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melancholydreadfuldream · 4 years

Text

seven devils dreaming

Fandom: Doctor Who

Summary: DW AU. You have a new assignment, to keep an eye on a man called John Smith. Easy, right? That’s until the truth is revealed behind who John Smith really is. The most dangerous man in the universe, the trickster of the world, the last of the Time Lord, the oncoming storm called the Doctor, trapped in a human state.

Pairing: Tenth Doctor x Reader

Warning: ooc, deception, mention of sex, a possibility of dark!doctor, obsessive behavior, mention of torture.

A/N: Honestly, this is also a nonsense of a fanfic indulging in the idea of dark!doctor. But I couldn’t write very well hence this will be a painful read. But I’m gonna post it anyway because I am evil.

Ugh, I was bored. I have been inactive ever since my last mission 2 month ago. I have been assigned for desk duty which is such a waste of my potential. I am one of the best actives in the Division where I work. And yet here I am sentenced into desk duty as punishment for punching the jerk-face that is my client during my last mission. In my defense, that jerk-face deserved it. That man was horrible and it was times like this I hated my job, to protect bad guy like him. Though in my line of work it was actually all about the pay day.

The base where I work is located in some alien planet with permission from the local. We got along with the local fairly well. The Division offered protection in exchange for the space we occupied for our headquarter.

The Division consists of both alien and human, we are all to work together to monitor the happening in the universe and sell information to those who seek it and depending on the clients, we are to step in to stop the chaos or cause it. We are no shadow proclamation or even time agency. In fact, the time agency hated us but still sometimes they also used our service.

Someone dropped a folder on my desk right in front of me.

“Look like you got your wish, (last name), you are off desk duty. That is your new mission.” Luke said. He is one of my co-worker in analysis section. He is not an active like me. In Division, we called our field agents an active.

I picked up the folder with excitement and frowned when I saw the contain. “Babysitting duty? Again? Why me? Can’t someone else do it?”

Luke is annoyed. “Would you prefer desk duty then?”

“I will take it.” I quickly said.

“Good. Because you don’t actually have a choice. The big guy upstairs ask for you specifically for this assignment.”

“The big guy did? Is this another punishment?” I asked in exasperation.

Luke shrugged. “Wasn’t that bad. You get to be undercover the duration required to keep an eye on that guy.”

I pulled the picture of my target. A handsome man called John Smith. “Is that a fake name?” I asked. The man in the picture is actually good looking, an eye candy, so maybe it won’t be so bad.

I read the detail regarding this John Smith. A human. A history teacher for a school in Beacon Hill, a small town on Earth. He also work as a librarian.

“Ugh, boring…” I complained. “What is interesting about him that someone pay us to keep an eyes for him?”

Luke shrugged. “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

“But this guy sounded boring. His lecture probably put his students to sleep.” I mocked. “Also, ‘keep an eye on him by inserting active on his daily life’. Please don’t tell me I have to be undercover as a teacher?”

“I felt bad for your students if that is the case…” Luke said in flat tone.

“Hey!” I yelled offended.

“You actually can pick how you are planning to insert yourself into his life.”

I grinned mischeviously. “I want a job where I get to kick bad guys in return for watching over that boring man.” I gasped dramatically. “A private investigator. I always wanted to be a PI.” I grinned. “(Name) (last name) PI.”

“Glad to see your finding amusement in this.” Luke said but his tone is anything but glad. “How are you meant to watch over him if you go after bad guys?”

I shrugged. “I will make it work.” I picked up the picture again. “I’m about to rock this guy world.” I said with a huge grin.

Had I known who John Smith really is, I would have refused the job. But I was set up.

&&&&

“The Doctor is indisposed. He won’t be causing us trouble. And I have employed actives to distract the human doctor.”

“Make sure it stay that way.”

&&&&

Inserting myself into John Smith’s routine is fairly easy. I ‘met’ him during his time working in the library. I was there for research. I introduced myself as a PI who just moved in town.

John is polite and awkward but very helpful in my research.

I thought it would be fun to be PI but considering I was in a small town, there is hardly any excitements here.

As a PI, mostly I got bored at my office which I rented on the second floor of a bar. The place is quite large so that’s where I stay for the night.

I didn’t stalk John all day because I didn’t want to catch attention of the people of town so I hang out in the bar and befriended the bartender. Small town, people like to gossip, so I have to be extra careful, newcomer tend to catch the town people’s eyes. At least, the bartender is cute and friendly, his name is Holden.

My first case is to find a missing cat much to my chagrin. The second case is slightly more intriguing, to investigate a husband affair.

In between, I always made sure to go to the library for my 'research’. I got to speak with John a few times now and he is hilariously awkward with women. Some women in Beacon Hills evidently find him eye-pleasing and love to flirt with him. After I saw how he dealt with them, I realized I can’t be outright flirting with him. He would just shot me down like he did the others.

Though, I supposed I have a better chance because John is definitely interested in me when I mentioned that I work as a PI.

He is curious why I moved into the small town of Beacon Hills and I said I needed a fresh start.

&&&&

John found me lurking around at the school where he teaches.

I told him I have a concerned parent as my client who want me to take a look at their son’s life, fearing he’s involved with the wrong sort of crowd.

John, as a teacher, is rightly concerned and offered to help especially when, surprise surprise, the boy in question is actually one of his student.

Well, I was supposed to keep an eye on him too so him volunteering to help is helping my case. Two birds one stone kind of thing. I was pleased with myself.

I found out I was wrong about John though. His lecture didn’t put his students to sleep. He has a funny way to make history interesting. And it does help that he is good looking so most of his female students are very attentive to listen to his lecture in hope to get a praise. He is very likable among his students. He is one of the students’ favorite teacher.

John discreetly pointed to the boy, Clarke, his name. I turned to watch over the boy and he did look too distracted. John is concerned and he wishes to talk to the boy. Of course, it didn’t end well. Teenagers. They want our attentions and they don’t want it too. I watched as Clarke get mad at John and left.

So I followed the boy, he is my job after all. I wanted to get paid so I have to report the case as soon as possible. I have some other boring clients I need to deal with too beside Clarke’s parents. The soonest I finish with all of them, the quickest I could establish my reputation as PI here and get accepted by the town. Then I can finally focus back on my primary mission, John.

Of course the son of the client ended up in trouble and I have to intervene. Though I ended up in jail for starting a fight with the local drug gang. The parents are right, Clarke did get into a mess with the gang and now they are blackmailing him. Once I found out what they have on Clarke, I politely asked them to hand over their blackmail material to me and they laughed in my face. So I violently asked with my fist instead.

The Sheriff glanced at me in displeasure as I stared back at him from behind the bars. I could tell he dislikes me already, probably think I’m trouble. Well, he’s not wrong.

John surprised me when he come to the police station to bail me out. He seemed on a good term with the Sheriff that the old man actually let me off the hook.

“Thanks, I owe you one.” I said as we got out of the police station.

“You didn’t owe me anything, Miss (Last Name). You are doing a good thing after all…for Clarke…”

“Yeah, just call me (Name). I didn’t do it for Clarke. I’m being paid by his parents, remember?” I dismissed his claim.

“Still, you saved him from the gang. I’m grateful for that.” John turned to glance at my face. “That look hurt.” He tentatively touches the bruises on my face.

I winced. "Should have seen the other guys…“ I said with a laugh.

“I really can’t say I’m approve with how you deal with the gang though…” he said in firm tone.

“Ah, you are one of those pacifist people, huh?” I rolled my eyes.

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far…but I do believe in less violence and more talking.”

“No wonder you are a teacher.”

“What’s wrong with being a teacher?”

I shrugged. “Nothing, I suppose. Well then, Mr Smith, thank you again for your help but I gotta go…”

“Call me John.”

I blinked and then shrugged with a small smile. “See you around, John.”

“See you soon, (Name)” He actually pick up one of my hands and kissed it like a gentleman from those classic movies. “Take good care of yourself.”

&&&&

The next day, while I was hanging out on the bar nursing my drink, I spotted John entered the bar. I raised my eyebrows at him. He didn’t strike me as the type to go to a bar sort of person. Too gentlemanly. He seated himself beside me without invite.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you suppose to teach Beacon Hills’ bright young minds?” I asked teasingly.

“I have a free period.” John replied as he glanced at me. “I feel concern for you.”

“Me? Why?”

He shrugged. “So what about you? No client today?”

“Nope.” I said. “Can I buy you a drink, John?”

“Sure.”

And from then on, we become sort of friends. I hang out on the library in lazy afternoon when my work as PI is slow. He hang out at the bar at night at my request whenever I need to wind up. I also invited him to my office to have a look around.

“Sorry, the place is messy…” I said.

“It’s fine. I’m the one who is intruding…” He glanced around the room. “You sleep here?”

“Yeah, can’t afford separate living space and office.”

John hummed. “Nice place though.”

“I know.”

&&&&

“So what’s with you and the teacher?” Holden, the bartender asked one day.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean?”

“Lately I saw you hanging out a lot with him. Are you seeing him?”

“Just friends.”

“Friends that hang out most of the times?” he asked in obvious disbelief.

“we find kindred spirit in each other?” I spouted out bullshit.

“Fine, if you don’t want to tell me…” Holden shrugged with a pout. “You are alone today?”

“yeah. John has a teacher gala thing.”

“He didn’t invite you along?”

“Not my thing.”

He finally left me alone to deal with the other customers.

&&&&

John is adorably awkward. He told me about a fellow teacher at the school, Joan, who seem to be politely flirting with her.

“Well, if you like her, flirt back.” I said.

“I don’t know…”

“Why? Do you have someone you like already?”

“No, not really.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I think the school has rules about fellow teachers getting together…?”

“Screw the rules…” I said. “If you like her, you should give her a chance. What if she is the one for you, John and you missed your chance because of some rules?”

“I suppose…” John looked reluctant.

I rolled my eyes. “Do you need my help with her?”

John’s eyes widened. “No!” He practically yelled.

“Geez, okay, no need to yell…”

“Sorry.”

&&&&

John started seeing Joan so he started to spend less time with me.

When I reported this to my handler, Luke, he gave me an earful about it. So I had to do something.

I stalked both John and Joan on their date. I started to investigate Joan for dirt. I have to sabotage their relationship. Not my proudest moment especially since I was the one who push John into dating her. Eventually they broke up and John return to hang out with me, nursing a drink together over his short-lived romance. Though I get the feeling John isn’t entirely too troubled with the break-up.

&&&&

I finally established my reputation as a PI in Beacon Hills when I 'rescued’ a child from a kidnapper. Honestly, it was just a coincidence. I just happen in the wrong place right time kind of thing.

I become sort of famous because of what happened. My picture is in article on local newspapers. The Sheriff is actually start to look at me differently and acted all nice with me.

John gazed at me with admiration as if I have suddenly become his heroine or something. He took me out on a dinner. I told him to meet me in McDonald for burgers much to his astonishment. I think he want to take me to a fancy dinner but I hate that.

I started getting more clients as a PI. The Sheriff also started to invite me to help with his cases. I started getting into my fake job a little too seriously now, almost neglecting my primary assignment.

Luke, for some reason, seemed to know and reprimand me to 'up my game’. Ugh, I don’t like this part because that meant I have to start getting romantically involved with John to keep him with me.

So during a night while he’s hanging out on my office while we drank alcohol together, I kissed him. He kissed me back. But he acted like a proper gentleman, telling me that I was drunk and it would inappropriate of him to take advantage.

John is acting weird lately, like those lovesick fools. He become more affectionate with me, holding my hand, caressing my hair, smiling adorably at me, stuff like that.

I should be happy because he’s acting exactly as I expected him to but I like him as friend and It just so weird to change the dynamic. But I know I have to make the jump on that.

&&&&

John is upset with me. He’s actually mad because I didn’t properly acknowledge what we have, whatever that is.

“Do you like me, (name)?”

“Well, yeah, you are my best friend, John."

"That’s not what I meant and you know it.” John looked frustrated. “I want more from us. And I would like it if you want it too…”

I wanted to hit myself in the head. I should just follow the mission and become his girlfriend but I genuinely like him as a friend and I don’t want to pretend to love him. Even though for the sake of the assignment, I have to. I can tell John is losing patience in dealing with me. I have been brushing him off lately and then being affectionate next. And I said assignment, but really its all about the payday, isn’t it? Part of me feel horrible because I do consider him as friend but another part of me, the sensible one, forced me to face reality. John is just an assignment, not a friend at all. When the time come, I would have to left him behind.

John displeased with me and left, refusing to talk to me.

Now what? If he is mad with me, it would be a bit hard to keep an eye on him. Luke is going to give me hell for this. But I did accepted this assignment so I have obligation to see it through at any cost.

&&&&

I got a client, a young lady who is afraid of her husband who apparently a very influential individual in this town. The husband abused her hence she wishes for a divorce. But the husband refused so the lady, Mary, wishes for me to discreetly get a dirt on the husband and blackmailing him into divorcing her and left her alone. So I made plan for a stake out on the husband.

I saw John and he is being cold toward me on purpose. I don’t like it.

I got dirt on the husband but I wasn’t careful and was found out. His henchmen attacked me while I was walking home alone one night. Had it not for John I would have got hurt a lot worse. It was the first time I wonder if John has a dark side. The calm way he handle the henchmen with precision movement to disable them while still give them a whole of hurts is kinda…amazing but also scary.

I gaped at him. “John?”

John walked toward me and sat down beside me on the ground. He gently touched the bruise on my neck from when they tried to strangle me. “I really wish you would be more careful.” He said with a sigh.

“Thank you for saving me…” I whispered.

“Just because I’m still mad at you, doesn’t meant I don’t care about you. Because I do care, (name)…”

“I…care about you too, John.”

“But you don’t love me…”

“Do you? Love me?” I asked.

John didn’t answer for a second. He sighed. “I like kissing you. I want to kiss you some more.”

I chuckled at him and winced as I stroke my neck. I closed my eyes and thought on the night we kissed. I don’t know if I want to kiss him again but right at this moment, I very much wanted to.

“We should report this to the Sheriff and you need to go to see a doctor.” John said in concern.

“No to both.”

John glanced at me in disbelief. “These men just tried to kill you.”

“Hazard being a PI? Means I’m doing my job right…somewhat…” I said with a hoarse tone.

“Not funny, (name).” John said firmly. “Look at you, you can barely talk. You really need to see a doctor.”

“Ugh, too much paperwork.”

“I will handle the paperwork.”

“John, I really just want to go home, you know? I’m beat up…” I said tiredly.

“Fine, but you’re coming home with me.”

“Fine.” I agreed to tired to argue.

&&&&

I glanced around John’s house. It was a bit small but lovely. I saw a few sketches on the coffee table. It was sketches of some alien in nature. My eyes widened. John is suspicious after all. I thought he was an ordinary human but he knew the existence of alien? The drawing of Daleks, Cyberman and many other alien species. It was really good though, the drawing. I didn’t know he could draw so well.

“What is this?” I asked as I waved one of the sketches.

“Oh, it was just a doodle.” John said. “You knew years back there are alien invasion on Earth. Those are supposedly eye-witness account of how the alien species look like.”

“You never encounter any of them?”

“Nope.”

I picked up a drawing of a young girl. “And who is this?”

“Rose…” John whispered solemnly.

“And who is Rose?” I asked.

John didn’t answer for a few seconds. “Nobody, apparently…just someone that didn’t exist.”

I frowned. I have a feeling there is more about this Rose. So while John is distracted, I took the sketch into my pocket, intending to ask Luke to investigate her.

John prepared a warm bath for me and tend to my wounds afterward. He also gave me some hot tea to calm my nerves. He gave me one of his pajamas for me to wear to sleep.

“You can take my bed, I will sleep on the floor.”

“Your bed is big enough for two. We could sleep together.” I said.

John raised an eyebrow at me.

“You know what I meant.”

He grinned.

I shook my head. “I’m tired. I will go to bed first.”

“I will join you later.”

“Just a warning, I snore.”

John chuckled.

&&&&

That morning I woke up with John’s arms somehow has envelop me. I turned to look at his sleeping face. I couldn’t help the small smile on my face. I discreetly removed his hands and move out of the bedroom as not to disturb him. It was still a bit early.

I took my bag pulled my smartphone and took a picture of Rose drawing and send it to Luke with a text to find out about her. Then I made coffee for myself.

Shortly after, John got out from his bedroom, with adorable messy hair, looking a bit in panic. He stopped short when he saw me chilling in his kitchen drinking his coffee.

“Hey…” I greeted innocently. “Coffee?”

He gazed at me and actually sighed in relief. "I thought you left the house…“

"What if I did?”

“I would have hunt you down.” He said with this expression I can’t decipher.

I couldn’t tell whether he was joking or serious. So I decided to change the subject to my case, the reason why I become a damsel in distress for John.

“I am a PI. This is what I do. And frankly I love it. I’m not gonna stop doing what I do just because some guy decided I was in the way.” I said when John expressed how dangerous my line of the work are.

To tell the truth, if I ever left Division, I could see myself working as PI.

&&&&

I managed to get back at the guy who tried to have me killed. I blackmailed him in regard of his illegal business, forced him to divorce his wife and make him agreed to give said ex-wife generous amount alimony.

He agreed very reluctantly but I know he won’t just let me go for blackmailing him. I know he will try different ways to hurt me but for now he will back off.

John is worried and tried to stay by my side whenever he can to make sure I will not be in danger. But he can’t do much since he has school to teach and other stuffs.

I reassured him that they won’t get the drop on me again.

&&&&

This small town lately become a hotspot for crime. Robbery, kidnapping and murders. And I used to think small town means less excitement. Now it feel like too much sometimes.

My relationship with John is still shaky at best. All because I couldn’t fully open myself to him. How can I? I’m living a lie. John might know my name and the fake background of mine but he doesn’t know the real me.

And John obviously is not what he said he is either. Sometimes i catches a glimpse of someone scary within John. It made me pretty curious to try to find out more about the true John. I suspect John’s identity is a cover up. But even as I suspecting this, I started to have all this confusing feeling for him.

&&&&

The nerve of her! That Joan! How dare she said that I’m not worthy of John? Who does she think she is acting all high and mighty?

When I told John about it, he grinned childishly. “You’re jealous…” he said, pleased and wrapped a hand around mine.

I scoffed at what he claimed. Why does John look pleasantly happy with the thought of me being jealous? It was kinda annoying me.

But to tell the truth though, Joan is right, I can’t imagine why John could ever love someone like me. I’m a mess.

&&&&

“The Doctor’s companion has contacted Jack Harkness for help in locating the Doctor.”

“Stall them. Divert their attention. Create a chaos near them. Do not let them find out the location of the Doctor. The plan must not failed.”

&&&&

“DON’T YOU DARE RUN AWAY FROM ME!!” I yelled on top of my lungs while I ran after the bad guy.

My target, upon hearing my banshee scream, ran faster. Only to fall spectacularly with a trick by John who happened to be in town while I was doing my thing.

John, who heard me screaming like crazy, glanced up from his conversation with a fellow teacher. He smiled in amusement upon spotting me. He saw who I was after and did thing I can explain, creating some sort of chain reaction with stuff around him which ended up with my target fell within my reach.

“Hah! Got you, jerk-face!” I yelled as I grabbed him.

Joan winced at my language.

John grinned as he approached me. “What are you doing with him, (name)?”

“Isn’t obvious? He’s a fugitive. I’m a bounty hunter at the moment.” I said with a grin.

John smiled fondly at me.

“How did you do that by the way?”

“Do what?”

“That thing you do… I don’t know what it’s called anyway, but that is awesome!” I said.

“Happy coincidence?” John said with a shitty grin.

I saw Joan from behind John, watching us with a look of disapproval which make me suddenly have an idea to annoy her some more. I pulled John down toward me and kissed him much to his pleasant surprise. He kissed me back. I saw from the corner of my eyes of Joan leaving the scene. I grinned into the kiss.

“What bring this on?” John asked.

“For your happy coincidence.” I said teasingly.

“Get a room.” My target scoffed.

I turned toward him. “Oh you will get a room, alright, off to jail you are.” I grabbed him and pushed him to the direction of the police station. “See you around, John.”

“See you tonight, (name).”

&&&&

I was drunk the first time I had sex with John. What the hell was I thinking? It was so embarrassing. I was upset because of a case. I lost a client that I personally get attached to. I failed her. I was so upset and I drank a lot.

John took me upstairs to my place where I shamelessly (at the times) seduces him with (oh dear, someone kill me please) a lap dance and basically being a tease till he agreed to bed me. John is a proper gentleman and at first has refused me, claiming he didn’t want to take advantage of my drunken state. Apparently I told him to hell with proper and if he didn’t bed me, I would find someone who would. And after that, I distinctly saw his eyes darken with possessive desire and he did exactly what I asked and more.

I have got to admit John is an excellent lover.

&&&&

I was pissed at John for suddenly proposing me with marriage. We haven’t even know each other that long to even start talking about marriage. Hell, there isn’t even a talk about it yet and here he was, cornering me with a proposal?! What.the.hell? And when I acted surprised and confused and absolutely against it, he got really quiet and withdrawn. When I asked him about it, he gave me the silent treatment. Seriously?

He acted like a maiden I deflowered or something and now demanding I marry him as a responsibility.

I sighed in frustration. At the risk of calling myself bitchy, I really think John is too needy and I don’t like it. He’s wonderful man but why is he in a hurry with our relationship? And in the first place, this isn’t actually a real relationship!

I contacted Luke and asked him how long I am meant to watch over John and if I really have to go through a fake marriage with him. I actually got order from the above to do it. Do everything within my power to make John happy and make him stay attached to me.

&&&&

John got shot, because of me. He was protecting me from a drive-by shooting. I was trying to talk to him but he stubbornly ignoring me and then he did that, protecting me again. How could he be so stupid?

I was getting emotional as I waited for him in his hospital bed. This was supposed to be a simple assignment so why did it went too far like this? John got hurt because I choose to be a PI while inserting myself in his life.

Thankfully his wound is not severe. When he woke up, I said 'yes’ to him. At first he is confused but when he realized what I meant, he smiled brightly.

After he got out of hospital, he become more affectionate with me even in public. I don’t do PDA, I only did that before to piss that Joan.

I was suspicious with the shooting though. Things seemed to happen around me and John which kind of pushes us together. I asked Luke if he or someone from above arranged that but he had no idea. He did promise to poke around for me.

&&&&

Thankfully we both agreed on a small wedding. In fact, I vetoed wedding dress. I wore a simple white dress on the day of our marriage and we signed on a piece of paper I didn’t bother to look twice with a fake priest arranged by Luke.

I moved into John’s house. We shared a room together and I settled into our marriage life. John still disapproved of how I handle my PI job from time to time especially when he found out I got hurt. One day, I got home with busted lips from my interfering a fight between crazy divorced couple and the dark expression that flashed across his face literally give me chill. I explained to him that it was just an accident and he really need to stop having constipated face every time I got a little hurt.

John is evidently angered by me dismissing his concern. He grabbed both of my wrists and demanded I paid attention to him. I flinched at his reaction and he apologized sort of.

Thankfully, afterward I only got small cases like tracking a missing dog or stolen family heirloom. The school is out on holiday. John wanted to assist me in my work. I narrowed my eyes at him unhappily. It is almost like he want to take over my life or something. But then when I saw the childlike delight on his face when he found the missing dog or successfully retrieving the lost item, I ended up allowing him to come along.

“You’ve got to teach me about that happy coincidence trick…” I said.

“(name), I wouldn’t know how to. I just do it.”

I pouted. “Just say that you didn’t want to teach me that.”

John and I accidentally got involved with a very scary pregnant woman whose water broke and she was cursing everyone during the entire birth while the ambulance is nowhere to be found. But the look on John’s face though when he deliver that woman’s baby… I almost worried that he’s going to demand we have a children but thankfully he didn’t.

John always gazed at me with that genuine expression. No one ever look at me that way before, no one but him. I told him as much. He would kiss my neck gently and told me that everyone who couldn’t really see me for me is a fool.

And I wonder if he really see me. I lied to him, I still do, but did he know? I become unsettled at the thought of being played by him. I become determine to find out why they wanted John observed and who he really is.

&&&&

Luke is frantic when he called me about Rose. Rose was that man’s companion. The Doctor. The most feared man in universe, the face-changer, the man who is capable of being kind as much as he is able to be cruel. I froze when I saw the many known faces of the Doctor on my tablet and one of them clearly is John.

I discreetly scanned John while he was sleeping and found out he is a human, only have one heart. But the Doctor has two hearts. What the hell is happening? Someone has turned him into a human. But who? And for what purpose? Are they planning to kill him? But why assigned the Division to keep an eye on him?

I groaned in frustration. What is the big guy even thinking to accept a job that involved the Doctor? What the fuck is wrong with him? He had made me a target for the Doctor’s wrath for when he returned to his true self if that even possible. I was really, really frightened by the Doctor. I heard the stories and it wasn’t good. I know he is capable of being kind but from my side, I only ever heard his famous cruelty of no second chance.

The Doctor is a good man. That was everyone always said. But they also said he is the most cruelest man ever. When he suffered lost of his companions, he snapped and enraged at the world. He called himself the Time Lord Victorious and that the law of time is his.

Although he’s getting better, according to rumor, that he’s making amend and taking both old and new companion again, saving people and planet and whatnot, the Time Lord Victorious still existed in him and still come out to play from time to time. And that is what make the Doctor is properly frightening.

I found out that his current companion is Martha Jones and Mickey Smith. So I grabbed my vortex manipulator and went to investigate them. From what I can tell, they have lost the Doctor. I was off my game apparently because someone put a gun on my back. I recognized him as one of the Doctor’s former companion, Jack Harkness. He found me lurking around and caught me.

They interrogated me. I have no choice but to tell the truth about John when Jack force-feed me a truth drug. They demanded I bring them to John.

&&&&

“Hand off my wife.” John said coldly as he pointed my gun toward Jack and the others when he saw me being kept as prisoner after we entered our house via vortex manipulator.

When Jack, Martha and Mickey realized that John really did not recognize them, they let me go. They were surprised to learn that John had married me.

John fussed over me. “Are you alright, (name)?"

I didn’t say anything. It was my first time seeing him carrying a gun and for some reason, he frightened me greatly. I tried to calm myself.

The companion furiously asked me what did I do to him even though I am as clueless as they are. Jack demanded that I take them to the Division and to the client that asked us to keep an eye on John.

John demanded everyone to shut up. He glanced at me, expecting me to explain but I didn’t. I refused to look at him. It was Martha who tell him all he needed to know.

John looked calm after he learned the truth from Martha. He scrutinize me with his eyes. "So it was all a lie.” He said, sounding strangely not surprised.

“You are way too calm about this.” I said. “Are you sure you really have no idea?”

John looked pissed now. “Would you like me to be angry, wife?” he spatted the word with venom.

I flinched. “You are the one who asked me, remember?”

“And do you even love me or was it all just an assignment to you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does!”

I looked away. “It wasn’t real.”

“You’re lying.” he said, almost pleading me.

“Am not. Ask Jack, he forced me to eat a truth drug. I can only speak the truth.”

Jack confirmed it.

John looked sad and defeated. I wanted to hug him but all my instinct is telling me to run. I could see it within John, the being called the Doctor, and I am afraid.

&&&&

I was forced to help figuring out what happened to the Doctor and who turned him into a John.

Martha said something about chameleon circuit? And something about a watch with perception filter. But John and I never saw a watch like the one Martha described.

I have no choice but to enlist Luke. He is pissed at me for ruining the assignment and for involving him with this mess. I glared at him. I blame the Division, what kind of idiot would willingly agree to mess with the Doctor in the first place anyway? The big boss should have his head cut off for being massively stupid.

&&&&

One mess after another later, we finally found the information regarding the Doctor’s Time Lord consciousness. Jack basically has to threaten to dangle the big guy off the window before he told us about the client who made the payment for John case.

I was surprised that John willingly agreed to follow on it despite knowing the return of the Doctor means the end of John Smith. John has not talked me to me since I told him everything between us wasn’t real.

Luke provided John with the tablet containing information regarding the Doctor. And he learned about Rose. “She was real…” he whispered in awe.

I almost felt jealous. Almost. I know I didn’t have a right to be jealous. So I turned away from him to focus on other things.

&&&&

I have no idea how someone got the drop off the Doctor. Apparently during an adventure with Martha and Mickey in some alien planet, they got ambushed by a young woman called Kovarian and her army. She tricked the Doctor into a chameleon circuit of her own. The Doctor is smart but he knew he can also be thick sometimes. He had no choice but to follow along Kovarian’s demand if he want to keep his companion safe.

Kovarian had promised to let Martha and Mickey go after the Doctor follow through with the chameleon circuit. And so he did. His time lord consciousness was stored into a special hourglass and the energy is being used for experiments. For what purpose, no one know.

True to her words, Kovarian did drop Martha and Mickey on Earth where they frantically contacted Torchwood for help in locating the Doctor. What they didn’t know is that Kovarian also dropped the Doctor turned human on Earth under watchful eyes of the Division. The companion had thought that she would have taken the Doctor off on another planet.

&&&&

I managed to retrieve that damned hourglass and I pushed it on Martha’s hand. I was done with them. I was done with John freaking Smith and the Doctor. While everyone is thoroughly distracted with breaking the hourglass and the time lord consciousness forced its way into John, I ran. I was a coward. I couldn’t stand any longer be in their presence.

Kovarian, having lost and cornered, decided to hold the Earth hostage. Now, they really need the Doctor to save the world.

&&&&

I cursed the big boss for putting me in this position. I packed up my stuff and decided to go on the run before the Doctor come for me. I picked up a bio damper to throw him off my signature in case he decided to track me. And I ran and I prayed and I hope he never bother with me.

But, of course, it was only a matter of time before he find me. Luke warned me about the Doctor coming to Division demanding to meet with the active called (name) (last name). I ditched the communication device I had on my person knowing its likely Luke’s warning call is traced by the Doctor. And I ran again.

That dreaded day finally come when I saw the Doctor’s Tardis one day.

John, no, the Doctor got out of the Tardis. He was alone. He glanced at me and said, “Hello, wife.”

“I didn’t want any trouble, Doctor.” I said quickly. “I didn’t know that John is you. Had I known, I would never…”

The Doctor regarded me curiously. “You are afraid of me.”

I didn’t reply as if that is not obvious considering who he is.

“I’m not gonna hurt you. I know you didn’t have anything to do with Kovarian.”

“Then why are you looking for me?”

“I just would love to talk…”

I stared at him flabbergasted. “Talk? About what?”

He shrugged. “You are my wife.”

“It wasn’t even a real marriage!!” I snapped. I probably shouldn’t have said that but I was really frustrated and confused with the Doctor.

“It was real for john so it was real for me.”

“John is not even real person!”

The Doctor shrugged again as if he can’t see that he’s upsetting me greatly or maybe he know but didn’t care. “You took care of me, sorry, John. And even if it wasn’t real to you, I would like to say thank you.”

I was confused with his line of thought here. What? Shouldn’t he be super mad at me or something?

“I would like to offer you a chance to travel with me in the Tardis just this once.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He looked surprised, his mouth hang open.

“Why would you spend all this time looking for me? Just to say thank you? I’m not stupid, Doctor. What do you really want from me?” I stared at the Tardis behind him. “Are you trying to trick me to get inside the Tardis so you could punish me or something?”

He looked saddened. “You really saw me as the bad guy here, huh?” He noticed some bruise I have on my wrist. He moved to touch me but I stepped backward. He didn’t take another step. “What happened to you?” He gestured to my wrist.

“None of your business.” I spat furiously. I wanted to kick myself in the head for poking the bear.

A dark expression crossed his feature.

I gulped.

He composed himself into a calm and polite manner. “I would like to show you something.” he said as he raised a hand toward me.

I stared at his outstretched hand. “Do I have a choice?”

He didn’t reply for a few second. “I promise you will not be harmed. And if you come with me, you will not regret it.”

I didn’t know what possessed me to accept his words. It was stupid of me.

&&&&

He took me to that night, in the past, the first time John and I had sex. I didn’t recognized it at first. The Doctor brought me to a place, the place where I lost my client and he told me to save her.

I was flabbergasted by him again. “Isn’t that against the rule of time or something?”

“Are you really gonna argue about the rule of time with a Time Lord?” he asked back.

So I did as he asked. I saved my client. But past me had no idea, she still think the client died.

The Doctor arranged for my client to leave town and start a new life.

I didn’t understand why he did this. “Why?” I asked.

“I remembered this night. The night you come to me, sad and lost. I remembered thinking I hated seeing that expression on her face. I want to make her, you, happy just as you made me a happy man that night.”

I blushed when I realized what he’s implying. My mind couldn’t help but having a flashback of that night we spend together.

The Doctor smiled at me. “I would really like it if you come with me, (name). Travel with me in the Tardis. Have adventure together, saving people. I know that’s the reason you love being a PI. Stay with me and we can go anywhere anytime.”

A warning bell rang in my mind for a while now but, being the idiot that I am, I ignored it in favor of that handsome face smiling beautiful lies at me.

&&&&

The Doctor is fiercely protective of me. He didn’t take it well when someone took me as hostage or when I got hurt by someone else’s hand. That part of him reminded me a lot of of my times with John. It also made me very uncomfortable.

One day, I found a piece of paper and I recognized it as my fake marriage certificate with John. But why did the Doctor keep it? And then I frowned when I noticed the signatures on the certificate. What should have been John Smith’s name is now written and signed as the Doctor. What?

I confronted him about it.

“I told you it was real for me.” He said.

“It wasn’t real! This is a human marriage custom! You are not even human!” I yelled furiously. I don’t know why I was so angry over this marriage thing. I felt like I have been imprisoned and I didn’t even realized it. “How did you even change the name in the first place?” I asked. “In case you don’t know, the priest who officiate our fake wedding is also fake. So this paper…” I waved it around. “…is meaningless!!”

“He was a real priest. I made sure of it.”

Did he seriously crossing his own time stream just to make sure we have a real marriage? I can’t believe it. He really creep me out right now.

“It is still legal and binding. You are my wife.”

“Like hell I am!!” I yelled. “I’m not your wife! You are an alien and thus the marriage is invalid!”

“Not to me.”

“You can’t do that! You can’t just decide on your own which rules apply to you and which didn’t!”

“Does it bother you that much to be married to me?” he asked. “Do you hate me so much?”

“You are frightening me.”

“I didn’t want you to be afraid of me. I would never harm you willingly.”

“Take me back.”

“What?”

“Drop me back on earth or wherever, I don’t care! I just want to be away from you.”

The Doctor looked hurt but to my surprise he dropped me back on earth. “I will come back for you when you have calm down.” he said.

I wanted to scream. “No, Doctor, I want you to leave me alone.”

“I can’t.”

Oh I believe him. He is not going to let me go just like that. I started to mentally making a plan to run. But he took one look at me and he knew.

“Don’t run from me, (name).” He warned. “No matter how far you run, even to the end of time, I will always find you…forever.”

“Well, Doctor, considering you are immortal and I am not, I don’t think you will have forever.” I said cruelly.

He flinched at that. He gazed at me with a profound sadness that made me feel guilty. And then a darker expression replaced it.

I froze under his gaze. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t say that last bit.

The Tardis vanished out of sight and I can finally breath easier.

&&&&

I contacted everyone I know and begged them to help me hide from the Doctor but one word of the Doctor and they all shut me down. They wouldn’t want to risk the wrath of Time Lord Victorious.

Not even the Doctor’s companion willing to help me.

“I don’t know what he see in you.” Jack replied with disgust. “But you obviously make him happy. Even though you seem to bring a darker version of him out…”

No, I am not, I wanted to scream.

“After losing Rose, you are the first he allowed himself to love…”

And that gave me an idea. If I could get Rose back… I heard she was trapped on the other universe. If I could get her back here, then maybe he will let me go. According to Jack, Rose is the light that make the Doctor a better person. If she is here, then maybe whatever darkness the Doctor harbour will be gone and I will be set free.

With that new mission in mind, I ran again from the Doctor while discreetly trying to enlist help in opening a breach on the other universe.

The Doctor always found me, like he promised. He rescued me from danger sometimes. He traveled with someone called Donna now. He introduced me to her but not as his wife to my great relief. He gave me a look that said to behave so I obeyed.

Donna excitedly greeted me. She was a nice enough woman and I like her. She begged me to travel with her in the Tardis, claiming she need a woman’s company.

I had no choice but to agree.

&&&&

Turned out I didn’t have to do anything about Rose. Because she is coming to our world herself. The fierce woman who love the Doctor and the woman he still loves. I can smell the freedom already.

The brightened smile on his face when he saw her is annoying to me. I don’t understand why I still have such complicated feeling for the Doctor. I tried to pushes my feeling down.

Then the Daleks happened.

And then there is a meta-crisis doctor who decided to call himself John. Both version of the Doctor are stupidly in love with Rose, I can tell. Does that mean I am a rebound?

I don’t know why I am so upset. Getting away from the Doctor is what I want, right? Was I in love with the idea of the Doctor loving me or do I truly have feeling for him? I closed myself and thought of the times with John. I did enjoy his company. I also enjoy the Doctor’s company. But what does this mean?

Then everything spiraled out of control. The Doctor had to seal the breach to the other universe but he left both Rose and metacrisis doctor on the other side.

No. Just No. This wasn’t supposed to… I was so confused.

In the end, I was left alone with the Doctor once more now that Donna is also gone, having her memory erased. Seeing him standing alone, the loneliest man in the universe, how could I keep running from him?

So I stayed in the darkness with him.

&&&&

I was screaming.

Why am I screaming?

Pain. So much pain.

Where am I?

I forced myself to open my eyes. I was restrained to a medical bed and there is sort of machine whirred around me.

I froze when I saw him. The Doctor. But he wasn’t alone. There are other people I didn’t recognize.

“We will have our forever, (name)…”

The Time Lord Victorious allowing the experiment on his so-called wife in order to prolong her lifespan.

I shouldn’t have put that thought about 'not having forever’ in his mind. Now I’m paying the price.

He didn’t lie. He didn’t harm me. He let them do the the dirty work for him.

I sobbed and screamed again.

A/N: I was listening to Seven Devils by Florence and the Machine on a loop while writing this hence the title.

#tenth doctor x reader #10th doctor x reader #tenth doctor imagine #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who imagine #dark!doctor #yandere!doctor who #shiefenwrites

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stanskzseungmin · 4 years

Text

SCB ~ Shifting Tides

Mafia! + Gangster! AU

Gangster! Changbin x F! Gangster! Reader x Mentioned! Woojin x Mentioned! Chan x Mentioned! Lee Know

Genre: Angst

Trigger Warnings: Drugs, Alcohol, Non Graphic Sexual Content, Slightly Graphic Depictions of Violence, Death, Rape, Self Harm, Kidnapping, Torture

Word Count: 8.5k

A/N: #NotProofread #WeDyingLikeMEN

A/N 2: Also kinda slow burn, because I’m not good at pacing lmao.

A/N 3: Title kinda doesn’t relate, but if you know, you know. I can’t wait for the next season.

A/N 4 (I’ll shut up after this dw): I did not like how it turned out because I hella rushed the ending. I wanted to get this beefy boy done and over with so… sorry if it wasn’t that great.

In life, there are limits. There are boundaries, fine lines that should never be crossed. But in a selfish world, the selfish succeeds. They thrive within the blurred lines that have been smudged and smeared to a gray area between black and white. However, is black and white really so different? Is it simply one is good and one is bad?

The color black can produce feelings of emptiness, gloom, sadness and rebellion. The color black is also affiliated with animosity, malicious intent and evil. Black can also symbolize fear or the unknown. In mainstream media, the bad guy is usually depicted donning black clothing and the good guy is in white. But is white as virtuous as it seems?

White is a visually loud color. It is hard to miss. White can be blinding and can cause headaches. It is also affiliated with coldness and loneliness. White could also be an emotional detachment or a complete cleansing and purge.

But what they both have in common, is to never judge a book by its cover.

It was a typical Friday night for you. Dark nights, crowded rooms packed with people, blaring music and flashing lights. You were feeling particularly randy that night. Boosted with liquid confidence, you adjust your wayyyy too short body hugging white dress. The dress seemed to hang dangerously low on your bust and is riding high up your thighs, leaving your rack on full display and your undergarment is barely peeking out. Your dress was riddled with many gems, rhinestones and glitter that almost made it appear as if you were glowing under the many lights of the bustling club.

Giggling to yourself, you drank the amber color liquid from your glass. You hummed pleasantly from the strong sweet rambunctious flavor and the light burning down your throat. Your head was swimming from the light buzz you were feeling as you let yourself go on the dancefloor raising your glass.

It was one of those nights where you could feel the pent up frustration residing over you like an elephant keeping you pinned down under its large foot. You needed release and what’s a better way to release pent up stress other than sex? As you were swaying your hips sensually to the flow of the song, your eyes were searching for a physically attractive man that could make you forget the maladies of your past week. Your heart swelled with pride from the several men eyeing you like a piece of candy with their bottom lip captured between their teeth. You recognized a select few, but you were sworn to only affiliating yourself to each man once. Commitment wasn’t your style, you had too much to lose. You’d rather let whatever drunken feelings dissipate by morning’s light.

You recognized a cute faced honey brown haired male. He sat in a booth by himself with distant eyes that glanced at different points of interests of the club. You couldn’t remember his name, Woo.. Woo-something, not that you cared enough to remember. Sex with him was pleasantly surprising. You were expecting a bashful innocent boy judging from his face, but he was a sex god that packed quite a punch below the belt. Your eyes nearly rolled out of your sockets seeing him in all his glory. He really fucked you dumb with his magnum dick.

Another person you recognized was a guy with crispy blond hair. Black seemed to be a natural color for him; the dark leather complimented his pale skin perfectly. You couldn’t really put a finger on anything remotely close to his name. You only remember the thick Australian accent he had. His doesn’t compare to the size of the first, but him being vocal in bed made up for it. He wasn’t much of a moaner, more of a power trip dirty talker. His accent made it all the more worth it. You could still hear his sultry “Babygirl” being whispered in your ear and it sent chills down your spine.

The last guy you recognized was the blue haired performer on the club stage. He wore a skimpy outfit: a long sleeved crop top and a matching black booty shorts. The way he danced around that pole was so fluid, you wondered if he even had any bones. You only remembered his name because of how dumb it was. What kind of name was Lee Know anyway? Initially, you absolutely refused to moan out his dumb name, but how he used his stick when he dicked you down was jaw dropping. It’s probably because of his damn dancer hips.

You were currently being courted by this much older guy who reeks of alcohol, but you had a much higher standard. Your eyes caught a glimpse of this dark guy. He sat next to the Aussie. His body was facing you on the stool. His legs were wide open practically inviting you in between them, but his upper body was twisted and turned to face the same direction as the Aussie who was sitting with his back facing towards you. You rebuffed the older man who had his hands on your hips and is licking your neck, walking out of his grasp without sparing him a second glance. You stood in between the man dressed in full black’s legs and leaned forward, resting your hands on his thighs making sure to show off your rack. The male quickly whipped his upper body to face you with wide eyes.

“Damn, babygirl,” the Aussie noticed your presence as well and gave a quick slap on your ass.

“Not tonight, baby boy,” you smirked with your eyes still glued to the handsome man before you.

The Aussie huffed as turned away taking another swig of his drink. You eyed the man before you. His dark hair was delicately tucked under his black cap. He wore a tight black tee that accentuates his broad and tone chest. He also had a leather jacket slung over one of his legs.

“Do you have a weapons license? Because look at these guns,” you chuckled feeling his broad muscles on his thick arms.

The man scoffed with a small smile obviously amused by your attempts at flirting.

“Not bad,” he smirked. Your ears buzzed hearing his raspy and rough voice. “You’re not so bad yourself.” Changbin chuckled reaching behind and roughly grabbed your thighs and pulled you onto his lap. You teased him a bit by grinding your clothed heat against his thigh.

“So your place or mine, handsome?” you inquired, biting your lip and running a finger along his fly.

“Mine, it’s closer,” he whispered kissing along your neck.

You hummed in delight. “Shall we be off then?”

Changbin nodded softly, putting his hands on your hips and lifted you up slowly. He slapped the Aussie’s shoulder to signify that he was leaving. In an act of chivalry, he led you out of the bustling club with a hand on the small of your back and pushing away any drunk guys who’s trying to grab at you. Once you both were outside and the door closed behind you. The loud music transitioned to muffled noise. You shivered when you felt the cool breeze. It seemed as if a storm was coming in. Changbin then decadently draped his leather jacket over your exposed shoulders.

“So chivalry isn’t dead,” you chuckled.

“I’m not as bad as I look,” Changbin smirked outstretching an arm, pointing the direction of his apartment.

“I haven’t seen you around. You new to this area?”

“No, I actually frequent the club every week. You’re there every time,” Changbin chuckled, pulling out a cigarette and placing it within his lips. He offered the box to you with a cig protruding out.

“And you’ve done nothing about it? I’m not that alluring to you?” you smirked accepting his cigarette and placing it between your lips as well. You both leaned forward so the ends touch. Changbin covered the connection with his hand as he lit both cigs simultaneously.

He took one long drag of the cig and exhaling out the smoke. “I don’t take advantage of women.”

“How quaint.”

Once the doors have closed, all bets were off. Changbin has pinned you against his door as lips are met in a heated kiss with clashing teeth. You immediately shrugged off your (his) jacket, letting the leather material fall to the floor. Your hands flew to his belt and began loosening the material as he hiked up your already too short dress to get full access to your bottom.

“Are you gonna lead me to a bed or are you going to fuck me on this doorway, handsome?” you smirked, pulling away momentarily to catch a breath. He let out a guttural growl before hoisting you in his arms with his hands supporting your knees.

You both collapsed on the sheets as he pulled up the cover to drape over both your sweaty bodies.

“I never did catch your name,” he turned to face you, resting his head in his hand.

“Y/N,” you spoke out. “What about you, handsome?”

“SpearB,” he spoke out pridefully.

“Oh, so you’re CB97’s guy?” you smirked looking deep into his eyes.

His expression fell as his gaze darkened.

“You…know about us?” Changbin growled out threateningly.

“Only by name, it’s nice to put a face to it though,” you giggled patting his cheek softly. You sat up, swinging your legs off the edge of the bed and stood up, exposing your naked back in all of its glory to him. You bent down to slide on your party dress.

“Well, I shall be off. Thanks for the wild night, B,” you winked at him and tossed him your lace panty. He effortlessly caught it with his free hand. “A gift for you.”

Needless to say, you’ve caught Changbin’s attention. You were a total enigma that he desperately wanted to solve. It was icing on the cake that you were easy on the eyes as well.

“Chan hyung, do you think you can find out who that girl is?” Changbin asked leaning over Chan’s shoulder.

“Who do you think I am? CB97 is the best hacker in the underground,” Chan chuckled running his fingers through his blond hair and taking a long drag of his blunt. “Was she a good fuck?”

Changbin chuckled, “you had her before. How could you hold back this valuable information?”

“I never knew you were interested! Here, I got her,” Chan gestured Changbin to gaze at his laptop screen.

“Ally or enemy?” Changbin’s lips quirked upward gazing at the stunning picture of you.

“Amicable,” Chan clarified.

Changbin hummed in response. “I want her. There’s something about her that’s so alluring. She’s like a puzzle box that I desperately want to solve.”

“Careful, mate. Every lovely rose has its own thorns,” Chan warned.

“It’ll be fine. She has no fixed affiliation with a specific gang, she could join ours as my girl,” Changbin smirked, the air filled with his hubris.

“Alright. It seems her day cover is a barista job at Yellow Wood Cafe. You can take bus 4419 there.”

It had been almost 2 months since you last saw Changbin. Of course you knew who he was. His actual name, his face and who he was affiliated with, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you saw him around. CB97 was a true mystery though. As far as you knew, he was never seen in public and several other gangs and mafias in the area tried to gather as much info on the man, but couldn’t even get a face, not even a name.

You pulled your long hair into a high ponytail as you tie on your apron over your modest white dress shirt and black pencil skirt. It was early morning and you were the only one running the morning shift. Your coworkers would usually trickle in one by one about an hour to half before noon. There was also not that many customers, just the usual regulars. The second you see them walk in, you would get straight to work fixing up their drinks. As you served an elderly man his coffee, the hanging door bell rang as you were pouring the elderly man milk in his coffee.

“Welcome to Yellow Wood Caf…e,” you trailed off seeing the man standing in the doorway. His dark locks was slicked up exposing his forehead and showed off his intricate face. He wore clothing similar to what he had on when you saw him in the club: tight black shirt tucked into his dark jeans with fingerless leather gloves. The only thing different is that he was a very loose and worn black cotton vest. With his smirking face, it was Seo “SpearB” Changbin himself.

“For one,” he stated with his sultry voice.

“Anywhere you like,” you smiled with a plastic smile as you gestured to all the empty seats. You followed him to a corner table in the sun as he sat down in the wooden chair. You placed a menu on the table in front of him.

“No need,” he waved at the menu. “I just want coffee as dark as my soul.”

“So coffee with extra cream and sugar and a hefty amount of milk?”

Changbin spluttered choking on his saliva. “I am dark.”

“Sure,” you smirked as you walked away to pour a glass of dark coffee.

You delicately placed the glass cup before him as you took the seat in front of him.

“Why are you here?” you frowned.

“What’s wrong with going to a cafe for coffee?” he smiled innocently.

“I don’t think you’re here for coffee,” you crossed your arms at his remark.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he responded coyly.

“Of course not,” you remarked sarcastically.

“Alright, you got me,” he brought up his hands up in surrender. “I’m just here for the barista.”

“No,” you stated with finality as you left your seat.

Changbin however didn’t let that phase him. Everyday that week, Changbin frequented your cafe, coming in at the same time, ordering the same drink and sitting in the same corner table. Every single time, he wore black clothing. If you didn’t know better, you would assume he wore the exact same clothing every single time.

“You’re not going to give up, aren’t you?” you snapped, pouring him his drink.

“Please, just join my bed and lay by my side,” Changbin smirked darkly.

You huffed. “Straight to the point, huh? Fine. I’ll meet you at your apartment tonight.”

Changbin internally cheered and threw up an imaginary fist in victory. His heart and stomach did flips within him, but externally, he was calm and collected as he took another sip of his coffee.

As promised, you did show up to his apartment late at night. It was around 10 when you finally arrived. Changbin sat around anxious twiddling his thumbs fearing that you had stood him up. In reality, you were caught up in work because the café was understaffed. A few of your coworkers were feverish and never showed. You showed up still in uniform.

By the time you and Changbin had gone a couple of rounds, it was well past midnight and a storm was brewing. Lightning flashed as rain lightly pattered the window.

“Why don’t you stay the night?” Changbin offered. “A storm looks as if it’s going to come in.”

You sighed sitting up on his bed. Changbin tossed you one of his hoodies that was discarded on the ground.

“Your hoodie smells like shit,” you laughed sliding it over your naked body. You weren’t necessarily lying. The material reeked of alcohol, drugs and sex.

Changbin snorted sliding on a pair of black boxers.

“Might as well. I’ve already broken many rules staying here,” you sighed jumping back on his bed.

“What do you mean?” Changbin asked.

“I don’t sleep with guys twice and look at us now going for round 2.”

“I’m flattered. Settling with just one dick isn’t your style?” Changbin chuckled.

“Commitment isn’t my style. I don’t want to catch feelings,” you frowned looking off to the side, unable to face him.

“Why is that?” Changbin asked concerned. His voice was laced with worry and his tone suggested that he was genuinely interested. You internally rolled your eyes at your thoughts.

“You could only be betrayed if you trust. You could only be heartbroken if you love. To experience pain, you had to feel. I don’t want to go through that again…” you trailed off.

“Is this why you’re not tied with any gangs?” Changbin asked softly.

“Yes. I don’t trust people. They always end up leaving one way or another or using me.”

“I won’t leave you,” Changbin blurted out without thinking. You glared at the man after hearing his words. Even though Changbin hadn’t meant to say it, he meant it. He genuinely wanted to get to know you better.

“How can I trust you? You’re just a gangster at the end of the day,” you spat.

“Have you ever heard the saying ‘there is more honor among thieves than diplomats?’” Changbin started. “You and I both know that it holds water.”

You scoffed. He wasn’t technically wrong. Many of the gangs run on social solidarity and a sense of a brotherhood. Many people thrive on the fact that you can do stuff with your “brothers”: drink with your brothers, do drugs with your brothers, etc. It’s a way of escaping life. You, however, favor the physical relationships that would disappear by morning’s light. You let out a loud groan, thinking long and hard about Changbin’s proposal.

“Many people have hurt you. I won’t be one of them. I refuse to be a statistic.”

You stared deep within Changbin’s soul through his eyes. He seemed unphased and determined against your steel will. Not wanting to deal with his determination, you changed the subject.

“A drink isn’t going to cut it. You got any drugs?” You swung your legs over the edge of the bed as you waltzed out of his room with Changbin following suit.

��Uhh.. yea. What are you hoping for?” Changbin asked pulling out ziplock bags of drugs and setting it on the table before you. “I have a fair bit of weed and a few that will definitely fuck you up.”

“You don’t really seem like the type to do drugs,” you chuckled.

“I’m not. Just mainly weed and only then, I don’t do it much. You’re not the type to do drugs either.”

“Got me there. I’m actually planning to grab and go,” you jested lightheartedly, eliciting a laugh from him.

“Wow [by 3RACHA]. Going to make some bank off of drugs that’s not even yours. Shady.”

You laughed wholeheartedly in return.

“So,” you started off.

“So?” Changbin called off heading towards his mini fridge and grabbing two beers, handing one towards you.

“So you’ve gotten your gain. What is mine?” you asked with a hint of mischievousness laced in your voice, taking a small sip of your beer.

“You know this all underground stuff with gangs, killings, alcohol, drugs and shit. You can’t leave once you’re caught up with this shit. It just… takes control of your life. Your life isn’t yours anymore. Ya feel me?”

“Yea… I feel you,” you nodded. “Is this why you’ve never given out your actual name?”

“It’s sacred to me. It’s the only part of me I have left.”

Being alone in these sorts of dealings is way less than ideal, especially when you’re basically flying solo. You had no gang to watch over you and no family or friends to rely on. A price to pay in order to protect yourself. You would rather die alone, than die heartbroken.

Your day job did little to support you. You never would’ve predicted you would even end up in the life you’re in now. You felt pressured by the world, ready to give up. You found a way to relieve those built up tensions by many many one night stands. However, this has caused you a bit of trouble since you unintentionally riled up underground crime lords who are spoiled rotten that they can not take no for an answer and stuck with the “if I can’t have you, no one can” kind of schtick. So you learned to survive and bounce around various protections but without actually getting involved.

You were currently commissioned by one of the resident local gangs who needed your aid to ensure a highly important deal is a success. You were never told the details, just that it had to be passed. All you were told is that you were to meet up with your client's… client and trade the briefcase you’re provided with with theirs with the instructions to never look inside either of the briefcases. Your payment? Protection from those who want you gone before, during and after the deal. Afterwards, you would basically be set free as vulnerable as a deer caught in headlights until you find another job to do.

You fiddled with the hem of your black skin tight leather dress as another finger twisted and curled a strand of your hair. The briefcase was rested snugly by your feet as you leaned your body against the wall.

“Y/N?” a voice whispered out to you in the shadows.

“SpearB? Are you… the client?"

"No… I’m the messenger. I didn’t think you were one of them,” Changbin set down his briefcase and crossed his arms.

“I’m the same as you, a messenger as well. I was hired to make sure this…whatever this is, is a success.”

“… I see.” Changbin paused. “You don’t need to do this you know? Hopping from job to job. One day you’re going to run into a gang who will see your job hopping as disloyalty. And you know what happens to people who are disloyal. You could come with us, with me.”

“I already said no, SpearB. I only agreed to try out…whatever we are. Don’t make this any harder for me and give me your damn briefcase!” You outreached your hand suggesting Changbin to just hand over his briefcase.

He sighed. “On one condition.”

“What?” you growled out.

“Do jobs for CB97.”

“Sure, I’m going to do jobs for an enigma,” you grumbled reaching for the briefcase with Changbin lifting it above his head out of your reach.

“Please,” Changbin whispered softly.

“Fine,” you gave in after a pause and handed him your briefcase and he handed you his.

“You’re going to go back to your client right? Let me come with you,” Changbin walked forward and grasping your wrist gently.

“No-”

“Please, I know who your guy is. He’s dangerous. I’m just a messenger, he probably won’t know who I am,” Changbin pressed. “I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”

You let out a loud defeated sigh.

“You were followed?” your client, growled out eyeing the dark male behind you.

“Hakuna your-tatas, babe. He’s with me,” you rolled your eyes, scoffing softly before proceeding to place your (Changbin’s) briefcase on the table.

“But you work alone…” your client eyed you warily, and carefully grabbed a hold of the briefcase with high precaution.

“You seem to know me. Clearly not well enough,” you waltzed over to Changbin with a slight swagger to your hips and grabbed his lower jaw. Your fingers pressed into the soft flesh of his cheeks and squishing them up. You chuckled internally at Changbin’s expression when you did that.

“He’s my baby boy, my boy toy. Surely, a pimp like you can understand,” you responded cheekily, yet carefully trying not to rile up your client. “Look at him being a good boy. Standing there silent, waiting for mommy to finish her job."

You squished his cheeks even more until his lips scrunched up into an expression similar to a fish. You got up to your toes and gave him a light kiss to his lips. Needless to say, the glare Changbin shot towards you was priceless.

"Rigghhhttttt….” your client coughed out, feeling slightly awkward about the situation. He turned the briefcase towards him and began undoing the clasps. You slowly closed the gap between you and the client. You leaned forward slowly, the sounds of distress from your leather dress due to the stretch broke through the silence. Your pressed your palms onto the cool metal of the table and slowly spread your arms. Your client glanced up at you and down to your exposed cleavage. While he was distracted, Changbin circled around the room slowly, pretending to seem interested to the many dust unsettling from the ceiling. You eyed Changbin curiously. You confused glare burned through him. You were sure Changbin could feel your gaze boring into him due to him stiffing up momentarily.

“I did what you asked. I got your pretty briefcase. May I get going now? I promised my baby boy there a wild night,” you smirked, wanting nothing more to do with this man. You only cared about your payment for rent.

Your client snapped out of his daze of ogling over your cleavage. He cleared his throat and regained his composure.

“Of course, if this deal actually went through. You would get your payment,” he replied, carefully unclasping the briefcase. You hummed pleasantly in relief from him finally getting to the point.

“What the fuck?” your client seethed.

“Is something the matter, hand-” you were cut off by your client grasping your neck harshly. His large fingers wrapped around the delicate flesh most likely leaving bruises as he cut off your air supply.

“You bitch,” he spat at you. Flecks of saliva flew to your face as you attempted to pry his hand off of you. “You gave me a false briefcase, didn’t you. This shit is empty-”

“Let her go.” A soft click of a gun echoed through the air. Your client’s eyes widened at the realization that a gun was pressed to the back of his head. He slowly released your neck and raised his arms up. You stumbled backwards hacking and gasping for air.

“What?” your client’s voice was breathless. “Who?-”

“SpearB. Ring a bell? She didn’t swap your damn case. It was empty to begin with. Her orders were only to swap the case and bring it back and to never look at the contents.”

Your gaze darkened at Changbin’s words as you raised your head to glare at him. How did he know what your actual orders was?

Feeling a pair of eyes burning through him, Changbin glanced at you with an apologetic look.

“B? What the fuck?” You gritted out through clenched teeth.

A hesitation. A moment of weakness. That was all the client needed. Changbin eased up slightly to apologize. The client easily grabbed ahold of Changbin’s armed hand and twisted it behind his back trying wretch the weapon out of his hand. With hands quicker than the eye, the tables were quickly turned and it is now Changbin at gunpoint with his own gun.

“SpearB? So you’re part of 3RACHA? I didn’t think 3RACHA cared about anyone other than yourselves? Only using everyone to benefit yourselves. Like that little lady over there-”

A shot. A singular shot rang out that had Changbin jumping in shock wide eyed. Ugly screams echoed throughout the small walls as red dripped down to the floor, splashing onto Changbin as well. The client quickly cowered back into the corner, dropping the gun in the process. His hands flew up to cup his now missing lower jaw, the mandible bouncing pathetically on the ground in between Changbin’s feet.

“Holy. Shit.” Changbin exasperated jumping away from the bloody jaw. He looked up to you shocked, yet in awe wielding a S&W revolver, a thin wispy smoke came from the barrel.

You quickly pointed your gun at Changbin who brought his hands up in surprise.

“Don’t shoot,” Changbin stated calmly yet alarmed.

“Get out, B,” he nodded, bending down to grab his gun quickly and headed towards the door.

“After you,” he gestured to the door politely.

The client’s howls of pain can be heard echoing down the alleyway once the door has been opened. Changbin quickly shut him up with a singular bullet in between his eyes and closing the door behind him.

The second the door closes, you swung your leg backwards at an arn in an attempt to roundhouse kick him. Changbin reacts by blocking the hit with his forearm. His other hand instinctively grabbed at your ankle. You attempted to catch you balance by shifting your weight from your other foot to your palms pressing against the cold asphalt.

“Nice moves,” Changbin smirked, letting out a sultry chuckle. You huffed in annoyance.

“I was wondering where did you manage to hide that big boy?” He asked referring to the gun.

“Ever heard of a prison purse?” you retorted.

“Jesus Christ, that was a lot of heat woman.”

“So?”

Changbin backed off with both hands in the air, dropping your leg in the process.

“Whatever,” you growled crawling forwards to jump back on your feet. “How did you know what’s my mission?”

“My mission was to basically off the guy, but you’ve already got that covered,” Changbin crossed his arms ignoring your question.

“So you were using me?”

“No I-” he tried to interject, but you didn’t give him the chance.

“Just save it, B,” you stormed off, feeling betrayed and used.

It’s been a week after that incident. The both of you end up in the same club you’ve met, but never again frequented afterwards. On opposite sides of the club, you were drinking and partying on the dance floor, grinding on random men trying to ease the heavy feeling in your heart. Changbin was at the bar chugging down cup after cup of the hard liquor with a blunt between two fingers. Your mind was swimming in alcohol, but the only thing you can think of was how much you fucking missed Changbin and seeing his back turned to you at the bar only emphasized those feelings.

You slumped down next to him on the stool and he turned to look at you with wide eyes. You noticed the blunt in his hands and frowned and a pang of pain bubbled in your chest.

“I thought you didn’t do drugs…” you whispered out.

“It’s just weed,” Changbin scoffed.

You both turned away from each other, both suddenly finding their glass cups very interesting.

“I’m sorry,” the pair confessed simultaneously.

“Wait what?” Changbin breathed out looking at you bewildered.

“Why are you sorry?” You squeaked out, surprised.

“For using you…” Changbin confesses looking down and slumping his shoulders. “It wasn’t that I meant to use you, it was just the cards I was dealt. I hadn’t expected you to be the man’s hired bargainer. I was under the impression that he would show up himself due to the utmost importance of this trade.”

“Yes… I completely understand that. It wasn’t your fault, you were just doing your job. That’s why I wanted to apologize… I was being unfair to you…” you trailed off. “I missed you, Changbin-”

You tried to stop yourself, but it was already too late. The damage was done. Changbin visibly stiffened up. His drunken brain sobered up to the sound of his own name.

“W-Wait, B,” you stammered.

Suddenly, it is as if the world disappeared around Changbin. The blaring music and bass faded away to muffles in his ears. His heartbeat echoed loudly in his ears. He felt small and helpless. Alone in this dark world with a singular light shining directly at him.

“B?” you whimpered out, your fingers grazing his muscles lightly. “SpearB… I- I didn’t mean-”

Changbin swiftly backhands you without a second thought. Your eyes were wide as your head turned from the force of the impact. Your cheek was red and stinging but it was nothing compared to guilt eating away at your soul. He then storms off, leaving a heartbroken you behind.

“Han!” Changbin called out to his junior. Changbin’s booming voice tearing through the club bass made his junior jump and choke on the smoke from the bong he was ripping. “Give me some of the heavy shit.”

Han coughed, trying to catch his breath. “Are you sure, hyung? I thought you didn’t do drugs?”

“I just need to get blasted right now,” Changbin eyed the various items on the table: several bags of probably meth and cocaine as well as several syringes of heroin plus the bong sitting on his lap.

“I gave you a blunt earlier?”

“For fuck’s sake, Jisung, just give me some crack cocaine or some shit.” Changbin snapped sitting opposite of Han in the booth, and pulling out a credit card. Jisung sighed and slid a ziplock bag filled with white powder in front of him. Changbin grabbed a hold of the plastic and dumped a generous amount directly on the table. He used his credit card to separate the powder into several lines.

“You got a bill?”

“What happened to all your money?” his junior going at it again with his bong.

“I drank it,” Changbin replied seriously.

“I don’t think you should be doing drugs with alcohol.”

“I don’t need a lecture, Han,” Changbin grumbled leaning forward, plugging up a nostril, snorting up a line. Changbin sighed in content. A euphoric feeling washed over his body, turning his brain into putty.

Everybody in this club probably have done drugs at least once, mainly weed, but it’s a drug nonetheless. Some kept at it. His junior, Han “J.One” Jisung, has prob hit every one at least once. Some didn’t like how the after effects outweighed the euphoric effects and dropped it entirely like his senior, Bang “CB97” Chan. But besides this, everyone has their drug, the drug that will just click and consume their entire body and soul.

Unfortunately for Changbin. It was cocaine. His alcohol intake hastened effects of the drug and he found the feeling to be addicting and euphoric. He felt as if he was on Cloud 9 and in heaven.

And he couldn’t stop.

“Hey,” a voice called out. “Hey!”

You jolted awake at the hand shaking your shoulder gently. You winced at the pounding headache you had. You looked up recognizing the pale man with crispy blond hair.

“Sorry to wake you up, but do you know where SpearB is?” he asked. You can pick out his ear candy Australian accent.

Right. You remember where you were. You tried to find Changbin after he stormed off at the club after him giving you a nasty blow on your cheek, but to no success. You lost him within the crowd of clubbers and there were too many men trying to lay their hands on you. So you went to his apartment and fell asleep at his door waiting for his return.

“Is SpearB not with you?” the blond asked.

“N-no?” you stuttered. “He never came home?”

“Shit,” the blond breathed out, running a hand through his hair. “That was not the answer I wanted to hear.”

“What is it…?” You tried to remember the Aussie’s name, but nothing came to mind.

“CB97,” he responded, leaning against the wall and throwing his head back. His skull bounced off the wall lightly as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. You gasped, eyeing the blond in front of you.

CB97? THE CB97? An enigma in the underground and one of the most powerful men to top it off? And you’ve slept with him and then you’ve slept with one of his guys and deeply hurt him. Your mouth gaped open as all that ran in your mind was that you were thoroughly fucked and not by a dick.

“Relax. I have no quarrel with you,” he responded, smiling softly to show that he has no ill intentions. What he said next made your racing heart drop straight down to your stomach.

“SpearB is missing.”

Changbin awoke in a cold sweat. His head was throbbing. Everything felt cold. He felt cold, yet his body was burning up. Sweat was running down his temples and his back in streams causing his shirt to stick to his skin uncomfortably. Changbin was sobbing, tears were running down his face. It felt as if there were a million fire ants crawling beneath his skin, nipping and gnawing at his flesh as the symptoms of withdrawal hit him hard and fast.

Changbin squirmed and thrashed only to quickly realize that he was in a chair with his arms and legs bound and chained at the wrists and ankles. His heart was hammering in his chest not necessarily from the fear of being bound and imprisoned, more so from the side effects of his withdrawals as he screwed his eyes shut.

“Good morning, sunshine,” a voice called out. Changbin peeked at the figure in front of him. He was stood in the dark with a singular hanging light over Changbin. Changbin could barely make out the blurry figure; all he got was that he was dressed in all black with a hood, mask and sunglasses.

“What do you want?” Changbin rasped out, his throat was dry and it felt like he was swallowing pins and needles when he swallowed in attempt to moisturize his throat.

“You should know what I’m looking for,” the man chuckled. “Tell me who are the rest of 3RACHA.”

“No.” Changbin responded firmly without hesitation. A loud crack ran through the air not even a second later. Changbin’s head was thrown to the side, eyes wide and a split cheek.

“I’d suggest you make this easier on yourself and just give me the names,” the man growled sliding on black latex gloves.

It’s been a daze. Changbin had no idea how much time has passed. His face was battered and bruised and blood was running down his nose in streams staining his lips and teeth red as he has a constant metallic taste on his lips. He’s currently sitting in isolation alone in the dark with the light off. The room was soundproof with no windows so Changbin hadn’t the slightest what is going on outside or even where he was. His entire body was burning up and trembling profusely from his drug withdrawals and his stomach constricted painfully yearning for food.

Soon a door opened and the familiar man walked in closing the door behind him.

“Care to talk now?”

“No,” the man’s response was a swift kick to Changbin’s torso causing him to double forward to cough and wheeze.

“So, how was it in isolation? Are you thirsty? Does your back hurt from being slouched over for too long?”

Changbin could only merely glare.

“Here, let me help.”

The man carefully unbounded the straps on Changbin’s wrists and ankles and proceeded to drag him out by his forearm. He didn’t take him very far, just the next room over. The next room was as bare as the one he was in, save for a singular table in the center along with hanging LED lights that were currently off.

“Get on,” the man commanded. Changbin reluctantly complied due to the piercing pain in his legs. Changbin lied flat on the cool metal table as the man strapped him down once more.

“Aren’t I so generous? You must be tired sitting in the dark all day long,” his tone was apathetic as he turned to leave and flicked the light switch on. Changbin winced at the harsh light shining directly to his face as he screwed his eyes shut. Suddenly, he heard a rattling of a chain and the sound of a metal trap door opening. Before he can fully comprehend what was happening, his nose and mouth were suddenly flooded with water. Changbin gasped and sputtered after the first wave. Before he could fully recover, a second wave came in and it kept coming.

“Do you want to talk now?” the man’s voice played through an intercom.

“Fuck. You.”

“Wrong answer.”

Changbin got waterboarded once more.

“I gotta say. You’re pretty impressive. Your resilience and determination would be awe inspiring if not annoying,” the man started, forcing a taser into Changbin’s chest. Changbin was now strapped back to his original chair after the man failed at breaking him with the use of waterboarding.

“Since you don’t want to talk about the other members of 3RACHA. Let’s talk about you,” the man started, walking circles around Changbin.

“You’ve always been on your own. Taking control of your own life. Never bowing down to anyone or anything, but somehow the great SpearB was managed to be tamed and now you’re under the command of CB97. CB97,” the man chuckled speaking out that code name. “CB97. Ever the enigma. Managed to strap down one of the finest underground hitman, SpearB and one other. So much influence and power, yet no one can touch him. Not even a name or a face have come to light.”

Changbin eyed the man with pure hatred and disgust.

“But it seems CB97 isn’t the way to go here. How about that girl who has no affiliation in the underground?”

Changbin’s breath hitched. The man smiled wickedly. “Jackpot.”

“How long has it been since he’s been missing?” you asked pacing back and forth in the dark room.

“A little over a week now. J.One is out there hustling for as much info as he can get,” CB97 informed. “A part of me was hoping he just went away for a little while and then reappear.”

“It’s all my fault,” you blurted out. “I always end up sleeping my way into a fucked up position.”

“I’m not blaming you and neither would SpearB.”

“What makes you say that for certain?”

“Because he loves you.”

Howls of pain ripped through Changbin’s throat, his throat now as red and raw and the pulsating flesh on his fingers.

“Did you really think she cared for you?” the man growled, wrenching off another fingernail with pliers.

“You don’t know anything about her,” Changbin growled out.

“Probably not, but she knows you. Seo Changbin is it not?”

“How did you-”

“What do you think?” the man smirked, turning away and pulling out an unknown syringe, giving it a light press and flicking it to get rid of oxygen bubbles.

“No. Not-” Changbin was cut off by the man injecting the strange liquid into his arm.

“Seo Changbin. August 11, 1999.”

“Shut up! Shut up!” Changbin’s vision was getting blurry as his head was turning to mush.

“Do you still believe that that girl is innocent? She only does what she does to benefit herself. Why do you think she has no affiliations? Why do you think she’s been keeping the fact that she knows your real name from you?”

Changbin’s head slumped forward in defeat.

“Now… tell me their names or I can bring her to you so you can watch her break.”

“You can’t be serious, Changbin? Even now you refuse to speak even with that drug I’ve injected and a knife deeply embedded in your thigh?”

“Go fuck yourself,” Changbin spat his blood at the man.

“I’ve had enough of you!”

“How ironic,” Changbin chuckled. “You’re trying to break me, but you’re the one breaking.”

Changbin couldn’t see the man’s face, but he could imagine the scowl he’s wearing and dilated eyes. The man growled and pulled out the knife. Changbin bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. He wouldn’t give his captor the final satisfaction of hearing his cry. The man brought the blade to Changbin’s neck, prompting him to bring his head up to glare at the man.

Before the man could do any damage, a muffled explosion went off in the background. The room shook slightly as dust unsettled from the ceiling. The door was busted open and in comes in CB97 and J.One, both wielding guns.

“Y/N,” CB97 called out. “SpearB out of here. We’ll take care of this mess.”

You appeared behind pair, nodding softly and rushed towards Changbin who passed out. His body finally shutting down after seeing the familiar faces, knowing that he was being saved.

Changbin wakes up some time later. His lips were chapped as he panted for air through his dry throat. Changbin’s eyes were bloodshot and heavy bags decorated his eyes. His head snapped up feeling a light pressure on his thigh.

“How are you feeling, B?” you asked softly, bandaging up his thigh.

“You.”

“B?-”

“Did you think you can take advantage of me? Just use me for your own benefit?”

“SpearB, please-”

Changbin cut you off by flipping both your positions.

“What’s wrong? You take advantage of men by sleeping with them and seducing them? Look, I’m in just my boxers.”

“SpearB, stop. You were drugged, just go to sleep and we’ll talk-”

Changbin shut you up with a harsh slap.

“Talk? Just like how you talked to that guy who kidnapped me?” Changbin growled pulling your shorts and panties in one fell swoop.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you tried placing a hand on his chest to get him to slow down. Changbin very quickly pinned both your wrists above your head with a single hand, the other running up your (his) hoodie raking his fingers over your bare flesh.

“Quiet and take it.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to obey him. You let out a shaky exhale when you felt a sharp pressure from down below. You winced once he began snapping his hips against yours without giving you any time to adjust.

“Did you really think you could take advantage of me like that? How does it feel now when the shoes on the other foot?”

“No, please. Just listen- Aah!” he cut you off with a particularly hard thrust. “P-please, that’s not how I truly feel about you. I meant what I said back at the club.”

“Yeah? Then how do you feel?” he growled out.

“I would die for you.”

“Then perish.” Changbin’s eyes darkened as it bored into your soul. He pulled out of your throbbing heat as it pulsated lightly with pain. His sharp gaze looked at you expectantly as you sat up and curl into yourself feeling so exposed and little under his gaze.

You gasp out, nodding solemnly. You delicately pulled out a pocket knife from your discarded shorts you kept on you for self defense. You start just below your jawbone to the left and began slicing, blood is pouring out as the stainless steel blade sliced through skin, flesh and muscle like butter. The sight of the brilliant red liquid spewing out sobers up Changbin a bit. Changbin stops her by grabbing her wrist preventing further damage.

“Why did you stop me?” you seethed, tears pouring down your face.

“Because I didn’t think you were actually going to do it!” He snaps, gritting his teeth together. His breath fanned over your face, his eyes red and bloodshot.

“Let me go, Changbin,” you sniffled, forgetting why you were in this position in the first place.

The sound of his name escaping your lips fueled the burning rage within him. Memories of the club played through his mind like a broken record. The breathy sound of his name escaping your lips mixed in with the loud blaring bass of the club and the chatter of the surrounding clubbers. He finally realized the humiliation of having that last thing he held sacred been outed to the world, leaving him feeling small and vulnerable like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP,” he shouts like a mantra. “Don’t say that name like you OWN ME!”

You tried to back up and crawl away, but the throbbing pain in your nether regions and your putty legs made it difficult.

“B… SpearB, I’m sorry,” you sobbed out.

“JUST SHUT UP!” He very quickly overpowered you and bringing you down flush to the ground with his weight.

“Just shut your whore mouth!” At this point, all Changbin saw was red. His large hands quickly wrapped around your small neck. Tears were dripping from his ducts, the droplets landing on your cheeks. You gasped and gurgled as you clawed his wrists to get him to let go. Crimson red began dotting at his wrists from where your nails broke skin as it slowly rolled down and joined the crimson fluid that was gushing through his fingers from your neck.

“Just shut up,” he sniffled, his voice cracking and breaking at the last word. Your eyes were blown out as tears free flowed down your temples soaking you messed locks. Drool was also dribbling out of the corner of your mouth.

Suddenly black dots began appearing within both your visions for you from oxygen deprivation and for changbin from the side effects finally kicking in. Darkness finally enveloped the pair and Changbin slumped over your body as the light from your eyes faded and you took your final breath.

Daybreak broke, CB97 and J.One found their way into Changbin’s apartment.

CB97 very quickly notices a very naked Changbin and a semi naked you on the floor. He quickly rushed forward pulling Changbin off of you and attempted to shake him awake. J.One carefully pulled down the material of your (Changbin’s) hoodie to cover yourself and pressed his fingers against your neck hoping to find a pulse. He looked up at CB97 and shook his head.

Changbin wakes up in a slight daze, trying to get a footing of what happened last night. His head was throbbing as he blinked multiple times trying to get rid of the blurriness. What was discerning to him was how he could not for the life of him remember anything that happened after he passed out in that chair. Soon his vision focused on the blank stare of your body beside him.

“Y/N?” he whispered out.

“Y/n? Y/N!” he struggled out of CB97’s grip and shoved J.One aside, sending his junior flying backwards straight on his ass.

Changbin tries waking Y/N up by shaking her shoulders vigorously but to no avail. Quickly Changbin pressed an ear to her chest.

“She isn’t breathing!” Changbin sobbed. “Save her!”

CB97 and J.One attempt to pry him off you.

“Changbin stop! She’s gone.”

Changbin got out of their grip and rush over to you, cradling you softly in his arms as if you were made of glass.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry Y/N…”

All CB97 and J.One could do was watch their friend in pity.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids angst #seo changbin #stray kids smut #kinda but not really #3RACHA #SpearB #CB97 #J.One #Bang Chan #Kim Woojin #Lee Know #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader

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nigeiadigitalmarketingcompany · 5 years

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Links 7/30/19

Digital Elixir Links 7/30/19

Yves here. The Democratic Party debates are tonight and tomorrow night. Both evenings, Lambert will host a debate special feature. However, it takes a lot out of him to participate. So he will be actively involved in this evening’s debate (Warren and Sanders as the big names, where the policy issues, what is said and isn’t said are important) and will sponsor an open thread tomorrow (Biden and Harris, which will presumably lend itself to more reader snark).

I’ve Stayed Silent for Too Long: Opossums Deserve Our Love Mother Jones (furzy)

Boar wars: how wild hogs are trashing European cities Guardian

Scientists Stunned By ‘City-Killer’ Asteroid That Just Missed Earth On July 25 Washington Post

Ethiopia Plants 350 Million Trees in a Day To Help Tackle Climate Crisis Guardian

Can Robots Solve America’s Recycling Crisis? CNBC

5G May Drain Batteries, While Base Stations Will Require Three Times As Much Power IEEE

Lithium Industry Buildup Is Outracing the Electric-Car Boom Bloomberg (UserFriendly)

Despite denials, study claims 2017’s mysterious radioactive cloud did come from Russia New Atlas (David L)

Could cheap drugs (up to a century old) be the new way to tackle cancer? That’s the intriguing question raised by patients who swear they work – but profit hungry big pharma is ignoring them… Daily Mail

No, Lyme disease is not an escaped military bioweapon, despite what conspiracy theorists say The Conversation

China?

Rising rhetoric drowns out Sino-US trade talks Asia Times (Kevin W)

Brexit

Boris Johnson Issues Ultimatum to EU Over Brexit Talks as Pound Slumps Bloomberg

UK Made Illegal Copies and Mismanaged Schengen Travelers Database ZDNet. And no doubt passed it to the US.

This is key. No-deal will last for years. And during that period we’ll struggle to sign meaningful deals with other countries until they know what our relationship with the EU will involve. https://t.co/xooynZWg7N

— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) July 29, 2019

New Cold War

China-Russia air patrol shows Japan and South Korea in disarray ejinsight (Kevin W)

Syraqistan

Tanker Seizures and the Threat to the Global Economy from Resurgent Imperialism Craig Murray. Kevin W: “Includes image of actual law in article. Worth scrolling down to last paragraph which he lays out his qualifications to talk on this subject.”

US to reduce Afghanistan forces by 2020 DW

I can’t overstate how many times President Bolsonaro & his government have accused me of committing crimes & threatened to arrest me in the last few days without specifying a single crime other than reporting. This exchange is surreal: the reporter asks 5 times & gets no answer: https://t.co/hr7SyaJfOc

— Glenn Greenwald (@ggreenwald) July 30, 2019

Big Brother is Watching You Watch

Amazon Told Police It Has Partnered With 200 Law Enforcement Agencies Vice

BoJo adviser lays down strict ‘no leaks’ policy — but the warning is instantly leaked to media RT (Kevin W)

United Airlines Is Expanding Its Creepy Biometric Screening Technology to More Airport Hubs Gizmodo (Kevin W)

‘Never-Googlers’ Take Extreme Measures To Avoid Data Tracking Washington Post. I must confess to not being this rigorous. My big issue is the avoidance of being GPS located.

How the West Got China’s Social Credit System Wrong Wired (David L). Who paid for this handwaving? The plan is there and the fact that execution is behind schedule doesn’t make it any nicer.

200 Million Devices — Some Mission-Critical — Vulnerable To Remote Takeover ars technica. Honestly, I’m surprised the number isn’t much much higher.

Capital One Says Breach Hit 100 Million Individuals in U.S. Bloomberg

US Files Lawsuit Against Bitcoin Exchange That Helped Launder Ransomware Profits ZDNet

Trump Transition

Trump Adviser Tom Barrack Pushed for Saudi Nuclear Deal — and Planned to Profit From It ProPublica (UserFriendly)

Experts Say the DOJ Justification for T-Mobile/Sprint Merger Approval Is a Joke Vice

2020

sanders spoke at the @NAACP convention where he got a standing ovation. The @nytimes straight up pretended he didn’t go. @AsteadWesley mentioned every other candidate there. Did Wesley submit it like that? Or did editors cut sanders out? Here’s what happens when you search (1/?) https://t.co/XpGIuFVWjb

— Katie Halper (@kthalps) July 30, 2019

Gabbard’s run: “A different type of vibe” Washington Post. UserFriendly: “Actually somewhat positive.”

Conservative Democratic Ringleader Josh Gottheimer Gets A Progressive Challenger Huffington Post (UserFriendly)

Count every vote and count them all by hand Tim Canova South Florida Sun-Sentinel (furzy)

Journey to power: The history of black voters, 1976 to 2020 NBC (furzy)

Judge Dismisses Covington Student’s Lawsuit Against ‘Washington Post’ Rolling Stone (furzy)

The Dangerous Austerity Politics of the Washington Post Dean Baker, FAIR (UserFriendly)

More Older Couples Stay Together Because They Live Apart Wall Street Journal

Privacy Group Challenges FTC’s Small Facebook Settlement, Also Wants an Admission of Guilt The Verge

Apollo Trawls Records in Hunt for Epstein Links: Report Bloomberg

S&P 500 buybacks are driving an unprecedented cash decline, says Goldman MarketWatch

Facebook warns investors that Libra may never see the light of day CNBC

Deutsche Bank probes access of fired workers to lender’s systems Financial Times. We pointed out DB’s IT is terrible. This is far from the worst possible mishap.

Hiring is Broken And Yours Is Too Rajiv Prab. Important.

Class Warfare

28% of Delivery Drivers Have Tasted Your Food, Survey Finds Restaurant Business Online. If 28% admit to it, the reality has to be worse.

Parents Are Giving Up Custody of Their Kids to Get Need-Based College Financial Aid ProPublica (UserFriendly)

Against Against Billionaire Philanthropy Slate Star Codex (UserFriendly)

Antidote du jour (MGL):

See yesterday’s Links and Antidote du Jour here.

Links 7/30/19

from WordPress https://ift.tt/333Hz3p via IFTTT

#Digital Marketing #SEO #Social Media Marketing #Nigeria Digital Marketing Company #Lead Generation

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freenewstoday · 3 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://freenews.today/2021/04/17/covid-indias-pm-modi-assesses-situation-as-cases-surge-dw-18-04-2021/

COVID: India's PM Modi assesses situation as cases surge | DW | 18.04.2021

India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi chaired a special meeting with top officials on Saturday amid a surge in COVID-19 infections across the country.

Modi reviewed the government response to COVID-19 and discussed ramping up availability of hospital beds, oxygen supply and anti-viral drugs like remdesivir. He insisted on early testing and tracking to reduce mortality.

Modi asked state governments to source medical oxygen from industrial plants, amid shortage of supply across the country. He said the central government will supply 17,092 MT of medical oxygen to states recording a surge in cases.

Modi’s high-level meeting followed a record 24,000 cases in Delhi, India’s capital, alone on Saturday. Also, India saw on Saturday its eighth record daily increase in the last nine days with 234,692 COVID-19 infections and 1,341 related deaths over the last 24 hours.

Delhi’s chief minister, Arvind Kejriwal, said that the situation was “grim and worrisome.”

“We must ensure our bed availability in government and private hospitals to be on a par with that of November last year, and we will further request the central government to increase COVID beds in central government hospitals as well.”

“Delhi’s COVID situation is very serious, the fourth peak of the virus is more dangerous than ever. There should be no dearth in the number of beds available,” said Kejriwal.

Kejriwal’s statement came after desperate appeals across the country for hospital beds and drugs like remdesivir.

Nawab Malik, a minister in the government of Maharashtra, claimed that the central government had asked 16 companies to not supply the critical drug to the state. India’s ruling Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) refuted the claim.

Delhi CM Kejriwal described the COVID-19 situation as ‘grim and worrisome’

Several states in the country such as Maharashtra, Gujarat and Karnataka have imposed curfews and partial lockdowns to prevent the further spread of the deadly virus. Uttar Pradesh, India’s most populous state, has ordered a one-day lockdown for Sunday.

Experts say the harrowing trend of rising COVID-19 infections can be traced back to two factors — extremely virulent mutations of the original virus, and the country’s lax approach to restrictions on daily life to slow the spread of infection.

‘Spreader’ events and rallies

The Modi government has come under fire for holding election rallies and allowing a major Hindu festival, the Kumbh mela, amid the pandemic.

Social media users reacted with outrage on Saturday when it was reported that COVID-19 patients were allowed to vote in the ongoing elections in the state of West Bengal.

Meanwhile, PM Modi appealed to devotees at the Kumbh Mela to keep the festival “symbolic.”

The mayor of Mumbai, India’s financial capital, said that those returning to the city from the Kumbh will have to quarantine in hotels.

Modi requested devotees to keep the Kumbh Mela festival largely ‘symbolic’

The Kumbh Mela religious festival in the northern city of Haridwar has already attracted nearly 5 million largely non-mask wearing Hindu pilgrims to the banks of the Ganges River this week.

Festival organizer Siddharth Chakrapani told AFP news agency that “our faith is the biggest thing for us. It is because of that strong belief that so many people have come here to take a dip in Ganga. They believe that Maa (mother) Ganga will save them from this pandemic.”

Officials in Haridwar said that on Monday and Tuesday alone they detected nearly 2,000 infections among festival goers.

India is also struggling with vaccine shortages and has administered just 114 million jabs so far for a population of over 1.3 billion.

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#asia #Coronavirus #covid #India #Narendra Modi

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reconditarmonia · 5 years

Text

Dear Femdom Exchange Author

Hi! Thank you for writing for me! I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3 (and have been since LJ days, but my LJ is locked down and I only have a DW to see locked things). I have anon messaging off, but mods should be able to contact me if you have any questions.

Dishonored | Fullmetal Alchemist | The Strange Case of Starship Iris

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

Smut Likes: clothing, uniforms, sexual tension, breasts, cunnilingus, grinding, informal d/s elements, intensity; stories whose resolution isn’t the sex scene.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships; the word "pussy"; maledom, even mention thereof; fellatio.

—

Fandom: Dishonored

Ship(s): Billie Lurk → Daud (T/M); Delilah Copperspoon → Billie Lurk (T/M/E)

Billie→Daud: I'd be curious about how this sort of relationship or encounter would fit into their complicated history of closeness/trust and, well, competition/attempted murder. How would it start? (Is it surprising, or inevitable?) How much are they willing to be straight with each other about the implications/symbolism of Billie taking over from Daud and the reveral of their normal dynamic, and getting off on a version of that scenario? What does it take to make it satisfying - willing trust and submission, a fight, service? (They're both very dangerous people, but they also have a lot on their minds and care about each other a lot.) Or, after Knife of Dunwall, is anything different?

Delilah→Billie: I'd love to know more about Billie's time in Delilah's gang. I especially would like to know about how it might have been different for her than for the (other) Brigmore Witches. What does she see in Delilah, or Delilah in her, beyond using each other to get ahead - what do they want from each other? I imagine it might fascinate and please Delilah to have Billie's submission and maybe even some level of trust - to do what? Are the hierarchical rituals around the Witches different from the Whalers, and is Billie pleased by them, or sincere when she does them? AU where Delilah wins?

In both of these there's also such an iconic costume associated with either side that a fic addressing clothing and/or nudity could be interesting.

Fandom-specific DNW/Exception: I have dubcon in my general DNWs but with Delilah's...everything it seems potentially unreasonable to categorically DNW it here. Billie going along with things because she feels like she should or must is fine (although I'd also be very game for fic about her desiring and wanting Delilah/this), but I still don't want to read anything involving altered or removed ability to consent such as mind-altering magic, sex pollen, drugs, etc.

—

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Ship(s): Riza Hawkeye → Roy Mustang (T/M)

I love the loyalty and trust between these two; each has canonically trusted the other to severely hurt or even kill them, so... this seems like a ship where painful/dangerous/frightening stuff might be in order. They're both very competent, weapons-handy, and dangerous (and have a lot of feelings about those things), so what's it like to be using those qualities in this context (Hawkeye) or relinquishing control of them (Mustang)? It's canon that they call each other by their rank even alone, but are they very conscious of the superior-subordinate relationship while Riza's dominating Roy (I'm not sure I can see them kinking just on an unequal power dynamic, even one that's reversed from their day-to-day), or is it a scenario that's more about who they are without that rank difference, if that makes sense? I'd be happy to read this as nonsexual d/s as well, if that's what interests you.

—

Fandom: The Strange Case of Starship Iris

Ship(s): Sana Tripathi → Arkady Patel (T/M/E); Sana Tripathi → Agent Park (T/M)

Sana→Arkady: Sana/Arkady honestly is my OTP for this show; I love the mutual loyalty between them (Arkady’s “If I can put myself between Tripathi and a bullet, that’s the best thing I will have ever done” is what got me into the canon) and that could go in fic either to a really angsty place, a really fluffy place, or anything in between. Does Arkady trust Sana to take charge and screw her out of her mind when she's haunted by the past? Either Arkady taking care of and serving Sana when she's stressed and hurt, or Sana fluffily caring for sub!Arkady? (Sana canonically likes pretty things. Arkady...probably doesn't think of herself as pretty, and Sana definitely wouldn't be comfortable putting her in a "things" category, which could maaaaybe make this interesting to run with re: Sana's pride in Arkady being hers, instead of just impossible?) Or or or! If their first time playing with this dynamic was accidental/spontaneous, like, something slips out because of Feelings and it turns out that's really hot for both of them?

Sana→Park: I was intrigued by seeing this in the tagset, and Park is a fave secondary character. Like Arkady, Park rather needs someone to be nice to him (for any definition of "nice" you choose), and maybe to make things quieter and more organized in his head. I would like to know what Sana would get out of this! (Other than, uh, orgasms, potentially.) Is it a difficult adjustment period at all for her, with the recent IGR agents on board?

#dear author letters #dishonored #fma #starship iris

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violenceeisgolden · 7 years

Text

Tmi/tw/an update

Had such strong cravings for alcohol/such strong urges to say "fuck my health, I'm already fucked, lets fucking lose all this weight you gained in recovery, buy some adderall and vodka and allllll the opiates in the world and at least enjoy however many shitty yrs you have left" except like ???? Okay, so my private insta kept !! Getting !! Fucking deleted !! Idk why, like yeahh i bitch about my drug problems and my mental illness but i have never shared a triggering picture? Meanwhile all these accts with people fkn shooting up are still up? Huh what a concept So anyway, i was thinking of making a side blog. Or i could just vent on here i guess but posting on my side blogs sounds safer. Damn. Been out of the Tumblr world for a while now. Anyway, since it's quite clear that I don't care about a fkn thing anymore... lemme give you all a lil update on the joke that is my life. This one's gonna be EPIC. So. Uh. First things first... I made it five days without any form of any opiate in my system. I did not eat anything in those 5 days. (Wanna lose weight?! Just get addicted to painkillers and develop crohns, then quit your painkillers cold turkey!!! You'll drop 10 lbs in a week!) I did not keep many fluids down, aside from the days when i was in the hospital. I was shitting and puking blood by the fourth day, because my body had nothing left in it to get out. I still smell like the stench of withdrawal - aka, overpowering body odor, desperation, sadness, guilt... etc. On the fourth day, my "stool" was nothing but black and blood.. I knew my potassium was low, not including sodium, etc. Was starting to get chest pains. Blah blah blah. IST was acting up. Whatever. I knew I had no choice but to go to my shitty hometown clinic (and... yeah i hate NOTHING more than that fucking place). Luckily, I got this cool 1st shift dr who appreciated my extensive knowledge of my esophageal and colonic conditions. She also gave me morphine. But I mean, 4mg through an IV is like... nothing. But.. that fucking rush. Whenever I get IV narcotics in hospitals, it's a nice reminder for me to forever stay tf away from needles. Anywhoooo Moving along. So i got some fluids/potassium, two of my veins are dead now (not even bc of drug use, as i stated above.. legitimately because I've had one too many IVs placed or wtf ever) so they had to stick me a million and one times and i was like :))))) yeahhhh keep causing more pain guys because ya know. I can just fucking take it obviously!!! And then.. this bitch drops the bomb that i realllyyyyy have been hoping was NOT true for like... ya know... a fucking year... that... okay fuck it, you guys all know i am a shit person anyway, lets add onto it.. anyway yeah. I have herpes. And my HPV is progressing. Still dunno about those cancerous cells bc no one tells ME ANYTHING but she said i have a severe pelvic infection that is travelling towards my liver. So they're like "lets do a REALLY intense course of antibiotics" and im like ??? Fucking a man im getting mad just writing this all out. Anyway i was like uhm. How tf am i supposed to keep down antibiotics when i CAN'T EVEN KEEP DOWN WATER THAT IS WHY I'M FUCKING HERE JFCCCC. And they were like "yeah we're aware but you legit do not have a choice" bc yeah, don't want my liver to go downhill (I've been such a lil fuck to my drs lately.... could not care less tho bc they deserve my bluntness) so i called my new case worker (she is super chill, super gay, lets me swear and call my drs fuckers as much as i want, which is dope) and basically explained, she said she's gonna try and get me back on subs legally so i can at least nourish myself and keep my health up (ill still be in pain but I'm learning that id rather have my body not slowly dying and be in pain... what a cool sacrifice. I also was like... "Hey yeah no hospital is gonna admit me rn... and my health is worse now than it was in '14 when i weighed 60 lbs less so like... I'm going to use street subs. Or opiates in general. For a few days. So i can get my electrolytes back somehow... also did i mention i have herpes? *bawling ensues* anywhooo... Just thought I'd let you know." And she was like "Fair enough. You need to eat." And i was like okay cool tell my dr and his bitchy nurse that usually replies to my messages bc i do not need anymore fucking stigma rn .. okay? Tyvm" so that was.. that i guess. So yeah. I used. On day 5. And... i didn't even truly fucking want to. That's the worst fucking part of this whole fucked up bullshit... I WANT TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG AND SHOW THEM THAT I CAN DO THIS. And i could have. If it wasn't for my poor health... i fucking could have. And I'm gonna tell that to my pdoc when I see him. But you know what? I fucking ate. I kept down a loooottttt of liquids. Opiate wds technically cannot kill you. And the thing is... I've been through the "near fatal" ones (booze and benzos)... but I always caught my alcohol dts super fast, got treated and then away i went. But no. Opiate withdrawals will not be dangerous~~~..... to a person who is in decent health. I say decent bc lbs if you're using them either legally or illegally, something is already prob wrong lol. I remember a story that my ex sponsor who is now a good but distant friend (who relapsed, and when she relapsed, we became close lol shes sober now tho dw) told me once about opiate dts... she said one of her friends was so dehydrated, malnourished, etc... that he almost did die. And it took him almost dying for anyone to take him seriously. And, as I was laying in that miserable hospital bed... I remembered that. Opiate wds cannot kill you, but you're gonna wanna a) kill yourself, because it's honestly fucking easier that way (or so your mind will tell you) and b) if you're in poor health... try and find a detox center/hospital that will take you. ASAP. On tuesday... fuck i lost my train of thought... (in other news, i now have a promethazine script and... boy oh boy lol probably the best non naroticc/not scjeduled drug I've ever gotten my grubby lil hands on)... yeah idk that's all I publicly got rn. If you actually read all this... 👀 @ you, Ashley, bc ik you're the only one who reads my shit on here anymore (love you for that, btw 💜)... but yeah if you read this all, you guys are the real MVPs... I'm gonna start using one of my private blogs on here. Mainly because..welll...its fucking private and also really enjoy the fact that i saved the URL "clonqz3pain" so... yeah that's all I got. Hope you all are doing better than me.

#me #tl;dr #tw drugs #tw numbers #opiate withdrawal

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profrjharvey · 5 years

Text

Causes of olfactory loss and the impact of when we can't smell

New Post has been published on http://sydneyentclinic.com/richard-harvey/2018/11/11/causes-of-olfactory-loss-and-the-impact-of-when-we-cant-smell/

Causes of olfactory loss and the impact of when we can't smell

When we can’t smell, the sensation is very disturbing. The flavor of food that we detect is 70% related to smell. Smell or olfaction is such a an important but often unrated human sense. Our sense of smell is one of the most primitive sensory functions in humans. Many thousands of years ago, it was our primary sense to detect food, avoid danger and to find a mate. While in modern life, scavenging for food no longer requires a great smell but google and your e-wallet, the olfactory sense is still linked to the very primitive emotions.

youtube

Olfaction drives the valence of the odorous item, whether is be pleasant or not. The sense of smell is associated with food, localization, memory, appetite, detecting spoiled foods and warnings against danger (microbial threats, poisonous fumes). Aromatherapy and phytotherapy (essential oils and fragrance) are often cited to enable pain relief, relaxation, anxiety reduction and enhanced energy.

Although many patients will say they can’t smell, there are several types of olfactory disturbance that can occur. We describe smell loss as Dysosmis (difficulty with odor identification), Paraosmia (sensation of an odor different that the typical for that substance) and Phantosmia (perception of an odor when none is present). Hyposmia is simply the diminished ability to detect odours and Anosmia (the complete lack of smell).

The common causes of smell loss from population studies, are:

post viral upper respiratory infection (URI) (18–45%)

nasal/sinus disease (7–56%)

head trauma (8–20%)

exposure to toxins/drugs (2–6%)

congenital anosmia (0–4%)

Assessing for smell loss

We currently perform three component to assess the olfactory system, Firstly we examine the nose and olfactory cleft as part of an overall history and examination:

An example of an uncommon cause for smell loss – a nasal tumour

A more common cause of smell loss – inflammatory nasal polyps

Then we perform an objective assessment of smell in patients who feel they can’t smell. This is highly validated and objectifies the ability to identify, discriminate and determine a threshold for odorants.

The comprehensive identification, discrimination and threshold testing we perform with Prof Harvey

Finally, imaging is performed. This will often involve an MRI of the brain and the nerve of smell (the olfactory bulb and tract). The olfactory bulb can be measured and its volume is good reference as to whether an injury has occurred to this part of the smell system. Normal values are those above the 10th centile ( <45yro 58mm3, >45yro 46mm3). A neuroquant study is incorporated into this to assess the higher cognitive function.

Measuring the olfactory bulb volumes has important diagnostic and prognostic implications

When we can’t smell it greatly affects daily function:

Food intake

Decrease appetite

Around lower enjoyment

Isolated from social experience

Increase appetite

Attempting to taste food

Disruption of appetite suppression

Safety

identifying spoilt food

Fire, gas and smoke detection

Anxiety

In ability to perceive body odor

Over use of perfume

Impairs sex life

Adapted from: Croy I, Negoias S, Novakova L, Landis BN, Hummel T. Learning about the functions of the olfactory system from people without a sense of smell. PLoS ONE. 2012;7(3):e33365.

When these occur, it impacts our social life, communications with others, quality of life and may contribute to depression. This is especially true when smell loss becomes the ‘second’ sensory loss in an adult who might have lost sight or hearing.

What does it mean if we can’t smell and yet there is nothing wrong with the nose, sinuses or the nerve of smell itself?

I recent study in PLOS One has demonstrated that such, otherwise unexplained smell loss, is potential sign that our body’s biological clock is running out of time. The Olfactory system is one of the few partf of the central nervous system that can regenerate. It has been postulated that in adults 57-85yro, that when smell loss occurs and all other factors have been adjusted for (ie associated conditions that might also decrease life and potentially impact smell) that the mortality rate of those with anosmia is more than 3 time s(300%+) or an OR, 3.37 [95%CI 2.04, 5.57] that of those people that still had an intact smell sense.

Adapted from: Pinto JM, Wroblewski KE, Kern DW, Schumm LP, McClintock MK. Olfactory dysfunction predicts 5-year mortality in older adults. PLoS ONE. 2014;9(10)

And unfortunately, if that’s not depressing enough, there is a clear relationship with the loss of smell as preceding symptom of degenerative brain disease such as Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimers dementia:

Condition Age (95% CI) of disease % with premorbid anosmia/hyposmia Years preceding event Parkinson’s Ponsen et al, 2004 59.2+/-5.8 10% 9 to 19 months Alzheimer’s Devanand et al, 2010 81.25+/-5.64 24% 2-4 YRS

But fortunately, there are many simple and local causes of smell loss. When we can’t smell, there is most likely to be post viral or sino-nasal cause, in which treatments are available. Even for those patients with olfactory centres that have been severely affected by viral events or external volatile injury, techniques such as olfactory re-training can greatly assist.

More about sino-nasal disorders and care:

visit Prof Richard Harvey’s you tube channel

#can't smell #can't taste #loss of smell #olfaction #polyps #sinusitis

0 notes

todaynewsstories · 5 years

Text

Greek universities provide safe haven for drug gangs | Europe| News and current affairs from around the continent | DW

When George Michalopoulos, a freshman at the Athens University of Economics and Business (ASOE), one of Greece’s top universities, went to register for classes in September, the 18-year old was shocked to see dozens of destitute and disheveled men, lined up at the campus entrance, shooting up drugs of all types.

“It was a rude and awful awakening,” he told DW. “It shocked and scared every morsel inside me — not because I feared an attack by an addict, but because no one was doing anything about it. It had just been left to fester, like it has been for decades.”

But now, in a desperate call for action, Greek academics are urging the leftist government to crack down on drug gangs at state universities, warning that staff and students’ lives are in grave danger.

The appeal by the POSDEP federation that represents the nation’s top professors and researchers, follows protest action taken by academics in Athens. College classes were called off for a day last week to pressure the government to clear up campus grounds that have turned into drug dens and safe havens for offenders exploiting a contentious law banning police from setting foot on campus grounds.

Contentious legislation gives drug dealers free hand

The controversial legislation was introduced in the 1980s in response to a seven-year military dictatorship that sent tanks to quash a 1973 student uprising in central Athens. While the law opts to safeguard the freedom of liberal thought, it has given drug dealers, addicts and other criminals a free hand to overrun campuses will illicit activity, posing a threat to students and staff. The rules were scrapped in 2011 but reinstated six years later by the leftist government of Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras.

“We have exhausted all our administrative, financial and legal resources in addressing this matter,” the academics said in the call for action. “But the reality is that drug gangs have taken over campus grounds…. And the state must finally assume its responsibility and clean up the situation fast before we mourn the death of a victim.”

Student bodies at a rash of universities were also holding urgent assemblies to consider potential action.

“It’s terrible,” Anastasia Vlachoyanni, an 18-year-old freshman at ASOE, told DW. “You lose all motivation and inspiration when you walk to class in the morning watching mounds of addicts shooting up heroin or smoking crystal meth. “It’s not their fault that they have been abandoned, but it’s an embarrassing sight that undermines the standing of our school and Greek education as a whole. Most importantly, though, it makes all of us feel extremely vulnerable and unsafe.”

Drug addicts litter the landscape

Indeed, just meters away, in the front courtyard of ASOE’s towering neo-Classical building, groups of Pakistani men were seen huddling over a brown bench, selling heroin, crack cocaine and amphetamines to users freely entering and exiting the university’s grounds.

Used syringes and other drug paraphernalia lay scattered along pathways winding through the campus’ tree-lined walkways. And on the south-side of ASOE, scores of students were seen maneuvering over an obstacle course of drugged-out users in order to collect textbooks for the fall semester.

One group of men in frayed wool sweaters lay on the pavement, while a woman with gaunt and rice-paper skin wailed for a hit. And another group of disheveled men, some of them in flannel pajama bottoms, were seen breaking off twigs from campus citrus trees to clean their crack pipes.

“This is nothing compared to what happens at night fall,” said Ellie Dokola, a first year computer science student at ASOE. “All of these people take haven inside. And then, prostitutes come out adding another layer to scenes of lawlessness and criminal activity unfolding here.”

“Late night reading or studying is out of the question,” she told DW.

Similar scenes were also visible at other leading universities including Athens’ Law School and the Polytechnic where gangs routinely sneak in to make Molotov cocktail bombs.

“There have always been isolated cases of drug trafficking and criminal activity in Greece’s universities,” Professor George Babiniotis told DW. “But this situation today is unprecedented. Students, staff and administration — all of us are at a loss.”

Government refuses to budge

Experts say the crisis is a byproduct of a brutal eight-year financial recession that has triggered record levels of destitution. Crime rates and drug and alcohol use have skyrocketed, as has prostitution.

Last month as harrowing scenes from country’s drug-infested universities went viral on local media outlets, Babiniotis urged academics to suspend teaching indefinitely until the state moves to clean up the campuses.

But the Tsipras-led government has refused to heed the call, describing any crackdown as going “against democracy.”

“That leaves us fending for ourselves,” said Michalopoulos, the first-year ASOE student. “We’ve made it a rule now to never wander around [the grounds] without another student or two. But if the situation deteriorates, we may have no other option than to transfer abroad and leave the country like thousands of other young Greeks.”

Read more: ‘Brain drain’ sets in at Greek universities as thousands study abroad

The post Greek universities provide safe haven for drug gangs | Europe| News and current affairs from around the continent | DW appeared first on Today News Stories.

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BULLETIN: NORTH KOREA says it plans to launch missiles toward GUAM — HALEY loses two top aides — GEORGE gets Mooch for Sunday intvw — BILL CLINTON's reading list

BULLETIN — NORTH KOREA SAYS IT’S PLANNING TO FIRE MISSILES TOWARD THE U.S. TERRITORY IN AUGUST — AP’s Eric Talmadge in SEOUL at 4:59 a.m.: “North Korea has announced a detailed plan to launch a salvo of ballistic missiles toward the U.S. Pacific territory of Guam, a major military hub and home to U.S. bombers. If carried out, it would be the North’s most provocative missile launch to date.

“The announcement Thursday warned that the North is finalizing a plan to fire four of its Hwasong-12 missiles over Japan and into waters around the tiny island, which hosts 7,000 U.S. military personnel on two main bases and has a population of 160,000.

Story Continued Below

“It said the plan, which involves the missiles hitting waters 30 to 40 kilometers (19 to 25 miles) from the island, could be sent to leader Kim Jong Un for approval within a week or so. It would be up to Kim whether the move is actually carried out. … North Korea, no stranger to bluffing, frequently uses extremely bellicose rhetoric with warnings of military action to keep its adversaries on their heels. It generally couches its threats with language stating it will not attack the United States unless it has been attacked first or has determined an attack is imminent. …

“‘We keep closely watching the speech and behavior of the U.S.,’ it said. Such a move would not merely be a test launch, but a demonstration of military capabilities that could easily lead to severe consequences. South Korea’s military responded by saying North Korea will face a “stern and strong” response from Washington and Seoul. Taking it a step further, Japan’s Defense Minister Itsunori Onodera told parliament a missile attack on the U.S. territory would be a Japanese national emergency because it would threaten Japan’s existence as a nation.” http://bit.ly/2ftIrtL

— ERIC TALMADGE is the AP’s correspondent in Pyongyang. His very cool Instagram feed http://bit.ly/2wKTqlV

**SUBSCRIBE to Playbook: http://politi.co/2lQswbh

TOP-ED — SUSAN RICE in the NYT, “It’s Not Too Late on North Korea”: “We have long lived with successive Kims’ belligerent and colorful rhetoric — as ambassador to the United Nations in the Obama administration, I came to expect it whenever we passed resolutions. What is unprecedented and especially dangerous this time is the reaction of President Trump. Unscripted, the president said on Tuesday that if North Korea makes new threats to the United States, ‘they will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.’ These words risk tipping the Korean Peninsula into war, if the North’s leader, Kim Jong-un, believes them and acts precipitously.

“Either Mr. Trump is issuing an empty threat of nuclear war, which will further erode American credibility and deterrence, or he actually intends war next time Mr. Kim behaves provocatively. The first scenario is folly, but a United States decision to start a pre-emptive war on the Korean Peninsula, in the absence of an imminent threat, would be lunacy.” http://nyti.ms/2vRgYIi

INVESTORS SEEK SHELTER — FT: “The Swiss franc led a rally among haven assets across global markets on Wednesday as investors retreated from equities in the wake of escalating rhetoric between North Korea and the U.S. … The Swiss franc, often favoured in times of stress for its perceived stability, made its most notable gains against the euro, strengthening by as much as 1.5 per cent. Against the dollar the franc rose as much as 1.4 per cent.” http://on.ft.com/2urTWV1

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS (@georgestephanopoulos): “EXCLUSIVE: I’ll sit down live with @Scaramucci for his first interview since being fired from the WH, this Sunday only on @ThisWeekABC” … @StephenAtHome: “On Monday 8/14 Anthony Scaramucci will be my guest on @colbertlateshow. This is just a heads up for our censors to get ready! #themooch”.

Good Thursday morning. COINCIDENCE?: “Fire and fury” is a mission in the videogame “World of Warcraft.” Who had a business and personal connection to “World of Warcraft”? Stephen K. Bannon (http://slct.al/2wKMlli).

SPOTTED: Stephen Miller, sans tie in a summer linen sportcoat, yesterday outside Woodward Table on 15th Street with his dry cleaning.

DEPARTURE LOUNGE — “U.S. Ambassador Haley Loses Two Key Aides at United Nations,” by Bloomberg’s Kambiz Foroohar: “U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley has lost two of her top aides, key departures that come at a time of growing international tensions between the U.S. and North Korea.

“Haley’s Chief of Staff Steven Groves resigned, as did her communications director Jonathan Wachtel. Haley said on Twitter Wednesday it was because of ‘family concerns.’ The departures also come ahead of Haley’s trip to Vienna to review Iran’s nuclear activities with the UN’s International Atomic Energy Agency. Groves, an adviser who had arrived from the conservative think tank Heritage Foundation had argued for the U.S. to ‘sever relations’ with UN’s Human Rights Council for criticizing Israel and to pull out of the Paris climate change agreement. …

“‘Both Jonathan&Steve have recently encountered family concerns,’ Haley said. ‘They will always be a part of the team & dear friends.’” https://bloom.bg/2vQC4GT

ATTN. DONALD TRUMP, MARC SHORT, STEVEN MNUCHIN and GARY COHN — MITCH MCCONNELL SPEAKS — by the North Kentucky Tribune’s managing editor Mark Hansel: “‘A Congress goes on for two years and part of the reason I think that the story line is that we haven’t done much is because, in part, the President and others have set these early time lines about things need to be done by a certain point,’ McConnell said. …

“‘Don’t start judging [too] soon, the accomplishments of this congress, sending bills to this president, who will sign them,’ McConnell said. ‘I’m not going to tell you when we are going to finish tax reform, but we’ll finish it. That’s the way we begin to change America.’” … ‘I’ve been, and I will be again today, not a fan of tweeting — I’ve said that to him privately and I’ve said it at other events publicly,’ McConnell said. ‘I think it would be helpful if the President was a little bit more on message.’” http://bit.ly/2ww8Rih

— SO, JUST TO REVIEW … This event was Monday, but has not gotten much attention (h/t Morning Money). The man who controls the Senate’s calendar is not setting a timeline for tax reform, and he wishes the White House would stop setting artificial deadlines. And he says the president should stay on message. Over to you, Mr. President.

ADAM NAGOURNEY — NYT, A1 — “Democratic Fight in California Is a Warning for the National Party”: “California Democrats have emerged as something else: a cautionary tale for a national party debating how to rebuild and seize back power. Even at a time of overall success, state Democrats are torn by a bitter fight for the party leadership, revealing the kind of divisions — between insiders and outsiders, liberals and moderates — that unsettled the national party last year and could threaten its success in coming years. …

“The fight pits Eric C. Bauman, a longtime party leader, against Kimberly Ellis, a Bay Area activist. Mr. Bauman won the election by just over 60 votes out of 3,000 cast at the party convention in May, but Ms. Ellis has refused to concede, claiming voting improprieties, like permitting ineligible people to vote for Mr. Bauman. … Ms. Ellis, 44, has from the start presented herself as an outsider: It is her first run for party leadership. … Mr. Bauman has spent 30 years working for the Democratic Party, including leading the Los Angeles County Democratic Party. He was a delegate for Mrs. Clinton in last year’s presidential election. With his gruff demeanor and a strong-as-ever Bronx accent — no matter that he came here 40 years ago — he has been called ‘Boss Bauman,’ as Mr. Bauman himself noted in an interview.” http://nyti.ms/2vlJYYl

****** A message from the Coalition for Affordable Prescription Drugs (CAPD): If you know only one fact about rising drug costs, know this one: drug makers set prices for prescription drugs. To help manage nearly double-digit price increases, employers, unions and government programs use PBMs to negotiate lower net prices to help curb costs for employers and patients. Learn more at affordableprescriptiondrugs.org ******

WHAT HAPPENED TO DWS? — MARC CAPUTO: “Blowback from staffer scandal burns Wasserman Schultz”: “The chatter about a House leadership post is gone. So is talk of statewide office. After Hillary Clinton’s defeat, there’s no prospect of an administration job for Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz. She’s under fire for mismanaging an IT employee under a House IT investigation who was arrested on a seemingly unrelated mortgage fraud charge. Wasserman Schultz broke her public silence on Awan last week, portraying herself as the victim of ‘right wing media’ attacks rooted in anti-Muslim bigotry.

“Here’s fellow Florida Democrat and DNC member Nikki Barnes saying what many others are saying privately: ‘We wish she would go away and stop being so public by doubling down on negative stories … None of this makes sense. It doesn’t sound like racial profiling … there must have been something for her …. This adds to Debbie being re-branded as the Democrats’ disastrous destruction,’ Barnes said. ‘Those of us on the DNC know we have to rebrand ourselves and earn the people’s trust. And unfortunately Debbie’s name does not scream trust. It screams power. It screams limited access. It screams WikiLeaks now. DNC lawsuit. It screams a lot of negative things to the public. That’s not how we want to rebrand ourselves.’” http://politi.co/2vRpSGJ

STRANGE STORY OF THE WEEK — “Hearing loss of US diplomats in Cuba blamed on covert device,” by AP’s Matthew Lee in D.C. and Michael Weissenstein in Havana: “In the fall of 2016, a series of U.S. diplomats began suffering unexplained losses of hearing, according to officials with knowledge of the investigation into the case. Several of the diplomats were recent arrivals at the embassy, which reopened in 2015 as part of former President Barack Obama’s reestablishment of diplomatic relations with Cuba.

“Some of the diplomats’ symptoms were so severe that they were forced to cancel their tours early and return to the United States, officials said. After months of investigation, U.S. officials concluded that the diplomats had been exposed to an advanced device that operated outside the range of audible sound and had been deployed either inside or outside their residences. It was not immediately clear if the device was a weapon used in a deliberate attack, or had some other purpose.” http://bit.ly/2wKAbsz

— DEPT. OF DIPLOMACY: “Trump friend Tom Barrack said to be in talks to become ambassador to Mexico,” by Josh Dawsey: “Tom Barrack, a real estate investor and a close friend of President Donald Trump’s, is in talks to become ambassador to Mexico, according to three White House officials and advisers familiar with the matter. The high-profile post — one of the most important in Trump’s orbit, given his tense relationship with the country and his crackdown on immigration along the border — has been the subject of intense talks within the administration … Barrack, a gregarious billionaire, is the front-runner for the position but has expressed some concerns about taking it, one of the White House officials said. It is unclear whether he will end up accepting, ‘but it is his if he wants it,’ one of these people said.” http://politi.co/2wwuT4u

GET IT YET? — BREITBART VS. MCMASTER — “Exclusive – Zionist Organization of America Analysis Determines McMaster Hostile to Trump, Calls for Reassignment,” by Matt Boyle. http://bit.ly/2vHRQ7s

ALEX ISENSTADT SCOOP — “Top Trump donor ponies up to take out Flake,” by Alex Isenstadt: “One of Donald Trump’s most generous political benefactors is providing a six-figure donation to a super PAC devoted to unseating Sen. Jeff Flake, an Arizona Republican who has been fiercely critical of the president. Robert Mercer, a reclusive hedge fund billionaire who was intimately involved in Trump’s rise and helped to bankroll his 2016 campaign, is contributing $300,000 to a super PAC supporting former state Sen. Kelli Ward, who is challenging Flake in a Republican primary next year. It’s the latest sign that Trump’s political machine is preparing to take on Flake, whose persistent attacks have angered the president. The White House has met with Ward and two other Republicans who are mulling primary challenges to the Arizona senator, state Treasurer Jeff DeWit and former state GOP Chairman Robert Graham.” http://politi.co/2urDacO

SCOOP – “Feds sought cooperation from Manafort’s son-in-law,” by Josh Dawsey and Darren Samuelsohn with Daniel Lippman: “Federal investigators sought cooperation from Paul Manafort’s son-in-law in an effort to increase pressure on President Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman, according to three people familiar with the probe. Investigators approached Jeffrey Yohai, who has partnered in business deals with Manafort, earlier this summer, setting off ‘real waves’ in Manafort’s orbit, one of these people said.

“Another of these people said investigators are trying to get ‘into Manafort’s head.’ Manafort, who is a focus of the broad federal and congressional investigations into Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential campaign, is also under investigation for his business and real estate transactions, including some that involve Yohai. … It is unclear if investigators have secured cooperation from Yohai, who also hasn’t been accused of wrongdoing. … Mueller’s targeting of both Manafort and his son-in-law over potential criminal wrongdoing is a familiar tactic in white-collar cases, commonly called ‘climbing the ladder.’” http://politi.co/2ustbzZ

FOR TY COBB — “Trump’s Legal Team Is No Match for Mueller’s: The president could learn from Bill and Hillary Clinton’s years of litigation,” by Bloomberg’s Tom Schoenberg with Shannon Pettypiece: “As Mueller adds experienced prosecutors and broadens his investigation, Trump’s legal team still appears disorganized and understaffed. An army of well-paid lawyers would help the president get in front of the investigation: preparing responses to allegations before hearing about them from prosecutors or reporters, anticipating where Mueller is going, and developing a counternarrative to stymie him. … Instead, Trump’s defense has been almost entirely reactive—responding to the latest bombshell report with uninformed statements by surrogates. …

“Bill and Hillary Clinton — both Yale Law grads — set up a war room on the top floor of the old executive office building next to the White House, where lawyers and staff would go through documents that needed to be turned over. Meetings were held several times a day, with lawyers shuttling between the White House, the executive building, and the offices of Skadden and Williams & Connolly a few blocks away. Dowd and Sekulow have offices less than a 10-minute walk from the White House, and at this point the legal team doesn’t see any need to set up a Clinton-style war room. … Trying to deal with Mueller without a high-powered legal operation ‘is like going to a knife fight with a stick of butter in your hand,’ says Nicholas Allard, a former Washington attorney who’s now the dean of Brooklyn Law School. ‘The team should reflect the importance of what’s at stake, which is nothing less than the future of this presidency.’” https://bloom.bg/2hN5kcr

TRUMP’S THURSDAY — THE PRESIDENT is lunching with VP Mike Pence at Bedminster.

ERIC BOLLING SUES … “Eric Bolling initiates lawsuit against reporter behind sexting story,” by Hadas Gold: “On Wednesday, Bolling filed a ‘summons with notice’ in New York State Supreme Court against [Yashar] Ali, seeking $50 million in damages for defamation. Ali must respond within 20 days, demanding that Bolling file a complaint, after which Bolling will have 20 days to file his response before the suit goes forward.” http://politi.co/2wwvDXy

PHOTO DU JOUR: Cranes are seen on the south lawn of the White House as it undergoes renovations on August 9. | Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty

IN THE SKIES — “Unarmed Russian Air Force jet overflies the Pentagon, Capitol, CIA,” by CNN’s Jon Ostrower, Peter Morris and Noah Gray: “An unarmed Russian Air Force aircraft overflew the US Capitol, the Pentagon, Central Intelligence Agency and Joint Base Andrews at low altitude on Wednesday as part of a longstanding treaty that allows the militaries of the United States and Russia to observe the other from the air, according to two people familiar with the flight. The flight was part of the Treaty on Open Skies, which allows military aircraft from the United States and Russia and other nations to fly aerial observation flights to observe military sites of the 34 signatory nations. The Russian Air Force Tupolev Tu-154 on Wednesday afternoon passed at around 3,700 feet over downtown Washington and Joint Base Andrews in Maryland, where Air Force One is based, according to tracking website Flightradar24.

“The jet is authorized to enter P-56, the highly secure airspace surrounding the White House. … A second flight by the same jet [was] planned for between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. Wednesday, when the Russian jet [was scheduled to] overfly Bedminster, New Jersey, where President Donald Trump is vacationing … A law enforcement source told CNN that the plane also overflew Camp David, the presidential retreat in the Catoctin Mountains, the Trump National Golf Course in Virginia, and Mount Weather, one of the U.S. government’s secret relocation bunkers. United States Air Force personnel were on the flight and the aircraft is capable of a variety of intelligence gathering.” http://cnn.it/2vpKMtw

THE 16-YEAR-OLD WAR — “Trump’s indecision on Afghanistan leaves generals in lurch,” by Wesley Morgan: “U.S. and Afghan military commanders battling the Taliban and the Islamic State are encountering an obstacle they never expected, sources close to them say: months of indecision by President Donald Trump on whether to commit thousands of additional American troops. Instead of approving their plan for more troops as anticipated, the president has caught his generals off guard by questioning whether the 16-year-long effort to stabilize Afghanistan is still worth it, according to current and former military officials familiar with the conversations. …

“Amid the uncertainty, the security situation on the ground continues to deteriorate. Deaths of Afghan security forces in the early months of 2017 were ‘shockingly high,’ the special inspector general for Afghanistan reconstruction recently reported, continuing a years-long upward trend. The Afghan government ‘controls or influences’ only 60 percent of the country’s 407 districts as of early this summer, down from 65 percent the same time last year, according to the U.S. military headquarters in Kabul.” http://politi.co/2urJ4uc

NETANYAHU’S STAND — “Netanyahu Accuses ‘the Left’ and the Media of Trying to Oust Him,” by NYT’s Isabel Kershner in Jerusalem: “In Trumpian fashion, Mr. Netanyahu denounced the ‘fake news media,’ which he said had joined with ‘the left’ in what he called ‘an obsessive and unprecedented witch hunt against me and my family, in order to carry out a coup.’ The point, he said, was to press the law enforcement authorities to file charges, no matter what.” http://nyti.ms/2vpocRX

****** A message from the Coalition for Affordable Prescription Drugs (CAPD): Pharmacy benefit managers negotiate the lowest net price for prescriptions on behalf of employers and other health care purchasers; however, the list price – the important starting point for those negotiations — continues to rise, at a rate of nearly ten percent in 2016 alone. Increased competition, faster reviews of generics and biosimilars and ending anti-competitive practices can also bring down the cost of medications for patients. Learn more at affordableprescriptiondrugs.org ******

MEDIAWATCH — “United Nations Appoints Alison Smale of The New York Times to Top Post for Public Information,” by NYT’s Somini Sengupta: “The United Nations on Wednesday named Alison Smale, a veteran correspondent and editor at The New York Times, as its most senior official in charge of shaping the 193-member organization’s global public image. As the next under secretary general for global communications, Ms. Smale, 62, will join the cabinet of the United Nations’ top leader, Secretary General António Guterres, and be among a small circle of influential women around him. … Ms. Smale, a British citizen, is currently The Times’ bureau chief in Berlin. She had been the executive editor of The International Herald Tribune, based in Paris, for four years, before it was renamed The International New York Times in 2013.” http://nyti.ms/2hMgrSL

–“Disney paying at least $177 million to settle ‘pink slime’ lawsuit,” by CNN’s Tom Kludt: “In a footnote on the company’s quarterly earnings report on Tuesday, Disney said it paid $177 million that was ‘incurred in connection with the settlement of litigation,’ at least some of which was related to a years-long legal dispute with South Dakota-based meat processor Beef Products Inc. … [A] lawyer for BPI told CNNMoney that its settlement was worth even more than $177 million. … Even just $177 million would likely represent roughly a year’s worth of advertising revenue for ABC’s evening news program, a significant sum for the network and a sign of how damaging defamation suits can be for media outlets after the Hulk Hogan case sent Gawker into bankruptcy.” http://cnnmon.ie/2vQzXD0

–“Google reveals sites with ‘failing’ ads, including Forbes, LA Times,” by Digiday’s Lucia Moses: “On June 1, Google rolled out its Ad Experience Report, a tool it’s using to evaluate and score websites based on their ad creative and design. It provides screenshots and videos of ads that have been identified as annoying to users, such as pop-ups and autoplaying video ads with sound, and ‘prestitial’ ads with countdown timers.

“So far, Google has identified about 700 sites as warranting corrective action out of around 100,000 sites it’s reviewed so far. Half of the roughly 700 got a ‘failing’ status and the other half a ‘warning.’ … Those listed as failing include Forbes; Tronc-owned Orlando Sentinel, Sun-Sentinel and Los Angeles Times; Bauer Xcel Media’s Life & Style and In Touch Weekly; The Wrap; Chicago Sun-Times; Tribune Broadcasting’s Fox 13 Now; and Sporting News.” http://bit.ly/2vRCRIr

–NANCY YOUSSEF is leaving BuzzFeed to cover intelligence for the Wall Street Journal later this month.

TV TONIGHT — Tonight on “NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt,” Lester Holt is sitting down with SNL’s Colin Jost and Michael Che ahead of Thursday’s premiere of the summer edition of “Weekend Update.” 1-min. video http://nbcnews.to/2voe9fy

BILL CLINTON’s summer reading list – he posts on Facebook: “Reading has always been one of my greatest pleasures, so in honor of National Book Lovers Day, below are some titles I’ve read and recommend, in no particular order.” His picks: “Killers of the Flower Moon,” by David Grann … “Empire of Cotton: A Global History,” by Sven Beckert … “House of Spies,” by Daniel Silva … “A Great Reckoning (A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel),” by Louise Penny … “The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements,” by Eric Hoffer … “Yitzhak Rabin: Soldier, Leader, Statesman,” by Itamar Rabinovich …

… “Boys in the Trees: A Memoir,” by Carly Simon … “How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia,” by Mohsin Hamid … “Blindsided: The True Story of One Man’s Crusade Against Chemical Giant DuPont for a Boy with No Eyes,” by Jim Ferraro … “Gratitude,” by Oliver Sacks … “Warnings: Finding Cassandras to Stop Catastrophes,” by Richard A. Clarke and R.P. Eddy … “High Noon: The Hollywood Blacklist and the Making of an American Classic,” by Glenn Frankel. http://bit.ly/2hN5dNF

TRANSITIONS — Jennie Westbrook Courts is joining Precision Strategies as a principal on the communications team. She was most recently at Subject Matter.

OBAMA ALUMNI — Krish Vignarajah, who was policy director to former First Lady Michelle Obama, is entering the race for governor of Maryland. Before the Obama White House, Vignarajah, a lifelong Maryland resident, served as a senior adviser at the State Department under Secretaries Hillary Clinton and John Kerry.

WEST WING ARRIVAL LOUNGE — Emily Mallon has started as executive assistant to chief of staff John Kelly. She previously was at DHS and worked on the transition.

SUNDAY SO FAR — “FOX NEWS SUNDAY”: Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.). Panel: Newt Gingrich, Donna Edwards, Tom Rogan and Marie Harf.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD – Liz Breckenridge, administrative director for Sen. Bob Casey (D-Pa.) and a Politico alum, and Ken White, senior counsel in the legal division at Office of Personnel Management, post on Instagram: “Ari [Benjamin] White joined our family [Wednesday]. He arrived a solid 7 lbs and 20 inches. Words cannot explain the love we have for him already.” Instapic http://bit.ly/2vRdiX5

HAPPY 26th ANNIVERSARY to Tucker Carlson and Susie Andrews, celebrating in Portugal.

BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY: Nancy Cordes, CBS News congressional correspondent and the pride of Kalaheo, Hawaii. How she got her start in journalism: “I did an internship at the ‘Today Show’ the summer after my sophomore year of college, and from then on I was hooked. I came back to school in the fall and started anchoring at our college TV station. If anybody ever gets their hands on those Beta tapes, I’m ruined.” Read her Playbook Plus Q&A: http://politi.co/2hMonDz

BIRTHDAYS: Andrew Sullivan is 54 … Buffy Wicks, Clinton, Obama and Dean alum and candidate for CA Assembly District 15 (East Bay) (hat tips: Tim and Kiki Burger) … Gina Ormand Cherwin (h/t Stella) … 270 Strategies co-founder Meg Ansara, an HFA alum … John Dunagan, SVP at VOX Global … Matthew MacWilliams … Sally Garner (h/ts Jon Haber) … Alex Thompson, politics and policy editor at VICE News and an NYT alum … Kevin McAllister, deputy comms director at American Bridge 21st Century, is 29 (h/t Dawn Le, filing in-transit to Netroots in Atlanta) … Jim Brady, ESPN’s public editor, is 5-0 … Addison DiSesa … Jessica Wehrman … Paul Conway … NYT’s Laura Kim, a “Morning Joe” alum … Sophie Vershbow, social media manager at Random House … Sarah Kyle, director of federal gov’t relations at BIO (hubby tip Ross Kyle) … Chris Hansen, executive director of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, is 35 … Daniel Patrick Howard, the son of Ben, is 1 (h/t grandfather Jack) …

… Alex Marquardt, CNN senior national correspondent … Joshua Karp … Chirag Shah, VP of gov’t affairs for AAHOA (h/t Brandon VerVelde) … Mike Linhorst … BuzzFeed’s Lissandra Villa … Quorum’s Kevin King … Robert Cogan of the House Budget Committee, celebrating in Kennebunkport, Maine and Ipswich, Mass. (h/t Katie Byerly) … Leila Clifford … Julie Johnson … Ally Harpootlian, media associate at ReThink Media … Jayson Rodriguez … Noah Marine is 33 … Katie Papa … Mark Walker … Lucy Wolfe Goss … Emily Buck … Cameron Onumah … Rick Phelps … George Appleby … Benjamin Giesser (h/ts Teresa Vilmain) … Vanessa Reed … Rose Gallagher … Johannah Tyer … Sam Wilson is 35 … Paul Foutch … Antonio Banderas is 57 (h/t AP)

****** A message from the Coalition for Affordable Prescription Drugs (CAPD): The high prices that drug makers set for prescription drugs can put financial strain on patients, employers, unions and others who provide health care coverage to more than 50 percent of Americans. Pharmacy benefit managers negotiate the lowest net price for prescriptions on behalf of employers, unions and government programs. But, as list prices – the starting point for those negotiations — continue their nearly double-digit increases, the effects ripple throughout the system. The key to ensuring greater access and affordability lies in fostering greater competition. Facilitating faster reviews of generics and biosimilars, identifying off-patent drugs with little or no generic competition, and ending anti-competitive practices that keep safe, effective alternatives out of the market are also key to abating rising drug costs for patients. Learn more at affordableprescriptiondrugs.org ******

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