#(i also love being in the city. being surrounded by tall buildings make me feel so small (affectionate) )

[wheeboo]

holidaze | boo seungkwan

SYNOPSIS. in which you take your boyfriend on a holidate down the city. PAIRING. boo seungkwan x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship WARNINGS. kissing!! n just me being very whipped for him tbh :') WORD COUNT. 1.1k

notes: these r actually pics on our date guys. i took these pics of him <3 he did this for me. anyways i def didn't write this at 4am. happy holidays everyone! why r these actually the most boyfie pics ever i'm crying sobbing dying

There's nothing more better than venturing down the city at night with the spirit of the holidays filling the air. Festive lights are hung on streetlights which cast enchanting glows on the sidewalks and reflect off the wet and icy roads. Christmas trees are scattered throughout the city, standing tall and decorated with a dazzling array of ornaments, tinsel, and twinkling lights.

There's also nothing better than spoiling your boyfriend to a little date. Seungkwan had insisted that there wasn't any need for you to pay for everything, but tonight, you were all too determined to show just how much you appreciate him, even if it means arguing who would pay for the bill at the restaurant you chose or who would buy the matching stuffed animals you spotted in a store and couldn't resist buying.

Seungkwan has done nothing but warm your heart than any gift ever could. He's already a gift to your life, and tonight is your way of reciprocating just that𑁋to make sure he feels just as cherished as he's made you feel every day, simply because he deserves it, even if he doesn't think so himself.

"Do you think they'd like it? I'm scared I got the bad scents." Seungkwan fiddles with the paper bag of scented candles in his hand, his opposite arm linked around yours as you both continue your stroll down the glittering streets.

"My parents will love it. You don't have to worry about a thing," You reassure him with a gentle smile, giving his upper arm a small squeeze. "And even if they don't, it's the thought that counts, right?"

Seungkwan grins back, the worry lines on his forehead smoothing out. The city lights seem to reflect in his eyes like twinkling stars. "You're right. I just want them to like me, you know?"

"They already love you, trust me," You assure confidently. "Just be yourself, and they'll see how amazing you are."

Seungkwan could only shyly cower his head down to your words, the cold air nipping at his cheek that he attempts to hide away. You already know he has every right to be nervous meeting your parents for the first time tomorrow, but you also know that he'll win them over with his genuine and bubbly charm, just as he won you over from the very beginning.

The two of you trail up to a set of rails overlooking the sidewalk below and the looming buildings surrounding the area. There's some distant holiday music that you could hear from the nearby stores. Seungkwan leans against the rail, releasing a breath that creates a small mist in the chilly air, a thoughtful expression travelling across his face.

Smiling to yourself, you take out your phone and snap a few candid photos of him against the backdrop of the city lights.

"Look back at me," You call, and Seungkwan turns to face you, a small smile to his face that you manage to capture before he playfully swats at your phone. "Hey, hey, wait𑁋just a few more... Okay, I'm done. See?"

He pouts when you swipe through the photos, showing him the blurry ones and the ones where he's mid-swat like a cat batting at a toy. "Oh my God, you make me look so goofy."

"But look at these ones." You show him the two where you perfectly captured him looking back at you and smiling naturally. "You gotta post these! You look so pretty."

Seungkwan just rolls his eyes and turns away to admire the lights of the city once more, biting back the shy grin to his face. As you tuck your phone away, you walk up to him, sliding an arm around his waist and leaning against the rail beside him.

And when you both turn your bodies to face each other, your eyes gazing into his, a smile crosses your face, and you can't help but to let a hand pinch his cheek, perhaps a bit more harder than intended. "You're so cute!”

"Ow," Seungkwan winces dramatically, his hand coming up to cup over yours on his face, but he doesn't take your hand away𑁋he doesn't want to𑁋and instead leans more into your touch.

You furrow a brow, noticing how cold his face feels against your hand, trailing a thumb lightly over his cheekbone. "You're freezing, Kwannie."

The warmth of your thumb seeping through the chill of Seungkwan's skin sends a shiver down his spine that had nothing to do with the winter breeze.

"Just a little," he mutters quietly. “But you feel warm."

His dark eyes are like pools of melted chocolate under the city glow. The playful banter has faded, replaced by a quiet intimacy that settled comfortably around you both. You knew you should pull away and head back to the warmth of your apartment, but something keeps you frozen to this moment𑁋to the way his gaze seems to pierce right through you and make you feel so seen.

Then a sudden urge, soft and insistent, sprouts within you.

Your smile blooms into a full, somewhat mischievous grin as you take your hand away from his face. Leaning in, you press a gentle kiss to his cheek, right on the spot your touch had warmed up moments ago. It was a soft, fleeting peck, barely more than a whisper of your lips against his skin, but it sends a jolt of electricity through you both.

Seungkwan can practically still feel the kiss lingering when you pull away, a blush creeping up his neck and painting his skin and ears with a rosy hue. The flustered look to his face was enough to send your heart into a giddy leap, and as you cup his face again, you feel it's grown significantly warmer under your touch.

"All better now," You whisper teasingly as you continue to hold Seungkwan's face gently between your hands. "Are you blushing?"

Seungkwan lets out a scoff, lightly shoving your hand away from his face. "No."

"You are."

"I'm not!"

"You are!”

"H-How can I not when you kiss me like that?"

His words make a chuckle leave your mouth, and you stretch your arms to wrap around his neck, closing the distance between your bodies. His own hands come to instinctively rest at your waist, breath hitching from the way your closeness sends another wave of warmth through him.

But before he can say anything, you lean in and press a quick kiss to his lips, catching him off-guard once more. When you pull back, there's a playful glint in your eyes, and Seungkwan is left speechless and dazed, his cheeks now an even deeper shade of red. His gaze flickers between your eyes and your lips, and he lets out a choked laugh, a mix of embarrassment and amusement.

"You're... you're really something else, you know that?" Seungkwan stammers, his fingers playing with the hem of your coat as he avoids your eyes bashfully.

You tilt your head slightly. "In a good way hopefully?"

He leans in and presses a kiss to the tip of your cold nose, his lips lingering for a moment. When he draws back, a few snowflakes land in his hair. "In the best way possible."

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[tom-holland-stuff]

Displeasing Encounters & Passionate Debates // Chapter 3

My Masterlist

// Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 - mood-board // Chapter 3 //

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Fem!reader

Summery: After returning form district 12 Coriolanus snow has had everything handed to him on a silver platter. Wealth, status, power, he's got it all. What happens when he discovers that Dr Gaul, his mentor, has taken on a new assistant.

Warning: NSFW / SMUT SMUT SMUT / Swearing / Chocking (let me know if i have forgotten anything)

A/N: Hey Hey everyone, me again. So sorry it's been a minute! here is chapter 3 and as promised things get REAL heated (be warned). im so excited for you all the read this. it originally was going to be alot longer of a chapter but i decided that is probs way to much to hit you with in one sitting, so instead i have broken it into 2 parts (the next one being chapter 4) which means it's basically ready to go. Enjoy my loves.

Word Count: 4.09K

The gala was an event Coriolanus Snow would rather have avoided. 

Unfortunately duty calls in the most unpleasant ways - or at least he thought so. His presence was deemed necessary as per request, or more so demanded, by the ever-manipulative Dr. Gaul.

Don’t be mistaken, there are most definitely aspects of these festivities that Coryo enjoys. The potential for connecting and becoming well acquainted with the elites of the capital, the music isn’t too unbearable, and the endless amount of free posca is always a plus.

Coryo stands in the corner of the lavish party surrounded by some of his peers. He is barely paying attention as Clemensia and Festus argue over some social scandal. Instead he absentmindedly sips form his bubbling drink, letting his gaze trail off.

The opulent hall is one of the few buildings in the city that survived the war. The walls show its age, the once white walls now an ivory. The ceiling, he swore was as high as his own apartment is tall, held up by marvelous pillars carved from marble, the points in which they meet the floor and roof adorned in flecks of gold. 

Coriolanous marvels at the extravagant interior of the building, trying to distract himself from the feeling of dread that sits low in his stomach. The impending knowledge that he will have to spend the night in her company overpowers anything enjoyable about this occasion. 

The thought of having to be in her irritating presence and listen to her vexatious voice, which will undoubtedly taunt and argue with him, puts an extreme damper on his mood.

Tangled in his thoughts of loathing, he shifts his focus to the entrance of the hall. A grand staircase, made from a similar stone to the pillars, cascades down leading to the middle of the floor. He watches as guests continue to slowly pour in through the doors and down the opulent stairway, spilling out into the room to join their associates and friends. 

One person in particular catches his attention as they stand at the top of the staircase - y/n.

He almost chokes on his posca.

Coriolanous can’t help but be taken aback by her appearance. He notices her radiant smile, the way her red satin dress hugs her figure in the most delicious way, bringing his attention to things he has never thought to notice before. The front of her gown droops and pools elegantly at her bust, exposing the natural curves of her body. It hugs her waist and hips snugly, to then flow from the knee down, the silky fabric spilling on the floor around her. As she makes her way down the stairs he takes note of the subtle elegance in her movements, her grace captivating and mesmerizing.

He might have thought to describe her as a vision of beauty, but he is immediately reminded why he would never actually conjure such thoughts when her gaze meets his, her once illuminating smile transforms into a hard scowl.

He whips his head back in the direction of his friends and kicks himself mentally, embarrassed that he was not only caught blatantly staring, but also that he allowed himself to think such ludicrous things about such a vile creature.

Coriolanous tries desperately to pay attention to the conversation between his friends in an attempt to distract himself. However, his efforts are in vain as he feels a presence approach him from behind, and to his immense displeasure it’s her. 

He slowly turns his head again to acknowledge her approach, mimicking the feral scowl she odderend moments before. 

His stomach flutters in what he assumes is a physical reaction to his dislike for the girl, but he can’t help but admire the way she carries herself with such determination.

‘What is wrong with you?’ he thinks to himself.

“Ah, If it isn’t Coriolanous snow, what a pleasure” she says in the most taunting way, each word laced with sarcasm. 

Her expression couldn’t have been any more insincere.

“Mmm, the pleasure is mine” he retorts, pulling his mouth in a tight line as he copies her tone of insincerity.

“You haven't come with any more of those hideous reptiles have you?” he teases, taking a slow sip form his glass

“I didn’t need to, there are already one too many snakes at this party” she scoffs in amusement.

Coriolnaous hardens his glare in her direction, offended by her comment. In the back of his mind he can’t help but find her jabs and retorts amusing.

Despite his inner turmoil, Coriolanus maintained his facade of disdain, refusing to let y/n see the effect she is having on him. He squares his shoulders and plastered on his most arrogant expression, determined to keep his emotions in check.

Dr. Gaul however, had other plans.

Before either of them have the opportunity to grace eachother with more vulgar statements, their mentor appears beside them, as if she materialized from thin air. 

Dr. Gaul is many things, but she is not a fool, and only a fool would be blind enough to not notice the tension brewing between her two star pupils. 

“Well… my, my, you both scrub up nice” the professor taunts. 

Y/n and Coriolanous both offer her a smile in return for the unusual flattery.

“Now, i think it the most appropriate moment for me to take the time to display my studious protojays to our guests” she continues as she grabs both of their arms, leading them towards a large group of men which Coriolanous recognises to be politicions apart of president Ravinstills party.

After spending what felt like a great deal of time mingling with numerous elites of the capital, Dr. Gaul decides it to be a perfect opportunity to intervene in the interesting relationship blossoming between her students… and have some fun while she’s at it.

“Now my most special pets…” she begins, her smile turning wicked.

Coryo internally cringes at the nickname, uncertain of where this is going.

“...I think that now would be the most splendid time for you both to do me the honor of taking the floor for a dance.”

Silence follows her request.

Corionlanous and y/n both stare at her, eyes wide, trying to process what their teacher just said.

Surely this has to be a joke - he thinks. 

He quickly looks to the dance floor filled with men and women pressed against each other, gliding in unison as the move to the music echoing from the orchestral band.

He snaps his head back to Gaul, mouth opened ready to protest the horrid idea, but before he is able Dr. Gaul motions them away with her hand giving them both a pointed stare, emphasizing the fact that her demands are non negotiable. 

“I'll be watching from here” she says tauntingly. Coryo swears he hears her chuckle slightly.

Accepting his fate begrudgingly, he turns to y/n and offers his hand. She narrows her stare at him and his hand, scrunching her face in audacity. 

She rolls her eyes and huffs in annoyance, clearly realizing she has no way out of this and places her hand in his.

Her hand is soft and supple, much smaller than his own - he blinks hard trying to rid himself of these preposterous thoughts as he leads them to the center of the floor. 

They stand between the other pairs of men and women and turn to face one another, ensuring to keep some distance between themselves. 

With one of her palms still in his, y/n reaches slowly with her opposite hand, placing it softly on his strong shoulder. 

Coriolanus doesn't miss the look of distaste that flashes across her face before she glares at him. Taking that as a sign to reluctantly place his own free hand in the small of her back. 

Her clear effort to keep distance from him makes this position feel, and no doubt look, incredibly awkward. Annoyed and not wanting people to poke fun at them Coriolans pulls her closer to him, the force and speed of the action causing y/n to gasp in shock and stumble slightly against him. She snaps her head to face him, narrowing her eyes in anger as a melody begins to play.

If looks could kill… he is sure he would be dead

Despite their initial reluctance, they find themselves swaying to the music, their bodies moving in sync as they glide across the floor in a waltz of sorts.

Coriolanous looks away from her and into the direction of his mentor, who stands in the same spot with a few other guests, she seems to be smirking in their direction.

“Your not half bad” y/n states plainly, a hint of surprise behind her words. 

The comment brings his attention back to her and his confusion prompts her to continue.

“At this, I mean… dancing,” she affirms as they continue to move around the floor.

His mouth makes an O shape, understanding what she is regarding.

“My grandmam, used to make me practice with her- ” y/n stiffles as laugh at his confession.

“-but only to prepare for events like these” he tries to save himself from further embarrassment, far too aware of how that must sound.

“You're not as hopeless as I would have thought either” he smirks as he raises their clasped hands, spinning her around.

 She performs the step with ease, positioning herself back in front of him as his hand takes its previous position on her back

“I have been made to take lessons since i was young” she states matter of factly, mildly insulted by the remark.  

His smirk deepens in response.

“I'm not sure I can take your word for it” he challenges. Determined to taument her as she does to him.

“Well keep up then” she teases, matching his expression, accepting his challenge.

As the music's tempo quickens their dancing picks up pace. They move expertly across the floor, showcasing both their abilities. They match the moves and fluidity of the other couples, whilst also trying to one up each other, as it had become somewhat of a competition to them as things usually do.

There comes a point where Coriolanus has the urge to be bold, or maybe it's a surge of confidence. 

As if it was an involuntary reaction of his body’s natural doing, he sends y/n down into a dip. 

He has no time to regret his movement as It catches them both off guard as they still in the position.

Holding her tightly with his arm placed firmly around her waist, their faces mere inches apart. 

Time seemed to slow, the blood pounding in his ears. He can only focus on the way y/n’s chest heaves heavily in surprise so close to his own.

They lock eyes, and he swears the world has stopped. 

His crystal blue orbs bore into hers, he can’t think of anything else, drowning in her dazzling gaze. 

Coriolanus was acutely aware of y/n's rapid breaths, the heat radiating from her skin, and this odd feeling simmering between them.

And again, in a reaction not of his own conscious doing, their lips draw closer in an unspoken invitation. 

Y/n’s eyes flick down to his lips and then quickly back to his eyes. Her mouth parts open ever so slightly, letting out a short staggered breath.

It makes him forget where he is, who he is, who she is.

He is rudely brought back to reality. 

Before he acts on his impulses, they hastily pull away from each other. The spell broken as they retreated from the other's embrace, both flustered and embarrassed by the close encounter.

She stares at him, chest heaving. He can’t make out what emotions are swirling beneath her hard exterior. 

He clenches his fists at his side and takes in a deep breath, angered and embarrassed by his actions.

Y/n reciprocates his stance and then quickly turns on her heel, disappearing into the crowds of people.

Coriolance doesn't wait to see where she runs, he turns around in the opposite direction, marching god knows where.

Seeking solace from the chaos of the gala, Coriolanus, feeling overwhelmed, decides to take a walk to get some air.

 He walks through the halls of the building, his dress shoes click on the sleek marble floor, echoing in the extravagant passages.

He needed to clear his head. 

“What the fuck just happend” he whispers to himself, wiping his hand over his face.

He despises y/n- No, 

Loathes her.

So what in the name of Panem has come over him. 

Racking his brain to understand why he had felt that he wanted to- No…

Needed to close the gap between them back on the dance floor.

Lost in thought, he strode through the corridors with purpose, oblivious to his surroundings. 

In his haste, he collided with someone, almost knocking them over.

Y/n - It was y/n.

“Watch where you're going” he huffs at her, brushing off his tux as if she had dirtied him with her touch.

“That's rich coming from you” she retorts 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” he questions, his voice laced with disgust, desperately trying to remind himself how he feels for her.

Their initial shock now gave way to heated exchanges.

She straightens herself, crossing her arms in front of her. 

He curses himself for how his eyes steal a glance at the way her movement accentuates her chest.

“This seems to be a regular occurrence for you” she points, referring to the past two times this has happened.

She’s not wrong, but of course he would not let her know that.

“I think you mean ‘we’ as it involves the both of us” he asserts, taking a step closer to her. He towers over her, his height allowing him to claim some form of dominance.

The begin to sling vulgar words at one another, with each one it becomes more heated, getting in each other faces

“ Is your ego really that big that it blinds you?” she spits at him.

He stares down at her, letting out a large breath he didn't know he was holding.

Y/n’s scowl fiercens as she steps closer to him and continues.

 “Maybe if it wasn’t so large you would be able to see where you're going.”

Infuriated by her audacity Coriolanus snaps,

“Is there a singular bone in your pathetic body that carries any regard or decency” he demands, chest heaving in anger.

“Is there any in yours” she immediately hurls back at him.

He takes a determined step closer to her, making them as near as they were when they were dancing moments ago. Their faces so close their noses almost brush together. 

“You are absolutely insufferable” he sneers at her.

“The feelings mutual” she heaves.

He watches her lips as she speaks, the deep shade of red that adorns them catches him in a trance. He focuses on her sharp labored breaths, much similar to his own. The heat from their interaction radiates, tangling together in the very slim space between them.

Suddenly, there is a shift in their dynamic.

He barely has time to register his actions before it’s in the midst of happening.

In a moment of reckless abandon, Coriolanus closed the distance between them, capturing y/n's lips in a fierce, possessive kiss.

The tension between them having reached a boiling point, fueling the fire of their mutual disdain and clearly an undeniable undercurrent of attraction, a raw desire that neither could ignore.

Again like the dip, he can’t seem to comprehend the motive behind his actions. However, he doesn't have time to or allow himself to regret it as things begin to move quickly.

Any initial hesitation melted away as the kiss deepened.

Hands roamed freely and ravishingly, grasping at fabric and flesh with desperate urgency. Hair was tugged, nails dug into skin, and breaths mingled in heated gasps as they surrendered to the intoxicating pull of lust.

The heat between them was palpable, igniting a fire that threatened to consume them both.

His movements rough and demanding as he captured y/n's lips in a bruising kiss that left them both gasping for air.

There was no gentleness in their embrace, only raw, primal need as their mouths clashed in a battle for dominance.

Y/n responded with equal ferocity, her nails digging into Coriolanus's back as she pushed him against a wall. 

Taken aback by her fight for control, Coryo bites down on y/n’s lip and tugs, eliciting a moan from her plump lips.

God that might have been the most heavenly sound he has ever heard.

With a growl he grabs her firmly by her waist and flips them around, pinning her beneath him.

Tongues tangling in a desperate dance of need and desire. Coriolanus's hands roamed hungrily over y/n's body. Y/n responded with equal fervor, her grip tightens on him as she pulls him closer, her body arching against his in a silent plea for more.

With a shared urgency, they pushed through a nearby door, seeking refuge in the privacy of an empty room.

Eliciting a deep growl of need, Coriolanus lifted y/n into his arms, carrying her to the nearest surface—a table that stood invitingly in the center of the room. 

Without breaking their kiss, he hoists her up, placing her where he wanted.

Coriolanus trailed rough kisses along y/n's neck, his teeth grazing her skin as he left a trail of bruises in his wake. His hands were everywhere, gripping and pulling at her with a fierce possessiveness that spoke of his overwhelming desire for her.

With a groan of frustration, Coriolanus reached for the hem of y/n’s skirt, lifting it up, eager to feel her, to taste her, to claim her as his own.

Their tumultuous history forgotten in the heat of their newfound connection.

Coriolanus could not make this happen as fast as he wished-

as he needed.

He bunches y/n’s dress up around her waist. The silky red fabric pooling at her hips and on to the table. Y/n catches on quickly, replacing his hands with her own, allowing Coryo to be free to do as he desires.

In a flurry he taps her knee, silently asking her to let him in. She obliges, allowing him to stand between them. His hands rake up her thighs, he stills when he reaches between her legs, caressing the lace fabric that graces her most intimate parts. 

With trembling hands, y/n reached for the fastenings of Coriolanus's trousers, eager to feel him, to taste him, to lose herself in the depths of passion. 

She undoes his belt and fly, and manages to pull down his pants past his knees, but he stops her before she can grasp him through his boxers. His cock straining against the fabric. He holds her wrists tightly and presses them against the table.

Coriolanus trailed kisses along y/n's neck, nipping and sucking at the delicate skin as he makes his way down her body, worshiping every inch of exposed skin. His hands roamed freely, teasing and tantalizing as they explored the contours of her figure.  

He rubs her through her lacy underwear, feeling how slick she is through the delicate fabric. The friction eliciting soft moans and gasps of pleasure from y/n's lips.

He moves the delicate fabric to one side allowing himself full access. He slips one digit inside of her pussy, conjuring a high pitched gasp from y/n, which only spurred him on more.

He adds another finger, and curls them upwards, beginning to bump them in and out at a devilish pace. The sensation makes y/n break from their heated kiss and throw her head back in pleasure.

Coriolanous takes the opportunity to wrap his free hand firmly around her throat, pulling her closer. Y/n gasps, or tries to, as Coriolanus tightens his grip restricting her airway, which only turns her on more. Y/n’s mouth hangs open in pure bliss as Coryo picks up the pace with his fingers.

“You like that hmmm” he hums roughly in her ear.

She nods frantically, unable to offer him a verbal response. Her eyes screw shut as she feels a knot of pleasure form in her stomach.

But Corionlas is not having it. His grip tightens around her neck forcing y/n to open her eyes and look at him.

“Answer me” he demands, letting his grip loosen ever so slightly so y/n can form a response.

“Yes”  she respond breathless 

Coriolanus movements slow and y/n whines in protest 

“Yes, who?” he teases.

“Yes Coyro” y/n whines, her big doe eyes staring into his icy blue ones. 

In that moment, there were only the two of them, and Coriolanous was ready to take this one step further.

He retracts his fingers from y/n’s aching pussy and removes his grip from her neck. The new found emptiness causes her to whine softly, the sound drowned out by Coryo attacking her with his lips once more.

Coriolanus pulls his boxes and pants the rest of the way down, freeing his length from the confining fabric. 

Before y/n has a chance to whine, comment, or do anything of the matter, he pushes himself inside of her wet throbbing cunt. Y/n moans deeply as he stretches her, he growls possessively in response to how her tight walls squeeze him.

As Coriolanus thrusts into her passionately, the force of his desire driving him deeper with each powerful movement, y/n's breath caught in her throat. The intensity of his touch sent shockwaves of pleasure coursing through her body, igniting a primal fire that burned hotter with each relentless thrust.

Her nails dug into Coriolanus's back, leaving angry red marks in their wake as she clung to him desperately,  

Every movement sent waves of ecstasy crashing over her, eliciting delicious noises from the both of them.

Coriolanus's grip on her tightened, his fingers leaving bruises on her skin as he claimed her with a possessive fervor that left her trembling with need. His primal moans of pleasure echoed in her ears.

With each thrust, y/n's world narrowed to the exquisite sensation of Coriolanus filling her completely, his touch sending her spiraling towards the edge of oblivion as she feels that familiar knott begin to form again.

Her cries of pleasure only spurred him on further. The sound of skin hitting skin echoing in the empty room as she was consumed by the fiery inferno of their passion.

Y/n’s fingers tangle in his blonde locks and tug, causing him to break their heated kiss with a hiss. He instinctively wraps his hand around y/n’s throat once more and squeezes.

He watches her face as he continues to thrust in and out of her core, the tension in y/n's body reaching a fever pitch, her senses overwhelmed by the relentless onslaught of pleasure that coursed through her veins. 

And then, in a moment of sheer abandon, she felt it—a surge of liquid warmth that flooded from her depths, drenching Coriolanus in a torrent of her desire.

The feeling was unlike anything he had ever experienced, a release that seemed to leave her trembling with ecstasy as pleasure crashed over her in relentless waves. 

The sensation only brought him to his peak, thick ropes of white covering her thighs as he pulled out.

For a heartbeat, time seemed to stand still as they basked in the afterglow of their climaxes, their bodies entwined in a tangled mess of limbs and desire. And as they stand there, spent and sated.

And then suddenly the reality of the situation hits.

As the shock of their passionate encounter lingered in the air, Coriolanus and y/n hastily dressed themselves, their movements stiff and awkward as they avoided each other's gaze, not uttering a word. Despite the intense connection they had shared, they couldn't bring themselves to acknowledge what had transpired between them. Croiolanus’s mind reeling with disbelief at the unexpected turn of events.

Silent and tense, they endured the remainder of the gala, stealing glances at each other from across the room.

Their stares  filled with a mix of confusion and desire. And when at last the night came to an end, they parted ways without a word, the weight of their shared secret hanging heavy between them.

A/N: What did we think yall?? shit really hit the fan (in the best way possible), or at least i think so. This was also my first time writing smut so please be kind. what are your guy's thoughts? please let me know if you have any suggestions ideas or ask me a question x you can do that here.

Also i don't give permission for my work to be posted without credit or whatever.

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[underfaller]

Chapter 12: λ (pt. 1)

Pairing: dottore x angel!reader Summary: You are a Heavenly Messenger from Celestia that’s been captured by a mysterious Doctor CW: smut Word count: 5k A/N: My birthday is on Monday, but I celebrated today. I had a lot of fun. I'm very grateful for my loved ones.

“Leave it to Pierro to take advantage of my near death experience,” Dottore shakes his head incredulously. “How callous. Giving me an assignment after I explicitly expressed that I did not want to take it.” 

After the fiasco in Dragonspine, Dottore concluded that it would be best to leave for Liyue. It wouldn’t be logical for them to stay in Mondstadt after they’d assaulted such a high ranking member of the Knights of Favonius. Even if it was Albedo that started their altercation, those simpleton Knights would surely take the alchemist's side. It was simply too much of a headache for Dottore to deal with, especially since he now had to worry about finding more Abyssal samples when the only known portal to the Abyss refused to let them back in. 

….So he'd also sent a letter to Pierro sheepishly recounting the events and the status of their mission. At first, he’d thought against it, knowing that the Jester would give him an earful. However, it’s better to report such things before Pierro inevitably finds out. 

At least Dottore will not have to hear such scoldings in person. 

The Jester replied with surprising calmness-- Perhaps he’s used to Dottore’s uncanny ability to cause chaos wherever the scholar went. Dottore was relieved that he got off so easily-- until he read the last paragraph.

Since you are in Liyue already, I have a task for you…

The two of you walk through the bustling streets of Liyue. The tall houses and shops overshadow you with their jade-colored rooftops. A slight breeze spreads yellow leaves across the pavilion. Though it’s still quite early in the morning, both vendors and customers alike go to and fro, ready to start another day of commerce. The salty smell of the port is still poignant in the city streets. Lanterns and vibrantly colored umbrellas hang from the eaves of some buildings, swaying lazily with the seabreeze. 

Dottore clenches the thick letter in his hand. As you two cross a small, insecting bridge and enter the business district of the city, he becomes more agitated. 

Curse you, Pierro. I told you that I am not a diplomat.

“It’s absurd, really. How he thinks he can-” 

Dottore suddenly turns towards you. You’ve been strangely quiet all this time. He notices that you’re reading as you walk, grasping his coat tightly, using him as a guide in order not to bump into your surroundings. 

“Are you even listening to me? Or am I speaking to a brick wall?” Dottore snaps.

No answer. 

Dottore narrows his eyes before abruptly stopping in his tracks. 

“Oof!” 

You inevitably walk into his tall frame, stumbling a little. Dottore takes pleasure in the little noise of surprise you make. You straighten up, looking at him with slight confusion. He taps your nose, teasingly.  

“I do not like being ignored, dear.” 

You sigh before closing your book with a loud snap. You glare at Dottore, your feathers ruffled with irritation. 

“I am listening. However, you have complained multiple times about the same things. It will not change your predicament,” You explain before waving your hand in dismissal of his annoyance. “You should feel fortunate. At least your superior isn't too angry at the mayhem you've created in Mondstadt.” 

“He shouldn't be. It was hardly my fault,” Dottore protests, folding his arms indignantly.  

“Tch. Ok, Doctor.” 

Dottore cocks his head slightly as he watches you for just a moment. He wonders if you blamed him.

He wonders if you’ve lost any sliver of respect for him. 

Especially after he’d almost drowned. 

Dottore has been thinking of the experience quite a bit. He certainly isn’t one to be caught in such a predicament. He’s a Harbinger, after all. A scholar and probably the smartest man alive in Teyvat. He did not lose. Yet, there he’d been; soaking wet, lungs filled with icy water, in the arms of his teary eyed assistant who couldn’t stop crying as he awkwardly consoled her. Dottore bit his lip. He despises himself for allowing such an event to happen. He hates being blindsided. He hates showing weakness. He hates how this stood as a stark reminder that he is still, despite everything, human. 

And most importantly, Dottore hates that he showed all that in front of you. 

You, who’d saved his life, did you hate him for being so weak? 

He probably will never know the answer. You did not speak of what you did for him. You preferred such things to be kept in the past-- And he did too. 

“What does the Jester want you to do, anyways?” 

Your voice breaks Dottore from his thoughts. Dottore gestures towards the letter in his hand. 

“I am to speak to Liyue's financial director, Zhang Baihu. Liyue is the heart of Teyvat's commerce and the birthplace of Mora,” Dottore shrugs. “The Fatui want to tap into such resources with a business alliance between them and Snezhnaya.” 

You smirk. 

“Heh. Is the Tsaritsa cutting the Fatui’s allowance?” 

Dottore gives a wry chuckle. 

“More like the Tsaritsa has no Mora to give us,” Dottore scoffs. “Her war against Celestia has put a strain on an already struggling economy. So, naturally, she calls upon her favorite children to take care of her.” 

By the way, when did I become such an obedient dog obeying these menial orders?

How unbecoming. 

"You certainly do not seem pleased to speak to the financial director. Let me guess, another bridge previously burned?"

"I'm not meant for stuffy, bureaucratic matters like this,” Dottore rolls his eyes. “Talk is cheap. I can't respect someone who only gets what he wants with his sweet tongue. I'm more of a man of action."

"Yet, despite what you claim you always have a lot to say though, Doctor," You joke, a small smile crawling on your lips. 

You have been smiling much more, lately. 

"Do you dislike my voice that much?" Dottore raises an eyebrow. 

"I tolerate it,” You reply. You laugh before noticing his slight downward gaze. “Don’t act so sullen. Even with your mask on, I know you are sulking. I don’t complain too much, do I?” 

“I am not ‘sulking’. You give your words too much power.” 

You grin before pointing towards a large case of stone stairs that lead to the port. From here, you can see a group of men setting up a large stage. Vendors are setting up stalls with colorful, painted screens behind them. Banners and lanterns have started to dot the once empty pier. 

“What are they preparing for?” You ask curiously. 

“Lantern Rite Festival. Liyue’s largest cultural event,” Dottore explains. “They celebrate it for the first full moon of the year.”

That wondrous glint of curiosity and excitement flickers across your widened eyes.  

“Oh! Can we visit the festival?” You plead. "Please, Doctor?"

Dottore shakes his head.

"I apologize, my dear. We aren’t meant to stay here much longer. We’ll probably depart before such festivities begin.” 

“Oh.”

You avert your eyes, a small hint of sadness apparent on your face. Dottore can tell you are disappointed. He sighs before ruffling your hair as he always did. 

“...But if we are still here, then… perhaps," He says, shortly. “But do not hold me to those words.”

You look at Dottore, your smile returning. 

“Ok, doctor!” 

Why is it so difficult to not give in to you? 

As Dottore leads you up the lavish steps in front of a luxurious looking door, he turns toward you. 

“This will only take a moment. You do not have to speak. I’ll handle this.” 

You nod.

“Understood.” 

You both enter and are greeted by a large, open area with a large, Cuihua wood desk in the middle. There, a secretary sits, busily working. She wears a slim dress in light lilac with flowers embroidered on it. When she sees Dottore, she immediately stands up, brushing herself off and coming around the front of the desk.

“Oh, Lord Harbinger. Hello.” The secretary bows deeply. “The Financial Director is expecting you. Please follow me.” 

Dottore raises an eyebrow. He didn’t know that his arrival would be anticipated. He takes your hand as you both follow the secretary down a hall adorned with paintings and expensive trinkets. He can't help but feel slight disdain for the gaudy opulence of this building. It is as if its owner cared more about the price of things than their use. The secretary stops in front of a large door before knocking once. From behind it, Dottore notices a faint melody of someone playing the violin. 

“Enter.” 

The secretary hurriedly opens the door, politely gesturing him in. Dottore steps inside the Director’s office. It is as lavishly decorated as the exterior of the room. A large painting on the wall depicts a large, white tiger. Atop the long desk in the middle of the room is a small scale with multiple pieces of Mora on each plate along with a few, neatly piled scrolls. Behind that, is a large window overlooking a bright, Liyue landscape. 

A tall man stands in front of the window. He wears a long, black garment with red lining. His long, dark hair is pinned with various pure gold accessories. He doesn’t seem to notice his guests as he continues to masterfully play the violin in his hand, his back turned towards the window. 

The secretary bows once again.

“Sir. The Harbinger from Snezhnaya is here.” 

It’s then that the music stops. The Financial Director of Liyue turns towards Dottore then to his secretary. 

“Thank you. Now please leave us.” 

His glasses are attached to a thin, gold chain that dangles daintily at the sides of his sharp face. He looks at Dottore as he sets down the instrument delicately upon his desk, nodding towards it. 

"Tchaikovsky. His only concerto for the violin. Such a shame, don't you think?" 

"Truly, though I am surprised a man from Liyue would know a Snezhnayan composer."

The Director smiles. The gesture certainly does not meet his eyes. 

"I know lots about Snezhnaya. But we weren't here to compare our homeland's music. Come, sit. Let's talk business, shall we?" He outstretches a black, gloved hand. "I am Zhang Baihu, Liyue's Financial Director."

Dottore firmly shakes the Director's hand. 

"Il Dottore, second Fatui Harbinger. And this is Y/N, my assistant," He motions towards you before gazing once more at the Director. "I am quite curious. How did you know of our arrival?"

Baihu glances at Dottore, his eyes enigmatic. 

"There are ears on the other side of the wall," He answers slyly. 

How pretentious. 

I dislike him already.

Dottore sits in one of the leather chairs in front of the Director. You are beside him, though because of how long the table is, there is some distance between you two. That smug grin never leaves Baihu's face even as he sits in front of the Doctor, steepling his gloves fingers as he leans forward. 

"I'm almost impressed by your superior's proposition." Baihu muses. “Such boldness for one so desperate.”

Dottore clenches his fists tightly in his lap. He opens his mouth, however, before he can even speak, Baihu continues. 

"Liyue has kept its wealth contained to its own borders since Morax bestowed the power of Mora minting to us. Giving the Fatui their own financial branch in Liyue would be a bit blasphemous towards the god, no?" 

What do the gods care what we do with their creations?

Dottore laughs, crossing his legs as he rests his chin on his hand. 

"The gods may have created a universal currency, but it is us mortals who finalized its financial establishment on our own. Making decisions solely based on faith sounds counterintuitive."

Baihu hums in agreement.

"I suppose you are correct. Even still, opening such facets to the Fatui gives nothing of fair value to Liyue," Baihu plays with the scale on the wooden surface. One of the scales tilt drastically as his index finger lays on it. 

"And least of all…to me. If I were to approve this, I would most certainly fall from the public's eye."

"I didn’t think you’d cared so much of what the common man thought of you."

"Please. A man's reputation is everything in this field." 

Reputation? What a frivolous thing to care about.

Though… he wasn’t one to talk about caring about frivolous things now. 

Dottore leans back in his chair. 

"Well, Mr. Zhang, I can assure you that approving our proposal would be beneficial to your reputation--Especially with Liyue's recent changes in government."

"Ah yes. Your little puppet candidate that's now on the Qixing Committee. Of course you’d bring him up,” Baihu chuckles softly, pushing his glasses up his tall nose. “Tell me, how much did you bribe him with? Please don't tell me it's because of him that you're on your knees at my doorstep."

"Ah, bribery,” Dottore waves away such accusations. “The Fatui would never resort to such methods. Despite the rumors, our methods are clear cut...Just like a Qixing investigation upon the beloved financial director’s many distasteful dealings would be."

Dottore’s words drawl at that last sentence. Baihu's eyes flicker with annoyance, his glasses glinting dangerously. 

"If you are trying to threaten me, it will not work. Many before you have attempted such folly…" Baihu chuckles. "And it did not end well for them."

Dottore clicks his tongue. 

"Tut, tut. I'm merely stating facts. Unless you see the truth as a threat."

Baihu purses his lips, before sighing and standing up, sauntering around the corner of the desk. 

"The truth is what does in power deem fit. It's all subjective," He notes. "Though, I'd rather not face the ire of the Qixing Committee. Not yet." 

It's then that Baihu pauses, standing right next to you. A dark smile passes his lips. 

"Your assistant is very beautiful,” He gazes down at you. “Y/N, is it?" 

You nod. Baihu takes your hand, pressing it up to his lips as he lightly kisses it. 

"A pleasure to meet you, my dear." 

My dear?

Dottore stiffens seeing the financial director towering over you with hungry eyes. He has the sudden urge to push Baihu away from you or perhaps something much more drastic. Instead, Dottore stays in his seat, tightly gripping the armrest as he intently watches the director. 

Careful now. Don't lose your cool for someone as insignificant as this. 

Or something as insignificant as this.

Baihu's hand grazes the back of your wings as he takes in your figure. You look uncomfortable, shifting in your seat as this stranger dotes on you. 

"And look at your wings! I've never seen anything like them. Truly magnificent!" Baihu praises. “Tell me, Harbinger, where did you get such a fine individual?” 

Dottore clears his throat loudly. 

"Mr. Zhang. Perhaps we should get back to our discussion."

Baihu gazes at Dottore, a smirk curling on his mischievous face. 

"I can assure you this is part of our business, Harbinger."

"And how is fawning over my assistant "business"?" Dottore asks. His voice is low. Dangerously low. 

Baihu lets out an amused laugh. 

"Because I am a man of earthly pleasures. And as such, I'd be more inclined to accept the Fatui's proposal if you pleased me. Or in particular, your assistant did." 

Baihu caresses your face, using the top of his index finger to tilt your head up at him, still smirking at Dottore. 

Dottore is grateful for his mask because he is furious. The Doctor takes a deep breath-- he’s so close to turning this cocky banker into a puddle of visceral and blood. 

Someone of my caliber should be above emotions like jealousy, but…

"How unprofessional. Are all you businessmen so distasteful? My assistant is not a bartering chip,” Dottore chides through clenched teeth. 

"Oh? Why not?" Baihu responds smugly. "Can you not let your dear assistant go for just one night? Not even for what your superior wants?"

Baihu shakes his head in mock disappointment. 

“Come now, Harbinger. Be reasonable. It's simply a basic quid pro quo, hm?"

With that, Baihu grabs your chin, pressing his lips against your cheek. Your eyes widen with a mix of shock and disgust as you instantly try to push Baihu off. 

… But I’m going to make this man pay. 

Dottore jumps up, reacting before he even completely processed what just happened. Logic, calculation, and the state of this meeting are thrown out the window as he quickly pushes himself between you and Baihu, sharp teeth bared as he glares at the delighted director. 

He’s livid. 

"Don't. Touch. Her." 

"Oh! How adorable!" Baihu utters. He leans in Dottore's ear, whispering. "Why are you so upset? Do what you're told. Run to your Fatui master like an obedient little dog and let me have some fun."

He’s seeing red. 

Dottore instantly grabs the financial director by the collar of his silk garment, pushing Baihu roughly into the table with a loud crash. You jump to your feet. Dottore’s face is twisted in fury as he pins the man to the desk, ready to strike. Baihu laughs aloud. His glasses are lopsided as he stares gleefully at Dottore with lilac eyes. 

“Haha! Was that all it took to get you to lose your composure? How hilariously easy!"

He’s going to kill this man. 

"You insolent bastard," Dottore growls, his voice nearly trembling with rage. "Don’t play games with me, inconsequential worm--" 

Dottore feels a hard tug on the back of his coat. He turns to see you, your face impossible to read. 

"Stop, Doctor," You state, quietly. 

“But-” 

“He isn't worth it.”

You're right. 

He completely lost control. He hasn't felt this angry since the Akademiya. 

Dottore glares at Baihu one last time before reluctantly releasing him and stepping back. He turns to you. You give him a weak smile.

How many times would you witness his defeat? 

Dottore straightens his coat, shaking his head once more before turning back towards Baihu. 

“I apologize for my...outburst. Perhaps we can meet again under more calm conditions.”

“I don’t think we need to discuss things further, Harbinger,” He folds his arms. “You can leave my office now.” 

He’s triumphant. He knows he’s won. 

Without another word, Dottore grabs your hand, more or less dragging you out of Baihu’s office. He storms through the hallway, past the confused secretary and back into the bright, Liyue pavilion. It’s only then that he explodes once again, his rage spilling into his words. 

“Pathetic, stupid worm! Who does he think he is?” Dottore fumes. “Touching you. Disrespecting me. All the things he said…” 

Dottore shoves his hair back away from his mask. He grabs your face, his hands pressing against your cheeks. 

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you did he? If he did, I shall march back in there and kill him instantly.” 

You shake your head. You look unnerved. He lets you go. Your hand rubs the spot where Baihu kissed you. You look back at your hand with disgust. 

“I can still feel his lips. How revolting.” 

Dottore begins to see red again. His jealousy bubbling just above the surface as he thinks of Baihu touching you. His hand grips yours even tighter as you make your way back to the inn. For a second, Dottore considers keeping you in the lab from now on. A pretty little bird in a cage. Never seen by another man's eyes. No one would ever have the chance to do such things to you. 

How dare he. You’re mine. My assistant, not his. 

His possessiveness over you surprises even himself. 

He may have even been angrier about what happened to you than you were. 

Dottore is absolutely silent the rest of the walk, sulking and stewing in defeat. You don’t say a word, your head downcast as you trot beside him. It’s only once you arrive at the inn does Dottore start again. 

“I swear I will cut his kidney out and sell it back to him,” Dottore mutters as you both enter your quarters.

“What will you do? He’ll never approve of your proposal now,” You say, laying on your bed, your face turned towards the decorated ceiling. 

“Killing him is always an option,” Dottore grumbles, flopping beside you. 

“A dead man cannot accept a deal.” 

“I will think of something,” Dottore sighs. 

“I know you will.” 

Suddenly, Dottore rolls over. He hovers over you, his arms caging you within his frame. His hidden eyes search yours as you gaze back at him. 

“How dare he touch you. How dare he kiss you,” Dottore mutters. 

You narrow your eyes. 

“Have you always been this jealous? I've never seen you so emotional about, well, anything .” 

I am above human weakness and emotion. I create, I build...and then watch it all burn. 

And yet. 

“This isn't emotional,” Dottore utters. “This is simply making sure my things stay mine.”

With that, Dottore crashes his lips against yours. Your astonishment is muted by his tongue as he roughly pushes it between your parted lips. You don’t fight him. Instead, closing your eyes and leaning into his kiss. 

Good. 

He breaks away from you, letting you catch your breath for just a moment before straddling you as he tilts your head, kissing and suckling your jawline as he moves down to your neck. 

“You’re becoming distracted, Doctor,” You whisper. 

“Tch. Did you think I would simply leave you after what he did?” Dottore states, his words reverberating into the crook of your neck. “No… I’m going to reclaim what’s mine.” 

Before you can give a snarky response, Dottore sinks his sharp teeth into the soft skin. 

“Ah!” 

You cry out, whether in shock or pain or both-- it doesn’t matter.  You struggle meekly, your wings fluttering against the sheets. Dottore pins your wrists over your head with his free hand as he continues. The faint, metallic taste of blood soon trickles onto his taste buds as he breaks skin. 

Delicious. 

Was your blood always this sweet?

You whimper softly, tears involuntarily pricking your eyes from the pain. When he notices them, he instantly laps them up, savoring the saltiness. 

“Don’t cry, my little birdie,” Dottore simpers. “You know you enjoy this.” 

He’s correct. He swears he hears you softly moan more than once.

Dottore’s hand travels down towards your lower regions, up your long skirt. He presses a finger against your underwear. 

“You’re so wet already. Do you actually like the pain I inflict upon you?” 

“Mm..Ngnh…” 

He takes that as a yes. 

Dottore slips his hand into the fabric, playing with your clit, running his index against the slick of your opening. He presses his finger deep into your cunt, curling his finger as he does. He notices your back arch as he does so and smiles. It isn’t before long that he inserts another finger, pumping them rhythmically in and out of your hole as it becomes more and more wet from his stimulation. You press yourself into his palm, your legs quivering against him. 

You try to turn your head, but his other hand keeps you in place, letting Dottore continue the assault on your bare shoulder. Your moans grow louder. His biting, his fingers, the pain and pleasure-- you soon orgasm against his index and middle finger. Dottore chuckles softly. 

“Yes, my dear. Just like that.” 

My dear. 

Dottore sits up, wiping his mouth. The faintest stain of your blood is still on his lips. He looks down, admiring his handiwork. Small bites and bruises line your neck and shoulder. 

“Now there is no question who you belong to,” Dottore gives a toothy grin under his mask. “How does it feel to be so clearly marked by me?” 

You peer at him through half-lidded eyes. You do not answer his question. A light pink tints your cheeks as your chest rapidly rises and falls. You slowly sit up, but he pushes you back down again. 

“Nuh, uh, uh, little birdie,” Dottore gently scolds you. “I didn’t say we were done, yet.” 

Dottore slips off your clothing. Your blouse, your skirt, your undergarments. Soon, you’re completely naked against the cream sheets. Dottore undoes his belt, slipping his hardened cock from his dress pants. He positions himself in front of your wet entrance. Normally, he’d want to tease you. To make you beg for him. But right now, that doesn’t matter. He’s chasing his own pleasures. He’s licking his own wounds. 

He’s finding comfort in your body. 

Dottore pushes into you. Your slick walls envelop him and he groans, his noises of pleasure intermingling with yours. He starts slow, but soon becomes impatient, thrusting into you rapidly. Your face is completely flushed now. You wrap your arms around his neck, trying to gain some support against his harsh movements. Your moans against his skin make him even harder. He grins slightly. 

“See how much you love being mine?” Dottore asks. “How pitiful, falling in love with someone like me.”

He knows his words are a farce-perhaps a twisted projection- but saying such things are oddly comforting to one who consistently denies comfort. 

That's quite alright though-- it's easier to keep you controlled this way.” 

Easier to reassure myself that you will not be swayed by another.

You attempt a sully look, however, it’s impossible to look threatening in this position. 

“You think too highly of yourself, Doctor,” You manage to say. “And even if you were correct, you would never know.”

He laughs. 

“Me, not knowing something? I highly doubt it.” 

Dottore lifts your left leg, resting it on his shoulder. This new position lets him push even deeper than before. You cry out as his hips snap into you. You clench the sheets, moaning loudly. You’re saying his name. Moaning it. Yelling it. 

Yes, repeat my name. Let everyone know you belong to me. 

He can feel your walls tighten, sucking him in as you near your second orgasm. He’s close too, a familiar pressure building inside him as he climaxes. 

You cum at nearly the exact same time. Dottore thrusts one last time into you, spilling thick, white ropes of semen into your womb that mixes with your own fluids. He pulls out, panting as the lightheadedness slowly dissipates from his skull. Dottore stands back up, adjusting himself. You’re still naked, curled atop the bed, a slight tremble occasionally courses through you as you recover from your last orgasm. 

What a sight to behold. 

Your wings cover your body as you curl into an even tighter ball, no doubt about to fall asleep. 

Dottore watches as your breathing slows and when he’s certain you’ve lost consciousness, he sits beside you, watching you sleep. Tentatively, he lays beside you, studying you, taking your image in like you’re a research study he’s never read before. 

He slowly reaches his hand out, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. He furrows his brow as that familiar pounding in his chest returns. 

Oh why, why, why does this feeling return each time he sees you. 

Anaxiphilia. The act of falling in love with one you know you shouldn't be with. He'd always been enraptured with the forbidden, with the taboo, what he was told he could not have. 

Was it really any surprise that he'd fallen for his own trap? 

Perhaps in that silly experiment, it'd always been him that was the subject, not you. 

I've made a grievous error. 

An unprecedented miscalculation. 

Perhaps the biggest one in my career thus far. 

And I only have myself to blame. 

Dottore rolls on his back, staring at the ceiling in disarray. He bites back a frustrated groan. He clutches his chest as if he was having a heart attack. He’d prefer that. He’d prefer to have his heart crushed a thousand times than realize something so humiliating and agonizing. 

“Calculating and intelligent as you are, you are still human.”

He’d run from the fact for weeks. He’d denied it every step of the way. He wanted to delude himself, telling his lovesick mind that he was above such feelings. That he wasn't human enough to feel this. But as his heart flutters once more as he stares into your unconscious face and the desire to embrace your sleeping frame embeds itself in his mind, Dottore realizes that he knew this painstaking truth all along. After all, it didn’t take a genius to realize what he’s feeling. 

I've fallen for her. 

I who am destined to be a god in this mortal world-- How could this happen? 

Dottore stares back at the ceiling. He grits his teeth. He'll never admit a mistake on his part. Not before. Not now. 

So no one can ever know. 

Least of all, you. 

A small knock at the door. Dottore strides to it, opening the door to reveal a Fatui agent who bows. 

“We’ve gathered some interesting intel of Director Zhang’s activities for tonight,” The agent states as she hands him a file. 

Dottore pulls one of the papers out, examining it carefully. He smirks. 

How interesting. 

He nods towards the agent. 

“You’re dismissed.” 

Dottore closes the door once again. As Dottore prepares to leave, he gazes at you once again. 

No. He wouldn’t wake you. He could handle this himself. 

He wouldn’t let you near that Baihu again. 

Dottore approaches you, taking off his mask and letting his long hair spill out. He presses the hard material against your face before kissing you once, right where Baihu had. He lets his lips linger for just a moment longer before straightening up and readjusting his mask. He starts to say something, but stops himself. 

You open your eyes a little, sleepily murmuring. 

“What was that?” 

Dottore shakes his head. 

“Nothing. Sleep well.” 

You do as you're told. 

Perhaps he uttered three very different words in another timeline. But here, they will never be spoken. Because even still, he couldn't. He couldn't ever admit it. He wouldn’t. 

After all, those who hate themselves like he did can't possibly love.

Past chapters here

[bedroom-dreams]

First kiss with Enhypen’s Hyung Line

Pairing: Enhypen's Hyung Line x reader (f in Heeseung's and neutral in the rest)

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: kissing, mention of food in Heeseung's

Word Count: 1.736

Song Recommendations: none for Heeseung's, Oh! My Mistake by April for Jay's, Pretty Dark by Grimes for Jake's and Chemtrails Over the Country Club by Lana Del Rey for Sunghoon's.

A/N: my first work finally posted aaaaah! I spent a lot of time and care in it to make sure it was worthy and I really like the final result. I'm actually a bit nervous but also very excited to open up like this. I have a few song recommendations for the reactions but you're more than free to do as you please: there was not a song I could firmly set on Heeseung's but idc I think it really adds to it (besides, I randomly thought of assigning songs as I was finishing up so it's whatevs), Oh! My Mistake by April for Jay's wink wink, Pretty Dark by Grimes feels so cuddly an ideal for Jake's part and Chemtrails Over the Country Club by LDR as I was mostly listening to it as I was writing Sunghoon's reaction and it makes my heart beat very fast how perfect this match is! Finally, I'd love love love to know what you think of it, whether good or constructive.

♡Heeseung:

It was around 1:50 am and after a day of work he’d been dying to meet up with you. He’d been praised in his vocal lessons and he’d finally finished perfecting their newest choregraphy, which he’d rewarded himself with with a bigger portion of dinner than what was usual for him. Not to mention the 50,000 won bill he’d found on the ground when leaving for the company in the morning. Life had smiled at him and he’d taken every blessing with pure excitment, but to completely wrap up his day he wanted to see his favourite girl.

You’d been dating for a few weeks but it felt as if your honeymoon phase would never find an end. Every thought of him was exciting and every time your eyes met felt groundbreaking. Imagine then the exhilaration of having him next to you.

Now you were mindlesslly strolling down the streets near his dormitory just in case it got too late. It was rather far away from downtown Seoul which allowed for the lamppost’s light to be uninterrupted, except for the occasional stray cat.

With laced hands and his hoodie on your body, your voices were down almost to a whisper to match the quietness of your surrounding and to keep both of your hearts from taking over. As you walked and conversed about both of your days the topic of you came up. “… And I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. Sorry for all the messages today; And thank you for coming all the way here.” He said apologeticly.

“Don’t apologize about that. My heart feels like it’ll jump out of my chest when I hear from you.” The last line was not supposed to come out, but maybe that’s some lie you told yourself in case he didn’t take those words seriously. However, the butterflies in his stomach went off almost alarmingly strong. “And thank you for inviting me all the way here, including me in today.”

“Any day with you is perfect.” And with a leap of confidence he held his gaze straight into your eyes.

And with the sparkle in your eyes and slightly open mouth from the effect he had on you, he knew this was all he needed, so he leaned in, your face mimicking his movement like a magnetic pull, which made your lips meet in the perfect axis of a delicate and telling first kiss.

♥Jay:

“This is the one I want!” You said choosing “Oh! My Mistake” by April. As beautiful as you thought the song was, you also wanted for Jay to hear those words being sung by your heart only to him.

With a hand on your back he encouraged you as he leaned back into the leather sofa, exhausted from the singing and dancing the previous dozen songs had pushed the both of you to under the pink beams of the norebang. From the windows, the droplets of the rain you hadn’t been able to escape and the light from the tall buildings of the city seemed like tiny stars envolving you in an esoteric world of your own.

No one would’ve guessed who the professional idol was from this scene alone but in that moment he just wanted to sit back and let you do your thing without coming down from the high only you provided him with.

And so the song started and from the first seconds your heart moved to the song letting yourself be moved by it, the shyness of your solo concert melting away with every count, every word you knew to be true to your feelings toward your boyfriend and every cheer he sent your way.

Even the dance moves felt freeing enough to turn around every once in a while to look at your Jay, giggling when his smiled doubled in size at the eye contact, and him, who like an enchanted person, not once directed his sight to something other than you.

Maybe it was a little bit to early to tell but looking at you, a sense of new-found responsability washed over him, a need and want to protect you from every bad thing in this world. To always preserve your twinkling eyes and special ways. He was ready for the evolving love he had always yearned for, with you.

As you said the last line and your dancing came to its end you turned around to see his fading smile, but far from any frown, he could only show adoration. You were sure all the clocks around the world stopped to gift you a moment you’d never forget as he grabbed your hand, pulling you next to him, almost on him, and with a swift and fast movement he held you by the back of your head and your waist to your first kiss.

♡Jake:

Laying under the covers, softly talking about anything with him and drowning in the atmosphere was as perfect an afternoon as it sounds. It was your first visit to Jake and his teammates’ dorms all the time you’d known him and you were in awe of everything and beyong happy he was finally sharing this part of him with you. None of the rest of the members were home either, the privacy making you want to go to the next level with him. By the way he looked at you, even when your attention was on something else, maybe today you’d get lucky.

Jake was right next to you, after all, he was the one who’d suggested to heat up this way from the cold. He hadn’t stoped smiling from the moment you appeared, especially at your excitment and curiosity. When he was with you there was no filter on his brain; whatever you wanted he gave you, whatever you asked he answered, if you smiled he smiled too and if you frowned he frowned too. The boy was shamelessly into you.

“you look so beautiful right now. Are we sure you’re real?” Jake and his mouth. not once had he not startled you with his compliments. In return you smiled and closed your eyes, suddenly aware of the short distance between you two, and complimented him back. “You say that as if you didn’t look, well, like you do.”

Actually, those were all the words that were supposed to come out but he stopped you mid-way with his kiss.

It wasn’t a long kiss or a particularly deep kiss. It was a confident and fun kiss.

What followed was a silence that lasted for as much as your breath was held in and broken with your boyfriend’s laughter.

“Jake..”

“Yes, my love.” There he was again making you melt.

“You kissed me.” And you could still feel his lips on yours, the unforgettable tingle of the flower of his love.

“Yes I did. Our first kiss. Did you like it?” Gosh… it had been perfect.

“I…” you started laughing with him at the situation.

“I’ll take it as a yes.”

“I loved it.”

With Jake there was nothing to read, what you saw was what you got. No weighting out the options, just betting it all, just kissing you. In truth, if you asked him, he had actually been holding it together for a long long time, from the moment you’d accepted to go out with him he’d been fantasizing about it but after hours of uncesing loving you, under the covers and with the changing lights, he knew there was no moment better than this.

♥Sunghoon:

Ding!

The elevators doors opened and closed on the 21st floor, keeping in five of you within its four walls and dim light. No music, not even the doors made a sound. Sunghoon moved closer to you, who was in the back. His handsome features masked true feelings; he couldn’t feel his legs from the nervousness. The words of his members mixing in his head with the thousand worries romantic feeling bring and the issue consuming him: to kiss or not to kiss? The small space only leading you two to the ending of the night.

Ding!

You were now down to the 16th floor and more people flooded into the elevator squishing Sunghoon to you, who instinctively got between your body and the rest of passangers. You thanked him with a small smile, which made his pale cheeks an immediate red. Did you feel the same pressure he felt? Was it all in his head? Did you despise him for the intimacy that never came? If you did, you never showed it nor mentioned it.

Ding!

Only about 12 floors till you reached your destination, however people kept coming in. In the myriad of perfumes and colognes the only one you caught was his, now closer than ever, and it was intoxicating to the point of dizzying you against the dark wall. Like always, you didn’t know when the next time you’d see each other would be so you tried memorizing every fraction of him, never tired of being with him. You noticed Sunghoon’s body was both stiff and unresting. Was it your fault? When he caught you staring, he nervously chuckled and looked down. He was dreamy and he looked the part. Without even having time to think it through you touched his fingers, and held his hand.

Ding!

The 7th floor released some people which in turn made everyone left spread out, but not Sunghoon. He stood close to you, still making sense of your laced hands. There were no longer turmoils in him, just the peace of being with who he liked the most, and the knowledge that it was reciprocated. You didn’t say anything to him. He didn’t say anything to you. But you both felt it. A scene starring no one else.

Ding!

You had reached the main floor. As soon as the doors opened everyone walked out and the noise from the rest of the world harshly came in. When the doors closed and silence was reinstaurated, two figures remained inside. Your hearts broke at your imminent separation; you were not ready to let go. You looked at each other with no need to speak. Then, you leaned in for a kiss. It was long and beautiful. To be honest, it made him tear up a bit. Had he found the one?

A/N: omg thank you for reading it!! Which one did you like best?? I did different things for all of them so they’re all special to me hahaha. Heeseung’s was the easiest to write, Jay’s was an idea I had had for a long time and was very happy to do, Jake’s scennario was the one I was the most certain about and Sunghoon’s was the one that was the hardest for me but I ended up doing something I absolutely love and tbh I haven’t seen done before. Have a beautiful rest of your day and night, my loves <3 (and happy Halloween 🎃✨)

[elshells]

Writeblr Positivity Tag

Tagged by @mariahwritesstuff and @writernopal for this amazing tag! Their posts are here and here.

I'm going to leave this as an open tag because I'm very behind on these and want to avoid spamming people with tags. XD

Blank list of questions below the cut for convenient copy/pasting!

1. What motivates you to write?

I love telling stories! There's something so exhilarating and heartwarming about sharing my ideas with others and seeing how much they enjoy them. Plus, it isn't until I write something down that it feels real. When it's all thoughts in my head, it's like I'm keeping a secret, but once I start writing, I'm putting myself out there!

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

Ooh, it's actually so hard to choose a favorite (which I guess isn't a bad problem to have)! But here's a snippet I really like from chapter 9 of Agent Ace:

They were several stories in the air. Cars drove below as tiny specks on the street, contrasted by the towering buildings surrounding them on all sides. The sky was a burnt orange, casting light down on the city and setting the glass windows ablaze. Holding her breath, Sophia crawled out further, grabbing the edge of the window to pull herself out onto the tiny ledge suspended above the ground. She stood up tall and lifted her head to the sky as the sunlight warmed her skin, washing away the feeling of a cold, dingy cell. A heavy wind buffeted her face, tossing her ponytail behind her and causing her eyes to water. But she loved it. Being up this high, seeing the city sprawled out beneath her, gave her strength. She was graceful and weightless, like if she tried to jump, she'd fly. For the first time in a long time, she felt like Ace again.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Aww, I love them all so much for different reasons! But if I have to choose one, I think Jade is the one who truly makes me feel good. She's the kind of person I want to be (and am afraid will never be), and while I prefer to avoid writing characters based on real people I know, she still reminds me of a lot of my best friends, so it's just so hard for me not to love her!

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

I love getting lost in the story as I'm writing it. Whether it's a fight scene or a romantic scene or just a simple conversation between two characters, I love when I get pulled into the scene and I can visualize everything, from the emotions to all five of the senses.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Imagery! I'm a very visual person, so I tend to describe settings, characters, etc. in a lot of detail. It's something that I unfortunately hold back on sometimes because I'm afraid of getting carried away. I also love writing dialogue, which is weird because that was my bane when I first started writing. But over time, it's started to come more naturally, and I've figured out how to craft different voices.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

The interactions! I haven't been on Tumblr that long, but I feel like I've already made some great connections through asks and tag games. Everyone is so genuine and supportive, we make each other and our works feel seen!

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I write all of my stories in Google Docs (Garamond, my love!), and before I post a new chapter, I like to run it through Hemingway editor. It helps you know if you overuse adverbs (which I do haha) and how many sentences are written in the passive voice. It's a nice final step to polish the writing before I set the chapter loose into the world

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I adore the city of Harmont in Agent Ace. When I first started writing the story, I used a real city as the setting, but as dove deeper into the realm of sci-fi and I started establishing the Watch and the Guard, I decided that a fictional city gave me more freedom, and allowed me to explore a world that was still similar to ours, with some extra details that made it so much more interesting. Of course, Harmont is still heavily influenced by my own surroundings, but the written lore runs deep, and to date, it's the second most ambitious setting I've ever created (the first is still in development)!

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

I'll preface this by saying that I'm far from qualified to give writing advice to anyone (even to myself), but I think the best thing you can do is to go easy on yourself. Even if you don't make a certain word count or even if you don't write at all, there are so many real-life factors that make it hard to write. Short attention spans, mental illness, exhaustion from work, self-doubt—I could go on. But there's no point in beating yourself up. If you can't summon even one word onto the page, walk away and let your mind wander. Listen to music, watch a funny video, stare off into space, anything as long as you're distracted. Then come back to your story. Even if you're not ready to go back to the computer, think about the scene you want to write. Visualize it if you can, or just imagine what you want to happen step by step. Once you figure out each beat you want to hit, you can go from there.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

@bitchin-beskar is the one who convinced me to join Tumblr! She's the most supportive force in my life, and I love her to death!! If you're into Star Wars, Marvel, and Call of Duty, she's written some amazing fanfic (and some smut!) and I would highly recommend checking her out.

Also a massive thank you to @writernopal, @sam-glade and @captain-kraken! You all have given me, my characters and my stories so much love, support, and hype since I wound up here, through your wonderful asks and tag games, and I'm so grateful to have you in my bubble! Each of you are fantastic writers and I can't wait to get lost in the worlds you create!! 💕

1. What motivates you to write?

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

[dreamerswriter]

The Phantom

And our next hero trailer is Danny Fenton, the Phantom! Much like with Avatar, I am only now watching Danny Phantom. I am at episode 30 for those wondering. Now! We are on the second trailer which is Danny’s who goes by the Phantom. 

So far, pretty good! I get why there are fans of this series. It has relatable characters, the story is interesting, this is a different take on the formula and a different take on this kind of series. 

Here is the song for this trailer. Honestly, ghosts and Hu Tao, this was an easy choice! Also, I am sorry for this being late. I was busy, but here it is! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBdTJcJEXOM

Links to the other heroes and heroines trailers.

(Danny’s POV + Third’s POV)

           Late night, heavy fog, noisy city dying down, the lights are glowing, and a shady deal is happening behind the back alleys of the city. Man, why does they always wear black clothing and matching fedoras? It really doesn’t matter because I can always sense your presence.

“Hey, do you have the goods?” one of the dealers asked as he approached the leader.

“Of course, I do” the leader answered as he opened a small chest filled with illegal drugs, “But, do you have the money?”

Well, time to get to work.

A shadowy figure made himself invisible and held his hands out to make ice drip from it. He flew over them to make a chilly wind freeze over the dealers and leader.

“Hey! Wait, what was that?” the dealer exclaimed as he rubbed his arms to warm himself up, “Did you feel that?”

The leader scoffed as he shook his head, “Stop worrying! We’ve got our goods! Let’s just go home!”

The shadowy figure flew over them again as the dealer jumped and appeared to be frightened. He was searching for the source of the cold, but he can’t see him.

Hm, why don’t I give them both a scare?

The shadowy figure flew behind the leader and then made the shadowy figure’s head appear just as the dealer turned to see his leader.

“AAAH!” they screamed as they held each other while I made my whole body appear.

He waved his hands to make a wave of ice to blow them back.

“Ah, it’s the Phantom!” the dealer exclaimed as I winked at them.

“Do something!” the leader ordered as the dealers surrounded me.

The Phantom disappeared through one to freeze him and then punch the other one. The Phantom roundhouse kicked the other one before fading away to freeze another one. Then, a few jumped the hero as he let out a nervous laugh before fading away to have them pile up on each other. The Phantom then flew upward to freeze them together and sitting on top of them with a laugh.

Yep! I’m the Phantom, but my real name is Daniel Fenton. Though, everyone calls me Danny. I’m an electrical engineer, but I really enjoy space and the stars. Strange, but I love it. Everyone has a hobby.

The scene changes to show Danny in a plumber’s uniform as he stood at the cash register. He sighed as he saw his mother, a tall lady with orange hair wearing the uniform, helping a customer while his father was working in the backroom. Then, another lady hugged him warmly. She has her mother’s hair, but she was in grad school and only came by for a visit.

Yeah, I work for my parents, but I am job searching! I just sent an application to Flynn Findings! I am sure to get hired there!

The scene changes as a black-haired pop star are running pass the giant, fun sized building of Flynn Findings while a black man scientist was running up the steps, carrying machine parts. Danny is standing outside and sighing at the building. He is wearing a simple white shirt and a pair of blue jeans and sneakers. He has his black hair shining against the sun while his gray eyes examined the building.

I really need a job. Especially since I’m doing this hero thing. I can’t believe I got tangled into this mess. Kim is at least reasonable, Star is fine, but Randy is a nightmare! He always burns my cool! What is wrong with him?!  

The next scene shows him speaking with Kim with Mundus Libre as they were making an important list. One scene shows Star happily shoving all kinds of history books in Danny’s face as he stumbles back. Then, the last scene displayed Danny falling into many pranks Randy pulled on him for Randy’s amusement. Danny sighed in defeat before yelling and chasing after Randy who laughed all the way.

Ah! I’ve had enough of this!

The scene changes back to the one at the stake out where he is fighting the leader. The leader throws a couple of punches, but the punches phase right through him. He smirks at him before he grabs one fist to freeze it. The leader screams as Phantom then drew his other fist back to punch him! The leader hit the ground with a thud. Phantom then placed his hands on the ground to freeze the leader and his dealers to the ground. He could hear the police sirens coming towards them. He disappears and smirks as the police arrests the thugs.

I bid you adieu, but not too soon. I hope the Phantom sees you if you think of throwing your life into something foolish!

[bdbsvirtualjournal]

A Presentation - 15/10/2023

For the possibility that someone will stumble upon my page, I want to write a short presentation or bio for the potential stranger, but also for me too since I never actually wrote about me. Or discuss me in any way outside my mind.

So, I'm B. , I'm 21 years old at the making of this page, and I live in Timisoara. I've always lived here and I actually really love my city. I don't really plan to move from here, definitely at least. It is a big city, but with a low density so it gives small towns vibes sometimes. It is like a compromise between the stability of small communities but it also has the opportunities for a good career. I am studying Telecommunications here at the Polytechnic University. Even though the field itself is nice and in the 3rd year the courses seem more interesting to me, I can't say that I'm deeply passionate or interested in this domain at large. It mostly sparks a passive curiosity, but it never evolved into something I see myself dedicating my free time. My interests revolve around humanities.

I am tall person with an overall strong build, I work out and cycle a lot, but I don't relate in any way to masculinity. I consider myself gender-queer, my relation with gender being quite complex. Not just on an identity basis, I have feminine features as well. For as much as I can remember, people always remarked my unusual traits. 'Your nails are so beautiful, you should paint them' or 'Did you put mascara on?' are some of the earliest I heard. But that's a discussion for another time.

My political and moral views about the world are deeply left wing. Since my childhood I always took an interest on the human and social parts of the world and history. I was always concerned with how people lived their lives, what was their routine and how did they got throughout the day, rather than focusing on strategic things like battles armies or heroes. Most of the literature I liked growing up was about the human condition.

I am also a Christian. I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian. I go to Church every Sunday, mostly because I am also an Altar boy. I like helping and being deep in my local community. I really like Theology and the history of the Church. It is really fascinating how smart people interpret the Holy Texts and how much meaning they extract from Them and how they created a big system around it. However I'm not a spiritual person, I can't say that I FEEL the divinity.

If I had to describe my "'personality" in a psychological (or pseudo at least) I'd say that I'm an introvert. I don't really like to be surrounded constantly by people. I like staying in house and putting time into my interests. I enjoy the time I spend alone and sometimes I need it like a it's a necessity. However I don't consider myself anti social in any aspect. I can get along with most people, form amicable relations with most people and I can entertain discussions, be them casual or on specific subjects, joking or serious. I also seek people that have similar interests as me. I seek real and genuine human connections, just like anyone else for that matter.

As for my hobbies and interests, I have a deep passion for arts, in special for literature, music and movies. I could talk about those all day. I also enjoy other forms of media such as animations and video games, but not that much as I used to do a while ago. I watch way too much YouTube vids. I also love animals, especially birds. I own a lot of pets and domestic animals.

In my spare time outside the house, I go to concerts. A lot of them. I know every venue in my city and some in others. If there's a concert, most likely I'm there or at least I know about it. There are some places that revolve around cultural stuff but not that many. Just some libraries, some art hubs and small cinemas. I'm also there from time to time. I will get more into what types of music and literature I like, but another time.

Overall I'd describe myself as man of contradictions and conflicting ideas. I study in STEM but my passion is in humanities. I am progressive person and I would describe myself as socialist and/or anarchist but I'm also a practicing Christian in one of the most conservative denominations. I think about my gender identity way more than most people do. I can get along with everyone and I rarely feel alone, and most of the time I can find someone to distract me from that feeling, but I always felt like an outsider who can't find that easily someone that TRULY gets everything. Even my city has contradictions. Even thought I like in a big city (at the outskirts of it indeed but still in the city) I live in a basically rural area and I have farm animals. I don't care about the concept of nationality and overall I hate nationalistic ideas. On the internet I've always adopted other nationalities and formed my personas around them (for example I pretended to be Hungarian on Facebook to trigger dumb Romanians). But I also feel attached to this place I the thought of me not being here scares me. I know that I will miss it.

While I do have all of this contradictions in my life, I don't feel emotionally affected by them, but I do want to explore them more and maybe learn something about myself, that's why I want to journal my thoughts more.

[laylaswriting]

Stubborn to No End

my masterlist | how to request

Pairing: Viktor x fem!reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: None

Tags: drama, angst if you squint, fluff

Prompt/Summary: y/n is working as Viktor's assistant for a few months now. One evening they get into a fight about Viktor never taking breaks when he admits he's dying. And confesses some other stuff too ✨

A/N: Ok so, like I'm super nervous as this is my fiiirrst Arcane/Viktor fics so all feedback is super appreciated! Sorry if this sucks. If you see bad grammar please feel free to point it out! Also this includes one Russian word, and I know there is no such country in Runeterra but I loved the idea of Viktor showing affection in his mother tongue so here we go. Also please correct me if my translation is faulty 😅 Also I dedicate this to all of you sweet peas who requested a fic from me hehe, they are next!

The sun was setting over the City of Progress – Piltover. Its orange rays were reflected on the tall windows of the buildings, shimmering on the gold accents, making the view wonderful from the Academy building.

Viktor however paid no attention to such things. The curtains and blinds in his lab were closed shut, his mind only focusing on one thing, his research. That was what kept him up at night, made him jump out of bed in the morning. That being said, he barely woke up in his bed recently. He spent most of his nights in the lab. His determination and dedication were like no other’s, not even his partner, Jayce could come close to Viktor in this sense. Maybe y/n was the only person, who was almost as stubborn and dedicated as he was. The only difference is that she was dedicated to him.

y/n was a lab assistant around the Academy for a few years now, helping out professors from time to time with their research or acting as a substitute teacher when needed, giving lessons to younger students. She first met Viktor in Councilor Heimerdinger’s office a few years ago. He was his assistant at that time, and she applied for a similar job as well. She saw him before that, wandering around the academy, always a book in one of his hands, his cane in the other. He was always so lost in his thoughts one could basically see the wheels turn in his head. He barely spoke with other students, and just like him, she was shy as well, so she never approached or started conversations with him.

Now she was Viktor’s confidant, his helping hand during his work. After meeting in the councilor’s office, they became close. For some reason he was just as intrigued by her as she was by him. They’ve been working together for a few months now, or one could say Viktor was working, and y/n tried to keep him from overworking himself – with little success.

That evening was no different than any other. She was walking in the vast hallways of the building, doors and huge windows surrounding her on both sides. Viktor’s lab was in a quiet part of the Academy, as per his request. Jayce’s room was right next to it, although recently he visited less than he used to. She stopped in front of the door and let out a sharp breath. She knew it was always a hard fight with Viktor when it came to his health versus the research, the need of helping people. But she couldn’t let him save those people if it meant that he works himself to death – because she loved him. And because she did it tore her apart that she had to go against his will. She wanted nothing more than him to succeed, to finally be able to achieve his lifelong dream, to be able to help his people from the Undercity. To see him happy. But she couldn’t afford to lose him in the process either.

‘May I come in?’ She asked in a stern voice after knocking on his door a few times. There was no response, and the room was quiet – she didn’t hear a sound, no scribbling on the blackboard, no sign of him working on the Hexcore either, so she was sure Viktor was either taking notes, or has fallen asleep. She slowly pushed the door which opened with a small creek and she looked inside, her eyes needing a few seconds to adjust to the dark of the room.

Viktor was sitting at his desk, arms resting on his knees, eyes looking at nothing. She could basically see the wheels turn behind his amber eyes as he was glaring at the distance. She also knew he was too preoccupied to notice her enter the room.

‘Viktor?’ She said in a soft voice, not wanting to startle the man. His gaze darted to her, a faint smile appearing on his lips, before he apologetically shook his head.

‘I’m so sorry y/n, I didn’t hear your knock.’ He replied, standing up from the chair, reaching for his cane and approaching her. ‘Is there something I can do for you?’ His tone calm and polite as ever, and even after all these years his accent charmed y/n every time she heard it. She had it bad for him and he was absolutely oblivious to it. But it was okay for her, if this was the price of realizing his vision of helping the Undercity.

‘Just wanted to make sure you are alright. It’s getting late, are you planning to go home?’ She replied, already knowing the answer to this question. If he could, Viktor would live his life in the lab, not wasting any second with sleeping or eating or anything that’s not work for that matter.

He did not reply, but a barely audible scoff left his lips as he turned around and walked to his desk. He stood there for a minute, arranging the papers on it, rereading his notes for what must have been the millionth time. The faint blue light of the Hexcore illuminated his face, which seemed to be even more tired than usual. Her heart clenched seeing him like this. He was troubled, more than he usually is. Like the whole weight of the world was his to carry.

‘You should take a break. I’m serious.’ She said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, bracing herself for the usual argument.

‘y/n, I don’t need you to act like my mother. You know that.’ He replied, his tone cold as ice and she could see the frustration in his eyes. She hated to do this but they had this argument at least once every week.

‘Viktor, please. I only want what’s the best for you.’ She muttered, eyes wandering away from his form facing away from her, to look at something else.

‘You don’t know anything about me. How could you want what’s the best for me? I don’t need help taking care of myself!’ He raised his voice, turning his face towards her but not facing her. His eyes were furious, and sad. She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, taking a sharp breath.

‘I’ve been alone all my life. I’ll manage without your constant bothering thank you very much. Now please, leave me alone.’ He continued, his voice barely audible by the end of the sentence. A deafening silence took over the room after he finished speaking, no sound other than the constant buzzing of the Hexcore and the occasional noise of papers being moved around the desk. He seemingly paid no attention to the woman standing at the other side of the room, but in reality, he was all too aware of her presence. After a few minutes of silence, she finally spoke.

‘Viktor, what’s wrong?’ She asked cautiously, which made him face her once again, his amber eyes looking into hers.

‘Nothing.’ He lied.

‘You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever you have to say. I’m here to listen.’ She said, clenching and releasing her jaw as she tried to calm her heartbeat. She knew Viktor was not a man of words, or expressing feelings for that matter. She lived for those moments when sometimes he would laugh out loud, or burst with excitement about a new breakthrough in a project. These moments grew rarer with each passing week. But she loved his calm and drawn back moments just as much, when he would silently work at his table, one hand massaging his temple or twirling his hair as he tried to figure something out.

‘I’m sick, y/n.’ He said so quick and low she barely understood it. But she did, and her heart dropped to her stomach, tears stinging her eyes which she tried to hold back.

‘What… do you mean?’ She asked, keeping a longer than necessary pause between the words.

‘Growing up in the Undercity has taken a toll on my body’ he started, looking at his hand as he spoke. ‘I probably won’t live as long as it would be necessary to finish this project. To… help my people.’ He spoke, and he looked into her eyes. Her mouth fell open just the tiniest bit from his intense glare. His eyes pierced into hers with such emotion she never saw in them before. She broke the eye contact and looked down at her shoes, her vision getting blurry as the emotions took over her. She scolded herself in her mind for this – she couldn’t cry in front of him. It would only make her seem unprofessional. As she was lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear the footsteps approaching her and she only realized Viktor standing in front of her when his fingers brushed against her chin, lifting her head up to face him.

‘дорогая (dorogaya – darling).’ He said something in what she assumed was his native tongue, a sad smile appearing on his lips as he looked in her eye. He moved his fingers from her chin and tried to put a loose hair behind her ear, eyes following his movement. Her heart has never beaten so fast, all the emotions were almost too much to handle. He finally planted his hand at the back of her neck, and he gently pulled her face close to his, only stopping before they touched. His gaze was darting between her eyes and lips, a silent plea for her to make the last move. And she did. She put her hands on both side of his face and pulled him into a kiss, pouring her heart and soul into it. She waited for this moment for so long. His lips were soft and gentle with her, like she could vanish at any second. His hand moved from her neck to her lower back, pulling her into him as close as he could. As an answer to this, her arms wrapped around his neck in a strong embrace, she never wanted to let this moment go. This fleeting moment of pure happiness, where she knew he was just as happy as her. She felt it. It was if a thousand suns exploded in her chest, the bittersweet feeling of being this happy and sad at the same time overtook her body. Viktor broke the kiss to look at her, and she only realized her tears were falling when he wiped them down. His eyes were soft, happy and sad at the same time. She couldn’t help but leaned into his touch.

’Viktor, I-‘ She started, but interrupted herself before finishing the sentence. He smiled at her.

‘Me too.’ He said in a soft voice, and kissed her again. ‘I’m so terribly sorry love. I shouldn’t have said all those things. And I’m sorry I made things so hard for you with this.’ He looked away from her, guilt in his voice, but his hand never left her cheek.

‘But out of everything, I would regret missing out on this the most.’ He said, looking into her eyes again. The weight of his words made her heart burst with a new wave of emotions, and it was her time to kiss him now. After their lips broke, she kept him close and rested her forehead against his.

‘I’ll do everything I can to help you.’ She said with her eyes closed and he just smiled.

‘Is there any point in me trying to stop you?’ He asked, to which she replied with a short laugh.

‘You know there isn’t. I’m stubborn to no end.’ She answered and he kissed her again.

[loving-all-for-loki]

How about a Loki x reader.. Tony moves his baby sister into the compound after something happens to her but he won’t tell anyone what. She refuses to leave her room until everyone is in bed. She comes out one night and is caught by Loki. She immediately apologizes and becomes so shaken up that she drops her things and breaks a glass. Then it hits him why she was secretly moved in. Tony had discovered his little sister living in a bad situation with her now ex and suffered years of abuse. Loki decides then to take his time to make her feel safe again and they eventually fall for each other.

A/N: I hope this works! I got really sappy at the end, but I also don’t know how to end these one shots. This is a bit of a lengthy one, so bear with me.

He’s Not Him

Summary: Tony Stark has enough of his sister’s ex and moves her into the Avengers Tower. After taking notice of her shy and timid behavior, Loki digs deep at her past, making him want to make her feel safe.

Pairing: Loki x Stark!reader, Tony Stark x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 2993

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of domestic abuse, language

Forever Tags: @mm2305

Y/E/N - your ex’s name

*If you or someone you know is being domestically abused, please reach out to 911 or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) for help. Love you all*

-

Tony storms into his sister's apartment. After standing outside of her door for a half hour, he bashed in the door at the the sound of a scream from inside. Frantically, he pushes his way around the furniture and bursts into your bedroom. His eyes go wide at the sight of you on the floor in a ball and your ex boyfriend above you with a fist out. Stark grabs your ex’s fist and rips him away from you, pushing him into your dresser.

“Get the fuck out!” Tony screams.

“Oh, the great Tony Stark is here. What are you going to do? Drop a bomb on me?”

You’ve never seen Tony’s skin turn so red. He storms forward and punches your ex square in the nose, sending him down on the ground. Tony unleashes all his energy until the man is left with a broken nose and multiple bruises.

“Get. Out.”

Your ex runs out of your room, without missing the chance to break a few things, and out of your apartment. You look up out of your ball to see Tony rushing to your side with panic in his eyes. He lifts up your head as you climb into his lap.

“Come here, darling. You’re okay. You’re safe now.” He coos.

You cry into the crook of his shoulder as he rocks you back and forth, his hand on your back.

“I’m getting you out of here,” He says, placing you on your bed, “I’m taking you to the tower with us.”

Tony leaves you on your bed as he gets a suitcase and packs your things. He gathers all of your clothes and some of your possessions like books, drawings, and others. You can feel the tears starting to dry on your skin as you stop crying. Tony doesn’t miss the way you start to uncurl and the bruises on your neck show up. His face drops to see the choking marks on your neck.

“I’m… so sorry, Y/N. I should have been here to protect you.”

You shake your head at him as he joins you on the bed. Tony reaches around your head to undo your ponytail and cover the bruises.

“There, now no one will ask you about them.”

You give him a gentle smile which eases him a little. He leans forward and kisses your forehead before taking your hand and helping you up. Tony and you walk out of your building and into the garage where Happy is in the car. He drops you off for five minutes to go talk to your landlord about you leaving.

“You’re going to be okay,” Happy reassures you.

“Thanks,” you manage to get out.

He gives you a warm smile. He has always made you smile throughout the years. Tony comes back, joins you in the car, and takes off to the tower.

Upon arrival, you look up at the large tower in awe. You’ve visited a couple of times, but that was a year ago since your ex didn’t allow you to see Tony much. It’s always been impressive. You were thankful for Tony letting you live on your own and make something of your own life instead of letting you mooch off of his fortune, but you do regret sometimes not letting him support you more. You were always so proud of him.

Tony carries your luggage as he leads you to the elevators. He looks down at you every so often, noticing the anxious way you bite your nails.

“You’re safe here. We have the best security and you’ll be surrounded by trained assassins and heroes. They’ll protect you, I promise.”

You nod your head at Tony’s words. As much as they help you, you don’t really want to see or talk to anyone. After having your ex break into your house every day for two weeks, you want to be alone except for the occasional visit from Tony.

The elevator doors open and reveal you and your brother to the Avengers who are all lounging in the living area. They turn to look at you with puzzled faces, making you nervous and hide behind Tony’s arm. He lets you stay behind him instead of forcing you to say hi as you exit the elevator.

“Everyone, this is my sister, Y/N. She’s going to stay here from now on so be nice to her,” Tony announces.

Everyone says hi to you but you stay silent behind Tony. He doesn’t question it even though the others look at one another in concern. Steve thinks to himself that you can’t be that rude, but given the way you look, everything must be very different to you from the rest of your life. You look shocked and scared.

Looking at the Avengers, you take in each and everyone’s appearance. Bucky and Nat look the scariest in your opinion and you make a mental note to stay away from them. Sam, Steve, and Clint look nice, but Wanda looks like the sweetest lady in the universe. She has a smile that warms your heart. Turning to your right, you see two very tall men standing and staring at you.

The taller one has blonde hair and a big grin on his face. He has a large stature, but he does not look intimidating. He has a golden retriever energy to him, but the man next to him is a different story. With his pitch black hair and powerful stand, the other man stares at you with daggers in his eyes. He sends shivers down your spine without saying anything.

You drag your eyes away from the intimidating man and follow Tony down the hallway. He leads you to your room where you get settled in, unpacking your clothes and putting away your things. Laying in the bed, you take a big nap which is needed. You feel as if you let out a breath you’ve been holding for days. The idea of being away from your ex finally settles in and you feel the wave of relief wash over your body, letting you drift away into sleep.

You’re woken up by Tony letting you know dinner is being served. He lets you know that you’re not being expected to come out and eat with everyone, which you appreciate. Ten minutes later, he comes by your room and slips a plate of food in your room as he opens the door, letting you eat alone.

Tony returns to the living room by the other Avengers eating and gathered around the couch. He takes his plate and sits next to Pepper who has her own food, smiling at him as he joins.

“So, your sister?” Sam asks.

“Don’t even think about it. She is not to date any of you.”

“Woah, I didn’t say that,” Sam laughs.

“But we know what you meant,” Steve chuckles, rolling his eyes, “She seems shy.”

“She is. You probably won’t get a lot out of her.”

“Can I ask why she’s staying her?”

“No.”

Steve shares a look with Bucky. The elevator door opens and Peter walks into the living room.

“You guys started dinner without me?” He asks, jokingly.

“Early birds get the worm,” Steve laughs.

The group chuckles and keeps eating their food.

“Is Y/N a new Avenger?” Steve asks.

Tony sighs and rolls his eyes at the question. Everyone notices the annoyance in Tony with talking about you and collectively decide to stop asking questions. It’s clear he doesn’t want to talk about you much.

“No, she’s not.”

“Who’s Y/N?” Peter asks.

“I’ll fill you in later,” Nat replies.

The day goes by fast and you find yourself staring out at New York in the moonlight. You have always enjoyed the night time. They say New York is the city that never sleeps, but you’ve always found peace and warmth in the New York night. Everyone goes out to party or to bed. It’s a time of joy and relaxment.

You hear the last door shut for the night, signally everyone going to bed. Looking outside of your door, you don’t spot anyone so you sprint outside to the kitchen with your empty dinner plate. Upon entering it, you search the walls for the light switch for about five minutes. There’s no other light than that except for the over. You finally find it and switch it on. As you turn around, you’re startled by the frightening black haired man standing there.

Scared, you drop your plate, shattering it on the tile floor. Your eyes go wide as you start to back up against the wall. Without saying anything, the man takes a step forward, scaring you half to death. Your mind plays tricks on you and all you can think about is your ex breaking into your home. You start to have a panic attack, sliding down against the wall, and curling up into a ball.

You miss the way Loki’s eyes go wide. He watches you descend into an anxiety attack and doesn’t know what to do, knowing he’s who caused it. Quickly, he rushes down the hallways and bangs on Tony’s doors.

“What do you want, Reindeer Games?” He groans.

“Your sister…”

Tony doesn’t wait for another word for following Loki down the corridor. He spots you panicking in the corner of the kitchen and grabs you, lifting you into his lap. You grab onto his neck and pull him close, crying into him. He lifts you up and carries you off to your room without saying a word to Loki, leaving him standing in the kitchen agape.

Not knowing what to do and unable to relax, Loki makes his way to his room and opens up an old laptop Thor had gotten him. After spending thirty minutes just to figure out how to work it, he starts googling things about you. He starts with your name and finds multiple articles on you and Tony, the Stark Industry Golden Children. You left when you were eighteen, wanting to make your own life and not follow in the family’s footsteps. He gives you credit for being yourself, something he had struggled with. He knows the feeling, not wanting to be your family.

Then a certain website catches his eye, Facebook. He finds a profile of you filled with photos and text. There are some of you with friends in the town, a couple of old coworkers wishing you a happy birthday, then there’s a photo of you with a man. There are no other photos of you with him other than this one a couple months ago. He keeps scrolling to find more photos of you with him, but they all stop after that first one. Clicking on something tagged in the caption, another profile pops up.

Y/E/N’s profile. Filled with photos of drunk nights at the club, shirtless gym time, and quotes from misogynistic authors, Loki finds himself despising this man he does not know. He scrolls through finding very little of you in his account, as if you don’t matter as much to him as he does to you. Closing his computer, Loki decided to go check on you. He’s frustrated by whoever this man is, not knowing whether he’s important or not.

Loki peeks into your room to see Tony laying next to you, brushing through your hair with his fingers. Tony looks up and meets him in the eyes. There’s slight anger, but Loki doesn’t feel pushed away. He takes a step in before Tony leans into your ear and whispers. You look up and over to Loki, but you don’t ask him to leave. Loki continues to walk into your bedroom quietly, but with a small gentle smile on his face.

“I’m sorry for scaring you earlier,” he says, “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. Thanks,” you mutter.

Your voice is small and timid like a mouse. He can hear the hesitation in your voice, not knowing whether he should talk to you or not.

“Are… you okay?”

“Yes.”

Another awkward pregnant pause erupts between the two of you. Loki looks around your room as Tony continues to hold you. He whispers into your ear again before leaving.

“I’m going to go back to my room,” he says, “call me if you need me okay?”

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Of course, anything for my little sister.”

He kisses your forehead and heads out of your room, leaving you and Loki alone. You don’t mind his presence anymore. After Tony tells you that Loki isn’t your ex and you’re okay, you’ve accepted him.

“I have to ask… who is that man on Facebook?”

Loki gives you a quizzical look. You think for a moment about how Loki got on Facebook and what guy he’s talking about.

“His name is Y/E/N.”

Your body clenches at the sound of his name and Loki takes a step back, looking at you. He’s never seen anyone physically close up just from a name. It may be some Midgardians thing he doesn’t understand, but the way that you are shaking, he thinks otherwise. He sits down next to you and wraps his arms around your shoulders. You lean into his touch as you attempt to calm down.

He’s not here. I’m safe. He’s not here. I’m safe.

You keep repeating that in your head, reminding yourself that you’re safe in the tower like Tony said. Looking up at Loki, you see his concerned face. He cares. This man you barely know cares about you.

He’s not him. He’s not him. He’s not him.

“I don’t think I properly introduced myself. I’m being quite an ass asking you these questions without manners. I’m Loki.”

Loki, not Y/E/N. He’s not him. He’s not him.

“Well, L-Loki,” you say with a stutter, “He’s uh… my ex. Ex boyfriend.”

“Ah.”

He nods as he takes in the information at hand. Your ex, who makes you quiver in fear even over people who have done nothing to her, has no photos of you. He shares his lavish lifestyle that most would presume belongs to a single man. Loki looks back at your depressed ridden face. The color in your skin has drained from you and you’re staring blank cold at the wooden floors under your bed. Loki places a hand on your neck to move your hair and give you a light massage, but you flinch away from him before he is able.

Loki’s never seen so much fear and worry in someone’s eyes before. You jerk away from him muttering yourself, as if it were taking everything in you to not scream. He looks over you to see bruises along your neck where your hair had moved from when you moved. A wave of anger runs through his body, infuriating him. He did that to you. That’s why you’re so afraid of him.

“Did he-”

“Yes.”

Loki rises from your bed and clenches his fists. You see the anger pouring from him and rush to his side before he can storm off. You grab his arms and force him to look at you.

“Please, don’t… don’t do anything.”

“Why shouldn’t I? No man should ever do that to a woman, especially you.”

“Just let it be.”

He releases his fist but the fury in his eyes doesn't. You pull him towards you to make him sit again. Moving in closer, you lean into him. Loki wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his lap. The two of you lay down in your bed, you curled up on him as he held you, running his fingers in your hair.

For some reason, Loki feels as if he has to protect you. The way you ball up gives him this sense of innocence about you. You haven’t done anything to deserve those injuries, just live your life and try to find love. Loki always knew there was a good reason to hate Midgardians, not just for their stupidity and now he’s found it.

The two of you fall asleep without realizing it. The light from the sun peaking in the windows wakes you. Stirring in bed, you look up to see Loki under you, his arms holding you against him by your waist. You're cradled into his chest as his chin barely rests on the top of your head. Loki’s eyes flutter open at the feeling of you moving on top of him. He looks down at you and smiles.

The way the light shines on your face makes you look angelic. Your smile warms his heart and the warmth of your body against him makes his heart jump. You turn over to face him, leaning up on your shoulders over his head.

“Hi.”

“Hello, darling.”

“You slept here.”

“Both of us did, actually,” he laughs.

You drop your head laughing. Loki’s sweet laugh fills the room and blesses your ears. He’s not too bad to be around. He’s quite kind and sweet.

“Thank you for last night.”

“For what? If I remember correctly, I gave you a panic attack.”

“I mean the way you calmed me down and held me. It was needed.”

“Well, I’m glad I could do that for you.”

Loki means it when he says it. Looking at you now, there’s not much he wouldn’t do for you. You don’t deserve what the world gives you, especially that asshole Y/E/N. He would hold you for the rest of time if that meant keeping you safe.

You won’t lie either when you tell Loki he makes you feel safe. Every day before he sneaks off to his room so the others don’t know he spends the night with you, you tell him that he makes you safe. He never believes you. He’s shocked that anyone could feel safe with a monster like him, but after all to you, Loki is not him.

[hanazuma-inactive]

Hello! This is kind of a long request and well- Hopefully you’re fine with doing temporary Body Swap. :>

So basically Bakugou and his Male S/O are pro heroes and when out on a mission, they both get hit by a villain who has a swap quirk. Basically, they just swapped bodies. (Y/n is in Bakugou’s body and Bakugou is in Y/n’s body, they basically just switched minds.) They are told by the other pro heroes that the two should go home and take the day off. Unfortunately, nobody knows how long the quirk effect will stay, but they were convinced it was only temporary. So the two go back to their shared apartment and the day goes on pretty normal- besides the fact that, you know, they’ve swapped bodies. Though later Y/n gets a bit of an idea. What if he were to f*ck Bakugou in this body? The thought seemed kinda strange at first since he would literally be f*cking his own body, but he couldn’t deny that the thought was turning him on. Especially wanting to see Bakugou’s reaction. So, he basically handcuffs Bakugou to prevent him from struggling and.. while in the middle of doing it, something happens.. Shit! Why did it have to happen now?? Y/n panics in his head as he realizes they just swapped bodies again, and he is now at the mercy of Bakugou Katsuki himself..

I actually sent a request kinda similar to this to someone else but it was a while ago and they haven’t responded so they may not have liked it, or it just didn’t arrive. And sorry for choosing Bakugou again, you just may be able to figure out who my favorite character is.. Sorry for my rambling.

If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine. Anyways, have a good day/night, man!

in his shoes (nsfw) bakugou x reader

pronouns: he/him

warnings: body swapping during sex, bottom and top reader+bakugou, selfcest (?), degrading, bratty behavior, claimming and possesive themes, bondage (handcuffs)

a/n: i really like this concept and i will write it don't worry 😎👍 i usually write all of my requests anyways. im also sorry this took literally 5 years.

_____

katsuki bakugou and y/n bakugou. the two of you have been married for 2 years now after you guys started working as heroes. you both went to UA and graduated at the top of the class. neither of you had time for love or romance resulting in neither of you confessing you feelings for each other. gladly, things managed to work out in the end.

"he's on it again, i need the bakugous here right now."

hearing the police force requesting your assistance, you and your husband show up on the case. it turned out to be the villain that the two of you couldn't capture the last time during patrol. 

"HEH?! look y/n, it's this motherfucker again. what's up with this loser, coming back every time it's annoying." 

"play nice now katsuki, let's just go and restrain him and let the police take care of the rest."

the two of you move quickly to match the villain's rapid movements. katsuki flew around using his quirk to attempt to catch him but failed. the villain was surprisingly agile and you guys had a tough time trying to chase him down. 

after around half an hour of chasing you finally cornered the villain on top of a tall building in the middle of the city that was still in construction. the ground was hard to walk on and somewhat unstable but you managed to find your balance. 

"alright, give it up, you've got nowhere to run now. 

"what he said, stop resisting and i won't blow your face off."

the villain's expression turned to fear as you started to close up on him. out of panic, he used his quirk. it was a small beam that didn't hurt at all. however, after a few seconds your body started to heat up, you looked over to katsuki and you could tell he was feeling the same. what was happening?

seeing the two of you struggling, the villain quickly left the scene but he had trouble moving around due to his surroundings. his movements were also somewhat impaired due to fatigue. it was most likely the aftereffect of his quirk which was why he was pretty reluctant in using it. 

the strange feeling in your chest wouldn't go away and your vision started to blur. next thing you know you woke up on top of the same building to see yourself lying next to you. was his quirk duplication? no it couldn't have been. you tried to stand up but felt the weight of some heavy armor dragging you down. you look down to see yourself wearing katsuki's hero costume and his gauntlet. still in awe, you heard a groan in your own voice next to you. 

"shit… wtf happened, y/n where are you where-" 

it didn't take long for your husband to find out what happened. 

the two of you have switched bodies.

you both tried to explain to the police who's who but it only ended in confusion. you went home with your husband after they put the two of you on break for "damaged mental" from the villain because the majority of the police thought you guys were crazy. 

there weren't any cases similar to body switching between heros before so the doctor said there's nothing that can be done other than attempting to wait off the effect. so there you were, in your husband's body, cooking dinner for the man while you saw your own body lazily sitting on the couch with your legs spread open watching the tv. 

life went as normal for the next two days, since you two were both males there weren't any problems whatsoever. however, one day a thought flew into your mind while taking a nap with katsuki. since he was the one who would usually top, now that you're in his body wouldn't it technically mean you get to top? 

physically you would be using your boyfriend's body to fuck yourself. but the thought of the all mighty bakugou katsuki taking his own dick, his bratty attitude, and lastly breaking him and making him fall apart by your touch aroused you in an indescribable way. you knew katsuki wouldn't agree to this due to his prideful personality so you had to take other measures to carry out your plan. 

you and kastuki had all sorts of toys laying around and you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine with them. while he wasn't looking you grabbed the vibrator, handcuffs, and blindfolds and put them all on the nightstand. now that everything is in place, all you have to do is wait to catch katsuki off guard tonight when he gets tired.

later tonight, after finishing dinner, katsuki was yet again sitting casually again on the couch watching tv, not giving a single care to the world. 

"heyy katsuki!"

"hm? yah?" 

"come with me for a second? i want to show you something!" you said with a sly grin on your face

katsuki didn't care enough to talk back, neither did he think this could lead to the ill intentions you had with him tonight. following you into the bedroom, you gestured katsuki to sit down on the bed. he obeyed although he began to have a suspicion of what you're about to do. using your new body, you abused katsuki's strong muscle and speed to restrain your own body with the handcuffs you prepare. there was no way for katuski to fight back in this situation because your body was simply not built enough to resist his. 

"h-huh? what are you doing dumbass…if you're joking s-stop it now, it's not funny." 

"oh i am very serious katsuki, now that i'm inside your body. i am going to fuck your brains out. i'm gonna thrust that bratty attitude of yours right out the window." 

hearing you say that, your husband looked away to avert his eyes while you heard a small gulp coming from his throat. you could tell he was nervous and that's exactly what you wanted. katsuki has never bottomed in his life before and he does plan on doing so either. 

finally having katsuki in your grasp, you decided to carry on with your plan. you put on the blindfold for him as he jolted in surprise. katsuki tried to get out of the handcuffs but later found his attempt futile. these were the toys he used for you too and he out of everyone should know it's impossible to get out of them. once your husband stopped moving you gentlt took off his pants, leaving him exposed wearing only your boxers with an erection under it.

"aww katsuki~ already hard and i haven't even done anything yet, maybe you're better off being the bottom hm?" you teased 

"s-shut up you shit head, just get on with it, whatever evil plan you have in store for tonight…"

"no need to rush katsuki" you said as you entered his asshole with 2 of your fingers, loosening him up for the vibrator. 

"we have the entire night."

you heard your own voice whimper as you explored more with your fingers. soon enough it was time to put the other toy in. your fingers left for a bit preparing the vibrator, leaving bakugou panting from the pleasure and clenching his hole around well, nothing. you turned on the vibrator and katsuki immediately noticed the familiar sound of what's in your hands. 

"o-oi y/n, don't put it in here, i-i won't be able to take it." 

"oh i'm sure you can~ you made me do it plenty of times, why can't the big and strong bakugou katsuki do it?"

without mercy, you put in the vibrator quickly and let the show play out. katsuki was moaning and groaning while you stroked your own cock enjoying the view. katuski's cock was bigger than yours and you weren't used to jacking off such a big dick but it was a nice first.

seeing a wet spot forming on katsuki's underwear, you knew he was ready to go. you took off katsuki's underwear to see the precum leaking from it, so much it looked like he was about to cum any second now. next, you took out the vibrator and started to spread some lube on your cock. you positioned yourself on top of the katsuki and teased his pink hole with your huge cock. 

"what do good boys say katsuki~?" 

"tch! i'm not saying it, y-you sadistic fuck."

you slapped katsuki's ass so loud that the neighbors probably could've heard you.

"i'm the one in control right now, you listen to what i say, understood?"

"f-fine, jesus christ! p-please y/n, put it inside me…" 

"that's a good boy…" 

after you fit ¾ of your cock in katsuki was already panting heavily trying to catch his breath. it reached his prostate you leaned down on his chest to bite on his nipples to make him feel even better. his hole clenched on your hole so tight you were barely able to move your cock around. you continued to make thrusts and sped them up each time. 

during your thrusts you suddenly felt the weird feeling when fighting the villain again. both you and bakugou's body started to burn up but it wasn't as painful as it was last time. next thing you know everything was pitch black. you felt a piece of black cloth on top of your eyes and a familiar size inside your ass. it didn't take you long to realize that you and bakugou finally switched back. 

you were glad to be back in your own body but why did it have to happen now?! out of all the times it could've happened this was no doubt the worst possible timing. you just teased the crap out of bakugou and now that he's in control again he can take his revenge right here, right now.

"oh? would you look at that…our bodies switched back…" you couldn't see katsuki say this but you could already tell the evil smile on his face. 

"k-katsuki i'm sorry, i didn't mean to tease you that hard i was just trying to have some fun y-y'know." you desperately tried to explain. 

"too late now baby boy… bad boys get punished for what they did. now… get ready, for the night of your fucking life." 

regret, nothing but regret. bakugou was already an aggressive person when it comes to sex, now that you pissed him off even more you weren't prepared for what he was about to do to you. 

without warning, katsuki pulled back his hips and thrusted into you harder than ever. you took his entire length right away and the full feeling in your ass was too overwhelming for you to handle. you started to blabber nonsense, unable to form words due to the pleasure. 

"c'mon baby… gotta speak up if you want me to understand you." bakugou said knowing damn well you can't talk back. 

incoherent moans and groans escaped from your mouth as you felt dry orgasms again and again from katsuki reaching your prostate. you were on the verge of passing out till you saw your husband's panting just as hard as you. you could tell he was very close as well. you tried your best to stay conscious and cum with your husbands. 

katsuki let out a loud moan as he cummed inside you. you reached your orgasm too cumming all over yourself. katsuki licked up the cum on your stomach as you slipped into sweet unconsciousness. he gave you a warm smile and patted your head as he took you into his arms and fell asleep with you. 

[akakeiiji]

HI!~ (THIS IS MY FIRST TINE REQUESTING AND IM REALLY EXCITED) Can I request a scenario where their smol s/o (I'm like 155 or 5'1 for reference) gets easily lost? Like they just wonder off on their own cause they think that he's still with them and she tends to leave her phone with him so calling to find her is out of the question??? (Me honestly IM SORRY FRIENDS AND FAMILY) She likes a lot of things so sometimes its hard to find her cause they never know where she is? Ushi, Tsuki and Bokuto-🌼

-`,✎ Ushijima, Tsukishima and Bokuto losing their short S/O in a crowd

THIS REQUEST IS JUST TOO ADORABLE AND IT HITS SO CLOSE TO HOME!! We’re the same height nonnie 🤧🤧✋ Short gang, where ya’ll at? 

Also I apparently don’t know how to read because I thought you requested for headcanons at first despite you clearly asking for scenarios so I decided to keep the hcs since I was already halfway done with them~ hope you don’t mind, nonnie! 

The man is literally built like the empire state building, he just towers over everyone, it’s insane

And then there you are behind him, all tiny and stuff, it’s so friggin adorable

He doesn’t really notice your height difference at all

Whenever people point it out, he just cocks his head with his eyebrows furrowed and is like “Yeah, I’m tall?? And they’re short?? Why are you reacting like that?”

He’s genuinely confused and doesn’t see why it’s a big deal at all

When he looks at you he doesn’t really pick up on itty bitty details like your height and stature; he just sees you for the whole you and sees you simply as this perfect deity that he loves

But he does appreciate the perks that come with it such as the way you feel when he hugs you after a match or the way you look up at him so adorably when you’re trying to get a kiss

He also didn’t realize the cons that came with having a tiny s/o

There are many but we’re focusing on the fact that it’s so easy to lose you in a crowd

He’ll literally look away for 0.5 seconds and when he looks back at you, you’re suddenly gone

He probably won’t notice for a bit but after a while, he’ll wonder why you aren’t holding onto his sleeve or hand anymore

Whenever this happens he usually goes about it in two ways; he’d either stay still where he is and let you find him (which isn’t hard, he sticks out like a sore thumb) or if enough time passes, he’ll retrace his steps and look for you himself

He’ll have a tiny little frown on his face since he gets so worried about you, like you’re so tiny what if you get trampled??

When he does find you though, the wide smile on your face when you catch sight of him honestly makes the search worth it

can you tell that I miss ushi so friggin much

The streets in downtown Tokyo are always so packed at this time of day. There were hundreds of people rushing to and from work, tourists taking in the sights, and busy shoppers such as yourself and Ushijima; you two had just finished shopping together and were heading to your favorite restaurant in the area as you always do to end your date night.

Your hand remained tightly wrapped around the hem of your boyfriend’s coat as you two made your way down the busy streets, struggling to not get pulled away as people continued to mercilessly push past you. You would have much rather held Ushijima’s hand but he insisted on carrying all your shopping bags and was rather preoccupied with them at that moment.

He marched on, oblivious to your struggles behind him. It was during times like this when you hated how short your legs were, you were practically jogging to keep up with your boyfriend who, to him, was only going at a leisurely pace.

Before you knew it, your hand had loosened and you suddenly lost hold of his coat. You looked up, hoping to find him just a few feet away, but he had disappeared into the sea of people all around you.

Ushijima hadn’t noticed anything at first, he was too focused on where he was going to realize that the little tugs on the hem of his coat throughout the journey were suddenly gone. He looked down at both his hands and placed the shopping bags on one of them to the other so that he could use it to hold your own.

He held out his free hand behind him, calling out your name, and motioned for you to grab it. A few seconds went by of him gesturing like this only to be met with no response.

He looked back, eyebrows furrowed, only to find no sign of you.

Ushijima immediately stops in his tracks, eyes widening ever so slightly as he did a little 360 turn in his spot, raking over the crowds rushing past him in hopes he’d find your familiar head of hair bouncing about.

He stood motionless where he was, forcing people to walk around him—most wanted to tell him off for standing in the middle of the street but no one had the balls to.

A few minutes went by and he began walking down the direction he came from looking everywhere for you. Worry began to bubble in him when you were still nowhere to be found but suddenly he saw a figure waving at him from afar.

You were standing on top of those small cement blocks on the bottom street lights, waving your free hand that wasn’t wrapped around the lamp towards your boyfriend, grinning ear to ear when you met eyes with him.

Ushijima smiled in relief, shoulders relaxing as he made his way over to you. You met him halfway, immediately wrapping your arms around him in a hug, burying your face into his chest.

“I’m never letting go of your hand next time.” He said, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of your head before interlocking your fingers together. You laughed, nodding in agreement. “Definitely not.”

We all already know this: Kei is fucking ruthless

It doesn’t matter that you’re dating. It doesn’t matter that you’re literally his favorite person in the world tho he’ll never admit this to you you will not be free from his savageness

No one is more hyper-aware of your height difference than he is and no one teases you more than him

Tsukishima is literally the type to steal your things and hold them over your head or he’ll purposefully stand at full height whenever you want to kiss him just so that he can watch you struggle

“Oh, babe, I didn’t see you from down there.”

Is the type to purposefully put things you use all the time up on the top shelves in cupboards and cabinets

He says that he does this to annoy but really he does this so that you can call him to help you since he banned you from climbing the counters 🤧✋

He really loves your height though as much as he likes to tease you for it

He loves how easy it is to wrap his arms around you and how you burrow into his chest whenever you hug

His favorite thing about your height is probably the fact that it’s so comfortable being the big spoon with you since you fit so snuggly against him 🥺

again he’ll never tell you this, my man is tight-lipped

However he can get very protective over you, it’s like he developed this idea in this head that small = fragile

So whenever he loses track of you in a crowd (which happens a lot, it's honestly embarrassing) he immediately drops everything and searches for you

He’ll have this permanent pout on his face as he retraces his steps, going back to wherever you two were and keeping an eye out for either you or places that would catch your eye

Once he finally catches you, he’d sigh in relief and immediately put up his “i’m annoyed right now, give me attention” face and head over to you, knocking your head with his knuckles lightly

He’d lecture you a bit about staying close to him and he’d spend the rest of your time out with his eye on you and with his hand tightly wrapped around your own

The mall was always so crowded during the weekend especially now that Christmas was just around the corner. Tsukishima told you that you two should visit the mall later during the week but you were just so excited to see this new movie, he simply couldn’t say no; he cursed himself for being so tightly wrapped around your finger.

The building was already pretty full when you two entered the cinema but when you two emerged, it was as if the number of people there seemed to double in just a span of a few hours.

As you two made your way through the tight-knit crowds of people, the frown on Tsukishima’s face never left as people kept pushing and rushing past him. He called out your name behind him and said, “See, I told you we should have come after the weekend, it’s like half the city is here right now.”

He waited for your usual giggle or scoff, maybe a light smack on his arm as you tell him to brighten up but there wasn’t any of that.

“(Y/N)? Did you hear me? I—(Y/N?),” He turned around, worried that you may have been upset at him but instead was surprised to find that you weren’t trailing along behind him like he expected you to be.

He turned around fully, hands coming out of his pocket as he raked his eyes over the crowds of people around him. It would be nearly impossible to find you here, there were probably hundreds of people in the mall now.

Tsukishima groaned slightly as he ran a hand through his locks, his other hand going into his pant pocket to ring your phone only to realize that it was with him as well, right next to his. This elicited a second groan from the blonde.

Knowing you, you probably got distracted by something and wandered away from him.

He retraced his steps, keeping a close eye on his surroundings. He had no idea when you wandered away from him so you could have been anywhere. He stood at full height, towering over the majority of the crowd, and scanned the entirety of the floor and the shops on it.

He entered a few stores he knew you’d most likely visit; the bookstore, the pet store, and a shop that was having a 50% sale but he found no traces of you.

Tsukishima was about to give up and head to the information desk and ask them to announce something on the loudspeaker to grab your attention—probably something along the lines of “To the small gremlin wandering around floor three right now, please meet Tsukishima Kei at the main exit.”—when he spotted a bright store on the other side of the floor.

You were there. He just knew it.

He rolled his eyes as he made his way to the anime store and low and behold, there you were, crouching as you stared at the shelves of anime merchandise, a wide ear to ear grin on your face.

Tsukishima sighed and lightly smacked you, tearing you away from your thoughts and making you look up at him in shock.

“You are such an idiot, (Y/N).” You only laughed in response and wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed your face onto his chest. “Aww, Kei! Were you worried about me?”

“Of course, I was. How do you expect me to feel?” He said with another roll of his eyes. He brought his hand up and placed it on top of your head. “I was worried someone thought you were a child and kidnapped you.”

You let out an indignant gasp and started to smack him but he only laughed and took your hand in his, dragging you out of the store behind him ignoring your protests.

Nobody in the whole entire world thinks you’re more adorable than Bokuto

He adores the fact that you’re so tiny, he likes you call you his pocket-sized s/o  

He never really teases you, instead he always coos and coddles you

He especially loves lifting you up in his arms and twirling you around, he always does this after winning a game and it always leaves you feeling dizzy

But you never complain bc who would complain about being hugged by Kou like that 🤧✋

However, as much as Bokuto loves how smol you are, he always kinda forgets that you’re short??

It’s because he’s always surrounded by tall people; his friends, the volleyball team, etc.

So he always forgets to adjust when he’s with you

And you know how some people just naturally walk really really fast, like they can’t help it, it’s just how they walk normally??

Yeah, that’s Bokuto

And this paired with the fact that he is literally 6’1 means he practically travels at light speed

Your tiny legs can barely keep up with your excitable boyfriend and you’re always practically jogging to keep up with him so if you take your eyes off of him for even just a few seconds he’ll probably run off somewhere and disappear 😔✋

This occurs so often when you two are out that you’re never shocked whenever it happens

It takes a few minutes before Bokuto realizes that he’s suddenly alone in a crowd and that you aren’t beside him like he thought you would be

AND IM SORRY BUT THE FIRST THING HE’LL DO IS JUST YELL OUT YOUR NAME REPEATEDLY AT FULL VOLUME WITH NO SHAME WHATSOEVER

“(Y/N)!! WHERE ARE YOU??”

Everyone around him would give him looks but he wouldn’t care, he just needs to find you fast or he’ll start panicking tho he lowkey already is

Some people would think that he’s looking for his kid but nah, he’s just looking for his smol s/o who would show up beside him after a while with a disgruntled look on their face

It never takes long for you two to reunite when you get separated, you just have to wait for the distinctive voice of your boyfriend yelling for you somewhere

When you two find each other, the first thing he’ll do is pull you into a tight hug, usually lifting you up from the ground as he presses a few kisses on your cheeks in relief

He’ll remember to walk slowly for the rest of the time you’re out, usually with his arm over your shoulder or with his hand tightly wrapped around your own

It made absolutely no sense to you that Bokuto literally grew up in the city yet has never visited the amusement park in the area before. You’ve visited the park countless times before but for your boyfriend, it was a first.

Bokuto was practically bouncing with excitement ever since you proposed the idea of visiting the amusement park together and it only got more intense as the day of your visit grew closer and closer.

You somewhat regretted not pushing your date to a later day in the week so that it didn’t fall on the weekend since the park was so packed but that feeling quickly dissipated when you glanced at your beaming boyfriend beside you.

What you did regret however was the fact that you didn’t wear more comfortable shoes, ones that were more fitting for exercise rather than leisurely walks since you were practically running around the park just to keep up with Bokuto.

His hand remained tightly clasped on your own as he sprinted all around the park, looking at all the rides, food stands, and gift shops around the place. He wasn’t really running, he was simply walking at a quick pace but this coupled with his long legs made it so difficult to match his pace with your significantly shorter ones.

You two had just gotten off a rather intense roller coaster and you felt your head spin from how dizzy it made you, you halted in your steps as Bokuto was about to begin running towards another ride making Bokuto stop as well as he was pulled back by your hand which was still holding onto his.

“Koutarou, let me rest for a bit,” You said as you sat on a bench in the shade, Bokuto immediately nodded and took a seat beside you, he handed you a bottle of water from his bag. “Sure babe, here drink this.”

After a few minutes of talking and resting under the shade, you stood up, reinvigorated, and filled with more energy. “Okay, let’s go, I’m feeling much better now,”

Bokuto immediately jumped onto his feet and beamed at you, more than ready for another round of rollercoasters and thrilling rides. He held out his hand for you to take and you two headed farther into the park.

“Let’s go on the Viking ride next—wait, hold on, let me fix this.” You let go of your boyfriend’s hand and began adjusting the overpriced headband on your head; Bokuto insisted on buying matching ones at the gift shop despite their ridiculous price (“Look, it’s just so adorable!”)

When you looked up, ready to grab ahold of his hand again, Bokuto was suddenly nowhere to be seen.

You whipped your head all around you but you couldn’t see the familiar head of hair of your boyfriend in the horde of people around you. You stood on your tiptoes, craning your head to get a better view but that didn’t do anything to help. You feel back on your feet and huffed; curse you and your short stature.

You walked down the direction you two were originally headed at, raking your eyes over the crowds of people you walked past when you suddenly heard a familiar voice yelling out your name from a distance. You whipped your head towards the direction of the voice and began to jog towards it.

Bokuto was standing on his tiptoes, his hands cupping his mouth as he called out for you over and over again, oblivious to the looks of shock from the people around him.

As he was about to scream out your name for the dozenth time, you suddenly pushed your way through the people around him and grabbed ahold of his arm, an exasperated yet also relieved look on your face.

Bokuto’s face immediately lit up, the small frown on his lips turning into a large smile as he wrapped his arms around you. He pressed you into his chest and lifted you off the ground as he usually does when he hugs you.

You giggled and flailed around as he did this, when he placed you back safely on the ground, he placed a small kiss on your forehead.

“Sorry for leaving you behind,” Bokuto said as he laced his fingers onto your own, “It won’t happen again,”

You scoffed playfully and let yourself be dragged along by him, “That’s what you said last time, Kou.”

[saryasy]

Here’s the thing, I LOVE reading sambucky AUs. I’ve made a list of some of my favorites, and since it’s promotion Monday, I thought I’d share it with y’all.

1. You Got What I Need by @six2vii – Lawyer!Sam & Chef!Bucky

E - 37,635

Summary: Sam and Bucky are both in a bind, professionally. Nat points out a solution that neither men like. To save their careers they play along or rather, stop playing all together.

Note: This was such a lovely read. It has fake dating, with a bit of enemies to lovers. The buildup and slow burn is so well written. Also the writer has many +20k different aus with detailed worlds you might wanna give them a go.

**

2. To The Full Moon And Back by @glittercake – Werewolf!Sam & Human!Bucky

E - 24,697

Summary: After serving his time in Special Ops, Bucky moves to a two-horse town, deep in the mountains. He buys an old log cabin in a large clearing surrounded by acres of tall, thick trees and dark woods- the only place for miles up there.

As he acquaints himself with the locals, he learns about the small town’s weird obsession with wolves and all the supernatural rumors, specifically around the area of his cabin.

Bucky thinks them all a little off-kilter until peculiar occurrences around his new home piques his interest enough to find out more.

And that’s when he learns that apparently werewolves are a very real thing.

Pity that Bucky doesn’t share the town’s caution when it comes to the woods and his cabin.

This ‘werewolf’ devoured his pizza and left the crust, how scary can he really be?

Note: An amazingly written fic all around. it has Sam with long hair, need I say more?

**

3. ghosts that we knew by wilsonsnest – Artist!Sam

T - 46,616

Summary: Sam (reluctantly) agrees to do a commission for Steve's rich but extremely reclusive friend, James Barnes.

Sam just stared at the other man, the feeling of being watched suddenly overcoming him. God, what kind of weirdo didn’t even come to greet their guests? It was one thing to be a rich recluse, but another thing to just completely ignore people wandering around your house.

“Steve, this is really weird.” Sam stressed. “This isn’t weird to you?”

Note: This one is very dear to me, and I don’t find it recommended quite often. I read it twice in a row, and I can’t get enough of it. The atmosphere is chilling at times. And the writing and world building make you feel like you’re right there. Their communication throughout the early chapters is pure gold. It’s adds a hint of mystery to everything and makes you wanna finish the thing immediately (which I did). Also, if you love art, you’re gonna appreciate the great details used to describe the painting process.

**

4. The Boys of Summer by @siancore – Humans AU, with High School flashbacks

E - 84,227

Summary: Sam Wilson returns home to the small town he grew up in to complete his med school residency. He hasn’t been back for an extended amount of time since he left for college. While he only consistently kept in touch with childhood friend, Steve Rogers, he was keen to see the people he had grown up with. With the exception of Bucky Barnes. They had a falling out the summer before Sam left for college.

What happened between them? Can they move past it now that they’re adults?

Note: boy, oh boy, how I love this one. The back and forth between the present and the past just pulls you right in. But, please check the tags very carefully. (It deals quite heavily with homophobia, racism, emotional manipulation from a parent.)

**

5. The Real Thing by Siancore – Student!Sam & SugarDaddy!Bucky

E - 24,745

Summary: Birnin Zana is an exciting city. There’s a lot for a young man like Sam Wilson to do and see, but he is a broke American exchange student in Wakanda. He would love to see the rest of the country and continent, but for that, he needs an additional income. His scholarship covers the basics of his study, but when he isn’t studying, he takes on odd jobs for extra cash; Sam is saving up, you see. His most recent job is the reason why he is standing inside of the art museum nursing a glass of champagne and feeling completely out of place.

Note: Even though it’s missing a chapter (according the chapter count) you’ll be quite happy with where things left off. I just adore it.

**

6. Deception by Siancore – Crime AU

E - 79,992

Summary: That’s when he saw him, standing by the fucking ice sculpture: The most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on.

Note: Am I gonna recommend everything written by Sian? Yes, yes I am. You might wanna go and check her entire catalog, like right now. This story is full of twists right and left. It sucks you right in. It has angst, it has jealousy, it has everything you need. Go read it.

**

7. Lighthouse by glittercake – Hospital AU

E - 50,767

Summary: This guy’s trouble. Bucky knows that in his bones. It’s not bad trouble, is the problem, it’s good. Sam is so goddamn inherently good and if Bucky even touches that with a ten foot pole—fuck if he even looks at it—it’ll turn to shit.

He can’t afford another move to yet another city because his colleagues started recognizing Brock’s fist prints on his face.

But Sam is a ridiculously bright glowing light, a beacon, and Bucky goes toward it like that idiotic moth to the flame.

Note: EVERYONE MOVE OUT THE WAY. This fic will always have a special place in my heart. I just recently re-read it, and all the emotions were right there, again. There are a few scenes that I revisit every now and then just to feel something. It’s a masterpiece all around. I’ll never tire of recommending it. But please check the tags and the notes very very carefully. (It deals with domestic abuse, NOT BETWEEN SAMBUCKY‼. And it gets quite graphic.)

Also, you might wanna do yourself the favor of reading everything ever written by glittercake. Go ahead, I’m gonna wait.

**

8. Stolen Moments by @jemgirl86

T - 98,822

Summary: “No,” Sam said, chuckling. “I don’t cheat,” he swept his gaze up and down James’ body, “even with guys who look like you. But, I’m bored and a little pissed, so if you wanna sit here and shoot the shit ‘til my man shows back up, I’m game.”

Never one to back down from a challenge - especially a challenge who looked like Sam Wilson - Bucky took another swig from his bottle and replied, “Sure, doll. I’ve got nothing but time.”

Steve has Sam. Bucky wants Sam. Sam wasn’t expecting any of this.

Note: I love this one with all of my heart. Usually love triangles aren’t my thing, but this one is executed beautifully, there isn’t a dull moment in sight. They're messy, and you love to see it.

A TW is in place for gaslighting. The relationship between Sam and Steve isn’t good at all.

**

9. Exactly What You're Looking For by snarkymuch – Soulmate AU

M - 5,898

Summary: When you lose something, it might appear beside your soulmate in the morning.

Sam never found anything from his soulmate until after Bucky Barnes dragged Steve from the Potomac.

Bucky grew up never finding a thing either, but after he finally gets free from Hydra, he starts finding things beside him the morning.

This is the story of them coming together.

Note: this one is pure joy. It’s not precisely au (quite canon compliant actually) but I had to put it here. It’s hilarious at times, and fluffy at others. And the alternate ending is just a delight.

**

10. i wanna savour, save it for later by caramelle – Food truck AU (is that a thing? Should be a thing)

Not Rated - 6,419

Summary: "It's his damn ratings, man," Sam says. "It's weird 'cause when you read the reviews, he seems to like our food and all. Nothing but praise for days. And then you get to the rating, and it's always the same. Three goddamn stars."

Bucky tips his beer bottle from side to side, lips pursing slightly. "I see. And that's… a bad thing?"

"We are not a three-star joint," Sam says flatly.

Or, the one where food truck owner Sam gets caught up in his quest to unmask an anonymous food blogger. Falling for one of his regulars was never on the menu.

Note: fun fact: I read this one mere minutes before an exam and finished it right after said exam. I remember nothing from that day except for this lovely fic. It’s just sweet, ok? And I love food, so there’s that.

**

11. Good Enough by junipermoss – Paramedic!Sam & DogWalker!Bucky

Not rated - 18,871

Summary: Bucky Barnes is an anxious dog walker who takes his job very seriously. Sam Wilson is a paramedic who takes his job seriously-ish. When Sam responds to an emergency call, their paths cross.

It gets worse from there.

In a good way.

Probably.

Note: THE FEELS

**

12. Who doesn't know their own coffee order? by tinyarmedtrex – Coffee Shop AU

T - 3.313

Summary: Is that what you get?” The man asked, his gaze dropping to Sam. Sam was suddenly tongue tied. The man had the most intense eyes that Sam had ever seen, it felt like he was staring at Sam’s soul but in a...good way? Sam wasn’t sure.

“No- no.” Sam shook his head. “I get cold press coffee with hazelnut.”

Sam had a feeling that the customer didn’t know what cold press was but he nodded. “I’ll take that. Large.”

Sam punched the order into the ancient computer. “Great. Anything else?” He gestured to the bakery case, the customer’s eyes following.

“How are the apple fritters?”

“Honestly pretty terrible.” Sam said, smiling slightly. “But the chocolate muffins are amazing.”

The man smiled at Sam and his heart skipped a beat. “I’ll take one of those then.”

“Good choice. What’s your name for the order?”

“Um- put Bucky I guess.”

Note: one of the very earliest AUs I’ve ever read, and it’s so so sweat.

**

I’m sure I missed a lot of aus so please, don’t hesitate to add some of your favorites (or even your own!)

[imthatchishiyasimp]

HELLOOOOO!!!

I'm freaking out this is my first post, like the first one shot I post and write about AIB and Chishiya.

I really hope you all like it, please please please tell me what you think about it and whatever you want to tell me.

It's long (4444 words), I know, but I hate small things because I get upset. It's very close to the story and it doesn't have lot's of changes, I wanted to try first to write about something I know. In the future I will write more original and new stuff. Also, I wanted to get used to the universe and to the characters first.

HAVE A NICE READ 💚

“THIS WAY TO THE GAME ARENA”

The sign flashes all around the city. I slowly walk towards the Toei Sendagaya block apartment, focused on the cube in my hands. Due to having no electricity, I’ve gotten used to pick random things from stores to entertain myself.

It’s still shocking to feel the city so silent and calm, and at the same time it feels terrifying. One would think that being that people die every day, the streets would be forgiving. You can’t even lower your guard now. Even since the first day, I’ve liked walking around the streets, checking out shops and random apartments. I kinda feel powerful, but it’s something that deep inside I know it’s just fake and limited. And I’m not giving up, but at least I’m going to enjoy now that I can, until ‘they’ decide that I’m not needed around anymore.

The tall complex shines between the bushes and buildings, its lights on every floor lighted on. I place myself a few meters hidden behind the stairs leading to the central lobby. From there, I sit and watch people climb the stairs. A couple of them look pretty scared and lost, showing signs of this being their first game. The rest all look shaken up but used to this. When it looks like no one else will come, I get up and get to the crowd around the phones.

There’s thirteen people waiting and all of them look at me while I pick the phone from the table. When the facial recognition is finished I can see that there’s only a few seconds left for the game to start. Almost didn’t make it. Would have been stupid to die because I was daydreaming.

‘Move aside’ I say to Chishiya, elbowing him after not having a response. He looks at me annoyed and slips off his earphones. He finally moves to let me place my back at the wall and get my hair in a bun.

“REGISTRATION HAS CLOSED. THERE ARE A TOTAL OF 14 PARTICIPANTS. THE GAME WILL NOW COMMENCE.”

It’s so easy to point out who the newcomers are and the ones that are sick of playing. You can also name who’s going to be willing to put themselves first and who’s going to scary run the whole game.

I start rolling the sleeves of my sweatshirt up when a boy with a cap starts talking to some guys. They look lost, but not new to this. Might be the first week here. I eye them from my spot, not saying a thing but listening to the whole exchange.

“Excuse me, do you know what this is?” He asks a black haired boy. Honestly, he looks a mess, like he has just gotten up from bed and hasn't changed in a few days. “I ended up here and I have no idea what’s going on”.

“It’s a game” He answers. At the same time, the blonde man next to him, probably his friend, tells him to stop it. I chuckle and cover it up with a cough, earning myself a glare from both Chishiya and Aguni. I might be prone to get in trouble with people and they won’t be happy if I screw a game up. Better be quiet.

The blonde guy whispers to his friend and I try to pick something up from the conversation. Not get close to the new ones and something else.

“DIFFICULTY: FIVE OF SPADES”

The card flashes on our phones, telling us the kind of game and the level of difficulty. I was so curious about the card when I got to my first game, I didn’t know what it meant and what I was supposed to do with it. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I admire the cleverness behind the rules and the method of the games. It’s the work of both a psycho and a genius.

A sporty girl starts to stretch just after the card shows, so she must know what it means. She’s calm and collected and I bet she’s willing to put all of us on the killing zone before she goes down. We could be friends, I think.

I hear a sigh next to me and I catch a glimpse of Chishiya rolling his eyes. He doesn’t exactly hate physical games, but they sometimes mean having to run or climb and he’s not a fan of working out. And, even though he won’t admit it, he doesn’t like having his white hoodie dirty. Not going to judge, I don’t love spades games either, but I will choose them over the hearts ones a million times.

I get down to tie my shoes tighter just in case. I would hate tripping like the clown I really am in front of all these people. Some guy in a hat starts explaining to the two friends from before what it means a spades game. Club games are hard if there are more newcomers than experienced people. I mean, if it's a game where team work means everything, you bet you prefer working with someone who knows the way around the games. Diamond ones are a bit weird: being clever will get you through them, but sometimes the answer is so straightforward that you get lost looking for the catch. Heart games are the worst. They will kill you even if you survive, and pray that you don’t get to play with a friend or someone you know.

“GAME: A GAME OF TAG.”

“RULE: RUN AWAY FROM THE TAGGER.”

“CLEAR CONDITION: DISCOVER THE SAFEZONE HIDDEN IN ONE OF THE BUILDING ROOMS WITHIN THE TIME LIMIT. YOU CLEAR THE GAME WHEN THIS OBJECTIVE IS FULFILLED.”

“TIME LIMIT: 20 MINUTES.”

“AFTER 20 MINUTES HAS PASSED, THE TIME BOMB HIDDEN IN THE BUILDING WILL EXPLODE.”

I turn around to face Chishiya, grinning like a mad girl. He doesn’t even flinch when he stops me from talking. “No, I’m not racing you to the top.”

“But…” I sigh and watch as everyone starts running to the stairs like lost puppies. “You are so mean”. I punch him in the shoulder and cross my arms, walking towards the lift. No need running seven floors up and wasting energy if I’m not even going to be able to brag about having won a race.

Chishiya follows closely behind, probably guessing I’m going to try and leave him there.

“TWO MINUTES BEFORE THE GAME STARTS.”

We get inside the lift and silently wait until we get to the seventh floor. It’s been a long time since I used one, not everyday you get to play in a building apartment. Feels nice, and like we’re back to normal.

Once we get to the top, we both choose a position that lets us have a good look at the whole complex. He goes to one wing while I leave for the other one. No point leaving a flank unseen. I take my cube out and restart it, keeping an eye on the people looking around scattered through the floors. I don’t get why someone would choose saying in the lower ground when a tagger is supposed to chase you through the whole building. Dude, that’s the most critical place to start.

“Hey, don’t get distracted with those games of yours.”

“Don’t be mean, Chishiya. You know I’m paying attention.” Anyway, once I finish the cube, I keep it in my pocket and rest my arms on the banister.

Aguni and his new friend get to the seventh floor and both of us wave towards him. Like always, he completely ignores us and keeps walking towards another high point.

“That’s nasty” Chishiya says and I nod along. Aguni is always so serious during games, it’s boring.

“I place my bet on those two guys and the sporty girl surviving”. I firmly say. They look like they will make it, but not without having a rough time.

He has the audacity to snort and laugh at me and I look at him surprised. “You’re joking. Everyone looks like they’re about to die, as usual. Just look at them, they don’t know shit about what to do”.

“Were you this calm in your first games? Don’t be mean, they are trying their best. No one wants to die.”

“But, where you that stupid?” He says while pointing to a couple of girls on the second floor who are touching their phones desperately. “I’m not saying you gotta be a genius from the start, but if you don’t collect yourself quickly, you are already dead.”

“Well, my majesty, not all of us are like you, and some people need a little more time, and a little more help.”

Chishiya looks at me and, as if I had imagined, a caring and sorry look crosses his eyes. He probably remembers the first time he saw me get through the games and how I completely lost it once. It wasn’t easy.

“THE GAME WILL NOW COMMENCE.”

He nudges my arm with his elbow and I look at him.

“THE TIME LIMIT IS 20 MINUTES.”

“Hey” He says with a soft voice.

“GAME START.”

“Don’t die this time.”

“Wasn't planning to.”

“THE TAGGER IS NOW ON THE MOVE.”

As if we all had planned it, the whole complex goes silent, trying to locate this said tagger. A trumpet goes off and everyone looks scared, ready to bolt to wherever they can.

The sound of the lift’s doors can be heard from our position, so the tagger is probably on the sixth or fifth floor.

Not a penny drop can be heard. Not a breath.

Some people start walking and try to open doors. The rest are all watching closely until something happens.

And it does.

Gunshots run through the dense air that surrounds us. I try to see where they come from and I finally catch sight of the tagger. Probably a man, judging for the height, with a horse head and a really mean gun. He’s on the sixth floor, just in front of the stairs.

I point at him and nudge Chishiya, but I already know that he has seen him.

There’s now thirteen of us.

And then shots are fired again and we can see the two friends and the one with the hat running down the stairs, away from the tagger.

“Told you, they are gonna get killed.” Chishiya says with a smirk.

“Oh shut up, this is not a TV show we are talking about. And I have faith in them”.

They split up on the third floor, the hat man keeps going down while the other two try to hide in the hallway. Not long after, on the ground floor that the tagger chases and shots the first one and finds another man freaking out. I don’t know if it’s better that he died because he went off the game zone instead of being shot by the tagger. Anyway, he’s also dead. And that makes three dead players.

Eleven participants left.

“See, they are smart. At least the cute one”. I say smiling.

Chishiya looks at me and raises an eyebrow, silently questioning just what I said.

“What? It’s not like I’m lying; he is cute, and smart.” I laugh and wink at him, cutting eye contact with him. If we are going to have an awkward moment, please don’t be while we are playing for our lives.

The killing spree of the tagger continues with the pretty and lost two girls. They sure are on their first game, because they look so freaking scared and unprepared. I mean, who would have come with heels and handbags. I scoff and shake my head watching how one of them falls dead and the other one wastes an incredible opportunity of getting away while the tagger reloads. Well, not all of us are strong enough to leave our friend and not panic at the same time. Shame she has to die, anyway.

So now we are nine players still alive.

Looks like everything’s gone silent again, until shouts break the silence and we all look for the source. It’s the cute guy and I laugh when I understand what he’s saying.

“Everyone! The tagger is currently at the second level of the central area! The tagger has bad vision because of his mask! Let’s inform each other of the tagger’s location and search for the safezone together!”

“Oh my god, did he seriously turn a spades game into a club’s one?” I laugh again and Chishiya scoffs under his hood. “I want to be best friends with him”.

“Don’t be stupid.” Chishiya says. We move a bit to see where they are going now that they are all running. “It’s a good idea, not going to lie, but no one will answer him.”

He mutters something else, but I don’t really catch it. I think I saw the tagger doubt his step when he heard the guy shouting, but he definitely looks annoyed when the sporty girl shouts back.

“The tagger is moving from the fourth level of the central area! Anyone nearby, run!”

I celebrate and raise my hands, clapping and laughing in Chishiya’s face. He looks surprised and tells me to shut it.

The girl runs from the tagger and finds an elderly woman in the hallway. With the tagger on their back, they are probably going to get killed. I grip the banister and hold my breath. She seems friendly and clever, I’m internally rooting for her.

Suddenly she jumps off the balcony and starts climbing the pipes up to the next floor. The other woman dies behind her, and the tagger tries to catch the girl but fails.

“She’s pretty good.” Chishiya mutters. “You just wish you could do that. It’s called envy”.

“As if you could do that too. You are just as weak as me.”

“Hey! Don’t throw me in the same casket!”

“EIGHT MINUTES UNTIL THE GAME ENDS.”

“THERE ARE CURRENTLY EIGHT SURVIVORS.”

Already? We should start moving.

I look at Chishiya under my hair and he frowns at something. I follow his gaze and see the tagger looking at the cap boy from an upside floor. What’s shocking it’s him starting to shoot from there. He has been killing just people he casually finds while walking around, not shooting from that distance.

The boy goes down, but looks unharmed. The two friends are on the same floor and get to him, running away from the door he was trying to open.

Not bothering to ask Chishiya if he got that, I start jumping on the place and keep my phone in my pockets. He slides off the hood and shoves me towards the stairs.

“Shall we, ma’am?”

“THERE ARE FIVE MINUTES REMAINING.”

From the corner of my eye I catch Aguni intercepting the boys and I make a face. It doesn’t always go well when he does that, he tends to let them die in order to have his way. The sporty girl stops to talk to them and she starts jumping from floor to floor.

“Do you think someone’s going to get it too?” I ask out loud. Chishiya shrugs and keeps on walking. I tsk and stay behind him when we get to the hallway. I turn around and watch my back, even though I heard a fight somewhere near. Probably Aguni, who are we kidding.

Just when we are arriving at the safezone apartment, the cute boy appears from the other side.

“Cute boy! I’m glad you realized it!” I happily say without thinking. I mouth a silent sorry when he looks at me a bit perplexed. Chishiya elbows me, hard, and I whine a bit. That’s mean.

He picks the doorknob first, but doesn’t open it. The three of us are watching closely, and honestly I’m a bit nervous about the time. I don’t like risking it as much as Chishiya.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” he asks.

The boy answers a couple of seconds after, lost in his thoughts “Why did the tagger chase us? He could have just waited here.”

He is onto something. Now, I’m not liking this at all.

“Seems like there’s something else we don’t know.” Chishiya says, keeping his calm exterior. He’s going to use this poor boy in case he has any doubt of a risk. “However,” he adds, taking his phone out “if you don’t open it…”

There are three minutes left.

Sweat starts running down my back, making me shiver and hold my breath while I watch the boy start turning the doorknob. All our phones beep announcing the time left until we all die with the bomb.

Slowly, he opens the door with caution. We all walk inside, in silence and with darkness surrounding us. It 's empty. No furniture, neither personal objects nor some leftovers of someone’s life. A few steps in we notice a door at the end of the room and we all walk towards it.

It’s not until we are too far inside that another tagger walks out behind the door.

“Look out!” the boy screams and pushes us out of the shot range.

Gunshots fly around the apartment and I duck behind the bathroom door. Chishiya uses the taser and the tagger goes down, but recovers quickly and starts shooting again. I scream when a bullet gazes at my arm. It fucking hurts, but at least the bullet didn’t got me completely.

I can hear the apartment door being shut and the other door at the end closing too. They must have gotten through them. I hope they aren’t harmed.

I wait, trying not to make any sound in case the tagger comes to finish me off. I search through the room, but nothing seems lethal enough to use like a weapon. I hate bringing weapons to games, I don’t really want to kill anyone if I can help it.

Gunshots are fired and I cover myself up, even though they are not directed towards me. Fighting blade weapons? I’m okay with that. Fighting people? Not against it. But, I have nothing towards a gun. I mean, it can take me from a long distance! No point.

“Everyone! The safezone is in apartment 406! It’s impossible to clear the game alone! We need two people to do this!”

Are you kidding? This is so mean. What if you were the only survivor? Not fair, not at all.

Well, it seems like I should get moving and try to do something useful in this game. I haven’t done shit, now that I think about it.

Slowly, I open the door just in time to see the tagger shoot the door and break the safelock. I take small steps following it, ready to throw myself to placate it. Just when the gun is going up I jump and kick the tagger in the knee, managing to bring it to the floor.

I hear a scream coming from the tagger and a lady cursing from behind the mask. She starts shooting and I scream trying to cover myself without being hit. The guy bolts and tries to help me get her off the gun, but she keeps fighting like a mad person.

We both go down before she gets us with the bullets and I catch a glimpse of Chishiya at the door, trying to help but having to cover himself because of the lost shots.

The phones all inform us of the ten seconds remaining at the same time that the sporty girl jumps through the glass of the balcony. The tagger kicks me and gets the gun pointing at my face and I panic just a bit before I push back. The other guy tries to help me, but with no help.

“Hey!” Chishiya shouts.

I’m on the floor fighting the tagger with the gun under my chin, trying to get it off my face, but I see him throwing the taser to the girl and she quickly gets the tagger down.

I let out a sigh before I heard the time almost coming to an end. My eyes search for him and we lock our gazes. I can feel the breath we are both holding and the silent words running through our minds. My fingers clench and I swallow, accepting death like a forgotten friend, saying goodbye with a blink.

But, just like that, with a blink, it all finishes. The buttons are pressed on the last second and we all hear the beeps from our phones.

“GAME CLEAR.”

“CONGRATULATIONS.”

In that same moment, the tagger gets the mask off and we can see an old lady crying looking at us. The collar in her neck starts beeping faster and faster and I scramble to get away from her. Chishiya grabs both my arms and I scream at the touch in the bullet gaze from before, but he doesn’t let go and gets me away at the same time that the collar explodes, killing the lady.

My whole back is covered in blood and I roughly grab Chishiya’s hoodie. I don’t want to look at her and see what we did, even though it was unintended. She was also playing, and she died because we won.

Chishiya and I are left in the room with the dead tagger, and he grips my hand and makes me let go of him. He starts checking the pockets of the lady and gets something out, but I don’t register exactly what.

I get out of the apartment to breathe. I hate this part where we really think about what went down here. Lots of people died, and we got a few days to live just to have to risk it again in the next game. Could have we saved someone? Not really, I know that. But it doesn’t make it easier anyway.

“I’m Arisu.” Someone says beside me. I turn and the cute boy is there, watching me from a distance. “I wanted to thank you, for risking yourself back there. We are alive thanks to all of you.” He sticks out his hand to me and waits.

I’m speechless. No one has thanked me like this in any game. I didn’t really do a thing, but he’s thanking me. I should be the one doing it, he cooperated with the other girl and they stopped the bomb. We could have died there.

I let out a small laugh and shake his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Arisu. And thanks to you, you did the dirty work inside the room.”

I look back inside and watch Chishiya stick the paper in his hoodie and walk towards us.

“I look forward to meeting you somewhere else, hopefully not dead in a game. Be careful and enjoy the warm water in the ocean now that we are all alone in the city.”

With a wink, I walk out of the apartment building with Chishiya not too far behind. I think he heard me talking to Arisu, but he doesn’t comment on it.

We walk, and we walk, and we walk. Neither of us likes to go back to the Beach in the cars, so we always take a stroll through the streets, enjoying the silence and the stars shining above us.

“Does it hurt?” he asks.

“Mmh?” I look at him questioning and he nods to my bleeding arm. “Oh, yes, like a bitch. But I’ll have to wait until we get there.”

He tsks and grabs my arm, leading us to a pharmacy around the corner. I don’t say anything, knowing he will shut me up and will only be a waste of time. We get inside and he starts looking for some disinfectant and bandages.

He knows his stuff. I was surprised at first to discover he knows his way around the medical grounds; and I’m glad he does. It doesn't hurt having someone nearby capable of dealing with nasty wounds.

He silently works and I watch him closely. He’s handsome. And he knows it, that’s why he smirks feeling my gaze on his face. I trace his features taking my time. His eyes are the most scary thing I’ve ever met. They hold so much knowledge and feelings. I always feel like he could take me apart just with his eyes. He mostly covers his emotions, so even though you search for micro expressions, you will come empty handed almost always.

I bring my free hand up and run my fingers through his hair. I love it, it’s so smooth and soft. And the fact that he always wears white to match his hair makes me smile like an idiot.

Chishiya clears his throat and starts covering up the wound. My hand drops and rests in his arm, basking in the heat he’s making.

Once he’s done, he brings down my sleeves and looks me in the eye, silently checking if I’m okay. I nod and take his hand, quickly gripping and, just as fast, letting go. I can hear him sigh behind me, and he follows behind.

“You know, I’m glad I met you here, but I would have prefered meeting you in the real world.”

“Why?”

“Because I know I will be safer here with you, but I also know the probability of us having a happy ending is minimal while we are here.”

“You are not wrong.” A couple of minutes goes by until he adds: “But that doesn’t mean you can’t try and make the most of it while you are alive. It will hurt more, but at this point, who cares?”

I let out a breathy laugh and turn around to hug him. Hard. He stops and lets me hug him, finally giving in and hugging me back. I hide my face in his neck, breathing deep and closing my eyes. I can feel his pulse and his chin coming down on my head, his hand running through my back.

“You are an idiot.”

“And you are mean. Deal with it.”

I swear I can feel his lips kissing the top of my head, but it’s so fast I can’t be sure. He starts walking again and I run to catch him before I lose him.

We may have a complicated relationship, if you can call it that. We are there for each other, not sure of what to do, what to give, what to take. But we do not give up. I’m just glad I’m not alone, and thankful that I have someone looking out for me.

I smile all the way to the Beach.

[fific7]

Ticket to Ride - Part 2

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: Inspired by The Beatles song of the same name. This takes place in my S1 Punisher AU with Arrogant!Billy in attendance, in which he gets a taste of his own medicine.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My photo edit)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟, 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕙

𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕖 𝕗𝕣𝕖𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕

𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖

𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖

𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The aircraft door opened and you stepped out gratefully onto the air jetty. You weren’t scared of flying, you just didn’t like being cooped up in a flying tube for several hours on end. Up an escalator and along a short corridor and then you were able to see outside through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The sky was beginning to shade into the colours it would take on for dusk. It looked like it had been a nice day and you hoped the good weather would continue for your stay.

Karen had texted you while you were sitting on the plane at JFK, waiting for it to push back. Frank had told her that Micro had tracked your phone to the airport so boy, were you glad you’d turned off your old phone and switched to the new one when you did. She’d also told you that Billy had asked him to find out where you were headed, and your heart sank. You knew it wouldn’t take long for Micro’s vast and nerdy computer skills to find you but then again, London was a huge city and they’d have no idea whereabouts in it you’d gone to ground, thanks to your new ‘burner phone’.

You were feeling super-excited. This was beginning to feel like an action movie, with you on the run from the bad guys.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

“London??!!” Billy shouted, making Frank quickly move his phone away from his ear on the other end. “Yeah, London,” he replied.

Billy was back at his usual post by the window. “I mean... obviously I knew she was gonna fly somewhere but I thought it would the West coast, Miami, Seattle, Alaska... somewhere like that. But to go to a whole other continent....!!!!” Frank sighed, “Yeah, Bill, sounds like she’s really not keen to bump into you anytime soon.” “Yeah, thanks for remindin’ me.” “Bill, you brought this on yourself, buddy.” “I know!” yelled Billy, “An’ all I wanna do is get her back and make it up to her for the rest of my life, and all I know is she’s in London! Do you know how big that place is?” “Yeah, I do. And t’be honest... I dunno how you’re gonna even try to find her over there.”

There was a silence on the other end of the phone. “I mean...” Frank continued, “I’m guessin’ you are gonna go over there and try to find her, Bill?”

Billy’s shoulder twitched upwards briefly, and he stared intently out the window at the New York skyline.

“Yeah, Frankie... yeah, I damn well am.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d left two of your big suitcases and the backpacks in a luggage storage facility at JFK, travelling with just the one suitcase and a large shoulder bag. You took the overground Heathrow Express to Paddington before negotiating a change onto the Tube to reach Tower Hill DLR station, boarding one of the driverless trains out to Canary Wharf. Settling back into your seat, feeling pretty proud of yourself for managing not to get hopelessly lost.

Your AirBnB apartment was in a part of the city called Docklands, beside the Thames on the Isle of Dogs. It was an area of shiny skyscraper offices and fancy apartment blocks built round the old docks, and your accommodation for the next two weeks was in one of those. You were suitably impressed when you got inside it... open plan, all trendy furniture and gleaming fittings. Big, big windows with views of the river and the tall buildings.

Your phone chimed and you saw a text from Karen on your notifications. Taking your suitcase and bag into the bedroom, you went back out to the main area and sat on the sofa to read it. Oh. Billy now knew you were in London, and had apparently booked a flight over - he’d be arriving tomorrow. Your heart rate sped up; Billy was a sniper, used to finding, stalking, watching his prey. But, you told yourself, he had no idea whereabouts in the city you were and no way of finding you.

Relax.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy stepped off the Heathrow Express, looking around for signs indicating where the taxi rank was. He’d been looking at the Tube map during the train journey. Nah, fuck that.

He was too wired to even think about getting to London Bridge on the Underground, or ‘Tube’ as he found out Londoners called it. His brain had been working overtime trying to figure out how the hell he was going to find her in a city the size of London. She’d stay central, surely - she wouldn’t head to the suburbs, he felt confident of that.

Getting into the first taxi in the queue, he drawled out, “The Shard, please.” The taxi driver nodded and pulled away from the station without saying anything. Thank fuck, thought Billy, I can’t be dealing with a talker right now. But just as the thought had left his head, the driver’s London accent said, “First time in London, guv?” Billy sighed, “No. No, it isn’t.” In fact it was, but he wasn’t about to tell the driver that. He’d only end up getting taken on the ‘scenic route’, double the time, double the price.

The driver grunted and turned up the radio... really annoying music could now be heard but Billy would take that over inane small talk any day. He looked out of the windows at the city streets and his mind went back to his mission. Mission impossible. Finally he saw the river and the taxi crossed a wide bridge before pulling up outside the lofty skyscraper that was The Shard. According to the blurb he’d read on some travel website it was the tallest in Western Europe, and while there were taller buildings in New York, the shape of this one made it look quite dramatic.

He paid and got out of the taxi with his expensive wheeled duffel bag, heading to the Shangri La entrance of The Shard and going inside. (It’s one of the priciest hotels in London - of course). Checked in at reception on the 35th floor, he was then whisked up to his room on the 52nd by another express lift. The windows were huge and the views spectacular.

Once again, he was gazing out of a window at a cityscape.

Where is she?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your first full day, you occupied yourself with getting to know the surrounding area, doing some grocery shopping and sitting on your large balcony, enjoying the view and relaxing with a glass of wine.

Every time a plane went overhead you wondered if Billy was on it - he was due here today. You shook yourself a little, you’d just have to stop thinking about it. He wouldn’t find you.

Your mind wandered unbidden to his recent behaviour. Knowing Billy was a player from day one, you’d still got involved with him. More fool you. Another old cliché.... you thought you’d be the one to change him. And you thought you had. You’d dated him for a few months, he seemed to have ditched his old hound-dog ways and when he’d asked you to move in with him, you’d agreed without thinking it over too deeply.

Now, looking back, it seems like you’d made a big mistake.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Micro had spent quite some time constructing a query table that he could run against accommodation reservations in London for her arrival day. She had no reason to book under another name and he’d just have to run with that assumption.

When Billy had come directly to him instead of going via Frank to ask that he try and track down her reservation, Micro had been too scared to refuse. Billy still really unsettled him - he always reminded him of a circling predator.

This query would take a while to run. He hit the go button and wandered off to work on another project while it tunnelled its way through layer upon layer of data.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was pacing his swanky hotel room like a caged panther. He’d given up on the idea of roaming the streets of London trying to spot his target, that was just one dumbass idea. He’d never find her that way, much better to just wait on that geeky twat to come up with the answer with his internet wizardry.

He’d spoken to Frank earlier, who had nothing new to report. Billy wouldn’t allow himself to feel guilty at cutting him out of the loop on his recent ask to Micro. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that Frank wouldn’t mention it to Karen. Much as he loved him like a brother, Frank was a big sap when it came to Karen and he knew he’d give in and tell her, probably sooner rather than later.

However Frank had told him that Madani had called earlier that day, wanting to know where Billy was and why she couldn’t get in touch with him. Billy had figured out that his girl had got herself a new phone, and he’d followed suit. Which is why Dinah hadn’t been able to reach him. “Whaddya tell her?”he’d asked. “That you were on an overseas operation and were incommunicado.” “Good,” nodded Billy, “....that takes care of that little problem for a while at least,” feeling a sense of relief.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Frank cut the call, a grim smile on his face. He hadn’t been completely straight with Billy, but it was for his own good. What he’d told Madani, however, had been the unadulterated gospel truth.

He’d said to her that Billy had hared off to Europe in pursuit of his live-in girlfriend, who’d suspected him of cheating on her and left him. He was absolutely determined to get her back.

He’d taken great satisfaction in the dead silence on the other end of the line, eventually punctuated by an angry snort and the call being abruptly ended.

That ‘little problem’ was hopefully taken care of for good.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Micro looked at his phone as it beeped at him, the notification saying that his query was complete. That had taken much longer than he thought it would. Now he could only hope it hadn’t returned too many matches as he’d thought it prudent to run it on surname only.

He pulled up the results table and was pleased to see that there were only a thousand or so, he’d feared there would be many more. He scrolled through the list and quickly pinpointed the one he’d been looking for.

With a deep sigh he picked up his phone, typed “Wood Wharf, Water St, London E14”, a building and apartment number into a new message, then hit send. It would be the early hours of the following morning in London, so he very much doubted that Billy would leap out of bed and head right over there.

He finished eating his supper, drank a beer and settled down to watch TV when his conscience started bothering him. Should he? He shivered when he thought about what Russo might do to him if he found out.

Popping another bottle of beer open, he sat and contemplated what he should do for quite a while. He suddenly picked up his phone, sending a quick text to Frank telling him about the whole situation and including the fact that Russo now had her London address.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

While you were lounging on your balcony, sipping your wine and watching the world go by, it suddenly occurred to you that this would be a great base to work out of for a while. You messaged the estate agent and extended your stay to one month, with an option to extend if required.

Then, on a whim, you booked a flight to Barcelona early the next morning from City Airport - it was really close to your apartment even if the flights were a bit more expensive. You’d been doing a little research into other destinations to explore, and having a base in London to travel to and from made you feel much more comfortable. The W Barcelona had caught your eye while you’d been browsing for accommodation and as you were only going for a few nights, you’d booked in there.

Feeling extremely pleased with yourself, you got up and went into your bedroom, looking for a folded-up smaller travel bag you knew you’d packed in your luggage. Finding it, you began to choose some outfits for your short trip, thinking what a joy it was that you could now leave your large suitcase here.

But damn, you were going to have to be up early tomorrow. Best to get an early night, you thought, immediately yawning.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy shot up in bed as his phone chimed with Micro’s text. When he read the information in the text, contrary to Micro’s belief he did leap out of bed and started pulling on his clothes (Micro had forgotten that this was an ex-Marine he was dealing with here).

He sat back down on the bed and googled the location. Oh okay, East London.... Docklands. Too far to walk and he didn’t think the Tube ran at this hour. Then he pulled up the Uber app and booked an immediate pick-up.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Walking into the terminal building at City Airport, you were in the middle of a total yawning fit when a text came in. It was from Karen and you stopped, putting down your bag so you could read it.

Karen: Sorry to tell you this hon, but Billy went direct to Micro 🙄 and intimidated him into finding your London accom. Frank’s told him not to do that again no matter how much he’s shitting himself! Please take care of yourself 💋

You: Bastard 👿 thanks for the heads-up, I will do 😘

Picking your bags up again, you hurried over to one of the automated check-in machines to get your luggage tag.

Whoever had said ‘timing is everything’ had definitely got that right.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

“Oi!!!” yelled an irate male voice. Billy turned his head to see a groggy-looking tousle-haired guy, obviously just having been woken up. “Keep the noise down!”

Billy said nothing, just gave the guy his death stare. His head quickly disappeared back inside his apartment.

After pressing the buttons of a few apartment numbers at the main entrance, someone had buzzed him in and he’d been pounding on her apartment door for the last five minutes. But there was no response, and he knew she wasn’t that heavy a sleeper.

He slid tiredly down onto the floor outside her door. Had she somehow known he was on his way over here? No.... how would she know that?

His head dropped down in momentary defeat and he ran his fingers through his hair, groaning.

She hadn’t moved on already, had she?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The plane lifted off the tarmac, and immediately you felt a huge sense of relief. You just weren’t ready to see Billy right now - you’d probably kill him if you did, ex-Marine or not.

Now you were off on your next adventure.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

London

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep @supernaturalcat7 @obscurilicious @strawb3rrydr3ss

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (SPECIAL CHAPTER)

⇒ a glimpse of life with Jeon Jeongguk now that you can see colors.

Pairing: Dad!Jungkook x Mom!Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Genre/Warnings: established relationship au, fluff, soulmate au.

Note: This is a special chapter for YOUR EYES TELL so it contains spoiler from said fic.

drabble: your eyes tell - special chapter part 2

The total solar eclipse, a black pearl necklace being auctioned for nine hundred two thousand dollars, and you glaring at Jeon Jeongguk.

These things were rare occurrences, but it looked like the last event you had mentioned would happen more frequently.

"I said no, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk. After being together for half a decade now, your husband still shuddered with fear every time you called him using his given name.

Why couldn't you just call him Gukkie? Did he fuck up so bad that you refused to coo his favorite nickname anymore?

"But—"

Your husband tried to reason out; however, when he saw how your glare became angrier, he stopped for a few moments.

Your cheeks were flushing. This didn't look good. You were making Jeongguk nervous.

"I really wanna move back to Seoul," he tried pouting his lips since he knew you could never resist his cute face.

He knew his plan was working when you suddenly clamped your eyes shut, refusing to look at him.

"I-It's not easy to just go back to the capital, Gukkie. Our life is literally here."

Here as in Busan. You and Jeongguk decided to settle down in his hometown the second you found out that you were pregnant.

You two figured that it would be best to raise your kid in a place where she could interact with nature. Busan was known for its beaches and mountains, unlike in Seoul where you would only be surrounded by tall buildings and hustlers.

Your kid shouldn't be in a stressful city at a very young age. Jeongguk knew this too, this was why you couldn't understand why he wanted to buy a house in Seoul.

"No, it's not." Jeongguk was still pouting while shaking his head. "You're a corporate lawyer and most businesses operate in Seoul. You barely have clients here."

He was right.

"Besides, Red wants to form a partnership with you. You know it's a good offer..."

You stayed quiet for a while, only biting your lower lip because you were aware that he made a point—a good point. But then again, you also knew that he wasn't saying these things for the advancement of your career.

He only wanted to go back to Seoul because "you want Chae-won to be close to Beomgyu, right?"

Chae-won. This was the name of your four year-old daughter. Chae meant color while won meant beginning.

You and Jeongguk thought that the name suited your daughter since Chae-won was made out of love, and love in your world signified the time you began to see the pretty hues.

"W-Well yeah..." Jeongguk was stuttering, trying so hard to find an excuse. "B-But it's also because I miss city life! I miss our friends! Don't you miss Jimin-hyung? Seokjin-hyung? Red?"

Jeongguk mentioned the Kim couple as if he was implying something. Admittedly, he had been trying to include them in literally every conversation you two were having, and the reason behind this was because of Beomgyu, the first born of Seokjin and Red.

Beomgyu and Chae-won were born in the same year. The former being three months older than your daughter. The two of them only met once since the Kims lived in Seoul—which was also the sole reason why Jeongguk wanted to move back to the capital in the first place.

Chae-won and Beomgyu met two weeks ago, meaning it had also been fourteen days since your daughter started seeing colors.

You could never forget that day.

Chae-won came crying to her father, hugging his left leg as if her life depended on it.

"B-Baby...what's wrong?" Jeongguk's face was pale. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes.

He had always been like this. Jeongguk would cry when he saw his loved ones crying too.

"Appa! My eyes!" Chae-won used her free hand to rub her eye. She was doing it vigorously, as if she wanted to get rid of it.

"What happened to your eyes, my love?" You kneeled beside your daughter, stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her down.

It was obvious that your husband was losing his shit. At least one of you should try to stay calm, right?

"I-It's too bright, Mam..." Beomgyu was the one who answered on behalf of Chae-won.

You switched your gaze at Beomgyu, amazed because of how respectful he was. He was the only kid who called you Mam.

"Oh, my God..." Red suddenly gasped, covering her mouth when she realized something.

"D-Do you think they're..." Seokjin's wife stared at you, eyes widening as she trailed off.

"They're what?" Mr. Kim raised a brow, looking at his son and Chae-won.

"Soulmates?" Jeongguk supplied, unsure.

The four of you remained quiet. The only sounds that could be heard were Chae-won's sobs and Beomgyu's ragged breathing.

The four year-old boy didn't understand why his heart hurt so much just because Chae-won was crying. He wanted to wipe her tears away.

"Jeongguk..." You were the one who broke the silence. You glared at your husband because you felt like he just uttered the most absurd thing ever.

Sure, Jeongguk became a romantic when he finally accepted the idea of soulmates, but...wasn't he being a little too much?

Chae-won and Beomgyu were still young.

"I mean...it's a possibility, right? Chae-won started to cry when I told her to go play with Beomgyu." Jeongguk said, squatting to carry his baby girl.

You stood up, feeling a little uncomfortable with your position.

The six of you were inside the Kims' mansion. Red and Seokjin invited your family for dinner when they learned that you were in Seoul to attend Ji-eun's birthday party.

Actually, you would be staying here in Seoul for three days because Namjoon said he couldn't plan his daughter's birthday on his own. Even after four years, Namjoon was still chaotic as ever.

He refused to date, already happy with his life with Ji-eun.

"So are you saying that the world is so small that the daughter of my ex and my husband's former lawyer is the soulmate of my son?" Red chuckled, amused.

She wasn't sure whether to side with Jeongguk or not. But then again, they just couldn't ignore the mentioned possibility.

Fate always had its way of confusing the shit out of people.

"We can bring them to a doctor, if you want..." Seokjin blurted out, pulling Red closer to him as he patted his son's head.

Beomgyu was still staring at Chae-won, contemplating whether he should embrace her or wipe her tears away.

In the end, the little boy chose the former option, causing Jeonguk's heart to swell with so much happiness.

His happiness turned into joy when later that day, they found out that the kids were really soulmates.

"Of course I miss our friends," you finally answered Jeongguk's question after remembering what happened at the Kims' mansion two weeks ago.

"But I'm happy here, babe. Chae-won's friends are here. Her life is here. You know how much she likes visiting her grandparents whenever she pleases. She's born here, Gukkie."

Jeongguk bit his lower lip. He was the one who couldn't answer now. You made a point too.

"I say we let her decide where she wants to live. Chae-won is smart. She will know what her heart truly desires. Besides..." You went near Jeongguk, wrapping your hands around his neck.

He instantly encircled his arms around your waist, pulling you closer.

"Our daughter is still young. Let her be a kid, babe. We can't force her to seek romantic love just because she found her soulmate,"

Jeongguk looked sad, his lips trembling.

"I-I know that..." He heaved a deep sigh. "I guess I'm just scared. I don't want Chae-won to go through the pain you had experienced because of me. I met you a little late, love. I don't think I can handle seeing our daughter cry because her soulmate is in love with someone else..."

"Oh, Gukkie..." You nuzzled his nose, kissing his cheek.

Jeongguk was left craving for more, and so he placed a kiss on your sweet lips.

"Chae-won and Beomgyu are meant to be together. I'm sure fate will find a way to bring them together..."

"Just like what happened between you and me?" Your husband's eyes were wide and sparkling, like he was seeking your approval.

"Yeah, maybe even better. Maybe Beomgyu will love our precious baby more than we love her..."

"But I am the one who loves Chae-won the most!"

You chuckled because Jeongguk looked so adorable, like he was competing with a four year-old kid.

Typical Jeongguk.

"I know. I love you..."

"I love you too." Jeongguk smiled, kissing you once more. "And I'm so glad you're my soulmate..."

MORE JJK FICS WRITTEN BY ME: EUPHORIA or check MASTERLIST

[arwenkenobi48]

The PDF That Saved My Life - Why I Love “All Tomorrows” With All My Heart

(Content Warning: Discussions of trauma, suicidal ideation and sexual abuse)

*clears throat* So, as some of you may be aware, the past few weeks haven’t been easy, not in the least. I was struggling with serious suicidal urges and feeling extreme anguish towards my own body and soul. I believed myself to be tainted, filthy and all manner of destructive and negative things.

The reason behind this breakdown was due to the realisation that I had experienced sexual harassment and assault multiple times throughout my life, including an occasion last year in which I was groped by an immediate relative. I had been aware of the incident since it happened, but was in denial. I was thinking “It couldn’t have been that bad, right?” But after trying unsuccessfully to repress it, I had to face the facts that she did what she did. I was heartbroken and I’m still deeply saddened by the realisation. Everything just seemed to fall apart and I psychologically imploded, plummeting into a dark pit of worthlessness and childlike sorrow. I felt as if I had been thrown into a mental oubliette; just tossed away and forgotten about on every level. Whenever I wasn’t bawling my eyes out and grieving my lost innocence, I was stress-eating and lying in bed, feeling nothing. Every now and then, I’d receive a short burst of energy, but nothing substantial, and the feelings remained.

Despite all of that, though, I didn’t want to die. A small part of my mind wanted to hold on and ride out these waves of suicidal thoughts. But I also knew I shouldn’t have to be going through this cycle of building up and breaking down, so I finally managed to seek professional help. There’s another thing that also pushed me towards seeking help and eventually guided me out of this dark place, and that’s the work of science fiction I mentioned in the title. All Tomorrows by C. M. Koseman (I hope I’ve spelled that right).

I don’t remember exactly how I came across it, but I think it was the video by Alt Shift X on YouTube that did it. As you can imagine, my dark thoughts weren’t only directed towards myself, but the world at large. I was wondering how life could be so cruel as to let something so horrific happen to me. I saw the thumbnail of that video and I didn’t know what it was. I had vaguely heard of All Tomorrows, but was more familiar with the much more nihilistic Dougal Dixon book Man After Man, and as such I got the two confused. I clicked on the All Tomorrows video, barely paying much attention and dismissively thinking: “oh great another sci-fi dystopia that predicted humanity’s inevitable downfall”.

What that video showed me absolutely blew my mind. As I discovered C. M. Koseman’s intricate worldbuilding science fiction project, I became fascinated and enthralled by the journeys and evolutions of the various post-human species, from the fun-loving Satyriacs and the mellowed out Snake People, to the bloodthirsty Killer Folk and the horrifying Bone Crushers. Yes, many of the stories were very, very sad. The Mantelopes lost everything and devolved because intelligence was so painful. The Striders, Titans and Temptors were all wiped out before they had the chance to truly reach their full potential. The Qu and Gravitals, one could say, ruined everything. But what truly amazed me was the fact that many, many of these stories also contained great happiness.

The Colonials, for example, suffered through the kind of torture that I wouldn’t wish on the Devil himself. Being wedged together into a wall of flesh bricks, all while retaining intelligence. And yet, they managed to turn into the beautiful Modular People and create a utopian society. Yes, the Killer Folk are traditionally violent, but the ones that made the biggest progress were the ones that chose peace over war. The Satyriacs started off as the mindless Hedonists, but were able to use their intelligence to appreciate every moment of their joyful lives. The lowly Worms became the comfort-loving Snake People, always able to appreciate the little things in life. The flattened Lopsiders rose up from the ground and became the proud, tall Asymmetric People. The list goes on, but you get my point.

The point is, even though this future humanity went through the sort of Hell that makes the past few years look tame by comparison, they always managed to rise up. Sure, nothing was ever quite the same again, but they managed to make something new and wonderful out of that. When you cut an orange, you may not have a whole fruit anymore, but you have lots of slices that can be shared with everyone. The best thing you can do is move forward. The future will always hold something better for you, even if that seems impossible. Don’t be afraid to reach for it. The final quote of this incredible piece of sci-fi wiped away the remnants of dark still clinging to me: “Love today and seize all tomorrows.” To me, that meant “Be a kind soul and you can achieve anything.”

This entire story ignited a strong feeling of empathy within me; an emotion I thought I was too traumatised to ever properly feel or express again. I think that was the point. Sure, the many strange post-humans may not look like us, but we cannot deny that they are human and that brings out the best in us. We shouldn’t be afraid to show empathy for our fellow humans. Thinking lowly of what collectively proves to be our best quality, claiming we’re “above” it and aiming to become “bigger than” everything else deprives us of our humanity. Empathy, compassion, love, that’s what makes us truly powerful. If we can learn to love today, the utopian future we all dream of will finally be ours.

Love is something that, from an early age and for over half my life, I was never truly given. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give it to others. Just as the post-humans were able to move forward and rise from the ashes, I fully intend to do the same. I’m safe now. The people who hurt me are gone from my life and will never hurt me again. I’m surrounded by loving friends, in a city I love, attending a university I love, receiving the therapy I need to heal and soon to be medically transitioning too. Even though I still struggle to accept it, I’m learning to love myself as well. I think that’s the greatest love someone can ever feel. If I continue to love each today that comes, all the tomorrows will be brighter and brighter.

And to think this all started because of a PDF about the hypothetical future of humanity. I’m determined to hold on no matter what. Idk if C. M. Koseman uses tumblr or any other social media for that matter, but if he comes across this somehow, I just want to say “Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn’t be here today without All Tomorrows.”

https://youtu.be/-WIk29qtrIo

(PS: I know I have stumbled and made mistakes on my platform as well. I’m still a little bit unsteady after being in such a dark mental state for so long. I’m sorry about that. I am doing better. Thank you all if you made it this far. I love and appreciate every single one of you.)