#(of course i may be getting a different job hopefully soon so i need to look into that too ;;; )

[altruistic-meme]

simply cannot decide what to do with my time ksdhfdfhg

[plumipal]

Last Name Dilemma

Yknow, this is purely for myself, happy me hating my last name. This is a yandere thing btw and please note that I am an artist, not a writer :,) so sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes

I had this amazing idea. If you don't really like your last name and get sucked into the world of twisted wonderland, why not just get a new one? It's very easy when you have suitors vying for your attention at every corner of the school! 🤭

It all started in the cafeteria...

Of course they were overjoyed you thought their last names were cool, did this mean you indirectly wanted to marry them? Well the game is on, and they for sure will win.

Much to their displeasure though, rumors speads fast at NRC, with everyone else quickly getting to know about your lastname dilemma. They are not backing down, wanting to burn the world down just to achieve their happy ending with you.

Ace

Of course you would want to marry him! He is your first friend in this wretched school after all! (Deuce would like to differ on that statement but yeah)

Ace may not be the richest, smartest or most beautiful, but he is your best friend, (hopefully) your first choise and (will make sure to be) your first love! Guy is serious. He will also pull all sorts of dirty tricks against everyone else, you're his bestie to marry no one else's!

Deuce

Ah poor little Deuce. Guy choked on his food when he first heard you talk about how cool their last names sounded. You think his last name is cool? Does that mean that you like him too? You wanna date him, marry him? Be his forever?? He is feeding into his own delusions and your words are only making it worse.

As soon as he has finished lunch he will excuse himself and make a call to his mom and tell her the wonderful news on how you and him will definitely get married! (He just gotta get you a sweet, sweet ring that you deserve)

Cater

Cater being quick on the trends, he was even quicker on the rumors about you having no last name (and definelty needing one). He has such a cute last name, it would fit so well with you! <3

He is already dreaming up the perfect magicam wedding, to show off how the oh so wonderful you chose him, and no one else. He also dreams of the private moments after, how you'll hold him as he sobs his heart out, so happy you chose him. He hopes these silly daydreams will soon become reality, cos he can't wait much longer..

He also definelty overloads you with his clones, giving you so much love you don't need to turn to anyone else for that :)

Trey

When Trey heard the rumors he sighed, feeling bad for how overwhelmed you probably are with everyone else's proposals. Well, come to him whenever you feel like it's too much, he will always make sure to lktsen to your problems (he loves the domestic feel to just having late night chats with you in the heartlbuyl kitchen as he prepares another batch of sweets for the next unbirthday party).

He will make sure that his own proposal of marriage is short and sweet, and he is sure it will win you over, who wouldn't want his sweets all day every day? He will make sure to feed and love you for the rest of eternity if you chose him <3

Riddle

Riddle is messy, he wants you as his spouse and he kinda wants it NOW, since he feels like he deserves it. You're the perfect match to him, the king of hearts to his queen od hearts...

He will show off how good of a husband he would be to you, how he will take care of you with a stable job, how he will help you with all homework and make sure you get special treatment on unbirthday parties. If he sees anyone trying to propose why they should be yours and not him, well, you know his unique magic...

Jack

Wolves mate for life. Jack wants to mate for life. Who does he want as his mate? You. You have changed his life, and he does not want to lose you, please. He is territorial, liking how your name would sound with his last name, now he just gotta make it happen..

Ruggie

Ruggie feels desperate when he hears the rumors. Why would you chose him, when you have literal celebrities, prince's and high standing people vying for you? Then he remembers, he owes you. It's usually the other way around yes, bur he owes you somehow.

With this he cooks up the amazing plan of giving you his last name as a thanks for that one time. He also gotta introduce you to his family, he knows granny bucchi is gonna peer pressure you into accepting marriage with him...

Leona

Leona will not lose you. He has lost so much coming second to everyone he knows. He will NOT lose you to anyone here, he will fight dirty and kill for you if there's a chance he gets with you. He has the money to hire help to get rid of people too, and that same money can sway you into chosing him, since that deadbeat crow ain't giving you a liveable sum to live on.

He makes sure to capture you for naps whenever he can, making sure to leave his scent on you, enough so most people can smell how he has been on you.

Floyd

Eeh? Shrimps wants a good last name?? Well with his you could scare oh so many away, leading to an easy life for you! It also leads to a fun life with you and him, and there will never be a dull moment in his life with you by his side!

Just don't take his last name with his brother yeah? Get with him instead.

Jade

Oya? The prefect wants a last name? A husband too perhaps? Jade's smile widens as he plans out how to trap you into a wonderful marriage with him. Perhaps some of his new mushrooms in his terrariums will make you tired enough to get you to sign a marriage contract with him?

Just don't marry his brother instead of him, he don't really know how he would handle that..

Azul

Azul feels himself become of sp happy whenhe heard the rumors. Finally! You will have him corner you as soon as he can, sweet smile on his face as he offers you a golden contract of his. He crafted it meticulously, making sure everything in it would be perfect for the both of you.

He tries to butter you up so badly, please he just wants you to himself, is that too much to ask for?

Jamil

Jamil has to hold back to use snake whisper, but he has it in case you chose the wrong option (not him). He wants you, he does that to lose you to anyone, ESPECIALLY KALIM. He probably uses snake whisper against others, to sabotage, to do anything. He just can't lose you...

He definelty shows off his cooking and cleaning skills, showing how he can be the perfect househusband for you. Look how good you could have it with him...

Kalim

Kalim is manipulative about this. He mat not be aware of it, bur he sure is. He wants you as his (spouce) bestie, and he will get that. Guy has never gotten a no, and he will not get one now (he hope atleast).

Let him plan you a grandiose wedding! With food, clothes, venue, parades and so much more worth millions and millions of thaumarks. He will space no expense for you!

Epel

Why is epel so roughened up? Why he fought for your hand of course! Isn't it manly to show off that you can easily fend gör your love? He also loves loves LOVES the attention you give him as you fix him up.

He feels so proud of the fights he won, wearing the scars like proud medals, so please take care of them before they get infected- he will only let you do it-

Maybe he will get into more fights if he can get your heavenly touch as a reward..

Rook

Rook stalks you on the daily, so of course he got to work as soon as the words left your mouth. He will hunt you down, get your heart and love and live happily every after :)

He 100% gets violent as well, bur of course you won't see that side of him! He wouldn't want to scare you..

Vil

Vil is certain you will chose him. He is the fairest of them all (niege don't count he is ugly), that is what you deserve. He will take care of you, especially your appearance. You've sent how he is with epel, now get ready for double that...

He dolls you up, makes you the best version of yourself so he can show you off on his socials,to mush it into that dumb nieges face that THE vil had you and niege doesn't. He is the fairest of them all with you of course..

Of course, he is the only queen worthy enought for your love and affection, so please just marry him already, he wants a Photoshoot together with you...

Idia (plus Ortho being STRICTLY PLATONIC)

I'm sorry but have you read his ssr story? Guy doxxes over nothing lol. He will breach your security if you tell him no, he has lost so much already, can't he have you please? You're the only thing he wants...

He will 100% use Ortho against you, backing you into a corner together with the robot. Ortho wants to make his brother happy, and he would be the happiest together with you. Ortho would also be so so so happy if you were his bif sibling too!

Theyve lost so much, they just want a happy family, together with you.. (ORTHO ONLY WANTS YOU AS A SIBLING NO WEIRD SHI AGAINST ORTHO PLEASE)

Sebek

Sebek has to run to lilia for guidance. Why has this human out this wonderful spell on him, why does he feel so lightweight? Why is his face so red? Why does he want to reject you for the rest od your days, more than he wants to protect malleus?

He wants to marry you. To have a wonderful marriage between human hand half fae, almost liek his parents... he will protect you at all costs. Please do love his loudmouth ass back..

Silver

Silver has no last name as well, so in his mind you both are already matching. He is too sleepy to actually do anything other than fall asleep with you.

Lilia

Lilia would snicker at the rumors. Ah, how he feels young again, silly what love can do to someone... he would love to help his son's with this, but sadly he wants this just as much if not more...

Malleus

Malleus does not want to lose his friend. His first and only real friend. He has tried to court you for so long, and now that you've dropped a hint that you wanted him (by saying you wanted a cool last name) he starts the royal courting traditions.

He follows all the traditions, step by step, being very careful to be correct and sparing no expense. He makes sure you see the future home of yours (the castle), his humongous hoard and his greatest treasure, gao gao dragon..

.. holy hell this was so much longer than what I expected. Well, who would you go for? Do tell :,)

Also, would yall want more long form content like this or way more short form? My asks got deleted so don't really have any to draw smhhh </3 so do send shi in please <3

[wayfayrr]

Here's part three of Sage in the real world! He's starting to find his footing - although reader doesn't need to know that and reader's stressed even more now from being dumped back into things they'd forgotten, so they've got the perfect balance!

part 1, part 2

It’s easy just to lie here with sage. Not having him as stressed, but putty in my arms is a nice break from everything I’ve got to deal with. He’s surprisingly comfortable to have as a blanket; his hair is incredibly soft even with the amount of time he spends in the wild. That shower must’ve worked wonders for him, given he’s washed his hair with soap rather than just water, hopefully. Might as well make the most of this moment while he’s willing to be this vulnerable. Even if he does seem a bit smug that I’m holding him, for whatever reason. Nothing this peaceful can last forever, with the buzz of my phone breaking me out of it. Not a news pop-up or something that could be ignored as much as I’d prefer to block it out. A private message, about…

Oh no.

"Sage. If you’re feeling better I - we need might need to go shopping."

"Why? Why can’t we just stay like this [name]? "

"Well I uh, I might’ve forgotten that I had planned to have guests over tomorrow. So I need to get some things in to prepare."

He did not like that. At all. Easy to tell from how he growled, his arms tightening around me; pressing his head into the crook of my neck. Acting similar to when I was reunited with the chain. When he was jealous. What reason does he have to be jealous now? 

"Isn’t there a way you can cancel? I’m really not ready to meet anyone for at least a week."

"If I had more time, I would. But it’s too short notice. You can stay in a different room if you’d like, I won’t force you to be around them"

Hopefully, he doesn’t hold this against me. Was there a way I could’ve told him so he’d handle it better, with how he’s whining? Maybe not.

"No. I’m not leaving you alone. I know we’re in your world now but I wouldn’t put it past Ganondorf to be able to replicate your friends."

"They’ll only be here for the evening, Lavender. Besides I doubt it would be worth the effort to replace so many people with puppets, is there anything that I can do to make you more comfortable with the idea of it?"

"Just… I don’t want you out of my sight [name], I can’t trust whoever your guests are. I couldn’t live with myself if I let you get hurt."

Trust issues, right. Of course he doesn't want the first person who truly cares for him as a person to leave him alone, I knew this back in Hyrule. As far as requests he could've made though, it’s pretty reasonable and easy to do for that matter. Now I’ll just have to hope that they won’t ask too many questions about him or ask the right questions to set him off. With a nod and a gentle nudge to move him off of me, it’s time to see how he’ll react somewhere other than my house.

"We won’t have to be out long today, an hour or two at max, okay Sage? And shopping for it would be a good chance to buy you some things you'll need"

"Things I’ll need? I have you to myself. What else would I need. What kind of things are you talking about?"

How much money do I have right now? If I remember right I would’ve been paid yesterday however paying for sage now as well as myself? There should be enough; might be time to look for a better-paid job soon, since I’ll be paying for the both of us from now on. Sage is going to hate that though; maybe I should hold off on telling him for a while. It’s not like I haven't got enough time set aside to have a few days off. Explaining more about what life will look like here, while tugging on sage to get up may not be the smartest thing I’ve ever done but it’s something that works. He’s moving with me now towards the door, just need some shoes then we can leave.

"Basics really, some more clothes, soaps and things, maybe a phone?? If it doesn’t cost too much."

"You, you think I’m really worth doing that for? No one’s ever thought I was worth doing so much for. I’m so glad you're mine."

Did he just say what I think he did? Do I? Should I say something back? Has he noticed I froze up because of that?

"What? What do you mean by that Sage?"

"... you’re mine? You gave me your clothes, you’re letting me live with you, and you've given me a nickname. Am I not already your lover?"

He - He sees me as his partner already? It’s not like I don’t care for him but he already thinks we’re together, really? I guess in the games Mipha proposes with the zora armour, but that’s not a Hylian custom is it? And they weren’t made for him, just my old clothes. Is he going to be more convinced I’m his partner if I help him adjust? Would I mind that?

Silence probably isn’t what Sage needed, but getting out and heading towards the shop does help to order my own thoughts about this all. After a few more moments like that, paired with a heavy sigh I finally gathered the confidence to answer him over silently dragging him to our destination.

"I never - Well I never thought you were in love with me, you’ve never mentioned you felt like that. But I wouldn’t be against a relationship like that with you."

"Good. So that makes me your husband then."

WHAT?? What the??? How long has he been assuming we’re together to think of himself like THAT?

Is he even being serious right now? He can’t be serious, can he? I’m not sure whether to take it at face value or not, I mean who just says that at a time like this? And as determined as he did?

"So are you… just declaring that we’re a couple now, I’m fairly sure that’s not how it usually works??"

"Yes, I am. What does it matter that it’s not ‘usual’?"

Bluescreening doesn’t come close to how I feel right now. He’s actually convinced himself that we were in a romantic relationship for who knows how long and he’s only just mentioned it!?

"You - what if I’d started seeing someone else, you’d never told me you wanted to be together? What would you have done??" 

"I would have dealt with them."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Deal with them how? Do I even want to know?

I don’t think I do. Not with the look Sage has on his face. Murderous doesn’t even describe it. If looks could kill, then whoever my hypothetical partner was would be dead and buried several times over by now. Wrapping his arm around my waist as we carried on walking seemed to draw him out of it though. He’s never been as terrifying before in all the time I’ve known him. Even when I was talking about the chain earlier he didn’t look as dangerous, as unhinged, as he did just then.

Can he tell I’m uncomfortable with how he’s acting? Is that why he’s holding me like this? Is it because of the stress that he’s acting like this, or have I been overlooking the real reason?

I have to give him the benefit of the doubt, he doesn’t deserve my trust in him to be broken if he’s just acting out from stress. Either way, we’re nearly at the shops. Thankfully Sage seems to be calming down somewhat, even if he is pressing himself into my side desperate for my touch.

Just a quick trip [name]. You can do this.

[jaehyunsprincesspeach]

Hii can i please request a fic Where Taeyong is sick (like maybe he has food poisoning or something) and y/n drops everything to take care of him because he calls saying he needs her 🥹

please excuse me while I go cry in the corner

this is so cute omg my heart is gonna burst!

hope y'all enjoy, and thank you for the request <3

All the love ~ lunar

I Need You

Pairing: Taeyong x fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of stress/anxiety , mentions of hospitals , mentions of illness (food poisoning , exhaustion), fluffy fluff

“Good morning baby, have a good day!”

You text your boyfriend Taeyong as you wake up in the morning, surprised that you are awake before he is. Usually you are waking up to a message from him, but with how busy he has been since releasing his solo album, as well as NCT Nation with their comeback, you are happy that he is able to get a little more rest today.

As you get up and get ready for your day, you are waiting for Taeyong to return your message, as he always answers as quickly as he can, when he has the opportunity to. Thinking he is still asleep, you push away the thoughts that are beginning to cloud your head, as the worry starts to set in, you remind yourself that he is probably sleeping… hopefully.

Driving to work, you have your music blasting, singing along to every song that comes on. Thankfully you left earlier than you normally do, as there is bumper to bumper traffic. Enjoying your music, suddenly you receive a call from Taeyong that caught you by surprise. Suspicion settles in your mind, as you answer the call. It’s rare for him to call so early in the morning, usually he saves that for late night FaceTime calls when he is at the studio, and needs you to keep him company while he produces new music.

“Hey baby, how did you sleep?”

“I need you.” Three simple words that hold so much meaning.

“What’s going on Tae, are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I don’t feel good. Something feels wrong. I just need you.”

“I’m on my way, love. Just stay in bed okay? I’ll be there soon.”

“Thank you, y/n, I love you.”

“I love you too, see you soon.”

As soon as you hung up the phone, you are getting off of the road at the nearest exit, nerves spiked, and worry taking over your mind. You called your boss to say that you would be missing work due to an emergency, and drive to Taeyong’s house as fast as you can.

Taeyong is the strongest person you have ever met. You’ve never known how he does it, but he always manages to get himself up early, and stay up late, working on what he loves. He never seems to get burnt out, and never seems to be tired from the strenuous schedules that he has set for him. Yes, he loves what he does, and he loves the busy lifestyle that he has, but surely you thought at some point he would need a break. Not once has he shown anyone other than you his exhaustion and stress. He tells you everything. All of his stress and worries and anything that could possibly be on his mind. But never before has he called sounding as worried as he did then. Never once has he shown an ounce of weakness when it comes to not only his job but his physical health as well. Of course, throughout the time of your relationship, he has been sick, usually with a common cold, but your gut is telling you this is something different. Something he’s never experienced before, and that’s what scares you.

Upon arriving to his house, you leave all of your belongings in your car, and rush into the house. You find him in his bed, clutching his stomach. Immediately, you run out to the kitchen and run some hot water on a towel, and take it to him, laying him on his back so that you can place the towel on his stomach.

“y/n?”

“Hi my love, I’m here, whats going on?”

“I don’t know, everything just hurts.”

“I think we should go get you checked out.”

Giving you a hum of approval, you gather some things that he may need and take them to your car, before getting him out of bed, and getting him to the car, making sure to bring an extra empty plastic bag, just in case. Driving, he is silent, and so are you, as the anxiety courses through your veins. As soon as you arrive at the hospital, you run inside to get someone to help you, doing your absolute best not to draw any attention to you or the idol.

~~~

After he gets checked out by the doctors, you are brought in from the waiting room, unable to hide the worry on your features. The doctor explains that it is a combination of food poisoning, that is enhanced from exhaustion, and that they will be keeping Taeyong in the hospital overnight, till the effects die down and he is more comfortable. He’s asleep from the medication that the doctors gave him. Even in his sickly state, he looks so peaceful sleeping.

You pull up a chair next to the bed, and grab his hand, simply sitting in silence as the doctor leaves, and Taeyong gets the well deserved rest he needs. Studying his features, it’s still a shock to you how lucky you are to be with a man like him. After a while of sitting in the room, simply holding his hand, Taeyong wakes up.

“Y/n, you’re here.” He says with a sleepy smile

“Of course I am Tae, I’ll always be here.” You reply, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

For the next few hours, the two of you talk like normal, and you know that Taeyong is doing his best to seem like he is okay, but you hate that he is pretending in front of you. You know that he is only doing it so that you wont worry as much, but it makes you worry more not knowing how he is really feeling.

“Tae, why are you masking?”

“Masking? What do you mean love?”

“I know you’re trying to make it seem like you feel better. Please, please don’t hide how you’re feeling around me.”

“Im sorry baby, I just don’t want you to worry too much. I know you have your own stuff going on, and I know you called out of work to be here.”

“I called out of work to take care of the man I love, thats all that I care about right now. Everything I have going on is not nearly as important to me as you are. Please don’t hide anything from me, I want to help, love.”

“What would I do with out you? You’re so good to me”, he says placing a hand on your cheek, “I love you y/n.”

“I love you too Tae.”

“What time are you going home?”

“Im not.”

“What do you mean? You need to sleep!”

“What I need is to know that you are okay. I can’t do that when I’m not here with you. Sorry baby, you’re stuck with me.” You say earning a hum of approval from him, followed by a kiss on the back of your hand. “Get some sleep my love, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“You know, I really do need you. Whenever you’re not around, nothing makes sense, nothing feels right. Even being here, I know that everything will be okay, since you’re here with me.”

“I wouldn’t leave you for the world.” With that you place a soft kiss on his lips, and he begins to drift off to sleep, refusing to let go of your hand.

As he sleeps that night, you stay awake for majority of the time, simply thinking about all of the wonderful memories you have with him, as well as his words to you. I need you. Three simple words that hold so much meaning. As you drift off to sleep these words ring through your mind, and your heart swells with love.

“I need you too Taeyong.”

[justanothergeek77]

So I have thoughts on how the gods are portrayed in the PJO show so far.

I saw a post arguing that the show should've put more effort into displaying the gods' power, the way they did in the book, but I actually disagree. I really like the way that the show portrays the gods as so obviously human: as real, flawed beings, who don't feel above the world at all. Sure, they are still gods, and we know that and know to respect them, but the thing is that the reality of who the gods are is very different from how everyone thinks of them, and that disconnect ties directly into the main themes of the show.

Every time Percy hears something about the gods from an outside source, being another Demigod, Chiron, Grover, etc., the gods are placed on a pedestal. You have to burn offerings to get their attention, you have to fight for glory to earn their respect; the gods are viewed as fundamentally separate from humans and demigods, and that separation makes it seem like their behavior is okay, because they're gods. All the ways that they hurt their kids are excused by that one little fact: of course not every kid gets claimed, their parents are busy with Godly Things. Of course you have to burn offerings and fight for glory. Of course your parent won't talk to you unless you earn it, they're a God.

Then we actually meet some gods, and realize they aren't all that different from humans after all.

Mr. D is just some guy who's perpetually hungover and likes to gamble. Sure, he's a god, but he's also an asshole who refuses to remember Percy's name and pretends to be his dad just to convince Percy to get him a drink. He's a dick, as the name implies, and no less of one for the fact that he's a god. and he's protected from scrutiny by that fact; Chiron mitigates the damage Mr. D does by misleading Percy, but doesn't dare to reprimand him for it, despite clearly having more practical power over the camp than he does. Percy, on the other hand, is impertinent: he sees Mr. D for who he is, beyond godhood.

Hermes, for all that we barely see any of him, is just doing the job of a postal worker, and dealing with the mundane things that come his way because of it. He can take a joke, even if his family clearly can't; hopefully we'll see more of him soon. Like Mr. D, he hardly feels like a god at all.

Then there's Ares. He's exactly what he appears to be, for once: an asshole biker dude who starts fights on twitter for fun and makes children do his dirty work. He tries to manipulate them, but isn't very good at it, given that Grover outsmarts him. He may be the god of war, but Annabeth still mouths off to him, entirely unafraid after everything else they've faced; she's rapidly losing the respect for the gods that she once had.

Hephaestus, we don't see much of, but he seems rather ordinary too. Unlike the other gods, he's capable of reason, listening to Annabeth's pleas and agreeing with her point that it isn't supposed to be this way.

And that's the crux of the matter, really. if the gods were really Gods, if they were powerful and elevated and separate from humanity, there would be no changing them. But if they aren't these perfect beings that people have built up in their heads, then there is no excuse for the way they've acted. If they're just people, albeit powerful people, then they need to take responsibility for their actions: for their kids, for the harm they do on Earth, for this system of glory and injustice that they've perpetuated for millennia.

The PJO show isn't straying from the book, or changing the gods' portrayals just for the sake of it. It's leaning into themes that don't appear solidly until later in the series right from the start, and allowing them more time to be deeply established for a better payoff later.

I also wanted to mention two more things, but they didn't really fit anywhere earlier: Poseidon and Athena. Both of them haven't appeared onscreen yet, only influencing the plot through remote actions. Athena's actions have reinforced the distant, elevated version of her that we think of first, as she turns on her own daughter the moment she's slightly embarrassed. We haven't met Athena yet, and so her character is able to maintain that air of distance and mystery, that idea of power that could come crumbling down the moment you look too close. It's also worth noting that Athena's actions here are more of a lack of action: by allowing Echidna and the Chimera to enter her temple, a passive non-action, rather than stopping them to protect Annabeth.

Poseidon, on the other hand, does everything in his power to help Percy short of showing up in person. We may not have met him yet, but his actions speak volumes towards his character: saving Percy from falling to his death, curing the poison, and sending a messenger to reassure him all point to someone who desperately wants to be there for his son, regardless if Percy wants him or not; that's without even considering his actual words, through the messenger, which confirm this notion. It's clear after this encounter that Poseidon does have power, and one cannot forget that he is a god, but he has also dropped all pretense of pretending to be above anyone else. He's a father who loves his son, and he doesn't care about pretending otherwise anymore.

[darlingvernon]

you’ve got mail! | 02.

Author: darlingvernon (prev nonrevblr)

Pairing: Chwe Hansol x Fem Reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, college au, penpal au

Rating: 18+

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 3,603

Description: The concept of Equivalent Exchange is not foreign to you, and since you need Jeonghan to participate in a Social Experiment for your Psych Thesis, you inevitably have to participate in his too. It isn’t the walk in the park you thought it would be, especially when your penpal Vernon keeps knocking down the walls that you’ve built; scratching an itch you couldn’t reach.

Author’s Note: I hope you guys enjoy! Please send me an ask if you'd like to be added to the tag list :)

“Goddamnit,” you curse, pacing the room with your phone glued to your ear while waiting on hold for the hostess to get back to you.

Grabbing the empty glass from the desk, you head over to the kitchen sink and refill it. The cool water coursing through your veins does very little to soothe you and as you resist the urge to find out how much time has passed, the pit in your stomach deepens. Frustrated, you rub your hand over your face and resume your pacing.

The invitation that your office chair offers is far too tempting, so you deposit yourself in it, drumming your fingers against the oak to the tune of the dreadful hold music playing through your phone. Almost all companies use the same standard tune and it boggles your mind, because the melody doesn’t convince you to want to stay on the line. 

Rather, it has the opposite effect, making you want to bash your head against the wall before jumping out the window. 

Okay, that’s a little dramatic, you think to yourself as you grab your pen and proceed to draw circles on the notepad that it was on. Even though you only feel this way because of the stress of current events, you promise your future self to choose a different type of tune to play as your on hold music, when you finally become the career woman you have been working hard to be.

But, you barely have time to think about that when you’re still trying to solve the issue at hand, one that may prove to derail your entire social experiment. 

As you long to hear the voice of the hostess who hopefully has some good news to deliver, you sit back and wonder how this could have happened. A meticulous planner like yourself couldn’t have made such a simple error. You made sure to check the dates twice, thrice even, before making the bookings because Crema is on the fancier side, especially with their price point still on the affordable end. They were bound to be busy, so you made sure to plan every single detail to a tee. 

“Y/N, are you still there?” Lisa, the hostess, breaks through your thoughts.

“How did you go?” you ask, making sure to cross your fingers in the process. “Is everything all good?”

“First, I’d like to apologise about what’s happened.” Lisa offers and the anxiety grows in your stomach. “The person you spoke with when you made the bookings was only a trainee, and that happened to be his first day on the job. He should never have confirmed those dates without checking with a more senior hostess or the manager.”

The grip you have on your phone tightens as you wait for her to drop the bomb that will blow up your entire project.

“Luckily, he at least entered them correctly on our Reservations system,” Lisa reveals and you almost want to reach through the phone and hug her. “So, the five dates you’ve booked for are secured and we’ll be seeing Jaebeom and Patricia tonight.”

Shooting up from your chair, you pull the phone away from your ear and dance in celebration. “Thank you so, so much,” you reply cheerily and the hostess giggles, clearly having heard your little jig but you can’t even find it in yourself to care at the moment. “I truly appreciate your hard work and I’m glad they’ll be in good hands.“

Goodbyes are exchanged and your eyes close in relief as soon as the line goes dead. Allowing your feet to carry you towards the bed, you unceremoniously dump your whole weight on it, bouncing twice on the mattress beneath you. The tension slowly releases from your body, the further your body sags into the bedding.

Before you can relax further, a familiar ring tone filters through the air, interrupting your peace. Not bothering to look at your phone, you swipe to answer.

“Hannie, if you’ve got a problem, I’m hanging up,” you desperately warn him.

“What the hell is up your butt?” Jeonghan asks incredulously.

You sigh, “I’ll tell you next time, let’s deal with this first. Do you bring good news or bad news?”

“It’s neither,” he answers and you’re thankful that he doesn’t prod further. “I’m just about to head out to meet Stephanie at Wonderland, but I’m no psychic. How am I supposed to know where to meet her and what she looks like?”

“Ah yes, I’m sorry, I was meant to send you a text but then my whole thesis was on the brink of collapsing.” You remember now. “Yes, please meet her at the ticket booth. She’ll be wearing a white shirt filled with sunflowers. What about you? Are you gonna be sticking out like a sore thumb or what?”

“God, you’re s—”

“Dramatic? Yes, I know.”

“Actually, I was going to say ‘a pain in my ass’,” he corrects and you roll your eyes, even though you know he can’t see you. “I’ve got a Spider Man shirt on, if that helps?”

“Nice! Yeah, I’ll let her know. Try to have fun out there and don’t forget to let me know all about it.”

“Yeah, we will.” He laughs. “Wait, before you go, you need to hold up your part of the deal too.”

Sitting up at the mention of your pen pal, you’re apologetic to Jeonghan. “Shit, I can’t believe I forgot. I’ll get on to it tonight as well. I promise!”

“Sounds good. Good luck to both of us, I guess.”

“Yeah, we’ll need it. Bye!”

Once you hang up, you bury your face on your pillows and allow yourself a few minutes more to relax. Slowly sliding out of bed, you trudge over to your desk where your laptop is, stretching your neck along the way to release the last bits of stress from your last predicament. 

With newfound determination, you turn on your laptop and log in to the dummy email that Jeonghan had given you, preparing yourself to get in contact with your pen pal.

As you wait for the page to load, grumbling about how your college should really have much better Wi-Fi, it dawns on you that Jeonghan hasn’t given you the topic you’re supposed to discuss, nor has he provided your pen pal’s details. Just as you’re about to reach for your phone to call and ask him about it, your laptop notification sounds off and grabs your attention.

‘You’ve Got Mail!’ it reads.

Suddenly, you remember the conversation that you had with Jeonghan back in the library all those weeks ago. He mentioned that your pen pal would be the one to reach out first and sure enough, the email is there as soon as you close off the dialogue box. Quickly skimming through, you realise that this was sent to you a few days ago and it’s probably why Jeonghan asked you to start tonight. 

Sighing, you make a mental note to apologise to your pen pal about the tardiness of your reply.

[To: gm@attaca-uni.edu] [From: bb@attaca-uni.edu] [Subject: ice cream]

hi there,

uhh, this is bands boy (*cringe i’m so sorry, jeonghan made this username for me T-T) and i’m your new pen pal

i’m not really supposed to give out my real name or anything that may reveal who i really am, though jeonghan did say that you knew that i was one of his frat brothers? 

i’m also a music major and i love anything to do with cats

how do you know him and how did you get roped into this?

jeonghan also mentioned that he’s already told you how this is all going to work with the topics, so let’s get down to business i guess. the question of the week (sorry for the spoiler in the title lol) is:

“what is your favourite ice cream?”

yeah, i know. random as fuck. i’m guessing he wants us to start off easy then he’s probably going to make us suffer later am i right? haha 

anyway, i’m super boring and i generally like all flavours — i mean ice cream is ice cream, it’s always gonna be delicious — but if i had to choose, i’m going with chocolate. yeah… boring haha. 

well, i guess it’s your turn now. i look forward to hearing from you.

bands boy, signing out

He’s funny, you think to yourself, cheeks hurting from all the smiling you’ve been doing as you read his email. All the thoughts you had about how boring this pen pal business was gonna be, can now be thrown out the window and set on fire, never to be seen again. 

Preparing yourself to write back, you reach over for your pen and notepad, making sure you jot down the important things that you need to reply to as you read his email a second time. A third for good measure. The fourth read through almost makes you want to admit something else until you remember that he’s been waiting three whole days for you to reply.

Taking a deep breath, you stretch your limbs and touch your fingertips to the keyboard.

[To: bb@attaca-uni.edu] [From: gm@attaca-uni.edu] [Subject: Re: Ice Cream 6:40PM]

well, hello there, bands boy.

i am so, so sorry that my reply has been delayed! i swear i didn’t mean to ghost you. it’s just that my psych thesis (spoiler alert: that’s how i know jeonghan) was kicking my ass this week so it completely slipped my mind to check my email. please forgive me T-T

also, if it’s any consolation, jeonghan also gave me a username that’s equally as cringe. you can call me girl magnetic *shudders* i’ll tell you all about it if you tell me what the go is with bands boy? no pressure though!

a music major, huh? that’s so neat! as i said before, i’m a psych major so jeonghan roped me into this because he’s helping me with my thesis too. 

also, i don’t view cats the same i’m sorry T-T i sure love dogs though!

so, he wants to know about our fave ice cream flavour? that is random haha. you’re probably right though and we have to suffer later… but it’s okay. i’ll just kick his ass :)

hmm… i’d have to say that i am just as boring as you because ice cream is ice cream — you’re so right — but coffee flavour is the one that gets me going. actually, coffee in general gets me going dfsdkdsfjdkj

anyway, that’s it from me. for now i guess? lol? i look forward to hearing from you… too?

kind regards, girl magnetic

Whoosh! There goes your email.

Feeling accomplished, you give yourself a congratulatory pat on the back and relax in your seat. At least, until something in your email catches your eye. “Kind Regards?” you read the offending words out loud. “Kind Regards?! Did I really just say that? God, can I be any more embarrassing?”

Sighing, you reach for your phone and quickly browse through every social media platform you use, to distract yourself from your blunder.

Several miles away, Vernon is intently staring at his laptop screen, trying to think of a way to word a particular sentence for the essay he’s working on. He’s been stuck at this point much longer than he’d like and before he can think of having a break, a dialogue box pops up, informing him of his pen pal’s response.

A welcome distraction, he smiles as his eyes glide through the words from your email. As he reads on, thoughts about who you could be and what you could look like run rampant in his mind. He decides that a second read through is required so that he can analyse your message further.

From the teasing way you started the email, to the sweet apology of your tardiness and especially the way you talk about Jeonghan, makes him more interested in getting to know you than he initially planned. He laughs as soon as your username Girl Magnetic sinks in, not because he thinks it’s funny, but because you do seem to have that aura about you, based on these few paragraphs alone.

Not wanting to waste the opportunity he’s been given, he throws all caution to the wind, typing away his response and hitting send before he can regret it.

Ping! You’ve Got Mail!

Confused, you lean back to check the time on the microwave that’s tucked away in the corner of your kitchen, squinting as you do so. Six Forty-Five. It’s only been five minutes since you sent your reply and you can’t believe he’s already responded. His swiftness takes you by surprise considering you’re still reeling from the awkward ending of your previous email. With a sigh, you bite the bullet and open his message.

[To: Girl Magnetic] [From: Bands Boy] [Subject: Re: Ice Cream 6:45PM]

hey there, girl magnetic

don’t even sweat it. jeonghan warned me that you’d be too busy to reply straight away. but, he did ask me today if you’ve already sent a reply. so if he was on your ass, sorry about that.

he mentioned that you would be contacting me tonight so that’s why i saw your message and now i’ve replied really quickly but i hope that it doesn’t make me seem eager… i’m babbling aren’t i? haha

so you want to know about bands boy? ah, it’s very embarrassing but since you’ve sweetened the deal, i’ll tell you about it. 

bands boy is the name of a song i wrote for a music project lol. if you’re keen, i’ll let you hear it once this penpal business is over and done with? over coffee? since you love it so much? haha

so, girl magnetic, what’s your story?

bands boy, signing out

ps. i’m gonna forgive you about the cats because i love dogs too!

You have to hand it to Jeonghan, he definitely chose the right person for you to exchange letters with. Not even the prospect of his smug smirk that will result from your admission, can wipe the smile off your face. Not wanting to leave him hanging, you quickly type out your reply.

[To: Bands Boy] [From: Girl Magnetic] [Subject: Re: Ice Cream 7:00PM]

oh, i am most definitely keen to hear bands boy. especially over coffee. i’m gonna hold you to it after this experiment so you better not forget!

the story behind girl magnetic is really not as interesting as yours. it just happens to be a song that a guy wrote to confess to me that’s all. the embarrassment T-T especially because i wouldn’t return his feelings and he was just… *shudder* lol

anyway, it’s a story for another time. i hope you weren’t doing something important when i sent my email?

x girl magnetic

ps. your babbling is cute

Biting your lip, you wonder if he’ll reply straight away like he previously did. Not wanting to miss it if he does, you carry your laptop with you to the kitchen, placing it on the benchtop as you scour your fridge for last night’s leftovers.

When Vernon reads your next message, his knee almost slams itself into the top of the table from its incessant bouncing. Ever since he replied to you, he’s been worried about how his curiosity came across and he’s glad that you didn’t misunderstand him. The premise of meeting you after the experiment has him reeling, especially with your added postscript, but he puts this aside and focuses on the information that you’ve given him.

“What are you smiling about?” Soonyoung, who also happens to be studying across from him in their frat living room, asks curiously. 

“Nothing, I’m just working on my essay,” Vernon replies, trying to act as cool as possible to avoid any further questions. The last thing he wants is to be the subject of the self-proclaimed fraternity gossip guru’s attention.

“Definitely not,” Mingyu counters with furrowed brows. “You were moaning and groaning about it just five minutes ago—”

“I was stuck,” Vernon attempts to shrug it off, especially when he notices Soonyoung’s eyes sparkle with keen interest. 

“And now?” Soonyoung prods, leaning forward to try and peek at his laptop.

Shutting it before his friend gets too close, Vernon neatly stacks his books on top and shoves his things under one arm as he gets up. “Now, I’m not stuck,” he pokes his tongue in cheek. “So, if you both excuse me, I’ll go ahead and work on this in my room, away from distractions.”

Soonyoung laughs, “We weren’t even the ones who distracted you.”

Vernon answers with a wave before bounding up the stairs and locking himself in his room.

[To: Girl Magnetic] [From: Bands Boy] [Subject: Re: Ice Cream 7:15PM]

what do you mean ‘not interesting’? i’m plenty interested in that story so i’m definitely holding you to it. don’t make me ask jeonghan about it >:)

hm i was doing an essay for my music theory class but i was stuck so now i’m talking to you :)

x bands boy

His message arrives just as you’re about to shove a dumpling or two in your mouth. Your eyebrows shoot up as you read it and put down your chopsticks in favour of sending your reply.

[To: Bands Boy] [From: Girl Magnetic] [Subject: Re: Ice Cream 7:18PM]

nooooooooo i didn’t mean to disturb my dear pen pal T-T

x girl magnetic

ps. if you ask jeonghan about it he’ll kill us both. unless you have a death wish? :)

Vernon doesn’t bother schooling the smile on his face as he reads, especially since he’s in the comfort of his own room now and behind closed doors.

[To: Girl Magnetic] [From: Bands Boy] [Subject: Re: Ice Cream 7:20PM]

no you’re good, i was gonna take a break anyway. so the distraction was welcome i promise :)

though it’s due tomorrow so i should probably get back to it…

but… i want to keep talking to you…

x bands boy

As tempting as it is to keep chatting with him, for a reason you can’t fathom at present, you refuse to be the reason why your pen pal fails a class.

[To: Bands Boy] [From: Girl Magnetic] [Subject: Re: Ice Cream 7:25PM]

i honestly want to keep talking to you too but i don’t want you to fail.

so i’ll make you a deal: we finish off our chat now so you can get your essay sorted and once you let me know that you’re done… i tell you the whole story behind girl magnetic.

how does that sound?

x girl magnetic

ps. i’m not taking no for an answer. good luck with the essay!

Not that Vernon needs it, but he feels plenty motivated now by the prospect of knowing more about you and an unspoken round two, one that isn’t driven by Jeonghan’s experiment.

[To: Girl Magnetic] [From: Bands Boy] [Subject: Re: Ice Cream 7:30PM]

well, that’s certainly an offer i can’t refuse. you’re on!

i’ll let you know when i’m done. don’t wait up though, i’ll be awhile (not that you would wait up lol)

x bands boy, signing out

Smiling, you close off his email and adjust your notification settings before shutting your laptop down, not wanting to miss his next message and keep him waiting again. At least that’s what you tell yourself because you’re unwilling to admit that you’re looking forward to hearing from him. It’s much too early for that.

The next few hours pass by uneventfully, with you watching a movie, cleaning up your dorm room and with you not waiting for a reply from your pen pal. Definitely not. Stifling a yawn, you grab your phone on your way to the bathroom and pull up your message thread with Jeonghan as you get ready for bed.

[10:00pm] thing 2: okay, i’ve responded to bands boy [10:01pm] thing 1: you’re welcome

This smug bastard. With eyes narrowed, you choose not to clue him in on any details about tonight’s endeavours.

[10:02pm] thing 2: i don’t know what you’re talking about :) [10:03pm] thing 1: yeah, sure jan [10:03pm] thing 2: hannie >:| [10:04pm] thing 2: anyway, are you back at the house yet? [10:04pm] thing 1: …i’m just dropping stephanie home now [10:05pm] thing 2: oh? [10:05pm] thing 1: don’t even say it

Smirking, you leave him hanging for a few minutes, fooling him into thinking he’s won.

[10:08pm] thing 2: you’re welcome :) [10:08pm] thing 1: god you’re such a pain in my ass [10:09pm] thing 2: sweet dreams hannieeee [10:09pm] thing 1: fuck off

Grinning in victory, you pat the rest of your moisturiser into your skin and tuck yourself into bed, glad to have the day end on a better note than when it started.

At exactly five minutes past midnight, Vernon submits his essay after proofreading it for the third and final time. He would’ve been done a whole lot earlier if Jeonghan didn’t come barging into his room, asking him question after question about you and he barely managed to appease him without divulging too much about his conversation with you.

Now, the only thing he needs to do before merging into one being with his bed, is to send you an email as promised. 

[To: Girl Magnetic] [From: Bands Boy] [Subject: Your Turn 12:10AM]

i finished my essay woo!

your move, girl magnetic

x sweet dreams

[ Series Master List ] - link to be added later

TAGLIST: @teapartydreams @aperson394

© darlingvernon

pls do not copy/repost my work

[beneathashadytree]

Hi Maya I hope your doing well ☺️ Please may I request a oneshot of a voicemail Jotaro would send his s/o while in Morioh ( overall fluff). Thank you & I love your writing 😌🤍

TO FLORIDA, WITH LOVE - JOTARO KUJO X READER

Warnings : This is set right before facing off Kira, similar to canon Jotaro hasn’t told his spouse about the dangerous stuff going on in Morioh, Jolyne is around 7 here, this is not proofread, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : pure domestic fluff <3

Word count : 0.4K words

Additional notes : Thank you so much for requesting! You’re very sweet 💗 I’m doing well now (though pretty sunburnt🫠), and I feel pretty happy to get back to writing. This is now officially one of my favorite requests. I’m a sucker for soft tsun Jotaro honestly. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did! 🥰

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp.

Masterlist

“Hey. Uh, it’s probably late on your end, so I’m leaving this here.

I woke up early today, got some work in. My thesis is nearly complete now, but I think I need a couple of more days. The genus of the starfish here in Morioh is surprisingly more diverse than back home, so there were more species to research here than were in Florida. Give me four days. I have… things to clear up around here, too.

Old man’s getting along decently well with Josuke. Still rubs me the wrong way, but the entire situation’s pretty fucked up. [derisive chuckle] He’s a good kid, though, so hopefully Joseph won’t mess things up with him. He deserves better than that.

One of his friends’ a famous mangaka. Think Jolyne’s gonna like his work? She’s taken an interest in horror recently, hasn’t she? Try subtly bringing it up with her. Let me know if she’d like a signed volume from him.

Is she doing okay at school? Heard she had a science test this week. How’d she do? If she’s struggling, tell her Dad can help her out. She’s just as stubborn as you are, and probably won’t admit that she’s having trouble. If she gives you an attitude, let me know. Can’t have the bratty genes inherited this soon.

[throat clearing] [brief silence]

And… how are you? You probably found some of your favorite foods in the fridge after I left. Made those. Were they any good? Was my first time so… might’ve failed here and there. [lighthearted] Feedback’s appreciated, but keep the complaints to a minimum.

How’s work been? If your boss is being too much of a bitch, we can always find you another job. You’re already overqualified. Anyone would be lucky to have you.

[more awkward silence] [rustling sounds]

It feels weird. Haven’t slept alone since… since 1990, I think it was. [breathes out laugh] Think you’ve been stuck with me since then. There’s that one time when we fought a couple of years ago, and you told me to sleep on the couch. Didn’t tell you back then, but Jolyne snuck out of bed that night to keep me company.

What I’m trying to say is… ‘m missing you. ‘Course, I miss Jolyne too, but this is different. Good grief. [sigh] What have you done to me? I can’t stop thinking of you, even after all this time.

[throat clearing]

Anyways, I’ve got shit to do now. It’s almost noon here. [pause] If I… when I get back, let’s go out on a date on Friday night. Just the two of us. Alright?

[mumbling]

Take care. Love you.”

Taglist: @mrsgiovanna @blondeboyfriend @boorishbrambling

[jokeringcutio]

It's fun to see you deep in the Afton hole hehe

Buuuuut... I was just curious if you have any plans for your joker or Arthur harrow fics that are on hold

I didn't wanna seem rude begging for updates when you're in a fnaf fixation tho

Yes, Anon. I have (:

Sometimes I post updates about my writing process or personal life with info about these tales in it :) TLDR: In short: Joker's TMWCTBY will be completed - although I am considering only publishing the full tale in e-book form rather than posting the new chapters on AO3. Joker's Princess and the Clown is nominated to be continued. Joker's new tale is planned for when Joker 2 has aired. Harrow's Harrowing Love will be continued in the new year. A new story featuring Arthur Harrow and Albert Shaw will appear in the upcoming days. For more Details: Joker's 'The Man Who Claimed To Be Yours' was scheduled to be finished by the end of this year, or the start of next. Now unfortunately due to health issues that have me in and out of hospital and bedbound and asleep most of the time, that schedule probably won't be met. But I am still writing the tale and it's nearly done. Perhaps I will release the final chapters in an ebook adaptation of it only - as a slightly rewritten story - because I wanted to turn the story into an ebook for years now and have the cutest cover for it :3 (Yep, man in asylum clothes but I find it cute).

Arthur Harrow's 'Harrowing Love' has been on hold writing-wise for a while now. I really need to continue writing on it, but decided that some of the chapters are more fit to be uploaded near Easter, and already announced the tale will be slow in updates and take off again next year :)

Joker's 'The Princess and the Clown' is one of the Joker 2019 tales I wish to pick up again but have been struggling with the changing perspectives. Also, I have been doubting where to take it. Romantic? Or Dark Romance? I seem to be doing that latter quite well the past year, but should I pull everything into the dark? I haven't decided yet and might do a poll about it one day. I expect I will be rewriting and updating this fic in the future.

Harrow will feature again in a new fanfic that I have started on. None of the chapters have been posted online yet, but it features the Reader as a young woman living trapped in his 'community', after having fallen for his charm. She is aware that escaping the cult is difficult and tries to make the best of it, until her secret crush - Harrow, who apparently has not looked at her romantically even once - forces her to marry his brother: Albert Shaw. This is, as you can guess, a crossover with the Black Phone and will feature lots of smut. I want to upload this fic as soon as possible, so it'll probably be one of the fics you'll see appear soon that features our beloved cult leader Arthur Harrow.

Joker-wise, I have an idea for a multi-chapter fic that I desperately want to write in the future. Plans are to start that tale once TMWCTBY is finally done. But the idea should also fit whatever sequel they have been making, so if I get round to it, you'll probably see it appear only after Joker 2 is out.

As to other projects, there are some more up and running. Of course, there are my other favorite slasher men, and I might write about one of my favorite ladies if I have the chance. I still have tales I need to finish for friends, and I am attempting to write something in a different language for a competition currently. But most of all, I am asleep in my bed, missing a lot of my life currently and having not nearly enough time to do everything I want. I am a mom with two young kids, who had to quit her job due to long covid. The long covid has given me Asthma. I was already a Migraine patient thanks to a benign tumor in my youth. And let's just say I am receptible to them. I am facing abdominal surgery soon and hopefully stop the pains, aches and goddamn bleeding (to everyone who has a blood fetish, you may keep it. I am not into it). I'll be in the hospital again tomorrow for a medical exam, so any updates in the upcoming days will probably be scheduled posts. But I love you all and will keep writing for as long as I can and whenever I can.

[echonk3]

999 Week 2023 - Clover

dabbled more into Clover being a model since I believe that was mentioned in the series, plus the theory that she's faking her dumbness in vlr along with SOIS as a company

You’ve heard of Clover Field briefly before from one or two of the few friends you’ve made in this industry who weren’t trying to backstab you. Plus, there’s been a couple magazines with her in it that you’ve seen with her bright pink hair that is apparently one of the rare people in the world with an abnormal hair colour. A genetics thing with her and her brother according to her.

From what your friends have told you, she models on the side from her job as something something information something (and yes, that’s literally what your friend told you) and that  they wanted to keep their distance from her. They warned you to do the same, because they unnerved them for some reason. Honestly, you can’t understand why. Her portrayal is as a dimwitted girl with big dreams, but then again, you’ve seen so many inaccurate portrayals. Some are portrayed as absolute dolls when in real life they’re some of the biggest bitches you’ve met.

At first glance in real life at the studio, she does look like that dimwitted girl, looking in awe at everything in such a nice place. Not to mention her outfit looking almost out of a teen movie. But at a second glance, that isn’t it. It’s almost as if she’s observing the place top to bottom. It doesn’t help that she’s asking questions, such as “where are the bathrooms? You never know when you have to go!” and “Oooo, I wonder who’s in charge? I want to compliment him on how good this place is!” and all are said in that sweet voice with a tone that you expected from her. A woman hovers in the background a bit further behind, talking with the staff. You recognize the brand on some of her clothes. Expensive, though a tad inappropriate with her cleavage. Just what agency is she with?

“It’s nice to meet you!” you plaster on a smile when she finally approaches you. “Maya’s said so many things about you!”

“Oh! You know Maya too?” she says, a similar smile on her face and a tilt of her head, though you notice something. That it doesn’t exactly meet her eyes, that her eyes look a little… hollow. Devoid of emotion. Like some of the models you’ve seen during shoots.

“Of course! She was one of the first people I had photoshoots with!” Truth actually. They decided to pair up two rookies and she’s been your rock. “Who’s your agency?”

Both you and Maya are decently known, so you’re curious to how they were able to hook her up with you, especially here.

“Oh, SOIS!” she replies.

“I’ve… never heard of them.” Your smile falters for a second.

“Oh that makes sense,” she waves her hand. “They dabble in a bit of everything. Money or something like that, which they get a lot of. I work for them in my day job.”

“Doin what?” you ask, and her smile goes on for a bit too long before the woman who had been hovering her practically appears out of nowhere.

“Clover, I need to talk to you.” Her tone is friendly, though with an underlying sense of sterness.

“Okay, where do you need us to go Alice-” The woman whisks her away without another word.

Odd. But not the oddest you’ve seen.

It only takes minutes for her to come back, and soon enough, the shoot had started and ended in a whirlwind of camera shots and different clothes. Clover, for her credit, was pretty obedient and knew the terms that were being thrown around, even if she did mishear some terms for some… absurd words.

“This has been great!” she tells you after it. “Hopefully we’ll model together again sometime!”

“I hope so too!” you tell her. At least some of the things she said were amusing during the shoot and kept things less boring.

“If you or your agency is interested in collaborating with her again, don’t hesitate to give us a call and we may be able to work something out.” Alice hands you a small card branded with SOIS, a bit of ambition in her eyes.

“Got it,” you reply, and with that, the two leave.

You don’t exactly get the unnerved vibe that your friends got, but maybe they just see her as more of a threat than you did. How could a girl who forgot her day job and misheard common terms be a threat? No matter how odd her agency and observant tendencies may be.

[c-ptsdrecovery]

I recently moved for university, and now that I’m away from my abusive mother so many of my C-PTSD symptoms have massively improved. (Chronic pain, GI issues, insomnia) I don’t have hypervigilance anymore. But, if I think about my mum or the abuse I suffered, or read about PTSD then my C-PTSD gets triggered again. I want to do therapy to process the trauma so I won’t ever get triggered again, but I don’t want to talk about my mum because then my body hurts and all the issues come back again. I’m also partly unsure if this is a false victory and the C-PTSD will get worse again soon, although it has been two weeks and I still feel fine. I was wondering if you had any advice on whether it’s worth digging through the trauma to come out the other side permanently, or now that the symptoms only bother me very rarely if I should just leave it alone.

This is my two cents, and of course your mileage may vary. But I would try the therapy--but only if you can get a therapist who is specifically trained in trauma therapy.

Trained trauma therapists are taught how to help their clients stay within their window of tolerance, emotionally: how to help their clients talk about difficult things without getting TOO upset, and how to help their clients calm themselves when they do get upset. Sometimes you do get triggered in trauma therapy, but it's not usually as bad as when you get triggered "out in the world" because your therapist helps you calm down and get out of the flashback. The therapist can also teach you self-calming techniques that you can use "out in the world" by yourself, which can reduce your symptoms of distress when you do get triggered outside of therapy.

By working with a trained trauma therapist and processing a good bit of your trauma, you can get triggered less often and less badly, which will hopefully reduce some of your stress-triggered physical symptoms, as well.

But here's the other thing I would say to you: Give yourself some time! You've been out of a toxic environment a grand total of TWO WEEKS. You don't have to do everything all at once. Your semester just started (heck, your entire university experience may have just started!), and there's a lot going on. Don't feel like you need to get into therapy RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW OMG. You can take a little time to decompress, get settled, see how you're feeling. Therapy is great, and you should probably do it at some point, but maybe it isn't the right time for it yet. You might find that dealing with university is Enough for you right now, and that is totally valid! Therapy might not even be the right choice for you until after you're graduated and in a steady job. Everybody's life is different, and everybody needs different things at different times. Give yourself a break and try not to overthink things too much just yet. <3

[draw-a-circle-imagines]

Allies + Axis with a sick s/o (it's always nice to see new heta imagines blogs !!)

I’d be more than happy to provide for you both so hopefully you don’t mind me combining your asks since they were similar! Also thank you so much for the warm welcome. It makes Mod Gil and I ecstatic to receive so many kind messages and greetings from you all. :D

Allies + Axis with a sick s/o (it's always nice to see new heta imagines blogs !!)

America

Despite lacking the ability to adequately look after England when he’s under the weather America would make sure that you’re in good hands with him there to take care of you.

Sure a lot of his tending to you would mostly be buying you whatever food you want and picking up any medication you’d need but he was still providing for you to the best of his abilities.

Along with getting you food he may just pop in with gift here and there, wanting to surprise you with little things he’d know would make you feel better.

Some of them aren’t exactly usable when you’re confined to your bed but at least you’d have a lot to look forward to.

That is if he doesn’t get sick by the time when you’re better. Which with America is highly likely given that he’ll kiss you even when he knows you’re unwell. Well at least he’s cute, right?

China

When it comes to helping someone get over an illness China’s an expert. He has plenty of remedies to soothe anything you’re afflicted with.

Have a runny nose? He’s got something for that. An itchy throat? Don’t you worry. Literally anything you need he’ll come running with a solution.

And while he may be a bit pushy he’d be sure to treat you to some great food too.

Sure he will still try to get you to try some foods that he claims will help you get better but if you’re a particularly picky eater he will give you whatever you want.

So long as he gets some praise for his cooking or your illness makes you act a little cute he’ll be happy to take care of you for as long as you need.

England

While he may argue that he does a far better job than France or America when it comes to taking care of other people, his performance is rather debatable.

Yes he can be a perfect gentleman and most certainly will provide for you but this also comes at the cost of him trying to make you food that will “help you get better.”

And by that it most definitely will not. Who knows what will happen if you eat his food and if it’s as bad as people say it won’t be making you feel any better.

Being cared for by England will mostly consist of you having “little appetite” and eating the food he bought for you to snack on as a meal when he’s not looking.

However, he is still sure to pamper you with anything else you need is rather good at attending to you every way that doesn’t involve food.

France

France is all about pampering you even when you’re not sick so expect double the usual amount of doting and fussing as soon as you’re feeling even a little under the weather.

He doesn’t want his love to feel unwell especially in a way where he can’t cheer you up with all the kisses and snuggles he can provide. But alas, sickness still strikes even despite his wishes.

He doens’t have any choice to dry his tears and to pamper you every other way he can instead.

So having his new goal in sight he’d start by making all of your favorite foods and waiting on you hand and foot.

It may not be too different from how he usually treats you but just you wait because as soon as you’re feeling well again you’re sure to be bombarded with all the affection he was holding off on.

Russia

Russia doesn’t often take care of others so he’d be elated that you’d trust him to help you get better.

Of course he’s upset that you’re sick in the first place but he gets over it rather quickly once he realizes that he can help you get better and what better way to help you than to provide you with something that always makes him feel better.

Borscht. Lots and lots of borscht. Perhaps too much even. What he brings you is an excessive amount and while it’s definitely edible it’s far too much to stomach when you’re ill.

He’s happy to grab you whatever you ask for but any time he brings you medicine or more blankets he always is sure to bring another bowl even if the other is far from finished.

He isn’t easy to convince otherwise but at least his heart is in the right place.

When it comes to caring for you he wants to provide what makes him happy as well as what he knows makes you happy too. It’s just all a bit too much even despite his intentions.

Germany

Taking care of others comes natural to Germany, or perhaps it’d be more appropriate to say that the responsibility of tending for others usually falls to him so he’s rather great to have around when you’re feeling unwell.

He always knows just what to do and can always figure something out if he doesn’t.

Even if it’s just a simply cold he’ll read up on exactly what a cold is, what it does to the body, and best treatments on his own time just to make sure that he’s fully prepared for anything thrown his way.

He doesn’t like being caught off guard if he can avoid and would want to prevent your sickness from becoming anything worse. However, given that mindset he can be a bit strict.

He means well but there’s no way he’s letting you get up from your bed aside from going to the restroom or grabbing something quickly. He wants to provide for you so that you don’t have to worry about a thing until you’re feeling 100% better.

Italy

As much as he means well, Italy isn’t great at being the one to take care of others.

He will certainly make you feel loved and cared for of course. He’d do nothing less! It’s just that he will certainly make a lot of mistakes while you’re on your way to recovery.

He’ll try to make your favorite foods even if they’re not great on the stomach and may forget to give you a dose of medicine until you remind him but he’s still great to have at your bedside if you overlook that all.

Even if it isn’t smart on his part he’ll give you all the affection you could need. He’s happy to press kisses to your forehead, hold your hand, or even snuggle up with you in bed while you’re sick.

Of course it will end up with him getting sick and needing to be the one to be taken care of but at least you know just how much he loves you no matter what.

Japan

Japan may not be the most affectionate person but that doesn’t mean that he’s necessarily bad at tending for you.

He will for certain, keep a facemask on around you but he’ll do his best to provide for you just as much as anyone else.

He’s proud of his cooking and would try his hardest to find something that’s easy on your stomach as well as comforting for the soul. It may be Nikujaga,Okayu, or something else you requested of him.

No matter what you ask of him he’ll find a way to come up with something close to whatever you requested and even if it isn’t perfect he never provide anything that isn’t the best he can give.

He won’t stay right beside you the whole day but he’s sure to check up on you often, asking you if you need anything of him so long as you’re up when he makes his routine stop to your room.

It might not be the most affectionate or romantic but his care is definitely effective if nothing else. Plus, if you’ve been sick for quite some time he may just let you be a bit more affectionate than he usually would as his own way of saying he missed being able to be close to you too.

Spain

Spain would be heartbroken to learn you’re feeling ill. He loves seeing you happy and as much as he’s always willing to provide whatever you need he’d be torn up seeing the person he cares for unwell.

Thankfully his sadness doesn’t last too long as he decides to roll his sleeves up and get to work. You won’t feel any better if he’s down in the dumps too.

Like Italy he can be a little too carefree or clumsy on rare occasions but he’s not bad at caring for you.

He’s always sure to cook your favorite meals, he brings you whatever you want from the store and he’s not a bad bedside companion either.

On occasion you may wake up to find a gift or two on your bedside table and corny notes written about all the things you’ll do once you’re better. It’s not excessive albeit dramatic but it’s cute in it’s own right.

And when you’re awake you’ll find that like always he’s pretty chatty (though he tries not to be if your head hurts) and always finds a way to bring a smile to your face.

He loves to lay on compliments when you’re especially feeling bad even if you know for a fact you don’t look nearly as good as he says.

However, it’s nice to hear still and he knows this. He won’t let the time you’re sick be a boring time. Sure he can’t make all the pain go away but he can try his hardest to keep you happy while he cares for you.

[geckosliktheireyes]

.. So my irl bestie has made the risky promise of- "if you write fanfic, ill write fanfic" so here i am, posting this shit, to spite her, its an au ive been working on bc i feel like the universes fit together- heres some of my ideas.

Lumera- a world renound sword maker, shes made legendary swords that have defeated dragons to fleets of armies. Famous for her craft she lives on a large estate in Lythos, a small town of peaceful people in the earth nation, a non bender,. Though with her fighting techniques youd never tell the difference.

Vander- a friend of Lady Lumera, secretive, and strict, a metal bender

Alear- raised within the walls of her mothers villa and workshop, she took up a severe intrest in martial arts, quite practiced in it she frequents to Dojo on Lythos to her be trained, by Vander of course, a long time friend of Lady Lumera, a non bender who is soon plunged into her responsibilies and the pressure of being the Avatar

Clanne- the boy is a water bender- a.. Clumsy one at that- though hes one of Alears cloest friends- he keeps all sorts of secrets hes been sworn into by Vander

Framme- Alears other friend, a girl who may rival Alear in her martial arts abilities, a water bender who can only use it for healing abilities, though she doesn't seem to bothered by that, she happens to be a loud mouth, and is very upset by what her brother and Vander aren't letting her know.

Alfred- prince of the earth kingdom, and frail in his own way, though if you mention that youll be subjected in tagging along with his job through the nearby mountain range, he never met Alear until they met in a china shop, Celine wanted new china for her tea parties,, and Alear didn't quite know how she ended up there, but lets just say they didn't leave with any china, nothing was left in one piece

Ivy- princess of the southern water tribe, reluctant as her father dives into the possibilitys with dead bodies, water bending, and war. Shes caught in quite the mess, unsure of what side she should be on, not wanting to leave her poor kid sister behind with people who manipulate the long dead.

Diamant- prince of the fire nation, he met Alear while camping with his father and brother. The "avatar" had gotten caught in Alcryst's hunting trap, which was quite a hilarious fiasco of his yelled apologies and offers of everything he owned as a "sorry" , he decides to try to teach Alear fire bending which they soon realize is easier said than done.

Timerra- a powerful air bending monk, known for.. Being the chillest around really, she finds the "avatar" amusing, and is also quite suspicious of if this girl is really capable of anything other than tripping over her own sword and completing others to no end.

Idk if this is crap or not i havent shown anything ive written publicly since 2014 💀

Heres a lil snippet of the first chapter, so yall can see what my writings like and if its worth reading or anything. Im a newbie definitely, and.. Very wordy but my irl bestie said she'll be my beta reader and editor for me! So hopefully that will improve if she gets the time to do so.

"Alear knew something was off the moment her mother informed her it was time to forge a sword of her own. Lumera was a master in the crafting of blades of all sorts, but never seemed too worried about teaching Alear the details of her work. Alear was alright with it, she had her own talents, such as her martial arts, that she was always working on, Lumera understood her child walked a different path than her own. Which. Is why it confused Alear so when her mother became adamant she needed a sword of the finest silver and the sharpest blade as soon as possible. And even more confused she became when her mother told her she would forge the sword to make it the closest to her liking. It was a nerve wracking process which made Alear appreciate her mothers work to no end..however LIberation was done in due time. The silver and gold sword felt heavy in her hands, but.. a sort of comforting weight , one she knew would help protect her shall it ever need too. Lumera gave a soft chortling laugh.

‘’My child you are not supposed to hold it in such a way- your lucky your have gloves ‘lest you cut yourself!’’ She took Alears confused and clumsy hands, showing her the proper way to handle the blade.

‘’Oh.. I still don't understand why I need a sword- much less one of silver and meteorite metals! I think this sword is better than even the blades you use!’’ She exclaimed…feeling the grief for Lumeras financial state. ‘’I don't see the issue? The daughter of a sword master should have something to show for her lineage.’’ She gave her child a bright smile, her light blue hair tied back into a regal bun, as she reached into a wooden crate by her side and pulled from it a steel sword with a blue leather hilt, the blade having been dulled of course but Alear sure as hell didn't know that. As her face convulsed into an expression of panic and confusion. Her mother lunged at her, swords clashing as Alear defended her face from a slash , in a less than graceful manner." soyeah. Uhm we'll see if i write it- lemme know how my writing is.

And heres a drawing of the main cast's designs, hope i combined ATLA with ENGAGE nicley and this isnt just a total cringe fest ill look back on as i tremble in terror of the memory in passing years.

Also engage dlc looking tasty

[brutashaphilindaandsylkiohmy]

Hello friends. It's been quite a while.

Okay, okay I get it. I disappeared off the face of the planet without much explanation. All I can say is I graduated college, started a big adult person job, and am kinda sorta in a relationship so... things got hectic very quickly.

That being said, I had an epiphany while taking a shower the other night.

Does anybody remember something very crackheaded that I threw together titled Stranded?

For those who don't know (of which I'm sure there are many), Stranded was a Phil Coulson/Melinda May fanfic idea that stemmed from another fanfic I read that still makes me all gooey inside when I read it named Finding Home. (GIVE IT A READ IT'S ON AO3 AND OH MY GOD IT'S AMAZING)

Basically, May gets stuck in a tiny town when her rental car decides to straight up stop working. Insert handsomely dorky mechanic Phil Coulson and his soccer star daughter Daisy. Through the power of convenience and necessity, Coulson and May fall in love. I won't ruin the ending even though it's pretty predictable.

At least... I thought it was the end.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I PRESENT TO YOU... A SHORT PREVIEW OF STRANDED CHAPTER 6.

Enjoy if you want 😅

---

"Sir, he has yet to respond to our communique."

"I told you, Sanderson, we have to play it by ear with him."

"Sir we can't afford to wait much longer. There are other mechanics."

"Not like this one."

"I understand sir but we have missions to complete and-"

"Then complete them."

"Well we tried but the... the Quinjet isn't repaired yet and-"

"So you need a mechanic."

"Well, yes sir we do."

"He's a mechanic."

"But there are others who have expressed interest in joining us already. We wouldn't have to wait on them."

"Then bring them the hell in. I'll keep an eye on this recruit myself."

"Pardon me sir I just don't understand your... affinity for this one. He's just a civilian like all the others were when they signed up. What makes this one so different?"

Fury's eyes glanced up at the date glowing silently on the holoscreen in front of him. April 4th, 2012. Exactly one month remaining.

"Approve the other recruits. Bring them in and start their damn training. You're dismissed."

Sanderson's footsteps left his office after a quick but hesitant "yes sir". Fury sat down in the chair behind his desk, his one good eye focused on the bloodstained Captain America card in its plexiglass case across the room. Right beside the card was a letter, signed by Melinda May... announcing her resignation from ops.

"I braved hell and high water to get here, Phil. I failed you both before. I'm not about to do it again."

---

Don't worry, it won't be The Avengers. That would be boring. Nope, this is gonna be... chaotic with plenty of Philinda and the twins! And also Daisy of course. Timeline-hopping Fury is gonna be...an interesting addition. Lots of Fury getting to know what Papa Phil is like and coming to terms with how different he is. Hopefully it gets finished and put up soon... but until then, keep checking back for updates. 😅

I also understand that there seems to be way more dialogue. It won't be like this when the chapter comes out. I'm still tossing around ideas in my head and dialogue is always the first things sorted, so that's why there isn't much in the way of world-building or anything like that. It'll be much better when it's done I promise!

I love you all! ❤️

[fourseasonsfigs]

Xuxu 【雙徐】♥️

This pair of figs looks like Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan - but it's actually two of their characters!

This Double Xu features Zhehan as (modern) Xu Jin from The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion, and Gong Jun as Xu Si from Rising with the Wind (to be aired).

I still have The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion on my to-watch queue, so I haven't caught up with our sparkly-eyed modern Duke Su yet. I don't want to spoil myself (or you!) so I'll simply add a promo pic of him for fig comparison purposes:

Keen-eyed observation notes he looks broad shouldered and super cuddly in that soft looking cardigan.

Wait a minute, the fig is of him in a suit, not a cardigan! Hold on, hold on, let me get a promo pic of him in a suit...

Hmm, there we go. That suit matches the fig, although it needs the coat over it. I'll come back once I've properly watched the show!

Xu Si is Gong Jun's genius investor character from Rising with the Wind, which should be hopefully airing soon. Xu Si was spotted during filming wearing a lot of very beautiful suits and coats, such as:

But let's not talk about that so much in order to jump right to the fig maker's bonus for the first 1,000 buyers.

The fig maker offered this lovely bonus of an A5 folder with artwork of the two of them. This is what you saw featured as a fig background and you can see the full view of here:

Rooftop proposals are always in style! And YES, let's talk about this.

You may recognize that handsome pose from this handsome photo:

Yes, here we have Gong Jun wearing a gorgeous long coat over a gorgeous tuxedo and looking like a 100 million billion dollars yuan. This photo shoot of him striding across the Shanghai Peninsula Hotel helipad like he owns Shanghai himself, his long coat billowing and snapping in the wind, is pretty much everything I've ever wanted in a visual ever.

This photo shoot was done on 12-21-2021, during filming of Rising with the Wind.

Hot damn. If you will recall from me raving about Zhehan's Weibo Night McQueen frock coat, I have an intense weakness for long coats. They are my favorite. He is debonair in this.

Incredible. Wow, do we ever have exceptional taste, I must congratulate us.

Ok, I could stay here all night staring at these photos, but we have figs to talk about!

Look at that dapper suit and tux and those shiny shoes! Those Oxfords are polished to a mirror shine. I like it when each other has the other's symbol in their eyes, so we have Gong Jun Xu Si (ugh, it's hard to stay in the JZUniverse for this!) staring at his moon and Xu Jin literally starry-eyed looking at his beautiful star.

You notice the ring in Xu Ji's hand? Yep. Really, these figs are a blend of JZEU and Junzhe.

The white rose Zhehan / Xu Jin is holding is of course a nod to Zhehan's comment that if he ever confessed his love, he would confess it with a white rose, as well as Gong Jun's single white rose his assistant was spotted with during filming:

Oops, so easy to get distracted by all the symbolism. Onwards!

Love the detail on the rose here, and little flip in the back of Xu Si's coat (it must get windy on that helipad indeed!). The fig maker did a nice job with the hair - really captured Xu Jin's hairstyle from the show, and we have Xu Si's expensive layered cut.

Interestingly not much of a height difference on these figs. Xu Jin is pretty tall in the future. We have a bit of a forward lean on both of these handsome men, but otherwise they stand pretty well.

I like the coat detail of each of their hands in their pockets. Ugh I love the long coat even from the back, that's how deep the love for gorgeous long coats goes.

Top view - they're very seriously and cutely talking about their upcoming wedding plans.

Extreme closeup of their outfits, the rose, and the ring! I love Xu Jin's uwu mouth (because of course I do, that mouth shape is so cute!)

Xu Si's Serious Investor Face together with his Serious Investor Mouth looks frowny from this angle (sorry guys, I don't look good in an upshot angle myself!), but from a regular straight on view he just looks Serious. Well, I guess proposing to the love of your life IS the most Serious Business there can be!

Look at the heel on these shoes! The detail in these! I love it. What a great set of figs.

I'm not sure why there's chocolate bars on the box cards, but I'm not here to question artistic choices in fig designs. Maybe a better question is why not have chocolate bars on the box cards?

Now I kind of do want some chocolate. Advertising of the cutest kind! I'll buy it all!

Material: PVC (and apparently different percentages of cocoa)

Fig Count: 201

Scene Count: 17

Rating: Handsome and delicious!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

[temporarymoods]

worst week of the year

hey blog

theres so much i want to tell you and would rather be feeling right now e.g. my truth about being nonbinary and graduating and moving and finishing college and new music and new inspirations and volunteering and all those thoughts about the world and cooking-- but right now i just feel like shiiiiiit.

nothing profound, barely edited stream of consciousness, about:

insecurity

it's so hitting sometimes. and i try to come up with why and i figure a couple things: stress. not sleeping great. hormones (follicular phase). the weather (gloomy). anxiety (but that's the same thing as insecurity). not eating great. negative reinforcement. negative reinforcement. negative reinforcement. reading into things. losing the male gaze. needing so badly different clothes.

it's the worst when it manifests socially like this. like the most negative voice in your head narrating-- why? i know it's just as easy to switch to another. so why do i have these tendencies to slip into the worst of it? just wired that way? why do the low moods have such a moving character? maybe its not that big of a deal. but for days i have felt awful. and i cant even communicate that properly to the people that love me because its too much- its really just too much to launch into. and so i need a long chat before i can move any of this weight off me. so im here. <3

i know i dont suck. but sometimes i guess i do. or i could. so i worry about being lost-- about other people losing me, in a concerned-for-myself way. and i think about how utterly pointless this post is because girl, you're not saying anything that hasn't already been sai across the world.

that's nice. this shit isn't unique. but whe no one talks about it it kinda feels like everything is fine for everybody. and when i'm doing fine i see that that's true in a sense. everyone's lives are so cool even when theyre bad. no need to compare because we're really on the same page. just need to remember that. the equalness. the sameness of the value of all of our lives, of my life in particular. it is not less it is not less. dear reader i can only say in plain words and ask you to believe me that the "but"s come up so strong there. "it is not less" does not sit without protest, and riot again. i don't want to lie, so opens up the possibility that "it is not less" is not true... you may see how the facilitation of this dialogue weighs on me.

judging myself for all that i don't do. so much love so little do, i think. but then i dont have time. because im a student. and that kills me. been slowly killing me for years. once i decided i wouldnt die the killing only got slower, subtler. what a drain on the spirit. you ask anyone, hopefully, they will tell you, college has not been for me. but in college i have found pieces of life that could be, that would be. i feel closest to them now. but what if ive been lying? what if my lines i repeat against this fucking institution have just been An Excuse? for not living... that's terrifying. that i'm a phony. that im really just a loser !! we'll see i guess. what a pressure. what a chance.

feeling so limited in so many ways . in the gender fashion way (and with those two words im done speaking on this). in the free time way, of course. my friends inspire me when they do things that are simply joyful. smart. so smart. can't afford to give myself those pleasures right now. i want to soon. i so, so want to. and i hope that when this all goes away i wasn't lying and i can. the kind of thing that you cant test or experiment on without replicating exact conditions, so the kind of thing you can't really ever know until you're there: if life gets better.

i think there are things about me that i need to fix. first: stop using i/me/mine. unpack that. i dont think its actually like that. like probably shut the fuck up and stop THINKING!! about yourself. but also---- this is important---- think about yourself more and do a much better job upon reflection, please. tweak. and edit. and abolish. yesss, yes. then you'll get it.

at least i am so far from my potential. like, that's a good thing. there are so many things i can do. thats empowering an i think about that a lot because its part of my self therapy prompt. i think ive talked about it on here before but in case i didnt/as a refresher, when i journal for efficacy it usually starts with "i'm feeling [fill in blank.] i can do something about this!" literally. like i make myself write that sentence every time. kind of geen, would recommend. works. having agency rules. having a tendency to forget i have agency sucks. something to work on something to build.

and of course ive come a long way. for the worst week of my 2024 its not that bad of a week, like woah. really puts it into perspective. things could suck so much badder. thank Fucking god. im really fine. its really fine. phew. the future is chilling, honest, if only because i have so much knowledge er wisdom about how to be happy. and cuz of logistics. we good. i love my people and they love me and like its fiiiine and im cool. the present aint bad i just need to do my homework, that's all, really. i just need to do it and now that i've typed all of this out i feel a bit better like i can. in pavement. rn. bagel sandwich on mom. gift card from christmas/my bday, cool. iced vanilla latte matching the classic vibe. i am but a collection of past selves, my life built upon other versions, wearing these fuckass old clothes in a new body is kind of the human condition. changing and having to catch up to it. we're in that gap of time where things havent updated or refreshed. the part in second puberty where its not actually done yet. theres actually more to come and youre in that transitional phase. thats what this is. another one of those. things just arent figured out or settled or that comfortable because im too busy to make them better or good and thats just what it is right now and thats fine because there is definitely an end to this. 2 weeks, whatever. i can make it two weeks at not-my-best. which is wild to say because i was literally feeling my best like a week ago, so, what? that's what this fucking blog is all about. kateworld changes so fast. its all temporary.

catch you on the upswing

Kate

<3

[viktoriahayes]

High heels clicking on the tile floor, Vik boards the elevator and pushes a button on the wall. She watches as the number six lights up and the lift begins to move. The strong, intoxicating scent of coffee fills the enclosed space. She doesn't always make coffee runs but she felt obligated.

The elevator stops and the doors slide open. Vox and Velvette are having a conversation which seems to be slightly heated. That's one thing Vik has noticed since she started working at the V Tower, all three of them are total hotheads.

"I brought coffee for my favorite people!" She smiles sweetly.

"Ah, Vikky. How are you this morning?"

Vox turns towards her with a warming grin and Vik's heart flutters.

"Same shit different day unfortunately. Chicken shit at the register took three turns trying to get my order correct!" Vik rolls her eyes with a sneer.

"Oh, I see. Well, hopefully things get better." He sympathizes.

"I'm sure they will. Here's your coffee, sir. One hot black coffee right here."

She carefully removes the to go cup from the drink carrier and hands it to him.

He takes a sip and smiles, "Thank you, you really shouldn't have, Vikky."

"You're very welcome, sir." she blushes.

"Please stop calling me sir. You can always call me Vox!"

He puts his arm around her and she damn near melts to the floor.

"Oi, would you love birds quit that? You're making me sick!" Velvette glares.

"S-sorry, Vel. Here's yours. I got you an iced white chocolate latte with vanilla cold foam and caramel drizzle."

"You really know me too well, Vikky darling. It's fabulous. Are you ready for your very first cat walk debut?" Velvette muses.

"Yes! I got my nails done yesterday and my hair stylist should be here soon. I'll leave the rest of the magic to you, dear."

"Wonderful! Now go give Valentino his drink so we can get started." Velvette barks.

"Yes, of course." Vik nods and makes her way to Val's chambers.

She knocks on the doors and when they open she is greeted by an olfactory onslaught of pink smoke from Val's cigarette.

"Vikky, sweetheart. Come in, come in." A voice beckons her.

"I brought you coffee, just how you like it." She says with nerves like frayed wires.

Vik started her work with the V's as an actress for Valentino. He was always kind and accommodating. Perhaps there was an unconscious fear of what may happen if he wasn't. She made sure that he understood that she has boundaries and wasn't about to let him or any man abuse them. After all, she wasn't afraid to show anyone just how much of a bitch she can really be. She never needed anyone to defend her, she was always more than willing to do it herself. Even though she has a steady ongoing relationship with Vox she never used that as leverage against him.

If Valentino gives her respect she will reciprocate just as much. They may be in Hell but she still has her morals and good manners.

"Perfect. What did you get me this time? I always love it when you surprise me." The moth man grins.

"So this one is a bit fancier than what I got you last time." She grabs the cup from the now empty carrier.

"Oh?" He questions with a small moth squeak.

"It's a blended strawberry frappe with three pumps of amaretto syrup, chocolate ribbons, strawberry pieces and hot fudge drizzle. I call it "the Valentino" or the chocolate dipped strawberry."

He takes a sip, "Oh my, are you sure you shouldn't be a barista?"

"I quite enjoy my job here. I don't particularly care for a mundane mediocre nine to five." She's interrupted by Val's towering figure circling her.

"Or?, you could come back and work for me? I'll pay you triple what you're getting now along with some added benefits?"

She ruminated on it for a few seconds but then everything went wrong. She couldn't do that. She's already invested so much of her time and resources into VoxTech and is now Velvette's top model.

"I'd love to but I already have a lot on my plate right now." She tells him sheepishly.

"Well, I will leave my offer on the table just in case you change your mind."

Val sits back down on his love seat with his coffee in one hand and a burning cigarette in the other. He had his fun but now her body belongs to someone else. That was then and this is now. How could she expose herself to the world when the only man that should ever lay eyes on her voluptuous frame is just a few floors beneath them?

Vox. Was it his laid back demeanor? Or his charm and charisma? Perhaps she just loves a well dressed man? Maybe it's everything. Regardless, she is hopelessly smitten by him and from what she can tell, when no one is watching he too has feelings for her. She remembers his laugh and can't help but smile. All of the sudden her thoughts are once again broken...

"Darling Viktoria, are you alright?" The Moth removes his cigarette from his lips.

"Yes, yeah, I'm fine. I better get going. I still need to get ready for the runway."

"Yes of course, break a leg, Vikky." Val wiggles his fingers as she turns to leave.

To Be Continued...