▴if your home country and japan go against each other,,,,well, let's just say it ends in a lot of bets :)

▪ btw if you ever get homesick, you best bet these boys will go out of their way to find the stuff that reminds you of home (even if it's something super rare </3) and surprise you with it

▴ uhh,,,there's probably some stuff that doesn't even seem like it came from your country (or japan, for that matter) but tendou thought it looked cool so he got it for you ://

▪ it's also pretty fun during everyone's birthdays :))

▴ you cook them some popular dishes that your mother had learned from her mother and wATCH THEM ALL SWOON FOR YOU AND YOUR COOKING!!!!

▪ you own their hearts tbh </3

▪ but that's all good tho :))

▪ cos shiratorizawa's volleyball team owns your heart too :))

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

Text

Andy Dufresne falling in love with you would include~

(Not my gif)(Requested by @awkwardnerdy-teen)

( I had a lot of different ideas racing through my head and this big boy post is the result of that. You can absolutely ask for more hcs on one of these scenarios if you’d like, I just wrote a little bit for each)

- Since Andy goes to Shawshank in 1947; a time when women really weren’t allowed to work in prisons, there’s only so many ways the two of you could have met. I’ll list a few different scenarios before going into the specifics of each one.

- The scenarios~ A) You and Andy meet in place of him and his wife meeting, and he never goes to Shawshank. B) The two of you meet through mail as he serves out his sentence. Or C) you meet after he escapes and get to feel the brunt of his pent up, touch starved yearning.

- If you meet Andy before the events of the film then you’re able to prevent them from happening sheerly through existing.

- The two of you wind up meeting when you go to the bank he works at for some financial counseling. Let’s just say the predicament that you’re in requires a little more care than a one time visit and the signing of some papers so the two of you have a little more time to get to know each other, something that’s crucial in winning over Andy’s heart.

- Andy is a hard man to know; a closed book through and through, so if he’s letting you in then there’s something special about you that he just can’t ignore. …And boy are you special to him.

- Your warm voice, your smile, your perfect temperament. He’d never had such a pleasant client in his life.

- Now, Andy always took pride in his work but when he was with you, he was actually eager to do it. To explain everything, make conversation, go over things a hundred times to make sure they were perfect, etc. You breathed new life into his day, even when others did everything they could to drain him of it.

- And that was what he fell in love with first. Your ability to whisk away everything else that had happened to him during the day with a simple smile and kind gesture.

- That being said, your relationship moves quite slowly. Andy acknowledges that he likes you a lot but he doesn’t fall head over heels in one day. It takes time and it’s an entire process in of itself.

- In the beginning, he just thinks that he likes you as a person. That the two of you have a special sort of connection that people discover only once in their lifetime, a connection that's shared between two friends.

- But then, one day, the two of you are hunched over a sheet of paper, going over this and that and trying to figure out what works best for your situation. He looks over at you as you’re distracted with reading and for a long moment, he just stares at your face.

- He takes in every detail one by one until the full picture is there in all it’s glory, as though you’re some sort of Monet painting that’s made up of little perfect fragments. It’s then that he acknowledges just how pretty you are and just how attracted to you he really is. And thus begins the process.

- Andy; self admittedly, doesn't really know how to show how much he cares. Even though he’s beginning to understand that he loves you and that you own his heart, he’s at a loss for what to do about it.

- So he does the only thing he can think of. He tries to make friends.

- He begins to try to get closer to you; asking you about yourself, answering your questions about him, and starting conversations about things other than your financial stability. Soon enough, it works and the two of you can consider yourselves friends.

- But it becomes increasingly obvious that the two of you are not just friends. You can see it in the way he acts around you and you know enough about yourself to understand that you like him far more than that.

- Feeling your touch throws him for a loop. The accidental brush of your fingers against his own as you pass papers or the hand you lay on his shoulder when he’s engrossed in something; whether it be a document or his own thoughts, is enough to fluster him. He tries to play it off but you take notice of the time it takes him to plaster on a polite smile.

- Andy is already a fairly quiet person but whenever you touch him or smile warmly at him, you’ll notice that he gets even quieter, his words trailing off until you can hardly hear them at all.

- Occasionally, he’ll offer you a somewhat shy compliment. It’s worth that little twinge of nervousness to see the smile that you give him whenever he praises you.

- Speaking of praise: he nearly turns red in the face whenever you tell him how great of a banker he is or any other compliment you can think of. Rest assured, he’s thinking about your words for the rest of the day.

- He’ll absolutely go out of his way to see and make a good impression on you. Like there will be a day where you cant make it to one of your meetings and he’ll offer to meet you somewhere/at your house. He’ll literally meet you on his day off, even if you’ll just be going over documents, because to him, it’s worth the trouble just to see you.

- It’s the 1940s so it’s sort of in character for you to bring him coffee or lunch/invite him over for supper as a thank you for all his help. Let me just say he damn near kisses you every time you do. He gets all tongue tied and shy, telling you that “you really didn’t have to” while he internally thanks god that you did.

- Whenever you invite him to dinner, rest assured he’s bringing you the most expensive flowers he could find and agonizing over what to wear as though it’s a real date. He just tells you that the flowers; or wine, is “the least that he can do” after all the effort you’ve gone through to cook him a meal.

- Every now and again you’ll catch him staring at you with this fond look on his face. He’ll immediately look away with a nervous chuckle when you catch him, apologizing and saying “nothing” when you ask him “what?”.

- He makes his move on the last day you have to see him. A part of him pondered whether or not he should but at the last possible moment, he came to the conclusion that he couldn’t just let you walk out of his life. Even if you’d become good friends, he couldn’t allow the possibility of you just up and forgetting about him before he could confess his feelings to you.

- So as you’re smiling and shaking his hand in gratitude, he moves to encase your hand with both of his own and asks if you’d join him for dinner. And though you’d had dinner together before, both of you know that it’s different this time and it’s different in the best way possible.

Meeting through letter~

- Bored. Your life had become monotonous and you were bored. Bored of the tiring job and the same old city and the same old everything that happened every day. You needed something new to occupy yourself with, something exciting that would transport you into a life that was far more interesting than your own.

- Some women would take up reading, other would knit, but out of sheer coincidence, you’d stumbled across an ad for a prison penpal program in the paper and decided to give it a try.

- So you mailed in a form and received a list of inmates that you could write to, one of which obviously being Andy Dufresne. You circled out a few names and wrote a few near identical letter and once again mailed them into Shawshank.

- In the following week, you received a handful of letters, many of which you put aside or threw away due to their illegibility or their flat out raunchy contents.

- At the end of the week, you had only a few letters that you could choose to respond to and, of course, you chose Andy’s. To be fair, he was the best choice. He was the most well-spoken, well-mannered, and educated one out of all the letters you’d received. Why wouldn’t you choose him?

- Andy had been itching for something to occupy him. His mind was going too fast for the nothingness that happened in prison so when he finally received a letter in the mail, it was like a blessing sent from above.

- It’s no secret that prison changes people ad oftentimes it does so by depriving them of real human interaction, or rather, female interaction. So when a letter obviously written by a woman lands in Andy's hands after god knows how many years in Shawshank; it makes him feel a certain way.

- He eagerly awaits every response he receives and while no one would think that out of the ordinary for someone who has nothing else to do all day, he understands that his heart is far more invested in it then he would care to admit.

- You’re a sort of fantasy for him. Sure, he has your kind words, your scrawling script, the riveting conversation that shows him your personality and the faint smell of your perfume. But he doesn’t truly know you, does he?

- Its why it all seems so silly to him. To fall in love with words on a page seems like such a juvenile, outlandish thing to happen. He’s never even met you and yet he feels like he has; he imagines that he has and that’s part of what keeps him sane. The idea of you.

- But one can only imagine a person for so long. And so, he thinks it over and in the final few sentences of his latest letter, he asks if you can send a photo of yourself along with your response “so that he can put a face to his dear friend”.

- It’s a little while before he receives a response and a part of him dreads that he’s overstepped his boundaries. He fears that he’s lost this important part of his life, that he’s lost you, but just as he’s losing hope, a letter arrives for him; a neatly stuffed envelope that he can immediately recognize as being from you.

- He knows that your photo is inside the envelope and a part of him contemplates not looking at it, wondering if its worth it to destroy the image he’s created for you. So he reads your letter first, relishing in the new set of words that you’ve sent for as long as he can until he can’t anymore.

- Finally, after putting it off for as long as he can, he picks up your photo and flips it over, agonizing over every detail of your face. …You’re perfect. Absolutely breathtaking, enough to make his heart skip a beat just by looking at you.

- He calls you beautiful in his next letter and it’s such a relief that you feel the need to celebrate. You feared that you’d receive no response or that the one you did receive would reveal him to be the complete opposite of what you’d thought him to be; revealing him to be some sort of gross pervert.

- But he was perfectly polite and kind so you wrote back with glee, asking for a photo of him; if it was possible.

- He manages to get one taken of him and he sends it to you, and you’re surprised to find that you’ve been taking to a relatively handsome man. He gets almost bashful when you tell him such, fondly replying that you’re a liar in his next letter.

- The only problem with him now having a photo of you is that there’s so much more intimacy to your correspondence. He now knows your face, your body, your hair. He can almost imagine how your skin would feel against his own and the way you smile upon seeing him.

- And it’s agony. You’re so close and yet so far. He wonders if you feel the same and in some regard, he knows that you do.

- So he confesses, telling you that he’s had a lot of time to think about it and that, though it may sound silly, he’s come to love you over the years. And in your next letter you return the sentiment.

- Rest assured, you’re one of the things in this world that really give him hope.

Meeting after Shawshank~

- Andy crawled through hundreds of yards of shit and escaped to Mexico with a new identity and retrospective on life. He’s different than he once was, as different as can be, but perhaps it’s for the better.

- He did end up opening that hotel on the beach which is where the two of you met. You’d gone to stay there as you looked for a new place to live.

- Andy, while reserved, is a sweet and gentle man that radiates a certain wisdom and free spirited, joyful nature. He’s been born anew and it seems to show on his face. You like him straight away.

- And he likes you, always making conversation and offering to help you with whatever you need.

- The two of you begin a sort of routine. He takes you out on his boat everyday, mainly so that he has the chance to see your face in the sun, the water glinting in your eyes and your hair being blown by the subtle breeze.

- Sitting on the beach with you is quite possibly the closest thing he’s ever felt to being in heaven.

- Andy after his escape is more inclined towards opening up to people and showing his love. He’s realized a lot about himself and after years of solitude, he’s eager to have companionship, someone by his side, the touch of another person.

- He wants to have, hold, love another person. He’s realized that life is worth the heartbreak and vulnerability that loving someone brings. So he tells you about his feelings after a week or so of knowing you, admitting that he’s fallen for you and telling you that he’d really like to kiss you, “if that’s alright with you.”.

#andy dufresne headcanons #andy dufresne imagine #andy dufresne x reader #andy dufresne headcanon #andy dufresne imagines #the shawshank redemption imagine #the shawshank redemption headcanons #the shawshank redemption imagines #the shawshank redemption headcanon #90s movie imagine #90s movie headcanons #90s movie headcanon #90s movie imagines #shawshank redemption imagine #shawshank redemption headcanons #shawshank redemption headcanon #shawshank redemption imagines

155 notes · View notes

bearseokie · 4 years

Text

dear readers and writers

— a little advice i wish i would have heard before i started this blog and writing in general. sorry i’m that writer that makes post like these, i just want you to understand that things like this change everything. if this looks like a lot, just find the ones that pertain to you.

writers

➤ 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝

there are so many good works that come from you focusing on the genres you are most comfortable with, and only writing those is not a bad thing. it’s not a “you’re not growing as a writer” situation, it’s a comfort zone situation. just because smuts do well doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to write them. just because angsts come in bulk because you can never ignore the emotional bits of writing doesn’t mean that has to be the main focus of every work. just because fluffs are the most reblogged content doesn’t mean it’s the only genre people will enjoy from you. focus on what you love, others will follow!

➤ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥

if you don’t consistently open your inbox, do it at least once. close it when you feel overwhelmed or at any time you feel necessary. don’t believe that you have to write them all in a short period of time. be statistical about it: only open it for a short game or blurbs. use the requests to fill in blanks or practice writing in different ways. play with the word counts. change up the tone. delete a few, you’re not obligated to actually write them, this is your free time and your work. but sometimes doing requests can change how you write, maybe even give you a breakthrough you wouldn’t have had with writing things from your own mind. and have fun.

➤ 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

filling the warnings up with silly little comments or parts from the story is important, too. even if it’s a paragraph’s worth of potential warnings or triggers, never skip adding them. even if you think it’s something not worth mentioning, it will be to someone. add as many as necessary.

➤ 𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝟏𝟎,𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞

word counts don’t determine how good of a writer you are. from brilliant blurbs with two paragraphs and one line of dialogue, drabbles with less than a thousand words, or full on double digits fics: what counts is that you enjoyed writing it. it made you excited. you paused just to mention to a friend how much you love writing it. you got chills piecing together that one line. that energy gets put through your work and into your reader, seriously.

➤ 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭?

everyone reads. anything. everything. you name it, one person’s read it. whether your confidence in your writing ability is low or not, the process will only benefit you. and you get to spend time writing about some of your favorite people/characters, it’s a win-win. it’s no competition, only a fun time that you get to create and share with the world. try it.

➤ 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

the more detail, the better the mental picture. if you read something and love visualizing every scene, hearing every line, then you should work for the same within your stories. close your eyes and put your scene into your surroundings, every little detail counts. and although i said word counts don’t mean anything, if your brain does focus on you having large word counts (it happens to every writer, big word counts make you feel cool for writing so much), then this is a sexy step to use because it heightens that number pretty quickly.

short sentences look weird, but are better than run-ons.

vocabulary is sexy and thesaurus dot com is your best friend. need a word but can only think of something similar, you’ll find it there. used the same word three times now and think you’re starting to look insane, you are, use your sources.

you don’t need a banner or aesthetics for everything you write. the writing does all of the work itself. don’t stress about the accessories.

burnt out on writing the same thing / can’t think of what else to put down? break time. take a tangent, write something else, cut it off there (maybe post it) and leave the rest for the future, the cliffhanger or abrupt ending will have everyone on the edge of their seats. you’re still doing well.

if you’re writing to gain a following or have extensive amounts of notes to brag about, you’re into writing fanfics for the wrong reasons. hoping for feedback is one thing, feasting for it as your only source of inspiration for writing is just hurting yourself and other writers in the long run. write for yourself and no one else.

writer’s block? hell if i know, i’ve had it since before i started writing.

readers

➤ 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐛𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤

a little feedback goes a mile. a simple emoji as a reaction, keyboard smashes, even tagging topical things can make a fanfic writer smile.

but long paragraphs also go a long way. imagine watching a movie you love to bits, so much so that you go online and read reviews of it. that commentary can shift the way you look at the movie forever, and stick with you during other films. it’s the same with receiving and reading feedback on fanfics. I’m not saying go crazy critical with your feedback, do not do that unless the writer says they want criticism, but maybe writing why you love one particular line so much could change the way the writer feels about the entire work or make a reader begin to love the same line so much that they quote it or recommend it. it makes a difference!

➤ 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬?

tell the writer. this isn’t an “i wrote this and it mentions all of these other things, so you should have expected this” game. if it bothered you, it will probably bother someone else, and that needs to be told to the writer. i don’t know what to tell you if a writer writes back being degrading or negative about your concern for that warning, but i promise you that most writers will not argue with whether it should be a warning or not and will just add it. do not be scared to mention something that triggered you if it was not mentioned in the warnings. also, please remember writers are humans and cannot think of everything all the time. we might miss one or two warnings within the work when writing the description, so please tell us.

➤ “𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠.”

pain. straight pain. your reblog shares that post with your followers. you like it, why wouldn’t they? that reblog stays on your page, it’ll be seen. the tags you put in could help others find more works on your blog, essentially helping more works be found. maybe they’re old and haven’t seen the light of the recent tags in months, but your reblog could help more people still see it, and that makes a difference. we all have those lazy moments where we don’t want to do all of the steps, but even doing them sometimes helps.

➤ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞?

readers can scroll through the list for their preferences, find new writers that amaze them, maybe they gain the courage to put together their own fic recs list. all of those recommended fics are still floating around and being shared, they don’t get lost in the tags or the writer’s masterlists. you find/make a recs list: congratulations, you’re contributing to helping fanfics thrive (as they deserve). also, who doesn’t love an entire list right in front of them so they don’t have to go on a scavenger hunt to find new things to read? answer: no one.

➤ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐞?

tags to organize, fics to go through/find/read, oh my. let me let you in on a little secret:

have you ever had that moment where you suddenly remember one line or scene from a fic you read months ago, and you have the vaguest details to go off of in order to search and find it? your fics recs blog would have you covered, just scroll through the feed or the tags and boom, it’s at your fingertips.

now imagine someone else looking for more fics to read stumbling upon your blog. might look a little strange and coded to them, but eventually they navigate and find a new fic they’ll be talking about for months. they reblog it, add their own feedback, their followers see it and join in, and that writer feels immensely appreciated all because you started a recs blog and just-so-happened to reblog their fic. tah dah.

➤ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐩?

well, so did i. i asked my followers on this blog and my recs blog to send in their favorite fics with some extra details and feedback thinking i wouldn’t get anything, but i got an entire list! guess what’s even better? that list went straight into the tags (thanks to tumblr working properly for once) and now anyone that searches up ‘kpop fic recs’ can find it at any time. same goes for your own. there’s no specific way of organizing a recs list, just make sure the links work and the writers are credited! it helps.

read more! it’s a vast world in your hands, enjoy the words that go along with it.

sorry for this technical rant/advice post, this has just been in me for a while and i wanted to talk about it. I might add more to this as things come up, but for now i hope this helps! <3

#bearseokie.txt #this is a lot but hey it's a silly dawn rant again #i hope this gets through to anyone having a hard time writing right now #and to the ghost readers bc we still know you're there bro #take care of yourself !#bearseokie navigation #writing.tips!

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snidgetwidgeon · 4 years

Text

Insurrection Recollections Series: Clandestine Research

After Zelda's father orders her to give up her research, Zelda and Purah hatch a plan. The only way it will succeed is if Link intervenes.

~~~

The day after her father told her she could no longer waste her time by playing the scholar, Zelda was issued an official written directive via castle courier as if she were one of his subordinates. She was livid. It instructed her to relinquish all of her ancient technology artefacts and materials to the Tech Lab by the end of the week. Oh how considerate of him to give me some time to sort out my busy schedule! She tore the missive to pieces and threw it in the fireplace.

Fine. She would do it post haste to the detriment of everything else she had going on. Studies with her economy instructor? Nope, she had a directive. Receiving the latest visiting dignitary in court that evening? Nope, she had a directive from the King. A fruitless visit to the Spring of Power to perform devotions that brought her nothing but scorn from her own people? Thank Nayru she had a Goddess damned directive from her father that allowed her to avoid the very thing she no longer wanted to do anyway!

Link looked on as Princess Zelda stomped back and forth between her room and study, forgetting things in her state and then becoming even more upset. He had offered his help but she refused so he stood watch on the bridge. The best he could do was stay out of her way and be available at a moment’s notice.

When she finally got to her journal, having left it for last, she closed the door to her study to have a moment of privacy. As she re-read some of the pages detailing her adventures into archaeology, she thought about how they were merely notes and should not be subject to the purge. She decided to keep it.

Emerging from her study with a resolve that Link could see was strained at best, Zelda nodded to him that she was ready to leave. He hailed an available attendant and they assisted in carrying items down to the stables. Even with Zelda insisting on carrying some things herself, the attendant would need to make one more trip and grab another person along the way.

While the rest was being collected, Zelda and Link saddled up the horses in silence. To anyone else, this would seem no different from the early days of their time together when she resented him and their silence was cold and strained. Now it was a companionable silence. He caught her looking at him over her horse’s back as she was tightening her straps. He smiled.

She felt a flush and a sudden need to make an excuse. “You always have such a way with horses...” She then ducked behind hers and pretended to do something else.

Between their mounts and a third mare carrying normal travel supplies, they were able to take everything. Zelda also wore a satchel on her back with a few of the more delicate items. As they made their way through the grounds, Link steered his horse around slightly, indicating down the path that led to the docks and asked, “Shall we take the ferry?”

“No, thank you.” She looked straight ahead with her nose stuck figuratively up toward her father as she passed him. “I would like to make this trip last as long as possible if you don’t mind.”

~~~

They arrived in the evening, just in time for dinner. Zelda and Link had agreed on the way there that she could have a night of normalcy. While she went in, he attended the horses and unloaded everything, stacking it in a tidy pile just inside the workshop to be dealt with in the morning. He then joined the others, received a heaping serve of beef curry and proceeded to keep mostly to himself as he was wont to do in large social gatherings.

He watched Zelda closely, but not obviously, and noticed how very bittersweet it all was for her. She would no doubt be wishing it could be like any other visit. She laughed and carried on with the others, sharing how well the trials at the castle had gone the previous day. But he could see it. Any small moment where she wasn’t engaged with someone, her face fell and the light was gone from her eyes. When Purah noticed and asked if she was alright, she easily brushed it off by saying she was just tired from her busy schedule and a full day of travel.

The following morning, Link was in tow when Zelda entered Purah’s messy workspace with the Sheikah Slate. They had already seen to the items in the workshop, making sure they were distributed to the proper places around the Lab.

“Good morning, good morning! You’re just in time- oh, I’m so glad you brought the Slate. I meant to send word that you should come by the Lab soon so I could use it, but you must have read my mind because here you are; and I completely forgot to send the word.” She put her arm around Zelda’s shoulders and guided her to the large stone in the middle of the room, “Come, I want you to look at this and tell me what you think.”

Zelda let herself be dragged over but instead of looking at the stone, she sort of glazed over in an effort to shield herself from more pain. “Purah, I must apologize.”

“What for? Give it a second, I didn’t expect you to figure it out right away, silly.”

“No, I mean- I should have told you first thing last night.” She handed the Sheikah Slate to Purah who took it with brows furrowed in concern but also remained quiet to listen to her friend.

“Father has ordered me to focus all of my attention on my training. I’m- I can no longer assist the research team. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just... kind of wanted to pretend it didn’t happen for as long as I could.”

“Oh, Zelly, no. It’s ok.” Purah gave her a quick but sincere hug before going off. “Din’s balls, this is the pits! I’ll be lodging a formal complaint- you watch me- he can’t take away one of my best researchers.” She waved the Slate around dramatically. “Now I’m going to have to find a new translator; who does he think he is!?”

Zelda started giggling. As always, Purah’s infectious energy and earnestness made her feel a bit less crap when she was down. “The King,” Zelda’s giggling evolved into open laughter. ”He’s the King, Purah.”

Purah just pushed up her glasses and said matter-of-factly, “Well... King or no King, he’s acting like a fool.”

Link smiled from his post across the room thinking about how he couldn’t agree more. The day before yesterday on the bridge he had questioned if his oath to protect the Princess extended to defending her from the King himself.

“Were you leaving today?” Purah asked, but didn’t let Zelda answer and kept talking, “You’re not leaving today. I need your help with something and you aren’t officially done until you leave, you hear? Come with me.” She strode out of her office on a mission.

Zelda smiled after her and then looked at Link with a raised brow asking- not for his approval, but more his opinion. He merely shrugged and gestured that she should follow the woman.

Over the course of the day Link observed their antics and found moments to opportunistically disappear when it looked like they were going to need a person for some sort of trial. That night, some celebrations ramped up as Purah decided to throw a gratitude party to thank Zelda for all that she had contributed. Link thought that idea was pretty smart, making it look like Zelda’s choice to take on other important tasks. This way, she could leave with her head held high, at least until she was out of sight.

About mid morning the following day, Link got the horses ready for the return home and then realized he may have been a bit preemptive when he went to collect Zelda. She and Purah looked at him like startled foxes when he entered Purah’s office and they proceeded to finish their conversation in hushed voices.

Perhaps Zelda wanted to stay on longer? Then Purah spoke normally again and handed Zelda a book. “So, if you could just take that one back to my room, that would be great.”

Zelda nodded and said nonchalantly, “No problem.”

As she walked out, Link started to follow, but Purah exclaimed, “Oh, Link! Could you help me carry these?” She grinned, “Please?”

“Um, sure. What is it?” he asked when he didn’t see anything specific that she was asking about.

“Just a sec!” Her eyes darted around and she grabbed a box that already had a few guardian pieces in it which she proceeded to unceremoniously dump in the middle of the floor. She then flitted around the room grabbing random items to throw in the box that she needed ‘help’ carrying.

He wandered over to the second story window to check on the horses outside while he waited to see how- whatever it was that she was up to- played out. He didn’t have to wait long at all as he noticed Zelda, distinctly not in Purah’s room, and still holding onto that book. He immediately knew what it was. Ancient contraband.

She approached her white horse and gave it a scratch as she went to place the book in her saddlebags. As she lifted the flap she hesitated for a moment. He smirked as she went over to his horse instead and buried the book into his saddle bag. Clever, but not clever enough. If she was worried that her father might go as far as to search her things when she returned, then he was not going to take the chance that they wouldn’t do the same to him. He’d have to hide it better later.

“Right! So... this stuff here. Could you please take it downstairs?” Purah requested with another cheesy grin.

He balked a little at everything sticking out of it. She couldn’t at least have made her distraction easy? He gave a little sigh, “No problem.”

~~~

That night as Zelda slept by the campfire, Link snuck over to the horses and quietly dug through his saddle bag for the book. She tucked it right at the bottom under the other book he generally kept with him in case he ever had time to kill. He looked back over to her sleeping form and surreptitiously stuck it behind his back just inside the waistband of his trousers, then tightened his belt over it a bit. Sleep would be a bit less comfortable and he’d have to wear his cloak over it even if he got warm tomorrow, but that should do the trick.

When they arrived back home, Link clocked that their approach was noticed with a bit more interest than usual. Zelda may not have been wrong in her suspicions regarding her father; the King was becoming more stressed and paranoid by the day.

They were met at the West gatehouse by a young castle guard who looked nervous. “Many pardons Princess Zelda, but we have instructions to check your cargo.”

She kept her calm and said coldly, “Do as you will.”

Another guard approached to help and she felt her ire rise as they rummaged through her things right next to her. She didn’t bother hiding her withering stare. She wasn’t going to make it easy for them.

Once they were satisfied, the guard bowed. “My apologies, Princess.”

“Indeed.” She then clicked for her horse to continue and went no more than two steps before she heard the guard behind her ask for Link to please remain still for a search as well. Her stomach sank and she twisted around in her saddle before pulling her mount up sideways. Outwardly, she appeared to just be waiting for her Knight Attendant. Link appeared entirely unfazed, and why wouldn’t he? He didn’t know that she’d foolishly set him up to be punished.

Her eyes darted back and forth between the guards, then stared sharply at the one that took out a book. He turned it over and opened it to a random page in the middle before nodding to Link and placing it back in his bag. “Our apologies, Sir Link. Please enjoy the rest of your day.” They crossed an arm across their chest and nodded.

Link came to join her as she continued a few more steps before she stopped awkwardly. Her mind was racing. Did it get lost!? She gave a harried look at Link who returned it with a head tilt of curiosity. Did he find it and throw it out!? She couldn’t act on any of her agonizing questions!

“On second thought,” she called after the guards, “You may take the horses to the stables. Please have my things delivered and report to my father that I will be resting from today’s journey and will not be disturbed.” She dismounted, continuing out of the gatehouse on foot. Link followed suit.

As she went up the steps leading to the courtyard below her quarters, she was afraid to say anything with patrolling guards so near. She finally stomped up the stairs to her room in a frenzied state. That book was important! How was she going to find out about what happened to it without being seriously reprimanded from going against her father’s will?

She practically forgot Link was behind her and before she entered her room, he said in a hushed tone, “The next time you need me to hide something for you,” he pulled the book out from under his tunic behind his back, “it might be better that I’m actually involved.”

She looked down at it and her eyes widened before snapping back up to his smug face. It quickly turned into one of shock as she grabbed him by the front of his tunic and pulled him in. After riding the highest levels of stress, fear of discovery, and relief all in the span of a few minutes, she latched onto him in a tight hug without a second thought. “Thank Hylia, you have it! First I thought I was fine, then I thought I’d- and you would be punished for sure as well, and then I thought it was lost somehow-” she had pulled away at this point, “but how could it be? I hid it at the very bottom.”

Link watched her nervous rambling with a rather judgmental, yet amused expression.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

He held his hands up, book still in one, as if to accept defeat to a potential argument that hadn’t even started.

“I didn’t think that they would bother to search you.” She stopped herself as she noticed her old habit of deflecting fault was rearing its ugly head. She had vowed to be better since he saved her life in the desert and right now, that meant an apology was probably due.

She sighed, “I’m sorry, Link. I should have trusted you. I guess I just thought that you wouldn’t approve or... may have stopped me.”

“Have you met you?” he asked rhetorically as he handed the book over.

She copped his joke and pressed her lips together hard so she wouldn’t laugh on principle, but her belly bounced a little in a silent chortle anyway. Once she regained her composure her brows knitted and she enquired, “But why didn’t you just tell me you knew before we got back? You could have-” her mouth gaped as she gasped in realization. “You were getting back at me for not telling you!?”

“I did think I was owed a tiny bit of payback for being an unknowing accomplice in smuggling your ancient contraband.”

“Well... I...” She became flustered in her defeat.

He hadn’t meant to actually make her feel bad so he smiled. “It’s ok. I’m on your side so just tell me next time you need help.”

He probably thought that was just a nice thing to say but his genuine declaration of support struck right to the base of her core. The oaths that they had taken at the beginning of this colossal mess had meant nothing to her back then, but through the eventual development of their friendship, she discovered that those ties now carried weight; and though she still felt useless for the coming trial, she respected their bond more than ever. And he did too. Urbosa and Impa were the only other people whom she felt truly knew her. Now she had another, and she felt blessed that he was always by her side.

Blinking away her hard stare at his words, she came back to herself and said, “Alright then. Since you’re now in on this, you can be my mule.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m Purah’s best translator so I’ll need you to feed any potential discoveries to Impa. If she’s away you can take them to Robbie. He’ll still be here for a while yet working on the Guardians.”

She continued nattering on, the way she did when she seemed to speak more to herself than to another person, while she sat down with the book at her desk and started to flip through the pages. “I’ll be starting right away. I’ve actually been dying to dive in. Did you want to stay until I get something ready or do you have things you need to do?”

When she looked back at him he had an unspoken expectation on his face which she proceeded to misread. “It’s quite alright if you have things to take care of, I’m sure I’ll be a while yet before I have- oh! You mean,” she smiled sheepishly and then cleared her throat. “Sorry. Sir Link, do you consent?”

The way she asked had him closing his eyes and shaking his head in amusement.

“No?”

“No- I mean, yes, Princess, you have my consent.” He bowed eloquently. “I’ll return later when you might have something for me.”

“Thank you.”

He opened the door to leave and she added, “And thank you for...”

He stopped and looked back.

“For being on my side,” she finished.

He nodded and went.

She sat for a few moments looking at where he’d just been, a tingle running through all of her limbs in a wave, causing goosebumps.

~~~

There had been a few things of interest that she sent to Purah via Link’s underground network. Thankfully, she had kept many detailed notes about how to translate ancient Sheikah text. She always was a good note taker. Her very own research journal was an invaluable resource that she had justifiably not been made to give up. Her father must have either thought she couldn’t do much with it or didn’t want to go to such an extent to violate her personal belongings after he took the only thing that was bringing her any joy.

She was out at her study tower again, working on it at a time she was not likely to be disturbed- but even if she were, Link was on duty outside. She came across a passage on underground structures and thought she was finally on track to learning where the pillars were. If only they could be located, the research team would supposedly be able to harness many more Guardians, not just the ones that had been dug up. These ones were properly stored and ready for when the Calamity struck.

With her potential conclusion on the material of the passage being under such a bias, she kept getting stuck. The page wasn’t making sense as it stated the pillars were all over Hyrule; but she knew them to be under the castle.

She read on about something pertaining to activation of the network, or that everything was connected, or... something. Her eyes were getting tired and she felt a brain melt coming on. If only she had more points of reference. She pined after the Slate. In its absence, all she had left was the library and she couldn’t risk going there without being watched. She started to lean back in her chair and zone out at her wall in abject defeat when she noticed a doodle. It was a less detailed, but accurate copy of the tapestry in Impa’s office.

Just as she began to think she wouldn’t glean anything from a picture she’d looked at a thousand times, she noticed the pillars framing the castle. There were also a few of the same at the bottom, and one in each quadrant... all around Hyrule. But the others wouldn’t be the pillars. They look like towers.

She sat up straight and began to re-read the translation. If she thought of them as towers, and there was some sort of connection between them- but where were they? She’d practically been all over the kingdom and had never seen such a structure. Perhaps buried, like the pillars!

With newly invigorated passion, she stood and stretched, then crossed the small circular room to the door. Opening it part way, she saw Link standing at ease and then turning to regard her.

“Sir Link? I believe I am in dire need of a hot chocolate in order to continue performing at the best of my abilities. Could you please send for one?”

He smiled knowingly and dipped his head in kind before leaving to find an attendant or a less strictly positioned guard to pass on the request.

“Oh, and please get one for yourself! If you want to,” she added.

He waved behind him to acknowledge he’d heard.

She closed the door and looked over at the materials on her desk and the drawing of the tapestry. She felt there was something potentially big here. If so, she wanted so badly to find a way to tell Impa or Purah herself. She thought of the devotions she had looming in a few hours time. They were now most of her days and she felt more like a helpless failure than ever before. She couldn’t bear the thought of never being able to share in discoveries again. She would wait until she could see them somehow. At least then she would have some joy.

#breath of the wild #fanfiction #writing #*trumpet noise* this is my first fic post #been derping away on my stories for over a year and finally have something to show #runs around like a cucco in excitement #clandestine research #Insurrection Recollections Series #snidgetwidgeon scribbles

47 notes · View notes

ohnomybreadsticks · 4 years

Text

Writing Masterlist - Pinned

Decided to finally give in to my urge to do further organization and finally make a masterlist. All of my writing is available on AO3 or under the tag bready’s fic, but under the cut I have links to everything organized by fandom (dbh/witcher/other) and series, as well as brief summaries.

Pairings are not ordered by top/bottom, they’re just in whatever order my brain decides when I type lol

Please read the tags on each fic on AO3 for warnings. I write a lot of AUs, some kinkfic, and a variety of content with ratings from G to E

All fics are finished unless specifically marked

Requests are closed except for special occasions - you can check my blog header to see if I’ve opened them!

---

Witcher Pairings: Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer, Eskel/Lambert, Eskel/Lambert/Cahir, Eskel/Lambert/Cahir/Aiden, Lambert/Aiden, Calanthe/Eist, Triss/Yennefer, Geralt/Everyone, Fringilla/Renfri, Cahir & Fringilla, Jaskier/&Renfri, Aiden & Renfri

DBH Pairings: Reed900, Hankcon, Polycho, Polycho/Chloe, Kam60, Allen60, SiMarkus, Hank/Gavin/Connor/Nines, Kamski/Allen/60, Chloe/North, Ralph/Jerrie(s), Hank & Connor, RK1700, Hank/Kamski, Reed1700, Assorted Rarepairs

Long post ahead - enjoy! :D

The Witcher: Oneshots

Geralt Has Two Hands - T, 3K, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer - Modern AU from Jaskier and Yennefer’s perspectives as they both try to woo a certain stoic idiot.

Witchers Don’t Get Sick - T, 1K, Geralt/Jaskier - Sickfic where Geralt really shouldn’t be allowed to function on his own

More Than Just a Blogger - T, 1K, Geralt/Jaskier - Modern AU in which Geralt realizes just how much Jaskier’s putting on the line by travelling with him

Too Tired to Ask, but Not to Receive - E, 3K, Geralt/Jaskier - What kind of Witcher fic writer would I be if I didn’t write a ‘Jaskier pampers Geralt in a nondescript inn’?

Call in the Cavalry - T, 1K, Eskel/Lambert, Eskel/Lambert/Cahir - Modern AU where two idiots might need a little bit of help escaping an IKEA

Is Kindness a Weakness? - G, 1K, Calanthe/Eist - Modern AU where Calanthe and Eist are both high-powered business owners

Witchers are Bad at Math - G, 1K, Eskel/Lambert - Lambert is a bit of an idiot, but his heart is in the right place

The Benefits of a Broken Ankle - T, 1K, Aiden/Lambert - Modern AU texting fic in which Lambert has a broken ankle and Aiden is comforting in a strange way

Sharing is Caring - E, 4K, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer - Modern AU where Jaskier and Yennefer begrudgingly join forces to show Geralt the time of his life

It’s the Little Things that Count - G, 1K, Cahir/Eskel/Lambert/Aiden - Modern AU that explores how people who care a lot about each other resolve the very silly fights that inevitably spring from living together

Sharing the Load - T, 1K, Eskel/Lambert - Non-smutty dom/sub where Lambert takes care of Eskel

You Just Haven’t Earned It Yet - T, 1K, Calanthe/Eist - Modern AU veterinarian Eist falls head-over-heels for fire chief Calanthe

Destiny is Bullshit (Or is It?) - T, 1K, Lambert/Aiden - Finally got to write a modern AU tattoo parlor/flower shop fic!

What’s a Queen to Do? - T, 1K, Calanthe/Eist - Calanthe is thirsty as hell for her husband

Eskel’s Guide to Refereeing - E, 2K, Geralt/Jaskier/Eskel, Aiden/Lambert/Eskel - Eskel does what he has to do to decide a bet between two very horny couples

The Smell of Coffee and the Sound of a Meow - G, 2K, Lambert/Eskel, Lambert/Eskel/Cahir/Aiden - Lambert and Eskel run a coffee shop and fall in love with two ornery regulars

Shattered Like Glass - M, 1K, Cahir/Lambert/Eskel/Aiden - Cahir whump featuring a car crash

The Main Attraction - E, 4K, Geralt/Everyone + Geralt/Jaskier, Triss/Yennefer, Cahir/Lambert/Eskel/Aiden - The gang has a gangbang where everyone has fun with Geralt!

Don’t Shut Up - T, 1K, Geralt/Jaskier - Military AU where Jaskier is a sniper and Geralt is a demolitions expert

Pieces of Silly, Useless Joy - G, 1K, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer (offscreen Yennefer), Lambert/Aiden - Jaskier teaches Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert about the joys of stuffed animals

Hungry for More of You - M, 1K, Calanthe/Eist - Calanthe experiments with feeding Eist throughout the day

The Luckiest Woman on the Continent - E, 1K, Triss/Yennefer - Magic tentacle pwp!

A Simple Token - T, 2K, Eskel/Lambert, Cahir/Aiden, eventual Eskel/Lambert/Aiden/Cahir - Cahir takes his best friend who he is also in love with to a Ren Faire to meet his occasional booty calls

Roses Are Just Too Cliche - T, 1K, Fringilla/Renfri, Lambert/Aiden - Aiden is supposed to meet up with a blind date, but identifying each other with a rose might have been a bad idea.

Learning to Trust is Hard (pun intended) - E, 1K, Lambert/Aiden/Eskel - Lambert proposes a little bit of consensual somnophilia

A Fluffy Mystery - G, ~800, Cahir/Eskel/Lambert/Aiden - Lambert and Eskel get sent on mysterious shopping missions by Cahir

A Viper’s Tale - E, 2K, Cahir/Eskel/Lambert/Aiden, Letho & Cahir - Witcher!Cahir AU get-together featuring animal-trait witcher mutagens

Along the Road to Blaviken - T, 2K, gen/pre-slash Jaskier + Renfri - Witcher!Jaskier AU where he and Renfri meet in the woods outside Blaviken

The Witcher: Series

Getting By Together - a Geraskier modern AU featuring self-conscious Jaskier and supportive Yennefer

More Than Enough - E, 5K, Geralt/Jaskier - Jaskier has a hard time believing he deserves Geralt some days, but Geralt has other plans

He’s Not Going Anywhere - G, 1K, Geralt/Jaskier - Jaskier and Yennefer’s first meeting marks the start of a much-needed friendship

Everything’s Going Swimmingly - a modern mermaid AU for my favorite rarepair ship of Lambert/Eskel/Cahir (+ possibly more)

Something Special - T, 1K, Lambert/Eskel + Cahir - Cahir moves to a small fishing town and makes a few very wild discoveries

Love at First Splash - G, 1K, Lambert/Eskel - Lambert falls in love at first sight with a very handsome merman

Full of Love (and Other Things) - E, 3K, Lambert/Eskel/Cahir - it’s just ovi porn!!

Who’s to Blame? - T, 1K, Lambert/Eskel/Cahir - An unfortunate accident has Cahir second-guessing his place in the relationship

Just a Call Away - G, 1K, Lambert/Eskel/Cahir, Geralt/Jaskier - Lambert calls in a favor from his brother, who calls in a favor from his sort of ex, who calls in a favor from...

Testing the Limits of a Charmed Life - E, 3K, Lambert/Eskel/Cahir - more ovi porn, but this time heavy on the belly kink!

How to Woo a Bandit Bird - G, 1K, Fringilla/Renfri - Fringilla is just trying to enjoy life in a small town without getting harassed by birds

Please Don’t Take My Man - E, 3K, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer - These three finally fall into bed together, and Jaskier gets pegged!

Cats are Notoriously Lazy Creatures - T, 3K, Eskel/Lambert/Cahir, Fringill/Renfri, Renfri & Aiden - Aiden gets tricked into helping with the task of getting Eskel some magical legs

Grad School Blues - a modern grad school AU focused on Cahir & Fringilla’s friendship

The Only People Who Really Matter - G, 1K, Fringilla & Cahir - Fringilla and Cahir attempt to set up a movie night for the department

The Infinite Problems of Wrangling Faculty Members - G, 2K, Fringilla & Cahir - Our intrepid duo have to wrangle faculty into sitting down for interviews

Detroit: Become Human: Oneshots

The Bottom Alliance - E, 6K, Hank/Connor/Gavin/Nines - Connor and Gavin team up to give their boyfriends a night to remember

Hand in Hand - G, 1K, Markus/North/Simon/Josh/Chloe - A soft and fluffy Valentines fic

On Your Mark, Get Set, Baaaake! - G, 4K, Gavin/Nines - This is just me projecting my love of GBBO onto these two

Wednesday Evenings - T, 1K, Gavin/Nines platonic or romantic - Gavin realizes he may be spending time with people whose values he no longer shares

Someone’s Gotta Have Standards - T, 1K, Gavin/Nines - Gavin’s cat weighs in on his new boyfriend

Of Bees and Flowers - T, 1K, Ralph/Jerry(s) - Ralph makes some new friends and lives the quiet life he deserves

Love Me Like One of Your French Artists - G, 1K, Markus/Simon - Human AU where Markus hates attending his gallery openings

To Be Here With You - T, 1K, Kamski/Connor60 - just a fluffy day for two people who really need it

To Love and be Loved in Return - G, 1K, Chloe/North + Markus/Simon/Josh/North/Chloe - The girls get snowed in on their way to a family vacation and get to spend some quality time together

August AU Challenge Ficlets - T, 24K, Various Pairings - 33 ficlets, each a different AU and a different pairings. Lots of rarepairs! Index in Chapter 1

Do Dogs Resemble Their Owners? - T, 3K, Hank/Connor, Gavin/Nines, Allen/Connor60 - Three small ficlets in a dog-walker human AU

Making It Festive - E, 4K, Hank/Connor - A little bit of halloween smut with a dash of happy family hankcon

Autumn Winds, Auburn Love - G, 1K, North/Chloe - Human AU where Chloe and North get the cozy life together that they deserve

Learning How to Take Your Time - T, 2K, Gavin/Nines - Human AU where Gavin is forced to take a vacation

Best Laid Plans are Oft in Vain - T, 2K, Kamski/Connor60 - Clyde tries to organize the perfect Valentines Day, but it doesn’t quite work out

What He Deserves - E, 1K, Kamski/Allen/Connor60 - Sixty pushes a bit too far with his bratty behavior and has to deal with the consequences

Shovel Talk - T, 1K, Gavin/Nines - Elijah gets to play the protective older brother role for once

A Question of Size - G, 1K, Gavin/Nines - Tina is a good friend and Nines is a good boyfriend, what more could Gavin ask for?

Markus Manfred Makes Good and Makes Out - E, 12K, Markus/Simon/Josh/North/Chloe, PERMANENTLY UNFINISHED - Human AU where Markus keeps getting lost in the Frankfurt airport

Am I Human or Merely Alive? - G, 2K, Hank & Connor platonic - Connor grapples with the reality of his life post-revolution

Seals are Boyfriend Shaped, Actually - T, 6K, Gavin/Nines - Gavin is a selkie with a really bad attitude

Cyberlife’s Butcher - G, 1K, Gavin/RK900 - Crossover with the Witcher where a very persistent bard convinces a killing machine to let him tag along on adventures

Bitter Lemon - T, 1K, past Gavin/Nines - Gavin struggles after a breakup

The Merits of a Real Thing - T, 6K, Gavin/Nines - Sci-fi AU where Gavin is a bounty hunter who starts to care a bit too much for his latest target

Our Own Little Corner of the World - G, 1K, Gavin/Nines - Just the softest, fluffiest possible snow day you can imagine

Coffee Snobbery and Other Ways to Meet Cute Boys - G, 1K, Kamski/Connor60 - Two hipsters meet in a Starbucks

Hope for an Unromantic Man - G, 1K, Allen60 - canonverse exploration of two rather unromantic people who come together and find something sweet

A Remedy for Too Many Dreams - T, 2K, RK1700 - modern AU where Connor’s new neighbor might not be exactly what he seems...

Wanna Eat You Up - E, 1K, Allen60 - double android AU pwp! Allen has a biting kink and Sixty ties him up

Deep as Wine Red Water - T, 1K, Hank/Kamski - Two tired men find each other after the revolution

Everything’s Gonna Be Fine - T, 1K, Reed1700 - Gavin volunteers to be bait on a dangerous mission, and his partners worry about him

Detroit: Become Human: Series

Of Gods and Their Humans - a very long AU involving old gods of nature and the humans who love them - this series is my baby <3

Existing Masterpost here

What’s It Going to Take - Gavin/Nines post pacifist revolution story, where Gavin has to come to terms with who he loves, and Nines has to figure out how to get it on

What’s It Going to Take for You to Feel? - T, 6K, Gavin/Nines - Nines is just an unfeeling android, why should Gavin care about what happens to him?

What’s It Going to Take for You to Feel Good? - E, 30K, Gavin/Nines - a choose-your-own adventure of first time smut

What Can I Take From You? - E, 1K, Gavin/Nines - A closer look at Gavin’s fears

And Yet I Stay Alive - double android AU where Gavin and Nines both have their own demons to battle

Alike in Both the Heart and Mind - E, 31K, Gavin/Nines - Humanoid GV and monstrous RK couldn’t be more different, but they will need to work together if they want to stay alive

Getting Used to Normal - T, 1K, Gavin/Nines - A look at the domestic life GV and RK have built for themselves

Don’t Let It In - a very very self-indulgent spooky prairie gothic AU

Let Me In (i’ll be good to you, i swear) - M, 1K, Allen/Connor60 - Allen lives a simple life out on the prairie, but his little house is being haunted

The Full Moon is My Favorite (let me share it with you) - T, 2K, Allen/Connor60 - Allen’s simple life continues on, much the same as it ever was - or was it?

Cold Dead Hearts Club - fluffy modern adventures of vampire!Gavin and werewolf!Niles

Full Moon Date Night - G, 1K, Gavin/Nines - Gavin is a vampire and Niles is a werewolf and they get along just fine

Full Moon Date Night - T, 1K, Gavin/Nines - Gavin and Niles take a roadtrip together

Motorcycle Emptiness - a collaboration with the wonderful @connorssock where the boys are all in motorcycle gangs. Mind the tags on this one!

Rev My Engines - E, 251K, Allen/Connor60, ACTIVELY UPDATING - Allen and Sixty aren’t exactly friends to begin with, but they’re exactly what they both need

It’s You Not Me - E, 38K, Hank/Connor, ACTIVELY UPDATING - Connor hasn’t had a good life, but Hank loves him through it

Stabilizers - E, 45K, Gavin/Nines, ACTIVELY UPDATING - Gavin and Nines are somehow the most reasonable out of all three couples

Other

A Day in the Sun - Transistor, G, 2K, Red & The Boxer - Life in the Country turns out to be quite nice

#pinned post

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tibbinswrites · 5 years

Note

Yi! I am the anon who requested 16 and 77. You could do angst but with a happy ending?

Hi Anon! I did it! Finally xD sorry you had to wait so long. I might have more time on my hands but that doesn’t mean I always spend it wisely, or that my brain wants to cooperate when I tell it to make a story.

Man, I really love this prompt. You picked a gooden. I won’t officially pair it with prompt 16 because I’ve already used that number (though I did add a kiss in it for you ;))

Warning for mentions of suicide (no one named, no details, just mentioned).

I hope you like it ^_^

I’ve now done prompts for: #1, #2, #4 and #16, #9, #10, #77, #78, #170 and #502

I also have 3 prompts waiting for: #20, #33 and an addition to #170 so if you send me a new one in be prepared to wait a while!

77. You just stood there and held me, then you started dancin’ slow. And as I pulled you tighter I swore I’d never let you go. (Point Blank)

Sam and Dean had been gone for almost two weeks now. Cas wasn’t worried, they checked in on a daily basis with updates and requests for lore and questions about how Jack was settling back in so he knew they were okay. They were hunting something with some kind of mind altering tendencies, whether a djinn, wraith, witch or something else was yet to be determined but it had killed six people. The victims had complained of nightmares a few days before their deaths. Suicides, all of them, and not clean. The thing was proving difficult to track down, it didn’t seem to have a preference of victims, man or woman, old or young. Different ethnicities and social circles, there didn’t seem to be anything that linked them. Cas could sense their frustration, but no, he wasn’t worried.

He did miss them however, especially Dean. Jack was good company; they played board games and Cas taught him some of the basics of fighting with a blade, just in case he was ever faced with an enemy while he couldn’t use his powers. They watched Netflix together, the brightly-coloured modern cartoons that Sam and Dean scoffed at and Jack asked him questions about angels and monsters and lore of all kinds, but there was always a certain level of separation to it, in the way he understood that there had to be between parents and their children and there were less jokes than when the Winchesters were around, less laughter. Cas wasn’t very good at jokes. His dry humour would sometimes get a snort or a small chuckle, but that was the extent of it. He didn’t have Dean’s ability to goof around and act the fool, nor did he have Sam’s quick tact in knowing where to poke to cause a laugh rather than offence. Jack wasn’t very good at jokes either though, so they rubbed along quite well together.

It was on the twelfth morning that Sam called for the second time that day and when Cas looked at the phone he knew something had gone wrong.

“What happened?” He demanded without preamble.

“Dean had a nightmare.” Sam’s voice was tight and worried, “A bad one.”

Cas frowned. “That’s not too unusual. Unless you think…”

“The thing got him. Yeah.”

“So you have… what? Less than two days until he becomes a suicide risk?”

“Yeah.”

Cas clenched his jaw, reached his free hand up to rub at the bridge of his nose.

“You’re not far away, I can be there-”

“No,” Sam said firmly. “I don’t want Jack anywhere near this thing and you can’t leave him alone right now. You need to stay where you are. We’ll figure this out.”

“But-”

“I know,” Sam said, and he really did sound apologetic. “Trust me, I’d rather have you here too. But we have Jack to look after and I’m not actually sure you coming here would help Dean. I mentioned you before and he just kind of… froze up.”

“He did?” Cas frowned at the far wall, that didn’t make any sense.

“Yeah. And he got this look… I think his nightmare was about you, or had you in it or something. Of course, I don’t know because he won’t talk to me but… It might be best you stay away for now. I’ll keep you posted.”

Cas sighed, biting down on his instinct to run to the garage and grab a set of keys. With his failing grace there was no guarantee he’d be able to do something so complex as break a curse or purge a venom or completely undo a biological reaction#. There were certain intricacies involved and he wasn’t certain he had the strength. The brothers could still fix this on their own, they still had time.

“Alright.” He conceded. “I’ll give you forty-eight hours. But after that I’m coming to meet you. I can’t just sit here and wait for that call.” His voice wobbled a little at the end as his imagination ran wild. But it wasn’t just the thought of Dean taking his own life that terrified him… selfishly it was the idea that Cas needed to see him again, that he couldn’t let the last memory he had of Dean be one where he’d walked away.

“That’s fair.” Sam agreed, and Cas could picture him running a hand through his hair, the way he did when he was stressed and worried. “But it won’t be needed. We’ll fix this. We’ll kill the thing and it’ll be fine.”

“Get Dean to make a list of everyone he met or bumped into yesterday,” Cas said in lieu of something reassuring. He had complete faith in the brothers, knew that they were more than capable hunters, that Sam at least would do whatever it took to save Dean, but there was still a tiny kernel in his brain that whispered what if he can’t this time, and Cas knew that it wouldn’t go away until the danger had passed.

The rest of the phone call was tense and perfunctory, but once he hung up, not being able to hear Sam’s concern actually alleviated his own. The danger wasn’t immediate yet and he trusted them to find a solution fast.

Xxx

It took them until the next morning. Cas was sitting with Jack and they were talking over bowls of cereal with the kind of sugar content that always made Sam purse his lips. Jack hadn’t seemed overly concerned about Dean when Cas told him what had happened; apparently he had the same confidence in the Winchesters that Cas did, and his surety was comforting.

The phone rang and even though Cas was sure nothing was wrong, that this was just Sam’s daily update on the situation, his spoon went clattering back into the bowl, splattering milk everywhere as he jumped to answer it.

“Sam?” He said. His voice did not tremble.

“We got it.” Sam’s voice was pure relief. “Witch. We’ll be back in a couple hours.”

Cas sighed heavy and cleansing. The expression on his face must have told Jack everything he needed to know because he smiled, gave a thumbs up and went back to his cereal.

“I’m glad,” Cas said. “Dean’s alright?”

“Yeah, the curse has broken.” Sam hesitated then, and his voice dropped like Dean was close by and he didn’t want him to overhear. “But it was real tough on him. Sent him into some kind of waking nightmare. Screaming fit, something. So he might not want to celebrate or anything when we get back.”

Which was code for ‘don’t be offended if Dean locks himself in his room for the next three days.’

“Of course. It’ll just be good to have you home. See you soon, Sam.”

“Bye, Cas.”

Cas placed the phone down and smiled as Jack munched on his cereal.

“They’re heading back. They should be here by noon.”

“Cool,” Jack said around his spoon. “I’m glad Dean’s okay.”

“Me too,” Cas agreed.

“I mean… I wasn’t exactly worried,” Jack continued, a slight furrow in his brow. “Is that wrong? I don’t know if it’s because of my soul or if I just knew they’d make it back.”

“The Winchesters do have an excellent record for making it through these kinds of situations,” Cas said carefully. “It’s not wrong to expect them to always make it back. It’s easy to feel like the danger isn’t real when we have all faced so much worse than a rogue witch. But many experienced hunters get killed on routine cases. The danger is always real, sometimes it’s just a matter of luck.”

“Or a matter of having your lives written out by God,” Jack said, a slight quirk to his mouth that Cas couldn’t help but mirror.

“Yes. I suppose knowing that Chuck has a specific plan for them makes it easier,” he said. “Knowing Him, if Sam or Dean dies on an ordinary case He’ll just resurrect them until they can play out His story. Or at least, their own story. They’ve never been good at following rules.”

Xxx

It had just gone midday when the door of the bunker clanged loudly, indicating the return of the brothers. Cas hurried to the war room to meet them. It was silly perhaps but he wanted to see Dean for himself, to make sure that he was alright. Dean shuffled behind Sam, his head down. He looked pale and wan, like he often did after the kind of nightmare that drew Cas into his room to try and soothe away. Clearly, whatever the witch had done to him was going to take more than a gas station burrito and a drive in the impala to get over. Sam looked like he needed a hot shower and a long nap. He nodded to Cas as he passed, clapping him on the shoulder. When Dean caught sight of him though he stopped halfway through a step. He seemed to forget that he was walking and began to tip forwards. Concerned, Cas stepped in to catch him and found himself with Dean’s arms around his neck and Dean’s smell in his nose and Dean’s mouth on his and his whole existence narrowed to just Dean, Dean, Dean.

Thoroughly overwhelmed by the whole situation, Cas decided that his best course of action was not to move so he stood there stiffly until Dean pulled back, only to bury his face in Cas’ shoulder instead and, in a move more terrifying than the wrath of God, began to sob.

“I killed you.” Dean’s voice was tiny and broken, barely audible, even to his ears. “I killed you and you let me and I had to burn you all over again.”

Cas didn’t know what to say. What would be the point in telling Dean that it was just a bad dream brought on by a curse? That it wasn’t real? Dean knew that, just as Cas had known that the room full of Deans that Naomi had made him kill weren’t real. That didn’t make the guilt any easier to carry. So instead he said nothing, raising his arms to fold them around Dean’s back, pulling him closer.

“I felt it,” Dean muttered against his neck. “It was so real. I had to, I just knew that I had to. But I don’t know why, and it doesn’t matter. I don’t care what happens, I know that I can’t do that again. I don’t care if the world burns.”

“I love you.” Cas whispered back, because for the first time it needed to be said. It had existed in the in-between spaces of their lives, of course, their love. Cas knew that Dean felt it too, knew it probably before Dean himself had accepted it. But Cas had let it exist without acknowledgement. He didn’t need a declaration and Dean wasn’t ready to make one. The feeling was enough.

Dean didn’t say it back, but Cas felt it in the way he clung on tighter, his fingers digging into his shoulder blades even through his trenchcoat and shirt. So Cas said it again, and again, his words the song forever playing in his mind, a symphony of feeling. So he began to rock Dean along to the sound, soothing and slow, patient and endless, and it was almost dancing, he thought, tightening his own hold. And as he did so, he knew that be it forty more years or four more minutes, Castiel would be content if he got to spend them holding Dean.

#prompts #prompt #supernatural #Destiel fanfic #spn fanfic #suicide mention cw #writing #TibbinsWrites #fanfiction

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vi-olia · 5 years

Text

Yuletide 2019 Letter

Dear Writer,

Hi! I am violia over on AO3 and viiolia here on tumblr.

I am so excited that you have been matched with me for this year’s Yuletide. This letter is intended to expand upon the small details that I gave you on the AO3 signup. If you’d prefer to not have any more details from me, then I understand! Good luck, thank you for writing in these small fandoms, and I can’t wait for the 25th!

On the other hand, if you’d like some more info from me, then please read on. What you’ll find here is a list of my likes and dislikes, and then a rundown of each of my requested fandoms, in which I explain why I love the characters and fandoms that I’ve chosen, so that you may get an idea of what I’d like to see in potential fics, without me just straight up telling you what to do.

ABOUT ME

Likes:

If there’s only one thing that you want to remember about me, please let it be this: at the end of the day, I will love any fic if it is driven by strong, well-thought-out characters and relationships.

Happy endings! I enjoy angst and hurt/comfort, but please let there be a happy ending for all.

Snappy dialogue.

I love canon! All these canons. I also like canon divergence and post-canon fics.

Humour, romance, mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, drama, adventure, magical realism.

I generally enjoy fandom tropes, as long as they’re adapted to suit the specific characters and relationship dynamics. Friends-to-lovers, or 5+1 things, are two tropes that immediately come to mind. The same goes for AUs: I love an AU if there’s been good thought and worldbuilding put into how the specific characters and relationships would fit into a different canonical universe.

I love slash. All my requests contain characters that I love to ship together. I love smut and romance and getting-together fics and established relationship fics. But if slash really isn’t your thing - I won’t mind a gen or pre-slash story either. Again, at the end of the day, if the fic is driven by strong, interesting, emotional characters and arcs, whether in relationships or not, I will be loving it!

In terms of smut, I really enjoy (again, I’m a broken record) when it’s informed by the characters’ emotions/dynamics/relationship at that certain point in the story. I enjoy reading more vanilla smut and more kinky smut; specific likes include praise kink, consent play/dubcon (where it’s still clear that both parties have consented to this kink), body worship, semi-public sex (preferably close calls, or without being caught), tender sex, and rough sex (not too much actual pain though). My bookmarked works on AO3 can be pretty, uh, enlightening in terms of what smut I like to read. Also, this is pedantic but I prefer the word “come” rather than “cum”.

Dislikes/DNWs:

Animal and child abuse/death.

Character death, or characters with cancer/terminal illnesses.

Unhappy endings.

Horror, zombies, cannibalism, and extreme/non-canon-typical violence.

PWP. Don’t get me wrong - I love porn. But please have some plot in there!

De-aging.

Student/teacher relationships, and any circumstances/relationships/power dynamics where a main character is taking unfair or malicious advantage of another.

Rape.

Infidelity.

First person POV.

In terms of smut, I’m really not a fan of BDSM, scat, watersports, vomit, extreme humiliation, body horror, or bestiality.

BLACKKKLANSMAN Ron Stallworth, Flip Zimmerman

This film really got me good. Everything about it struck me - the message, the characters, the plot, the cinematography, the music. I quickly fell in love with Ron and Flip and the idea of those two becoming friends (or something more).

I love Ron Stallworth for his courage and wit. I love how he approaches life and people. He’s so open, low-key and easy to get along with. He’s not quick to judge anyone. Perhaps this stems partly from the time he spent at college. But I truly feel that if someone were to come out to Ron Stallworth, he would never discriminate against them. Maybe he’d need some time to fully understand. Maybe he’s needed some time to fully come to terms with his own sexuality. But he’s not one to judge. And he’s so smart and such a quick-thinker. And probably a little kinky, which I love. Okay I’ll stop rambling about Ron now.

Time to ramble about Flip instead. Flip Zimmerman: the Gruff, Quiet Romantic. I love how Flip can seem so immovable, always unfazed. He and Ron are similar, in this way. But Ron is way more in touch with his emotions, whereas Flip is not so much. Or maybe he is in touch with his emotions, but he just doesn’t often express them. I love that Flip needs to really trust someone before he lets them get close. He’s not quick to judge others, either, but I think he can certainly hold some judgements about himself, and out of the both of them, I’d say Flip would have more trouble coming to terms with his sexuality, or admitting his feelings for Ron. But oh boy - I think Flip would be fantastic in bed. Yes ma’am. Mmm… anyway.

One thing I’m very aware of is that being gay or exploring your sexuality was not totally fun or freeing in 1970s America. It came with a lot of serious dangers. Being outed could cost you your job, your safety, your family, and more. Writer, I would appreciate it very much if you could take this historical context into account. It directly informs whatever friendship/relationship Ron and Flip have. I would find it very difficult to feel immersed in a story about two men, one Jewish and one African-American, who are coming to terms with their feelings for one another, or entering into a romantic and/or sexual relationship with one another, or forging a close friendship with one another, if the story did not take into account the serious issues of racism and homophobia which pervade the era and setting of this film. (AKA, please don’t have them sitting in a public cafe holding hands, or something else that’s unrealistic for this time period.)

My preference for these two characters is clearly skewed towards slash. I would love to read about them forging a relationship, romantic or sexual or both. Maybe they go from friends to lovers, or they do the only fun thing there is to do in Colorado Springs and hike into the wilderness for a private moment. Or maybe they’re in an established relationship, and navigating their lives as a closeted gay couple who both work for the police department. Or maybe you think of something else entirely; I can’t wait. Alternatively, maybe you’d prefer to write gen or pre-slash instead, and in that case, please feel free. I would love reading about the growth of Ron and Flip’s friendship, or more of their time working together as police officers. Ultimately, I am just so excited to potentially receive a fic from you, for me, which I think is so special.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE RPF Colin Jost, Michael Che

Although the first year or two they spent as hosts of Weekend Update was fairly rocky at times, Colin Jost and Michael Che have really come into their own with this segment on SNL, and the hate comments I used to see on their videos a couple of years ago have almost all changed to comments of support and appreciations of their comedy. What makes them so good at this is their dynamic. They bounce off of either other constantly on the show, and they work so well together - they have to, in this job!

Michael Che is the one true trash fire that I know and love. What is he doing? I don’t know. I don’t think he knows either. And I love him for it. One thing that really stands out to me about Che is how good he is at comedy, and particularly stand-up. I can tell that he seriously puts a lot of thought and effort into his delivery. He makes it sound so effortless and off the top of his head, but in reality he is practiced and professional and knows his craft. His humour often comments on big issues like racism and gender, and I personally really enjoy this commentary-style comedy, where you can poke fun at everyone but also have a serious message to convey as well. Personality-wise, I love how Che is a selective over-thinker. He can be so overly conscious of some things, and so oblivious and apathetic about others. I think he might struggle, or has previously struggled with his sexuality; but I also think Colin makes him weak at the knees, and Che finds himself simultaneously wanting to take Colin on a date, and fuck him into the mattress, and run away and hide in another country, and fall asleep for three years, all at once.

Colin’s humour is more silly and less ‘controversial’ than Che’s. I don’t enjoy it less, just differently. Colin definitely has his life more together than Che does - or at least, is great at acting like he’s got his life together. I love that Colin is easygoing and quietly calm and confident, but beneath that, I think he struggles with some overthinking tendencies too. And sometimes he really doesn’t feel confident at all. I think he’s pretty in touch with his emotions, but when it comes to expressing them, sometimes he might just need a moment to get the right words. Especially if he’s nervous. But I love that Colin really likes Che. He finds Che so hilarious (and vice versa, of course). I love how Che can always make Colin laugh out loud, or do his cute little smile that’s a twist of his lips. I love that they can bounce off each other in progressing a joke to the point where it seems like they’re the only two people in the room.

Truly, I think they’re both trash fires in their own ways. I think it’s a minor miracle if they get together, because they’re both second-guessing themselves at some point, and they both treasure their friendship so incredibly much. But that’s why I love them so much - because of how closely tied together they are. They truly value each other in their lives. They are best friends and close confidants and they’ve gone through a lot together.

I love reading about Colin and Che and their lives working at SNL. The work week is incredibly hectic at that show - even more so now that Colin and Che are head writers, as well as managing and appearing in their own segment. I find the whole cast of SNL fascinating and hilarious, and I think a lot of people romanticise what it might be like to work in such a demanding job with such a close-knit community of people. I think who they are at this point in time is tied very closely with their jobs, especially because they work together. If you’re writing a story or some scenes that take place at SNL, I don’t mind if you include other SNL cast members in passing interactions, for the sake of verisimilitude.

Writer, I would love it if you could just pretend that Colin Jost is not engaged to Scarlett Johansson. Or if there’s another way you want to deal with that, then go for it. Please just heed my DNWs: no infidelity, and no unhappy endings. Other than that, I’m so excited about any story you have about these two guys. I clearly ship them together; I’d love to see some aspect of their relationship, maybe getting together or in an established relationship, maybe during the SNL season or something they get up to during their summer holidays. If you’re more of a gen or pre-slash writer, I totally understand - just their dynamic as it is now, as friends who bounce off one another and get on each others’ nerves but ultimately understand each other on a deeper level than anyone else around them, is so interesting and entertaining for me to watch and I’d love to read more of it.

Side note: Colin and Che did an advertisement for Red Nose Day on the Weekend Update desk in which Kate McKinnon, in an old-lady character that I think embodies all of fandom, lobbies for them to kiss. Colin kisses Che on the cheek, but Che was totally ready for a peck on the lips. THIS VIDEO IS MAYBE POSSIBLY REQUIRED VIEWING FOR THESE CHARACTERS. Search their names + Red Nose Day on Youtube to find it; requires a VPN if you’re not based in the USA.

LEGALLY BLONDE Elle Woods, Vivian Kensington

I have two words for you. LAWYER WIVES. Or law student wives. That’s more than two words, but you get the idea.

A couple of months ago, I rewatched Legally Blonde for the first time in many years. My biggest takeaway from this viewing? ELLE AND VIVIAN NEED TO DITCH THOSE GROSS GUYS AND JUST GET TOGETHER INSTEAD. Seriously! Warner is a sexist and self-absorbed asshole. Both Elle and Vivian deserve so much better… aka, each other.

The biggest thing I love about Elle Woods is her positive and caring attitude. She rarely lets things get her down, nor does she fall into self-pity. And Vivian Kensington just screams smol baby gay to me and I adore her for it. Please can someone (Elle) walk into Vivian’s life and pull her out of the humdrum of repetitive, lame, often orgasm-less intercourses with self-absorbed men and into the beautiful world of women pleasuring other women one, two, three times over. But also I do love how Vivian puts on a strong, confident face and is so dedicated to her studies and career but you can tell, beneath all that, she’s still figuring all this stuff out.

I think Vivian can learn a lot from Elle about how to let go, have fun, and most of all, how to be more considerate of others; I think Elle can learn a lot from Vivian about discipline, duty, responsibility, and the more realistic/gritty aspects of being a lawyer. I think that together, these two women could balance each other out incredibly well. They could learn and grow together and support each other.

I think Elle’s naïveté could sometimes get annoying, especially to someone like Vivian, who is incredibly knowledgeable, realistic and down-to-earth. But that’s not to say that Elle is not those things as well. And in fact, I think Vivian can be quite naive herself when it comes to emotions and relationships; this is an area she’s not totally confident in. It’s pretty clear that Vivian’s internalised some sexist and misogynistic attitudes (see: slut-shaming Elle when she was sexually harassed by Callahan). I think Vivian’s jump to conclusions here can also be attributed to her tendency to act first, and ask questions later; she’s quicker to judge others than Elle is.

I hope this whole bunch of random thoughts I have about these characters gives you some idea of why I love them so much. What I’ve written here leans more towards femslash; but please know that, if you prefer to write gen, I would of course gladly accept any gen fic that you gift me. Because it’ll be from you, to me! And that is something so special and exciting. At the end of the day, I just want to read about these two characters growing closer together, whether that be in a friendship or relationship.

Note: if you want to include Emmett and/or Warner in some capacity, I don’t mind, just as long as the main focus of the story is on Elle and Vivian. Tbh I think Elle and Emmett would be awesome best friends.

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam France season 3, episode 2 reaction

Skam France is really leveling up

Eliott Demaury, raccoon enthusiast is the best creative decision they’ve ever made

Episode 2

Clip 1 - surejan.gif

Is the B-roll or w/e at the start of the clip the same place Lucas was brooding in the first clip of the season? It’s probably reading too much into it but I like that those two dudes on the bench are there for a reason, like mirroring Lucas and Eliott at the end of the last episode, sitting with space between them (no Chloé in the middle, though).

Lucas scrolls through his phone looking for Eliott. He doesn’t find him, but he does find a friend request from Chloé, which he accepts after a moment’s hesitation. Son, she’s going to take that as a marriage proposal.

Mika plops down beside him and nags Lucas about the rent. Now that Manon’s parents are no longer financing Lucas’ rent, seems like he’s behind. Can I just mention that Mika and Lucas look like they could be related? I know it is a running Skam fandom joke that the Evak couples look related (sometimes said with underlying homophobia IMO BUT I’m not going to go into that rant now) and I’ve seen people say Lucas and Eliott look similar, but Lucas and Mika are the ones who stick out the most to me. Actually, Lisa too. If you told me that this was an apartment of like ... three siblings being gay and cranky at each other, I would buy it.

Notifications are going off on Mika’s phone. It’s because Mika changed his profile pic, which he helpfully shows to Lucas/the viewers - I mean, I can get why his phone is blowing up, not gonna lie. No dick from what I can see, but you know. Suggestive. Pubes are clearly visible.

Lucas is like, I don’t want to see that! Well, I don’t think Lucas objects to naked men but I believe him in this instance because Mika is fulfilling the big brother role. Mika teases him about seeing what a man’s body looks like. Don’t worry Mika, in like a month Lucas is going to have very thorough knowledge of what a man’s body looks like.

Mika then asks for Lucas’ advice on a straight dude who wants a blowjob. Does he want it for himself or to do it to Mika? He helpfully imitates a blowjob that freaks out Lucas. I mean, it kinda freaks me out, I had war flashbacks to that grapefruit technique video. (If you have not seen that video, all I’m going to say that it is highly NSFW, not to be watched in public or if you have a heart condition, and I’m sorry.)

Mika is like, if you want to suck dick, you’re not that straight. Lucas is like, well, maybe he wants to try. Maybe that guy is just curious! HMMM Lucas, interesting train of thought. I’m sure you have no personal investment in this debate whatsoever. Mika helpfully shows Lucas’ a picture of the “curious” guy’s butthole. That Mika, being so helpful today.

Lucas gets up because he doesn’t want to spend his weekend looking at naked guys. Well, maybe not guys, plural. Again, in about a month you’re going to look back on that comment and laugh, bro.

Mika and Lisa agree that Manon was funnier. Lmao, I kinda love how they’re so unimpressed with Lucas.

Clip 2 - Light and dark

Lucas walks into school on Monday morning and … goes through an attendance book? He didn’t even hesitate, this guy does not give a single shit, does he? He’s just going to grab love by the balls. The camera puts us in Lucas’ POV by focusing from top to bottom like it’s imitating Lucas scanning the list, which is a good detail. Skam France had some POV issues I didn’t care for in previous seasons so this feels more carefully thought out.

Just as I’m noticing Raptor Alex’s name above Eliott’s, the man himself appears. Oh yeah, they’re supposed to be pals now. They have a short conversation where Lucas is like, WHOOPS, silly me taking the wrong book! When Alex asks for the register, Lucas snakes out and distracts him by congratulating Alex on him and Emma. Alex is like, “Huh? Did Emma tell you that?” Well, they were obviously making out at the party and hanging out together in their IG stories, so while it’s maybe an assumption that they are 100% a couple, there’s obviously something going on between them.

I’ve never really been like ... dying for Isak/P-Chris friendship or interaction post-S2, although I think it could have been interesting. Plus, Chris had graduated by S3 so there weren’t as many opportunities for them to interact. But it’s a nice follow-up here since Raptor Alex is still in school with them. (Was he supposed to graduate along with Charles last year, though? I totally forgot. It feels like those seasons aired forever ago.)

Bell rings, Lucas scampers off with the register. I was like, “Wait, did he even put it back?” until Alex calls after him for it, lmao. I like to imagine that it’s just gone forever, a casualty of love.

In the classroom, Lucas looks up Eliott on his phone. Unlike Isak, he has the wisdom to plug in earbuds before listening to anything.

He’s looking at a crowdfunding page for a project of Eliott’s. It’s noted that the project closed and that the funding was not reached, and that detail punched a hole in my heart. Instant poignancy, instant affection for Eliott. We don’t know the circumstances yet of why he didn’t meet his goal, and if it was at all related to his manic/depressive episodes - perhaps a nice bit of foreshadowing if it turns out they are related - but it’s automatically sympathetic to learn someone had a dream that went unfulfilled.

In a video, Eliott is talking about his project - a film called Polaris, about two characters and a tunnel. One is a boy, and one is not specified, (a boy, a girl, a creature) which I think is hinting at Elliott’s pansexuality, that he’s okay with any gender, it doesn’t matter to him. The second character does not leave the tunnel, because they are afraid of the light, and they meet the boy, who’s afraid of the dark. They can’t live in each other’s worlds so they chat at the border without ever seeing each other. They talk and fall in love but never meet until one of them decides to conquer their fears and go to the other’s world.

So there’s a lot of obvious symbolism here. Tbh, it’s pretty on the nose and I wish they’d toned it down just a smidge, since this is like … probably exactly what is going to happen with them for either their first kiss or their version of O Helga Natt (or both), but I still appreciate the effort a lot and am eager to see it in action. This is what I wanted from S3 remakes, for each of them to develop their own symbolism that fits their characters, because Isak and Even’s symbolism is so specific to them, their names and their story, that you inherently lose something when you transplant it to other versions of them. The concept of rebirth is really beautiful in a gay love story about coming out and being born as one’s authentic self; I think the idea of light and darkness being used in a similar way - especially in terms of a coming out narrative, being in darkness, coming into the light - could also be beautiful, and of course there are the ideas of having to be brave in order to live with each other, very relevant for an m/m couple in a homophobic society and for someone like Eliott who would be afraid to get close to someone due to his mental illness. It also works in the sense that neither of the characters in the film see each other until they get over their fears - both Lucas and Eliott have baggage and neither will really “see” or understand each other truly until they confront their respective issues.

Right now it seems like Eliott would be the one in the tunnel and Lucas is the one who’s afraid of the dark, and Lucas is going to have to leave his world to be with Eliott. Because well, this is supposed to be Lucas’ story, and the name “Lucas” is associated with light, or meaning “light-giver” or something similar. We know that one episode is called “the boy who was afraid of the dark” and that’s probably referring to Lucas since it’s his POV. At this point in the story, too, we aren’t supposed to know that Eliott is mentally ill, we don’t know he’s struggling, so we might also think that it’ll all be on Lucas to change in order for them to be together. But I think it’s also plausible that maybe they’ll switch roles over the course of the season, they both take turns in the light and in the dark. Maybe Lucas steps into the dark for the first kiss, conquering what he’s afraid of, then he steps into the light for the O Helga Natt equivalent. Or Lucas steps into the dark for the kiss, Eliott must step into the light for O Helga Natt. There are many ways it could go. But this is also what I like about them changing the symbolism, it leads to this kind of speculation.

I’d like to see Lucas and Eliott being a little more strongly contrasted, too, sort of like they’re ... polar opposites, eh? OK, not that corny and not that they need to be so different that they can’t get along. I just think it’d be interesting with the light and dark metaphor to have them be clearly different in some ways, personality-wise, arc-wise. I want to see their separate worlds highlighted at some point.

Also want to mention that you could perhaps apply this imagery to certain scenes already, like in the first clip of the season you had Lucas in the daytime, light reflecting off the water and through the trees, but he’s not really comfortable there, he’s alone and detached. Later that night, Lucas making out with Chloé in the hallway sort of put him in shadow (or that might be Skam France’s lighting in general, IDK). Might be a reach but it’d be interesting if those choices stacked up throughout the season and reflected the larger metaphor, when we see who’s playing what role.

Polaris itself is “the brightest star in the constellation of Ursa Minor” so that’s another nice allusion to light in itself.

Imane shows up and scares the bejesus out of Lucas. She was going to give him the weed, but he ruined it by being a weenie. However, he redeems himself by expressing interest in the common room project and saying he’ll be at the next meeting. I wonder what changed his mind? Daphne’s enthusiasm? No matter, Imane must see some progress in Lucas, like he needs a reward for good behavior, because she decides to give him back the weed.

He’s grateful, but the teacher sees their drug exchange and wants to know what’s going on. When she asks to see what’s under the table, Imane whips out some tampons and says Lucas brought them to her. LMAO, that’s pretty funny.

She calls out the teacher for humiliating her in front of everyone, which is also funny, although I kind of feel bad for that teacher, lol. We haven’t seen her be a racist yet like Isak and Sana’s teacher, and I mean ... her students were passing drugs under the table, she wasn’t wrong about them being shady.

Arthur and Alexia laugh at them in the background. I want to know what’s going on over at that table! We can have two pairs of classroom buddies!

Lucas and Imane both laugh so that’s really the kickoff to their friendship. Tampons: saving the day, bringing people together. Tampax should make it into a commercial.

Clip 3 - Questionnaires

It’s the common room meeting, just the girl squad and Lucas, and they’re going over the questionnaires that people filled out. The consensus is that the common room sucks, and people make dirty comments when anonymous (literally the least surprising thing ever if you have ever seen a bathroom stall or any comments section on the Internet).

Daphne kicks out Emma when she gets a phone call and Lucas laughs along with the others. He seems way happier and more comfortable with the girl squad than with anyone else so far, and I think a lot of that is because there isn’t the pressure to maintain a typical hetero fuckboy persona with them as with the boy squad. They’re just girls engaging on a dorky project, so he can just relax.

Alex reads another questionnaire and the answers are all about Daphne. Lucas confirms that the phone number on the page is Basile’s. Daphne looks done with it, she’s caught him staring and drooling, she doesn’t get why he’s into her all of a sudden. Man, I’m already sick of Basile, he’s like Magnus from hell. Especially because Daphne is so not into it, and the fact that she’s noticed him salivating him over her makes it worse. I think it’s for comic relief but it quickly went to creepy territory, and I hate that they’ll likely hook up at some point. Please please don’t go there.

A lot of the questionnaires mention they dislike the mural, so I bet they’ll paint another one at some point, and I bet Eliott will have an idea that they use, being the artsy guy he is. Also, everyone wants them to throw a party so I’m sure that’ll be the setup for either the neon party or the Christmas party (whatever takes the place of those scenes).

Lucas reads another questionnaire that requests a vending machine (reasonable) and a nudist day once a month (not so reasonable) and I was gonna say it was Eliott’s form, because of the vending machine connection and probably some painful foreshadowing toward the hotel naked incident, but actually it’s Alexia’s form, LMAO. She wants the eye candy of naked guys and girls. A nice way to integrate her bisexuality since she’s into naked guys and girls.

I notice that Alexia has a little rainbow patch on her jeans, so I’m hoping that they’ve taken feedback from earlier seasons and will more directly address her sexuality. I know her ex Clara has been listed in the credits, so that’s very promising. I hope they keep it up and maybe Lucas can connect with her over being LGBT, well, G and B, respectively.

Emma comes back and complains that Alex thinks she’s been telling people they’ve been going out when they’re just hooking up, but Lucas does not care (even though he is responsible for giving Alex that impression) because Eliott walks by the window. Lucas hauls ass out of there and goes out to find him - give him some credit, Lucas is being pretty upfront about approaching Eliott, or going after what he wants so far. What is that gonna end up meaning to his overall character arc? I’m fine with that approach to Lucas’ character, I’m just curious how it will affect his overall characterization from beginning to end. Because Isak wasn’t a total wallflower, he did pursue Even in his own way, but I felt like because he also could be reserved and shy about Even, it was narratively significant when he took certain steps for clear reasons to his personal growth. (I think Lucas and Isak are maybe not all that different about their approaches so far, just slight ways that make it seem Lucas is bolder - like going up to Eliott at the vending machine himself, grabbing the register instead of walking by a list, running after Eliott instead of standing still and locking eyes with him).

Before Lucas can go stalking, he runs into the boy squad. Yann is like, were you in the common room? Spending a lot of time with the girls, eh? Like is he just being a dick about that, because Lucas is choosing the girls over the boy squad, or does he think Lucas wants to hook up with one of those girls? Or is this more about the common room project seeming stupid to him?

Of course Basile has to ask about whether Daphne is thinking about him, GOD please shut him up. Arthur tells him Daphne doesn’t care about him. The hero we need.

Lucas looks around the courtyard but no Eliott in sight. ur boys cockblocked u, bro

Chloé and Maria come up and invite the boys to their party on Friday. Maria’s fucking cute when she’s not puking, she does a little dance with the invitation. Lucas tries to say they have plans but Arthur’s like, no we don’t! We’re coming! No, Arthur, don’t say that, you know Basile is going to be a creep about it.

The squad gangs up on Lucas for saying no, because you’re always supposed to say yes to partying with girls, and it’s played for laughs with their reactions and stuff but really it is shitty how these guys don’t want to listen to their friend. I mean, let’s say situations were reversed and Lucas was a girl who said “this guy is stalking me.” We’d all be like, get away from that dude, you don’t have to spend time with him, right? Or we’d hope that girl’s friends would say so.

Lucas says Chloé has been clinging to him and it’s stressing him out, and Arthur’s like, I don’t get you, she’s into you, but you’re stressing out? Lucas is clearly stressed by this conversation and that he can’t tell the boys what’s up. All that pressure to like girls is draining him.

I think it is important to keep in mind that Isak also felt isolated from the boy squad at this point in the story, for similar reasons: he had a big secret that he couldn’t tell them, and he felt like he had to like girls to fit in with them, and they put pressure on him to hook up with girls, talk about girls, go to parties with girls. What I think is the big difference, and why it feels perhaps more noticeable with Lucas, is that Isak didn’t have the interaction with the girl squad other than Sana blackmailing him and Vilde annoying him, so we didn’t see him have this friendly outlet where he’s relaxed. In fact, the first time in his season we see him really start to relax and be himself is with Even. I think that contrast was valuable toward establishing Isak’s connection with Even, showing Even as someone who brings Isak out of his shell. But with Lucas, first he is able to laugh together with Imane - Isak and Sana had a moment but they weren’t like giggling together after Isak told off the racist teacher - and second he seems to be having a good time at the common room meeting. Then he goes to the boy squad and it immediately becomes tense. However, I don’t have a huge problem with Lucas laughing a bit with the girl squad here. It makes him seem somewhat less socially isolated, since he seems relaxed with them (even if this isn’t the deepest or most intimate interaction), but it still provides contrast to his interaction with his male friends. It would be nice if the story highlighted this a little more later on, as to why Lucas might feel more comfortable with the girl squad and not the boys when he’s closeted.

Clip 4 - Polaris

At home, Lucas watches the animated storyboard for Eliott’s Polaris video. A guy and another person of ambiguous gender meet just outside the tunnel in the rain and finally kiss.

I like that Lucas got to watch the project itself (or a storyboard of it) and be invested in it. That’s something I loved about Isak watching Even’s video and then watching R+J - he got to fall for Even watching him be funny and strange talking about his Cap/Putin video, and then he got to watch a movie that Even loved and that awakened these very emotional parts of himself. He got to see a great love in action and wish for that for himself, he got a glimpse of Even’s soul from the art Even loves. Lucas does something similar here in that he gets a glimpse of Eliott’s creative mind, something very personal, and fall for him further, and Eliott’s video is also about great love that Lucas feels that he wants in his own life, it chips away at that facade he’s put up, the lie he’s living. Good adaptation.

The only thing is I suspect that their first kiss or O Helga Natt is probably going to go heavily like that storyboard, if not exactly, which will likely be beautiful, but again, slightly on the nose for me. To be fair, obviously Isak and Even’s first kiss imitated Romeo + Juliet closely; I guess this being Eliott’s own creation/vision vs Even’s fanboying a film by his favorite director makes it a little more OTT, like if a scene from a novel I’d written came into my life, I’d feel weird and self-conscious about it. But that’s just me! I can also see why it’d matter to Eliott, to take this longing and make it a reality. But I think I’d rather just see him make his actual film, accomplish his passion project, than to recreate it in his own life. Maybe because, filming a beautiful love story and falling in love in real life fulfill two different parts of one’s self - one’s artistic creations are not substitutes for one’s social connections and vice versa - and Eliott’s unfunded film is a thing on its own that’s very poignant and begs to be carried to completion. Does that make sense? IDK, I’d like those big scenes to have similar themes and imagery but not like his storyboard come exactly to life. We’ll see how it goes.

I think it’s a little murky why Lucas searches for the “gay chat” - like is he trying to find Eliott there, or is he looking for any type of connection? Think it’s the former since that was shown more explicitly with Isak, but I guess you can say he’s just testing the gay waters.

The gay app that Lucas downloads features the picture of Skam France director David Hourrègue, much like Skam Italia had their male director in the gay app. (The directors look a tad similar, or is that just me?)

Lucas looks through pictures mainly of disembodied abs and bulges, until he stumbles upon Mika’s picture, and HA, that’s a REALLY good gag, hats off to Skam France. I remember being annoyed because they recreated the Jonas cunnilingus walk of fame in their season 2, except with none of the build-up that made the Jonas scene funny and emotionally resonant (with Eva’s reaction), so it lacked the impact and was just kinda there. This actually had some setup, good job.

Clip 5 - Two bros chillin’ at a bus stop

The boys are getting ready to go to Chloé’s party later and Basile starts talking about how he’ll get with Maria and I’m already so over this, please God let them talk about anything else. I get that this girl talk is establishing the overwhelming heteronormativity and pressure to pursue girls among these teenage boys, but like, let’s hear from Arthur about his hookup techniques, or if there’s a girl Yann likes, anything but Basile being a creep yet again.

He talks about calling himself “Daddy” to Maria as if I wasn’t already thoroughly horrified out by him. FUCK no.

And the guys are like, I thought you were all up in Daphne’s business? Basile basically doesn’t care, one girl or the other will do, ughhhh GODDDDD.

They tell Lucas that he’s paying for the beer because they’ve taken their turns paying. Lucas waits at the bus stop, texts his dad for rent and grocery money, then texts Mika for money (presumably to buy the beer). MEANWHILE, a figure in a familiar brown coat sits down. I can’t quite tell from the angle, is he sitting in the next seat or is there still one between them? You’d think Eliott would learn from the past not to leave space for any Chloés who might come along. (At the end of the clip I still couldn’t tell, lmao. Feel free to clarify if you have better spatial awareness than I do.)

It’s Lucas’ turn to get startled by a dude just staring at him intensely. They have some banter, Mika texts back that he’s working, Eliott notices something is up, Lucas explains that he has no money to buy beer for a party, so it’s Eliott’s suggestion to come back to his place and get the beer he has. Not Lucas asking him for help, like Isak did. Lucas has seemed somewhat more forthright in pursuing Eliott so this is a bit of a surprise, because a noticeable example of Isak asking Even for something was switched to Eliott offering. I guess you could say it’s Eliott’s development, if he’s the one in the dark and is holding himself back? We’ll see.

Clip 6 - Eliott confirmed weirdo

They go to Eliott’s place and Lucas checks out Eliott’s drawings. They’re cute. Dude really loves raccoons. They look at the drawings together and Eliott says they’re old and that he’s better at drawing himself now. Lucas is like … that’s you? LMAO, Eliott is so fucking weird, I kind of love him. He likes that raccoons have a mask. Well, we know Eliott has his own mask, so it’s fitting, I suppose.

Okay, French fans, I have to ask - what are the perceptions of raccoons in your culture? I found this article saying that the raccoon was introduced to France in 1966 and is considered a pest. They’re considered pests in North America, too, and spread disease, and sometimes they fall through ceilings, but like ... they’ve always been here, so there’s something about them that’s normalized, I guess?

Lucas asks if Eliott had to draw him what would it be. Well, that’s fucking forward. Eliott studies him and says he doesn’t know. So Eliott basically can’t figure out Lucas yet. What are the odds his later notes to Lucas will include his and Lucas’ fursonas? I know all Isaks are snakes but Lucas reminds me of a woodpecker, personally.

Or maybe they will both be raccoons for the sole reason that I want to start calling Lucas Little King Trashmouth.

MISSED OPPORTUNITY for Lucas to say “draw me like one of your French girls” or something along those lines, though.

Clip 7 - What ... the fuck ...

Lucas and Eliott smoke and talk. While Eliott gets up to change the music, Lucas checks his phone and he’s got messages from Chloé waiting for him.

Lucas blames his absence on the other guys lacking motivation and THAT is the least believable excuse I have heard in my fucking life, come on, Lucas. As if those dudes aren’t panting after those girls. Did you even meet Basile? If you talk to him for ten seconds you’ll already know the names of five girls he wants to fuck.

And of course he types this as Yann is trying to get in touch with him about the party, very much motivated to go.

One of these days an Isak just needs to lie in a plausible way. “Sorry I’m sick, I think I have food poisoning, I’ve been shitting my guts out for the last hour.” If you overshare and make it disgusting, they’re not going to question you further AND Chloé will probably back off and stop chasing you.

Lucas guesses that Eliott will be putting on some Chopin or Dad Jazz because the turntable makes him seem like a vintage collector but ACTUALLY Eliott is one weird motherfucker and I have to say, not even Even would pull this stunt this soon in their relationship, because what he puts on is dubstep and Eliott starts banging his head and jumping around in a completely unashamed way, and like, even Lucas in all his infatuation with this guy cannot help but stare at him like “what the fuck is going on.”

When Eliott asks about it Lucas responds, “....it’s cool!” in the same way I do when an older relative asks me what I think of The Big Bang Theory or the Minions.

Eliott asks Lucas about his tastes and Lucas is more into rock, like very famous bands, Nirvana, Rolling Stones, Beatles, The Clash. Eliott offers to put on Queen and luckily for the music licensing department Lucas is like, no, I like discovering new things. By which he means “I like discovering new boys.”

Eliott blows a perfect ring of smoke so we know he has more smoke skills than Lucas, going off Lucas’ messy shotgunning in episode 1, and then Lucas also starts to rock out to the music and I’m kinda feeling secondhand embarrassment but also, I guess this means they’re meant for each other?

Clip 8 - Piano man

They’re both sitting there stoned as fuck, Eliott doesn’t want to get up to change the record, so Lucas gets up and puts the record to the side. But instead of selecting a new one, he lifts the lid the piano and asks Eliott if he plays. Eliott says he can play the Star Wars theme - so he has Star Wars fanboying in common with Even, heh.

Lucas then sits down and starts to play perhaps too well for someone who’s probably pretty stoned by now (but I’ve never tried so who knows) and Eliott sits up. We get him smiling at Lucas, eyes shining. At one point Lucas looks behind him and seems to get encouraged by Eliott’s enchanted reaction.

Mmmm ... unpopular opinion, but while this is a really lovely scene, I kiiiinda wish they’d taken it down a notch or put the focus more on Lucas? Because there’s like ... not really any ambiguity about what Eliott feels after this, with his enamored stare at Lucas, and I think in context of the larger story, it takes a little tension out. I think with Even, the attraction was conveyed more in small looks and glances, and while I definitely thought he was always into Isak, from Isak’s POV you could see how the arrival of Sonja threw that into doubt, there was room to question whether Even really had feelings for Isak. Whereas here it’s like ... girlfriend or not, Eliott is smitten with Lucas, I don’t really feel that the ending reveal carries as much weight. I guess I’d put more focus on Lucas’ expressions as he plays, showing him getting into it and letting himself put down his emotional walls and express himself, showing him more open here with Eliott than he’s been so far anywhere else - this is his POV season, after all - and cut back on Eliott’s reactions to preserve a little mystery.

What I think is good about this moment is that Eliott got to share a part of himself, with his drawings (and his questionable taste in music), and unbeknownst to him his Polaris project, and now Lucas gets to share a part of himself with his piano playing, and so they’ve both let each other in to their artistic sides, perhaps establishing them both as creative types. It’s cool that we both see their respective interests. They might even complement each other’s, like Lucas’ music might end up serving Eliott’s vision for his film or something. And this was obviously a turning point for Eliott, he may have noticed Lucas on the first point of school but this is what took his interest in Lucas to another level as he saw Lucas just unleash this piano piece, catching him off guard with something beautiful.

When Lucas is done, Eliott says it was impressive, and that Lucas is surprising, and he likes surprising people. Well they’re just being blatant as fuck, aren’t they.

Unfortunately, the night must end as Eliott has people to meet and Lucas has a party to endure. Eliott walks Lucas out and says it was great, they need to hang out again, Lucas agrees. I like this moment a lot because it is somewhat more ambiguous - like on the surface this could be a platonic conversation, just wanting to hang out as friends, but there’s just a little too much intensity, a bit too much of a pause in the delivery, to think this exchange is so casual.

Just as Lucas is going Eliott adjusts his hair? I don’t even know what he was doing because I do not notice a single change in Lucas’ hairdo but Eliott sure did it as a memorable parting gesture. Lucas is internally screaming, probably.

Lucas goes out the door and outside he checks his phone, of course Chloé is pissed, Yann asks why Lucas is lying, Chloé has been posting “men are trash” messages on IG. I repeat: just tell them that you have unstoppable explosive diarrhea and people won’t be so quick to judge.

Behind him, Eliott leaves his place and Lucas sees him greet a girl with a kiss. OK now that is actually a pretty big change because Eliott does not know that Lucas saw him with a girlfriend and like, I always thought Even was overcompensating with Sonja when he started to compliment her and make out with her, but Eliott was just casually greeting his girlfriend with a kiss, without knowing Lucas was there. He’s not going to know Lucas knows about his girlfriend the next time they meet. If Lucas is irritated with him, he’s going to be like WTF.

There’s piano music at the end, and with its inclusion in the clip itself, I’m thinking they’re going to use a lot of piano on the soundtrack this season. They already did it in episode one.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas apparently ran away from Chloé at the bus stop, heh. She texted him to “subtly” see if he wanted to hang out and insinuated that she wanted to swing by Lucas’ flat some time. Or not subtly. Nothing about her is subtle. She’s wearing a sign that says BANG ME LUCAS.

Lol, as I mentioned above, Emma was hanging out with Raptor Alex and posting pics and stories on IG, I don’t know why they’re surprised people might think they’re an item after they also just hooked up at a party. Like not necessarily together-4ever but it’s not an unreasonable assumption they have a ~thing.

Lucas and Imane laugh over the tampon thing via text later, it’s a sweet moment. I wonder how they’re going to play the religion discussions since the two are already warming up to each other, Lucas being like, “Why are you religious?” in a confrontational way would kill the vibe.

Manon was supposed to see The Book of Mormon with Charles, then later she posted “Night in after all.” Dramaaaaa. Manon, fuck Charles and go by yourself. If some dude bailed on me that night I’d be like, whatever asshole, we paid to see these singing Mormons and I am going to goddamn see some singing Mormons. (Also, lmao at her dramatically posting that publicly, talk about a passive-aggressive swipe at Charles.)

Let’s talk about Basile, goddamn Basile, because he is by far my biggest issue with the season so far. Everything else is pretty solid, any other quibbles I have pale to my rapidly developing kneejerk GTFO when he appears on screen.

Some of the issue is that this dude is so one-note and in a really intense way, like you know when you’re a toddler and your parent hands you a pot to bang on and you hit it with a wooden spoon over and over? That’s Basile. There’s also just the element of overexposure. He tends to take over the boy squad scenes just because he wants to get laid. It feels like we’ve already had as much of Basile thirsting after Daphne and Maria in two episodes as we did Magnus crushing on Vilde spread over the whole season.

You might say Magnus was similarly desperate to hook up with a girl, and that’s true of course. And look, Magnus isn’t perfect and he said some dumbass shit during the season, but at the same time, there was a kind of weird innocence to him? Even when Vilde is complaining about the first year girls taking the older guys, and he says he’s available to fuck if she wants, it’s an outrageous statement but the way it’s played has a bizarre purity to it, like hey, this girl thinks there won’t be anyone for her to fuck, I should offer! With Basile there’s more sleaziness to his behavior, like dude has been on Reddit too long and has read too many forums about embittered men seeking to get laid.

I think some of it also is that a lot of Magnus was not actively and aggressively pursuing specific girls and bothering them for the most part - after that first offer to fuck Vilde, we don’t see him nagging her or crossing her boundaries, from what I recall? The flirtation gets mutual. He mentions stuff like the Vilde sex dream to the guys but it’s not like he’s telling that to her. With Basile he’s directly going after Daphne in a very persistent way.

One way they could redeem Basile is have his behavior act as a criticism of toxic straight boy bullshit, to go along with the heteronormative pressure. We still have a bunch of episodes to go so perhaps Basile will have character growth.

One thing I didn’t care for was them breaking up the Friday clip into multiple parts and airing them one after the other. I suspected that it was due to time restrictions and I was right, according to the screenwriter on IG. It’s too bad because I think it interrupts the flow of the story. With Skam, we got to see Isak himself change over the course of the afternoon - he went from shy and reserved to opening up and being able to laugh and joke around with Even, and the fact that it’s all one clip makes it more noticeable. The length makes it feel like the lazy afternoon Isak and Even spent getting to know each other. Not Skam France’s fault they had to break it up, just a shame because it felt choppier - watching it clip by clip meant I kept going back to what I was doing in real life and losing the mood instead of sinking into it. But I appreciate what they were trying to do when they couldn’t have a long scene and I think the ways they cut the scene were probably the best places to end/start the clips, tone-wise.

On that note, I’m trying to avoid the BTS commentary but I ended up reading it when I saw the reaction to the Skam France writer’s thoughts on Isak. I get what the guy was going for, Isak was more reserved and shy than Lucas is and Even was doing a lot of the initiating, although yeah, I think his description was worded in an oversimplified way - I don’t think Isak was entirely naive and innocent, more like inexperienced (which is a different thing) and he was certainly the hero of his own story, he was brave. Just because he wasn’t as outgoing doesn’t mean he wasn’t taking control of his own story - I’d say that’s part of what makes his character development so powerful, that because he is more repressed, his choices to kiss Even, to come out to his friends, to learn to be himself, have even more impact. But I don’t think Niels meant to bash Isak or anything, and it’s very clear from his notes that he loves and respects the original season. I think his main point was just like “Lucas is more upfront in his actions,” lol.

Though on a related note, the experience of watching the remakes has made me think that a lot of people don’t get who Isak is as a character, and especially have some extremely bad faith and unsympathetic readings of him. But that’s a rant for another time.

Tbh I think the behind-the-scenes notes about production stuff like “Axel wasn’t a trained pianist but he practiced hard for this scene” is fine and fun, it’s more the stuff that’s like “Here’s the interpretation of the scene itself” that I wish would wait until the season ends. But lmao, I’m just gonna try to avoid that stuff again.

I actually did like this episode. I’m not sure Skam France is ever going to be my favorite remake, because there’s something about the way it’s filmed that feels more slick and well, TV-like than is my preference, but I can definitely see that they’ve upgraded from last season, and that they’re trying hard to give this story its own spin. The Polaris symbolism is the biggest sign of that so far.

If there’s something I do wish we could get more of with Skam France, it’s subtlety? As a show it often feels more dramatic and this episode leaned heavier on the blatant romance, which might be a cultural thing, and I can absolutely get why people are more drawn to that. There’s plenty of TV shows and movies that I like that are not subtle in the slightest. I guess I’ve just been thinking that I wish the remakes would not be afraid to rely more on subtext for parts of this season, especially building up this relationship. Like there’s nothing blatantly “romantic” about the Evak version of this clip - everything is heavily show don’t tell, and we have to read into the littlest moments, the shared glances. How Even smiles to himself for just a brief moment after Isak compliments his drawings, or how Isak gets flustered after Even teases him for not knowing who Nas is (because he wants Even to think he’s cool) and how Even says that they’ll listen to Nas later - the implication that Isak is going to stay a while and Even will share this with him. “We can’t go back now” is in relationship to the cheese toasties, except you know, it’s not really about the cheese toasties. With Lucas and Eliott, it’s really easy to pick out that Eliott is flirting when he’s flat-out telling Lucas how special he is and how he’s intrigued by him, and sure, that’s where they’re going with Eliott’s character and making him more direct but it’s also related to the overall method and effectiveness of the storytelling. (I mean ... having Eliott be like “You are this-and-that, Lucas” is the definition of telling, not showing, lol.) And I completely get why that works for a lot of people, it doesn’t NOT work for me, but the understated stuff is what makes me watch clips a dozen times to pick up on it all, the subtext is what gets under my skin. My favorite moment was their goodbye at the door because it was a typical friendly exchange on the surface but with more going unspoken, and I felt that on the screen. So not to whine, because I did legitimately enjoy the Lucas/Eliott interaction, those are just my preferences. (The show is not made for me personally etc etc., cultural differences etc etc. I’m aware.)

I am finally warming up to Lucas, after two seasons. I really don’t think that I didn’t care for him before just because his character was closed off and snaky, because I’ve liked every other Isak in the first season of their show even though they’ve also kept secrets and done shady shit. I think they’ve just found a way to portray his character more effectively after having to copy + paste S1 and S2. They can make the character feel more organic. Also, not gonna lie, it felt like they cut back on the serial killer looks (partially because Lucas has more smiley and relaxed moments) so A+ work, Axel.

Also, knowing that they had to redo the first two seasons so closely doesn’t really change my opinion of the quality of the first two seasons, but it does make me more sympathetic toward the cast and crew for having to color inside the lines, so to speak.

Eliott is a fucking weird ass human being and I’m really feeling his character. They made his absurdly good looks more approachable by turning him into a dubstep-stanning furry, and I am here for whatever shit they tell us about him next.

I also think think the use of music was much better than in previous seasons. There were some very deliberate choices in this episode, obviously, but it felt like they’re learning to use silence more effectively and not shoehorning the soundtrack as much.

Feel free to chime in or correct me about French culture/translation/other issues.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamfr reactions #skam france reactions

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sunnybugz · 6 years

Text

only fools

chapter: i

word count: 2115

authors note: hi losers, welcome to the first chapter of my new fanfic, it’s dianetti because i am dianetti trash. it’s also a highschool au because i am a teenager and do not know how the real word works. hope u like it!!! i will be posting it on ao3 once my account request finally comes back (by the end of this week!!) lets get to it i guess???

11:38 AM, Brooklyn Academy High cafeteria

Rosa sat at their lunch table, eating her sandwich. By their, she meant her the table that had belonged to her and her best friends since ninth grade. Her best friends being Jake Peralta, Amy Santiago, Charles Boyle, and of course, the one and only Gina Linetti. They were all so amazingly different yet fit together so well. Jake was the dark-haired, brown-eyed, absolutely hilarious (and absolutely childish at times) boy sitting at the top right of their table. He was a total idiot a lot of the time, but was amazing at solving puzzles and problems. He also had an intense love for Die Hard and drinks that were the colour blue. Amy, however, was the beautiful, smart and organized Cuban girl sitting across from Rosa. She was so put together all the time, but was also really goofy and cute when not under watch from everyone else. Her favourite things in the world were probably binders, essays, and her boyfriend, Jake. Charles was the brown-haired, clumsy, goofball who sat beside Amy. He was a total dork who was far too obsessed with his friends relationships, but was truly the most kind and caring person any of them have met in their entire life. He loved to cook too, and often brought some weird food that he made the night before for all of them to try (which often ended terribly, but they were thankful for the effort). And then there was Gina Linetti. Gina was gorgeous, with auburn hair and blue eyes, and she was a lot shorter than Rosa. She was silly and sarcastic and treated herself like she was the queen of the world (which she basically was in Rosa’s eyes). She also cared about her friends more than anything in the world (other than maybe her phone).

The group hadn’t always been as close as they were now though. Jake and Gina had been best friends probably since birth, because their families were super close. Charles and Jake became best friends in the third grade after being assigned desk partners and realizing they were an amazing team when it came to cheating on spelling tests. Amy had come along in seventh grade, when she moved to their area and became part of their class. Rosa joined the gang in the middle of grade eight, when she was new at their school and Gina was the only one who would actually come up to her despite her scary exterior. From then on, they had been a power team, and probably one of the closest, drama free friend groups in their entire high school. They supported each other through everything (even in tenth grade when Amy made the idiotic decision to date Teddy Wells, and to get over his enormous crush on her, Jake dated Sophia Perez. They realized it was stupid and started dating within a few months). It was nice to just have people who genuinely loved Rosa for who she was, even if that person was an angry, bisexual, all-black-wearing, eighteen year old girl.

It was in that moment when Rosa realized she had been spacing out for the past 45 seconds.

“Hello? I know my girlfriend is hot but there’s no need to stare,” Jake teases while throwing a french fry at Rosa’s head. She rolls her eyes and throws it back.

“Yeah, Rosa, I’m totally the one you should be staring at right now, I mean, look at me!” Gina joins in. At this one, unlike Jake’s teasing, Rosa feels her face heat up. If she had been consciously staring, it definitely would have been at Gina. Of course, she would never say that out loud. Nobody could ever know about her top-secret crush on the auburn haired dancer. Except unknown to Rosa, literally everyone knew except for Gina. Jake and Amy had placed a $20 bet on whether Rosa would ask her out by Valentine’s day. Jake thought Rosa totally would, because she’s been obsessed with her since like, eighth grade, but Amy thought that if Rosa still hasn’t made a move after four and a half years, what would all of a sudden compel her to do so? Charles would always ‘accidentally’ make situations where the two of them ended up alone, but instead of ending up with them confessing their undying love for each other and then promptly making out like everyone hoped it would, it would always end with Rosa stumbling over her words when Gina did or said something cute (re: every five seconds). Rosa thought she was an amazing secret keeper, but it turns out Gina was just oblivious to the rest of the world when she wasn’t being mentioned.

Before Rosa could answer, the bell rang. Everyone quickly got up to race to their next class. “Want me to walk you to class?” asked Gina.

“Gina, it’s English. We’re in the same class. We literally sit beside each other.” Rosa said.

“Fine! I guess I’ll walk alone!” Gina said dramatically. Rosa smiled a huge, dorky smile that she didn’t do for anyone other than Gina.

“I never said I wanted that,” Rosa laughed. Gina turned back to her, smiling her cute smile that Rosa saw in her dreams every night without fail.

“Proven again, Gina Linetti is absolutely irresistible to the ladies!”, Gina said far too loudly.

She isn’t wrong, though, Rosa thought.

2:34 PM, Brooklyn Academy High

The rest of the school day goes by quite uneventfully. Everyone is anticipating the end of the day, when casting in the spring musical comes out. Their schools musicals are written every year by an ex-student at their school, Terry Jeffords. They’ve always been love stories, and Jake and Amy have respectively played the lead male and female every year without fail. This year though, that won’t happen. Mainly because it’s a musical about homophobia, and if Jake and Amy were playing lesbians, the school would have a lot of issues to figure out. However, there is a specific someone who also auditioned for the girlfriend of the character Rosa auditioned for. Rosa auditioned to play Lola, the female lead, a lesbian who has recently come out at her Catholic school and is threatened with expulsion, and Gina auditioned for the role of June, Lola’s girlfriend who is yet to come out. However, Rosa doesn’t think she could ever get the part. Gina will almost 100% get June, but there was a bunch of girls going for the part of Lola. Not as many as there usually are for the lead role (most girls weren’t up to playing a lesbian), but still a fair amount.

When 2:40 finally comes, any drama kid races to the auditorium. They all sit in chairs, Rosa snagging a spot between Gina, who has decided to live stream the casting, and Amy, who is holding Jake’s hand tightly. They’re all on the edge of their seats waiting for Director Holt to come in and read the casting list. When he finally walks in at 2:46, the room goes silent.

“I know you’ve all been waiting for a week and a half since auditions, and I apologize for leaving you all to wonder. However, I now have the casting list, and I’m sure you would all like to hear it.” he says. Yes! Of course they want to hear it!

“I will be reading out the main cast. As you all know, any person not given a main role will be given a role as an extra,” Holt says. Rosa prays that isn’t referring to her. She’s never been an extra, but from the sounds of it, it absolutely sucks. “First off, playing the role of Madam Wringer, the headmistress, will be Sophia Perez,” he reads. First announcement is quite awkward, as this means Jake will most likely have his ex-girlfriend as his co-star.

“The role of Lola’s brother, Henry, will be played by Charles Boyle,”. Yay for Charles! It’s no surprise he got the role, he’s a great actor and is good for both dramatic scenes and comedic relief.

“The role of Lola’s father will be played by none other than Jake Peralta,” reads Director Holt. No surprise there, Jake got the leading male.

“Lola’s mother will be played by Amy Santiago.”. Amy and Jake look at each other with heart eyes. Of course they’re playing a married couple.

“Finally, we’re onto our two leading lady roles. June, the girlfriend will be played by Gina Linetti, and finally, Lola will be played by Rosa Diaz.”

Gina turns to Rosa with her phone. “Babe, we’re girlfriends!”. Rosa freezes for a second before smiling hugely. She tries not to make it obvious the effect that the little pet name has on her, and if Gina notices, she doesn’t say anything.

Rosa is also in shock because she got the female lead! She’s never been the lead, as Amy has always scored the role. Gina ends her live stream with a “Bye, losers!”, and turns back to the group. “I say this calls for celebratory pizza!”. The group cheers, and all feel even happier knowing that they get to go to Sal’s pizza afterwords.

“Our first read through will be tomorrow after school, and we will be rehearsing daily. I expect us to start blocking soon, so you all must practice as often as you can,” Holt says. “I expect no nonsense with this production. You are all experienced actors, and you all know how a play works. Read over your scripts tonight!”. Once they all have their scripts, everyone heads out the door.

“Rosa, how does it feel to get the privilege of playing the love interest of someone as wonderful as me? I’ve never had the experience, please describe in detail.” Gina says, smirking. Rosa shakes her head and smiles.

“It’s wonderful Gina, but I think with the amount of love you have for yourself you wouldn’t have to ask,” Rosa retorts.

“It’s called confidence, bitch! Look it up!” Gina jokes, hitting Rosa lightly on the back of her head.

“Ooh, two lovebirds having a quarrel! Who will win, or will it end in a kiss?” Charles says. The two of them roll their eyes.

“We aren’t lovebirds, Charles! We aren’t even likebirds! We’re just… friendbirds! That’s right, they’re a real thing! You’ve just never heard of them!” Rosa defends.

“Yeah, Charles! Also, Rosa, I truly care about you but if you call me a bird again, I will not hesitate to throw you in front of a bus. I’m clearly a wolf.” Gina says. Rosa rolls her eyes.

“Okay, stop flirting, I want pizza!” Jake complains. Amy lets out a breathy laugh while shaking her head.

“We aren’t flirting!”, Gina and Rosa say in unison.

8:19 PM, Rosa Diaz’s Bedroom

Rosa is looking over her script for the first time, while lying in bed. She’s changed out of her black jeans, navy blue t-shirt, and leather jacket, and now wears flannel pyjama pants and a black tank top. She’s about halfway through the script, when she sees a line that catches her eye.

LOLA AND JUNE SHARE A SOFT, LOVING KISS

Rosa re-reads the line about five times to see if it’s right. Lo and behold, the line remains the same. Rosa feels giddy with nerves. She’s going to kiss Gina Linetti. For a play, but that means nothing to her. She doesn’t care what she’s doing it for, as long as she is kissing that girl. Rosa giggles - actually giggles- at the thought. Just then, she gets a text from Jake.

Jake: haha looks like sum1’s wishes are coming tru ;)

Rosa: shut up, jake. i’m totally not into her that way.

(Rosa is definitely into her that way)

Jake: okayyyy sure. explain y u look at her the way u do.

Rosa: how do i look at her?

Jake: like ur in loveeeee

Rosa: ugh, i am NOT in love. she’s just hot, ok??? i'm not one of those lovey-dovey freaks like u and amy

Jake: that’s what i said before i dated amy but ok

Rosa: no, u literally said ‘i would marry amy santiago without hesitation, whether that’s at a huge mansion or in an actual dumpster’

Jake: welp, u got me there.

Rosa rolls her eyes and shuts her phone off. She doesn’t have to tell people about her personal feelings. Emotions were gross, in her opinion. Unless they were emotions about Gina, which were absolutely amazing. However, those were secret feelings. Nobody is supposed to know about that.

That night, Rosa has some very good dreams about Gina Linetti.

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geekygoddesss · 7 years

Text

“You’re so silly, I love you”

Requested by @teenageguitarist

Based on one of my favorite scenes from my favorite show, Friends.

Everyone knew that Mondays were boring as fuck, it was no secret, they came after everyone’s praised weekend and somehow this day always seemed like the longest day ever. But not today. It was indeed Monday, but not only that, it was the day my boyfriend and his band were releasing their last album and that deserved a celebration.

It obviously had to happen at Ashton’s place, with happened to be right beside ours and it was a little bigger than our place, plus, out of everyone in the band, he was the one that was more excited for this new record, he poured his heart out on this, throwing out a party almost felt like a necessity.

It was fun. We drank, we danced, we laughed. Just like a good party should be, so naturally, after a good few hours of a full house of people drinking and messing around, people started leaving, it was the start of the week and a lot of them have things to do the next day, it’s totally fine, we only got left with the same old group of friends, the ones that would be around no matter what and the ones we could always count on for a good laugh. It felt like home to have them here.

We were currently sitting on Ashton’s living room, I was comfortably leaning on Calum’s embrace, while everyone else was sitting around in a circle, the lights were low around us and there was music in the background playing so softly. I was holding back a laugh from seeing our friend Mitchy prank calling some guy who worked with him, telling him something about winning a new X box or something like that. Lame joke, but I found it really funny.

He ended up hanging up the call after five minutes of keeping it up, we moved on our little truth or dare game, something kind of childish to do, but always really fun.

“Okay, so (Y/n), truth or dare?” Mitchy points at me since it was his turn to pick someone.

“Truth” I answer lazily, I was starting to grow a little tired, since it was already almost 3 in the morning and I barely slept before. I was not totally in the mood for dares.

“Boring” someone calls out to me, I don’t even see who it was.

“Hey” Calum says frowning a little and rubbing on my arm.

Mitchy seems to really think about it, there are not many things that you can ask in truth or dare, let’s be real, in this dumb games if you weren’t creative enough you would end up asking the same old questions everyone always asked. That is exactly what he didn’t do “Tell us about something you did years ago and you haven’t told anyone about” he says in a daring tone. I was really not expecting that.

“Woah, that’s very specific” I hear Michael say from the other side of the room.

“Yeah, where’s that coming from?” I ask him with a frown, it was such a weird question.

“She chose truth, I literally can’t think of anything else to ask” he excused himself.

“You don’t have to answer” Calum whispers in my ear before kissing my head.

I think about it for a second, yes I technically don’t have to answer such a thing if I don’t want to and take a dare instead, but there’s something I need to say, maybe this is the time now that he brought this up. Nothing too harmful I guess, it’s just something that happened, I’ve been keeping this for myself for a while, we were all friends here, there’s no harm in saying it now.

“No, it’s fine” I smile up to Calum and move a little, sitting straight by his side “Well, Okay” I sigh, really thinking on what I was about to say, but there was no turning back now “Do you remember that time when we were in Australia and I was just starting to work with you?” I ask him.

“Yeah?” He nods with a confused look “Before we were dating?” He asks me.

“Yes” I nod. My hands were shaking a little.

I give a deep sigh and close my eyes. I start talking.

I remember that day clearly because it was fucking scary. I was 18, maybe 19 at that time, the truth is I don’t remember but I was young.

I was just starting my job as a general assistant for the band’s team, I would help anyone with what they needed, no matter what it was. It was my second, maybe third week working on this and to be honest, I was having such a blast, I loved my job.

I remember to be helping the merch guy to load up the little stores around the venues. There tons of boxes around and we needed to put every single one of them in place before show time, I was not the only helping on this. My boss, Mark came up to me that day, catching me just walking through the doors that lead backstage and just getting to the store closer to the stage.

“(Y/n), are you busy right now?” He asked me with a friendly smile when he saw me.

“Em, no, not really” I lie, putting the box down on the store counter, If I could do something better than carrying boxes I would take that chance, I wasn’t in total shape and I hated carrying heavy things “I was just helping Gary with all these” I say pointing at the heavy box beside me.

“Okay cool” he nods and gives a step closer “I need you to do something for me” he says and pulls a phone from his pocket “See this?” “Yep” I nod.

“It’s Ella’s phone” he explained, I knew Ella, she was the one that always helped with all the photography stuff, she’s nice “She has some footage in there, recordings, everything, even those edited tour diary videos” he explains “Just put it all of it on your laptop, save it, and send it to me” he Instructs me, handing me the phone quickly and stepping back to do whatever he had to do “Uh, also make sure to find the clue images to post on twitter and program it to be posted in an hour or so” he adds up, walking away.

“You got it” I say loud enough so he could hear me.

“Thanks, Kiddo” “Anytime!” I call back, walking to a whole different way than I was before.

I remember how quickly I got to the green room, which was the room right beside the catering. I grabbed my laptop and turn it on, taking my USB cable to plug the phone into the computer. It was such a weird moment, there was exactly what Mark said there was, footage, videos of the guys, pictures, but right beside one of the clues pictures I had to post on twitter, there’s was a really low-quality video showing on screen, it looked like a screen recording from the camera of another phone or this phone.

Out of pure curiosity, I click on the video, it’s my computer, after all, no one would find out. It started as a weird video (indeed a screen recording) of a boy that not only didn’t showed his face but showing off his body from the neck down. It was such a short video, around 10 seconds, but it was clear, the boy in the video took the hem of his pants and pulled it down, showing off his boner in a very clear picture before the image went back to an app main menu.

“Oh, what the hell?” I sighed with a big frown. what the actual hell?. I play the video one more time, trying to take a guess on who was the person in it, but it doesn’t take me long to find out, because I recognized that big tattoo on his arm, that big bird in black ink was really ringing a bell, that boy was Calum “Oh my god” I almost wanted to exclaim my cheeks getting redder and redder “Bitch” I groan, playing the video one more time, there was a laugh at the end. Ella’s laugh, what a fucking bitch. She recorded Calum’s dick. Bitch.

I try to take my mind off what I just saw as I do the exact thing that my boss told me to do, I sent him the videos, post things he told me to, but somehow I found myself looking at that video again, who the hell would do something like this and save it up along with videos of the band that was to be public, Obviously someone who’s brain was as big as a peanut or smaller than ant. I don’t know what I should but I was definitely going to delete that video.

I click on the video image on the screen and click again, showing all of the options that I could do to this footage, I was just about to delete it, but I hear my name being called once and then again, I look up and click the option without looking to then immediately shut my computer down.

“(Y/n)?” I hear a voice call me again and enter the room. Speaking of the devil. “Yeah?” I say with a very fake smile “Oh hi, Calum” I say putting my computer aside. He smiles back to me “Hey, I thought I heard you here” he says walking into the room towards the mini bar “What are you up to?” I hesitate a little to answer “I’m just here” I shrug “hanging out” “Oh” he nods talking out a water bottle and opening it up “Listen, I still have like an hour or two before I have to go on stage, I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, join me and go for coffee or something?” he says smiling and taking a sip of his water, he already looked ready to go for stage and he was now asking me out.

Isn’t he dating, Ella? “What?” I say for myself, but I snap out of my temporary trance before he thought I was crazy or something “I mean, Yeah, I would love to” I smile at him, my blushed, that’s embarrassing. “Nice” he says with a very wide smile “should we go then?” he says pointing to the door. “Yeah, yeah, I Just- I need a second, I’m finishing something, I’ll be done in a minute” I say, almost sounding rushed and I was not lying, I still had to send Mark a couple of videos. “Okay” he nods “I’ll wait for you outside then” “Okay” I nod back, to then wait for him to leave the room.

I wait to open my laptop until I hear the door shutting, I am very quick, I open my computer and go to my previous job, sending in what needed to be sent in, but I notice something weird, the moment I go to my twitter profile sitting right beside my mail is literally blowing up, not in a bad way, I guess, I have like a thousand followers, I was not popular. I scroll down and see what’s happening.

I hit send, not delete. Fuck. I’m stupid. “Shit, shit, shit” I curse under my breath, my hands are shaking so bad that I barely knew what I was doing “No, don’t do this to me” I say going to my profile and immediately deleting that video. about 20 people have already liked this. then realisation came “I’m gonna lose my job” “(Y/n)?” I hear calum call me out and I just close my laptop.

“Coming” I call out and get up my sit, taking the phone with me and leaving my computer away “I’m ready, let’s go”

So, that was the day he first asked me out, along with the day I almost ruin his career. This is fucked up.

“You posted my nudes?” He said in a not very happy tone. I don’t blame him if it was me I would be mad too. “It was you?” I hear Luke ask in surprise. “I’m so sorry, okay?” I panic, getting up my seat “I didn’t mean to do that before I could delete it some people already had the video” I explain, but I could tell this was not getting any better “it was an accident” “People kept making fun of me for months” Calum says getting up his seat too and almost trying to control himself from yelling “The management team went hammed on me because of it, you know that, I was so dead nervous thinking you would think badly of me for that shit” He groaning “And I didn’t” I exclaim, almost like if that was the good side of the story “listen, Calum I’m so sorry” “Why didn’t you tell me this?” He shakes his head, he’s disappointed at me. I shrugged and look down “Because of I kind of ignored it” I mumble “I didn’t want you to freak out” “Well, I am freaking out now!” he exclaims at me and I flinch, I wasn’t scared, just surprised that he suddenly raised his voice, I didn’t like when he did that “I am so sorry baby” I say looking up at him and trying to hug him but he walks back, getting away from my hold. “Well a ‘sorry’ doesn’t cut it, I can’t believe you did that” he says shaking his head even more “Fuck this, I’m sorry, I’m gonna go” He says and with that, he just turns around to leave. “Calum” I walk towards me but he almost marches straight to the door. “Don’t follow me” he groans, to then walk out of his best friend’s house. I stand on my feet, not giving a single step towards him, he’s really mad at me and that was never good. So I decide to not push it for a little while and wait for him to cool down a least a little. I just hope he doesn’t break up with me over this. I really hope he didn’t. “Shit, (Y/n) I feel so bad, I’m sorry” Mitch’s says, clearly apologizing for doing that question in first place. “It’s okay” I say giving him a sad smile “I guess this had to be told someday, anyways” I shrug “I think I should go now” I say walking starting to walk out but before I could give a full step, Crystal, Michael’s girlfriend, grab my arm. “Do you want me to keep you company for a while?” She kindly offers. “No, thanks, Crys” I say with a shrug “I guess I’ll try to talk to him” I say and she nods at my answer “thanks for having us, Ashton” I wave my hand at me. “Anytime, good luck” he says with a kind smile. Good luck. That’s the best thing someone could tell me right now, cause I was fucking nervous. Walking home isn’t really a long way and I can tell Calum literally ran home because I don’t run into him on my way back. I left just a minute before he did, I should have at least see him enter the house, which I didn’t, however, the lights were on, he was clearly in there. I unlock the door with my keys and close the door behind me, I don’t even have to take a guess of where he Is because he always goes to the same place when he’s upset. The music studio. I walk to the door of his studio upstairs. It’s quiet inside, so I guess he’s just digesting what just happened, makes sense. I know twice and I hear his groan at the other side of the door. “Open up” I say softly. “Go away” “Calum, really, open up” I say grabbing the door knocker but the door is completely locked “I’m sorry okay? That happened years ago, let it go” I say as if that was going to make him be less mad at me. “How can I just let it go?” He exclaims and I flinch, he’s raising his voice again “You could have ruined my reputation” “I know,I’m sorry” I mumble and knock again “Just open up, talk to me” I beg but he ignores me. I ran out of words to say and I feel like I have no other way to Ale him happy again. But oh wait, there is one way, one really stupid and strange way of making him happy again. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I clear my voice for a second and prepare my voice for what I’m going to do. “(Y/n) says she’s sorry and she shouldn’t have done that” I say I’m a very high and awkward voice I only did when I was joking around with him “it was a big mistake and she won’t ever ever do that again” I hear him groan and little and walk to the door, opening it up and looking awkwardly at me “What are you doing?” He asks “She feels really bad for not telling you” I keep talking in that voice, I could see somehow it was making all of this a bit better. “Are you really imitating Tommy pickles to make me feel better?” He asks crossing his arms over his chest. “Well” I shrug, keeping my voice high pitched “a baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do” He tries to keep his face still but I can see his smile starting to crack and breaking up into a full-on laugh, it felt like music to my ears, just beautiful. “Did I do it?” I say in my normal voice with a big smile on my face. “Oh my god” he says in between laughs, looking at me like I was the greatest thing that ever made him laugh “you’re so silly, I love you” he says and I (literally) freeze. “What?” I ask, my face can’t help but smile. That was the best thing he has ever said. In all of these years we’ve been dating he’s never told me such a thing, it had nothing to do with me, it was just him, he wanted to be sure that he would say those three words to the right person and believed that saying it marked a very important phase in the relationship. I respected that, and hearing him say it to me felt special. “Nothing” he says, starting to freak out “I said you’re silly and then I just stopped talking” My hands are covering my face and then my mouth, I point at his chest and make him give a step back, his eyes were wide in surprise, he was totally weird out by this “You said you love me, I can’t believe this” “No, I didn’t” he denies “Yes, you did” “No, I didn’t” “You love me!” I exclaim in emotion, while he keeps freaking out. “No, I don’t” he freaks out “Stop it, Stop it, Stop it” he says running his hand through his hair and giving a step back. “You Stop it!” I laugh, my eyes were filling up with tears. “Oh my god, you love me” “Okay well, yeah! I do” he says in realizations to then look at me “Are you crying?” He says softly, walking to me. “I’m so happy” I cry, feeling him pull me into a hug “you finally said it” “I did” he said running my back softly “I’m sorry I freaked out” he apologizes “I’m sorry about the video” I said back, looking up at him. “It’s fine I guess” he shrugs “it happened a long time ago” “But I’m truly sorry about it” I apologize once again, crying into his chest. “I know” he says softly to then caress my hair “stop crying” he chuckles, caressing my head really softly. “I can’t” I laugh a little, I really couldn’t stop crying “Calum?” “Yeah” he mumbles in response. “I love you, too” I say and look up at him with my already red eyes. “I know” he says, kissing my forehead “I know” We stay quiet for a good while, embracing each other and feeling the warmth of the moment, it was definitely a weird night, but thankfully, it turned out better than what it could have been. All I needed to know here was that we now know how much we love each other, and that was more than enough. Well, that’s really all I need.

#calum hood imagines #Luke hemmings imagines #Ashton irwin imagines #michael clifford imagines #5sos preferences #5sos imagines #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer preferences #5sos #5 seconds of summer

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