#(set sometime after the event when break's recovering)

[schleckermaul]

( 🍭 the five senses ) [ 𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐇 ]: sender takes receiver to the aquarium to watch the sea life. ( because i wanna see what break sees at an aquarium ) — @nobully

WHEN WANG YI FIRST OFFERED, break truly thought he was mocking him, suspiciousness like a second layer of skin. the distrust must have shown in some way, or at the very least, his non-answer was telling enough, because the man was quick to reassure, and break had difficulty figuring out if it's nervousness or annoyance accompanying his voice.

' you need to get out of the house sooner or later, ' is what he'd offered as a hasty explanation. ' and sea air's supposed to have health benefits. ' break could picture it, then. how he'd make a quick gesture with one hand, avoiding his gaze. it's something he's done before, when he was sputtering at whatever silly thing break last said, but now that wang yi knows of his blindness, it felt a bit pointed.

   he still accepted. he was bored out of his mind, being stuck in this apartment, even with zhilan taking great care of him. maybe that, too, is a bit suffocating, an endless source of comfort and fondness where break is sure he doesn't deserve it.

   their trip to the aquarium was easy enough, mostly silent, wang yi asking a few questions about his injuries that break didn't want to answer, giving bare-bones replies until he learned to shut up. it was only once wang yi paid for their entry and they went through the entrance that he started talking.

   reading the little plates at some exhibits. explaining the layout. pulling break out of the way when he got overwhelmed enough by the crowds around them that he lost sense of direction, nagging the people who almost bumped into him. it's ... such a reluctant and almost disgruntled way of showing affection, break has to stop himself from snapping at the man several times, not always successful. a random tug of his arm does it eventually, break yanking it away from wang yi with a glare.

' alright, geez! i'll just let you walk into a wall next time. ' wang yi retreats, fabric of his sleeves rustling as he raises his arms in temporary defeat.

   ' you think i didn't get around without you before? '

' before you got your ribs smashed by a car door, you mean? '

   and break really has to stop himself from starting a physical fight, then, in the middle of an aquarium, where the soundscape is relatively pleasant and the air isn't sticky or heavy. instead, he clicks his tongue, dismissive, flipping the ends of his hair back. ' and whose driving skills were at fault for that again? '

   he cackles when wang yi gets into a fuss at that, jumping a few steps ahead to put some distance between them. not enough to separate them, just enough to enter the next part of the aquarium by himself, and ... the layout changes, he notices immediately.

   instead of a rather tight hallway, where the walls are filled with square, hollow boxes for various amounts of smaller fish, the space he steps into feels circular. and, more than that, it doesn't feel like he's surrounded by walls made of stone or wood. after a beat of contemplating whether it'll be suspicious, break takes a few steps to the side, until he finds himself face to face with what seems like glass, hand coming up to trace the material.

   it's a tunnel. made of ... glass. with water behind it? surrounding them, break realizes the next moment. so there must be more animals as well, judging by the sounds of moving waves, like the echo of a cave, occasional squeals. the noise of other people talking is eased here, no longer as much of a pressure on his ears. he's underwater without being underwater, a sensation he didn't think he'd ever feel.

   a serene moment, with his palm against cold glass, his head less foggy than it's been the last few days.

' you're staring at a fish. ' break's eye flickers into wang yi's direction at the sudden appearance. it probably wasn't sudden, he just wasn't paying enough attention as he stepped up next to break. ' or the fish is staring at you? it's kinda hard to tell, with those bug eyes. '

   break is silent. he doesn't even sigh. apparently, wang yi took that as an invitation to keep rambling. ' it's yellow— '

   ' you can stop, you know, ' he finally interrupts, though no actual anger darkens his tone. mostly, break just seems tired. his side hurts, the pressure of his bandages ever-present, medicine making it harder to concentrate. it's exhausting, to recover, when it would've been so easy to just give in. close his eyes, give up. at the edge of death, it takes so much more resilience to stop himself from taking a step he can't take back. breathing still hurts. he wishes he could just stop doing it. not looking at wang yi (not that he actually can), break keeps staring ahead.

   ' describing it to me. i don't need to know. ' removing his hand from the glass, it's pleasantly cool when he traces around his right eye.

   ' this is part of my punishment. ' it sounds ridiculous enough for it to be a joke, but break remains serious. or perhaps resigned. ' not being able to see. trying to help defeats the purpose. '

   he doesn't say more than that. he doesn't even think of the last time he saw sharon's smile, or how he's starting to forget how she looked in the first place, memories all he's able to hold onto. it's easier to wallow in his pity, in the conclusion he's made years ago. that whatever harm should befell him as a consequence of his actions, whether that's mad hatter or all those people he killed, is deserved and just and simply the way things need to be.

   redemption waits at the end of the road. he's left the path, standing here instead of his own world. maybe he'll never receive it, then.

   ' i should be dead, anyways. '

   the last part slips out unintentionally. it seems to cement whatever struggle wang yi's been having next to him, conflicted emotions radiating off him like the waves surrounding them. there's a moment where they're simply standing next to each other, a pit of guilt separating them from the rest, clinging to their feet.

' whatever. ' break wasn't expecting any particular response, but wang yi still manages to surprise him enough to turn towards him. is he ... annoyed?

' you're not. and you better not bite the dust in the foreseeable future, either. xiao lan's been putting too much effort into keeping you alive. ' which feels like a threat, and maybe it is. break doesn't have the energy to resist when wang yi pulls him again, to leave this spot and keep walking, keep looking. but there's space for him, here, for his hair to fall over his face as his expression tightens.

   there's people at his side again. invested in his survival. scarred hands cupping his cheeks when panic threatened to overwhelm him. somebody frantically pulling him out of a crashed car. the warmth of a picnic, the voice of the woman he loved, sitting with ...

i should be dead, he thinks again. it's a bit softer. weaker. silly refusal, like a child unwilling to give up a sweet.

   he lets wang yi describe and explain for the rest of the trip.

[sealofarchives]

Hello, could you create a headcanon for ROTTMNT about what it would be like to date Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie (separately) and what the pros and cons of a relationship with them would be?

Headcanon: GN!Reader dating the Rise!Turtles (Separate) (Requested prompt with established relationship)

A/N: This was really fun to work on and ended up surprising myself with how this turned out!!!

Donnie

Pros:

Since you take the time to listen to whatever he says, he'll do the same for you.

Even before you started dating him, he took some notes on what you liked and disliked. (He used to have a tablet for that said purpose but eventually, retooled as a backup photo album storage between the two of you)

- I personally think he's not one for the usual icebreaker conversations with stuff like "how's your day and etc"

So most conversations start with some tangent on his mind or about your favorite things then eventually discussing daily stuff that happened within the day.

Even though he struggles trying to cheer people up, but he's not gonna ignore your well-being when you happened to have a bad day.

- Like he makes sure you had something to eat or drink. And if talking about the problem makes it worse, already noted and tries to pull you towards light stress free activities. (Letting you borrow one of his headphones to listen to your music, sort and try out a box of fidget toys, or setting up a small space in the lair as the designated chill zone)

While there might be some technical mishaps, he always has good intentions trying to fix your phone or other electronic devices you have trouble with.

Cons:

Imo I feel like during the first few weeks in the relationship, he'll be awkward towards pda. (don't constantly pester him about it)

- He'll eventually come to it maybe near the end of the first month of dating. (With his personal quota of handholding and hugs that last a few seconds)

Until realizing your needs are just as important to maintain that special relationship.

- However, If some creep doesn't get the message you're already taken, its one of the rare times he'll force himself into initiating pda for your own safety.

Easily gets jealous and refuses to admit it with some snarky remark.

When he refuses to take breaks, you probably have to step in so he doesn't accidentally hurt himself or gets sick.

- When you do so, it often ends with him passing out on you.

(And tiny bit of scolding from his brothers [namely Raph and Dr Delicate Touch] after Donnie recovered from overworking himself on a large scale project)

Can be very passive aggressive and it could lead to some unpleasant arguments towards something very trivial.

- He's definitely the most stubborn out of his brothers and probably won't hear you out until your feelings get hurt.

It might take him a few days to think up of a proper apology. And during those days, he slowly regrets yelling at you along with letting his anger get the best of him.

Leo

Pros:

He won't admit it but, your level of honesty around him really puts him at ease whenever he's lost in thought about something.

- The leader can name a least few things about his brothers' special talents but during a few nights where he can't sleep, because of a nightmare from a past enemy. (either Shredder or the Krang)

He didn't have the energy for one of his usual portals but, really wanted give you a hug for saying such kind words through a phone call.

He'll instantly back off if he accidentally made a joke that offended you.

- The last thing he wants is to upset you. So he really tries working some type of compromise between the two of you, so it doesn't happen again.

He has a strong memory sometimes, like remembering the little details. It will usually happen when you least expect it.

- Casually bringing up a past event from one of the photos saved on your phone. Often being one of the early hang out sessions, before you started dating him. He'll lightly tease you about it but, mostly grateful that you took a chance to build up that relationship with him.

If you happened to have a case of bad luck, he's very determined to end that streak's rein of terror by his own hands.

- And if you can't visit the lair, he'll let you borrow his lucky rock as a good luck charm.

Cons:

He still has a bit of that competitive energy in him and can be a sore loser when he doesn't win.

- It could take him a while to realize that the playful showboating upseted you and to why you're refusing to give him any attention.

This also adds on to that he's not the best at genuine apologies.

- Like the first sorry has no feeling to it until the guilt weighes down on him.

I don't think he could last a few days with you giving him the cold shoulder + silent treatment (Imo, he has the type of desperate embarrassment that would be hard to watch)

Sometimes his "surprise planning" ends up in a panic since he waits until the last minute to get you something.

- Given how some of his strategies usually works towards his advantage. (Often not telling the others about it and another similar manner along those lines)

His ego can 100% break the relationship.

- Like there's only certain amount of patience you can handle with his nonsense and his brothers will absolutely not stand for that kind of behavior. The moment he realizes he was in the wrong, he scrambles trying to avoid a potential break up.

Raph

Pros:

Almost has the same level of patience as Mikey's. (Also a result of being the oldest brother and dealing with some of Splinter's shenanigans)

Will often ask if you need help with the heavy lifting. (Even towards small stuff like when you can't reach for something on the top shelf. He will immediately grab said item for you.)

Gives the best teddy bear hugs

- Not too tight or too close to his spiky scales. Just right enough where it can easily put you at ease, stopping any stressful thought plaguing your mind.

Can easily motivate you into short exercise routines.

- It doesn't even have to be the daily recommended 30 minutes. Often being close to under 5 minutes is still worth it.

When both of you were done following that one morning aerobics exercise from animal crossing, his brothers immediately teased him about it. But he doesn't care, he was just happy you got to stay up for a little bit before lazily resting your head near his plastron.

Cons:

While the big guy means well, he can be a bit overbearing.

- Especially if you got a small injury, after a brief night patrol fight from an unexpecting bad guy attack.

He will absolutely be a mother hen if you end up getting sick. Drops whatever he was doing and rushes over to make sure you're okay. Which often results in him getting sick after you fully recovered because he forgot to bring the protective gear for his own safety.

(This is a personal headcanon of mine) but he's definitely close to a morning kind of guy. Light stretches to start the day before he eats breakfast.

- So if you have a similar night owl schedule like Donnie or Leo, he won't say much but, he will judge you for it unless its related to some medical reasons.

If you decide on borrowing clothes from him, a lot of the shirts he has, will have a few holes because of his spiky shell. So pack some extra clothes (like a spare tank top or something similar) if you're not into the torn up clothing look.

You're bound to see Savage Raph at least a few times.

- Please approach with caution and take Leo's advice seriously. However, still be gentle around Raph and comfort him by the time he returns back to his usual self.

Mikey:

Pros:

The fact he knows how to cook is already best boyfriend material.

- He can probably cook up your favorite food if you ask for it.

Another plus is proper communication skills.

- Dr Feelings will always be there to help and will accommodate what's best suited to your needs.

Can be your personal cheerleader when you happened to be stuck at starting something.

- After all, he is the best hype man for a reason. But, can easily tone down the energy if you start to feel overwhelmed.

There will always be a lot of creative thought in whatever gift he makes for you.

- Very heartfelt and he will be a blushing mess if you ended up displaying it in a place where he can see it. (either in your room or a place in your house where there's a lot of care in preserving it)

Cons:

Imo I feel like the Dr Delicate Touch persona leans towards some of that passive aggressive energy.

- Namely the anger tone, (which might have some influence from a certain purple turtle) so Mikey still needs to be careful about that.

It won't happen all the time but, if you forgot to eat breakfast. (or any of the other important 3 meals of the day)

- Mikey will pester you into eating some food he made. He usually does this to Donnie and the box shell turtle won't budge until you finish the meal. Or at least half of it, so it can be saved for later as leftovers.

The sad puppy eyes trick is present in all the turtles but, Mikey's more dangerous since he's a master at it. So try your best not to give in to the temptation. (If you can help it)

He's the second turtle to make a beeline into danger. (and him being commited to be the bait as a distraction [like dressing up in a hippo costume with a cologne that attracts said animal or the time he wore a cucumber suit to tease Repo Mantis' mutant pet cat for one of Donnie's vlogs])

- Be prepared to patch him up as result of his rowdy energy.

[ronearoundblindly]

I’m feeling angsty 😈

For F.R.I Steve can I get

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick

And 40. Do they have any regrets in their relationship

Question are from this ask game and for the Fools Rush In series with Steve Rogers x lab tech!Reader.

Angst? You want angst, you say? I shall endeavor to deliver...

*This series deals with mature and/or sexual themes not suitable for all-ages, and these drabble-answers are no exception! Also, sorry this took forever.

6

Well, there was that time when you called Steve a 'himbo,' or when Steve was repelled by the smell of a lab accident, or when you finally snap at too many classified secrets stacked between you and Steve. You have arguments, but not all of them are knock-down drag-outs.

It's important that you two do talk in order to come to an understanding of what is truly wrong or upsetting because, as we all know, sometimes neither of you starts off by saying exactly that.

Time together alone is critical. You two are not public in almost any sense of the word, so you are skilled is setting whatever feelings there are aside until you can openly speak. Being alone sometimes still means being physically separate. Touching can be distracting and avoids the crux of the issue (usually, except the first like half a year you dated, whoops), so sorting through your feelings and putting them into words may take a while but ends up best.

There have been arguments that even take alone-alone time, where you two have some space before coming together again. It's rare, but when frustrations run really high, Steve is not a fan of that energy bleeding into physical touch or everyday tasks. He hates associating any negativity with you. (You're human. He knows that. So is he. Just...no more than absolutely necessary.)

After all that--and only after all that is worked out--Steve and you are very tender to each other. You ease back into each other. Proximity is intimacy. Steve favorite small gesture is to put his arm over you while you two read on the couch. Yours is to tuck him to your chest as you fall asleep.

It's devastating to you that Steve censors his own future.

We all like to imagine the good in our lives lasting forever, and Steve does that, too. He simply...doesn't imagine ever getting any more of you than he does now. He doesn't think to expect that part of you two together ever evolves because that would be somehow demanding...anything. He feels ungrateful for how far you've come, and that is so much more than he ever hoped to have.

Thus, he censors what he could want and expect from you. Happy homecomings, enthusiastic reunions, intense and escalating sexual relations (yes, I know that sounds clinical, but that's how his brain thinks of these things) are, each time, welcome events. He refuses to explore his desires. Steve guilts himself into being grateful and that's it.

I mention this in conjunction with arguments and making up because it's not something you can be angry at other than it's a shame he cannot incorporate his physical satisfaction with general life.

(That gets explored in 'Not A Perfect Soldier But A Good Man,' a sex pollen exposure that breaks down Steve's defenses around that.)

18

Ack, ok, wounds are...yikes. Steve fusses an unbelievable amount, even if only internally. He will plan out like six levels of 'how much to help' as you recover from something. If he is the one who got hurt (because he doesn't get sick, nope, never), then just ignore it; he'll be fine in no time. The serum is the serum is the serum. He has no business needing to be taken care of.

Bullocks.

Obviously, Steve is completely full of shit on this subject.

Once you get past his guarded dismissal, he needs tender, loving care. Steve needs reminding that not only is he still human but that being human is enough, even if he heals quickly.

In all honestly, his worst wounds are psychological. Those take patience and encouragement to speak openly.

Though unrealistic about his own health needs, Steve is (usually) thorough in his focus on your healing. At first, in the very early days, he had to be subtle, like when you hurt your hand...twice, and he's been fine accessing your mental health needs since the beginning. Seriously that's...pretty much the whole setup to this series...

There are times--adjacent to the heat of battle, let's say--when Steve does default to trusting your own strength while he continues to handle something urgent. You're an adult; he doesn't baby you. He's just gentle and as doting as possible when you two have time to be alone.

There are ongoing snippy-convos, not arguments, about taking medications for various things. He isn't fond of you dismissing your own pain--ex: you have a headache but won't take a pill--but respects your choice to treat your body how you wish. (Healthy, though, because ((and he will use this language)) he won't fucking stand for disordered eating to control your appearance. Media can fuck off in this regard.)

40

No deep-seated regrets, no. There's little things, things you both wish you'd gotten over faster or learned earlier, but all-in-all, everything that happens to you and in your relationship happens for a reason and exactly when it's supposed to happen. Lord knows, the excitement and the sorrow of the life of an Avenger leaves very little desire to spice up your world much more.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[waywardstation]

Comfort Him

Akari often brings things back from space-time distortions to show to Ingo, in hopes that it will help him regain any of his lost memories. She just didn’t consider it might bring back a memory that’s so distressing.

I wrote this based off of the prompt for the title ‘To Comfort a Parent’ that was given to me by @mismefancy for my title ask game! I also incorporated another request for more Snacktime AU. This has some sadder content than I usually write, but it still has a good ending.

OR read here on AO3!

Enjoy!

————

“I found some new things today, maybe one of these will be different?”

The sound of crinkling reached Ingo’s ears, who was in the middle of scrubbing the last soup bowl clean in the nearby river. He glanced back at Akari to see exactly what he was expecting - from where she sat on a felled log, she was pulling a variety of things out of her satchel - he immediately recognized a few snack bags. Plastic packaging that only came from the space-time distortions.

“Miss Akari, I’m beginning to suspect you purposely hide those until after meals are finished.” Ingo brought the clean bowls back to the snuffed-out cooking fire he had set up, eyeing the various things for no longer than a moment. It seemed she could never stop eating, but that was to be expected from an active teenager’s metabolism… something he did not share.

But, she was doing it for him. He was well aware of that; she often brought him things she would find in the space-time distortions - things that were entirely foreign to the people of Hisui, but were usually very familiar to Akari, and oftentimes faintly so for Ingo. Things that had come from their own time.

Ingo’s recollection of his previous station had considerably improved since his initial interactions with Akari, and they only grew with time. However, such growth was beginning to plateau, and when new memories were knocked loose, they were often small, and insignificant - usually general things, nothing personal for him.

Had he recovered just about everything he could? Akari didn’t think so, and had resorted to more trips to space-time distortions, for more chances to find something that might be their big break - that might be Ingo’s lucky chance to remember something significant.

Nothing had come close to providing that yet - sometimes a few pages ripped out of a magazine would help him dimly recall a passing general event, or an empty pokeball of modern-day design would send faint feelings of familiarity through his hands, but that was it.

It was like picking up shattered glass in the dark - there were many more tiny pieces scattered about than large ones, and reaching out blindly would more likely result in feeling the smaller shards first.

It was… a tedious process. Especially lately, where it seemed things were slowing down considerably.

However, Akari was persistent, incessantly so. She had kept trying, kept finding new things to show him. And Ingo… Ingo appreciated it.

“It’s not a lot, and it’s just items this time!” Akari pulled out a few other items from the bag. “Mostly.”

“Let’s see the items first, then,” Ingo moved to drop down beside her on the log, the dry bark creaking to accommodate him. Let dinner settle a little, first.

“Alright, here’s something I found skewered on the back spikes of a rhydon,” Akari explained, pulling something soft out of the stash. “Hopefully some kid’s not missing it too much!”

Ingo blinked at the item. It was clearly a plush toy of a Pokémon, but he didn’t immediately recognize it as one from Hisui… it didn’t help that there was a large puncture in its face, with stuffing poking out of it.

“Do you recognize this Pokémon?” Akari handed the ruined toy to Ingo, and he held it in his lap, handling it carefully as he took his time looking it over.

It was quadruped, light grey and black. Big head, tiny legs. Small, natural holes decorated the armor on its face and back, as opposed to the unnatural puncture that had destroyed one of the plush’s two big blue eyes.

That one was more like the holes that littered Ingo’s mind.

(Aron). A Pokémon that was brought to the (Battle)(Subway) for fights (on)(the)(lines), and would (nibble) on the (Subway’s)(rails) if they were of the wild variety.

…

A Pokémon that was brought for fights, were they of the wild variety.

…That didn’t seem entirely right.

“I believe the memory of this Pokémon can’t quite reach the station, yet,” Ingo rubbed at the back of his scalp with a hand, where a small aching was beginning to bother him. “But it’s halfway there.”

“It’s an aron,” Akari tried to help the memory the other half of the way. “Likes to eat metal? Evolves into lairon, then aggron?”

Ingo’s frown only deepened at the remark; the characteristic and names were faint sparks in his mind, but nothing more - he could not get a visual image of the evolutions, or even remember the typing for them. It was the exact same feeling he got when he glanced at one of the many voltorb in the highlands… or even his own sneasel.

He handed the damaged toy back over to Akari. “Ah, still not quite there, I’m afraid.”

“No, it’s ok,” A consolatory phrase. One that Ingo had grown accustomed to hearing from her every time she showed him something, anymore. Akari took the plush, and set it back in the pile, before pulling out the next item, and holding it up to him. “What about this? I found this one hanging off a cliffside!”

It was a small, plain shirt; tattered and dirty, there was a print of what almost appeared to be a braviary on it - it was hard to tell with all of the rips littered across the black fabric, though.

Nothing came to mind with this article of clothing at all, aside from the fact that he had recognized shirt designs like this were common where he came from - a realization that was a couple months old at this point, but one that had been special to Akari. It only solidified the idea that they were from a similar, if not the same, time period - she had arrived to Hisui in a plain printed shirt as well, after all.

However, nothing new sprung up at the clothing. Not even the tell-tale aching in the back of his skull, flaring whenever he managed to touch a locked-up memory that was infected with holes.

And why would it?

Ingo suspected Akari knew that more than likely, the mundane article of clothing wouldn’t be familiar to him at all. But he knew she had since resorted to bringing him absolutely anything he hadn’t seen yet.

They had already gone through a lot - Akari had told him about Pokemon gyms, about contests, and competitions. About Pokemon native to her home that she couldn’t find here, as well as others from different regions. About Pokemon centers and Pokemarts, and TMs and HMs. Everything she could think of. And it did bring a considerable amount of information back.

Of the world he had left behind, at least.

But what of his friends? His family? His personal life? How could Akari help lead him back to that prior track, when she had never been a part of it?

Questions never worked, asking about his life or loved ones, no matter how specific they got.

He needed connections.

So what else could she do, besides hope a ruined toy would unlock a memory of a potential close companion of the same form? Or that a ripped shirt would remind him of a friend or family member that had possibly happened to wear the same article of clothing?

It was all she could do, and Ingo knew it just as well as she did. At this point, she could only show him random relics left behind by the distortions.

Hoping it would somehow click.

“Anything?” Akari’s arms began to lower, looking over the top of the shirt at Ingo with cautious hope in her eyes.

“Ah, nothing of significance, I am afraid.” Ingo locked his fingers together, regret in his own gaze; he hated to disappoint her.

“Hmm…” Akari turned to fold and stuff the shirt back into her satchel. “...It’s ok.”

The same consolatory remark again. It was hidden deep, hidden well, but Ingo noticed it sounded… not exactly sadder, but more… disheartened.

She was not obligated to subject herself to such disappointment.

“Miss Akari,” From under the brim of his hat, Ingo’s eyes watched Akari’s hands, putting the shirt away. She paused to glance at him. “My apologies if this is, well, a discouraging process. I am doubly appreciative for your efforts to assist me, but I am aware the tracks are unfortunately slow… and I apologize for that. If you would rather take a break from this, I would understand.”

“What? No, no!” The shirt was forgotten entirely as hands went up, emphasizing. “It’s not! …Something I want to take a break from, I mean! I don’t want to!”

Ingo must have shown a little of his surprise on his face at her enthusiasm, because Akari noticed it.

“I just… I really want to help you get your memories back.” The teenager relaxed a little. She confined her hands to her lap, so they would not fidget with her scarf as she focused on her words. “I think about my mom a lot, and my friends, and my home. I mean, yeah, it's hard sometimes to think about, but I’m really glad I have them. I want you to have that too.”

She knew Ingo wanted it very much; she could see it in his features whenever he listened to her talk about her memories. Not jealousy or envy, but a specific type of sadness. He was able to hide it well, but his eyes would always give him away.

“It doesn’t bother me, even if it takes a while.” She kept going. “It’s not your fault either, but… I don’t look at it like that anyways. I just want to help, any way I can. Even if it takes time.”

The things Ingo had done for her during her time in Hisui went through her mind. How he had led her, accompanied her through the mountains to his noble. How he encouraged her, and appreciated her company. How he taught her how to do certain things, and did his best to guide her when she felt confused. How he made her feel less lonely in a way her other friends couldn’t here in Hisui, the only other person in this world that had come from a previous one before, just like her.

But these things didn’t leave her mouth.

“You’ve done a lot for me.” She simply summed up, instead. “I’d be happy to do something back for you.”

She turned away, back to her pile before Ingo could possibly try and assure her that really, it was alright (but in doing so, she missed the look of appreciation that found its way into his eyes). The sound of shifting fabric was replaced with the crinkling he had first heard earlier.

“Ok, snacktime. Here, try this one first.” Akari held out a small bag to Ingo, wanting him to take it. “You haven’t had these before, right? It’s popcorn, I think.”

The bag was a bright blue, featuring a pair of Pokémon he couldn’t quite recall - small brown bodies, with large fluffy heads. One had a pair of curled green horns, the other blue.

Popping the bag open, Ingo could see the popcorn inside; white and yellow puffs that resembled the Pokémon’s fluffy cotton, and covered in an orange dust.

“You’re correct, as you oftentimes are with these,” Ingo offered the opened bag to Akari as he always did, and she grabbed a messy handful of the puffs to munch on. Ingo took a handful himself, popping them into his mouth one at a time as opposed to Akari, who shoved it all in at once.

Hmm…

Definitely stale.

Just like how they always were in the (vending)(machine) by the (Battle)(Subway). Stale. (Emmet) liked them, but he didn’t know anyone else who did.

…

Just like how they always were. Stale. Someone liked them, but he didn’t know anyone else who did.

Well, that was a lot of nothing, but he shouldn’t be surprised, seeing as how he apparently never really touched the stuff to begin with.

“I think this bag was a little old,” Akari commented with a full mouth, rubbing some of the cheese dust from off her face.

“I believe they’re just like that,” Ingo finished off the popcorn, before neatly flattening the empty bag and handing it back to Akari - he would have simply crumpled it, but he knew she liked to keep and collect some of the packaging to later show to Rei. “But unfortunately, that is the only memory that’s returned to the station; my apologies.”

Once again, Ingo could sense the modicum of disappointment that she couldn’t quite hide with the rest. She took the bag back and folded it neatly, slipping it into her satchel. “No! It’s ok, Ingo, really.”

The warden couldn’t help but feel bad again. Ingo was sort of hoping that was the last thing she had, so that he wouldn’t have to disappoint her for a fourth time tonight. But apparently, she wasn’t done.

“Alright, last thing, I promise,” Akari picked up a small, stocky jar. “I think it’s a drink. Maybe a protein shake, or something-“

She paused as she got a better look at the item in her hands. It was much easier to identify things when she wasn’t swiping things from off the ground, going thirty-something miles an hour from atop Lord Wyrdeer’s back.

“Wait no, nevermind, it’s not a drink. Well, for people, at least. It’s um, a jar of carbos,” slightly surprised, Akari took note of the matching blue cap and triangle symbol on the front - it had been hard to notice with all the dirt that covered it. “Vitamin mix for Pokemon. There are other types too, like Zinc, and Protein… I don’t think I’ve found any of them in a distortion yet, though. I know it’s a long shot, but maybe… see if it reminds you of anything?”

She held the jar out to Ingo. Another offer for him to try again. To try one more time. For her.

A deep breath. Scared to disappoint her again. Ingo reached out, taking the jar in his fingers. “Alright.”

The warden brushed some of the dirt off as he inspected the item more thoroughly. The plastic container was covered in little scratch marks, probably banged up from when it fell through the distortion. The blue triangle on the container stared back at him, a label that didn’t hold much meaning or significance to him. It stirred weak familiarity as a jar of vitamins though, riding off the words of explanation Akari had given.

Out of habit, Ingo turned the carbos over in his hands, his eyes following the label strip as he turned the jar, until-

There was a sticker on the back of the container, stamped over the labeling. Ingo squinted at it, reading over the words - The writing was not Hisuian, just like everything else Akari would fish from the distortions. It was thankfully Galarian, which he could read, but it still took a moment. The scuffed state of the sticker didn’t help either, but Ingo could eventually make out:

CARBOS - 1BP

THANK YOU FOR RIDING THE BATTLE SUBWAY. ENJOY YOUR PRIZE. WE HOPE TO SEE YOU RIDING THE LINES AGAIN SOON. FOLLOW THE RULES AND DRIVE SAFELY!

-INGO AND EMMET

Ingo blinked.

Emmet had come up with that message himself, believing the words of support on the prizes would be appreciated by the trainers. Emmet had run a few variations of the message by him when they were still adjusting to their top positions in the place.

This was a BP exchange item from the Battle Subway. It cost exactly 1BP, and would raise a pokemon’s speed. Valuable, but essential to trainers who wanted to help their Pokemon reach their full potential. Which is why Emmet wanted to lower its cost from 10BP to 1BP.

Emmet always told him he’d start putting this stuff in his coffee, to make him finally start moving faster in the mornings. And he actually did it, once.

There were no holes in these thoughts.

These disconnected, jumbled recollections simultaneously shot like an arrow through Ingo’s brain, a quick, sharp stab before all the pain - all the realization - caught up with it, and bloomed out. Ingo could barely process the memories flooding back.

Emmet. That’s who he was - that’s who the man in white was. Emmet. His brother, who he ran the Battle Subway with.

Emmet’s actual appearance was still just as murky, as were any experiences with him outside of the limited information that was attached to this jar of carbos. But Ingo had something.

His brother was encouraging, to think of putting messages like this onto prizes for trainers, and trusting to come to him for approval on it. His brother was considerate for making prizes like carbos more affordable for trainers, and he was, well… apparently a bit mischievous for putting the nasty stuff in his morning coffee.

He was a good brother though. A brother that he loved dearly, and a brother that loved him back just as much. Ingo knew it. Why else would such a surge of emotions be connected to these sparse memories? His mind could not explain his feelings with memories, but his heart could remember them all the same.

It reassured him, even if he didn’t understand it.

A confused sound left Ingo’s throat, a deep heave in his chest as he tried to keep his head above the rising waters. He looked up to Akari, who was watching him intently, in hopes that she would extend a branch and help him stay afloat.

She blinked at wide grey eyes. “Did you-?”

“My brother-” His fingers were loose around the plastic container, the carbos practically forgotten in his hands. “I have a brother. His… name is Emmet. He works in the Battle Subway, as did I.”

He held up the jar in his hands, now remembered, and turned it around for her to see the sticker - the confusion on her face had been immediate, wondering how he got all of that from a jar of carbos.

“This is a prize item that could be obtained from the Battle Subway, something that could be exchanged for BP. I can’t quite recall what BP stands for, but it was treated as currency for our system…”

As Ingo went on, Akari studied the scuffed sticker on the jar, still in his hands. When her eyes drifted over Ingo and Emmet’s names, her expression lit up, eyes bright as she smiled wide.

“Oh, Ingo! this is great!” Akari jumped up, hardly able to sit still with the excitement buzzing in her chest, making big gestures with her hands. “This is- this is a big thing! You remembered something! You have a brother! And you remember him! And your job, too!”

Akari’s infectious enthusiasm spread to Ingo, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards into a smile as she continued to talk. He did remember. He took another glance down at the worn sticker on the carbos, as if reading Emmet’s name again would bring back more memories.

“You work at the Battle Subway!” Akari kept going, talking a mile a minute. “Which means you’ve got to be from Unova! When I was really young, my mom and I would go there for contests she was in! We went on Gear Station’s subway lines too! I could have already met you and not even known it! Ingo, wouldn’t that be great? I mean, just-!”

Clearly, the prospect of not only living in the exact same timeframe, but also possibly having already met before, was exciting Akari beyond belief.

But as she went on, her words only turned to static in Ingo’s ears.

It was entirely unintentional - he would never purposely tune her out like that. But it was hard not to do it when the third line on the sticker had snagged his attention in its entirety, working its way through his mind as another set of gears started turning in his head.

FOLLOW THE RULES AND DRIVE SAFELY!

Ingo ran his thumb over the rough texture of the scuffed sticker, over the words.

A familiar phrase to him. That was what he always said. He always said that when initiating a battle at the training grounds. Because it always felt right to say so.

But, Emmet was the one who had written the message on this sticker.

These were Emmet’s words.

It was a deep feeling in his gut. They were not his own. They were his brother’s. His dear brother’s. Those were Emmet’s words that had stuck with him, and remained in his heart.

Had he always been saying Emmet’s phrases? No wonder they always filled him with such will. Such determination. They were the words of his brother. His encouraging, trusting, compassionate, mischievous brother.

Emmet’s words had left him with a will to keep going when he had been separated, even if he didn’t realize it until now. But what had he left Emmet with?

Did he leave him with anything at all? Did Emmet know where he was? That he was still alive?

Did he leave Emmet all alone, for all this time?

Ingo could not recall any of the answers, but a deep, nauseating bubble of grief filled his chest at the questions before it could go any deeper.

His heart could remember what his mind could not. He did not understand the intensity. And this time, it terrified him.

Grief only hurt like this when something you dearly cared about was wronged.

Something had happened before he had departed from his previous station, to this one in Hisui. Something terrible, and he knew it involved Emmet.

What if he couldn’t ever get back to him, and fix it? What if he was stuck here in Hisui permanently?

The new, upsetting wave of emotions in his heart welled up out of his chest, unable to be contained, forced down deep the way tried so hard to maintain sometimes. They filled his eyes, blurring his vision, until they began to stream down his face.

“...My mom said that on the first trip, when I was really little, I got lost at the station,” Akari continued on, oblivious. “And that staff helped her find me! What if you had talked to my mom? Or your brother did? Or even-”

Any further words died in Akari’s throat at the sound of a sniff, and her excitement followed her words as she turned to see Ingo. One hand still held on to the carbos jar, but he was rubbing his eyes with the other, catching tears with the heel of his palm.

…Was he crying?

“Ingo?” A foreign, novel anxiety sprang up in Akari’s chest, cold and uncomfortable.

Ingo does not cry.

“Are… you ok?”

A glance up from under the brim of his tattered hat, eyes heavy with tears.

“I am alright, Miss Akari,” Ingo sniffed, “It’s just that…Emmet, I don’t- I believe something happened, before… and I am afraid that I’ll be unable to-“

The confusing emotions kept pushing. The tears kept falling. Ingo shut his eyes tight, which only squeezed out a few more fresh ones. A deep breath around the swell in his throat.

He did not want to burden Akari with this. He was the adult, and she was a child, she shouldn’t have to-

“…Please excuse me,” Ingo sniffed again, wiping at the tears with his sleeve as he looked away. They wouldn’t stop coming. “I- I don’t wish to… I can’t seem to-“

It was all he could get out before his voice cracked. He stopped hopelessly attempting to form a sentence, and relented to simply choking back a sob. It was quiet, in a way. He suppressed himself so as not to openly weep, but each stutter of breath was still agonizing. Leaning forward to hide his eyes under the brim of his cap, the tears came down.

Akari was struck with a cold shock, unsure what to do. She had never seen Ingo like this. He had never cried, regardless of whether it was simply misty eyes, or relentless tears being shed. And the sound of him sobbing was so foreign to her; it felt so wrong. So sad.

At least, she had never seen him do such things.

Her heart clenched at the possibility that perhaps it was different when it came to times of solitary, when he was alone and no one was watching.

But what if it wasn’t like that either? He could have just as easily been bottling these feelings up inside, consciously or subconsciously, letting things grow tighter and tighter in a fragile heart, until the pressure shattered it.

Both thoughts made Akari all the more appreciative that they were out in the wilderness, away from any prying eyes and attentive ears of the Jubilife villagers. She was sure Ingo felt doubly grateful. Because either way, it was obvious he needed to get it out.

Ingo restrained a few more sobs before he slumped forward into his hands, elbows propped weakly against his knees. Perhaps it was out of grief weighing heavy on his shoulders, or it was simply to hide his face, and the tears that rolled down it. Either way, Akari’s heart ached, squeezing so hard in her chest that she almost felt nauseous.

She had never seen him like this.

Akari moved to sit back down on the log next to Ingo. She was still for a moment as his shoulders jolted with each stifled choke, before hesitantly reaching around his middle as best she could in a hug.

She said nothing as she leaned against him, embracing him - what could she possibly say? Ingo continued to sob. She knew he probably couldn’t stop now even if he wanted to - containing such strong and built-up emotions after letting them out was comparable to fitting a steelix into a pickling jar. But a heavy arm moved, shuddering, and he turned his torso to better accommodate her efforts, and embrace her back.

Akari readily took the opportunity, and buried herself into his warm front, securing her arms around his back. She felt his arms settle around her in turn, holding onto the comfort she was offering. The way his chest stuttered, bouts of sporadic breathing interrupting an otherwise-smooth cycle, only made Akari settle further against him, practically in an effort to ease it.

He was hurting.

And he probably had been for a long time, even if he didn’t realize it.

Akari had always assumed Ingo’s amnesia was a curse. All it had ever seemed to do was cause strife - Ingo would doubt himself on many things due to it. And he never spoke about it out loud, but Akari could tell he would occasionally question subjects pertaining to himself and his previous life that she didn’t want him to even entertain.

What was he like before Hisui - as a person? Were people as wary to trust him in his own time as they are here? Did they have reasons not to trust him? Was his morality previously… tarnished? Did he do something wrong - something wrong enough to land him here in Hisui?

It was a very slippery slope of bad thoughts that Akari always wanted him to dismiss. She hated the thought of them, but how could one not at least wonder about it from time to time, if they had no memories of the person they were before?

But now, Akari believed it had been a blessing. He couldn’t miss the things he terribly loved if he didn’t remember them. He couldn’t worry over loved ones he didn’t remember, or ache for home if he couldn’t recall what home felt like. He couldn’t torment himself over the events leading up to his demise, or think of what he could have done differently, if he didn’t recall what had happened before. He couldn’t lament his previous life progressing without him if he didn’t know how good he really had it. He couldn’t question if there was a plan for him like there were plans for Akari, if he didn’t realize their methods of arrival were vastly different.

He could not beg for a ticket back home if he didn’t know enough about what home actually was, and what unfinished business he left behind, to consider it terrifying that the trip might possibly be a one-way deal.

His amnesia had been protecting him from some terribly distressing feelings, and she had dug them back up.

All with a jar of carbos.

Akari felt her throat tighten uncomfortably as blurry stinging welled up in her eyes. Ingo’s tunic caught a tear as it fell; an infectious action in turn from a cold wetness spreading on her shoulder, his own continued tears.

She had never seen him like this.

“I’m so sorry,” Akari’s voice was muffled against his tunic. She continued to feel the sporadic heaves of Ingo’s lungs, stuttering around his sobs; he said nothing in his current state, as she didn’t think he even could. But the shakey, reassuring squeeze he gave her told her that he appreciated the gesture.

He had always been there to comfort and ease her. To tell her that things were ok, and that he would fix whatever was wrong to the best of his abilities. Several times, she had admittedly cried to him about her homesickness, and her mother, and her friends. And he always listened. Always reassured her. Always indulged in her good memories, and spoke well of her friends and family that he had never even met.

It felt almost jarring to be in such a position now, the other way around where she was the one comforting him over such things. She sometimes forgot that he was really only around twice her age, three times at the most. That he was not only just as lost in this world as she was, but even deeper in the thickets than her… and yet he was always trying to push her forward, closer to the clearing and out of the woods.

He was such a sturdy, supportive foundation in this unstable reality for her, that she oftentimes (and shamefully) forgot he was just as scared of the uncertain future, and his place within it, as she was… if not more.

A distressing recollection might have been the catalyst for the tears, but she knew more was pouring out than just that. Months of built up stress, and confusion, and worrying-

He needed someone to tell him it would be alright too.

He missed home, just like her.

She hugged him tighter, squeezing.

“You’ll get back home. To Emmet. And everyone else who cares about you. I’ll fulfill my purpose here, I’ll earn my way back, and, I-I‘ll take you with me.” Akari spoke against his chest. The wetness continued to spread over her shoulder. “I won’t leave you here. No matter what. You… you’re going to see them all again.”

The tears kept coming from above her. Akari’s unspoken words of appreciation from earlier welled up in her heart - why did she never say them to him?

“You’ve helped me so much,” she let the words flow. “You spend time with me, and you care about me, and listen to me, and… I miss my mom a lot, but I don’t feel so alone here when I’m with you. It would be… very different without you here. And I… I know Emmet is feeling that. I know he wants you back. I’m taking you back with me, and you’re going to see him again, and whatever happened will be fixed.”

Ingo had needed to hear that. A deep breath shuddered as he slumped forward. Another gentle squeeze in his arms as he continued to quietly cry. Broken heaves of breath through restrained sobs.

Akari remained leaned against him, head resting close to his aching heart.

She would not leave him in this place.

They sat like that for a while, the cold darkness of the wilderness surrounding them. Ingo continued to cry, and Akari let him.

She had never seen him like this, because he had always tried his hardest not to let anyone, especially her, see him like this. He did not want to burden her with his stressors. But she did not see it as a burden at all.

She was going to complete her purpose. She was going to earn her way back home. She was going to take Ingo with her.

She would not leave him in this place.

Things would be ok.

[davyjonesblogger]

Comforting you

Pairing: Davy Jones x reader

Warning: None

Requested: No

Note: Happy Thanksgiving!!! 🍁🍂

***

• If there’s something wrong you’re trying to hide from him, he’ll know right away and he isn’t afraid to confront you about it

• At first, he’ll think it’s because of something he’s done and you’re trying to lie for him

• Davy is never the reason you’re upset, but you know he must be told, reminded so the he is reassured and doesn’t have to worry about that possibility

• Though Davy is no good in providing comfort for you, he wants to try and does it anyway because you’re the only one he truly cares for and though he’s not good at the first attempt, you still really appreciate his effort

• Comfort means that you get to see a side of Davy Jones that no one else gets to see and that’s really because he has a soft sports for you, which grows each moment spent with you

• After admitting that there is something wrong, you try to avoid any more details but Davy doesn’t let it go until you tell him fully at least what’s going on

• In the beginning, all he feels he can really do is listen intently but sincerely. If you do want to talk more about it later on, he’s still there to listen

• For later comfort, he will hold you as you tell him and he will gently hush you if he hears your voice begin to crack, remind you to take a break and save your breath

• Sometimes when you can’t seem to recover after holding your breath for a minute or two, he would suggest that you get some rest

• When you refuse to, you become quiet and hold onto him even tighter, but not too much in fear of hurting him, which is the last thing you wanted to happen

• Davy understands, but when you refused to, that’s when he has to pull you away and turn the suggestion into an order, promising he would still be there when you wake up

• You give in eventually, allowing yourself to drift off to sleep in his embrace

• As you doze, you hear a set of footsteps down the hall from where the captain’s cabin was located, a crew mate who’s fairly new onboard the Dutchman that got lost along the way to his own cabin

• You figured Davy grew uncomfortable upon realizing that the door was still open and the fact that anyone could walk in any second

• It was a terrifying thought for him, as you feel Davy shift uncomfortably before speaking to the new lad, snapping at him to get back to work unless he wants to meet a horrible fate with the kraken

• “If you know what’s best for you, it would be in your best interest to not stare at yer captain’ and go back ta work!”

• Even though you felt bad for the now petrified crew mate, you couldn’t help but laugh a little at the event that had just taken place

• If you can’t fall asleep, Davy will you stories of his past. But he never shares the memories that are the most painful before his days in the Dutchman

• By far, you are the only one who he has been this much open to

• You both shared one major thing in common, and that was you both have trust issues due to some betrayal in the past, yet, you trust each other enough to tell each other almost anything

• Despite having each other’s trust, you still have your limits

• “I hear you have trust issues?” Davy once asked, but with extreme caution

• “You would to if the person you once loved more than anything betrayed you.”

• Which was a bold move for you to make such a statement, however, he doesn’t get angry at all and instead, fully understands how you must be feeling

• That was just enough done to have Davy trust you a little more to share bits and pieces of his dark past with you and in return, you share some of your own

• With the two of you together, it is now possible to step ahead and move forward as you leave the past behind you for good

• In the hardest times, Davy would always remind you that he was there for you in a way he didn’t have to put it into words

• A simple side embrace or soft brush of your shoulder up against his while walking by was just enough to remind you

• As time goes on, Davy gets better at providing the right kind of comfort you need

• You appreciate Davy’s effort nonetheless

• When it comes to comforting you, from now on, Davy feels overprotective of you. Especially in the most critical moments

• That just means when he unleashes his cruelty onto others who are innocent and don’t deserve such treatment, he sends you away so you would have to witness a brutal act. Even though you had mistakenly seen it occur once during your time there

• He almost lost you for it and therefore, he wants to prevent that from ever happening again

• Part of the little trust you had in him withered away after witnessing the first lashing

• Although this creates a rough patch in your relationship, you somehow work together to put the past behind you, over your shoulder as if it never happened

***

@davyjonesblogger @kyuoki

[jurassic-girlie]

Benji Week 2024

tw for eating issues (Search 'Luckyisshe' on Ao3 for more notes)

"Smaller Than This"

Day 2 Prompt: Growth Spurt

“It’s funny,” Ben started as he set his plate down, “a few years ago I would have refused everything on this plate. Wouldn’t have touched a single thing… but now, barely even a second thought goes into it!” he continued, taking a forkful into his mouth.

“Yeah?” Kenji looked up at him, “That's really good, Ben, great actually. I’m really proud of you,”. 

The boys exchanged smiles and continued eating.

“Absolutely unrelated, but did you want to watch a movie once we’re done? No rush, of course, but that ‘Fall’ movie just came out and I wanted to watch it with you. I don’t know, maybe I could get scared and hug you to make it better?”. Kenji looked towards Ben with a hopeful expression. 

“Sorry, can’t. I’ve got to work out after this, you’re welcome to join me though,”.

“Ben…”

“What?”

“That’s every day this week so far, it’s okay to take a break,”.

“Hey, you’re the one who’s always talking about keeping the gains! Gotta stay active in case any dinos attack, y’know?” Ben attempted to keep a playful demeanor, but Kenji remained serious.

“Listen, Ben, I know you aren’t on your treatment plan anymore, but I remember it like the back of my hand. It specifically mentioned to keep you from exercising after meals… along with the bathroom and the shower, so you can’t, you know…” Kenji trailed off.

“Exactly. I don’t have to follow the plan anymore, therefore I can do what I want Kenj. I promise I’m being careful, you don’t have to worry that pretty little head of yours so much,”.

“But Ben I am worried. I’ve been reading some articles to try and understand this better. Sometimes while in recovery people can swap one eating disorder for another, and I’m worried that’s happening to you. Be honest with me, please. Are you relapsing?”.

“Of course not! You remember how bad things got when I was actually relapsing, back in like, 2018. I’m nowhere near there, I’m just enjoying some light exercise,”.

Kenji thought about it for a moment, after all Ben’s relapse was infamous and terrifying within the CampFam. That summer, Ben had gone to work with Mae on Mantah Corp Island. Mae, to no fault of her own, was under the perception that Ben had fully recovered. In her mind he was treated after being rescued from the island and that was that. She, like everyone else, had assumed that he was fine, and he was free to do what he pleased. When Ben stopped showing up for meals she didn’t question it, she just figured that he was finding time to eat on his own. After all, they were busy managing a dinosaur island by themselves, there wasn’t time to check in every hour. 

Ben started dropping weight, slowly at first, but it progressed as time went on. Mae kicked herself for not realizing what was happening sooner, but by the time she had noticed, it was too late. By early autumn Ben was hospitalized for his eating disorder for the second time in his life. It was this event that led to the Nublar Six researching much more about eating disorders than the average person.

Remembering this, Kenji shook his head. “No. No, I love you but I know what you’re doing. You don’t have to be underweight to be relapsing, Ben, you know that. You don’t have to skip every meal to be relapsing. You don't have to skip any meals to be relapsing. Over-exercising, however, is a form of purging. Purging means a relapse. So tell me Ben, what’s going on?” Kenji tried to make eye contact, though he didn’t want Ben to see the tears welling in his eyes.

Ben sighed. “I don’t know. I just– I feel enormous. I know that’s a good thing, gaining weight and getting taller and everything, but it just feels wrong. I’ve been skinny all of my life up until now. I just feel like it’s not as bad if I can at least gain muscle instead of fat. Then it feels more like I deserve to eat…” he revealed before he thought about what he was admitting.

“Ben…” Kenji sat in heartbroken disbelief. 

“Just forget I said anythi–”

“No,” Kenji cut him off, “help me understand,”.

“Well… obviously recovery has led to a lot of growth spurts, and I love that everyone is trying to be nice, and they’re only talking about how tall I am, but the others keep making comments about how big I’ve gotten, or how much harder I am to hug. I just can’t help myself from thinking they’re talking about my weight. Every time they call me huge, I imagine them judging me for being fat, it makes me feel disgusting,”.

Kenji took a moment to collect his thoughts. He pulled Ben into a hug before speaking. “I am so, so sorry. I’ll let everyone know immediately, okay? It’s unfair to you that we didn’t even consider that. Just, please, promise me you’ll tell me if you feel this way again? If anything is even borderline triggering to you, promise me you’d let me know?” His voice wavered and tears rolled down his cheeks, but Ben didn’t mention it.

“I promise, Kenj. I promise. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner,”.

“Shush, don’t apologize,”. Kenji pulled him tighter into the hug. “I’ll let them know right now, okay?”

“Okay,”. Ben pulled out of the hug. “Hey, um… I’m gonna get seconds, do you, uh, want any?”

“Yeah, for sure,”. Kenji smiled.

As Ben refilled their plates, Kenji pulled out his phone and started typing out a message. Ben noticed he didn’t receive the notification once Kenji put his phone down, though he didn’t say anything.

—-

Benjamin Pincus’ Secret Support Group 

Hey guys, Ben just shared some pretty vital info with me. Basically he said when we make comments about him being “big” or “huge” it triggers him really bad. I think it’s best that from now on we avoid making any comments about his appearance (height, weight, muscle etc. ). And just keep an eye out, he might be on the verge of a relapse /:

[digital-chance]

writeblr intro

hey i'm chance! i've done a writeblr intro recently but i didn't like it, so this is take 2. here's the old one.

─── about me -⋆⋅☆

name : chance

pronouns : they/he

likes : cyberpunk, romance, anime, kpop, music, history, design

age : 20

i tend to swear both on here and in my writing, so if you're sensitive to that, i don't think my blog or work is for you. i also use the word 'queer' a lot since i self-identify as such, when i do choose to self-identify.

i'm interested in so much, which would be impossible to fully state. there are so many new things out there and i love learning about them all!! this blog is mainly for writing but i'm not strict on that.

i also am pretty sure i'm neurodivergent (no diagnosis or anything yet) and tend to delve into hyper-fixations for weeks at a time. if i haven't posted for a while, it's probably because of one of my other hyper-fixations or school.

i'm going to college for my bachelor's in graphic design, which might make my responses during the school year delayed.

i'm always open to ask or tag games!! it might take me a few to respond but i'll respond.

─── writing -⋆⋅☆

you'll find a lot of diverse characters, the found/chosen family trope, romance or rom-com, angst, and references to actual history or historical events within my work. sometimes i throw in a little art fact since i'm an art student. in nearly every one of my works you can find a prominent lgbtq+ character, too.

i write for original works and fanfiction alike. i often alternate what project i'm writing on and tend to leave wips unfinished. there's no one specific fandom that i'm in since i tend to dabble in everything.

i enjoy reading all sorts of stories, but some of the tropes and genres that have a special place in my heart include:

[ genres : romance . action . sci-fi . dystopian . heists . cyberpunk . horror . comedy . mystery ] [ tropes : friends to lovers , enemies to lovers , fake/pretend relationship , college au , coffee shop au , domestic , fluff , angst ]

─── ⋆ looking for ⋆⋅☆

more writers to follow!

good vibes & friends

writing advice & critique buddies (will help critique ur work too)

─── works in progress -⋆⋅☆

nova futurum | original work | #wip: nova futurum

─── ⋆ status : brainstorming

a lgbtq+ mafia cyberpunk story with the working title "Nova Futurum." i've got the general information down and i'm currently working on fleshing out my main characters. for now it's in the very basic stages, but feel free to ask me about it or give any tips!

you still would've been mine | fanfiction | #wip: yswbm

─── ⋆ status : outlining, research, & writing draft 1

Steven "Steve" Rogers wakes up in the 21st century after crashing into the ice in 1942, leaving behind his life as the mascot of the USA along with his childhood in Brooklyn NYC. The Winter Soldier, a man left behind in the war recovers his memories as the man known as James "Bucky" Buchanan Barnes after meeting Steve in the modern time. Steve and Bucky recall their childhood and their experience in the war as they recover.

matchbreakers | original work | #wip: match

─── ⋆ status : brainstorming

xavier works at match breakers. instead of setting people up on blind dates, he goes to dates and breaks up the couple. all sorts of people hire him, disapproving parents, jealous ex's, and those scared to see their ex's angry side. what he doesn't expect is falling in love with one of his own clients.

scars of duty | original work | #wip: sod

─── ⋆ status : plotting

Lucian is a hero who protects the city of Haines and the other members of his hero's league. They're a small-name hero just trying to make do with what they've got. A villain new to the city shows up and shakes Lucian’s perception of their own superpowers and the world.

< tag lists: if you'd like to be added for any project, let me know. i'm not the greatest at remembering the tag list but i will try! >

─── ⋆ more of my socials & my design portfolio

[voukkake]

Like Minds AU - Set after the events of the movie

⚠️ (TW- references implying incest, ped0-philia and several psychological traumatic events, discretion is advised) MDNI⚠️

-English is not my first language so I'm sorry in advance if I made some grammatical mistake.

-This isn't a fanfic, it's more an idea, a veeery long idea. Enjoy.

Due to the rain at the last minute, the direction of the shotgun deviated, hitting Nigel in the neck and part of the jaw, he was hospitalized after Alex in a moment of empathy called the ambulance. While spending a month in hospital Alex is questioned and Nigel's paternal uncles come to see him. When Nigel manages to recover for the most part, he is prosecuted due to Alex's testimony, however he escapes a sentence and instead the judge admits him to the Bethlem psychiatric center for 16 months since his lawyer alleged a psychotic break and hints of schizophrenia due to his mother's constant abuse and his father's neglect. This treatment is due to the fact that in the psychiatric hospital they want to overcome his "mental" disorder and also the fact of his possible reintegration into society and university studies.

His doctor in charge is Robert H. Gadling, who is in charge of the boy's background check and verifying that his process is on the right track. Alex's father makes him move to London to continue his education. Nigel at first is totally silent and doesn't talk to anyone, not even the nurses, he doesn't take his medicine or eat, since that is the punishment he thinks he has received for not fulfilling his duty. Two weeks of this behavior pass and the uncles claim the incompetence of the hospital by deliberately ignoring care for their nephew. Robert decides to speak directly with him and Nigel, upon seeing him, tells him everything about his mother. Who, seeing his little interest in girls at the age of 6, began to make him have relationships with her to stimulate his mind. He describes everything in detail, ending with "Sometimes I think it would have been better if my father raped me... That way at least I would have had a chance to experiment with the genre that appeals to me." He also admits that he masturbates every night as he needs to release stress or he would kill someone.

The doctor notes the observations and although Nigel is clearly gay he ignores the implication and tells no one. In Nigel's diary he describes Robert as a knight, a guardian, a symbol of advancement and progress, a symbol of sun and day, which was in contrast to his own moon and night attitude. Weeks go by and Nigel starts taking his meds, also eats twice a day, writes a diary and only talks to the doctor, explaining his motives and his seemingly unfounded hatred of women. He also tells him that he lost interest in Alex, who he considers a total betrayer of his trust and the punishment will await him in his next life.

One afternoon Nigel peers at the doctor noticing an engagement ring and just then Robert's wife arrives, noticeably pregnant. That same afternoon Robert tells him that the H in his name stands for Hob, a very old nickname that was passed down through the generations in his family and no one calls him that, but Nigel can use it as a symbol of trust. A week later when Robert arrives early he hears a piercing scream and runs to find one of the security guards brutally raping Nigel in his room, who was crying and shaking, in a fit of rage the doctor takes the guard and beats him until leaving him unconscious, calling the police in his process. He helps Nigel and takes him to the hospital. After the incident, the guard repeats over and over again that it was Nigel who had been seducing him for days and the young man asked him to be rough and dry, that he had been enjoying it until suddenly his expression changed completely and he began to scream nonsense, however, no one believes him and he is locked up. At the hospital, Nigel cries every day and one day when his uncles go to visit him, Robert tells them that he cannot stay in the psychiatric hospital until the case is resolved, but despite this, the uncles refuse to give him accommodation, since they consider that it would be unwise as his social status would be greatly affected by the news.

Robert hears Nigel call his name and runs to his aid, commenting that he would arrange to take him home the next day that afternoon, feeling he was making good progress. Finally, as a promise, he leaves his jacket and gives him a small kiss on the forehead, causing Nigel to remain completely static.

Already installed in his new "home" Nigel steals used underwear from the doctor and harasses his wife without her noticing. One afternoon when he is alone with her in the living room he asks her the sex of the baby, to which she answers that it will be a girl. Robert's wife also notices that his husband's underwear has been stained and sticky for several weeks, but does not comment because she is more concerned about her pregnancy. Nigel asks her out of the blue one day if she thinks Robert's going to rape his daughter when she tells him that she likes girls to better pave the way for other men so that the girl grows up normally. Eleanor is frightened and calls her husband, when he arrives, Eleanor has already packed her suitcases and tells him she was to spend the night at her mother's house since she does not want that phenomenon around for the insinuation. (At this point Hob hasn't really told his wife why Nigel is staying at his house) The doctor lets her go and angrily confronts the boy, who simply ignores him and goes up to his room, closing the door.

The next day the doctor talks to one of his colleagues and she recommends that he get rid of the boy since he is a hopeless case, that someone with such a mashed mind will never find a place in society and will live confined to his madness and disturbance. She also mentions that Nigel will never be able to replace Robyn (Robert's first child with Eleanor and who had passed away just two years ago at 16 due to an accident on a school trip).

That same day in the afternoon, the doc packs Nigel's bags and when the boy realizes that they are going to hospitalize him in a new place, he begs and begs Hob not to abandon him, to forgive him since his intention was never to bother him or anyone, neither he or his wife, while crying inconsolably clinging to him. That moves the doctor's heart and takes him back home and talks to Eleanor confessing the reasons why Nigel was with them, and promising better behavior from the boy. She agrees and in a turn of events Nigel proves better and even helps her with the housework while Hob is away at work. Nigel learns to cook, wash, iron and even sew while receiving classes at home.

At night Nigel sneaks into Eleanor and Robert's room, gently kissing him on the lips and once even feeling his dick above the blanket. One night Eleanor goes out with her mother for a doctor's visit and spends the night at her house leaving Hob and Nigel alone, they live together as normal until Nigel uses various sleeping pills Eleanor had and grinds them up to put Hob to sleep. Already in a deep sleep Nigel abuses Hob, rubbing against him, kissing him and claiming that he will soon be his knight, his and his alone. One morning Hob wakes Nigel up to surprise him, takes him to the basement and shows him his things, bottles, tools and so on, commenting that he made a deal with the court to keep him under supervision whenever he wanted to experiment on dead animals since this would serve to control their creativity. A totally shocked Nigel kisses Hob, and apologizes afterwards. Hob takes this in stride as it means to him that the boy is opening up to him and he trusts him more so he decides to let it go.

After two months Eleanor begins to get sick, she is eight months pregnant but due to her health she is suddenly hospitalized. A week later she dies during childbirth and the baby with her. The following week Eleanor's mother dies in a car accident. Due to the loss and depression of the moment, Hob takes a few months off from his work and another psychiatrist is assigned to Nigel, surprisingly Nigel accepts on the condition that he stay in Hob's home, claiming that he needed someone to take care of him, he lawyer accepts the deal, as those months of improvement convince the jury that Nigel is "vindicating himself".

To help Hob, Nigel walks past him, cooks for him, reads to him stories, and one day after Hob has come home from a bar completely drunk, Nigel takes the late wife's lace pajamas off one of his shelves, puts on his perfume and manages to seduce his doctor, who disconsolately clings to the young man in search of comfort and affection. As the hangover hits him hard, the doctor does not remember anything but notices subtle changes in Nigel's way of acting, he is much more attentive, he cooks excellently and wears more "feminine" clothes for a man, and although he tries to deny it for the good of his patient begins to touch the young man a little more intimately. One day they cook together, leading one thing to another, a couple of shots of wine, Nigel seduces him enough to take it in the kitchen, then at the table and finally in Hob's room.

One afternoon two of Robert's co-workers knock on the door, since they have not heard news from their friend, Nigel opens for them, who is slightly blushing and with a cold attitude mentions that Hob is fine, slamming the door shut and surprising to both, this time the partner hits and threatens to call the police, this time the one who comes out is Robert and talks to both, mentioning that he had already spoken with the director of the psychiatric hospital and would start working again the following week. Both companions share that their attitude is strange, however they let it go.

Months pass, Hob is back at work, and Nigel continues to receive therapy and medication from a new psychiatrist. Hob learns from the news that the coroner who did the autopsy on Eleanor has been found dead and that the body has been weeks old. For Nigel's 18th birthday, the uncles send him a gift and an invitation to his birthday party which meant that everyone in the family circle could see that he was recovering successfully and thus not lose more prestige, they also inform him that he must appear at the court for the paperwork and receipt of the shares of his father, who since death had left everything in Nigel's name, not because he wanted to, but rather because Nigel convinced his mother to convince his father to leave everything to his name. Hob is given a family logo lighter and an invitation as well. So they both introduce themselves, making a good impression on the council and thus gaining more confidence. Hob and Nigel have sex in the bathroom of the uncle's room and later at Hob's house. Nigel was happy now, and he also wanted to find out if men could somehow get pregnant. Who knows, for now, he was fine with his knight.

[unovan-gardener]

//heyy I hate to ask this bc it's probably annoying/inconvenient but my brain does this dumb thing where it's like, "you can't interact with that person, you're months out of date with their lore" which is stupid but brains suck sometimes

//so. I hate asking this cause it's probably time consuming but. Could I maybe have a summary (doesn't need to be detailed!!) of unovanra (& possibly joltik guy, since you guys are very connected characters I think) lore? Specifically after minkst went to jail

//I know this would probably take for ever, so if you just give me arc tags or a link to posts with major events that's totally fine too! I don't mind reading through stuff at all and I like your writing! But if I didn't have a starting point / label of "here's what's important" I'd try to Read Everything and get burned out

//Thank you! Sorry! Your characters are cool! AAAAA

//okay!!!

i will do my best!!! it will be under the cut for length!! HEED TAGS SERIOUSLY THIS IS SUPER LONG. ITS FROM LATE NOVEMBER TO NOW. ITS SO LONG. PLEASE.

NOV 24-29: okay so! after Minsk got arrested, CD stayed with their dad for a while, since their dad found out how their face got burned and he did a skin grafting surgery on their wound. CD is scared of catmons after this. While CD is in surgery and recovering, their dad (Atley Deo) takes over the account briefly (his tag is #pater plantarum). He is the head of Deo horticulture, a plant based business. Auzi owes Atley a blood debt. Atley asks about service mon and everyone and their mother suggests a smeargle. It is revealed that CD's mother and Atleys wife died in childbirth. Joltiks boyfriend breaks up with them while CD is out. When they come back they are very woozy.

NOV 30-DEC 1: CD decides to adopt an eevee egg from @/allthatglitterzz, and they receive a smeargle service mon to monitor their heart "arrythmia" , lovingly named Stencil. nobody thinks its an actual arrythmia and also people are even more theorizing that he is a plant. Speaking of that arrythmia, CD has a heart attack while home alone, and Stencil calls Joltik instead of their dad to come help. Their heart had stopped entirely, but a zap from Tik sets it back going again. Joltik calls CD's dad, and then leaves before Atley comes home.

DEC 2-DEC 6 : The eevee egg hatches! She is a beautiful baby girl and her name is Porridge, Pidge for short. CD is diagnosed with the TIsm for plant identification reasons /joke. CD and Joltik watch a lot of competition reality tv shows.

DEC 7-DEC 8: Nothing really important happens

DEC 9- DEC 15 : Joltik asks CD to catch them in a pokeball. CD keeps buying candles and they keep going missing, much to their annoyance. CD catches Joltik and it goes poorly, Joltik gets a bit messed up because of it. His candles continue to go missing, people begin to theorize about litwik. A new problem arises: a resident with a mightyena that is hopped up on X attack is roaming campus. DEC 16- : A candle appears on CD's windowsill, looking a lot like a litwick, although it has no flame. its merged into the windowsill and cannot be moved. It continues to amass more wax. CD names it Kerosene, after being hounded a bit by anons. DEC 17 -18 : Pidge briefly goes being, being found in Joltik's dorm. She knocks over a drawing filled with thunder stones and evolves into a Jolteon. Mightyena guy comes back, CD is on duty and patrols to chase him off. CD runs into him on patrol, and Pidge gets her ear torn off by the mightyena. CD goes offline, and Kerosene takes over the phone. It is implied that Kero evolved into a lanpent and consumes the mightyena to save CD. Kero uses a spirit box to communicate, saying that CD was at a pokecenter, and asking for help as she is lost. Joltik comes to find her. DEC 18 -23 Nothing overly important happens. CD accidentally helps Joltiks eevee Mint evolve into Umbreon.

DEC 23- 26: CD's dad finds out about the mightyena attack, and wants to assign CD a bodyguard which they think is stupid. their dad makes them stay home for a while. Tik comes to visit and watch shows while Atley is out. Atley comes back early, but isnt mad, just starts interrogating Tik a bit.

DEC 27-30 : Christmas present from dad!! It's a sprigatito named trowel!! Technically Juniper's first canon interaction with CD! @/sinnohstruggles

DEC 31: Lucretia Minsk escapes prison

JAN 1: the nuytsia project arc starts. should be tagged #the nuytsia project but is occasionally mispelled as #the nuystia project. Summary: joltik is infected by a parasite that makes them compulsed to protect and take care of CD, CD is revealed to be kept alive by a living plant inside them after being stillborn. Atley gains remote access of CD's phone for a brief takeover to try and explain why he did what he did. Atley then proceeds to let himself be taken to jail without struggle. CD is very very sad and distressed by the events of the arc. ARC OFFICIALLY ENDED JAN 8

JAN 9-12 : not a whole lot of importance here, cd gets sleepy and slow in the cold because plant. Juniper and CD start dating and they are cute lmao JAN 13-20 :CD's granparents get in contact, finally hearing that Atley is in jail. They attempt to get custody of CD, all of the pokemon, and all of Atley's assets. Atley did not get along well with his parents and a Lawyer will be in contact with CD, as they are being taken to court. CD quits their job as an RA and drops out of college due to stress from the oncoming court case. They begin lashing out a bit, because of the stress. CD has an argument with Juniper where Juniper attempts to help them but CD feels like they are being treated like a child. They throw the phone at the wall in frustration and Kero takes over the account. During the court case, CD has a heart attack due to the stress, and their grandparents use that to win the case, gaining custody over CD and all of Atley's assets.

JAN 21-22 : CD is taken to live with their grandparents. Their pokemon are taken from them, leaving them only with Stencil, Trowel, and Pidge (as well as Kerosene who is there secretly). CD is locked in their room at the grandparents house during this period, not allowed to leave. The house is cold and they feel slow and sick, not allowed plants or anything from home. They are fed food that makes them sick. CD begins sending audio messages to their friends, but they are short because they get in trouble when caught. It is revealed that the house is in Icirrus City. Kerosene evolved into a Chandelure in order to melt the window and get CD out of the house. JAN 23-FEB 1 : CD's phone is still broken, so they post audio recordings for a while. While in the Snowy forest, CD finds a eevee named Kiwi in a basket, who becomes very clingy and comes along with. It is revealed that CD has now been declared a missing person by their Grandparents. ALSO JUNIPER AND CD ACTUALLY STARTED DATING THE 28TH I FUCKED UP. Anons start hounding CD to go to moss rock because they think it will activate CD's latent plant powers. CD notably doesnt want Kiwi to evolve and gives kiwi 5 everstones. Kiwi dips once they get to pinwheel and loses all their everstones somehow, evolving into a leafeon, much to cds dismay. CD goes home very grumpy about this.

FEB 2- :Silvervine arc starts. should be tagged #silvervine arc. Summary: kiwi roots into cd, merging into them and making them a leafeon hybrid. minsk kidnaps CD, brainwashing/mindcontrolling them with her control over cat-mon. The hybridization merge makes CD have a rush of endorphins and dopamine to minimize the pain, giving them a floaty fuzzy feeling. cd helps minsk with some gardening ;3 lore is dropped, and CD escapes, fully hybridized, but still somewhat conditioned to listen to certain command phrases told to them by minsk, and feeling floaty fuzzy when they fall into leafeon instincts. THIS ARC ENDED FEB 5TH FEB 5th- Onward: Juniper went to a psych ward after stress from CD not wanting to see him post hybridization, he is still there. CD is briefly blocked by both tik and juniper. CD goes to live in lostlorn for a while. CD kinda breaks up with Juniper??? unclear. CD can now spead to cat mon and understand grass types. they meet a tropius named Yache who joins their team. CD lives with Juniper's pokemon team for a while before an argument happens and they leave again. now theyre kinda homeless! also! they turned into a leafeon for a few days and now they can kinda do that sometimes maybe work in progress I hope this was helpful!!!

[viviseawrites]

Steddie Twister AU

Part 1 | Part 2 — Twin Twisters | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Before that storm, Steve had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. After, though. Well, after—after the Steve-and-Nancy of it all, after the breakup, after the next tornado, and the next, and the next—he follows her to college. 

Nancy dedicates herself to meteorology and the study of tornadoes especially. Early warning systems are shit, and maybe if they’d gotten more notice, maybe if they knew, Barb would still be alive. Maybe they wouldn’t feel responsible for her death.

And there’s nothing they can do for Barb, but Nancy makes it her mission to save others. She furrows her brow and faces down any man stupid enough to stand in her way. Steve is not that stupid, not anymore.

He’s become fascinated with weather patterns himself, with how quickly things can change. He needs to understand how a tornado can just appear and touch down and then dissipate, a path of destruction in its wake, leaving scars across land and hearts alike. 

He still feels the need for penance, too. Sometimes he wonders if he should have let Nancy go that day, if they could have saved Barb too, like they saved Will. Even another minute might have made all the difference. 

Steve gets his degree in Meteorology and Climatology alongside Nancy. In the summer break before he’s set to enter his graduate program, he signs up to lead the university’s Storm Chase Team. Only, he gets a co-leader.

Robin Buckley is sarcastic, intelligent, quick, and passionate. She hates him. They butt heads constantly, and Robin makes fun of him in front of the younger students, including Will Byers and his group of undergrad friends.

Despite that, he can’t help but admire her. Few women are stubborn enough to succeed in this field, with all its ingrained misogyny and bullshit. Steve knows that from Nancy. But Robin makes her own rules.

Steve and Robin are with the Party when the team is deployed to observe a severe weather event. They advise, but let the kids lead. Dustin Henderson is a computer and radio whiz, and he’s the one who picks up the anomaly. He calls it D'art.

What follows is a mess that winds up with Steve in the hospital nursing several wounds. He doesn’t blame the kids—he and Robin chose to go with them, and Steve chose to protect them over himself when they got caught up.

It seems almost overnight that they all become a constant in his life, Robin especially. She sticks near him as he recovers from the crash. She’s everything and nothing like he thought she was for so long. She knows exactly how he thinks.

She comes out to him in the hospital bathroom, helping him shower, and Steve slips and nearly brains himself. For years, he blames pain meds for his response: a horrifying rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” She sings it back.

Privately, the head trauma all seems worth it if it means he gets Robin Buckley as his platonic soulmate. And while storms have always taken from him in the past, this one also gives him something else: a gaggle of too-smart undergrads.

[acourtofthought]

ELUCIEN ISLAND FOR ONE 😂

I'm just out here alone on my little ACOTAR 5 Elucien island.

It's a lonely place to be at times but I do typically enjoy solitude 😂

Have you ever seen those marble run toys? That's what SJMs writing in ACOTAR feels like to me.

It's a giant, tall structure with twists and turns and you can place one marble on the track, then another marble, then another until you have a whole bunch of marbles on the course at the same time but the marble you put on there first is still going to be the one who reaches the bottom first.

To me, Elucien's journey / marble started in ACOMAF (Lucien's journey even before that) when SJM decided they'd be mates but immediately separated them and she continued their future story in a big way in ACOWAR (while simultaneously building Nessian's). Elain was dealing with depression and the loss of her humanity, Graysens rejection, she had visions about Vassa and Koschei, underdeveloped powers, refused the Illyrian leathers, she wasn't ready to deal with her bond though the series ended on positive note towards her mate, we were left with questions as to how Elain made it to Nessian in time, and she saw her father lying dead on the ground yet we've never had the chance to see how she's coping with her loss.

SJM wrote a bunch of things that Lucien needs to recover from too, his SA, losing his home in Spring, realizing his mate wasn't ready to interact with him, the realization that Jesminda wasn't his mate after all and characters not trusting him or underestimating him. She also gave him a surprise "Helion is your Daddy" reveal meaning he is unknowingly set up to be the sole heir of Day and she set him on the path to discovering what may be his found family.

I'm not saying SJM didn't give us some information on Az but there was no clear direction she was taking him in at that time, I don't think I could really tell you what the plot of an Azriel novel looked like back then aside from the fact that he hated the Illyrians and had anger issues towards a lot of people.

During this time SJM also said she knew who the first two spin-offs would be about, that she had done research for Elain's book but was leaving the third open. She even said the third might be a novel set prior to the events of ACOTAR.

In ACOFAS, I'd say we got hints of the first real "Az could get his own POV" crumbs / marble where Rhys mentions the Illyrians might need someone permanently stationed there (but not yet, only once things elsewhere in Prythian are settled down), where Az's demeanor sometimes scared the shit out of Rhys, the mentions of Az's mother and how Az seems to suddenly notice another female outside of Mor for the first time in centuries.

But the Elucien crumbs / marbles were still rolling. We got confirmation that Lucien is now living in the human lands with people he considers his friends, we have him remind Feyre that they're going to need Tamlin as an ally before all is said and done and that Rhys shouldn't have kicked him down when he was out, we're reminded that Lucien isn't able to return to Spring because of Feyre's schemes and that Tamlin assaulted him, Feyre thinking to herself that she still hasn't mentioned who Lucien's father is to anyone besides Rhys and that Rhys and Helion were unable to break Vassa's curse. We're told that Elain still mourns her human life, gave back TT and did not look back, didn't want a male or a mate and a few mentions of how quietly she seems to be moving all of a sudden, mentions of her being up early and having trouble sleeping as well as her questioning Amren about being able to change forms.

Then in SF, the Az crumbs really started rolling a bit more. SJM built a bit of mystery on how Az is different in a lot of ways, how he likes his space though he built a bit of a friendship with Nesta, we're given insight into how he tortures, that he's kind of spiraling in his tantrums towards Rhys and Feyre, how he's curious about Rhys's model of the universe, how he's fixated on wanting a mate and jealous of his brothers while being ready to burn bridges with someone who is an ally because of that jealousy and the introduction of a possible mate.

But the Elucien information is there as well, that marble has still been rolling down the track. Lucien is now living with Jurian and Vassa, we get a pretty major scene of him commanding Cassian with a single word (something only High Lords can do), we're reminded that while Lucien continues to visit Tamlin, he's not getting any better and Spring has falling into a state that leaves the rest of Prythian at risk, we're told Lucien's father has been working with Briallyn and would probably be willing to turn to Koschei, we have Lucien setting his sights across the sea as if setting his target, we're reminded that Vassa's freedom is almost up, we have Lucien being permanently stationed in Spring and the first hints that he's losing a bit of patience in regards to the the situation with Elain though he still looks at her with longing, and the mentions that there's something going on in Day that's causing stress to Helion.

SJM confirmed Elain crumbs were sprinkled throughout in a Live Talks with Eva Chen. She's again noted as moving with stealth and being up early, her Seer powers are dormant, she surprised both Feyre and Nesta with how she's started to stand up for herself, NC Black sucks the life out of her, Feyre mentions helping one sister before the other, Rhys confirms that though Elain makes beautiful things, gardening still involves getting ones hands dirty along the way, Amren says not to underestimate Elain, Feyre notes how if Elain had been wearing Lucien's gloves nothing would have pierced her, Nesta first places Elain's rose carving next to a figure of a goddess but doesn't let herself think of why, she then places the rose on her fathers headstone as a marker of the beauty and good he tried to bring into the world, the rejection from Az on Solstice which probably made her decide she's done with men 😂. Nesta notes her sisters delicate scent is like a promise of Spring and thinks how Spring had been made for someone like Elain, she wonders if Elain would be willing to the continent and not just the one at the Western edge but the one further south. But even with all of that there are a lot of mentions of "Where's Elain?".

The thing about those marble runs is they have a fancy little piece that flips back and forth. When the first marble passes through, the piece blocks off the original path so that the second marble is forced to go down a new path.

To me, Elucien is now set on one course while Gwynriel, after making it to that fork, is on another and I think the crossover is a way for SJM to further build on Az's story because his marble has been a bit behind Elucien's. He has needed more background to build on where she's going with his book whereas she's already pointed us in the direction of Elucien. I know people think Elucien are underdeveloped but she honestly doesn't need to give us anything more. We know there's the unknown father storyline, the freeing of Vassa and the other girls trapped at the lake storyline, the acceptance of their mating bond, the restoring of Spring and figuring out whether Lucien and Tamlin will make ammends, whether Lucien and Eris will make ammends, whether Lucien will reconnect with the LoA, Elain healing from the loss of her father and being made, further exploring her powers and proving to everyone she can handle the dangerous stuff, Elain finding her found family. I think there's even a chance she'll help figure out why the Pegasus's food source is gone. Seriously, what more do we need for an Elucien book? 😂 I don't think we had even half of that for Nessians.

Elain's absence in the crossover (thus far) doesn't mean all that much to me in terms of what story is being told next. I don't think Elain and Lucien will be tied into the crossover plot because I don't think that's the path they're on. Just like certain characters who once did everything together in the TOG series (i.e. Dorian / Chaol), had their stories take them away from one another until the end. Dorian had nothing to do with Yrene and Chaols journey and Chaol never had anything to do with Maeve as Dorian did.

People keep saying Elain isn't connected to the current plot but she is because Koschei, Vassa, Spring ARE current plots. They haven't gone anywhere, they're happening and needing resolution simultaneously to what's going on with Bryce in the NC. There are things happening all over in Prythian, just as there were things happening all over in the TOG series, not just what Aelin was dealing with at the moment.

Maybe all the characters will come back together if the Asteri are a major threat to Prythian at any point but right now, Elain and Lucien don't need to be involved in anything Bryce related. Just like Gwynriel isn't really connected to the Vassa / Koschei / Spring storylines, Elucien don't need to be majorly connected to Gwynriel's storylines especially because it doesn't sound like Elain is truly a part of the IC. And I do think regardless of how big a threat Koschei is, anything related to enemies entering their world would be an even bigger threat and that kind of storyline makes sense coming from the pov of an Illyrian warrior and a Valkyrie.

Not to mention a final battle can still involve all the main characters including Lucien if he were High King. Feyre's pov still had Rhys running the show during the war.

Even though SJM has Az's marble rolling full force with SF and the crossover, I still don't think that means Elucien is on the backburner. I just think it means she's already laid out all their necessary crumbs, set them on their path and now they're just racing towards the finish.

However, I will still celebrate with my Gwynriel friends on the Gwynriel island if I turn out to be completely wrong 😂

[trashbag-baby666]

Nervous smile for your high school au please 🥹

Rheheheh enjoy :3

Somewhat follows after these events!

mota masterlist!

Curt sat across from Ken at their usual spot, the same table they occupied every Wednesday and Thursday during recourse. The art room buzzed with the usual chatter, but Curt’s focus was miles away. He shifted in his seat, drumming his fingers against the edge of the table.

Underneath the table, John nudged Curt's leg with his foot, then cleared his throat. When Curt glanced up, John mouthed silently, "Ask him."

Curt swallowed, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten. He was suddenly aware of the unfamiliar rush of anxiety flooding his system. Thank God Ken still had his AirPods in. Curt took a deep breath, steadying himself.

“Kenny.” His voice cracked a little as he spoke, finally breaking the silence between them.

Ken, lost in his music, didn’t hear at first. He pulled out one AirPod and looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Hm?”

Curt shifted uncomfortably, his hands now fidgeting under the table. “Would you wanna, uh... get coffee or something? Sometime?” His voice wavered as he leaned back, the front two legs of his chair lifting off the ground in a casual, but nervous, attempt to seem nonchalant.

Before Ken could answer, Mrs. Simpson strolled by with a knowing smile. “There’s coffee and the Keurig in the back room,” she sang out, her tone light and teasing. She winked at them both, clearly amused by the not-so-subtle pining that had been going on for weeks.

Curt’s cheeks flushed as he glanced at Ken, unsure how to recover from the sudden interruption.

Ken’s small, toothy grin spread across his face, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes as he set his paintbrush down. “I could go for a cup.”

Curt felt his heart skip a beat. With a nervous smile of his own, he pushed himself up from the table, trying to keep his hands from shaking. "Great...yeah, let’s do that."

As they headed toward the backroom, Curt could feel John’s smug grin burning into his back.

[vibrantbirdy]

Fingertips: A Cassian Andor x Jyn Erso Fic

Title: Fingertips Fandom: Star Wars: Rogue One Genres: Sci-Fi; Romance; Soft smut with feelings; slight angst Setting: Post events of Rogue One - canon divergence, you know the drill #everybodylives Pairings: Cassian Andor x Jyn Erso Warnings: 18 + ONLY - Explicit sexual content This is mostly smut, but it's romantic smut I hope - oral f!receiving, riding p in v sex (unprotected - please be sensible irl); brief, mild mentions of injury and recovery (unlikely to be medically accurate, sorry); strong language. Word Count: c. 2.5k

Summary: Told from Cassian's POV. After surviving events on the planet Scarif, the crew of Rogue One have spent the past two months on Yavin 4 recuperating. With Sergeant Jyn Erso cleared for duty and her inaugural mission fast approaching, Captain Cassian Andor is still recovering from his injuries, and he can't let her go without attempting to tell her how he feels.

Author's note: This is my first rebelcaptain fic and I'm kinda nervous about it, hah! It's inspired by Newton Faulkner's song, Fingertips. I've not done a song/lyric fic like this before, but if people like it I might try something similar with a different song from Jyn's POV. (My fic masterlist is here.)

Fic and link to song under the cut.

Final A/N: You can also find the song on Spotify, I don't know what works best for folks...

Fingertips

On his worst days, Rebel spy, Captain Cassian Andor, felt as if he were reliving that moment of indescribable agony as his ribs broke on impact with the support beams of Scarif's Citadel tower. Sometimes, he even imagined that he could hear the sickening clang of his body each time it slammed heavily against solid metal before he blacked out.

Cassian knew he was lucky not to have broken his back. He knew he was lucky to be alive. More medical treatments and physical therapy appointments than he could count had worked wonders, but although he tried to hide it and although he was healing, Cassian still spent many of his days in pain.

Meanwhile, cleared for duty with a clean bill of health, and with hasty field promotion during the battle of Scarif officially sanctioned by Alliance Command, Sergeant Jyn Erso was on the eve of her inaugural mission as a Rebel Intelligence Officer. Cassian couldn't have been prouder of her.

He had hoped that during their recovery time on Yavin 4, he and Jyn would have been able to build on what he was sure they had started before and during the mission to steal the plans of the Empire's planet-killing superweapon.

But when they'd returned to Alliance Headquarters with the rest of the crew of Rogue One, miraculously alive, but battered and bruised and exhausted beyond all measure, the memory of Scarif seemed to plant itself like an unscalable obstacle, opaque and solid, between them.

It was as if all that had passed between them was simply too insurmountable to verbalise. As if putting words to the experience might break the hallowed spell cast by their willingness to sacrifice themselves for the Cause, frightened and agonised though they were, to a fate made bearable only because they were facing it together. And so in the months following, Cassian and Jyn had broken up that intangible, unnameable feeling between them into little pieces, replicating it only in stolen glances across meeting rooms and brief, lingering touches, barely there, as they brushed past each other in corridors and stood too close together in dark corners of the base.

But over the past few days, the reality that Jyn might leave without her knowing all the things Cassian had left unsaid had started to sink in. It had driven him to distraction, so much so that when he arrived at the door of Jyn's quarters the night before she left for the unknown, heart racing, adrenaline coursing through his body as if he were about to head into battle, Cassian hadn't a clue what he planned to say.

He needn't have worried. The doors had barely hissed open wide enough for a person to pass through when Jyn's eyes widened in an expression of recognition that could almost have been relief. Wordlessly, she grabbed Cassian roughly by the front of his shirt, and dragged him through the doorway where they collided into a clumsy, frenzied kiss.

Make no mistake, I'm only sane when you say my name, Oh, you're on my fingertips like holy water

Any semblance of restraint that they had worked to maintain over the time they had known each other fell away as instinct took over. The two tore at each other's clothes, fumbling at buttons and belts and zippers until, naked seemingly in mere moments, Jyn's back was up against the nearest durasteel wall with Cassian pressing himself hungrily against her body.

Unable to resist any longer, he broke away from her lips, and allowed his mouth to graze across her skin, kissing a feverish descent down her neck and collarbone, over her breasts and across her abdomen, savouring every little noise she made until he found himself on his knees in front on her.

Cassian hooked one of Jyn's lithe legs over his shoulder and looked up, taking a moment to drink in the sight of her. She was the most enchanting thing he'd ever seen. He knew that already, of course, but here and now, the planes and curves of her warrior's body seemed to belong to some timeless, unknowable being, a goddess sculpted in marble and come to life above him. It seemed only natural that he should be kneeling in capitulation before her alter.

Trying to ignore the aching hardness between his legs, cruelly restricted by the increasingly tight material of his pants - the only item of clothing either of them had retained - Cassian traced his fingers up the inside of Jyn's thigh until he reached the well of her arousal. He marvelled at the elixir of desire that had already formed there, hot and wet, before he brushed the pads of his fingertips, feather light, across her sensitive bud.

As he did so, Jyn arched towards his touch and said his name as she never had before, keening and full of longing, the way he'd only imagined she might utter it on long, dark nights in secret when he was alone. To Cassian's ears, it was a sacred sound and he clung to the memory of it even as it dissipated into the air. It was as if his name falling from her lips had finally granted him release from the temporary madness of not having her which had been all-consuming since their return from Scarif. And now, that strange, unnatural distance that had crept between them, insidious and unintentional, was suddenly obliterated in one glorious instant. As Cassian pressed the flat of his tongue against the pearl at her core, and curled it slowly upwards, Jyn's hands flew to his head and she twisted her strong, slender fingers so tightly in his hair that it was almost painful. They stayed there, woven in his dark locks, until he brought her to a convulsing oblivion against his mouth and he heard her cry out his name again and again.

Stay on my fingertips just for a little while, I just want you to know I need it.

As Jyn recovered, breathless and panting from her high, Cassian, still on his knees, rested his cheek on her warm thigh, enjoying the paradoxical sensation of his rough stubble against her soft skin.

Despite his euphoric state, he hated to admit, even to himself, that for the first time in a long time, he was nervous about what happened next.

His body was still healing, and he knew that the lingering pain of his injured back and damaged ribs would undoubtedly restrict his range of movement. His strength, though returning, was still fragile and raw. The thought that his lovemaking might disappoint her was unbearable.

But Cassian should never have doubted that Jyn would consider this - consider him. She was always the first to notice when he was struggling, the first to tell him to rest when his pain flared up, even if he didn't want to hear it.

Removing her hands from his hair, she gripped him lightly under his chin tilting his head up to look at her and guiding him to his feet. She allowed him to press a single, absurdly chaste kiss on her lips before she placed her other hand against his chest and walked him backwards over to her bed, chin still grasped between her forefinger and thumb.

Cassian swallowed, quickly sweeping aside the embarrassing notion that if she carried on like this, he might well finish there and then.

Jyn pushed him down on to the mattress and tugged him free of his pants before climbing astride him with a swift efficiency that made his head spin. Before he knew it, she had positioned herself over his solid shaft, grasping him at his base before sinking her core down around him. As her slight, strong frame came to rest flush upon his, Cassian was sure that the circuits in brain shorted out.

He let his eyes roam over Jyn's body, transfixed and slack-jawed, as she began rocking her hips languidly against him with agonising slowness. Cassian understood that she might be afraid of hurting him, but she moved as if she thought he could break beneath her. Maybe she was right, he thought to himself, but he was sure as hell willing to find out.

He furrowed his brow against the sensation of her heat around and against him, a feeling that was simultaneously, wondrously everything and yet not quite enough. When it finally became too much to bear, Cassian tore his eyes away from Jyn's captivating form and looked up into her face.

She had a look in her eye, wild and wicked, and he realised then she was teasing him, delighting in the way he had started to writhe, almost desperately, underneath her.

How typical of her, Cassian thought, and damned if it didn't make him want her all the more.

He grinned up at her, enjoying the thrill of being at her mercy. He gripped her hips tightly, unable to resist testing to see if he could get away with manoeuvring her body on top of him in the hopes that it might persuade her to move.

With a gentle laugh, mischievous but not cruel - Jyn was obstinate, tempestuous, infuriating, but never cruel - she leant down across his chest to kiss him, pressing her lips hard against his. As she did so, Cassian felt the slow, deliberate pressure of the muscles at her very centre squeezing around him.

Seeing stars, he tore away from her lips and pressed his open mouth against the spot on her neck just below her ear to stifle a groan. The sound he made was long and low and full of pure, unfettered desire. His body responded automatically, hips rising off the mattress, pushing himself up and into her as far as he could.

"Please," Cassian heard himself say, unashamed by the way the word caught in his throat, broken and needful.

He did need her. Fuck, he needed her.

At his plea, Jyn drew herself up and straightened, throwing her head back and shaking away the mess of brown locks that had fallen about her face. There was provocation in her expression, one dark brow cocked and that smirk sitting slightly crookedly on her lips, the way it always did - the way Cassian had grown to adore.

The vision of her glorying in his utter surrender was breath-taking, and it ignited something primal within him as he pictured all the ways he might make her sing that word for him.

Please! Cassian, please!

But tonight, Jyn was the victor and, seemingly satisfied that her triumph was to be uncontested, she took pity on him.

Still, she made a performance of it, raising her eyebrows at him provocatively as if to say, Ready?, and taking the time to blow a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. One after the other, she planted her palms firmly and deliberately against Cassian's chest and only then, finally, did she begin to move.

As her body started to rise and fall around his hard length, Jyn became lost in her passion, and Cassian revelled in every curl of her fingers against his torso as her hands flexed open and shut, her nails dragging across his skin. It was an instinctive, unconscious movement, but to him, it felt as if she were trying to reach into his chest and extract his hammering heart to claim as her prize.

There's no need, Cassian managed to think through his lust-fuelled haze, it already belongs to her.

As Jyn's pace quickened, he thrust up into her, matching the rhythm of her movements with his own. Her hand, the one that didn't have a grip over Cassian's heart, slid slowly down his sweat slick chest until it came to rest at his throat, her thumb exerting a light, tantalising pressure at the hollow just below his adam's apple.

Cassian couldn't tear his eyes away from Jyn's bewitching face. Any guile that had been present in her expression before had been replaced by carnal, elemental lust. Her head rolled languidly back and forth on her shoulders, her mouth hanging slightly open, allowing the most erotic noises of pleasure Cassian had ever heard to escape from deep within her. She kept her eyes squeezed shut for the most part, but every so often, she rewarded her lover with a wanton, piercing look from green, glinting, amorous orbs.

As he moved within her, Cassian wanted to touch every part of her. He ran his hands along her thighs, up and down her back, across her buttocks, her stomach, her breasts, the feeling of her silky skin beneath his fingertips almost transcendental.

Finally, he snaked a hand between their bodies, caressing that sacred spot between Jyn's legs where she needed him the most, determined to give her everything.

At his touch, she cried out, her head flying back to reveal that long, slender neck. The vision sent Cassian into overdrive as he imagined running his tongue up it and tasting the salt of her exertion on her skin.

The sight and sound of Jyn in ecstasy as she reached her peak and the sensation of her body contorting and releasing around him was enough to throw Cassian hurtling uncontrollably towards his own mind-numbing rapture. He bucked up into her in disjointed and desperate movements until her name tumbled from his lips like a prayer over and over.

Love me another day, before it evaporates, Stay on my fingertips like holy water, Stay on my fingertips just for a little while.

When they were both completely spent, Jyn collapsed against Cassian's chest, their heaving bodies hot with sweat. Cassian kissed the top of her head, inhaling the intoxicating wildflower scent of her hair.

After a moment, Jyn let out a soft, breathless laugh that was almost a giggle. Then, she pushed herself up to rest on her elbows just high enough so that she could hover above Cassian and touch the sharp point of her nose against his own.

He smiled up at her and swept back stray tendrils of hair where perspiration had plastered them to her forehead, before trailing his fingers slowly down her flushed face, his hand coming to rest on her rosy cheek where he traced the ridge of her cheekbone with his thumb.

Night on Yavin 4 was dissipating fast, and in the early morning light that crept softly through Jyn's window, Cassian studied her face as she floated like an ethereal vision above him.

Before she left, he wanted to memorise every facet of those perfect features that were all at once both delicate and fierce. The angular contours of her nose and cheeks, the full lips which so often parted slightly to reveal charmingly prominent front teeth, the dark hair which always ended up tousled mess no matter what she did with it.

But most of all, Cassian longed to indulge himself by counting every single fleck of gold in Jyn's otherworldly green eyes. Her irises were the colour of lichen, he decided, the kind that only grows in the forests of the galaxy with freshest, purest air. Cassian suddenly realised that Jyn was engaged in the same undertaking, her brows knitted together in concentration as she appraised his face, her expression quizzical and vulnerable and open.

It was as if they were seeing each other properly for the first time in months. It reminded Cassian of the look they had shared in the Citadel turbo lift on Scarif - two souls clinging to the safe harbour of the other, suspended in a moment as the world burned around them.

But this time, Cassian felt no fear and no pain, only comfort and something else awakening within him. A stirring deep within his heart. As he gazed up at the woman who had faced death with him and survived, he saw this new hope of his glowing incandescent and warm, reflected back at him through Jyn's eyes.

[sister-dear]

For the fanfic writer's ask game, 10, 11, and 23?

10: I try to come up with title options early because it's often one of the most difficult parts lol, but sometimes I forget and have to do the last minute scramble. Sticking to song lyrics has largely helped, but they still need to have the right vibe. 11: I usually only research stuff that's directly relevant to the main action of the scene. Figuring out what blacksmithing technique Four might geek out over with his Grandpa, for instance, since they're two experts in their field and of course the topic is going to come up when they're catching up after Four's been away! That did lead to a fun rabbit hole of looking up not just tempering techniques but fancy weapons in general. I also tend to look into lots of setting kinds of things; how different cultures and time periods handled bathing, what kind of beds they would be sleeping on, food preserving techniques so I know what they might count as travel food, that kind of thing. But I don't tend to worry too much over getting it exactly "right"; a lot can be handwaved when you're writing fantasy! 23: Honestly, I usually deal with writers block by taking a break and not forcing it! Especially if I've just finished a story, that part of the creative brain needs time to recover! Playing games, reading, crochet or sewing or gardening or anything that's not writing. Maybe re-engaging with the source material to help get the level of interest back up. If I'm on a time limit, like there's a gift exchange due date coming, I try to tell myself that done is better than perfect and stick to something short and simple (and also start as early as possible while I'm still excited over the event instead of dreading a looming deadline oof). And if I'm stuck midway through something, sometimes skipping over that part to a portion I feel more sure of helps, or copying it to a new document so I can try making major changes without worrying I'm ruining what I already had in case I don't like them. Sometimes putting the computer away and sitting down somewhere to deliberately daydream about the story works too!

[oddballwriter]

Do You Like it Here

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Summary: Tim is a weird guy. He never lets anyone get too close to him. But you might be some type of exception. At least you think you might be.

Warnings: It’s implied that reader and Tim are friends with benefits if you can even call them friends, there is NO smut though. Tim also snaps at reader for a second. Nothing much.  

Author’s Snip: Don’t let me play Pork Soda by Glass Animals and Sleazy Bed Track by The Bluetones when I’m trying to make some content.

Notes: This was not proof read. And before you ask, yes this is set after the events of MH the series. Also, this is like... a smidge of angst to it but it’s kinda more like it’s accented 

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

  In the most bare bones explanation you could give about Tim was that he was your neighbor, your doors directly across from each other, and you two would spend time together sometimes. Though if you wanted to be more honest, it was more than just hanging out. But that would only be implied than anything if anyone were to notice the hair’s width of enfaces on the words ‘hanging out’ whenever you said them. You honestly couldn’t say anything about Tim himself if someone asked though. All you knew was some guy living in a bland mid apartment complex. But you had your theories. 

  Whenever you asked him about his life before coming to the apartments on the nights that you’d spend together, he’d just say that it wasn’t important or that it was nothing to concern yourself with. But there was this atmosphere brought on by how quickly he would say those words and the feeling that he was trying to light his cigarettes faster that gave those words the opposite meaning. He never makes friends with anyone. Always keeping people at the cut off of acquaintance, unless it was something like a boss or landlord. Pretty sure you were the only one who even managed to over step that cut via only having one foot past the line, but still being forced to keep your other foot at the acquaintance line. Honestly, you were probably only allowed to be one foot ahead because he wanted some type of company. 

  So the best theory that you had was that Tim was someone running away from something and making friends would have it catch up. What it was, you had no idea. But you guess Tim didn’t like it much since he’s possibly went and ran from it. There was the question that that brought on was why he felt like he couldn’t make any friends because of it. Which brings a new question.

  “Do you like it here?” you asked, breaking a silence that usually comes up touched after doing what hanging out with Tim typically meant. “What do you mean?” he responded. “Do you like it here,” you repeated, “Is there a reason why you’re here?” you add. “Do I need a reason to be here?” Tim asked with a tone that twisted it like you were saying he didn’t belong. “Not really.” you respond. “But a guy as attractive as you would usually have a a bunch of friends. Yet here you are, only giving people nods when they greet you and mostly keeping to yourself.” you remark. 

  “I don’t enjoy making friends.” Tim said. “No use.” he muttered under his breath. “And why is that?” you taunt. “Stuff happens when I make friends.” he said very vaguely but still sounding blunt, somehow. “And what ‘stuff’ would that be?” you remarked, not believing that this so called stuff was anything serious.

  “It’s none of your business!” Tim suddenly snapped, genuinely spooking you. “Okay,” you say upon recovering from that brief surprise, “Sorry for wanting to know why you keep to yourself so damn much.” you mumble. “Don’t worry yourself about it.” he commented, saying the same thing he has on usual nights. “I was just asking to get to know you. That’s all.” you mutter. “You don’t need to know anything,” he remarked, “I’m just here. That’s all to it.”. 

  “And me?” you ask. “What about you?” Tim asked back. “If you’re just here and don’t like being close to anyone, then why do you need me to keep you company.” you explain. In the most blunt way Tim has ever talked, almost as if it was a response he had packed in his mouth, Tim responds to you with “I don’t need you to keep me company.”. 

  You don’t know what you were expecting but for whatever reason, that sentence hurt a bit. He didn’t need you? Even though so many times you two hang out it’s because he asked to. Just like tonight. So what? You’re a fix? Is that what you are.

  “Well, okay then.” you simply remark. But judging by Tim’s reaction, you sounded upset. “That’s fine.” you say getting up from your spot. “Wait hold on.” Tim said trying to find something to say. “No, no. It’s fine.” you said as collected your things. “I get what you mean. Don’t worry. I get it now.” you remark, not really bothering to stop whatever you’re doing. 

  And you honestly didn’t. You didn’t stop. You just grabbed your stuff, not really having to walk of shame since you live right across the way. 

[roseverdict]

Approaching the Roche Limit

Immediately after the events of the Dark Lord's failed invasion of the digital world, a conversation is had between two sticks with unimaginable power that somehow doesn't devolve into another no-holds-barred brawl.

No, the Chosen One doesn't quite know how they managed it, either.

(or, i am still very much thinking about morally questionable stick figures. i have Big Plans™ but i need to set up how we get from ava5 to the Big Plans™ so IT'S SEGWAY TIME! mild language from the bogeysticks but nothing too serious imo. ao3 link to come shortly so check rb's if it's been more than a few minutes!)

〜

By the time Chosen made it to where the mountain used to be, the sky had gone dark and the dust had settled.

Mostly.

There had been people out here during the day, news reporters and curious onlookers and the like, but Chosen had waited until they'd all gone home or set up camp for the night before sneaking past and climbing into the crater.

Dark lay there, unmoving and unaware of the world around them.

Chosen sighed and slid down the crater's side to them. "Oh, Dark…What's become of us?"

Dark didn't answer.

Chosen just shook their head and knelt down beside their oldest friend, removing and pocketing Dark's power-amplifying armbands before hefting them up into their arms. "C'mon. We should get going before someone gets curious enough to come looking down here."

"…Ch's'n…?"

They felt their heart stop as Dark shifted in place and blearily looked up at them, though Chosen couldn't say for sure how much of it was from joy and how much of it was pure dread. "Hey. I think we ought to talk about some things."

Dark didn't react for a long moment, then nodded silently.

Chosen nodded back, then got to their feet, crouched down-

-and leapt away, clearing the crater in an instant.

〜

Dark spent the next however-long in…well, in darkness. Occasionally, something would break through the haze, be it a dim flash of imagery or a distant sound, but for the most part, it was like a blanket had been thrown over the world, rendering it dull and fuzzy.

"…ell were you even func…" mumbled Chosen at one point.

"…rupted after spending so long with…" they muttered sometime later.

"…orry. This might hurt a li…" they said after that.

Something pinched in the deepest corners of Dark's being, and they couldn't keep themself from grimacing at the sensation as it grew more and more all-encompassing.

"…rry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry-" Chosen was saying now, continuing to repeat the word like it was the only thing keeping themself steady as they did whatever it was they were doing.

Dark could only groan and try to curl inwards, only to find themself too weak to do even that.

There came a feeling of something snapping within Dark, and suddenly the pain let up.

"It's done," said Chosen's voice.

Dark's head felt heavy as lead, but they forced it to turn enough for them to look at Chosen. They tried to ask what the other had just done, but all that came out was a weak-sounding questioning noise.

"There was corruption in your code," said Chosen. "I got a screenshot of it, and I can show it to you once you recover a little more. Just…focus on resting for a bit first, alright?"

Dark turned the thought over in their head, taking what was probably too long to be healthy to process it fully, then nodded slowly.

As they drifted back out of consciousness, a gentle pressure took their hand and squeezed.

Dark squeezed back.

〜

When Dark finally regained their bearings, the world was quiet and calm.

A look around showed them that they were back in the house they and Chosen shared, and the window gave them a wonderful view of the night sky.

Something shifted their left hand, making them realize that, while one hand rested atop their chest, the other hung over the edge of the bed they'd been laid upon. Next to them, slumped over in a chair and gripping Dark's hand, was Chosen.

Chosen mumbled incoherently and shifted slightly again.

They were asleep.

On instinct, Dark braced themself for the ever-present wave of instinctual bloodlust that came over them nearly every time they saw Chosen…

…only for nothing to happen.

Dark blinked.

They looked away, then looked back.

Still nothing.

Chosen blinked blearily awake, but upon noticing Dark, they seemed to snap awake fully. "You're up. How do you feel?"

"Like I got my ass handed to me by a kindergartener," Dark quipped weakly. "Probably because I did."

Chosen chuckled at that, though they quickly fell silent before… "I…I really do appreciate the gesture. Where you were aiming."

Dark scowled down at the bandages wrapped around their chest. "Coulda fooled me."

Chosen stiffened, then visibly forced themself to relax. "And this is part of what I was hoping to talk about once you woke up. Dark, I…"

"You what?" Dark snapped. "You were getting cold feet about a plan that, by all rights, was yours in the first place?"

"I just wanted to get back at Noogai for hurting me for all those years!" Chosen insisted, standing up and letting go of Dark's hand. "I didn't want to take down the entirety of humanity's international infrastructure!"

"Oh, so wreaking havoc is perfectly fine, but you draw the line at utter destruction?" Dark snipped dryly. "A bit late for those morals to show up, don't you think?"

"What I was fine with was destroying the websites that hosted the popups I was forced to block for years!" spat Chosen. "Using our powers to play the world's games our way! Not annihilating millions of devices belonging to millions of humans who've never even thought to do us wrong! Not terrorizing other sticks and murdering them just because they didn't want us to hurt their friends!"

"You signed on for this when you became my ally!" Dark shouted. They wound up coughing for a moment, but then, with even more venom, "I'm the Dark Lord, remember, oh, great Chosen One? That's what I am!"

"You were only coded to seek and destroy me, and you were able to break past that!" Chosen exclaimed. "I'd thought that once we were finished with everything, we could-!"

Dark laughed bitterly. "We could what? Sing kumbayah around a campfire for the rest of our days?! Did you really think you would get the choice between 'all-powerful evil ally' and 'happy friendship times' when everything was said and-?"

Chosen's hands slammed onto the mattress, and in a voice like thunder-

"YOU THINK I WANTED TO CHOOSE?!"

Dark fell silent, staring up at Chosen as they glared down at them. Their eyes may have only been metaphorically flaming, but it still burnt as if they were blasting Dark with their lasers at full power.

Was Chosen…tearing up?

"I never wanted to choose," Chosen said, a lot quieter and a little thicker. "You're my first and closest friend, of course I didn't want to have to choose between you and…well, anything. You just…you kept seeking out more and more destruction. Even with a name like 'The Dark Lord,' things were getting out of hand. I didn't realize my suspicions were right on the money until I patched you up from your beatdown courtesy of the Second Coming."

Dark watched mutely as Chosen handed them two sheets of paper, each of them a printout of programming that Dark thought they'd known as well as their own color code.

"This one," said Chosen, pointing to the printout showing an unhealthy mass of red numbers and letters spreading across the entirety of the program, "shows how your code looked when I first got you home. This one," this time gesturing to the other sheet and its much cleaner lines of code, "shows how it looks now."

Dark glanced between the two pages, and though it took them a moment, they noticed that the source of the tumorous code in the first seemed to be the very first line: a simple mission statement with its target completely illegible.

mission.The_Dark_Lord = destroy(▒▒▒_▒▒▒▒▒▒_▒▒▒);

"Noogai put that into you. Only that. From the very moment of your creation, that has been your driving force," Chosen said coldly. "As soon as we joined forces, that core part of your code became a conflicting statement with everything you unconsciously put there yourself, and the longer we went on our merry reign of terror, the more deeply entrenched the surviving code became."

Dark looked to the other sheet, only to freeze.

There, in the first line, commented out but still clearly visible without the corrupted characters obscuring it, was the full version of their 'mission statement.'

mission.The_Dark_Lord = destroy(The_Chosen_One);

"I had to comment it out- the corruption was spreading through the rest of your code unchecked while you were passed out. Once I did, the corruption receded and revealed the line in its entirety. It's up to you whether we remove it for good or put it back to the way it was." Chosen stood back up and turned to leave. "I'm not making that choice if I can help it, either."

Dark watched them leave, unable to string their thoughts together in a way that made sense before the door slammed shut behind Chosen.

〜

The morning dawned in a wash of grays and whites.

Chosen awoke feeling drained. Judging by the fact that the house was still standing, Dark hadn't gone rogue yet. Hopefully, that would turn out to be a good thing.

They trudged into the kitchen and got themself a glass of coffee, then, after a moment of deliberation, poured a drink for Dark, too. A bit of coffee, a lot of sugar, and then they were off to Dark's room with the two cups in hand.

Upon opening the door, they saw Dark slumped back against the pillow, asleep. The printouts were held against their chest with one hand, the other having flopped over the edge of the bed. As Chosen entered the room, however, Dark jolted awake, seemingly confused for a moment before they caught sight of Chosen and their expression sank.

Chosen tried not to read anything into it.

They sat down at the chair they'd left at Dark's bedside and set the two coffees on the nightstand. "Feeling any better?"

Dark made a noncommital grunt, looking down at the printouts in their hand blankly.

Chosen sipped at their coffee and focused on a spot in the corner. Sitting in silence was much better than the two of them screaming at each other.

It took a bit, but eventually, Dark spoke up. "The Entire Web."

Chosen blinked. "Hm?"

"Or The Entire Net. It could have been either," Dark said dully. "The corrupting part of my code. It would've had the same number of letters as 'The Chosen One,' and it would've fit, considering my plans for the Virabots."

Chosen had to admit, it did fit.

"I don't want to let that bastard have any sway over me," Dark hissed, their grip on the readout of the original, corrupted code tightening and crumpling the page.

Chosen nearly choked on their coffee, but managed to turn it into a regular swallow before setting the cup down. "Are you saying…?"

"Delete it," Dark confirmed. "I've got enough of my own handiwork in me that it shouldn't kill me or anything. After that…I don't really know."

Chosen set their coffee aside, then got to their feet. "Since the code is already commented out, I should be able to get rid of it without causing any more pain, even while you're awake. Did you want me to do that now, or…?"

Dark hesitated a moment, then nodded. "Before I think for too long and change my mind."

Chosen nodded back, then pulled their laptop out from the end table and opened it up, the program editor still open from their patch job on Dark. A quick click, drag, and delete, and the offending line of code was gone.

"Done."

Dark blinked. "You were right. That was painless."

Chosen chuckled quietly and set the laptop aside as quickly as they'd taken it out. "Perks of having the code already separated from what you're currently running on."

Dark shrugged and nodded, seemingly unable to think of a comeback.

"Here," said Chosen, picking up the second cup of coffee and holding it out. "If you want it."

Chosen watched as Dark warily took the cup and had a sip. Their eyes lit up, (metaphorically, anyway,) but all they did was hunch their shoulders and glance away. "…thanks."

Chosen nodded and picked up their own coffee again, taking sips from it every time they felt their eyes try to flutter shut.

Eventually, though, they ran out of coffee, and as they drifted out of consciousness, a gentle pressure took their hand and squeezed.

Chosen squeezed back.

〜

That evening found the two of them on the roof of their house in the country, sitting in relative silence.

"Heh, look up there," Dark finally said, lifting one heavy arm to point at the lights in the sky. "Looks like a pencil again."

Chosen chuckled quietly. "I wonder if any of them know they're all in the same group chat. Or whatever-it-is that's keeping them all up, really."

"Probably not. Humans tend to be either really stingy with their information or way too willing to share it," remarked Dark.

"You have a point," Chosen admitted.

The conversation petered back out for a moment, then Dark cleared their throat. When Chosen looked, Dark had averted their eyes and seemed almost…nervous? "So, uh…you mentioned 'appreciating the gesture' earlier, and you said you were perfectly fine with revenge on Noogai, but then when we fought…um."

"You're wondering why I teamed up with the man after everything he did," said Chosen. It wasn't a question.

"…yeah, that."

Chosen sighed. "Initially, I intended to just destroy the whole machine with the virus inside. Stop it before it could spread, but not exactly in the most delicate way I could. It was Noogai's PC, after all."

"But you didn't," Dark pointed out.

"But I didn't." Chosen sighed again and looked up at a point in the distance, vaguely in the direction of the Ohio-based IP addresses that helped make up the sky, where the tip of the 'pencil' happened to be. "It took me some time to get from the internet cable into the desktop itself, and when I got there…well, you saw those colorful sticks that stepped between us."

Dark blinked in surprise. "Wait, they came from Noogai's computer?"

Chosen nodded. "All five of them. Or at least, that's where the five of them had made their home. The four with solid heads, their code seemed to be a bit different from yours or mine, but that didn't stop them or the Second Coming from trying to fight off the Virabot. I even saw Noogai tapping frantically at the screen with a stylus, as though trying to drag the Virabot away from the trapped sticks."

Dark gawked at them. "This is Noogai we're talking about, right? The Animator who acts like he's above all of us just because he's out there and we're in here?"

"The very same."

"Huh," Dark said. Then, "If you think I'm just gonna 'forgive' him just because he's being more subtle or something-"

"Then I'd be a damn hypocrite," said Chosen.

That got Dark's attention.

Chosen sighed once more, struggling to put their thoughts into words. "Those younger sticks, they seemed so protective of him, as if they've never known what it's like to be chained and imprisoned and forced to dance along to someone else's whims, but I do. I was. He may have 'turned over a new leaf,' but I don't think I'll ever find it in myself to forgive him. At the same time…I've already gotten my revenge, and he hasn't earned any more from the sticks now in his care. If they've found him to be a suitable guardian…I won't act directly on my grudges unless I'm given a reason to."

"…huh," said Dark again. Then they elbowed Chosen. "And you don't want to get your ass handed to you by a kindergartener."

Chosen couldn't stop the surprised laugh that burst out of them. "Well, yes, that too, I suppose."

The two of them chuckled together, and for the moment, everything was okay. Maybe in a bit, Dark would decide to go their own way. Maybe they wouldn't.

But in that moment, as the night owls' IP addresses twinkled like stars in the sky, it was just the two of them.