#(side note: I actually made a plot in my head where this metaphor could work but like it's 18-century human au and it's the only way)

[tenok]

.

[trashlie]

hey! 😼 please don't worry about responding late. please take all the time you need to rest. answering asks can wait!! 💗 and thank you for your elaborate response, you brought up great details that really made me rethink how everything will influence the general plot of the story. i don't even have much to add, and for the sake of brevity i will only address some things. hope you don't mind!

as for our dear kousuke, i've been thinking for a bit… and i feel like even if the media doesn't get involved and everything is kind of glossed over, he's already obviously headed towards a major identity crisis. this incident, the entire night actually, is something he simply cannot align with his version of reality. no wonder kousuke.exe stopped working lmao. how can he NOT have a crisis when he just lost control and acted in a way that, according to his self-perception, is completely out of character for him? because YES, this violence and aggression is something he typically ascribes to nol, never himself. in 213, hansuke asks him "do you know who you are?" (great question my dude) and kou doesn't answer. after what just went down, after facing such a dark side of himself, after beginning to question the past incident, which metaphorically made the ground crack under his feet, can he answer that question?

and i do believe that him questioning himself and his perception of reality (including past and present) is a major step towards defying yui. the crux is, as long as he seeks refuge in this warped reality yui constructed for him, it'll be easy for her to manipulate him, and he can continue excusing her atrocities. so he needs to actually commit to seeking the truth. and this is the hardest and scariest part - how do you even begin to deal with the fact that most of what you believe isn't true? that your MOTHER did this to you? where do you seek safety when you no longer have her? where do you seek safety /from/ her? it's not easy to escape yui's claws. who knows what she's capable of once she's realizes she's about to lose her most valuable pawn. but for kousuke to break free he NEEDS to oppose yui eventually. AGH.

same, i'm nervous about yujing's article too. what the article will reveal exactly… no idea. you brought up some great theories, and i think we have some puzzle pieces (like nol's bad eyesight, yui&kou's physical resemblance, yui's burned/scratched hands, tea?, yujing's friend that got sa'd?, rand's involvement in all this?), but we'll just have to wait and see how they all fit together. nessa's part is what i'm particularly curious about. that's when she disappeared, right? or is that unrelated?

on a more light-hearted side note, thank you for sharing your thoughts on 219 ^___^ i appreciate so much that you highlight little details that usually escape me. because WOW i now totally see that shinae didn't want to sleep because she fears that nol will disappear. he's slipped through her fingers so many times (and even almost died), the possibility to lose him again must terrify her. like, she could very well take a (well-deserved) nap on another empty bed… but no, there she is, holding onto his bed, fighting off sleep, keeping watch. not sure if she's even aware of it, but there is so much tenderness and… yearning or devotion, almost? in her actions. in both their actions, actually, in their attempts to slow down time. and it's ARGGHHH listen i don't even care about romance that much (though i genuinely enjoy their overall dynamic) but these two are killing me with the unspoken yet obvious feelings and the cautious flirting and the butterflies. and i love it.

-lil anon

LMAOOOOO I truly lost it at this line

no wonder kousuke.exe stopped working lmao

This is how I'm going to refer to what happened following what Kousuke read in the Bible lmao kousuke.exe has stopped working

But anyway, yeah, yeah, I think as we get deeper into this, more people are going to come to that realization, that Kousuke has been dealing with something that is SO difficult for him to come out of. Domestic abuse is a living nightmare - especially when there are people who don't see it, but even also when you are afraid to see it. And it's all been orchestrated so well TO make it difficult for him to see it, even if catches a glimpse. Isn't it easy to say "Well we aren't like other families" because that's what she told him and isn't it true? Isn't it easy to fall back on that loyalty, because she's his mother and she couldn't possibly want anything but the best for him? Isn't it terrifying to leave her refuge and feel like there is nowhere else you can go, because you can't trust anyone else, because you've come to believe that everyone must be out to get you that you can never let down your guard, never show any weakness, never let them find a weak spot?

Something really sad about Kousuke is that while I know he knows what kind of woman he is and he knows she's endangered people and plays games with them, that she's like a sadistic cat and all the world are the mice she torments, she's still his mother. And on some level he needs to believe that he isn't one of those mice. Family is complicated, he's been told, their family doesn't act like others. Don't question us just because we aren't what like the other families are like. In a way, he's been lead to doubt even what he observes. Just because they aren't like others doesn't mean it's not wrong... right?

He lacks that coddling and nurturing but in some sad, cold way, Yui still represents safety to him - because she's all he really has. Ugh.

I'm also DYING to know about Nessa. It FEELS like they're related, but I'm not sure. I feel like we need to revisit a timeline of events again. I'm guessing when they were formally introduced, that is when whatever happened to Nessa had happened? So about six years ago. Although, because, according to Kousuke, Nol was emotionally unstable, could it have happened before, and something happened that just pushed him to the brink?

(Also, Kousuke says that Nol meant no harm but was troubled and I REALLY want to know what he means by THAT - especially because Kousuke so intensely believes Nol is violent, and when he was taken away, Nol was asking what he did, saying he didn't even touch him. So?????? So many questions!)

But yeah, at any rate, by the time he got out of there, he didn't have anywhere else to go, so my guess is somewhere in that range - perhaps before he was sent away, but it just really feels like they are closely related, or part of a domino effect - one thing leading to another. It was probably a lot easier to have Nol institutionalized if his legal guardian wasn't around (although I get the feeling with Yui's hands in everything, it wouldn't be too difficult to swing a ruling that Nol was deemed too dangerous and needed to be sent away).

Also, interestingly enough, when Kousuke visits Nol WAY earlier in the series to tell him Shinae (Maya lol) invited them out, he asks "How long has it been since you got out? Four years? Maybe five?" Which doesn't quite align with what he told Shinae. I'm guessing at the time he went over it had been five years, and that Nol had gotten out somewhere in that September to December span, so by the time Shinae asked him, it had officially been 6 years? But. Still. I wonder if that was an oversight early in the story or if yeah, 6 years now as of December?

But back to the main point, I wonder just how much Yujing's article will tell us. I go back and forth on whether or not I think we'll get any insight into Nessa, but I tend to lean into the feeling that whenever we get insight, maybe it will come from Nol? Maybe. But only in the narrative sense of Nol learning to forgive himself/reaching a point where he allows himself to think of her memory and becomes more comfortable talking about her?

It's easy to assume Yui had something to do with what happened to her - and I do not throw out that theory, because Yui sure knows how to get rid of things. But it's just the way that Kousuke admits he has no idea what happened to her and then later says she left Nol that just give me pause. WHAT happened to her?! Of course, especially if it involves Yui, there's a good likelihood that a. he has lied to himself because it's something he can't face or b. he really has no idea because of her skills in manipulation? (And in that case, saying she left him was just a low blow that he threw at Nol?)

Also waaaahhhh thank you for saying that! That's how I feel about every week when the episodes drop actually lol. I am a very emotionally responsive person and it always takes me a couple reads before I start catching certain details (especially if it's a reference to something omg) or just little things I missed (like Shinae's birthdate on the morphine bag!) and the community aspect of discussions pulls through to help me see what I've missed! But because I'm such an emotionally responsive reader, I LATCH ON to little details like choosing to stay awake out of this fear that he'll slip through her finger again, that this moment will pass and the nightmare will resume. Also I'm just a sucker for that kind of tenderness lmao

Your word choice about yearning and devotion really got to me, too, because it just suits that sort of... this sounds cheesy by that almost religious imagery of devotionals because that's kind of what it is? Without them realizing it. Not that I think it's anywhere near this deep but just - something about mutual romance that's compared to this mutual worship, you know? It's something I'm a SUCKER for. And not that Nol is dying, but it has that feeling of keeping vigil, watching over him (and I guess in a way they all HAVE been keeping vigil, since he was unconscious until recently). But also, it just harkens back to all that death and rebirth imagery. Nol off to jail has that feeling of death and rebirth - who will he be when he returns?

But yes I agree with you! I think if ILY got to the end without things ever having gone a romantic route I'd feel just as fulfilled, but I am a SUCKER for tenderness and yearning and they may not be pining right now but if that comes to us I will never stop barking at the moon because THAT IS MY JAM! But yeah! I think it's just a testament to how well done their development has been, that even if you're not romantically inclined it's like... you can't help but be drawn to these little moments, right? ESPECIALLY because we've been watching these two characters in particular go through hell. ESPECIALLY because we've watched Shinae learn to rely on others because of him, and we're getting to see a glimpse of him doing the same. ESPECIALLY because we want them to have little moments of softness.

That's why I can't help but find myself drawn to them as a romantic ship lol. It's not that I need it to happen - it's that they get to me in all the ways that make me feel feral and I can't help but pay attention to them lmaoooooo. Maybe that's how it is for a lot of other readers who ship them? That a lot of just got drawn in because they have such an interesting dynamic and there's something about seeing that tenderness happening between them that just pulls on your heartstrings.

I WANT TO SEE THEM HAPPY AND WARM. I WANT TO SEE THEM AT PEACE. And if warmth and peace comes from each other, then even better lmao

[twinge-of-cosmicangst]

Thinking about the Kendall line in the first season “Buisness is my fucking” and how Shiv is unfaithful to Tom sexually BUT how she was interested in getting Tom very high up at Waystar, so she could have influence in the company through him, which would be mutually beneficial for both of them but even when she decided she wanted the top job for herself she still did want Tom to do well in the company, she did haggle the ATN job for him with Logan. Also worth noting that even though she clearly loves her brothers she literally choose Kendall to take the wrap over cruises rather then say Tom should take the wrap and loose his job, when Logan asked for her opinion. Whereas Tom has been sexually faithful to Shiv (Other then Tabitha snowballing incident, but he did get permission from Shiv) and yet he is the one who betrayed her when it came to their “buisness relationship” to a point where she literally lost her job.

After what Tom did it’s hard to tell which is the worse spouse (it’s pretty close imo) but from Shiv’s point of view Tom is obviously the worst offender because like her brother “business is her fucking” and Tom betrayed her in the buisness sense. Tom and Shiv were supposed to work together to gain as much power and influence at Waystar as possible, even when towards the end of season 3 when their marriage was going pretty badly and Shiv had pretty much forgotten about Tom’s place in the company she still relied on him to help her with the rise of her own position in the company, she was plotting Roman’s downfull with him, and she had no doubt that he would do her bidding as the head of ATN when it came to the supermajority, she TRUSTED him with this very delicate information, despite it being clear that Tom didn’t trust Shiv in any sense by the end of season 3.

A lot of men whose wife tells them to their face that they don’t love them (I actually do think she does love him, but that’s not the point) a wife who is also unfaithful, said husband would probably decide to be unfaithful as well, and Tom did, but not sexually, because, buisness is Tom’s fucking too, and he made sure Greg gets promoted as well as him, in his deal with Logan while simultaneously ruining his wife’s career. From Tom’s pov it’s no longer Tom and Shiv who are the Waystar power couple it’s Tom and Greg, in Tom’s fucked mind Greg is basically his work wife, a replacement of Shiv, hense Nero and Sporus. Other people have pointed out how Greg is framed to look like “the other woman” in the show, the main example of this is obviously the scenes where, Tom refused sex from Shiv, then looked over at her at night, made sure she was asleep and then called Greg, showing Greg also in bed then showing both of them in a diner late at night. Tom is basically metaphorically cheating on Shiv with Greg. And there’s no way for season 4 to avoid the weird corporate love triangle they’ve created with Tom, Shiv, and Greg. They’ll have to address it some way, surely. There is inevitably going to be tension between Tom and Shiv but I think there will probably be tension between Shiv and Greg as well (even if it’s just from Shiv’s side, as in Shiv totally hating Greg, and Greg just basically being indifferent to her, athough I do think Greg could develop contempt for her as well as ken and Rome, because of how they obviously view themselves as superior to him)

[banannabethchase]

3 Geniuses and Alex

Alex has been...focused on himself lately. Shock of his lifetime when he realizes that Nora and June are together.

Note: Silly little plot bunny that's hopping around my noggin. I'm trying to decide where to perchance go with this :)

~

Alex isn’t sure when he started not noticing.

It hits him one day while they’re planning the 2020 Young Americans Gala, while Henry snores on FaceTime and Alex sorts out invitations, because of the way June’s drooling on Nora’s shoulder. He’s not being metaphorical, either. Drool, actual drool, is oozing from June’s mouth onto Nora’s shoulder, and Nora hasn’t even responded. In fact, he notes, Nora presses a kiss to the top of Nora’s head and keeps on working.

“Um.”

Nora doesn’t even notice him. She’s typing something, god knew what, but it’s fast and its focused and – there it is again! She paused her work – paused her work!!! – to brush some hair from June’s face.

Alex tries to subtly clear his throat, but it comes out like a hacking cough.

Nora looks up at him. “Are you dying or something?”

He opens his mouth, then closes it. Then tilts his head to the side. “That?”

Nora snorts. “You’re gonna have to be more specific. This is why you’re the Alex in 3 Geniuses and Alex.”

He blinks. “Is – you and Nora?”

That’s when June sits up, blinking. “Hmm?”

He looks between June and Nora. “You – y’all’re…” he trails off. He’s never felt this bamboozled in his life. Devastated, yes. Startled or shocked or horrified, of course. But in this moment, he is truly bamboozled.

June’s face splits into a shit eating grin. “Holy shit, did he finally figure it out?”

“You couldn’t have been stupid for three more weeks?” Nora asks, exasperated. “I would have won the bragging rights of the century.” She pouts. “I bet it would take you a full year to figure it out.”

“I’m sorry, a year?!” Alex exclaims. “You – when did you two – the last Gala?!” He makes some sort of noise he couldn’t recreate if his life depended on it. “When – when me and Henry…” He stares at them. “How dare you two have a moment and not tell me!”

“You were very wrapped up in your Henry problems, you sweet, foolish dumbass.” June says. “Yes, since last Gala. Where do you think the two of us and Pez ended up? A staff meeting?”

Alex closes his laptop, because no amount of organization could distract him right now. “You guys are FUCKING?!”

There’s a distinctly British sound of startle from the phone. “Who’s fucking, love?” Henry asks, bleary eyed. “Turn me. I can’t see anything but your jaw on the floor.”

Alex turns him to June and Nora. “They!”

“They what?”

“They – they are DOING things!”

To his horror, Henry just cackles. “Oh, wow.” He looks annoyingly good as he shifts and runs his fingers through his hair. Dick. “Took you long enough.”

Alex turns the camera back to himself. “YOU knew?!”

“Of course I knew,” he replies, clipped accent sounding all the more infuriating. “They were all over each other in Texas, when we did karaoke.”

“They were not!”

Nora, who had been strangely silent, pulls up one of the photos they took in Texas. It’s June, draped over Nora’s lap, with her hand in Nora’s bathing suit top. Nora’s face is gleeful, laughing, and her hand is on June’s ass. “You took this picture, you goddamn shit for brains.”

He blinks. He did take the picture, but he thought they were just – “Oh, fuck, I gal pal’ed you two!”

Henry laughs. “Yeah, that’s the day I asked them if it was the real thing or not. It’s one of the reasons I panicked that day, you know? Seeing them so casually in love made me have one of my moments.”

“And you didn’t tell me?!” Alex makes what he hopes is comparable to Henry’s distressed British noise, but Texan. “Why?”

Henry shrugs. “I wanted in on the bet.”

Alex slumps against the chair, making some sort of involuntary whimpering sound. “You’ve kept this from me for a year, though?”

“Did you think all our bedsharing was platonic?” Nora laughs. “No, babes, you and Princey are the fanfiction stereotypes.” Her grin goes a little dirty. “Unlike you two, when I know what I want, I go for it.”

Alex recoils. “Oh, god. Oh, no. No, I don’t like this line of conversation at all.” He looks to June, who is putting her hair back into a ponytail with a look of victory. “You! You are sleeping with my best friend!”

“Okay, first, our best friend,” she corrects, not even giving him the dignity of pausing her hair, “second, dating. Girlfriends with. And, you know,” she returns Nora’s dirty grin, “sleeping with. Fucking. Banging.”

Alex whimpers. “But – but I did first.”

“Alexander Dumbfuckery Claremont Diaz,” Nora says, her voice dangerous, “if you are insinuating that I am your sloppy seconds, you will die tonight, and no one will find your body.”

He shakes his head. “I just…” He stares blankly into the distance.

“Ladies, I think you’ve broken him,” Henry says, and, in Alex’s opinion, sounding far more pleased than appropriate.

“Wait until he finds out about the Pez part.”

Alex sets his phone down and scrubs his face. “There – there’s a Pez part? I’m gonna need so much alcohol for this.” He reaches out to June briefly, then snatches his hand back, horrified.

“Oh, I’m not gross like you, I wash my hands after,” June says firmly, and she stands up. “Plus, we showered, like, four hours ago.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t a clean shower,” Nora says, and the way she says it, while typing away at god knows what, without even looking at Alex, breaks him again.

“Do I want the story?” he asks, feeling like the world is crumbling around him but also hitting him with one of those toy mallets.

“You’re getting it whether you like it or not, darling,” Henry says. “Plug in your phone. I’ve got to be here for this.”

[lioncunt]

any way the wind blows review!!!

gonna put it under a cut but tl;dr i really really loved it and even the things that i was on the fence about i’ve decided i love as well lmfao

so i kind of knew going into both this and wayward son that the plot wouldn’t really EVER be as narratively satisfying as carry on’s. it would definitely be interesting and have a lot of cool thematic elements, but in terms of being a grand deconstruction of the “chosen one” genre, it couldn’t ever get better than carry on. and i’m so happy rainbow didn’t try to MAKE it that. she didn’t pull a supernatural and up the stakes to impossible, outlandish degrees. both wayward son and awtwb had realistic, fascinating plots that served as a metaphor for the internal struggles of the characters.

the reason i’m beginning this review by talking about the plot is because it’s what i’ve seen the most criticism directed towards. and like i DO get it, i also was taken aback at first at how the actual plot is kind of background noise for the first couple hundred pages. but like...i think it WORKS. again, this whole trilogy is a deconstruction. that’s its PURPOSE. obviously it’s doing other things as well, but it started by taking this well-worn and well-loved trope and completely turning it on its head, giving us permission to acknowledge all the damage it causes and how our love of this type of story is honestly kind of harmful. we turn off that part of our brains when we read harry potter or something else with traumatized child protagonists, in order for us to actually enjoy it, but the simon snow trilogy has always said, “hey, this is kind of fucked up, huh? you’re allowed to think that.”

anyway, the way that translates to the plot here is that there’s not always some huge mystical big bad, or obviously evil antagonist. the horror can be going on in the world around you, in the background of your day-to-day life dealing with your own shit, creeping up on you until suddenly your loved ones are spouting off nonsense that is an absolutely CHILLING allegory for eugenics, by the way, which i’ve seen NOBODY talk about. the clear political parallels were so well done, but not heavy-handed, and they worked wonderfully as an ending to this story. simon at the end being a target for an angry mob, who are victims of intense ableism themselves (the metaphor of being a weak mage = having a disability), how these religious extremists will point at what they deem abnormal and use them as a scapegoat, the disgusting “survival of the fittest” mentality leading to “i can make this society great again” - it was all just incredibly well written, in my opinion. and the fact that it happened so slowly, in the background, made it all the better. you don’t really notice how bad it’s getting until it’s BAD.

it also, again, works so well as a manifestation of the characters’ inner strife. others have put it better than me already, so i won’t talk about it too much, but the fact that the book is saying you don’t need to be like everyone else in order to accomplish great things and have a good life, you don't need to have magic, you don’t need to be human, you don’t need to be neurotypical or able-bodied or straight or white or ANYTHING these people will have you believe in order to make you obedient to them and hateful to others -- it’s fantastic. 

this kind of segues into the other big criticism i’m seeing, which is simon and baz’s one-day breakup. again, this has already been analyzed well, so i won't ramble about it, but wayward son was their breakup. metaphorically speaking. and i’m glad that it didn’t take some big, grand moment for them to get back together, even though it would have been narratively cathartic. that’s not how life works - it was so much better and realistic to have simon face the harsh difficulties of TRYING than dragging out a separation plot line that would have added NOTHING to his character. or baz’s. the only thing about their entire relationship that i would have done a bit differently is shorten the timeline, because a year and a half is a very long and honestly unrealistic time to go in a relationship without talking about sexual history or going on dates, even if there’s a lot of baggage. but that’s not that big a deal and i’m easily able to look past it.

(as a side note I'm getting annoyed at seeing all these takes that there’s too much sexual content. like i get it because the first two books are solidly YA and this is being marketed as YA even though it’s definitely NA, but like....sex is important. sex scenes and sexual content are an extremely important part of depicting the human experience. and lack of sex as well!! every single intimate scene between them was NOT super graphic and had such incredibly important significance narratively and character-wise - and yeah that includes any kinks that were brought up, like jesus they’re in their 20s and have been in a non-sexual relationship for a year and a half i think it’s pretty fucking relevant that there are intimate scenes!!! anyway moving on.)

i really loved penny and shepard’s plot - their relationship was so wonderful and charming and excellent for their characters, and i only wish we could have gotten their demon plot threaded into the larger picture, because after shepard was cured it felt like they were just standing there. that’s one of my very few complaints about the book. but they’re such good characters and i love them SO MUCH.

AND THANK GOD FOR AGATHA AND NIAMH. like i cannot put into words how fucking happy i was when i realized where that was headed. the cinematic nature of agatha and niamh helping the goat give birth while simon’s flying in the chapel and being targeted by a mob was just. so cool like i can’t even describe it it was so coooooool and then agatha and niamh KISSING and agatha found her PLACE and I'm so happy for her.

just in general the characters and relationships were fucking exquisite. i can’t help but love the way RR writes, especially her dialogue. it’s so real and three dimensional and her characters truly come alive and i care about them and love them so much. i’m so happy they’re happy, i wouldn’t have been able to stand it if they weren’t.

and everything got wrapped up so well in my opinion!! i don’t know what the hell people are talking about when they say they still have questions, like girl what about??? simon found his family, simon got a sword that isn’t tied to trauma, baz found out that he’ll get to grow old with simon, all their families are okay, penny and shepard are in love, agatha’s herding goats and a lesbian, there will probably be new threats and antagonists but they'll be able to handle them, life will continue to be difficult but they’ll get through it like WHAT do you not understand what’s not clicking i genuinely want to know. 

ok actually i have ONE single question and that’s. did baz pick up the sword at the end. because the way it’s written it sounds like he did and i like do not understand that at all. someone answer please.

anyway that’s my review 10/10 would recommend

[themollyjay]

The Myths of Forced Diversity and Virtue Signaling.

In my novel Mail Order Bride, the three main characters are a lesbian and two agendered aliens.  In my novel Scatter, the main character is a lesbian, the love interest is a pansexual alien, and the major side characters include a half Cuban, half black Dominican lesbian, a Chinese Dragon, a New York born Jewish Dragon, and a Transgender Welsh Dragon.  In my novel The Master of Puppets, the Main Characters are a lesbian shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborg and a half black, half Japanese lesbian.  The major side characters include three gender fluid shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborgs, and a pansexual human.  In my novel Transistor, the main character is a Trans Lesbian, the love interest is a Half human/Half Angel non-observant Ethiopian Jew, and the major side characters include a Transgender Welsh Dragon (the same one from Scatter), a Transgender woman, a Latino Lesbian, an autistic man, three Middle Eastern Arch Angels, and a hive mind AI with literally hundreds of genders.  In my novel The Inevitable singularity, one of the main characters is a lesbian, another has a less clearly defined sexuality but she is definitely in love with the lesbian, and the third is functionally asexual due to a vow of chastity she takes very seriously.  The major side characters include a straight guy from a social class similar to the Dalit (commonly known as untouchables) in India, a bisexual woman, a man who is from a race of genetically modified human/frog hybrids, and a woman from a race of genetically modified humans who are bred and sold as indentured sex workers.

Why am I bringing all of this up?  Well, first, because it’s kind of cool to look at the list of different characters I’ve created, but mostly because it connects to what I want to talk about today, which should be obvious from the title of the essay.  The concepts of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’.

For those who aren’t familiar with these terms, they’re very closely related concepts.  ‘Forced Diversity’ is the idea that characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are only ever included in a story because of outside pressure from some group (usually called Social Justice Warriors, or The Woke Brigade or something similar) to meet some nebulous political agenda.  The caveat to this is, of course, that you can have a women/women present as long as they are hot, don’t make any major contributions to the resolution of the plot, and the hero/heroes get to fuck them before the end of the story. ‘Virtue Signaling’, according to Wikipedia, is a pejorative neologism for the expression of a disingenuous moral viewpoint with the intent of communicating good character.

The basic argument is that Forced Diversity is a form of virtue signaling.  That no one would ever write characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males because they want to.  They only do it to please the evil SJW’s who are somehow both so powerful that they force everybody to conform to their desires, yet so irrelevant that catering to them dooms any creative project to financial failure via the infamous ‘go woke, go broke’ rule.

What the people who push this idea of Forced Diversity tend to forget is that we exist at a point in time when creators actually have more creative freedom than are any other people in history.  Comic writers can throw up a website and publish their work as a webcomic without having to go through Marvel, DC or one of the other big names, or get a place in the dying realm of the news paper comics page.  Novelists can self-publish with fairly little upfront costs, musicians can use places like YouTube and Soundcloud to get their work out without having to worry about music publishers.  Artists can hock their work on twitter and tumblr and a dozen other places. Podcasts are relatively cheap to make, which has opened up a resurgence in audio dramas.  Even the barrier to entry for live action drama is ridiculously low.

So, in a world where creators have more freedom than ever before, why would they choose to people their stories with characters they don’t want there?  The answer, of course, is that they wouldn’t.  Authors, comic creators, indie film creators and so on aren’t putting diverse characters into their stories because they are being forced to. They’re putting diverse characters into their stories because they want to.  Creators want to tell stories about someone other than the generically handsome hypermasculine cisgendered heterosexual white males that have been the protagonists of so many stories over the years that we’ve choking on it. A lot of times, creators want to tell stories about people like themselves.  Black creators want to tell stories about the black experience. Queer creators want to tell stories about the queer experience.

I’m an autistic, mentally ill trans feminine abuse survivor.  Every day, I get up and I struggle with PTSD, with an eating disorder, with severe body dysmorphia, with anxiety and depression and just the reality of being autistic and transgender.  I deal with the fact that the religious community I grew up in views me as an abomination, and genuinely believes I’m going to spend eternity burning in hell.  I deal with the fact that people I’ve known for decades, even members of my own family, regularly vote for politician who publicly state that they want to strip me of my civil rights because I’m queer.  I’m part of a community that experiences a disproportionately high murder and suicide rate.  I’ve spent multiple years of my life deep in suicidal depression, and to this day, I still don’t trust myself around guns.

As a creator, I want to talk about those issues.  I want to deal with my life experiences.  I want to create characters that embody and express aspects of my lived experience and my day-to-day reality.  No one is forcing me to put diversity into my books.  I try to include Jewish characters as often as I can because there have been a number of important Jewish people in my life.  I include queer people because I’m queer and the vast majority of friends I interact with on a regular basis are queer.  I include people with mental illnesses and trauma because I am mentally ill and have trauma, and I know a lot of people with mental illnesses and trauma.  My work may be full of fantastical elements, aliens and dragons and angels and superheroes and magic and ultra-high technology and AI’s and talking cats and robot dogs and shape shifters and telepaths and all sorts of other things, but at the core of the stories is my own lived experience, and neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are vanishingly rare in that experience.

Now, I can hear the comments already.  The ‘okay, maybe that’s true for individual creators, but what about corporate artwork?’.   Maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea.

The thought here is that corporations are bowing to social pressure to include characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males, and that is somehow bad. But here’s the thing. Corporations are going to chase the dollars.  They aren’t bowing to social pressure.  There’s no one holding a gun to some executive’s head saying, “You must have this many diversity tokens in every script.”  What is happening is that corporations are starting to clue into the fact that people who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males have money.  They are putting black characters in their shows and movies because black people watch shows and spend money on movies.  They are putting queer people in shows and movies because queer people watch shows and spend money on movies.  They are putting women in shows and movies because women watch shows and spend money on movies.

No one is forcing these companies to do this.  They are choosing to do it, the same way individual creators are choosing to do it.  In the companies’ cases the choices are made for different reasons.  It’s not because they are necessarily passionate about telling stories about a particular experience, but because they want to create art to be consumed by the largest audience possible, which means that they have to expand their audience beyond the neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white male by including characters from outside of that demographic.

And the reality is, the cries of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ almost always come from within that demographic.  Note the almost.  There are a scattering of individuals from outside that demographic which do subscribe to the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ myths, but that is a whole other essay.  However, within that demographic, lot of the people who cry about ‘forced diversity’ see media and content as a Zero-Sum game.  The more that’s created for other people, the less that is created for them.

In a way, they’re right. There are only so many slots for TV shows each week, there are only so many theaters, only so much space on comic bookshelves and so on.  But at the end of the day, its literally impossible for them to consume all the content that’s being produced anyway.  So, while there is, theoretically less content for them to consume, as a practical matter it’s a bit like someone who is a meat eater going to a buffet with two hundred items, and then throwing a tantrum because five of the items happen to be vegan.

The worst part is, if they could let go of how wound up they are about the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ they could probably enjoy the content that’s produced for people other than them.  I mean, I’m a pasty ass white girl, and I loved Black Panther.

So, to wrap out, creators, make what you want to make, and ignore anyone who cries about forced diversity or virtue signaling.  And to people who are complaining about forced diversity and virtue signaling, I want to go back to the buffet metaphor.  You need to relax.  Even if there are a few vegan options on the buffet, you can still get your medium rare steak, or your chicken teriyaki or whatever it is you want.  Or, maybe, just maybe, you could give the falafel a try. That shit is delicious.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

[1/?] Sorry for venting. I just saw some bad takes that gave me a lot of feelings. Personally, JC stresses me out every time he comes on screen, but I don't mind it when JC fans say fan-typical things like how they like JC because he wears purple, or is grumpy, or they think he's hot, or that they ship x*ch*ng because the cql actors have nice jawlines. They're harmless, fun takes, and while I don't agree with some of them, I see where they're coming from

Hello there anon, vent away as that is what my blog is open for as I love/hate on Jiang Cheng as he is in the plot, as well as all of my beef with what has been done to him for the EN side of the fanbase! I am more than fine listening and engaging with the unsavory "unpopular" discussions of his canon behavior and this goes for anyone of course that needs an open play area. I'll try to engage with what you have sent point by point as succinctly as I can.

[2/?] (some of these are obviously crack, and I am a fan of a few problematic faves). But then there are stans that just have to put other characters down to make JC look good. Like, I think some fans take their freedom of interpretation for granted because most of these takes aren't even labeled 'headcanon,' 'ooc,' or 'crack' anymore. Stans feel that their interpretations are valid, and while they are, valid =/= canon, and they're treating these takes as canon, which becomes popular fanon.

I enjoy Jiang Cheng for what he is, however as I had said it took me another reread to get to my stance of him being the negative mirror to Lan Wangji's positive and my comfort with that for the story once I realized what purpose he served. He is only insofar tragic in regards to his circumstances, but it does not absolve him for what he is at his core (no pun, but I can make a very nice metaphor that even with a piece of Wei Wuxian in him he is still forever unable and unwilling to stand by him equally all while stagnating where as Lan Wangji is able to flourish, grow and mature with nothing of import left from Wei Wuxian in a technical sense). As for ships, I am a little dirty Xicheng whore for fun and can say there is a sense of entertainment for me making it work with two people where one is wildly ignorant and the other wildly rabid. But that is outside of what is established as canon in the work and I always try to keep the two strictly separate due to the skew fanon perpetuates.

3/?] And now, it's not clear what part of the fanon references canon JC or the canon events of mdzs. JC is an asshole; I don't like him as a person, but I do think that he's a complex character motivated by many issues (sup, YeeZY), which makes him fascinating to explore. Unfortunately, erasing his culpability also removes his agency. JC should be allowed to be an asshole character who makes his own decisions even if they're the wrong ones. He has made his own tragedy by constantly casting Wei Wuxian as the villain of his life.

Now thanks to you I will be using YeeZY to forever and now to acknowledge Madam Yu (this is your fault for the new tag). From a standing from storytelling I agree that he is complex in the Jianghu for MDZS. Where in the usual political intrigue of Wuxia, he would be the mustache twirling villain that is outright unforgivable in narration, it is by favor of Wei Wuxian's narration that has an early steeping of empathy for him. And he is not meant to be seen as ultimately sympathetic, the work builds up his hate against Wei Wuxian who tries to rationalize it all several times until he is finally unable to. Jiang Cheng is the antithesis to Lan Wangji and the false bait to get attached to in Wei Wuxian's first life. I will make the note their meeting in Yiling is lukewarm between both as they exchange nothing really in terms of conversation and all pleasantries are left in terms of Jiang Yanli for Wei Wuxian. By this point Wei Wuxian has already switched his yearnings of platonically wanting a part of Jiang Cheng's life, to subconscious romantic inclinations about Lan Wangji and the perceived loss of being in the other's life.

The very point of Jiang Cheng as the deconstruction, is that he has no passion in life despite his apparent exploits because he put a shadow to hang over himself as an excuse to say others think he is not good enough. He has no deeper motivations than pure selfishness by the end of the work and is pure frivolity that he has built up losing the meaning of his sect as a tradition. He had his agency (more than anyone I might add in the work due to his social position) that he used to build his reputation as a passive rich sect leader that has little to do with civilian problems.

4/?] And I think a JC, somehow, that realizes that he did something wrong and is working hard to change for the better and gain self-actualization to become that UWU best jiujiu the stans want him to be, who is ready to talk (not yell at) with WWX, apologize to him, and create a better, healthier relationship with him is a much more powerful reconciliation and happy ending than 'everyone is wrong and mean and they all apologize to JC, which magically gets rid of all his issues'.

He is forced out of culpability in reconciliation because simply put, his audience do not like the reality that relationships fray and dissolve with no further resolution other than we as adults both need to move on for safety and good health. It is not acceptable in real life and fiction is allowed to place that also in it's thematic relationships. He has a small, small spark of recognition at the end of the main story, however he himself seems to choose to ignore it, as change is hard and he has never taken to that well as was foreshadowed with his dogs and the idea of sharing a space with Wei Wuxian. To write this is an awful lot of work into his psyche which is not a nice place, he is a terrible being and downplaying that to make a sugar sweet person does not work instantaneously. He is the one responsible for the entire fallout with Wei Wuxian and he hysterically realizes that even as he tries to continue to blame Wei Wuxian.

The issue that I have with his current stan culture, is that they already view him as something he is not. They play at bicycle with all of the other protagonists that have positive traits that they strip as they see fit; Good affirming loving to children adult Lan Wangji, Self-sacrificing ultimately did it all for love and care Wei Wuxian, Hard exterior but softened to who they consider an annoyance Wen Qing, Loyal as partners in their exploits on the field and always have each others back Wen Ning. They even take Jin Guangyao's persona of playing damsel and using that as a positive to soften up Jiang Cheng into something he has never been for anyone for ships.

[5/5] Also, making WWX/WN/LWJ apologize just makes them look better than JC. Like, stans supposedly love JC, so they ahouldn't be lazy and work hard to give him actual character development. Again, I'm sorry for spamming your ask. It just really baffles me about where they get these 'hot' takes (All I'm going to say is that JC was ungrateful, and WN had a reason verbally dismantle him).

They see this, but, they will spin it in any way to excuse Jiang Cheng due to the story itself showing that he was in the wrong to everyone he flung accusations at and his hate. No one but him is at fault for his spite as he had gotten his revenge on the ones that had ruined Lotus Pier and killed his parents. His own resentment pitted him against good and well meaning people that he refused to help as he mimicked his mother's words about raising their heads higher out of goodness instead of keeping low and staying self-centered. There is the underlying criticism of taking individual arrogance as self-care at the cost of others. Each point that Wen Ning makes is exactly what Jiang Cheng himself knows as he hated Wei Wuxian for being something he could not be or even wanted to be. Jiang Cheng wants kindness but does not understand that kindness to others needs to be selfless and accept the hurt that can come with that in life. He encompasses the fall from the path of buddhist lifestyle, "The Three Poisons" to Wangxian's "Without Envy" at the stories end.

[6/5] P.S. I'm not saying I want reconciliation fics, but I just feel that if stans want JC to have a happy ending, then I think that he should actively work for it. I think it would be interesting to see what force of nature would push him through a character development because throwing a therapist at him would result in a murder.

"I'm not saying I want reconciliation fics, but I just feel that if stans want JC to have a happy ending, then I think that he should actively work for it."

They do not think he has to work for it, they say his tragedy is enough, while heaping accusations against Wei Wuxian and saying his own are not enough to absolve him. Something Wei Wuxian has never denied and told all present they are allowed to forever hate him for what he had done in the past, but that they need to find a way to live in a life that is always moving on. He learned that grudges do nothing once they are absolved and it leaves you with hate with nothing else to do with it once that object is gone. In terms of reconciliation, I do not ever think that either want anything other than a distant peaceful out of each other's life set up. Jiang Cheng does not need Wei Wuxian in his life to be satisfied and never has since he used him as the handicap to hide behind to stay angry and miserable. Being without that fallback opens the world far more for him to change than him ever interacting like an old friend with Wei Wuxian ever again, if he ever had the guts to do that.

[corvixa]

I am alive! Long, rambly post ahead.

So. I did a thing. After 2 or 3 years on a waiting list of therapy, I got it. Good right? Ahuh...

A weekly appointment at 10.30 am is apparently my kryptonite.

It was fine at first, but I got utterly sidelined with the cumulative effect and the fact I wasn't able to reset my energy. But, I was determined like, I'd breakthrough.

Uh. That did not happen. All I could do was attend that appointment. For the first time since I started writing again post house explosion, I couldn't even write. I managed to not some ideas down. Carry on a few plots in my head. Still, even with my insomnia, I was stuck with my facemask on, desperately trying to get enough energy to eat, and occasionally failing even that.

After I had to take a break for a few weeks running for dental appointments and Covid Vaccines, I gained enough energy back to do that look around and reflect thing.

Hell, I might not have been perfect before this, but I enjoyed things. I chatted with friends. I lurked in the Stark Tower discord plotting new ideas. I got to write. I got to do real-world hobbies. I got to spend time awake with my partners!

So, after my vaccine and several days with a very high fever, I kind of decided. Fuck it. This isn't worth it. I have clawed my little part of this world out, and I am not going to lose it.

Sometimes you have to weigh up the cost-benefit analysis. What good may come from these 16 appointments was utterly stopper by the bomb dropped on my life. So I came out of my fever cave of blankets, had an incredibly hot bath and decided this wasn't working.

The early appointment alone was killing me; I am crepuscular by nature. Not being sarcastic there; this is how I have dealt with severe levels of insomnia since age 12. I tried being an average human that wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night for decades, and it didn't work. I am most active after 11 pm, and I nap during the day. It's not a perfect fix; if it were, the Gold series would literally not exist as that is my Insomnia in a cape. However, sleeping at least once in a 24 hour period nearly every day is THE WIN. Being not awake at 10.30 am, but already at an appointment, where I was expected to be coherent? Weekly? With no variable illnesses? Even the stint in hospital I had was around me making these appointments... Not getting better from fall.

Honestly, I have no idea what past me was thinking, but after they went to 2 or 3 appointments and didn't feel too bad, they committed hard to this course of action. That was a mistake that I thought I had learned a long time ago, that assessing the work-life balance is critical. This might not be work, but it was the same thing.

So, How am I doing? Better. Not aces, but the Covid fever of doom made me miss last weeks appointment. The week before, it was the Covid.2 Jab and today I had the dentist.

And this morning, before my dental appointment, I started writing. My partners were over the moon. I am not back on full capacitor yet, but I am clawing my way back. Heck, I felt alive enough to prat about in the garden as my partner wanted to take a few pics of me given my pairing of BRIGHT TOXIC GREEN tights and lace trousers. I realised I hadn't set foot in the garden since this therapy thing started. My dog, Loki, was bouncing around like a loon bringing me every stashed ball he could find.

If anything gives you clarity, it's the excitement of a collie confronted with man balls, your partner's joy at you starting something you love again and actually feeling like a human being.

Ness is calling the therapy people when she gets the social confidence points required to deal with bombing me out of this whilst being my stalwart wall, so I don't get bullied onto the phone (hello, Hemiplegic Migraine) or guilted back into just trying a few more sessions.

It's not like my therapist was bad. He was cool. He dealt with this ADHD, Autistic, Severe Insomniac, Asexual weirdo and never once questioned any of these identifiers. I just don't have the energy to do anything back to back, week after week, at 10.30 am—even fun things.

So, I am probably going to sleep a lot. I am not back to my previous form yet; my Hubs is saying I made it out of the cave, but I still have Palladium Poisoning because apparently, I have infected his brain to think of things in Iron Man metaphors.

This is a bit all over, but I felt like I wanted to get it down. Especially for anyone worried about my sudden absence.

TLDR, the road to hell is lined with good intentions; sometimes the good thing becomes the bad thing, sometimes you lose yourself trying to do things the right way, and everything ends up wrong. Sometimes the right thing is the thing people see as wrong. All I know is that I wrote something for the first time this morning because of insomnia, and I couldn't be happier. My mind is starting to pick up speed again, this dense dog of confusion, exhaustion and pain is clearing, and I have goals.

Which I think is what really matters, right?

Oh, side note, some things did get done whilst I was busy being a zombie. After nearly 3 decades of waiting, at 33 (yeah, I've wanted to change my name a long ass time.) I got my name changed! So I can sign this off in a way that makes me smile. I dropped my old first name, and took my first middle name as my new forname. (I was, and still am, one of those ginormous name people.) I also went back in history and timestoned my surname. (So, I was named utterly after my dad. Literally, I have the female version of his name >.< but I wanted to keep that connection to my genealogy whilst not having my dads name.) Boom.

Enjoy the earlier mentioned pictures of me pratting about in the garden. I am a photographer. I do not know how to pose. What you are seeing is sarcasm 😅. (If you want to know where the fabulous tights came from, Google Snag Tights. They are truly a miracle and a gift from the Gods. They have actual sizes and don't tear after one wear, even if you are more leg than human. So you stretch and destroy tights by walking.)

- Morgan / M-Mac-C

[mintwithchoco]

loonathesmut: Dawn

LOOΠΔ Jinsoul x Male Reader

Word Count: 6306 words

Categories: smut, oral, shower sex, stepsister! jinsoul

note; my first smut! i haven't seen anyone do a jinsoul smut so here! i think i focused too much on the plot but i tried my best to incorporate a lot of smut in here! i feel like it's also pretty cringey so bash me all you want lmao

note(05312021); thanks to an ask from an anon, me and @closedafterdark​ have done a few edits and even added a shower sex scene to make the story better.

aff link

12 AM was displayed on the clock.

You were still awake, trying to finish an assignment that has been keeping you up the past three days.

It was raining harshly outside, the droplets pelting your window adding on to your laziness. You wanted to wrap yourself under the covers of your blanket and drink a cup of piping hot chocolate. Instead, you were working on a chemical equation when your attention was moved to the knocking sounds on your front door.

You were a bit confused about who was coming to your apartment this late at night. You suddenly thought about your friend. Maybe he forgot something? Or maybe it’s your mom, making a surprise visit at midnight. Though, that one seemed less likely as she was usually asleep by 8 PM.

You quickly rushed towards the door. To your surprise - it was neither your mom nor your friend. It was your stepsister, Jinsol.

You and Jinsol have been step siblings since you both were kids. She’s only a year older than you, which made it easier for you to bond with her. You still remember the days where you and her were playing hide and seek, beating each other in Super Smash Bros and sharing lunch together at school.

You and her were almost like real siblings, some might even say twins because of the similarities. Both of you had the same interest in food, music, etc. Furthermore, you were always together with Jinsol everywhere you went. If people didn’t know that you are both step siblings, chances are that you would’ve been mistaken as a good-looking couple.

But the truth was, you did have a little crush on her. You knew that it was wrong, but her personality is really similar to your ideal type. Caring, adorable, and a little clumsy at times, you obviously couldn’t say no to her. Adding on the obvious fact that she is really pretty from head to toe, it’s no wonder you were always nervous around her.

Now that you two were grown up, you have taken different paths in life. She has become an idol in a group called Girl of the Month, or more commonly referred to as Loona. The group has been doing well these days and of course, you were happy for her. You, on the other hand, continued your studies at a university in Incheon in the biochemistry field. Even though you and Jinsol were not living together anymore, both of you still kept in contact. It was almost a requirement to message each other almost every day and video calling whenever possible.

“Noona? Why are you-” you asked, blinking your eyes at her. She interrupted you from finishing your sentence by holding up two plastic bags with takeaway food inside. You automatically get them from her hands.

“The company gave me a week of vacation. Haven’t seen you in a while so I decided to pay my lovely brother a visit!” Jinsol said enthusiastically.

“But, why now though? It’s dangerous to be out at night, let alone someone as clumsy as you could get harmed.” You said, teasing her as a way to mask your visible concern.

“There’s less people at midnight. Plus, I had a bodyguard on the way here.” Jinsol answered, kicking off her shoes while entering your apartment.

“Oh really? Where is he?” You asked, peeking outside your door and not seeing anyone else with her.

“I told him to go back home. Which means, you have to take me back tomorrow! Ahh, it’s been a while since I’ve been here!” Jinsol answered while walking around the living room, looking at all of the new trinkets and decorations you have accumulated since her last visit.

You sighed deeply as you watched her pace around. Jinsol then plopped down face first onto your couch and gestured at you to sit beside her. You walked towards the couch, placing the bags of food on the table nearby and sat down beside her while holding in your nervousness.

Why were you nervous, you wondered. Is it because it’s been awhile since you’ve seen her in person? 

She was wearing a black long sleeved crop top with a black sleeveless top underneath, allowing you to see her toned abdomen. Her black shorts made your heart race faster due to how short they were, showing off her extremely long legs. Her creamy thighs looked delicious and the subtle hint of her buttcheeks were making your loins begin to burn with desire. You were thinking of very impure thoughts but did your best to suppress them.

Jinsol reached for the remote and turned on the television. You opened the bags and began taking out the styrofoam boxes of food out.

“By the way, why are you still up at this time? You were always asleep as early as possible.” Jinsol asked.

“As usual, assignments. I’ve worked on them for days now. Seems like they’re impossible to finish.” You said while opening the boxes. Once they were opened, you instantly smiled as the fragrant aroma of the food traveled into your nostrils. 

“Fried chicken? Oh you shouldn’t have!” You quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed some utensils. Jinsol simply smiled at your actions.

“What do you want to drink?” You asked.

“Do you have any Sprite?” Jinsoul said.

“Yeah, I do.” You opened the refrigerator and took out two green cans of the unmistakable beverage.

With utensils on your right hand and the two cans of Sprite on your left, you went back to the couch and gently put them down. Both of you quickly dig into the food while watching a random movie that Jinsol put on.

The both of you talked a lot while eating, the movie serving as a background afterthought. From the funny moments during her fansigns to your experience working part-time at a daycare, your heart was constantly beating. The nervousness could be heard in your voice with each of your responses. You were quiet whenever she spoke and stuttered when answering her questions, often repeating certain words a few times. Every time you stutter, Jinsol would smile. Sometimes she would giggle for no reason and it only increased the furious rate your heart was pumping at.

Halfway through the movie, Jinsol suddenly asks a question that you’ve been avoiding to answer.

“Hey, baby brother?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Jinsol asked casually.

“Uhh no..I’m too busy with assignments and studies. I barely have enough time for sleep these days, much less a girlfriend.” You answered calmly.

“Ehh..really? How about a crush?”

“Not really. I don’t really know any girls at the university. Most of my interactions with them are about assignments or if they could borrow my notes from the previous lecture.” You felt slightly bad for lying to her, since you knew a handful of pretty girls in your university.

“How about you noona, are you interested in anyone?” You directed her question right back at her, mentally preparing yourself to be heartbroken.

“Yeah, I do actually.” All the color in your face was gone as you felt your heart metaphorically being glass and shattering into a million pieces. But you still held out hope that it was just one of her jokes...

“Oh really? Then tell me how attractive this guy is.” You teased.

“Hmm, let’s see. He’s handsome, pretty athletic, smart, kind but what’s important is that..” Jinsol stops and stares at you.

“..he’s like a little brother to me.” Jinsol ended her statement when your faces were mere centimeters and turned her focus to the movie.

You were visibly confused. Why would she emphasize her crush to be a ‘little brother’? You tried to wrap your head around it by watching the movie as well, occasionally stealing glances at her. But her words still lingered in your mind.

It was around 2 AM when the movie finally ended. You looked towards Jinsol and saw her fast asleep. Being the good brother and host you are, you delicately lifted her into your arms to bring her into your room so that she could sleep on your bed. The impure thoughts reared their ugly head into your mind as you did so.

After gently laying her down on your bed, you grabbed some pillows and blankets to sleep on the couch. You decided it was too risky to share the bed with Jinsol otherwise.

Just as you were about to close the lights and head to the living room, you felt a hand grab your arm. You looked back to see Jinsol who had a sleepy look plastered on her face pulling you back.

“Where are you going?” Jinsol asked with a quiet and raspy voice. Her exhausted voice sounded so seductive, almost causing you to choke on your own saliva.

“I’m s-sleeping on t-the couch. You know, t-to give you privacy…” You said, failing to not stutter that you had just managed to control.

“You’re not gonna feel comfortable sleeping on the couch. Just sleep here.” Jinsol said again.

“But-” You tried to resist but Jinsol pulled your hand even harder.

“F-Fine…” You said as you gave up and sat beside her on the bed. You were hesitant to do so, your king-sized bed feeling like it was too small for the both of you.

“Just lay down! I won’t eat you.” Jinsol teased.

You laid down slowly, feeling like you were going to melt and sink into the bed. Once you got comfortable, Jinsol pulled the blankets over the both of you.

“Goodnight, baby brother.” Jinsoul said, giving you a kiss on the forehead and then turned on her side, facing herself against you.

“G-Goodnight, n-noona..” You said, trying to stop your rapidly hardening erection below from waking up because of the perverted thoughts you were having.

After around twenty minutes, you still couldn’t sleep because of the close proximity between you and Jinsol. You looked to your side and saw her sleeping soundly. You couldn’t deny how pretty she looked while sleeping. After some time and your erection teasing you, you managed to fall asleep.

//timeskip//

It was now 6 AM.

Jinsol felt a weird sensation all over her body.

She was heating up from head to toe, but it was not due to a fever.

Her bottom was where most of the warm and weird sensations were coming from. She felt that something hard was touching her. She tried to move her hips around and suddenly moaned. She quickly stopped, afraid that her moans would wake you up.

She doesn’t know why, but the thing that was touching her clothed vagina felt good. She felt herself getting wet because of it as well. She wanted to get up and inspect what exactly was touching her. But then she thought about you, so she scrapped the plan and decided to just see what was going on.

She slowly opened her eyes. It was dark but she could still see a little bit. She looked at her back and to her surprise, you were hugging her tightly. Your face was close to her neck and your right hand was at her waist. Moreover, the thing that was poking her was coming from you.

Jinsol smiled.

The truth was, Jinsol also has feelings towards you. The person that she described earlier in the evening was you. She always loved how you were nervous around her. Sometimes, she would touch herself after she secretly caught you staring at her body. It was like this for two years until you and she went your separate ways to pursue your own careers.

And now she was here, visiting you with one goal in mind. To actually confess her feelings towards you. She was going to just confess normally. But now, she had an even better idea due to this newfound situation.

She slowly gets off the bed, removing your hand away from her waist. With her off the bed, your body laid flat just how Jinsol wanted. She gets on top of the bed again and crawls in between your legs towards your crotch. Throughout all of this, you were still sleeping heavily.

Now at your crotch, Jinsol licked her lips. She was finally getting ready to do the thing that she had been longing for. Thankfully for her, you were wearing baggy pants so Jinsol had no problem removing them and your underwear in one swift motion.

Your hard cock sprang out, almost hitting her in the face. Jinsol’s pussy was drenched at this point, seeing all the possibilities that she could do with your cock. She slowly strokes it, hoping that it would wake you up. But being the heavy sleeper you were meant Jinsol would have to try harder.

After stroking your cock for some time, Jinsol licked the tip that was already leaking with precum, making you moan a little in your sleep. Jinsol kept licking the drenched tip until she saw you moved slightly. Eventually, she got her wish as you woke up.

“Ugh….huh? Noona what are you-” Jinsol quickly put her finger on your lips.

“Shh, baby. I know you have been wanting this.” Jinsol said in a seductive tone.

Without any hesitation, Jinsol took your shaft into her mouth. You instantly moaned at the contact, pleasure washing over your body as Jinsol kept sucking your cock gently. You couldn’t believe that your step sister was so good at giving you head. She then stopped sucking and stroked you slowly. 

“You know, I have been eyeing you for quite some time, baby. You might not know this, but I have caught you staring at my body a bunch of times.” Jinsol said while teasing your sensitive tip, flicking her tongue against it. You felt like you were in ecstasy as she stroked your cock and teasing your tip.

 “Sorry, n-noona..I can’t- ughh…h-help it..you’re too hot- oh my god..” You tried to answer but failed as the pleasure overwhelmed your senses.

“Tell me, what do you like about my body?” Jinsol said, stroking your cock faster.

“E-everything….” Your cock was twitching at this point when Jinsol suddenly stopped, causing you to whine.

“Come on, baby. Be more specific or else I won’t let you cum.” Jinsol started to stroke your cock again at a delicately slow pace.

“Your t-thighs. I love how delicious they look.” You said. You were getting used to her strokes, causing you to throb in her hand.

“Mmm, more?” Jinsol began to stroke faster.

“Y-your ass. I just wanna spank it every time I see you w-wear shorts.”

“You gotta have to work for that, baby. More.” Jinsol strokes you at an even faster rhythm.

“Your abs. I really like how sexy your a-abs look when you wear crop tops.”

“Thank you, I worked really hard on them. Last one, baby. Don’t stop now, you’re almost there.” Jinsol was now stroking you at max speed.

“Y-your b-breasts. I could suck o-on them all d-day.”

“Good boy. Now, for your reward.” Jinsol took your shaft into her mouth, starting from the tip.

You immediately moaned. Jinsol starts bobbing her head on your cock, taking it inch by inch. She gripped your thighs while you ran your fingers through her blonde hair. Eventually you hold the back of her head with both hands, the two of you are deeply absorbed by the erotic act. You mentally counted the seconds that passed, wanting to see how long she would be able to hold you for. Jinsol shakes her round ass as you force her head deeper. You felt her throat make contact with the tip of your cock, causing you to let out a wordless scream of pleasure. After about twenty seconds, she releases your cock. Gasping for air and a generous amount of saliva dripping from your cock and her mouth, she giggles in satisfaction. Your brain was beginning to overload from the pleasure. 

Jinsol’s panties were drenched with her juices since she started. While she was sucking your cock, her hand slowly went inside her panties. You saw what was happening and took advantage of it.

“Noona..let me help you out.” Jinsol understood what you were trying to do and eased her mouth off your cock, causing you to whimper. She turned around so that her hips would be up against your face. You got to work by pulling her shorts and her panties off in one motion, mirroring what she did to you.

“Impatient aren’t we?” Jinsol said and returned to slobbering on your throbbing cock. Tossing her shorts and panties on the floor, her beautiful pink pussy was glistening with her juices, making you drool. You dive right in, licking her clit like it was your last meal. Jinsol moaned loudly on your cock, adding on another layer of pleasure. You grabbed her thick thighs to get a better grip while eating her out.

Both of you were a moaning mess. Jinsol was bobbing her head on your shaft while you were eating her pussy out. Jinsol started to fondle your warm balls, raising the volume levels of your moans. You weren’t one to be defeated so easily, starting to finger her drenched pussy with two of your fingers. She responds with an even louder moan than before, aroused by how you were giving her pussy your full attention.

Jinsol bobbed her head harder and faster on your cock, causing you to add another finger inside her vagina while licking her clit. You and Jinsol were sweating profusely, but it doesn’t stop the both of you from continuing to pleasure each other. Suddenly, Jinsol stops sucking you off and strokes your shaft hard.

“Baby, you’re so good at that. Don’t you fucking stop.” Her words made you move your fingers even faster into her. She replies in earnest by sucking your cock even harder.

Eventually, both of you can’t hold it any longer. 

“I-I’m gonna cum, baby! I’m gonna cum!” Jinsol said and continued her assault on your dick. 

“Me…too…” You replied back with a breathy voice. 

Jinsol came first, violently. She arches her back as the floodgates opened and you were rewarded handsomely with her sweet nectar. You tried to take it all in but she came so much that it was starting to leak out of your mouth and dripped onto your neck. Meanwhile, your cock twitches and explodes inside Jinsol’s mouth. She lowered her head and tried to take all your cum in but was unsuccessful because of the large volume of your load.

Both of you were struggling to breathe after your intense orgasms. Jinsol looks back at you and stares deeply into your warm brown eyes. She then removes her body off you and plops back on the bed. She kissed you on the lips. Each connection sent small jolts of electricity jolting through your body. The taste of her strawberry lipstick mixed with your cum was amazing. After making out for a period of time, both of you pulled back, leaving a trail of saliva.

“I taste pretty good.” You said.

“Yeah, I love how I taste too. Now, let’s-” You interrupted Jinsol by pinning her down, kissing her again, quickly grabbing her shirt and throwing it off the bed. Jinsol smirked and did the same, except that she ripped your shirt off you.

“You look good.” Jinsol complimented you, biting her lower lip as her eyes hungrily eyed your exposed body.

“You look even better without this.” You removed her black top to reveal her breasts that were being covered with a blue laced bra. Her breasts weren’t the biggest, but were enough for you to fully grab a handful. Your impatience took over your admiration of them and you pulled her bra off, exposing her plentiful breasts. Jinsol moaned over your actions as the cool nighttime air made contact with her exposed skin.

Now the both of you are finally naked together. You start off by kissing her cheeks, creating a trail as you make your way through her neck and eventually, her breasts. You immediately dive into her pink nipples which were already stiff. Jinsoul softly moans into your ear, enjoying what you were doing to her body. You sucked her left nipple, then moved to the right. The breast that wasn’t in your mouth was being fondled by your hand.

Jinsol was shivering with pleasure. She didn’t get relaxed, however. Instead, she reaches for your cock and starts stroking it. You moaned slightly because of her actions. After having fun with her soft flesh, you pepper her stomach with kisses and trace her abdomen by licking it with your tongue.

“Baby, do you love me?” Jinsol suddenly asked.

“Of course, noona. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” You answered with no hesitation.

“Then, prove your love by fucking me as hard as you can.” Jinsol’s dirty talk has made your cock throb even harder than before.

Fueled by Jinsol’s dirty talk just now, you turned her body around so her back was facing you and lifted her up so she was on her fours. Before lining your cock with her dripping pussy, you spanked her round ass several times.

“F-Fuck! Slap my ass again, baby.” Jinsol moaned.

You spanked her again and again, gaining a series of loud moans.

Your cock was now in between her dripping heat. It felt so warm, inviting. This was the moment that you have always been dreaming about and you don’t wanna lose this chance. You started by teasing the outside of her folds, collecting her nectar that was dripping. 

“Stop teasing me already, baby...” Jinsol moaned at the feeling of your hard cock nudging her entrance.

You grabbed her wide hips, aiming your cock and started to push into her slick folds. Both of you gasped and moaned. You never felt the feeling of a vagina before in your life and never knew how tight they could really be. You pushed into Jinsol even more, feeling her walls wrapping your shaft. Jinsol was lost in pleasure, leaning her head back and enjoying how you felt inside of her. Eventually, all of your cock went in. You savored the feeling of her plump ass against your crotch.

You slowly pull away from her pussy and stop before your tip comes out. You pushed into her again and repeated the process as the both of you were getting accustomed to it. You found a perfect rhythm and started to thrust into Jinsol. Her pussy walls felt warm with your dick embedded in her. Jinsol was a moaning mess, getting louder with each thrust.

“Fuck baby, you’re so big and hard.”

“You’re so fucking tight, noona.”

Slowly but steadily, you increased the pace of your thrusts. Jinsol’s erotic sounds were being an encouragement for you to keep yourself pumping into her. You love how cute she moaned for your cock and how gorgeous she looks being satisfied with your thrusts.

You fucked Jinsol even harder and harder. You wanted to kiss her, so you grabbed her shoulder and pulled her upright so that she’s leaning against your chest. You kissed her lips passionately. 

“Yes, fuck me harder. Turn me into your little slut, baby!” Jinsol’s words went right in your ear and of course, you followed what she said. Her walls were constricting your shaft even more. Your right hand reached towards her breasts, fondling it to give more pleasure to the woman that you love.

Her walls were becoming even tighter as you touched her breasts. Your pace didn’t slow down however, it was increasing like crazy, to the point where her ass is making clapping sounds with your crotch. Jinsoul was in euphoria, being a cute little mess. 

“Baby, h-harder please. I wanna cum all over your fucking cock.”

You put your left hand on her clit and rubbed it while thrusting even faster into her. Her moans have become music to your ears, giving you the strength to keep thrusting into her.

Jinsol then buried her face into the bed. Spreading her legs apart, you began thrusting inside her. You watched as Jinsol squeezed her tits, pinching her nipples as you fucked her hard. You made sure she could feel each thrust.

“Your cock feels so fucking good, I love it so much!” Jinsol moaned loudly, her walls squeezing the life out of your cock as you fucked her. 

Jinsol closed her eyes while she grabbed onto the sheets tightly, desperately hanging on while chasing her impending orgasm. You roughly fucked her as her body moved in time with your thrusts.

“Oh fuck!” She screamed as you held her body tightly in place, your hands making a deep impression on her hips.

“Baby, I’m cumming!”

Ultimately, she shrieks and came hard on your cock. Her walls tighten around you deliciously as you feel her juices flood your cock and begin to seep out, staining both of your thighs. You watched as Jinsol’s body trembled violently, her breathing becoming erratic as your thrusts gradually began to slow down in order to allow her to ride out her euphoric high. 

“Baby… that was amazing.” she said quietly, her mouth still open. You kept a tight hold on her as she struggled to catch her breath.

“I came so fucking hard...” She then looks back towards you.

“You haven’t cum yet, baby. I want your load deep inside of me, so come fuck me again.” Jinsol’s dirty talk reinvigorated you as you pulled out your cock from her and turned her around so that she was facing you. She was covered in sweat but still as beautiful as always. You were lost in her gaze for a couple of seconds.

“Noona, I love you.” You blurted out unexpectedly.

“I love you too, baby.”

You spread her legs to reveal her still dripping pussy. You put both of your hands beside her and lined up your cock with her vagina. Jinsol wrapped her arms around your neck, ready to receive your shaft.

“Ready?”

“Always.”

You pushed yourself into her slowly until your dick fully disappeared into her folds. Both of you moaned together at the euphoric feeling. You pull out from her pussy, leaving the tip and slamming her with a long thrust. She moans in pleasure of your cock being deep inside of her tight hole.

You started to fuck Jinsol in a slow pace. Words couldn’t describe how good the both of you felt fucking while facing each other. Her mouth was open, filling both of your ears with her lustful moans.

“Ahh, baby, I love how deep your dick is inside of me.” Jinsol moaned, her eyes rolling back because of the intense pleasure you were giving her.

“Your pussy feels amazing, noona. It’s so tight and warm.” You replied as you began to thrust faster into her. Jinsol was moaning even louder, following the rhythm of your thrusts. You lifted her feet up and placed them on your shoulders, allowing your cock to enter her even deeper.

Jinsol’s breasts were jiggling up and down and you couldn't help yourself from grabbing onto them while you fuck her. She was obviously aroused by this as you took her right nipple into your mouth. Your pace was getting even faster as the wet sounds of your crotches hitting each other could be heard.

Jinsol suddenly grabbed onto your back and scratched it with her nails. You moaned at her action and the erotic act caused you to pound her even harder. Her juices were splashing against both of your crotches, allowing you to slide in and out with ease. Her pussy was getting tighter and tighter as you pound into her. The only sounds that were being heard in your room were wet flesh and your bodies clapping together.

You thrusted into her as hard as you could. The room felt cold because of the rain outside, but you and Jinsol were drenched in sweat from the heat your bodies were producing. How Jinsol was moaning because of your dick, how warm and tight she was, how her breasts were jiggling up and down while you thrust into her, all of it was too much for you to handle.

“Harder…” she said, sweat dripping off her body and onto the bed sheets. Her eyes slowly began to droop lazily as she struggled to stay conscious.

“You’re so fucking deep, baby. Oh my god...” She cried out, surprising the both of you as she was still able to form coherent sentences. Eventually, that same sensation in her stomach came to her once more.

“Baby, I’m cumming again!” Jinsol screamed.

“Cum…I’m cumming too, noona!” Your words came out in between each breath.

“Yes, cum inside your noona baby!”

Jinsol’s loud screams and your harsh groans reverberated around the apartment as you fucked her until the pressure building inside you released. You suddenly felt a knot in your stomach, marking your inevitable end. You kissed Jinsol before you exploded all your load into her warm cavern, causing her to have another orgasm. You slowed down your pace and thrust deeper into her so your cum can reach deeper into her cunt. Both of your toes curled from the pleasure as your cock throbbed and released several weaker thrusts inside Jinsol. Her body was still shaking from the aftershocks when her body collapsed on top of yours, your cock still inside her.

After a minute of Jinsol milking everything out from your cock, you pulled out from her, watching how the mixture of your cum and her juices was leaking out from Jinsol’s delicious pussy. You laid down beside her, breathing heavily with your cock glistening in the nighttime light.

“Baby, that was amazing. You fucked me so well.”

“Yeah, it felt great…”

“Uhh, noona? Are you okay? I kinda smacked your ass hard just now.” You asked quickly after, a bit concerned after what you did to her.

“Ahh you’re so silly, baby. Of course I’m okay! I love it when you smack my ass.” Jinsol laughed after her statement. The room went quiet for a moment.

“Noona?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Do you really love me? Not just because I’m good at sex?”

“Baby, I have loved you since the beginning. Not because you have a big dick or you were so good at eating my pussy. It’s because I love your personality and how great of a guy you are. The other things are just a plus.” Jinsol said while staring at you. You were staring at the ceiling to avoid meeting her gaze out of embarrassment.

“…Thanks, noona.” You slowly looked at Jinsol and hugged her. Jinsol reciprocates the hug while smiling. After hugging, you looked into each other's eyes. You both then kissed passionately, not caring what the consequences that the both of you were going to face. After a tender makeout that somehow lasted thirty minutes, Jinsol speaks up.

“Now, let’s clean up, shall we?” You both got off the bed and Jinsol dragged you by the hand into the shower of your room. She turns the shower heads on before stepping into the bathtub and holding onto your hand for you to enter as well.

The warm water calms down your aching muscles from the act earlier, giving you a sense of relaxation. It then becomes scalding hot, making you remember how much Jinsol loved hot showers. Once both of you were fully wet, she grabbed the nearby loofah and poured some body wash onto it. A lightbulb was turned on in Jinsol’s head, and so she decided to put on an erotic show for you by lathering up her deceptively curvy body with the soapy loofah. Her hands went up to her breasts, groping them gently and teasing her nipples until she felt your cock becoming hard again in between her thighs due to the close proximity between you two.

“Baby, you just came two times and you’re already this hard again?” She teased, biting her lower lip.

“I can’t help myself when there’s a beautiful naked woman with me in the shower.” You replied, making Jinsol blush.

“Alright, let’s clean you up.” 

Jinsol took her time in washing you, making sure every inch of your skin is covered in the lavender scented body wash. As she traces the loofah, drawing her name on your chest and down to your stomach, she stops on your lower body. Holding your cock in her hands, she runs the loofah across it, creating a tingling sensation in your body. Jinsol smiled as she slowly began to stroke you while softly biting your nipples. You let out a moan because of the stimulation and slowly move backwards until your legs bump into the edge of the tub, making you sit down on the cold and slippery surface. Then, Jinsol straddles your lap and your hard cock pressed against her stomach as she gave you another passionate, lust-filled kiss.

You finally break the kiss when you both feel too lightheaded and need oxygen. Jinsol does her best to catch her breath, her pink lips slightly puffy and her cheeks flushed. She was the most beautiful woman in the world in your eyes and there was nothing that could change that.

“I thought we were gonna get clean-ahh…” You were cut off by Jinsol’s lips finding their way to the place where your lower jaw and neck meet, nibbling on the skin as she leaves hickeys behind, marking you as hers.

“But I want you so bad, baby.” She murmured just loud enough for you to hear, causing goosebumps to form on your body and your cock to throb against her stomach.

Wrapping her arms around your neck, Jinsol lowers her body as she guides your cock back inside her. The two of you moaned as she slowly lowered herself onto you until she had reached your base completely. Jinsol watched you close your eyes as her tight, velvety walls wrap themselves tightly around you once more. She began bouncing her body up and down, her ass jiggling each time. Her body unconsciously tightens her muscles around you, providing a feeling you couldn’t put into words.

“Noona…do that again.” You breathlessly said.

Jinsol clenched her vaginal muscles around your cock again, tightening you in a firm grip and earning herself your cries of pleasure.

Your hands rested on her cheeks once more, watching Jinsol bounce on your lap. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head when you accidentally discovered a certain sensitive spot within her. With each roll of your hips, you make sure to hit that pressure point.

“Fuck, that feels so fucking good.” She moaned when you took her erect nipples inside your mouth, gently biting on them and mirroring what she did to you.

“Yes baby…” She said as her stomach began to feel heavy, the knot inside her twisting. You continue pounding her newfound sensitive spot, feeling Jinsol’s sharp nails raking your back with scratches as her body trembles with an arriving orgasm.

“Baby!” She screamed repeatedly. You continued rocking Jinsol back and forth and side to side as a way to prolong the duration of her impending orgasm.

“Baby, please...” She begged, blowing hot air gently into your ear and encouraging you to keep going. 

Her eyes fully rolled back into her head as your hips crashed against hers. The water was no longer burning hot, but neither of you cared about the temperature change - only focusing on each other. Jinsol felt so comfortable on your lap and in your arms that her eyes began drooping.

“N-Noona, I’m cumming!” You said, the only semblance of a warning as you made a powerful thrust deep inside her pussy. Your cock throbs as her tight, velvety walls clamped onto your dick. You began pouring hot, thick semen inside Jinsol which once again causes her own orgasm to occur. Both of you are moaning loudly in satisfaction.

“Ahh fuck baby...” Jinsol moaned as it seemed like her body’s default reaction to her orgasms was for her eyes to roll to the back of her head. Her body wriggles in pleasure as she continues lacing together incoherent moans and explicit syllables that made no sense.

Slowly lifting up her hips, you watched as thick gobs of your semen and her juices slowly dripped out of her freshly fucked pussy. You were surprised you were still able to release such a large amount of cum due to your two orgasms that you had earlier. When the two of you are finished, you both catch your breath as she leaned down and gave you tender, passionate kisses. Jinsol is fully satisfied, happy to be in your arms again. But this time, it had a different, a more special meaning. 

After spending two hours having sex in the shower that ended up being dirtier rather than getting clean, you and Jinsol quickly get dressed to go to Seoul to drop her off because she had planned to go shopping with your mom. She didn’t bring any clothes with her, so she borrowed some of yours. She wore one of your hoodies and a pair of shorts that complimented her figure nicely. When she came out from your room after dressing up, you instantly chuckled at how cute she looked wearing your clothes.

“You look so cute, noona!”

“Of course, your noona looks good in everything. Let’s go now, I don’t wanna be late.”

“Okay Jingolas-nim!” You said to her and opened the front door for her. She just glared cutely at you and went out the door. Meanwhile, you smiled, thinking how your life is complete with the newfound existence of an intimate relationship with your stepsister, Jung Jinsol.

[dooptown]

S2 Finale

for once i’m actually going to watch the episode again and get my thoughts down as i do cuz holy hell was this well done, i think

“Comet” playing first instead of the OP was brilliant. Also, as a note, the full music video of that came out, along with some killer animation inspired by the manga.

A detail i love about this music video is Ibuki spotting Free’s motorcycle light in the side mirror before he stops the car and, well, yeah

They actually show Louis reaching for his gun pretty early on into Ibuki’s monologue. I don’t think the manga showed that, but I could be wrong. He definitely has it pointed to him when it’s pitch black same at the anime, but the fact he reaches for it so early means he obviously knows what’s going on, even if he couldn’t pull the trigger.

predictably, the anime does the “darkness” as it always has, with the dark-blue background and bright lines for the characters. The Comet music video does this part of the scene better imo, but it’s not too much of an issue. Free’s whole bit is obviously rushed, and I think the anime suffers for that, but i understand that they couldn’t fit it in. We do miss him escorting Louis out of the BAM though, and also saying he’ll eat Louis if he comes back. That said, I don’t know how Louis gets back...I guess Free drives him back still but we just don’t see it

The Riz and Legosi fight has Riz getting the idea of eating Legosi in his head now that was seemingly missing before. In the manga he was thinking about how he’d become friends with Legosi by eating him, and that never came up in the anime until kinda now. Like I said before it’s an interesting part of Riz’s character so i’m glad it’s touched on a bit at least.

The moth scene is just as confusing here as it was in the manga...and without explanation or confirmation that it’s imaginary chimera (a part of the manga plot that was completely dropped), it just seems like...something. We don’t have Moth-san talking to Riz here or him questioning what he’s seeing so...it could be seen as purely metaphorical but it still remains a mystery (and just like in the manga it accomplishes nothing here cuz Riz just gets up and wails on Legosi) It looks fucking cool though! Word of Power: Respect for Life! It’s all one shot here, so we see every wound inflicted on Legosi, which is only a few slams. In the manga it’s implied he endured way more. That just follows the pattern of the anime, though, where violence is toned way the hell down. I’m not complaining, though. I don’t want to see Legosi hurt...

I knew what i was seeing when it was in motion, but damn does it look fucking good! Orange really is showing how to do CG right by properly stretching models for intense movements and actions! They’ve done this subtly before but here it’s very clear, but not distractedly so (unless you pause frame by frame) However, I still do think the models look a bit stiff when just...like...walking normally sometimes. Like we have this great fight animation but then Riz picks Legosi up and drags him a bit and he looks...off. Ah well

The whole bit about Legosi exposing his stomach doesn’t have the subtleties explained here...and really the anime leaves out a lot of character thinking but i think if they left it in it’d be a bit too hammy and crowded, so it’s fine that they cut it out. But still...tell me more pose isn’t as funny here :(

Legosi’s voice acting shines again here. He sounds really fucking hurt...

The moon cut and then them laying together is nice. Also i do like how there hasn’t been music up until this point at all. Riz talking about everything is nice too...I don’t remember him saying he feels like he could cry in the manga, due to him not remembering anything about Tem but his taste.

Legosi says: “I almost went through the same thing Riz did. If someone hadn’t snapped me out of it, my love for Haru might have made me eat her.” I recall he says something similar in the manga too...but like the only time he ever got close to eating her is when he didn’t know who she was. It really doesn’t seem like the same thing at all...it ties back into Legosi really seeming to have a really firm grasp on everything, all things considered, and he’s just selling himself short. I guess he could also be talking generally but really, he never had a moment where he wanted to eat her again after that first night. And the “someone” who snapped him out of it...Zoe???? Like, I’m just a bit puzzled on this part. I think what it really is is a reference to what he says to Louis later, how he’s the one that guided him and ensured that he is the way he is. Ensured that he did so well to begin with. Like, writing it out like that makes sense, but I guess I’m taking the words too literally.

Anyway, was typing my thoughts out there. I don’t think it’s entirely clear that Louis’s influence is what caused Legosi not to eat Haru after they started spending time together, but if Legosi says that’s what it was, that’s what it was. I felt that Louis’s guidance for Legosi was more about him accepting himself as a carnivore and using his abilities for what he believes in instead of thinking he can only do harm with them...not about controlling his meat eating instincts. I guess it kinda goes hand in hand. Anyway

The hand touch is, well, touching like it was in the manga, however Riz firmly regrasping Legosi’s hand to hoist him up and continue fighting and Legosi sounding surprised isn’t what i pictured. In the manga i saw it more as Riz slowly doing it and Legosi just being too weak to do anything about it. Riz has the advantage, so he can afford to make the action slow and deliberate

Ok here’s where things get interesting. Louis’s appearance is entirely different in the anime, whereas in the manga he appears behind Riz while Legosi is talking to him, with Legosi spotting him and using a distraction to escape with him. HERE!!! Louis actively stops Riz from attacking Legosi again, clearly out of breath as he ran all the way there, but he still has the mind to appear cool and collected and make a lil quip that pisses Riz off. And then when Riz charges him Louis is just walking calmly toward him like!

Like yeah, he does stop and react a bit, but he sees Legosi coming up to stop him so I suppose that’s why he stands his ground (honestly though was he gonna pull his gun? Did he have a plan? I feel like he just got there without one, which makes sense. He just had to stop what was happening no matter what)

And Legosi ragdolls Riz aside to protect Louis. Love wins

Pina scene is the same here. Although previously we didn’t get his thoughts about how he never wanted to get involved with carnivores ever again cuz of these two, but that ties into the whole “anime doesn’t say every single thought that’s in a character’s head like in the manga” thing. I think it’s interesting that they even bother showing him retrieving his phone from the trash bin, since he could have easily just got it from his pocket but it shows that Riz was smart enough to take it away from him (but not smart enough to destroy it or chuck it somewhere or hide it where Pina couldn’t see)

The next scene with Legosi and Louis up on the outcropping..Legosi mentions how this is his last New Year’s. He’s more convinced he’s gonna die than it seems in the manga (although depends on the subs i guess) The part where Riz is looking up while Legosi is talking about their fight to Louis...i never knew if he was supposed to be hearing that or not, here or in the manga. I guess it’s up to interpretation.

Legosi delivering this line in the manga: determined, stoic

Legosi delivering this line in the anime: clearly in love

we finally get one of these scenes for Louis! Season 1 had a few of these for Legosi and Haru when they had moments where they were deep in thought about the other. I thought that Louis’s would have been in his initial meetup with Legosi in the manga, but that scene got cut. It’s cool that they put his here, though! Also correct me if I’m wrong but I think this is the only shot like this in season 2

When Louis’s theme starts here when he’s acting strong, trying not to cry, I thought it’d slowly start to break down as he did and transition into a new track but it just kinda...keeps going. It sounds like a more somber, shaky version at the very least but I think the music at this part is a bit lacking...thankfully the animation and Louis’s voice acting more than make up for it

Boy, does Louis really cry. I’m glad they let him let loose like that but the bad thing about seeing it animated is...they don’t hug! I always wanted a hug here...one that Louis fully embraces unlike the earlier one on the balcony. It makes sense the Legosi doesn’t try to do anything and is taken aback, of course, but damn...and considering how Louis is treated later and at the end of the series...it stings a lot

Idk what to say about this scene...it’s done so well. Louis having his internal monologue, talking to Legosi...Legosi looking so damn guilty that he wants to go back and fight...the transition to the foot reveal...it’s all so good

A change here in the anime...Louis is a lot more steadfast. He offers his foot and is like, completely at peace with it. In the manga he’s still shaking and his expressions are like, more unsure, but here he seems a lot more convinced that it’s what he has to do

jeez

Legosi’s thoughts about how eating his leg feels almost ritualistic and it actually makes him desire and hunger for it is gone...which like, idk why it is. We just hear Legosi say that he wants to but we don’t feel it (we do see his lips pull back and reveal his teeth tho)

Enter: Buffgosi. This happens in the manga but since Legosi’s model is so much smaller in the anime it seems like a much more drastic difference.

intimate...

Legosi doesn’t apologize for not being able to stop growling, but it seems like they did a lot to remove any humor Paru put into these scenes. I guess it doesn’t work that well in one continuous scene vs. chapters broken up by weeks

Louis’s funny deadpool moment is changed with him just...telling Legosi to be a hero again. Guess he really likes that line. The way it’s delivered really feels like a video game, like Legosi is recovering from a hit and Louis pops in to heal him with some words

Seriously, Louis just keeps making this face...after an entire season of being super serious and stone faced he’s looking softer

the Riz and Tem story isn’t changed at all, and can still be read as either romantic or platonic. Seeing it in motion makes it hit harder though, for sure

Legosi still wishes Riz a happy new year here. He seems a lot happier here than in the manga. Also Louis doesn’t berate him for it, instead opting to speak up and talk to Riz here after hearing about his heartbreak. He does it without the pressure of the cops being there, and it truly shows that he really does like carnivores and sympathizes with their struggles now.

Yeah, so the cop scene is gone, which kinda condenses and cuts out a lot (including Pina’s small appearance) but I kinda like it better. It allows all the characters to breathe. Legosi thanks Louis naturally for the meal, and Louis telling Legosi to wipe his face is done in a friendly, joking manner...it just all feels a lot softer and friendlier without the cops being there making it all fucked. Just like in real life

THERE IT IS THERE IT FUCKING IS THEY EVEN GAVE LOUIS HIS LIL SMIRK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

god i keep tearing up around these parts IT’S BEEN ALMOST 2 HOURS SINCE I STARTED MAKING THIS POST GOOD FUCKING LORD

I kinda thought they might put the aftermath in a sort of credits scene, and i think it works, even if it does pave over some important stuff

god it’s just so validating to see Legosi care for Louis and Haru equally. Like we all know it’s the case but they’re both dear to him

Now this is a far departure from his thoughts in the manga. I suppose it only fits with the ending of the season to make it more optimistic, but we skip the while “you can’t marry an herbivore cuz of your record” thing...but here he still cherishes it in a way. Very interesting. Wonder if they’ll backpedal on it in season 3

Legosi actually tells Haru he’s dropping out here too! He still does in the manga but it seems more abrupt there, like he already did drop out and then goes to tell her instead of telling her before he does. He’s also not suffering through his meat withdrawal here like he was in the manga at this scene (or at least the manga’s counterpart at Haru’s house)

The ending convo mirrors what Haru says to him in that scene too. It’s a funny way to leave off on the season without a stinger or anything. It just kinda makes the audience question their relationship (and now that Lougosi is pumping through everyone’s veins...hehehhehehe)

uh, well, anyway, i kinda wasted all of my time off after work writing this so...i hope you enjoyed it? Not gonna get one of these for a while...i know at least some of you like them

Also...what the hell was the extra “broadcast only” scene??????

Well, anyway, I hope you all have a good day, night, whatever, wherever you are. And remember: Legosi and Louis are in love

[glamrockmonarch]

The Land That Our Grandchildren Knew (B!Reader x Brian May)

THIS WORK IS PART OF THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE

Requested: NO

Type: SFW, FLUFF ?, ANGST.

Summary: A little glance at life back to normal after Brian and B!Reader get over the cheating scandal.

Warnings: None.

A/N: So this came out of nowhere in my mind. I have struggled with being creative for a while and I just do not know why(?) but here we are! I hope someone out there enjoys reading this one.

*For anyone who does not remember (lol it has been a while): B!Reader (often B!R) is "Brian!Reader", and R!Reader (or R!R) is "Roger!Reader".

“The one thing he did not know was how much I loved him. In a previous life, in a time when things were so much more complicated. When war was splitting us apart and leaving us breathless. Motionless in a world of aggressive turmoil. There was little we could do when everything was amiss. All around us things were blowing up, giving in upon themselves the buildings fell, and the cities died along with their lights and spectacles.

“The love I grew and nurtured for him was the last reminding power of the old Earth, scattered through the cosmos like dust as I searched for him in a ridiculous journey. I did not meet a king in a tiny planet, and I never saw a rose grow on the dry lands of the foreign space countries. We had each other but time made it so that I was here today while he was here yesterday. Today was never ours, today was a promise we believed and ate up and followed with blind eyes until the moment when the sound of truth, deafening and cruel, locked us out of each other’s life. And still, forever, my love for him is true and enduring. Out there, I know he will feel my presence in the air, see me in the clouds, savour me in the smell of rain and grass. He will miss me when the night is cold, and the sound of wind reminds him of my voice… Yes, he will be empty when he hears the silence, the way I will always feel too when I look back at Earth and regret every second spent away from the one who called me Venus.”

The crowd claps and smiles and I see the people in the front look at the books in their hands with expressions of confusion and deep thought. A good reason to write something is to make people wonder, so for B!Reader this one was a success. She had taken so long to finish the manuscript, not that she was being lazy; with the scandal of Brian cheating and the twins taking sides, it was hard to focus on this. This book was not what she intended on writing when she began doing research for it. It started with the Irish War of Independence, she went around Britain meeting historians with much better understanding and knowledge on the topic. It soon turned upside down when the news appeared on every single form of media… Brian’s stunt. She would call it what it was now; he had cheated.

It was hard to get over it. B!Reader took time off with her mother in Scotland, she had taken the kids with her, much to Brian’s displeasure, but he was in no position to complain. When she came back home, she was still defeated by the details. Brian’s lame explanation sounded more like an excuse but even she had to admit that her husband did not have the best track record when it came to women. She was probably the one he had been the most loyal to at that point – even when he had cheated on her once.

So, she tried. They sought professional help. A therapist. First couple’s therapy, and then one-on-one sessions alone. She hated every second of it, which could not have been fun to hear for their therapist. Nothing seemed to be helping, in fact B!Reader talked to a lawyer in secret… but her career was also on the line at that point, and she was desperate for ideas, desperate to reconnect with the only man she ever truly and completely loved. Her manager had the idea, “read some of Brian’s stuff, maybe ask him about his PhD work, maybe he will inspire you and if he doesn’t at least you will have spoken to each other… it’s worth a try”. And so B!R did that, although not in the way her manager had meant. She was stirring her on the direction of reading some of his lyrics not his space dust thesis… Nevertheless, the story began there.

B!R could not understand much, and she wound up spending a lot of time talking about physics and space with her husband. Brian was a patient teacher, she already knew that, but it was now being confirmed to her. He was also happy to be able to go on and on for hours, the topics where his cup of tea, and they had numerous cups of tea too while B!R took notes and began toying with a historical fantasy mix for her next book.

Today she was reading from her favourite chapter in the book. It had been a massive hit; one she could not quite understand. If she was being honest, the book was more like therapy for her than her actual therapy sessions had been. She cried while writing it and poured a lot of emotion into it, which she rarely did. Her writing had always been more …impersonal, presented almost as a sort of biography of fictional characters rather than real moving parts of the imaginary world they were living in.

She had never written such an odd story before, with time skips and a weird space journey concepts implanted in the middle of 1920 Ireland.

“You did great, mum.” A proud Fred wrapped his arm around her middle.

Even though the teen boy was still that, a teenager, he managed to already stand a couple centimetres taller than his own mother.

“Thank you love, did you get anything of that?” She wondered, wrapping her arm around him in the familiar way a mother does.

Arm around his shoulder, soft play of the tender fingers on the dark curls on the back of the head of her “little boy”.

“Nothing at all,” he smiled and shrugged, honesty dripping in shameless glee from his tone. “But that’s the cool part, I don’t think anyone gets it.” The younger of the twins looked at his mother up and down in her bright blue dress. “Except Dad. Was that the point?”

B!Reader looked at her son and inhaled a deep long breath, which she held for a moment. Her brows furrowed and her mouth moved like that of a fish.

“Maybe.” She conceded.

“Hey mum, would you sign my book?” Harry interrupted, bringing along Jazz and a peculiarly uninterested Max.

Harry gave his mother a wide smile and put a copy of her own book in her hands.

“For Harry, please.”

“Dork,” Max rolled his eyes.

He was the only one to admit he had not finished the book yet the previous weekend when Fred mentioned his mother was doing a reading at a local bookstore while they sat by the Taylor’s pool. And he rushed to get through it. Max was not dumb, and he managed to grasp some of the concepts in the complicated plot, although he did not let on to any of his friends.

“Loved the wormhole bits Mrs May.” Max said once Harry had his signed copy reading for Harry with Love. “That dark hole and the speed of dark and light near the end were mind-blowing. I never thought of you as a fantasy writer!”

B!Reader nodded and blushed at the compliments. Max was a lot like Roger in that he did know how to make a girl blush with what appeared to be little effort.

“I am glad you liked it,” she said, a trace of pride in her voice.

“I really wish Darragh and Conor had ended up together,” Jazz voiced from around Harry’s tall lean and awkward teen figure. “They were obviously meant for each other.”

Fred had been in tears when he read the ending of the book. Of course, he would have hoped for his mother’s first queer paring to end together but what that did was echoing life.

“You have to be the eighth person who’s said that to me today.”

R!Reader, Roger and Brian were in a conversation of their own next to the long table B!Reader was about to sit before to meet some fans and sign as many copies of her book as time allowed.

She eyed the silver hair on her husband’s hair, she had been discreet when describing Darragh in her book. A tall, talented, middle-aged, idealist Irish man. A man born in a difficult time. A man who fell in love by mistake, with Conor. A young man described often as immature, who enjoyed a quiet life on board of a spaceship when he got caught up in a black hole and wound up going back hundreds of years and miles into the past. Conor had almost been killed in his attempts of helping his beloved Darragh in fighting what he considered to be hiswar. The battles gave their relationship meaning, although it was never spoken about between them. The adoration was always palpable and present to the last page. Down to the moment when Conor acknowledges that his lover cannot come with him once he finds the way back into his ship, and then it turns into a matter of will. Darragh is revealed to have a similar story, only that… he was left stranded in 1905 with no way back to his ship. “The voice of Venus” was really a metaphor for B!Reader. A complicated one, as her feelings were when she had to love the man who broke her heart. She felt lost the way Conor felt, but she could tell Brian had been lost for a while before the entire ordeal – defeated in the same manner as Darragh. And it was fitting, he was older, he was educated. He should have known better than to play in the physics lab with those dangerous materials. Brian should have known better than to play with that old woman. Conor could have turned his back on Darragh, he knew he was of no help now that he was so invested in the past – now their present. He knew Darragh and himself would never be able to be together if he stayed and they would most likely get killed if they marched on. So B!Reader made them split. She was about to leave Brian when she started writing her book, so it made sense. And when she realised, she did not want to end her marriage, she still wrote it that way because this was the ending she had seen coming for herself before – one she fortunately managed to evade, which still was the ending for many couples.

B!Reader watched the teens as they began discussing the book, Max and Jazz were defending the plot, Fred joined in and the three of them seemed to be getting passionate about proving Harry wrong. The eldest of the group was stubborn about his stance on Conor being right to leave Darragh.

His mother could not help but remember that same stubbornness from the first few weeks after the story broke. Harry had been the one to take it the hardest. When they packed for Scotland, she had to stop him from shattering his project guitar, the yellow guitar he and Brian had been working on for a while. “I don’t want it! I do not want anything from him! He is a liar!” He had yelled, with the side of his face still reddened from a slap he received from Brian. She still could not believe she managed to stay impartial at that moment after the mess that had happened in the kitchen when Harry insulted his father – earning a slap from him.

“It’s alright,” B!Reader placed her arm around the twins’ shoulders. “Conor had to go back anyway. He had a family in the spaceship.”

“What?” Jazz was the first one to open her mouth.

With a laugh, the young writer looked at the confused faces around her. “He could never stay…” She shrugged.

Harry’s expression flashed with a difficult emotion, which both Jazz and his mother noticed.

The short girl flipped her long blonde hair and checked the time on her phone, “no wonder I’m hungry! Who’s coming?” Her blue eyes searched around in an almost innocent manner.

“You got to be joking, we JUST ate.”

Max stepped back from his sister and Fred followed, “sorry, I told dad I’d get lunch with him.”

Blue eyes flipped onto Harry’s figure. B!Reader gave him a squeeze and let go, the sigh he let out being enough of an answer for Jazz to show a large smile, reaching out to grab his hand and pull her to her side. It almost seemed a pass of the baton.

The boy walked taller than Jazz and still, it looked like he was the smaller child. She was sure they had been doing a good job as parents, although that slipdid a number on Harry. The curly haired boy pulled the glass door open and let Jazz go first, only to have her childishly cling on to his arm once they were outside, a smile breaking his serious expression when his young friend told him something – they were too far for B!Reader to make out what Jazz said.

“Where are those two going?” Brian walked up to her.

He had a cardboard cup of coffee in his hand, which he offered to her. With a mumble she took it and had a testing sip – it was too bitter, but it would do. “Nando’s. Probably.” She gave her husband a soft smile.

Brian nodded in silence, a reflective look on his face.

“He needs some time, Bri.” She guessed what he was thinking about.

“It’s been a year,” he said with caution.

“He is getting over it, love.” She took a step closer to Brian and whispered, “he’s picked up the guitar again.” They shared a look before someone called for B!Reader and she left her husband with a peck on the cheek.

[mlm-writer]

More (John Kennex x FtM!Reader)

Kinktober Day 29: Multiple Orgasm

Pairing: John Kennex x FtM Reader Rating: Explicit Words: 2638 Summary: There is no plot. You and John just like to bang. Note: Reader has a vagina and is quite comfortable with it. Chest is not even mentioned here, so decide for yourself what you got going on there. Tags: multiple squirt, little bit of cumplay, creampie, facefucking, deepthroat, fucked against a window, doggystyle, riding, praise, actually really sweet, HYDRATE YOURSELF, little bit of aftercare, little bit emotional, little bit of banter, and overall just very loving rough sex 

“Sunshine, leg is full!” You laughed as you heard your boyfriend announce the big news. The apartment was fully lit with the Sunday late-afternoon sun. It was a beautiful day out, but that just made you two wanna stay in more. You turned the TV off and hopped off the couch, your hair still damp from the shower earlier. 

“Well let’s see how long that battery can last,” you joked as you rushed over to him and basically jumped on him. John caught you mid-air and held you close. Even though he would never admit it, you knew he was low-key afraid of dropping you. 

John kissed you slow and deep. You had all the time in the world and he showed it. You felt vibrations against your lips as he hummed approvingly. “I like the sound of that, baby,” he muttered against your lips as he carried you to the bed. John sat down with you in his lap. You moved your hips against him as you urged him to get that glorious tongue involved. John never disappointed you and he clearly was not going to start now. His dominant streak showed as his hands grabbed your ass and pulled you close, his tongue invading your mouth. You moaned against his mouth, loving this side of him. John dug his fingers into your soft ass. He was definitely an ass guy to the point that it doesn’t even matter how much ass you got. Any ass was good, but yours was perfect to him. 

You whined when he pulled away. Your hands slid down his body as he lied down on the bed. You pouted at him playfully, making him smile at you with heart eyes. His thumbs sneaked under the elastic band of your boxers. “How about we take these off and you come sit on my face.” You nodded eagerly and raised your hips. He helped you take your boxers off and threw them across the room. 

You laughed as you scooched closer to his face. “You better go look for that when we are done.”

He curled his arms around your thighs and pulled you in the right place. “I hope when we are done, neither of us have energy to do anything.” You chuckled and raised your hips a little more to avoid crushing him, but he pulled you back down. “Don’t worry, baby, I can just push you up if I need air.” You relaxed and nodded. John started slow, licking over your lips with his tongue. He wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking on it like a cock. You put your hands in his hair, massaging his scalp as he brought you pleasure with his tongue. He hummed and moved his head around, making out with your cunt. He loved eating you out and always made it abundantly clear. It was half the pleasure to just know you were not the only one feeling pleasure from this. You couldn't stop yourself from grinding on his face, biting your lip and moaning as you got closer. 

His fingers dug into your ass as he held you still, his lips and tongue working your clit until you shook on top of him. “Holy shit,” you shuddered as the aftershocks ran over your body. You moved off him and sat down next to him. You watched how John sat up, wiped his mouth with the back of his arm and then licked your juices off. “Not sharing huh?” You teased, before climbing back into his lap and kissing him. It wasn’t like you were that eager to taste yourself on his tongue, but he looked irresistible. With grabby hands, you took the hem of his shirt in your hands and pulled it off him. You threw it in a heap next to you, before continuing to kiss him like his tongue held the key to eternal youth. Your hands ran up his bare chest, feeling him up. “How are you this sexy?” 

John smiled at you and cupped your cheek with one hand. “It’s your sexy rubbing off on me.” You giggled and dropped one hand to push his boxers down enough for you to release his hard length between you. You hummed when you felt a little wetness at the tip of his cock and spread it around his head with your thumb. You did not need to say anything as you moved back. He rid himself of his boxers and spread his legs for you. You lied on your stomach between them. The first taste of him forced you to close your eyes and just enjoy it. The texture of his hard cock against your tongue was perfect. You were so wet from your own juices and his saliva and soon you would be leaking a pool underneath you. There was no going slow, you sucked and bobbed your head on the top half of his cock for a while, before going down completely on him. His entire length fit perfectly inside you. It was fun to struggle to take him fully, but now you could deep fuck him with your wet mouth and that was just a little more fun. John cursed above you, fingers tangling into your hair and he held you in place as he used your mouth, thrusting his cock into your mouth. 

You moaned as you let him completely own you. When he was done thrusting, a second hand joined on your head and he guided your head over his cock like a fleshlight. You didn’t realise you were not getting any air until you felt a little light in your head. You tapped against his thigh and he let go of you. You coughed and wiped the tears off your face. “You good?”

You looked at John and nodded.”Yes, just needed a moment,” you replied while catching your breath. When you could go again, you took his cock back into your mouth. John let you have control this time, hands clenching the sheets as you altered between sucking the top of his cock and going down on him until his length was completely down your throat. John was close, evident by the groans coming from him. You thought you were going to swallow his load, but before he shot, he pushed you off him. You were about to ask him why, but he pushed you onto your back and rubbed his cock against your clit. You gasped, eyes locking with his. It took only a few seconds for him to spill his cum over your hole. His groans got you making your walls wetter for him. When he squeezed the last drop onto you, he rubbed your clit with it.

A finger slid between your folds and he smirked at you. “Oh you didn’t need any more lube.” He slid a finger inside your dripping cunt, curling it to rub at your walls. “You’re soaked already, baby.” He pulled the finger out and scooped the cum off you with two fingers, before pushing them inside you. Your hands clenched and unclenched around nothing as he fucked you with two fingers, rubbing your walls in the right places. A whine came from your throat as he made you feel so good. A third finger joined and you moaned so loud it was echoing off the walls. “Jesus Christ…” John’s free hand wrapped around your thigh, keeping you in place as he rough fucked your hole with three fingers. “Cum for me again, handsome.” 

And with those encouraging words, you screamed, your body tensing up as you literally gushed. You heard John encouraging you, his fingers moving even faster as he drew out your orgasm. When the last shocks travelled through your body, you saw the mess you made of the sheets. Some of John’s arm and abdomen were glistening from where you squirted over him. You were usually not a big squirter, but John knew that once you started, he could completely dehydrate you if he wanted. “I need to fuck you,” your boyfriend breathed out. You laughed and agreed with him. John rid you of the shirt you had stolen from him and picked you up. 

You hissed when your back hit the cold glass of the window. “You turned one-way mode on, right?” You moaned as John entered you, his cock outshining his fingers by a lot. 

“Of course, but if it turns you on, you can pretend I did not.” He whispered the last words into your ear as he started fuck you against the window. You held onto him for dear life. There was no reason for him to go slow. You were open and wet, ready to take his cock for the rest of the night, but John was going slow anyway, knowing how sensitive you were after squirting. He kissed your neck with wet lips. While you wanted to be metaphorically pounded through the glass, this was so much better. You moaned as you wrapped your arms around him, feeling his body heat on you. "I still can't believe you're mine," he murmured against your skin. 

"You're one to talk," you replied without missing a beat. You pulled him away from your neck and pressed your foreheads together, eyes unable to escape one another. "You're perfect as you are, John, and I love you so much." He stopped moving and connected his lips with yours. You smiled against his lips, no words needed to know what he was trying to convey. You knew what those words meant to him and you meant them. John was healing and you wanted to help him with that in any way you could. 

"How am I supposed to be rough with you, when you are so sweet?" "Put me down and I'll make it easy for you." 

John smirked wickedly and put you down. His cock slipped out of you and the desire to be full again filled you immediately. You sauntered backwards to the bed, giving him a little eyebrow wiggle. John cocked an eyebrow at you as he crossed his arms. His tongue peaked from between his lips as you twirled around, put your hands on your back and bent over until your upper body was resting on the bed. “Oh yes, that makes it a whole lot easier,” you heard him groan from behind you. He put your legs further apart and stuck his cock back inside you. His pace was a lot quicker right off the bat. He cursed and complimented you, as he drilled your hole. Your eyes crossed, arousal spiking when his hand held your arms together behind your back. He groaned dirty words as he rapidly got you to the edge. Just before you toppled over, he pulled out. You were about to whine, but his fingers immediately replaced his cock. A high moan escaped you as you squirted over the foot of the bed and the floor. You sunk through your legs, but John caught you mid-air. “I’ll get you some water,” he whispered into your ear, before laying you down across the bed. You gave a weak nod, head still reeling and your grip on reality quite loose in the aftermath of a strong orgasm.

John returned shortly after with a glass of water. You sat up and took it from him, downing it to replenish and rehydrate. He chuckled as he waited to take the glass from you again. “Ok, let me ride you.” You moved aside and patted the bed from him to lie down. 

“I’ll never say no to that.” “Actually, you did a couple of times.” “Shut up.”

John put the glass away and lied down on his back. He barely got time to get comfortable, before you climbed on top of him. You gave him the perfect view of your ass, before bending forward and reaching behind you to slide his cock back in. John groaned as he watched his length disappear inside you. While you loved being able to look at him and kiss him, hearing him go completely berserk over seeing his cock disappear inside you and having your ass in view was so satisfying. You placed your hands on his legs, steadying yourself as you bounced on him. The room slowly filled with moans and the sound of skin slapping on skin. John made the hottest sounds that got you so close so fast. He felt it when you were near the edge and grabbed you by the hips. He lifted you off his cock and put his fingers back inside you. It only took a few pumps for you to scream as you squirted over the bed again, soaking it with your juices. Your boyfriend didn’t stop, fingering you until you were oversensitive to his touch. He pulled you backwards, letting you rest on his chest as you came down from your high. You felt his lips against your scalp, peppering you in little kisses. 

“One more?” You nodded tiredly. “Good, get on your knees.” Your energy spiked at those words and you were on your hands and knees in a flash. John got off the bed and pulled you to the edge by your hips. He pushed your upper body down, exposing your wet and used hole. He ran a finger over your soaked folds, making you squirm. You sighed in relief when he finally put his cock back inside you. You grabbed the sheets in your fists, clenching them as John roughly fucked you. He held you in place with one hand on your hip and the other between your shoulders. Your walls were sore, but you still wanted more. There was a need for more pleasure, more sensations, more John. 

Were it not for John’s tight grip, he surely would have fucked you across the mattress by now. You usually weren’t this loud, but it felt like every nerve was on fire. You weren’t sure if it was all too much or just too little. “I’m gonna cum,” you whined high in your throat. 

“So soon already?” “I’m sensitive now ok!”

John moved his hand off your back and wrapped his arm around you, his hand resting on your throat. He pulled you up until your back arched and your head rested against his chest. “Cum for me then, pretty boy, I’ll cum with you.” The growl in his voice revealed how close he was himself. You took a shaky breath, ceasing your efforts to hold on for longer. John thrusted shallowly, hardly pulling out, intending to breed you deep. The hand that was on your hip moved further and started touching your clit. You screamed as you came, a little squirt still coming out of you, but you were too spend to wet everything in sight again. John let out an animalistic growl, before he stilled inside you. He rolled his hips into you with each shot and you didn’t think he could still cum that much after his earlier orgasm. 

When he was spent, he let go of you and you lied face-down on the bed. You felt the bed dip beside you, heavy breathing joining yours. “Fuck that was good,” John sighed. A hand landed on your back and stroked it. Soon the texture of the bed was too rough for your sore clit and you rolled over, ending up half on top of John. He put his arm around you, rubbing your shoulder with his thumb. “What about we rest, then I clean this up and you go take a bath and order some food?” You hummed in reply, closing your eyes and snuggling closer to him. He tried to tell you not to fall asleep until he at least changed the sheets, but you were sleeping already. 

[16woodsequ]

The Alternative Timeline; A Journey

If you don't know, I have spent the last two years writing a 2012-alternate timeline AU Marvel fanfic. (You can find it here).

It has grown way past anything that I could have ever imagined. In celebration of completing the final chapter of the fourth part, I thought I would make a post detailing this journey for anyone interested, because when I started this in 2019, I definitely did not expect to end up writing an epic of over 500,000 words.

Spoilers under the cut.

First off, I think it is important to note that before I started the first fic in this series, Alternatively, I had published a total of two (2) fics in the mcu universe. My very first Marvel fic Lessons Learned was posted January 2019. My second Marvel fic Never Again was posted March 2019. (Both of which combined have a total word count of 5,716.) And then, on May 4th, 2019, I watched Avengers: Endgame, and lost my mind.

Upon watching Endgame, I was struck immediately by the time-travel scene to 2012. The fact that 2023!Steve told 2012!Steve that Bucky was alive...and that he said 'Hail Hydra' to the STRIKE team in the elevator...never mind the fact that Loki got away with the Tesseract...

There was just so much potential there. I wanted to build an AU where Steve and Tony could be friends, and I was pumped to explore the consequences of 2023!Steve's 'Hail Hydra'. I thought this universe had the potential to right a lot of wrongs, and I just had to try it.

So first I had to start planning. This was right after Endgame was released, so there weren't a lot of posts going around about the alternate timeline. I had to come up with most of my theories and ideas myself.

Also, there were hardly any Youtube videos of the specific scenes I needed from Endgame, and there was no online script yet, because the movie was still in theatres. So I had to resort to shaky illegally filmed videos from people in theatre to get the dialogue I needed from the 2012 time-travel scene. It was a struggle. XD

Writing Alternatively

One big hurdle I had to figure out was how Steve would go undercover in Hydra. I knew I wanted him to, because that would be super interesting, and would allow him to find Bucky and take down Hydra from the inside, but I had to figure out how he convinced Hydra of his loyalty in the first place.

The path I chose (Steve claiming he is disillusioned with the modern world etc.) may seem rather obvious to the outside observer, but it might amuse you to learn I played around with the idea of Steve trying to claim he was secretly partial to Hydra even during the war. I honestly did spend a few days contemplating Steve somehow trying to say he was on Hydra's side even while he was actively fighting them. It makes me laugh to think about it now.

Obviously I went with a more believable lie, and eventually figured out everything I wanted to have happen in the story. At this point, I had no plans to write more than a single story.

Because Endgame had just come out, and I was so excited about this idea, I wanted to write it and get it out as fast as possible. For some reason I was worried that someone else would write the idea before I did. It felt like such an intriguing concept that I thought for sure other people would do it too. As such, I had several WIPs that I put on the back burner while I focused all my attention on writing Alternatively. (These WIPs still haven't been published, my writing has improved immensely over the last two years, so I think I might have to re-write them XD).

One thing that helped me a lot writing this story is I already had a lot of headcanons about the inner lives of the characters, and I was desperate for somewhere to put them. I hadn't had a chance yet to really write about Steve's PTSD, so that became a major theme in the story that helped push it along.

Alternatively was the longest story I had ever written when I first got started. Before writing Alternatively, the longest (published) word count I had was 7,544. And, I had only published one (1) multi-chapter fic, that had three chapters, and 4,621 words.

Looking at that, I doubt anyone could have imagined what I was about to undertake. Not even myself. But I really really wanted to write the story, so I ran with it.

I decided that I was going to write all the chapters first, before I published it. This is what I had been doing with my WIPs anyway (and I'm glad I did, or those things wouldn't have been updated for like, two years). I will admit that once I got to chapter 10 of Alternatively I was really tempted to just start posting it, because I was so excited and really wanted to start sharing it.

I managed to restrain myself though. It took my four months to write all twenty chapters of Alternatively. It was a frustrating process at times, because I had an idea in my head of what I wanted, but I felt like my writing skills were not on par with that ideal. I wanted this fic to be good, and it was hard to get it to where I wanted it. This got easier over time though, because one thing a project like this does is give you writing practice.

At the time, I didn't even have my own laptop, so I was writing on school computers, or my family computer. (I got a laptop once I started The Alternate Handler though, this story is actually part of what pushed me to get a laptop in the first place.)

Finally, I finished the last chapter, and I edited it for the final time, and then, on August 29th, 2019, I published the first chapter.

I was amazed at the response I received. Before this I had only written twelve stories, most of them oneshots. I'm not saying my story went viral or anything, but I got a lot more feedback than I was used to. This was super awesome, and made me even more excited to share what I had written.

Even as I was posting Alternatively, I didn't really expect to write any more in this universe. Except...there was so much about Bucky in this story that the reader didn't get to see. I knew all about it because I had to know what was going on in his head while Steve did his thing, but the readers wouldn't know more than Steve knew.

And so, as I posted Alternatively, a very determined plot-bunny began to work away at my brain. I actually gave into it at one point and wrote a little bit of what would become The Alternate Handler, but I stopped after the first four chapters for a while.

Fun fact: The first four chapters I wrote are actually the first two chapters of The Alternate Handler. Each chapter was only about 2,000 words long, so when I started writing the story in earnest, I combined the first four chapters into two.

I don't remember what exactly was the trigger that made me really want to write Bucky's side of things, but around the time that I posted chapter 10 of Alternatively, I started getting the same insane urge that had pushed me to write Alternatively in the first place, and I decided to go for a sequel.

Writing The Alternate Handler

I started posting this story Jan 2020.

I was excited to write this story, because of how interesting Bucky's thoughts were, but part of me was a little nervous that people would not be interested in reading the same fic from another pov. I knew it would be interesting, but I wasn't sure if people would give it a shot.

I decided to go for it anyways. I was pretty amazed at myself because I had just written something that was 100,000 words long, and people seemed to be liking it. (Of course, I never could have imagined that The Alternate Handler would double that. I definitely expected it to be about 20 chapters long like the first one.)

I decided that I wanted to get as much of The Alternate Handler finished before I finished posted Alternatively as I could, so that I could started posting The Alternate Handler right away. I felt that the best way to keep a steady readership was to make sure they could follow the next story right away.

That meant that I had only about 10 weeks to write as many chapters as I could. For all my stories, I had an outline of basic plot points, so I could keep track of everything I wanted to have happen. It was helpful, but also did not anticipate the scope of what would happen.

I had a general idea of what would happen, and I had vague ideas of scenes I wanted, but none of it was nailed down. As I wrote it felt like I was walking forward a few steps to illuminate the path I needed, and then snagging the right plot points out of the air.

Bucky's mindset also took some work to figure out. How do you write from the pov of someone who barely remembers anything? Does he know how to use metaphors? Does he know what a microwave is? How dependent is he? The first few chapters where Bucky is deep in his Winter Soldier programming took a lot of thought.

One of the fun things about writing this story was that I got to dive deeper into my headcanons of exactly how Hydra brainwashed Bucky. Before this I had some vague scenes and ideas, but this story really forced me to come up with a coherent timeline for Bucky's experience under Hydra, which is pretty cool. Once I had that, I could decide how and when I would reveal the pieces throughout the story.

Anyway, I managed to write 12 chapters of The Alternate Handler before I finished posting Alternatively. (Which is super impressive.) And somehow I managed to keep ahead of my posting schedule for twenty-eight more chapters.

I honestly can't believe it sometimes. I actually wrote a 40 chapter fic, and posted once a week for forty weeks, with only a head-start of 12 chapters. (And at the same time, I was like, finishing university and working. So no, I don't know how I survived.)

Reader influences: Unlike Alternatively, where I had everything written ahead of time, this story was still being written as I was posting, so the readership did have some influence on what I put out, which you may find interesting.

Bucky's arm: When I first started writing, I didn't have a concrete plan to replace Bucky's metal arm with something better. That may be a shocker, but that arc starts happening way later on into the story (around chap 32). Because of how long and intricate the plot and story is, there is simply no way I could plan every detail when I first got started. I didn't start offcially planning to have an arc around his arm until a reader mentioned in a comment that they hoped it would happen. (And I was like, 'oh yeah, that should definitely happen...eventually.' And made a note to work it in when it became appropriate.) The comment happened pretty early on in the story, so it was easy for me to start laying down the foundation for that arc.

Bucky's arm part two: Another thing a reader had a direct influence is the blue star Bucky has on his new arm. Originally I wasn't planning to have a star at all. I was going to have Bucky decide he didn't want one. But then I had a reader request that I keep the star, and I decided that keeping it would not upset any character development. I had already set up blue as an important colour in the story, so I decided to change Bucky's decision and have him request a blue star. I like it. It is a clear symbol of this Bucky, versus any other Bucky.

Surprises

One thing that surprised me while writing and posting this story, is the readership prediction for Bucky's choice of whether or not to fight. I posted a chapter that focused on Bucky watching himself react to being drafted, and then remembering himself choosing to follow Steve, and then cliffhangered on him having to decide if he wanted to join the Avengers.

I asked something in the author's notes about 'what do you think he will do?', and a surprising amount of people (to me anyways) thought that he would chose to fight. I had always planned to have Bucky retire from fighting, so I was a little shocked. I thought with a whole chapter about Bucky learning he never really wanted to fight at all, that people would think he would want to take a break.

I think the consensus came from the desire to see Bucky and Steve fight together like old times. I think Bucky joining Steve on missions is a common indication of him overcoming his past and avenging/revenging on Hydra, so in the end I am not surprised that a lot of people might expect that to happen.

Because of that response I was a little nervous people wouldn't be happy with Bucky's choice, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Bucky's arc and choosing not to fight is really important, and I think everyone is happy with how it went.

It took ten months to post all of The Alternate Handler. As I was writing, I was not planning to write anymore. I was mostly focused on finishing the story, and didn't expect to write a third part...

But, my traitorous mind whispered, this universe could fix everything. We can make Civil War less painful. We can keep them from fighting. We can do it properly.

To be honest, it didn't take a lot of convincing for me to give in and start planning An Alternate Approach.

Writing An Alternate Approach

I started posting this story Oct. 2020.

I started planning this with a lot of time to spare. I still had most of The Alternate Handler to write and finish posting when I decided to go for this fic too.

Some challenges were that I wanted to show the Avengers going through the same things as the original Avengers, but doing it better. I had already gotten rid of the Winter Soldier problem, and Tony knew about his parents, so we didn't have to deal with any of that, but I still wanted to do the UN bombing and that drama, because T'Chaka's death is very important to T'Challa's and Wakanda's development, so I felt it still needed to happen.

Of course...I had nipped Ultron in the bud, meaning Sokovia wasn't destroyed, and Zemo had no reason to go after Bucky.

Thankfully, I came up with the idea of having Rumlow do it in time to foreshadow it a little in The Alternate Handler (the fact that they never find him, even though they know he is out there etc.)

Like last time, I wanted to post The Alternate Approach as soon as I finished The Alternate Handler. It was a bit of a crunch time for me, but I managed to get all eight chapters finished in time. I basically finished writing The Alternate Handler and immediately started writing An Alternate Approach. I finished The Alternate Handler August 1st, and finished the last chapter of The Alternate Approach September 10th.

Originally I was expecting An Alternate Approach to be a bit longer, but things happened quicker than I thought they would.

A challenge for this story is that most of it happens during a movie. There was a lot of original stuff happening and interesting inner thoughts, but I was restricted in what I could do because of the script I still had to refer to. Also because this story was only eight chapters long, I didn't have as much space to work through character development.

Reader influences: Like with Alternatively, I managed to finish the story before I posted it, but the readers did have a little influence on the content.

Mostly it had to do with their reaction to Everette Ross. I think a challenge with this story is there is Everette Ross, and there is Thaddeus Ross. Thaddeus Ross is much worse than Everette Ross, but I think the readers mixed the two up sometimes because they share the same last name.

To top it off, I wanted to show Everette Ross' character arc a little, because he obviously changes from Civil War to Black Panther. There wasn't a lot of space to show the glimpse of his character and how he could be better than he seems. The readership really hated him at times, so I did edit his lines and facial expressions a little to try to make it clear that he thinks differently than Thaddeus Ross.

Actually, in chapter five, Steve has a nightmare about Hydra trying to wipe Bucky and trapping Steve in the SSR capsule he got the serum in. Originally, I was going to have the main villain in the dream be Thaddeus Ross, to symbolise how Steve was uneasy around him, and how Ross thought of Bucky. But the readership was already literally out for Ross' blood, and suspected him to be Hydra (which was not canon in the story). They really wanted something bad to happen to Ross, but I knew that wouldn't happen, so I decided to change Ross to Rumlow in the dream. This helped foreshadow Rumlow's later involvement, and it also didn't give the reader any more reasons to hate or suspect Ross.

If I were to write this again, I think I would try to make it more clear which Ross it which, since I think the same last names really didn't help the situation.

Writing The Alternate End

I started posting this story Nov 2020.

For a long time, I never intended to write The Alternate End. I had The Alternate Approach all planned out, but I was adamant that this time, I was 100% not going to write any more.

This not because I didn't like the series. I loved it, and my readers loved it too. But at the time, I hadn't finished The Alternate Handler yet, and I hadn't even started The Alternate Approach.

The thought of trying to write an Endgame fic felt a little overwhelming. I was worried I would run out of momentum at some point, and I would leave my readers hanging. I had been writing and posting a chapter a week for over a year at that point, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep it up for as long as I needed.

While I was trying to dodge plot-bunnies, I tried to convince myself that an Endgame fic wouldn't be interesting. I figured it would be just the same as any other Endgame fix-it fic. I was truly convinced that the readers would be satisfied by me bringing them all the way to Civil War, and then just, ending it there.

It makes me laugh to think about it now. I really thought I could just be like "The End! I'm sure you can imagine the rest" XD.

And then I was at work one day, thinking about the next chapter of The Alternate Handler, and thinking of how much I still had to write, including The Alternate Approach...and thinking pointedly that I was not going to write an Endgame fic...and then my traitorous brain decided to speak up again.

I had exactly two (2) thoughts that were my downfall. First my brain was like: What if we wrote it from Tony's pov? We've never written it from Tony's pov before.

And plot-bunny-brain was like "ooooh". But I was like, "No! It will still be a normal Endgame fix-it fic. People can read other fix-it fics if they want to know what happens."

And then my brain was like, What about the fact that they know about the time-travellers? What if they decide to leave a message about Thanos when they time-travel?

It makes me laugh to think that the simple warning message that Tony gives his alternate-self is the spark that got this story going. Once I started writing it, that scene was not what I looked forward to the most. But at the time, knowing about the time-travellers, and leaving a message behind was something completely unique to my AU, and so that is what I needed to jumpstart my desire to write this story.

As soon as I had those two thoughts, I knew I was done for. I actually stopped dead at work and stared ahead in betrayal and amusement. I was like, 'I really am going to write this, aren't I? I haven't even finished The Alternate Handler, but I'm going to plan out two whole stories to write after this, aren't I?'

And I did. I finished The Alternate Handler in the summer. Because I was already planning to write two more parts, I was able to set up some of what I needed for those parts in The Alternate Handler. (Such as Clint's family and Scott's introduction.)

I started writing The Alternate Approach as quickly as I could. I knew I only had a short window before school started again, and I wanted to get to The Alternate End as soon as possible so that I could get ahead on that.

Once I started posting The Alternate Approach, I had about eight weeks to write as many chapters of The Alternate End as I could. In the end, I managed to write ten chapters ahead of time, and I somehow managed to keep that lead for the rest of the twenty or so chapters.

I was a bit nervous about this fic, because it followed the movies for a while. I tried to keep at least one original scene in each chapter, and I thought Tony's pov was interesting, but I knew I wanted the Snap to happen. I also knew we had to start at the beginning of Infinity War, because we needed those scenes to establish character development and such.

Writing Tony was also its own challenge. Tony had already had a lot of character development, but we didn't see his side of it. He was in a better place than mcu!Tony, but I still needed him to be able to improve. It was a tricky balance trying to show the results of the character development he'd been having for three stories, while also making room for more.

Another thing about writing Tony is he has a lot more relationship dynamics to work with. In Steve's stories, his relationship dynamics are mostly between Bucky and Tony, and in Bucky's story the dynamics are mostly between him and Steve, and then eventually him and Tony, with a few snapshots of the other Avengers and his sister.

Tony has dynamics with Steve and Bucky, Rhodey, Pepper, and Peter. Plus any other Avengers who happen to be there. And then, Nebula and his relationship became unexpectedly important. It was a challenge to balance the relationships. I wanted to show Steve and Tony, because we had been watching it grow for ages now, but I also wanted to establish his relationship with Pepper, something we had only barely caught a glimpse of before.

On a different note, one thing I cursed Endgame for all the time was the sheer number of characters it has. In scenes with the whole cast I could be juggling 15-20 characters! It was a lot!

It took a lot of work, but I managed to finish The Alternate End three chapters ahead of time. It was a relief to finish, and I was excited for the approaching time I could start posting the oneshots I had planned for this universe.

Writing Alternative Options

I started posting this story May 2021.

I'm not sure exactly when I first got the idea to write oneshots within this universe. I think I had some readers suggest oneshots of different character's povs, and at that point I didn't even try to resist the plot-bunnies. I was just like, "why not?"

I had one reader request an alternate scene to chapter 10 of Alternatively waaaay back at the beginning of this adventure. It intrigued me, so I wrote it and shared it with them privately. I also had a scene I had to take out chapter 35 of The Alternate Handler, so since I already had those two documents sitting on my computer, it was nice to come up with somewhere to share them with everyone.

Also, like Bucky's pov in The Alternate Handler, I had a lot of extra content in my head of other character's motivations and povs that don't get spotlighted in the other stories. It's all in my head anyways, I might as well share it somewhere.

I wrote the first eight or so oneshots of Alternative Options whenever I felt particularly inspired. I wrote the very first chapter back in February 2021, but I actually wrote the second chapter way back in August 2020 (same with the onshot A Change in Protocol.) I rearranged the first eight chapters into what I thought would flow best.

Writing the oneshots was sometimes a nice break from my main project. I think the oneshots are a nice way to end off too, because there is less pressure on them. The story is done now, I can write and post the oneshots whenever I feel like it, but readers will always have a complete story to go back to.

Unexpected Things

Everything about this series was unexpected (even if most of the plot was pretty scripted), but some things still amuse me. As I got deeper into this universe, I was surprised at the amount of people who were concerned I would kill characters or end things angstily.

I remember when I announced I would be writing a Civil War inspired fic, many people were concerned that Steve and Tony would fight like they did in the movie. It didn't even occur to me to reassure people that this wouldn't happen, because it seemed so impossible to me.

To me it was obvious that I had fixed so many things already in this universe. It seemed so straightforward to me that certain things simply could not happen. (Of course, it would always seem obvious to the author.)

I think people were a lot more nervous for my Civil War story than I intended them to be.

And then, when we got to Endgame, people surprised me by hoping I wouldn't do the Snap at all. It had not occurred to me that people would hope that. I felt the Snap needed to happen. If it didn't happen, then we couldn't see any of the other painful things be fixed.

Then, people surprised me again because they were very worried that I would kill Tony and Natasha. I had basically spent the last two years writing a 500,000 word mcu fix-it series. I wasn't about to kill Tony and Natasha at the end.

Still, I am very good at pulling on angsty heartstrings, so I can see why people were concerned.

(That is another thing I did not expect, the amount of people who told my I made them cry with my writing. It touches me every time it happens.)

Take Away

If you made it to the end of this long post, congratulations!

What will I take away from this amazing experience? Well, first off, not to be intimidated by long story ideas. I probably wouldn't have written this if I had conceived how long it would be. Lucky for us, I dived head-first into this, and just kept swimming.

Another thing that I think is important, is you don't have to be a super experienced writer to write big things. I had written nothing even close to this when I started. And my writing improved a lot during this journey.

I think looking at the finished product it is easy to think that I am just naturally an awesome author, but two years ago that wouldn't have been the case. Don't be intimidated by the finished products of authors. That is the culmination of hours of work, and it does not mean you can't do the same thing if you feel a similarly insistent plot-bunny.

Finally, I would like to thank all my readers! If you've been around since I first started posting, then that is 94 weeks (plus whatever Alternative Options turns out to be) of reading a chapter a week from me! That is amazing!

If you joined later along the ride, that is just as awesome! Thank you for plunging into such a long series!

If you have any questions or want to chat with me about plot choices I made, or my thoughts behind certain scenes—or anything really—feel free!

I hope you enjoyed! :D

Tl;dr:

I never planned to write any of the stories after Alternatively, until about halfway through posting the preceding stories. Plot bunnies are really insistent, and I had stuff planned in the background anyways, so I had to share it. By the time I was about halfway through The Alternate Handler I had accepted that I was going to write two more stories in the universe.

It was a lot of work, and I had never written anything anywhere close to this giant project. It was a lot of fun though, and I'm glad I did it.

[macgyvertape]

HZD liveblog

time to see how badly watching a friend play the first 10 hours and then the internet spoiling the whole GAIA/HADES and clone thing, actually ruined me for the emotional beats of the story

VERDICT: Not really ruined, the clone thing would have been fairly easy to guess early on and HADES’ origins didn’t have a lot of emotional weight

So much of what got me emotionally invested was the environmental storytelling of the old world and the audio/text logs. Like yeah Aloy’s arc and journey was good but the game would have been lesser without them

The “old world” being set in the not so distant future and dealing heavily with themes around nihilism vs hope with climate change and extinction, I found it really compelling with the robot plague being a fictional metaphor of real issues that are easy to get doomerist about

Gameplay wise

spent a fair amount of time adjusting the graphics, and yeah 2 min into controling Aloy i get what people were talking about with controls feeling jank. This is AFTER the patches, glad i waited. Also the agony of minute+ loading screens ocassionally which is why i finished this with so many notes

the notes were great when I took a break midway through playing this game so I could look back

dodging/evading felt really janky at times I don’t ever see myself doing the game on harder difficulties especially since the game is long enough without doing sections slow with stealth or having to take time to go gather resources

My playthrough is ending at around 60 hours, I don’t see myself doing a ng+ anytime soon, but I do hope the sequel eventually gets ported to the PC

Liveblog comments below the cut:

oh shit 3 audio logs in and it seems like the writing and sound design is gonna knock it out of the park. From happy birthday, to a new years party, to suicide by gun.

since i know the flashpoint personality choices don’t effect plot, yeah i chose throw a rock back at that kids head

Wow Erend is a smooth talker.

Its hard not to be really dismissive of all of Nora’s superstitious religiouness like “we will be forgiveness for the sins that brought such misery on the tribe”, due to my own experiences with Southern US religious conservatives

Especially after these past 2 years I just feel derisive of the Nora’s religious/cultural anti intellectualism but considering its very different circumstances when the game was made, I don’t think I really have the knowledge to deeply talk about how this game touches on stereotypes of native groups

I know this is a game, so there is a cost to rendering things, but how does the worldbuilding work? The Nora I don’t think can do a hunter-gather life style because they don’t leave the Mountain area, and it seems outside trade is extremely limited (if it exists) so do they farm and we don’t see it (except for berry picking in the beginning) Like the tumblr post where its like it takes 1 full feudal village to produce a knight, but I guess all the Braves double as food hunting too???? 

I know they went through a war recently but still no wonder having most of a hunting party + a large collection of the youth killed in a short amount of time would push the Nora near collapse.

The Forgotten quest, I did point out that Brom’s issues wouldn't disappear and he walked away. (the tribe continues to have members who are vocal about treating Aloy like shit, do you think 10 years of isolation would lead to them treating Brom any better?)  I'm really sideeying that the first side quest you get is a mentally ill poc man who is killed before and  the voices are driving him to kill again. Hmmmmmm, maybe i'm reading too much into things??? Idk…..

Easily did gold medal on the first hunter trials. Watching my friend play this on PS4 he really struggled here but i guess the difference is mouse+keyboard aiming

Nil’s pretty ripped, kinda hot… 

Playing on normal is pretty easy with combat so im fast tracking my skill points so i can summon a horse. I don’t have time to just run all over the map

Lol the “ring of metal” sports arena is a forbidden place, Varl’s nice 

Difficulty scaling in this game is bad. I’m at level the 20, and at lvl 18 i did cauldron Sigma that had a challenging boss fight (the dodge mechanics), and then I did Underequipped (just by running across it) that had some challenging enemy waves. Meanwhile I haven’t reached the Carja fort and I’m passing by a bandit camp that is lvl 9

Also i upgraded my outfit carrying capacity to 35. I currently have 6, SIX total outfits. This seems like overkill

Did the find the soldiers quest, fuck snapmaws

First thing i do on the other side of the carja fort is kill a lvl 27 stormbird as lvl 21

Wow the tallneck surrounded by the birds, actually difficult, reloaded several times. Adds just keep getting aggroed, until i waited to override a sawtooth and have it fight for me

My mount stopped and stood in the talknecks path and just got crushed, lmao

Whelp 12.5 hours in i finally reach meridian

Feel kinda sorry for Olin reading his journal

So the Carja have a whole religion too, that is easily interpreted to mean whatever they want. Namman seems to be the only reasonable religious official in this game so far

Did the rustwash tallneck right at level 23, just by riding past all the enemies and jumping on it

Did the last bandit camp pretty easy, now all base game map unlocked

Finally tracking Orin down, and i get the “Unknown Caller” and I immediately recognize Lance Reddick, I’ve listened to a lot of Zavala voicelines the voice is very recognizable

Didn’t want to play Aloy as someone who will kill for revenge in cold blood, not for someone like Olin. Chose the heart option to tell him to redeem himself. 

Time to fight another Stormbird since one attacked me when i fasttraveled to hunter quest, damn igniting the blaze cannisters does OP damage but also wow that bird wrecks my shit if i get close to it while grounded

I really like the robot strategic dismemberment. Shoot off their weapons, their plates, shoot the blaze cannisters to make them go boom. I’ll never play dead space but I enjoy this

Finally went to Rost’s grave, it was actually touching

Did another Cauldron, and in between just running around the map and wow i do a lot of combat -> gather -> upgrading loop. 

Im starting to consider the hunters lodge quests with their annoyingly precise quests, padding

Im fucking sure im not gonna do all the collectables edit: in the end i wound up doing the metal flowers without going too far out of the way and I wanted to get all the vantages. Didn’t finish the rest

Was wondering about farms with the Nora, here are farms right in Meridian’s walls!

Doing the Fatal Inheritance quest at lvl 30, I remember watching my friend play and him spending like an hour on this getting wrekt. Yeah I’m overleveled and my gear is purple

Looked up where to find the power cells: I don’t need that power cell shield weave armor, but i will grab the powercells as i go along i guess but not going back for any

Meeting up with Erend for main quest and i think its funny there recorded like 5 extra voicelines for if you take ur time looting and not talking to him

This feels very Witcher 3, use ur extra senses to play CSI, highlight some tracks then follow them to a fight. Like i know more games do it but 

Got the message “i advise you against visiting sunfal…” from not!zavala. But nothing seems to happen as i ride on by

Stealth through Maker’s End and killing the big machine was super easy. The enemies dont notice corpse and sniping with Shadow Sharpshot bow is EZ

Love how Aloy just yells “mysterious stranger did u see that” and is salty about no answer

Got the voice log where Ted Faro is like “use the back door” and the coder is like “you explicitly forbid any and all backdoors” and Faro is “well figure it out”

I don’t like Ted Faro already he’s every shitty management boss who has is the buisiness man on a tech dev project but  knows nothing of tech

Oh so they made the smart AI robots able to self replicate and able to eat biomass to better sell weapons. And the pivot to weapons after solving climate issues was Faro’s idea. Fuck Ted Faro, literally every hologram makes me dislike him more

Not!Zavala is Sylens, and actually a+ writing here with how Aloy’s priority questions are different and how hes salty her first question is his name

Chose the Heart response to Sylens dialogue and what a HOOT his “i don’t care” response was. Same VA as Zavala is somewhat influencing my enjoyment of the character but also this interpersonal conflict is fun

Rescued Olin’s family with him, i like this outcome vs rescuing his family and telling the wife I killed Olin out of revenge

Ok im doing the “A Daughter’s Vengence” quest and its too easy that combat is annoying instead of fun.

 I think i will just stop doing stealth because on Hard I’m too much of a glass cannon, and i don’t have time to stealth takedown 5 machines when i need to clear a site for parts

Doing the Banuk side quest and whats with the cords/wires interwoven in their body. I’m surprised that wouldn’t result in infection/toxic shock

Lots of voice logs in the Grave-Hold actually well written great worldbuilding. You hear a lot from Ames, then you hear from his wife where she says that the letters she get are AI written and don’t refer to all the awful events as the military is obviously losing, and civilians  know “the lights will go out”

Then i realize all the audio logs from Ames in that room say “edited” and have a lot of “...” gaps, meaning stuff was scrubbed 

Love how Aloy is like yeah Sylens i know the Earth isn’t flat (also I can’t tell if the continents look different to deliberately show tectonic drift or how sealevels rose)

Oh wow that Kopesh can demolish the catwalk instakilling me

Got a plus 51% handling time to slap that on my Sniper Bow

Ok so I get it now, thx to internet spoilers. The robots WON. Dr Sobek just had the US military kidnap scientists to build a vault system (reseeding life was the part i was spoiled on), and had the Military arm all the civilians and lie to this that the war would be winnable with a “superweapon” Zero Dawn. But no, everyone died

Ran across a thunder jaw while trying to hunt foxes. It would have been a rough fight if not for the armor arrows knocking off 2 heavy weapons and destroying the tail doing crits

Where is Nil, im doing a side quest to clean out bandits from a scrap site and I just remembered I haven’t seen that dude despite his promise to fight bandits with me

Okay Heap of Trouble quest heavy weapon segment was fun, also the quest giver Petra is cool af

Level 36 and i finally FINALLY get a fox skin for carry capacity increase. Holy shit that took too much farming

I wiped out the last bandit camp and got a “farewell” quest from Nil, googling shows he was supposed to help out with 2 other bandit camps but i guess the game is bugged and those quests didnt’ trigger. Glad I can watch it on youtube

Nil seems so sad I didn’t kill him. Of course i wouldn’t, he’s a weirdo but a fun weirdo and i bet he’ll show up for the final battle as a cameo. Thats how these big AAA games with “rpg elements” go. 

Bet people online are thirsty af for him (who am i to judge)

Wish we got a hide helmet option, I like the look of a lot of the lower tier of armor but not enough to buy extra versions for cosmetics

Bow life and tripwires here

I just acquired 4 mugs on my travels, turned them in and i just got a collection of resources. Not worth it IMO

WHELP my game crashed fighting Ravagers, this is the 2nd time the game has crashed in combat

Chose the compromise option with the hunter quest, like didn’t seem the good choice to fight the large group and kill them

I really like Talanah, her helmet chinstrap though looks uncomfortable

Wow Brin is kinda accurate with the machine blood predictions, but also like suffering from severe heavy metal poisoning atleast

Avad the king seems very open with Aloy, wow

Blameless Marad seems to be what's keeping the sun king going

I have the Warbow and Tearblaster, and for fucks sake gotta go find fish bones again

Just hit lvl 40 rescuing Ersa

I kinda hoped Ersa would live but that would be too much happy ending for this game

So serene is pretty self deprecating, the way he talks about always being drunk makes me think its borderline alcoholism if not flat out. 

Kinda surprised there isn’t more substance abuse in this world, but I guess its hard to get substances to abuse

Well except for machine blood guy

Right about here is where I gave up farming for resources and just lived with small carry capacity for new weapons and bought resources from merchants

The Carja have prison, and like a reform system, wow that takes resources especially in a very fragile society. Sucks that like Carja don’t allow women to be soldiers unless they can literally maim the opposition until they shut up

Back on main quest line: I really like the “i serve my own interest” type antagonists especially when they are competent and especially when the team up to help to against another antagonistic force

Really Aloy spends so much of the game alone, its good variety to see her interact with a person who also understands machines but they don’t get along. Motivation to help others with Aloy vs motivated for himself Sylens

Wow maybe Helis wouldn’t have become a fanatic if his wife and child hadn’t died in childbirth. Stereotypical angst BUT its one of those preventable deaths if medical knowledge had been preserved  (can’t believe i wrote this before the big Ted Faro crimes against humanity reveal)

Chase segment was GOOD

I like Vanasha

GLAD THE GAME TELLS ME I’M AT A POINT OF NO RETURN

I really liked the Uthid questline, though at the end even as lvl 43 i was spamming heals

Doing the other quest, Vanasha has a six pack she’s shredded

I like finding text entries that talk about how fucked the world was even before the killer machines, talking about mosquitoes going extinct during a period of time people just call the “Die off” with whole new pandemics. Really feelz too real rn

Its definitely at the top of the list for good worldbuilding writing, shame just so much of it is hard to find over the entire open world

Fuck the Spurflint trials, too much random chance and bullshit. Its not worth my time to do them

I really like how the Zero Dawn facility is laid out. All the notes talking about just the human resource problems from snatching people around the globe and telling them how little time is left until extinction. The logs talking about the different options people had, and you can find one of those small solitary confinement rooms

The tragedy of Operation Enduring Victory, all the lies that were told and the people sacrificed just to hold off the robots for a little bit longer to try to build Zero Dawn to bring humanity back after total extinction; like its good writing the way they build up to it

Herres: “please note I am sorry and i wish you well” good shit

Sylens with the big heroic moment! Promptly undercut by him being so dismissive of the first message Aloy saw with her focus, then an apology for being needlessly cruel before.  On that note, damn Sylens really has got a lot of intel this whole time

A lot of feelings about how so many messages in the game are left by people uncertain if someone will survive to see them but hoping none the less. 

Also the children raised by AI with obvious limitations forbidden from accessing the rest of the space, the area only takes a few minutes to get through but its great environmental storytelling. So roughly 700 years later they are the present day Nora

Sylens really expressed that horror, they could look down into space they couldn’t access and raised by AI who obviously had gaps until they were sent outside since there was no more food

All the feels: Rost’s tragic backstory, Aloy hugging Teersa 

LMAO ran across sidequest “death from the skies” i think that previous point of no return wasn’t as NO RETURN as I thought but I did notice where dialogue would have differed

Listening to peoples final messages as they’re sealed in GAIA with no return, then Elisabet’s sacrifice, its genuinely moving. You meet them not to long ago in the Zero Dawn facility but the logs serve to really flesh out the characters and flesh out that time was up, especially since some of the people met before chose suicide

FUCK TED FARRO, WHAT AN ASSHOLE LIKE HOLY SHIT I HATE THIS GUY, LIKE HES THE REAL VILLAIN HERE DONT THINK IVE HATED A VIDEO GAME DUDE MORE

Without Elisabet there to “manage” him he fucked the world over a second time, classic entitled rich white dude talking about the fucking “innocence of man” after he ordered the Faro war machines that he refused to understand the risk of no shut off

I don’t think I’ve been angry at a fiction man, I had to get up and go get myself a drink to take a moment

Like the horror of seeing their preserved corpses and the holograms overlaying it for that <min it’s very good at building up suspense because you KNOW something is wrong 

Like the way he STUTTERS on talking about women there, the way that all the deaths from basic preventable things that he doesn’t even care about like CLASSIC SILICON VALLEY FUCKBOY

NOT to mention not just the MURDER OF THE ALPHAS, but like all the deaths becuase the work wasn’t fully completed aside from Hades going rampant. 

That Sylens founded the eclipse isn’t a super surprise, he obviously regrets what his ignorance served more so than just assisting them one time

Its very funny to do the Dervall quest and see Avad in his grief make a pass at Aloy then apologise for it immediately in the next quest dialogue

I do appreciate all the people showing up for Aloy (it’s cute how many of them flirt)

Chose the heart option with Helis, i kinda do pity him but not enough to not kill him

Crying at the ending where Aloy visits Elisabeth grave and there’s the pan out with the triangle shape of the flowers like all the other flowers GAIA had created

That post game Sylens scene, maybe I ignored how he literally said he would use Hades again if it gained him knowledge cause I just liked the character so much. Feels like I just got Solas’d and he’ll be the big bad of the next game 

Doing DLC Dam quest, Gildrun really made it enjoyable hes just so enthusiastic. Wish i could have found a mirror to give him. Just people finding joy in music over and over

The DLC old world narrative seems to be Blevins is peak stereotype  asshole middle manager

Really appreciate how i can safe spot snipe all these towers

Remembered those 3 hunters as what they were willing to fight for

I enjoyed the main DLC story, told Cyan to be honest with the Banuk. The sibling relationship arc was well written as were the tie ins to the larger Zero Dawn plot

OF FUCKING COURSE Sylens was snooping in and chimes in at the end

Theres that vibe where “only you get that warning” like Sylens definitely treats Aloy as better than everyone else who lives in ignorance

I upgraded to bluegleam bows, I’m not going to bother to do so for all my armor

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat reviews-Episode 23-In which Honey Boy tries to take the place of Mr. Excess Gyaandaan

It's been a loong hiatus once more, and I'm sorry for that, but well, college came up, and I'm trying to juggle a lot of things all of a sudden. Anyway. To business. 

Tagging my usual tag list: @medhasree @ambitiousandcunning @hindumyththoughts @shaonharryandpannisim @hermioneaubreymiachase @chaanv @ratnas-musings @whydoyoucareaboutmyusername @hetheymiles @allegoriesinmediasres @folkwh0res @pratigyakrishnaki @adishaktis @justahappyreindeer. 

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Without further ado, review under the cut.

This episode begins with Honey Boy giving an impassioned speech to Mr. Paragon about why he should abdicate the throne. I’m skipping over that pseudo-philosophical part because it’s seriously giving me Mr. Gyaandaan vibes. Mr. Paragon says that he’s worried about Hastina and Honey Boy can live the life of an ascetic even as and when he’s King. Honey Boy demurs. He feels that in the lap of luxury, he’d forget his sin. He asks Mr. Perfection how he’d feel when he finds out that the King who he waited 25 years for is invariably undeserving of the honour? Perfection retorts that he knows Pandu’s capability. But Honey Boy isn’t convinced. He continues that they had deprived Drama Queen of the throne because he was ‘incomplete’ but Honey Boy himself hasn’t shown completeness of mind, that he is haunted by the Maharishi’s last moments. He begs Bhishm, hands joined, to let him go live in the forest and atone for his sins. Reminder- This stuff is an extension of canon fail #55, as Pandu sets out immediately to atone. Sad title BGM begins to play, as Honey Boy takes Bhishm’s blessings and leaves. The camera switches from a sad, withdrawn Bhishm to Mr. Ominous Music, who, typically, has dice in his hands. He says that bettering one’s deeds is very important for a human being as the camera pans to encompass a pacing Drama Queen in the field. Okay, now that he’s an amazing brother, I think he’s worried for his baby brother? He snaps at Poseur to shut up. Poseur says that he’d have done the same, had he been in Pandu’s place. Note that he keeps calling Drama Queen Maharaj and Pandu as Kumar/Prince Pandu. Drama Queen replies that he’d have given Poseur permission to go, but he can’t give his brother the same permission. (I’d made a GIF of this scene long ago) because he can't think of his beloved brother living in misery. Poseur cackles and starts sarcastically praising Drama Queen, writing poetic odes to his Incorruptible Pure Pureness that he still has love for his brother who was the reason for his humiliation and shame, who plotted against him, that he hardly has a thought for the future of his unborn children. "Bhraata Shakuni!" In enters Patnidharma, with a homily of how words should be used to calm and placate people, not to instigate them to anger. Poseur marvels that his baby sister has grown so wise that she is instructing him in what is right and what is wrong. Baby sister in question demurs. Since she is a doormat, how could she dare do something as weighty as instructing? No, she says, she was making a heartfelt plea to her brother to let her family be and not poison members of her family against each other. (I firmly hold to the opinion that it would have been FAR better had she just told him to sod off.) He responds that he is not poisoning anyone. He is just making the situation clear, since she has surrendered herself to Pativrata Dharma and is blindfolded. He asks if Drama Queen doesn't want her son on the throne after Pandu, also if Pandu would be so magnanimous that he would vacate the throne for Gandhari's son. No, concludes Poseur, because had Pandu been such, he would never have plotted for the throne against his elder brother. Now, says Poseur, fate has played her game and Pandu is exiled of his own accord, who are they to question destiny? He finishes with that, asking Drama Queen to make a decision himself, leaving with a pranipaat. Patnidharma, ofc, being the perfect doormat, asks her husband to talk to Pandu and get him out of his stubborn insistence to leave for exile. Drama Queen shushes her and says that she should let him understand the situation better. Camera pans out to the tune of dramatic BGM with our last vision of the scene being a stone-faced Drama Queen. Scene switches to a crying Smarmy, the camera then panning to focus on a somber Honey Boy and Melodrama at the sides. Smarmy asks her husband the reason why vanvaas is a necessity. After all, she says, the killing was by mistake. This is, as I said before, something that canon Pandu actually says, not Madri, aka an extension of canon fail #53, at least where the killing is deemed a mistake. Since Honey Boy is far saintlier than canon Pandu, he says that the mistake is precisely the reason they need to go into exile, that he should have spared a thought before acting on Madri's request to get the deerskin. Fine, replies Smarmy. The fault is mine, why do you need to take the blame and shoulder an exile? Ms. Melodrama steps in. No, Madri, she tries to mollify her sister wife, it is no fault to ask something of your husband. Since Smarmy is a biatch here, she takes offence. Whose fault is it then, she asks. The Maharaj's? Because he tried to fulfil her wish? She understands what Melodrama wants, she says. She swears that Maharaj will not listen to her wants and needs henceforth, only listening to Kunti's. Ms. Melodrama, ever the pacifist, responds that her intentions were not what Smarmy thinks they are. Honey Boy intercedes. He tells Madri to stop distributing blame and instead accept that a wrong has been done. She says that she has accepted the same, that the wrong has been done by them, why should their unborn children bear the punishment for the same? If the children are born in the forest, she says, then they will lose the right to the throne. Ms. Melodrama counsels restraint. Why build castles in the air for those who have not been born yet? She asks. Whatever their destiny is shall come to pass. Smarmy replies that she is a royal maiden who has been taught from girlhood that her children will one day rule a Kingdom, she has the right to worry about their future. Melodrama counters that in the Kuru family, it is not right to the throne but the eligibility of the heir to the throne that matters. (Is that so? I'm not so sure. Sure, the Yayati thing did happen, but…someone more experienced is welcome to comment here.) Smarmy doesn't back off. 'Would only your sons be eligible then, and not mine?' she asks. Before Melodrama can reply, Honey Boy, voice heavy, informs the both of them that they can never have children. Melodrama asks him to elucidate the meaning of what he says. There's a flashback to the curse the dying rishi gave him, after which Honey Boy says that the reason he decided to go on exile is the curse. Melodrama says that she and Smarmy shall both accompany him. He demurs. (I get him, really, I do. Dealing with so much Melodrama and Smarmy on a daily basis? No, thanks.) But again, this whole thing is extending a canon fail, since they never come back to Hastina, instead setting out on the exile immediately. Melodrama, who is the Lady of Cheesy Lines, responds that without her husband by her side, the palace is no more than the forest, and the forest with her husband will be the palace itself. Smarmy comes to the fore. She says that she doesn't understand why the decision is taken even now, but her place too, is by her side, especially if jiji (Melodrama) is going. She avows that she came to Hastina holding his hand, and she shall go wherever he does. Melodrama nods. The offence was done by all three of us, she says, and we shall atone for it together. She asks Honey Boy to make arrangements for the journey and Smarmy to prepare for the same. Scene changes to Satyavati as Paragon of Perfection meets her on the riverbank. She is hopeless, mumbling metaphors. He remarks that she is far too desolate. She replies that she has reason to be, then brings the metaphor of a boat with a hole in it, a hole similar to one that will develop in Hastina if Pandu abdicates, leaving Hastina weaker than ever before, because this time, the people would talk, they would lose hope. Perfection responds that they will not leave the throne empty, instead instilling Drama Queen as a caretaker King who would not be able to perform Rajasuya, but will be able to take care of Kingly duties. Satyavati wonders if he will listen. Scene switches to Poseur limping into Drama Queen's chambers. He laments that he has done a great wrong by telling Perfection that Drama Queen doesn't want a throne as charity. Drama Queen, who had been doing a handstand, flips up and replies that Poseur has indeed spoken the truth because he doesn't take other people's leftovers. Well, responds Poseur, then perhaps they should call for the King of Panchal to take the Royal responsibilities of  Hastina, for although he isn't of the Bharata lineage, at least he is a Chandravanshi. What nonsense, blasts Drama Queen, going on to say that he can have Shakuni's head cut off for such treason. Poseur responds that well, someone has to become King, and it can't be Gandhari's unborn children, since their father is refusing the same. Drama Queen replies that Pandu's sons can become King, and until then, Satyavati and Perfection can take care of things. Okay, no this is defo a canon fail. Canon fail #57, because no way in hell was Drama Queen ever okay with the P's having Hastina. Poseur informs Drama Queen of the curse. As he contemplates that, the herald announces Perfection's arrival. Drama Queen claps his hands, prompting serving women with his royal jewelry to arrive. Once he is in decent state, Perfection enters, being greeted with pranipaats. (Side note: Why the hell does Shakuni call Bhishm Pitamah here? Bhishm doesn't have grandsons yet…) He makes his announcement that for the good of Hastina, Drama Queen must take up the responsibility of the King Regent. Cue dramatic title music as the episode ends. Precap: "I need a son! Find a way to get a son. Otherwise I will have to seek a son from another woman, Gandhari!" snarls Drama Queen at a crying Patnidharma. Scene switches to Honey Boy. "You have such a boon, Kunti? Ask for a son who knows Dharma and will be the hope of Kururashtra. Yudhisthir." Cut to Yudigit being born.