#(this post is so long that i almost feel self conscious posting it LMAO...was super fun and i hope you enjoy!!)

[wolfytae-exe]

ALRIGHT LONG TIME NO SEE BUT HERE I AM

-> why you follow me

mostly - ur personality like i love ur shitposts n the way u post anything that comes to ur mind!! also..your beomgyu thoughts..good lord.

-> a compliment

IF IT’S BEOMGYU BRAINROT YOU’RE THE RIGHT PERSON TO COME TO TBH no but rly ur takes on this man are dkfjakcjakdh ate, plane clean every single time

-> tell me a secret

i screamed when u followed me first bc i wanted to do it way before i started to write on this app.. i acc 'knew' who u were before but i had a feeling that ur mean n i just didn’t follow until you did it first LMAO (idk why i thought u were mean, ur so sweet)

-> things u associate me with

u know the red photos of gyu from wv magazine?? yeah this, the color red AND SOME WITCHY STUFF like not necessarily a witch but like a witch hat, crystal ball etc.

we don’t talk much but ur so sweet cici i’m so happy were moots:( ily

Aura.. ☹️ don’t actually make me cry..

I’m lowk self conscious about my shitposts cause like it’s my pea sized brain saying “you guys i had an idea” LMAOOO BUT YOU LOVE IT SO 🥰 YAY OKAY.

AND IM THE PERSON YOU’D COME TO FOR BEOMGYU BRAINROT? sobs in a corner fr. The way I literally just think about beomgyu and never turn back with the ask, i just start writing skejkw THANK YOU THAT MEANS SO MUCH LIKE WHAT-

Tee hee I followed you because I seen how you interacted with some of my moots and I started stalking your account (I stalk accounts for fun btw) and got lost in one of your drabbles i think and just hit follow LOLL LIKE CANT MAKE THAT SHIT UP I HIT FOLLOW SO FAST. And I feel like I had a mean era on here for a hot minute (NastyNonie era) but IM REALLY NICE PROMISE POOKIE 😁

You associate me with my LOCKSCREEN LMAOEKKW AND MY HALLOWEEN OUTFIT THIS YEAR? HELLO? DO YOU KNOW ME OR DO YOU KNOW ME? HEHE🩷 receipts v

In all seriousness I’m really happy to have you as a moot and hope we can start interacting more! You’re super DUPER sweet and it’s just 😭 SERIOUSLY AURA I ALMOST CRIED WRITING BACK TO YOU, YOU’RE SUPER SWEET.

[gogogobarry]

oh i love these prompts! fireworks, tomorrow, or return for it! feel free to pick any you want, or go wild and do all of 'em if you'd like! :D

ONE WORD PROMPT DRABBLES! | not accepting (planning to do one a day!)

fireworks + tomorrow + return for @volot !!

“Hey hey, come one, and come all! Tonight, Jubilife Village is the number-one party spot in all of Hisui! Yes!” Barry proclaims, grinning ear to ear as he throws his arms wide open, gesturing gleefully towards the decorated shops lining Canala Avenue. “Welcome to our first annual spring festival, presented by me--Young Oran, tonight’s Magnificent Master of Ceremonies--and the rest of the Gingko Guild! Not bad for a ragtag bunch of merchants, eh? Oh, and hey--don’t forget, there’s gonna be deals, raffles, games...all that fun stuff, all night long! Let’s just have a blast, okay? Oran out!”

The gathered villagers whoop and cheer as Barry takes a much-deserved bow, some of them already munching on assorted Honey Cakes, fresh-picked Berries, and Beni’s irresistible festival-edition mochi. The entire avenue is strung up in warm lights, with nearly every resident either happily milling about or providing games and wares from their typical wooden stalls. Anthe is all smiles as she shows off her new festival fashions, receiving choruses of oohs and ahhs from an awed audience. Even Dagero seems more energized then usual, his finger flying to the camera shutter as he snaps photos of posing Pokemon, abashed couples, and giggling friend groups against the colorful backdrop. 

For a first-time event held on this scale, everything is going amazingly well so far--and Barry just can’t stop smiling. Even the weather--evidenced by the slew of stars twinkling above his head--couldn’t be more perfect. As he strolls down the crowded village street, hands jammed into the pockets of his Gingko uniform, people pause to offer him words of thanks, maybe even a hearty clap on the back. Yes, Barry can be an absolute nuisance sometimes--his early morning hawking of goods gets old fast--but everyone knows that he’s the true mastermind behind this impulsive festival, working so hard to bring this grandiose vision into reality. Bravo.

“Hey Tules! Everything good?” he calls out, offering the passing Guild member a jaunty salute as they exchange grinning nods. Selling wares isn’t the main point of this event, but Barry still can’t wait for Tuli to crunch the numbers in the morning--the guild is out in full force tonight after all, so a massive profit is inevitable. They were all going to be rich. Maybe grumpy ol’ Ginter would even crack a smile for once...  

Barry’s smile continues to be omnipresent as he rounds on the Gingko camp’s crackling fire, his expression only brightening further once he spots the familiar figure seated at the flame’s edge. Volo had just returned from one of his mysterious regional trips--right on time--so the elder Guild figure understandably seemed a bit out of it tonight, his unwavering gaze fixed on the gaping celestial instability looming over the distant Mount Coronet. Yes, the atmosphere at the camp--somewhat removed from the main festival thoroughfare--is pensive, refreshingly peaceful...until it isn’t. Thank you, Oran.

“Hey, hey...earth to Big Bro! You in there, buddy?” Barry crows impatiently, sliding in right beside Volo and snorting as the older merchant--snapped out of his tired reverie--flinches at his sudden arrival. “C’mon, you’re the one who always tells me to...uh, keep my senses alert, or whatever--what happened to you? Maybe it’s your old age, or maybe I’ve just gotten sneakier, eh?”

“Hm! Maybe you have...” Volo responds lightly, stifling a yawn as he takes stock of the distant festival...and the restless boy who’s eagerly perched next to him, ready to drink in his every word. It’s Volo’s turn to smile now, and the de facto star of the Gingko Guild throws an arm around his wannabe protégé, giving Barry’s shoulder a supportive squeeze. ”I must say, this festival is truly impressive so far, Oran. You should feel very proud, taking the reins to lead something like this all by yourself.”

Barry’s eyes widen, his cheeks almost immediately flushing pink. “I-I had a bit of help. From Tules, Choy, y’know...” he mutters dismissively, clapping an embarrassed hand to the back of his neck. Contrary to his usual all-me attitude, the young blond seems almost flustered as he grins down at his boots, sits up a little straighter. It’s clear that Volo’s approval means so much to him--as usual--even as this rare moment of modesty inevitably fades away.

“...Man, I could’ve used your help with the sales pitch though. Do you know how hard it was to convince Boss Cyllene and Pops that this party was all worth it? Yeesh,” Barry grouses lightly, poking Volo in the ribs. “I kept reminding myself--what would Big Bro say?--and then I just kept talking until both of them rolled their eyes and said party on! Score one for Oran--I learned from the best speaker ever, right? Oh!”

Barry abruptly leaps out of his seat as if zapped by a phantom Thundershock, causing poor Volo to flinch again. “That reminds me! I gotta show you and the whole village something super cool! I know you’re probably pooped, but you don’t even have to move, okay? I’ll be right back!” The overexcited organizer takes a few steps before skidding in his tracks and whirling around. “Oh! And that also reminds me--once I’m done, wanna come down to the Ave and say hi to everybody? I know you’re probably pooped, but I promise the festival’s fun! I mean, everyone wants to see you and hear your latest stories...just think on it, yeah?” But don’t move just yet, Mr. Popular! I’ll be back in a flash--count me down, Big Bro!” 

However, Barry zips off before Volo can even open his mouth to respond (or even count), leaving a very bewildered Hisuian traveler in his wake. What is even happening right now? Perhaps it’s the spirit of the festival, but Barry seems more frenetic than normal...if that’s even possible.

BANG!

A loud sound suddenly tears through the evening air, almost causing Volo to pitch backwards off his log stool. His eyes are immediately drawn skyward, mouth dropping open as multicolored lights dazzle the celestial canvas overhead. The merchant hears oohs and cheering from the Village’s center...and then Barry all but reappears in front of him, panting with hands planted on his knees. Young Oran is positively beaming now.

“Did...did you see that, Big Bro? It worked! They actually work!” he celebrates, dancing around Volo’s log with glee. “I present you with...Hisui’s first homemade fireworks! Look, look, here comes another one!”

Another impromptu firework arcs into the sky, prompting yet another majestic flash. Barry is excitedly rambling on about working with Choy to craft the colorful explosives from the fuses of discarded Pokeballs, but Volo isn’t paying much attention, his unwavering gaze fixed on the brilliant explosions. As the dependable Anvin launches the full arsenal of custom fireworks from the farm fields (Galaxy Corps permission for this be damned!), Barry finally runs himself out of steam and and plops down next to Volo again, the two merchants gazing up at the triumphant scene in thoughtful silence.

The explosions are so bright yet so fleeting, and Barry finds himself wishing that the momentary splashes of color would stick around for just a little longer. He harbors the same feelings towards this festival--this celebration of how far Jubilife has come--and part of him selfishly wishes that tomorrow would never arrive, wishes that he could just capture this singular evening in a capsule and exist in it forever. He lets out a sigh of contentment. Perhaps the fact that he can never return to such a perfect, temporary moment...is what makes tonight so special in the first place. 

Volo’s eyes are also trained on the fireworks, though his gaze lingers on what happens after the explosion, when the discarded, burnt-out embers descend sadly to the earth. He frowns to himself--the fleetingness of this display shouldn’t disappoint him so much, but it does. Inevitably, he finds himself staring at the spacetime distortion portal looming above the Coronet Highlands, the ominous problem that this festival has tried to ignore. Unlike the fireworks, the portal’s light endures. Unlike the fireworks, the portal is only growing stronger, brighter over time. The white light sears Volo’s vision, reminding him of his greater mission. Once he makes his play, there is no returning to the Village, the Guild, anything resembling normalcy. After he’s ascended, he can finally abandon this pointless façade...and become so much more.    

On Volo’s side, Barry sighs again, his hazel eyes twinkling with innocent wonder and big dreams. For someone who’s always rushing towards something new, he is truly content to stay in this moment for once. After all, there’s always tomorrow, and--this time--tomorrow can wait, just this once.

Volo sighs too, turning away from the distortion with a pang in his chest. For someone who always acts so casual and composed, he finds himself filled with an insatiable restlessness, the need to further his own goals preoccupying his mind above all else. The mask he wears is slipping more and more every day. Soon. He is so close. 

Tomorrow can’t come fast enough.    

[moontrinemars]

Asteroid Hatshepsut (2436) in the Natal Chart of Queen Elizabeth I

The object Hatshepsut represents self-promotion, the conscious propagation of image in order to bring about success or in the process of pursuing ambitions. The words that come to mind are legacy, stature, image, and campaign. This is linked to gender expression and its use in a social, public, or professional context, but that’s secondary.

This is super late, but I got crazy absorbed while I was researching, so I hope the anonymous asker has stuck around! (If you’re only interested in personal natal astrology, I’ve got a Hatshepsut overview post drafted that briefly touches on each of the sign and house placements as well as providing basic support for analyzing aspects. It also goes into the topic of Hatshepsut in retrograde.)

IMO, it’s always worth checking both Vedic and Western placements, so both will be analyzed independently below, with additional emphasis on shared traits between them - all this said with the disclaimer that I am still very new to Vedic astrology relative to Western. That said, analysis below the cut!

The Western drawn chart for Queen Elizabeth I has Hatshepsut in Leo at 19º in the 7th house. The Vedic drawn chart has the asteroid in Leo at 2º (placing it in the Magha Nakshatra) in the 9th house. Both charts place Hatshepsut exactly conjunct both her Vertex and her Pars Fortunae, as well as exactly trine Jupiter and exactly semisquare her Venus. (God, if I’ve ever seen a chart so dramatically befit its native, lmao...)

So, starting with the shared traits.

Leo Hatshepsut natives craft stories and wield showmanship to rally people around their cause. They know how to orchestrate the world around them such that they appear to be the sun around which everything revolves. They make themselves into stars through sheer force of charisma and belief in the self. The fixed modality may correlate to the native fixating on their legacy to an unhealthy degree.

As the sun is the counterpart to the motherly moon, Leo is also linked with father figures. While Saturn is the father who raises us, the Sun is the blood father who sires us. This aligns fantastically with Elizabeth’s legacy being initially sown as the unlikely claimant to her father’s throne.

The 5th house is ruled by Leo and the sun as well, and its domain includes joy and hobbies, but also more relevantly, offspring - by which I mean both children and the process of making them. Elizabeth’s Vedic Chart has the moon in her Aries ruled 5th, while in her Western chart the 5th contains her Gemini Mars and Ceres.

The relevance here is that Leo’s rulership over the house will tie the 5th house’s contents to her legacy. Queen Elizabeth was known as the Virgin Queen and Mother to her Country. She never had her own children, but she was regarded as a mother figure by her citizens, and the moon and Ceres are both correlated to motherhood, with Ceres bringing a touch of grief to the role. Meanwhile, the presence of Mars and the dominance of the Martian Aries puts her in a position of dominance in the realm of sex and children, but to her detriment - Mars in 5th has been correlated to miscarriages and other complications with birth, and many historians believe that Elizabeth had similarly troubled feelings about her circumstances.

The sun and Leo are also correlated to royalty - and this connects to the native so obviously I almost didn’t bother to point it out lmao!

The Vertex and Pars Fortunae conjunction is powerful in itself, but throwing Hatshepsut into the mix brings another level of history-defining karma to it.

The Vertex is an imaginary point that represents a fated bond - not necessarily a soulmate, though Vertex synastry is powerful. It is often summed up as a sort of ‘second descendant’, but the focus here is on karma, rather than personal identity or taste.

Pars Fortunae, or the Part of Fortune - either is fine so long as you’re not talking to a prick who’s looking to correct you - is point of, eponymously, luck and fortune. It represents innate talents.

Having Hatshepsut exactly conjunct these conjuncted points exposes exactly what a powerful, impactful presence Elizabeth must’ve been. She would’ve done far more than command the room upon entry. Her presence echoes through time. It’s no wonder she’s become such an iconic figure of history - that’s exactly what she intended, and karma itself was her quill.

Jupiter is a planet of expansion and trine is a beatific aspect. The consequences of her efforts to craft her legacy would’ve been monumental, real world-defining stuff, and her fortune and her stature would’ve fed into each other more and more, fueling each other’s growth through growth that had been fueled by the other.

Jupiter is also correlated to ancestry, spirituality, faith, and extended paternity. Religion played a massive role in Elizabeth’s reign, both in its making and in its consequences, particularly in that it was her father’s religion - the religion which he coopted for personal reasons and came to represent as the head of the church - to which she was so spiritually and politically devout.

I’ll only briefly touch on the semi square Venus due to it being a minor aspect, but it is exact and it’s relevant so it’s worth acknowledging that it aligns with how Elizabeth’s legacy as the Virgin Queen prevented her from ever marrying or, to public knowledge, partaking in a love affair - although historians have speculated about her close relationship to Robert Dudley, and their synastry certainly is something to behold.

Now, looking at the dissonant specifics...

The houses are different. Western places Hatshepsut in the 7th, and Vedic in the 9th.

Her Western chart’s Hatshepsut in the 7th house works in so far as that her legacy is one of living for the other - her countrymen, other in that she is above them in status and wealth, but also socially if she were anything but queen she would be the other and below them according to sex - and as the other - a woman living independently under her own power, untethered and pure, seen in many ways as a king living in a queen’s body. You can also identify her rivalry with Mary, Queen of Scots in how it helped to cement her place in the legend. In both cases, she utilizes the role of the other, and the strengths of the other, to form her legacy.

The Vedic position in the 9th works if you look at the way she use theistic narratives in her favor. She spoke of herself and her country in relation to God very often, and utilized the religious archetype of the holy virgin mother, a contradiction as much as a miracle, to bolster her image and weaken the foundation of any who contradicted her right to power. There’s also the fact that the 9th house is correlated to grandparents, or more generally the extended family legacy, which would work with how Elizabeth performed the kingly duties her father and his had once assumed with the same performance of masculinity.

The degrees are also different, and the way in which they are significant differs between systems as well.

In many Western circles, 19º would be considered a Libran degree, thus Venusian in nature, feminine, cardinal, and airy. This works well enough as her raw solar magnetism was filtered through the behavior and character of an ideal woman, intelligent and insightful, embodying femininity when appropriate and acknowledging the necessity of the ways of men in times of conflict and war. Her eloquence played a huge part in her ability to perform as well, and these performances remain to this day in the form of quotes and anecdotes attributed to her.

In Vedic astrology, degrees are relevant due to the Nakshatras. Again, I’m new to Vedic, and thus am relying on external sources to analyze the meaning of the Magha Nakshatra. If they’re accurate, the Magha Nakshatra is all about spiritual leadership and responsibility. It is about appropriately acknowledging our roots without allowing them to dictate whether we are comfortable growing beyond their material bounds into a spiritual power or leadership role. This is a bit esoteric for me to parse on a first read, tbh, but until I find sources that better suit me, I’d say the general concept of honoring one’s roots but expanding beyond them into the horizons through leadership parallels pretty well Elizabeth’s approach to crafting a legacy for herself that was born in that of her father but far exceeding its bounds, beyond the role of daughter and unlikely claimant.

This is honestly crazy stuff - I’m so glad I randomly decided to check out Queen Elizabeth I’s chart, especially after receiving this request. I hope it’s okay that I looked at her case study instead of the other two referenced in passing, but I will try to rush job that general-cover Hatshepsut post in the meantime!

Message me if you have any questions or corrections, thanks lmao

[slurp-imagines]

Oh my goodness, can I ask for a headcanon where the admirals is their S/O's boyfriend THEY are inviting home to meet their parents. How would the admirals be towards the parents and how would they try to make a good impression.

thanks for sending anon, hope you enjoy these!

Meeting their s/o’s parents: Kuzan, Sakazuki, & Borsalino

Kuzan (Aokiji)

↳ Ugh Kuzan is just a dream. He’s reasonably nice, he’s good at what he does, he’s not the type to act out or anything. He leaves a good first impression on people in general, too– self-assured but not arrogant, decently friendly (or at least personable) but not overbearing.

↳ So he probably doesn’t have to do too much extra to impress his s/o's parents, unless they've got super high standards. Or unless he's literally on his post-resignation pirate-affiliated journey but idk where these headcanons fall on the timeline lmao

↳ He doesn't really go super out of his way to try to impress them, either? I could see him being a little more cordial than usual though. Like he'll dish out a couple extra compliments on their house, or the food if the parents had prepared it for them. I feel like Kuzan would be vaguely concerned that they'd find him intimidating, mostly due to his rank/status but also because he's literally almost 10 feet tall. Lol. He doesn't normally get self-conscious but he just might if his s/o and their family are all in the range of average height

↳ Although... imagining Kuzan awkwardly sitting at a way-too-small-for-him table with his small s/o and small parents... and deciding to be polite so he doesn't say anything and just accepts it... kind of hilarious in a very charming way

↳ But aside from that: he makes sure to be quite open with any questions his s/o's parents ask him, so long as they don't get too invasive about his marine duties (assuming some things are like... confidential or whatever). And while he's not over-the-top with it just by nature, he doesn't hide how he feels about his s/o. So I think their parents would be able to sense that Kuzan is a genuine guy and trust that he has good intentions.

↳ He can probably become surprisingly close with his s/o's parents, depending on how well they vibe at the first meeting. I could see his s/o quickly dropping by their parent's house and Kuzan is just sat with their mom in the living room listening to her talk about her new meatloaf recipe. S/o is just like ??? since when were y'all this tight

Sakazuki (Akainu)

↳ His s/o is probably at least a little nervous lol. Sakazuki is a man who’s easy to introduce to your parents for the most part– he’s a high-ranking marine (fancy coat and everything!), he’s well groomed, he’s got good manners... The only thing is that he sucks at small talk. Not even just a little; he’s genuinely so awful at it. He refuses to be embarrassed about it too, it’s still up for debate whether that makes a dead silent dinner table more or less uncomfortable

↳ So the s/o probably has to pull some extra social weight trying to mediate between Sakazuki and their parents. It sort of depends what their parents are like though? If they're super bubbly and (in his opinion) overly-friendly, the s/o might have to do a little extra work– Sakazuki would probably be more withdrawn in that case.

↳ (The bubbly type isn't his favorite to be around, but he also wouldn't want to risk saying anything that would burn bridges with them. They're his future in-laws, and that'd be more trouble than it's worth. He doesn't want to have a particularly close relationship with his s/o's parents, but he doesn't want to be warring with them either. It'd be irritating for him but would likely affect his and his s/o's relationship, which he doesn't want)

↳ If they're more laid back, or even stern/mean, I could actually see him getting along with them better. His secret social skills start to blossom a little bit in that case lol. Birds of a feather, right? Sakazuki does better when the other people are straight-forward and more critical-minded, because he has a better time understanding what their thought process is like.

↳ Also, he claims that he’s not going to put on a whole show and dance for their parents. But his s/o definitely notices that he’s a little more spruced up than usual lmfao. Like he puts a little gel in the hair, he uses his special, expensive cologne. Maybe he even irons his shirt. Sakazuki wants to impress but doesn't want to come off too much like he's trying to. It's so nuanced in his head

Borsalino (Kizaru)

↳ Out of the three of them, Borsalino probably does the most trying to impress his s/o's parents. It's not exactly that he particularly values their opinion of him in & of itself, he just really doesn't want to deal with a messy relationship with in-laws. This man does not have the energy for it

↳ He would not show up empty handed. Not in a million years lmao, he’s definitely coming through with the fancy fruit basket, the decorative flowers, the box of assorted macarons. He’s a man of high taste and good manners (mostly) and his s/o’s parents will know that right away

↳ Borsalino runs the risk of appearing too showy or shallow, but that impression most likely waters down a lot the longer he talks to them. He knows that people are usually pretty formal with him due to his rank, and he's good at breaking down those walls and making people feel more comfortable around him. He tells his fair share of jokes to help break the ice, and it definitely works– but s/o's probably sweating the whole time hoping he doesn't go too raunchy with it lol. He behaves though!

↳ To be fully honest though I feel like the amount of effort that Borsalino puts in with his s/o's parents just declines over time. It's slow enough that it's acceptable– probably feels more like he's becoming more genuine rather than showboating or anything like that. I think he'd still show up with a nice little gift when they see each other (probably not often since he's so busy with work), but more and more of his goofy side shows through over time.

↳ There's something charming about this man that just worms his way into their hearts though. It's weird lol. He's another one who lowkey gets close to their parents while their s/o barely has any idea. He just knows all the hot goss in their family life somehow??? So mysterious

[parcoeurs]

Extremely fascinated by your wag AU tag 👀.

thanks bestie so am i.

okay lmao so this isn't an actual fic that'll ever be written but. i was talking to my friend about it who still hasn't finished dts season 3 unfortunately but it means that i've switched around ages and years etc. i promise this has the potential to be a fun and sexy time but there's just s o much background shit that needs to be discussed. tw for mentions of irl deaths etc:

but pierre & charles meeting when they're 5-6 (which is what i think charles actually says irl but someone said it might've been closer to when they were 10-11? regardless.) and charles' dad passes away when they're 9-10, and jules when they're 13-14 and charles quits racing then. (fyi i know that irl jules passed away first)

he thinks about quitting when his dad passes away but keeps going with help from jules. so when the accident etc happens, it's not even like an active decision he ponders. he just knows there's no way he'll race again.

and pierre's been with him throughout everything, his best friend who he can talk to when he can't bear looking at his own family. so he doesn't understand when pierre tells him he's going to keep racing. when charles had told him he was never going to get into a kart ever again, pierre had nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. important to note that they're barely teenagers rn so yes charles feels betrayed that pierre isn't feeling the same things he is and isn't choosing the same future for himself etc.

they have a huge fight, lots of crying, lots of dramatic teenage angst. but it ultimately ends with charles shutting pierre out of his life. which is easier said than done when it's your best friend whose family is super close with yours. but it works because pierre is off racing around the world and charles has done all he can to never have to think about that stuff.

so charles goes to school, is doing uni somewhere in europe. studies something generic like business or maybe if i'm feeling suuuuper indulgent i will have him major in environmental studies like moi <3 pointedly does not come to monaco during grand prix weekend or the week before or the week after.

and then anthoine passes away too. (they're 20-21 now)

they see each other again at the funeral but don't talk, they meet up afterwards. pierre breaking down in charles' arms, clutching at his back, telling him he was right. pierre should've quit, he can't do this anymore either. they haven't said a word to each other in 7 years but charles still knows pierre, and knows that this isn't actually what pierre wants. or what he should do. (charles vaguely knows pierre's in f1 but doesn't know he's with redbull, doesn't know redbull's the top team etc)

"you can still do this, you will," charles tells him.

"not without you again."

so then comes the challenge of mending their relationship while still working through the shared trauma, and the Layers of past trauma. and also just the general awkwardness that comes with a friendship breakup/makeup situation you know! they can't just act like nothing happened but would it be easier that way?

they start texting first, then they play fifa or cod together. (sometimes pierre's british friend lewis joins too.)

slowly slowly slowly, they become friends again and then inseparable too. maybe even closer than they were before and charles only now realizes how much he missed pierre. while pierre still can't believe he has charles back now, it's as good as he let himself imagine.

the part i'm unsure about is if i would want pierre's career trajectory to be the same or not. because i think the demotion adds SUCH a painful but interesting aspect to his ~storyline. but ultimately i think maybe he just doesn't get the second seat immediately. spends more years with toro rosso/alpha tauri before getting "called up" (sorry i have no idea what the proper terminology is haha ignore the nba/nhl terms).

he invites charles to his first race in the red bull and charles says no. immediately. pierre's quiet on the other side of the phone, internally thinking he messed this up somehow. he thought things were going well and he takes this as charles doesn't want to see him. but he knows there's a lot more that's stopping charles and he also knows charles will definitely pull back if pierre asks about the other stuff. so he moves right along, asking charles about school, the weather, and tries not to let it show in his voice that he misses his best friend and needs him too.

"i'm going to try to watch," charles says, after pierre's yawned goodnight through the phone and is waiting for him to hang up. because you know pierre's not going to hang up first.

"what?"

"the race. i'm going to try. goodnight!" mentally charles slams the phone shut but really he just smashes at the red button before shoving it under his bed and looking at his hands trying to get answers for what he just did.

his only relief is that he didn't promise pierre he would watch, just that he would try. couldn't even choke out a, "good luck." (insert long paragraph about charles letting pierre down or thinking he has).

he only watches qualifying. pierre p3. already knows on saturday that there's no way he can watch the actual race.

but on sunday when he's supposed to be going over his notes for his climate change science & policy course (yes.... i did it...) he finds himself with his heart in his mouth refreshing formula1 dot com. watches the random names move up and down while keeping his eyes on 10 - gasly. (starts shaking for a second when he sees pierre's name drop until the IN PIT sign comes up across his name. fellas the thing about triggers is-- anyways.)

the scariest part is that by the time he's scrolled through all of red bull's socials to look at pictures of pierre on the podium (he finished p2 sorry i know this truly does not matter), he's forgotten about the race. the anxiety sits small in the back of his throat, his happiness for pierre is bright and loud in front of him. charles sends him a message, asking him to call whenever he can and adds a blue & red heart emoji which feels like a Big Step. but basically pierre calls and acts like nothing has happened since the last time they talked. mentions the breakfast he had in detail as if he didn’t get a podium in his first race with red bull. finally with a big team. but charles embarrassingly realizes that maybe his text didn't exactly imply in literally any way whatsoever that he knows the results of the race and was trying to congratulate pierre with this call. charles probably feels so embarrassed at this point but somehow still can't manage to say anything about the race until the next day maybe.

maybe texts pierre, good job. or, you were great. or something about him and not the race. or maybe reposts a picture from red bull but not one of pierre in his car, pointedly. only one of him on the podium. and pierre probably reposts it with the squid emoji and/or my favourite sentence in the world, merci petit calamaro.

charles cries when he reads it.

not to be lazy now but [insert 10k words of them building their friendship. meeting up in monaco with both of their families. meeting in milan or london or paris idk where pierre would live. but he flies charles out. not on a private jet because charles flat out refused lol. not because he's an environmentally conscious king he's just too, embarrassed? overwhelmed? by pierre doing Things Like That for him. even though he wants it lol. like when he graduates he's soooo annoyed that pierre couldn't come celebrate immediately because it was race week. but when he comes home his apartment is filled with flowers (roses, his favourite) and balloons and a giant teddy bear as tall as charles. and he DOES post 12 instagram stories to go with the other 30 from his other friends congratulating him. so yeah charles goes through a lot of personal growth and therapy. to the point where he's watching pierre race again, and waiting for him to invite him to a race again!!! do not even think about actual dates i'm fucking begging you but the one he goes to is monza :))))]

ultimately charles' path to understand/accepting/moving on from, his trauma, happens once he has pierre back in his life. it's also encouraged by pierre, but it's also not entirely because of him. not sure how to word that but yeah. these things are happening at the same time but charles still has to go through them by himself.

pierre takes him on romantic dates all around the world and charles doesn't realize that's what they are. fully in his bestie vibes only mood while pining for pierre in a way he doesn't even quite understand. almost a self deprecating, jeez whoever gets to date pierre is going to be so lucky :/

fanpage on ig: met pierre's alleged bf he's so pretty and sweet, i complimented his shoes and he was so nice. charles reading that: i didnt know he was dating someone :( why wouldn't he tell me :( well at least someone complimented my shoes today :(

pierre doesn't necessarily think they're dating, but he does know charles doesn't quite realize what they're doing so he's just waiting for him to come to terms with it.

not to give this au 10 different subplots but yeah that miscommunication plot becomes our prize for surviving through the first part of this.

but yeah at the last race of the year, that pierre wins because i said so? charles finds him before he goes on to the podium, kisses his helmet. says i love you, i'm so proud of you.

THEN, finally, charles does become pierre's wag. we made it kids. we did it joe.

[exauhstedsunflower]

The queens X Anxiety

Here’s that post I mentioned!!! I got half way through it and fell asleep the first time i tried to write it lmao,

Catalina! V stuck in her head I think. She’d definitely have a more generalized anxiety and most of it would be based on her insecurities. Human interaction fucking baffles her now. It’s worse bc she used to excel in saying the right thing at the right times before. She always is over analyzing things and second guessing herself. But she puts out a front like she’s got it all together and is adapting fine, so she’s also anxious that someone is going to see that she’s a mess. She also low key hates flashing lights and loud noises and it takes a lot out of her the first time she goes to the bustling city in modern day. She’s mostly a homebody bc of these anxieties which makes people think she’s withdrawn and mature, but in reality she’s just too nervous most of the time to have fun. Also doesn’t like fire, so the house has an electric stove. Doesn’t like the ocean or planes. Doesn’t mind public speaking when it’s people who don’t know her but if it’s a group of people who she speaks to all the time she freaks out.

Anne B! Social anxiety. She thinks everyone hates her and does not trust herself to read the room. Her nervous habits are different from Catalinas bc she nervous rambles. Large groups of people kinda make her jittery so she uses that energy to buzz around the room and interact. She doesn’t stop fidgeting. Also is very squeamish. She hates blood and guts in movies, doesn’t like needles, can’t hear about anything related to sharp objects or even broken bones. She covers her scar bc she can’t look at it or think about it without vomiting and having an anxiety attack. Will often talk over things that scare her too. Some other fears are electric scooters, (I know that goes against some peoples hcs but I don’t think she’d like them.) knives for obvious reasons and cats bc one attacked her and made her bleed and she hates blood.

Jane! Suuuuper detached anxiety. She doesn’t even register that she’s having an attack until shes shaking so bad she can’t hold her phone. The denial is real in this one bc she thinks she needs to be strong and not weak. She doesn’t think the city affects her but she definitely walks faster when out. She’s definitely afraid of being manipulated. Also afraid that she’s going to make a bad decision and get someone killed. (Again) Doesn’t like thriller movies or the zodiac signs. Thriller movies make her anxious in a not fun way and she’s freaked out that the stars might decide that people act a certain way. Also low key afraid of anyone the same zodiac as her own or Henry’s. Lastly she hates buffets bc they don’t seem sanitary and she died bc of unsanitary conditions.

Anna! Self conscious to the point that she is constantly trying to make herself better. She works out, she does her makeup, she owns a shit ton of self help books, her diet is Instagram model worthy. Constantly trying to grow and make herself a better person. Her anxiety is that people are going to see her and think she’s not worth their time. Also hates moving vehicles. To her, cars are demon death traps and buses are the same if not worse bc they’re dirtier and bigger. Her worst fear is to be in a car accident so she also has driving anxiety and cannot pass her drivers license test.

Kitty! Oooh boy this one is full of anxiety. She gets hella snarky when she’s anxious so she comes off as rude a lot of the time. The queens take it and laugh when she gets sarcastic but strangers usually won’t want to talk to her again. It’s a defense mechanism after a while bc she is afraid of men and men usually don’t want a rude girl. She will cry if told to walk to the store alone but also is afraid of getting too close to anyone. Other things she’s afraid of include large birds, knives (although she’s not as squeamish as Anne), global warming, the Bermuda Triangle Freaks Her Out, and school settings give her general anxiety. She only feels comfortable learning again when she gets the opportunity to do online school from home.

Cathy! Def afraid of conflict so is super non confrontational. Almost to a sad degree though bc sometimes she should just say she’s uncomfortable and she never advocates for what she wants. Has anxiety about pretty much everything about the modern day. She SO curious but in her experience curiosity gets you beat into the ground so every time she’s around something new and she feels the need to learn more she freaks herself out. Kitty seeks her out to help her learn how to use the online schooling and Cathy panicked but couldn’t say no bc kitty hates being taught things so it was an honor to be asked. She is afraid of dogs, competitive games, and being left alone for too long. (Alone in her room is fine because she knows other people are home, alone in the world is more what that’s about)

[heartbreakgrill]

and to my prior request i have like those round coffee house glasses if there’s any consolation on what glasses i’m talking about lol & can i be on ur tag list? i love ur writing!!

description:

a/n: i am so sorry this took so long! despite quarantine, i’ve been unmotivated lmao. hope you like it!!

Relationships are all about connecting to another person, learning to love every single little thing about them. Because people were so unique, with deep personalities, this could take some time to do. Eventually, you may know everything there is to possibly know, which seems shocking. You still remember the plot line between Jim and Pam on The Office, in which Pam insists there must be something she doesn’t know about her husband. But, she does.

It’s difficult to think about for too long because you’ll find yourself becoming infatuated with the idea of learning as much as you can. So, in this relationship of just two months, you were letting things happen as fate allowed them to. You told Calum things here and there, and he reciprocated.

It would be when a morning when you showed up for breakfast that you learned he preferred tea over over coffee. There’d be a boring day at his house where you’d learn that he and Roy had a rotating chore list, shared in their text messages but sometimes written on the white board in the kitchen.

It was on a Thursday night when Calum learned you liked to be in bed on a work night at 9 pm. He’s wrestled with you, wanting to stay longer, but gave up when he realized how tired you truly were. Finally, there was that time at Ashtons, for a barbecue, when Calum learned you were allergic to strawberries after attempting to romantically feed you the chocolate covered piece of fruit.

But, there was still things neither of you knew about each other.

Friday nights were usually when you had the most fun. You’d spend all weekend together, and it kick it off with some late night Taco Bell runs or trips to Luke’s for a double-date, movie night with him and Sierra. Tonight would be spent in, watching movies, most likely going to get some type of fast food way-too late and, for the first time ever, staying the night at Calum’s house. It was going to be a learning curve for many reasons.

In preparation for your night in, you had already removed your makeup and contacts, coffee-house styled glasses framing your clean face. Your hair was in a bun, Calum’s green Empathy hoodie around your torso, and black leggings adorning your thighs. You drove to Calum’s house with the driver’s side window down, but now the sun was set, and you began to roll it up as a chilly gust of wind blew across the valley.

Soon enough, you were stepping out of your car, tugging the strap of your overnight bag over your shoulder, and shuffling towards Calum’s doorstep. You knocked three times before beginning to rock back and forth on your heels. The door pulled open and Roy grinned down at you.

You offered a polite smile as he stepped aside to let you in, “Hey, Roy. How are you?”

“I’m good, [Y/N], thanks. You?” He stood against the now-closed door, watching as you slipped out of your shoes.

Your voice dropped to a murmur with the lightest pink coloring your cheeks, “Nervous.”

Roy laughed, moving back towards the living room with, “Ah, you’ll be fine.”

As soon as he turned the corner, you heard the Duke’s nails tapping against the hallway floor. He came into the parlor, running as quickly as his little legs would allow. You crouched down, the strap of your bag falling down your shoulder. You shrugged it off further and picked Duke up in your arms. He licked your cheek, tail wagging against the crook of your elbow. You stood upright, moving further into the house.

“Hi, baby,” you nuzzled your nose against the soft fur of his neck, grinning at his comfort.

“Wow, Duke, so quick to abandon me just because [Y/N]’s here,” Calum rounded the same corner, dressed down in a Santa Cruz sweatshirt pulled over his blonde hair and pajama bottoms. He looked so cute, your heart almost melted.

You looked up from the dog, a shy smile adorning your features. “He just misses me.”

“Well, he’s not the only one,” Calum wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close to him as he could with Duke between the two of you. You pulled back slightly, bending down to set Duke on the floor. Calum brought you back against his chest, lips grazing your cheek in a sloppy kiss.

You giggled, writhing away from his lips. Calum’s mouth moved towards your nose, eyes shut, but he pushed so harshly because you were pulling away from him that he bashed his face against your glasses. They fell to the ground and you stumbled into Calums chest, laughing so hard your face burned bright red.

Calum was laughing, too, though it was being dialed down by his guilt and worry for the frames he didn’t even know existed. He managed to grab them from the floor, doing a once over to see if they were okay. They were, save a single Duke hair on the glass, so he handed them over.

You calmed down and slipped them over your ears. Calum’s eyes focused on them, admiring the way they fit your face. He, “didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“I do,” you pushed them up your nose, hand dropping to your side. “Do they look bad? I-“

He grabbed your hand as it moved back up at the frames, fingers intertwining with them, “No, they’re, like really cute. Like super adorable on you.”

You blushed again, chewing on your bottom lip, “Really?”

“I just wanna kiss your face, you’re so cute, Jesus,” Calum grabbed your waist with his free hand. You bumped into his chest, finding your footing with your forearm draped over his shoulders.

“Just dont knock them off again.”

-

Later that night, Calum drove the two of you to Taco Bell. It was chilly, but in spite of that, you cradled a slushee in your hand. Calum was holding the other, intertwined in your lap. He pulled off a road that didn’t lead back to his house, and didn’t answer your questions.

He parked the car on a hill overlooking the city. He pushed up the center consol to reveal the middle seat underneath. With a light tug, he had you under his arm, snuggled against his side. You leaned into him graciously, the scent from his hoodie matching that on his neck.

You closed your eyes for a moment, nearly falling asleep when you felt the slushee slipping from your fingers. A flash, also, woke you from your near passed-out state. Your eyes opened to a photo on Calum’s Snapchat of you and him, in the same position. He was grinning, eyes trained on you. They were flushed with pure adoration and you felt your cheeks redden, chest swell.

“Can I post this on Instagram?” He scrolled through his phone, which was still in your eyesight.

You were slightly taken back, thinking that you looked awful in your glasses, face red from the poor car lighting, and chin nearly doubled because you were so snuggled up. You shook your head of the self conscious thoughts, “Oh, sure, I guess.”

“Hey,” Calum set down his phone and turned so he could meet your eyes. “Youre beautiful, okay? I know it might not be something you agree with or feel and I cant force you to believe, but you are beautiful.”

“Cal, I,” you hesitated, “Ive just always been self conscious of my glasses. You can post the photo, Im just scared that the comments are going to reflect my thoughts.”

Calum opened his phone again, tapping on more buttons than needed. He turned off the comments. Added a caption that said, “My personal (and cuter) Harry Potter.”

You glanced back up at him, cupping his cheek with your free hand. You pressed a kiss to his jaw, holding him against you for longer than a moment. He jerked back only to press his lips against yours.

“I want to make you fall in love with yourself while I do.”

TAGLIST: @mantlereid

[tysukis]

Hi, first(?) AU anon here. I will absolutely dive down this rabbit hole with you. I went a little overboard (sorry?). I absolutely agree with you on your Zuko take. I think we all kind of land there naturally. But I also think that Zuko would latch onto stability the moment he realized he had it. So this is kind of how I see it going down:

I think the band Sokka is part of would be solid. Just a local hit, right? But Sokka is the plans guy, and the aspirations guy, and they can do *so much better*. I 100% do not know how real life musicians work so add a pinch of salt here, but he would absolutely land them a gig as openers to a mediocre niche headliner just by sheer power of phone calls and charm. (He scripted it as much as possible, we all remember how that canon speech went when he winged it, but he knows how to put words together when he has time).

And yeah I love the idea of Zuko being an academic. I'm assuming Ozai is out of the picture for this, and the boy gets to pursue his passions instead of an expectation. Unfortunately, you mix in passion and the general anxiety of a kid who lived under intense scrutiny and you get an adult who gets tunnel vision during spring finals/prep for a conference/etc. So he doesn't quite rise to the occasion when his boyfriend drops this life changing news, he's proud but distracted, and he's already so bad at words in comparison to Sokka that it's just. Lackluster. And he probably meant to meet them at the bar/house party to celebrate after he got home but he's sleep deprived and his phone is dead because he's a disaster sometimes.

So now you've got Sokka stewing on immediate events, and being a little heartbroken because he went all out every time Zuko accomplished *anything*, even if it wasn't super impressive to Zuko himself. And maybe there's a bit of Zuko assuming Sokka doesn't need that reciprocated. He just doesn't vocalize his important needs, so Zuko assumes they're being met, you know? I like the drama of a blown up confrontation but also the idea that Sokka just confronts him sounding hurt and so damn tired of being the emotional one for that long.

But on the other side you have Zuko with his internalized plan that this is his forever person, and he does go to almost every performance even if they don't play his preferred music. And he assumes Sokka is satisfied with this. Maybe because Zuko can't imagine being happier than near his family - the good ones anyway - or because he genuinely thinks Sokka and the band are happy with being local celebrities and leaving it at that. So he plans for permanence. Because he is still a disaster, Zuko probably never vocalized this beyond doing window shopping for apartments or something. Vague jokes about a wedding that Sokka laughs at/agrees with and Zuko interprets as, "Yes I am also thinking about being here with you forever." He's not the wordsmith, he's the pragmatist and love means house shopping and snuggling over takeout and planning trips to visit their distant family together, right? Sokka's confrontation blindsided him, because he thought they were on the same page, and Sokka didn't have to leave to keep playing music, why is that even a thing??

They're both justified in being jaded because they're dumb as hell (affectionate). This isn't an AU for two grown ass men who have put in therapy time, they're both young and full of their own understanding with poor communication skills.

musician au anon!!! hello welcome back thank you so much for this incredible ask, let’s GO

(I’m gonna pop this one under a read more because otherwise this post will be eight miles long lmao)

Honestly I’m wracking my brain with what I can possibly add to this because you’ve got like. A fully fledged outline here my dude and it’s a good one. Do you write? Because you should, if you don’t. I still love the alternative take of Sokka being the one to leave and honestly this pretty much cements how much potential it has. I absolutely adore how you’ve thought about just how the communication would break down between them - and you’re completely bang on the money with it as well. Zuko is fully a hot disaster and would completely just assume Sokka’s needs are being met if he isn’t vocalising them, and we know Sokka, he’s a complainer but when it really comes down to those he loves - he’s known for being pretty selfless and for putting up brave faces. I can totally see Sokka perhaps almost feeling a bit self conscious about how hurt he is by Zuko’s lack of enthusiasm. Because Zuko loves him, right? And it’s just one show, right? So maybe he’s just overreacting, right? Or maybe he’s actually not even that good. Oh no, maybe Zuko hates his music and is just waiting for the right time to break it to him gently. Oh no, oh no, oh no. I think I might have already said it at some point tonight but Sokka would absolutely spiral until he convinces himself that him leaving would be nothing more than simply just leaving before he gets left. And like you said: Zuko  is out here planning a whole future assuming that they’re on the same page, meanwhile he has no idea.

I totally buy Sokka winging his way into a supporting act spot using his charm and charisma, and yeah his speech in canon didn’t go too well but this could likely be over the phone to only one person which would probably make it easier. I was thinking about how Sokka performing would work in conjuncture with his canon almost stage fright/fear of public speaking - and I’m leaning towards the hc that he embodies a sort of persona in front of large crowds and he’s able to let that take over and act casually and confidently no matter the audience.  (source: I am someone who studied acting and excelled in public speaking most of her life despite having a chronic anxiety disorder - playing parts and speaking on stage didn’t feel like ‘me’ because I was always channeling a character either fictional or an alternative version of myself. It works, folks.)

Are we thinking he broke away from the band and went on to succeed in a solo career? As in, he felt being local heroes was a limited pathway? Or did they all go together? Who else would be in it I wonder.

I LOVE your interpretation of Zuko and how the factors under which he was raised would shape him, especially in a modern setting. He would absolutely go into tunnel vision and that perfectionist mindset he was essentially forced into as a kid would probably be alive and well into adulthood. (And yeah, these aren’t men who have been to therapy - yet! - so we’re probably gonna assume that Zuko views this as a Perfectly Normal And Healthy Way To Live And Not At All A Trauma/Survival Response.)

I’m assuming this confrontation is what leads to their break up and then Sokka going off to pursue music further? I wonder, even all their other issues aside, what Zuko thinks about him travelling so far? As you said, we’re operating under the assumption that he doesn’t understand why Sokka couldn’t continue music and stay local. Even if things were perfect between the two, I imagine they still might not see eye to eye on that, which of course would just be another breaking point for them to tack onto the list.

As for their eventual reconciliation, Kaleigh @zukkau with her gigantic brain, said earlier that Sokka being the one to leave could also tie into a whole ‘I couldn’t ask you to uproot your whole life for me’ anxiety (especially if we’re painting zuko as a bit of a homebody here; hates change, likes routine) and that sets up perfectly for a “I would go anywhere for/with you” moment. All this to say that I think that would slot into this (^) narrative nicely.

If you have (or anyone has) anything more to add or touch on I would absolutely love to hear it, I am now fully in love with this AU and all messages and mentions of it are permanently welcome in my inbox and DMs <3 

[phoebehalliwell]

"he like lowkey knows that this in fact stems from his daddy issues and his inferiority complex all coming together to form the desperate need to be wanted" chris, babey?? that sounds like a less than ideal mindset to relationships, but how does that actually work for him?? especially bc like i feel that relationships ending prob don't help with the whole need to be wanted thing?? but also chris just leaning into pretty boy with daddy issues in his love life is A++++ forever, thank you

i think chris’s relationship with heartbreak/relationships ending is actually a really complex one because i think really his first exposure to heartbreak was wyatt’s first breakup with i imagine ws a very big ordeal and left him all heartbroken and he had the rest of the family all cooing over him like it’s okay you’re gonna be okay and y’know chris has also seen movies so he’s like wow haha lmao breakups must be a super soul crushing thing yikes but like when he has his first “break up” (his girlfriend left for college, he was still in high school), he didn’t really feel the same sorta pain and emptiness he though he would maybe bc he always feels pain and emptiness lmao emo bitch. bc i think the way chris actually dates is very different than how wyatt dates. because wyatt throws himself out there heart open looking for his soulmate he can’t help but envision some rose colored future for the two of them and all the wonderful things that could be whereas chris like doesn’t. i think the way he dates is just very an “in the moment” thing. i don’t think he necessarily banks on anything lasting too long because i don’t think his relationships - not only romantic - tend to last that long. where’s that one post here i wrote briefly about how i think chris forms the majority of his friendship on sort of like being separate from wyatt (which is really like a dumb way to pick friends but the boy’s got a lot of complexes). i don’t think he necessarily has close friends at magic school, more just acquaintances or allies, people who are also sorta snarky and quick witted, black sheep and all that. that being said i think he only trains with his siblings or cousins, bc the majority of the outsiders who he hangs out with are outsiders due to their sort of lack of magical prowess. chris may feel like he’s not a super strong witch, but he’s still a charmed one and compared to these kids he’s like all powerful, so he doesn’t tend to practice magic around them. i think his circle in high school was specifically like the misfit edgy stoners and he was like that sophomore that hung out with like a pack of five upperclassmen and i don’t know if that’s actually a common trope or if that just happened a lot in my high school. the point is, as life moves on these people would move on, or in magic school chris would move on to more advanced classes etc. the point is his relationships would just sort of be pulled apart. and he was okay with that because that’s just sort of how things work. so in romantic relationships (of which there have been multiple, but none of them like serious y’know), when people move on they just move on. and chris doesn’t feel much when it comes to that. as previously stated, it’s this “in the moment” thing. chris enjoys being with then in that moment. he can’t say if he’ll want to be with them beyond that; that’s not his concern. wyatt always tries to picture a future, chris doesn’t bother (in part because he always sees his brother do that and definitely thinks that’s a contributing factor as to why wyatt's relationships never last (it lowkey is) and just doesn’t emulate that. it doesn’t take that much effort.)

in regard to the being wanting in a relationship turning sour to being rejected, i’m gonna turn this essay to a little analysis on how exactly i think chris’s complexes manifest. the inferiority one is easy. he is A Lot less powerful than wyatt, and yeah, he’s self conscious about it. having your older sibling be so naturally gifted at something is always uncomfortable because your parents always seem just the wee bit flustered when you struggle at something your older sibling excelled at bc it’s clear they are not familiar with the tools to help you succeed because they haven’t needed them until you. but it’s really chris’s relationship with leo that does the most damage. because, need i remind you, chris has already died in leo’s arms. leo’s chris’s father, he can’t shake off that trauma so easily. on top of that, chris is a lot more vulnerable that wyatt, he doesn’t have nearly as many powers, and wyatt has both a much stronger defensive power and a much stronger offensive power. chris only has telekinesis (at the moment 👀) so whenever there’s some dangerous demon threat blah blah blah, i think leo gets really scared that history will repeat itself and chris will bleed out in his arms once again. so leo almost always enlists wyatt to help, once again, because wyatt’s undeniably stronger and can protect chris. in the fic i write, leo is chris’s whitelighter, and honestly probably never allows chris to go out and battle on his own (which is lowkey part of the reason chris doesn’t tell his dad shit anymore). so the way chris sees it, as he does not know at age 22 he died in his fathers arms, is that his dad doesn’t think he’s good enough. he doesn’t want him going out on his own because he’s not good enough. he would rather send wyatt because wyatt’s better, more talented, good enough. so in chris’s relationships, just the fact that they are choosing him, that, in that moment, he is good enough, that’s what makes it worth it. it doesn’t matter whether it lasts or not, because for that time period, he’s the one being chosen, he’s the one they want, and that’s really all he needs. it doesn’t need to be constant, uplifting, endless dedication. it just needs to be there.

[kinkymagnus]

Do you have nsfw headcanons or just in general about the other Magnus? The one in the other dimension?

you are an ANGEL i was legit about to make a post like “oh... im in the mood for twi magnus porn....If Only I’d Get An Ask About It” *sighs dramatically* 

i dont have any specific ideas in mind right now but i just really love twi magnus? and he deserves to be RAVISHED? 

so im just gonna Ramble.

like ok first of all i like to think that twi magnus is,, hm, kind of sensitive

both bc a) canon magnus is touch starved but twi magnus was like “haha you are like a little baby” and isolated himself almost completely for like a century without even hookups and shit, so like. someone PLEASE give my boy some affection. (i am using boy jokingly do not come AT me) and b) ok this is bullshit im making up but i do not care. magnus’s magic has just woken up and didn’t he like canonically say it was part of how he felt/experienced the world? even if he didn’t it’s canon now, fuck you, and like..... it’s waking up again and he feels like he’s opened his eyes for the first time in years, or taken a breath of fresh air--

oh my god i just had. the thoughts. on like, adhd twi magnus and sensory overload. like hnngngnffffhghhhhh fuck fuck he has moments where it’s all too much and he’s feeling different things and his magic is both soothing/helpful while also making it worse kind of, and like, he can hide under a bunch of blankets or take a long shower and like i feel like there’s more here but its just not coming right now.... although i do want alec to help him thru this bc living vicariously through fictional characters but it’s fine 

anyway ayfkjs back to what i was saying 

twi magnus is pretty sensitive and it’s not like he’s actually inexperienced or really even that shy--he’s quieter, and i feel more flustered and out of practice than canon magnus for sure, but it’s not like he’s blushing deeply at the mention of sex or anything. i love the imagery of twi alec, confident dom, being worried on how he’ll gently ease his sweet soft boyfriend who dresses in modest cardigans and the like into bdsm, if he’ll even like it (oh boy would he look so beautiful in handcuffs, or just tied up and begging and helpless, but obviously alec only wants to do that if magnus would enjoy it)... and then he tries to bring it up and twi magnus, who’s distracted, casually mentions his Sex Cabinet(TM) full of toys and bdsm gear

bc he’s not a prude, he was just like.... isolated. and alone. and kind of frightened. but it’s not like he doesn’t know what sex and kink is, or that he doesn’t enjoy it. 

and maybe he blushes a little when he realizes what he’s juts casually revealed--namely, that he loves to be tied up and spanked and called a slut or whatever (magnus just casually talking without like really thinking about what he’s saying if he’s hyperfocused on doing something else, like brewing a potion or painting a tarot card or whatever, and alec loves to ask him harmless little questions and just listen to him ramble on--adhd magnus!)--but alec is just like not only are you precious and cute, you’re also sexy as hell and the hottest man alive

but really tho alec’s just like :O because magnus’s collection is even more extensive than his, DAMN. not what he expected. but you know under all those cute thick layers twi magnus is still, and i say this with deep love and affection, a total cumslut :) 

also he’s just a deeply beautiful and wonderful person but you know we’re talking about SLUTTIN’ IT UP IN HERE

so like anyway magnus. sensitive. stay on topic this time. alec loves touching him all over and pulling noises out of him, kissing him and teasing him and just generally like... one, taking full advantage of him being sensitive (again this is more jokey and i don’t think alec would necessarily stereotype him like this, but i have this image of twi alec thinking he’s a virgin because he’s so sweet and modest and like, so sensitive, just a few dirty words get him so wet, and alec can get him to cum so fast, so like, their first time with penetrative sex alec is out here giving him the most sweet and romantic first time he can, and like, he would have done that anyway but it does feel weirdly special taking his virginity, even though twi alec, woke bitch, is fully aware virginity is a social construct. and then magnus, in a fucked-out post “just got dicked down so good” haze, says that was the best and biggest dick i’ve ever taken and alec’s like,,,,,,,, ah!) so like

touching him, kissing him, making him cum over and over and over again, and like with magnus’s persmission of course he just loves to fuck magnus senseless and make him orgasm over and over until he’s just a wrecked little mess and he’s all fucked out and whining and incoherent :’)

two, like..... ok idk why but i love the idea that twi magnus at first just... cums kind of fast. like their first time alec slides in (and this is after he’s already eaten magnus out and teased his clit a bunch) and magnus is already coming just from that. and he thinks its embarassing lowkey but alec’s just like 1. you’re cute 2. that was super hot 

like literally alec buried himself inside magnus and he immediately came and looked so gorgeous doing it? alec is DOWN FOR THIS.

over time he builds up a stamina again and honestly it doesn’t take that long but like. just those first few times it’s way too soon and magnus is like hiding his face in alec’s shoulder and alec’s telling him how beautiful he is :’)

also ok canon magnus is a screamer and he’s def like... kind of been taught to hold that back, but generally, he’s still pretty loud in bed and with alec it’s not long before he’s confident enough to let himself be

twi magnus tho... he’s firmly like. idk if repressed is the right word, but he’s not letting himself express himself and he certainly isn’t letting himself make pathetic little noises when alec fucks him so like. he’s always biting back loud moans and stopping himself from screaming

but alec starts getting so good at pushing all his buttons (and that first time he came with alec’s dick inside him he couldn’t help the obscene moan he made and alec loved it so much it was so hot) and like, making him lose control that he starts fucking little noises out of magnus more and more until eventually magnus is barely able to stop the whimpers and whiny breathless moans spilling from his lips as alec fucks him and like 

after much coaxing, alec taking full advantage of how sensitive he is, and a few small emotional talks, like... they do eventually get to the stage where twi magnus’s inner screamer is free to scream and beg all he wants :’)

but it still comes after a lot of teasing usually and (with magnus’s consent ofc) alec just.. ADORES coming up with scenarios where he gets to like, (usually after tying magnus up) drive magnus crazy with teasing and then basically fuck him so good he “”breaks”” and ends up being a loud little slut the way they both like it, even if magnus feels like he has to be “pushed” or “made” to do it in order to let himself. obviously he consented to being “”made”” to do it and all that, but like a) he just really, really enjoys alec’s methods of “breaking” him (im a slut for alec consensually!!! “breaking” him into being a little slut ive talked about this with friends many times) and b) it just feels... more ok that way, with weird brain logic that makes him more comfortable and less self conscious with being loud and embarrassing like that

also lmao “man i feel embarrassed when im loud in bed because of my insecurities and shitty past relationships. i know! i’ll make it part of my humiliation kink” 

i feel like twi magnus has less of exhibitionist/humiliation kink than canon magnus, although he def likes it, especially the humiliation/praise aspect (i feel like those two absolutely have to be intertwined for him to enjoy it tho), which like with. canon magnus it’s like aw, big powerful prince of hell crying and begging like a slut, while with twi magnus he is powerful but it’s less controlled so it’s more about how he’s so put-together and modest and “shy” and quiet but here he is taken apart completely, stripped bare and taking cock so beautifully 

but like twi magnus............let him be wooed..........he deserves it... i feel like he’d just be even more into being wooed and just little domestic affectionate things than canon magnus (again both him and canon magnus are the same person in different circumstances and i feel like generally they like the same things, just at different levels, canon magnus also enjoys domestic romance and wooing) but like twi magnus while i think he def would like humiliation kink (albeit mostly in private--maybe once they’ve been married a few centuries he’d be ready for something more hardcore but i feel like he generally would be more private about this, and eventually he might feel safe enough to do that again but like....mmm you know? idk.) i think he would be more into praise kink, and like, while canon magnus is more “mm humiliation kink with a side of praise :)” and loves the praise but also loves alec wrecking him and calling him a filthy little slut and leading him around on a leash, twi magnus is more “mm praise kink with a side of humiliation :)” and he likes alec calling him a slut still but he likes even more when alec strokes his hair and tells him he’s pretty and he’s being so good, and like, he likes being called beautiful and being kissed all over and yes, he definitely like being called a beautiful messy little slut, and being teased, but generally he prefers gentle and soft. that’s not to say he doesn’t want to be manhandled and fucked sometimes, but you know how it is

hey tho one thing canon and twi magnus completely agree on? Being A Cumslut. as they deserve 

they love their creampies what can i say (just little! pastries! that alec makes specifically for him!) 

but like really tho they both love it 

god tho just the imagery tho like.... twi magnus with his cute lil short hair and like his more just overall soft look? and like twi alec, all confident with styled hair and a suit? let them dance! let alec sweep him off his feet and then carry him to bed and they’re laughing and they fall back on the bed and alec’s on top of him, kissing him, and they’re smiling and magnus just feels so happy and loved and alec is just touching him all over and kissing him eagerly, feeling so lucky he gets to have this beautiful man in his arms, under him, in his bed, and like, alec ravishing him, taking off all those layers and finding silk panties and magnus is a little blushy but also like... daring alec to take them off with his teeth you know like ;) 

like sure he’s blushing a little (just a little! and like god again the imagery of twi magnus in pretty lingerie just a little flushed but still very eager? aaaAAAAA) but also he very much did this on purpose (not that he could have tripped into them and then gone about not realizing but you know what i mean) with every intent of having alec fuck him in them (or having alec take them off immediately, either way) 

also tipsy twi magnus being a giggly affectionate bitch who like has zero restraint and will koala alec without shame. he’s so fucking cuddly. and twi alec, “manwhore” extraordinaire, supposedly the heartbreaker playboy type but secretly a romantic at heart, is just giving him the hugest heart eyes and wrapping his arms around him and cuddling him back (also drunk twi alec just being like canon alec’s wedding vows constantly like just. long eloquent rambles on how perfect magnus is. like, drunk twi alec is just facedown on someone’s couch at a party, monologuing about how beautiful magnus is, while tipsy twi magnus is just snuggled into his side, pressed as close as possible and for once unashamed and not shy at all about this,)

god actually tipsy twi malec--twipsy? lmao--having just super giggly affectionate loving gentle sex tbh, magnus is wearing panties and alec tries to take them off sexily but fails completely and they’re both just laughing and loving the moment and enjoying each other??

also again drunk twi magnus being incredibly cuddly and shameless and loud is amazing to me. he will happily give alec a lap dance, but he’ll also happily just koala him and demand alec be his big spoon. alec is thrilled to see him openly asking for what he wants and initiating cuddles bc he knows magnus adores cuddles and affection but feels like he can’t ask for it, so even if it’s temporary and bc of alcohol he still loves seeing magnus so open about it and like, feeling safe enough to be vulnerable with him on this

also tipsy twi magnus using magic willy nilly and he has a hard enough time controlling his magic normally this is so much worse but luckily he only gets drunk with alec after alec knows so alec is just watching in awe as magnus hums and happily dances around the loft and flowers grow impossibly at his feet

and like also just generally he has trouble controlling his magic like things floating around him absentmindedly, or things changing color, or blue sparks on his hands without him realizing... and like im like picturing alec accidentally startles him and he makes the most adorable little squeak alec’s ever heard and then alec’s knocked back a little so he basically just falls over and not even that hard but magnus is like ohmyGODOHMYGODIMSOSORRY and he freaks out a bit and alec’s like it’s ok sweetheart im fine, i’m not even bruised, and also, even if i was: absolutely worth it for that cute little squeak  

AND THE TIPSY SEX THING LIKE ALEC’S KISSING UP HIS NECK AND MAGNUS IS GIGGLING AND FEELING SO HAPPY AND THEIR CLOTHES ABRUPTLY VANISH AND ALEC’S LIKE...........CONVENIENT! AND DOESN’T FREAK OUT AT ALL like magnus has a brief moment of cold almost sober like oh shit what if ive pushed too far and then alecs like god babe youre so talented

and !!! HIS CAT EYES god twi alec had not expected magnus secretly being an immortal warlock would come with sexy cat eyes (of course his brown eyes were also so warm and beautiful and alec loved them) but like he was thrilled they did and distantly he was like should i be more freaked about this? maybe. but honestly he looks so beautiful and he looked way more frightened than he should ever look that i wouldn’t like them, or worse, and that’s crazy bc they’re beautiful and he’s beautiful and i love them

and also he wants to see them full of pleasured tears LOOK I M A S LU T OK 

but like ok one last go i just..... twi magnus and bondage, as he deserves, 

he like, has been strictly controlling himself and isolating himself and protecting himself so long it’s hard to let go so he honestly really loves it when alec ties him up and fucks him into incoherence, makes him lose control, and like. he gets to be helpless and just let go and feel the pleasure, and alec “”makes”” him scream and beg and take it so prettily, coaxes the sluttiest of noises out of him, and like just

twi magnus looks particularly pretty all tied up and naked bc he’s normally so modest and covered up, so he looks even more gorgeous and slutty legs spread and all tied up, wet and flushed and begging for alec, and alec likes to kiss his little tits and grab his thighs and eat him out until he’s sobbing with pleasure, tease his clit and make him squirt until he’s just achingly wet and sobbing and begging for more, and alec takes pity on him and fucks him nice and hard, fills him up, and just like

again gets him out of his shell, gets him to be loud and shameless and pretty and “broken” and afterwards he’s all fucked out, alec’s taken good care of him and he’s all relaxed and he feels so safe??? and like it feels so good to be vulnerable with alec??? he’s all warm and snuggled into alec’s side and he just. has come a long way. 

[astralastrid]

USUK/UKUS survey by @americapersonified

Tagged by @hariible so here we go!

In what decade did they officially become involved?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

The fics have ruined me. So I'd probably say during or after WWII. Plus that's when the "Special Relationship" was coined.

Who tops? (USUK or UKUS?)

*Looks at the UKUS server I made* idk you tell me

Honestly though Arthur probably has more relationship experience, so he's more confident and willing to take the lead. Alfred is actually secretly shy and modest about this stuff! (I mean, I do think we Americans are more conservative and modest when it comes to romance?) Plus like, Alfred finally feels like he can trust someone and let them take care of him, that he's loved when the whole world mocks him... Whoops got a little angsty there

Was either of them a virgin before their first hookup?

It's time for me to unveil my demi!America headcanon that's just me projecting aw yeah

Alfred is. He actually thought he was ace before he met Arthur because he was never interested in that kind of stuff, preferring to cuddle instead. But once he met Arthur he trusted that he'd take care of him and stuff and wanted to try it.

If not, to whom did each lose his virginity?

Alfred to Arthur.

Arthur to? Idk Francis probably? I do see FrUk as like, a past thing. Along with SpUk and PortEng. So one of them probably.

(Read more bc LONG post)

Are they more patient with each other in private, or do they bicker/tease each other all the time?

Haha projection time 2.0

Bro, like, a good relationship should have teasing anyway (unless your partner isn't ok with it!) so definitely. But Alfred actually gets self-conscious about the things that Arthur teases him about so he has to stop and tell him how much he loves him and stuff. But in general they're more patient because they've come to understand each other and love the other's quirks.

Will they ever get married?

Yeah but after a while. Alfred wants to do it right away but Arthur rejects him, saying that the don't need rings to prove that they love each other. He promises he will eventually. I like to think after gay marriage legalized in the States they celebrated by getting married.

If so, where will the wedding be held? (Add other details if you wish.)

Hopeless romantic Ame time!

Can you have more than one ceremony? No? Oh well. Summer wedding in America, Fall Wedding in England. I don't know much about wedding planning but I read a headcanon that was like "their vows were so beautiful it made everyone cry" and I support that. Both of them cry during the other's too. Lots of tears shed on both sides during everything. Lots of white and silver and gold because yeah. None of this stupid "one of them wears a dress" business. Like, it's ok for a relationship to be masc/masc and fem/fem like don't heteronormalize it. So two tuxes. Probably no "walking down the aisle?" Maybe they both come in from the sides idk. A cheer when they kiss. "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis is their first dance. Arthur probably sings "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" after their first dance. Wedding cupcakes is galaxy brain so wedding cupcakes. Multiple flavors.

At whose house do they most often stay together?

Alfred's. It's larger anyway.

Do they refer to each other by their nation names or human names?

Human names. Nation only for business.

What pet names do they have for each other?

Arthur: Love, (The most common one) Darling, Dearest, Dear, Poppet (2nd most common) Alfie (extremely rare, or when drunk. Alfred adores when he calls him this though.)

Alfred: Babe, Baby, Artie, Art, Honey, Sweetie, Sweetiepie, Sweetheart, Sweetcheeks.

Who drives?

Both, Alfred loves to drive! But Arthur gets nervous because Alfred can drive like a New Yorker, (that is, aggressively, quickly, a bit dangerously, lots of honking from him and others) especially when he's in a rush or late, and god help everyone when he has road rage.

So Arthur judges the mood and insits if he knows Alfred is probably gonna drive like that.

Is Alfred good at making Arthur’s tea?

Dude of course. It's never quite perfect of course, but you don't date someone for decades without learning how to make their lifeline. In this vein Arthur also knows how to make Alfred's coffee. (And since this isn't a question, Alfred likes it blacker than black in the mornings, and all sugared and creamered up after work and in the evenings.)

It’s universally accepted that Arthur sucks at cooking. Does Alfred enjoy cooking? Is he good at it? Or does he usually stick to McDonald’s and fast food?

Ok yeah but I headcanon Arthur can bake, like really well. Ok yeah I know about his scones but maybe he's just bad at making those specifically.

Alfred loves to cook. He loves to grill even more. But he likes to experiment and try new stuff and he's damn good at it (because cooking is just another science!) So his meals are like comfort food. Almost restaurant quality. Boy could be a chef. But he also loves his fast food and instants. (Kraft's Mac and Cheese is so good.) And yeah he loves Mickey D's but have y'all ever been to like, Noodles and Company or Sonic? Like, there are some GOOD fast food joints and I'm sure he loves them all. Arthur probably doesn't like burger joints but does like places like Panera.

Do they shower together? (Often; not specifically for sex.)

Sometimes? Idk man it's hard as shit to wash your back so yeah? Also the tenderness of giving your lover a bath? I'm🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Who smells better? (In your opinion.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

People just smell like, people, and to the other they each smell like home.

How vocal are they in bed?

Alfred’s so LOUD lmao. But Arthur loves it. If he was more of a memelord he'd record and make a remix of his sounds.

Who has the more active libido?

Definitely Arthur.

Is spending time together easy, or are they forced apart for long periods at a time?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't know how politics work? Do important government officials have to be there in person for meetings?

Let's have two senarios here:

Let's say they do, and they have to be apart for periods of time. Both the boys have separation anxiety and HATE being apart, so there's always the fear and the paronia and concern when they are apart, and they have almost daily video chats. It's really hard on both of them. They text and call often too. They miss the other dearly. When they reunite they kiss and cuddle like they need it to survive. They're much more affectionate with each other and spend every moment they can together to "recharge" before the "hyper-affectioness" goes down. Leaving is super difficult. Lots of tears and hugs, promises to be back asap, longful stares and apologies. Cursing their job and such. Desire to quit or face the consequences and just stay. (Which is completely blocked by the other.)

Let's say somehow they work something out and they can spend long amounts of time together with minimal travel. Sometimes they get into fights or just get on each other's nerves or just need some alone time. Alfred will go run or excercise while Arthur goes to a café until they're ready to make up/miss and want to see the other. Business trips help keep tensions low, but they're still painful.

Are they wealthy? Or do they live modestly?

I’d say like average people. Arthur probably likes it a bit more tasteful and stylish though, so little hints of wealth. Also, Arthur basically has a library for his book collection that acts as his study and Alfred has his own study and a gaming room. They have the prettiest garden you ever did see though. And a really nice patio. With a nice backyard and grill.

For Alfred specifically: Glasses on or glasses off?

On! Except in the bedroom.

How often do they break up?

Rarely if at all. They probably did once and missed the other so badly that they promised never to do it again, and always talk it out. Sure they get into fights and one of them will storm off, but they both understand that that usually means the other needs to cool down before they can talk.

Open relationship?

No.

Did Arthur actually care for Alfred before the American Revolution?

I really want to say yes, because of how it was portrayed, but honestly? I don't think the U.S. was any different from England's other colonies. He'd occasionally check up on all of them, but he was super surprised at how fast America grew.

Of course once the war happens he's riddled with regret. Maybe if he treated him better this wouldn't have happened. War with a colony for their independence is ugly anyway. Even after the war, I don't think England was as heartbroken as it was portrayed. I think he was depressed about it for a while, but eventually got over it. It still took him, like any colonizer, a while to see him as an equal though, which infuriated America. However they are both completely over it and don't talk much about it anymore. It's all in the past for them.

@milopottz (I know we don't interact but 👀)

Tag people if you want, so

Also @alifeasvivid and @anyone who wants to

[house-of-tykayl]

cystar tho (headcanons)

imagine

cyborg and starfire are the cuddliest couple ever. the PDA is incredible. star will perch on his shoulders like he’s a climbing post/bird perch and generally just drape herself all over him bc he’s got a lot of surface area and she wants comfy. and cy will just grab her out of midair for huggles before letting her float away again like a balloon headed straight for the atmosphere. star will float higher when she wants to look over his shoulder at something (bc hes the only titan taller than her) and sometimes cy will just reach up and touch her waist and lead her around in the air like that while they chat

the other titans support them, but are simultaneously disgusted by the excessive amount of PDA. cy sometimes milks star’s affection to troll everyone, especially at the breakfast table. “hey star i havent had my morning kiss today” “oh apologies” “do that long tongue thingy again babe” “if you two dont let me eat my waffles in peace for just ONE morning i will open a portal to the seventh circle of hell and chuck the both of you inside”

star is living for the unabashed affection bc cyborg has no qualms about being proud boyfriend in public. like he’ll wrap an arm around her and go “hey star’s my girlfriend :)” and the grocery store clerk’s like “we know, that’ll be $15.99″ and star’s just beaming, holding the plastic bags full of snacks and unorthodox food combinations

if cy’s generous with the lovin wait till you see star lmao. “you are looking most beautiful today!” she keeps saying shit literally no one else will say, either (possibly) coz of the robot thing or just coz starfire’s being starfire, and cyborg’s just like *clutches_chest.jpeg* because she a lil weirdo but she makes him feel normal and appreciated and that he’s great the way he is, that he’s desired even if a lot of him isn’t organic anymore. like yes!! my boyfriend is comprised of 80% robotic parts!! he is extremely strong and the “cool”!!! is he not absolutely wonderful???

ok but starfire can almost never get enough touching, and cyborg’s just like aight *picks her up and carries her around on his arm for an hour* and she’ll just be giddy the entire time

more under the cut

star doesnt have a lot of preconceived notions of what a normal human relationship is, outside of things she sees on TV and robin’s incomprehensible push-pulling over the years. so she doesn’t care one bit about the fact that she’s cuddling a robot. she’d figured starting a relationship with anyone on earth would be something different for her regardless– so a lot of the things cyborg used to think a partner would find problems with, end up not happening because man, this alien chick. “may i lay together with you in your bed?” “girl are you saying you wanna sleep while standing up?? on my charging port???? surrounded by 3478012 cables and wires?????” “is there no room? then may i sleep on the floor?” she just wants to be with him

heck more bed shenanigans would involve like, cyborg awkwardly trying to lie down on star’s bed, and it feels weird coz he hasn’t slept in a real bed for years and while it feels nice he’s kinda sinking into the mattress and he’s self-conscious about leaving a dent in the frame?? or like rolling over at night and squashing star which would be awkward coz he’s more than a little heavy?? then star hops in and cuddles close and is all like shhhhhhhhh slep time

silkie is usually very happy about cyborg’s presence in star’s room, if only because he can gnaw on cy’s legs while they sleep. cy begins to think it’s also revenge since there’s a lot less space on the bed with himself in it, and silkie struggles to find room near starfire to sleep at night. they eventually just get a bigger bed. silkie is a lot less stressed– but cyborg still wakes up with chew marks in his legs

if either of them are too tired from a battle that day, the other will carry them to bed. BB laughed his ass off the first time he saw starfire princess carrying cy to his room (star’s perfectly capable of carrying his weight but her arms aren’t necessarily long enough to hold onto him properly, making it a little cumbersome and awkward), but cy just tiredly gives B the finger

cy will talk to star in awkward broken tamaranian and she’ll get all giggly. everyone else assumes it’s cute flirting, but he’s actually whispering dirty, raunchy shit. that she taught him. and she continues to teach him tamaranian, occasionally dropping new words while otherwise speaking english, and waiting for him to ask about what they mean.

cy will sometimes smack star’s ass and then run for his life before she can return the favor, because he always ends up with an overly-enthusiastic handprint-shaped dent in his ass. it’s a terrifying game of tag. BB will chase them chasing each other with a camera to add to his album of “cyborg’s dented ass” photos that he shares with the whole titans network

cy teaches star about the niches in earth/american culture, the kinds of things that are a little harder to learn about on your own, or things she otherwise wouldn’t have had a reason to learn. he tells her about old american tv shows and explains obscure slang words and how to make telemarketers hang up first and what the contra code is and why he mashes it in every time he boots up a new video game. it’s a crash course mix of useless trivia and miscellaneous culture that makes star’s head spin– but she’s excited about learning all the same, the power of just knowing more makes her feel more comfortable on a planet where she is always a foreigner

it’s kinda why star adores all the different nicknames cy has for her like “fly girl” “baby doll” etc because it makes her feel “in” coz she gets all these cool nicks of names like other earth people!! she fits in!!!! and he’ll say it so fondly it makes her blush half the time. cy definitely notices and thinks its super cute at how excited she gets over pet names. she tries to nickname him back at one point but it felt awkward and she struggled to come up with them, and cy reassured her that he liked her saying out his name anyway, its cool. just be yourself babey

cy loves teaching star things in general, he’s patient and she’s always an eager student. he once took a few hours showing her how to play video games and while she didn’t really take to it, she did learn how to not break the controller whenever her virtual car’s about to crash into the divider (she still shrieks when it happens though)

initially, star is a bit nervous about touching some of cyborg’s robot parts like the implants and consoles coz she’s not sure how to deal with them? alien tech is one thing and earth tech is another, and then there’s the advanced shit that made up cyborg’s body and literally keeps him alive. she’s petrified at the thought of accidentally breaking something like what if she presses the button that turns off his lungs???????? and cy is like why the fuck would i have a button to turn off my lungs?? so one day cy just sits her down so she’s leaning back against his chest, and he looks over her shoulder as he shows her how to navigate his arm console. press this button and choose this option, no the screen wont break even if you press hard, dont use the browser to download malware on my arm like BB did, etc. the ui’s pretty intuitive and star gets it pretty quickly, then she gets all excited. cy teaches her about all the maintenance he does on his body and how his charger works and all that shit and she like oooooo

“if the t-car is your baby, does this mean i am its mother? cyborg does she like me enough? should i assist in changing her oil? *panicking* WILL SHE ACCEPT ME AS HER ADOPTED K’NORFKA?!”

(the t-car is a sassy one, easily jealous and protective– but ultimately, she does approve of starfire, if only just barely)

they spend a lot of time in the garage together. whether cy’s fussing with the t-car or putting together a new gadget, star’s a helpful assistant when it comes to welding or heavy lifting. and while she doesn’t necessarily get programming, she still helps cy with all the calculations and math involved in it; the concept of physics as she has encountered on earth is primitive compared to tamaran, and cy will often challenge her to crack a tough equation before his computer can. while the computer usually gets a result first, star will just explain that its answer was wrong in the large scheme of things, before she starts going in depth into that nerdy science shit to find a more effective way to wire whatever project they’re working on and cy’s just like  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heart eyes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at how smart she is

they fucking love food. while all the titans are hanging out in the common room, star and cy spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. star will literally eat anything, at any time, and cy would go like “yo star want a sub??” and shes like “YES I WOULD LOVE THE EDIBLE SUBMARINES” and they go make the tallest sub ever and then Eat it

they just cook together a lot, one of them being head chef for the hour and the other being the kitchen assistant. cy’s usually in the lead when they’re making food for the other titans (to prevent food poisoning), and star is happy to learn new recipes that aren’t lethal to her friends– that, and licking all the mixing bowls clean. cy purposely gets sauce etc on his face so that star will see and lick it off too. then star will very unsubtly smear food on her face so that cy will wipe it off with his finger and then things get handsy. (they’re both aware it’s a game, but they pretend like they don’t.)

cy gets them matching aprons and a tiny chef hat for star. she asks him why it’s so tiny or even necessary but he just thinks its cute af on her lol

it helps cy’s ego when star will also eat literally anything he puts in front of her while enjoying it unironically. of course, cy quickly learns that starfire’s favorite “earth” foods are things that most people wouldn’t consider food at all, so while he’ll prepare Real Food for himself, he had to start a new custom cookbook for the random combinations of ingredients that starfire likes to ingest. he’s torn between feeling like his chef skills go to waste on her, or being proud at how good he’s become at figuring out the kinds of food combos she likes based on the flavors and consistencies she’s inclined to. but ultimately she’s just so cute and happy when she smiles at the taste of m&ms on raw steak that cyborg’s just like ahh. fine.

cyborg: *sighs while writing* “edamame in a cherry-chocolate reduction: get a handful of fresh edamame, washing is optional, pour hershey’s chocolate sauce all over it, add cherries but don’t remove the pits or the stems, sprinkle in some drops of 7up, then cover that shit in mustard. stick it all in the microwave for 1 minute, doesn’t really matter what temperature? prep time: 3 and a half minutes. the fuck did i just write”

star: *wolfs down that edamame shit like its the best goddamn thing ever*

raven:

meanwhile, while cy can’t stomach star’s tamaranean food, he does go out of his way to learn how to prepare the stuff himself, for whenever star’s sick or feeling down. the nostalgic taste of home tends to help her feel better. the bowls of wustlepus might keep trying to strangle him, but hey, cy can handle it

cy used to think we was master of stuffing his face, but he quickly found out that you do not challenge an alien with 9 stomachs to an eating competition and expect to win. it’s still fun, of course, to pick a restaurant and watch her slowly but surely put away food with a grace that cy doesn’t (care to) have. robin and BB cheer will them on, raven is disgusted but plays referee anyway (even though it’s not like the result ever changes)

“are the table manners required for today’s duel of excessive food consumption?” star will ask cy innocently, but she’d be smiling a lil smugly because she knows she’s gonna win like always

(at some point, the restaurant manager will start eyeing them nervously from the doorway of the staff room, unsure about whether to ask the titans to leave before they run the kitchen dry, or to take advantage of the publicity.)

cy and star are a couple that isn’t inclined to subtle about anything. that means smooching all the time. mwah noises. flirting. glomps. yelling at shit together for fun– cy just expresses himself loudly, while shouting at each other is a form of affection on tamaran. they’ll sometimes wrestle, sometimes arm wrestling and sometimes all out full-body on the floor (actual wrestling tho, not a innuendo; star usually wins). they keep denting walls and furniture with their messing around and the other titans are like /(e_e)\ *passing out earplugs* and at some point robin is like guys… just… keep it in your rooms please

but being loud isn’t exclusive to daytime. nobody fucking knows how the hell an alien and a robot get it on, but based on all the god damn noise at night, they’ve apparently figured something out. maybe more than one something. it is a mystery

“hey, star… ever heard of a vibrator?”

most of their making out happens in the gym tho, let’s be real. they’ve been checking each other out for years in there. now they just get frisky after (or during, or before) a workout, culminating in yet another “workout”. they never lock the door, and after enough incidents the other titans just end up boycotting the gym entirely in lieu of the other training room

with the added privacy, star opts to work out in the gym without a top on. or a bra. then she heads for the treadmill

“you never wear clothing, cyborg, so why should i?”

cyborg keeps dropping his weights on himself and just ends up covered in dents, two mangled prosthetic legs, and having done no training at all

they’re such a peppy excited pair that sometimes things can get a bit too wild. there’s a pile in the back of cy’s room made up solely of dented/crushed/melted/ripped arm and leg prosthetics, all damaged because cy was busy pampering his superpowered alien gf a lil too much. starfire feels super bad but cy is like, he has to fix his limbs after a lot of battles anyway, it’s no big deal. he also hasn’t bothered to suggest a workaround yet because watching her lose control is hot (and maybe getting his hand melted is kinda kinky)

they sometimes troll the other titans– usually robin– by whispering in tamaranian behind them and snickering, pretending like they’re talking about them. robin used to be extra miffed by this, but after learning that cy’s tamaranian is actually still shit enough that he has yet to learn to string together a proper sentence longer than 3 words, robin knows they’re just fucking around with him. at one point robin turns around on the couch and throws some tamaranian right back at them and cyborg’s like :O what the fuck? what the fuck?? and star’s like yeah actually robin asked me to teach him tamaranian too. and robin’s like :) and cy is grumpy he can’t antagonize him with it anymore (and that it’s not exclusively his and star’s code language anymore, but really, you can’t own a language like that)

star likes to cart cy around while flying, but he’s just so bulky that he doesnt look all graceful and shit like robin; he just looks kinda goofy dangling in the air with her holding him under the arms. but even if he felt a little self-conscious, he forgets it quickly when she lets him skim the ocean with his feet or take him up over the clouds– he’d thought he lost everything with the accident that left him a robot, but getting to fly like this is something he never could’ve even dreamed of even when he was all human. like. this must be what it actually means to be living. everything happens for a reason

cy gets a UV lamp installed in his body just in case they get stuck somewhere and there’s no sunlight for star, he can’t replace the sun but it might help

he also turns his heaters up a bit when they’re cuddling coz he knows she likes warmth, as long as he’s not running the risk of overheating his system, but his metal parts can be cold to the touch and while she doesnt mind it at all he just wants her to be cozy….

cy’s like the only titan taller than star, so she usually floats to be eye level with him. he big and bulky and strong and he reminds her of galfore, and that’s part of why she always felt protected and safe around him. not to mention star’s been getting taller than most earth people her age; she sometimes feels like a tall poppy, sticking out of the crowd too much. so she lowkey enjoys being smol for once compared to cyborg, especially if she ever feels like hiding behind him, or being carried by him, the comfort of a sort of bodyguard that she doesn’t necessarily need but is there if she wants

i keep bringing this up but star sitting on cyborg’s shoulders/arms like. the result is this tall stack of a couple that towers over all the other titans– then like everyone will be chilling on the couch when they hear making out noises from above and they look up and its just star floating around cyborg’s head as they smooch and everyone’s like -_-

all the meme fun aside, they’re always able to confide in each other whenever they’re upset. they’ll sit together in silence and just lean on each other or hug and wait for someone to spill. if (when) it comes down to “will i ever fit in?”, because that kinda worry never completely goes away, they’ll be reassured that they know the few places they’ll always be accepted– and that’s in the titans, or in the unconventional relationship between a half robot and an alien nuclear bomb

star likes being around cy coz he’s so sturdy, in more ways than one– he’s strong enough to tank stuff so it’s safer to roughhouse with him. she loves being able to give the biggest of hugs without worrying too much about crushing a ribcage (earthlings and their Fragile Little Bones!)

cy loves how small star is compared to him bc shes fun to pick up or pluck from the air and cuddle ♥ and she’s so warm, just radiating heat both literally and metaphorically and she’s so full of life and heart, and cy’s once again reminded of what it really means to be human– by a goddamn alien, no less

they like to touch each other’s faces, just caressing n stuff like they do in “how long is forever” and the teen titans go comic #24, staring into each others eyes and shit and going all (uwu) they just love to touch each other okay even back when they were just friends!!!!!!!

HAVE I MENTIONED THE SMOOCHES. star will just kiss cy all over his face because its fun and she knows he likes it. then cy returns the favor, except with increasingly exaggerated kissing and nomming noises because it makes star laugh and blush like crazy. it’s horribly embarrassing for anyone else watching. star & cy are usually standing in the middle of the corridor by this point, and then robin was gonna head to his office, but once he sees the path is blocked– by this no less– just returns the way he came without a word

if anyone tries to make star feel uncomfortable for being alien or misunderstanding something, which does still happen sometimes, they’ll quickly find out they’ve got the goddamn terminator comin for their ass. or they’ll turn around and see 6 foot tall robot man with arms crossed and red eye glowing and he’ll be like (: hey there (:

star keeps leaving the garage with motor oil all over her face. none of the other titans knows how to address it, or if they even should, so they don’t

anyway theyre in love

[noussommeslessquelettes]

Tips on writing a character who’s ADHD

Courtesy of yours truly, an actual person with ADHD (who’s just slightly sick of bad ADHD characterisations)

We don’t ramble randomly, we infodump. I see a lot of writers writing ADHD characters as speaking these enormous, unbroken paragraphs on essentially whatever topic happens to be current, which isn’t how ADHD works. We might be long-winded at times (though really, not any more than non-ADHDers are,) but when it comes to those signature rambles, it’s about a topic we’ve hyperfixated on. Often, these topics seem random to NTs, but for us it’s very specific and topical. Often times, I’ll have only a handful of functioning hyperfixations at a time, and it’s usually something you can put under a specific header (cold war history/biology/etc., a particular band/genre, a specific show, and so forth.) My advice? Get a sense of your character’s hyperfixations before you write it in; Rick Riordan does a fantastic, albeit slightly heavy-handed, job of doing this with Leo Valdez in Heroes of Olympus. (another VERY IMPORTANT tip: just don’t write big unbroken paragraphs of rambling if you’re expecting me to actually read that shit. As an ADHDer it’s like physically painful for me to try and sift through that lmao)

We experience a wide range of emotions, and we experience them very strongly (AKA we’re not just balls of hyperactivity and joy.) Intense emotions are a hallmark of ADHD, which is why a lot of the time we seem super happy and energetic all the time to non-ADHDers. It’s a L O T more socially acceptable for us to express the intense happiness we feel, not so much the other emotions we feel just as intensely. Particularly for impulsive-type ADHDers, the main emotions we struggle to regulate are excitability, irritability, frustration, and dysphoria, all of which are emotions we’re taught from a very young age to be ashamed of and hide (which happens, in my experience, like this: you exhibit the strong emotion, you act in a way that is seen as unreasonably intense to non-ADHDers, and rather than learn to cope with the intensity of the emotion we’re taught to turn it inwards.) When we experience these intense negative emotions, we internalise it like we’re taught to, and our emotions appear more subdued to the people around us, though we still experience them intensely. We’ll typically close off and downplay our state if pressed, but in my experience we open up to people who we know to be ADHD/ND. That being said, we’re not always able to internalise it–especially (honestly, almost exclusively) when stressors pile up/when we’ve dealt with it for so long–and that’s when we explode. Because we experience emotion a lot more intensely than non-ADHDers, we almost always cry when this happens. I’m talkin’ ugly cry people. I’ve got hella information on the subtleties of a good ol’ fashioned ADHD-brand meltdown, which would make this post even longer than it’s already doomed to be, so if you’re interested in some tips on that feel free to shoot me an ask!

Our thought process is not random; we have highly-associative brains. Please. For the love of GOD. Stop fucking characterising us along that “OOH SQUIRREL” line of bullshit. I’ll come directly to your house and curse your shins to bump against every coffee table you encounter. Don’t fucking test me. Our thought process is highly-associative, which essentially means our brain makes more connexions between memories and thoughts when they’re being solidified, which results in memories triggering thoughts that wouldn’t occur to non-ADHDers. These links might seem tenuous when you don’t have a highly-associative brain, but they’re there, and they’re fairly evident on the part of the person with ADHD. And as a writer nota bene, don’t retroactively make these associations–in other words, don’t try to justify the link after it’s made just because a subject change is plot convenient for you. Try your best to make these transitions organic if you’re gonna include them. A good example of this is Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine Nine: he makes pretty sizeable leaps in topic, but the transitions always make sense.

ADHD is highly comorbid with other neurodivergencies. I’ve not met a single person with ADHD who is *only* ADHD; I personally have almost ten other neurodivergencies I’ve been diagnosed with. The most common comorbidities are: anxiety/depression (every ADHDer I know has at least one if not both of them,) autism spectrum disorder, and dyslexia. ADHD is a developmental disorder, which means our brains are fundamentally structurally different from NT brains, and this lends itself to the presence and development of other conditions. Don’t be afraid of including those other conditions/symptoms in your character’s story for realism! That being said, for the most of us, our ADHD is the most prominent condition we have, so we identify with it the most. The way we often see it, ADHD is the *main* condition, and the others feel like tag-alongs (this isn’t always the case and it isn’t always true, but that’s how we tend to interpret it.)

Our symptoms get worse when we get tired or stressed, but especially tired. When we’re stressed but reasonably rested/fed, we typically have the mental faculties to perform pseudo-neurotypically (we do decently well with controlling our symptoms,) though they might become slightly more pronounced. Lack of sleep/mental rest amplifies our symptoms and inhibits our ability to control them, most noticeably in our working memory (remembering/following instructions, immediate task completion, concentration, etc.) Just as NT/non-ADHDers become scatter-brained as they get increasingly stressed, so do ADHDers. The two main differences are that 1) it’s more pronounced and has a lower threshold, and 2) we (conveniently for you!) have a set list of symptoms that are going to react predictably to this.

We are very aware of our symptoms, thank you very much. While there will be times where my symptoms slip out and I’m not paying attention to them, nine times out of ten I’m very painfully aware of how non-NT I’m acting. When I simply can’t slow down my speech for the life of me, when I feel myself rambling about a hyperfixation, when I get stressed over something little and have an emotional outburst, I know. A lot of authors miss this, but ADHDers are very early made aware of why we’re perceived as different, and often times that’s done so at the expense of our self-esteem. Our ADHD doesn’t exist in a vacuum in our minds, and we’re very often self-conscious about how we’re socially read because of it. If you’re trying to get into the mind of a character with ADHD, that’s an important dimension to keep in mind. The self-consciousness factor is usually diminished when we’re around ppl who know that we’re ADHD, but when they show up around people we haven’t told we’re ADHD, we’re not usually quite so keen to share it. While this probably isn’t the same for all people with ADHD, it’s been my experience at the very least.

Anyhow this has been sitting in my drafts for God knows how long, so I’ll just release it into the wild. ADHDers, if you have any other tips, or want to share your experience, please feel free to add on!

[cosmicbug379]

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.J - Are you insecure. What about?

Okay I don't know when this sent but I totally forgot I posted that brutal honesty post and was confused for a solid like 30 seconds at least. I'm sorry this took me so long and I'm sorry I'm an idiot 😂😂

I-the last time I felt jealous, and why

So my best friend and I are close. I used to hang out with her every week and we would text almost non stop all day every day, it was great. Back in like September I think, of last year (gods 2019 feels so long ago it's only been 6 months) she got a boyfriend. Which is not a bad thing! I was very happy for her! They're happy together and he's a really nice guy! My problem was that she started talking to me less, and when we hung out it didn't feel like as much fun because she was always either talking about him or waiting for him to text her. Which is normal I guess. Except when she was with him she wouldn't talk to me at all. Like not one text the entire weekend they were together. And sometimes we couldn't hang out because "well he wants to do something" but that was the only day I could see her and he got entire weekends. He got invited to her family birthday thing and I didn't. Sure we went to dinner and hung out just the two of us the day after, but she told me I couldn't go on her birthday because it was just family but he got to go and they had only been dating like a month or two. Then in February the weekend of Valentine's Day was when it got bad. We hung out the day before, but it wasn't a normal hang out. We usually get dinner then go hang out at her house and watch TV. But we only got dinner. And then after that she didn't speak to me for 6 days in a row. 6 days and not 1 single text. Even when I would text her and ask if everything was okay or I would send her memes that reminded me of her. I cried every day that week. The only reason she texted me on the 7th day was because I was finally like "dude I'm WORRIED about you. Please just tell me you're okay." and then a few other things happened. And I was jealous. Not because I was like, in love with her, but because she's my best friend and it seemed like she didn't want to talk to me or spend time with me anymore. I was jealous because she was paying attention to her boyfriend and not me.

We're great now! We talked about it and I told her how I was feeling and she told me that I had said some stuff to hurt her and I apologized and she apologized and we talked and we still don't text as much as we used to, because we're both adults and we're busy and have jobs and stuff, and we haven't really been able to hang out because, you know, there's a pandemic going on, but we're so much better now. We check in with each other and we know where the boundaries are and stuff.

Sorry that was really long. Long story short last time I was jealous was about February and I was jealous because I thought my friend didn't want to hang out with me because of her boyfriend, but now we're great and no one is mad anymore and everything is good!

J-Are you insecure? What about?

OH BOY. Okay so in an effort to not go into the rabbit hole of just why Kylie hates herself we're going to keep this short and not too many details and also I know it's not part of it, but I'm gonna mention some things I like about myself too so I don't spiral or something.

Yes. I'm very insecure. I'm the biggest nerd on the planet and I'm proud of it now, but I got made fun of for it in school (mostly Jr. High/middle school). I'm also insecure about my smile because I've always since I was a little kid been terrible at remembering to brush my teeth (still am, but I'm getting better. ADHD is fun lmao) so my teeth are not very white. I still have them, but I'm self conscious about how they're not white and also I chew gum a lot because even when I do brush my teeth I'm afraid people will make fun of me for bad breath. The thing I'm most insecure about is my weight. And I'm not like super crazy overweight, and I know it's also not an indication of health, my entire family (both my mom's side and my dad's side) has always had trouble losing weight with just like eating right and exercising. But it's still something that makes me insecure? I have big thighs and arms and I kind of have a double chin and wide hips and my boobs cause me back problems sometimes, but the thing I hate the most is my belly. It's chubby and it hangs over my pants if I don't where high rise/high waisted pants and I just hate how chubby I am. And I know it shouldn't bother me. And I know it's just because society sucks a lot and I shouldn't tie it to my self worth, but here I am 🙃. I'm afraid no one is going to love me, because every thing I see everywhere that has to do with romance is just skinny people. Even if the guy isn't super buff and stuff, the woman is and I know I shouldn't let it hurt me, but when you see it all the time from childhood on its frustrating. I'm getting better though!

And I don't hate myself completely! I love my tattoos! And I like my hair! Even if it is frustrating and frizzy and annoying sometimes. And I am really good at math and singing! I'm smart! And I try to be nice to everyone and I'm working on being nicer to myself too!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #252

my personal laptop has to be fixed, so therefore i don’t have games to play, so expect plenty of these to pass the time lmao.

Have you ever said something just to see what kind of reaction you’d get? No, not that I remember. Have you ever confronted someone about using too much chat-speak? ??? No??? Have you ever revealed someone’s secret, after promising not to tell? No. Secrets are one thing I'm very serious about respecting. What is one emotion that you experience regularly? STRESS, MOTHERFUCKER. Describe the last major change you made concerning your hairstyle? Lopped it all off, lmao. It's been like, two years now though. Who was the last person to walk out of your life, and why? It feels like my friend Alex. She's kinda just... left me hanging for months. I think she's active online, but not with me, despite reaching out. She's also deleted her b.net account or just removed me from her friends list, idk. Absolutely nothing seems like it would've prompted that, though. Are you less likely to approach people that look/dress a certain way? I was going to say no, but the last person's answer inspired mine to yes; like, I'm not going to go talk to people with some crazy or offensive shit on their shirts, nor am I going to just go walk up to someone covered in blood. Name one embarrassing activity that you take part in? I don't know. Like I say enough I'm VERY self-conscious of revealing I RP, but only because I'm sensitive to how the person will respond. I'm in no way like, ashamed I do it. I'm just terrified of judgment over something "unusual." Ever been told that you can’t understand love due to your age? Not that I remember. I only claimed to "get it" (to my recollection) at a point in mine and Jason's relationship, and I very legitimately would've guffawed at and honestly nearly slapped you if you claimed I "didn't understand" love. What is your favorite Starburst candy flavor? THE PINK ONES. Do you think that you act like yourself while online? I act more like myself online. Have you ever lied about something to get someone to like you? No. Who is the fakest person in your life right now? I don't keep those people in my life. Have you ever laid down in the grass, and made shapes out of the clouds? As a kiddo. When someone’s constantly negative, how do you deal with it? It depends on the person, but ALMOST in all cases, I really really try to support the person as best I can. It may start to bring me a bit down, but I feel I'm just like... hardwired to help those I love. I think it's what my relationship with Jason did, as he left because he couldn't handle my depression anymore, and with how that absolutely and utterly annihilated me, I don't want anyone else to feel that pain. Now, for people I don't have much of a bond with, it's easier for me to say "I'm sorry, but I can't handle this right now," but even then, I prefer to help. Does Christmas make you feel like a kid again? No. I'm really most excited for aunt reasons, lol. Do you have any artistic talent? Some. Would you ever shoplift from a store if you knew you wouldn’t be caught? Absolutely not. When one of your pets dies, how do you react? Usually cry. I've only ever not done so if I hadn't at all formed a bond with the animal. When you go to the movies, where in the theater do you sit? Close to the front, in the middle. When was the last time you lost your appetite? I don’t know. Have you ever neglected to take care of yourself? Er. Quite badly during '16, in the depth of my depression. I'll just say my teeth are kinda yellow because of it. I want to whiten my teeth at some point if I can afford that kind of luxury. The last song/poem/story you wrote - what was it about? In RP, the most recent section being written now is my main protagonists receiving a visit from their allies before getting their asses torn up the next day lmao. After a fight, who apologizes first - you, or the other person? Usually me, but it does depend. If I genuinely feel I didn't do jackshit wrong, no, I'm not apologizing. When you’re feeling creative, what do you do? Write. Do you mind being in your house alone overnight? Not really by now. Done so a number of times. Are there any dreams you remember from childhood? Nightmares, yes, and one very realistic dream. What worries you most about death? Not knowing what happens afterwards. Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970s or earlier? I love The Munsters, I Love Lucy, The Beverly Hillbillies, and The Addams Family. I'm sure there's more, considering I liked to watch stuff with my mom as a kid. Who’s your celebrity crush(es)? HHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Ever been to a rave? No. Are you afraid to name the person you talk the most shit about? I don't really do that. Like I'll vent about people occasionally, but "talk shit" seems like the wrong word. I don't like gossiping. Are you a jealous person? Envious, rather, sometimes. I get VERY envious when it comes to photography, but otherwise, I don't feel it much. Who do you text the most out of your friends? Sara is like the only friend I text, lol. What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public?
 Honestly, call an authority. I don't fuck with that. I'm not watching it happen. How often do you play video games? What are some of your favourites?
 I played World of Warcraft daily until my laptop took a shit. Need to get that fixed. Now I play actual video games very rarely... but mostly just because you can only replay the same ole game so many times before you've had enough of it for like a year. There are a great number of new games I want to play, though. I want a PS4 soooo badly. What are a few things that get on your nerves when it comes to Facebook (or your social networking site of choice)?
 More than anything, posting something that's crying for attention only for the person to be like "ugh I don't wanna talk about it." Then don't fucking post it. What are three things you’ve started to like lately? I feel like I haven't found new interests in a long time... Wait! I do feel The Handmaid's Tale and the Wings of Fire book Sara lent me have revived my love of reading! :') I want to go to the book store when I can and get both the new sequel to THT and the next WoF book. What was the last reason for having butterflies in your stomach?
 *shrug* Do you need a lot of space in relationships, or are you happy to spend a lot of time with your SO?
 I need SOME alone time, but for the most part I love being together. Once we're really close, anyway. What was the last thing you cooked from scratch? Scrambled eggs. Have you ever won anything from those games in arcades?
 Yeah. Funny story, there was this one time my sister won a stuffed duck from a claw machine, and it was the one I wanted after trying many times, and I cried so hard that one of the employees literally got one out for me lmfao. I probably still have it in the attic. When was the last time you went out to a fair?
 Not since right before the breakup. How far is the nearest zoo or wildlife park from your house? Do you go often?
 Like, two hours. We almost never go because of the distance. Are either one of your parents retired? If not, what do they do for a living?
 No. My dad's been a mailman all my life, and Mom is currently on disability because she has cancer and obviously can't work because of chemotherapy and all that. She was a pharmacy tech, though. If you could change one physical trait about yourself, what would it be?
 Can all this weight like vanish please. Have you ever gone out with someone you didn’t like?
 ????? Why would I do that???? Well, I didn't yet like-like Tyler because we hadn't been reunited as friends long enough; dating was kinda like... a dumb way to re-get to know each other? Thank fuck that was only two weeks. Would you ever take a bullet for your significant other? I'm single. Would you ever work at a fast food restaurant?
 No. History shows I can't work with people. Are you good at haunted houses, or do you scream your head off?
 AHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! If you’ve seen it, what did you think of the Twilight movie?
 I never watched them. Have you ever gotten your tongue stuck on a frozen pole?
 No. Are you a cat or a dog person?
 Cat. Does the movie Titanic make you cry?
 Ha ha, yes. I watched it on movie day while at the psych hospital and all of us were lil bitches almost sobbing, lol. Because it's a long movie, it went past our allotted time, but the nurses decided to let us finish it because we were so into it. I do have some good memories from those times... Do you think that fat people should wear skinny jeans? I think people can wear whatever the fuck they want without fear of judgment. Do you prefer game systems like Xbox, or older ones like Super Nintendo? The former. Do you enjoy indie music? Yep! What is the most strange piercing you’ve ever seen? Those ones people were getting on their fingers instead of rings... just huh. What do you do when you’re waiting in line at the grocery store? Look around, I guess. Think. What is your favourite beach to go to? I haven't been to enough to know. Have you ever been to a country club? No. Have you ever seen an animal die in real life? Too many times. Animals have been euthanized in my arms, and a kitten slowly died in my hands once. One of the most heartbreaking things I have ever experienced. Teddy accidentally punctured its lungs or broke ribs, I think, or something like that. I'm pretty sure he was trying to bring it back to its siblings because it wandered off, but he held it too tightly. I was home alone, too. It was fucking awful. Do you live on a Rd, St, Blvd, Ln, Way, or Ave? Road. Do you have naked pictures of someone saved on your phone? No. Would you ever go see an opera? Bitch I played Parasite Eve, I don't trust that shit. But seriously, no, not my scene. Do you own anything John Deere? No. Do you have a push mower or a mower that you ride on? Neither. A friend mows for us; he has the latter. What is the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic for? No clue. I think during a trip to New York. Would you consider joining the air force, army, etc? No. Who was your first crush and what made them special? This kid named Dylan. I thought he was super cute and cool. What is one thing nobody knows about you because nobody ever cared to ask? I dunno. Who did you idolize growing up? Steve Irwin. Do you believe that we are all here for a reason? What might the reason be? No. Have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? No. What were your best and worst subjects in school or college? Best: English. Worst: math. Name something you would like to devote more time to seeing or doing. Writing poetry. Drawing. Do you like to get your nails done? No. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? Yeah, IT. Do you like to wear dresses? Hell no with my current body. Do you like any ‘manly’ activities like hunting, fishing, or camping? I find fishing to be fun and relaxing, but because of morals, I can't stomach doing it anymore. What was the name of your first boyfriend? First with the title, Aaron. First *real* boyfriend, Jason. Your first kiss? Jason. Are you still with either of those people from the last 2 questions? No. Have you ever used your bra to hold things like you would a pocket? Ha ha no. I think. What is your longest relationship to date? Three years, 7-8 months. I don't remember if the breakup was in August or September. Who ended the last relationship you were in? It was kinda like... mutual-ish, but moreso her. Have you ever gotten back with an ex? No. Who was your first prom date? Jason. Do you cry during romantic movies? Sometimes. Who was the last person to see you cry? Mom. Have you ever been used? I don't think so romantically, but in other ways, I know I have been. Have you ever felt violated? Yes. Do you like when a guy takes you by surprise and kisses you? Not everyone likes guys, so what an assumption. But anyway, only if we're very serious and have heavy trust in one another. Do you ever leave the house without makeup? Pretty much always. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? Been a few years. What kind of gift can win you over? BITCH buy me something Mark-related and you earn like 20 points. Has anyone ever sung to you? Yes. Do you like massages? Depends on who you are. In almost any case, no. They're awkward. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. Do you sleep naked? No. Is smoking a turn-off? Yes. Is there a certain tv show you get upset if you miss? No. When was the last time you spent the night at someone else’s house? When I was at Sara's a year or so back. What is one food you always crave? Ice cream. Are you an exercise freak? Hunny- What scares you more, spiders or snakes? Snakes don't scare me, so spooders. Do you expect to be married in the next two years? No. Would you ever get implants? Nah. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? No. Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s sibling? No. Are you more of a 'girly girl’ or a 'tomboy’? A tomboy. Have you ever dated someone with a child? No. Are you addicted to texting? No.

[spideyy-girl]

Secret Crush ~ Enoch O’Connor (w/Platonic!Jake Portman)

Request: was requested on my old blog, but I’ve lost the original ask, so if you’re the person who asked for this and wants to be tagged for it, please dm me :)

Summary: Jacob Portman has been your best friend for as long as you can remember, but sometimes you regret telling him some things, like your secret crush on a mysterious man you’ve known. But surely Jake had all good intentions...

Warnings: none I don’t think, jake being annoying?

Word Count: 2433 (6.7 pages)

Date: January 8th, 2019 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!)

A/N: ok so I, of course, have an excuse oof. I did post this on the day that I was supposed, BUT my dumbass accidentally posted it on my original blog, and when I saw it I reacted immediately and deleted it completely, instead of copying it and pasting it on the right account. Also, it’s been hard to try and fix this up, as I’ve been going through some tough stuff in my personal life. SO once again ], I’m so sorry for the (very) late update, but either way I hope you enjoy it! I love you all so much and thank you for the support. This is really long sorry you probably didn’t even read this but if you did kudos to you my friend that’s patience lmao. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and as always HAPPY READING!!

~Ciara xo   |   MEGA MASTERLIST   |   SEND REQUESTS   |

Also, requests and taglists are still open, I will be posting about requests very soon so be on the lookout!

I love my bestest friend, Jake, but sometimes he just can’t shut his goddamn mouth. Especially about my super duper secret, I thought I could trust him. Well, I learned the hard way.

Basically, you can never trust a Portman.

I realize this while I watch silently and embarrassed at Jake making kissy noises while squishing his cheeks together and squinching his eyes shut. It was definitely quite the sight to see.

“Oh my, Enoch. I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH MWAH MWAH MWAHHHH,” he screamed, continuing his actions. I roll my eyes, my cheeks going red, as I slapped his chest. He let out a small groan, but it didn’t stop him. 

“The feeling’s not mutual, Portman,” Enoch says at the doorway, his voice making me jump and my heart stops at the same time. He walked in to get some supplies for his ‘dolls’ and Jake calls them. I slapped Jake upright the head once I got control of myself. He let out a small yell, reaching up to massage his head. I really hope Enoch did not hear anything from our earlier conversation, or this ‘secret crush’ of mine wouldn’t be much of a secret anymore.

As he finished collecting his stuff, doing so as quickly as possible, he practically ran back to the door, stopping and the doorframe to glance in one more time. He low-key glared at Jake, which was easily returned, and then his eyes shifted over to settle on mine. I was already looking at him, partially for curiosity, but also because, well, look at him. He barely returned my glance for half a second before once again rushing out the room.

I sighed as I watched him depart, my shoulders slumping and my head falling, eyes focused on my feet, which were still moving nervously. For almost as long as I’ve known Enoch, he’s done this. For some reason, he just seems to dislike me very much, with not much reasoning why. I’ve thought of a few things, maybe it’s because I’m good friends with the guy he loathes. Maybe it’s because my peculiarity developed later than usual. Maybe because I came here later, with Jake.

“Why the long face? I know I’m happy with that twat being out of the room,” Jake said, putting a hand on my shoulder and trying to joke around like he usually does when he wants to put a smile on my face when I’m sad. I shrugged.

“What did I do?” I asked innocently, looking up at him, tears threatening to come out of my eyes and fall down my cheeks. He looked sad at my new expression and confused with what I just said.

“What’re you talking about? Did to who?” He asked, pulling me into a tight hug. Although he can be a pain sometimes, Jake always knew how to cheer me up and comfort me when I’m down. I sniffled, cuddling closer to him.

“Who else, dipshit. Enoch.” I say sarcastically, slightly laughing. Jake pulls me out from his chest, grabbing my arms softly and making me look at him. I’ve never seen the boy more serious than he did now. It was truly a shock to me since I’ve known him pretty much all my life.

“Are you actually blind?” He said, shaking me slightly. “He definitely does not hate you, Y/N. And besides, you don’t need his opinion. It is unworthy to a queen like you.” I smiled softly, saying a quiet thank you.

“But then, if he doesn’t hate me, then why will he never look at me? Why does he never want to talk to me? Every time I try to approach him, he just runs off in the opposite dire- oh wait.” I stop myself mid-sentence, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He doesn’t hate me, not at all. Jake was right, I really can be completely oblivious at times I need my mind most.

“About damn time,” he sighed, rolling his eyes, though as much as he was trying to conceal it, you could see the smile pushing at his lips. I smiled back, my mood changes to happiness. I giggled and jumped in my spot, gasping.

“Do you really think so, Jakey?” I ask him, using my childhood nickname for him. He laughed at the old memory and my silliness.

“Yes, I know so. Besides, when have I ever been wrong?” He says with a cheeky smile. I rolled my eyes.

“I can name multiple occasions,” I snapped back playfully, Jake putting a hand over his heart, gaining a look of false hurt. Then he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Well I’m sorry that I’m human and make mistakes sometimes, Little Miss Perfect,” he replied. I rolled my eyes. “Now, oh God, I can’t believe I’m saying this. Go get your man, or whatever.” He says, waving me off. I smile, giving him one last bear hug.

“Thank you, Jake! Love you!” I yell as I rush down the hallway, down the stairs.

Dinner had just ended, and it was time for our nightly movies. Well, really, it was just a display of Horace’s dreams, but it was still my favourite time of the day. There was just something very comforting about it.

I walked over to the couch Jake was sitting on with Emma, an empty spot where I usually sit was open as per usual. As I go to sit down, Jake puts his feet up on my spot. I give him a confused look.

“You didn’t do it yet, did you?” He asked, giving me the look. I roll my eyes, trying to move his feet.

“Don’t you worry about it. Tomorrow will be a better day, anyways,” I excuse, giving up on my attempts at trying to unblock my spot. I go to sit on the floor, but once again, my spot was taken up by another pair of feet, this time a woman’s ones. Emma.

“Y/N, you know you have to do it at one point. Knowing Enoch for as long as I have, I know he definitely won’t make the first move, he’ll just keep denying it,” she encourages. “Please, this will benefit both of you.”

I look at her in shock. How did she know about my... situation? Then I turned to Jake, a mixed look of disappointment and embarrassment shown on my face.

“Did you tell her?” I asked. He put his hands up in surrender, quickly shutting down the accusation.

“No! Y/N, I swear it! She’s just really good at this type of stuff. I wouldn’t do that, I promise!” He said quickly, trying to defend himself. I looked even more confused now, looking over at my other friend. She shrugged, smiling slightly.

“It’s true. I can read you like a book. It’s so obvious, for the both of you, really,” she said smartly. “And don’t think that everyone else in here except his doesn’t already know too. You guys are so oblivious.” She rolled her eyes as we giggles and I pushed her lightly, telling her to shut up. Soon, Horace put on his glass and images started to project onto the wall ahead. My friends pushed at me, in the direction of the other couch across the carpet where all the younger children were sitting. And on that couch, none other than Enoch O’Connor himself.

“Go on, Y/N! He really doesn’t have a choice anyway.” Jake said, pushing me more. Emma nodded.

“Yeah, we all know if he tries to leave, The Bird will get pissed. Like last time.” She said, the group of teen taking a moment to shudder at the memory. I straightened up my back and lifted my chin up high, trying to gain confidence.

“You’re right. I guess it’s now or never.” I said. I took a deep breath and tried to walk behind the couch so Enoch wouldn’t expect me, not giving him a chance to run. I plopped down into the seat next to him, sort of scaring him, as it looks. “Hey, Enoch. It’s been a while since we talked.” I tried starting off,  only for him to look me over once before turning back to the ‘movie’. I sighed, how did I think this was going to be a good idea?! “Please, can’t you at least look at me? We seriously need to talk.”

“Maybe later, don’t you see movie night is going on? It would only be disrespectful to interrupt,” he said, turning back at me and talking to me. Wait, he actually talked to me. After months, he really said words that were aimed at my direction. The sensation filling me up with happiness, boosting my determination. “Besides, why did you decide you wanted to sit here? Whatever happened to sitting with Jake and Emma? Why don’t you go back there?” He looked back when he finished, my sky high ego suddenly took a crash landing. Maybe I was wrong about all this, maybe I should just leave. He obviously doesn’t want me around.

‘No, Y/N. You can’t chicken out now. You’re already here, you’ve already come so far,’ my self-conscious tells me. “Well maybe it’s because I wanted to change things up a bit, and sit with you, because you’re cool and all,” I said, sort of rambling on and glancing back at Emma and Jake’s couch, where, thankfully, Olive has taken my place. The three of them paying attention to the dreams about clothing going on right now. “And it also looks like I’ve been replaced, so even if you want me to go, I can’t. Looks like we’re stuck together.” I shrugged my shoulders innocently, nodding over to the trio. Enoch looked slightly shocked at first, but sighed, turning his attention back to me. Wow, I’ve finally gotten his full attention. His eyes look so much prettier up close, pouring into my own.

“That’s fine, I guess.” He said, trying to be cool about it. “But, what was the real reason you came here. I know you never want to leave Jake’s side. You’re like his little puppy.” He added. And that’s when, once again, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Ohhhh, I get it now. You’re jealous!” I said, smiling at him. He looked astounded, trying to pretend he had no idea what you were talking about.

“Jealous? Of what? Jake? Please, why would I be jealous of an idiot like him? Should I be?” He kept asking questions. I continue to laugh as quietly as possible, trying not to disrupt. I felt a giant wave of relief wash over me. This had to mean something, and if it’s what I hope, this could be really good.

“Trust me, you have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to Jake and I’s relationship. Just friends... always will be.” I say, leaning back against the couch, taking a glance at the wall that was having Horace's dreams projected onto it. Of course, another one of him visiting his beloved tailor for a snazzy new suit. After smiling fondly at the dream, I turn back to Enoch. I guess you could call him my dream.

“Oh, o-okay” he stuttered out, breaking eye contact. I roll my own eyes, turning his face to look back at mine. I smiled and, surprisingly, he smiled back.

“You know, you had me worried for a long time, I always thought you hated me, and it sucked considering how much I liked you,” I said genuinely, still looking him in the eye, before realizing what I really said. I quickly let go of his face and my eyes went down to look at my playing fingers. “I mean, that is if you do like me. You don’t have to, I’ll understand. God, I just completely missed the message didn’t I? I always mess up-” I continued to ramble, trying to defend myself before something stopped me. 

That something, a pair of slightly chapped, but still soft, pair of lips brought onto my own, one hand on my cheek, another on my waist.

Enoch motherfucking O’Connor you sly little shit.

I quickly responded, my hands flying to the back of his neck, playing with little hairs on the back of it. I smile into the kiss. It was slow and soft, and sadly, short-lived.

There was a sound of someone clearing their throat just behind us. We shot apart, looking at the origin of the noise, seeing Miss Peregrine standing with her arms crossed firmly against her chest, an eyebrow raised, and a stiff posture, but you could still see the slight smile she’s trying to hide. My face and neck go a deep crimson red, turning around to see everyone looking at us now, some in awe, others in disgust. Even Horace stopped his dream to watch the drama unroll, since we know he kills for a good love story.

I look over at the couch on the other side of the room to see Jake, Emma, and Olive all smirking evilly at us, giggling like fourth-grade girls. Jake fakes applause, Emma makes kissy faces, and Olive giving us hand hearts. I shake my head, taking a glance at Enoch, who was already looking at me. He smiles.

“I sure hope there are no shenanigans going on over there, Miss Peregrine’s voice rang out loud. Our heads shot up to her, shaking our heads with muttered ‘no’s and ‘of course not’s. She nodded for head once, before smiling softly and winking at us, before going hard again. “I mean it. Now, let’s go on with the show, shall we?” She said, and all the children’s eyes focused back and the movie started playing again.

“So, just wanted to make this clear, you would want to go on a date with me, yes?” Enoch asked, whispering into my ear. I laughed silently, before turning over and giving him a sneaky kiss on the cheek, making sure no one saw this time.

“Yes, of course,” I whispered back. We grinned at each other before I cuddled into his side, him acting reluctantly but soon gave in. After a bit, I made a realization.“To think, this is all Jake’s fault, he basically forced me here to come to talk to you,” I said, laughing.

“I can’t believe Portman did something right in his life,” Enoch said in fake shock.

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I didn’t know how to end this whoops I’m trash sooooory haha