#probably anything with the knife is gonna be soooo bad

[violet-fire-cat]

👀

Hehe I'm so glad I got sent a few of these! I'm gonna have fun rambling about aus now! Lots of rambling. I'm not kidding. This one at least is uh- long. Oops.

As I said before, a lot of my AUs are Ethubs focused, but hopefully you guys don't mind that! 😅

Soooo, let's see, which one should I start with, hmmmmmm. Let's go with one I was talking about with a friend a lot a few weeks ago!

And that would be -

Assassin Creed AU 🗡️ Well- it's inspired by Assassin's Creed anyway. I am not well versed enough on the series lore to do anything that sticks to it too closely. I wanted to play around with ideas a bit anyway. But I started playing one of the games again a while ago and that's where the ideas came from.

Assassin AUs have been done before, yes. But this one is mine!

Etho is an assassin, somewhere in the 18th/19th century, and has been with the Assassin's Brotherhood for most of his life. He's very good at what he does. He's smart, quick, and stealthy. Like a ghost with a knife. You won't know he's there until his blade has found it's way into your throat.

The Brotherhood consists of various other Hermits, including; Doc - retired assassin now serving as the groups main medic Tango - his targets often go out with a bang. or with fire. Grian - death from above Cleo - master of poisons and deadly concoctions Impulse - weaponsmith, where you go for a new knife or gun Zedaph - creator of gadgets and nifty tools and Mumbo - the spymaster. Kinda. Not really. Far too squeamish for assassin work. So he handles information gathering, sorting out jobs and targets, etc

They work together to take out criminals and other bad people who are causing issues in the area. As well as probably aiming to solve some sort of ancient mystery like in the games. (Though I haven't figured that part out yet.)

The story is mostly focused on Etho, a lot of what I have is about his and Bdubs' relationship too, but there's other stuff as well. Rambling continues under the cut ~

Etho doesn't interact with civillians much. But then he meets Bdubs. Bdubs is not affiliated with the Brotherhood. He's a craftsman. He works with wood, leather, and sometimes metal, making tools and clothes mostly, but weaopns too, and selling them in his little shop. Etho goes there on a whim looking for quick repairs or a replacement.

Bdubs is a pretty ordinary guy just going about his life. He has no idea what's in store for him when he meets Etho that day.

Etho is- odd. Tall and mysterious, and dressed in strange clothes. Bdubs doesn't know what to make of him. But treats him like any other customer. He does what's asked of him, Etho pays well. And he finds himself with a regular visitor.

Etho isn't entirely sure why he keeps going back there. He knows other people with the same skillset that he could go to instead. But there's something about Bdubs... There's something drawing Etho to him in a way he's never really experienced before.

Gradually, they become friends. And with time, that friendship progresses. Etho slowly falls in love with Bdubs, and realises that he's so screwed. He's never been in love before. And these- these- emotions. Are not easy to deal with! He doesn't know how to handle Bdubs being so gentle with him, so kind and smiling so sweetly.

And. Yeah. Things develop. A very touch starved Etho craves the gentleness and kindness that Bdubs gives him so easily. Etho has friends, sure, but this is different. Someone detatched from the violence of his work. Someone willing to care for him and love him despite all that he is. It's like nothing he's ever experienced before.

Bdubs never expected to get tangled up with someone like Etho. Danger surrounds him. Etho could leave one day and just. Never come back. But behind all that. Behind the layers of Trained Killer. There's a sweet, slightly shy guy that Bdubs can't help but love.

It's not all plain sailing though. No no. There's drama and chaos too of course. The nature of Etho's work kind of requires it. One time Etho returns to base badly hurt, and in a state of 'I thought I was going to die and all I wanted was to see you again,' he's asking Doc, who's looking after him, for Bdubs. Another time, Bdubs gets captured by the bad guys and Etho and the other assassin's have to rescue him. There's heartbreak as events leave Etho thinking that Bdubs doesn't want to see him anymore. And the difficulty of tracking down an assassin who doesn't want to be found. Etho becomes over protective at times, which Bdubs isn't fond of. But panic ensues when that protectiveness leads to Etho hurting Bdubs accidentally. Bdubs doesn't know what to think of seeing Etho kill someone. Knowing it happens is one thing, actually seeing it happen is another.

There's ups and downs, and I want there to be some overarching mission that Etho and the rest of the Assassin's are working towards. But I don't know what that is yet. I need to brainstorm and play the games more I think.

However, meanwhile, in the present day. Another young man, funnily enough also known as 'Etho', has somehow gotten himself roped into an investigation being done on his ansestor. A- distant cousin. Or something. He thinks. But the guy was an assassin. Which is cool. Fancy technology he'd never heard of allows him to relive the 'genetic memories' of the assassin. See what he experienced and learn about his life. About the things he did, the people he knew, and the events he was a part of. Hoping it'll help them find answers to something that's going on now.

This Etho, nerdy computer science graduate Etho, is very confused but overall rather fascinated by it all. Though he realises quickly there's a lot more at stake here than facts and figures about centuries old history. He learns a lot about his assassin ancestor and the life he lived. Maybe... Maybe too much. He's not sure that he wanted to know about the more- private parts of the guys life. It's interesting that the man the assassin was in love with looked a lot like one of the technicians working on this investigation, though. It's probably just a coincidence. The odds of it being anything else are far, far too small. But he is rather handsome, so surely you can't blame Etho for having a bit of a crush on him...

And- I am going to stop there or I could ramble all night dfghj. I love this AU a lot, if you couldn't tell. I'm probably forgetting things, but this is already more than enough to get an idea of how things go! There's assassins! And drama! And romance! And it's so much fun!

Thank you Anon for giving me an excuse to ramble endlessly about my AU! If you want to ask more about this au though then please do! Aaand maybe I'll draw something for it at some point too, I've been wanting to for a while hehe!

[fag-on-goth-action]

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

for all your OCs <3

🔪

ok so all of them but wes has dealt with that. so this is easy

Lilith- denies it happens doesn't put herself at blame and acts like nothing changed

Marr- shuts down and does a lot of stupid things to fix it but makes things worse

Am- takes all the blame feels guilty and then inflicts the same pain or what she thinks is equivalent pain upon her self

Wes- drinks. a lot.

🙈

oh this is easy they r all hiding sooo much

Lilith- the fact that she's a trans woman obvi but she is trans and queer and all that shit as Lea so that's a cop out. Hers is how she has never truly processed things. ever since she got bit the years have blurred and she doesn't know 78 from 09 well because Am had the same haircut or whatever and she thinks she's been going crazy for so long she's horrified about how bad it is

Marr - Ever since she got cursed to be unable to do the things she loves ( makeup, hair, acting, singing ) she has acted really chill about it and she knows that she hasn't done them in so long so she's fallen out of love but god when things get bad she will cry for hours after trying to sing a song. it devastates her even if parts of that curse have become regular parts of her life, like her makeup being messed up is part of her brand, some days she wants to just look classically pretty and she wants to feel like the woman she used to be and it breaks her.

Am- Context is in my world vampires acquire parts of their greatest fear and desire. for this you gotta know Am's biggest fear is dying alone and without true love. she has taken refuge in platonic bonds but oh my god the day she found out Wes was her soulmate she broke down. She was incapable of having the love of her life ever. she said she would never meet her soulmate and if she did she would kill them, but you can't kill another vampire as a vampire. it's an act only witches or humans can do. And then shit, they are best fucking friends. the worst part is Wes is bound to her until the world ends. he will never experience love that is true, and because Am is always around he's constantly subconsciously comparing his romance to how he feels for her, which is impossible to beat. she can't tell him.

Wes- he's my least fledged out little guy but oh my god he is so incapable of anything past first base and like that wasn't a part of his curse! he doesn't know what's up he just can't feel a lot of things for people man. only time he remembers being good at sex was with Am but she's probably a sex god or something. he can't figure out love and it's pissinf him off

🙊

Lilith- she seriously needs to stop talking about how she helped with jfk in bars she's gonna get arrested soon

Marr - one of these days she'll finally get someone to believe her and be sober enough to see her magic in clubs shes sooo bad at hiding being a witch

Am- WE.DONT.CARE.YOU.WERE.AT.9/11.SO WAS EVERYONE ELSE IN THSI HOUSE AM AND YOU RAN LIKE A PUSSY WHILE WE WATCHED

wes- im so sorry shut up about yr highschool band it was soooo bad u did violin covers of beetles songs

🙉

Lilith- the details of what happened to marr when she was deported and had to live in russia from 57-73. that would break her so hard.

Marr- What happened to the kids who cursed her

Am- Where her brother is ( she thinks he's dead )

Wes- that his fuckinf band sucks shit

okaaayy that was so long sorry but i'm on mobile i cant do cut :(

[despair-to-future-arcs]

I don’t blame Hatomi. What she did is wrong, but still I don’t blame her.

I...I really don't blame her either...

She promise Master Toshiro she wouldn't use that knife against innocent civilians but she is using, why did she lie to Master Toshiro...?

*ZZT!*

*Mahiru had folders which she went into class* Okay now I got everything all set, now to-.

Huh...? *she sees her desk cover in various marks and even a flower on it*

'BITCH!' 'SLUT!' 'WHORE!' 'SAY ANYTHING AND YOUR DEAD!'

... *various snickering and muttering can be heard as Mahiru look at her desk*

Aww, look at that seems someone mark your desk, huh Mahiru?

Natsumi I know this is you, your the only one that could of done this so why don't you just leave me alone...

Not a chance, I know your a photo journalist and your type would expose what I did so if you do do anything...

*pulls her knife out* Well... you wouldn't like what happens, huh? I'll make sure my dad's men kill your whole family so be a good girl and keep quiet if you know what's good for you.

O-Okay okay just put the knife away!

*ZZT!*

Na-Natsumi please let go of my photos, I work hard on those!

*holding Mahiru's photos and a match* Or what, gonna get your mommy on me?! Or maybe you can tell your daddy about what I'm doing...!

Oh right... I nearly forgot your dad is some construction worker or something yeah? Well probably he won't be any help so looks like he can't do much.

Ju-Just let go of my photos Natsumi, they are important!

*sets the photos on fire* Well too bad, you piss me off bitch!

N-Noooo, my photos!

*kneels down and picks up the pieces* Wh-Why would you do this...?

*takes her knife out and pulls it by her face*Because I know what you'll do Mahiru Koizumi if I leave you alone, if I don't make sure you don't reveal what I did to Katsuo so I need to make sure a bitch like you keeps quiet - if you say anything, I'll kill you, got it?!

O-Of course...

*ZZT!*

*SPLASH!*

KY-KYAAAAAAH!

Plea-Please...stop this, Natsumi... just...stop...

*Other girls that are with Natsumi start laughing, Mahiru got water thrown on her*

Mean Girl 1: Wow for an Ultimate she sure isn't tough, huh?

Mean Girl 2: How pathetic, what a loser!

Mean Girl 3: I figure Ultimates were suppose to be super human but instead she's just some nobody that thinks she's soooo special!

That's enough girls, I think will teach this little bitch for putting her nose where it doesn't belong...

*walks over and kneels down as she grabs Mahiru by the hair and pulls her knife* You see Mahiru, this is what happens when you mess with me or cross me; you get hurt or anyone else, that's why all your friends and those in photography club don't want to be around you anymore!

...

Hmph, figures you wouldn't say shit...well...!

*As then Natsumi slaps Mahiru across the face as she falls to the floor holding her cheek*...?!

...

*Stands up* Hmph, so weak - well Mahiru, you better realize that; I'll make sure my clan makes you wish that your dead.

Heh actually that's a good idea, why not just jump off the roof and kill yourself - aside from taking those smiling photos, that's all you'll be useful and maybe you'll find a talent that's even more impressive!

*Natsumi and the other girls begin to laugh and snicker at Mahiru*

GE-GET AWAY FROM MEEEEE!!!

*Mahiru ran away as she was crying, she wanted to get away from Natsumi, she was done*

*ZZT!*

[lettuceflower]

Alright, now that the episode has officially aired and everyone has seen the iconic Akito Flying Choke Slam™, here’s a compilation I would like to call:

Season 3 Moments I am Worried About 

(aka moments that are already dramatic enough but the director is probably going to turn them up to an 11 because more intense = better, apparently. 🙄)

spoilers under the cut of course.

kyo’s dream

kagura SLAP

haru’s rage

ren shenanigans 🤪🔪

attempted stab 

the actual stab

tohru’s cliff fall

kyo and yuki FINAL FIGHT

[painsandconfusion]

Defiant Whumpees

Collab with @wormwriting!

Lines:

“Mm, yeah. Gaslight me harder.”

“Oh, you want me to call you sir, sir? Of course, sir. Anything you say, sir. Anything else, sir?”

“If you want to know how I’m doing, come a little closer and find out for yourself.”

“Kiss your own boots if you want it that bad.”

"You know, Einstein said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And you seem like a smart person. Really, you do. But you keep asking me the same fucking question and I keep giving you the same fucking answer and now I'm starting to think maybe you aren't as smart as you look."

“You always want me on my knees. I should just get you a step stool or something for Christmas.”

“Make me.”

“Fun fact! Technically, by some accounts and by some, I mean all this could be considered quoteunquote: illegal.”

“Have you considered therapy instead? I could refer you to a great psychiatrist.”

“You know, I sorta consider stabbing a third date sort of deal?”

"Honestly I'm starting to get genuinely concerned about your hearing. I said I'm. Not. Telling. You. Anything. Do I need to talk louder? Maybe write it out for you? Ow! Jeez, you can cut me all you want, but that's not going to be nearly as effective as just talking to an otolaryngologist."

“Did you miss me?” “Well I did at first, but then I started getting fond of the slow drip of blood and the echoes of screams - sooooo I’m good, now. You can go, but thanks for asking.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you the first 478 times. What was it you wanted again? Hm. Nope. Still not clicking. You better ask again.”

“Ah, you know me - I just love getting tortured. But the mice? They don’t like to watch. So we should probably skip it for today.”

“If you’re going to burn me, can you at least put the blindfold back on? Seeing your dumb face is torture enough, I don’t need to do both at once.”

“Have you ever tried dating apps?”

“Canned soup again? Did your mother never teach you to cook?”

“I’m not sure what exactly you want when you ask me to beg. Maybe you could do a demonstration? Knees, please.”

“I know you’re having fun, but it’s not healthy to put this much attention into just one hobby. You could try….card-making or….pottery?

“You know, I’m not really feeling it today. Soooo….rain check? Thursday, maybe? I’m free after lunch until two.”

“Oooo. Stalker. So scary. Wait-where are you going with that knife?”

“You know, I’m actually supposed to be at band practice right now? I’m just gonna- Ah. Okay. Nope. No no, I can stay. Nice knife by the way. Did your mom get that for you?”

“Oof - the knife’s a bit cold. Maybe you should heat it up in the microwave real quick.”

“When was the last time you took a shower? Because you reek of ‘daddy never loved me enough’.”

“What’s your favorite color? Oh wait no - let me guess. Red?”

“Put your finger under my chin one more fucking time and I’m biting it off.”

“Look at me.” “Uughh, do I have to?”

“When I walk into a room, you stand up.” “When you walk into a room, I groan.”

“Eh. I’ve seen better.”

“Less talk, more go away.”

“If you want me, you get the sass too. Sorry, we’re a package deal.”

“Iiiiiiiiiff you’re happy and you know it, put the knife downnn.” *clap clap*

Actions

Ripping their face away when Whumper grabs their jaw.

Death glares when they’re gagged.

Struggling in their restraints - not to try to get out, but to show Whumper that they’re really fucking pissed.

Refusing to speak. Staring at the wall and ignoring Whumper’s comments and questions.

Biting / kicking / hitting Whumper at every possible opportunity, regardless of how much trouble they get in.

Spitting in Whumper’s face instead of answering a question.

Snarling in response when Whumper grab them by the jaw.

Sticking their leg out to trip Whumper as they walk by.

.

A few of these I stole from my Sassy Kidnappee Prompt List because they fit really well, sorry 😅

(tags: @prisonerwhump @whumpawink @mabledonut @jadeocean46910 @paleassprince @distinctlywhumpthing @tropes-for-my-md-daydreams @batfacedliar-yetagain @suspicious-whumping-egg @wormwriting @meowsikbox @villainsvictim @throwawaywhumper @wild-selenite-caffine @whumpasaurus101 @thecitythatdoesntsleep @whumpworld @cryptidhongo @rose-pinkie @whumpberry-cookie)

[everysongineverykey]

I'M DONE. HERE. TAKE THESE CHAPTER 2 THOUGHTS AND RUN, BABY.

so i'll try to go in order here. uhhhh... there's a LOT i have to say. first: toriel giggling sprite my beloved

on that note, ALL THE NEW SUSIE SPRITES MY BELOVEDS

NOELLE YOU'RE SO GAY. I THINK THIS IS PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE I TOLD HER TO IN CHAPTER ONE BUT SHE GAVE SUSIE THE LUNCHBOX FULL OF CHALK!! I LOVE ITTTT

ralsei's, uh... kinda sus. the whole "recruiting" thing REALLY sketches me out. and he looks kinda... smug, all the time, like he knows what's going on.

LANCER JOINED! ROUXLS JOINED EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WANTED THAT! STARWALKER JOINED, TO EVERYONE'S JOY!

LIBRARY PORTALLLL

so before i entered the city there was that pre-city area? that looked very much like the city? except it had different music? and i thought they'd cut welcome to the city and i was SEVERELY disappointed. but then they didn't! just something i wanted to mention

NOELLE!!

throughout this game i went from despising berdly to feeling bad for him to not really liking him again, but not hating him as much as before. he'd better stay the fuck away from susie though

the queen is the best villain. she's the kind you love to hate! she's literally so funny AND her boss battle is actually tough (rip to the king but he just. wasn't a formidable enemy at all lol)

THE GANG CHARLIE BROWN DANCING TO WIN A FIGHT! SUSIE GAINING THE POWER TO ACT THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL! SUSIE FORCING RALSEI TO LEARN TO ACT EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T WANT TO! THAT ENTIRE BATTLE WAS AMAZING! THE "BATTLE WON" END DANCING SEQUENCE! GOING INSANE GOING INSANE

the puzzles in this chapter were genuinely really impressive! i especially loved the word search puzzles and the ice-ee undertale word search reference💙

that being said. the mouse puzzles were SO fucking infuriating. i caused poor noelle a LOT of grief with those and i feel bad.

SPEAKING OF NOELLE!! the scene where she and kris are walking through the puzzle, the one that spells "december", and she's talking about when they were kids, how she loved sneaking out? beautiful. the cinnamon tography <3 also i guessed dess's full name was december a while ago and while i guess it was obvious, it's nice to have that confirmed!

also, i love that susie and ralsei are real friends in this chapter! he taught her a healing spell!!

ugh. fucking berdly. so smug and pretentious. i love queen's desire to be as far away from him as possible though

i also like his backstory. it gives his behavior, even if it's still annoying, at least some context. i get the feeling of feeling like if you're not smart, people will forget about you, and that's scary.

ALSO ALSO. GAMER BERDLY. LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT IS PERFECT. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GAMER!" "i only play mobile games, berdly." "NOOOOOO!" like i ADORE that

anyways. time for me to talk about the only thing that matters in this world: suselle. i mean, did the gays win in this chapter or DID THE GAYS WIN IN THIS CHAPTER?? THEY RODE A HEART-COVERED FERRIS WHEEL AND HAD A HEARTFELT, TENSION-FILLED CONVERSATION!

"did you ever wonder why the real susie never picked on you? well, maybe it's because... when you were both new to class, you lent her one of your pencils, like... maybe a dumb one with candy canes on it or something, and... even though it didn't actually taste like candy, she... remembered your smile." okay god thanks toby it's not like i needed my heart or anything

SERIOUSLY. TOBY "i'm gonna give the gays everything they want" FOX IS BACK WITH ANOTHER BANGER LADS

QUEEN'S BOSS BATTLE! ACTUALLY TOUGH, UNLIKE KING'S! AND GIGA QUEEN! I'M GOING INSANE THAT WAS SO SICK AND SO HARD

the way my heart BROKE when lancer turned to stone good god thank GOD our boy's okay

AND ROUXLS KAARD IN HIS PIRATE DUCK!! WITH HIS LITTLE HAT! DEMANDING THE QUEEN MAKE HIM BUTLER SUPREMETH! I LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

also!! kris and ralsei's little moment on the swan boat💙 i wasn't a kralsei shipper before but uh... that may be starting to change

it's hard because ralsei's still suspicious but at the same time i love him and want him to be happy. i don't know how to feel

also, if darkners outside of their dark worlds turn to stone after a while, why didn't ralsei? that's, uhhh... VERY sus. very weird. mr fox i need ANSWERS

WE FINALLY HAVE A WAY TO SAVE AFTER WE'VE FINISHED MOST OF THE EPILOGUE LADS. REJOICE!!

seriously the thing that peeved me about ch1 was that the last save point was on the battle stage and if i wanted to play the epilogue again, i had to. do that entire battle all over. BUT NOW THAT'S BEEN FIXED!!

UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET THIS IS NOT A DRILL UNDYNE GAVE HER A BOX OF CANDIES EVERYBODY SHUT UP THEY'RE IN LOVE ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

ALSO! NEAR THE BEGINNING! I FORGOT TO MENTION THE LITTLE WHITE DOG DOING DONUTS IN A TOY RACE CAR AND BACKING UP TRAFFIC! THANK YOU LITTLE WHITE DOG!

on that note: "looks like a car. this one has a man in it. he waves at you happily." AND THEN THE MAN'S GONE??? HEY TOBY???

ALSO. THE SEGMENT WHERE THE ANNOYING DOG HELPS US FIND THE KEY THROUGH THE POWER OF WANTON DESTRUCTION. THE BEST PLOT DEVICE!

TORIEL TEACHING SUSIE TO MAKE PIE STOP ITTTTT

and yes yes i KNOW kris slashed toriel's tires. that was extremely troubling. but THEY MADE PIE TOGETHER!!

"leave the chalk alone, kris" TORIEL!!

sans and toriel making egg puns and asgore running in and going "don't forget me, your eggs-husband!" is the FUNNIEST sitcom moment type thing ever. GOD.

on the other hand sans let me meet your brother god dammit i'll kill you

METTATONNNNNNN

RUDY... "who got you these flowers?" "is it weird for a married man to get flowers?" "so your wife did?" "oh, no! kris's dad did!" "...not even gonna try to understand this..." TOBY STOP ITTTT YOU'RE GIVING THE ASGORUDY SHIPPERS FALSE HOPE. YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST GONNA KILL RUDY. YOU'RE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND!

NUBERT! MY MAN!

seeing kris repeatedly they-themmed by multiple characters makes me so happy <3 poor kid... "college summer vacation when" "you opened the door with your eyes closed. you saw nothing" kris....

KRIS...

fucking. BLACK FOG STORM IN THE LIVING ROOM KRIS STOP IT. HOW'RE THEY GONNA REVEAL THIS WAS INNOCENT? THE KNIFE IN CHAPTER ONE WAS EASY BUT HOW WILL THEY EXPLAIN THIS

the staticy tv appearing in the dark and a toothy smile slowly fading into view in the center and lingering there ominously for far too long >>>>>>> every hollywood horror movie ever god. GOD

snowy and monster kid checking out the red door. implying there's something in there. something that kris knows about. knowing we won't get any more deltarune content for 5+ years does NOT fill me with determination

also. gaster's symbolic theme being mus_smile. and the final image in the game being a smile. god. gaster's COMING lads.

onionsan hears a song at night... a familiar song... memory, perhaps? or maybe a certain... four-note arpeggio that's hidden in a sound test room in undertale? who knows? guess we'll just have to wait for chapters 3/4/5.

this concludes my ramblings for now, but don't get it twisted- this is FAR from the last post i'll make about ch2. this whole chapter was absolutely amazing! brilliant! showstopping!! i'm genuinely soooo super impressed and excited for the chapter 3/4/5 bundle!!!

[bookofmariokingofmaiami]

This is the second time making this post because i am angry as fuck because for some reason when I added the names it didn't save so I'm doing this shit again 

Hey! I had a stupendus idea, the past few days I've gathered a bunch of mitten squad quotes and captain sauce quotes

Soooo, I'll put wich book of mario characters would say each quote and we'll see what happens

Yes I know 99% of the mitten squad quotes is gonna be bolivia and carbon

Also, some quotes reference characters and locations, so I'll put an [ ] with what I think the book of mario counterpart would be

MITTEN SQUAD SEGMENT 

Lewis:"I have successfully turned an ordinary kitchen utensil into the most valuable fork in the known universe, no one man should have this kind of power, but I am not mortal man, as a sexualy identity as a big rock being thrown into the ocean"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1 TEC-20"The robot wasn't able to pick the lock and I lacked the fire power to blow the bitch open" 

Marc:"I left a broom there too so my bucket wouldn't be lonely"

Carbon:"Calm down vegetarians I am talking about animals in video games, animals in real life matter way less"

Barney one:"Killing it isn't the hard part, the hard part is getting away from the explosion of the goddamm Nagasaki bomb strapped up its ass that was rigged to explode once it died"

Bolivia:"Todd Howard [barbie], even in death you find a way to fuck me"

Bolivia:"We came back to the little shit with the ant problem and killed most of the ants, I left one alive for the boy, either he becomes a man or that ant will have a very good day" 

Goomb:"Me brain fixed gud no hurt no more"

Marc:"Picked up trash for the make a wish kid"

Bolivia, talking about maria:"Because she hits like a bull with down syndrome and has the personality of a piece of plywood"

Belize:"You might be wondering, who is the boy and who is the girl? I won't give it away but I will say this, the knife is a whore"

Maria:"I had armor, i had supplies, i had pockets full of room temperature tomatos"

Bolivia:"For some reason I thought that stupid the horse v2 could fly, bad decision on my part"

Carbon:"For some reason this shrapnel character had 200 BB's, what a weirdo, who caries around 200 BB's?, anyway, I talked to daddy and brought my 300 BB's and headed off to clear off the Jefferson memorial"

Goverman::"Get a juice box and strap on your helmet, because we're going to hell"

Carbon:"I punched a puppy to death"

Marc:"My iq is similar to that of a 14 year old block of cheese"

Lewis:"Theres an oxygen exhaust pipe, the second best tipe of pipe to suck on to keep yourself alive, for those who need hand holding, that was not a drug reference, this is a family friendly channel, it was a suicide joke"

Bolivia:"I got an amazing slow motion shot of dogmeat getting fucked to death by a nuclear warhead"

Maria:"My only option was to become a vampire, wich sucked"

Bolivia:"But just as when like how every virtual dog goes to hell when it dies, what the fuck does that even mean?"

Carbon:"I took advantage of a unconscious military officer and beat him to death"

Barney one:"Nothing else says more victory than overdosing on drugs after a war"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"And decided to go to the much bigger and much more research facility x-13 research facility facility center, WHAT? I think I had a stroke"

Bolivia:"Used more than 3% of my frag mines to blow up a dog"

Carbon:"The last few coursers ran for their non existence lives and I went after them because I'm not letting anyone get away, one got away"

Maria:"I got a warning saying that nuka world is intended for those level 30 or above, Mathematics show us that me being lv11 is close enough to lv30"

Carbon:"Killed a pain-maker and got a glimpse into the big G in the sky who manifested himself as a fire axe floating in the air, this voodoo shit has no place in zion so I chopped of the pain-maker's legs and arms so If there is an afterlife he will be a cripple in hell for all eternity"

Goverman:"Its head turned into jelly, I threw its egg down into the nightmare bellow, and then I jumped after it"

Carbon:"A herd of big hornets paid the ultimate price for being alive"

Goverman:"Used his gun to turn off a woman"

Maria:"Me being the player can't open the door, theres a know you have to twist it its a whole process"

Goverman explained why maria survived the fall:"One of them belonged to God and refused to die"

Goombell, talking about hoko saba:"The dragon I pretended to not exist a few minutes ago is one of my mom's friend's kids so I had to play with him even tho he's weird"

Belize:"There was no hamster's luck in a garbage disposal chance that I would follow this giant fuck all the way to the cit ruins"

Lewis:"Along the way i saved a shopping cart from drowning and returned it to its family"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"Its about 24 million cheez its away from New vegas"

Bolivia:"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to bedworld"

Carbon:"With enough notches in my pistol to spell psychopath in braille"

Gooverman:"I spie with my little eye a ville whore who deserves to die, I cleaved her back in half with my stick and what I saw was glorious"

Maria?:"Its kinda like playing the floor is lava, but you can't see the lava and instead of burning to death you turn into a vegetable"

IDK"I hid from Ringo by hiding in ringo"

Bolivia:"The plate worked as well I thought it would, wich means it didn't work"

Bolivia:"There was a 3 for 1 discount on dead raiders if you use the promo code granade at checkout"

Belize:"The only explanation is that has a 5th appendage wich he pulls out on special occasions, wich probably isn't the case, we all know elmo doesn't pull out"

Goomb:"You don't need those things, Jesus got trough his life without any guns"

Goombape:"When i played it as a children"

Barbie:"Its like how you don't know if your life has any meaning until you die and see your score"

Belize:"This was the most stealth oriented part of the game by a metric mile"

Bolivia:"I stripped him naked, talked with Elliot [lewis] whose face bothered me for some reason,Talked with the samurai[maria], talked with red dead redemption [barney one]"

Carbon:"Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds"

Bolivia:"Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering earnie with the prospect of friendship, by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think i wanted to talk to him just for me to keep on walking,I was voted the quietest guy I high-school and I know how loud earnie is screaming inside his head right now, it's kinda fun to be in this side of it :) ,also this isn't related to the video in any way, I just wanted to make it known that i have a sealed copy of elmos letter adventure for Nintendo 64 and you don't"

Maria:"I knew I could use that as a lighthouse of sorts in order to cast myself further into the ocean until i drowned in my own disappointment"

Goombell:"Vulpes[carbon] was adopted, his mother is both infertile and imaginary"

Belize:"Being alone is mental, you can be surrounded by friends family laughs and love on Christmas morning and still be alone in your head"

Bolivia:"I acted in self defense by committing various war crimes"

Carbon:"My throwing spears were broken and wouldn't fly,stupid fucking game" 

Bolivia:"That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the truth"

Maria:"If there's anything Shaun b knows to do is die"

Boombell:"The number of bear traps I activated for sexual reasons turned my angles into a fine powder"

Goverman:"Where the grass is green and the air is even greener"

IDK"I consulted a doctor who flucked out of medical school and followed his advice by killing myself"

Belize:"Being a futuristic[X-nauti], nazi dominated world version of polly poc,etc it has its own set of drawbacks"

Marc:"They're mass effect 3 of fallout 3's 5th dlc, I've never played mass effect"

Lewis:"Who loves their father like how their brother loves his mother's sister"

Carbon:"Like most existential crises it went away after I killed somebody"

Carbon:"If you're wraped in chains and dropped into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorklew won't save you"

Goombape:""A wise man once said "hi! Jeanie may's here"  and he's right, there has to be a better way""

Browser:"After it took 3 grown man to kidnap a baby with a gun"

goldbob:"The lever action gun riffle can kill a mutant in a single shot if you land a shot that can kill it in one hit"

Maria:"Its 2020, Noone wants to use their hands anymore"

Bolivia:"Before journeying into more death, some jackass hit me with a granade and killed me, not the explosion, the granade bouncing off my soon to be corpse is was what made me dead"

Belize:"Some Neanderthals gave me their bullets to hold in a pretty rude way >:("

Princess of peaches:"Im not worried about offending blind people, it's not like they'll be watching this"

Carbon:"30 seconds is longer than you'd think, ask anyone whose been on fire"

Lewis:"I was as useful as a comatose toddler with a nerf gun at pearl harbor"

Goomb:"I also poused the challenge to satisfy the curiosity of mine regarding the birds in the sky that Don real because birds aren't exist"

Marc:"Any doctor worth their weight in styrofoam cups can fix a leg with their feet"

Bolivia:"I had me a silenced weapon, but I didn't account for today being his birthday, this changes everything, so I shaped for hollow point"

Carbon:"Maybe if Steve earlin had a gun instead of a snorklew he'd still be alive today"

Marc:"It took me 30 minutes and 3 phone calls to get my food because I'm too much of a pussy to go outside at 10 o'clock at night while drunk in a Christmas sweater after news year to steal my own food of one my neighbors doorstep"

Maria:"We've got rogue, tank dampse, and squidword"

Lewis;"And they're no joke, but I am, I am the big joke and my body is the punchline"

Bolivia:"I got mentally Nagasaki'd by this guy at the stables"

IDK"And went outside where Victor is unhappy with me, after killing Victor, Victor came out of the lucky 38 to avenge victor" 

Bolivia:" i shot a kid, i sent that little bitch to the moon"

Sushiya,  testing her products:"The door was of its axis, a plate was misbehaving on the chair, a cattle was dancing on the table like the whore she is"

Carbon:"And went shopping for dead bodies, they weren't in stock,  but i know a guy who knows a guy who could help me out, both of those guys are me"

Bolivia:"Now vault yosh is I your head too, and he won't be going anywhere"

Maria's son:"As much of a monster that I look like, I think it's gonna work"

Sushiya:"But you know what they say, imagination is what happens when annoyance meets drug use"

Carbon:"If they're stupid enough to be in my way they might as well be my enemy"

Goverman:"But the slippery bastard was too clever, he walked around it, I didn't even know that such a maneuver was even possible"

IDK"Homeland security at this point has yet to be impregnated by a sentient barrel of oil"

Bolivia:" if I drunkenly put a giant hole on my sink with a goddam coffee cup imagine what I could do with a gun"

Belize:"Got ambushed in the freezer while searching for chicken nuggets"

Goverman:"But the fucken bullet Williams come flying out of fucking nowhere"

Maria:"The next second you're in a universe where everything that exists is the sick bastard child of a drunken fuckfest between a pin screen and a light brush"

Bolivia:"Ask the cashier if they have a granade, if they say no, say nothing for a few seconds, put a big smile, put your hands on theirs and quietly ask, would you like one?"

Sean hampton:"Can't do anything until I have my arms around a fat man"

Barbie:"The premise of this run is that I have no arms and I must dab"

Maria's son:"I told you before that I was a genetic disaster"

Bolivia:"And in that cabin, theres some west Virginian mountain folk who are so deep in incest that one of them somehow managed to be his own father"

Bolivia:"Can you hear that? It's…. It's an air conditioner! And it's so fucking anoying, aw no I hurt it's feelings :( "

Goverman:"He could probably put the end of his musket inside his mouth, pull the trigger and still miss"

Barney one:"The big beaver ended his life in stile, he even made a summersault into the afterlife"

Goverman:"Im a good Christian boy,  I'll save my ammo for my suicide"

Carbon:"I am not Cinderella, I'm a parasite"

IDK"I played with a doggy too, it used the flesh on my arm as a chew toy, and I booked his nose with a nuclear newspaper to show that that kind of thing isn't allowed in the mitten squad household"

Sean hampton:"The crusable is a magical weapon like divorce papers, capable of tearing everything it comes across in half"

Barbie:"The curse of grandma sparkle managed to reach me all the way in hell"

Barney one:"If you are gonna get a cat, you might get a gun aswell"

Belize:"Corn on the Joe sat back not helping his brother's"

Carbon:"I bought 24 regular bullets,28 hollow points, and 60 that need to wear a helmet"

Bolivia:"After the squad died I had to content with the leftovers, the scraps, statically speaking the majority of what remained"

Lewis:"What I need to face is like a toddler with a learning disability, that would be fair"

Carbon:"I took both left eyes of this dead guy "

Carbon:"It took longer to pull out the Esther than it took of kill the general"

Sushiya, while high:"Deeper inside shit got weird, i killed a giant skeleton right? Nothing weird about that, but then his body just kinda danced in place really slowly, I tought speeding up time would fix it, that was a massive fucking mistake, and changing time back to normal was an even bigger mistake, he'll be hunting me until I die, but until then he'll still be dancing"

CAPTAINSAUCE SEGMENT 

Carbon:"They're old, how hard can it be to turn them into blueberry jam and ram them into the grass"

Belize:"I guess if you do electrocute a tank enough it would just explode"

Boliviz:"Id have a better chance of finding a snowball down here than winning a coin toss"

Marc:"How does my Christmas lights break to a stiff breeze but these ones are practically terminators"

Barney one:"I never tought id see the day where I would have to hire a sniper to assassinate a troublesome light bulb but here we are "

Lewis:"I get the feeling if you try to milk a minotaur then you're gonna be its wife"

Sushiya:"In the history of mankind do you think we've ever seen a snake fight an octopus?"

Goverman:"Lets see if you can wobble your way trough the grim reaper" [the grim being carbon]

Goldbob:"Its a steaming pile of something ill tell you that much"

Goverman:"He died? How! Did he have an allergic reaction to the sun?"

Goomb:"Michelangelo is Swiss cheese and where good to go"

Bolivia:"It really looks like I'm taking a sharpened stick to a bazooka fight"

Maria:"HOW DID I GO FROM FIGHTING AN OCTOPUS IN A SUIT TO WW3???"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1TEC-20:"Im playing pictionary with a blind robot"

maria:"Theres on the nose dialogue and then there's punch you in the nose dialogue"

Bolivia,  talking about barney one:"This lady looks like her father was half refrigerator"

IDK"Im supposed to sabotage the mail missile assembly line but it looks like someone got here before me"

Belize?:"And the ghosts of previously murdered pianos???"

Maria:"Im getting outsmarted by puppets"

Bolivia:"After careful deliberation with my associate we've come to the conclusion that the local government must have Removed all quarters from circulation,  the laundromat went under and before you know it the entire society fell into nudism and then anarchy "

Carbon?:"This is like the hunger games of sesame street"

IDK"Im a weird shotgun santa"

Garlic?:"Oh damm! CTHULO IS THICC"

Krump:"What kind of interdimensional time traveling toilet is this?"

Carbon:"Wheater it be cultural appropriation or demonic abomination,  i don't realy care im just gonna try to hit it with a pee bucket" 

Carbon:"THIS IS THE MEDIEVAL RUSSIAN VERSION OF DRIVING INTO BATTLE WITH A TANK BUT SHOOT PEOPLE WITH A BB GUN"

Belize::"I DIDN'T KNOW GRANNY WAS TAKING GRAVEDIGGER TO CHURCH THIS MORNING" 

Goombell:"This isn't a bridge its just the worlds weakest motorcycle trebuchet "

Bolivia:"Oh hellow mr berry"

Carbon:"Giant alien space worm 2020, make America worm poop again"

Bolivia:"When did snuffy[barney one] decide to judas me and join the hobbits?[origamis]"

Lewis:"Theres a surprisingly high amount of chickens in this map and a dramatic lack of eggs"

Bolivia:"Im pretty sure we've sent the first claim to the moon"

Maria:"And yet I'm forced to defend myself from stuff like bloodthirsty scp's using nothing but uncooked t-bone stake, I mean technically its doable but it doesn't make It any less ridiculous"

Barbie:"What's the point of a metal detector if literally everyone here has somekind of cybernetic, like I swear to God If I walk trough here aND you guys start pounding the shit out of me just because I got a couple of extra inches of robo-dong IM GONNA BE PISSED"

Bolivia:"Everyone's wearing slick black suits meanwhile I look like somebody skinned a couch from the 70s"

Sushiya:"Is this bacon flavored weed or weed flavored bacon?"

Sean hampton:"Do you think that Darth Vader ever had to deal with a rebel or a henchmen who was into getting chocked? Like starts force checking them and they tell him to go harder?"

Koopley:"I was stabbed to death by a naked man with a spear and my arm is perpetually running"

Koop kotu:"So I'm crazy enough to be locked behind bars but not crazy enough to think I can fly*

Bolivia:"Usually spooders have 8 arms not 8 abs"

Carbon:"I just bludgeoned Jesus to death with a stick of meat, I'm guessing he's gonna be back in a couple of days he's gonna be looking for me so we'll start running now"

Carbon:"Im done with words, shooty goody time"

Maria?:"Id have a better time cutting down bushes then these strange little robo hobits"

Belize:"Dad this is not the time to be dancing with crabs!"

Maria:"Thats my little brother, who has a fully posable deny devito action figure,I've always been jealous of that one"

Bolivia:"The turns are tabbleling"

Maria, talking about barbie:"She's not exactly the brightest tool at the picnic"

Belize:"Are you kidding me mom? Realy?, you were the one that said you're sick of seeing donkey kongs donkey dong"

Maria:"I have no idea what was in that Wonster energy drink that made him go master roshe style"

Bolivia:"I want to file a complaint against Stacy [belize] for T-posing to assert Dominance over me"

Marc:"Believe it or not dangling a padlock the size of a shoebox from a doorknob does as much work as I want to"

Caesar reality:"You can never have too many rotten floor bananas"

Carbon:"Poisoning your boss is probably not the best way to skip work, but ya boy gotta do what he has to do"

Goverman:"I'll take nicknames of my penis for 300$ alex"

Starvinden?:"I guess we'll just leave you in your special sarcophagus mr tutan-deez-nuts"[browser]

Lewis:"I've been skipping work for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to think that my computer isn't even plugged in"

Bolivia, talking to maria:"Your suit smells like a wet fart and your mouth smells like a ashtray"

Bolivia:"If anyone needs me I'll be on the insane asylum,  why am I caressing a mannequin on top of a boat?"

Carbon:"Would you like to hang yourself or be crucified? Dealers choice!"

Bolivia talking about carbon:"He's doing something ingenious probably diabolical……..or he's dressed as a panda"

Marc:"We should really pay for security around here not only are people breaking in there is also a giant spine breaking chickens"

Maria to Bolivia:"You are very angry at that stake"

Sushiya, after using its products:"I wonder why was I twerking at the office statue"

IDK"WHY IS THERE A GIANT NAKED MAN IN THE LOCKER CHOCKING ME TO DEATH WITH A CHAIN??!!!"

goombell:"I guess we're gonna leave the cookie monster dildo in the locker"

Sean hampton, to Maria:"My love for you is like diarrhea, sometimes I just can't hold it in"

Bolivia:"You're watching me In a Google video platform playing a game from a Google gaming platform that was translated using Google translate, if this isn't a dystopian future I don't know what is"

Bolivia?:"I couldn't have predicted the run after her like a velociraptor made out of pool noodles"

Lewis:"Jumping Jack neighbor help me!"

Bolivia:"Bread! There's no bread,there's your bread! That's a cookie God dammit"

Belize:"So I can be invited to the worlds saddest birthday party"

Maria:"I guess we're playing ring around the Rosie till I lose his dumb ass"

Carbon:"If you see jehovah's witness you tell them to eat shit"

Bolivia:"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A GUARD BIRD AND NOT A DOOR STOP?"

Bolivia::"For my shopping list I need to find a floppy disk with a s, but for the distraction I could use a floppy dick with sunglasses and a tie"

Carbon:"I really hoped that your little bird bath had a couple inches of water so I could steal a tiny toaster to throw it in with you"

Belize::"Its pretty safe to say Mr voice bad Benjamin good, but we just saw Benjamin talk with the grim reaper and pull around a cart wich is about the size of a child's body"

Goombell:"She may have a crush on the interdimensional death fox"

Maria:"Its like the herpes of craft supplies"

Barney one:"Everyone wants to split checks for keano Reaves, even if they're a 10ft dragon made out of logos and seizures what is going on right now?"

Sushiya, high, again:"When I dilapidated the banana and poked the mayo's brain then had an indept conversation with the strawberry cocoon did bread get arrested? I didn't see the police come by, that would make sense because the alcoholic cat ran away"

Carbon:"IF THEY HAVE AN ASS TO PULL PUNS OUT OF THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN TO THINK THEM UP"

Goombell:"I think I graduated for the university of food torture"

Well, this is all, took some time but it's here, hope you enjoyed

Frequent reblogers

<《{[(@boom-fanfic-a-latta )]}》>

<《{[( @gumdorp )]}》>

PLEASE REBLOG!

[selinhcinder]

Okay so I drew something on my sketchpad about a low-tier thaumaturge who’s hired to tutor an Artemisian aristocrat’s son who’s on the verge of getting Lunar sickness. But it failed miserably because i’m dumb and never learned from my mistakes that i am bad at lineart and coloring so I decided to digitize it aaaand still failed soooo i’m just gonna write cool-ish imagines about it.

The Thaumaturge and the Aristocrat

Thaumaturge Calliope Vwan is a low-tier thaumaturge and is looked down on, especially after failing to tame her supposed special operative pack. She idolized Sybil Mira and her dream was to wear the beautiful and elegant white coat, to which Sybil didn’t react nicely.

She’s usually the one the other thaumaturges make fun of especially during training. Some have made remarks about how she should’ve just been a lowly guard.

Having high hopes of redeeming herself, she presents herself into the spotlight when the Lynch family came into the palace. Calliope meets Leonard, the son of Antonn Lynch.

As their story progresses, it becomes known that Calliope isn’t a good teacher. They both end up just talking, and Leo opens up about how he just doesn’t want to use his powers anymore. Calliope tries to tell him that it’s actually really fun:

CALLIOPE: Why not?

LEO: Because it’s wrong.

CALLIOPE: Okay, your point?

LEO: I don’t think that’s very royal thaumaturge-y of you.

CALLIOPE: Eh, what do they care? I’m a low-tier, they’ll get over it.

LEO: My point is that falsehood isn’t ‘fun,’ it’s just pathetic manipulation.

CALLIOPE: Don’t even start, you’re probably just trying to match Her Highness’s energy.

LEO: Are you saying I’m a copycat? That doesn’t sound like royal thaumaturge lingo, either.

Calliope giving up on trying to convince Leo that the Lunar gift is exceptional and just gives him advice to make subtle changes in his appearance so he won’t lose his mind:

“How about simple details?”

“Details?”

“Yes, like an earring,” mused Calliope, proud that he was curious about everything she said. For a moment there, she felt like a genius. “I swear, when I first saw you, I thought to myself, ‘Wow, that guy is cute but why would he glamour himself like that?’”

Leo halted in his steps, but Calliope kept walking. “Well, that’s not very nice.”

“Just try it.” She faced him, a brow raised as if to tempt him. Just when she thought he was just going to stand there, a tiny little earring appeared on his left ear, its shape was a crescent moon, it was lovely. She reached for his earlobe and took it in for a few seconds before snapping and pinching his ear. Leo scowled and flinched from the sudden gesture.

“Stars, that’s too basic.” She sucked her teeth, disappointed. “You’ll probably be dead lumber by tonight. I was thinking at least an exaggerated earring. Nevermind. What about hair color? Your neighbors seem to like having weird colors in their hair.”

From brown, Leo’s hair turned into blue. He went for it after observing Calliope’s raven black hair that had hints of blue in it when hit by light. He kept his hair like that, but it sometimes fades because of his lack of concentration.

Leo comforting Calliope after Sybil’s death. Although Sybil wasn’t nice to her, she idolized her for a long time. When Aimery replaced Sybil, he often gave her tasks. Calliope loathed Aimery, both him and his smug grins that suggested a lot of things.

I can’t go into more cos I have 9% battery life left and I’m sorry if the content is rusty but it’s 04:11AM and I have to sleep but: when Levana was called out by Cinder to surrender, Calliope was among the thaumaturges that attacked the citizens.

Leo is trapped in the room with the other Earthens and Lunars. When Kai and the other Lunars go through the secret passage, Leo takes a detour downstairs to look for Calliope. He stands frozen among the blood and corpses. He finally finds Calliope carrying a citizen from the outer sectors, confusion settling in him. Then Calliope’s eyes widen, and he thought she saw him, but she did not. Her arms were suddenly awkward and he knew that she was no longer in control of her body. He spots Aimery from a crowd, murder in his eyes. Calliope released the civillian with her other hand before she could betray the innocent woman. Her hands pulled out a dagger from her boot, her eyes bloodshot. Leo was frozen too, but he could not do anything. Calliope had told her an ally could become a weapon in a heartbeat, so he made sure Aimery couldn’t see him.

Calliope plunging the knife into her stomach. Aimery leaving. Leo rushing toward her and bringing her back into the palace, wishing he could’ve controlled Aimery.

Okay bye I’m gonna drain this all sounded better in my head

[jennycalendar]

not posting this to ao3 bc the convoluted context only exists on tumblr, but here’s a mini thing i wrote today from that au where oz is dating giles and jenny’s daughter. also giles and jenny were in a band together pre-canon for a little while and have a very convoluted love story that i swear will eventually be a fic. fun times.

other things pre-fic that are fun:

ripper and jenny spent like a decade in la co-running a music store together while also raising their kids. jenny handled the actual business, ripper taught guitar classes on the side. janna is very musically gifted but teddy can’t carry a tune to save her life.

theoretically this is a version of canon where janna and buffy are the same age, and someday i will also write the fic where janna appoints herself buffy’s watcher, kicks wesley in the knees, and screams at every member of the council that comes near buffy. she’s heard enough horror stories from her dad.

“Are you nervous?”

The question took Oz by surprise. “Should I be?”

Janna didn’t answer. When he turned to look at her, he saw that she was looking out the window at what he assumed was their final destination: a relatively ordinary-looking house with the beginnings of a vegetable garden on the front lawn. “The last time I brought a guy home to meet my parents, he was super nervous,” she said. “Like, all spacey and weird. My dad was extra nice to him to compensate, but my mom kinda antagonized him a little ‘cause she thought it was funny. She probably won’t do that to you, though. I bet she’ll like you. I mean, she likes pretty much all my friends that I actually care about, and last time I brought a guy home I didn’t actually like him. Mostly it was just to show up Teddy ‘cause she’s always giving me grief about—”

Abruptly, Oz understood. Without a word, he gently tugged Janna’s clenched fists into his own hands, untangling the tightly coiled fingers to lace them with his own.

Janna exhaled. Shakily, she said, “I just really want them to like you.”

“I know,” said Oz.

“I mean really. Usually I don’t care a whole bunch, but you’re different.”

“I know,” said Oz.

“And sometimes my mom can be a little mean. Not like mean-mean, she’s just like that, it’s her way of being nice—”

Oz tugged on Janna’s hands, pulling her into a careful hug. Janna let out a nervous laugh and pressed a clumsy kiss just under his jaw. “I’m a pretty easy guy to like,” he said. “Unless your parents are the kind that don’t like it when a guy is in a band.”

“That would be totally hypocritical,” said Janna. “They were in a band.”

Processing this, Oz felt a slow smile sneak across his face. “So it’s genetic?”

Janna blinked, then smiled too. “Kinda, yeah! They ran a music store in LA till we moved. My dad’s the one who taught me how to play guitar and sing and stuff. He’s not classically trained or anything, but he takes it super seriously.”

“Your dad sounds pretty cool,” said Oz.

“He is pretty cool,” said Janna, her smile growing.

Gently, Oz tugged on Janna’s hand, then let go to open his door and get out of the car. He crossed around to open the door for her too, extending a hand to help her out. She laughed, letting him pull her out of the car, and tripped very purposefully to fall for a moment against his chest; he nudged the car door shut behind her and tugged her into a hug. “We got this, Jay,” he said, smoothing down her hair.

Though she was still very clearly nervous, Janna nodded, tucking her arm into his as they walked up the driveway. Oz rang the doorbell.

Thudding footsteps came from inside the house. Janna groaned. “Oh, no,” she muttered under her breath.

“Is this the boyfriend?” demanded a voice as the door was wrenched open. Looking down, Oz saw a small girl of about twelve surveying the two of them with interest. “I thought he’d be taller. How come he’s shorter than you? Why—”

“I am gonna punt you into next Tuesday, Teddy,” Janna threatened.

“Oh, this is Theodora?” said Oz with interest. “Pleasure.”

“At least someone has manners,” said Teddy with great dignity, turning on her heel and striding down the hall.

“Aren’t you gonna invite us in?” Janna yelled after her.

“Nope!” Teddy yelled back. “You’re probably vampires!”

“Someday I’m gonna kick her like a soccer ball and no one will ever see her again,” Janna was muttering as she yanked Oz over the threshold, roughly divesting him of his coat to hang it on a nearby coat tree. “I used to play soccer in middle school and I think I still know how to do it. Maybe I can get Buffy to do it. I bet if I kicked her really hard—”

“No kicking your sister,” came a very familiar voice.

If Oz was the kind of person whose jaw dropped, he thought it might have right then. Standing in the kitchen doorway was none other than Jenny Calendar, the original drummer for the Spitfires—the one who had toured with the band for two years before she and the lead guitarist dropped out to raise a kid. Jenny Calendar was looking between the two of them with an intrigued grin. Oz had a record with this lady’s face on it. “Uh,” he said. “What?”

“What?” said Janna, as though this was just a normal meeting between Oz and his girlfriend’s mom. “Anyway, mom, this is Oz. Oz, this is my mom, she—”

“I know who she is,” said Oz.

“Well, duh, I just told you,” said Janna. “Where’s Dad? Is he upstairs dissecting bug things for Buffy again?”

“Yeah, that was one time and I told them both they’re never doing that again. That’s my job in this house.” Jenny ruffled Janna’s hair. “Glad nothing ate you on your way here.”

“If it does, you gotta make a necklace out of my bones or something metal like that,” said Janna very seriously.

“God, you’re just like your dad,” said Jenny.

“Oh, yeah, it’s me she gets it from,” quipped Ripper, rounding the corner with Teddy on his shoulders. “Not like anyone else in this house was violent and terrifying at fifteen.”

“Okay, one, shut up. Two, no one needs to hear any of those stories. Three, shut up.” Jenny punched Ripper’s shoulder, careful to avoid jostling Teddy.

Oz was thankfully a little bit more prepared for Ripper’s entrance. If the Spitfires’ drummer was Janna’s mom, the lead guitarist pretty much had to be her dad. “Uh, hey, Janna,” he said, tugging at his girlfriend’s sleeve, “can we—talk outside for a sec?”

Janna looked a little puzzled, but acquiesced without much argument.

Shutting the door behind them, Oz said, “Your parents are Jenny and Ripper.”

“Huh?” said Janna, then, “Oh,” and then her face split open in a huge smile. “I didn’t know you knew about them! Pretty much nobody does! They left the Spitfires before the band got big, so it’s not like I bring it up a lot—”

“Okay, this makes so much sense,” said Oz.

Janna blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Your whole,” Oz waved a hand, “cool thing. It’s not just you, it’s genetic.” He grinned. “I don’t think I stood a chance.”

Janna went very pink, her smile impossibly bright. “You totally have to tell them you like their stuff,” she said. “Dad’s kinda mellow about it, but Mom has these insane stories from the years before she and Dad hooked up and she loves telling people about them.”

“Well, I’d love to hear your mom’s cool band stories,” said Oz, squeezing Janna’s hand. “Probably have a few of our own to share, right?”

“I mean, I’ve told them most of my good ones,” said Janna. “Remember that one time I broke a guitar over Devon’s head?”

“Fondly,” said Oz.

Janna snickered. “Dad’s done worse,” she said. “He was in Wretched for a little while. It was more of a Brit thing so you probably haven’t heard of it, but we have a demo album that they made and it’s soooo bad—”

“Mom wants to know when you’re coming in for dinner!” Teddy yelled from inside the house.

“IN A MINUTE!” Janna yelled back.

“We could go in now,” Oz suggested, “if you—”

Draping her arms around his neck, Janna said, “Give me a minute, Daniel.”

 ~~~

“Oh my god, I love him,” said Jenny delightedly. “Rupert, he knows our stuff! Does anyone ever know our stuff?”

“Janna’s last one didn’t,” said Ripper, attempting to take a forkful of casserole off his wife’s plate. Jenny whacked his fork with her knife. “Though I do think our darling Teddy psychologically broke the poor chap halfway through dessert.”

“If he was weak enough to be broken by a fifth-grader, he deserved to start crying,” said Teddy mildly. “It’s just facts.”

“She gets the mean streak from me,” said Jenny affectionately, looking at Teddy with adoring pride. “Mama’s girl.”

“They both get the mean streak from you,” said Ripper. Jenny started throwing wadded-up paper towels at him. “See?” he said, catching one of them and lobbing it back in his wife’s direction. “This. This is what I mean.”

“Your family is cool,” said Oz. “My mom’s gonna have a lot to measure up to.”

“Oh god I have to meet your mom?” squeaked Janna. “No one’s ever wanted me to meet their mom! Oh my god, you didn’t—why would I—”

“You know she’s never been this nervous about anyone she’s dated?” said Teddy conspiratorially to Oz. “I think she really likes you. Plus she writes your names together all the time on the fogged-up mirror in the bathroom and she made you a mixtape but she’s too scared to give it—”

“I’m gonna throw you out a goddamn window,” Janna hissed in Teddy’s direction. “You better believe I will.”

“Oz, you’re in a band, yeah?” said Ripper, giving Oz a little grin. “Might be nice to play sometime together, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I would,” said Oz, and smiled back.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 3, 2019 // the trial

(TW SUICIDE)

it's the reveal!!!! love that for her hope shes thriving (shes not) again w the two minutes of the next episode to sync the dates

-lmaoooo so i honestly wonder why they went for the full pulling-it-out-the-throat thing but idk (an interesting foil to her getting sick for more stereotypical reasons ie s2 "people find out theyre grandparents every day"

-I LOVE THIS GEORGE HAIR

-"i'd do anything for nancy" okay but....why 👀bit of an odd reaction imo

-bess with spilling the truth again 😂and gets shot down. tragic #shetried

-wait sooooo nobody tested the fingerprints on the knife when this shit happened?? or that tech didnt exist in 2000? i mean without a body how could they even call it murder? and who told the police?? like if the drews took the baby, the dress, and said nothing, who tells the cops shes missing or even dead? how did they know to search the bluffs? who told the media/public? it had to have happened that same night because ryan said when he got there later there were already rumors she was killed. after the baby and bloody dress, only her crown, a knife, and tire tracks were left. how did anyone find anything at this remote bluff without some kind of tip off? and why on earth would they think murder and not suicide with so little evidence?? thats gotta be like suicide central, sorry for the trigger

-"a little help, lucy?!" lucy seems unable to disobey a direct request from nancy (ie "lucy, stop" from later in the ep) when nancy speaks directly to her. so maybe if nancy had spoken aloud/engaged more lucy could have appeared more? nancy said she only comes around when she wants to but what if nancy herself could do a bit more, being the last thing lucy touched and all

-so in ep 2 when nancys in jail carson says "great grandma rosalind buried her valuables in the trunk" including the knives shown here. did carson and kates families even know about nancy? how did they explain not announcing a pregnancy or birth?

-"oh." john lmfaoooo

-BESS lmaoooo and ace's looks in the background and then at seeing nick approaching lmfaooo oh no / also why on earth is she apologizing?? he dumped her but she has to be sorry he found out she fucked someone else? someone nicer pls explain to me bc i dont get it. she dont owe him shit

-george is SO CUTE lmfaoooo and so forward and he was so shook but then he was like "oh hell yeah"

-"is he a vampire?!" ik nobody i knew got that reference 😂

-this entire search of the claw is a sham. what are they even looking for. clearly a set up by tamura but why/what does he suspect them of. esp w karen as accomplice, story should be airtight so why are they still investigating?

-john + ace dream team 💙

-god ace is such a yes-man. why is he so fucking loyal?? people like him are insane. how are they real. i suspect they arent. and no matter what you do you are never worthy of their unending loyalty anyway.

-so in the Good Place nancy was the one who had the key but in reality its ryan

-wonder if lucy's listening to ryan here talking about his love and grief for her

-"you were throwing away your future on a nothing girl" - nancy & ryan - their fathers dont want them to see "troubled" kids, want them to focus on school instead --> which they both struggle with and eventually do not achieve (maybe bc they want their kids to leave horseshoe bay?) for nancy its an interesting vice for someone whos really a goody two shoes/for ryan its subverted bc karen actually did worse than him ie committed real crimes

-"stay away from my family" surprise bitch bet you thought youd seen the last of me 😉

-interestingly, ryan probably would have agreed with karen about switching the ballot boxes but he wouldnt have really understood the social consequences. both josh and karen are determined to see ryan as the bad guy when actually he didnt do anything, they did. 🤔

-karen is such a ride or die friend. again w the loyalty. if someone swapped ballot boxes for me i'd be touched. im sure going into active labor made lucy a bit upset but damn. what a friend.

-wonder when nancy starts calling her "Lucy" instead of "dead lucy"

-lucy primarily haunting her own house/love seeing this house overtaken by nature

-the concept of writing things down : starting from the first ep, nancy's journal (then and now), writing out simon cards, similar cemetary cards in the Good Place, "beautiful minding it," culminating in lucy's journal / writing it down to help figure it out/when theres too much going on to keep it inside

-"i'll make a salad" NICK LMAOOO

-wonder what happened to carson's old lawyer?

-"my testimony begins in the summer of 1999" because your story always starts with your mother's story

-lmfaoooooo this shit taking the stand is soooo never allowed but oh well

-"she stole a knife" and carson's face lmfaooooo he knows its not true but what could he fucking say?? no?

-"i love you mom, i hope you never find this." ironic bc nancy didnt want her dad to find her journal either

-lucy never wanted anyone to find out how she died d/t shame- but she didnt want carson to go to jail for it so she finally allowed it (or just couldnt refuse nancy asking)

-"i'm sorry for what you lost"/"i'm never gonna be free from them"

-awww ace/mcginnis goodbye / i wonder if ace is nervous thinking about tamura --> ace's dad since chief mcginnis covered for ace out of respect for his dads sacrifice but tamura would throw both ace and his dad under the bus just to get at nancy (get at her via ace? since he was already used as the blackmail plot device? they kinda touched in this in s2 but not fully)

-okay sooo why are they still doing this forensic analysis thing? like the whole things over so whats the point. i wonder if john had packed up and gone home what coulda happened

-nancy/carson - interrupted moments:

•family dinner interrupted by nancy's accsations

•being home after finding ted interrupted by carson's arrest

•celebration of dropped charges interrupted by nancy discovering the truth about her parentage

-"i cooked your favorite to celebrate" ironic bc shes upset that hes not her "real" dad but he IS because he knows her best. like theyre literally proving it right in front of her. vs ryan whom she doesnt really want anyway AND rejects requests to get to know her. like come on sis. his 20 years of parenting you arent going away, ever. deal w it.

-carson's little smile before he said "'mom never hurt lucy" like he knows this is the end / scott's acting here just kills me

~~~~~~~~~

-why did the drews come back at all? and why did kate really keep the dress? carson says she did it as a link to lucy, but did kate want to keep it to be connected to lucy? or did she bury it to keep lucy repressed? is this a positive or a negative? +keeping in attic - did lucy start to haunt kate, so she unburied the dress?

and lastly:

-why doesnt lucy haunt everett and celia hudson? she kind of does ie painting but only when nancy visits bc shes actually haunting nancy. isnt everything the hudsons' fault?

[slashingdisneypasta]

MultiVillains x Reader || Drabbles

Plot: You’re with, and are in love with (Villain A), but for a long time now you’ve noticed that they way they treat you… isn’t up to scratch. And now this other guy, (Villain B) comes along and you feel loved and beautiful and competent all the time, with them. It’s a choice between someone who makes you believe that without a doubt soulmate are real and this person is yours, and the one that makes you feel really, really good. You give (Villain A) a choice.

Includes: Drayton Sawyer / Mayor Buckman (Horror Villains), Eric / Peter Hayes (Misc), Nina The Killer / Candy Pop (Creepypasta), Riddler and Edward Nygma / Barbara Kean (Gotham), and Human!Scar / Human!Shere Kahn (Disney Villains).

Warnings: Toxic or unhappy relationships, BLOOD (Nina and Candy Pop’s part- only a little but still), swearing, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (Riddler.)

Notes:

Inspired by ‘According To You’ by Orianthi. You can also listen to the Elise Lieberth version if you’re gonna!! It’s a lot more soulful and matter o’ fact, rather than mad and desperate. Both are soooo good, though.

Quick directory: If you’re looking for anger, I will send you to the Riddler and Eric and if you’re looking for sad I will show you two Drayton and Nina and if you want a happy ending, go to Scar! 

This is in your POV

~~~

Drayton Sawyer (Villain A) and Mayor Buckman (Villain B)

According to you I'm stupid I'm useless I can't do anything right

“Drayton!” Get back here, you basta-

“I’m too busy for this talk, girl / boy / kid!” He cuts off my thoughts with that dreaded phrase, that I hate hearing come from him and waves his arms dismissively without even turning to look at me. That phrase. That awful, familiar phrase. ‘I’m too busy for this talk’. Jesus Christ, it hits a nerve. He’s always too busy! “And so’re you! Grab the other end a’ this hay bale for me. We’re movin’ it on to the truck- Nubbins thinks I can get some money off ’em from passin’ famers. Better then having ‘em sit here and get eatin’ by Bubba.”

Gaining courage from my frustration, I march over there and slam my foot firmly down on the bale of hay. Drayton looks up from the side he was gearing to pick up and scrunches his face up in his own frustration. “What the hell are you doing? Get your lazy ass foot off this bale!”

“We have to talk, Drayton.”

“About what?!”

Has he already- Forgotten- What I-

I was just talking to him about it!!

“Oh my god Drayton, how self-absorbed can you be?? I was just talking to you about it!”

I feel stupid for feeling guilty for what’s going on, now. I suddenly remember what drove me to this situation- he doesn’t care one lick about me!

“Uhh… “He has the good manners to look ashamed for a moment, voice hesitating as he tries to remember something he knows just isn’t there in his head at all. “My bad.”

“Yes, your bad!”

He sighs in frustration, standing up straight and setting his hands on his hips with an annoyed vigour. He raises his eyebrows, as if to say ‘I’m waiting??’ and I control the urge to growl at him. This is not the way I wanted it to come out, and if he was even a little less infuriating, I would check myself and calm down- but he isn’t a little less infuriating and I want to throw this bale of hay at his scrawny ass.

“Well what’s goin’ on, girl / boy / kid?”

Ohhh, fucking Christ I hate it when he calls me that. Like I’m a child. This may fly with your brothers, Drayton, but we’re the same age! Goddamnit.

Mirroring his actions by putting my hands on my hips in an exaggerated way and raising my eyebrows back at him, I blurt it out firmly. Leaving zero room for him to possibly hear me wrong. “I’m having an affair.”

A moment of silence passes, and of course, now is when I immediately start to feel all the emotions that anger just a moment ago was blocking out. Regret, guilt, heartbreak… I take my foot off the hay back to the firm ground and my eyes well up with tears from the sheer force of the feelings. Drayton’s hands slip off his hips.

“… that Mayor?”

I’m surprised for a moment that Drayton knows. He could pick up on who it must be, which means he was noticing me. Its sort of good, to feel that he actually paid attention to me that one time, when we met... Buckman… but it isn’t enough to make up for the past decade. Looking away from him, I breathe and mess with my hair a bit simply for something to do with my hands. “… yeah.”

Dumbly, he tilts his head slightly to the side. His voice even stutters, which is so not Drayton. “… why?”

I hate myself for hurting him.

Looking back him, some tears break free down my cheeks. “Because! I forgot what it felt like to be liked. It… took me by surprise.”

“Maybe we should have a, ah, a sit down, then. Lets, lets go then. While the boy’s are out. To the kitchen, yeah. Come on, girl / boy / kid.”

He turns around as he says it, plus a lot more that isn’t important is just his ramblings as we walk off, but I wince from the name he gave me again.

Eric (Villain A) and Peter Hayes (Villain B)

According to you I'm difficult Hard to please Forever changing my mind I'm a mess in a dress Can't show up on time Even if it would save my life

The cruel grin on Eric’s face as he stands over me, doesn’t scare me. It just reminds me of how hurt he is. It’s true, I haven’t done anything… but now he knows what I’ve been thinking. About Peter, of all people, and probably more importantly what I’ve been thinking about him; Eric. “He’s not much better than me, you know.”

Grimacing, I fiddle more nervously with my hands that are in my lap and look down the barren hallway that I was able to corner him alone in. That’s very true. “I know that. That’s not the point.” When I look up, he’s scowling at me.

“Then what is the point?” He sounds mad. Like, bull mad. But I don’t waver, because under this shame- I’m pretty damn mad, too. I feel like my eyes flash at him not understanding the situation after I already, explicitly, explained to him what was wrong with our relationship two seconds ago. But its like all he heard was that I thought another man, Peter, a boy my age and not my instructor, was making me feel better than he was and he ignored everything else. If I wasn’t so pissed, I would understand. Jealousy is a serious emotion. I get that.

But he isn’t jealous.

Eric is possessive. Which is only one of our problems.

“The point is that I love you. I want, you.” It’s so true. Every word. I want Eric. I want him! Goddamnit, if I could genetically engineer a man who looks, acts and thinks like Eric, but with Peter’s attention span then I fucking would do so in heartbeat. “But you treat me like I’m just this small part of your life, like a hobby you can pick up and put down any time you like! And, god, you insult me! You disrespect me. I know you’re overworked and hormonal, but I don’t know how much longer I can wait it out before it isn’t a phase anymore!”

His goddamn nostrils flare, this time. “So you want to break up?”

Oh my god. My heart leaps up into my throat and, instantly, the word ‘No’ leaps right out of my chest, clear as day. “God, no. I don’t want to break up! I want to work through this together. I just want one thing in these negotiations Eric, and that’s to be liked by you.”

He breathes out slowly through his nose, and watch his shoulders and chest slowly drop. His eyes focus on the ceiling. “Y/N, you know I love you- “I get up from my seat abruptly and square up to him.

“Yes I know that! But that isn’t the same thing as being liked!” I am begging him. I am pleading that he understands, and we can be happy again.

… Because if he doesn’t, I have to do what’s best for me.

And as far as I can see, that is Peter. Or being alone! But honestly, the Peter option is looking better and better every second. Peter is an evil little shit, and violent, and deeply messed up, but he treats me well. He would never hurt me- emotionally or physically. And damn, I like spending time with him! And I really, really want that.

With Eric, if I can.

But all I’m seeing in this conversation is that option getting smaller and smaller.

For a good few minutes, he just stands there. First, he was breathing heavily… but now he’s just thinking. I watch with round eyes, and wait patiently. What’s happening? What are you thinking? Please, Eric.

Finally, he reaches over and squeezes more arm for a moment. It’s a comforting gesture, but when I look into those blue eyes of his, all I see is empty. He’s leaving. “We’ll talk about this later, k? I’ve got shit to do, now.”

For me, when he walked away, that was the end of everything right there. The last straw. I feel empty, too.

Nina The Killer (Villain A) and Candy Pop (Villain B)

According to you, according to you But according to him I'm beautiful Incredible He can't get me out of his head

“NINA!” I cut off her screaming with my own, nearly damn well shredding my vocal cords to cut through. But I succeed, and she’s now just glaring at me, twisting the tip of her knife into the tip of her finger. At first it wasn’t affecting her, just a nervous habit, but now theirs blood and I wince. Moving forward, I gently remove the knife from her hands, put it away in my hoodie pocket and carefully take her hands in mine, instead. Then I look back up at her, and look firm. “You’re just distracting us both. Don’t you wanna work through this with me?”

Through grit teeth, barely moving her face, she tells me. “I feel betrayed, Y/N.”

A rush of guilt for hurting her floods me -my stomach, my heart, - and I feel physically nauseous. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

“Why?”

“Are you really gonna listen to me?” I counter, causing her to flinch at the very thought of hearing me out. She looks away, but doesn’t remove her hands from mine and after a moment, sighs in utter defeat and frustration and nods fine. “Okay… um.” I hadn’t really thought about explaining what’s going on, to her. Being with a Creepypasta like her, who’s been traumatised and emotionally wrecked, you learn to keep your problems to yourself in fear they’ll relapse and hurt you. It’s not a fair or decent relationship in the slightest, I know, but it’s what we have. It’s what I’ve been perfectly happy with for years now. It’s what we’re fighting for.

So… I guess… I don’t have much of a choice, now. Taking a shaky breath in, I start and hope I don’t get murdered. “I feel like… you hate me.” She freezes under my touch but I don’t look up to see her face. “Like Jeff will always be more important than me, to you. He’s the one you want, he’s the one you have the connection to... and I understood that at first. I could take it… but- but the longer we stayed together I realised I always thought you would become more accustomed to me; That you would want me. But you don’t. Its always him-“ She tries to wrench her hands from me, but I clamp my grip down hard on her and drag her back, looking up into her face with a determined, probably pretty pissed off look on my face. “Nina. Still talking, here.”

“Its… its not true!” She doesn’t look so sure, her own determined-pissed off look dissolving into nervousness, chewing on her bottom lip.

“It is.” That look is all the admission there needs to be. Theirs no more supposing about it- Jeff will always be a step ahead of me. That Michael Jackson looking bastard. “And if I‘m going to be with someone, then I want to be number one. And, i-if you can’t… “I chew on my cheek to force myself not to cry. “Nina, Pop does want me like that.”  

I want to show her through my eyes, how serious this is. My desperation for her to just step up for me, and my stubborn desire to be wanted like he wants me.

God, I thought this conversation might help- but I don’t feel like stopping what’s between Pop and I now, ever.

I think its over with me and Nina, as she looks innocent and wide eyed and lost and… heartbroken.

It is the end, then.

She detangles her hands finally from mine, and cups my face in thin, freezing cold, shaky hands. “I wish… “I gather her middle against my body, in between my arms and bury my face in her neck, tears running freely down my face now. “Oh god, I wish.”

I wish we’d met before all that with Jeff. It definitely would’ve been us.

Me too.

Riddler and Edward Nygma (Villain/s A) and Barbara Kean (Villain B)

She's into me for everything I'm not According to you I need to feel appreciated Like I'm not hated, oh no Why can't you see me through her eyes? It's too bad you're making me decide

My back hits the wall a little too hard, causing my head to knock back into it and my vision to go blurry as he speaks his ironically phrased ‘peace’, so all I see is a very deep scowl and green. I’m pared from his crooked teeth and the dark, hateful way his eyes will be zeroed in on me. “How could you do this to me?? I allowed Ed to keep you, I- “He makes a constipated face as my vision clears up, his fingers digging deeply into my hips. I wriggle and twitch slightly, and try to quietly pull them out of my skin, but they are not moving, and I don’t even think he feels me struggling. So I give up, focusing instead on just regaining my vision. “I STARTED TO LOVE YOU TOO!”

Rolling my head against the wall in boredom, like a student waiting for that bell, and I don’t even flinch when he screams in my face at this point, although I do admit; It of course isn't pleasant. “Ugh, Ed, your breath stinks- “

“I AM NOT ED!”

“Okay, Riddler, your breath stinks.” Same-Same, for me. 

“Treat this seriously- you’ve betrayed me.” He is so mad. No matter how vehemently this guy tries to tell people he isn’t Ed- he sure is controlled by his emotions like Ed. He wouldn’t be this mad if he wasn’t heartbroken. Fucker was born from emotions.

Well guess what Riddler? I’m heartbroken too. And you put me here.

He scrapes his fingers against my skin, and I just grin wider.

There is nothing quite like annoying this man- especially when he’s treating me with such little respect. My eyes flash up to his and I grit my teeth. “I thought you were smart, man. I don’t love you the way I loved Ed- the way I now love her. Mistake number 1. You shouldn’t have ever let yourself fall as deep as you have, here.”

“But you do love me?!” He’s desperate and trying to reassure himself, and at the same time remind me of that fact. And oh god, I know. I know that I love him. Despite his many, maaany faults, I love him. He is what’s left over from Ed, my first love, who’s a whole lifetime away from me now. I’m attached to him, the Riddler, whether I like it or not!

And I don’t like it.

That’s why I’m leaving.

“Mistake number 2. You couldn’t just check yourself- because you’re so perfect, right? You couldn’t just look at how you were treating me and work on it? If you had, we wouldn’t be here right now. I wanted you… but you can’t see me the same way Barbara does.  

I wrap my fingers around the object in my pocket, feelings its need. It’s about fifteen centimetres long, and black, with little nibs at the end designed to leave a nasty lasting impact.

He’s looking at me, waiting for what else he did wrong. Always a learner, and a sucker for pain. “Mistake three- the Hamartia. You then gave me a choice, between you and Barbara. You should’ve known I would never pick you. I love you, yes.” For a second my voice is soft, and I let go of the weapon to reach up and cup his, and more importantly Ed’s, beautiful face. My grip becomes slightly tighter after a second. “But I love her, too. The difference is just that she sees me and sees someone beautiful. You see a possession. I.e. you think it’s a given that I’ll be with you.”

His eyes go cold, and even darker. His mad, laughing smirk makes its appearance, and I move one hand back into my pocket. “What makes you think I’ll even let you leave?”

“I didn’t think that.” I admit, watching for his reaction. As soon as his smile broadens like the sad, mistaken gremlin that he is, I pull out the taser and push the button, pressing the needles into the Riddler’s neck.

He immediately loosens up everything, and flings back awkwardly to the floor. 

“I’m so done with you. You took Ed from me.” My voice wobbles and I cover my mouth, pressing my lips tightly to each other for a moment to pull myself together. Then I glance back down at the Riddler’s twitching body one final time. “And don’t think for one second that you’ll just come pick me up later; I’m going to Oz’s.”

Human!Scar (Villain A) and Human!Shere Kahn (Villain B)

But according to me You're stupid You're useless You can't do anything right

We spent all day fighting, and now I’m just… tired. And sad. I’m so tired, of pleading with him to like me. Always doing more, for him. Making his favourite meals, smiling when he tells unfunny jokes, agreeing ‘to an extent’ -a bare faced lie, - with the shit he spouts… Today, an actual fight about how I feel, was just the crux of this mess that I’ve been hoping was a relationship for so long. But it isn’t a relationship; Not a proper one.

If it was, I wouldn’t be killing myself trying to be happy.

So I’m leaving, officially.

I give Scar one more cuddle, burying my head in his chest for a good minute, begging myself to be strong and let go, then slip out of the bed and collect my suit case. I packed this while he was cooking dinner earlier, and hid under the bed. Of course, I’ll have to come back and get the rest of my stuff… but Kahn say’s he’ll help me.

Even still in this room, where Scar’s and my relationship turned from beautiful to a monster, the thought of Kahn makes me smile- I can’t help it. Just the mention of him in my head, and then his face comes to mind -Smirking at me, about to tickle me and I know it,- and the corners of my mouth perk upwards and my teeth show. It feels really, really good and I can’t wait to see him.

Taking a deep breath, I leave the room and the apartment all together. There is a slight nauseous feeling in my stomach from doing so, but I push on and the further I get to the exit, the freer I feel. 

Finally, I twist front door open and take a deep breath through my nose, feeling one last moment of longing to go back, but knowing I wont. I cant. It’s violet walls that Scar and I painted together when we first moved in, that now give me headache... And its white wood theme, that was supposed to brighten up the place when he used to leave me alone a lot at home... and the knitted coasters I spent time choosing and making to avoid hanging out with him… I leave it all, closing the door behind me. 

Thinking about all that makes me want to cry, but I’ve already cried to much about all of this- it would feel like overkill.

Besides, I need to focus a little more on not smiling, which would be in such bad taste, when I see Kahn waiting for me outside. I tilt my head to the side. “No car?”

“Nope, we’re walking darling. I thought it might be better for you tonight.”

I take a deep breath of the fresh air while Kahn takes my hand in his. It feels good. “Yeah, you might be right… That sounds good.“

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Hey, can I ask how the rfa (and minor duo if that's okay) react to an mc who is usually innocent and adorable shows a secret kinky side of her? Thanks!

KiNkY (imma add a bunch of bdsm btw, maybe a few other kinks? Anyway I hope that’s alright pft)

RFA+minor duo with a lady on the streets and a monster on the sheets (NSFW) -I’m so sorry for the title

Zen:

One of the things Zen loved the most about you, was how cute you were when he teased you

Or just how cute you were in general

Sometimes you’d make such a cute face, Zen just wanted to attack you with a bunt of kisses

It had been a bit after you two had started going out that you confessed you were actually into handcuffs and blindfolds

Zen’s nose was about to start bleeding pft

Honestly do you want to kill this man? He will literally grab you and throw you on the bed, ready to bind you ans make you moan out his name in desperation

Zen is actually super turned on by this kinky side of you, he loves it

He is a man that will try his best to hold back, but once you tell him it’s alright, that he can go full on beast mode™️?

Oh he’s gonna make you go crazy

When you wake up you aren’t going to be able to walk (and you’ll probably go for another round of many)

Yoosung:

Aw you’re both the super innocent couple that Seven loves to tease

Honestly Yoosung thought you were as innocent as him, he thought you were both the same

One night though, you had a very long day at work, and you wanted to let off some steam

You immediately went towards Yoosung and started kissing him, rubbing his length and making him moan before he was even able to figure out what the hell was going on

You gently pushed him to your bed, and there you took of his shirt and tied it around his arms, and then you tied that to the headboard of the bed

You quickly went down on Yoosung, sucking his member and making him moan your name

You teased him every once in a while, making him beg for you to continue, gasping for air and tears in his eyes

Anyway you both had an amazing night

Yoosung found out something about birth you and himself that day

He doesn’t judge you at all for showing that side of yourself, and he actually likes it quite a lot

Jaehee:

She was way too turned on

Honestly she was surprised at first

One night you asked her about some light bondage and maybe gagging

She was a bit shocked, since Jaehee is honestly pretty vanilla, but she agreed

Jaehee is mostly a switch, so sometimes she will be the one doming you, but most of the time it’s you with her

The times she does it, you have the best night of your life

Jaehee doesn’t mind at all, and she thinks it’s fine if you have those kinks

As long as you talk it out with her first, she’ll agree to do some light bdsm, or other kinks you might have

She was a bit nervous the first time you did it, since she didn’t want to hurt you, but you kissed her and told her it was alright

The rest of the night you spent it cuddling in bed and murmuring words of love to each other.

Jumin:

Oh this man loves it

Jumin also has a very secret kinky side of his you know? So when he finds out you may be into it too he’s glad, after all he won’t force you to do something you don’t want

He’s just glad you’re both on the same page

Also it turns him on a lot

Sometimes he just loves how adorable you are,but then BAM, you switch into this other person that makes his heartbeat like crazy

Jumin really likes bondage, and he took a few classes and read books on it (he’s a sweetheart I love him)

Jumin will dom you most of the time, trying you up in compromising positions, teasing you while he kisses you, stopping right when you’re about to cum and then making you beg for his cock

Afterwards Jumin will help clean you up and ask if you’re alright.

Jumin is honestly fine with whatever you’re into, that is unless it harms you (like knife play or smth like that)

But he’s totally into the deeper bdsm stuff

Saeyoung:

Saeyoung is a switcheroo

The first time you ever topped him, he was so excited, he almost couldn’t hold it in

For you, his adorable and cute 606, yo be tying him up and gagging him? Oh boy

He’s super turned on, he likes doming but he also likes it when you take the lead once in a while

Sometimes you’ll both take turns in topping or bottoming

Saeyoung is honestly alright with anything, the only thing he’s iffy about it’s probably you hitting him or him hitting you (trauma you know? Although I recently saw that your kinks are based on your trauma soooo 👀 Jumin honey what’s up)

I’m conclusion Saeyoung loves it, wether it’s you gagging him and riding him until he isn’t able to cum anymore, or if it’s him teasing you and thrusting deep into you while you’re blindfolded and all tied up

V:

Oh our sweet cinnamon roll is just

He’s super confused

Because you’re the most adorable and innocent person he knows

Until one day you showed a completely different side of you

You took a bit of a more dominant role,and Jihyun was super surprised since he didn’t expect it

And that day, V got pegged

He doesn’t mind if you tip him, and honestly he doesn’t mind that kinky side of you

He will mostly rely on sense play, since it’s a bit more vanilla and he’s not one to go full on berserk with sex

He doesn’t mind about your kinks, as long as they’re safe and that the two of you can agree on them!

Saeran:

You were both making out one night, when you pulled out some ropes and shyly asked Saeran if he could tie you up

He is just

He’s a blushing mess

In his eyes you had always been a very innocent person, someone who he honestly thought would never be into that kinky stuff

But oh now,plot twist! You actually are into the kinky stuff!

And Saeran? He likes it

He won’t really admit it since he becomes super shy

But when you’re sometimes riding him, or when you’re tied up and begging for him while he’s on top of you, he loves it

Of course Saeran won’t go too far, he’s mostly pretty vanilla, unless you want him to be a bit more rough

He will need the reassurance, but if you like it, then he’ll let go and be a bit rougher with you

He actually likes food play,it’s not that bad for him. He also may or may not like the submissive stuff too, after all, our boy is a switch. He likes seeing you dominate him and ride him,but he also likes it when he ties you up and leaves you a moaning mess

[doglover502]

A oneshot I made (I've been writing a few) in the Wig OK Bruh AU. Of Cody getting some romantic advice from Noah, of all characters.

Some slight Coditty time

"I don't know...you think girls like swords?"

Noah shook a bottle of formula in one hand when trying to balance his daughter in the other. "In my experience, it depends on the girl. He looked over to the fedora-clad nerd currently sitting on his couch. "If it's Kitty, then maybe."

Cody groaned, and glanced back at Noah. "You know, you're not being very helpful", he said before turning his attention back to the TV.

"Hey", Noah pointed to Cody with the bottle, peeved out. "You came into my apartment to ask for advice! Or so you claimed anyway…"

Cody looked up from the video game he was playing. "Your video game system is better", he sheepishly admitted.

"Well couldn't you go to Harold's or something? I'm kind of in the middle of something here-"

Noah was interrupted when his two month old started to fuss and reach out for the bottle in his outstretched arm. Noah turned his attention back to her.

"Hey, I know, can you wait two more seconds", he asked, with noticeably more patience. "I'm lecturing Uncle Cody about why his plan sucks."

"Hey!"

"It's true", Noah shrugged and sat down on the couch next to Cody. He put the bottle into his daughter's mouth, who immediately started to calm down with what she wanted. He watched Cody continue playing the game in a half-asleep daze.

Cody glanced over a bit, before double taking when he saw exactly what 

"Didn't think you'd actually put Bramble in the dinosaur one", he commented.

Noah looked down at Bramble, wearing the orange and blue dinosaur footies they received at their baby shower.

"Yeah I didn't either", he admitted. "But it's the only clothes she seems to like. We try to put her in anything else, she starts bawling."

Cody laughed. "How long did that go on for?"

"Stop changing the subject", Noah kept him back on track. The sooner Cody got his advice, the sooner he would leave. "So, when are you gonna ask her out already?"

"I will", Cody insisted. "I just don't know how. I've been waiting for the right thing to say to follow-up on our last conversation."

"And when will that be? You gonna wait for ANOTHER friend to go into labor?"

Cody thought back to that awkward second meeting.

-----

"It's ok man! Just keep doing the breathing!"

"It... it's HAPPENING! It's actually happening! I THOUGHT I'D BE MORE PREPARED FOR THIS!!!"

"I know, everyone does on the first kid, big guy."

Owen sat surrounded by friends in the hospital waiting room. He was in the midst of hyperventilating.

"Just keep breathing in the bag", Geoff instructed. "In and out. In and out."

Owen did so, and tried to get calmer with other reassurances.

Across from them in separate chairs, Kitty and Cody were sitting next to each other. The 2's silence was so tense you could cut a knife through it.

"Soooo...uhh", Cody twiddled his fingers and looked towards Kitty. ".....How ya been?"

---------------

"I made headway", Cody tried to defend himself. "And I think she was really impressed with my singing."

"Ah yes", Noah rolled his eyes. "Izzy's "birthing ambience"."

"You gotta admit, coming into the world to Bohemian Rhapsody. It was pretty badass! Especially the way you added on with that high note", Cody complimented, unaware that "high note" was actually a high-pitched scream of pain. "You still never told us what you thought of it."

"Well sorry. I was a little too busy getting this", he moved his head down to Bramble for emphasis, "little gremlin out of me to write down my critique notes."

"Alright dude", Cody feigned offense. "Man, you are really snappy today."

"Yeah", Noah looked down at Bramble, still drinking the bottle, completely unaware of the conversation going on around her. "This kid here. She's kept me and Owen up for weeks...but at the same time….I think having her and Owen around's made me the happiest I've been", he smiled while he looked down at his daughter.

Cody smiled at him. Seeing Noah be so sincere and happy was such a rarity. And it was a nice change of pace. "That's really great dude."

"Yeah….so I gotta make up for all that smiling and lay it extra thick on everyone else", Noah's smile changed back to a frown as he looked back up at Cody. "So grow some kiwis, and ask her on a date."

Annnnd, there was the old Noah back.

"I...I would, but... I'm just nervous", Cody admitted. "I mean, Kitty's cool! She likes video games too! She's also seen the world!"

"Yeah, she's a regular female you", Noah rolled his eyes. "So, what's stopping you from dating her and staying out of my apartment?"

"Well, your door", Cody commented. "And….and well, me."

Noah raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"I don't know if you've noticed but…. I'm not exactly the cool guy everyone thinks I am."

Noah gasped and sarcastically feigned shock. "No! You? The Codemeister?"

"Ok everyone but YOU thinks I am" Cody rolled his eyes. "I just don't want to screw my chances up with her. I've already made a bad first impression."

"That's true", Noah nodded. "Doesn't get any worse than sloshed at my baby shower. Well I guess unless you puked all over her shirt….oh wait...you did."

The 2 were interrupted briefly when Bramble started babbling, the bottle finished. Noah held her out to Cody. "Can you hold her please?"

Cody was confused, but took Bramble into his arms. Noah got up from the couch and went behind Cody's view. "Well, yeah I did, but that's when I was drunk. Who knows what I'll do-"

"Put her over your shoulder."

"Uh...ok", Cody did so, and continued speaking. "Who knows what I'll do while sober. I just...I don't want to be-"

"Creepy", Noah interjected. "Like a skinny 16 year old trying to sneak his way into a goth's bra?"

"...... We'll go with something like that, sure."

Cody could hear some water running behind him, probably Noah by the sink. "Relax, you're overthinking it", he heard Noah's voice talking. "Keep that up, and by the time you're done thinking, she's gonna move onto somebody else. Just talk with her like how you talk to us."

Cody heard the water stop and Noah's footsteps get closer to him. "For example, like the two of us. What do we usually talk about?"

"Video games? Job updates? Our latest therapy revelations from looking back on our time as reality TV stars?"

"Exactly", Noah came back into Cody's view and sat beside him on the couch. "Maybe leave out the therapy parts, in case she already thinks you're crazy", he noted and started to pat Bramble's back. "But other than that, just talk to her about the stuff you like, and see what she likes."

Cody thought about it. Maybe he was overthinking this. But, it was an improvement over his underthinking as a teenager...I guess. But he felt more confident, at the very least, a whole dinner talking about video games wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

He smiled up at Noah, with his regained confidence. "Thank you Noah. I really appreciate you helping me with this."

"No Cody"

"BLARGH!"

Cody's smile quickly changed into a shocked grimace. He could feel the spit up running down the back of his shirt. His eye twitched as Noah took Bramble back into his arms with an enormous shit-eating grin, leaving Cody a shell-shocked mess. 

"Thank YOU."

[supposed2bfunny]

Heck it! Vento Aureo Neuro-Divergent Headcanons!

Narancia

-Narancia has (undiagnosed) ADHD.

-And boy does he love to stim with his hands! Using his flick knife is his preferred method of keeping his hands busy, but that tapping he’s doing while listening to his boombox? Slappy time! 

-He also flaps when he gets served his favorite meal or a fancy dessert at restaurants with the gang.

-His feet are EXTREMELY restless and he has a tendency to kick his shoes on and off when he’s sitting around. This makes them a tad loose, which is why they always come flying off in battle.

-Surprisingly, Abbacchio is the most equipped to handle Narnacia’s energy and helps ground him with his Cool Goth Vibe.

-Abba and Nara paint their nails together sometimes when Narancia is feeling overwhelmed. Especially on rainy days when the sound of the rain puts him on edge.

-He’ll just start singing jingles from commercials at random, sometimes in the middle of a conversation. When they get in his head, he’s gotta let them out! In general, noises can be either a source of elation or anxiety for him.

-He’s often lost in his own thoughts so deep that when someone speaks to him, it can take a few seconds for him to process what’s just been said. 

-Sights, sounds, and smells all tend to overwhelm him, but touch is very soothing. Look how tight that shirt is; there’s a reason!

-Sometimes if he’s having a hard time, he’ll just ask for a bear-hug from Mista. The pressure helps him relax instantly. Since it took a long time for Narancia to work up the nerve to ask for a hug, he would at first just grab one of Mista’s arms and drape it around his shoulders, or even place one of his hands on his head. It didn’t take long for Mista to understand the wordless request for comfort.

Fugo

-Holy fuck words are hard for Fugo.

-Unless you ask him about something he’s passionate about. Then he will chat away and info-dump, his eyes light up and it’s one of the rare times you’ll see Fugo open up and look super happy.

-Since he has a hard time socially, he tries to use formalities to bridge the gap between himself and friends. Teaching math to Narancia? Formal, serves a functional purpose. A logical thing to do, really. Also means he gets to spend the afternoon with his friend :) He’s also always trying to take on extra tasks for Buccellati so he can be around him.

-He adores Buccellati, but Bucci tends to make a lot of intense eye contact, which always makes Fugo antsy because he hates eye contact. Thank god for Abbacchio, who will go on a mission with him and return to Naples without ever looking at his face. What a good friend!

-Yes, sometimes he practices speaking in front of a mirror, trying to keep his head high and make his cadence more like Buccellati’s. And what about it?

-Touch-averse to the extreme. Do not touch him. Please.

-Hands-down pickiest eater of the group because a lot of smells and textures freak him out. His sense of smell in particular is super strong. When in doubt, strawberries are always a good way to make him eat. He can devour those all day and never tire of them. He’s been known to just eat bread for lunch if the smell of his meal is Bad and puts him off.

-Also prone to stomach-aches from stress. His mind-body connection is VERY strong and his social anxiety informs how he feels. And since he’s anxious most of the time...:(

-His skin is so sensitive: his suits are made from super soft material and don’t have tags. His clothing budget is sky-high but he looks dope and he feels good!

-He tends to pick at his hair, so he has horrible split ends all the time.

-He’s probably the least likely one in the gang to self-sooth or practice self-care because he doesn’t feel he deserves to feel good. Thankfully, the rest of the gang feels quite differently and is slowly but surely memorizing everything they can do to make his life easier.

Mista

-He’s naturally extroverted and loves to be with friends, but he needs breaks to recharge frequently, which is why he always brings along books or magazines to read and have quiet time. If he doesn’t get a chance to decompress, he gets fidgety, overly chatty, and very unhappy. 

-Understanding what people are saying and interpreting other people’s feelings? Easy! Communicating back to people what’s on his own mind? Oof!

-Voice modulation? Lol never heard of her. Sometimes he’s just yelling instead of talking and that’s that on that.

-Despite the efforts he puts into being the “laid-back” type, he’s actually prone to anxiety attacks. Generally, he’s pretty helpless to communicate when he’s going into an attack, and doesn’t want to be seen as overly emotional or worse: a burden. So he tends to clam up until he reaches a breaking point. The only two people who can soothe him once he’s in the height of anxiety are Buccellati and, surprisingly, Fugo.

-His fear of the number four is 100% a self-imposed sort of order to help him feel he has control over some aspect of his life. Is that specific number linked to a childhood trauma? Probably! He’s not gonna talk about!

-Loves to eat, but he used to get distracted/lost in thought and skip meals chronically when he was younger. That’s why the Pistols are always begging for food at mealtimes. It gives him a routine.

-Executive dysnfucntion to the max.

-Hyper-empathic. Don’t let the tough demeanor fool you: he cries like every day, and adopts the vibe of whoever he’s with, which is again, why he gets overwhelmed and needs down time despite his love of socializing. 

-Zero spatial awareness. If there is something to bump into, he’s already bumped into it, knocked it over, tripped over it, or stepped on it. Half the time he’s hurt on missions, he’s the last one to notice.

Giorno

-Zero perception of personal space. Especially if he really likes you. (People are quick to assume he and Mista are a couple because his hands are always on him: it’s really just a security thing for Gio, nothing romantic intended).

-He also tends to get right up in your face if you’re having a one-on-one conversation. For the longest time, Fugo avoided talking with him alone cuz he Did Not Like the invasion of personal boundaries.

-He has a silly sense of humor, but his delivery is so flat people often can’t tell he’s joking, which leaves him feeling kinda :/

-Not good at reading people’s tones. If he has empirical evidence to glean something about someone (ie Buccellati’s hesitating to injure the drug addict teen in their first fight, which showed Giorno that he’s a kind and trustworthy man), then he’s confident. But he gets confused when he has to go off of facial cues and tone of voice alone. Those are way harder to understand for him!

-He’s constantly asking if his friends are upset with him because he can’t tell and he’s very anxious about that! At least Abbacchio is upfront about his feelings, even if he’s not too fond of Giorno. At least once a day you’ll hear a very polite “Hey, Narancia...I’m very sorry to trouble you, but you’re not mad at me, are you? No? Okay just checking...”

-Put Fugo and Giorno in a room together and get them talking about Roman history or biology and they will not shut up. They LOVE to info dump at one another!

-He had such a lonely childhood and he is hyper aware of how literal and overly formal he can be. He acts collected but he’s actually so self-conscious of it, and is terrified that the gang puts up with him because of his stand abilities, not because of who he is as a person.

-Soooo sensory-seeking. Please braid his hair! Go ahead! He would adore that!

-Has been known to summon Gold Experience just for a hug when he was really upset. These days Narancia and Mista try to be there for him instead.

-He has synesthesia all the time, which might be part of how he’s able to think so creatively when fighting other stand users. Sometimes on bad days, he’ll just communicate in colors instead of words, because it takes less energy.

-On one really bad day, Abbacchio asked why Giorno was showing Mista pictures of different gray skies in a book and not talking. Mista explained that those pictures were what was in Giorno’s head, that words were too heavy that day. After a moment’s thought, Abbacchio grabbed his headphones, set them on Giorno, and put on Monteverdi’s Symphony No. 3 in D Minor with the order “listen to that and tell me what you see.” Giorno searched through some of his books, then showed him a series of Monet’s water lillies. “That’s what I thought. Keep listening, punk. I’ll need the headphones back at the end of the day, or else you’re in for it.” Closest bonding experience they ever had.

At the moment I can’t think of anything for Abbacchio or Buccellati, but I’m happy to hear any other ideas people may have!

[writingpun]

can’t stop thinking about this so

JUNOVERSE FIGHTING STYLES HERE WE GO

Juno: he fights like an actual 1930s boxer. dances around a bit. tends to make a show out of what he’s doing for the first part of the fight and is fine with taking a couple of punches, but just after you think you’ve got him down he starts throwing fast, mean sucker punches underneath the dramatic two-second-wind-up ones. Main goal is to weather your worst so he knows exactly what you can dish out and then take you down when you stop for breath. Knows his limits on pain, though, and you can tell he thinks you’re tough if he actually tries to avoid the hits you’re sending his way. Will flirt with you while he’s fighting you. 

Alessandra: still like a boxer, but more modern, with some very unsportsmanlike moves thrown in for flavor. She’s Cockroach Strong and she doesn’t care about playing mind games. Her only goal is win and do it fast and move on. Steadiest foot stance on mars. Nobody is moving her unless she wants it that way. Tends to frontload her fights, pouring everything into the first twenty seconds or so, and if you aren’t down by then she’s more and more likely to run away or pull something really nasty in an effort to get you to stop. 

Nureyev: he likes to think he’s got a different way of fighting for each persona but he’s got the same kind of style. fights like a dancer, all grace and poise, taking as few punches as possible. His goal is to tire you out and then stab you to death. None of this fists nonsense, mostly because he’s surprisingly bad at throwing punches. He’s strong and all, he prolly just doesn’t have the calluses. Will absolutely insult you while you fight, hoping to make you angrier so you get tired and sloppy more quickly. Honestly though, I don’t believe he gets into enough straight-up fights because he tends to knock people out using pressure points etc. rather than engaging. 

Rita: she doesn’t do that. how dare you try to fight her, mistah steel’s gonna be soooo mad--

Buddy: Extremely calm fighter. Even if you’re going at her with everything you have, she’ll look perfectly expressionless. Concentrating. No anger, no fear, just that concentration. She likes to figure out what makes a fighter work, and unwind them from there. Expert at deflecting attacks and using people’s momentum against them. People who attack her first have already lost the battle. She is at heart a strategist, and it fucking shows. Tends to let her crew handle things before she herself gets involved, and rarely actually fights hand-to-hand. Why would you do that when you have blasters? But still, a fairly solid fighter. 

Vespa: she fights like a feral animal, fast and mean. Goes for vital points only. Sorry, if you wanted to live, you wouldn’t be fighting the assassin. She will tear your throat out if she can get her teeth near it. She’s kinda bondy, which makes fighting her even worse. You ever felt an elbow so sharp it could be a knife? You’re gonna know what it feels like by the end of this fight. The most effective thing to do against her is grab and throw her like a goose, but even then, she’ll just get madder. Her one weakness is that she’s kind of got a timer on her fights-- not until she runs out of breath, but until she can’t block out the pain anymore. She feels hits twice as hard, but only after a little ways into the fight. 

Jet: Hit sponge. Was that the best you had? He has seen worse and picked it up by the scruff of its neck like an unhappy kitten, which is probably what will happen to you. He doesn’t fight so much as end fights. His punches aren’t anything special, but he doesn’t really need to punch you when he can pin you. Basically a wrestler. Have fun getting outta that headlock. 

[embarrassingsmartphonegame]

Anything (Chapter 5) - Nik Ryder x f!MC

Summary: After surviving an attempt on her life, she discovers there are worse fates than dying. And they’re all ice cold.

Warnings for this chapter: gun violence, swear words, and some fluff

Links to previous chapters: one // two // three // four

True to her word, Leah returned to Nik’s apartment a few hours later with more sleep under her belt than in the past three months. She smiled shyly as she walked into his apartment and noticed that he shaved his beard to his old neat stubble, and her stomach did a funny flip as he led her to his car. The two made disjointed small talk coupled with long bouts of silence; it was as if the events of the previous night hadn’t happened now that it was daylight and the two were more awake, more sober. And neither wanted to admit that they were surprised by the turn of events. 

Leah still tried to wrap her head around the fact that not only did Nik not hate her after she suddenly left, but he was also willing to go with her to Lamrian on her wild goose chase to find herself. And Nik was still wary it was all a dream or a trick and that she wasn’t actually there with him, that he truly had lost her like he lost everyone else in his life. Both stole sneaky glances at the other as they drove Nik’s car and walked through the woods and eventually towards the vast, open fields to the cathedral guarding Lamrian quietly, still keeping a careful distance from each other.

“Soooo…” Leah began, keeping her eyes trained forward. “Anything weird happen at the Graveyard Shift while I was gone?”

“I mean...it’s always weird in this city,” Nik replied, his eyes also trained forward. “But Garrus and Krom are still going strong. Never seen either of ‘em that happy; it’s kinda cute but kinda gross.”

“Aww, that’s so great! They deserve each other!” Leah remembered that night she and Ivy convinced Krom to make a move since it was so painfully obvious they liked each other. “Is Ivy still making you hunt ghosts for her services?”

“Strangely enough, she hasn’t been accepting any requests lately,” Nik chuckled, shaking his head as he recalled the time Leah tagged along to hunt a ghost for Ivy. “I think she’s been busy with some research. Something about her New York vampire Internet friend’s friend dying and then turning into a vampire while being a Bloodkeeper, whatever that means. And I think trying out some human video games with that same friend.”

“Okay now that’s wild, complete bonkers. I hope that person’s okay; dying wasn’t exactly a walk in the park…” Leah shivered, all of a sudden feeling cold even in the late spring weather of Louisiana. She tried to block out the memories that plagued her for a good two months after she left New Orleans.

“I know I probably shouldn’t ask, but how did you cope after everything?” Nik asked, glancing at her to make sure she was okay. “I can’t even imagine what that was like for you. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“How did I cope? Well...I didn’t.” Leah laughed mirthlessly, a smile not quite reaching her eyes. “I think I already told you the majority of it: stuck with my boring office job, avoided my mom, tried to pass the time with hobbies but failed so I got drunk a lot and did a bunch of people and other bad stuff. But probably the worst thing I did was cut my own bangs at 4am.”

“...Seriously?”

“Yeah I was having a crisis.”

“Because you saw your best friend get attacked, were hunted down relentlessly by a genocidal monster, found out your dad’s a Fae lord, saw your dad die, and then you died?” Leah blinked as he listed it all out in one breath; had she really been talking about it that much?

“Well...okay yeah pretty much. But also because I turned 25.”

Nik paused, confused. “What does that have to do with anything? Is that seriously a crisis?”

“A mid- okay fine not really, quarter-life crisis.” Leah let out a small laugh as she hazily remembered her conversation with Kristin, shaking her head and putting her hands in her pockets. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“I’m only a year younger than you, rook.”

“Then we’ll have a talk a year from now.”

Nik let a grin spread across his features. “That mean you’ll still be here a year from now?”

Leah shifted her eyes for a moment, and when she spoke again her voice was the perfect mix of playful and sincere. “Maybe.”

The two paused as they reached their destination. The castle guarding Lamrian loomed over them, its broken windows staring down at Leah like judgment. Leah felt very small. She felt as if she was a specimen on a petri dish placed under a microscope, and the Fae just behind those magical doors were scrutinizing her every being. 

Leah froze in fear, and she could feel the panic rising in her tight, tight chest. Nik noticed her expression and instinctively took one of her hands in his, giving it a small squeeze. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. And I’m with you every step of the way.”

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t get a hold of her emotions, no matter how hard she tried or what she told herself she needed to do. Tears sprung on the corners of her eyes and ran down her face freely, and big, gasping sobs escaped from her mouth. She wrenched her hand from his, turned her back to the castle, and started walking away. Leah was hunched over and her hands grasped each other as she walked with Nik following her.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Leah could only see red, and that red was directed at herself. “I really dragged you out here for nothing! Why can’t I fucking face them?!”

Nik stopped her by placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her around so they were face-to-face. “Rook...breathe.”

She shook her head, trying to will the tears away but failing and launching into an anxiety-fueled. “Ugh, this is pathetic and embarrassing. I never should’ve stepped foot in Lamrian and I keep dragging you into my problems. I drag everyone into my problems! Kristin’s probably still paying for an entire week of hospital bills, Vera had to face her mom, Cal had to go against his pack, you and Katherine risked your lives by hunting Thomas down...fuck! When this was all happening, I should’ve just ignored you and stood in an open field and let the Bloodwraith—”

She was cut off by him pulling her into his strong arms, squeezing her so tightly she had no choice but to stop talking. “Don’t. I mean it, rook. Goddammit.”

“Why do you keep helping me?” she sobbed into his shoulder. “All I do is drag you down.”

He rubbed her back tenderly. “Because I want to. I care so damn much about you, rook, you have no idea.”

Before Leah could respond, the sound of someone clearing their throat came from behind them. Nik instantly positioned his body in front of hers, his crossbow aimed at the voice before Leah could even blink. He put it down once they realized that it was the same Fae guarding Lamrian. His lips were set in a straight line and his eyes devoid of any emotion, a soldier on duty.

“Daughter of Lamrian,” he kneeled reverently as he spoke. “You have returned. Welcome. Let me lead the way.”

“Thank you. But unfortunately, I can’t come inside. It’s not the right time.” Leah steadied her breath. She appreciated the fact that he ignored her crimson red eyes and shaky voice. “But will you please relay a message for Lady Thalissa for me?”

“Anything you wish is my command.”

“Please tell her that Lord Elric loves her and will be waiting for her. And that I’m sorry for everything that happened and will one day return. Just...not today.”

He nodded and straightened up, preparing to relay the message. Leah stopped him. “And also...this is for the people of Lamrian: I’m sorry. I’m just sorry that they lost a leader and an heir because of me.”

The Fae guard nodded again, his lips in a thinner, harsher line; Leah could have sworn that his eyes displayed hints of anger and grief before they fell into the trained dutiful expression. She let him walk away, and when he was finally out of sight in the castle she let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding.

“You did the right thing, rook.”

“Then why do I still feel so shitty?”

The two began to walk back to Nik’s car and eventually reached the woods. “It’d be weird if you didn’t feel like shit. It’s a lot, and sometimes you feel like you’re never gonna get out of that tunnel. But you will. And I’m here.”

“Nik, I--” But Leah was cut off by Nik suddenly shouting and tackling her to the ground as a knife embedded itself to the tree right behind where their heads were seconds before.

“Son of a bitch…” Nik muttered, quickly dragging them both back to their feet. “Can’t catch a break for one day!”

“What the fuck was that?!” Leah ran with him through the woods, her hand attached to his.

“He’s back. Remember that shapeshifter I pissed off? He must’ve followed us.”

“That I did, Ryder,” a snide, mocking voice replied from behind a tree. A man dressed in all black stepped out of the shadows. “A little birdie over your shoulder as you paid attention to your little girlfriend here.”

“For fuck’s sake, Mark, it was nothing personal. Grave robbing is a sick, sick thing to do!” Nik got into a fighting stance with his crossbow on his shoulder and Leah directly behind him.

“You just can’t appreciate the intricacies of a human bone broth soup!”

Leah grimaced in disgust and poked her head out to the side of Nik’s body. “Ugh, that’s what you were using it for? That’s messed up.”

Mark’s eyes flashed with rage, putting his hands in his pockets. “Just shut up, and you’re dying with him!”

“To hell with you!” Nik shot several arrows at him, and Mark rolled out of the way and back into the shadows. “Leah, stay out of the way!”

“I’m not letting you do this alone!” Leah stubbornly replied, running after him hunting down the shapeshifter. She channeled all of her energy into her palms, but to no avail. “Seriously, let me help!”

“You can help by keeping yourself safe!”

“He’s right; this ain’t a place for ya, missy.” Mark threw another knife from the shadows, and Nik deftly avoided it and more arrows. But Mark turned into a crow and flew above their heads to avoid the attack.

He landed on a tree and turned into a jaguar, and promptly lunged at the both of them from above. Leah managed to get out of the way but Nik punted him in the abdomen with a powerful kick. Mark landed a few feet away, groaning in pain and back in his human form. But within seconds he pulled a pistol out and started shooting at them. Nik and Leah ran in a zig-zag formation with the murderous shapeshifter hot on their heels.

“Arghhh!” With Leah a few feet ahead, Nik suddenly went down, clutching the side of his right thigh. He pulled his hand away for a moment to assess the damage, and Leah could see a linear laceration on his skin from where the bullet grazed his leg.

Leah watched in horror as the shapeshifter suddenly appeared above Nik, a heavy boot on his hand nearest to his crossbow and the gun aimed at his head. Mark grinned maliciously. “Nighty night, Nighthunter.”

“NOOO!” Leah shouted, sprinting towards the barrel of the gun and blindly pushing her hands out in front of her. All of a sudden two identical blasts of light bounded from the palms of her hands, both hitting Mark square in the face. The skin and nerves on her hands were burning, but she didn’t notice or care, adrenaline pumping through her vasculature. She could feel a power, a deep and great power bursting forth from her core. With a shriek, she sent more blasts towards Mark, the power boundless and suddenly at her disposal to do what she wanted. And all she could focus on was destroying Mark.

“Leah! Leah!” A seemingly far away voice called her name, but it didn’t register until she felt two arms wrap around her from behind. “Come back to me! Rook!”

Leah stopped blasting at her target, and a white haze that she didn’t even realize was present suddenly dissipated from her vision. She finally realized where she was, and that she was responsible for the pile of ashes on the ground where the shapeshifter once stood. Leah fell to her knees and Nik went down with her, refusing to let go.

“I...I did that,” Leah whispered, looking down at her trembling hands. “My powers...they’re back!”

“You saved my life, rook.” Nik held her with one arm as he pressed down on the wound on his leg. “That was...that was the most power I’ve ever seen from someone.”

Maybe it was the fact that their faces were suddenly so close to each other, or maybe it was the fact that they avoided certain death again. Maybe it was the silence gathering around them, warm and electric. Maybe it was the tenderness in his expression as he held her. Leah brought one hand up to his cheek and pressed their lips together softly, and they both sighed in relief as they kissed. A warm, gentle rain misted around the pair. Leah pulled away, and both sported giddy, shy smiles.

“Not how I expected today to go...but this is perfect...well, perfect for us.” Leah hauled him up and to his feet and tied her light jacket around his thigh as a makeshift tourniquet. “Best way I could help was staying out of the way, huh?”

Nik shook his head in disbelief as they walked. “You are the most bullheaded and impossible woman I’ve ever met. I would be dead now if it weren’t for you.”

“Nik…” Leah began seriously. She knew what she finally had to do. “What happened today...I want to be with you. As your partner, both personally and professionally.”

His eyes met hers, and he searched for any signs of hesitation only to find none. His face was completely relaxed for the first time since she met him, and it sent her heart fluttering. “Are you sure about this?”

“You’re a mess...and I’m a mess.” She shook her head, chuckling incredulously. “But that just might be why we’re perfect for each other. I’m in love with you, and I think I’ve always known it. Being your partner is what I want, if you’ll have me.”

“Goddammit, Leah…” He laughed with her before he spoke again, his voice vulnerable and sincere. “I love you too. I want you with me every second, from the moment I wake up to when I rest my head. I want you with me in the trenches, and then I want you with nothin’ at all between us.”

Every word lifted a heavy weight off her heart, and Leah beamed as she took Nik’s hand. “That’s all I want, too...partner.”

The now-official couple reached Nik’s car, but instead of getting in, Nik opened his trunk. Leah quirked an eyebrow. “Getting something?”

“You could say that,” Nik replied, stepping out from behind the car with his hands behind his back. “I’ve had this in here since the day you got out of the hospital, and I couldn’t bear to even look at it. Now that you’re back, though…”

“Are you...nervous?” Leah couldn’t help the teasing, amused tone in her question as she noticed his blush. She had to admit it was odd yet slightly satisfying seeing him squirm. 

“...You left this.”

Nik held out her cherry red leather jacket, the same one he gave her on her first night in New Orleans. Leah ran her hands down the soft, worn leather, smiling softly. “You really kept this all this time?”

“Well...yeah.” Nik rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Maybe I hoped that you’d come back one day.”

“Well you were right, Mr. Nighthunter.” Leah put the jacket on, relishing in the familiarity of the cool leather and smell of the bayou. “How do I look?”

Nik smiled brightly. “Like it was made for you, Ms. Nighthunter.”

She sidled up to the driver’s side of the car mischievously. “Awesome, now get in.”

“Wait, what? Who said you were driving?”

“You got shot in the leg! I need to take you to the hospital!”

The pair continued to bicker the entire ride to the emergency room, and amidst the chaos Leah grinned; she wouldn’t have it any other way. Everything was different, but maybe it would be okay after all. 

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A/N: Andddd after almost 4 months (!!!)...I’m back on this series with a real chapter. Thank you so much to whoever has stuck with reading every chapter; this is my first time actually writing a multi-chapter fic. There’s one chapter left before I move on to my next Nightbound series, which is pretty much a sequel to this story and the canon story. I hope you enjoyed this, and I welcome any and all comments!

Tagging: @furiouscloddonutpeanut @nighthunterkatherine @saivilo @samara-rani @god-save-the-keen @xxdangerouscapri15xx @inlovewithrebels