#(ez whatever would i do without you two???)

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Garland Cowl by Galzanne Knits.

Made this delightful cowl for a friend's birthday using hand-painted pure mulberry silk by Araucanía Yarns (which appears to be a thing they no longer make?? We won't talk about how long I've had this stashed). The big worsted-weight lace was a lot of fun and worked up quickly once I got my gauge issues sorted out. I'd never worked with silk before! I'm a fan. Learned a new cast on for this, and I turned my bamboo knitting needles and fingers VERY blue, but I sort of like when my crafts stain my hands--it's bright evidence that I'm Out Here Making Things, y'know?

[catscidr]

// dottore nsfw alphabet ft. the segments! //

i. note — (੭ ᐛ ) hehe.....so...... i have the worst writer’s block rn (its probably burnout because i straight up can't bring myself to do anything but o well) nd i thought filling this out would help. spoiler alert it did a little because i actually finished it.... i have like two Almost Finished wips collecting dust in my docs but i just cant get them done ueue. i write for thirty minutes n then close my laptop. i have a problem but WHATEVER!! THROWS DOTTORE NSFW ALPHABET LIKE A GRENADE AND RUNS!!!

ii. includes — dottore, the clones, gn!reader

iii. cw — nsfw under the cut! mentions of overstimulation, bondage, orgasm control, power imbalance, smidge of dubcon, exhibitionism, dom/sub dynamics, one mention of syringes n needles, implied established relationship

A -> Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 

— He’s not one to outright pamper you, but he does clean you up and makes sure that the bruises he left won’t be too sore in the morning; but if you beg hard enough, he’ll begrudgingly kiss them better. Just use his words against him and tease him a little n he’ll reward you with some smooches! ez

B -> Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s) 

— He’s indifferent to his body. On you, though, he goes crazy for your neck. Archons, the things he can do to it are endless. He loves covering it in bitemarks, wrapping his hands around it to feel your rapid pulse, sucking hickeys into the sensitive skin... and we can’t forget how much he loves watching you tilt your head to the side so he can inject whatever liquid is inside his syringe. Call it a mix of sensual and morbid fascination the way he’s obsessed with your neck 

C -> Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

— Dottore’s cum is opaque and on the thicker side, but its bitter and not particularly pleasant to swallow. You can’t really blame him; he’s a busy man and he neglects his health regularly. If you ask him nicely, he’ll try to, at least, sip on some pineapple or orange juice during the day so you don’t rush to spit out the cum that lands in your mouth. He also cums a lot, thanks to his involuntary abstinence in his younger years.........

D -> Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

— Has thought about fucking you in front of his segments multiple times (not fucking you with them, just having them watch you two go at it. big difference here). It’s usually fueled by irritation or jealousy from seeing you spend time with them, but sometimes he’ll get this random urge to just completely and utterly claim you in front of them to get under their skin. Also to overwhelm you. yk. just a bit ˙ᵕ˙

E -> Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

— Wasn’t very experienced before he met you. Had one or two awkward hookups during his Akademiya days, but he really had more knowledge about sex than actual experience (getting a bad blowjob doesn’t really count for experience) 

F -> Favorite position

— You somehow always end up in the prone bone position if you’re on a flat surface. He loves restraining you, but doing so with his whole body takes the cake. He’ll have one hand wrapped around your throat with his elbow on the bed to hold him up (so he doesn’t completely crush you), and the other hand will be holding your hip with a bruising grip to angle your pelvis so he can thrust into you over n over again without mercy

— .....but having you ride him when he’s tired is worthy of being an honorable mention. Don’t think you’re in control though, because as soon as you start to get too cocky he’ll grab your waist n thrust up sharply to knock that smile off your face (affectionately) 

G -> Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

— Very serious, he’ll go as far as to punish you for even trying to crack a joke or giggle at something he said or did (but it’s a dub whenever you’re in a bratty mood so it’s fiiiine). Same goes for his older segments. His younger clones are less uptight about it though, and sometimes they’ll let out a laugh when a funny noise happens, but they won’t necessarily make jokes during it 

H -> Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

— Trims it when he remembers to, when it gets annoying, or when you point it out. He’s not a fan of being clean-shaven, but if you really want him to be he’ll do it. His pubic hair is a darker shade than his hair, and the first time you saw it you promptly said “so you don’t dye your hair!” (he immediately flicked your forehead) 

I -> Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 

— Dottore isn’t romantic, full stop. But on a scale of 1 through 10 he would be around a 6; could charm you and sweep you off your feet if he wanted to, but he finds more enjoyment in teasing you than being a gentleman. 

J -> Jack off (masturbation hc) 

— He forgets that’s even an option when he’s in Snezhnaya. Whenever he gets hard he’ll have you take care of it, whether it’s in the form of a quickie or completely ditching his work to fuck you. So he only really masturbates like... once a week, twice at most if you’re not in the mood to help him with his hard on. 

— But when he has to go out to other regions for work and won't be with you for long periods of time? He gets off more often than he’d like to admit. 

K -> Kink(s)  

— Big fan of dacryphilia, spit/messy sex, overstimulation, any kind of restraints, edging, breathplay, power imbalance, biting, dirty talk, brat taming, double penetration and anything that tests your limits. 

— Medium fan of sex under the influence of either alcohol or aphrodisiacs, somnophilia, exhibitionism, temperature play, slightly dangerous things like knife and gun play, and group sex (with his segments specifically, no one else. he’s possessive of you) 

— Honorable mention: roleplay, to some extent. Mans loves to do a “medical checkup” on you every once in a while. And he’s more of a dom than a sub, too. His older segments have pretty much the same kinks as he does (ofc), but the younger ones tend to lean more towards being switchy than just. dom 

L -> Location (favorite place to do the do) 

— Has a bias for taking you in his office. Loves the idea that any of his segments could overhear the both of you going at it and all they can do is rub one out somewhere quiet. He’s so mean to them, using you like that......... 

M -> Motivation (what turns them on)

— When you act like a brat, purposely teasing him n pushing his buttons..... makes his blood rush down to his cock. Can’t help thinking of the many ways he’ll put you in your place later 

N -> No (immediate turn offs)

— Anything that has to do with his kid/youngest segments and his coworkers, the other Harbingers.

O -> Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 

— Would rather receive than give, but won’t shy away from the opportunity to overstimulate you with his fingers/hands and tongue. Isn’t the best at giving head but will gladly take the time to learn what makes you cum the fastest if you want him to 

P -> Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

— Dottore’s usually fast n rough, but he’ll have his moments where he wants to dote on you hard. His lack of affection catches up to him n he just wants to trace every curve of your body while languidly driving his cock inside of you sometimes, what can ya do 

Q -> Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

— Prefers taking his time to tease you by a mile, but he loves quickies too (since he can very well tease you by having a quickie) 

R -> Risk (are they game to experiment?) the irony of this wording isn’t lost on me 

— He's game to experiment. If you’re on board, he’s always willing to try something at least once 

S -> Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

— His younger segments tire out easily (virgins....... /affectionate) but his older ones, himself included, can go on and on and on. Him being a hermit n staying in his lab for multiple days at a time is extremely misleading, don’t be fooled!! He’ll overstimulate you to prove a point if you try to even poke fun at him n imply that he’ll get tired because he doesn’t “exercise” much (you’re his exercise, anyways) 

T -> Toys (do they have any?)

— Dottore does have some (and has dabbled in making some, too), namely (big and small) vibrators, dildos, and restraints but most of the time he prefers doing without them than with. Usually. When he does use them, he’ll make the whole “session” about them. 

— Controlling the rate in which a machine fucks you while he lazily jerks off in front of you, just out of your reach so you can’t touch him.... slowing down the silicone dildo’s pace when you start to get frustrated, making you even more frustrated..... yeah 

U -> Unfair (how much they like to tease) 

— He’s the WORST. The worst!!! You never know if he’ll overstimulate you, edge you, ruin your orgasm or just rile you up just to not do anything about it. Loves teasing you just as much as he loves to bury himself in his research (which is, obviously, a lot. good luck soldier) 

V -> Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

— Definitely on the quieter side (and it’s totally not so he can hear you more clearly, nuh uh). Lets out grunts/growls and heavy puffs of air more than actual moans, but it just makes the times whenever you do manage to draw out a pretty boy moan even sweeter <3 

W -> Wild card (a random hc) 

— Il Dottore, the Second Harbinger, outcast of the Akademiya, is incredibly touchy. He’ll place his hand on your waist when he walks past you, he’ll keep a hand on your thigh when you’re accompanying him during a meeting. He needs to have a hand on you at all times /whenever it’s possible/, including when you’re having sex. Can’t go a single second without touching you, he would probably actually bite you without any remorse if you tried to tie his hands so he can’t touch you 

X -> X-ray (what’s going on under those clothes ₍ᐢ.  ̫.ᐢ₎ ) 

— Bigger than most, but more of a grower than a shower. 3.8 inches soft and stands at a proud 7.4 inches when hard, with a 4.7 girth . Circumcised (don’t ask how), his skin is light (#FFEBCF) but his cock fades into a slightly darker color (#F7D4BC) while the head is more of a pretty n peachy tone (#F1A491). Has some light scarring in his pelvis area and a defined vein from the bottom of his shaft that stops shy of his glans. Also curves to the right just a bit.......

— His pubes r a dull-ish blue (#88B5D3)— while the hair on his head is a lighter, more teal blue for reference (#B6E0E0). Has a slight happy trail, too

Y -> Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 

— He used to have a very low sex drive. In the beginning of your relationship, it wouldn't be uncommon for you two to go weeks without any action. As time went on though, he’s come to develop a higher sex drive and now has a mid to high libido. It’s your fault for being so tempting, really 

Z -> Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

— Has the freakish ability to go right back to work as if nothing ever happened when you’re both finished, no matter how much you both cum...... makes him the perfect man to provide aftercare though. He’ll stay by your side while you drift off and then he’ll go back and do whatever he has to do— unless you cling onto him n pull him back to stay in bed. If that does happen, he’ll just sit in bed and read a book while you snooze away. 

[ateezscupid]

Hiiii I love your fics ! I wanted to know if you could do a fic with dom- minjoong and sub f. reader ?

𝗧𝗪𝗢'𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗢𝗡𝗘 ★

𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗭 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 / 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧

plot - you planned a calm night with mingi and hongjoong recording in the studio, but it ended way differently than you thought it would.

warn - smut and fluff, dom!mingi, dom!hongjoong, sub!reader, fingering, oral (m and f), praise and some degrading if u squint LOL, pet names (baby, princess, pretty girl, love), poly!au, big dick mingi, reader's shorter than joong and min, kind of size difference mentioned BUT there is a size kink if u squint, unprotected sex, joong and mingi are pussy drunk and absolutely love the reader

w/c -

𝗧𝗔𝗚S - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @starillusion13 @mingitheskzstan @yeolistic @jeonride @ate-ez

A/N - this has been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS and i finished it. also, back from my break babes! ^^

Mingi and Hongjoong were like two peas in a pod. they did — quite literally — everything together. They went to concerts together, designed merchandise together, produced and wrote lyrics together; even going to the bathroom together seemed like something the two boys did a lot. you’ve always loved their friendship. It was so cute how Mingi would treat Hongjoong like a younger brother even though Joong was older, and he kind of just accepted it knowing he couldn’t get Mingi to stop.

When you introduced yourself to the two, you didn’t realize how easy it was for them to become attached to you. They acted like they had known you for years, and for you it felt like you had found your soulmates because of their welcoming aura. Out of all of your friends, Hongjoong and Mingi were your favorites.

Hongjoong was the friend who spent too much time at work trying to make sure whatever he was working on was perfect — and who also had a bit of a smoking problem. Hongjoong was high most of the time whenever you saw him.

Mingi was the friend who was — just like hongjoong — always high, except he didn’t spend a lot of time in the studio. He was always out at clubs or doing something stupid with the other members.

To say the least, the boys were like fully grown adult babies.

Since your schedule was always empty, you spent a lot of time with the Ateez members; specifically with Joong and Mingi. You were always hanging out at their music video sets, in their dressing rooms, or just in general in the KQ building doing god knows what. It was fun hanging out with the boys. They acted so normal around you and you loved it.

Now you were hanging out with Mingi and Hongjoong in the studio. They were song writing and producing a few songs while you sat on the couch scrolling through your phone. There was definitely silence in the studio, ignoring the music playing, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. You three were fine being in complete silence as long as it meant being in each others presence.

“Yo Hj, go over that one line again,” Mingi peeked above his computer. “Y/n, are you bored? Sorry if we’re not talking to you, we’re just really focused.”

“What?” you scoff playfully and sit up. “Don’t worry about me, I don’t really care about you guys talking to me or not, Im fine either way.”

“Cool, just makin’ sure.” Min smiled then looked back at his computer. You always found him adorable whenever he wore glasses. They fit him so well, and he didn’t seem to agree until you started complimented him. It wasn’t long after that he started wearing his glasses more often.

With or without the glasses, Mingi had a pretty face. It was the same for Hongjoong. You’ve always found the two men incredibly attractive; your eyes examining their features whenever they weren’t looking. You of course never acted upon your emotions, but there have been moments between you three that would confirm your feelings for them.

Like the time you were hanging out with the boys while they were filming Inception. As of now, you’re confused why you didn’t choose Seonghwa first. Everything about him in that music video had you drooling. As if his body being drenched in water wasn’t enough, his facial expressions and body made you horny desperate for him.

Hongjoong and Mingi both noticed how your body was reacting to Seonghwa’s movements during the dance and felt jealous. They didn’t remember you looking at them like that. You remember the boys bombarding you with questions after they made it back to their dorms.

“Do you like Seonghwa?” and “Do you have a crush on anybody?”

“Why were you looking at Seonghwa like that?”

“Do you have a crush on anybody?”

All these questions were new to you since they hadn’t bothered you like this before. You could only assume it was because of the way you looked at Seonghwa that made them jealous. But why were they jealous? They didn’t like you, at least, that’s what you thought. They never showed any signs that told you they were interested in you… Unless they did and you were too dumb to realize.

Just thinking about it now made you wonder if they actually liked you, and if they had like you this entire time, why didn’t they say anything? You thought they’d be fighting over you if they both liked you but they weren’t.

Clearly they didn’t have a problem with sharing.

You stare at your phone for a few minutes contemplating on whether or not you should ask them. Or better yet, just blurt out that you like them and see where that takes you. You glance over at Hongjoong, and to your surprise, he was already looking at you. He immediately looked away and stared at the sheet of lyrics in front of him, Mingi noticing the flushed look on his face and looking at you. They knew you knew.

“Can I ask you guys something?” you finally muster up the courage to say something. It looked as if the blood drained from their face when you said that.

“Uh, sure,” Mingi closes his laptop halfway and Hongjoong nods, taking his headphones off completely.

“Do you guys have a crush on anybody? We’ve been friends for long and we’ve talked about almost any and everything but crushes. How come you guys never told me about any crushes you guys have? Or had.”

Hongjoong looks at Mingi, mouth ajar as if he were going to speak but stayed quiet. Mingi was also quiet, fidgeting with his mouse and looking around the room. Clearly they were nervous to answer the question, and you didn’t mean to make them nervous.

“Sorry if I’m asking for too much, I just wanna know! I mean, you guys have told me your celebrity crushes but that’s not the same.”

“I mean,” Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, slightly lifting his hips. You noticed this and bit your lip, struggling to keep eye contact with him.

“We never told you because it’s complicated.”

“How is it complicated? If you don’t mind me asking,” You cris-cross your legs on the couch. “I mean, I’m pretty easy to talk to. You guys know this.”

“We know!” Mingi sighed. “If we told you, you’d freak out. And you’d probably think we were weird,”

“I won’t think you’re weird! Come on, it’s just us,” you walk over to the chair next to Mingi and sit down in it, placing a hand on his arm and tilting your head. Your small touch alone made Mingi shiver.

“Well, we…” he glances over at Hongjoong who nodded his head in approval. “we like you.”

That wasn’t what you were expecting at all. Well, you kinda did expect it but it was surprising. They said it so easily as if they weren’t scared to tell you earlier. Averting your gaze to Hongjoong, he nodded slowly as if saying what Mingi said was true. You knew the boys wouldn’t lie to you. You all made an agreement that you’d tell each other anything no matter what it was.

“Sorry if it’s so sudden,” Hongjoong sighs deeply. “I know I said I wasn’t really looking to date anyone and Mingi knew that too, but you kinda just…came into our life and changed it ever since.”

“Do you both like me? I already know the answer but I like it hearing it from you guys.” you smile and kick your feet.

“Oh my god,” Mingi chuckles. His deep voice was always so attractive. “First Joong liked you and I may or may not have teased him a bit for his stupid crush on you. But then I started understanding why he liked you and then I started liking you. We kinda had to come to an agreement since we didn’t know what to do if both of us liked you.”

“I’m not gonna say we argued, but we argued.” Hongjoong chuckles behind his desk. “We both sorta agreed to being okay with the other liking you, but we don’t know if you’re okay with…dating two people.”

“Joong, are you kidding? If it’s you two I don’t care. I’m actually kind of relieved that you guys don’t mind dating me. I thought I’d have to choose between you guys and I didn’t want to do that.”

“Well now you don’t have to since you know we both like you,” Mingi leaned back in his chair — manspreading. You thought you had better self control but you definitely didn’t. Just seeing him sit like that made you rub your legs together. You weren’t aware of the fact that the boys saw you doing this, nor were you aware of the looks they gave each other.

“So…I assume this means we’re — dating? All of us?”

“Would you like that Y/n?” Hongjoong averted his gaze, his eyes glazing over your body. He could never get over how good you looked in his and Mingi’s clothes. Being surprisingly shorter than Mingi and Hongjoong, their clothes were always baggy on your body, which made them so comfortable. He liked watching you rummage through their closets trying to find an outfit for the day since you had given up on wearing your own clothes.

“I would love that!” You say with a gummy smile, a bit too excited for your own good.

“I’m kinda surprised you didn’t say anything about us before. I mean, you said you knew we liked you,” Mingi said.

“Well I didn’t wanna say anything before because I wasn’t really sure. I only went by the things you guys were doing and you guys were doing a lot.”

“Like what?” Hongjoong tilts his head.

You didn’t think he’d ask. “Y’know, getting jealous whenever I looked or even talked to the other members, over complimenting me even when I looked bad, always staring at my body — Mingi, you liked looking at my tits. I always caught you look at them,”

“You looked at her tits?” Joong raised his eyebrow at Mingi.

“I-I did like once,” Mingi scratches the back of his head. “You’ve looked at her ass before so you can’t sit here and act like you didn’t do anything wrong!”

“You’ve looked at my ass before?” the question made them both flustered. You weren’t necessarily surprised by the behavior; more so happy they even admitted to doing it. At least they felt comfortable enough to tell you things like that.

“Well are there any more embarrassing things you guys wanna spill about each other or are you guys done?”

Hongjoong started giggling, covering his mouth with his hand and looking at Mingi. You could tell it was something stupid based off the way he sounded.

“Mingi didn’t know how to—”

“Shut up dickhead!” Mingi shouted defensively not even allowing Hongjoong to finish. Him interrupting only made Joong laugh louder. His laughing caused you to start laughing.

“Joong say it! What is it!” You lean closer, arms resting on the desk. Mingi tried covering your ears but you kept moving.

“He was scared to tell you he liked you because he thought you guys would kiss and he didn’t know how to kiss so he asked me to help him!” Hongjoong almost fell back in his chair laughing, his headphones falling off his neck and his legs kicking underneath the desk. Mingi was definitely embarrassed, though he seemed to be embarrassed because he couldn’t kiss, not because he kissed Hongjoong.

“You guys kissed? Like — on the lips? Or…” —

“On the lips, Y/n, I didn’t say he could go that far. But he did it to impress youuu! I already know how to kiss so I was fine teaching him what I knew.”

You nod and turn to Mingi. “So he taught you? You know how to kiss now?”

“I-I guess,” he cleared his throat nervously. “You want me to show you?”

“Are you guys really gonna makeout in front of me? If you’re gonna do it, let me watch.” he stands up from his seat and moves toward the couch you were just sitting on, taking a seat himself and positioning himself so he saw you two making out — if you were even going to do so.

Mingi’s eyes glazed over your features, seeming to be glued to your lips since he couldn’t take his eyes off of them. Leaning in slowly, his hand lifting and resting on your cheek while pulling your face closed, his and your eyes closing. Hongjoong sat watching in anticipation with his foot tapping on the ground, a wide smile on his face. He kept whispering the words ‘kiss her’ and ‘hurry up’ since you two were taking a bit long.

With his hand holding your cheek and your faces inching closer and closer, your lips finally attached. He captured your lips tenderly, your expression softening as you relaxed in his hood, leaning gently into the kiss to create more friction of some sort. He was enjoying it himself as well — having his arm wrapped around you pulling you deeper into the kiss and making sure you couldn’t back away. Not like you planning on it. It was crazy — a bit unbelievable how he didn’t protest when you asked him to kiss you, but you were happy he was doing it.

As the two of you kissed you felt someone behind you. The only other person in the room was Hongjoong, so you could only assume it was him. He watched closely as you two kissed, growing a bit impatient himself since he didn’t get the chance to kiss you yet.

“Mingi, hurry upp. I wanna kiss her too,” he whined behind you. Once Mingi’s lips separated from yours, Joong’s fingers curled around your neck and leaned down, attaching his own lips to yours and holding you still. Whatever you had gotten yourself into, you couldn’t possibly take yourself out. It wasn’t like you wanted to but you knew you were going to have a fun night.

In full honesty, it was a lot to take in. The both of them were kissing you, their hands all around your body overwhelming your senses. It’s not like you haven’t imagined the two in bed before but for it to happen now was so unexpected.

“She’s so pretty,” Mingi mumbles under his breath, hands gently caressing your thighs. “so gorgeous.”

Hongjoong pulls away from your lips, running a thumb across your cheek. “You think we should do it tonight? Of course, if she’s okay with it.

“Okay with what? W-What do you guys mean?”

“…” Joong looked at Mingi then back to you. “Y’know, a threesome.. If it’s too unexpected we don’t have to do it—”

“Y-Yes! Yeah, whatever you wanna do to me, do it. Please.”

They didn’t have to be told twice. As Mingi pulled you into his lap, Hongjoong stood behind you and held your hair out of your face, fingers still wrapped around your neck as Mingi pulled you into yet another kiss. Your tongues fought for dominance but Min won, making you feel like your body was going numb. They played with you as if you were putty. You began to grind your hips onto Mingi while holding onto his shoulders, moaning into his mouth because of the friction. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to get you wet. Just as you were doing so, you felt something big rubbing against your crotch.

You knew what it was.

“Aw she’s moving on harder on you,” Joong teased, his hands moving all across your body and even groping your breasts. “You got hard that quick?”

Mingi broke away from the kiss. “Well what would you do if a girl you liked was grinding on your dick? Would you not get hard?”

“I would but still, damn.” Mingi lets go of you and allows Hongjoong to pull you away from him. He brings you over to the couch and finally settles you into his lap, hands caressing your thighs like Mingi’s did earlier, giving your clothes heat access to his own bulge. You lazily drag yourself against his length. This alone had you soaked in your panties and you were about ready to rip them off of your heated body.

“My pretty girl grinding on me like this,” Hongjoong almost growls in your ear, hugging your waist and groaning softly in your ear. “you’re such a dirty girl,”

“Mm,” you whimper. “I… know,”

Not realizing Mingi had come over, his hands reach underneath your hips and grab the hem of the bottoms you were wearing, pulling them off and discarding them onto the floor next to him. Joong tilted your head at an almost uncomfortable angle to attach his mouth onto yours and you eagerly return the kiss, tongues clashing together.

Mingi watched you grind on each other, though he’s not sure he can handle watching you two do it any longer. He pulls your hips forward and pushes your underwear to the side, hands squishing your thighs and lips enveloping your clit. You jolt and moan into your kiss with Joong while holding onto his leg, gripping for your life at this point.

“So wet,” Mingi hums. “for me?” his fingers come to play with your folds. Your body was surging with such an electric feeling you felt lightheaded. With simple touches, you were already crumbling. It wasn’t like this with your past partners in bed.

His hand slides underneath your ass and attaches his mouth to your heat. Your core was twitching so much, already overstimulated by barely anything. Hongjoong took this as his opportunity to grope your breasts, now comforting you as Mingi ate you out. His tongue moves in and out of you, spending a few seconds looking for that one spongey spot inside of you. Your thighs close around his head, and your back arched off of Joong’s chest.

You couldn’t focus on his hands on your body while Mingi ate you out like this. It was impossible.

Once his fingers enter you everything goes blank, your legs closing immediately and you having to break away from Hongjoong’s kiss to catch your breath. You came so quick and easy it was almost embarrassing.

“She’s so cute!” Hongjoong cooed as he rubbed your waist. “Came so quick from barely anything.”

“Please…” you moan softly, arching your back and trying to grind your hips on Hongjoong again. “I-I… want—”

“We’ll give it to you, baby.” Mingi spoke as he stood to his feet. Joong lifted you from the underside of your legs and placed you on your back on the sofa, Mingi now replacing him and getting between your legs. He stripped himself of his sweatpants and pushed his boxers low enough to where his cock could spring out.

It would be an understatement to say he was just big.

“M-Min…, that’s not gonna fit,”

“Then I’ll make it fit.”

As you were ready to protest, a sharp pain seethed through your body. You hadn’t realized Hongjoong slid behind you and help you lay on top of his chest, your lower body feeling numb once Mingi went inside. You were too focused on the literal intrusion that your body was going through to realize Joong’s hand moving to your clit. He delivered a sharp slap to it, making you lurch forward and cry out loud.

“Aw, poor baby can’t handle it,” Joong murmurs as Mingi began thrusting.

Your walls were contracting against his cock with every movement, hips angled so he could hit your deepest parts. He was so big, stretching your walls and making it feel like you were being ripped apart. Mingi tried going slow so you could adjust to his enormous size, but good god, he was huge. Adjusting to his size was going to take a very long time. He kept glancing at you to check your facial expressions, stopping the movement of his hips if he felt like he was hurting you.

“It’s okay, princess,” Mingi said calmly while doing slow strokes. “I know it’s a lot, just breathe.” his deep voice helped you calm down much faster. He grabs ahold of your hips and speeds up the pace of his thrusts. There was slick already sliding down your thighs.

Immediately your hands flung to his body, hips grinding against him to feel some sort of friction. Your nails dug into his skin while you tried holding on for dear life. It was so much to handle at once.

Reaching your hand back, you were desperately searching for Hongjoong’s dick, anything to hold on your hands. You felt bad since you hadn’t done anything besides kiss him yet, so this was the last you could do. Of course, he attempted to stop you saying he didn’t need you to do anything, but you weren’t listening. You were being driven by sex.

“Y/n, you don’t have to—” your hand grasps onto his clothed dick. He did want you to touch him, so he allowed you to do whatever to him. Of course, the angle at which you were laying made it difficult for you to stroke him, but you tried your best, running your thumb over his slit and spreading his pre-cum all over.

“Joong why don’t you…fuck,” Mingi cursed, head spinning from how nice you felt around his cock. “f-fuck her face. Give her something to do with her filthy little mouth,”

“I-I don’t think she can even hear us—”

“Little whore already fucked out?” Min pants and deepens his thrusts.

Hongjoong slid from underneath your now limp body and grabbed a fistful of your hair, lifting it and wiping the drool off your cheek with his thumb. Mingi held your hips with his nails digging into your body, leaving crescent moon shapes embedded in your skin, while Hongjoong was preparing to face fuck you.

He pulls his pants down to his thighs, pulling your head closer to his hips by your hair and slapping his cock on your cheek. You couldn’t handle the scene unfolding in front of you.

“Open,” Hongjoong spoke, slapping his tip against your lips. You obeyed and lazily opened your mouth. It opened more as he pushed himself inside of you.

“So warm,” he groans. “so wet, all for us.”

Joong was much bigger than you imagined, and you weren’t ashamed to say you had thought about Hongjoong naked before. It was safe to say you’ve thought about all of the members naked. The only ones you’ve thought of the most were Mingi and Hongjoong, mainly Mingi. Even seeing only his collarbone sometimes would cause you to drool. Hongjoong had you drooling whenever you saw any part of his body.

His hips moved back and forth, pushing his cock in and out of your mouth, making sure to hit the back of your throat with each thrust while also making sure you were still breathing. Though you didn’t mind if he made it hard for you to breathe. Being used like a cum dump by these two has been a dream of yours for a while.

“Fuck, baby, your mouth feels good…” Hongjoong groaned as his pace accelerated. You gagged each time his tip hit the back of your throat, but you didn’t care.

A sharp thrust from Mingi’s hips caused your body to jerk and for a string of fire to shoot down to your core. Your moans were muffled due to Joong being in your mouth, but it only fueled Min to go faster inside of you, thinking about how you’d sound if your mouth wasn’t full right now. Joong placed his hand on the back of your head and began thrusting his hips faster, droll trickling down your bottom lip and down your chin from the stimulation.

Your thighs wouldn’t stop twitching. However, how could they stop? Mingi was plowing the last amount of life out of your hole, and Hongjoong used your mouth as if you were a glory hole for him and only him for his own personal use.

How could you possibly stay still during all this?

“I think—fuck, I think she’s close.” Mingi groans and plants his hands on the couch cushions, freeing your hips from his hold and allowing his own to angle differently so he can strike into you deeper.

Your head was spinning at this point. You had no control over the noises you made or your body anymore. Everything about you belonged to them now. Knowing you were close to your release, Hongjoong pulled his member out of your mouth and slapped it on your cheek gently, allowing you to rest your head on his lap while Mingi was wrecking your hole. Your eyes rolled back, your head fell, and garbled words spilled out of your mouth. All you can do is whine and cry out in pleasure while your head spins.

Mingi brings his hand down and presses his thumb against your aching clit, rubbing in fast circles to push you further over the edge until you tipped over, curses spilling out from your swollen lips alongside Mingi's name. At the same time, Mingi held onto your thighs and bottomed out inside of you finally dumping his load inside of you. Your head falls into Hongjoong's lap. He runs his fingers through your hair, easing you through your orgasm.

"You okay, tiny?" Hongjoong caresses your cheek. It took a moment to catch your breath after everything that happened. Jesus, that was a lot.

"I..." After catching your breath, you looked at Hongjoong with puppy eyes and a pout you knew he couldn't resist. "Joongie~" you whine while reaching for his hand. Mingi couldn't help but laugh at how desperate you were. How completely fucked out you looked too.

"What is it?"

"You haven't gotten a turn yet..." you mumbled while pulling on his shirt. Mingi moved out of the way without saying a word, gesturing for Hongjoong to come over. The two men switched places with Hongjoong near your hips and Mingi behind your head caressing your cheek.

Hongjoong wasn't as big as Mingi, but his length made up for it. You knew it would hit your sweet spot easily. Hongjoong positioned himself in front of you, tip lined up with your entrance and his unoccupied hand holding onto your hip. Slowly -- achingly slow, he pushes himself into you in one go, holding onto your hips tightly to not lose balance. Mingi, on the other hand, had his hand on your breast playing with your nipple. So much was happening at once it was hard to keep up.

"It's okay," Joong coos, beginning to thrust in and out of you gently. You were still so sensitive from your orgasm with Mingi. Hongjoong had just started, and it felt good. "Fuck, you're tight."

Out of nowhere, he picks up his pace. He didn't give you enough time to adjust to his length and started pounding into you, gliding his cock in and out of your warmth and watching your juices coat his member. When he heard a whimper escape your lips, he knew he was doing a good job.

"Babe," he says in between pants. "T-Touch yourself for me, yeah? Give Mingi a show while he watches,"

Embarrassed but ultimately turned on, you complied and slithered your hand down your stomach and toward your throbbing clit, rubbing rough and fast circles on it to bring yourself closer to orgasm. Hongjoong winced as you clenched around his cock from the sensation.

"Oh, fuck please," you cried out. "I-I'm gonna cum, slow down-!"

"Already?" Mingi chuckles. "What do you think, Joong? Should we let her?"

"Dammit, if she does, then I-I just might." he shudders, both hands holding onto your hips and slamming his cock in and out of your sopping hole. "I think, fuck, she's been good. Let go, baby."

You were so so close to cumming, the speed of your fingers speeding up as the circles you were rubbing in became sloppy. Occasionally you'd lose focus and wouldn't even move your fingers due to your brain turning to mush. Their voices sounded muffled in your ears. Everything they said went through one ear and out the other.

"Fuck fuck fuck-!" the volume of your moans gradually increased until you couldn't handle it anymore and came. You arched your back and curled your toes, holding onto Hongjoong's wrists. You clenched so tightly around his cock that it pushed him over the edge. He dumped his load inside of you, moaning your name and panting heavily.

"Wow.." Mingi whistles, looking at your fucked out face. "You're so pretty when you cum."

"Shut up," you replied, embarrassed with your hands over your face.

"That was fun," Hongjoong sighs deeply. "I'd do it again." he says while looking at Mingi. Mingi nods in agreement and the two look at you, waiting for your answer.

"I...wouldn't mind."

[angelismmm]

pairings. blade x gn!reader

synopsis. nsfw alphabet w blade gg ez, a-n only becuz im l-l-lazy....

a - aftercare (what are they like after the deed?)

blud lowkey don't give a shit about you if you aren't that close, lmao

but if you are, probably kind of clingy, and really caring. a lot of cuddling, don't tell me i'm wrong cuz i'm NOT.

in some cases, and instances, those.. 'activities' you both have do make him quite exhausted, and most of the time it really just ends with him showering you, cleaning you up, and just being in his embrace (more utc.)

b - body part (their fave body part, of themselves, and their partner's!)

probably for himself; would be his hands. just in general, plus he knows how well they treat you anyway! so why wouldn't it be his favorite? and for you, probably loves everything, doesn't know what he'd do without it, can't decide on one sole favorite, maybe your stomach and probably your neck!

c - cum (cum, anything to do with it)

will cum on your face, if not, he'll come inside, nothing in between.

i dont know how to elaborate here but um, the way his cum be sprayed all over ur face is just so mmmm to him. makes him hard all over again!

d - dirty secret (self explanatory)

not rly dirty, but wants to see you get a necklace with his name on it, or a collar with his name on it, and while he pounds so recklessly, he wants to see that pretty little pendant of his bouncing up and down on your neck, very fond of the idea, but never would actually say it to you, unless you really push him enough.

e - experience (has bro done the deed before?)

maybe? not that experienced probably, but has messed around with somebody before yes!

he knows what he's doing though, don't worry. but overall probably just did it once or twice, barely can call it sex

he probably read about sex before doing it with you, cause he wanted it to go perfectly.

f - favorite position (self explanatory pt2)

just as long as he can see your face, missionary, cowgirl, let it be anything, just as long as he can see how your face just gets so corrupted because of his big cock.

g - goofy (is bro serious about sex?)

very serious, it's almost funny, but it isn't, he's dedicated, and will show it.

but maybe when you both get closer, and are able to be more intimate with each other, in relationship wise, and etc., sure he'll laugh once or twice about a mistake he's done.

h - hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

um, yes and no?? i don't really know, i can't rly tell, like maybe thrice a week sure, and the rest of the week he don't really care, it gets messy when you both fuck anyways. and yes, black hair, thats it, idk how to elaborate ab this LMAO

i - intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

gets too embarassed. no he will not show his blushing face, even if he's already inside, probably takes like, a round or two before he does

kind of like, he'd giggle about it and go okay bae

but also would be the kind of guy to go, "i want to be the only man, the only person, in this whole galaxy, this whole universe, to make you feel like this."

j - jack off (master bait :D)

yes, very often, no other choice, i cant say otherwise. likes to imagine its you on that monster ahh cock instead of his hand, be real, he the type to do that. uses imagination wisely, and does it when you're away from him, on a mission, or whatever, needs you 24/7 tho

k - kink/s

degrading you like it's his life's purpose. loves you like it's the calm life he's been looking for since forever, but will degrade you, calls you slut, whore, made for his cock, and all that jazz.

oh but facesitting; super big fan, wants to just be in you, tongue up in your hole, while he just strokes his cock, just needs you to sit on his face so bad

be so fucking honest w me, he probably turned on by the idea of getting pegged, or getting anal. won't admit it out loud, but he wants to get treated like a prince. like just wants you to make him feel so good, that's it.

l - location

doesn't give a fuck if other people hear, will fuck you in an alleyway if he feels like it, or if you feel like it, in the public bathroom <3 but just way prefers being in bed with you, feels more romantic, and gives off more feeling to the moment, in his own opinion, will do whatever you're comfortable with.

n - no no

roleplay, anything related to it, it seriously grosses him out

non con, in general, he's disgusted by it, i know that for a fact.

don't degrade him please, he's heard, and been called all kinds of names before, and it's not like he ever liked them.

don't hurt him, it's clear in his skill he does hurt himself in the process</3, im sure he seriously just wants to love you, and wants it back, his degrading is to a small extent, and it's just in the heat of the moment thing!

[ravennaortiz]

Summary: Coco prepares for the birth of his and OC Daniela's child. All while enduring hazing from her brothers and trying to cope with his own anxiety about being a good father.

As always my stories are 18+.

Tag List: @keyweegirlie @hatersaremymotivators @meera10 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @kikijackson-blog

"I still can't believe you got my baby sister pregnant" sighed Angel as he dropped onto the couch next to Coco dramatically making him roll his eyes but not looking up from the book in his hands.

"Kind of a shit move. She had her whole life ahead of her" joked EZ as he clapped Coco on his shoulders from behind the couch.

"My bad. Figured after being married for two years this would be fine. Though I am starting to wish I had rethought the relationship after realizing you two idiots were her brothers" snarked Cocoas he shook EZ's hands off him and stood from the couch.

"If I didn't know better I would think he was the one pregnant and hormonal" stated Angel as they watched Coco stalk off and upstairs. EZ simply nodded as he took Coco's vacated seat.

***

Dani was upstairs finishing her makeup when she saw Coco appear in the doorway a frown on his face. "You okay love?"

Coco flopped onto the bed and sighed trying to decide if it was worth stressing her out to tell her his rising anxiety about the birth of their daughter. "I'm good mami" he finally called as he heard her move into the bedroom. "You look stunning" he added as he propped himself up on his elbows taking her in. Lucky, he thought to himself. He got lucky that night all those years ago that she had turned down that alleyway.

Dani put her hands on her hips as she stared him down. "Don't deflect Coco. I know something is bothering you so spill it"

Coco took a deep breath as he met her eyes. There was no use in trying to deny it any longer. "What if I am a bad dad? What do I have to offer? I messed Letty up and I can't stomach the idea of doing that with our little one. I know its too late but I don't think I can do this Dani" explained Coco as he buried his face in his hands as tears spilled down his cheeks.

"Coco, my love" murmured Dani as she moved to the bed and tried to pull him as close as possible with her baby bump. "You are a great man and a great father. I promise you that. Letty has grown into a lovely young lady and you did what you thought was best for her. I know in my heart you will do the same for our little girl. I am honored to get to raise her with such a gentle, kind, hardworking man" soothed Dani as she rubbed his shoulders.

Coco nodded as he listened to Dani speak. He knew she would never lie to him. "Thank you. Sorry for this" mumbled Coco as he sat up and kissed her cheek.

"No apologies needed love. I got you like you got me" replied Dani softly as she caressed his face. A knock at the bedroom door had them both turning.

"Guests are arriving. E is getting everyone settled" stated Angel as he looked at the floor awkwardly.

"You go on mi amor. I'll be down in a couple minutes" stated Coco as he stood up offering his hand out to Dani to help her off the bed. Dani nodded and made her way out of the room, giving Angels arm a squeeze as she passed by.

Once Dani was down the stairs Angel turned to his friend. "Hey man, I hope you know its all just jokes. EZ and I couldn't ask for a better guy for Dani to be with."

Coco nodded as he took a deep breath. "I know man. Just got a lot on my mind. Don't want to fuck this up"

"You won't. You love my sister to much to do that. Besides you got me and EZ to help ya" replied Angel with a grin.

"Thank god I got Boy Scout and Pretty Boy to help me. Whatever would I do without?" replied Coco sarcastically as he chuckled as he stood up making his way out of the room with Angel.

The End

Want to see how Dani and Coco started? Click here

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[writerblue275]

The Heartsteel Members as Pies (with minimal explanation)

Inspiration: IT’S PI DAY, 3/14!!!! When I was younger, my math teachers would always do something fun for Pi day and bring something in, like a cookie cake. But I feel like the true sweet treat to celebrate this annual holiday is PIE (fucking duh). I love pie omg. So what kinds of pies do the Heartsteel members remind me of? Let’s talk about it. Is this headcanon a bit silly? Absolutely. Do I care? Not at all.

Genre: Mini Headcanon

Type: Silly, goofy, a little stupid, fluff.

Gender: N/A. Reader isn’t involved.

TW: None.

Aphelios

Cherry Pie

Like cherry pie, Aphelios is more complex than he might seem upon first glance. Just as cherry pie is a balance of tart cherries (not sweet like some might think), sugar, lemon juice, etc, Phel is a balance of sass, mischievousness, talent, love for his friends and family, and more.

Ezreal

Key Lime Pie

Key lime pie is bright, fun, happy, sweet (but not too sweet), and exudes an inner inviting tropical warmth (even though served chilled). Ezreal matches this sort of vibe perfectly and I can’t think of a better choice for him. Friendly, sweet, and a joy to be around, I look at Ez and just smile.

Kayn

Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

Strawberry rhubarb pie manages to showcase two stars without one completely overshadowing the other. A masterclass in balance, it wouldn’t be the same if you took one of those components away. Just as Kayn and Rhaast are both equally integral. You can’t really have one without the other. 🤷🏼‍♀️

K’Sante

Pumpkin Pie

One of my absolute favs. Rich, smooth, flavorful, warm and inviting, and a staple at any fall/winter holiday party. If pumpkin pie was sentient, she’d know she’s that girl. Just as K’Sante knows he is him. He’s smooth with his confidence, full of the spice of many different talents, and his personality just seems so inviting and warm.

Sett

Blueberry pie

Another absolute fav. Blueberry pie is such a staple for my family, especially since my dad is from Maine where a lot of blueberries grow. I associate blueberry pie with the warmth and cheer of summer family moments. Sett also reminds me of summer. He’s warm, kind, fun-loving, and his family is so important to him.

Yone

Apple Pie

So blueberry pie and pumpkin pie might be my two favorites, but I will gladly say that nothing completes a solid dessert selection like a good apple pie. A true classic that is lowkey the glue holding everything else together, just like our favorite all-star producer/band mom, Yone.

Thanks for reading! As I said, this was silly and a little stupid, but it brought me joy to do, so whatever! 😂 Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go run to the store and grab one of the little teeny personal pies. I made myself hungry.

[lamb-writes]

the rumble where you lay.

pairing. guero x bottles

content. drug mention, police mention, forced proximity, slight d/s dynamics, finger sucking, frottage, marking kink, slight possession

word count. 3.4k

a/n. omg smut for once??? somehow there is no content of them on their own and i think that’s unfair. they should’ve kissed at least once on the show too. for the plot

“Fuck, I’m tired,” Guero groaned, already heading to the driver’s seat of the van. “Prospect, finish up the rest.” 

Bottles, already holding an arms’ full of heroin packages from the truck, stood up. “What? No, man. EZ said we both had to do this.”

“I’m the one who drove here, I practically did most of the work already.”

“It’s going to be morning soon, dude. We literally need two sets of hands to do this—” He was cut off by the van for slamming shut. “Motherfucker.” He cursed under his breath before setting the rest of the packages in his arms in the trunk.

Bottles knocked on the window. “EZ’s gonna be pissed if this doesn’t get finished and you know it.”

“Sounds like you have a lot of work ahead of you, then,” Guero said with a grin, already turning up the radio. Bottles couldn’t hear it that well, but it was definitely too loud for the job they were there to do.  Especially with the backdoors open. 

Begrudgingly, Bottles went back to work. Despite how much work was ahead of him, he was a prospect. It’s what he was here for, as unfair as it seemed sometimes. Regardless of how much friendly conversation Guero allowed him at times, there was always a clear barrier between them. It stared at Bottles every time he looked at the other man’s kutte. 

Half an hour in, his eyes had adjusted to the dark. His sweater sleeves were rolled up over his elbows. The night chill tinged his skin until his hair was standing on end, but not enough to properly cool him down from the work he was doing. His gloves were shoved into his pocket. Not the best idea if something went wrong, he did realize, but at that point, he just needed it to be over with. Every few minutes, Guero would roll down the window to update him about whatever police chatter he heard on the radio.

“Do you think you could be any quicker with that?” he said one time.

“Not unless you wanna lend a hand.”

“Fuck no.”

—

Another half an hour passed. He was almost done moving everything, but fuck, was it taking a toll on him. He took the last four packages in a stack and slowly trudged them into the van.

He knocked on the driver’s seat window again to get Guero’s attention, probably harder than he intended to, but he was too tired to care at that point. Clearly it was evident, too, with Guero already preparing to yell at him but stopping once he got a look at his face. 

“I got everything transferred. Can you put the tarp over it? My legs are about to give out.” Bottles walked over to the passenger seat without waiting for a response. Again, bold but he hoped Guero would grant him at least a break. Which surprisingly, he did, tucking the corners of the tarp into the stack Bottles made so nothing was showing. Bottles made a note to thank him on the ride back. 

He was about to fall asleep when he saw a car in the distance, the headlights illuminating its black and white coloring. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Shit, cops. Stay back there,” he said, hopefully loud enough for Guero to hear.  All Bottles was able to do was turn off the interior lights before he was pulled into the back of the van.

“Asshole, are you trying to get us caught?” Bottles tried to respond, but was interrupted by Guero scrambling to pull the tarp over both of them.

They were dead silent, trying to hear the cop car drive by or God forbid someone peering into the van windows. As he caught his breath, Bottles noticed their closeness. With the amount of product beside them, there wasn’t much room for them to hide. Somehow, they ended up facing each other. Bottles' back was pressed against the backs of the seats while Guero was almost knocking over the pile of heroin packages. Though, even with that, their chests were just about touching. Legs unintentionally tangled together in the chaos. He could practically feel the adrenaline running through the both of them.

Miraculously, his glasses were still on and his eyes were still adjusted to the dark. Faintly, he could see Guero—probably much clearer than Guero could see him. The first beads of sweat were forming on his forehead, if they weren’t already swept away by his bangs which were strewn over his forehead. Though, Bottles assumed he looked something similar. Guero’s eyes were darting around despite there not being much to see. Maybe the peak through of a flashlight or a shadow passing by.  

“I thought you were checking the police radio?”

“I was, I didn’t hear anything close to us. Guess the dumb fuck was just going on a nighttime drive or something. Just be quiet—let me listen.”

Still nothing. Whatever car was driving by, it was probably long gone by now. Probably. But, he probably shouldn’t say that.

There are often times when Bottles has to remind himself to not get too comfortable. To remind himself that he’s just a prospect. Maybe he was too trusting, too gullible, or got caught up in everything too quickly. Whatever it was, that reminder was flaring red at that moment. Something about how they were right now felt off. They were talking too comfortably. Like they were in this mess together rather than this just being one of Bottles’ fuckups like usual. 

Not to mention how close they were right now. He shouldn’t be thinking so hard about this, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever been this close to any of the members before. He probably should’ve been scanning as best as he could through the tarp, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the rise and fall of Guero’s chest as his breath evened out. Their legs were still slotted together, too. Just stopping at the middle of their thighs. The fabric in his pants felt so much thinner than they should be suddenly. It felt like he was feeling so much more than he should. 

They stayed there without saying anything, without moving for probably too long. The air around them was already thick with condensation. Bottles felt lightheaded. 

“We’re—probably good now,” Guero said hesitantly, throwing off the tarp over them, suddenly feeling how isolated they were. Alone at the border with just a couple guns in the backseat to protect themselves. With a prospect member no less. Meaning, Guero had to make all the calls. He shifted himself onto his knees so he could sit up to the best of his ability to peer through the windows as Bottles sat up as well. In doing so, Guero’s legs were pressed even closer into the prospect’s. 

No one was there. Aside from the much-welcomed “fresh” air, everything seemed the same. The only thing he could see through the windows was a dark night painted with much more stars than there were in Santo Padre. He shifted to survey the front of the van. Nothing through the windshield. Their weapons and supplies were still cluttered in the backseat. Thank fucking god. 

“Alright. Coast is clear, we can finally get back home now—” Whatever Guero was about to say next trailed off after he got another look at Bottles, whose face was a bright red and had a hand pressed tightly against his mouth. His eyes were wide and looking up at Guero from over his glasses. 

Guero thought for a moment, why Bottles was acting like that, now of all times. Then, he realized the position they were just in; one of Guero’s knees pressing between Bottles’ legs, sometimes digging farther in as he scanned out the windows. They were undeniably close the entire time. That was one of the last things on Guero’s mind during the moment, but it clearly affected Bottles.

“Seriously, prospect? That’s what you’re going to freak out about?” Guero sat back down, hopefully giving Bottles enough space to calm down. He needed a second to relax, too. 

Bottles didn’t respond. His hand was still over his mouth, though now, not as tight as before. Just enough to keep himself from letting any unnecessary sounds slip out. And they just about did before. He really shouldn’t have acted like that. He shouldn’t be acting like this now. There was still a chance they could be in danger, and he’s blushing and sweating like a goddamn teenager. 

Guero took a few deep breaths as he sat down, letting the adrenaline run off him. But as he did, he was able to get a better look at Bottles. Still shaking, still bright red. Guero continued to eye him, something habitual from his family somehow always being caught in the line of fire. As his eyes followed Bottles’ frame down, Guero took in his hair, his fogged-up glasses, his rolled-up sleeves, the bottom hemming of his shirt that was definitely tucked in when they were assigned this job, down to his waist, and—

Guero’s eyes snapped back to Bottles’; shocked ones meeting shocked turned to humiliated. Just as soon as their eye contact was made, it was broken by Bottles scrambling to the driver’s seat.

“Fuck, I’m sorry! You-I’ll just drive back. You don’t have to look at me, or-or think about this, and we can just get back home.” Bottles’ words came out poorly and fast, maybe as a way to clutter his brain away from any more recollection on what just happened, or maybe the blood still hasn’t gotten back to his head yet. 

“Prospect,” Guero said firmly before Bottles could get over the passenger seats, “sit back down.”

Bottles immediately did as he was told, force of habit, maybe. They were sitting like they were before, facing each other with nothing to avoid each other. Bottles kept his thighs tightly together as he sat down, uncomfortable, but much better than the alternative. Aside from kicking him out of the club entirely, this was one of the worst punishments Guero could’ve come up with. Him, sitting there, unconsciously bracing, waiting for the silence thick in the air, to be broken as Guero looks him up and down for what felt like the 20th time. Bottles hated how unreadable Guero was when he wanted to be. 

“You said you were scared of me before,” Guero began after a while, now leaning closer to him. A part of Bottles wanted to back up, put more distance between them, but another part of him didn’t. Besides, he was already against the back of the seats. “Why’s that? I think it’s smart, I just wanna know the reason.”

Bottles forgot he said that if he was being honest. It wasn’t that long ago, but a lot had happened in the past few months. “I-uh, you were, um, such a—I mean at the time, maybe it was because of what I knew about—”

“How ‘bout I make it easier for you?” He was over him now. Their faces were close, but not as close as they were under the tarp. Guero continued, but not before making a show of his very intentional look down at the increasingly obvious tent in Bottles’ pants. “Do I scare you now?”

“Y-yes.”

“Right, so you wanna listen to me now, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Guero took the hand Bottles didn’t notice he put under his chin and tilted it up, forcing their eye contact one again. “Getting a hard-on from your superior digging his knee into you, kinda masochistic, don’t you think?”

Something about how he said it made Bottles’ hair stand on end. It was such crude, accurate wording that somehow made it sound much more vulgar. 

He was still sitting, now slightly leaning back to make room for the man now over him. His arms were still there uselessly at his sides. His head was taking too much comfort in the hand holding it. And unfortunately, his erection was still pulsing uncomfortably in his boxers. 

He didn’t know if Guero wanted an answer, didn’t know what answer he’d want. So he warily decided on just looking back at him helplessly. 

Then, he gave Bottles that look. The one Bottles had gotten to know over his few months at the club. The one that Guero made when he was about to do something without care for the consequences. The one that said let’s fuck around and find out. 

Guero took one of his legs and put it on the other side of Bottles’ lap. If he was being honest, he wasn’t that sure what he was doing. He didn’t know how far he planned to go with this, either. But, he did know he wanted to have some fun.

He started by fumbling with Bottles’ belt, planning to leave him hanging with a little stimulation before undoing his own. He could feel Bottles’ jolt of panic under him, but he didn’t protest further. 

Guero slipped down Bottles’ pants and boxers to pull out his cock. As he did so, he heard Bottles try to stifle something close to a gasp or a moan—he couldn’t tell which. Whatever it was, Guero did find it charming how awkward-yet-honest the other man was. He was just willing to let Guero do whatever he pleased, and he appreciated that. 

Bottles’ cock was thick and heavy, Guero realized as he first wrapped his fingers around it. It wasn’t too long, though, its length only passing Guero’s fist by an inch or two. Before starting work on his own belt, Guero swiped his thumb over the already damp head, reveling in Bottles’ unsuccessful attempts to stay quiet. 

“Sensitive,” Guero murmured. Bottles could tell it was pointed at him, but again, he decided to let the comment stay in the air. His mind was still spinning, in his defense. He knew it would make sense for him to participate or something, but he didn’t know what Guero was planning yet.  

Bottles took hold of his cock in replacement of Guero, still too shaky to start moving, preferring to watch Guero instead. Which was definitely a mistake, as his cock very clearly twitched in his hand as Guero took out his own. It was a bit skinnier than Bottles’ with a slight curve, it wasn’t fully hard yet, which Guero fixed with a few quick strokes. 

“Open up,” Guero said like it was a casual request, already resting his index and middle finger on Bottles lips. He continued, already feeling wide, unsure eyes boring into him without needing to look himself.  “Relax, nothing too crazy. I’m just trying to make it feel better for the both of us.” 

He gave another look at Bottles. One that said, we’re already gone this far, what’s a little more?

At that, Bottles complied, taking Guero’s fingers into his mouth. He clumsily maneuvered them around his mouth, trying his best to wet them without scraping them with his teeth. Are teeth bad in this situation? Does it matter? It wasn’t like he was sucking him off. Was that next? It wasn’t like he was a virgin, but this kind of sex was completely new to him. Though, he’d be lying if he hadn’t thought about it before. 

“Fuck,” Bottles swore he heard the other man whisper. Somewhere between amusement and arousal. But, his eyes were much too out of focus, much like a lot of his senses, for him to be sure. 

Satisfied, Guero removed his fingers and lazily wet both of their cocks in saliva. He leaned in, keeping his dry hand on Bottles’ shoulder and resting their sweat-damp foreheads together before working them both in his hand. He kept the pace slow at first, appreciating how sensitive Bottles was at the smallest bit of gratification—all of his weak moans and whines. Guero wondered how little he’d have to give to still turn the other man into a mess. 

He stilled his hand, grinning at Bottles continuing to buck into him, but not mentioning it further. He dipped his head into the crook of the prospect’s neck and began to bite and suck with the intention to leave a mark. 

As Guero expected, Bottles already let out a moan much louder than any he probably thought he could produce. Bottles tried to cover his mouth with his hand like before to suppress any more noise, but a hand caught his wrist before he could. 

“Nope,” Guero said, breathy and light, barely removing himself from Bottles’ neck. He could feel the man’s heartbeat from where was. It was enough to make him dizzy. “I wanna hear all the sounds I’m getting out of you.”

To his delight, Bottles complied. Though hesitantly, he relaxed more into Guero’s touch, letting his moans escape from his mouth much more freely. He was thrusting into Guero’s hand so shamelessly, he wasn’t sure if he knew he was doing it. 

Fuck, a part of Guero really wanted to finish him off like this; needy and desperate and loud. What he would give to cover him in enough bruises and bites for them to be permanent. Enough to permanently mark him as part of the club. As Guero’s. 

Another part of Guero wanted him to rough him up until he was bleeding and begging. 

He looked back at Bottles, who’s glasses somehow got lost in everything. If he wasn’t red before, he sure as hell was now. Eyes darting everywhere except at the man over him. Some hickeys were already blooming on his neck and jaw—reddish pink setting fondly into his skin. 

Guero let a few beads of saliva fall out of his mouth and onto his hand, hastily re-wetting their cocks, stroking them much faster than before. He did originally want to draw this out further, but damn, if he was here any longer, neither of them would ever get back to Santo Padre. 

He set his forehead back against Bottles’, their moans hungry and low as they tried to reach the high together. At least, that was Guero’s intention. Bottles, on the other hand, was inexplicably fixated on Guero’s lips. 

They were pink and bruised and painfully close to Bottles’ face. He wanted to kiss him so badly. He wasn’t sure why, it just felt right. Maybe he was just a romantic like that. Though, he wasn’t sure any of this could be considered romantic. He decided against it, figuring if Guero wanted to, he would’ve done it already. 

Rather than cluttering his mind with all the things he’d like to do, conceded to what he could do—get lost in all the senses overtaking him. His heartbeat pounding back into his ears. The sound of skin hitting slick skin echoing through the van. Guero’s hot breath and giggly moans hitting his face. The hand around his and Guero's cock that was moving like he’d done this hundreds of times over. 

His wrist was still caught in Guero’s free hand. Light enough that it wouldn’t take much effort to break free, but Bottles didn’t move.

Bottles came first with a much too loud whimper, his orgasm washing over him in waves. Cum spilt over Guero’s fingers as he continued to stroke their cocks together. Overstimulation buzzed through Bottles as Guero reached his climax as well, both of them groaning and gasping into each other as they came down from their high. 

Eventually, Guero sat back up, as much as he would’ve liked to pass out in the crook of Bottles’ neck. He licked some of the mess of cum off his hand before he noticed Bottles staring. “Did you want some?” 

“Fuck off,” Bottles said, rolling his eyes.

After tucking his dick back into his pants, Guero removed himself from Bottles' lap, sitting beside him as they caught their breath—stretching his back as he settled down. It was probably a bad idea to stay hunched over like that for so long. He could notice Bottles stretching out his legs, too. Though, he couldn't say he regretted it. 

The windows were fogged up, as well. Guero couldn’t say he was surprised. 

They sat like that for some time, staring forward at the trunk door of the van, both of them trying to come up with something to say that wouldn’t make it too awkward. Or, at least more awkward than they assumed the other person thought it was. Neither of them could find anything they liked. 

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Guero started after a while, turning over to face Bottles, who was putting on his slightly foggy glasses. Its casualness cut through the silence like a knife. 

“Yeah?—” Bottles attempted to respond before being cut off with an oddly tender kiss. 

“Could you drive us back?”

[raayllum]

So we are sure as anything that is going to be Callum that releases Aaravos at the end of the day (being terrified of being possessed again? Now the gang literally HAVE THE PRISON? Yeah he’s gonna be possessed and forced to open it for SURE! Poor boy what will that do to him..?)

But one thing that hasn’t happened yet is Rayla losing Callum. Callum has lost Rayla once and nearly lost her twice now, but we are yet to see Rayla do something to get Callum back (maybe we can include the ship scene but I don’t feel like it’s quite to the same extent that Callum has nearly lost her, if you get what I mean)… how do you think this is going to happen?! If at all? I LOVED season 5 and can’t wait for what happens next!!

I forget if I thought Callum would free Aaravos post-S3 or S2 (maybe, ever since the Key was introduced)? But definitely post TTM I thought he'd have a role to play there. I've always leaned towards it either 1) not being under possession, but coercion, or 2) if it is under possession, it's because Callum took a risk (and knew what he was risking being possessed by doing it). The writers always like force characters into being aware of the choices they're making / retaining agency even in the terrible choices they're making (i.e. Harrow being aware of and agreeing to Viren's plan to kill Zym in 3x06's flashbacks, rather than being ignorant and therefore blameless in it, which they easily could've done). I don't think Callum can just have a "whoopsie daisie I'm suddenly possessed again through no reaffirmed fault of my own decision making" since that kinda feels like it's letting him off the hook too much for whatever he does, but if they just want to go full throttle on the "no agency" angle, that would be a valid route of its own kind of horrific (even if it may not be the one from a theorizing standpoint I currently prefer but hey, canon could change my mind).

For Rayla and Callum, I think their arcs (intersecting and circling each other as always) are going to be opened and book ended, most likely, by Massive acts of love for each other for arc 2 (up till S6, most likely). Currently for both of them, they've done their initial, unhealthy "going to dark places is an act of love" for one another:

1) Rayla leaving during the timeskip / through the moon

and Callum doing dark magic about a season later to save her life

The fact the choice is something they both cover up and know the other person wouldn't like, the shouldering it alone, the "I have to. I love you too much not to," etc. I don't think it's a coincidence that a few episodes after Rayla reflects on what inspired her to leave — "I left without him because I couldn't bear to put him in danger. I knew I had to be strong alone" — and trying to be what she didn't want to be (a lone assassin) that we see Callum making a similar decision after he was forced back into a path he also didn't want to take (a dark mage), that Finnegrin got his head enough to warp him: "All that talk about how love makes you stronger" and Rayla making him 'weaker.' And, like Rayla, he keeps a secret to try and shoulder it alone, at least at first.

Which is in line of how he and Rayla were already starting to switch in S4, with Rayla acting more like him upon her return and Callum acting more like her because of her absence, and nicely leads up to them both reaffirming that they are each's strength and each other's weakness, eventually. (Good and bad, light and dark, pain and love. Two cakes!)

I always figured Callum would do something ultimately self destructive in order to save her, just because they tend to be very reciprocal (and he tends to hit her plot beats a season after she does, anyway) so it seems, due to the symbolism and framing and patterns, that Callum doing dark magic for her is his Narrative counterbalance for her leaving him in Through the Moon. (This is very in line with their S2 and S3 patterns as well, where Rayla saves him and Ez in a way from Soren and Claudia in S2, and then Callum saves her from Soren and Claudia over the dragon fiasco; as well as in S3, with Rayla risking her life to keep Sol Regem away from him, and then Callum jumping off the Pinnacle to save her, etc).

So what, you ask, is Rayla's big gesture moment - and what could Callum's reciprocal moment be? Well...

2) Rayla breaks Callum free of the brainwashing + identity reconciliation arc

This has been foreshadowed and set up for a variety of reasons — Rayla showing up in a halo of light and always reaffirming Callum's agency in S4; Callum asking her to be the one to kill him in 4x07, and this according quote exchange from the Book One Novelization ('"Wow. So they look identical, but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said. "Exactly," Rayla smiled. "Just like me"); Rayla's role being highlighted in the actual possession scene in 4x04 and Aaravos mocking her for being unable to kill; Rayla's epiphany in S5 about being "stronger together" at all. If you want more details on all of this I would heartily recommend this meta I wrote regarding Rayla's duality as Callum's salvation and destruction, written pre-s4, and then updated post-S5. Now moving on...

Book 6 is gonna be stars, and stars are associated with Destiny. So is dark magic with control. Thus, Callum confronting the destiny Aaravos has given him (and being possessed again by proxy) seems the most likely for this season. We also know we're going to learn about Rayla and Stella's history eventually (and given that Stella means star, and is connected to the Star primal) and it would make sense to get that backstory in S6 as well. We know we're learning more about the Key of Aaravos (rune cube) and most likely Leola (and her last wish) next season as well. Last but not least, S5 reveals that Rayla's parents can presumably be saved by using star magic / quasar diamonds, and that Callum is even more dedicated to freeing them to some degree than Rayla is, at least in terms of Prioritizing it.

Okay, but what does this all have to do with anything? Well...

It seems pretty certain that Rayla's Big Moment, as you've indicated, has to happen, and will be her refusing to kill Callum and instead breaking him free of the brainwashing. The strongest evidence is actually things I haven't touched on yet, which is that this dilemma and plot beat would resolve both of their character arcs that S4 set heavily into motion.

For Rayla, she's been struggling for seasons feeling like a failed assassin / that she can't kill someone, and that this is a weakness. The fact that it's Callum's life on the line vs the world ("my heart for Xadia") is just the icing on the cake and is a trolley problem she's faced before ("You let him live, but you killed us all!" / "No, you have two choices: you all die, or just the wretched, evil human dies"). So her not killing Callum, and instead saving him, would resolve her arc in a variety of ways:

Prove that her good soft heart is a strength and not a weakness

Reaffirm her love, devotion, commitment to Callum and promising to Not leave again

Prove to her that she can save people (4x05's "we can't save everyone") and that she won't always inevitably mess things up

Rayla refusing to sacrifice something, for once, for the good of the world

Her path in this is so straightforward there is little doubt in my mind, like, come on. It's not subtle and I love it

This isn't even touching on Rayla's parallels / thematic opposition to the other person vying for control over Callum, Aaravos, which if you're interested in you can read more about here. <3

Alternatively, Callum's side of things is far more complicated / less clear. This is for a few reasons:

There will be a choice, presumably, that leads to him getting brainwashed. The most obvious of these is him doing (dark? Star?) magic to free the Moon fam and Kpp'Ar from the coins, but it could be something else. Being willing to take a chosen risk opens up the door for him to feel responsible if/when he plays his role in Aaravos' plans (bc he presumably Has to, since S6 can't end well under any circumstances).

If he is randomly brainwashed, he will have to make a conscious choice to play into Aaravos' hands after breaking free from the brainwashing. This will probably be under coercion or due to a loved one (either Ezran or Rayla) being in danger or threatened. I've always leaned towards Rayla because they've had primary conflict for longer and her weird associations with the cube and its foreshadowing, and for a few other reasons I'll discuss here briefly below.

What's not in doubt, to me, is Callum - willingly or unwillingly - continuing on his dark path within Aaravos' clutches. Whether this would include breaking him free under coercion (but not brainwashing) is debatable, but we'll see when we get there I suppose (if we get there). What does need to be answered, here, is what Callum's Reciprocal Act of Love would be. It seems that he'll have to save Rayla back in turn from something, after all.

Likewise, there's a few options in no particular order:

He saves Rayla from having to make a terrible choice regarding her parents, either to have a life without them or for her to do dark magic to free them by taking that on himself.

A lot of Callum's identity changes have been because of her absence and subsequent shut down. Rayla reaffirming her identity by saving him is also the process by which Callum reaffirms his own identity by choosing her / being able to be saved. A mutual identity reconciliation happening simultaneously, if you will. And throwing off Aaravos' control certainly would be an act of love!

He frees Aaravos to save her life after she breaks him free of the brainwashing, since choosing Rayla and defying Aaravos could be choices that cannot be reconciled.

I lean towards something beyond the mutual Identity Reconciliation because I think 1) Callum being able to express his feelings for her is also very important to his growth for this arc and they've teased him saying "I love you" again quite a bit thus far and 2) I think Rayla, as a character and her core of sacrifice (what does it matter to her, after all, if she gets majorly injured saving Callum) would really benefit from being literally, reciprocally saved, but these are the various avenues I think are the most likely. But I do think their S6 (or whenever the possession plot line is resolved, maybe it is only in S7, who knows) arc is resolved, it'll be with a Big Act of Love from Callum as well, with Rayla's being saving him from said brainwashing.

Anyway, I hope this answered your question and that said answer wasn't too long! Thanks for asking & for reading <3

[drabbles-mc]

I do not know if you are still during the dirty headcannons (or when they even started because I just ran across the one you did for Gilly and completely blacked out) but I would love to see what your little gremlin brain can some up with for Y for Miguel or EZ. Whomever, really. I know I am not going to be ready, but I will welcome it either way. I love you.

the way that there is never really an end date to any ask game i reblog because i'll always reply no matter how late you send it 😂 plus let's be real @darqchilddaydreamz let that shit sit and collect some interest before she came bursting into my inbox with that so we're all on this journey together now lmao

thoughts under the cut for: Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?)

perhaps someone should take my laptop and entire tumblr account away from me because the actual first thing that popped into my head when i read this in regards to Miguel was that that man should be happy that i call him anything let alone something he prefers 😂😂 but that's a me problem. just because i deem him unfuckable doesn't mean that he is lmao

but! on a more serious note. i do think that Miguel is the kind of guy who is very into the whole "Sir" thing. he's on that power trip constantly and we both know that it won't end just because he's in the bedroom. and while in my head he doesn't use any petnames for his girl that are particularly out of the ordinary, i do think that the tone in which he says those pet names are really what sets the whole mood. i think that a majority of the time they aren't really said with affection as much as they are said like a taunt. that's the game he's looking to play. nine times out of ten he wants someone to stroke his ego and if you want to do that by calling him Sir then he won't say no.

howeverrrrr that one other time out of ten????? i think that the right woman would most definitely be able to flip that dynamic on its head. a man with a complex like the one he's got??? the second someone is able to get him into submission mode it is game over. you could taunt and coo and call him baby as patronizingly as you want but if you had him in the right headspace for it he'd still be falling over himself to do whatever it is that you want. as he should be. 😌

Ezekiel on the other hand??? look. we all know. we all know I'm a mess and I'm biased about this man and i simply cannot be stopped. we all know this. but. in terms of things that i haven't already written or blown your dms up about...i have had....a thought or two in my time...

thoughts like i knooow this man has slipped up and called his girl "mommy" without meaning to before. that man has all that trauma and all those repressed feelings. he is a posterchild for it. and the first time it happens he doesn't mean to but once he says it, it's not like he can just take it back. he doesn't mean to say it and he definitely doesn't expect it to be something that feels good after the initial three seconds of panic after he said it. but he did and it does and then it's something that he now knows about himself.

and it's never an accident after that. it's not a constant though either. it happens when he feels like everything is falling apart or out of control and he needs to feel like he's the one being taken care of for once instead of being the one taking care of people. and he's soft and he's needy and he's never really let go of control like that before.

ANYWAY. if you ever find yourself wondering what's going on in the recesses of my little gremlin brain. there's a tiny little slice of it for you. 😂 we out here sleep-deprived and full of thots 😂😂

Dirty Headcanon Game

[calweathers17]

Right right right so, a small story based on yesterday's events I had (Cal will be based on me WOOO)

________

The trio Bobby, Cal and Monty went to the nearest shop only because Bobby forgot to bring himself some food, he also bought some other things for his friends as he was awarded as the father of the group and today's events will prove why.

The line wasn't that long as they expected it to be but Bobby was super grateful for that, less time with the "children" in that hell of a public place. They made it to the cashier only having like 2 people in front of them, not too bad. Talked too soon.

"Hey Cal, Look look!" Monty called out to Cal his tone was a semi-loud one.

Cal quickly turned to where the voice came from, both of them spotted those.. neither of them knew their name but they could spin it! Already something useful on it, on each side it contained bracelets.. glasses and some jewelry.

The future Dinoco racer was the one to rest his hands on it but quickly found out it was quite.. instabil. However after Monty held it in case it would fall (won't do much, out of fear Monty would most likely let go of it) Cal felt more confident to spin it around revealing all the stuff it contained.

Bobby didn't even bother he just stood next to the food they bought not paying much attention to the two and that was a mistake for sure, it did make some cracking noises that made the two for a bit.

"I originally wanted to see the glasses.." Cal chuckled and to be honest Monty was giggling too but both of them tried to remain quiet until Monty said something similar to what Cal said before.

"I wanna see the glasses.. holdon." He whispered and this time he spun it. Quick note, whatever got into Monty's hands wouldn't be taken back without a scratch on it.. Bobby got worried but Cal just encouraged him but seeing him not doing it as much good as Cal did he took the lead there.

"I got this dude, wait." Cal only had his hands on it for a few seconds before it made a louder cracking sound.. like they just broke something. Cal's hands froze for a second along with him but just for a second before he crossed his arms and slowly made his way back to Bobby like nothing happened along with Monty yet they didn't have to take many steps because Bobby just grabbed their arms and dragged them back.

Both Cal was laughing quietly while Monty only had that grin on his face that was impossible to wash off and well Bobby... just stood there with his head down.

After that they were forced to wait patiently until Bobby got to pay out the food and drinks and once they were out both the future Dinoco and Rust-eze racer broke down laughing.

"Did you guys break something?" Bobby asked his voice revealing some worry and annoyance but that obviously won't stay for too long with the other two.

"No??" Cal looked up trying to stand up for himself and keep his voice steady. "Whatever this shop has just suck, That's not my fault!"

"No man you definitely broke it!" Monty said louder.

"No I didn't!"

"Both of you touched it!" Bobby stepped between the two even if he was aware that this argument wasn't real between the two.

"Monty is the one who breaks everything anyways." Cal crossed his arms and looked away.

"Shut up!"

_________

THIS WAS RUSHED so if you saw any mistakes no you didn't, English is my second language blame it on that‼️

QUICK NOTE: They're like 15-17 here so that's what the "future racer" means🔥‼️

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Edge of Seventeen - Chapter Eight

Here we go then, guys. The chapter of heartbreak... *winces*

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 5,138

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

“So, what’s up, Bish? Why only you and me in here?” Angel asked, after his president had solely called him into templo.  

“Take a seat, Angel,” Bishop began, sitting in his usual place at the table, sighing. He waited until he was seated, running a hand down his face. “I don’t relish in having to tell you this, brother, but I gotta.”

“What?” Angel asked, immediately feeling spooked. Was it something he’d done, was his brother okay, his dad? No, EZ had to be fine, he’d noticed his bike upon entering the yard, which just left his dad. Or Bella? He might’ve only just left her, but what if... all these concerned thoughts began to flash through his mind as he tried to read the man adjacent from him, only able to see one thing very clearly; whatever it was, it wasn’t good at all.  

Bishop pressed his lips together, knitting his fingers on the table before him. “I was talking to Hadleigh earlier about her end of semester work, and I happened to mention that Bella is busy with the same, telling her that you guys were dating. She immediately reacted quite badly to that, which confused the fuck out of me, until she told me why. Angel, ahh. Christ.” He looked away for a moment, before staring him right in the eye, the lamentation clear. “Bella isn’t eighteen, mano. She’s sixteen.”

Angel started blankly at him for a few seconds, before laughing in disbelief. “No, she ain’t!” he snorted, looking around the room. “Where is she? Where’s ass face? Y’all both trying to double team punk me or some shit, I swear.” He even moved his chair back and searched under the table, but there was no hidden Hadleigh, just her father, his face not moving. When Angel straightened up and saw that, he knew it was no joke, a cold tide rising in his stomach. “Tell me everything she said, Bish.”

He fulfilled that request, watching Angel’s frown deepen all the while, hating the situation. What was Bella thinking, though? Getting into a relationship with a man twenty years older than her, when she was still just over a year underage? It anyone was to blame, it was her. Bishop thought all this and more, watching Angel, who seemed as if the bottom had fallen out of his world, staring at a fixed point across the table, his face a mixture of anger and hurt as he pulled his cigarettes out, lighting up.  

“I appreciate you telling me, man. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Without further word, Angel left, tearing a path out of the clubhouse, heading for his bike and hitting the road again, La Jolla bound. It would be late by the time he arrived, but he needed answers, for Bella to explain herself, and he needed it to happen sooner rather than later.  

‘She’s sixteen. I’ve been fucking a goddamned sixteen-year-old for the last five fucking months!’ he thought as he hit the highway, anger pulsing through him as he pulled harder on the throttle, speeding up. ‘How could she do this? Was she ever gonna come clean to me? If she lied about her age, just what else has she fucking lied to me about?’

The most horrible thing that overrode all of those thoughts, though, was the heartbreaking reality that he now had to lose her. That thought made his heart burn, the crushing realisation that he had to let go of the love of his life. He would never again wake up to watch the morning light gild her as she slept, never kiss her, never hold her in his arms, never hear her whisper how much she loved him, never watch her perform, feeling like she was singing just for him, never be inside of her...

“God fucking damnit!” he yelled out loud. She was sixteen, and he’d had sex with her hundreds of times at that point. That knowledge did not sit easily with him, that she was just a kid, still, yet he’d been with in ways he absolutely wouldn’t have, had he known her real age. If she’d told him she was sixteen at that bar he’d first met her at, he’d have turned around and walked away. There were a lot of things Angel had little to no moral compass over; underage girls weren’t one of them.  

Bella was just finishing typing up the second to last part of her assignment, lying surrounded by notes on her bed, her laptop before her when she heard the unmistakable sound of Angel’s Harley outside, her head shooting up, wondering why he’d obviously gotten all the way home and then decided to come back at 11:25pm, as the time was when she looked in the corner of her laptop screen.  

“Hey, big sexy,” she cooed from the door as he took his helmet off, hanging it off the handlebars, his goggles and gloves stashed away in the rear compartment. “What are you doing back here, hmm? You miss me that much?”  

His face was stony as he walked down her path, Bella feeling her heart skip a nervous beat. Her honey looked furious, and immediately she reached for him. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Her stomach dropped unpleasantly when he pushed her hands away and continued into the house without a word, Bella closing the door behind her. Whenever he was angry, Angel seemed to grow about a foot taller and wider, his form huge and imposing as he took up what appeared to be much more space than he ever had before in her kitchen.  

“You lied to me.” He turned to her; his eyes dark, furious. “How could you fucking lie to me?”

Her lower lip trembled, her throat tightening as a cold wave of dread washed through her. Oh god. He knew. She didn’t know how, how he’d discovered it, what she was hoping he wouldn’t, but naively, hadn’t had a clue how the hell to reveal to him when she’d known how serious their relationship was getting, but somehow, he had. He knew she was only sixteen. In her defence, Bella hadn’t ever thought Angel would have become as significant as he had to her, and by the time he had, she was in too deep. Because she knew, she knew he’d end it, and losing him? She couldn’t bear the thought of it.  

“Angel, I’m sorry,” she began, her voice pinched tight by emotion. “I should have told you, but by the time I knew I needed to come clean, I was so in love with you that I couldn’t bear to risk losing you. It... it doesn’t have to change anything, though,” she began, her furious boyfriend cutting in.

“It fucking changes everything!” he yelled, making her jump, suddenly quite frightened of his escalating anger. “I can’t do this, Bella! You’re a fucking kid, it ain’t right!”

“You’re breaking up with me?” she squeaked, her eyes raining tears down her cheeks. She wanted him to love her enough that her age didn’t matter, but because of her age, Bella didn’t realise that it didn’t work like that. She was too immature to see how it couldn’t work like that.

“Damned right, I fucking am!” he yelled. It was only six hours ago that he’d made her pledge never to leave him, and here he was, leaving her.  

She stared at him through her glassy eyes, sniffing hard. “Tell me, how many people have you killed in the last five months? How many kilograms of heroin have you moved for the cartel?” Yes. At that point in their relationship, she had wanted to know a little more about what he did, thinking it was likely better that she knew. Their relationship that was made void as of twenty seconds ago.  

“That’s entirely fucking different!” he shouted.  

She scoffed, her eyes wide. “So, that’s how it works with you, huh? You can pick and choose what laws you break and which ones you don’t?”

“It’s fucking statutory rape, for fucks sake, Isabella! If we carry on, I could be fucking locked up for that shit, don’t you understand? Do you know what happens to those guys in jail, those who have sex with minors? It ain’t gonna have any explanation there, like the truth of the matter, that I got lied to by my girlfriend and thought she was eighteen!”  

It hit her a little more then, but yet she still plead her case. “It’s just… I’m legal age in England, and…”

Angel all but exploded. “We’re not in fucking England though, Bella! You lied to me; right from the start, flat out lied.” He shook his head, staring at her incredulously.  

“But… but…” she sobbed.

“What?” he roared, angrier that she’d ever seen him. Something turned unpleasantly in her guts, to know that she was the sole cause of it. 

“But I love you.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes, aggressively running his hands through his hair, clutching it in his fists as his jaw set. “And I love you, too. That’s why this hurts so fucking much! I can’t be with you, though. Not just because you’re only sixteen, but because I’ll never trust you again. Ever. We’re done.”

He picked up his keys, making a start for the door.  

“Angel, please don’t go,” she wailed, her heart racing, each beat sending a chill through her blood. Reaching for his arm, her attempt to halt him was rebuffed, Angel yanking himself away from her.

“I’ll bring your stuff by tomorrow. I don’t want you in my life at all after that.”

Gone.  

He was gone, Bella dropping to her knees as he slammed the door behind him, screaming as her heart shattered and she cried, and cried, the sound of his bike roaring away making it even more real, the noise hitting her like thousands of knives, cutting the pieces of her broken heart to further smithereens.  

And it was all her fault. Because she was too young to know how to get herself out of the mess she’d gotten in through not telling the truth, for falling so hard in love with a man she knew she shouldn’t have been with, or rather, one who wouldn’t have wanted to know, had he known her real age. In not wanting herself to be hurt, she’d hurt him, very deeply. The way he’d looked at her, she’d seen it, how broken he was at having to end it with her.  

She curled into a ball, sobbing hard, until her voice rasped, her eyelids swelling, her arms aching for him to return to them, so she could press herself against him, feel his warmth, so everything would be okay again.

Without him, nothing would be okay.  

For her, it was the end of the world, and her once happy, cloud free sky was now on fire.  

All she wanted was him, and he was gone. All that would make this better was to have him return, and apart from dropping back her things, he never would again. And it was her fault.  

Bella tried in vain for about an hour to pull herself up off the floor, finally managing, shuffling to her jacket and grabbing her cigarettes, taking a big throw from the couch and wrapping it around herself. It still faintly smelled of him, from when he’d covered them with it two weeks previously after having sex on the couch as soon as they’d arrived back at her place, her mum out with friends for the evening.  

Smelling him there on the ecru coloured woven blanket, her heart thudded sadly, yet it was a comfort, to smell his scent, Bella burying her nose against that patch and inhaling deeply as she swathed herself in it, moving to sit in one of the big chairs outside on the deck, lighting her cigarette. She finally managed to cease her tears after her third, watching the waves rolling in and out in the distance, the sea a little choppy that night, tumultuous, perhaps, exactly how she felt inside. Wracked by tumult.  

“If I’d have told him, I’d have lost him. As it stood, I lost him still anyway. Honestly, what did you think would happen, huh? Did you think you could just keep on skating through it all on a lie, and hide your age from him forever? You fucking idiot, Bella!” she fumed at herself, sighing, thudding her head back against the seat several times. Her tears returned, sobbing her heart out, her entire body aching with the sadness of knowing Angel wasn’t hers any longer. How had he found out, she wondered? Not that it mattered, he had, and that was the worst possible scenario, that he’d discovered the truth from someone else, and not her.  

She should have told him.  

She knew it.  

Sitting there sobbing her way through cigarette number four, she replayed all the special moments with him in her mind, their first kiss, their first date, the time at the zoo, the first time they’d had sex, all the mornings she’d woken up next to him, with him grumbling ‘come here, then’ sleepily as he’d turned onto his back, and she’d scooted across the bed to rest her head upon his chest and enjoy some cuddles while they were still all sleepy, all the times he’d told her he loved her, the plans they’d made, the future they dreamed of.  

While she sat out there on the deck, looking up tearily into the night sky, Angel thought of all that and more as he lay on his back in bed, being able to smell the scent of apple shampoo all over the linen, thinking about stripping the bed for the fresh set he knew he had in the cupboard. He then thought better of it. That scent, it would never be there ever again, that prospect making him feel like someone was twisting a knife in his chest. He might as well enjoy it until it faded.

How could she have done it? How? She’d made him fall madly, crazily in love with her, and she wasn’t who she said she was. Bella, he’d thought, was a young woman whom he was very lucky to have. Not a fucking kid, who being with could have earned him a spell behind bars and the status of a fucking sex offender. That’s what twisted him up the most, that she seemingly didn’t care about the trouble she could have gotten him into.  

No, it wasn’t that, a little voice within reminded him. What she’d said, as flawed as her justification was, he believed. She was too in love with him to risk losing him, as she knew she would the moment he knew that she was only sixteen. She didn’t have the emotional maturity to navigate herself out of the mess she’d made for them both, and as an adult, he realised that, understood it from stupid mistakes he’d made borne of untruths he’d spoken, back when he was around her age, too. It killed him, though, because in every other respect, she was remarkably grown up for her age. Hell, she was the one who kept him cool when he was losing it and acting out, behaving in ways that weren’t befitting of a thirty-seven-year-old man.  

Did he really, really have to end it, he wondered, as he lay there, his heart aching terribly over the loss of his beautiful love.

“Of course, you fucking do!” he fumed at himself, sitting up and sweeping a hand through his hair, feeling his eyes fill with tears. It was a year until she was legal, her birthday next week, what he thought would be her nineteenth, actually her seventeenth. Could he wait twelve months for her?  

“No. Because you can’t trust her.”  

With the answering of his own question, he got up, walking through to the lounge and picking up a bottle of tequila, swigging a few mouthfuls before sitting down on his couch, picking at a piece of fluff on the light grey sweats he’d changed into as soon as he’d arrived home. The BK’s, as his now-ex coined them. Bella killers.  

“Could that big swinger between your legs be any more prominent through those sweats?” he remembered her exclaiming, the first time she’d seen him wearing them.  

“Yeah, it could,” he’d chirped. “If you come over here, get on me and make it hard.” She had, which had resulted in him pounding her so vigorously, he feared they might break his couch. He shuddered a little, feeling guilt smack at him for enjoying it so much, with a girl he now knew was underage. God fucking damn her.  

It kept hitting him, like touching an electric fence, each jolt burning through him as he tried to imagine it, a life without her in it. It fucking hurt so much, like something sharp was twisting around in his insides, cutting against him where he’d developed a softness for her. Nope. He had to harden himself, and rapidly, before it hurt him any deeper than it already had.  

Easier said than done.  

When he’d finally slept that night, slumber aided by a quarter of a bottle of tequila, he dreamed of her, his brain playing images of her lying next to him, the way the morning light hit her perfectly as he’d watch her sleep, reaching to stroke her. In his dream, it was all okay. In his dream, what she’d told him was true, she was eighteen, and they didn’t have to part. He held her to him, and it felt so real.  

“Baby? Why are you crying?” she asked, her beautiful green eyes, so full of adoration, watching as he blinked tears down his cheeks.  

“Because it isn’t real. You ain’t here, and you can never be again.”

“What?” she chuckled, drying his face with her thumbs, kissing his forehead as she pulled him close. “I’m right here, and I’m never leaving, you hear? I’m not going anywhere without you, my big sexy.”  

He woke up feeling like someone had kicked him in the chest, reaching for the empty side of the bed with a sigh. He hated her for what she’d done, how she’d deceived him, but fuck. He couldn’t stop himself from loving her still. Also, he couldn’t get back to sleep either, so just lay there, sad, alone, wishing with everything within him that things were different. In the end, he decided four hours were enough, grabbing a spare grocery bag and beginning to fill it with her things. There wasn’t much, some underwear, a few tops, some earrings, her face wash, toothbrush, moisturiser and roll-on deodorant from the bathroom, a couple of other items, too.  

One of her earrings was missing, the second from a pair of small, brown hawk feathers, Angel turning his bedroom upside down, trying to find it. She must have lost it on the way back to his one night, it would explain the presence of only one. Looking around the lounge for anything he might have missed, he found one of her bracelets on the coffee table, stroking the beads tenderly before putting that in with the rest, sighing.  

His eyes flitted up, seeing the picture of them on the wall. Nope. Down it came, Angel resisting the urge to haul it against the wall and smash it, taking it to his bedroom and hiding it behind the shelving unit in there, until he knew what to do with it, leaving the house thereafter. He loaded the bag before mounting his bike, figuring he’d get an early start at work before a day that involved various pressures put upon them by Galindo, Angel planning on dropping her things back to her sometime that evening. Hopefully, she’d be out.  

After getting in a good few hours there on his own, shunting metal around, sorting out piles of copper and brass, various others began arriving, Bishop among them.  

“Hey,” he greeted him with, Angel sitting on the steps of the clubhouse, relaxing with a cigarette and a large mug of coffee. “Everything alright?”

“No, but it will be. Just need time, man,” Angel replied succinctly, with an air of finality.  

Bishop nodded, walking up the steps, pausing to grasp his shoulder. “If people wonder why she ain’t around any longer, they won’t be hearing it from me, the reason. That’s for you to speak of.”  

“Appreciated.” Truly, it was nobody else’s business but his, anyway. Besides, guys were guys. ‘Oh, you broke up? Damn.’ End of conversation.  

You broke up.  

They broke up.  

He still couldn’t believe it was real, that this is how life had fucking played him. He’d found his perfect woman, the girl who honestly was the love of his life, and she’d been the one to fuck it all up, and not him. He’d watched his ass with her for the last five months, knowing how good he had it, how life was better for having her in it, how he couldn’t and wouldn’t blow it with any kind of antics he knew she wouldn’t stand for.

No cheating, no acting like a dick (well, not too much, and the little he had, she’d let him know wasn’t acceptable) no being overly dramatic, no doing anything to blow it all up. Maybe it was god, or the universe or whatever giving him his due, his payback for acting completely the opposite with women for most of his adult life, to make it so the one he really, really wanted it to be forever with, was the one he no choice but to leave.  

He then shook himself. This was on her. This was Bella’s fault entirely. He felt anger rear its ugly head and chomp at him again, like a pissed off snapping turtle reacting to being prodded. Without thinking, he moved his hand to the upper left of his chest, self-soothing, stroking the skin that bore her name, until he caught himself doing it and grumbled with agitation. God, he hated this, and without even knowing why, anyone who even so much as annoyed him even a fraction that day saw just how much he hated it, too.  

“Yo, why y’all being snappy over there, dog? What, Bella not suck your dick enough last night?” Coco threw at him sharply later that morning, while they sat in templo, Bishop wincing slightly.  

Angel drew fiercely on his cigarette, his president on his guard to grab him if he lunged. He expected little less. “Don’t mention her name to me again. Same as none of y’all. I ain’t with her no more.”  

Coco smirked. “Oh, she finally got that eye test, huh?”  

“We done?” Angel asked Bishop, who nodded.  

“We head out through the tunnels tonight, as discussed. Be back here at seven.” The hammer fell, Angel out of there before anyone else, his brother making a start to go after him.

“Hey, Angel,” he called, Angel continuing out the door, EZ quickening his pace to catch him. “You and Bella broke up?” he continued, his tone a little disbelieving. It was purposeful, though, EZ trying to lay it on a little thicker, should he accidently sound too blasé. He didn’t want Angel to know that he’d been waiting for it to happen, for the moment to come where, true to his usual form, he went and fucked up a good thing.  

Angel sniffed sharply, turning to his brother and shrugging, his brows knitting. “What, you want me to skywrite it for y’all?” Sharp sarcasm. Oh, boy. He was hurting. Badly.  

EZ never rose to it, though, fair tempered as he was where his loved ones were concerned. “I’m just trying to be here for you, Angel. What happened, if asking that isn’t gonna get me my head bitten off?”

He watched his brother about to let a few more cutting choice words roll off his spiteful tongue, Angel suddenly then thinking better on it. A trick he’d learned from Bella. Think before you speak, rather than possibly regret what you might say thereafter. His heart throbbed sadly. Who’d be there to gently keep his shit in line now she was gone? He was better for her. “I found out something last night, something that meant I had to end it, bro.” He took a deep breath, his jaw tightening. “She’s fucking sixteen.”  

EZ’s eyes almost fell out of his head. Of all the reasons Angel could have revealed, that had to be way back there at the very end of the list of what he’d have guessed. He was stunned. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Angel scoffed, softening a little then. “Yeah. It’s messed up. I couldn’t let it continue, though. Don’t matter how much I still love her. It ain’t right.”

His brother that glad of that. Not that he had Angel particularly pegged to throw caution to the wind where jailbait was concerned, hell, he’d witnessed him let down a few of Hadleigh’s friends in the past when they’d sniffed around him, telling them straight that they’d get nowhere with him, but he knew when Angel had his heart stolen by a girl, it was a tricky job, trying to take it back for himself. “I don’t know what to say, man. Other than I’m fucking sorry, and that you’re doing the right thing. For that, I’m proud of you, for what it’s worth.”

He remained silent, leaning back against his bike, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one up, EZ speaking again. “So, is it done forever, or are you waiting until she’s eighteen?” It wouldn’t surprise him at all if it were the latter. He saw clearly how much Angel loved her.

“I ain’t waiting around for shit, EZ,” he snorted, scratching his neck, blowing a plume of smoke through his nose. “Can’t trust her. She lied.”  

Yes. There was that, EZ supposed. He nodded, grasping Angel’s shoulder before leaving him alone. With nothing to do until he had to be back later that evening, Angel rode out of the yard, spending the day burning gas aboard his bike, thoughtful, contemplative. He got it all out of the way before he returned, the job for the club taking three hours to complete, a relatively simple procedure, yet filled with the kind of risk that left his adrenaline spiking, quick to get out of there again, La Jolla bound. For the last time.  

As he rode, he hoped she’d be asleep, that he’d pull up to the beach house to find it in darkness, but sadly, he wasn’t that lucky.  

Bella was making tea in the kitchen when she heard the thunder of his bike heading towards the house, her heart racing, her mouth going dry. Quickly taking her chamomile tea to the sink, she topped it off with cold water so she could gulp back a little, taking a deep breath and heading to the door. She didn’t know what she’d feel, seeing him again, watching him remove his helmet like he had the night before after opening it, gloves and goggles stashed away, Angel lifting a paper grocery bag out and heading down to her.  

Unlike the night before, he just looked sad when he reached her, holding the bag out, his eyes not kind when they looked down upon her.  

“Thank you,” she whispered, trying to hold it together, placing the bag down on the windowsill to the side of the door. Looking back at him, her face crumpled, a little sob sliding on a gasp from her throat as she covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh god, I’ve hurt you so much, I can’t bear it, Angel. I’m so sorry. It was all my fault.”

“I know.” he replied blankly, yet his eyes softened.  

“And now I have to live without you.”

“You do.” he confirmed, Bella struggling for air. It killed him, to see her so upset. On pure impulse, he took a step closer, reaching for her, his hand finding her cheek, thumb stroking, her tears trickling over it. It churned his insides to shreds, seeing her like that, knowing he had to walk away.  

His feet planted themselves.  

“Please, don’t ever forget how much I love you. I know this is it, this is the end of us, but I need you to remember. I love you, Angel. I love you endlessly, without pause for thought or breath, with every word of every song I sing, every chord I strum, until the last beat of my heart.”

He felt himself break all over again, at hearing those words, Bella’s voice trembling as she cried, unable to stop himself from pulling her close, wrapping her in his arms. That closeness again, it was all they wanted, the feel, the smell of one another, Bella swathed in the warm, safe blanket of him. Yet it hurt. It was a razor’s edge to her insides, knowing it was the last time she’d ever feel it.  

“I know.” he breathed shakily, stroking her hair, pulling away from her. “I know, Bella. I fucking love you, too.” Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her forehead, attempting to turn and walk away. His feet were still planted. She looked up at him, her pretty eyes so dull and lifeless, the only sparkle from her tears as she sniffed and sobbed. Those broken little sobs. They killed him.  

He felt it pull, felt her call to him, his entire body stuck there, thumbs stroking her cheeks, her hands covering his, Angel leaning down and kissing her lips softly. His brain began to scream at him immediately.  

“No. Don’t you fucking do it!”

Their mouths connected again, their kiss deepening.  

“What the fuck, man? No, stop it. Fucking walk away now! This is so, so wrong!”

He reached for her waist, lifting her up as their kisses gained momentum, her legs wrapping around him while he carried her back into the house, kicking the door closed behind him.  

“Turn. Around. Now. You weren’t that guy before, when you didn’t know! You know now! Stop it! For the love of Christ, she’s sixteen! Don’t do it!”

His head screamed at him all the way to her bedroom, but his heart. His heart. It spoke to him with absolutely no sense nor logic, only the blinding love he felt for her, and those were the words that won as he placed her on the bed, his body covering hers. All that he heard was that he was hopelessly in love and devastated that he couldn’t remain with her.  

He had to say goodbye. And that was all it would be. That was all it could be, and they both knew it. And it tore them to pieces even more.  

[cyantomatos]

Wheel of Writing - Day 8

Prompt: “I’ll be damned if anyone makes you feel like you aren’t worthy of being loved.” Pairing: Ezra x f!reader Notes: You know the times where you can’t figure out how to end a fic? Yea, that sucks.

To an outsider, Ezra positively oozed confidence.

You’d thought so too, when you first met him. He was all wide smiles and confident steps, and it wasn’t much of a surprise when you fell for him. And you fell hard. 

You spent a lot of time trying to hide those feelings from him, confident that he couldn’t possibly return them. You weren’t anything special compared to him, just an assistant dragged along on a shitty expedition by your shitty boss and pushed into corners where you didn’t really fit.

Ezra saw you, though.

He saw you when your boss casually put down your abilities, painting you in such an unflattering light that even you began to question if you could do anything right. He saw you when the other diggers, hot and sweaty and tired of whatever Keva-forsaken planet you were on this time, took out their frustrations on you with unkind words and harsh demands. He saw you when you were so tired you thought you couldn’t possibly take another step, still running yourself ragged trying to please others. 

He saw you, despite your best efforts to the contrary, and he didn’t seem to mind at all what he saw.

Your feelings weren’t a surprise, but what was a surprise was when you found out you weren’t alone in those feelings.

What surprised you even more, it turned out, was when you found out Ezra wasn’t anything like the confident man you’d originally thought he was.

There were nights when he would hold you tightly, unbelieving that you could want someone like him but still unwilling to let you go. He called himself selfish once, for ‘dragging you down with him’, believing you would be better off without him and that he was just too selfish to let you go.

It hurt, to see him like that, but nights like that weren’t common.

Not until he came back from that hell people called a moon.

You were just happy he was home, days of silence from his comms and reports of a crashed ship having settled in your chest with a heavy feeling that he wasn’t going to come home. When you were shown into a medical bay room, sterile smell and white walls threatening to overwhelm the fragile hold you had on tears at that point, you didn’t even notice that he’d come back with one less limb. You were just happy he was home at all.

Ezra held you tightly and whispered how scared he’d been he would never see you again. He said he’d missed you, and told you he loved you.

But you didn’t miss how empty his eyes looked now.

You didn’t miss the way he would sometimes flinch away from your touch, only to cling to you tightly later. You didn’t miss the way he tried so hard to act the way he’d acted before and could never seem to quite summon up the energy. You didn’t miss the days where he woke up before you and sat silently staring out the window, practically a shell of the man you’d said goodbye to months before.

You knew it was coming, you just weren’t sure when.

He finally mustered up the courage one rainy day as you stood at the sink, the radio playing softly in the background as you rinsed the soapy dishes.

“You don’t deserve this, stardust.” His voice was quiet, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to be heard above the soft music.

You set aside the bowl you’d just finished rinsing, turning to him with a frown. “Deserve what, Ezra?”

He isn’t looking at you, instead focusing on the faded rug you’d thrifted soon after the two of you scraped together the funds for this apartment as he leans against your dining table. “This life. With me. I never deserved to have you in any case, and now I am even less deserving than I previously was.”

You cross your arms, trying to calm your racing thoughts. Knowing this conversation was coming didn’t make it any easier. “Why are you saying this, Ez? Where did this come from?”

“I hear what people say, stardust. Every time we go out, people talk. I can feel their eyes on us, on me, judging me for dragging you down like a sinking ship. I have just been too much of a greedy coward to do anything about it.” He seems to sink in on himself with every word, and it breaks your heart to see him so beaten down.

You close the few steps between you and him, cupping his jaw in one hand. Despite how he seemed determined to drive you away he still leaned into the touch, eyes sliding closed.

“I am not the only one who sees how you would be better off with someone else, stardust. Or even making your own way. Now more than ever. You deserve far better than an old prospector like me keeping you from the life you are owed.” His one hand grips the edge of the old table, and you know he’s fighting to keep from touching you.

“Ez, look at me. Please.” There’s a moment that stretches long enough you think he might not listen, and then those beautiful eyes are on you and the pain and self loathing that fills them makes tears prick at the back of your eyes.

“There isn’t a single choice I have made since meeting you that I would change, Ezra, save maybe for hiding my feelings from you for so long.” He opens his mouth to protest and you cut him off with your thumb over his lips, smiling at the touch of indignation that temporarily clouds the sadness in his eyes.

“I don’t care what other people think, Ezra. Not when it comes to you. They don’t get to choose who I love or whether you deserve my love, and I’ll be damned if anyone makes you feel like you aren’t worthy of being loved.” Your head tilts forward, forehead resting against his with a soft smile.

“I made my decision a long time ago, Ez. I chose you, and I will continue to choose you every time. No one gets to take that decision away from me, not even you, my love.”

Tears swim in his eyes before he shuts them tightly, finally giving up the fight against touching you to place his hand over yours on his cheek. “I should have known you wouldn’t give up that easily.”

You grin, tilting your head forward enough to press your lips to his softly. “Yes, you should have.”

[pitgritted]

❝ So, HEAR ME OUT— the new album cover. Me ( of course ) in the center, we get a throne, some spray paint.... You and K'Sante can stand BEHIND me. Looking... the way you two do. ❞

Oh. But he's forgotten about the rest of them.

❝ We can put the rest of them somewhere, I guess. They're not really IMPORTANT, per se. Thoughts...? ❞

𝐇𝐄  𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒                                 to  kayn  with  mild  interest  .  convinced  at  first  ,  once  he  actually  started  to  think  about  what  this  specialized  album  cover  would  look  like  ,  but  it  occurred  to  him  kayn  just  wanted  to  be  the  center  of  attention  .  sett  drags  his  tongue  over  his  lips  ,  tasting  the  faint  chocolate  flavor  in  his  protein  shake  ,  tutting  softly  .  ❝  what  ?  ‘yer  sayin’  like  you  want  me  ‘n’  k’sante  to  act  like  ‘yer  guards'  or  whatever  .  sorry  bud  ,  can’t  do  an  album  without  everyone  else  .  ❞

                             he’d  rather  not  get  on  yone’s  bad  side  …  shit  —  ‘phel  too  .  ez’  would  just  give  him  a  bitchy  complaint  with  that  pitched  voice  of  his  —  hurts  his  ears  .  ❝  what’re  you  trying  to  sing  about  anyway  ?  surely  it’s  not  about  being  edgy  or  somethin’  .  if  it  is  —-  join  me  &  k’sante’s  next  workout  sesh  .  it’ll  liven  ‘yer  already  chaotic  mood  .  ❞

[zaenight]

Crazy but she's mine ch21🖤

Jackie groaned its been a month since the events of that night , The mayans & Sons had to hold another meeting , however it was gonna be held during a club party honoring Creepers release .

Jackie had one month left before baby reyes was born , Ez and illiana had built the crib , the nursery being on the other half of their room.

Illiana was excited to be a big sister , Ez and Jackie had decided to wait untill the baby was born to learn the gender.

Ez's hands were around Jackie's waist trailing downwards.

"Nice try , we gotta go." Jackie said as Ez kissed her neck.

"Te amo querida." Ez said as Jackie laughed , The two walked out of the room , Illiana had been picked up by letty and hope who were heading to the party after getting their nails done.

"I love you too Ezekiel." Jackie said as His hands rested on her stomach.

----------

"LITTLE CJ!" yelled tig .

"Hey alex!" Jackie yelled to tig , who was next to Chibs,happy,t.o, and ratboy, Quin ended up being sick , and stayed home.

"Finally , the hell took you so long bro!" Angel yelled , arm around Luisa , who was holding a babbling maverick.

"Your brother couldn't keep his hands to himself." Jackie smirked.

"Mierda , what are you tryna do knock her up even more." Angel said as Ez smirked.

"Shut it!" Jackie laughed , while saying hello to tig and the others.

It wasn't untill A black limo drove into the scapyard that everyone was off put.

Miguel and Emily Galindo stepped out of the limo , arm in arm.

"What the hell?" Ez said arm around Jackie , As Illiana came out of the clubhouse , Ez holding an arm out so she wouldn't ram into the two who were walking up.

Illiana stared at the man who looked similar too her adoptive father , and the woman who watched her with a careful eye , Noticing how Ez had his arm wrapped around the now pregnant woman and the protective arm around the teenager.

"Ezekiel." Emily said with soft eyes , and with a glance towards Jackie's pregnant stomach.

"Emily , this is my old lady Jackie , and our daughter Illiana." Ez stated proudly , barely glancing in the woman's direction.

"Daughter?" She questioned , not seeing any resemblance between the three , and the fact the child would have been around 13 during the time Ez got released from prison , and there was no mention of her, nor mentions of the woman besides him.

"Adopted , biologically im Bishop's , but I came to santo padre with Jackie , and They adopted me together , so basically , Im the reason they got together , because without me , Jackie would have never came here." Illiana said , emily had a small smile , but Jackie noticed the grimance in the her eyes.

"Is there somthing you need?" Ez asked the man , who had just got back from saying hello to Nestor.

"I have a few words to share with Camila , alone." Miguel said , as Jackie clenched her Jaw.

Emily stared confused wondering what he was talking about.

"It's Jackie to you , Ezekiel is the only one allowed to call me Camila , and whatever you have to say , you can say it here and now." Jackie stated , Ezekiel told Illiana to go inside , nodding towards Gurero and Downer to be ready to shoot if necessary.

The sons watched curious , what does a cartel boss want with a Club president's pregnant old ladie.

"I have a propersition for you." He stated.

"I don't think the meetings gonna happen any time soon." Ratboy said as T.o gave him a "you think look".

"Tha' Lass looks angry." Chibs stated as Happy nodded.

"That's the look of murder , Im getting hard just thinking about the blood." Tig said as The sons , and the mayans around him stared disgusted.

"What proposition?" Jackie wondered , Emily stared at miguel , wondering whats going on.

"Leave Ezekiel and the club , come with me and you could have more than you could ever dream of." He said leaving everyone around them shocked.

Untill Jackie let out the loudest laugh.

"Me- Leave with you? -You , don't make me laugh, You have a beatiful wife and last I heard a child , Beside's You can't handle me , and you sure as hell can't fufill my... Sexual needs." Jackie said with a laugh , her tone high pitched and playful.

Ez was furious , Jackie couldn't believe his audacity , Emily was Hurt and confused , and Miguel had a glare as he opened his damn mouth.

"A tu mujer se le debe enseñar a obedecer y mantener la boca cerrada antes de que se meta en problemas." Miguel stated with a glare , Emily let out a gasp as the others watched.

(Your woman should be taught to obey and keep her mouth shut before it gets her in trouble)

Ez was furious , he launched forward , his fist landing a punch in the face of the cartel boss.

As Miguel launched his own punch , it was too late , as Jackie wacked the side of his face with Ez's gun , Miguel could fight But together Ez and Jackie calculated their moves , not having to speak a word.

The Mayans and even the Sons had their guns pointed at Miguel's henchmen.

"I swear to God if you pull that trigger I'll fucking kill you Motherfucker." Angel said pointing his gun towards one of Miguel's men , who's gun was pointed at Jackie's stomach.

"We jus' wanted a meetin' and to drink fuckin' beer , Yet we come ta this fuckin' mess!" Chibs Exclaimed.

"Im so turned on right now!" Tig exclaimed as Angel cursed him out.

"NOT NOW ALEX!" Jackie exclaimed pointing the gun at Miguel.

"Si alguna vez vuelves a hablar así de mi chica, te mataré, me importa un carajo si eres un jefe del cartel." Ez Stated with a glare , boot on Miguel's chest , arm around Jackie.

(If you ever speak about my girl like that again , I'll fucking kill you , I don't give a fuck if your a Cartel boss)

"The only one who should keep their damn mouth shut is you , Also to make myself clear." Jackie said trailing off , Pointing the gun at The henchman who pointed a gun to her stomach , Pulling the trigger , a headshot , as she stared Miguel straight in the eye.

Luckily there was construction work going on so the shot wouldn't have been heard.

"Don't threaten me or my fucking kids , and I'll open my mouth as much as I want , It's my best quality ... in both ways." Jackie smirked .

"Get the hell out of here , Your not welcome , Soledad and The mayans already spoke , she says you need to be thrown out , but if you stay away from the club and my girls , you'll still be part of the trade." Ez said with a glare.

-----------

The man left furious , Emily apologized as She left , Wondering what would've happened to her , if Jackie had said yes.

-----------

As the templo opened Jackie sat up from the couch , slightly , to not wake Illiana , who fell asleep on her lap.

"Everything good?" She whispered.

"Perfect , Samcro is apart of the trade." Ez said as Jackie kissed his cheek , Music blared , as The men laughed and cheered.

"Good , Now give me your hand." She said as He handed her his hand , knuckles were bruised and bloodied.

"You know you didn't have to make Bottles clean up the body right?" Jackie said as her hands traced his hand.

"He's a prospect it's what they do , beside's he had help from samcro's prospect and Nestor." Ez said , watching as Creeper jumped on the bar swinging his shirt around.

"You know he's about to stage dive right?" Jackie said as Ez groaned , kissing her , and rushing towards the bar , along with Angel and Gilly who tried to catch him.

And by tried , it means he landed on Angel's face, let's just say angel almost got a mouthful of di-

Angel cursed as he pushed him off , blabbering and wiping his tongue , Luisa sat By Jackie with a now awake Illiana , And a sleeping maverick , the three laughing.

Letty and Hope were spinning in circle's , yeah they were drunk as hell.

And let's just say Ez had to deal with his drunk Brothers , Specifically a drunk Creeper , who tried pissing off the bar , landing on an unaware Downer , who got laughed at by gurero.

"Jesus fucking christ." Ez murmered as Jackie's hand trailed down his abbdomen , and suddenly he felt much better , as soon as he deals with the drunk idiots , the sooner he can give his girl the time of his life.

"Ay Tiggy Don' drink that , tha bald one pissed in tha' glass!" Chibs exclaimed.

-----------

[destinedtobeloved]

14🙌

This is kinda difficult ngl because I have so many good options that would work with this

If I am too be honest with this- it is a very basic answer but I assure you I have a GREAT travel meal and great reasoning.

Peanut butter jelly sandwich. EZ.

Very basic, I know, but just WAIT till I explain.

This meal is very amazing to take with you when made correctly (in my book.) so, first, whatever bread you got. Technically you could be fancy and use two peices of bread, or you could make it easier and just use one. I always buy this nasty squeez jelly (that still tastes bomb asf may I add) and you put the jelly on one side and get your peanut butter (whatever kind/ type you prefer) and put it on the other side. Then you fold this jelly peanut butter bread piece together and it’s like a lil taco thing

(+ bonus points if made without a plate)

My dad used to make it like that for me all the time so now whenever I need a quick lil thing this is what I do 💀

I think a lot of people can hopefully remember this way of peanut butter jelly made from their childhood too bc it’s bomb

I hope you enjoyed this explaining. I really do hope I read this prompt right because if not imma be embarrassed after all of this 😰 if I did read this prompt, don’t correct me or I will die of embarrassment. Plz an thanks.

[photoniccyclone]

Sun Fueled Rage CUT CONTENT: #1 Unity

Hi everyone! So throughout writing only the first 5 chapters of SFR, there have been a lot of changes to what was initially planned. (Moving scenes around, adding scenes in that weren’t there before etc). While the story has mostly received a net *increase* in size overtime there are still certain scenes that I originally had planned that had to be cut for various reasons.

I thought it would be a fun idea to possibly share some of these ideas with you  (Provided that they are not too spoilery) . I currently have two scenes that I was almost certain I was going to include in chapters 1-5 but these ended up not being included. I’ll be sharing what one of these was going to be today. If you want to see the other one and you want me to make this a thing in the case that more content gets cut from the story, please do not hesitate to let me know! I think this could be fun to do. Just keep in mind that the scenes I will be presenting are descriptions of what the scene *would’ve* been as the two scenes right now were cut before being written. They *were* put into the outline however and it wasn’t until trying to write them in the actual story did I realize there were problems associated with them which is why I consider them cut content. Also keep in mind that most of this is coming from memory, and while I still remember what I wanted to do with the scenes pretty well, their reasons for cutting might be misremembered to some degree. If I realize a correction, I’ll try to edit the post and inform you all. Who knows, when SFR is finished, and if you all want it I could try to make an AO3 story which contains these scenes as fully written one-shots. No promises though. 

It goes without saying but for all of these scenes, spoilers ahead for those of you who haven’t read SFR.

The cut scene we will look at today is a scene from Chapter 1 which I have dubbed “Unity”. Originally this was meant to be very small scene where Ezran and Zym get a portrait painted together as part of the events on the day the treaty was signed. The scene would’ve been foreshadowed during the conversation where the gang was walking through the Katolis halls together while they were on their way to the meeting room for the more diplomatic portion of the day. It would’ve been brought up with Ezran groaning about it and Zym, in response, with his usual snarky nature, bringing up the fact that Ez should be happy because he had the easier pose to do in the painting. 

The painting would then be painted during the festivities and would involve Ezran sitting on Zym’s back smiling adorably while Zym gave his signature smirk along with a wink for the portrait. (This is why Zym told Ez he had the easier pose because... he did... Zym had to stand there like that forever *with* Ezran on his back while Ez just got to sit there. Zym would’ve brought this up during his snarky remark in the hallway earlier, all in good natured banter of course). I’m calling the scene unity due to the fact that that is what the painting would’ve been named. It’s kind of the first thing I came up with when planning the scene. 

This scene was cut for a couple reasons. Initially it was pretty hard to fit into the flow of events of everything. I can remember when writing, trying to find a way to get it in without it feeling forced felt really hard. On top of that, the real nail in the coffin for this scene if I remember correctly was the fact that portraits like this take weeks or MONTHS to do. They wouldn’t have had the time to do this during a one-day event. Also the chapter ended up reaching 16k words even without this scene. The scene, while nice, would’ve probably just made the chapter longer unnecessarily. I also vaguely remember (though I don’t know if this is actually true, my memory may have been getting it jumbled) that I think I planned to describe the unity portrait getting burned up as the castle burned down in chapter 5 as a sort of symbolic thing. Like the end of unity or whatever. After the painting idea was thrown out though, I then considered burning the treaty, but looking at the castle burning scene now I honestly don’t know how I would’ve done either of those without it feeling jarring considering our pov character is OUTSIDE. 

So yeah, that was the first scene that unfortunately had to be axed. I really wanted to include it at first because it would’ve been a cute scene between Zym and Ez I feel that also could’ve served to further establish their dynamic and personalities. It would’ve been some more fluff to add into an already fluffy chapter before the readers got their hearts torn out. However, there were several things with this scene that just... didn’t work... so unfortunately as of now it’s only known in memory. 

If you made it this far through my rambling, thank you for reading all of this and I hope you enjoyed this little insight as much as I enjoyed writing it. This scene in particular would’ve been quite small but I feel the second piece of cut content was significantly more substantial. Again if you wanna see that and have this “cut content” thing be a thing, don’t hesitate to tell me I’ll be glad to offer the the things I have as they come about. 

Thank you and happy new year to everyone!