#(he actually did this for a while🥲and what’s worse it worked. like how fucked is that? anyway)

[bg3-stole-my-soul]

TavTash Tag Game

I was tagged by my beloved bestie @randomfanner to participate in @bearhugsandshrugs and @crystal-overdrive Tavtash game!!

1. Tell us a bit about your Tav!

I have many, but out of them all only 1 is shipped with Gortash, and that is Kieran. Unfortunately I have no pictures of her yet as I haven’t made her in game 🥲

She’s a Zariel Tiefling with a very warm orangey-brown skin tone and a deep scar on her cheek. She’s got pretty horns that she is actually proud of. She has orange-gold eyes. She has long auburn locs. Body type wise she’s built like a brick shithouse and is very androgynous looking (in full armor she’s often mistaken for a man) , but she doesn’t mind this fact.

2. What alignment is your Tav? How does that align or clash with Gortash? Do they agree with him morally?

Kier is Lawful-Neutral good, which leads to a lot of conflict with Gortash. The two often disagree, which does sadden her for multiple reasons. Kieran is usually really easygoing and Gortash is very much not—

3. What God does your Tav follow? Is Gortash's position as Bane's chosen an issue?

Hahahahaha Gortash being Bane’s Chosen is a MASSIVE issue for Kieran because she is a paladin/cleric of Lathander. When she saw him during the cutscene underneath Moonrise girl was genuinely tempted to throw her mace at his skull because “THIS FUCKING MORON BECAME A B A N I T E”

She does make it a personal goal to try and help him renounce Bane and become less of a tyrannical asshat—

4. What did your Tav think of Gortash when they first met? Did they take his offer of an alliance?

Well— the first time they met was actually pregame when they were children. Kieran was the young “apprentice” of the local glassmakers (she was given to them by her parents who did not think they could care for her), and lived not far from Gortash’s family. When she first met him she thought he was a scrawny little dork who was bound to get his ass handed to him in any scraps he got into— so she declared herself his bodyguard and friend. He wasn’t very keen on this big, smiley, weirdo.. but he got used to it. Then one day she disappeared— turns out Raphael impulse buys “useful” children often. So once Gortash was taken to the House of Hope they were reunited and he once again had his protector.. just in a much worse situation. They eventually worked to escape together, but were separated.

When meeting at the coronation she’s… not happy. Like she’s obviously happy to know he’s alive as that was a worry she carried with her for years, but learning he was the Chosen of Bane and trying to take over the world with an Elder Brain? Ya no she very much wishes to BONK him on the head and ask why he thought this was a good idea. She accepts the alliance with a few extra conditions (like having him work to help fix Karlach’s engine because she’s very upset about that) hoping to rekindle their friendship and tell Bane to go fuck himself.

5. How did Gortash and your Tav get together? What do they see in each other?

During the actual story of BG3 the pair have a lot of complex feelings about one another and argue often, but deep down the two could never fully hate one another. They literally survived the Hells together— so lots of tension, lingering glances, and thoughts about what could’ve/should’ve been.

Post Game I think is where the two could finally truly open up to one another. It would take a bit of time, but Kieran would be placed as Gortash’s “handler” while the two work to rebuild the city— and they can fall back into their long ago pattern of working together. Because when not fighting they can work together well, they balance the other out. Very Good Cop/Bad Cop dynamic at times.

As for what they see in one another-

Kieran’s always admired Gortash’s mind. His creativity and ingenuity have always astounded her. As children she often asked questions about his tinkering and encouraged it. She also has (almost) always found his wit funny, even when it got the two of them into trouble.

Gortash on the other hand has (almost) always liked Kieran’s strength, both inside and out Kieran’s never allowed herself to buckle. He admires her perseverance even in times when he would’ve stopped. He also likes that despite his very methodical nature, Kieran’s easygoing and adaptable to almost any situation.

6. What does the future hold for your Tav and Gortash? Are they in a relationship, a one time thing, are they going to rule the sword coast together or kill each other in a tragic showdown?

Realistically? Tragic showdown that would tear Kieran to pieces. Idealistically and because it’s my brainchild? They get together after working together to help rebuild the city (and symbolically their relationship). As for kids I haven’t put a lot of thought into it yet, but they would at least have 2.

Unfortunately I do not have anyone else to tag- but if you wish to participate, please do!!

[heartpascal]

i screamed and cried you got exactly what i was i was thinking but also so much better in my ask about if the door wasn't shut, it's like you're inside my brain. but i have more thoughts since you said you liked them :)

also this is my second time typing this out bc my phone died when i went to send it the first time, so if you get this twice that's my bad😭

but you're so right, i just feel like after everything along with all it took for her to truly feel settled, she wouldn't be able to leave like that. especially not without someone else influencing her to, whether that be actively or passively. but imo, in addition to joel, a big part of why she wouldn't leave is because tommy left, and she wouldn't be able to bring herself to leave maria too

and tommy leaving is so stuck in my head because you're so right(this whole thing is just me agreeing with you😭) that would be so crazy for her. because tommy was there and he knows what that was like for r and joel on both ends. so for him to leave after all that? i actually think in a way it'd be worse than when joel left. because obviously r was hurt and angry with joel, but she gets to a point where she can start to understand why he did what he did and bridge that with the fact that it was okay to feel how she did, and work on reconciling that with joel. but for tommy, that base hurt/anger mixed with grief? and on top of him leaving maria and his kid, and r's own guilt, and everything else like. it would just all be too much. because how can you move past that even when he does come back? their relationship would be forever changed more so than it obviously already is. it's devastating and tragic i'm literally foaming at the mouth i need to write essays about this

obviously she goes with jesse and saves him and everyone comes home safe and okay🥲😭

no but fr i know i'm stuck on the idea of her staying behind, but it's breaking my heart so bad. bc part of her probably did feel like she should go, so she's already going to feel some type of way after she doesn't. but it would just ruin her when jesse doesn't come back. i feel like she'd be stuck for a while on how could she have let him go, and how could she have stayed behind, and how could the rest of them let this happen, when really it wasn't in any of their control. i could sob about it.

dina and her raising jj together means everything to me your mind is so powerful. i need several full length novels about it full of feelings😭

anon i cannot TELL YOU how much i love this and you. YOU MAKE MY DAY!!! i love love LOVE hearing your thoughts it feeds my own fr :’) and omg 😭i’ve only gotten it the once but i feel for you </3 having to type all this out a second time omg

you are so incredibly correct like i cannot even explain. please excuse me if my thoughts are incoherent i am going to do my best 🫡

tlou part two spoilers under the cut

reader and tommy’s relationship would NEVER be the same. honestly i don’t think there would even be a chance for forgiveness like there was with joel. especially because joel did have to go, he didn’t have to leave her, but he did have to go. whereas tommy??? no!!! he could have stayed. he could have done what his brother has been trying to do for YEARS and he could have let it go, for the sake of his wife and his child and R!!!!!!! tommy had so many things in jackson that he should’ve stayed for, and he didn’t. and i don’t think r would’ve been able to forgive that.

not to mention the effects on tommy’s appearance after seattle! i have always always thought that he was reasonable (to himself) for being fucking furious with ellie. because he lost everything, going after abby. he lost his wife, his friends, his functionality???, and ellie seemingly didn’t lose a thing. all the while abby got away just fine! so yeah i think his reaction, considering his state of mind, was reasonable. right? no. but reasonable? yes. BUT!!! imagine the effects of losing reader too???? not to mention how much more damage this would do to his marriage as well like ???? :( maria might have been able to forgive him, one day, but seeing what he did to r, who she sees as her own child???? NO!!!!

so yeah. tommy and reader would never be the same. i’m not sure r would even be able to speak to him again. honestly she’s going through it 😭 loses joel and then tommy and possibly jesse along with him? guys. please. she doesn’t deserve this.

i jsut cant get over it :( she just wouldn’t be able to understand what would possess tommy to leave after everything he’s seen her go through :( after everything he’s HELPED her through :( i think she would really struggle for a long time. she’s lost the only thing she had left of the childhood she never really got, and alongside it, the parent she had always thought she would never have :(

I CAN BARELT TALK ABOUT JESSE WITHOUT AOBBING AND SCREAMING AND CRYING. god. why did they do that to him.

she DID feel like she should go 😭 i think it would’ve been maria’s reassurance and support that would’ve been the only reason she didn’t go when ellie did. BJT JESSE???? he would’ve told her to stay. and she would’ve because she trusted him and she loved him and she KNEW he would come back. he wasn’t leaving her like everybody else because he would never. he had seen her through the good, the bad and the REALLY bad and he had never once even considered stepping out the door. he’s the man. he’s the myth. he’s the legend. she never gets to keep good things.

and then he doesn’t come back? ellie and dina come back to jackson, dragging a half-dead tommy behind them, and they didn’t even bring back jesse’s body. (in my mind anwyay. they were already injured as it was and just trying to keep tommy alive.) i don’t think she would know what to do with that. i don’t think she would know how to live with that. how do you carry on as if everything is fine when it’s so clearly not? jesse was the one person she knew would always come back to her, and in her mind, because of ellie and dina, he hadn’t.

so yeah. the only good relationship she would have left following joel’s death would be with maria. maria who becomes her rock. maria who leans on her and allows herself to be leaned on in return. maria who is the love of my life.

i just cant get over it. i just cant. like imagine. the devastation of jesse’s death would be unmatched. it truly would. how does one person handle so much loss? and the guilt? what does she do with that?

just thinking about maria holding r’s shoulder as she hands her the chalkboard and lets her write jesse’s name. maria hugging r when she cries over not even know when he died. maria figuring it out from the botched recounts that ellie and dina give. maria writing it on the board and holding r’s hand as she shows her.

[awaitingfall]

07.14.24

Wasn’t planning on posting today, but I’m starting to feel a little anxious so maybe writing it out will help.

I feel like something’s been going on with my heart. It beats so fast and so hard at random times throughout the day. Well it might not be random because I feel like it happens after I eat certain foods like carbs, and then maybe after a long day of not being too active it starts to beat like that in the evening. Or also when I’m having bad stomach cramping, which happened this morning again. But also just walking up a flight of stairs. I live on the 3rd floor of my apartment building and I walk up and down them everyday, you’d think my body would get used to it by now? But I literally have to stop before the last flight and just chill for a few seconds before I finish. And it’s not like I’m incredibly out of shape or anything.

I’ve only noticed it get this bad in the past few months, but I’ve definitely had a faster heart rate almost all my adult life. I don’t really remember the POUNDING heart ever being an issue other than after I’ve done something super active. Part of me feels like it could be from my neighbor’s cigarette smoke getting into our apartment and breathing that in whenever we’re home. Most times when we come home it REAKS of cigarettes. All I want is to have my own space away from other people’s bullshit but I don’t have enough money for a down payment on a house 😭 Anyways, I really don’t know what else it could be from. Maybe my meds are starting to affect me, but I’ve been on the same ones for years now, nothing’s changed. Although, now that I think of it, I used to take my anxiety meds at night before bed until I realized that I would get a pounding heart when I was just laying in bed trying to fall asleep. So I looked it up and that is one of the side effects of the med…shit, maybe that has a lot to do with it since switching to taking it in the morning. Damn I would’ve never thought about that if I didn’t right all this out, SEE writing out my problems DOES help sometimes! 🥲 Regardless, I could probably work on my cardio to help strengthen my heart, but I feel like that’s not fully addressing the issue. I see my doctor at the end of the month and I’m going to ask her to refer me to a cardiologist so they can run tests. I’m only worried because my grandfather died from heart related issues, although he didn’t have those problems until he was older. I just want to be careful and take care of myself as best as possible, especially while I’m still young.

I’m sure my anxiety doesn’t help with the rapid heart rate. I’m sure it just makes it worse once I start worrying about it.

I really want to be off of all of my meds. I feel like starting birth control is the reason I began having thyroid issues and made my anxiety worse. But I’ve been on birth control for 10 years now and I’m scared of how my body is going to react to stopping it 😰 If anyone has had any experience with stopping birth control can you comment or send me a message about how that went (would be even better if it was the Kariva brand). I feel like I hear so much negative stuff and I’m worried if I stop it it’s going to uproot my entire life. I did have fairly painful periods before BC and my job is very active, I feel like I’d have to ask off at least 3 days/month just to rest, but I’m also the fucking anchor holding everything down at my job and the only one who can work the press so no actual orders would get done for 3 days and my boss would not be about that 😭

Idk, just a lot to overthink about. But hopefully since I wrote it out here it won’t keep me up all night and I can have a peaceful sleep 😌

I’m just going to start fresh tomorrow. Wake up at 5am, start with a guided meditation sitting up in bed, drink some water and take my meds, then go upstairs and get a nice well-rounded workout in. My breakfast will be scrambled eggs with kimchi, spinach and feta cheese on some sourdough toast. Then I’ll prep my lunch and dinner which will both be plain Greek yogurt with some of that farm-fresh honey I just picked up today and a goji berry trail mix on top. And then I’ll spend the evening reading.

I just can’t let my boss stress me out tomorrow. The fact that he’s back in the shop for 2 months just makes me want to quit, but I know I’m stronger than that and can’t let a random human being affect my mental health like that. I shouldn’t let anything affect my mental health, unless it’s in a positive way 😤

[rat-shark]

my analysis and theories about the scenes following Aziraphale leaving the bookshop to talk with Metatron

so like tbh when I first watched s2 I thought Crowley's gayass "run away with me" proposal came out of nowhere but now I see that I'm dumb bc like. For YEARS he'd thought that his plan to go off with Aziraphale would never work, but now he saw that actually, it WAS possible and they absolutely COULD do it if they wanted to. So he started cleaning and preparing himself mentally to pop the "run off together" question to Azira. Now, I don't think at that moment he was thinking about confessing his feelings JUST YET but Maggie and Nina came over and essentially convinced him to do it.

Now something I found weird about Azira is that when he's talking to Metatron, he says he doesn't want to leave earth and go to heaven, then when he's talking to crowley he seems not attached to earth at all, THEN when he's about to enter the lift he goes back to caring about the bookshop again, and I think thats bc when he was talking to Crowley, he was trying to convince himself to go to heaven just as much as he was trying to convince Crowley. Like, he said yes to Metatron while not being certain, then he hoped that talking to Crowley would help him be sure in his decision, but it only made him doubt it more. The kiss made it EVEN worse, because up until then he was only losing all that he had, but now that he knew Crowley's TRUE feelings, he was also losing what he COULD'VE had. This is also why I believe that even after he followed Metatron out, when he saw Crowley by the bentley, he was almost ready to run to him BUT. Then Metatron mentioned the second coming and to me it feels like it was the final nail. Bc like there's no way in hell (or heaven lol) that Aziraphale would leave something that big to the other archangels, given how they did NOT give a single fuck about earth or humanity. Like he couldn't just leave it and hope for the best. So, despite not being entirely sure, he followed Metatron to the elevator. Inside, he went from smiling to frowning because EVEN THEN he didn't know if he'd made the right decision.

At least that's how I see it lol 🤪

EDIT: oop also I do believe that Aziraphale ABSOLUTELY thought the core of Crowley's problems was not being an angel anymore. Like, Crowley was so happy pre fall, and while we the fans understand that it's more complicated than just not being an angel anymore, Aziraphale doesn't seem to. so. he just wanted Crowley to be happy again 🥲

[rafesdrew]

YES and ppl are like it’s only 3 years okay and????? it’s like a sophomore in high school and a sophomore in college dating. that can’t seem okay to them💀💀

and i swear if i hear “they definitely had something her kook year” im gonna go crazy. like babes she was 14 and he was 17 damm near 18

like i love rafe and i love kie. do i want them together? FUCK NO. why would anyone with common sense want her with someone who physically and mentally abused her? like??!!! and riara shippers are saying netflix “confirmed riara” because they posted a pic of them from LAST YEAR i swear they’re the most delusional people on earth omg😭😭

and yeah they did a poor job introducing sofia but with the articles i’ve read and bts i’ve seen i have hope they’re gonna work out🤭

and the jiara kiss, honestly i was just happy they finally kissed😭

sorry for the spam i just love seeing ppl with common sense and i start rambling lol💓

ANGEL YOU’RE OKAY SPAM AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!!😭😭🩷🩷 sorry i haven’t been able to answer faster i have a sickness bug from work rn🥲🥲

BUT the jiara kiss is so real like i love them and only while i rewatch do i cringe but my first watch i was shaking i was so happy😭😭😭

but omg the netflix comments drove me insane i blocked them. like “give us riara” what i’m seeing is give us a illegal relationship where the girl will and has got hurt😍 how are these people supporting this it’s actually CRAZY !!

i wish we get more of sofia, i hate the fact she’s just been introduced as his gf, i need my girl to shine without rafes shadow!! because i literally ADORE fiona she is the sweetest🩷😭

i love the idea me and the rest of us have created of rafe, in the show i just find him hilarious he’s so funny, but also he is THE plot. without him the show would be fucked, POINT BLANK. and kie ugh i wish i loved her but she just annoys me sometimes and i wish she didn’t because she’s so cunt i wish i could love her more🥲🥲🥲 #feelings

and don’t get me started with “kook year” SHUT UP PLEASE SHUT UP SHUT UP. their age gap WOULD BE EVEN WORSE. i can’t like please. everytime i see anyone shipping riara i feel like im being harassed LMFAOOO i cannot.

“riara are enemies to lovers” hey so this is actually insane! seek help thank you!

i was so glad kie pushed him off, DESERVED.

and i also think kie is too cunty and bratty (charli xcx ily) to be with rafe!!!!!

[bubblymochicat]

Hello there

Im droppin in you ask box to ask questions about Hanahaki wukong au and some ideas that i had

So does it afect his powers and mayby his behavior or do they stay the same? Or like each time they incounter macaque does it start hurting more or less? Also how do others react to wukong having hanahaki? Will they know why?

And the idea so i myself have this hc that the reason swk left macaque was some what of similar to why he left after mei got the fire and left like maybe at one of the fights the two were at macaque ends up geting badly hurt and wukong realises that macaque could have died just bc he wamted to protect him and then tells macaque that its better if they split up so that mac wouldn't get hurt . But macaque didn't see it as an act of consern and thout wukong thinks that he is weak and then they start fighting at some point the fight becomes physical and then swk almost kills him but then realises what hes doing and steps back and just leaves leaveing macaque to think that wukong lookes down on him and stuff. If you want you can use it

I just for some reason live the idea and want to see how you go with it.

Okay, to start off, thank you so much for reaching out with this ask!!! I am so excited to have people ask me stuff :D!!!

Now, back to business. When I was thinking about this concept I didn't really think much about Wukong himself would change on the surface. Kind of the only difference attitude wise that I was thinking would him being a little more subdued and a little quieter.

Not alarmingly so, just a smidgen. His power would basically be unaffected by it unless he's around Mac, because then it gets harder to suppress the coughing and plants taking root in his lungs.

Basically, if he's around Mac for long periods of time, or kind of lingering on his feelings for him, then his magic has to work harder to try and suppress the hanahaki, making him get drained easier. Again, no drastic differences, but subtle stuff.

You know I gotta keep it subtle to build up to that big dramatic reveal 😂.

As for others, I gotta do a little deep dive into my brain to explain the vibe for this. For this au, I feel like Wukong wouldn't immediately realize that he has hanahaki. Like he legit went like 200 years or something occasionally hacking up flower petals whenever he though of Mac and just kind of went with it/ignored it.

Aaayyyyy, procrastination king

He probably didn't even notice it for a while since his magic was subconsciously full body tackling it. I lowkey feel like he wouldn't really realize what's wrong with him until MK first meets Mac. He sensed his essence or whatever the fuck they do and the hanahaki flared up for the first time in like a century.

After MK left he probably collapsed in a heap as coughs ripped through his throat dragging a fist full of bloody flower petals up his throat. Leaving him confused, scared, and a smidgen concerned.

At that moment he realizes what he has and immediately starts doing everything he can to hide it from everyone. So others probably wouldn't even know. At least not until SWK gets body snatched by LBD. She would probably use it to try and gain leverage in a fight.

Most of the gang would be confused as to what hanahaki is, except Mac and Tang. They know and are very concerned. Mac is very confused because, wtf do you mean SWK has a deadly disease for unrequited love??? How?? When did he fall in lo- IT'S FOR ME?????

Like I said. Dramatic reveals. Ooooooh, but what if no one but Mac knew what it waaassss. If that were the case, then the team would be confused and concerned but probably forget about it during the fight.

I'll have to think more about the reveal and reactions.

Your headcanon is beautiful 😍 That is a very Wukong thing to do. He would spend so long feeling so bad and making it worse by pushing Mac away 🥲 I'm pretty sure that's what actually happened between them. Just some big dumb misunderstanding because they are bad at feelings.

Sorry for the really long response, I get very excited when people ask me stuff

[bangtanmix73]

The Lost Boys x reckless!reader

A/n: I did this instead of homework so yeah and also, half way through, I forgot what reckless meant (it’s 5am, leave me be) and then this happened so I hope you enjoy💕

Warnings: cursing, drugs, violence, slightly suggestive themes (but it’s barely noticeable), I have no idea how to write the boys so this is the best I can do🥲

David:

He worries about you, sometimes, but doesn’t show it. The only time he doesn’t worry about you is when you’re sleeping. Although, he (and the rest of the boys) slightly panic when you’re quiet. He only showed you that he was worried once....

“Y/n, where were you for 11 hours?”

“I was asleep....”

“For 11 hours?”

“I may or may not have ate a whole bottle of melatonin gummies because I wanted candy...”

“Y/n, no-“

After that, he hid the melatonin. If you need them, him or Dwayne will give you the right amount.

He tried controlling you at the boardwalk once. Yeah no never again. After that, he would send you off with Paul and Marko while him and Dwayne stress over if you, Marko, and Paul are coming back alive or not.

Dwayne:

He’s a very stressed mama ?or daddy-) bear. Oh boy and when he heard about the melatonin stunt, this man almost cried because he was so stressed.

Always trying to get you to stop doing something, which would work until Paul or Marko or sometimes both would join. Although, if it’s safe enough to not get a human killed *cough* you *cough*, he’ll join. Dwayne would try to stop something from happening and then give up.

He practically knows when you’re doing something you aren’t supposed to.

“Y/n, what are you doing?”

“Me? Why would I be doing something?”

“Maybe because you’re mixing orange juice and paint u- NO DON’T DRINK IT”

“I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF IT TASTES GOOD”

Automatically panics when you, Paul, and Marko are missing. Literally plays out every worst scenario until he finds all three of you. If you’re at the boardwalk, he’s scared because 1. you three are alone 2. There are hella people there and who knows what you’re up to.

He’ll wait until you three come back (hopefully) in one piece, most likely with scrapes and bruises, but hey! you three are alive!

When you became a vampire, he (and David) didn’t worry about you as much and probably will join in some things, but you started doing worse shit...lmao.

Paul:

One out of the two who instigate it. He thinks it’s funny watching you do something you aren’t supposed to do and Dwayne chasing after you. So much that he’ll join the fun!

There are times he’s actually becomes worried about you. Exhibit A: how you turned :).

“Hey, babe, are you ok? You’ve been up before we have gotten up lately.”

“....I haven’t slept for a week and I’m surviving on coffee and the wine in that pretty ass bottle over there.”

“I’m sorry. The wine in the bot- DAVID.”

And that’s the story on how you turned :). Anyway, you two (or three) started jumping off the bridge together just because you were bored lmao.

One time, you ate someone who had hella money and you both somehow got into a casino and spent it all (and also winning money.

You two also played a game where you kiss random strangers on the boardwalk. Most of the reactions were funny and some got you into fights.

You’ve probably shove a firecracker up Paul’s ass, once...or twice, just to see what would happen.

Marko:

Marko is a mix. He’s either worried and concerned or he’s joining and fucking around with you (in more ways than one). My guy is a whole ass wild card, but at this point, we all knew that. Just be careful, who knows what will set him off.

Will probably add on to things to make it worse then it already is. Innocent prank on teenagers camping in the woods by the cliff? No we going all or nothing.

“Ok, Marko, hear me out. We teach your pigeons to steal food for us?”

“.....can we teach them to attack people too?”

Ideas to terrorize people of Santa Carla coming left and right. No one is safe.

Anyway, back to being reckless. When you turn, you two (and probably Paul) jump off the cliff at least once a night.

He won’t admit it, but he got worried when you went flying off across the ocean to see if there was a island nearby or find something cool. He was relieved that you were back before sunrise.

You two probably picked fights with random people just because you were bored. Or you would play a horrible (but fun) game where you’d go up to a random couple and make the girl/guy/they think their s/o was cheating on them (totally have never played this game heheh)

Overall, most of the time being reckless bitches is fun

[always-andromeda]

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSRrHpXdC/?k=1https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSRr9J9H3/?k=1

(Hella trigger warning for SA) Straight outta the gate this time, Miss Coffee Bean, but unfortunately I am not feeling well today. A much, much older man(a customer) came BEHIND THE REGISTER and groped me today at work and I froze before finishing up the rest of my line and frantically tried to ask my manager to go to the bathroom(she let me go, thank god) and then proceeded to have a complete breakdown in the bathroom. I could barely breath and my body forced myself to shut down and I went nonverbal for the better part of 2 hours. I had been having such a good day up until that point. And once I got to my break time I bought some food (I was at the grocery store this time) and I couldn't even eat it because I felt lime vomiting. It's not fair. How could someone be that fucking disgusting. I was able to tell my manager once I was okay, but the guy had already left and I just felt a part of myself die.

I've been put through way worse than that but I just completely shut down and froze. I almost broke down immediately into tears.

Sorry for ranting, but I just don't understand how people can be so disgusting and perverse.

Sorry for the bad vibes, Miss Coffee Bean, you're amazing and I love you 💖 I see you like an awesome older cousin and I hope you're doing amazing today💖💖💖

Love, Brewster

-🍼

**General TW for SA on this one, y’all**

Oh, Brewster. I am so fucking sorry. That is absolutely fucking horrific. And I am appalled that an adult human man did that. I am appalled that humans can do this sort of shit to each other. Like it’s genuinely so unfair that some folks (including myself 🥲) have such severe anxiety that they literally guilt themselves for existing and second guess every action and worry so much about how they’re perceived when there are whole ass people who can literally assault someone with seemingly no internal qualms.

And like I completely understand the shock. A few years ago, I wore a low cut top out while grocery shopping. I was FEELING MYSELF in it. Until this weird all old man held onto my hips to slide past me in the aisle (there was plenty of room, he very much didn’t need to touch me) and said, “excuse me, sweetheart.” And then moved right along. And I was fucking horrified. Like just automatically reminded that oh, yeah, haha! Some people see me as an object instead of a person, NICE. 🥲👍🏻

Like the shock that ran through me was insane. Like, yeah, I’d experienced worse but it was the suddenness and the fact that I was really feeling okay with my body for once that got me in the worst mood ever. For hours I literally felt like a deflated balloon and I wanted to go fucking ballistic.

And like I hate to sound rude (because I’m usually a ray of fucking sunshine on here!!) but people like those weird old ass dudes could not choke on their own vomit fast enough. Simply put, if you’re a human being who thinks this is okay to do to other people, life is a privilege you simply don’t deserve. 🖕🏻🙃🖕🏻 Fuck right off!!

Anyways, on a more positive note, regardless of what happened today, I hope that it feels better to vent about it and I hope that you’re being gentle with yourself after that. It’s a jarring and violating experience that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I am so flattered that you see me as a cool older cousin?? Mostly because I actually kind of am the cool older cousin to my little cousins irl. So that’s pretty sweet.

Sending all my love your way, as always.

Love, Miss Coffee Bean ☕️✨