#(i play warlock so i didn't bring him with me..!)

[ejunkiet]

Finally finished baldur's gate three..........

End game spoilers beneath the cut! 😭

OF COURSE I ENDED THE GAME WITH KARLACH

I've cried TWICE during this game, and they were both because of Karlach's damn dialogue - I am still emotional omg. There was no way Tav was leaving her like that on that pier.

it's very on brand for my character to leave behind two love interests for his best friend. honestly, a mood.

Jesus. KARLACH. I'm still not okay.

[star-boi0720]

Giant lore dump here, basically they're the seven deadly sins, in my version to become one you commit an act to break a seal that Irene made to contain the devil within and their punishment is to become the new host for said devils. so I'm gonna go person by person and explain how they became a sinner

(the concepts aren't complete, still needs work but I just want to have it written down)

Aaron-Wrath, has a similar backstory to the OG, but I added a thing I remembered from Emerald Secret of the Utltimas backstory (this was solely from my memory and might not be exact) and took Zane out of the equation, basically Aaron had a hobby of hunting and he without knowing killed this holy wolf that Irene created, and as a punishment he was combined with it and in the foggy haze of his transformation he murdered his whole village and his family.

Lucinda-Gluttony, Her hunger for knowledge killed her best friend(/ maybe girlfriend aka Sasha don't 100% know yet) and sealed away her mother to the cursed forest. Hyria used to have like a coven/school for witches she made after Irene left. Lucinda was a prodigy and wanted to just keep learning to the point she was so desperate she stole a book her mother told her never to even touch (which had sin inside and was trusted to hyria by Irene) which made Lucinda's magic go crazy and destroy the school and seal her mom away and kill Sasha.

Travis-Lust, so his mom dies to seal his dad away all that's the same but Travis is just super lonely right, but then a girl comes to visit him and he eventually falls in love with her but she actually is a member of his fathers cult to break him free and Travis is so obsessed with her he doesn't notice, and before he can stop her fully she partially freed him and travis in the struggle to stop her he kills her and breaks his mothers necklace(which had lust inside) but right after he kills her a bunch of villagers burst into the chamber the demon warlock was locked in and it looks like Travis just sacrificed some girl to his father and they try to kill him so Travis hides deep in the mountains

Katelyn-Envy, her entire life in her village of dragons she was treated as lesser compared to her brothers Kayden and Cain cause she wasn't as strong as them and she pushed herself but wasn't enough, her jealousy boiled over and in a fight with her brother Kameron she broke a statue that had the sin inside she didn't kill him but burned him beyond recovery

Garroth- Pride, He was the cocky prince troupe kinda like Hercules from the Disney movie and he liked to play hero, and vylad always went with him like Garroth's little sidekick. but one day they came against a monster they couldn't beat and Garroth refused to back down and in which the monster which was a huge lion killed vylad garroth killed it but it had the sin of pride inside it Garroth returned home and when he told his mother of what happened she hid him away knowing the world would see garroth as a threat and kill him. So Evelyn(Aka Zianna I changed a lot of the parent's names cause it seemed repetitive to me, so mom is now Evelyn and the father's name is now Adam) sent Garroth to hide in Phoenix Drop and claimed the beast killed both of them.

Zane- Greed, Zane was always a good man the whole kind young priest get up. but after the sudden deaths of his brothers, his faith was shaken, and in a desperate attempt to bring them back he began to research black magic and corrupted his mind and he opened a box deep in the catacombs of Okasis which was Pandora's box which held the sin of greed and became and the once kind prince became a true monster.

Nana-Sloth Nana is the eldest daughter of a duke of the Tula Kingdom, her mother died when Nana was young and her father was very heartless about it, like had a new wife in 2 days and all her other siblings were only her half she tried to be close to them but her father kept her away from them to the point she stopped trying after so long but on a night a raid happened she was only able to save one of her siblings her youngest Juno who was only like 7 but as she was escaping she broke a mirror that had the sin of sloth inside and possessed her and nana escaped to ruan and made her little cafe with her sister. (Nanas I don't fully like it yet but it is something ig)

So that's pretty much just some tragic mfrs sorry for any spelling mistakes

[utilitycaster]

Hope I can phrase this in a way that makes sense but—

What well-known actual-play cast member is your favorite for each of the core D&D class? Not necessarily a specific characters, but I’m interested in which players you think brings the most to each class.

This is a very interesting question! It's a hard one to answer for some classes and very easy for others so bear with me; also there are a couple where I could not pick just one.

I'm sticking to the PHB 12 for, as you said, core classes:

Barbarian: While Travis did give us "I would like to rage," I think Ashley and Taliesin get to share this one for me. I think they both really explore what rage means to someone and while I love a good "I'm a tank because I can take the hits and that's what I do and what I'm good at" story, I also think Yasha's messy relationship with her feelings of guilt and grief, and Ashton's chronic pain, are both incredible ways to play with the barbarian archetype.

Bard: much easier. Sam Riegel and Krystina Arielle. I'm a sucker for someone who actually sings even as I don't think you have to (and have played bard without doing so). It's both clearly a class they each love dearly and it shows, and they're incredibly musically talented performers to boot.

Cleric: Lou Wilson. Especially since I didn't like Fantasy High season 1 Fabian until the end of the season Kingston blew me away. I would love to see him explore cleric again, though it's exciting to see him as a paladin on WBN.

Druid: Emily Axford as Moonshine. Emily as a rule understands D&D classes very well anyway, but I think the culture of the crick and the ways that Moonshine must grow as a character while being a druid take it to the next level. (Also I prefer a caster-heavy druid to a shapechanger-heavy one; that's just me).

Fighter: Back to NADDPod because literally who could I say other than Jake Hurwitz, the man who only plays fighters. People who are new to D&D when they start actual play can be hit or miss imo; some pick it up and some lean harder on being showy to make up for it and it doesn't play well for me personally, but Jake is the greatest hit.

Monk: Marisha Ray; Beau is just generally a great character, and I think Marisha's own experience with martial arts informs the way she plays her; monks can be kind of repetitive in combat even with strong players and she manages to avoid this through her description.

Paladin: This is actually super hard because people don't play straight paladin a lot. This is incorrect of them, but it is an intense class. I think Luis Carazo and Zac Oyama are like...the duality of paladin (and indeed, redemption paladin). The tragedy and the comedy.

Ranger: Laura Bailey, natch; it's funny because Vex is in many ways not the archetypal ranger due to having high charisma, but she is simply my favorite and that's that on that. Sorry the mechanics were so bad; I would love to see more rangers in D&D even though Vex will be hard to dethrone. I promise Tasha's fixed them!

Rogue: I think I'm actually going Murph on this one. I like when rogues are more of the detective/spy type than the assassin/criminal type [obligatory "of course that's what you'd say you stupid paladin stan"] and inquisitive and arcane trickster are probably my two top rogue classes so Riz it is.

Sorcerer: I do consider PF1e cheating here because it's technically a different system that also imo addresses a lot of the weaknesses of sorcerer/makes it way better, but Bryn Monroe of RQG did play a great sorcerer. In D&D? Giving Emily Axford a second spot here for Saccharina. I'm going to talk about this for warlock, but I think sorcerer is a class you don't have to justify but if you don't it's a little unsatisfying. Sorcerer really shines in the Crown of Candy setting, and metamagic often doesn't live up to its reputation but Emily makes it work for her.

Warlock: Travis Willingham. I think there are classes that are kind of self-explanatory, for lack of a better term; you can play a fighter or rogue or even a bard or druid without going super deep into why the character is this class and still be an incredible character (though a good backstory never hurts). But there are others where you really need to be engaging with the class at all times to make it work, and warlock is one of them, and Fjord explores the warlock pact and what it means like few others.

Wizard: Aabria Iyengar. NO ONE gets wizard hubris as a player like Aabria. Knowledge is power and boy do wizards love knowledge. I especially like that most people in 5e play wizards as genuine adventurers because it feels very easy to play them as old guy in robes swept up in events beyond them; Aabria plays wizards who are combat ready with the humanity and backstory to make the difficult decisions sympathetic and meaningful, and I think that's how you have to play it.

Note: I want to specifically call out Liam O'Brien and Siobhan Thompson as "people I trust in basically any class or system and just didn't happen to hit a favorite here due to sky-high competition/personal preferences". They are both very close seconds for wizard.

[stardusted-bookworm]

I love soft domesticity, especially in fandom spaces. I can't help it. Especially when characters who have been through so much deserve their small slices of happiness with the person/people they love.

I like the idea of Caleb leaving a mug of tea and dinner out for Essek just in the hopes that Essek would stop by as a reprieve from being on the run. I like the idea of Essek covering Caleb with a blanket when he finds him asleep on his desk after a long night of research.

I like the idea of Imogen and Laudna settling down in a cottage far from those who know them, but still keeping in touch with the Hells, where they're free to be themselves with minimal staring and witch hunts. I like the idea of Imogen smiling with her arms wrapped around Laudna as the warlock-sorceress talks excitedly with Paté about her new craft project.

I like the idea of an alternate universe where Keyleth didn't have to be separated from Vax by the machinations of higher powers. Where she could share the leading of her people with one of her favorite people. Where she can walk with him hand in hand and share the changing seasons and watch cherry blossoms dance in the wind.

I like the idea that Crowley and Aziraphale fight to be by each other's side in the end where they can lead wonderfully human lives. Where Aziraphale can keep closing the bookshop whenever he wants so that he and his partner may delight in each other's company without interruption. Where Crowley can curl around Aziraphale and be comforted by the sound of his partner breathing and reading.

I may not have read The Chalice of the Gods yet, but I like to believe in the idea of Percy Jackson leading as peaceful a life in New Rome with Annabeth as he can, pursuing his studies and carving a home that he's earned the right to carve after years of dangerous quests. I like the idea that Annabeth and him study side by side as midterms and finals come up, bantering and play-wrestling when either one of them needs a break. Annabeth always wins ofc ;)

I like soft domesticity. There is so much pain and suffering in the world that if I can, even for a moment, bring peace and happiness to the characters that have brought me nothing but comfort, then I will.

[misojunnie]

can i request this?

https://www.tumblr.com/misojunnie/728375539407159296/i-find-the-vampire-and-werewolf-rivalry-dynamic

but instead of vampires it's witch/warlock/wizard please?

☆ &team as your werewolf bf! w/ a witch (or warlock) partner :)

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

byun eui joo - ej

is very unserious about you being a witch

when you finally confessed his first question was to ask if you could cast a spell on him that gave him super strength

he's so easy going n sweet :( got very quickly acclimated to the magical door slamming, floating pots and pans, etc

"honey, next time you summon a goetic demon, can you please make sure he's gone by dinnertime?"

murata fuma - fuma

quite surprised you were a witch; probably made an awful pun to cover up his shock

will easily lay his life down to protect you from the people who are prejudiced against you, even if its a fellow werewolf

you love your man <3 someone tried to jump him once and you cursed them for all of eternity

"can you do the dishes tonight? and please don't bring them to life on accident again."

koga yudai- k

tried to scare you away with garlic when he found out, and you had to tell him that only works on vampires

despite his initial shock, he quickly got accustomed to your habits

read the entire wikipedia page on witches so he'd be "well informed of all your needs"

makes an awful witch themed pun at least once a week, ex: "witch, please."

wang yixiang- nicholas

found out you were a witch like a week before you broke the news

^ secretly peeked into your bedroom one time and saw you curling your hair with a levitating curling iron, but decided to say nothing until you were ready

hates it when you put spells on him, eg; "I'm leaving, and if you even try to immobilize me, y/n, I swear to god-"

has asked you to curse ta-ki more than once or twice

nakakita yuma - yuma

he thinks it's hot

asks you to put spells on him so he can walk on the ceiling, which you continually tell him don't exist

tried to prank you once and you used magic to throw him through six layers of drywall on instinct

safe to say he hasn't tried to prank you since

asakura jo - jo

didn't even believe you at first, his first reply was "oh, really? then where's your big hat?"

it took you a week to convince him that it wasn't a prank, and he only believed you after you sent him through space and time

always takes care of you after you exhaust yourself from casting too many spells

found out you were ironically terrified of the conjuring and still makes fun of you for it

shigeta harua - harua

was shocked at first, but quickly came around when he realized how wonderful your magic could be

always wants to hear witch lore and all the stories about your covens and history

was suspicious you put a love spell on him but eventually realized that he just loves you a lot. damn.

hates when you make him clean because he knows you could easily do it with magic

ta-ki

poor baby went into actual shock when you told him you were a witch, but he had no complaints

genuinely had no idea that witches existed

"wait, so do you have warts and stuff? no judgement."

is still amazed every time you do a spell, even years later

hirota riki - maki

his only knowledge of witches comes from playing minecraft

"so wait, you don't live in a hut? not even a swamp?"

when he gets too hyper you cast a spell on him that glues him to the wall or something (comes in handy when you need to study)

asks you to summon demons just to do his homework

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

a/n: sorry for this super late reply! I have very little knowledge of witches so I hope I did this request justice ;-; this was sooo fun

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! I feel like in a lot of fics Crowley will casually flirt with Aziraphale (before they're together) making him flustered and i wondered if you knew of any fics where it's the opposite? Like where Aziraphale will casually just flirt with Crowley? I'd just like some confident Aziraphale and some flustered Crowley tbh. It could be any rating ^_^

Thanks in advance!!!

Hello. We have a plentiful #flustered crowley tag that you should check out for more fics like this. Here are some more to add to the collection...

Strawberry Meringues by heldtogetherwithstring (G)

Aziraphale and Crowley finally have their picnic, during which they discuss the invention of meringues and the discovery of honey. The St James Park duck population watches in approval, but neither they nor Crowley could have predicted what Aziraphale's next move would be. OR Aziraphale and Crowley have been pining for so long and Azirphale decides enough is enough.

Sunk On You by Ambra_Sue (T)

When Crowley had to bring his nephew Adam to swimming lessons, he didn't expect to sink quite so fast for the hot, blond swim teacher.

The Burning of Sulphur (Reminds me I'm Home) by Fizzy25 (T)

Crowley wonders if this is what he was made for. If he was made to only admire Aziraphale. If every moment in his life, the stars, the fall, the apple, was only a prelude to this singular moment. He wonders if there will never be anymore to them. Crowley hopes that he will be content with this. In which Crowley is a lovesick, touched-starved occult being who is too in love with Aziraphale to do anything but stare.

Ice to Meet You (Dutch Waltz Into My Heart) by BooknerdMiss (G)

Crowley takes (read: is dragged by) his nephew Warlock to a professional sporting event that he's less-than-thrilled about. Lucky for him, he gets to sit by an angel.

Extraordinary Amounts of Alcohol by AppleSeeds (T)

Crowley gets extremely drunk and stumbles into Aziraphale's bedroom, mistaking it for the bathroom. Crowley doesn't remember much of what happened or anything about his drunken confessions, but Aziraphale does... He just needs to work out whether Crowley really meant what he said or whether it was just alcohol-induced rambling, and what better way to find out than to see how Crowley responds to a bit of subtle, and slightly less than subtle, flirting?

at the airport terminal by bearwonder (E)

Crowley has worked the same soulless job for two decades, and he hasn't had anyone to talk to since his pet snake died a couple years ago. When Industrial Holdings (Holdings) PLC sends him to their annual conference in the US, he expects a week of mind-numbing boredom bookended by two torturous half-days spent in airplanes. But as fate would have it, an embarrassing mishap leads him to meet an unrelentingly positive flight attendant who smiles at him like he's a real human being, and makes him think that maybe, if he plays this right, he won’t have to die alone.

- Mod D

[tragedybunny]

Fangs and Fairytales - Chapter 4

༺Summary༻

The Netherbrain has fallen and Baldur's Gate has been saved. Excited about their new life together, Astarion and Serafina, a warlock who’s past remains hidden, journey to find a way for him to walk in the sun again. But there is no easy path to happiness and even Sera's own patron blocks their way. Together, they can face it all and find their own happily ever after.

Chapter 3: Astarion has an amorous plan to fix Sera's melancholy, it gets a little delayed by an encounter with a peculiar bard.

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Serafina (Female Tav/OC)

༺Rating༻ Mature

༺Warnings༻ Light bondage, anal play, vaginal sex

༺Word Count༻ 4114

༺A/N༻

Hello Lovelies!

This is the smutty chapter. Takes a bit to get there, but I promise the second half is steamy.

Many and eternal thanks to @icybluepenguin for betaing and always encouraging me!

Also, if you recognize a certain bard and his ballad in this chapter - he's on loan from my dear friend @snowfolly If you don't recognize him, please check out Endlessly, one of my fave fics.

Read on AO3

All chapters here on Tumblr

The camp was in high spirits tonight and buzzing with activity. They'd turned the courtyard and upper floor into some sort of communal festival, all because some ostensibly famous bard had come to play there in an act of “charity” that Astarion found gratingly self-aggrandizing. 

The cheery mood and sense of community had even led the denizens to give the camp a proper name, erasing its last ties to Shar.

“Selûne’s Embrace.” He couldn't think of it without disdain. He wanted to be done with gods, and couldn't fathom why everyone else still would cling to them, Dame Aylin excepted.

The bard’s distraction served his purpose though, so he couldn't complain too much. The event kept Sera distracted while he made preparations for a very special night. He'd left a note before trancing telling her to go enjoy herself and he'd be along later, there were some things he wanted to do.

He shut the door to their private cave hideaway with a satisfied smile. Everything was perfectly set, including the items he’d snuck off to the night market in the Wide to procure. Now to fetch his beloved. 

Sera had seemed back in high spirits the last couple of days. They'd started making preparations to travel and Astarion had to admit, he felt more hopeful as well. He still wasn't happy about losing the sun, but seeing Sera smile after that terrible night made even the light of day seem less important. They'd leave in a couple more days after dinner with Duke Ravengard.

The night crowds were thicker tonight, swarming to the surface, bringing along a tide of food and drink for the revelry. Astarion weaved through them with dexterity, avoiding any brushes against his skin that would reveal it as too cold, and any lingering looks that would expose anyone to his too red eyes. 

He glanced down at his fingertips– his nails had become much more claw-like without the tadpole and, though not as animalistic as they once had been, they still required much more attention. Thankfully, the glowing eyes and maw full of jagged teeth had not also returned, those would be much harder to hide. He had a theory that being well-fed had something to do with it. An idea he could possibly discuss with Dal at some point, but for now he’d simply be thankful.

Thus far, they’d managed to keep his nature to whispered rumor, and no one really wanted to force the issue and confirm they were sharing quarters with a vampire. Especially since this particular vampire was the partner of the hero of Baldur’s Gate. It would seem Sera was still his great protector.

And that thought didn't have the sting it used to. They were rather good at protecting each other. 

Astarion’s thoughts were interrupted as he exited the stairs onto the ground floor and the notes of a song reached his ears. His jaw tightened and his teeth ground together. “That fucking song…” The Golden Lyre. 

“Dark haired maiden, play it true,” a rather pleasant voice crooned from outside.

Despite the pleasantness of the voice, the lyrics were still like listening to Lae’zel sharpen her weapon for hours on end. Astarion charged outside, determined to find Sera as quickly as possible. 

“The golden lyre, I beg of you, hold my heartstrings, in your hands.” 

It wasn’t a bad song, it simply was the song; every bard knew it and would play it in every godforsaken shithole in the city. The sort of place he used to haunt. He’d heard it so often, he would find himself singing it involuntarily and recoil, cursing himself. 

“Dark haired maiden, my love, my muse.”

Down the stairs, into the courtyard, Astarion spotted the ridiculous creature, furiously plucking away at a violin, dancing about like an ungainly bird, a mane of gray hair flowing wildly around him. And of course, at the end of a table nearest this display, sat Sera, sipping from a wine glass, with a smile on her face. A smile that was a little too fond for his liking, 

“Oh my love, my muse…”

Astarion shouldered his way over to Serafina, coming up behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders in what was definitely not a possessive manner, fingers on the light blue fabric of her dress. “Hello darling.” 

If her smile for the bard seemed fond, for him it was radiant adoration. “There you are. Done with your business for the evening?”

Astarion suppressed a smile, thinking of what awaited her in their cave sanctuary. “Indeed. In fact, part of it was a surprise for you. Shall we away?” he purred at her. 

“You’re such a tease. I’m dying of curiosity now.” 

He gave Sera his hand and helped her from her seat, ready to whisk her away from the scene and the hells-damned song when the music abruptly ended. The crowd started to applause raucously and Astarion attempted to make their exit before another song that would remind him of his lowest days started. Who knew what else was in the bard’s repertoire; The Wilting Rose, Summer’s Sweetest Wine? They all made him shudder. 

He’d gotten maybe two steps when the bard’s melodious voice called out behind him. “Corellon fucking wept… Serafina?”

At his side, Sera froze, eyes going wide with a look of terror he hadn’t seen since Cazador had bound him into the ritual. Astarion felt himself tense as well; from what he understood of the warlock pact, no one in Baldur’s Gate should recognize Sera. They gave one another a look and Astarion released her hand to wrap his fingers around the dagger always at his side. 

“It is you! Don’t you recognize me, it’s Tali?” The tiny elf – moon, if Astarion was any judge – flailed his arms about, jeweled rings catching the fire light and a fine scarlet coat swaying with the effort. 

“H-how? You shouldn’t be able to…” Sera stared at him in wonder. 

“Exactly.” Astarion gripped his dagger tighter. Had her family somehow found her? Was this their agent? 

Through the vaguest of conversations and some deduction on his part, he'd been able to put together that Sera had accepted a warlock pact with Titania, Fey Queen of the Summer Court to escape an awful family. Said family were almost certainly Patriars here in Baldur’s Gate. Sera had tried to disguise that noble bearing she’d been taught since birth, but he'd seen his share of nobles and rabble. There was no way she was anything but the former. And that was all he was allowed to know, lest the magic that hid her shatter. 

Tali’s eyes went wide as he caught sight of Astarion’s hand at his weapon. “Hells, call off your attack vampire!” 

The last word was so loud that the crowd started to look their way. Though there had been talk, they had worked hard to keep Astarion’s nature as secret as possible. That effort looked to be going up in flames. All because of… whoever the hell this Tali was. 

“Why you–” Astarion began to draw the dagger from its sheath, causing Tali to  back away. 

The sound of Sera’s laughter caused them both to freeze. 

“The two of you are ridiculous, you know that.” Sera turned and gave Astarion a quick hug and peck on the cheek. “He’s an old friend.” 

“One that is now extremely worried about you, I might add!” The bard fell into a sulk. 

“Could you give us a minute?” Sera asked, barely waiting for Astarion’s nod before dragging Tali off by his hand. 

Astarion sighed and tried to bury the frustration of the delay to his romantic plans. Slinking off, he disappeared into the shadows, the attention of the crowd having diminished without their entertainment present. 

Crossing his arms, he leaned against the wall, definitely not annoyed with the delay. Agonizing minutes passed as he waited, his fingers tapping against his arm and a fang worrying his bottom lip. Finally, Sera returned without the unwanted company in tow. 

He was already preening for the crowd, readying for another performance. Astarion doubted he could know what had passed between them but at least she didn’t look troubled by it. He held out his arm until she hooked hers through it, giving him a reassuring look, and they started back inside.

“He’s a friend, a friend that seems to have some immunity to Titania’s glamour. It’s fine though,” she answered the question he hadn’t asked.

“Oh so this random bard–”

“Taliesin. Honestly I’m surprised you don’t recognize him, he’s quite famous. He wrote the Golden Lyre.” 

Astarion pretended that did not make his blood boil further. Of course the foppish creature wrote that damned song. “Whatever. He’s allowed around Her Majesty’s spell, but I, the love of your life, am not.” 

Sere halted their progress, turning to shoot him a look. “Astarion, you know that’s not how it works. She can’t just make exceptions.” 

“I know she despises me. And she clearly can make exceptions.” 

Sera sighed and started walking again. “You’re being impossible.” 

Astarion followed, now being pulled along by Sera, despite being a head shorter than him, and slightly built. “Don’t act like it’s not true,” he groused. 

“So you're telling me that all a Fey Queen wanted from you for all this power was a child. How very… cliché.” Astarion was setting up a simple trip wire around their camp. They’d just dealt with a pack of gnolls and didn’t need any more surprises for the night. 

“It's not that simple,” Sera answered from where she stood watch behind him, scanning the horizon for any more danger. “She wants a lineage to serve her, my family line.” 

“And you agreed to that? Was life at home really that bad?” Nothing to compare to his, he was sure. 

The night sky over the Risen Road was turning the brilliant colors of twilight as the first stars appeared.  Astarion had agreed to help with security measures and immediately asked Sera to be his look-out. A chance to spend a little more time with her and “strengthen” their bond. They were on their way to the Githyanki crèche, and perhaps a way to be rid of these worms. He needed to ensure his hold on their warlock leader was as tight as possible. Without the tadpole he might well be entirely dependent on her. 

Oddly, the last couple of nights they hadn’t done much more than chat pleasantly by the fire and share a few kisses. Not for lack of trying on his part. Leading to his desperately attempting to ignore the creeping dread that his protector was losing interest in him, and his mouth was running without much thought. 

Audibly, she inhaled. “If only I could tell you.” 

Astarion felt an awful weight in his stomach, the feeling of knowing he'd screwed up. Only it was disturbingly not like when he'd misstepped in front of Cazador. That was fear of reprisal, of one of his master's many punishments. 

This was… he didn't know exactly. He just didn't like being the cause of any distress to her. “I– no, I should trust you on it. Although I have to say, she'll probably be disappointed if you keep carrying on with a vampire,” he finished with an awkward laugh and was glad she couldn’t see him cringing at himself. 

At least the trip wire was done. No explosions, only noise if something tried to cross into their camp. He stood up, shaking off the clumsy exchange. “There, no gnolls in camp this night.” 

“My hero,” Sera gave him a playful smile and headed back toward the cluster of tents. 

The smile soothed his nerves and he made to follow her when a voice whispered in his ear. 

“Watch how you go, Spawn, I won’t tolerate disappointment in my bargains.” 

That had been the only time he’d heard the voice of Titania, but the threat had remained with him, her distaste for him extremely clear. 

“It doesn't matter. And stop being jealous,” she scolded, and Astarion almost groaned in frustration. 

This night was rapidly spiraling out of his control. 

Letting go of her arm, he pulled her closer to him by her waist. Leaning down to purr into her ear,  “Of course my love, let's not spoil the evening. Not when I have such delicious plans for it.”

He was rewarded with a little shiver and smirked to himself. Oh, how he’d come to know her and what made her body respond. And the love they shared made using his considerable experience something he no longer reviled. For the most part– sometimes the skeletons of the past decided to venture outside the shadowy corner of his mind where he kept them. 

The crowd and the noise faded as he led Sera back toward their quarters. The steady increase of her pulse echoed in his ears, and the scent of her arousal filled the air, more alluring than any perfume. Tonight was safely on its way back to being a success. 

When they reached their room, Astarion swiftly shut the door behind him and locked it. No well-meaning visitors to interrupt them tonight. 

Sera turned to face him, eyes heavy-lidded and pupils wide with desire. “What did you want to show me?” 

“It’s in the cave. But first, take off your clothes.” The words were firm, an order, and he watched her swallow hard. 

For his part, Astarion could give or take control with equal pleasure, but Sera, with the rare exception, desired to relinquish it to another. Which made taking it all the more pleasurable for him. 

“I–” Sera started. 

“Shh, just be a good girl and do as you're told.” 

Her skin flushed a deep pink but she wordlessly moved to obey, already sliding into that space in her mind where thought gave way to feeling and reason to desire; the world ceasing to exist outside the two of them. 

When she was freed from her dress, Astarion– still clothed himself– took her hand, careful to not touch any other part of her, and lead her toward the door to their private refuge. “Go on,” he prompted, letting her enter first. 

He didn’t need to see her expression, the ragged, gasping breath she took told him everything he needed to know. The old Sharran rug had been discarded, and a newer plush one was laid down in its place. Currently, a bedroll had been laid over the top of it for extra comfort. And at each corner of the bedroll, attached to a stake driven into the ground, a leather restraint. Nearby was a small box, open to display an assortment of other toys should the night call for them. 

Astarion wrapped his hands possessively around Sera’s waist and leaned to down to speak in a low, throaty voice. “You see, my love, I think I finally understand your problem from the other night. You simply have too many thoughts inside that pretty little head of yours. So I’m going to fuck every last one of them out of it.” 

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the blindfold that had been waiting there and slipped it over her eyes. As he did, each breath came more rapidly despite her stillness, like a rabbit frozen in the path of a predator. “And you are going to lay there, and not say a word while I do it. Just make all those lovely little sounds of yours for me.” 

Guiding her toward the bedroll, he laid her down on it, the soft light of the moon from the opening above them bathing her in an ethereal glow. Even without her sight, she obeyed him with perfect trust, following his commands without falter. She gave over each of her limbs to be secured into the restraints until her body was spread gloriously open for him. 

Leaving her to ponder what was next, Astarion wordlessly moved away to strip himself; spending longer than necessary as he watched her chest heave with nervous breath and the minute movements she made out of anxious anticipation. He could feel himself already hardening without even touching her yet. 

Kneeling next to her, he began to skim his nails over her skin, the faintest of marks appearing in their wake. “Now, what am I to do with you, my poor overthinking, anxious love.” His touch idly circled her breasts, avoiding her stiffened, rosy nipples 

“Ast–” she gasped as his fingers closed around one of those nipples and pinched.

“Ah, I said no words, only noises. Behave or we'll have to find a way to keep you from talking.” 

Sera didn't say anything more, only panted and whined as he rolled the nipple between his fingers. 

It was actually the perfect place to start. Shifting so that he kneeled between her thighs, he rubbed the head of his cock over her slick folds and felt her try to buck into him. He gave a soft chuckle at her efforts. 

“You're not getting it quite so easily, pet.”

Not that he didn't want her desperately by now, but that would ruin the fun. And more importantly the effort he was making to give her this: a night about her pleasure only. 

He leaned forward, the scent of her - wildflowers and forests - filling his nostrils, intoxicating him. Hands resting on her shoulders, her flesh like satin under his fingers, he stilled her. 

His mouth began to water as he leaned down towards one firm nipple. Instead of latching on to suckle at it, bared fangs pieced the skin above it, withdrawing quickly to create two small streams of blood. 

Sera let out a sharp cry and he was thankful he'd thought ahead to set up here, away from their door.

With her delectable blood flowing enticingly, he wrapped his lips around her nipple and sucked. Intoxicating. 

Eyes fluttering closed, he let the taste and scent possess him.  Lazily his hips rolled, cock sliding over her clit, no relief for either of them as he drank the blood flowing from her breast like mother's milk. All the while she gasped and sighed beneath him. 

He could stay like this for hours, teasing the drips from her, not enough to drain her but enough to make his mind and stomach sing. But there was more to be tasted.

With a final lick over the wounds, he withdrew to a noise of disappointment.

“Oh don't you worry, I'm not done with you yet.” 

He’d let himself relive every wicked idea and lustful fantasy he’d had about her while planning tonight. Only some were fit for tonight's purpose, the rest he would get to in time. They had so much of it now. The fantasy enticing him would definitely serve his goal though. 

Getting up, he retrieved a toy and vial of oil from the box, placing them between her legs on the rug, making as much noise as possible. Sera adorably tried to hide her curiosity in silence but the sound of her blood did not lie. 

Coming to stand next to her head, he dropped to his knees, smirking at the intake of breath as he caught her off-guard. “Mouth open, darling, and trust me.” 

Obediently she opened wide for him, a welcoming, waiting hole. 

Very carefully, he placed his knees at her shoulders, and lowered himself over her, sliding his cock into her warm mouth. Wantonly, she moaned around him and he couldn’t stop his own answering groan. Elbows on either side of her hips he gave an experimental thrust, felt her tongue lapping at him. She was good - so, so good, sucking  from underneath him, pliant and submissive.

His hips moved again and he felt his cock twitch inside her. Not yet, he scolded himself. 

Arms wrapping around her thighs, nails digging into her soft skin just enough, he buried his face in her cunt, sodden in expectation of him. Nothing was as intoxicating as her blood, but the taste of her juices, flowing for him, was as close as one could get. Not even bothering to tease, he lavished his tongue over clit, relishing in the much-muted noises. 

It wasn’t enough though. Two of his fingers slipped into her sex, working her as his tongue continued its ministrations. His own hips picked up a rhythm, carefully fucking her mouth. 

Sera’s breath was coming in desperate gasps, the poor thing was nearing her limit. 

“You can wait a little longer, my pet, can’t you? For me?” 

The sound that answered he took for a yes. 

Sucking on two fingers from his unoccupied hand, he coated them with his saliva, and began to tease the last of her holes gently. She was tight and untried, sowith a delicate touch, he worked his way inside. 

Frantically, she lapped at the cock in her mouth, as though to plead with him for release as he fucked all her holes at once. A noise like a scream erupted from her as she shook against him. He could be merciful, he supposed. 

“Go on then, love, come for me.” To punctuate his words, he took her clit between his teeth and sucked. 

It was only moments later he felt her clench around his fingers, and a soft whimper followed. How he wanted to let go too, to spill his seed down her throat and let her taste him. Instead, he pulled his mouth from her and eyed the toy he’d left waiting. 

“Shall I ravage you properly, pet,” he teased, knowing she still couldn’t answer with words, but the thunderous melody of her heart spoke for her. His favorite sound in the whole world, that organ, beating out the song of her vitality, a real and living love. 

“But I’ve got one more treat for you. Now be patie– hgn!” Sera sucked deeply, tongue flicking over his sensitive head. “Naughty little thing,” he scolded. “I should stop right now.” 

They both knew he wouldn’t make good on that threat but still she ceased the attempt to goad him. 

Taking the vial of oil, he carefully coated the small, metal bulb in it. It was delicate work, he knew from horrible experience, but she’d been curious for some time, and was so eager for his fingers just now. The tip of the toy pressed against her and she tried to roll her hips into it. Once, he never would have bet sweet little Sera could be so wanton and needy. And it was all for him. 

Gently, he pushed it inside her, until she had taken it all. A couple of teasing pumps to keep her desperate, and he rose back to his knees, cock slipping from her mouth. 

He took a moment to admire his handiwork; drool running from her mouth, tears escaping her blindfold, her cunt swollen and dripping. 

Gods, she was beautiful.

Kneeling between her thighs, at long last, he gripped her hips, and drove into her, letting out a sigh of relief. Her warm slick squeezed him tight, eager to take all he could give. The feel of the toy inside her pressing against him added another dimension of pleasure, almost too much. 

He thrust with a desperate cadence, his mind fading into only feeling and wanting, almost the same as when he drank from her. The sounds of her pleasure were muted as though miles away. Hips slapped against skin, fingers dug bruises into her skin. 

Again he felt her, climaxing, thrashing, moaning uninhibited now. His cock twitched, gods, it was too much, and he felt himself let go. 

There was stillness and gradually the sounds of the cave penetrated the haze. Sera lay still, her breathing evening out after the exertion. Leaning down, he kissed her with all softness, his undead heart almost quickening with the raw, unbridled, affection he felt for her. 

“You did so well,” he whispered into her ear, “now let’s get you out of all this and into our bed.”

Under a mound of covers, Astarion held Sera close, as she lay with her head resting upon his chest. Idly, her fingers traced lines across his chest. Finally she made a thoughtful hum that drew him from his thoughts. “Yes, love?”

“I was thinking– if this is your treatment for melancholy– do you believe in preventive medicine?” Sera tittered giddily. 

“Oh my darling,” Astarion purred exaggeratedly, “I can most assuredly give you whatever dosage you require.” 

He tightened his arms around her and pulled her up to kiss her properly. They were so lost in the laughter that followed, Astarion barely noted the ease with which he lifted her, strength he hadn’t had before. 

Edited to add my tag list. Oops.

Tag list: @writingmysanity @snowfolly @sunfire-ancunin @vixstarria

@just-a-refrigerator @ladyofcrowsandcoffee @tallymonster @azu21

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate @spacebarbarianweird @cilil @bg3obsessedsideblog

@talentedbitch @claryvoyantfray

[juminies]

🔁 tom reblogged

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Um I just found an iphone on the street and some guy is texting it telling me to go to an apartment nearby. Might die but he's kind of hot and I'm feeling wild so

#Has anyone heard from her? I'm a little worried! #UPDATE: my friend texted me to let me know she's fine :)

📷 V following

🔁 eattherich reblogged princesshan

🔆 eattherich

it's actually insane how many fans jumin han has considering his dad is literally the chairman of a global conglomerate. do you realise how much money these people have that they could be putting to better use

🎀 princesshan follow

op doesn't realise the money is part of the appeal

🔆 eattherich follow

the money is why everyone at the top of C&R is also at the top of the 'to eat' list

#i can't even begin to form a response to prev tags #also inb4 you say something like 'j*min will be eating something else iykwim' #moving on!

anonymous asked:

if 'lordofthecattower' joins your party block them they'll throw

🧙‍♂️ supermanyoosung mutuals

Wait that's my friend T-T I know he's not great but it's ok! We all start somewhere!!!

#me and our other friend have been trying to teach him! #i didn't even know he was playing without me lololol

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Remempurr our fundraiser is tomorrow everyone! Please feel free to bring along any well behaved kitties but gentle reminder that they must be kept either within a carrier or on a leash. We would hate any accidents!

See you there!

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anyone else think that soloist that just debuted looks scarily like the president

#delete later

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It must be so hard for Zen's friends not to hit on him every time he sends them selfies T_T T_T

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Haha you flatter me but I'm mostly friends with guys!

🔁 princesshan reblogged eattherich

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it's actually insane how many fans jumin han has considering his dad is literally the chairman of a global conglomerate. do you realise how much money these people have that they could be putting to better use

🎀 princesshan follow

op doesn't realise the money is part of the appeal

#he's also insanely hot but i digress !! #...and don't quote me on this but his dad could kinda get it too 👀

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we can't decide in the gc so

#league of loneliness of life #lolol

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has anyone heard of "mint eye" I just got handed a flyer for it but it's so vague and I can't find anything online lmao. are they trying to recruit me into a cult or something

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Zen selfie from today (via an anonymous source).

[callsign-dexter]

The Sibling Connection

Summary: Now 23 and 38 the Bradshaw siblings come back to Miramar and see an old face. Feelings come up and surprises are revealed.

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, very inaccurate military talk, and timing

Masterlist

First Installment- Brotherly Love

Second Installment- The Sibling Connection

A/N: Italics mean that they are up in the air or getting ready to be up in the air.

Y/N wasn't at The Hard Deck when her brother arrived; this is due to her being fresh out of flight school and now officially a pilot. She had just been at her base in Fallon, Nevada for 3 days when she was told she would be helping out at Top Gun for a secret mission. She exceeded all of her training but then again what do you expect when you have an uncle that is the Commander of the US Pacific Fleet and taught you everything to know about flying?

When Y/N turned 18 she applied to the Naval Academy but first talked with her brother about it. He wanted her to chase her dreams and so he helped her even though he didn't get in, he wasn't gonna hold her back like Maverick did to him. He supported her the entire time. She kept him updated with everything and also Maverick too but it was mostly about her and not Bradley, per his request, and she respected that. When she told Bradley that she wanted to fly he was ecstatic, when she told him she wanted to fly the F-35B he was a little disappointed it wasn't a F/A-18E Super Hornet but didn't make her switch, they even joke about it and play fight. 

The next day when everyone showed up to class, Bradley looked around for his sister but she wasn't there and he frowned slightly. He really didn't pay attention to what was going on but he was listening.

"Attention on deck!" Someone said and everyone scooted their chairs back and stood at attention as Warlock and Cyclone. 

"Morning." Warlock said and everyone sat down "Welcome to your special training detachment. Be seated. I’m Admiral Bates, NAWDC commander. You’re all top gun graduates. The elite. The best of the best. That was yesterday. The enemy’s new fifth-generation fighter has leveled the playing field. Details are few, but you can be sure we no longer possess the technological advantage. Success, now more than ever, comes down to the man or woman in the box. Half of you will make the cut. One of you will be named mission leader. The other half will remain in reserve. Your instructor is a top gun graduate with real-world experience in every mission aspect you will be expected to master. His exploits are legendary. And he’s considered to be one of the finest pilots this program has ever produced. What he has to teach you may very well mean the difference between life and death. I give you Captain Pete Mitchell. Call sign: “Maverick.” Warlock finished as Maverick walked up the aisle and Bradley's frown deepened. 

"Good morning. The f-18 natops. It contains everything they want you to know about your aircraft. I’m assuming you know the book inside and out." Maverick said Bradley was listening but wasn't happy about Maverick teaching him. Oh how he wished his sister would show up.

"Damn right." Jake said and another person said "Damn straight."

"You got it. So does your enemy." Maverick said threw the book into the trash.

"And we’re off." Warlock said

"But what the enemy doesn’t know is your limits. I intend to find them, test them, and push beyond. Today we’ll start with what you only think you know. You show me what you’re made of." Maverick continued "Before we continue Cyclone has something he wants to add." He said and took a step away and to the side as Cyclone walked up.

"Since this mission is dangerous and high stakes, we are bringing in another pilot. She will be flying the F-35 but will not be running the mission with you but will be training with you. She will be back up in the skies only and will take off with everyone else. She will assist if she needs to." Cyclone said and Bradley could feel his smirk, mood lightening, and sitting up straighter. "She has exceeded her training and has graduated early from pilot training and is now a stealth pilot. Everyone, I would like you to meet Lieutenant Y/N Bradshaw. Call sign: Sparhawk." Cyclone said as you reached the front and turned. You smiled and waved at the rest and then your eyes turned onto Bradley who had a smirk on his face and you smiled back at him.

Everyone was dismissed. Y/N was already out by her F-35. She would be going up with every hop to pose as another enemy along with Maverick. She saw Bradley get stopped by Maverick but wasn't able to hear anything. Bradley walked away from Maverick and came up to her. 

"Took you long enough." He said playfully and she laughed and smiled.

"I wanted it to be a surprise." She told him which is true he knew she was coming but just not when. He smiled and shook his head.

"You haven't changed one-bit little sis." Bradley said.

"I haven't but you have." She shot back she missed the playful banter. He just smirked.

"If you need anything. Let me know." He told her and she nodded her head.

"You got it, bro. Be safe up there." She said and turned to get up in her jet.

"You too sis." He replied and headed to his own jet. 

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The training was going well. Each hop was different from the last since each pilot had different flying skills. Y/N stayed unseen which was doable since she had a jet that was almost completely invisible from radar. There were a few times that she had freaked out the others by flying right next to them and they didn't even know. She especially liked to freak out Jake. 

It had been when Jake, Natasha, and Bob were up for one of the hops. Jake was looking over at the other two and that's when Y/N silently flew up next to him. Both Natasha and Bob were smirking.

"What are the two of you smirking at?" Jake asked and they said nothing but Y/N's voice came into the comms.

"Why don't you look to your left, Bagman." She said with a smirk on her face and you could hear it. He looked to his left and saw her there and he jerked his jet to the right and almost hit Natasha and Bob but he corrected it before he crashed. 

"Geez, Spawhawk. Where did you come from?" He asked, "You almost gave me a heart attack." He continued and she laughed. 

"I've been here for at least 10 minutes." She said with a smirk on her face. 

"Warning next time would be nice." He said and she laughed.

"That would beat the purpose of it being a stealth jet." She responded back with sass. They didn't get to speak much longer because Maverick's voice came on the comms. 

"Ok enough chit chatting. Sparhawk, time to start." Maverick said and she nodded even though he couldn't see it. 

"You got it Mav." She said and dropped her speed and seamlessly disappeared but in reality she just dropped down below the other jets and let them speed past her. She flew to Mav and settled right next to him. They decided to make the others sweat and they switched to private communication. 

"So an F-35?" Maverick asked her and she smiled though he couldn't see it. 

"Yea I figured it would be a nice change of pace and I like stealth." She said and he laughed. 

"You sure do. Are you ready to take them down?" He asked her. 

"Absolutely." She replied and off they went. Mav was the distraction while she stealthy came up behind them and toned them. This went on for several hops. 

Bradley was the toughest but eventually he was toned too. When Coyote went into g-loc she thought she was going to have a heart attack along with the bird strike, but in the end everyone was ok. 

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Not much time was given to hang out except when Maverick made time for dogfight football. It was wild and Y/N loved it. She always had a competitive side with Bradley and just in general. Getting to hang out with hot sweaty, shirtless, muscled, 6-pack abs, and sun-kissed skin guys wasn't bad either.  

After Y/N and her team won against Bradley they all sat down to cool off and some even went into the ocean. Bradley came over to her and threw an arm around her and she made a face.

"Bro you're sweaty. Get off of me." She said and pushed him away and he laughed.

"Look who's talking. You're just about as sweaty as I am." He pushed her back and smiled. They eventually stopped and talked until the sun went down and they headed home. What they didn't know was that Maverick was several feet back watching them smiling. He was glad Y/N stayed in touch and sad that Bradley didn't. He was surprised that she went into the Navy but couldn't blame her. 

Everyone left the beach and headed home to continue the next day. Then they were off to do the mission and come home, safely.

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The time has come for the mission. Everyone was nervous but ready for it. Maverick picked his team and Y/N was shocked when Bradley's name was called and her stomach dropped. She already knew she would be going but she feared for her brother. They all started to go out towards their jets when Cyclone stopped her.

"Lt. Bradshaw, stay back for a few seconds." She stopped and turned to look at him as the other left and Bradley gave her a questioning look. He also stopped Maverick before he left  "Captain Mitchell a word." He said as he was getting ready to leave.

"What can we do for you?" Maverick asked and then Warlock walked up to them.

"We have decided to send Lt. Bradshaw out before the Daggers." Both Maverick and Y/N were shocked, this was not the plan.

 "Captain Mitchell, you will still be leading the Daggers. Once everyone gets to the opening of the mountain, Lt. Bradshaw will drop out and do air control." They both were silent as Warlock spoke about the change of plans.

"Understood." Both of them said.

"Dismissed." Cyclone said and both Cyclone and Warlock walked out of the room followed by Maverick and Y/N, but not before looking at each other. 

When they got to their jets and Maverick and Bradley talked, Bradley walked up to his sister. "What was that about?" He asked.

"You know I'm not allowed to say. It's just the plans have changed. You'll see once we get up in the air." She said and he nodded but he could tell that she was nervous, they could always tell when something was up with the other it was just the sibling connection they shared. The announcement came on telling them that they were ready to launch. They hugged each other. "I love you, big brother." She said and he hugged her tighter.

"I love you too little sis." He replied and then let go of her and they went and got in their jets getting ready to take off. 

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They had Y/N's jet taxi to the catapult and she could feel the eyes of her teammates on her. They would be asking questions later. "Safety Dagger up and ready." She said into her comms. They gave her the go and the shooter gave the command and she shot off the deck and into the sky. Once she was far enough away they gave the ok for the other Daggers. She could hear Maverick talking but wasn't paying attention. She was on the lookout for bandits but found none. She saw the missiles fly above her and once the opening of the canyon, she dropped down and let the now-in-formation Daggers go ahead of her. She broke right and went around the mountain monitoring the skies. 

She was far enough away from the mountains but still close enough. As she was monitoring the skies she came across one of the bandits. "Safety Dagger this Comanche. You have a bandit at 3 o'clock." She looked at her radar and so behold there it was.

"Comanche, this is Safety Dagger. Copy that. Will not engage unless need to." She said into her comms.

"Copy that Safety Dagger." Comanche said. Everything was going smoothly until they spotted her and it was game on. 

"Comanche bandit is engaging, Safety Dagger is responding." She said.

"Copy, Safety Dagger." They said to her, she dropped her speed and dropped altitude. She was trying to disappear from their radar and it was working. 

She got behind them and got tone but she was still far enough away from them they couldn't see her. She got closer and they panicked and started to try to lose her. Each move they made she made. "Can't shake me. Our jets are practically the same." She said to herself. "Oh you're good but I'm better." She said and after a few minutes and a few missile shots and gunshots, she got the final tone and shot, taking them down. Her 1st confirmed kill. She still has a lot of ammo left. She had this feeling that something was right and boy was she right when she started to hear all the commotion going on and then Maverick went down and her heart dropped. She saw Natasha, Bob, Mickey, and Javy emerge but not Bradley. She flew up beside them. "Where is my brother?" She asked any of them but they remained silent "Answer me." She almost growled. 

"He went back for Mav." Bob finally said and boy was she angry. She quickly pulled her jet to the left and headed towards where they were last. When Cyclone came over the comms 

"Safety Dagger, return to the ship." He said and she was pissed.

"What's the point of a Safety Dagger if it's not going to protect the fellow Daggers?" She replied and Cyclone knew she was right and she might be in trouble but be damn with it. 

"Safety Dagger you are clear to proceed." Cyclone said and she nodded and proceeded to her brother. She flew around but couldn't see them. She practically growled. "Safety Dagger, report." He said. 

"Plane wreckage but not shoots or bodies." She said looking through the bottom of the plane thanks to her extremely up to date technology helmet. She then saw an F-14 on the runway and knew it was them but didn't say anything. She didn't want to alert the enemies. 

The F-14 took off and was in the sky. Once far enough away from the base she flew up beside them scaring the crap out of them. But once they saw she was friendly they were relieved. "Thought I would never see you again boys." She said into the comms. Bradley laughed. 

"What made you come looking for us?" He asked.

"Let's call it the sibling connection kicked in. I knew that you were still alive and I wasn't about to not help." She said to her brother and pseudo father. 

"Well, I'm glad it's still working. Let's go home." He said and that is exactly what they did but not before running into several bandits. They put up a good fight. Y/N could give them that but she had a jet of the same technology as them. She broke away from them and took off after the 3rd bandit and they watched her in a dogfight, and they were impressed, while they were fighting off on their own. They quickly got rid of their first one and they watched her take down the 3rd one, which was behind her but she shot a missile and it shot out but it went up and behind her hitting the 3rd bandit, they were impressed, confirming her 2nd kill. The second bandit was now chasing Maverick and Bradley through the canyon but she had another problem, a 4th bandit showed up and she was in another dogfight.

Y/N and the 4th bandit were chasing each other just as soon as she took down the bandit, Bradley and Maverick came back without the bandit and knew they would be ok. The 4th bandit was her 3rd confirmed kill. A 5th bandit showed up and Maverick and Bradley were out of ammo she put up a fight for them as they tried to invade and damaged the bandit but soon ran out of ammo.

Just as soon as they thought they were done for the plane that was in front of them but now behind them, after turning avoiding gunshots, them blew up and Jake came out of the smoke. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked an upright positions and prepare for landing." Jakes voice came through the comms.

'Hangman , you're looking good." Bradley said

"I am good, Rooster. I'm very good." Jake said to him being the cocky son of a bitch that he was. They all headed back to the ship, first Jake then Y/N, and then finally Maverick and Bradley. Once Bradley and Maverick crashed landed they got out of the plane and everyone cheered.

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Once they debriefed and got onto solid ground everyone gathered at The Hard Deck, except Cyclone, Warlock, and Maverick. They all chatted about and making plans for their well deserved team when Y/N silently slipped out on to the deck and looked out over to the ocean. Her brother noticed the absence of his sister and went out to her. He slung an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into his embrace. "Warlock tells me that you have now 3 confirmed kills." and she smiled and nodded.

"That would be correct." She said and he smiled.

"I'm proud of you. I know it was hard to take a life. Mom, Dad, and Uncle Ice would be so proud of you too." He said a laid a kiss to her hair. They heard the others cheering but didn't pay attention to it they were enjoying their sibling time together.

"You're right it wasn't easy but it was necessary." She said. Maverick walked out onto the deck and joined them smiling at them before walking up beside them.

"You missed the announcement." He told them. Bradley and Maverick were working on their relationship it would take time to heal but it was going in the right direction. They both looked at him.

"Oh?" Y/N asked as Bradley spoke up. "What's that?" Bradley asked at the same time.

"Yes. I just got out of a meeting with Cyclone and Warlock. They have decided to make this squad a permanent one. He also said that Y/N will also train and learn to fly the F/A-18E Super Hornet." Maverick said to the both and they all smiled. No words were needed. They all looked out into the ocean and setting sun.

Bradley hugged his little sister tighter and dropped another kiss to her head. Y/N leaned further into her brother enjoying the warmth from him and the familiar scent that she had grown up with. Maverick looked out into the sunset just thinking that Goose and Carole were up there smiling and begin glad that they had him in their life, even though there was rough patches. Occasionally Maverick would look at them and smile. He was glad they were together again and they were safe.

Bradley and Y/N truly did share the sibling connection. Now they don't have to be away from each other. Now Bradley could protect his little sister from guys, especially guys like Jake and Jake. Y/N had her big brother and pseudo father right there when she needed someone to go to when things get rough. The family was back together again.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx20

[discordsmuse]

any thoughts on Oathbreaker Knight with a fem!tav, seeking true redemption and "learning" with her new, weathered mentor? 🫣

Don't kill me anon, but believe it or not I literally didn't know this man existed until like 2 weeks ago. I played a Warlock, Monk and Barbarian and just missed him completely.

BUT!!! As soon as I realized there was a giant masked man with a Scottish accent and paternal energy, he had me by the throat. I want him to do terrible things to me.

On that note:

"Learning" from the Oathbreaker Knight ;)

18+ under the cut

- The armor is like a shield from not only the physical, but emotional aspects of mortal life. Tav comes to understand he doesn't feel like she and her other companions do. Still, he hangs around and offers sage advice that she funds annoyingly paternal at first.

- Tav trains with him, as she must if she wants any hope of settling into this new life. (Oathbreaker or pledged anew) Her guide remains dutifully at her side, assisting when necessary to keep her on the path.

- The voice is too attractive, she decided early on. Astarion teases her for how quickly the brogue of his accent makes her flush, but Tav is adamant it's only the heat of the summer.

- It's a sparring session where she ends up on her back, his sword pinning her down by the fabric of her tunic. One knee rests against the ground, close enough to press up to her side. Tav knows her breathing comes too quickly, even after a workout such as this. An awkward moment of silence passes before he's helping her up and continuing the lesson.

- After that, their sparring becomes more physical. Tav finds herself pressed to a tree by a weathered gauntlet against her throat or a knee between her legs. The latter made her squeak, a sound impossible to ignore in the silence of the night.

- Tav swears he starts to do it on purpose, to mess with her. Every moment of proximity, her Knight brushes against her skin. Arm to arm, hips bumping as he passes her, things too common now to be coincidence. There is an ache in him to touch her, and she can see it.

- The Oathbreaker resists his desire for her, but he can only provide so many excuses. Too old, ancient even. He is not man, more a spirit than anything she can ever hold. Tav remains determined nonetheless.

- Self control wanes, in part at her insistence. She manages to talk her way into his lap at one point, unsure what to do after having gotten this far. The unexpected allowance of their closeness is almost startling. That is, until his hands find her hips. He rocks her there, her comfortable camp pants catching on the metal as her body grinds against his. He has no body with which to satisfy her, but gives her all that remains. All that he can.

- After weeks of dancing around this tension between them, it culminates in the woods beyond the camp. Pinned to a tree, Tav grinds her body down on the tasset of his armor. Friction on her clit makes her gasp and whine, while the hand he has at her throat brings her heart to hammer in her ears. It is desperate, dirty, and unabashed as he watches her come undone.

- This man, this old God of sorts, does not keep his guidance to the battlefield. On the nights that Tav can spare her time for him, he will sometimes find her in her tent. There, he watches as she touches herself. His clawed armor traces over her thighs, reminding her how powerful and beautiful she is in this moment.

"Radiant, even in your undoing." His voice is thick with brogue, heady with the desire to please her rather than resign himself to guiding her hand. "How I wish to be the one between your thighs. Would that I could show you how adept my hand can be."

- It's words like that, dripping with admiration, that brings her to finish. Tav whimpers his title, allowing herself to be cleaned and soothed by hands that she knows means safety. Sometimes he will remain beside her as she sleeps, content to admire while she rests.

- It is a strange relationship, stranger still when he seems more idea than man. Yet, Tav thinks she may love him all the same.

[goldberrg]

secrets

summery : You didn't look like your golden and kind sister. And Eddie would like to say that he likes the quiet and easy-going Chrissy..

Eddie walks through the cafeteria, hearing every whisper about him, his hairstyle, style and... he didn't care about gossip about himself. Munson hated it when someone talked about the Hellfire Club in a bad way.

And that someone, of course, was most often Jason Carver. But today he heard the name of the Club from someone else. From someone with... with a more gentle voice.

Eddie immediately began to turn around, trying to figure out who was discussing his brainchild. And when he realized, he wanted to erase his memory.

Y\N. A bitch with a golden spoon in her mouth. And not only.

Of course, the sister of the sweet, easy-going, downright perfect Chrissy turned out to be a complete disappointment.

But only for Munson. Of course, you remained a bitch to everyone, but if you go beyond that, you had the highest score in the whole school (I think Mike told Eddie that the older Wheeler was slowly going crazy because of this), and also, of course, she is a fucking — captain of cheerleaders.

But no one loved you. And as Munson thought, it's better to be an outcast, but to have friends.

— "Hellfire Club?" Seriously?

He returns the scope to the conversation, passing too slowly. And to walk slowly is to attract attention.

— And here is his master! Hey, Munson! — one of your girl friends shouts, bursting into laughter and expecting the same from you. But you doesn't laugh. Looking at Eddie. And while the rest of the friends are trying to catch a breath from laughing, you say sharply.

— Shut up. My head is bursting. — he thinks about something, then suddenly gets up and throws. — I'm going to get pills.

Eddie follows you with his eyes to the exit from the dining room. Crazy, right.

***

— Wait, seriously? Did you bring... that bitch to me? — Munson asks Dustin quietly, looking at you, while you looking at your long nails.

— Did you say to find a player? We found it! — you look around the room, frowning his neat eyebrows.

— Shall we start the game?

— Oh, Y\N, I didn't know you played games like that.

— I'm not boring, Munson.

— Then let's get started. What is your level? If you know, of course...

— I'm a warlock of the seventeenth level, a jerk. Before moving to this dump, I was the best. And remained the best.

Dustin screamed from behind. You crossed your arms over the chest and grinned.

They stood at the tables and played, played..

***

— Victory! — mike shouted, looking at the dice your thrown. — Y\N, you're the best!

He rushed to hug you, and Eddie put a point in his head — to find out how these two guys know you.

— Yes, yes, thank you all for playing. See you at school. Can I give you a ride, little ones? — you asked good — naturedly, picking up a backpack lying against the wall. Wheeler and Dustin nodded happily and rushed to the exit.

— Bye, Munson. — you said, leaving the dark room.

Eddie thinks maybe you being a bitch isn't so bad. And not such a bitch.

***

— Hello! In short, Y\N doesn't know yet if she can come to the next game, and... — Wheeler begins to chatter, looking at Eddie, but he abruptly cuts the guy off.

— How do you know her so well?" — he asks in a too... too strange tone, not understanding why himself.

— And ... well, she helped me in literature, — Mike explains.

— My English! — after drinking the juice, Henderson says, smiling at the same time.

— It's disgusting,— Eddie says.

— Y\N helps a lot of people. — Dustin says casually, glancing at Munson.

— What are you driving at, little one? — the guy clarifies, straightening his hair.

— You can ask her and she…

— Oh, no. No. Why do I need a teacher outside of school?

— I'm just offering a scenario in which you can get closer.

— What? — Eddie shouts, jumping up from the bench. Almost everyone in the dining room turns to look at him. Munson looks around without interest, but his gaze lingers on the table in the center. You are sitting there. He wonder if she would have sat down voluntarily with him with the Club? Of course not. Daydreaming, Munson. Calm down your raging fantasy and sit down.

— No offense, Eddie, but... — Mike begins. Henderson finishes, as always.

— You've got a crush on her! We noticed it yesterday.

— Oh, my God. No.

— If it makes you feel any better. — Dustin says quietly. — We... questioned her yesterday while driving home. About you.

—And... and what? — Munson asked, hiding his face behind his hair.

— What was required to prove: you have a crush on her. — Dustin says, smiling, immediately receiving a slap on the back of the head from the guy. —Okay, okay! She said... said... something like "normal".

— And that's it?! I'm going to kill you, Henderson!

— No. — Wheeler says seriously. — It wasn't like that…

CONVO IN THE CAR

—Y\N. — Dustin whines, bending over to you. You roll your eyes and ask to sit down, but the boy continues. — What do you think about Eddie?

— What should I think about him?.. — Dustin, press your butt against the seat, otherwise I won't spare a couple of nails to poke out your eyes! And believe me, I will make it as painful, painful and long as possible!

You turn the steering wheel, turning onto another street. Mike drags Henderson back, forcing him to sit up straight.

— So, what's there about Eddie? He's nice, isn't he?

— Let's say. What's the point? — clarifies, looking in the mirror, catching the boy's gaze. Dustin quickly looks down, looking at the punctures in your ears.

— Just asking. Well, you're... friends now?

— Friends... — you repeat, grinning. — I have the right to remain silent until I understand what kind of question about Munson.

— It's just interesting! You adults are really boring!

— Whatever you say, little one. So, since I'm an adult and boring, don't ask me to come to this hole and play with you anymore.

— No, I didn't mean that!..

END

— That's it? Eddie moaned into his hands, covering his face with them.

—Yes. — Mike said with a shrug.

—Cool.. — Munson replies, suddenly speaking softly, almost inaudibly. — No. Dustin interpreted it as "I didn't fall in love with the bitch Y\N fucking Cunningham," and, in principle, he was right, but Eddie wouldn't admit it even at gunpoint.

— Y\N is nice. — Henderson said. — She just acts... like that at school.

— Like a complete bitch?

— Choose your expressions! But, in general, yes.

— Gods, why not Chrissy. — Eddie says, catching the blonde talking to her friend with his eyes.

— She's boring. — Dustin says, while Mike digs into the porridge with a spoon. He winces, as if this porridge is the third day. Dips a spoon, sniffs, immediately frowning. He puts down the tray with food and just finishes the juice, and then takes an apple out of his backpack and bites into it.

— Chrissy? Boring? Henderson, I'm going to kill you. — Eddie whispers sullenly, getting up from the table. — I'll meet you later. We're playing tonight. At seven. And... warn Cunningham.

***

— Hi. — Eddie says, catching up with you at the locker. You straightens your dark hair and looks around the empty corridor, lingering on Manson. When the guy holds his gaze, you answer slowly, with restraint.

— Hey. — puts the textbooks in the locker, taking all the books.

— Has Henderson already warned you...? — About the game today?

— Yes. I know, by seven.

— Super… Well, I'll go. See you, yeah. — he's about to leave when Cunningham calls out to him. — Why are you so nervous, Munson?

He stands leaning his shoulder against the locker. He smiles maliciously, looking straight into the your eyes. Eddie sighs.

— I'm all right.

— Whatever you say, cutie. — it's like he's being struck by lightning. Winces at the nickname, but says nothing. Turns around and leaves.

Cutie? Ugh!

***

— You've lost, ladies and gentlemen. — Munson happily announces, looking around at the disappointed faces of those present. But then you clarifie.

— Actually, I haven't thrown yet.. — with a slight movement of your fingers, you turn it, throwing it. After a couple of seconds, you smile triumphantly, immediately shooting an "I-knew-it" look at Eddie.

— Victory-ah! — Dustin yells, rushing at you. You smile, not taking your eyes off Munson, who looks like he's about to boil like a kettle. And smoke will come out of his ears. How? How did Y\N won again?

— Guys, I have to go! Bye! — Wheeler shouted after looking at his watch. He ran out of the room, got on his bike and drove away. Dustin shook his head and then looked at you. Next on Eddie. Held out.

— Well, I'll go too. Bye!

Cunningham and Munson were left alone. Eddie mentally compared Chrissy and you, marveling at how different you were.

Chrissy is a gentle, sweet, literally golden child. You are rude, overconfident, calculating bitch.

— Hey, are you listening to me?

Eddie looks up from the playing field.

— I said, do you need a ride, Munson? — He glances at the window. It's starting to rain. Thinks again, throwing.

— If it's easy for you…

— Then let's go faster.

You glance around the room. Quickly helps to assemble the game, and then throws the invariable black backpack on your shoulder and runs out into the rain first, opening the car and getting behind the wheel. Eddie runs after you, gets into the front seat and slams the door.

Cunningham, catching his breath, looks at the slightly soaked Munson. On his curls, some of which are entwined due to humidity. Smiling.

— Where are we going?

— Trailer park. — Eddie replies instantly, looking at how neat palms twist the steering wheel. And how does Cunningham live with such long nails?..

You drive in silence. You want to start a conversation, but don't know if it's necessary?

***

— Thanks for the ride, Cunningham. — Eddie says, looking into your tired eyes. You straightening your dark, slightly wet hair and nod.

— See you tomorrow.

— See you later.

He wants to get out, but for some reason he can't. Something is bothering him. An understatement hanging in the air. Here's what.

— Y/N, I wanted to say…

Does not have time. You kiss him first. Y\N Cunningham turned out to be more determined and bolder than Eddie Munson.

That's a shame. Henderson would have laughed to hear that.

When you pull away, Eddie tries to hide a smile that is bursting out.

He didn't give a damn about the rules, the school hierarchy, the castes invented in high school, the most toxic place on Earth.

You tilt your head to the side, looking at the guy

— Until tomorrow, then? — you smile, and Eddie notices a glint in your eyes. Admits to himself that maybe Y\N Cunningham is beautiful. And charming. And...

— Bye. — immediately gets out of the car, not allowing himself to stay even for a second.

And when Eddie Munson comes home, he still turns around. And sees a smiling you driving out of the yard.

[hellomystraightlacedfriend]

Of the High Evolutionary and Spider-Woman - and why I like Jessica Drew's Second Origin Story the Most

Like a lot of Marvel characters, Jessica Drew has experienced retcons and revisions to her history. In her very first appearance, 'Arachne' was told by Hydra General Vermis that she was originally a spider but was transformed by the High Evolutionary into a woman with spider-like properties. (1st Origin, found in Marvel Spotlight #32: written by Archie Goodwin, with art by Sal Buscema.)

However, this origin was immediately retconned in her very next appearance when it was revealed that Vermis told Jess this story to make her feel disconnected from the rest of humanity. Vermis and Hydra brainwashed her into believing that they were the only people who would want anything to do with her. They were her only hope for survival and acceptance. (The fact that Jess was young and very naive and her pheromones actually did have an unnerving effect on other people made this idea even easier to swallow).

In this version, Jessica Drew was the daughter of Jonathan and Merriem Drew. Jonathan was the research partner of Herbert Wyndham, who would later become the High Evolutionary. When Jess became sick from exposure to uranium as a young child, she was given a cure (made from spider blood), which gave her her powers.

This was Jessica Drew's 2nd origin story (developed largely by writers Marv Wolfman, Mark Gruenwald, Chris Claremont and their respective artists), and the one that was hard canon from the 1970s up until 2005. It's also the backstory that is still used in Marvel handbooks and was the one given in History of the Marvel Universe (2019).

In 2005, Brian Michael Bendis and Brian Reed wrote a 5-issue mini called Spider-Woman: Origin. And while I get why certain changes were made - obviously, there was an effort to simplify/streamline Jess's backstory - I just hate a lot of them. In stripping it down, many aspects of Jess's backstory that I found unique and personally fascinating were lost.

Also, some of the changes actually made things more complicated - like the decision to retcon Wyndham into just a Hydra general. Because the High Evolutionary is a key character in other characters' backstories - like Adam Warlock and the Maximoffs - this decision didn't really stick/was ignored by other writers. Because of this, Spider-Woman: Origin does not fit into the broader continuity of the Marvel Universe.

So today, I wanted to go over what I enjoyed about Spider-Woman's 2nd origin, and examine the changes that were made afterwards.

Before I proceed further, though, I do think it's only fair that I acknowledge that Bendis was responsible for really bringing back Jessica Drew as a character and making her a little less obscure. Also, there are definitely choices he made with the character that I like/find interesting, like: developing her friendship with Carol, continuing her relationships with Wolverine and Nick Fury, and getting her Spider-Woman title/costume back, among others. I even really enjoyed the whole Veranke imposter thing, which I know pissed off some fans.

That said, I still have a very visceral reaction to some of the ways Bendis handled Jessica Drew - and how some fans treat him as the end-all-be-all for the character.

So, let's go.

Part 1: The Man Who Would Be God

Okay, so the thing that probably offended me the most is how Spider-Woman: Origin turned Wynham into just a nondescript Hydra General. The reason for this is because the High Evolutionary and the Drew family actually have a very tightly wound history, and Bendis obviously wanted to stress Jess's relation with Hydra. But even though the High Evolutionary doesn't have a lot of comic book appearances (under 200 as of today) he has been quite an influential character, playing an important part in the Maximoff twins, Adam Warlock, and Spider-Woman's backstories - and also making recurring appearances in X-Men, Avengers, Thor, and even Spider-Man comics.

Also, I just like him. Like yeah, the dude's a piece of shit, but I find him interesting as a character - so that is why I am starting with him and who he is in the main Marvel Universe.

Note: While I am not going to give specific dates, this was originally supposed to take place around the 1920s - 30s. The time period isn't vitally important, though, in my opinion. It was more just that this was supposed to take place some 30+ years before the main Marvel events (like the Avengers, X-Men, and Fantastic Four forming).

Also, no, the High Evolutionary's whole "evolving" animals into more "advanced" versions of themselves isn't scientically accurate - but I like chewing on the thematic elements it creates.

So to begin, Herbert Edgar Wyndham was born in Manchester, England, into what was probably once a well-off family. However, his father’s passing (when Herbert was still young) seemed to have put financial strain on the family. Due to this, Herbert's dream of attending Oxford University to further his studies in genetics depended entirely on him getting a scholarship or sponsorship.

This didn't seem completely out of the realm of possibility - because young Herbert was something of a genius who was already pouring hours of his free time into obsessively studying the genetics of rats.

Herbert had become fixated on the idea of improving the world through accelerated evolution - and he wanted to be the one to do it. He'd even made a machine that he hoped would evolve the rats into later stages of rat evolution. Although all of his attempts so far - which had mostly been bombarding rats with radiation - had just ended with dead rats. But as much as their deaths saddened him, Herbert wasn’t one to give up.

Now Herbert was living with his mother, and she completely doted on him, so when Herbert got an invitation to attend a major genetics conference in Geneva, she was the one to go to all of their relatives to collect money, so he could go on his trip.

And this is where he bumped into a young American - Jonathan Drew, a student at Yale specializing in arthropods.

The two of them hit it off right away - Herbert seeing in Jonathan a fellow "visionary," as Jonathan Drew wanted to use the genetics of spiders to 'improve' the human race - making them less susceptible to toxins and disease.

During the convention, Herbert and Jonathan attended a lecture, where the speaker warned against the dangers of genetic tampering - saying that more theoretical research needed to be done into the long-term effects. Over dinner, an angered Herbert complained to Jonathan about this, when he suddenly felt dizzy and went out to get some air. There, he was approached by the inhuman geneticist Phaeder, who gave Herbert the genetic information he needed to perform his experiments.

(Although Phaeder didn't actually introduce himself as Phaeder, he just gave Herbert a stack of papers and then fucking left. Apparently, Phaeder gave out information like this to other human geneticists as well - like some weird fairy godmother or twisted Prometheus - but his reasons for doing so aren't relevant to this story).

Shortly after this, Herbert did end up getting into Oxford, but he blew the opportunity by spending all of his time working on a machine to turn animals into more "evolved" versions of themselves. When he couldn't even manage a demonstration on what he was working towards, he was kicked out of Oxford.

After getting kicked out, Herbert finally made a successful attempt with his machine - a machine which he had named his "genetic accelerator." He "evolved" his pet dalmatian - enhancing its intelligence to that of a chimpanzee and getting it to walk on its two back legs.

Herbert was estatic. However, the poor dog was accidentally shot by hunters, who then called it "a freak of nature." This led Herbert to believe that the only way for him to keep his "creations" safe was to keep them away from the rest of humanity.

So, he met back up with Jonathan, who had married a European woman and was now living in Europe.

Note: The nationality of Jessica's biological mother is inconsistent across sources, sometimes said to be English, sometimes French. Sometimes, she is listed as being born in Transia. Also, I guess she could have been born in Hungary, too, because of the whole Viper thing. (We'll get back to that.)

Jessica Drew's place of birth, however, is universally London, England.

Anyway, Herbert reconnected with Jonathan Drew, who now had a young daughter named Jessica. Jess seemed a pretty outgoing and affectionate child as she immediately climbed up on Herbert, something her mother scolded her for, but Herbert said he didn't mind.

Herbert and the Drews decided to pool their resources together to create "a citadel of science." Jess's mother, Merriem, had just inherited a tract of land in (the fictional Balkan country of) Transia - in the shadow of Wundagore Mountain. So that's where they decided to set up their base.

Herbert sold his mother's house (without fucking asking her!) for building money. (He'd already persuaded his mother to move into her sister's place so he could rent out the house for money for his experiments - which really demonstrates his complete but rather oblivious self-centeredness.)

With these plans in hand, Herbert, Jonathan, Merriem, and little Jessica all moved to Wundagore together to start their new lives.

Part 2: Wundagore

When Herbert and the Drews got to Wundagore, they immediately heard rumours from the locals that there was an evil spirit trapped in the mountain, and werewolves and vampires living close by. There was, in fact, an evil spirit trapped in the mountain - the evil elder god Chthon - but Herbert and Jess's parents (in a very Dracula moment) dismissed the nearby villagers as superstious simpletons.

Their arrogance grew when they found that the soil in the land they owned contained a lot of uranium ore. Now they would be wealthy! Interestingly, though, this turn in fortune did not cause any friction between Herbert and the Drews, as even though the land was technically Merriem's, Jonathan assured Herbert that they were all full partners in this venture.

Note: It's funny how especially compared to how Bendis and Reed wrote the Wyndham & Drew relationship (in Origin) as being pretty much purely professional - in Mark Gruenwald's hands, Herbert Wyndham and Jess's parents come across as having a rather unconventional closeness.

Herbert especially seems quite fond of Jonathan Drew (even though he often expresses waryness of humanity as a whole), and the fact that their finances are all so willingly tied together is very interesting to me. It would be more expected, particularly in a villain's origin story, for there to be more infighting around money. Instead, Jonathan and Herbert like each other enough that this never became a problem.

Herbert and Jonathan started working on their citadel of science, but because the engineer they hired to build it was obsessed with outerspace, they got a lab with space-faring capabilities. Jonathan was like "is this really necessary???" But he had bigger problems.

His young daughter had collapsed on the dirt she was playing in. Because even though Jonathan warned Merriem to keep Jess away from the dirt, they were both pretty neglectful in actually watching their daughter. Jess was now suffering from uranium poisoning that had been building in her little body for months. She was sick and quickly dying.

In a panic, Jonathan injected his young daughter with the experimental spider-blood serum he had been working on. However, Jess didn’t respond. Herbert then offered to use his genetic accelerator on Jess, but Merriem argued against it. She thought that it was too late for Jessica, and accused her husband and his partner of just using Jess as a guinea pig. Against her wishes, Herbert did put Jess in his genetic accelerator, merging Jess's genetics with those of the spiders.

However, Jess still seemed completely unresponsive, and Herbert put her in an induced coma/partial suspended animation in the hopes that the serum would slowly cure her over time. Angry and distressed that her daughter had been experimented on for what seemed to her no reason, Merriem rushed off into the night - and was killed by a werewolf.

Note: Okay, I wanted to pause here, because I actually highly prefer this version of Jessica Drew getting her powers to the one in Spider-Woman: Origin - where she accidentally gets spider DNA beamed into her body while she's still a fetus.

I just find it more interesting seeing these characters have this genuine fear and panic about their little girl dying - and maybe it resonates with me more because my little brother became very sick when he was three years old and eventually died (and I spent quite a bit of time in children's hospitals growing up) but there's also more nuance in this origin.

For some reason, Bendis and Reed made Jonathan and Merriem Miriam more black-and-white figures, with Jonathan being painted as a guy who secretly hated his daughter - because he's weirded out by her spider DNA - but still used her to advance his research. Whereas Jess's mother was presented as a much more sympathetic figure, as she was first taken in by her husband lies about her daughter being sick and thus the testing on her being necessary, and then later when she found out this wasn't true, she fought to defend her daughter from him.

But in the 2nd origin, especially in the parts penned by Mark Gruenwald, neither of Jess's biological parents was actually perfectly "right." Here, it is pretty clear that although Jonathan genuinely wanted to save his daughter's life, he also really wanted to see if his serum would work, and he very much wanted the glory of that success. However, Merriem was going to stand in the way of her daughter possibly surviving - because on principle, she didn't want her daughter to be used as a science experiment. Jonathan's motives were not close to being 100 percent pure, but if Merriem had gotten her way, Jess would have absolutely died.

Which is more unique for a Marvel backstory, because there are so, so many bad father/nicer mother narratives in Marvel. Which I am not saying this isn't a dynamic that doesn't occur often in real life, but I feel like Jessica's story was more about all her guardians failing her one-by-one.

But anyway, Merriem was killed by a werewolf, and it was Herbert who found her body. Not really believing in werewolves but also not wanting Jonathan to become biased against nonhuman life, Herbert staged the death to look like a fall.

Jonathan was absolutely devastated: first his daughter had become sick/comatose and now his wife was dead. Herbert tried to think of ways to console his despondent friend, but it wasn’t long after this that Herbert woke up to a note from Jonathan Drew, saying that he couldn’t stand being there anymore without Merriem, and he was going back to America. Jonathan left Herbert the citadel, and his daughter.

Part 3: The New Men and Recreating Camelot

So, Herbert found himself alone and lonely in his now completed citadel. The only person with him was his former partner's unconscious child. He decided that he would be a father to this abandoned little girl, and well, any daughter of his was going to have a world-class education. So he set up audio recorded lessons and lectures to play in her cryogenic chamber while she slept.

Herbert was (unsurprisingly) still lonely. He couldn’t really talk to Jessica (and she didn’t seem to be getting better), so he had this whole empty citadel to himself. To keep his mind busy, he set to work on making himself the perfect suit/armour to protect himself from environmental toxins. But also as a 'just in case' - even though he did not believe in werewolves or werewolf folklore or any of this crap about a demon living inside the mountain - he made the suit silver-plated on the outside.

When his perfect silver-plated hazmat suit was completed (after an intense process of trial and error), Herbert started wearing it all the time. It wasn't long, though, before his mind started itching to work on something else, and his thoughts drifted back to the evolved dog he had "created" before.

He started acquiring both domestic and wild animals from all over: lions and tigers and bears and pigs and cows and sheep. And he started putting them through his genetic accelerator. Those that survived and showed successful signs of intelligence, he called his "New Men" - though he would also more affectionately refer to them as his "children."

The New Men were absolutely bewildered by this whole process, but Herbert assured them they would adjust to this new way of existence. He had them watch educational tapes until they gained the ability to speak, and he started to feel a little less lonely.

Then, joy of joy, Jonathan Drew returned to Wundagore. Herbert was like, "I missed you. It hasn't been the same without you!" And Jonathan was like "Actually, I'm not Jonathan. I'm the ghost of 6th century wizard who took possession of your friend's body to warn you that you are in grave danger." And Herbert was like 😯 (Quotes aren't exact exact but pretty damn close).

Herbert didn't believe the whole ghost possession story, but he decided it was "a harmless mental disorder" caused by Jonathan's grief. So when "Jonathan" suggested they teach the New Men to be lance-wielding knights, Herbert decided to commit to some long-term LARPing to make his friend happy. Besides, this new code of honour would guide his New Men, make them civilised. Also, he did enjoy being the king of his castle. This is when Herbert started going by "the High Evolutionary" - a title that "Jonathan" encouraged.

Now Jonathan was, in fact, being possessed by a 6th century ghost. A guy named Magnus, who had come to Wundagore to warn Herbert that all his drilling into the mountain had awakened a dormant demon. Herbert - the High Evolutionary did not want to hear about this, though. He was like (paraphrasing):

"John, dear John, or Lord Magnus - however you want to be called, you can tell me all you want about how you used to work with Morgan Le Fay, before she murdered you with her bare hands, but don't speak to me of demons. I am a man of science™ There are no demons, and there is certainly no demon trapped in my mountain."

But like I said before, there was, in fact, an evil spirit in the mountain. He had been bound to it by Morgan Le Fay and her followers back in the 6th century - once she realised she couldn’t control the spirit she had summoned.

But back in the 20th century, time passed. A decade went by. The New Men, now called the Knights of Wundagore, kept training. Jessica Drew kept sleeping, and in her sleep, she aged very, very slowly. She had still not fully recovered from her sickness, and the High Evolutionary wondered if she ever would.

Then, one stormy night, a woman on the point of giving birth came to Wundagore and gave birth to twins. The mother slipped away in the night, leaving a note asking for the High Evolutionary to find her newborns a good home.

It was during this time that Chthon attacked, and Herbert/the High Evolutionary came face to face with a fucking Elder God. He and his knights fought back but were quickly overpowered, and Herbert watched in horror as many of his "children" were dashed to pieces in front of him. Luckily, Magnus ended up being able to put Chthon back into his dormant slumber, using a magic book called the Darkholde. However, not before Chthon put a piece of his essence into one of the twin babies: the girl who would grow up to be Wanda Maximoff, aka the Scarlet Witch.

Note: Not related to Spider-Woman: Origin directly, but I have seen other people bring up Bendis' erasure of Wanda's chaos magic (in his Avengers Dissambled Arc) and speculate that he was trying to write Chthon out of the Maximoff twins' backstory and out of the Marvel Universe. This is most likely true. For some reason, Bendis seemed determined to take all the magic away from Wundagore Mountain, which - is something I'm not a fan of.

Back to the story though, one of the surviving New Men, a cow-woman who Herbert named "Bova" (derived from a Latin word for cow) was tasked with taking care of the infants, while the High Evolutionary looked for a new home for them. He ended up placing the infants with Django and Marjya Maximoff, a Romani couple who were unable to have children of their own.

Note: Sorry, another complaint...it’s just super weird in Spider-Woman: Origin that the whole Bova in evolved cow is made out to be a delusion put in Jessica Drew’s mind by Hydra, and that Bova is actually a human woman named Bova????? I'm sorry, but why the fuck would that be her name? Did her parents hate her?

Also, it's just annoying because Bova doesn't have a purpose in the story other than to be a vehicle for the writers to be like "oh, yeah, we are retconning the High Evolutionary and his New Men! Yep, they never existed. Mhm, Hydra made them up entirely to mentally torture one child."

It seems evident that someone thought that this origin was too weird, but I just – aghhhhhhh. Okay, let’s move on.

After this, Magnus departed, saying that his duties there were done and that he had to relinquish Jonathan's body and return to his grave. But he also told the High Evolutionary that he would miss him and tasked Herbert with not neglecting the daughter of the man whose body Magnus had borrowed.

Part 4: Leaving 'Paradise'

It would still be years, though, before Jessica Drew finally woke up well from her prolonged sleeping beauty slumber. When she did wake up, her memories of her parents and her former life were very dim. She had been so young when she had gotten sick that she didn't remember anything clearly from before. So this strange world of talking, anthropomorphic animals and a knight's code of honour and all that - that was the world she really grew up in.

Note: I think that's part of what made me fall so hard for this backstory. Something about how casually and naturally Jess relayed it all to Nick Fury when looking back years later: the "High Evolutionary" promising to raise Jess like his own daughter, animals with the intelligence and faculty of human beings, the desire to recreate Camelot. They were all presented as the most normal things in the world, which is what really gripped me.

Because that is how a child raised in a bizarre environment would take it in - as their normal. And as someone who grew up in a cult, well, I really resonated with that. I mean, there are other ways that Jess's upbringing resembles being brought up in a cult (which I'll talk about a bit more soon) - but even the just talking about bizarre things as if they are completely straightforward (because that was your lived experience) is so interesting to me.

I also really like the idea of Jess being raised in a knight-centred culture, because this actually gives more context/insight into her character. Like why she has more negative emotions around being "a coward" than she does about killing people. Or why one of the things that pisses her off the most is seeing someone attack someone who is weak/defenceless, and why Jess would go in for the kill against the attacker in those situations. Of course, anyone would be upset about that, but there is a such level of anger there that we can see this goes against one of her core beliefs. An honourable knight is going to defend the weak, and hurting someone who is weaker than you is utterly despicable.

And it's just interesting that these values are following her even to this day, even though they were put in place by someone who was neglectful/abusive.

That's getting a little ahead of the story though:

So, when Jess woke up she had only physically aged to around 10 years old (or in some sources her early teens) - even though she had been asleep for over three decades. However, because she'd been in a coma-like state all this time, emotionally, she was still younger.

The High Evolutionary immediately placed Jess in Bova's care. He claimed he would be like a father to her, but he was preoccupied. His confrontation with Chthon had had a huge impact on him. For the first time, he had been come across something he couldn’t explain and was so much more powerful than him. That had rattled him, had shaken him to the core.

It's also possible that witnessing so much death and having his friend effectively abandon him a second time had resulted in Herbert becoming more emotionally detached. When he did interact with Jessica, it was mostly to examine the abilities he and Jonathan had given her.

One of the darker implications from around this time is that Jess has an ability to be resistant to toxins, but the way the power works is that she has to be exposed to a poison, endure the effects of it, heal from it, and then she will have an immunity to it. The fact that she already has a very clear understanding of how that power works in her first solo series suggests that multiple poisons were tested on her before it.

Looking back at this time in her life, Jess also expressed that she mostly felt like a labratory animal (which could be one reason why she has such a strong affinity towards characters like Logan/Wolverine or even the Hulk.)

Note: I will say that Spider-Woman: Origin does also have Jess be a test subject (although Jonathan is the perpetrator instead of The High Evolutionary.) I also do think the writers of the mini did enough research into Jessica Drew that they did try bring forward some of the same themes.

Sadly, one thing that was lost in this new origin was Jessica Drew seeing her father/father figure as a god/God. It's just one of my favourite things in stories where parental figures are lifted up onto this worshipful pedestal, and in this case, it makes a lot of sense. The High Evolutionary did save Jess's life, and he had cared for her even after her biological father abandoned her. He was her saviour.

Also, all these people around her - the New Men - they saw the High Evolutionary as God, because he was the one who had brought them to this new level of consciousness, and if he wanted to, he could also take that away. The New Men had also basically been taught that their whole purpose in life was to serve the High Evolutionary. This was readily accepted by most of them, and while others, like Bova, would go on to ponder if there was more to their existence, no one at this time was really questioning the High Evolutionary's authority. He was their king, their God, their everything.

And this does remind me of how cult members are "supposed to" and how many people in cults do view cult leaders. Add to this that the High Evolutionary did not allow outsiders (with very exceptions) into Wundagore, and that he forbade the New Men and Jessica Drew from ever leaving, and you have a very isolated and insular environment. Which is very, very cult-like.

There is also something about how the High Evolutionary can and later does devolve New Men - whether that be as punishment, or because he thought it was a mistake to evolve them up in the first place, or just because he was tired of a particular New Man - that makes me think of the dehumanisation that often takes place in cults. How personhood can be given or taken away.

Not that this is the only way to view the High Evolutionary, especially since he does eventually become more and more actually godlike in power and is even referred to as "God" at some points - you could also see the High Evolutionary as critique on God or how God is perceived, or well, something else entirely I suppose.

However you want to look at it, being "God" isn't always easy. Which Herbert was starting to realise.

Because the New Men saw him as this omniscient being, the High Evolutionary was getting flooded with questions. So, to bear the brunt of that barrage, the High Evolutionary recruited Jane Foster (yes, that Jane Foster) to be the New Men's new teacher. That way he could concentrate on what was really important to him.

Which, if you thought that would be spending some quality with his adopted daughter...well, no, that wasn't even on his radar. What he wanted to do was work on his genetic accelerator, with the hopes of making more advanced New Men.

It was just the hand that fate had handed him, his duty to make a perfect world, yada yada

Now Thor (Jane's love) happened to see Jane being taken off to an isolated location and thought she had been kidnapped. He came down to Wundagore, and basically walked into an ongoing battle.

The High Evolutionary had been making adjustments to his genetic accelerator, and had beamed a different type of isotope at the wolf he was evolving up. The wolf ended up coming out more "advanced" than the other New Men: smarter, more capable, but also filled with hate - towards the High Evolutionary and all of humanity. Declaring himself to be the "Man-Beast," the evolved wolf quickly took control of the genetic accelerator, and made new New Men - ones who would be loyal to him and help him overthrow the High Evolutionary.

A battle ensued, with Thor joining forces with the High Evolutionary, the Knights of Wundagore, and Jessica Drew to put down the Man Beast's rebellion. (This would be the first time Jess would use her venom blasts in a fight.) The Man-Beast and his underlings were defeated, but the High Evolutionary was again shaken. For the first time, he wondered if he had made a mistake tampering with evolution. Thor certainly thought so.

Finally, the High Evolutionary decided that humanity and his New Men couldn’t peacefully coexist. So, taking all but a handful of his New Men into his spaceflight-capable citadel, he took off for the stars.

Jessica Drew watched in Bova's arms, as her home lifted off the ground and disappeared into the sky.

Note: I don't know why, but I just find the image of Jess watching her home and her father/God disappear into outerspace never to return to her again particularly poignant. I especially ruminate on this when thinking about her and Carol, and how they see outerspace so differently. Carol having such positive connotations with it, and Jess such negative ones. It would just be interesting if it went all the way back to their childhood. (Even though, of course, a big reason why Jess hates/is scared of space is the whole being kidnapped/held captive by Skrull thing.)

But to return to the story, Jess and Bova and the rest of the New Men have to go on and adjust to life without their "God." Now none of the New Men, besides Bova, had really shown Jess any love or acceptance. They had tolerated her presence because the High Evolutionary had called her his daughter. However, now that the High Evolutionary was no longer there, well, things were different. The New Men started to become more and more vocal about their dislike for Jessica Drew.

The reason why they disliked her basically came down to two things. 1) at this point time Jess was instinctively/subconsciously giving off alarm pheromones that upset people around her 2) the fact that she had both human and spider DNA upset the New Men's sense of order. The High Evolutionary was fully human. They were animals brought up to personhood, but Jess was neither of those things, so they did not know how to view her.

Also, now that the High Evolutionary was gone, Jessica Drew was the only none New Man around, and though she begged and pleaded for their acceptance, the New Men just became more and more hostile towards her.

Finally, Bova decided that this was getting way out of hand, and she and Jess agreed maybe it would be best if Jess left and tried her luck among humankind. At this point in time, Jess was physically around seventeen, but because she was still catching up from spending a chunk of her childhood unconscious and had lived such an isolated existence, she came across as younger and was certainly very naive.

Despite this, Bova did not go with the child she had been ordered to take care of. Not that I actually exactly blame her in this situation. It had never been her decision to have or take care of a child. Also, she probably thought that Jess had a higher chance of being accepted if she weren't with a talking cow. Bova would have also wanted to stay with the people/community she knew and cared about, and would not want to go to some stranger place where she knew she would be shunned.

This did lead, however, to Jess going out into the world alone, a child among strangers. And in very mutant backstory fashion [even though Jess is not mutant - well, at least, not as of yet] Jess ended up accidentally killing a human man with her powers. (She was suddenly startled and hit him with a venom blast.) This led to the village turning against her, and a terrorist organisation - Hydra - coming to her "rescue."

Part 5: Hydra

After this point, this origin and Spider-Woman: Origin become a lot more alike. In both origins:

Jess joins Hydra when she is physically seventeen but emotionally/mentally younger (because in both origins she spends a sizable chunk of her childhood unconscious.) She is lied to/brainwashed in some way. She is then trained to be a spy/fighter/assassin. A guy named Jared starts a manipulative relationship with her, as he becomes her boyfriend and handler. Jared allows himself to be captured by S.H.I.E.L.D., so that Jess will come and rescue him and kill Nick Fury. Jess breaks into Fury's location, but while she is there, it is revealed to her that Hydra - and Jared specifically - have been attacking innocent/defenceless people. Jared tells Jess that their relationship was fake/that he never loved her/that he found her disgusting - before he ends up dying by her hand. Jess then ends up killing Otto Vermis. Fury tries to recruit her to S.H.I.E.L.D., but she slips through his fingers.

Some differences include:

1.

In Spider-Woman: Origin Taskmaster is shown to the one who trained Jessica Drew. This is more an addition than a contradiction to anything that was previously canon. And it's something I do actually like/have no problem with.

Well, the one nitpick I have is Taskmaster taunting Jess's costume - which would not bother me in isolation. It's just that Bendis put her back in this costume, only to have multiple people make fun of it, so whenever I see a character doing that, I hear it in Bendis' rather than the character's voice.

I also would have kind of preferred if Chris Claremont's addition to the costume's history was included. Basically Claremont had it be Jess's idea - that she fought for - to have the costume be not the usual Hydra green.

The brightly coloured costume is not great for stealth work, but I would say that it could speak to Jess's character. The colours are interesting because they are typical of poisonous animals, so the costume is like a warning sign. It could speak to Jess's sense of fairness or even her cockiness to go after her enemies in red and yellow and black.

It would also make a lot more sense to why she kept using the costume after leaving Hydra, even though that wasn't the smartest decision. If she chose the colours and felt like this was her first successful rebellion after being controlled all her life, yeah, that would give a lot more emotional/sentimental value to the costume.

I also like this idea because the person who designed Spider-Woman's original costume was actually a woman, the Marie Severin.

2.

In previous versions Otto Vermis was the Hydra general Jess was serving under, and who she killed by bending the wing of his plane and making it crash. But because Spider-Woman: Origin plays musical chairs with the characters, Wyndham (instead of being the High Evolutionary) is the Hydra general, and Vermis (instead of being the general) is just a Hydra guy Jess sleeps with for information about her father's whereabouts and then kills after he tries to kill her.

Now I don’t think it's totally out-of-character for Jess to start a sexual relationship with someone she is not attracted to in order to save/protect someone she loves, because the upper limit to what she would do to protect the people in her life is very high, but I still thought this was well, unnecessary.

3.

In Spider-Woman: Origin, Jonathan Drew is killed by Viper because he finally decides he doesn't want to be involved with Hydra anymore. In Spider-Woman (1978) after finally returning to America, Jonathan Drew is killed by an American congressman because Jonathan uncovered the motives of this group he was doing research for.

I will say that Spider-Woman: Origin is neater - is that the word? - more contained with Jessica Drew's parents' deaths. Miriam Drew is killed by her husband in front of her daughter, and then Jonathan Drew is killed by Hydra, specifically Viper. But in my opinion, the addition of having Jess see her father kill her mother in front of her doesn't really add anything to her character. And because earlier in Origin, they also had Jonathan Drew not like Jess from birth, it just kept making me think of Brian Banner, and how this backstory fits Bruce Banner better.

For some reason, it also really irritates me that Merriem/Miriam is made out to be the vastly better parent, and I don’t like how this has continued into newer comics. Maybe this is an overreaction, but I feel like I'm being spoon-fed this idea that all biological mothers are instinctively more loving and nurturing.

Speaking of biological mothers though, I did say I would get back to Viper. So, basically, the story behind Viper and Spider-Woman is just that Chris Claremont wanted Viper to be Jessica Drew's mother, so he made that retcon in Spider-Woman (1978) #44. However, J. M. DeMatteis, who was writing Captain America comics parallel to this, apparently didn’t like this idea, or someone didn't like it, so the retcon was retconned a year later (in Captain America #281.) So now Viper wasn't actually Jessica Drew's mother. Morgan Le Fay had just planted false memories in Viper's mind to make her believe that she was Jessica Drew's mother.

Which I mean I don’t really mind either scenario. I would be cool with Viper being Jess's biological mother, but also Morgan Le Fay did want to be the one to kill Jessica Drew (after Jess refused to swear eternal fealty to Morgan Le Fay and instead skewerd Morgan with her own sword), so I could totally see Morgan fucking with Viper's mind/memory just so that Viper would hesitate and not beat her to killing Jess.

4.

Okay, I am just going to make note of one other difference, and then I'm done, I'm through.

Weird thing: Jessica Drew unexplainably attending San Francisco State University in Origin takes me out of the story more than the not-scientifically sound explanation of being "extensively educated by the High Evolutionary during stasis." I actually find it pretty easy to accept the story logic of Jess learning languages and the contents of books subconsciously.

But not only does Jess attending university not fit with Spider-Woman (1978) or any of Jess's earlier appearances, but it leads to so many unanswered questions, like (if she wasn’t learning anything in the ten years she was in a coma) what was her schooling like up to this point? How did she get into university without a prior education, or transcripts? Like maybe she's just sitting in on a class, but that is not explained either. Nothing is explained.

Okay, I'm finally done now. Thanks for reading, and if you'd like, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject too!

Sources:

Thor #134-135 (Stan Lee/Jack Kirby)

Marvel Spotlight #32 (Archie Goodwin/Sal Buscema)

Marvel Two-In-One #29-#33 (Marv Wolfman/Ron Wilson)

Spider-Woman (1978) #1, #5, #6, #20, #35, #37 (Marv Wolfman/Carmine Infantino; Mark Gruenwald/Carmine Infantino; Chris Claremont/Steve Leialoha)

Avengers #187 (Mark Gruenwald, Steven Grant, David Michelinie/John Byrne)

The Saga of the High Evolutionary (Mark Gruenwald/Paris Cullins & Ron Lim), found in:

X-Factor Annual #3, The Punisher Annual #1, Silver Surfer Annual #1, New Mutants Annual #4, Fantastic Four Annual #21, Amazing Spider-Man Annual #22, X-Men Annual #12, Web of Spider-Man Annual #4, West Coast Avengers Annual #3

Collected by bringbackwendellvaughn here:

Scarlet Spider Unlimited (Glenn Herdling/Tod Smith)

Quicksilver #9 (John Ostrander, Joe Edkin/Ivan Reis)

Marvel Atlas #1

Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 1 #5

Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 1 #14

Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 2 #15

Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Avengers 2005

All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A to Z #5

FF: Fifty Fantastic Years

History of the Marvel Universe (2019) #4 (Mark Waid/Javier Rodriguez & Alvaro Lopez)

Spider-Woman: Origin (Brian Michael Bendis, Brian Reeds/Jonathan Luna, Joshua Luna)

[iolypse]

primarily english speaking qsmp members as D&D characters because I can't help but fuse both of my current fixations together

Philza — species for this one was tricky, class and subclass a little harder, but I ultimately decided on aasimar ranger (horizon walker). kept trying to pick between aasimar and air genasi, almost put air genasi because I felt like qfoolish fit aasimar better, but they can both be aasimar it's fine. by the time I finish writing this, foolish might not even be an aasimar anymore, im still thinking. regardless, qphil has always been a bit of a tactician and a bowman, hasnt he? classic traits of a ranger. from there, it felt like horizon walker was the only subclass that fit. protecting from otherworldly threats, preserving life and other planes. yeppp sounds like this paranoid motherfucker right here.

BadBoyHalo — now that's a tiefling if I've ever seen one. class is a little more complicated. I've deliberated between paladin and warlock before eventually settling on paladin, making him a tiefling paladin (ancients). I don't have to explain the tiefling part (have you seen his everything?), but the paladin part could use it. we're yet to really see qbad make any real deals with any powerful forces, so that took out the warlock part for me. I wanted to make sure he had at least a little bit of magic though (c'mon), so I immediately went to paladin, and it worked out. he's a dedicated man! he'll make a promise and he'll fuckin stick to it. I debated between devotion and ancients after that, but devotion tends to have a more lawful side, which ended with me choosing ancients. they fight the darkness because they love life, plain and simple, and you're dull if you can't see how much this dude loves life.

FitMC — alright, I'm sorry, I had to do it, but this is a human fighter (rune knight) right here. I simply couldnt see him as anything other than human, and rogue and artificer didn't fit since there's other characters that fit those classes so much better, so fighter it was. still, qfit has a lot of cool gadgets and bits and bobs, and I wanted to recognize that in this adaptation of him, so I decided to show that through the rune knight subclass. rune knight fighters can do a lot of cool shit with their runes, enhancing pretty much anything they put their mind to. probably some shit he found scrawled in the horrors of 2b2t and decided to study.

Foolish — this one was hard! the fuck is this guy? I instinctively thought aasimar, but I already made qphil an aasimar, so I played around with different types of genasi and then goliaths, even minotaurs just trying to find something that fit the semi-inhuman sorta innately magical, physically strong being vibes. I think aasimar fit best, so then it was a matter of class. hes a builder! he builds shit. that's what qfoolish does. but he is NOT a mechanic and therefore not an artificer, not musical enough to be a bard, not angry enough to be a barbarian, so what the fuck is he? took a LOT of fucking around, but eventually I remembered the college of creation exists, and I felt it fit well enough, making him an aasimar bard (creation). he draws his power from his builds— he inspires with sight, not song. it's a unique take on a bard, but I've seen some awesome chef bards, so I think this works just fine. he's an architect bard.

Slimecicle — this one was FUN. 100% that's a fucking plasmoid. he's a goopy guy! then I experimented with different bard and rogue classes, thought maybe warlock for his deal with demon rubius, and then decided i couldn't disrespect the juanaflippa song and said fuck it, he can be a bard. again in correlation with the song, I went with valor, since he's telling her great story through the lyrics, keeping her memory alive with it. I DID consider spirits, however, since he actually managed to bring juanaflippa back, however briefly. still, I felt valor fit the bill just a little better. he's a plasmoid bard (valor).

JaidenAnimations — ohhh this one took some thought. I wanted her to be fairly humanoid while still having some subtle unusual traits, and elf was considered but it felt too regal. I almost considered kenku for how she tends to repeat what other people say, but it wasn't right. thought I'd try something a little strange, and I ended up with shifter! specifically wildhunt. class was just as difficult— she wasnt going to be any primarily martial classes, so that cut out a bunch, and she's not really faithful or super devoted, so that took out paladin, warlock, and cleric, and eventually I narrowed it down to sorcerer, picking aberrant mind for their mystery and influence on others. being the only woman in an island full of gay twinks is tough, man. she's a shifter sorcerer (aberrant mind).

Wilbur — half-elf bard (eloquence). this one came pretty quick to me, actually. the bard part is more than obvious, subclass picked for the number of times qwilbur's casually convinced other people to just go with the bit. he's a man of words, and he weaves them well. he can be damn persuasive, mixing in genuine arguments with small white lies, all while playing your heart strings just right. half-elf is almost entirely vibes honestly— human was too bland, elf too spicy, so we met in the middle.

DanTDM — this dude's been gone since the very fucking beginning pretty much. I almost want to make him a rogue just for that, but man, he's the diamond minecart, alright? I grew up watching him. it'd be a disservice not to make him an artificer. from there, alchemist best suited the vibes, since he never really did much of anything machinery-related. he is a human artificer (alchemist).

[msviolacea]

There's a lot of "oh, Baldur's Gate, isn't that game all about sex?" out there - I've seen it on the internet and heard it in conversation - which is fair, that's what the mainstream articles have been about, and let's not lie, most of us around here are all about the sexytimes with pretty people. (Me included, 100000%. And my "romance doesn't make an experience less interesting or serious" rant will be saved for another day.) But anyway ... it's Monday, and I'm avoiding work, so I figured I'd list as many things as I can think of right now that make the game amazing that have nothing to do with actually having sex with someone.

GINORMOUS areas to explore.

There are lore books literally everywhere. If you like reading random bits of in-universe texts, you'll be spoiled.

Have you ever played D&D and wished certain spells had more utility - like Grease, or Sleep, or Create/Destroy Water? You're in luck here! Anything that can either create a ground effect or temporarily distract/take enemies out is OP!

Animated, voiced cut scenes with nearly every single NPC you run across.

At the same time, most of them are not required. Some will give you interesting side quests, extra approval/disapproval from your companions, or interesting information that will give you more options in a future quest, but you don't have to spend hours talking to people unless that's your jam.

In character creation, you don't pick male/female as a gender. You pick from four body types (two small, two large, two with breasts/more slender, two more broad/slightly larger), three sets of pronouns (he/she/they), and several different sets of genitals - mix and match all three categories to your hearts' content. I'm sure there are other things they could have done, but it's the most inclusive character creator I've seen in a major game for sure.

The turn-based combat is a blessing for anyone who struggles with real time combat. Take your time, consider your options, look at things from all angles, sort through your spells and attacks to find the right one.

Or you can remember you picked up that barrel of smoke powder three rooms back, climb up into the rafters of the room, and chuck it into the fire pit in the middle of the room for maximum effect. I cannot overstate how fucking satisfying that is.

Big fucking tiefling horns. Of a variety of shapes!

Your female companions are the tanks/hearty warriors. Your male companions are all delicate fucking flowers, at least until you get Druid Daddy who can turn into a bear.

While optimizing your 4-person party to bring the usual configuration - one tank, one healer, a couple of DPS - is useful, it isn't always necessary. There are some fights where bringing four ranged options is a great idea, as long as you give them some survivability spells or plenty of potions. Sometimes bringing four people who can just barrel their way into a pile of ogres is satisfying. Mix it up!

Okay every companion thus far (I'm still only through act 1 yet, listen I have two games and my partner didn't feel well enough to continue the game where we're the farthest this weekend so I spent my time catching my solo game up) is absolute gold, no duds in the bunch, and the next few bullets will be one awesome thing about each one of them that has nothing to do with romance.

Astarion with the Thief subclass at level 3 literally cannot fail most lockpicking or trap disarming checks unless he rolls a nat 1. He is invisible when stealthed. He can one-shot most low level goblins with sneak attack arrows from range. He is a very bitchy fancy-lad Super Rogue.

Wyll is the Goodest Boy - the speed with which he goes from "I am oathbound to kill you demon!" to "well shit you're just a tiefling guess I'll deliberately fuck up my very dangerous warlock oath for you" is wonderful. He's noble and impetuous and wants to be more than a rich boy and gives nearly everyone the benefit of the doubt. I would die for him.

Karlach does the ADHD idle dance of "I could not stand still if you paid me all the gold in Baldur's Gate" and has the best puppy dog eyes. Also the story tie-in to her rage mechanics is really great and excellent storytelling.

Lae'zel is nigh unkillable if you give her the right stuff. Speccing her as Battlemaster is amazing for controlling the most powerful combatants on the field. Trip Attack has saved my ass so many times, you have no idea.

On paper, Gale should be absolutely insufferable. But somehow the writing and voice acting managed to hit just the right notes of humor and good nature and wizard geek. I'm very impressed.

Shadowheart is a very interesting combination of amoral/self-involved but also compassionate and I find myself fascinated by it. She clearly contains multitudes, and thus far the story is doing a good job of doling out pieces of her at a satisfying pace.

And speaking of interesting moral dichotomies, I absolutely adore that Halsin is both the good influence authority figure and also utterly ruthless when things run afoul of his strongly held belief system. Also thicc, broad-shouldered elf supremacy.

The tieflings you meet in Emerald Grove are directly tied to the D&D adventure "Descent Into Avernus" - as is Wyll! (And I'm sure it has a lot of context for Karlach's story as well, I haven't finished reading it yet.) I'm sure there's more when you get to the actual city of Baldur's Gate, but I'm not there yet. It's just fun to have that as an option to read for backstory about some of the game's characters and situations if you want. It's not required reading, though - cough, Bioware/Dragon Age, cough - everything that happens with them is perfectly understandable without any additional context!

The "Balanced" combat difficulty is a really good mix of fights that take a LOT of strategy and ones that can be easily cheesed.

Have you ever wanted to shove someone off a cliff even though you have like 8 strength? Listen, a 30% chance is STILL A CHANCE, and you have limited bonus action choices. TAKE YOUR SHOT.

... feel free to add your own. I'm still pretty early in the game and can't wait to get to more.

(edited for some slightly better phrasing about the character creation gender options, hopefully)

[bardofhype]

Sinners as D&D Classes & Subclasses!

we back at it again so last night @gregorsamsaautism and i ended up cooking up ideas for what classes the LCB Sinners would be in the D&D universe. not necessarily what they'd want to play as if they partook in the TTRPG- think of it as, essentially, what D&D identities would look like for them. i'll give a few explanations on each one as need be bc i know some of them are gonna need it but just bear with us on this NOTE: this doesn't dive into what races they'd be- that's its entirely own separate thing and this is long enough as is with that said. time to make these guys get more fantasy injected in their bones

Yi Sang- Circle of Stars Druid The man seems to be pretty associated with constellations, at least from a few bits and pieces I've seen here and there, so being able to harness their power in the way that a Circle of Stars druid would let him work at maximum efficiency. I could see him using the Dragon Starry Form often, and his Star Map most definitely takes the form of a scroll covered in numerous constellations. All this, and the fact that being a Druid probably gives him more of a natural resistance to the ills of nature, given the class's ability to control parts of it with magic. And given what we learned about him in Hell's Chicken... budding potatoes is going to be much more common a meal for him.

Faust - Hexblade Warlock

Her namesake literally makes a pact with a demon in her source material. She was going to be a warlock no matter what, but Hexblade feels like the one that most closely fits her. Dealing in hexes, curses, and starting out at level 1 already being proficient in medium armor, shields, and martial weapons- even if she does not fully utilize these, the knowledge still rests in her regardless, and that's not to say she will never utilize them. ... also Hex Nail EGO for Faust exists.

Don Quixote - Oath of Vengeance Paladin

Okay, hear me out here. I am of the opinion that a paladin's oath does not necessarily have to be one that's religious-coded, if that makes sense. Oaths can be made to anyone and anything- it doesn't fully matter to what at the end of the day, all that matters is how much power the oathmaker draws from it. Don Quixote swears upon justice and felling evildoers all across the city. We know not what exactly is fueling this sense of justice and heroism (or at least I don't, bc I haven't read her source material- but then again, given how much Project Moon's taking a lot of creative liberties in how they're adapting these stories, that may or may not matter. anyways, back to the matter at hand), but I feel like justice and vengeance can come hand-in-hand in some situations. Both deal with wanting to right a wrong in some way, whether it be more general or more personal. And a part of me feels like Don Quixote's enacting a vengeance she has against the inherent evil of the City by bringing what she feels is "justice" to those she can currently help. And stars know she believes in that enough to swear an oath upon it. And also I just think she deserves the Avenging Angel feature of the oath.

Ryoshu - Arcane Trickster Rogue

I don't think I need to really explain this one. She had to be able to sneak into the casino without anyone noticing she didn't have the Tingtang disguise on somehow, right? And everyone else about her feels like it screams "Arcane Trickster" to me. I dunno. Alternatively, Assassin Rogue.

Meursault - Battle Master Fighter

He's only in it for the Improved Combat Superiority features and nothing else. That's all he needs. He's going to wreck shop in the most average way possible. And y'know what, good for him.

Hong Lu - Lunar Sorcerer

You know he would.

Heathcliff - Battle Smith Artificer

Okay really hear me out here- Actually, no, there's not that big of an explanation for this one. For one thing, and I really must stress this, but Heathcliff isn't stupid dumb muscle, like I've seen a few people in the fandom interpret him as. He's pretty damn smart- being able to perfectly pick apart the circumstances of death for a fallen L Corp branch's few survivors & that stunt he pulled at the casino should be proof enough of that. Second, Artificers are best at making defenses and coming up with ways to magically attune their weapons to hit harder. And let me tell you, I am shocked at how many hits default LCB Sinner Heathcliff can take, and his Smackdown skill scares the shit out of me with how much Power it can stack, especially if paired with his Bodysack EGO. Third, Battle Smith comes with a little Steel Defender guy and I think Heathcliff deserves a little guy. Okay, maybe this was a big explanation.

Ishmael - multiclass of Oath of the Open Seas Paladin & Swashbuckler Rogue

That's right, Matt Mercer's official Homebrew's getting involved in this. Admittedly, part of this is because "oh hey there's two marine-themed classes here and Ishmael's Ishmael, this'll be funny". But there are genuine reasons for both of these. Oath of the Open Seas has a feature that allows you to push foes away by 10 feet, which can bludgeon them if they end up hitting a wall. Have you seen how many of Ishmael's attack animations involve pushing foes back with a bash-push of her shield? (Default LCB Sinner and LCCB Assistant Manager are both very guilty of this.) Not just that, but the lore and tenets of the Oath itself seem to just... fit Ishmael rather well. And Swashbuckler Rogue? Everything it can do feels like skills Ishmael could've learned while on the voyage. And combined with the Paladin's spellcasting and the Oath of the Open Sea in particular needing Charisma in some aspects, the two of them just go together like peas in a pod.

Rodion - College of Eloquence Bard

You know she would. Alternatively, College of Tragedy, perhaps once we get to learn more about her and she opens up some more.

Sinclair - Path of the Ancestral Guardian Barbarian

Shoutout to Grotto (aka gregorsamsaautism) in particular for the idea of Sinclair being a Barbarian. Imagine fighting a guy who's experiencing pure rage but he's also shaking and crying and screaming the whole time "Why Path of the Ancestral Guardian as subclass?" How else would he know Demian in this universe and have a strange and special gay relationship with him, with him being the unknowable deity granting him his power? (don't boo me i'm right /lh)

Outis - multiclass of Battle Master Fighter and Way of the Long Death Monk

She has old woman war criminal energies. You know she would. And unlike Meursault, she classed into Battle Master Fighter for all it's worth.

Gregor - Swarmkeeper Ranger

I don't need to explain this one. You know he would. (Probably not by choice, but still.) (also shoutout to Grotto in particular again for coming up with this. my old idea was circle of spores druid gregor but swarmkeeper gregor slapped ass)

Dante - Order Domain Cleric

Because this group needs at least one person in a dedicated healer role. And since they're the executive manager, why not try and act like it? Alternatively, Life Domain Cleric. Also, it would be very very funny if, before this whole amnesia business, they were an Order of the Ghostslayer Blood Hunter, until life kicked their ass and everyone else bullied them into a cleric.

[utilitycaster]

Is there any class/subclass you’d like to see a D20 cast member play? One of the Intrepid Heroes or otherwise? (Also, I always love seeing the RQG love because that’s what got me into APs!)

I used to have a wild-ass spreadsheet of all the AP characters I knew by class and I suppose I still do but haven't been updating it, which is to say, it took me a minute to think through what the Intrepid Heroes cast have done; it's also wild in that technically, they've only done 5 settings as the intrepid heroes and at most 6 characters (since Emily and Zac used their backup ACOC characters and Siobhan and Murph played new characters in TUC 2). And on top of that, there's sidequests, NADDPod, and guesting.

I would actually love to see Brennan play a wizard. With the exception of Raphaniel he tends to play martials as a player which is interesting because he does wizards so well.

I would also like to see Lou as a warlock in...not Neverafter. Lou is fantastic at the charisma casters so I'd like to see him give another run at it in a season I enjoyed more, to be totally honest.

Emily has only ever played cleric as a base class for a multiclass (for sorcerer, monk, and wizard) and I'd like to see straight-up cleric especially since she's talked about being a religion major while not being a religious person.

Zac is famously a fan of martial classes and did a great job as paladin so I'd love to see him take on ranger, since he's done most others at least in multiclass.

I actually most want to see Siobhan and Ally in more non-D&D systems. Siobhan was great as Imelda Pulse in Mentopolis and it felt like Ally's style is best in looser systems as well like Mythic and Monsterhearts - I'm excited to see them in a Kids on Bikes hack for Never Stop Blowing Up.

Murph is tough because I'm just like. Murph I know you are busy but could you do a sidequest PLEASE. Also, weirdly, with the exception of Kugrash and Cody, who have this script flipped, he tends to play full casters as super unhinged (see: naddpod) and most of his martials as at least somewhat more hinged (Riz, Barry, Theo). I would like to see him play an absolutely bonkers martial class character.

Finally: would love to them bring back a NUMBER of people but Surena Marie and Jasmine Bhullar are top of my list of not strictly Dropout people; I also didn't love Mice & Murder but I'd LOVE to see the Dropout folks who haven't been in anything else for D20 come back.