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dr-spectre · 9 days ago

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Splatoon & Me.

A discussion about my personal history with Splatoon.

So... 10 years huh? We did it, 10 whole years of this franchise being a thing. I honestly can't believe it's been this long since it began, i was in primary school when i first laid my eyes on Splatoon and now I'M A GOD DAMN ADULT! That's.... really scary to think about...

Basically, in this blog post I'm going to be talking about where i was during each Splatoon game and it's respective dlcs, this won't be a retrospective review sort of thing where i review each game, but rather I'm just gonna ramble about each game and dlc and just... talk. It is sort of a retrospective but it's more of a personal one.

I highly encourage you guys to chat and just ramble away about your relationship with the franchise.

So, without further ado, let's talk about where it all began...

Splatoon 1.

So, to give some context, i did not own a Wii U during it's run, i only got one in 2025. However, around 2014 to 2015 is when i first started actually following Nintendo news, i was around 10 years old and i had an iPad where i got to see news and updates on different Nintendo things.

I still remember my initial reaction to Splatoon somewhat, even after all of these years, i remember seeing the orange ink and the squid swimming around and my brain immediately went "OH IS THIS SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE 2?!?!?!" And then... She popped out of the ink. And it showed the gameplay and i was very, perplexed yet, curious... I saw some of the E3 footage of people trying out the game and it intrigued me so much. The bright colours, the character designs, it was something i wanted to get my hands on, yet i didn't have a Wii U and i didn't want to explain what a Wii U was to my parents. We already had a Wii so... yeahhh it would have been a mess you know? (Wii 2 was right there Nintendo...)

I looked at Splatoon from the outside, seeing all the content, seeing the idols. I didn't think much of Callie and Marie at first but... Well... In years time that would change, dramatically... I saw all of the ancient memes and people talking about white ink and i barely knew what that even meant at the time. Back then we just barely talked about sex ed so white ink was a weird thing to me LMAO!

I remember watching Etika talk about the game and the apparent rumour that Nintendo invited Playboy bunny girls to play the game early as a promotion, i swear to god that was a thing but i barely remember it. I remember seeing all the creepy shit within the story mode, the friggen screams and odd sounds in the boss rooms.

I talked about Splatoon with my friends at primary school, discussing how it would feel like, what weapons we wanna try out... Man... They were simple times. Snack time and lunch time were just friends and i discussing on a table what we thought about recent gaming stuff.

But now, i have a Wii U and it's basically my Splatoon 1 machine. Sure, i played some Bayonetta 1 and 2, some Wii games, but my Wii U is my Splatoon 1 machine, and let me tell you, Splatoon 1.... It's.... It's PEAK!!!!!

THE STAGE DESIGN? THE BEST OF THE BEST! It feels like you're going around a playground, so many paths, so much verticality, so many little details and things to see. it's really really dense and i love it. I love the way the weapons look in Splatoon 1, they are so cartoony and colourful and... yummy looking? That's the best way i can describe them. Callie and Marie greet you when you boot up the game so it's automatically the best Splatoon game by default /j

The hero mode? Octo Valley? It's really fun and cute. Seeing where the series began is very neat. It's just a simple tutorial with some interesting ideas and bosses. It's actually good and tells it's simple story in the most Nintendo way possible, unlike a certain canyon of the octopus variety....

DJ Octavio is really funny and his boss fight in Splatoon 1 is my favourite boss fight in the entire series. The music across the board be banging, Octo Valley is really cool and a good single player experience. It knows what it tries to be, it has a simple story that's neat, it's just nice, nothing crazy but it's just nice.

Splatoon 1 still holds up in my eyes, if you have a Wii U and you somehow don't have Splatoon 1 then what the fuck are you doing!!! IT'S LIKE 10 BUCKS ON EBAY! YOU CAN PLAY THE GAME ONLINE WITH PRETENDO! GO DO IT!!! IT'S MORE ACTIVE THAN SPLATOON 2! GO! IT'S REALLY FUN!

"B-but i don't wanna mod my console!" YOU'LL BE FINE!!! IT'S OKAY! TRUST ME YOU'LL BE OKAY! Go play Splatoon 1, you'll have a really good time!

Speaking of having a good time... NOT! It's time to talk about... IT. You know the game... The game i give a lot of shit, for legit and... well.. petty reasons but, if we are gonna talk about Splatoon and celebrate it's 10th anniversary, we have to talk about-

Splatoon 2.

Oh Splatoon 2... i have... mixed feelings about you. What you gave me was access to a series i would fall in love with, you gave me these amazing memories and make me look back on a time where i can look fondly on. but you also gave me pain... anger... stress.... sadness... you gave me these sharp stinging pains in my chest when i saw... her. What you did to... her. Cause me genuine chest pains and it would get so bad that i couldn't do things i wanted to, you ruined a holiday break for me because my brain became obsessed with... her. The echoed singing ringing in my head, the stinging, i couldn't handle it, i couldn't even look at... her. Anymore, without getting the stinging and tingles in my chest. I couldn't stop thinking about those awful events that your story mode told me happened, the fucking vile events that are so engrained within the community that it has taken years to get out, yet it's still there... It won't go away... The god damn pain was so strong and i couldn't figure out why it was even happening in the first place. Why, why... her. Why did i feel so strongly about this character that everyone treats poorly? Why...

Your story mode, I will NEVER forgive, I can't do it, i can't sit beside and listen to the loudest voices say things i so strongly disagree with, i can't watch lore videos anymore, i cant....

But i can't hate you anymore man, i just don't have the energy within me to continue to bash you down and treat you poorly. I wanna love, not destroy. So i will, for a brief moment in time, say wonderful things about you.

I remember before i got this game, i got the Nintendo Switch 4 days prior on Christmas, i got the console, Super Mario Odyssey, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and... Sonic Forces... Hey i didn't pick the game okay? I wanted Sonic Mania but my dad and i had no idea it was a digital only title.

But even after all that, my dad gave me a question, one simple question. "What would you like for your birthday?"

I only had two choices in my mind, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, or Splatoon 2.

I chose, Splatoon 2, i badly wanted to play Splatoon since it came out and when i finally had that damn case in my hands... Oh i fell in love. It felt like fate... The game so smooth, it was so fast, so fun, it was a shooter the likes of which I've never played before, i loved the way the game looked, the way it felt, the Inklings, just, oh my god it was like everything clicked in my brain. The music, the visuals, it was so gooodddddd.

Splatoon 2 as a multiplayer game is really really good, not AS good as Splatoon 1 but its very close. The stage design is fantastic and continues off of what Splatoon 1 did, the new weapons like the dualies are so bloody good and the weapon is now my main weapon that i use along with the roller. The music in stages is fantastic too, the visuals for a Switch 1 launch title is really really GOOD! I can give the game it's praises because it does have some really great shit in it. It's not all bad.

And how can we forget, Salmon Run, oh my god i LOVEEEE Salmon Run. One of the best things Splatoon ever introduced and it got it's start in Splatoon 2. I love the salmonids, i love some of the maps and i still miss Ruins of Ark Polaris, one of the most interesting stages that has been designed in the series.

And you know what? The story mode has some cool shit, I love the vibe of Octo Canyon and the background music. I love all the decorations Callie put up. Tidal Rush is a banger and anyone who disagrees I'll just look at you funny.

I played the story mode on an airplane ride and then finished off the final area in my hotel. It was a really cool experience... for a time.... I enjoyed it. At the time i didn't make much of Callie and the shades. I just thought they were direct mind control glasses or some shit. Man.... funny how things change...

And speaking of Callie, this is when uh... the Idol obsession began... this is when the seed was first planted.... I want y'all to remember, I was 13 to 14 when Splatoon 2 was a thing... What do you think happened when i saw a bunch of cute girls WHEN I WAS A TEEN BOY!?!? YEAH! YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT! I wasn't as obsessed with them as i am currently, but i was interested by them, i liked seeing them. Marina captured my heart and definitely uh... influenced me on the type of women that i like... I'm not gonna elaborate on that point...

I so badly wanted the Pearl and Marina amiibo back then but i couldn't get the courage to ask my parents to buy it or ask any EB Games employees if they had stock left.

And this leads me to another thing that i wanna talk about Splatoon 2, this is when i started interacting with other fans online, some of the interactions were fine, but most... i regret... I made a lot of mistakes, did a lot of cringey shit, when i think back to those times, there are little diamonds in the rough but it was mainly a lot of bad shit and i did things i just hate thinking about. I remember being in some call on the bloody NINTENDO SWITCH APP and there was this girl who pretended to be Callie and she would speak in this high pitched voice, and we did uh, roleplaying, i barely remember much but i would rather not talk about it and the other things my brain barely remembers.

I was a teenager, i did stupid teenager things, I'm a better person because I'm not a dumb stupid fucking moron teen anymore and i never wanna think about the shit i did and saw during my teen years.

I think because of that, my thoughts on the game have soured because of the stuff i did as a teenager. Although i can't remember it well, i still remember myself being very cringey.

I don't hate this game, in fact it does a lot of things better than Splatoon 3. But i hate how this game gets praised just to shit on Splatoon 3 because people have rose tinted glasses and forgotten how bad this game can truly be at points. The non story parts of this game are fairly solid, i can admit to that and i wanna celebrate those parts.

Splatoon 2 i fucking LOVE you and HATEEEEE you!!

Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion.

I mean, what is there to talk about that hasn't been talked about already? It's Octo Expansion, the widely beloved single player mode, the number 1 thing Splatoon 2 has over the other two games, the single player mode that everyone has come to agreement is the best in the series, and you know what? I agree too! Shocker i know!

Octo Expansion is fantastic, the atmosphere is brilliant, the ost is probably my favourite in the series, Agent 8 is a cut above the other protagonists because of the memcakes and how much mystery surrounds them. The chat logs which gave Off the Hook so much development it's insane, the difficulty, the final boss, oh my god i LOVE this campaign!

I think the main reason on why this mode is celebrated so much is because it appeals to Splatoon fans the most. It's challenging and doesn't hold back. You WILL die a lot in your first playthrough. But it's not unfair, most of the time, it is challenging but fair... MOST of it.

Like genuinely i will never, EVER forget my first experience playing through the finale of Octo Expansion, the twist of Tartar trying to blend you up and Agent 3 coming in with the SPLATOON 1 MUSIC! THE METAL GEAR SOLID LIKE STEALTH SECTION! NASTY MAJASTY! SHARK BYTES AND USING THE INK JET?!? OH MY GODDDD! It's so fun and hype.

Sanitized Agent 3? The only mind control plot in a piece of Splatoon media that i ACTUALLY LIKE and don't find it incredibly disgusting, vile, stupid, poorly written or wasted potential. The fucked up remix of Splattack, seeing your Splatoon 1 character FIGHT YOU? The first time in the series where the games celebrate the past and try to remix it in a unique spin is so fucking cool.

And... Fly Octo Fly... brother. Oh my god. I listened to that song over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AGAIN! It is probably the best final boss song within the entire series and i don't think I'll never get tired of it.

Octo Expansion is a god damn treasure, it is a miracle that it came out as well as it did. Sure, it is short and it does suck that the really cool development for Off the Hook is pretty much skippable, but i don't care. Octo Expansion is like the dessert that saves a mid meal you just ate. And speaking of saving the best things for last...

Splatoon 2: Final Fest.

I wanna say my final words about Splatoon 2 and briefly talk about the Final Fest because i did play it when it was happening.

I remember the build up to this last Splatfest being really intense considering how the previous final Splatfest influenced things and it brought up a lot of interesting debates within the community. Is a world of chaos truly better than a world of order? A world of order would keep everyone safe, but it would be very strict. A world of chaos would allow anyone to do whatever they want, but it would also have a lot of violence and no rules to govern what is right and wrong.

However... What really influenced me to pick the team that i ended up picking was down to a YouTuber's words about the matter.

"Its kill or BE killed, the strong survive!" And who said that? Well... It was Etika. I fucking loved that man's content, so one of his last streams stating that he was on Team Chaos and his tragic passing made the choice obvious. I still miss that man today, it feels like there is this hole that he left and i don't think it will ever be filled ever.

I joined Team Chaos and i fought HARD to make sure Chaos would win. And seeing MC. Princess Diaries and fucking PEARL COMING IN TO USE HER PRINCESS CANON!! OH MY GOD THAT WAS HYPE AS FUCK!!!!

Ultimately, after all the battling and war... Chaos won, and the dialogue that Pearl and Marina said to each other was just... Oh my god it was so fucking CUTEEEE!!! It was a great end to a game that allowed me to join the fandom.

Although Splatoon 2 gives me a lot of... anger, there's still a lot that i love and cherish about it. Everything to do with Off the Hook, Octo Expansion, the stages, the new weapons, oh my god this game did a lot of good things, and i would rather remember Splatoon 2 that way, over the feelings of distain and pure rage i have over the writing that hero mode provided.

Splatoon 3.

I mean, i don't have to say much about Splatoon 3, i made a whole ass blog post about it in the past just before the Grand Fest happened, but i wanna still wanna talk about it.

Splatoon 3 is my favorite game out of the trilogy and I'm gonna defend it no matter what. It feels like Splatoon at it's most polished gameplay wise, it feels somehow smoother and faster, the new movement options while at first being nothing too crazy, actually transform how you move around the stages and are a MASSIVE game changer. You cannot go back to older Splatoon games after experiencing Squid Roll, it's just so hard.

The new weapons like the Splatana, S-Blast, Stringer, Douser Dualies, etc, are really unique and introduce interesting ways and playstyles. I love the god damn Decavitator dude. What an incredible weapon with a funny concept and brutal name.

Salmon Run gets some massive improvements and it's so so so FUN! I love the King Salmonids so god damn much dude holy hell. And once we got to fight ALL THREE OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME!?!? PEAK! PEAK PEAK PEAK!!!

I remember when i got this game at launch, i had to go get a haircut after school finished for the day and let me tell you, it was fucking unbearable, i knew that my copy of Splatoon 3 was waiting for me at home yet i could not play it. I think the funniest part of that day was explaining to my dad what the fuck a Splatoon is, he never really gave it much thought when he got me Splatoon 2 so he must have forgotten what it was and my brother and i just stared at each other when he asked "what's Splatoon?"

But let me tell you... when i got home... Holy mother of god i grinded out ROTM like no tomorrow dude. I had so much fun and i was completely hooked. Sure i got spoiled that Deep Cut were gonna be boss fights and Mr. Grizz was the true antagonist thanks to leaks running rampant before the game came out, but it was still so cool, plus i was sharing my thoughts with my friends on discord and we were all freaking out and shit.

I really adore The Crater and how it fools you into thinking it's gonna be yet another standard hero mode, but then it drops the back to back surprise of DJ Octavio being the first boss fight and then being dragged into Alterna. You can criticize ROTM for any reason you want, but you can't deny, that intro is fucking awesome and a great way to subvert expectations.

And Alterna as a whole has this really cool vibe and aesthetic to it. The snowy, abandoned yet clean areas and the stages themselves invoke this weird sensation in my brain. The stages reach this... nostalgic part of my brain, it's so odd yet i love it. I don't really like the stage design itself because it feels like Octo Expansion diet lite edition with barely any of the difficulty or replay value of Octo Expansion, aside from some levels.

The boss fights are pretty neat and yes, the Big Man fight is awesome and a cool reference to Super Mario Sunshine, yes i did soyjack at it, we all did, moving onnnnn!!

The finale of Splatoon 3 ROTM is truly special, although i think Octo Expansion is better, ROTM still slaps so hard when it comes to an epic finale. Calamari Inkantation 3mix is a banger, your little buddy that's been helping you throughout the entire campaign becomes a FUCKING KAIJU TO BEAT UP A GIANT BEAR THAT WANTS TO COMMITT MASS GENOCIDE AND TURN EVERYONE INTO FURRIES!!! DJ Octavio redeeming himself and you having to pilot his mech when in the previous games you were fighting against it. It feels like everything has come full circle to give a satisfying finale to the Splatoon saga.

Splatoon 3 did a lot of things right, but it has some issues that i HOPE get addressed in the eventual Splatoon 4. Such as the catalogue system and how long it took to get updates and content additions, 3 months for patches is a death sentence for modern online games, that needs to change. The lack of third kits, the stage design being significantly more watered down compared to the previous games, despite there being new movement tools, the stages feel more restrictive which is such a massive shame.

Splatoon 3 is cool but it for sure suffers the issue of death by a thousand paper cuts, it has all these minor issues that some people can handle while some can't, and that's perfectly fine.

Splatoon 3: Side Order.

Side Order... my baby... Oh i love you, but i also think you could have done better. To me Side Order feels like vanilla ice cream, like sure, vanilla ice cream is good on it's own, but MANNNN i want MORE! There's so much shit to love, yet it still needed way more shit and an actual good post game to keep players interested.

This dlc felt like an experiment, to see how the gameplay of Splatoon can adapt to different game genres and go out of it's comfort zone. I really do hope it gets a proper sequel in terms of gameplay and they go even more in-depth. More enemies, more bosses, more variety within bosses, more missions, more post game content including story content, more variety in the environments, etc. etc.

Side Order nails it's OST and environments and it's the most experimental sounding thing within the series. These songs will make people scratch their heads and go "what the fuck am i listening to?" And i LOVE THAT! They could have done Octo Expansion again but they actually wanted to do something unique and I respect the devs for that.

I now wanna talk about my personal experience with this dlc.

I wanna tell you guys something, Side Order came out during the height of my Splatoon fixation, i monitored it's build up to release like a fucking hawk, i saw so many theories and people going crazy on what could happen. I remember when that poster came out and people were screaming that AGENT 4 WAS THERE! AND HOW IT MIRRORED CALLIE IN THE SPLATOON 2 HERO MODE POSTER! IT WAS SO HYPE!! I remember reacting to early impressions of Side Order and all of the people who talked about it kept mentioning that something happens within the tutorial and i was so insanely curious on what it was... And what they were hiding... Where was Marina? Why is Inkopolis Sqaure bleached? So many questions and i wanted to learn it all...

And bro... When it came out... I hooked up my Switch to the main TV in my house, i got READY! And even then, i wasn't ready dude. I fucking gasped, i screamed, i squealed, i was crying, i was going OFF DUDE! I was stimming like a mother fucker, i was losing my god damn mind every 10 minutes.

The build up to Marina Agitando was so intense for me, i knew what was going to happen when Marina's dialogue got cut off and it turned into something sinister... The flashes of the past were in my brain and i was saying "not again... NOT AGAIN!!!"

And once i got to the 10th floor... And i saw her... I gasped so fucking loud and i was in shock for like a solid minute, time froze in that minute, realizing "oh... oh they did it... they actually did it... they did it again..." Once i beat the boss and i got up to the title card i was literally screaming and freaking out on WHAT THE HELL I JUST WITNESSED!!!

Throughout the entire DLC i was just going insane, seeing the first dev diary literally made me ACTUALLY CRY!!!!!! Parallel Canon made me yell, like, i could go on but I'm just gonna talk about the final boss. The final boss of Side Order dude... I... I won't forgot the finale of Side Order, it was so, emotional for me, and i don't exactly know why. I think the remix of Ebb and Flow with elements from the live version, the focus on embracing the chaos of the present, it just... reached to a deep part of my soul. I was trying to sing along, i was swaying with the music, just, bawling my fucking eyes out.

And... the cherry on top... UNLOCKING INKOPOLIS SQUARE?!?! I FUCKING FELL TO THE FLOOR! MY HOME TOWN! MY TURF! IT CAME BACK!!!

Side Order is something special to me, it came out at the perfect time and it's a experience i will cherish until the end of time. But there is... one more thing that tops Side Order in my eyes... Something that really destroyed me in both good and bad ways.

The Grand Finale.

The Grand Fest... Man, just thinking back to it makes me feel teary eyed. Funny how my biggest worry was taking pictures of the Idols... I ended up taking at least over 2k photos if i wanna make a very rough estimate. Yeah... I uh... i went overboard but, i loved every second of it.

At first it was difficult to pick a team because i do love the Squid Sisters but, i didn't wanna think about my past, when i think about my past, it makes me feel sad, lost, depressed, knowing that those past locations, the people I've seen, the vibes, the feelings, the senses.... i would never get them back... Thinking about the future too just makes me feeling so scared and anxious. Am i gonna be forgotten about? Will i be in the same spot for the rest of my life? Will i find success? Will i get a partner? Will i die tomorrow? Will my family get killed? Ultimately, i realised that i felt my most happy when i was in the present, that is where i think we are truly the most happy. You ever think about a birthday from your childhood you went to? You remember how the most fun you had from that party was the part where you were hanging out with friends, laughing it up, playing games, whatever right? Being in the moment, the present. And you were at your most unhappiest when the party was wrapping up and you were reflecting on the past? Realising that those fun times are over now... Or maybe you were really worried about how the party was gonna be like? You were worried about the future.

Plus, Off the Hook mean a lot to me, i think they taught me a lot of things, they showed me what a happy relationship between two people could look like, they showed me that just because someone is so vastly different from you, it doesn't mean that they don't deserve love, they still do. I yearn for the kind of partnership Pearl and Marina have.... My choice was obvious in that moment and i went with Team Present.

The hub was truly special, it was so big and complex that it would literally tank the performance which is so funny. Seeing DJ Octavio with his boyfriend, right next to the Squid Sisters stand felt like my heart was healing, it felt, good, to see him like this. Seeing him so silly and ridiculous, how he always was before... Well... Splatoon 2.... Ugh...

The plushies, the jellyfish, the lights, the sounds, nearly every single Idol song in one place, BLUSHING TIDE OH MY GOD I WON'T FORGET HEARING THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME! THE SQUID SISTERS DEFENDER NEURONS IN MY BRAIN WERE JUMPING AROUND I TELL YOU THAT! The performances of the past live concerts being fully preserved into a digital form that can be accessed anytime. Like... Oh my god they put in so much fucking effort into this.

I won't lie, i tried to dance along to some of the songs, yes i did try to sing along to the lyrics out loud, yes i did cry over Three Wishes, yes i did literally sob my eyes out really hard when the credits music from all the games played in the hub. I was a literal mess by the time that it ended. My face was so wet and i couldn't stop crying during that final hour, my eyes were actually hurting I'm not even fucking joking. The only other time i really cried hard over a video game were Red Dead Redemption 2, Super Mario Galaxy and Persona 3 Reload. Even thinking back to how i was i get a little teary eyed. In that moment i thought "oh god... Is this it? Is this the last time i will get to see them again? Is this... the end? I don't want it to end! I don't want them to go!!" Man... I was so fucking sad dude. I think it was the first time that Daybreaker Anthem got to me as well, never thought that Deep Cut could make me cry but hey, they did it. It was a really magical experience. It really was.

And that final day man... That fucking final day with Rainbow Color Inkantation was just... OH MY GOD MY HEART WAS POUNDING! I WAS GOING CRAZY! I never felt so much adrenaline hearing those final 10 seconds. It might actually be my favourite Calamari Inkantation I'm not even kidding. 3mix is a banger and Splatoon 1's inkantation is iconic, but Rainbow Color Inkantation feels climatic, it feels like everyone coming together for one last song, and the idols trying to fight for dominance on that song. Rainbow Calamari Inkantation might be a contender for the magnum opus of the Splatoon OST I'm not even kidding.

The Grand Festival was.... everything. It was the best way to end Splatoon 3 and i don't think they could have done it any better.

Conclusion.

I wanna say, thank you for reading, it means a lot to me, truly it does. Like you spent time out of your day to read the personal ramblings of a random ass autistic man who likes squids and octopuses a bit too muchhhh...

This franchise means a lot to me and countless other people too. From the outside it might seem a bit weird or cringe to be so obsessed with a franchise like this, to cry and sob at some of it despite it's silly and girly appearance. But i do not give a shit about the people who find it weird. To be free is to embrace the cringe, to embrace the shit that makes you feel whole inside. We all need that thing that makes us feel whole and happy in life.

What this franchise gave me is something literally irreplicable.

Although, as of me writing this segment, my interest in the series is for sure fading away, and that is to be expected. I can't hold onto the interest forever. It must be put to rest. I have other things i wish to experience, i have other games to play, tv shows to watch, things to write, so much to do.

But Splatoon will always be in my heart, I will always keep my things on display, I will never give up my love for this franchise and throw it all away. I will never do that.

So remember everyone, i want you all to stay fresh, make sure you don't get cooked and that you stay off the hook.

Catch ya later!!!

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