Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything
She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it
She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world
She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself
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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"
I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse
And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa
And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house
I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished
...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)
And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff
There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government
No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)
Like have some accountability there and in every situation
Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free
If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off
I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)
But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced
Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around
I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)
...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change
(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)
(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)
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My mom: why would someone want to be called "they?" They're not more than one person
Me: See how you just used the singular "they're" there? You use it a lot. Like when you're reading an article or listening to a story about someone, you'd say "they sound pretty cool, who are they?" Or "what was that person doing? They seem lost." There's quite a few instances of using singular they.
My mom: I just find it a bit confusing.
Me: and that's okay to be confused at first! But whether or not you're confused, it's respectful to call people what they want to be called. You wouldn't call someone a nickname that they asked you not to use, right?
My mom: I suppose so.
Me: it doesn't hurt anyone to use someone's pronouns. But it does hurt someone when you call them by the wrong name or set of pronouns. It's just about respecting people's boundaries. It's okay to be confused, but don't let that affect how you treat people.
My mom: That makes sense. Thank you Danielle.
I'm glad that my mom remains open-minded for most things. Many of her friends are queer so she's always willing to learn more. I appreciate her about that.
However, she's a bit more stubborn about some of her other opinions 😅 mostly ableism lol
But my mom is cool as hell
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Did silverwastes (red rock bastion in particular) and BOY DO I MISS IT. I spent probably 100 hours there alone in it's heyday, countless base defenses and boss kills under my belt.
I have to say, though, that for the first time I was made keenly aware of how much the introduction of mounts ruined maps not originally designed for them. Say what you want about convenience, but Silverwastes had a distinct feeling when you had to run everywhere that is now entirely gone. I'm not even covering how many overworld events get missed because the bulk of the group hopped onto griffons and skyscales and is halfway across the (smaller, meant for foot travel) map before you're even out of combat. I'm only talking about the vibes of the map, the way I felt as a character playing through it, and my immersion in their world.
Silverwastes was my favorite map bar none. I loved the event cycle, and more than that, I loved how it made me actually feel like a commander in the Pact. The constant flipflop of defending/rebuilding was such a tight game play loop, and you even had built-in ways to help while you're getting there because of the caravan routes. And for the final event, Vinewrath had some really good design principles (was just re-marveling over how they prevent lane spillage post-boss defeat with a single status, the other lanes still being relevant even after their boss is dead, etc).
And when I was fighting those bosses and the Vinewrath trio, it feels like you're really dealing a blow to Mordremoth. And that!! Was how it was meant to feel!!! The all-time high of the Silverwastes assault followed by the absolutely crushing loss in Verdant Brink was so masterful that I still think about it nearly a decade later.
When you would look up and see one of the copters, you would feel like you had artillery backup. Like the weight of the Pact was fully behind you while you marched into hell. Now I look up, and I see a skyscale dyed like Spyro the dragon. And it suddenly feels so cheap. I don't mind transmogs that are "lore breaking", but I do kind of mind this. Maybe because I remember how it felt before.
It felt so much better.
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