#(why I was sad was just so many things I havent touched in months and years and the people who deactivated or moved on

[ilovelotsofthings]

Afton Family Movie Star Au:

Started: 2/23/2022

===

So you all know those many fanfics in many fandoms where the characters are famous and then those subsets that go into the non glamorous part

This is that au

This is not a very happy universe (Like canon Fnaf is /s)

There is going to be the normal child death and abuse (those novels) with it being worse Only if I commit to making it worse

==

So background is that William and his Wife Carol are actors and were child stars

Same with his siblings except they didn't become big like him. That is because they were born 1954 (Elisa), 1960 (Oliver), and 1967 (Roselle)

So Carol and him got married at 18 during the filming of a movie. 

They had been coworkers and friends since they were 6.

So at 19 Carol gave birth to Michael. Who was immediately passed on to his dad's parents.

Michael was born 1968 and was raised with his uncle and aunt to also be a child star.

He didn't become as popular and was used in few films and commercials.

Michael was just hard to work with as he just wanted to learn about anything and everything.

Also he just sucked at being in front of the camera. 

Next up is that William and Carol in 1972 gave birth to Elizabeth to whom they kept and showed off as the perfect family.

Elizabeth was planned and announced unlike Michael who they just had Carol hide, give birth and come back.

They are getting great movie roles and TV shows.

Life is going great so far.

Michael isn't acting yet and just gets to grow up in not 100% spotlight

(The Afton family is popular because 1 big star and 3 smaller stars. William is just more important in the public's eyes)

The Afton family (in all aspects) are rich and never financially in trouble.

The younger aftons don't have to do anything (well Elizabeth will in the future but at the moment she doesn't)

Life goes great for 1 year when Carol starts to hit that max amount of stress when a year later she finds out she is pregnant. She is having a mental breakdown after 2 and ½ decades of acting.

Also not just acting but Carol was an accident that neither parent wanted so they used her for money and once she was married off and they didn't need her anymore they had more kids.

They replaced her with new kids born 1970 and 1972.

In 1975 C.C Evan Afton is born. 

The public knows about him so they cannot just say he is another sibling of William's 

(Michael would be about 7 or 8 and being raised as William's youngest sibling)

Public at this point is weary of Carol as she has been having problems for years at that point.

Elizabeth is happy to have a sibling though she wanted a sister.

Elizabeth is 3 at that point in time.

William's career is doing great while Carol's is going down the drain

After the birth Carol wants nothing to do with CC and just gives him ro William.

Once she is healed she just locked herself in a bedroom.

She would only leave to go to parties. Drinking and Drugs.

Carol wanted something more after decades.

William now has 2 kids and a wife who wants nothing to do with them.

Well he had a nanny but fired her because she was stealing

This is where Henry and Charlie (born 1972). Newly hired Nanny and his daughter who can be friends with the kids.

So Charlie and Elizabeth became fast friends and played whenever Elizabeth wasn't acting.

In 1976 Carol almost overdosed and when she got better she vowed to stay clean and then divorced William.

She very quickly met someone new (totally not someone she was cheating William on with. No /s). They married and moved very far away as soon as the divorce was final.

The divorce went quick because she didn't want custody and only wanted a few million.

William said sure. He didn't quite care

She had 4 kids in 1978, 1980, and 1984. Twin boys in 1980 and girls in 1984 and 1978.

Also in 1978, Elizabeth and Michael met.

They met because of a party William threw and invited his family.

All minors were to hang out somewhere else. So all of them (Charlie, Afton Kids, and Roselle) just talk and play games.

Just some lighthearted stuff before their lives go to the gutter within the next 5 years.

Well actually there were other kids but they were allowed to run around. Aftons and Charlie are just special. It is their house after all

(A kid did go "missing" at the party. Large house and all with people not watching their kids)

At this point in the timeline very few kids have gone missing. Especially since it would be suspicious if it happened at every party.

So after that Michael and Roselle don't get to hang out with them anymore.

Between 1978 and 1983 Elizabeth got a role in a sitcom as the youngest daughter. It ran for only 5 years and did pretty well.

Until the mother actress was found dead.

They just decided to air what they had and not film anymore.

Also in between 1978 and 1983 CC was sent to a boarding school as William didn't want to raise him.

Michael simply in that time has eased out of acting and is now just acting as a normal teen and drawing.

Also in between that time nothing interesting happened to Charlie (yet)

[Forgot to say that Charlie and Elizabeth are homeschooled]

More kids and adults have died in that time. Quite a bit more too.

It is obviously William killing them. All of it is for fun.

Elizabeth is shining under all the attention. She does miss CC though. 

Police are trying to solve all these murders they just are not doing so good.

2/23/2022

[actual-corpse]

I played Skyrim today.

[kweebtrash]

Literally forget the fact that i havent been active for like 2 years or whatever i was in my feelings and wanted to write about this.

Im not into kpop anymore, i mean not as hardcore as i used to be; constantly keeping up with comebacks, spending hundreds of dollars on traveling and concerts and hi-touch, buying albums and furiously hoping for my bias’ PC,etc.

I was already on the tail end of getting out of kpop but when i got with my partner i just fell out of it completely (they listen to kpop occasionally even before they met me.) But kind of the terrible mistakes i made on here and me working so hard on stories and them falling flat made me dip out completely.

BUT lately i’ve been wanting to listen to kpop just casually. I’m actually listening to my faves playlist now and “Shine” came on and it’s like my whole body stopped and i really wanted to cry?? Pentagon means a lot to me. They’re one of my ult groups and i legitimately almost threw up at the concert because i was so excited. I cried when Dawnie got kicked out, i was there watching the youngest three grow up, listening to Jinho being talented Jinho, all that stuff. But Shine was what got me back into Kpop in 2017.

I’m a second gen stan so i started in 2011 or so, all the way back to when BigBang was nice and wholesome and amazing and the music videos were way weirder and cringey-er. I fell out of it and Shine just grabbed me by the hair and was like COME BACK BITCH. And that song makes me so incredibly happy? It flooded back all these memories of going to KCon 2018, back when i didn’t even KNOW the member’s names but i was like I LOVE YOU ALL. It led me to stray kids and of course i had my obsessive BTS phase (and the NCT one after that. Hello Johnny) I made so many friends and genuinely enjoyed it so much, not only as a hobby but as a way to meet people. I miss talking to the people i’ve made friends with on here, the people who enjoyed my work, and not necessarily the people i made mistakes with lol but it was still a learning experience. All of those memories came back at once and i was suddenly just so fckn sad that i dont have that same feeling of happiness or those friends anymore. That i CANT write anymore because i just havent been able to create ANYTHING that i like. No fanfiction, no DND stuff, no worldbuilding. Just a few OC’s here and there that i’ve just thrown out because nothing seems right.

Kpop used to be so special. Back in 2011 when i was in high school, kpop was weird. It was all like “Why are you listening to music when you don’t even understand it??”. It felt unique and so fresh and for the weird emo kid that i was i was like a kpop hipster. That sounds terrible but that’s what it felt like. It used to be impossible for me to get ANY kpop merch and ever since BTS took over America and all the other groups after and we have merch left and right and kpop stores in the states it doesnt feel as special anymore. Not to mention the fanbases are younger and it weirds be out when like some teenager is over here calling Felix daddy when that child doesn’t even know the first thing about being dominate. Also my birthday is at the end of the month and im old now, lol. The groups keep getting younger and it’s kinda like in anime. I can enjoy it as a whole but it feels strange to have the children sexualized and not very many older members. A lot of them are older now in the groups that i like but it still feels strange to be almost 30 and fawning over people younger than me. My partner is 3 years younger than me and i still feel like i’ve robbed a cradle.

Anyway, i’m just in my feelings and stressed because i have life things going on but i basically only talk to 2 people that i’ve met from kpop and while i love them dearly it was nice talking to a lot of people online. But now i wonder if i could find other friends who will talk to me about shit outside of kpop. I know everyone has other hobbies besides this but i’ve never gotten to know that side of the people i talked with. Like, i never really got any writer friends and i DESPERATELY need some, i’m not that up to date on anime but like i’m shoving down 1000 year war and chainsaw man and Tuca and Bertie (that’s not an anime but an in general animation). I know everyone and their mom like’s DND now but let me see how you play it, the worlds you created, your OC’s. it’s kinda sad that i’m almost 30 and cant actually make friends lmao. I guess i might feel a little sad bc my partner has like a billion online friends and i would just like other people to talk to again about our interest, even if it’s still kpop from time to time.

Shine just made me think of some happier times in my life and all the good feelings i had and it’s kinda gone now and i just spent like 30 minutes at work writing this because my playlist made me sad. Let me leave now lol

But wait quick embarrassing PS: yesterday while i was stoned i realized that my partner is messy Johnny (minus the fuckboi). Like bad at expressing emotion, looks cold but is an actual baby, actually really sensitive, a mama’s boy, a stoner, constantly trying to make straight A’s and working hard and stressing. I really wrote about my dream guy lmao

ok, now bye. im embarrassed i wrote this

[boldlyvoid]

CONGRATS ON 800, LOVE! IM SO SORRY I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SUBMIT SOMETHING EARLIER (this is shemarmooresfedora but from another acct because mine has been shadowbanned for some reason)

i’ll do ❤️🤡💄🛏 please and thank you

maybe like spencer invites you to something as his date and you’re both crushing on each other but it’s not official until the reservation only booked one room

I LOVE YOU DORY!!! i am so sorry you're shadowbanned that is so weird? i hope this cheers you up a little! thank you for all the love and support, and for helping me create little Jo in Amoreena <3

cw: flirting, fake married, mutual pining, high school reunions, assault, love confessions, one bed, implied sex, kissing,

1.4K

When he got the invitation in the mail, he thought nothing of it. He left it in the pile on his counter and went off to work the way he always would. He hasn’t been back to his old high school since he was 13, the 15 year reunion was coming up and he was invited.

He wasn’t going to go. He never went to any event unless it was a CalTech alumni event. Because there he was respected, there he was Doctor Spencer Reid, the FBI’s asset and excellent graduate. He was a nobody, a kid and a loser in high school.

“You okay?” Y/N notices he’s quieter than normal, he’s staring off past his desk and she’s worried for him.

“Huh?” He turns to her, “I’m fine.”

“Doesn’t look like it,” she whispers, “come get a coffee with me down at the kart?”

He nods and stands silently, following her out of the room and away from all their friends, in the elevator she knows he’s more comfortable.

“What’s going on, Spence?”

“My high school reunion is coming up, and I really want to go and prove to them that I’m not a dork anymore…” his voice is low and his eyes are fixated on the floor.

Her face drops, she pulls the emergency button and wraps herself around him. “You have never been a dork, Spencer. You have always been magnificent and they’re too dumb to see that.”

He holds her in return, settling as he rests his chin on her shoulder. She feels nice and warm, her hair smells like apples and her laundry detergent is all over her shirt.

“Would you come back to Vegas with me and pretend to be my girlfriend? Say things like that and make them think I’ve got it all?”

He cant see how much she smiles while they hug, “yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend for the day.”

—

She buys the nicest dress imaginable, they fly out to Vegas together and she’s so excited she forgot to ask for her own room. Or at least that’s what she tells him because she really wanted a chance to sleep with him, in more ways than one.

Even to just cuddle with Spencer Reid would be a gift, so she goes all out to seduce him. She looked impeccable, He was thinking it was her way of helping him show off… he was so clueless she was going to have to be the smart one when it came to getting him to see her as more than a friend. She wanted him, she was going to show him just how good she would be to him if she was his.

Her dress hugs her in all the right places, she wraps an arm around Spencer’s middle and holds him close. They walk in like they own the place, everyone is taking turns looking at them as they walk to the name tag table.

“Hi, Spener Reid,” he smiles, “and my plus one.”

“Hi,” Y/N waved at the woman behind the desk.

“Hello,” she smiles, “here are your name tags, Mr. and Mrs. Reid.”

“Oh we’re—“

“Thank you,” Y/N smiles, she takes the name tags from the woman. “Newlyweds, my rings getting resized, he’s still adjusting to the title.”

“Ah, my husband was the same, called it wedding bell shock,” she smiled, old enough to have a husband with shell-shock as well.

“Can I have a pen?” Y/N asks, “or a marker?”

“Here,” she hands her a sharpie.

Y/N leans onto the table to scratch out the Mr. and replace it with Dr. “He has 3 Ph.D.’s you know? My husband is the smartest man in the FBI.”

“Oh,” she looks shocked, “thank you for your service sir.”

He blushes and nods, “thank you.”

Y/N peels the sticker off and sticks it to Spencer's chest before leaning in to press a kiss to the tip of his nose, she gets lipstick on him. She smiles and wipes it off, “there, still cute.”

The rest of the night is much of the same; she hangs off him, telling all the people who used to bully him that she was so madly in love with him, he was super smart and he was so strong and sexy on the job.

She slips away from him to get a drink while he explains how profiling works to his crowd of new fans. She’s filling her cup with punch when a weird, balding man slides up beside her, his hand touching her waist. She looks at him quickly, recognizing his name from the worst childhood story Spencer ever shared with her.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” he tried to hit on her.

She puts her cup down calmly and takes his hand off her, bending his arm behind his back and slamming him face-first into the punch bowl. She pulls his face back up by his hair, “that was for touching me.”

Then she slams him onto the floor where he coughs out punch from his lungs. “And that was for what you did to my husband as a kid, he was a Kid! You may have peaked in high school, but at least Doctor Reid doesn’t have a widow's peak, like yours. He is the smartest, sexiest, and most wonderful man in the world and you're nothing but a loser.”

Spencer turns around at the sound of her voice, “oooo” echos around the gym as everyone looks at the scene unfolding. Patrick, the asshole quarterback that traumatized him as a child, was on the ground covered in red juice as he complained about a sore arm.

Y/N smiles at him and waves before rejoining Spencer, “he doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Spencer suggests and she is all too eager to skip out of the room with him, right past Patrick.

—

She slams him against the wall as soon as they’re inside the hotel room again, kissing him with more desperation than she’s ever felt in her life. She needed him, he was her last piece and then she’d be complete.

She breaks the kiss to move down his neck as she loosens his tie and unbuttons his shirt. “Are you sure we can be friends after this?”

“I’d hope my husband was my best friend,” she whispers against his skin.

He pulls her away from his neck, hands on her cheeks so he can look at her and read her expressions as best as possible, “I’m serious, I don’t want to do this if it’s going to make working together hard.”

“You’re an idiot,” she smiles, “I have been in love with you for months Spencer. I want this, I have wanted you for so long…”

His breathing changes as she explains her feelings, leaning in to kiss his neck again and make her way down his chest. “I’ve thought about this for so long Spencer, you have no idea how many dirty thoughts I have about doing things like this with you.”

“I got 1 bed on purpose,” he gasps out, “I wanted to sleep beside you… I hoped—

She smiles against him, “I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you to get 2…”

“You’re really not kidding?” He sounds so desperate it’s almost sad.

She stops her kissing and looks at him again, “why is it so hard for you to believe all the things I’ve said about you tonight? I’m not just trying to impress them, I’m telling the whole fucking world that the person I am in love with is the smartest man they will ever meet. People should bow at your feet, Spencer, let me appreciate you for how incredibly wonderful you are and stop doubting my feelings.”

“You love me?” Tears well in his eyes and he feels like a complete idiot, “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I wanted you to admit it first,” she whispers, equally as embarrassed. “I have a huge crush on you Spence, it’s not just that I love you, I never want to stop. You’re so nice and kind and funny? And you make me smile every day and I laugh even on the worst days ever because you’re there, and when I think about the future and reunions and events like this that I have to go to one day, and all I want is to bring you along and show everyone that you’re mine.”

She rambled more than he did, “so please, will you unzip my dress and join me in our one bed, husband?”

“Absolutely, my beautiful wife,” he turns her around, moving her hair off her back, he kisses her shoulder softly.

He moves the zip down as slow as possible, kissing every inch of newly exposed skin as he did so. When he reached the end, she pushed the straps off her arms and let the dress fall to the floor.

Mission accomplished.

[nahoyaglock]

WHEN I STOP BREATHING..

pairings! ushijima x reader

summary! sitting on the beach, so close to each other they can hear each other’s heartbeats. They both smile and they watch the world end right in front of them, reminiscing on all they’ve been through together. Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

genre! angst

word count! didnt bother actually counting so ill estimate maybe 2000+

warnings! end of the world, death, murder mention, slight ooc ushijima idk its the end of the world so pff

a/n! uh idk i wanna hurt people, sorry if this is bad i havent written in a while :p i feel like the beginning was really good, the middle was ass and the end was okay but hoh im happy enough w this. I also cried writing this ngl lmaoo also did not fix any errors so my bad

You knew it was coming, you both did. New reports, articles, it was trending on all social media platforms. It was unavoidable, what could you do but waste away your last few days, watching old shows you watched as a kid, harsh knocks and cries from your doors from friends and family. You couldnt face them, you just wanted to drown out the thought of what was coming the next few hours of the day.

You had woken up and sluggishly dragged yourself from the comfort of your bed to your dirty kitchen, littered with dirty dishes and some uneaten food that youd try to make, but didn't have the stomach to eat. Your phone rang atleast every hour or two, many unanswered calls and long voicemails you couldnt bother to listen to.

There was a knock on your door, and you sighed, not wanting to bother with facing the person at the door. You turned on your heels, about to head to your room when you heard the voice call out to you.

"y/n."

Out of all the people why did it have to be him. You bit your lip and let out shaky breaths. You took another step, freezing at another set of knocks. The last persom you wanted to see was your boyfriend.

"y/n let me in or ill tear this door down." His voice was stern, laced with seriousness and slight concern. You wanted to open it, let him in and crumble into his arms, but it hurt so bad.

"Go away." You spoke, loud enough to be heard through the door, but not loud enough to be a yell.

"y/n."

You hesitantly walked to the door, unlocking the bottom lock, the top lock remaining unlocked, too bothersome for you to have delt with anyways. At the sound of the click of the locks he opened the door with quick motions, while also being careful not to knock you over.

At the sight of his big frame you felt like the world had just stabbed you through the chest 28 times. You backed up with quick steps are your boyfriend reached out to hug you, scared that his touch would break down your facade. You tripped over your own feet, landing hard on your butt.

"Ush.. Ushijima," you started, not knowing exactly what you were trying to say, "Please dont touch me."

His heart sank when he saw you, lifeless and so frail. He guessed you havent been getting much sleep- or maybe too much sleep, and not eating as he took a quick glance towards the food littered kitchen counter.

It wasnt any better for you, seeing your normally cold and calm boyfriend with a worried expression and eye bags that made it obvious he hasnt got much sleep either.

You pull yourself up, your eyes boring through your boyfriends abdomen as you bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, and to also keep yourself from falling apart. "What do you want?"

"y/n. Dont be cold to me." It wasnt a question, but it wasnt a demand. "Sorry," you mumbled, leaving you two in silence for a while.

"Ushi, you should go home," you said, feeling your heart race, every second you spent in his presence, under his gaze, killed you. "You should call Tendou or something."

"Toshi." He said, making your head shoot up, looking him in his eyes, seeing a tear roll down his cheek, his face remaining mostly emotionless, fear slightly present in his eyes. "Please keep calling me Toshi."

You felt a pang in your heart, suddenly the reality of things hitting you. You were the only one going through this, you knew this but never gave it more than a mere thought. He was scared, he didnt know what he was doing, he just knew to find comfort in you, like youve told him to for many years into your relationship.

"Toshi," you breathed, reaching up to wipe the tear from his cheek, "Toshi lets go somewhere."

You never felt the need to go outside, wanting to be isolated, but being here with your boyfriend, you felt like running away, wanting to escape from the dark pit of your home. "Lets go to the beach"

"y/n–"

"Lets go. Lets go, right.. right now Toshi," you felt as if though youve felt shoked by lightning, like you suddenly got hit with some sugar rush.

"We dont have time–"

"We do Toshi, we do, we do," you saw the corner of his lips raise up into a small smile. He hated seeing you like this but he was glad you were more alive than you were minutes before. You knew this, what he was thinking, and you knew his smile had so much sadness behind it, "we have time, lets go, lets go!"

You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your apartment, not bothering to change from your days out clothing or close the door behind you. It wouldnt matter in another hour anyways.

The ride there was mostly silent, songs playing quietly on the radio. You watched as you passed through the town, the streets were slightly empty, stores looked run down, some stores even tore up and empty.

"Has it been like this since.. since the announcement?" You mumbled, earning a hum for Ushijima.

"Yeah, yeah it has." He knew that you didnt go out, and he was slightly grateful for it. The world went to shit after the announcement, many lootings, murders and other various crimes being commited.

"Im glad your safe Toshi," you spoke into your palm.

"Im glad your safe too."

The ride went on in silence until you got to the beach. You both climbed out of the car, the beautiful blue sea sparkling under the sunny sky. It was funny how such a depressing day could look so so beautiful.

"Hmm, this is the beach we went to with the team our senior year, remember?" He asked and turned to face you. The fear in his eyes was much more evident in the light, along with signs of personal neglict. He hasnt been taking good care of himself either.

You walk around the front of the car to grab his hand, your small hands tracing light circles on his rough palms before linking your hands together, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I remember."

He let out a shaky breath he didnt know he was holding in, and you two found a nice spot on the beach to sit and watch the sky. "Toshi, do you remember the time goshiki got gummy bears stuck in his nose?"

He looked at you, and his face softened, "yeah. Yeah i do." He let out a small chuckle at the thought of his old teammates. "Do you remember when Tendou took my water bottle and filled it with really sour lemonade?" He asked, you could hear his voice unravel into a more comfortable tone, instead of one holding in so much hurt and fear.

"Ha, i actually helped him with that you know?" You spoke up, a small grin on your lips as your boyfriend grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "We'll its okay, because it was 2 years ago."

It had been 2 years. 2 years since you had become shiratorizawas manager, 2 years since you made the number 1 ace fall head over heels for you, 2 years since you had went on your first date with him.

"2 years, its been so long." You laid your head on Ushijimas arm, feeling tired. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed a kiss atop your head.

"Thats when we first started dating," you spoke, shoulders shaking with a small laugh, "i would've never imagined to have the nations number 1 ace fall so madly in love with me." You laughed and turned to your boyfriend to continue your teasing, but stopped when you saw him looking back at you.

He couldn't respond with anything more than a mere chuckle, tears now streaming down his cheeks. You bit your lip, scooting closer to him so you were in his lap, wrapping your arms around his large stature.

"Toshi, I love you." It was no more than a whisper and he placed a warm, loving kiss to your temple, rubbing your back softly as he let out a shaky laugh.

"y/n god, you make it so hard not to cry." He whispered in an unstable tone, resting his head atop yours. "I love you too."

This was how it was, clinging to the other and sharing old tales of your days spent with Ushijima and the boys, tales of times tendou had snuck out of the dorms and got caught by washijou, or when goshiki cut his bangs too short, or how Ushijima brought your parents a half eaten watermelon as a gift.

Those last moments spent with laughs and tears, kisses and hugs, warmth and comfort, those were your best memories. Despite the fate to cross you, Ushijima and everyone else in the world, you felt like you could smile for the first time.

You would smile alot, but it felt different this time. You convinced yourself that it was just because you had been withering away for the past days, but you knew it was because you felt free.

You had no worries in the moment with your lover, you didnt need to think about getting up for work the next day, or how you would afford next months rent. You felt like the largest weight had been lifted off of you, and you could really smile for the first time.

There was a slightly rumble if the ground that had made you and Ushijima go silent. You pulled away from your spot in the crook of his neck to look at him, fear still in his eyes.

"I dont wanna die," he chuckled out, "but im not sad." He drew small shapes into your hips with his thumbs, looking onto your laps instead of your face, and you just stared at him.

His usually stoic face was calmed, relaxed, his jaw unclenched and his eyes soft. You hadnt seen so many emotions from your boyfriend so much, it was almost scary. But he looked so gorgeous, he was your world.

"Wakatoshi Ushijima, you know," your placed your hands on both sides of his face, "it doesnt matter what happens to this world, because," you placed a passionate kiss to his lips, the tears finally falling from your eyes, "you, you're my world Toshi."

He let out a noise that was similar to a choke, tears rolling down the apple of his cheeks as he placed his forehead to yours, letting his shoulders shake with hard sobs. Loud crashes, screams and car alarms had let you know it was coming, the end of the world.

The last thing you saw was Ushijima, smiling snd crying, mouthing out one last 'I love you'.

Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. do not translate. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

[loverboystyles]

Twisted Attraction

Pairing: Loki × Reader

Summary: Y/N and Loki have been enemies for as long as anyone can remember, but when Y/N’s parents host a special dance to find a suitor for them, they unexpectedly finds feelings for the younger Prince of Asgard

A/N: hii! so i havent posted anything in a good few months but hopefully this makes up for it? idk, but I hope you like it. also, i imagined this dress for Y/N. also, i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible, so you can change the dress into a suit or jumpsuit or whatever you’d like!

Warnings: Maybe some typos, and fluffy Loki?

Word count: 2.5k

"Do you think he'll be coming to the dance tonight?" your maid asked, waiting for you to finish changing behind your folding privacy screen. 

"Oh," you pondered for a moment, your mind trailing away for a moment to picture him. 

The person you were thinking of was Loki, Prince of Asgard. Sometimes better known as Thor's adopted younger brother, or even the son of Laufey, the former leader of the frost giants. Although you hadn't seen him in years, his image was still engraved in your mind. 

His pale skin. His long, black hair. His soft, blue eyes. The stupid, sly smirk he always had on his face. You hated him. Yes, hate may be a strong word, but you meant it with every fiber of your being. 

You don't exactly remember when the rivalry started between you and Loki, but everytime you two were in the same room, it was like you were reliving a war in your minds. Always giving each other death glares, always exchanging petty insults, always bickering about something, always imagining what you would do to the other if you ever got the chance. 

The pet names always infuriated you the most, though you couldn't tell why. Perhaps it was that he always used them in compliments? Most of them were backhanded, but still, they were compliments nonetheless. 

"Keep your head up darling, you wouldn't want anyone thinking you're shorter than you already are, do you?" 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Look at your dainty little hands. Thank God you're a princess love, or else you wouldn't be able to do anything." 

"Oh, what a shame. No wonder your parents haven't been able to find a suitor for you! No one wants to marry a sassy little girl with a plethora of attitudes, sweetheart." 

"I... I don't know," you almost laughed, thinking back in all of the trivial rivalry as you stepped in front of your privacy screen. "I mean it's been years." 

Your maid shook her head, singling that the dress you had tried on wasn't the one for you. You nodded and went back behind the screen, waiting for her to give you another dress. 

"Maybe he forgot me." you added, just a smidge of sadness in your voice. 

"Don't get your hopes up." your maid handed you another dress. "He won't forget you that easily." 

You smiled and thanked her, then slipped into the dress. 

It was pastel pink in colour. Not that you were a big fan of it, but you thought that it went well with the dress. It was form fitting, until it got to the basque waist, where it went out and flowed to the floor. It was decorated with pastel blue, yellow, and green flowers. You adored the sleeves, they weren't too big but not too tight at the same time, and they were just the perfect length. It was comfortable, gorgeous, and stunning. 

"I love it," you announced, spinning around so your maid could see. "Thank you." 

She had a bright smile on her face, and quickly helped you tighten the corset in the back. "You must hurry, Princess. You can't leave your could-be-suitors waiting!" 

"Oh yes, I completely forgot." you sighed, hoping you didn't sound too rude. 

It wasn't a lie, you did forget. You were very excited for the dance, just not the reason. Your parents organized this dance in hope of finding a suitor for you. You've tried to convince them that you don't need one, that you'd be perfectly happy being unmarried, but since your parents were quite traditional, they decided to host it anyway. Now, people (not just princes) from all over the nine realms were here, and you weren't looking forward to it. They never fulfilled your standards. 

"Thank you," you said to your maid, smiling at her. "I'll be fine from here." 

You scurried to put on your shoes, and headed out of the room, where you heard the faint sound of the orchestra bless your ears. 

Taking a deep breath in to calm your nerves, you half wished Loki would be here. 

What? Y/N, no. You're supposed to hate him, you thought. You walked gracefully to the ballroom, one hand in the railing and the other lifting the skirt of your dress just a bit so it'd be easier to walk. The orchestra played quietly, letting the people gathered here tonight mindlessly chatter away. 

"Oh, here she is," you heard your mother say, pointing to the top of the stairs, where you were standing. You felt all eyes shift onto you as the talk faded away, but the orchestra was still playing. 

Taking a deep breath again, you looked down the stairs and thought 'It'll be fine.' 

And then you saw him. 

Loki. 

He was clad in all black; black suit, black shirt, black tie, you know it. His hair was slicked back, and just like always, he had that stupid smirk plastered on his face. The smirk you wanted so badly to wipe off his face. But at the same time, you couldn't help to have a certain attraction for the tall man. 

You scoffed and walked stepped gracefully down the stairs. You watched as he eyed you up and down and held out his hand for you. 

You accepted it, and watched suspiciously as he gently grazed his thumb over your knuckles, as if asking if you trust him. You just stared at him, curiously wondering what he was up to, but all he did was bring your hand up to his lips, and place a soft kiss on it. 

"You look ravishing, darling." Loki complimented you. "I like the way your hand fits perfectly into mine." 

"What's up with you?" 

"Nothing!" he replied, feigning sadness. "May I have a dance?" 

"I don't know, can I trust you? You're acting awfully nice." You teased, half meaning it. 

Loki nodded, and led you to the center of the ballroom. You heard shifting around you, you assumed that everyone was also getting ready to dance. You just knew that your parents were watching you like hawks, no doubt wondering why you haven't gotten with Loki when you've had so many "chances''. 

You interlocked one of your hands with Loki's, while your other one was resting his on your shoulder and his was on your shoulder blade. The ensemble started playing some waltz music, and every person started moving with their partner in sync. Mesmerizing movements filled the room, as the gents swirled around in circles with their lady partners around you and Loki. 

You actually danced quite a while with the tall, dark haired male. But everything you two did was in silence. There was eye contact, even some sexual tension, but both of you were silent. By the third dance, you decided to break the silence.  "Bloody hell. You can't dance." 

"Oh, can't I?" He hand slid onto your waist and he tightened his grip and pulled you closer, enough to touch your nose with his. "You should've told me you wanted to put on a show." 

"You don't have to be so rough," you whispered. The music swelled and felt as if it could deafen you. Your face was cross and your eyebrows were furrowed together, the desire to punch him square on the face growing on every step. "Your hand is supposed to stay on my shoulder blade." 

"Same thing" 

"Not even close." 

"Well, I'm sorry." 

"Please, that wouldn't even fool the dumbest baby." 

Loki laughed through his gritted teeth, blue eyes staring right into yours. "Fine, but can you keep up with those adorable little dancing shoes?" 

"Try me." 

You could feel the vibrations of the orchestra's music swimming in the air, attaching strings of gold onto your wrists and carrying you through the ballroom like a graceful marionette. The other dancers began to clear, far too mesmerized by your synchronized movements to focus on their own. The crowd formed a circle and allowed you to take over. 

Loki was light on his feet. You'll give him that. 

"You could at least try to pretend to resent this," Loki chuckled. "Careful now. Don't stare too deep into my eyes, otherwise you might fall in love." 

You scoffed, "You wish." 

"You're right." He spun you around and had you tripping on your toes. He swiftly caught you in his arms before you could fall to the ground. "I wish." 

The dance ended with everyone erupting in applause. The two of you stayed there, out of breath and staring into each other's eyes. 

After what felt like eternity, he let you go. You politely faced him and curtsied, then excused yourself, stepping away from the crowd and making your way up the stairs. You were suddenly aware of your own frantic hearts which seemed like it was about to burst out of your chest any minute. 

Loki's voice rang in your ear. "I wish," repeating over and over and over again, like a broken record. 

You finally made your way to your room and went out to the balcony. You realized it had felt so suffocating in there, with hundreds of people gathered around you. You let the fresh air clear your mind, but it wasn't working today. 

His voice kept ringing and something, somewhere, deep inside of you told you that you felt the same. But why? You were supposed to be enemies, you were supposed to hate each other, but it was the opposite now. 

The same thing that told you it was attraction, also told you that it made sense. The pet names, the charming looks, the mysterious personality, it attracted you. 

"I- I have feelings for him, don't I?" you whispered to yourself, almost out of pity. "I could've chosen anyone in that room, but no. My pathetic heart chose him. Him, of all people!" 

You faintly laughed, resting your forearms on the railing of the balcony, your head hung low and your eyes were shut. "God, this is laughable." 

"May I ask what's laughable, princess?" a familiar voice startled you. 

You spun around and supported your weight by having your hands on the railing behind you, as you looked up to the tall prince. "Nothing," you said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Why are you here?" 

"I wanted to see if you're alright." Loki replied after hesitating. "And to apologize, I feel like I made you uncomfortable." 

You tilted your head to the side, and simply stared at the man. "Why are you so polite?" 

"..." 

Loki stayed quiet and stood beside you. Both if you were looking up at the beautiful night sky, at the complex constellations, and the bright full moon. 

"Is it true what you said?" you decided to break the silence for the second time. 

Loki simply looked down at you, his eyebrows furrowed. 

"When you said 'I wish,'" you added, looking up at the man beside you. "Did you mean it?" 

"Well..." he sighed, looking down, then back at you. "Yes. I just never knew how to tell you until now." 

"Really?" 

"With all my heart." 

You two simply looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Your head was swarmed with thoughts like '’Oh my god, he just confessed'  and 'What do I do? Do I confess as well?'  and 'Y/N, you're so stupid, just kiss him already!' 

It all felt like a fever dream. You were just standing there, in complete shock. Your enemy since who knows when just confessed his love for you, you felt the same way back but you just couldn't open your mouth to speak to save your life. 

"May I have another dance?" Loki held out his hand. 

You nodded, accepting it. His left hand held your right fingers intertwining. His other, however, wasn't at your shoulder blade like they were supposed to be while waltzing. Instead he let his hand rest on your waist, pulling you in close, but not enough to make our noses touch like in the ballroom. That stupid smirk returned to his face, but this time you didn't feel like punching it off if his face like you usually did. Gradually, Loki started leading the slow waltz as you followed along, looking down at your feet and avoiding eye contact. 

"Do you feel the same?" He asked. You could've swore you heard a tinge of hopefulness is his voice. 

"Yes, actually," you replied, finally making eye contact but looking back down again. "I didn't realize it until tonight." 

"That makes the two of us." He chuckled. 

The cold breeze of the dark sky made faint goosebumps on your skin. You barely shivered, but Loki pulled you in a bit closer like he was using his body as a shield to protect yours. 

You slowly started humming a tune to steady your rhythm a bit, and Loki joined in, knowing exactly which piece you were humming. You smiled and let your head rest on his chest, the tiredness of the night finally getting to you. 

"Tired already, angel? It's not even midnight yet." 

"Oh, will you ever shut it? We were having a nice moment for once, if you couldn't tell" Both of you went into a hushed fit of laughter. 

Loki felt like nothing else mattered but you at the moment. He studied your face, memorizing every detail, as if this was the last time he'd ever see you again. The way your eyes would crinkle at the corners, the way your nose you scrunch up when you laughed, the way your lips always looked so kissable. He admired you, the way you always had snarky comebacks to his comments, the way you would scoff whenever he annoyed you, the way you would always seem so nonchalant which always kept him wanting more. 

In short, to Loki you were his whole world, even if he only realized it that very same evening. 

Loki took the hand that was entangled with yours and cupped your face, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your cheek. He pulled you closer by your waist, making you look up at him. Your free hand hinges around Loki's neck, playing with the ends of his hair. 

He slowly pulled you in, but stopped just before his lips met yours. You could feel his breath fanning over them. You could smell his cologne; you could get intoxicated off of it, you didn't know it was like a drug for you until now. You saw that Loki's eyes were half closed, they were staring at your lips, almost like he was unsure of what he was doing. 

You pushed your boy onto his, your lips colliding, and you gently tugged on his hair, while he cupped your face lovingly. You could stay like this for eternity, but you ran out of breath and pulled back. The two of you were quietly gasping for air, your foreheads resting against each other. 

"I care for you Y/N," he murmured, barely loud enough for you to hear. No one else was there, but he wanted you, and only you, to hear it. "deeply." 

"If that was your way to say 'I love you' Loki, I love you too."

[gottlem]

‘let me go’ but like angsty lemyanka maybe if lemon is moving back to nyc from toronto 💔

here u go ! the most angsty thing i have ever written and will probably ever write. i havent proofread it bc its late, im tired and i got a bit carried away and ended up writing 1.7k words so.... yeah. hope u like it ! <3

“let me go”

Lemon and Priyanka were clearly in love. Everyone knew it, everyone could see. Deep down, they both knew that they were, but no matter how many times they ended up in eachothers beds, it just never came up. Because if it did, well, Lemon’s not too sure what would happen. But it would be a lot, maybe too much. So she decided to stick with friends with benefits, nothing more, and it worked. For a while. Until she didn’t know what counted as overstepping anymore and calling Priyanka her friend just felt like a lie, even though it wasn’t, not really. But the ‘not really’ part is what fucked her up. 

Lemon could only deal with so much. She had her walls, they were strong and tall and Priyanka was the only one who could get through, but they just didn’t feel like they were protecting her anymore. One day, she feared they would become a little too high, a little too unstable, and crush her. And she didn’t want Priyanka to have to deal with that. 

She had already made the decision to move back to New York before she even admitted it to herself. She tended to listen to her brain over her heart - you’re less likely to get hurt that way. Somehow, this time round she couldn't quite tell which part she was listening to, but before she knew it, she was on the phone to her friend Jan asking for a place to stay. 

Jan was more than happy, albeit a little concerned, for Lemon to live with her for a bit, claiming she could use the company and the help with rent. It was a win-win situation. Though, was Lemon winning? She wasn’t so sure, she was however very stubborn and once she had made her mind up, there was no going back. It would be nice to see her New York friends again, they hadn’t fallen out of touch but things are always harder when you’re so far apart. Besides, she needed a change of scenery, she missed walking the streets of the city that never sleeps. 

The real reason behind her decision was Priyanka. She didn’t tell anyone about it but Jan, knowing she would need at least some form of support once the train arrived. She just couldn’t bear to keep up with whatever their current situation was, but also she wasn’t sure she had the courage to talk about her real feelings, so the only option she could see was to just run away. They could keep in contact, a couple of texts and maybe a bi-weekly phone call, and Lemon could find some other girl to fall in love with and then she would be over her. 

She didn’t know how to be in love, and even if Priyanka could show her, she didn’t know if she was ready, if she was prepared. Because love was scary. Commitment, too. It’s not that Lemon was scared they would end up breaking up, she was scared that they would never break up. She was still young, and while some people long to find the love of their life early on, Lemon found herself staring at hers right in the face and it just felt too overwhelming. 

She had started hinting to Priyanka that she missed her New York friends about a month before she planned to be leaving. Priyanka would suggest a week’s visit, and Lemon would just shrug it off.  She just didn’t want it to come out of the blue when she finally told her that she'd be moving. And yet, all her hints didn’t stop Priyanka from being surprised. 

It was dark out, and the pair lay not so comfortably in Lemon’s bed. It was too hot but neither had the energy to do anything about it, so they stayed there in silence, Lemon slowly building up the courage to speak. 

“Hey, Pri?” She barely recognised her own voice, hating the crack that came out when she started speaking. Priyanka hummed in response, turning her head to face Lemon’s, eyes trained on the side of Lemon’s head as the yellow haired girl stared blankly at the ceiling. Eye contact would be too much, she didn’t want to see Priyanka’s face when she told her. 

“I’m moving back to New York.”

Silence. 

More silence.

Then, the shuffling of covers and creaks of floorboards as Priyanka grabbed her stuff and left. Somehow Lemon didn’t register any of it until the door had shut behind her. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.

The next day, Priyanka showed up at her door again, not too long after the sun rose. She looked tired, but Lemon said nothing because she probably looked the same.

“Sorry for just, leaving. I, uh, I was pissed off? I think?” Lemon’s jaw dropped.

“I’m sorry, you were pissed? At me? Priyanka, I get that I could have told you sooner but don’t pretend like telling you would have made me change my mind.”

“Wouldn’t it? Why are you moving anyway? When are you moving?”

“I miss my friends. I miss New York. I need a change, a get-away. I leave in two weeks”

“Jesus Christ,” Priyanka almost stomped past Lemon, sitting on the couch with an angry thud.  “You’re telling me, you move to New York in two weeks, because you miss your friends, and I am only just finding out now? That is bullshit, Lemon”

Of all of the reactions Lemon anticipated, this was not one of them. They never argued. They always poked fun, never too serious, always having a good time. But this was new. Lemon didn’t even know how to argue with Priyanka. She didn’t even know how she was supposed to react to hearing her full name, and the way she said it too. Lemon couldn’t quite place a finger on how Priyanka was feeling, not used to not being able to read her like an open book, and she fucking hated it. But if Pri wanted to argue, then they were going to argue. Lemon didn’t make this decision on whim, she needed to do this, she needed to move, she didn’t have a choice. 

“God, Priyanka, do I need to tell you everything? It’s not like I’m your fucking girlfriend!” She regretted saying it the second it came out of her mouth, no matter how true it was. They avoided the word ‘girlfriend’ like the plague, but apparently this was the line that needed to be crossed to have this discussion.

“No, you don’t need to tell me everything, but if you’re moving to New York? Yeah, maybe tell me. Maybe mention it before you have to leave in two weeks, for fucks sake, Lem”

She had stopped shouting, her voice sounding a bit more tired and defeated that angry. Things were complicated. Lemon thought running away would be the easiest option. And maybe she was right. Maybe the easiest option was still hard, but it was too late to change her mind now. The damage had been done, and now Priyanka knew that she would be getting on the train in two weeks time, and they didn’t know when they’d see eachother again after that.

They spent all day talking. Avoiding direct eye contact, getting goosebumps every time their hands accidentally touched. Unsaid ‘I love you’s floated around them, taunting them every time Lemon went over her excuse for moving. They hid behind sad smiles and even sadder eyes, but never managed to actually surface, not like they ever did anyways. 

They pretended like nothing happened the next day. Instead, they opted to make the most of the last week and a bit left they had together, refusing to mention the fact that time was slipping, or how much they would be lost without each other. Lemon spent her nights on the phone to Jan, planning logistics, but mostly trying not to cry about how she was leaving the woman who was quite possibly her soulmate in another country for however long without telling her how she feels.

Her final day in Toronto came round after what felt like a short eternity. She was only slightly ready. Her yellow suitcase rolled next to her and she drowned out the noise of the train station with her earphones on full volume. A coffee warmed her shaking hands as she waited for the train she was obnoxiously early for. Not long past before she felt someone sit down next to her and place a hand on her shoulder, startling her from the daze she had managed to force herself into.

Of fucking course it was Priyanka. And of course she was looking at Lemon with tears threatening to shed. Lemon placed her hand in Priyanka’s after taking out her earphones, and gave it a small squeeze.

“I don’t want you to go” Lemon wished she could kiss her and say she didn’t want to go either. But she couldn't because she would be lying. She wanted to go. She loved Priyanka, and Priyanka loved her. They both knew it, without it being said. But Lemon just wasn’t ready. 

“I know. I’ll miss you” Priyanka shook her head and tears began to fall down her cheeks, one by one then all at once. 

“God, Lem, what went wrong? Do I have to fucking beg you to stay or something? I don’t understand why you have to move all the way to New York, I don’t know what I’m even supposed to do without you here”

Lemon refused to cry. She absolutely refused. When she felt the back of her eyes stinging with tears, she simply shook her head and pushed them back. Not now. Not in front of Pri.

She took her other hand, and looked Priyanka in the eyes, inching in closer and closer. 

“Pri, I’m going, and it’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna be fine, and you’re gonna be fine, okay love? It’s time to just… let me go.”

Lemon released her hands and stood up, the action followed by Priyanka, who gave her a bone crushing hug, still crying. When she finally let go, she gave her a small kiss on the top of her head, and Lemon had to hold back her tears for the millionth time within the past five minutes. They looked at each other for just a moment, once again opting to not say anything, despite it being their final chance. Lemon gave a small nod, as if in response to the silence, before turning away and walking to her platform. She didn’t look behind her. And if she stopped holding back her waterfall of tears the second she faced the other way, she could hide that from Priyanka too.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hi sweety!🥰 could you please develope a prompt where x reader goes to Arthur's apartment for a coffee (they're only friends maybe?) and then she forgot her sweater (🥺) by him. so the next day he goes to her apartment to bring the sweater back to her. And idk if you want to add some cuddles or a cold weather and a warm tea🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much

Oh sweetheart, your request warmed my heart and it was so much fun to write it.  You know I have a weakness for sweater stories when it comes to our sweet Artie.Thank you so much. I really really hope you like it.

Pressing that elevator button felt different, knowing that you wouldnt go into your own apartment but ringing the bell on Arthur`s door. You knew each other since you moved into this building a few months ago but it took you weeks to finally make the first move and talk to him.

Arthur was a very shy man with intense eyes and a beautiful smile, which was hiding so much pain. You could tell from the way he was making jokes that he was sad. He was the kind of person who wanted to make others happy because he couldnt find happiness himself. Observing his loneliness made you sad. It hurt you to see that a wonderful man like him was all alone. Every since his mother was commited to Arkham state hospital he lived a lonely life in his dark apartment. Sometimes you could hear him laugh through the walls. It was a different kind of laughter, almost like he was in pain. One day he started laughing out of the blue and he handed this card to you, which said something about a condition. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he was too shy to interact with people. You have never seen him with someone else. Being his only friend felt special. Thats what you were. Friends. At least you thought so. Arthur never showed any kind of interest in being more than that. He was always very friendly, awkwardly shy and incredibly sad. Even when he was funny. Especially ehen he was funny.

You walked down the halls with a racing heart. You fell hard for this beautiful, sad soul. Just the thought of meeting up with him for a coffee made your knees weak. If only he knew if you were in love with him. But how could you vere tell him without risking his freindship? Maybe he prefered to be alone. Arthur always seemed like he could be scared away easily and you didnt wanted to. Just sitting beside him on his couch, feeling his presence was a gift. You could never risk to lose that.

Meeting up for a coffee after work was something you used to do pretty often now. Sometimes he would take you to the donut shop, even though he never ate one, but this time he invited you to come over to his place. Which felt so much more intimate.

You took a deep breath as you rang the doorbell.

"Coming" Arturs soft voice sounded like he was already smiling.

He opened the door. His brown curls matched his worn out chestnut sweater. A cigarette was tugged between his thin lips. He looked tired but his natural beauty was almost hurtful.

"Hi Y/N." his smile exposed his crooked tooth, which reminded you of how many nights you yearned for him to kiss you.

"Hey Arthur. I`m sorry I´m a bit late. I had to work longer today. "

"Its fine. I mean...I won`t go anywhere. I`m....here..." for a brief moment there was an awkward silence between the two of you. Then he turned around "Sit down...I mean....." he ran his fingers through his hair, appearently nervous ".....make yourself at home. I`ll make some coffee."

He headed into the kitchen while you sat down on the couch and took off your sweater.It was cold outside.Gotham city wasnt very pleasent during wintertime. The cold easily managed to get to your bones.

It was the 3rd time you every sat here. The fabric was old and faded, yellow and blue pillows decorated the corners. Along with  flowery and green sheets. Everything smelled like him. The scent of passion and romance. You always imagined Arthur to be a very romantic lover. The thought of that made you blush while he came back from the kitchen to hand you a hot cup of coffee.

"I`m sorry I only have these self made Murray Franklin show cups to offer you. Kinda embarassing." He took a sip of his own cup which looked exactly like yours , except for the handwritten letters looking a bit more shaky.

You turned the cup in yor hands "I think thats pretty sweet actually. Making your own cups of your fave tv show".

Arthurs eyes pierced you while he took another sip. The color of his eyes was everything.

"Yeah?"

"Sure!"

"You`re the only one who thinks so" he lit himself another cig and took a deep drag. His eyelids fluttered for a second. Details. details everywhere. Arthur was like a museum of details.

"My mother thought it was stupid. She said it reminds her of the fact that we dont even have enough money to buy the real cup."

You gave him a serious look "No, I really think its a creative thing to do. You are a creative guy."

His face lighted up "You think i´m crative? "

"Sure. You do write your own jokes, right?"

"Mhhh hmmmm, yeah"

"See? Very creative."

"Maybe I am" Arthurs left leg started bouncing and you caught yourself thinking how nice it would be to place your hand on his knee and make it stop by calming him down. You imagined how the fabric of his blue pants would feel under your fingertips. Or his naked skin...

Arthur sat close beside you, yet not close enough for his knee or arm to touch yours. You thought about how you could possibly touch him by accident. Feeling the fabcric of his clothes or his bare skin stroking yours was all you could think about.

He put the cup back on the table and looked at you in a way he never did before. His eyes focused you without blinking. Like the shyness within him was gone for a brief moment. You tried to mirror his stare, but it was impossible to look into his eyes without fighting  the urge to grab his face and kiss him. So you focused on the curl that was dancing in his neck instead. Not a good idea as well. Looking at this vulnerable part of his body only made you yearn for more.

You caught yourself looking away, which made you hate yourself. How could you possibly turn your head away when he was finally looking at you like that?

"You`re a party clown right?"

Arthur finally blinked "Yeah."

"I`d love to see some of your acts some day"

"I also do stand up comedy. Maybe you`ll come to Pogos when I perform next week?"

"Ohh Arthur, I would love that" and all of te sudden your hand was resting on his thigh. Arthurs muscles twitched under your soft touch. Like he wasnt used to being touched at all.

His smile said more than a thousand words "Wow, thats great news. I would love to see you in the audience. I will try to give my best performance for you. You know what Y/N? I´m gonna write a joke especially for you. Would you like that?"

Your hand was still on his leg. Touching him was magical. Like your hand was always supposed to be there. You nodded. Unable to say a word.

He looked at the back of yor hand like he couldnt belive that someone was actually resting his hand on him. You could tell from his eyes how touch starved he was.

All of the sudden Arthur got up. Your hand falling off his leg felt wrong.

"So I think I better work on that jokes now." he mumbled while he headed to his desk.

Right now? You felt the disappointment rising in your heart. He wanted you to leave?

"They better be good if you`re gonna be a part of the audience!" he added.

"Okay Arthur. It was nice to have a coffee with you. Im sure your new jokes will turn out incredibly funny.""

He smiled his sweetest smile while he grabbed the pen, looking like he was already about to concentrate.

"You know, I wrote this joke last night but I havent figured out the punchline yet. Punshlines are important. And facial expessions. I feel like I always get them wrong. And I have to look into peoples eyes more often."

"Sounds like a great plan, Arthur. "

"Thank you Y/N. I`m trying. I really do."

"I know"

"I want my stand ups to be good enough for the big clubs." he pressed his journal to his chest.

"I`m sure some day you will be well known. Everyone will  know the name Arthur Fleck and think of a grea comedian".

You noticed his eyes watering as he walked you to the door "Even kids?"

"Sure?"

"That would be sweet"

You wrapped his arms around him as you said our goodbyes "So, I`ll see you next week at Pogos?" he asked.

"Definitely!"

Your hug felt a little too tight for being just friends and you hoped he didnt noticed.

It felt a little too long too, but you couldnt help but trying to get a nose full of the smell of his soft curls.

Arthur looked after you before he closed the door behind him.

You walked down the hallway to get to your own apartment and immediately missed him.

Twenty minutes later you found yourself lying on your bed, realizing that you forgot your sweater on his couch. Should you gt over and  get it? You decited not to. He porobably was working on his jokes right now and you didnt wanted to bother him. So instead of visiting him one more time you just disappeared under the blanket and dreamed of him for the rest of the night.

The next day felt like a fever dream. Fantasizing about Arthurs lips and hands for the whole night left you with a strange feeling in your chest. Was it wrong to think of him that way? You thought about your sweater and how it was lying in Arthurs apartment for the whole night. You wondered if he left it lying on the couch and if he was still sleeping on the couch now that Penny was at the hospital? You couldnt concentrate while working at all. Your beautiful neighbor filled your mind with so many questions and daydreams. Daydreaming about him became something that helped you to get through the day. Just thinking of him chuckeling made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like nothing could harm you anymore.

This man was magic.

And you wanted him so bad.

Somehow the day passed by like every day does and you found yourself alone in the bathroom, looking at the mirror, wondering if you were even his type of girl. You had no idea in what kinda girls he was into.

And just as you started wondering someone knocked at your door. Was it possible...?

You nervously hurried up to open it.

It was him.

Arthur was standing in front of you, holding your sweater in his hands.

"Hi Y/N. I dont know if you noticed but... you forgot your sweater yesterday and I didnt wanted to bother you and...."

"Ohhh Arthur. Thats so sweet of you. Yeah I noticed. Thank you."

You could swear that he was about to blush.

"You wanna come in?"

Arthur nodded while he stumbled through your door.

"Make yourself comfy, I am right back" you smiled as he sat down in the living room.

You disappeared in the bathroom, pressing your face into your sweater to see if it smelled differently. It did. There was a hint of Arthurs cologne on it. His flowery shampoo and the smell of smoke. Your sweater smelled like him.

You buried your face deeper into the fabric and breathed in.

It was your piece of clothing but it felt like it was his. Breathing in the scent that was so him was the most intimate moment of your entire life. Was that what it feels like to fall asleep in his arms? To cuddle with him on the couch while watching his fave comedy shows on the screen? Was that what he smelled like under his clothes? His bare skin? Was that the scent that would surrowd you while making love to him?

Your thoughts went all over the place while you rubbed the fabric against your blushing cheeks.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

Arthurs voice woke you from your daydreams "Oh, yeah sure. Just got to use the bathroom. I´ll be right back"

"Okay! "

A minute later you sat beside him on the couch, the sweater still in your hands.

Arthur stared at it. His hands lay on his lap while he played with his own fingers.

"I have to admit something" he said "It`s so embarrassing. I dont even know how to tell you...."

"You can tell me anything, Arthur"

"There is a stain on your sweater now. It was me. I`m so sorry. I ruined it. Its face paint. I still got it on  my fingers after I cleaned my brushes. " he showed you the spots where he stained it.

Traces of him.

This somehow made you very emotional.

Its was his sweater now.

Through and through.

"Thats okay, Arthur. Dont worry. I dont mind."

"Really?" he seemed surprised.

"I dont mind at all !"

He shrug "Well there is another thing.... after I noticed you forgot your sweater on my couch... there was a reason I didnt came over to hand it to you last night. Its so embarrassing, oh my god..."

You giggled "Okay? Why didnt you?"

"I....put it on" Arthur buried his face in his hands "Sorry, dont hate me. Please. I put your sweater on and I slept in it." His legs started to bounce.

You coudlnt belive what you just heard. That was the cutest thing you could have imagined.

"Arthur,really? You slept in my sweater?"

He exposed his face.

"I know...I know....its...I`m sorry. Now you must think I`m a total freak or a stalker or something." He looked down on the floor, way too shy to look you in the eyes while he started to bite his nails.

"Actually I think thats pretty cute." you chuckled. The blood was rushing to your face. This man really got under your skin.

"What? Are...are you serious? You´re not mad at me? You dont think i´m a freak?"

"I could never think you`re a freak. I´m glad you told me. Now I`m going to tell you something much more embarrassing, okay? So you see that you are not the only one."

Arthur gave you an insecure look "Okay?"

"When I was at the bathroom before, I sniffed my sweater because I hoped it would smell like your apartment."

"I`m sorry if it smells like smoke now."

"Noooo not because of that! I wanted it to smell like... you!"

Arthurs eyes filled with love "You mean...."

You nodded as your eyes watered "I`m in love with you ever since I saw you for the first time. I just didnt knew how to tell you."

Arthur fell into your arms "Me too Y/N. Oh god.....me,too."

You pulled him closer. You never noticed how tiney he was in your arms. How fragile.

"Why havent you told me?" you asked him, while his face was buried in your neck.

"I didnt wanted to boter you. People often feel bothered by me. They think I`m weird. I was glad you even talked to me. Those short coffee breaks meant the world to me."

"Artie, this is just....I`m speechless."

He chuckled, now facing you "You just called me Artie".

"I know. Thats what I called you in my head all the time".

"I could get used to that" he smirked, which made his lip scar show even more intense.

"I cold call you Artie all night if you want to stay. " you whispered into his ear.

"I would love to. I mean its cold outside and some cuddles and warm tea would be nice..."

"Or some kisses" you added.

"Or some kisses....." Arthur turned his face to the left and put your face between his gentle hands.

His lips on yours felt even better than in your fantasy.

His taste filling your mouth was all you ever wanted.

And as you both fell into the pillows  you buried your face into his curls and took a deep breath of Arthur Fleck.

@impulsiveclown @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes  @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker  @check-out-this-joker @darknessisafriend  @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown    @neon-umbrella-for-stella   @cherrymoon75 @call-me-harley-quinn  @arthurjokersgirl

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Mano eu amo vc kkklkklk só entro aqui pelo meu amado Royai , Todomomo e por Vc , amo headcannons do Chisaki com enfermeiras 😏 queria ele com uma no tartarus , e ele dando chilique pq só quer ser atendido por ela kkkkk ( se não for abusar ) bjs

"Man I love you kkklkklk I only come here for my beloved Royai, Todomomo and for you, I love Chisaki's headcannons with nurses 😏 I wanted him with one at the tartarus, and he giving a tantrum because he just wants to be attended to by her kkkkk (if not to abuse) kisses"

"MISS (L/N)!" a young male nurse had just barged into the room you were currently on, and the poor thing seemed both devasted and like he was attacked by something.

"Woah there kiddo calm down!" You exclaimed while getting up, holding the poor young worker's shoulder as he breathed in and out desperately, somehow finding comfort in you again. "What's wrong? Did you went to All for One's cell and he sayed bullshit and then you fell down the stairs?" You giggled while the poor young man growled.

Being a worker on the the most famous villains prison always did indeed messes up with your mind... Tartarus had the most dangerous and cruelest villains ever that Japan had, and clearly sometimes ghey did messed up with tbe workers minds... or at least try it to.

"N-no... please just go talk with the guard outside. I can't deal with this anymore. I don't get ONE STEP closer to that man's cell!" He exclaimed while abruptly getting a cup of coffee on the machine.

You blinked at that and hesitantly walked out of the rest room to be met with one guard and your superior.

"Good morning gentlemans. What's gotten into him?" The guard huffed a puff of irritated air as he pointed with his chin at one direction while your superior sighed in desperation.

"The same thing that happened with the other four nurses that covered your shift on that man's cell (Y/n)... no one can enter that place besides you, is a fact by now." You tilted your head in confusion before the guard manifested.

"That bastard Chisaki, miss (y/n). Even without his arms the son of a bitch can still kick anyone's ass who dares to take one step inside his cell.... except you apparently. "

You really had to hold back your laughter at that one.

Overhaul, Chisaki Kai. He was the new prisoner that had just got in Tartarus one year by now... you were the first; your coworkers sayed 'poor soul'; one to get inside and talk face to face with the villain as you explained to him.

His eyes were so empty and yet so full of terror... only nodding and shooking his head numbly, not even dating to meet your eyes... but even despite that he was still a very arrogant and stubborn man, not letting you touch him by any means for the first few visits you made.

You were patient though... making small conversations, slowly getting why he was here exactly... hearing him talk instead of hearing humors or reading his profile.

After some weeks he allowed you to touch him with gloves; you threatened to his wounds and let him vent... you knew he needed that more than anything by that moment, and you were more than glad to hear that beautiful voice...

After you hearf what exactly took his arms away you were shocked, disgusted and sad... surprising the man in so many levels.

After months of talkating, threating and knowing each other, he was slightly infatuated by you, and the moment you explained to him you were quirkless was just the cherry on top for Chisaki to threat you completely different than his forst meeting with you.

He wouldn't at least complain THAT MUCH when you feeded him at least... both arms losted made the simplest activities seem like it was impossible.

Although there was this one time you couldn't come and sended one friend of yours instead while you took care of a newbie on the prison..

Poor woman came back traumatized and asked to leave her job the next day.

Then another time when you were sick, knewing about Chisaki's mysophobia you asked gently another coworker to go in there instead of you.

The man came back with a beaten up face and in the end the nurse needed to be treated...

This happened at least four times by now... and always ended on the same thing.

"(Y/N), not even us can enter his cell. He knocked out at least five or six guards of ours..." the man exhale desperate.

"And had the nerve of demanding your presence and leaving me with a damn scar on the left side of my face." Yhe guard showed it to you the medium scar adoring his jaw.

"Jesus Christ..." you whispered with widen eyes as you sended him to see the nurse inside, he had a minor healing quirk to that would help a bit... at least.

"Please (y/n) go into his cell, he hadn't eaten anything the whole day and didn't changed his bandages... and with the fight he had with our guards and nurse he surely afquired more bruises." You nodded before picking your stuff and walking towards Overhaul's cell.

You placed your card and passed through the door which quickly closed, safety measures in there were serious, as you looked around the cell and smiled at seing the back of the man sitting on his bed.

"You need to stop doing that you know?" Your voice caught his attention as he turned his front to you with a monotonously look while you gave him a sweet but yet nervous smile, pointing at outside.

"Poor thing looked like he had just come out of a war! What did you even do?" You picked a washcloth and rubbed the hints of blood from the walls, which you couldn't help but wince.

"They sended a incompetent useless brat that surely wouldn't be fit for a decent job." He said numbly before sighing when you sitted on a chair next to his bed.

"Then I do a 'decent job' then?" You giggled while he only stared back at you "I will have you know that one of the womans that came in here were one of our best nurses... until she left her work after covering me that timr." You eyed him with a cocky smile and a eyebrow lifted up.

"Didn't sound like she was. And don't get full of yourself now, you just happen to be only one I can atture." He growled, easing up a bit at hearing your giggling a apology.

Such a sweet thing on this dark, depressed and dangerous place... how surprised yet blessed was he?

Did he really deserved any of your kindness? Any of your sweet as honey words?

You brought up on your bag before breaking apart the chopsticks. He arched kne eyebrow at it before noticing that the usual disgusting food or soup; gosh he hated soup more than germs; that he was served at tartarus weren't in the room.

Placing the pieces together he sighed in annoyance and embarrassment before laying his head on the wall.

"You will be fired for that idiot. Giving a prisoner proper food instead of that disgusting and nauseous things..." you look up at him, already a takoyaki on the chopsticks.

"Don't worry." You chirped "First I told them this was my lunch, then after I lost the hunger. Simple as that!" You sayed cutely while he deadpanned.

"What a poor and dumb strategy."

"Hey! Is a good one!"

"No of course it isn't." He showed with his chin at the camera "Those sick can see us and hear us by now."

"Only see. And like my genius plan will work, we've got nothing to worry about it!"

"You will be fired." He said monotonously but still feeling a painful bitter grow on his chest.

You being fired meaned that you weren't coming back. Others will try to replace you... dumb and idiotics... no one could replace such a divine creature.

"Actually I don't think I would be fired... especially when I am the only one that enters in here that Isn't... you know, knocked out or simply left here terrified of everthing."

He hummed in annoyance before frowning at seing you standing a bit of the food you had for him to eat.

He had to control really hard to not to blush.. he never ever had these problems, so why with you was so... warm and left him without air?

He reluctantly parted his lips, averting his eyes before you placed gently the food inside his mouth.

He sighed in bliss at not feeling the lifeless taste he was used to by now or the disgusting misoshiro soup they offered. The flavors on his mouth giving him a moment.

"Is it good?" He nodded monotonously still munching slowly, averting his gaze away from your at seing you had smiled sweetly at him. "That's a good thing Chisaki-kun!"

He swallowed before feeling shivers of displeasure at hearing that name, he wasn't Overhaul anymore and had demanded you to not call him that either... but his first name? Were you even going to accept it?

"Chisaki? Don't want the rest?" Your voice broked him out of his thoughts as he looked at you extending another small amount of food to him again.

He growled again before accepting and opening his mouth again.

This was humiliating...

After he finished you were relieved at least, since your superior had told you that Chisaki havent eaten anything since your last visit...

"Kai." He suddenly said before you offered him a cup of water.

"Huh?"

"Call me this. Do not call me 'Chisaki-kun', it sound ridiculous, so call me 'Kai' instead."

He looked at you from the conor of his eye and got surprised at seing the hint of pink on your cheeks.

"Ok then.. Kai." You smiled warmly at him and for the first time that you ever met this man, he half smiled.

You wanted to scream at the sign, despite being a villain, you couldn't deny that Chisaki was attractive, but seing him smile? It was just another level.

"U-uh.. Oh! I remembered!" You messed around on your bag before taking out a black surgeon mask, his eyes widening a bit at the sign. "I brought this for you. Sorry for taking too long, im such a cloud head!" You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment as his eyes still were pierced to the mask.

"Why...?" He asked sorely and weakly, making your soine go cold.

"Well, I know how you aren't the most comfortable in here, and also your mysophobia... so I went to look for masks, but I knew you also prefered black so it took me a while to find it... the majority of them are always white or even blue..."

He looked up at you, eyes full of disbelief yet shock.

"C-Can I put it for you?" It ook a bit of time for him to answer back before he slowly but suspiciously nodded.

Instead of feeling jis skin errup in irritation, he felt waves of electricity and warmth surround all of his body when he felt the tinies and quickiest brush of your fingers on both sides of his face.

He arched one of his eyebrows at you when he heard your whine when you got back. Silently demanding a explanation for that sound.

"Is just that... now I can't see your smile neither your whole beautiful face anymore..." you immediately smacked a hand over your mouth in panic.

Did you really just said that OUT LOUD?!

His low disbelieved yet relieved chuckle made you ease uo a bit before tensing at seing how tjose golden eyes were luff red, but knowing him, he wouldn't let any tear fall, evem if he needed.

"I think you're mistaken things here... you're the... you still have bkth of your arms and also are the... beautiful one... not the lther way around... I'm hideous... not from outside, but inside... can't you see..?" he swallowed the sob before he saw your own eyes tearing up.

"Why are you crying for now?" He asked quite angrily before returning to his cold composture again.

"I guess... its because I think you're the last lerson that deserved to go through this..."

"You're a idiot." He dropped his head hund low "I know you readed and know what I've done, so stop pretending-"

"You just wanted to repay your father... righ Kai?"

He felt his body freeze at your commentary, he slowly looked up at you and cri ged at the sign of you, ghe most beautiful and pure person he ever saw, crying because of him.

"I know how you feel... I'm so sorry. The yakusa shouldn't had ended in that way..."

Before he knew it a sob escaped from his mouth and he immediately cursed out loud. He felt your arms envelope around him, not feeling irritated but instead... relieved.

"I can check on him if you want..." you offered as his silent tears fell from his eyes.

"I did that to him...he just wouldn't accept it and I did that with him... I-" he interrupted himself at feeling your hand to pat his head gently.

"I know... I know." He let himself relax at your body, it was way comfortable than that project of bed of his...

"You better had showered and not to tell this-"

"Showered at least two times today and why would I tell this to someone?" You asked while resting your head on his neck as he did the same with your head.

"... I have no idea. You're definitely the most weird perso I ever met... and I have met plenty."

"Is that a good or a bad thing at least?"

"...good. A... good thing. A weird... angel.." you widened your eyes and vlushed furiously at hearing of what he called you.

You looked up and saw how his eyes were peaceful closed... poor man didn't get good sleep...

A guard passed through and you made a signal to him, clearly telling him to go away and that you were spending your whole shift on here.

You were falling for this criminal... it was wrong? Deadass wrong... but you couldn't control it.

Both of you had putted each other on a spell and didn't even knew it...

[snickiebear]

hiya snickie!!! came here to SCREAM with u!!!!!! i so love the action in OL&W!!! thank u so much for the lovely update ❤️ im a little confused about where shika’s intense hate is coming from… obviously the war and all that but it’s not like he and his guild didn’t kill a whole bunch of others who fought too… i sorta feel he’s being irrational about Sakura but maybe when your shadows talk like his do, you’re bound to stray from logic somehow…

ANYWAYYYYY mysterious sakura is mysterious AND add in gaara to that mix — I LIVE FOR A JEALOUS SHIKA IN DENIAL! it’s sad doe that sakura had to fight temari and now our dear sand baby no longer has his sibs :( please dont make him resent sakura, he feels like a genuine friend to our fearsome pink tiger

UGH i have so many questions and i havent even checked out the index yet but i will soon! i just wanted to drop by first! 🥰 but if u would be so inclined to answer (unless it’s a spoiler):

1. will we know more about sakura’s relationship with itachi and shisui? in the first (?) chap, i think she said something like “i see itachi has found me” which definitely sounds like a hide-and-seek thing with them and i dont mind an itasaku angle to this ❤️❤️❤️

2. is there a chance for ino and sakura to be friends jn this AU? right now it seems like sakura only cares about shika and whatever it is going on in her head (but still about shika). it also feels like ino just wants to steer clear of sakura??? but maybe that would change after the latest chapter??????

3. will we ever know where shikaku disappeared to in the months before the war ended (also known as “the final battle feat. sakura’s badass drop from the sky”) i’m quite curious as to why shikaku seems so chill when sakura appeared in their guild… he obvs knows something i dont hmph

4. do u have an inspiration for their outfits? it’s not as easy for me to imagine the characters and setting in my head because i also was not exposed to a lot of fantasy literature/movies/etc.

UGH I SWEAR IM ENJOYING THIS TOO MUCH!!! remember when i told u i don’t really like fantasy AUs but then you go write this amazing piece and add in some mystery to the freaking truth about the war… HOW EVEN??? 😱 i love the mystery about everything in OL&W so even if i have all these questions here i am giggling to myself trying to think up different possibilities 😆

thank u so so so much! ur work keeps me on my toes, as always! can’t wait for the next chapter!!!!

🐱

🐱!!!!!!!!

HEY BBY!!!!

you are 100% right to think that shika’s anger is like “dude eat a snickers”! he is being irrational, but he doesn’t see it that way. he blames the losing of the war on sakura, he’s putting a lot of anger towards her… and like you said, with the Shadows whispering in his ears, it is a bit hard to tell reality from thought. ;) plus, shikamaru is a very unreliable narrator. 

YES JEALOUS SHIKA! I’m so glad you caught onto that! its the beginning of the “I hate her” and “don’t touch her” conflict. and i can’t wait to get into it moreee >:))

as for gaara! Don’t worry too much about our sand bby. he is very intimate with death (*cough cough*). plus, he and saku are longterm friends, it would take much more than sakura putting down his turncoat “sister” to sever that bond. they’ve known each other for years now ;)

AAAAAA 🐱 you’ll make me cry! thank you so much for coming over here and screaming at me!!!!! I LOVE IT!

1) kind of! the next chap we’ll be seeing shisui and itachi! Though, the amount of info we get on them and saku will depend on shika (but for you 🐱 i’ll see what i can do ;) )

also! ITAKSAU! i love that ship, its so fun to read and aaaaa but! im not gonna really dive deep into those two and i am always up for leaving things for interpretation. Plus, sakura’s lived since the Violent Era, so itasaku might have happened ;))

fun fact! in the very early stages of this (very first drafts) i had itasakushi a thing, and i quite liked it soo take that as you will ;))))

2. HOPEFULLY! ive been turning it over in my head so much lately and i’m hoping so! there are time skips after almost every chapter (until the end ones) so im hcing that later on (you’ll see) that they work together and come to stand on stable footing. also a thing to remember; ino and cho are not the same as shika, they don’t see sakura in the same light. also, they’re a lot mentally healthier LMAO

3. ah yes! he and his half of the army simply lost communication and probably had been bombarded and cornered by the enemy! ALSO I LOVE THAT NAME AHAHAHA! near the end shikaku comes clean about why saku was there. for the past eight years shikaku and yoshino have been trying to protect shikamaru (and themselves) from the growing “rebellion”, it got too much so sakura came in to clean up house. plus, saku and shikaku are friendly, saku and yoshino are def friends.

so, they know they can depend on sakura to take care of things, hence why they’re so relaxed about the murders LMAO

4. yes! and kinda! so if u check out the pinterest board and scroll through it all, near the “bottomish” you should be able to find some clothing/weapon references to give you an idea/vibe! in all honesty, i don’t have a clear cut image in my head either, so whatever comes to mind works great :)))

AAAAAA 🐱 ILYSM!!! I still cannot get over the fact that you took a chance on this, that means everything to me!!! and the fact that you’re really enjoying it???? take my heart! its yours! there are going to be even more mystery elements coming in the next chapter (this is where “plot” starts and im so HYPE)

If you ever have any questions (or theories after reading the index) please let me know! i’d love to hear and answer em!! And maybe push you in the right direct ;)))

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!!!! :))))) ILY

[grapesodatozier]

I don't know if this has been done before ( though I feel like it hasn't cuz I ain't seen it anywhere yet) but virgin Mike with experienced Richie? That would be HOT and sweet and intense

oh man!! you are so right anon, this is super hot and super sweet!! this one is a whole novel lmao so under the cut again

oooooookay so i was gonna make this a fic bc i love this idea so much but i decided that i have so many thoughts that im just gonna talk about it SO. first of all. this is so gd sweet bc like?? the trust here?? like mike being 22 and hes never done anything more than hand stuff, meanwhile richie had a slut phase his sophomore and junior years of college so hes seen a lot lol. so for mike to open up to richie and tell him that hes never done this before?? to not be embarrassed or scared that he'll be bad at it?? to trust that richie will take care of him and wont judge him?? to make himself that vulnerable and feel comfortable and safe?? that just really gets me emotional okay that is beautiful

so here's what im picturing:

friends to lovers ofc bc friends to lovers is that trope!! so mike and richie meet in college, and they've been friends for a few years when one night mike stays later in richies dorm room than everyone else and they stay up til like two just talking, and theyre both a little sleepy but they dont want the night to end, and they've drifted closer together until their breaths are mingling and their noses are just brushing against one another, and mike leans forward and closes the distance bc he cant take the way his heart is racing, and richie is giving him this look thats driving him wild, and he needs to know if richies lips are as soft as they look, and hes so tired and richie is so warm and everything is so quiet it almost feels like a dream. and then richie is kissing him back, soft and intentional at first, but then hes laying mike down and the kiss gets so much deeper it has mikes entire body glowing.

they stay up until 4:30 just kissing and talking and touching each other so gently, just stroking each others cheeks and running knuckles over each others sides, taking in that this is all real. then richie ofc is like "mike youre sleepy i dont want you walking across campus by yourself at 4am and also i dont want you to leave" so mike stays over, and sleeping in richies arms is the best sleep hes gotten since he got to college

so they're a couple, and theyre hooking up, but they're about a month in now and they havent done anything past hand stuff. and richie is super patient, he doesn't wanna rush anything, but he thinks maybe mikes just nervous about being the one to intitiate going further?? so one time when theyre grinding into each other, basically just dry humping on richies bed, richie murmurs in mike's ear, "fuck, baby, wanna get my mouth on that pretty cock of yours so fucking bad" but then mike stiffens, his movements stopping completely, so obviously richies like shit im sorry did i do something wrong?? and then mike is blushing super hard and explains that he's never done anything more than hand stuff and hes really nervous, and richie is so soft for mike, he adores him, and hes just kissing all over his face like "baby, why didn't you tell me? you know i'll take such good care of you" and mike m e l t s and then he gets a little coy like "will you... show me?" all biting his lip and batting his eyes as if he hasn't been jerking off to the thought of asking richie that question for over a year now. and richies response is just what mike wants, he can see his eyes getting darker, and mike is thrilled. and richie kisses him so deeply and passionately like "fuck yes baby, i've got you, i'll show you, baby"

and then clothes are coming off and richies blowing mike bc he insists on going first bc hes so excited to give mike his first blowjob and absolutely blow his mind. and honestly, he doesnt tell mike this until a few weeks later when they've settled into things more, but knowing that he was the only one to ever make mike feel that good made richie feel so warm, and also made his skin burn in the most amazing way, and the whole time mike was moaning and squirming beneath him richie couldnt help but think mineminemine, only mine, and he murmurs things like "my sweet baby" into mikes hip, almost low enough for mike not to hear it, but he does and he absolutely loves it

and then richie is guiding mike through blowing him, and its both so hot and so sweet?? like mikes teeth keep catching every now and then, and like yeah it hurts a bit but its also endearing?? like?? richie loves him so much and this is such an intimate thing and mikes trusting him with this moment in his life?? richie has to keep himself from blurting out his first "i love you" while mikes blushing and apologizing and richies just like "thats okay baby, you're doing so good" bc of course mike wants to be good at this, and then mike says "wanna make you feel good" all shy and a little bit sad and embarrassed and richies like nonono baby you make me feel so good you have no idea, and he cups mikes face and mike nuzzles into his palm bc richie is so warm and he makes mike feel so safe and loved bc he is!!

when they first have penetrative sex (or fuck or make love or what have you) (theres no cute or hot way to say that im sorry i tried lol) mike is on top. richie fingers himself open, then guides mikes fingers into him, and mike gets the hang of that p quickly, his eyes wide in wonder and glued to where his fingers and richies hole come together. richie cannot believe how beautiful mike is and how lucky richie himself is. by this time i imagine they've said "i love you" already, so when mikes sinking into richie he's breathing hard and burying his face in richies neck and just moaning "i love you i love you i love you" while he fucks richie slow and deep, the sensation is so new and so intense for him

and then after getting used to that, a week or two later richie is finally fingering mike open, so carefully and intentionally, taking such good care of him. and mike makes the prettiest faces when richie first sinks into him. and its new, there's a stretch, but it doesn't hurt. in fact, it feels fucking amazing, and thats how mike learns that hes a switch but its like 80/20 in favor of bottoming, its like hes discovered a new level of consciousness or enlightenment lmao and thats just missionary, richie pressing sweet kisses all over mikes face, telling him how beautiful and amazing he is, how good he feels

once they start getting more hot and heavy with it mike is ready to ask richie to fuck him from behind. and mike was a whimperer before, letting out these pretty little moans that richie fucking drank in. but as soon as mikes on all fours and richies fucking into him mike is fucking screaming, like he never understood how people could scream during sex until that moment. in this position richie gets so fucking deep, its insdescribable, and mike is speechless pretty much off the bat, just screaming yesyesyesfuckmefuckmefuckme when he can manage to say actual words. and it catches richie off guard but fuck is it hot to know that mike is literally screaming for his cock, not even caring that other students on that floor can definitely hear it, like could not possibly miss it, and mikes just way too blissed out and fucked out to care bc wow it feels so good its like a whole new thing. mike even bites the pillow the second time they do it, but hes still super loud even then. but the image of mike face down ass up is possibly one of the hottest things richie has ever seen in his life, and he’s absolutely covering mike in kisses once they both come down

wow they're in love i adore them sm!!

so yeah im v on board w this idea lol v sweet, v hot, thank you sm for sending me this!!

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

[authorofdanger]

Nightmares

Summary: What was life like for Y/N before Stray Kids?

Genre: Angst

WARNING!!! IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO ABUSE OR ANY FORM OF IT PLEASE DONT READ THIS!!!

"Get back here you fucking rat," my owner screamed while chasing me through out the house. I ran as fast as I could out into the back yard with his bat in hand. The twigs and broken glass pierced into my feet as I went deeper and deeper into the trees behind my home and in the distance I could hear the hounds howling and multiple footsteps catching up to me.

This was all because I wouldn't let him punish the other ten year old bunny hybrid for something she didnt even do. In a drunken rage my owner came at her with the wooden bat which could easily have killed her so I fought hard and retrieved the weapon, determined to find a way of disposing it. I knew once I get captured I would get the life beaten out of me, figuratively if not literally, but it is always worth it if it means the other prey hybrids are okay.

Getting trapped between the house and the fast paced stream ahead of me I decided to toss the bat into the raging waters and dart upstream. "I see her! Why isnt anybody using the shock button!" I could hear ringing in my ears and a sharp pain shoot from my neck and wrists which sent me to the ground in a heartbeat with a shrill scream. I couldnt even feel the pair of arms that hoisted me up and dragged me back towards the hell house where I would receive possibly another set of broken bones and other various punishments.

"Y/N? Y/N hey its okay," a soft voice hushed as I shot up from the couch and onto the floor to cower myself into a corner. I clasped my arms over my head and gasped out apologies to avoid another beating I was sure to receive. That's when I felt the soft pets on my ears and scalp before removing my shaking arms. A hand found it's way under my chin and guided my gaze into the familiar loving brown eyes of Jisung. I could see the worry and panic in his face and I couldnt slow my jagged breathing.

"Changbin go call-" "No," I cried. Only then did I notice how raw my voice was and how weak I sounded. How long have I been screaming? I scanned both Changbin and Jisung's concerned faces before I completely broke down in front of them. I was then pulled into the strong set of arms and gently lifted back onto the couch. I hate feeling so small and so weak when all my life I had to be strong, if I wanted to live I wasn't allowed to shed a single tear. "Baby what happened? What was the dream about," Changbin sighed while gently stroking my back while Jisung positioned me to sit in his lap facing him. I buried my nose into the crook of his neck and shook my head.

Chan and Felix are the only two who know about my past since we didnt think the others could handle the graphic details. All they know is I was abused and Chan's family rescued me from the shelter I was sent to. I was meant to be Chan's support hybrid for his debut and I do a good job if you asked either one of us but when I finally described what exactly happened to me to the Aussie line that's when they became my support too.

"We cant help you unless we know what's going on. You've been having nightmares like this for the past two weeks again. You havent had this problem in months," Jisung began with the sweetest tone he could muster behind his growing nerves. "Please let us help you." I wiped my eyes and thought for a moment at all the times I have woken up all three rappers from my reoccurring nightmares, two of them watching in worry as only one found the way to calm me down. I nodded my head and guided one of Changbin's hands to the base of my left ear as I took in a shallow breath.

"Its about my last home," I whimpered, "I keep dreaming of all the things he did to all of us. The way he would beat us nearly if not to death. The way he treated us. It still haunts me and it doesnt help that its January." "What's wrong with January," Changbin asked. "My sister's birth month. The same month he forced me to watch him kill her. All because I took away his beating bat."

They looked at me in horror as they slowly began to piece together parts of my history. I glanced down at the scars on my stomach from when on that same night he forced her to shred the soft skin before her demise. I was put in physical and mental torture that night. "Its okay bunny girl. He's gone for good now," Changbin comforted behind a few stray tears. Jisung was close to breaking too with the looks of it but he was trying so hard to stay strong for me in this moment. "Can you tell us what happened to you?"

"My owner owned a breeding ring that my sister and I were born into. The both of us were deemed infertile so he just simply decided to use us as servants around his home. He was a constant drunk and found any reason to beat me and the other hybrids around the home. He killed alot of us over the years from the mix of physically beating us to death, starving us, and depriving us of water if we weren't deemed good enough. I was the oldest of the group when the cops arrived but I also had the worst physical damage. I was the one to take the blame for many mistakes and did everything I could to protect my family. I got no more than three hours of sleep most nights as to make sure everyone survived another night. When the cops came they found me in a tiny dog cage with my stomach mutilated, starving, and barely breathing. I stayed in the shelter in Sydney for almost a year before Chan's family found me. Chan was the first person I allowed to touch my ears and I for some unknown reason trusted him enough to fall asleep on him during adoption day."

I took in one more deep breath before looking Jisung in his eyes and whimpered "if Chan wouldn't have gotten me I was going to be put down because I was deemed aggressive. He saved my life, a life I didnt even know I still wanted." That's when he broke. He hid his face into my chest and shook wildly from a mix of sadness and pure anger.

"You know we would never hurt you. We love you and you do so much for us and I cant imagine how anyone could do that to you," Changbin said while holding his tears back. "I love you guys too. But please if any of the others ask about this dont say anything. I want to tell each of you on my own time."

"I promise. I promise I wont tell, I promise I wont hurt you, and I damn promise nobody will hurt you like that ever again," Changbin assured. "And I promise I will never let you go. I want to hold and protect you forever. We wont let you go."

And they never did.

[strongsassysexysloane]

You and Me - Cont. Higher than Heaven

So there were a few ideas of where I wanted this to go when I started and this was a particular story I had in mind. And of course it went in a direction I didn’t see coming... enjoy

. . . 

It was a Monday, like any other, you wake, a smile crosses your face with the memories from the night before flashing back through your mind. You reach over to where Jack is meant to be, where she's been for the past several months but the bed is cold.

You immediately sit up and search the room for any sign of her but there's nothing. You check the clock and its just before you both normally wake up to go to work. Before panic starts to set in you look at your phone. You breathe a little lighter seeing a text from Jack.

'Sorry, couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake you. Gone to work early. Love you.'

You smile but are still concerned, the lack of Jack in that text is alarming, she usually throws in a sass remark or sweet comment but its straight to the point.

'G'morning, next time please wake me up, hon. Love you, see you soon.' You hit send and get up and ready for the day. The thoughts of why Jack couldn't sleep hovers in your mind but you push them aside until you get to work.

You knock on Jack's door but theres no answer. It's unlocked so you open it but the lights are off and she's not there. You decide to call her but her phones off and now the panic really sets in.

"Anyone see Jack this morning?" You ask trying to hide the panic in your voice but Ellie and Nick shake their heads as you enter the bull pen.

"Think I saw her when I arrived around 0700... why?" McGee looks up from his computer.

"She's not in her office and she left before I woke this morning." You sit down at your desk and run your hand through your hair.

"Dead Navy Officer. Grab your gear." Gibbs rushes in with a cup of coffee.

"Gibbs you seen Jack today?" Usually you wouldn't ask but you're too worried to care what Gibbs thinks.

"McGee go ahead, I'll meet you guys there." Ellie, Nick and McGee give you both curious looks before disappearing down to the garage.

"What is it?" Now you're really concerned. What havent they told you?

"You don't know what date it is?" You look at Gibbs confused and then down at your watch. Something about the date is familiar but you cant quite figure it out, too many thoughts, you can't think straight.

"What Gibbs?" Impatient to figure it out.

"She's at Arlington. Its the anniversary." That's all he needed to say. You go stone cold. Should you go and try and find her? She didn't tell you, she seemed fine last night but clearly things caught up when you both came to bed. "Go Y/n. We got the crime scene." Gibbs leaves you there.

It doesn't take you long to get to the cemetery. You pull up and stay in the car for a bit, you can see Jack's mini a few parks down but still hesitate if you should join her. She might want to be left alone. After all she didn't say anything but then again she never asks for help.

You hop out of the car and start to walk down the aisles, you see Jack sitting down in front of the stones and pause a few metres away.

"You can come closer." She says, her voice cracks and you can tell she's been crying for a while.

You move and sit beside her but stay silent. Mostly because you're unsure of what to do or say. She doesnt talk much about her team or of what happened. She had told you once long before you go together and then a few stories from the happier times when you were together.

You see her shaking and can't help it anymore, you pull her into your embrace, wrapping your arms around her and she cries into your shoulder. "I got you." You place a kiss to the side of her head. "I'm here for whatever you need."

You stay like that for a while. Content to just hold her and let her cry. She starts to calm down and takes a deep shaky breath. "They'd like you, you know."

That shocks you and you hold her tighter.

"I came here not long after we got together and told them about you. I know they'd like you."

"Well you do have a great judge of character." She pulls away slightly but only to place a gently kiss to your cheek.

"Thank you for coming to find me." She rests her head on your shoulder.

"Always but next time please dont make me ask Gibbs. I know this is a difficult day for you but I'm here for you through everything. From your snoring to your heart break." You get a slight jab in the gut for that but you feel her laugh against you.

"I don't snore." She protests.

"Guys, does she snore?" You look at each of the tombstones and a sad smile graces your lips. "I thought so."

Jack lifts her head and you see her, her flushed cheeks stained with tears, her red eyes and make up smudged. You reach up and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you."

"I love you too, Jack." She kisses your lips, its soft and too quick. "What do you want to do? Have you had breakfast?" You already know the answer.

Jack shakes her head and starts to get up. You jump up and grab her hand steadying her as she stands. She intertwines your fingers and gives you a sad but comforting smile. "I could go a diner breakfast." You smile and let Jack lead the way.

You quickly turn back and look at her fallen comrades. "I'll take good care of her, she's safe with me." You whisper but when you turn back around you see tears falling from Jacks eyes and you know shes heard you but says nothing.

You refuse to let her drive and promise to pick up her car later. You go to the diner and have breakfast, making sure she eats it all and getting chastised for treating her like a child but you shrug it off.

"The last thing I want is to see hangry Jack before 11am."

You sit in comfortable silence knowing if Jack wanted to talk about it she would and you'd rather not push it.

"So will you let me go pick up my car and then we can get back to work?"

"You want to go to work today? I'm sure Leon wouldn't mind if you took the day off.." You suggest, knowing she knows it but still putting it out there. Hell you'd take the day off is she needed it. Gibbs clearly didn't mind.

"No, I need to work. If it gets too much I'll let you know and I'll go home." She squeezes your hand as reassurance and you leave the diner.

By the time you're both back at the office the team is back. Jack gives you a kiss with a promise to text if she needs anything and you jump into work. No one dares ask what happened and you carry on with your day.

'Think I'm done for the day. Don't worry if you can't come home yet. I'll get some washing and cleaning done and message me when you're coming home and I'll have dinner ready.' You smile down at the text. She passes you with a wink before you can reply.

'I'll pick up dinner on the way home. Enjoy your afternoon and we can snuggle the night away.' You hear her giggle from the elevator.

'Fine but it better be pasta and tiramisu.'

'Done. Love you, I'll be home soon.' You hit send and watch as she disappears behind the elevator doors.

You unfortunately don't get home before 1800. You send her an apology but the case got a lead. Jack sends you all the hearts when the Uber Eats arrives on the door step with her favourite pasta and the dessert she wished for. You smile.

"If you aren't going to concentrate on the case you might as well go home." Gibbs snaps and you look up at him from your desk. Any other day you would've shrunk under his comment but he knew what today was and you weren't having it.

"Sorry my partners - heartbreak is interrupting the case. I'll leave her by herself while we try and track down a killer who killed an Officer who was taking advantage of his crew and did his crew a favour by whacking him." You snap and Gibbs goes to say something but stops just glaring at you. You see the team watching in awe. You don't break his gaze.

"It's late. Go home, we'll pick up again in the morning." He grunts and you slam your keyboard shutting down your computer, grab your bag and shoot out of the office without looking back. You send Jack a quick text before hopping in the car to let her know you're on your way.

The drive home is quick, you're on autopilot and slam the front door shut once you reach your place.

"Fuck, babe. You alright?" Jack hops up from the couch.

"Sorry, Jack. How are you?" You walk over to her standing in the doorway from the entry to your living room.

"I'm alright, what's wrong?" She reaches up and cups your cheek and you smile into her touch, turning slightly to kiss her palm. Nothing's wrong now.

"Gibbs roused at me for texting you and I snapped. He sent us home after that, didn't look back to see if the others left though." You shrug and see the grin spread across Jack's face.

"You stood up to Gibbs because of me?" Of course that's what she took from that. Not the fact that you will probably be reprimanded into the next century for the snap at your boss but you'd do it again in a heartbeat to see her and that smile.

"Of course." You lean forward and kiss her. Its starts off slow but Jack soon takes over, controlling and demanding entrance with her tongue.

You pull back gasping for air. "Now I wish I stormed out hours ago." You both laugh and you follow her into the lounge room where she has your dinner waiting.

"Thank you so much for today, for coming to find me, for holding me and for ordering me dinner when you were working." She drops a kiss to your cheek as you finish up your pasta.

"Always baby. I'd love to hear stories about them but I understand if you don't want to talk about it right now." You place your hand on top of hers which is resting on the couch in between you.

"Maybe soon, right now I want to share this tiramisu with you." You raise an eyebrow surprised she hasn't devoured it yet. "I have some self control." You chuckle as she scoops up a piece of tiramisu and raises it to your lips. You moan at the delicious taste and notice the fire in her eyes and quickly realise why she has so much self control.

"You keep looking at me like that and we'll finish this in our bed."

She hums while slowly swallowing a mouthful of dessert. She places another spoonful of tiramisu in her mouth but you dont let her finish it, kissing her, she places the plate on the coffee table and you push her back into the couch.

She moans under your mouth, you groan at the taste of Jack and your favourite dessert. You explore her body, making sure no spot of her is left un touched and she screams your name. You watch as she comes down from her high and you reach over to continue the dessert. She kisses you and groans.

"I didn't know Tiramisu could taste any better." She moans with the taste of her and tiramisu on your lips.

"Just imagine if it was me-" Youre cut off by her attack of her lips on yours.

"I'll come all over again if you finish that thought." You smirk and scoop up another piece of tiramisu, giving it to her. "For someone who doesn't share food, you sure do share a lot with me."

"And don't you forget it." She laughs and everything from the past 18 hours is eased away with that sound. She is happy and that's all that matters.

It isn't long before the dessert is all gone and Jack now has her mouth set on you. You try your best to argue that tonight is all about her.

"I know and this is what I want.." She says kissing her way down your stomach.

You groan as your eyes lock and she moves to crouch between your legs, you tear your eyes away because looking at her only makes everything come so much faster. You press your head back into the corner of the couch and scream as she does devilish things to you and makes you float higher than the heavens.

. . . 

Apologies if I got any technical stuff wrong.. Clearly I like Tiramisu but feel free to imagine whatever dessert you like. 

[houseki-no-suffering]

Some additional thoughts on ch 81

i know ive already written a few analysis about this last chapter but there are a few things that id still like to mention, starting with the artbook because this

this is a free ticket to uncanny valley. chibi gems? a smiling cinnabar? a happy yellow diamond? genki phos laughing like a happy child, surrounded by the love of their people, flowers, rainbows, stars and frilly things? 

this is the creepiest thing ichikawa has pulled out of her pencil since the cairnmea wedding night. ill be having nightmares about this for months.

but yeah back to the actual chapter

“How long as that been there?” 

Yeah. that’s a legitimate question. more so when you think that goshe hasnt been around the other gems much (they say so themselves when they say they havent touched a gem in a long time, which im also very curious about cause thats a pretty specific thing to say), so they have been with the lunarians. 

why havent they noticed this building for 220 years then? has aechmea been keeping padparadscha away from the gems on purpose?

this reminds me of how padpa’s fingers break when they pull out one of their replacements. 

gems of the same kind shouldnt break when touching, so why did padpa’s finger shatter when they touched a piece of themselves? it could be a symptom of a general weakness due to shinsha’s mercury, the same weakness that makes it so padpa cant stand up on their own or it could also mean that the synthetic gem used to repair padpa has some downsides to it

now to phos. 

it pains me to no end to see phos reduced in this state. a literal monster, barely human-shaped just when we know they have become human. which is too ironic not to be on purpose. during this chapter phos reminds me almost of a scared animal or an infant (which would make sense if theyre indeed being reborn as a human, even on a simply metaphorical level)

like a spider or an insect, a wounded animal, phos just runs away, crawling toward the cave. they dont speak, they dont even shout. they barely look themselves anymore.

Naked, running away without uttering a single word, it looks like they lost the ability to think and feel complex emotions, like they have reversed to some primordial state of the self and of the mind. will acquiring the seventh treasure mean that phos has to re-learn to do a lot of things? are they literally being reborn? 

also, during this chase they lose so many pieces of themselves. half their head is gone, the agathe legs are gone almost completely, a huge part of their metal is scattered around the school and the island and so a huge number of phosphophyllite fragments. it makes me wonder if phos’ silence during this chapter and the way they run away without thinking is connected to reaching a point of non return in their journey.

we know that the more pieces of themselves they lose, the less similar to genki phos they’ll be. they are losing so much of that precious phosphophyllite that makes up less than 40% of their present body, and yet their torso, the only part of phos that is still the original phos, is the most intact.

yet phos is still conscious enough, ‘phosphophyllite’ enough to recognize the cave and reach out to their old notebook. 

i dont know what phos wanted to find in it, why they tried to pick it up. maybe they only hold a faint memory of what happened more than 322 years ago, maybe they forgot about cinnabar and their promise, and yet they look sincerely sad when the notebook breaks.

the notebook and the cave are symbols of phos’ promise and the fact that cinnabar is there no more and left the notebook behind are symbols of cinnabar moving on from phos’ words and finding purpose on their own. 

i think it’s very significant that, even if it was cinnabar who left the notebook behind, it is phos who breaks it, just like they broke cinnabar’s trust.

finally id like to point out that rutile runs toward padparadscha to catch the piece of synthetic gem. they dont refuse the ‘gift’, they dont act hostile.

padpa is doing for them what rutile tried to do themselves in chap 70, when they tried to carve out padpa’s synthetic replacements. rutile is just speechless, shocked. they run towards padpa, they catch the piece and then they sink to the ground, overwhelmed by emotions. 

just like padparadscha doesnt hate rutile, rutile doesnt hate padparadscha. their obsession with padpa wasnt intentional and they still care a great deal about their former partner.

this last panel looks like the final stage of a battle, the end of a war and possibly of rutile and padpa’s arcs. padpa’s body is lying on the ground like a dead knight and rutile is crouched near them, hugging a piece of padpda to the chest, silent, defeated by emotions.

[heartsoftruth]

I don't want to be insensitive because my country is doing very bad with corona right now too but are people in the Netherlands surprised that they have a bad like this? I have dutch friends and I saw them on instagram going to night clubs, not wearing masks, eating out with people without protection (other than sanitizer).Do you think that your government should have taken measures before? I was always curious why they acted basically oblivius to everything seeing how other countries were

Oh no! Don’t hesitate to ask me anything! I can understand Europe (or the rest of the world?) is watching our numbers and go: ?????

I think our government did good during the first wave. We never had a lockdown like a lot of the other European countries had. We had something our Prime Minister called an ‘Intellegent lockdown’. So all shops/restaurants/bars etc were closed and public transport was for those that had vital jobs (hospital/bus driver the stuff that was still going). We were allowed to walk (in our own town) do groceries etc. And the numbers (just like the rest of europe) went down. Our ICU patients went down. So the measurements were less strict after a period of time. So during the summer everything was open again (expect theatre and stadium they had stricter measurements like the rest of Europe as well). My job stopped and I sat home for a month and a half like a lot of Dutch people/people around the world.

But with the winter coming slowly our number went up and up. The on September 18 our prime minister came with new measurements in 6 big cities that had a lot of cases per day. Then 10 days (sep 28) later (with 3k cases per day now) they announced national measurements, but bars and cafes could still stay open until 22.00 then. For big cities (like amsterdam, the hague etc) was the advise to wear mouth mask inside shops. ‘it isn’t mandatory, but shops can decline you from entering if they want too’... 

Then on October 13 Rutte announced way stricter measurements; also calling it a partial lockdown. But by then the numbers were around 7300 A DAY!!! So Rutte closed the restaurants, bars, no more football fans, theatre, museums open etc. By then it was still advised to wear a mouth mask in public places. Rutte did announce he is busy with changing the law, because that’s why it isn’t mandatory for now in Holland. Because they have to change the law to do that. 

Okkkkkkk. So now that you have a quick summary of what happened: lets answer your question (if you havent fallen asleep already HAHAH). i’m always way too long with questions like this I’m sorry haha. 

I do think we did good during the first wave, but the second wave we were way too loose with the measurements. Also the measurements on Sep 28 with cafes and restaurants staying open until 22 hour was a bad one. I think what they did on Oct 13 should have been announced then (sep 28). 

And I hope what I said above also helped in answering your questions about mouth masks. It hasnt been mandatory here ever. When Corona virus began the government questioned the safety of it since people don’t know how to use it (touch their mask and then face etc), but now they want to make it mandatory here as well. So in Germany and countries surrounding us it was mandatory for a long time; while here we walked in shops/restaurants etc without one. Only on public transport it was mandatory. 

Now after the pressconference of Sep 28 (and even more Oct 13) you see people wear it a lot more in the supermarket and in shops etc. Shops have labels out front that say: ‘Mask mandatory’. But realize that has been happening for only less than a month. So that’s why you saw everyone on Insta without one. I also wasn’t wearing one in restaurants because it wasn’t necassary/a rule. Now when I go to the supermarket etc I wear one. 

That’s also one thing I think they did wrong. Like also because research didn’t prove the use of mask (they said in March) blabla. It wasn’t mandatory the first time and now the make a U-turn and want to do that. So I can understand for people that’s confusing. Also fueling the group that doensn’t believe in Corona or thinks it’s all the fault of the government etc. While my opinion about it is: if the Germans do it (and they’ve done very well in both waves so far) FOLLOW THEM FFS!!! One research says this and the other that, but if a lot of countries make it mandatory why not be save instead of gamble and say nope only on public transport because you can’t keep the social distance in there...  

Besides that I also think the Dutch have a problem with authority. Some countries listen very good to what the government say and here we clearly don’t. Even now it’s still busy on the street. I got a photo today from a big city (where a friend lives) and it’s busy AFFFFFF. People will only take it serious when the ICU is full again or idunno what it takes for them to take it serious again. I feel like with our numbers and if they don’t change in 5 days we will have a REAL lockdown for the first time... 

I CAN understand however for the government (all of them actually) these are tough decisions... Because you know with closing so many shops again  many also won’t survive this second wave... The financial hits people are getting because of this are also insane... So sad also for people that they have to go through that....