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#(some of them are already solved even)
lady-raziel · 2 months
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hilarious that with each new day that passes a new bit of dirt from JD Vance's past gets discovered and plastered over the internet...it's almost as if this is why presidential campaigns have always announced their running mates well before the convention...so that if glaring issues with a candidate came to light quickly there would be time to replace them on the ticket before they were officially locked in...it's almost as if certain things in political campaigns were done for a reason, donald...because the very same critical failures had happened before...but no i'm sure you and your guys attempt to recreate a fantasy version of history while ignoring all the reasons that history was a disaster will work this time...because you are built different and the 10000th time trying fascism will work like a charm...
#us politics#politics tw#i view the MAGA movement like this:#the conservatives have been desperately trying to jam a square peg into a round hole for a very long time#and they keep trying because one of these times its GOT to work! a very long time ago they heard the hole was more squarelike#so if they just TRY hard enough it will work!#failing to understand that the hole has become weathered and changed over time and the solution they are trying#will never work (if it ever did)#and then donald trump comes along and looks at the square peg#lobs one of the corners off and proclaims 'this is a triangle! THIS will work! I am so smart!'#and everyone around him is like 'whoa! this guy gets it! he's a genius and understands the problem! he's our savior!'#ignoring the fact that the peg is not a fucking triangle. it's just a deformed square now#so its still not going to work. and even if it WAS a triangle it still wouldn't work because THE HOLE IS ROUND.#it's the same damn peg but it looks a little different so everyone thinks its a genius solution that is DEFINITELY going to work#so they're all excited! they're FINALLY going to prove those idiots trying different types of oval pegs wrong!#they were right all along and it just took donald trump to see it! thank goodness he came along!#but that's just it-- he WAS just COMING ALONG. he was just walking by and saw an opportunity. he never spent time trying to make pegs#all he did was saw a crowd and took a chance to break an already failing peg even further#but because the people were desperate and it was different enough it seemed revolutionary#and now some of the conservatives--who can still see that the 'triangle' peg isnt a triangle are starting to look around#and see that elsewhere there have been some who have forced a triangle into the center of the round hole#and these people think well what if we ACTUALLY tried a real triangle?#and it does not matter to them in the slightest that it will never be the true solution to filling the hole#they just want credit for solving the problem#and so they are going to back donald trump and when the time is right put a real triangle in his hand#while the people trying ovals are busy arguing over the right type of oval#and once the triangle has been jammed into that hole...well...#it is going to be really really hard to force out#anyway thats a long and complicated metaphor and i probably should have just put it in its own post aaaaaahgh#long story short dont be a fascist triangle alright
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okawarihappylife · 25 days
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i am once again thinking abt the lost potential that is hypmic.
#i literally just messaged my friend abt this but stick w me#when nemu gets hypnotized we see her wanting to join the pow which. makes perfect clear sense even without hypnosis#shes shown through out all of tdd as hating unecessary violence and samatokis outburts due to their upbringing#and a political movement that (pretends to) erradicate all violence would interest her like. im just connecting dots here#and she joins because shes hypnotized and blah blah blah. boring. ok but what if. and hear me out.#the hypmic didnt completely overwrite the person but just made them act on their deepest desires#like i thinm my case w nemu is already presented but hear me out for my second contender. sasara#a man that became a thug on a whim because this guy reminded him of his ex. ok cool. what if we went harder on that#sasaras shown to be analytical and extremely cynical already. what if we just ignored canon for a bit#and focused on making his relationships a bit more fucked up. especially involving samatoki#sasaras drawn to him because samatoki fills the void that rosho left him. hes just smth he needs at the moment#but w my wonderful vision what if he grew tired of this fake. what if he had enough. hes not rosho he will never be#hes served his purpouse. but now sasaras stuck. in the middle of ikebukuro bashing some guys head w a pipe#AND THATS WHEN THE MIC COMES IN BABYYYYYYYYYYYYY#this was also brought to you by the fact that i want to see samatoki suffer. i want to see him at his most pathetic#i want him to come to the realization his best friend left him because he no longer fit his ideal vision#i want ACTUAL FUCKING CONFLICT FOR ONCE THAT ISNT SOLVED BY 'hey man. rappings fun' PLEASE#i want these bitches fucked up and in torment#uhhhh didnt think abt kuko w this au at all. idk yall do what you want w him#hypmic#hi main tag :3#•txt#•hypmic#•idol nonsense
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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nozomijoestar · 8 months
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Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything
She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it
She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world
She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself
#tekken#Jin is born of two worlds Jun walks between two worlds Asuka is at the crossroads of two worlds#Jin is broken by it Jun traded part of her humanity to reconcile it and now Asuka has to accept it yet persist- she is always persisting#that's her strength that no matter what she's always still herself#'For being so very Y o u' as Lili told her bc she sees it#she's an interesting character BECAUSE she's not Jun and she's not Jin and she's not aligned with them entirely#stop waiting for her to be something she's not#also i think it's GOOD she doesn't know everything or everyone in her family bc that builds mystery and suspense#it gives everything a tension in the background for when the normalcy charade will be broken by the bigger family drama catching up w her#what's happening to the Mishimas should be something no one is dragged into yet the one family member who's the least connected#is going to run out of time at some point and get hit by that trauma anyway and she doesn't even Know it's coming for her eventually#isn't it fucked up. how everything catches up with you in the end#and you won't even understand it until it's too late ie. her involvement in T8 global war now#also a character that wants peace and order but actively pursues violence ensuring she will never truly have those things bc of her nature#AND she's already been traumatized by T5 Feng and T6 Jin that just makes her retreat to seeking comfort in detachment- in the familiar#which only prolongs her avoiding the world outside what she can control- and then Lili won't let her live in ignorance not to punish her#but bc she wants to help her bc the Mishimas have already put their claws in Lili- they won't catch Asuka off guard#what is it with people sanitizing the messiness and humanity characters represent in favor of 'If they just acted logically the way I want#then they'd solve the entire story 1 2 3 and we'll have everything wrapped up easy' THAT'S NOT A STORY THAT'S A MATH EQUATION#FEEL SOMETHING INSTEAD OF ALWAYS NEEDING TO SOUND SMART AND HAVE PERFECT ANSWERS YOU STUPID FUCKS#IN TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAVE A PERFECT SOLUTION YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT'S IN THE TEXT#AND ALSO ASUKA BEING VIOLENT BUT STILL CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND DOING GOOD DESPITE IT#and AsuLili is about two similar people who've been traumatized finding safety in each other once they put down the trauma responses#this is all in line with T8's tagline of Face Your Fate btw this is literally what was always coming finding you & you face it
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kirby-the-gorb · 2 years
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kaeyapilled · 1 year
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can i be honest. the way you guys reacted to traveler being mad at lyney and lynette for not telling them they were fatui is kinda silly
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Welcome to „The High Republic“, where everybody is traumatized :D
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I couldn’t put everyone on that chart, but we all can clearly see the average trauma
Also if someone has suggestions/ criticism, I’ll gladly take it :)
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mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"
#The First Funny Bitch as a phrase from the ''cain was the first funny bitch'' post that i will use with some flexibility. yaknow.#i love going like oh boy a coworker triumvirate. their funny little guy (other duo going ''i want him dead'')#though it's unfair to the savoys lmfao if he's at best sometimes a desk toy to them: they do at least keep calling him babygirl#and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him#so if nothing else we do appreciate adding a ton of flair to [afflicting the autistic coworker]#in turn i appreciate that mordecai and viktor's dynamic probably consisted of mutual ''i Do Not Care if my coworker seems weird''#but outside of that; was anyone at lackadaisy aggrieving mordecai with the style & variety that the savoys bring....perhaps not#an upgrade in that realm....and there seems to be Some mutual [i do not care if my coworker seems weird] there again too lol#even while they've all probably been working together like half a week & haven't all worn their getalong sweater long enough#and already mordecai is doing his [not just literally standing there] rogue lone mystery solving deal lmao. wild card that he is#lackadaisy#oh also speaking of [before mordecai went grr i Hate still working here; ripped off the fridge door; went & got a new Hated job]#it's pure bonus comic realm & particularly Elevated Silly Goofs genre at that; but#points for ivy having that Younger Sibling dynamic w/mordecai w/the implication she takes his forbidden condiments index seriously#and like; in general lol not even just a [it's serious when it comes to dealing with this weird guy] way. all the more powerful for that#wait i nearly forgot to mention the hot new otp: mordecai / j.j.#that's right [sad trombone] providing guy. i know enough. first funny bitch 4 first funny bitch.#[guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] 4 [guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass]#and ofc because it is funny in & of itself. & basically like Your New OC. so much room to maneuver that you cannot crash#also hmm like if your nickname for someone is Maybe ''annoying mf'' does it cancel out....eh#numbers flying around intense focus like everything points to ''hatchet would directly translate to hatchette not petit hache''#and if you mon petit hache it (read this w/such a meter that it all rhymes)#900 tons of restraint not going ''wow this is just like analyzing billions'' & by even saying i've managed to avoid as much; now i haven't
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thestarlightindex · 1 month
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oh god what do we call a world that simultaneously exists as two mirrored versions at once
#we figured out some confusion with sources#bc we'd get an introject that would say 'I'm [Guy A] from [World A]'#and then we would get Guy B who is actually just Guy A and also from World A but they're. separate people. with different memories#turns out there's two worlds that exist in the same place at the same time on top of and within each other#the thing that got this to click was the echoes because of course#bc in source: the echoes are fragments broken from a god's soul and the fragments got placed into bodies to grow and heal#until the fragments could reunite (which; fuck that we're not erasing ourselves for a father we never knew)#and the Percy fragment was placed into Maxwell's body and they coexisted for years#until Percy was separated from the human body and given their own leaving Maxwell on its own#and a lot of people we know on Paradox (where Percy is from) have copies on Voidworld (the two mirror worlds' old now less accurate name)#so we have Paradox Owen and Voidworks (aka Voidworld Owen) or Ro (paradox) and Lucas (void)#but then we found ANOTHER voidworld owen with a DIFFERENT BACKSTORY and a different home and everything#and we thought we solved that problem (oh yeah Helios made a paradox machine maybe that split Voidworks in two?)#but no the WORLD is split in two. because we already had a Void Percy (aka Ochre) and we know them well in sys#but just recently we found a Void Maxwell!#which- because of the fact that Maxwell and Percy shared a body for so many years there SHOULDN'T BE a separate Void Maxwell#in fact there shouldn't be a void percy AT ALL considering they're not FROM EARTH (these are all different versions of earth)#Ochre logically should be MAXWELL'S void version not Percy's#but Ochre is NOT Maxwell. Ochre is Percy.#We've found Nate#who seems to be Void Maxwell#specifically Maxwell#but like#WE HAVE THE SAME BIO FAMILY IN EVERY EARTH HOW IS THERE TWO OF THEM WHEN ONLY ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BORN#and Nate and Ochre aren't like. twins or something. they aren't even RELATED. WHO IS NATE'S FAMILY?????????
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thatuselesshuman · 1 month
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Me when someone says some dumb shit about my medical issues
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longroadstonowhere · 5 months
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going absolutely insane because someone might actually solve the epitaph from umineko in the discord i'm in
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medicinemane · 5 months
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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"
I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse
And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa
And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house
I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished
...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)
And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff
There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government
No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)
Like have some accountability there and in every situation
Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free
If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off
I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)
But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced
Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around
I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)
...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change
(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)
(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)
#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem#shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide#what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne#...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain#and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make#but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves#not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here'#it's sick; it truly is#but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better#we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair#only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide#the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same#you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help#that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink#get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope#we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said#'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die'#I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up#I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure#and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty#my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows)#...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more...#and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet#it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last#...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind#I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die#and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income#given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now#mm tag so i can find things later
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akihikosanada · 7 months
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i love the femc playthrough sososososo much to the point i see her route as the "real" persona 3 however i will never forgive atlus for making ken a romance option there . why did they do that
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tittyinfinity · 1 year
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My mom: why would someone want to be called "they?" They're not more than one person
Me: See how you just used the singular "they're" there? You use it a lot. Like when you're reading an article or listening to a story about someone, you'd say "they sound pretty cool, who are they?" Or "what was that person doing? They seem lost." There's quite a few instances of using singular they.
My mom: I just find it a bit confusing.
Me: and that's okay to be confused at first! But whether or not you're confused, it's respectful to call people what they want to be called. You wouldn't call someone a nickname that they asked you not to use, right?
My mom: I suppose so.
Me: it doesn't hurt anyone to use someone's pronouns. But it does hurt someone when you call them by the wrong name or set of pronouns. It's just about respecting people's boundaries. It's okay to be confused, but don't let that affect how you treat people.
My mom: That makes sense. Thank you Danielle.
I'm glad that my mom remains open-minded for most things. Many of her friends are queer so she's always willing to learn more. I appreciate her about that.
However, she's a bit more stubborn about some of her other opinions 😅 mostly ableism lol
But my mom is cool as hell
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saladadventurebox · 9 months
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Did silverwastes (red rock bastion in particular) and BOY DO I MISS IT. I spent probably 100 hours there alone in it's heyday, countless base defenses and boss kills under my belt.
I have to say, though, that for the first time I was made keenly aware of how much the introduction of mounts ruined maps not originally designed for them. Say what you want about convenience, but Silverwastes had a distinct feeling when you had to run everywhere that is now entirely gone. I'm not even covering how many overworld events get missed because the bulk of the group hopped onto griffons and skyscales and is halfway across the (smaller, meant for foot travel) map before you're even out of combat. I'm only talking about the vibes of the map, the way I felt as a character playing through it, and my immersion in their world.
Silverwastes was my favorite map bar none. I loved the event cycle, and more than that, I loved how it made me actually feel like a commander in the Pact. The constant flipflop of defending/rebuilding was such a tight game play loop, and you even had built-in ways to help while you're getting there because of the caravan routes. And for the final event, Vinewrath had some really good design principles (was just re-marveling over how they prevent lane spillage post-boss defeat with a single status, the other lanes still being relevant even after their boss is dead, etc).
And when I was fighting those bosses and the Vinewrath trio, it feels like you're really dealing a blow to Mordremoth. And that!! Was how it was meant to feel!!! The all-time high of the Silverwastes assault followed by the absolutely crushing loss in Verdant Brink was so masterful that I still think about it nearly a decade later.
When you would look up and see one of the copters, you would feel like you had artillery backup. Like the weight of the Pact was fully behind you while you marched into hell. Now I look up, and I see a skyscale dyed like Spyro the dragon. And it suddenly feels so cheap. I don't mind transmogs that are "lore breaking", but I do kind of mind this. Maybe because I remember how it felt before.
It felt so much better.
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pepprs · 2 years
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mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i literally can’t quit omg i feel so fucking bad. it wasn’t so bad this time but also HE LITERALLY FORCED ME TO COME OUT LKKE GIRL HELLO???#he cornered me and asked me if redacted had to do w my s*duality and i was like ummmmm. yeah 🫣 and he was like now why didn’t you say that#the first time 🤨 and i was like …………. 😳. AND THEN i asked him why he asked me that and he said he’s been waiting for the right moment to ge#it out of me and he always suspected it LIKE HELLO I THINK THAT IS POSSIBLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE I WANTED TO DIEEEEEE#and i lied right to his face abt stuff w my mom and also the redacted situation bc i always feel in trouble whenever i talk abt them w him#and also he asked how things were w my mom and i told him and he was like that’s great but how are things with YOU and yoir mom 🤨. UGHHHHH#and i can’t leave bc his supervisor is gravely ill and they haven’t talked abt doing inter generational therapy w me yet which is what they#want to do <- hasn’t looked it up yet and doesn’t know what it receals about me. and he also is like yet agai. trying to get me to separate#myself from data expunged AND ITS LIKE OMGGGG NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHY DO I HAVE TO THROW AWAY A GOOD THING THAT IS WORKING FOR ME JUST FOR#THE SAKE OF CONFORMING TO SOME STUOID MENTAL HEALJT STANDARD. so yeah ummmmm idk what to dooooo i know im not getting the best possible car#and this whole thing has been a cluster fuck but he validated my reaction to something for the first time like EVER today and he has plans#and what if they work. and like omg if i drop it on him he’ll be so hurt and surprised like it will really come out of nowhere and i don’t#want to look like even more of a fool to him than iam. but he says i can’t withhold stuff bc it’s doing me a disservice and we need to see#the fullness of who i am to get to the root and solve problems and stuff but it’s like uhmmmm… but you don’t make me feel safe for reacting#the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel#safe and unjudged for doing so like. lol. the thought of leaving him makes me feel so guilty and stupid bc it s like why are you throwing a#away sliding scale therapy that could turn out to be really useful and running away when ppl tell you things abt yourself you don’t like to#admit and force you to look at your hard ugly truths. but also the thought of working w him until july after already having had 16 weeks of#this literaly makes me fucking insane so idk what to do and finding a new counselor would be so hard and i don’t have time or money. UGHHHH#purrs#delete later#like how am i gonna walk out on him when we just spent all this time talking abt how this new technique will bring me into a new season. AU
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