#(please read the trigger warnings

[jujutsukgojo]

Disobedience

Summary: Unfortunately, Zenin completely slipped your mind. He was never on it to begin with. How were you supposed to know that your interaction meant something? Or that he would remember you, someone who he met once several years ago?

an: this is inspired by Stalking Laura (1993) which is a movie based on a true story. So, there are notable similarities that this has with the movie. tw: gun violence, stalking, assault, sexual harassment, criticizing makeup and weight (implied?), misogyny

All it took was one meeting. One look for you to immediately come to the conclusion that Naoya Zenin is repulsive. He’s nothing but an insecure joke. For someone who claims he’s strong, he sure as hell is worried about it. Hiding behind a macho facade that is practically leaking out a fragile and overinflated ego; shoving his ideals about women and not giving a damn about humanity or humility.

  It began when your parents went over to the Zenin household when you were about ten or so years old. Even at that young of an age you marveled at the Zenin’s house. Truly, it’s a beauty. Elegant and traditional without it being outdated. As you were admiring the house and walking in the garden, a boy with blond hair with dark ends appeared behind an elephant statue. 

  You ignored him and walked past him. He didn’t like that at all. Immediately, he yanked you backwards and pushed you against the statue. “Women should walk three steps behind a man.”

  You gasped at his sudden action and opinion. Feeling petty, you look around. "Where's a man?" He looked aghast, shocked by your quip. What did he expect? He just pushed you into a statue and believes that women should walk behind him. Did he think you’d take that easily?

His lip curls and eyes fill with rage. His face changed to red.  “You bi-”

You quickly cut him off before he can finish. “If you’re talking about yourself, then I’ll remind you that you weren’t even walking.”

  Just like that, he stopped. What you thought would be this random boy going off on you ended up with him giving a scowl. You took the opportunity to run away. He called out for you only to find silence.

  Throughout the visit, the boy stared at you intently. Following his eyes, his father, Naobito, introduced him as Naoya. Even when his father spotted Naoya's attention on you, Naoya still insisted on studying your every move, making you too nervous to enjoy your meal. Your mother noticed how tense you became, and in a whisper, she asked, "Are you okay?"

  Everyone turned to look at you. Despite wanting to out his staring, you shake your head yes. It's not that looking at someone is cause to get him in trouble, it's the way he's doing it. Like he wants to hurt you. 

  So busy looking at your hands, you don't notice that the adult to your left had switched seats at the boy's request. The adult cooed and awed, complying to his request. It isn't until a plate of cake is put in front of you that you notice the change. "You're going to eat this with me."

   His father laughs at it and...cheers? The newly greying man slurs his question, reeking of alcohol. "Growing up to be a man so soon?" 

The adults laugh with him, praising how well he's developing into "someone to take charge" and is a shining hope for a family. In the corner of your eye, you see him smirk with a twinkle of pride in his amber eyes.

It all goes over your head but doesn't sit right with you. You look at the plate in front of you. Although you love a good dessert, you don't touch it. The evening continued on without you picking up on his growing curiosity, rage, and infatuation. 

  Of course, you parents talked about the prospect of the two of you together. Apparently, they noticed him eyeing you from across the table and how "smitten" he was. You simply answered, ‘no’. 

 That was the last time you talked to or about him or any of the Zenins. As the years went on, your parents worried about your future and marriage. You brushed them off time and time again, much to their irritation. It got to the point where they were even threatening to cut off your college fund for it. Needless to say, you left. No one gets to decide shit for you. 

  With the help of some friends and a caring teacher that you remained close to, you were able to have a temporary shelter until you could get on your feet. It took months of saving and odd jobs but in the end, you were able to get assistance for college. 

  It was all liberating. Working hard and thinking for yourself. Being free without being proper or worrying about a stain or two. The blood, sweat, and tears were all worth it. Years later, you graduated at the top, opening hundreds of windows of opportunities. 

  Unfortunately, Zenin completely slipped your mind. He was never on it to begin with. How were you supposed to know that your interaction meant something? Or that he would remember you, someone who he met once several years ago?

     You woke up in a good mood, having dreamt of memories, strangely. You remember how excited and nervous you were when you got hired at your job. Leo, your boss, is a boisterous and kind man who's larger than life. Despite this, he is stern in his rules and direction. It makes you chuckle on how your first day went exactly one year ago. After only a few minutes after meeting you, he decided to 'manifest’ that you'd get a higher position. Now, a higher position is open, and you are one of the people who are thought to be considered for it. Of course, you aren't banking on it. You've only been there for a short time and there are plenty of people who have more experience and do an overall better job than you. 

It's nice to be thought of for the job even if you aren't really up for it. Not officially, at least. However, you have worked hard for a better position. 

  It's only been a year when you got hired and met all of your friends. At work, you clicked with Yuki, a woman with a gorgeous smile and has goddess braids that she herself put in (she made sure you knew that). When you first met her on your first day at work, she took an immediate liking to you. She talked animatedly about her dress for her sister’s wedding. As it turns out, Yuki does not like pink taffeta.

 

  “It’s like she’s trying to make me ugly! Look at this. This is what I’m supposed to wear.” Her slim fingers scroll through her phone for you to see a bubblegum pink taffeta dress with one sleeve on the shoulder and lavender lace on the waist. The dress is form fitting until the bottom fluffs out in magenta tulle. 

  “Oh my God.” Lord, help her this is ugly. “Exactly! I’m not wearing that, screw it.” You pop a french fry in your mouth. “So, what're you going to do?”

  Yuki stops for a second then puts a wicked smirk on her glossy lips. Her mocha skin glows in the sun from the window behind her. Her eyes gleam mischievously. “Wear a wedding dress.”

You nearly choke on your food. “Yuki!”

“She’s doing this on purpose. Look at the other bridesmaids.” She shows you four silk, Grecian like, gowns with subtle and elegant designs. “See? And I get stuck with that.”

   You chew on your burger. “Could it be a joke?”

“No. Not unless my mom’s in on it which wouldn’t surprise me. She’s always been like that with us.” Yuki sips on her pop. 

  “This may be bad advice but go for it. Be the belle of the ball.” She laughs. “Yes, yes, yes! I knew there was a reason I liked you.” 

 Now that you think about it, yesterday was her sister's wedding if you remember right. You wonder if she went through with it. 

You stretch and get ready for work, looking forward to the possible talk you'll have with Leo about the promotion. Not only will you be accomplishing a goal, but you'd also get higher pay which would make Em, your roommate, happy. 

  "Morning, Em." She gives a light wave, clearly not fully awake yet. Confused, you look at the clock. "Shouldn't you be at work? It's seven."

"Hired a morning worker, remember? So, I shouldn't be working at four in the morning everyday thank God."

"Amen." You say and start making coffee. Although she is the owner of an excellent cafe, you usually make the coffee in the morning. It's your way of giving her a break from it even if only for a moment. You start to lightly chuckle as you notice the green jar. 

"Don't you even think about it. I'm serious!" Em warns. You shake it a little. "You don't want decaf?" 

  She puts her hands on her hips. "It's seven in the morning. I need the hard stuff." You put the decaf down and grab the regular. "I wanted the hard stuff, too, remember?"

Em looks at you questioningly. "When I applied for the apartment? You served me decaf."

"Ha! That's the same jar too." 

The house was of a decent size and clean. The outside didn’t look like much but the inside was decorated nicely if not a little quirky. In front of the entrance is a rug that looks like the carpet in The Shining. A clock on the wall in the shape of an apple, throw pillows of different designs and some look homemade. The paint on the walls is different in each room. Could she not decide on which color?

  “Alright, where are you from?” The woman who is about your age with long hair asks. Her eyes are warm, and she has a few freckles. They’re cute, you note. 

   “I wasn’t born here, if that’s what you mean. I was raised in Kyoto though.”

  She nodded, taking in the information and understanding your wording. You don’t want to talk about that. Lucky for you, she’s easy going and aware. “Okay, I get it. I don’t like thinking of that shit either.”

  You look around the kitchen, secretly looking at the corners and the trim, wondering if you’ll see anything. So far, there isn’t a big hitch. “What’s the catch?”

  She hums and looks up at you. “It’s a little too good to be true. I mean, sharing a house for this price?”

  She scratches her face. “No catch. My old job helped me keep up the place, then I got fired and was able to finally get my cafe together.” She takes a breath. “I make enough now to not rely on my savings so much but not enough to pay for and take care of a house.”

   You nod. “I get it. Y’know, getting started late.” You truly understand. After high school, it took you a hot minute to get to college and get hired for jobs. 

“Exactly. Everything is overwhelming so I decided to risk my life and take my chance on a potential serial killer. Anything to save a buck.”

   “If it helps, I’m not one. I’m quite normal,” You shrug. “Terribly, boringly, normal.”

She pats the counter in an upbeat rhythm. “How unfortunate. Coffee?”

  She holds a pot. “Sure. Thank you.” As she finishes pouring you a mug, she looks up at you. “It’s decaf by the way.”

You stop mid sip. “Why would you do that?” You make her laugh to herself. 

“By your reaction, I already like you. You’re quiet but a go-getter. Don’t sell yourself short.” You don’t touch your decaf again. 

Em scratches her head. "That shit's got to be expired, toss it." She stops scratching and studies you. "What made you so nostalgic this morning?" That's a good question, honestly. "There's something in the air, I guess."

"Well don't bring that shit over here. It's way too early to think about my past, hell. I need something a little stronger than coffee if that's what we're doing." You roll your eyes at her. "No, Em, that's not what's happening."

  You pour her a cup and place the cream and sugar before her. "It's possible that I get that promotion, y'know? I'm not fully qualified but it's possible. I'll be making more money..."

"That reminds me, your half of the rent is due." 

"Em! I'm serious." She nods. "I understand what you're saying," Em looks at the clock. "Can we table this? We both have to get ready." 

As you exit your car and walk into the building, you notice a familiar looking vehicle. For the life of you, you can’t place it. So, you ignore it and continue on. “Good morning, Rue.”

  You wave at the receptionist who has the phone against her ear. She gives you a quick wave before exasperatingly answers whatever was asked over the phone.

  “Ah, (L/n). This is the new hire, Naoya Zenin.” The name sounded so familiar to you. His hair is distinct, and eyes are very catlike. You can’t pin it, but you know him from somewhere. The little tick in your mind is pushed back. If you can’t recognize him then it doesn’t matter. 

  The man pats Leo on his back. “Transfer. Nice to meet you.” He shakes your hand with a firm grip. “So, I was about to give him the tour, want to join?”

  “Leo, I already know my way around.” Your boss looks at you incredulously. “I distinctly remember you having to ask for directions to the bathroom.”

  “Fine.” You scoff, a little embarrassed that he knew that. Leo leads the tour. Naoya asks questions about the departments and officials. Leo answers with ease then adds, “Then again, you aren't in this department."

  "You misunderstand, I am not in a department. I am the future CEO." Your eyebrows raise. Leo copies your expression sticks and his hand out. "Oh, well, nice to meet you!" 

"Did you not know this, Leo?" You whisper to him. "No, one of the higher ups asked me to. I didn't think anything of it." 

 The transfer pays no mind to you. You didn’t get the vibe that it was intentional though. You break off and head to your cubicle. From the corner of your eye, he studies you as he and Leo walk away, with Leo explaining the company in his usual light tone. 

  “I did it!” Yuki runs up to your cubicle. “What?” 

She pulls out her phone to show her selfie she did in a stark white wedding dress in a bathroom. The dress was studded and had a mermaid silhouette and a sweetheart neckline. In usual Yuki fashion, her makeup was elegant and had a dramatic lip stain to her full lips. 

  “I can’t believe you went through with it…” She slides through the photos. She had the gall to take a picture of her throwing peace signs as her sister cries in the background. 

  “Hey, you told me to!”

“Oh come on. You were planning this before I…well, encouraged it.”

“Uh-huh! See!” You roll your eyes at her flamboyant demeanor.  “Anyway, I didn’t stay long or was dramatic about it or anything.”

  You side eye her and raise a brow. “Really?”

“I wasn’t! I felt too much like a lady. Look at me with my opera gloves.” She points to one of her pictures in her gown.

   “Since you weren’t dramatic, do you think your family will take that into consideration?”

“Nope. My mother sided with her through it all and my dad then walked me out.” Yuki and her father are close. So, to have him escort her out must’ve hurt a little. “He said I looked pretty then he shut my car door.”

  “Are you okay?” You whisper, noticing that her gaze went a little far. She blinks multiple times and lightly slaps her cheeks. “Yep! Oh, here’s Junie the other day!”

  You respect her wishes to drop the subject and go on to coo at the image of her daughter, who shares her name. Rather than calling her Yuki as well, it was decided to just nickname her Junior. 

---------

 At lunch, you, Yuki, and a few others decided to go to a small mom and pop pizzeria. It’s small and dingy but by the Lord in heaven, they make excellent pizza. Per usual, you argue about the toppings. No one can make up their mind or compromise. You groan at the thought of ground beef being on your pizza with no cheese. 

   “Rue, I swear to God-” 

“What? I’m lactose intolerant!” 

  The chair next to yours scrapes, causing you to look up at the transfer, Zenin. “We’re getting separate pizzas. It’s the easiest way, don’t you agree.”

 His tone and words rub you the wrong way. Getting separate personal pizzas is an easy route, but how he worded it sounds wrong. Like he’s telling you. Rue raises her brows in a welcomed shock. She elbows Yuki, who is still looking at the menu for her toppings. Your friends might see this as a turn on, but it’s off putting.

   Leo joins the group and explains that he and Zenin were at lunch when they were told that you and your friends went to the pizzeria. The waitress looks at you. “Crap…” You look over the menu, having forgotten what you wanted. Unexpectedly, Zenin pipes up once again and orders for you. 

  “We’ll share. It’s on me.” Zenin tells you. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that. Seriously.” 

“Hear that? It’s on Zenin!” 

“Should’ve got extra toppings…” Rue whines. 

   Thirty minutes after random conversation, the pizza is out. Zenin puts a slim slice on your plate. 

You’re in mid bite when he talks to you. “It's a fitting size for you." What the hell? 

"Meaning?" You talk to him lowly, not drawing attention from the rest of the table. He shrugs and answers, "Meaning, it's the right size." 

That didn't clear up shit. 

-------

  Since Em has decided to hire new staff and use some of her extra time with music classes, you hang out at her cafe alone. As you sip on your drink and read a book, someone takes a seat in front of you. You perk up and look up at the person. You end up meeting Zenin's cat like eyes. You are still unhappy and uncomfortable with how he acted at lunch a few days ago. 

  "What're you reading?"

"A book." You cross your legs. He sighs like he's dealing with a child rather than an adult who just wants to be left alone. "Did you not like the pizza?"

"Barely remember it since it was basically bite sized." He scratches his ear. "I only did that because Rue said you were insecure and watching your portions. I was just trying to support you."

That never occurred to you. It's not like you hate yourself or think low. You're just trying to watch it. "I'd appreciate it more if you didn't do that." 

He freezes for a second. "Me doing and saying that must've come out wrong. Let me buy your coffee." You shake your head no, denying his request. "It's fine. I already paid."

 “No, no. I’ll get your money back and pay for you. My treat.”

You stare at him blankly. Honestly, you have no idea what the fuck is going on. “I already paid. I don’t want you to.”

  “It’s the proper thing to do.” He lightly grabs your arm, rubbing circles on it. 

You scoff. “I don’t want you to pay. Think of it as a thank you for covering the pizza.” You get up and leave. There is something deep that’s making you flinch as you walk away from him. This dread and anticipation from a predator. 

  “Stop, don’t be dramatic.” You whisper to yourself, shaking away the feeling. There’s nothing to be weary of. This is a colleague, for crying out loud! Not some man in a white van. 

  You don’t tell Em what happened at her cafe since it was nothing to worry about. At least that’s what you tell yourself. Through the night the encounter ran through your mind. For some reason, it’s not leaving.

-------

  Nevertheless, you head on and go to work the next day. 

You enter your office thirty minutes before your time. You flick on the lights and see Naoya sitting in your chair with a coffee in his hand. He gets up and gives you the warm drink. You notice that it’s warm, not hot. 

“What are you doing here?” Figuring that it may not be best to come off as accusatory or aggressive, you ask him with a smooth voice. “Well, with that report coming up, I guessed that you’d show up early,”

   He spots something on you, staring intently at it. Naoya isn’t the most imposing man physically. What he lacks there is replaced in his demeanor and behavior. Naoya touches your face.

  “Women shouldn’t wear so much makeup. It’s unbecoming.”

“What I do is none of your business, Naoya.” His eyes darken ever so slightly then clear up. 

“Just be careful. People might get the wrong impression.” He touches your chin slightly. His eyes move to your lips and wipes them with his thumb. You stop breathing. You want to jerk your head away and fight but God…

 “Enjoy the coffee.”

You can’t stop shaking.

-------

At lunch, you tell your friends what happened. “What?”

“Yeah. The coffee was warm, too.” You tap your foot. 

  Rue smacks her lips. “So what? He thought you liked warm coffee.” She takes another bite of her sub. You rub your temples. “No, I mean he was there for a while. It wasn’t warm like hot but lukewarm. He was there, in my office, in the dark, without my permission. He was waiting for me.”

   The two of them stop eating. Speak of the devil and he’ll appear, the man walks in with a group of his colleagues. You couldn’t help but glare and make an annoyed face. Yuki points it out first. 

  “Honey, if you keep staring at him like that he won’t pay for your coffee anymore.” She says teasingly.

  “I say take advantage of it, personally.” You roll your eyes at Rue and turn to Yuki. “That’s what I’m hoping for.” 

Leo comes up to your table. “What are you three clucking about?” You scoff at the man who seems to never get rid of his smile. “Rude. But to answer your question, (Y/n) over here has some news.”

  Rue, you discover cannot hold water to save her life. Suddenly, he gets serious after she spills. 

“You can take this up with HR. They can take care of this.” You sigh. “Don’t worry, I can handle him.” 

After work, you head home. Nothing’s different or out of place in the routine. The neighbors still wave at you and the dogs still bark. Em isn’t at home, like normal at this time. Everything seems fine. 

  You get out of the car and lock it. Before you can even take the first step, another car pulls up. It’s sleek and black, clearly expensive and well taken care of. Out of the car is Naoya. You can’t hide the shock from your face. 

He followed you home. You didn’t even see him.

He comes stomping towards you with a cup in hand. “I assume you didn’t drink the first, right? Here. Since you’ve acted like a brat all day and need coffee to behave.”

   “This is seriously inappropriate! What are you doing here?” You don’t take the coffee from his hand. “If you don’t take it, I’m not leaving, I swear to God.”

  You take it hesitantly. It’s iced and is slowly melting. “Since you don’t know how to act, I’ll have to teach you. Lucky for you, I’m a forgiving and patient man.”

  He pulls out a folded piece of paper. “Read it. And drink.” He turns around and leaves you and slams his car door.

Dear, 

When I provide, let me. It is not an option to deny a protector his darling and for you, my Summer sweet, to reject what I give.  This letter is for you to know that the innate primal instinct is forever in your name even though you disrespected me. 

Nevertheless, I will be here. Let me show you what a man’s supposed to do a few times. Denying an advance of a beautiful relationship speaks volumes of your pain that I wish to heal. One date at a time, one night at a time. All that is needed is your obedience. 

  “This letter…baby this is a threat. It’s…what’s the word? Crazy? Obsessive? You have to do something about this.”

“Rue said something about his position that worries me. His superior is his father. He’s got me over a barrel.”

“Yeah, he seems like a spoiled ass. What's this about your obedience? A night at a time? The guy’s a pig.” She tosses it on the counter. “This man can’t be reasoned with. He followed you home, broke into your office, followed you to my cafe-this is serious!”

  You know that. You know that this guy is growing scarier. “I can handle it. I’ll tell him to leave me alone.”

“Baby, he asked you out in a threatening letter. Love? Being a provider and protector? This is insane. You have to tell your boss. Go to HR, something.”

“Leo knows of how he’s acting. But he’s out of the loop about Zenin following me home,” You walk through the kitchen for a mug. “Besides, HR is going to think we were together! They won’t believe me. Not when he’s sitting in a fancy chair that daddy gave him. I’ll handle this.”

"Why would HR think you're together?" She puts her hands on her hips. "Because it's a romantic poem-"

"There is not a damn thing romantic in this trash. At all." She rubs her face. “What’re going to do? All you did was not drink a coffee and he followed you home and wrote a threatening letter. This is serious!”

You pour a cup of coffee, not even wishing for the one Zenin gave you. “I can do this. Trust me.”

--------

At lunch, you tell your friends what happened. “What?”

“Yeah. The coffee was warm, too.” You tap your foot. 

  Rue smacks her lips. “So what? He thought you liked warm coffee.” She takes another bite of her sub. You rub your temples. “No, I mean he was there for a while. It wasn’t warm like hot but lukewarm. He was there, in my office, in the dark, without my permission. He was waiting for me.”

   The two of them stop eating. Speak of the devil and he’ll appear, the man walks in with a group of his colleagues. You couldn’t help but glare and make an annoyed face. Yuki points it out first. 

  “Honey, if you keep staring at him like that he won’t pay for your coffee anymore.” She says teasingly.

  “I say take advantage of it, personally.” You roll your eyes at Rue and turn to Yuki. “That’s what I’m hoping for.” 

Leo comes up to your table. “What are you three clucking about?” You scoff at the man who seems to never get rid of his smile. “Rude. But to answer your question, (Y/n) over here has some news.”

  Rue, you discover cannot hold water to save her life. Suddenly, he gets serious after she spills. 

“You can take this up with HR. They can take care of this.” You sigh. “Don’t worry, I can handle him.” 

After work, you head home. Nothing’s different or out of place in the routine. The neighbors still wave at you and the dogs still bark. Em isn’t at home, like normal at this time. Everything seems fine. 

  You get out of the car and lock it. Before you can even take the first step, another car pulls up. It’s sleek and black, clearly expensive and well taken care of. Out of the car is Naoya. You can’t hide the shock from your face. 

He followed you home. You didn’t even see him.

He comes stomping towards you with a cup in hand. “I assume you didn’t drink the first, right? Here. Since you’ve acted like a brat all day and need coffee to behave.”

   “This is seriously inappropriate! What are you doing here?” You don’t take the coffee from his hand. “If you don’t take it, I’m not leaving, I swear to God.”

  You take it hesitantly. It’s iced and is slowly melting. “Since you don’t know how to act, I’ll have to teach you. Lucky for you, I’m a forgiving and patient man.”

  He pulls out a folded piece of paper. “Read it. And drink.” He turns around and leaves you and slams his car door.

Dear, 

When I provide, let me. It is not an option to deny a protector his darling and for you, my Summer sweet, to reject what I give.  This letter is for you to know that the innate primal instinct is forever in your name even though you disrespected me. 

Nevertheless, I will be here. Let me show you what a man’s supposed to do a few times. Denying an advance of a beautiful relationship speaks volumes of your pain that I wish to heal. One date at a time, one night at a time. All that is needed is your obedience. 

  “This letter…baby this is a threat. It’s…what’s the word? Crazy? Obsessive? You have to do something about this.”

“Rue said something about his position that worries me. His superior is his father. He’s got me over a barrel.”

“Yeah, he seems like a spoiled ass. What's this about your obedience? A night at a time? The guy’s a pig.” She tosses it on the counter. “This man can’t be reasoned with. He followed you home, broke into your office, followed you to my cafe-this is serious!”

  You know that. You know that this guy is growing scarier. “I can handle it. I’ll tell him to leave me alone.”

“Baby, he asked you out in a threatening letter. Love? Being a provider and protector? This is insane. You have to tell your boss. Go to HR, something.”

“Leo knows of how he’s acting. But he’s out of the loop about Zenin following me home,” You walk through the kitchen for a mug. “Besides, HR is going to think we were together! They won’t believe me. Not when he’s sitting in a fancy chair that daddy gave him. I’ll handle this.”

"Why would HR think you're together?" She puts her hands on her hips. "Because it's a romantic poem-"

"There is not a damn thing romantic in this trash. At all." She rubs her face. “What’re going to do? All you did was not drink a coffee and he followed you home and wrote a threatening letter. This is serious!”

You pour a cup of coffee, not even wishing for the one Zenin gave you. “I can do this. Trust me.”

--------

At work, you avoid him like the plague. You even go as far as to change your schedule, much to your friends' dismay. Anytime he was conveniently on your floor for some fake ass reason, you leave. This behavior is becoming suspicious to your friends. They know of how he acted towards you but not to the extent that it has gotten. 

  Hopefully, he’ll stop coming towards you. He’ll stop breaking into your office and leaving coffees. If this continues on, you will go to HR. 

  You park your car and head inside the shabby little building. The lights flicker outside, fighting the dark. Its bold red print on the sign is fading and the parking lot only has a few cars. It is a writer’s class that you found with an excellent and self published writer for a teacher. All of your peers eagerly wait for her to come in. 

“Hey! Did you get something down?” You ask Ren. His thick hair gets in his face before he moves it. His dark eyes trail to find yours and have a sparkle of excitement in them.  

“A chapter! Like, a whole chapter. I couldn’t believe it.” You gasp and pat him on the back. “Getting out of your slump! I can’t wait to read it.”

  Suddenly, the door opens and reveals a devil. Naoya Zenin waltz’s through in his casual clothing. The teacher introduces him to the class. You are the only one that doesn’t welcome him, earning a curious look from Ren. The teacher goes on and asks for anyone to present. Zenin stands up with his catlike eyes gleaming and a smirk on his face. This can’t be good. 

  He clears his throat. “My dearest dream weaver, my heart’s sake divine. I’ve wondered about these streets for years, hoping for a moment of clarity from you. Alas, there isn't a thing to make you go away. Did you know this when you saw me, you with a beautiful face?

 You, my nightmare who keeps me up, a ghost of a heavenly past. I gave you words of my declaration yet you turn away from me. The turn of your face and hidden eyes aren’t what’s terrible in my mind. It is the question of what’ll happen after.”

The class is silent until the teacher praises his poem. He stares into your soul, a cold wash scaring you. After class, you get up and practically run outside. “Hey, let me drive you home!” 

“No!” You shout at Zenin. You need to get out of here. To run into your home and hide. “Don’t be difficult!” 

You drop your keys on the pavement right as you try to put them into the slot. Your hands shake.  “Shit, fuck!” 

“I just want to talk!” 

You hear a car and see bright lights. No one drives a fancy car like that except for him. 

“Please, please…” You get inside and lock the doors. Wasting no time that God has given you, you drive like a bat out of hell. 

  “I need to go…” You come to the decision. 

--------

 You tap your foot, nervous about this meeting.

“What are you talking about? Naoya Zenin is the son of Naobito Zenin. It is said that out of his brothers, he'll be the one to inherit,” HR is an older woman with pristine white hair in a bun. Her lipstick is a bit dry but otherwise impeccable. Her voice is so proper it makes you want to take classes to clean yours up. "This is not some run of the mill employee. What happened?"

  “He’s followed me home twice that I know of, to my writer’s class, given me coffee and letters. He even read one in the class.”

  “Perhaps you misunderstood the writer’s class letter. It could’ve been his genuine assignment.” She sits in her chair and gestures for you to follow. You sigh as you sit down. “No, it was his first time. He couldn’t have known about any assignments. Ma’am, please. He stares at me while I’m working and hovers through the entire floor until he finds me. I’ve even had to change my schedule to avoid him.”

  She brings out a paper, a form for her to fill out. You begin to smile when you see that. “Did you have a prior relationship?” 

“No, no. I don’t know him.”

“Spend time outside of work at any point?”

“His first day, I think?” She writes in perfect writing. “But everyone went. Actually, Rue and Yuki were with me at the time. We were already there when he and Leo showed up. He paid for the meal, but that’s it.”

  Her eyes don’t look right to you. You smile anyway. Once she moves her eyes from the paper to you, a perfectly trimmed eyebrow raises up. “Do you always smile like that?”

  Your face drops at the question and your heart aches when she writes it down. 

You cry in the bathroom. Seeing your makeup smudging, you desperately try to save it at the same time. 

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” Yuki comes in. Looking at her concerned face, tears start to shed again, relentlessly trailing down your face. Without hesitation, you spill everything. You don’t have the letters with you at the moment, but you insist on the legitimacy.

“I believe you.” You throw your arms around her neck and hug her. Her vanilla scent has always been fragrant and sweet. Yet never has it been sweeter and more welcomed than now. 

  “Come on, let’s go out to lunch. How about your friend’s cafe? She makes excellent muffins.” You chuckle and wipe your tears. “How can you think of food at a time like this?”

“Easy,” She looks you over, inspecting your state. “Oh honey, you’re a mess. No way am I going there with you.”

  “The hell?” You look into the bathroom mirror and see what she means. Your mascara is running, foundation is suffering and various other things. You laugh as you side eye her. 

  “Come on, let’s fix you up.” 

You bring out the only touch up makeup you have in your purse and do the best you can. 

At the cafe, you see Em and wave. She hurries to you and Yuki. “Is everything okay? Is it the creep again?” She rubs your back gently. 

“We’re just hungry and here for a ‘pick me up’.” Yuki smiles. Em pats her chest. “I was about to say. That creep is a menace. Do you know?”

“Yeah, she told us that he was in her office. I just now found out about the legit stalking when I found her in the bathroom. I knew he was being weird, but this is crazy.”

Em nods and turns to a barista with bright blue eyeshadow and full lips. “I need muffins, coffee, chamomile tea, cookies-”

“That’s not necessary, Em.” You touch her hand to get her to stop since she is still going. After she’s finished, she sits down and asks you, “So what happened? Why were you crying?”

Yuki nods and thanks the barista who sees your red, puffy eyes and gives you a sympathetic smile. You take a sip of your coffee and then clear your throat. The thought of the meeting that you just had makes your lip wobble. 

“Apparently, I smile too much.”

---

The next day you attend work, the elevator door opens to a bouncing Leo. “You’ll never believe the news I have for you.”

  You step out and walk alongside him, passing your colleagues and unattended Dahlia plant on a random desk. The receptionist on the floor scrambles to his phone and answers it with a professional, yet tired, tone. It matches Rue’s perfectly. 

  “What’s the news?” 

“You’re up for the promotion.” You halt and gasp. “Me? Are you serious?”

“Dead. Come with me.” You follow him earnestly with questions on your tongue. “Why? There are people who’ve been here a lot longer. Surely, there are people who are better.”

You knew that you were talked about, but for you to be put in front of the line is crazy. He opens the door for you to enter his office. “Enough with the questions. Listen, this is a prime opportunity and you are way better than you give yourself credit for.”

You sit down on one of his chairs. “Leo, I’m serious. There must be a mistake.”

“Nope!” He sits behind his desk. And turns his pencil holder twice. 

“Who would take that risk? Yes, I work hard. Yes, I am driven. But I’m not experienced enough. I knew it was possible for me and I’m excited! But for me to be actually getting it?” You bounce your stocking covered leg. “Something’s wrong. What is it?”

  Leo turns his pencil holder again. “It’s a promotion with numerous benefits. Higher pay, a better office-”

You interrupt. “Who’s taking that risk, Leo.” Your suspicion is growing. Not just because of the proposition, but the way he turns his clay pencil holder with his daughter’s sunflower painting on it. The way he avoids the answer and has a wide smile on his face that is now looking forced. 

“A promotion is a promotion…right?” He sounds so unsure, almost as if he’s asking you for the answer and permission. The answer to this riddle is right there. A name and a face deep in your gut. “Zenin?”

  Leo and the whole office knows about him now. It was Yuki’s form of being petty. No one has said anything to him or the higher ups, though. “Yes.”

  “Leo! No, no I won’t accept something he has to offer. If I get promoted it will be fair and square.”

“I know it’s not ideal, but the rest agreed on you. Even though he brought you up, it was unanimous.”

  You shake your head, now completely disgusted. “Leo, I won’t. I’ll never owe him a damn thing.”

  Leo stands up. “I’m with you then, kid.”

------

You go to H.R. again. “Ma’am, look into it again. He’s now getting in the way of my job.”

She scoffs and takes a deep breath. “This promotion-”

“Isn’t right. I take pride in my work, absolutely so. What Zenin is doing isn’t fair to anyone. If I get a promotion, it’ll be on my terms. I won’t win unfairly. I won’t let him bypass all the others that deserve a chance at getting this position.”

   She studies you and your conviction. “I will never owe him a thing. Here are his letters,” You slam them down on her desk. The thick wad of paper slaps against it, showing just how bad it has gotten. “And these aren’t even the ones he’s written in my class.”

  She licks her lips. “I know this is odd. But men in his position are a bit eccentric anyway as far as I can-”

You interrupt her. “I also wrote down all of the witnesses including those on my floor. He walks through it and stares at me, following me. Tries to make conversation even when I say no. He’ll touch me in harmless ways that have more meaning than they look. He’ll break into my office! Lord only knows what sensitive information he’s touched."

  You put your hands on her desk. "Ma’am, I’m unrelenting on this. He’s still following me home. You have to do something.”

She nods subtly. “I can suggest counseling to the higher ups and show how this has become. I cannot guarantee what’ll happen.”

   It’s better than nothing. “What if they say he has to go and he doesn’t? He has a high position, also.”

 “Yes, he does. But a unanimous decision trumps him anyway. May I keep these?” You say yes and push the letters to her. “And if there are any photos, emails, phone calls, anything, give them to me.”

---

 When coming home, you decided not to go to your writer’s class. You haven’t dropped out, though. Breaks are good. They’re exceptional even. Perfect for mental health. This is the lightest you’ve felt in a while. Things were being taken seriously and the ball is rolling. You exit the car and are met with a furious Zenin, who comes from behind your home. 

“How dare you. How dare you!” He stomps over to you. His hair is still in place and his suit is still pressed. “I hand you the answer to your prayers and you bite.”

“I’m not taking that promotion, Zenin. I want to get it fairly, without help.” 

“Naoya. Call me Naoya.” There's a lilt in his voice. He stands perfectly straight and unbothered. He takes a deep breath. “Perhaps you didn’t understand me to begin with. (Y/n),” His voice is back to a serious tone. Zenin clasps your hands gently and stares into your eyes with sincerity. “Our relationship is simple. You are my woman; all I require is your obedience.” 

He caresses your cheek. You can’t breathe. 

“No.” Is all you can muster. You run inside to find the door unlocked and Em sitting in the living room. Quickly, you lock it securely. “Is the back door unlocked?”

“What?” She props herself up. “Is it unlocked?!”

“Don’t yell at me!” She drops her magazine on the coffee table. Your breath is ragged, too scared to work properly. Em makes her way to you and is gentle. “Everything’s locked up. Why? What’s wrong?”

“He’s out there. He thinks we’re together. It’s not a crush. He genuinely believes we’re in love.”

  Em peeks out the window and sees him in his car, clenching his cellphone. The home phone that Em insists on keeping, rings. She answers it, not bothering to look at the ID. Suddenly, a wicked voice speaks through. 

“Put her on the fucking phone now!” 

“How the fuck did you get this number?” Em is way calmer than you. Way, way, calmer. “Put her on-”

“No!” She hangs up. The black corded phone rings again and again. “I can’t stay here, Em.”

“I’m going with you. No arguments.”

The two of you quickly found a new apartment with new numbers. Even the cafe’s number changed. The apartment isn’t the best. It’s a cheap one with bad neighbors and a shady landlord. All of it is temporary and honestly, you feel safer here. What you feel bad about is Em’s house. She still owns it and is trying to find new renters or if it comes down to it, buyers.

-----

 It has been days, weeks, since you have had to be subjected by Naoya’s presence. Although the first day was refreshing, you can’t help but wonder if this growing anxiety is from his absence or from impending doom.

  “Okay, you guys. I’m going to the bathroom. Be right back.” 

Your friends, Em, Rue, and Yuki sit at a little round table waiting for the loaded nachos appetizer. You head to the bathroom and dodge the plenty of people in the popular bar. The smell of cigarette smoke and cold beer is slight. The dim lights still work and help you find your way. 

   Finally in the bathroom, you touch up your makeup. Not just for yourself but for a man at a table who has been eyeing you since you came in. Strange thick white hair, sparkling blue eyes, and perfectly sized lips. His long fingers gripped the beer glass, completely wrapped around it. How his round eyes peered over the glass just to look at you made your face incredibly warm. 

  It has been a while.

You finish swiping your lipstick when a loud bang shocks you. A furious Zenin charges towards you. His eyes are bolder and eyebrows so furrowed that you could swear they’d stay there. He is growing redder by the second and his hands twitch with anticipation. 

  “What did you do? How could you?”

“I need to go-” You try to brush past him. 

“Don’t take another fucking step, I swear to God.” He comes a little closer. “How could you? Lie about me to the office and my colleagues? Force me into counseling to talk to a quack about our relationship? After all I’ve done to show my love, this is how you act. You embarrass me?”

  “I never wanted to embarrass you. I just want you to leave me alo-” He smashes the mirror with his bare hands and yet has no scratches. You shriek when the impact occurs, your instincts realizing that you may die here. That he really is a man on the edge.

  “Is everything okay?” A woman with dull red hair and bright green eyes enters. She looks at the two of you curiously and gasps at the mirror. 

  “Get out!” He screams at her. She screams and takes off. “Help me, please!” You yell before the door closes. You pray she heard you in time. To get some kind of help or to at least come back to save you. 

   “How far do I have to go? For you to remember our love? To accept it and how much of a man I am? Why do I even have to prove it?!”

“You don’t have to prove anything! We are not in love!”  He backs away slowly. “Don’t make me lose my temper. Do not push me there. Take the promotion, work with me. I have to keep you on a leash since you won't behave on your own. Your rightful place is by my side, (Y/n). As your fiancé, I demand it.”

  “I’ll go to the police, Zenin. I swear I will.” Tears stream down your face. You slowly back away. He opens the door. “If you do, I’ll show you what I’m capable of, God have mercy on you and me.”

When the door closes quietly, you faint, hitting the pink tile. 

--

 You walk to HR with the red haired woman’s number and statement in your hand. Along with it is the manager’s, and multiple people who heard your cry and saw you being carried out unconscious by the white haired man. 

   “Here. You wanted evidence. All of these people are witnesses on how far he will go. He trapped me in the bathroom, threatened me, broke property and-and-” Air is being slowly taken from you as you try to talk. A clenching feeling in your chest threatens to burst. 

   “This. I’ve had to move, change my number, I can’t go back to my writer’s class without him being there, convincing everyone that the letters are from his love rather than his psychosis.”

  Her eyes become wider by the second as she reads everything. “I encourage you to get a personal restraining order. I’ll bring this to the higher ups but I cannot guarantee a company one. He has already been told to stay away from you unless necessary.”

You shake your head as tears fall. “I can’t. He’s threatened-”

“That matter is up to you. I will go by company protocol. This alone will not be enough, (Y/n).”

---

“What are you saying? Do you know who I am?” Zenin bounces his leg slightly, determined to not show that this is getting to him. The bright room with several elders at the rectangular table stare at him. Not a single thing in this is comforting. 

“You do understand how serious this is, don’t you? Phone calls, stalking-”

“We’re in a relationship. We have been since we were kids. Our parents arranged our betrothal. I’m merely acting as a man should with his future wife.”

  “No, no that’s not how it goes, Naoya.” A woman sits straighter, observing his behavior, catching every little thing. Naoya taps his fingers on the wooden table. “That’s the proper way a married couple acts. This isn’t stalking, this is making sure she stays in line.”

  “She isn’t some fiance of yours. She’s an employee. Our employee.” A man with greying hair gestures between the higher ups. Naoya sits straighter. “Am I not a part of that?”

   “Depends.” The woman states. He can’t help but glare at the woman. “As a shareholder, a man of the future position of CEO,”

“This will halt that, Naoya. That’s what we’re telling you.” 

  The world stops. He can only hear the faint buzzing noise. “Are you taking this company, my inheritance, away from me?” He’s burning hot. 

“We want you to stay, Naoya. But this behavior has to stop. This is serious.”

Naoya stiffens then with the calmest tone says, “I have weapons like you wouldn’t believe. If I lose my job, my heritance, because of my woman’s dramatization, I’ll end it. Not just me but everyone.”

  “Are you saying, if you lost your job, you’ll kill us?” The woman stiffens. “Everyone. I am Naoya Zenin, a man who will not be rejected.” The air is sucked out of the room. 

----

 “Naoya Zenin has been fired.” HR comes to you personally. “I want you to take a couple of days away. Not just to your home, but elsewhere. Just for a few days.” 

“What’s happening?” Leo asks. He stands next to you, curious and cautious. 

“It’s been handled. (Y/n), this is not our problem anymore. The ball is in your court.”

  You stand up, smoothing your pencil skirt. “Thank you.”

“For your safety, I suggest a restraining order immediately.” She leaves. Leo looks at you with a frown on his face. "What the fuck happened?" You shrug, not wanting to know the answer. 

  “Mother?” She’s the first thing you see when the door opens with a suitcase in your hand and a forced smile on your face. “What’re doing here, child?”

“I just need to sleep here for a few days. Is that okay?” You didn't want to bring Em, Rue, and Yuki into this. You thought it was best to leave the apartment for a bit, so it didn't disturb anything. 

“No. Not after all of this,” She closes the door and steps onto the porch. “Why now? After your independence.” 

She crosses her arms and looks at you condescendingly. You want to scream. “A man at my job is stalking me. He just got fired because of it and they suggested I hide.”

“What?” She uncrosses her arms and gently touches your arm. “It was one of my bosses. He’s completely delusional.��

  “W-well, who is he?”

“Naoya Zenin? You probably never heard of him. He was a big shot at the company but he assaulted me-”

“Child, who did you say?” You repeat his name that tasted foul on your tongue. “Why would you do this? He was almost-”

“What? You know him?”

   “You do too. Then again, it has been a long time. Back then, he was smitten with you and we tried to set the two of you up. Never did I think he’d go this far. Especially when it was denied. Both of you went your separate ways.”

  Your mouth falls as you process her information. “Mom…this can’t be. I don’t remember him at all. Did he know of your plans?”

“Yes, he did. His father was joking about it. Nothing was to come of it.”

You drop your suitcase. Is this why? He deluded himself or possibly love you in a psychotic yet childish way? “What do I do now?” You whisper, totally flabbergasted that he remembered you and held onto this. Something that was to never be. “Ha, actually, you’re the one who rejected him-”

“Mom! What do I do?” Her lips go to a thin line, contemplating your problem. She looks up at you with an intense stare. “Get a restraining order. It was a bad idea to do all of this but now you have no choice.”

The way she put it stings but the answer to the problem is a restraining order. It’s exactly what you did. Called a lawyer and got a temporary restraining order until trial.

--

 It goes downhill from there. 

The trial is set for this week, which you prayed that the day would come soon. Only for it to be met with gunshots. The first floor is the first to meet him. You hear them clearly while in your office. The window looks great to jump out of right about now. Before you can think anymore, Naoya bursts the door open with a bang. You stand up, terrified of not only the gun but how blank his expression is. Like this isn’t fazing him in the slightest. 

There's no air in the room just pressure. Time is frozen as the two of you have a stare off. A buzzing noise comes from the broken lights in the hallway, the metallic scent of blood is too much. There are red splotches on his clothes and on the large gun. He carries more on him, more disgusting violence and stupidity. 

  “Naoya, no!” You grip the edge of your desk, hurting your finger. Perhaps the pain from it will wake you up from this nightmare.

“As my wife you should’ve known better. A restraining order? Against your husband!”

“I didn’t remember-”

He curses at you and fires a shot. Your body topples back from the impact. He stares at your unconscious figure, then goes to leave. "I know you're not dead yet. You better live because I'm not through with you." 

  When you awake, the shots are still firing. Screams are still heard, and the nightmare continues. “No, no, God, please…”

  Your upper arm was hit, the bullet clean through. The blood is all over your shirt and even on your bottoms. You take your jacket off and press it onto your wound. Shakily, you stand up and slowly walk out. Reo, the receptionist on your floor, is the first you see. Slumped over his desk with a phone in his hand. The red dahlia plant is shattered.

  Next, are two colleagues who worked at the other side of the floor, shot in the back. You quickly walk away, doing it as quietly as you can. 

  With every popping sound you flinch harder and harder. The phone on someone’s desk is untouched with blood or a dead hand. You pick it up and call for the police, somebody, anybody. “My name is-”

A smooth and stern voice interrupts. “This line is for-”

“Please, please save us. I’ve been shot.” You whimper. His tone changes to one of complete sympathy. “We can’t storm in right now. Just sit tight and hide. Where are you? What’s your name?”

  You tell him what he wants to know. “He’s on the third floor I think? I can still hear him.” 

   “Thank you so much. Now, (Y/n), you have to hide. Put pressure on the wound and hide.”

“I’m doing that already. Please get me out of here-” You hear another shot that is closer. You duck behind a barrier, hearing the devil enter. The phone rings and Zenin answers with annoyance in his voice. “Before you say anything, you need to know that this is all because of her. My wife.”

“Who?”

“(Y/n) Zenin. Had she just listened, accepted me as her husband and a man, we wouldn’t be here. It’d never have come to this. This is all her fault.”

  You silently cry at the truth. It is true right? Maybe if you just caved and went to him, accepted his love and left everyone out of this, they’d be alive today. “I will blow this building to hell if you don’t back off.”

Not bearing to hear it anymore, you crawl out the best you can. Worried for your friends, for everyone. "She's missing. I think she's walking around or escaped. If you see her, tell her I'm coming for her."

  You hit the stairs as quietly as you can. He’s still ranting about you to the policeman. Hopefully the love of his own voice overpowers the sound of your footsteps. You see the sign for the lobby and push the doors open to it. Glass is everywhere in the lobby and blood coats the walls. To your right is Rue, laying on the floor with her eyes open in horror. Her red lipstick matches the blood on her chest. You touch her face with an apology on your tongue. 

   “Forgive me, forgive me…” You leave her and exit this hell you created. You pray that everyone else escapes it. You pray that time rewinds and you alone are punished with this. For Rue, for everyone.

   The ambulance hauls you in. The corner of your eye Yuki stands with an officer, desperately hanging onto him, crying. You’re on the bus before you can apologize. 

 It takes hours of surgery to fix your arm. You’re ordered to stay for a little while. The small white room smells of bleach and cleaner. You can't close your eyes, or you will see Zenin, standing at the door waiting for you. It changes every time you blink. He'll have a gun and another he'll be completely unarmed and leaning on the door frame, smirking. You can't get rid of his image. 

In the room comes Em and surprisingly, Yuki. Right as you see them, you beg for forgiveness and your apologies fill the room. You look Yuki in the eyes and are reminded of Rue’s death. Her bloodied corpse and horrified face will stick with you forever. 

 “Enough!” Yuki yells. She sports a cut on her eyebrow but otherwise looks alright if you don't count the slight shaking. “It’s over. All done.”

“He’s not out there anymore. He can’t hurt you.” Em says sweetly. She comes to your side and holds your trembling hand. Her warmth tries to bring you a comfort that you reject. “It’s all my fault. All of it. Every single-”

“No! This is on him and him alone. You have the right to say no. You did what you had to. It’s no one’s fault but his.”

  “Yuki…” You can’t finish your sentence, choking up. Yuki’s eyes are watering. “We’ll survive this. He won’t win.”

“Ever.” Em affirms. Yuki grabs your hand, too. The guilt will always be there. But his hold will fade away one day at a time, and every time you will spit on his grave.

[zenithsky]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: พิษเบ๊บ | Pit Babe (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Kenta/Kim (Pit Babe) Characters: Kenta (Pit Babe), Kim (Pit Babe), Tony (Pit Babe), (mentioned) Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Graphic Violence, its explained but not very descriptive, Tony's A+ Parenting, Guard Dog Kenta, Dehumanization, Collars, Objectification, as in Kenta objectifies himself, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Tony is maybe the worst person on the planet, Post-Canon, s1 but, Not Canon Compliant, for s2 and in many elements also not s1, Emotional Hurt, the comfort is very minor, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Ambiguous/Open Ending, i want to wrap kenta in a blanket but instead i hurt him, Ownership, NO BETA WE DIE LIKE TONY, everything i write is a challenge to see through how much i can put kenta before he fully breaks Series: Part 11 of pit babes Summary: To Tony, Kenta was never more than a pet, an object to be owned. To Kenta, his only role is to do well for Tony. Even if he gets hurt in the process. So, when Kenta kills Tony, his entire world crumbles in more ways than he thought possible.

[luckypies]

Welp.... might as well start posting my twiter threads over here and see if tumblr will keep em up lol

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Uh hey heavy tw for this thread for rape, abuse, suicide mentions, Dreammare, and the like so if that's not your cup of tea please scroll on!!!! Keep urself safe and happy scrolling!!!

With that being said ehem welcome to my insanity rambles!

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Mmmmmm I can't get the thought of Nightmare being Dreams special toy for all the multiverse to see out of my head!!!! Just the once mighty king being nothing but his younger brothers breeding bitch, maybe once a lifetime or two ago he would've loved something like this for himself, but now??? And under these circumstances??? He absolutely despises it and wishes his brother would finally kill him like he threatens to do oh so often whenever he misbehaves. (This was on discord so sorry for the sudden jump lol)

Ok ok ummm well Nightmare not being fully subservient to Dream right??? And well, we can't have that! So to coax Night into being a better behaved sex toy Dream let's him visit someone of his choosing (with heavy supervision from all of the Stars of fucking corse) for a day. Oops did he say a day??? He meant a couple of hours, and hmm you've been good nighty??? Well not good enough remember when you were crying when I was trying to record a video of your fat pussy right??? No visits for you! Aka the goalpost gets moved farther and farther away isolating Night with nothing but his brother and his thoughts! Every time that Night feels waves upon waves of anything negative Dream punishes him severely too. Which makes him be even more negative, and the cycle continues until either Dream gets bored or Nightmare passes out from the pain. It's.... hard to tell which happens more often nowadays...it's hard to even think in general. Void knows only how long it's been since he's been forced into a hell worse than his childhood... it's so bad he almost craves the horrible abuse of the villagers, at least then he had his brother, his other half, and dare he even think of this monster once being a soulmate he truly longed for. Now he's forced into skimpy outfits that cover next to nothing as he's taken advantage of left and right day and night by anyone brave enough, or trusted enough, to go against Dream and touch what is his. The worst part is that he's given up trying to escape, and oh how Dream revels in that fact that Night is just *that* much more under his control than before. Nightmare half wishes he'd have the strength to try to escape again because maybe this time he'd either somehow succeed, or Dream will slip up and he'll finally taste the sweet victory of death

As much as I adore fluff and making Dream the happy go lucky guardian that the deserves to be, there's just something so alleviating about writing shit like this idk. One day I'll go absolutely insane with fluffy Dream ideas, but for now eat up my lovely cum drops!!!

[isolarya]

the grief and the glory

summary:

With the promise of his inevitable end hanging over his head, Scott means to leave this world without fanfare, peaceful and quiet and most importantly, alone. What he doesn’t mean to do is turn up on Jimmy’s doorstep for the exact purpose of not being alone, and he certainly doesn’t mean to fall in love all over again.

But what’s done is done, and he’ll learn to navigate this uncertain new future. He has to.

His clock is ticking down.

~~~

(or: scott knows he isn’t going to survive. he’s going to make the best of what he has left.)

it’s finally here!! i am so, so proud to present to you the fruit of my labour and my longest fic yet! i’ve been working on this since june of 2023 for the HSBB and i am incredibly excited to post it. i hope you’ll enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! <3

[vulturevanity]

A Father's Purpose

Someone asks Martin if he actually cares about his daughters. He laughs at the joke he thinks they made.

Alternative version and thoughts under the Read More (please read the content warnings in the tags before clicking through!)

Epithet: ☆Dumb☆

Martin Blyndeff is a carefree man.

Despite his uncomplicated character, I have plenty of thoughts on Worst Dad and his impact on his daughters -- particularly Lorelai, but she isn't the focus on this piece and I'll talk about her another day.

I think what gets me about Martin and Molly is how efficient he is at shutting her down. Whether or not he's aware of what he's doing (it doesn't matter), it's really telling how smoothly he's able to do it. In the Museum Arc, he unloads another night shift onto her, rapid-fires excuses for why she has to take the night shift, takes credit for the school worksheet which she filled out, then changes subjects so she'll drop it. And he does it often enough that Lorelai has caught on to it, to the point that the first thing she does in the book is use his name to shut Molly down too. No matter what, if it's up to Martin, then Molly will have to shut up and deal.

I wonder how much of this DARVO-adjacent behaviour is a result of losing Calliope, if at all. I mean, I really, REALLY can't see how someone like Calliope would've fallen for Martin as he is today; we know he's always been the personification of the word "carefree" and Callie was an anxious workaholic mess, but honestly the Martin we see would probably just constantly stress her out even more (which he did sometimes). He was already rather senseless back then, but I can't help but think having Calliope to take on every burden for him for over 15 years and then losing her so suddenly must have exarcebated the learned helplessness. And since Molly was the one who took over, he just went "well I guess it's her job now", dusted off and went right back to his little world of toys and blissful obliviousness.

And speaking of Molly. She was suffering so much in that house, and yes, there have been plenty of walls of text about the verbal and emotional abuse she suffered from Lorelai, but I feel like we don't talk enough about Martin's complete dismissal of her feelings, thoughts and protests, and how deeply that affected her. He was the one who taught her no one would listen to her. He was he reference point Lorelai used to take advantage of her. He parentified Molly and made her bear the brunt of their financial troubles. And he did it all with a genuine smile across his face.

Martin Blyndeff sucks and I think we should talk about him more.

[youkissedareaderinthedark]

Coraline

Synopsis: Y/n’s childhood and history with her parents has always stayed a secret, and she likes it that way. Until a journalist reveals the truth, and everything seems to come crashing down at once.

young female driver reader x 2023 F1 grid

A/N: a few things for this fic: reader will be 20 years old, had driven for alpha tauri since the beginning of 2022, the 2022 is the same as the 2023 grid, and please look at the trigger warning below.

Trigger Warning: This fic contains abusive parents, talks of eating disorders, neglecting a kid, verbally abusing a kid, signs of depression, and a lot of hurtful comments in general. This fic is not meant to idolize or romanticize having abusive parents or depression. If anyone finds anything particularly disturbing with this fic, do not hesitate to let me know and I will fix it.

tagged: @treehouse-mouse

2023 was supposed to be a good season for Alpha Tauri. The cars looked good, your driver pairing was solid, and the hopes were high for your junior Red Bull team. You could only laugh at the naivety of it now.

Most of the season was exceptional; you and Yuki Tsunoda brought in points almost every weekend, your team was seventh in the constructors championship, and overall, you were having a great time traveling around the world.

This was your second year in Formula 1, and now that you weren’t a rookie anymore, you could have more fun now that you knew what you were doing.

Some people just don’t like others being happy, though.

With less than 10 races left, you walked into the paddock for the Monza Grand Prix Thursday afternoon feeling optimistic. This was the second race after the summer break, and Alpha Tauri was expected to do well in Italy.

Your press officer, Ally, greeted you in your garage, and after saying hello to Yuki, you followed her out of the garage and into the media pen for a press conference.

You walk in to see Lewis, Carlos, Lando, and Fernando and talked quietly with them as the press in front of you get settled. “Everybody ready? All right, first question please” One of the directors asks, as a journalists speaks up.

“Lewis, you’ve witnessed the infamous ‘Monza Curse’ multiple times in your career, do you think the theory is true and will it strike again this year?”

“Um, no” Lewis chuckles. “I don’t believe in the curse, but it would be nice to see someone new finish first today, and if a curse is what it’s going to take, then yeah, why not”

The five of you laugh, not noticing the second journalist beginning to speak. “Y/n, what do you have to say about the recent article published regarding your past with your family?”

You instantly stop laughing, hoping you misheard the man.

“Sorry?”

There’s no way

“The article? That was recently published concerning your past with your parents, what do you have to say about it?” The journalist stared at you curiously while your mind blanked for an answer.

You had no idea what article he was talking about, but if it concerned your past with your ‘family’, you knew it wasn’t anything that should be published.

Suddenly there’s movement in the midst of the media pen, and your press officer emerges from the crowd. “Y/n, come with me” She pauses, seeing one of the directors nearing out of the corner of her eye.

“It’s urgent, I need her” You’d take any excuse to get away from the current situation, so after exchanging a look with Lewis, you follow the woman into the paddock towards your garage.

Once you were both in the safety of your drivers room, you turned on her. “What article is he talking about? What’s going on?” You said, voice heavy with concern.

Ally hesitated, looking uncomfortable, before answering. “This morning, an article published a story talking about you and your parents, and the-um, harsh history you have with them” She hands you her phone, said article already open.

“I think it’s better if you read it yourself” The bold letters blink up at you, clear and sullen.

“F1 DRIVERS UNCOVERED: THE REAL REASON WE DON’T SEE Y/N L/N’S PARENTS”

Your heart falls to your stomach and your hands start to shake as your eyes skim over the words of the most invading and overwhelming article you’ve ever read in your life. Whoever wrote this, wrote it in hopes of exposing every secret of your past, and further tangles the truth of an already over-complicated background.

The real reason your parents are never around you is a reason you hate talking about.

You first realized it when you were around ten years old, the way your parents never looked happy around each other, and always tense around other parents. The way they never said ‘I love you’ or kissed each other goodbye. It confused you, as these were the things you always saw your friend’s parents do, but you were too young to understand at the time, so you mainly ignored it.

It wasn’t until one night when you were eleven that you heard an argument erupting from your kitchen, one about money and divorces and you. The shouting continued for ages, until you heard one statement, loud and clear.

“Think about this, she’s getting good in those karting competitions of hers, and according to other parents she could go really far in this thing and get money from sponsorships and mentors. So let’s just give it a little time, make sure she gets better and gets paid, and the money will go to us and eventually she’ll leave to Formula- whatever and we won’t have to worry about her”

You put your pillow over your head, turned around, and went to sleep sobbing that night.

From then on, there was no ‘I love you’s’ or kisses goodbye even to you, and eventually, no happiness in your house. The ‘other parents’ were right, the older you got, the farther you looked to go in racing. Just before you turned 13, the three of you moved to a city in England so you could pursue karting further, and that’s when it all got worse.

You competed in countless competitions, and every race you won, the more criticism you got from your mom and dad. The second you stepped off the 1st place podium, your parents were waiting to comment on your driving and the techniques you should’ve used to win.

They never let you focus on anything but karting, letting you go nowhere but the track and to school, and made sure you were always looking for ways to get better. They ruthlessly compared you to kids in other series that were performing better than you, and countered every compliment someone gave you with a complaint.

All of this seemed like a dream compared to the treatment you got when you lost. Whether it be second, or tenth, every race you didn’t come first in was a loss, and your parents simply didn’t accept this.

When you lost, they’d make you practice on track for twice as long, no matter the weather, and berated you the second you started to complain. They limited your diet after your losses, claiming you needed to be lighter if you wanted the kart to go faster.

Your mother and father gave you this relentless attention with anything regarding racing, but the moment the topic drifted, you were neglected. There were no family dinners or movie nights, if you wanted something, you were going to have to buy it with your own money, and if you wanted to go somewhere, you needed to walk or find a ride because they refused to drive you anywhere if it wasn’t for a race.

There was no other family to go to even when things go impossibly rougher; you had no other relatives in the UK, and you couldn’t exactly ask your friends if you could live with them.

So you endured these conditions, all the way through the F4 British Championship, F3 and F2. You turned 18 while you were in Formula 2, and the second you did, you took the little money you had, and rented an apartment in South England, where you’ve been living ever since.

Your parents constantly contacted you in whatever ways they could, but you very quickly made sure they didn’t know where you lived and were never given paddock passes again. No one knows any of this anyway; when people ask where your parents are or when they’d get to meet them, you just shrug and say, “they couldn’t make it”

You haven’t seen your parents in person since you were 17, and you’ve done everything in your power to keep it like that.

Though with a few thousand words and 4 hours, one nosy journalist has managed to unravel all your work and growth and release it into the world.

You’re broken out of your stunned silence when Ally puts a hand on your shoulder. “I’ve set up a meeting with Alpha Tauri and Red Bull’s PR managers so we could figure out what we should do next to keep the press off your back, okay? The meeting’s in fifteen meetings, so I’ll leave you for a while”

Ally takes her phone back and exits the room to leave you standing still in the middle of it, astonished and speechless.

The meeting goes as well as you expected it to go. You shared as much as the truth as you saw fit, and came up with a statement to post with the rest of the PR managers. You were confirmed to go back to the media pen to finish interviews an hour later, and while no one asked you about the article, you could tell it was the unanswered question they all wanted to raise.

You are able to avoid most of the press of the remaining of the Italian weekend, and stuck to answering race-related questions only, your safest and only option, Ally told you later. You finished the Grand Prix P10, and flew home still sullen.

You spent the two weeks in between Monza and Japan in your apartment, regretfully thinking about all those years you had to spend under your parent’s treatment, and trying to forget them with simulator work.

You arrive in Suzuka, quiet and unsmiling, and try to ignore the shouting of the press that greets you on your way into the paddock. Ally guides you away as two new voices greet you.

“Hey Y/n, how are you?” Lewis asks, pulling you into a side hug and stepping into place beside you.

“Are you okay? You seem off” Charles says concerned, meeting you in a handshake.

“I’m fine, my flight just got in late last night so I’m tired, that’s all” You half smiled in response, hoping it was believable enough.

“Sure?” Lewis presses father. “Yeah, I’m okay” You nod.

“Okay, well, we’re still going into the city after media today?” Lewis asks. “Of course, I’ll meet you guys at my hotel after” You assure as you near the Alpha Tauri garage.

“See you then, and try to sleep a bit, yes?” Charles says before the two men walk off together.

Your friendship with the two drivers started because of the Spanish and British Grand Prix’s, the two races that gave you your two highest race finishes, and ended with two of your closest friends. Spain was a great race for both you and Lewis, yourself in P4, him in P2, and after non-stop talking in the paddock, you flew back to the UK together, effectively starting the friendship existing today.

You’d been friendly with Charles previously, but after his P9 finish in Silverstone and your P5 finish, he realized in a conversation before an interview that you were undeniably good at cheering people up, and you guys have been close since.

You’ve talked with them since Monza, of course, but not about the article. They want to talk to you about it, you can tell, but Charles and Lewis aren’t the type of people to just come right out and ask if you’re feeling okay about your history with your abusive parents being exposed to the world.

They also don’t want to pressure you into talking about something you clearly don’t want to talk about, so if all they can do is help distract you from the media, they’re going to.

Your night out with the Mercedes and Ferrari drivers does distract you; Lewis leads you and Charles to different shops and restaurants all over Suzuka, talking and laughing the entire time. You take a few photos along the way, and you go back to your hotel still smiling.

You kept your good mood until qualifying on Saturday, and are brought back into the reality of racing when you only manage P11. It’s technically not bad of a result for your car, but P9 or P8 would’ve been better right now, because all you can think about is what your parents would’ve said if you finished P11.

They’re paying you millions of dollars to race for them and the best you can do is eleventh?

You think you deserve to be here?

They are hundreds of other drivers that would do so much better than you

You are nothing compared to the other drivers

You’re lucky if you keep you seat next season, I know I wouldn’t let a P11 driver on my team

You go quiet at the thought, and get through post-race media stoic. You leave with your trainer as soon as you can, avoiding Lewis and Charles’s eyes on your way out. You have a week before you have to leave for Qatar, and spend a countless amount of hours on your simulator, hoping this time it’ll make a difference.

You flew into Lusail not knowing what to expect other than hot weather, and unfortunately you were right. You felt the heat as soon as you got in your car for FP1 on Friday and was already dreading the rest of the weekend.

You qualify P11 for both the race and the sprint, and end up in P12 for the two. You felt terrible after Sunday’s race, both physically and mentally, and you’re already berating yourself for your performance by the time you get weighed.

Charles and Lewis are in your post-race press conference group, and you can see them exchange a look after every cold and detached answer you give. You only stop to talk to your friends for a few minutes afterwards before you excuse yourself to go cool down, and leave minutes later with the defense of needing rest.

You fly back to the UK with Lewis, and you’re glad the two of you are asleep for most of the trip so Lewis won’t ask you to talk about why you’ve been so quiet.

The 10 days you have until you fly out to Austin are spent mostly on your phone, looking at all the comments people have been making about you since the article came out, saying how you probably deserved the treatment that you got, and how Alpha Tauri needs a more “stable” driver if they want to advance in the championship.

You don’t do much except exercise and train on the sim in those days, finding neither the desire or energy to do anything else.

Even though everyone is happy to be in Texas that week, you can’t find the energy to truly smile once that weekend. Charles and Lewis are practically stuck to your side, and even though you can tell they’re dying to ask you to talk about it, they only ask a few times if you wanted to tell them something, and when you denied, and simply offered companionship through silence.

It’s another sprint race, and you only pull off P12 and 13 for qualifying and the shootout, and drop a place by the end of both races.

You feel more frustrated with yourself than ever; you don’t understand why you can’t work with the car like you once used to, and you can’t even figure out how to again. You were doing so well until that fucking article came out, and all the sudden you don’t know how to drive.

The worst part about it is that every race, more and more people are realizing how you’ve been under-performing, and how people are starting to question your ability to drive for the junior Red Bull team.

You aren’t stupid, you know how things work at Red Bull, so you know that if you don’t pick your pace up soon, you could end up without a seat for the 2024 season.

This thought alone starts to destroy you, and soon you can’t even deny how burnt out you are. You pick up on the forced habit of not eating much, and making yourself to do nothing but train and look for ways to be better.

You spend the days before Mexico with data analysts and strategists, looking for any and every way to go faster. You dedicate too much time looking at successful F2 drivers, hearing Liam Lawson’s name come up too much for comfort, thinking about how Dennis Hauger had been looking fast in F2.

It’s a terribly unhealthy time killer, one that makes you look sick and go quiet. Charles and Lewis aren’t the only ones exchanging concerned looks now; multiple other drivers on the grid, friends with you or not, notice the change in your behavior and quickly grow worried when they hear Yuki’s description of you.

The drivers aren’t stupid either, they all know about the article that was published in September, and most of them would be lying if they said they hadn’t looked at it in curiosity. They’d also be lying if they saw their eyes didn’t widen in concern or eyebrows didn’t furrow with worry when they read how terrible your parents treated you.

The grid saw how the comments got nastier and nastier under your lessening social media posts every day, and even asked your PR officer multiple times to make sure she was managing your accounts and making sure you didn’t see what people had to say about your background or yourself.

They saw how you got quieter every race, how you stopped hanging out with Yuki and Charles and Lewis, no matter how many times they offered. They saw the rumors of you and your 2024 seat, how apparently Helmut Marko was paying close attention to you and the clauses in your contract.

They asked a lot, if you wanted to talk or if they could help in any way. It was always the same response; a weary smile, a small shake of the head, the words,“No, I’m fine, just tired” and an excuse that you were needed in your garage or media pen.

So they try to help in more discreet ways; when Yuki is asked about your position on Alpha Tauri or your future with Red Bull, he calmly assures that you are working hard with the team, and is doing everything possible to understand the car.

Charles, Lewis, and a few other drivers make a routine of coming to your driver’s room, most of the time just to sit with you as you look at data, or talk with you when you’re feeling up to it.

Mexico goes somehow worse than Texas, and you finish with your lowest result in F1 yet, P15. You try to be as approachable as possible in post-race media, but your sullen face gives you away.

You leave with Ally and your trainer to catch your flight to Brazil mere hours after you passed the checkered flag, and spend most of your time in Sau Paulo alone in your hotel room, replaying every hurtful comment either your mother and father or fans have said about you, and debating whether or not it was true.

You walk into the Brazilian paddock Thursday morning more grateful than you thought possible that this was the third-to-last race of your season.

And according to over twenty media sources, your third-to last race of F1.

After a public statement made by Marko talking about how Red Bull was “considering your future with their junior team” every journalist in the F1 community has decided that it means this was your last season in F1.

And honestly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Whether you raced in 2024 or not, you just wanted to go home and avoid the press for three months.

It was another sprint weekend, and another terrible qualifying and shootout. You placed 15th in both sessions and kept your place in the sprint, and spent a quiet Saturday evening in your hotel.

You could feel almost every journalists eye’s turn to you as soon as you walked into the paddock on Sunday. You arrived early that afternoon to get some extra data-stuff done, only now realizing that it gave the growing group of reporters behind you more time to ask you questions.

“Y/n! Can you tell us about your future in F1?”

“Will you have a seat next year?

“Y/n, what does Helmut Marko think about your decrease in performance?”

“Does your past with your parents have anything to do with your recent race results?”

You try to keep your face emotionless as you make your way into the Alpha Tauri garage and to your drivers room. You prepare for the race with your personal trainer and look over the arranged strategies for Sau Paulo while you wait for the go-ahead to get in your car.

Due to all the crashed-out cars, you ended the race in P12 in front of Oscar Piastri and Daniel Ricciardo. Statistically speaking, it was one of your better 2023 races, but everyone knows if it wasn’t for all the DNF’s, you’d finish in the bottom five.

You know that everyone knows this because just before you walked into the media pen after your race debrief, you saw Christian Horner and Marko speaking to your team principle, and after Yuki’s P9 finish today, it didn’t take you even a second to understand who they were talking about with disappointed faces and multiple shakes of the head.

Sure, this could mean nothing. This could just be a conversation between the three people that control the top team and it’s junior team. But you also like to think you’re a bit smarter than that.

You walked deeper into the crowded area before the three could see you, and walked to the first open journalist you saw, in hopes of leaving early.

“Y/n, hi! Not too bad of a race for you today, I guess?” The man asked, pointing his microphone towards you

“Yeah, not too bad. The car felt pretty okay and there was a bit of pace, but not enough to overtake or anything, clearly” You reply.

“Can we expect more race pace from you in Las and Vegas and Abu Dhabi?”

“I mean, it’s a bit too early to tell, but we’ll hope and see what comes out out of the practices” The man nods before looking down at his notebook.

“And your seat for Alpha Tauri next year, we know you’re apart of the confirmed driver lineup for 2024 but Helmut Marko states that there are attainable clauses in your contract, what do you think about that?”

You’re caught off guard by the question, but right when you’re about to respond, the man continues.

“Surely, Alpha Tauri isn’t really considering keeping you for next season, are they?”

You’re standing in front of the man speechless now, your brain barely comprehending what’s being spoken.

“Because I know the last thing a team wants is an incapable driver that is too emotionally effected by her “traumatic” childhood to race,” the volume of his voice starts to increase, and other drivers are starting to focus on your one-sided conversation.

“I mean, c’mon, no one even believes that even happened to you, and if it did, your parents were probably right for doing it-”

Your hands are shaking, eyes are wide with shock, body suddenly freezing, and you don’t even think you’re breathing. All you can do is listen as this man goes on and on about how you’re a shitty driver and deserved how your parents treated you.

You’re only broken out of your trance when an arm clad in red wraps around your shoulders and pulls you through the paddock. You’re not even aware of the yelling from a certain Mercedes drivers gets quieter and quieter as you’re brought into your driver’s room.

You’re being sat on a couch, and suddenly Charles Leclerc’s face is right in front of you, hands on your shoulders and eyes filled with concerned. “Y/n? Y/n, look at me, please, Y/n-” Your eyes dart to him and in an instant, everything from the past five minutes comes rushing through your head, and you can’t stop the tears that start to fall down your face.

“Oh, Y/n” The Ferrari driver moves to comfort you, but stops as you begin to cover your face and move away.

“No, Y/n, it’s okay, please, let me help you, Y/n” Charles wraps his arms around you in a hug as your body begins to shake with uncontrollable sobs.

“I can’t- I can’t do this anymore, Charles” You say in between breaths.

“I have to quit or something, I can’t keep doing this Charles, I can’t” You let your head fall on his shoulder, as the man tries to calm you down.

Charles’ heart is breaking as he comforts his friend; he remembers loving his first few years in Formula 1, how everything was so new and exciting to him, he could never not want to race, not then and not now. But to hear one of his closest friends breakdown because of how much she hates being there, makes the man’s heart shatter.

The door abruptly opens, and for a moment, all you can hear is the low angry cursing of Lewis Hamilton, until he sees you and Charles, and his face immediately softens.

“Love, I’m so sorry. That guy is a complete jerk, don’t listen to him” The British man says as he takes a seat beside you and wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so stuck in this place where everyone is always talking about what happened and I don’t know how much longer I can go through it” You say, your voice breaking off with another sob.

Charles hushes you once more, exchanging a worried look with Lewis as you pull away from him again. “I’m sorry, I know I should be doing better and everything but I just can’t-” You say, voice shaky through the tears.

“Don’t for one second be sorry that you’re not competitive right now. Y/n, thousands of people are talking about the one thing that hurt you the most, and I understand why you feel this way, just please, love, for your own good, let us help you. I promise it will make you feel better” Lewis assures, grabbing your hand.

So for the first time, you do. For over an hour, you tell Charles and Lewis everything that happened when you were younger, and how the article has made you feel since then. They listen quietly, nodding once in a while to let you know they understand, and gave you a hug when you stopped talking.

“Do you feel better now?” Lewis asks.

“Yeah, not entirely, but better”

“Good, that’s all I wanted to hear,”

“Are you ready to go home now? There’s a plane waiting for us, if you want”

“Definitely. I need to go home” You say as Charles helps pack up all your things and Lewis makes sure there’s a car waiting for you two outside. As you’re all walking through the nearly-empty paddock, Charles turns to you.

“I have to go back to my garage, but please Y/n, if you ever need to talk, call me? I want to help you, I don’t want to see you like this again” The Monegasque brings you into a hug.

“I know, Charles, I will” You promise.

“Okay, I’ll see you before Vegas, yes? Feel better!” He calls as he moves backwards and further into the paddock.

“You promise?”

Lewis asks you hours later in the front of the airport in England, just about to get into separate cars.

“Yes, Lewis, I’ll call when I need” You say to the older man in a hug.

“Alright, text me when you’ve made it home and make sure you get some rest. Don’t be too hard on yourself either, you don’t give yourself enough credit for everything you do” You smile at him.

“Okay, I’ll see you before Vegas?”

“See you before Vegas!” He shouts from his already-closed car door.

When you do see the two next, they make sure you’ve made an appointment with a therapist and are setting up a meeting with your PR manager to put together a statement in regards to your well-being the past two months.

Charles and Lewis make sure the media inside the paddock is severely monitored and checked before being allowed near the drivers, and help you fall back into healthier habits.

These changes don’t happen overnight, and they don’t take affect overnight, but you do use the winter off season to make sure these changes are helpful and working.

The three month break is utilized to mentally and physically prepare yorself in time for your 2024 seat at Alpha Tauri that was re-confirmed after your P8 finishes in Las Vegas and Abu Dhabi.

The media still knows everything, and you haven’t completely forgotten your childhood, you never will, but dealing with it still gets easier.

[vilsoo]

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𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘; 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘… Inspired by Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights, indulge in sex and horror galore at our premiere Kinktober event, HORRORLAND! Would you dare venture our haunted houses, experience our exhilarating attractions, and uncover the scandalous, deadly mysteries of Horrorland?

fandoms: jujutsu kaisen, spiderman atsv, fnaf, re4, codmw2.

𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

ㅤ ↓ 𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 (𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓) ↓

FRIDAYS🩸 we welcome our fellow monster fuckers into this territory! deadly creatures preying on their victims, serving their lustful fantasies with wild, animalistic urges! your arousal and fear may provoke them further, so beware of the woods…

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟒𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ❞ starring GHOST!LEON KENNEDY (re4)

who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead… and ghosts?

⚠︎ CW: mentions of stalking, slight ooc leon, angst, hurt/comfort, haunted vacation home, voyeurism, paranormal activity, sex with a ghost, gentle → rough smut, mirror sex, switchy!leon, 1980s setting.

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟏𝟖𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄 ❞ starring WEREWOLF!MIGUEL O’HARA (atsv)

during the bloodmoon on halloween, your werewolf boyfriend feels a rapacious urge to knock you up.

⚠︎ CW: established relationship, miguel in heat, rough sex, soft sex, marking, biting, possession, breeding, knotting, impregnating, degrading/praising, power struggle, multiple orgasms, 1980s setting.

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟓𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 ❞ starring RYOMEN SUKUNA (jjk)

a camping trip you planned with your friends turns out to be a total nightmare, all caught on camera…

⚠︎ TW: suspense, horror/thriller themes, gruesome murder, gore, ritual sex, demon sex, satanism, sadism, betrayal, teratophilia, size kink, double penetration, plot twist, ib the blair witch project (1999), 1980s setting.

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SATURDAYS 🍷 the depths of hell fall on this dark and gloomy city bound to corruption and sin, known as the devil’s playground! lurking within the streets beholds the prurient reigns of terror that which may also arouse parkland guests…

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟓𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 ❞ starring NANAMI KENTO (jjk)

with you and your boyfriend being a regular at this fancy restaurant, the owner became very fond of you…

⚠︎ TW: cannibalism, chef/restaurant owner nanami, poisoning, murder, infidelity/cheating, eventual smut, kitchen sex, unprotected sex, jealousy, dark obsession, slight stalking, gore, mutilation.

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 ❞ starring WILLIAM AFTON (fnaf)

as the new intern and your boss developing a dark obsession over you, he feels the need to corrupt you…

⚠︎ TW: dubcon, mind control (glitchtrap virus), sadism, murder, psychological abuse, manipulation, predator/prey dynamic, implied age gap, degradation, eventual rough smut, mentions of vanny mask.

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟔𝐓𝐇: ❝ 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐄 ❞ starring CHOSO (jjk)

accidentally bringing a girl back from the dead may have been horrifying, but falling in love with her..?

⚠︎ CW: horror/romcom themes, implied necrophilia (NO intercourse), college au, accidental ritual, romance, mentions of murder, suggestive smut, inspired by lisa frankenstein (2024) and corpse bride (2005).

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FOR OUR HALLOWEEN SPECIAL . . . not only are you immersed into the stories of our attractions, you get the real experience of being a parkland guest having a fun time at Horrorland with friends! but as thrilling as it all sounds, there are many scandals and articles of what really goes down…

𖤐 𝐎𝐂𝐓 𝟑𝟏: ❝ 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓, 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋? ❞ HEADLINE: PARKLAND VISITOR CAUGHT HAVING INTERCOURSE WITH A SCARE ACTOR!

flirting has become a common fear response when encountering hot masked scare actors chasing you at halloween events. this scandal covers a parkland visitor fawning over the hot scare actor in the Deathgasm haunted house, König, resulting in them flirting and sneaking off together…

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⚠︎ 𝐁𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬. 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. ⚠︎

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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐎 © 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. please do not steal my kinktober prompts/works/themes! reposting any of my works outside tumblr that minors can access is strictly prohibited. will be cross posted on my ao3 soon.

[devilsoldhissoultome]

Hunger Hurts Duet

Satiety Soothes

cw: sweet fluff, smut, oral (f recieving)

word count: 2.5k

author’s note: both parts are on the shorter side, but i still hope that you enjoy the story despite the length because i am genuinely proud of it and the effort i put into it

Hunger Hurts

cw: obsession, insecurity, stalking, death, murder, thoughts inside a tainted mind, mentions of anthropophagy

word count: 3.5k

author’s note: pleasepleaseplease pay attention to the trigger warnings and even my tags as explanation. Please don’t read this without preparing yourself.

[bratbarzal]

sorry to be a weirdo about this and I don’t ever want to engage in this conversation again bc people get so quick to jump to accusations but if you’re not gonna tag your darker posts with the appropriate tags or warnings you’re going to hell x

[amberjazmyn]

decade 💔🥹

pairing : f1 grid x driver!reader

summary :  aston martin driver elouisa holland is great at keeping her composure in front of the judgemental and ruthless eyes of the formula 1 media circus. that is until she gets asked about why she only has her mum and siblings at her races but not her dad even though everytime she did speak about her dad, it was positive. those who knew why her dad wasn't present at races were worried for how elouisa would respond until the room fell silent when she explained since they clearly couldn't understand or recognise the tense in which she spoke about him. 

warnings : mention of parental death, dark humour, f1 grid press conference, driver x female!reader, platonic x f1 grid, driver reader x max verstappen

a/n :  i have to admit, this was slightly self-indulgent because, fyi, my own father died a decade ago this year and this is exactly what i feel like i'd respond with if someone asked me where my dad was if i talked about him in such a positive light and them not recognising the tense in which i spoke about him. and, also, yes, i have elouisa as an aston martin driver because, no hate but, i'm not the biggest fan of lance stroll so he's just not part of the grid and elouisa is instead but all the other drivers are still in the grid though with a special guest appearance of sebastian vettel. 

it wasn't a shock to find out that the media circus involved with formula one was invasive and sometimes brutal. asking questions that people would think would be off-limits from asking however, within f1, no question was off-limits since there were no secrets within the sport. not even questions about personal matters like their families or their love lives since majority of the drivers had relationships that whilst weren't technically secret but on the private side and other personal matters in their life were safe from media scrutiny. things that didn't even relate to being a formula one driver would be asked instead of the more important questions like how they felt about their car or how the race itself went.

and of course, because of these nosy reporters who always wanted clicks and the best and juciest headlines, all the drivers on the f1 grid was put through some form of pr media training so they'd always have the perfect response that would also still give them some privacy as well as preparing them for the harshest of harsh questions without lashing out and gracefully rerouting the conversation back to the original topic of racing. so, if they were responding to a question that was quite invasive and teetered on the line of a privacy violation, they didn't give too much away and they weren't giving the reporter the exact response that they so desperately wanted. and, most of the times, it worked perfectly and the drivers hadn't had their whole lives being plastered over the internet. however, for the first time, elouisa holland's pr training did not come and save her because no matter how hard she tried giving the intrusive reporter her pr media trained responses, he still wasn't satisfied and kept on pressing her for a better answer then the one he had been given. 

so, because of that, she decided to tell the truth and it was a hard truth that would also make many people uncomfortable but, elouisa had been pushed too hard and too far and unfortunately, it was with the entire f1 grid around her alongside the nosy reporters. who most of them already knew the unfortunate reason why her dad wasn't seen around the paddock during grand prixs and why whilst she always spoke lovingly of her dad, she always spoke about him in the past tense. and that was because elouisa's dad died when she was only eleven years old when she was still karting alongside some of those who she now shares the f1 grid with. 

however, that's not how the press conference started. it had actually started as an amazing group interview with all of the drivers, all twenty of them, all bunched up together on the teeny tiny couch. all of them giggling and making jokes with one another and the interviewers and the moderator. elouisa was sat in the middle of red bull's max verstappen and ferrari's carlos sainz jr, verstappen on her right and sainz jr to her left. the three of them were giggling amongst each other and it was during that moment of the three of them giggling that the invasive interviewer, a man who was like at least a couple decades older than elouisa, asked her the one question she had always managed to skirt around giving a proper answer and avoid. 

however, the moment her head looked away from max and carlos and over at the interviewer, it was as though she already knew what question he would be asking. and that was before she had even lifted her head up and before he had even opened his mouth to say anything. 

"you always speak about your dad in such a positive light but we never see him around the paddock or at any of the grand prixs. if he's so great and so loved by you, then why doesn't he make any effort in supporting his daughter in a sport that for so many years, was male dominated and still is considered to be. as the only female driver on the grid, it has to upset you that majority of the drivers have their entire family with them to support them but you don't. especially with the consideration that you are actually quite a talented driver and really getting up there in the status of a legend. but, this is something you always avoid and never answer properly so why are you always talking so happily about your dad but when you get asked why he's never here to watch you drive, you always avoid and deflect, why is that?" elouisa should have prepared herself better but, she genuinely thought reporters were getting bored of asking this question because of the fact she always avoided it

however, this crusty old man was persistent and it seemed as though by his stance and the look on his face, that he wasn't going to back down until he got the answer he desired. but, of course, elouisa wasn't going to back down either so, she started to respond with the same old, media trained answers that she had always used every single time. 

"my dad and the reason why he doesn't turn up to races has no connection to where i am now as a formula one driver. this isn't a question you would ask to someone like max or to charles so why am i the only one being questioned on this topic other than the obvious that i'm a female and they're men? if you have a better question that is actually in relation to this weekend's grand prix, i will happily answer it but, any other non-related grand prix questions, will be ignored, thank you..." elouisa trailed off, placing the microphone in her hand back into her lap as she smiled over at max who gave her a worried look

elouisa knew that the guy was going to keep on trying, it was obvious. however, she didn't want anyone to notice just how bothered she got when people constantly asked about her father and why he was always mentioned but never seen. 

like mentioned before, she was eleven when her father died. and for the longest time, after the death of her father, it was as though her life went by ever so slowly. she wasn't sure how she was still alive because she never really remembered much from ages eleven to eighteen since those years just culminated together all into one. of course, she liked to say that she was the happiest she had ever been from her formula 2 days in 2020 and onwards but, everyone knew she was still struggling deep down. since the loss of her father, she developed an anxiety disorder that was then rediagnosed as ptsd since panic attacks would always strike the australian girl at the worst and most inconvient of times.

however, they never bothered her when she was racing or in interviews which she always thought was suspicious considering just how much more dangerous formula one racing was then anything else that she had going on in her life. at eighteen, she made her formula one debut with torro rosso even though it was only just for that debuting performance. after debuting with torro rosso, she moved to renault and then alfa romeo within the same year since the two teams fought over her, spending one half of the year with renault and then the other with alfa romeo. then, aston martin contacted her for a multi-year contract which she couldn't turn down as they had been renamed and brought back after changing their name from racing point to aston martin. and because they knew alfa romeo were never going to keep her for longer than the second half of her rookie season. and in late 2021, elouisa would be the number one driver of aston martin alongside fernando alonso. 

even though elouisa seemed to smile a lot in regards to talking about her dad, it always killed her a little inside because she always spoke about him in the past tense, reminding her of that solemn fact that, her dad was truly never going to come back. no matter how many times she wanted to forget or pretend that his death was just a mean prank that went too far. of course she did. how else would she talk about her dad who was no longer walking the earth anymore? besides, it had accidentally become a habit that she never wanted to get into in the first place. of course she wished her dad was still alive. it was the same for her best friend, charles leclerc, who drove for ferrari.

his dad had also passed away but charles was a lot older, he was nineteen and a year away from getting his formula one contract. so he knew the very pain that elouisa went through every single day when she would look and see the other drivers have both of their parents be present for them at every race. it was something she had always longed for and even sometimes loathed her mum for. she had always wanted her mum to fall in love again and when she didn't, it made her slightly hate her mum for not wanting to try to love someone new again just because she was afraid of the same thing happening again. it hurt elouisa to see her mum just blantly ignore her children when they begged and cried out for more than just their mum. only their youngest brother a mummy's boy. the rest of the siblings obsessed with their dad which caused four of the five siblings way more grief from the loss. 

it brought a painful ache into elouisa's heart every single time she remembered the words she said moments after the death of her dad had been announced. the first thing that fell out of little eleven year old elouisa's mouth was 'when am i getting a new dad?'. and even though she was now twenty-one, it was still something that haunted her every waking hour knowing that those were the first words that came out of her mouth. she was eleven, not a baby, yet she was still so clueless about death being final. that death meant the person wasn't going to come back. and now that she was older, she understood why little eleven year old elouisa said what she said. she said those words because she never wanted to be living a life without a father in her life. whether that was her biological father or a father that stepped up and fell in love with her mum and her five children. 

however, that never happened. elouisa's mum never fell in love and it was still something that elouisa would pick fights with her mum about. calling her mum selfish because she's too scared to fall in love again. reminding her that she can't stay miserable forever and that it's not a crime to try again and give her family the stability that they've been missing for the last decade. 

blinking back the cruel truth of elouisa's life, she was pulled back into the press conference as the intrusive interviewer asked her the question again, "i'll ask you again, why are you always avoiding questions that involve your father's obnoxious absences from the races? if a father loved his daughter so much, he wouldn't be avoiding all of her races so where is your father and why are you avoiding answering questions about his whereabouts?" the interviewer asked sharply, waiting for the moment elouisa would crack under the pressure he put her under 

everyone just watching in wait. the drivers beside her all holding their breath as they never truly knew how elouisa would respond or react when asked about her dad. whether she'd laugh hysterically and insert dark humour jokes, in a bid to cover up her uncomfortability. whether she'd cry because it was a day in which she really missed her dad. or if she'd just be nonchalant and continue to ignore the interviewer. however, this time, it was clear that elouisa was equipped with the perfect answer. the answer that no one was ready for because of how brutally honest and uncomfortable it was. 

giggling under her breath, it seemed to excite elouisa that she could finally throw away all of her pr media training and just make this absolute asshole of an interviewer uncomfortable, "sir, i have a question for you, do you have a dad?" elouisa starts as the interviewer is shocked at getting questioned himself but he quickly recovers and nods his head 

"yes, i do, elouisa, why?" the interviewer questioned as elouisa smirked, her plan was working as the drivers looked at her slightly worried - max holding her hand moreso for his own comfort than hers 

"well, when you talk about your dad, which tense do you talk about him in? present or past?" elouisa questions as the interviewer was still confused but not those around him as they all went into a solemn silence 

"present? i don't know, why are you asking?" he huffed, his arms crossed over like a child as elouisa giggled once again as she shook her head 

"okay, good to know your dad is still alive and kicking, sir. i say that because, if any of you interviewers really did your job and did it well enough, you would have picked up on the tense in which i use to speak about my dad..." elouisa trailed off, her head turned to the side as the other interviewers bit their lips in a bid to not make any noises of shock as they finally realised the way in which she spoke about her dad when she did talk about him 

however, this stupid man didn't. he didn't make the connection because it was always this one interviewer that always asked and asked and prodded but never actually paid attention to what was being said and how it was being said. he only cared about his intrusivity being listened to and responded to so he could get the content and reactions he needed for his big stories. 

"...okay, and? what's the tense in which you speak about your father got to do with this question that you always avoid?" the interviewer questioned in slight stupidity as elouisa sighed, her eyes rolling as she reaised she really would have to spell it out for him 

"fuck me...sir, if you were slightly smarter and actually paid attention to the things i post on social media on days like birthdays and annviersaries and why i never respond to your abhorrent questions, as well as paid attention to anything that is seen on my racing helmets, you would know that my dad has been dead for an entire decade...that's why no one in this interview pen has seen my dad except for the other current and former drivers on the grid because when i was eleven, i was still in karting. at eleven, i hadn't even realised that i wanted to reach formula 1 let alone any of the others. if you paid enough attention instead of focusing on the disgusting and intrusive questions to write your big story about, you would be knowledgeable in the news that my dad's dead, mate. like, he's dead dead. like he's so dead that i don't even think i can remember what he sounds like anymore..." elouisa trailed off as the entire press conference fell silent except for some of elouisa's giggles and the clicks of cameras and the one filming the press conference live 

after finally getting the response that the interviewer so desperately needed, he gulped back in embarrassment. his entire face went red and his mouth fell into a straight line as though someone had zipped it shut. he didn't know how to respond and elouisa found it hilarious. she loved when she shut down the ignorant and intrusive reporters because they always reacted the same exact way that this interviewer was reacting. but, it didn't take long before the interviewer then started to try and save his arse. 

"...i...i'm so sorry. i...i didn't know that your dad..." he stammered as elouisa held her hand up, making him stop talking and he did, however it was max's voice that spoke up next, not elouisa's

"...cut the crap, mate. yes you did know that her dad was dead and it's obvious you're not truly sorry because if you were, you would have stopped intruding the first time elouisa avoided responding to your inflammatory questions! if you were that good of an interviewer as you boast to be, you would know that constant nagging isn't going to get you the answer you long for, it's going to end in the same way this press conference has ended. with a driver being pushed to their limit and giving the truth that you so wish for in the most uncomfortable and confronting way possible because you just couldn't stop prodding and poking for a response. but, well done anyway i guess, cause you got what you wished for, right? you now know why elouisa's dad isn't seen around the paddock even though elouisa still talks about him," max was not playing around, he was furious as were the rest of the drivers on the grid but, no one could see the steam that was billowing from the ears of newly retired f1 racer, sebastian vettel 

sebastian had retired but he was still as ever present around the paddock when he was able to be. and at this grand prix, he just happened to be watching the press conference from the very back with nico rosberg, former f1 driver now journalist and they, nico and sebastian, were pissed. the both of them had seen elouisa holland grow up and see how she went through her life without her father present and how it devastated her. how the grief was always ever present around her when she did everything.

if these pesty journalists actually did their jobs and paid more attention to things, they would have seen the very clear memorial that the aussie girl has in honour of her father on her helmet in the same way carlos has maria di villota's red star on the back of every one of his helmets or the way charles always pays tribute to his father and godfather, jules bianchi. if they had just noticed these things, they wouldn't have needed to ask these questions but, they probably still would have because they loved to prod and try to break down the only female on the grid to test just how mentally strong she was up against the male drivers. they always did it on purpose because they wanted to prove that girls shouldn't be allowed in formula one and elouisa was their scapegoat every single time. however, this time, elouisa knew what they tried to do and she wasn't going to allow them this time. 

and that made both sebastian and nico proud of their girl. it made the entire grid proud of their girl. they knew from the beginning that elouisa was not the person to mess with but, people still tried yet, as the saying goes, you fuck around and you find out. and this time, this particular journalist did just that. he fucked around and he found out and he wished he never fucked around. and since max let the interviewer have it, it seemed as though he, elouisa and the rest of the drivers were no longer interested in finishing the press conference so they all stood up and, in solidarity for their fellow driver, they all walked out of the press conference. leaving the poor moderator, who was the sweetest guy in the world, all on his own in a room filled with reporters, having no clue what to do since this was being filmed live with no way of editing or cutting anything out. unless the camerman just decided to cut the cameras entirely before moving onto the rest of the grand prix weekend. which, is what the camerman decided to do anyway. the press conference had begun to drag a little too long and it was no longer the light, fun and easy-going press conference that it had started out as. 

as the drivers left the press conference, a breath of air just seemed to evaporate around them. what were they meant to do now? they couldn't remember what was next on the agenda. then, out of nowhere, elouisa bursts into incontrollable giggles. and, this of course, confused the others because how on earth was what just happened that funny? but, they knew not to question her so they also started giggling and the awkwardness just went away. 

finally, elouisa calmed down as she rested against max, "...mate, the look on that old dude's face when i told him that my dad was dead dead was hilarious!" elouisa sighed with the biggest smile on her face - the purest of trauma responses as the other drivers looked at her 

"it for sure stumped him from saying anything else, that's for sure!" lewis chuckled softly as he shook his head as elouisa nodded her head 

"it was supposed to! i said it for that exact reason! i wasn't going to sugarcoat it since it wasn't the first time old mate was begging for my response and he finally got it!" elouisa shrugged her shoulders as max sighed and pulled her closer to him 

"and that's why i love you, elouisa!" max hums with content as elouisa doesn't fight against max's embrace but embraces it and moves closer to him 

"why thank you, maxie! at least someone's not afraid to say it!" elouisa giggles before she stops as she feels the way the looks of the others change from the momentary joy back to sympathy 

elouisa wasn't normally one to get upset over her dad. because, right from the get go, she would always talk about him and she would be able to do that without crying. it was something that actually confused many people because they couldn't believe just how poised she was when she'd talk about her beloved dad so quickly after his devastating loss. how could she not? her dad was her hero, the reason why she even got into motorsport and why she was now a formula one driver even though he would never live long enough to see it. he still had the belief in his daughter that she could make it. that was why she had made it clear that her entire racing career with formula one would be dedicated to her father. but, when it did get quiet within her head and she did get upset about her dad, she knew she could go to any of the other guys in the grid and they'd be there for her to hold her as she fell. 

that was when the very distinct memory of driving on the anniversary of her dad's death and winning popped into her head. 

ʚ✩ɞ

"...elouisa, i don't want to freak you out considering today's already been an emotional day but, with ten laps left, you are in the lead. max is a whole lap behind you with carlos. fernando is near the back with valtteri and logan. so, you just keep on pushing, okay baby? you keep on going and you get that win, alright?" elouisa's radio engineer's voice crackles as elouisa's breath gets shaky 

"thank you! i'm pushing now!" elouisa breathes out before a quick "over" is heard and it's once again quiet between elouisa and her radio engineer 

it was the italian grand prix. not only the home race of ferrari but also the home race of elouisa holland who is an australian-italian f1 driver for aston martin, born and raised in australia to italian parents which meant that she could claim both the australian grand prix and all the italian grand prixs as home races. and, that's what she did. however, this time, this italian grand prix in monza was the most important home race for elouisa. it was the first time that she was in the clear running for a podium finish. but, not just any podium finish but a win. so, that's what elouisa and her team at aston martin were vying for at this italian grand prix. and right now, without even realising it, since she had been swamped by grief and agony of the memory of it being the tragic passing of her father, elouisa was inching closer and closer to getting her first ever italian grand prix win at monza.

elouisa doesn't really realise what's going on because she's so dazed and taken out of the joyus moment but, she knows somewhere deep down inside of her that she's finally snagged a win at one of her home races. celebrating with her radio engineer was supposed to be joyful but it was as though she wasn't even in her body. it was as though she was having an outer body experience and watching it happen. she hadn't even realised that she had driven her car into the parc ferme and in front of the p1 placard. so, it took max, who grasped second place and carlos in third place to help her out of the car and take her helmet off that she started to come to again.

"...elouisa! you did it, you won!" max smiled, his helmet also off as his hands squeeze the girl's cheeks as she looks at him with bulging wide eyes in shock 

"what? no...no i didn't!" elouisa stammered, she was sure max at some point had overtaken her but when she turned to look at carlos, he shook his head, also smiling wide as he joined max 

"yes, you did, hermana sister!" carlos rubbed elouisa's back as tears welled in her eyes, she couldn't understand why or how she had even won a race on a day as agonising and grevious as the annviersary of the death of her beloved dad

"then why don't i feel happy or excited?" elouisa's voice cracked as max and carlos remembered, their eyes sullen 

they hadn't forgotten what this day was or the feelings it brought up for their best friend. how could they forget? they grew up with elouisa and her family. of course, they were on the older side of the grid but, they still grew up with elouisa in the same way they grew up in similar circles to the rest of the drivers on the grid. so, they knew and remembered the exact time on this specific day that they got the news that elouisa's dad had died.

it was devastating for all of those in the karting and motorsport world because elouisa's dad was well-known and very well loved. and because he was so involved with it, it had come as a huge shock that the news had come out during a karting championship that elouisa was actually participating in alongside george russell, alex albon and oscar piastri. and, exactly like today, on the anniversary of her dad's death, on the day that it was announced her dad had died, she had also won that karting championship, having no knowledge that at home, her mum was grieving over the loss of her husband and the father of her five children who were all at the karting championship for elouisa. 

maybe that was why whenever elouisa won on days like anniversaries and the birthday of her dad, it never felt happy or exciting. it always had a tinge of sadness because it was another win that he would never get to witness and be apart of. nor was it a trophy that he would be able to  see. so, getting this win at monza was equally amazing for elouisa and aston martin but it was also agonising that it was yet another win that would never be seen and celebrated by and with her dad. maybe that was why her mum had slowly started to stop from coming to races.

she couldn't bear to see her little girl on that podium, winning races, without seeing both of her parents there watching. max and carlos could see that the grieving girl was ever so slightly starting to breakdown and they hated it so, they didn't hesitate. pulling her in for a hug, they pulled her closely and held her tightly. the formula one commentators mentioning just how sweet it was that even though they were rivals on track, as soon as they got out of their cars, they were best friends and were there to take care of one another. they also hadn't forgotten what day it was that the italian grand prix managed to fall on this year so, they couldn't do anything else but pay their respects and send their love to elouisa and the rest of the holland family.

  ʚ✩ɞ

"...hey, you okay, schat darling? you went off somewhere, you back with us now?" max giggles softly as elouisa blinks, looking max in the eyes and nodded her head 

"yeah...yeah, i'm fine, sorry. yeah, i was in fairyland for a little bit. i'm sorry, what were we taking about?" elouisa mumbled as she leaned further into max's protective hold as max smiled 

"don't apologise. and whatever we were talking about before doesn't matter anymore, what was going on inside your head? where did you travel off too?" max's voice softened as he got the two of them to sit down on the couch, the other drivers following suite as elouisa scoffed softly 

"my first win at monza...on dad's anniversary..." elouisa trailed off as max nodded his head, the other drivers smiling softly, understanding how agonising that was for her 

"...why's that schat?" max wondered, he remembers that day like it was yesterday and it haunted him at how elouisa was so hollow and as though it wasn't her controlling her body that entire day

"it's a cruel reminder that it's now been a decade since he's died and i still forget that he's never coming back even when i win races..." elouisa whispered, tears that hadn't been shed since that podium, rose in her eyes as her lip trembled 

"...you can cry, lieverd sweetheart." max whispered and that was all that elouisa needed to hear before the tears tumbled down her face as max hugged her close to his chest, her hand covering her face, the other one wrapping around max's middle

the rest of the drivers weren't sure what to do. so they just stood awkwardly, feeling bad for their teammate that her breakdown was most definitely caused by the extremely persistent and abhorrent interviewer from the press conference. that was until lewis led the rest of them out by loudly announcing that they probably had better things to be doing than awkwardly watching max and elouisa. and, max and elouisa both would thank lewis for that later on in the day. not because the other drivers were being ignorant or rude, but it was uncomfortable to see their best friend and teammate cry and not know what to do other than just stand there awkwardly. they for sure could have gone in for a group hug and hopefully used that as a way to maybe make elouisa let out a croaky giggle but, they didn't want to push it or make her feel worse. so, with lewis in the lead, they all left the paddock and allowed max and elouisa to be left on their own. knowing and trusting that max would do everything in his power to get elouisa back to the elouisa they all knew and loved again. 

and it wouldn't take too much longer before max was able to dry elouisa's tears and get that smile back on her face. followed by a shrill giggle not too long after he got her smile back. sure, it was a painful reminder that her dad was gone but, he was never forgotten. no matter how many decades went past since the loss of her father, elouisa would always dedicate the rest of her life as a formula one driver to him. because he was the one that truly believed that his little girl had it in him to have what it took to become a formula one driver. 

fin

ok this ending was shitty and awful but, whilst i was rewriting an old one-shot that is once again max focused, i had this idea so i decided to write it before i forgot it. and this is what i had come up with. and yes, some of what is written in here is what i've through with the passing of my own dad. the truth starting with that, this year, october 2024, it will be an entire decade since my dad died. meaning that exactly like elouisa, i was also eleven when my dad died as i am now twenty-one. which means, it's getting to the point where i've been remembering him for longer than i've known him and that honestly kind of shatters my heart in a way that, by next year, 2025, he would have been dead for the exact same time as he was in my life and that just doesn't sit right with me for some reason. however, because it hasn't even gotten to ten years yet, i shouldn't be thinking about that just yet! and, another thing that is true that i've included in this story is that, not that long after it had been confirmed by the paramedics that my dad was dead and had stopped responding to cpr and defibrilation, i had said to my mum "when am i getting a new dad?" and, i cannot say that i am proud of that statement. it is truly something that haunts me everytime i remember that i said those words. i was just so confused and had no clue what was happening because everything had happened so quickly that those were the words that just tumbled out of little eleven year old amber's mouth.  i was also originally diagnosed with anxiety but then earlier this year, it was rediagnosed as ptsd because of how severe the anxiety within the ptsd was. so, yes, like i said in the author's note at the start, this was a very self-indulgent fic. i hope i didn't make anyone depressed but if i did, i promise i'll help pay for your therapy

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[maxintime]

⚠️⚠️⚠️

PLEASE BE WARNED THAT THIS COMIC DOES INCLUDE GRAPHIC IMAGES OF GORE, BLOOD, AND ANIMAL CRUELTY SO PLEASE BE WARNED AND MAKE SURE TO READ THE TRIGGER WARNING BEFORE READING THANK YOU ‼️‼️

"innocence"

[epiphanyepica]

Thoughts on Captive Prince

So, fun fact! I did not do chapter-by-chapter thoughts on Captive Prince's first book. I did send some of my reactions and scathing opinions about Laurent to my friend, though! So, I figured I'd share some of that with those of you who like these posts!

A few things to note is that most of these were texts, but I've reformatted or adjusted the wording on some of them to be better suited as reactions. I've also omitted the responses my friend sent to my texts, so some things may seem like they're a part of a conversation.

Now... be warned... I was not the biggest fan of Laurent in the first book.

...

Okay, so my first impressions of Captive Prince so far include:

1. I think I should give lesbian books a chance because this book described a woman in a seductive light one time so far and I immediately felt intrigued 🤣.

2. I love how Damen's type is pale, blond(e), and probably blue eyed, and guess what LAURENT IS.

Damen just called Laurent PRINCELING. My Kadolin heart is feeling like this is infidelity. A blond prince and a tan man who is beneath him, socially 😭 calling him 'princeling'.

I've gotten far enough into Captive Prince to begin questioning whether or not Laurent is redeemable or if I can really ship him and Damen.

Laurent, from Damen's POV anyway, and from his ACTIONS, is nearly just as bad as all the other power hungry, sadistic rapists in that court, to be honest.

Like, I'm sure he has backstory that explains it, but it does NOT excuse the fact that while he won't rape anyone himself, he'll have someone else do it to punish that person.

As it stands right now, I want Laurent to get his ass fucking kicked so badly. He's coming across as spoiled and sadistic and I deeply dislike it.

I don't know if I'll ever like Laurent. He literally had someone raped to prove a point because he was acting like a spoiled prince not getting his way.

I also personally think he's a horrible person. Like I get that there's a backstory here that Damen doesn't know and Laurent grew up in Vere and they're practically all sadists there, but as it is, he's nearly just as bad as the rest of them because he not only doesn't do anything to change things, he perpetuates them.

Laurent is a compelling character. I just hate his actions.

The whole situation is messed up, but I'm more on Damen's side because he doesn't turn a blind eye to the sadistic torture these slaves are enduring.

I'm like 50% of the way through book 1 currently, by the way.

I do have hopes for Laurent's character to improve, but right now, he's pissing me off so badly.

I'm not over here trying to debate whether or not Damen is in the wrong for his own participation with sex slaves, but that Laurent's handling of him seems worse than what Damen would do to a palace slave.

Damen goes on about how the palace slaves in Akielos are meant to be treated better and are trained to be treated better, but that they are being wildly abused in Vere because Veretians are so much more violent in this respect.

So far, I just want to punch Laurent, and to be fair, regardless of the backstory, I still thinks he deserves a punch or two.

Okay, I have things to say...

I have a love-hate relationship with Laurent because, right now, Damen has a love-hate relationship with him.

Anyways, Damen going outside and realizing that the other prince was FLIRTING with Laurent and he just randomly, without thinking about it, interrupted the whole thing. Like hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Also, Nicaise is THE REGENT'S PET AND HAS BEEN SINCE HE WAS TEN/ELEVEN YEARS OLD?

That man is a fucking pedophile.

And Damen respected him, too 😭.

And it's just giving me really bad vibes because of how Laurent interacts with Nicaise and it makes me wonder...

Like the Regent is a full on pedophile, and when they have nephews or nieces, those are usually their number one victims.

I love Erasmus. He's so sweet 🥺.

The pedophile Regent going on about how Laurent used to be such a "lovely boy" NAHHHHHHH.

RED FLAG 🚩 RED FLAG 🚩 RED FLAG 🚩.

The Regent took his sweet time with planning to kill Laurent and it's making me wonder if, perhaps, that's because he was useful to his uncle when he was a boy. NOOOOO 😭😭😭.

...

BONUS:

I have spent the last 45 minutes or so looking into getting other library cards for free to get Prince's Gambit sooner. None of the options were working for me and then BAM.

Cue maniacal laughter.

...

PS: When I do a reread of this series someday–depending on how I feel about it once I finish it–I might do reread notes for Captive Prince and the rest of the trilogy for funsies. I think it'd be cool to react to my old theories and what not.

[dem0batz]

I’m so tired of seeing constant criticisms of dark romance and dark romance love interests. Just enjoy what you enjoy and let others enjoy what they enjoy. Like some of y’all are so cruel and mean for no reason to people who are just minding their own business.

[unwishablestars]

Hi I’m not sure if you take this type of requests and if you don’t you can just ignore it. Could you do Cassidy, Hanzo, Genji, Lifewaever and Mauga (not sure if you writ for him) comforting their s/o after they got rescued from being kidnapped. Can you also add that the s/o was pregnant but had a miscarriage due to the kidnapping? If you don’t want to add the last bit that’s fine.

Thank you. 😊

I failed

Pair(s): Cassidy x Pregnant!Reader | Hanzo x Pregnant!Reader | Genji x Pregnant!Reader | Lifeweaver x Pregnant!Reader

Genre: Angst , Hurt/Comfort (little comfort ngl)

Word Count: 1.3k

Tags: Headcanons, Angst, Miscarriage, Multi-Character, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

TWs: Miscarriage, Kidnapping, Angst, Mildly-described violence

Summary: Cassidy/Hanzo/Genji/Lifeweaver's partner get kidnapped while pregnant leading to reader's miscarriage.

A/N: HIIIII ANONNNN!!! Thank you so much for your request!<3 I'm really sorry about the delay since life got in the way a bit :( And sorry I don't write for Mauga cuz idk how yet--- fresh hero ykyk</3 I hope you like this though!! Sorry for the delay again :(

Cassidy

Even before joining overwatch Cassidy was already a pretty wanted man due to him being part of the dead lock gang

And it never really changed when he joined overwatch

Though this time he wasn't a criminal but he was still in a dangerous field, but you always loved him because you've seen him in all the ways he loves you.

He was swooned when he met you.

One cheesy love story later, BOOM, you're preggers.

Whether you were a civilian or an agent, Cassidy WILL NOT let you get involved with his work while pregnant.

So he was absolutely distraught when he couldn't find you in you're shared home.

He walks through the door calling out for your name, ready to pamper you for the night, only to get no response.

Suddenly, he sees the signs of struggle. Knocked over furniture, thrown books, and just a general mess of your home

He is frantic.

Starts yelling your name, running around the house trying to look for you. "..Fuck..FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK"

After a few hours, they eventually locate you. They waste no time at all.

The plan was simple, (maybe even too simple), just get you out of there. Unharmed.

Cole, with worry and adrenaline as strong as ever, finds you tied to a chair. Crying, distraught, and bleeding.

Now you lay on the base's medic bay, face showing numbness as you learned the news of your baby.

Everyone had left after attempting to comfort you. All except for you lover.

He held your hand as he felt a familiar pain of loss, holding back tears, he just wanted to make sure you knew you weren't alone. And that he is so sorry.

"Darlin.. fuck.. I'm so sorry.. I was supposed to protect you. Our child.. it's my-- I'm so fucking sorry, love. Please.. please don't hate me."

Of course you didn't hate him. But too exhausted to speak, you brought his hand up to your cheek and weakly said "Just.. stay.."

"Darlin.. I will never leave your side."

Hanzo

Hanzo has been hiding in the shadows and constantly on the run for years. Alone. Until you, of course.

You offered to give him a place to stay after seeing him about to doze off sitting on a bench in the park

"No, it's fine. I'm just resting." He was literally about to pass out--

He had eventually opened up to you after much persistence and kindness, and grew incredibly fond of you.

To him, you brought him peace.

For a while, he tried to lessen contact with you as to avoid any conflicts with the people searching for him.

But he was conflicted when he found out you were pregnant. He did not want to leave your side but he also did not want to endanger you, especially in this state.

After some reassurance, he agreed to stay and take care of you.

He had hoped he would lay low enough that not only would he have to worry about your safety but also be able to be a present father to his child.

But when he came to your shared home and the door wide open, he fuckin lost it.

Frantically looking for you in your home, swearing all sorts in his home tongue didn't solve the issue.

He couldn't find you but he did find an envelope containing you're whereabouts.

They've been planning this for a while, how long were they watching him? Why did they only strike when you're health was so critical.

Hanzo was livid realizing this.

He headed to your location and found you tied to a chair, sac over your head, in a dimly lit warehouse

He knew it was a trap but ain't no way he would let anyone put a finger on you.

After being roughed up himself, (but ultimately beating the shit put of a of em) he took a look at you and saw the bruises, the scrapes

and the blood down there

he held you close, forever blaming himself for what happened

Genji

Genji and you met during your time in overwatch while they were in their prime

He was emo back then but you liked that,

And when he realized he liked you're unconditional admiration, he liked you too.

He didn't admit it of course, neither to himself nor to you but whatever.

Years later, Winston sends the recall.

And he was pleased to find out you had come back,

With a new mentality, a new acceptance of himself, and a more open acceptance of your love.

This time he made the first move, trying to act smooth like his pre-overwatch days, but his stuttering and nervousness gave it away though.

He was worried you'd remembered him as the angry and vengeful man he once was, but you saw who he was deep down

Which is the exact reason why he fell in love with you.

Eventually, after feeling a bit of morning sickness he urged you to go Mercy or Bap or anyone to help you get better.

Only for you to find out you're pregnant.

You stayed away from missions for a while as Genji requested, at most doing paperwork and helping a bit around the base.

But when the base was suddenly attacked, Genji pinned, yelling at you to stayed back.

You tuned out his pleads and gripped your weapon to help the father of your child.

And you did, but you were knocked out and taken away. He was too weak to reach you.

They immediately set out to rescue you, fully aware of your vulnerable state.

Though they had insisted for Genji to heal up first, through his broken visor, he shot them a glare that wouldn't stop him from saving his love.

After finding you in a cell, bruises all over in a weakened state, unconscious, he carried you back to the ship and held you close, eye getting watery.

You woke up in a hospital bed in the medbay, the first thing you notice being the ache your body feels, and the pain in your stomach.

Then, you notice your lover hold you close and tight.

Followed by the sorrowful looks of the doctors.

They left to give you two some space.

"I'm.. so sorry.. please.. forgive me.."

With tears in your eyes, you held each other close, never wanting to let go again.

Lifeweaver

You had worked alongside Lifeweaver in his development of biolight,

He loved having you at his side.

Soon he took you dates, brought you gifts and food, too show appreciation.

Not realizing he was indulging in his growing love for you.

After giving him some clarity of his feeling with a bold kiss, you two were inseparable, even more than before.

After you had missed you're period, you showed your lover the positive test and he way beyond joyful.

He always urged you to rest and didn't let you lift a finger. He didn't want you to be stressed or worried, he saw such beauty in you.

But those you wanted his biolight saw opportunity.

He was out buying food for you and his future baby but he came home to an open door, silence, thrown trinkets and portraits.

In his panic, he wondered whether or not he would need to contact his family. Or Satya. Or Baptiste. Anyone.

He received a video file on his desktop.

Asking for the acces to his biolight as well as the information to it's creation.

He was shaking, he wasn't strong enough to fight them on his own, he needed help. He needed you. Please come back to me.

He cannot wait any longer. He caved. Only for you. And for them.

He had sent all the information they needed. And as breathed heavily on his knees. He heard a vehicle arrive at his estate.

He hurried out, even almost tripping in the process, he needed to see you were okay, that you were both okay.

He saw you being lead to the front gate, and the abductors lackey walking back to their vehicle.

Giving him a face of no remorse.

As he held you in his arms once again, the look in your eyes had told him everything.

You two stayed there. Just feeling the comfort of what you two still had. Each other.

[imitor]

further to a topic i saw the other day idk how many times i can see the words dead dove on a blog and then look at the tags and go ? this truly just needs a trigger-warning and doesn't warrant the dead dove tagline.

[gigisriley]

you should go read oh silent god on ao3. for no reason in particular (CLICK THE IMAGE I HATE TUMBLR GRRRRR)