#(im sorry im being very snarky right now but im doing this to cope)

[cafedanslanuit]

i think i got an ex but i forgot him + isagi, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, sae, rin, reo & nagi

♡   —   tags/warnings: gn reader + no pronouns, a bit of drama because the topic is exes after all but it's not angst, pettiness, jealousy, slightly unhealthy coping mechanisms but nothing too tw

♡   —   a/n: aaaaa this is my first blue lock hcs, i think! i was going to post another one first but this came to me suddenly so here you go <3 hope u enjoy it!

♡   —  masterlist

ISAGI   ―   i... im sorry but he’s the type to ask you to reconsider the break up,  whether it ended badly or not, no matter who was in the wrong. you see, he has a plan on how you can really make it work this time around! it only works if you carefully follow these steps and new guidelines, of course. worse part is it actually makes sense, and you could foresee a better relationship you got along with his plan. he's pretty convincing so you might take him up on that idea. however, if you don’t, he will accept it and try his best to move on, which is focusing intensely on his training to try to keep his mind away from you.

BACHIRA   ―   tries to be friends. just because the relationship didn't work out, it doesn't mean you can't still spend time together as friends, right? friends go on dates sometimes, all friendly, of course! nothing wrong with a couple of friends staying in for a movie night, cuddling, or sharing dessert in a nice little cafe. if he takes your hand, it’s only out of security, so please don’t think he has any ulterior motives! …anyway, it takes him some time to adjust to the new reality of your relationship but still, he will try his best to support you as much as he did when he was your boyfriend. if it ended badly, he'll still try to be as friendly as possible, but a couple of snarky remarks may fall from his lips without him being able to do anything about it.

KUNIGAMI   ―   he’s very respectful about the whole ordeal. after everything is said and done, he texts you a couple of times days later, genuinely asking how you're doing and it’s very clear he cares about your answer. if you need anything from him, he will offer his help, no questions asked and no retribution needed. after all, he still cares about you, even if it didn’t work out between you too. if the relationship ended badly, he will still be very respectful towards you but try his best to avoid you. a nod and a greeting is all you will get because, soon enough, he will pretend someone is calling him and he’ll go his own way.

CHIGIRI   ―   for a good couple of months, he’s going to be very uncomfortable around you. what haunts him the most is how difficult it is to get used to the change of dynamics between the two of you; now he’s not sure on how to act or what he’s allowed or not allowed to say anymore. if it ended badly, it's very likely you'll be on the receiving end of some ill quips and snarky comments about you, hitting you just where it hurts. he'll deliver them with the most unamused face, his eyebrow slightly raising as he waits-- no, as he almost invites you to take him on the fight. and if you do, be ready to lose.

SAE   ―   the moment you decide to call it quits, he completely walks out of your life. from that moment on, you won't hear from him ever again. doesn't matter how fast you check your phone after you've said your goodbyes, you're blocked on all social media platforms, both public and private. to make things worse, your shared google photos album is gone and you're even banned on the official *team* account. hell, he’ll even report the photos of the two of you together so they’re taken down from your account too. doesn't matter if it ended on good and bad terms, only time you'll ever see him again is on a promotional ad for his soccer team on the street or something alike. if he’s asked about you on interviews, he’ll only say it’s not “relevant” and ask for the next question.

RIN   ―   like his brother, he doesn't take it well either. he's the type to go through your social media at least once a day to see if you posted anything new, and if there's any nrw information he can get from it. so far, he's learnt you've been going out clubbing more often and that you've had a pizza date with one of your friends. he recognized them because on the photo, he could see they were wearing a ring, same ring that shows up on a photo of you too circa 2015. if you have an anonymous questions social media, he miiiight ask you on anon why did you break up with him. only for fun, it's not like he truly cares about your life, evidently. all of this happens while he ignores your greetings in person, feigning he doesn't hear you. you'd never catch him yearning to have you back, and he's gonna make sure of that.

REO   ―   new year, new model, baby. the best way to get over someone is to get someone else-- at least for him. he might’ve begged you for another chance at first, but once you make him understand you’re truly done, he lets his petty side come out. a couple of days after your final talk, you will have a front-row seat to mysterious instagram stories featuring two drinks, another one with two movie tickets and, of course, a photo taken from the passenger seat of himself driving one of his fancier cars. the way his forearms flex underneath his expensive shirt really gives the photo the edge it needed. but, is he truly dating someone else? probably not. but he’s going to spend every resource he had to make you think he’s replaced you. even if this may all seem unnecesarily mean, he's also the quickest to agree if you ever want to try again. whisper sweet words close to his ear and he's back to his righteous place by your side in no time.

NAGI   ―   it’s heartbreaking how he acts like he couldn’t care less about your breakup. it seems like the heart-to-heart conversation that ended in you sobbing against his chest while he stroke your back in silence never happened, because when you see him a couple of days later, he raises a hand and greets you, just like he would any other day. to nagi, he’s taken the best decision and is acting the best in an already shitty situation, whether the breakup was amicable or not. he really doesn't want to waste his time in pettiness and resentment, especially after getting to love you for as long as he did. however, his actions may unadventerly hurt you and give you a false image on what’s going on in his heart.

[nasa-writing-club]

Being with you

pairing: mattheo riddle x male reader

length: 1.2k

warning: pining..? im not sure lol

summary: after a long day of OWLs, you are exhausted. What you need right now is a good cuddle, and who better to give you one than your long time best friend Mattheo Riddle.

authors note: it’s a pretty fluffy fic

————————————————————————

Exams were always hard for you. You never really learned how to cope with the amount of stress they caused and how to handle the anxiety caused by studying, worrying, and not enough sleep. All you knew how to do was shut down and that wasn’t very productive. Luckily, you had your best friend.

If you were to ask anyone else at Hogwarts, they’d most likely tell you Mattheo Riddle was cold, sarcastic, and overall very rude. And while you wouldn’t necessarily deny any of those “accusations”, throughout the last few years you’ve come to learn that there is so much more to him than his snarky personality.

When the two of you are alone it feels as if a few walls come down. He allows himself to relax and not have to worry about upholding the image and persona everyone expects of him. That Mattheo is your best friend. That’s the one you are looking for as you rush into the Great Hall right as dinner is ending.

Scanning the room, you spot Mattheo almost immediately. He’s sitting with your usual crowd of Draco, Theo, Blaise, and Enzo. All of them look to be finishing up so you decide there is no harm in joining them even if it’s just for a few brief moments.

Taking a seat, you feel Mattheo’s arm wrap around your waist, pulling you to sit closer to him. This was normal. He does this to you all the time. Never once have you thought this gesture could mean something more. Nope. Never. This is just how your friendship was.

Nevertheless, it still made you blush. You couldn’t help it. You’ve had on-and-off feelings for Mattheo since the day you met and you’ve come to the terms that you guys will only ever be friends. You’re fine with that.

Though it did feel nice for Mattheo to hold you like this. You could feel his hand begin to slip under your untucked shirt, tracing circles on your side. Whoever started this whole thing about Mattheo being nothing but a cold-hearted Slytherin has got it all wrong because-

“Y/N. Hello?? Earth to Y/N?”

This snapped you out of your thoughts. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Theo rolls his eyes. “I was asking you about your charms essay. Have you completed it?”

You sigh as you just reach into your book bag and pull out the parchment with your essay written on it. “You want to know if you can copy off of me,” you state plainly, tired of his shit.

“I want to know if I can copy off of you,” Theo confirms as he takes your essay. “Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll change some words and whatnot so it isn’t the same.”

Right as you’re about to respond with a snarky comment of your own, you feel Mattheo squeeze on your side. You let out an involuntary squeak as you turn to face him. “What is it?” you question, giving him a confused look.

Mattheo doesn’t respond right away. It seems as if he is scanning you. He looks you up and down for a few moments before turning to the group.

“Y/N and I are going to head up to the room to study. We’ll catch you guys later.” And with that, Mattheo is standing up, collecting his stuff as well as yours. He looks to you impatiently. “Well.. don’t get sit there.”

Confused as ever, you say a short goodbye to your friends as you leave with Mattheo.

Once the two of you are out of the Great Hall and away from others, you stop Mattheo. “What the hell was that?” You asked, coming off a bit more rude than initially intended.

Mattheo proceeds to look at you as if what he is doing is obvious. “What do you mean?”

You let out a frustrated huff. “Mattheo you know what I am referring to.”

“Oh, you mean abruptly leaving the dinner table?” He had his signature smile as he stepped closer to you, cupping your face in his hand and proceeding to caress your cheek gently. “Well, it seemed clear to me that my pretty boy needed something to help him destress,” he says in a teasing way but you know he’s being truthful.

The heat grew in your cheeks as you leaned into his touch ever so slightly. You gave him a playful glare. “What have I told you about calling me that?”

He laughs, pulling his hand away from your face but in turn, grabbing your hand. “So you’re not denying that you’re tired and overworked?”

“Mattheo-“

“Oh don’t Mattheo me,” he interrupts. “I know you like the back of my hand and I know how you get during exam season.” With your hand in his, he continues to walk towards the Slytherin Common Room, dragging you along with him. “I also know that you don’t take care of yourself so that responsibility naturally falls onto me.”

While you allow yourself to be brought back to the common room, you can’t help but smile.

Once you’re both up in the dorms, you kick off your shoes as you go lie down in Mattheo’s bed. “I hate to say that you were right but..” you take a deep breath as you close your eyes. “I think I did need this.”

A low chuckle escapes Mattheo’s lips as he joins you in the bed. “Told you,” he mutters as he brings the blankets to cover the two of you.

Nothing is better than this in your opinion. After a long day, correction, a long week of exams and studying, and overall stress, just being held and cared for felt amazing. Would you ever admit all of this to Mattheo? No, probably not. You know he would tease you relentlessly but you consider for a moment that maybe he needed this just as much as you do.

The sensation of two hands firmly on your waist brought you out of your thoughts. “Mattheo what are you doing?” you ask, unable to hold back the sound of your giggles.

“Getting comfortable,” he responded, once again as if it was so clear.

You feel yourself being gently lifted and brought over to be lying on top of Mattheo. Your head in his chest and an arm wrapped around your waist holding you firmly in place.

“There,” Mattheo said as he began to run his fingers through your hair. “I worry about you Y/N.. you walked into the Great Hall today with bags under your eyes and you could barely focus on a conversation happening right in front of you. I worry for the day you go on with your life and then I won’t be there to take care of you.”

Your heart skips a beat when he says this. This is the Mattheo you know and love and to hear that he’s stressed about you breaks your heart in a way.

Looking up at him, you mumble, “I’m sorry I worry you.. but I don’t think I’d ever leave your side.”

“Oh is that so?” he responds, laughing a bit.

You smile and nod. “You’re never getting rid of me Matty.”

“Good,” he states as he gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I can’t imagine living a life without you in it.”

[lettuceflower]

Alright, now that the episode has officially aired and everyone has seen the iconic Akito Flying Choke Slam™, here’s a compilation I would like to call:

Season 3 Moments I am Worried About 

(aka moments that are already dramatic enough but the director is probably going to turn them up to an 11 because more intense = better, apparently. 🙄)

spoilers under the cut of course.

kyo’s dream

kagura SLAP

haru’s rage

ren shenanigans 🤪🔪

attempted stab 

the actual stab

tohru’s cliff fall

kyo and yuki FINAL FIGHT

[ikevamp-shrine]

It’s a match up baby

Hi there love! I just say your post saying u do matchupz 😱😱❤❤❤ i got so excited so now im here requesting one❤🌈🔥hope u dont mind🥰 okay so... ❤🥰 i am a aries, infp, Hufflepuff female 🦊 i am shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. Okay ima do this in 3 asks hope ya dont mind❤ 1/3... ❤🥰  I am pretty aloof and blunt, i like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating. I will definitely be the person making jokes at inappropriate times and something about inappropriate things (its one of my coping mechanisms) 😂 2/3... I love my friends and family and will fight anyone how threatens them, although when it comes to me you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly cant stand up for myself). I swear like a sailor although i am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real. I tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, okay one more 3/3 + one more🔥🙌sorry if this is TMI...I enjoy my own alone time and i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club) i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.  I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).🙈 Thanx so much dear ❤ Sorry if this is TMI🔥Cant wait to see who i get matched with 🌈🎀

Thank you for requesting @nad-zeta . I hope you enjoy and have a good rest of your day.

I MATCH YOU WITH...

Napoleon Bonaparte

Charming people and getting them to open up is one of his things he does ya know? So your difficulty in getting to know is no problem to him

Napoleon is also a very patient man so you being shy does not effect him since he is used to it from being around Isaac 

He honestly finds it absolutely adorable 

He would understand bottling up your emotions since he is so used to putting others before himself (including other’s emotions before his own) but he would do every trick in the book to get you to slowly open up to him and to get you to talk about your emotions, wants, and needs

He would find your stubbornness incredibly sexy as he loves a challenge from time to time you would keep him on his toes

Your gentleness and kindness would always bring a tender smile to his face and make his eyes soften with adoration

He would roll his eyes at your goofy, fun loving, and over dramatic side but would ten out of ten join you in your antics then tackle you to the ground all while having one of his famed laughing fits

He can’t help but feel pride well up in him at your bluntness and confidence when you tell someone how it is but at the same time would inch closer just- and only just- incase you need him

Napoleon can’t help but to get turned on by your teasing but if you go too far he will quickly turn it around on you and leave you like a puddle of goo

He always snickers at your sarcastic and snarky comments unless they are directed towards then he will once more leave you breathless and begging for more

The first time you made a self deprecating joke... he was a little taken back- why was such a strong, beautiful, amazing woman joking about herself in a self deprecating way? 

He figured out after a little that your way of joking was unique and soon found humor in it himself- though he will always kiss you hard and tell you how perfect you are if he feels as if you start believing the jokes you say about yourself

Napoleon finds your badly timed inappropriate jokes endearing though he will still give you “the look” as if telling you not right now even if he is laughing hysterically on the inside

When I tell you this man would be head over heals in love with you when he seeing your protectiveness I mean it

The first time he sees your protective side he feels as if the whole floor falls out from under him because how is this woman so perfect? Like damn girl get you some. Go off hun- he finds it extremely hot.

Don’t expect to walk the next day lol

he finds your inability to stand up for yourself confusing (since you’re so quick to protect others) but won’t question it cause you won’t need to defend yourself... after all he will protect you with everything he has

He would absolutely make you put a quarter in the swear jaw each time you say a naughty word though he would see how hard you work to keep your mouth under control so he would go easy on you time to time 

You blush easily? He is going to use that to his advantage (after all he thinks your blush is so cute so he loves seeing it)

He would appreciate your go-with-the-flow approach to things and your ability to forgive and forget so easily

He would respect your alone time aka leave you alone when you wanted him to- no questions asked

Dislike crowds but you both need to go out in public? You better believe this man already made a map of the least populated streets in the city and if you had to go in a bigger crowd he would snake his arm around you and put on his most imitating expression to make people part like the red sea around you both

He doesn’t like loud noises either- war and all- so when there happens to be a thunder storm, a holiday that people have fireworks with, or if it’s just too loud in the mansion that day he would pick you up, carry you to his room, and snuggle in the bed with a blanket over both of your heads to try and block out the sound

He will even cover your ears with his hands if the sounds get too much for you

He knows everyone has insecurities and fears, and that it’s normal, and he can’t just kiss them away or say a few pretty words and they will disappear, he knows that, but he would want nothing more than for you to feel good about yourself and for all your fears to disappear all at once

He would see himself in you when you showed your calm and confident side (remember children confidence is sexy- and if you're not confident fake it until you make it)

he would have to hold himself back or he would end up jumping you and taking you were you stood

Napoleon would also keep you so busy- inside the bedroom and out- that you wouldn’t have time to feel or be awkward, but if you happen to be at anytime he can’t help but pat your head at how adorable you are

Other Matches:...

Leonardo da Vinci

You two would definitely have your ups and downs but he would always respect your space. He would find your protectiveness attractive and wouldn’t make you open up to him- instead he would wait until you were ready to talk. You would probably find his clutter and sleep schedule annoying but would get over it or learn to work around it. His flirty side would defiantly frustrate you (mainly because you wouldn't stop blushing while you were around him). You two would butt heads with when it comes to stubbornness but Leonardo would find your persistence sexy. He doesn't mind your not so PG mouth.

He would join in on making self depreciating jokes, so both of you would end up spending a long time just going back and forth absolutely roasting each other/ yourselves. He would encourage you to stand up for yourself but will always be there when you need him. You want to cuddle? This personal heater is yours for only the small price of a kiss. And cue the awkward, blushing mess Leonardo fell in love with.

[silvanable]

Match-Up : Ikemen Revolution

@nad-zeta

Hi there dear! I legit loved your ikesen matchup up so her so here i am asking for an ikevamp matchup ❤❤ hope u dont mind❤❤

🥰 i am a aries, infp, Hufflepuff female 🦊 i am shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. I am pretty aloof and blunt, i like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating.

I will definitely be the person making jokes at inappropriate times and something about inappropriate things (its one of my coping mechanisms) 😂 I love my friends and family and will fight anyone how threatens them, although when it comes to me you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly cant stand up for myself). I swear like a sailor although i am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real.

i love nature and animals (i love my lil bunnies and dogs), i love working out/going to the gym #gym is life (it is one of my coping mechanisms and has helped me slowly overcome an eating disorder)😂i enjoy cooking (i am now officially a chef), wine tasting (fancy way of saying getting very tipsy of different wines most nights), spending time with friends (especially if there is tea to be spilt) although i do need lots of alone time to recharge my social battery, i like conspiracies, reading, writing (Fanfics and im busy with my Masters in nutrition >“<), romcoms, and  sleeping. As much as i love spending time outdoor i also enjoy lazing around the house being a lazy potato.

I definitely zone out and daydream all the freaken timeI tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 My face will give away what i am thinking. i enjoy my own alone time and i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club). I am a picky eater despite my degree in cooking (i basically only eat candy, carbs and protein), i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.  I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, like no matter how badly you hurt me.

🙈 Thanx so much dear ❤ Sorry if this is TMI and for making u read all that again🙈🙈🙈🔥Cant wait to see who i get matched with 🌈🎀

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

i’m glad to see you in my submissions again! it makes me very happy knowing you enjoyed the ikesen match up!

i hope i don’t disappoint with this ikerev one. enjoy!

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

↪  GUIDELINES

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

ー FENRIR GODSPEED : ACE OF SPADES

i can see a relationship between you and fenrir because there are a lot of areas in compliments with personalities.

you said you were a shy person who does not open up easily, but you can be read by your emotions with a good eye.

fenrir takes a whole 24 hours to crack down on that calm and shy little persona you got going before he has you laughing in tears on the floor.

sorry i don’t make the rules i just rely them.

he took it as a personal challenge to get you to smile and laugh and feel comfortable around the black army headquarters.

so yes, he would try and do everything imaginable in a single day to get you to open up.

not to mention you are also a moderator, with a milder set personality and very gentle.

which pretty much balances out the wilder and more chaotic side that fenrir has been known to have.

that being said, you happened to be a very goofy, fun loving, and playful person so you also compliment his wild side.

to put it simply, you are either the mellow aid or you are the chaos instigator, there is no in between.

i’m going to say it right now, gym buddies.

you love to work out, the moment fenrir finds that out he’s there asking if you want to join him on his morning routine.

he would love the company anyways and maybe to show off a lil bit.

between you and fenrir, i can imagine a lot of food going missing.

especially sweets. oh god all the sweets.

not to call you out but both y’all are carb junkies, which is to make up for the exercise of you running from the trouble you both stir up.

going to be honest, the first time you open up a can of the good ol’ sailor everyone, and i mean everyone is surprised.

there lovely, gentle, fun-loving alice is in the courtyard swearing higher than magic tower.

to say the least chutney learned her lesson after bearing the front of it not to try and steal your stuff.

half the black army had come running out with the first shout worried they were being attacked and you were in trouble.

instead they ended up finding alice 2.0 with a slightly startled raccoon, your notebook and pens all over the ground with you squatting to pick it all up.

fenrir was shocked… and that shock broke down into loud laughter a moment later.

“with a tone like that even the red army will be running from you!”

he will never let you, or anyone for that matter, forget it.

on another note, despite all the wild and troublesome things you two get into much to the display of mother sirius you do have your mellow moments.

cuddles. all the time.

while fenrir seems to have the attitude of the extrovert on EXTROVERT™ he has his moments of calm and quiet.

your need to recharge is especially something that causes him to mellow out, he doesn’t want to push you too far.

he understands you need alone alone time too, so he’s willing to back up but most times he’s spending your recharge time to mellow out with you.

absolutely willing to spend time you with in bed just to snuggle into you and hold you close.

walks in the garden to hear about your conspiracies, what you’ve read recently, or what you’ve been writing.

would bring shu shu with him constantly because he found out you loved dogs and he must bring a tiny floof for your enjoyment plus shu shu loves you so.

expect this man to ask you to cook for him.

the moment he finds out you’re a chef that’s it, he wants to taste everything you’ve ever made or even thought about making.

his support and encouragement are WAY out there in the best and loving way possible.

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

[occultsleutha]

SHIPPING INFO: Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse?

The Hellblazer canon ones, of course. But out of those, I’m just gonna say JohnZee since the other characters are not reoccuring DC characters that anyone would even think to RP, lol. My rarepair is JohnClark, but don’t get me started because I will literally never shutup about why this ship is Poetic Cinema.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

One Night Stands: John is a horny fool. Bonus points if your character does the walk of shame the morning after. It’s okay, he won’t tell, he likes dirty little secrets. ; )

Fluff: Naturally, John takes a long time to open up but once he does, he’s somewhat of a  ( purposeful ) cornball. This is the hardest level to Unlock(TM).

Sexual Tension Denial: John’s doesn’t have the worst reputation. I’m sure there’s still a lot of superheroes that wanna smash but tell themselves they don’t because they’re trying to upkeep their sense of morals. But John knows the truth. >: )

Angst: John’s a hard person to love, not just because he has commitment issues and 7 suitcases of unresolved trauma, but everyone he loves gets killed because of him, so. Sorry in advanced.

Dating Experiments: Dating period that doesn’t really work out for whatever reason. Could turn out awkward, or neutral, or whatever you want.

Crash and Burn: The “We loved each other but it still didn’t work. We tried, though, we really did.” trope fucks me up.

Toxic Relationships: The nature of John’s past trauma, the traumatizing job he has right now, and his coping mechanisms are a recipe for disaster. John has a lot of anger, and outbursts, and shuts down a lot. One of his defense mechanisms is crossing the line and pissing you off so you’ll leave him and as a result, have a safer life. Relationship could flop depending on how the other person responds to him, or it could struggle along until the other person finally realizes John isn’t going to help himself.

Bitter Ex: Dump him, he’s trash. Throw his clothes out the window, try to smash his head with a beer bottle. Be bitter about it and have snarky banter whenever you cross paths!

Selfless Breakup: John breaks up with your muse because he wants to keep you safe. John admitting this is optional. 

Breakups: Break up with John, break his heart. He will probably let you because he thinks he deserves it. But maybe one day he’ll get really drunk and knock on your door at 3AM crying about it. :’ )

 Booty Calls: John is down for any kind of sex, threesomes, non-humans, etc. I don’t really RP smut though, but you’re more than welcome to. Or make implications if the time comes for it.

Unrequited: Honestly, you could do better, please don’t pine over this fool.

Really anything. Weird shit happens all the time. Shoot me your ideas.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

John is anywhere from 35 - 60 on this blog. John won’t really be interested being in a committed relationship with someone significantly younger than him. I’d say 10 years younger is the absolute max. If your muse is 35+, he won’t care that much. 

Are you selective when shipping?

John’s compatibility is hard to match. He doesn’t really seek out committed relationships, and if he does, he does it on the basis that he doesn’t expect it to be long term. 

He is sociable and flirty when he has good drinking days, but he’s not that willing to get vulnerable for other people. Especially since he gets everyone killed when they become part of his life. 

John also doesn’t think he deserves love, among other issues related to trauma.

If anyone is interested in John they’re going to need to be really patient and actually TRY to understand who he is instead of making assumptions on his reputation. He lives a VERY different life than normal people, the rules that apply to the occult and everything associated do not always match with the real world. He has to make difficult choices daily and he’s not always proud of them. Your muse has to understand that they’re not entirely in a place to judge, and may not entirely ever understand.

PATIENCE.

Also be ready to take on a lot of emotional baggage.

 Are you attracted to habitual smoking and drinking? 

If your muse is not a Good Character a long-term committed relationship will probably not last. John can be terrible on his bad days, but at his core he needs someone that fosters positive emotions and will push him to be better. He always reaches out to people that carry the kind of light he wishes he had. John regresses very easily, he can’t last long in environments where negativity festers. He’s not strong enough to commit to people that are as broken as him; he’s much better giving them help and sending them on their way. But even the “bad” ships are still ships, so.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

anything involving genital mention i guess??

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

@hraunwyf because loki, an immortal goddess, falling in love with someone like john constantine is nothing short of dramatic and spicy

@cardshcrp two idiots and maybe future exes ; )

[ FREE SPACE FOR ANY AND ALL CLARKS WINKWONK, ]

There are other blogs I’m mutuals with where John flirts w/ them, and has had some spicy stuff but im probably not active enough for them to have gotten far in development nfkndg

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Up to you.

How often do you like to ship?

John isn’t the “shippy” type, so I never really prioritize it.

Are you multiship?

Sure, there’s enough trash man Johnny to go around if you’re really that eager to ruin your life,

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Ship-less.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

JohnClark. I’m the captain of the ship and I will go down with it honorably,

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Flirt with John and see where it goes. 

Message me about it if you want to explore a ‘what-if,’ those conversations are fun.

Tagged by:   @pathtotruth Tagging:   anyone.