#(sounds silly but since i was a kid i always thought 26 would be The Best Age. it is my lucky number after all) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kachawo · 2 years

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A scp/magnus archives-esque au where Lan Wangji and Jiang Wanyin discover old cassette tapes of status entries, the voice in those tapes... none other than Wei Wuxian, who had gone missing 6 years ago.

This was not the strangest part alone, the entries, the contents-- it all sounds like a madman's dream.

Wei Wuxian spoke about objects or living beings in such a frightening perspective all the while maintaining a calm tone.

"Entry 0096 Subject: 4. Species: Type AD. Further observations have concluded--

Entry 0109 Subject: 12. Species: Type 0. It seems that The Busker is able to mutate--

Entry 0013 Subject: 25. Species: ???. The subject we call "Dean" has shown very interesting-- "

It's all a mystery to the both of them.

What's worse is this-- both Lwj and Jwy know that the man was not some sort of mad-scientist,

He was-- he was a doctor! Wei Ying held down a job in a rehab institute in Yiling for people who where born with deficiencies.

The same Yiling Institute that burned down after the said man had gone missing.

Jiang Wanyin was convinced this was some sick trick that his brother left behind, some fantasy story Wei Ying thought was cool. He knew his brother so well he--

He wasn't the person that Jiang Wanyin heard in those tapes, the voice is different. It's not cheerful or bright-- the Wei Wuxian he knew would not have such a dead voice.

Jiang Wanyin gave up on the hope of finding the man very quickly. 6 goddamn years, and all he got was this.

But Lan Wangji never did.

He hoarded those tapes like a lifeline. Listened to all 26 tapes over and over and over and over-

He felt like he had something. An answer, it was here somewhere he just couldn't find it!

Wei Ying was here, that voice over the recorder was him he knows it.

But Lan Wangji doesn't know why.

Listening to the tapes repeatedly, his hope started to wane. But he held out-- even when his brother called out to him, even when his uncle barked that he was finding a dead man-

And it ended up being very fruitful.

"To the dearest boy I knew, with him my heart grew...

Lan Wangji knew this song, had immortalized it in his heart.

When the voice in the tape sang this... he sounded soft.

How could he have missed it? So eager to devour every word that came out of that voice, he never really stayed long on one tape.

If the recording ended, it usually spared a few minutes of utter silence. He never waits until the end of that silence to switch to another tape.

Which was an utter mistake.

"He sent me to the Lotus Lake, held my hand all day.."

It was such a silly lullaby, and it kept changing depending on its singer's mood.

Oh, how Lan Wangji loved it.

"Oh how it makes me woe, to see my dear boy go.."

"With him my heart stays, while here my body lays."

"Beneath the Lotus Lake."

Shortly after a sad chuckle follows the song.

"Or... should I say beneath the Yiling Lake?"

Lan Wangji's heart dropped.

Once he was sure the recording truly finished, he fished it out the holder and examined it.

"Entry 0123. Clouds." The title on the tape says. It was just the same as the others, Wei Ying would start by describing the subject and go on like he always did.

But now Lan Wangji looks closer.

The date underneath it says 08/24/1997. Exactly 6 years before Wei Ying went missing.

His eyes grow large at the realization--

Lan Wangji remembers very clearly, in the recording Wei Ying had said--

"It is currently 12 pm of January 23. I do realize that I've missed the chance to greet a Happy New Year but oh well--

Who am I kidding? It's not like anyone will find these tapes anyways. Devices like these are old to the new generation. In the 21st century no one's even gonna recognize these silly things."

21st century

Wei Ying had gone missing in the 20th

It filled Lan Wangji with hope and fear.

He's still out there.

But then how did this tape get here? These were retrieved from Wei Ying's old apartment, which has been restricted from being accessed ever since he had gone missing.

Jiang Wanyin and Lan Wangji were allowed to retrieve his stuff only 3 months ago.

The date today was October 30th, 2004.

Why is it that, of all the tapes Wei Ying had recorded, this one was the most up to date?

Especially when the other recordings were within dates that they knew he was still present in their lives?

This was the only recording of him during those missing 6 years.

And it's fresh.

Lan Wangji stumbled, he grabbed his phone on the desk and contacted the only person he knew at that moment.

The phone rang

And picked up.

"Jiang Wanyin, I've found him."

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #modern au #lan wangji #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #scp #magnus archives #kinda confusing sorry #mystery #scientist wei wuxian #writings #writing ideas #Lost Case Files au #notice how the entry number is actually lwj’s bday?#and the date wwx mentions is also lwj’s bday #our boy was reminiscing on lwj’s bday #and lwj found this tape on wwx’s bday #just a fun little detail

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misslilli · 3 years

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Hope you guys are not too busy with Fictober 😄 thank you, as always, for your amazing feedback!

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 26 - A Pivotal Peppermint Mocha

[ DS ]

He respects my wishes, of course he does, and I don’t see him before or after Thanksgiving break, except for a few glimpses from afar, across the school yard or at the farmer’s market. As time passes, each time I see him, it gets less and less painful and my funk begins to lift. My kids at school breathe a sigh of relief and my friends stop tiptoeing around me. The nights get easier, too, and I manage at least a few hours of shut-eye.

I just got home from school, a little earlier than usual and I can hear the girls chatting and laughing in the kitchen.

“…and then Squirrel rolled her eyes and said: ‘But Felix, that’s impossible, no-one can stuff 100 marshmallows into their mouth, not even your dad!’ I get such a kick out of this kid, he insisted over and over again that Moose could do it and he’ll prove it to her. You should’ve seen the exasperated look on Squirrel’s face!”

What the hell? That conversation is eerily familiar because I’ve just had it this morning at recess. Why the fuck are they referring to us as Moose and Squirrel?

They jump about a mile as I step into the kitchen, guilty looks plastered all over their faces. Sarah, who just told the story, starts to speak first. “Uuuh.. hey D, you’re home early…” My hands on my hips, I give them each a long, hard stare.

“Who. The Fuck. Are Moose and Squirrel?” They share a look I can’t decipher and Holly pulls out a chair.

“You better sit down for this, D.” I do as I’m told and glance around the table, waiting for someone to start explaining what’s going on.

Sarah and Holly both make it clear by silently staring at Alex, the calm one of our group, the one they trust can explain in a way I won’t kick their asses afterwards.

Alex folds her hands in front of her and takes a deep breath. “Okay. I’d like to preface this with stating that everything we did was done with love and because we care about you and your happiness.” ‘Oh goody, I can’t wait to see where this is going…’

“We’ve been talking about Moo- Mulder a lot at our Friday night dinners and we could tell that you liked him. When nothing happened and no-one made the first move, we thought we’d give fate little pushes in the right direction.” I stare at her, starting to panic.

“Oh God, what did you do? Is anyone else in on this thing? Is he in on this whole thing?”

“No, no, no-one knows except for us. And Miss Hannigan, but only because we needed her help with the costumes and we swore her to secrecy.” I snort, you can’t swear the town gossip to secrecy.

“So the Halloween costume was your doing? That we went to the town fair in a couple’s costume?” Alex nods. “What else?”

“Just little things, I swear. Remember when we were at the Farmer’s Market and we all had various errands to run? We saw Felix and Mulder were heading over, so we scattered to give you some alone time.” Which led to our first quasi-semi-let’s not call it a date-date, yes I remember.

“So what’s the Moose and Squirrel business then?”

“Well, since it was all a secret operation, we needed codenames. Sarah came up with a play on the first letters of your last names and we thought it was cute, especially since there’s such a big height difference between these characters too. This was how Operation: Bullwinkle was born. Of course, after the basketball fiasco, we called it off… are you mad, D?” I sit in silence for a while, taking in the things my friends came up with to set Mulder and I up.

They eye me anxiously, trying to gauge my reaction and if they should run for cover right about now.

“No, I’m not mad. It was actually a really clever secret operation and I’m kind of sad it didn’t work out the way we all wanted.” Holly lifts her shoulders, relieved that I understood that they didn’t mean to cause any harm.

“Never say never, D.”

—————

[ FM ]

My mom has taken Felix with her while she’s out grocery shopping, which gives me a good part of the afternoon to leave the house and roam the streets. A good way to clear my head. It’s the first week of December, but New England hasn’t been graced with snow yet, just a misty cold that seeps into your coat and straight through to your bones.

My hands are freezing because I forgot to take my gloves, so when the green logo of the local Starbucks catches my eye, I go in to warm up and get a cup of coffee.

Usually, I avoid this place like the plague, I don’t possess the fast decision making skills required to choose from the 999 combinations, just to have a cup of freakishly overpriced coffee.

I can barely get through the door, the place is jam packed and soon, I can smell why. Peppermint Mocha season starts today. The prospect of standing in line for hours almost makes me turn back, but something stops me from leaving.

Most of the people are holding a cup in their hands gleefully already, so I push my way through the crowd to where the line starts. When I reach it, I find myself dumbly staring at the back of a fiery head of hair, a shade I’d recognize anywhere in the world and in the most crowded places.

Shi-hit, does this break the ‘giving space’ rule? No, I’m just getting a cup of coffee on a cold winter day, no big deal. I don’t even have to talk to her. Yeah right, who am I kidding?

—————

[ DS ]

I’m way too excited about the start of Peppermint Mocha season, so here I am, in a place packed with people, patiently waiting in line to finally get my hands on that glorious to-go cup of Christmas Spirit.

I’m next in line when the person in front of me turns a little too quickly, making me take a step backwards to let them pass, bumping into the person standing behind. I mumble a “I’m sorry!” over my shoulder and freeze when I hear a familiar voice respond with an “Don’t worry about it.”

Counting to ten in my head before I turn my head, I come to face with a grinning Fox Mulder, who adds “Fancy bumping into you here!” His silly pun elicits the first genuine smile I’ve given in weeks.

“Technically, you didn’t bump into me, I bumped into you.”

He grins even wider and nudges my shoulder with his index finger. “There. So, I’m new in town, what’s good here?”

I order my Peppermint Mocha with sweet cream foam and an extra espresso shot while he pretends to gag, he orders his black coffee to my snort and the barista’s comment on what kind of first name ‘Mulder’ is. We move to stand at the end of the counter to wait for our coffees.

“Sometimes, I just want to tell them my name is Bob, just so I don’t have to explain Mulder or Fox to another barista.”

“Don’t ask me how many time’s I’ve been Donna, Danny or Dinara and one time, Daniel. I think they do it on purpose. At least yours is easy to spell, Eff - Oh - Ex.”

“Oh I bet you were a regular hit at the spelling bee, with those mad skills of yours!”

“I’m a woman of many talents, Bob.”

The barista calls out our names, ‘Peppermint Mocha for Daisy, black coffee for Mouldy’ and we reach out to accept our respective cups. Pushing out way to the crowd, we continue our conversation.

“Daisy? That's not even remotely close to my real name… but Mouldy is freaking priceless!” Her giggle at their slip up almost makes it worth it to have a shitty first name.

“Yeah, yeah, make fun of the guy with the funny name. I kind of like Daisy, though, it’s a pretty name!”

I’m so happy to see that we turn to head in the same direction, strolling along the crowded sidewalk, sipping our coffee. I have to walk pretty fast to keep up with his long strides.

“It is, yeah! So tell me, Eff- Oh- Ex, how much flak did you have to take way back in the day, when “What does the Fox say?” came out?” I shudder at the memory.

“They didn’t tease me with it. Much. Just a lot of ring-ding-dingalinging. It became a thing in my friend group, whenever they asked me something, they’d add ‘So what does the Fox say?’. It went on a long time and they still do it sometimes, when we get together, just to drive me nuts!”

“I hope for your sake that Felix never discovers that song, he’d have a field day!” Oh God, she’s right. Must keep him away from it at all costs. At my panic face, she laughs an evil laugh. “We do listen to a lot of music at recess…”

“Oh no, you wouldn’t!” I point an icy finger at her. “Promise me you wouldn’t!”

“Well, it does have a lot of educational material in it, with all the animal sounds…”

“I’ll have you know that you hold my sanity in your hands, handle with care!”

“I hear they have a lot of fun pills at the asylum, maybe I’ll come visit so you can sneak me some!”

We come to stand at the junction where we have to part ways and she raises her cup.

“Have a good day, Mouldy!”

“You too, Daisy!”

—————

[ DS ]

I think about the strange but fun encounter all the way home, the world didn’t end like I thought it would when we met again and it was a rather pleasant conversation. Like a conversation between long-time friends, even though friendship is not exactly what I’m looking for here. But it’ll have to do, for now. It’s just nice to talk to him again.

#xf #the x files #xf fanfic #msr #felix felicis

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petri808 · 3 years

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1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33-Epilogue

— I just wanna say thank you so much to everyone who followed along, your comments and suggestions along the way really helped to bring this story to life! It’s my longest fic to date, and to think it started as a one-shot for nalu day 2020 lol. YOU GUYS HELPED MAKE THIS HAPPEN! 🥳🥰🥰 ILY YOU ALL!💜💜💜💜

@mcornilliac special shout out for you help with the toughest part 😘

Even after all these years, riding on a train still brought a small flutter to Lucy’s stomach as she remembered the long ago evening when she’d met her husband. From an innocent meeting to a death defying experience, talk about a roller coaster ride. And yet, if she had to do it all over again, Lucy wouldn’t change a thing. Crazy sounding yes, for why would anyone not want to avoid what she’d gone through? Touka had truly pushed her sanity to the breaking point, but well, the therapist was right in the end and Lucy felt almost invincible now. All that pain, all the struggle she’d pushed through had made her the strong and resilient woman she was today. Happily married to Natsu with their fraternal twins Nashi and Ryuu. Mrs. Natsu Dragneel, Lucy smiled to herself, there was no way she’d change a thing.

Of course, it hadn’t been easy. After Natsu proposed and Lucy had accepted, there were still a lot of work to be done. But that measure of acceptance and affection did wonders. Any worries she’d had that he wouldn’t want a broken woman melted away and gave her the confidence to get better. With each passing therapy session, her strength grew, and by the time they graduated college, Lucy could honestly say she’d been cured to a functional degree. No longer struggling through nightmares and panic attacks, her anxieties were under control and the debilitating depression a distant memory where it belonged.

Yeah... Lucy sighed happily as she watched the landscape pass by from her train seat. Meeting Natsu was the best thing to ever happen in her life, well, aside from the kids. They’d married about a year after graduation on the anniversary of their meeting. It was a beautiful affair at an indoor venue, with close friends and family to join them. They’d gone a more modern route for the ceremony but did take pictures at a garden dressed in the traditional attire for sentimental reasons. Lucy wore the shiromuku white kimono while Natsu a montsuki haori hakama. And no, it wasn’t train themed! Levy was the Maid of Honor and Gray was the best man. By then, Levy and Gajeel were also married and Gray in a serious relationship with a girl named Juvia Lockser. Lucy was so happy for them both. All of their lives were moving in the right direction.

Everything was perfect. Great jobs in their fields of interest, lives settled into a comfortable routine, when 5 years later Lucy was pregnant with fraternal twins. It was a total surprise since twins didn’t run in either of their families. Always the jovial optimist, Natsu joked that they’d been doubly blessed because of what they’d gone through, and Lucy couldn’t help but love such a concept. Of course, once the euphoria of the motherhood prospect waned, reality set in that she was having twins! Two! Double the babies meant double of everything, from the pregnancy concerns to raising them. Growing up without a mother and as an only child, Lucy didn’t have a lot of experience with small children. But Natsu patiently assured her, that she’d do just fine. Think of it as a new challenge, and after overcoming one pretty tough situation, this would be a walk in the park. On the bright side, Levy was also pregnant with the couple’s first child so the two best friend’s kids would grow up together.

And Natsu was right, there were a few bumps in the road but nothing too difficult. During her fourth month Lucy was diagnosed with gestational diabetes as well as some minor gastrointestinal issues, so Natsu swayed the doctor to put her on bed rest. Better safe than sorry. The babies were healthy, but by the 7th month, she really couldn’t move much, and she was miserable being stuck at home all the time. Lucy missed her job because she genuinely enjoyed working for the magazine. But in the end, it had been a good thing. She could manage her health easier that way and it gave her time to do something she’d thought about doing as part of the healing process. With Natsu’s support and permission, it was time to put her writing skills to good use and write a book about their experience.

It became an instant hit, especially with female readers. The book was not only an autobiographical reflection of what had happened to them but focused on shining a light on the dangers of stalkers, as well as the importance of taking the warning signs seriously. Lucy didn’t hold back in her re-telling, even pointing out the serious flaws in Japan’s laws in protecting citizens from stalkers which at the time were nonexistent. Feminist organizations working to change those laws used her story with permission for their cause. She had no intentions of becoming a poster child for the movement, but in the end her role may have played its part, because 2 years after the publishing, Japan finally adopted anti-stalking laws making it easier for police to string together harassment cases, as well as for victims to get the help they needed.

Her life was nothing but exciting to say the least! And with two young children, now age 10 certainly kept them on their toes. Their daughter Nashi was just like Natsu, very outgoing, friendly, but a bit of a daredevil while her brother Ryuu born 4 minutes after her was the quieter of the two. He preferred books like his mother to adventure. Of course, that never stopped Nashi from dragging him into shenanigans! But the best part was how close they still were and fiercely protective of each other. Lucy and Natsu couldn’t be prouder of them and hoped this would continue throughout their lifetimes.

Fifteen years... come to think of it, their wedding anniversary was coming up shortly. With Natsu now a senior fire inspector for the Tokyo prefectural government, he was often busy. Lucy did mind it, because frankly it gave her some peace and quiet. She chuckled at the thought. Not that it was all that peaceful with the twins. But she digressed. His success meant their lives were very comfortable, and her own journalism successes while not as financially based, were still celebrated in their relationship. Natsu never waned in being the dutiful and supportive, always loving husband that Lucy felt blessed to grow old with.

‘Two more stops, pick up the kids from school, stop at the grocery store for dinner...’ Lucy tapped out on her phone a to-do list of ingredients to pick up at the store. Perhaps katsudon... ‘Mmm, or maybe nabe,’ hot-pot soup since it was expected to be a bit chilly that evening.

Lucy looked up briefly, really just spacing out in thought when someone catches her eye. At the other end of the train car, she noticed a woman facing slightly away, but enough to where she couldn’t quite see a face. It couldn’t be... Lucy looked away not wanting to stare, but somehow... for some reason the woman was awfully familiar... looking exactly like Touka. Well, not exactly, but enough to make the hair on the back of her neck stand up. It was a blonde, with a different hair style— and that could always be changed. Similar body type, the facial side-profile features that Lucy could see resembled Touka...

Now despite being better, her anxieties still bubbled up from time to time, so she immediately switched to her coping techniques to calm them down. ‘You’re fine,’ Lucy talked herself through it, ‘no point in getting riled up.’ The woman hadn’t done so much as looked in her direction, so it must be okay. Contrary to popular belief, things like depression and anxiety never fully goes away, especially when someone has experienced a severe level of it. Those emotions and irrational thoughts are forever programmed into the brain, but there are ways to keep them at bay and Lucy’s successfully done just that for 15 years.

‘Just go back to what you were doing. Katsudon or nabe? And don’t forget you need to pick up milk...’ But, fifteen years... could Touka have been released by now? Lucy shook the thought away again. ‘Stop it! Everything is fine. It’s not her!’ The train was semi-full of passengers all minding their own business... including the woman. There was no reason to start panicking now. Lucy adjusts her position on her seat away from the woman’s direction. If she couldn’t see her, she could pretend she didn’t exist. ‘Maybe I should pick up ingredients for both, that way I don’t have to shop tomorrow.’ Lucy thought to herself, and with the kids with her, they could help in carrying the shopping bags. ‘Yeah, we’ve got a plan…’

After figuring out her shopping list, Lucy pulled up social media to keep herself distracted and for a few minutes it did the trick. Silly videos of entertainers never got old. The train reached the next stop and she felt it come to a stop. Since it wasn’t hers, she didn’t pay it any mind as she scrolled through her feed. But as the disembarking passengers funnel past Lucy, her eyes pick up on a pair of pink high-heels peeking from over the edge of her phone. Her body instantly stiffened up from the similarity to the ones worn by the woman, while her curiosity slowly got the better of her. ‘Breath, act nonchalant!’ Lucy’s eyes tracked the high-heels moving past her until they left her periphery. She then slowly sat back up, pretending to readjust her position, when she caught a pair of eyes looking back. Lucy’s breathing hitches with a shaky exhale. “Oh, my god—"

Standing at the doorway with one hand on the frame, the blonde woman smiled at Lucy then winked before stepping off the train.

It was Touka!

#nalu #nalu au #nalu fan fiction #nalu fan fic #natsu dragneel #Lucy heartfilia #Natsu x lucy #fairy tail #strangers on a train #epilogue #petri808

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cowboyjen68 · 3 years

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Hey jen first off congrats on your new tshirt lol but also, do you know of any lesbians that truly didn’t realize they were gay or different until they were much older? i didnt realize I might be gay until I was 19 and even then, there was SEVERE self doubt cus I was well aware how my abusive father had and continues to completely warp and destroy how I view, trusted (i didnt and still dont) and interacted (i didnt and still dont) with cishetero men. Like I’m scared my sexuality is just a massive trauma response. Growing up I had a lot of what i thought were crushes on guys but a lot of times the ‘crushes’ were just me wanting to get their attention and be their friend. I did have a few “romantic” ones but again those men were completely unattainable and theres was no chance we’d ever date or that they’d ever pay me any attention and i...................took comfort in that. it wasnt until I was 19 that i had my first crush (or first that i was aware of) on a girl, but she was straight. and It wasnt until I got my first crush on another lesbian, at age 22 (im 26 now) that it truly smacked me in the face - I was literally losing sleep over this girl, I could barely hold a conversation without blushing and stuttering, hearing her voice or seeing her walk by made my stomach perform a simone biles floor routine, but when she smiled at or complimented me id be smiling goofily for the rest of the day. Then i found out she had a gf and my heart dropped to my ass and while I hate to admit it, i felt the petty jealousy and envy bubbling up to the surface (but i absolutely never acted on it cus i knew the feelings were irrational and silly). Like I felt like I was back in middle school and like.......a guy has NEVER brought that intensity of emotions out of me. The first time I slept with a woman I loved it, and continue to love it and i know this paragraph is painting a massive picture of “yes you fucking idiot you are gay” but when i talk to or hear stories from other lesbians, I can never relate or align to that feeling of “knowing I was different since I was young”, I had 0 clue up until my 20s. that paired with my upbringing, plus smaller traumas here and there also centered around men..........like im truly scared that the day i fully heal is the day I’m gonna realize my sexuality is a lie. and its a big reason (besides mental and emotional instability) i avoid relationships even though i want one cus i dont wanna put another girl through hell just cus i cant figure MY shit out you know? Like this sounds so childish but I wish there was like an entrance exam or something that you can take and itll give you some type of definitive answer like: “yes youre gay”, “nope straight”, “maybe? need more info/experience” or “pls for the love of god go to therapy”

Ok.. first. yeah.. therapy can be great.. even for healthy, well adjusted people.

BUT:

Once of the reasons I didn't know "what" i was is because I had no exposure to role models that looked like me. No one to show me what life might look like besides what I saw with my mom and dad, the neighbors mom and dad, my uncles and aunts.. the man woman kids model. I had no words or word for my experience and not really any idea there was any option.

I knew was different especially once puberty hit, there was just no way for me to know how I was different or to know I wouldn't outgrow the "phase".

I always say, it is not necessary for any of us to have intimacy or sex with someone in order to have that "awakening" of our sexuality and I believe that. However, sometimes that little touch, kiss, tingly feeling can push us more towards our admitting it to ourselves sooner rather than later.

We all have different reasons to be unsure. In a neutral world it wouldn't matter, we would be attracted to whomever we are attracted to and that would be that. BUT the world is not neutral and figuring out out sexual orientation is important because it helps us fine our "safe" community in an often hostile world. Sadly that means we have to sort out our feelings, our experiences, social media and media and lots of lies and inconsistencies to separate that from for our innate sexual attraction. It is not always clear what is attraction, true passion and what is imposed upon us from outside pressure.

The good news is there is no time line and no shame in being wrong. Our innate sexuality does not change but our understanding of it does as we gain experience and get to know ourselves. Follow your heart. Do not date for others, date for yourself. You don’t need to know for sure to enjoy figuring it out.

I can also tell you that I know lesbians my age who married men, had kids and had okay lives. It never occurred to them they were lesbians... then small things crept in. They realized what they thought was love was friendship. What they thought was passion was going through the motions. Then, one day, they met other lesbians, saw other lesbians and realized they had mistaken “finding a nice man” for love. and attraction.

Don’t worry about the opinions of others. They don’t have any right to judge you or your past or your dating life. You are allowed to be wrong and to reevaluate yourself. I have a feeling that once you allow yourself to trust yourself you will figure things out much faster.

When you are ready to date you will not be too much for the right woman. Somehow all those things you think will be too hard for another will not be for someone with whom you click. It is also okay to not be ready to date. To take time for yourself.

#lesbian #dating #sexualtiy

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 4 years

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Non-Sequential [Ch. 27]

Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader

One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.

Word Count: 3,200

Chapter 26

Y/N shot up in bed when her Kimoyo beads lit up and alerted her of an incoming call.

It was the middle of the night and she had been fast asleep.

When she tapped one of the beads, a hologram of Steve popped up.

“Steve?” She asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes awake.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” he said softly.

“It’s fine. Is everything OK?” She asked.

Steve sighed. “Vision and Wanda were attacked in Edinburgh.”

Y/N was fully awake now. “Attacked?”

“By…By aliens,” Steve added.

She froze. It sounded like a joke. But the look on Steve’s face was nothing but serious.

“Is everyone OK?”

Steve glanced down. “Vision’s hurt. It’s not good. Wanda’s a little beat up, but fine. Nat and Sam are OK.”

“And what about you?” She challenged.

“I’m fine,” he answered too quickly.

Y/N waited for him to continue.

“We’re on the quinjet now.” Then he hesitated. “Headed to the compound.” He sighed again. “Y/N…there was an attack in New York City. Tony’s missing. He was last seen boarding the spaceship that landed. And that’s the last anyone’s heard of him.”

Y/N suddenly realized why Steve was calling her. Something bad was about to happen. And neither of them believed they were going to see each other before it all went down.

“What if they arrest you?” Y/N thought aloud.

But Steve was already shaking his head at the question. “They know they need us. We’re about to be under attack. They’ve already lost Tony. Earth needs as much help as it can get.”

“What do they want?” She asked numbly.

“Vision. They want the mind stone.” Steve’s jaw clenched. “We’re taking him to the compound to see if we can remove it and still keep him alive.”

Y/N knew none of this was good. Tony was missing, Vision’s life was at stake, and aliens, they knew nothing about, were about to reign hell on the entire planet if they didn’t get what they wanted.

It was all above Y/N. She may have had an enhancement, but she was never a superhero. She didn’t come from a military background or the intelligence community. She only knew about the secrets of the universe from her relationship with Steve.

“Steve,” she whispered, “are you coming back?”

It was the question Steve was scared to answer.

“I-I don’t know, Y/N.”

She was about to open her mouth, say her goodbyes and tell him how much she loved him. Everything that needed to be said before they went into the unknown.

But Steve cut her off before she could do it. “I’ll call you soon,” he urged in his captain voice.

Except Y/N stayed quiet and looked unsure.

“Y/N,” his tone was stern. “Look at me.”

She did.

“I will call you soon. OK?”

She nodded.

Then the call ended and Y/N’s bedroom was filled with darkness once again.

————

Bucky woke up to the sound of someone pounding on his door.

“Bucky! Bucky, wake up!”

He shot out of bed as he immediately recognized Y/N’s voice.

The two of them hadn’t spoken since he went to her room and confessed everything.

But none of that mattered when he could clearly hear the panic in her voice.

He opened the door to Y/N’s wide eyes and heavy breathing. He looked past her shoulder to see that both of her guards were watching her with slight concern, proving that they didn’t know any more than he did of what was going on. They had just blindly followed her here and asked no questions.

“What’s going on?” He asked her.

“I need you to teach me how to shoot a gun,” Y/N said as she struggled to catch her breath.

His eyes furrowed. “What?”

“I’m never going to be as good as I need to be at hand-to-hand combat. So…I need you to show me how to shoot a gun.”

“Y/N, it’s the middle of night. What the hell is going on?”

“Something’s coming. I don’t–I don’t know.” Then her bottom lip started trembling. “I just…I’m sick of being useless. I’m not going to stay here and hide when everyone else is fighting.”

Then she was crying. She was quickly becoming hysterical.

Without even thinking, Bucky pulled her shaking body towards him with his one arm.

“Shhh, kid. It’s OK. It’s OK.” He rubbed her back. “Can you take a deep breath? Can you do that for me?”

It took a bit of coaxing, but Y/N was finally able to do what he asked.

Bucky ignored the guards as he tried to calm her down.

He pulled away to look at her. “Now, tell me what’s going on? What’s gotten you so upset?” He pushed some hair off her face that got stuck to her skin thanks to the tears.

“It’s Thanos.” She finally whispered.

“Who the fuck is Thanos?”

After that, Bucky explained to Y/N’s guards that they were dismissed and he’d look after Y/N.

30 minutes later, he had Y/N sitting in his kitchen with a blanket draped over her shoulders and a cup of tea in her grasp.

She looked so young and scared. The first time Bucky had met Y/N, long before he knew about her ability, she was as older than he’d ever known her. But now, she seemed so young and innocent.

Bucky was reminded that while Steve and Bucky had lived multiple lives that weaved in and out of time, Y/N was just in her first. She had dealt with and seen far more than any young woman her age should have. But with her ability, she never had a choice.

Maybe that was why Bucky felt this draw to her, this sense of duty to protect her. But it was rather silly, wasn’t it? That’s what Steve already did. She didn’t need Bucky too.

Y/N had managed to explain to Bucky the call she’d just received from Steve.

It all made a bit more sense to him now.

“A war’s coming, Bucky,” Y/N muttered as her eyes held no focus, just staring off into the distance.

He didn’t say anything.

“And I can’t do anything to help,” she frowned. “I’m fucking useless.”

Bucky immediately leaned forward. “Hey,” his voice was stern, “That is not true.”

“They say I’m ‘enhanced,’ but my ability is useless. I can’t help anyone with it. I can’t even help myself. I wish I was like Wanda. Or even Natasha…she’s more normal than me and she can make a difference.”

“You think they only way to make a difference is to fight?” Bucky challenged.

“When it’s come to fighting a war, yes.”

He glared at her then. “And what about all the paramedics, the nurses, the doctors?” He sat up straighter. “Or the helpers?”

She squinted at him. “The helpers?”

“There’s always civilians – people just like you – who are helping. Look at any crisis and there’s people saving complete strangers.”

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face.

“People like Steve and the Avengers… they fight so people like you can be safe, so people like you don’t have to fight.”

“You’re saying you’re not one of those people?” She asked, not ignoring that Bucky didn’t include himself in any of that.

“I’m a wanted man,” Bucky pointed out.

“So is Steve,” Y/N immediately countered. “So are half of the Avengers.”

“That’s different and you know it, kid.” Bucky sighed. “And they wouldn’t be wanted if it wasn’t for me…”

Y/N’s Kimoyo beads glowed blue suddenly, signaling that she was getting an incoming call. There is no one else it could be besides Steve.

She instantly tapped at them just how Shuri had taught her.

Seconds later, Steve’s hologram lit up Bucky’s tiny hut.

“Steve! Are you OK?” Y/N instantly blurted out.

“I’m fine. Everyone’s the same,” he quickly told her.

She let out a sigh of relief and allowed herself to relax a little bit.

“I’ll be home in a few hours,” Steve added.

“You’re all…coming to Wakanda?” Y/N asked carefully.

“Shuri is the only person that can help Vision. There’s no other option.”

She nodded in understanding.

“Y/N, I’ve already talked to T’Challa. I’m sending you back to the States as soon as I get back.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Steve? I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve expected this reaction. “Y/N, think about what I just said. We’re bringing Vision back. That means we’re bringing the war right to Wakanda. We’re about to make the country the most dangerous place on the planet.”

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving. Not without you.” Something about her word choice made Steve suddenly go quiet.

“We’ll talk about it when I get there,” he told her quietly.

Y/N realized how tired he looked.

“I just wanted to call and check in,” Steve told her.

She didn’t argue with him further, but the look on her face proved that she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

“I love you,” he told her.

Y/N’s eyes flickered to Bucky. But then quickly went back to the hologram.

“I love you, too.” Steve’s hologram collapsed.

————-

For the first time in awhile, Bucky didn’t keep his distance from Y/N. In fact, he was now doing the complete opposite as he stood on the landing pad of the palace.

Y/N had been fidgeting since they got there, waiting for the team to arrive.

Bucky could tell by the way she held her body and the shadows under her eyes that she didn’t sleep a wink last night.

He’d offered for her to stay and sleep at his place last night, after he finally calmed her down and talked things out with her.

But Y/N immediately declined.

Bucky guessed things were forever changed now that he had admitted his true feelings for her. It’s not like he didn’t expect repercussions for his confession, but it all happened so quickly. He wasn’t ready yet.

“Please don’t let him send me away.”

Bucky blinked.

Y/N had said it so quietly and quickly. It didn’t sound like her. Probably because it came from a place of pure desperation.

He quickly turned to look at her to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.

“Y/N, I don’t think – he’s not gonna listen to me,” Bucky told her gently.

When it came to Y/N and her safety, Bucky didn’t think Steve would listen to anyone. That’s what caused the couples grievances in the first place. Steve would always do what he thought was best for Y/N. It didn’t matter what Bucky, his best friend, had to say.

“He listens to you. Especially when it comes to me,” Y/N told him.

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. But it didn’t matter because the quinjet was now lowering to the platform.

Y/N and Bucky stood back, letting T’Challa formally greet the new guests of Wakanda.

It gave Y/N an opportunity to take everyone in. She hadn’t seen Bruce in forever. He looked the same. But he’d clearly been shaken up. Vision couldn’t even stand up straight and had his arm around Wanda, who was helping him off the jet.

As the team headed their way, Bucky stepped forward, but Y/N remained where she stood.

She watched as Bucky started talking to Steve.

Steve’s eyes flickered over Bucky’s shoulder at Y/N. It was the dead giveaway that they were talking about her.

In return, Y/N looked at the ground, not enjoying the feeling of being discussed without actually being a part of the conversation.

But her attention was quickly taken away when Sam and Nat came over to give her giant hugs. They hadn’t seen her since everything went down with the Accords. When Steve returned to Wakanda to be with her, he never brought the team with him.

“It’s good to see you,” Sam told her with a soft smile as he hugged her.

“Have you been training?” Nat asked as she looked her up and down, taking note of the new muscles that had grown on Y/N’s form.

Y/N shrugged. “A little bit.”

“If you’ll all follow me this way,” T’Challa interrupted, guiding the new guests to Shuri’s lab.

Y/N turned and watched them go.

“I’ll be there in a second,” Steve said from behind her.

When she turned to face him, he was standing right behind her. But Bucky was nowhere to be found.

“Hi,” Y/N spoke quietly.

He gave her a sad smile. “Hi.”

Before he could say anything more, Y/N threw herself into his arms. He instantly wrapped himself around her, like it would be enough to protect her from anything in the world. But they both knew that was impossible.

“I shouldn’t have talked about sending you away the way I did,” Steve quickly told her, whispering it into her hair. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

She pulled back to look at him, but stayed in his arms. “You can’t push me away every time there’s danger around, Steve.”

“I know. I know that now.”

“I’m staying here,” Y/N declared, just to make her point.

He nodded.

Whatever Bucky had said to Steve, Y/N had to thank him for it.

“Go on,” Y/N lightly shoved him away. “T’Challa and the team are waiting for you.”

Steve sighed. “I’ll come find you later.”

Y/N nodded.

————

An hour later, they landed.

The reactions could’ve been worse and more panicked.

Y/N didn’t know what to do as she watched guards and Dora Milaje calling out orders and rushing around the palace. She heard them say something about evacuating the city.

Her eyes raced from face to face, trying to find someone she knew to ask what was going on or what she could do to help.

Her panic started increasing as she failed to find anyone.

“Y/N! Y/N!” His voice called through the chaos.

Relief instantly washed over her as she turned around to find Steve walking toward her with such purpose that everyone stayed out of his way.

“Steve, what’s going on?” She asked. Y/N had seen the ships landing, had felt the vibration as one of them crashed into the protective forcefield.

“They’re here,” he explained.

Then she looked down to see that there was a contraption on each of his forearms.

Y/N’s eyes widened, quickly processing what was happening. “What are you doing?” She shot at him, her tone filled with accusation.

“We’re holding them off. Shuri needs time.”

“Steve, no–“

“Y/N, listen to me,” he cut her off and grabbed her shoulders. Next thing she knew, he was ushering her towards the platform again. “Once we leave, you’re going with the Queen Mother. You’ll be safe with her.”

Hovercrafts were on the platform now and warriors were rushing around them.

Y/N was still trying to process what was happening. She couldn’t focus on anything.

“Steve…” she breathed his name.

Y/N was going into shock.

“Hey, look at me,” he gently pulled her face away from all the chaos that surrounded them. And just like that, he was all she saw. “You’re going to be OK.”

Tears started spilling down her cheeks and she was shaking her head. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.”

He pulled her into him. It was a dangerous thing to do: he didn’t know if he’d be able to let go now.

“I love you, Y/N. Whatever happens, you know that, right?”

He felt her nod against him.

She pulled back, eyes still shedding tears. “I’ve always known that.”

Steve gave her a sad smile.

Then she pulled him into a kiss. It didn’t matter that they were surrounded by people. Nobody was paying them any attention.

It was a goodbye kiss. Steve could feel it. It was desperate. It was messy. But there was also an edge to Y/N. He felt emotions shifting off her that he didn’t quite understand.

There was no time to question it.

“Steve, I love you,” she gasped for air. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” he breathed, still holding her face close to his.

Then someone was calling his name.

“Y/N, I have to go now.” She nodded, but still didn’t drop her hold on him. “You have to let me go,” he whispered to her.

Y/N took in a deep breath and finally took a step back.

“I’ll be OK,” Steve told her as she started slowly walking backwards. He didn’t want to look away from her yet. He couldn’t.

But then he was finally immersed in the crowd of people preparing for battle. She’d lost him.

But then another thought occurred to her.

“Bucky!” She gasped.

Now her eyes were racing around her, trying to find him.

By some miracle, Y/N spotted him as he was about to board a hovercraft.

She jumped into a run, trying her best to avoid running into anyone. She slammed into a few shoulders, but she didn’t that stop her.

“Bucky!” She called and he instantly turned at both his name and her voice.

Y/N was trying to catch her breath when she stopped in front of him. “Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?” She accused.

Bucky at least looked a little guilty. “I’ve never been good at goodbyes, kid.”

“Can you promise me something?” She asked him slowly.

“Anything.”

“When this is all over, can we go back to how things used to be between us? I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t – I don’t want you to keep pushing me away.”

He thought about it for a moment, but nodded his head. “I promise.”

Y/N wrapped him in a hug, burying her face in his neck.

“Don’t worry, kid. I’ll look after that punk,” Bucky breathed into her hair.

“I want you to look after yourself,” she countered.

“Barnes, we’re heading out,” Nat said from atop the hovercraft.

Y/N stepped back from him before she could do anything she regretted.

Bucky gave her a look that she couldn’t quite read.

Y/N wondered…if things were different, if Bucky wasn’t so worried about hurting the people around him, what would he say to her in this moment?

The wind rushed around Y/N as she watched the hovercrafts take off.

Besides the guards who were waiting to escort her to the secure location with the Queen Mother... Y/N was all alone.

The tears slid silently down her face now. She didn’t make a sound, just watched them all getting smaller and smaller as they got closer to the enemy.

Y/N already knew she wasn’t going to see them again.

-----------

Chapter 28

I did it! (don’t worry, this aint the last chapter. i’m not that lucky 😒)

#non-sequential #non-sequential chapter 27 #steve rogers series #steve rogers reader insert #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #captain america series #captain america x reader #captain america x y/n #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #pre serum steve rogers #pre-serum!steve rogers #pre serum!steve rogers x reader #pre serum steve #bucky barnes x reader x steve rogers #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fanfic

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hockeylvr59 · 4 years

Text

Secret Love Part 5 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: So I was supposed to post this yesterday, but it was not a good day for me mentally and I just didn’t really get online. So it’s a day late but I think this is a chapter that will have you all freaking out so I hope you enjoy it.

Warnings: cursing, PG-13 sexual activities.

Word Count: 1,911

~~~~

Waking up wrapped in Cale’s arms was a shock to your system but one that made you feel warm and safe. The competing mindsets made you gasp, and for a moment you feared you’d woken Cale. Instead, he just tightened his grip on your body, forcing you to snuggle even further into his mostly naked figure.

As you laid in his arms, your body became attuned to the feeling of his breath on your neck, the way the muscles in his arms twitched, and the solid length of him pressed against you in more ways than one. Heat flooded your core at the feeling of his dick pressed against your ass and you cursed yourself, carefully trying to extricate yourself from his arms.

Tiptoeing out of his room, you grabbed a pair of leggings from your bag along with a sweater and clean undergarments. Though you debated just changing, you did need to shower so you snuck back through Cale’s room into the bathroom, praying that the sound of the water didn’t disturb him.

With the heated spray working to alleviate the aches from dancing last night, you rubbed your temples trying to figure out what the hell had happened last night. Okay so you knew what had happened, you weren’t drunk, but you couldn’t figure out why it had happened. Were things actually different between you and Cale or were you just imagining it? He’d just been screwed over hard by his girlfriend of almost three years and you were someone he knew he could trust. That had to explain the increased affection right?

A knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. Cale popped his head in to ask if you were almost done and you called back that you just needed another minute or two. Rushing through the rest of your shower, you quickly dried off and got dressed before slipping out of the bathroom.

“It’s all yours!” You called to Cale as you retreated to the couch. You prayed that you had some plans for the day because otherwise you might actually drive yourself crazy.

Thankfully Laura and Gary came through, and for the next two days you ran around Denver, all of the sights and sounds providing the exact distraction that you needed. By the end of the day you were exhausted and you quickly passed out on the couch with only minimal conversation with Cale.

On your final day in Denver, Cale played an afternoon game, an upsetting loss in overtime. Gary and Laura wanted to go to a brewery after the game, but that really wasn’t your thing so Cale suggested you just have a relaxing night watching tv in his apartment instead. He’d ordered takeout, and the two of you had sprawled across his couch with reruns of some sitcom playing in the background.

After dinner he’d suggested opening a bottle of wine and snuggled beside him under his new blanket, one glass became two and two became three. Soon the two of you were working on finishing off your second bottle and you’d reached the point where every nerve ending in your body was humming.

“You know...we haven’t spent this much time together since...well honestly I can’t remember when…” Cale murmured against your head. “It’s been really nice.” He added.

“Yeah you’re not so bad to hang out with.” You teased, pressing the side of your face into his shoulder. It still amazed you sometimes that while you were four and a half years older, he was just so much bigger than you in every way. It made you feel safe and with the wine swirling around your brain it made you wonder what it would be like to have him on top of you, pressing you into the mattress.

You didn’t have to wait long to sort of find out, with your mind off on a tangent you missed Cale trying to get your attention until his fingers were digging into your sides, tickling you as a shrill squeal left your throat. Somehow he’d ended up hovering over you on the couch as you squirmed away from him and the way his blue eyes stared down at you made you freeze. What felt like cracks of electricity passed between you, until finally Cale let out a long sigh and climbed off of you, tucking you back into his side.

Though nothing had happened, it felt like everything between the two of you had shifted.

“Am I crazy?” Cale mumbled eventually.

“I mean you do play a sport where you’re getting hit by 200 pound guys into boards every few nights…” You cheekily replied, trying to cover the way your heart was pounding by making light of his words.

“Y/N…” Cale grumbled, his fingers coming up to run through his hair. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.” He sighed. “Tell me I’m not crazy. Tell me that you feel this too.” Swallowing hard, you ran your fingers through your hair as well.

“You’re not crazy.” You spoke, your tone hushed. As he shifted to look at you, you dropped your gaze to your lap. Quickly, his fingers moved to lift your chin, forcing you to look at him. His expression was hopeful but his eyes gave way to the fear and confusion you were also feeling.

“There’s a spark.” He sounded so sure of himself with that statement that you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. “I’ve never felt that with anyone else.” His fingers trailed from your jaw to tangle in your hair, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “How have I never noticed this before...you before?” You didn’t have an answer to that, instead, you just shivered at the way he was touching you, like you were the most precious thing on the planet.

“Come ‘ere.” His request was merely a formality because he was already pulling you into his lap as he spoke it. With your hips now straddling his, you watched as his fingers traced patterns down your arms before he laced his fingers with yours. “Is this okay?” He asked after a moment, genuine concern for your comfort dripping from his words.

“Yes.” You agreed as your pulse slammed through your veins even harder than before.

“Shit.” Cale groaned after a moment, the sound of it sending heat to your core. “I always thought this was just some silly cliche teenage crush.” Your eyes went wide at his words and your body tensed slightly, though Cale picked up on both immediately. “You know, falling for your best friend who is too old and too beautiful to ever want anything to do with a kid. Not that you’re too old now...but a few years ago…” You nodded because you knew what he was trying to say. When he was 15, you were by all societal standards too old for him to even consider there being something there; but now...21 (almost 22) and 26 was a different ball game.

“For years I wished it was just a teenage crush…” You breathed.

“You….?” Cale didn’t need to verbalize the question for you to understand what he was asking and letting down your guard fully you nodded.

“I got really good at pretending.” You admitted. For a moment Cale’s eyes grazed over your lips as his hands moved to tug your hips against his. Then his eyes met yours, and seeing no sign of rejection, he tangled a hand in your hair before pulling your mouth onto his.

As you kissed him back, you slid your own hand around his neck, securing his body to your own. He tasted like the wine you’d been drinking all night and suddenly you just felt warm from head to toe. The kiss started gently but deepened until you were both left breathing heavily upon parting.

“Shit...can we do that again?” He mumbled, the look in his eyes sending another chill through your body in excitement. Kissing him again, you took the time to explore all of the feelings that just kissing him created. His hands ran up and down your back while yours locked onto his shoulders. Every so often, your hips would rock against his and he’d moan, ratcheting the kiss up another level. It wasn’t long before you felt him grow hard between your bodies and though you didn’t want to, you forced yourself to pull away.

“Killing me…” Cale grumbled, his head thrown against the back of the couch as he stared at you with blown pupils and swollen lips.

“You’ve been killing me all week with those wandering hands of yours.” You replied. “Not to mention dragging me to bed with you almost nude the other night.” Cale’s eyes went wide and you realized that he didn’t remember that at all. “What’s the last thing you remember at the bar the other night?” You asked, giggling softly.

“I remember watching Gravy walk over to you at the bar…” He mentioned, the flush on his cheeks growing rosier again.

“So you don’t remember dancing with me? The question you asked me?” Cale shook his head and you felt your own cheeks heat up.

“What did I say?” He sighed, fingers running back through his hair.

“You uh...you asked me if women like receiving oral because Sara never let you try…” You felt Cale’s groan through your entire body, the sound of it only serving to turn you on. “And then once I got you home, I sent you to get ready for bed while I got you water and pain meds and next thing I know you’re pulling me into bed with you and you wouldn’t let me go.” Cale’s head hit your shoulder as he mumbled out an apology.

“It was a little awkward but it’s okay.” You assured him, nails scraping over the back of his neck. “It was more awkward waking up to your morning wood.” You teased, giggling until suddenly you were flat on your back once more, Cale’s length still pressing against you.

“You mean this?” He growled softly, his hips rocking against yours. You gasped at the feeling and at how forward Cale was being. You didn’t know this side of him but you were quickly growing to like it. “This is all because of you. All you have to do is bite your lip or scrape your nails against the back of my neck and just like that I’m hard as a rock.” Cale’s lips dropped to press light kisses against your neck. “Fuck.” He breathed, clearly trying to settle his own body. “It’s never been this easy.” Pocketing that statement in the back of your mind for a later conversation, you eased his mouth back to yours, kissing him gently.

“Our timing kinda sucks you know…” You sighed, your thumbs brushing over his red cheeks.

“I know…” He agreed, climbing off of you.

“Can we just...I just...kiss me and we can worry about everything else later?” You pleaded. Cale’s mouth slanted over yours in compliance and you stayed that way, sharing lazy kisses, until long after the sun had set. As you dozed against him, Cale carried you to his bed, wrapping you in his arms. There wasn’t enough time to explore everything he wanted to with you, but he was going to make the most of what time you did have, whispered promises of summer spilling from his lips.

#cale makar #cale makar imagine #colorado avalanche #colorado avalanche imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #cavalanche #038

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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years

Photo

richboy!seonghwa (part 27)

word count: 4k

angst, fluff

(part 26) (series masterlist)

the next few weeks were spent getting back into the swing of school. the hallways that were buzzing those first few days back quickly fizzled into a panic-induced frenzy. because if you thought the winter coursework was a nightmare, the spring proved to be much worse.

“20 pages? 20 pages!” you exclaim in the library to mingi and yunho. “i don’t even know enough words to make an essay that long!”

“okay miss scholarship student,” yunho teases, smirking when you smack him playfully.

“maybe if you weren’t so distracted by boys and read a dictionary instead, you’d be able to write those 20 pages,” mingi says casually, his own face in a book as he chews on a carrot stick.

your mouth drops as yunho snorts into his hand, the satisfied smirk on the red head’s face quickly falling when you speak up. “you really wanna talk about being distracted by boys, mingi?”

that’s quick to shut him up, only the crunch of him chomping on the carrot stick and the sound of your own chuckle between the three of you. the squeak of the library door opening causes all of you to look, your neck craning back to see seonghwa walking through with two boys from your 4th period class.

your eyes meet and he only does his usual greeting to you, a simple head nod with the smallest of polite smiles on his face before he quickly looks away. you let out a sigh, turning around to see the two boys looking at you carefully.

“still not saying a word?”

“no,” you sigh.

because the only time you managed to have a conversation with him was by catching him after your class the third day back at school. he’d been avoiding you like the plague and you suppose you understood that maybe he felt embarrassed about his drunken night and confessions.

but you didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t talk to you or that you were weirded out. so that’s why you watched the clock and got your books away before the bell, springing up from your seat when it rang reminding you of the other times you had to plan out a way to catch him before he bolted out.

“seonghwa,” you said, voice quiet but strong as he stiffens upon hearing it. he turns to look at you and tries to smile but it falls flat, his eyes and entire body deflating slightly.

“hey, y/n.”

the bustling of other students surrounds you as their feet scuffle and backpacks zip close, only a few people straying behind to wait for their friends or talk to the teacher. you two hold a tense eye contact, both of you unsure and guarded but for very different reasons.

you don’t know if you’re making things harder for him while he doesn’t know if you’re completely perturbed by the shit he pulled last week. because he thinks if there’s two people more disturbed by it than him, it’s you and yeosang.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” is all you say. because before that night, you guys were kind of back to normal. smiling and laughing and actually talking to one another.

“and you know why,” he mumbles, leaning his arm on the desk as he looks up at you.

“seonghwa, it’s fine,” you tell him softly.

“it’s not,” he says, a humorless laugh leaving his mouth. “i don’t even remember what i said to you but i know it had to be-”

“nothing. it was nothing and nobody’s mad at you,” you tell him in an attempt to make him feel better.

“it wasn’t nothing, y/n,” he snaps, your eyes widening at his unusually harsh tone. and he knows you’re only trying to make him feel less embarrassed and ashamed but it only makes him feel worse.

you hold your breath as you see him exhale one of his own, running his hand through his hair before he shakes his head. “i’m sorry,” he grunts lowly, “i’m just..i shouldn’t have done that.”

“and i shouldn’t have done a lot of things, either,” you tell him quietly, “i know...that that was kind of my fault.”

his adams apple bobs as he swallows, not even realizing the room has emptied out and people are waiting outside. he can only feel the thick tension between you two, your desperate attempt to make him feel better and make things between you guys normal again while he’s desperate to run away and just forget everything.

but even after everything, he’s desperate to tell you nothing’s your fault. that you didn’t do anything wrong and there’s no fault to put on anyone. but then the more he thinks about it, the more he thinks maybe placing the blame on you would make you feel better.

ask why you kissed yeosang when you knew he liked you. ask why you kept it a secret for those weeks after even though you both knew it was wrong. ask why the hell you chose yeosang but still insist on talking to him.

but he knows that’s not in his nature. he couldn’t ever put the blame on you when he sees how much it’s hurt you, how much you’ve cried and gone back and forth with yourself. it’s why he says:

“nothing was your fault,” he tells you. “i got drunk and said shit i shouldn’t have.”

“then why have you been avoiding me?” you ask softly. “yeosang said you haven’t really talked to him either.”

seonghwa swallows down the lump in his throat, his resolve to stay polite and good quickly leaving him. he shoots up from his desk and slugs his bag over his shoulder. he knows you mean well but he’s still sensitive and upset and the way he’s feeling hounded by you right now is making his skin prickle.

“why are you attacking me, y/n?”

his voice is such a short snap that it makes you draw back in offense; you were just trying to talk and make him feel better.

“attacking you?” you ask, “i’m just...i’m just trying to tell you we’re okay. that nothing has to be...weird now.”

air blows out of his nose and he can’t bring himself to look at your face, his head turned back to look out in the hallway. he sees a few younger kids waiting for them to leave, like their able to sense the tense atmosphere and stay far away.

it’s why he turns back and forces himself to look in your eyes, already feeling like an asshole when he sees the hurt and confusion swirling in yours. but for once in his life, he can’t bring himself to care that much. you say you guys are okay, but that’s not the case. he knows it, you know it, everyone probably knows it.

but because he needs to get away before he becomes a person that he isn’t at his core, he nods his head at you.

“you’re right. we’re okay. nothing’s weird,” he says, his voice soft but not with the warm sincerity you’ve grown to know. “i gotta get to class, y/n. i’ll see you around.”

“seonghwa,” you breathe out. but he pushes past you and out of the classroom, the people waiting outside immediately filing in and taking their seats.

that was the last time you’d talk to him and it was almost a month ago. you’ll see each other and nod or wave or attempt to smile but everything feels so forced and fake that it makes your stomach sink.

“it’s like after the move night,” you tell the two boys looking at you curiously. “we were finally becoming friends again, kind of, and then that call changed everything.”

yunho and mingi look at you then toward seonghwa, who’s walking through the library and looking everywhere but their corner. their hearts hurt for him, knowing how hard these past months have been for everyone but especially him. and they know you mean well but expecting him to be friends with you is a little...unrealistic right now.

“he’ll be friends with you when he’s ready,” mingi tells you, gently but firmly the way he always does. “it’s not that easy, y/n. think about if you felt the way you do about yeosang but he rejected you. and then try to imagine if he kept insisting you guys could be friends.”

you let out a sigh, knowing he has a point and is absolutely correct. but it still hurts your heart because you do love seonghwa and his friendship and everything he has to offer as a person.

but if he needs you to wait, you’ll wait. because you don’t wanna lose your first friend here over something as silly as a drunken night.

“did seonghwa talk to you today?” yeosang asks as you plop down in his car, leaning over to place a peck on his cheek before throwing your bag onto the floor.

“nope,” you say, a frown on your face before you ask him the same.

“not really,” yeosang says, shaking his head as he holds his palm up for you to take. “just his usual safe bullshit.”

him and seonghwa are in a similar spot that they were in after the movie night fight, tip toeing around each other and using their other friends as buffers. it’s not as bad, since they’re able to be in the same room as each other, but it’s still not their usual friendship; it’s why yeosang’s decided that today he’s had enough. he misses his friend and they have to talk it out again.

“that’s why i’m going to his house later tonight,” he continues.

“oh?” you squeak, playing with his fingers as he starts to drive off.

“yeah, i don’t know if he wants me to like...talk to him about that night?” yeosang questions, wondering if his friend is thinking he’s harboring ill feelings about the whole thing. because he was at first, but it hadn’t had anything to do with seonghwa. it was his own insecurities and stupid brain concocting a bunch of a bullshit. “but i have to go over there. last time it went well and he definitely wanted to punch me in the face back then. so this time should be fine.”

you giggle at his comment, nodding your head before looking over at him again. “maybe let him get one in this time. for fun.”

his eyes roll toward you and your teeth dig into your bottom lip as you smile, your eyes lighting up when he says if that were the case, you’d be the one taking care of him afterward. you peck him on the lips and then do it again when you’re in front of your house, wishing him good luck and reminding him not to be an asshole later.

“i don’t know where you get this impression that i’m ever an asshole.”

his cute boyish chuckle rings through his open window after you slam the door at his comment, blushing and waving him off when he screams out the three words you’re still getting shy and giddy hearing.

yeosang waits until dinnertime to go over to seonghwa’s, texting the boy that he’s bringing chinese food and to have the door open for him. he doesn’t get an answer but knows the boy saw it when he gets there twenty minutes later, walking into the house and hearing the tv on in the living room.

he sees seonghwa laid out on the couch, passing right by the kitchen counter and missing the passport papers and boarding school pamphlet laid out for everyone to see. but it appears his house is empty again, everything spotless and untouched like a soul hasn’t lived here in months.

“hey,” is all he says, placing the food on the coffee table before plopping down on the couch.

“hey,” seonghwa says, eyeing the plastic bag before looking at the boy. “thanks for the food, though it didn’t seem like i had much of a choice.”

“you turning down a free meal now, you fuck?”

seonghwa smirks at the boy, fishing in the bag for a plastic fork before throwing one at yeosang. “don’t get shit on the couch. my mom will-” the words die in his throat when he realizes even if something did get on them, he could probably buy a new couch and have it shipped to his home before anyone noticed. “actually, it doesn’t even matter.”

“i won’t,” yeosang says, popping open his container before shoving a piece of sesame chicken in his mouth. the boys eat in a relative silence, a stray comment about the tv show and the sounds of their chewing filling the room.

“how long have your parents been gone?” yeosang finds himself asking, fishing around his bowl as he successfully avoids the pieces of broccoli.

“don’t know, maybe since november. hadn’t talked to them in a while.”

yeosang’s eyes widen, placing his sock-covered foot on the table and smirking when seonghwa smacks his foot down immediately. “hwa, what the fuck, you’ve been here alone for almost five months?”

the boy only shrugs in response, stuffing his mouth with a dumpling as he mumbles “i guess.”

“assholes,” yeosang grumbles, shaking his head before the last part of his sentence rings in his head. “but you’ve talked to them recently, then?”

the boy only answers with a short “yeah,” but yeosang doesn’t find anything about it suspicious. after all, they’re always a little short and cryptic when it comes to issues with their parents.

they finish eating as they watch tv, yeosang laying back on the couch with a grunt when his stomach feels like it’s about to explode. seonghwa wipes his mouth with a napkin before picking up the food, humming when the boy laid out thanks him quietly.

seonghwa dumps the food in the trash before eyeing the papers on the table, his gaze roaming to yeosang before back on the counter with a sigh. he licks at his lips questioningly, the short phone call with his father replaying in his mind.

“looks like we’ll be here for a few more months,” his dad told him firmly. it’s the first thing he said after saying hi, not a ‘how are you?’ or ‘have you been eating?’ just a pleasant reminder that he’ll be alone in his huge house for a bit longer.

“oh,” is all he managed to get out. and whether his dad heard the disappointment in his voice or not, the next sentence that left his mouth throughly shocked him.

“i know it’s your senior year but we figured we’d ask. would you wanna go to school here?”

his eyes widened at first, his immediate instinct to say absolutely not and enjoy the life of being a teenager whose parents are abroad in france. but he can’t even lie that the thought of getting away could be just what he needs right now. because his life hasn’t felt right for the past few months.

and he’s not only thinking about the whole thing with you and yeosang. he’s considering how much he’s hated being alone here, how he’s so sick of the empty house and not hearing from his parents for weeks. how he no longer wants to bother his friends with his weepy nonsense while they’re trying to enjoy their last moments of high school.

but does he really wanna do that? does he want to leave his friends and school and move to a country where he doesn’t know anybody?

“i-i...” he stutters, unsure of how exactly how to answer. but with his son not immediately blurting out the word ‘no,’ the man offers him time to think about it, informing him of the name and telling him to print out the brochure on the school’s website.

“it’s a great school, seonghwa. it’d be a good opportunity and my colleague’s son goes there. but we’re not gonna force you, it’s all up to you.”

that conversation was a little over a week ago and seonghwa had still been going back and forth with himself, every night going going over the pros and cons in his head. because while a part of him thinks it’d be good for him, another part of him isn’t sure.

but then when he pads his way back over to the living room and see’s yeosang sitting up with a serious expression, his brain pushes all of that out of his mind. he knew the boy had ulterior motives for coming over and now he thinks he’s about to get his ass handed to him.

“you know we gotta talk about it,” is all his friend says, placing his foot on his knee as the boy looks at him. “stop looking like i’m gonna punch you in the face.”

seonghwa lets out a snort, rolling his eyes as he plops back down on the couch. “you probably deserve to,” the boy mumbles.

there’s a few beats of silence before he hears, “you’re fucking joking, right?” seonghwa’s head snaps up immediately, raising an eyebrow as his friend just looks at him in disbelief. “you’re too good a guy, seonghwa, i swear to fuck.”

the boy only lets out a humorless laugh and shakes his head, looking away for a moment before back at his friend. “how do you figure? i called your girlfriend in a drunken fit and confessed all of my feelings to her.”

“she said you couldn’t remember anything,” he says. tone not accusing nor angry.

“i don’t,” seonghwa says, “but i know that’s what happened.”

yeosang looks at his friend and can see the inner turmoil he’s feeling, wishing the boy wasn’t always so hard on himself. he puts aside his own shit all the time to spare others and it’s something yeosang wishes he could do so easily.

“okay. so what?” yeosang says. seonghwa raises an eyebrow as he looks at his friend in confusion. did he not just hear him say he told his girlfriend he had feelings for her? not like he didn’t already know...but still.

“seonghwa, we all already fuckin’ knew that. we also know i was wrong in the first place for kissing her when i knew you liked her.” the boy pops his neck to the side, remembering the blow out fight they had in the basement that felt like it was, both somehow, yesterday and a year ago.

“but i know also you’d never do anything. you’re my best friend and you’re just too fucking good.”

seonghwa looks at yeosang and swallows the lump in his throat, shaking his head at the boy. he doesn’t feel like he’s good, he doesn’t like that he put you in that position in the first place and he doesn’t like that he couldn’t put his feelings aside for his best friend’s girlfriend, no matter how sneakily you guys started.

“you’re also a fuckin’ pussy so...”

seonghwa rolls his eyes and kicks the boy roughly in the leg, smirking in satisfaction when yeosang lets out a pained groan. “you’re such a dick.” and just like a dick would, he only laughs before his face turns serious again.

“i’m serious, though, seonghwa,” yeosang says, “neither of us are mad or uncomfortable or any of that bullshit. we did have a fight that night but it’s because i was being a bitch.”

seonghwa raises his eyebrow at that tid bit of information; he didn’t know about that.

“she cares about you seonghwa. probably more than she’ll ever admit to me,” he continues to say. “because she was going no matter what i said. she didn’t want you being there drunk and upset.”

and even though seonghwa knows you’d do that for anyone, it does make him happy to know you were gonna be there for him no matter what. because you’re his friend and even if that’s all you see him as, it’s still someone in his life that’s there for him. that should make him want to stay and finish the year out where he grew up.

but...

“i’m going to france,” he blurts out.

a dead silence hangs between the two boys, yeosang staring at his friend in immense confusion; that was the last thing he was expecting him to say. what does he mean he’s going to france?

“what?”

and it’s like saying it aloud has finally made the decision final. he thinks he even knew that’s what he wanted, what he needed, the second he got off the phone with his dad that night. that even though he’s almost an adult, he needs his parents around for guidance and support and can’t be in this house for days at a time with just his own thoughts.

“my dad told me about a school there,” he finally tells the boy, now wishing he would’ve told him sooner by the look on yeosang’s face. “said it’s a good opportunity and asked if i wanted to go.”

“and you said yes?” yeosang asks in bewilderment, trying to keep his composure and voice calm. but what the fuck, “it’s our senior year, seonghwa. we’re supposed to be graduating in like four months.”

“yeah and no one would even be here to see me graduate, yeosang. they’re gonna be there for god knows how much longer.”

“so?” yeosang asks, knowing he might have a tiny point but not wanting to see it. because his brain can’t stop connecting all of this to the drama that’s been happening this whole entire school year and now he thinks he might be feeling the crushing guilt you’ve been experiencing.

seonghwa lets out a small chuckle at his friend, shaking his head as he looks over the boy. “so i want my parents to see me graduate. and if that means going to france, then that’s that.”

“thats bullshit, seonghwa, and you know it,” he says. “this is because of y/n, isn’t it?”

seonghwa swallows the obvious elephant in the room. because, yeah okay, he can totally see why he thinks that. he’ll even admit it may be playing a role in this. but even without all the drama, he might’ve considered this opportunity.

“no,” seonghwa says firmly.

“don’t fucking lie to me,” yeosang spits back immediately.

seonghwa rolls his eyes at the boy’s temper, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek before he throws his arm’s up in defense. “okay, it might have a little bit to do with-”

“fuck, seonghwa,” yeosang groans, getting up from his spot on the couch and pacing around the large living room. he allows his friend the time to process this, watching silently as the boy walks around the room and goes through the motions of allowing the information to sink in.

“if your feelings for her were this strong, you should’ve-”

“it’s not only because of you and her, yeosang, don’t think so highly of yourselves,” seonghwa says, surprising yeosang and causing a smirk to quirk at his lips despite the situation. it even causes him to settle ever so slightly, still feeling a pit in his stomach about his best friend really considering leaving just months before their senior year is over.

he lets out a sigh looking at the boy, not seeing an ounce of hatred or envy in his eyes. just an open honesty that causes yeosang to plop back down on the couch.

“so, paris?” he finally asks as he looks at seonghwa.

“i...i think so, yeah,” the boy responds, smiling sadly at his friend. he never would’ve thought in a million years that they’d be having this conversation. that seonghwa would actually take his father’s offer and allow him to ship him off to a fancy, school in europe.

“and it’s really not because of...everything?” yeosang asks, still unconvinced but trying for his friend, and maybe even himself, to believe the alternative.

“no,” seonghwa says, “i’ve been feeling...lonely, i guess, in this house. they weren’t even around much but when they were it was good, ya know.” yeosang only gives him a sad smile back, shaking his head as he feels his heart sink.

“no, i don’t.”

seonghwa looks down and wants to laugh at the situation. because there’s nothing more pathetic and cliche than sad kids with mansions and black cards. but if seonghwa has parents who are better than most wealthy ones and yeosang has a girlfriend who he’s incredibly lucky to have, then he thinks both of them are gonna be okay.

“not to take one from your book and be a pussy, but i think i’m gonna miss you.”

seonghwa throws his head back in laughter and it’s the first real laugh he thinks he’s had in weeks. but it’s always been like that with yeosang, a balance of teasing and serious that naturally comes after years of friendship.

“well i’ll be here for another week. cry then you little bitch.”

and now it’s yeosang’s turn to kick seonghwa in the leg, both the boys snorting in laughter as they try to contain their smiles. it feels good for them to be back to normal, turning their attention back to the show before suggesting to put on one of their favorite movies.

and with something unspoken in the air, yeosang and seonghwa crash on the couch that night because neither of them would ever utter the term slumber party to one another.

(part 28)

#italic flashbacks kept getting messed up #srry!#seonghwa #yeosang #seonghwa angst #yeosang angst #yeosang fluff #ateez #ateez angst #ateez fluff

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fizzingwizard · 4 years

Text

Episode 26 already! I can’t believe we’re about halfway through... This episode seems to be end point for the current “arc,” or “mini arc,” maybe?? I’m not sorry to see it go but overall, this episode was pretty eh... Not bad, just kind of... I don’t get why we needed it. A fair few REALLY important things do happen! Those are awesome! I just think we could have got them in a more... interesting... way? xD Like, I didn’t hate watching it or anything, it just kind of felt like, with all the important stuff going on, shouldn’t there be more... oomph? (And I know we had a ton of oomph lately, it’s about time to wind down for a while... but then why pick now to spring certain things on us... anyway...)

Pic of the day!

generic group shot that captures each Chosen’s individual fighting spirit!

Koushirou: *intent focus*

Sora: *look of concern*

Jou: *I must have learned something in school that will be useful here*

Mimi: *Jou thinking always makes me nervous and a little grossed out*

Recap below!

So last week I’m pretty sure I vowed to violently murder someone in a back alley (or something like that) if we didn’t get to see the gang eat some FOOD this episode.

Well, looks like y’all are safe from me for now. Though I gotta say, I’m mildly concerned that they are eating Digi-eggs. Don’t those look like Digi-eggs? Other than the random very normal looking grapes...

Thank HEAVENS they are taking a BREAK.

Taichi uses his telescope to remark that Cloud Continent is not only a continent in the clouds, but it sure looks small from down here. Leomon admits he’s not really sure what’s going on anymore either xD

Leomon’s mainly weirded out by Patamon, who... I suppose just doesn’t fit the bill for what he expected the holy Digimon to be like :P lol

Ok so quick aside... I’m honestly kinda peeved that we’re still with Leomon’s silly group of clowns. I know that sounds harsh! And I love Leomon! But his army is... uh... well, he definitely made sure he’d be the coolest one around at all times xD It makes sense that he’d be hanging around because after all, getting to the Holy Digimon was one of his goals as well, but honestly he and his team just feel like replacement back-up for the other Chosen Children who are in the real world atm. AND FIZZ IS NOT INTO THAT. At this point I really do NOT understand why the kids had to split up and send some to the real world at all. I suppose it may be explained in the future but I also won’t be surprised if the answer is “It’s exactly like you saw, Devimon tried to separate them.” I would much rather have had the whole team together. I mean, if this was an excuse for Taichi and Yamato to get close... it really didn’t feel like that. At least not to a point where they couldn’t have gotten with the others around too.

Anyway, break time’s over, because there’s an actual monster fight going on. It must be cool to watch - the way Ebidramon shakes Seadramon reminds me of the T-rex vs stegosaurus battle in Fantasia xD But then Seadramon has the last laugh and EATS EBIDRAMON’S DATA, enabling it to evolve to WarSeadramon. That must have been an epic meal

Meanwhile in the real world, important things are happening, Koushirou’s using lots of Big Words with Kanji and Mimi is happy to get back at Jou for one-upping her last episode by correctly recognizing the roman letters this time. They are still sitting on the same bench where they’ve been for SIX episodes now. My butt hurts just thinking about it.

Patamon is very informative.

Patamon: We’re all gonna die!!

Thank you Patamon. You are so cute.

WarSeadramon decides Takeru and Patamon look like a yummy dessert after his meal, so he attacks them, only to be feigned off by our heroes. WarSeadramon gets pissy and says “Two on one is no fair! I have friends too!” and calls MetalSeadramon to join him. Apparently, MetalSeadramon can move on land :O This was one of the freakier things, I was actually like GAAH

Taichi tells Yamato to take Takeru somewhere safe. Since he is clearly very tasty to Seadramons. Yamato doesn’t bother arguing xD

Takeru: Hey! I’m your brother not a bag of beans!

However they are both cut off! Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

Meanwhile, Koushirou is literally a bad ass. He’s managing to reroute the rogue ships whose GPS have gone haywire by sending a signal from a second satellite, which the ships then pass on to the other ships.

Thus helping them get back on course and not collide with each other.

I mean this kid is in fourth grade. HOW HAS HE NOT BEEN SNAPPED UP BY THE GOVERNMENT AND TRAINED INTO SOME CHILD SUPER SPY???

no seriously... I’d actually kind of LOVE it if that were a thing x’D Like the government goes to Koushirou’s house and tries to get him to come but his parents are like “Um no he is a child and he needs a childhood” and protect him :’< When will this show realize WE ALL LOVE KOUSHIROU

Mimi: HURRY UP!!!!!!!!!!

Mimi: H... Hikari... you were still here...? Ehehe.... um... *whisper* hurry up!!

so yeah Hikari is still here! Standing! Staring! Really creepy! I get that the others are very distracted atm but it seems like someone should be like “do you need help? are you lost? do you need a doctor since you seem to have gone catatonic??” Only Koushirou is actively doing anything, I think someone could be spared to at least let her sit on their lap!

Back in the digital world, Garurumon is so distracted by the fight happening in front of him that he fails to notice the attack from behind, and Professional Self-Sacrificing Idiots Taichi and Greymon save the day.

They predictably fall off the cliff wheeeeeeeeeeee

It’s raining men, hallelujah

Under water, Greymon gets his assed kicked until Taichi manages to swim to him

which seems to give him renewed focus, I suppose, and he’s able to get away from the two Seadramon pals and get some air.

However they almost immediately drag him back down. You would think Greymon would be REALLY bad in a water battle and at least need to evolve to be any use (especially given that both evolved Seadramons are perfect levels), but both Greymon and Garurumon never evolve this episode, so I think we’re supposed to assume that even after eating they’re just not recovered enough for that yet. GOOD

Yeah but here’s what confuses me. Yamato does not do anything to help. Well, I shouldn’t say anything - whenever an enemy comes out of the water, he and Leomon’s team attack it from afar. But I mean, Taichi is in the water, being attacked by two Digimon who are both a level higher. WHY DOESN’T YAMATO GO IN TO HELP?!?!

We can’t even give him the excuse of needing to protect Takeru because 1) Takeru has Leomon’s entire team to protect him and 2) Takeru is fighting!!!!!!

I’m sorry but Yamato should be in the water. This is just crappy writing. He’s shouted “Taichi!” three times in the exact same way this episode and has very few other lines, so I actually sort of suspect that Namikawa Daisuke might not have been available to voice him this episode?? Maybe? So they just couldn’t give him too much to do for that reason. That’s totally speculation, I just don’t understand why Yamato does so little here.

Back with Koushirou, his plan has worked and all the ships are successfully changing course woot

Aww looks like a Christmas tree

The way Garudamon carries Zudomon is A++

The partners inform them that the Zurumon are on the move...

Jou theorizes that they’re off to gobble up more data somewhere else. Mimi’s like “ew?”

They decide they really need to get back to the digital world now. They’re finally worried about Yamato and Taichi and figure they’ll be more useful over there. I really can’t think of a reason why Koushirou could not have saved all these ships from the digital world so YEAH HARD AGREE. What even was this interlude?? Show us how cool a hacker Koushirou is?? We already KNEW that, he can do it from the digital world too, and watching the kids sit on a bench for six episodes was NO GOOD. Grrr. At least I needed them to do something really cool to justify all this but... nope! Can’t say it was necessary for Taichi and Yamato’s sake either!

There is one awesome thing that comes out of the separation...

Hikari: Oh you want to go back to the digital world? Why didn’t you say so?

ZIP!

Aaaaand they’re gone! Hikari included! :O

I kind of guessed this was gonna happen when Hikari first showed up, but I also sort of thought, it seems so early to have her join... I know this season is Doing It Different but we JUST got Takeru, I figured we’d spend more time on his story first. Also figured the lead in to Hikari joining would be more... Idk... this was just kind of anticlimactic, y’know? But whatev.

Now the only thing is... there’s no reason they had to go back to the human world for this. Hikari could have just come on her own. “It’s calling,” she says. Well, it could have called her regardless. So we really didn’t need this for Hikari’s sake. Bleh.

Curly

Ok so injuries really are a thing now. I’m down. We don’t get blood but we get to see lots of sparkly data leakage.

Still best boy, warts and all

What I DO really like... that i think we saw this ep as well as the episode before last in particular, is how important the kids are to their partners this season. Greymon loses it when Taichi’s KO’d in the Devimon battle, and this time, when they were separated under water Greymon started to panic until Taichi arrived. That alone seemed to restore his confidence. And even though he can’t evolve further, Taichi’s still able to give him a power boost. That was the one thing in 99 Adventure - the idea that the partners were connected with their human partners and needed their help to reach the next level was always fun, but mostly left the kids just running around unhelpfully much of the time. Tamers added on to it with the card game boosts (which were just to sell toys to kids BUT I still thought was cool lol). And then Frontier just did away with the partners all together and made the kids the monsters which I did NOT like personally. (YMMV although that one ep where Takuya has a crisis and becomes Flamemon was a cool effect.) This season has found a good balance, I think, between keeping the kids involved and preventing them from being too involved, if that makes sense. Of course it still means they’ve got suction cups on their shoes and can hold their breath underwater for unusual lengths of time...

Yay we won!!

... Never mind, now there are four of them xP

(but really, did he think he’d beaten two Perfect levels just like that? A level below, under water, and two-on-one? Taichiiii)

Yamato’s still just shouting Taichi’s name like the girl in Forrest Gump. “Run Taichi run!”

Then... Taichi hears a lovelier voice than Yamato’s!

Taichi: Zudomon!! Why do you sound like my little sister?

Bang bang Zudomon’s silver hammer came down upon his head

Bang bang Zudomon’s silver hammer made sure that he was dead

The whole gang is back!!! YAAAAAYYYY the one reason to love this episode!

So nice to see someone other than Greymon and Garurumon be a badass xP

And then this!! Anticlimactic though it was, I’m really excited to have Hikari on the team. She’s joining about halfway through which is kinda similar to how it was in 99 Adventure, but 99 Adventure had a much better lead in... however this season still has lots of storytelling to do.

Taichi is pretty amazed but not freaked, at least not yet.

Hikari’s just like “I was called here” and yes she’s as freaky as ever. If anything she’s even more freaky. I’m down as long as she gets a bit of personality beyond “mysterious” and “adores her brother”

I mean Takeru’s had plenty of opportunities to be a baby BAMF so far, so Hikari deserves some too. I wonder how long she’ll go without a partner?

Next week! It’s our first Takari shot!

Also... ooooohh??

The group will go to a new continent. Exciting exciting. Though I ragged on this episode, I’m still overall enjoying this season. But yeah I’m so GLAD the team is back together and unless something happens to change my mind, I def think they never should have been separated from the beginning. Or at least it should have been a much shorter separation. Anyway they’re together again so fingers crossed for more good stuff to come.

#digimon adventure:#digimon adventure reboot #digimon adventure 2020 #digimon #digi spoilers #fizz watches digimon 2020

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capseycartwright · 3 years

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every year, i write myself a letter the night before my birthday, and i’ve posted most of them here - for posterity, i guess. and this year is no different - so here is my ode to 25.

I’ve written one of these reflections every year, since I was 18 – and what started as a way for me to come to terms with my impending adulthood, has become one of the steadiest traditions of my life. In eight years of writing these posts, I’ve reflected on it all – put pen to paper and immortalised how it felt to be 18, 24, and all the ages that have become between. I finished university a month before my 22nd birthday – I finished my masters two weeks before my 23rd birthday. Every year, I write one of these posts and I wonder how life could possibly change any more in the year to come, and every year, July rolls around, and I reread reflections of years gone by and I realise that so much has changed and I’ve changed and it dawns on me what a constantly changing, evolving, wonderful thing life really is.

Tomorrow, I turn 26. Somehow, that sounds so much older than 25. Not just a year older – no, it sounds so much more grown up than that. I was thinking, recently, about how my younger self would have imagined life at 26. I think she probably would have imagined a house and a husband, to start – and my life is far from that. The things I believed would be a measure of success when I was an adult are so vastly different to the things I believe to be a measure of success now, and more than anything, it’s kind of just interesting to think about.

My mum sent me some photos last week – photos of me as a toddler, as a child. I don’t blame her for feeling nostalgic, this time of year – I always do – and I think she’s probably more nostalgic than ever this year, because her baby is turning 26. The leap from being in your mid-twenties to being in your (almost) late twenties feels bigger, somehow, and when I say I am the baby, I really am. My brothers are the better part of a decade older than me; I have cousins who are older than my friends' parents, and my cousins' children are closer in age to me than most of my cousins are. It’s as if my transition to the middle of my twenties sort of signifies the end of an era, for my family. I was the last to be born, the last to go to school, the last to graduate from university, the last of this generation of my family to turn 26.

There’s a sadness that comes with being the last of anything – your family savours the moments, big and small, because you’re the last person they’ll experience it with. Sure, there are more grandchildren and grand-nephews and grand-nieces than I can count in my family, but I was the last of a particular generation, of my parents' kids. There’s a sadness that comes with being the last – but more than anything, there is more love than I have ever known what to do with. You never stop being perceived as the baby, and I used to think that would annoy me, but as I get older, I think it’s probably one of the greatest privileges of my life – it’s as if there has always been a little more love, directed my way, because they know I’m the last and I think it’s only human for us to want to savour something before it's gone forever.

My mum sent me some photos of me as a child, this week – and I can’t stop thinking about them, about the little girl I used to be. I think I was the happiest child – I only ever remember being happy. I only remember holidays and road trips and playgrounds and mountains and beaches and a mum and a dad who promised me faithfully from the moment I could understand it that I could do anything I wanted to. Swimming lessons, a decade of Irish dancing I quit in favour of art classes (something I was terrible at but my parents still happily paid for me to do for years). There was a brief stint with tennis, and then hockey – sailing, and kayaking, and windsurfing, too, though I clicked with those far more than I ever did with hockey. The point of all that is, I only ever remember thinking in how’s, and not in if’s. It was never if I could do something – no, it was how can I make this happen? It's something that’s followed me into adulthood, though I’m not sure my parents realised just how far their little girl with big dreams would take that mentality and run with it.

I never learned how to take no for an answer. Why would I? There’s always a solution, always a way around it. What’s meant for you, won’t pass you by – that’s what my mum and dad always say, and they raised me to believe the world is meant for me, I just need to go out and take it.

I say all this because I look at photos of that little girl, and I think back on what being 25 has been like, and I can’t help but think about all the dreams I achieved this year, dreams that little girl I used to be couldn’t have begun to imagine.

25 was the year I got offered a permanent contract in a job I love. I have always been a very focused person – possibly to a fault, as I tend to get quite single-minded. But that single-minded focus is what got me here. When I decided this was the career path I wanted, I knuckled down and I did everything I could to get here – and it’s not an easy world to make it in, the one I find myself in, but I never stopped working for it. I worked a crappy internship that barely paid me enough to pay rent and eat – and then I worked two jobs at once for a year and loved every single second of the insanity. Two jobs just meant twice the opportunity to learn, right? I worked – and worked, and worked, until they created a job just for me and handed me a permanent contract and for the first time in my adult life I had stability and certainty and the promise of being able to do this job for as long as I want to. It’s a weird feeling, to know that the decision to leave this job will ultimately be mine, now - not one brought about by the end of a short term contract. I can’t imagine ever wanting to leave this job, though I’m sure the day will come - but for now, I have a job I love, and one that gives me purpose and joy and fulfillment and makes me excited to get out of bed, every day.

25 was about acceptance, I think. Accepting that the person I used to be, isn’t the person I am anymore - I’ve been changed, by some of the worst and best moments of my life. At the very least - how could I live through a global pandemic and not be changed by it?

25 was about accepting that this is where I want to be, right now. Living abroad is a trip - no matter where you are, you’re always homesick for somewhere else, and so often, I sit and wonder if I made the right decision, or if I should just go home. 25 has been accepting I did make the right decision - for 23 year old me, when she first decided to move back here, and for 25 year old me, who’s thrived in a city where I’ve had to build a life for myself, no family, no friends, just a dream I felt like I owed it to myself to pursue - whether it worked out or not. I’m just one of the lucky ones who had it work out.

25 has been about accepting some things just can’t be fixed. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to admit - to myself, at first, and then out-loud, to friends and family. Some things are broken - and broken deliberately - and there’s no way to fix it, not when not everyone involved is even willing to fix it. The rest of my life is going to look different, to how I might have imagined it being when I was the little girl in those photos my mum sent me last week - but finally, I think I’m okay with that, because if 25 has proved anything to me, it’s that my life has never, and will never, be short of deep, enriching relationships that lift me far beyond who I could have imagined myself being as a child. I think I’m one of the luckiest people on the planet - I have a family that is beyond words. I could write a novel about my parents, and it would still never be enough to truly describe the kind of good, wonderful, kind, caring, brilliant, fantastic people they are. Nothing I could ever say will ever fully describe how much I love them, how grateful I am for them - and how lucky am I, to be able to say I was raised, and am still nurtured by, the greatest example of love and marriage and partnership I will ever know?

I have aunts and uncles and more cousins than I can count - people I see often, and people I only ever see every few years, but all people who have always loved me unconditionally. And friends - oh man, my friends. Every year proves it to me more and more, but I have the most incredible friends. My mum reminds me of it, every so often - of how good my friends are, and God, they are the best people I have ever known. Friends, who hear about problems unfolding in my life and help me approach the solution in the most logical way. Friends, who talk me down from every panic and worry, no matter how silly. Friends, who literally hold my hand when I have to deal with something I’ve been dreading. Friends, who love me - not for who I used to be, when they first met me, but for who I am now, aged 25, grown and shaped by the life I have lived so far.

Adulthood has been a process of realising life is never really perfect - but it’s full of beautiful moments that make every hard moment worth it. I could talk about so many beautiful moments this year - my niece falling asleep on me, the first time I got to meet her. My nephew, letting me carry him around, even though he’s way too big for it, now. Seeing my parents at the train station after so many very long months away from them. Cards, coming in the post - to say happy Easter, I love you, just to say hello. Texts, from friends I haven’t been able to see because the borders are still shut and it’s not safe, but who still say hi, good morning, I saw this and I thought of you. The moment I got my first dose of the vaccine and the nurse looked at my Irish passport and smiled, and said she was glad to be able to help me take another step toward going home. The moment my boss called me to say that she had gotten approval to offer me a permanent contract - the moment she told the rest of our team, and I realised just how appreciated I was. Slow Sunday brunches, and those first drinks when the bars reopened after lockdown. Wintery walks, and warm coffees, and doing everything we could to keep each other sane as we lived through the weirdest year of our lives. Good coffee - good food. A hot bath and a face-mask. FaceTiming a friend I haven’t seen in over a year because of the pandemic just to eat dinner together. Voice notes, describing the most mad and mundane things and making it so distance has never felt like it mattered.

Writing.

Writing has always been a funny thing, for me. For so long, I had been so convinced that I needed to be a writer, or my life wouldn’t be truly fulfilled - and then when I realised I didn’t want to do that, I was lost. I wasn’t sure how to find my love for words again, and for years, on and off, I have fallen in and out of love with the hobby that has kept me sane during the craziest moments of my life. This year, 25, has been the first year in a long time that I feel like I have fallen completely, utterly, happily in love with writing - and maybe it's because I finally started writing for myself, and not for other people, and maybe that shows - but whatever it is, I am deeply, immensely, massively grateful to have found my love for writing again. 25 has been the year that I open a blank word document and feel inspired by the prospect, rather than crippled with anxiety.

25 has been about confidence, I think. Being confident in who I am - in my job, in my abilities. As much as I am proud of how much I have achieved in my career in a relatively short few years, it came complete with a side serving of imposter syndrome - and so 25 has been realising that I have achieved everything I have because I am really goddamn good at my job; and 25 has been realising saying that isn’t boasting, it’s the result of 5 years of university and even more years of working my ass off to get to where I am. I wish I could say I’m ending my 25th year as a completely confident person - I’m not. In some aspects of my life, maybe, but in others, no - and rather than dive down the rabbit hole that is my magnificent wealth of body image issues, I’ll just say that 25 has begun a process of healing - of appreciating my body, for how it has brought me this far, in life, of how resilient it is. I can figure out the rest later.

My early twenties were the greatest adventure of my life - university, and studying abroad, and trips to new places every weekend, and no responsibilities beyond grades and making memories. It feels a bit like 25 has marked the end of a transitional period of my life - moving from the person who thrived at university and never imagined how life might be after, to becoming the person those years at university helped me to become. In a year, I will have been out of university longer than I was ever in it - and it’s strange, to voice that out-loud. When you’re in it, it feels like it’s always going to be the biggest part of your life, but it goes by, quicker than you realise. And that’s okay - really. Because growing up isn’t anywhere near as painful as I used to believe it would be. There’s a calmness, a certainty, a comfort, that comes with getting older, that I’m definitely ready for now.

25 hasn’t been an earth-shattering year. So many of these have been written at wild, transitional moments of my life - the end of university, the end of my masters, the end of school, the end of my first six months living abroad. This year isn’t like that. This year, I turn 26 on a Wednesday - and I’m working, which is fine, because I’m getting to do a course I’m really excited about, and I’ll celebrate with some Korean food, and great company, and on Thursday, 26 will continue in much the same way as 25 did - in a job I love, surrounded by colleagues and friends and family who have always made sure I know I have never, and will never, be alone. And sure, I hope that this pandemic ends soon, and I can go back to rushing across Europe on every cheap flight and train I can get my hands on to discover the world with the friends I have been lucky to share my life with - but if 26 continues in much the same way 25 did, I think that’ll be just fine, too.

This has been 25 - and tomorrow, I turn 26, and that age ticking upward doesn’t scare me the way it used to - not when life is more than I could have ever imagined it being - and that’s coming from a little girl who had dreams bigger than she could comprehend.

#its very long as per usual but writing these every year is my favourite form of therapy #in which i ramble #long post for ts #my writing tag #the birthday posts

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nerianasims · 4 years

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Billboard #1s 1987

Under the cut.

"Shake You Down" -- Gregory Abbot -- January 17, 1987

The only reason I've heard this song before is because of Todd in the Shadows' worst hit songs of 1987 video. I do not entirely agree with his list, but this one definitely belongs on it. I don't think the song's writer knew what "shake down" actually means. This is supposed to be a love song about how the narrator is missing the woman he's staring at (um) and wants her back so he can "shake you down." It sounds creepy, and yet the music is so painfully bland it can't even rise to that. It's no surprise it hasn't gotten radio play since it was a hit. That it was a hit in the first place is mystifying.

"At This Moment" -- Billy Vera and the Beaters -- January 24, 1987

A rather good blue-eyed soul song. The narrator is singing to a woman who just told him she's in love with someone else. It sounds like she's acting scared, and he's upset by that as well as by her leaving him, because "I'd never, never hurt you." And he'd give up twenty years of his life if she'd stay. There are some massive blues horns, Billy Vera sings it well, and it's cathartically sad. The song became a hit years after it was first released because it was on Family Ties. Billy Vera keeps on chugging, and he's also a music historian. He won a Grammy for "best album notes" in 2013 for a Ray Charles boxed set. I had no idea that was an award category.

"Open Your Heart" -- Madonna -- February 7, 1987

Watch out. When Madonna says "I've had to work much harder than this/ For something I want, don't try to resist me," it's absolutely believable. She worked incredibly hard to get where she was. I guess the song is stalkery when looked at from a certain angle, but that is not the angle I choose. I hear it as I did as a teenager -- as something aspirational, because I got huge and powerful crushes on guys (mostly friends) and then did absolutely nothing about it, both because I had no idea what to do and because I didn't actually want a boyfriend yet. (That changed in college.) Musically and lyrically, the song is Motown mixed with disco and updated, as most of the True Blue album is. It's a lot of fun.

"Livin on a Prayer" -- Bon Jovi -- February 14, 1987

I wonder what I'd feel about this song if it hadn't been overplayed for years and years. I don't think it was/is played more than "You Give Love a Bad Name," but I have never been sick of "You Give Love a Bad Name." This one... meh. I don't want to run screaming from it, even after hearing it a zillion times, so that's something. It's about a working class couple who's having serious money troubles. It's just a snapshot of this difficult time in their life, and how they're holding on to each other. I'd be happier with it if the story were rounded out, and especially if they got a happy ending. The music is fine, acceptable rock, but nothing special.

"Jacob's Ladder" -- Huey Lewis and the News -- March 14, 1987

This song is a "fuck off" to televangelists, though if you only listen to the chorus you might not know that. I always appreciate anyone telling televangelists to fuck off. I could use it being nastier, but you can't expect real nastiness from Huey Lewis and the News. Genesis would go there a few years later, and I like that song much better. "Jesus He Knows Me" is also more interesting musically. This one's fine, but not memorable.

"Lean on Me" -- Club Nouveau -- March 21, 1987

The original "Lean on Me" is one of the great songs. This version is annoying. A go-go beat and a faux-reggae break. The original of this song is deeply emotional and touching. This one is not even a good dance song. I liked it when I was a kid, but that makes sense, because it's a very kiddie song.

"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" -- Starship -- April 4, 1987

This song is actually not bad. It's pretty good, even. It's a very slick synth-heavy drum machine love song, but I really like the way Grace Slick sings on it. Mickey Thomas, well, he hits the notes. Could be worse. If they'd gotten a male vocalist who could match Grace Slick on his part of the duet, this might be a great song. They didn't, so it's just pretty good.

"I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" -- Aretha Franklin and George Michael -- April 18, 1987

George Michael is an excellent singer, but he's no Aretha Franklin. But who is? He holds his own pretty well here. As both Franklin and Michael know how to push emotion in a song, they end up with good chemistry on this one. Unfortunately, though the vocal performances are great, the music itself is dull. The melody slips out of my head while I'm listening to it.

"(I Just) Died in Your Arms" -- Cutting Crew -- May 2, 1987

*silent scream of anguish* I wish this song would slip out of my head permanently. It is my personal most overplayed song in existence. My hate for it could end worlds. I have no idea about what qualities it might or might not have. I just want it to shut the fuck up.

"With or Without You" -- U2 -- May 16, 1987

I don't think U2 actually counts as "alternative," but the alternative stations were the only ones who played them where I lived. The song is extremely structured and carefully designed, but it feels somehow raw at the same time. It doesn't have the layers upon layers of synth that most of the songs on the charts did. It has a beautiful melody. The lyrics are thoughtful, heartrending poetry. I'm not sure what I thought of the song at the time -- I associate it more with a couple years later, when my family moved to a town near a huge state college and I started listening to the college station. It hasn't aged a bit. An amazing song.

Also Bono’s personality is somewhat insufferable if one is silly enough to look into it. But his voice is incredibly hot, and I very much appreciate that.

"You Keep Me Hangin' On" -- Kim Wilde -- June 6, 1987

Back to the layers of synth. This is the Supremes song updated as a 1987 dance song, and it sounds exactly like you'd think it would. It's okay.

"Always" -- Atlantic Starr -- June 13, 1987

This is the kind of song I made gagging noises about at age 10, when it came out. I'm tempted to now too. It's like corn syrup, both lyrically and musically. It sounds like it was written for weddings.

"Head to Toe" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- June 20, 1987

I liked this song a lot when I was a kid. I had a lot of fun dancing to it. Now I hear Lisa Lisa's vocals in the opening and chorus, which are kind of like a police siren, and want to cover my ears. I can't listen to it without getting a headache nowadays.

"I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" -- Whitney Houston -- June 27, 1987

This is a Whitney Houston song I like. She doesn't oversing as much as usual -- she mostly, though not entirely, saves it for the chorus. She wants to dance with "a man who'll take a chance/ On a love that burns hot enough to last." It's a simple dance song that speaks to real emotion.

"Alone" -- Heart -- July 11, 1987

In the 80s, Heart did hair metal ballads. All the men who did the same were copying them. Including the hair itself. Heart did it first, and Heart did it best. So lyrically, why can't she get this person alone? Not even on the phone? Whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is the emotion, the music, and that this is a great song to sing along with.

"Shakedown" -- Bob Seger -- August 1, 1987

Unlike Gregory Abbott, Bob Seger knew what "shakedown" meant. The song was written for Beverly Hills Cop II, and that's exactly what it sounds like. It's a good movie song, but doesn't transcend that box. Still fun though.

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" -- U2 -- August 8, 1987

This is a spiritual pop song. But it's very far from the sanitized happy clappy Christian-brand pop that's so foul. It's about a search for transcendence that's ongoing -- eternal, really. And while this song is explicitly Christian, it speaks to a universality that doesn't require religion of any kind. Also it's beautiful musically.

"Who's That Girl" -- Madonna -- August 22, 1987

I'm surprised this was a number one. Or even charted in the top 20. I'd have predicted #46 or something. The movie it was written for was terrible, and Madonna was particularly terrible in it. Like, aggressively terrible, when in most movies she was just kinda blah. I've never liked the song. I don't hate it either; I don't feel much of anything about it. That is very strange for a Madonna song -- "American Life" is awful, but it makes me feel things. (Mostly embarrassment.) But "Who's That Girl" is bland, which a Madonna song should never be.

"La Bamba" -- Los Lobos -- August 29, 1987

This is a nearly faithful rendition of Richie Valens' original hit, which was based on a Veracruz folk song. But where are the castanets? The original is better, a true classic, but this one isn't bad. It's simply... unnecessary. It was done for a movie about Valens, so I guess it was sort of "necessary" in that way. Skip this one and go for Valens' version.

"I Just Can't Stop Loving You" -- Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett -- September 19, 1987

This is from the Bad album, which I did not like in 1987 and continue to not like now. I find this song extraordinarily dull. Whitney Houston and Barbra Streisand both turned it down, and I'm not surprised. This song weirdly makes me think of The Love Boat. Like it belongs in a television series. It's legitimately bad. When do we get to Janet again?

"Didn't We Almost Have It All" -- Whitney Houston -- September 26, 1987

I think the narrator in this song is trying to get an old flame back. It's a pretty melody, and the lyrics are wildly repetitive but not bad, but I can't get past Houston's oversinging. Anyone who doesn't mind that will probably enjoy this song.

"Here I Go Again" -- Whitesnake -- October 10, 1987

I wonder what makes one feel a song is "horribly overplayed" vs. just "played probably too much but I'm fine with it." This song is the latter for me. It's a really good song, so obviously that's part of it. The beginning is thoughtful and searching, with an organ and everything (or probably a synth on the organ setting), and has that same spiritual feel as "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Then in come the guitars, which are awesome. It absolutely rocks, and the emotion is of "like a drifter I was born to walk alone" is amplified by the rock, rather than buried under it.

"Lost in Emotion" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- October 17, 1987

Lisa Lisa does not sound like a police siren in this, thankfully. And I got frozen on this song because I listened to it over and over and managed to feel absolutely nothing about it. I guess she's falling in love with a friend and worried she's telling him too much, and I should identify with this because it's happened to me more than once. But I don't. I like the bass line, and it's updated Motown, so I should like that. But again, I feel nothing. Maybe it's the way Lisa Lisa sings it. I don't know, and I've wasted far too much time on something I cannot make myself care about in any way.

"Bad" -- Michael Jackson -- October 24, 1987

I think the Bad album is bad. Actually bad, as in not good. I was 11 when this hit #1, so everything in the universe embarrassed me, but this stood out. I no longer knew anyone who liked Michael Jackson. I certainly didn't. In my opinion, Jackson had exactly one good album in him, and that album was Thriller. Thriller is one of the greats. Bad is blah.

"I Think We're Alone Now" -- Tiffany -- November 7, 1987

I wonder what makes stations decide to play #1 hits and what makes them decide not to. I don't remember hearing this much at the time, and never after. It's a cover of a 1960s song that was never that great, and it's worse here. In 1967, the "ooh we're alone gonna do something naughty" idea was still edgy. In 1987 -- are you kidding? Madonna's tearing up the charts in 1987; what on earth is this thing doing on it? It's an annoying song, annoyingly sung.

"Mony Mony" -- Billy Idol -- November 21, 1987

I had to do aerobics to this in middle school. Next!

"(I've Had) The Time of My Life" -- Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- November 28, 1987

This is one of those songs I can't really evaluate because it feels like background music to my life. Not that it was ever particularly important to me -- it's not. But it's sort of like "Eye of the Tiger", movie song and all. Medley and Warnes are well-matched on the song, and they do a great job. I wish the music were more interesting, but well, movie ballad. It's a good one for what it is. By the way, Dirty Dancing is another movie I've managed to never see. For no reason -- I might even like it. But somehow, it's never come up.

"Heaven Is a Place on Earth" -- Belinda Carlisle -- December 5, 1987

Ooh baby, do you know what that's worth? Yes. I love everything about this song. It's a big and unashamed dance power ballad about how great love is, and the lyrics are simple but powerful. But I have a question: What the heck is up with the video? It looks like she's being inducted into a cult, not like she's in ecstasy over great romantic love. Well, it was the 80s, the videos usually didn't have anything to do with the songs. Still, weird.

"Faith" -- George Michael -- December 12, 1987

I've known the lyrics to this song since it came out, but I never registered them before. Only "I gotta have faith, faith, faith." I remember the video, though, with its prominent focus on George Michael's butt. I'm watching the video now, and huh, there's a basically naked woman in it too. That, I didn't remember, because it wasn't relevant to my interests. Anyway, the lyrics are about how the narrator needs a break from relationships so is not gonna have sex with this hot woman. Sure, George, that's why. Ahem. Sorry, we didn't know then, and it doesn't matter one bit anyway, because the singer is playing a role. It's a fun song for which the lyrics don't matter at all.

BEST OF 1987 -- "With or Without You" by U2 WORST OF 1987 -- "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" by Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett

#billboard number ones

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bodyswapmischief · 5 years

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Thankful for my Brother

There the textwas sent. I thought to myself. Well there is nothing I could do know.

A hour passed, and I thought I was in the clear. Maybe my brother didn't care after all. But it was to good to be true. My phone started ringing.

"What the fuck, bro! You can't just text and say your not coming to Thanksgiving!" He yelled

"Well I thought it wouldn't be a big deal." I responded.

"Of course it's a big deal! Is something wrong? I could tell you've been pulling away lately." His voice changed from anger to concern.

"No, I'm good. It just now that I'm in New York and your all the way in California, it's hard keep in touch." My voice fails to hide my depression.

"Come on dude. That maybe part of it but, I know more is going on. I know when your lying. For christ sakes, I had to act like brother, mother and father to you. You know we can be honest with each other. We are all each other gots."

He was right about that. I was 12 when my parents died. And, he was 18. He was already to graduate high school and begin his college life. But that all stopped.

Being only children, my parents had no family left. So, everything they had was left to us. And, it was a pretty good amount of money. However since we were both under 20 most of the money would be locked under a trust fund. Then their was the case of my custody. I remember the exact phrasing, as the lawyer read the will.

"And, if we should die before Alex turns 18. We ask that our oldest son Jason becomes his legal guardian. But, it must be his choice to want to go through with this." My heart stopped. What was going to happen. But, before I could think about anything he started talking.

"Of course I'm going to keep my brother. He's not going anywhere." He stated strongly but with tears running down his face. He put is arms around me and pushed me close to him. "We are all we got, now."

I was happy. I was glad he liked me enough to keep him. After all the annoying things I did and the fights we had, he cared about me. But, at the same time I wanted to tell him no, don't do it. But, I couldn't. I didn't want to lose him. Maybe I was being selfish. But even at that young age, I knew how much he was giving up.

Instead of going to college he got a job. We, also, moved in to a small apartment after selling most of our parents things, because we could no longer afford living in our old house. Part of the will was he had to take financial responsibility class. So, that help.

And, he was able to help me. He helped me get through puberty, he taught me how to shave, he taught me how to talk to girls, he helped me with my homework, he made sure I always ate, and so many other things a brother, mom and dad would do.

By the time I was 18, I wanted to get a job to start helping my brother. But, he pushed me to go to college. He wanted my life to be all it could be. In a loving way, he wanted my life to make up for his. Luckily, we now had the money from the trust fund so, my college was paid for. I spent four years at a local university, majoring computer engineering.

My brother also got a break. At this point, most off his friends were finished with college. And, some of them were starting there own businesses. So, one of his good friends, offered him a better job. During this time he even met the love of his life. Over the course of a few years, they started having kids. And, I started feeling like a burden on their life. My brother's wife, came from a big family. And, they would always come around. They quickly accepted my brother, as their new son. And ,yes, they were kind to me. But, I felt like a third wheel. So, after college I knew I had to leave. It took a few years longer than I wanted, but I got a good job offer from a tech company in New York.

Being away from him, I realize why I left. I was jealous of the happiness my brother had. I wanted the love he had. I guess the death of my parents have affected me more than I thought. Unlike, my brother, I had relationships and commitment issues. Over my college life, I was becoming a bit of a play boy. And, it didn't help that I was Bi because it meant I had more options to mess around with. Now that I'm in New York with a good paying job, most of night end with going to clubs with my friends I've made, get drunk, and find a one night stand.

"Come on say something." My brother voice cut through my thoughts.

"Oh sorry ... it's just I don't want to be a burden. I don't want you tell feel like you need to have me there just because I'm your brother. I mean you got a new family now, you don't need me around anymore." I say.

"See, I new something was wrong. You sound depressed as fuck. Don’t do anything stupid. I’m going to take the next flight to go see you?”

“No, don’t. I’m not suicidal. Plus, your going miss thanksgiving with your family.”

“Fuck it, they’ll understand. I mean the holidays are a rough time for us. Especially since it’s around the time mom and dad died. And, this is the first time your all alone for it. It’s natural to be sad, heck I’m still sad, even though I got my wife and kids. Are you sure you don’t want me to fly over? I think it would help you feel better.”

“No, you don’t have to take care of me. I’‘m 26 for fuck sakes! I appreciate everything you had too sacrifice for me. and, I still love you. But, you don’t gotta fucking babysit me anymore. With this time apart, I just got to find out some things for myself.” I said aggressively.

“Okay ... okay, I understand ... I understand.” my brother says, trying to calm me down..

Tears in my eyes and I feel guilty. “Sorry ...sorry ...sorry. I don’t know where that came from. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Just recently I’ve been discovering how broken I am. I’ve actually started seeing a therapist gain. Turns out I have a lot of guilt from forcing you to take care of me and ruining your life. And at the same time, I’m jealous of you, your life, and your ability to love.”

“Hey! You didn’t force me to do shit!. What kind of person would I have been if I sent you away. I did it cause I wanted too do it.” He responded with a stern loving tone. “And you didn’t ruin my life. I got a good job now. I got a wife. I got kids. I’m happy. You shouldn’t feel guilty about anything.” He said with amusement. “But, I’m not going to lie. I was jealous of you. I mean you got to live the life, I wanted. But, I understand ... there are just somethings you got to do, for yourself.”

“Thanks for understanding. I’ll probably just hangout with some other friends, who won’t go back home for the holidays. But, I’ll definitely be there for Christmas. And, I’ll find a way to make it back up to you, for not coming to Thanksgiving.” I reply.

“Actually ... I was never going to use it. But, after hearing how you feel, I think I know how you can make it up to me.” He says.

“How?” I asked.

“Let’s swap lives.”

“What”

“Let’s swap lives. I’ll be in your body and you be in mine.”

“Yeah ... I heard you the first time ... are you okay?”

“oh ... yeah ... I know it sounds crazy but, my friends company has been working on a device to swap bodies. It’s in beta so ... so far the swap is permanent. And, we just said we always have been jealous of each other. So, now we can be each other”

“But, what about your life. I don’t know about your family dynamic. no, offense but I’m not sexually attractive to your wife. I wouldn’t make a good father. You don’t know anything about my job. If you could swap our bodies we would just mess up each other lives. And wouldn’t you miss your wife and kids.”

“Yes I love them. But, if we swap none of that would matter. I could set it up so we have all the information we need to get through our new lives. My love for my wife and kids would be transferred to you. All our skills will be swapped. So, you will be a good father and husband. It won’t be like I’m leaving them, because now I’m leaving them in your hands.”

I was so confused. Did my brother snap. Is he crazy. But, experiencing my brothers happiness would be my dream come true. “Okay, but how does it ...” And, Suddenly the phone hanged up. My vision became blurry. The world around me spun. And, then my vision went black. I woke up filling heavy. I was no longer om my couch. My suit was gone. Instead, I was in a truck. I was wearing a very dad type outfit, with a baseball cap on my head. A phone was in my hand so, I unlocked it using my finger print. I turned on the camera. My brother’s breaded face was looking back at me. I could feel his bigger muscular body underneath the layer of clothes he had on.

I got a text from my phone. Thank you little bro ... or should I say big brow now lol. Hope you enjoy your new life. See you at Christmas. New memories flood my mind. Happy, sad, angry, scared memories . My body start seizing up. Finally, it stopped, In mere seconds, I experienced my brother’s entire life. But, I still knew I used to be my little brother. It’s an odd feeling. But, I look at my front door. And happiness fills my mind for the first time in a long time. I can’t wait to see my beautiful wife and kids.

A few day pass, and I hope my little brother is enjoying his new life. I’m sitting at the table enjoying all the food and my family. My kids are are being silly. My father-in-law is watching football. My wife’s sisters and brothers all around the table talking. my mother-in-law making sure people eat more. Being surrounded by all this love is all I ever wanted.

Then, I get a text. My brother sent me a picture. I see him on the far right. He actually looks happy. his text reads, “Damn bro. It rules not being tied down. Last night, I had my first threesome with some girls. Now, I’m going have my first gay threesome, with these hot ass guys, tonight. Thanks for the swap and I hope you found everything you were looking for in your new life. I sure have. See you at Christmas, will catch up.”

I’m glad he is happy. I’m just thankful we both are truly happy.

#male #body #swap #mischief #transformation #tf #story #stories

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offical-dystopiantale · 5 years

Text

*Chapter 4: Together*

Ink: age 26

Error: Age 27

“Is the blindfold really necessary?”

Ink giggled, steering his taller boyfriend through their cozy home, pushing him into a chair in their dining room. “It’s very necessary! It’s your birthday, and I’ve got a surprise!”

“You don’t have to blindfold me to give me a blowjob, babe.”

“Error!” The small skeleton smacked Error’s arm, his partner erupting into laughter. “Good god, you’re so dirty minded sometimes.”

Ink walked away from the table, leaving Error sitting there, still blindfolded, and pulled out an ice cream cake from the freezer. He had originally wanted to bake a cake, but it would have been nearly impossible to hide that from the other monster. It would have both heated up their place and filled it with the smell of baking. Then there was the whole buying the ingredients, which would have been very suspicious to Error.

He did however, manage to buy two candles: a two and a seven.

Outside, snow was falling in large puffs, covering the ground in a cold, white blanket. It looked magical, and Ink hoped they’d be able to take a walk later on. The white skeleton hummed, pushing his two candles into the frosting before carefully lighting them.

He took the cake, walked back to his boyfriend and set the cake on the table in front of him. “Ok! Take off the blindfold!”

Error brought his hands to his face, pulling the blindfold off. He stared in surprise at the cake, then his gaze softened as he looked up to Ink, who had taken a seat adjacent to him. His cheeks were flushed, and the darker skeleton chuckled and blew out the two colourful candles. “I know you said you didn’t want anything too… extravagant for your birthday, but I wanted to do something for you.”

Error reached across the table, intertwining his and Ink’s fingers. “It’s perfect, thank you.”

“I was thinking, since it’s so pretty outside, we could go on a walk later!”

Error chuckled, putting two pieces of cake onto plates, handing one to his partner. “Sounds good sweets, we could go to that coffee place you like so much.”

The monster nodded enthusiastically, taking a bite out of his slice of cake.

Error helped Ink tie his scarf later that evening, laughing when the boy complained. The walk was very nice, with the large snowflakes falling around them as they walked hand in hand along the streets.

They entered the small coffee shop - a small, cozy cafe called “See you Latte” - and the familiar sound of the bell above the door rang out. “Ink, Error! It’s so good to see you two again!” The shop’s owner, a small cat monster named Nari, greeted them as she started getting their usual drinks prepared. The two monsters came here very often, and as a result the owner and most of the workers all knew them very well. Ink happily struck up a conversation with Nari and her employees, while Error opted to take a seat, letting his gaze wander around the warm building. It wasn’t busy tonight, there were only three other customers: what appeared to be another couple, and a student working on some project of theirs.

The two skeleton’s got their drinks and, despite Error’s protests, Ink paid. Sitting at their table, ideally playing footsie under the table, Ink easily rambled; and the two joked and laughed loudly with each other, both of their souls warm and fuzzy from the other’s presence. At one point, the student gave them a sharp glare, which only made Error laugh more.

Eventually, once they finished their warm beverages, they bid farewell to the owner who was getting ready to close the cafe, and stepped back into the chilled night air.

At home, they had a bath to warm up - nothing sexual, Ink had brought in a book and Error had spent the time reading over his shoulder, and admiring his loved one as he relaxed against him. It was his favourite way to see him; just casually relaxing in his embrace, or one of his hoodies, obviously comforfortable and happy. Slowly, Error let himself drift off in his thoughts.

It had been many years since the boys had graduated and started dating - nine, to be exact - and they now lived in a cozy, two story home. A little after they graduated, they had moved into a small apartment. It wasn't the best, but it was their first home, and they had both loved it. Error quickly found a new full time job at a computer store - it was a job that he not only liked, but it paid better than his last job. Ink, on the other hand, got a job at a nearby library. It was quiet, peaceful and Ink had grown to love it (and his coworkers) dearly.

When Ink turned 23, the talk of marriage had popped up between the two men. They looked for a new home and found the one they lived in now. It was roomy with a large backyard - perfect for kids! - and once they had saved up enough, they moved in.

But, marriage plans were pushed aside when Ink’s mother, Winter, passed away shortly after they moved into their new home. No one had realized the severity of Winter’s illness until she told Ink when he was 21. She’d contracted a rare disease that was caused by complications during Ink’s birth.

Complications from childbirth, while rare for monsters, could not only still happen, but could take years before it is noticed. One of the rarest diseases fractures the pregnant parent’s soul because the baby’s soul doesn’t detach properly and takes a portion of the parent’s soul with them; which causes a chain reaction that eventually results in the parent’s death. This chain reaction, unfortunately, takes years to occur and is very hard to detect in the earlier stages. Treatment is nonexistent for monsters with this disease because, once it is found, there is nothing that can be done to reverse the damage.

After her death, Ink immediately started to blame himself; he felt that if he hadn't been born, his mother would still be alive.

Seeing Ink fall into such a low place …terrified Error. He knew what it was like to fall into a mind pit like that and he never wanted his loved one to feel the way he had. So he helped his boyfriend in all the ways he could think of. Of course he gave the small skeleton space and time to grieve, but Error made sure to remind him that he was loved and cared for by bringing up happy memories time and time again. He never questioned when Ink would suddenly become cuddly, practically clinging to the taller monster. He also got Ink to, begrudgingly, see a therapist to help him heal; the therapist helped Ink to see that his mother’s death wasn’t his fault. Although, if you asked him, Ink would deny it.

Even though Ink was now doing a lot better, marriage and kids never seemed to come up in their conversations anymore. A part of Error assumed it was because Ink didn’t want either of those things anymore, especially after what had happened with his mother.

Coming back to the situation at hand, Error blinked up at Ink. He had a towel wrapped around his body and was handing the other towel to the monster who was still in the tub. Taking the towel, he unplugged and drained the tub before drying off and getting dressed for bed. Leaving the attached bathroom, Error crawled beneath the pile of blankets on their shared bed. With Ink’s hatred of the cold, Error always made sure their bed was layered with blankets to ensure his boyfriend was always comfortable and warm. Ink followed him closely and snuggled up next to the ebony skeleton, his face nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“Hey Ink?”

The small monster hummed in response, turning to look up at him.

“I…” He wanted to ask if Ink would ever want to marry him, have a family, but… well, he was a bit scared of the answer. If Ink didn’t want to, of course that was ok with Error, he was happy just as long as they were together. Plus, he didn’t want to somehow make Ink uncomfortable because of the question. “Nevermind, it’s not important.” He kissed the top of his boyfriend's skull.

“Oh, come on Erry.” Ink pushed away so that they were an arm’s length away. “We said we’d always talk to each other. So tell me what’s bothering you.”

Error sighed; he loved Ink with all his soul, but he sometimes wished the other skeleton couldn’t read him so easily. “Would you still want us to get married someday..?”

“What? Of course I do! Oh goodness, is that what you were worried about?” Ink giggled, curling up to his chest again. “You’re so silly sometimes.”

Error laughed nervously, nuzzling his partner. “Mh… I love you hun.”

Ink yawned. “I love you too.”

*****

“Wait, he hasn’t proposed yet?!”

Ink looked up at his coworker - Ray was the only human he actually knew, and they met each other through their work and had quickly become good friends. She had dark skin and shoulder length dark brown hair, one side of it cut to her scalp. Her hair was dyed purple at the tips, which Ink found fascinating. “Nope.”

Honestly, Ink was as surprised as Ray. After Error had asked that question about marriage on his birthday, he has assumed he was planning on proposing that week, or not long after, but here he was, four months later, and Error still had yet to pop the question.

“Haven’t you two been together for, what, seven years now?”

“Our ten year anniversary is in a few days, actually.” He turned back to shelving books. “Error has always taken his time with these sort of things, but this is… well, I figured we’d be married and maybe starting a family by now.”

Behind him, Ray cleared her throat rather loudly. Ink turned, then froze. Beside her stood a very worried looking Error, holding a brown paper bag. “Honey! What.. what are you doing here?” His gaze slipped to Ray, who was slowly backing away from them.

“You forgot your lunch so I made something for you…” His voice wavered and he looked down. Ink bit his lip, he’d definitely heard what Ink had said.

“Error, look, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“... am I taking too long? Are you going to-”

“No. I’m not leaving.” He sighed, taking the paper bag and setting it aside. “Look at me Erry.” The black skeleton did as he was told, and Ink reached up on his tip toes, cupping his face. “Yeah, as a kid I always pictured being married and having kids by 26, but that doesn’t mean I’m upset about how things turned out. I love you, and I’m ok with waiting until you’re ready.”

“But-”

Ink kissed him, ending his sentence. “You don’t need to explain anything, I understand, ok? And I’m not mad. At all.” He pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s nasal ridge for good measure, then let him go. “thank you for the lunch - I don’t know how I forgot it again.”

He giggled and Error rolled his eyes, his nervous demeanor changing back to his cocky attitude. “You’ve always been forgettful as fuck.”

Ray popped back up around the corner. “Aspine’s saying she wants you at the front Ink.” Ray dramatically rolled her eyes, clearly displaying her distaste for the rabbit monster. Not that Ink liked her very much either: ever since highschool she’d been hitting on Error, and hasn’t stopped even though they were now all adults and he was clearly taken.

“Probably saw me come in and wants to get you away from me.” Error said with a snort, smirking when Ink’s face turned down to a pout. He never took things like this seriously. As far as he is concerned, no one’s fruitless flirting would make him leave his cute little boyfriend.

Ink sighed. “I hate working front desk. People always ask me why a child is working.”

“Weeeeeell-”

“Don’t you start.”

The ebony skeleton chuckled, leaning down and giving him a gentle kiss. “I’ll leave you to it then, see ya later hun.”

“Bye Erry.” He waited a minute, watching him leave, then made his way to the front desk; mentally preparing himself for all the annoying comments and looks.

*****

Error patted his pockets, feeling the hard lump of the ring box and blew out a puff of air. Was this a good idea? He had been planning this before he heard Ink talking to his friend about it in the library, but what if Ink thinks he did this because of that overheard conversation and gets upset?

He was sitting in their car, parked outside of the old Library that his boyfriend worked at, a fully packed picnic basket sitting in the back seat with a folded blanket on top. A few weeks ago, while mindlessly scrolling through social media on one of his breaks, he had seen something about a meteor shower happening on this day. After doing more research about it, he learned that it only happens every 5000 years, and is told to be very beautiful.

It was just what he was looking for.

He packed a rather large picnic basket after dropping off Ink’s lunch - he had made sure to take the day off in order to get everything ready, and planned to take Ink out to “their” hill right after the boy was done work.

There, under the spectacular meteor shower, he planned to propose.

He just hoped everything would go as planned.

The library was one of the older buildings in the city; Blightview was a very old city, but modern architecture gave it a very modern look despite that. The building was made from thick stone, with small details carved into them; Error decided it was a very nice building to look at. One of the large, dark wood doors opened, and out walked Ink, chatting amicably to his friend, Ray. Error didn’t know her well, but from what Ink had told him, she seemed nice, albeit a bit strange. The small monster’s gaze found the black skeleton, and he waved excitedly, bringing a small grin to Error’s face. Ink said goodbye to his friend, who also waved to Error, then practically sprinted to the car, flopping into the passenger seat. “Hi sweetie!”

“Hey sweetheart.” He quickly kissed his cheek bone, then pulled the car out of park, driving away from the large building. “How do you feel about going on a picnic?”

“Huh?” He noticed the basket in the backseat, understanding washing over his features. “Oh! That certainly came out of nowhere, but it sounds nice!”

“I read about a meteor shower happening tonight, I figured we could go to the hill and watch it together.”

Ink giggled, making Error’s soul sing in his chest. Funny how, even after all these years, small things like that never failed to make him feel that. “That sounds lovely~ Maybe later we could have a little “meteor shower” of our own~”

Error snorted. “And you say I’m the dirty minded one?”

*****

By the time they made it out to the hill, the sun was nearly gone, sinking into the ground, bleeding into the sky with oranges and pinks. Ink helped Error lay out the blanket and unpack the basket, even though the ebony monster had insisted that he didn’t need any help.

Once everything was out, Ink snuggled up to his boyfriend, nuzzling into his chest. A moment of panic crossed over the larger monster - the ring was literally in his pocket, what if Ink felt it? It would ruin the whole surprise.

But the small monster didn’t say anything, holding his plate of food and watching the sky as the stars started peaking out.

“A lot of things have happened here.”

Error hummed, following Ink’s gaze to the sky. “You got that right.”

“Our lives.. always seem to lead us here. It’s our spot.”

The two were silent for a moment after that, eating their food and watching the starry sky, waiting for the star show.

“I believe… that everyone has that one person they were meant for. Like their souls are connected to each other, even before they bond. Somebody who, no matter what happens, you always end up with, and love. Nothing could pull them apart.” He looked to his boyfriend, small tears in the corners of his large eyes. “You’re that person for me Error. I… I can’t even begin to express how much I love you, and appreciate you in my life.”

Error cooed, using his thumb to wipe away his tears. “Ink… there’s another reason I wanted to take you o-”

The white monster suddenly gasped, pointing to the sky. “Look! It’s starting!!”

Error turned, his eye’s widening as he took in the sight before him. It was like bright shooting stars were falling from everywhere in the sky, trailing bright pinks, blues and every colour of the rainbow. It lit up the sky and the ground with stunning colours. It was gorgeous.

Despite that, it was Ink’s face that made Error melt. The boy’s eyes were huge, the lights reflecting in them, and shining on his already flushed face. His mouth was pulled up in a smile as he stared up in wonder at the sky.

Now’s the time.

Carefully, the skeleton took his lover’s hand and stood, pulling up the small monster with him. “Ink, I need to ask you something.” His voice was hushed and Ink pulled his eyes away from the sky to lock eyes with him. He looked so perfect.

Error slowly went down on one knee, letting go of Ink’s hand, he pulled out the small box from his pocket. Realizing what was happening, Ink’s hand flew up to cover his mouth, new tears forming in his eyes.

“I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you. I… don’t know what I would have done without you, you’ve helped me through so much, and for that I’ll always be grateful.” He opened the small box, the ring inside reflecting the bright and colourful lights around them. The ring was engraved with small carvings along the band, leading to a small blue crystal in the center. After learning that Ink’s last name, Agate, was actually the name of a crystal, he knew that that would be perfect for the ring. “Ink… will you make me the happiest monster in the world, and marry me?”

The white skeleton was smiling, tears falling freely from his eye sockets. “Yes… Yes!! Of course I’ll marry you!!” Error grinned widely, tears forming in his own eyes. He carefully slid the glimmering ring onto Ink’s small finger then stood up, wrapping his arms around him.

Ink was crying, gripping Error’s shirt and rambling about how happy he was as Error suddenly picked him up, twirling him around, erupting giggles from the monster. “I love you so fucking much.” He hummed, pushing away his tears and kissing his new fiance.

Still giggling, Ink placed his hands on either side of Error’s skull, placing their foreheads together. “I think this is the start of all the bad stuff being behind us, right?”

“Oh definitely.” Error nuzzled Ink, who happily nuzzled him back. The ebony skeleton sat back down, his partner curled up to his chest as they watching the stunning meteor shower. Together. In each other’s arm.

Life was perfect. And Error had never felt so happy, and lucky.

“I mean, what could wrong now?”

~The End~

Ink and Error will return in DystopianTale

153 notes · View notes

ellus986 · 5 years

Text

Like a thunder

Single dad Ben Hardy x reader part 2

Okay so from sweet little girls to heavier stuff, we need to speak about things like this too! If any of you experience anything like the end of this chapter please conect someone, tell your parents your family or the cops even!

Warning: kissing, violance, abuse, domestic abuse, swearing

Christmas came around and even you worked on friday you haven’t seen either Ben or Keila. It was not a suprise to you, sure they were on holiday or something, it was not a big deal, you only would’ve been able to go down to you brother’s for one and a half week instead of one if you don’t agree to be in on the 27. and thanks to that even on 28., but who counts things like that. Anyways, last time he acted like nothing happend. You were not mad about it, or even heartbroken, but a little sad that your kiss was nothing for him.

No one was coming in at 9 o’clock already so your boss lets you home. “Have a nice holiday!” He says as you come out in your jacket with your backpack.

“You too!” You wave as you walk out, smiling as finally it was time for your holiday to begin.

“Wait!” You hear as you walk to the bus station, as you look back you see Ben.

“Sorry, my shift is over for today, or the year to be honest, but my boss is still in for an hour!” You answer, as it is clear as hell he did not came because of you.

“I don’t care if the diner is open or not, I came to see you!” He mumbles while trying to catch his breath. “I ... I wanted to say sorry, for being so careless last friday... so did not wanted you to feel like that kiss meant nothing, just...” he runs his fingers in his blonde locks, while he can’t make eyecontact with you. “It is just hard as a dad... I don’t want Keila to be in the middle of anything like this, not when everything is so plastic...”

“Anything like what?” You look at him in disbelief.

“Ooh my God...” he finally looks in your eyes. “I like you, I liked you since we first stepped into that diner a year ago, I guess my own daugther senced it and pushed me to ask you out...” he blushes.

You step closer and kiss him, he grabs you waist and kiss you back, way more harder than last time.

“I like you too!” You wishper as you part your lips.

“Oh God, what a releaf...” he chuckles, pushing his forhead to yours.

New years eve:

“Wait a minute!” You laugh as you try to get the kids off of you.

“I guess you are busy...” he chuckles.

“Just give me one minute to eat these kiddos...” and as you say it teasing them, they run away screaming. “So I’m here!” You get your robe on and walk out to the balcony.

“So that is why you handled well Keila’s jumping thing!” Ben smiles at the camera running his fingers in his dirty blonde hair.

“I’m a well trained Auntie!” You stand proudly.

“No big parties, drunk boys in your planes for today?” He blushes.

“Naah” you shake your head. “Drunk girls in yours?”

“I spend the new years with the guys and Lucy in a pub in London, but would rather spend it with you or Keila...” he mumbles.

“Look at him good, less than two days and he is one year away from 30!” Jumps Joe in the picture.

“Hi Joe!”

“Hi Y/N!”

“Oh you are that old already?” You giggle.

“Why? Are you underaged?” He jokes, but you can see in his eyes he is not sure.

“Obviously not, as I can drink legally eight years now!” You laugh blushing.

“You are 29?” Joe looks shooked.

“No Silly, 26... you know, the legal drinking age in europe is 18!”

“It is always fulling me!” He slaps his own face. “I’m sorry to intorupt this beautiful moment, but we need to get ready for the night! I need to stole this blondie before you have an another wet experience!” He laughs with his head falling back.

“So you two really are coming in one?”

“But remember he will be home until next summer!” Ben makes sure you know Joe won’t be around all along.

“Hey, I planed to come earlier, and you should finally come to the U.S.A.!”

“How is it there? I was never overseas!” You try to keep them on the phone.

“Than you should come with the little girl see New York! It is the best place in the world!” Joe wonders off.

Next week:

You just arrived home from the countryside. You get your keys out, but as you want to open your door you realise it is already opened. Your hands are shaking as you push it in and step in. Your clothes are all over your living room, the flower you had on the table is on the kitchen floor beside a million broken glass pieces.

“You got it from him, right?” You hear the voice you hated to most from your bedroom.

“Peter, what are you doing here?” You try to stay calm, but your hands are shaking more and more.

“You got the flowers from him right?” He repeats like you did not asked him.

“From who?”

“Him, I saw your messages!” He steps closer. You want to get out of the apartment, but he steps to you and closes the door behind you. You are trapped there. The thing you liked in him once, was your worst enemy now: him being tall, and strong.

“I bought those flowers myself...you should know I always have some fresh daisies in my kitchen...” you mumble.

“With what he is better than me?” He asks as you slide out under his arm, but he follows you quickly. “With what?!” He pushes you to the wall, with his fingers on your neck.

“He is not choking me right now...” you try to say the words.

“Why?” He simply says as he finally lets go of your neck, and just hits the wall next to your face.

“Peter it is over a year now...”you wince as he punches the wall again leaving a second hole there. “Please, I need to pay to fix it...” you wishper.

“Why?” He says it again.

“Because... because we were not meant to be... we are different, that is all...”

“Why you like him more?” He sniffes.

“Peter please go!” You cry softly.

“Will you ever love me again?” He gets even closer to you.

“I could never again...” you cry sliding down the wall.

“Fuck you, bitch!” He kicks the wall, so close to your arms you can feel the wind of his leg, before ha walks out and shouts the door behind himself. You cry out loud, shaking hands in your hair, sitting at the ruined wall.

As you are able to calm yourself down enough to be understandable, you call the person you know you can trust. “Hi, Y/N! I thought you call at night on FaceTime!”

“Do... do you have Keila with yourself?” You sutter.

“Hey, What’s wrong? But no, I’m alone!” He sounds concerned.

“Peter... my ex was here... I don’t know he went away or he is still around... I don’t know what to do!” You sob.

“I’m on my way!” You can hear as he gets his clothes on.

“No wait, if he is here, he is dangerous, most likely for you!”

“Why?”

“He saw our Facebook messages... somehow he knew my password... he was hitting the wall yelling, all my clothes are out of my closet, the vase I had with flowers in it is broken as he thought you gave it to me...” you just star in the air.

“I’m on my way...”

“But...”

“There is not but! If he is around I hope he comes up to me and I can punch him!”

“Ben... please don’t, don’t be like him...” you cry out loud again.

“I will be there in 10 minutes!” He ends the call, and you sit there, doing nothing sobbing.

Ben’s view:

He sees noone around when he gets to your apartment, and as you wanted him to not act on it, he is happy about it, that means you are safe. He runs up, and freezes as he sees the ruined door still being open just for some centimeters. He steps in and his heart stops. You sit in a mess, holes are behind you in the wall your eyes are Cried out, and Oh God you had finger marks on your neck. Looking at you for a second was enough to understand what you meant under: don’t be like him.

Ben gets on his knees infront of you, and only that was the minute you realised he is there. You turn your head up, and he grabs you close to himself. You cry on his chest and he smooths your hair, after a while he speaks up. “Are you alright?”

“I am now... I am now!” You mumble into his chest.

“You can’t stay here, you can sleep at my place as long as you want, and if you want tomorrow we look after a new apartment where he can’t find you, or hurt you.” He stands up, and holds his hand out.

“Thank you...” you mumble getting up using his hand bumping into his chest. You look up, and he looks in your swollen eyes, and sees you just as beautiful as he first saw you. You kiss him softly, and he kisses back even softer, as he is afaird he would scare you, or even hurt you with more.

To be continued...

My sweet perms: @simply-sams-things @spacedustmazzello

Story tags: @jonesyaddiction @theprettyandthereckless

#single dad ben hardy #benjamin jones #benjamin hardy #ben hardy fan fiction #ben hardy x you #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #single dad fan fic #bohrap fanfic #bohrap fanfiction #joe mazzello #joseph fancis mazzello iii

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